#i have no projects for her just thought the idea of her was hilarious af....like i love aus and e.ar.th 65 m_rvel is hilarious to me skdfk

[themarcspector-hasmovedblogs]

☕ claudia daviau (m_rvel & dc c_mics & wip stuff)//👽 sidney ahmed (wip stuff) 🗡️ lunanera rosano (dc c_mics & wip stuff) //🧪 claudia rosano (m_rvel earth 65 comics)

got tagged by the cool @multiverse-of-themind (thanks!) to do this picrew & i had a lot of fun doing it.

tagging: @gothamrains / @fayelistic / @deathlessfable / @moonsaints / @thelittlestspider / @theaisstillhere / @elizabethtaylors / @youngsamanda / @outfromthesea @girlhello and anyone else who wants to do it!

[pagesfromthevoid]

Um, I want you to know that False God is one of my comfort stories/universes rn. You write Matty like a pro! I love all the little details like Reader's backstory and that you included characters from the MCU that aren't seen or mentioned all the time like Jimmy Woo. And when there's humor, it's hilarious AF. I mean how is is so good, like--

False God | m.m. | 7

Matt Murdock x Avenger!reader

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: Language. Violence. Death. Matt’s an ass, but so is the reader. Angsty idiots

Author’s Note: This was such a sweet message thank you 😩 Enjoy these two not handling their shit and getting in trouble for it.

Series Masterlist | Talk to me!

“Foggy and Karen wanted to have dinner here this week. To meet you properly,” Matt said idly as she stitched up a rather nasty cut on his back. It was chitchat, something to distract from the stinging of the needle and rubbing alcohol.

“That sounds like a nice idea. Especially since the last time I met Karen, you yelled at me.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I had every right to yell at you.”

“Hm,” she hummed, snipping the thread of the stitches and double checking her work. “We’ll agree to disagree.”

Matt let out a huff of air, rolling his shoulders back to adjust to being straightened up. She stood from the couch, gathering the bloody tools and towels to clean. Her hands were rough this time, having still been healing from the road rash over the last couple weeks. She hadn’t projected herself into his thoughts since the night she moved in.

They hadn’t talked about what happened that night she moved in. They hadn’t really even talked about her case with Crown. Matt didn’t want to worry her; she hadn’t asked yet. She tried not to ask usually, knowing he would tell her eventually. But he wasn’t telling her a lot about this case.

It was hard for her to conceptualize that the man who had tortured her for so long was hiding in Hell’s Kitchen. Hard for her to accept the truth of the matter: that she was in danger. But her anxiety wasn’t even latched onto Crown and his need for her; it was stuck to Matt. It was stuck to him, and stuck on that demand to see her come undone that night. It should have been hot; and it was at first. But she kept going back to what her therapist said.

“I would hate to see you hurt if he’s just using you for your abilities. After all, you helped a blind man see. That’s a big deal.”

It was becoming a pretty big deal for some reason.

Matt, on the other hand, felt that he shouldn’t have to tell her until it was closer to being over. He just didn’t want to scare her, even though he knew she wouldn’t be. But this wasn’t what he could focus on, either. He had been dwelling on her hiding her arms from him the night he saw her entirely. It had poisoned the image he had in his mind, and it was something he was starting to be worried about even though she didn’t often manipulate his thoughts. He tried to justify that she always told him when she did; but what if she wasn’t always making him see? What if she was already in there? He blamed Foggy for planting the worry in his head, honestly.

“You’re not worried she’s showing you like fake things?”

He wasn’t until that day. Even Father Lantom couldn’t shake the paranoia.

With her hands washed of his blood, she grabbed a clean shirt from the laundry, tossing it to him. Matt caught it and felt it over for a moment, considering everything.

“You gonna tell me what happened?” She finally asked, walking back into the living room and sitting on the arm of the couch.

He shook his head, pulling the shirt on. “It was nothing. Just something with Fisk.”

She watched him for a moment, frowning. “You can tell me, you know. I’m a big girl. Are Fisk and Crown working together?”

“I don’t think so. Not right now anyway.”

She huffed in frustration. “You’re keeping things from me, Murdock,” she pointed out as she stood.

Her hands raked through her hair as she tugged it at the roots. Matt’s gaze followed her movements but he didn’t move.

“I’m keeping you safe,” he argued.

“No. You’re lying to me.”

“Like how you lied about your arms?”

Her hands dropped to her sides as she stared at him. “What?”

“You didn’t show me how badly you were injured,” he explained, motioning to her arms and hands as he finally stood. They were a bit worse for wear, bruised and scabbed over. “The night you moved in. You showed me what you looked like. But you didn’t show me the bandages.”

“I didn’t show you…” She glanced at her hands for a moment, frowning deeply. “You’re mad that I forgot to project my bloodied bandages while I was fucking you?”

Hearing it out loud made Matt realize how absolutely psychotic it was. He was about to speak, to apologize but she cut him off, pointing her finger at him.

“At least I showed you what you wanted after you demanded it of me.”

It was Matt’s turn to be confused, frowning deeply. “Demanded what?”

“To see me!” She motioned to herself, though she knew he couldn’t see her. “I don’t want to be your tool to see, Matt, I want to be your girlfriend.”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” He demanded, anger catching up to hers now. “I’m not with you because you can make me see.”

“I can’t imagine why else you’d be with me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Both of them were suddenly too angry to realize how irrational they were both being. This was a stupid argument; planted by seeds of distrust and anxiety. Deep rooted in their own severe traumas. Deep down, they both knew this was stupid. They knew that this wasn’t something to fight about. But when Matt grabbed his mask and stormed out of the apartment, it didn’t matter if it was irrational.

Actions spoke louder than words.

Perhaps that’s why her next move was just as bad.

*****

She was going to get arrested because of Matt Murdock.

That’s all she really knew as she walked with her head down and the hood of Matt’s jacket up, through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. There wasn’t really a direction she was headed; she just knew she was going to find him and probably try to fight him. Or maybe she’d just start crying. She hadn’t decided yet.

What she had decided was that the worst thing about dating a vigilante was that he was hard to follow. Any crazy girlfriend could stalk their boyfriend’s phone and track their location. But Matt didn’t use his actual phone, and had more burner phones than anyone should legally be allowed to carry. So tracking his annoyingly fine ass down was proving more difficult than she initially planned.

The stupid bastard was quick, too.

She hadn’t even given him a head start before she lost him in the streets. And now there she was, half past two in the morning, risking her house arrest, to find her jackass of a boyfriend. The city was fine during the day, but it was what lurked in the shadows that needed to be watched.

Every few blocks, she switched her powers on, listening to the thoughts around her. While she had never actually read Matt’s thoughts —she felt it was invasive; and before tonight, she thought he told her most things —she figured his would loud enough if she focused. If he could pick out her heartbeat, she should be able to pick out his thoughts. Right?

Luck was on her side when she picked up on a fight a few blocks closer to the docks. Matt’s thoughts, in fact, were not loud. But they were precise; pin pointing spots where to hit without killing them. Behind the thoughts of attacks, though, she heard him cursing himself. Telling himself to stop. That he couldn’t cross that line, no matter how angry he was.

The thought that invaded her head next, though, forced her to take off running to the docks. Whoever his opponent was, they had a trick up their sleeve that they were waiting to use. They were calculating the last possible second they could whip out a knife, knowing that even the smallest slice could incapacitate Matt with the poison that coated the blade. She couldn’t see the attacker, since Matt couldn’t either, but it didn’t matter.

As their thoughts got louder, she focused hard to pinpoint exactly where they were. The docks were full of empty containers and warehouses; the likelihood of her finding him before it was too late was diminishing. She skid to a stop when she got too close to the water, and looked around as she considered where to go. If she switched off the mind reading, she could alter the thoughts of everyone in the vicinity and confuse the attacker. But then she risked not knowing where Matt was. And it wouldn’t last long.

It was her only chance though. The attacker was getting closer to taking the blade out and she couldn’t let Matt get hurt because they had a stupid fight. Taking a deep breath, she focused for another moment, zeroing in on where they were. Matt couldn’t show her what he saw but the attacker could. A broken window, a sign —a sign; Bleakman’s Hauling.

The thoughts ceased then, and she took a deep breath. The thoughts of everyone in the area changed; just slightly. It was the same as before. Anyone being affected wouldn’t see anything different than what they were prior. But Matt’s attacker could no longer see him. They were just as blind as he was. She only had a few minutes before it would change back. With those moments, she snatched a metal pipe from the ground and took off towards the warehouse.

Hopefully this worked.

*****

He had felt his thoughts shift. Nobu’s guy was confused, violently slashing the air with a knife but they weren’t anywhere near him. Matt couldn’t see, but he could hear the knife getting closer as he took a moment, catching his breath. He was certain he had reopened the stitches she had given him, and his ribs were definitely cracked.

That shift returned, throwing Matt’s equilibrium off again. Nobu’s goon regained his composure, suddenly realizing where Matt was. He spun the knife in his hand, as another heartbeat entered the room. Matt focused on that, looking over his attacker’s shoulder as she raised the pipe and swung it into his head. The goon dropped to the ground, skull bashed in and bleeding.

Matt held his side, trying to not flinch from the pain he was in, as she dropped the pipe on the ground. She approached the body, kicking it with her boot rather unceremoniously.

“He’s dead,” she determined, though she didn’t seem overly concerned. “I didn’t think I hit him that hard.”

“He was a hard hit away from blunt force trauma,” he responded, voice hoarse. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You should have answered your phone,” she pointed out, looking up at him now. “You look like shit.”

“You need to go home.”

“We need to go home,” she corrected, giving him a dirty look. Her attention returned to the attacker, nudging his face with her shoe. “Who is this guy?”

Matt groaned, dropping to his knees, caving to the pain. She looked back at him, unsympathetic to his pain. Unzipping the hoodie, she tossed it at him, ordering him to take off the mask and put the jacket on. Then she bent down and snagged the knife that had fallen from guy’s hand.

“Neat. I’ll add this to the ‘shit I’ve stolen from criminals’ collection.”

He couldn’t help but weakly laugh as he followed her orders. “You have one of those?”

“Do you not?” She asked, looking over the guy’s body once more as she rooted through his pockets to find an ID. “I think there’s a lot about me you don’t actually know.”

“I don’t, no,” he shook his head, zipping up the hoodie. “And apparently.”

“We need to go home.”

He nodded in agreement, the air between them turning tense. “You saved me.”

She nodded, finally looking up as Matt attempted to stand. “Of course I saved you,” she said, standing up herself to approach him. “Whatever tonight was…we’ll deal with it. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you though. I’ll always save you.” She took his mask from his hand, stuffing it in her back pocket.

“You broke house arrest for me,” he continued, taking hold of her arm as she attempted to leave. She stopped, looking over her shoulder at him.

“Yep; hence why I’m trying to get us home.” She motioned to the door dramatically with her free hand.

Matt’s gaze was fiery, but he kept his hold on her arm. “I’m with you because you keep me guessing.”

“Excuse me?”

“You said earlier,” he explained, tugging her closer to him as he spoke. Every move was agony, but he needed to say this. “That you couldn’t imagine why else I’d be with you other than you can help me see. That’s not why I’m with you.” Matt reached up to cup her cheek, holding her there as he spoke. “I’m with you because you never do what I think you will. Look what you did tonight; I didn’t think you’d track me down.” There was a dry laugh as he brought himself back. “I’m with you because everything you do, you do because you know it’s right. I’m with you,” he whispered now, leaning in to rest his forehead against hers. “I’m with you because you remind me that there is good in this world. And I would die before I let that good be lost…I would die for you, if it meant the world got to see what you had to offer.”

He could taste the salt from her tears as she tried to hold them back. Matt wiped the stray one that escaped, closing his eyes as he held her in place for just a moment longer. Matt took a shaky breath, chest aching from the figurative heart ache and literal broken ribs.

“Please don’t die for me,” she whispered back, eyes shut as she touched his hand on her cheek.

“I can’t promise you that.”

“What can you promise me?” She asked, pulling away to look up at him.

“That I love you,” he offered, “And to talk about everything when we get home.”

She nodded some, wiping her eyes. “I’ll take it.”

———

Series Masterlist

———

Taglist (CLOSED): @thebisexual-disaster @chims-kookies @ferxaniti @heybabyshae @notalxx @gothicxbarbie @dark-night-sky-99 @blacxk-moony @celestialissues @pinkybee926 @bex-tk1 @jasontoddthezombie @killthebutt4fly @softieekayy @user897sblog @cbloodmarch @ammiddlechild @venusriver @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @yikes-buddy @buckyspetal @baconlover001 @flimsysquid @reh-llik @messagesinthesky @dreamypanda @happyfern2 @svft-cas @andiforgetaboutyoulongenoughh @deafeningnightcollection-things

[jaehyunnie77]

A follow up maybe or Jaehyun’s POV in ‘you’re the one’ when he realized he was in love with y/n too (or when he was starting to catch feelings) but still decided to try with Rose? Like the feelings he felt whenever he was with y/n, even when he was with Rose already, like whenever he sees her or something like that!

pairing: Jaehyun x fem!reader (feat. Rose)

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, mentions of sex, mention of food | enemies to ewb (enemies with benefits) to fwb to lovers!au, soulmate!au, college!au

word count: 3.9k

a/n: this one is angsty af i apologize lol. this takes place after the hiking trip and everything unfolding afterwards. i wanted to showcase what and how jaehyun felt during this whole time and eek, get the tissue boxes. If you're new here (hi lol), you can read this as a stand alone, but i highly recommend reading 'You're the One' first to understand certain points. enjoy! and anon, thank you for requesting this <3

Italicize are thoughts.

----

“What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?” Jaehyun randomly asks you as he takes a bite out of the shared Chinese takeout carton. You’re both sitting on the floor of your apartment after going through the visual board for your project.

“Why? Are you going to use it against me as blackmail?” you eye him suspiciously.

“Hm, I wasn’t, but thanks for giving me the idea.” He smiles. You lightly smack his arm in retaliation as he laughs deeply.

“Hmm.” You sit there and ponder through your memories.

Jaehyun looks at you and couldn’t help and admire your features. It’s been three weeks since the hiking trip you dragged him to and since then, he couldn’t shake off this new feeling towards you. He couldn’t stop seeing you in a different light and wanted to know more about you. He doesn’t know what it is, but all he knows is it’s because of you he’s feeling these emotions.

For a week straight, he admitted to himself just how beautiful you are. The way your smile blinds him, the way your eyes spark with passion, how your voice goes up a notch when you’re excited about something, and the way you just sit there with a bun, sweatpants, and a large shirt with a cute pout. He asks himself why he’s never realized it or maybe he has, but was dead set on making you his moral enemy.

“I can’t really think of one specific, but maybe when I was in the fifth grade and fell flat on my face in front of the boy I liked.” You finally say shrugging your shoulders. When you don’t get a response from Jaehyun, you look at him only to see a blank look on his face you can’t decipher.

“What?” you say.

Still Jaehyun wasn’t saying anything, but staring at you. You wave your hands in front of his face and he finally comes back down to Earth.

“Seriously? That’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened?” he deadpans.

“Yes, it’s nothing now, but at that age that was the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened.”

Jaehyun decides now is the perfect time to laugh at you and make light fun of you. You try to shut him up by pushing him and hitting him with a pillow. “Okay mister nothing embarrasses me because I own up to all of my faults.” He somehow finds it hilarious because he starts hitting your coffee table that you’re afraid he’s going to break it.

“Jaehyun stop.” You whine chuckling a little and hitting him again.

He grabs a hold of your hands before you come in contact with his arm. He turns to face you and he swears his heart skips a beat seeing how cutely embarrass you are. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. Lately, he doesn’t know anything he doing when he’s with you. Your eyes draw him in when he leans forward to kiss your soft lips. As always, he’s surprise you kiss him back with the same amount of softness.

Lately, your kisses are soft and not the usual hard open mouth and rush kiss. It’s more sensual and have more hidden messages behind it without realizing it. Jaehyun places a hand to the side of your face and admires how your kisses makes him feel. He softly lays you down to your carpet without breaking the kiss and continues to give little pecks here and there before making out again. That night, he decides to sleep over once again after a night of sex and talking about mundane things.

The next, Jaehyun wakes up before the morning sun creeps into your bedroom window. He rubs his eyes and turns his body to face yours on your side. You were hugging your pillow with a cute pout making him chuckle. He thinks you look beautiful like this without makeup, face relaxed, and messy hair, but of course, he will never tell you. He takes a mental image of this moment and takes in your features, your figure, your favorite lotion scent, and he can’t help but feel so damn lucky.

There was always something about you that makes him gravitates towards you and he knows he needs to figure it out and get down the core, but he doesn’t want to.

It dawns on him that he’s gotten too comfortable around you. Jeong Jaehyun does not do relationships and he isn’t the one to fall in love simply because he doesn’t believe in it. His parents divorced when he was a kid and his mother left right after. Since then, he vowed to himself he will never have a close connection with someone to spare him the pain.

Yet, he found himself breaking his promise for you. He would find himself smiling when he reads back on your texts, the pictures you’ve taken together, and he couldn’t stop thinking about how far you two have come. From destroying your sand ages ago to laying half-naked next to you.

Truth is, he is scared shitless about this new ordeal and doesn’t know what to do. He thinks he has feelings for you, but he doesn’t know what feelings are supposed to feel like. Is he even ready to settle down yet?

She deserves someone better than me. She’s too good for my own being, but why can’t I seem to let her go? He takes one last look at your sleeping figure before quietly getting out of bed. He must’ve not been quiet when he was getting ready when you stir awake.

“You’re leaving already?” you ask in your morning voice with a little pout.

“Yeah, I just remembered I have to help Johnny with his car.” He says not sparing you a look, knowing if he did he won’t be able to leave. He can sense that you know something is bothering him.

