#i have like no other groceries for the rest of the week lmfao. i have a salad kit for probably tomorrow or tuesday but that's about it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jenrecs · 2 years ago

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i am already obsessed with this !! i think it's been like 4 months since i read your last series (wwh) and i have missed your writing so much !! i know xmas yoongi just came out but like, i missed that gradual build up that you get with a series y'know, especially with your series !!!!!!!! anyway i'm just gonna get into it. one chapter and mffmhh is already one of my fav series 😚

“Please, no,” you beg. “Please tell me this is a joke. I can’t live with a man. Do you know what men are like?”

literally the first line and i'm already obsessed with her. also the having to wear a bra all the time thing, babygirl sending you well wishes 😭 could never be me, i would die before i'd consider living with a male roommate (unless..... they are one of seven very specific people.....)

You won’t talk about how you wish Taehyung would offer more than his couch.

You won’t talk about how when he’d said, “You know, you could stay with me,” in that deep, comforting voice of his, your heart had run wild.

i'm so used to loving your other tae's and them being so flirty from the get-go that throughout this entire chapter i kept expecting smth romantic to happen even tho i know it's unrequited 💀

ngl i really really enjoyed all the details of the moving process and unpacking. it was satisfying for some reason, like i could imagine everything coming together so nicely and her getting to craft a whole space of her own, those paragraphs just felt so nice

Luckily, you’re saved from yourself by a knock at the front door. This strikes you as so polite, because not only is Namjoon going to literally live here, but also because the door is still propped wide open.

this made me smile askshfkg he is so 😭

He’s all in browns except for a pair of light-wash jeans. He’s got a dark brown beanie tugged low on his head, and even his thin, wire-frame glasses seem to be chosen for the vibe above all else.

WHY DID I NEVER THINK THAT MFFMHH!JOON WOULD WEAR GLASSES LMFAO THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING FOR ME. HOT HOT HOT

At one point you wander out of your room to get some water and you freeze in your bedroom doorway, struck by how lonely it feels.

ah the seed of angst... hate how this could potentially peak but i also love the pain. i am ready to be hurt

“JayKay!” you call happily. “Welcome to my house!”

He laughs, nose scrunching with delight. “Y/N,” he crows. “Where should I put the couch?”

i am so prone to jk that when he popped up i was like ah yes, my boyfriend is here kekekekekkeke 😌😚 and then i remembered that oops no we're not here for him 💀

Getting up the stairs with your groceries sucks, but you make it, panting like crazy as you finally unlock the front door and let yourself in.

literally same. as someone who lives on the 4th floor of a building with no elevator and who buys a shit ton of stuff every time she goes grocery shopping bc she only wants to buy groceries a couple times a week, i relate to this on a molecular level. having to haul all that shit is exhausting, i gotchu bbygurl

Conversation flows better with Taehyung in the mix; he talks so much, it almost doesn’t matter if anyone else does.

when i read this my first thought was why is he literally like my mom 😭 she could be calling me telling me smth i don't care about and i could leave the phone there for 15 whole minutes and come back and she'd still be talking 😭

Taehyung hugs you before leaving, and you snuggle into the embrace, body exhausted from the moving process. He rests his chin on top of your head, swaying you around a little bit.

i swooned ngl 😭 tae bear for the love of god please reciprocate my love 😭

Taehyung definitely sleeps around, but he’s surprisingly tight-lipped with you about it. You’re not sure if he’s sparing you, or he’s actually just a gentleman.

why did i not consider that tae would be seeing/sleeping w other people. oh oc bbygurl let me give you a hug 😭 it's okay we have joon now (who is much cleaner than tae so, you're already upgrading) you don't have to think about bear and his boy cooties anymore 😭

If you lose him, it isn’t just that you’ll lose him - and trust, that would be devastating - it’s also that you would be deeply alone.

pain, oh pain, oh pain, oh pain. very scared but cannot wait to watch shit blow up 😈 oh what a chapter, what a *chef's kiss* start to the series. i will lay down my life for this series. you are spectacular jo 🥰

I. My Wild-Running Heart || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love.

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

When your roommate bails last-second and leaves you completely in a bind for the new school year, your best friend Taehyung mentions that his friend Namjoon needs a place off-campus, too.

Section Warnings: language

WC: 7k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Friday August 28

“Please, no,” you beg. “Please tell me this is a joke. I can’t live with a man. Do you know what men are like?”

Taehyung, quite a specimen of man last time you checked, cocks an eyebrow at you. “Y/N,” he says flatly. “You’re doing it again.”

It meaning being dramatic, and you resent that implication.

You whine, shuffling your feet unhappily. “But Tae,” you say - okay, you whine. “If my roommate is a guy, then I have to wear a bra in the apartment, like, all the time.”

“Oh my god,” he says, throwing his hands in the air, completely over you. “Do you want my help or not? What are your other options right now?”

How nice of him to ask.

You’d been so excited to lease an apartment off-campus for your final year of university, even more excited to share it with a girl in your writing program named Penny. You hadn’t thought twice about putting the lease in only your own name, but when Penny texted you - the audacity of her to not even call - to say she wasn’t going to return in the fall after all, you were stuck with the responsibility.

So, since Taehyung asked, your options are this: pay the entire rent by yourself (impossible), or find a roommate, fast.

“Namjoon’s a really good friend of mine,” Taehyung tries again. “I am personally vouching for him that he’s not a weirdo or a creep. His building flooded and he’s in a bind - just like you. He’s nice, he’s smart, and he’s normal.”

“What about clean?” you prod.

Taehyung shrugs. “Cleaner than me.”

You sigh. You know Taehyung is right - you need someone quickly, and at this rate you’re bound to only find creeps. At least this guy - even though he’s a guy, which is your main issue - has been vetted.

“You’re not very clean,” you tell your best friend.

He grins at you, guilty as charged.

“Could we talk first?” you suggest, nerves churning. “Like, can I meet him?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you. “Did you think I was going to drop the key off at his place and say ‘okay, have fun!’?”

“Maybe!” you cry, feeling a little hysterical.

Taehyung rolls his eyes at you. “Want me to see if he can swing by the place tomorrow?”

The plan for the next day was originally for you two to load up your car through the morning, grab lunch somewhere, and then start moving your stuff into the apartment after you ate.

“Yeah,” you answered. “That actually sounds like a good plan. Then he can see the apartment, too. And you’ll be there with me.”

“Actually a good plan,” Taehyung parrots with a scoff. “Please.”

After your lunch date, Taehyung drops you back home so you can finish packing. You’d packed a lot already - all of your big pieces of furniture were there already, your bedroom now just a mess of random piles of clothing and your bare mattress on the ground. A lot of what you still had were things you knew you’d need to use again during the days you were starting to pack - toiletries, electronics, that kind of thing. With a sigh, you turn on some music and start pulling hangers out of your closet.

You think about your situation as you work. You’re disappointed about Penny - you’ve lost a roommate and a good friend, somehow. You’re nervous about meeting Taehyung’s friend Namjoon. You’re somehow both excited for and dreading the academic year starting - your final year, complete with a senior thesis course you’ll have to pass in June. And you’re excited for the apartment - your first one that isn’t an on-campus dorm.

No campus security knocking on the doors, no RA going through your fridge for forbidden liquor bottles, no shared hallway bathrooms. With your own bedroom in the apartment, you’re guaranteed a space that is just yours, a sanctuary where you can have the quiet you crave and aesthetic you want, your own four walls that are completely your own.

Taehyung’s apartment, which he shares with two friends, isn’t far from your new one - walking distance, actually. He’d offered you his couch there when Penny first bailed. But even if you took his offer, you’d be charged for breaking your lease, and you’d still have to find something more permanent - which would mean another security deposit, not to mention rent. As long as you kept the optimism that you’d successfully secure and keep a roommate, staying was the cheaper option.

You won’t talk about how you wish Taehyung would offer more than his couch.

You won’t talk about how when he’d said, “You know, you could stay with me,” in that deep, comforting voice of his, your heart had run wild.

Then he’d continued, “That couch isn’t too bad to sleep on, I’ve done it before. And the guys wouldn’t mind. Then you’d have time to find something new, maybe something you can afford alone?”

And your wild-running heart had stuttered, stumbled, caught its footing, stood still.

You can’t even get mad at him. He’s trying to help. It’s not his fault - at all - that he doesn’t know that your imagination leapt off a cliff at his words, was already picturing snuggling in his bed, those strong arms tight around your middle, was already picturing waking up to his sleepy smile.

You don’t pretend for even a second that it’s anyone’s fault but your own.

Around ten pm your Aunt Lin comes and knocks on your open door, looking down at the scene before her: you, sitting cross-legged on your bedroom floor, surrounded by half-closed boxes, miscellaneous items strewn around the floor around you, clothing piled up like mountains around you.

“You don’t look very ready,” she remarks.

“That’s helpful, thank you,” you say.

Lin has raised you ever since you lost your grandmother, who had taken care of you before that. Your grandmother and Lin are the only parental figures you can really remember, but Lin’s technically only ten years your senior and has always felt more like a big sister than a mother. You can’t fault her for it; she was still quite young when she took over raising you. She certainly didn’t have to take you in, but she had, and she’d done her best.

Lin chuckles. “Why isn’t Taehyung here helping?”

You roll your eyes. “He’s my friend, not my servant. He’s helping me move all this in tomorrow, that’s plenty.”

Lin shrugs, already disinterested. “Okay,” she says lightly. “Well, I wanted to say good luck with the move, and good luck with school this year. Let me know if you need anything.”

You look up from your packing and take in her appearance. She’s in scrubs, a huge thermos of coffee in her hand. She’s got work tonight, then, and won’t be here in the morning when Taehyung picks you up. You should have figured.

“Thanks,” you say.

She shifts, looking down the hall instead of at you, suddenly. Lin’s not great with emotions; it’s where you get it from.

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll see you for winter break? If not before?”

“Yeah,” you say. “Yeah. Definitely by then.”

She nods, tells you goodbye, and heads down the hallway. You hear the front door close, and you’re alone with your boxes. That’s about as mushy as it gets with Lin.

[11:44 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: what time tmrw?

[11:45 PM] You: you drive the car, you tell me

[11:51 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: 10?

[11:54 PM] You: you think that’s enough time to pack up the car and drive there before lunch?

[11:58 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: 🙄 this is why i asked YOU what time

[12:01 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: 😤

[12:02 AM] You: 9:30

[12:03 AM] You: and bring me iced coffee 🤗 plsssss???

[12:06 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[12:08 AM] You: love u tete

[12:11 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: yeah yeah love you too

You press the top of your phone into your forehead, closing your eyes. Letting yourself pretend, for just a second, that he could mean it the way you do.

Saturday August 29

Taehyung shows up in the morning - at ten, not nine-thirty, but he has an iced coffee for you in his car, so you let him live.

It takes you over an hour to load up the car, the boxes and suitcases and garbage bags squished together, shoved impossibly tight, the world’s most desperate game of tetris. Taehyung declares it impossible no less than five times, bemoaning that he’ll have to make the hour drive a second time in order to fit all of your shit.

In the end, you make it happen. It just takes a little determination.

The drive to your university is around an hour, depending on traffic. You and Taehyung both don big, goofy aviators and blast music as you sail down the highway, the backseat loaded floor to ceiling. The car is so stuffed, you even have boxes between your feet and on your lap.

The sun shines brightly down on you as you and Taehyung sing and groove your way through the drive, and you feel… so content, so sure that this is right, that you’re meant to be next to him, like this, forever. Like everything in the universe just clicked together to give you the perfect snapshot of how things are meant to be.

What if you said it? What if you told him?

Sometimes, moments like now, you just can’t fathom how he doesn’t feel it too.

But you know better. You know he doesn’t - doesn’t want to. Something deep inside you tells you to tread carefully with this best friend of yours. Something instinctual tells you that the dysfunctional friendship you’ve crafted together is a Jenga tower and if you so much as nudge the wrong brick, it’s all coming down.

You eat lunch at a table out in front of a cafe, people watching and basking in the sunlight. It’s the last, trickling days of August, but today’s breezy and cooler. It’ll warm up again before fall comes in full force, you’re sure, but you appreciate the reprieve from the scorching heat, since you’re about to spend several hours hauling boxes up a stairwell.

After lunch, Taehyung drives to your new neighborhood and finds a street-parking spot close to the front entrance of the tall, brick building.

“Okay,” he says. “Now the fun part.”

You giggle. “Have I told you yet that I appreciate you?”

“Elaborate, please,” he says, which is so typical for him. He looks over at you, sunglasses low on his nose.

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. “I appreciate you helping me move in. I appreciate you driving me. I appreciate the afternoon you’re about to spend carrying boxes and shit.”

“You’re forgetting something,” he tells you sagely.

You want to whack him in the belly for being so obnoxious, but you can’t risk him dumping all your stuff on the sidewalk and fucking off to let you deal with the stairs on your own.

“I appreciate you finding me a roommate so I don’t have to sleep on your couch,” you add.

“There we go.” Satisfied, he unbuckles, and you both get out and examine the backseat for whichever Tetris piece seems like it could be removed easiest. Arms full of boxes, you make your way up the steps to the little lobby that houses a wall of mail slots, and then up a second set of stairs to your second-floor apartment.

You set down the box you were carrying and dig out the key, opening the door to your new home.

You really do love this apartment. Through the open space - past the kitchen and through the living room - sunlight streams in through the large front windows that overlook the city block below. You can already see in your mind where you’ll put plants on low tables, or hanging from the ceiling.

You had done the big stuff days ago, with both Lin and Taehyung’s help; Lin had rented a little moving van and you’d loaded up the big furniture. From Lin’s house, you’d taken your bedframe and boxspring, leaving just the mattress in your old bedroom at Lin’s house. You’d also loaded up your low dresser, a nightstand, and two bookshelves. You’d gotten a few pieces from a local repurposing store - a desk to work at and a little swiveling chair to go with it. Your final splurge was an expensive mattress; the one in the store had felt like damn clouds. It was set to be delivered sometime this afternoon.

You’re already looking forward to going to sleep later.

You and Taehyung try to just put boxes where they’re meant to go. Two boxes end up in your bathroom, another two in the kitchen. You split the books between your bedroom and the living room, where a lone bookshelf is the only current piece of furniture. You heave bags of clothes and linens into your closet, determined to deal with them later.

The mattress delivery goes smoothly, the truck arriving as you and Taehyung are about halfway done unloading the car. You leave the building’s front door and your apartment door propped open and both teams do their thing: the delivery guys carrying the mattress up the steps, you and Taehyung behind them with garbage bags full of your clothes or boxes of books.

“You,” Taehyung pants, “have way too much stuff.”

You grin sheepishly, as in the other room your new mattress is removed from its plastic wrap and placed atop your awaiting boxspring. You’re itching to dig out your linens and make the bed; that’s always what makes a room feel ready to you, even back when you were just setting up a little dorm. Once the bed was made, everything else slowly fell into place.

Once the delivery truck rolls away, you throw yourself bodily onto the mattress, letting out a series of happy groans as you let the pillowy goodness envelop you.

“Taehyung,” you call tantalizingly. “Come feel it.”

You hear him drop a box in the living room with an audible oof - it must have been more books - and then he comes into your new bedroom and flops sideways across the bed next to you, the mattress jumping and settling again under his weight.

“Wow,” he says, rolling on his back and then turning to look at you, his legs bending to touch the floor. “This is nice. Let’s trade, I’ll bring mine over.”

“Nope,” you say, smiling. “I bought this one with my hard-earned summer money. It’s just for me.”

“Yeah,” he says, voice wry, “for you and your guests.”

Now you do whack him in the belly. He grunts, hands covering the spot, then lays still again.

“That wasn’t nice,” he comments mildly. “No hitting.”

“What guests?” you pout. “I haven’t had a guest since–”

“Ah, spare me the Great Drought of 2022 story,” he begs. He sits up, reaching into his pocket. As his hand retracts, you realize his phone is buzzing with an incoming call.

“Bro,” he says as a greeting, and then listens. “Yeah, we’re here now. That’s fine. Sounds good. Okay.”

He taps to hang up and looks at you. “Namjoon is almost here. That’s fine, right?”

