#i have no idea what spoilers tag we're using someone help

[death-himself]

just finished episode 3 here are my thoughts

also i wrote this first part at the end of my review, but I'm gonna move it here to the top because it got a bit long and I feel like it's more important to state than my review

overall, i feel like the issues i have with the show are more of a me issue. i feel like I (and a lot of us book fans honestly) were hyping up the show to be one-to-one with the book when it's been said by rick and a lot of people working on the show that it was more of a new rendition rather than an exact book-to-screen adaptation

i know that when i watched the first two episodes with my friends, they didn't see any of those issues because they hadn't read the books at all, or at least not in a long time

one example, the issue everyone has with gabe's characterization is one my friend didn't pick up on, she recognized from the start that gabe was abusive and said something like "I'm scared what he'll do to sally if she doesn't get that car back to him"

those of us who live and breathe the books recognize that he's "not as abusive" or that it's a different kind of abuse in the books, so the characterization threw us all off in a way that it didn't for people who haven't read the books

so going forward, i'm probably going to keep that more in mind with the series and reviewing it. i think from a plot standpoint, it still manages to stay true to the book in the ways that really matter, and even emphasizes a lot of the key themes of the book more clearly, while still being extremely different, and I honestly think that's pretty cool

with that being said, bullet point review under the cut (reminder I wrote this before writing the above section and don't plan on changing it)

to begin with, I'm gonna be honest, I feel like they're changing a lot more than I would prefer with the plot. I'm still enjoying the series a bunch, but the differences are very striking to me

now going in chronological order with the episode, percy's reaction to the oracle was pretty funny

the whole thing of gabe being the one to tell him the prophecy looked stupid, but I feel like there was no way to translate it from the book without it looking stupid. i feel like when he's told the prophecy in the book, the creepy description is what makes it feel serious and the weight of the prophecy makes you forget how it's being told, and I don't really think that translates very well to film

also in the book the words are very clearly not words that gabe would say, but I feel like the way the lines were delivered in the episode was a bit off, like it just sounded like gabe with nothing creepy about it

percy choosing annabeth instead of annabeth pretty much forcing herself into the quest is an interesting choice that I'm not sure if I like or hate yet

it feels like they're turning percy and annabeth more into enemies-to-lovers than it actually is in the books

I love grover so fuckin much, grover's never been one of my favorite characters, but disney series-wise, he's definitely my favorite so far

i don't know why, but the little pool in the center of the poseidon cabin is my favorite thing ever, it just feels right

percy and luke's talk in his cabin is just <3

also the way luke went "it's a gift...from my dad" i just felt the WEIGHT of that, everything that it meant

also looking back on that, i love how both annabeth's hat and luke's shoes show the different ways they react to a gift from their parents. the hat is annabeth's prized possession that she doesn't want to give up, while the first time we see luke's shoes he gives them away and clearly doesn't appreciate them as a gift

i loved it since we saw it in the trailer, but thalia's tree is so fuckin cool, i love that it straight up just looks like a person standing guard

also the way they're pronouncing thalia's name is giving me life, my brother made fun of me for pronouncing it that way as a kid and i started calling her talia but to know 10 year old me was RIGHT, incredible

grover's little song had me dying, and percy using that song later at aunty em's was hilarious

ANNABETH IN THE GAS STATION, she was so adorable, that scene owns my heart now. her just grabbing every flavor of that candy was so damn precious

I'm sad we didn't get to see the bus blown up, they could've made it such a funny scene. have the trio run to the woods like "wow I'm glad we got out of there alive" then they look over at the bus and it just explodes. that could've been peak comedy there

the whole talk between alecto and Annabeth was interesting, it does make sense for them to have some sort of history considering what happened with thalia, so i think that's a good change, makes things more interesting

the way they got to aunty em's kind of annoyed me, i feel like they could have easily shown a passage of time and had them get there in the same way as the books. idk, i really liked how they ended up there in the books because they were just hungry kids that wanted burgers

also alecto being there felt a bit weird to me

when i heard they were taking a more sympathetic approach to medusa, i honestly got really nervous for how that would turn out, but i think they handled it as well as they could have. i feel like they said it in a way where the story could have gone either way; one way where medusa was poseidon's girlfriend, and another way where she was tricked and raped by him

she also goes on to both call him a monster and say that they loved each other, so again, i feel like it could still go either way with those lines, though it probably leans more towards the girlfriend perspective (even though I'm pretty sure that's the less myth-accurate perspective, but when has pjo been myth-accurate)

the way they killed medusa TERRIFIED ME, like annabeth my girl, you realize how badly that could have turned out right, having an invisible medusa

also how did that help percy in the slightest, he was still attacking something he couldn't look at so...how did that help

I'm hoping alecto being petrified isn't permanent, hades had better bring her back, i liked alecto. also isn't she important to some part of the plot in a later book? she's the only fury i remember the name of so she has to be important right?

their argument in the basement was an interesting change, i feel like to me it kind of just felt like conflict for conflict's sake. i don't think they felt super in-character in that section. their friendship dynamic feels a bit off through most of this episode honestly, but i think their dynamic's gonna be perfect going forward now that they've gotten past that conflict

percy saying the "i am impertinent" line perfectly. that whole exchange felt like it was ripped right out of the book, i loved that

i know everyone's been shitting on lin manuel miranda being in the show, but i still love the man, and that end scene was incredible

him in the elevator was so funny, and you just know he loved percy shipping medusa's head to olympus, he thought that shit was hilarious

[loulovingho]

Tommy and Eddie's Wild Adventure

**If you start reading and feel a bit concerned, please scroll all the way to the bottom for tags/spoilers. Otherwise, enjoy the ride!** (read here or on ao3)

“I'm gonna get us an Uber,” Tommy said, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. He was a slightly off balance, the couple drinks he and Eddie had hitting him harder than usual tonight. Before he could get his phone unlocked, it slipped from his hand and directly down the drainage grate underneath him.

“Damn it!” He bent down to try and reach through the grate to get it. It was useless though. His hand was too big, plus the phone had already sunk beneath God knows how many feet of water and sludge.

“It's fine,” Eddie said, tapping his back. “We'll use mine.”

He started feeling around for his phone, then paused, his lips pursed together.

“What's wrong?” Tommy asked, standing back up.

“I don't have my phone. I must've left it at home.”

Tommy sighed, rolling his eyes. “Great! So we're stuck here then. We're gonna have to-”

“Tommy, shut up!” Eddie whisper-yelled, eyes wide as he gripped onto Tommy's shoulder.

“What? Eddie, what are you-”

“Shut. Up!” He demanded. He pointed behind Tommy. “Look!”

At the end of the parking lot there was a dumpster, mostly hidden out of view. There was a small amount of light that glowed from a nearby lamppost, just enough for Tommy and Eddie to see two men tossing what appeared to be a body into the dumpster.

Eddie nearly pushed Tommy behind a tree before hiding behind him, both boys holding their breath until the men drove off and they were alone in the parking lot.

“Oh my God,” Tommy said, eyes wide. “Oh my God.”

“Go, go!” Eddie pushed Tommy forward, following behind. They carefully but quickly made their way over to the dumpster, where a body laid on top of boxes and bags of garbage.

“We've gotta get her out!” Eddie said, already pushing himself up and into the dumpster. Once inside, he checked for a pulse. “She's gone,” he told Tommy.

He shook his head. “Damn it.”

Eddie hoisted the woman over his shoulder. Tommy reached out and grabbed onto her, pulling her out and onto the ground. He took Eddie's hand next and helped him out of the dumpster.

“What do we do?” Tommy asked, staring down at the blonde-haired woman.

“Call 911.”

Tommy huffed out a breath. “We don't have a phone, Eddie!”

“Well we can't just stand here,” Eddie replied. “The killers might come back.”

“Why would they come back?!”

“Have you never watched a Dateline? They come back to like admire their work, you know, like it's a trophy or something.”

Tommy looked around the area, searching for any possibility that someone was watching. “We've gotta go get help.”

“We can't just leave her here.”

“We don't have any other choice!”

“Shh!” Eddie waved his hands, getting Tommy to quiet down. “We- We'll take her.”

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Take her?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded. “Yeah, we take her with us. To the police station.”

“Just... We just carry the body all the way to the police station? That's like ten miles!”

“I think it's only eight.”

Tommy shook his head. “You're insane, Eddie!”

“You got a better idea?”

*****

“You know they've killed people for less than this,” Tommy said, gripping the woman's legs tightly.

“What? They have not.”

“Oh, yes they have! We get caught carrying this poor woman down the street and next thing you know, we're on death row being asked what our last words are.”

“Whoa!” Eddie exclaimed, his hand slipping from underneath the woman's arm. He adjusted her before continuing. “What would they be?”

“What would what be?”

“Your final words, Man. What would they be?”

“Jesus, Eddie, I don't know. Who thinks about that?”

“I know mine! Watch your step.”

Tommy looked back and took a step left to miss some trash on the ground. “So what are they then?”

“'La muerte es segura, pero su hora es incierta.' It's a Spanish proverb. At least, I think it is. My abuela used to say it.”

“What's it mean?”

“It means death is certain, but its hour is uncertain.”

Tommy stopped dead in his tracks, causing Eddie to nearly topple over the body.

“What the hell?” Eddie shrieked.

“Eddie, that's the stupidest last words I've ever heard.”

“What?! It is not!”

“Yeah, it is. First of all, you're about to get a lethal injection-”

“I'm choosing the electric chair.”

“Whatever. They're literally giving you an exact minute of your death, so your hour is very certain.”

“That's not-”

“And second,” Tommy continued, speaking over him. “You really want that to be the last thing Christopher hears coming out of your mouth? Before you're electrocuted in front of him? Really, Eddie? Think this through.”

“Christopher is not going to be at my electrocution, Tommy. I'll talk to him the day before.”

“Oh, he'll show up,” Tommy replied with absolute certainty. “He will show up.”

“Okay, fine, if my last words are so terrible, then tell me yours. Also, start walking again. She's heavy!”

Tommy rolled his eyes but resumed his walk. “I told you I haven't thought about it.”

“Well, get thinking. Final words. Go.”

“Okay, fine. First, lethal injection, because who the hell chooses electrocution, Man, come on! Second, Evan would be there, so I'd probably look at him and tell him he gave me the best years of my life.”

“Ew!” Eddie gagged. “That sucks. You suck!”

“It's better than your stupid proverb that doesn't make any sense. Okay, I gotta put her down for a second.”

They moved into a little alleyway and placed the woman down gently, then Tommy ran his arm over his forehead, wiping the sweat away. “There's gotta be an easier way to do this.”

Eddie peeked out of the alley, turning back quickly when he spotted people coming their way. “Act cool, act cool!” he exclaimed, leaning against the brick wall with one leg crossed over the other.

Tommy took a couple steps back, plastering himself against a dumpster with an elbow resting over the top.

The people passed without noticing them and they resumed their discussion.

“Okay, let's think, let's think,” Eddie said, bringing a hand to his chin. “Your phone is down a drain, mine is at home. We've got a body here that we can't leave behind, but it's too risky to keep walking along the street. Also, too painful.”

“Excellent recap,” Tommy deadpanned. “Can we start the episode now?”

“You know this attitude your giving is not helping,” Eddie said with a glare. “Why don't you come up with an idea?”

Tommy took a deep breath, then looked past Eddie out toward the street. “Taxi.”

“What is this, 1982? Come on-”

Tommy pointed behind Eddie, making him turn around. There was a taxi parked across the street, a group of women laughing and fixing their dresses as they exited.

“You distract, I'll put the body in the trunk,” Tommy decided, nodding at Eddie.

“Wait, what?”

“Go, Eddie! Before someone else gets the taxi. Go!”

*****

“And what's that button do?” Eddie asked.

“That's the button for the radio,” the taxi driver replied, giving Eddie an odd look. “Are you sure your friend doesn't need help with his luggage?”

“Oh, no, no. He's got it.”

Just then, the trunk slammed shut and Tommy was getting into the taxi. “Could you take us to-”

“Fountain Avenue,” Eddie interrupted. “Anywhere on the street is fine.”

“Sure thing.”

They settled into their seats as the driver headed off, Tommy staring over at Eddie. “The police station is two streets over from Fountain,” he whispered.

“I know. Going right to the police station will look suspicious. We'll walk there from Fountain.”

“They'll see Lillian before that.”

Eddie looked over at Tommy quizzically. “Lillian?”

“Yeah. Lillian.”

“Who the hell is Lillian?”

“Eddie,” Tommy gritted out, eyes darting back and forth from the driver to Eddie. “Lillian.”

“Oh! You mean the dead girl?”

Tommy gave Eddie a punch to the shoulder. “Lillian is our friend. That we're surprising. With the gift. In the trunk.”

“Okay, ow.” Eddie rubbed at the spot on his shoulder, leaning in closer to Tommy. “It's a codename. Got it.”

“Anyway, I think we should get closer to the station.”

“No. We'll deal with Lillian from Fountain. It'll be fine.”

“We're gonna get caught.”

“Then we'll explain.”

“I don't know how you explain that.”

“We'll tell them,” Eddie said in an annoyed tone, “the truth. That we found the bod- Lillian and didn't want to leave her.”

“O- Okay,” the driver interrupted, coming to a stop. “We are a- at your location, sirs.”

“Great!” Tommy clapped his hands together, smiling at the driver through the rearview. “Pop the trunk for me, please. Eddie, pay the man.”

“Oh, no! No payment necessary. I- It's my gift for the night.”

“You sure?” Eddie asked.

“Mhm. Please, it's fine.”

Eddie shrugged. “Alright. Thanks! Have a good night.”

*****

“I'm never going out with you again,” Tommy said, back in position with his hands under Lillian's shins. “I should have stayed home with Evan. My back will never recover.”

“Oh please, when did you become such an old man? I'm carrying most of the weight here anyway.”

“You are not!”

“I am too!”

“Okay, I'll just let her go then. You can carry her the rest of the way yourself.”

“Don't you dare, Thomas!”

“Don't you Thomas me, Edmundo! What the hell are we gonna say when we get to the police station?”

“I'll go in first,” Eddie said. “Explain everything. You stay outside with the body until I get you.”

“Me? Why don't you stay outside with the body?”

“Because you asked me what we were going to say when we get to the police station, which means you obviously have no idea what to say, and I can just bat my eyelashes and get the lady behind the desk to listen to my every word.”

“Assuming it's a lady behind the desk is very sexist.” Tommy pulled a hand away to wipe the sweat from his hand onto his jeans, then switched to do the same with the other hand. “It could be a very handsome gay man.”

“Okay, so I bat my eyelashes at the man behind the desk. For the love of God, walk faster, Man!”

“I've been the one walking backwards this whole time, you try it! Also, no offense, but I've seen your game with women, I do not trust your game with men.”

“Don't be an ass,” Eddie glared. “I could've gotten you if I wanted you.”

“Ha! Don't flatter yourself.”

Eddie stopped, mouth agape and clearly offended. “You're seriously trying to tell me that Buck could get you by injuring me and moan about trying to get your attention, but you think I have no game? You're crazy.”

“And you're chronically single.”

“Take that back!”

“Absolutely not!”

“Tommy, I swear to-”

The sound of a siren cut Eddie off. Bright, flashing red and blue lights pulled up beside them. They froze in place.

It took a couple of seconds, but soon enough the driver's door opened. They both had to squint to make out the figure coming toward them.

Athena.

The passenger door opened as well, and there came Buck, his hands tucked inside the hoodie he was wearing.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Athena asked. “We have been chasing your behinds half the night.”

