#i have depression YES I WANT TO SELL MY UNDERWEAR

[sparkley-bones]

CW NSFW

Quick how do I tell my partner I'm interested in fetish sw 😵‍💫😵‍💫 I would LOVE the autonomy AND I would get paid to be a cute goth and that's basically one of my biggest dreams <33 helpp (offers too good to give up welcome :p )

[chibinekochan]

How to become a Demon Ruler 111

Part:   01 I 02  I 03  I 04 I 05  I 06 I 07 I 09 I 10

GN. Reader insert

taglist:  @ayesha95    ;  @nomnomcupcakesworld ;  @fex-phoenix   ; @depressed-bixch ;   @kitsune-oji

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"Now all that's left is ingredients." I'm pretty happy with what I've got so far. 

"There is one more spot that I want to visit," Diavolo says with a smile. 

"Of course, let's go there first." I wonder what Diavolo wants to buy. 

Before long he leads me to a fancy clothing store. 

"Do you need a suit for the party?" I can only wonder why we are here. 

"No, we are here for you. I know Barbatos bought you plenty of clothes, but I want this one to be special." He smiles at me warmly. 

His warmth spreads to my heart. I smile at him. He is so thoughtful. "That is very gracious of you, but isn't it too much?" I'm touched, but I can't even imagine how pricey everything is in this type of store. 

"Nonsense, I want to indulge you. Please let me do this for you." Diavolo looks at me with his puppy dog eyes.

I can't win. "Alright." So I simply agree. 

Diavolo smiles at me happily.

  We head into the store. It's elegant, I feel very out of place.

The judging look of the high-class store clerk only strengthens my feeling. 

They were just about to force us out when Diavolo flashes his clear bankcard. Might be the same as a black card in our world, at least the reaction of the clerk seems to indicate that. 

Their expression and whole demeanor change in an instance. It's probably the prospect of a significant sale. I can't blame them, to be honest.

  "How can I assist you today?" They are fully in sales mode now. 

"We wish to look for an outfit for an upcoming party. It's a semi-formal event." Diavolo gives a summary of what we want. 

"I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for so can I just look around for a bit?" I'd rather find something that flatters me. 

"Naturally. We have our evening attire right over there. We have plenty of dresses and suits, even matching sets. They aren't just for weddings these days." The clerk points to one of the walls. 

"That's pretty intriguing." Diavolo seems to like the idea. 

"Would you like to see suits or dresses for yourselves?" The clerk seems to ask me more than anything. 

"I wonder if you even have any dresses in my size?" Diavolo asks this so absolutely calmly that I'm sure the demon world is just like this. 

Well, at least this clerk seems to be very taken aback from this question, seemingly unsure if it was a joke. " We have dresses in various sizes. I'm certain we can find one for you." 

"Do you think that would cause a scene?" Diavolo now asks me with his innocent eyes. 

"I'm confident it would be lovely on you, but you would steal all the attention from me. Maybe next time." I don't know how other demons would judge him. I think it would look great, but I will have to ask Barbatos. 

"Oh yeah, you might be right. I would hate that. We need to dress in matching outfits one day. Everyone would love it." Diavolo looks sure about this at least. 

Well, it's good to see that he is so open-minded. I can only weakly nod at him. 

He would definitely outshine me that much is certain.

  "This looks pretty nice." I take one of the expensive-looking outfits and take a more thorough look. " It has an open back." It's too sexy, and it probably wouldn't look good on me anyway. " I want to hang it back.

"It would look great on you for a different occasion." Diavolo smiles kindly at me.

  Then he sees a very beautiful outfit. "Oh, this is perfect." He holds it up. It's truly a lovely piece. 

"It would look great on you." I smile at him. 

"Thank you, but I selected it for you." Diavolo seems to blush a little. 

"For me? I'm not sure if that will look good on me." I look at the beautiful fabric, and it's finely cut. I have never worn anything like this before. 

"You should try it on." Diavolo softly encourages me. 

"Alright. I will try it on." There is no harm in that. 

"Great, you should also try all of these on." Diavolo has his arms full of different outfits. I can only wonder how he got all of them so fast. With this amount, I'm bound to find something that I like. 

"Have you found something for yourself?" It's hard to tell with this massive amount of clothes. 

"No, sadly I will have to wear my formal attire." He sighs with big regrets. 

"I'm sure you will look dashing." I hope to cheer him up with my words. 

Diavolo smiles at me, seemingly fully recovered. "I can only look dashing with you at my site. Shall we head to the changing room then?" 

"Yes, we have plenty for me to try on." The number of clothes will likely keep me busy for hours.

  We head over to a secluded area in the store. Diavolo sits on a big couch in the middle of the area. I head to the curtained chaining room.

  The outfits are all neatly lined up." Please call me when you need help and for the zippers." The clerk cheerfully offers their service. 

"Thank you." I smile and close the curtains behind me. 

I have to strip down to my underwear and start to try on countless outfits.

  Each time I go outside and do a little spin for Diavolo. Each and every time he causes a big show of praising me in the outfit. 

It makes choosing very hard. 

The last outfit I try on is the one that Diavolo chose first for me. Now where I wear it, I must admit that it looks superb. 

Diavolo genuinely has great taste.

  I step out of the changing room. Diavolos face lights instantly up. "This is the outfit you need to wear. I mean you should wear it. " Diavolo is so excited that he has to correct himself. The look on his face is fully selling me. 

It seems like he can't even imagine me wearing anything but this. I smile at Diavolo. "In that case, I will wear it."

"Don't feel pressured into it. Please choose whatever you like the most."  Diavolo seems to regret what he said. 

"Don't be silly. I choose it because I like it best." Even when I like it best because he likes it best. 

"Well in that case we will buy it. What about the other outfits?" He is joyful again. 

"I only need one outfit." I technically don't even need it thanks to Barbatos. 

"Too bad, but we can always come back right?" He is a bit disappointed but recovers all on his own. 

"Of course. We have to buy those matching outfits after all." I cheerfully smile at him.

  He nods very enthusiastically, and we pay for the outfit. 

I'm very cheerful as we leave. With this new outfit, I start to look forward to the party.

  "So now we need to go to the market." I look at Diavolo. 

"Yes, let's head there next but what about a break first? You must be very exhausted by now." Diavolo looks at me with great worry. 

"I am somehow full of energy, but I could use some food." Food sounds very good to me right now. 

"Food does sound good. Where shall we eat?" Diavolo is all on board with my idea. 

"I want to eat in your favorite restaurant." I can't say that I have any idea about demon food.

"Hmm, that might be difficult, but I heard devils’ den has great food so how about that instead?" Diavolo sounds very apologetic. 

"That sounds perfect." I had forgotten that the kind of place Diavolo would go to would have a long waiting list.

  So we head towards the devil's den.

  Before we can enter the place a very familiar and uncharacteristically angry-looking demon stands in our path. 

" Young lord, I can't believe my eyes. Dragging the young master with you into town? Do you even realize what kind of terrific things could have happened to them? To both of you?" Barbatos looks at Diavolo with anger and speaks in a very harsh manner. Now I can see why Mammon is scared of him. He has changed into a true demon, including his now demonized form.

Diavolo looks down like a child that knows it messed up. "I only wanted to make them happy."

"It's my fault I wanted to go so badly. I basically forced him to go with me." I step in to support Diavolo. I can't let him take all the blame. "I wanted to get the presents for the brothers and ingredients for tomorrow." I show him my best puppy eyes. 

