#i have seen grown adults crush animals to death without meaning to
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In which my not-yet-two-year-old son catches a gecko for the first time, and I barely keep it together.
#personal#cute#animals#gecko#gookoo#lizard#about me#it is truly astonishing how gentle he is with animals#i have seen grown adults crush animals to death without meaning to#because they donât have grip control#but Q is *so* gentle#just the right pressure#you can hear the tears in my eyes#the best part is that he spent the rest of the holiday turning over rocks looking for geckos#but heâs not even two so he has no concept of#(a) how big a rock is too big to turn over#and (b) how small a rock is too small to have a gecko under it#and (c) he has not yet realised there are no geckos in Denmark#*lifts tiny pebble* âno gookooâ#*points at huge rock on our cycle to daycare* 'gookoo!'#Q#yes I am such a huge trekkie that I was excited my son's nickname would be Q#yes I've been on tumblr so long I even named my child Q
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Yugioh S4 Ep7: Mai Gets a Day Job (Killing People For Sport)
So, I looked at the calendar and realized, if I donât get this post up this week then youâll only have one update from me for the whole of November since Iâm leaving for over a week again. :/ So Iâm just gonna get right to the good stuff because it has taken just a crazy amount of time to get to episode 7. How great would it be if I also got to episode 8. Real great, right?
So lets do this, I can do this, I can write a recap without getting insanely distracted, watch me do it: This episode starts with Tristan sticking to the fatal flaw of his character sheet and seeing listed at the very top âlow key toilet obsession.â
Ah Tristan.
And when you think âwell, OK, theyâre stuck by some historic Mesas, this is fine,â suddenly they are beset by the worldâs most random biker gang of like 20 full grown adults/biker assassins.
And itâs not super clear if their driver died out there in the Arizona desert, or if he just put on a different outfit and joined this gang, but it wonât matter because like...itâs a filler arc in Yugioh so thereâs gonna be some deaths.
This season seems to change genre like every 10 minutes, and so for right now we are in a Mad Max post-apocalyptic territory and PS every one of these bikers uses a lead pipe?
I feel like this is way more violent than a gun???
(read more under the cut)
And so, out the horizon comes another biker, like a masked cowboy on horseback, except she shoots these things instead of bullets.
These are trained assassins, by the way, just completely incapacitated by paper.
I just love the marketing team working alongside of this show thatâs like âand what else can Yugioh cards do? destroy biker gangs. Thatâs right, one single card will absolutely destroy a biker!â and the writing staff was like âyeah, we can work that in. That totally works in universe, you don't even know.â
Itâs Mai! Back from murdering the hell out of Pegasus, I guess she decided to ninja these 20 bikers, and did it so devastatingly, that they somehow blew up a motorcycle next to a live fuel tank? Like weâre talking Oliver Queen precision throwing here and like...
...Maiâs only been gone like a year right???
And so, seeing that this card is a harpy, which I dunno...doesnât seem like itâs all that rare in comparison to a Blue Eyes or a God Card or I dunno any of the other signature cards weâve heard about, Joey immediately recognizes Mai. Despite the fact that everything she is doing right now is completely out of character, and despite the fact that they are in freakin California.
RIP to all 20 of the people in that gang of bikers, because no one followed this limo away from the scene--everyone was, I assume, hella dead.
Youknow, I never expected Mai to kill more people than Bakura. I would have predicted Joey before Mai. I would have predicted Rebecca before Mai. Literally anyone else on this show before Mai.
Seto, crawling out of this oversized castle that I guess...is back on the real estate market now...decides that the irresistible pull of dragons printed on paper cards is stronger than listening to his brotherâs needs to put down the damn cards and make a contractually obligated theme park.
I mean Mokuba kept him off the cards for nearly a whole year. What a healthy year that was for Seto.
Back in Arizona, apparently they didnât make it more than a mile before Tristan busted the car. Not really clear why or how this happened, but theyâve decided to argue with eachother about it despite the fact one of them is clearly magical and does not really need to eat or drink or even maybe sleep?
Like weâve seen Bakura basically survive off of one plate of tacos and 2 pints of blood, so just make Pharaoh push the car all the way back to California. Or just make Pharaoh use his millennium AIM to call up His tomb keepers and be like âMarik, we need a lift.â or maybe summon a very real monster because thatâs a thing now?
Course this would rely on Pharaoh remembering that he has superpowers, which, somehow after 4 seasons, he always forgets how to use the moment he uses them. Itâs like reverse Sailor Moon--Usagi tends to level up her Super powers, Pharaoh kind of tosses them out of the window and goes âoopsâ and becomes more and more mortal every single season.
So instead of magic they will just use Tea.
Amazing how none of them are really willing to date Tea seriously but they will acknowledge, out of the four of them, Tea is the best looking. So their strategy, bear with me, wasnât to use the fact theyâre children to get help from adults driving by, instead, the boys hid behind a rock so they could really make sure they were getting a hella pervy truck driver that would only stop for a single teenage girl stuck in the desert.
Only this group of kids would be like âHey lets make sure the guy who picks us up is statistically most likely to be a serial killerâ and then, weirdly enough, this horndog pedo truck driver ended up being the only person who didnât try to kill them this entire episode.
So, lets go back to SF but coming from the north side...which makes no sense...but then again, they put Mesas in Napa County.
So last episode I assumed Rex and Weevil were dropped off in Oakland, but Rex informs us this episode that they are in âthe worst part of townâ
Where they get robbed twice, only to be saved by Duke Devlin, who I guess just lives here now because maybe itâs the only place he can afford in this expensive as hell city? Maybe he isnât bothered by the crime-rate after that week he spent on Kaibaâs blimp/Seaquest mmo adventure?
Anyway, for some reason Duke--who is a game shop owner/developer by day--is wandering around the Tenderloin as a vigilante and saving people by throwing dice at them as some sort of side hustle and this is never discussed at all.
I would watch that spinoff series. Religiously.
Fun fact, there is definitely sketchy and bad parts of the Tenderloin you will know not to go to (you can smell it actually), but like a third of it is part of the best shopping district in the city and we used to just shop there unsupervised when I was a kid. It has an Anthropologie.
Not saying the parts that are bad arenât bad. Whenever I drive through the non-shopping parts, I see at least one super sketch thing making me thankful Iâm in the car. But I just don't know how Rex and Weevil managed to get robbed twice in one day. Just go five blocks in literally any direction.
Bro and I were like...HOW did this shot happened from this angle on the freeway...and then I only just now realized it. Something I forgot about because itâs from my parentâs generation...maybe the animators werenât aware that the Embarcadero fell down after Loma Prieta?
So this was the SF landscape before the quake of 89âČ (Which I have no memory of since I was a baby when this happened)
and after 89.
Like maybe the animators they had on this team remembered an SF from their youth that had a huge iconic raised street wrapping all the way around one part of it and just...never got the memo that an Earthquake made the entire thing fall down?
Either way, Duke is either driving these two directly out of SF, or he is driving them into 1988 and is taking a lovely drive on the Old Embarcadero, an experience which does not exist anymore, and which makes a lot more sense since Duke has to be somewhat near downtown, going by the skyscrapers and the vicinity to the Tenderloin.
Man. In the Yugioh Universe, Loma Preita just never actually happened. How is that factoid alone not the weirdest part of this episode?
(I am so glad Serenity is not here now that Dukeâs back)
Welcome back to the show Duke, glad youâre bringing...Rex and Weevil...
To be fair, Duke has absolutely no idea who is and isnât Yugiâs friends. Duke just kind of shows up and pretends like heâs part of the gang, and the gang has lost so much brain matter from all the cards and all the dark magic, they just assume heâs been here the whole time.
So at first I was like âthis has to be a pun on Industrial Light and Magicâ since thereâs virtually no other film studios in the city--but ILM moved to SF 3-4 years after this season came out. So itâs just a weird coincidence, I guess. Or maybe itâs just a really uninspired name?
And so Mai, who I guess has been just waiting on this ledge for 8 hours decides to drop in.
Mai has evolved a lot since S1.
But, although Mai is just...straight up evil now, at least we get to see it taken out on Pegasus who, as far as this show is concerned, is a pretty evil bastard.
A pretty evil bastard who took like 3-4 episodes to beat in S1 but Mai could just do it off-screen.
Itâs just funny that the entire time on the island Pegasus was probably pretty sure everyone there was trying to kill him EXCEPT for Mai and then the moment his back is turned heâs like âoh whaaaat?â
Like Bandit Keith is already in America. But rather than use Bandit Keith for this, lets use Mai to give Joey something to angst about. We canât put her in a coma again--so lets instead get her vaguely possessed. Although seriously, if someone I liked did this to me I think Iâd be over that crush really fast.
And then, speaking of Bandit Keith, we get to have a Greek Chorus this duel from the minibosses. Valon and the other guy with the handlebar-muttonchops.
I looked up âwhere does Valonâs accent come fromâ and literally there is no consensus, as far as I know.
And thatâs where this episode ends.
Now Iâm gonna go out of town for a week and then will need another week to make more of these so Iâll be on another hiatus. Holding out if Iâll maybe bring a laptop or something to where Iâm going so I can type out recaps when Iâm bored.
The problem is having the uhhhhh photoshop to do the caps. I canât bear to do this in MS Paint because hell will freeze over before I lose all of my actions and hotkeys I made specifically to reduce the time it takes to make these. But we shall see.
anyway, if you want to see these from the beginning, click here.
#ygo#yugioh#recap#photo recap#episode recap#yugi muto#joey wheeler#mai valentine#tea gardner#bikers#an exploding shell station#arizona#tristan taylor#valon#S4 ep7
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A Winx Club Shadowhunters AU - Clizzy, Malec & others
Her name is Clary Fairchild, and sheâs an entirely normal 19-year-old human girl.
Except she isnât. That comes at a complete surprise just as sheâs about to die a horrible death at the hands of a yellow ogre. Thatâs just what she gets for trying to save Isabelle, a fairy Princess from the planet Solaria.
Her life is changed forever as she embarks on a journey that will give her more than she could ever hope for.
Chapter 1: An Unexpected Event - On AO3
Amber Fairchild let her fingers trace over the black smudgy lines of her daughterâs charcoal drawing of a landscape of Gardenia. In particular, it was a drone-view of the area where the Fairchildsâ house was located.
Behind it, on the cork board, was pinned another charcoal drawing, these times of fairies. Amber could only see two but she knew there were 3. They were quite beautiful. Clary was getting better at facial expressions.
On the drawing desk were a couple of more sheets of paper. Two versions of the same castle, a fairytale-worthy structure, complete with thin flags flowing over the towers, from different views. And a portrait of a woman. The woman strangely looked like Clary. Like a family resemblance.
Amber wondered if Clary was drawing what she thought her birthparents looked like. Amber and William Fairchild had never hidden the fact that Clary was adopted from her. It had never seemed to be an issue for Clary, but maybe she was starting to want to know more.
That was knowledge that the Fairchilds didnât have. William had found Clary in a house fire, eighteen years ago.
Clary had turned nineteen less than a week ago.
It was a bit of a shock, for Amber. Her baby was all grown up now. She was going to start her second year at the prestigious Gardenia Academy of Art in a couple of weeks, and she was growing into a fierce and wonderful young lady.
Amber stepped over the clothing and the books that were scattered over the floor. Clary was maybe an adult now, but she was still a messy teenager.
"Wake up, sleepy head!" Amber called, slightly louder than she usually would. "The sunâs been up for ages!"
The dog that they owned, a fawn-and-white one-year-old whippet named Kiko that was surprisingly human some days, was napping in his basket next to the bed.
Clary shifted in her bed, only her red hair visible in between her pillow and the duvet.
"Five more minutes, Mom," she grumbled and buried her face impossibly further into the pillow. Amber smiled widely and moved a little closer.
"Youâre late, Clary!" She said softly, in a sing-song voice, right next to her daughterâs face.
There was a second-long beat, during which Clary put two and two together and suddenly she bolted out of bed. "FUCK!" She cursed loudly as she ran around the room. "How the fuck did I miss my alarm?"
Amber winced at the curses. Yes, they had allowed uncensored swearing to Clary on her 18th birthday, but that didnât mean it was easy to get used to.
"Itâs the first day of the school year, none of my things are ready, what the fuck was I thinki-" Clary stopped, one leg down her jeans and looked up.
"Hang on a sec," she said softly, before turning towards her mother. "YOU. Thatâs SO not funny," she grumbled.
Amber chuckled. School was not starting again before a couple of weeks. "You fell for it, didnât you?" She crossed her arms.
Clary finished putting on her black croptop and ripped jeans, before falling bad onto the bed dramatically. "I donât care. Iâm going back to bed."
Amber sighed. "Itâs 9am. Late enough."
Clary huffed and slid under her duvet again. Kiko jumped onto the bed and snuggled against her.
Amber looked at her softly. "You should try going to bed earlier, you know. You were up really late last night." William and her had gone to bed relatively late, and they had seen the light under the door of her bedroom.
"I was reading..." Clary sighed.
Amber grabbed the book she was pointing at from the floor. The cover had a fairy on it, just like Claryâs drawings. She sighed. This was a little more mature and scientific, if there was such thing as the scientific study of fairies.
""Fairies: Myth or Reality?"" She read out, and huffed. "Urgh, donât you ever get tired of these silly things?" She asked softly.
Clary shook her head. "I donât. I like them."
Amber nodded. "Alright then. Who am I to call them silly if you care about them so much?"
Clary sat up on her bed. With her messy hair and her tired look, she still looked like a child to Amber. Her smile was still as contagious.
"Thanks, Mom," she said softly.
Amber waved it off. "Oh, Itâs nothing, darling. Now, come get coffee."
--------------
Since sheâd woken up early, Clary guessed she got to be doing some stuff. Sheâd decided to take Kiko on a trip to the park. The park allowed for dogs to be unleashed, as long as people were careful.
It was Clary and Kikoâs favorite place to go. Usually, Clary would run around and play for a while, before sitting down by her favorite tree and drawing while Kiko either went to run around or laid by her feet.
Clary rode her bike, with Kiko secured in a basket, to the park, where she settled at her usual spot. She put her back against the tree and grabbed Kikoâs toy.
After a few rounds of throwing and running and playing, she decided to sit down. Kiko still seemed to have a bunch of energy so she let him go play."Go on Kiko, but stick around, alright?" She called.
She sat down on the grass and grabbed her sketchpad. She barely had time to get drawing that Kiko came back, howling, absolutely terrified.
"Whatâs the matter Kiko?" Clary asked, gently patting the terrified animal. She stood up, looking towards the part of the park Kiko had come running from.
It was a deeper, wilder part, where people went a little more rarely. She swallowed and stepped forward, grabbing the pepper spray from her bag and walking into the bushes.
Kiko followed, whining at her feet, almost trying to tell her not to come. Clary stopped next to a clearing, as strange noises were coming from it.
From behind the tree, Clary saw something that she couldnât really explain.
It was a woman. More exactly, it was the most beautiful woman Clary had ever seen. Her tan skin radiated with a glow that definitely couldnât come from only body glitter. Clary swallowed. She wore shorts and a one-shoulder crop top, made of a glittery golden orange material, that hugged her curves perfectly. She had matching heeled boots. Her dark hair was parted into two low pigtails, held with golden orange bands.
Claryâs eyes opened wider. From the womanâs shoulder blades sprouted translucent blue wings. They were delicate and beautiful, glittering gently with every motion of her body.
She was fighting, kicking at strange monsters. She had a cyan-blue scepter with a sun-shaped circle at the top, in her left hand, and Clary focused on that rather than the rest of the seriously wrong things happening in front of her. Â
"Rising Sun!" The woman shouted, and a blast of blinding golden light erupted from her right hand, sending one of the monsters tumbling down, screaming in pain, before it quickly disappeared in a pile of ash.
"Wow!" Clary heard herself say. She could feel the power that came from the woman. It was like nothing sheâd ever felt before. "Goodness, did you see that Kiko?" The dog was hiding, trembling, behind a log.
"Solar Wind!" This time, the wave of light was more diffuse, but it still was successful in burning away a number of the small monsters. It was... it was like the woman was doing spells. That and the wings... Clary felt a headache forming between her temples.
âI am warning you," the woman spoke out. Her voice was calmer than Claryâs would have been in the same situation. "Leave this realm now or you will feel the magical wrath of the Sun and Moon fairy!"
The yellow monster erupted in a loud laugh, that turned into an animalistic snarl, and then it charged. It started running, full speed, towards the relatively small - if unnaturally powerful - woman.
She put up a fight, but was violently shoved backwards. Clary saw her fly over a short distance and land painfully on the grassy ground.
"Oh my god!" Clary exclaimed.
The woman wasnât getting up. She was laying very close to where Clary was still hidden, and she wasnât getting up. She was trying, but the painful landing had cut off her breath and she was struggling to regain it.
"Your time is up fairy!" The monster shouted. It turned to the smaller monsters, red, ant-like creatures. "Take the scepter! Give me that scepter!"
The small creatures pounced. Clary almost screamed as they attacked the woman on the ground, holding her down and prying open her fingers to get the scepter out of her hand.
They ended up managing to get it from her when they used their paws to block out her eyes and mouth, keeping her from breathing and seeing. She instinctively let go of the scepter, and the monsters took advantage of that.
The yellow monster smirked as the scepter was given to him. "Not so strong now, are you?" He growled, and moved, aiming towards the fallen woman with the scepter.
Clary moved without thinking. She ran out from the trees and stood in front of the woman, standing tall and looking at the monster with a hiss. "Let her go!"
The monster raised its eyebrows. Yes, it had eyebrows. What the fuck?
"Get her!" It roared.
She saw the monsters coming at her. She felt the flame inside of her. It built from her heart to her fingertips, burning, pulsing, wanting to get out. And it did. She felt the flame leave her skin and radiate around her, and the monsters died as they touched it.
She blinked, her fingers tingling. One of the remaining monsters grabbed Kikoâs tail, making him yelp loudly. "Hands off Kiko!" Clary grabbed a branch and beat it off of him.
