#i have no goddamn control over my brain at 1AM

[hoziersong]

one of my biggest nightmares is happening to me right now haha how fun

[likemymask]

One Piece Daemon AU

Presented with only slight spelling corrections and some elaborations, the mess of a One Piece Daemon/His Dark Materials AU that would not leave me alone and would only let me work on it at 1-3AM.

Also now I’m writing snippets for it just like my Gundam Wing and Star Trek daemon AU. Because.

Luffy: sea king with Conqueror Haki so they can’t be controlled. Separated but not because that’s as free as you can get. Fuck yea, she’s in north blue chilling the fuck out (heh) half the time and being absolutely chaotic as shit the other half. Her attitude is diametrically opposed to what Luffy is doing at the time. LOL she runs/swims into Shanks when Luffy’s still barely a pirate so he has no idea (not that the marines do either) one time. This 2000ft tall monster is squinting at him, and he thinks he’s about to get ate and then she goes “oh you’re so much smaller now!” Cause of course she spent her formative years as a baby version of his daemon. The entire crew is goddamn losing it, cause what kind of monster is this that even Red Hair’s Haki can’t control it, until Shanks yells out her name and then everyone loses it further still. I have decided Eastern dragon aesthetic but water/earth theme as opposed to Kaido’s air/fire theme. Still blue, but blue-green, tiger stripes cause camoflage and also badass and maybe she settles after Luffy meets Zoro’s daemon *whistles*

Zoro: tiger obviously normal colors or green and black cause why the fuck not, Zoro is not into stealth really. ”The only one who can call me stupid is me. “ “.....stupid” Cat vs sword fight ensues. Can be found cuddling Chopper when Zoro’s tired, super sloshed, both.

Nami: monkey? Lemur: small, fast, quick hands, caring but only when you prove you deserve it. Absolutely torments Zoro’s when she’s pissed because tigers can’t normally climb fucking main masts but a) she parkours and b) when has that ever stopped Zoro/her? Likes to hang out in the tree grove, absolutely pick pockets people while Nami plays distraction.

Robin: cat some kind of cat not big CARACAL. Looks aloof but absolutely ready to be ridiculous at any opportunity.

Franky: dog or dolphin. Something excitable loyal ready to throw down Newfoundland? Big, friendly, over-excitable, likes water and sailing...yes.

Usopp: Corvid or monkey; curious, intelligent, stubborn, inventive, tool solving/using. Lives in groups/troops and cares for others. Probably corvid, too similar to Nami otherwise. Crow most likely.

Sanji: swan. Black, and absolutely a viper and very sorry about Sanji’s attitude towards woman cause she’s more refined about it. Same intensity though. Will bite the shit out of you. Tiger vs swan fight, GO. Do also groom each other though cause human affectionate displays are stupid sometimes.

Fishmen don’t have daemons its another conflict and excuse for racism.

Law: wolf but like starved and Eurasian crazy with it. LONG leggos. Spiky black fur around the head, grey black white speckled cause T R A U M A

Ace: was a fire hawk, no actual fire but red as hell and BIG tail and wings. Her species not liked on most islands cause they don’t leave once they’re settled. They stand their ground. More angst ha ha. Never met settled Luffys daemon because I’M A MONSTER.

Sabo: never settled until he learned Ace was dead and then she settled as fire hawk because trauma and angst and also he knows who he is now. Not being settled was useful for a while when he did infiltration etc but now they’re both happy/sad about it.

Garp. Big dog. Bull mastiff dog. Not good with kids only with attacking things and defending but very loyal. Also big. “ Bullmastiffs are also difficult even for adults to control, so they aren’t a good choice if your child wants to help walk the dog. They like to please and crave attention, but they’re so big that even a well-intentioned nudge can end up hurting small children. ” HMMMMM RINGS A BELL, THIS DOES

Chopper: also no daemon or if so then monkey because HANDS. OH BOI THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A FUN THING. EAT SOME FRUIT, WAKE UP WITH A SOUL. Wait no people think he’s a pet. No daemon then.

Mihawk: literally whatever Shank’s daemon is he insists this is why they’re friends while Mihawk wine aunts in the background. He’s more refined though than Shanks and his soul (this is not a challenge). Like absolutely cold as ice until he cracks a pun, but no one believes the victim cause no way Mihawk would do that. Soooo proud, regal, loyal but willing to have a good time. Some kind of dog or cat. Big and fast and POWER. Could do big cat to be more like Zoro or a dog/canid to foil it. Maned wolf?

Vivi: it’s lazy to say her bird Caracue I can’t spell it’s one am but imma do it. KAROO HOW THE FUCK DID I MISSPELL THAT.

Crocodile: big fuck off alligator cause fuck you that’s why. HOLY FUCK I FORGOT HE HAD THE BANANA ONES IN HIS CASINO THAT’S GREAT

Logias turn to same element so Ace’s daemon is now a literal actual fire hawk, fuck the history books I’m writing this shit.

Don fuck face Flamingo: is what it is but like Kipo And the Age of Wonderbeasts it got TEETH, cause anything that survived acid water and shit is not cool. In fact, you know what, she’s albino and thinks that makes her special, honey you just don’t got shrimp vitamins, you buffoon of a bird.

All the dino Zoans are modern descendant of those animals so chickens. Or birds. Chickens would be so goddamn funny especially the 3 foot tall fluffy ones...fuck what’re they called(Brahmas). Oh wait. Emus. Ohhhhhhh fuck emus as an option.

Mammoth Zoan can have a Mammoth daemon because I want to see that on a ship.

(Makino) Bartender lady I can’t remember her name starts with m capybara cause she’s chill as shit and friend shaped. 

Dadan: is not friend shaped but is friend. Big fuck off bear or buffalo or wildebeest

Brooke: Laboon, Lampoon whatever Moby Dick. There’s some trauma, they had to leave him, but they didn’t want to and Brooke offered to stay but Laboon thought he’d be fine. Spoiler alert He Is Not. No one is fine.

Ohhhhhhh fuck bad good idea: Rogers daemon also a Sea King but the marines never goddamn figured it out, hoooooo my gods Shanks is having goddamn flashbacks. 

Momo and Kaido both have Eastern dragon daemons cause fake fruit.mythical zoan fruit but Momos is the size of a gecko and black so she’s hide-able. Kaido’s isn’t as big but is still Fuck Off huge. Red because I said so. 

Beastmen also do not have daemons because fuck the amount of significant characters in One Piece

Cora(zon): also had a wolf, because yay trauma and repeats and trauma bonding!But she was like, pretty yellow white and dog-ish up until the moment she ripped your throat out for offending her/harming her pack. Law learned much from her about appearances, being underestimated, and then for the most part did the exact opposite.

Slime man: *Aka Trebol* has a hagfish cause fuck him and Doflamingo

Boa: her snake weapon thing. Big noodley boy. The skull is for A E S T H E T I C

   Ace's daemon named Picaro: Spanish for naughty/badly behaved and that is a synonym for rogue cause MOMMA'S BOI and I keep misreading Rouge as rogue cause PIRATES, and this way it's a little better than naming the fire hawk Red though Ace does call her that sometimes .          You know what, he has the same daemon as Rouge/mom actually cause stubborn enough to not go into labor for 20 months is bonkers and that shit deserves recognition. Also because FUCK the number of characters in One Piece.              Celestial Dragons don't have special daemons but they do splice/separate cause they're fuckers that's why              AU of AU        Luffy's daemon close enough to WRECK MARINEFORD'S SHIT THAT'S RIGHT BABEY ACE LIVES, ASL REUNION AND SUCH          Sabo's daemon settles as a dog but one of the CRAZY breeds, like poodle or husky.

AU OF AU PART TWO: originally when thinking about a One Piece daemon AU Luffy was gonna have a cheetah; long, fast, use recoil to increase speed and change directions, males live in groups with their brothers and are highly affectionate. Tendency to run into walls. Has a fur pattern presentation named King Cheetah, looks like a more Armament Haki version.

