#i have only had one mag. 6 this month and it was followed by a -2 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

madeofcc · 1 year ago

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2023 Top ♥

Tagged by @someone-elsa and @shesthespinstersimmer ♥ Thanks a lot !

I didn't remember doing all that this year !

Thanks a lot to everyone who's been following me through this journey. 2023 was one of the worst year of my life but also one of the best weirdly so let's hope 2024 will be better for everyone ♥

below the cut I'll put the link and explanations for each edit

1/ The Moonlight/Moonwood Tales concept : Based on the lore that came with the werewolves pack, I imagined a story that would explain everything between the werewolves, vampires and spellcasters. I actually prepared a plan for season 1 ... Maybe I'll post it next year ?

2/ The stories I planned for this year but so far, only Melodia is still going. DH3 will start next year sadly and Another Side has been cancelled because of lack of time and a bad computer.

3/ Aïssa in the city : a special photoshoot/lookbook with some items I love and also a small interview including infos about DH2 and 3. It's also a way for me to show more about Aïssa's modeling life. The title is also a reference to the upcoming spin-off about her ...

4/ The DH3 women and the DH3 gang because I want you to love them when the story will start !

5/ The EDGEWAVE fest organised by @aniraklova ♥ It surely was my favourite event this year ! What an awesome idea it was and a lot of people did amazing stuff during 2 weeks ! You saved our summer for sure ! I used Candy Bher as a reference to Another Side and MOON who's a character in DH3 ...

6/ Toxic Don ! A potential new Another Side story I've been thinking about years now ... It would be fun !

7/ The Ghostface DH3 edits : It's a reference to DH3 and Scream of course; the plot will be a tribute to Wes Craven actually !

8/ The Melodia musical video part : it actually was awesome and fun to create but it took me an entire month just for this little video. I decided to stick to a more boring regular way to post this story. I also don't have a lot of readers so far so I guess they will forgive me. I still see it as one of my biggest achievement here though so check it if you can ^^ I love how the episode turns into a musical movie

9/ @windbrook's Slashed Challenge : it was one of my favourite CAS challenge of all time ^^ I'm a huge slasher fan ! It was perfect for simblreen and people created awesome characters and stories !

10/ A makeover of the Three Sages that comes with Realm of Magic : Ana Mae is actually an original OCs, they all should appear in DH4 and 5 ... Morgyn should be very important in DH4 actually ...

11/ URBZ Mag DH3 edition ! Get the girls part here and the boys part there ♥ I love doing fake interviews and mag covers ! Sorry not sorry

12/ Valentines day ♥ My favourite is the one with the Destiny, Leïla and Aïssa because it's funny and feminist, what this trio is together ! They surely had a great night that day, it's also supposed to happen after Melodia so ...

13 / Franck and Madame Sophie : the first drag sims I create ! I wanted one for the Aïssa spin-off so I guess it will be them :)

14/ Recent edits I like : Maria Perron for @birdietrait's coven (I love her and I'd love to make a little story about her) / An other Another Side new idea focused on Venessa Jeong / Destiny's last portrait for the ocs associations

15/ My favourite gif coming from Another Side Episode 1 : I think it's the best ending for this episode as it shows all the plots and times together. Everytime I see it I want to get back to the story ...

Tagging @trippisimmies @badwoohoo @bobnewbie @uwutrait @frzr-bunny @windbrook @eslanes @budgie2budgie @nefarrilou @kashisun @birdietrait @castawavy @agena87 @fangs-trait @peonypyxels @barbieaiden @void-imp @ladybugsimblr @xldkx @nilonne @bakersimmer @whyhellosims @mangosimoothie @djservo @sea-cross @surely-sims @hufflepuff-sim @aniraklova @therichantsim @wolfavens @cinamun @alelelesimz @moontaart @pralinesims @cyberth0t @squea @helloavocadooo @cross-design @rebouks @crazy-lazy-elder-sims and anyone else who'd like to join ♥ feel free to tag me or ignore this as well ^^ (Also, check out these blogs, they're all great !)

#2023 top #2023 highlights #2023 edits #my stuff in 2023 #what a crazy year #personnaly so many things happened #not to mention globally !

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arkturusz · 8 months ago

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@cult-of-the-eye here it is, hope you like it :3

MAG[REDACTED] - Blood in the Machine

Anonymous statement, regarding the statement maker's purchase and use of a strange desktop computer. Original statement given 4th of February 2024, recording by Arcturus Walker, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, Budapest. Put to tape on the 21st of March 2024. Statement begins:

I don't want to go into details as to why I came to make this decision. It was an offer too good to be true, just what a struggling university student needed: a cheap PC with great specs and with only 2 years of usage. I know how some sellers put enticing prices on Facebook Marketplace just to drop the real deal in later messages, but that wasn't the case. The owner got his hands on "something better" and saw no use in keeping this one around so he asked for the bare minimum that would still be a deal to him.

I went to pick up the desktop, it was a city away so I drove there. It was a bit weird how creeping closer to the destination all we had were dirt roads. I live in the suburbs, I know not all city councils pay it enough attention, but these weren't those dusty solid roads. These were muddy, the tracks barely visible and overgrown with grass. No, not grass, something more- vibrant.

The roads branched off a few hundred meters from my destination, only one going in its general direction so I followed it. I reached a house, no buildings in its neighborhood, crop fields on one side, a small forest on the other, the kind that always seems way more moist than the weather would allow it and always has that smell of thick mud and insects. I could only *enjoy* that for a moment before I got hit with something else, something fleshier. It was a stench that burnt into my nostrils. I try not to judge a house by the smell, my parents were chainsmokers and I've always been more ashamed to bring friends home than it seemed they were bothered by the odor. Assuming I just met a butcher, or really just someone that keeps their own livestock I headed inside.

It felt like a hallucination, it really did. I stepped into a corridor, my lungs full of the dull yet powerful stench that covered everything. My brain felt foggy and with a headache that felt like pressure on my skull I continued inside. I was hoping to pick up the computer and get going right away, and I did my best to accomplish just that. I lifted the PC which was rather heavy and hurried back the way I came when something caught my attention. As I was putting my shoes on my brain alerted me of movement. From all around. The walls seemed to have this rhythmic pulse to them. If I wasn't at the doorstep I would've fainted, that's for sure, but I made it out to my car, telling myself it's the headache getting to me.

The drive back was nothing out of the ordinary, but that foul smell just wouldn't leave my nose. I parked, opened my boot and to no surprise the aroma oozed out of the case like a thick invisible fog, bringing back that numbing pressure that I felt earlier. I grabbed all the cleaning chemicals and similar that I could find lying around, giving it a thorough rub on the outside. I pride myself on my expertise in software, but the hardware always confused me and I never bothered to learn it. Thus I did not want to open it up, which proved to be a grave mistake.

For 6 months straight there seemed to have been no problem with the PC. It worked as intended, was just as fast as I expected and the smell was only noticeable if you got up close to sniff the case. Which I didn't. But two days ago I didn't need to either. I woke up to a strange smell. It wasn't as strong or numbing as the one I felt at the house but it certainly wasn't pleasant. We had maintenance that night, we were notified that from 10pm we should be expecting a blackout. I didn't mind, but it seemed that whatever was in my computer did not like it. I decided to give it another round of cleaning once I was done with my cup of coffee. I dressed up and went to pull out the cables on the back, but they were a lot harder to unplug than I remembered. I ripped out the one which was most limiting length-wise and I pulled the rest of the case out from under my desk. As I saw the back of the PC I had to stop myself from throwing up.

Now I'm not afraid of gore, I grew up in a generation (and the subcultures) that made it such a commonplace it's usually unamusing. On screen, at least. But I didn't expect to come face to face with a chunk of skin stretching across where my plugs should have been. The cable I ripped out laid on the floor, a dark red liquid dripping from it, staining my carpet. Same thing could be found on the back of the case. Turns out the cable wasn't just stuck, it was *integrated* into the fleshy mess that shouldn't have been there.

That's when I got a screwdriver and ripped the case open. It seemed like the only logical way to deal with whatever infested my computer and I didn't know what else I could do. The case came away like a sticker, the inside melted to a wall of human-like skin, peeling away it left a residue of perspiration on the plastic.

The flesh monster's skin seemed to have formed a block, covering its insides from all angles, pressing against the vents and pushing out through the outlets. The cord I ripped had left a nasty hole that started to scar up, but I wanted to see what I was up against and I *didn't let it*. I scraped away the scar tissue with the screwdriver and pushed it through the wound, detaching the vein that supplied my cable from the wall of skin. The case still hugging it from the outside cast a shadow that made it hard for me to see in, so I turned on my flashlight, stretching at the hole with my tool, trying to take a peek.

I saw veins running across the surface, the inside was humid and *warm*, at least warmer than room temperature but it wasn't the heat of a working human body. It was starting to cool. In the middle of the case I saw something heavy, a huge knot in the middle of the circulatory system which kept beating in a steady rhythm. It was slow, the pulse was invisible from the outside, yet it kept pushing blood through the opening, trying to close it up, but the scarring slowed down significantly from when I first ripped that cable out. It ran on electricity, it had to have been the case, the inside had a greenish tone from what I could make out, meaning that during the blackout it started rotting. The system that somehow ran like a normal computer for months started to decay, which reminded me of the smell my brain ignored from my initial shock that once again sat heavy in my lungs.

I did not reconnect it but I didn't know what to do with it either. Who would have I called? I scoured the internet to find your institute, and I left my PC to you. Past making this statement I wish not to associate myself with this case any longer.

Statement ends. First thing after reading this statement I went down to artifact storage to ask about this curio. Turns out whoever left it to us delivered it too late, the "heart" was not beating and the thing once stretched against the walls of it's case now sat collapsed and rotten in the organic section, making any other follow-up almost impossible. Looking for the flesh house also yielded no results, meaning I will put this case to rest as-is. What does keep me wondering are the intentions of the seller. Why would an avatar of the Flesh sell a piece of itself to an unsuspecting individual? There was no mention of the *flesh block* attempting to leave its case meaning there was no intention of spreading the system either. Maybe they didn't intend the buyer to possess it for so long, maybe they tried to alert us of their vicinity. But they failed. They left us with a cold trail. *sigh* Recording ends

This is episode one of my series I call MAGREDACTED, here are all the episodes out now:

The Vast The Stranger The Dark

New episodes will be posted over on @archivus !

#tma #tma fanart #MAGREDACTED #originals #tma fanepisode #the flesh #writing #jon sims

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aspiring-holistic-otaku · 1 year ago

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Season 2 Ramble#6 - Just Jump In! ver.2

This month’s episode is about Shueisha publishing company's JUMP magazine line. you can use the link above or check the link in my bio to listen on other platforms 🍻

first some bare bones Jump basics:

What is JUMP? - JUMP is a magazine line with hella content for hella demographics and for the record they're not all comics, shueisha is actually a pretty diverse publishing company

Today though, we'll only be looking at two of their products. the Weekly Shonen Jump(WSJ) magazine, in print since 1968 with a main target audience of young boys, shonen literally being japanese for young boy, as well as their SHONEN JUMP+ app, which first launched in 2014 and has a main target audience of older adolescent lads.. The original + app is in Japanese as far as I understand but they released a follow up in 2019 simply called MANGA+.. also even though they have "main" target audiences they both have works that try to appeal to wider demographics + things sometimes move between lines or even appear on both at the same time.

This month I purposefully read manga from different time periods which gave rise to one mini section and three main sections which i’ll describe as I get to them

NOW JUMPING RIGHT IN!

New Manga Read This Month

mini section

Was this axed? Why was this axed?:

top 1

Magu chan: god of destruction(Kei Kamiki, 2020, 78 chapters)

this story follows the main heroine ruru after she finds and accidently unseals the now weakened god of destruction mag MENUek. not the best art or really the deepest characters but it's a gag manga. actually didn't think I'd enjoy this at all but it's pretty funny, got a lot of genuine hearty laughs pretty much every chapter... (pretty decent run at 78 chapters but after I finished I couldn't believe it got axed, definitely would've liked more but ironically it probably got axed because of folks like me...)

honourable mentions:

hell warden higuma, ginka & gluna, neolation

Ok so "main" sections now, starting with

Way Way Back (1960s - 1980s):

top 1

Mazinger Z (Gou Nagai,1972, 33 chapters)[Devilman Crybaby]

The story here is our mc, KOUji KAbuto, has a genius grandad who built the most powerful robot ever, Mazinger Z, but he dies in a sudden devastating earthquake before he can teach him how to use it. The only thing he's able to tell him before he passes is that with the robot comes power and with that power comes a choice, to be a god that saves humanity or a devil that destroys the earth.

Right off the bat the art wasn’t anything great or even particularly good but with really old stuff, especially things aimed at children, I think simpler art styles are to be expected. I did really like the robot designs tho, nothing too slick or fancy but they had an old quaint vibe like awww look at what grandpa drew…

The characters weren’t much either, as I said stupid simple story, giant robots doing cool giant robot stuff, so most of what would be the story of most characters was already in their designs like you see the main character and know they're the main character because he has that cool spiky cyborg 009 hairstyle etc.

not much more to say, kinda funny, surprisingly bloody given my perception of the time period and what I thought their perception of media was, especially media intended for kids.. but yh,, the whole manga can be summed up with giant robots have always been pretty cool… grain of salt though for those who plan to check it out, yes I thought it an enjoyable read but it was really only my top 1 because I could pretty much only find two things to read from this time period as the older manga are almost impossible to find on the internet.

honourable mention:

Dr.Slump (Akira Toriyama , 1980, 236 chapters)

Wasn't That Just The Other Day? (1990s - 2010s):

top 1

Bakuman(Oh! Great, 2008, 176 chapters)

Actually not my first time trying this, started back in hs but stopped for reasons I can't recall, I only remember thinking it was excellent which makes it all the more confusing but in any case I started over from the jump and I'm really glad I did.

This is a manga about making manga. I'm telling you man these Japanese dudes will make a manga about anything. trust.. Anyways the story here follows two main characters Mashiro and Takagi, and starts with them about to enter highschool. Takagi is the smartest in school since day one, expected to excel in life, and Mashiro has nothing. no goals or ambitions. he's just trying to come to terms with the mundane normalcy of life and society's expectations of what that should looks like. one day Mashiro leaves a book at school and Takagi, who unbeknownst to anyone is an aspiring writer, finds it full of amazing art and begs him to team up and make manga… Will they make it? and what exactly does it take to make it anyways? what even is "it"? (find out next time on read the manga and see!!)