“I was right here,” you huff. “Yes, it’s fine, but you literally could have asked me.”

Taehyung ignores you. “There’s one more box. I’ll go get it, and then I’ll stay while you meet with Joon, and then I’m gonna go, okay?”

“Oh,” you say, heart sinking a little bit. You’d kind of hoped he’d stick around, just hang out and goof off while you unpacked boxes and organized your stuff. “Sure.”

He reads you like a book; he always does.

“Don’t pout,” he says, and there’s something apologetic in his tone. “I just have to do some stuff today. And I really need to shower, this got me all sweaty.”

Well, you don’t need that mental image. Luckily, you’re saved from yourself by a knock at the front door. This strikes you as so polite, because not only is Namjoon going to literally live here, but also because the door is still propped wide open.

You sit up, fixing your hair from where you laid on it. Taehyung has already made his way through the living room and is giving a one-handed bro-hug to the guy at the door. You make your way over, heart thumping.

You notice a few things right away. He’s tall - taller than Taehyung, and you don’t see that often. His eyes are absolutely striking - there’s sharpness to them, something that makes you want to see the world how he does, something that makes you want to keep looking, something that makes you curious about how he’d see you.

When he smiles, each cheek dimples, the perfect size for the pad of your index finger. He’s all in browns except for a pair of light-wash jeans. He’s got a dark brown beanie tugged low on his head, and even his thin, wire-frame glasses seem to be chosen for the vibe above all else.

“Hi,” you say, sounding a little shy even to your own ears. Taehyung moves out of the way and you reach to shake Namjoon’s hand. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you. Taehyung promised me you’re normal.”

The guy lets out one big laugh, surprised. “He told me the same,” he says conspiratorially, “but really, that’s such a subjective thing.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, and you step back to let Namjoon in, preparing to show him around.

“Kitchen and living room are here,” you say unnecessarily, since he can see for himself. “Your bedroom would be on this side.” You push open the door and Namjoon sticks his head in. The room is completely bare, the empty closet door standing open.

“You get your own bathroom,” Taehyung points out. Namjoon nods appreciatively, still looking silently back and forth across the room that would be his as soon as you pass him a key.

“Is it okay?” you ask, suddenly feeling nervous. If this guy backs out, you’ll be back at square one, and now with less time to solve the problem.

“Oh,” he says, as if remembering he should communicate. “Yeah! It’s great.” He turns and peers at the living room, which is empty but for your lone bookshelf and several boxes of books, unopened.

“I have some stuff we can put here, if you want?” he asks, his tone a little uncertain. “Specifically, I have a couch and coffee table, plus a TV and a console to put it on. It should all fit.”

“That would be great,” you say enthusiastically. “I was already stressing out about saving up enough for a couch.”

He nods easily, looking around the room thoughtfully. Taehyung has wandered over to the large windows and is looking up at the tree that stands right outside, the branches waving lightly in the afternoon breeze. With the sunlight coming in, he looks like a painting.

“I have a rug, too,” Namjoon muses. “Would you be interested in that?”

“Definitely,” you tell him, tearing your eyes away from Taehyung’s back. There’s something knowing in Namjoon’s face as he watches you, and you flush, feeling weirdly caught.

“Okay,” he says, “I’ll bring it. What about kitchen stuff?”

“I don’t have a ton,” you admit, pointing to the two boxes - not very big ones - that you’ve left on the kitchen counter. “If you’ve got more, that’s probably good. I don’t cook that often, to be honest. I’m not very good at it.”

Namjoon smiles at you, leaning over a little like he’s letting you in on a secret. “I can barely boil water,” he admits. “So you’re all good.”

You stand together as you discuss how you’ll be splitting the monthly costs for the utilities, not to mention the high-speed wifi that’s getting set up in two days. That leaves you to work out the rent, what day it’s due and how you want to handle paying it. In the end, you decide that he’ll electronically pay you, and you’ll pay the landlord, since it’s your name on the lease. He pays you right there on the spot, and you pass him the key that was meant for Penny.

“Is it okay if I start moving my things tomorrow?” he asks you.

You shrug. “This place is yours now, too,” you say easily. “You can honestly do what you want.”

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll probably start in the morning then?”

“I can’t promise I’ll be up,” you laugh, “but don’t let that stop you!”

“Should we…” he pauses, adjusts his glasses. “Should we exchange numbers?”

Taehyung makes a face you know well; it’s the face he makes when he wants to laugh or make fun of something, and he’s doing the Good Person Thing by keeping the thought to himself, but he wants to make sure you know by his face that he is holding it in. He wants credit for doing the Good Person Thing.

You honestly hate him sometimes. It’s the only thing keeping you from tipping straight into insanity. Sometimes, I really hate Taehyung.

“Yes, we probably should,” you say, because someone in this room needs to act like they aren’t twelve years old, and it’s not going to be Kim Taehyung, apparently.

You do, and then Namjoon tells you both goodbye, making his way back out to the hallway and down the steps. You can hear his footsteps fall away into nothing.

Taehyung looks at you, smiles angelically. “See?” he says. “I told you he was nice.”

He reaches for his keys on your kitchen counter. You frown, detecting his imminent departure.

“Will you come over tomorrow?” you ask, a little pitifully.

He considers this, and nods. “For dinner?” he suggests.

“Yeah,” you say. “We still won’t have wifi yet. We’ll be bored.”

“Only boring people get bored,” Taehyung says sagely, holding up one finger like a wizened philosopher. Then he comes to hug you goodbye, pulling you into a sweet embrace. You want to live there, in the spot between his arms.

Once he’s gone, you look around your new home. Alone, you decide to put on music and start tackling boxes. You start in the bathroom, finding towels so you’ll be able to shower in the morning, unpacking all your toiletries, setting up your toothbrush just so. You do the kitchen second; the sun sets outside as you find places for your battered pots and pans.

You stop for dinner, getting take-out from a place nearby that delivers. Then you dive back in, setting up your bedroom. It feels cozy already, once the bed is made and you’ve plugged in your little lamps. Calmer, you start folding clothes to put into dresser drawers. At one point you wander out of your room to get some water and you freeze in your bedroom doorway, struck by how lonely it feels.

The rest of the apartment is lit only by the yellow glow coming from your bedroom, plus the thin, white light that filters in from the streetlight below the living room windows. You hurry into the kitchen and turn on the light over the sink, which vanishes some of the bad feeling for you. You pour your glass of water and lean heavily on the counter, looking out at your empty living room, and the dark doorway of Namjoon’s untouched room. You wish Taehyung had come back over, or that some of your university friends had moved back into the area sooner.

You rinse your glass and head back into your room, ready to distract yourself with more unpacking until you’re tired enough to sleep.

Sunday September 30

Bumps and crashes wake you in the morning. It takes you a few minutes to figure out where you are - ah, the cloud bed, in your new room. The morning sunlight is strong; apparently the windows on the front of the apartment face the east. You make a mental note to shop for some good blackout curtains, and check your phone. Not much waiting for you - Lin texted around 1 am asking if you got settled okay, probably while she was on a quick break. You answer her, check your socials, and then lay back, just looking around.

You got a lot done yesterday, but you still have more unpacking to do. It also occurs to you that not only is there no coffee waiting for you in the kitchen, there’s no food of any kind in the whole place, unless you count your container of leftover takeout from last night.

You shower and get dressed, figuring it's best to stay out of the way - you can hear the grunts and huffs and loud bumps that indicate Namjoon’s got some friends helping him move things in. But eventually, the growling in your stomach and your body’s clamoring for caffeine send you out into the living room.

The low entertainment center is in place across the room from you, a flatscreen tv situated on top. There are now two stools tucked beneath the breakfast bar in the kitchen, and a pretty, wooden coffee table sits in the center of the living room.

There’s a guy on the floor surrounded by furniture pieces, a screwdriver, and a packet of instructions in his hands. You can hear a lot of shouting, bumping, and cursing floating in from the stairwell down the hall.

“Hey,” the guy on the floor says. “You’re Y/N? I’m Namjoon’s friend, Yoongi.”

“Hi,” you say, a little bewildered. “What are you… building?”

He sighs, squinting at the paper in his hand. “It’s supposed to be a bookshelf. Eventually.”

You’re about to respond to this when the noise from outside the open door gets infinitely louder. You see Namjoon’s expansive back as he shuffles backwards through the doorway, one end of a faded, grey couch in his hands.

“Okay, you have to turn,” he coaches whoever is on the other side.

The couch makes it through the door, and you’re surprised to see that you know the other person carrying the couch. He’s one of Taehyung’s best friends, and you’ve hung out together as a group plenty of times over the last three years.

“JayKay!” you call happily. “Welcome to my house!”

He laughs, nose scrunching with delight. “Y/N,” he crows. “Where should I put the couch?”

“Across from the tv,” Namjoon answers for you, sounding a little breathless. They shuffle through the room, and you notice for the first time that they’ve already put the rug in place, covering most of the warped, wooden floor of the living room. The couch settles over top of it, and Namjoon slides the coffee table to a more centered position.

One more guy comes through your doorway, carrying a nightstand and a lamp. He’s got quite possibly the widest shoulders you’ve ever seen. He disappears into Namjoon’s bedroom, and you hear the quiet thump as he sets the nightstand down in there.

“Wow,” you say. “You’ve got a whole moving crew.”

“Notice who’s not here helping,” Jungkook grumbles.

You smile to yourself. If you know him at all, you’ll guess Taehyung isn’t even out of bed yet.

“In his defense,” you say, and Jungkook snorts, as if it’s so typical that you’d defend Taehyung, which… it might be, “he did a lot for me yesterday. We had his car packed with my stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jungkook mutters and turns to - presumably - get more stuff from downstairs.

“You have a lot left?” you ask Namjoon, who seems to be catching his breath for a minute, perched on the arm of the couch. “I’d offer to help, but I was just about to go get groceries - there’s very literally no food here.”

“We’re about done with the heavier stuff,” he says, looking at the open door, like he’ll find an inventory there that he can reference. “But still plenty of assembling left.”

“Hooray,” Yoongi deadpans from the floor, holding the instruction packet up in the air like a different angle will help him decipher the directions.

You find your little foldable cart and make your way to the grocery store a few blocks away. By the time you’re done scouring the aisles, you’ve loaded the cart to the top and still have to carry some of the bags. But at least now you’ll have food to eat, things to drink besides tap water.

Getting up the stairs with your groceries sucks, but you make it, panting like crazy as you finally unlock the front door and let yourself in.

You’re greeted with silence; it’s clear the guys are all gone. The living room looks completely different than twenty-four hours ago. The couch and table look great, and it seems like Yoongi’s bookshelf is mostly complete - it’s upright, just missing a few shelves near the top. You set the groceries down in the kitchen next to three unopened boxes - it seems like Namjoon’s gameplan was the same as yours yesterday: get the boxes into the appropriate rooms, do the rest later.

You peek into his bedroom - he’s left the door all the way open, which feels nice, like he trusts you, and you make a mental note that you should probably do the same. You notice that it looks like the furniture is all in place there, too. It doesn’t differ much from yours, actually. The bedframe is put together, the boxspring and mattress leaning against the far wall. He’s also got a tall chest of drawers, a wicker hamper, and in the corner, a desk. Namjoon’s furniture is a lot more modern looking than yours, sleek and matching. You bet he didn’t get half of his from the thrift store.

You put the groceries away and make yourself a small lunch, eating it on the couch in the quiet of the apartment. You’ve got about twenty-four hours to go until there’s wifi and you can stream shows when you’re home alone. You’re just cleaning up your lunch when you hear a key in the lock, and then the cacophony of boys’ voices as they reenter the apartment.

“-far superior, I’m telling you,” Jungkook is saying emphatically. The smell of greasy burgers and fries hits you in the kitchen along with the sound of his voice.

“I hear what you’re saying, and I respect your opinion,” a flat voice responds that you think might belong to Yoongi. “It’s just that you’re wrong.”

“Hey,” Namjoon says, noticing you standing in the kitchen. The guys pass through, heading into the living room, Jungkook already digging in the bag. They surround the coffee table, handing out burgers and fries, filling the room with delicious smells and noisy chatter.

You take this opportunity to head back into your room, sitting on your bedroom floor and opening one of your boxes of books, starting to put them on the small shelf beneath your window. You pop in your airpods and turn on music, losing yourself in the monotonous movement of digging out a new book, then turning to place it on the shelf. Rinse, and repeat.

When you finish, you move into your closet. You put your little wire shoe rack back together and locate your box of shoes, lining them up neatly. Then, you tackle another garbage bag full of clothes that go on hangers, flapping each shirt or dress to relieve it of wrinkles before hanging it up. After that, you find a box of miscellaneous dresser items - jewelry boxes, perfume bottles, headbands - and put those where you want them, too.

By the time you decide you need to sit down and take a break, it’s nearly evening, the light outside reaching that golden hour. You really do love the natural lighting in this place.

You take out your airpods and set them to charge, listening carefully. You’ve had your bedroom door open this whole time, but the guys had left you alone and you’d minded your own business. Now, the apartment is filled with silence again. They must be gone.

You text Taehyung for the first time that day, which strikes you as weird. He must have been busy today, too. It’s odd for you two to make it until almost dinner without speaking.

“Dinner?” you text, and then wander out into the living room.

“Hey,” a voice says from near the floor, and you practically leap out of your skin. You startle so violently that your phone slips from your hands and clatters to the floor.

“Holy crap,” you breathe when you realize Namjoon is sitting on the floor next to his newly assembled bookshelf, an open box of books before him. He seems to be sorting them into piles before putting any on the shelf.

“Sorry,” he says, eyes wide. “I didn’t mean to--”

“No, you’re fine,” you assure him. “I’m just… a jumpy person. You’ll get used to it.”

You watch him sort books for a minute, then eye your own empty bookshelf, your boxes still closed on the ground next to it. You decide if it’s Bookshelf Hours, you might as well, right? You set your phone on the coffee table and settle in, opening your first box and starting to place books on the bottommost shelf.

“So,” you say, because it feels weird to be sitting four feet from your new roommate and not speaking, “Taehyung said you’re a grad student at the university?”

Namjoon nods wordlessly, eyes on the books he’s sorting. “Yep,” he says finally. “And you’re a senior?”

“Mhm,” you confirm.

After that scintillating conversation, you both lapse into silence as you work. You continue like that for some time - long enough to reach the middle shelf - before you realize you hear your phone buzzing on the table. You stretch to reach for it, missing how Namjoon glances sideways at you, at how an inch of your stomach is revealed as you lean over.

“Hi,” you say, pressing the phone to your ear.

“Took you long enough to answer,” Taehyung gripes.

“Sorry,” you say. “We were putting books away.”

Taehyung’s silence is just one beat too long. “We, huh?”

You laugh, once. “I mean? That’s what each of us is doing? So? Yeah?” From his spot a few feet away, Namjoon glances over his shoulder, frowning slightly.

“Anyway,” you say, “dinner? Do you want to come over?”

“Yes,” he says decisively. “Order us something and I’ll head over?”

“Sure,” you say, already hanging up. You don’t need to ask what he wants; no matter where you order from, you know what he likes.

“Do you want to order with us?” you ask Namjoon mildly as you scroll through the local delivery app. “I was thinking pizza.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says slowly, like he was deep in thought and has to process what you’d said to him. “That would be nice. Thanks.”

The place you’d order from back when you lived in the dorms is actually closer to this apartment than campus, which is the most beautiful, serendipitous thing that’s ever happened in your life. You place the order for delivery and continue putting your books away. Once all the books are on shelves, you’re essentially done - finally, after two days - unpacking.

This gives you exactly one whole day to relax before you have to start going to classes again.

Taehyung arrives before the pizza, knocking on the door in a silly rhythm. You pound back on your side of the door, echoing his rhythm, before opening it, greeting him with a big smile. You’d missed him; of course you had.

“Wow,” he says, genuinely impressed, as he peers around you. “It looks so much different in here.”

“Right?” you ask, filled with joy. Taehyung pokes his head into the kitchen, which is arguably the least “ready” room, as aside from putting your things into drawers and cupboards, neither you nor Namjoon had really done much to it. No hand-towels hanging by the sink, no magnets on the fridge, even the counters were empty, save for the two sets of keys resting there. Taehyung adds his own to the key pile and moves into the living room, which is much more impressive.