[ohpedromypedro]

Vanity Affair

A continuation of this lovely ask I got ���💕

word count: 5.2k (oops?)

characters/pairing: Pedro Pascal x f!actress Reader

warnings: smut, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, squirting (multiple times), multiple orgasms, swearing, Papi kink, dom Pedro, unprotected sex (honestly at this point we can just assume that the reader in all my fics is on birth control unless stated otherwise 😆), there’s probably more but it’s almost 1am and I can’t think of em all.

summary: big nope, y’all know I hate them

You were definitely not expecting your cheesy little line to work on Pedro Pascal so easily, thought you were at least gonna need to try a little more flirting with him to actually get him to agree on bringing you home with him, but even now as you’re both sat in the backseat of a private limo headed to where he’s temporarily staying for the time being, his strong hands holding you firm around the waist while your lips are attached for a heated and explorative kiss, you’re still stunned. This is actually happening.

“Pedro,” you softly breathe into the kiss, your hands resting on his chest now moving to loop around his neck so you can card your fingers through his hair, your hips pressing even closer against him now.

“Mmhmm?” He hums in response, slowly pulling back from the kiss to gaze up at you. Your already plump lips are now swollen and lipstick smeared from the kiss and his cock twitches beneath the fabric of his suit pants as he thinks about how good they’d look wrapped around his length, even better with your red lipstick smeared all over it.

You feel the twitch of his cock against your core through the dress you’re wearing and immediately it makes you gasp at the feel of him hardening more against you. “Fuck, I--” You gently tug his hair, subconsciously grinding your hips against his hardening length with a quiet moan. “How did my silly little line work so easily?” You finally ask what’s been wracking your brain for fifteen minutes now, Pedro chuckling in response to your eager question.

“Because I had already caught you "enjoying the view" and thirsting over this suit of mine before you even thought of what line to use on me…” He smirks and gives your sides a small squeeze, smoothly trailing his hands down your thighs and past the fabric of your dress, his gaze set right where he wants it to be. “Does this suit do things to you, Y/N...does it make you wet through your panties?”

“I’m--not wearing any panties,” you admit with a soft breath, your cheeks red from finding out that he already caught and heard you ogling over him before your initial approach back at the Oscar party.

Pedro’s hands immediately push the fabric of your expensive dress up at your confession, pleased groan leaving his throat at the sight of your naked and clearly glistening folds. “Fuck, hermosa, I do this to you?” His hand shifts to trail his thumb along your wet slit to gather some of your wetness before moving it to rub slow circles on your exposed nub, eliciting a soft gasp and moan from you.

“Yes...” Your hips buck against his touch, leaning back so you can rest your hands on his shoulders and watch him as he plays with you. “You always--” you moan when he rubs faster, squeezing the fabric of his suit in response. “--look so fucking good, but this suit...oh god, it tops the cake...”

“Go on…” He smirks, momentarily flicking his gaze from your dripping cunt to your face which is absolutely blissed out from the way he’s rubbing your clit, loving the view of your parted lips and lidded eyes as you stare back at him.

“You look like a goddamn ten course meal,” you groan, earning an amused lighthearted laugh from Pedro.

“Yeah? Good enough to eat?” He muses, rotating his hand so while he still rubs your clit with his thumb he can now slip his middle finger into your needy core, his eyes dropped back down to watch as your cunt swallows it up.

“Oh god yes, all of it…” You moan quietly, squeezing your walls around his finger once it’s knuckle deep inside of you. “It’s a s-simple black tux, but Papi, you wear it so f-fucking well.”

“Fuck, I love when you call me that.” He groans, pulling his middle finger back to let his ring finger join it, quickly pushing them back in and giving them a curl against your g-spot. “Do it again.”

“Oh Papi,” you wail softly, tilting your head back with your mouth still agape while rocking your hips desperately against his fingers. “Fuck, Pedro, I...oh fuck, I won’t last long.” You inhale a shaky gasp, already feeling the building pleasure burning in the pit of your stomach from just the way his fingers fuck into you, his rubs on your clit helping tenfold.

“Yeah? Let go for me...make a mess for Papi because when we get back to my place, I’m going to do it all over again except this time I’ll be using my cock.” His freehand moves to grab you by the chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes as his fingers coax you toward your release. “I want you to look me in the eyes when I make you cum, princesa.”

“Oh please,” you cry out, biting your lip hard as you keep your gaze set on his, his fingers and thumb not letting up on their movements. You’re crying out again and squeezing hard around his fingers when that coil in your belly finally snaps, white hot pleasure washing over you as you feel yourself start to squirt for him. “Holy f-fucking shit!”

“Jesus, princesa that’s even better than Papi hoped for,” he groans when he feels your juices coating his fingers and the fabric of his pants, pulling you forward for a searing kiss with his hold on your chin as he finger fucks you through your orgasm. He was not expecting that, but he’s more than elated that it happened. It just makes him want to make you do it all over again.

You��re moaning into his mouth as your orgasm works its way through you, your nails digging into the suit of his jacket while you give his shoulders a hard grip. “Oh yes yes yes!” You moan out as your hips move harder against his fingers, his continuous rubs to your clit triggering another earth shattering orgasm from you. “Pedro!”

“Oh princesa, I can’t wait to get you home.” He growls, pulling his fingers from inside you after helping you through your second high and pressing them to your lips. “Suck.”

Immediately you comply, taking his release soaked fingers and sucking them into your mouth, swirling your tongue around in circles as you cleanse his digits of your juices and cum. “Mmmm…”

“Fuck, you are so obedient…” He whispers, watching with a darkened gaze as you slowly pull his fingers from your mouth with a quiet pop. “I take you home, I may not let you leave...”

“That’s one hundred percent fine with me, Mr Pascal.” You answer breathlessly, pressing yourself as close to him that you can get so you can lean in for a kiss with all tongue, letting himself have a taste of you on his own.

He groans and kisses you harder, his hands reaching around to grab your ass and keep you held flush against him. “You taste so good, princesa. I’m gonna need to have a better taste as soon as this driver gets us home.” He mumbles his words into the kiss, grunting as you grind your still drenched cunt against his straining cock in his pants.

“And what about me? Do I get a taste of you?” You murmur against his mouth, tracing your tongue along his bottom lip as you continue to kiss between words, adrenaline pumping through the two of you. “What if I want that cock in my mouth before this limo stops moving?”

“Then hurry up and get on your knees so you can,” he growls, giving your ass a smack before lifting you off his lap so he can place you on your knees between his parted thighs, his dark gaze settled on your plump lips. “Reapply your lipstick.”

“Wha?” You tilt your head curiously, sort of taken aback by his request, your hands reaching for his clothed thighs and pulling yourself more forward on your knees.

“I said...reapply your lipstick, princesa. Gonna make Papi tell you again?” He asks with raised brows, smiling with satisfaction when you quickly shake your head and move to grab your clutch purse, pulling the tube of red lipstick out and applying it evenly on your lips with your compact mirror as your guide. “Buena niña…”

You look up at him with doe eyes and a blush after repositioning yourself between his legs once you put your lipstick and mirror away, gasping when his hand grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls your face right where his cock is straining beneath his pants. “Papi…”

“What are you waiting for, princesa? Don’t you see Papi’s cock waiting for you?” He rasps, groaning as you let one of your hands palm him through the fabric of his suit before undoing the button and zipper and making quick work at pulling his length free, your eyes wide and lips parted as you start giving him a few hard strokes. “Fuck.”

“You’re so big…” You whisper, giving your lip a quick bite before moving to take him in your mouth, humming around his swollen head while you give it a small suck. He barely has time to react before you take him further into your mouth and toward the back of your throat, hollowing out your cheeks so you can give a few good hard sucks while you bob your head up and down on him.

“Bebita,” he groans deeply, hand in your hair tightening and helping to guide you along his length as you suck him off, his groans only getting deeper the more of his cock you take into your mouth. “Fuck, just like that, hermosa. So fucking good.”

