#i have never really written recipes so i'm doing my best LOL

[dandyghest]

aaand recipe 2 in my "poor and fatigued" recipe series is going to be: Gyeran Bap with Sigeumchi Namul (a Korean dish! sesame oil on egg + rice with a spinach side)

I used these two recipes as a guide/base to jump off of, and you can too if u don't care to read mine (fair enough!) LOL: egg rice and spinach

I make everything single-serving so adjust my directions as needed! My servings also tend to be a bit smaller than average because my stomach is still recovering from my ED O7 [salute emoji]

time needed: these recipes say that they both only take ten mins each but it takes me usually 20-30 mins total but I move slow and am often quite scattered LOL so times may vary I suppose. prep work will take some time as you'll need cooked rice for this, as well as toasted sesame seeds and toasted sesame oil. you can toast the seeds and oil while you're cooking this, though, but just be aware it'll add to the time it takes so it may be good to make a bunch at once and then use it over a few days of having this dish as a meal each day :]

ingredients: cooked rice (fresh is best but microwaved leftover is totally fine too!), sesame oil and sesame seeds (best if toasted beforehand but you can do that during cooking as well), salt, soy sauce, egg, butter (unsalted or salted), white sugar (technically optional), garlic (fresh is best but storebought minced jar is probably okay), spinach (i also use spring mix salad greens and it works just fine!) optional: green onion, anything else you think would go well :]

other supplies: pot, pan, hotplate or stove, colander or strainer, knife and cutting board, spatula.

directions:

First and foremost, cook your rice and have that ready to go before you start anything else.

I like to do the spinach/greens first, so let's do that here. First, make the sauce so that it's ready before the greens. Mince your garlic (1/2 to 1tsp or so), transfer to a plate or bowl. Mix together sesame oil and soy sauce in the bowl with the garlic and with a small bit of sugar (sugar is optional but it balances out all the salt flavours well!). If you want amounts, check the recipes above, but generally I do about 2tsp of soy sauce and 1tsp of sesame oil (which is opposite to the recipe but whatever), and then like 1/4 or 1/8 tsp of sugar.

Wash your greens if needed. Chop 2-3 handfuls of them into roughly 2-inch sized pieces just so they aren't huge lol. Bring a pot of water to a boil with a bit of salt in it - we're going to be blanching the greens. Have either ice water ready in a bowl or your tap water ready to run cold.

Once the water is boiling, add your greens to the pot and boil for no longer than 20-30 seconds.

Quickly drain the pot into your colander/strainer and cool your greens immediately with either the ice water or the cold tap water until they're cold. We want to do this quickly so that it stops the cooking process before your greens start falling apart and turning to mush.

(Make sure your hands are clean for this!) Squeeze the greens in a ball with your hands to remove as much water as possible. You're going to smush them and it might feel weird but don't worry about it LOL. Transfer them to a plate or bowl and mix with the sauce (you can use your hands for mixing if you'd like but I usually just pull the ball of greens apart with my hands and then stir it all around with a fork). Set your sauced greens aside.

Onto the rice dish! Mix your rice (fresh or microwaved, just make sure it's hot!) in your eating bowl with a bit of butter (amount is up to your personal taste) until the butter is melted and mixed well with the rice.

Toast your sesame seeds (stir constantly in pan on low-medium heat for 3-5 minutes until browned and fragrant) and add to your rice. Toast your sesame oil (stir constantly in pan on low-medium heat for 3-5 minutes until fragrant and maybe a bit darker in colour) (I use ... a sploop of it. so maybe a teaspoon or two) and add to your rice. Mix well.

Cook your egg in the pan in whatever way you'd like. I have a weird food sensitivity to egg if it's not cooked enough so I personally crack the egg into the hot pan, wait a few seconds, and then break the yolk a little bit with my spatula and stir it all around into medium sized chunks on the pan. But I think usually people eat this with sunny side up egg with a runny yolk, so do whatever your heart desires.

Add egg to eating bowl, along with the sauced greens. Add a little more soy sauce if you want, and you're done! Congrats!

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

Pineyyyyy,

I'm asking for the masses: please bless us with your writing process! How do you perfect these wonderful fics?

Thank you so much for asking Zae! 💞

As my writing process is a little chaotic and not very disciplined, I'll try to gather some advice and a rough timeline of what I do and how!

I think you'll already know most of those tips Zae, considering how incredible your writing already is! I hope this will still be helpful! Also forgive me because this is going to be long and detailed (I'm hopeless).

To everyone reading this, please keep in mind that I do not claim to have a perfect recipe for writing things that will make everything absolutely incredible (first of all, I do not think my work is perfect—far from it—and it's important for you that your writing process stays fun and comfortable!). This list is about things that work for me, but you have to find what works for you!!

NON-WRITING STUFF

Before writing: I love to set myself in the mood. As I don't have much free time my dedicated writing time has become a sort of sacred moment and I have my rituals (I put up the holy combo music+a good teapot of tea+Frankincense)

Music is a HUGE part of my writing process. As you and the amazing @/redwritr have already told me (thanks again both of you this is the best compliment ever<3), my writing sounds like music and I think this is also why. (Typical example for Fantasies II: I listened to Mother Mother's - "Body" in a loop to write the desperation moment. Maybe it's just me being too suggestible, but the pace and tone of a music piece totally guide me while writing).

I use Google Docs (on dark mode lol) to write, always. I know it's not super original and I regret not being able to put a nice background or typing sounds like ZenWriter allows you to for example, but it is the most convenient for me because I can carry my WIPs everywhere through my phone or laptop (plus it has the autosave, thinking about your writing curse LMAO).

THE WRITING ITSELF - what I do very factually and in what order.

I start by writing absolutely ANYTHING that comes through my mind, even if it's very shitty or doesn't make sense. Really, anything, no filter, just pure creative torrent flooding through my brain. Most of the time, I never publish the fic like this, it's purely to keep me motivated and to let ideas flow from my brain, otherwise they just don't want to appear. It's more difficult for me to find good ideas/work the flow of what's happening if I have to stop every two minutes and reflect on what I've done. I never correct my spelling at this point either and sometimes even leave words or bits of sentences in French lol. It must be spontaneous and wild.

I usually have the main ideas somewhere written on a note and new ideas are added between them as I write.

Once this draft is finished, I have the rough lines of what's happening and the different parts of the fic, and it's time for what I like to call the "Ripening" phase (yes I'm French ofc I'm using cheese/wine metaphors for my work lmaoo). Basically, I re-read the draft a LOT of times and focus on parts that seem odd/are not well written enough to my liking.

During that phase, I do a lot of research. I like to search for lexical fields, synonyms, original or uncommon words. I use Notion to organize links of all the website/Tumblr pages that I like for discovering vocab. I visit almost every time @/literaryvein-reblogs; their blog is a pure goldmine! (let me know if you want me to share some resources).

With this newly acquired vocab, I like to go for alliteration/assonance. I often replace words I had written during the spontaneous phase with new vocab words that simply sound better together. I also try out different versions of my metaphors and keep what feels better or what is the more telling/meaningful/simply more pleasant to read.

Once all this is finished, I always take the time to re-read the whole thing in one go, trying to step back and put myself as a reader. I often end up deleting parts that seem too long or not essential enough from fear of boring you guys. I think this is purely personal, you writers know what you really want to keep or not in your writing.

So basically that's what's happening: 1. Pure chaotic writing session where I let myself be wild and write nonsense 2. Ripening phase (sorting out the good from the horribly bad from the first phase, vocab, deleting or changing parts, trying out different words and figures of speech, sometimes re-writing whole paragraphs). This phase might be the longest actually. 3. Final reading in one time and last details before publishing.

INSPIRATION AND WRITING STYLE - Getting the pretty picture out of your brain!

I know it feels difficult to put exactly what's on your mind to paper, and sadly just like while painting/drawing, imo you can never reproduce EXACTLY what you see in your brain into a physical object. You can only approach this vision as best you can! Here's what works for me.

I always try to immerse myself completely in the setting; where are the characters, what mindest do they have in this moment, what is surrounding them?

Use the five senses, this is something I do almost systematically. Sight is the most used ofc, but smell and hearing are also ultra important to me. Touch and taste also are central, especially during smut. They help bring words to life!

Don't be afraid to describe a lot; this is important to get closer to what you're picturing and putting the same image in your reader's mind.

Now, this isn't a secret to anyone, my favorite tools are metaphors and comparisons + allegories when I'm good enough to find one. To me they are the best way you can explain to readers what the thing you're picturing is close to without having to factually describe every little detail of it; or how a character feels without being too obvious.

(This is a personal preference of mine. You have to find figures of speech that feels natural and good to you, that you like reading and writing!)

Read. Reading books, poems, other people's fics, and listening to songs and their lyrics are imo the best things you can do to nourish your own writing. We're social animals; a brilliant idea may spontaneously appear from nowhere in one's head but 99% of the time it's from discovering others that your writing style will be refined and perfected (identifying what you like/don't, why you're particularly in awe of a specific sentence or particularly attracted to certain types of phrasing without trying to copy/paste the thing is the way to go)

Be curious! Inspiration also comes from anywhere; go to museums, watch movies, go take a walk in nature, really let yourself be filled with all types of art and information. I use a notebook and my phone to note random things that I see or hear that gives me a sort of "inspiration potential".

e.g: I broke a match trying to light up a candle once. Completely banal and forgettable event. Well, it ended up being a comparison for a wasted potential in Through My Eyes. Yes, the notebook is flooded with random things I probably will never use, but this is also a good way to stay open and receptive to little things around you that can inspire you.

The "show don't tell" technique, as in cinematography is a pretty difficult balance to find but is really efficient to get people interested without offering them obvious things on a golden platter, and I personally love it. Here, here, and here (symptoms and afflictions method) are some more resources!

CONCLUSION AND FINAL ADVICE

As I already said, this is what works for me! You have to find what does for you and always remember to have fun! I know it might sound weird but most of my writing process is spontaneous and words just flow "naturally" out of me most of the time, so I don't really know how to explain things clearly (sorry about that :/)

ALSO your writing takes the time it needs and it's no one else's business!!!

As you can see, my drafts in perpetual change; it's totally fine not to write the perfect fic in one go! Don't be afraid to re-write and change things as many time as you want! (I honestly think I have to stop myself from reading my works because even now after publishing, I would still be changing things!)

Never ever put pressure on yourself while writing, this must not be a source of negative emotions (this goes for writer's block too, everyone has been through it, and you should not feel bad for it!)

The most important thing is for you to try! Try different styles, and different settings, try to get interested in new stuff even if it's not your usual medium. Always be curious!

And for my fellows non-English natives, try to use Grammarly to check your grammar and spelling, WordReference to check for translations/meanings, and DeepL instead of Google's translator!

Here, I think I'm finally done! Sorry it was that long, I hope I could help you Zae, and bring you guys some useful advice! As always, take care, and have fun writing!

-Pine 🌱

[teyamskxawng]

In Heat [I]

Lo'ak Sully x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Keep reading: Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV

The rundown: You seek out Lo'ak, your best friend, in the midst of your first heat cycle. Like the good friend he is, Lo'ak eases you through it.

Warnings: 18+ content, smut, language, characters are aged up, minors do not interact!! please

WC: 5.5k

A/N: user @teyamsxawng's first fic is about lo'ak??? yeah...i have neteyam fics in the works but this was the first avatar fic i wrote so i'm pushing it out now :) i'm also really scared to post my work so please be kind lol. i have like six chapters of this fic written so far with no clear ending in sight, so expect to see more of this soon.

Your first heat was about to begin, and you tried to mentally prepare yourself for what you heard would be an excruciating experience. You had a rough idea of what your first cycle would entail–discomfort, fatigue, and a touch of humiliation–but little did you know just how much it would affect you. Bracing yourself for the onslaught, you grappled with an intensity you had never anticipated.

As you lay on your sleeping mat in the solitude of your home, you curled into a tight ball, desperately trying to cope with the nearly-unbearable pain. The sensation was comparable to harboring a living, breathing creature within you, its heartbeat sending shockwaves of agony throughout your body.

You imagined it being a tiny drummer, vigorously banging its drums in tune with your torment. Hopelessly, you squeezed your legs together, desperate for even the slightest relief amidst the immense pressure emanating from your core. Never in your wildest dreams had you expected your heat to be this intense and all-consuming, turning your routine upside down and leaving you at the mercy of your body.

Amid your futile attempts at alleviating the mounting pressure with your own untrained fingers, you realized that you had no clue what the fuck you were doing. Your anxiety levels skyrocketed as you envisioned the possibility of exacerbating your situation, fearing that you'd end up hurting yourself even more if you tried anything on your own.

With every passing moment, your mind betrayed you–compulsively circling back to the one individual you were trying to distract yourself from: Lo'ak, your best friend.

Tackling that emotional behemoth would be a mental expedition akin to scaling the Hallelujah Mountains with your eyes closed, and you lacked the cognitive stamina for such an endeavor. Regardless, the stubborn recollection of the boy proved to be relentless, a mental scratch that demanded to be itched. Memories of his ability to make your world right again resurfaced, and you couldn't help but contemplate that maybe he was the secret recipe to your current dilemma.

