#i have films i love and books ive reread multiple times and stuff like that
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#i just had a full on Moment in the kitchen where i realised that like. i have no fuckin clue what ive actually ever Liked in my life??#like. i feel so out of place absolutely everywhere i go its so weird#i was in town w a friend today and they were talking abt their childhood Interests and i was like. huh. bc i realised i never?? Did That???#i never really played the video games or watched the shows everyone thinks of w such nostalgia#and even the few things i did experience i dont really Know much abt#like i played a fair few legend of zelda games but hell if i know anything abt the lore or could pick out my favourite game#and yeah i feel Warm and Happy when i see content but like. i dont Know Enough to really get involved#and i know you dont NEED to be a Super Turbo Fan to interact w art and posts and stuff but like#it sure does enhance the experience when u actually know whats going on u feel#ive never really seen any of the films im Supposed to have seen by now (which makes film seminars an Adventure lmfao)#most of the book series i enjoy ive only really read a few things from (looking @ you discworld)#and idk. i just??? dont understand why ive never interacted much with any of these things??? what was i doing???????#what have i been doing for 20 years instead of consuming the media everyone else has been#like i know its not Wrong that i havent but i just wish i had?? i feel so out of place all the time its like ive never lived on this planet#i know you dont HAVE to be into popular things but damn the way people talk about them i wish i was#i wish i had something comforting like that to feel safe in u feel#like when u rewatch a favourite childhood show for the 15th time bc adulthood is so hard and u wanna turn to ur comforts from 6 years old#when u replay a game u put so much time into as a child and are just flooded with nostalgia and happy feelings#im not saying ive never ever ever watched a film or played a game or read a book or whatever#i have films i love and books ive reread multiple times and stuff like that#but theres so few i can name off the top of my head and fewer i can relate to other ppl about#any interests i have had are so obscure im sometimes lucky if anyones even heard of them#and idk. i guess i just wish i had More u know??#more to relate to other ppl about. i feel like an impostor in human culture sometimes is2g#everyones sitting around talking abt their fond childhood memories and i can never join in bc i just. didnt Do any of that#i didnt watch that i didnt play that i didnt read that#what DID i do?? i have no idea#idk this got a lot more depressing than i intended lmao i swear this isnt meant to be a vent post#i did my laundry today im not having a mental breakdown i swear#just posting some Thoughts
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