#i have so many emotions about this icb

[froggyrights]

Okay so there is literally nothing confirmed about this and everything is speculative because literally 5undy ended because 5up removes Fundy's emote and told chat to never mention him again.

But this didn't stop 5up himself mentioning things because he'd go on his alt which gets deleted never to be seen again and vague to his hearts content. During all this Fundy is radio silent, he stopped streaming around this time and he seemed pretty depressed.

Fast forward again to Sneegs wedding and both Fundy and 5up attend now my ordering of this might be wrong but Fundy is collecting pictures of him with various cc's and now he has a 5up one so things seem to be fine between them but they aren't friends anymore.

The truthing comes because 5undy burned bright and it burned quickly. They'd have these "dates" where they'd watch movies together on discord and they'd play so many co-op games and during an Amazon stream Fundy ends up buying 5up a ring. It is all very sweet and flirty and the sailing of a strong ship. Then they finally meet in person and this is when it's speculated things go wrong. The irl streams are great, 5up gets his ring, I think they're in love but then it crash and burns.

Common consensus initially is that 5up, whose out and biromantic asexual, fell for him for real but Fundy, who isn't out, didn't reciprocate.

Then it moves to messy break-up because 5up the drama queen that he is says some vague stuff including that his last relationship was a red flag, so 5undy maybe real and Fundy toxic.

But 5up is super wishy-washy and all over the place so then maybe it's 5up who was actually toxic but no one actually knows.

And that's the 5undy lore in a nutshell. This is abridged but you get the jist. To have everything this ask would be 10x longer

Anon thank you SO much for this I was absolutely losing my mind because I couldn't find anything on it anywhere I looked.

icb he bought him a RING??? jesus christ. I watched some clips today and mannn this is tragic for real they were like actually cute.. but anyway THANK U my curiosity is finally sated and I can put this to rest now <33

[sg-artem]

MC, remember to continue doing what you have to do

BXKNSKJDHWIBDHOEHDB I will be the first to admit that I am the biggest clown in terms of this main story update. When the trailer was released my mind went on full-on, "AWWW this is so cute how on earth will they make it angsty." BUT ho ho ho PG once again has amazed me with their writing because HOLY COW WTFRIK WAS THAT 😭😭😭 Anika at least tried to reign me down from my hope which I'm thankful that she did because I was too freaking optimistic 😭🤣

The fact that this picture can produce a whole different set of emotions in me after reading the story is just amazing. Anika's rants and tidbits at the end helped a lot because you realize the build-up of memory loss. It wasn't just like BAM this is the angst for the chapter but it had a great build-up even though I cried like buckets during the entire thing.

So let's talk about the elephant in the room. The freaking damned memory loss into oblivion. 😭 FREAKING DUMMY VICTOR HUHUHUHU WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. The fact that I also have to wait three months for the next update is excruciating enough but THIS JUST 😭😭😭😭

The whole build-up to the thing was freaking sad and amazing at the same time. It was bittersweet and is a knife to the heart knowing the whole story now 🔪🔪 It's the rare instances where he knows something going to happen but he gets choked up with his words and just enjoys the moment. The small smiles and the FREAKING VOICE ACTING just take the cake. ICB it all happened towards the end as well. 10 minutes was all I needed to FREAKING BAWL MY EYES OUT FOR THIS MAN. 😭😭😭

It's the way he showed no regrets even when he witnessed MC just forgetting him. Also, their overarching theme of being each other's home is so present in this ending. You see MC going back to him with their ice cream and just having a memory wipe but the fact that she knows that something's missing. She felt it down to her core that she was returning to something but she can't put her finger on what it is. The fact that she even said the name Li Zeyan is a great feat in itself. You see her struggle, pain, and overall confusion as what she was doing because the universe just wiped out her memories of the person she calls her sanctuary.

The freaking bylines just hit differently now okay 😭😭🔪 Like I know they'll return her memories eventually because Victor is a pivotal part of the story but the fact that he witnessed all that (ie. the person you love with all your being, your home, and who you have devoted your entire life to just forget about you) THAT JUST BREAKS ME. This man does not need to feel any more pain okay?! HE'S HAD ENOUGH HUHUHU PG PLS STOP. 😭😭😭

So here are my rambles on this whole freaking Victor main story update. I just want to say that I had to write this the next day because my emotions were far too raw just doing a ramble right away. Also, the fact that there are so many past date references within the story like the pool date where they had their first kiss to just the lanterns in general just broke my heart more. It was like reminiscing memories and then BOOM you just forget it all entirely. 😭😭😭

LI ZEYAN YOU DUMMY. I HOPE YOU GET THE RECONCILIATION YOU DESERVE IN THE NEXT CHAPTERS. If you further disappear to oblivion, I might just start a riot 😭😭😭😭 Lastly, freaking Meng Chang was such a pain in the ass. I wanted to throttle his pea-sized brain every time he spoke just AN INSUFFERABLE BISH.

[CN] Victor x MC - S2 CH 44 - Part 2 (Eng Translation)

“This smile is not pretty, and I have a feeling that I’ve seen this man smile even more beautifully before.”

“The falling fireworks are as gorgeous as the reminiscence of tears cascading down from the galaxy.”

Do remember to read PART 1 first: Here!

⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a chapter that is yet to be released on the global server. ⌚  

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

Keep reading

[ofhomeland-a]

hello happy new year ! even though i’ve been on tumblr on and off for almost like 8 years or something , i’ve only been writing dinah on tumblr since october 23rd and even though i don’t interact with nearly as many people as i’d like to , it warms my heart that this many people enjoy what i write ! they enjoy my portrayal and they share the same love that i have for my muse , and that means everything to me ! because dinah madani ? oh , boy ... she stomped into my own home and snatched my own heart from my chest ; i love her so much , and i love writing her character so much . so uh , i know this is such an ugly post , but i was taken by surprise when i took a quick look through my followers this morning .

first of all , i want to thank each and every one of you for following me and wanting to interact . i appreciate you all not only for enjoying my content and portrayal , but just for existing and getting through it all . you’re here , it’s about to be a new year , and i’m proud of you for that . 

second , i do want to shout at a few people real quick because that’s what people do on these things , right ?

CLOSEST FRIENDS

@agentstein / @catwalksilhouette / @brightwasright / @finaldisorder — we’ve been at this for almost a decade . we met on this hellsite and we formed a relationship on this hellsite and now you’re my best friend and fiance . you support me and indulge all of my weird ass ideas . nothing is too ‘ far out ’ for you ; you never make me feel insecure about my characters or ideas . love that for me . love that for us . you’re the best and i’m just so thankful we met on our jim and molly blogs so feckin’ long ago . you’re the light in my life , and the main reason i continue on . as with every relationship , there are bumps , but god damn we work through them like the champions we are . keep on keepin’ on , you funky little love bug . i love you more than life .

@kingoftheravens / @apogexn — *slaps top of head* this bad boy can fit so many creative ideas in it !!!! no but really , no matter how often i disappear , vicious is DEADASS always here to welcome me back with open arms with zero guilt trips or anything like that . we met ( briefly ) on this blue hellsite like 5+ years ago , and i always really looked up to her as a person and her amazing world building . she was actually one of the first people i met when i made loki all those years ago , so ofc when i saw her url floating around once i made brock , i had to reach out despite being scared to , and i’m so glad i did . <3 vicious , ily and you’re just spectacular . thank you for being such an awesome friendo .

@kupale / @hadncchoice — GOBS i know you aren’t here , but i miss you terribly . we’ve been through ... a lot together LMAO but we came out stronger because of it ! i’m so glad you decided to stick around , and i’m so glad we stuck with each other through it ! i know i speak for milo too when i say this , but you’re amazing . you’re a trooper and you’re going to keep trooping on . i miss you !!!! <3

@soulstcne — !!!!!! this is another one that is literally always here and ready to welcome me back with open arms whenever i disappear and decide to come back . i can never repay your kindness and patience , but i absolutely appreciate it more than anything . shauna is always ready to plot and just spitball ideas ALL day and i love it so much ! also ashley ?? whew , she’s just as amazing <333 

BABES

@zombleeds / @griefends / @whisperswar — MELANIE . ICB !!! i know i’ve said this 100 times , but i remember being in awe of your frank when i wrote on my bucky and i’m just SO glad i decided to reach out to you !!! i know once i stop being a massive potato , we are going to write beautiful and heart breaking things >) thank you for being so positively amazing !!!

@jigscw — i know we don’t talk often , but i just wanted to thank you for always indulging my random IM’s screaming about either dinah & billy or krista & billy . you’re honestly really easy to talk to , and your billy is just CHEF KISS . i love him !!! i love the way you write him ! the tone !!! HHHH everything . thank you for writing with me !

@cynicomplex — listen i know we don’t talk a whole lot , but i appreciate you so much ! i love how open you are to my dumb ideas , and you always support them ! i also love how much i love our two idiots here ..... they’re so dumb and i just can’t with them . i know we’ve only written a few things together , and haven’t really gotten too far in any of them , but the chemistry between dinah and devrah is undeniable ! soon they’ll see they belong together ... soon ... 

@affcgato / @readyforyours / @idumean / @takeseffort / @huntersprayer — i’m so glad i accidentally liked a random thread between you and someone else , because it MADE me reach out in order to apologize for being awkward . i’ve always loved your characterization , no matter the muse . you’re such a sweet and amazing person , i’m really glad we’ve started talking !! also , i just want to point out that fact that you’re incredibly strong , and i am so proud of you !! for getting through the BS that you did !!! and the fact that you’re able to come back ,,, <3 i really hope to plot with you very soon ( with any of your muses ! ) but i just ned to stop being Potato first !!! 

@tocxmply — I KNOW I’M A SLOW ASS POTATO , but we’re 2 replies into our thread and it’s already got me feelin’ some type of way . i love your take on bucky , i love your writing , and i love your dedication . thank you so much for not only following me , but also entertaining my ideas and helping me plot something wonderful . you’re wonderful !

@hakune — !!!!! we haven’t written yet , but when we do .... oh the dash isn’t prepared for it !!! i love your characterization , your write all of your muses with such dedication and love , it’s amazing to see . also your energy on the dash ? top notch . i’m living for it !! 

@warhunting / @blcckbiird / @knifesavvy — i’m sorry you have to put up with so much from shitty people in your inbox . every time i see it , it makes me so angry . but honestly , you’re such a strong person and i’m proud of you for continuing to do what you love ! also rick and dinah ? cuties . i hope to continue developing them in 2020 !

@ikumkani / @sundiety — wow ... your conviction . your energy !!!! your writing !!!!!!! i really admire you and T’Challa , like ... you write him and about him with such a dedicated passion , i can FEEL it radiating from every word ! i love the fact that i can hear his voice in my head with every word , and those headcanons ??? i can’t . also hold on a second , SOL CAME INTO MY OWN HOME and stole my heart , okay . i love her concept , i love her ! i love reading about her , and learning more about her . thank you so much for blessing my dash with your wonderful creations .