You couldn't deny that you were on the verge of making a catastrophically bad decision, one that would go down in your personal history book as an all-time low. However, it was as if your body had mustered all of its strength to overpower your subconscious completely, that annoying little voice of reason, and take matters into its own hands.

Before you knew it, you were on your two feet, feeling slightly wobbly but determined, run-walking out of your tent like a woman on a mission, seeking out your best friend.

You didn't even have to engage in any sort of exuberating journey to figure out where he'd be. It was as if your very soul could smell him.

His clean, robust musk seamlessly mingled with the sweet spice of his cleansing balm, creating an alluring fusion that your senses simply couldn't resist. The aroma captivated you entirely, and you found yourself drawn to him like a moth to a flame, your feet carrying your body toward the source of sensory delight.

Venturing into the forest, you kept a discreet distance from Hometree and the rest of the clanspeople, desiring solitude, with the only exception being Lo'ak.

You stumbled upon him near a shallow creek, his posture keen and attentive as he scanned the water for signs of fish darting through its depths. His back was a mesmerizing sight, his dark blue stripes tracing the outline of his sinewy, lean muscles.

So alluring was the view that you clenched your fists tightly, restraining yourself from fulfilling the irresistible urge to reach out and touch him. It was as if every fiber of your being demanded that you do so, and it took every ounce of your willpower to resist.

Against your will, an entirely embarrassing sound that was half sigh and half whimper escaped your lips. The unexpected noise caused Lo'ak to jolt in surprise, his hand swiftly reaching for the dagger at his hip as he whirled around to confront the sudden intruder.

In a fleeting moment, the anxiety etched on Lo'ak's face dissolved, replaced by mild amusement as he realized it was none other than his best friend. However, it didn't take long for his concern to resurface as he took in your bewildering appearance.

It was clear you were utterly discombobulated, a far cry from your usual poised demeanor. Your cheeks were flushed a deep purple. Your usually sleek, well-groomed hair had gone rogue, appearing as though you had either been tossing and turning in a fitful slumber or wrestling with a goddamn palulukan.

Adding to your unkempt appearance, your chest was drenched in sweat, heaving rapidly up and down as though you had just sprinted to your location yet still found yourself gasping for air. But what really captured Lo'ak's undivided attention, and sent a shiver down his spine, were your eyes.

Gone were the golden irises he knew so well, replaced by a dark hazel hue that was almost brown. Even more disconcerting, your pupils were dilated to an unnerving degree, appearing as wide as your irises themselves.

Without hesitation, Lo'ak rushed to your side and extended his arm to grasp your forearm gently. "y/n, are you good? You look kinda…"

He couldn't even bring himself to finish the sentence. The only way he could describe you was looking completely disheveled. And the sound you made earlier was definitely not something he was going to dwell on.

You blinked at Lo'ak's hand on your arm. You heaved several deep breaths, attempting to compose yourself. Opening and closing your mouth, it was evident you were wrestling with the right words to convey your thoughts. Eventually, you shook your head in defeat and covered your face with your hands, groaning loudly.

Witnessing this only served to heighten Lo'ak's concern. He furrowed his brow as he studied your condition. "y/n?" he inquired nervously, imagining the worst-case scenario.

Still shielding your face with your hands, you managed to mumble something that might've resembled a sentence. Lo'ak couldn't help but let out a snicker that briefly reverberated through his body. Regaining his composure, he tilted his head in confusion, entirely unable to decipher your garbled words. He admitted honestly, "I have no idea what you're trying to say."

You sighed in defeat. The close proximity of Lo'ak, combined with the overwhelming frustration you felt between your legs, completely overshadowed any embarrassment you may have otherwise experienced.

"I said," you started, your dark eyes fixated on Lo'ak's with an intensity he couldn't ignore, "I just started my first heat cycle." Lo'ak's eyes went wide with shock at your confession.

Of all the things he'd imagined you saying, this possibility ranked the lowest on his mental list. He found himself at a loss for words and unsure what to think or do, especially as he involuntarily pictured you in a state of undeniable sexual frustration.

In response, all he could muster was a weak "oh," his voice faltering mid-syllable, making the situation all the more awkward.

You emitted what sounded like a pained groan, your emotions threatening to overflow into tears. In a vulnerable gesture, you allowed your forehead to rest against Lo'ak's shoulder. He couldn't help but tense up in response to your warm body pressed against him.

"Lo'ak," you whispered through clenched teeth, "it hurts so bad."

Lo'ak found himself struggling for air in the tense situation. With a shaky nod, he attempted to comprehend your words and determine the next course of action. As your best friend, it shouldn't have been a shock that you sought him out during your time of need, especially when that need was your first heat cycle.

Lo'ak hesitantly cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the uneasy feeling that had taken up residence there. "Uh. Are you gonna be okay?" he asked hesitantly.

Blinking repeatedly, your eyelashes tickled Lo'ak's shoulder, causing him to shudder. Your voice was filled with uncertainty as you admitted, "I don't know. I can't… I'm scared I'll make it worse or hurt myself or…I don't know. I just need—"

Your grip on Lo'ak's arms tightened, your words trailing off. The message was clear—you had no idea what to do, and you were scared, turning to Lo'ak for solace and support.

In that instant, Lo'ak found himself filled with a sudden surge of empathy and understanding. With newfound determination, he placed his hands on your back, extending his fingers across your skin as he gently rubbed up and down.

Upon feeling his reassuring touch, you exhaled sharply, adjusting your position to bury your face in the crook of his neck. For a while, you two simply remained like that, sharing gentle caresses and the soothing sound of your uneven breaths.

At last, you found your voice amidst the silence. "Lo'ak," you whispered, your tone holding a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability.

It was barely audible, a faint whisper in the wind, yet Lo'ak caught it without any trouble, and he could undeniably sense the subtle movement of your body, inching even closer to his.

At first, Lo'ak couldn't tell whether you had done that deliberately, but then you shifted your weight further down onto his leg, nestling his left thigh snugly between your own two legs, ever so gently grazing yourself on his taut muscle.

Lo'ak had to consciously remind himself to breathe, to inhale and exhale, because there was no way that you could possibly be getting yourself off on his leg. Shamelessly. Completely unapologetic.

The physical contact must not have been enough to provide you any relief, as evidenced by the fragmented cry of aggravation that reverberated against his neck. "It's not…."

Lo'ak fully understood your sentiment, nodding his head empathetically at your frustration. "No, yeah. Here, let's just—"

He pulled away from you, or rather, he gently moved you away from himself, extracting a barely audible whimper from you. He held you delicately by the shoulders, keeping you at arm's length, and his heart plummeted at the sight of the tears that meandered down from your glassy eyes.

You were hurting and in distress, and witnessing it tore Lo'ak apart. In a flurry of motion, he reached out to cradle your face, tenderly wiping away each persistent tear with the pads of his thumbs.

You squeezed your eyes shut, cheeks burning with a mixture of embarrassment and frustration as you tried to keep your composure. His gentle touch drove you to the brink of madness. You loathed feeling so exposed and powerless, particularly in Lo'ak's presence. You took solace in the fact that, at the very least, he wasn't poking fun at you or rubbing salt in your emotional wounds. No, he was actually being kind.

In a soft voice, Lo'ak said, "C'mere," as he retreated towards an enormous tree trunk. Gently placing a hand on your wrist, he coaxed you to follow him. And in your current state of emotional upheaval, you found yourself unable to resist his pull.

Lo'ak found a comfortable spot on the forest floor, casually sitting against a tree trunk with his legs stretched out before him.

"You can sit if you want…it might be easier," he offered, attempting to hide the fact that his own face was now flushed with what could only be described as a matching shade of purple to yours. The tension of the situation was not lost on either of you.

He didn't need to tell you twice. In a move that bordered on comedic desperation, you practically threw yourself onto Lo'ak's lap, settling on his left thigh with a soft sigh. The newly adjusted position felt infinitely better than before. The direct contact sent shivers down your spine, and the pressure on your core momentarily eased as you clamped your thighs around his leg.

You were desperately chasing that tantalizing feeling, and you could hardly bring yourself to feel a hint of shame as your body instinctively pursued it.

With an almost artful finesse, you adjusted your hips to attain the perfect level of pressure on your front. You were acutely aware of the dampness that began to form on Lo'ak's thigh due to your wetness, and even though a flicker of internal mortification plagued you, you simply couldn't find it in yourself to halt your actions.

With each move, you felt Lo'ak's leg flex beneath you, inadvertently applying exquisite pressure against the sensitive nub at your front.

The sensation was nothing short of divine. It was so overwhelming that you couldn't help but let out a moan of pleasure—a sound foreign to your ears but not significant enough to make you care.

Lo'ak, on the flip side, was experiencing an entirely different world.

His senses were fully alert, allowing him to take in every sight, sound, and feeling that unfolded before him in real-time. The whole situation played out like the most incredible, wet, thrillingly vivid dream he had ever encountered.

Desperate to maintain his composure, Lo'ak clenched his hands tightly against his sides, so much so that his knuckles turned a few shades paler than their initial blue.

As he attempted to stay as collected as possible, he couldn't help but wish for some magic remedy to sort out his persistent erection. It pressed uncomfortably against his loincloth at an awkward angle as if it were mocking him.

You unexpectedly interrupted his chain of thought, your voice sounding broken and desperate.

"I'm sorry," you breathed out, your eyes clenched shut as your mouth fell open, unable to suppress another moan. "just feels so good."

Lo'ak observed you with the utmost attention, his heart clenching tightly within his chest. In a barely audible volume, he softly reassured you, "Don't apologize; it's okay. Do what you have to do."

He was confident that, despite his subdued tone, you could hear and understand him fully.

You inhaled deeply, your breath quavering as you attempted to calm yourself down. Your tongue swept across your parched lips, and you swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in your throat. You found yourself unable to respond, yet continued experimenting with different rhythms and levels of pressure, determined to find the optimal approach to take yourself to the verge of ecstasy.

As your quest yielded fruitful results, you began better understanding your body.

With every sway of your hips, you experienced a surge of delight that coursed through your entire being. Each motion brushed your most sensitive areas against Lo'ak's narrow, muscular frame, sending chills up your spine.

You could feel your breaths growing shallower and more rapid, the warmth of your breath caressing Lo'ak's skin as your eyes remained tightly shut in indulgence. You allowed yourself to fully enjoy the moment, unabashedly taking advantage of his presence for the sake of your own pleasure.

As you continued, the tension within your abdomen stretched further and further, like a taut rubber band about to snap. Beads of sweat formed on your glistening skin, and your panting filled the air.

The overwhelming sense of pleasure threatened to pour forth, and your toes instinctively curled in response to the inevitable release building inside you. Unable to contain yourself any longer, you let out a delicate mewl while elevating the speed of your motions.

You uttered desperately, "I'm so close, Lo'…fuck. It's so much." Your voice, filled with raw emotion, dripped with anticipation.

As that blissful sensation intensified within your lower abdomen, teetering on the edge of release, Lo'ak took a deep swallow. His voice was low and throaty as he softly whispered to you, providing reassurance and encouragement, "You're okay, y/n. Just let yourself go."

His words were just what you needed, a string of curses falling from your lips as you felt your orgasm wash over and your walls clench around nothing. Your face softened with pleasure as you let out a shaky exhale, still sliding your now completely oversensitive clit across his thigh.

With a whispered sigh, Lo'ak reassured you, "Just like that, I've got you. It's okay." His hands tenderly left their perch at his sides, returning to the relative safety of your back. Gently, he stroked your soft skin, providing comfort as you descended from the peak of your intense high.

His soothing words and embrace gave you warmth from within, a sensation of security wrapping you up like a comforting blanket. You couldn't deny the feelings that Lo'ak's presence evoked in you.

At this point, one would presume you had suffered enough self-inflicted humiliation for a single day, but no.

As quickly as you bid farewell to your recent high, an insistent, throbbing ache woke anew within your deepest core. The previous experience proved a mere prequel, a teasing overture for the reverberating need you knew you just could not ignore. Your desires for touch and release cried out incessantly; Lo'ak was nestled beneath you all the while, painfully tempting—so close yet so frustratingly far.

With a gulp of determination and an unceremonious discard of any remaining semblance of pride, you peeled your eyes open, greeted by the half-lidded, entranced gaze of Lo'ak. His voice laced with curiosity; he inquired, "Is it better?"

You knitted your forehead together, desperately attempting to articulate the whirlwind of feelings that surged through you. It was a monumental challenge, one that left your mind racing with a relentless barrage of risqué thoughts involving what you desired Lo'ak to do to you.

Sighing, you muttered to yourself, "How is it still there?"

Lo'ak, on the other hand, was doing everything in his power to grasp the situation and figure out how he could alleviate your distress.

Puzzled, he inquired, "How is what still where…?"

In response, you actually hissed at Lo'ak, baring your fangs and all, unable to contain your frustration. He was so stupid. So warm and strong and pretty and stupid. You thought this as your eyes roamed over his strong, warm, and undeniably attractive figure.

