#i have so many takes on this whole concept of rain and awning and kissing and falling in love

[apologydanceenthusiast]

Actually, I think I might want them to kiss eachother under the rain, no awning, no wings, getting soaked wet.

Like yes, shielding eachother from rain is their thing,

But what if they didn't have to shield eachother?

What if they can just live freely, without something looming over them from which they need to hide or shield themselves from?

What if they're able to just be happy and let their guard down around eachother for once?

[amara-avery]

Love is a Dog from Hell

Sirius Black x Reader

Song(s): “Love is a Dog from Hell” by The Limousines; “Imperfect” by Stone Sour

Warnings: smoking by both Sirius and Reader; mild language

Requested: nope

A/N: This is my first story in my new xReader series (to be named later!). Each fic that I do incorporates one or more song lyrics, themes, concepts, and such; I recommend listening to the chosen song(s) or read the lyrics :) the song lyrics used are marked in bold throughout the story.

Sirius Black–his trouble-making attitude, rebellious nature, and heart-breaking appearance. The man I love is a dog from hell.

I awoke to the bright morning sun beaming through my dorm window. I was surprised to see that it was already morning–I felt like I had been awake almost all night. All I could think about was him and spending my whole day with him; well, him and our other friends, of course. It was Saturday, and with as beautiful weather as we had, my two groups of close friends decided to all hang out at Hogsmeade for the day. It was our sixth year at Hogwarts and while the four boys considered me a fifth Marauder (without the animagi ability, but protecting their secret) I spent some other time with Lily, Marlene, and Rosalyn. I grew close to both groups of friends–sharing secrets with Lily’s group and getting into trouble with the Marauders. I love them both dearly and felt love and comfort from all of them.

Truth be told, though, I was in love with a specific friend–Sirius Black. He had been my closest friend (perhaps besides Lily) out of everyone since we first met our first year at school. I had quickly developed a schoolgirl crush that I wanted to get over, but it just got worse as the years went on. What was once an innocent desire to hold his hand was now an ache in my chest just at the thought of him. At times, I could feel like I tear myself apart because I want him there with me so badly. The once sweet crush was now overwhelming and possibly ruining me from the inside; as much as I hate it, I was addicted to the rush I got when he smiled or laughed at something I said. He was intoxicating and I want nothing more than anything to tell him. Unfortunately, I was one of many girls to develop a crush on him and one of the many that were too slow to tell him. My friend, Rosalyn, started having feelings for Sirius in our fifth year, and with the courage that I lacked, she pursued him. Now, they’ll be celebrating their one-year anniversary in a few weeks.

So, it’s been hard–seeing the person you love whole-heartedly find happiness and contentment with someone else. I mean, that’s what I assume, anyways; I couldn’t stand to hear about their relationship for long, so Rosalyn and I aren’t as close anymore. I feel pathetic, really–being hopelessly in love with my friend’s boyfriend. However, I’m determined to not let my feelings get in the way and still remain close friends with Sirius. I hide my feelings very well, despite the fact that I feel nervous when I’m around him.

Once I had gotten ready, I made my way to the Great Hall, expecting to see both groups of friends together. Inside, I immediately saw Sirius, James, Remus and Peter at the end of the Gryffindor table, Rosalyn, Lily, and Marlene across from them. I made my way over, sitting across from Peter.

“Well, good morning, sleepyhead,” James said with a smile. “Nice of you to join us.”

I rolled my eyes. “Your sarcasm is not appreciated this early in the morning,” I said jokingly. I started talking to Lily and Marlene while Rosalyn was in deep conversation with Sirius and the other boys were bickering about something. Every so often, I would glance at Sirius, hoping to catch his eye. I never did, though, today or any day. Despite that, I was really looking forward to today–being able to hang out with Sirius on our own. Sirius and I occasionally take a secret smoke break in the Astronomy Tower during the school day. We both developed the habit the summer before fifth year. I cherished those times, as they were the only ones I could share with Sirius alone. No one likes us smoking, especially Rosalyn, so it gave us an excuse to hang out together today, away from anyone else.

After we all finished breakfast, we made our way to Hogsmeade. The rest of the students went their separate ways, letting the eight of us stroll in the warm but now overcast and breezy late morning. Marlene commented about it going to rain while James placed his arm around Lily shoulders; it was cute seeing them together after James flirting with her for years. I walked with Peter behind Sirius and Rosalyn, who weren’t speaking or holding hands. I felt the awkward tension between them, even from back here. I made a mental note to talk to Sirius about it later.

