#i have several days off and no i dont have a drinking problem lol

[rosetterer]

I know it's only 1 P.M where I live but I want to get drunk again. Yeah or nah?

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me

[only-lonely-lovers]

08.09.2022 (2)

tags: drinking, pantomime, roleplay (pretending to be a girl), dirty talk, blowjobs

notes: there's also a later short continuation of this scene

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：[...] if your brother just weren't so shitty…

つ：its not fair if amane's penis is a private secret you know. you guys are brothers

あ：though for fairness sake i think about things like tyrant boyking amane with a cold I think my actual most cumbrain'd thoughts are like, Amane makes Tsukasa suck him off while sick and this becomes a habit. and that is purely him being evil

whenever I think about Tsukasa incidentally doing something i really think of it as like, 1. amane's karma 2. tsukasa deserves a CRUMB….

i want there to be the room for harmless scattered incidents like this. so that way its not like tsukasa had to spend like years in this cursed phantom of his childhood home, and then go back to reality to be suspended in some tsundere-ism for several more years. and then locked in hanako's basement as his yorishiro for 50 years on top of it. I-- LIKE I WANT THE SHEER PROXIMITY TO MEAN HE GOT A WHIFF you know i know tsukasa is happy with being stabbed in the heart but like 😭……….

つ：BUT LIKE PLEASE TSUKASA!!!! A TASTE OF COME

あ：you deserve to at least SEE your brother jerkoff a lil. omfg!!! like please😭 … you never got to kiss….

つ：you wish he had a leetle sporadic hints of intimacy, anything. have a day amane discovers sake in a cabinet and encourages trying it but like your God-Infused body makes you kinda impervious to it and now Amane is just like. making out and won't remember this and thats that. going to be just sick and sad the next day . and get taken care of. and be like…. tsukasa wtf you aren't sick…. thats not fair

あ：myeah this is what it's all about… but you know it's like. They are both weird people and their relationship IS weird lol so… I feel like there's just room for scattered incidents

つ：its just plenty of years…. things left unsaid, unanalyzed, but, a little bit tasted.

….. proximity does mean you just have to assume there are little stories of little times this or that had to happen. god willing. the kokeshi makes me so mad tho what if amane was like lol look. [holds at cock level]

あ：I do resent how much he could've been like hey roachie it looks like youre havin SEX

つ：its like what ithink of it like sometimes and its awful to dealwith

あ：the problem is to tsukasa it would just be liek XDDDD

つ：I'M LIKE WHREES THE INTERRUPTION??? WOULDN'T YOU BOTH JUST BE LIKE lol xD aaahahahhahahahahah

あ：There is no hater in the room looks like COCK and its like ah… it does!

つ：stands next to fountain to look like peeing laps at fountain. amane gets mysteriously angry tsukasa you took it too far again

あ：Imagine Amane being like this, but like, the other week he licked a triangle cut sandwich down the center to look like eating pussy

つ：god. its like downright discrimination if amane can be like hey check this out [licks peach] but if tsukasa is like hey [does some cock shit] amane's like. i dont . like that

あ：like ah me too! [deepthroats soemthing]

つ：oh like scarily like mid throat

あ：and it's like HIEIUYASDHF [PULLS IT OUT]

つ：looks way too elegant for a second

あ：It's ilke m-mh… tsukasa why would you….. [feels. bullied?] I do think when tsukasa is like [drinks fountain water] hehe <3 that it makes amane feel bullied. why are you trying to make me ? feel bad oh making a joke like you would drink my piss. shut up

つ：like jesus ugh. game's over. thats it

there must be a peak time when you two are just unstoppable in your energy at least. ugh the boys are boys. they are just like. hahahaha. . boner its so hard to believe you wouldn'tboth just gaze at a porno together and like point out what you like or whats funny or cool and get quiet when its more riveting

あ：its literally something boys do platonically I think amane is like whatever if its some porn mag he found in the gutter. like oh sure. hey tsukasa check this out but i think anything thats actually like. i REALLY like this and i jerkoff to this. that's like hidden under the floorboards somewhere anything that gives you material. its like well…. not that [i cant let tsukasa know what really makes me cock hard]

つ：investigating them first alone before showing them to tsukasa. tsukasa: whoa theres a page ripped out amane, blank eyed: yeah huh i guess so. tsukasa: musta been really good amane: yeah.

あ：[puts hands in pockets] we can only guess though. what it was.

つ：one day tsukasa comes to YOU with something HE fuond and its a real gauntlet. please don't contain any thing i am into.

あ：acting cool but a little nervous

____________________

あ：> you wish he had a leetle sporadic hints of intimacy, anything. have a day amane discovers sake in a cabinet and encourages trying it but like your God-Infused body makes you kinda impervious to it and now Amane is just like. making out and won't remember this and thats that. going to be just sick and sad the next day . and get taken care of. and be like…. tsukasa wtf you aren't sick…. thats not fair

I meant to say I like this littol concept

But you know Amane comes off as someone who , like, with less inhibitions, would just. like. start doing some shit If you grease the wheels

つ：even just as a haha lol. impulse. he's…. he-- he likes pleasure. he is capricious and touchy. i can see it as a slippery slope.

あ：right just like. haha lol. YOU FEELIN IT?? [touches foreheads]

つ：its easy to like kiss on a funny fun impulse. and then be like haha… mmm wait…

lol how do they do it in those photos…. in the books? no magazines…. [GETS DISGUSTING]

あ：Just horrendous

Though amused thinking about Tsukasa pleasantly reporting like :) i dunno. [smacks lips] I don't really feel anythinb. and Amane being like whwaatt… liar. [with my whore fingers i open your mouth like and look inside cartoonishly] Here we'll both drink more. [passes it back and forth]

つ：

あ：god…

つ：precisely what i am imagine becomes

あ：[blasting hot breath into tsukasa's face] [burps]

つ：aouhghhh. okay [tsukasa, who is unusually horny as a result of amane rn] ah. i do feel something [doesn't understand] it feels good

あ：Amane: that's RIGHT!!!

つ：so THIS is sake!!! effects! aaaaahhh… heeheeheehe

あ：Amane: Alright cool…. [kicks legs onto, like tsukasa is a footstool]

つ：just would like it to be a night amane doesn't remember at all and tsukasa remembers entirely

あ：He remembers all those horrible things you said and did

つ：going to be in agony tomorrow. barfing. headache. absolute baby in bed. but for the moment. he's peak form looking like a depraved monster making sex jokes

あ：lol tsukasa loook…. [tongues the bottle rapidly] can you do that

つ：hmmm….. takes… bottle. its very warm from amane's mouth on it excessively wraps.. lips around it. gets distracted

あ：[just watching, chin in hand] Hmm… Somehow I think I have the better technique

you really have to imagine Amane is doing that shit he does like as he is holding the bottle ambiently he is playing with it like tabbing his finger in and out of it and swirling around it Like by the time tsukasa gets it, it is like. ._. [my little pea…]

つ：stares. just kindof ruined by amane having breathed so much into his face earlier . also amane is all.. flushed. a look…. to observe. i like tsukasa being kind of. [quiet. hands in lap] when tsukasa is like [no mouth, simple gaze]. like the thunderstorms boy

あ：yes… just eyeballs. looking down blimks

つ：I guess I am feeling the sake. wow..... sake feels weird.

あ：So this is what grown ups are doing….

つ：i've figured it out, tsukasa! you're-- -I- do the stuff the GUYS in the pornos do, YOU keep copying the GIRLS, right?? you're all mixed up…. the lips around stuff…. like girls do. in them

あ：[amane spaces out for as econd as he says this. hm… yeah…………]

つ：i've cracked wh tsukasa is so bad at the jokes

あ：[stupid boy voice] that's soo funny. do you think about being the girls

つ：[staring] hmmm. [does not know? I'm just tsukasa] maybe

あ：somehow this isn't a question about sexuality like it's more like, lol… wondering what tsukasa is feeling when looking at stuff [its like so you want to RP being a girl??]

is it like. Fun ? [holds bottle …………….. but like makes a face. even just thinking about like. sucking it. no thanks lol]

つ：thinks about that… takes a bottle. just mouths it… it is stimmy. nods. a fun moment of sucking on it and lifting it up with mouth for a bit. we have fun

あ：Wow… [claps]

つ：heehee….. //

あ：Pretty good. for a guy

つ：amane, as a straight boy, can see the appeal of embodying a whore. he likes to do this in nene's body he gets it you know

あ：yes… its like hm hm mh… sou….

つ：the idea of being a girl is not lost on amane in reality. its like lol seems funny

あ：well girls have fun don't they lol…

Your whore brother having a thought though. gets up and sits behind you. and then moves arm on either side. and grabs your hand. yosh. Soo… like… [takes your hand and makes your pointer stick out, sticks it into bottle] does that make you feel anything. [moves it in and out.] compared to like. [and makes you wrap your hand around the neck] […. brain calculating . for a second.] [just uses other hand to manipulate the bottle, shove it in and out of hand]

つ：ough my little brain ouhh… aahha… [FEELING A LOT ABOUT AMANE BEING HERE RN… the sake is doing something to me] [its not] [just in some sort of state]

あ：he is distracting.

つ：[blinks out of sync] it's!! fun! aohhaha. all of it. [LEANS BACK INTO HIM...] ... because Amane is here....❤️ !!

あ：… ?? ?… ? [squints….] [trying to think about this in my binary. of cock adn pussy. it fails] just says. Oh yeah. so anything goes

you'd do like anything…?? pfhsh… tsukasa You gotta hafvf prebferences

つ：I do? hmmm… [thinking so gd hard] [literally doesn't understand the question, thinks they're talking about just the act of fiddling with bottles and stuff] my preference is Amane!

あ：laughs… the proximity, means the vibrations transfer to tsukasa's back. is breathing right by his neck.

Are you sure That's pretty bold How do you know. lol

つ：[was going to go UN but breath effects. him] [smaller] un [liking to think of a tsukasa on the same level of like. dokis as the amane that is like…. that girls ankles….. ]

a little 6.6 but cluelessly so. and feeling like… good… just like fiddles with bottle in hands

あ：can't be too self-aware as it be happuning to him. is just like ///

つ：the mythological sake…..

あ：the innate comfort between you two means, i dont think its like. upsetting at all to hear this as much as it is amusing/perplexing, amane's normal reaction wouldn't be much different. just kind of like 'tsukasa…' :/ and not believing him. but rn it's more like Lol! thats funny <3

[rambling] well i like girlsh so you 'd haveto be the girl. if I'm your preference. cuz i know what i like and it'ssz..z… doing the guy stuff. [slips finger into bottle, as its held in tsukasa's hand]

That's what I'm thinking about all the time

つ：impressive…..!

ah….. ……….. [CALCULATIONS???? equations] i can be…… the girl? [TRYING TO UNDERSTAND…TOO ABSTRACT for literal brain]

tsukasa earnestly watching amane finger a bottle: sugoi…..

あ：Huh. well……. ? if you want … to……….. [isn't replying clearly; brain leapt to this as a question of like, whether or not… you could… like… GENERALLY or something?? its like well… if you wanted to !?? it'snot like a crime.]

[furrows brow] ….. i mean like… for sex….. i guess you could do wahtever. but maybe just don't tell mom and dad. psfhhgf

But maybe you could get really good at. like. doing the stuff authentic role-play [loanwords]

つ：staring blankly at the space in front of them. continuing to feel amane behind. trying so hard to think

would you like that? would it be fun?

あ：Huh ? uhh. me? wait. [kombucha girl] well

つ：like….. [fingers together]…. hmmmmmmmmmmmm….. like…. carnivore-herbivore [their little dino game from childhood] [like a lightbulb] AH ROLES…. roles like that….. [IS THAT HOW? it all means? as a role…… ]

あ：[little pea frying] like… we're not literally dinosawrs… but… [sizzling sounds] we agree to… do the stuff

つ：HAI… hai! haiii….. hmmm…!! [thinking harder!!! BEING GIRL..]

あ： [amane is busy wordlessly running calculations like ?? nah… but well…….. i mean… -is shitty and sees girls as like . parts- well… it cant be pussy. but like mouth?? lmfaoo.. but itd be weird… but…. i dunno put a little english on it.. am ipicky.]

つ：[well, it's in his nature to dive headfirst in experimenting] [flops… forward, onto the ground…. flops arms behind head. pictures the pin-up in brain] [knees.. together, coyly! the pictures…. ah…. puts a finger to own lips. licks it. curves spine] [Tsukasa is canonically immaculate at impressions] it sounds unreal until you have to face that aidairo made this a canon thing tsukasa can turn on at will

あ：[record scratch]

つ：AMAZING--!!

あ：it's like jesus. [blurts] TSUKASA but it's not the right 'tsukasa' it's not the 'ugh no!' that he gets most of the time tone it's more like WOW WTF lol! How are you doing that… pshhgh

つ：did I do it? it's like the pictures! I'm doing it like that.

あ：Yeah!!! what the hell . ah, sugoi. it looks just like it

つ：AH, REALLY?!? [beaming at praise]

あ：… and here i was like… thinking… maybe you'd need like. a dress or something. a wig. i guess it's a lot simpler than i thought

つ：[stretches languidly. rotates onto stomach]

あ：[clap clap. whistles lol]

つ：[crosses legs behind. strokes through hair. leaning on elbows away from amane]

i feel like tsukasa is actually so master at this bc i think natsuhiko is peak normal straight boy and feels challenged by the capacity for feminine grace tsukasa can just turn on

あ：[gets up, starts pacing around him, looking down at it, just observing multiple angles] [it's just cool to see in 3 dimensions… not just a picture]

Are you sure you haven't practiced or something actually… you messin with me? [rests besocked foot on the small of your back for a second]

つ：ahhh amane really likes it….!! KICKS LEGGIES chigau chigau❤️❤️ its my first time…..

[thinking about porno dialogue] [a slow askance glance from side of eye] my first time… with you, Amane

あ：[-- talk slower] … so you can sound like them too… hahahah….. that was uh, good…. ahh, wait wait, do it again… no , wait. get on all fours…

つ：hai, hai….. ah lol. drags arms across the floor… raises up from knees first. there's flourishes…. more stroking through hair. embellishing spine curve…. swallows. ok. impression….. hmm…. a nice breathiness to the voice! yosh… yosh, yosh.

If it's with you, Amane… I know it'll be good…. [thinking bout him fuckin fingering bottles and shit like a caveman] [way too authentic] is a girl like me okay….? [virgin girl JK porno]

SAKE MAKES YOU SO GOOD AT THINGS, PERHAPS….! doki doki… amane is really watching me….

あ：amane had like. hurriedly moved to stand in front of tsukasa, to observe this, like a person at a museum observing art attentively. hand to mouth. but as it happens i think it really makes him like… shudder… blinks out of sync…

You know. the reality where mags and whatever shoddy AVs you can find are just OK. this isn't even a world where you're tabbing through tons of things on xvideos its really like whatever tf is around. so… being inundated anything with personal touch. it's like…. hhhs… ripple of heat. fidgets.[brainlessly, aloud] Oh, yyyeah… [comically not as well executed…] [speaking against hand] …. but then is like wait. i wont be outperformed. shakes head.

[sssstretches, tries to play off clumsy responses, hooks arms behind back, stretches a leg back. oh nbd…] Offf course you are, you're plenty good. [blinks. squints] [chuckling behind palm… its just like fhwhahah….!! amused again, by the circumstnace, 'isnt this silly.']

[amane in real time feeling it like wtf tsukasa can be a girl's name…?] [rushes] -- Tsuuukasa-chan is impressing me. She's got a lot going for her

つ：buries face in arms girlishly but like earnestly it just incidentally works for the play. kicks legs

あ：[breathes] wow…

つ：[trying to put on. the voice--!! a little more tsukasa leaks into it. squeaky as he gets talking to amane] i-it's overwhelming…..!! I---…… [feeling giddy… gotta get it under control! aheem….] it….. [gazes up at…. with doe eyes sparkling…..] could only be you, Amane…. for me, so….. if I'm good…. then I'm happy ❤️ let's ❤️ have ❤️ fun together ❤️

あ：[brain exits again. its like melts out his ears] [crudely, aloud] hhhh. hot. hot… egh [rubs face a lot]

つ：atsui crawls towards Amane… grabs his. pant leg.

あ：stares down

つ：a cute… like…. doesnt know what to do next❤️ its like uhm we dont really eat eachother as dinosaurs so…? how does role play. sex even work?

if we can't really do it [simple brain: we do not have the parts of in the porno,] [we are irl 2 boys, as much as we are two dinos, dame da]

あ：it's enigmatic for the intrepid tsukasa. but i'm really contemplating. i will say i think there's a timeline where amane like houghakay [drops pants] hats off to you madam

つ：the epic win timeline I think its like WHOA…. EYEBALLS ARE SEARING.. BRAIN SPINS IS THIS THE GAME?????? WHOA

あ：pretty crazy game

つ：the game of get sucked off standing up

i like the thought of amane mentally having a moment regretting having named her just tsukasa-chan like i should have named her . hinata or something new

あ：idk why i thought i was being clever or something

thinking though. i think it's fun if amane IS arrested and speechless for a second and is just like pat pat. good. girll. like hhhey.

つ：i'll do it just like in the magazines!!! 💭 hmmm.. maybe…. this is my preference?

あ： its like i call you good girl. and then immediately comment, like. it feels good to say

つ：[still putting on a voice] I like to hear it.... [brushes hair behind ear]

あ：[touches your hair like. as if it'd feel different or something.]

つ：nuzzles into it… a very tsukasa-like gesture, though. same as it ever is

あ：brain tinglies. it's really not so different… its almost like, your brain starts being like -- wait…. i think tsukasa just is suited to this ….

つ：just smoothly transitions back to mouth over cock….. ah. tsukasa very simply thinking: I can't talk like this❤️ i hope thats okay….. in the game….

あ：there is just a point where its like. this is fucking awesome……… fkdsgh

like ah wait wait… back to having whims--- [holds face at a distance, grabs self. rubs against] You…. you like that? Don't you….

つ：GETS STUPID-- NODS QUICKLY-- omg wait!!!-- ouhhg-- uh

あ：Yeeahhhh you do… [just continues seamlessly]

つ：clutches… hand into pants leg. 💭 sake is so…. weird…. it's hard to breathe…. dizzy…. pain? chest…. stomach

あ：[jerks off for a second like. stupidly] mm. yeah. IT'ssss pretty ccool to see righjt . tsukasa. you like. [brain cannot retain. like. concepts.] [i'm a shitty guy who doesnt even use honorifics oftne]

つ：💭 ah, he didn't use tsukasa-chan! is the role-play over….? confused… ueuhm? hmm….

