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#i have faith that you are going to do so well though
a-b-riddle · 1 day
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In the mood to write angst. Imagine you’re the conscientious observer who accidentally sees how your team talks about you behind your back.
Your morals were… complicated. You didn’t believe in killing anyone. Your faith told you that killing someone is wrong and even if it’s to save your life, handling a gun is something that doesn’t sit well with you. You’ve been to gun ranges. Mandatory for your position in the military that you have basic fire arm knowledge. But having something in your hands that could so easily take a life made you uneasy.
You were pescatarian, but tried to limit meat. Cried anytime you saw chickens in those trucks heading toward their demise. You fed stray cats around your house back home. You tried to be kind and cherished life in all most of its forms. The exception being garlic butter shrimp that was too good to give up and anytime of bug resembling a cock roach. And yes, palmetto bugs were still cock roaches.
And wasps.
Fuck wasps.
At the same time, you were pro-choice. Initially, you were pro-choice for other women, but you didn’t think you would have the strength to get an abortion. It wasn’t until you were holding your friend’s hand as she got her D&C that your views on your own body autonomy changed. It didn’t have to be medical to be necessary.
But you still refused to hold a weapon. Which is why even though you were a very talented medic, you were always judged for not carrying any sort of defense while in the field.
But no one on base would dare say anything to you about it. At least not to your face…
You got stuck instructing a training seminar when your phone continued to buzz in your back pocket. But even with the consistent messages, you didn’t falter by showing the newest members how to give basic first aid until health could arrive.
Nearly two hours later, you finally fish your phone out to see what’s going on.
Dozens of text messages in a group chat between you, Captain Price, Johnny, Kyle and Simon. You had gotten close to them over the last few months. You were halfway through your contract and were already dreading leaving knowing they were staying behind until the job is done.
You open it, your phone taking you to the first unread message.
Cpt.: Hows the arm healing up?
Soap: Fine. Hen did a good job of keeping the sutures nice and even. Should barely scar.
Gaz: Wouldn’t have a scar if she just fucking carried.
Soap: You think she honestly would even know what to do with a gun if you gave her one Garrick 😂
Ghost: Still think she’s a liability. Someone who won’t raise arms against an enemy isn’t meant to be on the team.
Cpt: Already tried. Laswell says we need the numbers. As long as she does her job there’s nothing I can do. We can’t be down a medic and it’s either her or nothing.
You shook as you continued reading the conversation.
Liability. Coward. It went on and on about how weak you were. Why couldn’t you just carry a small pistol instead of expecting everyone else to keep you safe.
It then switched to your personality. No one should be that happy. Annoying. A yapper. Couldn’t get a word in most of the time.
On and on they went until you realized they spoke so freely because they didn’t realize you were in this group chat. What did they say when you weren’t around?
You felt like a fool having extending more than just trying to be a civil coworker, but a friend. Taking on tasks that weren’t your responsibility simply to help them.
Getting a floral arrangement delivered for Johnny’s sister after she had given birth. Talking on the phone to the nursing home where Price’s mother resided trying to sort out her insurance. Taking priority Kyle when he was injured after falling out of a plane (both times) over your other patients. And always having the electric kettled going in the morning so Simon could have his tea without waiting too long.
You were helpful. Just because you had one boundary didn’t mean their words held any merit. But still you couldn’t help the deep feeling of just… betrayal? Rejection? You weren’t sure there was a word fitting enough to sum up how utterly stupid you felt.
Maybe they were right. This wasn’t a civilian setting. This wasn’t just life and death for your patients, but for you. You were out in the field with no form of protection except from others.
You weren’t abandoning your morals. You couldn’t. Not when every fiber of your being told you to remain steadfast. There was only one solution.
You didn’t have much to pack. Uniform was issued to you. Your stethoscope and some other tools came out of your own pocket. Your laptop, phone, charges. You packed all your lounging clothes and miraculously everything fit into a military duffle. Which wasn’t actually anything impressive given how big those things are.
You were confident in your decision even if it made you feel like a failure.
As you stood outside the office door you returned back to the group chat. One by one you proceeded to block all of them. You knew when you left the group they would know that the notification would pop up and they either wouldn’t give a shit that you finally knew what the actually thought of you or they tried messaging you to make amends to cover their asses. You weren’t sure which was worse.
Once you had blocked the last one, you left and knocked on the door that you had been idling in front of. A faint ‘come in’ was granted before you walked through.
“Hey, Kate.” You greeted. “Can we talk?”