“Okay. Are we going to the arcade later so I can beat your high score?”

He sighs deeply knowing he’s going to regret this next part. He looks back at you and wishes he didn’t because you look so happy in this moment. He lets go of his sigh quietly, grabbing his shirt to put it on, and walking to your side of the bed. He moves a strand of hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek. You lean into his touch when he kisses your forehead. His lips linger for a moment before leaning down to capture your lips.

When he breaks the kiss, he whispers, “Yes.” He looks at you one more time before walking out of your bedroom and out of your apartment. And possibly out of your life.

Jaehyun knows what needs to happen and what he needs to do, so, he does what he always does best: hides away any real emotion, burying it deep within himself, and put on a façade for you and the world to see.

For an entire week straight, you would text him to hang out only for him to give you short replies and hopefully a hint to stop bothering him. He continuously argues with himself that this was the best thing to do for the both of you. He repeatedly tells himself that he doesn’t do relationships and if he’s around you, the more he wants one with only you.

This is stupid Jaehyun. I’m sure she doesn’t even have these complicated feelings for you either.

Jaehyun decides to forget about you and the best way to do that is going back to his old ways: partying and hooking up with girls.

It’s a Saturday night and the frat was throwing another party. Jaehyun had begun drinking hours before the party started and once he was on his god knows how many drinks in, he was starting to think of you and how he misses you. Johnny sees this and suggest playing a round of beer pong. An hour later after winning and losing the final game, he heads back to the kitchen. He feels his phone vibrate, reaching into his pocket for his phone, he sees your name. He couldn’t believe it.

Cutie Y/N: Hey I know it’s late but can you meet me at the park really quick?

Cutie Y/N: It’s important

Jaehyun: okay.

Right when he puts his phone away, he sees Rose walking into the kitchen with a friend. He had the biggest crush on her during freshman orientation and was so scared to talk to her. For the past four years, he’s never seen her around campus and thought she had moved schools, but now she’s here in front of him. He sees her look his way and smile at him. Oh how his heart jump.

Fuck it.

Jaehyun confidently walks over to where she stands and slyly says, “Can I get you a drink?”

Rose flirtatiously agrees and soon the pair starts to talk. He’s taken aback how easy it is to talk to her and found out they have so many things in common. Throughout their conversations, they’re both touchy and when they dance together, their bodies were stuck together, and damn was Jaehyun hooked on her.

“Come with me.” He whispers in her ear and lead her to his bedroom. Once the door closes, his lips are on hers and soon all clothes are off. When he was finally inside her, his mind briefly drifts back to you, but shake off the feeling focusing on Rose. There’s knocking at his door, but they ignore it enjoying the pleasure. Another knock and a rattle on the door handle.

“I know you’ve been ignoring me Jaehyun, but to stand me up for an hour is unacceptable. The least you can do is apologize and I need to tell you so-“

He looks at you wide eyes shock to see you standing there. You’re actually here at his door with a look of anger turn hurt. Rose squeals beneath him and hides herself, but in that moment he didn’t care about her being exposed. He only had eyes on you. When you turn away and slam the door, he swore he saw tears at the brim of your eyes. There was that feeling again in his chest he couldn’t pinpoint. He wanted to run to you and apologize, but all he could do is stay buried inside another girl and in shock. The mood was ruined and Jaehyun went to bed confused as fuck.

Deciding on that night alone and how well he and Rose connected, the next day he asks her to be his girlfriend. A week later, speculations and rumors of his relationship spread like the plaque throughout campus.

“Hey babe want to get ice cream?” Rose asks him when he picks her up after his class.

“Ooh yes that sounds amazing.” Jaehyun unconsciously drives them to a local ice cream parlor he used to go with you. When he sees the front of the parlor, memories of you both flash through his mind.

Stop. You’re with Rose Jaehyun!

They walk into the parlor hand in hand. Rose sees a couple of her friends and goes over to say hi, meanwhile, his eyes catches the sight of your beautiful smile. His legs carry him over to your table, eyes never failing to light up from seeing you laugh. He hasn’t seen you since that night you caught him in the middle of having sex with Rose. He knows he should talk to you, but he had been busy.

“Hey guys.” Jaehyun says timidly interrupting the moment. His gaze never leaving your face.

Everyone around the table is shock to see him given the fact he’s been MIA for weeks. He could hear the boys teasing him, but it all went into one ear and out the other. His body goes on autopilot and gives Mark a fist bump. The only one he cared about was hearing from you.

Before he could reply to Mark, Rose arrives by his side wrapping her arm around his. Jaehyun looks to her and give her a small smile before looking back at the table of his friends. “I guess this is the perfect time to announce something important.”

“What is it?” Johnny says looking between the two.

“You’ve probably heard about the rumors around school and I just want to say that it’s true. Rose and I are dating and –“

“And we’re soulmates!” she cuts him off smiling widely and tugging his arms tighter.

Everybody tells the new couple congratulations and invite them to sit with them. He thinks the universe is telling him something when he finds himself sitting across from you. After everyone’s orders come, he couldn’t help but notice you and Sicheng sharing your favorite banana split. That used to be your thing together. The feeling comes back and he knows he shouldn’t feel jealous because he’s with Rose now. The rest of the night, he tries to not look at you especially when you both keep accidentally hitting each other’s leg.

It’s a month into his relationship and even though he’s happy to be with Rose, he still couldn’t forget about you. In a repeating cycle like tonight, his mind wanders back to you. He wonders if you’ve been taking your mental breaks knowing you won’t stop until someone forces you to. He wonders if you’ve been eating and sleeping well. He wonders if you hate him again. He wonders why it’s so damn easy with you, but when it comes to Rose, he didn’t know what to do or say. For the life of him, he couldn’t open up to her like the way he has with you.

Nobody knew about this, but for an entire month he kept drafts on his phone things he would tell you; how his day went, what pranks the boys pulled, what movie he thinks you should watch, and what song and artist he recommends. These are things he should be telling his girlfriend, yet, after every draft, he ends his note with the same eight letters and three words.

I miss you.

Having enough thoughts about you, Jaehyun turns to his night stand to turn off the light when he notice what appears to be a small clear line on his fourth finger.

He gasp in shock, “It can’t be.” He’s heard stories of finding your connection with your soulmate and now he is experiencing it. It just confirms that he and Rose are indeed soulmates. He falls asleep that night excited for what the future holds for the couple. The next day, he goes over to Rose place and while they’re sitting on the couch, he holds her left hand and examines her fourth finger in particular. To his confusion, there was no line. He figures it would take time for the mark to show up, but even a week later, there was no sign of the line.

After agreeing on group date, Jaehyun swears he’s in a twilight zone. Seriously, he thinks the universe is trying to tell him something once again. When he and Rose walk up to the familiar restaurant, he remembers seeing you in your short black dress on a date with Jackson. As they sit down at the same table, he remembers the footsie game you played under the table. He looks at the hall leading to the restrooms and clearly remembers what took place in that single bathroom.

He won’t admit it to anyone, hell not even to himself, but when you let him fuck you raw and come inside you, something snapped in him. He swore he saw a future with you. When Mark suggests after dinner to go to the Han River, he remembers how he scared the shit out of you and almost knocking him out. He also remembers the sexual tension between you two and didn’t care if your friends saw him kiss you. He obviously remembers the car sex and the feeling of not wanting to let you go.

He also won’t admit the car sex felt different. After hooking up plenty of times, this one felt too intimate. Fucking raw and coming inside you once again, he didn’t want to let you go. Usually once you were finished, you would quickly get dressed and go back to bickering, but this time, he remembers the lingering touches and kisses. He remembers making out for what seemed like an eternity and even though he wanted to go another round, he didn’t mind it one bit because he had you in his arms.

Jesus, get your shit together Jaehyun.

No matter how many times he tries not to think of you and those memories while he was with Rose, he couldn’t help but admit how he misses you and everything about you.

----

“Babe did you hear what I said?” Rose asks him.

“Huh?” Jaehyun looks at his girlfriend after coming back to reality.

Rose lightly chuckles shaking her head, “You were zoning out again babe. You’re so cute.” She squishes his cheeks, “I asked if you’re still coming over after school?”

Jaehyun clears his throat, “Oh yes of course.” He gives her a small smile and bid their goodbyes before heading to their classes.

After Professor Choi told him about you and having to do the project by himself, he couldn’t believe it. He found himself angry at you for not giving him a heads up, but he also felt concern about you and if you’re okay. He needed to hear from you, but knowing himself, he won’t be the first to reach out. Mindlessly walking, he didn’t realize his feet takes him down the familiar streets you two used to walk through. That is how he finds himself in front of Lee’s Bookstore and talking to the adorable older couple.

As he walks out stun at what just took place, his phone buzzes in his pocket. It was Rose calling.

Shit.

“Hey babe, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot. Class was stressful and I needed time and it just slipped by me.” Jaehyun rants explaining himself.

“Jay, it’s okay. I was calling to let you know that I have cheer practice and won’t be able to be home on time.”

“Oh okay. I hope you have a good practice.” Jaehyun sincerely says as Rose tells him to have a good night and hangs up.

That night, he laid in bed thinking about you and the couple’s story. Their story was exactly his story with you. He remembers the nights you two shared the same bed. He remembers the pillow talks and little games you two used to play. He remembers you would dance and sing out of nowhere and he would join you. He remembers your smile and laugh whenever he made a joke or simply looking at you. He remembers the long night talks on the phone or texting each other all day if you didn’t see each other. He remembers every little thing about you.

He reflects on how Rose makes him feel and the memories the last month has given him, yet he painfully acknowledges she didn’t make him feel anything close to how you made him feel. He didn’t find himself craving for her touch, the sex was okay but nothing compared to when he did it with you. He didn’t find himself worrying if she’d break up with him, because he thought he would be fine. He didn’t find himself worrying about the visible line on her fourth finger like he should have. When they hang out, he finds himself zoning out most of the times just like earlier today. He hates himself for thinking being with Rose was a mistake because he was trying to forget about you.

This is so stupid. Rose is my soulmate. Not Y/N. Every new relationship has some hiccups in the beginning. Yeah, this is what this is.

Shaking his head, Jaehyun swipes his phone open and opens the gallery app. He doesn’t know why he’s looking at photos taken from the lake you dragged him to. He comes across the photo he secretly took of you overlooking the lake with a smile on your face. The sun was just coming up and hitting your skin beautifully. He scrolls more and looks at the selfies you took together a bit longer, then he sees it.

It's a photo of you holding out your left hand to make him stop taking photos of you. He zooms in focusing on your fourth finger and sees the clear line.

“It can’t be.” He zooms in closer making sure he isn’t seeing things, but it was clearly there. He looks at other photos, focusing on your left hand and it’s the same make as his. Jaehyun remembers what the couple told him earlier.

“Son, I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but soulmates signs usually show up at the same time or when someone is willing to let their soulmate go.” “… not all stories have the same signs. Sometimes when one person is really in love, their marks shows up quickly.”

His mind flashes back to the day you met at seven years old and hated each other out of the gates. His mind plays everything like a montage of you both growing up, but one memory sticks out in his mind. He remembers always looking at you from afar. During lunch in high school, he had the perfect view of where you sat with your friends. His eyes would always skim over to where you were and as hard as he tried to stop looking at you, your smile was what always brought him back.

In all of his most precious memories with you, your smile was always his favorite. All of these memories of your time together comes rushing back in waves; the one night you got super drunk and started telling him things you find annoying about him. Or the time you were walking in the late nights and you fell scraping your knees, he gave you a piggyback ride all the way to your place and cleaned up your knee. He remembered he stayed with you that whole night talking about mundane things. Another memory that comes to mind was when he stirred in his sleep and there you were hugging him like a koala bear. Your face buried in the crook of his neck your arms and legs wrapped around him.

His mind keeps replaying the older couple story repeatedly in his mind then it finally hits him. The mark showed up when he was thinking and missing you tremendously.

He never meant to sleep with you that night two months ago, it just happened. Both of you have tried to stop, but couldn’t because you were always magnetic to each other. As more memories and realization comes rushing back, he felt overwhelmed and decides to go down for fresh air where he sees Sicheng and Johnny talking.

After his heart to heart conversation with Sicheng and finally saying it aloud that it’s always been you, he hopes to the universe he wasn’t too late. He hopes he wasn’t too late in giving you the future you’ve always talked about and he hopes you’re in love with him.

The next morning couldn’t come any sooner.

He couldn’t wait to tell you he was in love with you.

[secretsivekept]

Your style is super cute. I love the way you draw Paulina. I would love to hear about the story you wrote for her

AWH thank you so much!!!

I originally came up with the idea when i was I THINK 13 or 14ish, i'm not sure

Essentially the story boiled down to this: Paulina and Danny get partnered for a class project, and then at some point (i can't remember why) danny has to leave for a hot sec and then Paulina decides to explore around the weird Fenton house, and gets zapped by the supposedly not-working ghost portal.

Also in the story Paulina put on the hazmat suit but thought it was gross AF and cut out a midriff for herself and was like "Yeah this will work"

(the irony that she cuts apart a hazmat suit that's supposed to keep you SAFE is not lost on me, though it was lost on me at the time -- current me now thinks that's hilarious and my young self was brilliant, so I had to doodle this gag)

anywho, so she gets zapped by the ghost portal and is all like "O SHIT" cuz clearly she did something wrong and she got hurt, but runs home before any of the fentons get home so she'll avoid trouble. When she gets home, though, that's when she realizes she's not exactly normal. In fact, her hair's white, her suit is inverse colors, and her eyes are green, and what REALLY gets her is that she looks like a FREAK!!!!

And Paulina has no idea what to do now, the fact that she's a Freak??? She's inconsolable!!

Now, did my 13 year old self know how to write character growth and progression? Nope, she was just a good guy from this point on cuz she realized that she was being mean to everyone else she considered "freaks" and realised they weren't so bad, after just one moment of introspection.

I also have this... vague? ish? Memory of an OC (...named Andy? Or Robert... legit no idea) who was a fellow student and finds out her secret, and helps her out and convinces her to use her powers for good.

Also!! I'm still kind of happy with the name I came up for her, her ghost form was called Yurei! Here's a drawing I did at the time I came up with the idea (and also excuse the fact I misspelled Yurei)

And just for shits and giggles:

[kendrixtermina]

Interesting details about the 3 houses cast (From dialogue in ‘Heroes’)

The first name Ferdinand’s father is ‘Ludwig’ and he is apparently an insufferable braggart who also said his own name alot

Before moving into her uncle’s castle, Anette spent her early childhood in a small, humble house in the Capital. Gilbert & his wife couldn’t afford domestic servants so she did the chores herself.

Mercedes’ father died in a “conflict in the empire”. Before he died, he taught her mom the secret recipe that Mercedes mentions in the Constance and Dedue supports. A bit of her fatalistic passive attitude early on comes from feeling that she couldn’t change much about her life while she and her mom were being mistreated at the Bartels’ home

Claude has a lot of fun with the mushroom poison.

Despite their student’s glowing opinions, Byleth isn’t actually all that confident about their professor-ing, which is probably not unexpected given how the job was suddenly dumped in their lap.

They’re somewhat uncertain about whether they have real connections with people beyond just the professional level. I guess that’s another parallel to Edelgard.

Someone observed that they look “more like a mercenary and less like a teacher” while they’re fighting.

Apparently their students described them as “a bit eccentric at times”

They seem to like/appreciate it when other ppl can pick up what they’re really feeling/thinking. (I really hope Jeralt knew that) 

 It’s considered rare for Claude and Dimitri to agree on anything

The sad thing is that the trio is noted to be quite effective when they cooperated. I guess we also saw this in Cindered Shadows

There is a hilarious sequence where Byleth is like, “This may call for drastic measures” and everyone starts looking at Claude and correctly assuming that he’s probably already cooking up some sort of crazy plan

 Ferdinand apparently likes the “refined way” that Edelgard swings her axe

Petra considers hunting one of the most important skills you can have, both because you acquire many crucial materials (like leather etc) and because it also hones a lot of skills. Bridgid is very green & plentiful, so most people do some degree of hunting and even the rulers are expected to know it. Someone remarks that it’s probably a culture that places emphasis on self-sufficiency. That’s an interesting way to think about it, especially if you think about Petra’s attitudes, how she approaches even this cobjectively crappy political hostage situation as an opportunity and has a very problem-solvy approach to things. I’d noted that, but I’d never connected it with the hunting thing; I thought it was just Petra being awesome, which it basically still is, but it adds a cool layer to consider how she got this way and how this may be her way to stay close to her homeland’s values even in exile.

“In Brigid, there is a phrase we say. A gray sky will be pierced by the sun. A raging tide will be leading to land. Beyond failure, success is waiting.” 

Hubert seemed to know that he ten elites fought against the godess even pre timeskip. 

He also sees Edelgard as one of the few ppl who really paid attention to him when he was younger -  I guess this goes with this understated complex he has about his looks & personality.

Edelgard likes to just lie around and relax, but only when she’s all alone. At least pre timeskip or pre holy-tomb scene she didn’t think like she could really be herself in the company of others. She does seem to put some deliberate thought into what image to project/embody

Dimitri seems to think that having a crest (and high status) makes it his duty to protect & take care of the people – I guess that’s another way in which he’s completely ruled by obligation. He gets characteristically intense about this. “My life was never mine to begin with, I guess I haven’t the right to throw it away”

the glorious “nice weather” exchange has already been posted. Edelgard (and Lysithea) are the first to clarify that they shouldn’t bring their grudges into this situation since they’re not in Fodlan atm.

Edelgard and Claude are beyond shook when AzureMoon!Dimitri actually agrees. Chill Dimitri is apparently not something they ever imagined. He is obviously the most changed in “his” route, with the other two its no less profound but a lot more subtle. 

