#i have hobbies but they require spoons i just dont have most days/weeks

[cryptidesc]

something so fucked about having to cancel every time i have plans, and having to cancel most of my physical therapy appointments, canceling everything except hospital visits all the fucking time god forbid i have a life besides being alone in my bed in the dark because i spent yet another night awake in pain instead of sleeping and my fatigue makes just everything besides looking at my phone or listening to music in intervals fucking unbearable

[thlpp]

A snake for a first time owner (I'm 20) that wants a cuddly, calm, snake that doesnt require rigorous maintenance (as I'm disabled)? I dont have a huge budget either and would prefer something that doesnt get huge. More like, medium sized?

Corn and rat snakes are often recommended for beginners, but if you don’t want to spend a lot of time cleaning poop, I would suggest not getting a colubrid. Also, I don’t believe in “beginner snakes.” These animals are long-lived, and you should plan on getting a snake you’ll want to keep for its lifetime, usually 20 years minimum.

There’s really nothing about keeping most snakes that requires years of study and practice. For the species common in the hobby, just read up on care, set up the enclosure, monitor it for a week or two and make adjustments until all values are stable and in-range for the species, then insert snake. Keep monitoring temps and humidity and make adjustments as needed. Boom. You’re doing Snake Husbandry™.

So, I will make recommendations based on the criteria you provided, and not on the nebulous “beginner” to “experienced” spectrum. The fact that you want a fairly low-maintenance snake rules out any of the species that are difficult to keep in captivity anyway.

Once set up, a python or a boa requires far less maintenance than a colubrid, in my opinion (excluding giants – those are quite a bit more work). Many species also tend to be docile and easy to handle.

For a hardy, easily-set-up species that don’t get huge, look into rosy boas or Kenyan sand boas. They’re adorable, and placid, and stay on the smallish side. Males reach up to about 2ft in length, while females can get up to 3. These snakes actually happen to be in the “beginner” category of care requirements also. I don’t keep any myself, so no personal experience.

Ball pythons are darlings, usually, and don’t require a lot of fussing either. Mine get fed every 2-3 weeks with one f/t rдt, and if I’m fresh out of spoons, they don’t mind waiting a day or three for their meal. In my experience, they poop once for every 2-3 meals. Pee more often, but that’s much less of a mess to clean up. All of mine will settle down in my hoodie pocket or under my jacket while I work, and go right to sleep. If you decide to get one, look for an adult, as they would be calmer than neonates, and established feeders, so you don’t have to worry about that.

Honestly, I’m coming up blank on any more recommendations here, since you’re looking for a placid, low-maintenance snake that won’t get very large. If my followers have suggestions, please add to my list.

[retro-hime]

The Ask Arcana Questionnaire

an awesome ass thank you to @fireflytrio for making this~!!

I have two apprentices so I’m filling this out for both of them. Essa and Valstyne. Essa’s will always be in bold and Valstyne’s will be italicized 

Part 1.) Characterization. Use these questions as a way to flesh out some of your character’s personality, background, likes/dislikes, etc.

Their surname?

Decesare

Castle

Halloween costume?

Devil/Satan but in like that scary attractive way. Could still kill you, but looks hot while doing it

Fairy

Familiar/animal friend?

Owl (or albino miniature dragon if lore allows)

Fruit Bat

Big spoon or little spoon?

Physically little spoon, emotionally big spoon

Both

Religious?

Not really, no

A little bit

Favorite fruit?

Blackberries and raspberries

Pomegranates

Idea of a nice date?

A rooftop picnic watching the sunset

She’s not too picky. Honestly any date is a nice date when you’re with the right person. But if she had to pick, it would be walking the beach barefoot and talking

Favorite season?

Winter

Spring and Winter and Fall and Summer... She can’t choose they’re all really nice

When is their Birthday?

April 12th (Aries)

January 23rd (Aquarius)

Favorite carnival ride?

Rollercoasters and drop towers. Anything that is scary as shit, like the zero gravity spinning thing

The spinning swings and hang gliders

Favorite emoji?

Devil emoji (Im on my laptop so I cant put them)

Any heart emoji and the eggplant and peach emoji 

Like to do in their free time?