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sassenach77yle · 2 days
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||COUNTDOWN ||SEASON 2 EPISODE 07 || FAITH ||
#83daysofoutlander☆
“Wait, Claire!” I half-turned; he was almost upon me. The soft gray numbness around me quivered, and I felt a sort of frozen panic at the thought that the sight of him might rip it away from me. If it did, I would die, I thought, like a grub dug up from the soil and tossed onto a rock to shrivel, naked and defenseless in the sun. “No!” I said. “I don’t want to talk to you. Go away.” He hesitated for a moment, and I turned away from him and began to walk rapidly down the path toward the arbor. I heard his steps on the gravel of the path behind me, but kept my back turned, and walked faster, almost running. As I paused to duck under the arbor, he made a sudden lunge forward and grasped my wrist. I tried to pull away from him, but he held on tight. “Claire!” he said again. I struggled, but kept my face turned away; if I didn’t look at him, I could pretend he wasn’t there. I could stay safe. He let go of my wrist, but grabbed me by both shoulders instead, so that I had to lift my head to keep my balance. His face was sunburned and thin, with harsh lines cut beside his mouth, and his eyes above were dark with pain. “Claire,” he said more softly, now that he could see me looking at him. “Claire—it was my child, too.” “Yes, it was—and you killed it!” I ripped away from him, flinging myself through the narrow arch. I stopped inside, panting like a terrified dog. I hadn’t realized that the arch led into a tiny vine-covered folly. Latticed walls surrounded me on all sides—I was trapped. The light behind me failed as his body blocked the arch. “Don’t touch me.” I backed away, staring at the ground. Go away! I thought frantically. Please, for God’s sake, leave me in peace! I could feel my gray wrappings being inexorably stripped away, and small, bright streaks of pain shot through me like lightning bolts piercing cloud. He stopped, a few feet away. I stumbled blindly toward the latticed wall and half-sat, half-fell onto a wooden bench. I closed my eyes and sat shivering. While it was no longer raining, there was a cold, damp wind coming through the lattice to chill my neck.
He didn’t come closer. I could feel him, standing there, looking down at me. I could hear the raggedness of his breathing. “Claire,” he said once more, with something like despair in his voice, “Claire, do ye not see … Claire, you must speak to me! For God’s sake, Claire, I don’t know even was it a girl or a boy!” I sat frozen, hands gripping the rough wood of the bench. After a moment, there was a heavy, crunching noise on the ground in front of me. I cracked my eyes open, and saw that he had sat down, just as he was, on the wet gravel at my feet. He sat with bowed head, and the rain had left spangles in his damp-darkened hair. “Will ye make me beg?” he said.
“It was a girl,” I said after a moment. My voice sounded funny; hoarse and husky. “Mother Hildegarde baptized her. Faith. Faith Fraser. Mother Hildegarde has a very odd sense of humor.”
The bowed head didn’t move. After a moment, he said quietly, “Did you see the child?” My eyes were open all the way now. I stared at my knees, where blown drops of water from the vines behind me were making wet spots on the silk. “Yes. The mâitresse sage-femme said I ought, so they made me.” I could hear in memory the low, matter-of-fact tones of Madame Bonheur, most senior and respected of the midwives who gave of their time at L’Hôpital des Anges. “Give her the child; it’s always better if they see. Then they don’t imagine things.” So I didn’t imagine. I remembered. “She was perfect,” I said softly, as though to myself. “So small. I could cup her head in the palm of my hand. Her ears stuck out just a little—I could see the light shine through them. The light had shone through her skin as well, glowing in the roundness of cheek and buttock with the light that pearls have; still and cool, with the strange touch of the water world still on them. “Mother Hildegarde wrapped her in a length of white satin,” I said, looking down at my fists, clenched in my lap. “Her eyes were closed. She hadn’t any lashes yet, but her eyes were slanted. I said they were like yours, but they said all babies’ eyes are like that.” Ten fingers, and ten toes. No nails, but the gleam of tiny joints, kneecaps and fingerbones like opals, like the jeweled bones of the earth itself. Remember man, that thou art dust.… I remembered the far-off clatter of the Hôpital, where life still went on, and the subdued murmur of Mother Hildegarde and Madame Bonheur, closer by, talking of the priest who would say a special Mass at Mother Hildegarde’s request. I remembered the look of calm appraisal in Madame Bonheur’s eyes as she turned to look me over, seeing my weakness. Perhaps she saw also the telltale brightness of theapproaching fever; she had turned again to Mother Hildegarde and her voice had dropped further—perhaps suggesting that they wait; two funerals might be needed. And unto dust thou shalt return. But I had come back from the dead. Only Jamie’s hold on my body had been strong enough to pull me back from that final barrier, and Master Raymond had known it. I knew that only Jamie himself could pull me back the rest of the way, into the land of the living. That was why I had run from him, done all I could to keep him away, to make sure he would never come near me again. I had no wish to come back, no desire to feel again. I didn’t want to know love, only to have it ripped away once more. But it was too late. I knew that, even as I fought to hold the gray shroud around me. Fighting only hastened its dissolution; it was like grasping shreds of cloud, that vanished in cold mist between my fingers. I could feel the light coming, blinding and searing. He had risen, was standing over me. His shadow fell across my knees; surely that meant the cloud had broken; a shadow doesn’t fall without light.
“He had risen, was standing over me. His shadow fell across my knees; surely that meant the cloud had broken; a shadow doesn’t fall without light.
“Claire,” he whispered. “Please. Let me give ye comfort.” 
“Comfort?” I said. “And how will you do that? Can you give me back my child? ”
He sank to his knees before me, but I kept my head down, staring into my upturned hands, laid empty on my lap. I felt his movement as he reached to touch me, hesitated, drew back, reached again.“No,” he said, his voice scarcely audible.