Two things initially pulled me all those years ago, one, was a morbid curiosity, like I just couldn't fathom a manga about making manga being good in an entertaining way. like yh it's probably mad educational and it was, but as much as you can learn from any media the main reason I'm reading manga is to be entertained. two, oh! great did death note and again I just couldn't fathom the jump from mystery thriller about police vs death gods to this but man did they pull it off in style

First thing first the art was phenomenal as those familiar with oh! great works would expect. and I have to be clear, when I say oh! great does great art I mean Takeshi Obata does great art. oh! great is a duo between him and Tsugumi Ooba who did an equally good job on the story. like he basically showed us how the proverbial sausage is made without making us disinterested in the sausage. It actually instilled such a deeper appreciation for the process that I feel like all manga I read after this will be that much more enriching. especially shonen as the different creators in story debate and create what they think the genre should look like.

Great cast of characters, funny, serious, rivals, people you hated, people you loved, great sub plots that had them all interacting in a nice dynamic way, like it didn't feel like the two mcs were the cause and effect of everything. Great pacing as well as we get to see their journey from just trying something in highschool to getting their foot in the door in later years and so on. didn't feel rushed or dragged, it was nice to see a lot of the little ups and downs of life instead of just a cycle between highlights and rock bottoms.

I have to give fair warning and say it's pretty text heavy. even for something that's not kick and punch cause most of the time they're plotting out some manga or something but Obata really does a great job here making good use of panels and even speech bubble placement so it never really feels crowded unless it's meant to illustrate something like an argument or so. it also helped that despite his usual pretty realistic art style, he allowed characters to be toony when needed to lighten the mood or heighten some expression in just the right way

Honestly it's still so crazy that they pulled it off and pulled it off so well. I think ultimately it was the humanity of it that really tied everything together,, like yh they're manga artist but they're human first, and it's their human experiences that in the end feed into the art.

Talked a lot on this one.. that's why it was top 1 ig.. as usual I don't think I can speak enough to why exactly it's so great but yh… definitely highly recommend even if only out of morbid curiosity like you're thinking,, no way a manga about making manga is good. it is.

honourable mentions:

level e (Yoshihiro Togashi, 1995, 16 chapters),

Cowa!(Akira Toriyama, 1997, 14 chapters)

Hoshin Engi (...lol not that honourable ig)

...also just want to squeeze in that I actually tried bobobobo and wow… my brain may never recover…

What's Up Today? (2010s - present)

top 1

Astra Lost in Space (Kenta Shinohara on story & art, 2016, 53 chapters)

9 kids are brought to a nearby planet for a routine unsupervised camping trip as part of their highschool graduation. The future is wild. As plot convenience would have it, something goes wrong and they end up stranded in space. A rough enough situation on its own, but to make matters worse, the group finds signs that what happened was no accident and that the perpetrator is still among them..

Honestly a simple setup and premise, literally Lost but in space… not that I've actually watched lost but yh. anyways for as simple as the plot is the entire story wrapped up in 53 chapters anyways and they honestly squeezed every drop out of it that they could. What really stood out to me was how balanced it all felt.

As in the premise of being intentionally stranded is by no means unique but I feel like a lot of the media I've consumed around that tend to lean into one aspect more than others, like it becomes mostly about the mystery trying to find "whodunnit", or the focus becomes the sense of adventure, exploring the unknown and all that oor,, how it goes more commonly, in my experience at least, is a portrayal of the harshness of survival in the physical or mental sense.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that btw, the premise of being lost is used in many genres and it's up to the author to decide how much they want to lean into any genre. for example drifting net cafe, suicide island and dragon head are some lost horror type beats I've read, enjoyed and would definitely recommend.

In any case as I was saying about Astra lost in space, cause that's what I should be talking about here… is I loved how balanced it all was. Yes they're stranded and have to survive but it's not so overbearing that we can't take in the adventure of the unknown and yes we're seeing all these cool sights and different hypothetical evolutionary paths in space but also let's all be aware that one of us is probably plotting a murder yk? what tied this all up were the characters themselves like they felt really natural, yh a lot was going on but they're still just kids and they were sent out for a camping trip in the first place so come hell or high water they were gonna have some amount of fun or die trying. not that everyone was always on the same page and they didn't have disagreements and drama and so on but their individual quirks and character traits converged and diverged masterfully for a beautiful dynamic between the cast amongst themselves, and between the cast and their environment.

great cast and direction as I said, pretty standard art, nothing too crazy but it did what it needed to do, I also liked the little 4 panel bonus comics they did every now and then as well, all in all a pretty great read with some pretty neat twists I won't even allude to for fear of spoilers, especially for how short it was but yh, astra lost in space top 1 new read this month…

honourable mentions:

Akane Banashi(Yuuki SUEnaga doing the story & Takamasa Moue on art, 2022, ongoing 71 chapters)

'Tis time for "torture" princess ( Robinson haruhara on story and hirakei on art, 2019, ongoing 196 chapters)

Sakamoto Days(Yuuto Suzuki , 2020, ongoing 128 chapters),

ok now we're heading into

Manga Read Before This Month

(here I'll give less detail cause I would have mentioned a few of these repeatedly before + I want more of the shine on newer stuff tbh)

mini section

Was this axed? Why was this axed?:

top 1

Psyren(Toshiaki lwashiro, 2007, 151 chapters)

people are going missing and a secret society called psyren seems to be responsible. won't go farther than that but will say it's held up as one of the best shonen works I've ever read since the first time I read it in like 9 or 10th grade. still in disbelief that it was canceled cause you can barely tell when you read it. it's only after I finished it and was looking into some things I realised.

honourable mentions:

ayashimon, phantom seer, black torch

main sections

way way back (1960s - 80s):

top 1

Dragon Ball(Akira Toriyama, 520 chapters,1984)

don't think I need to say much here but I mention the sandwich of technique in the episode.

honourable mentions:

JJBA part1-3, Saint Seiya, city hunter

wasn't that just the other day (1990s - 2010s)

top 1

Rookies(Morita Masanori, 1998, 233 chapters)

delinquent baseball, real heartwarming story, great art cast and pacing, masanori really takes the cake when it comes to the delinquent aesthetic but yh… was my #2 in s1 ramble 12 & #3 in s1 ramble 1

honourable mentions:

eyeshield 21, slam dunk, Yu yu hakusho

what's up today? (2010s - present)

chainsaw man (tatsuki fujimoto, 2018, 137 ongoing)

look at the title lol

honourable mentions

fire punch, Tokyo ghoul series, My hero academia

other folks to check out on twitter:

https://twitter.com/KushiKuritikaru?t=2Tn-79ub0XyUqWM3XgEFWA&s=09

https://twitter.com/manga_crash?t=FzKQrpvb_rFwxHIe13Sqbw&s=09

then as usual I do a little part 2 where I ramble a bit 😅

thanks for reading so far, hope there's something that caught your fancy 🍻🍻🍻

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songtwo · 2 years ago

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hi<33 srry if you’ve talked about it before but how did u get involved in music journalism or the music industry in general? what did u go to school for?

hiiiii i got my job as a music journalist by applying to this magazine/blog from my country that was looking for writers, designers & photographers. i had been following their Instagram page for a while bc i rly liked their content & so i saw the opportunity & went for it! honestly i was very lucky bc this was in august 2022 and i had 0 writing experience (one of my articles had already been published w this mag since february but at this point I didn't even know i found out abt that in October 😭) anyways yes i think they were just looking for people who were passionate about music and rly wanted to do this bc some questions were literally like what's ur favorite band recommend us an album etc.

so that was basically it. at first we'd just write articles/reviews etc but the mag has been growing & so now we have like deals w The concert promoter company here so they like give us tickets so we can cover events & since it's a small magazine there's only like 12 ppl all of us get some yk.

when i was an a&r last summer was pure luck bc someone from school did her internship at that record label so she posted abt the vacant and i contacted her boss and that was also it.

i think the best thing to do nowadays to get in the music industry is have an active Instagram account and follow Everyone. magazines, blogs, journalists, photographers, radio stations, venues, labels etc etc. focus especially on the independent ones. i started doing this about 6 months ago and honestly every few weeks or so they're posting they're hiring/taking internships and a lot of the time u dont require any experience.

also make sure to follow people involved in the music scene in Your country u cant model yourself after miranda sawyer if ur not a white english girl so this is also v v important

I'm studying international relations at the worst uni and it's honestly been soooo useless i hate it so much but it goes on to show how school doesn't always matter in the real world.

another important thing is u gotta put yourself out there if u wanna be a writer just write and submit it to digital magazines they're always accepting pitches and stuff or make ur own substack and it's the same for photographers or any kind of artist..... i think digital magazines r a really cool thing & v helpful to gather experience & build ur portfolio so don't be afraid!!!

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wyrmfedgrave · 10 months ago

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Pics:

1. Fred J. Jackson was an American author, playwright, screenwriter, novelist, director & producer for the pulps & stage & screen.

2 thru 6. Fred was a highly prolific author of short stories, serialized novels & movie scripts.

He used the great pen name of Victor Thorne.

Though he usually wrote for the pulp mags, many of his tales were adapted into film - but, by others...

Among his works are:

A. The musical "La La Lucille."

B. The novels "Hidden Princess" & "Anne Against the World."

C. The plays "Iron Woman", "Naughty Wife", "Stop Flirting" & "The Bishop Misbehaves!"

D. The screenplays "Man Hunt", "Wells Fargo", "Miracle on Main Street", "Dark Swan", "Stormy Weather" & "The Fatal Ring."

E. The short stories "High Speed", "Jack of Diamonds" & "The Morocco Box."

7 & 8. "La La Lucille" was one of Fred's best works. Here we have 1 page of the piano score for it & a look at it's stage production as well.

1913: Missives of War!

Bio - This year started out like the last few. With Lovecraft sleeping the days away. Waiting for night's release.

But, his life was about to change...

As a devoted reader, Howard had strong opinions about what he liked. And he wasn't shy about sharing his thoughts.

HPL was a regular commentator, of the early pulps, for 2 years now.

He probably didn't know that his most recent, long & venomous missive was about to stir up a letter 'war.'

One whose 'battles' would last for almost a year!

Lovecraft had become incensed of the amount of space that Argosy¹ had given over to Fred Jackson's "trivial, effeminate &... coarse" romances.

Howard followed this up with his criticism that Fred's characters had the "delicate passions & emotions proper (only) to negroes & anthropoid apes²!"

This led to, as (the writer) "Arthur³" best describes as, "a snail mail flame war" between 'allies' of both men!

For HPL, this meant an attack on himself - as the "Poet of Providence" & the old style language that he used.

Focusing on how Howard must be "in love with his dictionary!!"

Lovecraft responded by complaining about Fred's "erotic fiction⁴" (innocent by today's standards)!

And, how Howard preferred tales "where acts of valor are more dwelled upon, than (the) affairs of Venus⁵."

Numerous of Fred's defenders kept the venom flowing. One going so far as to threaten "to loosen up my .44-6 on that man Lovecraft!!"

HPL then escalated the 'fight', venting his contempt - in verse⁶!

One John Russell became Howard's personal 'enemy' - by responding in kind!!

The whole thing was a sort of an early "rap battle" with "wicked burns" being spit out by both sides!

In the end, both men came to regard each other as intellectual equals, veterans of a rarified battleground...

This poetic "smackdown" would see both men suddenly become 'noticed.'

Notes:

1. Argosy was the 1st American pulp fiction magazine. It specialized in short story, male oriented tales.

2. As usual, HPL likes to use race & bad pseudo-science to empower the impact of his curses.

3. I don't know who writes under this name, so don't ask. She/He/It does have some great turns of phrase.

4. A common trope of this 'romance' material is rape 'enjoyable' enough for the 'heroine' to fall in 'love' with the 'hero' - without her ever consenting to have 'sex'!!!

This is something that still crops up in rape fantasies, porn movies, etc...

5. Venus was the Roman Goddess of Love & Sexual Passion. She's the Latin version of the earlier Greek Aphrodite.

6. Mostly heroic couplets in the style of Pope & Dryden.

Lovecraft's poetic missives include the "Ad Criticos" cycle & " The End of the Jackson War."

Quotes:

1. In 1913 (during the 'war'), Howard stated - in some surprise, "(My little letter) created an immense sensation (of hatred) among... Argosy's readers."

2. In 1916, HPL crowed that, "The editor... had anti-Lovecraft letters - on the following month!"

"Then, I (wrote) another satire, flaying my tormentors in stinging iambic pentameter⁷."

"This too was printed - til the storm of fury waxed high."

(The dispute was, for the most part, quite good natured.)

Note:

7. Iambic pentameter describes a poetic satire written in 10 syllable sentences & composed of 5 parts.

#hpl bio #hpl output #correspondents at war #argosy flame letter war #1913: 1st Rap Battle?!!

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aftertheheavydrinking · 10 months ago

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December 16, 2023: I entered the testing area of the diagnostic center and was instructed to empty my bladder before the TransV Ultrasound started. Same as the last diagnostic center we went to, taking photos and videos is also not allowed here. Additionally, only patients are permitted inside the Ultrasound Room, leaving my husband and son waiting outside the door which was unsettling. The OB-Sonologist finally inserted the thingymajiggy inside me after the previous condoms burst twice, stating that I’m resisting it. (Tho, I’m not. I’m just tight like that. Chos. Hahaha.)

___

Following the events from my last post, my OB-GYN recommended continuing with my current medication and emphasized the importance of religiously taking Duphaston as it would help with my Subchorionic Hemorrhage. She highlighted the need for me to rest, suggested reducing my intake of sugary foods and liquids, and mentioned scheduling a blood sugar test after a month of fasting. Internally, I sense that my OB-GYN might be downplaying my actual condition, perhaps to shield me from unnecessary stress.

I continued with my daily routine, the difference from my previous pregnancy and this pregnancy is that getting enough sleep is a challenge. My shift begins at 10:00 PM, typically, I wrap up all my tasks by 4:00 AM just to be prepared in case I start feeling sleepy. I inform my agents, take a break, and return by 5:30 to 6:00 AM. I consolidate my lunch and breaks into one, perks of working from home then I end my shift at 7:00 AM with all tasks completed. I'm really proud of myself and my multi-tasking skills.

