#i have never played a Zelda game and i dont really intend to

[lemonlimetoast]

I am not immune to wishing I looked like Link from legend of zelda

[beesmygod]

So TotK seems to be clicking where BotW wasn't. Any insight on what the key differences are that work for you?

note: i played botw up until the calamity ganon fight and then went "yeah ok ive played a zelda game before", put it down and never went back. didnt play the dlc

i dont think anyone would be surprised to know that im a "majoras mask was the best zelda" guy but the reason has little to do with the "darker tone" or the lore but because reusing assets allowed the dev team to greatly (GREATLY in this case holy shit) expand on the actual contents of the game itself. i love gold/silver best for the same reason.

botw is like running around an empty movie set. theres nothing in that fucking game. at the time, due to the proliferation of crafting mechanics infesting literally every AAA game, it felt like nintendo was more focused about hitting all the checks on a checklist of tired mechanics that were included just for the sake of saying they had it. crafting! weapon durability! open world! pbbbbt.

none of these things proved to be enjoyable to me. keeping in mind that ive been playing zeldas since the snes (skipping only a handful of handheld games), the changes felt like steps away from what makes zelda games unique. crafting felt like an arbitrary step between me and potions. i wanted to swing my master sword with power, not experiment with clumsy weapons that stop existing after i finally get a feel for them. and the open world, frankly sucked.

mm rewarded me for my curiosity. experimentation and exploration would lead to interesting or gratifying results (did you know theres a paper airplane in ikana canyon...). botw is like playing in the window xp background. theres barely any landmarks, except shrines, or anything to do outside of getting the yiga clan's ass. theyre easy to pick out because theyre literally the only people on the road. the world is put to waste; i cant play with it, i can just observe and be extremely artificially hindered by its vastness.

this doesnt really fit anywhere else in the above open world rant, but trading the shrines for small and sparce dungeons was a huge let down. i was hoping for a series of cohesive puzzles intended to help my mastery of my newest weapon or ability. you know. like a zelda game

totk fixed this and every other problem in the best way possible; the devs dumped a ton of toys into my playpen, gave me a hot glue gun, and told me to go buck wild. i love to build a horrible contraption to solve my stupid problems or kill me instantly. i love that experimenting with weapons involves actual experimentation if you desire or you can have an inventory exclusively full of spear type weapons with vastly different properties by gluing a bunch of rocks or monster parts to it. but most importantly....the "stock up->head out->explore->return" loop no longer feels like i have to go to the dmv over and over.

sure, the depths are artificially large in the way that the map in botw was; theres not a lot to do except reveal the map and do plot stuff. but the overworld was given a complete overhaul using the empty map as a starting point. theres actually stuff to look at, ruins to explore, caves to investigate, holes to jump into, and all that shit in the sky to explore. the sky map might be sparse but its meticulously crafted so that just the process of explorating the archipelagos feels like a puzzle you need to solve, as opposed to a hurdle you have to jump.

there is so much more to do in totk that im pretty sure im over 20 hours in and havent done any of the regional main quests. ive been running around picking up side quests, uncovering the map, exploring the depths, fucking around in the sky, and dying my clothes. but its not annoying or overwhelming. it feels more alive and less like a weird map in an abandoned gmod server. im having fun.

for crit: imo, one of the biggest criticisms i have for both these games is that the voice acting is horrendous. nintendo has too much money to be tapping people who sound like they just got out of the shenmue soundbooth. zelda was not improved by voice acting and they should probably go back to everyone just having short exclamations like "HEH HEEH!" or "hmmm...".

also link doesnt roll anymore and its really fucking me up. im really struggling here lol. i keep trying to do dark souls shit and every fight involves me accidentally zooming in with the sheikah slate instead of locking on, hitting l1 istead of shield, and whistling for my horse instead of drinking estus.

also nerf rain

[waywardsalt]

ok since tears of the kingdom is coming out like. insanely soon i figured i’ll just dump how i’ve been feeling abt it here. i wont tag for them and i dont intend to share any but because i have been actively seeking out spoilers i will vaguely reference them here so… idk really long musings on this game and my feelings abt it

(im just writing this out mostly for myself since i really kind of just. want to really figure out how i feel about this)

i… am not excited for totk?

i’ve figured out a bit ago that my severely waning interest in botw and general anxiety and discontent surrounding totk is just that… these games arent for me. i dont enjoy open world games with half a million things for you to do like it’s basically a sandbox. i struggle to really enjoy singleplayer minecraft. the space stage in spore gives me genuine anxiety, both when i played it as a kid and again when i reached it as an adult.

botw and totk are not games for me, and that’s cool. i’ve figured that out.

so why am i getting so damn anxious about this new game?

i am getting totk- not entirely of my own volition, i live with someone who is very genuinely excited for it, so it’s pre-ordered digitally on our switch. i am going to play it and complete it at least once.

the gameplay and world of botw never really got to me, and even what snippets of gameplay i see for totk dont really entice me. it just makes me anxious to think about the sheer amount of new stuff i’ll be dropped in the middle of and how i really dont care about this version of link or zelda or anyone else in botw’s hyrule

and some of the story spoiler stuff and general direction this game is going in has me just worried that the zelda series is moving away from what it used to be into an entirely new direction, that being a direction that it seems like i wont enjoy as much as everyone else seems to

so then i guess my main worry outside of totk is that i just end up struggling to really feel connected to the rest of the community about this? being a contrarian is fun until everyone is enjoying something you for some reason can’t get yourself to

i dont have a lot of hope in the story of totk to harken back to… ANYTHING of worth that past games have built up and made to be so important and interesting. hype is a dangerous thing for a not-yet-released game, and while i think the insane amount of speculation and theories and hype around totk will cause a lot of people to be disappointed with the final story, i dunno if i really wouldve liked it even if the story actually piqued my interest

maybe totk’s gameplay will really hook me. maybe i’ll enjoy the massive open world and gmod-ass gimmicks. but what ive seen of the story makes me less interested and the snippets of gameplay i see just make me remember how bored i now am with botw

at the end of the day this is just a video game with tags on this site i can blacklist and videos i can ignore and lore i can brush aside because at this point loz canon is a suggestion more than anything

i just cant shake the discomfort of once again being an outlier as everyone i see loses their mind about this new game while i just feel overwhelmed by it. i have played botw for a long time and have long since worn it out. i played age of calamity to completion and have not touched it or cared for it beyond the music since. i am not excited about totk and i feel like i am in the wrong due to my opinion

[doomed-era]

so zelda as a series is generally not that interested in historical accuracy to the point if you call it strict medieval fantasy I'm going to assume you've never played any of them, or you weren't paying any attention. despite the whole swords and sorcery thing, zelda generally does not try to draw from a specific time period for more than maybe one or two things pre-botw, and includes wildly "out of place" technologies at various points that seem to contradict where they are in the "timeline."

for example, ye olde neon lighting:

ye olde steam-powered boat:

ye olde baseball:

ye olde remote controlled device:

pretty much no zelda game before botw has ever been concerned with being that grounded in its worldbuilding. hell a link to the past has dwarves for no reason and a wind waker npc implies they know what brain surgery is. it's got the general aesthetic of medieval fantasy, but it never pretends to take it that seriously or stick that closely to it.

then we get to botw and they're like "oh my god what is rubber"

which, sure, fine, nothing's inherently wrong with modern hyruleans not knowing what rubber is. a culture could have very sophisticated tech and not know what rubber is simply because it's not relevant to them. however I doubt that's the case here. there's a very strict divide in technology in botw: "ancient tech" and the technology that most of hyrule has, which is...actually kind of jarring when you compare it to other games, where technology is much more evenly distributed even where there are "advanced ancient civilizations." there's no weird minigames that involve big colorful mechanical spinning wheels, no automated bombs, no implied brain surgery. which, again! nothing wrong with this, but tonally it's very different from the games before it, and I can see why others would consider it an unwelcome addition.