“No, I canna do that. But…with the grace of God…I might give ye another?”
His hand hovered over mine, close enough that I felt the warmth of his skin. I felt other things as well: the grief that he held tight under rein, the anger and the fear that choked him, and the courage that made him speak in spite of it. I gathered my own courage around me, a flimsy substitute for the thick gray shroud. Then I took his hand and lifted my head, and looked full into the face of the sun.
Cap 28 - The Coming of Light  ~ ‘Dragonfly In Amber’
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themachine · 3 days
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Is girlbriel the sort to be too religiously ashamed to hold hands in public with mirage or how does girlbriels theology factor in their relationship in general Is she in good terms with her beliefs as well as with her robo queerness You can draw something in response also ifthat's something you feel upt to doing. Griin
I think at the beginning of their relationship it causes a lot more heartache. But nmostly just for Girlbriel. She has spent her entire life in a very religiously dogmatic environment up to this point. (this point being whenever she first meets & befriends & eventually begirlfriends Mirage).
She's already quite apprehensive about the topic of romance & intimacy in general, so crushing a robot who is also a Girl devolves into a maelstrom of mostly negative emotions+behaviors very quickly. the religious shame is indeed Very Real. but as she grows & learns she will become more comfortable with this aspect of her life.
I think in a series of events somewhat mirroring the real game's 6-2 & subsequent Act 2 Epilogue, Girlbriel, much like Gabriel, ends up having an existential crisis about her role in the world & the significance of God & religion in her life. though Unlike the real game, no killings or anything like that would occur. Girlbriel isnt allowed to kill.... I think she would probably just have an argument& run away. Live out of her car for a while. Or go to Mirage's.
I don't think she would ever outright stop believing in the existence of God but it would definitely give her some food for thought with regards to what she was taught throughout her youth. Eventually she would grow to have a much more balanced relationship with her faith.
I dont know I would condense these thoughts into an image so here are two wholly unrelated nothingburger sketches:
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rekino2114 · 19 hours
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Mutli request: Charlie (Undertale), Sophie (Walten Files), and Marin (Dress Up Darling) with an S/O that starts to go through a self doubt cycle, feeling that he's not good enough for his girlfriend.
Chara,sophie, and marin with an s/o who thinks he's not good enough for them
Chara dreemurr
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Chara kinda feels the same, to be honest. She's practically a demon who slaughtered thousands of monsters in different timelines it's a miracle that she still has a soul, and you're a really nice guy. she still wonders why you're with her sometimes
She'll take a while to notice what's wrong with you, but when she does, she immediately asks you who made you sad, and where can she find them. After you explained how you felt she was flabbergasted, you were crazy if you thought you weren't good enough for her. If anything, you were too good and she told you exactly that.
She tried to be more affectionate to you after the conversation (even if she still blushes a lot) she'll also remind you of how much she loves you and how you changed who she was completely, you both helped each other with your self doubt issues.
"Hey, y/n listen to me, how the heck did you start thinking that? Did somebody tell you cause if they did, I swear I'll......no? Alright, just don't think stuff like that anymore. You practically restored my faith in humanity. If anything, I don't deserve you"
Sophie walten
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Sophie also feels like she doesn't really deserve you, but it's more because of what she puts you through, she vents to you about her trauma a lot,not to mention all the times you have to wake up to comfort her about a nightmare she had, she thinks she's pushing too much on you and that you're the best person she ever met since you didn't leave her because of that.
She noticed how you felt pretty fast, probably because it's the same way she feels. She was the one to comfort you this time around, hugging you and telling you how much you truly mean to her and how you helped her cope with everything.
She smiles more around you after, trying to physically show you how much you had a positive impact on her life. She also tries to rant less around you as she thinks it might annoy you. She'll always comfort you whenever you're down though, just like you do with her.
"Babe please don't say stuff like that, you're a great guy, and genuinely the best thing that ever happened to me, I.....don't know where I'd be If it wasn't for you, I love you so much please never forget that"
Marin kitagawa
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Marin showers you in affection and compliments every 5 minutes, always calling you the best boyfriend ever and the light of her life, she makes you feel so cherished, but you still thought you didn't deserve that. She was so beautiful and nice and you were just an average guy, you thought you didn't deserve her.
She noticed almost immediately what changed in you. It was because you reacted to her daily hugs and kisses with less warmth than usual, so she decided to ask you what's wrong and not leave you alone until you told her the truth, your well-being is the most important thing in the world to her.
She was quite literally speechless when you told her the truth. How did you ever think about something like that? In her eyes, you're literally the most perfect person in existence, and you think you're not good enough for her? She can't have that. She will be twice as affectionate and loving to you after that (which is saying a lot) you'll never go an hour without hearing how awesome you are and how you always make her feel on cloud nine while she hugs you soooo tightly.
"W-wait, are you serious? Baby, pleeaaaaase don't say that. You're like the best. Have I not told you that enough? Cause I'll yell it at you until I lose my voice if that's what it takes. Literally every day I ask myself how I ended up with an angel come to heart, I love you so so so much and you are waaaaaaaay more than enough"
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bluebirdinhissky · 16 hours
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A best friend’s duty is to help you when you’re having a nightmare. Hyunjin x fem Y/N. My usual disclaimer, english is not my first language, sorry for the errors!.