“Mmhmmm…” You moan, eyes fluttered shut while you work at getting the entirety of his cock down your throat, wishing you could see the blissed out look on his Pedro’s face from the way you take him in your mouth, wanting to show him just how perfect it and your throat feels.

“You know what the fuck you’re doing… Christ.” He growls, rocking his hips upward in time with his pushes on your head and groaning at the way you choke and gag around him. “Papi loves it when you choke on his cock like that… Trying your best to make me feel good, huh?”

“Mmhmmmm…” You hum in response, groaning when he repeats his prior movement and has you choking on him again, the sound lewd as it escapes your throat. “Mmmmmm…”

“Fuck, princesa.” He grunts, tightening his fingers in your hair and momentarily yanking you off his cock so you can catch your breath, your mouth and chin drenched in drool while a long string of spit connects from your lips to his throbbing cockhead. Your lips are still swollen and once again lipstick smeared and Pedro can’t help but to gaze down at you as though you are the most beautiful piece of artwork he’s ever seen.

“Pedro…” You whisper, blush burning at your cheeks from the intensity of his gaze. You go to say something else when the limo comes to a complete stop, making Pedro quickly check his watch to see how long you’ve been driving.

“Shit, we’re here.” He groans at the unfortunate timing of your arrival to his current place of living, quickly tucking himself back in his pants for the time being. “Hurry and fix yourself up, hermosa. Papi doesn’t want anyone but him to see you in this position.”

You immediately move from between his legs and climb right back onto the seat beside him, about to use your dress to wipe your face before he stops you and uses his handkerchief instead. “Thank you…” You murmur with appreciation.

“Don’t want you to ruin that stunning dress of yours…” He smiles, tucking the handkerchief back into his pocket.

“And unfortunately I’ve ruined your pants…” You bite your lip, moving your gaze to his lap where it’s still damp with your squirt.

“Totally worth it.” He groans, leaning forward to capture your lips for a deep kiss, the limo door opening after a few moments.

“Your destination, Mr Pascal.” The older man smiles as he holds the door open, Pedro smiling in return after pulling back from the kiss and moving to climb out of the limo, reaching in his back pocket to grab a nice fifty dollar tip to give the driver. “Oh thank you, sir.”

“Thank you,” Pedro grins, turning back to hold his hand out for you to take and carefully helping you out of the limo. “Ready?”

“Absolutely,” you nod, giving the limo driver a quick smile. “Thank you for the ride, mister. Have a wonderful night.”

“As do you both,” he smiles and nods in appreciation, going back around the limo to get in the driver’s seat.

Pedro is hurriedly pulling you by the hand away from the sidewalk and toward the townhouse he’s renting for a few months, leading you right up the front steps and inside to the dining area where he immediately lifts you up and sits you at the edge of the table.

“Now I can finally get a better taste of that delicious little pussy of yours.” His voice is husky and seductive as he lifts your dress up and over your head, humming while he lays it over the back of one of the dining chairs before quickly unclasping the strapless bra you’re wearing, letting it join your dress. “I’ve seen you pose naked in one of your b-list movies before…” He muses, making your cheeks go bright pink knowing Pedro Pascal himself has seen you naked on screen in one of your not so high budget Hollywood films. “...but the view is much more pleasant in person, that’s for damn sure…”

“You’ve...watched some of my previous films?” You ask breathlessly as you give your lip a bite, gazing up at Pedro as he starts to lightly trail his hands along your thighs, a small smirk forming on his face that makes you swallow hard.

“I’ve watched every single one of them, hermosa…” He rasps, gently pushing you to rest on your elbows while pulling you down to the edge of the table again, dropping to his knees so he can place a few open mouthed kisses along your inner thighs. “Surprisingly, that movie you bravely stripped down for is how I found you...but it wasn’t your nudity that caught my interest in you, bebita. It was your pure talent on screen... You’re gonna go far, Y/N Y/L/N. The world will know your name soon enough, especially after the success of your recent film.” He gives each of your thighs a gentle nip before moving his face just inches from your dripping core, eyeing your deliciously inviting folds. “Look at her...how she glistens for me...beckons me in for a taste of her delicacy…”

You’re speechless as he murmurs his words to you, the combination of them and his light caresses/nips to your thighs has you whining and wanting more from him, your hand dropping to fist in his hair. “Papi please... “ You whimper, looking down at him to meet his gaze, his eyes lust blown and almost animalistic. You can tell he’s ready to start devouring your cunt. “Please do what you’ve been dying to do since you sampled my taste in the car.” You bite your bottom lip hard, watching as his face twists into a devious smirk.

“I’ve wanted this long before that, princesa.” He dives right in, his flattened tongue immediately lapping along your spread folds before his lips wrap around your deprived little clit and give a hard suck, earning himself a nice loud moan from you. “Mmmm you’ve got the sweetest tasting pussy, hermosa… Like the finest of thirst quenching waters. I could drink for days.” He brings his tongue right back over to hastily flick it against your clit, to which you buck your hips and moan again. 

“Oh, Pedro!” You clench your fingers tighter in his hair, your hips bucking against his tongue even more as he laps hungrily at your clit. “Please don’t stop,” you gasp, wanting to throw your head back but also really wanting to watch the way this man feasts on your cunt. It’s better than anything you’ve ever seen or felt before.

“Mmmm…” He hums against your folds, smirk still stark on his face as he eats you toward your second orgasm. “You taste so good, bebita…” He groans, suddenly forcing his tongue inside of your drenched cunt and working it around with fervor.

“Oh yes!” You cry out, head now thrown back from the warmth of his tongue buried inside of you and eating you as if you’re the first thing he’s ever tasted, your fingers tugging on his hair as you rock yourself against his mouth. “Just like th--”

He cuts your words off by pulling away from your core, immediately earning a soft whine and your wide, needy gaze again. His eyes are narrowed and dark as he gazes back at you, his fingers on your thighs giving a firm squeeze. “Look at Papi while he enjoys his delicious meal, princesa, watch as Papi makes you cum.”

“Please!” You whine, bucking your hips repeatedly so he’d take the hint and bury his tongue inside of you again. You really need him to make you cum.

“Are you gonna be a buena niña and keep your eyes on Papi?” He nips your thigh, not putting his mouth quite where you want it just yet. He wants to hear you say you’ll be good first.

“Yes! I promise I’ll keep my eyes on you, Papi, just please--” You moan as he swiftly returns his tongue back inside your warm spongy walls, your lips parted as you watch his tongue fuck in and out of you. “Oh yes oh yes oh yes!” Your cries get louder the closer your orgasm starts to creep up on you, your fingers clenched tighter in his hair while you repeatedly rock yourself against his tongue.

Pedro groans at the way you grip and pull his hair, his eyes locked on your face to watch as it contorts in the most beautiful of pleasure, the two of you not quite making eye contact, but still looking the other in the face. It only spurs him on even more seeing you so blissed out and he quickly moves his mouth to start sucking hard on your clit again, replacing his tongue with two of his fingers and pushing them into your fluttering walls with ease. “Cum for me, princesa. Let Papi drink up your sweet release.”

“Ohhh fuck,” you moan louder, biting your lip hard as he starts thrusting his fingers right against your g-spot and coaxing you toward that edge you’ve been desperately waiting for. “Right there! Oh right there!” Your walls clench hard around his fingers as you feel yourself start to cum, the sound of his groan when he tastes your release on his tongue sending waves of arousal straight to your core.

He licks every drop of your release that leaks from your cunt, his fingers curling against your spot to intensify your high before finally pulling them out of you and sucking each one into his mouth to cleanse them of your juices. “Mmmm best pussy I’ve had the pleasure of feasting upon.” He smirks, standing to his feet again and leaning down to kiss you hard, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue.