"The urge, skxawng!" Your body involuntarily responded by undulating your hips against Lo'ak's leg. His eyes drifted downward for a moment to follow your movements before refocusing back on your face with concern.

You continued to explain, "The urge to be touched, I don't know why it's still there."

Suddenly, you glanced down at your own body, only then becoming aware of the rhythmic motion you had been unconsciously performing. In an effort to regain some semblance of control, you dug your fingernails into your thighs, willing your body to cease its movements.

Lo'ak grunted at the sight of you holding yourself back, the grip on your legs tight enough to cut off your circulation. Unable to stand it anymore, he pried your slender fingers from your thigh and gently took your hands in his own, much larger ones.

He tried to make eye contact with you but soon realized you were lost in your thoughts, staring intently at your lap. With a bit of patience, he finally managed to catch your dark irises when you fleetingly looked up at him.

"Okay," he began earnestly, "just tell me what I can do to make it better."

Though a bit hesitant, his voice was full of sincerity and determination.

Much to his surprise, your eyes widened even further. Shock, hope, and a dash of something else filled them all at once. He was really giving you complete freedom, entrusting himself to you to alleviate the pain of your heat.

With that, you decided to take the leap. "I want you to use your hands on me," you murmured, bringing yours and Lo'ak's intertwined hands toward your abdomen.

You watched Lo'ak's facial expressions with keen interest as you hesitantly guided his fingers to your most intimate spot. Despite the thin fabric separating his digits from your flesh, you couldn't suppress the breathy moan that escaped your lips.

"Right there," you continued, your voice trembling as you released your grasp on Lo'ak's hand. To your immense relief, his fingers didn't retreat. Instead, they maintained gentle pressure, sending pleasant tingles throughout your lower body.

Suddenly, it was as if Lo'ak had awakened from a daze. He looked up at you with curious desire evident in his eyes but still managed to convey his genuine concern.

"You're sure?" he inquired with the utmost caution, seeking all the verbal affirmation he could possibly get. No matter the circumstance, he would never let himself exploit you in such a vulnerable state.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance at Lo'ak's search for reassurance.

You couldn't help but think that Lo'ak asking for consent would be an irresistible turn-on under any other circumstance. However, given your state of urgent need, you craved immediate physical touch and control, no questions asked.

In a display of impatience, you threw your head back in exasperation, your own hand carelessly venturing beneath your loincloth to explore the fiery depths of your core.

"Please," you managed to utter, despite never being one to steep as low as begging. It was embarrassing, but that was genuinely the only word that managed to take shape in your mind amidst your overwhelming desires.

Lo'ak, finally sensing the critical nature of the situation, offered a hastened nod to the increasingly desperate girl before him. His heart pounded with exhilaration as his trembling fingers made short work of loosening your loincloth.

Captivated, his eyes were drawn to the now fully exposed treasure that lay between your legs.

Despite the circumstances, an undeniable blush spread across your cheeks, leaving you feeling more exposed than ever before.

With utmost care, Lo'ak gently guided your legs further apart. His fingers, like tendrils of affection, traced a delicate path around the contour of your knee and then traveled along the length of your inner thigh. Their journey didn't end until they arrived at your already glistening core. A single, adventurous fingertip glided gingerly along your lips before hesitantly prodding at your entrance. Your spine stiffened involuntarily, a sharp gasp emitting from your lips.

"Shit. Does it hurt?" Taken aback, Lo'ak's eyes widened as he witnessed your intense reaction—his reassuring self-assurance evaporated.

He immediately interpreted your pinched expression as a sign of hurt or discomfort. Alarmed, he became a living statue, daring not to move a muscle, his finger maintaining its intrusion of the slightest degree.

With an air of bewilderment, you stammered, "No, it's just so different," struggling to put your experience into words.

"Is that a bad thing?" His panicked gaze searched for your eyes.

Trying your best to control your emotions, you responded with a bit of a quiver in your voice, "No. No, it's really good. Keep going."

Lo'ak let out a shaky, relieved exhale, thankful that he wasn't causing you any discomfort. He proceeded with a short nod, allowing his finger to submerge into your eager embrace.

Your jaw went slack, eyes flickering in surprise, head tilting back as you reacted to the new, fuller sensation. The taut muscles in your abdomen quivered as you fought the urge to press yourself against him even further.

Lo'ak maintained a leisurely rhythm with his finger. A tender whimper escaped your lips as you adjusted to the near-overwhelming sensation, waves of undiscovered pleasure enveloping you, easing the fiery longing at your very core.

"Shh, you're okay, y/n," Lo'ak murmured softly, the hushed vibration of his words coursing through your entire body. A warmth flooded your face, and you quickly looked down, suddenly feeling feverish.

Seemingly unfazed, a second of Lo'ak's fingers joined the first, proceeding at their unhurried speed while your own hands struggled to find something to occupy, something to keep you grounded in reality.

You reached a hand out to grasp his shoulder–your grip probably bordering on painful–while your other hand covered your mouth in a hopeless bid to stifle the embarrassing sounds you kept unconsciously making.

"Oh, fuck." You mumbled, your hips twitching as his thumb grazed over your swollen clit.

An overwhelming wave of delight crashed over you, unlike anything you'd ever experienced. It built in the pit of your stomach, erupting into a continuous stream of moans that escaped from your lips while Lo'ak performed the entrancing move once again.

With one last deft stroke of Lo'ak's thumb, you reached the peak of your sensations. All you could do was mumble out an embarrassed string of apologies as you shattered around him, legs shaking, your entire body trembling from the sheer intensity of your second climax.

"No, you don't have to apologize. That's it, there you go." Lo'ak whispered above you, his hands securely gripping your hips. He watched you in a mixture of amazement and disbelief as you came undone on top of him.

In the aftermath of your unforeseen encounter, you and Lo'ak found yourselves sitting together in a tense, stunned silence.

Lo'ak's fingers remain deeply lodged inside your warmth, a vivid reminder of the unexpected turn your meeting had taken. While slowly regaining composure, Lo'ak's thoughts naturally drifted to his own throbbing predicament. He fervently attempted to push those intrusive musings aside, focusing all his mental strength (what little of it he had left) on anything else that might've provided a reprieve.

To distance his mind further from his own problem, Lo'ak mustered up the courage to break the otherwise heavy silence.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, he managed to ask, "How about now? Does, uh. Does it feel better?" His question, though well-intentioned, seemed to hang in the air, almost as if it were searching for a suitable landing spot.

Still catching your breath, you eventually acknowledged Lo'ak's efforts. With a meek nod and a quiet, "Yeah. Thank you," you did your part in attempting to lift the air of awkwardness that had befallen the two of you.

In response, Lo'ak merely mimicked your nod, his gaze drifting back to the delicate situation of his hand's continued connection with your lower half. A determined expression graced his face as he gently gripped your waist, carefully guiding his fingers free from your tight warmth.

The ridiculously obscene squelch of the movement caused you both to flush, despite everything you'd just done with each other.

As his fingers slid away, moistened with your slick, you were overtaken by a deep, almost primal desire to capture every last trace of yourself from his fingers. You felt absolutely unhinged.

Lo'ak, completely unaware of your internal struggle, stared at his own hand, held up between the two of you. His eyes widened in disbelief and amazement as he realized the impact his touch had on you.

Unsure of how to handle his newfound emotion, Lo'ak stealthily tried to wipe his hand on the lush grass beneath him, but your sudden vice-like grip stopped him.

Your eyes blazed with a mixture of desperation and wild abandon, yet you couldn't bring yourself to explain your overwhelming urge.

Instead, you gently guided Lo'ak's hand close to your face and took two of his soaked digits into your mouth. A soft moan escaped your lips as you savored the taste, feeling the fullness of his fingers as they filled your mouth.

You hastened your efforts in cleaning them, the graceful movement of your lips against his skin bringing you a sense of intense warmth and satisfaction as the previously overwhelming sensations within you began to subside. Finally, you released his hand, but not before planting a series of tender licks across his fingertips, ensuring that nothing remained.

As you finally met Lo'ak's eyes, you became painfully aware of the fact that you had just come on your best friend (twice).

Not only that, but you had to go and make matters even worse by practically worshiping his fingers with your mouth. The heat in your cheeks intensified as you gingerly placed Lo'ak's hand back in his lap.

With a desperate need to refocus your attention, you quickly averted your eyes from the boy to avoid being tempted by any further impulsive behavior. You busied your fingers with the painstaking task of reattaching your undone loincloth, double knotting the ties as if that would erase the memory of your exposed lower half from Lo'ak's mind.

Managing only to utter a brief "Sorry," you could sense the tension in the air. It was almost palpable.

Lo'ak, however, responded with a calming and reassuring deep voice, "You don't have to apologize."

You snorted inwardly at the thought that that was at least the third time he had said some variation of those very words to you in the last ten minutes alone.

You offered a subtle nod, unable to bring yourself to look at, speak to, or even touch your friend at that moment.

In a sudden, jerky movement, you disentangled yourself from his leg. You planted yourself on the forest floor, sitting against the same tree trunk that supported Lo'ak.

You couldn't help but glance back at his thigh, noticing the glistening evidence of your prior proximity. Your heart must have stopped beating for a good few seconds. You squeezed your eyes shut, mentally chanting a string of curses in a bid to cope with the irrepressible embarrassment that swept through your body.

The tense silence that ensued felt like an eternity, each moment stretching out painfully while the muted sounds of the Pandoran forest hummed in the background. Your mind raced, desperately trying to come up with an escape plan.

You really, really needed to leave. Like, yesterday. But you were still firmly rooted in your spot, too terrified to move even a muscle.

Then, without warning, the quiet was shattered by the violent rustling of leaves nearby. As if summoned by your wishful thinking, Neteyam appeared through the greenery. He wore an exasperated expression upon seeing you and his brother sitting together against the tree.

"Lo'ak! Dad sent you to fetch a single fish thirty minutes ago! What are you doing?!"

Neteyam's patience was wearing thin as he grabbed his brother by the arm, dragging him to his feet, his eyes probing for a reasonable explanation.

"Shit, bro. I'm sorry! I was fishing, I swear. But then I ran into y/n, and…" Lo'ak's voice trailed off, his eyes darting toward you as he recalled the events that transpired during your brief encounter. "…she just needed my help for a minute. It was really important."

Neteyam exhaled loudly in frustration, clearly annoyed at his brother's excuse. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, gathering his composure, and then fixed his glare upon Lo'ak, followed by you.

His eyes narrowed as he scrutinized you both, sporting matching blushes and attempting to maintain nonchalant expressions. Neteyam knew you two all too well; you were always getting into some kind of mischief together.

But today, he decided, he could spare you the grilling session. With an exaggerated shake of his head, he urged Lo'ak toward the direction of the creek, giving the back of his brother's head a not-so-gentle nudge as he passed by.

"A single fish," Neteyam mumbled, running a hand over his braids in disbelief as he glared at his brother.

You sensed that your chance for a getaway had finally arrived–it was now or never.

Your muscles tensed, eager to lengthen the gap between yourself and Lo'ak (or any other living being within your vicinity, for that matter). You sprung to your feet and hastily ran your fingers through your tousled hair, attempting to tame its disarray. You smoothed your top and made sure that your loincloth was properly adjusted.

"I should get going," you stammered, trying to swallow your nervousness. "I have some…um…chores I need to finish."

Both boys turned their attention toward you, with Neteyam giving you an amicable nod while donning a warm smile. Lo'ak, for his part, offered you a tender smile of his own, causing you to stifle the shy grin that threatened to conquer your entire countenance.

As you stood there, poised for your great escape, you were reminded of the delicacy and reassurance that radiated from Lo'ak just a few minutes prior.

Lo'ak, typically the embodiment of immaturity—a foolhardy best friend in the purest sense—managed to make your heart flutter with his tender warmth, nurturing you through your dire ordeal. He took care of you, offered praises and soothing words, and fuck. You wanted it again and again.

Abruptly, you snapped out of your daydream, realizing you were meandering down a dangerous tangent. You shook your head, as though physically trying to jolt your mind back into reality.

"Thanks, Lo'ak," you managed gratefully, making eye contact with him for just a bit longer than was probably necessary. "I mean it. For helping me."

Lo'ak, seemingly caught off-guard by your intense gaze, replied with a faint but earnest, "Course."

All the while, Neteyam couldn't help but furrow his brows at your peculiar exchange, very much aware of the odd dynamic between you two.

Sensing the need to move forward, Lo'ak immediately added, "Let me know if I can help you again."

Blushing at the implication, you nodded your head vigorously, fully aware that a similar scenario might very well arise in the future.

You offered a hasty wave to the two brothers before you spun around and embarked on your journey back to your home, navigating the wild landscape, distractedly ducking under low-hanging branches and batting away intrusive leaves.

There was no way you were making it through your first heat cycle alive.

