#i have nothing to give
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HOLY SHIT WHAT . ITS TODAY????? HELLO???? OMFG HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY SUPER PAPER MARIO MY ONE AND ONLY MY WORLD BEST GAME EVER PEAK GAMING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER
#I have nothing to give#no art#no fanfic#but is my unwavering devotion and pure love not enough?#I’ve literally been thinking ITS COMING SOON I GOTTA GET READY!!!!#Wtf happened#I hate myself
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there is no gentle way to say that I don’t want to be alive anymore.
#I have absolutely nothing#I have no one#I have nothing to give#I’m a waste of life#so what’s the fucking point#why do I wake up every single day#and continue to fight for nothing#it was always gonna end this way#so why do I keep fighting#i don’t understand#I’m so fucking miserable#there is no point to it all either#it’s not making me stronger#I’m not gonna find some light at the end#no#it’s just an all consuming misery#I’m scared to wake up tomorrow#I keep pushing on#and for what#just to suffer more#I’m dwindling#there’s nothing left for me#there was never anything to begin with#it will end as it always does#in tears and in blood#…#depression#depressed#personal#my post
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I already got one strongly worded email from their legal team over a different design, so I’m too scared to ever try and sell this now 😅
#art#illustration#artists on tumblr#fanart#artblr#sleep token#the summoning#music#please don’t sue me#I have nothing to give
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I am not asking for a lot of money, I only need 70 euros to buy a medicine called Kabira to treat muscle spasms for my son Adam.💔🙏
https://www.gofundme.com/f/emergency-appeal-help-save-my-childrens
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Hello, my friend, I’m Safaa. I want you to donate to me. I hope you do that.
You didn’t live what I’m living now here
You have not been caught up with direct targeting
And you don’t know that these may be the last moments
Your house did not demolish your workplace and you lose everything in a moment in front of your eyes
And all your memories go away and your life is tired in a moment
You didn’t try to go out of your house to tents more than 10 times. You didn’t try the heat in summer or the cold in winter
You didn’t see any of your friends in front of you or any of your family members
You did not experience the feeling of hunger and deprivation and not to find anything to eat, you did not try to give birth to your wife or to have you in a tent in the cold winter
And you didn’t try that you couldn’t bring medicine when you get sick
This is a small part of what we live here every day. Please help me and donate to me. 😭😭😭😭😭
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The Archivist vs the Old Ass Man
(s02e20 / s02e08)
#sorry i couldn't stop thinkin abt it#peepaw is trying to send an email#go girl give us nothing#gif#maccadam#transformers prime#tfp#ratchet#optimus prime#oldrudshore tf#oldrudshore other#dont look at the time stamp. i don't have work in the morning
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Polish Miku shows off her new hair
#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#vocaloid#my arts#that previous doodle blew up on twitter save me#I accidentally summoned over 7k people with that doodle#context- biedronka has been giving people over 1 meter long shopping receipts filled with nothing but vouchers and it's a meme now#her shirt is supposed to have number 5 on it but i changed it to 01
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they’re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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trying to describe black sails to people is my personal sisyphean task. “it’s a pirate show” bad. “it’s functionally a prequel to treasure island but also it’s not at all” bad again, and also confusing. “it’s about pirates trying to destroy western civilization” mostly only true of the second half of the show and also doesn’t fully capture what i love about it. “it’s a pirate show about the power of stories, how civilization uses shame to keep people in line and turns them into monsters, and the power of queer rage. it’s got some of the best acting, writing, everything of any show i’ve ever seen.” the most accurate, but way too long and makes me sound pretentious and insane. send help i just want to talk about my favorite show.
#black sails#i usually just got for ‘it’s functionally a prequel to treasure island’ but that says nothing about it. i tried to give my coworker the las#one yesterday but i do think i just sounded unhinged lmao#does anyone have a way that works i’d love to hear it so i can stop living like this
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FMA DAY WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO
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thanks for listening
#look at me#look at m#i need you to ignore canon for a second and let them have this moment#it occured to me that soundwave would’ve been the only one who could hear bee after he got his voice ripped out#and i drew this so fast#someone called them ‘soundad and bumbleson’ aND THATS ALL IVE BEEN HINKING ABOUT HAHHUAHA#i have a lot of thoughts about these two#soundwave is probably really accustomed to liars and twofacers after being around characters like starscream for so long#so when he meets bee#and all he gets is this blind honest truth from everything he says#he’s probably blindsided by it#like this little guy. this little yellow guy#has so much faith and love and nothing to gain from giving it away#it’s not some ploy with ulterior motives or lie to win his favour like starscream or sentinel#nope. this little guy just radiates the plain honesty of his truth#that he adores him#and soundwave has never seen anything like it before#soundwave#transformers#maccadam#b 127#transformers one#tf one#SORRY FOR THR PARAGRAPH RANT YOU CAN PRY THEIR FATHER SON DYNAMIC FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS#and yes bee still calls megatron dee in his head#he never stopped
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@foundthatoldzeppelinshirt what did u do to me...what in the wattpad is this... i only planned to do a few doodles but then i kept getting more brainrotted and things got out of hand LMAOO (and ofc i HAD to draw hockey player seb at SOME POINT bc its my duty as a canadian citizen🫡🍁🍁 O CANADA!!!)