Barbatos only shakes his head. "You both were just off having fun. I can't believe how reckless you are my lord. I can't blame the young master since they are young and naive to the demon world, but you know the dangers." Barbatos is very angry. 

"I kept them safe." Diavolo tries to defend himself. 

"You did, but imagine what could have happened to them. Can you even imagine how much I worried about them after I heard from Asmo about your little adventures?" Barbatos looks with cold eyes at Diavolo. 

He has not much to defend himself with. "I'm sorry Barbatos. I just want them to love the devildom as much as I do." Diavolo sounds heartbroken. It's just a simple reason, but it truly warms my heart. 

"Please at least punish us both. I desired to come here in the first place." I plead with Barbatos. 

Barbatos looks at me with a strange look. I'm not quite sure what it is.

  Then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. This seems to calm him down a bit, at least. "I understand how frustrating all of this must be. Everything changed for you once you came here. I share Lord Diavolos desire to make you feel at home. His desire to make you love our home. I want the same thing for you. However, you must learn that you are now a target for certain people. Whenever I like it or not." Barbatos takes a deep breath. His demonic state changes back to his usual humanlike form. Then he looks at me gently. "You are very important to both of us, and today you could have lost your life. Even when Diavolo brought every bodyguard with him. Even when Diavolo has put protective spells over you. There are countless dangers in this world. Please promise me to never do this again." He only looks at me now. I can tell his words are filled with compassion. 

"I'm sorry I was reckless." I feel very ashamed now. His words have a big impact on me. He has never spoken this way to me before. 

"Barbatos don't make them promise something like this. I take full responsibility for today. Please let them have fun in the future as well." Diavolo doesn't seem to have any regrets. 

Barbatos shakes his head. "You cannot cast me as the villain here. My job is to look out for both of you. I have no intention of ruining anyone's fun. Don't misunderstand me. I fully intend to let the young master have all the fun they want to have, but in a responsible way." Barbatos explains his intentions. It seems reasonable to me. 

"I promise in the future I will tell you about my plans." This promise comes from my heart and seems reasonable enough. 

Barbatos smiles gratefully. "Thank you very much, young master." Then he looks at Diavolo and his face turns stern in an instance. "Your punishment will be to pay for dinner, for both of us today and I want to see all the missing papers before midnight today."

Diavolo sighs deeply. "Alright." He seems utterly defeated. 

The punishment seems very light in my opinion, but it seems to have hit the mark. 

"What have you bought anyway?" Barbatos eyes the bags that Diavolo is carrying. 

"We bought a top for Asmo, a pair of sunglasses for Mammon, a pillow for Belphie, and we found matching bed sets for all of us. Then Diavolo got me a very pretty outfit for the party." I list the items off, emphasizing what we got for him. 

"You went alone with them to buy the outfit for the party?" Barbatos sounds like he is offended. 

"I wanted to spoil them." Diavolo shrugs. 

Barbatos narrows his eyes. "Unbelievable, my lord, I'm deeply hurt." He seems honestly more hit by this than our secret trip. 

"We can go together next time." I try to make Barbatos happy. I had no idea that he likes outfit shopping this much. 

"Thank you, young master, but I will not forget this, my lord." He smiles at me but glares towards Diavolo. Who seemingly doesn't care about this offense.

  Even during our dinner, Barbatos keeps shooting glares towards Diavolo. I'm pretty sure he also took the most expensive items on the menu.

  Barbatos has already gotten us all the ingredients for tomorrow, and I also tell him about the items that I will need as gifts from my home and the human world.

  After today's wild day I fall fast asleep once I hit my bed. 

[julessworldd]

Little Rose Ch. 2

Warnings: Arguments, slight/implied smut, alochol, angst at the end, fluff at some parts. A/n: A lot of stuff is off from when it happened, sue me. It is a fanfiction so thing aren’t extactly to the timeline. Like events between mandy and duff. No hate towards Mandy! I have nothing against her. Again sorry for making Duff such an ass, it’s just  for the plot. love our sweet boy. Suprise apperances, you’ll know ;) enjoy babes!!

A couple days later, I finally peeled myself off the bathroom floor. Slash had laid with me the first night, but had a date last night. 

“Y/n, what happened? You’ve not been at work”, Slash asked me, after finding me on the floor. “Oh hi Slash, just depressed is all. Stupid boy stuff”, I sighed, slighty moving my head towards him. 

“What happened? I’m a boy”, Slash laid next to me. “No, its dumb”

“Y/n, tell me or I’ll call Axl on you”, Slash said. “Okay” I sighed.

I had told him what happened between Izzy, Duff and I, even my feelings for Duff. He let me cry and say what I needed to say or felt like saying. Threatened to kick Duff’s ass, I told him it wouldn’t fix anything, but appreciated the gesture. Slash accidentally let it slip that Duff had a girlfriend, she was in a band, blond, sorta my height. At least he listened to me. I grinned. “Y/n, are you okay?”, Axl busted in and ran over to me. “Yeah, I am now. Thanks to Slash”, I said grabbing my purse. “You’re not sick”, Axl held his hand on my forehead. “No Ax, I got into a depression rut is all. I miss my boys so can I come back to work?”, I asked. “Of course, I need your opinion on songs”, Axl kissed my cheek. “Race ya to the cars”, I nudged him. I won and won racing to work. “Did you cut me off?”, Axl asked. “No, it’s called winning”, I scoffed. 

“Izzy came up with the name, but I don’t know if it would fit my lyrics”, Axl was explaining a song when we walked into the studio. Steven, Slash, Izzy were sitting on the couch, smoking away. “Janie, you’re back!”, Steven ran to me. “Yeah, I’m back Stevie.” I let go of him and sat on the arm of the couch, next to Izzy. He looked up at me and patted my knee. Silently letting me know he was sorry and missed me. I smiled back at him. The door opened, making us look. It was Duff and I assume his girlfriend, they were making out. “Duff, it’s time to work now”, Axl grumbled. My heart broke into a million pieces seeing him. Izzy sensed it and looked at me, “You were right”, I mumbled for Izzy to hear. “Don’t matter, Janie. You okay?”, Izzy asked. “Why wouldn’t I be”, I sighed. Duff and his girlfriend walked in, “Hey Duff, who’s this?”, the blond asked. “Oh, this is Janie, Axl’s little sister and our assistant”, Duff said, tuning his bass. “Hi, I’m Mandy”, Mandy stuck her hand out. “Uh yeah, hi. Axl, you want your tea now or later”, I brushed her off. Probably gonna be another chick tomorrow to be honest, why get friendly with her.  Axl was gonna say something but Duff cut him off, “Janie, she was talking to you.” “I know and?”, I snickered from my place next to Izzy. “And? Have some manners, Christ sakes”, Duff said hateful. “First off, leave my sister alone and get in the booth. Janie, I’ll take my tea now”, Axl finally said something. “Sure thing, Axl”, I smirked. Duff rolled his eyes and shook his head.  Before lunch, Mandy told Duff she had to go record with her band across town. “Okay, 10 minute break guys”, Axl stretched his back. The rest of them went out, but Duff stayed behind. Obviously, why he did. “What the fuck?”, Duff said as the door shut. “Excuse me?”, I asked. “Why were you so fucking rude to Mandy? She was just being nice, you’re the only one who hasn’t met her yet.”, Duff huffed. “Why does my approval matter, huh? I’m your assistant, I just grab your lunch and follow your orders. It’s not your decision if I like your girlfriend even Axl’s. Just get the fuck out of my face before yours ended up through the booth glass, okay? I don’t owe you shit, you broke my heart, bastard!”, I yelled. “You won’t do it, Rose”, Duff got into my face. “Get the fuck away from my baby sister or I’ll fucking bash your head into the glass personally!”, Axl yelled. 

