#i have so many questions about the pronouns firefly/sam uses

[manofmanymons]

Star Rail is so great cuz you'll hear the Stellaron Hunters, some of the most dangerous people you know, talk about how terrifying and fucked up Sam is

And then you meet him and he's just

Little Gorl

[theensemblesys]

Long Rant !

Just a rant about an experience we had recently, please do not read if you are/support “endogenic systems”!

(Any who ignore the warning above and send hate/yell at us, will be promptly blocked! We don’t care.) Read below the cut.

We are a recently discovered system, and a minor (no we aren’t fucking 13 don’t do that fake claim bs that every single mf tries), being so—we know very little on how to handle our… systemhood, for a lack of a better word. We have been having a hard time recently, and decided to go and play Murder Mystery on Minecraft's Hypixel with our Partner and best friend. We cosplayed together as characters from Honkai: Star Rail, Us: Robin, Partner: Boothill, and out best friend as Firefly/SAM.

We played a few rounds, and eventually came across a Hu Tao cosplayer. We immediately got excited and interacted with them, our partner actively chatting with them for a few rounds after that. Eventually, many rounds later, we all added eachother on Discord, made a group call, and played a lot more.

During this, we had paused or Murder Mystery round to talk about everyone’s preferred names, pronouns, and then to pick a new game.

The person who led the new friend group, who we will call Oak as a fake name (all fake names ahead), had set up the original group of: Oak, My Partner, My best friend, “Aventurine”, “Baizhu” and then “Zhongli” who couldn’t make it to the call. When picking between Build Battle games, a person was added to the group—and we'll call them “Juliet”. Juliet immediately joined call, and was very picky about how we played. On top of this, Juliet brought up how they’re autistic, overstimulated, and pissed off—after being in call for less than five minutes.

Now, we also have autism, this is very understandable. Though, we immediately got a bad feeling, by how they got very pissy about the how we played Build Battle and not the game they asked us to play right away—that being The Blocking Dead. We played two more rounds, before eventually playing what they wanted, not wanting to exclude anyone. When we did this, they then begged for us to let their partner, who I’ll call “Romeo”, into the party AND our group chat. Me and my partner, who had created this group, weren’t initially very happy with this idea—again, being people pleasers, we didn’t speak up, and we let them in.

We played many, many rounds of The Blocking Dead, before finally all getting burnt out, and leaving call. Me and my Partner ended up in a voice call, just chatting and finally us unmasking and just getting to be exhausted with our partner. In the midst of this, Oak had advertised their server to the group chat, and “Romeo” had joined in. “Romeo” almost IMMEDIATELY pointed out the fact that PluralKit was in the server, then claiming they're mentally ill and loved that bot. Then, “Oak”, also admitted they’re a system, and needed the bot for accommodating purposes every now and then. Suddenly, Juliet Introjected as well, also claiming they were a System. We felt like we could trust that group—mostly only “Oak” and “Aventurine, who were the only lasting few of the group besides our already known friends.

After we said “oh shit, not just us, then?/silly”, Juliet then said Plurality was their special interest, and suggested a group chat that could ONLY consist of the systems. Romeo, Juliet's partner, immediately spammed their name, making them check DMs. Suddenly, four of us are in a group chat, and we are all saying hi. Juliet first asks us to all state who’s in front, and our names and pronouns. Everyone else besides Oak and I go first, Oak saying they’re usually blurry, and us lying and saying we weren’t sure, and gave basic pronouns that mostly consisted of any/all.

Now, we ask basic questions, hoping to get an answer on where to start on being accommodated for our disabilities, non mental, and they then delve into talking about how—getting diagnosed isn’t important, and how, it doesn’t matter if you “have trauma” or not. Then saying that medical professionals don’t care if you have trauma or not, and just want to help you heal and cope with your disorder. They don’t care if it’s “traumaless” or not.

Now, in retrospect, we should have really left there—but we felt obligated to stay, so we could protect our new friend who could fall victim to this. Eventually, the conversation escalated from Oak asking about terminology, specifically “what does polyfragmented mean?”. Juliet immediately began talking about how Plurality is their special interest, and went on to talk about it. They explained it, and then decided to add that Plurality can be caused without trauma, again. This becomes a pattern in the rest of the conversation, continuously going on and on with medical “proof” that used outdated terminology, and came out as far back as 2013.

By this point it was only us and Juliet talking, Oak completely leaving the conversation, doing something else. We were left skimming over all of this with our partner, who urged us to say something first to “Oak”, but we weren’t sure if it was safe to or not.

Now, we'd like to pause the conversation to mention—Romeo is 19, it’s in their profile, and Juliet claimed that they’re only 16 even though, before this, said they were around TWENTY-ONE OR TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD.

Taking their age into consideration, after a chat with “Oak” when the group chat between the four of us went dead, we then talked to “Oak” with our partner. Apparently we all had the same gut feeling of discomfort, and went straight to kicking them from the main group chat, and eventually oak left the “plural group chat”.

When Oak left, Romeo, who had been quiet the whole time, went, “What? Can’t handle a scientific fact?”, being all snarky. Now, the WHOLE time, I mean the WHOLE TIME—they referred to “endogenic system” “antis” and “discourse” around “endos” as a whole, as “silly drama” and “cherry picking”.