“Hey, man,” Namjoon says from the floor. It seems like he’s done sorting his books into piles and has started actually putting them on shelves now. “Looks good, right?”

“It does,” Taehyung answers from the doorway of Namjoon’s room, where he's peeking nosily. “The guys helped you?”

“Everyone except you and Jimin,” Namjoon says innocently.

Taehyung smiles guiltily. “I helped Y/N the entire day before, just the two of us,” he argues. “And what about Hobi? He’s on--”

“--on vacation with his parents,” Namjoon finishes agreeably, “so he’s off the hook. Where was Jimin?”

“Where do you think Jimin was?” Taehyung scoffs, reaching down and touching the rug absently.

“Sleeping,” you and Namjoon say at the same time, both of your voices wry. You smile at him, and he looks away.

The pizza arrives and you all sit around the coffee table to eat. Conversation flows better with Taehyung in the mix; he talks so much, it almost doesn’t matter if anyone else does.

“I was thinking of making a list of things we need for the apartment that wouldn’t necessarily belong to either of us - cleaning supplies, stuff like that,” Namjoon says to you. “I thought I could buy it and we could split the cost?”

“Buy the cheap stuff,” Taehyung advises. “Y/N’s summer money is gonna go fast, especially the way she orders out instead of cooking.”

“Thank you, Taehyung,” you say flatly, shooting him a look. “I start work in like two days. I can handle it.”

After the pizza’s done, Namjoon goes back to working on his bookshelf, obviously wanting to clear the floorspace of his book piles sooner rather than later. You and Taehyung sprawl across the couch opposite each other, his feet resting near your elbow, both of you on your phones.

You stay like that until nearly midnight, talking occasionally but mostly just happily coexisting in your own little bubbles. At some point, Namjoon finishes the bookshelf and wanders into his bedroom, pausing to look at you two on the couch before disappearing. He pushes his door almost shut, leaving it open a few inches. You hear the subtle sounds of music playing from behind the door, but not loud enough to discern what it is.

Taehyung hugs you before leaving, and you snuggle into the embrace, body exhausted from the moving process. He rests his chin on top of your head, swaying you around a little bit.

“Thanks for helping me,” you murmur into his chest. Sometimes the only time you can get Taehyung to be serious for a conversation is when you’re like this; in each other’s arms, your walls come down - in his case, deflecting with humor and sarcasm, brushing off everything like it’s a big joke. In yours, saying what you really mean, and not a more delicate version of it.

“You’re welcome,” he answers, squeezing you a little. “I’m glad everything worked out. It really does look good in here. And I think you guys will get along.”

Once he leaves, you deadbolt the front door and head to the kitchen to wash the plates and cups you’d used for pizza. Behind you, you hear the squeak of door hinges, and Namjoon pads into the kitchen behind you. He pauses, scanning the cupboards.

“I don’t remember which one I put my cups in,” he laughs a little, and then starts opening each one until he finds what he needs. Once he has a glass, he rummages in the fridge, taking out a juice carton and filling his glass about halfway. You finish washing the last plate and turn the water off, rummaging through a drawer for a dish towel to dry everything.

“So…” Namjoon says between sips of juice. “You two are pretty close, huh?”

“Yeah,” you say, shrugging easily. “He’s my best friend.”

Namjoon hums, nods, purses his lips thoughtfully. If you knew him better, you’d push - ask him what that face means, or why he’d asked in the first place.

But, you don’t need to. You know already. You’re used to being interrogated by others about your relationship with Taehyung. Sometimes people are trying to see if you’re a threat in their quest to worm their way into Taehyung’s heart (or pants) - and in your own weird way, you kind of are, at least for the former.

Taehyung definitely sleeps around, but he’s surprisingly tight-lipped with you about it. You’re not sure if he’s sparing you, or he’s actually just a gentleman. Could go either way. But when Taehyung considers dating someone - rare, to say the least - he always has you vet them first. You never like any of them, surprise surprise.

You’re used to girls approaching you in bathrooms, sometimes aggressively, sometimes meekly, to ask if Taehyung’s your boyfriend. You’ve had girls come apologize, saying they “didn’t know about you”. Once you’d had a girl nearly shove you down a staircase for talking to “her man”, but luckily, said man was walking next to you and helped shut the whole thing down. (You two had had a serious talk after that one about communicating with his partners about his relationship status. Things have never gone that far again, to date.)

Less frequently, you’ll get asked about Taehyung by guys who are interested in you, who are trying to figure out how much of a lost cause it is. That one’s a little trickier. How do you tell the cute guy at the coffee shop that no, you’re not dating Taehyung, but you are secretly so in love with him that it really isn’t worth their time?

Anyway, usually you just tell guys that you’re not dating Taehyung but that you’re not interested in dating anyone. It usually does the trick. It’s not that far from the truth, either.

That leaves the last category of people who ask about you two, and this is where you feel Namjoon falls: the people who watch your weird, boundary-pushing friendship and are just genuinely curious how it could possibly work.

And you get it, you really do. You know how this looks from the outside. Hell, you’re sure that from the outside it’s fairly obvious how gone you are for him. Is it just as obvious to the outside that he sees you more like a sister than anything datable?

Probably.

You’ve had friends ask you what keeps you around. You always say the same thing - regardless of your feelings for him, he’s also your absolute best friend.

Your friendship is precious to you, sacred. It sometimes feels like the only thing you have, in a life where you generally don’t have much. Your family is Lin - that’s it, end of the road. Your girlfriends are nice, but Penny was the closest you had and she’s across the country now. You only have Taehyung. And what you have with him, as special as it is, it’s also precarious.

If you lose him, it isn’t just that you’ll lose him - and trust, that would be devastating - it’s also that you would be deeply alone.

Finished with the dishes, you bid Namjoon goodnight and head back into your room for the night, planning to change into pajamas and wait for Taehyung to text you that he made it home safely, wait for Taehyung to text you goodnight. Namjoon murmurs goodnight, but you feel his calculating gaze on your back until you close your door softly behind you.

Thank you so much for reading! I started writing this in August, it feels amazing to finally postttttt. Please consider some type of feedback - I'd love to hear anything you want to share! Section II will post on Friday, January 27th - hope to see you there!

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iraprince · 2 years ago

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hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL

how'd you get past that?

not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.

it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.

ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.

i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.

on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.

sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")

also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."

if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.

when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.

i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!

#ira answers

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mikanotes · 3 years ago

Text

— don’t care just missed you

cheong-san x gn!reader | 3.4k words

genre: horror, angst, comfort, then fluff

warnings: swearing, canon-divergence, blood, injury (eye injury), implied cannibalism (technically, he’s half human and half zombie), mentions of death, suicidal ideation, and anxiety. aouad stuff basically.

synopsis: being a shut-in introvert with no interest in spending time with people or going outside was something people weren’t exactly fond of. it turned out to be the best thing in your life when a virus broke out in the school near your house. OR you love cheongsan and don’t care that he barges into your house with a zombie bite on his arm.

a/n: so i just finished all of us are dead and. i’m upset LMFAO i know i said i was taking a break but the end with cheongsan’s implied death(?) made me so upset i wanted to write for him also i. cant find gifs for him

The living room was dark. As was the rest of the world. Or well, maybe saying the world in its entirety would be an exaggeration. The world was dark for the people of Hyosan.

You stared at your laptop screen— the only source of light in your house, currently—, clicking your tongue rhythmically as you stared at your wallpaper. On your toolbar, several old internet browser tabs were open. Social medias and such, platforms with information on what was going on. All refreshed and now gone.

The word was everywhere: zombies. A zombie apocalypse that had started spreading so fast one could compare the city’s situation to the famous movie Train to Busan. Before you could get any more useful information, networks had shut down entirely.

Of course. A classic move. “So misinformation won’t spread” was what the higher-ups of the military had told on TV. But you knew what this meant. Cutting off communications was dangerous, even more so in a city that slowly started to break down under the pressure of some unknown virus that turned people into literal zombies. Not only that, but their means of stopping the spreading of misinformation meant that they stopped the spreading of information in general. Without being in direct contact with what was going on… You couldn’t know anything.

Like, genuinely.

You lived in a small, humble house lodged in the middle of the forest. Your parents owned it and were always on trips. They’d told you you could live there if you wanted since they were almost never home, saying that the house was supposed to be yours when you’d be an adult, but that it worked either way. You’d taken up on the offer with joy, around the end of middle school. No one but your family and close friends knew you lived there. Needless to day you were a bit cut off from everyone else. You liked being alone, and having an entire house (even if a bit small) to yourself. It was nice.

You’d dropped out of school mid-year, leaving your close friends surprised and pleading you to stay. But you’d told yourself that social life wasn’t really for you, and much less the restrictions of the educational system when you were forced to attend school five days out of seven in a week. So you’d shut yourself in your house. You were fine with it, really. You liked it more than going out every other day. You had food stored for months, and you weren’t that far from the city. So if you needed more you could just go to the nearest road, take a taxi, and take a trip to the grocery store to stock up. So you were fine.

Nevertheless, it seemed people naturally craved for the presence of other people. Recently, watching slice-of-life animes during your breaks from homeschool had got you craving for the thrill of a typical “normal teenage life”. And you missed your friends. You wanted to run out school laughing with them, you wanted to go out for ice-cream on sunny, hot days. You wanted to pass notes with them during classes and get detention afterwards. You wanted to buy stuff at the vending machine as you spoke with your classmates.

But you’d chosen the life of someone who stayed inside.

And this choice had turned out to be the best one you’d made in your life when the news of a virus outbreak in your city, and in your former high school especially, had broke out. You were happy. Gleeful, really. You’d just escaped what could’ve been hell on Earth, while simply sitting peacefully at home. And with the ongoing crisis, you’d be excused for any homework and assignments you’d miss. So this was fine. It was even good!

Until you’d look away from your laptop screen and face reality again. You’d swallow thickly, frowning. The old name tag on your desk was something that usually brought you comfort, yet lately it did nothing but worry you.

Lee Cheongsan.

If the school was the epicenter of the virus, then he was in danger. Who knows, maybe he’d even turned already. The thought of your best friend… No, the person you loved turning into a zombie was unpleasant, to say the least. So much that every time it crossed your mind, you had to fight the impulsive urge to run out of your house and to the school. You didn’t live far from the school, so it would be fine. But still. It was careless and impulsive, so you always refrained.

But you were scared. And you missed him.

You missed the texts he would send you saying your empty seat in class made his heart ache in a dramatic way, before insulting you for saying he was dramatic. You missed his smile when you’d open the door every time he’d come to see you. You missed his hugs. The way he held your hand when you were anxious. You missed your childhood days with him, you missed the teenage ones that you’d barely had the chance to experience. You missed going to his family’s restaurant when he managed to get you to leave the house. You missed studying with him. You missed taking pictures with him that he’d purposefully try to make blurry. You missed him.

And after several days of zoning out entirely, loud knocking brought you out of that daze you were in. You were scared shitless, to say the least. Just a while ago you’d heard announcements about explosions that would happen around the city, and in the school in particular. You’d sat there, unmoving as the image of Cheongsan and your friends drenched in blood and dead on the ground plagued your anxious mind. You didn’t want to leave for the safe-place the military kept talking about. When they’d come to your house, you’d grabbed every belonging you’d used recently and ran straight to the basement, hiding there and staying as quiet as possible in hopes that they’d deem this house abandoned. Your safe place was obviously your house. So you would stay. You were almost certain the explosions wouldn’t reach it. And even if they did, so what?

You didn’t really… feel like living that much anymore. While you knew Cheongsan was someone who was strong and smart, you were still almost certain he could be dead. And you loved him. And he loved you. You both knew. So why would you want to live if the one you loved was dead?

The point was that irritatingly loud knocking brought you out of that train of thoughts. You picked up the knife on your table and carefully walked over to the door.

The military again? Maybe this time you should answer, you thought. But you couldn’t be sure. And you didn’t have a view on who was outside. You had to at least walk over there and—

“[name]!” a familiar voice yelled outside. And you froze, and dropped the knife. Because what else could you do? — “It’s me. It’s Cheongsan. Are you there?”

Then you ran and opened the door.

There he was. He looked exhausted. His features were painted with red, and one of his eyes was… weirdly bloody. The veins around it were prominent and visible, almost zombie-like. He was panting, a hand holding the side of your doorframe. You noticed that, besides the blood all over his clothes, a part of his sleeve was torn— Like someone, or something, had bit his arm.

You grabbed his collar and yanked him inside your house. You closed the door and locked it back to the way it was before, before turning around abruptly. “Cheongsan.”

“I’m… I can’t stay here.” he said, before opening his mouth but hesitating. He took a deep breath. “I was bitten by… Someone who’s kind of a zombie. But not really. I think I’ll turn soon.”

Then why did you come? you thought. You didn’t care. You didn’t care if he would turn while locked in the same room as you. Honestly, you’d prefer it if he turned with you around. So you could die together. But Cheongsan cared. He would never want to put you in this kind of danger. So why was he here?

Oh. You understood.

“I just wanted to say goodbye.” he said, and you knew. You felt your throat burn and noticed with how much difficulty he gulped. His eye was red, like he wanted to cry. You both wanted to cry. He didn’t wanna say goodbye. You wouldn’t let him say goodbye.

Before you could say anything, he grabbed the sides of your arms and pulled you towards him. He planted his lips on yours in a short, desperate kiss. You wanted it to last, you wanted it to last so long you’d die. You didn’t want him to speak. You didn’t want him to say that he was sorry and he should leave. You didn’t want him to say he loved you like it was the last time he’d be able to. But he pulled away and looked at you, sad.

“I should leave. I’m sorry. I love you.”

It was Cheongsan. Of course he’d say it. You grabbed his wrist and held it tight. It was warm, his skin. Not much like a zombie, much more like him. You’d missed the feel of it. “You shouldn’t have come here.”

He looked away.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m leaving, now.”

“No, you’re not.”

You suddenly moved towards the living room, pulling him along, before pulling him in front of you and holding him in place. “You’re not leaving this damn place, Lee Cheongsan.”

“No, I have to. [name], I’m gonna turn—”

“Does it look like I give a fuck? Look me in my eye and tell me if it looks like I fucking care, Cheongsan.” you said sternly, before coughing out a bitter laugh. “I’m selfish, so you’re staying. I haven’t seen you in way too long. I spent hours worrying about wether or not you were alive. Now that I know you are, I’ll spend all the time we have left with you. Zombie or not. You’re staying here.”

He must’ve felt there was no point in arguing, because he frowned, then sighed, and lowered his arms. He bit his lip and slowly nodded. There were tears at the corner of his eye. You glanced at the injured one and instinctively moved your gaze away.

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

“Kind of.”

You couldn’t help how upset your expression was in this moment. You didn’t like seeing him in pain. You were certain he’d gone through far worse pains during the time you weren’t in contact but it still made you worry. His hands twitched at his sides.

“I’m gonna turn.” he said quietly. You nodded, only bringing him closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Yeah.”

“I might kill you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I don’t want to kill you.”

“Then you won’t.”

You weren’t pretending. You weren’t scared. You’d sort of given up on the idea of being scared of zombies, at this point. People themselves could be considered scarier, anyway. And this was the person closest to you. The person you’d put above everyone else. This was Lee Cheongsan. And maybe it was wishful thinking, but you strongly believed he wouldn’t hurt you. Or that at least, he wouldn’t kill you. You didn’t know how the virus worked, considering how little information you had access to, but if there was a way for him not to turn completely, it would happen. After all, he hadn’t told you he was bitten by an actual zombie. From what he said, it seemed like your theory was plausible, and that the boy could very well stay at least half human.

You felt his muscles twitch under your embrace, his back stretching and him wincing. His jaw was tense, as was every muscle in his body. He groaned in pain and you felt his hands grab the hem of your shirt and tighten around the fabric. He wanted to get away from you— You wouldn’t let him. His body contorted to the best of its ability while stuck in your arms, before falling completely limp against your hold. You lost balance due to the sudden shift in weight and fell on the floor with a yell.