💭 buh, stares. stupidl .y. wwwwhat woudl. tsukasa-chan or tsukasa say to this. [wind blowing through skull] 💭 SQUEEZES… PEAAA…. OUUHHGHH--

h-hot! It's hot! 💭 WHAT AMANE SAYS-- SAID EARLIER! YES you're hot, Amane!

あ：All this serious thought while Amane is just like relishing in the physical sensations. oooh its good

つ：amane is a complete idiot. also he is still inebriated i think it really is just lke. amnngnh ah hot breath on my cock ah

あ：feels good to meeee…. i like what you're saying [just grabs and drags mouth back on]

つ：homp

あ：oh but… its frustrating…. really going to just hump your face like an animal… no remorse at this point its like ffffffffffffffunnnnn. COCK SUCK!!!!!

つ：lose the plot. enjoy pleasure. tsukasa will love it emphaticallyyyyyyy

あ：no plot no more its just like blowjobs are good

つ：feeling the delightful sensation…. of being used…. whole new sensation of just being… fuck toy…. wow. feeling so so so directly like the toy…. being played with. like the bottle…. itself… in amane's hands . mmmm

ah sake makes you feel so good…. so good… like fireworks, in your head and heart….. [isn't in any way inebriated]

あ：indeed it is like, you're the bottle… You're the fun thing to touch and fiddle with, move this way and that. it's really comparable with how freely Amane subjects things to his. stupid pervert hands. just holding your head and moving it over cock

some sort of dokis though about how amane doesn't ever do something soo pointedly so hard for so long. fwee//// this is better tha n the AVs

つ：ah the narrative is delightful lol…. if I think about Amane…. just coming. I klf;skldfjksl he's going to say some horrible things compulsively feeling it shoot down throat like "thats right…. ddon'tt let any escape [IN CRAZY PORNO WORLD] take it… its for you…fffohr beingh ssogood…. " [LOSING ALL SENSE] [soft… grunt.. lip curl. holding tsukasa in place.]

simple delighted hums from Tsukasa… all he can manage… WAAAAAAHHH STUFF… COMING OUT?? hot…!!!!! hot, warm…. ah, inside??? swallowing…. something?!?! fklfkl from amane into … ???? PRIZE ??? for me ??? soueuroughg?

あ：mnn yeahh it would be that excessive… i like sloppily, arbitrarily engaging with the porno concept… not even good at keeping up with it, just fueling self to say whatever intrusive thoughts. and stoked by tsukasa's earlier dialogue -- being like, Make sure to swallow it all.. it's your fiiiirst… [trembling, rutting] and it could only be MINE!! [like he just remembered that part andw as like SHSHAHASH1!!!'1]

つ：💭 MY…. FIRST!!!!!! gkl;dfgk it could only be yours fksl;fskljfflfff.f aaouhh aoaaaaaa ah feel so good its scary AAAAAAAAAH!!! THISIS THE FUNNEST GAME XF evar… aougeorgjlj!!!!

あ：i'm sorry all other games….💔

つ：ah. tsukasa is tsukasa, so i imagine he's not at all going to stop or let go on his own.. has no sense for it.. its so funny if Amane has to be like [brow furrowing, SO TIRED IMMEDIATELY, fussy feeling] mmngnh tsukasa, aao, ow

pops off of undignified. grabbing by hair. tsukasa :9 :p

あ：huffs. like hey c'mon. don't be one of thos crazy girls not in the mood stuffs my cock away

つ：takes it all out of him. drained instantly. begins ambling for futon

あ：indeed i think its so. collapse

つ：nemui………..

i like the sheer rudeness of it ending like this. tsukasa just on his knees watching amane amble off like a zombie and just pass out as he hits the bed like :v wow…….

あ：snoring in seconds looking like a corpse really

つ：it must be so tiring to be 'the guy'

あ：:p ………

つ：

smacking lips…. in the silence, alone, touching throat…. licking cheeks, inside…. running tongue over teeth…. ah

a little bit of the taste is all over…. of the skin itself, and what came out ……. and the scent, familiar, of his sweat… that too…. mmm… wah…. that was so much fun…………

he thought I did it good…. doki….. Amane got really into it…. we havent played pretend that intensely for a long time….. like you're not lil kids anymore so you dont be doing dinosaur RP…..

あ：Awe yeah there is just this sort of happiness about having engaged in something like this, and for soo long… Thought Amane wasn't…. like… interested anymore…. /// but maybe the subjects are just different…? ^^

つ：amane is really interested in this kind of thing lately…

あ：sou sou…. thats how it is….

つ：tsukasa will just curl up next to him content and❤️ take a while to fall asleep. just watch him… snore… dead.

when amane wakes up sf sick he will be like.. never agaim… never agaim sake. tsukasa. which will feel..💔 ah…. okay. if you say so

あ：soooo funny to think about amane being so yucky tummy after

つ：[I guess I won't feel that stuff again….] […. but, if that was going to be the only time I feel it… I'm glad it was with Amane!] I'll remember it forever…..!

having ascribed all of the feelings of profound arousal to the sake… it's like a pocket dimension. and as the sake caused it to occur in a sense…. it really won't be repeated.

あ：going to space out sometimes drinking from glass bottles. side effects

つ：goes on believing up until the day he dies that it was the result of the drink and not his emotions

あ：random things triggering suck cock memories again its always funny to think about so many years later and being like. OH lol. this again

つ：OH ITS BACK... HIIIIIII

あ：so funny though i imagine its like. sees nene suck cock. kind of like. salivates. more than usual.

つ：mm its that good…. aaahh wow real girl doing it……. mm

あ：[watching this and replaying memories. was it like that…? ahhh……]

つ：you just hope one day in frnot of yashiro tsukasa can be like ah wait lemme try this! hey amane [hanako looking over lazily, lidded] what-- [tsukasa posing]

あ：i do think hanako seeing tsukasa do whore girl poses and stuff would be like ACK what are you doing!!!! but its funny if its like. [brain tingles a little also]

I was like also imaging a 4koma type aftermath situation where Tsukasa in any way references girl RP like hehe well… umm even if we never agaim ^^ …. does something to be cheeky like lol. hehe remember…. [since, it's not like we never talk about sex or something after this day] and amane is just like [LOOKS?] …

the most karmic thing also would be if amane was being shitty and was making some comment like lol you look like a girl rn… and it made tsukasa be like hehe. [rolls around]

つ：does a posie. heehee just gets sort of tazed. but does his amane thing and just like. looks away.

あ：[barks] amane is the boy! like… lol!

Amane is just like.. ngughd… Whatever. the hell you trying to do…

つ：tsukasa always remembars…. but it is just like… ❤️the sake must have made amane also feel.. those feelings, I felt its almost. tragic like😭 NO HONEY!!! 😭 YOU WERE IN LOVE

あ：😭 hyperion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am sorry your stupid horndog brother was just like feels pretty good. motuh on my cokc

つ：NOT SO DEEP….!

____________________

つ：what else. thinking idly of forks from the sake situation… its a good place to just like. sit around chew. enjoy the thought of pantomime…. just some good dogged humping. alsowould just make amane sleepy fast. exhausted. a nice thing

あ：hehe yeahh… i was actually gonna circle back… i DID want to think about an instance that was really as simple as like [kiss] …. wait. [starts REALLY KISS] … [topples over tsukasa in fervor]

for tsukasa this is the most like -- ?? /??? [bowie the ringneck parrot pinning eyes] WOO. WOO…..

つ：mmmm kissimh… HWOOO!!!!!

あ：Just being pawed at sloppily and really leaned into. makeout. fweee… I was thinking about this amounting to like, pinning tsukasa on the floor… entirely just Amane doing forward momentum goooo

つ：the effect of the lack of inhibitions and the momentum, mmmhmm… tsukasa is simply, passive for it all a lot of sexual tension in amane's lil body… finally diverting someplace, just for a bit.

tsukasa can only feel AAAH this is amazing… i feel really good! we're really having fun! it's so fun…. so fun i feel like im gonna explode to pieces.

あ：it's like delightfully simple… warmth trapped between bodies… the sheer familiarity of tsukasa… and then i think there are little sparks felt whenever tsukasa really sighs, giggles, hiccups out his name. it's like mmmmhyhh….

seamlessly start to hump against. rut against the ground kjkfjgh but god the way tsukasa is SO. wraps legs around you. it's actually brutal

つ：mmm its a real problem isn't it!! going to simply wrap all around! sorryyyy!!!!! you're gonna like it a lot. ah but in such a state…. amane just being like. AAHh yes haHAAHA good move--!! SHOVES

あ：brain is just like yes hot hyhe shhha ahg d [squeezes your waist] just like oh. my WHORE brother. fun

つ：ah is suited to playing a GIRL!!! hehaaawhaha

tsukasa's role is to just try his best to keep on a lil voice and be like~~ ah-- it, feels good-- ah, Amane!! Amanee . but I think the earnest noises, murmurs, work just as effectively. squeeze hard enough to illicit a gasp and get him slurring back "that'ss right"

あ：[sloppily] You're good at this !

In a moment like this… I'm sorry Tsukasa… but to ruin you a bit, by having Amane hold you by the ribs and move you up and down… create more impact… this like. just pure objectification that amane subjects one to

つ：ah it would ruin him for good….. natural instinct, impulse, for amane. ah i want more shove….. i want more slam….. if tsukasa was also moving… mngh

nice and exhausting for amane, this…. ah it would look so. horribly violent from afar imagines a nice distance shot

あ：Would love for it to look quite bad honestly Handling sooo carelessly far too aggressively. You should worry for the one underneath amane gonna have shakey legs after this When all your hump muscles hurt

つ：tsukasa's ribs reddened from the friction…..

あ：The skin just a bit more tender feeling, achey. really was sunk into

つ：ah funny for amane to wake up w headache and also like. my fucking muscles… wtf random muscles ive never even felt before hurting

あ：is that what hurts… after drinky… god…

つ：why can i barely walk… sake???? sake is horrible…

tsukasa would just be like ah really….? … mm.. well, I'm a little sore too, actually… pulls up shirt, shows messed up ribs. amane is like ?!? sheesh, what?! [as someone who was big sick once] ah, we really shouldn't mess with this stuff again i guess there's a reason kids aren't supposed to drink it?

あ：Seeing ribs is like wtf omg… and everything being a blur.. like, it's scary, none of that again… We weren't ready i guess…

but omg thinking about Amane steadily coming to while being soo sick feeling and Tsukasa is spiritually like [lying on side right next to yo… drawing hearts on your chest…]

つ：i think tsukasa is so flkdlf yeah. really gazing at amane, falling in and out of a content blissful sleep, having nice dreams, inhaling deeply. muttering like aaah Amane is so sleepy... [AMANE IS DEAD OUT OF IT, CANNOT HEAR]

あ：i always envision him waking up and like barfing a little on himself or something that unflattering and its justl ike hughf..gh.. [tsukasa rubbing his back while he's bent over a terlet]

but somehow even this part is like. tsukasa likes to be helpful in the next 24 hours as amane is a real princess. fall into that "yes master" mode

つ：like aahhh i guess there is a high cost to feeling good… hmmm… [learning something that will percolate later. but why should there be a cost.]

but kinda mysteriously feeling like… is that how it works? ah, but i'm not nearly as pained as amane… could he have actually felt better than me, proportionally? [pointless logic]

あ：endearing as he tries to figure this one out tsukasa really is here to be like💭 ……….. if only it could always be that fun

wistful upon the memories of Amane looking so engrossed in what he was doing and reveling in it… Special Amanes he has not seent before not like this… and Amane himself rambling about thinking about, sex all the time, its like fwuu….. ._. but… he likey… he wants this stuff…..

it's like suddenly knowing amane's favorite food but maybe it makes him tummy sick… but ._. if only… just the good tasting food part

つ：it is like that… like some time you ate a cup of butter and barfed a lot at like age 3

あ：this makes me contemplate a tsukasa that is trying harder to solve amane getting laid wwww but it's like… [sitting around looking troubled just from the sheer labor of squeezing his pea] and this makes amane go hey buddy. you alright. tsukasa just like looks at you sadly, i wish you didnt have to wait to drink more. which is like -- tsukasa!! omg but its like🥺 you just looked like you had so much fun…

つ：amane like omg but i dont even remember it… was i really going that hog wild i like the idea of keeping what they did rly vague but only bc tsukasa is poor at expressing wtf it was. he doesnt know what it was

its like ah yeah. amane: what did we… like do? tsukasa: [pea squeeze] ah! role-play amane: oh. like when we were littler? tsukasa: mmmhm amane: [ah thats kind of embarrasingly pure….]

あ：ah………… hazukashi. I do like amane just being like. completely in the dark. freaking blacked out

つ：tsukasa: i played… a girl! amane: sputter. oh yeah? what was I. tsukasa: a boy. amane: sputter again. what is that? amane: have i lost all subtlety and whimsy….. that's not even a pretend

あ：ahaha. what? …….. that doesn't sound like a very creative game, somehow. I just am a boy

つ：was it really so fun ?? tsukasa: hai! you had a lot of fun! amane: being a boy. tsukasa : hai. amane: [will never know what happened]

あ：like…….. uhhhhh…………. okay. [blinks, thinks tsukasa is kind of. being maybe a bit overly sad about something, like idk we played some silly game of. i dont even know what.] [imaginign something on the level of like bluey and bingo playing as a doctor and nurse assistant or something]

____________________

あ：Today's cumrot i am starting out with. Is thinking about sake makeout and Amane being like [disgusting RP voice] iiiii,,ffvvve never kissed. a girl before. and tsukasa being like [very innocently] ive never kissed a boy before……

つ：he's being so factual and literal. its true.

あ：Earnest in the middle of this porno

(~link to short continuation of this scene down here for convenience~)

[fleshblueberry]

Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored

Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality

I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-

When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)

Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.

now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-

Jam out!

... I don't even know what to say to this

[smallfrailfairy]

How can i get a thigh gap in 30 days?

So what I'm not gonna do is pretend and say "oohh follow a healthy diet 💫💫 exercise and eat your greens 💫💫 drink water and get 8hrs of sleep 💫💫💫💫💫." Because although these things are great, I am an anorexic w an ana blog and you asked because I'm assuming you want a quick solution. You can do what you want as long as you are of legal age imo. If you are not of legal age please respect me and do not follow me and this blog. This is not to be mean I promise. I do not want kids on here.

There are specific exercises for thighs to slim them (just look on YouTube. I recommend looking up thin thighs exercises because all the rage now is having thick thighs and you dont want to accidentally grow your thighs if you want a gap lol).

(For the diet portion you could always eat healthy, go keto (no/very little carbs basically), go vegetarian/vegan maybe, etc.)

Now let's talk business. You probably came here for a quick solution which are crash diets. Those basically starve you and you lose A LOT of weight VERY fast. If you decide to do this and are of age to decide this for yourself (dont come for me, we all can do whatever we want with our own bodies if you feel otherwise that's cool too) I recommend water fasting. But that shit is HARD. I was never hungry and I lost 10 lbs in 6 days. It was all mental. If you can overcome cravings then u can do this and good fucking luck if you do. Let me know how that shit goes lol Also try the "lemonade diet". It's my favorite quick solution. I lost 17 lbs in 14 days with no exercise. You can message me for details on that if you want. (Also if anyone wants a lemonade diet buddy where we can motivate each other and help each other through craving um message me my dudes?? I can never find someone to do this w and it's always easier doing it w someone else tbh)

Please be careful if you decide to do a crash diet paired w exercise that you DO NOT force yourself or push yourself too far. If you feel faint, fucking STOP. Luckily w the lemonade diet I never had this problem. You're pretty energized and it was easy (FOR ME) to exercise while doing it (I've done this diet several times). Please also stay hydrated always.

I also reccomend that you get fiber through senna which is a natural lax. If you all want info on laxatives, you can also feel free to dm me about that! I've been taking them since I was 17 (the senna ones) and know all the tips and tricks.

Again please keep in mind that some of these recommendations are destructive to your health and body. Although they do work, they are harmful. You will probably gain all the weight back. Or maybe you won't. It's diff for everyone. I only ever gain like half iron a third back depending on if I'm stupidly gorging myself every day after (which happens more than I care to admit).

Once again I'm gonna say- It's always best to follow a good diet and exercise obviously but I'm not gonna pretend I dont partake in quick solutions from time to time. I will not pretend I'm not an anorexic person running an ana blog.

Please stay safe and please respect others triggers, bodies, minds, sexualities, religions, race, and decisions.

I DO NOT RECCOMEND THIS TO PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT OF AGE! DON'T EVEN FOLLOW THIS BLOG PLEASE THIS IS AN ADULT BLOG FOR ADULTS ONLY that's not to offend anyone it just breaks my heart to think of a kid on here.

PLEASE RESPECT OTHERS AND YOURSELF

DRINK YOUR FUCKING WATER

WASH OFF YOUR FUCKING MAKEUP

TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND LOVED AT LEAST 2X A DAY

BE FUCKING SAFE

💖

[steebharringt0n]

Shadows of the Night | Vampire AU

dusk | night | dawn

Billy Hargrove doesn’t remember the last time he’s seen sunlight, or the last time he’s stepped inside a church. For over 500 years he’s been a vagabond, a wanderer, searching for a place to call home - until his travels land him in Hawkins, Indiana and his whole existence as he knows it is turned upside down.

pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader rating: m (blood, a tint of smut, abuse, language)

A/N: WOW SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER TO POST BUT THANK U FOR ALL THE RESPONSES AND FOR YOUR PATIENCE ILU ALL

Tagged: @killer-queen-xo @ephmrl-love @charmed-asylum @aillle8 @mattysheelies

—

Part 2 - Night

You were panicking.

Your foot was glued to the gas pedal, racing to beat the clock as time continued to dwindle by. You cursed the long and windy roads in Hawkins, they felt like they went on forever.

Stealthily and quickly, you managed to switch out of your heels and fishnet stockings while driving, it was a skill that was now second nature to you. Reaching behind you, you grabbed your converse, shoving one foot in at a time while you pulled over a large sweatshirt over you, effectively covering the skin tight dress you had on.

As soon as you pulled into your street, you made a sharp stop before your house. Grabbing the makeup wipes from your glove compartment, you hurriedly erased any evidence, wiping the ruby red lipstick off your lips, and the fake vampire bite off of your neck.

Incidentally, you also managed to wipe away the concealer that hid the dark purple marks around your neck.

You ran your hand through your hair, trying your best to smooth out the large curls that bounced with every shake of your head. When you felt presentable enough, you finally pulled into your driveway. Your eyes were glued to the front window where the faint glow of the TV was illuminating the living room floor.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you quietly muttered to yourself.

You threw your heels and fishnet stockings in the back of your car, grabbing your large purse that you had purposely placed there as well. Stepping out of your car, you composed yourself, trying hard to calm your frantic beating heart. With a deep inhale, you took the cautious steps up your porch, opening the front door and was greeted with the harsh scent of beer hitting your nose.