@putrifyre — i’ve said it once and i’ll say it 100 more times : I LOVE TASS . I LOVE HIM !!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ABOUT HIM . i love how emotional he is !! how loving he is toward his SO’s ! how Soft™ he can be !!! one wouldn’t expect it coming from someone like him , and that really just adds so much to his character ! i’m in love with everything you have for him !! and then you !! oh , you’re a gem ! i know we’ve only spoken a few times , mainly because i’m Shit with keeping up w people , but you’re so ,,, nice . you’re so easy to talk to !! 

@arrowfcrged — !!! omg I LOVE victor , and I LOVE his and dinah’s dynamic so much . and i LOVE how sweet you are ! you’re very welcoming , very fun , and you’re always up for plotting and tossing ideas around ! love that ! thank you so much for writing with me , and for inadvertently helping me figure out dinah���s own sort of vigilante verse . writing with you definitely assisted in fleshing her reasoning out , and it’s wonderful that i was able to do that with you <3

LOVELIES

@cthlicdevil / @warstrike / @boundedbygrief / @elataan / @lcdiablcblanc / @stormweathered / @riddel / @deferentially / @rouqehair / @deivll / @venomtm / @hoyled / @prcsopa / @sniperwithasmoke / @br6vo / @detectiev / @dunnithole / @wardogsong / @hittcr / @fbiartist / @huntreborn / @becomedeviant / @craene / @warcharged / @lasw3ll / @childhealcr / @standsready / @tlmebreaks / @codedhonor / @marredset / @aresblessed / @avocadefense / @fairdoves / @wristful / @falsedking / @hlekter / @miserybled / @cadisfly / @brightprofiler / @healsiick / @thestarskiller / @palespyder / @shitgiven / @ashtouch / @awbartonno / @hopeswrath / @geneticempath / @conflyct / @lucifeyr / @tapewormking / @suppetior 

happy new year , everyone ! let’s make it a great one <3

[higheverheir-archive]

@angerbuilt​ said:for the dev. meme, multiples of 5 thank u

icb you’re gonna do this many wtf

005. ARE THEY IN GOOD HEALTH?

Lissa is in excellent health, PTSD and depression notwithstanding. She rarely gets sick, and when she does, it’s never for very long. Mostly because I think germs are scared of her.

010. DO THEY BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?

yes and no! She believes in her father falling in love at first sight of her mother, but she doesn’t think anything like that could happen for herself.

015. ARE THEY MOST LIKELY TO FIGHT WITH THEIR FISTS OR THEIR TONGUE?

When Elissa was younger, it was a lot more likely to be her fists. She got in several scraps with any boys who came near her (sorry to the Howe boys @quiprava​). As she’s aged and become more involved in politics, she tends to fight her battles with her tongue. Every now and then, though, the fists do get pulled out.

020. WHAT ARE THEIR HOBBIES?

Swordsmanship, embroidery, singing, dancing, walking around naked in her room with her sword

025. WHAT DO THEY CONSIDER BEAUTIFUL IN OTHERS PERSONALITY-WISE?

Kindness. Compassion. Softness.

030. DO THEY BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE?

She needs to. She needs to believe she’ll see her parents, Oriana, and Oren again. She needs that.

035. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE YOUR CHARACTER LIVES BY?

“Kill them with kindness if you have to, but do not leave them standing.”

040. WHAT IS THEIR OBSESSION?

Her dog, raising dogs, loving dogs, breeding dogs, training with dogs. She’s a Fereldan, what do you expect?

045. DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE ANY CHRONIC MEDICAL CONDITIONS?

Physical, no, surprisingly. Mentally, PTSD and depression.

050. HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT THEIR OWN MORTALITY?

Death is inevitable. She knows this. She’s brushed with death so many times over her life that she’s accepted it. Besides, leaving your parents to die doesn’t exactly make one not think about one’s impending doom.

055. IS YOUR CHARACTER AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT?

She’s an introvert. She is enigmatic, energetic, and absolutely personable as a politician and in public, but she needs time to herself to recharge. Usually that’s with swinging a sword around, sweating like a mule, but it can also be as simple as stepping into the kitchens for a moment just to breathe.

060. WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S ATTITUDE TOWARD EDUCATION AND LEARNING?

She treasures education. She knows that learning how the world works is an important tool. Beyond that, she thinks everyone should be able to and allowed to read, and write, at least.

065. IS YOUR CHARACTER BETTER AT LEADING OR FOLLOWING? WHICH DO THEY PREFER?

She is a better leader than a follower, preferring to take charge and make plans. She does not do well following orders, unless they’re from people she respects as leaders, i.e., her father. Also she’s. She’s queen of an entire country?

070. WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER IS COWARDLY?

She 100% thought about running away after Ostagar. Her parents were gone, her brother was MIA presumed dead, and all that was left was the cute-but-unfamiliar warden and herself. There are always  times when she thinks about just up and leaving.

075. IS YOUR CHARACTER TICKLISH?

Yes, in exactly three spots: the backs of her knees, her sides, and the back of her neck.

080. HOW EASY IS IT FOR OTHERS TO READ YOUR CHARACTER’S EMOTIONS?

It depends on who she’s with! Her brother reads her better than anyone else, even when she’s being political and has herself schooled into neutrality. Next easiest would be her spouse. And other politicians usually cannot get a read on her, unless they get her hopping mad.

085. DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER IN THREE WORDS.

Cousland. Warden. Queen.

090. HOW BODILY EXPRESSIVE IS YOUR CHARACTER?

She tends to express herself vocally more, but sometimes she’ll just have visceral reactions to things. Body pulling away, nose wrinkling, lip curling.

095. NAME THREE THINGS MOST WOULD NOT EXPECT YOUR CHARACTER TO BE ABLE TO DO.

Sing, embroider, lace her own corset.

100. DOES YOUR CHARACTER DREAM? IF SO, WHAT DO THEY DREAM ABOUT?

Lissa does dream, and usually her dreams are a mix of memories from Ostagar and Highever, and whatever taint-nightmares being a Warden gives her. Very rarely does she have a pleasant night’s sleep.

[darkenedvanity-a]

PAY BACK BRATKAT. MY URL

 ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ALL YOU NEED IS POSITIVITY  / @hookbled

                  ICB!

   i mean i can, because you are you, but like WERE MY TAGS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU. god where do i start. we started FOUR (maybe more?) YEARS AGO. back on lydia and scott, and it just kinda evolved from there. we’ve followed each other through every blog move, and remake, and hide out. every fandom, and muse change. you’ve always been the constant. no matter where i went, or whether or not we were actively writing, you’ve always been there. you’re my best friend. and i love you so fucking much it’s crazy. even when i dip out for awhile, you’re always here when i come back, and i will ALWAYS come back to you boo! most of the time you are the only person i actually like/want to talk to. even when we have nothing to actually talk about i can throw random shit at you that has amused me and i think will amuse you. i enjoy talking to you every morning, and every night. and writing with you is always my favourite thing to do. i love all the messed up shit we come up with, and all the twists and turns we put out muses through. you are my platonic soulmate, we are one in the same. you’re my other half, and i honestly wouldn’t be able to live without you! you are IRREPLACEABLE! I love you ashbutt, so so so very much! also have my tags as a reminder just how much i love you! 

#WOW#I JUST#can i make this about you now?#can i tell you how#im so glad you are in my life#and how you are literally one of my VERY BEST FRIENDS EVER#and i don’t know what i would do without you#and you and our friendship mean SO MUCH TO ME#and i’ve had to type many of these sentences over again#because i am EMOTIONAL#and like wow#you’re just#you’re the best!#and i love you so so so much!#you’re my PLATONIC SOULMATE#and that’s that on that

[lackshumaniity-blog]

hi my name is miles and im suffering over norman and emily in 616 canon. anyway,  have fun with me and @hraunwyf yellin about it.

emotional support goblin

and that He Mourned for Nothing though what stumps me is that if Em thought Norm was that bad why did she uh LEAVE HARRY BEHIND WITH HIM

tiddy

RIGHT

emotional support goblin

LIKE ????? EMILY WHAT THE FUCK LMAO icb ur a selfish bitch who leaves your goddamn kid with a  " monster  "

tiddy

that'd piss norman off i feel like.... he cares abt harry a lot underneath it all.... to discover that she'd abandoned him? ugh that he had this idealized version of her in his head the whole time but when it came down to it. she just walked out.

emotional support goblin

like what fucks me up is that she was his  COLLEGE SWEETHEART  and he was  SO DEVOTED  to her.  its said so many fucking times how devoted to her he was. like the devotion is there.   the love was so goddamn obvious and he mourned and spiraled  ;  kind of turning into his dad at a point all thanks to it --  he started drinking and burying himself into his goddamn work in grief. with his temper being on a hair pin  ?  of course he'd be pissed off that she just abandoned them both.  that she didn't work with him or tell him what was wrong. there was no  "  goblin  "  back then.  he was sick,  sure,  but it wasn't as pronounced as it was post explosion and all that.  he was ill and she just  ...............  left him and her son.  in his mind he'd be the better parent because at least  h he  didn't abandon his boy.

[woozi]

henlo yza <3 ,

hdjdkd i don't really have much knowledge abt different techniques & kind of dances so when the steps match the lyrics i'm like '!!! wow yes i love it' fhdjdjskks also bc i've grown up watching these kind of dances only so my that's what i tend to notice first hdjdjddk it is also one of the reason why i decided to stan svt dwc, oh my, thanks & our dawn is hotter than day's choreo details really impressed me.

maybe vincenzo is your svt club & ur so valid for that <3 hddjdjekek also pls don't say sorry!! you can talk abt it as much as you want i like knowing what you think. i'll let you know how was it for me when i complete it. & no homecha hasn't ended yet (idk if there are 16 or 14 eps i haven't checked) it does come on weekends, counting this sunday's ep, we're at 12th rn.

i get that fjdjdkkd i used to be the same 😭 always waiting for dramas to end so i can binge watch because not knowing what happens next would kill me. but idk when this happened, my will to watch anything died down bc the eps are just there, available for me to watch anytime. im like 'i'll watch it next time' but next time never comes 💀. this year i've watched no-air ones only hdjssj very surprising for me ( also my wack memory & svt content supports me by forgetting abt it after weekend ends dhdjdkkd) anyway i'm very excited to see how you like homecha!