Lysithea has an interest in botany (now I really want her to talk plants with Bernie )

Hilda: “I haven’t heard about there being a future me here. She’s probably busy relaxing on a beach or something…”

Mercie and Anette immediately reassured each other that their future selves are probably cute af. Aww

 This is probably unsurprising, but future!Dimitri is still very tormented by his less than stellar actions during and right after the timeskip

Small Dimitri is heartbreakingly surprised to hear that there’s any version of him that’s alive and on the throne, though he hides it because his friends (or at least Annie and Mercie) did not have such doubt

Edelgard decides from the get-go not to concern herself with the future version of her. I get the sense that she really wants to avoid the scenario where she allows her resolve about what she feels absolutely must be done to falter after meeting a regretful future version of herself; I really like this, I know some haters will probably spin this into something about her not caring about the consequences of her actions but it really circles back to how she’s philosophically all about self-determination & can’t let something like a future possibility determine what she does… nor can she back off a sacrifice meant for the greater good just because it might turn out poorly for her (which it does, just not in the CF timeline that this particular future version is from)

 Cut to the future versions who have contrasting ideas about what to do about their tiny selves. Claude thinks they should not risk causing any time paradoxa. Dimitri ponders the thought of warning his younger self (and past!Byleth). Edelgard doesn’t think it would make any difference at all, especially since they would each be showing their tiny self the timeline where they win.

Though I guess one think to consider here is probably that Dimitri would be the most surprised by a sucessful older version of himself

Claude eventuallly agrees, since they were each doing what they thought was best (Claude, too, is sort of uniquely situated to grasp this as the one who can part on good terms with each of the other two in their respective timelines) – though he’s hoping that the time crash will maybe send their younger selves in a different direction (in which you see that this is distinctly VW!Claude & thus a bit more hopeful)

 the others actually agree & it ends with a fun semi-friendly sparring match

 Edelgard wants to show past!Byleth how awesome she’s going to be in the future

it is very in line with my interpretation of her character that she would describe her own disproportional strenght as “hideous”

Claude’s lines are solid gold in this. Like he’s just being aggressive irrevent to bridge the obvious awkwardness “Go on, we’re old dining hall palls!”

This gets Lysithea wondering what might’ve happened if they’d actually graduated as planned. I mean I kind of respect that they DIDNT put in a golden ending but I guess if you want one you can imagine that they got one after returning from Askr I guess.

let’s just hope that “the timeline none of them experienced” doesn’t just turn out to be silver snow lol

[zukoshotleafjuice]

The funniest thing about june teasing katara and zuko about being a couple is that she just sees a pretty girl and an attractive guy, both looking almost the same age which immediately makes her go "you two must be a couple" and it just reminds me of zvtara shippers, you know what i mean? I'm convinced one of the reasons a lot of ppl ship them is bc of their looks. katara being the female protagonist and also a pretty, smart and powerful girl & zuko, despite not being the male protagonist, being the most attractive guy in the gaang. Boom, a "bomb ass ship". It is worth to recall that "people ship zutara bc they projected onto katara and had a crush on zuko". And if they say they don't ship them for that reason, then it's bc they read too much between the lines in every interaction they have. So, back to june, she didn't even care if they had chemistry or if they were friends or anything, she just straight up teased them about being a couple lmao. Because in all honesty zvtara can be an appealing ship in anyone's eyes but THAT'S IT, it doesn't go further than that. I can be testimony of that😅Before even watching the show i was like june, one day i saw a zk fanart and was like "wow aren't those zuko and katara from atla? They look so good, she's gorgeous and he's hot" i already knew kataang was endgame and that mai was zuko's love interest but seeing zuko and katara together was pleasing to my eyes. However once i watched the show for the first time (2 months ago i think) i realized there was really no romantic chemistry between them, nothing, literally nothing, i mean, i wasn't even waiting for the zvtara content in the show that made ppl ship them so much, i was actually very neutral about ships, i couldn't care less about them, but i still realized nothing was happenig between them and that it was obvious since book 1 ep 1 that kataang was endgame. Zuko and katara were two teenagers from opposite sides of a war that tried to kill each other multiple times and when zuko changed sides they developed a completely platonic relationship. As i said, people either ship them because it's an appealing and aesthetically pleasing ship (water/fire, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, the common red & blue ship) or they just love reading too much between the lines, OR BOTH, because they were so thirsty about it they ended up convincing themselves there was romantic tension between them, that they liked each other and that zvtara was scrapped when it was never planned in the first place. Not to mention the reasons why they claim zvtara should've been endgame are based only on symbolism and things they have in common that are just so ??? Random. e.g. (i saw these on a post on facebook and the comment section was hilarious, it was full of ppl being sarcastic about it & making fun of it) saying they should've been canon bc:

1. "They both lost their mothers at a young age" (?)

2. "katara was good but had rage in her heart and zuko was bad but had good in his heart so it was like yin and yang, and that was the main purpose/topic of the show" (?)

3. "they both had alter egos (painted lady and blue spirit)" (???) this one sounds like saying maiko was canon bc zuko worked in a tea shop and mai worked in a flower shop😂

4. "Zuko was the only one who supported katara in taking revenge on her mom's assassin" (?) if you ask me, that just proves zuko is not right for katara, he led her to do something she was gonna regret later (not trying to hate on zuko, i love him, and since i love him i acknowledge his flaws. I understand why he thought it was the best thing to do, he's an impulsive and resentful boy (he would've done the same if it was his mom) and he noticed how thirsty katara was for revenge, ofc he wanted to help her + he wanted her to accept him and thought it was the right thing to do in order to gain her trust, but it wasn't) unlike zuko, aang tried to make katara come to her senses and do the thing that was best for her: forgive and let go, and it was basically what she did at the end. She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.

5. and the most ridiculous one, "they both saved each other's lives in the final agni kai"(???????) and the funniest part is that it was followed by "WHAT MORE PROOFS DO YOU WANT???". Honestly wtf did ppl expect? Did they expect zuko to stand there and watch katara die? Did they expect katara to just stand there and watch zuko lay on the floor & die? And this has been said a million times and i am going to join and say it once again: zuko would've done that for ANYONE from the gaang, he would've done the same for toph, sokka, suki and aang. Because he learned to care about them. As for katara, she would've done that for anyone too wtf she healed aang once too and even brought him back to life. (I wouldn't be surprised if zk shippers used that as a parallel for romantic zvtara proof bc they're just like that💀)

There were more "reasons" but they're just so stupid and taken out of context like "they care for each other" & "katara was the one who encouraged him to talk to his uncle" like yeah that's what friends do. Basically all zvtara shippers do is REACH.

Also, i just can't see it happening. I like the enemies to lovers trope, maybe if the writers really intended to make it canon, i would have been down for the ship, it would've been interesting to see how it developed, but,, they didn't, and later i came to the realization that if it would've really happened, it would've been so... weird. Time to bring up the "colonized and colonizer ship" and how some ppl feel uncomfortable about it. Besides the fact that a relationship between zuko and katara wouldn't have worked (they're incompatible af, katara is a girl with a strong character and zuko is a guy with anger issues that takes everything personal, they'd be at each other's throats 99% of the time) it's just weird to think that katara would choose to marry a man from the fire nation, the nation that caused a big war that traumatized her, the nation that took her mother away from her. Imagine katara ruling along with zuko a nation she despised for years. Fire lady katara doesn't sit right with me, and i'm sure it doesn't sit right with a lot of ppl as well. I don't see katara doing that, and yes, i know she forgave zuko, but still, she would've never done that 🤦🏽‍♀️ i think it would've been so OOC tbh.

Another thing i laugh my ass off at is when they say "zuko should've chosen katara instead of mai" as if they were ever in a relationship for zuko to say "ok imma choose katara i wanna be with her". As if katara was EVER an option for him. They never showed interest in each other, what's not clicking?????? And zuko only had eyes for mai, not to mention that despite zuko and mai had a rough relationship, no girl would've dealed with zuko's bs better than mai. Can you imagine katara dealing with zuko blowing up over everything? Because i can't. Also people saying things like "zuko deserves someone who is always there for him and listens to him" (and ofc they're talking about katara) like, ok, you hate that katara is aang's "therapist" but you want her to be zuko's therapist. Logic? Where? And I do remember mai being a supportive gf and trying to cheer him up multiple times. Did they watch the same show as me?

Zvtarians try to play the victims about how they were "robbed" bc some voice actors shipped them and from what i've read people who worked for the show suggested to go for zk, but that's stupid, it doesn't count as "they planned it but scrapped it, we were robbed". The only word that counts are the creators' voice and they have stated they were always rooting for kataang, so no, you were not robbed.

People are just so in love with the idea of zuko and katara together they really convinced themselves it was likely to happen. Honestly zvtara it's a fine ship as fanon but ppl ruined it for me and what i hate the most is when they ship it and hate on aang and mai at the same time and make them look SO bad to invalidate kataang and maiko. Saying aang is abusive and mai is toxic is complete ✨bullshit✨ and lastly, it's ridiculous when they say the creators were cowards for not making it canon. They're cowards for not fulfilling your greatest childhood wish? Something they never planned? It is THEIR show. If you hate sm how things turned out then quit atla once and for all and go find another show that you know is gonna give you what you expect,,, it's tiring that they've been crying about it for 15 yrs , like, i joined the fandom recently but i can imagine how tired old atla fans must be of this.

OK so I have a lot of thoughts about this and firstly,,,anon I appreciate the dedication that it took for you to write  this, and I agree with many of your points. However, the attitude I have on this blog towards Avatar ships is far more neutral than what you’re saying.

Ultimately, romance is not and never was the focus of Avatar. Romantic development was always secondary or tertiary plot, and the entire show was far more focused on platonic relationship development. My attitude towards shippers on here - including Zutara shippers - is that people can ship what they want, as long as they’re respectful of each other and of the other characters that “interfere” with their ship. End of the day, shipping is irrelevant to the core of the show. 

People shipping something because they find it aesthetically appealing is honestly,,,fine. Personally, I think it’s reductionist, but I don’t care if you do because everyone has the right to enjoy media however they want to. 

That being said, we absolutely should call out racist or problematic tropes that we see, including ‘fire lady katara”. I also agree that it’s upsetting when people bash other characters in order to further their ship, as much of the bashing is also pretty racist and/or misogynistic. Calling that out, however, is separate from calling out every single person who happens to enjoy certain ships. 

“She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.”

I understand where you’re coming from, but I honestly disagree with this take. Both Aang and Zuko were approaching the situations from their own life experiences, but Katara didn’t do what either of the boys wanted. She chose her own path, by both sparing Yon Rha’s life but also refusing to forgive him. The episode is about Katara and her personal trauma and its focus should not be on her relationships with either Zuko or Aang. 

When I make posts such as this, it’s less about hating Z*tara and more about how this fandom focuses all its attention on romance and shipping, to the point where if you acknowledge a relationship’s importance it’s assumed you pair the two romantically. I don’t read Zuko and Katara’s relationship as romantic (for reasons that it would take too long to explain here), but their relationship development is extremely important, the two of them share tons of parallels and the final Agni Kai marks the culmination of both of their character arcs. Yes, Zuko would have taken the lightning for any of the characters, but it’s thematically important that it was Katara. None of this inherently means it’s romantic, but refusing to acknowledge the significance of the relationship between them is equally reductionist. 

This isn’t an attack on you, anon, and you’re 100% allowed to have negative feelings about a ship. But at the end of the day, it’s not worth getting this worked up over. If I were you I’d focus more on creating/consuming content for a ship you like than bashing ships you don’t!

[tempestaurora]

the marvel cinematic universe fic rec post

I put some effort into this, let me tell you. The following post contains my favourite fics from the past few months, with many different relationships at the forefront. I’ve even recommended more fics I love from some authors, in case you like their work. Any marked with a * are my absolute faves.

If you see your name here and like your tumblr to be tagged, let me know!

Uncle Steve's Fix-it Freelance Gig (and friends)*  by whowhotellsyourstory

SERIES. A sweet and heartfelt endgame fix it series, in which Morgan Stark asks her Uncle Steve to help bring her father back, and he just can’t say no to her.

Kill Box by Ranni

In which Clint Barton is stuck in an electricity-themed torture cycle for days on end. Heart-wrenching and beautifully written.

Allston Christmas by Gruoch

Incredibly funny fic in which Tony and Rhodey move Peter into his new apartment in Boston.

Tomorrow is another day* by ladynerdynerd @ladynerdynerd

SERIES. A soft and loving look into the life of Tony Stark after the events of Endgame. I recommend the whole series wholeheartedly.

Other fics by this writer: A Tale of Sons and Iron 

Love in Ones and Zeros by forensicleaf

A boy and a bot bond throughout the years. The most beautiful story about DUM-E ever written.

Project: Get Bucky Barnes a Dog* by ruxian

Bucky Barnes does not want a dog. Sam Wilson thinks otherwise. This is a wonderful, soft fic, about a man and his therapy dog.

Impression, Sunrise* by ciaconnaa* @ciaconnaa

Soft and warm and funny. Post-Endgame, Peter and Morgan grow together.

Other fics by this writer: a very, merry unbirthday | Spidey of the Nine-Nine series* | Kiss My Ass*

vouchsafe by sagemb @3wworms

Absolutely hilarious. Tony tries to write Peter’s college recommendation letter.

Other fics by this writer: the house of my father and son

No More Shame* by thepinupchemist

A very sweet fic in which Billy Kaplan helps Bucky Barnes find his way.

Everything, All At Once by ironfamjam

The soulmate au where Tony and Peter see each other in their dreams, but can’t remember it when they wake up. So wonderful I can’t explain.

It's love, this time it's love, my foolish heart by FriendLey

In which Pepper works at an art gallery and Tony keeps buying ugly paintings off her. Genuinely fantastic, absolutely loved it.

Other fics by this writer: Cat-Vengers | Afternoon Snack

Till Forever by seekrest @seek-rest

Super cute short fic about Peter and MJ and a proposal.

Sunlight* by ArdenSkyeHolmes221

Peter struggles reintegrating in his own life after his dad lived five years without him. This one made me feel things, guys.

Independence Day Get-Aways by candlesneedflame @dumbbitchnumberone

It’s the 4th of July, and vigilantes and superheroes alike are abandoning New York like rats from a sinking ship. Peter has no idea why. Very, very good, and then it hit me in the feels at the end.

Other fics by this writer: No Cops at Pride Just Spider-Man

topsy turvy by iron_spider @iron--spider

In which, uh, Peter is buried alive. It’s a gooden though! Like all their fics!

Other fics by this writer: we have ten seconds | this isn’t a game | Stark’s Home for Wayward Animals*

i'll find you in the drift* by tempestaurora* (uh, me)

Tony, Peter and the Pacific Rim AU you really should try out. Giant mechs vs giant aliens, and a lot of heartfelt conversations.

Other fics by this writer me: no cops at pride, just spiderman* | the conspiracy kids series*

i'll make the world safe and sound for you by zipadeea

Tony’s time in Afghanistan, based on my hydra’s not a home series. An incredible fic, super honoured that it was written for my series.

forty miles by peterstank

Cute af. Morgan is sick and Peter comes to lend a hand.

Avengers Vandal by awesomesockes and whumphoarder

Fourteen dicks were spray painted across thirteen cars and an Iron Man suit. Clint Barton gets the blame. A ‘cockumentary’ by Ned Leeds and Peter Parker. A fantastic American Vandal parody you all need to read.

part by part by lazywriter7

Heartbreaking and wonderful and beautiful. A story about Nebula and a story about love.

Hush (For It Is Dark) by losingmymindtonight @losingmymindtonight

Tony Stark, lullaby extraordinare. So incredibly soft.

Hot Ones: Spider-Man in the Hot Seat by Jenniboo311

A Hot Ones interview with Spider-Man. Better than the actual thing. 

timshel* by justanotherblond

SERIES. Peter is Bucky’s son, and he is raised to be a Hydra agent. This is how that goes. A beautiful, BEAUTIFUL series about love and fathers and sons and being hollow shells of people, with so much inside that’s desperate to come out.I absolutely adore this series.

t-shirts by KiwisAndTea

SERIES. A collection of one shots about Peter’s favourite t-shirts.

tony stark wanting to die but it's 10 minutes long by jophieso

The Tower’s security footage is leaked, and instead of finding anything classified, the internet just makes compilations of Tony Stark, staring into the camera with dead eyes like he’s on The Office. A true gift to the fandom.

the stars the moon they have all been blown out (you left me in the dark)* by madasthesea @madasthesea

Tony inhales a drug that makes him go blind... and deaf... and mute... and Peter’s going to save him. I mean, hoo boy you knew this one would be here. A++++

Damage Control by PechoraFlow

An incredible fic set after the Coney Island scene in Homecoming. What if Peter isn’t as unscathed as he thought he was?

Hawks Are Supposed To Eat Spiders by robin_writes

Clint, Peter, and the vents. Highkey recommend.

[jbbuckybarnes]

PR Stunt

Desc: Fake Dating AU. Celebrity AU. After pity posts for Sebastian skyrocketing, you two being seen together as friends a lot and with a big movie coming up, his management decides to pair you two for a PR stunt. You both agree, pranking the public seems fun and getting rid of pity tweets seems convenient. Pairing: Sebastian x Reader Warning: It’s not that good and one of my last real people fiction pieces I have left. Not beta read.