“You're not gonna believe this-” Eddie started as Tommy spoke over him.

“Evan, I swear this isn't what you think-”

“Both of you, quiet!” Athena demanded.

“It looks like you're, uh, trying to carry a body to the police station,” Buck offered.

“Then... Then it's exactly what it looks like,” Tommy breathed out in relief.

Eddie, still holding the body from underneath her arms, moved closer to Buck and Athena, forcing Tommy to move as well. “We saw her get dumped and we didn't know what to do because Tommy lost his phone and I don't have mine. We couldn't just leave her there so we decided to bring her to the station ourselves.”

“You don't have your phone, huh? And it didn't occur to either of you two walk right back into the bar and ask to use their phone?” Athena questioned. “Any phone?”

Eddie lowered his head. “Can't say that it did.”

Athena took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “That body you're holding,” she said, pointing toward it. “That's a sex doll.”

Both Eddie and Tommy's eyes slowly turned to the doll. It took a few seconds for the realization to hit, but once it did, they both dropped it to the ground with a simultaneous, “Ew!”

“I gotta say,” Athena started, crossing her arms over her chest, “I don't usually see men your age getting drunk and pulling these types of dumbass stunts.”

“We're not drunk!” Eddie protested. “Just had a couple beers. Maybe someone drugged us!”

“I don't think so,” she answered, pulling a small memo pad from her back pocket. “We went and spoke with the bartender and he informed us you two started with a couple beers, then moved onto shots, then decided to try some specialty drinks and ended with something called a Fruity Tutti, which you apparently made up yourselves.”

“That... That does sound vaguely familiar,” Tommy said, his hands going to his hips.

Eddie smacked a couple times. “Is that why mouth tastes like an entire packet of lifesavers?”

“How did you guys find us?” Tommy asked.

“Eddie's phone.”

Eddie's eyebrows furrowed. “I told you I don't have my phone.”

“Yeah, you do,” Buck said with a nod. “It's how we tracked you.”

“Guys, I'm telling you, I do not have my phone!”

Tommy moved toward Eddie, peering around him to look in his back pocket. He reached around and grabbed at something before holding it out in front of Eddie.

“Well look at that!” Eddie smiled as he took his phone from Tommy. “My phone!”

“You butt dialed me twice,” Buck explained. “When I overheard you two talking about finding a body and trying to carry it to the police station, I figured I better give Athena a call.”

“And as it turns out,” Athena continued, “the driver from the taxi you two were in also called the police, because, and I quote, “Two men were in the backseat of my cab, loudly whispering about a body they had put in my trunk.” Poor man was too scared to call the police until you had left.”

“You two were also carrying the doll through the streets of Los Angeles on a Saturday night,” Buck informed them. “Dispatch got lots of calls from concerned citizens.”

Eddie sighed. “I didn't think anyone saw us.”

“Oh no, the majority of the county did,” Athena replied. “Come on, boys,” she said, taking a step back and waving them toward her car. “This'll all have to be explained again in the morning. Let's get you home.”

“Can I go to you guys' place?” Eddie asked, pouting. “My home is so far.”

“Your home is ten minutes from ours,” Buck reminded him. “But it's late- or early- and I'm tired, so yes, you can. Athena's gonna take us. Let's get in the SUV.”

“Oh, Evan, can we snuggle?” Tommy asked, moving toward Buck and draping an arm over his shoulder, leaning in close. “I love to snuggle.”

“Gross,” Eddie whined. “I get shoved in a guest room while you two get it on two doors down.”

“Nobody will be getting it on tonight,” Buck assured him.

“Hey, if you want snuggles you can bring Lillian,” Tommy said, gazing down at the doll. “She will give snuggles.”

When Eddie stared down at it for a bit too long, Buck reached over and gave him a smack to the back of the head. “You're not bringing the doll. Come on, let's go.” He grabbed at Eddie's shirt, pulling him away from the doll. “Now!”

*****

When Athena pulled up to Buck and Tommy's place she got out and helped bring the boys into the house. Eddie leaned on her while Tommy leaned on Buck.

They headed for the guest room first, Eddie plopping onto the bed with his shoes still on.

“Absolutely not,” Buck said, helping Tommy to rest against the doorframe so he could go over and pull off Eddie's shoes.

Once they were off, Athena helped Buck maneuver Eddie so they could pull the comforter down from under him.

“God, I'm tired,” Tommy mumbled. He toed off his own shoes and walked over the other side of the bed, falling down face first against the pillow.

“Tommy!” Buck exclaimed. “This isn't our room.”

“Sleepy, Evan,” Tommy murmured into the pillow. “So sleepy.”

“Okay, well, you can go to sleep in our room,” he replied, pulling on Tommy's arm.

Tommy groaned, causing Eddie to open one eye and glare over at Buck. “Just leave him. God, he's so whiny!”

Tommy threw his arm out, shoving over at Eddie. “You're whiny!”

Eddie reached over and shoved back. “You are!”

“Boys, I have a gun!” Athena yelled, causing them to stop immediately. They both drew their arms in and away from each other, but refused to move otherwise.

Athena looked over at Buck. “Should we try to get Tommy up?” she asked.

Both boys breathing had already started to even out, clearly falling into a deep sleep.

“Eh, leave him,” Buck decided, tossing the comforter over them. “They can puke on each other.”

.

.

**tags/spoilers: there is no actual death involved in this story. the boys are very drunk.**

[snapscube]

In Dawntrail did you enjoy a different character playing the main role, or do you prefer when the player character is leading the narrative?

this is definitely a major point of contention in the fanbase rn and i can generally see valid feelings/criticism on both ends of the spectrum. i myself do fall somewhere in between the most extreme takes on this. i won't go into too much detail about actual events but ill tag this as spoilers anyway just in case. ok so my thoughts are:

firstly, i like Wuk Lamat a lot. i don't think she deserves even half of the pure unfiltered ire that she is receiving from a large subset of the community rn. the amount of people who have already turned being a wuk lamat hater into an advertised personality trait really frustrates me. i really enjoyed seeing her personal journey through the story and i was overall very satisfied by her inclusion. however, i do not think the story was perfectly paced or balanced, and i definitely do understand where people are coming from when they say that they could have used a little less of her in the forefront. honestly it did kind of ultimately disappoint me that we missed out on a lot of potential interaction/development with someone like Krile, who in spite of being promised a big breakout role in this expansion still somewhat felt like a SLIGHT (i have to stress slight) afterthought. she did get some notable moments of development and emotion, but i feel like there could have been more.

okay but, your question is about our role as a player in the narrative. i hold the opinion that for THIS EXPANSION SPECIFICALLY, the warrior of light taking somewhat of a narrative backseat actually made a ton of sense and fit the themes of the narrative as well as the promise of a somewhat breezy summer vacation for our heroes. now, i will say this: i really do not agree with the idea that the WoL should be in a mentor role indefinitely because our story is done developing and we need to give the spotlight to "the next generation" of heroes in the world. i appreciate the SENTIMENT of this, but like for me personally.... i don't want Pella's story to be done, yknow? i definitely would be disappointed if this was the DE FACTO role she played in every expansion past this. but i don't even think that is factually what's going to happen. we're currently in a setup phase! and, again, bringing it back to this narrative and the themes within, a lot of Dawntrail about the experience of entering unfamiliar places and learning about the customs and the traditions of people already within it to best help them without unwelcomely trampling on their culture in the process. i think a story like that is the PERFECT time for the WoL to take a bit of a backseat. wuk lamat is also somewhat unfamilar like us yes, but Tural is still her home and she is about to be tasked with leading it. i feel like centering our character in that equation would feel.... really disingenuous? it was kinda frustrating sometimes when it felt like hey.... there's a situation happening right now that can be solved by skilled combat and you have a literally god killer standing right here doing a frown emote, but at a certain point i could chalk it up to growing pains or necessary suspension of disbelief in the interest of the overall emotional hook of the narrative. a lot of those moments could be explained away with enough thought about the character motivations and culture at play, though sometimes it does feel like a stretch. again, far from a perfectly written MSQ. it starts slow and it's messy and it throws a LOT of stuff at you that doesn't always pay off like you expect or want. but i dunno! i think we're gonna see some really interesting stuff come to the forefront in the future, and i think especially now knowing that much of the playerbase thought we took TOO much of a backseat here CS3 will probably adjust their focus accordingly next time. so i can't be too upset really about the stuff i wasn't into. the rest of it was great imo!

[angelofchaos001]

Meet Shale!

Okay I made a proper introductory post for Shale! (Schist will come once I figure out their design) I'll make them a separate post for all the dialogue I came up with.

some spoilers for the game but not a lot, also tagging time: @doodlebug091 @mellow-mooon @sawyer-is-eepy @a-crawling-chaos (Just poking at my followers/moots who I know like Outer Wilds)

Alright! Let's start the bidding at this beauty of a reference. I know it's got some messy colors and no I don't know which layer the two random dots are on to erase them, but I'm proud because I drew this without needing to reference someone else's posing art. I just used my own arms and legs to figure it out and winged it and it looks like a person. I'm proud.

While we're on the topic, I might as well discuss my thought process for their design. This is Shale when they're not busy exploring dangerous ice asteroids. I tried to make the design look comfortable, and that's the main thought behind it. Shale likes scarves. They like fingerless gloves. They like baggier shorts. They despise long pants. They don't like wearing bright colors. They like grays and browns. It's Shale in their peak of comfort.

And then we've got this one! Also done without a pose reference. I actually did draw a whole spacesuit originally, but then covered it up with that big coat they're wearing. Anyway, Shale's suit is designed to be bulky, thick, insulted, everything they'd need to explore space properly. But to add onto that, they brought the scarf and coat for extra warmth on the Interloper. A lot of their patchwork fixes were done by them on the fly, and they even made their viola case all on their own. Shale uses yellow as their bright coloration because they hate the color orange. They have a ton of rope, ice picks, and grippy boots because they knew they were going to an ice place. And that antennae on their helmet is meant to pick up distant signals, so far it has not picked up anything new.

Now it's time for what nobody came here for, the infodump about their history and personality!

Shale developed a fascination with space at a very young age. Extremely young. All it took was young Shale getting one look through a telescope to become completely obsessed with the idea that they, someday, would join the well-known travelers out there and do something legendary. Sometimes, when things lined up right, Shale got to opportunity to talk to the travelers over radio. They loved hearing stories of Feldspar's glory and dreamed to be immortalized like they were.

Once they were allowed to join Outer Wilds Ventures and start learning how to be an astronaut, Shale wasted no time being both a delight to teach and an absolute headache to watch over. Whenever they weren't learning or doing their part in the village (Shale helped keep the observatory clean), they were working on their own little project. With some help from Slate, they attempted to make a jetpack just like the spacesuits had. They got precisely two attempts at this before they were shut down, but the first attempt went off mostly fine. Despite the device not working, Shale landed mostly safely in the water and their only injuries were some scrapes and a sprained ankle.

Shale never stopped writing new ideas, but didn't physically attempt any more jetpacks for a while. Instead, they focused on studying and getting closer to the other trainees they were learning alongside. They did grow close to the protagonist, and another recruit named Tin, though weren't able to click as well with the slightly older hearthians, Schist and Bismuth. Most of their time was still spent with their mentors, but whenever hatchling wasn't working with Hal on the translator, Shale liked to be around them.

When they were a little older and nearing the end of their training, Shale made their second attempt at the jetpack, and came out with a promising result. However, this attempt went far poorer than the previous one. For one, they moved the attempt location to avoid being caught by anyone, sneaking away to some of the further-out geysers with Tin (in case something impossibly went wrong). They even snuck a spacesuit (yoinked from the Zero-G cave), since their plan was to launch from a geyser and leave the planet, just for a moment (They didn't take the jetpack there because the entire point here was testing theirs).

The plan went smoothly, with Shale indeed getting launched from the geyser and coming close to leaving the orbit of the planet, except for the part where their jetpack failed. Catastrophically. It actually exploded on their back, pretty much destroying the "borrowed" suit, but more critically, burning Shale badly. Luckily, they had brought someone else with them, so Tin was able to (try and) catch them so the fall wouldn't kill 'em and then get help for them.

Shale got taken to be medically treated, and everyone agrees they're incredibly lucky to have survived as well as they did. In spite of the massive burns, the suit protected them from the worst of it and it was really only their back that got hurt severely. While the smaller burns along their neck and arms healed fine, much of their back burns scarred and took a lot of time and effort to heal.

So. Obviously Shale got in massive trouble.

Such trouble that not only did they move their launch date back (both for recovery reasons and punishment reasons) significantly, but the others considered forcing Shale out of the space program. In the end, Shale was allowed to stay a recruit as long as they 1) Did not try that again 2) Agreed not to sneak around again 3) Helped repair the suit they'd broken and 4) Spent some time after healing not being in the program (think getting suspended). While in this suspension period, Shale got to watch Schist launch off, still fantasizing about that being them.

Shortly after Schist was Bismuth, and as Shale's own launch date approached they were eager. Tin launched a few days before their own, and so Shale spent a lot of time reassuring them that it'd be fine and they'd do great things. Eventually, it was finally Shale's turn. After camping with Slate (and having an amazing conversation about 'Why did you do the stupid thing' - 'Why did you let me do the stupid thing'), they set off for their ambition: The Interloper. They were determined to find out where it came from.

This ambition proved harder than they'd thought, but it didn't deter Shale from their goal. They became an avid studier of ghost matter by extension of their Interloper studies, and theorized a lot about what happened to the core of the asteroid and it's origins. They also spent some time studying how to make ships designed for deep space, hoping that the frozen Nomai ship they found on the asteroid could hold the answer for that.

Some time later, Tin sent everyone frantic radio messages to come back to Timber Hearth and that they'd discovered something new. Tin desperately tried to explain how they'd found a new hidden spinning disk thing, but as time passed with Tin being unable to provide real evidence, Hearthians began dismissing their claims. Shale was one of the last to give up on Tin's ideas, but eventually waved them off as mad like everyone else. They feel bad for Tin and their situation, but don't disagree with their grounding and truly believe their friend went a little crazy.

After that, some time passed, and then we hit the events of the game. They did radio Hatchling plenty of reassuring words before their launch, though!

[illegiblewords]

Serious talk about meta under the cut.

I don't know who might need to hear it, but fwiw mental flexibility is a huge part of analysis (and interacting with other humans lol). You need to be able to account for multiple possibilities when examining a work, or understanding a social exchange. You need to be able to separate what is objective fact from your own subjective interpretation and judgment. The most negative interpretation is not automatically the most worthwhile or true. Someone throwing accusations around in-line with their own worst interpretations does not guarantee those accusations are warranted. You are not a bad or stupid person for disagreeing. Shit needs to withstand scrutiny. I don't always strike the right balance myself. I do the best I can but I'm definitely not perfect. Tbh I'm not beyond pettiness either--although I try to keep that out of actual analysis lol. There have been times I've griped to friends privately or blogged about how I felt (sans tags, with spoiler blocks so people can opt out). I've griped recently. I'm bound to gripe again in the future. Some level of griping is inevitable imo and I figure no one is 100% immune.

All that said, even if someone’s take isn't canon AND even if it's something I really dislike--I'd personally rather people follow their passions anyway. Hands down. I could be in the middle of a rant and my answer would still be that the subject of my frustration gets to exist. I'm not the boss and odds are we're going with different versions in our own heads. Discouraging another fan from creating due to my preferences or narrative approach would horrify me. I've seen fandoms where gatekeeping like that killed the creative community and it was fucking awful.