Helping around town, eating, herbology/herbs, picking herbs, Underground fighting, sitting on the roof tops and throwing harmless stuff at passerbys

Astronomy/Constellations, astrology, people watching and then coming up with elaborate stories about them, helping the baker, walking/hiking through the forest

What sports would they play?

Kick-boxing or MMA

Track and field

What kind of car would they drive?

A big ass truck, preferrably Ford

SUV, those ones with three rowed seats. Or one of those rv’s or buses that were made into a cool mobile home.. So a mobile tiny home

How do they treat their significant other when they’re feeling unusually affectionate?

Lots of hugging and hand holding. She’ll go out of her way to get the person food (excessive amounts)

She would do a lot of amsall stuff, she’s already insanely affectionate, getting them their favorite flowers and giving them more kisses in random places than usual. Cooking/baking their favorite thing. Elaborate ass compliments

Favorite manga?

One Punch Man and Boku No Hero Academia

Ouran Highschool Host Club, Reimei No Arcana, and Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama... and Say I Love You

Main store to shop for clothes (if they lived in our world)?

Forever 21 or Hot Topic

Earthbound or any hipster thrift store and Platos Closet

What were they like growing up?

Very rough. She got into a lot of fights growing up. She was very protective of her mother and got into a lot of fights when the local kids and their parents would try to talk shit about her mother being a ‘witch’. Kinda like “call her a witch all you want Karn but you were just in the store yesterday getting a salve for that itch where the sun dont shine” 

She was a very sweet and quiet kid growing up and would make money helping everyone out around town. Her father was a surgeon and she would sometimes be required to help him out during his surgeries. So she doesn’t mind gore too much and started to really have a fascination with skulls. She has her mother and her fathers skulls in a glass case on a shelf in the shop.

What kind of drunk are they at a party?

Will kiss the person they secretly have a crush on, get more honest than usual, and will start fights. “i’ll kick your ass! i’ll kick my own ass!”

Dances on tables, becomes less reserved, the wholesome friend drunk where she’ll tell you how much she loves you. (Yuuri from Yuri On Ice when he got drunk. nuff said)

Reaction to someone telling a dirty joke?

"Oh shit that was good! Wanna hear a better one?!”

She would blush and snort/laugh at the same time. 

Reaction to stubbing their toe?

Creative ass curse words and then blaming the thing she stubbed her toe on.

“I curse you and your childrens children!” she screams at the table

Favorite color?

Dark colors, black red, black green, etc. 

Pastels~

Favorite See’s chocolate?

Dark chocolate

Chocolate and peanut butter

Favorite poptart flavor?

Gingerbread

Smores

Favorite hobby?

fighting for money

Singing and baking

How they sing at karaoke parties?

Refuses to sing, is only there for the alcohol

Sings loudly and seriously is drunk. She sings too well when shes not drunk but picks songs that people will hate. (Like Barbie Girl or any song by Aqua)

Preferred social media platform?

Reddit and Twitter

Tumblr

Opinion on puns?

Pun’s are the devils work, but god damn theyre funny. So shitty but so great. 

Has dad jokes/puns of her own

How do they typically deal with their problems?

Ignore that shit as much as possible until it is eminent

Push it down if it’s emotional problems. Other problems she tries to tackle head on because she doesn’t like putting off the inevitable

Spice girl nickname?

Death Spice

Honey Spice

Personal hygiene routine?

She showers every night because she always comes home dirty and her mom was big about being clean at night. She washes her hair every night as well

She showers twice a day and likes to make sure she always smells good. She washes her hair every other day and has a whole routine for it so that is stays moisturized and healthy.

Favorite alcoholic drink?

Fireball Whiskey

Rumchata

Favorite genre of music?

Any form of rock or rap/hip hop/r&b

Jazz or video game type music

Modern AU job/career?

MMA fighter

Vet

Favorite musical?

Hamilton and Sweeney Todd

Les miserables

How would they celebrate their significant other’s birthday?