Well. She wasnât that bad at self-defense.
A giant yellow hand wrapped around her wrists, pinning both of them in one crushing grip. She groaned loudly in pain and tried to get away.
She felt it again. With the pain crushing her wrists, came also the flame. It burnt again, from her heart onwards. She closed her eyes and felt it escape her body again.
The monster screamed in agony. Clary pried her eyes open, only to be blinded by a too-bright ray of light. She closed them again, but small light spots still danced behind her eyelids.
"Hey, that was... powerful," the woman said.
Clary opened her eyes again, and her vision was back to normal. She could already feel she would have a headache, and she felt absolutely exhausted, but she could see alright.
The woman, with her dark hair, her wings and her orange glittery clothing, was staring at her with awe. She had dark eyes that held a bright spark, her lips were painted red, and it looked like sheâd sacrificed at least a dozen children to some dark deities for her beauty.
She walked closer to Clary and held out her hand, helping her to her feet. "Are you okay?" She asked softly. Her voice was even nicer when she wasnât yelling.
Even if she was standing in shadows now, she was still glowing. Â The Sun and Moon Fairy . If that was true, the glowing would make sense.
"Yeah..." Clary managed to reply, mouth hanging open, trying to  wrap her head around the situation. A stunning woman with wings, who referred to herself as a fairy, was holding her hand like it was something precious, after Clary had protected her from a monster.
Said monster got up from the ground then. The woman - the fairy - turned around. She planted her feet into the ground. "You want the scepter? Come and get it!" She taunted. A burst of golden light caught the monster square in the chest, sending him flying back.
Clary was about to shout at her to watch out for the remaining of the ant-like monsters but the woman was already moving. She snarled with effort, the entire scepter and her hands lighting up with the same gold light that seemed to envelop all her spells.
She jumped, a powerful, unnatural leap aided with her wingsâ flying ability, twirled the scepter over her head at lightning speed and suddenly cut through the air.
All around her, following the path of the scepter, light erupted and monsters turned to ash.
She twirled the scepter one more time in her hands, this time more for a flourish, before winking at Clary. Clary swallowed.
"We will meet again, fairy!" The yellow beast warned, before disappearing in a beam of purple light.
A heaviness that Clary had not realized was in the air lifted with the creatures departure.
"Thank goodness," the woman exclaimed. She seemed genuinely relieved, even if she had demonstrated quite the abilities. "Theyâre gone at last!"
Clary was about to reply, ask questions, do something, but the woman faltered. She crumbled to the ground, and let go of the scepter.
Clary rushed to her side. "Hey are you alright?" She called out.
There was no reply. A bright light enveloped the womanâs unmoving body, and in the blink of an eye, her wings, her costume, and her pigtails were gone. Gone too was the glow that had seemed to radiate from her.
Her boots had changed to less practical heeled sandals, her crop top had changed shapes, with added cyan blue accessories and strings that wrapped around her waist. The shorts sheâd been wearing became a skirt, long and flowing, with the same blue strings holding it to her waist.
The bands holding her hair parted were gone, it flowed free against the ground, and on her head rested something Clary recognized as a tiara, a cyan blue headband-like tiara that also had a sun-shaped circle at the back of her head, in the same shape as the top of the scepter.
Panicked, Clary looked around and realized the scepter was gone.
Fuck. She needed to call her parents.
-------------
Clary stared at the shredded pant leg of her jeans, toying with the straw in her lemonade glass. She hadnât realized that the creatures had ruined it before sheâd been home, with the woman laying on her bed, asleep.
She could hear her mom and dadâs hushed whispers. They were standing in the kitchen, and the kitchen was only a few feet away. They werenât exactly stealthy.
"Clary," her father started, turning to her and speaking a bit louder. "Iâm not sure I understand. Could you run that by me again?"
She sighed deeply, looking up at him and leaning back in her chair. "Itâs not complicated. Kiko and I were in the park. He got spooked so I went to see what was going on. She was there, fighting creatures. They called her a fairy. She called herself a fairy."
William sighed. Clary loved her dad, but she knew he was a skeptic when it came to these things. Neither Amber nor William really believed in the supernatural, magical things that Clary believed in.
Clary was very different from her parents. Physically of course, since she was adopted. They were both brunettes, and there werenât a redhead in their family. Her face was different, her stature was different.
But in their beliefs too. Clary had always like the idea that there was more to the world that the things she could see. She believed in magic, and in the things that went bump in the night.
"Hmm, I see," William mumbled.
"You believe me then?" Clary asked, even if she honestly had little hope that he did.
"No, I donât! I think we should call the police and take this girl to a hospital."
It was a sensible offer but Clary opened her mouth to refuse. She didnât have time to.
At that moment, a voice resounded in the room. "No, no please. Donât tell anyone."
The woman - the fairy - was standing in the doorway to the bedrooms corridor. She looked a bit pale, but perfectly alright. She was still incredibly beautiful.
Amber immediately stood up straighter and walked to her. "How do you feel dear?" She asked softly. She guided her to sit down on the couch. The four of them all moved to the living room.
The fairy sat gracefully, at the age of the couch, back straight and ankles crossed elegantly.
"Iâm all right," she said softly to Amber. She then turned to Clary. "Thank you for helping me out."
Clary shook her head. "Why else could I have done? Leave you passed out in the middle of the park?"
The fairy smiled gracefully. "Still. You were very kind to bring me to your home." She looked regal sitting there, in her fancy clothing and the tiara that she still wore. She was silent and elegant.
"Iâm Clary," Clary said softly. "Clary Fairchild. And these are my parents. Amber and William Fairchild."
The woman nodded. "Itâs a pleasure to meet you. My name is Isabelle. My friends call me Izzy." There was more to that, but Clary waved it away. They were strangers, after all.
"Can we drive you somewhere, Izzy?" William asked.
Clary almost glared at him. She could feel in his tone that he wanted Izzy out of their home as fast as possible. Now that she looked alright and awake, there was no reason for her to stay longer, right?
Izzy had a small chuckle. "That would be difficult. I come from a place thatâs a bit far from here."
"Fairyland?" William huffed.
Izzy raised a perfectly styled eyebrow in his direction. "Thereâs no such thing. Maybe the Legendarium World would qualify, but thatâs only where the Ancestral Fairies came from, not where they reside. I am from Solaria. Not Fairyland." Her voice was cold.
William opened his mouth and closed it right after. Claryâs head felt like it was spinning. Sheâd read nothing about the Ancestral Fairies or the Legendarium World. Sheâd never even heard of those before, in all her research about fairies.
"But youâre a fairy, right?"
Izzy turned to her and nodded, smile coming back to her lips. "I am. The Fairy of the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. One day, I will be the Guardian Fairy of my Kingdom, Solaria."
So Guardian Fairies were a thing. Alright, that was something that Clary understood.
"How did you end up on Earth?" Clary asked curiously.
"I was trying to get to Alfea castle in the realm of Magix... Itâs one of the magical dimensions, and Alfea is the College for Fairies. Itâs the best school out there for fairies."
Clary could almost physically feel the skepticism and annoyance coming from behind her but sighed.
"Those creatures attacked me and I was forced to land here, on your planet," Izzy continued, before she turned to Amber and William. "Your daughter saved my life. I had never seen instinctive magic quite like that."
Clary shook her head. "I... I donât know what happened. It all went so fast and the flame..."
"It was similar to the fire magic Iâve seen before," Izzy pointed out. "And you donât actually need to know how. Instinctive magic exists in all of us magical beings, may we be Fairies or not."
William sighed and looked at both Clary and Izzy. "I donât... I donât understand whatâs going on."
Amber shook her head. "I donât understand either. But this..."
"It could be some sort of scheme. Acting."
Izzy stood up gracefully. She slid the blue ring she was wearing off of her finger, and it suddenly changed shapes. She was now holding the scepter that the monsters had been trying so hard to get.
Clary exhaled. Now she didnât have to break it to her than she had lost her precious scepter.
Izzy planted the scepter firmly in front of her and put her two hands on it, one above the other. She closed her eyes for a moment.
Amber gasped as a bright ball of light came out of the sun-shaped circle at the top of the scepter. It danced around the living room, moving between the four of them with elegance, following motions of Izzyâs fingers.
"Can you believe me now?" She asked softly.
Amber looked over at her. "I think I do."
William stayed silent.
---------------
Clary sat down heavily on her bed. It felt like so much had happened since sheâd left it, this every morning.
Now, there was a fairy in her bedroom. She wasnât as tall as Clary would have imagined a fairy would be. Actually, Clary and her were about the same height. The fairy was maybe a bit smaller even, was she to take off her heels.
Said fairy, Izzy, was currently looking around Claryâs room. She was especially focused on the drawing table and the drawings that Clary had pinned on the corkboard. She reached up and gently touched the one with the fairies.
âDid you draw these?" She asked, tone curious, as she turned around and looked at Clary. Her eyes were shining.
"Yes. Iâm an art student.â
âThatâs amazing! And so are those drawings!â Izzy exclaimed. There was a hint of black from the charcoal on her fingertips as she pulled her hand back. âIâm a student too. Guardian fairy curriculum, at Alfea College for Fairies.â
Clary raised an eyebrow. âSo there are classes on how to be a fairy?â
âNot exactly?â Izzy hummed. âYou take classes to learn how to harness all of your power and make sure youâre using your magic correctly. Thatâs the gist of most fairy programs in the magical dimensions, but Alfea has a special Guardian Fairy program. You learn how to care for your realms, your planets⊠And you get pushed to reach the ultimate fairy form that Guardian Fairies have to have. The Enchantix.â
Clary chuckled. âYouâre speaking Chinese.â
âIâm not. Iâm speaking Earth English,â Izzy raised an eyebrow.
âI meant, I donât really understand what youâre saying. This is so new to me. Real fairies seem very much entirely different from what we learn about fairies on Earth.â
Izzy hummed, walking over to the book about fairies that Clary had been reading the night before. She picked it up and flipped it open, looking through some random pages.
"Is your world like that?" Clary asked softly. âDo they have some things right?â
The woman seemed to hesitate a little. âThey have a few things right. But itâs not as pretty as in this book. Not as perfect. There are issues, like in every other world, every other society. And not every fairy is sweet and perfect. Fairies may use white magic, maybe, but not all fairies are good.â
Clary nodded a little, sighing. âI guess⊠Yeah. Itâs just weird. To think that, this morning, I mostly thought it was a fairytale, a story.â
Izzy smiled softly, looking at her. âAnd now, thereâs a real life fairy in front of you?â
Clary sighed. âAnd I might be one.â
âYour power sure felt like fairy magic to me. I mean, Iâm not a professional, far from it. I did just spend a year at a school full of them though. And grew up around a couple. The King and Queen of Solaria made sure I had only fairy tutors.â
Clary huffed, standing up and going to tidy some things. âThe King and Queen had something to say in your education? Damn.â
âThe King and Queen of Solaria are my parents.â
Clary turned around and stared at the other woman. So that explained the regal manners, the perfectly polished behavior and the way she spoke. It wasnât just what fairies were like, it was what a fairy princess was like.
âYouâre a princess, too?â
Izzy chuckled. She stood up straighter, taking the ring off of her finger again and looking at Clary. She took a complicated bow, using the scepter for balance, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders. She looked up at her and smiled.
âPrincess Isabelle of Solaria, Princess of the Sun and the Moon, and Fairy of the Sun and the Moon. One day, surely, Guardian Fairy of the Kingdom of Solaria,â she introduced herself.
Clary couldnât help but stare at her. It was⊠so much. There was a fairy princess in her bedroom, and she was absolutely beautiful. And sweet.
âAnd you, my dear,â Izzy said walking towards her and gently cupping her cheek. âmight just be the Fairy of Fire.â
-------------------
The grass under Claryâs feet felt unnaturally soft. She guessed it was all unnatural, since they were in what Izzy called a bottomless postcard. Clary looked up. There was a rectangle in the sky, an opening, through which she could see the ceiling of her bedroom.
They stood in what looked, felt and seemed like a normal clearing in the some cartoonishly perfect woods. The trees looked like they had been drawn from the dreams of a ten-year-old, and the birds were singing. The rays of sun on Claryâs skin were so bright and defined that they seemed solid.
In front of her, Izzy had her eyes closed, her head tilted back slightly as she let the sunbeam fall on her features. Her skin was golden then, smooth and perfect. Everything seemed smooth and perfect.
Clary wondered whether it was the fact that it was a postcard that made it like this, almost unreal. Maybe it was just how it was in this magic world.
Izzy re-opened her eyes and for a moment, they shimmered gold, the sunray catching directly in them and transforming the darkness of her iris into light.
âSo this is Alfea Castle,â Izzy exclaimed. Clary stopped staring at her and looked over where Izzy was pointing. They were close to it.
It was niched in the forest and felt like a safe haven from the world. Nothing imperfect could happen here, she was sure of it. While the roof was blue and almost blended in with the sky, the walls of the castle were a soft pink with purple accents. It reminded her a bit of cotton candy. But elegant cotton candy.
The buildings had a roundness to them that reminded Clary of the ones she would draw as a child. The whole area felt like taking a step back into her childhood, revising the perfect world that she had imagined fairies lived in. She hadnât been so wrong, after all.
There were tall windows and balconies over the upper levels of the building. âDo people live there?â
Izzy nodded. âItâs a boarding school. Up to six people can share an apartment, itself divided in rooms. Royalty, like me, usually get solo rooms. Youâd be getting a room with a roommate probably. â
Clary didnât know if she would mind. As long as the other girl wasnât weird with her because Clary was gay, she would love to share a room with someone and live out some sort of collegial dream that her proximity with her school in Gardenia didnât allow her. Even if she loved the fact that she didnât have to pay to live at her parentsâ. Thinking of GardeniaâŠ
âWhat about my school in Gardenia? I would waste so much money dropping out of there and coming here⊠Itâs free right?â
Izzy shrugged. âFor someone like you? Absolutely. We royals pay entrance fees and donate money so others, with less money, can have it for free. Itâs also considered a good deed, and charity is a very important value, especially in the fairy world.â
Clary opened her mouth and tried to think of something to say, but all of what was playing in her head was the stupidities and cruel words that politicians said on tv. About not wanting to pay so others can have access to the same things as them, especially things like healthcare or education.
Maybe some of those people existed in this world, but they seemed to be enough of a minority that prestigious schools like Alfea didnât work with their model.
âIâm sure youâd like it here," Izzy grinned.
âI donât know⊠I have to talk about it with my parents. Itâs a big change.â
The idea of letting go of her spot at the Gardenia Academy of Arts, the idea of leaving Gardenia behind, leaving the future she had envisioned behind and diving head first into this new world and this new life terrified her.
She could feel a pull in her heart, a feeling that, if she did not take the chance, she would throw away the chance to follow her fated path. But was it strong enough to counteract the rational concerns about money and future?
âListen, you have a night to think about it. Talk with your parents, think a bunch. When Iâm leaving tomorrow, I can take you with me. But after that⊠I have no idea when youâd meet another fairy able to get you hereâŠâ Izzy said softly. âThough I would probably come back for you.â
Clary opened wide eyes at that. âReally?â She whispered and some kind of weird hope and warmth filled her chest.
Izzy nodded, looking at her softly. âReally. There is something about you⊠I feel like our paths have crossed for a reason. I was destined to crash on Earth, be saved by you, and bring magic into your life. I canât explain it.â
Clary didnât know if she could believe her. Izzy was wonderful and beautiful and almost unreal. What if Clary was just hallucinating this? What if this was just a dream?
Her thoughts were interrupted by Izzy taking her hand in hers. Clary looked down at their two hands joined, her skin looking absolutely white next to Izzyâs darker tone.
âLetâs get out of there, alright?â Izzy asked.
Clary nodded.
âAll you gotta do is jump up!â Izzy explained and looked up at the opening in the sky. She looked over at Clary for a moment. Clary nodded at her again. They counted to three and jumped.
Clary could feel herself pulled upwards, and it was a bit uncomfortable, but very quick. It passed easily. She shook her head as she resurfaced in her bedroom, struggling a little to adapt.
She didnât have much time to do the adjustments however, because a few seconds after they had come back from the postcard, there was a loud crash, coming from downstairs. It was followed by a great snarl.
Izzyâs eyes opened wide at that and she turned to Clary. They rushed downstairs immediately.
It was chaos. The small red ant-like monsters were back, and Clary could see the massive back of the yellow creature. There was another one with them this time, it was blue and it was snarling the loudest. They were making quick work of destroying the living room
"Those girls must be around here somewhere," the yellow one growled.
Before he could ask Amber and William where they were, Clary and Izzy came up behind them. There was a fire in Izzyâs eyes that Clary hadnât really seen before. Sheâd already been tired when theyâd met in the midst of battle.
"Weâre right behind you!" Izzy called out. The yellow monster growled in confusion and Izzy smirked. âLetâs end this, shall we?"
Before Clary could say anything, Izzy was standing in front of her, feet planted wide. âSolaria!â She shouted, and a beam of bright light surrounded her in a blinding pocket of light. Clary lost sight of her, but only for a second. Almost immediately, rays erupted from the light cocoon, and the cocoon exploded.
Gone were the royal garments and the tiara, and back were the fairy wings. She wore the same outfit Clary had seen on her in the park, orange cropped top with only one shoulder, short shorts of the same sparkling orange material, and knee high boots. Her hair had magically been divided into two pigtails held by orange tube ties, and Clary felt the power radiating from her. Her first impression hadnât been mistaken. In her fairy form, Izzy was glowing.
Clary gasped as Izzy immediately flew forward, kicking the blue monster in the chest. She had the time to notice nipple rings on this one. What was THAT about? Clary decided not to focus on the possibly kinkiness of the enormous blue monster that was destroying her home.
"Whatâs the use of you?â The yellow beast snarled at the blue one. âYou got beat by a cutesy fairy!"