#my dad loves hockey and i grew up with him just yelling at the tv and saying WATCH THIS! WATCH THIS! OH DID YOU SEE THAT??#the only time i would watch/found it interesting was during shootouts or whenever fights broke out BAHAHA god... theres so much fighting#the amount of blood i put on seb isnt even an exaggeration or anything out of the ordinary if youve watched hockey LMFAO#tho something i always found super cute about hockey is that the players always give each other head pats on their helmets its ADORABLE#my dad always tried to get me into hockey and now i guess i finally did something hockey related LMAOO are u proud of me papa???#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy sebastian#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#choccyart#ask#i love drawing clora in white and blue she looks like a snow fairy#and idk if its just bc im in canada but we constantly went to the skating rink for field trips and stuff in elementary school#nothing like skating on freshly zamboni'd ice mmmm thats the STUFF#going to a christmas market today as well im excited i hope they have FOOD
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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I can't stop thinking about the relationship between Jon and Helen as perhaps one of the most important ones in the entire show. They are narrative parallels for each other, and they both know it. They've both known it from the very start!
Helen walks into the Archives, paranoid, unsure of who to trust, and Jon sees himself in her. And he thinks "If i can help her, maybe there's hope for me too." Then he can't save her. The next time they meet, she's a monster. They're both monsters. There was never any other way their stories could have gone, their fates entwined from the very start.
And Helen answers his original thought with one of her own: "Maybe if we can help each other, there's hope for us both." But Jon looks at her and sees everything that he fears becoming, and so he turns her away, and refuses to accept that their stories are still one and the same.
Helen went to the last person who was ever kind to her, the only person who both knew her as a human and had the context to understand what she'd become, and he hated her. He hated her because he liked Helen, and told her that she couldn't be Helen.
So she stopped trying to be Helen, and embraced being a monster. Reveled in it even. Then Jon wakes up from a six month coma, more monster than person, and tries so hard to cling to the things that mattered to him when he was human. Even with no support, even with the entire archives staff against him, he chooses humanity and compassion over and over again.
And this is a direct threat to Helen's world view. Their stories are entwined. If Jon can continue to be a person even after everything he's been through, then she could have clung to her humanity too, if only she'd tried a little harder. And that terrifies her! She wants to conceptualize herself as someone who was completely overwhelmed by forces beyond her control, who never had a choice but to become a monster. She want's to be an innocent victim. But Jon argues with his actions that they'd both had choices.
And, Jon, in turn, holds out hope that she might make better choices until the very end.
This is the conflict between them for all of season 4 and 5. Jon wants to prove that they can both be decent people, and Helen wants to prove that they were never going to be anything but monsters. This is why she's so devoted to trying to goad Jon into enjoying his newfound godhood. She knows that they are the same, and wants that to mean that he has a spark of evil inside of him, and not that she was always capable of doing good.
When Jon kills her, she loses her life, but wins the argument. Helen is nothing but a dangerous monster who needs to be killed for the good of everyone, and in the moment he decides that, Jon dooms himself to the same fate. Their stories are one and the same. "If i can help her, maybe there's hope for me too." he thought. But he couldn't help her, refused to, even, in the one moment when it actually mattered. And thus, there was never hope for him.
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#helen distortion#my rambles#i am not normal about them#helen did nothing wrong in her entire life#(aside from being a real estate agent)#Her story is just so tragic to me#She could have been better#she had choices#thats the entire point#but the choice was between a thankless attempt at retaining her personhood#with absolutely no support and no one who cared about her#or giving into the comforting lie that she never had a choice at all#She had choices and she made them but i don't think anyone could reasonably expect her to have done any better
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elden ring OCs.
Raimes and Mirai. they hail from one of the main houses that made up Erdtree’s upper echelons.
#i have a general plot for them but nothing concrete much for now tbh#inventing things to the lore as we speak#oc tag#original character#elden ring#er brainrot#and no I don’t know anything about GoT I just give all my OCs white hair and purple eyes as default 😭
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