Not everyone is confident in their own judgment. Not everyone faced with a pissed off person trying to use lore and accusations like clubs will feel okay continuing with their own vision. Elitism and manipulation (especially through rhetoric) can be present within analysis. People are not being taught how to recognize those things properly. Analysts aren't always aware or invested enough to even be careful. It’s legit easy to get caught up in ideas or feelings to the point of forgetting about other people’s, and adjusting to account for alternate approaches takes some work. For me at least, I think having a 'no insults' policy and being super careful when it comes to absolute claims (assertions not qualified by 'I think' or 'it could be argued') helps.

Anyway. Just because a person calls something ‘meaningless’ doesn't make it meaningless. Someone pooh-poohing an observation you made doesn't make your observation less true or important. Employing a literary term doesn't mean that individual actually understands the term, how it works, or how to apply it. Which is to say nothing of romantic chemistry or whatever. I encourage readers to extrapolate on this. ‘Shallow’ could apply as much as ‘meaningless’. Denying parallels exist by itself doesn’t actually negate those parallels. Your version of a character may not be the same as the fan next to you’s and that difference doesn't have to detract. There's more I could say on the subject (I've edited out a lot) but basically--just because another fan isn't into what you're doing doesn't automatically make what you're doing wrong, immoral, shoddy, or otherwise less.

Seriously, vet shit. Question the entire premise an analyst tries to establish then decide for yourself if it holds water. Turn over word choices and assertions in your head before deciding if they're appropriate. Do it to me too. I don't care if someone is the holy goddamn emperor of analysts. Just because a person says something is good or bad, true or false, whatever the hell doesn't make it so. Just because a person uses a technical term doesn't mean they're discussing it effectively. Quality of argument matters beyond the packaging it’s wrapped in. It's important to protect yourself from people whose priority is enforcing their own preferences, including dismissing things they aren't partial to.

I just don't want anyone shamed silent man. Not even people whose takes drive me up the fucking wall. Neither I nor any other analyst is an authority here. And there are people who are absolutely ready to take advantage of other people’s insecurities to assert themselves. Might not even be malicious, just indifferent.

For me, analysis feels kind of like uncovering a dinosaur skeleton. I want to share the cool and exciting things I find with other people. Sometimes I might be sorting out what my own thoughts and feelings are. It's also possible to examine why you're uncomfortable with something, or why you love something another person hates, while making very clear what is YOUR READING and not THE READING. Offering a variety of possibilities is very different from presenting yourself as the only correct one. One note at the end when everything else was insulting and intolerant is like a band-aid over a wound.

EDIT: As a last point, that I'm throwing in just-in-case. If anyone reading this thinks they may have overreached and done stuff I've mentioned + feels shitty about it… that's still not the end of the world. It’s okay. This is hard stuff to learn and I really don't think anyone's perfect at it. Worth the effort though. Just gotta take a deep breath, acknowledge you're a fallible human same as everyone else, and do the best you can going forward. Life goes on.

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

Episode 3x6 Live Reaction / Thoughts

AHHHH it's Trevor's Episode and I was SO worried I was going to miss it live. And then be spoiled because people don't use the spoiler tag.

but I'm here, baby!

OOOOh, Snow! So we're looking at like January?

DINOS!!! Isaac doesn't know they're real.

Love Sass.

AW HOW DID Trevor not know about this??

I'm sad that Jeremy isn't a twin. But awww, Jeremy wanted to believe he wasn't gone. Also, why bring up the memorial? I guess it makes sense. I do like the idea that he WASN"T Ready to say goodbye yet.

Oh, Carol... caves? Flirting? What is this????

Aw, Sass/Thor supporting Pete. LOUD MUSIC????

Sass - NOT WATCHING THEM PLAY HIDE THE ARROW.

LOL Sass/Hetty winning and funny.

That's WEIRD! Trevor's in denial.

Awwww, Jeremy got fired. Trevor is so confused. Jay let him down.

Trevor's like - you two are not helping.

Carol trying to get Pete to cave. OMG. SUCKING FINGERS.

Trevor just following J-dog around. OMG YOUNG TREVOR. That was NOT a great casting choice. T-Money BEFORE college.

OMG BAD JEREMY.

Trevor's just excited to see his brother so he doesn't even feel bad for Sam/Jay - > TBF he has earned them a lot of money recently.

It's interesting that Hetty's around a bit despite saying "oh no there's another one" at the start.

Awww Trevor's like "keep him." All he wants is to see his brother.

Isaac's excitement about the meterior. Hetty's story about the rats.

Awwww Trevor. :(

LMAO at Sass/Thor at Pete's WE'RE BACK TOGETHER.

Isaac with the Dino book. So silly.

Trying to smoke him out. Trevor's excited! AHHHHH Trevor's face at Hetty. That was great!

LOL at Jeremy being the world record holder. Trevor's excitement at this! He's just so happy. Honestly, poor Trevor - no one's being supportive of his want to get to know his brother - AND he hasn't even done that thing that the other ghosts have done - focusing Sam to be weird with questions.

Also Jdog didn't find it weird that Sam looked up at Sass?

NO you can't use the ghosts to cheat! I will be very upset if they do it. They should be loyal to Trevor here!

Also, Carol trying to get with Thor! OMG.

Loyalty test!

LOL THOR.

I hate Hetty and Isaac and Sam and Jay cheating with the game.

LOL at Isaac's plot and fail.

OMG Pete is in such denial. THOR SLEPT WITH CAROL???

"Nothing wrong with enjoying your job."

YAY! PETE YELLING AND STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF. PUNCHING THOR!!!

LOL - at Hetty getting into it.

Awww, Jeremy got fired for not taking over the company. Because he thinks he was just being nice.

Awwww, this Trevor being like so supportive. And giving the play away.

Isaac being like WHY NOT HELP???

OMG TREVOR Giving him a wet willy!!! And Sam says "Thanks Trevor" and claiming she calls Jay that! OMG.

see if Jay had followed up at the beginning then they wouldn't have had to deal with the stress of someone trying to stay forever.

"Heaven on Earth" -> commercial. "Sucks for ghosts in purgatory."

Pete's afraid! Thor APOLOGIZE! He likes the physical violence.

AWWWWW Trevor is still supportive. LOL Jeremy not being understanding.

LOL Isaac and stupid dinos and everyone walking away in different directions.

OKAY OKAY> WHY WAS JEREMY NOT WONDERING WTF HAPPENED with the wet willy??? Why was there no back and forth with Trevor having Sam ask questions??? WHY didn't Jeremy get to know something!!!!

I do like the episode but I think there was so many possibilities.

[fountainpenguin]

Do you have any Hazel fics in the works?

I do, but none I expect to post for a quite a while.

I'm doing the Dimmadome story set-up first since Dale is the main bridge between Cloudlands and City Lights AUs (He and Hadley are the only characters who are the same in both AUs; everyone else, including Cosmo and Wanda, have completely different story directions - Poof and Peri are especially different due to aging differently - so Dale is really the only canon character who makes that easy bridge leap for me).

I guess Doug technically does too, but he's such a minor character that he hardly counts

I talked more about this in the City Lights AU Guide, but I'm doing the Dimmadome arc in the "50 Words" style all the way from Dale's childhood to Dev's young adult years. This builds the skeleton of the AU so we know where we came from and where we're going... very useful for my character profiles that would otherwise have spoilers; Dev's for example won't be posted until the end of this.

Then we'll circle back to fluffier things, including a multichapter called An Old Wish (Dev and Peri and their attempts to win Dale's love with magic), plus separate stories for the Wells family, Hazel, and her friends.

I do also have space in the 130 Prompts for her (specifically, after the next two prompts on our list), and I've loosely planned to include her there, but no promises. [Non-Cloudlands AU, obviously]

I'm doing it this way so I can outline Dimmadelphia founder history (via Dimmadome family) so I know my setting well, and I'd like to know if we're getting a Season 2 before I do much with Hazel. Due to the existence of my OC Hadley and my pre-established plan to have her marry Dale, the Dimmadome content was going to be AU from A New Wish no matter what.

With the Wells family, I might hold out until we know more about Hazel's extended family (Ex: cousins and grandparents) before I do things like make the Wells family tree. If we don't get a Season 2, I have free reign with those things, and if we do get a Season 2, then I can consider what pace I want to go.

- I don't mind populating her family with my own OCs, but I don't write many standalone one-offs; I prefer multiple works that build on each other in a single consistent canon. I want to be thoughtful about what I "lock myself into" writing for the next however many years of my life.

So, that's where I'm at. I'd like to do a pre-Dimmadelphia story for Hazel about her life before she moved... which is a topic I think Season 2 might explore.

We know she came from "the suburbs," but if they reveal she had a best friend she left behind, I'd rather write the canon character than make up one. Canon character tags will help more people find the story, and I might genuinely like the characters from her past (if any), so I don't want to spend my time and energy there while canon's ongoing.

I do have a Wells family draft I worked on during October. It's Angela-centric, focusing on her and Marcus during Hazel's early years. That said, it's a little too personal to me and I don't feel comfortable posting it to the public. Honestly, I may not ever share this one, and that's fine- I write for me.

I have several Hazel AU thoughts that I don't want to share yet because the outlines are rough (and might be scrapped), and I don't want to build false hype. I'm more likely to post these Hazel AU ideas - i.e. things that go in the Off the Rails series (for misc. AUs) - than I am to post Hazel-centric works in City Lights AU right now.

On the topic of Hazel, I did have someone ask a while ago why I used Dev and his parents as the cover image for City Lights AU and not Hazel. I did that because:

- I'd already drawn Hazel as the cover image character for the Off the Rails series, so I wanted to draw someone different (Same reason I used Cavatina and Anti-Wanda in the 130 Prompts cover instead of H.P. and Anti-Cosmo to represent Pixie and Anti-Fairy stories, because H.P. and A.C. are the cover characters for Origin and Knots). - I wanted three character pictures for the image so I could use red, yellow, and green blob backgrounds to mimic traffic lights (to fit the city theme). - There will be many Dimmadome works early, with Hazel works posted later. Dev and his parents felt more applicable than Hazel on that particular image. - My OC Hadley marries Dale, and this is something unique to my AU. City Lights doesn't have a special world-bending characteristic, so having an OC on the image may help people identify this AU better than Hazel alone.

I've not been asked this, but it's something I want to clarify in case anyone's been thinking it: the reason why Hazel isn't on Cosmo and Wanda's relationship chart on their sideblog profiles.

- The sideblog is for Cloudlands AU content, although a profile may mention how a character changes in a certain AU. A New Wish is a spin-off show, so it's not part of Cloudlands canon. - Hazel is a City Lights AU character. Cloud!Cosmo and Cloud!Wanda don't have a relationship with her. They're godparents to Tommy and Tammy during that time (in line with the "Channel Chasers" ending). -> I drew an image of my AUs HERE to give a visual for how City Lights branches off from Cloudlands (and where other AUs exist in relation to it). - I imagine Hazel does exist in Cloudlands AU, but she'll never be mentioned because she's a spin-off character. A New Wish is not canon with Cloudlands AU. -> She's there in the same way Viv and Roy are there: Technically they exist because I included them on the Turner family tree, and they might appear in a family reunion story, but "Fairly Odder" isn't canon in Cloudlands AU. -> In my timeline, Antony is born shortly after time is unfrozen. I opted for Angela and Marcus to be in a long-term honeymoon phase with no non-aging babies to care for. -> Hazel is born around the time Tammy and Tommy are, but I don't plan to include her because we don't know where she was born. If we find out she was born in Dimmsdale, then she'll possibly appear in Cloudlands AU, but only in her early years. Cloud!Cosmo and Wanda don't move to Dimmadelphia.

tl;dr - I do have Hazel thoughts in my head, but I don't expect to post them soon.

Thus far, she's appeared in my posted work "50 Words of Dev and Hazel." I'd like to do more relationship studies (Namely "50 Words of Hazel and Antony" & "50 Words of Wells" for their family, plus "50 Words of Hazel, Jasmine, and Winn" or individual stories for their duos), but I'm waiting for Season 2 news so I can decide if I want to use its canon.

-> Season 2 might also bring us more info on Wells and Jasmine's families, so I can write sleepover stories and house visits using canon family members instead of creating OCs. I don't mind creating OCs, but I'd be sad if I loved the canon characters and had already written Tran & Harper family stories that exclude them (or if they have single parent, stepfamilies, or adoption plotlines I want to explore).

-> It was an easy decision not to keep the Dimmadomes close to canon because I had a pre-existing OC married to Dale, and the OC is obviously not going to appear in canon. Thus, I didn't mind not waiting for Season 2 news to plan their family relationships. My Dimmadome works are helping me shape Dimmadelphia and its history before I add Hazel and her friends' families, but I do plan circle back to Hazel and the Wells family when I'm ready.

- Obligatory reminder that Cloudlands AU is my primary AU and is much higher priority than my City Lights works.

I do have some Hazel ideas that excite me, but I can only write so many things at once, so we'll get there when we get there. Some Hazel things might be posted in Off the Rails before I do stuff with her in City Lights.

[eight-freakin-gids]

Horror Double Feature Review: Longlegs and Angel Hare

      I think I really like comparing and contrasting things. All the great (and bad) stories I get to experience, I don't always feel compelled to review them. But give me two things to review at the same time? Now we're talking. Compared to my previous review about Another Crab's Treasure and Slay the Princess, at least there's more overlap between these two stories. I won't be summarizing, but I will talk about some story spoilers. 

      I'll tag this with trigger warnings, but I briefly mention death and suicide in this review. I'll also be talking about Christianity, if that's something you don't care to read about.

      So the other day I watched the film Longlegs, and in short I found it average. I didn't really know much going into it, aside from what my sister had told me about the film's marketing. That, and that Nicholas Cage was in it.

      Ultimately, I do have quite a bit to say to this film's credit. Everyone who contributed to the look of this film really outdid themselves. There are so many shots in this film that make viewers uneasy in subtle and interesting ways. To sum it up in one word, I'd call it vulnerability. We've got a number of claustrophobic environments, but there are also so many scenes depicting characters in open spaces with their backs exposed. The example that sticks with me the most sees our protagonist in her home sitting at a desk while an open doorframe to the kitchen looms ominously in the background. We see this shot before and after learning that someone has intruded in her home, so the doorframe dares you to keep your eyes on it in case anything approaches. Nowhere in this movie feels safe, and it feels as if danger could appear from anywhere at any time. Fortunately, the film doesn't use this tension to jumpscare you every 5 minutes. It knows when to withhold its scares, waiting for you to grow accustomed to the tension and finally let your guard down before pulling the rug out from under you.

      I'm relatively new to horror as a genre, so I don't know if these are common tropes or not. Whether or not I'm Boss Baby-ing this movie, I can at least say I think these are ideas that were well implemented.

      That being said, there were some more obvious tropes that were not implemented well. While it was used sparingly, we're not free from the loud, stock horror violin stings used to create shock in scenes that didn't need help being shocking. But perhaps the most egregious trope was the twist that Satan was the driving supernatural force for the story all along.

      I like to see horror movies explore Christian themes, when it's done well. I'd say this was not done well. We begin the story with an intriguing mystery: how does this serial killer force families to commit murder-suicide, all the while they never set foot in the family's home? With such a mystery, I don't blame this film for taking a supernatural angle, but I do blame them for doing it in an underwhelming way. It would have been interesting and much more terrifying to explore the awful, depraved things that anyone is capable of when they're pushed to do so— to challenge the viewers on the notion that "Oh, I could never do anything bad. I'm a good person!" I believe that everyone is equally capable of doing good and bad things, but this movie implies that people only do bad things if they worship Satan or are under the direct, forceful influence of Satan. 