CHURCH BOY JOSH HDHDJDDKKSLSDJ church boy josh, cringe domestic boy, joshua numbers. we've come up with so many nicknames for him in few asks only 😭😭 dbdjksksk deserve actually. BUT SO TRUE I STILL HAVE NO WORDS FOR HIM. THAT WAS- JUST- WOW OKAY WE SEE YOU 😭😭and dino lip piercing and hoshi eyebrow slit..... so sexy of them. cb concept pictures haven't come out yet & they're already shinning!! love to see that. also now we have gyu and hoshi's wedding reception pictures & cottagecore hannie (with that collarbone picture right in middle >:( wth mister but also hbd ig <3) being added in the equation.

IM CRYINGGGGGG THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY ARE SO CUTE NOO 😭😭💔 HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THESE COVERS WTH (being the ex-directioner and all dhdjkdsksk). I SMILED SO WIDE WATCHING THEM <///3 it's been so long since i heard one thing wow lol. but! this means they know who zayn is. thank you for this jdjssk this is going to keep me happy for some time hdjdke. SUNDAY MORNING EHJEJEKE 😭 thank you <3 dndjdj

IKR???? IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CB I'M ALSO EXCITED TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU. agreee truly bless svt for helping keeping us from losing it over life (by making us lose it over them) tbh sometimes it worries me too with the way contents keep dropping but just now in these unit interviews being released, perf unit shared how they have ppl who encourage them to be okay with their tiredness. things like that put me at ease. hope they rest well from time to time too. honestly just looking at their tour schedules i used to get tired because these dudes used to have more shows and less day offs and some of them being used to just move from one city to another. i hope in coming years pledis changes that lol.

sameee for the poster release hdjdkeek. also even though there was scheduler, i forgot abt the concept trailer 😭 it was raining & bcoz of that power was out as well & i don't use data dhdjdkdk. i think 5 minutes after 12 kst power came back (you can say joshu's sparkler brought it back hdjdjdks) it literally left me speechless. yk that meme ' everyone remembers what they were doing & where they were when it happened ' that's me & you with this cb hfjdkd honestly that's everyone with this cb me thinks.

seventeenies bringing the grass to you w their posts djdjkd ( btw you can always tell me if silly little jokes get out of hand i wouldn't ever like to make you uncomfy) but seriously i hope uni doesn't give you hard time. don't worry much just keep moving forward, at some point whatever is making you feel stuck will move away eventually.

is it that obvious? 😭😭😭😭 no i don't like rain at all dhjddk (i actually didn't dislike it as much during teens) mostly because road drainage system sucks here & we live in lower area so even moderate rain causes water logging. i'd give you some rain but this one's bad so i won't </3 ( as if i could if it were the good one 💀) stay hydrated!!! drink two sips of water everytime you hear dino laugh, i hope it cools a little soon.

that's what being on tumblr since 2012 does to you 😭 ALSO UR SO FUNNY PLS, SO ARE THE MEMES YOU USE FOR ASKS DJDJDKD. *hands you bunny headband dino* it's dangerous outside take this, you too stay safe out there 😭😭😭😭 love you too <3 and thank YOU for hanging out w me hehe :3, also dw tbh these asks have become one of the highlights for me now & i'm only using my free time excluding resting time, i hope you are too, no pressure at all! dw about being late - 🪂

ps - did i tell you i actually followed your svt blog around the time everyone was guessing your biases hddjkddj i sent mingyu & jeonghan dhdjdj that was my first ask :3 - 🪂

henlo, 🪂!! <3 <3 <3

honestly it doesnt matter to me tbh <3 if people enjoy the dance its all that matters!! and omg i can see that!! i love the svteenies always bring something fresh to the table

omg that means you're near the end 😭😭😭 i keep seeing gifs of it on my dash and it makes me feel a lil lovesick ngl HJFHJFHD why is it so TENDER????????????????

ok but that's so valid too bc that's me rn with in the soop.... i literally have not watched the 6th ep yet 😭 and i'm getting the feeling youre mentioning w swf now because i literally always look forward to tuesdays just for the next ep HJDHJDS also i am dumb what are no-airs HJDHJDHHD and ur not alone tbh <3 i have also been super forgetful lately and that is not like me fdhjdfjhdfhjdfhj we're rotting in this hellsite ig

love bullying him i just wanna know how he'd react if he gets upset <3 i dont think we've ever seen angry josh and i wanna make him angry sm HSDHJSDJ im glossing over dino lip piercing to directly go over hOSHI EYEBROW SLIT BC HELLO??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ive never really liked eyebrow slits but he makes them look so- i want him to hurt me HJDSHJDHJDS ALSO THE LATEST SET OF PHOTOS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD they're giving me what i've been asking for i love being here sm <3 soonyoung's so chummy w everyone have u seen his photos w jihoon last night 😭 he's literally tamed the actual tiger icb this. and no oh my god i do not Know what Collarbone Jeonghan is i have erased him from my memories thank u

HDSHDSJDSHJDS the ex-directioner is so funny to me 😭 i think we have all been there one way or another <3 and ofc omg <3 i'm glad my core svt memories make u happy HSDJHJDFHJHJDSF

they literally said escapism hELP ME 😭😭😭😭😭 i think they're also just workaholics in general. i would be too if i actually enjoyed what i did for a living 😭 and are we even gonna get tours in the near future.... this is so sad i havent even seen them irl </3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG that's terrible, i hope u guys were okay though :/ AND NOT THE JOSH SPARKLER FDDHJFHDFHJFDHFDH now i have to think about him oh my god i think i passed out a little when eyebrow piercing josh came on screen and just full on blacked out when the match scene came on tbh 😭 JKSDJKDSKDS ITS LIKE THE PANDEMIC!!!!!!! WE WILL RMB!!!!!!!!!

ALSOO NOOO OMG i dont feel uncomf at all and u should also tell me if i do make u feel so <3 thank u for even mentioning that!! also love that they're Doing It All for us we dont even have to go out to touch grass anymore HJDSHJSDJ i've actually been v happy w uni omg!! just that i often feel stressed bc they give us sm things to do </3 thank u for ur kind words!!

that's the price of being an adult JDJSJKD now we gotta think of things like.. idk the effects of rain 😭😭😭 i used to even love it when it flooded as a kid HJDSHJSDHJ now i get anxious too!! i love all kinds of rain though so i wont mind JKKSDKJSDKJD just that other people might be affected </3 wish i had my own rain cloud on some kind of leash lmao. ALSO IF I DRINK WATER EVERY TIME I HEAR DINO LAUGH FDHFDHJDFHD gonna be bloated but hydrated af ngl

oh my gOD YOU WERE HERE SINCE 2012???? we're literally sick bestie <3 i genuinely think tumblr has changed something fundamental in me and my way of thinking has not been The Same as idk.. regular people ig JDSHJSDHJSD THE OFFLINE PEOPLE!! smth about tumblr is so <3 sick but also i love this hellsite so 😗 AND NOOO NOT THE MEMES FDHDFHJDF its my broken sense of humor and inability to convey emotions properly HHSDHJDSHJ

BUNNY HEADBAND DINO?????????????????????????????????????? honestly he'd bring me more harm than protection i'll say that much 😭

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that genuinely made me feel so warm & fuzzy, i always look forward to your messages too <3 <3 <3 i hope u always have good days u deserve it for being such a sweetheart

WAIT HELLO???????????????????????? YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG THEN 😭😭😭😭😭 and im so impressed you didnt get weeded out ngl HFDHJFDHJFD icb you've been witnessing me going more ill everyday <3 ur a soldier

and u are partially correct abt mingyu & jh <3 at least during the time JSDJDSJKSDJK i think i've been desensitized to mingyu now but i still love him sm <3 he's just so cute and cutesy boys kinda infuriate me in an affectionate way so HJSDHJDSHJDSH

[eggsyarchived]

If you’d like, how about talking some about Eggsy and his feelings towards his father

icb ur hitting me with the emotions .  okay so like.  okay like so.

Lee Unwin died when Eggsy was 5 years old  (  6 years old ?  guys what do I say in my threads ?  akjfhskajf  )  -----------  so like. Eggsy doesn't have many memories with his father  ??  he vaguely remembers being taken to the park , kicking a ball around , or even small snapshots of what his father was like  --  smiles and comfort and masculinity and strength and a security they took for granted.

now at 24 , Eggsy's kinda   ...   trying to fill his dad's boots , I guess  ??  like he only has memory to go by  --  whether it's his mother's , or Harry's , or Merlin's.   Eggsy knows that he'll never  TRULY  understand what his father was like because memories are fragile , subjective things.  they paint a picture of Lee Unwin , and in each picture , the man is perfect.  flawless.  it's natural.   Lee is Eggsy's hero , his role model , his best friend. Lee Unwin has never done anything wrong in his life ever.

when he was younger Eggsy used to bond with his father by keeping hold of his possessions.  he listened to rap music because Lee listened to it , and then actually developed his own love for it.  his first hoodie was actually an oversized garment that belonged to Lee.  and ofc , as his father gave him the nickname , Eggsy was determined to keep it.

Eggsy holds nothing but love and admiration for his father , though when he was younger there was a lot of pent-up frustration at the cause of Lee's death.  Michelle always said that Lee was with the army and he died overseas , but there were plenty of holes in that story , and it angered Eggsy , sometimes. I guess meeting Harry also gave him that closure , helped him understand  FURTHER  how great his father was  --  something never doubted , but enhanced through kingsman.

Eggsy works hard to be close to his father , almost everyday.  Lee's been the greatest influence on Eggsy  --  and without even being there , physically , for him.

[lordsicheng]

Summertime Madness: Pt. 4

Park Woojin x OC

genre: fluff, angst

summary: what happens when a young, bad boy freshman falls in love with a coldhearted senior? will fate run its course? or will it send both of them into an emotional roller coaster ride that makes them realize the true meaning of love, honesty, and trust?

A/n: icb this is gonna be five parts because. yes

Woojin clasped his hands together and rested them on the table while waiting for your arrival inside a cafe, one foot tapping impatiently as he looked around to see any sign of you. He scratched the side of his head lightly while checking his phone, waiting for your text. You didn’t really bother on replying him, honestly, and just arrived near where he was waiting.