I'm also not saying that botw is period-accurate, because it is also not adhering to anything more than a basic aesthetic--but from what I've observed, its "open-air" design and commitment to groundedness do cut out a lot of the more colorful and weird parts of zelda, and there are advantages and disadvantages to it. on one hand, I think it can lead to some fun speculation, because all the game will tell us about it is that some dipshit king banned the cool stuff. on the other hand, it's...kind of boring. idk i dont feel too strongly about this choice

OKAY ONTO THE FUN PART. so "we are going to stick harder to the whole medieval fantasy thing in botw" thing also permeates the story, tone, and infrastructure of hyrule, while still attempting to tell a story within the confines of the previous games' sense of groundedness.

let's take minish cap as an example.

minish cap's version of castle town is super fun and godd i love it so much. everything is cozy, princess zelda is free to walk around as she pleases and enjoy a festival with her friend. no one really treats her with, say, reverence-- she's basically just a girl to the townsfolk, though an important one. zelda is a princess, for sure, but the infrastructure of hyrule and how much political power she has is pretty debatable. minish cap is not interested in answering those questions, and its atmosphere makes it obvious that it doesn't intend to. sure, there's guards and a postman, but they really don't tie into anything; they might as well just be townsfolk. it is meant to be whimsical, lighthearted fantasy, and this suits it very well!

in my opinion, pretty much every version of hyrule is meant to have some sort of whimsical quality to it, no matter how dark the game gets. I don't know if the fandom always understands this though. it's one thing to be aware of the games' level of worldbuilding when you're writing fanfic and aus, and expand upon it with careful research and creative additions, and it's another to just insert more of the trappings of pop culture medieval aesthetic without putting in any actual depth or research. and...yeah that's what some of botw's worldbuilding feels like to me in its attempt to look more grounded. it wants so desperately to be taken seriously, for you to see zelda as a person with real struggles and for hyrule itself to feel like a real place while not doing enough to make zelda real and not enough to make hyrule feel lived in. there's implied to be a full standing army in pre-calamity hyrule, there are roads and towns and prisons and citadels and forts and zelda has servants and there's a royal guard and link is an actual soldier (he has never been one canonically before botw!!) there is a LOT of implication here about how hyrule used to be structured, but it's never elaborated on and instead we get repetitive information about one or two characters to the point that it's annoying! god it drives me crazy. zelda's field research outfit is meant to look like an english riding outfit and she has ladies in waiting in the dlc!!! but it still cannot bother to make any of these choices MEAN anything to the larger story; it's just meant to look good, so don't draw any conclusions about how power works and might be abused because the devs cannot commit to the groundedness they need, and are only concerned with making it look grounded.

idk does that make sense

i'm gonna rant about botw's obsession with appearing more serious and grounded worldbuilding-wise than other zelda games but it actually being rather shallow and how it annoys me hold on

[furymint]

2020 Creator Reflection

Pick a favorite piece for each month to celebrate the year! Reflection under the cut.

March: i talked abt this one here so hell yeah, i love me some angst and revving up elliot’s fatal flaw to ruin his life

April:  Oh God, Nol Antagonized The Feral Possum Too And Now Everything Is Going To Become Bad. it was really hard for me to commit and let nol be the idiot he is to one of my friends but im rly glad i managed it. i expected a lot of tauntness in his character from removing him from ishgard but i wasn't completely sure how i would express it beyond his fragmented thoughts. he never says or thinks quite what he wants to in the order he intends. his impulsivity is damning here n i like that a lot

May:  next year for sure im gonna write at least two clo stories. i dont like that he's That Aesthetic Cat Boy on this blog when he's my vehicle for horror. his voice is also one i haven't figured out yet so id rly like to get that done. shout out to the little pharos in the back.....ilu

June (one): trench warfare trench warfare trench warfare, aka me rewriting what square was too cowardly to put thought into, plus a good dose of sucker punching nol. its much overdue but im working on another sb thing too based on brave's IR so i rly rly wanna finish that soon next year.

June (two): i already talked abt this one here but noise good boys cute

July (one):  this one reminded me that oh. yeah. i CAN photoshop things if i have a vision. bc halone knows i havent in a long time. im a bitch for arr and i love the calamity, but i dont write much abt my boys' childhoods so never get to directly address it. i rly love the one of elliot, who is definitely not eating a piece of bread

July (two):  this bitch wrote FLUFF and POETRY in ONE STORY so thats p cool. i rly like elliot getting smacked by the piano.

August:  spinny. the combination of cute pastels and nols dead anger face is p funny tbh

September (one):  i looooove showing nol's perception against elliot's. nol has an interesting relationship w eli's room, too, as a place of comfort but also massive change, so it's always fun to get him to interact w it. still, elliot operates almost mockingly here--id like to change that vibe bc while his actions are deliberate, they're not cruel.

September (two):  this one was fun to write and fun to read. I've missed writing nol n eli in that awkward period of their early friendship a lot n this let me revisit it. their fondness for each other is clear but theyre evidently not quite *used*to each other. also "a fair trade, he considered, as nol manhandled him through the window" still makes me laugh.

October:  FRUMPY CLOTHES FRUMPY CLOTHES FRUMPY CLOTHES. v happy w this outfit. good clothes this year even if i didnt play very much at all.

November:  i loooooove writing jos and nol. they have so much tension its beautiful. mentor characters are one of my favorite ways to push another chara to do smth uncomfortable, so jos' prodding is the perfect combination of understanding and advice to get nol to reflect on what he needs to. even if that's calling elliot a bitch

-------

i didnt get to do anything for three of the months this year, which is kind of weird for me, but also. its whatever. bc this is 2020.

i rly didnt get to create much at all tbh for 2020 reasons, but also for job reasons--i v happily began working at a public library halfway through this year. adjusting to that time sink was p difficult.

i also really. didn’t play ffxiv much. i did start playing a couple other video games tho, like animal crossing and a few zeldas, and i started tw3 a few weeks ago and im enjoying it. ill take that as progress, too

im working really hard on starting a book blog so i dont expect to return to the game very quickly next year. but i really miss my characters and my friends so i def want to put more time into ffxiv. i have an industrial revolutions wip that i should be done with in the next month, plus another marriage plot wip that i can begin tying together too.

i would really like if i could finish the rp plot for marriage plot im cooking and contribute it to my fc a little. who doesnt need a little more ishgardian drama in their life, duh,

but we made it! to the end of the year! even if it feels lonely and the festivity is really out of me, im glad to move into 2021 and take the little good parts with me.