“Whatever, I’m out of here”, Duff pushed by the guys. “And stay the fuck out!”, Axl yelled. “Janie, you okay? He didn’t touch you did he?”, Axl turned to me like a mother hen. “I’m okay, just a misunderstanding”, I said staring at the door. Axl took his fingers to my chin, he was studying my face. “Janie, come with me”, Izzy said. Axl let me go. “You two talked about the other night?”izzy asked, handing me a cigarette. “Not exactly. He confronted me about how I acted towards Mandy. Like I’m gonna be buddy buddy with your new whore.”, I scoffed. “You’re not wrong, she’s not my favorite person”, Iz grumbled. “I wasn’t rude to her right, Izzy”, I asked. “Different circumstances, yes you were. But, he’s doing this to make you jealous”, Izzy said holding my hand. “Thanks, Iz”, I blew out smoke. “Anytime, kid”, Izzy flicked his cigarette ash. “I’m sorry about the other night. I don’t want you to fuck off, you’re my brother, I love you”, I laid my head on his shoulder. “I know you don’t. Don’t get all warm and gooey, I’ll ash my cigarette on that big ass forehead of yours.”, Izzy smirked. “You could sell  Wyoming on yours”, I winked at him. “Sit on it, Janie”, Izzy rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Fonzie”, I hopped off the milk crates. “You’re definitely Potsy, kid”, Izzy grinned. “Keith Richards called his wants his style back, Isbell”, I opened the door. Izzy would kill me one day for sure, but then would probably break down from realization.

“You okay?”, Slash asked, grabbing my hand. “For now, if I’m gonna lay on my bathroom floor, I’ll call you”, I smiled at me. “Please do”, Slash said seriously.  “Thanks, Slash”, I kissed his cheek. 

The phone rang, “Hello?”, I answered it. 

“Hey Janie, wanna come to a bar with us?”, Kelly asked. 

“Hi Kells, sure why not. Do you want me to drive or what?”, I grinned. Traci still kept in contact with Axl, Izzy and me, I met his new band. Kelly and I hit it off pretty well at the Whiskey Go-Go. “I’ll come get you, babe”, Kelly said.

“Okay, be careful”, I grinned, already planning my outfit. I stepped out of my room and saw Kelly perched on my couch’s arm. “Goddamn, you look smokin, baby Rose” “Thanks, Kelly. It was my intention to be smokin tonight”, I grinned, reaching up to kiss his cheek. “Who you after? Word on the street is that you and Duff quit fucking”, Kelly opened my door, to let me out. “Who told you?”, I asked. “Duff”, Kelly whispered. “Fucking course he would do that. What am I a whore or what?”I asked, getting curious to what that fucker was saying about me. “Just said you went all crazy and kicked him out. Told him to find a groupie and hoped she gave him crabs”, Kelly said as we pulled up to the bar. “I said herpes, not crabs. What’s the word on Mandy? His new chick”, I asked wanting to be nosey and use it for blackmail.  “She’s in an all girl band, singer, they met after a show at the Starwood. You’re way way hotter than her by the way”, Kelly said, holding the door for me. “You’re really flirty tonight, Kells”, I smirked. We sat with the band after, getting drinks. “Ah ello, Janie”, Phil smirked. “Hi Phil”, I sat down between Kelly and Traci. “Hey kid, how are you?”, Traci pulled me into his side for a hug. “Been better, Trac. You?”, I asked. “Heyy Duff! Didn’t expect you here”, I heard a dude yell. There he was, standing at the bar in all leather, hair teased in a messy punk manner, he looked good, besides her perched on his arm. “Janie”, I slightly heard Traci call out my name. He had probably heard what happened between Duff and I. I stood up and pulled Kelly to the bar with me, “Can you act like you’re trying to fuck just long enough for me to be petty?” “I don’t have to act, babe. Tell me what to do? I won’t push you too far, okay?”, Kelly rubbed my wrist. “Okay, Kelly and be rough as you want and follow my league”, I smirked. Duff and Mandy were sitting at the bar, chatting. “Hey Joe, two beers please?”, I brushed Duff’s back as I leaned to the bar. Kelly wedged himself to my back side, trailing his hand on my hips. He tried to unlace my leather pants, “Kelly, not now”, I squealed. You could tell Duff was trying to ignore us, but couldn’t. “Here you go, Janie. Tell your brother I said hi”, Joe smiled handing Kelly and I our beer. “Thanks, Joe I will”, I said. 

“Come dance with me, they’re dancing”, Kelly whispered in my ear.

“Perfect”, I smirked at the opportunity to make Duff’s skin crawl.

Kelly pulled me towards his crotch, “Be slutty as you can be”

“Sure thing, Cowboy”, I smirked and rubbed my body down his. Kelly was grinding himself on me, I nudged back, he kissed my neck. Duff had moved himself and Mandy closer to us. Kelly noticed and grabbed my boob, “Sorry”, He whispered loud enough for me to hear. I moaned out as he started attacking my neck. Kelly had his head burying my neck, kissing my neck and ran his hand down my thigh. He was really playing his part, give him that. “Be louder” I opened my eyes and caught Duff’s hazel one, looking into my blue ones. He was fuming.  Kelly bit down on my neck, making me moan his name, “Mhmm, Kelly” Duff grabbed Mandy and left. Kelly was still on my neck, I wanted to tell him the show was over, but he felt so good. “Hey Kells, he left already but wanna come back to my place?”I asked, grabbing his hand off my hip. “Fuck yes. I know you were just doing it to piss Duff off, but damn we got too into”, Kelly whined, pointing at his dick. “I’m sorry, Kelly. Come on, you need some help”, I pulled him to his car. Kelly got in and I went to his pants, “Mhm, what about your brother? He’ll kill me if he finds out”, Kelly said with a look of fear in his eyes. “Duff and I had been fucking for almost two years and the motherfucker still doesn’t know.”, I said. “Okay then, continue”, Kelly said sliding his pants and underwear down to where I could reach him. “Fuck”, Kelly threw his head back groaning.

 He pulled up to my apartment, “Damn, you’re really good at head” “Thanks”, I smirked. It was morning, I woke up, “Who the hell? Oh It’s Kelly”, I rolled over. “Yeah, it’s me”, Kelly smirked. It was 8:15 am, I was due at the studio at 10. “Hey, uhm I gotta be at the studio at 10, wanna shower with me?”, I asked. “Sure”, Kelly picked me up in bridal style. Izzy watched me pull up, “What the fuck did you do last night?” “Went to a bar with Kelly, seen Traci. Why am I late?” I asked, stealing his cigarette. “No but you smell like booze and shame sex”, Izzy dead panned. “It wasn’t shameful sex”, I rolled my eyes. “Was  it with Duff?”, Izzy asked as we walked back in. “No”, I said. “Who?”, Izzy asked again. “Don’t get mad or even tell Axl okay?”, I looked up at him. He nodded. “Kelly”, I breathed out. “Okay, at least it wasn’t a random fuck. Did he wear?”, Izzy smirked. “No, I’m on the pill nosey ass”, I punched his arm. 