Keep reading: Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV

[heart2beom]

Hellooo I’ve said this as an anon before but I absolutely love your writing! Unrelated, but I was wondering if you have any Beomgyu fic recommendations? I read everything I could in the long post containing fic recs on your previous 4beomy account and I loved every single one of them, but now I can’t find anything left so I’m just rereading my faves LOL Thank you! (And also, thank you for writing! Again, your fics make me so happy)

You’re sooo sweet, thank you for complimenting me not once but TWICE 😭😭?? In terms of recs, I honestly have no idea if I’ve read anything much lately so I had to quickly cruise through my likes both on here and my old blog 😭

I present to you the list of beomgyu fics I’ve decently enjoyed (hopefully no repeats from my other list):

-> Message in a Bottle by @delacyrose224

very cute stuff, best friends to lovers...everyone knows at this point, but i'll forever express my love for this basic ass trope (i literally have a full list of books for b2l. the best romance books come from this trope!!!). one thing i loved about this fic is the portrayal of beomgyu-- just a genuinely good guy. the way he was discreet about his jealousy instead of making a whole deal about it, like fuck i love a mature, healthy dynamic, its so freaking cute

-> Night In by @tqmies

a dark fic, but its so good. i especially liked the fantasy element/twist on a common trope. everything about this is well written but the ending will give you some heebie jeebies (cant believe i just used that) its some fucked up shit 😭 um but b2l beomgyu!! (shoot me in the head)

-> A Recipe for Love by @tinietaehyun

who doesnt love a good old b2l beomgyu roommate fluff!?!?! it's soooo freaking cute i swear i never giggled so much 😭 this writer in general is very good with words and imagery, it's incredibly vivid.

-> how could you not know? by @angelbythewindow

have you noticed the pattern? yeah, it's another b2l. i LOVED the use of flashbacks here and the cute usage of the childhood "beanpole" nickname like shut up do you want me to die? the emotions here were OVERPOWERING. i felt everything beomgyu felt, felt everything mc felt, it was just sosososososo well written.

-> Why We (Don't) Work by @cafeseoulmate

haha. definitely not another b2l!!! i never included this on my other blog's rec list (bcs i dont think it was out at the time) but it is my most recent reblog on 4beomy so i'm fairly sure you've seen it. but regardless, for anyone else who's looking for beomgyu fics, please please please READ THIS. i wouldn't say it's a plot sort of story, it builds off of a lot of flashbacks and whatnot, but that's what makes it so great. like you get a feel for their relationship, why both characters just wouldn't work out (hence the title) but then the more you read the more you're like...alright... YOU KNOW?? like fuck, i almost teared up by the end it was such a cute love confession. a must read for all the bamtoris.

-> slam dunk, lover boy by @qqtxt

just absolutely cute stuff. check out everything from this blog, just binge, you're guaranteed fluffy cuteness. nothing really happens between the two here, but its still really cute and ykw i wanted some change here, so this is a sprinkle of e2l beomgyu

-> Stood Up by @imaginidol

okay, it's angst, i'll be straight up. but idk it was an enjoyable read, even though a little sad at the end 😭

-> Moonflower by @sleeping-sirens

really sweet short stuff, i love beomgyu i swear

-> somniferous confessions by @gyu-xiao

i don't usually read bulleted fics (this is the only one i've read actually 😭) but this is worth the read. i genuinely squealed a few times, giggled like tons, it was so adorable i loved it.

-> be my date by @blossom-hwa

honestly a little bit of a blur, i read this ages ago, but it's good because blossom hwa wrote it like trust me.

-> i know i love you by @universecorp

tried really hard to not include smut but this is definitely a little more plot driven than it is smut, it's sweet. a little angsty but i love it. smut at the end is definitely skippale, just concluding it as the fact that they made love is cute enough too 😭

-> check yes, juliet by @fairyofthestar

-> Yours Truly by @boba-beom

so so freaking cute. we're back with the b2ls but who cares, we all know it fits him so well!!!

-> old friend by @hueningshaped

a little bit of a spin on the fake dating trope and i love it. exes pretending to be lovers? hello? i'm so happy the ending wasn't hard hitting 😭

Fics I'm looking forward to read:

-> The Case by @tinietaehyun

not beomgyu centered but idk i love everything this person has written so far so i'm going to tackle this series. give it a read, i'm sure this'll give someone a good mindfuck since it is a detective series 😭

-> Ashen by @writingmochi

i think i might read this tonight actually, but yeah definitely check this one out. i can sniff out a great writer when i see one!!!!

-> Newsflash! by @ijhyo

teaser has me hooked, like everything about the secret identity...yeah, will wait on it.

-> This Love by @delacyrose224

ive always thought a beomgyu and taehyun love triangle would be a recipe for a perfect fic like… it just makes so much sense because theyre so different in personalities and that clash is just a perfect storm for a love triangle. so i will be reading 🙏 plus, it’s decently long! does it get any better?

Hopefully I got you covered for a couple of days anon 😭 I'll go back to reblogging recommended fics again once I get my shit together at uni, too many good writers out here 💔

[kirbyluvr63]

OMG, THANK YOU FOR THE RECS!!!!

i love how much thought u put into each recommendation. i don’t have a lot of experience with formula 1, i must confess, but my absolute best friend&soulmate is OBSESSED.

i decided to read some of her fanfics so she could have someone to talk with, but her fav ship Oscar/Lando, did not do it for me…

my favorites drivers are Max and George, and in this flavorless landoscar fic, there’s some lestappen that i got interested in… so my friend recommended me lestappen fics and i actually liked 2 of them!

but when i went digging the others they were all… kind of lame? not well written, way too dependent on references and the kind of work that is only enjoyable if you’re a super fan. and with max and charles, i didn’t see a lot of meaningful or interesting plots, they all follow the same recipe (and are very ABO, even the ones that aren’t…) and yeah they’re hot ig but where’s the internalized homophobia??????

i’m quite obsessive with fanfic, so when i read one it must either be AMAZING or from a ship i like so much i don’t care about its quality (i just wanna visualize them in different scenarios in my head).

i’ve noticed from ur posts that we have similar taste and opinions (both in f1 and fanfics), so i knew you wouldn’t disappoint me! i’m really glad u recommended me fanfics with my fav drivers without knowing it hehehe and i love pretty much all those themes you mentioned.

i’ll check them out and tell you about it! wait for me.

the pleasure was all mine!! i love yapping and recommending things and please tell me ALL about it, seriously.

it's funny you'd say landoscar bc i also don't really care about them, maybe it'll be less bland now that they're starting to kinda hate each other hahaha

i tried to read some carlando fics bc it's the more popular ship with carlos but they all try to paint carlos as the one who'd be the pining idiot and that's just not reality, sorry, carlos' too hot for that. i'm very annoying about characterization, lol. i discovered that i just don't really care about any ship involving lando.

i could feel the "the others they were all… kind of lame?" in my SOUL. f1 is the first fandom that i've ever been that sorting by bookmarks on ao3 Does Not give you the best fics. there's some, sure, but the first pages are also littered with some veeeeery whatever fics. i can understand the appeal of lestappen and i like rivals to lovers (i like brocedes and prosenna for fucks sake) but they just don't have the angst necessary for me to don't find it bland. they have the inchident whatever, but brocedes and prosenna have... EVERYTHING!! (i also dislike abo lmao but i have a bigger enemy... royalty aus. why the fuck are there so many royalty aus in f1 fics?? lets come up with something else like i love aus where they still work on the paddock but as a mechanics or physical therapists etc)

to me, the dynamic between max and daniel is much more interesting: the age gap, the young prodigy/old 'washed up' pro duality... how can you not like it?? redbull could've made them never look at one another again the way they fucked over daniel but they're STILL FRIENDS!! like real real friends. i love them very much!!!

im so happy you like george too!! hes my precious pathetic little deer girlfriend whom i worry about 24/7 <3

i was a bit worried when i was recommending stuff bc i know i don't have the most mainstream of tastes in f1 fandom so im very pleased you asked me specifically bc you could feel we liked the same things :DD

anyways, i'll stop yapping now, i hope we'll talk again soon! :)

[nejishadow]

PART 3 of Kenjikoto / makokenji drabbles and general Kenji ramblings from the Kenji discord. Plus one about Kenji and Daisuke being half brothers to end it off!

This one focuses almost entirely on the AUs I've had thoughts on, because kenjikoto has none of the staples! That needs to be remedied!!

Wanna see me ramble about them in real time, bounce ideas, think way too hard about Kenji headcanons and generally just wanna talk about Kenji?? Join @bakafurai's Kenji Discord! Link in its' bio!!

Like the other two posts, you're free to be inspired by these ideas for this ship, flesh them out, fanart / fanfic whatever! I encourage it because I haven't written fic in years! Just tag me, link me, something, because people being inspired by my work is the biggest boost to my productivity ever.

Everything below the read more! This one is long and I mean LONG so be ready for that!

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General drabbles

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Kenji and Makoto sharing their music and earbuds with each other. Back and forth of more energetic and ambient. Stay With Me (Miki Matsubara) comes on. Makoto getting a kinda melancholy look, a tiny chuckle. Leans back and relaxes, shuts his eyes, the smallest smile on his face. And Kenji realizes he suddenly can't look away. He really hopes Makoto doesn't open his eyes because he can't even seem to move, he can only admire Makoto's smile, and that's dangerous with this song playing

---------------

Kenji Link and Makoto Shiek going to a con. But Makoto keeps delivering wrong lines in the flatest tone

"Hey, watch out. It's dangerous to go alone." "He doesn't say that… Why'd you agree to come with me again? Besides teasing me?"

Shrug. He was just curious, honestly

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Sick Fic

Written for @bakafurai lol

Maybe Makoto and Kenji planned a hangout but Kenji never showed.

Makoto gets his address (he has his ways) to make sure he's ok and Kenji Is Not, it turns out

Kenji being stubborn, "I'm fine man it's just a pressure headache just let me lie back down." Makoto Does Not let him do that.

Maybe it's best post-makoto's-flu so he can kinda remember what everyone did for him. Or is it extra funny if he spam calls Shinjiro just to get recipes for good food for this? Both?? Both.

Then you just have the soft domesticity of them tucked into the couch watching TV while Makoto keeps him from trying to sneak off (no you're not fine, stop moving)

Kenji apologetic that he ruined their previous plans for the day, Makoto shouldn't be wasting his time dealing with this, with him

Makoto firmly grabbing Kenji's head to look him in the eye, very serious - "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. Besides, if you don't get healthy, you can't make up for it, Tomochika."

Kenji shocked. Oh. That's… so nice to hear him say. If he's sniffly he can blame the sickness

Then they can marathon Kenji's fav shows and eat so much soup, and Kenji can fall asleep tucked into Makoto's side. Soft

Extra soft for Makoto to also relax enough to lean back on Kenji and take a nap

If they're on a living room couch (or if she's just the type to waltz into his room unannounced) you could also have his little sister come home and assume they were having a date at home + nobody is awake to correct her, and Kenji gets teased forever about it.

---------------

Had the vision of Kenji trying to do pocky game with Makoto. Kenji's the one who suggests it, but he's also the one to break the pocky, bluster, and generally be a mess. But wants to keep trying! Meanwhile Makoto just munching through the sticks on his end, he knows Kenji's working through it, he'll get there… hopefully before they run outta pocky * shakes box *

THIS HAS AN EXPANDED DRABBLE

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All Sorts of AUs

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Hanahaki AU

More fitting that Makoto is the one with hanahaki. I think he's more likely to recognize his feelings but deny / ignore them, versus Kenji who just doesn't easily recognize what he's feeling is romantic.

Potential flowers for Makoto:

white violets (taking chances [but he won't])

yellow tulips (love that's hopeless)

blue tulips (trust)

scabuis (unfortunate attachment)

maiden's blush rose (you'll know I love you, if you love me [in his case it's outta fear])

blue roses (yearning for the unobtainable)

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College AU

Super loose ideas for a College AU

Kenji going into fashion / design

Makoto going into photography (maybe minoring in something more "practical" because he's always told to?)

Fashion majors need nice photographs for a show / exhibition they're planning. Only Makoto is free for the entire ongoing period (or if others are, just don't wanna do it)

Can't decide if it's better Makoto's reputation precedes him so the department has preconceived notions, or if he's so lowkey nobody really knows him so is offput by his attitude.

Either way, Kenji is gonna try to be friendly because no one else seems to be trying

(the guy's fashion being nonexistent might play a tiny role, he really wants to dress the guy better)

Makoto allows them to talk as he walks around, getting the first things everyone needs. Kenji is then appointed as Makoto's contact (he doesn't mind, but does no one else seriously wanna talk to this guy??)

They stay professional for texting and calling. For a short while. Kenji quickly breaks and asks him to be his model of sorts, let him plan one of his big assignments around him

Makoto shrugs. Sure. Long as it doesn't interfere with his own classes

as time goes on school work hangouts become more casual hangouts, to mostly just going out to have fun.

trying to decide if this is the funniest AU to have Makoto think they're dating, and Kenji isn't aware of this, since these hangouts are pretty much dates anyway

---------------

Soulmate AU

Soulmates identified through matching marks.

Kenji and Makoto aren't soulmates but fall in love anyway.