Izzy landed on her feet and raised an eyebrow. âOf course he did. But... Iâm no ordinary fairy,â she chuckled. âIâm the Princess of Solaria!â
She turned to Clary. âClary, weâre outnumbered. Weâre gonna have to split them up."
Without thinking, Clary nodded. âAlright, I have an idea. Iâll take care of the red ones."
She was running entirely on automatism. She shot a quick glance at Amber and William, nodding at them reassuringly, before she started running out of the house. She ran through the corridor and the kitchen, slammed the door open and ran outside. She shut the door back once she was there, keeping the red creatures outside.
Once there, she froze. âFuck.â She had no idea what to do.
By her side, Kiko was barking and shaking, in a mix of wanting to protect her and being absolutely terrified. She definitely could relate to that feeling. She wanted to protect her home and her parents, but now she was outside, alone, with four little red monsters that could maybe possibly kill her. She wasnât exactly comfortable.
She got into position to try and summon the magical flame that sheâd felt in the park. She took a deep breath. âCome on, Clary,â she whispered. âYou can-â
She didnât have time to finish her sentence. Out of thin air, the yellow monster had appeared and had crashed down on the red monsters, killing them instantly. The yellow creature itself looked pretty damaged.
Well. Izzy sure knew how to command respect.
Right as she was thinking that, there was a loud crashing noise and Izzy came flying through the glass window. She landed on the ground and groaned loudly.
âIzzy!" Clary exclaimed, running to help her get up. She didnât look in that good of a state. Her previously so smooth and perfect skin was littered with small cuts from the glass, and she could see a couple of pieces sticking out of some slightly deeper wounds. She was bleeding. There were cuts in her wings too, shredding the delicate membranes.
"Donât worry,â Izzy smiled a little, but you could see it was painful. âIâve called the Specialists."
The what now? "Who?"
Izzy didnât reply. Whoever the Specialists were, Clary sure hoped that they were coming soon. The blue monster - that sheâd heard referred to as a troll - was now coming out of the main door. Coming through might be more appropriate, as the beast just forced its way through the wood.
It walked, slowly, and all Clary could do was watch. Izzy seemed weaker even than at the park, and she almost couldnât sit up. There was no hope. They were going to die in there, because there was no way that people from another dimension would show up THAT fast.
Clary closed her eyes and held Izzyâs hand as the creature loomed over them. âI love you, mom and dad.â She whispered, even if she knew they couldnât hear her. Theyâd fled through the back of the house.
She smelled the trollâs nauseating breath on her. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. She was only 19. She couldnât even summon the little bits of power she had. She waited for death.
Death didnât come. There was a loud crack, the crack of a whip, and the troll snarled.
Clary opened her eyes. A thick black cable was wrapped around the trollâs neck, pulling it backwards. She took in a ragged breath, eyes following the cable to where four men were standing.
The one holding the whip had blond hair that flopped over his face. He wore a⊠bodysuit? With a cape? And very tight, at that. Clary put the outfit in the âWTF - will revisit later and demand an explanationâ folder of her brain that was growing fuller by the second, at this point.
"Guys, Iâm ready,â one of the other men said. This one had short dark hair and glasses. So there were magical creatures with vision issues. Okay. Good to know, she guessed.
The one in between whip-guy and glasses-guy had dark hair, a bit of a frown and was very tall. Taller by a few inches than the three other men for sure. "Alright, letâs take him to jail where he belongs." He called out. He seemed to be the leader of the group.
Whip guy huffed. "Whatâs the rush? Donât you want to have a little bit of fun first?"
Clary almost yelled at him that Izzy was on the floor bleeding and that if they could remove the death threat from their vicinity, that would be great.
The fourth man, who was the only one not to be wearing the tight bodysuit and cape combo, sighed. He was holding a long black staff, leaning against it and waiting. His clothing was just as⊠unusual as the othersâ. He wore a purple turtle neck dress-like garment with elbow-length sleeves, decorated with yellow stripes, split open on both sides below the waist, and held at the waist tightly with a red sash. His pants were of the same purple color.
"I wouldnât be so cocky if I were you. After all, this is only your first mission,â he pointed out.
Just as he was saying that, the troll tugged on the whip, sending the one who was holding it flying towards him. Whip-guy let go of the whip then, and landed right next to Clary and Izzy.
The purple-wearing man sighed. "I rest my case."
Clary watched helplessly still as the troll turned to the remaining three and started attacking. The edge of the staff purple-guy was wielding turned into a blade as he switched hands. Now holding the staff-blade in his left hand, he used his right hand to perform a complicated motion. A dark, smokey ball of energy seemed to erupt from his palm and crashed into the ground.
The ground opened up then, and the troll stumbled, letting up his attacks on the others. Its ankle caught in the crack and it howled. The glasses-wearing man jumped into action, closing manacles onto its fists.
âWell done, but itâs not over yet!â The dark-haired leader spoke out.
The red monsters that had been kept had bay by the Specialists were now turning towards Clary, Izzy, and the man next to them. The blond man huffed and got up. He looked dirty and tired and turned to them and sent them a wink.
"Iâll protect you, ladies."
Clary would have spoken up, but she was terrified, and didnât understand a thing of what was going on, so she stayed silent. He took a strange object, and activated it. A fuschia saber blade appeared, and with that, he started fighting.
Clary didnât know where to look, but she was pulled back to the situation when she felt fingers intertwining with hers.
âClary,â Izzy whispered. âWe have to use magic on the yellow monster.â
âBut⊠youâre injured and I canâtâŠâ
Izzy shook her head. âHelp me up.â
Clary slid a hand around Izzyâs waist and helped her to her feet. The fairy turned to her, looking at her with a firm, stern look. âMagic is often linked to emotion. We need to help the Specialists, or the monsters will kill us, and also your parents.â
Clary opened wide eyes.
"Strong feelings such as fear have summoned up the wonderful powers that are in you once before,â Izzy said, in a hushed whisper. âThey were always there, you just didnât know it. Itâs just a question of concentration. With your energy you can do anything.â
âBut I canât, Iâve tried and I canâtâŠâ
âBelieve it,â Izzy whispered. âBelieve you can produce just one burst⊠You must.â
Clary closed her eyes. She wanted to believe that she could. She didnât know about being a fairy yet, but she hadnât imagined what had happened at the park. If she could do it once, she could do it again.
She felt it. The flame. The built-up was slower and smaller than it had been at the park, it had been a sudden burst of energy. Here, she had to work for it. So she did. She took the spark and pulled. She called it to her.
And just when the yellow monster punched the whip-guy out of the way, the flame appeared in between her hands. Izzy grinned next to her. âNow throw it!â
Clary didnât know what she meant by that so she just did the motion. She kept the ball of energy, pulled her hands up and threw it, as if she was throwing one of those basketballs in high school P.E..
Izzy had thrown hers at the same time, and they both caught the monster square in the back. It howled in pain and crashed on the ground.
âI told you, you could do it!â Izzy grinned. âIâm so proud of you!â
Clary looked down at her hands. She could still feel it, like a phantom caress on her finger tips, a light tingle. "Wow. Then Iâm really a fairy,â she whispered out loud.
"Of course you are, Iâm never wrong,â Izzy chuckled. It was a bit of a strange sight, her smile and her cheerfulness, with light drops of blood rolling down her cheek from the cuts.
The Specialists gathered around the weakened yellow creature as it painfully stood up. It seemed to realize that it was cornered as it swore loudly and looked around itself. They didnât have time to grab it. It clapped its hands a couple of time and bright purple light engulfed it. Once it had dissipated, the creature was gone.
Clary exhaled. Izzyâs knees buckled and she fell to the ground.
âIzzy!â One of the men called out and came running to her. It was the dark-haired, tall and serious one. He easily slid his arms around her and pulled her up to his chest, carrying her bridal-style.
âAlec, Iâm fine,â Izzy mumbled.
âYouâre not. Youâre bleeding and your wings are shredded. We have a medic pod in the ship, youâll need it.â
Clary watched the scene, a bit perplexed. The purple-wearing man came up to her and smiled. âAre you alright there?â
Clary crossed her arms. She felt exhausted. âIâm⊠fine. Just tired. Where is he taking her?â
âTo our ship. You can come with us, if you want.â The man was Asian, had dark brown eyes, golden skin and dark hair.
Clary nodded. âSure.â
He smiled. âAlright. By the way, Iâm Magnus. We didnât have time for introductions earlier.â
Clary smiled back a little. âClary. Clary Fray. I⊠Is Izzy going to be okay? She was really banged up.â
Magnus nodded. âDonât worry about her. Even if the medic pod canât fix her entirely, we can bring her back to the Red Fountain to take care of her. Besides, Alexander will do everything possible to make sure sheâs alright.â
Clary guessed Alexander was the dark-haired man that had ran to her immediately. âAre theyâŠâ
Magnus laughed. âOh Gods no. Alexander is Isabelleâs brother. Crown Prince Alexander of Solaria, to be exact. And, Alexander wellâŠâ He had a little smirk. âHeâs taken.â Magnus sent a look at the man. It was both soft and somewhat possessive and Clary let out a small âooohâ.
Magnus nodded. âExactly. Now, letâs get you fixed up too, you look exhausted. And Iâll introduce you to Jace and Simon.â
------------------
The ship was⊠not what Clary had expected. After the whimsical aspects of Alfea castle, she guessed she had imagined it less modern. It was shaped like a kite, with the cockpit on the top face of the structure, above the rest.
As she stepped into the ship, Clary noticed the stairs leading up to the cockpit. The area below it had a long metallic table, upon which they laid Izzy. Alec grabbed what seemed like a first-aid kit and took out a syringe filled with a blue liquid.
âPainkillers,â Magnus explained, as Alec injected the liquid into Izzyâs arm. âSince we donât know how bad it is, weâre dosing her now. Best case scenario, we can fix her up here and sheâll just sleep it off at your place. Worst case scenario, we have to transport her to the Red Fountain, Solaria, or the fairy hospital in Magix, and sheâll need it.â
Clary hated to see Izzy like that. It felt like it was all her fault, even if she knew it wasnât.
Laser-like green and blue lights came out of the fixtures above the table and engulfed Izzy in what Clary hoped was healing magic. The dark-haired man - Alec - stayed by the side of the table, waiting, and watching.
Unlike the last time, Izzy was still in her fairy form.
The blonde-haired man walked up to them and looked at Clary. âHey, what is she doing on the ship?â He asked Magnus.
âShe saved your ass and wanted to watch over Isabelle,â Magnus replied. He smiled at Clary. âSo thatâs Jace. Heâs Alecâs squire.â
Jace huffed. âMore like⊠adoptive brother? Iâm a ward of Solaria, and I grew up with Alec and Izzy,â he told Clary. Clary wondered if he was bragging or not. It wasnât as if she actually cared.
âThatâs nice,â Clary said, keeping her tone as devoid of actual interest as she could. âAnd Iâm guessing Simon is the one with the glasses?â
Magnus nodded. âYes. Heâs our tech guy, and maybe the nicest person youâll ever meet.â
Izzy had been so incredibly nice that Clary wouldnât really imagine anyone being nicer than her. She was still laying under the lights but the superficial cuts were healing. Some of the tears in her wings were growing back together as well, but not the biggest ones.
âMagnus, could you suit up?â Alec asked over his shoulder and Magnus left Claryâs side with a light pat on her shoulder. She watched him put on some clothes and grab some tweezers. With those, he started taking out the pieces of glass that were still in some of the wounds.
Clary didnât know how she could stomach this. She normally hated the sight of blood and anything vaguely surgery-related. Maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe she didnât want to leave the side of the one person she somewhat knew and trusted. Whatever it was, she seemed bolted into place.
It felt like hours until Magnus was done taking out glass and stitching wings back together enough for the light beams to act. Alec and him talked quietly about what to do, and Alec eventually turned to Clary.
âWeâre going to leave her with you for tonight. Iâll alert our family in Solaria and see what they want us to do, but for now, she seems fine. Sheâll probably need someone to check on her wings, but the infirmary of Alfea can do it.â
Clary nodded. âAlright. Does she require anything specific?â
Alec shook his head. âShe just needs rest. Sheâll probably turn back into her human form too. We managed to keep her in her fairy form as long as we could to take care of her wings, but it wonât hold for much longer.â
Clary didnât know if she was qualified in any way to take care of a wounded fairy. Sheâd shot some magic out of her hands a couple of times, but that sure didnât seem like it would be enough.
The Specialists were starting to look tired too, and their uniform was a bit dirty. Clary noticed some light differences, mostly in the weapons they had holstered to their bodies, but also in the brooch that held their cloak in place, over their heart. They all had a different color. Jaceâs was fuschia, just like the blade heâd used earlier. Alecâs was light blue, and Simonâs was yellow. She wondered if there was a significance.
Izzy stirred on the table and opened her eyes. She huffed. âReally? Full medic pod?â She grumbled weakly. Clary guessed it was the painkillers that made her a bit loopy. Izzy tried to sit up but failed. She radiated less glow than she had when sheâd been fully powered.
They talked and checked her out for a small amount of time, and then got her back to the Fairchild house. Amber and William were sitting on their couch. They seemed quite uncomfortable, looking at their broken up apartment.
As Alec and Clary moved to settle Izzy in the spare bedroom, Magnus, Simon and Jace offered to help rebuild and tidy.
Alec laid Izzy on her stomach, as she was still in her fairy form. It seemed to flicker a little, not being able to completely stay permanent anymore. She was truly exhausted. Izzy grumbled some stuff about not being useless and being able to take care of herself under her breath as they tucked her in.
She was asleep within seconds, and the wings disappeared with the rest of her fairy form. They took off her shoes, her tiara and jewelry, setting those on the bedside table before letting her sleep it off.
Soon after, the Specialists gone, Clary crashed in bed and fell asleep before she could take her clothes off.
----------------
Clary yawned as she woke up, hours later. The sun was beaming inside her bedroom, and for a moment, she forgot what had happened. It was when she moved that she remembered, because she was aching. She was aching pretty much all over.
And it hadnât been from a particularly intense gym session either. It had been from using magic. She sat up straight on her bed immediately at the thought of that and regretted it just as fast.
She still pulled herself out of bed. She slid out of the clothes sheâd been wearing the night before and had slept in. She walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Everything was still messy.
Amber and William were sitting in the kitchen, around a fresh pot of coffee, discussing something in hushed voices. Her momâs dark hair and her dadâs blond hair were almost touching from how close they were and how secretive their conversation was.
Clary cleared her throat. They looked up at her. Amber smiled softly at her daughter.
âGood morning, sweetheart,â she said.
Clary walked to the coffee pot, grabbed a mug and poured herself some. âYou never call me sweetheart.â
When she turned around, there was a heaviness in Amberâs eyes and in her smile. William sighed and gently put his hand on his wifeâs. Clary swallowed. It all seemed so⊠strange.
âWe were talking about⊠all of what happened last night.â
Clary nodded. âIâm sorry. I shouldnât have brought her home with me, it only caused trouble.â
Amber shook her head. âNo, Clary, we donât blame you at all. We donât blame her either. She tried her best to protect us, and from what the⊠men from last night said, she was pretty injured doing so.â
âWeâre just thinking about what it means for you. And for this family,â William explained. He looked tired, much more tired than Clary was used to seeing him. He looked like he had just been on a triple shift at the casern. Maybe they had spent all night talking about that.
âWe want the best for you,â Amber explained. âAnd⊠from what we saw, there is something within you that has been awakened. Something you canât control.â
Clary sat down on a stool in front of them. She gathered her hands around the burning hot mug. It didnât feel that bad. It even felt comforting.
âThe school Izzy talked about,â William sighed. âNo matter how improbable it sounds, how⊠wrong my head is telling me it is⊠Maybe it could be a good place for you to learn how to control⊠all of that.â
Clary didnât really know what to say. She wanted to go to Alfea, she could feel that it was a right choice. But diving in the strange world of magic and fairies scared her. It terrified her.
âYou wouldnât have to pay for anything⊠Only the royals pay. The rest can go for free,â Clary said softly. âIâŠâ
âBe honest with us, darling,â Amber asked. âYouâre an adult, and this is your life, your future. Does Alfea sound like a good option for you? Do you feel like you belong there?â
Claryâs heart was screaming that yes, she belonged there. But there was still a little voice in the back of her mind. A voice that told her that she wasnât good enough. That managing to create a couple of fire balls wasnât the same as using spells and having a fairy form like Izzy had.
âYes,â she still said. âI⊠I want to go. I want to try. If I donât succeed, well, Iâll come back.â
William nodded and rubbed his face with his hand for a moment. âOkay, okayâŠâ
âSo youâre leavingâŠâ
âToday,â Clary said. âThis morning, even. The term starts tomorrow, I believe.â
She saw her parents hesitate then. It was a sudden change. Clary was afraid of it too. Sheâd never left home for more than a week of vacation with a girl sheâd considered her friend in her last year of highschool.
Amber stood up. âThen,â she said, her voice a bit shakier than Clary wanted it to be. âWe need to get to packing.â
Clary stood up as well. She walked around the table and hugged her dad for a moment. He hugged her back quickly, but gently pushed her away afterwards. âGo pack,â he said softly.
Clary nodded and kissed his cheek. Amber and her walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. As they walked past the bathroom, they heard the water running. Izzy was in a good state then, if she was able to shower without issues. That made Clary feel better.
Kiko ran between their legs, yapping as they took out the suitcase and started packing.
âCan I take him?â
Amber nodded. âYes, weâve talked about it. Weâve thought it would be good for you to have him, provided that the school lets you have him.â
âIâll ask Izzy, but Iâm sure Iâll be fine.â
They packed everything that Clary could think of and closed the suitcase. Amber was a little teary-eyed. Clary didnât know what to do really, so she just hugged her tightly for a moment.
âIâll come back anyway. There sure are vacations. And Iâll make sure to get a phone that can call you the second I can,â she promised.
They walked back down the stairs where Isabelle was chatting with William. William looked like he was only understanding part of the things she was saying. Amber cleared her throat.
"Claryâs ready,â she said.