“D-dad? I-I’m home”

You tip-toed in the foyer, poking your head into the living room where you were met with the back of your father’s head, several beer cans were discarded around his feet.

You waited for a response, for anything, but were met with silence.

Silence was either a bad thing, or a good thing. You held your breath as you quietly walked over to him, your eyes shut as you pleaded to whatever gods above that he was passed out. When you finally reached him, you let out a sigh of relief.

He was knocked out, his mouth wide open with a half empty beer can in his hand.

You didn’t want him to spill the beer, so you gently reached over to his hand, trying your best to pull it out of his grasp but his other hand suddenly shot to your wrist, squeezing it tight. A yelp escaped from your mouth.

“You’re late” he slurred.

Your anxiety was through the roof, tears threatened to spill from your eyes. “I-I’m sorry Dad, Amber and I lost track of time at dinner, I promise it won’t happen again” you blubbered out, hoping that he’d believe your lie. He wasn’t easing up on his grip, but after a few seconds he threw your wrist back to you.

“Don’t let it fucking happen again” he hissed, taking a large chug.

You nodded quietly at him, your other hand gently rubbing where his painful grip was. You were sure to see marks on it tomorrow but you were an expert at covering up your bruises.

You soundlessly made your way upstairs, not wanting to rile him up any longer. You shut your bedroom door and rested your back behind it, sliding down and letting all the anxiety disseminate in that moment. You held your face in your hands, trying to remember to breathe through it all.

He wasn’t always like this. You have fond memories of a happy childhood, white picket fence and all. But out of the blue, your mother had up and left the both of you, claiming that this wasn’t the life for her. She had disappeared into thin air and you hated her for it.

It was then your father turned to drinking and started to blame you for everything. His problems at his job? Your fault. Your mother leaving the both of you? Your fault. His alcoholism? Your fault.

Everything in his eyes was your fault, you could do no right, even when you pulled the best grades in Hawkins.

You became his punching bag, his release for all his anger, his issues, and you had no escape.

You lifted your head back up and glanced up at the calendar that rested above your desk. November 7th had a large circle over it, it would be the day you turned 18 - it would be the day you finally could escape his wrath.

“Just one more week, just one more week and I’m outta here” you muttered to yourself.

You weren’t sure where to go, but you didn’t care. Since you were still 17 you weren’t legally allowed to leave the house yet. You graduated from Hawkins High with top marks but you decided to put university on pause - wanting to taste the world before you settled on school again. You had some money saved up from odd jobs here and there but you wanted to stay far away from the monster in the living room. He would effectively have no power over you and for the first time in your life, you felt like life wouldn’t be so bad.

You felt your phone buzzing, you pulled it out of your sweatshirt and swiped it open.

amber: hey u made it home ok?

y/n: yeah, i’m home thnx for checking up

Amber was your best friend, she had urged you multiple times to go talk to Hopper, but you knew it would just cause more issues than solve them. You were strong, you could withstand him for just one more week.

Your mind suddenly remembered the pale boy with the vampire costume. You quickly searched through your contacts until you found his name. Your thumb hovered over the texting symbol, debating on whether bringing a boy into your life would be worth it.

But something about him was … different … you couldn’t put your finger on it but he seemed off. He was incredibly gorgeous though, and you were surprised that he, out of all people in the party, paid any attention to you. Not to mention you had never seen the guy before, and everyone in Hawkins knew everyone.

“Fuck it” you said to yourself.

y/n: hey billy, it’s y/n from the party?

Instantly the text bubble appeared, you were surprised at how quickly he responded.

billy: hey gorgeous, sad to see you leave so early

What you didn’t know however, was that he was parked right across the street. His eyes were hyper-focused on your bedroom window. He was debating on whether scaling the tree or just watching you from afar. He knew it was a creep move but he didn’t care, he just wanted to make sure you were safe.

You let out a snort as you read his text.

y/n: ha, quite the charmer are you?

billy: i tend to charm the ladies here and there, what r u up to tonite?

y/n: bed, maybe watch some netflix, nothing too crazy.

billy: when can i see u again?

Billy was impatient, he had to catch a glimpse of you before the day broke again.

y/n: idk … we could hang tomorrow? maybe grab lunch?

An innocent lunch wouldn’t hurt you thought to yourself. What’s the harm in getting to know a cute boy?

Billy let out a huff, damn being a vampire.

billy: can’t, i’m busy all day and afternoon. maybe we can grab dinner if u want? i can pay ;)

You felt your heart start to race. Was he asking you out on a date? He hardly knew you.

y/n: r u asking me out on a date? lol

billy: if you want it to be

y/n: you hardly know me

billy: i can get to know you tomorrow night

A tiny smile appeared on your lips.

y/n: sure lol. pick me up tomorrow at 8. my address is 3843 willow lane. dont knock on my door just give me a text when youre here.

billy: sounds good, sweet dreams gorgeous ;)

You locked your phone and tossed it onto your bed. You stood back up, pulling off your sweatshirt and kicking off your converse. You unzipped your dress, letting it fall to the ground and pulled on a pair of cotton shorts and your Hawkins High sweatshirt.

You grabbed your laptop from your desk and walked over to your bed, pulling over the covers and settling yourself into the warmth of your comforter. You opened up your laptop and proceeded to open up Netflix to help you fall asleep.

Billy’s leg impatiently bounced up and down as he sat in his car. He watched as the light in your room turned off and as the light in the living room also turned off. He figured whoever was in the living room had also gone to bed, so he decided to make a move.

Moving stealthily and quickly, he ran over to your lawn, hoping that none of the neighbors would spot him. With his cat like reflexes he climbed up the tree outside of your room with ease, perching himself on a large branch that luckily extended out to your room.

His eyes scanned your bedroom, posters of different bands were hung up on your wall, a white desk sat in the corner, but his heart leapt when he finally landed on your sleeping figure. The soft glow of the laptop illuminated your face as you quietly slept through whatever TV show you were watching.

Even with your hair messily scattered on the pillow and your cheek pressed up against your arm you looked beautiful, breathtakingly gorgeous. His fingers were aching to touch you, even if just for a second.

“Oh fuck this”

His hands found themselves on the bottom of your window, he gently lifted it up, opening enough space for him to squeeze into your bedroom. With a soft thud, he landed into your room.  He waited a second to see if anyone or anything had been awakened by the noise, but luckily he was met with silence.

He walked over to your sleeping figure, he so badly wanted to crawl right beside you and hold you against his body but he fought strongly against it. He instead, sat right beside you, watching you as your chest rose and fell with every breath you took.

His fingers found themselves playing with the tendrils of your hair. He gently pulled back your hair to reveal your supple neck, but his eyes widened at what he saw instead.

Hot anger coursed through his body like poison. His eyes turned a dark red and his fangs promptly appeared. Billy was ready to attack, and your panicked demeanor at the party suddenly made sense to him.

His knuckles brushed up against the dark marks on your neck. The feeling of your skin on his hand sent shivers down his spine, it soothed his anger as it slowly dissipated out of him. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek.

“I promise to get you out of here … if it’s the last thing I do” he whispered to you.

He felt you stir in your sleep, shifting around soundlessly. You cracked open your eyes as you felt a figure hover over you. You lifted your head up, looking around your bedroom.

But there was no one there, just the soft breeze of the wind rustling your posters in your bedroom.

You frowned, throwing your legs over your bed and walking to your window. You poked your head out, looking to see if anyone was out there, but you were met with the still of the night.

You shut your window close and threw yourself back into bed.

“Huh, must have been dreaming … “ you said to yourself as sleep quickly overtook you again.

—

You awoke the following morning with a stinging pain in your wrist. You lifted it up, inspecting the dull ache as the dark marks began to stain your skin. You let out an annoyed sigh, walking over to your bathroom and promptly starting a hot shower.

After washing your hair and scrubbing your skin, you then did your usual routine of concealing your bruises. You popped some Tylenol in hopes that it would soothe the ache in your wrist.

You waited to see if Billy would text you throughout the day, but you were disappointed to find that he didn’t. You didn’t let it deter you from the date you had planned with him tonight.

You stayed in your bedroom for most of Saturday, only heading downstairs to grab a bite to eat. Your father mostly ignored your presence as you did his.

As it was nearing 8, you went downstairs to the living room to find your father still glued to the couch with a beer in his hand.

“Dad?”

His eyes were glued to the TV. He acknowledged your presence by letting out a grunt.

“I’m gonna grab dinner with Amber tonight if that’s okay … “ your voice trailed off as you anxiously chewed the inside of your cheek.

He rolled his eyes towards you, they were glossy and bloodshot.

“Fine”

You nodded at him, uttering a thank you and walking back up stairs. As soon as you reached your bedroom, you began to plan your outfit, You figured jeans and a cute top would be good enough for tonight. You kept your makeup simple, some mascara and lipgloss, you weren’t necessarily trying to woo him tonight, just getting to know him.

It was only a date anyways.

At 8 on the dot your phone buzzed, you were trying to play it cool, but you were lying to yourself if you said you didn’t feel a little excited. You hadn’t been on a date in a long time, let alone with a gorgeous boy.

billy: hey beautiful, i’m outside

Grabbing a light jacket, you walked down the stairs, trying not to seem hurried in front of your dad.

“I’ll be back around 10 dad” you told him as you left. But yet again, you were met with silence. You were trying not to let anxiety gnaw at your stomach, you refused to let your dad ruin your date. So you quietly left your house and ran over to the blue car that was parked across the street.

Billy was lucky enough to find a close friend of Walt’s living in the next town over. He had texted Walt around 4 AM to see if he could spot anyone who could house him for the next couple of days. Victoria Marino - a sweet old vampire who had lived for almost as long as Walt was happy enough to have Billy stay over. It had been years since she had company, especially a vampire stay at her home.

“Walt told me everything” she told him. Billy towered over her, she was a frail little thing, but was sharp as hell. She gently grasped his shoulders, “You musn’t give up on love Billy, fight for her. Finding your Beloved is a powerful thing for us vampires, human or not”

He was more than happy to have someone on his side - even though he knew Walt was still vehemently against all of this.

You caught him standing outside his car, a pair of aviators rested against his nose, his mouth in a wide grin. His heart sped up as you approached him, he instinctively wished to scoop you up in his arms and place kisses all over you, hold you close until the dawn broke, but instead he controlled himself as you stood in front of him.

With a soft smile you greeted him, “Hi”

He returned the smile back, “Hey”

He promptly then walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for you, “Our reservation at Enzo’s awaits for us”

You raised your eyebrows, “Enzo’s? That’s pretty expensive, you didn’t have to go all out”

Billy shrugged, “It’s no big thing, it is the nicest place in town”

You stared at him for a brief second, wondering why on earth this guy you’d just met was pulling all the stops for you. With the slight shake of your head you let out a soft laugh and entered his car. You gazed around in awe at how nice his car was, everything looked brand new, it even still had that brand new smell.

“Holy shit you have a really nice car” you told him as he sat down in the driver’s seat.

“Ah, you should have seen my 78′ Camaro, that engine purred”

“Big car guy eh?”

A smirked donned on his lips, “Yeah, I guess you could say that”

—

The car ride to Enzo’s was filled with good music and Billy asking you 101 questions about yourself - which you didn’t mind, but you found it odd that whenever you asked about his family, he instantly changed the subject. Anything personal about him was very vague and very brief.

You didn’t want to admit to yourself that it raised warning bells in your head, you wanted to stay positive about the experience, hopeful that maybe this guy would be the one you’d spend the rest of your life with.

He was a gentleman the whole way there, letting you pick the music, not speaking over you, genuinely interested in everything you had to say. It was refreshing to say the least.

When the both of you arrived at Enzo’s he instantly ran out and over to your side, opening the door for you. He extended his hand for you to take and you took it, gently pulling you out of your seat.

He tossed his key to the valet parking, “Take care of her will ya buddy?” he patted the guy on his shoulder, handing him a 50 dollar bill.

fuck I think this guy is loaded you thought to yourself.

Billy wrapped his arm around you, the both of you walking step by step into the restaurant. The gesture made you feel all warm and tingly inside, for once in your life you actually felt safe around a male presence.

The two of you were quickly seated, Billy specifically asking for a private table.

“Of course Mr. Hargrove, please follow me” the host said.

With his arm still wrapped around your shoulder, you glanced up at him, “Billy, seriously, you didn’t have to go all out … you only just met me yesterday … “ you muttered to him.

He shook his head as he pulled your chair out for you, “No, please, this is nothing” he waved your comment off.

You sat down on the chair, watching as Billy came around and sat across from you.

The entire dinner went pleasantly well. Besides some things that made you raise your eyebrow (He told you he was deathly allergic to garlic, and he rarely ate his food, just picked around it). Billy was nothing but kind, warming and inviting to you. It helped that he was charming as hell, and by the time dinner finished, you could see yourself going on another date with him - which usually doesn’t happen.

The drive back to your house was filled with laughter and long talks. You both bonded over bands and artists you both love, about movies, about tv shows. You truly didn’t want the night to end. As he pulled up across the street from your house you hesitated on leaving, anxiety started to pool within your stomach, dreading to be back in the same house as that monster you called your father.

“This was an amazing night Billy, truly, the most fun I’ve had in such a long time” you told him.

He gave you a wide grin, shrugging casually, “Well what can I say?”

The both of you stared at each other in silence, your eyes moving down to his lips. Courage surged through you and you leaned towards him, your one hand placed on his cheek as you placed your lips on his. Billy was surprised to say the least, his blue eyes widened in shock as he felt your soft lips on his, but the shock quickly wore off as he melted into your touch. The warmth of your hand burned the cold of his cheek. You gently pulled away, nuzzling your nose onto his.

Breathlessly, he spoke, “Does this mean I get to see you again?”

You nodded, your thumb rubbing soft circles over the apple of his cheek, “Text me tonight?”

Instead of responding, he placed a chaste kiss on your lips. He wanted the feeling of your lips on his to last forever, and now that he knew he was open to kiss you, he never wanted to stop.

He watched as you got out of his car and made your way back into your house. Before you opened the front door however, you turned around, faced his car and gave him a small wave.

You shut the door quietly behind you, resting your body on it. You had a crush and it was bad. You were grinning like a fool in love and for the first time, in a very long time, things didn’t seem so bad.

You quietly then walked through the foyer until you reached the living room. The TV still on from earlier, and your dad still sitting in the same position. You poked your head in, “Hi dad, I’m back … it’s 9:45 … I’m early” you meekly announced to him.

He gave you no response as he continued to chug his beer. You took that as a good sign.

The minute you reached your bedroom, your phone started to buzz. Instantly you pulled it out of your pocket and smiled stupidly at the text.

billy: did u make it in okay?

y/n: yes im fine lol, i want to see you again … is tomorrow a possibility?

billy: hmm … idk … dinner was kinda boring … ;)

y/n: ha ha ha very funny

billy: of course we can meet up again tomorrow, id love to

y/n: great! i want to take you to the quarry, its amazing, u can see all the stars out there

billy: getting all romantical on me now?

y/n: hey you started this lol, besides a little romance with a cute guy never hurt anyone

billy: you calling me cute?

y/n: duh who else would i be referring to?

Your fingers had never been more glued to your phone. You spent all night texting Billy until you ended up passing out with your phone gripped in your hand. By the time you had passed out, Billy was already getting ready for bed. Victoria had been watching him the whole time as he sat in her living room couch, his fingers typing away furiously with every text he received. Billy swore he heard her mutter an ‘Oy, youths … ‘ at one point which made him chuckle.

It was almost noon by the time you had awakened, the sun beamed in brightly through your bedroom windows. You pulled your phone towards you to check the time but was surprised to see a text from Billy at 4:04 AM.

billy: sweet dreams beautiful girl … <3

The text sent butterflies swarming to your stomach, you threw a pillow over your face to cover up the shit-eating grin you were currently sporting, but a sudden loud banging from your door quickly dissolved all of those emotions.

“There’s no fucking food in the house! Make yourself useful for once and go shopping!”

Your father’s voice roared behind the door, instinctively you pulled the covers over your head, fearing that he was going to come in and hurl more insults at you. But when you heard his footsteps continue down the hall you let out a sigh of relief.

You then quickly got ready for the day, running out towards the local market and buying food for you and your father - not that you ate most of the time at home, you were always feeling too nervous or anxious to eat at home. So you always made excuses to meet up with friends to grab lunch or dinner at a cafe or restaurant nearby.

You were hoping to hear back from Billy throughout the day, but just like the day before he was silent, not a call or text from him. You tried not to let it get to you, you distracted yourself by cleaning up around your room, or watching a show on Netflix, but by the time the sun had started to set you finally received a text from him.

billy: hey beautiful, im on the way

Billy too had fallen asleep in his coffin with his phone glued to his hand. You were the first thing on his mind the instant he awoke - already forming plans for the two of you.

Victoria was kind enough to always lay a full glass of blood for him every morning. The last thing she needed was a love-struck vampire to go into blood-lust mode, there’s no way a vampire can control their actions when going into that head space. They become vicious, relentless and absolutely terrifying. It has happened to Billy only once before and if it wasn’t for Walt being around he was pretty sure that Billy would have slaughtered more humans than intended.

You swiped your phone to unlock it, fingers working quickly as you texted him back,

y/n: c ya soon ;)

You held your phone close to your chest when you realized that you were nowhere ready to go out looking the way you did. You threw your phone on your bed, quickly hopping into the shower and prepping your face. You kept your outfit casual again, with a pair of high-rise jeans, black boots and a cute sweater.

When you heard your phone buzzing, signaling that Billy was outside, you realized one important detail - telling your father that you’d be going out.

There was no way you were going to miss hanging out with Billy, but you knew that if you were to tell your drunk of a father that you were heading out without notifying him earlier, that there was no way that he’d let you out. You glanced over at your window, it was the only option left.

You opened up your window, poking your head outside. Billy watched you with curious eyes from his car as you shimmied out of your bedroom window, reaching towards the large branch from the tree outside your room. Once you were safely perched on the branch, you were able to quickly scale down the large oak tree. You landed softly on the grass, taking in your surroundings before making a mad dash to the car parked across the street.

Billy unlocked his car as you flung open the passenger side door, quickly sitting down and pulling the seat belt over you.

Billy wasn’t stupid - he knew exactly what was going on since he saw the dark marks on your neck. Everything started to make sense to him, your punctuality, the fact he wasn’t allowed near your house. He’d even caught wind of your anxious ticks, the way you bounced your leg restlessly at dinner last night, or how you’d constantly be glancing at the time on your phone.

He didn’t want to pry, it was a delicate subject to touch upon. He just wanted you to be safe - and he only had less than a week to convince you to come with him to New York.

Billy played it stupid to keep you comfortable.

