#i have missed his specific brand of Deeply Repressed

[heretherebedork]

Ter is an asshole but if he's also so deep in the closet he's discovered a land beyond Narnia and is taking that out on himself and Dee by flirting with him and using him to express feelings he's afraid of in himself and then trying to figure out how to keep feeling those things without having to do what he views as a huge risk and like, he's an asshole and he is horrible but there could be so much more.

There probably isn't.

But the idea of self-hating gay man who saw Dee as a chance to feel something without a risk only to fall in love with an actual out gay man... I want to believe in that story. I want to see that Ter is an asshole not because he's in the closet but because of how he treats people who aren't in the closet.

I want complexity and layers and to feel bad for him because he hates that side of himself so much but to also know that he is a fucking asshole for expressing his own self-hatred that way.

[justimajin]

Catching a Case of the Doctor Blues ⌠Part 13⌡

⇢ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

⇢ Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst

↳ (2.3k) Doctor/Surgeon AU, Enemies to Lovers AU

⇢ Summary: When asked about Dr. Kim, a string of beautifully aligned words are ready spew from your lips. You could possibly go on and on about how his wonderful stubbornness wasn’t similar to talking to a brick wall, or how his observation skills were especially great in preparing your blood vessels for a drastic rupture or even how one gracious stare of his nearly had you on the verge of ripping your essential documents in half. But it seems that, perhaps, there was a lot more to Dr. Kim then what meets the eye…

⇢ Warnings: Dr. L/N and Dr. Kim actually having a decent conversation 

⇢  Moodboard Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

⇢ Next Update: Tuesday, June 4

A patient in distress? 

You can comfort them.

Reports needing to be filed?

It’ll take you only five minutes.

Conducting an intensive operation? 

Save for a long string of hours, but otherwise a task that can be completed.

Inviting Dr. Kim to go get coffee with you?

A huge error sign is ringing inside your head, screaming at you for even trying to do this and screeching that there was no way a positive outcome could actually happen.

But you ignore that sign, acknowledging the advice that had been given to you these past couple of days and trying to make use of it. After all, you were even getting chance to go out somewhere that was other than work and this leads to the hope that perhaps the change of environment will allow your evening to run by smoothly and pleasantly.

However, that reassurance doesn’t do any wonders to solve the multitude of problems you keep facing.

What should you wear? What time should you get there by? What are you even going to talk about?

These questions aren’t very easily ignored and one of them roughly get an answer when you just opt out to wearing a pair of jeans combined with a simple black dress shirt. Though, as you take one glance in the mirror at your attire, you get the strange urge to just rip it all off and change back into your comfortable pajama’s; completely away from the impending interaction you had inevitably set up for yourself.

The constant glances at the clock are also taking their own toll on you when you have absolutely no clue if you should be early for polite reasons, exactly on time so you don’t appear to be waiting too long or late to show you don’t care for the meeting as much even though you clearly asked for it.

Taking one final glimpse in the mirror, you deeply inhale and try to calm your fleeting mess of emotions.

Stop freaking out Y/N, it’s just coffee with a colleague, you’ll have a nice time and strike some conversation, then you can come home and bury yourself for eternity for having this idea.

With one final stare, you crack the door open and hope to yourself that you hadn’t made a huge mistake.

You arrive exactly on time and grimace a bit on the inside when you find yourself alone standing outside the shop. But of course, you can’t expect that he’ll be there on time like you and now you begin wondering if coming late was the better optio-

“Dr. L/N?”

The voice shuts down your trail of thoughts and you’re pleasantly greeted to Dr. Kim, but taking in his appearance leaves you a bit perplexed.

It’s strange to say you’ve only seen Dr. Kim in normal clothing briefly when you were considerably sick, but even in that instance it was hard getting a glance at the doctor when you were spiking up at high temperatures and struggling to breathe from all the congestion.

However now, you can properly see him and he appears to dress similar to that specific day – a tucked in colourful shirt with elegant swirls printed on combined with a dark trench coat hanging off of him. Based on just observing him, you could tell that he was interested in high branded clothing when not adorning the white coloured coat. It’s a nice change, causing even you to admit that the man knows how to look proper even when meeting you like this.

“Shall we go inside?” He asks and you nod, slowly trailing behind him.

But then again as you reflect on the absence of the coat, it keeps dawning on you more that this encounter was definitely stepping outside of the usual day to day basis you were comfortably associated with.

The interior isn’t too bad, with freshly warm coffee being brewed in the background and the endless chitter chatter of others flowing into your ears. You’re extremely grateful for it, as it’s the only thing holding together the dead-panned silence resting within the air you share when somehow both of you have already managed to sit down and order, yet your gazes are firmly locked on your drinks.

Of course its awkward; it was something you had expected when this truly was out of the blue. Yet from all the instances you had with the man to the pieces of perspectives you have plucked out from your co-workers, you are certain that something has changed.

However, there is still a layer of built up confusion inside you on how to take the next step.