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019

[ganymedesclock]

So I saw a tag on my last post:

#i dont think we were supposed to think to hard about some of this

(via @mamamittens​ here,)

and I think in a way, that’s correct- the Zelda games are actively written in a way that discourages curiosity about Ganondorf. The “final fight” of the game is rarely an environment of Ganon’s making or in his favor. We are overwhelmingly kept away from Ganon himself- there’s no game where we can just talk to him, and I don’t think there’s been a game yet where we can choose dialogue options in a cutscene with Ganon.

We’re very rarely allowed to talk to Ganon’s subordinates. Those relationships are cast heavily in the dark. We don’t get to see Ganon grieving any of the people and monsters we carve through on our path to get to him.

We’re told things about Ganon in a way that is intended to be dismissive- we’re told he’s Cunning and a Schemer so we assume that he’s working towards some sinister agenda any time we’re looking at him or not. We’re told he’s underhanded so we can accept that events that seem completely unrelated are all his doing. We’re told he hates, and that he covets power, because that’s inherently how he is. We’re told he’s an usurper and an unworthy king so he is set across from the Hyrulean royal family, whose right to rule is never questioned by anyone we’re “supposed” to listen to.

We’re not supposed to think about Ganon. We’re not supposed to wonder about Ganon. We’re not supposed to listen to Ganon.

And this is unnerving, when people don’t tell us things about Ganon. 

In Wind Waker, there is a small detail where Ganon is only stated as “Ganon” by Daphnes. The time we hear him called “Ganondorf” is when he introduces himself to Link. That’s one of the first things he says to Link in this game- calmly and indifferently giving us this tiny, but fairly notable, detail of his history that Daphnes never told us.

And Daphnes omits a lot of Ganon in that game. The word “Gerudo” is never mentioned. We only know that Ganon didn’t come from Hyrule because again, he himself tells Link about his country and the disparity in climate- that Hyrule had something his people didn’t, and at least in that timeline, seemingly, the Gerudo were struggling. (One can argue in OoT they don’t appear to be struggling, but, why would Ganon, a king among his own people, keenly know and be able to describe the experience of poverty and living close to death if he never experienced it? He isn’t pulling this out in anticipation of pity; it’s a moment’s introspection before he braces himself to fight Link and Tetra for the triforce, with no suggestion that they could back down or negotiate)

And even just in a sense of immediate relevance of the game- Daphnes doesn’t tell us the Master Sword was used to seal Ganon. He doesn’t tell us that there’s consequences to drawing it whether or not it still had the sages’ power. In fact, Daphnes casually justifies withholding information- when he reveals his true identity, he outright tells Link that as long as Link was able to kill Ganon, Daphnes saw no reason to reveal Hyrule or his own identity.

Considering Daphnes is literally sending Link on a politically motivated hit on another ruler, this is really bad. It’s bad that literally all of the context we have on Hyrule’s downfall is either directly given by Ganon- who at no point is shown to lie to further the obvious agenda he’d have of Not Wanting Link To Kill Him- or prompted by Ganon’s actions and words raising questions that Daphnes admits he needs to answer.

In Twilight Princess, Ganon talks to Link less, but he’s still conspicuously wearing a crown. He is still overtly not Hylian- we can still imagine that he is from the Gerudo, which is very concerning, when the only inhabited structure in the Gerudo Desert in TP is a massive, extremely haunted prison full of torture equipment that was presided over by servants of the Hyrule royal family. Whether or not we were supposed to think deeply about it, having Ganon, overtly crowned, when there were no other Gerudo, and the sages claiming they merely executed “a bandit” who was blessed with the gods’ power basically by accident- literally only thinking about it as far as “but Ganon didn’t just sprout out of the desert at random, where did he come from? In other games, he’s from a people called the Gerudo who lives in the desert, but it doesn’t look like anyone lives in the Gerudo Desert except the Bulblins, and Ganon’s obviously not a bulblin” tells us that the nicest thing that possibly happened is famine or disaster wiped out the Gerudo, destroyed their city, and left Ganon the sole survivor.

It’s not a good look if you can’t admit the person you’re executing is royalty.

But we’re Not Supposed To Think About Ganon.

And in another sense, we are- we’re supposed to hate him. We’re supposed to think about the bad things that happen and think they’re his fault. We’re supposed to think about the bad he could hypothetically do, and allegedly is doing, somewhere we can’t see him, or where we can see the results but not anything that explains why Ganon did this or how.

We’re supposed to think about Ganon as an adversary, a beast, a monster, a tyrant.

We are not supposed to think about Ganon as a person who was ever a child, who ever had a homeland. We are not supposed to think about how Ganon frequently empowers or takes the side of people who feel like they were kicked around by the established order.

We’re supposed to think about Ganon as avaricious, but never Ganon who wants things. We’re supposed to think about Ganon as wrathful, but never someone who knew lack or suffering or punishment. We’re supposed to think of Ganon as vindictive, but never someone who has any reason to feel he was wronged. We’re supposed to think about Ganon who hates Hyrule, but never Ganon who was ever given a reason to hate Hyrule, or resent it, or be envious about it.

And more than these factors being only implied or not implied or only there if you ‘really think hard about it’- they are frequently implied or explicitly spelled out in canon.

Wind Waker Ganon tells Link that he was a person who lived close to death in a barren wasteland of a country. He says this was his experience, and motivated his desire for Hyrule. It’s threaded into the way he phrases his wish. He states this at a point when he has nothing to gain, is not telling Link to stop fighting him or that he’s justified, but merely, with the benefit of introspection, contemplating on how his ambition began. Daphnes is right there, perfectly able to hear him, and does not contest or argue this. 

There is nothing here that suggests Ganon is a liar- especially when, in Wind Waker, Ganon is a more reliable source of exposition than Daphnes is. He doesn’t lie in any part of the game- if anything, he tells us several important things before Daphnes does (that Tetra is carrying a piece of the triforce, that the Master Sword was used to seal him, that it has lost its power, that there’s a connection between the weakening of the sword and the “pathetic fools who made it”)

Which I think takes things a step further than merely shoddy lore- because, some of this stuff, like Ganon no intuitive motive for planting Kalle Demos where he ostensibly did, and no obvious means for creating, taming, or controlling this creature, genuinely is just shoddy lore- they made a forest dungeon for the players’ enjoyment and gave it a forest boss and then contrived a reason to be there and then put it into the boss rush because everybody loves boss rushes, right? Why is there a monster there? Pin it on Ganon.

But things like literally having people lie about Ganon, when Ganon conversely doesn’t lie to Link and half the time actively explains more than the mentor figure has at that point in a way that only partially feels like monologuing- it comes back to what I said. Ganon in Wind Waker suggests that he’s not the only one spurned by the gods, but so are Link and Zelda- and, once again...

...Nothing in the series really calls him a liar about it.