“Sneaking out today are we?” he smirked as he pulled out of your neighborhood.

You let out a nervous laugh, rubbing your neck, “Y-yeah, you know how parents can be”

Billy wouldn’t know, he hasn’t seen his in over 500 years and Walt always let him do whatever he wanted, just as long as he played it safe.

“So, where is this quarry that you speak of?” he asked, pulling up his phone and opening up Google maps.

“No need for GPS, I can guide you there, just take a left at this upcoming road, then keep going straight until you reach Richland Road, then it’s just a straight shot from there on out. You can’t miss it, trust me”

He nodded at your words, pulling out of the neighborhood and following your guidance until he reached the infamous quarry - and you were right, it was the perfect place to see stars.

You eagerly stepped out of his car, your eyes gazing up to the dark sky that was illuminated by thousands if not hundreds of bright speckles.

In all of his 500 years of living, Billy had never seen such a thing. Sure he’d been all around the world, but he had never seen the sky lit up so bright until tonight. He followed you, stepping out of his car, his eyes glued to the sky. 

“Shit, you weren’t kidding ... “ he muttered to you.

“Yeah ... I’m gonna miss it” you spoke wistfully.

His eyes shot back down to you, his lips puckered into a frown. “What do you mean?”

You broke out of your gaze, not realizing what you had just said. A half smile formed on your lips as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You rested against the trunk of his car, “I’m uh, leaving Hawkins, in about 5 days ... I’m turning 18 and I’m leaving”

There was a sense of hesitation in your voice, Billy heard it loud and clear. But the fact that you were planning on leaving right when he was supposed to head back to New York ... it was as if fate was working it’s magic. His heart wanted to leap with joy, but he played it cool, calm and collected. He joined you by the trunk of his car, resting his body against it as well.

“Where you heading to?”

You shrugged, “Don’t know, haven’t figured it out”

Billy nodded, still trying to play it cool. “You know, I have a place in New York”

You turned to face him, “Oh yeah?” There was a pregnant pause, “You propositioning me?” a slight smile spread over your lips, your tone turned playful as he blushed.

Billy shifted his feet, feeling the gravel dig underneath his shoes. “I - I ... you know, if you’re looking for a place ... I have a place you know? And New York is pretty cool, I could show you around ... if you want of course!”

You wanted to laugh at his bashfulness, how quickly he was able to go from Mr. Charming Man to a blubbering mess within 10 minutes. You leaned over to him, resting your head on his shoulder. Billy instantly froze the moment he felt your body heat on his. and became more of a statue when your fingers found his - linking them for warmth, but you frowned, squeezing his hand tightly.

“You’re so cold ... “ you commented.

You glanced down at the linked hands, and suddenly came the realization just how pale Billy actually was compared to you. You quickly brushed it off, continuing your gaze to the night sky above.

“Maybe you can join me in California ... get some sun in you eh?” you gently jabbed his side with your elbow as he let out a chuckle.

“I’ve thought about moving to California ... “ he paused as he lets his thoughts meander around his head. California was definitely on his list for places to live, but he couldn’t help but feel bitter at the fact that he couldn’t fully enjoy it. He wanted to learn how to surf so bad, to enjoy the beaches, to hang out by the boardwalk.

But he couldn’t do that without his Beloved by his side.

Your voice broke his thoughts, “Why didn’t you?”

He lets out a large breath through his nose. Sometimes he truly hated being a vampire. “Oh you know, life brought me to New York instead. Maybe one day”

You nodded slowly at his response. Silence then took over the conversation, the both of you just relishing in each other presence. You didn’t want to admit it, but a small part of you was falling for him - and falling hard. A constant battle between your heart and head was currently taking place, and your heart was in the lead.

You’re not sure why, but you felt a sense of peacefulness wash over you whenever you were with him.

But something - call it the universe, call it your gut, call it intuition, - was telling you to stay with him.

“Maybe New York would be good for me ... “ you suddenly spoke.

He glanced down at you, his mouth in a grin so wide you swore you saw all his pearly whites. “Oh yeah?”

“Give me more time to think about it okay?”

He squeezed your small hand. It burned the coldness of his skin but he was far too in love to care. He leaned his head over yours, placing a kiss on your hair.

“Take your time. I’ll be here”

And he was. The two of you were completely attached at the hip the rest of the week, texting each other nonstop, sneaking out to hang with him every night. At this point your father’s drinking has become more rampant, he’d be passed out completely by 7 PM, which gave you a sense of security whenever you sneaked out of the house.

The more you hung out with the blue-eyed blonde, the harder you were beginning to fall for him. Billy was a complete dork in his comfortable nature, you two would blast out cheesy pop songs and sing them at the top of your lungs. Or sneak into a late night movie where he would toss popcorn at your hair every now and then to get your attention. You wondered why he was never available in the morning or afternoon - but when you brought the subject up he would just casually brush it off, explaining that he had work to take care of.

Billy on the other hand, was completely enamored with you. He was sure that the universe did the right thing and made you his soulmate because there was no way in hell he was ever leaving your side - and he was desperately hoping you felt the same way.

Of course things between the two of you got physical. If you both weren’t out doing something, you’d both be out at the quarry, usually in his backseat with his hands underneath your shirt and your fingers tangled in his short curls. He didn’t want to pressure you to go all the way - that would come when it came - but my god was he finding it harder to control himself around you. 

It was November 6th - a day left - when the both of you were fooling around in the backseat of his car. Your thighs wrapped around his waist as your hands found purchase on his face. His lips were everywhere - he could feel your pulse race, your blood run, with every breath you took and it was taking everything in his power not to sink his fangs on your tender neck right there and then.

You pulled away from his lips, gazing into his eyes as you rested your forehead on his. 

“I’m coming with you. To New York” 

Your announcement almost made his heart stop. He gently pulled away from you, an incredulous look on his face, “A-are you serious?”

You bit your bottom lip to keep you from exploding from excitement, but you nodded happily at him. “Yeah, I’ve never been more sure before in my life.”

“Shit. Y/N. We have to celebrate!” He exclaimed. You swore you had never seen a man so happy before. You giggled at how boyishly happy he suddenly turned.

“Slow down there Casanova ... I still need to pack, get all my things together”

“Right, right, yeah, of course” he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to let the news sink into him.

His plan actually worked. He couldn’t wait to tell Victoria and to show boat to Walt.

You gently ran your fingers through his hair as it got quiet in the car. Your eyes filled with love as you gazed down on him. The moon was full tonight, and the bright light that it emitted shone through the car - illuminating Billy. He seemed much more paler than the last several days, and you were starting to wonder if he needed go to see a doctor.

“What?” he questioned urgently, “Do I have something on my face?”

His hands quickly shot up to his face, touching around. You giggled, shaking your head.

“No, you just look really pretty under the moonlight”

A smile spread upon his lips. His hands then reached up to your cheeks, stroking them softly.

“You’re beautiful Y/N. I hope you know that”

You let out a small laugh, “Billy, you tell me that all the time”

“I know but just in case you ever forgot ... “

You shut him up by pressing your lips onto his. He instead found it hilarious to drop his hands from your cheeks, and to squeeze your sides. You pulled away from him as laughter erupted from your mouth, throwing your head back and trying to wiggle away from his grasp. The effort came to be fruitless as you were caught between his body and the back of the passenger seat.

His actions finally stopped, letting you take a moment to catch your breath. He marveled at the way your cheeks glowed a rosy red, and how your eyes twinkled brightly under the moonlight.

You glanced over at the clock on his car, your eyes widened at the time.

“Shit. It’s late. I need to get back”

You pushed yourself off of him, adjusting your shirt and straightening your hair back down. The both of you stepped out of his car to move back up to the front. The entire way back Billy was animatedly talking about all the places he’d take you in New York - but in reality his mind was reeling, wondering how he was ever going to explain to you what he truly was - and if you were to ever accept him.

It was a risk he was going to have to take, and a risk that he was willing to die for.

He pulled up near your house, remembering your strict instructions to never pull up in front of your house.

“I’ll pick you up as soon as the sun sets okay? I’ll be finished with work by then, and we can make it a night trip” he told you.

You nodded happily at him, leaning towards him and pressing a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight ... I’m too excited”

“Happy early Birthday Y/N. I promise tomorrow will be a day you’ll never forget”

He grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss. You in return squeezed his hand before you exited out of his car and headed towards your house.

There was an extra hop in your step as you approached your front door, quietly unlocking it with your key. You entered your foyer, your head turning to face the living room, fully expecting to see your father passed out.

But he wasn’t there.

Fear ran it’s cool claws down your neck as panic began to set in. You ran into the kitchen, hoping to see him rummaging in the fridge for another beer. But he wasn’t there either.

You quickly ran up the stairs and ran straight into your room. You swore you had never felt such a sense of fear enter your body than when you saw your father sitting on your bed, his face completely stoic, his eyes blurry and red.

“D-Dad - “

“You little whore”

It was as if venom was pouring out of his mouth whenever he spoke. His eyes darted over to you as his mouth turned into a nasty snarl. He slowly stood up, walking over to you with his fists clenched by his side.

You began to hyperventilate as he towered over you. Your eyes filled with tears as you avoided his death glare.

His hands shot up and grabbed you by the collar of your shirt, pining you to your bedroom door as you yelped in pain.

“You think I’m fucking stupid huh? You think I haven’t seen you sneaking out for the past couple of days like some fucking slut?!”

You quietly sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut as he pinned you harder to the door.

“Answer me!”

He pulled you up, you felt your feet leave the ground as he threw you across your bedroom. Your body landed with a loud thud, spraining your wrist in the process. You let out a loud and painful wail, he watched you with a sick grin on his face as your body was wrecked with sobs.

Shakily, you reached for towards your pocket, pulling out your phone. Your fingers worked nimbly as you found Billy’s name through your texts. You hit the call button and slid your phone under the bed before your father could come and snatch it from you.

You tried pulling yourself up, but pain shot through you as you applied pressure on your wrist, bringing you back down to the floor. Your father stalked over your body as you desperately tried to crawl away from him.

Billy was stopped at a red light when he saw his phone light up with your name on it. With a soft smile, he picked up the phone, “Hey gorgeous miss me - “

“Billy! Help!”

His blood ran cold at the horrific sound of your voice.

“Y/N?”

He heard a loud thud, then followed by an ear-shattering scream. Without even thinking, he pulled a U-turn at the light, his foot pressing hard onto the gas pedal as he was reaching speeds of 90 MPH to reach your house in time. His eyes were turning a dark red, his fangs were fully visible.

There was no stopping in him getting him to you. He would slaughter anyone who would stand in his way.

He stopped his car in front of your house and darted out his car door. He was moving so fast it was as if a wind breeze was passing by. Using his shoulder he broke down the front door and ran up the stairs to your bedroom where he was met with a gut-wrenching scene.

Your father was on his knees, tears pooling out of his eyes as he sobbed over your unconscious body. Your body was splayed out on your bedroom floor, blood trickling down your nose and out of the corner of your head. Your father was too drunk to even realize that Billy had walked into the bedroom, but before he could even glance up Billy had thrown himself on him - pinning him down the floor.

“What the fuck did you do?!” Billy roared at him.

Your father continued to cry as Billy’s fingers squeezed his neck, cutting off his air circulation.

“I - I ... “

But before he could formulate a sentence, Billy had already sunken his fangs into him.

Your father screamed as Billy drained him from all the blood of his body. Leaving the man as a hollow shell, pale and empty. Billy pulled away from him, his body relishing the taste of human blood. He licked his lips, not wanting to drop a single taste a blood from the feeding.

After he was sure he drank all that he could. He ran over to your body, gently lifting your head onto his lap.

“No, no, no, no, Y/N, wake up, please wake up ... “

He put two fingers on your neck, trying to find any indication that you were still alive. He faintly felt a pulse - but he knew that your father had done too much damage.

He had failed you - he had failed to keep his promise.

He let out a whimpering sob, holding your limp body into his arms. Billy knew he could save you, but would you ever forgive him?

He had to make a decision - and quick.

So he scooped you into his arms, bringing your neck to his mouth.

“I’m sorry Y/N ... please forgive me”

He sunk his fangs into your neck and prayed that you would survive the next 24 hours.

[kvltprince]

I was tagged by the lovely @leporidaefluff (Thank you! it was the push i needed to get started on this instead of just going oh~ neat~!)

Rules:

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same. Sorry if anyone has already been tagged, no obligation. @ heathie on whatever acct cos im a dumbass an i miss your bois(you miss em too), @randomwordsandstormydays, @randomfuzzbunny, @jornaquinn @chrysocolladawn ( @somewhere-withoutyou if you would...) and anyone else who would enjoy doing this. (if i get tagged again ill do anther oc. i would tag a few others but i feel weird tagging ppl i dont like ever talk to lol.)

What is your name?

"Lucy Grandchester, yeah that one.” 

How old are you?

“Fourty-five unless you are getting nitpicky about cryostasis. That doesn’t count unless I am joking with a ghoul, honestly.”

What do you look like?

He lets out a small half chuckle, "Oh, we are doing this okay. I’ll bite. Slightly short middle aged punk, long greying curly hair, undercut, with one leg and too many tattoos?”

Where are you from? Where do you live now?

Lucy uncomfortably takes down his hair and redoes his messy bun while sighing and becoming a bit short. “I’m from just the other side of that irradiated water near that gas station south of here. Name kinda gives it away. You have seen it? I honestly am not sure how it’s standing still between the bombs and everything else. It’s looked after now, and is a surprise asset to still have. I lived in Boston for a while after all that, and back in this area once Nuka World was opened, then back in the Boston area, and would you look at that I am back in Nuka World and it is a lot more comfortable now.”

What was your childhood like?

"...Unstable, for everyone. It got a bit better once my parents were dead... are we done with this line of questions? Or am I excusing you?”

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

“Well, I started out trying to play nicely vaguely with anyone that didn’t try to shoot me first. That.... hasn’t stayed how it is. At least not fully, though i generally play nice until I am given a reason not to. I am friendly with the Disciples, the Operators, several of the Children of Atom groups that haven't irradiated their sense out of their heads yet, the Railroad.”

Tell me about your best friend.

He finally visibly relaxes the rest of the way after that history business, and takes a drink of a quantum. “Oh only one best friend? Are we in high school again? aw Alright. We have some parallel histories.” He swirls the glowing drink, but doesn't let himself get lost in his head too far. “Great humor, puts up with my shit somehow, doesn't blow my sneaking. Laugh that could take on the world even though they probably wouldn't. No I am not spoiling who I decided on. A man has to have some secrets somewhere and mine are in short supply”

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

“My son Shaun never ceases to surprise me with what he can come up with, and how well adjusted he is. Codsworth is still helping out with the household, and helping keep Shaun from disassembling live turrets while I am away, though now he is living here at Fizztop with us. Surprisingly it seems to be an alright setup, and Shaun has taught a few people some upgrades in their downtime. There is enough room to keep things comfortable, and I have done some park remodeling since I arrived. My closest companions that don’t hate my choices I have made I consider family, but that has become a smaller circle than before.”

What about a partner or partners?

“Gage of course, he is my husband for whatever it is worth in the wasteland. Otherwise I suppose that depends how you are defining that. I am an affectionate person and some people seem to have rather strict definitions of where the edge of friend and partner should be”

Who are your enemies, and why?

“Several people aren’t speaking to me very well at best after I have settled into the Overboss seat here, on a personal level. The Pack were wiped out. The Brotherhood were wiped out. The Institute were wiped out. The minutemen are pretty pissed understandably. The Gunners still show up in vertibirds sometimes and are still pretty fun target practice. My settlements are generally comfortable, and my outposts mostly only have problems with gunners or trappers. Minor annoyances.”

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

“Yeah, of course. I think they got too headstrong for their flightsuits. I mean I understand but you really can’t do that shit and expect no repercussions. It was quite a firework show honestly, I wonder how far away the heat was felt..”

What about The Enclave?

"I don’t know much about them, only one of their ex-soldiers, he didn’t exactly tell me much. Cute, a bit odd. Not sure if it is the radiation that did that or not.”

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

He has a flash of a pensive thought drift across his face “There’s a few that aren’t so bad. Obviously the FEV isn’t mass-curable though, so not exactly much of a choice what to do about them unless you like getting a rocket launcher or a nuke in your face.”

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

“Proobably~ around Bunker Hill, It was just, A Lot. That whole time was not just the specific fight. I don’t remember a lot of it, I’m pretty sure Gage half dragged me home after the main running around and meetings after the fight. I don’t think I had a full thought for a while.”

Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

He thumb points to a sniper rifle leaning against the wall “Yeah, too often, thankfully usually I see them first, and I’ve gotten the sneaking thing down. They make pretty good steaks.”

Do you like fighting?

“Sometimes, honestly. Something tired and overstated about old habits or something boring. Really though, it is exciting and keeps the boredom away. Playfighting and sparring will do, no need to draw blood. I guess. Good to keep knife and sneaking skills sharp however you can.”

What’s your weapon of choice?

“A modded real sharp Throatslicer she called it, I swear Nisha found this thing in the loading dock or something it is the nicest box-cutter I have ever owned. Opens up anything.”

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

“Outlive everything around me usually by not being seen, notice it first, shoot it faster, stab it more, talk my way out of it, or by luck. I have zero real idea, but I can eat nearly anything and I bet that helps too.”

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

"Of course, there are a bunch, and I was ushered into 111 to turn my life upside down. They seem to only be any good for salvage, horror stories, clean water sometimes, and if you are real lucky a trade post and a shave. I have a settlement vault that is doing well that I have taken over and built up, but that is not Vault-Tec related, obviously.”

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

“I have a few recipes that are good for radiation, though it doesn't affect me very badly overall and I am slow to feel any sickness. I suspect that one day I will turn into a ghoul.” He is rather matter of fact and unbothered by this, and hints that he knows that not getting sick much from radiation means just that.

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

“Probably the stags and gazelles and other herd animals. They are overall unchanged other than most have two heads now, they are still nice to watch”

What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

“Honestly? radscorpions? Those fuckers are too quick and you cant shoot them cos they tunnel and they knock you on your ass and poison you and just UGH”

How do you feel about robots?

"Robots are alright if they are not causing trouble. Some of them are nice. Jezebel is not so nice, but she is guarding red rocket and bitching the entire time so shes no longer my problem. The Rust Devil’s robots are a pain in my ass for real.”

How many caps do you have on you right now?

"Plenty.”

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

He cocks his head slightly “I havent heard that one in a while. Depends on the flavor of Nuka Cola, I do like Sunset Sarsaparilla though, if you have any.”

Do you do chems?