M A S T E R L I S T

+Pop Magazine - Articles: +Hot actors that are still on the market!+

*@lancebastian: Someone give this man a family!* *@stanfanfam: I feel so bad for him, he still isn’t with a woman or trying to build a family.* *@aliburger: Poor boy looks so alone. I’m volunteering!* _______ +Pop Magazine - Candids: +Sebastian Stan seen with his friend Y/N Y/LN in Manhattan, New York+

*@seabassbaby: I know they’re just friends but they’d make a cute couple.* *@lancebastian: Get her, Stan!* *@vanillaiceice: She’s cute af.* ________ “People are pitying you so much, it’s insane. What is so wrong with being single at your age?” you looked up from your phone at Sebastian sitting on the other side of the couch. “They’re just projecting their desires onto this.” he shrugged without looking up from his phone. “How does that not annoy you to some degree? I read it and get irritated by it.” you chuckled. “Sometimes I do, but at the end of the day it’s so unimportant.” now he looked up. “Yeah, but doesn’t that suck energy out of you to some level?” you two never talked about this specifically. “A bit.” another shrug with a small pout. “Well, let’s stop talking about that then. When’s press coming up?” you tried to change the topic. He looked at you for a second with a confused face before answering, “I think in two weeks.” “No, brunch meetings for weeks again.” you pouted like a child and got a smile back from him. “Poor baby.” he played into it and laughed. “You know they keep me sane.” you answered chuckling. “I know. I promise we’ll eat like three pizzas in one day when I’m back again, chaotic mess.” you looked at him offended. “I’m just telling the truth.” he held his arms up and grinned. “Ar-” you were interrupted by someone calling him and went back to checking your socials. You had a decent following and were friends with a few photographers, which gave you the opportunity to try yourself as a model and influencer. One of you photography friends is also how you two met and as soon as you two found your love for New York brunch meetings the friendship was sealed. “With Y/N?” you looked up at the mention of your name and saw him raise a brow. “Okay, yeah. Good, tomorrow at 11am. See ya.” he ended the call and finally saw your confused face. “Guess we have a meeting at 11am tomorrow and they also want you there.” his hand went through his hair and he exhaled a bit exhausted. “Why that?” you weren’t with his management or something. “She didn’t tell me. Maybe they want to sign you?” he was just as clueless as you and sat back down on the couch and you sat up. “That would be...sudden?” you said even more confused. “I feel like there’s something more to that.” his eyes narrowed. You shrugged taking your phone again, “We’ll find out I guess.”

___________ “We know you both don’t like paparazzi but this could benefit all of us and would be over after a few weeks.” the woman ended her little idea. “Wait, you want us to do a PR stunt, did I understand that right?” you said it out loud. A serious nod came back and a sigh from you. “Can’t believe I’m saying this but I think that would be hilarious outside of the paparazzi stuff.” he snorted beside you. “Excuse me, what?” you turned towards him and got a shrug back. “So...would you be on board?” the lady asked again. You let your head sink onto your arms on the table with an, “I guess.” You both left the office after you got handed a contract to go through to sign with the management and the comment, “I hate being friends with you.” “Did you mean being in a relationship?” he joked and got a stern look back. “Don’t take it too far, Stan!” you warned him. “Won’t. Promise.” he said with that boyish smile that guaranteed for nothing. “Idiot.” you muttered while walking out of the building onto the busy street. A hand was reaching for yours and you looked up confused. “What? Need to lay down the foundation for what’s about to go down.” he clearly loved the idea to mess around with you and the public for a while. “Dork.” a smile finally found its way onto your face and you shook your head. You didn’t mind holding hands with your other friends, so this wasn’t the problem. You weren’t so sure about the rest of what was about to happen in the upcoming weeks. “You love it.” he said nudging you lightly.

“Only if I get some good pictures for my Instagram and Twitter.” you chuckled. “I’m sure there’s gonna be some of your beloved photoshootings.” he grinned. “You’re gonna be an Instagram boyfriend, don’t you forget about that part of it.” you grinned back. “Oh god.” he had the realization hit him. “Yeah, didn’t think through that I might get back at you, huh?” you laughed.

“Lunch date?” he looked down at you after you both were finished with laughing and had walked for a block. “As long as I don’t need to play honeymoon phase love, yeah.” you bit your lip to stop the laugh that was making its way through your body. “Don’t worry, I think the eating each other alive part is one or two weeks in.” he wheezed and held the door to one of your favorite places open. “It’s gonna be hella obvious that it’s a stunt.” you pointed out. “That’s why I agreed. Why not have some fun and confuse people for a bit.” there was that boyish smile again. “Like that whole Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello thing.” you shuddered. That was obviously a stunt but there was that part where everyone kinda thought it might be true and they just wanted to get the extra publicity. “I have no idea what you’re talking about but I guess my answer would be yes.” he said before turning to the waitress that just arrived at your table. ___________ +Pop Magazine - Candids: Sebastian Stan seen having a lunch date and holding hands with Y/N Y/L/N*+ *@bellastann: I feel like our dreams start to manifest stanfam!* *@lancebastian: Not entirely sold, holding hands ain’t that special. They are friends for months now.* *@evanstackiee: Yeees! (Y/L/N)stan is real!!!* ____________ Your contract was signed, your game plan was well organized. There were appointments and activities planned out, what to do at which one and the paparazzi would be there for some of them. You kinda cringed when you looked at the little calendar in front of you but you also were about to have some fun with tricking the general public. “Just an insanely big acting exercise, right?” you looked beside you to see him read through the stuff too. “Uuh, yeah.” he said concentrated on reading. You were both extremely open with each other and rarely had any miscommunication. So kissing in public without starting friendship problems wouldn’t be so hard, but you still had a weird feeling about it. Not fear, just a feeling.

__________ The first thing you did was pretty mellow. Attending a small local event together. You did things like this before but this time you’d have to cuddle up a bit here and there and make a few Instagram Stories. “You comfortable?” he smiled down at you holding your body close to his arm. “You’re 6 foot and fit, I think there is no way in hell anyone would think this isn’t comfortable.” you gave a sweet grin up at him. “For a model you’re pretty good at this.” he joked and you poked him into his waist. “Hey!” he laughed. “You act like I wasn’t a drama kid in school. I might be good-looking but I’m also a nerd. You should know that best...space nerd.” you chuckled. “Stop calling me out like that or I’ll make you talk to that dude you find annoying over there.” he pointed at a man that had bombarded you with his boring business ideas months ago. “Don’t you dare, Stan!” you looked offended. “You wanna sit down with some wine then, madame?” he said in a posh accent. “Of course, it is incredibly instagramable.” you answered in the same way. A boomerang of your drinks with each other tagged in it and two glasses of wine later you officially had glued yourself to him. He had a very comforting vibe about him and you clearly helped with his anxious moments. A kiss was planted onto your temple and a black and white filter put on top of it. Followed by a funny selfie and a picture of your empty wine glasses. Shortly after you already left the party under the flickering lights of a handful of paparazzi. Holding hands and very close together. __________ +Pop Magazine - Gossip: Are Sebastian Stan and his ‘best friend’ dating?+ *@stanfanfam: Cause of death: That temple kiss.* *@vanillaiceice: Damn, is it the late 2000s? Seb leaving a party with a girl? Damn!* *@evanstackiee: For me it’s confirmed.* *@seabassbaby: It looks kinda staged but if it’s not I’m super happy for him!* __________ The second little thing on the list was a photoshooting together. Since you both had modelled for magazines before and with other models you were kinda in your element. It was for a mid-sized fashion magazine that published every month and you two were having fun all over the rented AirBnB. Some expensive yoga pants with a knitted oversized sweater and boots was the first thing you needed to wear for a scene depicting to come home. Falling into each other's arms multiple times definitely made you laugh because of the dumb faces he made. The next outfit was a sleeping outfit. Silk shorts and an airy white cropped shirt. Your socks were pink and had donuts on it. “Can I have them?” you gave them puppy eyes and the team laughed. Modelling while laying was hard. You needed to look realistic but also show of what you were wearing. Combined with a giant baby blowing air into your ear ended in him being pinched by you. He was clearly not prepared to see you in the third outfit. Lacey underwear and an open button-down mens shirt. You could literally see his brain work and giggled “C’mon, get it together.” He was wearing briefs and a white shirt, needing to embrace you from behind while you pretended to make scrambled eggs. “My eggs are definitely scrambled after this.” he whispered and you couldn’t hold back the genuine laugh, ending up in some good pictures. The last two outfits were a bit more editorial but still wearable and the pictures were taken outside. “Well, that wasn’t bad.” you said to him as you two walked out after changing back into your clothing. “For YOU.” he answered. “Poor baby, needed to see his friend in underwear.” you made fun of him. “Yo, it’s a different thing if I see an Instagram picture or the live version.” he defended himself. “Clearly...don’t you dare fall for me, dork.” you joked and he huffed. The walk back was silent but he looked down at you from time to time. You just couldn’t see his reaction every time he did. __________ +Pop Magazine - News: Sebastian Stan & Y/N Y/L/N modelling together. Check out these pictures!+ *@lancebastian: Damn, so this is really a thing, huh? Holy, that’s cute.* *@evanstackiee: Can they adopt me?* *@bellastann: That kitchen picture sent me into cardiac arrest!* _________ By now you were trained at sending each other stolen glances. No matter if you just needed to go to your management or when you had brunch together. But for the last three days he was in LA for the press junket of his new movie. There was this weird feeling again. It felt so close to fear but it wasn't fear. You couldn’t quite pinpoint it. *God, I’m way too used to being around you now.* *You miss not freezing to death in any given moment, admit it!* *No, real talk, I miss you.* *Realtalk: I miss you too...but admit it’s the freezing!* *D O R K !* You had taken a flight to LA the day after because an award show was next on your list. You were ten times more nervous for the dress sitting right than the man on your side. You also weren’t used to hair and makeup. You were an Instagram model, this was a luxury at experimental shoots. “You’d think I can smile on command and not look like shit...but I can’t.” you said to him before stepping onto the red carpet an hour later. “You’re looking good, stop worrying.” he said in his usual calming tone before gently pulling you forward. 10 minutes later the torture to your eyes was done and there were interviews. “What do you have to say about the rumors about your relationship status?” you were asked. “That people should care more about their life than mine...oh, and that he’s the best human being on the planet. Doesn’t matter in which way we are connected.” Sitting down at an award show with your hand being held was not were you thought you’d end up when you agreed to this but why not make memories? Your head naturally landed on his shoulder after a while. You really had missed him being in close proximity for those 4 days. His thumb softly wandered over the back of your hand. “What would you do if I’d win something?” he asked in a low voice. “Jump you?” your head went up again to see his eyes wandering over your face. “In a happy kinda way, I assume.” he had a lopsided smile on his face. “You’re thinking about that photoshoot again, huh? Literally a teenager.” you joked but saw his eyes wander to your lips for a bit too long before he concentrated on the host again. For the rest of the evening your mind went in circles about him playing that or being genuinely interested in you in that way.

__________ +Pop Magazine - Gossip: Mysterious answer to relationship question about (Y/L/N)stan+ *@vanillaiceice: They are boning, come ON!* *@evanstackiee: Look at how happy she is while she says it.* *@seabassbaby: Gosh, just say it!* __________ Today was the day you weren’t really prepared for. He had an off day from press and you were still in LA. Your plan was going to the beach and getting photographed. Well, it wasn’t your plan. It was the plan made for you. “I hate swimming in the ocean!” you mumbled. “Hey, it’s gonna be fine. You have two excuses to grab onto me, right?” he chuckled while watching you undress and revealing your red bikini. You both laid in the sun for a while, talking about his press junket and the social media reactions to this. “Wanna get wet?” you opened your eyes to a child in a man’s body wiggling his eyebrows. You punched his chest with a laugh and let him pull you up with him. Hand in hand you made your way into the ocean rather slowly, “And you didn’t want to admit that you freeze to death without me.” he chuckled. He got impatient and just grabbed your waist and jumped backwards into deeper water. After a squeak from your side and your nails clawing into his back a little bit too harshly, you got used to it. “Look. It’s fine.” he put some hair strands out of your face with his free hand. “I still hate the ocean.” you pouted, trying to overplay how fast your heart was suddenly beating. Oh hell no, you were not just slowly falling for your best friend...please? “I get that.” he put his hand onto your lower back and you put your legs around his hips. “You’re my floatie.” you giggled putting your head into the crook of his neck. “And you are...I can only assume a freezing rock.” you both chuckled.

Your head went up again to see a big grin on his face, “Fuck you.” “You love it.” he said like usual but this time you slowly nodded with a serious face and his eyes widened enough for you to notice. “Wait, I didn’t…” you exhaled deeply with attentive eyes on you. “I feel like we should just stop this. I don’t want to see this friendship break apart just because my body thinks close proximity is a good reason to send hormones out.” you got out of your system. “That’s an odd way of saying that you’re having a crush on me.” he smiled and put his other arm around you. “Yeah, well, I don’t wanna ruin this.” your eyes went down, you rarely made yourself this vulnerable. “You already did by, to say it in your nerdy words, making my body think it’s a good idea to send out hormones because we are in close proximity.” he answered with a nervous chuckle, hand going through his hair.

Your eyes met his again, “I stopped acting the moment it started, Y/N.” “Well, um, it took me till about approximately 5 minutes ago to realize that this odd feeling I have isn’t some suppressed fear.” you made fun of yourself to make the situation less awkward. “Wanna give them what they want?” his head nudged towards the beach with a smirk. “Do you mean give you what you want?” you joked and he remembered where he heard that before. “I hate being friends with you,” he bit his lip, “I’d much rather call you my girlfriend.” The reference made you melt, he remembered that dumb little conversation from two weeks ago. Your hands went from his shoulders to his head and his free hand pulled your head closer before your lips met. You didn’t care about the camera clicks in the background, you only cared about finally making out with the man that made you love brunch dates so much. It felt like an hour before you broke apart a little. Steel blue eyes were staring right into your soul and the most calming voice in the world said “I love you.” “I hope you don’t say that while thinking of me in underwear.” you joked. “Nah, don’t need to. You’re grabbing onto me in a bikini.” he said with his hands wandering down your body and a giant smirk on his face. “I love you too, dork.” ___________ +Pop Magazine - News: (Y/L/N)stan confirmed! Couple seen kissing at the beach.+ *@vanillaiceice: I’ll fistfight anyone that hates on her!* *@evanstackiee: Look at those SMILES.* *@seabassbaby: Maybe I’m crying.* *@lancebastian: She makes him happyyy.* *@bellastann: I think this gave me diabetes.* *@stanfanfam: Make babies! lol* *@Y/N: Gosh, @imsebastianstan we have heart eyes galore in these. Might need to go and get that checked out.* *@imsebastianstan: @Y/N, yeah, heard of that new disease called love. It’s attacking every part of your body and mind!* *@seabassbaby: For real...ADOPT ME!* _____________

M A S T E R L I S T

[canumoveurseatup-no]

HC: Shy/Innocent Black!Reader roasting the team

Requested by- @chrisemi

 AN: Okay so like I'm not good with roasts because I stay to myself and don't really have friends to roast but I tried my best

-Okay so I feel like you'd be new and have no idea what you were getting yourself into.

-After a few weeks, you still didn't talk much because you were still new and just wanted to get a feel for everyone.

-You caught onto how they all just had jokes about each other and would roast the hell out of each other and it was hilarious.

-They thought you didn't like them but that's not the case. You were just quiet and innocent.

-Right?

-Nah.

-One day while you all were chilling in the common area Tony came in the door saying, "We have a problem"

-Without thinking you came out of your mouth with, "yeah, we do too, it just walked in," 

-Natasha and Wanda snorted while everyone else just stared at you, you didn't say much let alone participate in their roast wars

-"Did... did she just come for me?,"

-The second time you got everyone off guard was when you all were being briefed on a mission and Steve said, "a thought just crossed my mind"

-You hiccupped with laughter and said "Must have been a long and lonely journey"

-You've never seen Steve look so offended but he was lowkey glad you were getting used to everyone and comfortable enough to joke with them

-Bucky slapped the table while laughing and Sam tried not to let Steve see him give you a thumbs up.

-One morning you were rushing to get ready and were hurriedly eating your breakfast and Clint asked you where you were going

-You started looking around frantically and looked in your bowl of cereal, frowning

-"What are you looking for?'

-"Found it!," you said excitedly

-"Found what?" your actions had thrown Clint for a loop

-"Your nose in my business, figured you might want it back," you booped his nose and walked away leaving the team wide eyed,

-Sam pointed at Clint and laughed like a child

-"She's been hanging around us too much"

-One afternoon you were all training together and Bucky was having a rather long day and wasn't in the best of moods

-"Listen here, Bogie,"

-"It's Bucky"

-"Listen here, Barry. Acting like a prick won't make yours bigger,"

-You could hear the ooo's coming from all around the gym

-No one was expected this from you but it was great

-For the first month you were there you wouldn't really speak to them other than missions or a hello in the morning.

-They liked it though, it helped you settle into the team better

-There was a mission that called for Loki's help and you've met him a few times in your short time with the team

-He came up with plan that was actually good and not a death wish

-"Oh God, you sound reasonable... time to up my medication" you exaggerated

-Sam was talking shit one day on the quinjet you just kept squinting at his stupidity, he caught you and asked if there was anything on his face or something

-"Actually yes.. wipe your mouth," you pointed to his mouth

-He did and asked if it was gone

-"There's still a little there"

-"Well what is it?" he wiped harder

-"Just a tiny bit of bullshit" you sweetly smiled and his face dropped

-You walked into the kitchen one night and the guys were having a conversation about trying to hook Steve up with someone from finance.

-"Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken's butt and wait" you grabbed your drink from the fridge and winked at the men

-Nat was yapping absolute nonsense one day and it was kind of entertaining

-You patted her head like a puppy and smiled

-"I'm glad to see you're not letting education get in the way of your ignorance,"

-Peter talks a lot. Like.. A LOT

-And while you enjoyed his company, one day you just couldn't take it!

-You told him to stand up and he did

-You raised his arms, looking under them, looking behind the neck of his shirt and you playfully got frustrated.

-"I can't find it!!!," you whined.

-"Y/N what are you looking for?," Tony asked

-"His off button!,"

-Scott was comic relief and while he was hilarious, sometimes you feel like he talks just to hear himself talk,

-"Seriously? You were the sperm that won?,"

-"HEEEY!,"

-Thor and Loki were arguing like typical brothers but they were childish af with it

-"YYYY/NNNN! Thor called me stupid!"