But we’re not supposed to think about Ganon in the way that we wonder about him at all. We’re especially not supposed to think that there might be any way to deal with him besides killing him. In Twilight Princess, we can guess he was potentially given a trial, because of the “Arbiter” in “Arbiter’s Grounds”, but in a context where the Gerudo were decimated, and it was the direct servants of the royal family trying him, in an isolated environment that clearly condones doing all kinds of horrible things to people, far, far away from any civilians or witnesses... how fair a trial could that possibly be? 

And what does it mean about Link’s morality in that game, if he defeats Ganon by tearing open that execution wound, following the steps of the sages, and the only real rationale is he started off trying to rescue the people of Ordon- who we’re never given a good reason why they were kidnapped and then abandoned, or something that ties it back to Ganon’s orders- and tries to defend Midna, restoring her to the throne (and basically ignoring Zant’s accusations that Midna’s family abused him, because we never meet said family, or hear anything about them from anyone else) and Zelda (who’s nearly a non-entity in Twilight Princess until the final fight).

Link is presented as an ostensible neutral party because he’s not a soldier of Hyrule, but in practice, he’s kept very ignorant about the situation he’s conscripted into, and he’s given all of his cues from Hyrulean perspectives and especially those of their royal family. And we, interacting with the world through him, are similarly kept in the dark.

So- yeah, so much more of Ganon makes sense if you just don’t think about it. This was clearly the stance we were supposed to take.

But...

On the other hand...

Are we really comfortable, through the character of Link, of playing the role of an unthinking executioner, who sharpens the sword because we were told, who cuts down someone we barely know anything about, who doesn’t give us that many reasons to oppose him not filtered through things we’re told by other people? Who virtually never directly attacks until we personally chase him down?

Even if Hyrule has only the best intentions, why write a story where we just have to take a bunch of confusing and downright concerning information at face value and kill a guy because destiny says so?

If this isn’t supposed to look like we’re the unwitting servants of evil, why are we supposed to be unwitting servants at all? After all, you don’t usually hear the term “unwitting servant of justice” because the general idea is that a just cause is one that doesn’t need to lie to people.

[bazzledazzled]

I’m not going to lie to you I am 100% pulling these headcanons from the spam of messages i sent @waywardpadaleski​ but I saw Voltron Hogwarts AUs floating around and I decided to make headcanons because I love this idea ive also doodled stuff and may post some or write something just not rn

OKAY SO

pretty much the houses just go with their lions— but lance is special snowflake im sorry i know i sound like one of those uber annoying lance stans that shove da boi down everyones throats i cant help it i love him but bare with me this makes sense

Okay so Keith is in Gryffindor because ofc he would

Pidge is Slytherin

Hunk is Hufflepuff

Allura is totally a Ravenclaw

What about Lance, you ask? Well u know how JK Rowling said that there’s things called “Hat Stalls” where people took longer than 5 min to get sorted???

Ye well Lance is one of THOSE

It would work with canon if you think about it because he kinda is stuck between the red lion and the blue lion and like-- I know keef is the same way with the black lion but shush

SO ANYWAYS

the sorting hats dilemma is that he’s smart and has the means to excel in Ravenclaw, but at the same time he’s outrageously brave like a Gryffindor

(MY BOI IS SMART FITE ME)

So the hat doesn’t know what to put him in

Then the sorting hat comes to the conclusion that while he could do great in Ravenclaw, he wouldn’t reach his full potential unless he was a Gryffindor (*COUGH* LIKE CANON)

Sooooo-- Pidge is like a year or two behind Hunk, Lance, and Keith because y’know, shes younger and stuff and she kinda gets into the group because of her older brother

THATS RIGHT MATTS HERE

So Matt is a Ravenclaw and him and Shiro are besties ofc

(Shiros Gryffindor sorry I forgot to mention it)

Matt was also a Hat Stall because when i was thinking about his house i couldn’t decide between Ravenclaw, Slytherin, or Gryffindor

But he’s Ravenclaw cuz it fits in with an Adashi thing im gonna bring up later

ANYWAYS

Shiro is also Keith’s older brother, they’re not biological siblings, its just Keefs dad was friends with shiros parents and when he passed away the Shiroganes adopted him 

Shiro is ANNOYED because Keith and Lance are always fighting with each other in the commons and he just wants to read his book in peace

Now here comes the Adashi

Okay okay so Adam is Ravenclaw

I know we barely know anything about Adam (*glares at s7*) BUT based on stuff and how the fanon Adam is, I’m saying he’s Ravenclaw

So anyways

Let’s get to Quidditch because that’s part of the Adashi part of this AU

Keef is a Gryffindor Seeker because like-- he go vroom

I lowkey am making Lance a Keeper not only cuz he would be good at it but also cuz of those cheesy shirts that say things like “He’s a Keeper” and “She’s a Catch” 

Shiro is a Chaser

Pidge and Hunk I think would be Beaters???? Idk

OH! James Griffin is also a Slytherin Seeker byeeee

Adam is the Ravenclaw Keeper

Headcanon is if theres one thing Lance and Adam have in common, its that they can make people flustered very easily 

So ya know what Adam does, much to Shiro’s annoyance???

He flirts with him

Whenever they have games that are Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor Adam will flirt with Shiro, winking at him, yelling stuff across the field, making Shiro so flustered he can’t throw straight (pun intended)

One time Adam gets Shiro so flustered he drops the ball

Matt, a Beater, high fives him

OH! Also Allura is a Chaser and she’s like the best Chaser in the school FITE ME

Okay thats enough of quidditch 

Okay so as for family lineage and stuff

Shiro, Lance, and Hunk are muggleborns

They just are

Shiro’s parents knew about Magic because of keef and were surprised when they found out Shiro was a wizard

Lance is the only wizard in his family and he gets homesick a lot because he’s the only one who goes to Hogwarts and he misses his siblings and stuff

But he always brings niece and nephew home stuff from Hogsmade that he thinks they’ll like 

Hunk, Lance, and Shiro meet because Hogwarts started a club during the summer for Muggleborns where they can meet and talk about concerns with Hogwarts and magic and stuff with other muggleborns that are older

So Lance and Hunk soon become really close friends and Shiro is kinda their advisor and stuff

Anyways

Keith is a Halfblood, which makes sense because i mean he’s half galra on the show so

His mom was a witch, and idk if im going to have her run away for something or die?? I mean I kinda want her to run away cuz of something so they can be reunited but i have no idea what it would be unless this was during the time of harry potter and it had something to do with Voldemort but i kinda want to stay away from all that so ye

Pidge and Matt are purebloods

But they’re not the stuck up purebloods

They’re literally the Weasleys 

Sam has a fascination with muggle technology that Pidge and Matt share

So like, they have a lot of fancy tech

Pidge and Matt snuck a DS on campus and play Zelda at meals

Allura is probably a Pureblood but shes way less snooty, maybe even compared to her parents

As for teachers

Coran is Herbology teacher or something???