"Not recreationally anymore. No, not because of him.” He nods toward Gage “It just, gets out of hand”

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

"Not as often as you would expect, I mean obviously there is the ‘oh i remember when that wasn't destroyed’ of things, but things are more comfortable than I thought they could be”

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

His eyes narrow slightly “I don’t really do regret. Things were done the way they were because it was the choice at the time. A choice now for an old situation isn’t helpful to living my current life or my old life. I am not living then, I am living now.” 

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

“Surviving all of this, and myself. Creating this strange semi-stability in this post apocalyptic place.”

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

“Keep me and mine safe, happy as we can be, and I hope that my found-family never fully stops growing. Curious what the future holds for my raiders and friends, there is so much potential, it could be risky but it is there. For once it is a good solid place to be, and it’s mine.” Lucy polishes off his questionable as hell drink with a smile.

[reddeaddenial]

Hi friend! May I request 38 with Micah? Thanks a lot! 💚

“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

Micah x Reader Part 1

[Part 2]

Word Count: 2051

Welp this turned into an angsty reader x micah somehow lmao. I’m gonna retcon some minor stuff after Guarma cuz it makes no sense imo but i dont think it’s too noticeable lol This got really long for no reason and I’m very sorry. I tend to write ramble when I’m not sure where I’m going with something so this just sorta happened haha

—–

Abandoning Shady Belle was a quick and panicked mess. You packed as quickly as you could, you knew you and the group couldn’t dawdle. Couldn’t have time to mourn. But it felt like like abandoning the old camp was also abandoning the others who they had to leave in Saint Denis after that horrible bank robbery gone wrong.

Good people died. Hosea… You adored Hosea like a father. Took you into the gang near a year ago when you had no where else to be. Lenny. That poor boy didn’t deserve the end he got. And then the others according to Charles, smuggled themselves on a boat. A boat that no one has heard about since. But there was mentions of an awful storm not a day later and everyone feared the worst.

That was a good portion of the gang missing and it was an awful blow to morale in their new camp in Lakay. Dutch, their slowly unhinging leader. Arthur, probably the most realistic voice of reason and right hand to Dutch. Javier, the group salvaged his guitar, but was left unplayed in a corner of the camp. Bill, they made sure to take all the horses, even those without their riders now; but Brown Jack was growing increasingly restless without the usual attention and pampering from his owner.  

And then there was Micah. And honestly, no one in camp made mention of missing his presence. Or any comment at all. At least not around you. Because for reasons that they and even some days you could not comprehend, Micah and you were sweet on each other.

Well maybe sweet wasn’t the right word. More of a tolerance. That tolerance started with holding your ground over Micah’s aggressive and rude talk to you and the others. Your quick witted back talk seemed to annoy him at first, but it then became the norm for you two to just banter. It was an amusing show to some, with how quick tempered who bother were and constantly clashed, but it kept Micah from harassing others in camp mostly so no one seemed to care. But then things…changed after a party at camp one night.

Too many drinks. You ending up in Micah’s lap, playfully arguing with him. Next thing you know, you’re both kissing heavily, much to the shock and disgust from those who noticed. After that, things were different yet… not. You would still shout and fight with each other. But more often than not after, Micah would yank you behind some trees or tent and fool around. A lot. What can you say? The man was an asshole but he was very skilled in other areas.

But what was most shocking and just a secret between the two of you, was just the normal conversations when alone. Stories about past robberies, or life before, complaining about Pearson’s food. It was small things, nothing earth shattering. But those tiny quick moments seemed to bring you both together more than any fooling around did. He wasn’t a nice man, you couldn’t fool yourself that he was even if you tried. But you liked him. A lot more than you should have. And you hoped to think the feeling was mutual.

But now the bastard had gone and got himself lost in a boat at sea. And you were more torn up about it that you ever thought you’d be. In a sense you were grateful no one made comments, good or bad about Micah Bell. Most days you could just go about camp chores without thinking too much on him. The times you did though.. He was probably dead. Dead and gone but no one would care. You cared. You cared enough to cry into your pillow some nights. You hated it, Micah would have called you out for being such a whimpering weak willed thing for crying. You cared and you hated that you did.

It took several days and nights but with a lack of hearing his name around camp, hearing his voice, you were getting better. Not over it, but you were more focused on keeping the rest of the group alive, helping Sadie and the others where you could.

But then, one day Arthur Morgan walked right into Lakay. Looking a bit worse for wear but he was alive. And according to him, everyone was. Dutch, Bill and Javier. And Micah. You didn’t know how to feel. Ecstatic at first but… Now you were just mad. Furious. You wanted to punch that fool. No. Shoot him in the damn leg so he couldn’t go wandering off on boats and getting shipwrecked in god damned fucking Guarma. Really? Guarma?!

The group could feel your storm of emotions and wisely left you be. They knew how you got when you were in one of your Moods. A day or so later, Dutch and the others showed up to camp, exhausted looking, but alive and breathing. And there he was Micha Bell. Alive. Not even looking in your direction and antagonizing Sadie and the others. You scowled, hating at how hurt you actually felt by it. You stalked off, going to find a place to cool down before you caused a scene.

About an hour later you wandered out of your hiding place in one of the wagons and walked about looking for the fiend that had an unfortunately tight grip on your heart. There he was, on the porch overlooking the swamps leaning back lazily in a chair. Alone. Good. Maybe you could both just… talk.

You walked across the porch, the taps of your boots across the rickety floor made your presence known as you stopped beside him. “Micah.”

Micah looked up at you with an unreadable expression, and just looked away indifferently. “What you want y/n?”

Ouch. You took a steady breath trying to keep your growing pent up anger from bubbling over. “Think you know Micah Bell. Haven’t seen you since that nightmare of a robbery in Saint Denis.”

Micah snorted and crossed his arms. “So? What, you here to check up on me?” You almost needed to physically restrain yourself from reaching for your gun to… to do anything. Anything to just get him to even fucking look at you. You swallowed your pride though and answered him honestly. “…Yes.”That had him looking at you again, but you caught a flash of genuine surprise in his eyes before it was hidden with indifference again. Which confused you all the more when he said “It’s no concern of yours. Now how about you run along and go chat up someone else? I’m not in the mood with putting up with your usual shit.”“Why are you acting so-?!… I thought you… and me…” Dread was filling your gut, the emotions of all the awful things that have been happening these past weeks were really messing with you right now and Micah acting so indifferent. You knew there was a good chance that he didn’t give a shit about you. You knew that the little bonding moments could mean nothing. You knew all of that, but your heart was being shot up into little pieces right now. You had only yourself to blame. You knew… but you had hoped. “You and me what? Thought you were smarter than that y/n.  Got more things to worry about than your pining.” “Pinin’?!” There is was, a crack in the dam keeping your anger at bay. Your voice raised a bit, eyes narrowing. “I’m the only one that tolerates your shit attitude in this damned gang! Sure you can shoot a gun, but if it ain’t for that. No one ‘round here woulda hesitated puttin a bullet in your head with the way you go on!”Micah scowled and stood up from the chair, facing you completely. This argument was different from all the rest you both had before. You could tell how the way he was looking at you. Something changed in him. Was it from the incident at Saint Denis? What happened in Guarma? You weren’t sure. But whatever cruelty he held back on you was let out full force in his next few words. “I never asked for you to tolerate me! Never asked for your company. Never asked for you to follow me around with your simperin’ feelings.” He stepped closer, getting in your face with a sneer and completely shattered your hopes in two quiet sentences. “You’re so easy to read now y/n it’s borin’. How ‘bout you wander off and go do something useful, and if I need your services, I’ll give ya a holler.”

That was it. You saw red, behind your damp eyes. You roughly pushed Micah’s chest away, making the man stumble back and hit the porch railing. You went for you gun. Micah’s eyes widening in shock as he realized what  you were doing. You had only just began to aim, when you noticed from the corner of your eye an outreached hand whipping out and grasped your wrist tightly yanking your pistol out of your grasp. You glowered at the man who only tiredly looked at you in disapproval and sympathy. “You need to calm down y/n. You’re lucky I got here when I did.” “This don’t concern you Arthur Morgan. Hand me the gun.” You spat out glaring between Arthur and an oddly silent Micah. “Look y/n, as much as I’d love to see this sack of shit dead you-” “Then hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself!”

“-You can’t be doin’ that. We need every workin’ hand here to keep the gang together. We can’t ourselves killin’ each other when we have a whole lot of problems out there tryin’ to kill us!” He raised his voice over your own, trying to get you to see reason. And you did. Arthur was always good at that. After a few moments of silence you nodded. You sniffled and glanced at Micah, who was just watching you warily like he’s never seen you before. Squaring your shoulders, you collected yourself and took a deep breath. Enough of this. You were better than that. So much better. And definitely better than Micah fucking Bell. “You don’t get to talk to me. You don’t get to be near me. And you sure as hell don’t get to touch me. You… You are not worth this Micah Bell. I’m just sorry it took me this long to realize it.” And just like that, you turned your back to him and walked past Arthur who was still holding your gun. Micah didn’t say a damned thing. This was probably the quietest you’ve ever heard the man. He let you leave without a peep. You walked to the absolute farthest part of the camp away from Micah, leaning against a tree, wiping your tears. You were done with crying over that lowly snake of a man.

Footsteps.

You turn your head and see Arthur awkwardly shuffling there and your lips upturned to a faint smile. This man was awful with trying to cheer people up but offering your gun back was a good attempt. “Promise me you won’t shoot em? At least not yet.”“Promise. I’m… sorry you had to hear all that, had to butt in.” “It’s fine. To be honest, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. Bright side, looks like you scared him quiet with that act. Wonder how long that’ll last though.”You gave a bitter chuckle and you both looked out at the fading sun through the gaps of the trees. “I’ve been a fool. But he’s an even bigger one. He’s gonna regret makin’ so many enemies out of people.”Arthur huffed a laugh and crossed his arms. “Don’t I know it. Till then… you ever feel like you’re about to get trigger happy on him, just come my way alright?”“Thanks Arthur… You’re a good man.” You smiled softly, hearing his quiet grumbles of denial. Lord that man couldn’t take a compliment. But you felt… better. Lighter. As much as you hurt right now in this moment, you knew you’d come out of this stronger. Arthur mentioned Dutch, Bill and Javier would be here soon as well. The gang together again, you could all move forward, get back on track. Lay low, earn money, and get the hell outa here. You could do it, you were a survivor. And no heartless Micah Bell was going to stop you.

[car-karaoke]

Friday Part 1

This is my first fic EVER. I have no idea how it is or if it's any good. Let me know what you guys think please!! I did this for @tephi101 and her writing challenge! Your challenge gave me the courage to try this out!! Hopefuully I don't disappoint!

Warnings: Body insecurity, language, slightly NSFW, I think that's it? Idk.

Word count: Idk, this shit really got away from me lol. I wanted to put one of those cuts to keep reading, but I didn't know how to do that! Sorry ahead of time!

"Hey, can I get a large iced white mocha please?" you ask the barista of your favorite coffeehouse. She rings you up and hands your card back to you as you make your way down the counter to the spot you get your drink. The coffeehouse was unusually busy for a Friday morning. People are filtering in and out every 30 seconds it seemed. Your drink order gets called out and you take it with a small smile as you scope out a place to sit where you won't be noticed as much.

It's not that you didn't like your appearance today or anything, in fact you actually felt pretty confident since your makeup was on point and you were wearing something other than sweatpants for once (because let's be honest, a hoodie, sweatpants, and your hair in a messy bun was about as good as it got most weekdays). The crowd itself was just overwhelming for a smaller cafe. Luckily, you found yourself a little corner with dim lighting and a big well-loved arm chair.

[[Keep reading]]

You settled in, crossing your legs in the wide chair, setting your drink down on the end table next to it, and opened your book of the day; which happened to be The Hobbit. After about 40 pages in, you were in the same position you get into every time you get into a good book: somehow your face was very close to the pages, you're eating up the words on the page like candy, your iced white mocha nearly forgotten in the corner of your eye. The fairy lighting and relaxing acoustic music sucked you in even further. Nothing could tear you from your peaceful moment. Nothing at all. Except for a certain deep voice.

You look up for the first time in who knows how long as see a group of guys entering the cafe, their backs to you. Your eyes dart back to your book momentarily as you grab your drink and take a long sip until you hear one of them laugh. You look up and nearly choke on your swallow. You'd know that face anywhere. Alex Høgh Anderson.

Ever since you started watching the show Vikings, you'd been hooked. As his character was introduced, you initially did NOT care for him. You were more a fan of Bjorn and Lagertha. But as the show went on, you found yourself more and more fascinated in his character. Of course, since you were on tumblr, you saw all the background pictures, interviews, stories, and etc on all the cast. Let's be honest, they were all gorgeous. The men and the women. But Alex's humor and overall demeanor really drew you in. And although you lived in Dublin, you never expected to see any of them there.

You tried to place the other people with him. One was Jordan Patrick Smith. God he was attractive too. But Alex looked like a straight up snack. You realized you had been staring at their group and quickly looked back down to your book, reaching for your drink again. Never in your life have you had this much trouble focusing on reading. Alex and Jordan's group had sat down in the middle of the cafe. You looked around and noticed you weren't the only one gawking at then. A group of barely legal looking girls walked up to their table and asked for a picture. A couple other people followed suit. Part of you wanted nothing more than to go up there and do the same. But your head was telling you differently. The poor guys had barely been able to take a sip of their drinks yet. And you had a feeling that even if you did go up there, words would fail you and your stand in front of them wanting to say so much, but unable to say anything at all.

So instead, you settled for (not so subtly) looking over at them every few minutes or so. After about 10 minutes, the espresso had gotten into your system and you had to pee. Unfortunately, the bathroom was on the other side of the cafe. Past THEIR table. You sighed and put your book away, grabbed your empty cup and walked over to the trash to throw it out. You started walking slowly toward the bathroom, the congestion of the cafe working in your favor as you could hide behind the taller people. But then the tall guy in front of you looked down at you and moved to the side saying "oh sorry there darlin, here come on through" and you were directly in front of their table. And Alex was facing you. He looked up at you and your eyes met for a split second before you tripped over your own shoe and stumbled forward. Thankfully, you caught yourself before falling completely over, and pursed your lips together tightly. You looked to their table again, awkwardly sighed and said "woo, that could've been worse..." and gave them a sheepish smile. Alex flashed a bright smile at you and laughed softly as the others chuckled.

You quickly walked past them to the bathroom and practically ran into the stall. Your hand was shaking slightly you noticed, you grabbed it with your other and forced yourself to take a deep breath. You didn't even want to know how red your face was. You could feel your cheeks burning. An inner monologue started playing in your head. 'You have to say something to them!' 'NO. Was two minutes ago not enough a reason to save yourself more embarrassment??' 'You'll probably never get a chance like this again.' 'Yeah, but what difference would it really make, they would probably forget about you 30 seconds after you say something.' You sighed and put your face in your hands as you muttered "I'm just gunna wing it."

You exited the bathroom and peeked around the corner. They were still there. You made your way over slowly, looked at the floor. Your heart was racing. Just as you approached their table, you realized no words were going to come out. Alex stood up just as you were passing and you ran right into him.

"Oh shit I'm so sorry!!" You squeaked

"No no, please! That was all on me!" Alex said

His hand touched your shoulder as you both steadied each other. His charming smile and blue eyes seemed to bore into your soul.

"Geez Alex, way to run into the beautiful lady just trying to get past your tall ass!" Jordan shouted with a smile

Alex sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, his hand still on your shoulder you noticed

"I said I'm sorry!" He retorted with a smile

He seemed to realize his hand was still on you as he quickly moved it and muttered another apology. You smiled and found one shred of confidence as you said "No really, it's no problem Ivar." You said slyly.

He paused and did a double take back at you as a smile started to form on his face. His friends all started smiling too, Jordan especially. You heard him say "daaaaaamn" under his breath. You forced yourself to hold your confident smirk and you stared each other down. Alex broke the stare first, pulling out his phone to look at the time. Or so you thought. In reality, Alex had to find a reason to not keep looking at you because you were one of the most gorgeous women he had ever seen. Even though you weren't super dressed up or anything, something about you drew him to you. And those eyes. Damn those eyes, he thought to himself. He fought back the giant smile as he looked back up at you. You were still staring at him.

"Actually, my name is Alex. Not Ivar, although I guess you could call me whatever you prefer" he said with a smile

"I...uh...I know..." you replied hesitantly. "I'm Y/N."

Alex's brows furrowed in confusion "You knew huh?" He started smirking as he rubbed his jaw. "How come you didn't come up and say hello before?" He asked

You shuffled your feet uncomfortably "I just didn't want to bother you guys, you seemed to have a lot of fans coming up to you already"

Alex looked over at Jordan quickly as they shared a look. Jordan then looked around to the other guys in the group, all of them smiling at you. Alex cleared his throat

"Well I dont know what you're up to later, but feel free to meet up with us later if you want. We were gunna hit the bars" he offered shyly, shrugging his shoulders.

You blinked a few times, wondering if you heard him correctly or not. You couldn't have.

"Wait...like....hang out with you guys...? Tonight?" You stuttered

Alex's smile grew even wider. "Yeah!" He said excitedly. "We can exchange numbers so we can meet up with each other tonight if you're down?"

You were pretty sure you were dreaming at this point, but figured why stop now. "Sure! I'd love to. My friend and I were going to go to the bars tonight anyway."

"Oh sweet" Alex said, handing you his phone with a new contact open. You entered your info and switched phones, him doing the same thing. You gave each other your phones back and you both cleared your throats at the same time.

"Aww how cute" Jordan joked, looking at you two standing next to each other.

"Fuck off Jordan" Alex said with a laugh. You giggled and pulled your purse up to your shoulder, looking up at him.

"Well, I've gotta get going. But it was really nice to meet you....Ivar" you said with a smile. He chuckled and nodded his head. "I'll uh....I'll see you later?" You questioned. Half expecting him to be like 'ha yeah right!'

"Yeah! I'll look forward to it." He said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders in a side hug. You instinctively leaned into him and hugged him back. GOD HE SMELLS AMAZING you thought to yourself. You broke the hug and offered them one last smile before heading out the door.

~back at your apartment~

You started down at your phone. The same open message that you've been staring at for the past 5 minutes. You had started a message to Alex several times now, but kept erasing it. You had no idea how to start a conversation with him. What if he just felt put on the spot to give you his number because people were watching? Doubt started to creep into you as your phone buzzed. Startled, you jumped and looked at your phone. It. Was. Alex. HE was texting YOU. You couldn't help the smile that crept to your face, threatening to stretch so wide it may hurt.

*Hey Y/N, it's Alex-looking forward to seeing you tonight! Here's the first club we are going to*

You typed a reply quick before jumping in the shower. You still had the whole afternoon to get ready, but you wanted to shave. God only knows how long that takes you. Plus you had to pick out an outfit. Thankfully, your best friend and roommate was coming over to help. She barged in on you during your bath with your phone in her hand.