Izzy turned around and grinned. She looked much better this morning than she had when sheâd fallen asleep. She wasnât pale anymore, she looked healthy. She wasnât wearing her royal clothing anymore, nor was she in her fairy form.
She wore a burnt orange jumpsuit, nice and fluid with a v cleavage and thin straps. She had a broad, large, Egyptian-looking necklace around her neck, ornate with orange, gold and blue stones, that Clary recognized from the first outfit sheâd seen her in. It was probably something to do with her royal status. Crown jewels maybe.
Clary smiled back at her.
âYou look better,â Clary said softly.
âI just needed some sleep and Iâm all new,â Izzy chuckled, waving it off. Clary had no way to know if she was still in pain or not. Whatever she was feeling, Izzy was hiding it well.
William sighed. âWhat will I tell people when they ask where you are?â
Clary hummed. âA boarding school out of state. An Art Academy⊠prestigious and secretive. That would probably shut them up.â
Her father nodded and came to hug her again. She let go of the suitcase again and hugged him tightly.
âYou be careful, alright?â He asked.
âI promise.â
Clary and her parents bid her goodbyes. Clary tried not to focus on it much. She would be back. It wasnât forever. She hated goodbyes anyway, and she was kinda tearful and hated the idea of being this emotional in front of her new friend, who seemed to be quite the master of her own emotional responses.
Once she was done hugging her parents and Kiko had settled in her arms, Izzy looked at her and nodded. âLetâs go. We donât want to miss on the welcoming ceremony.â
She took the ring off of her finger and it extended into the scepter again. Clary was somewhat started to get used to that particular trick. Isabelle took a deep breath and brandished the scepter.
âSolaria! To Magix!â She shouted, and a bright light engulfed Clary, Kiko and her. She had time to somewhat wave goodbye to her parents for one last time before she felt herself pulled downwards. Clary closed her eyes firmly.
It was a stronger pull than the one sheâd felt in the postcard and it made her almost nauseous. It was like being distended, stretched in length in a way. Kiko whined a little.
With her eyes closed, she wasnât able to tell when they were done with the transport. All she felt was the sudden lack of pulling, and the ground she landed on.
She opened her eyes again. Izzy was standing over her, holding out her hand with a smile. âThe first time is always a bit difficult,â she chuckled and Clary rolled her eyes, taking her hand.
The grass was deep and soft, and Clary wondered how Izzy managed to stay upright when walking on it with her uncomfortable-looking high heels. Maybe it was magic. Clary was very glad to be wearing combat boots.
They were back around the area where the postcard had taken them, but this time, they were walking out of it. Izzy was leading the way towards the lavender and pink castle, her steps firm.
Clary sighed for a second. She looked behind her, where sheâd landed, where she somehow hoped she would see the line between her old life and her new life. But there wasnât any line or any doorway to Gardenia. The door had closed already. Sheâd already chosen.
âCome on!â Izzy called. âWe donât want to be late.â
Clary swallowed and turned towards the castle again. Kiko ran up towards Izzy, sniffing everything he could sniff. Izzy turned around and looked at Clary, holding out her hand again for her to take.
Clary took it.
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In the next chapter, at Alfea, Clary will discover new life and amazing new friends. But, in the Magic Dimension, she will also meet the witches from the school of Cloud Tower, the first problem she will have to deal with. Peace in Magix will be threatened.
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Little Secret
Chapter 1. Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Name and Surname: Natalie Fleur Estelle
Sex: Female
Date of Birth:Â 19th August 1692
Place ( RegistrationÂ
of    < District           Cynthell
Birth ( Sub-District
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"Here's the birth certificate. It has nothing about her parents on it as you suggested." I gave the man standing beside me, who had grown to be a brother to me, a quick, but satisfied, grunt of approval.Â
"Thank you. Keep this between us and I'll keep up my end of the deal." Quintin gave me a questioning side glance. I knew he didn't appreciate me bringing up the past but I needed him to keep this between us.
"I don't see why you won't be honest to her. For all we know she might be like you..." I knew what he was suggesting, but I refused to listen. She won't be like me. She can't be like me. I waved him away, annoyance clear as day across my face. He will be annoyed too. We both have secrets. I just don't know whose is worth more.
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Today....
Today is possibly the worst day I'll have in my life. I'm honestly not sure.Â
Today I officially turn 18 which, unluckily for me, means I have to add another thing to my job description.
Isaieth adopted me when I was born because my father died and it caused my mum to become a drunk. I don't exactly blame her for leaving and forgetting her troubles with a drink. But I also can't say I'm fond of it. I love Isaieth with all my heart, he feels like an actual father to me. But I sometimes wish I had an actual mother to help me grow as well.
When I was born my father died. No one told me how, I just know it was traumatic enough to make my mother a drunk. Isaieth adopted me when I was 2 after he had an accident that caused him to be deaf and partially blind. He wasn't fit for work anymore so the second I turned an age where I can go to the toilet by myself he taught me how to tend his farm. He makes a business by selling wheat that he grows and whatever we can get from the few animals we own. When I was 16 I found an abandoned lamb who we later discovered was a merino sheep. Merino sheep are, in my opinion, the best sheep you can get. Their carcasses are smaller than the average sheep so they aren't used for meat but rather for the wool that they grow. The average amount of wool the sheep grows is 11kg which is enough for about 11 sweaters. Aswell as the sheep we have 2 chickens, both of which are female. They were actually, in some ways, a gift from the king. The king and Isaieth are best friends almost from birth. They both grew up in royalty but only the king kept it that way. Isaieth was the son of a knight, and so in turn, Isaieth was also a knight. The king was born a prince and then was assigned a knight who happened to be Isaieth. One of the times when Isaieth was protecting the king he ended up getting seriously injured and the king fired him for his own safety. The king doesn't exactly care for the knight's wellbeing but because they were friends he decided a knight was too dangerous for Isaieth. After the event the king offered him a plot of land on the outskirts of the city that was run down and abandoned but had potential for a farm. Isaieth's dream as a boy was to grow old and have his own farm, so like any friend the king got him his own farm. Because of the friendship and countless times Isaieth saved his life our rent was greatly reduced and we were offered a permanent job to make sure we always had the money to pay rent. The job included selling off our produce from the animals. The eggs given to Isaieth was originally just starter food but Isaieth decided to keep them and let them hatch instead. When they grew to be quite old he kept a few of the last eggs they would hatch and did the same thing. The hens we have now are 1 years old, or will be in a few days. We don't get much from our farm but because of the discount on rent sometimes we have enough money to spare to get nice things. The average price of rent can go up to 100 gold.
(100 gold is like 1k, the money in this story is, bronze= pence or cents or whatever is the lowest in your country, silver= pounds or dollars etc and gold= the hundreds +. In simpler terms, but in GBP ((Great British Pounds)) terms, 1 bronze= 1 pence, 1 silver= 1 pound and 1 gold= 100 pound.)
Ours however got put down to 45 gold. It's still a lot that we just about make each month but we're still thankful that he even gave us this place to begin with. He didn't actually have to.
It's also lucky that our farm works well with rent times. Each month you have to go to the castle and pay your rent. If you dont have enough or you skip it they go to your house and either take a child, that becomes their servent who has to work for the money you didn't pay, or they take some belongings that you don't get back unless you pay extra. Luckily we've never seen it first hand but one of my childhood friends ended up becoming a servent from it. I haven't seen her since. Our wheat takes a month to grow so we've always got that to keep our money up. Unfortunately wheat sells cheap, one wheat grain sells for 30 bronze. Every month we grow, on average, 700 wheat grains but have to keep back 350 to replant so we can get 350 the next month too. So on average every month with wheat alone we make 10 gold and 5 silver. Which by itself is almost a quarter of our rent. Replanting and harvesting wheat is one of the most tedious jobs of farming, but maintaining is by far the easiest. You only have to water the plant at most once in summer but otherwise never. All you really have to do is make sure the plant isn't dying and be on your way. The worst job I have is turning the sheeps pelt into wool. She doesn't like to be milked so doing that is an annoyance but I dread making wool the most out of all the farm jobs I have. Next to maintaining the crop the hens are the easiest too. They lay at least one egg everyday, the only thing I have to do is collect the eggs without breaking them and make sure the hens are well fed and have fresh air. With making wool you have to flatten the pelt completely and then tie the strands together to make a really long piece of wool that I have to cut and ball up. It's the worst job on the entire farm but I can't say I hate doing it. My favourite thing is balling it all up after dying it. I'm just thankful all these things take a month to do or we'd be screwed on rent every month.
(Realistically these don't actually take a month, I researched so much to make the story as legit as possible but for story sake I tweaked the timing. Hens do lay one egg a day at least, if properly cared for and also depending on breed. But wheat takes a LOT longer to grow and you can only shave a sheep once a year. I changed the timing of it all tho or I'd have to be even more creative with money and stuff and tbh I'd rather not. Coming up with these ideas for the farm was hard enough.)
On average you get 2 balls of yarn out of 1kg of wool. Luckily for us our merino sheep produces 11kg of wool giving us 22 balls of yarn. 1 ball of yarn sells for 1 gold, so for 22 balls of yarn we make 22 gold. Personally I think it's extremely expensive but it does make sense considering there aren't many sheep around, which also means clothes, blankets and shoes are harder to get. On average with the hens we get 2 eggs a day. 1 egg sells for 25 silver, meaning the 2 we make in a day gives us 50 silver. There's 28 days in a month meaning with eggs alone we make 14 gold. Altogether in one month we usually make roughly 46 gold. As good of an amount as that is, 45 of it has to go to the king, leaving us with roughly 1 gold left. Because we're human and need to eat, bathe and clothe ourselves just like everyone else, whatever's left gets spent on stuff like that. On average every month we spend about 50 silver on food. I have my own plant pots in my room that we use for our own food. There's only 2 of them but in one plant pot I grow strawberries and in the other I grow raspberries. Truth be told if I sold the strawberries and raspberries we'd probably be richer but honestly, we're both kinda used to this life and although we don't have everything we want, we have everything we need. Besides the fruits take 2 months to grow and because of my reputation people would refuse to buy them for their actual price. They just about accept the other things, if fruits were in the mix I'd probably get death glares and 1 bronze for a batch. It doesn't bother me too much though because with whatever odd bit of wheat we had spare from the 700 odd we plant and sell we use that to make bread or pastry, so every 2 months we make the fruits into a jam or crush them and make a pie. My all time favourite activity is making them into pies or bread and jam with Isaieth. It's the only thing we can properly do together. He helps me replant and harvest the wheat sometimes because there's so much of it but usually he just watches from afar. His eye sight is getting worse the older he gets so he helps less and less. It saddens me because I know he doesn't want to go fully blind, we wouldn't be able to communicate at all and what kind of life are you living if you can't see or hear anything. You might as well be dead at that point or you'd be so throughly confused.Â
Getting back on track. Today is a bad day because it's the first day where I have to pay for the rent. I've been a few times with Isaieth as a child but I've never gone alone. It's an adults job and should only be done by an adult. But today, aswell as being my birthday, it's also rent day. Isaieth didn't actually want me to do it but I insisted knowing that he would have severe trouble doing it himself. And what's more is that I have to go alone to sell our produce now aswell. I don't put any blame on him and I especially will never complain. But in my head I can feel bitter about the situation.Â
I look forward to the day.....
...
No I don't.Â
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Death and Relive [pt.1]
The fear of death, according to many, is a fear of the unknown. But that cannot apply to you, youâve seen death. On more than one occasion, youâve felt death. Knowing what death is, and the aftermath of, doesnât quell the fear. Itâs the contrary.
The pain of isolation, trapped in an endless darkness, surrounded by nothing else but unfeeling voices of those you hardly remember; you know what death is, you were just only lucky that for all those times it was temporary. As was this time.
Admittedly, having some control over the situation is what kept you from going into a complete panic. As long as this isnât a permanent change, as long as you keep count on the days you return to the living world, thereâs nothing to be scared about. With that said, you still have some complaints.
One is that your needs are still very much alive somehow. But without a corporeal form, thereâs now way you can fulfill even the most trivial stuff. Sex, drinking, or just physical human interaction. Â
Another is that the dead canât sleep.
Youâve shut your eyes and tried to rest, and you think that itâs merely a lucid dream. Previously, you were at your room as just a floating spirit, complaining as per usual. Your only escape from the crushing fact that you are dead is by fiddling with your phone or computer. Turns out the horror movies were all right, ghosts can possess electronics. Now your surroundings have faded into vague shapes, then darkness.
Itâs always fucking darkness. Hooooow original. Youâre sick to death (or would it be double death) of dark abysses and all that edgy bullshit. Could a change of scenery be too much to ask for?
Though the question was only asked in your head, it seems your request was granted anyhow. The darkness shakes- the only way you could describe it is similar to distortions around a large, lit flame- and dissipates as a new environment appears around you. Judging by the numerous houses and giant castle, it has to be another village or town. Thereâs some familiarity to it, but you cannot recall coming to this place recently, or in many years in fact.
âDammit.â
You hear a voice, and youâre relieved that thereâs finally someone else to talk to. Even though it sounds like it came from some kid, and-
âElrena, language!â
Oh.Â
They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die. You cannot attest to that, being an amnesiac. So now the alternative is to discover hidden memories after your many deaths. It didnât take too much effort into following the voice and seeing a very younger you. Youâd take a guess and say she was around 13 at this point. Sheâs being lectured by a grown man wearing a unicorn mask. You wish that wasnât a legitimate thought.
âSorry! Iâm just pi- I mean, mad that I let it get away. If I couldâve thrown my knives at it I..â
âDonât worry about that. Itâll be taken care of shortly. If you need a long ranged attack, use your magic.â
âYou mean I c-â
âFrom your Keyblade...â
âReally.â
Youâre just kind of over there, hovering down slowly to the fountain and watching how bad this is going to go. The tone from the younger Elrena sounds anything but respectful. Granted itâs something youâd definitely say in present time, but you thought you were less curt in your childhood.Â
âYour talents are versatile, as they are impressive. But you have to grow more comfortable with your blade. You remember your goal, right?â
Your younger self looks downcast, but a second later her head shoots up to check on something behind her shoulder. Mustâve been that pest that got away earlier. Her blade is raised up, but rather than wielding it like a blunt weapon, she grips the handle and pommel in the same manner as positioning a rifle. The blade glows and a bolt of lightning ejects from it, hitting the target. Itâs an instant kill.
The mans large, gaudy mask obscures his face, making it hard to see his expression from your position. But you can read from his body language that thereâs a moment of approval, betraying the stern tone heâs previously used. At first he appears to be walking away, then stops once heâs right besides the young memory of you.
âYou have ambitions, Elrena, but donât let them lead you astray. I can see youâre destined for great things on the lightâs path.â
Well, that was a fucking lie, you ponder bitterly. Oh, hindsight. Whoâs this guy anyway? You remembered Ava, but how many other animal impersonating weirdos did you meet in actuality?Â
ââKay, Iâll try to remember that, Ira.â
Ira.
Itâs then you spring yourself up from your sitting spot and rush to follow him. He canât hear you, but you can follow him, right?
Nope. At some point he just disappears into thin air. Now itâs confirmed to you. This is all your memories, you didnât follow him back then, you never knew where he went.Â
Ironically, rather than locked away memories of Ira surfacing at last, you can only think of recent memories of Aqua. In some ways he reminded you of her. Her seriousness when it came to telling you that youâre wrong about things, the warmth sheâd give when sheâd, God forbid, see anything good in you, her persistence in guiding you to the right path despite you taking a nosedive to the booze every other mental breakdown.Â
You just compared this woman to a horse furry, great job.
Why are you even thinking of her at this time? This is no time for yearning, young lady, you are DEAD. Soon your unbeating heart will start aching since you know you canât hug her and make up for being such a big, shitty, stupid pile of garba- Oh god, itâs already happening. Stop this silliness at once and go on to the next memory.Â
The location is pretty much unchanged, and now itâs a different adult approaching younger you. This one you can already tell from the pink gown and fox mask. Itâs the same women who once brought you all to gave foreboding news that you were all up against an imminent apocalypse- which may or may not have never happened- otherwise known as a Keyblade War.Â
Ava is talking, but unlike the previous conversation with Ira, sheâs having a more quiet and private conversation with younger Elrena. Before you can inch in closer to hear better, Ava already breaks away, bows her head politely and leaves.
For fucks sake, are there rewind buttons on this?
The memory doesnât end yet. Your younger self starts muttering, one word you can make out particularly clear.
Dandelions?
Itâs not just a name. Itâs how you survived. Survived whatever the fuck happened between that and losing your heart the first time. The large, abnormal gap in your memory is closing, even if by inches.Â
You have a feeling this âdreamâ is going to last a while...
#[ic status]#alcohol mention //#[I DIDNT INTEND FOR THIS TO BE A TWO PARTER BUT IT GOT WAY TOO LONG SOWWY]]
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Hey Arnold! thoughts/opinions
Hey Arnold! is still my most favorite show to come from Nickelodeon. While Invader Zim is great, HA! can give you warm, fuzzy feelings and it has great messages for young kids. Itâs hilariously funny, clever, realistic, and has a lot of heart and good morals without getting overly preachy or sappy.
Hey Arnold! is the only cartoon my father not only took seriously; he actually complimented it and he loves Helgaâs crush on Arnold.
If I were to make a list of âBest Episodes of Cartoons Everâ, âHelga On the Couchâ would easily be in the Top Five. Really, the whole preschool flashback makes me want to sob so hard. I swear the Christmas episode WILL choke you up. Itâs beautiful.
Some complain that Arnold is too bland and nice but I think heâs a great role model for young kids. Heâs such a sweet character, a childâs voice of reason. Iâm willing to bet that adult fans other than myself heard him say âI know youâll do the right thingâ in their heads more than a few times....whether you want to hear it or not. Ha, is that ever the perfect guilt trip!!