Hyunjin woke up when he felt a smack on his arm and then an elbow blow to his stomach. Such a rough way to be waken up but he didn’t open his eyes; she had the habit to move a lot in her sleep and change positions quite often and it would not be the first time his best friend punched him by accident while moving in her sleep. He was still so tired from his trip to Milan, that he didn’t have the strength and will to go back to his room last night when they were pretending to watch a movie together but in reality he was telling her all about the after party. He thought about how much fun it was but he couldn’t deny, he would’ve loved her to be there too. He tried not to think too much about it though, he was very well aware of his feeling for her but he was trying to ignore them because he didn’t want to start acting awkward and ruin things. He then thought about how Changbin’s first question when he arrived to their home was “did you bang any model?” with a grin on his face. Hyunjin snorted at the thought. He could have, but no, he prided himself on being faithful to her even if he hadn’t confessed yet and even if she might not want him the same way. His heart belonged to her, and his heart would not let his body be with someone else.
His thoughts were interrupted by a moan, which made him open his eyes but he was too shy to look at her. It was not the first time they’d slept in the same bed, it was something that would happen often because they were used to have late night conversations or art sessions until they were too tired to go back to their own bedrooms. He knew she didn’t talk in her sleep and she had never made a noise before. He remained still and barely breathing. Maybe he heard wrong.
Another moan. He couldn’t believe he was actually listening to the sounds he had only imagined and daydreamed about. He licked his lips and bite at them. The bed mattress moved next to him and he knew she was moving restless. Was she awake and touching herself, or was he dreaming?. He blinked repeatedly while the mattress was still moving and she was now whimpering. For a few seconds, Hyunjin was lost in the sounds she was making until he felt and saw her arm moving and accidentally smacked his own arm again. He looked at her. She had her eyes closed, sleeping, obviously having a nightmare. He felt guilty for not looking before and instead enjoying the noises.
“Hey” he said and shook her shoulder while hugging her, “hey, wake up, it’s okay”. He shook her again and felt her body trembling underneath him. Her hands reached to his shirt and tugged it hard, she was breathing fast.
“Hyunjin” she whispered slowly and very quietly, her hands released his shirt and desperately looked for his hands.
“Shhh, it’s okay, you’re awake now and you’re with me, nothing will harm you”, one hand remained on hers while the other caressed her hair.
She closed her eyes, moved his hand and placed it on her chest, right where her heartbeat was. Hyunjin could lightly feel the beating as he was trying to concentrate not to get hard at the wrong moment, but having his hand so near her boobs made him nervous. He really tried to focus on making her feel better.
“Let’s do a breathing exercise, okay?”
She nodded.
“Breathe in…” they breathed together, “hold it, and breathe out”. He paused for a moment and repeated the same words. He felt her hold in his hand over her chest soften. After repeating the exercise for a while she was breathing normally.
“Thank you”, she told him quietly while burying her face in the crook of his neck. His arms embraced her.
“You’re welcome. Any time. I’m here” he whispered to her, “what were you dreaming about?”. The moment the question left his lips he felt guilty for bringing the topic to conversation, but he wanted to know everything about her.
“I don’t know…” a sigh escaped her lips, “I think… I was drowning”.
Oh right, he remembered she had thalassophobia. His guilty feelings came again when he also remembered the joke he had said last night about how her bean bag in the dark looked like a big shark opening its mouth ready to devour her, but surely a shark joke would not give her nightmares, right?.
“Well, you’re safe now. I will not let you anywhere near the sea”, he said jokingly and she giggled. He looked at her intensely for some seconds until she covered his eyes with her hand. It’s a habit she would have whenever he looked intensely at her for several seconds, and that would make him laugh, knowing he made her nervous when he was acting cute on purpose.
“Stop”, she laughed and removed her hand from his eyes. Hyunjin’s eyes were still fixed on her. He smiled and she closed her eyes.
“Stop what?”, he said, moving his face closer to hers.
“Stop acting cute. You always do that”
“I can’t help it. I AM cute”, he said in an overly confident tone and then laughed at himself. His confidence made his face move even closer to hers.
“You’re cute to everyone”, she said softly while moving her face slightly back.
“You think so?” He moved his face back too, cocky smile gone. He bit his lips. Something in her tone made him feel like she meant he was a flirt, and he didn’t want her to think that because it was not true, he was hers. “That’s not true”, he tried to defend himself.
“You’re cute to the Kids and to Stays”
“Well… they’re family. Of course I am cute to them” he smiled again.
“So I’m family too?”
He wanted to roll his eyes, because yes, she was close to him that way but no, he wanted her differently. He wanted her the way he’d never want anyone else before. But he couldn’t tell her. Not yet.
“Humm no?… like, you are my best friend”, he gave her the best smile, knowing that he might’ve screwed things by labeling her officially as best friends.
“Best friends then” she smiled and returned her face to be hidden in the crook of his neck.
Hyunjin hated not having the courage to confess yet, but hopefully, he would do that soon.