"Yo! Who's blowing up your phone?? Its been buzzing nonstop for the past 5 minutes!" She giggled

"What?? Uhh....I don't know...lemme see" you replied. You grabbed your phone and saw that you had a friend request from Alex on social media, and three messages from him. Instantly, you had that big goofy smile on your face as you read his messages.

"Oh girl, I know that look. You're talking to a guy!! Who is it?? Please god don't tell me it's Matt." She said

"What?! No Taylor, it's just...uhm....his name is Alex." You said softly. Your best friend watched Vikings too. Although she had more of a thing for Ubbe. You suddenly remembered that you met Jordan too and started to laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. Taylor was looking at you incredulously, waiting for you to explain. You got out of the bath and dried off, explaining the whole thing.

"OH MY GOD Y/N, HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET SO LUCKY?? OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! I'M GOING TO MEET THEM TONIGHT HOLY SHIT!!"

You just laughed and agreed. You still half thought it was a dream. Over the next few hours, you and Alex texted each other nonstop about anything and everything. He actually seemed a lot more laid back then you thought. You knew he was famous and obviously fucking hot as hell. You figured he was like most men you've dealt with like that: condescending assholes whose egos were so huge their head barely fits through the door. But to your delightful surprise, Alex wasn't coming across that way.

After getting all dolled up, you put on a pretty simple dress that showed off your substantial curves and was sexy, but not over the top. Taylor was slightly more dolled up than you, her ample cleavage looking perfect in her dress. You were always a little envious of your best friend. She was taller, skinny, tan, looked like she belonged on the runway. Trying to shove your insecurities to the back of your mind, you put on your shoes and went downstairs to get in the taxi.

Once you guys got to the bar, you texted Alex to tell him you were here. He let you know they were by the bar. You took a deep breath and opened the doors of the club. The music was pounding. You could feel the bass in your skin. It smelled of whiskey, cologne, and fresh air, since the club had an outside area open to the main space. You loved it. You guys both made your way over to the bar where you immediately saw Alex. He looked AMAZING. You eyes widened as you shamelessly checked him out, seeing as how he hadn't seen you yet.

Your best friend made your presence known before you could, squealing as she saw the guys. They all turned and greeted both of you. Taylor immediately asked them all for pictures. You were awkwardly standing to the side waiting for her to be done. Staring at him. Again. So you decided to go order a drink. A lovely rum and coke. As you grabbed your drink, you spun around to go back to the group and nearly smacked right into Alex. You shrieked softly, your hand resting against his chest so you didn't fall.

"Hey! I was wondering where you went off to!" Alex yelled over the music

"Yeah! Sorry, I just needed a drink!" You yelled back. You noticed he was staring at you, admiring your outfit.

"You look fucking amazing Y/N!! You looked beautiful before, but damn!" He said

Heat instantly flooded to your cheeks, as you smile slightly. "Thank you! You look great too!! But you always do" you said, not believing that last part slipped out. He chuckled and thanked you. Grabbing your hand, he pulled you back over to the group where everyone had now merged.

As the night went on, you all kept happily drinking and dancing and talking. Alex seemed to always have a little part of his body touching you. His shoulder touching yours, knees touching, thighs up against yours. You were feeling pretty good, multiple drinks in, but not drunk. Alex was the same way.

Suddenly Earned It by The Weeknd came on, which was always you and Taylor's go to song when you were feeling yourselves. She squealed and ran over to you, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the dance floor. You both started dancing sexily and singing together. Little did you notice Alex staring right at you while you danced.

"Dude, you are literally undressing her with your eyes" Jordan laughed.

"I can't help it" Alex admitted, not even looking at him as he replied. "She's just so fucking attractive. My God. LOOK AT HER DANCING RIGHT NOW. I. CAN'T." he whined. Jordan just laughed and slapped him on the shoulder.

The song ended and you made your way back over to Alex, new drink in hand. He hadn't picked his jaw up off the floor yet, still blatantly admiring you. You gave him a confused look. "What?" You asked him

"You are really fucking attractive. That's all." He simply said.

You blushed again and forced a laugh. "Yeah. Right. I REEK sexiness" you retort, making a dramatic pose. Alex looked at you in a way you hadn't seen before. Confused? Sad?

"You dont think you're attractive Y/N?" He asked.

"Well...I mean I guess I'm okay. I wouldn't say I'm hot or anything. I mean not like Taylor. Or you" you added with a laugh. Alex opened his mouth to say something, but just then a group of girls wearing very sleazy outfits came up and asked him for his autograph and a picture. You sighed and started to feel your emotions get the better of you. You and your damn emotions. They came without warning. You could feel the tears threatening to spill over, suddenly feeling not at all confident about yourself. You walked over to the outdoor area and leaned against the railing where few people were.

You breathed in deep and sighed, admiring the view from high up on the building. You felt one tear fall over your cheeks as you sniffled. Suddenly, a finger was on your cheek, wiping the tear away. You turned and saw Alex, looking at you bewildered.

"Y/N, you're crying. What's wrong? Did something happen??" Panic was in his voice and you felt bad for scaring him. It wasn't his fault.

"No, it's nothing. I just got a little overwhelmed is all." You lied. He didn't buy it. He leaned against the railing next to you, arm right against yours.

"You don't have to tell me, but please let me know if it was something I did. I don't ever want to make you feel bad" he said softly.

Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was how incredibly sweet he was being, but you shuffled until you were facing each other and hugged him full on nice and tightly. He didn't hesitate hugging you back, running his hand up and down your back. "What's wrong love?" He whispered.

You sighed and looked up at him, not breaking the hug. "It's just hard to feel confident when all the women around you look like they are movie stars and your short, chubby, and uncoordinated." You admit.

You feel his hands on your face, either side of your cheeks, as he makes you look up at him. "Y/N, you are unbelievably gorgeous. You are. Everything about you is amazing. I've only known you for a day, and you're already one of the most incredible women I've met. I feel like I've known you for a long time. You're just a kind, good person who happens to also be crazy beautiful. I've had to stop myself from kissing you the entire night" he confesses, stroking your cheek

You grin up at him and start laughing, a small tear falling on his hand which he wipes away. "You're amazing, you know that? Why couldn't you just be an asshole, that would make not falling for you so much easier" you joked.

His eyes crinkled as he smiled and shrugged, pulling your face up as he captured your lips with his. You both closed your eyes, smiling into the kiss. You wrapped your hands around him, tugging him closer. He laughed against your lips and moved his hand to the back of your head to deepen the kiss. You moaned softly into the kiss, getting completely lost in the moment.

"FOUND THEM!!" you heard Jordan yell, causing you both to break apart startled. You looked and saw your friend wrapped around Jordan and the rest of the group gawking at you both.

Alex and you both laugh, you hid your face in his neck as he laughed louder and cradled your head, kissing the top of it. "Come on hun, let's go" Alex said, grabbing your hand and walking over to the rest of the group.

You guys all had too much to drink after that and had to get another cab home. You, Alex and one of his buddies were in the back. Alex couldn't keep his hands off you the whole way home, not that you minded. You were thoroughly wrapped up in him, sitting on his lap drunkenly yelling Bohemian Rhapsody with the rest of the car. Alex was laughing heartily at your singing as he joined you, hands rubbing up and down your sides. The song concluded and a slower song came on. You leaned back into his chest and closed your eyes happily. Alex started placing light kisses along your neck, going down to your shoulder. You moaned softly then started laughing, suddenly remembering there were other people in the car. You shifted and looked back at Alex giving him a warning glance.

"Hunny, they're toasted. I doubt they even realize what planet they're on" he chuckles

"I can't keep quiet if you keep kissing on my neck like that" you said with a smirk. That got his attention. You felt him grow underneath you.

"Then I guess I should kiss somewhere else" he said slyly. He looked around to see if anyone was paying attention, which they weren't. He gently pulled your dress just past your shoulders as he placed feather light kisses along them, moving to the middle of your upper back as his hand moved down to your hip. You groaned and grinded yourself down into his lap, making him audibly groan in return. He bit your shoulder softly, causing you to jump and let out a little squeal.

"You little...." you trailed off, too turned on to care. You couldn't see him, but you knew he was smirking against your skin.

"Little what Y/N, hmm?" He hummed, sliding his far hand closest to the door under your dress and lightly tracing your panties as he made his way closer to your core.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you leaned your head back and whispered "kiss me" to him. He needed no further instruction as he captured your lips in a hungry kiss. You both softly moaned into each others mouths. His tongue traced your bottom lip asking for entrance and you gladly accepted, tongues dancing with each other. He bit your lip as he slid his hand under your panties. You gasped, rolling your hips to meet his touch. Just as his hand started to move to your middle, the taxi stopped.

You both broke apart, coming back to reality. Everyone else in the car seemed oblivious to what had just happened. You giggled, pressing your forehead against his as you both laughed.

"They didn't see a damn thing" he laughed, giving your kiss a cheek before opening the door for you. You were at his and Marco's place. Jordan and Taylor were still attached at the hip, which made you smile.

"Y/N!! I love you!" She yelled drunkenly.

You laughed and yelled back "I love you too!"

The rest of the group headed inside. Alex stopped by the door and pulled you against him. "You are so beautiful, you know that?"

You blushed again and smiled up at him. "If you say so!" You giggled. He looked down at you smugly.

"See! I knew I'd get you to admit it!" He joked

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to slap that smirk right off of your smug face" you joked. He laughed heartily at that and kissed your forehead.

"Fair enough. So.. should we go continue where we left off my gorgeous lady?" he asked hopefully.

You smiled widely at him and nodded. Yes Ivar, I think we should". You didn't need to turn around to know that he was smirking.

@thevikingsheaux @stardustandbucky what do you guys think??

[juvellita]

My top 5 voltage guys&reason

Top 1: Eisuke Ichinomiya, KBTBB

Ahhh top 1 was hard to pick because I like Kazuomi Shido more than eisuke at this point. However since Masquerade Kiss just came out, he cannot beat Eisuke YET in terms of relationship development.

His devotion to MC: I know a lot of people have mentioned this, but he really did change a lot after season 1. Contradicting to his cold attitude, he is over-the-heels with mc LOL. I feel like he is just about or more obsessed with MC than mc herself. He just doesnt express it. (And I like how he can say 'gtfo of my face' without flinching at all lololol) If you dont believe me, read his POV bcs they are SO PRECIOUS AHHHHHHHH

His overprotective behavior: He would do ANYTHING to keep mc safe. So far, I feel like there is NO other character who would go far as Eisuke, in order to keep mc safe ( telling her to not leave the penthouse, increasing security at his hotel, watching her 24/7 through security camera, flying to Japan within 48 hours to prevent Mc from dying, etc...). He would do anything to keep her smile.

His absolute loyalty: At this point, cheating is out of question for Eisuke. He will pretty much say "gtfo of my face" to any women who tries to cling onto him. He emotionally depends on MC, and MC is the only light source that Eisuke has. If someone were to hurt mc in anyway, ..say bye to life.

Jealousy: The way he shows his jealousy, is so adorably...hot? LOL. But I think it's just his excuse to give mc very... harsh 'punishment'...

Sexual appeal(?): ... Do I need to say more on this? LOL.

Top 2: Kazuomi Shido, MK

Yes, Kazuomi and Eisuke come in close tie. But since I don't really know Kazuomi that well, I couldn't place him in Top 1.

Perceptive: Regardless of his 'womanizing' mask he wears, Kazuomi is very perceptive. In fact, MC even mentions that Kazuomi was the first one who saw through her 'agent' mask (I know they are supposed to be love interest but not the point here). He even figured out MC's identity(or rather had a "hunch") earlier in his main story. (I know many people might say, mc wasn't a good spy, but let's just follow along the storyline for now ;-;) It was the 'real' mc he saw that made him fall in love with her, not the 'agent/Arisa' MC. He even figured out who MC's boss was by looking at him for 2 seconds.

His carefree personality: Even though he is third wealthiest person in the world, he certainly does not act like one. He doesn't mind walking around chaotic streets in his casual clothes, getting soaked by rain, and going to 'cheap' restaurant for some drink. He also isn't a 'tyrant' type boss who wants absolute obedience. He wants someone to speak out to him when needed; someone who sees and treats him as an equal. He also didn't mind 'begging' to mc when he wanted those ice cream ♡

Secretly loyal(?): No one has access to his apartment(above his office), except Kei, Yuzuru, and later on MC. MC is the first female who gains access to his apartment. HE IS ALSO PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL OKAY

Childish side: His sugar addict, and how he smiles whenever he sees the 'real' mc.

Appearance: yes... do I need to say more about this? 😏

I can't wait to see more of Kazuomi's character development! (I hope it doesn't disappoint me..)

Top 3: Shun Randoh, KoP

Devotion/Loyalty: He gains his "famous playboy" title after his first love broke his heart, when he showed his first movie to her. He reverts back to his old self when he meets mc. In his epilogue, it is clear that he has no intention of playing around with different women anymore. He clings to MC, as much as mc clings to him. He basically tells mc that he wouldn't mind if mc spammed him with texts/calls, and followed him to his work ♡. It is unthinkable for him to love anyone other than MC now.

Lovey-dovey/sweet: In his epilogue, when Shun returns from Okinawa, he kisses mc in front of other paradise guys and tells her that he missed mc SO much over 3 days. He even tells mc that he doesn't want to 'share' mc with others LOL.

How he tells off mc's bitoch jerk ass ex-husband: You. Tell. HIM.👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 (AND SLAP HIS FACE MC 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏). slappingisn'tenoughsomeonepunchthatjerk

Top 4: Kiryu, EITM

Self-sacrificial : In his main story, sequel and Wedding arch, he let's himself get hurt (where he could have almost died) in order to protect mc from danger. Once they started loving each other, he doesn't blame on mc for getting in danger. He instead reassures that he will protect her.

Banter: He always banters with mc and other ayakashi. He messes with mc, bcs its part of his hobby, while he thinks other ayakashi are annoying af lol (often cockblocks mc and Kiryu's romantic mood). Whenever the story is about to get gloomy or too heavy, other ayakashi shows up and upsets Kiryu LOL (one of my favorite moments). Even if he thinks other ayakashi are annoying, he still thanks them for protecting MC when she is in trouble.

His lucky charm: Kiryu's lucky charm turns out to be his first fan letter, which is from MC. He have treasured that letter ever since he got it.

TOP 5: Aoi Shirafuji, BUM & Partheno, SCM

I couldn't choose one, so I grouped two together lol

I know Butler Until Midnight and Star Crossed Myth are discontinued.. which is really sad bcs those two used to be my favorite game, after kbtbb. I wished Butler Until Midnight would at least continue until their wedding route was released. But that didn't come true 😭😭😭.

Treating MC like a princess: Both Aoi and Partheno, treats mc like a princess, often by going with what she wants to do. Or acting as a prince, to make mc feel like she is a princess. In Partheno's sequel, partheno wakes mc up with a kiss, within the line of "princess cannot be awaken without a kiss from the prince". In several Aoi's substories, such as One year servitude and tropical, he has shown MC 'princely' side of his (saying stuff like mc is his private princess, calling mc adorable, etc).

Devotion: Aoi and Partheno both had an issue of not knowing the definition of 'trust'. Aoi, brainwashed by his family, only knew about reviving his family's amusement park. Partheno never experienced 'trust' because gods/goddesses knew he was 'different'. After meeting mc and falling in love with her, now that they experienced 'trust', they both would have NO problem doing anything for MC, as long as she doesn't lose her smile/happiness.

Not afraid to tell public that they are dating: In Aoi's Afternoon temptation, he introduces mc to his parents and his parents suggests that he should bring mc to future parties, as his date. At the party, he surprises his friends by telling them that MC is his girlfriend. He also had no trouble showing love to mc in public. This is similar with Partheno. He has no problem showing affection in public.

I think this wraps up my list... I probably have more reasons why I like those characters but I cant think any LOL.

Still sad about Butler Until Midnight 😭😭

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

Chat: Jo + Gray romcoms

(for lexy)

Jo> She likes pointless fluff movies. I’m being told I have to watch Friends With Benefits next after I finish the last 20 mins of the first half of this series

Jo> :l

Jo> *actually doesnt mind that movie just finds it hysterical Jo does*

Grey> Is Friends with Benefits the one with Mila Kunis?

Jo> Yep

Grey> Who’s the male lead in that?

Jo> Justin Timberlake

Grey> Ah

Jo> It’s kind of hilarious that Jo likes that movie

Grey> Because of how she is about relationships?

Jo> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_CVAI_twO0 and then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA6M-V4oHso first 20 seconds just… kind of amazingly hilarious.

Jo> She’s somewhere between or actually boh main characters at once

Jo> (Also the Train in the background of the first cracks me up)

Grey> TRAIN IN THE BACKGROUND LOL

Jo> Yeeeep

Grey> You linked me the sex scene? LOL *signs in*

Jo> Its the end of the crappy romcom movie that the girl wanted to watch and the guy spent the entire time paying out.

Jo> LOL

Jo> Yes

Jo> Because

Jo> First 20 seconds is magic

Jo> …hell the entire thing is magic

Jo> And hilariously like if Jo were a guy and a girl at the same time

Jo> honest to god

Grey> “I sneeze sometimes after I come” *drink everywhere*

Jo> Wait for it

Grey> HES SINGING

Jo> LOL

Grey> “WHOA TOO FAR”

Jo> “When women start to scream it can me misconstrued”

Grey> *dead*

Grey> So much for just once

Jo> LOL Yeeeep.

Jo> Can you see kind of where I get my amusement from?

Grey> Yep

Jo> “Grab my hair.” “Kiss my neck”

Grey> *dies at butt part*

Jo> *nodnod*

Grey> Oh my god

Grey> Oh man mom walking in at the end

Jo> Lol yep

Jo> I find so much fucking amusement from that movie and the fact it’s number 3 on Jo’s fave ‘romcom’s

Grey> What are the first two?

Jo> Pretty Woman and Miss Congeniality

Grey> Awwwww Miss Congeniality. "So her top favorites are about a hooker finding a sugar daddy, a tomboy becoming a barbie doll and two friends fucking?“ Gray that’s not… no.

Jo> "Got a problem with that?” Gray. Darling. No… …though he has a point but no…

Grey> “Other than your taste in movies is shit. No.” He’s got the air of implying about him.

Jo> “…I’m just glad it was top three then, I’m sure you’d find the next two just as shit…” Jo is well aware the implication and I am snickering my head off

Grey> “And what are those, Legally Blonde and The House Bunny?” *pets her*

Jo> “…no. Clueless and a tie between 500 Days of Summer and Runaway Bride….