Once in town, we all split up–Rosalyn, Lily, and Marlene went to Honeydukes while James, Peter, and Remus made their way to Zonko’s, leaving Sirius and I alone for a smoke break. We walked down the street towards the start of an alley besides one of the stores. We took out separate clove cigarettes, cupped them against the wind, and took drags. With the smoke in my lungs and the taste of clove on my tongue, I felt my nerves calm. We leaned against the wall beside each other, our arms barely touching.

“We should really quit,” I mentioned as we both took another drag.

“Agreed,” he said before blowing out his smoke. “It’s fun being bad, though.” He grinned.

“Definitely.” I smiled at him.

“So how’s life been, (Y/N)?”

“Wow, so generic.” I smirked. “Okay. You?”

“Just fine, now that I’m here with you.” I rolled my eyes, but felt my heart flutter. “What’s with the eye roll?”

“Sure,” I said in a sarcastic tone. “You better be careful, though–I could be trouble, especially since I’m not your girlfriend.”

“But I live for trouble.” He smiled, making me blush.

“Speaking of, what’s been going on with you two?”

He sighed, the smile fading from his lips. “I made the mistake of saying how much I was looking forward to a smoke break with you today and she got on my case. She’s been pressing me to quit for awhile now–that’s why I haven’t been to a few of our normal breaks with you. I told her that she may be my girlfriend, but she doesn’t get to control me and couldn’t stop me from smoking anymore. She shut up after that.”

“Sounds tough; I’m sorry. But you’re right; she can’t control you–what you do is your choice.”

“Thank you,” he said with a hand gesture towards me and a sigh. “If only she’d hear that.”

I nodded, flicking my finished cigarette to the ground. “Well, what should we do?” I asked as I turned to him.

“We can do anything you want to,” he said, smiling, as he stomped on his finished cigarette. Just then, thunder boomed across the sky and rain began to fall. We pressed ourselves against the wall, laughing, and attempted to stay dry under the building’s awning.

“Should we go somewhere dry?” I suggested over the rainfall.

“Nah,” he said with a smile. “I like being out here with you.” Despite the chilly rain, I felt my face get hot as I looked into Sirius’ eyes.

“I like being here with you, too”, I said, almost breathlessly. The rain continued to fall around us, and I felt myself become weak as I saw Sirius gaze at my lips. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to place my lips on his–something that I had dreamed about countless times before. But, as he began to lean in, his hand on the back of my neck, I placed my hands on his chest to stop him. He pulled back, looking me in the eyes. “Sirius, I–” I swallowed, gripping the front of his jacket. “As much as I truly want to kiss you right now, we shouldn’t. You’re still with Rosalyn, even if you guys are fighting.”

“I know.” He frowned.

“Sirius, I really do like you, more than you probably know. But until you’re single and not with Rosalyn, we are off limits.”

He nodded, dropping his hands to his sides. “We should probably find everyone.” I nodded before we rushed through the rain to the Three Broomsticks. Inside, we spotted everyone towards the back with warm mugs of hot chocolate in front of everyone. I sat beside Lily and Marlene while Sirius took his place beside Rosalyn. It pained me to leave things off on a bad note with him; it was hard for us to talk or make eye contact the rest of the day. Lily caught on quickly, seeking answers once we were alone back at Hogwarts. I told her what happened, reassuring her that we didn’t kiss. The more we talked about it, the sadder I became, wanting to be alone. Sensing my sadness, Lily said that if I needed her, she’d always be around and let me go to my dorm alone.

Once inside and all alone, I changed into new, warm pajamas and sat on my bed, my knees to my chest and arms around my legs. I looked through the window into the rainy night. I couldn’t help but find tears forming in my eyes as I silently ran over what happened that day. In that moment, I felt selfish and wanted Sirius to be with me instead. It took all of my self-control to stop him earlier. I put aside my years-long desire to show my love for him; I made myself suffer to preserve what was left of my friend’s happiness. Even though Rosalyn knew how much I liked Sirius all those years, she went behind my back and got with him. I felt betrayed, as I had confided in her for years about my feelings, but I convinced myself her happiness was more important and supported them instead.