It hurt your head and for a moment your attention was elsewhere, as you winced in pain. You huffed and looked up. The ceiling. Then you looked down. Under your chin, Cheongsan’s head. And… All over you… Well, Cheongsan. He was completely unmoving. His chest was on yours, yet you couldn’t feel his heartbeat. Your fingers touched the side of his neck.

His pulse was there. It was faint, but it was there. That was odd. From what you’d understood, the zombies invading your city were basically dead and the virus was what kept them on their feet. So why… Was he alive?

You stayed like this for a while. Maybe it was a minute, maybe ten. You couldn’t be sure, you’d kind of zoned out. But eventually, you felt him move. He groaned in pain, and then slowly pushed himself off the floor— and, well, you. He was breathing heavily. He was breathing. He looked down at you like he was confused. Otherwise… He looked perfectly fine.

“…[name].”

You didn’t reply. You didn’t need to. He was Cheongsan. There was no doubting it. He wasn’t some undead human-turned-zombie. He wasn’t like the ones you’d seen running in the forest while staring out the window before. He was Cheongsan, with the same gaze you knew.

Except he looked …Hungry. He gulped and panted a little.

“I really want to bite you.”

“Are you certain you haven’t seen anyone walk around there? Someone who looks human? There’s a group of zombies with… Human behavior. We’re looking for them.”

You sighed and leaned against your doorframe. “Listen, Officer. As it happens, I don’t spend my days staring out the window to check if zombies are crawling around. That’s your fucking job to do, not mine. I have studying to do, actually. Exams are coming up. And this is the third time you ask me. Could you tell your team to leave me the fuck alone when you go back? Thanks.”

The cop hesitated before closing his mouth and nodding. “Sorry. Thank you. Have a good day. And if you decide you want to come to the camp, you can contact us—”

“You as well!”

You closed the door with a slam and locked it (out of habit) before heaving a sigh. You were really annoyed, quite frankly. You did have to study, that was right. Since it had been a few months since the explosions in Hyosan, it was not surprising that you’d eventually received an email telling you school had resumed. So the incessant visits from police officers and the military weren’t exactly ideal. It seemed living in a remote area near a place that was literally bombed down, and not having done any effort to leave it or go to the safe zone was considered a bit odd, if not straight-up suspicious. It was understandable, if you were honest. But it didn’t make it any less irritating.

“It’s like you get less and less polite each time they come to ask you questions.” someone said behind you. You sighed and turned around, walking over to your desk and sitting down on the chair.

“Well, obviously.” you exhaled, stretching your arms in front of you. “I’m not exactly free.”

You looked over your shoulder to see Cheongsan leaning on the wall next to the hallway and smiling. You grinned and spun in your chair. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy.”

“You’re an idiot.”

You turned back to your desk with a smile as Cheongsan cursed back at you. You heard him laugh and walk over to you, before wrapping his arms around your neck. He set his chin on top of your head and sighed in content.

“I’m gonna go out tonight. Namra told me the fixed dates for “that” were on the last fridays of each month.” he said quietly. You moved your head up right as he did and stared up at him, smiling. You pet the side of his face and he leaned into your palm, a gentle smile on his lips.

“Okay. Take care when you go out.” you said. He nodded.

“I will.”

You stared at him. He was pretty. He was happy. He was better, now. His wounds had healed, and he looked healthier and more well-rested. You stared at him long, and long enough for you to frown. You spun around in your chair to face him and extended your hand towards him. He instinctively leaned down towards you.

You fixed his eyepatch and tutted, shaking your head. “You look like Kaneki Ken, like this.”

He laughed and tilted his head. “Really? I must look pretty cool, then.”

“Yeah.” you sighed, scoffing a little as you leaned back on your chair. “You look like an idiot who selflessly puts others before himself and somehow pulls off cool shit without getting killed. You are pretty similar.”

He lightly hit your arm and laughed, while you smiled. You also have to eat the way he does, is something you both thought but didn’t say. Turns out, he never did bite you. He said he wanted to when he turned, but never did. He always managed not to. Even when you told him it was fine, that you didn’t mind if it helped him stay alive. But he never did. And eventually, he found alternatives— Thanks to Namra, partially. So it was okay.

Now you lived a life as odd as anyone else’s after this crisis. You lived in your remote little house in the forest, hiding your boyfriend-turned-half-zombie while studying for university entrance exams online. Things were weird, but things were good. You preferred them that way. During the past few months, Cheongsan had told you all about what happened at the school. He’d told you about how he wanted to text you the moment everything went down but he was in the cafeteria and his phone wasn’t with him. He told you about everytime he almost died, and every time one of your friends did. He told you he saw him mom. He told you about Onjo’s dad. He told you why he was injured. He told you, because he needed to tell you. He told you because he needed you to know the reason he wanted to cry. And he cried, and so did you. It felt as painful as it felt relieving. Now you knew about what had went down, but you also knew about the deaths of people you loved and cared about. That was a harsh and cold reality that made you cry despite your preparation for it. Nothing could make you emotionless enough not to react to that. Maybe that was a good thing, but it hurt.

During all that time, you got him new clothes. The bloody uniform was getting a little old. Despite the memories it held, he refused to throw it away. You understood. Maybe it was because it held that many memories that he wanted to keep it. So it sat quietly in the middle of his clothes.

He got an eyepatch, too, to cover the scar. He kept going on about how cool he looked and you’d always insult him in return. He couldn’t even put it right, this idiot. It got you smiling.

You and Cheongsan had always loved each other. He’d finally told you when your last day at school came around, giving you his nametag as he cleared his throat and tried to confess. So you gave him yours and only grinned as you left the school. You texted a lot before everything happened. You’d only then realized how lonely you felt without his texts and calls. Your friend texted you too, before. But… Things happened.

Cheongsan asked you out, too. You thought it was dumb, and that you two were practically already dating at this point, anyway. He insisted. So you said yes. It was nice to think about. Cheongsan’s my boyfriend, you’d think, then smile like an idiot. It wasn’t so bad to make it official.

Cheongsan was alright, and so were you. That was all that mattered. Things were okay.

#lee cheongsan x reader #cheongsan x reader #lee cheong san x reader #cheong san x reader #all of us are dead x reader #aouad x reader #x reader

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miekasa · 3 years ago

Note

mie.. i’m going into another eren phase.. so can you pls tell me your fav boyfie eren hcs…

Yeah, why not. I have so many random ones because he is my boyfriend <333 so here you gp

sfw

Eren doesn't actually work out all that often. He’s always been athletic, so his exercise comes in the form of playing sports, but he doesn’t really go to the gym outside of playing/practice.

Loves cake pops, more often than not “treats himself” to one after an exam or assignment, or whenever he feels like it lmfao. He basically eats it all in one bite, keeps the stick in his mouth to fidget with until he finds a trashcan.

Likes seeing you in his hoodies because, well, it’s his hoodie on you; but mostly because of the size of the actual hood on you. He thinks it’s so funny but also pretty cute how the hood alone swallows you up.

Grocery shopping with you is one of his favorite activities. He rarely goes by himself—if not with you, then with Mikasa or Armin—and all he really does is follow you around the store and occasionally put some stuff in the cart, but he still loves it. He likes running and then jumping on the cart like it’s a scooter.

No matter how many makeup tutorials he watches, or how many times he watches you do your own makeup, he doesn’t really understand how it works lmfao. He likes watching it, and he thinks you look pretty if wearing makeup is your thing, but he baffles him how a little tube of concealer brightens your under eye.

Speaking of which, he sits criss cross applesauce either on your bed or on the toilet if you’re in the bathroom, while he watches you do your makeup. Counts the steps in his head, always confuses the contour and bronzer. It’s okay, he’s learning.

He both likes and dislikes FaceTime. He likes the convenience of it (and will abuse it by calling you even tho you’ve just barely left his house), but he would much rather just go and see you; so he does. Unless there’s something keeping you apart, Eren will make the effort and the trip to go and see you, even if it’s late at night.

He gets warm very easily, but always has some sort of coat/outerwear on him, even if it’s just a light windbreaker. He usually ends up hanging it over your shoulders or telling you to wear it because you “look cold” when he wants to take it off.

He walks just like a half step behind you; technically still by your side, but trailing you by the tiniest amount. That way he gets to be with you and watch you, and also steer you away from anything/anyone else he sees ahead while you’re walking.

If he notices your shoelaces are untied, he gently pokes your shoulder to get you to stop, then bends down and ties them for you.

His phone case is brown leather, and has your initials engraved at the very bottom in a very tiny, dark green font.

Likes walking around with you at night so congrats on having your own personal guard dog for Safety lmfaoo. Sometimes you guys don’t even talk; he just wants to hold your hand and wander around, and just be with you for a little bit.

He is the one putting hair ties on YOUR gear shift and around YOUR wrist. Marking his territory lmfaooo

Learns to like coffee in college, and learns your Starbucks order pretty quickly. He’s got a very small addiction, but he always buys you a cup when he gets his own, so at least it’s beneficial for you. He doesn’t usually have much an extreme sweet tooth, but he takes his coffee with quite a few pumps of syrup and/or sweetener.

Eren loves hugs, and once he starts getting them, he refuses to go with out them. Back hugs are his favorite, whether it be you hugging him from behind, or him doing it to you; either works for him, both feel like heaven.

You know when it’s time to head home after a party/hanging with your friends because Eren will drape himself over you and gradually apply more of his body weight the more tired/drunk he gets. Regardless of whether or not he’s sloshed, he’ll still press very light and innocent kisses onto your neck and ears.

Turns out he really likes getting kisses on his cheeks. It always takes him by surprise; his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise just a bit, but he usually evens out his expression before you pull back, so you don’t see. What you do see is the sorta glazed over, happy look in his eyes, and if you look closely, you might see his pupils dilate, too.

He actually doesn’t mind reading, he just never thinks to read in his free time. When he does remember, and what he’s reading is interesting to him, he finishes the book pretty quickly—a few days, maybe a week at most—it’s kind of impressive. Then he goes on to not look at another book for a good five months lmfao.

Asked you what detergent and fabric softener you used on your sheets, then bought the exact same products to do his laundry with.

He picks you up pretty often. It’s not always tossing you over his shoulder, or carrying you bridal style, but if he needs to get to something behind you in the kitchen he’ll just. Just pick you up, turn, plop you down, get what he needs, pick you up, turn around again, and plop you right back into place. Like a doll.

Actually very good and very meticulous when it comes to cleaning. Not a single hard water stain in sight on your dishes. Sparkling countertops and tables, your oven has never looked shinier than when he’s done with it.

Doodles on his notes when he’s bored in class. Doodles on your notes if he’s bored in class and you’re there, too.

He claims to not get jealous easily, but he definitely does. His methods of dealing with it are either to (a) pout (usually only happens when he gets jealous of someone you’re telling him about), (b) find an excuse to pull you away from this other person, (c) be extremely cold to this other person, (d) pretend to be sick/tired/hungry as an excuse for you to be concerned about him/dote on him in front of this other person (this is his favorite method).

Will push your phone down/into your face if you’re laying down using it or just scrolling through your feeds. Thinks it’s peak comedy, always runs away with a little shit grin on his mouth.

He’s always tuned into you, and sometimes physically turned to you, even in a larger conversation with other people around. Finds a way to pull you into the convo if you’ve been on the quieter side, nudges at your side under the table to bother you when you’re distracted, frequently looks at you even if someone else is talking.

nsfw/suggestive

Eren really likes lazy sex, and it’s arguably one of his favorites; and for someone who’s not a morning person, he sure does like morning sex. He does this thing where he wakes up at like eight in the morning, starts feeling up on you, and eventually very lazily fucks you before you even have the chance to say good morning, then crashes and sleeps for another two hours. Sometimes he doesn’t pull out.

Always gets hard when you do try on hauls of the new clothes you’ve bought; whether it be via FaceTime or in person. You could be showing him your new sweatpants, and he’ll still find it sexy.

Can and will find time to grope you whenever possible. Getting water from the kitchen means you’re getting your ass smacked while you open the fridge. Putting on your shoes also means you’re getting your ass smacked when you bend over. Standing around debating on what to wear for the day means he’s coming up behind you to put his hands on your boobs. Doing your skincare routine in the bathroom means he’s got his hands on your hips squeezing at your skin.

Likes being bitten. Will tell you to bite him; he’ll lean down while he’s fucking you, smile wickedly when you grab and claw at his back, and you’re gasping against his shoulder, “Wanna hurt me? Go ahead, baby, do your worst.”

He loves making out with you, even if it doesn’t lead to sex; actually, sometimes, he prefers it that way. You make his head spin just by kissing him, and there’s a special kind of bliss of just rutting against each other without fucking that he loves.

Lovesssss taking mirror selfie’s with you on his lap and your back to the mirror, especially right after sex. Your head resting on his shoulder and he just barely murmurs, “Stay right there, don’t move.” Might start a collection of pics like that.

Tugging on his ear acts as encouragement, but somewhat surprisingly, that sole action doesn’t necessarily turn him on; it doesn’t turn him off, and he likes it, but it’s more... soothing? than sexual to him. What you should do instead is put your hand on the back of his neck/touch the hair near his nape.

He could have done all the work, but will still wrap you in his arms and kiss your head and tell you how good you are, how good you were to him. He really does think you fucked him 9/10 times and takes pride in it too lmaooo

Holds your jaw open with one hand, presses the index and middle fingers of his other hand against your tongue, and watches your spit pool around him. He exhales slowly at the sight, moving his fingers around to coat them evenly before pulling them out of your mouth and separating them; watches a thin line of spit connect them and groans.

Holds you jaw a lot, actually: when you’re kissing, when you’re blowing him, when he’s on top and fucking you, when he’s fucking you from behind, he’ll pull you up with one hand, use two fingers and turn your head to the side so he can kiss you.

It’s him that kinda loses it first most of the time; that gets that fucked out, hazy look in his eyes, that makes everything feel like too much so his head drops to your shoulder and he resorts to biting at your neck to further stimulate you.

Likes sucking on your tongue when you kiss. Falls in love with you all over again on the spot when you do it back to him.

You could just barely put your hands on him and Eren will groan, mutter about how you’re so sexy and how badly he wants to fuck you. Could just lay back with your chest heaving from kissing him and he’s got hearts in his eyes and his dick is hard.

#anonymous #sick and twisted and lovely and precious my boyfriend ladies and germs!!!!!#eren x reader #aot x reader #eren fluff #eren smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren.ask

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babyboibucky · 4 years ago

Text

Elevate Thy Hate

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Not a day goes by that you and Bucky don’t argue.

Word Count: 4,642

Warnings: Cliché plot but slight angst, self-doubt and Bucky being a loveable idiot who sucks at communicating

A/N: Surprise one-shot because I just remembered I wrote this like...last year lmfao

MAIN MASTERLIST

You woke up feeling great and excited. The mission was finally finished, debriefings were done and reports have been submitted. Everyone was given an entire week to get some rest and since rest days were pretty rare, you truly looked forward to this day.

Before you could even saunter in the kitchen, you had already heard the chatters from your fellow Avengers. One particular voice irked you though but hell no, you weren’t going to let one Bucky Barnes ruin your day.

A chorus of good mornings greeted you as soon as you walked into the kitchen. Nat and Steve were on one side of the counter sipping their coffee while Sam and Wanda were finishing up their food. Tony and Bruce were out of sight, probably holed up in the lab doing experiments as usual. Bucky didn’t acknowledge you and quickly headed out of the kitchen, thankfully. You weren’t in the mood to pick a fight.

Walking up to the cupboards, you quickly grabbed you favorite cereal and proceeded to pour it out on your bowl. None came out though. You peeked inside bag and saw that only crumbs of it were left.

“Who the—“

Everyone was already pointing at Bucky when you turned around to ask. And of course, Bucky did it on purpose because he stood there at the end of the hallway, watching you with smug grin on his face.

“I hope your day sucks.” He said and flipped you the bird before turning around to walk away.

You groaned out loud, ignoring the amused chuckles from everyone else in the kitchen.

“I’m not stooping down to your level, asshole! I hope your day is average!”

The day was fortunately uneventful, except for your ruined breakfast care of Bucky. You were determined not to let that annoy you for the rest of the day. So far, so good. You could only wish it’d continue that way for the rest of the week.

“I told you not to rush!” Bucky snapped.