Not to beat a dead horse, but Helga Pataki is an amazingly complex character. I love that she can be antagonistic yet sympathetic at the same time. I love how every time she does wrong, she either has to make it right or karma punishes her.(which Craig says is extremely important) Sheâs funny, a little crazy, insecure, and even when she is being terrible, you almost want her to win. She pretty much stole the show; it could be called âHey Helga!â for a good chunk of the episodes.
I ship Helga and Arnold 100% with every fiber of my being. Is it unhealthy? Hereâs the thing; they are both children. Children have not yet grown up into the people they will be for the rest of their lives. Children make mistakes. They grow. They mature. Arnold is already really mature for his age and heâs pure-hearted at that, which makes him the perfect influence on Helga, like weâve been shown oh so many times in every episode that focuses on her. Is her obsession with him too selfish? Well, it can be.....but again, she corrects herself (or the show will) when she goes too far; most importantly, she also seems to recognize on her own when sheâs going overboard later on in the show. (Character development!!!) Weâve seen her capable of being kind, capable of making sacrifices even if she ends up with nothing, and still be happy for Arnold. For a child with such a neglectful upbringing, thatâs.....impressive. I think thatâs a beautiful example of what love means. Itâs also tragic that the times she is able to make him happy, she remains in the shadows so he doesnât even know itâs her. ;_;
Many ship Rhonda and Harold but I personally prefer Rhonda and Sid. Harold and Patty seem totally MADE for each other.
The Lila-bashing in this fandom actually shocked me a little bit when I first discovered it. I think her character is fine (though her taste in men is questionable to say the least XD) Also she seems to be a Shipper on Deck for Helga; and how can you hate someone like that?
My favorite minor character is Willy, the Jolly-Olly man. Heâs a jerk....cause he hates what he does for a living. Well, hello prototype Squidward. :D
Even as a person who is not fond of jazz, the music for this cartoon is incredible. Talk about capturing moods so perfectly.
Not every episode has a happy ending and I love that. Thatâs just how life goes sometimes. Itâs so realistic but not so depressing that itâs discouraging you away from seeing more.
For a 90s kidsâ show on Nick, HA! did some things a little differently; it could focus on adults and their adult problems (i.e. Oskar not being a good husband to his wife, Phil grieving over the thought of death, Mr. Hyunh wishing to reunite with his grown daughter) This was something we really didnât see back then. Itâs good weâre seeing more of it in todayâs shows. Indeed, the spotlight doesnât always need to be on a child protagonist in order to have great story-telling and resonate with an all-ages audience. And because of this, we got some fantastic adult humor too. :D
Aside from Arnold and Helga of course, Hey Arnold! has a huge cast of diverse characters from kids to adults and they are all likable and engaging. It takes quite a lot of effort and skilled writing and acting to make this happen. Even if theyâre jerks, you can at least count on them to say something funny.
I have one minor complaint: Most of the kids ARE TOO MATURE. Itâs so weird to think of them as nine. I feel like Arnold and his gang act like sixth-graders, the actual fifth and sixth graders act more like high schoolers....okay, even the sixth grade girls talk and act more like college kids.
If you have never checked out this animated series but love good cartoons, I suggest you do it right now. Watching it in chronological order is not particularly necessary (to enjoy it) but you may appreciate the evolution of the show better that way (especially the art and character writing).
#hey arnold#been watching it alot again and felt like writing this#helga pataki#arnold shortman#craig bartlett#good cartoon#nickelodeon#the splat
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When you travel the world for years and explore exotic environments, you are bound to get a lot of questions whenever you talk to people. You say that you are a natural historian, explain what you do and people immediately take you as a kind of explorer. Then comes the questions. I could probably rattle off about a dozen or so questions that I have heard over a million times during my travels. Be it honest inquiries or quips that have long lost their humor, they have become quite weary to hear. Out of all of them, there has been one that I have always found quite strange. "Have you seen a unicorn?" I cannot for the life of me figure out why people ask me that so much. They always want to know if I have seen a unicorn, either in a serious or joking manner. Why? What is so crazy or absurd about a unicorn? It's a horse that has a horn. True, it is quite a pretty horse, and rather elusive, but it is by no means some impossible alien being that dwells where man cannot reach. To answer that question, yes. I have seen a unicorn, several in fact. This incredibly rare, somewhat mythical, species is not all that hard to find when you know where to look. It might be a bit easier to find them if stinking poachers didn't keep shooting them and cutting off their horns. That issue aside, I have indeed seen these creatures, but not for the reasons you think. While unicorns are fascinating in their own right, my time in their territory was focused more on the creatures that walk like them. I was there for the unicons. When I write unicon, I mean it. It is not a typo or some error, I truly mean unicon. Despite the oddity of their name, unicons are totally real creatures, and quite bizarre ones at that. Their body shape is almost exactly like that of a unicorn's but everything else is radically different. While unicorns are mammalian creatures, unicons seem to be a bit more reptilian. Instead of ivory fur and flowing hair, they possess rough scales and sharp spines. Their appendages end in bladed hooves and spurs. Their tails are more like a rat's rather than a horses, and a nasty barb hides at the end of the whipping appendage. They lack the beautiful coiled horn of the unicorn and instead carry a nasty spur of bone that looks like a rotted tooth. While unicorns may be seen as symbols of purity and innocence, unicons are more like the filthy disease that floats in the scum of a putrid well.Â
Not only are their appearances radically different, but their behavior and ways are as well. Unicorns are strictly herbivorous, while unicons are violently carnivorous. That is not even an exaggeration, unicons are nasty little buggers when it comes to hunting and eating. They tear into food like vultures on a carcass, making an unnecessary mess out of the whole ordeal. As meat eaters, they have quite the supply of tools for downing prey. Crushing teeth, sharp spines and powerful hooves make for deadly weapons, but the real killer is their "horn." The "horn" of a unicon acts more like the fang of a viper, as it is hollow and capable of injecting venom into prey. This venom is extremely potent and kills within minutes. It seems to target the nerves, causing victims to be wracked by seizures and spasms before suffocating as their muscles shut down. As of now, there is no antidote for this powerful venom, probably since many do not wish to approach this creature, not intentionally anyway. Some may look at this horrible beast and wonder how it is capable of taking down prey or causing havoc. Clearly everyone could see that it is some horrible abomination and that they should quickly vacate the premises. Why would any prey not detect something this vile and obvious? Well, the mechanics behind the answer are not fully known, but the short response is because unicons don't walk around looking like that. Instead, these creatures disguise themselves as unicorns, and use that species' reputation as a way to get prey to drop their guard. No one fully knows how these reptilian creatures are capable of mimicking the exact appearance of a mammal, as its disguise is too perfect to be organically based. How would you explain it suddenly being covered in pure white fur and bear an ivory mane? How could something like that put on a disguise that intricate within seconds? One moment, it looks like some warped dragon and then the next it is a pristine horned horse prancing through fields of tulips and daisies. No one knows what allows them to do this. Theories range from shapeshifting or extremely intricate camouflage to mass hypnosis or clouding of the mind. I am not one who knows much about magic, but I wouldn't be surprised if these creatures used some form of it to pull off this feat. With this stunning ability to mimic the beautiful, naive unicorns, unicons primarily get their food through ambush tactics. Other woodland creatures are accustomed to unicorns and know they are no threat, so they often let them get close without any worry. Unicons prey on this trust, waltzing up to a happy deer and then viciously mauling it before it realizes it has been duped. This method also works extremely well on cultures that fantasize unicorns and view them as beautiful, magnificent creatures. A child or even a grown adult may spot the gorgeous horse and approach it in wonder and curiosity. The unicon will play the part, until it gets in stabbing range. I can't imagine how many awe-filled victims have fallen for this trap, thinking they are approaching a mythical creature before being horribly murdered. It might explain some myths that claim that unicorns kill those who are "unworthy" or "wicked of heart." Can't say it is ridiculous to assume when a majestic horse suddenly turns into a scaly monstrous creature and bites your throat out. Especially since they find that sort of thing endlessly amusing. Bad enough that unicons are vicious beasts, but they are also intelligent. While they may not have the faculties of a human or dryad, they do have quite the brain in their skulls. Unicons can set up elaborate traps, or act to lure in prey. They seem to find amusement in tricking others and have quite a good time mauling prey. In fact, unicons enjoy hunting so much that they often change their method of execution each time they down prey. The first victim may be killed with venom, while the next will be trampled to death, followed by a third that will be shredded by their teeth. Unicons seem to enjoy these different ways of killing, and seem to grow bored with repetition. This cruelty is not functional on a simple level, which indicates some form of an intelligent mind. The wolves do not laugh about their kills, and the manticore does not "change things up" to keep itself amused. These are frivolous things that only higher minds care about, a cruelty that is beyond the simple realms of survival. This can be seen when unicons decide to prey on sapient creatures like humans. They love tricking them and acting like they are majestic innocent animals so that they can lure them into a deadly trap. Some stories tell of unicons that have gotten humans to ride their backs, only to have their rough scales shred the flesh from their legs. Others have told how unicons may allow themselves to be "captured" so that they can be taken back home and slaughter the entire family. Even those who poach unicorns have dealt with these creatures, who will act wounded in order for the shooters to come within killing range. When prey is cut down, the unicons usually let out a clattering cackle before tearing into their dead (or sometimes not dead) meal. While unicons mimic unicorns for hunting purposes, that is not their only interactions with these creatures. It turns out that unicons use them for breeding, like some sort of parasite. Unicons are capable of mating with unicorns, but what is birthed will always be a unicon. They shall put on their disguises, breed, and then let their young be raised by the oblivious creatures. It seems that unicons are born with this mimicking power, making it so that their unicorn parent does not realize the monster they are raising. In time, the young will develop enough to run away from its foster parent and start up its cruel life of slaughtering and devouring. In some cases, unicons have even acted as brood parasites, swapping their young out with a unicorn's so that they could eat the foal and let the unwitting parent do the real work. It's an insidious method, but one that sadly seems to work quite well. At the end of it all, natural historians and citizens alike are puzzled by the purpose or origin of the unicons. A species that relies solely on the existence of a quite rare species seems a bit odd to form naturally. How could unicons have a healthy population when they rely on an animal that does not have a large population itself? What would happen if unicons grew overpopulated and fully consumed their hosts? What would happen then? Would they drop the ruse or keep it up? Could we reach a time in the future where unicorns have perished without our knowing, their images only surviving in the very things that slaughtered them? How could such a system function? If these beings are not natural, then where did they come from? Are they magical experiments gone awry? Are they beings crossed over from another plane? Or could they be the response to the poaching and hunting that has devastated the unicorn species? Perhaps the supposedly magical horses have grown bitter and hateful of the masses that kill them, and have grown into horrid things that would prey upon our assumptions. Who knows! I sure don't! Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian
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Staff App - Hawks
Played by Admin Grimm
OOC:
Name: Grimm
Age: 21
Preferred Pronouns: Any!
Timezone: PST
Discord: N/A
Any topics you want added to the content warning list?: Pandemics
Second choice character?: BakugoÂ
IC:
Name: Takami Keigo AKA âHawksâ
Age: 27
Gender ID / pronouns: Trans Male, He/Him
OTPs, BroTPs, or NoTPS?: EndHawks baby⊠As far as BroTPs go Iâm down for basically anything- Iâm hoping for friendship between him and Rumi, but ultimately will be up for whatever has good chemistry/history in the setting of the group.
Race: Skyfolk
Appearance: Hawks is of average height and has a narrow but athletic build. Despite his small size, he holds a great deal of muscle packed into his form, and could probably crush a skull between his thighs if he wanted. He has large, terra cotta colored wings, although he mostly keeps them folded against his back nowadays. His hair is long, messy, and blond, but typically tied back into a braid.Â
Role: Prince Consort of the Elves, Elven Ambassador to the Skyfolk, Former Skyfolk Chieftain, and Royal Pain in the Ass.
Skills:
Hawks was once one of the fastest and most acrobatic flyers in his tribe; he still retains some of these skills, although he is limited by his injured shoulder.
Hawks can use both a sword and a bow with deadly accuracy mid flight, and has hunted all sorts of animals to feed his people.
When it comes to grounded combat, however, he is average at best with a blade. Heâs still learning to compensate for his newfound lacking mobility.
He is excellent at reading others, a skill which helped him serve as chief, and is dedicated to helping others - it should be noted, however, that his communication skills are solely diplomatic. When it comes to his own personal thoughts and feelings he is garbage at communicating.
Backstory:
( i. )
There exists a species of bird which possesses exceptionally colorful tail feathers. Itâs just a pheasant and it struggles to fly, spending most of its days grounded. It poses little threat, but itâs feathers are bright and vibrant and serve as a warning to would-be-predators. âDanger,â they say, and though a bluff, they are quite effective. For the most part, the birds are left alone.
Sometimes(all the time), youâre that bird.
So maybe your feathers are dull, and your wings are average size at best, and youâre nothing particularly special to look at - But thatâs not the point.
Youâre just like that bird, because all you have to do is flash a vibrant and energized smile, and suddenly youâre the picture perfect representation of what your peers should aspire to be. Never mind your struggles, your anguish, or your pain. Never mind your lost childhood, your missing parents, and your failure at making friends. None of that matters in the slightest. Youâre not angry. Youâre not upset. Youâre not in despair.Â
You smile and wave and suddenly, youâre not just some orphaned, washed out, failure of a replacement chief - suddenly, youâre a warrior. A leader. Determined. Hard working. The child prodigy who took over an entire tribe at fourteen. A man who never lets anything drag him down.
Itâs better this way.
( ii. )
Thereâs a species of bird which is preyed upon by anything and everything in its environment. It lives in constant stress and fear of being caught out, torn apart, and eaten - or, it probably would, if it possessed the same sentience as people. Itâs small, fluffy, and even as an adult, appears to be newly hatched. It spends most of its life seeking out small bugs and seeds. It hides, in hopes that a predator of its own predator will grant it just a few moments longer.
Sometimes(just today), youâre that bird.
Youâve grown into your role now, more than you thought you might - and maybe the discomfort and the emotional volatility doesnât really go away, but youâre good at hiding it, and you think thatâs good enough.
But youâre just like that bird, helpless in your own environment.
Youâve heard of dragons. Youâre not stupid, you know what they are. A dragon took your parents and injured countless others, naturally youâve been educated. But education and preparation are two very different states of being, and youâre not sure any amount of knowledge could have possibly prepared you.Â
Youâre meeting with the other elders about something or another. You donât really remember, after, and itâs probably not important, anyway - the sudden roar and burst of wind warns you too late to completely dodge the claws lunging your direction.Â
Dragon.
The aftermath is chaotic; since youâre injured, youâre responsible for leading the evacuation, not for fighting. Every part of your body aches with discontent at running away, but thereâd be no point in forcing yourself into combat. It would be stupid, and no matter how chaotic your thoughts might be, youâre not suicidal. So you obey, you lead your people to safety, and you watch as another fells the beast.
After, all you can think about is that you didnât do anything. But it matters little. The beast is gone. Youâre alive. You let a healer see to your injuries.
( iii. )
Today, youâre a fledgling bird about to leave the nest for the first time.
It doesnât matter that youâve already learned to fly, that youâre a leader and a warrior, or that youâre more adult than any of your peers will ever be- Today, you leave.
Thereâs a tradition amongst your people that all must go through before becoming chief - you skipped that, before, because your predecessor expired prematurely and your tribe was desperate for leadership. You had big shoes to fill, and you filled them as needed, but now, itâs time to move on. The dragon plaguing your people is dead, and though you still loathe your lack of involvement in the affair, youâre doing your best to move on with life. That means following tradition.Â
It is custom for would-be-chieftains to travel for one year in solitude, surviving entirely off the land and the world around them. When they return, they are given a new title befitting of a leader, and they are welcomed with open arms back into their family.
You donât really need to do that, all of your tribesmen already accept you as their undisputed leader, but you feel utterly useless when you remember how quickly the dragon struck you down. So you make a decision, and you place someone else in charge as interim leader as you prepare yourself for a long journey.
The thing about fledgling birds, though, is that they very rarely return to their nest of origin. You intend to return, so maybe youâre not like a fledgling at all-Â
When you take flight, you feel dread seep into your bones. You keep flying, but you donât look back, for fear that any glance home may be your last.Â
( iv. )
You process the sound, first. Then thereâs light, followed by pain, followed by delirium and the sensation of falling. You hit several tree branches as you descend - you know, because you feel the leaves and twigs rake against your flesh - but itâs difficult to determine how many. You hit the ground hard, pain exploding through your young body, and think to yourself, âthis is it. This is death.â
Then, thereâs void.
But you donât die.
You drift in and out of consciousness for several weeks before you do finally wake. Your surroundings are unfamiliar, full of soft fabrics and lush plant life. Youâre⊠In what appears to be a bed - you think - you know that humans and Elves keep different bedding from your own race, but youâve never seen one quite like this. Itâs soft and much larger than youâre used to, and it seems reflective of wealth and status.Â
Pulling yourself into a sitting position takes incredible effort, and you realize with great disdain that your wings are injured. You manage, though, and find yourself looking up at a large Elven man.
So, hereâs the state of things: You were struck by lightning. Youâre recovering with the Elves, in the kingâs guest chambers. This man is the Elven king himself. Youâre making good progress. But.
And thereâs always a but.
You might never fly again.
Itâs⊠A lot to process. And even in the following weeks, as you regain your strength and begin moving about and exploring your new surroundings, you still struggle to wrap your head around it. Flying has been second nature to you. Instinctual. Another part of your existence as a Skyfolk. You canât fathom a life without it.
Youâre a caged, flightless bird, right now. Enji is nice. Extremely nice. Nicer than he really ought to be, all things considered. You refuse to call him King Todoroki because you like pushing his buttons, and secretly, you think he likes it too. But⊠Thereâs still something missing. This isnât right. You need to finish your journey and return home, but you canât do that without your flight. No matter how accommodating Enji is, it still doesnât change the fact that youâre lounging around a golden cage and you really do not belong here.
So when your wings are deemed as healed up as theyâll ever be, you start sneaking out. You canât get off the ground. Not yet. But you hope with enough practice, someday youâll soar once again.