Jo> ” She knows how bad those are, but theyre better than Legally Blonde and House Bunny at least. (What’s Your Number, Stardust, Legally Blonde, You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless In Seattle round out the top ten though)

Grey> “*snickering*” Yeah. The House Bunny is shit but Legally Blonde isn’t bad imo. It’s got Matt Davis in it for one so…

Jo> “…oh go ahead. Say it.” Lol yeah House Bunny is. Legally Blonde’s pretty alright - the second is dreadful though.

Grey> “Say what that you have horrible picks and clearly just want some guy to swoop in a rescue you?” Second one doesnt exist in my mind. Because I like the first one too much to admit it.

Jo> “You just don’t like romantic comedies and most of those involve free thinking, independent women who can survive all on their own without a man…sorta.” LOL I cried my way through it. In pain.

Grey> “Except they all end up with a guy and the whole plot of them is either "fucks a dude and keeps fucking him” or “discovers she’s ladylike after all”.“ I saw it on tv once, attempted to watch then switched the channel 5 minutes in because it was hurting

Jo> "Pretty Woman is about how you aren’t just your job - that there is more to a person than just that; Miss Congeniality is about doing the right thing, and that everyone can be more than what their intial appearance might suggest; FoB is about how… sometimes worrying about the labels of things can ruin something that’s working and that …getting over that shit’s for the best…” It’s dreadful..

Grey> “Uh huh.” Yeah I dont know what charm the first one has that the second one is missing but you can definitely tell it’s missing it. Same with Miss Congeniality, first movie is cute second movie makes you want to tear out your eyes

Jo> (Oh god, I just realised the girl in Friends with Benefits at the start is going to go see Pretty Woman at the cinema as some romcom weeklong thing and her then bf dumps her out front and she’s already missed the boots)

Grey> *DEAD*

Jo> “…shut up, alright. God, a girl is allowed to like pointless fluff sometimes!” LOL So so true. The same goes for Bring It On. *crying at this movie again now*

Jo> (“You know I love this movie! If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman who fall in love, then anyone can. *wistful sigh/tone*” *dying*)

Grey> “I would think you get enough of that with the runt.” Oh my god that’s hilarious

Jo> “…I think your brother knows better than to..freak me out with that sort of thing. Reality, fiction, don’t cross the streams..much.” I know. I forgot it and now Im dead.

Grey> “So he’s not constantly trying to bring you flowers or jewelry or anyt of that other crap? I’m surprised he has so much restraint.” No wonder Jo likes the movie

Jo> “No, he’s not. Seems you don’t know him quite as well as you think…” Oh yeah. … http://youtu.be/GvBNVJjhj4Q?t=11s Just… start o the film is pretty much this. And yep. It totally does.

Grey> “Or he doesn’t like you as much as he says he does.” I feel bad for Justin’s character cause that bitch crazy

Grey> “Next time just shit on my face cause that’s the same thing” no it isnt lady

Jo> Wait for the explanation of Mila’s character

Grey> WOW Andy’s a dick

Jo> LOL Yuuuuup

Grey> *spit take at Justin*

Jo> Just wait

Jo> It gets more

Grey> *DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD*

Jo> “Or maybe he likes me as much as he says he does and doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable or pressured and is making sure I’m okay with things.” I KNOW RIGHT?! AND THATS JUST THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE

Grey> “If he liked you as much as he said, he’d get you flowers. Because that’s what Grey does, flowers and chocolate and bubble baths with candles and rose petals and all the other lame shit because that’s what he does, he does the lame "romantic” crap and he likes doing that. So he either doesnt actually care that much or he’s completely terrified of you and is too scared to even approach the matter"

Grey> That’s hilarious

Grey> Especially Justin’s just completely lunatic of the girlfriend. Like Mina’s guy was just lazy and a jerk but Justin’s girl was fucking monkeynuts crazy

Jo> “He would not - he might want to, but right now? He wouldn’t. I prefer non-materialistic things anyway so…” I know. She’s amazing. She keeps calling too. I seriously recommend it if you have a few hours to spare or fill or are bored sometime because that movie is just great. Better than No Strings (the Portman/Kutcher one)

Grey> “If he wouldnt its because you’re scaring him. But hey if you’re cool with him being too scared to say what he wants then….” It does look a lot funnier than Natalie’s

Jo> “I am not /scaring/ him. He knows he can say whatever he likes to me or bring up stuff…. …” It is. I’ve seen both several times, Friends With is much better. The original Coke to Nat’s new.

Grey> “Sure he does. That’s why he didn’t tell you he loved you for the longest time. Because he’s totally not afraid to talk to you.” I feel like I should just watch both then Black Swan to mindfuck myself but I can’t right now lol

Jo> “He does, and… that’s none of your business, and it wasn’t 'the longest time’, was barely three months after..” LOL Oh god that would be dreadful.

Grey> “Uh huh. And he hasnt really said it again has he?” Yep it would

Jo> “He has too. …a few times.” Brainfuck indeed.

Grey> “And I bet you know exactly how many because it doesnt happen a lot.” Completely

Jo> “…your point being? People don’t have to say they love one another all the time, I’m sure you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve said it.”

Grey> “Because I’m a arrogant asshole monster who doesn’t really give two shits to get emotional about things. Does that sound like Grey to you?”

Jo> “…no. Sounds a little like me though, so instead - how often has Anna said it to you, huh? Just because he doesn’t say it often doesn’t mean he doesn’t know he can ask about things or talk about stuff.”

Grey> “More than five times less than twenty. He’s stupid though, how would you know he knew he could ask if he doesnt feel like he could say it? Doesnt matter now I guess with that collar on you he’ll be too freaked out to do much of anything”

Jo> “..Oh. ….Because he knows me? Because neither of us is going to judge or fly off the handle? Because I haven’t gone running yet? ….shut up, fuck you.”

Grey> “If he knows you he knows that your terrified of getting attached and won’t bring it up for fear of driving you away. I’m just stating facts.”

Jo> “Otherwise known as caring and respecting a loved ones boundaries. And you say that like we’re not attached, because we are, so shove off. …you’re being a dick with the truth.”

Grey> “Otherwise known as being spineless. Wait until he wants to get married then see how attached you are. Better than just being a dick right?”

Jo> “There’s a difference - one is being respectful, the other has no basis other than fear for it. …. ………. Let’s not talk about that, ever, again. Oh shut up..”

Grey> ���So how do you know he’s doing it out of respect instead of fear? Just wait.”

Jo> “Because, I just do. …And I said again…”

Grey> “Uh huh. You’re going to run when you see that little box.”

Jo> “…. ….I’m not going to run..” Mental commentary: “I’m going to politely say I need time to think, excuse myself and go hide under the covers. The fastest will be a brisk walk. Yes. No running. It’d be fine.”

Grey> “Yes you are. Watching him bend his knee and go into his pocket for it is just going to scare you so badly you’re going to take off running like a scared deer.” Awwww poor Jo

Jo> “No. I’m… I have more restraint than that even if that /isn’t/ my response.” Think she’d feel bad for it but..unless she suggests it she’ll probably freak.

Grey> “You’re right, cause he’s probably going to do it in public. You wouldnt want to make a scene. All those eyes on you expecting to say yes especially his when he looks so happy and expectant.” He wouldnt ask. I mean like… probably never unless they actually had a kid. Because he knows it wouldnt work

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/VIirTZQWJBg?t=30s *crying* Guess Jo has a penis where her vaginas supposed to be)

Grey> (SO DEAD. Oh Woody Harrelson you are always hilarious)

Jo> “…shut up. How do you know the answer would be no? Or that I wouldn’t be the one askin’? Everyone’s always calling me the boy of us…” Cue gray laughing head off. And yeah, no - I’d figured he probably wouldn’t, what’s sad is a marriage would work but proposing the idea wouldnt. (IKR? He’s a gay sports writer)

Grey> “Because you don’t do commitment? You… ask him… *laughing*” *nods* He’d figure they couldnt therefore wouldnt ask unless its a kid in which case he’d feel like “this is a family now” and ask. (He’s hilarious. I lost it)

Jo> “I do sometimes. …. *tries not to laugh as well* Yeah, okay shut up..” Yep - which I think he might be able to get a yes if he didn’t say it was cause she was preg or had had a baby, mde the family comment instead. (LOL Yeeep)

Grey> “Fine. That was funny enough I’ll shut up. *still laughing*” *nods* I think his approach would be something like “I’d like for us to be a family. And I want to be officially part of that family.” Plus that way if something happens to Jo the kids stay with him. (Armpit girl? Do I even want to know…)

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/GJucbfuvh-A armpit girl)

Grey> (Oh Justin baby what is it with you and crazy broads)

Jo> “Glad you enjoyed it… *fails at holding back a giggle* Okay seriously, I’m not that bad.. or I’m not the worst, so shuddup.” Yeah, that would actually probably work. (Yeeeep)

Grey> “Not the worst? Right okay compared to like me or something.” And of course Grey would have the sense enough not to try to make a big affair of it, nor would he want to

Jo> “There are worse people out there without going straight to you, Gray.” Yep yep - big affair woul get a no.

Jo> (Oh god, I forgot the guy in this has a stutter when he was nervous)

Grey> “*indignantly* Are not. I’m the worst. End of discussion.” *slaps Gray for wanting to look like the horrible monster again* I think the closest he’d come to that was asking if she wanted her mother there or any close friends. (So dead)

Jo> “Sure thing, I just meant there were people between the two of us on the worse scale is all.” *snickers at him* lol true true. Knowing Jo she’d not want much, or until after. (Yeeep)

Grey> “Nope. You’re close enough to me there’s no one left between us.” *nods* Jesse go to bed jo harvelle gray chat complete Aug 21st, 2012

[faithis2beawake]

dare you to answer all 104 of those questions!! 😝

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? ~ god idk probably “woah fuck what happened?” but i wouldn’t hate it tbh lolol

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?~ we’re really good friends (: a little distant atm but purposefully so

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?~ depends on what drugs they’re into

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?~ yes

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?~ sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?~ so many times

7. What does your last received text say?~ “like one of my most favorite people” ily cara <3

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?~ just once!

9. Where was your last kiss at?~ in a car

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?~ i don’t have a sister

11. What do you drink in the morning?~ usually just water. sometimes tea sometimes coffee

12. Where did you sleep last night?~ in a bed, thankfully. at my grandmother’s house.

13. Do you think relationships are hard?~ yeah i do

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?~ probably

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?~ nope!

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?~ that depends on whether i have to go out or not. i don’t like having to be out in the rain but i love it when i’m able to stay in

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?~ i do (:

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?~ pajama pants :0

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?~ i like to think so yes

20. Does anyone like you?~ i think so (:

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?~ i sure have

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?~ nope she’s only a little gay but not completely (;

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?~ sure

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?~ absolutely i rlly want one

25. In the past week have you cried?~ hell yeah

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?~ i don’t really know hm a mix of several different breeds

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?~ in the shower !!! i dont wanna get the floor wet

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?~ nope

29. Do you think you’re old?~ nah

30. Do you like text messaging?~ sure

31. What type of day are you having?~ in some ways it’s been a really good day & in other ways it hasn’t really so i’m not entirely sure

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?~ not really. i think they’re really cute but i feel like it would be kind of annoying to deal with

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?~ warm. but cold weather has its perks too

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?~ yes

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?~ uhhh god idk probably a fling atm

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?~ i’m somewhat complicated but i try not to be

37. What song are you listening to?~ i’m not listening to a song :0

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?~ usually

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?~ now that i think about it?? no

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?~ well uhhh they’re fucking gorgeous & also have the best personality. they make me smile.

41. When did you last receive a text message?~ yesterday

42. What is wrong with you right now?~ i’m terrified of commitment & idk how to get over ittt

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?~ i like to think i know her pretty well but i can’t say for sure

44. Does anyone disgust you?~ sure

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?~ i’d go on a date but i wouldn’t date ya feel

46. Are you in a good mood right now?~ i have no idea stop askingggg

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?~ my grandmother

48. What color shirt are you wearing?~ it’s like a plum color

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?~ yeah

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?~ yeah. & i try really hard not to give up on people.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?~ absolutely not

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?~ yes

53. Do you like rain?~ when i’m indoors

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?~ nah as long as they’re healthy about it

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?~ yes

56. Do you like to cuddle?~ yes

57. Are you shy?~ unfortunately but i’m trying to get over it

58. Do you get along with girls?~ fuck yeah

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?~ yes

60. What do you carry with you at all times?~ ew my phone i guess

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?~ absolutely wtf

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?~ yeah !

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?~ no

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?~ !! yes

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?~ ?? idk what this means why is cute in quotation marks

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?~ 21, 20, 20

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?~ neither

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?~ leopard print

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?~ i have a fucking troy sticker on my car but that’s it lol i need to fix that

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?~ i have no idea

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?~ iphone. it’s what i’m used to unfortunately

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?~ i can’t even remember

73. Do you like diet soda?~ yes but i don’t really drink it

74. What color are the walls in your room?~ i don’t currently have a room

75. Are you 16 or older?~ yes

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?~ no

77. Do you have a job?~ no

78. What are your initials?~ KMP

79. Did you ever have braces?~ yes

80. Are you from the south?~ unfortunately

81. What does your last status on facebook say?~ it was just explaining that i’m transferring & changing my major blah blah blah

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?~ no not really

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?~ mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?~ when i was very little

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?~ Spiderman far from home !!

86. Do you smoke?~ no

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?~ heels i guess

88. Is your phone touch screen?~ !!! how old are these questions

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?~ a little bit of both :P

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?~ i dont think so

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?~ pool. i’m afraid of the unknown

92. Have you ever made out in a car?~ yes

93. …Had sex in a car?~ no

94. Are you single or in a relationship?~ uhh technically single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?~ thinking lmao

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?~ on the 4th

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?~ i guess so

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?~ sort of

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?~ no

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?~ i dont think so

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?~ lmao no

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: oh fuck idk i’m the worst gay ever

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?~ nah

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?~ noo. no.

thank you so much that was fun !! xxx

[crafiet]

1-50 OC questionnaire !!

ill use ary

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?anyone else paranoid about people stealing their unpublished work or ideas or name bc me. her name is ary and i found it from a generator [lmao so original] and i thought it was cute. her last name is like pretty standard for fantasy and it inspired me to have everyone elses last names in a similar vibe2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?WELL lmao shes had a lot. prisoner #22876, the wraith, princess ary. ive scrapped all except the prisoner one and u can guess how she got it3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? she was raised among royals and nobles so she has a lot of good memories with her parents and other kids her age running around doing dumb shit. most of her bad memories happen once she becomes a teenager4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? she has an overwhelming love for her parents, she idolizes them heavily and is grateful for how much they taught her. a good memory is probably them teaching her how to use magic for the first time and she being unable to control it and almost burning her eyebrows off lmao5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?no siblings6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?tbh i havent thought much about their education system as young kids, since its not really relevant and i dont tend to worldbuild stuff that never shows up. however she did attend an academy specifically for her magic caste and she had a fun time up until some shit went down and she deserted. shes pretty competitive and liked versing her friends7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? she was one of those weird kids who preferred hanging out with her parents over everybody else. so she had one good friend in the academy whos still her friend today, but otherwise she would race home and annoy her mum lol8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? no pets. she has a soft spot for horses though, because she has had so many in her “career”9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? horses like her, i guess they can sense shes good with them. at one point in the novel she sees some jackals and is afraid of them so shes probably not a dog person10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?she doesnt have anything against kids, but shes not very good with them, shes never been one for baby talk or dumbing herself down. in one draft she takes care of some adolescents and lets cyri take over bc he loves kids lol11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?nahh12. What is their favourite food? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh13. What is their least favourite food?uhHHHHHH14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?man idk, its not like my characters arent well rounded realistic people but im not gonna know her favourite fucking colour bc it doesnt matter in the story lmao15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?i would say shes ok, she doesnt burn anything but shes not a gourmet chef [despite having lessons as a child]16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? ohh i used to have an answer for this but she probably doesnt now just bc shes pretty nomadic and usually only has the clothes on her back lmao17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?cameras dont exist in her world my dudee. but if she lived in modern day which ive thought of, shed be the type to take a bunch of pics of her friends and stuff she likes bc she likes having the memory in a solid form, her actual memory is shit lol18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything elsehmm i suppose shed be a horror fan, and shed love making fun of stupid characters19. What’s their least favourite genres?man idk. romance? shes kinda #2edgy4me20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?hmm i think shes more a soft music fan, just something idly playing in the background. ex. a bard playing something for the crowd while she kicks back w friends21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?she has a short temper. shes easily triggered with any emotion so shes quick to argue or whatever22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?id like to think shes witty, and she always says stuff to peoples faces bc a bitch has rabies and wants to fight apparently23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?bad memory, shes gone through physical torture and isolation [wew] so. shes better at names, growing up with royals she got to learn a bunch of family names etc24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?a light sleeper. crazy light. and she can sleep anywhere, so she has no problems sleeping on the ground unlike others25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?she pretends to be stoic but when u get to know her her humour’s pretty lame, shell laugh at anything if just to make u feel better26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? she tends to hide them under an indifferent mask27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?despite being able to hide her emotions, she does succumb to fear a lot and cries openly, but will continue to do whatever shes doing through tears so shes scary in that regard28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?abandonment is a huge one. shes not a fan of predatory animals. shes brave though, and will do whatevers necessary, kinda like unwilling exposure therapy lol29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? she doesnt like exploiting people so shell never use someones fear against them. for friends, shell protect them and warn them if something like that is gonna happen30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?lmao she walks or goes horse riding everywhere and is severely malnourished31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?i just wrote a scene like this!! shes louder in general, laughs more. her guard comes down more and more with every drink. she can hold her liquor pretty well but when shes blacked out shes pretty much useless32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?she prefers comfort and mobility over everything else. she tends to dress pretty masculine, and never does anything with her hair. does she know what a brush is?33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?...................ask her lol idk. probably just basic comfy ones34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?she is 5′9. when shes healthy, she has a willowy figure but more on the boxy side than curvy. she doesnt really attribute much to her body [imagine living life without dysmorphia mfg]35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? i dont she counts anything as a ‘guilty’ pleasure. she just enjoys what she enjoys, fuck whatever people think36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?she loves fishing! she used to do it a lot with her dad. i dont think shes a particularly good singer37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?yeah she likes reading. she reads pretty fast and prefers nonfiction. she thinks poetry can get too pretentious lmao38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?#deep but i think she admires kindness and care in others. she wishes she was a better person at times and wants to be able to express how much people meant to her39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? lmao letters are the only thing in her world. if she lived w us shed probably be all about texting 600 in a row and then calling when u dont reply “what do u mean you cant answer. its called INSTANT messaging for a reason!!”40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?she stays awake through sheer willpower shes a beast41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?shes bi/pan. not really a thing about labels in her world. she loves long hair and soft personalities42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?plot spoilers!!43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?shes not religious. there is a heavy theme of religion in the novel [which i need to write better in the second draft] but she was kinda skeptical as a child and probably lost faith entirely after she went through some harrowing stuff 44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? winter. she prefers the cold and hates heat45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? i think people see her as scarier than she is. shes a formidable opponent and does not give a fuck what you say, but her reputation precedes her a little bit, a lot of things she did out of fear or force are seen as ‘badass’ and ‘brave’46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?shes a compulsive liar, and a good one at that. so she tends to show herself differently to almost everyone she meets, but usually its a false potrayal47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?ugh she haaaaaates formal stuff and parties. she grew up royal and had to suffer through many a dinner and gathering. at this point in her life youd never get her in a dress that impeded her movement. shes ok with dresses but really big poofy ones she refuses to wear48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? in our world shed be one for a chill house party. show up with a case of beer, sit outside by the barbie, listen to music and talk shit. shes not good at organising so she doesnt tend to host, and if she were dragged by a friend itd probably be to a formal event or with people she didnt know so shed just sulk in the corner49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?she abandoned her material possessions before the story a. bc she was forced and b. they bring back way too many painful memories50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? food, change of clothes, weapons. thats about it. she tries not to be super nasty and find an inn to shower and stuff but shes also poor af

[personagf-moved]

alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs: 

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love 

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week 

h // horror yes or horror no:  H O R R O R   Y E S   B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc. 