I groaned quietly, closing my eyes and lying down in my bed. Annoyed and sad over the whole situation, I decided the best thing for the both of us was to forget all that happened. Some thing are better off forgotten–buried in places that we only visit by ourselves. As much as I wanted to be with Sirius, I really wanted him to work things out with Rosalyn and forget about what happened as well; it would be easier for both of us to keep the impulsive but sweet moment we shared a forgotten secret. While I cherished the moment, I was determined to never let happen again.

The following day, I skipped breakfast and met with Lily, Marlene, and Rosalyn in the library to finish homework. I met the three of them towards the back, at our usual study spot, who had already gotten a large amount of books and placed them on the table. However, no one was working; instead, Lily and Marlene looked to be comforting Rosalyn.

“Hey,” I said quietly. They all turned around, Rosalyn’s eyes red and puffy. It was obvious she was crying. “Are you all right?”

Rosalyn looked away and shook her head. “Sirius broke up with me last night.”

My heart pounded hard in my chest. “I’m so sorry, Rosalyn,” I said in a sympathetic tone; I put my hand on her shoulder.

“I just didn’t expect this to happen. Sure, we fought yesterday, but I didn’t think it was that bad. He said that it wasn’t me, it was him–what a bullshit excuse.”

I awkwardly kept my hand on her shoulder. I did feel sorry for her, but not enough to suppress my sudden excitement. I wanted to talk to Sirius–see what his real reason was for leaving, even though I think I already knew. Rosalyn took a deep breath and straightened herself up, deciding that focusing on schoolwork would be the best distraction. I barely made it through the afternoon before I eagerly made my way to find Sirius. He wasn’t in the Gryffindor common room, nor his dorm. Assuming I knew where he’ be next, I made my way to the Astronomy Tower. To my luck, I saw him leaning on one railing, a cigarette in his hand.

“Sirius?” I walked towards him. He turned towards me, his face and eyes lighting up.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he said as I leaned against the raining beside him. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“I figured this was where you were. How are you?”

“I’m all right. You?”

“I’m fine.” I smiled. “So, I heard about what happened with Rosalyn.”

“Ah,” he sighed. “While my feelings for you did determine my decision, I saw that I enjoyed her more as a friend, not a partner. She was really torn up about it.”

I nodded. “But life goes on. I’m sure she’ll see that it was a good decision and move on.”

“I hope so.” We both went silent as we looked out onto the school grounds. I could feel my heart beating hard in my chest as I thought about when the right time would be to ask him about us. He did just admit he had feelings for me, so there was no real reason for the growing anxiety in my stomach, right? Or was it guilt? I thought about how Rosalyn would react if she knew I went after Sirius right after their break up. I grimaced, knowing it probably wasn’t the best thing to do if I wanted to keep her as a friend. I bit my lip as I glanced over at Sirius, who had his back to the scenery as he looked at me. He smirked slightly as he glanced at the ground before looking back into my eyes.

“What?” I smiled at him.

“I feel like another piece of me falls into place each time you smile at me,” he said. I was taken aback, almost not believing this was reality. This was how I felt, too.

“I’ve felt that way about you for years, Sirius.”

“I have, too. I can’t believe it’s taken this long to get together.” He moved toward me, his arms slipped around my waist as I moved my arms around his neck. “You’re all I think about. You’re all I’ve ever thought about, (Y/N).”

“You’re all I think about, too” I said. He smiled widely, making my heart melt. I quickly pressed my lip against his, unable to wait any longer. The kiss was warm, almost electric, and all that I had dreamed about. Every part of my ached for him, my hands moving to his neck and tangling my fingers in his hair. We barely broke for air, too eager to taste each other once more. One of his hands moved to my neck, his thumb tracing my jawline. He pushed my back against the wall and pressed himself against me. I quickly became hooked to the sensation of his lips on mine, the way he tasted like cloves and morning coffee; I was thoroughly addicted to Sirius Black.

We decided to keep our new relationship a secret to everyone, but everyone besides Rosalyn caught on fairly quickly. They all saw us together and told us how perfect we really were. Once we told Rosalyn a few months later, she was disappointed, but moved on quickly. She, too, said we made a good couple and was able to become friends with Sirius one more. Finally, after so long, I was able to call Sirius’ embrace my home.

Ah, my first official fic in my xReader song series (feel free to recommend some names!). I hope you enjoyed it! I don’t think it’s my best, but I have many other songs I want to incorporate into stories–I’m looking forward to my next one. Until then, feel free to request one; I’d be more than happy to write short ones for anyone! :)