( v. )
Youâre a hawk, now.
You donât believe it, personally. Hawks are fierce, powerful, and incredible flyers - youâre weak, emotional, and barely able to slip off the ground on a good day. But Enji insists youâre a hawk, and you canât bring yourself to argue, because nobody has ever seen your real persona before and thought so highly of it.Â
Maybe thatâs the nature of your relationship, though. Itâs difficult to tell.Â
Youâre a fighter. You keep trying no matter how many times you fall, because you hate the idea of remaining grounded. Enji is there to catch you, to patch up your scrapes and bruises, and offer encouragement in how own unique way. And finally, when you do manage to take off and soar above the trees, you feel alive. This is what you were missing.Â
This is who you are.
But.
You wouldnât be here without Enji. Youâd be dead, or worse - and youâre grateful, you really are, but you donât know how to ever repay him. Soon youâll be stable enough to continue with your life, and youâll need to leave and go home. Enji canât go with you. He has a kingdom to run, and youâve accepted that. You tell yourself itâs whatâs right. That it was inevitable and this is the way things are meant to be.
But.Â
In the months youâve been with the Elves, youâve learned their culture and their customs. Maybe you donât really fit in, but you enjoy their way of life, and you love the people youâve met. Back home, you had friends and family, sure, but there was so much pressure - For the first time in your entire life, you feel free. Freedom is terrifying. Powerful. You crave it.
You reach a crossroads. Go home and face your responsibilities or stay and learn to enjoy your life. Itâs not an easy decision to make - there was so much resting on your shoulders, and maybe there still is, because youâre expected to return, sooner or later.
But.
Youâre a hawk. Youâre fierce, determined, and you follow your heart.Â
So you stay.
Extras:
Hawks can still fly, but he reaches his limit much faster due to his previous injury. He chooses to just walk most places instead, keeping his wings tucked against his back when heâs in motion to better balance the weight.Â
He is a little spoon at heart, but tends to be a big spoon in practice due to his absurdly large wings. He has to sleep on his stomach or his side to get comfortable.
Hawks loves fried foods, particularly fried birds; heâs been told this could be interpreted as cannibalistic, but refuses to stop eating meat anytime soon.
Keigo was his birth name, and although he is trans, he does not find discomfort with it because of dysphoria; itâs a remnant of his parents, and Skyfolk gender is wonky anyway.
In spite of that, Hawks only allows his former tribesmen to call him Keigo; he much prefers to be called Hawks.
Writing sample:
Keigoâs been in a weird sort of state lately. The injuries havenât exactly helped his energy levels, sure, but given heâs mostly recovered, he should be able to get out of his bed and wander. And still, heâs skipping meals. Choosing to lay around. A stranger might consider him lazy. Enji doesnât berate him for the behavior, and Keigo considers that a miracle. He doesnât know if he could handle judgement over this melancholy. Not like he can control it, anyhow.Â
So they spend the days talking. Sometimes Enji reads to him. Keigo had never imagined how deep and rich the Elven culture is - heâd heard some things, in passing. The Elves were mostly isolated, before, so whatever he had heard was mostly secondhand, and, as Keigo is now learning, incorrect.
Theyâre sitting in bed, Keigo pressed firmly against Enjiâs side. Heâs been told that Elves donât ordinarily allow this type of contact, but Keigoâs never been pushed away, and itâs one of the few things that keeps him grounded. Enji sets aside the scroll heâd been reading from and gently runs a hand over Keigoâs feathers.
âIâve told you much about my people, but Iâve not heard much of yours.âÂ
Keigo stiffens. âI didnât think youâd want to learn about them.â
âI do. I donât even know why you ended up so far from them.âÂ
Well, thatâs fair. Keigo supposes that, at the very least, he owes an explanation. That much information is hardly a concealed secret, just⊠Emotional? No. Thatâs not the right word, but he doesnât have any better way to describe it. He shrugs. âItâs tradition for future chieftains to travel for a year, prior to taking charge. A right of passage, you know. When they return home, they take a new name, and are given the honor of leading.â He smiles softly as he speaks, the familiarity giving him some small comfort in this bittersweet reality.
Enji frowns. âYou were to be chief, then?â
âOh, yes. I was. I wonât be, now. I canât fly.â As if to prove his point, Keigo attempts to move his left wing, the one that took the brunt of the lightning strike. It barely twitches.
âYou still could. My healers donât know much of your anatomy, your wings might still recover.â
Keigo really, truly wants to believe him, but heâs sick and tired of getting his hopes up. Heâs probably not going to regain his flight. Thereâs no point fixating on a fantasy. Not when it only brings disappointment. He leans closer, nuzzling his face into the crook of Enjiâs neck. âPlease donât⊠I canât...â
âKeigo.â Enjiâs voice is strong, firm, and determined. Keigo bites at his lip, muscles tensing. âYouâre strong. You want to recover, and you will.â Then, after a pause, he asks, âyouâre given new names when you return, as a sign of strength?â
Hesitantly, Keigo nods. âYeahâŠâÂ
âThen allow me to give you one now. Youâre a fighter. Youâve shown me that much with your⊠Fiery attitude.âÂ
Oh, thatâs one way to phrase it.
After a nod, Enji continues. âYouâre a bird of prey, fierce. Powerful. Agile, fast, cunning, and a bit of an ass sometimes, even when youâre still recovering. But youâre a creature to be revered and awed. Like a swarm of hawks.â
âHawksâŠâ Keigo says, the name foreign on his tongue. âMy name is⊠Hawks.âÂ
Maybe, just maybe, he can get used to it, in time.
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My Starscream Initiation, Part 1
I was asked to share my Starscream initiation story, so here's my attempt. It got long, so I'm going to split it into at least three posts. The first two deal with the pre-history of my journey, including some childhood recollections that seem relevant. I don't want to bore people, though, so if you're looking for information that could relate to your own initiation process (with Starscream, or any other guide), you might want to wait for Part 3. On the other hand, if you're curious about the deep background of how I came to this path, read on!
Above: A painting of my Eagle guide, done when I was four or five. They came flying from far away, Now I'm under their spell; I love hearing the stories that they tell. They've seen places beyond our land, And found new horizons; They speak strangely, but I understand. ~ Abba, Eagle
One of my earliest memories is of opening my bedroom window one night, leaning out, and whispering into the darkness. I was whispering to God, and I thought he'd hear me better with the window open. I didn't know how to pray, so I said the holiest words that I knew at the time: "thee," and "thou." I didn't know what they meant, but I knew they were sacred words because I'd only ever heard them used in readings from the Bible. I'm not sure how old I was. Maybe four? But I do remember how strongly I felt the impulse to reach out and make something beyond myself.
I've never truly doubted the existence of God, though my later religious training made me want to doubt. At one point, I remember trying to be an atheist. It would be easier, I thought, to simply not believe in God than to believe in that God, the one who seemed to consider me inferior due to the female body he had created me with, who had created animals without giving them souls, who turned people into salt pillars as punishment for minor infractions, and would cast his beloved children into a pit of eternal damnation simply for believing the wrong things. I was told that this God loved me, and I was supposed to love him back, but I couldn't; I didn't even like him!
Yet I soon discovered that I couldn't not believe. God was always just there. Maybe not exactly the God I'd learned about in Bible, but an unseen presence that hovered just beyond the limits of my senses; ineffable, yet undeniable. My experiment with atheism lasted about three days before I called it quits. I can still remember the feeling of relief that swept over me when I stopped forcing myself to disbelieve. Denying the presence that I felt took more energy out of me than trying to reconcile it with my religious training. I believe it was at that moment that I became a seeker - of the small "s" variety, of course.
Eagle Encounters
Around the same age that I was leaning out my window and whispering shy prayers into the darkness, I was given a magical kite. It was shaped like a Golden Eagle, and he was magnificently realistic. I named him Aeola - or really, Ayola, since I got the name by removing the "c" and the "r" from "Crayola." I thought it made a fine name for an Eagle, and he seemed to agree. I remember as I was falling asleep one night I had a clear mental image of my Aeola as a real eagle. He was circling above a mountain range, wings spread majestically against the sunset sky. Looking back, I think this was my first awareness of having a totem animal, or spirit guide.
Several years later, I had another brief vision involving a bird. I was a student in Catholic school by then, and was struggling with my doubts about religion versus my indelible faith in an unseen divine presence that I could only think of as God. As best as I can remember, I asked for an image of what my ideal relationship with God could look like, and the image that came to me was of a boy and a bird. The boy was shirtless, with brown skin and curly black hair that fell halfway to his shoulders, and I somehow knew that he was me. He was walking through the world with the bird flying above him, his steps guided by its unseen presence, and I have often wondered if he represents one of my past lives.
Perhaps this imagery was influenced by depictions of the Holy Spirit in the form of a dove, but the image really didn't feel very Christian, and the bird was definitely of the raptor variety, a hawk or an eagle. The image held such a deep sense of trust, belonging and partnership that I immediately knew that *that* was the relationship I wanted with the divine. I wanted to move through life with that same sense of divine guidance. I just didn't know how to get there, particularly under the auspices of religion as I then knew it, which emphasized dogma, rote ritual and obedience to church authority over anything that could be considered mystical.
In my late teens, another Eagle soared into my life, namely Starscream, an F-15 Eagle from Cybertron, and I fell hopelessly in love with him. It wasn't just that he was tall (25 feet tall, as a rough estimate), or handsome (though he definitely is, even if he does say so himself!), or that he's the proverbial "bad boy" that teenaged girls are known for falling for. I mean sure, it *was* all those things, but it was so much more. I identified with Starscream so intensely that even to this day, I struggle to put the feeling into words. My feelings for him have grown and deepened over time, which adds a further layer of complexity, but if it could have been summed up in a single word, that word might have been rebellion.
Above: Starscream perched on Bruticusâ shoulder, in one of my all-time favorite moments of rebellion. From âStarscreamâs Brigade.â
My Rebel Seeker
Starscream was everything I wasn't. And no, I'm not referring to his abilities to shapeshift or fly, as enviable as those are. I'm talking about his courage. Yeah, I know. He's continually ridiculed for his supposed cowardice, but Starscream is brave. He speaks his mind; he questions authority - and we're talking, here, about an authority figure with a very short temper and a very large fusion cannon. He values himself. He's not afraid to dream big or to go after what he wants, even though he gets knocked down again and again. He gets punished, degraded and humiliated, yet he never gives up. He loves his life and is unafraid to live it, even in the face of death. That's courage.
That's a heroism that I could believe in, far more than the pious acts of self-sacrifice that were generally sold as heroism within the show's narrative. Starscream's struggle against Megatron was my struggle with the authoritarian forces in my own life, starting with the coldly judgmental version of God I'd been taught to believe in, all the way down through bullying teachers, bosses, and kids at school. In Starscream, I saw all the times I'd been bullied, silenced, threatened or humiliated for daring to ask questions or defy some arbitrary rule, and I wanted him to win. For both of us.
I wanted to see him break free, to find clear skies in which to soar without limits. I wanted him to be respected, appreciated, and listened to (I mean after all, he was usually right). Most of all, I wanted him to be loved. Still, this might never have become more than a particularly intense character crush if it weren't for a singular, galvanizing event that struck me, like a bolt from the blue, in the summer of 1986. That event was Transformers: The Movie.
Until that point, my love for Starscream had been a cherished indulgence, a last romp in the fields of childhood before I was forced to go out into what seemed like the cold, inhospitable and frankly boring world of adult-ness. Loving Starscream should have been safe, or so I believed. He was a character in a cartoon, and nothing truly bad ever happens in a cartoon. Sure, there might be explosions and all that, but you always see the little parachutes right after, so you know that everyone's safe. Right?
Well⊠not right. And if you've ever seen the '86 TF movie, you already know why.
This Ain't The Summer of Love
The truth is, I'd never realized how much Starscream meant to me. Not until that moment when I watched him die on-screen. I probably should have been expecting it. The movie had featured deaths aplenty up until that point, yet it somehow never quite occurred to me that Starscream - my Starscream - could actually die. Or that the makers of the series would be foolish enough to imagine that the show could possibly do without him (take your pick). And also that other thing: that cartoon characters you adore aren't supposed to be violently disintegrated before your very eyes.
I remember staring at the screen in numb shock. Had that really just happened? I sat through the rest of the movie in a stupor. There was something about Quintessons, the planet Junk, and a whole lot of Sharkticons being jumped, but I couldn't tell you much about the plot. I didn't bother paying attention, because in my heart I was still back on Cybertron, staring at the smoking pile of embers that had been Starscream. I had lost my ability to care about anything else, and somewhere in the midst of all this, a profound sense of grief and betrayal started to bubble up.
In some indefinable way, the rules had been rewritten. My understanding of reality - of how things were "supposed" to be - had been challenged at its very core. I now believe that was the true start of my initiatory journey, though of course I had no idea at the time. I was just crushed. And yeah, I can imagine what some people might say about all this. My grief wasn't real, because Starscream wasn't a real person.
Well, it was real. It felt as if a part of me had died with him. The subconscious mind doesnât differentiate between "real" experiences and ones that take place in one's mind or imagination. Itâs the vividness and emotional intensity of an experience which makes it seem real to the subconscious mind, not whether it meets some objective standard of reality. Thatâs why creative visualization works. As far as my subconscious was concerned, I had just witnessed the murder of a loved one, and my emotions responded accordingly.
My Year of Rage
Unlike someone who had *actually* witnessed a traumatizing event, though, there was no one I could talk to about it. I didn't even try with anyone who wasn't a fan, but the reactions I got from other fans were mostly unsympathetic. Starscream got what he deserved, I was told, because he was a villain. He was too ambitious, having overstepped his appointed role in life. He was a traitor. His voice was irritating. Yes, I heard 'em all. One person even compared him, memorably, to the Christian devil. (I might get back to that incident in another post - we'll see.)
Besides being heartbroken over Starscream's death, I was stung by its underlying message. It felt intensely personal. It seemed to be saying that if I spoke out, questioned authority, got too "uppity," I would be shot down. Crushed flat. And that people might even laugh and cheer over my destruction, as some members of the audience had done when Starscream was killed.
I also knew, on some level, that Starscream had been killed because of capitalism. Somebody had decided that his toy, as well as those of the other characters who died in the Movie, were obsolete. They clearly thought they could make more money by emphasizing the newer toy lines, and somehow found it necessary - or perhaps fun - to kill off all the older characters in order to do so. That was the world I was about to enter. A world in which absolutely nothing was sacred except the bottom line, and I had no idea how I would survive in such a heartless place.
I got angry. And I don't mean a garden variety fit of temper. I mean a seething, boiling pit of rage opened up in the pit of my belly and spilled over in a tidal wave of unstoppable fury. It was a lifetime of anger that I'd stored up out of guilt, and fear, and the notion that girls aren't "supposed" to get angry. Well I'd had it with that. Starscream was never shy about expressing his temper, and somehow that made it possible for me to express mine. I raged for a year.
I drove angry. I listened to angry music on my car stereo, and screamed along with the lyrics. I no longer stuffed my feelings, and did not hesitate to go off on anyone who dared to cross me. I was an absolute nightmare to be around, and my family must have wondered what had gotten into me. The truth was, I just needed to get all that out of me. I needed to let go of the bitter, toxic emotional sludge I'd been carrying, and Starscream gave me the courage to do that. It wasn't pretty, but it was needed.
For the first time in my life, I felt moderately empowered. I had a job and a car, both of which left much to be desired, but they did give me a degree of independence I'd never had before. I changed my name, choosing to go by my middle name instead of my first, and I started writing.
Naturally, I wrote about Starscream. (Continued in Part 2....)
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Weekly Rambles: Samurai Jack Season 5 Episode 1 Review
Warning: Lengthy Post Which Contains Spoilers
Long ago, in a bygone time, Cartoon Network, the once great master of childrenâs animation, unleashed an amazing show upon the world, which featured a samurai misplaced in time trying to find his way home in order to defeat a powerful foe, all while trying to survive in a future he seeks to erase. It was mature, thought provoking, powerful and full of much talent and style. But, everything changed when the ratings became a most bothersome factor. It appeared that, a the time, people had grown bored, and a movie was out of the question after the apparent poor reception of The Powerpuff Girls film. So, the series was cancelled. Eleven years later, a stir from the network caused a celebration like no other. A new season was to come, one last hurrah for the series to truly conclude on. It would offer more mature elements and an epic tale which would make the over decade long wait well worth the time spent pinning for a worthwhile conclusion. Finally, the tale of our beloved samurai will have a definite end which will hopefully involve him accomplishing a most vexing mission. But an ending cannot exist without a beginning, which made itâs debut on March 11th, 2017.
âXCIIâ begins with a nonhuman mother, her daughter and infant child running away from their destroyed city and the Beetle Drones that now encircle them. Just when it appears hopeless for the family, a mysterious warrior clad in black armor charges at the robots on a weaponized motorcycle, itâs face a frozen expression of rage. The warrior brutally hacks, slices and crushes the robots, even after one of them slices itâs face clean off, only to reveal itâs true face. It is Samurai Jack, the legendary warrior who once stood firm in opposition of the all powerful being known as Aku. His ragged, bearded face is contorted in pure rage as he finishes his work, only to ride off into the sunset on his new motorcycle, not stopping to check on the family as he would have done in the past. It is then revealed in what is assumed to be the new introduction for the series that fifty years have passed for Samurai Jack, but, in spite of his new beard, he does not age. The tone of his voice and the visuals presented to the audience show that Jack is currently in a state of despair and hopelessness as he comes to see that Akuâs dreaded influence spreads throughout time. Jack is at a loss as to what he should do from this point forward.