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tater-tot-jr · 3 days
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Yapping time! Spoilers for DRDT C2E14
So the entire episode was great, but there’s one part I’d like to talk about most. David’s monologue towards the end. Specifically the second half, where he gets away from his logical stuff and into the more interpersonal stuff. I’ll break it down line by line.
“All I want is for Teruko to distrust others.”
Okay we are starting off interesting. Now, due to David’s nature we can’t trust him to be honest. We cannot take this as explicit confirmation of any sort of goal. With that said, his goal appears to be fucking up the class trial in some manner. We don’t know his motive, but that goal seems consistent enough to work with. So let’s work with it. Teruko is literally one half of this classes helpful trial participants. Her and Charles are the entire brain of this class. Charles can be killed, he has a glaring flaw in a debilitating fear of blood, he’s easy enough to deal with when the time comes. Teruko is stupidly resilient. To everything. The one thing she obviously struggles with is her trust issues/paranoia. If you’re looking to get under her skin that’s where you gotta go. Saying this is a clear demonstration he intends to poke at Teruko emotionally, which is an interesting thing to admit out loud. If I had to guess, it’s because he’s trying to kill two birds with one stone and make the class start to distrust Teruko as well.
“That’s why I’m doing this, telling such obvious lies.”
This is him saying he’s lying about seeing the body, I think. He’s doubling down on inciting paranoia, in both Teruko and the class. It’s interesting he would say this out loud. He’s hyper focused on fucking with Teruko and it shows. If you take out the brain, the body goes as well. It’s certainly a strategy of all time.
“There is no other proof of Eden’s innocence.”
As far as we know, this is a true statement right now. Unless I’m unaware of something that was the biggest piece of evidence meant to clear her name, and he brought it into question.
“As long as there’s a possibility that the evidence is false, as long as there’s even the slightest reason to distrust others, then Teruko cannot trust Eden.”
Oof, he’s got her dead to rights. I don’t think there’s a good faith argument for him being wrong. It’s cool to see how much he understands the cast. It’s an interesting way to show how Teruko’s thoughts process works without betraying her guarded nature. Having a character so ready to pick at her weakness is a good writing choice, and I hope they keep David around for a time. Teruko is the least trusting character I’ve ever seen in any fangan game, granted I haven’t played them all but still. There’s a chance the story doesn’t have any sort of lesson, and we’re just gonna watch Teruko suffer. The idea that she can’t bring herself to trust if there’s even a 0.001% chance of something being false is such a good character flaw. She’s clearly terrified of risk, and she doesn’t know how to get rid of her paranoia, even though I think she wants to.
“Isn’t that right, Teruko?”
Ohohoho you smug piece of shit. You fucking dick. This is more proof he’s not just saying these things in an objective way. He’s just trying to hurt her, as far as we can assume.
“…”
Yeah she’s fucking rocked. Teruko really doesn’t take things lying down. Befitting of her backstory, she’s the type to struggle and fight back against anything she can. But here she has nothing to say. David has read her for filth and they both know it. Now that I think about it, this probably also plays on her fear of being vulnerable. What could possibly be more vulnerable than someone telling you your own exact thought process?
“It’s in your nature to distrust people.”
This is a more interesting statement than it appears at first glance. Specifically because he says it’s in her nature. To him, this isn’t a choice she’s making because of the killing game. It’s not circumstance that has pushed her into this. No, this is who she is, and this is who she’ll always be. Which is a horribly insulting thing to say, because it’s within most humans nature to trust each other somewhat, and it’s life circumstances that push them away from collaboration. He’s saying that Teruko is so fucked in the head that she’s fundamentally different from the standard human baseline.
“Everyone you know has already betrayed you. There’s no one in this world who won’t hurt you. Even the people you love will turn their backs on you in the end. You know that well enough, don’t you?”
…Jesus Christ. He really is just the devil on her shoulder. These are her worst thoughts said out loud and back to her. Do you think she considers someone dying on her and leaving her alone a betrayal? Is that a part of this? Him saying “even the people you love” is interesting, does she really even have anyone she loves in the cast? Or does she just tolerate them. He’s making grand, sweeping statements about her life potentially before the killing game and hitting the nail on the head every time. An impressive feat of manipulation and perceptiveness.
“So distrust in others. Because that’s the only way you know how to live.”
Ow. Ouch. Owie. Not only is this a banger way to end the monologue but it’s just so telling. Teruko doesn’t even say anything in response she just waits for Charles to change to subject. Also, is he even really wrong? She tried to afford people trust and then she got stabbed and everyone else blamed her. She’s definitely swung too far the other way, but it’s not like she was good at knowing how much trust to afford people. This life is really the only way she knows how to live. How things are now, she’ll suffer any other way. It’s such juicy character writing. Damned if you do damned if you don’t. David has definitely been watching Teruko’s behavior, and quite frankly he has her figured out. He’s perceived her, and she hates it. I think we all know Teruko is lonely, she deeply wants people around her. But between being a danger to them and all her trust issues she shuts herself away. David is doing everything he can to keep her as far away from forming meaningful connections as possible. He’s clearly got some sort of plan.