-"You're not stupid, Loki-"

-"Ha! told you,"

-" -You just have bad luck with thinking,"

-"Ha! told YOU" Thor teased

-One morning all early, you were trying to explain something to Bucky, Rhodey and Scott but they just weren't getting it and you were running out of patience.

-"Listen, I don't have the time or the crayons to explain it any further for you"

-Tony was your favorite to roast, you two went at it like siblings

-"Tony, I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is rude in most social situations,"

-"Some people just need to use a glue stick as chap stick, don't you think Y/N?,"

-In the midst of him talking back he messed up one of his projects

-You, Tony, and Bruce were in the lab working together

-"Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons, and electrons. Looks like they forgot to mention morons,"

-Bruce threw his head back in laughter and Tony just gave you the finger

-Steve is stubborn as hell when he wants to be

-So you two were going back and forth in banter while all of you were having a night out on the town

-"Ya see Steve, I would love to see things from your point of view but I'm not sure I'm flexible enough to get my head that far up my ass,"

-It was late and you went to the kitchen for a snack, not expecting anyone to be in there.

-You see Pietro stuffing his face and he scared the hell out of you (I'm still in denial about his death. Leave me alone)

-"Wait, if you're in here then who's out there scaring the crows away from our crops?,"

-One night Wanda was drunk talking out the side of her neck

-"Y/N listen to meeee," she whined

-"Oh I'm listening. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. I'm visualizing duct tape over your mouth"

- One afternoon Steve was lecturing you about protocols for a mission and he was honestly a broken record, you know this already

-"Steve, you might wanna save your breath. You're gonna need it to blow Bucky later,"

-y'aLL WHEN I SAY STEVE'S EYES BULDGED OUT OF HIS HEAD THEY BULDGED!!!

-Clint and Natasha were snickering like school children

-Bucky choked on his own laughter and gasped for air

-You were all sitting in the kitchen when Bruce came in and started talking but you seemed uninterested and yawned

-Nat nudged you, "C'mon Y/N. I think-"

-"SHHH!," you harshly whisper and everyone got quiet, "Hear that? That's the sound of nobody caring what you think"

-"BUUUURN!," Clint was the Kelso of the group.

-After a while you stopped roasting everyone so bad, not wanting to wear out your welcome and everyone asked you why

-"Just didn't want to overstep boundaries,"

-Tony patted your shoulder and shook is head, "Oh please, kid. It's a great ice breaker, we enjoy seeing you come for everyone,"

-You sighed in relief, "Great because I've been holding one in for a while"

-"Uh oh" Vision mumbled

-"How come it's acceptable for you all to act like idiots but not for me to point it out?,"

-"Oh no, I take it back, I changed my mind!," Tony groaned

-"Oh really? What'd you do with the diaper then?"

-------

Lmao, I'm not good with roasts but I hope this made someone smile at least!

Leave feedback, don't be afraid to request!

TAGS- @sideeffectsofyou @chonisberonica @majikmelanin

[birbleafs]

AF Zine Pre-orders + Fic Preview

Hello everyone! 

I can finally share about the recent project I’ve participated in :D In a Fowl Mood: an Artemis Fowl Zine is a charity zine that features new art and fanfiction made by amazing fans like you and pre-orders are currently OPEN from now till OCT 7th ! All proceeds will go to Make-A-Wish to benefit children with cancer. Be sure to check out @artemis-fowl-zine for more pre-order details and updates. We’re all really excited to be on this project and hope you’ll consider purchasing a copy! 🌟🌟

Here’s a snippet from my fic for the zine. Enjoy! :) __________ Strange Creatures Seven-year-old Beckett Fowl was the first to glance their way; Holly could’ve sworn the child had canine-like senses, what with the way he had whirled around at their near-silent approach. He was the very picture of innocence as he bounced up to them, his radiant curls and bright-eyed stare reminiscent of an eager golden retriever puppy. “Holly’s here! And S’Mulch Dinggus!” Beckett squealed happily as he launched himself at her. Holly embraced him warmly, before waving a greeting to Juliet who stood patiently behind the boy. The dwarf tutted, unimpressed at the butchering of his name. “We’ve been through this the last time, little Mudskipper. It’s Mulch Diggums.” “That’s what I said,” Beckett giggled, turning back to look at Juliet. “S’Mulch Dinggus. Funny he can’t remember his own name.” Before Mulch could get a protest in edgewise, he was interrupted by a small, polite cough. He turned and saw a bespectacled, raven-haired Mud Child appearing by Beckett’s side. Myles Fowl had the same piercing blue eyes as his free-spirited twin, but unlike his twin, he was the seemingly more precocious and finicky of the two. He looked every bit the likeness of his eldest brother, Mulch noted humorously—from the meticulously pressed suit and tie to the neatly-combed dark hair. Heck, the kid had even perfected the infamous Fowl glare to an art form, crystalline and frigid as an Arctic winter. “You’re finally here as summoned, Mister Mulch,” Myles greeted solemnly. He ignored the wet, icky sounds of Beckett blowing raspberries beside him. “Took you long enough.” “Summoned?” Mulch frowned, before a thought struck him. He grinned toothily at Holly. “So that’s what this is about, eh, Captain Short? ‘Detained’, my hairy as—” “Language, Mulch,” Holly said, stepping on the dwarf’s toes all while matching his grin with a serene, innocent smile of her own. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry I had a Retrieval squad jump you back there in the house. But it’s not like you were likely to be agreeable and come quietly if you knew the Fowl twins had extended an invitation and personally requested for your… er, assistance.” “Is not invitatitions,” Beckett chirped as he chewed on a piece of purple beeswax crayon. “Arty said summons would do in the tongue of magicks, so we summons S’Mulch!” He gave a sagely nod, his mouth stained and flecked with purple now. Mulch gave Holly a look of disappointment. “Frankly, I’m hurt you think I’d even pass up the chance to humiliate my favourite Mud Boy, and what’s more, by teaming up with his own cute brethren. Okay then, little Fowl nuggets. What dwarfish advice would you need this time?” “First of all, we’re not nuggets,” Myles said coldly, just as Beckett clucked like a gleeful hen and made flapping motions with his arms. “I assure you that we are still one-hundred percent Homo sapiens, even if Beck has gotten very good at animal mimicry of late.” “I see this one’s got a great sense of humour,” Mulch observed drily. “Definitely Artemis’ brother.” “A-hem. As I was saying...” Myles scowled at the interruption, and Mulch held up a placating hand in apology. “Secondly, Beck and I, we thought it through for many weeks—Well, I did anyway. However, we weren’t able to make any significant progress in the lab even with Professor Primate’s expertise—” “Not quite sure where you’re going with this riveting story, kiddo,” Mulch muttered. “But I’m still listening, if that helps.” “—and after several failed attempts, we have conceded that we need help from someone with the right skills. Skills we do not yet possess.” Myles paused, his young face pinched with doubt. But his hesitation was fleeting, and he met both Mulch and Holly’s curious expressions with a determined gaze once more. “We want to throw Arty the best surprise Eldest Brother’s Day when he gets back,” the boy said. “So, would you please honour us, Mister Mulch, and teach us how best to make—” “Flatulence!” Beckett crowed as if on cue, punching a fist victoriously into the air. “Please, brother. Not this again.” Myles groaned. “You boys want me to teach you how to let a mighty rip?” Mulch asked, incredulous. “No, that’s not it!” Myles cried, exasperated. “Beck has gotten it all muddled! He means the fettling process used in pottery, not the crude effusion of intestinal gas!” He tugged frantically at Beckett’s sleeve, trying to stop his twin from belting out his favourite self-composed tune called A Song of Gas and Fire, to no avail. For two whole minutes, the group was forced to listen to Beckett’s high-pitched singing of “Pbbthh, pbbthh, rattle-boom! Gas and fire, gas and fire! Heave-ho, the window’s blown!” “Thanks, little Mudskipper, for that, uh, delightful performance,” said Mulch, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes once Beckett had finished his song. “I gotta say, you sure are a natural. But there’s still something I don’t really get. Why would you need my help for the surprise? Like don’t get me wrong, kiddos, I like you two enough. But what’s wrong with Holly or Juliet here, or even Butler himself? If anything, they’re better suited at picking out the mushy gifts...” He trailed off, thinking hard. “Well, I trust the Big Man’s taste for the sentimental, at least.” “Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Mulch,” Juliet deadpanned, with only the slightest roll of her eyes. “It’s true Butler had some good suggestions for gifts, but this is a Fowl twins initiative, so we figured we’d let the kids decide on their own. Besides, Beck had other ideas...” “My ideas the best ideas!” Beckett chanted, beaming brightly. “We decided that we want to make Arty a sculpture for Eldest Brother’s Day.” Myles supplied, glancing at Mulch once again. “We know that Mister Mulch is highly attuned to the necessities of good clay work by virtue of his biological make-up— “S’Mulch is good with muds and gas! I wanna learn how to blast clay backwards too!” “—therefore, you are best suited to teach us how to sculpt and—” “And flatulence!” Mulch tried his best, he really did, but he couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer. He didn’t know which was funnier: the thought of the twins gifting Artemis Fowl, ex-criminal virtuoso and menace of the People, a squishy caricature blob of his miniature being or Beckett performing a pompous and fartastical symphony of A Song of Gas and Fire for his dear eldest brother. Either way, he was rightfully tickled and the twins were in luck. Unbeknownst to many, Mulch had spent some time dabbling in pottery and sculpting with clay when he’d lived amongst the celebrity Mud Men; he had chalked it up as weird hobby of sorts. “You Mud twins are hilarious,” he said, once his laughter had subsided and he’d managed to straighten himself up again. “All right, I’m sold on this crazy venture. I’ll help with the sculpting of a masterpiece for ol’ Arty-boy.” From the corner of his eye, he caught a glance of Juliet’s smug expression. Her lips were curved into a wide Cheshire grin as she tapped Holly’s shoulder expectantly. The elf only groaned, before she reached into her back pocket to fish out a single gold coin and slipped it into Juliet’s fingers. Mulch frowned at the exchange, throwing them his best hurt-puppy look. “Running a betting pool on me and for only a single gold coin? I’m affronted, ladies.” “You only wish your crooked mug is worth half a penny,” Holly shrugged. “I’m being generous because Juliet’s a friend.” “Aww, I knew you were a big old softie inside!” Juliet sighed happily, reaching forward to teasingly pinch the side of Mulch’s face.

[phdna]

*arriving a month late with Starbucks and an uninteresting Endgame review*

This took me forever to write because work has been very intense lately, but I have thoughts I want to write down, for my own future reference when I’m an old woman looking back on my life, if for nothing else.

SPOILERS AHEAD, of course!

From whatever little I’ve been online since Endgame came out, it seems like the internet has been on fire swearing undying love, eternal hate and everything in between. I’m used to that because the MCU fandom has a tendency to be like that, but it feels like this time is more intense, which puzzled me a little bit, as it mostly adheres to the Marvel rules of storytelling, and people tend to not fuss over movies that do that as much as they do over movies that break the established MCU patterns. And then I did some reading and watching and talking and it just hit me that people aren’t reacting to Endgame itself, they’re reacting to the MCU. Both people who think it’s the best movie ever and people who think it’s absolute trash aren’t talking a lot about the movie, they’re talking about how the movie handled the end of this long journey that was the MCU. (Exception: time travel. I’ll get back to it in a moment!) I know I’m having a Captain Obvious moment here, but bear with me for a moment, I’m going somewhere with this.

Here’s the thing: as long as there are more movies coming, we can all overlook things we dislike about the MCU really well – “they’ll just fix it later,” right? Or we can fix it ourselves, even if we don’t write/read fics – the endless theories about what the next movies are gonna be about are in large part wish-fulfillment. Maybe next time Marvel will have more representation of all kinds, maybe next time Marvel will develop their female characters as much as their male counterparts, maybe next time Marvel will focus on this particular relationship that is either underdeveloped or so developed that it should get more attention, maybe next time Marvel will direct a character arc towards where I think it should go. But when the end arrives, we have to face that we aren’t in charge of the MCU and have sometimes wildly different expectations that what the Powers That Be have in mind. We have been emotionally invested in this universe for a long time – we bring the MCU with us in our lives even away from screens – and it sucks a little to realize that, ultimately, we are powerless to impact it. If Endgame was 100% everything you’ve always wanted for every single character and for the universe as whole, great! You’re still gonna mourn the end a little bit, but it’s cool! But if you feel like even one character of the dozens in the cast got the short end of the stick, you’re gonna be upset because don’t we all wish we could sit down with Marvel and teach them Why They Are Wrong About This Character?

I hope I’m not sounding holier-than-thou, like I’m being absolutely cool and adult about the whole thing. Hell no. I’d fight Kevin Feige in a parking lot any time, and have been ready to do that since huh… the MCU started. (Especially because the MCU has taken over the comics and I like 616 more than I like the MCU, so I’ve got beef with Marvel for that.)

So yeah, I have plenty of “What? No! Whose idea was that, that’s terrible!” moments, but I always try to focus on what I enjoyed more than on what I hated. Sometimes it doesn’t work and I get forever bitter, but most of the time, I make an active effort to 1) be grateful that WE EVEN HAVE GOOD SUPERHERO MOVIES AT ALL and 2) watch the movies I’m actually watching instead of watching the movies I think I should watch. For instance, I want to set myself on fire whenever I think about how un-family-like the Avengers are in the MCU, but since being a family isn’t a story the MCU is trying to tell, I consciously try to find something I enjoy about the constant conflicts, such as what they tell us about what each character believes, and how they keep coming back together to do the right thing despite their differences.

Arguably, that’s too much effort, and I get why some people want to be entertained and get upset if the MCU doesn’t deliver that entertainment – I mean, movies are supposed to be fun. But since I was a kid, I’ve always been a fan of imperfect things I have no control over, and I muddle through what I don’t enjoy to get to the shiny bits that give me goosebumps and keep me up at night feeling giddy over how good something was. It’s part of how I react to stuff I like by now. I don’t know, maybe it’s my History degree talking, but I don’t see what the big deal is with saying “Some of it sucks, some of it is brilliant, some of it has to be challenged on the ground of human rights, but overall I’m interested in learning more about it.”

Why the essay on how to engage with the MCU?

Because no matter how I think about it, my primary opinion about Endgame isn’t “I think it’s good” or “I think it’s bad” but just “I’m thankful.” That’s it. I can’t look at Endgame and see it as an isolated movie. I look at it and think “God, I was just out of school when Tony said I am Iron Man and now I’m a teacher and the MCU has always been there helping me keep track of the passage of time all these years.” Here, have a bad analogy: Endgame is when you finish a long travel and there’s nothing home to eat and you have to unpack and you’re exhausted and normal life is depressing and you have a headache and you’re frustrated that holidays are over and you didn’t do everything you wanted…. but that doesn’t make the entire travel a waste of time, does it? It’s actually the opposite. If the travel sucks, getting home is great. And very, very, very few people walk out of Endgame saying “Thank god this MCU saga is over, ugh, I was following it just out of obligation and I’m glad I’m free now” – I mean, there are people like that, and I can see why, but I also never finish things just out of obligation so I can’t relate. Anyway, mostly, people either expected more because the MCU is good enough to do better or thought this was the perfect ending. I’m both. Some things I loved, some things I really wish would be different, but mostly, I’m, like I said, grateful that the journey was so good that no ending would’ve fully satisfied me.

My biggest problem is with time travel. I’ve never liked the trope (not huge on alternate universes, either!), so I knew this would be a pet peeve even before I watched Endgame. I’m also surprised that apparently nobody involved in the movie can agree on how aforementioned time travel works. Fans certainly can’t. And I don’t think it’s a good thing if your audience is confused by a major part of your movie, even if there is a perfectly good explanation and the audience just didn’t get it. (Which isn’t the case, as apparently there isn’t a perfect explanation.) But you know what? I’m hand-waving it. It’s a convoluted plot device but it made a good movie, so like, whatever. Let it work in ABC way unless XYZ needs to happen, in which case, XYZ is how it’s always worked regardless of how ABC was used before. I don’t care. I’m taking what they say happened and saying “Okay, that’s how it happened” and ignoring the hows and the whys. It’s just bad comic book logic on the big screen, I’ve been rolling with this kind of thing since I was a literal child. Having said that, I don’t know what year it is in the MCU, I don’t know how Spider-Man will work, I’m not touching Cap’s time paradox with a ten-foot pole, and I’m not even gonna try to understand any of the timeline charts going around online.

My other major problems have to do with real life more than with the movie. The only original female Avenger dies in the same way the only original female Guardian of the Galaxy died, and neither of them get funerals but we do get the men in their lives suffering over it (which switches the focus from mourning the women to the men’s journeys.) Not sure if the joke was that Thor was clinically depressed or if the joke was that Thor was fat, but haha hilarious. The first openly queer character is omg a nameless cameo talking about someone we never see, isn’t the MCU so progressive? (The bar was so low that Marvel had to dig a ditch so they could somehow get lower than that.) Not loving the idea of “Thanos treated Gamora like shit but the Soul Stone recognizes he loved her” and “Tony’s dad was awful but Tony can Forgive Him” being presented as touching – it’s creepy af and makes me wonder if the MCU will end up saying Alexander Pierce actually cared about Bucky somewhat or something of that sort. Female hero team up: unironically loved it and want it projected on my tombstone (it was one of my favorite part), but it’s a little disturbing that almost none of them had much of a storyline in the movie because they don’t have much of a storyline in the MCU – it really highlights that Marvel has a boy’s club problem still. Now, none of these things make for a bad movie, it just reminds me that Marvel has a long way to go with they want to become inclusive.