Would spend a week planning and overthinking it. She would attempt to cook (which she can NOT do) and she would try to be romantic and would clean herself up and look really nice. It would be a personal dinner and a day spent doing whatever their SO wanted to do. 

She would wake them up with breakfast in bed and kisses. Then they would spend the day visiting their favorite places no matter the price and it would end with an elaborate picnic on the beach. 

Would they rather turn into a tiny rhinoceros or a giant hamster?

Giant Hamster

tiny rhinoceros

What would they do for their significant other for Valentine’s Day?

She would go to every a week in advance and would order a dish from each one to be delivered to the shop. She would send her SO out on errands all day so she could prepare it and would reward them with a surprise extravagant dinner.

Would wait until the day after when everything is on sale and shower her SO in the sweets that she binge bought. End the day in some intricate lingerie

Pros and cons to having them as a roommate?

Pros: Brings in money, can kick someones ass for you, knows how to take care of you when you’re sick, is good at cleaning.

Cons: Bullheaded, stubborn, is messy, sometimes won’t come home for days, cant. cook

Pros: Can cook, is homely, nicely decorates the house, house always smells good, makes sure everything is where it should be, likes to help

Cons: Skulls and bones (it usually makes people uncomfortable), superstitious 

On a scale from 1-10 how Extra are they?

8

5

Favorite meme?

Damn daniel and legally blind

Kermit self to self meme

Favorite three pokemon?

Gabite, Misdreavus, Haunter

Milotic, Sylveon, Staraptor

How tall are they?

5′4″

4′11″ and 3/4

Part 2.) Scaling. Using your best judgement, where does your fan apprentice fall on these scales?

[Example: Shortest to tallest?

Portia, Asra, [MC name here], Nadia, Lucio, Julian, Muriel]

Most to least superstitious?

Portia, Julian, Essa, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Valstyne, Muriel

Most to least excited to be at a WWE event?

Essa, Portia, Lucio, Valstyne, Asra, Julian, Nadia, Muriel

Worst to best at handling children?

Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Asra, Essa, Portia, Julian, Valstyne

Worst to best alcohol tolerance?

Muriel, Asra, Lucio, Valstyne, Julian, Portia, Essa, Nadia,

Best to worst at keeping secrets?

Asra, Valstyne, Muriel, Nadia, Lucio, Essa, Portia, Julian

Best to worst dancers?

Valstyne, Asra, Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Essa

Most to least likely to slap you for stealing a mcnugget?

Essa, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Portia, Julian, Muriel, Valstyne

Least to most likely to eat something weird on a dare?

Nadia, Julian, Valstyne, Muriel, Lucio, Portia, Asra, Essa

Least to most old?

Asra, Valstyne, Portia, Muriel, Essa, Julian, Lucio, Nadia

Part 3.) Extra characterization tidbits (whether you want to make a description or insert a photo for these is up to you!)

MC as a:

•MCR song

Mama

Sing

•vine

Kiss my ass (Summerella)

Any of the Thomas Sanders Vines of him narrating peoples lives

•a piece of furniture

Shelf (that way no one can fuck with her)

China Cabinet

•character from the Labyrinth

Hoggle

Jareth

•character in a cliche Noir film

Bad Cop who slaps the suspect around and uses unconventional ways to get answers. Has ties with the underground/black market in the city so they can get reliable information

 Knight in Sour armor, believes the world is good but keeps being let down. And Sympathy for the Devil, realizes the bad guy is no so bad after all 

•Tarot card

The Tower

Wheel of Fortune

•Micheal Jackson song

They Don’t Care About Us

Remember The Time

•character in the play “Cats”

I have no idea honestly

•Panic! at the disco song

Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

House of Memories

•cliche high school student stereotype

The delinquent that is actually really talented/smart

The eccentric weird girl that is friends with everyone of every friend group

•furby

•flight rising dragon breed

Mirror Dragon

Skydancer and Spiral Dragon

•deadly sin

Wrath

Envy

•DnD class

Barbarian

Warlock

•character from Mean Girls

Janis

Ms. Norbury

•hogwarts house

Slytherin

Hufflepuff

•cryptid

Jersey Devil

Shadow People

•monster factory character

Way too complicated for me to get into