“I had him already! If you didn’t throw that goddamn smoke grenade I would’ve killed him!” You explained.

You could see Sam shaking his head in frustration. Bucky always had to blame something on you even though you weren’t the one at fault.

Bucky snorted, “He had a sniper for fuck’s sake! One shot and you’re dead.”

“Oh wow, says the one who got shot before I did.” You rolled your eyes at Bucky.

The two of you continued to bicker until Nat and Steve walked into the living room looking confused as you and Bucky exchanged insults while Sam remained sandwiched between the both of you on the couch.

“Who got shot?” Steve asked, glancing at you and Bucky alternately.

“Did we miss out on a mission or...?” Nat continued.

Sam chuckled, “We were playing Call of Duty and we lost.” He explained, taking the opportunity to get up from the sofa.

Steve still looked lost, something that Nat immediately picked up. “It’s a video game.” She explained.

“You two are fighting over a game?” He asked you and Bucky.

“They fight over everything.” Nat shrugged and walked out of the room with Sam tagging behind her.

“I’m outta here too, I’m so done babysitting the kids.” He muttered under his breath.

It was past midnight when you were in the living room alone, watching television while eating a Whopper. The lights were turned off and it was absolutely quiet in the compound, setting the perfect ambience for the crime documentary you were watching.

Not long after, you heard someone walk into the living room. It was only when your heard the familiar grunt that you realized who it was. Of course, it had to be Bucky.

“Are you eating a burger?” He asked incredulously.

“No, it’s popcorn. Of course it’s a fucking burger, are you blind or just dumb?” You snapped, your eyes still glued on the television.

“Dumbfounded that you’re eating that at this hour. No wonder you suck at cardio.” Bucky said as he sat down on the other end of the sofa.

“Are you body-shaming me?” You gasped.

Bucky snickered, “I didn’t say anything, I just said you suck at cardio.” He said, not looking at you.

You chose to ignore him and brought your attention back to the television. It was quiet for moment. You almost forgot about Bucky’s presence until of course, he decided to annoy you yet again.

“Can you pass the remote?” Bucky asked monotonously.

“No.”

Silence.

“This show sucks.” He commented.

You were focused on the show but noticed that Bucky was staring at you.

“Can you please pass the remote?” He asked again.

“In case you didn’t notice, I’m watching. I was here first. I hold the rights to control the remote.” You deadpanned, refusing to look at him.

There was a flash of black and gold right before your eyes. Everything happened quickly and the next thing you knew, Bucky was hovering above you, trapping you between his body and the arm rest of the sofa.

“The fuck, Barnes?! Get off of me!” You protested and started pushing him away.

“You gotta work on your reflexes, darling.” He said, finally leaning away from you, remote now in his hand.

He grinned triumphantly and switched the channel before placing the remote inside his sweatpants, “Want to switch the channel? Come and get it.” he taunted as he leaned back on the couch, opening his legs wide as he showed off how the remote created a tent in his sweatpants.

That was the remote...right? You mentally slapped yourself for actually thinking about what Bucky was packing beneath those pants and frowned.

“You’re an asshole and a disgusting one.” You told him.

“God, I hate you.” You muttered and crumpled the wrapper of your burger before throwing it at Bucky.

Deciding that you didn’t want to argue any further, you got up and left the living room, but not without telling Bucky again how much you hated him for making your life miserable.

“The feeling is mutual.” You heard him say.

The petty fights with Bucky went on and on during that entire week of rest. Despite the arguments, there were small moments of kindness shared between you and the soldier.

“Where are you going dressed up so nicely?” You asked Bucky upon seeing him walk into the kitchen wearing a leather jacket on top of a black shirt, dark, tight-fitting jeans and a pair of Doc Martens.

It was meant as an insult, of course. You took every opportunity to tease Bucky and his newfound sense of fashion. Said fashion meant his taste for very millennial outfits despite his old age.

“Grocery.” He replied as he went over to the fridge to pour himself a glass of water.

“Ooh, can you buy me Starbucks on your way back? I’ll pay.” You asked kindly.

Bucky just stared at you as he drank from his glass of water. He slammed it on the counter before walking past you.

“Not a damn chance.”

He did buy you Starbucks though. It didn’t shock you that much considering that the both of you didn’t hate on each other all the damn time. But what surprised you was that he brought you your usual drink and your favorite pastry too.

Steve must have forced him to do so, probably told his best friend your usual orders as well so you made a note to thank him as soon as they got back.

And thank Steve you did, but you didn’t expect the reply that you got.

“Oh was that the reason why Bucky kept bugging me about stopping by Starbucks?” Steve asked.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “What do you mean? I thought he told you I asked him to buy me Starbucks.”

Steve chuckled, “I guess now I know why he wouldn’t shut up about it.” he said, amusement laced in his tone.

“I don’t understand, Cap.” you said.

Steve just smiled at you in response before squeezing your shoulder, “Maybe you will understand soon.”

And with that, he left you feeling even more confused. You honestly didn’t understand the context of the conversation so you decided to just ignore it. Steve sometimes would say weird shit that none of the Avengers knew about. You dismissed it and thought that maybe it was Steve being a decade old, it was probably an old man thing.

You decided to make coffee for Bucky the following day, as a simple gesture to thank him for the Starbucks. He didn’t ask you to pay him back so you felt obligated to do a little something for him. You were an asshole to him sometimes, yes, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to give credit where credit is due.

Okay, so maybe you didn’t really hate Bucky. If you did actually hate him, the entire team would probably do something about it. Maybe force the two of you to talk things out. The hatred was all fun and games, everyone seemed to be amused by it too.

You still considered Bucky your friend despite the constant bickering. You had to admit, the arguments were pretty fun.

Although, you were wondering whether Bucky felt the same about considering you as his friend. Sometimes, his attitude towards you confused the hell out of you.

One day he’d eat the chocolate you’ve been saving up for cheat day just to spite you. And it definitely did because you ended up cursing him out loud when you saw him munching on it. The next day he brought you a new one. You were watching Netflix when he waltzed into the living room and threw a bar of chocolate at your lap before walking out without saying a word.

These exchange of small yet kind (and confusing) gestures remained unacknowledged. You didn’t know why but you also didn’t feel the need to talk about them. You weren’t going to lie but Bucky’s random acts of kindness would always put a smile on your face.

The vacation unfortunately came to an end and everyone had to go back to saving the world. All of you were gathered in the conference room with Fury for a briefing about the next mission. It wasn’t as big as the last one but it still required a lot of planning.

After explaining the mission, Fury let Steve take over the meeting to strategize.

Some were assigned to do surveillance around the parameter while some were appointed to do all the groundwork. Steve of course, just had to partner you with Bucky to do the actual infiltration given that your skills complemented each other’s.

You grinned and was prepared to roast Bucky’s ass when you turned to him and was met with a scowl. He shook his head with what you assumed was disappointment and turned away from you.

It was the first time he ever dismissed you like that. Sure, you were rude to each other but the look that Bucky gave you wasn’t a teasing one. He wasn’t mocking you nor frustrated. Bucky seemed to really hate the idea of being partnered with you. It was the first time that the two of you had to work together without anyone else. Usually, Steve or Sam joined but for this mission, it was just you and Bucky. Concluding that he must have woken up at the wrong side of the bed, you chose to ignore your gut feeling and focused back to Steve.

After the meeting, everyone else exited the room and started with the preparations for the mission. As you walked down the hallway leading to your bedroom, you heard some soft chattering coming from Steve’s bedroom.

You were supposed to ignore it until you heard your name, making you stop in your tracks.

“I can’t be partnered with her, Steve.”

Bucky.

“Buck, just go with it. I can’t be changing assignments at the last minute.” Steve explained.

Bucky sighed, “You know I can’t function properly when she’s around, let alone be partnered with her. She distracts me, Steve. Her skills distract me and I swear on our friendship, I would end up dying on this assignment.”

“You’re being overly dramatic, Buck. Just suck it up, pal. Do the mission and get it over with.”

“Steve, you don’t understand. I really can’t deal with her. Especially if it’s just the two of us. You know how much I fucking—“

“Hate me?”

You couldn’t help but interject in their conversation. How could you not? Bucky was complaining about how he couldn’t deal with you. It really hurt hearing Bucky say all those things about you. Sure, you were somewhat new to the team and you didn’t have superpowers nor years of training like the rest. But you worked your ass off to be in this position. And for him to say that he couldn’t function with you being around struck a nerve. The last thing on your mind was to hold back your teammates, that’s why you train twice, thrice as hard.

Steve and Bucky stared at you as if they’ve seen a ghost. It’s as if all their blood was drained out of their body when they saw you step inside the room. Bucky was about to say something but you decided to cut him off, not wanting to hear more about how he doesn’t want to be partnered with you.

“We don’t get along that well, I get that. But I honestly thought that our arguments were harmless. Hell, I consider us friends. I didn’t think that you actually hated me.” Your voice quivered because you were truly, deeply hurt.

“That’s not what I meant.” Bucky insisted.

“You literally said that you might end up dying because of being partnered with me, Bucky! Look, I know that I don’t have a super serum running through my veins. I can’t move things with my mind and I can’t come up with life-changing tech. I wasn’t trained since childhood nor have the perfect aim. But I worked hard to be in this team. I trained hard not to be a burden to anyone and I’m sorry if my skills aren’t up to your standards.”

What did you even do to Bucky for him to hate you this much?

“Don’t worry, I won’t burden you. Once this mission is over, I won’t bother you anymore. Ever.” You said before walking out of the way, ignoring Bucky when he had repeatedly called your name.

The ride to the location was filled with tension. Although everyone else had no idea what happened, they somehow knew that the tension had something to do with you and Bucky.

Thankfully, the quinjet was big enough for you not to end up sitting beside Bucky.

“You okay?” Wanda asked, noticing how restless you were.

What you heard definitely affected you in more ways than one. You kept on double checking your weapons, your gadgets and you even ended up doubting yourself. Were you really equipped to be an Avenger? Steve said that Bucky was merely overacting but what if he was right? What if you weren’t skilled enough to protect him or your teammates?

“That’s not true.” Wanda said out of the blue. “I didn’t mean to read your mind, though. Your thoughts are coming off too strong, kinda hard to ignore.” She said apologetically.

You softly laughed, “I should really be staying away from you.” You joked.

Wanda smiled and placed her hand on top of yours, “I mean it though. You’re amazing at what you do. I don’t understand why you’re doubting yourself about being an Avenger.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you offered Wanda a grateful smile. You noticed that Bucky had been staring at you the entire time but simply ignored him. You weren’t going to let him snap you out of your focus.

Once on location, everyone started to split up and listened for Steve’s orders through the comms. You and Bucky managed to get inside the base, all thanks to Nat and the Hulk who handled all the guards.

The building was completely empty when the two of you walked around in search of the hidden quarters where all the intel were kept.

Bucky whistled to get your attention, you turned and saw that he was motioning towards what seemed to be a regular brick wall. However, there were a few bricks out of place and upon examining it, you realized it was some sort of a secret door. You managed to figure out which bricks to push and thankfully, it didn’t take you long enough to open the door which revealed an old, steel elevator.

“We found the entrance, Steve.” Bucky said into the comms.

“Careful in there, there were suspiciously a few guards within the parameters. They all might be in there.” Nat warned.

You heaved out a deep breath before stepping into the elevator with Bucky trailing behind you. There was only one button in the elevator, a red one.

“Can someone scan the elevator and make sure this button won’t set off any boobie trap or something?” You asked nervously as you inspected the elevator for any hidden traps.

The comms cracked with Sam’s voice. “Button is safe although...” he trailed.

“Although what?” Bucky asked, examining the elevator as well.

“You’re in for a long ride.”

You frowned, “How long?” You asked.

“Can’t see. It’s way too deep.”

Sam was able to scan the entire base and true enough, the elevator would lead deep down into the hidden laboratory. How deep into the ground it was, none could tell. Neither Sam nor Tony’s technology could see through due to the lack of signal. Steve said it might be dangerous to proceed given that there were no other ways into the lab except for the elevator.

The lack of signal down there meant no communication.

“Guys, I don’t think it’s a good idea to continue with this mission.” Steve said.

“But we’re so close, Steve.” You said.

“I think Steve is right. It’d be hard to call for back up when things go south.” Bucky interjected, not even sparing you a glance.

You snorted. Bucky sure wasn’t overacting when he was complaining about your skills. He definitely didn’t trust you. You weren’t going to settle for that.

“We won’t need any back up.”

And with that, you pressed the red button and completely ignored everyone’s warnings through the comms. Bucky looked at you with disbelief and tried to press the red button again in hopes of halting the elevator. However, the brick wall had closed and the elevator started its descent.

“Why the fuck did you do that?!” He yelled and tried to search the elevator for some sort of stop button.

“We’ll follow soon!” Steve’s voice was the last you heard before your comms completely lost its signal.

“Christ, we don’t even know whether it’s the lab that’s down there!” Bucky said, continuing his search for anything that would bring the both of you up to the ground floor.

“I’m not as stupid as you think I am. All secret doors lead to a top secret room and no, we won’t be needing any back up because I am totally capable of taking down anyone who gets in the way.” You stubbornly replied and leaned against the wall.

You wondered how long the elevator ride was going to be. At the speed that it’s going, it wasn’t impossible to take at least fifteen to twenty minutes if the lab was really far down into the ground. Bucky’s frustration was evident from the way he kept on inspecting the elevator walls. At first it was easy to ignore but Bucky was becoming more and more desperate to find a way to go back up.

“Your desperation to stay away from me is just...astounding.” You said with a bitter chuckle.

“I’m finding a way to get out of here, not away from you.” Bucky explained calmly.

You shook your head, “You don’t trust me to keep you alive, I get it. But can you tone it down even for just a bit?” You spat at him.

Bucky pressed the bridge of his nose and let out an exasperated sigh, “You don’t need to keep me alive.”

“Of course not, you don’t need me to do so ‘cause you’re so capable. How did I not think of that?” At this point, you couldn’t stop the word vomit.

You had tons of things to say to Bucky to prove to him that you were totally good at what you do, that he didn’t need to underestimate you just because you were a new addition to the team.

“That’s not what I mean.” Bucky explained again.

It was starting to annoy you that the more you were becoming agitated, the calmer he was becoming. And he kept on telling you that he meant differently with his statements but he never really attempted to further explain his side.

“Then what do you mean, Bucky?” You pressed. “What did I ever do to you for you to hate me this much? Did I say something offensive? Do I have to train 24/7 for you to think that I deserve to be working alongside the Avengers?” You kept on babbling on and on and on.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand, “I don’t hate you, okay?” He doesn’t even spare you a look.

All this time, he was looking at anything but you and it was really getting on your nerves.

“See? You keep on telling me that you don’t hate me but you can’t even look at me! I mean, if you really loathe me then own up to it! It hurts me more that you keep on denying it when you can’t even explain a damn thing. At least tell me why!” You were never an emotional person and Bucky knew that, so when he finally turned to look at you, he was surprised to see you on the verge of tears.

“Hey, hey...” Bucky coaxed and tried to hold you but you stepped away from him.

“Just please tell me why, Buck. Tell me and I promise to stay away. If you think I suck at being an Avenger to the point of irritating you, tell me so I can train my fucking ass off until you deem me fit to be an Avenger. If my jokes offended you, I’m sorry. If I—“

“It’s because I like you.”

“...what?”

Bucky Barnes...likes you? It’s as if the silence went on forever inside the elevator that seemed to keep going. How long were the two of you inside it anyway? You couldn’t tell anymore and you didn’t know whether Bucky was simply fooling around with you.

“That’s not funny.” You said.

Bucky shook his head, “It’s not a joke.”

You stared at him doubtfully, “Explain.” You demanded.

Bucky licked his lips and let out a soft chuckle, “I’m an idiot.” He said.

“That doesn’t explain anything. If any, I’d think you’re simply fucking with me.” You pointed out and crossed your arms over your chest.

That seemed to urge Bucky to finally explain. “What you heard in Steve’s room was correct.”

“So you really hate me.”

Bucky groaned, “Let me finish, please?” He pleaded. When you remained silent, he continued to explain himself.