Soulmates aren't inherently romantic in this universe, but possibly seen as odd to not stay with one who's love is romantic in nature

Rio and Kenji platonic soulmates. They have a matching mark on their lower backs, possibly a constellation? Kenji isn't aware of this, and Rio is in denial over their bond not being romantic for a bit. She was hoping for a fairytale romance like some get, but comes to her truth that she wanted the grand feeling over a real thing.

Makoto and Ryoji are close to literal soulmates, not romantic ones. Their souls just match each other. Their mark is a mole under the right eye. A very understated mark due to how strong their synergy is, this isn't a thing that's common at all. Makoto assumes he just doesn't have a soulmate and everyone thinks it's a regular mole

Thought of a scene where Kenji and Makoto go swimming (because they deserve to), and Kenji realizes he's been looking all over Makoto for… something, maybe to indicate they're the same (not soulmates haha, how crazy would that be!), gets the slightest disappointment when he doesn't see anything. Makoto can tell the mood shifted down a bit for whatever reason, gets Kenji's attention with a head tilt. And promptly shoves him in the water Kenji quickly forgets what he was being moody about

---------------

Role Reversal AU

Unlike Makoto, who seems to draw people in for bonds somewhat, Kenji's bonds are formed by him going out of his way to interact with people.

Junpei could be his magician, like he is for FeMC, because the Magician card doesn't fit Makoto.

Kenji's not a great leader -- maybe not even good at first -- but he's tenacious and passionate enough to make up for it.

Since Ryoji looks the same for Makoto and Kotone, possibly looks the same for Kenji, presumably the Nyx influence gives Ryoji his palette.

Kenji uses a dagger. He also customizes his S.E.E.S uniform beyond the norm for both comfort and fashion. He convinces Mitsuru to let him do it because if he's not comfortable he can't lead well.

"If I have to wear it all the time, it needs to be comfortable! I can't be doin' moves or commands on clothing that's making me chafe."

… Mitsuru can't argue against that too hard. As long as he can properly fight, she concedes.

Makoto most likely the Tower Arcana. Resistant to change due to past trauma and bad coping mechanisms + trying to avert further issues by being overly passive. But there were 3 or 4 cards he could feasibly be instead, this is possibly up for change

Trauma probably stemming from same thing as canon, parents lost in a car crash

So unlike Kenji who is overly friendly and a bit blind to others feelings, Makoto is insanely passive and seemingly uncaring. This leads to him being bullied or pushed around a lot because he won't fight back and people think he's a freak for being so blank.

Maybe he tried fighting back for a little bit in the past and it didn't help, so he gave up. And nobody will risk helping him now because they don't want to be lumped in with him.

Kenji, new to this school, doesn't have any of these predispositions, starts his SL with Makoto by scaring off some of those people (partially just wanting to flex his SEES training). This event probably doesn't happen at school, they don't want to risk disciplinary committee catching them possibly?? Big Maybe

Makoto shocked that this just happened, something like this would never happen to him. Won't tell Kenji anything about why this was happening or who the people involved were, but Kenji manages to at least weasel times and places he's consistently at school to see him again.

General SL about getting Makoto to see that this isn't what he deserves. The people that want to hurt him don't deserve a chance to do it. He deserves to feel the same things others do.

Extra Stuff

Makoto's hangout spot would probably be the library, quiet and people leave him alone. That or in front of the bookshop. Bonus hangouts at the music store and karaoke.

Rank 10 item a matching MP3 to his. Kenji asked about his music so much he thought it's the least he can do.

Kenji convincing him to hang out the first few ranks by studying at the library and then inviting him out to eat. This also means Makoto is alone less, smaller chance of someone causing issues

Makoto's fav gift to receive possibly food? Maybe it's easier for him to show appreciation for it.

Possible Sunday hangout playing Innocent Sin Online.

I cannot decide what the theoretical romance trigger would be, if I think of something interesting I'll eventually put it in a post.

---------------

Coffeeshop AU

Coffeeshop is such a staple. But not having solid ideas of when to place it. Most likely it's also a part of "No Personas / Everyone lives - nobody dies". But I can refine the big sweeping stuff later! Possible they're also in diff classes due to Butterfly Effect

Since it's a No Personas world, Makoto's parents live, possibly still a car crash to keep timeline mainly intact? But everyone survives.

Current time, Makoto works at Chagall as his main job, mainly to have spending money and get outta the house.

Kenji knows vaguely about Makoto, hasn't interacted with him much -- no one has -- but still recognizes him when he goes in one day to get the highest calorie custom coffee in existence to ease his pain over recent test scores (I strongly believe Kenji would have a trashy sweet tooth at times like these)

He doesn't wanna be Too Awkward, but they do go to school together, so he should be a bit casual right…?

Makoto just nods along, putting in his order, Kenji swears it's different than what he asked but. He's not about to correct the guy

Makoto gives him the drink. Yeah it's not at all what he ordered. Did he offend the guy? He decided to sit down and try it, in case it's awful…

It's dang good. Zones out just enjoying it until he's done. Gonna compliment the guy's skills on guessing drink taste, but looks like he's gone. Lunch break? It'd be weird to stick around.

So he comes back next day, less weird to thank him at work then to wait til they're back in school… right?

Makoto is there, good! "Hey, I wanted to just thank you for yesterday. That drink you gave me? Best thing I've had in awhile, can you make me that again?"

Makoto looks at him a bit confused, a bit blank. Oh yeah… Kenji's a stranger he's not gonna remember everyone who walks in here.

"I'm the one who ordered the [sweetest coffee you can possibly think of]. I'm guessing you don't like stuff like that cause you gave me something totally different. It was really good."

"Oh… that one. Sure, if you want. It's nothing special."

Kenji hasn't actually ever heard him talk before. Calm voice for a scary looking guy!

This then evolves into Kenji coming in way too often to get what he starts calling the "Yuki Special" (he only gets it when Makoto is there), and Kenji being Kenji starts wiggling himself into becoming Makoto's friend ("acquaintance" according to Makoto at first, if you asked)

Kenji tells anyone who asks that it's because the guy makes a mean coffee, and is actually a great conversationalist!… when he can get him to talk

No other possible reason! It's not odd in the slightest to only ever order one item from one person, it's because Makoto's the only one who can make it right

(he tried to get it from a different barista one time… didn't taste right)

They're unique guys so they just have a unique way of bonding. A one of a kind friendship!

If anyone asks Kenji why he's learning to make coffee as a hobby he will never admit it's to impress Makoto who seems to know all there is to know.

Makoto starts making the drink ahead of time and planning his breaks around when Kenji comes in, since Kenji wants to talk to him while he's there anyway.

Eventually Kenji plucks up the courage to ask him for his number - "so we can talk anytime! That way I don't always take up your break, how 'bout it?"

Makoto finds himself easily agreeing, surprisingly. They text a lot, much easier for Makoto than calling, though Makoto still takes his break when Kenji comes in.

One day Makoto makes the drink and plans everything ahead like usual. And Kenji doesn't come in. He shuffles a bit - what is he supposed to do…? He waits, keeps scanning, did he miss him come in? He's never done that before, Kenji's got a very unique presence.

After awhile boss makes him take his break, he brings the drink with him, no use wasting it. What did he do before this whole routine started again…?

Remembers he can contact Kenji… He tries to call… voicemail. Is it because he called? He's never called, he supposed. Sends off a text - are you ok?

Takes a sip of the drink. Yep, too sweet. He keeps drinking anyway, no point in wasting it

(Either Kenji studied way too hard and slept through his usual visit time, or he's sick, or got dragged off to karaoke something, but he's ok. No bad!!)

Aka I feel Makoto learning that he is getting attached and he's a person who feels things should be explored more

Whenever Kenji gets back to his text, assures he's ok! Sorry for not warning ahead of time. Makoto releases tension he didn't know he had, that's good. He's fine, sorry for trying to call out of the blue. Kenji assures him he can call anytime, it's what best friends do right?

Next day at school, Kenji finally tracks Makoto down, vaguely knows his schedule but wants to catch him before day ends (why doesn't this guy look at his texts before lunch??). Wants to apologize for making Makoto worry in person

He feels a bit awkward. They hang out, kinda, all the time right? They're friends, so it's not weird to approach him… he realizes that they've never hung out outside of Makoto's work, that explains it. He's gonna change that

So he sits with him at lunch naturally just like he'd do at the coffeeshop, and does just that. Apologizes for making him worry and invites him out to make up for it, he never sees Makoto around town anyway, it's a chance for them to have fun!

Makoto slightly surprised. Nobody had invited him out during high school. Maybe he even had a thought deep down that Kenji was only hanging out at work cause it was convenient, and he'd finally gotten bored. But he still agrees. He didn't have anything planned anyways. Best friends do fun stuff right…? He thinks they do, at least. It'd been a long time since he had a friend so involved in his life

Insert a long and fun montage of them trying to do everything, since Makoto says he hadn't really gone on an outing like this anywhere in years. They go to the arcade, Kenji is horrible at claw machines. Makoto wins a ton. Kenji beats him at the fighting games, Makoto dominates at the zappers.

They chill at karaoke, Makoto impresses Kenji so much he immediately drags him to the music store so Makoto can point out what music he recommends, buys several of them. End it off with eating so much Wilduck burger both vow to not come back for a long time.

Neither realize or even think about how a lotta people would perceive this as a date. They're both just having fun getting to do stuff with someone else, though Kenji may be ignoring how much his heart seizes up seeing every happy expression or soft blink Makoto gives him, new expressions he's not used to seeing - definitely not like this at least. And Makoto may not be bringing up just how much Kenji is looking at him when there's so much else to look at... and how he doesn't mind, all that much.

Discord message hit max characters for the 4th time and I didn't wanna type more then and there, this is already edited to add a bunch, but I'm sure I'll expand on this one!

---------------

Separated Family AU

The thoughts may be a bit scattered because @bakafurai chipped in a lot on this idea so I have to summarize / rewrite their thoughts

@Shadowfreak98 said Daisuke Nagase sometimes gives her the vibe of "could be related to Kenji, like an older brother. Well he can't be older but you get it, brothers" (< recalling best I can) Could I make the most nonsense idea that they're half brothers due to marriage / divorce?? Their personalities also contrast super interestingly There's so much room for ideas there, but it means more brain power

Daisuke would be around Kenji's sister's age, since Kenji mentions her starting high school next year, when he'll be a third year, so it lines up timeline wise. Possible Kenji's mom and dad separated before either was born, Kenji's dad possibly unaware she's pregnant. So Kenji's mom goes to Inaba to settle in a quiet place, while Kenji's dad stays and remarries. They have Kenji's sister shortly after

Kenji doesn't know Daisuke well at all. If they've ever met, it was only at a few small family gatherings, both probably more think of the other as a distant cousin, if at all. Daisuke in general is a guy who doesn't bring up private stuff unless he really thinks it'll help with something, and Kenji barely mentions his own little sister, so it's just never brought up. Who talks much about the equivalent of a mystery cousin??

Possibility for some interesting interactions during the Iwatodai trip. Kenji not able to leave the island after the events of P3, attached to this place too much. Maybe works at Hakegure. Kou and Daisuke go there to see if they're as good as Aiya... little bit of an awkward family reunion. Chance for Kenji to try and establish bonds, like Makoto showed them they're important and powerful (could be in a Kenjikoto "Makoto lives" au as well).

[sagencoffeebeeens]

Meet the witch tag?? ig??

So here goes, I striked-through some corrections and whanot but all of it is there, feel free to send an ask if you have any questions! Here's the link to the og post which I found on @knockaines 's blog uwu

Fair warning it’s LONG so like, open at ur own risk lmao

Link to questions is here ���︎

Do you use runes as a written language? I used to back in the day, but not so much nowadays!

Do you feel you have natural gifts such as (premonitions, and hearing spirits) and if so do you think this is what led you to this path? I believe my divination is a gift, it's just how it is and how I learned it.

What deity do you work with if any and why? Hades, Persephone and Hermes. I do like working with other gods on behalf of others and figuring out who is what (I call it deity telephone) so I end up invoking and briefly working with a bunch of gods, pretty cool!

Have you always worked with this same deity? I've worked with Hades since 2019, Persephone joined us in 2020 and Hermes in 2021! It's been wonderful working with them.

Do you use any personal items in your practice, (blood, semen, tears, urine, etc)? I don't, but I am not wholeheartedly against using them.

Do you do past life readings or have ever had one done; who were you or how did you die? I never really dwelled into it, but I know of one instance I saw in a dream before.

What is your favourite magical tool? Tarot and Oracle cards are my favourite!

What is a song or type of music that gets you into a witchy mood? Music that gives you power, I know that's super vague but that's how I explain it lol.

Where is the most magical place you have ever been? According to my mum, she's brought me to some kind of ritual with fairies when I was young, that must've been pretty coolio.

What animal is your familiar if any? - N/A

If you have a familiar, did you choose them or did they choose you? - N/A

What in the craft are you best at (tarot, spells, ritual,) etc? Definitely Divination!

What in the craft would you say you are weaker at? Ritual making or spellwork, I have a hard time following a recipe lol.

What is your most favourite part of your craft (spell writing, divination, etc)? I wanna say divination, but that'd be way repetitive, so I'm gonna go with worship? That aspect is pretty cool!