You only took a deep breath and started walking to the café he texted you about, not wanting to go inside either. Once you got there, you looked by the glass window at the entrance and saw him tap his fingers on the table whilst his phone was on the other hand. Shaking your head, you decided to just go inside after a few minutes since you felt bad for making him wait a while. His face lit up the moment he saw you and immediately stood up and waved, you only able to give a cynical smile as you walked over to the table where he was, sitting right across him

“Sorry, I didn’t really know this café or anything so I got lost quite a bit.” you sighed

“You should have texted me, then.” he chuckled and shook his head

“I appreciate that. Anyways, why did you want to see me?” you crossed your arms

“I just wanted to spend time with you. Alone.” he smiled, making you look at him perplexed

“Alone?” you asked, voice sounding confused as ever

“See, I thought of something while on the way home a few days ago from the beach. Give me a chance. Three days is all I need to show you I can be the man for you. And if I win, I get your heart. If I lose, then I’ll let you go.” he smirked, sounding cocky as you realized he actually really was serious

“Woojin, what do you really want?” you looked at him with irritation written all over your face

“Your heart.” he chuckled again

“Woojin.” you scrunched your face

“Fine, I just want to show you that I can change for you. Like I said, I like you a lot. And I don’t lose.” he crossed his arms and looked away

“But what if you lose?” you raised your brows, lips forming a small smirk

“Then forget everything happened that night.” he said firmly, slowly turning his head to look at you

“First of all, Woojin, I am a senior. If people found out, especially my friends, that I went out with a junior, they’re probably not gonna handle it well.” you rubbed your temple with one of your hands, slightly shaking your head

“I can show that you can depend on me, then. Like I said, I only need three days. Once it’s over and you don’t ever feel anything for me, then we can forget this ever happened.” he offered, slowly reaching out his hand. You only looked at his hand and to his eyes, him giving you a small smile before you darted to his hand again and slowly grabbed it

“Deal.”

-

You had to accept the offer since you just wanted to get Woojin off of your tail. You even wondered why he would fall for a cold and often irritable person like you. You only met him a few days ago and he acts as if he has known you for years. This kind of put you off, but you didn’t really have a choice.

You just stood outside a convenience store and drank a carton of banana milk, waiting for Woojin to get out. You thought, why did he bring you there in the first place? You just wanted to go for a walk with him, for the least, just to satisfy him from his want of dating you, which you knew would never happen.

“Hey, sorry I took so long. Here.” he handed over a pack of croissants, confusing you

“What’s this for?” you said as you grabbed the pack

“Let’s hang out and walk while we eat. It’s still pretty early to even see food carts here, so this can suffice for the while until we get to the park. Will it?” he shrugged, you suddenly chuckling and shaking your head

“Woojin, I can buy food for myself. But thanks.” you sighed and walked away to the direction of the park, confusing him as he followed you and slightly ran to your side

“So, what’s your idea of a perfect date?” he asked, putting his hands in his pockets and looking around the block

“Mhmm…” you mumbled as you sipped a bit of your drink before continuing

“I guess, for the most part, I like dates at home. I’m pretty much a homebuddy.” you shrugged

“But what about outside dates?” he looked at you

“Eh, doesn’t really matter. I let the other person choose.” you shrugged again, confusing him even more

“Well, we can just sit by the riverside for today? I didn’t really prepare much…” he pouted, looking down to his feet as you both walked slowly

“You didn’t really have to prepare. Like I said, I’m only giving you three days.” you rolled your eyes, turning your head to him as he looked a bit nervous

“How many times have you dated in the past?” you asked as you turned your head to the other side and looked away

“Does that include the number of times I dated two people at the same time or…” he mumbled, making you scrunch your face and chuckle

“I guess.” you shrugged

“Three times.” he admitted, looking at you

“Out of the three times that you’ve dated, have you ever fallen in love with any of them?” you smirked

“Is this a truth or dare kind of game?” he chuckled, making you look at him with a smile

“Just answer the question.” you grinned

“I can’t say yet.” he sighed

“Why not?” you furrowed your brows

“Because I don’t want to.” he put out his tongue out and walked away, you only able to stand and look at him from behind

“He’s weird.” you mumbled while drinking your beverage and slowly followed him an

You both got to a small park after a few minutes, sitting on a bench by the playground. He just kept looking at you the whole time and it often made you feel awkward, so to stop this you decided on a plan on what to do for the rest of the ‘date’

“Okay, I thought of something.” you said as you turned to look at him, he only raising a brow with a mischievous smirk

“Let’s make this day as a ‘getting to know each other’ stage. Every question you ask me, I’ll answer, unless they’re too personal. I’ll do the same to you so we can be even.” you smiled and crossed your arms, his curiosity in sparks

“Fine. When do we start?” he chuckled

“Now. You go first.” you grinned

“Hm, alright. Most rebellious thing you’ve ever done?” he nodded

“Not so rebellious, but probably once I snuck out at night and came back home at 3am.” you shook your head

“My turn. How come you’re drinking at a prohibited age?” you tilted your head

“Nothing personal. It started when I hung out with Daniel last year, and everything went off. I became that resident bad boy.” he laughed, making you raise your brow

“Bad boy?” you asked

“Am I not bad enough for you, then?” he rolled his eyes

“You’re probably bad because of something that happened in the past.” you said in a stern voice, earning a half hearted chuckle from him and making him look to the other side

“Ask me another question.” you said and smiled

“Do you still love Jaehwan?” he turned and looked at you again

“I can’t answer that.” you furrowed your brows

“Why not?” he crossed his arms

“Because I don’t want to.” you rolled your eyes, earning a chuckle from him and becoming silent

“Do you wanna go get something to eat nearby?” he grinned

“Okay.” you nodded as you both stood up and left

The rest of the day just went on with you and Woojin throwing each other questions, whether it be about each other or even the most random ones. You got to know Woojin a little bit more, and you thought he wasn’t that bad of a person. But you knew that it would probably not be possible for you to like him the way he does for you, because you promised on focusing on yourself first. Before you knew it, you day was to end. He walked you all the way to your front porch, you turning to look at him before you opened the front door

“Thanks. And, I kind of had a good time.” you smiled

“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” he shrugged

“See you.” you nodded and turned to open the door and went inside, Woojin leaving once you opened the door, not able to hide his smile as he left

You somehow couldn’t stop smiling, from getting to know Woojin until he dropped you off home. You laid on your bed and checked your phone after it vibrated, Woojin texting you that he had a great time. You suddenly giggled and covered your mouth in case your parents would hear, replying you had a great time too.

“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.” he texted after your reply, you not able to reply and falling asleep

-

“Wait, how do you aim for the middle?” you scrunched your face as you looked at the dart board

“Focus on nowhere else but the middle. That easy.” he chuckled, giving you a few darts

“Obviously. But, is there some sort of a trick?” you looked at him confusedly

“Here.” he grabbed your hand and held it with a dart, helping you focus on getting to the middle. You suddenly felt weird as he held your hand, trying to shrug it off as he was trying to only help you out

“Got it?” he looked at you, realizing he was trying to explain to you but you didn’t listen

“Y-yeah, got it.” you nodded and just turned and looked at the dart board, throwing the dart and not being able to aim for the middle

“Did you even listen to me?” Woojin crossed his arms, and you just shrugged

“Here.” he swiftly threw the dart and was able to get to the middle, making you roll your eyes in jealousy

“Let’s just go do something else.” you walked away, Woojin sighing and chuckling to himself as he followed you and walked out of the arcade

“What do you want to do?” Woojin called out as he ran his way to your side, you eyeing a certain ride from afar. Woojin looked at what you were looking at and slowly shook his head

“No… No way! No… y/n….” he mumbled

“Can’t keep up?” you chuckled as you ran towards the ride, Woojin clicking his tongue and shaking his head as he slowly followed you again

You ran and immediately bought two tickets for the bungee jump ride, Woojin’s heart racing as he saw how high up it would go. You turned and grinned, making him smile back sarcastically before turning away and widening his eyes in fear. Once they opened the gates for the ride, you grabbed Woojin by the arm and immediately getting seats for both of you. As the attendants helped you out with your safety belts, Woojin kept shaking and looking down, making you laugh while looking at him

“And I thought you were fearless for a bad boy?” you raised a brow

“I’m not scared.” he took a deep breath

“Hmm?” you smirked as if you didn’t hear him the first time

“I’m not scared!” he snapped, making you laugh even more

“We’ll see.” you rolled your eyes

Once the ride brought everyone up slowly, you felt your heart rise up in excitement while Woojin just closed his eyes, screaming once he saw he was already so high up

“The ride hasn’t even gotten to its point yet!” you yelled

“I don’t care! Let me down!” he yelled back

The ride suddenly dropped everyone down, making you all scream and Woojin grab your hand. You laughed so hard that you even forgot you were in a ride so scary because of this and just looked at him wail. Once the ride was over, you smiled at your satisfaction of getting on one of your favorite rides, Woojin’s face looking as if his soul had left his body. You grabbed his hand out of the ride and walked out of the area for other people’s turn, still laughing at Woojin’s expression

After a while, Woojin saw a few couples ride bikes around the area, looking at you with a smile

“Want to ride a bike?” he grinned

He paid for the bike ride and sat in front, you sitting behind him as he started to cycle around the area, passing through the amusement park to the gardens. He tried scaring you by driving side to side, earning a slap on the back that kind of startled him

“Stop it!” you laughed, and he just laughed back as he drove the bike around the park, feeling the cooling breeze flow through your hair and definitely loving that feeling

-

The rest of the day was just you and him hanging out at the park and going around trying to look for fun things to do, and you both decided to go to this beautiful restaurant at a rooftop within the Hongdae area, where you both just stared up to the stars and the night view of the city

“Again, I had fun.” you smiled, looking at the view

“Me too.” he admitted

Almost half of the time was just silence, both of you just looking at numerous views around the area and often stealing glances of each other, Woojin smiling the moment he saw your eyes sparkle while looking at the sky

“Hey, remember when you asked me if I have ever fallen in love?” he said as he looked at the city

“Yeah?” you looked at him in curiosity

“I haven’t.” he admitted, sighing as he looked down. You smiled and looked down as well, nodding

“Remember when you asked me if I still loved Jaehwan?” you puffed your cheeks, his attention diverting to you as he looked at you once more

“I don’t know if I still do, honestly.” you confessed, feeling the cold air creep up, Woojin only able to nod and look at you as you knew tomorrow was going to be the day you have to decide on whether Woojin was worth your heart

-

You sat on the sofa and tapped your foot on the floor, all alone at home since your parents went out that night. You wanted to sleep, but there were a lot of things in your mind and you wanted to clear up everything because you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep properly if you kept thinking of many things. You heard the doorbell ring and looked at the front door, wondering why would anyone come to your doorstep at 10pm. You stood up and opened the door, only to get shocked the moment you saw the person who decided to pay you a visit

“What are you doing here?” you raised a brow and crossed your arms, voice obviously hinting irritation. He only looked at you with serious eyes as you whiffed the scent of alcohol from him

“What do you want?” you snapped

“You.” he sighed, letting himself inside and closing the door behind him as he slowly moved closer to you

“I never asked you to get inside, please leave.” you looked at him with a serious expression, suddenly having the urge to push him

He grabbed your face and immediately kissed you, your eyes enlarging as you weren’t expecting him to be so forceful. You tried to push him away but he suddenly felt too strong, slowly pushing you to the wall as he kept kissing you impatiently, your muffling scream being stopped by his lips. You gave your all and pushed him once more and he stopped, you slapping him hard across the face and him only able to look to the side

“You’re disgusting.” you whispered faintly, eyes becoming watery as he slowly turned to look at you

“Don’t you love me anymore?” he chuckled slowly, making you appalled by his behavior

“Jaehwan, leave.” you grunted

“You still love me.” he smirked, obviously very drunk

“Leave!” you shouted, making him shake his head, still chuckling as he slowly walked out of your home

You just stood there as you saw him leave, slowly crouching down as you put your hands on your face, disgusted by his behavior and feeling like it was all your fault he acted this way. You felt so messed up, but felt so bad at the same time for ever making him this way. He was different; fun, lively, always happy. But that night, he looked like a mess.