You quickly glance at him and widen your eyes when in fact, he wasn’t relaxed either with the situation just like you. His eyes occasionally drift off to the window outside and he lifts his hand ever so often to place on the side of his cheek, tapping his fingers mindlessly.

Although it was easy to tell he was nervous by the way it was radiating off his stance, your eyes drift over to the full cup of coffee before him.

“You…don’t like coffee?” You ask and his continued silence is the only indication of a response for you when he uncomfortably shifts.

Your eyes widen and with a sigh, you repress the abundant urge to kick yourself. You had asked him to come all the way here with you and yet failed to grasp that what you had in mind wouldn’t be to his liking.

But then…he could have refused…right?

You discard that thought, knowing what you needed to do now.

“Do you want to go outside?”

Although the shop was comfy with its appearance, the built up awkward tension and his natural dislike for the substance isn’t going to help you much. Your reasoning also dips into the fact that that he’s directly planted in front of you and with absolute certainty you can declare that talking like this isn’t going to be especially great for you in particular.

Heading out of the shop proves to be an idea you wished had before as the light breeze actually sooths down the inner turmoil brewing inside of you. You even acknowledge that it was doing Dr. Kim good as well when the two of you weren’t trapped and confined to a single space.

“Why don’t you like coffee?”

“Too bitter.” He explains, “It’s the same for alcohol, it’s too bitter for me.”

“Then why did you agree to get coffee?” If Dr. Kim didn’t like the idea, he could have easily expressed his dislike for it.

“Because you asked me to come.”

You widen your eyes, opening and closing your mouth several times.

“I see…” It’s all you can muster up to say.

“So you grew up in Daegu?” He makes eye contact with you and the sudden curiosity leaves you puzzled.

But you decide that there was no harm in telling him, “I lived there with my mother for a while before I was taken in by my aunt and moved here.”

“How...was your aunt?” He sounds deeply contorted in thought.

“My aunt…” Truth be told, you aren’t a huge fan of the woman, who was only borderline obsessed with the notion that she finally had someone to take care of. But it can simply be thrown away; all the love and support she had given to you when you had ultimately decided that becoming a doctor was the pursuit of your life. “Is a kind lady, she took me in when I was really young and had supported my dreams. But she could be overbearing at times.”

“Do you miss Daegu?”

You contemplate, turning to him, “Sometimes? I have a career here but I left a lot behind.” A distant look remerges in your eyes, “I think more than Daegu, I miss my childhood friend the most.”

“Friend?”

You nod, “I had moved into the house next door to his and my health wasn’t the best, but he would always come over and try to lift my spirits.” A nostalgic sigh escapes from you, “I don’t know where he is now, but I hope he’s doing well.”

You turn to Dr. Kim with a smile at the memories, but you only find his gaze locked onto you. It isn’t stern and direct as it usually was but is contorted with something more, causing you grimace at the abrupt load of sheer pain filling his eyes.

“Cherry blossoms?”

He flinches, snapping back instantly when you point behind him at the petals fluttering down. “They’re finally blooming.” You say in astonishment and an entire roster of emotions are swirling around in his eyes, from grief to utter regret. You walk closer to observe them more as they slowly dance down and one rests itself in your palm.

“Didn’t Daegu have festivals for the cherry blossoms when they bloomed?” You turn to him when you recall that he had too said he originated from there.

He hums, “Every year. And everyone would gather to see them.”

You let out a sigh, “I wish I got to see it before I left.” You shake your head, “My aunt was in such a hurry to leave.”

She was.

Because I wanted to go with you.

“I never got to see them either.” He says instead and curiously you turn to him.

“What about you? Why did you leave?”

He pauses, eyes void of anything when his lips set into a repressed line, “I couldn’t stay there anymore.” His voice comes out harsher, a darker undertone lacing it. But he notices you staring at him and he lightens it up, “I left someone behind as well.”

You hum, “Who was this person?”

“Just someone...I had a crush on.” Your eyes widen dramatically and you stare at Dr. Kim bewildered to which a small smile tugs on his lips.

“A crush on?” Your mind is going on rapid whirlwinds at the new information being thrown out when you can’t even consider associating the concept of love with Dr. Kim. However, it makes you think in a different way, that perhaps there was more to the doctor that you simply hadn’t seen of.

He nods and the smile doesn’t fade off from his features. He almost looks like a young boy who was experiencing the feelings for the first time and not the established doctor you know so well.

“I unfortunately never got to confess. Like your friend, I hope she is doing well too.” You smile at the idea and there’s a warm, mutual feeling between you two, like there’s actual air you can breathe from and it isn’t considered horrific to be within the same proximity as him.

The rest of your evening actually passes by well, from you and Dr. Kim conversing about matters in the hospital with the recent surgery you had conducted together to then shifting completely to personal topics in which he seem invested about knowing from how you grew up in your time in Daegu. Its something you simply brush off considering that it was not only your hometown but his own as well and you welcome expressing thoughts from the past that you never imagined talking about alongside the doctor.