      Sure, they do touch upon the idea that people will go to extreme lengths to protect the people they love. (The biggest spoiler is inbound, if you got this far but feel like jumping ship now. Or you could jump to the next paragraph and keep reading.) We learn that the protagonist's mother has been aiding the serial killer the whole time, and that she chose to do so in order to spare her daughter from being killed by Satan and his fanboy. However, by the end of the movie, the mother is just a full-blown Satanist for some reason. I guess you kill enough people, and you just decide this Satan guy isn't so bad? No nuance about evils committed in the name of love, just evil because it's evil. I don't feel this, or any of the uses of Satan in this movie were well executed. I think some of these problems could have been avoided if they had unpacked these ideas a bit more, but alas. 

      This is perhaps subjective, but it's the way I feel. And ultimately, this is why I chose to review Longlegs alongside Angel Hare. They're both horror stories with Christian themes, and I feel that one handles those themes much better than the other. Moreover, my subjective opinion on each story contributes a lot to my enjoyment of the story (or lack thereof).

      Angel Hare is somewhat strange for a horror series. The opening episodes are well executed to be unnerving and deliver some haunting revelations, but the story progresses from there in an oddly wholesome way. Personally, I enjoyed this transition quite a bit. The wholesomeness of Angel Hare does depend on your particular read on the story, however.

      After watching Angel Hare, I watched a few different videos to see what others had to say on the series. I suppose I was looking for answers. Is this story really wholesome, or is there some dark twist I'm missing? I was expecting there to be more to the story, only to learn that the series was finished. I wanted to see what I had missed, but delving for secrets didn't change much. I tried forming my own theories about the story, but ended up writing myself in circles about what information could or couldn't be trusted. But then, I watched an excellent synopsis video by Crowmudgeon where he ends his video with the idea that he just wants to trust his gut feeling about the show. This inspired me to do the same.

      There's a lot about the story and world of Angel Hare that we don't know, but I want to share what I feel and what I think is true. I don't believe any of the characters we see are true angels or demons. I believe that Gabby is functionally a normal person who was simply doing her best to help a child who needed it, and that she was doing so in the only way that she could— even if that way was extreme and violent. Similarly, I don't think Francis or Zag are up to anything nefarious. I think that Francis tells us about demons and calls Zag's monitors "demon hare boxes" because he's a forest-dwelling badger from a Christian kid's TV show. He doesn't know what a TV is, and assumes it's some kind of unholy magic. Each of these characters act in accordance with their roles, but all of them ultimately are good people who mean well.

      I adopt this stance on Angel Hare because it aligns with my favorite thing that a story with Christian themes can do: it holds to Christian ideals, but doesn't outright confirm whether or not Christianity is "real" or "fake." We don't know whether God exists in the world of Angel Hare. We don't know whether or not Gabby is a real angel, or if she's secretly a demon. But I know that she chose to be kind and help a child in his time of need. And in turn, when that child grew up, Gabby's actions had inspired him to reciprocate that kindness to her and share it with the world. 

      Being kind to one another is what God wants us to do, but I find it beautiful that people will still be kind even when God isn't a part of their equation. And that's why I think Angel Hare will stick with me for a long time.

If you want to check out Longlegs as well, I do think it's worth your time.

I've enjoyed writing reviews like this, and it's a good way to kill time when work is slow. No idea what I'll review next or when, but I suspect I'll do one eventually.

[mthollowell-writes]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thanks again to @digital-chance for the tag! You can find their original post here!

1)What motivates you to write?

My own ego (I kid...sorta).

I love creating worlds and giving life to the various voices inside my head. I love teasing out ideas and constructing (too) intricate plots and scenarios. Writing is my escape from the daily grind (for good and bad) and my main outlet for expression. I honestly wouldn't be me without my writing.

2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

I'll share something from a short story currently on ice until I get around to editing it. It's tentatively called "Cosmic Self-Serve"

Unfathomable eldritch horrors weren’t on my Tuesday night bingo card but it takes all types to keep a gas station in the black. I took another pack of gum from the rack and popped a stick in my mouth, praying for brain freeze. Cool mint took over my senses and I felt like a person again. Gary won’t be happy with my lack of respect for “stock integrity” but that’s why our corporate gods gave us shrink. Also Gary’s an asshole so screw Gary.

3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

I'm going to have to give this to September from my Festival Project WIP. He's such a mess of a character despite his best efforts to keep it together. He has a pretty lengthy backstory for "reasons that drift a smidge into spoiler territory." On the surface, he's calm and collected and can weather any storm with clear head, but that comes from a long history of battling demons (both real and internal). He currently puts these talents towards being the Editor in Chief at his newspaper office.

4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

The initial brainstorming and outlining stage. I love plotting out stories free from the expectation of making the words sound pretty. I do still enjoy making the words pretty but sometimes I stall getting too caught up in that.

5) What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

The dialogue, though I will be the first to admit that I can get carried away with it. I also credit myself as a very meticulous plotter, in the actual plot and with character backstories. I've been told that my shorter stories tend to subvert expectation and go in unexpected places (but this too has its pitfalls as my earlier writing has been labelled as confusing by certain peers in writing workshops).

Even when I'm trying to stroke my ego, I keep offering caveats.

6) What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

Honestly, how supportive everyone is! We're always trying to build each other up and the discussions I see on my feed where people excitedly talk about their stories and OCs remind me why writing is so much fun. And the games, of course. My god, these games! I love them!

7) A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I recently took the plunge and bought Scrivener and I'm liking it so far. It's a bit of a learning curve with all the features you can play with, but I love how you can organize stories and bookmark things within each text section for referencing. Best of all, (and as far as I'm aware) you only have to pay once for it (unlike some other subscription based programs). With that being said, I do love Microsoft Word for smaller projects and its backup feature.

I also use a timer on my computer (I have Windows so there's a clock app that you can adjust). On days that I'm really struggling to motivate myself, dividing my time into smaller increments can get me through the slog.

8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

Egad, what a broad question! I have to think about that for a second...

There's a unique Protestant-inspired church branch within Hollow Grove that's known as the Edelhaus Coalition Church. It's also uniquely American, whose foundation is the old Puritan work ethic that emphasizes hard work as a core tenet that guarantees a path to heaven.

Where it diverges is its belief in The Founder and the concept of The Faithful. The Faithful are the true believers that have gained immense favor with God through their hard work and aptitude. As evidence of his favor, he gives The Faithful powers over nature. The Founder (who many believe was the original historical founder of the town, Goodwin Hollow) was the first Faithful and every Festival of Shadows, the evidence of his will is seen in the resurrection of the recently deceased every festival year. This holiday is celebrated by all in the Edelhaus Coalition church for this reason. It's also why many acolytes within the church opt for natural burial for a chance to walk the earth again.

There's more to it but in the spirit of brevity, that's all I'll say for now.

9) What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

I'll say it again, write what you love. There's no point in writing something you don't.

I also want to emphasize the importance of breaks. Sometimes if the words aren't flowing (or there's just so much going in your life), never feel ashamed of putting the pen down and coming back to a story later. The time away can offer fresh perspective. It can divert your attention to something else that you're equally passionate about. I sometimes like to procrastinate on one story with another. If I can't write at all, sometimes reading or watching something can inspire you.

10) Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

I'm truly inspired by reading the snippets of stories from @digital-chance (that's two mentions now!) @rmgrey-author @palebdot @tabswrites @writingbyricochet and @fatexweaver. I appreciate the support and interactions I've had with @vintagecivet @macabremoons @friendlyshaped @aestatismors @leisoree @words-after-midnight @axl-ul @nai-nty-8 and @nonsenseramble. Seriously, you all rock and I appreciate all of you!

I'm going to go ahead and gently tag all these beautiful folks listed above as well as some newer mutuals who I hope to get to know more @girlfromthecrypt @elhuei @isherwoodj @poemsbymo @robin-writes-a-lot and anyone who would like to participate!

[wikiangela]

911 lone star 4x05

it seems that the season is finally picking up, and this is my fave episode so far 😂

more thoughts and spoilers ahead!

jfc Rob Lowe is so good in comedic roles fr, I think that's why I enjoy Owen now, because he gets funny stuff 😂 that scene was so funny 😂

the boy calling about the math problem was so adorable, and Grace's reaction was even more adorable, she's so fucking cute I can't 😩😍😍 that smile with a nose scrunch??? 😍😍😍😍

"not a math whiz, just a math fan" SAME I love math, I miss it, why did I go study English at uni lmao

we should see more of the 911 dispatchers, like we do in the og - like, I'd love to at least learn like 3 names of something 🙄😂

ngl, I have no memory of this paramedic they're talking about 😂 (also, the music in this scene is kinda loud isn't it? like the drums or whatever? idk, it makes my head hurt lol)

waaait, I knew it was a more Marjan focused episode from the promo, but... someone complained about her to HR???? what the fuck about, she's a delight 😂

oh my god the lady from the mobile home?? over the word "crazy" when Marjan saved her life?? seriously?

we're focusing a lot on Linus, huh - I bet something bad is about to happen (clearly something's wrong with the mom, and I'm anxious waiting to see what haha)

jfc it was one stupid word, that people used to throw around at anything and anyone, jfc I don't wanna be one of those "why are people these days so sensitive" bitches but... she saved you life lady, leave her alone

I love seeing more Marjan but I feel so bad for her

I almost forgot about this dude since the beginning tbh, I'm enjoying this episode a lot haha - no idea what his deal is but it's stressing me out

I am loving getting more of the dispatch - if this is how this season continues, I might change my opinion about it (which is that this season is kinda whatever so far, but maybe just the first four episodes were bc this is good)

I kinda like Marjan and Owen's dynamic, this is fun (pls give me more Owen and TK tho, I miss them, and I'm always a sucker for a father son relationship 😂)

this couple is so ridiculous, jfc, Owen's right, how is that guy not in jail 😂 and they want her to post an apology for calling her "crazy"? and tag their gofundme? lady, you are fucking crazy 😂😂

they're blaming the fire department, aka people who rescued her life, for destroying their home??? that dude fucking took it - oh my god they're insane and it's infuriating but also kinda funny 😂

I love Grace and Judd and I missed them, we barely saw them the last couple of episodes haha (and Charlie is the most adorable baby 😍😍)

thank God for Grace and her instincts about what's happening, and that Judd nudged her to go over there right away

also, Tommy is amazing and I love her and her friendship with Grace

Paul "notices things" - I completely forgot about that because it hasn't been referenced since like s1 - pls give him an actual storyline that includes all aspects of him, including this superpower of his 😂

Paul and Marjan are one of my fave friendships, they're really ride or die's, I just love them (also, I just love the way Paul speaks if that makes sense? I'm weird about voices and cadence and pronunciation idk 😂)

sooo, Asha's sticking around, right? 😂 they wouldn't have her know Paul from way back when if they weren't starting something here right? 😂 I'm not complaining, pls give Paul a storyline, and if it's finally a good love interest, even better haha

I'm sorry, but making such a big deal over the word "crazy" is literally so ridiculous I can't help but laugh

nooo, don't tell me she's really leaving

I'm crying

not Nancy and Mateo being the parent friends 😭😂

like, she's not gone forever is she? I'm sure she'll be back eventually... right?

okay, promo: I am so excited for this bomber storyline, it seems more interesting than the first 4 episodes of the season (like, I loved the Carlos episode - 4x04 but like... eh)

so, I loved this episode, please tell me this is when the season picks up finally, I was finally engaged from the beginning until the end, and enjoyed all of it

I did miss Carlos, and he's my fave character, but also, like I mentioned a lot already, the tarlos storyline so far with Iris etc was so fucking boring and it took a lot of time in those first episodes (and it's crazy I'm even saying that because I always say to give Carlos all the screen time 😂) so it was nice to kinda have a break from them haha and I'm so glad we're over the whole FBI thing

now, I adore Grace and I loved her storyline this eps, it was great and interesting

I feel like Asha's gonna stick around and I'm excited if they're gonna do anything with her and Paul (or just fucking give Paul some more screen time ffs)

I loved that we got more of other dispatchers aside from Grace and please keep it up, I wanna know them like we know Josh and Sue and Linda, for them to be around you know? 😂

and Marjan.... I don't believe she left for good, and I don't wanna believe that, and I get her reasoning, because fuck those people, but also.... this was just so ridiculous, do people really get that offended over the word crazy? I know it's offensive or whatever but since when it's a slur? 😂

anyway, it was a great episode for Marjan, loved seeing her more and her struggle with this whole situation, and her and Owen actually have a great dynamic, wish we'd seen more of that (if they didn't give 90% of screen time to Owen alone 🙄 I like him but sometimes it's like.... there are people who are more interesting that I wanna find out about lol)

genuinely can't wait for the next one, and it's the first time this season I'm actually looking forward to the next episode, I hope it's gonna only get better now haha

[eastofthemoon]

I posted 1,911 times in 2022

28 posts created (1%)

1,883 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@galahadwilder

@fortunatelykawaiitiger

@mischif

@oswaldide

@bisexualbaker

I tagged 484 of my posts in 2022

#the owl house - 50 posts

#lego monkie kid - 34 posts

#this - 23 posts

#happy tag - 20 posts

#spoilers - 19 posts

#the owl house spoilers - 17 posts

#us politics - 16 posts

#writing - 13 posts

#encanto - 12 posts

#turning red - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#they replaced judy's voice actress with a singer who was popular at the time and that movie not only flopped but fans are still bitter about

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Drew this for Froggyfall on twitter. I think it turned out cute.

15 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

16 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

Light The Lights

A silly idea that came to me. For those who aren’t familiar with the Gävle Goat   here’s a quick summary.

Anyway, here we go.

Title: Light The Lights

Series: The Muppets

Rating: G

Summary: Kermit sighed and placed his hands on his hips. "What do you guys think you're doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Fozzie said as he helped Scooter with a bunch of torches to the door. "We're going to burn the goat!"

Archive of Our Own

Truthfully, Kermit should have known something was up when everyone voted to go spend Christmas in Sweden in less than five minutes. They usually have to spend an hour just to agree on pizza topping.

After getting settled in the villa they were renting he caught his friends all dressed to go outside while carrying far too many fire starting supplies in their arms.  

Kermit sighed and placed his hands on his hips. "What do you guys think you're doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Fozzie said as he helped Scooter with a bunch of torches to the door. "We're going to burn the goat!"

Kermit could hear Sam's veins popping next to him. "What goat and why are you going to set it on fire?" "The Gävle Goat," Gonzo explained as he set down a box of TNT. "It's this tradition where they have a giant goat made out of straw and people kept burning it down."

Kermit shook their head. "Gonzo, I don't think they need your help-"

"It wasn't on purpose, people sneak in and did it," Gonzo continued as Animal walked by with a jug of gasoline. "However for a few years, the security managed to prevent it happening and well," the group exchanged exhausted expressions, "the last few years haven't exactly been great."

“That’s putting it mildly,” Rowlf said.

Kermit blinked. “Why are you bringing your keyboard?”

Rowlf shrugged. “Well, someone should play “Burn, Baby, Burn” for mood music, right?”

The group cheered at the suggestion.

“Need I remind you that this is very much illegal?” Sam snapped. “You weirdos will tarnish the noble dignity that is the American tourist.”