And you definitely knew that it was because of you.

[chaekkung]

o wormie? u? in a lot of love? perfect i don't think i've asked u yet but (if ur free) could u talk about why/how you started loving changkyun/hyungwon (or both :-D) ?? pls ramble as much as u like!! read more exists 4 a reason and . i love reading ppl b soft and in love it's cute!!!!! i love u have a good night/day ! 💛💛

o holy shit thats a lot ok im gonna write about changkyun since i Havent... :( and ill copy pasta one of my hyungwon essays for u to read!!!! the changkyun will be under it :^) this is gonna be Super Long im sorrie in advance LMAO BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!! :D (also theres prob gonna be a lot of typos bc im Dumb but.. bear w/ me)

mister chae:

honestly i don’t even know where to start?? uhh i guess with his looks first since,, this is describing or smthing,, anyways yeah hyungwon is just… fucking beautiful. he has the most handsome and visually attractive face ive ever seen in my whole life??? and i’ve stanned a lot of groups in my past before but hyungwon is honestly one of the best looking man i know :( im not even being biased,,, anyways yeah there’s that. and he’s like naturally a model, i mean he can legit wear anything and do anything and he’ll look like he’s posing for a high end magazine, not surprised if he’s been modeling since he was like, born. also he has the most beautiful and endearing smile and laugh…. when he smiles he really goes from :o -> :D like!! please!! you are too fucking cute,,, :((( he really lights up the entire room solely w his smile im jusT?? wow?? like when his smile lines by the sides of his nose down to the corner of his mouth come out i just,,,, really… need 2 calm my heart. he has like the closed mouth wide smile, and the straight up whole face smile!! and i.. love both.. so much,,, and yeah anyways his lips are like the first thing people notice about him and big mood?? they’re so plump and … kissable.. and soft.. but my favorite feature on him are his eyes tbh…. idk he has really beautiful eyes? idk how to describe it but like, they’re so…. kind? and bright.. it’s just i want to look into them all day long and im just… so in love with his eyes. like,, they really hold all the stars in my universe wtf!!!  :( OH AND I DONT TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH BUT…. HIS EARS ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WTF I WANT A MOLD OF HIS EARS ON MY DESK,,, idk about others but i personally find his right ear cute as fuck?? like the extra folds in his ears.. i would d*e for them………. godksj why is everything about him so cute i just?? want to kno …

ok now im going to talk about him!!! so his personality, is what i really fell in love with,, (god this all sounds so.. cliche. but it’s.. true, also unrelated but every time someone talked about,, love cliches and shit i was always like ‘sounds fake’ but???? after hyungwon i really?? believe in all of that..) if i had to use one word to describe him it would just be ‘kind’… like he!!! is!!! the king of being considerate and compassionate and wonderful and he’s just a really good person.. :( he’s the one you can always count on and lean on. he’d always be on your side and makes you feel safe and comforted,, like he’s really full of love??? even the members said he’s a really good listener and they chose as him as someone they go to when they’re feeling down because he makes them feel better about the situation (god, i wish they were me,,) and he has the most beautiful heart… like, he’s been wearing the Sewol bracelet since as long as we’ve known and he has never missed a day. you can always see it during fansigns, vlives, whenever he’s out, and he even wore it when he was modeling under his clothes… :(( he went from the charm, to the rope bracelet thing, to the clip on and now he’s wearing the wristband!! :(((((( he says he will always wear it to remember the incident, and he has been for over two years… he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart and not to show anyone… he said he felt so helpless during the time, and watching every thing unfold before him, and has worn the yellow bracelet which symbolizes ‘hope’ :((((((((( god,, real emo hours,,, i love my angel so much wtf !!! ok next,, (sjdhaj at this point im going to write a whole novel wtf but im gonna,, stop soon i swear .) hyungwon is really fucking hardworking and ?? he’s so dedicated to his career and making sure that we, his fans, are always satisfied and proud to stan him.. like he’s constantly saying he will work hard to show us something better next time, that he’s not going to stop trying to improve himself. every single stage he puts his all into it, but he pushes himself even more to show us a even better one. he’s always worried and thinking about his career as an actor and a singer. he wants to promote the group in any way that he can, whether it’s through modeling or acting :(( what a King… he’s… really always striving to do the Best and he won’t ever settle or be content with it because he’s just naturally an ambitious and super hard working person… like. he’s so dedicated to what he does, no matter what it is. uhh one more thing he’s actually a really sentimental guy!! not like in a bad way, but in the best possible way. he’s really sweet, and gentle.. (he would be the Best Boyfriend,,, im just saying..) he’s the type to give handwritten letters… and surprise gifts.. (he said so!!) he said he cant cook but he want to cook for his gf he will try his best and it will be full of love… god.. i wish that were me. he’s the type to keep quiet… but take silently notes on what someone likes/dislikes, and will reveal it unexpectedly with a gift or when he says something and it will! make the other person! so happy! :((( he doesn’t put his emotions Out There, he’s not rlly good at it,, but he honestly has so much love in him,,, he tries his best to show it ok!! it’s,, good effort it’s so cute when he does… ah.. pls.,,, he’s always like ah, i don’t know if i can properly show my appreciation and sincerity for you guys, but i hope you guys know how thankful i am for you. LASDHFJAK GOFD,S,,,, IM FUCKIGN EMO THINKGIN ABOTU IT AGAIN… HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT.. :(( HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND I REALLY HOPE ALL MY LOVE FOR HIM CAN COUNT AS SOMETHING FOR IT ALL.. UGHFJASHJSAALSJF yeah ok let me,,, stop… sorry to everyone who has to scroll past this LMAo,, :(

ok i was gonna stop but i forgot to mention how he’s so fucking talented!! i mean this boy does it ALL. the whole package or w/e. god,, i love my whole ass talented man wtf! he sings, dances, choreographs, models, acts, DJs, is multilingual, and a world class poet,, cmon. ANYWAYS he excels in all those areas nd,, no argument there.. his voice is angelic as fuck ,, just like his personality.. and his dancing.. god,,, like . his dancing his so on point, his every move,, and it’s so.. fluid.. and natural. and it’s harder for tall people to dance esp ones w like long ass limbs (hyungwon.,,) but he still looks fucking amazing and pulls everything off so perfectly????? gofdj,,, can he like . Stop being so…. perfect.. and lovable… :((( he just puts so much passion into everything he does!!! and his heart is pure Gold ,, i just.. love him,,,,,,, everything about him …. ok lmao let me stop !!! if u actually read all this wtf,, im sorry nd i’d die for u

mister changkyun:

okay wtf icb i havent talked about changkyun that much on my blog.... anyways this is gonna be a mess and unorganized bc im Dumb but here goes,,, ok we can start from the beginning kinda,, so originally wonho was my #2 bias and then mh i think like i love changkyun but i wasnt like IN LOVE you kno?? honestly i started to notice him more firstable bc he and hyungwon are so frigging cute together?? i just couldnt ignore it and next thing u know im IN Love w my lil koala :(((( hes sO CUTE ..... LIKE.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I REALLY JUST WANNA BE AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME!! his sense of humor and his personality in general is so?? positive?? and fun??!!! like i would spend every second of the rest of my life w him... and he’s so cheesy as we all know ,, and i find it so cute but also he makes me so stressed bc he’s so mushy aijsdgfhdjs but he rlly Love us wtf.. and hes so funnie... he makes me smile and laugh all the time :( and he genuinely Loves every single one of his fans so much... he’s so sweet with them and he makes them feel so loved and special, and like they’re the only person in the world at that moment :(((( this boy gives so much love and i only want to give him a million times more back... 

HIS LAUGH.. OK.. HIS LAUGH!!!!!! MAKES MY HEART MELT LIKE LAVA WTF SJDFUDJS HES SOSOSOSOOS CUTE WHEN HE LUAHGS HE LIKE.. PUTS HIS ALL INTO IT.. IT SLIKE HAHAHAHA FR... PLS,,, ESP WHEN HE GOES CRAZY AND ALSO STARTS CLAPPING,... LMAO MOOD.. HE SOS CUTIEJUJIiajsdfudj and WHEN HE SMILES THE CLOSED-MOUTH-WIDE-SMILE AND HIS CUTE ASS DIMPLES COME OUT.... HOTLT FUCKIDUFD THERE GOES MY SOUL AND GALLONS OF HEART NUT... ITS THE CUTEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD AHHH HIS DIMPLE ARE ADORABLE AND HIS CHEEKS!! I WANT TO SQUISH!!! i wanna . reside in his dimples. build a home there and alll....... omg.. :’(( every time he takes a selfie or smthing i rlly Lose it. every single selfie is his Best selfie. wtf.... king of angles fr... AND KING OF FOOT SELFIES TOOOSJFDK LLISTEN AGAIN HES SOSOOSOSO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING OKAY!!! HES REALLY A VISUAL?? IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE IT BUT LIEK THIS BOY IS F  I  N E ..... HIS FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHhhhHHHHH  AND HE NEVER HAD A BAD ERA.. HE WAS HOT SINCE NO MERCY WTF !!!!! UGJFSUJDJS I HOPE HE KNOWS HES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! :( ANF HIS BEAUTIFUL NOSE,, AND HIS EYES!!!! OGM!!,,, GOD AND HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS.... HSI JAWLINE,,, BITUCSHJ,,,

OK HES SO LOVABLE IN EVERY DAMN WAY LIKE,, he’s Weird but its a cute Weird he’s so special omg there’s really no one else like him :(((( like...... he’s a treasure fr... he’s So Many things and once its hard to pinpoint his personality but like ??? i love it so much?? he’s a mystery and i dont know what he’s thinking like most of the time but.. i rlly love him omgdsj he’s so special :’( like fr !!! everyone LOVES him!! :(( most people wouldnt see him as the maknae if they dont Know,, but like he really is... and he’s really mx’s babie :-( they spoil him so much and love the heck out of him,,, he’s really the most loved maknae out there wtf... honestly... i love family... they really Adore him so much ugh what a big ass fking MOOD! :((

AND HIS VOICE!!!!! THE VOICE OF THE HEAVENS AND ANGELS AND HAPPINESS AND ALSO NUT!!!! WTF!! HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY AJSDFGDUJIS LIKE... PLEASE... NARRATE THE BIBLE TO ME HOLY FUCKSIFDU, YOU KNOW HIS VOICE ONLY V LIVE... HOLY SHIT MY EARS NUTTED SO HARD omg.... i just wanna listen to his voice All Day.... and dont even get mee started on his rapping .... he starts his bar and sets me on fucking fire w half a syllable . and did i mentioned he fucking amazing at rapping yeah . he Does That. and hes so charismatic, especially on stage... :((( ugh omgfisjd i wanan d*e when hes being so h*t on screen fucksdf,,, and like . his mixtapes he’s working on... king... pleas.e.... End me. just end me with ur talented ass wtf... 