___

While she’s doing her thing with the thingymajiggy, I shared with her the previous result, which she confirmed—indicating that I indeed have Subchorionic Hemorrhage.However, her next words sent a shiver through my spine, making me want to scream and crumble. “May nadinig ka bang heartbeat sa first ultrasound mo? Kasi wala akong madinig ngayon e. Sana mali ako…” I'm at a loss for words. I can't seem to recall if I heard any heartbeat myself, but suddenly, I remembered the previous results etched into my memory. Meron, 118bpm yata yun e. The doctor adjusted the monitor to face me, displaying my uterus, the supposed location of the hemorrhage, and my baby's placement. “Kung may heartbeat na narerecognize ang machine dapat mag-iiba yung color ng lining sa screen. Pero look oh, tahimik. Wala talaga mommy e.” The only way for me to navigate the situation is to quickly go on defense mode. From an emotionally charged Cancer Woman to being the Dark-Humored Girly that I am. “Doc, check mo ulit, baka bobo lang ‘yan, nakalimutan tumibok.” She looked at me with visible pity and concluded the session with, "Indicate ko nalang lahat dito, then just show it to your OB-GYN, mommy, okay? Okay na po. Balikan mo nalang result maybe after 1-2 hours, mommy.“ I quietly walked out the door and found my husband waiting outside with our only child, my only baby. Searching my eyes, he immediately sensed something was wrong and asked what's going on. I quickly and quietly replied, “Wag dito, dun na sa labas.”

Entering the car, I broke down. I cried and cried and cried some more. My intense and loud crying likely scared my 9-year-old son. He cupped my cheeks, making the sincerest effort to comfort and console me, helping me regain my composure as I held onto his hands. Meanwhile, my other hand received small kisses from my husband. I tried so hard to reiterate what had transpired inside the ultrasound room as clearly and completely as I could. And then we cried some more.

With my side of the family currently out of the country, my husband chose to drive to his parents' place for some much-needed comfort. His sisters and I decided to go out and eat, not fully accepting the reality of the situation. We’re laughing about various unrelated topics, all the while pretending that everything is still okay.

Driving home, tears flowed once again. The weight of my OB-GYN's response to the message I left regarding the result hung heavily in my mind: “Intayin mo na lang duguin ka, bago kita raspahin.” It was a statement I was never prepared to hear or read.

___

More to come.

#family #journal #life #momlife #personal #fertility #pregnancy #pregnant #filipinobloggers #filipinoblogging #miscarriage support #miscarriage #d&c #missedabortion #missedmiscarriage #grief #pregnancy loss #angelbaby #brokenheart

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hannah-the-red-head · 4 years ago

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A Third Submission to the Imagines Society”

(League of villains meets an Autistic child with a quirk that is the definition of too good for this world and then some)

You were a tiny thing when Twice, Toga and Magne stumbled across you at the park, staring intently at what looked like your shoes with your back turned.

Magne summarized that you were most likely around 5 or 6 years old based on the kindergarten uniform you wore, the adorable hat hanging on your back while your (h/l), (h/s) (h/c) was out and about. Usually, the tree would lose interest after a while and go about their merry way.

But there was something about you that made them stay, Toga’s curiosity getting the best of her as she skipped over to where you were on your knees, she then peeked over a shoulder to see you staring in awe at butterfly that was softly moving it’s wings while resting on the petals of a blossom planted in the nearby garden.

It was one that she had never seen before, well at least in real life, but the sandy blonde remembered that she had once seen it on the internet somewhere.

It was a monarch butterfly, and last she or anyone else knew, the species were hanging by a thread and close to extinction over the last 56 years. She had admit that the pictures were close to nothing compared to the real thing as Toga watched with starry eyes at how the orange colors splashed with black and white glowed in the sunlight.

Magne herself, followed by Twice then decided to follow toga’s lead when she began to giggle like an actual schoolgirl instead of the blood obsessed vampire they knew and loved. The two peeking at the sight of both you and Toga being the surprising perches of a collection of what looked to be more Monarch butterflies that seemingly appeared out of no where.

And one of them was perched right on the tip of Toga’s nose.

Meanwhile, you had taken notice that you had a butterfly watching buddy the second you felt her crouched down next to you, your glowing (e/c) eyes staring at her with curiosity before deciding that she was interesting enough for you to deem her harmless, despite not knowing the truth.

Because in your young and innocent head, anyone that appreciated butterflies as much as you did was a good person and/or possible friend in your book.

She looked at you when she felt your eyes on her and gave you a big smile, which from what you learned meant that she was happy. So that meant that she likes you too. You smiled widely back and a series of bright rainbow colored balls of light lifted themselves off your little form, your quirk creating more butterflies from them while your new friend’s eyes sparkled.

Your quirk was called Wonder, the specialist who gave it that name having been inspired by the same emotion felt after witnessing you use your quirk at first hand to bring a rat back to life after it had been killed by a mousetrap, and later on when they returned back to the room to see that it had been filled with butterflies flying beautifully above them.

Nowadays, you mainly used your quirk to create butterflies.

Why?

Because butterflies made you happy, they made you calm, they took your worries away... and watching them was akin to what your therapist at the orphanage called stimming, your hand movements if you easily became overwhelmed resembling a butterfly flapping it’s delicate wings.

You were also fond of anything that felt like the texture closest to what you thought butterfly wings looked. However, this obsession was also the reason why your were ostracized by the other children, ignored completely by them at the worst despite how hard the workers at the orphanage tried to explain what your condition was.

You didn’t understand why the workers had the need to get the other kids to like you, if you wanted friends, you’d get some yourself on your own.

And you never understood why you had to take speech therapy, wasn’t writing in your notebook enough? You hated loud noises, they scared away things, things that are... nice.

Things like butterflies and rats and rabbits and deer, which meant that you couldn’t appreciate them anymore if they left.

So, why was there a need to make noise or let alone talk? You could never control how loud your voice was anyways. You didn’t care about how sometimes you overheard the caretakers at the orphanage whispered things about how alien you acted.

Which led to where you were now, little you having completely forgotten that you were separated from the other children heading back towards the orphanage after school had finished when you eyes spotted a flower that looked familiar until your quirk manifested the butterfly.

They sounded as if you were broken as a human.

When in reality you weren’t, you weren’t broken and needed to be fixed. At first it made you believe those words, but the moments where your eyes caught onto anything relating to those paper thin wings that radiated with the colors of the rainbow, you’re mind went to an alternate world where those who spoke about your strangeness were nonexistent.

It was then that you remembered seeing the same flower from the picture book at your school, the pink and green flora being the type of chosen roost for the orange, white and black insect to rest on if they got tired.

You never knew how much time passed when you felt your new friend’s presence near you until you turned around silently to see a schoolgirl older than your smiling peacefully at your creation, who then smiled at you.

Smiles meant something good, right?

Your quirk activated instinctually, your subconscious telling you to make your friend happy again by creating more things that made her happy, like how butterflies made you happy. You watched as the manifested insects flew over to the girl and rested on her shoulders, two nestled on the wild hair of her twin buns and one on her nose, the sensation of it’s delicate wings tickling her skin bringing a giggle out of her.

You copied her, giggling as well as you knew that laughing is what friends did. The exchange between you two led to a pair of others appearing behind your friend, the both of them watching in awe at how gentle you were.

Meanwhile in their perspective, Twice and big sis Magne were in awe.

This was a side of Toga that the pair had never seen before, so their interest in you grew steadily as they approached you both, seeing that the number of butterflies had grown the closer the became, the same orbs of light appearing to change into other species before the skies above the park had clouds of multicolored wings flying above like a piece of artwork created by nature.

It felt like a blessing to witness a sight like this, a much desired peace accomplished after so many months of being on the run from heroes and the police.

Twice jumped up and began to comically twirl about among the flocks of winged bugs, his splitting personalities having been silenced by the Nirvana he felt surrounding him, only stopping when he heard a few giggles left your mouth while you tried to keep up with him and Toga’s free styling dances without a care in the world.

The four of you not caring that you were getting strange looks and even scowls from those who crossed your paths in order to get a better look at the butterflies conjured by your beautiful quirk.

By the time the sun had set, you and your new friends had collapsed onto the grass, laughing in between breaths from all the fun you shared in those hours of innocent fun.

And you were the one to give that sense of childhood purity of fun back to them without realizing it. In your mind, you were happy that you had finally made friends by yourself as with a kick of your short legs you sat up and turned to the one closest to you, a tall woman with sunglasses and short hair the other two called “Big Sis Mag”.

You poked her cheek and she turned her face towards yours. Taking a deep breath, you decided to try something new that you hadn’t done or were comfortable with.

You: (Yy...yourrr n....nnamme!).... (Your Name)!

It was hard at first, being silent for most of your childhood being the reason as to why you sounded like a newborn attempting to say their first word. But the pride you felt as you pointed to yourself when you said your name clearly on the second try was amazing.

“Big Sis’” eyebrows shot up in surprise, and you understood why she was shocked as the only noises you made were giggles and squeals.

You: (Your name)!.... B-big sissy... Mmmmmag! Fr...friends! T-t-too...Toga! Fri..ends! Twi...Twice! Friends!

All three had unknown expressions present while you gave them a wide toothy grin that you had never given anyone except for your mama.

Twice: I think I’m gonna cry.... No, I’m not! Grow a pair!

Twice cartoonishly wept through his mask, tears that would only exist within an Animé pouring from the eyes of his black and grey mask before stopping almost immediately, his face changing to that of a stoic man drawn in comic books.

Toga just smiled at Twice, before a weak tug on her cardigan pulled her attentions to you, your arms held out wide and with an excited glow to you. You always remembered the warmth your mother’s hugs were growing up, how safe and loved you felt when your adorable self tackled her leg in a weak koala hug before she pulled you into her own arms.

Toga: Oh does (y/n)-chan want a hug?

You nodded and tackled the blonde, arms wrapped around her neck with you cheek pressed against hers, something your mother called “cuddle bumps” as you hated it when someone kissed you.

You: C-cu-cuddle bu-bumps!

Twice: I want cuddle bumps! No, I don’t that’s weird!

You nuzzled your cheek against hers, the teenage girl internally squealing and hugging you back as she was overcome with a sense of some maternal need to protect you and the light your little self emanated, both figuratively and literally as your quirk caused you to glow a warm pink color.

Toga playfully stuck out her tongue towards him, when an idea came to her.

—————

Shigaraki: And the most logical thing that you could ever think of in that moment.... was to bring this brat home?!

Toga’s cheeks puffed up as she hugged your little form from behind while you fiddled with your quirk, a manifested butterfly perched in the palm of your hand. You loved the feeling of your big sister’s soft cardigan as she hugged you.

Toga: Of course, Shiggy! I mean they’re an orphan left behind by those “caretakers”, we even waited to see if anyone would come looking.

Twice: Yeah, it was so nerve wracking! I was bored beyond belief....

Shigaraki let out an aggravated sigh, knowing that you had wormed your way into the hearts of the most in the league, Dabi being the first to cave when you used your quirk to soothe the pain in his burnt skin. He didn’t know why, but the fire quirk user’s eyes softened when you gazed up at his skin and your smile faded, a look of genuine worry that he possibly never experienced in some time as your tiny hand went up to hold his hand with the both of yours.

The rest of the already shocked league watching as an aura glowed from your small form, the glow then moving up your arms and finally covering Dabi in the glow before then pulling away into orbs that popped like soap bubbles filled with fireflies.

Dabi reacted in a way that not even he could describe as all the unbearable burning pain his scars brought him disappeared, a strange surge of.... calm washed over him.

It was the kind of calm that one would feel when a powerful storm dissipates, allowing the warm sun to bathe the earth once again.

And it was the type of calm that brought a heavy exhale out of Dabi, almost as if he had finally learned to breathe, tears falling down his cheeks and startling him, a hand shooting up to touch his wet face and pulling it away to see what was falling from his eyes.

This... made the tears fall harder.

Dabi had long forgotten what it felt like to cry actual salt water tears instead of blood. A relieved upwards tilt pulled at his lips as he fell to his knees before you, no words exchanged, just glances and a gentle grip of your joined hands.

You: No pain?

Your concern overweighed your struggling speech, your free hand raising up to hover next to his cheek. He chuckled softly, allowing you to place your hands onto his face.

Dabi: No pain. All better.

Your quirk was befitting for such a gentle, caring and kind being as you.

To put it simply, you could restore a person’s injuries, negative outlook on life due to traumatic experiences, and even their lost sense of morality via through your touch, being in your presence, or even by witnessing your creations first hand.

This was your power, a quirk that purified the evil living within this cruel world.

You could literally restore a person or persons lost sense of morality, your quirk changing a sociopathic killer into a saint seeking redemption just by spending an hour with you.

Your quirk also allowed you to heal any kind of wound or cure any illness, it could even replace missing limbs and the like as long as you kept your focus.

And it was meant to be protected.

Which is why you were taken into the protection of the league of villains, the only group of people who were the first to actually care for you after your mama’s passing, and didn’t speak badly of you or your condition.

Because they didn’t mind that you were autistic, they didn’t see you as broken or wrong. How did you know that they didn’t ostracize you?

They told you.

Twice: You, broken? Ha, that’s fresh! At least you don’t have more than one voice in your head...

Toga: My quirk needs me to drink the blood of the person i’m going to transform into in order for it to work, and because of that, I was pushed away by everyone for how creepy it made me look.

Magne: Anyone would be proud to call you their kid with a drop of a hat. So what if your special needs, it doesn’t make you any less human, sweetie.

Dabi didn’t say anything when you asked, in your broken speech, if you were broken. Instead, he just ruffled your hair and let you wear his jacket all day.

Compress: This world is filled with imperfections, but who is to say that imperfections are ugly and unwanted. To me, imperfections are where true beauty lies as it shows that despite their flaws, they try again and again to make themselves better.

Spinner: Kid, I am a walking talking lizard with pink hair and a desire to follow Stain’s path to create a society where only those who embody the traits of true heroes like All Might are allowed to become heroes.

You didn’t know how to react as he continued.

Spinner: If anything, you are the most normal out of all of us, so don’t go hating on yourself because you’re brain is wired differently. You’re perfect just the way you are.

Magne: Aww, that’s so sweet of you to say, Spinner!

Spinner: BIG SIS MAGNE?!?! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!

Toga: Enough to know that you give the best pep talks!~

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lastsonlost · 4 years ago

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Many of the women promoting the “cancellation” of men in comics, and demanding they post the recent empty promise known as #ComicsPledge, are in fact hypocrites. In this article, I’m going to present evidence of lies, collusion, rumor spreading, and, in my opinion, defamation and contract interference.

I personally know that they’ve colluded for YEARS to take down men. Specifically those with conservative politics and philosophies. This is an ongoing, coordinated effort. How do I know this?

Because I obtained access to their PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP.

This is Part 1 of the #Hypocralypse leaks

There is simply too much to put in one leak, so I will make the following three points for now.

1. The so-called Comic Book Whisper Network, which has been dismissed as conspiracy since 2016, is real, and I have hundreds of screenshots to prove it.

2. The Whisper Network has been targeting men and trying to destroy their careers, and use their connections in the comic book media to do so.