“Don’t worry, that’s why we got disguises,” Dr. Teeth said as he held up the clothes.

Kermit tilted his head. “You’re going as lobsters?”

“They’ll like never see it coming,” Janice said.

“LOBSTERS! LOBSTERS!” Animal cried.

Piggy huffed. “Most of us are, but I’m going as a beautiful Valkyrie.”

“I’m going as a chicken,” Gonzo chime in.

“Come on, guys,” Kermit said. “I know things have been rough, but that doesn’t mean burning a giant goat is going to change anything-"

"But that's just it, Kermie," Piggy said sweetly as she clutch the box of matches to her chest like they were jewels. "It did get burned down last year and things did get better."

"Exactly," Fozzie said, "so therefore we have to make sure it happens again!"

See the full post

16 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#2

My current feelings if I want to see the Mario movie or not, especially given that Jack Black said we might see Bowser’s musical side.

41 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Wait, so Dracula is going by De Ville and right now all I can think of is

64 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jokertrap-ran]

[スタオケ] La Corda d'Oro Starlight Orchestra Main Story Chapter 3-3 Translation

*Starlight Orchestra Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Main story tag will be #Main Starlight

Everyone: Hm?

Everyone: …

Someone in the crowd: It's Glanz Symphony Orchestra…

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Male Student 2: T-Tsukishiro…

Kei: What's the matter? Do continue. I find it pretty interesting to hear.

Taiga: Come on, don't be so mean about it. These guys have no other way to vent their frustrations other than to gossip with each other.

Taiga: They're different from Glanz, the undisputed champions. I almost feel sorry for them.

Male Student 1: Wha-

Sango: Yikes, he really went and said it. But now that he's gone and done it, that means it's over for them now, isn't it?

Ruri: Sango.

Male Student 1: U-Urk…! How dare you make a fool of us…

Male Student 1: Tsukishiro! It's your fault that our Orchestra ended up like this!

Male Student 1: Your best trumpet players, Kanamoi and Shioya were originally members of our Orchestra!

Male Student 1: You've been poaching members from Orchestras all around with Regal Records backing you! And thanks to that, we're done for…

Kei: I'm not sure I quite approve of the way you're ignoring your own incompetence and clinging onto the members who have already left.

Male Student 1: Wha…

Kei: Your Orchestra cannot win. I'm sure that's the conclusion the both of them drew before deciding to join Glanz.

Kei: If you have the time to pin the blame on us, why not spend it wisely to try climbing up here with your own abilities?

Kei: You can better attract members by offering better terms and a higher chance of success. You should try it sometime too.

Kei: You're making a big mistake if you think that someone will throw you a bone if you howl loud enough.

Eiichi: Kei-sama.

Kei: Pardon me. I may have gone overboard. See you then.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Eiichi: …

Kei: What? Aren't you in a bad mood today?

Eiichi: I do not think it is a good idea to unnecessarily incur the wrath of others.

Eiichi: Although, there's no helping Domoto and Koga, seeing as that it's just their personality to do so…

Kei: What a worrywart you are. Don't worry about it. I'm sure that you'll do something about it if anything happens…

Kei: A group of incompetent people can band together all they want, but there's no guarantee that they'll succeed in the end.

Kei: Though, if you're that eager to curry favor with someone, then wouldn't it be more prudent to attempt it with the person behind this door instead?

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

???: Perfect timing. The association directors have just left.

???: 30 media companies have already applied to cover the joint concert. Things are progressing at a pretty good pace.

Kei: You're even overseeing that yourself?

???: I'm not in the habit of trusting others with things.

???: Especially not the checkmate. I've seen many who've tripped up on it.

???: Are you not the same, Tsukishiro-kun?

Kei: How terrifying. No wonder your employees always have that terrified look on their faces whenever they see you, Ms. President of Regal Records.

Kei: Now then, shall we talk about business?

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Ginga: *Sigh* …Man, it felt almost as if we'd entered a different reality altogether… Is everyone from Kakyo Academy like that?

Tomoharu: Only because the Orchestra he leads can be considered the undisputable monarch.

Tomoharu: Glanz wasn't that popular of an Orchestra in the beginning.

Tomoharu: They only started to gain fame worldwide a couple of years ago when Tsukishiro Kei stepped in to take the lead as the Concertmaster.

Tomoharu: Combined with his fame, Glanz saw rapid growth.

⊳ Choice: So the title of the “Tyrant” is…

Tomoharu: No one knows who started it, but it seems to have stuck. Ginga: The “Tyrant”, huh… That nickname of his has a nice ring to it. I kinda want one too!

Kazuma: If I have to give you a nickname, it'd be “Forever Napping”

Sakuya: Or perhaps something like “pocket change liker”.

Ginga: Ehh~!? How mean! I'm sure there must be other possibilities, right? Right!?

Tomoharu: Haha, it's fine isn't it? They don't sound like anything bad. In fact, I quite like it.

Hayate: Good grief. Is this really the time to be joking? Tsukishiro didn't earn that nickname by doing nothing, you know.

⊳ Choice: How dare you say such rude things about Tsukishiro!

Sakuya: I don't know how big of a fan you are, but if you still have the capacity to get mad after seeing that entire facade, then perhaps you should get a reality check. Tomoharu: Well, he did rub everyone the wrong way…

⊳ Choice: He was a little terrifying.

Hayate: Yeah. He's a peculiar one… Or rather, he has a certain intensity about him. He, and those around him. Hayate: Those complaints that were voiced against him back at the venue weren't completely unfounded either.

Tomoharu: Looks like it's true that Glanz is made out of talented members who had been poached from other Orchestras.

Tomoharu: Off the top of my head…

Tomoharu: The tall guy that had been standing next to Tsukishiro is none other than Tatsumi Eiichi, the cello player. 

Tomoharu: He's been featured in the media alongside Tsukishiro-san, so I'm sure many people in the academy know of him too.

Tomoharu: Domoto Taiga, the overseas Bassoon player that Regal Records had scouted had also been there.

Tomoharu: He's an assertive person, making him stand out even amidst Glanz.

Tomoharu: As for the two girls, they seem to be students from Saint Cecil's Girls School 

Tomoharu: A prestigious school, and also one of the regulars in the National Student Music Concours.

Tomoharu: The other members are nothing to sniff at either. Man, they’re already a force to be reckoned with from what we can glean.

Sakuya: Rather than talking about Glanz… shouldn't we worry about our own performance?

Sakuya: The piece has been decided. It has to be a violin concerto, which means that we're currently unable to accomplish it with the small ensemble we have.

Sakuya: A violin concerto requires an Orchestra. Even with the number of people we have in the Starlight Orchestra now, we're still lacking quite a lot.

Tomoharu: Hmm… Looks like we’ll have to find some extra players.

Hayate: Extra players? Can we even do that?

Ginga: Shinomori-sensei, I beg of you! Please fulfill my once-in-a-lifetime wish! Lend us some music ed students, please~

Kazuma: No. I've already heard that excuse before. Just how many lives do you have, exactly?

Ginga: Ehh~ C’mon, don't say that… Just one? Pleaaase?

Kazuma: It doesn't matter how persistent you are. Do something about it yourself.

Sakuya: …Looks like we've really hit the end of our road this time.

Ginga: Hey! You're giving up way too quickly!

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Nono: A joint concert? Wow~ That sounds awesome! Do you think I can listen in on the performance if you sneak me into your case!?

Nono: But if there's a Fata in Kakyo Academy, I'm sure they'd say something like “Who the hell are you?” and the like…

Nono: But a violin concerto sounds too good to pass up on!

Nono: A violin concerto backed by an entire Orchestra… It's like something right out of a dream! Good luck with it, Concertmistress!

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬Main Starlight♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Previous Part: (Chapter 3-2) Next Part: (Chapter 3-4)

[turtletaubwrites]

Numbers Game ~ Part 29

Don’t Say Anything

Pairings: Cross Guild Polycule x Fem!Reader x Shanks

Numbers Game Masterlist

Word Count: 7023

Ao3 Link

Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link

Summary: Listening is taking its toll on the clown, but hopefully what he hears will give your lovers a place to start. You go home.

Author's Note: Hi friends! In case you didn't see the posts, I have been having some health issues lately, so my posting schedule might not get back to normal for a bit, even though I want it to!! 😭 We're here for Numbers Game shenanigans, so I won't go into it on these posts after this notice, but if you'd like to know what's going on you can look at my tag: #lynna's health updates The posts are heavy, and have content warnings, so please don't read if it'll be too much!

Thank you: I am just incredibly grateful for all of you!! Your support means the world to me, and although I'm still too low on spoons to respond to everything, I see it all, and you have no idea how much it helps me. Thank you so much!!!! 🙏🏼💜

!!! DARK CONTENT WARNING !!! There's something in this chapter that I would tag, but it gives something away. Uncle Cedrick is awful, and although there is no physical contact, something extremely violating is done to the reader. It can be inferred from other sections of the chapter, but I will bracket the part where it is clearly stated, and where he's extra fucked up, with these symbols: ~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~ If you aren't already, please be prepared for more trauma and abuse as we get to know the Sylvad family. I'll try to keep putting warnings, but I don't want to give the story away. Please take care of yourselves! I'd hate for my words to be triggering for anyone. 💜

Alternate POV Symbols:

🌲 ~ Reader | 🐊 ~ Crocodile | 🗡 ~ Mihawk | 🤡 ~ Buggy | 🔴 ~ Shanks | ⏰ ~ Flashbacks for listed POV | ⚫ ~ Scenes depicting Dark Content as listed in Author's Notes

!!! SPOILER WARNING !!! Fic contains spoilers for the end of the Wano arc

Rating/Warnings: Author May Choose to Exclude some Warnings to Avoid Spoilers for Certain Chapters, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Use of Y/N, DARK CONTENT, Blood & Violence, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Grief, Swearing, Alcohol, Cigars, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Guilt, Drama, Jealousy, Manipulation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Possessive Behavior, Dacryphilia, Teasing, Threats, Hair-Pulling, Blow Jobs, PIV Sex, Comeplay, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Oak Roots Estate.

Uncle’s favorite vacation home. You were surprised he hadn’t changed its name to “Cedar Roots” by now. 

“I’m not going anywhere until I see Kat.” 

“No need to get feisty,” he tutted, nodding toward the private island the ship had docked at. A small towns’ worth of servants flitted about, ensuring that everything in his line of sight would be to his liking. 

You wanted to gag. 

“I knew you’d be a smart girl and come home, so I went ahead and made preparations. Your mother and sister are here, and we’ll be hosting your potential husbands in a few days. We won’t be wasting any more time.”

He moved too close, towering over you before touching your lower back to guide you off the ship. 

“You won’t be stepping foot off of this island until you pick a new owner, Y/N, but you’ll have plenty to choose from, and I’ll make sure that your private dates are held far away from any listening ears. I’m certain that you can convince someone you like to stay with you, at least now that they’ll get some berry along with that eager body of yours.”

The suicidal urge to shove him off the ramp into the water was so fucking intense, you had to bite the inside of your cheek not to do it. 

“Do you understand, niece?”

“I understand,” you seethed inwardly, starting to remember how to hold it all in. 

Your uncle grabbed your elbow, pulling you gently off the docks before brushing the hair from your face. 

The salty wind was everything. You tried to exist in it, to be aware of only its touch on your skin.

Otherwise you’d be snarling.

“Are you feeling well, niece?”

“I’m fine.” That effortless lie was a mantra, a prayer. You went loose, just empty enough to look pliable, not frightening. 

“Hm,” he judged, scanning your face while his fingers kept trailing through your hair. “I hope that’s the case. However, given your recent extreme behavior, I’ve asked Dr. Vorsan to see you.”

“I’m here, Uncle. I’m fine,” you smiled, but you could tell it hadn’t reached your eyes.

I need to get my shit together.

“That’s so good to hear,” he purred, donning his favorite, smug smile before nudging you toward the stupid fucking carriage. He waited until you were perched on the embroidered cushions, and heading up to the estate, before twisting you further.

“Since Dr. Vorsan is already here, I think it’s best that he checks in on you. Trauma is a tricky thing, Y/N. I’d hate to send my niece off to marriage in poor health.”

Swallowing. Smiling. Nodding.

“There’s my smarty,” he laughed, leaning forward to pat your knee. “Just be a good girl, and all of this will be over in a month.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🐊🔴🐊🔴~~~

Buggy was trashing a random suite today.

The three, invincible men in the hall were helpless again, helpless while their clown raged, tearing everything apart as he alternated between taking notes and throwing furniture against the wall. 

“That doesn’t sound…” Shanks didn’t know why he’d spoken. His words were worse than useless. He mourned the loss of the swordsman's heat where their shoulders had leaned against each other while they sat on the floor, watching Crocodile pace.

Shanks was sure the frightening man would leave an anxious groove in the floor soon.

“Where are you going,” Crocodile frowned, watching his little prince flee the scene. 

“I’ll be back.”

Crocodile huffed a laugh, shocked by how much Mihawk’s shortness affected him. He shouldn’t have cared at all, but now he stared after the man, not sure if he wanted to hold him or yell at him. 

“He does that,” Shanks sighed, deciding not to care if Mihawk heard him. He was probably too preoccupied to focus on them anyway. “He likes to run away from his feelings. Don’t take it personally.”

Crocodile grimaced as what had to be a large piece of furniture slammed against the closed door. He slid down the wall to sit across from the red haired man, tapping his hook on the carpet. 

“He’s been doing alright lately,” he noted, staring blankly down the empty hall. 

“Yeah,” Shanks agreed, tugging at the collar of his cloak. The feel of the cloth suddenly made him want to strip, wanting nothing to be fucking touching him right now. “How did you do that?”

Fuck.

There it was. Envy.

That stinging realization was just one too many for the red haired pirate to deal with, but the thought wouldn’t shove off.

Sir Crocodile had managed to get Buggy and Mihawk to stay. To care. 

Why wasn’t I enough?

Shanks slipped into a weak smile when he imagined the size of the bowl of sake he’d need to drink to get this shit out of his head. 

“What do you mean? …You alright, Red Hair?”

Crocodile was already annoyed with this tentative truce. He was trying to get over it. Sometimes it felt like he had, but then something would get caught in his mind, bringing it all back. This self righteous, pretty boy had fucked with his home, had hurt his sweet girl, had gotten his boys all twisted in knots, and he still might steal them away from him. Yet he had the nerve to sit here and mope. 

The ex-Warlord took a long, slow breath while the other man took his sweet time before replying.

“What did you do that made them, you know.” Shanks waved his hand, the act of speaking these stupid words taking too much energy, so he quickly dropped it back down to his lap. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of them like this. They’re so… open.”

The Emperor of the Sea had to swallow nasty guilt with that word, realizing just how jealous he’d been. 

“Are you jealous of me,” Crocodile chuckled with genuine pleasure at the thought. 

Shanks gave him a look that would have withered a lesser man, but he just got louder. 

After a few more, much needed laughs, the ex-Warlord spoke, truth and fear leaving his lips. 

“You don’t need to worry about me, Red Hair. It was all her,” he breathed, clenching his eyes shut at the sound of her name yelled from Buggy’s lips. “Y/N woke us all up. She’s… She’s perfect. I know the boys will follow her, so you just need to worry about wooing my sweet girl. Then you can take everything.”

“Crocodile,” Shanks started, but trailed off when they caught eyes, pain and defeat clear on both of their faces. 

“As long as you help us get her back, I’ll–” 

“Can you IDIOTS shut the FUCK UP?!!”