You moan into the kiss, returning it just as hard and with every bit of your tongue, your legs wrapping tight around his waist while your fingers go right to carding through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Take me upstairs… Please,” you murmur against his lips, sighing in relief when he lifts you up from the table by your ass and carries you upstairs to his bedroom, immediately dropping you onto the bed before reaching to undo his bowtie. “Wait,” you stop him, giving your lip a small bite as you sit up on your knees and look up into his concerned gaze. “Let me…” You reach for his bowtie and get it undone and removed first, setting it aside before your fingers start working at unbuttoning the single button of his jacket. You get that removed next, laying it to the side before you start undoing the buttons of the black vest he wears just over his white button up shirt, quickly pulling it off once it’s unbuttoned and setting it with his jacket and bowtie.

“Hermosa…” He murmurs, watching you as you undress him in the gentlest of ways, his heart pounding so hard against his chest he knows you can hear it.

“Hmmm?” You give him a smile, carefully undoing the delicate black buttons of his button up and slowly revealing the tanned skin of his chest with each one you undo. Your fingers are nimble as they work at getting the shirt open, Pedro helping by unbuttoning the sleeves of his shirt.

“You really care about this suit,” he chuckles, shrugging the shirt off his shoulders and arms after the buttons are all undone and gently laying it on top of the vest and jacket.

“It’s sexy on you. I would hate to get it ruined during the removal of your clothes,” you pout up at him, your hands already working at unbuckling the belt he wears.

“You already drenched these pants in the limo anyway, I’d say it’s fine to ruin it.” He smirks, watching as you yank his pants down and let them pool at his ankles.

“A washer can fix that, but it can’t fix an accidental rip or tear if I’m too eager to get you out of this suit, now can it?” You tease, leaning up to give his bottom lip a gentle nibble. “Plus, I wanna savor the view as I undress you.”

“Dios eres perfecto,” he sighs, immediately kissing you deeply while moving you to lay on your back, his pants kicked to the floor as he settles himself above you and holds your face in his hands. “Are you ready for me?”

“Yes,” you breathe, wrapping your legs firm around his waist and resting your ankles against his lower back. “Pedro you know I’ve been ready.” You whisper, rubbing your hands over his toned pecs and collarbones.

“Just wanted to hear it from your pretty mouth first,” he teases, kissing you once more while lining his fully erect cock at your entrance and slowly pushing himself forward until he’s fully seated inside you. “F-fuck, bebita, you’re--” He groans, pressing his forehead to yours. “--so tight.”

“O-oh Pedro…” you moan, taking in a shaky gasp at the feeling of him stretching and filling you, never having been this filled in your life. “I’m so full.”

“Yeah? Papi fills you real good, doesn’t he?”

“Yes!” You sob, tightening your legs around him and giving your hips several small and desperate rocks against him. “Please.”

“Please what, hermosa?” He murmurs, moving his lips to start trailing kisses along the length of your collarbone, giving his hips a small teasing thrust into you. He already knows what you want, again just wants to hear you say it.

“Please move, please fuck me.” You softly whine your words, moaning out as soon as he starts thrusting back and forth inside of you at a moderately set pace, letting your head fall against the pillows behind you as you dig your nails into his upper arms. “Yes! Oh Pedro!” You cry, quickly dropping your head back down to watch the way his cock disappears in and out of you, both of your gazes set on the same thing.

Pedro only grunts and groans with every rock of his hips, his hungry eyes watching the way your walls deliciously swallow him up as he repeatedly fucks into you. “Fuck… Earlier, when I said--” he groans, burying his face in the crook of your neck now and leaving a gentle kiss and nip before proceeding. “--when I said if I take you home, that I may not let you leave…” He kisses at the shell of your ear next, continuing to thrust into your warm cunt. “...I really fucking mean that now.”

You take in a shaky breath at his words, everything you’ve only ever dreamed about as a young upcoming actress becoming a reality. “Pedro,” you moan softly, fisting your fingers through his hair the deeper he sends his cock inside of you, your body arching into his. “If--” A deeper moan leaves your throat, your head tilting as he starts tenderly kissing at your throat. “If you w-want me, I’m yours.”

“All mine?” He rasps, picking up the force of his thrusts little by little as he kisses along the other side of your neck now. “You and this pussy...all Papi’s?”

“Mmhmm all yours!” You groan loud at the slow increase in his thrusts, your eyes rolling back the harder and faster his movements get. “Oh g-god, I’m gonna cum again, I--” You gasp and whimper as your orgasm starts to burn and build inside of you, your walls giving a tight clench around Pedro’s cock. “I can feel it already.”

“Yeah?” Pedro growls, dropping his hand to start circling your clit with his thumb. “How about you make a mess for Papi again, princesa? Remember what you did to my fingers in the limo? Papi wants you to do it on his cock.” He rasps, kissing at the shell of your other ear as he starts thrusting a little more relentlessly. This man really wants to wreck and claim you all at once.

“Oh Jesus fucking--” your groan is a little more lewd this time, eyes rolling back as you feel that wave of pleasure creeping up on you. “I’m so fucking close, I-- oh god, Papi please don’t stop.”

“Let go for me, princesa.” He murmurs as he rubs harsher circles on your clit, his hips angled so he can hit right up at your cervix with his every thrust, the actions coaxing a silent scream and steady stream of squirt from you. “That’s it, bebita. Fuck, such a buena niña. Mi hermosa niña buena.”

Your body shakes beneath him while your orgasm washes over you, your throat finally opening enough to let out several elongated moans of his name, his grunt, growls and rapid thrusts signifying the near of his own release. “Cum for me, Papi...cum in me.”

“Fuck,” he groans, pressing his lips to yours for a mindnumbing kiss as he repeatedly rails the head of his cock against your cervix, swallowing your screams of pleasuring and burying himself right up inside you while his cock twitches and spills his warm seed into your womb. “Y/N…” He pants, keeping still inside of you as the two of you catch your breath.

“Pedro,” you whisper, gazing up at him when he leans back to look down at you and gently caress your sides.

“I don’t...I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” He mumbles. “I’ve...honestly? I’ve been planning on seeing if you’d allow me to take you out for dinner some time, but...I guess fate had other plans.” He chuckles at that and only gives his head a small amused shake, your eyes wide and obviously surprised.

“Really?” You chew your lip, looking up at him with piqued curiosity. “Why would you wanna ask me out?”

“Really?” He repeats you. “Why would I wanna ask such a beautiful, talented and dedicated woman such as yourself out for a nice dinner? Perhaps I wanted to get to know you better, learn more about you and what you enjoy, what you don’t enjoy.”

“Well you already know at least one of those things,” you laugh softly, giving your head a shake with a small smile. “Thank you.”

“For?” He smiles.

“Taking me home.”

“My pleasure.” He leans in for another kiss while he slowly starts to pull his length from inside of you, the two of you groaning in unison at the loss of warmth and fullness.

Once he’s slipped completely beside you and moved to the side, you give your bottom lip a small bite. “May I bother you for a glass of water? My throat’s a little hoarse…” You blush.

“I wonder why.” He teases you with a small smirk before nodding and gently kissing your forehead. “But of course you can. You wait right here, hermosa.”

“Thank you,” you grin, watching as he climbs off the bed and grabs a clean pair of sweats to throw on before leaving the room to grab you some water.

You lay there staring up at the ceiling with wide, very awake eyes, the most content of smiles on your face as you think about the events that just occurred. Are you dreaming? Did Pedro Pascal really just take you home and give you the most mind blowing night of your life so far? Nah definitely not dreaming, this feels far too real to be a dream.

You can hear Pedro’s voice faintly talking aloud downstairs, thinking maybe he’s talking to himself, but after a few moments you start to hear the soft patter of paws on the stairs leading up to the second floor. Edgar. You hear him enter the room and grin wide when he jumps up onto the bed.