Izzy, Slash were in the booth. Axl was talking to the press about something, Steven was in the booth with them. Duff and I were sitting down, and the room was fueled by tension.  “Why did you tease me last night?”, Duff spoke up. “What are you talking about?”, I rolled my eyes. “Don’t play dumb, Janie. That’s not the first time you’ve teased me at a bar with another guy”, Duff said, staring at me. “Why did you leave after, you heard me moan?”, I shot back. Duff was quiet. “What I thought, McKagan”, I smirked as Axl walked in. “God, I hate the press at times” “Who are you supposedly banging now?”, I asked Axl. “Every supermodel in North America, any groupie”, Axl smirked. “You still have great posture after fucking those girls”, I grinned at him. “Thanks sis, it’s a secret talent of mine. Duff it’s your turn”, Axl said sitting next to me by the panel. “You do anything last?”, Axl looked at me. “Uh, Kelly picked me up and wanted to go drink. I saw and talked to Traci. He wanted me to tell you hi”, I said, marking a list of things that had been done. “Nice, glad you had fun”, Axl patted my knee. “You busy tonight, Ax?”, I asked. “Probably gonna watch a horror movie later tonight. Why do you wanna join?”, Ax asked. “Yeah, I do. Miss us”, I smiled. “Miss us too, kid”, Axl smiled. He always tried to make time for us to hang out besides work. 

I was walking to my car when a hand grabbed my shoulder, “Can we talk?”, It was Duff. “Why so you can go tell people on the strip that I’m whore for kicking out?”, I cut my eyes at him. “I didn’t call you a whore, you’re not either. I was pissed, it was after our argument, I went drinking and a few guys were around.”, Duff said. “A few guys that happen to have been in the band. Traci and Kelly told me all about what you said. If I’m whore then you’re just a lawful player that used me as another notch on his belt.”, I looked up at him. “Janie, I’m sorry for talking about you like that, I’m sorry for being a dick the past two days. I didn’t mean it”, Duff whined. “Fine. As for now, I’m just your assistant, so don’t talk to me unless you need me to get you lunch or something okay? Cause I’m done with you as a friend and a sleeping buddy, so go home to Mandy and leave alone”, I patted his shoulder. “Janie” “No no, I’m serious. Now goodnight, Mr. McKagan”, I said, getting in my car and heading to Axl’s. I looked in the mirror, he was standing there, flabbergasted as I drove away. Maybe I was too harsh on him, but fuck him, he broke my heart. 

Grocery shopping is one of the things I hated about adulting, but it had to be done.  I was in the frozen section, looking at my list. “Janie?”, I looked up to see Mandy. “Oh hi, Mandy”, I smiled. “Just shopping and noticed you was all.”, She smiled. “Right? Huh, listen. I’m sorry for how I acted towards you, the first time I met you. Duff and I had a fight and I was mad at him. I’m sure you’re a nice girl and I’m sorry being a straight up bitch that day.”, I finally got it off my chest. “It’s okay, we’ve all been petty towards another girl before. He told me what happened between you guys. All is forgiven”, Mandy grabbed my hand and smiled. “Yeah, but it wasn’t right. It was between me and him. Uh, enjoy your shopping”, I looked down. “Thanks, you too. It was nice talking to you Janie, see ya later.” Mandy smiled before walking away. “You too”, I mumbled, looking around for Duff to be laughing with her as they were doing it just to make me the fool. No blond in sight. 

Next few weeks, the boys were planning their town for this year. They finished their EP weeks ago, I was proud of them. I was sitting next to their producer at the panel, the door opened and the boys walked in. “Hey guys”, I smiled. Various ‘Heys’ responded back. “Can’t wait for you to see this tour, Janie. It’s so kickass”, Slash pulled me into a hug. “Kickass is very you guys”, I giggled in his arms as the door opened. Mandy stood.

“Hey babe, what are you doing here?”Duff brushed pass us.

“Are you free for lunch?”she asked, twirling something on her finger. “Of course, I was just getting my bass I left here. Oh almost forgot! Hey guys, Janie come here.”, He grinned pulling her to his side. We all stood, Slash still held me at his side. “What Duff?”, Izzy mumbled. “We’re getting married”, Duff said, bringing Mandy’s hand towards us. A circle cut diamond adorned her finger. “Good for you guys. I’m happy for you Duff”, Axl pulled him into a hug. The guys told them congrats and they were proud of him for being a man. “Janie?”, Mandy asked. My chest heaved, I pushed Duff out of my way as I ran down the hall. “What’s with her?” Axl asked as I cut a corner. “I’ll go find her”, Izzy said, taking off. I tried to run but my legs gave out on me, Izzy caught me. I started bawling, my whole world was tumbling down, he wasn’t gonna be mine anymore. “Shhsh”, Izzy rocked me in his chest. 

[namjuicyy]

The Contract - Chapter 12

Masterlist | Requests are open.

Genre: Fluff, smut, angst.

Genre of this part: Angst.

Word Count: 2.6k.

Summary: Your life is turned upside down when a contract is pushed your way. But what happens if you sign it?

Warnings: Mentions of vomiting, depression.

Packed bags sat in the entranceway to the apartment, taking up the available space and making it difficult for anyone to enter or exit the place. The way the seven were feeling, they wouldn’t care if they never left the apartment. They barely spoke to each other since ___ left, and the air around them was so suffocating, even management didn’t want to be around them.

When they arrived home, the first thing they did, well Jungkook did, was go into what was ___’s room and turn the light on. Empty. Jungkook felt a pang of pain when he saw just how big the room was without all of her things in it. It smelled like her still. The scent of her perfume lingered in the air serving as a reminder that she had recently been force ejected out of their lives. Jungkook wasn’t one for tears usually. It took a lot to make him cry. But there he was, kneeling on the floor of what was her bedroom, breathing in her scent and bawling like a baby. He’d never been betrayed like this before, especially by someone he was madly in love with, and it hurt like hell.

“Jungkookie,” Jimin’s soft voice came from behind him. His arms wrapped around his younger brother and pulled him in for a hug. “Let it all out. That’s it.”

“She’s gone.” Jungkook wailed. “I didn’t think she’d actually leave. I thought she’d still be here when we came back. I thought we’d argue but sort it out. I wanted her to be here, Hyung.”

“I know, buddy. I know.”

“But she left.”

“She had no choice.” Taehyung replied, just as emotional as Jungkook. “It was stay for us or get deported for good. At least now she has the option to come back.”

Hobi, “Don’t tell him that, Tae. You’ll get his hopes up.”

“But she can.”

“But she won’t.”

Namjoon, “He’s right, Tae. She’s been told to stay away, and it’s in our best interest she does. The company has a big enough fight on their hands to dispute what the media have been saying about us. We can’t have another slip up – and that means any woman we’re seen with is going to be suspected of prostituting herself out again. She can’t come back.”

Jungkook sniffed. “Don’t call her that.”

“What?”

“She’s not a prostitute.”

Jimin, “No, Kookie. She was our girlfriend. We know that. But the rest of the world doesn’t. They just see that she was contracted to do those things with us. They don’t understand it.”

Jungkook wept again. “Why would she do this to us, Hyung? I thought she loved us.”

“She does.”

“Then why?”

“I… I still don’t think she did.”