What was the first tool you ever purchased? Purchased, was a Tarot Deck I believe. Otherwise probably candles or something?

What was your first homemade tool for your practice? You're gonna think I'm annoying, but it was a tarot deck of only the major arcana!!! XD

What are your feelings on raising kids in the craft? I think that so long a child can consent and is aware of what they're taught and given the choice to pursue it, it's okay! Anything culty where there's no consent, awareness or general choice I think is absolutely wack tho!

If you were a goddess or god, who would you be? Anderou or Andras, god of a pantheon from Sorcèllerie, with aspects focusing on gender, kindness and divination.

Do you use astrology in your practice? In what ways? I have a great focus on astrology as a hobby actually! In my practice it's present in spellwork when it includes other people and symbolism!

What if any ways could you practice dark magic and still respect the beliefs of Wicca? Technically I think I'm a 'Death Witch' which goes into dark arts(?) and I do not follow the rede (heck I wrote my own version of it lol) but I personally do not believe in Light & Dark Magic dynamics.

Do you have any witches in your family? I consider my mum a witch in certain aspects and I believe my grandmother was yes a devout Christian but she also read tarot according to my mom so I don't know lol.

What item can you not witch without? I believe that a witch can do with the bare basics and even thin air if that's all they have access to. So nothing I cant say anything on this one!

What is your favourite sabbat festival or time of year ritual? I find Samhain and Yule really nice, but I have been trying to branch out into more greek rites and festivals that celebrate my patrons!

Have you ever had a YouTube burnout? I don't do videos so nope!

What is your fav witchy shop, and do they have an online store? Sadly my favourite store closed a few years ago... I do like one of my local shops in my area tho!

When buying witchy items, do they choose you or do you choose them? I tend to choose lol, however pendulums and things of the sort I try to see which one compliments my energy best!

How do you organize your herbs/ingredients? I'm not gonna lie, most of my herbs are in little pre-packaged boxes from the store and lil glass jars haha

Do you have an interest in other deities that you don’t work with; if so, which ones? Technically, the entirety of the Greek Pantheon is cool, but I wanna say Pop Culture deities seem pretty chill!

Do you have a fav time of day to do spell work; if so, why? Night-time, it's more quiet.

Are you solitary or do you work with a coven? Technically, I'm part of an online coven but I consider myself solitary IRL :))

If you could pick a certain witchcraft tradition that fits your practice most what would it be (Druid, Celtic, Wicca etc)? I guess greek shrines and temples are pretty coolio?

What was the most creative spell you have ever done? What did you use? The curse I did to my friend's ex, I used an old zucchini lol.

What do you prefer for divination (tarot, oracle, runes, etc) and why? I'm quite fond of tarot!

What are some ways you keep yourself grounded? Journalling and rational thoughts mostly!

Have you ever had a spell go horribly wrong? NOt yet! HOpelly none of my spells go haywire haha!

What are your opinions on initiation rituals? I think it has its time and place in certain practices? But initiatory rites that give off cult or sorority/frat vibes are absolutely wack lol. I would also veer off anything that has weird dynamics.

Have you ever had full contact with your deity; if so, what happened? Not yet, I assume it's something tho that's for sure!

What about you is un witchy? My use of modern technology I guess XD

For the dating witch, how do you tell a new love interest that you are a witch? I'm upfront about my practice, it's an aspect of me that I feel is important to share and it's my religion. I take no shit and if you don't feel comfy with me practicing that's your problem I'm just gonna leave haha :) Who is a past witch that has inspired you, famous or not? I can't say anyone really, except maybe my best friend who no longer practices but who gifted me her entire set of tools! <3 How do you handle rejection from a fellow witch that refuses to do a reading or spell for you? So far it's not happened, but I understand consent and I think unless it's a life or death situation I should be okay haha! Do you think it is necessary to cast a circle when you do spell work or any magical working? I like to do my own circle, out of habit. I don't think it's necessary but it's a nice thing to do in my opinion! I think my circle is probably more of a symbol of my power than protection haha If Steven Spielberg called and wanted to make a movie of your life, who would you want to play as you? NGL,,, I would want to play my own role lol there is one actress who I believe played arya stark who could play younger me though What is some advice that was given to you that you pass along because it made an impact on your path? There are no rules when it comes to personal practice, reclaim your power in the forms that it feels comfortable and just do what you wanna do in the measure of consent, respect and security! What is some advice you would give someone who has not found their diety? Sometimes it takes time, not everyone works with deities, don't rush it and if it happens, it does :))

Where do you buy your herbs? Esoteric shops or the grocery store lol--

How did you feel casting your first circle (silly, scared, stumbling, etc)? Powerful I believe, I felt very in touch from what I remember!

What was your first successful spell? I'm gonna be honest, I don't remember! Probably a playful jinx of something though XD What is your general practice for meditation? Journalling my feelings technically, otherwise I just focus on a yoga sesh!

Are you a day walker or a night comer? Daywalker, I love the night, but I also love the comfort of my bed lol

How and when did you know you wanted to be on this path? I think I always kinda knew? But if we wanna speak numbers I wanna say when I read my first book about witchcraft in 2012!

What type of witch are you (Pagan, Wiccan, eclectic, hedge, etc)? oh boy you're in for a spin-- I don't have a specific one-word term in English, but I do have one in french! It's "Sorcier". The full name is:

Solitary-Grey-Neo-Wiccan. But I also identify as a Hellenic Pagan, A Diviner and a chaos-death witch! (Sorcier just means male witch)

What candle colour do you use most? Currently, emerald, I bought a big pack of them at the thrift store lol

What area would you like to see your craft grow in? I'd like to see my worship get some growth!

What is your preference, to buy or make your tools? Generally buy, but it really depends on what's the tool!

What fictional witch book/screen inspired you the most? The Series "Witch" by Cate Tierman, (which I mentioned somewhere above!)

With your first spell were you alone or in a coven? I never really joined a coven-coven, although I take part in an online coven, so I was alone :))

What is your favourite candle, or incense scent for magical purposes? I'm a big fan of Patchouli and everything woodsy! But most of my spells use unscented candles and cedar(?) or cinnamon to cleanse! :))

Where is your favourite place to go to reconnect with nature? Any place outside, although there used to be a creek close to my hose where I go every once in a while! :))

Do you believe in fantasy creatures (unicorns, gnomes, elves, fairies, etc)? To an extent? I believe that some of these are spirits, that some are beings with otherworldly or alien forms and some I think are completely unphysical as far as our reality goes! I do believe in some cryptids tho

Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Yup, I'm assuming in this context we mean something that has died/passed on and has ties to our world still, yeah definitely.

Would you ever teach the craft? I wouldn't say I'm a mentor, but I've definitely taught before. It' something I take pride in when I do.

What if any legal herb do you use for moods? 🌿Mary Jane! Canada babey, it's legal here!!!

What is the most recent spell/ritual you have done? The most recent like full-on thing I've down would be a cord-cutting I did a couple months back?

Do you have a happy place you go to during meditation? Not really that I know of! 🤔

What is your favourite witchy book? I don't really have one tbh!

Do you have a ritual to get ready before a ritual or spell? Yes! I cast my own circle every time, it's a mental boundary that generally sits on the ground under me.

Do you always use your own spells or do you tweak others? Depends, I wanna say it's a mix of both most of the time! :))

Do you prefer spells/rituals inside or outside? I love doing them outside! However I rarely get to...

If you are coming from a Christian/catholic background. Did you find the transition hard with family and the whole going to Hell thing? Basically leaving all you've been told was right? - N/A

What are your totem animals? - N/A

What are some things you reuse after spells/ritual work? Jars, Ribbons, Crystals, and sometimes offerings, depending on the situation.

Who helped you most when you started on your path? My best friend gave me motivation, and books really helped too UWU...

Do you know any good witchy phone apps (like moon phases)? #Self Care, Labyrinthos, apparently there's also Moonly!

What is your favourite magical study? Asssocitaion research!

Outside of the YouTube and Facebook community, do you have a lot of witchy friends in the physical world? No sadly only a handful, but some friends have started to practice which I find pretty cool!

Do you feel that the deities we work with are a force from one higher power and that all beliefs and religions are from the same one God/place? I think they're sperate per se! I kinda vibe with the egg theory for every thing human but I consider gods separate from us, but their energy works the same way ours does just on another scale, ie we are the same because we are all atoms, so theres probably every entity ever and theyre part one and part another, it's complicated but I'm not paid to figure this out lol

[surrealsunday]

Okay, sorry for that, it is waaaaay longer than I expected. Guess I had a lot to say on the events of this chapter

- The scene between Lucas and Mika is so cute and so well written. I love that Lucas is fishing some information and I love that Mika is providing so willingly. I’d have loved to see this in the show to be honest. And I have to say, I’m so proud of Punzel ! Lucas for being this mature. I’m digging it !

- I don’t know what to think about Chris. I’m the anon who was kind of worried about him last week and boy, you’re a mystery for me. He clearly likes Lucas and gave up of the idea to make any sort of move on Lucas a long time ago (I LOVED the way he explained that to Lucas 1. Dude, I’m scared for my life, Eliott will definitely kill me if I do something 2. Boy, you’re so in love with Eliott, whatever might happen between us is a lost cause) So yeah, he likes Lucas, but he knows he can’t have him, but hey, let’s try this we never know. Recipe for disaster, man. So I don’t know if he’s trying to piss off Eliott, try to have a chance with Lucas or to give a little push to Lucas in the right direction (i.e. Eliott) or just something else we don’t know about (yes, clearly I’ve spent too much time thinking about it). As I said, mystery.

- Dear Quentin, you really seem to be a nice guy (dare to say too much of a nice guy ?) Run from this as fast as you can… you don’t want to be in the middle of this. Trust me.

- I LOVED the flashback scene. So much context, from Eliott and Lucille (as we kind of understand it was a rough time for Lucas and Eliott – we begin to understand a little more of that) to the coming out scene with Yann which was so soft and cute and comforting (and a nice change from the move Yann pulled off on the show)

- Yeah, so let’s talk about the sex scene. First of all : Lucas, dear boy welcome to a new world. From the looks of it, you seemed to enjoyed it ! Then, Eliott, baby stop trying NOT to be in love because everything you do, say or don’t say is a BIG GIANT SIGN. And yes Lucas, I guarantee you that morning after, when you’re going to wake up naked is the same bed, IS going to be a defining moment. Fight or flight kind of moment. I’m a big fan for the morning after scenes, so I will wait patiently for it next week !

Thanks for this chapter, it was perfect, everything I was hoping for and more ! The best day of the week is now Friday waiting your update ! Have a great week !

Don't apologize for long comments - I love!!!

Honestly I would have loved to see that Mika and Lucas kind of scene (obviously less explicit lol) in the show too. Mika was not my fave in the show (he grew on me but still...) so I sort of like living out how I would have liked their relationship to be and for scenes to play out in fic - while still trying to stay true to both of their characters (and Mika's overall ridiculousness). I'm so glad you liked it!

Your questions about Chris are fair enough. Chris and Eliott are the kind of friends who were friends by circumstance (i.e. you're in the same classes, kinda roll with the same crowd, so you become 'friends') who became more like frenemies because of Lucas (not as in Lucas is at fault, but because Lucas became a conflict between them). It won't ever get too deep because I wanted to sort of stay true to some of the more superficial and dumb 'dude bro' friendships. But I do think you'll have a pretty good feel for Chris by the end of the fic.

I grappled with that flashback a bit because Eliott's pov is sort of important in it but you don't have that at all. So I decided to commit to focusing on Lucas. It's about his moment anyways and I wanted that coming out scene to be poignant and to be with Yann. A little more context on how Eliott was feeling will come in the next chapter actually.

"Eliott, baby stop trying NOT to be in love because everything you do, say or don’t say is a BIG GIANT SIGN." LOLLLLL 😂 it's so true. RIP Eliott. The morning after scene will indeed be a significant one in many ways. Because as much as the sex changed things (or redefined things) between them, it's really how they react afterwards that decides where they go from here 😌.