SIJDFJD I NEED TO SHUT UP BUT LISTEN IM SO PROUD OF HOW MUCH HE’S GROWN IN THE PAST 2+ YEARS... LIKE HE’S COME SO FUCKING FAR!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!! GOD,,,,, I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO DAMN MUCHSJIDFUDS HE MAKES MY HEART CONTINUE BEATING... THATS REALLY MY BABIE !! MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE!!! :(((((((((((

ok let me stop thank u,,, also... if anyone actually made it here hi wow uh ur great ily wtf :--(

[minhyukie]

i cant believe ive been a monbebe for almost a full year now!!! somewhere around 10 or 11 months and it all feels a little unreal? they make me so So happy n i really never thought itd get so far, but they make life a whole lot easier n i just want to tell them how wonderful they are n how theyve done so much for me this past year just by doing what they love!! and it feels so incredible that i get to share their love n love them back and? i dont wanna cry tonight but all i wanna do is love them

this whole message is just a big “me too” :-( icb i’ve been here almost a year.. seeing all the end of the year accomplishments posts have made me so emotional realizing i’ve actually been here for all of it like on one hand i feel like i’ve loved them so much longer but also feels like i just found them yesterday? they’ve helped me so much as well and im so so grateful for everything and that they’re able to influence so many of us like this :-(

love night!! send love about mx!!

[fmdxkit-blog]

setting: august 2006 to present day. warnings: death. word count: 3321 (// icb).

white with hints of grey and purple was all kit saw in his reflection. not too long ago—124 days, to be exact (but who was really counting?), he saw peaches, browns, flecks of pink, amber, blue, yellow. so many colors; he took them for granted, believing they were eternal. now, flooded in the lifeless hue of white (which wasn’t even a bonafide color, as his friend told him), kit felt dead. there was no life around him. the plants sat on the window sill were fake, devoid of mother nature’s gift (or curse).

he pulled a maroon beanie over his head, adding a splash of color to the canvas shade of his skin. the striking contrast brought the magentas out on his cheeks, but kit still looked as sickly as ever. bracing a knit cardigan around his slim, fragile body—his teacher gifted him (out of pity, no less), kit waddled towards the open door of his private hospital room. he asked a nurse to keep it open because he was so tired of hearing nothing but the voices tick away in his head, gnawing, scratching. kit would go mad if the silence persisted.

he stalked the corridor, rolling the IV pole next to him. it was the wilson to his—whatever tom hanks’ name was in that movie he was stranded on an island and his only friend for seven years was a bloodied volleyball. the IV pole was his only friend at the hospital.

kit strolled to where the other children with cancer usually gathered as the nurses tried to serenade them by singing kumbaya, as if that made the cancer nonexistent. he scoffed upon entering the room, immediately regretting the idea of having some sort of human interaction that day. before he could vanish back into the white surroundings, he caught a nurse’s periphery, and she waved him to join. he scanned the room. it was less dead than the rest of the ward. colourful, connected mats shielded the floor as toys laid scattered about: blocks, rag dolls, toy trucks, action figures. the whole shebang. the children were in a circle, surrounding a nurse with a ukulele.

begrudgingly, kit entered the playroom but lingered behind everyone else. he didn’t like drawing too much attention, nor was he in the mood to be singing songs, pretending he wasn’t confined out of his will because of an ailment 21st doctors still couldn’t solve. at eleven, he was already so much of a cynic. most eleven year olds were waiting for hogwarts letters (as if). he was losing his childhood day by day at an alarming rate.

“hey, i’ve never seen you around here.” soft but distinct. the voice crawled into kit’s personal bubble but he turned his head but saw no one. he then glanced down, blinking at a girl in a wheelchair.

“me too,” kit contested, eyeing the stranger. she wore the drab hospital gown and cliched beanie over her head too. it wouldn’t take a brain genius to realize she was a cancer patient just like him. “leukemia?”

“leukemia.” the girl nodded, lips twisted to a subtle pucker. “i’m elena, by the way. nice seeing someone else my age here.”

“kit.”

“kit? like kit-kat but without the kat? is your sister named kat?” elena giggled, tossing jokes as if they were funny. well, they were but kit wasn’t easily humored when his mood was at an all-time low.

“i don’t have a sister. i have a brother and his name is henry,” he answered diplomatically.

“you do know your parents named you after chocolate bars, right?”

kit scowled, annoyed by the wisecracks. “who asked you? why are you even talking to me? we’re not friends.”

elena fiddled with the hem of her blue hospital the gown. “how else do we make friends if we don’t talk, kit-kat?”

“first of all, i don’t want any friends.” kit resented anything or anyone who even vaguely reminded him he had cancer and was practically perched on death’s doormat. befriending a fellow patient was a definite no. “second of all, don’t call me that.” irritated, kit clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and vacated the room. he was done with the crappy music and interrogation—none of which he signed up for, nor appreciated.

“hey, wait!” elena called behind him.

kit tossed her a glare over his shoulders, grimacing as her frail arms spun the large wheels of the wheelchair. “why are you following me? don’t follow me.” when he reached his room, he planned to slam the door in her face but a tire prevented him from doing so.

“i’m sorry i called you kit-kat. i won’t call you that again. i’ve been here for months and i haven’t spoken to anyone my age. i’m tired of listening to toddlers rave about dora the explorer. and frankly, i can’t look at them because i feel so bad. babies shouldn’t have to go through this,” elena emphasized gravelly, voice on the verge of breaking after an emotional and sincere speech.

kit was taken back by the burst of honesty and also by how much he related to her words. they struck a chord, so he opened the door.

“no one deserves to go through this,” he corrected passionately yet grimly, his jaw clenched so tight as his adam’s apple bobbed.

elena mustered a small, relieved smile. “let’s start again.” courteously, she extended a hand. “i’m elena. nice meeting you!”

kit stared at the pink palm, contemplating on accepting the offer of friendship. he had plenty of friends outside of the hospital but no one on the inside. he was so exhausted of pitied looks, maybe having someone on the same boat wouldn’t be a constant remainder of his situation but a person to relate to. to talk to. to understand him and his fears.

he shook elena’s hand, watching her smile overwhelm her freckled face. kit was stunned by the radiance; he was almost persuaded to mirror the expression but slickly caught himself and dropped the handshake a fraction later.

“and i’m kit. nice meeting you too.”

—

propped up by a number of heavy duty pillows, kit stared lifelessly at the television screen. old reruns of sitcoms from before he was born played: a group of elderly women spewing comedic jokes, a nanny with a nasally accent provided laughter, and a prince from bel-air but kit doesn’t bat an eyelash. his expression is forlorn, eyes an empty abyss of dull, mousy brown.

there was a knock on his door but he forewent a reply, wanting to have some alone time. then there was another until the knocking was constant, ringing in his ears. he snapped his head at the door as soon as it opened without a verbal permission of sorts.

“get out,” he hissed, voice eerily too deep for a boy of eleven.

elena stepped in, no longer bound to a clunky wheelchair. she padded to his bed, ignoring his wishes. “i heard you screaming earlier-“

the pink, swollen skin around kit’s eyes tightened, his jaw clenching as venom laced his words. “i was not screaming.”

“crying, then.” elena sat herself on the edge of the bed, hands folded on her thighs as she studied his appearance. there was no pity. just curiosity. “you’re not going home anytime soon, huh?”

kit glanced away, hard expression set on the cracks through the blinds. he saw nothing but pretend to be invested in anything else but the truth. the silence answered her questions and elena nodded knowingly.

“i’m glad you’re here.”

“excuse me?” kit grimaced, half disgusted by her confession and half confused. he returned his glare onto her and she refused to meet it, sight set on the floor.

“i’m glad you’re here. we can keep each other company. if you stay at home, who will be there for you? your parents have work and henry has sch-“<\small>

“your logic makes no sense,” he scowled. how could anyone wish for him to stay in some place he detested with every cell of his existence.

“you’ll get better, kit,” elena said wisely, as if she was certain his fate was guaranteed or written in the morning paper she fancied reading. “i know it. i can feel it. just hold on a little longer. the hospital isn’t so bad. the food, though.” in synchronization, they glanced at the tray of food settled on a bedside table. “that can be better.”

it didn’t know whether to groan or laugh but the most natural of chuckles spilled from his lips when he allowed himself the pleasure of loosening up. he was never so high-strung but the ambience of the hospital changed him. chemotherapy and radiation left him wilted, draining his last bits of energy until he was a blackhole, destructive to only himself. a rose, who was once brilliant red, now decaying with no color to its merit.

“finally,” elena grinned, her freckled cheeks pushing her eyes into merry crescents. “a smile. you look better when you smile.”

“you’ve been reading too many romance novels. you need to lay off.” flushed cheeks and heat prickling the tips of his ears, kit cleared his throat to act unaffected. aloof, even.

“what can i say, they take me away.” shutting her eyes, the sunlight peering through the gaps in the blinds settled on her face. the brown, orange, tan specks on her complexion luminescent, matching the radiance of her fiery, orange hair.

kit felt a strange, foreign beat in his chest. he clasped a hand over his heart, worried of yet another side affect of his treatment: he was exhausted of the migraines, the nausea, the vomiting. all he wanted was peace. but the sensation was different. it didn’t feel bad. in fact, it felt oddly calming while encouraging all at once.

he gulped, flickering his gaze anywhere but not on the trigger of the new anomaly.

—

“woah!” elena gaped in awe at the music video kit showed her on the computer once it came to an inevitable and bitter finish. her eyes were glazed, starry and astonished.

“what did i tell you?” kit stood proudly, hands perched on his hips. “cool, right?”

“very cool,” chuckled elena, scenes of the video zipping through her head in rewind. “i can see you doing that.”

bashfully, kit ran his hands over his beanie, adjusting the elastic hem around his pinkish ears. “you think? i don’t know. i can’t really sing, dance or rap.”

“but you can learn!” elena positively quipped, nothing short of belief etched on her façade. “some people are born great and some are taught greatness.”

“did you get that from a book…” kit laughed, resting his weight on the foot of elena’s bed as he pulled the laptop closer, typing in something else into the search engine.