Jin, “Jimin-ah.”

“What? It makes absolutely no sense. She was mad about us. We all know it. We all felt it.”

Namjoon had started to take on a warning tone. “Jimin.”

“She was there for us right from the start. Two years of her life she gave to us. She was in it for the long haul.”

“Jimin-ah, stop.”

“Fuck, if polygamy was legal she would have married us in a heartbeat. It makes no sense that she would do something like this.”

“Jimin! That’s enough! Our entire private life is out there and she’s the only one who knew the sordid details. She may have loved us, she may not have. That’s irrelevant. What we do know is that she sold us out and doesn’t regret a single thing.”

“I’m with Jiminie on this one, Namjoon-ah.” Yoongi piped in. “She would have killed for us. And think about this objectively, even if she did love us she was paid handsomely for taking on extra responsibilities. No newspaper would pay her that amount of money to top what she was already earning. She washed Hyung’s underwear for fuck sake, made sure me, you and Hobi ate on a daily basis. She took Jungkook’s virginity. No one who would do all that would sell us out to the highest bidder. She was in it for life. And we pushed her away at the first sign of trouble. Who the fuck are we if we’re going to turn on someone we adored just like that? At the click of a finger. If we’re going to do that and not fight for her, then we’re undeserving of everything we’ve accomplished.” Yoongi turned to walk away. “Just a little food for thought.”

Hoseok sunk into the couch and rubbed his hands in his face. “What have we done?”

Jin, “What we needed to.”

“W-when all this blows over,” Jungkook asked, still flooded with tears, “promise me we’ll get her back.” His request was met with silence. “Hyungs, promise me!”

Jimin, “I promise we’ll fight for her, Kookie. But I can’t promise she’ll come back.”

Jungkook nodded.

“You’re all fucking mad.” Namjoon responded. “I can’t just roll over and trust she didn’t do it.”

“If we found who did,” Jin suggested, “would you trust her again?”

Namjoon hesitated. “I guess.”

You hadn’t left your childhood bedroom in days. It had gotten to the point where it had begun to smell of everything your body had removed from your system with the exception of everything deposited into the toilet. Your curtains hadn’t opened since you closed them to go to sleep. You hadn’t opened the door for anyone, nor did you eat. Since returning home you felt sick, you were sick all the time. You couldn’t face food, let alone people. It was only your trips to the bathroom that got you out of that room. You were unable to count how many days you holed yourself in for, you just knew that you’d spent hours upon hours wallowing in self-pity and self-hatred. You didn’t actively go to the reporters, but if you hadn’t agreed to this fucking contract you’d be spending another year in Seoul with seven men you loved with your entire being.

This was tougher than anyone could understand. You had just left a relationship, but you had seven breakups all rolled into one which was why it was so tough for you to lift your head up. You couldn’t really tell your family what was going on, simply because how could you? “Mum, I broke up with my seven boyfriends who I was contracted to fuck on a regular basis because they didn’t have the time to go out and bone some random chick whenever they felt like it.” She’d never let you out of the house again. You’d never be able to leave the country again… or go back home to Korea. Because that’s what it was to you. It didn’t matter that you didn’t grow up there, that Korean was a second language or that you weren’t an official citizen like your friends, it was still your home. It was the only place you felt like you belonged.

And you couldn’t see yourself going back there ever again.

Six of the boys were able to fake smiles in public, because that was what they were expected to do, but Jungkook couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t even pretend to be happy, he was just so miserable. He’d be holed up in his lonely room like you if he didn’t have the guys to force him into the real world. He got up, barely did his job then went back to bed again, praying a day would come when he felt good again. But without you, he wasn’t likely to. Even before you started dating you were a big part in his life, and he missed you like hell.

The investigative team, as they liked to call themselves, was Jimin, Jin, and Tae, and that was mainly because they had the most time out of all of them to be able to figure this thing out and get to the bottom of it before it was too late.

Tae had tasked himself with asking around Big Hit to see if they had heard anything about it. But, no one had.

The three of them met up in the lobby of the Big Hit building and, using the address Jimin had persuaded Eunjae to give him, the three of them covered their faces got in a cab, and headed to Gangnam where Junwook was currently living. The apartment was in the wrong side of Gangnam, a place where none of them felt particularly comfortable in. And, when they got to the door to the apartment building, they stopped and stared at each other.

“What now?” Taehyung asked.

Jimin, “I suppose we knock.”

Jin, “Yeah but he’s not going to answer the door if he knows who we are, is he?”

Taehyung, “I have an idea, move over.” Taehyung pressed the buzzer on the doorbell, and stared at the speaker in anticipation, waiting for the person on the other end to pick up.

“Hello?” Came a crackly voice.

“Annyeonghaseyo, I have your pizza, sir. Stuffed crust, extra pepperoni?”

Jimin and Jin exchanged looks, before bursting out into silent laughter at Taehyung’s plan, hitting each other in hysterics as a confused man on the other line disputed Tae’s pizza scenario.

“I didn’t order a pizza, you’ve got the wrong apartment.”

“Yoon Junwook-ssi?”

“Yes.”

“This is your pizza, sir.”

“I didn’t order anything!”

“You might have to come down and talk about this, sir. Because according to me this is yours.”

Junwook sighed and hung up the phone, leaving the three at the bottom to wonder if he’d given up or if he was coming down to sort the situation out. Their questions were answered, however, when the front gate opened, revealing a stunned Junwook in the process.

“Hello, Junwook-ssi.” Jimin began. “I think we need to talk, don’t you?”

“___, honey?” Your mum’s voice sounded from the other side of the closed door, muffled by the wood that separated you both. When you didn’t respond, she opened the door and sat herself down on your bed. “Why didn’t you tell me about your friends?”

“What friends?”

“The ones you were doing the makeup for?”

Your eyes widened. How could she know? The story hadn’t left Korea right? “How do you know about that?”

“Well, aside from the fact that it’s everywhere…”

“Oh God!”

“There’s a man downstairs, he wants to speak to you.”

“What? Who is he?”

“Says he works for Big Hit? I don’t know, the name sounded familiar so I let him in.”

“Mum!”

You ran downstairs to, lo and behold, find a man sat in your living room, a charming look about him. As soon as he saw you, he smiled, stood and held out a hand. He could obviously smell you because his once peaceful expression turned into one of disgust. “Hello, Miss _____, I’m Andrew Thomas from Celeb World. I made an appointment with your mum a few days ago. She said it was good for me to come and interview you?”

“No. No, no, no! Get out!” You grabbed his shoulders and all but threw him out of your house, turning to your mother in a rage. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Excuse me?”

“That man you made an appointment with works for a gossip magazine! He wanted to come and ask me questions about the seven men I was sleeping with! Happy now? I’ve told you. There.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“You heard me!” Your stomach started to churn. “Move, or I’ll throw up on you.”

“I didn’t do it.” Junwook explained. He was surprisingly calm for someone who trashed an entire office a few weeks ago.

“Well who else would have?” Jimin asked. “You have a motive, for sure.”

“Believe me, kid, if I wanted to go to the media about Big Hit I wouldn’t be dragging your names into it.

“So then, if it wasn’t you, who else could it have been?” Tae asked.

“You’re not the only group to be fucking the same person. It’s common knowledge in the music industry that you lot hire people for that shit. I can’t think of a single band who doesn’t have one, and neither can you.”

Jin, “Dreamcatcher.”