“Hi Edgar! I was wondering where you were,” you giggle as you move to sit up on the bed, taking one of the fleece blankets folded on one side of the bed and wrapping it around yourself so you can pet Pedro’s cute little dog, having seen him in many of Pedro’s Instagram posts. “You are a cute little guy aren’t ya? Aww yes you are.” You give him light scratches at the spot between his ears and earn yourself a smile as he hangs his tongue out, clearly enjoying the love and attention. “You’re definitely the cutest thing in this house. Daddy’s second, but he doesn’t need to know that.” You grin.

Pedro silently stands in the doorway of his room holding the glass of water for you with a large smile, taking in the sight of you loving on his little guy, the dog who means the absolute world to him. He watches you for a few moments, just listening to you talk to Edgar and giggle when he gives you several kisses. It makes his heart swell with a love he’s never felt before. “You’re wrong, you know,” he finally states, earning your gaze and a curious smile. “I love my little Edgar here, but he’s definitely not the cutest thing in the house. Not anymore, at least.”

“Oh?” You bite your lip, watching Pedro as he approaches the bed and holds the water out for you, which you take and immediately take a few long sips.

“Mmhm. That would be you now.”

You blush at his words, giving your head a few shakes as you finish swallowing the water. “No offense, handsome, but Edgar is much cuter than me and nothing you say will ever change that.”

“Agree to disagree?”

“Alright fine,” you smile, giving Edgar lots more pats while Pedro moves to climb back onto the bed, just watching you love on his dog. “But he’s still cuter than you.”

“And that’s fine with me, hermosa, that’s fine with me.” He chuckles.

Everything taglist: @halefirewarrior​ @takemepedropascal​ @wildcard566​ @readsalot73​ @talesfromtheguild​ @msmona​ @oberynispunk​ @whiskeyxinxaxteacup​ @pedrosdoll​ @ah-callie​

Pedro taglist: @manuphantom​ @unadulterated-neckherolover @luna-longbott0m @hanelijoy​ @bxbyriku​ @lireandcampfire

[sumeshi-t]

random 1AM horny thots: the boi's reaction when seeing fem!s/o get a food baby after eating too much lol

characters: oikawa and ushijima (for now; might add a few more later on 😙✌🏻)

aksjdjajh pls enjoy my midnight brain vomit. i know this ain't too good and idk if it's been done before or not but oh well, here it goes 🥵

im shy but ackck im gon tag u @seijoh 🥺 i hope u feel better and sleep well tonite

Oikawa Tooru:

you surprised your bf by going to argentina so you could celebrate his birthday together

you asked help from some of his teammates he's told you about, and they were in on the surprise.

the moment you entered the gym where they trained, he hits a powerful serve, fueled by his excitement after just seeing a glimpse of you from the corner of his eyes. he got a service ace from that, even you were sure it was over 110km/h

then this boy just runs up to you, trapping you in his embrace, your feet off the ground and spinning you around

then comes the cake his teammates got him, someone on the side was actually recording all this. he was already peppering your face with kisses and you two just looked so damn happy even the coach was smiling wtf

so anyway, you guys go out that night and eat

oikawa tells you what food he likes, and what he thinks you were gonna like and he's so spot on like he knows you so well he even brings out the 100% out of your tastebuds—

lol

you were so full from all the food, so full from the love, attention, and affection your boyfriend was showering you that you felt "drunk"

trust me that shit happens. y'know, like food coma? yeah, you ate a lot and it feels like you actually got high on sum dr*gzz

it was time to call it a night, you gave the team some japanese souvenirs as a way of thanking them, not just about tooru's bday, but also because they're taking care of your man really well 🥺

oikawa brings you back to his apartment, apologizes for not having cleaned up and you say you didn't mind because really, it wasn't that dirty or like the jungle-type madness but even then, he goes straight up to at least making the place neat for the two of you so he cleans some of his mess

there was a full body mirror on the far wall, it reflects his bed and him moving about behind you. you were checking yourself out and you ended up chuckling

you put a hand on your low back and another to rub your belly. you were wearing such a body-hugging outfit so the food baby was hella obvious

"look tooru, i'm pregante," you laugh at your own joke and continue to rub your belly

oikawa lichrally stops. and just stares. at your smiling face then down to where your hands were placed.

this boy gulps. why was he feeling so thirsty all of a sudden-?

when you didn't hear him respond, you turn to look at him and he was already making his way toward you.

he wraps his arms around you, hands on your belly. there was no music but you two were swaying to the sound of each other's heartbeats.

without a word, his lips went straight for your neck, nipping and sucking; his hot breath tickling your sensitive skin, hands busy touching you everywhere.

you see him smirk while whispering, "seeing you like that babe, it just makes me want to knock you up so bad,"

next thing you know you were both naked on the bed, facing the mirror

you were on your knees, watching yourselves as your boyfriend took you from behind, your back arched against his chest while his hand gripped on your neck and the other firm against your hickey-filled abdomen; cum was already leaking out of your abused hole you actually lost count how many times the two of you came—

this was a fulfilling kind of feeling full.

and sure enough, you were bringing home with you a different kind of surprise when you went back to japan.

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

it was The Grandma Ushijima's 80th birthday

yeah that lady who wanted to correct your boyfriend's left handedness. she's still alive n kicking

yours and ushijima's schedules were freed up for a few days to help out in the celebration and of course, you stay in the Ushijima ancestral home

yes, ancestral home. tatami mats and all. but high quality ones with silk covers and stuff.

his family didn't mind having you two sleep in the same room; bc ngl they've been wanting a great grandchild.

the sooner the better

like fuck marriage, they want to see results first.

in the three days you spent there, you notice how yours and wakatoshi's tea is different, like is that some kinda ginseng floating around there-? type of different

or how they dug up all of his cute baby pics aww, look at his cute bare bottom

i also hc wakatoshi used to thumbsucc the left thumb it b cute and adorable, you were gushing until whoever was talking to you say that they can't wait to see him have a son or a daughter

anyway, the party soon came along

wakatoshi loved it when he saw you playing with the cousins' children, and how much you just fit in with the family

if he could, he'd have gotten on his knee there to propose, though he didn't have a ring... also, he didn't want to steal the spotlight from his grandma

sometimes he wonders if you were actually a long lost relative

bc also goddamn, your cooking is *chef's kiss* top notch, michelin chef, gordon ramsay approved

and what better way to reward yourself for a job well done is to self-appreciate the craft you yourself created

needless to say, your big appetite got yourself a big food baby after dinner

thus it was now bedtime, children were now asleep, other relatives already back in their own homes

this was the last night you two were staying over

you were lying on your side, face to face with wakatoshi; you were the one mostly doing the talking, jumping from family matters to his volleyball career

then your hand idly rested on your belly, rubbing it, and then you laugh, recalling the encounter you had with some of the Ushijima elders and aunts

"toshi, they really want me to get pregnant so bad. do you think they'll stop pestering me if i show myself like this?" you pat your food baby belly and snicker

his eyes wander towards your belly and he just froze in his spot

the sight of and the prospect of you carrying his child in that body of yours just flipped a switch inside of him. he reaches for your face, eyes now locked with yours. you melt under his big, warm hand, unaware of the brewing storm of emotions your boyfriend was having

"y/n"

"hmm?"

"i think the aunts are right,"

"what...?"

"i... want you to have my child, but... do you?"

which basically translates into "i want to fuck your brains out, may i?"

consent is sexy mhhm

he's so gentle, so careful with his movements, he treats your body like a sacred temple, his every kiss a wordless declaration of worship;

this baby bear was honestly just afraid of breaking you because he knows after that night, wakatoshi jr. will be next who's going to stir up your insides to make space for its growth

you really had to beg him, "more, harder!"

you really had to taunt him, "how are you gonna make me pregnant if you don't go deeper–oh,"

wakatoshi let go of the last string of self-control he had, that your face was pushed against the tatami mat, ass in the air, your hips slapping against each other

you oh-so-tried not to make much noise, but you knew how much wakatoshi loved that

you were sure that anyone who happened to pass by that room was gonna be so embarrassed yet so elated at the huge possibility of having another member to The Ushijima clan

[jackalopingintothevoid]

I have seen 1 and a half episodes (collectively) of BBC Sherlock once years ago and I have not at all revisited them before doing this but I still know that this Sherlock is the least valid of all Sherlocks and it’s 1am so here we are.