Okay, now on to storylines…

Tony. Loved it. I love how the Russos direct Tony (I do have a problem with how M&M write Tony, sometimes, though, and always have) because they love to highlight how soft Tony’s heart is. Part of what makes the character interesting in any universe is that he’s willing to do morally shady stuff when he thinks he’s justified and he tends to think he’s justified because he knows exactly how smart he is, but if you explore this borderline antihero behavior without a deep commitment to reminding the audience that Tony is emotional and gentle, you end up with Reed Richards. 616!Tony will always be sweeter than MCU!Tony (even though 616!Tony’s dad literally tried to beat emotions out of him, while MCU!Tony’s dad more ignored him than actively tried to make him colder, but that’s besides the point) but Tony was so openly loving in this movie, and it helps make his death hit home, why so many people will miss Iron Man and Tony I pity Morgan a lot because she won’t remember her dad, but the only way to feel like the torch has truly been passed to other heroes was to kill Tony – keep him alive in any way and characters are gonna want his advice even if he stops fighting. I want to see how other heroes will protect a world without Iron Man. It’s exciting and brand new and feels a bit like when Fury said in 2008 that Tony isn’t the only superhero.

Steve. Let’s take the time paradox at face value and say everything goes well in every possible timeline and nobody suffers more than they would if he hadn’t done his time-heist thing, because I think that’s what the movie wanted to imply. I’m actually happy he got to be with Peggy. It’s not how I’d write him, mind you, but I always knew MCU Steve was being written as someone who is inherently out of place in the modern world. In the comics, Steve has a culture shock and he mourns people, but he finds a new family in the Avengers and truly becomes part of this century. MCU Steve was never that guy. And that’s okay, it’s a valid take! Not what I’d do, but given his storyline throughout the other movies, I think it’s a very satisfying ending that feels very organic. Saying “screw everything, I’ll do what I think it’s important” has been Steve’s constant in all movies, and it’s nice that he learned that he is important too, not just everybody else. Handing the shield was also very important – no “I think he’d want you to have it” to fuel conspiracy theories in the future: Steve made a good decision and that’s fine. (And I’ll cut a bitch if y’all keep saying “maybe Bucky had the shield before” because Sam can be a first choice fgs!!!)

Professor Hulk is a thing and I liked it more than I thought I would. Hopefully we’ll see more of him. I liked Bruce and I liked the Hulk, but somehow this version of him made me go from “Yeah, they’re nice” to “PLEASE TELL ME HE’LL HAVE A SOLO MOVIE” so good job in redeeming the Hulk franchise, Marvel! It only took you 10 years to get the right tone, but hey, what matters is that you did it!

Thor…….. Um. Hard. I liked his character arc but hated how it was handled. I’m not even a huge fan of Ragnarok because comedy isn’t my thing, but watching Ragnarok, I could see why the movie worked and the humor didn’t come at the expense of being fair to the character. Endgame felt more like the movie itself was bullying him. They’re laughing at his pain, basically, and it’s just not funny. It bothers me for the same reason it bothers me when people say pre-serum Steve should never leave home – just… no. But then, we got Thor and Frigga and I’d sell a kidney for more Frigga, so, it wasn’t completely awful. Just like, 90%?

Natasha!!! I hope everybody who said Scarjo can’t act paid attention to this movie, because she gave Nat a depth that we haven’t seen since CATWS, and even then, because it was Steve’s story, she was sidelined. That’s the Nat I’ve always wanted in the MCU. …and of course, she’s dead. Luckily, we don’t know anything about MCU!Nat, so we can still get prequels even if they don’t want to bring her back to life. It’s a little shady that she dies (why is it that the randomly decided death always seem to be randomly assigned to whatever the minority in a team is, huh?) but I love that she sacrificed herself for the greater good. It’s a heroic end to a woman who thought she was gonna be a villain her entire life. Oh, oh, oh, I have to say this: Natasha leading the remaining Avengers? Godtier. I’m not much of a fic person but I desperately want fics of that off-screen period where she’s being a boss.

Clint. MCU!Clint never did much for me, so I was impressed that I was rooting so much for him during the movie. I don’t know if he’ll just retire completely, but I’m hoping he doesn’t so we can see more of him in the MCU.

Okay, that’s the original Avengers and I’ve already written……. Too much. So I’ll stop – sort of – here.

But first, other random comments.

Fight choreography? On point, 10/10, would let Marvel beat me up to experience these sequences myself

“I am inevitable.” “I am Iron Man.” I cried so much the screen got blurry and I almost missed the snap. Thank you for this exchange.

I love and support Morgan, but I’m dreading the idea that in a near future, the MCU will get Riri’s entire story and give it to Morgan. Please, MCU, I’m counting on you, have Morgan grow up to befriend Riri, not to steal her role.

Nebula needs a solo movie. Nebula needs a whole cinematic universe, actually. What a character.

Speaking of which, GotG 3 is shaping up to be very cool

Sam being the one to say “On your left” in the movie where he becomes Captain America? Poetic cinema. Also! Sam Wilson is Captain America and both the human being who wants children to grow up in a better world and the geek who wants to see flying Cap in me are equally over the moon with joy

Bucky, my darling, the MCU hasn’t known what to make of you since 2011. It’s okay, Sebastian Stan will always do his magic and make you be Bucky even when Marvel doesn’t fully understand anything about your character

Pepper’s character development in 10 years is protagonist-worthy, I can’t believe how she always only has a couple of scenes every movie

Tom Holland should not be allowed to have crying scenes, they make my heart hurt

The movie feels a lot shorter than it is

There’s a lot more I could say, but I’m writing it on Word (tumblr sometimes eat my text posts as I’m writing them) and the wordcount is nearing 3k, so I better shut up. If you’ve read all of this, please treat yourself to a milkshake, you’re awesome. If there’s anything you want to talk about that I didn’t address (or just… you know, about Marvel in general), my ask and my direct messages are always open. I’ll probably take forever to get back to you (I NEED A VACATION ASAP) but I will eventually answer you and I don’t bite, so please go ahead if you’re curious about my not-so-very-interesting thoughts :)

TL;DR: Endgame isn’t my favorite movie (IM, IM3, CATFA, CATWS and BP all come first, sorry) but it’s up there in the “I can watch this movie a thousand times and I won’t get tired of it” list, and I think it does a fairly good job in ending the Infinity Saga, so I’m basically pleased!

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 1x19 Chapter Nineteen

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Are they bringing up that cringy flower metaphor because Jane is going to have sex?

2) Look, if you go through the seven stages of grief overnight, maybe the relationship that you’re grieving didn’t mean that much, to you to begin with…

3) OH FUCK, YOU’RE SHITTING ME!!

And what do you know? I finally agree with Rafael. He’s making a lot of sense – it’s true that it’s better to call it off before the baby is even born, which would complicate things so much more AND IT’S THE EXACT REASON WHY I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE GOT TOGETHER AT ALL. And they shouldn’t stay together just not to “give up” – not if they’re always fighting! That’s how toxic relationships begin…

4) What is Roman planning to do with Petra? Also, murderer confirmed. He did kill his brother. Harsh.

5) I really, really hope they don’t stretch out this Xiomara-lying-to-Rogelio thing.

6) Ugh this is really exasperating!

She’s holding on to this glorified idea of a fairy tale romance and she doesn’t accept the reality that’s in front of her, which is that they’re not right for each other, at least not right now. I’M SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS PLOT ISTG

7) COUPLE’S THERAPY?!!! Seriosuly??¡asdjlasdladaldlkasda

I’m sorry but how can’t she realize that if you need couple’s therapy after dating for what?, two months?, then maybe you’re not as meant to be as you think you are. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!

8) Okay, that whole scene where Rafael and Jane describe their relationship in a nutshell was absolutely hilarious. So much shit has happened this season, it’s insane!

9) So Roman is basically taking over Rose’s drug-dealing “business.”

10) Petra is resourceful af, I love her. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get caught when she tries to use the cell phone.

11) PLEASE, RAFAEL, PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU HERE, DON’T BE WILLING TO DO THE WORK TO FIX THINGS. JUST DON’T. I’M EXHAUSTED. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE.

12) Wait. I just had a terrifying thought. They’ve brought up the sex thing, and Jane is desperately trying to make things work with Rafael for some reason. Does this mean that she will have sex with him in a last ditch effort to “save their relationship”? I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive that shit.

13) Andie is a shady bitch and I hope she’s gone soon, k? Thx, bye.

14) This is such an iconic masterpiece…

(I tried to find a video link for this scene, but I couldn’t, and I was afraid if I kept digging I’d get spoiled about something.)

15)  OMG

16) I’d forgive him.

17) OMG!!!!!!

That’s probably the best out-of-context line ever.

18) Why doesn’t she just run away?

19) Okay, good, she eventually ran. It just would’ve made more sense to ran first and make the phone call when she was away from him.

20) Oh, cool, she impaled Roman again.

21) They’re reading out these lists they wrote weeks ago, but I remember Rafael cheated because he showed his to Jane since she was freaking out about them not knowing each other well enough. UGHHHH AND NOW THEY’RE BACK TOGETHER???!!!! IS THIS MY PERSONAL VERSION OF HELL?!!! IT’S STARTING TO FEEL LIKE IT!

22) Uh-oh…

I think we’ll see how Rogelio and Xiomara deal with the exact same situation…

23) They’re going to have sex, aren’t they?

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

24) Bless your kind soul, Nick, you’re literally godsend!

25) Bless Xiomara for being the voice of reason.

26) What, Michael, what did you see?!!!

27) Holy shit, Nadine was working for Sin Rostro the whole time!

At least he gave her some time to get the hell away before they get her arrested.

28) My sweet Rogelio, he felt so guilty - even though he didn’t do anything wrong - and he confessed! And of course, Xiomara is taking advantage of his good-nature to get away with what she did…

29) It kind of breaks my heart that Petra reached out to Rafael first. Poor lonely girl, she has no one to turn to.

30) Like, I’m glad they’re broken up, but what he said sounded totally made up? And purposefully hurtful?

RAFAEL: Look, last night got me thinking, too. And I realized that something has changed.

JANE: What?

RAFAEL: I just don't love you the way that you love me. That's the problem. That's why this won't work.

JANE: I don't believe you.

RAFAEL: Look, I know that this hurts to hear

JANE: Why are you saying this?  

RAFAEL: Because I thought that I did. But I guess I just got caught up in the idea of us being a family. Of you being the mother of my child. And I was just projecting so much onto that. But I am seeing things clearly now. I think that we should end it. Focus on how we can both be good parents

31) Cool, the narrator will explain why this sounded so OOC. I’m sure someone pressured Rafael for some reason…

32) Okay, so no one forced him to do it, he truly believes being apart is the best thing for them and their child, and I have to agree with him. I just hope we’re over with this back and forth for a while. I’m beyond tired of it.

33) Did she really choose this moment to tell him? Did she forget what Jane said about his pride? Why would she humiliate him further by telling him about it in front of an audience while they’re doing a photoshoot?

He has every right to be angry, though. But I hope they can make up, they’re the most functional couple in this show, tbh.

34) And this has nothing to do with the fact that Michael just learned that Jane and Rafael broke up…

35) ALBA RECOGNIZED HER!!!

36) Even though I might just a tad tired of the whole Rafael/Jane thing - just a tad, mind you - I really can’t wait to see what the final episodes of this season have in store. I hae a feeling the season will end with a bang. Although I hope not literally. 

37)  Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[woildismyerster]

Hello! I love your writing so much! I was hoping to make a request, because no one makes my heart flutter like Kevin G. I thought maybe Kevin and the reader both have feelings for each other but are oblivious to it, so someone asks the reader to the spring fling and she accepts, and after the mathlete’s competion Kevin goes to the dance and confesses his feelings and just super fluffy? Thank you so much! Love your blog!

Kevin is seriously a Good Boy.

It seemed like a societal flaw to trap members from the world’s most hormonal, unstable people group in a building together for seven hours every day.  You weren’t sure that bring in such close proximity brought out everybody’s civilized side, and the current school year had proven that point.

Teenagers are emotional.  Teenagers are devious.  Teenagers will stab each other in the back for something extreme, like for the greater good, or for something trivial, like to get the last fruit roll up.

That being said, you weren’t one to talk.  Your mad crush on Kevin Gnapoor made you as irrational as the rest of them.  You didn’t tell people, but these were rapid animals.  They could smell it.

Regina had thrown it at you in an offhanded comment while you worked on a group project with the two of them.  Kevin shot you a look, as though to tell you that laughing would only make her worse.

Tyler had noticed it right away, and though he didn’t tell anyone, you could feel the way he watched all of your interactions like a soap opera.

Marwan noticed later.  He thought that you had terrible taste, but he smiled while he said so.

Norbury reminded you, as sarcastic as ever, that there was a Mathletes competition the night of the dance.  She told you that you would fail her class if Kevin ditched to go to the dance with you.

Kevin was probably a whale or something, because he couldn’t smell the smitten on you at all.  At.  All.

It would have been funny if that didn’t allow you to pretend that you stood a chance.

“I mean, a female Doctor?  The feminists are taking over!”  Tyler had put on a nasally voice, and none of the rest of you hesitated before joining him.  “I’m an adult virgin!”

“If only we’d had developed senses of humor when Vine was alive,” Marwan mourned.

“The world couldn’t have handled all of this,” Kevin said.  He spun in leisurely circles in the computer chair.

You snorted.  “Right, that’s it.  It isn’t that you aren’t funny.”

“I’m hilarious, son.”

“Say something funny.”

Kevin grinned at you, head tilted back so he could see you upside down.  “Couldn’t possibly say something that’s funnier than your face, Y/N.”

The others cupped their hands over their mouths.  “Ooooooooh.”

“Wow,” you said.  “You’re right.  That’s totally Vine material.  You’d have been rolling in dough by now.”

“I’d be making it rain,” Kevin said dreamily.  “The ladies would be going wild.”

“If only you were old enough to hire a prostitute,” you deadpanned.

Tyler laughed.  “She got you there, man.”

“I’m tall,” he protested.  “And any honey would be willing to bend rules to get with Kevin G.”

“But here you are, single as ever,” you said.  You gave the chair an extra boost, sending him spiralling.

Kevin spread his arms, smacking Marwan in the side with every twirl.  “I’m not ready to settle down.  I’m enjoying my options.”

“It’s a Friday night,” Marwan pointed out.  “I’m not seeing any options here, unless you count Y/N.”

The four of you were sitting in Tyler’s basement, with Twilight Zone reruns playing in the background.  The boys weren’t so much as texting any girls, let alone wooing them.

“Y/N does not count,” Kevin ceded.  “Unless she wants to go up to Tyler’s room.”

“Sure,” you said sweetly.  “C’mon, Tyler.  Give me a full tour.  Show me everything.”

“Ouch.”  Kevin stopped the chair to give you a cocky smile.  “I think I could give you just as good of a tour, babe.  Kevin G can show you what you wanna see.”

“Believe me, you can’t,” you lied.  It was an easy lie to give, and it didn’t feel like it costed you much.  Tyler’s eye roll, maybe.  Marwan’s huff of disbelief.

All Kevin did was put a hand over his heart.  “You don’t mean in.  You’ll come around.”

“Try again when you’re making it rain.”

“I will,” he promised.  “But you’ll come crawling back before then.”

“Fat chance,” you said, and the grin on his face made you wonder if he knew how flimsy the words were.

“Y/N,” he said eagerly.  “Y/N, girl, lovely lady -”

“Kevin,” you sighed back.  “Kevin, bro, man ho -”

“Woof,” he grinned.  “That would be offensive if it wasn’t my dream.”

You closed your English book and gave him your full attention.  “What’s up?”

“We should go door to door tonight to collect cans for the food drive.  I want that pizza party in homeroom, yo.”

Tyler looked up from his lunch, surprised.  “I thought that you and I were -”

“Nope,” Kevin said smoothly.  His body jerked, and there was a thump under the table.

Tyler winced, leaning down to rub his foot.  “Jesus Christ, fine.”

“Y/N, let’s do this thing,” Kevin said.

You grinned.  “Alright, let’s win a pizza party.”

Tyler shot you a pointed look.  You pretended not to notice.  Kevin was too busy charting a collection route to see the dopey smile on your face.

“Y/N, I swear to God, I’m going to kill someone if you don’t put Kevin out of his misery soon,” Tyler said earnestly.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s driving me insane.  He doesn’t talk about anything else, and his raps are sappy, and he’s so busy trying to prove a point to you that he won’t share food with anyone else -”

You snorted.  Your class didn’t win the food drive competition, but Kevin bought a pizza to share with you at lunch anyways.  When Tyler and Marwan tried to get in on the action, Kevin said that it was only for the people who went collecting.

“You’re being dramatic,” you said.  “Kevin’s always weird.  It’s why he’s a good friend.”

“He’s too busy being a good boyfriend to the girl he isn’t dating,” Tyler mumbled.  “You have to fix it.”

“By doing what?”

“Tell him that you like him.  Lie, and tell him that you don’t like him.”  Tyler rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.  “I don’t care.  But you have to do something.”

“He doesn’t like me,” you said patiently.  “You’re being stupid.”

“And you’re being blind.”

You grinned.  “Believe me, Kevin would make a move if he felt something.  He’s never had any qualms about speaking his mind before.”

Tyler gave a non-committal hum.  “Tell him that you like him.  He’ll be stoked.”

“Or I won’t tell him, and I won’t be disappointed when he tries to let me down gently.”  That seemed like the far superior option.

“Because doing nothing is way better,” Tyler said.  “Totally.  That’s, like, the epitome of good seduction techniques.  Do absolutely nothing and hope that something changes.”

“Yikes.”

“It’s the truth.  Either you tell Kevin how you feel, or you try to move on.  Waiting hasn’t helped so far,” he pointed out.

That was true.  You were as single now as you had been when you first started noticing how incredible Kevin was.  Tell him, or move on.