They then trauma dumped right after saying those things, saying they were sex trafficked.

We got dmd once we left that group chat, getting told—by Juliet—“oh im 16 btw” after we lied and said their age was the problem. We promptly blocked them, and are just astonished that this is what people have even come to.

We don’t know what to out at the end of this,

Just—Jesus Christ.

People.

[ladylilithprime]

Tagged in spirit by @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - Starbucks cinnamon coconut macciato with extra caramel.

2. phone call - My husband.

3. text message - My dad.

4. song you listened to - Gregorian's cover of Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven Is A Place On Earth".

5. time you cried - About a month ago after a fight with my dad where he said something really thoughtless and horrible about my depression. He apologized very quickly after, but still.

ever

6. dated someone twice? - Technically, yes?

7. kissed someone and regretted it - Kinda? Not at the time, but in retrospect....

8. been cheated on - No.

9. lost someone special - Yes.

10. been depressed - Chronically.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - Eeyup.

fave colours

12. Black

13. Purple

14. Green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Yes, several!

16. fallen out of love - Nope, and not gonna!

17. laughed until you cried - Almost. Eyes teared up but they didn't fall. ~stares at certain writer friends who are responsible~

18. found out someone was talking about you - I'm... not sure what you mean?

19. met someone who changed you - Yes.

20. found out who your friends are - ~shrugs~ Nothing recently tested that.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - No. (See 22.)

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - All of them! ^_~ (Trick question: I'm not on Facebook.)

23. do you have any pets - Two precious cats, one of whom is still missing. TT_TT

24. do you want to change your name - I already did.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - Traveled to Vienna, Austria, and had dinner on my birthday with several visiting friends from a message board I'm on staff for. We had fun!

26. what time did you wake up today - AhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA~ 15:27. To be fair, I didn't get to sleep until seven AM.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Wrestling with a toddler.

28. what is something you can’t wait for - My husband to come home from Iraq.

30. what are you listening to right now - The literal sounds of silence.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - Five of them that I know of off the top of my head.

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Question 29.

33. most visited website -  GDrive, tumblr, AO3, Gmail, A-Z Lyrics, Ravelry

34. hair colour - Naturally light auburn/red.

35. long or short hair - Long.

36. do you have a crush on someone - Uhhh... ~shiftly look~ Does it matter if they're fictional?

37. what do you like about yourself - I like my creativity... most of the time. =/

38. want any piercings? - I think I have enough already.

39. blood type - B+

40. nicknames - Kaye, RK, Rudy, Bad Influence...

41. relationship status - Very married.

42. zodiac - Scorpio, Rat

43. pronouns - Xi/xir/xiri/xir'sa (or she/her/hers/herself because most days I'm too tired to give a fuck if my gender matches the pronouns someone's using for me)

44. fave tv shows - Supernatural, Star Trek, Yuri on Ice, Buffy, Firefly, Castle

45. tattoos - Four currently, used to be six, will eventually be seven.

46. right or left handed - Functionally ambidextrous.

47. ever had surgery - Yes.

48. piercings - Earlobes, two in the left, three in the right.

49. sport - Hockey.

50. vacation - Yes, please!

51. trainers - No, I prefer boots.

more general

52. eating - Nothing, it's almost three AM.

53. drinking - Cucumber melon seltzer water.

54. i'm about to watch - Ice Dance World Championships from 2017

55. waiting for - The weekend My muses to remember that they're supposed to be working with me, not running off to Tahiti without me.

56. want - To get this damned scene written so that I don't have to put myself in depressed-and-passively-suicidal!Sam's headspace again for a loooooooong time.

57. get married - I already did.

58. career - Writing. It's my vocation.

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - Hugs.

60. lips or eyes - Eyes?

61. shorter or taller - Uhh.... For what?

62. older or younger - No, seriously, better for what??

63. nice arms or stomach - Nice arms are good for hugging...?

64. hookup or relationship - Better for WHAT?!

65. troublemaker or hesitant - You know what, I give up.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - Yes.

67. drank hard liquor - Yes.

68. lost glasses - They aren't lost! My kids keep running off with them, breaking them, and hiding them to keep me from finding out and being mad.

69. turned someone down - Yes.

70. sex on first date - Uhh... I don't think it counts if we never actually dated.

71. broken someone's heart - No idea.

72. had your heart broken - No.

73. been arrested - Yes.

74. cried when someone died - Yes.

75. fallen for a friend - Yes.

do you believe in

76. yourself - No. I'm imaginary. I don't exist.

77. miracles - Occasionally.

78. love at first sight - Well, my husband sure does since the sap keeps saying that's how he fell for me...

79. santa claus - Uhh... Yes. Of course. And the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, the Sandman, and Jack Frost.

80. kissing on the first date - If we really click and things are going well, sure.

81. angels - Um... Next question.

other

82. best friend's name - I call her San.

83. eye colour - Jared Padalecki-ish

84. fave movie - The Neverending Story

85. fave actor - Jared Padalecki Tie between Idris Elba and Zoe Saldana.

Tagging anyone who has time to kill and/or plot bunnies to avoid!