3. Whisper Network members have acted unprofessionally and unethically at best. At worst, they have engaged in what I believe could be illegal behavior.

MY STORY

I first heard about the Whisper Network back in mid-2016 from folks I knew at Image, DC, Marvel, and later, Valiant. Depending on who I chatted with, sometimes the group was called ‘The Women’s Network’, other times ‘The Whisper Network’, occasionally ‘The Whisper Campaign’, and eventually there were more conspiratorial names used mockingly (a friend called them a gender-swapped 4Chan, which became ‘FemChan’ to some insiders).

Regardless of the name, it was all the same group.

The same five or six names kept popping up in conversation over and again. As time ticked on, I noticed a trend on Social Media: half a decade of rumors, false allegations, cancellation attempts , and they almost always traced back to these same five or six people. The goal of this Whisper Network, according to industry folks, was simple: choose a target, smear them until they lose their reputation, their income, and are ultimately blacklisted – opening up job opportunities for the same people who started these smear campaigns in the first place.

Behind the scenes these “cancellations” are painted as morally or politically motivated, but in the end it’s all financial. As time passed, the group in question seemed more and more like a reality. I saw their influence. I saw things I knew to be verifiably untrue go viral online, appearing in what I thought were legit news sources. I felt angry and helpless seeing innocent people getting attacked, but did not know what to do.

A few years passed and by 2018 almost everyone I interacted with in the industry seemed to know about the Network, from top level editors right down to the letterers. It was an open secret, but no one was willing to speak up for fear of being targeted themselves. They knew the consequences.

And after all, this was a secret network. Without proof, there was no point in going public because members would just deny its existence, and use their media connections to smear anyone who challenged them.

THEN THINGS GOT INTERESTING

December 16, 2018, Whisper Network member Gail Simone, who joined the Network 6 years ago (4 years before the following tweet was posted), mocks “doofuses” who speculate that a “whisper campaign” exists.

At this point in late 2018, I was still skeptical of the Whisper Network’s existence. I’d heard many stories of individuals spreading rumors and lies, and plenty of malicious behavior was going on behind closed doors. Though I wasn’t ready to believe it was a coordinated effort, or collusion was involved. Then, certain people began openly mentioning the Whisper Network and my attitude changed.

March 26, 2019, Heather Antos, a member herself, did not outright mention the Whisper Network or her involvement, but she made what some took as a veiled threat to those who got on her bad side.

Heather “milkshake girl” Antos’ colorful backstory at Marvel, and later at Valiant, is notorious in the comic industry. A conversation about office rumor-spreading and bullying is never complete without someone bringing up a juicy Antos anecdote. Everyone has one.

Up until then, I still hadn’t seen ACTUAL PROOF of a larger scheme. But then, something changed in 2020.

January 8, 2020, Alex de Campi, who I would discover is one of the most active Whisper Network members, openly admits there is a Network. I have no idea if this was a slip or a brazen attempt to show off her power and influence, but this appeared.

Eventually, everything I had heard and read was confirmed beyond any shadow of a doubt after I gained access to their private Facebook group.

I WAS INSIDE THE WHISPER NETWORK!

This is the place where the Whispher Network has been colluding for years. And although their activity is not confined to just this site, from what I can tell, this was where they first met, and started their coordinated campaigns.

Members of the Secret Group called “Comic Book Women”

At present time, there are 440+ members of the secret Facebook group, called COMIC BOOK WOMEN. From what I can tell, a few are regular users, though many of them have never posted.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/comicbookwomen/

*unless you are a member, this will not show up in a search

Secret Facebook groups offer the same level of privacy as closed groups, but operate under a cloak of invisibility. No one can search for secret groups or even request to join them. The only way to get in one is to know someone who can invite you. Everything shared in a secret group is visible only to its members.

This secret group includes a list of members whose actions and connections speak for themselves. Members such as:

Zoe Quinn

Gail Simone

Alex de Campi

Heather Antos (aka Heather Marie)

Mags Visaggio (aka Magdalene Francis)

Mairghread Scott

And several key members of the group are women who work in the comics media and can be used to run damage control, including women like Heidi MacDonald of Comics Beat. They have contacts outside of the secret network as well, with some male allies in both comics and the media.

Just the fact that all of these folks were secretly linked in a private network came as a shock to me, considering their reputations and the accusations that they’ve made. Immediately I began to connect the dots…

They’ve denied for YEARS that they coordinate their actions in private. And yet they always coincidentally appear on Twitter, retweeting and amplifying each other’s accusations, signal boosting one another, and helping them gain traction. And their allies in media – Bleeding Cool and CBR specifically – will turn those same tweets into stories almost instantly & with no fact-checking or verification, sometimes within the hour.

I’m going to start explaining who the key actors are, and, from my perspective, how they coordinate these attacks.

KEY ACTORS

There are too many people to focus on at once, so I will have to break this into several posts, but I will start with one of the clear group leaders IMO.

Alex de Campi is well connected, despite never being part of the Big Two (since, from what I’ve been told management is well aware of her bullying, harassment, rumor-spreading and unethical behavior that goes back years, and depending on who you talk to she’s almost as notorious as Antos or Tess Fowler). She just wrapped up a graphic novel campaign on Kickstarter with David Bowie’s son, the Hollywood film director Duncan Jones. It grossed over $366K

All the while she makes baseless accusations while demanding transparency from everyone else.

Now, I’ll take you into their private network.

Two years ago, on May 13, 2018, De Campi launched a private campaign to target an independent creator, claiming she was using her connections to have Simon & Schuster cancel their book.

In addition to contacting the publisher, others in the Whisper Network coordinated their efforts to contact media outlets to have the narrative changed, according to the posts in this thread. Again, in my opinion, this could end up as a defamation or tortious interference case, and has many implications regarding media bias as well.

The following month, on June 23, 2018, de Campi posted private text messages between herself and writer Max Bemis in what appeared to be an attempt to damage his career. Despite Bemis being mentally ill (diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2014), de Campi still posted the private messages with malicious intent IMO. According to US and UK law this is an actionable offense: posting private texts without both parties consenting.

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thevioletjones · 4 years ago

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31, because I can’t see it fitting Ian/Mickey easily and know you’re a good enough writer to prove me wrong ☺️

Thanks! I tried. 🙂

Prompt 6: “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.”

Ian’s Box of Crap

Being currently unemployed, Mickey didn’t have much of a leg to stand on when attempting to deflect Ian’s demands that he get chores and household tasks done while his husband was out earning an honest paycheck. He wasn’t even allowed to shake people down anymore, let alone pull robberies, or get back into the drug trade. Ian had made it clear that divorce wasn't off the table if Mickey deliberately did something stupid that got him thrown back in prison for a long stretch.

He didn’t much like being told what to do, but what he liked even less was not having Ian in his life. He’d had to go too many years without him in the past, and nothing good ever came during those times. Unfortunately, Ian Gallagher was it for Mickey Milkovich. That meant that he actually had to stay in line and put in the work if he didn’t want to lose him again. Ian wasn’t as soft as he used to be. Never really had been at his core, but the maturity of age had cemented his backbone rather rigidly, and Mickey was actually loathe to piss him off too badly these days.

So he did the bullshit grunt work requested of him, just to keep the peace. He was tired of fighting every day of his life, and what was the point of marrying Ian if they weren’t going to try and make each other happy?

In the past couple weeks, Mickey had done everything from laundry and dishes, to vacuuming and mopping. He’d patched up a couple of big holes in the wall that Frank had made, and fixed the loose parts of the wooden outdoor steps and banisters, both front and back. He’d even gone so far as to babysit the tiny, helpless Gallagher spawn a few times, which had been interesting and somewhat terrifying. Then Ian had given him this look when he caught the scene one afternoon, eyes shining, smile beaming. It reminded him of that brief time they’d helped take care of Yevgeny, which made Mickey’s head spin. He didn’t need Gallagher getting the whole ‘having kids’ thing back in his head right now. Mickey was in no way ready for all that. Hadn’t been the first time, and they’d all seen how that turned out.

Today, he was supposed to clean out the attic. He told Ian that asking someone outside the family to do it sounded like a bad idea. How was he supposed to know what shit the Gallaghers wanted to keep, and what they wanted to get rid of? What if he made a mistake? If anyone had asked him what to keep from the hoarded piles of shit in the Milkovich house, he would’ve laughed in their face, then set everything on fire. Mickey wasn’t the sentimental type. So did Ian want him to just toss everything?

Ian had rolled his eyes, clarified that Mickey was a Gallagher now, and given him a run-down. Anything that had obviously been made or cherished by a Gallagher kid, any family photos and albums, or small boxes of keepsakes, those stayed. Anything that wasn’t being used by anyone, but could be of use and handed down to the youngest or recently shacked up of them, set them aside to be put in rotation. Anything that worked, but they already had one of or didn’t need, donation box (because apparently they actually sometimes donated shit to the local shelter). And anything that looked completely unnecessary for anyone, throw it in a Best Choice trash bag, but don't take them to the curb yet. Ian would go over everything when he got home to make sure it was sorted correctly.

“So you’re gettin' me to do all this boring-ass grunt work, then you’re gonna have to go through it anyway? What the fuck, man?” he’d asked.

“It'll make the whole thing way easier on me, so can you just shut the fuck up and do me the favor? I’ll blow you later for your trouble.”

“Like you wouldn’t be doin’ that anyway.”

Ian had shrugged. “If you don’t, I won’t.”

“Threatening to withhold sex? That’s a bitch move if I ever heard one.”

“Whatever, deadbeat. You want me to support you, gotta help out when I ask. A blowjob would just be a bonus, because I’m generous of spirit.”

“I’m not gonna forget this hardcore manipulation, Firecrotch. I’ll get my revenge eventually.”

Ian merely kissed him on the nose. “Sounds like a plan. See ya.”

And he was out the door.

“Asshole,” Mickey’d muttered under his breath.

And now, a few hours later, here he was; sitting on the dusty, hard planks of the weird-smelling Gallagher attic, sorting through the memories and forgotten things of the family he’d married into less than six months ago. He’d dawdled as long as he could on the couch, eating junk food and watching his favorite daytime game shows, judge shows, and salacious ‘who’s the baby daddy?’ shows. The only hint of fun left in the remainder of his day was in the bong and the beer he’d brought with him up the rickety ladder. After every box sorted, he’d take a rip or two and chase the smoke with a long swig of cheap alcohol.

The most interesting things he’d found so far were some old pictures of Ian when he was little, his hair a curly mess, and his pale skin covered in dark freckles. His smile was too big for his face, and he looked goofy as all hell. Nothing like the hot hunk of man he was today. It was the Ian Mickey remembered from Little League a million years ago. And maybe he’d set one of the photos aside to keep for himself and taken some pics of others with his phone, so what?

Mostly he’d had to sift through little Debbie’s ridiculous girly shit, and Frank’s completely random assortment of insignificant trinkets with a side of what looked like bondage gear. He’d since moved on to a group of boxes obviously labeled by Carl when he was younger. He recognized the scrawl, occasional backwards lettering, and lack of possessive apostrophes. The words were short enough not to be atrociously misspelled, and consisted of a Gallagher first name in plural, followed by: ‘box of crap.’

Everybody had one, including Fiona, who hadn’t taken it with her when she’d left Chicago, and the kids she’d raised as her own, behind. The most scandalous item in there was a dildo of decent size that Mickey definitely would’ve packed in his suitcase if he’d been the one moving away as a single chick. The thought crossed his mind to pilfer it for his own collection, but he figured that Ian would be weirded out by the association. Sex toys were probably the only thing Gallaghers never shared between them.

Carl had a box of his own, semi-well-hidden compared to the others, and Mickey discovered why when he’d managed to get the copious amount of packing tape off. It was full of straight porn mags with big-tittied women and shaved pussies, underneath an array of dangerous weapons the family had forbidden him to have when he was underaged. He found everything from nunchucks, to throwing stars, to switchblades, to brass knuckles. No guns or attempted homemade bombs, thank fuck. He chucked the porn in the trash pile, cuz nobody needed to see that shit, and set the switchblade aside for himself, deciding to give the rest to Ian to sort out.

He saved Ian’s box for last, opening it up to find a grab bag of old army decorations, tattered paperbacks, comics, a bunch of loose paper covered in scribbles, and a stack of notebooks.

Mickey didn’t realize Ian was such a huge nerd that he’d kept his high school notebooks, but giving a quick flip through the first two revealed they weren’t school-related at all. He remembered Ian going through a phase when he was always writing shit down, ranting about having great ideas he needed to save for posterity. Before he went to the hospital. A manic phase. Probably one of many he’d cycled through, yet Mickey had missed some of those extremes.

Everything had been so chaotic then. He’d pushed Ian away, then gotten the same treatment in return. Their typical messiness pervaded everything back then. And now, he had in his hands Ian’s unfiltered thoughts about what happened back then.

“Fuck,” he said to himself, setting the notebooks down and going for the beer/weed combo again.

There were exactly two ways to go about this: he could put the notebooks back into the Ian box and not invade his privacy, or he could skim through them and hone in on the interesting relevant bits and maybe get a few long-pondered answers. On the one hand, Ian would probably get pissed if Mickey read them. On the other hand, Ian never had to know about it, did he?

It really wasn’t much of a choice… he’d always been curious as to what the hell was going through Ian’s head back in the day. They’d never exactly been great at talking things out, and he didn’t have it in him to try and make Ian relive some of the lowest moments of his life just to give Mickey some peace of mind. Plus, they were always facing some new bullshit obstacle head-on, so the past always just kind of got lost in the shuffle of their present difficulties.

Mickey took a deep breath and opened one of the notebooks again. The pages weren’t dated, and a lot of it didn’t make much sense. There were many lists with lines crossed out, but they didn’t describe things ‘to do,’ more like an endless inventory of concepts and feelings. The thought patterns were totally abstract, and Mickey couldn’t really make heads or tails of them. It hit him sharply in the chest when he realized that when Ian had been out of it, he’d really and truly been fucking out of it. These seemed like the crazed rantings of an unmedicated schizophrenic babbling on public transportation. It pained Mickey to the core, and it scared the shit out of him too.

He flipped through it fairly quickly, then opened the next one. It seemed to be calmer, more legible, and less unintelligible. It was more like a diary with bad poetry sprinkled in, and it only took a few pages for Mickey’s own name to jump out at him among the wall of words. It must have been written during Ian’s lost months, after going AWOL from the Army when he was 17.