He eventually ends up taking you to your apartment and there is an immense load of tension getting uplifted from your shoulders that the time spent wasn’t entirely awkward as you had initially wondered. Instead, it was so much more interesting to talk to him outside of your professional workplace and just to simply understand Dr. Kim on an actual personal basis.

But the one spark that brings this evening to its close, is the question that had been hanging by a mere thread for majority of the time and you assume now is potentially the best time to bring it up.

“Dr. Kim?”

You’re stationed right in front of your apartment’s door and from extreme lengths, the recollection of you dragging him inside flashes through when you had gotten sick. You decide to caste that cringing thought away completely however. For your own sanity.

He hums, his gaze not feeling like it was attempting to judge you in anyway or as if it was infuriated with your simple existence. It’s instead a comfortable gaze, eyes that are relaxed and gleaming with a tint of playfulness as they draw curiously onto you.

“I know...” You begin, wanting to word this properly, “We’ve had our differences in the past, especially at work. But I do believe something had changed.” Carefully observing him while speaking, you notice that he just nods and doesn’t attempt to inject with anything you are saying.

“So what I wanted to ask was,” You pause, scoffing slightly in the back of your mind when words Yoongi had once spoken emerge, “Can we…”

“Personally, I think the two of you could be good friends.”

“Can we possibly be friends Dr. Kim?”

[ayankun]

real quick before I get into season 6

So this is my second time watching Season 6 and I’m p. excited.  This last week or so I’ve been dredging up bits and pieces, but most of it is a blur.  It seems the memories that lasted this whole year were mostly of the huge armored truck and the nonbinary character who works at *spoilers*’s tech startup.

I’m curious to see if the second time through it’ll settle in like it belongs.  I remember Season 5 really didn’t make any sense to me until I saw it again.

But really I’m just excited that in 11 hours I can watch the new stuff?!

But first, before I forget, here’s my last thoughts on Season 5.

So remember how I was surprised at Season 1′s structure, that it folded up nicely down the middle with some pretty tidy symmetry?

None of the other seasons do that.

Instead, I remember particularly strongly how jarring the end of the Ghost Rider arc was in the middle of Season 4.  And then again when the (what I’m calling) Kasius arc also wrapped up mid-season.

I’m not sure when I read about it, but it probably was circa Ghost Rider, that they’d intentionally decided on what I’m pretty sure they called “pods” of episodes, these seasons-within-a-season sort of narratives.

Season 2 sort of kicks it off, what with the race to Terragenesis taking eps 1-10 and the Afterlife/splinter SHIELD stories filling 11-22.  Then Season 3 has the monolith/Maveth mystery to start, followed by Hive & the Inhumans for the second half.  S4 is super poddy, obviously branded as Ghost Rider/Agents of Hydra, and S5 also splits neatly into future!Lighthouse and present day!Lighthouse.

Two points to make on this:

Kasius is such a rockstar villain that I feel really bad for Hale/Ruby/Talbot.  They’re so apples and oranges but having the highlight come first allows for unfavorable comparisons to be made.  It’s like asking any well-to-do Kree to compare Xandarian snail to oops all berries.

Good thing they’d had all this practice writing complete stories in 12 eps, since I’m hoping Season 6 (and obvs Season 7) will still feel as fully formed as their longer antecedents.

Anyway, that first point is my major point for S5.

S3 already feels like the second half of S2, and its internal halves are the most similar to each other as any of the other “pods,” so it’s not like people have a reason to go around saying “I liked the first half of the season waaay better than the second.”

(although I might.  I might say that, actually.  but not because the halves were branded separately from one another)

And S4, though the two halves are barely identifiable as coming from the same show much less the same season, they’re both good.  Robbie Reyes is perfect.  The effort to incorporate new MCU topics/aesthetic from Doctor Strange is great.  Robots who just want to be a real girl is my JAM.  All the Framework cameos really make my day!  And then Robbie Reyes comes back all deus ex machina (ironic) and saves the day, and

it makes sense that he does because the function and nature of the Darkhold was well established in part 1 and

it’s GREAT that he does because he’s perfect and we miss him.

Then here comes S5.  I really really respect so much about the creative decisions that took the story where it went (ie, outside Papa MCU’s sphere of interference), and getting to reuse the same set in a different context while minimizing “on-location” shoots is just technical and financial genius, okay. 

But there’s so much about the first half, in the future, that compels me waaaaaaay more than the gritty anger of the second half. 

Kasius, WOW what a villain.  Dominic Rains, everyone.  I have nothing unkind to say about the performance, the character, anything.  Impeccable.  Spectacular.  Perfection.

The mystery of the season opener!  We had the tag scene where Coulson’s “in space” and plenty of time to ruminate on the how and why, especially with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 coming out right as S4 ended and Thor: Ragnarok literally sizzling in the theaters at the same time as this season started.  They answer the question by the end of the episode, but not before several characters come up with and pursue several different theories, and that’s fun.