There’s also a few things I want to talk about that I didn’t have the ability to put under a spoken line, so I’ll yap down here.
Firstly, Teruko extending some “trust” to Eden doesn’t prove David wrong. If anything, it strengthens his argument. Looking at the actual content of Teruko and Eden’s back and forth, it’s barely a scrap of trust and it’s completely conditional. Teruko basically said “because you helped me last trial I will trust you enough to investigate you second” which is still incredible progress for her, but it’s nothing close to genuine trust. This is not to diminish the progress Teruko made in that scene, but it’s nothing close to countering David’s claims.
Secondly, THAT VOICE ACTING HELLO?!?? David’s VA has always been great, but combined with DRDTdev’s wonderful writing and sprite design/choices he really brought this scene to life. He was perfectly smug and condescending. He had a voice that really portrayed that “I’m 100% right about you and you can’t do anything about it” vibe. Just a total piece of shit. 10/10 would listen again.
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trickstersaint · 1 month
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Hi! I've just stumbled across your 'patron saint'-quiz and I love it! 🖤 The way you put the answers to the questions is flawless, especially the 'heart'-question and the afterlife-question, not to mention the results! One gets the impression that you really put your heart in this quiz. My results are eerily fitting - same for a friend who I made take your quiz as well.👍 I'm wondering whether it is possible to read the other result texts somewhere as well? (Or would I have to play through the quiz again with some different educated guesses?) Thanks for creating this quiz and all the best for you. 🫂 Enjoy the day/night 🤗
hi!!!! so glad you like the quiz!!!! i definitely had a lot of fun making it, and it's been really fun seeing people's reactions to it too :)
happy to share the other results! putting them below <3
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deus-ex-mona · 5 months
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yurusanta: the ✨gift✨ that keeps on ✨giving✨
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chilapis · 5 months
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Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.
#not said sarcastically or as a vent by the way I genuinely find it so terribly amusing. you think I have it together ? aw <3 you fool.#i’ve been pacing around my room like a starving lion since the past week in whatever free time i’ve had.#and i keep getting people in my messages begging me for last minute help ? which is endearing but. i’m hanging on for dear life myself#helping isn’t foreign to me; i have 4 (?) people in my class who almost exclusively refer to me as ma’am and even refer to me as a teacher.#but helping last minute is so. deeply chaotic.#and I have this issue with me where having others around me makes me immediately drop into a ‘role’ of sorts?#i’ll be freaking out but then someone else starts freaking out around me and my immediate response is to just.#hey. we are going to make it out of this. it’s easy as pie. do you see me worried? no right? <- on the verge of hyperventilating#there’s this one guy in particular who got so excited to find out we have the exact same examination set-up tomorrow.#i gave him like basic pointers and i don’t think i’ve ever been thanked so earnestly and desperately in my life.#i remember during mocks my friends would message me what I wrote in questions and then they’d immediately go oh thank Fuck.#they’d literally just act like they’re absolutely going to pass now just because we had points ​in common.#as if i’m some sort of fucked up correct answer sheet incarnate.#it’s genuinely really sweet to me though; like i’m not posting this ranting or such.#having so much faith in another to the point that you can put yourself completely at ease says. alot i think.#and i’m glad i can be that person for so many.#and I feel like it helps me in a way too because i become so concerned with others that I forget to drown myself in my worries.#i forget that I’m worried because there are others to care about and console and help. so i suppose they help me in a way as well.#but also who is going to be that person for ME. who is going to console ME. im going fucking neurotic /jest#<- woman with ego issues & control issues who would rather die than accept help.#sigh. oh well. I’m sure we’ll do just fine. cannot wait#🥀🍷 — colloquy.
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zemnarihah · 10 months
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man
#i went to go see my dad bc his mom died this morning. and he was like clearly having a hard time with it i think more so than he was really#letting on. and its weird bc i was telling erik how it feels like nowadays this is like. a different version of my dad like it really doesn#feel like the same person who traumatized me and my siblings growing up. that feels like a ghost almost idk. but he was talking to me abt#his mom who from the little bits ive gathered here and there i can assume she was pretty emotionally abusive to him. but he said.#'my mom definitely made a few mistakes with me. but i have to try to move on and live my life as best as i can'. god i felt like i was#looking in a mirror. he seemed so sad it was like he was trying to convince himself. and trying so hard not to be mad even though he has#every right to. but i guess at a certain point you do have to let it go. idk. i guess i never really see him be very vulnerable except when#it comes to the church. he did talk about the church as well he said that as much as she mistreated him hes grateful she gave him faith in#god and that he thinks thats the most important thing a parent can give their child. and i didnt rlly know what to say ig mostly i was just#letting him talk. but god. it was hard. i hope maybe this is like.his chance to let go of all the hurt from his childhood. that he gets to#finally grieve it along with her. idk.#i feel like my view of my father gets more complicated every year i get older. i just dont always know how to reckon with it.