He described running away from Chicago, scamming his early enlistment, crashing and burning his way out of bootcamp, shaking and selling his ass as a club boy, snorting, smoking, and swallowing all manner of substances, and crashing anywhere from penthouses to flophouses with sexual favors sprinkled in liberally. It was like the chronicle of a person going mad and coping in all the wrong ways. It surprised Mickey how emotional it made him to read these things in vivid detail. He’d completely forgotten how worried he used to be about Ian. When he was gone, when he went missing again, and when he started doing irrational things that could’ve ended so much worse than they did.

Ian was the one that had to live out all the drama and trauma of his disorder, but Mickey was the one caught on the sidelines, not having a single clue what to do or how to fix it. He’d never felt so useless or helpless in his entire life, even through all the bullshit he’d suffered growing up with Terry as a father. Maybe it was because of his age, or how Ian made him feel a certain way he’d never felt before. He just remembered hating it, and being so fucking sad.

These pages reminded him that through the mania, Ian was a bottomless well of sadness himself.

It was tough text to get through, and more than once, he felt like maybe he shouldn’t be reading it at all. Ian had never intended for other people to see his innermost thoughts, even Mickey. But it was impossible to stop now that he’d opened that floodgate. It was like reliving a part of their shared history through the eyes of his partner in crime. It was too fascinating.

After countless pages of dark tales from the void, Mickey came upon a page that was actually addressed to him. Surely, Ian had never intended to hand it over, but it was his nonetheless.

Mickey— I never had the balls to tell you this, But you’re the only boy I’ve ever loved. I thought you loved me too, But now I’m not so sure. I’m so confused and I go back and forth, Never really knowing what to actually think, Or what the truth is. All I really realize now is that I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you. It took you forever to let me, And now I just do it with anyone, Cuz I don’t fucking care. I just miss you, And I wish you were here. But also, I don’t, Cuz I don’t want you to see me like this. I’m having a great time on my own adventure, But also not. You shouldn’t be a part of it right now. You’re on your own strange journey, I guess. Maybe one day we’ll be on the same road together again, And also for the first time, since we never really were.

Mickey barely had enough time to sniff and wipe away the stray tear that had fallen, when his husband’s voice startled him out of his reverie.

“You’re still up here?”

“Jesus Christ!” he cried out with a visible jolt of his body.

His head snapped toward the attic hatch, where Ian’s dumb red head was surveying the musty space. Mickey let the notebook fall from his grasp, but Ian was already climbing the rest of the way in before it occurred to him that he was about to be caught red-handed with journals that were supposed to be deeply private. He could only flip it closed and grab his beer to polish it off, before Ian was crouching in front of him and taking a seat.

“Can’t believe you actually did this for me, to be honest,” Ian said with a chuckle, glancing at the bong. “Anything left?”

“Baggie’s right there,” Mickey replied nodding his head to the left.

“Nice.”

Ian got distracted with loading a bowl, so Mickey very subtly tried to nudge Ian's notebooks aside with his foot, like maybe if they were slightly farther away, he could claim complete innocence as to knowing what they were.

He watched Ian take a couple hits before passing it to him, and Mickey welcomed the opportunity to temper his suddenly sullen mood.

“How was work?” he asked between hits, before passing back to Ian.

Ian snickered and furrowed his brow. “You never ask me about work.”

Mickey shrugged. “Don’t mean I don’t care.”

“Uh huh.” Ian looked even more skeptical, and finally glanced around at what Mickey had in his vicinity. That sent his brow up high, in a decent imitation of Mickey’s usual expressiveness. “Oh. That my box?”

Mickey gulped and nodded. “Yeah. Just sorting it out. Should’ve just left the whole thing for ya. Sorry.”

Ian’s gaze snapped to his face. “You read stuff.”

It was a statement rather than a question.

“Just a little,” Mickey admitted. “I shouldn’t have. Fuck, I’m an asshole.”

But Ian only shook his head. “Nah, it’s okay.”

“You don’t have to say that. I’d be pissed.”

“I’m not. I promise.”

“Really? You’re not mad?”

Ian shook his head again. “No. Actually, I’m kinda relieved.”

“How the fuck so?”

“It's all stuff I wanted you to know. I mean, part of me used to be really ashamed, maybe still is, but… another part of me always just wanted to be totally honest with you. In a way I haven’t ever been with anyone. Even Lip. But I didn’t have the words to say it, you know? And I know a lot of it is just scary rambling. I don’t even understand what some of it means, but the stuff that’s real… the lucid stuff… it’s depressing as fuck, but it’s the truth. We didn’t always tell each other the truth, but we showed each other. And this was something I couldn’t really show you. So maybe you were meant to find these. Do my dirty work for me.”

“Damn, Gallagher, that’s kinda heavy. These were… kinda heavy. Made me feel shit I’d forgotten about, you know?”

Ian nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t read ‘em in years, but I remember. It’s why I wanted to put ‘em away, I guess. Plus, I didn’t want someone else snooping around and finding out too much. I mean, you never know in this house. It’s possible every fucking Gallagher already read them, but I hope not.”

“Ian…” Mickey started, but didn’t know exactly what he wanted to say. Words of reassurance? It was all in the past, and Ian was doing so well now. He was diligent about his medication, and he hadn’t spun out of control since before prison. Anything Mickey said now would just be cold comfort, since that notebook version of Ian barely existed anymore. Ian was always afraid that it would recur, but Mickey wasn’t. They were truly in it together now, and he’d never let Ian cross the threshold into the uncontrollable. “I wish I coulda been what you needed me to be back then. However impossible it was. Some of it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t even my fault, really. It was some shitty shit that happened to me. I reacted the only way I thought I could. There’s no use in either of us wishing we’d done things differently now. At least we got the right outcome, right? We’re together.” He clasped their left hands so that their wedding rings touched. “Forever.”

Mickey couldn’t help but snort. “Okay, you didn’t have to get that gay about it. I already had to suffer through a buncha your faggy teen poetry. I deserve a break from the high drama of it all.”

Ian laughed, kissed his hand, dropped it, then smacked him on the cheek. “Fuck you.”

“Just say when,” Mickey responded with a smile.

“After we go through all this shit, Romeo. Explain the piles.”

“Well,” said Mickey, pointing to the nearby corner, “Carl has a shitload of contraband in there. Weapons, not drugs. Frank has some shit that might be S&M gear, not sure, then aside from your lunatic journal ramblings, everything else is boring as shit. Oh, and Fiona left a big blue dildo.”

#ian x mickey #fanfic #gallavich #fanfiction #asks #answers

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argumentl · 3 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression - Ep 45, radio version, August 2016 - Dobashi in Brazil, 'Crush the NHK' election broadcast, Shark movies.

Kaoru starts the show by commenting on how suntanned Joe looks. Joe says he attended Fuji Rock and got tanned. He spent three days watching live performances and had a great time. The weather was relatively mild, cool at night, no rain, so Joe says it was quite a 'comfortable' Fuji Rock. Joe asks Kaoru if he's getting a suntan yet. Kaoru says he hasn't got a tan at all. He has been spending all his time indoors song writing.

Kaoru then reminds listeners that its only three more days until the live special will be broadcast, and reads out the title of it again. Joe says its quite a rough sounding title. People will be intrigued by it. Kaoru then says he has recieved a message from Dobashi in Brazil, and proceeds to read it out..The message reads as follows: 'Hi to everyone at TFoE. Are you all well? Are you into 'Hiranabe Go'? (*Kaoru comments, 'We kinda are'*) At the time of this broadcast I am in the Southern hemisphere, in Rio de Janeio, Brazil. There may be people wondering why Tokyo Sports has come here. I've been requested to do Tokyo Sports style reporting here, but nothing dangerous enough to get us into trouble. Some of my articles are already published, so please, fans of Dir en grey, fans of Joe, fans of Kami, and fans of Hiranabe with thier butts out (*Did I get this right?? '平鍋の下半身出たファンの皆さん'...??😳*), please do go and pick up a copy of Tokyo Sports. There will also apparently be a live broadcast of this show on August 9th and I will join it from the other side of the world for just a little while. Security is so bad here, and I may be robbed during the broadcast, but I won't miss it! Everyone please listen'. Kaoru and Joe both say they are looking forward to it. Kaoru reckons it'll be about lunch time in Brazil when Dobashi joins them for the show. Just the kind of time he's likely to be busy with work.

Tasai joins them next, for the Tokyo Sports corner. Tasai goes back to the question of why Tokyo Sports is at the Olympics. He says that overseas, people see the word 'Tokyo' in Tokyo Sports, and often mistakenly assume that it must be the major sports newspaper in Japan (*It isn't actually considered a serious newpaper at all in Japan*). Once, when a Tokyo Sports journalist went overseas to report, a special reserved seat had been set up just for them. Kaoru says he can understand how such a misunderstanding could take place. If they, as Japanese people, heard of a newspaper with 'New York' in the title, they would assume it was pretty major. Tasai calls this, 'Tokyo Sports magic'. They laugh about how the people in Brazil might see Dobashi and think 'Wow, a Tokyo Sports reporter!', they probably assume he's rich.

Tasai's first news is about one of the contenders for the Tokyo Governor position, Tachibana Takashi, who represents the N Koku party (or The Party To Protect The People From The NHK). His election broadcast/pitch was pretty incredible, says Tasai. Joe watched it, so knows all about it, but Kaoru did not. Tachibana was originally an employee of NHK. He quit after leaking info about NHK's financial trouble to a gossip mag. When running for Tokyo Governor, he put out a 6 min televised election pitch, which was actually broadcast on NHK, in which he repeatedly called for the NHK to be destroyed. This has gained both supportive and critcal reactions from the public. NHK employees get a very high annual salary, which is paid for by the NHK fee imposed on the public. Even people with low incomes are hounded for this fee, which Tachibana thinks is questionable. In his pitch, Tachibana also raised the many crimes or wrongdoings which individuals related to NHK have been involved in, including the case of two NHK TV announcers who were having an affair, and were caught having sex in a car. Tachibana claims the NHK is trying to cover up this info. Kaoru wonders if Tachibana is holding some kind of grudge against the NHK.

Joe then mentions the documentary movie 'Candidates/立候補', which deals with the topic of bubble candidates in elections. This movie features Mac Akasaka who is also another bubble candidate in this Tokyo Governor election. Joe explains that a bubble candidate is a candidate who is not expected to recieve many votes (like Tachibana). He adds that in order to run in the election, any wannabe candidates have to first pay a fee of ¥3million. This is to try to avoid joke candidates from running, and to make sure the candidates who do run are doing so seriously. The movie in question deals with the idea of paying the fee whilst knowing you won't win, and the reasons for doing so. Joe says it may obviously just be for a bit of self promotion, but this is also actually a good way to put a message out to the public that would never normally get there through the mass media. At the same time, there is always the risk that you will come across as a joke, despite paying ¥3million. Its a risk you have to take if you run as a bubble candidate. Tasai adds that any candidate that recieves less than ten percent of the vote has to forfeit the money they paid. Joe says that most bubble candidates never clear this post, and they have the added burden of campaign costs. They may get a chance to speak out about what they want, but it costs. Tasai comments that criticizing the NHK publicly is actually a massive tabboo, so ¥3million is perhaps not so expensive if it means being able to say such things publicly. With the tv election pitch which all candidates get, you have 6 mins on national tv to speak the truth exactly as you see it. Tasai's favourite thing about Tachibana's pitch is that at the end of his speech, he proposed a kind of quiz asking viewers to guess how many times he had said, 'Crush the NHK!' during the last 6 mins.

Joe also mentions that the 6 min televised election pitch can also unfortunately be used as a means to deliver hate speech, which was seen in the pitch of candidate Sakurai Makoto, founder of the ultra-nationalist/far-right group Zaitokukai. Allowing candidates to speak thier mind directly comes with this risk. Joe then brings up the legendary election pitch by rock star Uchida Yūya, still available to watch on youtube today. (*Do check this out if you havn't already!*)

Tasai's next news is about the recent hit shark move, 'The Shallows' (Japanese title: Lost Vacation.), starring Blake Lively. The movie had quite a low budget, but has taken in huge amounts at the box office. Tasai asks Joe and Kaoru if they like shark movies. Joe says he knows someone at the Rolling Stone office who is a shark movie mega-fan. Shark movies have evolved a lot since 'Jaws', there are even movies about flying sharks etc out there now. Its proper b-movie territory. These days there is also a lot of shark merchandise, like shark backpacks etc.

Tasai goes on to say that shark movies are particularly popular with young women these days. The younger generations, particularly women, are not that interested in mainstream Japanese movies, but much more into horror etc. Kaoru didn't know that young women actually went out to watch movies much these days. Tasai says they apparently tend go as groups of three or so. Each of the three will then tweet to thier friends, and so popularity spreads. Kaoru comes to the realisation that women also actually like scary stuff. Tasai says (*I think*) that a scary movie is the place to go to find young women this summer, and Kaoru likens this to playing 'Hiranabe Go'.

To finish, Kaoru comes back to talk about the live special which will happen in 3 days. Joe admits a lot of his friends have asked him about it. After the last live boadcast, they all recieved a bit of a bashing. Kaoru doesn't know how it will turn out. Joe says they will look back over the last six months during it, and Kaoru adds that he will play some more of the new jingle entries for the last time. Finally, he plugs the Dum Spiro Spero tour and ends the episode.

Songs - Dir en grey/Lotus, ???/??? (*couldn't make this out*), Dir en grey/Utafumi

Back to radio top page

#If anyone knows what the song at 12:40 is pls let me know #dir en grey #the freedom of expression #radio

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sammy-gvf · 4 years ago

Text

We get along (for the most part)

Chapter 4

Lee Bodecker X OC —————————————————-----

Warnings: none just some cursing

MINORS DNI!! this story will get 18+!!

Other chapters are pinned on my profile in my masterlist

I am so sorry for the wait!! I wanted to make sure this looks good!

ALSO HUGE SHOUT OUT TO @please-buckme for going in and editing for me!! You’re a rock star, mamas! ❤️

—————————————————————————

Friday

After having classes all week, I like to unwind at Lilly’s house with a few alcoholic beverages. We used to drink and smoke cigarettes all weekend long when we were teenagers, since we aren't anymore and we both work and attend college classes we barely have time to see each other.

Stepping out of my car onto the sidewalk of Lilly's house, I see Mrs. Bodecker on the porch of their new home. She has her radio up quite loud to where I can hear the song “ California Dreamin’ By The Mamas and the Papas. I walk myself up to the bottom of her steps and I say

“Heard the news about the house, congratulations! How do ya like it so far?” I say loud enough to get her attention. The house is a white wood 2 story house with plenty of windows to let sunlight shine through in the early morning hours.

“Oh! Maggy!” Ruth exclaimed “You scared me dear, the house is great so far.” She says bending over to turn down her radio that's by her feet. “Lee and I are settling in quite nicely. Just wish there were some younger couples around is’ll.” She says as she walks down the porch steps to give me a side hug.