What follows is two separate stores: Jackâs current state of mind and the rise of a cult who raises seven young girls to become assassins sent to kill Jack. The later starts with a disturbing scene that would have never made it into the original animation: the actual birth of the girls. Nothing explicit is shown, thankfully, but the visual of a pregnant woman screaming as seven infants are carried to an altar made in Akuâs image is still unnerving to say the least. Their future training is no better, as the black sheep of the group, Ashi, proves to be tenacious and murderous no thanks to her motherâs cruel teachings. Not much apart from their training is shown in this episode, apart from the brief character development given to Ashi as she grows up from a curious, fanciful child to a brutal killer ready to prove her worth by any means necessary. I look forward to seeing her and her sisters in future episodes.
Meanwhile, Jackâs tale has truly taken a turn for the disturbing. As I said before, the visuals in the introduction convey a feeling of despair emanating from the samurai. The next sequence of events shows just how deep Jackâs feelings run. As he seemingly wanders aimlessly on his metal steed, avoiding any sign of further danger, Jack suffers from hallucinations of his parents and the people from his own time who have all died under the tyranny of Aku. Whether through a literal river of corpses or a hellish vision seen through flames, their words are disturbing to the samurai, as they claim he has lost his purpose, forgetting about his kingdom and his people, simply letting them die. But the worst part is an enigmatic figure shrouded in darkness and tinted by a foul green, who rides on horseback while clad in his own, hellish armor. That is when Jack runs away, screaming his head off as if he has seen the very spectre of death, towards a pillar of smoke that has haunted him just has much as his demented visions.
As Jack heads towards the smoke, he discovers a village that has been completely decimated by a single culprit, who has been waiting for the samurai ever since. That culprit is a robotic braggart called Scaramouche, an assassin sent by Aku to find Jack. The robot mocks Jack for his almost comical scowl and lack of magical sword which was apparently lost in a previous battle we have not seen in previous seasons. Jack is having none of it, however, as he eventually strikes at his foes in quick successions, showing that he still has some fight left in him. Scaramouche is thrilled, playing his âmagicâ flute which manipulates the surrounding rubble into forming warriors and weapons. When the flute is eventually destroyed, he starts to sing scat music which allows him to manipulate his sword through the music alone, all while brandishing a dagger/tuning fork that can destroy any opposing object by tuning itself to the objectâs natural vibrations and increasing them to the point of destruction. Fortunately, Jack takes advantage of the daggerâs properties by essentially turning his own weapon into a grenade, gaining the upper-hand in the process, and finally ending the battle in a very brutal fashion. The episode then ends with this bittersweet victory and the seven fully grown and trained assassins charging out of their lair into the world with one mission: kill the samurai.
All in all, this episode was quite a rush as we watch Jack dealing with his personal demons and the assassins being raised to eventually go toe to toe with the samurai of old. You feel bad for Jack as you see him fight his inner demons and grief, and you want him to overcome his future trials with not only Ashi and her assassin sisters, but also the other enemies Aku has no doubt sent out to find his stoic enemy. Speaking of whom, there is a sense of looming dread when it comes to the Master of Darkness, as he is rarely heard and never seen in this episode with the exception of the altar the assassins were born upon, which can only mean that this final season will be building up to a final battle with the shape-shifting demon, who Genndy Tartakvosky has seemingly found a decent replacement voice actor for in the absence of the late Mako Iwamatsu. All I can say for certain is that I look forward to seeing more from Samurai Jackâs final season, which will continue this upcoming Saturday on Cartoon Networkâs Adult Swim at 11 PM.
In the meantime, never stop rambling, TM
Samurai Jack, itâs characters and all associated imagery belong to Cartoon Network and Adult Swim and was created by Genndy Tartakvosky. Please support the official release of both the original seasons and the new one.
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So. I wanted to keep up a momentum of positivity up given current world circumstances, which means I figured it was time I expressed and explored my love for family tropes in stories, found or otherwise.
They say you can choose your friends, but you canât choose your family. On a genetic level thatâs indisputable, but what if apart from that, your friends are your family? I just love that stuff, personally. Actually, I love stories that examine and enrich family bonds in general, biological or not. And today, Iâd like to share a few (a fair few) of them with you, if for no other reason than to try and spread around some warm-fuzzies instead of other, nastier things.
If weâre talking a specific, earliest moment that I recall having a strong reaction to a family bond, Iâd have to say itâd be after reading what became my favorite installment in the Harry Potter series, Prisoner of Azkaban. I specifically remember thinking, âAw, Harry finally has an adult in his life he can see as family.â I mean, yes, the Weasleys were already there in his corner, but Sirius Black had a more personal connection to Harryâs parents that gave this sense of him being able to connect more with the family heâd lost with what little connection he had gained that was left. And yeah, include Lupin in that too, while weâre at it.
And that love for that trope has just grown more with time with the amount of media that Iâve consumed. Found families, blood families, families struggling, families coming together, I eat that up with a big hot fudge sundae spoon. For as long as I can remember, Iâve tailored 99% of my stories around these types of plot points, perhaps with more intensity after having lost my own parents. If only because my fulfillment from it always comes from wanting to see more stories that feature family and family bond themes. Moreover, the opportunity to experience them in fictional contexts offers differing perspectives on family and what family means to others. Which I also enjoy.
With the Fate series, for example, starting with Fate/Zero, the respective relationships of father-and-son in Kiritsugu and Shirou Emiya (which honestly gave me Harry Potter and Sirius Black vibes even though theirs is a relationship far different from whatâs here), and father-and-daughter in Kiritsugu and Illya (which I melt at for the sake of being a father-daughter relationship) was the initial thing that most had me immediately hooked, in addition to the concept of historic and legendary heroes from across time coming together in the modern era for a battle royale for the Holy Grail. With all of that though, and everything else great about Fate/Zero (which is, yeah, everything), you have a shoe-in for what still stands as my favorite anime. Although the family moments are minimal, not just in Zero but in its sequel Stay Night as well, the moments themselves are powerful enough to stand out and be effective in spite of that. More than that, but theyâre written so well, they transcend any tropiness they would have had in the hands of another creator. Zero in particular.
I think part of that comes from how much Fate and the Type-Moon universe seem to emphasize how broken the family relationships of mages and those related to the supernatural are, which in turn makes the ones that still manage to radiate love all the more precious. Especially in terms of Kiritsugu, his wife Irisviel, and their daughter Illya. Not wanting to repeat myself too much, Iâll distill it down to this: the fact that Kiritsuguâs relationships with them is tailor-made for tragedy might, on paper, seem almost contrived, but itâs Kiritsuguâs character, and Irisvielâs too, that highlight how dearly they love each other, throwing any contrivances about it out the window.
You can read more about it in my Type-Moon post. Suffice to say, I could talk about this stuff for hours, days even perhaps, and thatâs just about Kiritsuguâs family. Thereâre also the Tohsakas and the Matous who all have their varying degrees of screwed-uppedness that still manage to produce people who are loving and caring in their own ways, from child abandonment as a result of a skewed view of fatherhood to just straight-up abuse. Which unfortunately brings to light more twisted examples of my beloved father-daughter trope that really gets under my skin, not unlike a very cold example of this in V. A. Schwabbâs This Savage Song and the unfortunate fact that the main heroineâs father never grew to love his daughter despite his wifeâs reassurances that he would. Which is just sad without having to go into much further detail.
Same with Fullmetal Alchemist (2003)/ Fullmetal Alchmeist: Brotherhood. That franchise had the audacity to take my most beloved family trope, the father-daughter relationship, and mangle it (literally as well as figuratively now that I think about it) with the arc of State Alchemist Shou Tucker and his daughter, Nina. Desperate to keep his State Alchemist license, he uses his daughter Nina and their pet dog Alexander in an alchemic experient to create a talking chimera, by fusing the two of them together into one being, making for one of the most equally horrific and tragic scenes Iâve ever seen.
And yet again, these perversions of family are no less enjoyable than those of ones built far more genuinely and conventionally on love and care. Both are satisfying in their own way, to see not only places where love lives, but also places where we know love should live but doesnât, which makes us, the readers, or the audience, want all the more to scoop these characters up and give them the hugs they deserve.
Funimation
Funimation
Not to say that Fullmetal is all about broken families. In fact, itâs more about the functioning ones that still manage to get torn apart. First you have the main plotline of the Elric brothers, Edward and Alphonse (Ed and Al). They committed the taboo of âhuman transmutationâ in their attempt to resurrect their mother from the dead. For committing this taboo, they pay a heavy price: Ed, literally an arm and a leg, and Al, his entire body, leaving his soul to remain tethered in the living world by nothing more than a blood seal on a suit of armor. The brothers struggle with their efforts to set things right, and along with what happens to Nina, encounter their estranged father, though in the 2003 version the character arcs that form in those vary to those in the Brotherhood reboot.
In both versions though, their meeting Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes and his family, his wife Gracia and daughter Elecia, plays out the exact same tragic way, resulting in one of the worst sucker-punches of a death, and anyone whoâs seen the show(s) knows what I mean. Thereâs even something of a family (if a dysfunctional one) in that of the homunculi (villainous ones in this case, unlike the homunculi in the Fate series). They might be named for the Seven Deadly Sins, but in their respective incarnations between the 2003 version and the reboot version, they develop in various ways, due in no small part to their relationships with each other. And part of what makes a family, in my experience, is nurturing the character of those with whom you are close with your own relationship to them. Hence why blood ties arenât all that make a family, and why the concept of found families rock.
An anime I just finished recently, March Comes In Like a Lion, a pretty chill show, but still very emotionally engaging, (and chill is a high priority on what Iâm looking for right now, which shouldnât be surprisingâsave of course for my catching up on Season 3 of Castlevania), involves a young boy, Rei Kiriyama, roped into the fate of becoming a shogi prodigy when he loses his parents and little sister and is taken in by a shogi family as a foster son. The father was a friend of his fatherâs, but unlike his father, pursued the profession of playing shogi seriously, and unfortunately he was one of those fathers who meted out his affection to his children based on how good they got at the thing he was good at.
Which brings out the dark side of the found family, when Rei proves to be far more talented than either the daughter or the son of that family. He begins to see himself as âin the wayâ, as the daughter in particular takes her anger with her father out on him, sometimes in violent ways. This is further complicated by the fact that in his early formative years he appeared to have developed a crush on her despite the way she treated him, and continues to treat him throughout the majority of the anime.
Thankfully, where the story starts is with Rei, now in high school and now living on his own as a pro shogi player prodigy, and the relationship heâs developed with a family of threes sisters who just recently lost their mother. With them, he finds all the wonderful things a family can be, certainly the standard to which all found families should measure up to. He finds love and warmth that heâd not only been starving for, but had taught himself not to even hope to expect in his life going forward. An affirmation of where love can be found, not always with blood, and not always with where you thought youâd find it, which will never fail to be an incredibly moving thing to me.
The struggles of a young pro shogi player interlaced with the interpersonal struggles of the characters both inside and outside of the world of shogi, was incredibly satisfying on the emotional palate. I loved it, and it was definitely getting me through this difficult time at present, along with how much keeping in touch (without touching) my own family and friends has been. Itâs one of those shows that shares both such dark struggle and passionate triumph and hope, and Iâm glad that I chose now of all times to get around to watching it (though initially I chose it because it was the month of March, and itâs called March Comes In Like a Lion so ha ha). Regardless, while I canât speak for the manga as I havenât read that, I recommend the anime to anyone whoâs interested, and whoâs anxious right now and needs something to binge in this time of self-isolation and still get the warm-fuzzies.
Incidentally, Rei is among a small group of fictional characters, all of who have hit particularly close to home with me. Heâs almost a boy version of me: his introversion, his experiences with depression (some of the thoughts he had circling in his head while struggling with that were, a lot of times, verbatim the same as the ones Iâve had, which gave me chills if nothing else), the fact that he had to learn how to âsurviveâ school not because school itself was hard, but just because of the ostracizing social structure, that he lost his blood family and went to live with another, that he wraps himself up in something to cut off the pain that everything else causes him (with him itâs shogi, with me itâs writing)âthese things all resonated with my own experiences of losing and regaining family. So much so that at this point, Iâve set aside an idea for doing a separate post on his character. You know, when I get to a few more of the hundreds of other post drafts I have on the backburner.
The shounen anime Kimestu No Yaiba takes the traditional shounen trope of âmain character loses whole family to tragedy and that sets him on the heroâs journey he probably wouldnât have taken otherwiseâ, and creates what Iâd consider the most emotionally engaging shounen Iâve ever watched (and this coming from the same young lady who got herself hooked on Fairy Tail after putting it off for months and months because she told herself sheâd never fall into the âshounen trapâ). Not only is it done by the godly studio ufotable who put Fate on the map with Fate/Zero, scored by one of my most favorite composers, Yuki Kajiura, but it also features one of the most emotionally engaging shounen fights I have ever seen, and that primarily comes from its focus on the family bond between the main protagonist, Tanjiro Kamado, and his sister-turned-demon, Nezuko, and how searching in the memories of his father, he rediscovers a technique to use that helps him survive a fight that would have otherwise killed him and his sister both.
Fruits Basket (both the original anime adaptation from 2001, and the the reboot coming out now) takes the concept of a family curse and examines how that affects certain of its members, and the ripple effect that comes from one outsiderâa young girl grieving the death of her motherâdeciding to befriend him through that anime âquirk of fateâ. The curse itself being certain members of the family turning into animals of the Chinese zodiac when under stress orâŠhugged by a member of the opposite sex. Classic. And at first, yeah, is it a bit silly, but then you see how itâs affected those members of the family born with the Zodiac spirits of this curse. Like how one of them has to pretend that he isnât his motherâs son, because his mother was horrified by the fact that the first time she held her child, he turned into a rabbit, and so, to ease her suffering, she had her memories of her having giving birth to him erased. Which gives credence to the idea that any idea can work, as long itâs executed well. Whether an idea unique will mean nothing if the idea itself is executed poorly.
And the criminally underrated anime film, Maquia: When the Promised Flower Blooms, tells a fantasy story of a young woman who follows the emotional arc of discovering what it means to be a mother. Maquia, one of a race of immortal people called the Iorph, is separated from the rest of her kind after a mortal human kingdom attacks them for their power. Alone upon her escape from capture, she comes across a mortal human family whoâre all dead, save for their newborn baby boy, and she takes it upon herself to raise the boy as his mother. Along the way she learns what it means to be a mother, the pain that comes with watching a loved one grow old and die and leaving you behind. To say that I felt things in that story would be grave understatement. And it comes from a place of genuine familial emotion: the filmâs director and writer, Mari Okada, drew from her own relationship to her own mother.
Even in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the idea of the found family and the idea of family in general isnât lost on its writers, particularly in regards to Guardians of the Galaxy, which touches not only families, but family abuse. Never mind that it involves people from alien worlds, cyborg assassins, and the like, it still manages to have a very human resonance. And of particular note is a part of Natasha Romanovâs character arc, and how much she had come to view the Avengers as a family, while at the same time trying to repay the debt of all the lives sheâd taken by saving lives instead. Which results in interactions like the very touching sort of brother-sister banter between her and Steve Rogers (thatâs right, a male-female pair I donât actually ship).
In the world of books, The Girl at Midnight, and Daughter of Smoke and Bone both involve found family subplots and explore those in their own creative ways.
We have Echo in The Girl at Midnight, raised by a group of bird-ish people called Avicen, and she gets to live in the attic of a library (lucky), and play a little with the magic she otherwise wouldnât have gotten to if she hadnât ended up adopted into her situation. Iâm nearly finished with the sequel, The Shadow Hour, and we did get a glimpse of the life she had before: sheâd run away from her birth mother, who was an abusive drunk to her daughter, which hurts on the very fundamental fact that we are born in the world with the idea hardwired in there somewhere that our mothers are supposed to love us unconditionally, and certainly never hurt us. It hurt me in my own way too, as my father was an alcoholic, and while he wasnât perfect, he wasnât abusive either, just more of a lost soul, I suppose, which can carry its own problems trying to function as a parent.
While I wasnât too keen on the vision Echo has of her past characterizing her mother as the sort of abusive drunk youâd findâŠehâŠlike, in an amateur play, it could be argued that the idea was that the vision was based on her memory of her mother, and thus her perception of her at the time. Which was yeah, a mother who spouted nothing but verbal abuse at her daughter and hit her, and for seemingly no reason. And later on, when she discusses it with one of her close friends, not only does her friend tell her that itâs not from whom we are born that defines us, but also that even if her mother had her complicated reasons for why she was the way she was as a parent, the simple fact thatâs irrelevant, and thereâs never a âgoodâ or âjustifiableâ reason to hurt a child. That itâs oneâs own makes it all the more saddening.
For Daughter of Smoke and Bone, we have another eccentric waif in Karou, raised by a family of people called âchimaeraâ (not like the ones from Fullmetal Alchemist, these are a mishmash of different animal parts, sometimes human parts too). It too involves a complicated sort of father-daughter relationship that unfortunately seems to have ended in tragedy (Iâve only finished book one), as the slowburn story meticulously reveals that our heroine is being hidden to keep her safe from a threat that stems from a grand, epic, interdimensional war between chimaeras and angels. Last I saw, it looked like the father figure was probably dead, and unfortunately he and Karou hadnât parted the last time they saw each other on theâŠbest of terms, to put it mildly. Like with Kiritsugu Emiyaâs estrangement from his daughter Illya in Fate, this one too hurts in that same, âwhat could have been, but never will beâ way.
Then youâve got a graphic novels like Saga, written by Brian K. Vaughn and illustrated by Fiona Staples (published by Image Comics), which, again, I was drawn to merely on the premise of it being about a male and female of two different alien races on opposing sides going AWOL together and ending up having a baby daughter along the way. I havenât got too much into graphic novels aside from this and Monstress (also published by Image Comics), written by Marjorie Liu and illustrated by Sana Takeda (which deals with dead mother and mother-daughter issues against a very dark fantasy setting), but from what Iâve read so far, that premise has delivered as far as emotionally anchoring me to the story is concerned. Couple forced to flee for their lives + newborn introduced to the situation = my interest.