“nope! i thought of it all on my own.”

“três cheesy,” kit pursed his lips, tossing her a teasing glance, eyebrow arched and disappearing under his favorite maroon beanie.

“oh, you like my cheesy butt!” elena giggled, unknowingly hitting the nail squarely on the head.

if kit wasn’t used to the cheeky lingo, the smile on his face would have faltered and the truth would have been revealed. he couldn’t have that. he watched many shows and learned feelings between good friends ultimately ruined the friendship. no, he would do no such thing.

—

“elena!” kit shouted as soon as he raced into elena’s hospital room. she laid in her bed, head in the clouds per usual. knowing her like the back of his hand (better, even), kit could tell she was restlessly daydreaming by the foggy disposition in her hazel eyes.

“hey, kit,” she greeted less enthusiastically, tired from treatment. warmth still graced her features, pursing her lips to a sincere smile. “you came just in time.”

no longer bound to the four walls of the hospital, kit would drop by weekly to pay elena a visit. he never missed a date; he was always on time. never tardy.

“i have great news to tell you!” the grin on kit’s face was so broad, so spectacular that it threatened the sun’s intensity and power. happiness was alive and well, setting fireworks in every nook and cranny of his body. “i’m cancer free!”

elena couldn’t hide the joy on her face. the tears welled up in her eyes, clouding her vision. her sobs were incoherent but kit understood every word.

“i’m so happy for you! i knew you could do it! didn’t i tell you you’ll get better?”

kit found a box of tissues stowed away in elena’s hospital bag. he ripped open the seal and plucked a few sheets for her to dry her damp face. the sincerity of her reaction touched kit immensely. he felt like bursting into tears too but refrained from doing so.

“yeah, you did.” he grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers. “and you’ll get better too. and when you do, we’ll go to korea and you can cheer me on at my audition!”

elena grinned flawlessly, flooding kit with an emotion he didn’t know existed prior. “i’ll be your first and biggest fan!”

—

“are you sure we won’t get in trouble for this?” the squeaky wheel of the wheelchair and the pads of kit’s steps are the only sounds they hear in the midst of their privy conversation.

“certain,” kit fibbed. a little while lie never hurt anyone. partially, it was honest. she wouldn’t get in trouble; but he would. 

he pushed the rooftop door open with his back, wheeling elena out delicately. the wind blew through them. that winter night was courteous. not too cold. kit’s winter coat around elena kept her cozy.

“wow,” elena marvelled, eyes everywhere on the starry sky. the white, silver specks glistened. “the view is better up here.”

“beats that crappy room you’re in,” kit retorted, rolling her close enough to the edge to see the roads and the few cars driving down them, speeding wistfully into the darkness.

“it’s not crappy,” defended elena. she loved that room of hers. practically, it was home. she spent more time there than anywhere else. kit hated that.

“nothing beats the outside.” he extended his arms, gesturing at what the world outside a pokey hospital had to offer. “the fresh air. the stars.” kit inhaled deeply, soaking in the chilly breeze before coughing, throat and mouth torrid.

elena shifted her gaze from the twinkling canvas to him, lips forming the fondest of smiles. “you never liked the hospital.”

“why would i?” kit let his arms fall, swinging them by his side. “it’s shit.”

“saved your life, though.”

“and took away many others.”

shaking her head in defeat, elena knew there was no reasoning with kit. he was too stubborn. an argument wasn’t worth it.

“thank you bringing me here. it’s beautiful.” elena craned her neck, admiring the natural wonders of the universe before being enclosed away again.

kit nodded, admiration clear in his crystal eyes. “anything for you.”

—

kit tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder, mindlessly waiting for the rings to cease and a familiar voice to pick up. the only voice kit wanted to hear after a gruelling day of exam reviews. he spun a basketball in his hand, pacing the empty space in front of his bed to pass the time. he was growing progressively restless, hating to stand idle with nothing to do but breathe and exist. he was tired of that mundane lifestyle.

“hey, kit-kat,” echoed elena’s groggy voice.

“hey, were you sleeping? i’m sorry i woke you.” looking at the time on his digital alarm clock, kit mentally shot himself for calling right after her chemotherapy treatment. he should have been more aware of how fatigued elena would be. “i can call back if-“

elena’s heartwarming giggles stopped him, as well as paused his pulse for the most fleeting of moments. time stood still and kit could almost see her, despite the roads between them. he envisioned her lying in her bed, facing the sun that poured through her window (she never liked having her curtains shut). the golden yellow rays dancing across her peaceful face; freckles intricate and hazel eyes shining.

“no, i’m good,” she said but yawned at the end. “so, how was your official last day of school before exams?”

“hated it,” kit sang, tossing the basketball up into the air, then caught it for a repeat. “but once i finish my exam tomorrow, i’ll come visit!”

the first year of high school took a toll on kit’s routine vsitations. club activities prevented him from seeing elena on the usual day—friday, so he went whenever available. the dates were scattered and dwindled into monthly subscriptions. kit hated it. he was going to korea soon and despite planning for elena to come along, the universe had other things in mind for her. ill-fated things.

“i’ll ask for extra jello for you,” elena added, knowing how much kit loved the snack since their lunch-dates in the past.

kit snorted, dropping his weight and bouncing on his mattress, discarding the basketball to properly hold his phone with a secure grip. “i have something in mind for my audition. i want you to hear it before anyone else.”

“ooo!” elena squealed, energy returning to her voice. she’s grown to sound so calm but it was obvious it wasn’t intentional. she was tired. “i can’t wait for this VIP showing of your audition. i feel so lucky!”

“you are lucky,” kit confirmed, foolishly smiling from ear to ear as he thought, i’m luckier. he never told elena how he felt but he had an inkling she knew and returned them. for now, that was enough for him. he could wait for her. she had more important matters to prioritize: getting better, beating cancer. not a walk in the park but kit was there and would always be there for her, supporting her, cheering her on. the day she would be cancer free would be the happiest day of his life, greatly surpassing the day he found out he was miraculously healed.

the time caught his peripheral and kit knew his mum would be calling him down to dinner soon—too soon. “hey, elena, i gotta go-“

“tell your mum, dad and henry i said hi, okay?” 

there was never dread in elena’s voice. only kindness and understanding. she matured wonderfully. well beyond her years.

“i will. i’ll see you tomorrow. goodnight,” kit said quietly, hope wedged between each word, glueing the sentence together.

when all were fast asleep, dreaming lucidly of endless possibilities, kit received a text. the notification fell on deaf ears for kit was lost in the slumber. he saw elena and approached her but she only receded, waving sorrowfully.

kit woke up. tears stained his face. then he checked his phone. 

thank you, kit.

he learned later that morning elena passed away. she went in her sleep. peacefully. without turbulence. no pain. no struggle. she went easily. almost willingly too.

years later, kit continued to ache. some days were agonizing; he heard her laughter in the backstage dressing rooms of music programs, in the audience at a variety appearance, during daytime strolls, in conversations he heard when passed, in his mind when he laid awake in the middle of the night; everywhere except… the club, the bar, anywhere extreme: the top of a building, the edge of a bridge, in conversations with strangers. in those instances, those mere lapses in time, kit forgot, burying the pain under disguises of temporary adrenaline and joy.

but when he did reminisce, the pain and loss was fresh, as if elena left him yesterday and not seven years ago. whoever said time heals all wounds was a liar. a fraud. time had done nothing to his wounds. they festered. they still bled. 

kit bled. 

every day. 

for the love who left him.

[mxnark]

the best version of yourself 

december 31, 2019

mina isn’t the type to feel ashamed of herself. everyone around her new that she was confident and outspoken. whatever she thought of inside her head, there would be a 59% chance she’d say it with a 41% chance she’d keep it to herself just because she had some manners. of course, she had some class by making a bunch of rant posts on her spam rather than on her main instagram or main twitter. some of her thoughts on real life would go on her stan twitter, but she’s tried her best to keep that mainly kpop and movies. but, to be honest, she wouldn’t have made a spam had it not been for her mutuals and her friends in real life. 

this time, however, she felt emotions that she was afraid to tell anyone else. 

she usually watched the gayos on her own, since she was the only one in the house who had an interest in them because her favorite idols were on that show. however, the one she always kept an eye on was mbc’s gayo daejejun because of the amazing stages that the idols would perform. not to mention, it was the gayo with the countdown to the new year. however, this time, she debated if she even wanted to watch it considering that this was the same exact one that she made a video audition for, only to not get in. 

when she saw the post on mbc’s page, she was disappointed, but not surprised. it was bold of her to assume she would ever get the chance compared to the other dancers. when she watched the other entries, she was already beginning to feel insecure. but seeing the announcement only supported her negative feelings. however, one name catches her eye and it’s the main reason why she watches the music show tonight. 

chungha isn’t the only reason why she’s watching this, but she’s the one mina looks forward to seeing the most. it’s weird how almost two years ago, mina became a fan from watching her on the fourth season of the mgas. now, she was watching her as not only a fan, but a friend. it’s only a glow up she can talk about on her spam, but she’s able to use her excitement for her tweets while streaming. 

she makes sure to tweet about her favorite idols and their performances before the awaited dance performance comes. when it begins, she quickly takes out her phone as she patiently waits for her friend to be shown on her screen. she manages to record the 30 seconds of chungha’s dance on her instagram story while whisper-screaming throughout all of it. “ahh!!! kim chungha is so cool!!!! she’s the coolest unnie ever!!!” and a bunch of “wow!”’s and “so cool!”’s. for the group performance, she kept all her excitement on her twitter with a few pictures saved for her spam later on. 

it’s odd. before watching this, she thought she was going to feel an overwhelming amount of jealousy just by seeing chungha for a second. but after the performance ended, she couldn’t help but feel inspired. perhaps it was because of the fact that this wasn’t the first time she’s seen chungha on national television, but mina didn’t feel too upset like she thought she would. what a relief. 

she posts the pictures on her spamsta (spam + finsta) once the countdown for the new year is finished and captions it with her thoughts. after she posted it, she locked her phone, turned off her tv, and went upstairs to go to bed, excited for what was to come in the future. 

notokmina: do you see her??/ that’s the coolest bitch in the world !!!! ever !!!!!

watching her tonight gave me so much motivation tbh. i remember i used to be so… starstruck by her when i first saw her on mga4 and now i know her in real life and we’re friends !!!! i’m so glad she got to audition for this and perform onstage in front of a bunch of idols. she’s so cool!!!! 

i’m gonna work hard with future covers so that i can hopefully be dancing on that same stage!!!!!!!!! it’d be cooler if it was w her!!!! but yeah. hopefully if i work hard enough, i can be on the stage like her (and my cousin and brother if theyre reading this who knows) 

she leaves a comment under her post. 