Alfor is Defense against the Dark Arts maybe??? I don’t know either him or Zarkon 

Haggar is obviously the potions teacher

ANYWAYS

Everyone hates Lotor cuz his parents are teachers and he’s a teachers pet

But back to Haggar in potions

So she’s like the slytherin head thing or whatever they were

so yknow she’s biased

and it doesnt help that her son is also slytherin

(also Zarkon is a Gryffindor sorryyyyy)

(This also could play into keith or lance’s story by them being compared to Zarkon or something and it unsettling them)

(This just in-- I think Zarkon should be the voldemort)

(oh shoot im getting sidetracked with imagining zarkon as voldemort and lance as harry potter)

(help)

ANYWAYS

So ofc she sees that Lance and Keith are always at each others throat

and makes them potions partnets

because it makes it easier for them to get in trouble because they keep fighting and then she can take points from gryffindor 

ANYWAYS

The one day they are tasked with making Amortentia, right??

Oh god this is so mcfreaking cliche im sorry

So Keef and Lonce are there, both tired from studying or something so already they’re cranky and half asleep

So they’re making the potion right?

And lance just coughs, a look of disgust on his face

“What?” Keef says. Lance plugs his nose.

“U stink, Keith.” And throughout potions class Lance keeps complaining that Keith smells really bad or something or he used too much cologne idk

Ofc like Pidge is in that class and shes snickering

Lance turns to her like “WHAT IS IT PIDGE” 

She asks him if he knows what the potion is supposed to do

He’s just like “It makes people fall in love with u.”

“Yes but what else?” Both keith and Lance stare at her blankly. She explains that when u smell it you smell what u love most

Both keef and lances eyes widen

For the first time in forever they’re quite the entire period

Keith has a gay panic

Lance has a bi panic

they are disasters

Shiro confronts pidge after that day

“Pidge what did u do to keef and lonce they’re broken”

Pidge is all like, “Excuse me????”

“They’re being nice to each other.” 

Hunk, who is also there, just snorts

“Pls explain this to me,” Shiro says, exasperated

Pidge explains the Amortentia scene

Shiro just laughs because of course they were in love with each other

(it lowkey reminds him of him and Adam)

(okay now i have theories that the reason why they made Adam shiro’s boyfriend is because its meant to mirror OTHER ships in voltron *cough* KLANCE and its foreshadowing or something i mean adam does look like lance and shiro and keith are sorta similar)

(shut up candy back to the AU)

Hunk admits that Lance has had a crush on keeth for like ever but he keeps saying its just a rivalry thing

Actual conversation between the two:

“And what’s up with his hair?? It’s like straight out of the 80′s and he has all the bangs over his eyes like an EMO like why is he trying to hide his eyes?” Lance blushes because he’s thinking about how beautiful Keefs eyes are. “Like why? Why is his hair like that i dont understand?? And what does he do to it why is it so soft???”

“You’ve touched his hair?”

“Yeah I was trying to see if I’m taller than him yet” Hunk was just confused but then Lance kept talking about keiths hair and he let it slip when it was like, almost 3am that keiths hair made him look pretty and lance would never be able to make that look good on himself, then immediately said something about the one time keef blew something up in first year because hes an idiot as a coverup

So hunk has known for some time

Even when lance didn’t know

So for the next couple weeks keith and lance act kinda weird around each other

because they don’t know how to handle feelings

they mostly avoid each other, standing on opposite ends of the room and glaring at each other

but of course that doesnt help them at all because for some reason they share a room

(oh my god they were roommates)

The rest of the boys in the room are angry because of all the sexual tension its giving them anxiety and they started sleeping in the commons

I actually have no idea who the other three boys would be because one of them couldnt be shiro because hes older and everyone else is in different houses so

At one point keith just blurts “Whats wrong with you?”

Lance gets all defensive because he takes it in a different way than Keith meant and thought Keith was saying he was flawed or something and he was broken and...

heres the langst

Lance just starts to get upset and is yelling saying nothing is wrong with him and he almost starts to cry because he’s just so confused and doesn’t know whats going on and he feels like hes not good enough for Gryffindor and

He has a lot of emotions

And he says all this, starting to ramble through tears, pouring all of his emotions out

Keef is shook

he doesn’t know what to do Lance never acted like this in front of him before and he’s never seen lance like this, so self conscious and doubting himself 

Keith doesn’t know how lance could even think these things because in his eyes-- lance is perfect

Lance has always been so much better at magic than he was

and He’s so confident and such a good Keeper 

He gingerly touches Lance’s shoulder. 

“Lance I--” Keith doesn’t know what words to say, but apparently he doesn’t need to say any

Lance wraps his arms around him, burying his face in his shoulder, sniffling

Keith is surprised at first because u know keef

He doesn’t know how to react when someone hugs him

He gently hugs lance back, resting his head on Lances and running his fingers through his hair

Lance calms down, his breathing slowing and seeming more relaxed

when he does, keith tries his best to tell him how great he thinks lance is and how hes jealous and all that

Lance pulls away, rubbing his eyes. 

“You mean it?” Keith nods solemnly, not looking at Lance. Lance touches his cheek, causing him to look back up, his brows knit together in confusion

Lance doesn’t know why, but he kisses him

(*klance fangirl in me starts screaming*)

and just??? the moment feels perfect to both of them? This was someone they always thought of as a rival, were always jealous of, and were always thinking about. They never truely understood their feelings for each other, until now

Shiro doesn’t comment when they walk into the dinning hall the next morning holding hands

But Pidge sure does 

Okay im trying to think of more headcanons involving people other than Shiro, Keith, and Lance because i love all the characters and they deserve attention

Hunk makes friends with two other Hufflepuff girls 

he he he yall know who it is

SHAY AND ROMELLE

MY GURLS

Shay and Romelle have been friends since they were first years and Shay yelled at Lotor for making fun of Romelle

they’ve been besties ever since

Hunk meets Shay and Romelle in Herbology because in like maybe 5th year or something Hufflepuff house was taught Herbology with the Slytherins. Every year before that it was either with Ravenclaw or Gryffindor so he would pair with Lance, Keith, Allura, or Shiro

Pidge was a year or two bellow him so they didn’t have classes together in case u were wondering

For the specific thing they needed a group of three and even though Hunk is a pretty nice guy and can make friends with everyone, everyone sorta had their trio

Because ofc he can find a PARTNER that was left out of their group of three, but suddenly they’re paired off in threes and there’s no sad loner who has no friends. 

Shay and Romelle have an opening in their group

Hunk goes to work with them

They’re honestly the cinnamon roll squad and when Hunk introduces them to his friends Lance and Pidge immediately nickname them that 

Hunk quickly falls in love with Shay

Like deeply in love

He’s always complimenting her and laughing at what she says

Romelle keeps trying to tell Shay that he likes her but Shay just goes “he’s just a nice person, Elle”

The Yule ball comes around ofc

and at this point Lance and Keith are dating

This is probably around.... Sixth year I want to say? 

So here’s the line up 

Keith and Lance go to the dance together

Shiro asks Adam in like this grand way and Adam is just like “wait we weren’t going together before??”

Matt doesn’t have a date but he invites Pidge because she threatened him (she wants to take pictures of Klance and Adashi acting cute and coupley to use as blackmail and Matt supports it)

Hunk starts freaking out because he really really really wants to ask Shay but he doesn’t know how

Lance gives him a pep talk, saying that she obviously likes him of course she’ll say yes

Hunk is still nervous

Lance is all like “C’mon asking your crush out isnt that bad if she says no she says no, but if she says yes then you get an awesome date.” 