Shanks couldn’t hold in a snort, but regretted it instantly at the sight of Buggy’s deranged eyes. His dark circles seemed even darker since the clown hadn’t bothered to put any makeup on today. That alone would have worried him, but now Buggy growled, tossing a crumpled piece of paper into the hall before shutting himself in the room again. 

The red haired pirate started to push himself up to grab the message until sand moved in a wave, reaching out from Crocodile’s body as it pulled the paper into his hand. He flattened it on his thigh with his hand, holding a corner down with the back of his hook, before reading the messy note.

“Do you ever leave grains of– whoa, what is it,” Shanks asked, eyes wide as the scarred man yanked his hook out from the carpeted floor he’d just smashed a hole into. 

Crocodile couldn’t speak yet, so he just crumpled and tossed the paper toward the other man. He wanted to join in Buggy’s rage, to tear this fucking place to the ground. 

But he needed to be strong for them. 

“I’m gonna kill him slow,” he growled, focusing on his clenched teeth to keep from forcing Buggy to recite every fucking word he was hearing. 

Shanks snagged the crumpled paper, flapping it through the air before smoothing it out on the floor with his shaky hand. Dread sat on him while he pulled it up, reading Buggy’s large, angry handwriting. 

~~~~~~

Uncle CUNTDICK   says

pick new OWNER???!

Private Dates - no listenin 

She can convince one she like to stay?? FOR BERR   

HER EAGER BODDY!?   GONNA FCKIN KIL L!!! he’ll DIEso

fucking

    Bloody gonna SLICE off hisarms & shove a buggy ball down histhroat and tear

DOCTOR !! 

Star’s scared of that doc. Borsan?

Vorsan ??  she’s scared of him.   

  her HEART IS ! who the fuck is he ?    gonna kill

KILL fucking SHUT up out there you 

       dicKBAGS! !     

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

“I’m gonna get info on this fucking doctor. Stay with– Will you–”

“You got it, boss,” Shanks smiled weakly, matching Crocodile’s hushed tone. “I’ll keep an eye on our clown.”

The ex-Warlord got to his feet, his shoulders slumping beneath his heavy coat at the sound of Buggy’s fresh curses, as though the president of the Cross Guild had hurt himself doing whatever had caused that particularly loud crashing noise.  

“I’ve got him,” the Emperor of the Sea assured, hoping that he wasn’t lying. He stared while that large, fur covered back moved down the hall, leaving him there to feel helpless. 

Crocodile still felt helpless, but that name echoed in his mind, a death knell for some unlucky doctor.

You scare my sweet girl, you fucking suffer.  

~~~🐊🔴🐊🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

“I’m scared,” you whispered, patting your harness.

“Babe, how the fuck have you never done this? You fucking own these trees,” your second love teased while she shooed your anxious fingers away from the heavy buckles. 

“I do not own these trees,” you pouted, her taunting glare too powerful to resist smiling at. “And just because–”

“Come on, cutie,” she rasped, pulling you as close as the ropes would allow. “You’d better jump after me, otherwise you won’t be able to say it back.”

“Say what back,” you squirmed, the brief press of her lips against yours sending heat across your skin. 

“I love you, babe,” she smirked, winking before she leapt off the platform to fly through the air, ziplining through the massive trees.

You froze, not from fear of heights or faulty harnesses, but of those pretty, little words. 

Her dangerous smile, her overwhelming voice, the way she made you…

It felt so fucking good to leap into the unknown, letting yourself be free. 

She loves me.

Screaming through the intoxicating air of the forest heights left you breathless and laughing when you returned to solid ground. She tackled you instantly, ignoring the crowd of workers and tourists, and you felt higher than you’d been at the top of that first tree. 

“Good job, babe,” she praised, pinning you onto the grass without a care for who was watching. “Knew my girl was brave.”

“I’d do anything for you,” you confessed, shoving down the terror in your gut. “I love you too.”

“Fuck yeah, you do,” she grinned onto your lips, sending you even higher when she curled her fingers into your hair. 

“Can we leave,” you whispered, suddenly aware of all the eyes on your skin. 

“Sure, cutie," she purred, kissing your forehead before winking again. "You deserve a drink after that. You could have died!”

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

The realizations you’d had on Karai Bari spun through your mind while you tried not to scowl at the grotesque displays of wealth all around you.

You hadn’t given a fuck what they had done for money. Hadn’t cared at all when that marine was strung up, bleeding on the wheel. The way you’d felt when Buggy smiled at you like that, when he’d killed for you without a thought…

Not feeling like a good person wasn’t that much of a paradigm shift though. You’d always been a selfish—

“Y/N!”

“Kat?”

Your sister looked perfect, healthy, safe.

“You’re fucking in— stupid! I can’t believe you’re alive,” she scolded, pulling you into a hug that you sank into, heat climbing up your throat. 

She’s alright. She’s— 

“You’re okay?”

“Of course, she’s okay, Y/N,” Uncle Cedrick purred, hovering over your shoulder until she stepped away. “I’ll always take care of our family. Your maid of honor is here to make sure the lovely bride is ready for the big day, aren’t you, Kat.”

“If that’s what she wants,” Kat scowled, soothing your heart for just a moment. 

“Of course, she wants it,” he gloated, smoothing his palm in gentle circles between your shoulder blades, almost as if he were a loving uncle. “You’d have to be crazy not to want the world, especially when it helps the people you love.”

“I want it,” you smiled, but Kat knew. You could see it in those cynical eyes.

“I—“

“Why don’t you show our little bridezilla to her suite,” he suggested. Uncle Cedrick smiled at Kat the way he smiled at no other, though she gave him nothing back. Your sister was still the only person he seemed to give the tiniest shit about. “I’m sure your big sis could use some rest. She’s going to have a busy month.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Shanks warned, hopping up off the floor to whisper over the swordsman’s shoulder. He still smelled amazing, even without his special beard oil on, and the red haired pirate wanted to slap himself.

How can I keep thinking like this when—

“I’ll be fine,” Mihawk sighed with his hand hovering over the door handle. “I'm done running from my feelings.”

It may as well have been a blade. The peck of a kiss the swordsman gave the Emperor sent him reeling, dizzy with the loss of sanity rather than blood. The man with predator eyes didn’t stay to watch his victim stumble against the wall before sneaking into the suite. 

Shanks felt even more guilt when he steadied himself, charging down that empty hall, but this time the guilt was overpowered by the very thing it was caused by.

The Emperor was smiling, wide and true. 

He wouldn’t sit back, and do nothing while the people he loved were suffering. That simple, comforting peck from a predator had spurred him on, and Shanks couldn’t fight this growing feeling.

Hope. 

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🗡️🤡🗡️🤡~~~

“Get the fuck out,” Buggy snapped without checking who’d opened the door. He clenched his eyes shut, wishing that he’d given Y/N his other ear. The clown sat in the center of a pile of slightly crumpled pages, his nondominant hand floating to shove a finger into the ear on the opposite side while he took too many, useless notes. 

Her heart was so loud, and there were so many sounds now that she’d made it to the estate. He couldn’t miss anything, struggling over the sounds of her breath and her heartbeat to catch the servants voices in the background.

He never struggled to hear Uncle CockRot though. That shithead loved to hear himself talk.

And he keeps getting too close to her…

“FUCK,” Buggy cursed, his hands stopping their work while he tossed a chair at the wall again. “Gods, damn it…”

The clown swallowed the guilt that his pathetic outbursts kept feeding. He needed to listen, to be quiet, but he could not fucking take this. How was he supposed to stay calm?

What did they say in that stupid class? Count to ten… 

Mihawk stilled, watching the clown settle back on the floor after another show of rage. Buggy was so focused on his task that he hadn’t noticed his golden eyed lover studying him in silence. 

The swordsman felt a ridiculous urge to smile at the sight of this frantic man that was rocking back and forth, scribbling line after line, thinking of nothing but saving his pretty star. 

Dracule Mihawk had known determination. A singular focus, an overpowering goal. He’d met many that claimed to have it, but they always faltered. They never truly knew what it was to be driven. To care about only one thing, and to stop at nothing until they achieved it. 

He may have looked like he was falling apart, yet Mihawk knew that he could never again think of this man as pathetic after seeing that will in those tired eyes. Buggy was fighting for the very thing that Mihawk had run from like a coward his entire life. 

The clown was going to save her, and the swordsman was going to help him.

He stepped silently, opening his fist just close enough for Buggy to see it, confusion following the rage that lined the clown’s face. He paused, then grabbed the earplug Mihawk offered, stuffing it into his ear before shaking the cramps out of both of his hands. 

Mihawk allowed himself a small smile as he removed a fresh notepad from the tote he’d found in the kitchen, holding it out so Buggy could read the message he’d scrawled on the top page. 

~~~~~~

Would you like to join me in Adam’s room while you listen?  I have cookies. - M

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

The swordsman tucked the notepad away while Buggy was still blinking at it, offering a cookie instead. He swallowed a laugh at the man’s feral grab, a floating hand snatching it before shoving it into his mouth. 

They gathered up the chaos of notes as best they could. The swordsman carried everything, so that the clown could keep his hands free, stopping now and then to write with the notepad pressed against the wall. 

Adam’s guard left without a word, leaving Mihawk alone with his muttering lover, and their furry reminder of the heartbeat that Buggy had caged himself with. He’d taken the tote, laying out his new nest of mayhem on the floor. Buggy tried not to let the fact that these were her favorite cookies keep himself from eating, or listening. 

They tasted a bit watery though. 

The light touch against his hair nearly made him violent, but he turned to find Mihawk had joined him on the floor. He cocked his head while he wielded a brush like a sword, asking permission. Adam crawled onto the swordsman’s lap, rubbing his furry chin along that chiseled jaw until he procured a good head scritching. 

Buggy nodded consent, and these two, deadly pirates tried to find comfort in a room that felt cold without her sweet laughter. 

~~~

“How did you…” Buggy trailed off. Y/N was quiet for the moment, but he focused on her breath before gesturing to his ear, annoyed with himself that he hadn’t thought of it first. 

“I figured the armory might carry some ear protection, given how impressive your balls are,” Mihawk managed to deadpan in a whisper. He kept up that bored face while he studied Buggy’s recent notes, still playing with the lovely, blue hair he’d gotten all the tangles out of hours ago.

“My BALLS,” Buggy choked out, laughter ripping through him before he clamped a hand over his lips. “My– Buggy Balls…”

“Are quite impressive,” Mihawk teased, tugging at Buggy’s hand until he let him massage the meat of his palm. “Is there anything else I can–”

“She’s eating dinner by herself,” the clown reported, floating toward the door while his stomach cried out for anything besides watery cookies. 

“Not for long,” Mihawk declared, sending the cat’s guard back into Adam’s suite after grabbing Buggy’s notes. “Let’s keep your strength up, little clown.”

“You’re hungry too, crybaby,” Buggy teased, floating and twisting his head around to stick his tongue out at the wildly dangerous man he’d just made fun of. He felt a sudden need to move faster.

Mihawk smirked when those tired eyes widened, but he couldn’t choose how to respond. The clown didn’t give him time to decide, his bare feet racing fast, while his body floated even faster. 

Yet the thought of their darling eating alone was too sobering, so he shook himself free from that urge to chase, and followed his clown instead.  

~~~🗡️🤡🗡️🤡~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Kat had never been as good at pretending as you were, even though she didn’t hate it as much as you did. Although, the tension in her shoulders that ran all the way down to her almost clenched fists left you wondering if that was still true.

“I made him give us adjoining suites,” she sighed, ushering you into an opulent room. A miracle left your lips, a small laugh escaping when your sister yanked you, forcing you onto the bed. The shitty, stupid dress crumpled up when you tried to sit crossed legged, too glad to see her to care about anything else. 

“I’m sorry I left you—“

“I’m sorry I told him—“

Two sisters, two half smiles.

Does that equal one whole smile?

You snorted at your own brain, always making up dumb math problems, then hissed at the punch to the arm it earned you.

“I thought you were going to die, Y/N. You know those are famous pirates, right,” she accused. Your sister’s voice had gone high, and she seemed to latch back onto anger to keep it from wavering. “I learned all about your employers. All about the people they—”

“I know,” you breathed, your shoulders relaxing when she let you rest your hand on hers. “It was selfish, okay? I just wanted to disappear for a while.”

“You don’t want to be here.” 

“No, I do,” you assured, forcing yourself back in. 

It’s not a lie. 

“You were right,” you sighed, stretching so you could look away from her sharp eyes. “It’s been long enough. I got to have an adventure. I got to pretend. Now it’s time—“

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she groaned, leaving your side to pace after kicking off her heels. “I don’t want you to do this just because—“

“I’m not doing this just so you and mom can get your inheritance. Although, I hope you take the berry and run.”

A joke laced with icy truth went icier when she scowled at you. 

“Right,” she drawled, slumping onto the couch. “I’m sure Uncle would love it if we both ran away.”

“You don’t need to…“

The old argument fizzled out before it began, too much jealousy and guilt shared between you. 

“Is he still—“

“Apparently I’m ‘too old for the appetites of Dragons now,” your sister spat, and you practically flew across the room. 

“Well, thank fuck for that,” you almost laughed as you sat beside her. “What about—“

“No one else wants to wed the destitute sister of the wayward heiress.”

The old argument reared up again, stinging more every time.

“Kat, you can leave,” you urged, desperate for it to be true. “You don’t need to marry for the family, you can get out. Have a normal life, and find someone you love!”

“Like you did,” Kat sighed, more pain than cruelty in her voice. 

You nodded in defeat, leaning against her while you both breathed the pointless arguments away. The Sylvad sisters found comfortable quiet in stifled lives, just as you’d always done. 

She’s right. People like us don’t get to have love.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

Your second love cocked an eyebrow at you while you pushed a napkin down the bar counter, giving you a flirty smile before reading your note.

~~~~~~

Don’t say anything, please. Run away with me tonight? I am being 100% serious.  Meet me at the gift shop on the pier at 8. Kiss me once for no. Kiss me twice for yes. I love you.

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Panic flooded through you while you waited, worried that you’d freaked her out, but she scooted close, her breath along your ear sending shivers over your skin.

“How about three times for fuck yes?”

She ate your happy whimpers while she kissed you three times, catching your tears with her thumbs. You’d never felt the way you did when she looked at you, and you let yourself hope that it was true. That she was real. 

“See ya, cutie,” she winked, and you fought to stay calm, to act normal while you paid the bill, and walked to your apartment. 

You tried to pack, but couldn't care about what you grabbed. All you cared about were those three kisses, and the gift shop on the pier. 