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kajiimotojiiro · 2 years
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Ugh
#im going to ramble in these tags for a bit so that the potentially triggering tags#are located way way way down and no one will look at them i just#so uh yeah hows the weather anyone else having insane sinus drainage#i actually had a patient call me today worried because her nose was running and her head hurt and im like#well if it isnt getting worse and its only been a few days and you have no other symptoms you probs have sinus issues like everyone else#in this state but if youre super worried and antihistamines dont help please contact your doctor i appreciate your faith in a pharmacist#being able to diagnose over the phone but i actually legally cannot do that#are these tags long enough yet#possibly but who knows anyway if youre here uhhh tw animal death ahead#im a petsitter and have been for like. 10 years now and i share sits with my mom sometimes bc i work full time and cant always get there#anyway at one of our shared sits today she went in and one of the little cats was just#suddenly dead. like she wasnt that old and yet she was just. stiff and gone and we're both just so fucked up over it#like i wish there had been some sign and we could have saved her even though it was likely an unfixable heart defect#and her people apparently had taken her to the vet LAST WEEK and didnt bother to tell us that she seemed to be feeling poorly last week#and theyre just like oh we'll get a new cat when we come back#meanwhile my ocd has been going insane since then bc i have really bad intrusive thoughts centering on keeping my cats alive#like half of my rituals are specifically for my cats#and i just keep think about poor sammie dying alone and scared bc we werent there with her and her people had been gone since friday#and it just makes me so fucking sad my heart is breaking but i cant stop thinking about it and no distractions are working#rip sammie you were such a sweet little cat and im so sorry you had to go alone and scared
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no1ryomafan · 2 months
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I’ve been thinking about this for awhile regarding kikaider stuff but after watching Mazinkaiser I had a realization with older anime IPs when it comes to adaptations even if it’s so obvious.
When we think of anime adaptations we tend to either see “they’re 100% faithful just a few scenes might get cut out for time, or the anime might expand on the manga a tad more” (the more recent stuff) or “they start by faithfully adapting the manga before it goes into a different direction and makes up its own story” (a trend usually seen in the 2000s) but I think older anime IPs strike a interesting middle ground of “they were already different from the manga yet are still adapting elements from it.”
An obvious examples is the getter ovas change details of the manga but new which is considered the “closest” to the manga is still super different-aging up the cast, how Michiru is very different, having musashi and Benkei be one dude, etc-I would say dynapro has a general trend of doing this even if they do try to adapt key moments, but I also thought about how kikaider did this with its first anime. Instead of being 1 to 1 to the manga it changed a lot of things, and it especially feels clear with the second anime they wanted you to have read the manga.
Of course this has its downsides if all the shows expect you to read the manga first as watching anime is easier for most people-though the reverse is true for others-but I do find this a lot cooler how the anime and mangas are different from the start yet share things that it feels encouraging to read and watch both of them rather then the whole of people going “watch this anime adaptation that’s mid until it gets mid then read the rest of the manga”.
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strikersin · 3 months
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Dreams. Dreams. DREAMS!
The one where I'm watching a movie at Luther's house and she is dressed in almost Russian attire - Fancy, cold, and so beautiful. And we're in bed and I'm explaining my excitement over the Pathologic movie and later we have to deal with zombies but whatever.
And I'm playing with children's toys there. Everyone is so young.
Real life when we were read The Last Unicorn or something, something, at the cafeteria table. The book where the protagonist is taught how to keep her thoughts locked up tight like a box.
Ugh.
#so many connecting strings it's almost like it all MEANS SOMETHING#I just can't believe it. That it doesn't.#and all this time I've... I've spent talking about how our realities are different and how the rules are different... well#this puts that in a perspective that is new.#and it's <<what have you been doing for the last nine months>> from my dad#and it's my general lack of... faith in myself since I got sick. and more accurately when I lost my friend#I feel so stupid. for every little bit of it. for him. for believing in this. (I want to believe). for following my intuition. ("following#yeah. you get the point. I don't know. What Am I even doing. Obviously I'm where I'm supposed to be. I feel so bleak. I want this to be ove#the last NINE MONTHS> you know. the term of a . pregnancy#(pregnant with my delusions maybe)#I just can't even feel happy or experience things without running it through the lens of my father#and I'm worried about him I. want to make sure he's okay and I want him to be safe and happy#it doesn't matter if I KILL MYSELF. it's just too expensive to do so right now and I have a responsibility in Kira. I mean. I do.#Icy telling me that it's going to be March and then for March to be a whirlwind of grief and pain leading into my sickness#and now sitting with this deadline. I think about it every moment of the day I'm not occupied.#UGH. thinking about my hospital bill. that I shouldn't fucking have for a procedure I didn't fucking need. Glad that experience is over.#UGH.#and now back to limerence#what about the dream where I'm actually fucking competent and my method of doing things helps save everyone who was incapacitated#in a very cool Top Gun style.#God. Damn it.#GOD DAMN IT#What am I supposed to do though?? I'm meant to keep living and push on from all of that. How am I supposed to let that go?#I mean everything I hoped and believed in? It's just getting pushed off to accommodate the timeline?#I mean fine? But what?#I was drifting for so long and now?? I'm both healing and losing my mind. man.#God. I'm really disappointed.#nd I have a really hard time doing or accepting nice things for myself because of the Dad Filter#individuate kid. c'mon it doesn't matter what he thinks about your interpersonal relationships#not to mention I have no idea what's going on in his mind. although it's surprising that I did manage to clock what was bothering him
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medicinemane · 6 months
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The problem with people who are "right" because they insist they're right, and the only way to be right is to simply perfectly follow their every dictation on the subject unquestioningly is this...