“Says the one who had a crush on his boyfriend since second year and covered it up as a rivalry.” Lance looks offended.

“You need to stop hanging out with Pidge.” 

Lance decides to be Hunks wingman and starts asking Shay things like “You planning on going to the Yule Ball?” and “What do you think of Hunk?” He sees that she is very much interested and repots this to Hunk

He helps Hunk come up with a way to ask her

And its like the sweetest thing Romelle is in on it and she gives some stupid excuse as to why she cant study for herbology with them 

then her and lance hide behind a bookshelf, giggling

Hunk gets super flustered

But he manages to ask her

Shay also gets really flustered

But says yes

oof okay thats three of my big ships canon now for the fourth. 

When Hunk first introduces Allura to Romelle, her first thought is “Her. I want to date Her.” 

Now Lance and Allura have already come out to each other as bi disasters

It actually happened when Lance got with Keith and they were talking about him, doing facials (they take care of their skin with each other fite me) 

And Lance is just like “Yeah so I guess I like guys and girls” and allura is like “YOU CAN DO THAT” and lance is like “yeah????” and hes not sure if shes being biphobic or what and hes scared for like 0.1 second

and then allura just goes “Oh my god lonce i think i like guys and girls too”

And then they just start laughing

I guess I should also mention that they dated at one point too???

I don’t think it would’ve been super long, but probably around 3rd year they dated and thats actually probably how Allura got introduced to the Squad??

Lance first saw her when he finally joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team 

He got picked to be a Keeper the second year

So their first game is against ravenclaw

And he’s pretty good for the most part

And then all of a sudden he sees allura flying towards him and she looks so beautiful and how can she be so beautiful and--

She just scored a goal

and he was staring dumbly at her

So Lance and Allura’s relationship kind of developed like it did in the show with Lance flirting with her and Allura being annoyed to them becoming friends and eventually mutual crush

Allura’s actually the one to ask Lance out

They date for a while and theyre actually a really cute couple

(I may be a hardcore Klancer but I do find Allurlance cute on the occasion)

But after a bit... it kinda fades away?? I don’t know they just start to feel like when they kiss its not... not how they thought it would be??

They slowly start to realize that they kinda just want to be friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend

It just adds stress that they don’t want and they want to be able to tell each other anything without having to worry about stuff

so they break up soon after they start dating

sadly

but they dont?? feel too broken up about it???

The feeling was mutual

Plus they like each other much more as friends than romantic partners

They’re like the ultumate brotp 

Now they give each other facials every thursday

anyways

so allura finds out that she has a crush on Romelle

and who does she go to?

Ofc its lance hes a successful bi with a boyfriend

So he pretty much teaches her how to flirt

like seriously he teaches her how to flirt

And Allura makes it her duty to flirt with Romelle at every possibly oppertunity

Making Romelle freak out because how is she supposed to read this does she want to date Allura or????

They don’t really go any further for a while, its just allura slipping in little things every now and again or blowing kisses at romelle in the stands as she scores a goal

When the Yule ball rolls around, both Allura and Romelle dont have dates (Lotor asked Allura to the dance because they kissed one time in a game of spin the bottle and she responded with judoflipping him)

But they have fun

Everyone has fun actually

Its amazing and fluffy

(i feel like i should write a snapshot of this so i can finally write a fic that isnt centered around klance)

And a slow song comes on

Hunk and Shay awkwardly dance with each other, blushing brightly

Lance and Keith have their heads pressed together, Lance kissing Keith’s nose as they dance and making keith so flustered he stumbles and they both fall to the floor laughing

Adam and Shiro are that couple everyone is jealous of because theyre so perfect?? Like they have matching outfits and they dance gracefully and they kiss at just the right moments??

Pidge and Matt are god knows where probably videotaping the whole thing

And Allura kinda jokingly goes, “Well I guess then we should dance too.” And Romelle surprises her by taking her hand, pulling her onto the dancefloor

and freaking allura is actually really flustered and she’s blushing, having a hard time looking at Romelle

(romelle is having a hard time looking at her to fsajndvjhaio)

They’re both blushing. 

At the end of the song theyre much closer to each other than they started

They look up at each other

And then Romelle squeezes her eyes tight and kisses allura

It barely lasts for a second

Allura is shook

Romelle is in Lesbian Painc

Allura is in Bi Panic

Nobody seems to have noticed

but both girls are dying

And then allura just timidly asks, “Can you-- can you do that again?”

Pidge walks up to them kissing and just goes, “Oh thank god I thought I was going to have to force you two to kiss”

Because pidge oversees everything and knows everyones crushes that theyre too stupid to see

I feel bad for pidge i don’t really know what big moments she should have???

I feel like shes a trouble maker though

Not like cruel pranks or something 

But she likes to play jokes on people

A lot of the times that person is Lance

A lot of the time Keith is in on it

I also feel like eventually Allura and Romelle start to join her??

She recruits them for some big thing

Idk what

Its probably like a surprise for either Klance’s anniversary or Adashi’s 

And they love this way of life

Romelle betrays the cinnamon roll squad and goes to the dark side

Also a little more about pidge

She was almost a Hat Stall

Her two houses were Slytherin and Ravenclaw

But at like 4 min and 43 seconds the hat announced slytherin

her family is actually a mix of slytherins and ravenclaws

her dad and brother are ravenclaws

her mom is slytherin

OH AND BEFORE I LEAVE

Lances rivalry with Keith started because Keith bought the last of the candy he wanted on the train

And during like 7th year when they’re cuddling or something and Keith is like “why did u start this rivalry” and lance says it’s because he took the candy and Keith is SHOOK and goes “I would have shared if u asked”

and yeah i may add but heres most of the headcanons i came up with

[these---days]