What a way to capitalize on the Inhuman storyline your show’s been about for years now, without forcing Papa MCU to contend with all this good work you’ve been doing.  Just go somewhere he can’t reach you (the future), and then un-write all of it anyway.  V. tidy.  Extra style points will be awarded.

LEITMOTIFS.  If y’all’ve seen BSG, then you know Bear McCreary is a master of the art.  But this season has so many good themes, my friends.  The Daisy/Quake theme that’s been knocking around for a season is here in full force, and Sinara’s is the best bad guy theme you could have wanted, and dearest sweetest Flint has the best great guy theme you ever heard.

Just, while we’re here.  Sinara.  She says nothing for episodes (it feels like, I wasn’t counting) and her first line is a scornfully growled “compassion.”  Give it up for Florence Faivre !!!  She hardly has any lines but you always know exactly what she’s thinking and what she’s about.  Sinara and Kasius have the richest on-screen chemistry of anybody on any show from any era fight me on this I dare you.

Mack’s coming down from his second life in the Framework, and that suuuuucks that these folks never have a moment to rest before barreling into their next story.  But he gets to be a father to Flint!  And Yo-Yo gets to be a mother!!!  UGH why couldn’t they have brought Flint instead of Deke lololol oh well.

I think I know another reason why Lincoln seems overhyped to me.  That other Inhuman, Ben I think his name is?  He’s in like two episodes, serves a narrative purpose, and is disposed.  I know Lincoln’s in like 18 times as many episodes but they have the same exact overall impact on my brain-hole.  Imagine if it was Ben that came back with them instead of Deke.  That’s how I feel about Lincoln.  Like, how did this obviously disposable character make it this far?

Then you have Deke.  You love to hate him.  He’s a very well-fashioned character who is flawless in making you feel the way the showrunners want you to feel.  That’s the kind of character that gets killed off twice and still comes back, and it doesn’t surprise you.

So, Enoch.  Enoch is everyone’s favorite character, right?  Right.  Give me genderless robots with a soft spot for humanity ANY DAY.  PLEASE where are they I need them.  (I’m un-repressing memories of S6 and I feel like somehow I should be careful what I wish for)  Man I remember with 1000% clarity the absolute glee I felt sitting down for the opening montage of S5 the first time, how ballsy weird it was, just watching this freaky bald alien of a man go swimming with some fun electro pop number playing in the background.  100/10 please make more television like this

 More monoliths!!  The time one is so pretty!

(remember when there were more monoliths and no one knew where they came from or what they did but then it didn’t matter because they got instantly exploded?)

The low-key obvious answers to the season’s questions, what with the Inhumans running all over the shop, Quake there to tear everything down and Flint there to put the pieces back together I’m not crying you’re crying

Oh man, and Simmons getting to mentor not one but two Inhuman youths to be confident and trust in themselves and their powers.  What a ways from the fear-panic response to Daisy when she turned.

Also, yeah, it has to be said, this show’s blatant “you’re different and that’s okay” agenda sits very well with me.  Agents of SHIELD says LGBTQ+ rights!

So anyway, part 2 falls a little flat for me because its strength is its themes, but I’m not really compelled by the stakes and definitely not by the villains and not really even by the intra-team drama.

Obviously S2 touched on parenthood, but it was pretty specific.  S5 digs in and brings us a lot more on the topic.

Kasius desperately desires his father’s approval but very deeply despises the methods and the people who earn it.

Hale was indoctrinated by Hydra and was very earnest in wanting to uphold the values of the organization, until the organization (and Whitehall) shared with her their narrow appreciation of the gift of her loyalty.  Even then, she struggles to make sense of this loyalty, only realizing too late that being a good Hydra pawn and a good parent are categorically mutually exclusive.

Ruby, obviously, is like a mini-Kasius, the brave-faced rebel who wears her mother’s disappointment on her sleeve like a badge of honor to pretend that it isn’t crippling her.

The Von Strucker kid, boy is he messed up (and his Hydra dad had something to do with it)

((echos of Ward are still heard even this far after his demise, and we know what his father figures were like))

Poor Talbot, got some brain damage and some Hydra conditioning on top of that, cracked that noggin wide open.  He just wanted to do good by his family.  Just wanted his son to know he loves him.

Polly and Robin.  The daughter who needs constant special care because she’s stuck inside her own mind and the mother who’s been through hell and back and still manages to do her best.  Even when she knows she won’t always be there for her daughter.  Even when she knows she’ll be replaced.

May getting a glimpse at the life she and Andrew once talked about.  Getting a chance to do right by that little girl.

Mack recovering from getting that same glimpse, from the echoing memories of a life time spent with his greatest regret erased.  Being roped into being a thug and threatening that dad without knowing the meaning behind his threat -- being told that people like him don’t deserve the privilege of parenthood.  But then getting to know Flint, and having Yo-Yo at his side while they fast track this kid through all the things he’s gonna need to know in order to be the Big Damn Hero the world needs him to be.