First episode, he shows off to Watson by “deducing” a whole load of shit about Harry Watson based off the phone he’s handed. The whole spiel completely relies on the audience going “he’s Sherlock Holmes, obviously he knows what he’s on about” and just accepting it but it’s bs quite frankly.

Like, okay, the casing engraved with ‘for Harry’ does likely make it a gift. That’s a fair deduction. But right out the gate, that’s not necessarily a gift from a romantic partner. That’s a huge assumption. It could have been from a family member, a close friend, even a particularly generous coworker. But Sherlock lays it down as law and charges on.

The he “deduces” that Harry broke up with said apparent romantic partner. I can’t remember why he decides there was a break up anywhere, but that’s not the point I’m tyring to make. The POINT is that he claims Harry did the breaking up because if Harry was the dumpee then the phone would have been kept for sentimental value which. Is another honestly olympic-level leap of logic. Like. Maybe the memories attached to the phone were too painful to keep but Harry didn’t want to waste something expensive and/or useful; maybe it was spite over being cheated/dumped/literally just about anything and Harry shoved it at John and said ‘I don’t want it but she’s still paying for the phone contract so feel free use all the data’; maybe it was mutual and/or such a long time ago that Harry has no attachment or feelings about the phone at all and it was a simple matter of ‘you need a phone and i’m getting an upgrade’. EVEN WITHIN THE ASSUMPTION that the gift was romantic, this does not hold water.

The one that struck me as Wrong straight away when I frirst watched it was the bit about the scuff marks around the charging port which OBVIOUSLY could ONLY have been made by an ALCOHOLIC. You were already veering sharply away from ‘Sherlock Holmes, World’s Greatest Detective’ at Mach 4 but now we’ve shot straight to ‘for god’s sake David can we just have One Christmas’. There are hundreds, in all likelihood THOUSANDS, of illnesses, disabilities, developmental and traumatic issues that can impact your fine motor control. Congenital or acquired, neurological or otherwise. Cerebral palsy, a concussion with consequences, dementia, nerve damage, anxiety, a broken arm. Hell I had scuff marks on my phone around the charging port literally just because I’m not always paying full attention to plugging the damn thing in because it’s not a task that requires all my goddamn brainpower!! Maybe Harry didn’t bother to turn any lights on after coming home and stumbled through going to bed in the dark it could be fucking anything.

All of this only turns out to be correct because the narrative wants him to be correct. The one thing he gets wrong is that ‘Harry’ is short for ‘Harriet’. A misconception that would have been immediately cleared up if literally any other person was talking to Watson about it. “Harry? I thought your name was John?” or “Friend of yours?” or even “Do you have a brother?” would have been answered with a straightforward “Harry’s my sister” and that would have been that squared away. But Sherlock just blunders on through like his words are gospel because he’s that up himself.

It’s a plot point!! That he’s that up himself!! It’s made clear in other episodes that he does not actually understand people in a fundamental way which makes me sit back and go ‘then why the hell are you trying to write him as Sherlock Holmes, how can he possibly even skirt close to the true actions and motives of people committing crimes if he’s this disconnected’ and this (this WHOLE POST) is coming from an autistic individual so that is SAYING SOMETHING.

But there’s a whole Bit where Moriarty takes on a persona and dates Molly just to get a message to Sherlock and while doing so he plays him. Just plays Sherlock like a fucking fiddle. Because he KNOWS that Sherlock’s that up himself, will take note of all the feminine beauty products he’s using and Deduce With His Superior Brain that the dude’s gay. And like???? yes Maybe probably that was the people making the show having Biases About Stereotypes but it’s also potentially Moriarty going ‘well I can guarantee that I can pull the wool over his eyes until I want him to know the truth because he just makes shit up and decides it’s facts’

tldr; BBC Sherlock isn’t actually Sherlock Holmes bc he never deduces anything he just mansplains

[lunawings]

King of Prism SSS Episode 2 commentary (Yukinojo)

Watched this episode live with you guys at 1am, stream froze right at the ending. That was the tipping point I needed to stay up to watch it again as soon as it was released on Crunchyroll at 3am, with the few folks who stayed in the chat. And of course after all that extended King of Prism woke me up, now look who can’t sleep and is watching it a 3rd time tonight at... 5am... aha ha... ha...... don’t look at me like that I don’t have work until 4pm it’s fine

So like most folks in Japan I experienced this episode as part of a three pack bundled with the prologue and Taiga’s episode, which makes up the theatrical SSS Part 1. 

While the theater experience is great, it’s also kinda bizarre since the tone in this episode is drastically different from the other two. After the dinner scene ends there is no basically cheering until the end of this episode. What can we say! I just kinda fall into a prism coma until the Prism One show when I am suddenly like wha... WHAAA OH YEAH knocking my concert lights on the floor trying to quickly grab them in time and all that. 

But not because this episode is bad or anything. Quite the opposite. It’s just....

Mesmerizing.... 

Anyway.

ITS ABOUT FRIKKIN TIME 

Renjishi is a pretty famous Kabuki show, and I think “Two Lions” is an accepted English translation so I don’t know why they didn’t bother to translate it? 

 This translator couldn’t figure out what to do with the “18″ either... I would definitely be confused why there is so much 18 this and that in this episode if I hadn’t looked it up for my own translations. It’s a reference to a certain collection of best kabuki plays.

And if you’re wondering why Yukinojo is the 7th generation while his father is the 3rd.... well... hell if I know, because that actually not a mistranslation. 

*throws hands in the air* If someone can explain it to me let me know.

In the theaters sometimes people will hold up two red lights and break them apart here and I always want to do it but I ALWAYS FORGET AHHH. My brain just isn’t in cheering mode during this episode. 

Also it took me like eight viewings before I noticed there is a continuity error where Shin’s chopsticks fix themselves ahah.

FACE

(Also someone in the livestream pointed out his earrings. Not sure if we have seen Yu with earrings yet.)

One of the many things that makes SSS so amazing is how much it changes the first two movies. Just when you thought you were done with them, all of a sudden you want to watch them all over again to see them in a new light. While the movies largely follow Shin’s perspective, for the first time we finally get to see things through the perspectives of other characters and it just adds layer upon layer upon layer and it’s just.... ahh..... 

THE PRISM

THE ONE SPECIFIC PRISM

The way the translator phrased this I imagine them all worshiping a giant stone in the back somewhere. ALL HAIL.... THE BRILLIANT PRISM....... 

This line is super weird out of context. When I translate King of Prism stuff I put in “prism jump” just to add context when it’s not there. But that’s.... just.... m...eee..............

This is my favorite damn Kakeru line in SSS and he doesn’t even say anything. 

Eeeeyaah... ....

Taiga is amazing in this scene too. BE TRUE TO YOUR EMOTIONS YOU’RE  RUINING DINNER DAMMIT 

I thought when I paused on this scene I’d be able to read some of these posters but not really. Wonder if these are a reference to Yukinojo getting into Japanese rock like he did during the curry event on Prism Rush? Maybe they just wanted to show he has typical teenage boy stuff in his room too. Also, of course, cameo from Andy! 

A translation I actually liked. This is basically exactly what he says ahha... the old men group of Edel Rose (2nd year high schoolers).

For anyone who read my shitty out of context spoilers during the first weekend and thought I was kidding when I said Kakeru almost got murdered by Yukinojo but he kinda deserved it.

I’m still reeling from how fucking real Kakeru gets here...... damn........

Someone in the livestream pointed this out, but we almost never hear Kakeru call Yukinojo “Tachibana” do we?

I jumped an inch in my seat when I saw this at the midnight showing. It was the moment where I was like holy moly we’re not in Kansas anymore and started to realize exactly what we were getting into in SSS. This is a whole new King of Prism. 