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that. 

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol 

u // underwear colour: she be black 

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it 

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun 

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu 

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho. 

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO 

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

 What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over 

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back.  also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.  

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

[eligrantbooks]

gotta vent about my day real quick

highlights of the day

> be professional ghostwriter.

Agreed to edit a 25000 word segment of a finished manuscript for a much loved regular client, who said the MC’s dialogue needed to be punched up. Easy enough. I figured it would take a few hours.

Was briefly excited to discover the manuscript was for a concept I had outlined and written several chapters for a few months ago.

Excitement rapidly dwindles as I realize that beloved client has hired another ghostwriter to write the majority of the book. Which would be fine, except this other ghostwriter has no fucking idea what they are doing.

Formatting is a god damn disaster and I spend several hours just getting the document into a workable condition.

You ever open a word doc, look at the navigation pane, and just see a wall of blank links, because someone applied the header formatting somewhere and then just hit enter a million times instead of using a page break like a civilized god damn human being?

in the middle of this forest of blank headers, actual chapter titles are scattered at random, and also they only applied the header to roughly one out of every five chapters or so, you know, just, when they felt like it. when the spirit took them. when the stars aligned. when the feng shui was right.

Also, apparently they like the way first line indenting looks but don’t know how to make word do that (spoiler: its easy as shit and takes like two clicks) so every once in a while they start manually hitting tab before every line, until they get distracted and stop for a while, luring you into a false sense of security before they remember and start doing it again.

Sometimes, when a scene transitions but they dont want to just end the chapter for some reason, they break it up with spaces. Other times, they like to use asterisks. Once or twice, just for flavor, they throw in one of those page width lines that word makes when you type a line of hyphens.

There is random highlighting in places, for no discernible reason.

Once I have the document formatted in a way I can bear to work with, I start actually reading through it. About the first seven chapters were written by the client. They’re cheesy but solid.

Then I get to chapter eight, and the suspicions i had begun to form while putting the formatting through traction (namely that whoever did this was a fuckwit) quickly crystallized into a shining certainty that my beloved client had mistakenly hired An Ass Clown.

Not just An Ass Clown, but An Ass Clown who thought 50 Shades was a beautiful love story, actually.

And they gave This Ass Clown, this literary reprobate, this paste eating remedial english mother fucker, my outline.

let me clarify that i did not expect to have sole control of this story when i produced the outline for beloved client, and I was okay with that. That’s how it works. If I’d been dead set on writing this myself, i wouldn’t have sold the outilne to beloved client. but it really rubs salt in the wound to have spent hours of my life crafting the bones of this story, which i really liked and was excited to see take shape

and then find out it has been put into the pie fondling hands

of An Ass Clown.

first hint that something has gone drastically wrong: the arrival of completely unnecessary and ridiculous fantasy names for things.

“oh we dont drink coffee in this book. it’s kofee. at least until three chapters from now when i forget and it becomes kofe. Oh, and watch out for those thornaby bushes! I’m going to misspell that one literally every time I use it! It’s entirely possible that this isn’t a fantasy name at all and I just have a small seizure whenever I try to type the word thorn bush!”

second omen of my impending anuerism: phonetically written accents which are so comically stereotypical and inaccurate that native speakers of that accent should be entitled to financial compensation, except they can’t even stick to the stereotype accurately, producing gems such as  “It’s not safe in that there pen with ‘em swine, young miss.” I don’t even know what accent that’s supposed to represent. To top it off these accent abominations are sprinkled in with all the consistency and reliability of a lactose intolerant cheese enthusiast’s bowel movements.

But this, I tell myself, moving on, is not my problem. I just need to punch up the mcs dialogue. It’ll be fine. I can do this. I just need to take this shit: “A fond idea, but I doubt I have that ability.” I joked. “I can’t imagine living without true sunshine. Even the triplet moons must shine less brightly without their sister sun.” and make it… not like that.

Except, and here’s where I start hitting the real roadblock guys

this book is in first person.

essentially, the entire novel is the MC talking.

So sure I can change the spoken lines, but her internal monologue

which is, i remind you, the entire narrative

her internal monologue is going to keep being maggie gyllenhal’s character from The Secretary if her copy of the script had been swapped with just a binder full of sonnets written by a middle school english class during the Shakespeare unit.

I get to chapter ten around three in the afternoon. I have been working steadily, with an unusual degree of focus thanks to my recent adderal prescription, since ten in the morning.

this is where shit begins to go truly bananas.

this is a YA beauty and the beast type fantasy

that good fun indulgent shit that’s almost as enjoyable to write as it is to read

usually. previously. before i had to endure this traumatic twelve hour experience.

Chapter ten is the first big “dinner” scene. this book isn’t being shy about pulling from the source material, but that’s fine. the beast “apologizes” (heavy quotes there) for having earlier used magic to force the heroine to answer his questions truthfully. They talk and almost seem to making progress for a bit, and then have a fight and storm off. Standard stuff.

Except, uh, the beast’s apology is, essentially “Yeah I shouldn’t have done that.” “so you’re apologizing?” “no but it’s the best you’re going to get so deal with it.”

and the headstrong, independent heroine who wears pants and wrestles pigs and dont need no man

just kinda rolls with this. There’s giggling.

They have their big dramatic fight, exit stage left, much angst and todo.

The next morning heroine wakes up to find the beast has (presumably) snuck into her room while she was sleeping and dumped a bunch of new dresses on her. he has also (apparently) replaced her brain with Bella Swan’s more vapid cousin.

She forgives him instantly. Because pretty dresses. She also starts calling him master, because why not. She has, over night, become the darling submissive Tumblr doms dream of.

This is not a bdsm book. I am eighty percent certain it doesn’t even include soft core smut. I’m telling you this so that you understand this transformation was not a contrivance in order to facilitate kinky sex. I have written a contrived set up to a sex scene or two in my day. This is not that. This is Not what is in the outline. I know, because i wrote the outline. It is My Outline.

No, The Ass Clown just… decided to do this. Apropos of nothing. I’m beginning to think the Ass Clown’s decision making process involves whipping pies at a comically large dartboard. And all the options on the dartboard are just “lol whatever”

By the time I get to chapter eleven, wherein our newly lobotomized heroine is “excited to wear a new frock and please the master!” - direct quote I have given up any pretense of editing dialogue and I am just straight up rewriting shit using the previous garbage as a loose outline.

I have eaten, maybe, three bites of a bowl of oatmeal all day. I have not taken a bathroom break since before noon. I have missed my deadline. Beloved client is concerned. I’m sure I can still do this, I just need a few more hours.

the words sound like truth but my soul knows i am a liar

I frantically restructure scene after scene, deceiving myself each time that it will be the last, and I will be able to get this crazy train back on the rails. But this crazy train has no interest in being on the rails. It’s a direct line no stops right off the edge of the cliffs of insanity.

The beast jumps unpredictably from homicidal rage and threats of violence to jokes and flirting as though he did not just declare her his property and threaten to rip her tongue out a few paragraphs ago. Heroine swoons and sighs and giggles regardless of whether she is dealing with Dr.Jekyll or Christian Gray on PCP.

But I’m still sure I can do this. I’ll just adjust these two full chapters to make her appropriately scared and angry, and then replace this weird conversation here with a heartfelt apology from him and an effort to do better. That will totally work. Unless, you know, it turns out that conversation I want to replace only starts out with them joking and laughing together, and turns into him berating and abusing her mid paragraph of a fuckin montage a page later! But, haha! Why would The Ass Clown ever do that? It would be completely irrational, tonally jarring and out of character! Only a seltzer slinging rainbow suspender-ed peanut butter fumbling son of six fucks would do that.

so of course The Ass Clown did that.

It’s eleven at night. I know when I’m beaten.

I inform beloved client that the Ass Clown has bested me and I can do no more.

She is very understanding.

I send her what I managed and I check the added word count while im at it

i added a full 6,000 words to that manuscript just trying to patch up this sloppy motherfucker’s lopsided prose and gossamer thin understanding of narrative structure

son of a bitch had about as firm a grasp of romance as i currently have on the trembling shreds of my sanity.

their grip on character writing could not be more tenuous if they had first dipped the target brand Hulk Hands which I assume they always have on their person into a barrel of adult-film-grade silicon lubricant and then taken their Leapfrog 2-in-1 Leaptop Touch down a waterslide.

Do you know how much I usually make for 6000 words?

$180.

Do you know how much I made for enduring this ass blasting, which I naively believed I could tackle in a matter of hours?

$100.

You owe me $80 Ass Clown. And I aim to collect.

Also I lost my damn mind for a minute and said the words "i dont know shit about fuck my guy” to my actual father on facebook

so there’s that.

[meggannn]

LOL YOUR ROOMMATE?? I can't stop laughing omg

god did i ever share the full story of what happened with my housemate last year? i think i bitched about her a little bit but here’s the full write-up of my six months with that housemate. unedited and probably full of errors and discrepancies sorry cause im going off entirely from memory

i’ve now moved out of this apartment, but i was there for a year with three other girls. two of them i got along with fine, and we introduced ourselves to each other before we moved in because that’s common courtesy to see if we get along right? but basically before any of us could talk or interview candidates for the last spot in the apartment, this girl, i’m making up a name and calling her emily, this random girl named emily basically came in and signed on for the spot on the lease without talking to any of us. uh, okay? so we eventually all get in a group chat and talk and introduce ourselves and plan to move in. day one:  emily moved in before me and i moved in a few hours later. i walk in and see the kitchen and she’s already covered the fridge with magnets and pictures and paper clippings featuring…. herself. like, a few of them had her friends, but most of the pictures were of her. basically. am i crazy or is that fucking weird? so from the get-go she just seemed……. if not privileged (which i also knew she was later), then definitely some sort of weird type of entitled but i couldn’t tell if it was maybe just cultural differences? (she was russian but had grown up in the states. idk)

anyway. she had this boyfriend who would come over occasionally, it was no problem since we didn’t talk and just waved hi to each other occasionally. but from the first week she and another housemate who lived on the far end of the apartment were both having trouble sleeping because someone else on the floor was blaring their tv loudly all hours of the night in the room next door. after several weeks of not being able to sleep through the night, they’d pretty much had enough and managed to track down whose apartment it was, and it turned out to be this elderly black woman’s apartment. i don’t really know if the woman understood why they were so upset because i think she might have been going slightly senile as well, so i think maybe the tv, or the volume, was something she wasn’t entirely aware she was doing? but the other housemate, i’ll call her veronica (who is more chill but was still upset) understood that this was probably not a fight they wanted to pick. veronica noticed that the elderly woman had a middle-aged male visitor, who looked like family, come visit the woman a few times a week and take care of her/take out the trash etc, so veronica decided to wait until she saw the visitor again to talk to him about lowering the volume or turning the tv off, or maybe getting his relative headphones or something. but emily, like….. kept pushing it every single night. every single night for the first month or so she’d stomp across the floor and rap on the door loud enough to wake up the entire floor (the walls were thin and it wasn’t a big building). and most of the time the woman didn’t respond, but there was one notable time someone else got fed up enough to wake up at 2am and yell at emily (deservedly so) for waking up the whole hall. all of which i heard very clearly because my room was next to the main door to out apt.

things escalated when i overheard emily talking to her friend on the phone about the situation and then she mentioned that in retaliation, she went over in the middle of the night and put vaseline on the woman’s door handle. i was kind of stunned and disgusted that a grown ass adult (she’s at least a few years older than me, i’d guess late 20′s/early 30′s?) would do something like that???? but anyway a few nights later iirc, once again in the middle of the night, i was woken up by a shouting match down the hall because apparently the male relative had come back to check in on who he said was his mother, and HE WAS PISSED, UNDERSTANDABLY SO, AT FINDING MY ROOMMATE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING VASELINE ON THE FLOOR CREVICE UNDER THE DOOR. LIKE. THAT’S NOT JUST PETTY BUT REAL FUCKING DANGEROUS TO DO TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN. he basically shouted at her and she kept talking about how she can’t sleep for months because of the noise, and whatever, but she stomped back to our apartment and they had this argument loudly at the door (remember, my room was right next to the front door). i listened to it for a couple minutes wondering if she would like, acknowledge what she did was wrong? and it became clear that she was so focused on the noise she wasn’t listening to this dude, so i came out and i tried to be a voice of reason. the guy was understandably really pissed that she would do something like that and i apologized for her and said she was wrong to do that (she had stomped off back to her room meanwhile) and he seemed grateful to talk to someone who wasn’t batshit crazy in the meantime so he mentioned that he had grown up in this building all his life before moving out so it hurt to see someone treat his mother this way who had lived here for 50 years or something. and after that i was just thinking like, jesus, this is so not the kind of fight you want to have with a family like this as a white woman in a gentrified apartment complex. like at some point you need to realize this is not your fucking place and if you must settle things, do it civilly or just dip out entirely.

i think emily eventually apologized and he accepted and they found out that the tv wasn’t even coming from the woman’s room at all, but from someone on the floor above who THEY also had had problems with for months.

veronica was away on a trip i think during this climax, but before, while it was still escalating, i was talking with veronica and veronica mentioned she and emily had bitched about the noise to each other often, but veronica said she drew the line when emily basically started making her complaints race-themed ever since she found out the elderly woman was black. etc the complaints turned from “it’s too loud” to “this neighborhood is so ghetto” and “that’s what black ppl are like” and stuff like that. veronica wasn’t cool with that, so she planned on handling any other complaints herself directly so she could resolve things like a normal person, but ever since veronica mentioned that i knew emily was a pos

emily also complained about people partying/drinking on the street outside till ~11pm, which imo isn’t too unreasonable, like normal people do, and basically being too loud or whatever. on some level i get it cause she had to go to sleep early to go to work early, but also at some point i was just wondering how she functioned as a human being in the real world

ANYWAY THE STORY I TELL AT PARTIES IS THIS ONE, THE ONE IN WHICH SHE LEAVES (i will try to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the details you need to understand just how fucking weird it was):

in early november, emily group messaged everyone asking if her boyfriend could come live with us. to her credit she said she wouldn’t do it unless everyone was ok, and she waited to hear back from all of us. i was out of town at the time but i remember being really put off by this idea and i was going to say no, when i noticed that my two other housemates had ALREADY said yes in the chat. just like that. i was stunned. what? like, no follow-up questions or “we dont even really know him” or “how is this gonna work”? were they fucking insane?

i messaged her privately saying i really wasn’t comfortable with it, for xyz reasons. among those being 1) rent, because nowhere did she offer to split the rent five ways instead of four (they were basically going to split her room between them, which, no). 2) fridge/living space, which was small enough with four people to one apartment as it is, and 3) just overall “i dont fucking know him” atmosphere. she messaged back saying she understood, and i got to asking why this was so important to her to do now, because she mentioned she wanted to do it “asap” if we’d said yes.

and this is where my “no” turned into “hell fucking no.” she told me this:

in response to my question of if she’d want to put him on the lease, she said no, she wouldn’t want her boyfriend on the lease in case “something happens so she could just tell him to leave” (raising my question: what, exactly, do you expect to happen? maybe the landlord, who lives in the building, finding out someone’s living here illegally? bc THAT WOULD DO IT FOR ME)

she was marrying him in december which is why she wanted it to happen “soon” so they wouldnt be living apart. i asked why she couldnt just wait until the lease was up to do all this, to which she said:

her boyfriend’s green card (he was russian) had expired so he was now paying month to month and that’s when i realized, oh. bitch he’s using you for a green card marriage and you’re trying to inconvenience all of us instead of owning your life like an adult, or something

at some point during the conversation she like tried to bribe me with a couple hundred extra dollars per month “to cover the cost of the extra utlities/wifi/inconvenience,” which i politely declined. this was when i said basically “look i never got the sense you particularly liked living here (massive understatement) and i think that it’d work out best if you moved out, which you’re clearly already planning to do”

and she did start looking immediately. at some point while she was looking i overheard her talking to veronica mentioning that he was a huge fan of putin and she’d asked him to like, politely, stop?, lmao because she didn’t like his entire yknow politics, and he basically said “i’m sorry, i can’t betray my personal/national identity, i just really believe in putin” or whatever the fuck and i thought to myself, this bitch is marrying him anyway for some godforsaken reason

i don’t know why i hoped that she would be any more considerate moving out than when she moved in, but somehow i was still surprised when the sublet she picked out was someone she never introduced us to or mentioned before, she literally just said “hey here’s your new housemate and when she’s moving in” and dropped us a phone number and facebook page.

one last thing: while emily was moving out, veronica mentioned to me that she was really pleased i stood up to her because she felt massively uncomfortable with the situation too. i asked why she didn’t say something, and she said she talked to emily privately airing out her problems, and emily had managed to talk her into accepting that sort-of bribe privately off message, and emily told her ‘just say yes’ in the chat, so she did and was kind of kicking herself for it after. (our other housemate was off doing fuck knows what at this point; she was gone for weeks on end leaving us to take care of her guinea pigs for her with little to no warning.)

but then, veronica says, the big thing that astounds her is that this wasn’t even the same boyfriend who she’d had when she’d moved in. six months had passed by this point. SHE HAD BEEN DATING GREEN CARD GUY FOR LIKE, THREE MONTHS WHEN SHE DROPPED THIS ON US

and then she moved to fucking harlem, one of the yknow most diverse neighborhoods in the city known particularly for its black heritage, so i guess have fun honey

(her replacement somehow turned out to be just as bad as she was, so you can imagine why i was eager for my lease to end in may)