Junwook, “What?”

Jin, “Dreamcatcher don’t have one.”

Junwook shook his head. “Anyway, the entire idol population knows you had a shared girl, it could have been anyone. If I was you, I’d start looking at ex-girlfriends, any enemies you may have etc.”

Taehyung looked at Jimin. “It wouldn’t be Jeongyeon would it?”

Jimin shook his head. “Nah, she’s got a man of her own now, she wouldn’t stir shit up for the fun of it. She’s a bitch but she’s not that bad.”

After the boys apologised, they bowed and left Junwook alone, stopping outside his apartment to discuss their next move. They didn’t really have one. They didn’t know who exactly would want to do something like this. They kept themselves to themselves mostly, never misbehaved. They don’t know why anyone would want to do something like this. So, it was back to square one.

They arrived at the apartment and kicked their shoes off in defeat. They were heading down the passageway when a shrill voice stopped them in their tracks.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

Jimin sighed. “Park Dahee. I wondered how long it would take the snake to show up. How did you get in?”

“Jungkook let me in, also, fuck you, Jimin.”

“Why are you here, Dahee? You gonna sell another story on us like you did on our friends?”

“First of all, that was my sister. Second of all, despite the fact that I don’t know what she sees in you, she still absolutely loves you so, no. I wouldn’t hurt her like that. Having been through it myself. Third of all, I didn’t sell your fucking story to the press. I get enough money without having to stoop that low. Fourth, am I the only one who checks social media?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Taehyung asked.

“I’m glad you asked, ___’s gone back to her parent’s house.”

Jin, “For how long?”

“Thanks to you assholes, she’s not coming back.”

“What?” Jungkook’s voice was small and weak, but it drew everyone’s attention to him. His bottom lip trembled, making him look like a small child. Everyone’s heart sank looking at him. His messy, unwashed hair, his swollen, red eyes. He’d only just stopped crying again. But he was about to start once more. Jin ran over to his brother to catch him before he fell, and wiped the tears away.

Dahee sighed. “Well, she doesn’t intend on coming back. But I know she’s so fucking whipped for you lot she’ll come back if you ask her to.”

“Why did you do it, Dahee?” Jimin asked. “Why’d you sell us out?”

“You seem so sure it was me.”

“You were the only person she spoke to.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But it seems to be a popular trait among men to kiss and tell.”

“What?”

“One of you spoke to a friend, who spoke to a friend, who spoke to a friend. You wanna know who really sold you out?” Dahee pulled her phone out and pulled up a logo that the boys would recognise instantly.

YG Entertainment.

[talesofhavekostca-blog]

OPERATION: STRAWBERRY PUSSY BLAST

Jack Burroughs

January, 3rd 2015

Havekost, CA

“Cuthbert The Carnivorous Cunt-Louse did it again.”, said Jake while opening the trunk of his warhorse, showing me the large bag of marijuana. It is a clear five-gallon garbage bag. Inside were smaller bags of weighed out weed. Anywhere from ounces to dime bags.

“My God, I’ve never seen so much weed in one place before.” I say before looking around the school parking lot,” How did you fit it into your car, Jake?”

“Easy, gumption and my ever-growing need to make that money, Jack”

“Yeah, but aren’t you super-rich?”

“Bitch I’m gonna be richer than that.” He laughs and hands me an ounce. “Here, this is for letting you leave the concert while you were tripping. I’m really sorry we lost you, man, but I ended up hooking up with twins. You know the Breenes?”

“Wait, aren’t they a brother and sister?”

“Jack, did you forget I was bi?”

I pause and go,” I guess it has been a while since I saw you making out with some jock.”

“Ahh yes, the good ole’ days. Anyway, while you were tripping balls with furries, I was getting it on. I’m, again, sorry Jesus and I lost track of you.”

I light up a cigarette and shrug, “So what if I lost my girlfriend and ended up stranded in a diner for several hours and was taped by the local news helicopter taking a piss in the woods while a furry orgy happened behind me. It’s cool that you let me walk off with a homeless man while you and Jesus did random shit.”

“You sound bitter, Jack.” He smiles and hands me another ounce. “Are you still grounded?”

“OF COURSE I AM, THIS JUST HAPPENED A WEEK AGO. My grandparents saw me on the news and now they think I like people in animal costumes! “

“Well...This is something you can tell your grandkids, at least.”

“...I guess.” I look at the weed in my hands and I open the bag and I smell it. “Oh my god. This smells amazing, what is this?”

“Oh, get this, it's called ‘Strawberry Pussy Blast’.”

“What? No way, that’s fucking great.” We laugh and I throw down my spent cigarette and we head to class. I hide the two ounces in my bag, which I then hide in my locker.

***

First-class of the day and its Mr. Perry’s Homeroom class and I’m doodling and everyone is still looking over and snickering at me. The kid next to me, Clarence, has his shirt over his nose due to my smoking and I feel bad as he’s nice but on the other hand I just want to tell him to quit being such a pussy.

Mr. Perry is sitting at his desk, reading a book about superheroes during the war. He thoughtfully strokes his beard and sips his coffee. He is my Arch-Nemesis. Well, besides Anxiety, Depression, my seeming forever-virginity and I guess my addiction to Shirley Temples.   I have pranked Perry so many times, as of this moment I have tied him to a chair, crashed his birthday party that his wife threw and kidnapped him for a better grade and we ended up bonding over history and goth music. He didn’t press charges because I accidentally helped him get out of a dinner with his in-laws, you know, because he was in my attic.

Jake is behind me doodling as well and I look over occasionally and I see that he’s drawing The Masked Avengement, who is some guy who’s running around the city, claiming he’s a superhero but apparently he’s been fighting random homeless people on video for money. His ‘sidekick’ Owly is even worse, I hear he sells PCP to girl scouts. These guys are our local legends and I’ve seen a kid dressed up as Owly, and I fucking laughed.

The intercom squelches and whines, “Jake Stone and Jack Burroughs, to the principal’s office. Jake Stone and Jack Burroughs, to the principal's office.” 

Perry looks up and makes eye contact with me and points to the door and I pull Jake’s arm for him to come with and he whines saying, “But I haven’t finished the crack pipe!”

***

 When we walk inside, The Principal is waiting for us. He looks grandfatherly, but like, the kind of grandfather that used to be a nazi and probably molests himself while dressed as a clown.  “Ah, gentlemen, I've been waiting for you. Please have a seat.” 

We do and after a few seconds, he gets up and opens the closet. He pulls out the five-gallon clear bag of weed Jake had in his car.

Oh shit.

“DID YOU BREAK INTO MY CAR?!”

“No, Bruce the security guard did after he saw you hand Mr. Burroughs some weed.” 

He opens the bag and takes out a dime bag and sits back down at his desk. He then opens a drawer and pulls out a bong that is shiny and orange. He fills it up with water and weed and takes a hit. He coughs while blowing out smoke. He then presses an intercom button and says, “Ms. Abner will you come in here. I have some chronic.” and she says, “Yes sir, right away.” and comes into the office and Ms. Abner looks like the kind of lady who’d play the organ at church, but badly, and would leave her estate to her cats. She takes a hit and coughs and she says “Oh, oh my.” and coughs some more and the Principal says “Quit being a bitch, Martha.” 