When you watch the episodes all strung together in the theater, the first episode runs at the same pace as the movies (in my mind I kinda of think of it as a shorter 3rd movie in itself), so it’s not until you get about here where things first start to slow and deepen and it’s you realize wow.... this really is an anime now..... 

I thought Nikkanen mentioned this superhero on Prism Rush, but he said Yossha-Man haha. Well they are both parodying the same series. (Yattaman/Yattawan?)

I really like Yukinojo’s grandpa. He just has the best old man voice. 

WHOOOOOOSH

This scene is foreshadowed in the first episode of SSS. While Shin is introducing everyone you see Yukinojo’s mother look down at her wrist. 

So it was kind of weird to be like is that gonna be a thing--OH THATS A THING right after haha. The theater experience is great, but these episodes are probably better paced week-to-week like this instead of in odd chunks the way they show them in theaters. 

I think this was foreshadowed in Pride the Hero too isn’t it? (His hairpin shines when he looks at his Mom?)

Perhaps something more shocking happened in the next scene though.

At least to me anyway. 

So ages ago, maybe first movie era, I was reading a profile of Yu in a magazine. Specifically this one:

It mentioned that Yu wears Bell Rose pajamas. 

And I always remembered that. Because hey that’s pretty hilarious. 

YEARS PASS

King of Prism SSS episode 2.

Yukinojo just had a breakdown 

AND THERE’S YU

IN HIS GODDAMN BELL ROSE PAJAMAS

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Seriously my mouth fucking dropped open when I saw this. If only I was at cheering I really would have shrieked and ruined this serious scene ahah.

AND THEN THERES THIS 

This scene just gives me goosebumps everywhere. Yukinojo’s first prism jump. The way Shin screams. AHHHHHHHH--

This scene actually gives me goosebumps too. It’s such a mood. This whole episode is such a mood. 

Kakeru and Yukinojo really have a lot in common. I understand now why they made such good duo partners on Prism Rush. Not only do they both have a lot of weight on their shoulders from their families, but the both inherited it from their mother’s side. Just like Yukinojo’s father married into kabuki, as we learned in Young of Prism it was Kakeru’s father who married into the Juuouin group. Don’t mind my random fact, I just thought it was super interesting.

So. This line kind of confused me a bit. Because I thought a major theme in this episode was about how Yukinojo couldn’t escape his blood. Yukinojo’s mother made that clear.

But then again Yukinojo’s mother also knew his father had this experience where he learned his fate wasn’t controlled by blood at all. 

Maybe that just served for a reason as to why she can see Yukinojo’s soul is in prism shows? I don’t know. 

I’m also really confused by how differently she treats Yukinojo in this scene compared with the flashback. I’m glad she came around, but I feel like we missed something in between. 

I don’t need to say how awesome Yukinojo’s prism show was. It just keeps building more and more tension as it goes on and just ahhhh....

I was really sad the stream froze before you guys found out Yukinojo beat Shin’s score (in sparking). 

Also I feel super dumb because I said something about Yukinojo being only the second male star to do four jumps in a row. I FORGOT ABOUT HIRO

So Louis -> Hiro -> Yukinojo, the first three male stars to successfully do four consecutive jumps. The top male stars by pure skill. 

So this ending.... is NOT the ending we see in the theater. The song and visuals were all new. (Well except for assets reused from the episode well you know what I mean.)

I’m a bit town about this. On the one hand I was REALLY REALLY REALLY looking forward to hearing 366 Love Diary.... But on the other hand it’s cool that they are doing something so special for the TV showing by having different endings every week. And after all, the CD for 366 Love Diary is coming out literally tomorrow.... but....

Okay so clearly I loved this episode but part of me is just really glad it’s over because next week is TAAAIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and I cannot fucking wait to share it with you guys. 

(My favorite episode of the show.)

(I don’t even know if I can fit all my thoughts on it in a post how long is the limit on Tumblr srsly)

[eeveelutionsforequality]

@mod vape, do you have any tips for dealing with hypersexuality or addiction? bc uh. getting off hurts. idk if it’s specifically because ive been doing it so goddamn much or because of the fucking legion of medical problems i have, but it’s DEFINITELY making my abdominal pain worse and i dont know how to stop gjdfjhk.

Well, firstly, go to the doctor about that pain - there are injuries, illnesses, sexual dysfunctions, and all sorts of things from that could be causing a pain like that (it could be a pulled muscle, a cyst, maybe you aggravated a pre-existing health issue, etc), and it's best to rule out anything too dangerous as soon as you can, and to treat anything treatable. Even if it is tied to or caused by overdoing sex/masturbation, just mitigating that habit isn't guaranteed to fix it.

I was getting some pretty bad pain from even small dildos/vibrators, and I decided to go to the doctor in case it was something dangerous - thankfully, it turned out to just be a sexual dysfunction (basically spasms and tightening of the muscles in the vagina, in my case caused by trauma). I was supposed to get therapy for it, but I never went because I was having another therapy at the time and my carer was like "But what if they cancel each other out!?" and I was like "That's not how it works..." Sometimes it acts up but I think I've got it mostly under control. I've also had to go to the doctor for sprained/strained wrists more times than I would like to admit... I used to be like "Oh I played my guitar for too long" or "Oh I think I leant on my walking stick for too long" and now I'm just like "Wanker's cramp".

Trust me and my plethora of injuries when I say that doctors are professionals, they went to medical school, they see genitalia on a daily basis, they've seen eyes and ears and giant sores full of puss... it's really rare to get a doctor that will look down upon or judge you for that. Sure you'll get the odd "You should masturbate less", "Here's a big speech about the risks of STDs and pregnancy", "Have you told your therapist about this", but it's more of an "I'm contractually obliged to impart medical advice" than an "I think you're gross" 99% of the time.

Secondly, I do have tips, but I'm still hella bad at dealing with my own issues - I still smoke more than I want to, drink til I puke, sleep with strangers, lose days to laying in bed alone, have an aching pain in my wrists, etc. Obviously I don't have all of the answers, so I can't promise that they'll be the best tips in the world - it's worth doing some more research of your own, and it might be worth talking to your doctor/therapist if you can't manage it on your own.

You haven't given much detail about how specifically it affects you or what the addiction is to (sexual stuff in general, masturbation, casual sex, porn, etc), so I'm going to try to cover as much as I can (like dealing with sexual thoughts about people in your life, limiting the number of times you masturbate, etc) and I hope that at least some of what I say is useful to you.

Okay, so the first tip I have is: try not to slip into the mentality that cold turkey is the only way to go if it's not what you want - thinking "I can't have this. I'm not allowed this." can increase cravings. Thinking "I'm allowed this later... if I stay motivated not to do it now and if I only do it in moderation, and it's gonna be great." can make waiting out those cravings a lot easier, provided you have the self-control to not slip back into a bad habit after once.

Ways to avoid slipping back into bad habits include: having time (or number of the thing) limits for when and how long you are allowed, having something to do afterwards that takes your mind off it (for example "once I've done it once, I have to get up, take out the rubbish, email my boss, read that global warming article, and get ready for bed"), other rewards/punishments (put a book you really want in your Amazon basket then click "save for later", if at the end of the fortnight you've accomplished your goal then buy the book, if you fail the fortnight resets and you have to wait two more weeks - set smaller goals with smaller rewards, and larger goals with larger rewards), keeping and going over a diary so that you can see what worked and what didn't, if there's a pattern to failures, progress even if you're not meeting goals (at which point try to make the upcoming goals a little easier since you're expecting too much of yourself), and so on.

Secondly, and it's the most generic tip ever but it's SUPER important for addictions because they can damage your pre-frontal cortex... healthy diet, exercise, meditation, mental exercises, getting some sun, and other daily tasks are super important.