Tell him.  You felt sick to your stomach when you imagined the horrified look on Kevin’s face when he realized that there were some decidedly not-friendly feelings mixing in the friendship.

Move on.  It didn’t feel any better to picture dating somebody else.

Okay, so both options felt awful.  That made things a little easier; you could go all Into The Woods on this and wait for something to decide for you.  You would wait for some sort of sign, and let that be the deciding factor.

You waited for a sign, and when it finally arrived, you felt worse than ever.

“If we rap all of our answers at States, the other team will be too intimidated to win,” Kevin insisted.

“Or they’ll answer everything before us,” Marwan counted, “because we’ll be wasting our time trying to freestyle.”

“That’s a personal problem,” Kevin said.  “I don’t need time.”

“Y/N, tell Kevin that his idea is dumb AF.”  Marwan didn’t bother looking at you, and you didn’t bother giving Kevin an apologetic grin.

“Kevin, that’s a bad plan.  Winning will make you cooler than a rap will.”

He deflated for a second, but the smile returned with vengeance.  “We’ll be hot stuff when we win,” he agreed.  “You’ll have to keep your distance, unless you want to burst into flames on contact.”

“I won’t see you that night.”  You sighed, all exaggerated disappointment, in the hopes that they wouldn’t hear the real disappointment that mingled with nerves.  “I’ll be at the dance.”

“What?”  All three of the boys gaped at you, but Tyler looked the most surprised of all.  “I thought you were coming to the competition.”

“I was, but then I got asked to the dance.”

Tyler’s eyes were the size of dinner plates.  “You’re going on a date?”

All faces in the room reflected varying degrees of horror, including you.  You could only hope that a smile would mask that fact that you really didn’t want to go on this date.  “C’mon, guys.  It isn’t that crazy that somebody would want to date me.”

“No, not crazy at all,” Kevin said, his face a few shades paler than it had been before.  “Who’d you sucker into hanging out with you for the night?”

“Seth Mosakowski,” you said.

Kevin gave a scathing snort.  “Dude, he made out with Karen Smith last year.  They’re cousins.”

“Good thing I’m not his cousin, then.”

“He’s an idiot,” Marwan said.

“Good thing I’m not, then.”

“You don’t even like him,” Tyler said emphatically.

You looked at your hands.  “Good thing he likes me, then.”  The words were saturated with bitterness, and it seemed like the mood got to the guys.  Smiles were rare for the rest of the afternoon, and they never belonged to Kevin.

Dances were trippy places.  It seemed like every moment was blending together, even the moment you were living in.  The next morning, you were sure, the entire night would be a messy blur of dim lighting and warm bodies.

You were hoping so, at least, because you weren’t sure that you wanted to remember this date.

Seth was nice, and it wasn’t his fault that this sucked serious balls.  It wasn’t his fault that you didn’t like his long, pointless stories.  It wasn’t his fault that you didn’t understand the inside jokes he had with his friends, or that you weren’t interested in learning them.  The only fault you could see in him was that he wasn’t the person you wanted to be there with.

“So we were in math class,” Seth said.

You hummed in acknowledgement, though he probably couldn’t hear you over the newest Ed Sheeran song.

“Jason was making a bang list for the junior class.”

You glanced back at the gym doors, wondering if it was too early to take your third bathroom break of the night.  A tall, dark head of hair was wading through the clumps of students, and everything felt clear for the first time all night.

“He ranked Taylor Wedell over Gretchen, but only when he knew Cady was close enough to hear and report it back to her.”

You waited until Kevin get near enough to hear, and called his name.  His head whipped toward you, warm grin plastered on before he even realized it was you.  It faltered when he saw you, followed up by something that made you ache.  “Looking pretty fly, G.  Mathletes jackets are super vogue.”

“Y/N,” Kevin said, a little strangled.  “You look amazing.”

“I know, right?”  Seth grinned.  “How goes it, Gnapoor?  You must have missed the memo - we were supposed to look good for this.  You wore the wrong outfit.”

Kevin’s smile was back.  “Mosakowski.  I was surprised to hear that you asked Y/N out; the two of you aren’t related.”

“Seth, can you leave us alone for a second?”  You gave him a sweet smile, flicking Kevin an irritated look.  Neither one looked pleased, but Kevin had the sense to look nervous.  “I have to ask Kevin a question about some homework that’s due Monday.”

“Text me later,” Kevin said.  “I’ve got a thing over there.”

“Over where?”

“Anywhere but here,” he mumbled.  “Have fun, Y/N.  Seth.”

“Not likely,” you mumbled while he brushed past.  You felt him pause, surprised, but you didn’t look back.

Kevin:  Norbury’s class.  five minutes

Y/N:  Why?

Kevin:  homework

You told Seth that you had to use the bathroom, and he didn’t question it.  You couldn’t tell if he truly believed that your bladder was a waterfall, or if he just wanted time away from you too.  It hardly mattered.

The classroom door was cracked open, but the light was off.  You loitered in front of the door for a minute, wondering if you should go in, until a hand reach out, grabbed your wrist, and yanked you through.

You gave a startled scream, but Kevin’s hand pressed against your lips.

“Jesus God, Y/N.  We aren’t supposed to be in here; don’t get us caught.”

“Don’t manhandle me, then,” you snapped back.  You had to stifle a grin at the sight of him, even with the irritation fueling you.  “If you thought that I had actual homework questions, you are going to be sorely disappointed.”

“If you thought that I was dumb enough to miss the fact that you were lying,” he replied with a wry smile, “you are going to be sorely disappointed.”

You took a few steps back and settled against a desk.  The room was too dark, too quiet, for you to stand that close to Kevin without imagining things that probably never happened outside of teen porn.  “What’s up?”

“You said that you were having a bad night,” he said, closing the door.  “Ya boi is saving you from a bad date.”

You did smile at that.  “How sweet.  What are you doing at the dance?  You had States.”

“We already won, so we thought we should come over.”

“Funny,” you said.  “It’s weird that you’d come to a dance, and then lock yourself in a room with me instead of actually dancing.”

“I don’t think it’s weird at all,” he said.  In three long strides, he came to your desk, put his hands on your waist, and kissed you.

Moments in the evening had been blurring before, but now everything was perfectly clear.  You were aware of everything - the lingering taste of an orange creamsicle that he must have had on the way over, the sound of corny music playing in the distant gym, the scrape of his teeth against your lips, the bite of the desk into your thighs.

If this was the sort of thing that only happened in teen porn, you didn’t want to be living anywhere else.

“Why the hell,” he mumbled against your lips, “would you go to homecoming with Seth Mosakowski?”

You snorted, giving the hair at the base of his neck a sharp tug.  “It’s not like I had a better offer.”

“I had a competition today!”

“You still showed up,” you said.  You pulled back a little, settling your arms around his neck in a loose hug.  Kevin was smiling, bewildered and hopeful.  

“Because I knew you were here,” he said.  

“You came to the dance, just to watch me on my date?”  

“Something like that.”

You looked pointedly between the lack of space between your bodies.  “You are a terrible casual observer.”

He kissed you again.  “I can’t stand by and watch Hick Central steal my girl.”

“Your girl?”

“I bought you a pizza,” he said, rubbing his nose against yours.  “I really thought that we were almost there.”

“You should have asked me out.”

“I thought we were almost there,” he said again.  “It was an unspoken thing, Y/N.”

You looked at the ceiling, thoughtful.  “I don’t remember agreeing to anything.”

“Babe.”

“Maybe I’ll have you as my classroom hookup, Seth as my dance partner, and a couple other guys on the side -”

“Bruh.”

You beamed.  “Hey, if nobody’s asking -”

“I’m asking,” he said.  Kevin wiped the smirk away, until the hope was all there was.  “Let’s go out on a date.  A real date - a spoken thing.”

“Are you sure that you can give up your man ho ways?”

“I can’t,” he teased.  “But I’m only a ho for you.”

“Awe, babe,” you said, snorting.  “I feel like that was supposed to be romantic, but it somehow wasn’t -”

He kissed you again, all smiles and happy sighs, and you responded in kind.

[chrome-blade]

Sofia The First: Season Five Ideas

This post is a little later than I would have liked, but this is just a rundown of ideas and scenarios I would have loved to see played out had there been a fifth season of Sofia The First.

There was just... SO MUCH POTENTIAL that wasn’t taken advantage of! So many storylines that could have been explored further. So many characters that we could’ve dug deeper into, given more screen time and gotten to know better.

So, I’m going to share my ideas. Anyone who wants to add on, please do so. I really want to write more on some of these characters and I have a few OC’s and headcannons (some of which will be mentioned here).

Here we go with the list.

The Order of the Wand

I think we can ALL AGREE that the Order of the Wand was TRAGICALLY underused. I mean, Grimtrix gets all these sorcerers together to overthrow their respective kingdoms and basically become High King over them all and it’s JUST. One. EPISODE.

I mean, COME ON!

THIS, more than anything, had the potential to become SO MUCH BIGGER than just ‘Day of the Sorcerers’. The whole season could have had them as an underlying threat in contrast - or even in conjunction- with Prisma and her hunt for the Wicked Nine. Grimtrix would have made an excellent competition for Prisma; possibly even tried to persuade them to join up and help each other.

For Season Five, I could easily see Grimtrix either getting out of prison himself or being broken out of prison and promise revenge on Cedric -whom he’s FURIOUS to learn is a great hero now- and Princess Sofia.

This would tie into my other plot idea...

The Wicked Nine

Of ALL THE PLOT POINTS and potential for something bigger, THIS is the one that really screams ‘WASTED!’ To me. I mean, you have ALL THESE MAGICAL OBJECTS, all belonging to the MOST VILE, depraved and sinister villains to exist... and DON’T USE THEM? Sure, we saw Grimhilda’s Crown, but that was once and what about the rest of them? What about her heart box? (That is some SCARY ASS potential there with that. I’m thinking that she doesn’t physically take your heart, but takes your soul and traps it inside and she can take possession of your body. Talk about nightmare fuel.)

My idea? Season Five sees every one of these villains resurrected as a result of Vor. (Don’t ask me how). They’re confused AF, but they don’t care. They’re alive, kicking and want to raise as much trouble as possible. They get out of the Mystic Isles while all the confusion with Vor is going on and the Protectors don’t notice until later. Needless to say, the three Good Faries are FURIOUS and scared of all the trouble they KNOW Maleficent will bring. So now there’s THIS worry on top of the Order of the Wand. Who team up with the Wicked Nine. Nice.

I’m just trying to picture all the banter and potential for conflict, rivalries and the like between these villains. The potential is just too insane and even hilarious. Example, Dr. Facilier gets along well with Gothel and eventually Greylock. Lady Tremain considers them so BASE and associates with them as little as possible, preferring the company of Queen Grimhilda and possibly Jafar, who understand how ‘the rabble’ can be. Shan Yu gets along well with Mor’du, which is no surprise given their love of bloodshed. Only Shan Yu is calculating and planned. Mor’du’s is naturally random and without warning. Shan Yu is the only one who can keep him in line and assures that he gets fresh kill.

Grimtrix is reluctant at first, but decides to join up as long as he can get back at Cedric, the sorcerer who turned on him for the friendship of a princess.

Prisma

This is a character that, despite being crucial to the storyline of season four, was woefully under explored as a character. She was someone I actually felt truly sorry for in regards to her motivations, even though her actions were wrong. As we saw with Cedric, being in the shadow of someone like a parent is no easy thing. In the shadow of a sibling? That had to have been a nightmare. I can’t help but feel we really missed out on exploring the culture of the Mystic Isles when it comes to things like being what and who you are. Watching ‘Undercover Faries’ gives me an idea of what it must have been like for Prisma. Only MUCH worse.

My problem lies with how her resolution was handled; I was SO GLAD to see her express remorse and accept responsibility for her actions. I honestly saw it coming. But my problem is, there was very little exploration into her background to give that apology more weight and meaning. If you’re going to make a character remorseful at the end, you need to give them a little more substance to them to make that apology feel more ‘real’. I wanted to look more into who Prisma was and who she is. What happened that made her snap and try to cover the Mystic Isles with crystals? What made her crystals ‘subpar’ in the first place? Were they or did they have properties that no one thought to explore that haven’t been seen in crystals either before or in a very long time?

In season five, I would love for Prisma to get a shot at redemption. (Remorse is not redemption . It just opens up the potential for redemption). How she would obtain it would be hard but I have a few ideas there. Also explore her family background and how Crystallar culture functions.

Her relationship with Azurine would be explored in depth more. Were they always like this or were they, like Cedric and Cordelia, closer as children? At least before people started going to Azurine for crystals and pass Prisma over? I think Prisma would want to apologize to her sister, but it would be hard for her and Azurine? I think she’d want to but they would have a LOT to talk about.

Prisma’s primary motivation for gaining power for herself was to gain love for herself. Her sister, it appears, got all the love and appreciation growing up in part due to her prowess as a Crystal Master. She saw her sister being loved like that and wanted to be loved, too. But because she was dismissed with her crystals deemed as inferior in comparison, she saw her sister as competition. I have to really question where their parents were. Which brings me to...

Prisma’s parents: my headcannon is her mother was a narcissist. She treated her children like gold until their Crystal powers became clear. With Azurine, her affection intensified. With Prisma, she became distant and made a point of showing her where she stood in not just Crystal Master society, but in her eyes. She’s a combination of Gothel and Tremain but even worse, in some respects. She dressed Azurine in bright colors ‘appropriate for a TRUE Crystal Master’ and forced Prisma to wear drab colors like brown. Telling her that it wouldn’t suit Prisma to wear bright colors like blue. It was a way of telling her that she was ‘dirt’ compared to the ‘sun’ that was her sister.

Prisma’s crystals aren’t subpar but have a power that hasn’t been utilized or even seen in crystals. At least, nothing seen as useful. But it is. Figuring it out would be part of how she helps Sofia and the Protectors stop the OotW and the W9.

Prisma ends up in Enchancia under the charge of Cedric, who is reluctant but is willing to try given his own history

Prisma is naturally unsure and doesn’t know where she fits as she tries to make friends and fails at first. She eventually befriends Lucinda and meets her mother Marla, who is happy to talk to her and offer guidance. They become BFF’s. This scares Cedric (in a funny way)

At some point, she finds a baby barn owl and cares for it in secret because she doesn’t know how people will react. Sofia finds out and promises to keep her a secret because it’s clear Prisma loves her pet and is glad to see Prisma opening her heart.

Wormwood and Twitch

Let’s face it; the series wouldn’t be complete without these two. I could easily see them escaping the Protectors Tower and ending up with the Wicked Nine. Wormwood would be utterly taken by Maleficent, who would gladly accept him. Twitch would be useful and we could explore his own background more. These two would bicker, but be seen as useful.

Wormwood has extensive knowledge of everything involving the Royal Family of Enchancia that could easily be used to the advantage of their enemies. Secret entrances and ways to get in and out of the castle unnoticed. Including a few secrets of the Royal Family and Cedric, of course that could be useful.

Cedric

Now known as ‘Cedric the Great’, his reputation has skyrocketed and he’s now loved and respected across the kingdom. His confidence is up there and he’s pretty happy.

Which leads to the eventual offers of courtship from women, mostly sorceresses of important families. He’s flattered, elated and overwhelmed. Eventually, the attention gets to be too much and before long, he’s hiding in his tower again and has to be persuaded out.

Cedric is going to help Sofia, naturally and is going to be involved with helping stop the bad guys. He is understandably wary of Prisma, but is reminded by Sofia how HE once was, so he helps her find her footing and they slowly gain each other’s trust and by and by, become friends.

Wow, that’s a lot...

I would LOVE to see what you all would want from a season five from Sofia the First. Please share your ideas! I’d love to hear them! I’d love for this to be a project of sorts.

[kalesandfails]

apocalypse soon

Here are some things I have done in the past seventy two hours:

learned that Zyrtec is not a drug for me,

set a new precedent in which mommy eats dinner, too, rather than waiting on everyone for the duration of the meal;

weathered about a million Lily tantrums,

written a blog about the need for “left-learning”  news sources (I call them “the good guys”) to stop dabbling in the objectification of “fresh new faces” and instead commit to engaging political agents on the subject of their ideas, then opted not to publish it, because what’s even more important than my radical feminist agenda is that

Congresswoman Ortega-Cortez is the rightest of rights when she is full-on ranting about the fact that we are destroying our planet and the window to actually prevent our children from dying horribly in a natural disaster is closing. Her speech had the exact right emotional tone for the particular problem about which she was speaking, which is not the specter of drug addicts getting to eat or brown refugees walking our streets with their families intact, but is the nearly-foregone conclusion of our species’ extinction. 

I work in healthcare, and here’s the thing about that: it is very, very scary to acknowledge that you definitely will die, and it may be soon, and our bodies remind ourselves of that all the time, and hilariously enough, a lot of people make a lot of money selling us distractions from that fact and those distractions often accelerate the rate at which our bodies fail.

It sounds too horrible to say, this cigarette is directly increasing my odds of spending my last years unable to walk, incontinent, choking down liquids and cycling in and out of hospitals and nursing homes after my stroke. But it is actually true that smoking increases these odds of exactly this. It sounds equally horrible to say, my daughter might die in a flood or suffocated on the air or starved because of a worldwide famine before she reaches my age, but this, too, is not just a possibility but a likely natural conclusion of the trajectory we are on right now.

I completely understand the inclination to play Russian roulette with scary, painful truths, because I spent twenty years damaging my body in an effort to reassure myself that I could; that everything is okay and nothing is that scary, because look, I keep doing these things everyone told me would kill me, and I’m still here. It is tremendously reassuring, in a world where life is often very scary and confusing for even the most well-loved of us, this little performance of mastery over our collective fate that actually is just a grown-up way of closing our eyes against it. I thought all weekend about the finite nature of our lives, about our precarious existence, about how all we really have is the people we love and the moment we are living in, and then I snapped at my husband and my kids until they retreated under the covers with Youtube videos, because my homework was due and the night wasn’t getting any younger. Sometimes we’re petty precisely because really recognizing how precious and fragile our lives are is terrifying and we just need to watch a thing and not think about it.