“You really do distract me during missions. Because you’re so amazing and I never doubted your skills. But I also get worried and I hate it when I see you in pain or wounded and it fucking distracts me. I didn’t want to be partnered with you because when I see you, I just...fuck. I like you that much. You kick someone’s ass and I’d end up watching you with awe that it’d cause me my own demise. That’s what I meant. That I’d probably end up dying because whenever you’re around, you have my full attention.”

The anger within you dissipated just like that. You could feel your face heat up from Bucky’s unexpected confession.

“But you’re an asshole to me.” You pointed out.

Bucky laughed, “Because that’s how I get your attention. You walk into a room with a kind-hearted super soldier, a witty bird brain and a few more intelligent men and yet I’d be the first one you’d acknowledge. With a snarky comment but still, attention is attention. It’s the only way I get to interact with you without feeling awkward. I suck at conversations, I mean, you heard me and though I was hating on you when I was merely blabbering to Steve about how much I like you.”

This time, you couldn’t hold back your laughter. All along, Bucky was finding a way to talk to you even though it meant constant arguments over the pettiest things. To be fair though, he really did suck at communicating.

“I’m sorry that it came across like that.” Bucky apologized sincerely. “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.” He admitted.

You shrugged, “Oh but it does. In fact, it changes everything.”

Bucky’s face fell.

“Because I think I like you too and I kinda want for things to change. For the better of course.” You grinned.

Bucky chuckled and scratched his forehead bashfully, “You think, huh? Not sure?” He asked and turned to you just as the elevator doors opened.

Indeed, it led to the lab where almost all of the targets stayed. The man nearest the elevator had his gun pointed at Bucky but before he could even pull the trigger, Bucky had thrown his knife at him without even sparing a glance and choked the next guy to attack with his metal arm before throwing him towards a group of armed men. He was just gazing at you with a smittened smile.

“Still not sure about liking me back?”

Impressed at his gesture, you smirked.

“Now I am.”

By the time Steve, Nat and Sam walked out of the elevator, the mission had already been done. You walked towards the trio and handed Steve a USB.

“All their data is already saved there. Wiped out their entire system clean too.” You told him, voice chirpy and all.

Bucky was right behind you, a couple of folders in his hands before handing them to Sam, “Lotsa confidential info in there too which includes our next targets.” he said and walked past Sam with a certain jump in his steps.

The three exchanged glances before looking around the entire lab. Men were scattered on the floor, most were dead and others heavily injured.

“What the hell happened here?” Nat asked, avoiding the injured men on the ground as she walked around.

“The mission happened, Nat. All that matters now is that everything has been resolved. I mean, everything.” You said meaningfully and threw Bucky a flirty smile before walking into the elevator.

He followed suit and saluted at the three before pushing the red button. The doors weren’t even closed yet when Bucky couldn’t hold back and quickly leaned to press a soft kiss on your lips. An action that definitely didn’t go unnoticed by the three. You couldn’t help but chuckle when you noticed their reactions before the elevator closed.

Said trio stood there dumbfounded and confused as hell. Early on, the tension between you and Bucky was felt by everyone. The kind of tension then wasn’t even a sexual one. It was so intense that Nat was actually expecting to see you and Bucky at each other’s throats when they got down to the lab.

“Guess that the long ass elevator ride did something. Whatever was in that elevator seems interesting. Wanna go check it out, Nat?” Sam asked suggestively.

Steve chuckled and shook his head.

Nat simply smirked and walked past Sam, “In your dreams, Wilson.”

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3

#bbbwrites #oneshots: bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #sebastian stan

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alienaiver · 3 years ago

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Birthday Pancakes

Tsukishima Kei x gn!reader

warnings: its a genderneutral reader but there’s jewelry involved! wordcount: 1.8k content: birthday fic, gender neutral reader, fluff, post-timeskip, ‘baby’ and ‘my love’ used as nicknames, tsukishima is v stressed at the grocery store lmfao

notes: ITS 12AM HERE and therefor february fifth!!! i made this for @opulencexx ‘s birthday, happy birthday my dear!!! its based off this tsukishima birthday post she made over on @strawberrytsukkixx ! (i hope its alright i wrote this off of it....<3) opal luv i hope you have an amazing day and get something delicious to eat, i wanted to give u smth to make u smile, i hope it serves its purpose!! <33 (also this was supposed to be like....600words LMFAO it got out of hand, whoopsie)

---

Tsukishima thanked his lucky stars that going for runs on the weekend wasn’t out of character for him. So when he sneaked out of your shared apartment Saturday at 6.45AM you simply slept through it comfortably, none the wiser that his tracksuit was still sitting neatly folded in the closet as he walked down to the supermarket.

He could just imagine you right now, hugging his pillow tight as you’d tangled your legs with his duvet, pretending he was still next to you as you lightly snored and got your well-deserved rest. Tsukishima rarely said it out loud, but your sleeping face was probably one of his favorite things about you – when you slept next to him at least, you always looked relaxed and comfortable and the first time you’d slept next to each other, you’d drooled a ton on his chest, but at the time he couldn’t help but lightly chuckle and go back to running his fingers through your hair. He’d always prided himself in you feeling so safe with him from early on and the happiness that rose in his chest every time he thought about it put a blush to his cheeks – one he currently hid by burying his face more in his scarf.

Running in the early morning was one thing but walking? He dreaded it in the winter cold, but it was really important to him that his plans had stayed secret – you were out grocery shopping together yesterday, getting the ingredients for your birthday dinner but if he’d started filling the basket with eggs, cream, chocolate chips and strawberries you’d definitely realize where he was going with those and ruin the surprise he’d planned for months. He’d even been afraid that he had gotten rusty with his famous pancakes since he hadn’t made them for at least a year so he’d made his first practice-batch in early December, telling you that Friday evening that he was simply impulsively in the mood for them (he wasn’t) and the next time was during the holidays, trying out how the chocolate pieces would fit in the recipe or if it needed further adjustments, putting it down as holiday treats.

As he entered the supermarket, he first noted how few people there were, probably due to the time he arrived. On his way down to the dairy products, he only spotted an older man and the cashier on his way in. He’d never really understood why they opened so early but he sent yet another silent thank you to the Gods that must have been looking out for him because this way he could get the ingredients without alarming you at all.

He filled the basket as fast as he could, only stopping momentarily to change the song playing in his headset a few times. He wanted to get home to you as fast as possible and get started before you had any chance on waking up. You were luckily the type to sleep in on Saturdays, but he really didn’t want to take any chances today – the past week had been trying for you as if the world was bent to see you break so he really wanted to spoil you today and make you feel special. As he passed the tea aisle he quickly put in a pack of your favorite tea – he’d noticed you only had a few bags of it left in the cupboard and didn’t want you to run out.

As he reached the fruit aisle, he felt his pulse rise as he couldn’t spot any strawberries at all. He looked around twice more, feeling panic settle in his ribs – when you’d both been here last night, he’d taken stock and seen a few so why weren’t there any today? He’d have to stop by the convenience store on the way and hope that they had any that looked halfway decent.

As he got up to the cashier and put the ingredients on the cash register, he silently went through his shopping list and double checked everything was there – he seemed to be in the clear and the clock said 7.15AM which meant he still had a solid few hours before the risk of you waking up would rise exponentially. The cashier was a teenager chewing on bubblegum who spent ages ringing in his things making him tap his food in impatience. It wasn’t their fault; they were just working a shitty shift, but Tsukishima hadn’t planned time to stop by the convenience store, so he really wanted to get a move on so he could get home to you.

As he lightly jogged to the convenience store, he went through his plan in his mind – he’d bought you a necklace this year. After being promoted at the museum he could afford to splurge a little more. You’d both decided a price cap on Christmas presents so he’d just given you those fluffy socks you wanted and a new kettle (though that was basically for the both of you).

The necklace was in silver, a longer but slimmer chain that what he’d usually seen you wear and with a crescent moon attached. He’d found it unexpectedly one day window shopping and after a few days he couldn’t stop thinking of how good it’d look on you, so he went down to buy it.

That was three months ago and keeping it a secret from you had been harder than he’d expected since you lived together and touched every part of each other’s spaces - so he ended up bringing it with him to the office after a few weeks. Right now, it was settled nicely in his jacket pocket, his hands reaching down to cup it once, just to make sure it was still there.

Tsukishima was getting tired of sending thank you’s to unknown deities on this trip but upon finding fresh and good-looking strawberries at the convenience store he was just about ready to go down on his knees and offer his entire life to whatever higher power was making this possible for him. He sped up on his way home, listening to Guillotine by Jon Bellion – the song always reminded him of you.

Upon entering the apartment, he heard shuffling from the bedroom so while putting the groceries as quietly down as he could he went in to check on you, feeling his heartrate rise when he saw you standing, “baby what’s up? Why are you up?” he tries, walking over to give you a kiss. He sees you rubbing your eyes, a pout visible on your lips, “had to pee…” you mumble, accepting the kiss on the cheek before lying back down in your bed, “come cuddle Kei…” you make grabby hands at his standing figure with the pout on your face is still very visible. He leans down and kisses you again, “I will, have to shower first,” he lies, wrapping you in your duvet again. You grumble something incorrigible as you get yourself comfortable. He smiles at you, “happy birthday,” he whispers before going out to grab the groceries in the hallway.

He waits 20 minutes in the kitchen in silence, afraid you’d wake up again the second he started cracking eggs so when he hadn’t heard a sound from you in a while, he feels confident he can continue. Making the pancake batter went smoothly but whisking it by hand took a while longer than he thought it would – clicking his tongue at the incessant lumps of flour. He’d want to save using the electric whisk for when he needed to make the whipped cream just in case it’d wake you up – he wasn’t sure how deep you’d be sleeping when you’d technically already been up, so he wasn’t risking anything.

He looks triumphantly at the dinner table in front of him, hands at his waist. The table was set with the perfectly cooked pancakes, two cups of coffee freshly brewed, cut-out strawberries, home-made whipped cream and syrup at the ready next to your usual seat. He smiled before snapping a quick picture, pocketing the phone and walking into your bedroom. You slept peacefully still, hugging his duvet cover and drooling on your pillow. He quickly snapped a picture of you there too before leaning down above you, kissing your cheeks and caressing your warm arms. You steered only a little, so he kissed your forehead too, ruffling your hair softly. You turned to him slowly before raising your arms and winding them around his neck, “Happy Birthday, my love” he smiles at you, kissing your lips. You mumble something against his cheek before trying to pull him on top you. He lets out a warm laugh – the one that makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter and talks again, “there’s no time to cuddle right now baby, the breakfast’s gonna get cold,” and your eyes open more, waking up that much faster. “Breakfast?”

“Mhm, you better come up and eat it while it’s still warm.”

As you enter the kitchen clumsily, your eyes still covered by Tsukishima’s slender fingers, the scent hits you and you have a feeling of where this is going. Nonetheless it doesn’t stop the surprised – and excited – gasp that leaves you as he removes his hands from your eyes. In front of you stands the most glorious breakfast you’d seen in a while, coupled with a delicious – and still hot, it seems – cup of coffee. Next to your plate lies a neatly packed present in light orange packaging and blue ribbon tied with a nice bow on top. You look back at him with the biggest grin, “is all this for me?” you hurry to sit down before he replies, hearing his chuckle behind you as you scoop up the first pancake to be the victim of your stomach.

After decorating your pancake, you take your first bite only to hum in delight and bounce a bit on your seat upon tasting the chocolate inside as well. As you look up at your boyfriend, positively with stars in your eyes, he blushes and looks away from the sheer happiness radiating off you as he scratches his neck sheepishly, “Happy Birthday… again,” he tries, smiling almost shyly at you. You laugh excitedly as you take another bite, “thank you so much for this Kei, it’s amazing!”

Tsukishima turns off the light in the kitchen, listening to you hum as you walk down towards your bedroom with a pep in your step. When he enters the bedroom you’re already on the bed, making the same grabby hands at him as you did this morning and with a small laugh he complies this time, crawling in next to you and wrapping you in his arms before letting his hands run through your hair. He’s about to ask if you liked the present he gave you, but a small snore alerts him, and he sees you’re already asleep again. He snuggles closer to you before reaching his free arm to take off his glasses, blindly putting them on the nightstand behind him and leaning down to give you a kiss on the top of your head, “I love you so much.”

#tbh i was about to post this way early just bcos im afraid youll miss it before u leave :((( IOFHSHSDFVN #so if i end up posting this before 12am? no i didnt u aint seeing the clock right LOLFOSJFKLSFS #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x you #hq x fluff #hq x reader #nohr.writing #also opal!! if u see this post before u leave and dont have the energy to react yet ot wahtveer its fine!!! u can always react later if youd #like!!! i just hope it got to u ehheheh <33333 #ALSO FUN FACT: i wanted to use ajj brave as a noun as the song... but my bff informed me it isnt a romantic song and just????#apparently it isnt. i just listen to it and think. wow romance KANENNDN #so i chose jon bellion to b safe skdksn

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chubbymoongoddess · 3 years ago

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So, I kind of had an idea? Jm's alpha has to leave town for a few months. Some kind of business he has to attend to. Jm tries to beg him not to go, because he's going to be lonely, but his alpha /needs/ to go if they're going to be able to keep food on the table. Jm pouts but he understands. He doesn't make money anyway. His alpha has insisted that he stay home so he could be pampered. Jm definitely doesn't mind this! He loves to be able to stay home and do what he likes and he's always sure to show how appreciative of his alpha he is for taking care of him so well. The pampering shows on Jm's frame. He's not huge by any means, but he does have a small pot belly that his shirts cling to and jiggles when he walks and his ass is pretty thick and wobbles slightly as well. He's fine with it and his alpha seems to love it anyway so..

The first few days oh him being alone goes over well. He has no issues other than missing his alpha once in a while but they get to talk over the phone every night, so it helps. However, after the first week? Jm is bored and he's starting to go nuts with lack of any sort of affection. His alpha left his card with him so he could take care of himself.. which leads to Jm turning to food to try and fill the void that he's going to have for the next few months.

Well, thanks to all of the food he crams into his gut daily, the omega kind of.. balloons. His little potbelly has turned into a proper double belly, the bottom always hanging out of the bottom of his shirts which are now way too tight thanks to his stomach and his heavy tits. His arms can just barely fit through the arms holes of his clothes, being squeezed more than he likes. He's stopped wearing any of his pants other than sweats and even those are really tight on him. He has trouble pulling them over his ass which has started to just slightly hang off the side of their dining room chairs. His thighs rubbed together when he walked and were threatening to burst out of any of the pants he /did/ try on, excluding the sweats. He didn't mind it, he thought he'd be able to work it all off when his alpha got back. Surely, he'd understand why Jm turned to comfort food right?

The food helped comfort the omega when he wanted affection, but it didn't help when he needed his alpha to fill him. Sure, the food was filling, but it didn't really feel the same to him. It took the omega a few days of trying to find ways to satisfy himself, but nothing worked. Until an idea popped into his mind. He already had a bunch of cola at home with him, he just needed to get some mentos. After a quick grocery store run, Jm came back with a few packs. He settled himself down in his favorite chair with a few bottles of soda and the packs of mentos resting next to him. He had no idea how to really do this, so he figured he'd only do a few, just to test the waters. It would only be a small waste if it didn't work anyway.

The omega opened the pack of mentos, swallowing two, one right after another before taking a big gulp of his soda. At first, it didn't really feel like anything was happening so, he took another two and another gulp. It was then that he felt his guy expanding, making him whine quietly. It definitely wasn't anything like his alpha, but he did start to feel like he was full. It helped that his belly expanded too, just like it would when his alpha had given him his knot. The only problem with this was all of the bubbles Jm could feel in his stomach. They rose up his throat, releasing themselves as a large belch that shook the omega's stomach. He blushed furiously, covering his mouth as he looked down at himself. Fuck.. that had actually tuned him on. Maybe he'd.. do this a little more often then?