Jake and I are surprised and uncomfortable. He takes another hit and says, “This weed is so good, I might not expel you from school. Now listen clearly, you can keep the two ounces you have in your locker, Mr. Burroughs. You two have bought our new computer lab with this...donation if you will.”

“Wait, you’re selling weed for the school?” I say, still in shock.

“Well, we have to get funding somehow. So for the last decade, we take the weed stupid kids as yourself bring to school to sell and sell it ourselves. It's pretty brilliant. Wouldn’t you agree, Ms. Abner?”

“Yes, sir,” Ms.Abner says while opening a bag of Cheetos and eating some. Her eyes are red. 

“YOU BASTARDS WILL PAY!” Jake roars and I hold him back and The Principal just smiles and laughs and then asks, “Burroughs, what is this strain called?”

I tell him before leaving as I pull Jake away, “Strawberry Pussy Blast.”

I hear nothing but laughter as we walk away.

***

Jake and I are in front of the Principal’s house, the lights are off and I’m nervous and Jake is applying war paint on his face and I’m cold. Its 10PM and I’m not supposed to be outside. 

“What’s the gameplan, Jake?”

“We’re going to find dirt on this bastard, anything.”

We check the backdoor and its unlocked. We go inside and the house smells like old hard candy and cat litter and clown makeup. We search high and low but find nothing. I find old playboys, handcuffs, zip ties and superglue in a bag but that’s it.

Then we hear noises from the basement. Jake looks at me and I shrug and we walk to the door and the noises get louder and I can tell there are at least two people downstairs. 

We tiptoe down quietly and we hide behind old newspapers and a dresser, and from we are standing we can see the Principal in Mormon underwear, tied to a rack while Ms.Abner is dressed as a nazi, whipping him and I’m not even a little surprised.

Well, I’m surprised he doesn’t have makeup on.

Jake starts filming on his phone and Ms. Abner really goes to town on The Principal. She screams at him in German and he’s crying saying he’s been a good boy and after a particularly brutal slap, he pisses himself and I stifle a giggle.  Ms. Abner then grabs a bucket of ice-cream and pulls out a handful and rubs it all over the Principal’s face. He keeps screaming between bites and breaths, “Thank you, Mommy, thank you, Mommy. Gimme More.”

I fucking die at this point and Ms.Abner looks behind her and sees Jake and I. Ms. Abner faints and falls over and I laugh harder.

“What are you boys doing?!” The Principal is shocked and ashamed and is trying to get out of his ties but he’s stuck and helpless.

“Mr. Principal, I see we meet again. Now, I know you’re doing a good service. But you stole what is rightfully mine. If you don’t tell me where the weed is, I will ruin you. Do you understand?” Jake holds up his phone and plays the video. The Principal is crying and he keeps apologizing and says the weed is in the closet, by the clown costume. 

I FUCKING KNEW IT.

We grab the weed and leave him on the rack. Ms. Abner, still very much asleep and looking the most peaceful a woman dressed as a nazi can be, murmurs random things. We leave the house and Jake posts the video to the internet later. It goes viral on shock sites by the morning. The next day at class, we see that the Principal and Ms. Abner have been fired and everybody's watching the video and laughing.

Jake turns to me and says “Operation: Strawberry Pussy Blast was a success!” as we sit down in class. Perry looks up and looks at us and Jake winks and shoots him a few times with finger guns.

 No teacher bothers us again for the rest of the year.

[matohasshittaste]

Paws instead of dust 2/? (EN)

Sorry for the delay... I’ve been suffering anxiety and depression these days and I can’t go to the computer unless it’s to study... 

Please do remember that I don’t own these pets, they’re @owosa ‘s pets. 

Bye.

Sans was sitting at the table in his room, pencil in hand, lost eyes and thousands of thoughts in his head. His two new pets were sleeping on a makeshift bed that Sans had made with old sheets and a couple of cushions covered and placed on the sides so that the pets could sleep as they wanted. He could have given them more comfort by giving them the old sheets from when he was a young (and great) skeleton, however NOBODY was going to touch his blankets of cars and rockets . They were well guarded in a place where nobody could ever find them ... That is, under his pillow. At the moment the slaves did not seem to complain about their new home, the dog was asleep with his tongue out while the rabbit used the dog as a bed.

 As long as they did not bother him, Sans could keep thinking ... Food. Bed. Medicines. Entertainment. It is true that Sans never had pets (except for his brother, of course), it was difficult for him to understand what they required to live. He was very new to that, but he was so hollow-headed that he was not going to allow two lives as simple and minor as those two to be finished. Now they belonged to him. Therefore, he had to show that he was the best at taking care of any two animals. Although for many, belonging to Sans was a torture rather than a blessing ... The small skeleton did not see it that way. He was so proud that he was even capable of facing himself in order to win.

 And that meant facing a whole town that was looking for EXP easily and for free.

 Look, another problem to add to the list: security.

 He had to write it, noticing then that his pencil had the end too bitten because of Sans thinking about his things while his hyperactivity was out of control. He growled, dropping his pencil, thinking of possibilities while looking at the ceiling. Should be easy to take care of animals, however it was not. If he already had to deal with a useless brother, two slaves would be more of the same. But at least these did not leave underwear on the floor, nor did the house smell of tobacco (and other things). Although it should be noted that his room smelled like a wet dog because he had recently been bathed, and since they did not have a hair dryer because they were skeletons, Sans put a warm blanket on the animals, changing them every so often so they would not get sick. He seemed to have done well ... But that led to discover that the dog was VERY thin, and his fur hid it masterfully. Therefore the word food was underlined, because the dog needed to eat more. And because of that, he did not cut the dog’s hair, to keep hiding that thinness, and keep it warm in his home.

 It was very good to think about that, but now he had to consider how to get everything he needed. Maybe in some store ...? But would there be things for pets? He had no idea. But staying still was not going to solve anything. And he hated sitting for a long time. So after deciding that it was time to go for a walk around Snowdin, he proceeded to get up. Hopefully the store near his house would be open. After taking his gloves and his scarf he gave one last look at the pets. They were asleep. If they were blind in the right eye, he would ensure that they were his brother's children, just as lazy ...

 -I'LL BE OUT FOR A WHILE. YOU ARE GOING TO STAY IN THE HALL WITH MY BROTHER. YOU'RE GOING TO BE GOOD OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO PAPYRUS’ ROOM.

 He obviously threatened to go to the most disgusting room in the house: his brother's. Or at least for Sans, of course. The thing is that he took the slaves in his arms, which only one complained, clearly the rabbit, while the dog took that as an invitation to the affection that ended in an unwanted lick in the face of the skeleton, who almost threw the pets to the ground for that.

 -DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN. IT'S DISGUSTING.

 He said, since it was well known that this skeleton did not appreciate affection. The dog just lowered its head, to which the rodent ended up grumbling. He did not seem to like anything , or rather nothing that had to do with giving the dog a goose bump.

 Ignoring that, Sans went down to the living room, carefully so that his pets did not have an unfortunate fall, being warned by his brother, who watched television in his underwear AGAIN. Disgusting useless.

 -YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THESE TWO WHILE I GO OUT. IT WILL BE SHORT.

 -no thanks.

 -I WAS NOT ASKING.

 - being both an obligation and a request, i refuse. they are not my pets, i already said it. and soon you'll get tired of them, i do not care what happens to them.

 Papyrus kept being A BIT negative with the theme of pets. For him they were only more expenses for the house. As if there were not enough already. But unfortunately Sans had a complex of spoiled even when Papyrus few things gave him in his life, so when he left the animals on the floor, next to the couch, he kept talking.