People aren’t denying climate change, I don’t think, because they have thoughtfully weighed the evidence and determined that there really are two sides or the jury is still out. Because on the one hand you have over 97 percent of academic research that addresses the possibility of human-made climate change affirming that, yes, we are changing our climate, and on the other hand you have less than one percent  disagreeing. You can imagine the group of scientists who took the time to review almost twelve thousand articles — 66% of which did not even address the topic of climate change since scientists “generally focus their discussions on questions that are still disputed or unanswered rather than on matters about which everyone agrees” (Oreskes, 2007) — bitching to one another about the fact that this is even something they have to do, as if a group of loud people whose money and connections afforded them media time and United States presidencies had decided that gravity was “just a theory” and they needed “to hear both sides”. As they just come out and say towards the end of the paper, the appearance of debate over climate change is the results of specific, non-scientist agents (for example, the Western Fuels Association),  paying both marketers and the odd PhD eager to shill so hard, to intentionally generate  that very appearance among scared and busy people. Who wouldn’t prefer the appealing lie (our actions have no consequences! we can fix everything!) over the peer-reviewed and scientifically credible truth (essentially: nope)?

Those of us who are denying climate change are doing it because they like the other guy’s story better. And who wouldn’t? But that’s not how objective reality works.  

Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t need to “back up” her claim that we are in a state of emergency; that has been done, and done, and done again. And would-be moderates who want to give the appearance of even-handedness by criticizing her or the Green New Deal for its emotional energy and lack of nuance are perpetuating a completely inaccurate, but dangerously appealing, take on what is happening: that climate change is one political talking point among many and we have time to polish our proposals to address it until they are perfect and the moment is politically advantageous.

Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez is twenty-nine years old: she’s not speaking strategically, she’s speaking as the single person in that room who seemed to understand that we are all literally going to die if this isn’t addressed right now.

And it is not her responsibility to learn the system and determine the best way to solve climate change, for Chrissakes. There are four hundred thirty four  other Congresspeople and centuries of combined legislative experience to help her do that. She did her job, the most important one anyone has done in Congress that I can recall: she took the risk of pointing out, right now, when it is still possible to save our children’s lives, that their lives need saving, and we can fix the problem or we can pour our energy into emotionally gratifying but deeply nihilism project of denying reality or “taking a balanced approach”.

Democrats, listen: it will not matter if we win elections if we are all dead. We need to understand the existential dread underlying climate change denial, and then we need to broken-record, preschool-teacher, mom-AF that shit and just keep repeating the facts, the need, the urgency. We all need the reality of climate change to become as ubiquitous as the “border crisis” or the “silent majority”. I think if you take a stroll down memory lane you will find that the most resonant political “truths” have not been backed up by sophisticated analysis or a preponderance of scientific data (though, if that’s your thing, climate change has both)! In most cases, they haven’t even been true; they’ve just been things loud, dumb people have said a lot.

If we keep taking what we can get from our leaders, on either side, if we keep doing what we want and hoping for the best or focusing on “solve-able problems”, than you will die and I will die and everyone we both love will die because our planet will cease to be a place where people can live. When you’re diagnosed with cancer, you don’t refuse treatment because maybe, just maybe, the test was a false positive. You approach the diagnosis as though the data with which you’ve been presented with is true, or is likely enough to be true to necessitate action, however unpleasant. The Congresswoman, with her on-point lipliner and also her on-point assessment of the impending environmental devastation, is not all of us (we only wish). But she fucking should be.

[thespoonplayer]

(DJ) Spoon’s Review of 2018

This year I haven’t listened to much music at all, at least not in comparison to previous years and I certainly haven’t been to many gigs. I’m sure this won’t last but this year I’ve been busier at work so less likely to plug in, I’ve stuck to the radio in the car just to keep up with how messy Brexit really is (ooer a bit of politics) and my runs have been 100% fueled by podcasts so music has just taken a backseat. However, I couldn’t let the year go past without some kind of list...so here is a pot pourri of my favourite discoveries of 2018.

1. Podcasts

Seeing as these have been so important this year I’ll start here...and cheat slightly by bigging up some oldies, but good enough to bang on about again.

Old favourites : Running Commentary (Comedians Paul Tonkinson and Rob Deering take you on their runs and chat sometimes about running, but always about life, kids, comedy and anything that pops into their heads), Adam Buxton (always entertaining ramble chat from Dr Buckles whoever is on, I’ve learnt stuff and I’ve laughed a lot), My Dad Wrote a Porno (Sheer filth as ever but genuinely caused me to LOL during my runs, wondering if people can hear that I’m listening to chat about vaginal lids).

New entries : Off Menu (Ed Gamble and James Acaster opened their genie run fantasy restaurant a month ago and it has quickly become one of my favourite podcasts ever. Eclectic guests pick their fantasy 3 course meals, simple premise and it works. The Scroobius Pip episode was a perfect clash of two excellent pods), Blank (another late entry into 2018 from Jim Daly and Giles Paley-Phillips ostensibly about blank moments in life but just rammed with infotaining chat from ‘non standard’ guests including a jaw dropping episode with Michael Rosen and fun with Gary Lineker and Susie Dent), Poddin’ on the Ritz (sadly now finished with maybe its only series) this pod recorded backstage at Young Frankenstein by Hadley Fraser and the sublime Ross Noble made me laugh more than any other in 2018, it might be about musicals but their search for Kenneth Branagh’s snowglobes and Lesley Joseph adoration was a joy.

2. Board games

They say a family that plays together, stays together. Well we are together more than you can imagine. We’ve played over 220 games this year! Here are our favourite new games into our collection:

The game of the year is Azul, a seemingly simple tile grab and place game, building up a mosaic prettier than anyone else, is full of strategy and a little (but not too much) shafting of others. If you really want to shaft your fellow players though then pick up Unstable Unicorns, a card game where you aim to grow your stable of unicorns, whilst stopping others filling theirs. SO many different cards, tactics and ways to mess it up, you will swear at some point. Discovered in the excellent new board game cafe The Dice Box in Leamington, we bought Meeple Circus before we left, it’s that much fun. Rehearse and perform the best tiny wooden meeple circus performance, accompanied by a bespoke playlist. Stack the acrobats, balance the lions and raise the bar. Another board game cafe, Chance & Counters in Bristol introduced us to the frantic game of Klask, a cross between air hockey, pool and table football. Slide the magnets around to flick a ball into your opponents hole, avoid the magnetic biscuits and don’t KLASK! When is a game not a game? another game of the year has been played a lot in our house, and it’s The Mind. 100 cards numbered 1-100, no words between players and a tense task to lay cards in ascending order. Simple? yes? possible? nope! but it’s sure to cause fun and arguments. The final two of MY favourite sadly aren’t quite as loved by my family, but I’ll get them there. Sagrada is a similar game to Azul with you attempting to build a beautiful stained glass window with coloured dice. More variations and thinking needed than Azul which adds to the challenge. And finally and lovely chess like 2 player game which transports you to the sun dappled Greek island of Santorini. Take the powers of a god and build the traditional blue domed white houses of the island whilst trying to stop your opponent climbing onto a roof. A lot of ‘aha, you’ve stopped me’ moments.

3. TV

It’s been a long old year at work, and in the world of parenting so we’ve found ourselves flopped on the settee many evenings just soaking up great drama, comedy and chilling ;o)

We are very late to the party with Suits but that means we have 8 series to wade through! Really neat writing, bants and relationships between characters, a ‘don’t worry they will always win’ calmness about it and you get to see the Queen in her knickers...ish. Another Netflix treat this year was Magic for Humans with Justin Willman, a hugely likeable and funny magician pulling off tricks that constantly make me smirk with a huge dollop of WTF? amazing. A huge recommendation. A late entry to my TV highlights of 2018 is from the warped warped mind of Charlie Brooker...of course with Bandersnatch. An interactive choose your own adventure TV ‘event’ (I know) that had us hooked for the full 90 minutes (only if you want to see how much bloodshed you can invoke!). Completely on the other end of the spectrum was the sublime and minimalistic Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing. I don’t like fishing and why would I find two old mates just teasing each other for half an hour entertaining? No idea but it was beautiful. Like Radio 4, comforting and perfect. Then a few suspenseful dramas that got us on the edge of the settee, Killing Eve (quirky AF), Bodyguard (did they really kill Keely Hawes that early?) and Informer (bleak bleak bleak) and sweaty bullocks in ‘should be in the next section really’ Bird Box (made Informer seem like a giggle fest).

4. Films

Really haven’t been to the cinema much in the last 12 months and only once to see a ‘grown up’ film I think but kid’s films are SO good at the moment that’s ok. A few stand out films for me were:

Ralph Breaks the Internet, much better than the first one, lots of #lolz internet jokes and more than a little heart. Wrap me up in a duvet and give me a hot cocoa and Paddington 2 any day, tears at the end. A little more sighing but just as much emotion in Christopher Robin, not sure why Eeyore had an American accent but the characters were spot on and nicely faithful to the original concepts. The one time I did venture out for an adult (it’s a 12 so almost ;o) and saw Ready Player One I was delighted, yeah it might not be a) as good as or b) anything like the book but a visual treat and an enjoyable romp.

5. Books

I read A LOT, until my Kindle donks me on the head in bed anyway...literally a tiny selection of books that have kept me awake. 

The Secret Lives of Colour - Kassia St Clair. They say never judge a book by its cover. Well that didn’t work...I bought this purely because it is a beautiful package, the hardback a lot more pleasing imho. Simply 2 coloured pages about how each colour was discovered, invented and introduced throughout history. I never really gave it a thought that colours were...made. Weird and fascinating.

This Is Going to Hurt - Adam Kay. A hilarious ‘secret’ diary of a junior doctor that horrifies at the same time. I think we all knew it was a hard life but bloody hell, if you didn’t love the NHS before you will after this. A thoroughly enjoyable and insightful story of Adam’s journey through medicine. And that ending...wooof.

Moose Allain - I Wonder What I’m Thinking About. I love Moose, I love his colour-me-advent calendars, I love his tweet threads that show the best in Twitter, I love his cartoons and this book is all of those wrapped up in one. And a certain Mr Spoon is to thank for the publication, find me in the back of Unbound funders! An inspiring book for anyone who loves art, creativity and childish humour.

Factfulness : Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World - Hans Rosling. A brilliantly clever and educational book about why the world is NOT as shit as it might seem some times. It’s all backed up by real data and lovely lovely graphs!

Lee Child and Ian Rankin. A highlight of the year is the next Reacher and Rebus novels and these two didn’t disappoint. Rebus’ latest adventure Past Tense, is a self-contained story that could introduce anyone to the man machine that is Jack Reacher. Rebus however is back, retired but won’t lie down, in In A House of Lies, an old case comes back to haunt him and will this finally be his downfall? I doubt it!

6. Music

As mentioned, I haven’t ‘been into music’ as much in 2018 for various reasons but I’ve still enjoyed some great new discoveries:

Barns Courtney - The Attractions of Youth, discovered via the use of Glitter and Gold for the theme tune of Netflix’s Safe. An album of ‘cheesy, commercially viable blues and folk rock’ apparently. I just liked the visceral nature of some of the tracks and it always fired me up at work on slow days.

Isaac Gracie - Isaac Gracie, a rare listened to recommendation from my wife. Isaac is everything I claim to like, fragile thin sensitive boys with acoustic guitars....and I do very much with this. Painful screeched out tales of heartbreak. Sublime.

R.E.M. - Live at the BBC, 104 rare and live tracks from arguably one of the best bands ever. Some of the tracks I haven’t heard since my bootleg cassette buying days at Sheffield Uni, when the world was in black and white. Not all tracks are of the greatest audio quality but bliss for a fanboy like me.

Creep Show - Mr Dynamite, a spin off project for Mr John Grant and even from the eclectic crooner this is an odd one. Glitchy electronica with vocoders all over the place. Weird and very Marmite.

Public Service Broadcasting - Every Valley and everything else. The latest offering from the other PSB was a trip through the miner’s crisis and Thatcher years. Bleak? yup but fascinating snippets of well, public service broadcasting and guest stars including the obligatory Welsh rockers the Manics. This album is perfect by itself but it ‘forced’ me to go back and really discover all the PSB albums. The Live at Brixton release is a huge recommendation, I wish I was there.

Rex Orange County - Apricot Princess, maybe I just added this in to seem cool as Rex, aka Alexander O’Conner, was ‘one to watch in 2018′ from the BBC. A multi-instrumentalist that dabbles with hippity hop, R&B and piano pop. The first track alone contains about three musical styles if you wait. 

7. Food & Drink

I run, because I really like food. And thankfully I’ve run a lot in 2018 so I got to enjoy a lot.

I was introduced to the weird fermented tea monstrosity that is kombucha by my sister-in-law. Vinegar tasting drink that may or may not help your gut that grows in your living room. WTAF? However, health benefits aside the LA Brewery Strawberry and Black Pepper drink is something, alongside my pilgrimage to Leon, worth going to London for. I’ve heard it’s also for sale in Solihull but I don’t often travel that far beyond my class ;o) I’d say, try it...but I suspect 9/10 people with hate the flavour. 

I suspect 10/10 people that try the Aldi Black Forest Mince Pies would love them, but you won’t get a chance as I’ve bought them ALL. Aldi are a bugger for getting you hooked then never restocking. I only managed 10 boxes in 2018 and we’ve rationed well so have 12 left to get us through the bleak January weather. Cherries, Dark Chocolate, Chocolate pastry and a smidge of mincemeat. Perfect!

There are many ingredient delivery services available and I’ve only tried Gousto but I don’t know why you’d go anywhere else. 33 recipes tried and 32 of them I’d have again, with the one not so good one was still far better than anything I’d cook by myself. So easy, so tasty and if you want to try it I can give you a big discount that will help us buy another box, a tad expensive without a discount but worth a treat every so often.

Genuinely I traveled to London just to visit Max’s Sandwich Shop...kinda. It was certainly the deciding factor in a day out at the Summer Exhibition (see below). I downloaded the Kindle version of this book when it was promoted in an email, I bought some Scampi Fries and made a Fish Finger sandwich, I crumbled up some Ginger Nuts into a Mascarpone and Jam sandwich and I made a Fried Egg, Shoestring Fried and Gammon sandwich then I NEEDED to go and see how it’s really done. Amazing over the top sandwiches in a rough little hipster cafe in Stroud Green (no me neither and it’s a long walk from the tube!). So good I had to a) buy the hard copy of the book and b) carry half the sandwich home as even I couldn’t manage it all...not with deep fried macaroni balls filling me up ;o)

8. Places

A family that plays together, stays together as a great man once said. And we don’t just play inside, we love adventures so adventures we had.

I’d never been to the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition, as it’s in that there London which often seems hundreds of miles away...but I’m so glad that I visited this year. A trip with a good friend with neither of us knowing quite what to expect. We saw, and laughed, and marveled at, paintings, sculptures, videos, photos, models, and weirdness by Banksy next to Joe Lycett next to Grayson Perry next to Harry Hill, next to me mate Lorsen Camps from Coventry. The SA allows ANYONE to submit artwork for consideration and anyone can be accepted. I think this has to become a yearly visit, awesome.

My parents have been wanting to take our kids, and their big kid, to The Forbidden Corner in North Yorkshire for a few years now...and I’m so happy we finally got round to going. Started as a folly to entertain his children this huge labyrinthine site is crammed with strange sculptures, mazes, tricks and squirting fountains. Many hours were spent squeezing through holes, getting lost and getting wet. Beautifully eccentric.

A family holiday to Brittany meant we could visit the loopy city (it’s their phrase!) of Nantes and more importantly Les Machines d’Ile. Ostensibly the workshop of  a group of engineers and artists that make huge animatronic machines and animals...that you can ride on! Needs to be seen to be believed, the Elephant brings out the big kid in everyone...and we can’t wait to go back in a few years when they’ve built a huge forest over the river with ride on caterpillars and dragonfly. Incredible. The city itself is dotted with crazy art and interactive pieces encouraging play, I know a city closer to home that should be the UK Loopy City of Culture!

Luckily Tilly is a Harry Potter obsessive AND it was her birthday last year so it gave us the excuse we didn’t need to visit the Warner Brothers Harry Potter Studio Tour. Wow, just wow. The incredible detail in everything made for the film, the engineering, the amount of artists involved and the presentation of the exhibition blew us away. I’ve enjoyed everything in this list but this maybe was the most magical in the best way.

Many many amazing experiences warrant a mention, but I just don’t have enough words, include Talking Birds - Walk with Me, Print Manufactory Darkroom Workshop, Ludic Rooms Random String Festival, Go Karting with Tilly, some dancing balloons in Broadgate, Godiva Festival with Tony Christie et al, Bristol Gromit trail, Disc Golfing with my girls, Edinburgh Fringe with Dick and Dom and with another wonderful dick from Coventry starring in Bon Jovi musical We’ve Got Each Other, Pandas! at Edinburgh Zoo, Matilda the Musical with Tilly at last, running the Coventry Mile with the girls’ school, Dippy the Dinosaur in Brum, Wicksteed Park (amazing family fun theme park like what they used to be), Cycling on Stratford Greenway in the sun, Autotesting at MotoFest, Bourton-on-the-Water (it’s just a shame 3 million other people know about this gorgeous village), Giant Pac Man in the city centre, Pork Pie making with a good friend, CET several times, Novelty Automation in London and being on The One Show, a couple of Hope & Social gigs and much much much more fun with my wonderful fam and friends. Roll on 2019!