Procrastination

1. Favourite colour --> Green.. but sometimes purple, or Teal... idk

2. Number of people you’ve slept with --> 2 3. Cake or ice cream? I don’t care for dessert but Cake over Ice Cream 4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? Seeing the future so I can 1) win the lottery to give money to all of the people and 2) see future regrets and change them as necessary 5. Ever been in a fist fight? Yup... or well, it was one sided as the person was being a drunk douche. I’m pretty patient and not easily angered but was the last straw when they were crap to an ex... so i ran across the room and their face met my fist as we went through a window ;). 6. Do you live in the country or the city? City 7. Biggest kink? I really can not think of anything... it’s been a while since I even gave a shit... refer to my #2 response lol 8. Favourite video-game? Assassin’s Creed 2....Classic maybe Crash Bandicoot or Zelda: A Link to The Past (honourable mentions - Heavy Rain bcuz it was the first game of it’s kind, NHL 200 something cuz I played it for a straight week and Parappa the Rapper for the memories I had while playing it) 9. Words you live by? I’m not religious but, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”  10. Best book you’ve ever read? Okay well this changes constantly there’s been a lot. Great Gatsby and Lord of the Flies were my first... Stone Butch Blues made me tear up after 20 pages... The Alchemist... The Hours... Tom Robbins though hands down has the best books. If you can’t tell I have a hard time with decisions or ONE STRAIGHT ANSWER (no pun intended) 11. Favourite film? .... REALLY... same as above, too many. The Hours, Girl, Interrupted, Eternal Sunshine, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Requiem for a Dream.... and honorable mention is Rocky Horror because I wouldn’t call it my fav but I do love it 12. Horror or romance? neither 13. Biggest fear? I’m usually more afraid of the anticipation of a thing than the actual THING... Otherwise no real “fears” in particular, I just spoke easily and get nervous a lot 14. Best memory? I have no idea. Maybe my 19th birthday weekend. First time people actually worked hard at surprising me, I felt really cared about and important to people outside of my family AND the girl I liked (but swore I wouldn’t tell bcuz I couldn’t lose anymore friends based on being a lesbian) kissed me. So that was a high.  15. Worst memory? There have been a lot... but to be honest everything becomes pretty neutral or numb (for best or worst memories) 16. Where are you from? Toronto, Canada 17. Ever done anal? no thankssss 18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? I would like to “Berry” “Hollywood”  19. Favourite outfit? Ugh I do not have one right now... maybe my underwear and a baseball shirt since that is usually my go to bed/not going out outfit ;) 20. Snapchat or Instagram? i dont care 21. If you could freeze time what would you do? nothing. I’m fucking frozen.  22. Best LUSH product in your opinion? Who knows, a bath bomb? I don’t go here 23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? nothing is the correct answer .. my life is so sad that I am still answering these 24. Favourite television character? Willow Rosenberg 25. Do you have a nemesis? Time, money, the patriarchy, capitalism, heterosexism... must I go on? 26. Are you a hard-worker? When other people are depending on me for sure. If it’s only for myself... not so much I think. But for a job, ya I’ll work harder than probably necessary to my disadvantage typically.  27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? Backpacking Australia 2012 with my sis 28. What’s your dream? I have none 29. Where do you see your life ending up? well... it wasn’t here that’s for sure 30. Describe your last sexual encounter. LOL I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER IT ITS BEEN THAT LONG 31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? Cake by the Ocean... of course? 32. Ever done drugs? Obviously... Tylenol is a fucking drug you know ;) 33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? LOTR 34. Are you a jock or a nerd? lol... NERD... my best job in sports usually consisted of getting hit for the sake of the team 35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? I am a strong 5.8 on the Kinsey Scale 36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? meh 37. Favourite trashy television show? ugh sadly I will watch are you the one? or Survivor, Big Brother, MTV’s the Challenge 38. Last time you watched porn? lol i dont even know... also not even really my thing tbh 39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? nope 40. Weirdest dream you ever had? i dont even know 41. Ever had mental health issues? yup 42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? no way, really? you’re joking! (lol) 43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? omg no  44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? we live in a world with Trump in it... also about 2649473647823648232 political and capitalist assholes 45. Dog person or cat person? I can be both but DOGSSSSSS ... i became allergic to cats but I still end up all over them and suffer the consequences :’(

46. Sneakers or heels? LOL sneakers. No one needs to witness me in heels 47. Favourite cocktail? GT 48. Day or night? I’m a night person but I WISH I was a day person 49. Pokémon or Digimon? -mon 50. How big is your dick? YUGE 51. Favourite musical? Ugh I think I had a new one but oh well, Phantom of the Opera was my old one... Mamma Mia only because it’s all ABBA 52. Favourite song? Exit to a Movie by Radiohead but the version Westworld played during season 1. I love SO many though. (I will always love Cat Power and Regina Spektor though) 53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? I am a Gob-lien-droid 54. Why are you like this? I’m sure it’s a mix genes, timing, contextual influence of the social determinants of health, my individual intersections and situational freedoms... along with my “choose my own adventure” decisions or non-decisions in life ;). THAT A COMPLETE ENOUGH FUCKING ANSWER FOR YA 55. What’s your guilty pleasure? sleep. Also sadly the movie Imagine you and me... omg #whatasap 56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? weird 57. What’s the story behind your URL? It’s from the movie Amelie 58. Tell me something that worries you. everything pretty much all the time... I would really love some regular massages. Or to remember the time when for a while I had no worries, had no tension and slept like a fucking BABY 59. What have you been worrying about today? Falling (literally), the work I have to get done, Money, School, Life after school, future work, decisions about where to live and what work options I’ll have, getting a dog, If I’ll have to date again to help make those decisions lol... Also accidentally became a klepto and found something in my luggage from a trip that I feel bad for taking... I don’t even know how or why it happened lol 60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. TOO BAD FOR YOUUUUU SUCKAAA 61. Hot dogs or burgers? depends 62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? Going outside 63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like? none. I dont know... fandoms do not define me! 64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? I’ve got nothing 65. Tell us a deep dark secret. I have a secret... it’s is deep.... but it is also dark....  66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty 'til it’s all red? I think I’m good but have fun with that 67. Favourite Tumblr couple? How do you even know tumblr couples?! 68. Do you have any dietary quirks? Nope.. maybe I’m getting lactose sensitive sometimes? Mostly I think it’s stress though 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? Not right no thanks I’m busyyyyy 70. How old are you? 31 last friday... 71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence? WHAT IS A LISTICLE..also I ain’t got time for thattt 72. Do you have any pets? not anymore :’(... I got allergic to them #STORYOFMYLIFE 73. What colour underwear are you wearing? The are green and pink. Dark green with like jungle like leaves and flamingos <3. (American Eagle short briefs idk what they are called..) 74. Boxers or briefs? read #73 75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? You seem unsure of yourself there... or were you just giving an angry rant at yourself and then asking if Ray Bradbury was around... hmmm 76. Which television show do you want to last forever? Buffy but it isn’t on TV anymore and instead in Comic form 77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? Instantly dead for sure... I’d just drop a huge rock on my head and be done with it lol 78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? ALSO WANT TO PUNCH EVERYTHING WITH MY INTERNET CONNECTION 79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? Not particularly... unless you were serious about them and then I’d use like paint and make them hilarious haha omg ya that’d be great 80. Which country has the best flag? I was horrible about georgraphy lol.... I would throw knowing flags into that category  81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? I consider myself *ironic* ... ew wait not in a hipster way... just wanted to throw out Alanis since that’s what came to mind here 82. Most overrated food? Bacon 83. Most overrated film? So many 84. Most overrated television show? Friends 85. Most overrated type of cheese? Babybel 86. Which brand would you never shop at? There’s a few ethical ones but also gotta check privilege with whether you can afford to skip some stores/brands  87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Wisdom 88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? Space would give me anxiety... but staying in the same spot would give me anxiety. CONUNDRUM 89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? A girlfriend...For more on that check the “best memory” response I guess... although brithday present makes it sound like a person was an object/commodity that could be claimed and that’s not what I mean... trying to be funny just got serious RIGHT QUICK 90. What present do you wish someone would give you? I have no real wants.. just time with people. Or one day for all my friends to be together and nobody disliked anyone and could have a good time and get along for me... actually that would be the best present in the world but will never happen so alas, there is no reason for birthday parties anymore 91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? Yes. We had expired on our 9 lives. 91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? Because you typed it twice 92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. Make the list shorter 93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? onions 94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? more than any other...... ???  95. What is your spirit animal? A KOALA, the sleep for like 22-23 hours of the day 96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? Tangent. Conundrum... idk 97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid?yup 98. What makes you super nostalgic? Random things, nothing particular 99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like 'yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) asshole 100. What’s your favourite cocktail? SUP REPEAT 101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book? OOGA BOOGA MAN FROM CRASH BANDICOOT lol 102. Laptop or PC? laptop 103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? meh 104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? FUCK DONALD TRUMP ... i can’t even be funny with this one I just start fuming at his mention  105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. This should’ve been for question 52..... so nope. 106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? I’m good. 107. What would you change about your body if you could? I’d work out and eat healthy... idk.... bodies are bodies and they are the way the are for whatever reason to each their own. I’m for people changing their bodies and for not doing so at all. For me I only change stuff if I physically get pained otherwise it’s all aesthetics which is trivial. 108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? hot 109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? having one I guess lol? 110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? unicorn (I can’t swim so) 111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid?I had none. So deprived.  112. What was your favourite class at school? History maybe? 113. Are you superstitious? kind of but not seriously 114. What do you think happens when we die? When I get there I’ll let you know 115. Pie or pi? PI!!! BTW, getting a McFlurry on Pi day is hilarious because the total for one in Canada with taxes is 3.14!!!! #nerdalert 116. Your followers a question. Are you questioning my followers??? 117. Lick my genitalia. I’m good thanks  118. What’s your favourite number? 8 119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? nope 120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?it’s.. fine 121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. I have no idea 122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? My mom used to tell Caterpillar bedtime stories... the stories would start with the caterpillar having a certain amount of legs and this caterpillar would be playing some kind of game/sport against my family of 4 and in each sport my mom would make up how the caterpillar lost it’s legs. The story was over when they lost all their legs and we won lol.  123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Ugh I  WAS old before my time as a child... after 25 I’ve been trying to peter pan through life because now we’re stuck being old and I want a chance at childhood again haha 124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. It’s a mix of contextual factors as I’ve answered for another question lol 125. I hope you enjoyed these questions. they actually were not that great... I am underwhelmed 126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? one that upgrades them to a good old airconditioner