Thank you so much for your comments! I'm so glad you enjoyed! ❤️❤️❤️

[lalka-laski]

Have you ever been served breakfast in bed? By my mom when I was sick and stuff What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? Brie-stuffed hasselback potatoes. They came out terrible because the potatoes I used were WAY too large for the recipe. Are you one to approach others, or let them approach you first? Definitely one to be approached When was the last time you took painkillers? Few hours ago Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else’s garden without asking? Nope

Who did you give them to, or did you keep them for yourself? – What is your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Read, write stories, and do crafts. Most of the same hobbies I enjoy to this day Are holidays as fun for you now as they were when you were younger? Ugh. I don't want to think about the holidays this year Do you find non-fiction to be boring? That's a crazy question. "Non-fiction" is the broadest term imaginable! If you find non-fiction boring then you're admitting that you have not one single interest in life lol Are you a punctual person? Or are you always late? Always on time or early Do you own a thesaurus? Do you actually use it? Nope, I frequently use thesaurus.com though What is the longest essay or research paper you have written? I honestly can't remember Do you ever write your own short stories? Yeah, and I really wish I could get back into it Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? Nope Have you ever lost something very valuable? Probably at some point along the way Have you ever lost something with a lot of sentimental value? Yes Have you ever been close to drowning? Thank God no Have you ever had a panic attack? Yep, and I imagine many more are in my future these next coming weeks What stores do you go into when you go to mall? I haven't been to the mall in ages so I can hardly remember what stores I used to like Do you ever stop to eat in the food court? Yeah, that's my fave Do you find it easy to relate to other people? I'd say so. I'm a Type 4 and an empath so I'm always looking for common ground Who is your favorite philosopher? I don’t have one What is your favorite song to sing? I have many Do you consciously try to be unique, or do you just be you? Ha. As I said above, I'm a Type 4 so I always aim to set myself apart Do you worry about being judged by other people? Yeah, but always in the wrong ways If someone doesn’t like you, do you usually want to know the reason? Maaaaybe When was the last time you told someone something really important? I've had a lot of heavy conversations lately Have you ever lost a large amount of money? Yes! I still have no idea where a large chunk of cash went after my school trip. I had it on the bus home so my best guess is that one of my classmates stole it. Have you ever tried to blame something you did on someone else? I grew up with two sisters so I mean... of course Did that person get in trouble, or did the plan fail? It varied What is the weirdest hairstyle you have ever had? I've never been that adventurous with my look Describe the ugliest pair of shoes you own? Umm How many times a day do you look in the mirror? For how long? I try not to these days Are you ashamed to leave the house when not looking your best? I should care more but I just can't be bothered What is your favorite singer? David Bowie

If you could relive one day from last year, what day would it be? Why? My engagement day, probably What is something that you are afraid to fail at? My relationship with Glenn What would happen if you did fail at it? I don't need to be dramatic but I'd just fucking die. Or at the very least I'd be a shell of a person. Do you ever worry about your loved ones dying? Yes... Stuffed animals–immature, or should everyone have one? I have many. But I'm a sentimental sap, so... What do you like in your breakfast burritos? I don't really eat them but I imagine I'd probably just like egg and cheese, maybe some veggies? What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? Diner food over everythiiiiiing How much money do you think you cost your parents? What? Like total? Who knows Can you do a flip on a trampoline? Nope Do you remember the last time you climbed a tree? Also nope Did you ever lie on your back and pick shapes out of clouds as a kid? I loved doing that Do you watch any Japanese anime? Nope but Glenn does so I end up watching a lot by extension Do you let your emotions get the best of you in a fight? My emotions get the best of me no matter what, in any situation Do you know anyone who’s reputation has recently been ruined? I want to say my own... When did you first get a cellphone? 15 I think? Do you have your own laptop computer? Yep I'm on it now Do you drive your own car, or your parents? I don’t drive at all

Say something inappropriate? Lol what? What were you doing before you started taking this survey? I just threw some laundry in the washing machine Describe the best summer you ever had? The summer before college was pretty legendary. It just felt exactly like what that monumental summer SHOULD feel like, ya know? Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I didn't eat any meat period Did you attend a pre-school? Yep Do you remember what it was like to learn to count to 100? Um nope What is something you lost in the process of growing up? Motivation Do you wear any wristbands? If so, what’s on them? Nope What was the last picture you were in? Me and Sarah at Emo Night last week Did you have required reading material in high-school? Yep Do you keep your room organized? Yes, always Do you vacuum daily? No, there's no need for that How many board games do you own? A few. I wish I owned more Own any books? Hundreds Recently checked any books out from the library? No, I'm weird about library books Does your cat give you kitty kisses? I don’t have a cat Whats in your make-up bags? A whole hodge podge of shit

[lululawrence]

Hey! I'm the nonnie who asked about the Zouis and Lilo fics! :) thank you so much for answering, it'd be so great if you could rec some of the fics you have saved, I'd appreciate that! I actually can't quite remember the name of the Zouis fic I've read recently, it was about Zayn moving back to Louis because he broke up with his boyfriend and needed some comfort from his best friend. There doesn't really happen anything between them romantically, it's just hinting at it. Thanks again!! :)

yay!! i’m glad you came! gotta love rare pairs hehe

so it sounds like the one you read is the one that i’ve got at the top of this month’s fic list! wasn’t it amazing?? i loved it so much! @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed was the author of it (driving down a one way road (to something better) by we_are_the_same for those who want to look it up, i highly recommend it) and i thoroughly enjoyed it, so i’m glad you did too!

okay so i’m going to do the rec by pairing, the first one will be zouis and then i’ll do lilo. my one caveat is that i haven’t read all of these, BUT the ones i haven’t are now on my to read list since i’ve found them lollll i’m actually really really excited for some of these lilo ones i haven’t read.

i also wanted to give a shout out to @missytearex as well as her side blog @1drarepairfics! she’s on hiatus right now, but her tagging system is AMAZING and it’s because of her that i found most of these that i haven’t had the chance to read yet. if you have already read most of what i rec OR work your way through this list, then defo give her blogs a try and see what you can find there! okay! 

here we go, let’s have some fun!

Zouis

Unplanned Circumstances by @haztobegood / haztobegood (9k, Secret Agent Zayn, MPreg Louis, One Night Stand, Part 1! I can’t wait for part 2 lollll, written for @wallsficfest)

When We Hold On (To the Past) by @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld (4k, Fallen Angels, I haven’t read this one yet but Nic is amazing and thus I’m reccing all her Zouis fics hehe, written for @wordplayfics)

Fistiana by @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld (2k, Undercover Bare Knuckle Boxing, she also tagged this homoeroticism and who isn’t here for that??)

sort of like that disney movie the 13th year by kingsoftheimpossible (2k, mermaids!!!, that’s legit all i know about this one, @londonfoginacup recced it though so you know it’s good hehe)

I Wanna Dance With Somebody by @fallinglikethis / FallingLikeThis (3k, DJ Zayn, Groomsman Louis, I think, lollll I haven’t read this one either but Tabby’s fics are incredible always)

Make Up Your Heart by @fallinglikethis​ / FallingLikeThis (4k, Canon Compliant, ANGST, sad Louis, Reconciliation, promise it’s a happy ending hehe)

Sugar, Yes Please by @fallinglikethis​ / FallingLikeThis (3k, Fake Relationship, Craigslist, Wedding AU)

Tin Roof Series by @uhohmorshedios / yeah_alright (300, this is a two part series that was written for @wordplayfics and it’s so short but I LOVE IT SO MUCH, she packs so much into those words)

Lilo

Those Hometown Lights by @louandhazaf​ / YesIsAWorld (3k, friends to lovers, Skype Sex, written for Wankfest, this was so good omg)

I Got the Recipe (And It’s Called Black Magic) by @fallinglikethis​ / FallingLikeThis (10k, Famous/Non-Famous, magic, Pop Star Liam, sad Louis, this fic sounds so amazing lolll)

all pressed up in black and white by @mybfhas27tattoos / HazHas4Nips (15k, friends to lovers, lawyer Liam, journalist Louis, this was one of those fics written for @1drarepairfest that I meant to read and never got to, but now I have remembered I defo need to)

emergence (or, the process of coming into view) by @alakeeffectgirl / Lake (beyond_belief) (27k, written for @onedirectionbigbang round 2, Space Fic, Future Fic, Liam is a botanist on the space station, I’m not sure what Louis does haha, This is another one of those fics where I’m like how... did I miss this?)

Smile Again by @mistresscurvy / mistresscurvy (17k, Holidays, Fake Relationship, Misunderstandings, is there really anything else you need? lol)

i’m never gonna fall (but i’m never hard to catch) by @lovedyouless / carissima (5k, Accidental relationship, everything you need to know is the first line from the summary: TFLN: we were supposed to fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years)

don’t you hear me howling by @foxesmouth / theamazingpeterparker (orphan_account) (14k, Childhood Friends, University, Werewolf Louis, Human Liam, I’M SOLD dunno about you lol)

Second Time’s the Charm by sunshineflying (21k, written for @1dbigbang round 3, University, based on the YouTube “Strangers Kissing” video, I’m so excited because I love that video and so many fics that came from it have been great)

Which One Of Us Is Caving by @apayneinthearse / wasp (19k, Boss Liam, Snarky Assistant Louis, this was described as SLOW BURN and I am here for that hehe)

And that’s it! I do also have two honorable mentions to finish with, though hehe @louandhazaf did a “kisses” challenge and every chapter posted is a different kind of kiss with loads of pairings, and there are Zouis as well as Lilo in there! That’s titled And Let Me Kiss You and they are short and sweet and I highly recommend them. I also did some Drabbles for Harry's Birthday Drive 2019 and one was Zouis, so if you’re interested you can check that out too :D

I hope you like these and that there’s some new ones you hadn’t seen before! Happy reading!

[kirishwima]

seeing as you are still up for requests... could I get the boys reactions to finding out MC retricts food & shows signs of an eating disorder (undiagnosed but this kind of behavior has been going on for several years). It's perfectly fine if you don't want to write it, if you're uncomfortable with that topic! I don't want to pressure you into anything and I'm glad for the content you've written so far either way

hey! i don’t mind, i’ve dealt with ednos for years and it’s not something that ever fully goes away, but i feel that talking about it and being open is something that really helps.this is triggering content however, so please be warned, and don’t read it if hearing about eating disorders and behaviors triggers you! 

YOOSUNG:

* This boy loves to cook. Loves it! He’s always been looking forward to cooking for his future partner, isnisting he’ll always add a dash of love in every meal.

* So when he sees how little MC eats of his home-cooked meals he feels...disappointed, to say the least. Is it because they don’t like his cooking? They find it too salty? Too spicy?

* He’s too embarassed to ask at first, but after trying out different recipes and still seeing the same response from MC, he asks them about it.

* They just insist they don’t eat much in general, but that they tend to have a lot of snacks throughout the day and that that’s the reason why. Yoosung doesn’t really question it, since it’s true that he’s not with MC 24/7-it’s completely logical that they could be eating whilst he’s not home and being too full by the time he comes back to eat a full meal with him.

* Yet...something doesn’t add up. Even though MC insists they’re constantly snacking, there’s never anything missing from the cupboards, and at night they always insist they can’t eat any more-yet after looking closely at their patterns for a whole day, he swears he barely saw them eat much of anything!

* Eventually he gets worried and sits MC down to properly talk to them about it. He says how much it scares him to see them like this, and how he can see the impact this dietary lifestyle has on their health-how they seem tired and dizzy far too often, and how much it can impact their mental health too.

* He doesn’t expect MC to breakdown when he talks about it all-but seeing them explain through tears to him that they realise this behavior is wrong, but it’s something they’ve been doing for years and have no control over breaks him. He had no idea MC was struggling so much, even thoug they’ve been living under the same roof...

* He hugs them tight, kissing the top of their head as he promises he’ll help them work on it. He has no clue how, and has to ask for a lot of help from the RFA to find a good therapist for MC, but from then on he’s always sitting with them through meals, helping them slowly increase their portion size and distracting them when they get too anxious over what they’re eating. He’ll help them fight through this, together.

ZEN:

* He’s honestly always home late, and whenever he asks if MC already had dinner, the answer’s always yes.

* Yet, when he goes to the fridge to grab some leftover food to eat too, he notices there’s always far too much for MC to have also eaten-not unless they made a triple portion, which he doubts.

* When he asks them about it, MC insists they just made too much food. Soon after though, he notices that the portions do indeed decrease, and that it seems like they did eat-pies would be cut and a piece would be missing, or cutlery would be left in the dishwasher to be cleaned the next morning.

* Yet something nagged at Zen. Call it a premonition if you will, but he simply knew something was bothering his beloved, and he felt that their troubles and the food in the fridge had something to do with one another.

* He’d notice their nervous habit of gripping their collarbone between their thumb and index finger, how they’d stare at the mirror often and trail their hands down their sides with a frown-he tried to sneak up on them each time, wrap his arms around their waist and give them a kiss on the crook of their neck, reminding them how beautiful they look, but he’d be always met with a roll of the eyes or a huff, MC genlty pushing him off of them as they swtiched back to their normal self.

* The last straw came when one morning he asked MC if they wanted to jog with him-they said yes, and yet as soon as they neared the park and prepared to run, he turnt to say something to MC only to find them falling to the floor, squatting down with their head resting on their knees as they took deep labored breaths.

* Zen immediatly picked them up, taking them to a bench to sit on so he could take a proper look at them, notice the paleness of their skin and the sheen of sweat on their forehead from the hot summer air. He gave them some water yet they still shook, their colour turning an almost sickly green. 

* He was about to call the hospital when MC stopped him with a shaky hand, telling him that it’s their sugar levels acting up. With a confused frown, Zen dashed to the convinience store across the street, getting a dozen bars of chocolate and a sugary drink and running back to MC, opening the drink for them and forcing them to drink a few gulps of it.

* When they settled down and seemed better, Zen was furious. But more than that he was worried. What happened? This isn’t normal, did they not eat anything?!