Reciprocating the hug, I give her a smile and say “Well, Lilly lives here” I point over to the house to the right of her, “We are both 22 and hangout quite a bit. I guess that's considered young, huh?” I smile.

She looks up in surprise, “You girls are 22? I'm only 25!” she says with an excited tone grabbing my hand.

“You're only 25? I thought you were older!” I say surprised, I cross my arms and cock my head to the side.

“A lot of people do. It's because Lee is older.” She says, starting to walk back up her porch steps. “Lee is 32, a little bit of an age gap but it's all good” She explains smiling and sitting down on the bench again.

“Well, yeah. Lee is a little bit older.” I say smiling “I guess if yall love each other, age don't mean nothin.” I start to walk away.

“What you got there?” She asks, eyein the brown bag in my arms, I pull out the bottle of wine and show her.

“Lilly and I are going to drink a little tonight.” I say looking at her “ Would ya maybe want to join us?” I ask her with a questioning tone. She instantly peps up and runs hurriedly towards me.

“That would be wonderful. I don't get out much.” She says holding my arm.

I look at her with a smile “We are starting around 8 tonight, stop on over when you can.” I say as I walk away from her and onto Lilly’s front steps.

Giving a small knock, I welcomed myself into her home and I placed the bottle of wine in the fridge. Looking around, it looks like her family is out for the night or maybe the weekend. Her family ain't all here in Knockemstiff, they get out of town and travel about an hour or two to visit grandparents or cousins.

“Lilly, you here?” I yell into the empty house “I brought wine!” I exclaim, looking around her house. “Lils? Where are you?” I say as I walk down the hallway to her room.

There she was, taking a nap as she frequently did after a long day of work and school. I smile and look down at her, sitting down on the side of her bed and sweep some hair behind her ear, trying to wake her up a bit.

“Hmmm,” She starts to mumble as she is slowly starting to wake up. I touch her hair one more time, sweeping a piece of her brunette hair behind her ear. “Come on, Lilly. Time to wake up, bug.” I say.

Opening her blue eyes, she smiles at me and starts to stretch. Slowly waking her body back up, she sits up in bed and rubs her eyes.

“Goodness, what time is it?” She asks in a sleepy tone.

“It's about 6:50 pm” I say chuckling, she looks up apologetically and starts to get up.

“ I am so sorry! I thought that I reminded my brother to wake me up before they had left for the weekend but I guess he forgot.” She says turning her body to the side and stepping out of the bed. Her feet hit the floor with a light thud and she walks towards her closet to get changed.

Her room is lit up by the sunlight coming through her windows, the white of the walls are illuminated by the light. Her bed is in the middle of the room with two bedside tables on either side of the bed. The room is fairly clean with the exception of a few shirts lying around and the doors of her closet being open.

She pulls out a light green dress to wear around the house, since no one is here she doesn't really have to worry about looking proper. We have the house to ourselves frequently, maybe once or twice a month. We have never had full on parties but we have had a few people over from high school before. Most of the people we were close with moved out of Knockemstiff after we had graduated. Good on them for escaping this town.

“Hey,” I say towards her while her back is still turned to me. “I invited Ruth over. Ya know, the Sheriff's wife.” She turns around and gives me a “huh” kind of look.

“What do you mean? Isn't she older or something?” She asks pulling out the dress and immediately changing into it, “I thought I saw her before out hangin laundry.” She says, turning towards me.

“Actually, Ruth is only 25. She ain't much older than us.” I say, looking at Lilly. “I thought she was a lot older too because she's married to Le- I mean the Sheriff.” Lilly turns around and gives me an eye.

“Oh, so now you and the Sheriff are on a first name basis?” She says with a smirk on her face, walking towards me she stands in front of me with her hands on her hips.

I smirk a little, “I mean, yeah, we are but that's because he’s been watching me since I was a teenager. He thinks he is eventually going to catch me doing something and get me in trouble.” I say looking down at my lap and I chuckle a bit.

“Well, that sounds fine that she’s comin over.” She says sitting down next to me on the bed. “But he’s bothering’ you, you say? Have you told anyone?”

“Yeah, he's botherin me a bit. I was at church, and all, with my folks on Sunday and he got a lil close.” I say as I lower my head to look down into my lap.

“Why don't you say something?” she says looking at me with a puzzled look.

I get up off her bed and start to pace back and forth in front of her, “What can I even say? He's the sheriff!” I say as I stop in front of her. “Who would believe me?”

She gets up off of her bed and walks towards me, “I would. Hell, maybe his wife would too.” She says as she grabs my hand and starts to drag me out of her room, speed walking towards the front door.

I grab her hand and try to get her to stop, but then we hear a knock on the front door.

“Of course, when I’m tryin to get you to do the right thing, something interrupts me” She says as she treads towards the door, I follow behind her.

We arrive at the door to find a giddy Ruth waiting at the door with a smile. Her brown hair is done up with a bandanna. She's wearing a plain tan t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Lily smiles in return and lets her in.

“Hey ladies! Ready to have a girls night?” She says as she comes in and steps past Lilly. “I don't think I’ve had one of these since I was in high school.”

We turn around and watch as she stands near us, “Well, where are we partying?” She asks as she does a little shimmy towards us.

Lilly and I look at each other and give a little shoulder shrug and we all plop down on the couch in her living room.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours go by. Laughter, words exchanged and questions asked. We found out that Ruth was in college before she met Lee, and wanted to become a journalist.

When she found out that she could no longer afford to finish school, when she was halfway through her senior year of college, she dropped out and started working; hoping that she could make enough to go back.

Then she met him.

“Lee swept me off my lil feet.” She says in a southern drawl as she takes a swig of the bottle we are sharing, “He was charmin’. Talked the talk and walked the walk.” she slumped back into the couch behind her and spread her legs apart to get more comfortable.

I turn towards her and give her a questioning look, “Answer me, honestly.” I cock my head to the side, “Why Lee? You're a good lookin’ gal and a smart one at that.” I say taking a swig of the wine bottle.

She looks over at me and gives me a drunken smile, leaning forward onto her thighs with her elbows putting her face into her hands. “Why Lee?” she asks in response to my question.

“It kind of looks like she is thinking really hard about this question” I think to myself

“Well, he takes care of me.” She says as she reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. “Not to mention the pay from him bein’ the sheriff ain't too bad either.”

Lilly and I look at each other surprised as she takes the cigarettes out, lights it up and offers us some from the pack.

We take the cigarettes happily and both get a light from her already lit cigarette.

“So you don't love him?” Lilly asks as she sits on the floor leaning against the couch, taking a drag of her cigarette and a swig of the wine.

Ruth looks over at her and takes a drag from her cigarette, “I do but he never lets me go anywhere that ain't the house or church.” she says, “Hell, I could be in trouble for being here right now.” She laughs and Lilly and I give each other a look.

Lilly and I both stand up and excuse ourselves, leaving Ruth in the living room by herself as we speed to the bathroom. We hurry into the tiny bathroom, shut the door behind us and lock it.

I whisper, “Shit Lil, what are we gonna do if he finds out she's here?”

She looks at me in utter fear, grabs my hand and responds saying, “I don't know, but she's gotta go, Mags.” I shake my head, we both take a deep breath and head back out to the living room.

Ruth is passed out on the couch.

Fuck me.

We stop in our tracks and we both gasp, fear instantly striking us as we hear a door slam next door and a voice yelling,

“God fucking damnnit, where are you Ruth!” Lee yells.

The room is silent. The only thing making sound is the small snores coming from Ruth.

Lilly and I shoot each other a look, knowing we have to move fast.

“What if he just thinks she left him?” Lilly whispers to me as we move around slowly, not to make any sudden loud noises.

“He aint dumb, Lil.” I say looking her in the eyes from across the room, “The first place he's gonna look is the surrounding houses.”

As we start to hear more curses coming from the house beside us, we start moving around quickly to pick up anything that could be used as evidence against us if he comes here to check.

As we are almost done picking up cigarette buds and wine bottles, we hear the door from Lee’s house slam and loud footsteps coming towards Lillys house.

There's a loud bang at the door.

A booming voice comes through the door and we scatter, trying to throw everything away that could make us look guilty. we run over behind the couch and squat down

“Sheriff's department, open up or I’m kickin’ this damn door down!” Lee states as he slams his fist against the door again.

“Lil, you gotta go open the door.” I whisper to her in a shaky voice.

“No, you go open the door.” she says to me, shooting me a smile. “He knows you, you should be able to sweet talk him, huh?” she says, slurring her words.

“Lil, I am not sweet talkin him.” I say, “Besides, if we just hand over Ruth we should be fine, yeah?” I suggest, elbowing her in the arm.

The knocking continues.

“You have one minute to open this damn door or what I said is gonna happen” he yells again, more stern this time.

“Coming!” Lilly shouts as she stumbles to the door. Clearly, he will be able to see she's drunk.

Lilly walks over to the white door and opens it revealing an angry Lee.

Lee steps towards her, getting closer to the screen door. Lilly steps back a bit and stumbles on her feet.

“Now, darlin, who might you be?” he asks in a charming tone, standing there with his hat off and hands on his hips.

“My name is Lilly-Ann Brighter, sir.” she says as she slowly slurs her name to the sheriff.

He chuckles and says, “Well, Miss- or is it Mrs. Brighter?” He asks, “Aint you a cute lil thing.” He runs his eyes up and down her chest.

I gag just hearing that.

gross.

“Miss. Brighter, sir.” She says to him.

“I have the suspicion that my wife may have been here, due to her shoes bein out front of your front door, ma’am.” he says in an almost scarily calm tone.

Lilly's eyes instantly go wide.

Ruth blew our cover and outed us.

Fuck.

“Uh, yes sir, she is here.” Lilly says as she looks down at her hands and then back up. “We were having a uh.. sleepover!” she says, pepping herself up.

“May I come in?” he asks with a sly smile on his face.

Suddenly, I suck in cold air and realize,

My car.

It's parked out front.

He knows I'm here.

I am so screwed.

Instantly, I pop up and start running towards Lilly's room, frantically grabbing my keys, and I book it out the window. My feet hitting the ground, I hope I didn't make too much sound.

I sneak off to the side of the house, leaning up against the white side paneling as I pop my head up to the kitchen window to see Lee inside the house, picking up Ruth off the couch bridal style and talking to Lilly still. He's looking around for something, as his eyes keep wandering around the room.

I gotta get outta here, FAST.

I keep track of where they are by footsteps so I start to move faster as I hear footsteps slow.

Soon, I’m hiding in a bush out front of Lilly’s house, as Lee is standing on the porch talking to her still.

I can hear the mumbling but I can’t really make out what they’re saying.

Suddenly, he walks off the porch with Ruth in his arms, walks past me in the bush, walks up his steps into the house and he shuts the door.

I take a deep sigh of relief and wait for a second.

I get up and dart to the front door and I fall forwards to meet Lilly‘s feet standing there. She has her eyes on me and her arms crossed across her chest.

“Mags, what the fuck!” Lilly yells at me.

I rush to my feet and use my hand to cover her mouth “Lilly, shut up.” I say as I back her up to go to her room, keeping her mouth covered as we move.

We get to her room and I uncover her mouth, she whispers to me, “Why did you leave me in here by myself with him? That was so scary.” she says standing still in front of me.

I sit on her bed and take a deep breath.

“ Because, he knew I was here and I didn’t want to see him or talk to him.” I say, laying back on her bed. She’s still standing in front of me.

“You really don’t like him, do you?” she asks as she sits down next to me on the bed.

“No, I really don’t.” I say as I prop myself up on my elbows to look over at Lilly, who I can already tell is losing consciousness as we speak. “Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get a cup of water and close up the house.”

I get up off of Lilly’s bed and head towards the living room area, where I fix up the couches a little bit and turn off the living room light. The only light that is now visible is coming from the kitchen. The window of her kitchen is directly across from the kitchen window of the Bodeckers.

I make my way into the kitchen and get myself a glass of water. I step off to the side to make sure I’m not visible through the window. Hopefully he brought her in and went to bed.

I look down at my glass for a minute and then out the window.

Lee is staring right back at me.

-—————————————————————-

DONT FORGET TO LIKE/REBLOG/ REPLY!!

TAGS @please-buckme @ladyfallonavenger @youcancallmeishita @unsentlettersandmore @buckysdolls @nerdy-depressed @not-another-fangirl @do-not-pray-for-me @local-spacegirl

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes #marvel #mcu #the devil all the time #tdatt #lee bodecker supremacy #lee bodecker fic #sheriff lee bodecker #lee bodecker #ongoing fic

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bettsfic · 4 years ago

Note

hello!! i hope you're doing well~ i'm at the point where i have writing that i'm satisfied with enough to send out to try for publishing, but i'm afraid i have no idea where to start with that process. where does one look for things to get short stories published in? how does one juggle acceptances? or does that not happen? do i always get to keep ownership of my writing? is there anything to expect/look out for? you don't have to touch on all of these! thank you in advance!

congrats on finishing a story! the good news is, you now have a writing sample that is hopefully representative of your best work, and a good writing sample can open a lot of doors for you in terms of workshops, residencies, and potential funding opportunities.

the bad news is, publication is a long-con. expect it to take 2+ years to place your story. of my 3 publications, the timelines were:

“lien” -- written fall 2016, 16 rejections, published spring 2018

“an informed purchase” -- written summer 2017, 5 rejections, published summer 2018 (this was unimaginably fast)

“the ashtray” -- written spring 2017, 17 rejections, published winter 2019

if your story is genre (sci fi, fantasy, horror, etc), i’m afraid expectations are a bit different than what i’m about to tell you. so i’m going to answer your question assuming you’ll be submitting to literary journals/magazines.

the first thing you need to do is read as many short stories as you possibly can that have been published in the past 10 years. here’s how to do that:

pick up the most recent copy of america’s best short stories (this year’s was edited by anthony doerr, one of my favorite writers)

read it and find the stories that are most similar to your work

research the authors who wrote those stories and figure out what journals have published them; read as much of their work as you can

(short story collections will have acknowledgments listing where their stories have appeared. you can also find this info on an author’s website, assuming they have one)

find the journals that have published the authors you like and read their most recent handful of issues

if their aesthetic jives with your work, look into their submission guidelines to see if your story fits with their requirements in terms of word length, etc.