Jm continued to use food as comfort and would bloat himself with the mentos when he needed to feel "full" and soon, the few months his alpha needed to be gone had passed. His alpha had decided to surprise Jm with coming home a day earlier than he intended and when he opened their front door, he was greeted with Jimin sitting naked on the couch, a few empty bottles of cola strewn around him with his stomach looking overly stuffed and glutted to the max. The omega had his eyes closed, moaning quietly while rubbing over his taut stomach, letting a few burps out here and there. When his alpha cleared his throat, the omega's eyes shot open and he tried to jump up from the couch, resulting in a large belch that bubbled up from his throat. Jm's cheeks turned beet red as he fumbled over his words. "I- I can explain-"

his alpha grinned. "You can.. but first? I want you in the bed."

---

I dunno. A lot more can be like..explained here and there but yeah lmfao. Alpha can be any member you want.

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tsukishimaenthusiast · 5 years ago

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can i request some domestic hcs with iwa, bokuto, and akaashi,,, like maybe grocery shopping or smt. tysm!

domestic headcanons for iwaizumi, bokuto, and akaashi

chief … i hope this is good

iwaizumi:

youse were running low on groceries

so iwa drove you guys to the store

he grabbed the cart and walked with you through the aisles

he let you walk in front of the cart n he jus followed behind you

“honey, we need to get that. i’m going to use it for dinner tonight,” you said while pointing to an item on the top shelf

iwa stepped away from cart and went behind you

he reached for the item and handed it to you

“thanks~”

he slid his hand down your back as he moved back to the cart so u two could start moving again

“you can pick whichever meat you want for tonight but also grab some for the rest of the week.”

iwaizumi looks so happy when u tell him he can choose lmfao😔🤚🏽

you went into another aisle as he picked

before he meets with u again tho, he grabs a couple of chips and stuff

“really hajime? what about your diet?”

“no, it’s okay. it’s on sale,” he defended

but then you guys are heading towards the cashier and pass through the freezer aisle

iwa sees you eyeballing the ice cream

he sighs, “which flavor do you want, y/n?”

you gave him a big smile and picked your favorite flavor

so iwa pays for the groceries

you help him bring them to the car even tho he’s carrying most of them

he makes sure they all fit properly in the car n makes sure nothing will break, crack, spill, etc !

bokuto:

you n bokuto are hosting a bbq

you two invited ur close friends & family

one of ur cousin’s has small kids

n they all flock to bokuto

they hang off his arms and climb his body n stuff

bokuto lets them bc he knows he can handle it

you can’t help but imagine what a great dad he would be when u guys start having kids

homeboy is by the grill n just getting his bbq ONNNN

bokuto gets along w EVERYONE in ur family

he’s literally the life of the party

he dances w the kids 👉🏼👈🏼

and when he dances with you, he holds you really close to him

overall just STRAIGHT UP havin a good time 😌

and when everyone leaves, he tells you he’ll clean everything cause he knows ur tired

but u don’t let him

you two clean up the backyard and put everything away

“baby, go take a shower and sleep. i’ll take care of the rest.”

PLEASEE IMFSSOSN KMSOSO FT FORHIM

akaashi:

furniture shopping ! and just shopping for other stuff for ur home

one of your dressers broke so ur out with akaashi to get a new one

and you find one you both like…. but end up looking at a whole bunch of other stuff

“we could put this mirror in our closet. i mean… you’ve talking about wanting a full body mirror for a while,” akaashi said

he puts it in the cart lmfao🤚🏽

you spot a comforter for ur bed with akaashi’s fav colors

“sweetie, do you want to get this?”

he nods and takes it from you to put in the cart 🥺

you guys don’t NEED a new couch but test them out anyways bc it’s fun

“if our couch ever gets ruined, let’s get this one,” akaashi said while laughing

it’s fun going shopping for things like this with akaashi because you guys have similar styles and it makes everything so much easier

it’s getting late so you guys decide to finally wrap things up

and you two end up bringing home three plants somehow

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dottie-wan-kenobi · 6 years ago

Note

Also I want a marvel pairing for the listy thing so let's go with...Thor and Valkyrie, since I watched Ragnarok today

Oh YEET

Some of these are AU where they made it to Earth btw

who worries about what they will look like when they are older?

I mean they’re both pretty old, but Thor is canonically younger than Valkyrie so I’m gonna say him. it’s probably tied into “what am I gonna look like when I’m an old king” (while that was still applicable to his situation) instead of “am I gonna have wrinkles???” tho

who hogs the blanket?

they both do it and it got so bad they have to sleep under separate blankets, or specially made blankets that are so big it’s like two put together, meaning they each get one while still being under the same blanket together

who eats the others uneaten pizza crusts?

Thor. Valkyrie doesn’t understand why humans like pizza at first, but then she has some and likes it, but only wants the “good parts” so Thor eats the crusts (’cause he likes them for some reason lmao)

who is more likely to cry over a sad book or movie?

Thor. he’s a lot more emotional than Valkyrie is, so yeah when a dog dies in the movie they’re watching, he’s the one with tears in his eyes while Valkyrie’s like pretending she’s not upset by the emotions onscreen too (tho she doesn’t cry, because it’s just a dog)

who talks smack while playing video games?

Valkyrie. she gets in the zone and it just slips out. also, if she’s playing a game with strangers, those strangers are usually boys saying she can’t play because she’s a woman, so she dunks on ‘em while categorically mocking every single one of their fuck ups

who sings along with the radio?

Valkyrie. it takes a while to get used to Earth music but once she does, she sings her favorite songs and sometimes, especially if she’s in the shower, accompanies them with like hand movements/acting. she really really gets into it

who would enter them both into a talent show?

probably Thor just bc that seems like something he’d be interested in doing?? Val would either opt out or win the whole competition, no in between

who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking?

Thor. he was the prince of Asgard, he doesn’t know how to cook for himself, and also when he’s hungry and doesn’t want to wait for the oven, he will use lightning and he will scorch the ceiling and counters

who would throw the other into a pool?

Val would throw Thor and jump in right after. Thor likes when she shows how strong she is, and she likes touching his bare chest and then seeing it dripping wet, so it’s a win-win situation

who shops for groceries?

they probably have servants for this lmfao, I just don’t see either of them doing it really

who kills the spiders?

generally neither, but sometimes Val will be too tired to release it outside and she’ll put a cup over it and forget about it

who is the morning/night person?

I get the feeling they’re both disgusting morning people who get up early to work out or run laps or something, and though they can stay up late just fine, their internal clocks wake them up with the sun and then they’re both tired all day long

whO PROPOSES?

I can’t decide

if it’s Thor, he’s a big bumbling idiot about it like stumbling over his words and blushing like “I know that you do not care for Asgardian royalty...that is, you do not care for past royals, I would hope you care for me...no, I mean I KNOW you care for me, you’ve said so, but....” “get to the point babe” “I’m very poorly attempting to ask you if you would like to be the queen of Asgard...that is, if you would like to marry me....” “I would love that”

if it’s Val, I imagine that it’s after a battle or a long day/week or sex, they’re tired and in bed, and they’re just laying together and she feels so at peace, and suddenly it feels like the Right Time to do something about the question that’s been rolling around in her head for a while now, so she takes his hand in hers and whispers “Thor?” “yes?” “I love you” “I love you too” “I wanna spend the rest of my days with you” and she’s feeling awkward about it, but it’s the right choice and she’s happy she’s doing it, esp when he says “I do as well”

Send me a ship and I’ll answer these questions!

#valkyriethor #thorvalkyrie #brunnhildethor #thorbrunnhilde #valthor #thorval #thor x valkyrie #valkyrie x thor #brunnhilde x thor #thor x brunnhilde #thor #valkyrie #brunnhilde #calihart

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theperfectblonde · 3 years ago

Text

Weighed myself this morning and very surprisingly after all the eating I’ve been doing I’m only 150.8 :’)

Only 2lbs heavier than my lowest and yet 2lbs seems like so much 😔 really no complaints though. But I feel like my fat and loose skin is more noticeable, especially in my arms, back of thighs and stomach :(

I’m supposed to see the guy I’m “seeing” tomorrow and have a talk… so I’m trying to full clean my bedroom and do all of my self care things for hair and skin today since I got the day off of work for a rain day today lol. Plus I got my pay cheque and money that people have owed me and my prof contacted me about some awards I can apply for and she’d write a reference for AND I found a 4 leaf clover at work the other day too so I am really hoping that things are coming together finally 😔🙏

I’ve gained sooo much muscle though, it’s crazy. Like my thighs are rock solid lmfao. It just sucks because I literally *cant* starve myself or I’ll pass out at work, especially since I’ve picked up smoking again. Smoking somewhat helps curb my appetite but I’m at a point where even after I eat I’m already hearing my stomach growl for more, it’s insane lmfao. Plus I still haven’t been grocery shopping and my mom keeps ordering food or making food that I don’t eat and making a fuck ton of leftovers so my food insecurity doesn’t let it go to waste so I haven’t been eating right for so long :’) and my body hurts from working so I’ve needed to rest after work and haven’t been able to do workouts, and every time I do it makes me MORE hungry lol. Vicious cycle 😂

Idk. Idk what to do; I think I’m going to try and be gentle with myself and give my body another week or so to adjust to work conditions, and just work on portion control. I’m really hoping my weight will naturally go down on its own eventually, and then when I workout at home I’m going to focus just on certain problem areas since I’m moving my whole body at work. Hopefully that works. Plus I’m starting to take a multivitamin and I’m hoping that helps too. It’s really weird to be eating normally, even poorly sometimes, and still never leave the 150-155 zone, and somehow also not feel bad about that…? I don’t 100% love my body rn, but I feel happy and confident in it. The pandemic honestly really saved me and gave me the time to make my body into what I wanted it to be. I’m really grateful that I got my shit together and am able to maintain it; I don’t want to take this lightly and ruin what I gave myself.

#day x

0 notes

jayflrt · 3 years ago

Note

glad to know im not the only one who thinks men are too loud when drinking HAHA im sorry but i found so funny imagining two people arguing over the closet 💀 since we have mutual friends we knew about each other's existence but never paid any mind since he's from other faculty and most of the time i was with my head buried on books but thanks to a friend of us insta's story we started talking and now we have sort of a group of friends ???

THEY PAID $2 FOR EVERY NUT LOL and they said it because back then they were obsessed with being a REAL MAN and that included being honest about that stuff, i also remember that they had a week in December, i think, that was like a NUT WEEK and the one who did it most time won money 😭😭😭😭 god why i couldn't go to a normal high school

when u can, pls get some rest!! istg i love my career but sometimes im on the edge of falling asleep in the middle of a highway

that's an amazing goal! proud of u for taking care of yourself <3 im so sorry you had to eat one meal a day for uni motives, ive been there and it sucks so im glad u eat more now 🤧 why is a struggle for u?:( most of the time i enjoy cooking but i hate eating in uni since my mind it's like: we have 20 minutes

omg, from jun to jay,,, i find it funny bc people say they look alike HAHAHA im taking care of myself but all ive done today is sleep and eat mintchoco and sleep again

- 🏹 anon

maybe it has smthn to do with their adam’s apple 😵‍💫 otherwise they’re just obnoxiously loud for no good reason !! ALSO LMFAO it was such a ridiculous argument we argue over everything 😭😭 and that’s so sweet :’)) and such a happy coincidence you guys ended up getting to know each other??

$2??? 😭😭 their poor bank accounts oh my goddd <//3 ahh the “real man” discourse always has me running in the opposite direction bc of how absurd it is to me LOL and omg was it destroy dick december ?? 💀 i know you’re supposed to get off as many times as the corresponding day HAHAH idk how ppl go past like ,, 8

i get to sleep in tmrw bc my internship meeting got pushed back to next week !!! i’m so happy 🤍🤍🤍 my class also got cancelled tomorrow so the stars must be aligning 🤩 and oh my gosh you get some rest too when you can 🥲💗 i don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel!!! also what’s your job if you don’t mind me asking? 🥰

ahh right !!! i feel like it’s just a universal uni student experience to have had a terrible eating schedule </3 i think there was literally only one day where i had my three meals a day but it’s okay we’ll try to work back up slowly :’)) today i wanted to eat a healthier but my roommates wanted to get take out 😖 HAHAH SAME i think i’d enjoy cooking a lot more if i had the a) time and b) money. bc buying your own groceries and ingredients is lowkey stressful :’)

omg i remember they said that in iland !!! tbh since i bias quite a few juns, it stood for like junhui, renjun, yeonjun, etc 🌸🌸 omg im glad !! i hope your day/night goes well and you treat yourself 🥰 tomorrow i might go treat myself to some caffeine 💘

#💌 : jayflrt love notes #🏹 anon

0 notes

thepuckishrogue · 3 years ago

Text

Disclaimer: This was written at 3-something in the am, so it probably makes fuck-all sense.

*deep inhale*

PUNCH ME IN THE FACE THIS IS ADORABLE. ((also that pic is *chef’s kiss* def made me do a double take before laughing))

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let us proceed with the review. Slapping it under a ‘read more’ since I don’t wanna clutter up folk’s dash with my foolishness...

So I’m hella late, but last week ended on an annoyingly terrible note. Blah-blah 13 hour blackout, blah-blah having to go grocery shopping again because of said blackout. It was a whole ass thing, but now I’m back and I get to read this so it’s all good.

Right, so--Yanno the ‘stop calling me chicken little’ vine? Yeah, that’s me with Asahi lmao. He’s not scary looking and-or a coward, y’all, but that’s such a well beaten drum around these parts, so let’s move on.

For the first time in his life, Asahi is having trouble believing his own self-deprecating thoughts.

Like yes bby, believe in your worth because you are certainly a great person to know/befriend! I know you said it’s not a sudden surge of confidence, but like... Idk, for him to believe in Reader’s words so earnestly he would not only have to put his faith in them, but in what they saw in him. It’s kinda circular, but it takes a certain amount of self-confidence to do even that much, esp. when you (as well as like 97% of everyone around you) is usually so down on you, ya know?

Also Suga is really just the best like... Yeah he’s kind of a troll, but he knows when to pull back. Sometimes ya gotta chop your bestie in the ribs and sometimes you gotta let ‘em do things in his own time, and he knows this. Good Guy Suga--I trust him. ((can you tell I’ve been having a lot of Suga feelings as of late??))

Anyways!

Of course--of fucking course--Noya came in and rolling thundered his ass outta there like... Bruh. Just the image of that little crackhead tumbling into the room screaming his new catchphrase and everyone’s like ??? !!! And Asahi’s all “Wtf is a rolling thunder??” and Noya’s like “Uhh, my new signature move? It’s awesome?? Should I do it again so you can fully appreciate it’s awesomeness???” But Asa’s all “Pls, no, don’t.” and he doesn’t because they got to get to practice lmao. Also thinking it was his little brother is just priceless; Noya would be so outraged if he knew lmfao...

And now the hunt for Asynane As–i begins lol. ((which that totally puts me in mind of that one meme: Daichi: I love all my friends. Like Sugawara Koshi and Shimizu Kiyoko and... *squints at palm* Erm, Asynane Assi?? I’m terrible someone stop me, please.))

But sis, the dedication that Reader has is god-tier. Between my social anxiety and my natural laziness I would’ve stuck to trawling socials, but I gotta say I like this direct action lol. The fact that we just missed each other when he came back to the class that one time is just both their brand of luck, ain’t it? lmao The pining, the aching--I live for that shit!!

But volleyball really is the best lead we got so it’s no surprise that that is where we end up finding him. The I can’t read French bit made me snort so hard I nearly gave myself a headache; 10/10 definitely something my snarky ass would say. He’d also be stuck with me jokingly calling him Asinine for the rest of our lives (which is apparently canon since Reader’s still doing it 7 years later lol).

Once again the hair ties are coming in clutch; they brought us together not once, but twice and then! He!! Proposes with a bedazzled hair tie!!!

Ngl, I legit thought If there’s a blinged out hair tie in there I’m gonna scream and then I had to make good on it, but internally because it’s 3:30 in the am here lol. A hair tie and a fucking pun proposal?? Ma’am you are speaking my gd language; I would one hundo percent say hells yeah to that shit. ((also that pic is everything lol))

I knew it would all work out in the end, but it’s always nice to see such a sweet conclusion. I don’t get attached to Reader characters too often, but I hope the fictional life that these two dorks’ll go on to lead will be as precious and lovely as they are.

Whew, okay, that was wordy af, sorry about it I just had a lot of feelings as usual. I should probably at least try to go to sleep now (spoiler: I probably won’t) so I’ll wrap this up by saying this was a v. cute read, and I enjoyed it lots! Thanks for sharing it, friend!!