The timey-wimey promise that FitzSimmons will one day be parents to a brilliant daughter who will unfortunately give birth to a Deke.

Coulson and Daisy.  Another parent placing enormous expectations on his daughter, desperate that she be ready for his responsibilities because his time is running out.  A daughter who mishandles these expectations and refuses to stop fighting a losing battle, not because she’s not ready to step up, but because she doesn’t want to face the fact that she’s losing the man who raised her.

Anyway, aside from all this good Theme work, part 2 wades perfunctorily through musty remnants of the previous season, from The Doctor to The Russian.  Which makes sense, because that season ended in a way that left so many loose threads -- but then this season comes along and summarily ties them up, all cute little bows, the lot of them.  Dusts its hands.  Nothing to see here.  Move along now.  Time’s up.

[sleepypie1212]

Sleepypie’s Guide to Kdrama Love: or, 10 Steps to What is TOTALLY a Healthy Relationship*

I wrote a thing. Did you miss me? 

Have you ever wondered how all those kdrama girls do it? Do you too yearn to enact their principles in your life and achieve the same effect? Yearn no more! Here's my handy ten step guide to making a relationship work, k-drama style! Step 1: Be a Candy Remember, you must be poor but plucky, working a multitude of small-paying part-time jobs and living in cramped rooftop apartment. You must be absolutely wallowing in debt you've inherited, yet still face each coming day with a brave smile and optimistic, can-do attitude. Family's a no-no, unless it's a) your beloved father in a coma he won't wake up from, whose expensive hospital bills you must pay, b) an evil stepsister who devotes her every spare moment to making your life hell, or c) a missing  brother you worry about and look for, but who will only conveniently reappear at the end to alleviate any worries about your right to be happy or the potentially incestuous nature of your romance. Do try and have one female friend you will be able to turn to for relationship advice in the future. Her advice will always be terrible, but that won't matter, she's just there to point out that you like your romantic lead before you're willing to admit it yourself. Don't worry if she's better at makeup and fashion than you are. Although you will always complain about being poor and ugly, you will be effortlessly beautiful at all times, your clothes will always be name-brand, and as a bonus, your cell phone will always be the newest model. On the flip side, I hope you like subway.

Step 2: Meet Cute It's time to meet the love of your life! Now, he must be strikingly handsome, impossibly rich, and, most importantly, an apparently ice-cold bastard (don't worry, he's actually a giant softie hiding a tragic past behind those barriers and just waiting for the right girl to come along and teach him the power of love. We'll get to that in Step 3). Remember, it's important you meet in an unplanned, painfully awkward way that leaves him with a strong distaste for you. Tried and true methods include forcing him to give you a lift in the rain, throwing up on him during a plane ride, or tripping and making him catch you in one smooth graceful movement while his important papers for that big meeting that will define the rest of his life go flying. He should abandon you/make loud noises of despair and disgust/drop you at the earliest possible moment. Congratulations! You are now fated to be. Don't forget to call him a rude bastard once he's gone! Step 3: Forced Proximity The most important step. Somehow or other, you and the One must be forced to spend copious amounts of time together. This can be for almost any reason--maybe you've started working at his company, maybe you two enter a contract relationship for whatever reason (usually it's to get his matchmaking mother off his back, but bonus points if he wants one of your organs or its his crackpot grandfather's idea), maybe he moves into your house against your protests because he's being hounded by reporters and needs a place to hide. Regardless of the whys, you are now obligated to breathe each other's air for large quantities of time. Don't worry if it leads to a plenty of friction initially--that's normal! Soon, you'll realize all that bickering you do is actually cover for your simmering sexual tension. Arguments will now end with long, lingering gazes at each others lips. Curse words will start to be endearments. You will both quickly realize how noble and kind the other actually is, despite misleading first impressions. To hasten this process, I suggest shared babysitting sessions, eating homecooked meals at your table (don't be surprised if he's never had a homecooked meal before--his parents have usually never had time for him, and he will probably burst into spontaneous tears over the first mouthful), and drinking beer together on your rooftop, star-gazing. These situations are very conducive to deep conversations that don't seem to have much context--don't worry about that. You are Baring Your Souls to each other, an important part of the process. If you get the chance to be in a life-endangering situation, seize it, so he can rescue you dramatically, and then reproach you for being foolish, thus revealing how deeply he does actually care.