You need to get into the habit of something like reading or pottery or drawing for at least half an hour to an hour every day - turn off your internet, games, distractions, and maintain concentration on what you're doing. This helps repair the effects that addictions can have on your pre-frontal cortex and dopamine receptors by activating the parts of your brain that work towards maintained motivation and focus for smaller or distant rewards, which in turn will help your brain work normally again, which in turn will increase motivation and willpower.

Cooking more difficult meals will have similar benefits and a healthy diet improves your overall health. Exercise does the same even more effectively than either, and it has the added bonus of energizing you, increasing your focus on other tasks that you do afterwards, various health benefits, lifting your mood, and helping you be tired by the end of the day so that you'll be able to sleep easier - insomnia is a really dangerous trigger for any addiction, but especially a masturbation or sex addiction, because you're in an environment that is associated with that behaviour and the behaviour makes it easier to sleep afterwards, so you've every reason to start doing it if you find yourself unable to sleep.

Which brings me on to another reason why keeping a diary is especially important - you need to isolate your triggers. Establish what happened immediately before the behaviour, what you were thinking, and what potentially led to the behaviour. Then you can work towards either avoiding those triggers, lessening them, being mindful of them, or training yourself to exhibit a different behaviour in response to them - for example, if having a shower triggers you to masturbate, try singing in the shower instead, training your brain to react to showers with the urge to sing instead of the urge to masturbate.

You might also want to try sleeping meds, so that you can take them, read until they start to kick in, and then immediately go to bed and try to sleep - that way there's less of a gap between going to bed and falling asleep where something could happen.

Routine can also be really helpful for some people - you're supposed to fall asleep between about 10pm and 1am for optimal sleep, and you're supposed to wake up between 6 and 8 hours later. Get out of bed as soon as you wake up to avoid lethargy, and either exercise or go for a short walk, or do something that starts your brain and body working for the day. After that, prepare breakfast, don't watch TV or distract yourself while you eat. Continue the day with a routine that works for you, and you could set a time at which you will masturbate (or maybe a date you're allowed to go to the club and pull... how you work in routine if you have a long-term sexual partner is something you would need to talk to them about) that doesn't interfere with your routine.

Avoid bars, pubs, clubs, tinder, grindr, and anything else that can be a trigger for that or makes quick hook-ups easy - I know that I can go to the pub near me (because there'll be nobody there for that, it's an "old people come here to watch football" pub), and that I can go to a pub or bar with friends if I'm having a good day, but making sure that my flat wasn't within walking distance of a club and deleting dating apps was really helpful to me (it meant that even if the temptation was there the effort required to act on it was too much and took too long, so I'd catch myself).

I also log off any tumblr that I'm following people on that post NSFW, porn, sexual stuff or anime stuff if necessary - just like how I log off any tumblrs where I follow political blogs if I'm getting overwhelmed by that. But it is still good to have a tumblr for NSFW stuff, to have somewhere that you can express certain things, reblog things, feel less alone, enjoy things that you enjoy - don't demonize the side of you that likes sex, don't lock it in a cell in the back of your head, just tell it that it can't control you.

I'm also working on not putting myself in as many situations that can make me feel like I'm being too flirty or as many situations that cause too many uncomfortable or sexual thoughts at a time when they're stressing me - like, I don't come online as much when I'm drunk now, I don't have as many sleepovers, and I don't tend to maintain physical contact for as long (like, I don't hold hands as often as I used to), for example.

That said, you can't live out your life hiding from people who your brain might think something sexual about - isolating yourself is unhealthy. Humans are social creatures and social interaction is good for us, talking to people about our problems is good for us, distractions and fun are good for us. I find structured social plans make things easier - so, I like plans like "lets cook together then eat the awesome meal", "lets go see a movie", "lets go to the town center and taste hot chocolate from as many cafés as we can before I puke", "lets go to the fair" and things like that (that said, agoraphobia is awful and ruins like 90% of my social interaction). Keep people in your life who you're comfortable with and who make you happy.

Remember that what you're thinking or mental images that pop into your head aren't evil, it doesn't mean that you have a crush on them, that you actually want to do sexual things with them, that you can't be their friend, or anything like that... they're just thoughts. You didn't choose them. Just let them pass.

Your surroundings and triggers are incredibly important things to stay on top of though, be that to mitigate stress in social situations, or to prevent you from engaging in more sex/masturbation than you want to or than is safe for you to.

Don't spend your day in the same place that you masturbate - even if you don't live alone you can avoid being in bed when you're in your room, you could get a sofa, beanbag, comfy chair, gigantic cushion, or other comfortable place to sit in your bedroom so that you don't have to be in your bed, and put that in a part of your room with different posters/decoration to those around your bed.

Lots of things can become associated with certain behaviours in your brain, from sitting in a certain place to feeling a certain emotion. Try to avoid being too exposed to those things at times when you don't intend to be doing something sexual, and replace them with other things that make you happy, keep you distracted, and aid in training concentration and willpower (maths games, board games, card games, puzzles, reading, cooking, exercise, drawing, writing, etc).

Even things like separating any porn or sexual pictures in your phone into a hidden folder instead of having it pop up when you go to look for pictures, or keeping magazines or the pornhub bookmark out of sight, can really help with lessening the regularity with which things pop into your head.

Finally, and I've hinted at it throughout this, mindfulness and meditation are things that many addicts find incredibly helpful. It's really worth doing some googling, watching some YouTube videos, and learning those techniques (and it's good to be doing research in general into ways to help addictions or hypersexuality disorders, because there are quite a few schools of thought and there are probably a lot of things that I've missed).

Meditation, like reading and exercise, helps train your mind into maintaining focus, not reacting to distractions and urges, relaxing, letting thoughts pass by, and being less hectic and loud - it also has health benefits, can help you sleep, can help you take time from your busy schedule to yourself (an urge that may have been previously feeding the addictions instead, as they can be linked to a need for control), and can help you work through thoughts or anxieties.

Mindfulness helps in various ways too - for example, smokers found that being mindful (observing, essentially) helped them quit because it led to them paying more attention to how bad the cigarette tasted, and it also allowed them to non-judgmentally observe the cravings that they felt, observe why they were feeling those cravings, and allow them to pass by. It's about letting your thoughts exist, letting things exist, acknowledging them, but not letting them control you.

You can study mindfulness for yourself - research it online, read one of the many books about it, watch YouTube videos, etc - or you can go to the doctor and ask for a therapy that teaches mindfulness (I found learning about it in my own time more helpful, and have had more success with that, but I think that was mostly related to not having a great therapist - plus, online gives me more opportunities to look into the how and why, to see how other people do it, to look deeper into it, to take as long as I need, while therapy was just an elderly lady snapping at me for using my phone and telling me to imagine that my thoughts are clouds and distracting me constantly).

So yeah...

Step 1: Go to the doctors for that pain, it's probably something minor but it's better safe than sorry.

Step 2: Do more research, Mod Vape doesn't know everything.

Step 3: Keep a diary and try to isolate what things are triggering you, what you're feeling beforehand, and be mindful of what you're thinking, what you're feeling, and what you're gaining/losing from the experience.

Step 4: Try to keep yourself away from things that trigger you, but also remember that you don't have to entirely abstain from valuable things - you can train new reactions as responses to those things, you can work on self-control, and so on.

Step 5: Work on your routine, diet, exercise, habits, and hobbies, so that you can improve your willpower, motivation, and health.

Step 6: Research and practice meditation and mindfulness.

Step 7: Set and work towards small goals, rewarding yourself for successes and keeping track of your progress.

Step 8: If you can't control the addiction or behaviour, if the thoughts are becoming difficult to live with, if these problems continue to cause you distress, there is no shame in seeking professional help. You don't have to do this alone.

Remember that chemical imbalances and other neurological issues can cause such things - if you can't manage it alone, that could be a warning sign that something serious or physiological is going on. Not being able to quit doesn't necessarily mean that somebody's "not trying hard enough", and instead of beating yourself up talk to somebody who can do blood tests, scans, or whatever else is necessary to make sure that you're okay and that you overcome your struggles.

~ Vape