[shootycatfishgame]

What Games Inspired Me?

Well, its time for another one of those weekly updates is it? Looking at my to do list this post is supposed to be about what inspired Shooty & The Catfish in terms of design? Well, before I get to that here is this weeks progress update. Update: This week I managed to write up the lists of character tasks, the small stories and side quests, enemies and environment descriptions for zones 03 through 05. I can even share with you some concept art for the NPC’s of Zone02, Fun Guy Forest, they are obviously all mushrooms, mushrooms that are obsessed with the sale and purchase of food. I dont want to be going into much more detail than that, I think this game will definitely be more enjoyable the less you know going in

Now, to the bigger question for this week.

Things That I Stole From Other Things: Some people say that stealing is wrong, and generally I agree, but sometimes stealing a bunch of different things and slapping them together creates something entirely new, I would sight Darksiders as an example of this. You take the character/item progression and dungeon design from the 3D Zelda titles, mix that with some spectacle fighter combat from God of War, put a portal gun in there for good measure and you have yourself a damn fun game that stands on its own legs (IMO anyway, Darksiders 1 and 2 were both better Zelda games than Skyward Sword at least. Well maybe stealing is the wrong term, perhaps borrowing? Paying homage? Adapting? Being inspired by? Whatever the case, im a big believer in trans-formative media and adapting other peoples concepts and game play mechanics to be used in new and different ways to what they were intended for. And so here we are, me talking about all the games and other media that Shooty and the Catfish liberally takes ideas from and how I want to apply them to the game itself. Just a heads up, Earthbound won’t be in this list. I know everyone says Earthbound inspired every RPG Maker game out there but I have never played any entries in the series (nor have I played Undertale though I do now have it in my Steam library). Hell, people accused me of stealing from Earthbound in my previous game Flatwoods just because the main character had a striped shirt, the only reason it was striped was to make him constantly visible during game play, but I digress. Here is my list of influences and inspirations.

First and foremost it would have to be Space Funeral.

Space Funeral is a turn based RPG that messes with the idea of what a traditional JRPG should be purely through its aesthetic and tone alone. Its surreal, it doesn’t follow a typical JRPG story line, the characters are bizarre, the color pallet is anything but traditional and there’s just nothing else really like it out there. Its also not difficult, the combat doesn’t exist to challenge the player but rather to fill out the world the game exists in. These are all elements I believed in long before I got into game development, employing similar ideas into my animation work, but from all the games I have ever played Space Funeral captures those ideas better than any other, and if I can even do these things a fraction as well as Space Funeral does, I will be a happy man.

Next up would be Adventure Time. 

No its not a game, but the amount of “whatever” that went into this series characters and character designs (particularly in the early seasons) is something I really admire. Not so much because its a brand new thing, I was doing that shit years early, but Adventure Time seemed to legitimize that approach to characters and I will be pushing that idea as far as I can in Shooty and the Catfish. Coming out of left field is my favorite game of all time, Resident Evil 4.

RE4 might seem like a weird choice for inspiration when your talking about a  RPG Maker game, especially one that has no real ties to survival horror, buuut... that’s not what I love about RE4. Actually, I have tried to take a few ideas from RE4. First of all Leon Kennedy was a big inspiration for the personality of Shooty. Leon (in RE4 anyway) is the all American hero, his moral code says no to drugs and sex but he is more than happy to leave hundreds dead in his wake without blinking an eye, all the while making horrible one liners that he seems to legitimately think are bad ass. He is a great character and remarkably well written (in the context of the game as opposed to classically well written). On top of that I I want to implement a similar combat system, specifically for Shooty. Shotgun for crowd control, Rifle for airborn enemies, pistol for general use, knife for when you are out of ammo or when you are trying to converse it. These are real time combat mechanics that I am hoping to translate into a 2D turn based RPG. Will they work? I don’ t know, Only way to find out is to try. And yes, Shooty and the Catfish will have its own version of the Merchant and he will “buy that at a high price”. Lastly, and the one I have brought up in the past, is Demons Souls.

I have been pretty open in the past with talking about how a lot of the maps in Shooty and the Catfish are 2D reinterpretations of Demons Souls maps. They obviously wont be 1:1 recreations, but more taking the principles of the level design in the game and applying that to a completely new game play style and point of view. Level design is a subject I find endlessly fascinating and generally in RPG Maker games its largely considered unimportant. I for one disagree and I feel like its something that should be able to elevate a generic RPG Maker game into something more. I want to learn and the best way to do that is to learn from the best, and imo, nobody in the business does level design as well as FromSoftware. You could consider Shooty and the Catfish a retro inspired deconstruction of Demon Souls level design in a way. Once again how that will translate to game play is entirely up in the air. Also taken from the Souls series is the idea of your currency and experience being tied together, forcing you as a player to choose between buying equipment and material for your journey, or to level up. Its going to be a linear game with one ending, but I want how the player reaches that goal to be as open as possible from a character building point of view. I could write more but at this point I think this post is well and truly long enough, maybe I will do a follow up post at a later time.  If you made it this far, well, thanks for reading, its much appreciated. I will see you again next time with a much smaller post I think, we will see!