And thatâs basically what it boils down to, beyond merely itâs emotional fulfillment for me. Apart from the family and friends I have found in my own life, itâs one other way I can regain something of what I lost in the passing of my parents. Even more than that, itâs a way for me to process it, after initially refusing to process it at all, especially when it comes to my own writing. In some ways, the novel Iâm currently working on, the crux of which involves a father-daughter relationship, is a wish fulfillment of my own for the difficult months I spent with my father, between when my mother died and then when he himself died. Which even here is something thatâs difficult for me talk about so straightforwardly, so the catharsis I get from writing about these things is far more valuable and useful to me. Even the deconstructional value of the dysfunctional versions of any parent-child relationship, not just father-daughter ones.
Exploring these themes both in writing and reading nurtures feelings and reinforces how important those feelings are. Found families in particular can be a lense through which we can begin to view people who are not related to us by blood still as kin, if only for the fact that we all are human. Family themes engender hope, even in the case of dysfunctional families, and itâs moving to see families who work to earn each otherâs love as well as love unconditionally, depending on circumstances. Especially when death and danger threaten to tear those bonds apart, only for those bonds to emerge stronger than ever.
In times like these, donât forget those you care about the most, or even those who you know who donât receive as much care as they should, and reach out if you can (and thanks to the internet, reaching out remotely isnât out of the question). The simple act of looking out for someone else is one of the most beautiful things about being human in my opinion, more so that itâs not even an exclusively human thing, which serves to draw we humans closer to each other. Itâs a precious thing, and losing that would be a tragedy indeed in the long run. So as I press onward with this thing called living from day to day, Iâll keep seeking new family dynamics that inspire me with joy, with sorrow, and with hope. Particularly the hope that Iâm not the only one who finds value in seeking these out in stories far and wide, and learning from them, and taking them sincerely to heart.
Now, if youâll excuse me, I need to make sure Iâm keeping up with the currently running Kakushigoto, incidentally an anime about a father who draws adult manga and tries to keep the nature of his profession a secret from his young daughter. Hijinks and heartwarmingness Iâm sure are in store. In the meantime, also enjoy this very emotional Fullmetal Alchemist AMV, as well as a revisit to the âShelterâ music video by Porter Robinson. Because fathers and daughters.
 Family Bonds So. I wanted to keep up a momentum of positivity up given current world circumstances, which means I figured it was time I expressed and explored my love for family tropes in stories, found or otherwise.
#3-gatsu no lion#abuse#amaama to inazuma#anime#aniplex#aniplex of america#aoi tohsaka#black widow#bloomsbury#brian k. vaughn#captain america#castlevania#coronavirus#daughter of smoke and bone#death#demon slayer#ember#emiya kiritsugu#emiya shirou#family#family bonds#fate series#fate stay night#fate zero#father and daughter#father and son#fiona staples#fruits basket#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood
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This is a tag I always see making its rounds on YouTube and in the blogsphere, and while I donât do many tags anymore (that arenât related to music, you can pry the Playlist Book Tag from my cold, dead hands)Â I saw a few really great takes on the tag and looked at the questions and figured this is one for me!
A little about my reading history:
Since April of 2018, Iâve found myself enjoying reading more than I have since around 2013 when I first joined the book community. Itâs become a lot more personal and just reading on a whim, not hesitating to DNF and leave things half-read until Iâm interested in the book again. My memories of what I read is a lot stronger, even though Iâm reading more.
At this point in the year Iâve read 170 things, mostly manga and comics, which Iâm honestly really happy about as they make me happiest as I read them. That also means I have a lot to choose from in my answers.
Without further ado: the questions!
1) BEST BOOK YOUâVE READ SO FAR IN 2019?
Okay, so a lot of my top books happen to be horror, and I promise you thatâs purely accidental.
The Elementals by Michael McDowell: 80âs horror where two families journey to their Summer houses after the death of one of the matriarchs and find themselves at the hands of not just the elements, but forces that reside in the land.
The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell: A gothic told across three different points of view centred around a widow who travels to her late husbands estate and is tormented by strange wood carvings who seemingly move by themselves.
Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl: A year after the death of her boyfriend, a teenager journeys out to visit her estranged friends, only for them to end up stuck in a time loop repeating the same day until they can come to a unanimous decision on which one of them deserves to live.
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson: Horror classic where four people travel to Hill House and experience strange hauntings that begin to send them mad. Also highly recommend the Netflix show!
Teen Dog by Jake Lawrence: The coming-of-age graphic novel with anthropomorphic animals you never knew you needed. Full of innocent existentialism and themes of growing up!
2) BEST SEQUEL YOUâVE READ SO FAR IN 2019?
They arenât sequels, but these are my favourite volumes in longer series! It counts! They are all follow ups to previous volumes!
Fullmetal Alchemist Volume 9 by Hiromu Arakawa: If there was a Connie has to go more than 5 posts without mentioning FMA challenge, I would lose. Literally the best possible conclusion to this series, it broke my heart.
Haikyuu!! Volume 2 by Haruichi Furudate: My review for this on Goodreads was literally just âOikawa AND Nishinoya?! In one volume?! Iâm having a crisis!â which sums up me reading this whole series.
My Hero Academia: Vigilantes Volume 3 by Hideyuku Furuhashi: Volume 2 of this series was an absolute goddamn mess but this volume? Wow. My review if you want to read me lose my mind. Some spoilers for extra content and some characters, but itâs not really overly spoiling plot points.
No.6 Volume 5Â by Atsuko Asano: I have gone on so many spiels to my best friend about how amazing this series is. It honestly deserves recognition for being a very thought provoking and character driven dystopian, the character development is truly a work of art and I wish I could write a world and dynamics as well as Atsuko Asano does.
3) NEW RELEASE YOU HAVENâT READ YET, BUT WANT TO?
I canât really give much information on these seeing as I havenât read them, so sorry everyone!
Teen Titans: Raven by Kami Garcia: I confess, I am getting this because of Gabrielâs artwork. Iâve been a huge fan for a while now, so it just felt right to have this in my collection, especially considering I want to learn more about the Titans.
Rayne & Delilahâs Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zentner: Very mixed reviews on this one, but oh well!
The Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman: Everyone and their mother is talking about this book, honestly.
The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling: Itâs like a space survival story but with these weird zombie creatures? Iâll be going for the audiobook with this one.
4) MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE YEAR?
I made a whole post about this that I worked very hard on so please check it out, but I guess Iâll include the only three Iâve been able to pre-order.
Tunnel of Bones by Victoria Schwab: This is the sequel to City of Ghosts, a middle-grade horror story I really love, and Iâm looking forward to this one even more as itâs set in the catacombs of Paris!
Who Put This Song On? by Morgan Parker: Several people have described this as having some of the best mental health rep in young adult fiction, so Iâll be reading this for my dissertation that Iâm starting in January.
The Infinite Noise by Lauren Shippen: I reallllly love the podcast this is based on (The Bright Sessions, also created by Lauren) and Adam and Caleb are my absolute favourites, so this book is my JAM.
5) BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT?
BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF THESE. one of the cons of reading so much is that I end up being disappointed by significantly more books than others do, which sucks, but I honestly donât find myself hating the reading experience. Even if i hate the book, for me, tearing it apart can become fun!
Slam Volume 1Â by Pamela Ribon: I love roller derby, but the characters and the lack of narrative in this volume really didnât do it for me. Maybe if more time was spent making sense of plot at the start Iâd have enjoyed it, but there were so many time jumps I stopped caring.
It Only Happens in the Movies by Holly Bourne: One day UKYA readers are gonna have to sit down and properly talk about how the first maybe 5 years of the decade were spent crowning titles and writers as the leads of UKYA despite the fact that their books arenât really good. They contain thinly-veiled misogyny, really bad writing that uses chat speak in-text as if itâs normal, stereotyping of characters (they really love the bitchy mean girl trope) and what the kids would call racism that doesnât explicitly state itâs racism, like, say, dropping slurs or having outwardly racist beliefs, but when a character says someone âmight be Asian or Jewishâ and then laughs about it and never addresses it again, you kind of guess itâs some kind of internalised racism nobody feels comfortable addressing.
Trouble by Non Pratt: SEE ABOVE, only this one has the most terribly written step-incest subplot that never properly gets resolved or treated with the disgust it deserves!
The Hating Game by Sally Thorne: Weird possessive vibes, references to stalking, and shitty love triangles. This received the best rating of the bunch (3), but the general disappointment I feel is at the continued inclusion of uncomfortably possessive male love interests dehumanizing and treating women like they are better seen not heard in romance fiction. Tessa Dare doesnât treat me like this!
The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham: This one is less hate, more just disappointment. I was so bored reading this, honestly, it feels unbearably long, and the romance is so unneeded and dull.
 6) BIGGEST SURPRISE?
The Unsound by Cullen Bunn: Iâve learnt that my opinion on generally negatively rated comics and graphic novels is going to completely differ. This is very surreal, with a lot of graphic self harm and violence, and will definitely not be for everyone, but I very much enjoy it!
Sweet Blue Flowers Volume 1 by Takako Shimura: I literally heard about this, ordered the first volume day-of, and then read it as soon as it arrived and loved it. Itâs predominantly a slice-of-life/romance following sapphic teenage girls!
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan: Everytime I think of this I feel soft. For a fantasy this is very easy to read, with snappy dialogue and a lot of wit from our main character. What surprised me most, however, was how deep and introspective it got exposing the fears of our main character, something not enough portal fantasies spend time doing, and Iâm really grateful to have read this book!
A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay: Can you really be surprised if you go into a book with no expectations? I knew vague details about plot, and a brief allusion to a dollhouse in a review I happened to scroll past, and I ended up loving this.
Lazaretto by Clay McLeod Chapman: This is an absolutely horrifying comic about a flesh eating virus that breaks out during the first few weeks of college and sends the campus into complete lockdown. Itâs honestly tragic, and does not have a happy ending, but I love it? I usually hate endings that are bad for our main characters, but everything about this just really wrapped me in a blanket- horrified me, sure, yet it was weirdly comforting.
The Past and Other Things that Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson: Again, I saw one person praise this book and listened to the audiobook immediately after and really enjoyed it. Itâs very moving with some main characters that will test your patience but youâll end up loving.
7) FAVOURITE NEW AUTHOR?
Paul Tremblay and Michael McDowell!
8) NEWEST FICTIONAL CRUSH?
Kirie in Uzumaki by Junji Ito! Makoto in My Hero Academia: Vigilantes! Charlotte Holmes in A Study in Charlotte! Iâm noticing these are all women, which is kind of on brand for me.
9) NEWEST FAVOURITE CHARACTER?
Seeing as all my crushes are on women, Iâll try and pick some other favourites here! Iâve really fallen in love with Tensei Iida in My Hero Academia and eternally love Thirteen, Teen Dog in Teen Dog, Shion in No.6 (the character development!!!!), and basically the whole cast of The Avant-Guards by Carly Usdin! Tom in the Memoirs of Lady Trent series has really grown on me after book one, too.
10) BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY?
BOY. I cry a lot. I cried reading Winnie the Pooh, which I finally picked up all the stories of earlier this year; Neverworld Wake; the Save Me Webtoon, a great webcomic based off of the BTS music video continuity; I Want To Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino, which beat me over the head with a frying pan while I was distracted. Sheets by Brenna Thummler didnât make me cry but it did make me incredibly sad.
11) BOOK THAT MADE YOU HAPPY?
A lot of what I read makes me happy! Thereâs Super Fun Sexy Times by Meredith McClaren, a small collection of 5 stories based on the sex lives of different superheroes/villains/etc.; My Love Story by Kazune Kawahara which makes me eternally happy and soft every time I pick up a volume; In Other Lands, which, while sad at times, is also very funny and has my exact brand of humour; and thereâs the Haikyuu!! manga series, which I love and adore and all the characters are hilarious, even while being serious.
12) FAVOURITE BOOK TO MOVIE ADAPTATION?
I havenât really seen any? Does Boys Over Flowers count if I havenât read the manga OR finished the show yet? Either way, Boys Over Flowers is great and so melodramatic. If you push through the drama and very strange and problematic behaviour, itâs honestly got a cute romance between two tsundere people and enough stupid hair to giggle at.
13) FAVOURITE REVIEW YOUâVE WRITTEN?
LOOOADS! Iâm very proud of my reviews this year, and it seems like a lot of them are horror!
my review of haunting of hill house by shirley jackson
my review of a head full of ghosts by paul tremblay
my review of the elementals by michael mcdowell
my review of meddling kids, where i discussed harmful stereotypes and tropes within horror fiction
three horror reviews: this is not a test, the silent companions, uzumaki
my review of poetry book shame is an ocean i swim across, where i discuss body image issues
14) MOST BEAUTIFUL BOOK YOU BOUGHT THIS YEAR?
 Other Words For Smoke by Sarah Maria Griffin! Itâs really pretty and has beautiful pink sprayed edges, and I absolutely love the owl in the background. I think the mix of pink and gold on the cover is so striking, too, it really is a book that stands out.
   15) WHAT BOOKS DO YOU NEED TO READ BY 2020?
I actually have a Summer 2019 TBRÂ if you want loads of information on everything I plan on reading.
However, other than all the books I kind of have to read for my first semester back at University, I really want to read Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz and When the Truth Unravels by RuthAnne Snow.
What would you pick for these questions? Please let me know in the comments if you made a post of this tag, Iâd love to read them!
Thank you for reading!
If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi.Â
I also currently have a GoFundMe set up to help fund my third year of University, so any stray pound helps â€
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Mid-Year Book Freak Out Tag! This is a tag I always see making its rounds on YouTube and in the blogsphere, and while I don't do many tags anymore (
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[Afterthoughts] Boruto, Episode 2: âThe Hokage's Son!â
I watched the first episode of this series 3 times: once to view it, once to review it for tumblr, and again because I didnât satisfied with my own first impressions.
I donât hate Boruto.
I hate the fact that Naruto, a character Iâve truly grown to love, is not a great dad (for a lot of very good reasons) and Boruto is evidence of that. Â
Upon rewatching the first few episodes of the original Naruto series I suddenly remembered why Iâd planned to drop the series within 11 minutes of watching:Â Naruto was annoying. Â He grew on me very quickly, but wow - even I can admit he had a lot going on in those early days.
Itâs only natural that his kid would also have some bratty tendencies. Â In fact, after watching the first episode a few times, I decided that Boruto is actually quite mature and socially adept compared with his near-feral father at a similar age. Â
(Iâm not totally sure how old Boruto is here. Â In the movie he looks smaller and younger, but that may be because heâs often drawn from the point of view of the adults)
With that out of the way-
The Actual Review
Iâm genuinely enjoying this now. Â I was put off by Borutoâs attitude and the fact that many of his peers are just blatant Konoha 12/11/10 clones, but in viewing with an open mind, I can see the differences and appreciate the efforts to satisfy nostalgia for the Naruto fans but also bring in a newer, younger audience.
It is unclear whether these first episodes are canon or not - they donât appear in the manga, but they certainly have been critical for character and relationship development.  The characters of Denki and Iwabe Yuino donât show up in the ending credits (but someone who we havenât met, like Metal Lee, is featured) so Iâm guessing they are filler characters.
In this episode, Boruto attempts to make friends during his first day of classes (with Shino as his home room teacher) at the now-reformed Ninja Academy.  The students there now must complete actual academic classes in order to graduate instead of just learning how to kill people at an alarmingly young age.  It looks like the kids of the Konoha 10 have been home trained well, as some of them have already shown their powers, and Boruto, in particular, can already create shadow clones, and use shuriken and kunai with proficiency that would have probably been Chunin level years ago when most kids in the village were being brought up to be ninja.
With the change in curriculum comes the change in graduation policies- meaning that thereâs a guy in Borutoâs class with facial hair named Iwabe Yuino, and heâs got a bit of a chip on his should when it comes to the Hokageâs son.  In fact, most of his classmates shun him, with some notable exceptions like Shikadai, who is taking on the wingman role in this anime very well.  Honestly the kids have a point though: if Boruto and Denki (the kid with the terrifying chakra from Episode 1) werenât the Hokageâs son and the son of the richest guy in town, yes, theyâd likely be in jail for derailing a train with kids inside and then crashing the car into the side of a mountain. Â
Iwabe challenges Boruto to a fight, and if Iâm not mistaken, it all goes down in the place where the prelims for the one on one Chunin Exams battles took place during the original Naruto series. Â The fight was good; it was nice to actually see some taijutsu, and watch people get excited about a wood substitution again and overall it was great to not see god-like moves pulled out at every turn. Â
In the end, Boruto is still very much like his father in many ways, and he uses some talk-no-jutsu to change the heart and mind of his foe while also winning over his classmates.Â
 It is interesting to note how different he is from his father at this age though - Boruto grew up in a happy and loving home without a murderous tailed beast within him, so heâs a confident and relatively well-adjusted kid who hasnât seen death or destruction or experienced any of the very deep feelings of being alone, an outcast, or a danger to anyone.  He speaks at a normal volume and not every sentence is a proclamation about his greatness.  In fact, like Sasuke, Boruto doesnât bother to mention how good he is - he just shows it.Â
Asides: Â
Borutoâs hair design is ridiculous.Â
I am extremely worried about what will have to happen to create real conflict and strife in Borutoâs life by the time we get back to the opening scene of episode one. Â He looks like a teenager there, so Iâm imagining whatever happens will happen fairly quickly, maybe during this arc or the next, and Boruto will go on his Sasuke-esque journey.
I love that Inojin has Inoâs catty forwardness with Saiâs unsettling honesty, and he has the good heart of them both. Â Aw.
I think this is the first time Iâve ever actually heard the word chakra explained in the Naruto universe.
I hope we see more of Saratobi-sensai (Konohamaru) soon!
The class rep girl who is clearly a filler character has a Hinata-esque crush on Boruto. Â Itâs... something.
Next week: Â We meet Metal Lee! Â Hopefully, weâll find out if he has a mom, or if Rock Lee just reproduces by budding. Â It also seems like he may be able to use ninjutsu? Â Thatâd be incredible if he had Rock Lee/Gaiâs strength and motivation along with the ability to actually use his chakra.Â
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