notokmina: unnie, if ur reading this, hi!!! very proud of u uwu 

… 

january 2nd, 2020

having been on stan twitter since she moved back to korea, she’s gotten to explore the many sides of the website. though she’s primarily a kpop fan account, she also keeps tabs on film twitter. it’s to the point where she even has mutuals who are apart of that community and she frequently talks to them about her favorite movies (recently, it’s been about it 2 because she loves her best boys richie and eddie). so of course, when she asked for movie recommendations on her account, she hoped that said mutuals would see it and give their insight. 

though there were many suggestions, she chose lady bird by the end of it. she knew about the movie years ago, but she never really got around to watching it until now. she’s read mixed reviews, so she was never really able to form a solid opinion on this movie. she told herself not to expect much, since this was a coming-of-age film. but, by the end of it, she found herself in tears. she goes on twitter and writes up a tweet as a response to the movie. 

michi @noplayboy_mp3: film oomfs is it weird to say that i kin w lady bird lol  michi @noplayboy_mp3: no but the film is so good i dont want to drop any spoilers but lady bird is like… so relatable? esp bc im kind of in her situation now.  michi @noplayboy_mp3: icb greta gerwig said “michi has rights”... perhaps i will watch little women when i get the chance

before she’s about to make a tweet about watching midsommar next, she hears her phone vibrate. putting her laptop to the side, she picks up her phone and sees an email from snu. 

dear mina, 

the admissions committee at seoul national university has re-reviewed all aspects of your application in its holistic review process, and you have an updated admissions decision. you may now view your updated admissions decision in your portal.

she gasps. 

as she clicks on the link to her portal and logs in, she was immediately welcomed by the site with a big “CONGRATULATIONS!” and if that wasn’t already obvious enough for her, she looks around to find the little “status: accepted” on her page. she sighs in relief and puts her phone to the side as she lies on her bed. she’s not necessarily excited that she got into a school. even now, she was still questioning if she wanted to go to school to begin with. all she knew was that at this point, she was going somewhere. whether or not this is what she really wanted to do, she at least has an idea of where she’s starting. 

maybe now her mom would stop badgering her. maybe now she can show her that she could do things without her. 

…

“i got accepted into snu today.”

it’s used to start discussion, even though she didn’t really want to talk about it with her. it had to come out somehow because even if she was nervous with how she was going to reply, at least her mom would be aware of it. 

her father was the first to say something about it and mina wants to verbally thank him for speaking before her mom does. “honey, congratulations! i knew you would be able to get into that school.” 

“thank you,” mina says with a small smile before she looks over at her mom to see what she will respond with because it was obvious she had something to say about it. 

“why did it take so long for a response?” she asks. “you applied for early decision, didn’t you?” 

it takes a lot for mina to not say something snarky in response. she’s not going to do that now. not so soon. “well, competition’s pretty tough. a lot of kids are applying for snu. especially in my class.” she wasn’t exactly lying, but it was a better response than “i was waitlisted for a month.” and even if she responded with that, at least she got into the school. wasn’t that enough? 

her mom lets out a small “hm” before eating more of their dinner. “well, good job on getting into that school. with how long the response took, i was starting to worry.” 

mina frowns. “i got into other schools, you know.” 

“but did you want to get into any of those other schools?” when mina’s silent for a response, her mother only continues. “you said that you were aiming for snu and it took long enough in order to get a response.” 

“can’t you just be happy over the fact that i actually got into the school?” mina asks, feeling her voice rise. “i thought you would be proud of me. is it that much of a surprise that i got in?” 

“all of your friends got accepted into their schools quicker.” mina feels her grip tighten on the chopsticks in her hands. “all i’m saying is you should’ve at least tried harder or at least recognize that you should’ve done better.” 

mina finds it hard to calm down after hearing that. it’s not like she didn’t expect a response like that, but to actually hear it from her makes her laugh bitterly. it’s sad to say she’s not surprised because this was what their relationship is at this point. even if she told herself that she just wanted to get into school in order to get her mom off her back, her words only make it seem like she was mocking her even if she reached at least the minimum. it made mina wish her mother lowered her expectations or at least make her own higher. 

she eats her food in a hurry, hoping to get out of this dinner as soon as possible. of course, her mother has an issue with it as she glared at her from across the table. “slow down. you look like an animal eating like that.” 

mina ignores her and she manages to empty her bowl, still trying to bite and swallow the leftover food in her mouth. she quickly stands up from her chair, puts her bowl and utensils in the sink, and runs upstairs, swallowing the last bit of her food down. she closes her door behind her even if she knows her mother was going to go up to her room anyways. when she hears the door open, she rolls her eyes before she turns to her mom. 

“can you knock?” the impatient tone was one she’s used frequently enough. whether or not she was proud of it, she kept that information to herself. 

her mother’s not afraid of it, though. in fact, if anything, she’s probably a professional at dealing with it. “you’re one to talk about manners,” she scolds. “what is with you?! at least try to stay for the entire dinner and not make it seem like you don’t like my company.” 

“why would i do that?” mina scoffs. “you’d yell at me for faking it, anyway.” 

her mom sighs. “why are you so selfish? why do you keep on doing this? do you understand how uncomfortable your father feels whenever we fight? how uncomfortable i feel?!” 

“i’m sorry for being upset over you not being a good mom,” she responds, crossing her arms as if to do the bare minimum of making fun of the woman in front of her who would do the same in their past arguments. “i got into a good school and all you can say is ‘i’m surprised they didn’t reject you straight up’? no ‘congratulations’ or ‘i’m happy you got into the school you wanted to get into’? shouldn’t you at least be glad over the fact that i’m going-” 

“how am i going to explain to the family that it took a few months for my daughter to tell me she got into snu after a few months since she applied?” her mom interrupts her, angering mina even more. “it didn’t take long for jaebeom to get his letter of acceptance. it didn’t take daniel long for him to know if he got in. do you know what they’ll say when i tell them you got accepted after countless times of me saying ‘oh i don’t know yet’, ‘she hasn’t received anything yet’? they’ll think i’m raising-” 

“what? an idiot?” mina laughs. “yeah. i’m sure everyone in the family’s already aware of the fact that i’m never going to be a lawyer living in america. at least i got into a school.” 

her mother then points at mina and she has to hold the urge to not swat the hand away from her face. “look at you! you’re already making yourself sound bad by acting like it’s a miracle they accepted you in the first place!” she criticizes. “you’re supposed to go to school. you’re supposed to get a degree in order to get a good job somewhere. after all your father and i’ve done for you and your brothers, why are you the only one who treats this like it’s not a big deal?!” 

“i am treating this like it’s a big deal!” mina asserts. “do you know how many nights i spent studying for tests that i knew i was going to fail? all the times i had to stay after school in order to make sure it wouldn’t affect my chances?! i worked so hard in the last few months to be accepted and i’m the only one in this room proud of myself for it! it’s like you’re actively trying to find reasons to be disappointed in me, even when i do something good!”

“maybe you should be trying to not constantly disappoint me, then.” her mother turns her back to her daughter and makes way for the door, but mina mutters something else that makes her stop in her steps.

“the one time i do something that i thought could impress you and you’re still disappointed in me.”

her mother doesn’t respond. all she does is stand for a moment before she leaves, not even bothering to close the door behind her. 

[hyunwoo-archive]

alrighty so sun in cancer. cancer usually deals with emotions and the sun is your ego, your identity. by nature you will probably be very kind, caring, and understanding and very emotional !!! the moon deals with feelings and it looks like its the most influential celestial body in your chart so you’re probably very sensitive and attentive to others’ emotional needs [1/11]

i’m putting this under readmore just bc its a long but thank u for ur asks anon omg jhagkhjsdjgs IM LIKE . TOUCHED THERES RLY 11 PARTS TO THIS JHFJ THATS A LOT

also for the ,,,,, very emotional thing ur right …… thats actually rly accurate :00 …….

moon in leo. your moon sign is like …. idk your inner mind and feelings sort of?? the sun sign is your clock but your moon sign is the gears that make it work. leo is proud, confident,assertive….. and also needy lol. you’re probably very stubborn and are clear(??) in your emotions and thoughts but you probably also desire some sort of validation from others regarding these things bc leo is the sign dealing with children n childhood so your mentality may seem naive at times [2/11]

this is …. too accurate lMFAO GAKJSHDJK IM REALLY NEEDY nd i hate admitting it but i love validation nd i’ve been told im rly Childish at times :// esp when i dont get what i want yeet gkjhjsdg

mercury in cancer. mercury is how u communicate with others. your communication style will likely focus on empathizing with others, being understanding and tolerant. venus in cancer. venus is how u deal with romance, beauty. you are attracted to soft, sensitive, considerate people. in love you are especially focused on emotional connections. in terms of aesthetics or beauty you probably like pastels or softer colors, smooth light fabrics, etc. [3/11]

inch resting ….. communication is pretty accurate :00 when i actually get started on talking abt my feelings,,, nd when it comes 2 comforting others i Like 2 think im pretty empathetic :0 …. but thats only If i get started on talking abt my feelings lmFOA GJHSDJK

mars in cancer. mars is sex and anger. youre passive aggressive - i have this same placement and its really 😰😰😰 because you kind of bottle up your anger and it escapes in weird ass unhealthy ways. also u probably have issues in being confident with sex/your sexuality bc cancer is like … not a great placement for this it causes like ?? constipation emotionally also ur probably a bottom dhfhfgf [4/11]

this entire Ask is like One Big Callout KJHFKAHJ but yeah no definitely i hold grudges nd let my anger bottle up until i vague the house down or like . Other unhealthy ways 2 deal w how angry i am ….. also yeah JFHJK i say im Confident w my identity but the truth ? im still questioning her :/ also KJFHSKH SOTPT .. ur right i truly am a bottom icb thats my calling :/

jupiter in gemini. jupiters about learning n growth. geminis the quick-thinking, witty, clever, talkative sign. but is also kind of impulsive and inconsistent - youre a fast learner and probably pick up things really quickly and have many talents but you kind of get bored quickly and move on [5/11]

inch resting ……… ur right abt that tho i do pick things up fairly quickly but jhsjhgjd i have a big issue w staying committed . once i have smth down or i know the basics im rly like hm,,, thats enough now time 2 find a new interest

[tomiecult]

hello songbird, i think my ask must have been swallowed by tumblr, so i guess i shall remain a mystery to you :3 to be honest i forgot what i sent you ahaha... i spend these days writing and reading, trying to define emotions into words on paper. Songbird how do you cope with your inner conflicts? do you daydream them? dream of them at night? right or read about similar characters? what makes you happy? sincerely, your songbird anon

hi !! im so happy to see you’re back

[lockwoodspecial]

I AM HERE AND SETTLED.    gonna be lbing the next two hours so make sure to blacklist “ tvd finale lb ” if you don’t want any spoilers!!