if so, submit! if not, keep them in mind for when you have a story they might want

you can also click through entropy mag’s where to submit round-up

there’s also duotrope, which is a lit mag submission base, but it costs money and that’s shitty of them

note there are thousands of lit mags out there, all of varying quality. you don’t want to waste your time submitting to shitty mags or ones that don’t fit with your work. the more research you do on the front end, the easier it’ll become later

it takes a long time to become familiar with the world of literary publishing. it’s a lot like a fandom in that way. you have to read what’s out there and engage in order to figure out what’s going on.

some general tips about finding places to submit:

don’t pay submission fees. some magazines will ask you to pay $3-$5 to submit. later in your writing career maybe that’ll be a worthwhile thing, but for your first pub i wouldn’t bother. stick with free submissions.

look around on the publication’s website to see if they nominate their writers for the pushcart, best of the net, or pen awards. also see if they promote their writers’ successes elsewhere, like when they get a book deal.

check to see how many followers they have on twitter and/or instagram. figure out what their reach is.

check to see if they’re affiliated with a university. if they are, keep in mind that their editorial staff will rotate every semester or year, and so will their aesthetic interests. find out of it’s run by the english department or if it’s an undergrad journal. if it’s an undergrad journal they may only accept undergrad writing. most of the time journals are run by grad students

if they’re not affiliated with a university, check to see how many issues they’ve published. fewer issues, bigger risk they’re not a journal that will keep afloat and they maybe don’t have their shit together yet. lit mags are like podcasts: everyone wants to start one; very few people make it into anything meaningful. (conversely, the bigger the risk, the bigger the potential reward. a newer mag could skyrocket, and you along with it)

see who else a magazine has published. look for names you recognize. my first publication once published mary ruefle, and i’m fucken feral for mary ruefle. my ego lifted into space after being published somewhere that she had also been published.

lastly, publication is about finding the right fit and forming relationships. a smaller mag that will value you and support you for your entire career, that is thrilled to have your work, is far more important than getting into a bigger mag that has no personal engagement or investment in you. my first publication, the editor sent me a hand-written letter about how much he loved my story. he nominated me for an award. my third publication was similar. the editor based the cover art on my story and also nominated my work for an award.

to answer your other questions: you will never have to juggle acceptances. when you receive an acceptance, you have to withdraw your outstanding submissions. when you publish, you usually sign a publication agreement for what’s called first serial rights, which means that the publication owns the rights to your story for 1 year, after which you can publish your work wherever else you want. most publications don’t accept work that’s been previously published, though.

you will need a cover letter. here is what your cover letter should look like:

Dear [Editor (yes you have to look up the editor’s name)],

Enclosed is my fiction submission, “Story Title.” Thank you for considering it for publication in [Journal]. [put your author bio here. here’s mine, and you can drag and drop your info: I received my MFA from Miami University in Ohio, where I am currently a creative writing and composition instructor. My fiction has appeared in Quarter After Eight, Midwestern Gothic, and Rivet Journal. I am a recipient of the 2018 Jordan-Goodman Prize in Fiction, and I was nominated for the 2019 PEN/Robert J. Dau Short Story Prize for Emerging Writers and 2020 Pushcart Prize. My work has been supported by the Sundress Academy for the Arts, Kimmel Harding Nelson Center for the Arts, and Hambidge Center residences, as well as the Tin House Workshop and New York State Summer Writers Institute.]

This is a simultaneous submission. I will withdraw the piece immediately if it is accepted elsewhere. I look forward to hearing from you. Best, [Your name]

i don’t know why they say they want a cover letter when 1) nobody reads them, and 2) they don’t actually say anything. i’m assuming it’s just to see that you know how to submit to journals? anyway, unless explicitly asked, don’t talk about your submission at all. the work should speak for itself.

here are some other things:

journals take around 3 to 6 months to reply to you, sometimes upward a year or more. do not follow up with them asking about your submission until it’s far past the window they say they’ll reply, and even then, i don’t recommend it

you will be rejected. repeatedly. i know writers who submit a piece upwards a hundred times before giving up on it. i give up/do major revisions after 20 rejections for a given story

submit in batches of 10 at a time and keep a detailed tracking sheet

the longer you’re waiting to hear back, the further you get in the process. if a journal rejects you after a year, it probably means an editor fought for your story and lost

treat any personal note/correspondence from an editor, even critical, as a gift. editors do not often give their attention. be sure to reply to personal correspondence

if a journal rejects you but welcomes you to submit again, submit a different piece and do it quickly, with a note that says they liked something else you sent them

if you get accepted to a journal that wants you to make major revisions that you don’t want to make, don’t be afraid to pull the piece. i’ve been in this situation twice: once where i refused to make the revisions because i felt they altered the heart of the story, and once where i made them because i could understand where the editor was coming from, even if i didn’t like it as well. that said, usually journals won’t be willing to work with you on a story that needs major edits; they’ll just reject the story, even if they see promise in it

okay that’s all i’ve got. i hope this helps, and happy submitting!

#writing advice #pardon any typos #i wrote this very fast and didn't read through it #hideyseek

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thetaylorfiles · 4 years ago

Note

To your anon asking about TTB promises. She promised no second wedding, no male pronouns or male love interests on Lover, a coming out, Karlie leaving in August, no Josh at holidays, no way they go to awards, absolutely would she not include him in her documentary because it woul be about coming out. The list is rather long. The truth is people left over stopped calling her out on always being wrong. And every month for the last 2 years dont worry, its almost over the girls are fine.

Wow. Great memory.

Let’s list all of TTBs lies, promises and predictions that never came true. For posterity.

TTB promised there would be:

[[MORE]]

1. No Joshlie wedding. At all. And no second Joshlie wedding. (Both happened!)

- in fact the plan, according to TTB was: to gently introduce Kaylor to the public.

- announce engagement > call off engagement > have Taylor be seen providing emotional support to a heartbroken Karlie > after a while, explain that spending time together amid this upset made them realize they were more than just friends!

Oops. Never happened.

2. No male pronouns on Lover (several songs with male pronouns!)

3. No male love interests on Lover (clearly a male interest in Lover. And no, London Boy isn’t satire. It’s tongue in cheek)

4. Karlie being “free” in August each and every year. (and many, many more times)

5. No Josh at holidays.

(Yet somehow they seem to be together for thanksgiving and NYE and several Jewish holidays every single year.)

6. Joe and Taylor not attending awards shows together (so far they’ve attended: Golden Globes, Cats premiere, and NME awards)

7. Joe not being included in the documentary (Taylor literally runs into his arms backstage)

8. The documentary would be about Taylor coming out

I remember (and edited to add other peoples recollections)

9. Taylor was supposed to come out after Rep tour was over.

10. Taylor was supposed to come out the day she announced her new single “ME!” In fact, the announcement was meant to be her coming out, but instead was her new single.

11. Joe would be gone before Rep Tour

12. Joe would be gone after Rep Tour.

13. Joe would be gone before Lover Promo

14. Joe would be gone after Lover release.

15. Karlie would be free from Josh literally too many times to count. She always says that the contract is up in August. Then she says Karlie re-ups.

16. Taylor was going to come out on the last day of Pride month but scrapped those plans and instead released her statement about Scooter and Scott. That the masters changed everything so she couldn’t come out.

Now, had she intended to come out, and changed her mind that very last day upon learning of the master sales, she would’ve had to:

- add 4 new songs about a male

- chang all pronouns on lover from “her” to “him”

- remanufacturing every copy (how many DNAs did that need)

- create and chang diary entries

- all this would’ve had to be done whiles Taylor spent the first week of July with her friends on vacation. And while Karlie was on a yacht with Scooter, posting several instagrams documenting it.

- Then she went straight into filming ‘Lover’ video with a man. All this in a matter of a week or two, while on vacation, right before Lover came out. (Thanks to the anon for help!)

17. She claimed Karlie never followed Joe, when in fact, she did after K’s Rep concert. A week later, she unfollowed him. Also her sisters and Josh unfollowed Taylor in that same time frame.

18. She claims that when a beard wears blue, a breakup will occur and Taylor will be free of her contract. That Taylor plans it this way. TTB has said the inevitable breakup is going to happen when Joe wears blue numerous times yet this has never come to fruition.

19. Any time there is an article about Joshlie or Joe and Taylor, ttb claims its ALWAYS “seeding” a breakup. Yet, the breakup never, ever comes. (And no one in entertainment uses the phrase “seeding”. That’s a pure conspiracy theorist term. Like “crisis actor”).

20. She once promised a nervous anon that Josh and Karlie would never actually marry. They’d only be faux engaged to make it all seem real.

21. Claimed that Karlie and Josh didn’t go to New Zealand together over the New Year. Said Josh went alone and Karlie only flew in one day to take all the pics with him- in multiple clothing changes- to get all the pics necessary for the “stunt”. Even though everyone outside of Kaylorland already believes they’re a married couple and the “stunt” got zero publicity.

22. TTB claimed many times no beard would ever attend an important event or red carpet with Taylor. Then Joe went to the Golden Globes with her, then the Cats premiere, and then the NME awards. Oops! Wrong each and every time.

23. When Joe and Taylor vacationed in the Turks and Caicos TTB claimed Joe was flown in for a quick photoshoot and flown right back out. Except the next day, he was still there and there were new pictures.

24. Claimed for MONTHS after the Joshlie wedding that it was a “photoshoot”, not a wedding. That it would soon show up in Vogue. Then it was Vogue Brazil. (The wedding was never in a magazine)

25. She also claimed it was all a giant ad for Dior. The photoshoot would be one big advertisement for Dior. (The wedding was never an ad anywhere for Dior)

26. After several Vogue magazines came and went after, TTB claimed that Josh was having the article and photoshoot put on hold so that they could release it at a time that Trump made a big gaffe and Josh would need good press. The idea being that if Trump messes up, this somehow reflects badly on Josh, though it never has.

27. TTB and Kaylors claim that the reason why Karlie and Taylor stopped hanging out in public was so as not to tarnish Taylor’s reputation by being associated with Trump. Yet, Kelle went backstage at Rep after Trump was elected.

Anyone who knows about magazines or has seen the documentary The September Issue knows that the magazine layout is planned months in advance and articles and photo shoots are put in in a timely manner. Someone like Josh would have no bearing on getting to hold it back. (The wedding never showed up in any magazine and Trump made gaffes constantly).

28. TTB also claimed that they were no longer being seen in public anymore so that the public would start to ask and wonder why they weren’t “friends” anymore. Which would “seed” a coming out story.

29. Ttb claims she’ll have definitive proof this Monday, 9/7/20/, in the form of “tea” she’s been dangling in front of her followers for months now, that will prove the existence of Kaylor.

And she posted a submission that proved absolutely nothing! Just a screenshot of Karlies insta story from May that shows the reflection of one open white umbrella and one closed white umbrella. Apparently Taylor has two white umbrella near her pool in Beverly Hills. Ttb believes this is definitive proof that Karlie and Taykor have been together in LA for months.

This was wholly underwhelming and easily disputable. Taylor’s jet has been in Utah, with Joe posting a few pics of him hiking there. Her jet has also been in RI. Then the jet went to England. While the jet doesn’t prove Taylor wasn’t in BH the whole time, it sure does make it much more likely than a reflection in glass of an umbrella.

30 TTB claims that josh posted an Instagram on 9/3 of a sunset to indicate the sun setting on his relationship with Karlie. A message sent to Kaylors. No divorce as of yet!

31. Going along with the above, TTB also claimed that she expects Joshlie to announce their divorce on 9/4/20 because it’s the slowest in the news cycle. A Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend. Yet, no divorce news and Trump calling fallen soldiers “lovers and suckers” is dominating the headlines.

32. Prior to the Kushner biography being released TTB predicted/promised that it would mention Josh’s homosexual proclivities in some way: the bearding or Mikey. And at the very least, it would paint him to be the giant criminal that she claims he is.

Instead it did nothing of the sort. It only talked about how strong his love for Karlie was. That despite his parents being unkind and unaccepting to her for several years, he stuck it out with her. It also addressed her conversion to Judaism.

33. Ttb likes to claim that Karlie never converted to Judaism. She says that because Karlie has never spoken the exact words “I converted” that it means she hasn’t. Despite the fact that many Jewish people have told her that when Karlie told Andy Cohen that she “joined the tribe” that, was, in fact, how Jewish people say they converted.

Karlie has also spoken at length in interviews and her own musings about her conversion. Ttb still refutes this and sometimes will post anons who write in questionable and anti Semitic references.

34. There was a period of time where TTB claimed that Josh needed Karlie as a beard in order to get an inheritance from an old aunt of his. This aunt stipulated in their will that he MUST be married to a woman in order to collect the money. Shockingly (to no one) TTB started claiming this right after josh and Karlie got married.

A few months later, the aunt and the inheritance disappeared never to be spoken of again. Which was absurd to begin with considering Josh is reportedly worth $800 million. Which could be off considerably, but even if it is? Even if he’s only worth $100 million? Yeah, he’s good. He doesn’t need an aunts inheritance.

35. These days (September of 2020) TTB is claiming that Karlie is staying with Josh in the contact for bearding willingly. This is a drastic change of narrative from years past when she claimed he was essentially blackmailing her to stay. For the Aunt inheritance, for not telling the world her and Taylor’s secrets, etc.

**** this hasn’t been updated in a few months. It’s now Dec. 1st. I’ll do my best to fill in a couple more below soon. There’s been a handful or two of lies that need to be recorded.****

36. People Mag announces that sources close to Karlie say she’s pregnant with Josh’s kid. Ttb refuses to believe it until Karlie herself confirms it, though in the past she has specifically stated that People is the one mag you can trust as publicists use it as a vehicle to get the truth out about their client.

36. Ttb stated emphatically and multiple times that IF Karlie is pregnant it CANNOT be a Kaylor baby because it would not tarnished by having a Kushner last name and being tied to that “organized crime” family. Nope. Taylor is in no way involved.

And now that Karlie has confirmed the pregnancy, what do uou know? Ttb conveniently changes her time, forgets all she’s said in the past and seems to be firmly on the “oh, it’s totally a Karlie/Tayklor baby. I thought so all along”.

Now, Karlie is there willingly. And when an anon asked whyC her answer was “it’s all part of the narrative.” As if that’s a sufficient answer.

37. TTB said Joe and Taylor’s career paths would never intertwine.

And now they’ve written 5 songs together. One on which he played the piano too.

There’s a lot more especially about Karlies pregnancy but I don’t have the time or energy to fill it in right now. Back soon to do it.

Anyone else remember anything specific? Let’s come up with a comprehensive list.

#taytaysbeard #ttb #ttbs lies #taytaysbeards lies #pinned post

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guigz1-coldwar · 3 years ago

Text

'Moment of peace' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Moment of peace"

"We have an night for us and now, I only want you....only you !"