Step 4: Jealousy Right about now, his First Love should reappear on the scene. She will be, without a doubt, Unpleasant, especially to you, since she will sense how close you and the One have become merely by witnessing you two laughing together as you walk care-freely down the street (I suggest you be coming back from something he originally protested was for children--an amusement park, perhaps--but which he came to deeply enjoy. Be eating ice cream and get some on his nose for added effect, as his playful retaliation will reek of repressed emotions). He, however, will not be able to see this, and will instead be incredibly confused by her reappearance. He will try very hard to reconnect with her, refusing to believe he has changed since meeting you (a lamentably useless denial, since everyone else can clearly see, and frequently mentions, how much nicer he seems). This will be a bleak time for you, as you will be deeply saddened by his apparent affection for Another. Luckily for you, the Second Lead will be around to catch you! He will have been a neighbor, co-worker, or someone you viewed as a kid brother. He will do everything in his power to be there for you, though he will never explicitly state his affection (don't worry, second leads never do). Unfortunately, nothing will cheer you up. You will be  constantly reminded of the One by strangely specific things--a cup of coffee, a floating balloon, a teddy bear--immediately saddening you. Don't be too downcast! Unbeknownst to you, the One will witness you apparently being happy with the Second Lead and be absolutely consumed by an ironic jealousy, leading him to do all kinds of delightfully petty things you own't understand and find peculiar.

Step 5: The Kiss Good job, you've made it to your hallmark moment, the one that that will set the seal on your relationship with the One, affirming you will survive any and every obstacle thrown at you (there will be many), and haunt you in a series of never ending flashbacks for the rest of your romantic life! The One has finally been pushed to the breaking point, and is no longer able to deny the strength of his passion. Depending on the sub-species of drama hero you have acquired, the kiss may take one of several shapes. It may be exquisitely planned, with fireworks, roses, and a heart-stopping declaration of love. More frequently, it is a surprise to both of you, the culmination of weeks of building tension. You will always be in a beautiful location. You will always look stunning. He will always look stunning. You will probably have been fighting immediately before. When he kisses you, remember to stand stiffly, staring transfixed before you with shock. If emotions are especially wrought, you may cry, so that he may wipe the tears away with his fingers. . If you're unlucky, you might not remember this first kiss due to temporary ghostly possession or his penchant for freezing time at significant moments. But odds are that means you get a second first kiss! Who doesn't love that? And on the positive side, from now on, the One will be incredibly sweet, self-sacrificing, and adoring. He will not in any possible way resemble the man you first met. Except he will still be smoking hot. Savor this moment, because you will shortly be very unhappy indeed 

Step 6: The Obstacles I warned you they were coming, didn't I? Because now that you and the One have kissed and thus declared your undying passion for each other, his family will rise up in protest. They will seek to humiliate you at every opportunity, try to bribe you to leave him with money (you must be deeply affronted by this, and bravely choking back your tears, condemn them for not realizing you have pride and that not everything can be bought), and/or destroy your life by any possible means. I would suggest investing in insurance, because you are about to be kicked out of your home, lose your job and gangsters will shortly corner you in alleyway (don't worry, the One will save you, if only so he can berate himself later for bringing all this down on your head).  If he has no family (this is rare, and means he is either an alien, a time-traveler, or a cartoon character transported to your world by an unexplained deus ex machina), he will realize that he will soon be compelled to return to his planet/time/dimension by impenetrable forces, leaving you vulnerable to the enemies he has made on your planet/time/dimension who will seek vengeance on you as soon as his back is turned. 

Step 7: The Noble Idiocy Sigh. It's unavoidable, so grind your teeth now and get it over with. The One, deciding that somehow he is making your life miserable/endangering you, will decide to leave you. He won't explain why--instead, he'll give you a terrible reason for leaving. Usually it's something far more stupid and hurtful, like he never actually loved you and that you were just an amusement. He will then vanish from your life, returning to his original sphere like he never left it, and plunging everyone's life into untold clouds of freaking gloom. Go ahead and sob, no one's judging you. It's not your fault your boyfriend makes shitty decisions like a little kid instead of talking things over with you like an adult. If it makes you feel better, he's even more miserable, and he spends an ungodly amount of time staring at the little trinket you gave him that one time, pining for days gone by. If it wasn't so stupid, it would be hilarious. Step 8: The Reunion You will unexpectedly bump into each other on the street or at the office, and he will gaze at you soulfully. You will turn away, still deeply hurt by his abandonment, but it's all going to be ok, because now having seen you in person once more, all the moronic reasons this seemed like a good idea to him in the first place will become irrelevant and he will start popping up in your life like a toadstool, giving you the chance to exact petty but oh-so-satisfying vengeance if you so desire. I suggest so desiring. It's massively entertaining. But only push him to the point where he confesses why he left in the first place, and then melt like the marshmallow you are. You may have to chase after him in the rain, but it's fine--it will provide a particularly striking backdrop to your makeup kiss and give him the opportunity to shelter you with his umbrella, letting himself get unnecessarily soaked in the process (he'll probably be ill afterwards and collapse, but don't worry. Let him lie in bed a few days, with a saline solution and spoon feed him porridge and he'll be right as rain. Er. No pun intended.) Step 9: The Final Problem Everything that came before was build-up for this, and now you must face down whatever issue has cast a cloud over your fated relationship all this time. Is one of you dying? Has one of you promised to go to jail for the other? Has his family threatened to disinherit him if he continues to see you? Fret not, everything will be magically cleared away. There will be a miracle cure, a guns drawn showdown where the actual murderer is finally caught, or his domineering father will have a stroke and become a much kinder, gentler person.  Along the way, it will be revealed that you and the One actually met as children, either only briefly or were best friends until one of you moved/lost your family/faked your own death, and in reality are each other's long forgotten First Loves. Smell that? That's Fate. Finally, you're almost there! 