Ties - Part 2 (An Asahi x Reader fic)

Please read Part 1 before proceeding

Pairing: Asahi x Gn! Reader (No pronouns. Only "you" is used. Reader has long hair, though.) Genre: Fluffffffff and a tiiiny bit of angst on Asahi's part A/N: Oh my God this is so fucking cute please read it I love this fic so much I cannot stop gushing about it. Yes I am calling my own fic cute but YOU'LL REALIZE WHY PLS. Also I am dying at the picture right below lmfao I love photoshop.

Most of the pottery class participants, including the instructor, have already left. There are just two people left who are finishing their final pots. It can't hurt to ask around.

"Hey, are you guys a regular here?"

One of the girls, who looks like she might be around your age, turns to look at you, "Sort of. I've only been coming on and off for the last three weeks. Why do you ask?"

"Ah, that's perfect. Did you happen to see the guy I was sitting with today? I have something of his I need to return but he left before I could and apparently he won't be taking the pottery sessions anymore."

"Oh, yeah that scary long-haired boy? Yeah, I've seen him around."

You frown a little at the word "scary" but try to ignore it. "Could you tell me his name? Or perhaps, if you have his phone number, that would be great."

"Oh, I'm sorry I don't know his name, I've never really spoken to him."

"Oh. I see. Would you know anything about him?" you ask, turning to the other girl.

"No. I haven't really spoken to him either. Actually, I don't think I have ever really heard him speak much. He usually just quietly sits in a corner and makes pots. Seems like kind of a loner."

"Yeah, now that I think about it, today's the most I have ever seen him talk to someone," the first girl adds.

You can feel your heart sinking a little as you thank the girls and leave the room.

"You seem to keep checking your phone an awful lot, lately. Are you expecting a text from someone?" Suga asks Asahi after seeing him check his phone for what seems like the billionth time since lunch started.

Asahi blushes slightly. "What? No. I was just checking the time."

Suga knows that's a lie and wants to push further but decides against it.

Asahi slips his phone into his bag, determined not to touch it until he is alone.

Of course you have not texted him. I mean, why would you want to be his friend anyway? You probably thought he was pathetic. Or maybe you had actually been scared of him and you had said all those nice things because you were afraid he would attack you or something.

For the first time in his life, Asahi is having trouble believing his own self-deprecating thoughts. It is not because he is suddenly more confident now that he has joined the volleyball team again. No. It is because...you. You had been so open, so straightforward, so genuine in your words that he was having trouble believing that you saw him the same way everyone else did.

But it has been three days, so why haven't you texted him?

What if you never found the note? Unlikely, since Asahi had tucked it in a way that it wouldn't fly away. But what if it did? Or what if he wrote the number wrong? After all, he did write it in a hurry. Should he go back and see how you react? But what if you genuinely do not want to see or talk to him again? He does not want to make you uncomfortable.

Asahi silently curses himself as he chews on his food. If only he had waited that day to talk to you. But everything had just happened so fast.

He had already been debating it but after hearing such kind and encouraging words from you, Asahi had finally made up his mind to join the volleyball team again. He had texted Daichi about his decision, who in turn had informed the whole team that the Ace was coming back.

Ever-excited as always, Noya had immediately rolling-thundered his way to the Community Centre to drag Asahi off to their practice game against the Karasuno Neighbourhood Association that evening. Noya had arrived while you were cleaning up in the washroom and Asahi, panicking, had scribbled a hasty note on a small piece of paper and placed it on your bag while trying to hide it from Noya's curious eye.

If only he had waited just a few more minutes.

Out of the million number combinations you have tried till now, one finally connects. You wait with bated breath, hoping to hear that familiar, deep voice on the other end.

Someone picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I don't have this number saved. Can you tell me who is calling?"

"Hi, my name is L/N and I am trying to find someone. I don't know if I have the correct number and this might seem like a strange question but... have you ever tried pottery?"

"Umm...No? But maybe my brother has, can you tell me the name of the person you are looking for?"

"Uh- I don't know the person's name but your brother wouldn't happen to have long, brown hair that he ties up into a bun, would he?"

"Yeah, no... you definitely have the wrong number."

"Alright, thanks a lot."

You sigh as you put the phone down. It has been 5 days and you're getting impatient now. You use your pen to cross out yet another failed number combination. It was going to be a long day.

"Yeah, this makes no sense to me at all," Isogai says, scratching his head.

"Asynane... are you sure he wasn't calling this entire thing pointless and asinine?"

"No, he wasn't. Give it back to me. Sa- Satsuki! Please don't ruin the paper, it is the only clue I have," you say and try to snatch the paper from your friend's hand.

"Well, it's pretty much useless as a clue," she says, handing it back to you.

It has been a week since you last met "that hair tie boy" at the Community Centre. After hitting many dead-ends, you finally decided to confide in your best friends and take their help.

Isogai: Did you ask your instructor?

You: Yeah, I did and he was useless. At first, he didn't know who I was talking about. When he finally realized, he didn't know the name. And when I asked him if I could look at the names of the people who take the class, he refused by saying it's "classified information". I mean, what is this, the CIA or something?

Isogai: What's so special about this guy, anyway? You guys barely spoke for two hours and it has been a week now. He has probably forgotten you by now.

Your face falls as you realize that Isogai might be right.

Satsuki, glaring at Isogai: You can really be so insensitive at times, you know. Of course he wouldn't have forgotten Y/N. He was clearly interested or he wouldn't have left a note. Although, damn that's some bad handwriting.

Isogai: Hmm, that's true. Why did he leave so abruptly, anyway?

You: I don't know. When I asked around, I found out that, when I was washing up, some kid had barged into the class and practically dragged him out of his seat. I'm guessing he must have been his younger brother or someone.

Isogai: Sigh. Alright, let's get back to it. Are we sure the school name starts with a K? It looks more like an H to me.

Satsuki, groaning: That just widens our school search. What about stores that sell hair ties?

Isogai: That is literally worse, there are like a billion hair tie stores out there as compared to schools.

You: I mean, even if we did manage to narrow down the schools or stores, we couldn't possibly go to all of them and ask around for someone we don't even know the name of, can we? I'm not that desperate to find him.

The shopkeeper is glaring at you through her glasses.

"So...? Would you happen to know someone like that?"

"Are you really asking me if I know a tall guy with brown hair and a goatee that buys generic hair ties?"

"...Yes."

"Look, I don't know if this is some weird new kind of prank that you kids are playing these days but I have a lot of work to do. We get all kinds of people buying hair ties and it is hard to remember one specific person. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to give out that information, anyway."

You nod quietly and exit the 10th store you have been to today. It has been 17 days and you are running out of ideas.

You walk to your dresser. You have worn nothing but that brown hair tie ever since you got it. As you let your hair loose and run your fingers through them, you cannot help but think back to the moment when you got it.

That boy's soft fingertips barely grazing against your cheek and neck as he had gently and carefully gathered your hair, being decent and respectful enough to not touch your skin unnecessarily. How gently he had held your hair in place so that it wouldn't hurt when he twisted the hair tie.

I'm just being pathetic now. He has probably long forgotten me.

You should have forgotten him by now, too. It has been a month, now. He was just a stranger. It is not like you haven't met new people before. So, then, why? Why can't you stop thinking about him? Why can't you stop trying to think of ways of searching for him? You are always so alert these days whenever you go out, always searching, hoping to see that familiar brown-haired bun again, hoping to see that gorgeous smile again.

You sigh and plop yourself onto your bed. You have run out of all options now except for one.

"Please, let him be there. Please, please let him be there," you murmur to yourself as you drift off to sleep.

Asahi had tried to forget you. He really had. He had thrown himself into school and practice, doing anything he could to keep his mind off you. But when he was finally alone at night, alone with nothing but his own thoughts, his mind just wouldn't stop replaying the little moments with you. It wouldn't stop replaying all the kind words you said to him, how beautiful and comforting your smile was, or how soft your hair had felt against his fingers as he was tying them up.

He had gone back to the Community Centre once, hoping to find you again. But you hadn't been there. And his heart had sunk down to his feet as he dejectedly made his way back home.

If only he had been good enough-

No. He cannot afford to think like this. Not tonight. It is an important day tomorrow and he needs to sleep. The Volleyball Interhigh preliminaries start tomorrow and he needs to be well-rested so that he can be at the top of his game.

You had said that you would love to see him play some day. If only you knew how much he had taken those words to heart.

I wish you could see me play, too, he thinks to himself as he slowly dozes off.

Interhigh Preliminaries. Karasuno has finally managed to make a good team and everyone is pumped and ready to face their first opponent: Tokonami High.

Warm-ups will start in about 30 minutes and everyone is currently in the locker room, changing into their jerseys and chatting about the matches ahead.

Asahi twists his hair into a bun, holds it in place with one hand and raises the other hand to secure it with a hair tie. But as he stretches the tie-

SNAP

Asahi feels a sudden and sharp pain as his hair tie snaps and hits his fingers.

"Ow," he lets go of the bun, letting his hair fall freely. Rubbing his throbbing fingers, he moves to get another one from his bag.

"What happened, Asahi? Are you okay?" Suga asks.

"Yeah, it's nothing, my hair tie just broke. I'm just gonna use ano- oh no."

"What's the matter?"

"I brought only my gym bag. All my hair ties are in my school bag."

"You should ask Shimizu. She might have one on her."

"Yeah, do you know where she went?"

"Yeah, she went outside to get some things out of the bus."

"All right."

Asahi finds Kiyoko in the empty parking lot, heading back towards the Gymnasium.

"Shimizu, would you happen to have a hair tie on you? Mine broke and I don't have any extra on me right now."

Kiyoko shakes her head in response. "Sorry, I left my hair open today and didn't think I would need one. You can check in the bus if you want, there's a small bag on the last seat that might have one. I'd help you find it but I gotta take this stuff to Takeda sensei. If you don't find one, I can go and ask around in the girls' locker rooms," she says.

"Don't worry, I'll find it. Do you need help carrying this stuff?"

"No, I'm good. You just go find that hair tie," she says and hands him the bus keys.

"All right, thanks for the help!" he says and walks towards the bus.

"Excuse me, would you like one of these?"

Asahi stops and spins around so fast that he almost cracks his neck. He would recognize that voice anywhere.

There you are. Standing in front of him, smiling and holding out a hair tie in your hand. No. Not a hair tie. His hair tie. The one he had tied around your hair a month ago.

"You..." Asahi says, his voice almost a whisper. He cannot believe you are standing in front of him right now.

You were worried he wouldn't even remember who you were but looking at his expression, and the way he almost dislocated his neck when he heard your voice, you can pretty safely assume that he does remember you.

"Took me a whole month to find you. If you were gonna play this hard to get, a warning would have been nice, at least," you say as you dig your hand into your pocket and bring out a carefully folded piece of paper. You hand it to him.

Asahi's eyes widen as he recognizes his handwriting, "You got the note!"

"I did, but, unfortunately, I don't know how to read French so it was practically illegible to me," you say, a very mischievous smile plastered across your face.

Asahi's face gets redder and redder as he realizes how terribly written the note is.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry, this is totally unreadable."

"Yeah. It is," you giggle and the sound makes his heart flutter.

"How did you find- What did- How-"

"I will tell you everything, I promise, but for now, you have a game to get to."

Asahi stops stammering as he realizes you are right. Warm-ups should be starting any time now. He nods.

You hold out the hair tie towards him, "May I? As a return favour."

If you had put a tomato next to Asahi's face right now, his face would have been redder.

"Y-you don't have to if you're not comfortable. You don't have to return any favours-"

"Okay, let me put it this way. I have not been able to stop thinking about you for the last one month. Which is surprising, since I don't even know your name, yet, Asinine. So, to be clear, I would love to tie your hair for you. Not because I have to but because I want to. But if you are not comfortable with that, that is completely fine, too."

There it is again. That honesty. That no-nonsense, straight facts-spitting, in-your-face, take-it-or-leave-it, straight-from-the-heart, genuine honesty again.

Asahi can't help but smile at that. He nods and turns around.

You raise your hands and run your fingers through his hair lightly as you collect it from around his face. They feel oh so soft against your skin. Your fingers are barely touching his skin, yet you can feel the heat of the blush radiating from his face.

"My name is L/N Y/N, by the way. You can call me Y/N," you say as you twist his hair into a bun carefully, making sure to not pull too hard.

"I am Azumane Asahi. You can call me Asahi," he says, as you twist the hair tie around his bun, securing it in place.

"There you go, Asahi, you can check to see if it is secure," you say, stepping back to see if the bun looks fine.

Asahi turns to face you as he checks the bun, "It's perfect. Thank you, you really are a lifesaver," he says, smiling from ear to ear.

"You looked like you needed it," you say, winking at him, your smile matching his, "Now, go! Your match will be starting soon. I'll be cheering for you from the stands."

"Before I do that, though, I- I wanted to tell you that I haven't really stopped thinking about you either. And once we win today's matches, I promise that this time, I won't rush away like I did. And- And I am really glad you came today."

"I am glad I came, too. Now, you go out there and you break those walls, Ace!"

Seven years. It has been seven years since that fateful day when you found Asahi in the empty parking lot of Sendai City Gymnasium. Seven years with the most wonderful man you have ever known. Seven years and his laugh still makes you feel all warm inside.

You and Asahi are sitting on the private beach of your hotel, the sea waves tickling your feet, your hand intertwined with his, laughing and reminiscing about the first time you both met. The sun is almost setting and the way it lights up Asahi's face, his hair flowing freely in the sea breeze, you can't help but marvel at how beautiful he is as he throws his head back and laughs.

"I still cannot believe you went around asking hair tie shops about a tall guy with brown hair and a goatee."

"I was desperate! Your note was completely, entirely useless, Asinine!"

He chuckles.

"It was worth it, though. Every effort to find you was worth it," you say, smiling and looking into his eyes as you lean forward to kiss him.

As you slowly break apart from your kiss, you can feel Asahi stiffen a bit.

He stands up and stretches out his palm to help you up. You look at him, perplexed, as he suddenly seems extremely nervous. It reminds you of how he used to be in high school.

"I was planning to do this tonight when we went out for our anniversary dinner but this seems like the right time," he says and puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a small box.

He gets down on one knee.

You cover your mouth with your hands and your eyes widen as you realize what is happening.

"Y/N. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. Every single day, I wake up and I feel grateful that I have you. My life is with you and I cannot imagine doing this with anyone else. You are my one and only and I want to spend the rest of our lives trying to make you as happy as you make me."

You are squealing and sobbing loudly as tears of joy fall freely from both your and Asahi's eyes.

He continues. "Y/N. Would you make me the luckiest man on earth and tie the knot with me?" he says, smiling, and opens the box for you to look at.

Your sobs turn into laughter as you look at what's in the box.

It's a hair tie. A diamond-studded hair tie.

"I bought you a ring too, but I wanted to propose with this."

"Yes, yes, yes! Of course I will marry you," you say and throw your hands around Asahi, laughing and sobbing.

"May I?" he says and picks the hair tie from the box.

You turn around and he runs his hands through your hair. He is still as gentle with your hair as he was the first time.

Except, this time around, he lets his fingers glide softly against every bit of your skin that he can find.

FIN.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some facts I couldn't fit into the story but want to clarify in case anyone had questions:

1. Asahi didn't find Y/N at the Community Centre because Y/N was busy looking for him lol. 2. Y/N went to Sendai as a last resort, hoping that Asahi had started playing volleyball again and would be playing in the prelims.

jdjhfgsdhgsdfhdfj I am very feels about this fic I love it so much. Lmao pls 2 ignore the choppy photoshop editing, I wanted to bring some feels.

Tagging @darthdutton @duckymcdoorknob @thepuckishrogue @wonhomarshmallow and @bobsie @luri-isa because I know (or hope) you guys will love it!!!!!

I really popped off with this one I will be screaming about this fic for at least the next 2 days. Thank you for reading.

Reblogs are appreciated. Please do not repost.

MASTERLIST

#ugh this is so long why am i this way??#i keep asking that but i make no attempts to change lmfao #anyways...#fic rec #asa-baby

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