Chapter Summary : Yirina & Park has no choices but been forced by Hudson himself to get to the Mount Yamantau to discover what Perseus is planning there.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3200

------------------------------------------------------------------

Yamantau...It was sounding familiar to me, not because I remember that Mason & Woods had to go to that mountain to retrieve an important object for our hunt against Perseus and not because of Hudson old mission 16 years ago but I kinda feel that this place...I did maybe visited it in my old life. I did have an memory of me, been in the Ural Mountains with Freya in that old cabin but I couldn't know if that 'supposed Perseus base' I remembered in that memory was the old one Hudson & Woods mentioned. That must be the case as now, Perseus has his sight on an soviet base in the mountain.

However, it happened that Hudson decided to only send me & Park at that place without any supports from the others. All protested about that decision but Hudson been Hudson, he refused everything pretexting that the 'others need to stay in Verdansk' to watch any possible locations about where Adler could be. That's meaning that me & Park are going to be send right at the Yamantau without any radio support & not even an single help from some agents....just the two of us, our guns, our knifes and our fists.

Hudson did make some calls after that, calling some friends in Moscow to help for transporting us in hidden sight and everything was planned to be operational in the evening of the 1st of June, tomorrow. I've spent an long night, fighting inside my head to know something more about the mountain but nothing came...nothing. The day...it went pretty fast, I didn't even see the time pass so fast while trying to intercept any communications from Perseus. When the evening came, it was time for us to go, taking an civilian car to drive to the Verdansk Airport where Hudson's contact is awaiting for us.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this." I expressed in the car as Park was driving and me on the front passenger seat, we were on the main road near the coastline at almost 2 km from Verdansk limits. "Guess that is too late to return to the warehouse ?" I demanded rhetorically.

"Yes, unfortunately." She decided to reply nonetheless to my question, sounding a bit funny un her voice. "The thing is that we just have only our outfits, our guns and our knifes...that's it." She exclaimed as we were already dressed in an part in our military outfits, our guns just on the backseats.

"Not even an radio." I whispered, looking at my outfit : an light-browned jacket, green half-fingerless gloves, an green sweat and an blue bulletproof vest with an UK flag ensign on it....one of Park's outfits...

"I don't understand why it's just us." She said, tapping her steering wheel with her two index finger, focused on the road.

"Like Woods said...." I started in an low voice.

"Hudson been Hudson...." We both scoffed in unison, wanting to break an laugh about it.

"Do you think that it because he think that it's maybe something not very important ?" I questioned her, looking at the sun getting set in the horizon.

"I don't know to be honest." She responded, not even putting her eyes away from the road. "If Freya and Knight are summoned to get there, I think it could be important." She claimed, knowing in me that she's right.

"We will have to watch out with Freya." I warned her even if she was already knowing it as she nodded to me. "Damnit, if we can collect that data before they can come, it will be better." I stated.

"Let's hope so." She grinned an little, removing her eyes from the road for only an second before putting them back in place.

"Necessary data..." I whispered, thinking of that transmission I intercepted last day. "It could be anything."

"Yes, it could be anything." She repeated my words, having the same thoughts. "Maybe Stitch is now trying to really make Nova-6 for real or...he's trying to find something important for him." She added. "As you heard, Dragovich, the guy behind the Nova-6 threat in 1968, was hiding important things in that place."

"Maybe that some of his documents could have been transferred to the soviet base." I suggested, trying to think of the multiples possibilities but everything was confusing. "Shit, we should wait until we found what was this mission all about when we are arrived in that base."

"Sure, thinking of it is going to make my mind blow up." Park proclaimed, making an little laugh from it. "We should better think about everything before." She proposed.

"That's better." I snorted, still looking outside at the horizon, seeing the sun disappearing in the darkness. "Park."

"Yes ?" She breathed.

"The day you received this letter from me...after what happened to your brother...." I started, changing the subject and sounding very silent. "What was your first thoughts ?" I asked her, looking back at her.

"Uhm..." She was looking an bit disturbed to hear me ask that question, an subject that we didn't talk for days.

"Be honest." I whispered, not sounding like an actual order.

"Well and to be honest with you, I wanted to...meet you." She answered first as we were arriving in the city limits and driving to the airport, her hands was like trembling from my question. "I wanted to know things...an lot of things."

"Listen, if you don't want to tell me, it's okay." I proposed, wanting to destress her, seeing her like that wasn't making me well at all.

"No, I think that you should know." She shook her head with an very small grin. "You opened yourself to me about your life and I should do the same." She continued and she was right : during 2 months, I did help her to know more about who was 'Bell' and even if she did help me to know more about her, there were still some things to discover. "Like I said, when I received this letter, I wanted to meet you." She reaffirmed.

"And what you would have done if you actually did ?" I questioned her.

"Just an talk, nothing else." She admitted, turning in an parking in hidden sight and discovering that we were arrived near the airport. "Things would have maybe been different, you know." She added, stopping the car in an parking space.

"Yeah." I breathed. "Maybe I would have defect earlier, maybe I was maybe going to join the MI6 earlier." I exclaimed as I took an deep breath to look around outside. "But it's too late for thinking about that, I already did." I scoffed in an silent way.

"You did." I heard Park's voice, speaking away from me, sounding pleasant before looking back at me. "Well, I think we can go now." She proposed, stopping the car engine before getting out of the car.

Since the car was in an parking who was in complete darkness and not civilians around to disturb us, we could unload the equipment we were going to use even if we didn't take many things : an grenade for both of us, 3 to 4 mags in our respectives MP5, 2-3 to our pistols, water and two MREs rations and that was it, nothing else. Our large part is still back at the safehouse as our mission could have been more difficult if we took everything with us.

Once we grabbed everything from the car, we quickly moved to get at the rendezvous point with Hudson's contact in the airport near it's helipad. Hudson told us that our transport was an soviet helicopter, an Mi-24 Hind and since it's an military helicopter in an civilian airport, it wasn't going to be hard to find between all of those commercials airplanes but the thing that was disturbing me an litte was the fact that the airport was looking deserted.

There were no planes taking off or landing on the multiples runways of the airport, no crew to load the place...this place was really deserted, something that we're not aware was happening but there were nothing of that type in the few transmissions we decrypted this day. Nonetheless, it did help us to sneak below the few planes parked in the airport to walk until we got our eyes in the helipad.

"Here's our contact." I pointed to Park with my left hand, the only Mi-24 Hind that was standing at the airport helipad with an man dressed in an soviet uniform near it.

"Let's present ourselves, then." Park said as we started to move towards the Hind as in me, I was wondering how Hudson managed to have an contact in the Red Army.

"You're my passengers ?" The man asked, his head looking down as he was smoking an cigarette...and also wearing an cap, looking american.

"Yes, we're...." Park stopped herself when the man put his head up to look at us. "Belikov ?" She breathed, astonished to see him there...and me too.

"Miss Park ?" He was also like us....shocked to see her as the two shook hands until his eyes was on me. "Miss Bell?"

"I'm not Bell anymore." I told him in an normal voice as he couldn't know about it before we shook hands together "It's been almost 2 months now that we didn't see each other." I added, my voice getting surprised.

"Exactly, I hope that everything is fine in your life." He grinned, wondering about it and I nodded to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Belikov." I expressed, smiling at him.

"I never thought that it would be you two, thinking instead that it would be Woods & Mason." He exclaimed, dropping his cigarette at his feets to crush it before passing his hand through his hair, removing his cap in the way.

"Hudson didn't tell you about us ?" Park demanded and he shook his head.

"He did say that 2 agents needed help to fly to the Yamantau but he didn't tell who." He replied, putting his hands on the Hind to hold himself on it. "Apparently, some Perseus agents are trying to steal some data."

"Yes and if we can, we are trying to steal it before they does." I explained, making him nod with an smile.

"Seems that's very important since I'm asked by him." He scoffed, releasing an laugh from his mouth, followed silently by me & Park.

"Belikov, why's the airport this quiet ?" Park questioned him, having thinking of it too.

"City officials." He instantly responded, looking at the big control tower far behind from us. "They closed the airport an week ago due to an 'foreign terrorist threat'." He continued, opening the transport bay door of the Hind. "Must have been Perseus pulling some strings to make Verdansk an quiet place."

"Also meaning that he's also hiding Adler in there." I suggested as Belikov raised his shoulders.

"Maybe or they're planning something else." He chuckled, keeping the door widely open. "Anyway, you should get yourselves ready, we're going to fly for almost an long time." He ordered, making us to move inside the troop transport bay. "Hope you don't have airsickness." He joked after we got ourselves in the Hind before he closed the door to install himself in the cockpit.

I took an deep breath as the Hind was starting to take off the helipad, only thinking positively about everything right now, the helicopter flying away to the Yamantau and like Belikov said, it was going to be an very long flight for us and during all of it, everyone including our pilot Belikov was mostly focused on themselves, in their own thoughts. From time to time, I was watching through the little porthole giving to the outside and seeing the view.

At almost one hour of flight after we left the Verdansk Airport, we could already feel inside of us that the climate was changing, going colder and that would mean that we were approaching from the Mount Yamantau. Hopefully, the clothes we were wearing was going to protect us from the cold...I will never thank Park enough for giving some of her clothes to me....

"Shit, I will have to land." Belikov told us, breaking the silence of having no one talk in almost an hour.

"Why that ?" I demanded to him from the transport bay.

"Got an radio message from the authorities on the ground, an snowstorm will soon occur." He replied, sounding normal in his voice. "They're asking for every planes and helicopters to not cross the region until it's done." He added to his response.

"You know where to land for sure ?" Park asked him.

"Yes, got an perfect landing zone right now." He responded, causing me to look outside, seeing the mountains around us and below us, an little place perfect for the Hind to land. "Landing now." He said as the Hind touched the ground, feeling it before the rotors stopped and we opened the doors.

"You were right, looks like an storm is coming." Park affirmed as she was looking away in an direction.

"I'm sorry but I will have to leave you here." Belikov expressed, sounding apologizing. "I can't let an military helicopter in the middle of nowhere in the Urals mountains and I don't want to make the soviets suspicious." He continued.

"Guess we have no choices then ?" I breathed, scratching the back of my head while holding my MP5 in my right hand

"They should be an place where you could hide in safety for the night." He suggested as he was going back inside his cockpit. "It would be too dangerous for you to wander in the middle of an snowstorm." He expressed, sounding very right in his words.

"Yeah, we ain't going to risk this." I muttered, discovering an little path going away in an direction "You have an map of the base by the way ?" I asked him and directly, he handed me an map showcasing where that hidden base was on the Yamantau.

"Should be now easy to find it now for you." He said before he got back inside his cockpit.

"We should be on the move now." Park suggested and I nodded as she start to move slowly to the path I was seeing seconds ago.

"Da svedania, comrades." Belikov scoffed, waving at us from his cockpit and we waved back before we start to walk away and him to take off the little landing zone and leaving us alone in the mountains.

We walked through this path during almost 30 minutes, avoiding every dangers and not wanting to get jumped by an animal or an surprising soviet soldier or an Perseus soldier but more I was walking with Park on that path...more I was starting to have an impression of dejà-vu in my head, like if I already took this path before....wait...I think I did have an memory about this...I couldn't remember right but I think that it's true...

"There, an cabin !" Park was leading the way until she pointed at an old cabin that was in front of us at a least 100 meters and...shit, that cabin was exactly the same one in that memory with Freya...."We should move quickly, the snow is falling more faster now." She stated as the wind was going more faster and louder and we start to walk faster to get to that cabin and then, we entered it.

"In time to be honest." I breathed as we crossed the door to get in and Park closed the door behind me....that cabin...in four year, it didn't change at all but it was more old and not used for an while. "Park...I've been here before." I revealed as she was moving to put her MP5 in an table.

"Really ?" She whispered, stopping her in her moves.

"Yeah." I started, moving to put my MP5 on the same table like here before moving next to the fireplace, Park still looking at me curiously. "It's here that....I told her that I wanted to defect." I then sit in front of the fireplace, looking at it with questioning eyes. "I was like this."

"Shit, I didn't know." She expressed, sounding apologizing.

"You couldn't know that." I turned my head around to look at her before looking back to the fireplace...discovering an metal piece among the ashes inside of it. "And even after all these times, it's still here." I exclaimed.

"What ?" Park moved to get next to me.

"The necklace I was wearing before." I responded, putting my hands in the ashes to grab the Perseus necklace in the fireplace, now looking in bad shape and not looking very nice....better like that. "Threw it in the fire in that memory." I added as Park got sit next to observe the necklace.

"I prefer when it's like that." She stated, having the same thought as me.

"Me too." I said before I put the necklace back into the fireplace, moving to get some wood from an basket near by and thanks to an lighter I brought with me, I used it to put some fire in here and give us some heat. "That's better, now." I chuckled, sitting back next to Park to obverse the fire and putting my arms on my kneecaps.

"Yiri ?" Park whispered.

"Yes ?" I turned my head slowly towards her before she moved her arm to get it behind my neck.

"Do you...like this little moment of peace ?" She demanded in an curious & low voice to me.

"Yes, I'm liking it." I answered clearly in my voice, smiling at her.

"Nobody to stop us, to disturb us." She admitted and it was true that those rare moment to be alone was so much better like if we hoped to be only the two of us in this world. "I was wondering : do you not fear about your diary getting read back in Verdansk...knowing Wolf."

"I gave it to Woods for the moment." I told her to reassure her even if she narrowed her eyes to me, not sure. "What ? I know that Woods will never give it to Wolf."

"But maybe Woods will read it." She suggested.

"Maybe, we'll see when we will come back." I blowed some air inside my hands to give me some heat. "If he did make Wolf read my book, I will kill him." I joked about it, not wanting to kill Woods at all and Park saw it, making her laugh.

"In case, be ready to not only kill Woods." She scoffed, continuing her silent and lovely laugh as I was watching her in an lovely way, like hypnotized by her until our both eyes met together. "Yiri." She breathed as she moved her hand to remove the scarf hiding her scar.

"Park." I said before we both moved at the same time to kiss each other on the lips. That kiss was so different and changing from the last days....it's been like days that we couldn't feel that feeling inside of us. Then, I moved my head to start to slowly kiss passionetely alongside her scar, making her moan in pleasure.

"We should....move to the...hm....bed." She proposed but she was too pleasured and it was too late as she slowly started to get on her back on the wooden ground of the cabin with me on top of her as I removed my jacket and the bulletproof vest with it. "You're looking lovely." She affirmed, putting her hands around my waist.

"You too." I admitted, putting the bulletproof vest aside before I leaned myself against her, our face just at at few centimeters from each other as I put my hands on her face, feeling her nice touch and smiling to see her in love.....

"We have an night for us and now, I only want you....only you !"

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