Ok, let's just take it as a given that you're right... the problem here is that if that's what's right I'm afraid I have to dig my heels into being wrong. If you are as righteous and just as you insist you are then I've got no choice but to be the villain because I can't stand what you're saying I'd have to do to be good
Shockingly I even think it's wrong, which is odd because we've already defined it that you're inherently and unassailably right... yet here we are
Worst part is there's a lot of these things where I'm not even full stop against it, I actually might be on their side if they could stop and address a couple of issues I consider kind of important... but they won't, because they're morally right and don't have time for addressing nonexistent issues I'm clearly just dreaming up
Undoubtedly right they are, the defect must surely be my own... and yet here we are. Vile and wicked as it might make me, I still can't just go along with you
#mm tag so i can find things later#and whatever you think this is about and however you've already decided it agrees with you#I'll say this is about like... minimum 2 topics at very different points in the political spectrum... and probably like 20 easy#so like... it may well be talking about your own behavior on certain subjects#I'm talking about not even being willing to entertain good faith questions#and especially about labeling anyone who doesn't tow your exact party line a horrible person#...the amount of shit where it's like 'you know I actually agree with you... except for this one major sticking point'#'just tell me how we deal with this one pretty big thing and I'm fully on board' and... well actually you're terrible for that#or the amount of places where it's like I agree with your goals; but not your methods but... I don't think arguing would do a damn thing#you've already dug your heels in so deep and maybe you're even right to do it.. but I'll never go along with it no matter what that makes m#and the number of overall good people I know who this post is honestly about#they may well be far better than I am; I've never claimed to be good; quite the opposite#and yet I'm afraid I have to say that... to me you're wrong; wrong in concrete ways#maybe you could even address my concerns and help me see with my stupid brain why these aren't issues... but you won't#because you're right; and you know you're right; and so you'll never be wrong#and this isn't just some idle whataboutism... or maybe it is; I'll never say I'm the moral arbiter; again I could be wickedly wrong#and there's a variety of reasons someone believes what they believe; but... there's often blind dogma at the end#I may be stupid; but I can usually draw a line from my stance to something in the world#maybe it's a stupid nonsense line and I don't see my mental gymnastics... very well could be#but I can draw a line... it's not just circular logic; it's not just bouncing between two points#and I often can actually point to places I'm not happy with how things are or will be... we live in the real world and that sucks#example that... man it's more politically charged than I like getting; but ok#I really want this Ukrainian aid to pass even though I don't like the Israeli aid attached... but I get that's the only way it's passing#I want the Ukraine aid because I see residential houses getting stuck by missiles; but I don't want the Israeli aid for the same reason#and it comes down to that I think that the aid amount is sufficiently higher to Ukraine to make it enough of a net positive#I could be wrong... but you can at least see my work; I'm coming at it from a perspective of bombing civilians is wrong#I could be stupid; I could point to two people I know on here who would tell me I'm stupid for at least one part of this... probably all#yet there it is... and... it'll be hard to convince me otherwise
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die-tenebris · 8 months
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Tell me what tumblr site wide fixation you don't understand or find annoying, mine is the whole biblically correct angel thing
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torgawl · 11 months
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i'm so obsessed with wriothesley's concept. his constellation being cerberus, the fortress having the 3 headed dog insignia and also being the literal representation of the underworld is just so cool. the fact they mixed catholic influences too with the whole noah's arc plot is kind of crazy. he's just that guy!!!
#unrelated but i'm so obsessed with the ost during his character quest#the music fit the moments so so well the way they used it to add to the tension in certain scenes was so fun#i really enjoyed the quest i'm sad it's over aaa#i miss him already#he's such a cool guy he's composed but i also love that we got to see him angry that he isn't really that secretive despite his past that#even though he's able to ommit information and do his best for his own goals he isn't manipulative and that he genuinely cares and wants to#connect to others#seeing him call the fortress his home was heartwarming it's obvious that place is special to him and it's obvious he meant it when he#spoke about it being a place for rebirth and turning your life around because that's what it means for him#knowing they will have a wedding is so cute i hope we get to see it 😭#i wonder if he still talks with his siblings i would love to know more about his relationship with them#also knowing he was used to living with many people from the get go#so the fortress and a sense of community is familiar to him too the same way lyney lynette and freminet have the house of the hearth#anyways i'm just so happy wrio is a happy guy#i said this before but like it's so!!! that he is so open about his struggles with trust and his bad childhood#he's just the embodiment of hope#and having faith for a better tomorrow and that you do not have to be doomed by the conditions you're put through that you can get out and#that you can choose the person you want to become and that despite the hurting and pain and the loneliss you can be a source of light to#others and that it's through loving others and community that we thrive#and that means the whole world to me#i love him so so much#genshin spoilers
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