Stuffing your guilt down deep, you decided not to risk saying goodbye to your sister. You’d call her when you called your clients. You’d call when you were free.

~~~

I should get her something. This’ll be our real anniversary.

Cheeks burning from suppressing your grin, you inspected every, single, tiny item in the store while you waited. You would have exploded if you’d waited at home, so you arrived a bit early, trying not to squeal while you searched for the perfect gift. 

“Don’t you think that one’s a bit tacky, niece?”

The rack of novelty shot glasses crashed to the floor when you stumbled into it, and the jarring sound shattered your hope that you were dreaming. 

“I apologize for my niece, she’s not well,” Uncle Cedrick charmed the shop worker, handing him a hefty wad of berry. “This should cover the damages, and my assistant has more for you outside, if you would allow us a few moments of privacy?”

The wide-eyed cashier didn’t hesitate when he saw all that berry, and you shook yourself enough to try to follow him out the door, but Uncle Cedrick stepped in your way, blocking your only path out of the tiny shop. 

“Where is she,” you seethed, not ready to know. 

“Oh, you mean that trash you called your girlfriend,” he taunted, reaching for your chin until you backed away. “We just had a quick chat in that disgusting apartment of hers, and she decided that she’d rather run away with some pocket change than with her little cutie.”

“She wouldn’t,” you breathed, sick fear taking your fire before you’d been able to use it. “What did you do to her?”

“Nothing at all, Y/N. If you'd like proof, we can head back to my office to watch the recording. I’m sure the surveillance snail captured just how little she cared about you. You should have seen her face light up when she saw the berry,” he scoffed while his eyes devoured you, gorging on every moment of weakness you showed.

It was just pretend. 

You couldn’t take it, so you didn’t, shoving all thoughts of your second “love” aside to focus on anything else.

“Surveillance snail… at her apartment,” you asked, feeling woozy. Going empty. Then freezing when he leaned over you, his twisted cocktail of smug condescension, and well-leashed anger barreling down on you.

“I may be humoring your little game of make believe, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are the heiress of Sylvad’s,” Uncle Cedrick threatened, finally taking a gentle grip on your chin.

You were too lost to pull away this time. 

“I will do anything to protect our family, including sending an army of snails to watch over you,” he smirked, invading your space even more to whisper his next words in your ear. “Although, I’m glad you haven’t spotted any yet, Y/N. I can only imagine what the doctor would say if you hurt–” 

“That was an accident,” you choked out, almost knocking over another rack of useless clutter to get away from him.

He straightened up, scanning the mess you’d made while fear left you shaking. 

“So many accidents… A pattern of behavior… Are you feeling well, niece?”

“I’m fine,” you almost purred. Your fear had taken the reins, shutting you down. You were still there, the strange sensation of floating slightly outside of your body, feeling your feelings as if they were diluted. A single drop of pain in a tub of numbing water.

Numb enough not to flinch when he put his arm around your shoulders, leading you outside, and into his stupid cedar carriage, with its stupid carvings of cedar trees.

A little laugh bubbled out of you once the carriage was moving, but you swallowed it down, catching the flare in his eyes at the sound.

“I didn't realize you enjoyed women.”

“I’m sorry,” you coughed, frustrated that you were coming back to reality so soon. 

“Nothing to be sorry about,” your uncle soothed, patting your knee. “You just need to remember your responsibilities. Marry a fitting man, and let him fuck a few Sylvad heirs out of you, but don’t worry, dear niece. You can keep as many mistresses as you like after you're married.”

He seemed so happy, so pleased. 

Does he really think he’s being generous?

~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~~

“In fact,” Uncle Cedrick purred, tapping your nose, “since I robbed you of your plaything, why don’t I let you borrow one of mine? Security reported that you spent quite a bit of time with your tongue in that cheap whore’s cunt. I’m sure my little assistant can help to elevate your palate.”

That gentle rocking motion almost tipped the scale, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t throw up in your uncle’s favorite carriage. You couldn’t let him see you that weak.

Even though you both knew you were.

“What do you say? I’m sure she’ll–”

“No, thank you, Uncle Cedrick.”

“Hm, your loss, niece. Darla’s quite delectable,” he hummed, stretching his arms across the back of the cushioned bench.

~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~

“I think it would be best if you stayed with the family for a while. I’ll arrange transportation for that little bank hobby of yours.”

Lips parted. Then closed. Afraid of what might spill out. 

“Running away from your job and your family is extreme behavior, Y/N. I’m just concerned for your well being. I’d hate for you to—“

“I’m sorry, Uncle. I’ll be fine.”

“There’s my smarty.”

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🗡️🔴🤡🐊~~~

The clown forced himself to eat, listening to the slow taps of her silverware while she ate alone. 

He seethed, remembering the warning the servant had given at her request for privacy.

“Mr. Sylvad has stated that you may rest this evening, but stresses that you are expected to return to family duties tomorrow. He requested that I ask if you are feeling well, Miss—“

“I’m fine,” his star had lied. After that, all he’d heard was shuffling, a few polite hums from servants, then nothing but her body, until she let out a sigh. The empty sound made his chest ache.

“Why didn’t she trust her sister,” Buggy frowned, looking up at the men who were scouring his shitty notes while they ate.

They all stared, waiting. Buggy felt the pressure closing in around him. 

I bet they wish they could still beat this out of me.

The other men tensed when Buggy choked out a laugh, the tension winding tight around them all. A fragile new truce, a trust that had been destroyed before it was born, was building slowly between these pirates. Yet the clown could almost taste the potential for violence while he held the only link to the woman they loved. 

The villains not known for their patience or compassion had to balance their urge to bleed the world around them until they got what they wanted. 

Especially since that world now included a brave, little clown. 

“Why do you say that, Buggy,” Crocodile rasped, breathing out the rage his own helplessness had stoked. 

“She lied to her. They were alone, and Y/N still said she wants to be there. Wants to marry some fucking twat head—“

“Sylvad wasn’t there? Are you sure there weren’t any staff—“

“I’m fucking sure,” the clown snapped at Sir Crocodile, his breath freezing in his lungs until the larger man nodded. 

“Of course. I know you’ve got her.”

Ice melted, leaving Buggy speechless until his red haired lover chimed in. 

“Maybe she's lying to protect her sister. From your notes it sounds like Sylvad was trying to sell Kat too. That could be why Y/N's going along with him.”

“That’s a possibility,” Mihawk drawled, still scanning the rumpled pages. “Or perhaps Kathryn Sylvad isn’t a trustworthy confidant. Y/N didn’t seem… well after their conversation the other day, and from what I heard, it seemed as though her dear sister were urging her to go back to him.”

“But she apologized,” Buggy coughed, swallowing too fast so he could counter the point. “It seems like they’re both trapped by Uncle ShitLick.”

“Not all apologies are worthy of trust,” Mihawk breathed, stopping his hunt to meet Buggy’s gaze. “It's the actions that follow that show the truth of those words. I believe that’s how this thing works, isn’t it?”

The clown was speechless again, but this time with a crooked smile as he watched the swordsman dive back into the crumpled pages.

“Our girl might be afraid of someone listening in,” Crocodile mused, his deep voice catching all of their attention.

“Buggy said they were alone,” Shanks defended, cocking his head at the ex-Warlord. He still couldn’t tell if the man was scowling at him, or if that was just how his face normally looked. 

“Sylvad’s paranoid,” Crocodile grumbled, setting a note down so he wouldn’t crush it. “He’s got all that security, and marines on fucking standby when he travels, but he came all the way here in person to get her back.”

The other pirates held their breaths before jumping in, letting the man with the most violence radiating from him finish his thought first.

“He needs her for whatever fucking plans he’s got, and I don’t think Sylvad is gonna let her out of his sight for a second after she almost got away. I wouldn’t either. I’d watch her like a…”

Shame had become physical, almost visible as it filled the air around them.

“Like a hawk,” Mihawk spat, closing his eyes against the self loathing that had crawled back to the surface. “I listened to her. I told her I was. She–”

“Hey, crybaby,” Buggy taunted, sending a floating hand to squeeze the swordsman’s cheeks together. His body felt electric, as though speaking with the golden eyed man were some death defying feat. It had always been deadly, and the clown smirked at the thought that he might just be an adrenaline junkie. 

Mihawk didn’t answer, though his eyes showed enough danger for Buggy to release him before continuing. 

“Moping’s not gonna help her,” he scolded, glancing at Crocodile before floating his upper body to glower over the swordsman. “You were monsters, but you said you’re sorry. Now prove it.”

Shanks smiled, pleasure and pride filling his veins while he watched them. He nodded at Crocodile, whose scowl seemed to be fading, bit by bit. 

The clown kissed the ex-Warlords, just a press of bare lips to the scarred man's cheek, and the swordsman's forehead, before floating back. The Emperor sidelined him, pulling him from the air to steal his own kiss before he could bring his body together again. 

A moment of peace.

Swiftly broken.

“We’re not monsters to her anymore,” Crocodile reasoned, her last words to him blaring through his mind, “but our sweet girl might not know that. She might still think we’ll use her, that we’ll hurt her.”

“Not Buggy, though,” Mihawk soothed, remembering all that blood on the floor. “Even if our darling doesn’t want monsters like us, I know she’d rather be with our little clown than to waste away in that prison of a life.”

“She loves you, Bugs,” Shanks hummed, rubbing his hand along the clown’s back.

“Of course she does,” Buggy agreed, listening to the sacred music of her heart. He looked up at his Executives, surprised at how much he wanted to make them smile. “I’m pretty sure she likes you guys too.”

Silver and gold eyes brightened before Buggy glanced at the soft, brown ones beside him. 

“Not sure about you, though. I think your charm has finally worn off.”

Buggy’s tease stirred up that sea of guilt, and Shanks had to steel himself not to sink back into it. 

I really hope it didn’t. I’m gonna need it.

~~~🗡️🔴🤡🐊~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

As much as you had needed to see your sister, you were grateful that she’d given you space. 

I might never have a moment to myself again. 

That thought had been a lot more fun the last time you had it. 

All the feelings you’d held at bay started trickling in, and you knew the only way to fight it was to remind yourself what it was. 

It was all pretend.

It was just for daydreams. 

Now I’ve got enough lovely daydreams to last a long, boring lifetime.

Hours must have gone by. You probably could have estimated the time if you’d counted your breaths.

Instead, you counted everything else. Counted, multiplied, divided. So many meaningless math problems to help you pass the time until it felt late enough.

Floating through the suite, you opened every drawer, peeked behind every curtain, and stared at the floral wallpaper until you were sure there was nothing but flowers.

Almost sure. 

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

“Such good, little toys,” Mihawk praised, though you hardly heard it with his cock slamming down your throat. He fisted your hair, growling for you to look at him, and his deadly eyes filled with twisted satisfaction as he trailed his thumb over your cheekbone. His cock pulsed along your tongue when he drank your tears from his skin, and the sight sent you spasming again, your body clenching tight around the man behind you.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re squeezing Daddy’s cock so fucking hard.”

Too much. Never enough. 

They held you bent between them, fucking through you so deep it felt like they’d meet in the middle, crushing you with pleasure. 

“Our little vixen was built for this, weren’t you? We’re going to fucking ruin you, and you’ll keep begging for more. Gods, you look gorgeous choking on me like that, rabbit… Clown, are you still taking care of our darling?”

“Y-yeah, I’ve got her,” Buggy whined, his hand still floating under your body, fingers teasing your clit.

Helping them wreck you. 

“And what about you,” Mihawk taunted, though his voice was starting to strain.

“You’re taking us so well,” Crocodile praised, tracing his hand down your back while the other men spoke. “So proud of my sweet girl— Mm, there ya go, babydoll. Keep coming for Daddy.”

“I’m impressed, toy,” the wicked swordsman purred. “Pleasuring our darling and yourself while she gets destroyed, and you still haven’t made a mess? What do you think, sandman? Does the clown deserve to help us?”

“You talk too much,” Crocodile growled, and you saw stars as he held your hip in place while he tore you apart, taking you over, making your body his. 

You were already gone, flying further away with every brutal, overwhelming sensation.

“Let’s drown her.”

Buggy’s fingers on your clit, Crocodile’s cock splitting you open, and Mihawk’s vicious assault on your throat. 

Perfect. Nothing fucking like it. 

They held you still while they stuffed you full, the heat of their come filling you so much it almost hurt, but you didn’t want it to stop. 

“My star.”

You weren’t sure that you’d heard that soft voice while he marked you, spilling so much come across your back, dripping down your hips. 

“You’re lucky our darling needs our full attention,” Mihawk threatened. His now gentle hands wiped you clean, helping you lay down, soothing your needy whimpers.

“You couldn’t protect her. No matter how much we let you play, she’ll never be yours again,” Crocodile reminded, his fingers tensing against your skin when you couldn’t hold in a broken, little noise. 

“Buggy…”

The two ex-Warlords surrounded you, shushing and soothing, kissing down your body while they apologized for scaring you. 

And you were wrecked and selfish enough to let it work, sinking into their touch, their praise. 

It was wrong.

But it felt too fucking good to let these villains take care of you. They ruined you, then treated you like precious treasure.

You had never felt more cared for than you did in the clutches of these Cross Guild villains. 

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

No. It was just pretend. They were pretending! Just like…

Your daydream had given you the release you needed while you stayed as still as you could beneath the covers, your face shoved down into the mattress after you’d accidentally whispered your clown’s name, wishing his fingers could still find you. 

Then you were lost, spinning down into dangerous memories. Letting yourself pretend they cared would be unbearable.

They wanted to own me. I wanted to let them. 

You groaned, freeing your hand to shake out the cramp you’d earned from the restricted position. 

In the end, you hadn’t wanted them to own you. Not really. Not like this. It would have made it too hard to pretend they cared, and you had clung to that for too long. 

It was pretend, and now I have daydreams to pass the time. 

You just needed to stop the daydreams before the parts when they pretended to care too much. Choking on that new rule, you forced yourself to wash your face, avoiding your own eyes while you swallowed more useless tears to keep from drowning in them. 

They would have dried your tears, soothed them, tasted them. Aching need almost dropped you to the bathroom floor, slumping over yourself while you dug your nails into your thighs, hiding your quiet rage. 

Get your fucking shit together!

The mirror finally caught you. Empty eyes stared back, and you would have slipped into that distant place, if not for the glint of silver over your heart. 

It was all pretend. Just throw it away. 

Eons passed before you could move, and your body ached from its time as an unwilling statue, but you didn’t take it off. Everything was gone, everything in your world was empty, but for this pretty locket that was missing its key. You brought it to your lips, leaving a kiss for a life that might have been. 

Maybe some love is real after all. That’s nice to know… Even if someone like me can never have it.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you!!

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! My health and work situations are still all sorts of chaos, but this is my favorite thing to do, so hopefully I'll have enough spoons to get back to my usual time between updates!

I want to thank all of you so much for your incredible support. I'm still having a hard time responding to things one on one, but I see and read everything, and your kindness and lols have genuinely helped me through all this yuck. You have my heart! 💜

Also, everybody please thank my partner for Mihawk's and reader's notes! Lol, I already had shitty handwriting before my medication gave me shaky hands, so Buggy's was the only one I could actually write 😅

Tag List: @shewrites02 | @caniseethefourthsword | @hey-august | @chaoticqueen33 | @destinationmars | @novakitten0901 | @h0n3y-l3m0n05 | @dorky-birdie | @szired | @pinejayy | @laws-wife-things | @jadeddangel | @gingernut1314 | @urlocaltwink | @blue-rae18 | @bontensbabygirl | @bbnbhm | @0-sparkling-lace-0 | @ihearthazuki | @mikisspeak | @djloveyou3000 | @mercymccann | @horse-and-writer97

Part 30

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |

[thetavolution]

Theresa "Tessa" Chastain

What if your Tav was a recruitable companion, instead of the main character?  (contains major spoilers for the game, and for some dark urge runs as well)

General

Where can your Tav be recruited?  Are they first encountered on the Nautiloid, or in the Nautiloid crash region?  Or are they not recruitable until a later act? You'd meet her at the Nautiloid crash region. She wouldn't be far from Gale and Astarion.

Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav? For clarification, Tessa is a rogue/monk human. Shadowheart: "Another rogue. At least this one can punch, I suppose." Astarion: "Hm. Well, we'll see if she can keep up with the likes of me. I'm not holding my breath though." Gale: "A rogue monk! It'll be a delight to have one among our ranks. Smart move, recruiting her." Lae'zel: "We may be able to use her skills. I approve of her joining us, for now."

Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions? Shadowheart: "She's hiding something, but I guess we all are. She's just not as subtle as she thinks she is." She guesses right away Shadowheart is a Shar worshipper. She just doesn't say anything until it's out in the open. When it's revealed, "I'm not the only one who figured it out, right?" PC can agree or disagree that they figured it out before Shadowheart said anything. Astarion: "Keep your eye on that one. I have a bad feeling about him. But it's also a little hypocritical for me to come down on a fellow rogue, isn't it?" Gale: "He is quite the charmer. At least, I'm charmed by him. And I'd say having a wizard on hand would be wise. They're powerhouses." Wyll: "The Blade of the Frontiers, huh? Not how I pictured him. But if he's half as good as the stories say, we'd be smart to keep him close." Lae'zel: "I've never seen a gith in person before. I think I'll have fun traveling with her! If she doesn't take my head off." Halsin: "I had no idea an elf could get so big. And he has a big heart to match. Good move recruiting him. We're lucky to have him." Karlach: "She is absolutely darling. We have to take her with us. Look at her! She's precious and good at killing. What more can you ask for?" Minthara: "You sure about Minthara? I mean really sure? I don't know if I like her tagging along...." Minsc: "He's a little different, but you always need someone to... help think outside the box! I trust your judgment on this one." Jaheira: "Normally, I'd say don't meet your heroes... but Jaheira is the exception. I can't believe we get to travel with her!"

What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval? She's fond of kindness in general. She has a bit of a Robin Hood complex. However, she also approves of stealing a lot. She's not perfect by any means.

Are there any instances where your Tav can permanently leave the party, depending on player character actions? If you push her too far and pick the meanest options, she'll eventually hit her limit and leave.

Do they have any secrets that can be revealed?  What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light? If PC gets high enough approval, she'll eventually reveal her father is a renowned member of the Zhentarim. She's from Icewind Dale so a lot of the local members don't know who she is by sight alone. She's already "part of the family" even if she doesn't reveal it to anyone. PC can also pry it out of her when they cross paths with the Zhentarim for the first time. If they catch her acting weird and call her out on it, they can try to persuade or intimidate the truth out of her.

Do they have their own personal quest that spans the course of the game?  Can it take different branching paths depending on the choices the Player Character makes? She does. Hers would involve her father, Edogard, and the Zhentarim. It can change based on how you interact with the Zhentarim members throughout the game, especially the hideout at Waukeen's Rest. It also changes on if you get Tessa to confess her past. Her father can also betray PC if he sees monetary gain in it. (This includes turning on his own daughter.) PC can potentially talk him out of it and get him to not, you know, let his daughter die for money. If found and persuaded, Edogard, Leander, and Blue can potentially help in the fight against the Absolute. Edogard will give you a whistle to summon them.

What do they say when the Player Character asks them to stay in camp?  How about when the Player Character asks them to come adventuring again? Stay: "You sure about that?" If you're sure: "If you say so. I'll be at the ready when you need me." Come: "Yes! I can't wait to get out there and bash some cultist heads."

Does your Tav have any escalating conflicts with one of the other companions, like Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s knife-fight? She doesn't. She's surprisingly good at keeping her cool. She's the one who tries to deescalate everything.

Are there any unique NPCs associated with your Tav that can show up during the course of the game? There are a few if you head to the right location and dig deep into the Zhentarim. PC will meet her parents, Edogard and Sibyl. PC can also meet her twin brother, Leander, or her winter wolf, Blue.

Are there any moments in the game that trigger unique dialogue for your character? (Like Gale’s anecdote about the barfight after you save the goblin prisoner)  You can trigger unique dialogue with almost any interaction with the Zhentarim. It depends on if she's confessed she's from a Zhentarim family or not, too. She'll tell stories from her childhood or about her relatives. She'll confess she went on her first "job" when she was ten.

Story Specific

How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor? "You had the dream, too? I think we should listen to what they have to say. They're protecting us for a reason so let's be cautiously optimistic about it. Keyword: Cautiously."

How do they advise the player character on Raphael? "I don't like this. Why is he so interested in us? Something's fishy. No matter what happens, we cannot make a deal with him."

How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character? "We were traveling with a vampire the whole time? Seems obvious in hindsight. Well, as long as he keeps his fangs to himself, it's fine by me."

How do they react to the Player Character letting Abdirak whip them? "It's not quite my thing, but please, go ahead and enjoy yourself. Try not to get too beat up. We still need you in one piece."

How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power? "Gods. I never thought I'd see anyone voluntarily put one of those things in their skull, let alone more. But it could prove to be useful. You'll tell me if you start feeling weird, right?"

Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently? She leaves if you kill the tieflings. She will also leave permanently if you get too evil.

What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party? She'd be taking some time to herself at her tent with a glass of wine. In her younger days, she was a wild child who'd be dancing and getting drunk. Now she just likes to sit back and watch the festivities. She can be persuaded to join in by PC though.

Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with?  She wishes PC good luck with whoever they pick. She would have something nice to say about everyone. This is a party full of hotties. She tells PC that if anyone breaks their heart to let her know and she'll take care of it.

Do they have unique dialogue if the Player Character lets them die when they steal the Blood of Lathander? "Wow. Wow. You just... up and got me killed. I just have one question. WHY?" If Tav says they'll be more careful next time: "You're planning a next time?!"

How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar? "Wait... No! You put that down!" If you lick it a second time, "Gods, what in the bloody hells is wrong with you?" If romanced, "I hope you don't expect me to kiss you after this."

What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown? First sees Dribbles: "You know, there's a whole art to clowning? It can be a really beautiful art form.... Not what he's doing. What he's doing is a shitshow." Offers to send her up: "What? No, no thank you. I'm fine right here." Forced to go up: "Fine. But you owe me big time for this."

Is it possible for your Tav to be kidnapped and replaced by Orin?  How is Orin's deception revealed?  How do they react to the PC rescuing them in the Temple of Bhaal? It is. Orin would struggle to get a hold of Tessa's personality. Orin would have Tessa have a meltdown about being a bad person who wasted her life. Orin understands what her fears are, but not how she'd act on them. When rescued, she'd say something like, "Dear Gods, what is this place.... It smells worse than it looks."

How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn? Ascend: "Today feels like a very dark day. One that's going to haunt me to the grave." Spare the Spawn: "I hope this was the right thing to do. I don't want to kill them, but I don't want anyone else getting hurt either."

How does Tav react to the PC becoming a mind flayer?  Can they offer to become one themselves?  Does their reaction change if they’re romanced?  She'd be a little alarmed, but supportive of PC. She would never become a mind flayer herself though. If romanced, she'll stay by their side no matter what. She might even find them cute.

How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them? "This might be the tadpole's doing. Mine hasn't done anything like that, but it doesn't mean it won't. We should all keep an eye on each other. A close eye."

How do they react to the Dark Urge killing Alfira? "Dear Gods... that poor girl. Why? Why would you do this?" She'd also say things like "I thought we were safe here. Safe as you can get in situations like this. I feel so vulnerable."

If romanced, how do they react to the Dark Urge trying to kill them in Act 2? She's scared at first, but powers through it to take care of PC. "Hey, it's gonna be okay. I'll be right here with you. Whatever you need, I will provide."

Romance

Is your Tav a romanceable character?  Are there any specific requirements to romancing them? She is. She's another one you just have to gain approval from. She responds well to kindness and affirmation.

Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough? She can be oblivious so flirting is crucial to get her to realize you want her. (In my play through, I imagine she didn't realize Gale was trying to flirt with her when teaching her magic at first.)

Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option? She is a monogamous kind of gal. She doesn't judge people who are poly. It's just not for her.

Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party? Yes, you can get her to spend the night with you, but she's a romantic. She'll want something soft and sweet.

Does the romance have different branching paths, or just one route to take? There are two, at least. One option, you can follow her into a life of crime and keep her in the Zhentarim. The other option is that you can talk her into settling down with you and leaving crime behind once the adventure is over.

How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them? She's hurt. It breaks her heart, but she wishes you well. She has a very "smile though your heart is aching" approach to it. She's been broken up with many times before. She's a pro at it. She'll try to find the bright side to it and tell PC to take care of their heart.

What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test?  "Many things delight the heart, but only one makes it sing. Tell me, what does she desire more than anything?" 1. To steal as much as possible 2. To become a writer ★ 3. Love ★ "Listen. Think. When is she most comfortable?" 1. When she's at home with people she loves ★ 2. At the library with plenty of books to read ★ 3. In a Zhentarim hideout "We often gaze through a veil of roses, but love accepts both the petal and the thorn. Tessa - what is her greatest flaw?" 1. She falls in love too easily. ★ 2. She's not that bright. 3. She's a horrible, rotten thief! 4. She's impatient and doesn't look before she leaps. ★

If they’re poly, do they have a reaction to the PC engaging in a relationship with Halsin? She's not poly so it just kind of hurts her. She tells PC that she can pursue something with her or him, but not both.

How do they react if the PC has sex with Mizora? The Emperor?  Haarlep? She'd break up with them. It has nothing to do with who it is, but the fact they did it at all. She's been cheated on before so it'd be really rough. If PC is an ass, she can possibly leave the group over it.

Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no? It makes her uncomfortable, so no. Sleeping with them will also damage the relationship and she'll break up with PC.

What are Tav’s plans for the future?  Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in? She wants to get married. She can take or leave having kids, but she'd rather adopt if they go that route.

Free space! Share anything from your companion!Tav au! She's one of my only Tavs that only exists in the BG3 universe haha. I'd love to have original art of her someday, though. Or even play her in a proper TTRPG.

[dei-ryuu]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers!

@isleofair did their response to this questionnaire and I wanted to try to!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14, most from doing an OTP week a couple years back. I'm... very much focused on my long running wip...

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

417,808 and most of it is just from Symbiosis (at 290K atm)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Ace Attorney right now. I've had other fandoms I've written for in the past, (my ff.net repertoire was much more diverse) but they're mostly fandoms I've fallen out of.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Symbiosis (2,408)

Perennial Pursuits (661)

Rule of Three (574)

Unlock Successful (567)

Day and Night (393)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Not really. Mostly if someone asks me a specific question (that wouldn't be a plot spoiler). I'm very bad a responses, since my main reaction to comments is just a big dumb grin on my face.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Sleep Talk??? I guess??? It's a side-story to the main fic so there's not really an ending and some of the introspection it focuses on is little sad. Idk, I'm not that big into angst.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say Unlock Successful because it's a sappy proposal fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully I have yet to. Maybe during the olden days (ff.net), but I don't remember at this point.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. Not opposed to it, just hasn't been relevant for anything I'm working on.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I used to. I did a Danny Phantom/Scooby-Doo crossover a loooong time ago. Nowadays I do more characters in X universe/setting (aka AUs).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have, it's not been brought to my attention.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone was working on a Chinese translation of Symbiosis and I wish them all the luck with that beast if they're still at it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Don't have fic-writers I'm close with (something I should change, but introvert habits die hard)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Wizardmon and Gatomon! (Wizgato or Wiztail) I used to write for them - again, the ff.net days - and I want to again! Just lacking in ideas.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I only have one wip I want to finish, which is Symbiosis, but I AM going to finish it. I dunno when that'll happen, but it WILL happen gdi

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at characterization and getting the tone right. And I enjoy my overall writing style.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm stubborn when I get stuck. I know a technique you're supposed to do is skip whatever you're stuck on and write the next section, but I am very bad at that. I try to just push through until I get it and then my brain allows me to work on the rest of the scene.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I personally avoid it to avoid butchering other languages. I write around POV, so the reader is generally meant to have the same info as the character we're following: if the POV understands the language I'd translate it while making a note that it wasn't said in english, and if they don't, say something was said in X language and leave it there.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Probably Danny Phantom, but who really knows at this point. I've been writing fic for a long time

20. Favorite fic you've written? Symbiosis is my baby. It's tormented me for years at this point, but it is very much my baby. I always wanted to write books when I was younger and it's the fic that helped me realize that that's something I can still do.

Similarly to how I found this, if you want to do this, feel free to (and also feel free to tag me if you do)

[elmaxlys]

This was a super weird dream, in a good way? Like it was super interesting in a way I can't really describe. It was a new CSM chapter somehow (that I lived, not read), involving a character named Hyuun who WASN'T drawn in the CSM style and rather looked like he belonged in MDZS (I say that because Wei Wuxian made a guest appearance). Hyuun (also known as Sakizawa Shoto by his former owners, bc he was a slave) was an assassin of sorts. When he was a kid, he was, as I said, a slave to some guy he both loved and hated who looked like if Shou Tucker had a soul and a wife still (I say that because Edward Elric made a guest appearance).

So like, we're seeing a flashback, from street kid Hyuun luring customers to Owner's place bc they want one just like him. He takes them to the shop, and there are, like, only shops like that in the street and Hyuun hesitates to take him to another becsuse he doesn't like the guy that talked to him. But he still does his job, and when Owner and Customer talk, he's hiding behind some furniture in the far corner of the room. He can hear them talk, there's even Wife, but he can't see them.

Flashback over- back to present where Denji, no chainsaw head, only chainsaw hands, has his eyes wide and on his side there's one single flashback panel: they knew each other as street kids before Hyuun got taken. Hyuun also recognizes him and starts to back away and then outright flees. There's a chase scene on the rooftops until finally Denji catches up. But too late. Hyuun already bit a poison pill AND his tongue for good measures and collapses on the ground. (ground ground they're no longer on the roofs. why is it roofs and not rooves??) Denji screams for help and tries to make him spit the poison and then he notices the tongue thing and Hyuun's eyes are losing their light and Denji lies down on him, with his head in the crook of his neck and chest and the chapter ends there.

I read some posts about it, I make some of my own, which is why I remember it's CSM lmao I had to tag billions of spoiler warnings for that death. It was, specifically, CSM 149 lol. I was, like, pacing in my room and wanting to scream my lungs out (Hyuun was a favorite). I went to my DeviantArt page, which I was apparently still using, to look at some TG art and found very good Matsurie paintings in my own gallery (except that Matsuri didn't have his beard) and I was like??? I don't remember painting that.

Then scene change, back in the black and white world of Hyuun dying. Denji dragged Hyuun's body to his former Owner's place, as they were among the only ones not to have deserted the city and therefore they should have something to help. Owner wasn't there when they got there so Denji starts looking through things to get medicine. But then Owner gets back, not with Wife but with Wei Wuxian, as he was treating with him for... business idk. Denji has to fight the urge to fight or flight but gets in front of them like. I need help. And he leads them to Hyuun's body and Owner is like "Sakizawa?" and Denji answers back "his name is Hyuun" and Wei Wuxian gets close and both him and Owner say his life is gone.

Scene change, we're now outside, Denji still dragging Hyuun's body. He gets to the city place and looks up at the moon. Wei Wuxian is there and they don't exchange words but I'm pretty sure he proposed that he'd make him come back as a Wen Ning of sorts (sorry I don't remember the exact terms). Denji looks conflicted and heartbroken, but then guess who gets there? Edward Elric, probably summoned by the mere idea of bringing someone back from the dead. He has a foldable bike, don't ask me why. He folds it back and walks toward them and says something and I can still hear his voice but I have no idea what he said. Dream ends.

For the stats: first part lived through Hyuun's eyes. 2nd part, regular old me, only online so ppl called me elmax. 3rd part seen all externally.