Step 10: The Ending This is the trickiest part to pull off, but having made it this far, I'm sure you can do it. It's clear to you and to everyone else you and the One will be together forever now. Nothing can tear you apart. But do you want to get married right away in a big, beautiful ceremony? Do you want to date for awhile, spending a lot of time sitting in front of beautiful sunsets with the One? Do you choose to inexplicably study abroad for a brief period of time, returning only then to fully consummate your love? The choice is yours, but whatever you choose, you've earned a stunning conclusion to all your suffering. *not applicable to sageuk storylines which are more inclined to heavily feature torture, blood feuds, hanboks, flowing hair, horses, and reincarnation. See my Ten Steps to Surviving a Sageuk for that one.

[chairlosophy]

45 Chara Dev Qs

ok this is probably going to be for All The Spoilers because i dont give a shit and boy’s dead so

shitte under the cut

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Genta has... a lot of siblings, and all of them are technically him. He’s the youngest of 14 surviving clones, 15 if one counts the original Genta Sugai. Most of them are a bit distant from one another due to the nature of their work, but he gets along fairly well with the ones he used to live with - as they’re all named after Greek Letters, these Gentas were dubbed Lambda, Omnicron, and Tau. 

Out of those three, he’s probably closest to Lambda. Both of them went through similar experiences at the hands of the project they were created for. The distance is still there, though.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Genta’s never had a real relationship with his mother due to #CloneLyfe, but what he can recall of her from memories of a past life are fairly positive. 

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Same as above tbh. He looks up to his father’s image to some degree, though, and has tried to model himself after him a bit. 

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

He’s... been through a lot of these sorts of situations throughout his lifetimes lmAO. Genta Sugai’s 19 years of life have been kind of dubious. Yuka and Masashi might have Gained Knowledge of probably the most turbulent time of his life.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

When he was alive, he’d generally have his ID, his contact lens case, a couple of slightly chewed pens and a notebook full of thoughts that occurred to him for contemplation on his person at all times. 

Outside of the game, his wallet, phone, and a half smushed/empty box of candy cigarettes could usually be found on his person as well.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

He used to have reoccurring dreams of being underwater, but not drowning within it often. There’d be nothing for miles but the steady stream of bubbles that would accompany his breathing. He could never explain why that would put him at ease, but it would.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

He dreams of a city skyline in the late evening often, blurred faces interspersed under the empty lights below.

And then he hits the ground.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

There has been a somewhat uncanny amount of gun usage in Genta’s past oh christ

The first thing he’d ever struck was a person. He wasn’t ready mentally or physically, and his piss poor shot missed, ripped through some of their hair and split open their ear. It wasn’t his finest moment. He wised up a bit after that. 

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Yes! He’s closer to living at lower middle class at present. He was born into the upper crust, though. 

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Definitely more. He’s self-conscious about his body in a lot of ways. He gets warm really easily though, so he tends to try and keep his extremities below his elbows and knees uncovered if possible.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Probably the first night of the second week after he first arrived in Brooklyn. He was thirteen and hadn’t known the language at the time, was left alone away from his family, and had run out of what little money he’d had by that time. Hunger was starting to set in, trying to seek help from the authorities was Against The Rules, and he wasn’t entirely sure where he was able to go from there. 

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Any time he’s writing, mostly. It sort of puts him into a zen-like state of sedation and helps him calm down. 

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Not the sight of it so much beyond a sympathetic ‘yikes’ if there’s a lot of it, but he’ll be a big baby if he’s expected to actually touch it.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Faces, usually. He’ll remember names if he can make a direct connection between them and something else, though.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

He’s preoccupied with money in the way that someone who’s used to both having a lot and then having very little would be. He gets indecisive when he goes shopping a lot, as he’s always tempted by more lavish goods and prone to impulse buys, but then has to scold himself on the notion that he can’t afford them... even when he’s in a position when he could comfortably do so without any major loss on his part. Don’t send him in to pick up anything unless you’re explicit on the brand and size, he’ll take hours.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Genta’s very success-driven, for the most part. You can’t achieve happiness unless you’re able to get yourself what you want out of life, in his view. 

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

He probably wouldn’t be able to name one specifically. He was more occupied with other children than he was toys. 

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

He’d admire both, really. You need the latter to get the former.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Although he does his best to try and repress it, Genta is ultimately selfish. Although he will try to consider the other person’s needs, he tends to put himself and what he thinks is best first. He thinks with his desires over communicating well sometimes, which... tends to land him in hot water in most of his personal relationships.