* MC gulped down their anxiety and came clean to Zen-told him about their eating habits, how they kept torturing themselves with a constant need of control, how they’d skip meals and over-work themselves with exercise. 

* Zen’s heart broke. His MC was going through this all? And he never noticed? 

* He swore to help them get through it. He tried to be there for every meal, calling them if not, and tried to show them how fun a correct healthy lifestyle can be. He’d reming them of how much he loved them the way they are everyday, and will never stop telling them so until they start to believe it themselves.

JUMIN:

* He of course learns about it as soon as the chef informs him that MC is either refusing meals or asking him to not cook them at all.

* He’ll waste no time in talking to MC about it, reminding them how important a healthy lifestyle is, and how he can take them to meet his nutritionist for a custom-made meal plan tailored to them and their needs.

* To say he was not expecting MC to break down at that is...an understatement lol. He’s immediatly by their side, holding them close to his chest as they cry and explain how it’s not a matter of meal plans or lifestyle-it’s something out of their control, how getting food in them terrifies them, how they know it’s not right or healthy but there’s this sick sense of power from controlling their hunger in this way.

* Jumin isn’t able to process all of that right away-instead he’ll sit MC down on the couch, his hands wrapped around them as he asks why they’d need to have this control they insist they need over their body. 

* “My love, you’re wonderful the way you are, and I fell in love with your mind, bosy and soul. It hurts to even think that you don’t see the beauty that’s in you. However, this is more than just a worry over your appearance, not when you mention how you need to feel this ‘control’ as you say. This sounds far deeper...I think it’d be best to seek out professional help about it. What do you say?”

* He’ll find the best therapist with a specialty on eating disorders for MC to have sessions with, and he himself will sit down with a nutritionist and learn all there is to know about how to help MC recover-how eating frequent small portions helps, how they can start slowly introducing foods they’ve been labelling as ‘bad’ into their diet for variety, and so on. He’d then transfer this ifnormation to their chef, and make sure MC receives each and every one of those meals.

* He’d make absoloutely sure to be with them for at least three meals a day. He’d refuse to leave for work until they have breakfast together, would visit MC at their workplace or ask them to join him at the office for lunch, and have dinner with them back at home, messaging them frequently to remind them to have snacks inbetween meals.

* He’ll never stop reminding them of how much he loves them, and about the amazing things their body can do, quoting facts he heard from doctors and the internet. Hel’ll make damn sure MC knows just how amazing they are, no matter what. 

SEVEN:

* This boy...he has such a shitty lifestyle lmao

* He’ll forget to eat so often, and his diet pretty much consists of junk food and soda, yet thanks to the work out he gets from missions, this dude always looks fit, and MC...they love him, but it hurts to always be comparing themselves and the amount of food they eat to their boyfriend.

* It’s a secret competition-they try and find out Seven’s eating patterns, how much he’s eaten in a day and what, and force themselves to eat less than that, no matter what

* Well, no matter how busy Seven may be, he’s always looking out for his dear MC, so it doesn’t take too long for him to realise just what they’re up to

* He’s heartbroken, and initirally thinks he might be the cause of it-has he made MC this way? Have his habits made MC think they should follow suit?

* He’ll sit them down and talk with them, ask what’s up, why they’re doing this to themselves-he might come off as agressive at first, but that’s simply how he shows his extreme concern.

* When MC explans their situation, and what they’ve been doing, Seven is conflicted. He hates that they feel this way about themselves, and hates himself even more for giving MC a bad example to follow. He’s also unsure of what exactly he can do to help.

* He cusps MC’s face between his hands and vows to help them get better, and promises he’ll also fix his bad eating habits, so that they can get better together

* Once Seven makes a promise, he means it

* He’ll immediatly throw out all of the Honey Buddha Chips in the house, much to Yoosung’s dismay, and hold MC’s hand tight in his as they go grocery shopping for healthy meals and snacks to replace HBD. He’ll look online for therapists MC can visit and discuss pros and cons with them, and he’ll even contact nutritionists to help him out.

* He’ll never miss meal times ever again. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, no matter how busy he is, he’ll be there with MC so they can eat together, and he’ll wait as long as it takes for them to finish their meal too.

* He’ll never let them hurt themself ever again.

V/JIHYUN:

* He loves MC very very much, but he’s also...a little daft when it comes to such matters.

* He genially doesn’t realise what MC has been doing, since with work and all he’s often abroad for a few days at a time, and MC always says they’ve eaten when he asks

* He does notice some weird habits MC has-how they constantly seem to be poking at themself, as if feeling for something beneath their skin, how they flinch when he tries to hug them, how they drink a lot of water and tea and coffee and never seem to want any snacks with their evening tea or anything of the sort.

* V only puts two and two together when, whilst cleaning the kitchen cupboards, he finds a box full of bottles with diet pills and metabolism boosters, most of which were half-empty.

* He’s shocked and confused-how long had MC been taking this? Was this the reason he rarely saw them eat? Has he done something to accidentantly encourage this behavior?

* He loves them so much and finds them beautiful as they are, do they not see themself the same way?

* Before talking with MC about it, he contacts his own therapist first, telling him about his findings and how worried he is for his S/O. His therapist gives him some important information on eating diisorders that V wouldn’t have thought of otherwise-how it’s never just about weight and appearance, how it might not even be simply restricting, how just telling MC to eat healthier might not help at all.

* With new information at hand, V takes MC out to a park where they can sit together in the quiet summer afternoon and watch the sun set. There he takes a hold of their hand and tells them how much he loves them, and how he never wants to see them suffer, and that he’s noticed behaviors that worry him and make him think it’d be best for MC to seek professional help.

* He’ll be gentle and discreet, and allow MC to slowly tell him all there is to say about their eating disorder and habits, he’ll let them cry on his shoulder and even cry with them, unable to see them in pain, and vow to help in any way he can.

* He introduces them to his own therapist, who in turn refers MC to an eating disorders specialist, and V is there for them after every session, holding them tight and giving them all the encouragement he can.

* He’ll never miss meal times, and when he’s abroad he’ll videocall MC to make sure they’ve eaten at least something, and he’ll send them encouraging messages throughout the day

* He just wants them to be their best, healthiest self, and he’ll be there for them through it all

hi, your local med student and fellow mentally ill aunty here, to remind you that if you’re suffering from a menal illness and/or eating disorder, please don’t be afraid to seek professional help! no matter what your brain tells you, you’re always worthy of help and you should never be afraid of asking for it-you deserve a good quality of life, always! 

-send me a mystic messenger headcanon/scenario for the characters to react to!-

[the-genderfluid-chameleon]

A 2019 Witchy Wishlist

I've never participated in this before but I figure I don't really have anything to lose.

Lemme know if I'm doing this wrong lol.

For personal info DM me or ask, but my name is Tessa, I prefer to go by Cyrus and live in Canada. Honestly I'm just hoping people have good years.

⭐ Anything crystal related. (I do rockhounding and make jewelry out of some of my collection pieces).

⭐ TEETH pls don't freak out. I collect teeth, human & animal but humanely!!! They have to have come out on their own.

⭐ Anything to do with your culture/craft. I love to learn and being able to learn a bit about the sender is beautiful 💛

⭐ A hand written letter. You can write a poem, a letter, the clapback you thought of for that fight but it was already over, whatever you want.

⭐ Some seriously positive energy & vibes. I got fired this year the day before my birthday and although I'm okay, I know it's only bc I had to console my mother and CL as they became enraged by the event.

⭐ Some witchy playlists OR mood boards for male identifying/presenting peeps.

⭐ Drawings/Paintings/Art! I love all kinds artwork, I don't care "how good" you are at doing it. You made something, that's amazing! 😄

⭐ Recipes!! I'm not exactly a great cook but I'll try my best and with food, I'll try anything once.

⭐ Anything Death related. I've always had an add fascination with death. Mum said I talked to and saw angels until I was 10 or so. I know I saw at least one demon.

⭐ Anything reptile related. I've always had lizards and one day when I have the space will happily have a snake, but I've also kept amphibians as well.

⭐ Anything bird related. I have had cockatiels most my life and my mom has raised over 300 birds and parrots of all kinds. So we love tips and ideas for what we can do for them and give them.

⭐ Coffee & Tea blends. I have to have a drink every day lol tell me your favourite mixes or brands, do you grow any plants for tea?

⭐ BOOKS/reading/research material! I need to make sure I'm always reading something. Send me links to your fave books, comics, tell me the amazing treasures you find in the dusty corners of antique shops or bookstores.

Just because I feel the need to say this:

DO NOT FEEL OBLIGATED TO BUY/SEND ME ANYTHING.

💛 All I need is good vibes and knowing you are doing good 💛

[scuttle-buttle]

Mi querida Bee:

Yesterday I spent more hours than I wanted at the airport trying to solve the problem with my ticket, but at least that crisis was resolved so I'm writing to you before having to board to return home.

One of my aunts came to dinner all of the sudden last night while i was cooking and I don't know about you but I don't want an Italian woman who has prepared more family meals than years accumulated between you and me to judge my food so I might have panicked over that 😅 though everything It went well and the ultimate validation was that she asked me for my garlic bread recipe and now I know I can die in peace lol

At night it was my older sister's turn to choose the movie, who of course chose p&p only to get revenge on me because I didn't want to see it together that time I got sick 🙄

This morning I got up early and went to the boardwalk with my younger sister, we made ourselves cinnamon tea and we walked the two blocks there with our mugs in hand 😂 my other sister joined us later and then my mom who was coming back from her boyfriend's house saw us from the car and stayed there with us, old memories came back, my sister brought back the one of "Do you remember that here is where you drowned? And I was like: why do you think I never learned to swim? 🤦🏻‍♂️

We did not do much more than take a last walk around the city, we were dragged towards the church of the saint for which they gave me my name (the whole thing was weird but we were like okay mom wewilldothisforyou 😶) and during the afternoon we spent time together we tried not to succumb to the obvious sadness that caused us all to say goodbye again but some things are impossible to avoid (in short, yes everyone cried again lol) but oh well...

I am slightly (and by slightly I mean a lot) consumed by nostalgia, looking forward to the next few days to resolve my mixed feelings. I guess the bright side of going home is seeing my dog ​​again 😢🐕

write me if you can, something to read when i come home

Escríbeme, con tinta de violetas en un papel de amor, color ausencia. Escríbeme poniendo en cada trazo, la fiebre de tu pulso. Que se me vuelve abrazo y es un abrazo tuyo.

but also no pressure 😅

🔥-N

Cara mia Bee 💞 see you soon, hopefully this time only two hours apart

I dont have any relatives that cook well enough for me to be in that situation. If anything I'm one of the better cooks, I'm just lazy and don't like people. But I'm glad your aunt enjoyed the garlic bread. I'm a slut for it myself and had some the other day.

I don't come from a sentimental family. When I was home my dad was getting nostalgic and upset about things towards me and his past and success as a parent and I just got really uncomfortable about it all... but I have issues and my father and I don't have the best relationship so it is what it is. Anyway.

The year I developed my coffee addiction in university was during a semester that I had 2 morning classes with the same professor but with only 45 minutes between the two sessions. Not long enough to do anything substantial so I'd find myself spending money on coffee. I started using my own coffee machine to save money and would literally carry a mug of coffee across campus to class with me. It was a purple cup with a cat and it said "frankly my dear I don't give a damn". I thought I was some cool kid. I was not. But, as the mug said, I couldn't give a damn 🤷🏼‍♀️

I've also been sick the last two days because of the medication they put me on this week. Had to leave work early on Wednesday and took off today. It's annoying but I'm maybe starting to feel a bit better. I'm a mess. It's fine. Sadly I don't think my letter is written on paper of violet; it's more an unforgiving and dull grey.

My attempt to fight your poetry with more poetry ^

[fuckimrowan]

Ice cream totally counts as a food I think XD

Naan is amazing, 100% agreed - I eat naan with dal sometimes and it's really good, esp with homemade naan imo

My top fav food would probably have to be cottage pie, mainly my grandma's recipe

Hmmm... what's your favourite book?

- 👑

omg yes, naan with dal is awesome ngl

and nice, i've never had cottage pie but it seems pretty cool! maybe i'll try a veg version of it one day :>

oh, favourite book... that's a hard one lol.

i'm gonna go by the quality of writing, actually, instead of how much i'm invested in the fandoms, because otherwise it'd be an impossible way to choose XD

soo, i think i'll have to say "muse of nightmares" by laini taylor ~ sequel to "strange the dreamer"

it's not a famous book compared to some others like percy jackson, but the book's writing is just so. good. and the plot twists are the absolute best. one part of the book, [i won't specify because that'll be a spoiler] actually had be crying for 10 minutes straight, so yeah, definitely the feels- either that, or i'm overly emotional 👀

if you're looking for a new book to read, i would recommend those two (there is quite a lot of romance, graphic making out scenes, strongly implied sex and those sort of references- personally, i don't have much a problem with those, but yeah, just thought to give u a heads up)

after that, probably "scythe," book 1 in this series "the arc of a scythe"- i haven't read the rest of the books yet, but its just a really well-written book in general

--

so yeah! what about you; do you have any favourite(s)?