Also his flirting technique is kind of terrible being real

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

He tends to put himself apart from most people in some regards, but most of his comparisons tend to be critical when made to others. Usually, it’s only over small things like appearance, though. 

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

His worldview immediately suggests to him that he’s at fault for his own actions and knows it, but the petty, childish part of him would be inclined to blame others. He’ll accept responsibility when appropriate generally, though.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Passion, open-mindedness, and a good sense of humor. He has a lot of respect for people able to overcome their own personal failings to be better or stronger than they used to be in some ways. 

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

There’s nothing he really dislikes trait wise in isolation, per se - it’s more combinations, and how the person shows them through their actions. For example, being selfish is one thing, but if you are selfish in a way that deeply inconveniences him or harms someone he cares for, he’s not a big fan of that. He’s a little hypocritical sometimes in that way.  

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

On a surface level, Genta’s an open book. It doesn’t take much for him to accept what you’re saying as being true, and he’ll generally be content to consider you an honest person until you lie to him.

On a more private level, Genta is a fuckwad with 12 levels of baggage that he will only reveal in small bits, and will reel back the minute you react in a way he doesn’t care for. People he can ‘read’, or get a feel for easily are more likely to gain his trust than those he can’t. 

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

This kind of goes under the ‘people he can read’ banner - if he feels like he knows the person, he’ll be able to sus out when something is off. In that regard, he’s willing to suspect just about anyone. His attitude towards this, however, depends on what he’s suspecting them of. Passive aggression bordering on openly argumentative is probably on the worse end of the scale, but he can let most things roll off his back pretty easily.

26. How does your character behave around children?

He’s a little too lax with them and will generally let them get away with more than they should. He likes the way they think and approach things, and thinks they should be able to experience as much as they can on their own terms before society beats that sense of wonder out of them.

... but he probably isn’t the best babysitter for that reason. 

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Generally, it depends on the person and situation. If he’s more neutral towards you, he’s generally going to take a softer approach. Might debate how he’s right, but otherwise addresses it coolly. 

An easy way to tell if he’s actually attached to you if he if he instead gets petty and passive aggressive with you. If he values your opinions, he’ll take them personally. Generally his approach is to remove himself from the situation and come back when that happens, and then apologize for being an ass when he cools down. 

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

VERY slow. Generally, you’d have to fuck up big time for him to actually hit you. Genta dislikes violence, and would probably never raise a hand to a woman especially under most circumstances. Even if it kills him. 

Which it did.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

He’s never really been able to decide on that one. There’s so many options! Even now that he’s older, there’s still so many options! Life is grand. 

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Bodily fluids, mostly. Although he accepts them for what they are and in the situations they occur in, sweat especially tend to squick him a little bit. The second Tora motive killed him spiritually lmAO

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Whenever he’s writing. Or out working with his plants. It’s hard to feel uncomfortable when you’re gardening. 

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Any time he’s in Sarara’s presence

Having to be a public figure of sorts due to his talent. As much as the attention is validating and he enjoys talking, he’s really not used to to speaking to more than a room’s worth of people.The idea of being famous would be jarring to him. 

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Initially a little defensive, but more than willing to improve once he understood what they were criticizing, exactly. 

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

He’d probably want to keep with the same solution in case there was a possibility that they missed something, but if the other suggested method seemed to hold more potential, he definitely wouldn’t be opposed to switching.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

Physically affectionate and prone to light teasing. He’ll accommodate based on the other person, but if left to himself, expect lots of hugs and shoulder/head pats. 

Dudes might also get the chivalry treatment he usually only offers to girls at this point in that he’ll hold open doors for you and offer you his coat.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Passive aggressive and partial to rude commentary in general. He’s just generally worse at hiding his salt when he feels strongly about someone, be it one way or the other. 

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Does this seem like a man who has either

Probably honor, though. Gentleman’s code and all.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Generally, he’s more likely to try and confront a problem directly. However, deciding the best course of action in order to do that tends to take a while for him, so it might seem like avoidance.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Oh, probably. It was never enough of one to have left any real permanent damage on his psyche, though. 

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

With utmost respect. He tips well and is generally pretty forgiving with mixups/mistakes.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

In his head, he feels that anything one is able to have generally has to be earned. There’s still that spoiled part of him that feels a little entitled to things and gets disappointed when he doesn’t get them, though. 

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

There was an elderly bartender during his time in Brooklyn that took him in and allowed him to live with and work for her until he saved up enough money to return to Japan. As he knew he’d never really have a strong connection with his mother otherwise, he grew really attached to her. Unfortunately, due to circumstances, he’s been prohibited from seeing her again, but he decided to start trying to be a better person due to her influence. 

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Nooooot really? Don’t depend on this dude lol

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

He prefers to show it through action rather through words, but if he genuinely feels it and it’s what the other person wants to hear, it tends to be easier.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

He believes in reincarnation, mostly. Other lives to be lived. Now that he’s died, the ‘dying’ part sort of scares him more than anything, but prior to that, the idea never frightened him. It was a bit enthralling, even.