 -I'll NOT GET TIRED OF THEM, NOW THEY ARE OF MY PROPERTY, AND I HAVE MANY PLANS FOR THOSE TWO. SO JUST TRY NOT TO LET THEM DIE OR BREAK SOMETHING. AS WELL AS YOU WATCH TELEVISION ALL DAY WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING YOU CAN AND WILL LOOK AT TWO ANIMALS. THEY ARE EXHAUSTED SO THEY WILL SLEEP FOR A LONG TIME.

 -obviusly, you've bathed them.

 Papyrus hated the bathrooms. His foul odor was a clear warning of that. Sans narrowed his eyes, but once he checked in a quick glance that nothing in the house could be an escape for the animals, he let it be.

 - STOP CRYING LIKE A BABY FOR EVERYTHING. I WILL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

 -pffft, it's you who cries for everything and for nothing in reality.

 Whispered Papyrus to himself. Sans put his hands in jar position.

 -WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

 -yeeeees, i'll be watching them. but if i fall asleep it's not my problem.

 -WELL, AT LEAST YOU HAVE TWO NEW COMPANIONS THAT SLEEP LIKE YOU. THE LAZY FAMILY.

 Although Sans had planned to train that dog to become the most fearsome of all the underground. It would be so strong that no one would dare to question Sans! Clearly that was something he dreamed, not that it was going to become real.

 Once the small skeleton made sure that everything was in order he proceeded to leave the house, facing the cruel snow of Snowdin who welcomed the flogging skeleton clothes, seeking to freeze him, but being a skeleton couldn’t. The skeleton closed the door, looking both ways to make sure there was nothing suspicious nearby. Nothing. Everything was quiet, or at least what was considered as quiet in that world, which was basically no wild revolt.

 He made his way to the nearest store there was: Doggo's house. He arrived at the shop shortly after walking, where he opened the door slamming it with his chest inflated and superior, as he always did to attract attention. He liked to make impactful entrances ... Ironic considering his height, but if someone came to comment on that, Sans ended up killing the subject who dared to say that.

 -Ugh, you again?

 Doggo said, lowering the magazine that he had to keep in constant motion to read, while smoking a bone for dogs. How was he able to smoke a bone? Magic. But Sans, just seeing the dog, smiled victoriously, because he realized that there he had answers for many questions that had been formulating at home. Doggo narrowed his eyes, watching Sans always move as he watched what the store offered. All under a yellow plastic to not be stolen without the dog noticing, of course. But the dog suspected the skeleton for other reasons.

 -I paid my taxes two days ago. I have ... five left?

 He said raising an eyebrow. The client shook his head.

 -I’M HERE TO ASK QUESTIONS.

 That, in that world, was never good news.

 - Come now ... I'm not a snitch. I'm sorry but from this snout I'm not going to drop any bones.

 Distrustful as always. Sans let him be.

 -YES. I KNOW IT VERY WELL. BUT I WANT TO ASK YOU THINGS ABOUT YOU ... AS A DOG. YOU KNOW.

 -Explain yourself.

 -WHAT DO YOU EAT BEING A DOG?

 -Things of dogs. Anything else?

 Sans clenched a fist at that answer SO OBVIOUS. But he had to restrain himself. For his sake and for that of the pet.

 -THIS IS ... TOO OBVIOUS. AND I NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING MORE SPECIFIC. MEAT, VEGETABLES, FRUITS. THOSE THINGS.

 -Are you going to manage what we eat? Are you so desperate to control us that you even resort to food? To another dog with that bone.

 -NO, NOTHING OF THAT. THIS CONVERSATION IS CONFIDENTIAL. I ONLY NEED TO KNOW IT FOR PERSONAL REASONS.

 Doggo smiled wickedly, moving his smoked bone to the other side of his mouth, leaving the magazine to focus directly on Sans, leaning forward to see it better.

 - Do you have a kidnapped dog or something? Come on, say it, I'll be a good boy and I will not tell anyone. I just want to entertain myself with something.

 Sans did not know how to continue. That dog longed to have a valid explanation about the reason for the questions. And staying a few seconds still, thinking, in the end he had to resort to a plan that he hated with all his soul, but seeing the circumstances there was no other choice ...

 "YOU DO IT FOR THE DOG, GREAT, MAGNIFICENT AND TERRORIFIC SANS. AS SOON AS YOU DO IT, THE BETTER ".

 The skeleton inhaled deeply, closing his eyes ... And then he raised a hand quickly, directing it towards the dog, who raised his eyebrows alerted, thinking that he was going to attack him. The fight was about to begin ...

 But the victory was clear from the beginning. Well, Sans did caress the dog. A few caresses with the tip of his bony fingers on the head of the dog, which only remained with eyes wide open for a few seconds, but as Sans caressed, the dog leaned towards those affections that were his great weakness. Slowly the dog was looking for the perfect position to be scratched: with the head lying on its objects to sell and with the skull to the side, allowing Sans to reach the ears, the neck, and so, slowly but surely the skeleton knew that already there would be no questions, no suspicion.

 The loyalty of that dog was easily earned with pampering.

 - WHAT DO DOGS EAT?

 -Hmmmeat ... Fi-fis... (uh, there, there, ahhh ~~~ yes ...) Fish ... Hmmm ~ rice too ...

 -ANYTHING ELSE?

 -We like ... carrots ... pears ... grrr, bananas ...

 - AND WHAT YOU CAN NOT EAT UNDER ANY CONCEPT?

 -Grrrapes, Can ~ dy, choco-chocolate ... Beer less! But I take it anyway hehehe ... Onions, garlic ...

 -GOOD GUY.

 - Very good b-boy?

 - VERY GOOD, NO DOUBT. AND WHAT DO YOU DO TO BE ENTERTAINED?

 -Bite things. Ropes in ssspecial ... Pursue others ... But that changes ac-according to the doooog. I love caresses, I love them! I love them with all my being! Give me more!

 Although that seemed reasonable, Sans did not seem to believe that the dog adopted was just to run, but to receive affection from the one who appreciated. During the short time he had him, he had dedicated himself to being in a corner with the rabbit, little else. Maybe because of fear? Who knows. He should find out eventually.

 -AND HOW DO YOU BATH? CAN YOU AVOID THAT ODOR TO WET DOG IF YOU DID BATH?

 -Sham-p-p-oooo special for dogs, I sell here some ev-ven ... And no! I hate fragrance, I never use them!

 While they talked, the dog had changed position, and literally on the table, he was turning around so that the other monster would scratch his belly. It would be fun if Sans was not solely focused on his goal of obtaining information and memorizing it.

 -MEDICINES? WHAT OF THEM?

 -Undyne, the scientiiific (owowowow so good ...) gives them to us. But they are very expensive.

 -LAST QUESTION. BED?

 -That depends on the dog a-again ... I sleep in a basket! I like baskets. I can bite while I sleep. It is nice. Like this…

 Then Sans stopped, feeling somehow a prostitute for having cared a dog that had enjoyed it too much, so much that he was still in the posture, in such a stupor of pleasure that he was not able to react. Sans wiped his hand with his pants, taking out some coins from his pocket to take two shampoos, depositing the money on the table next to the pooch. He could have stolen it, but he had honor ... Or he thought he had it after what happened.

 -THANKS FOR YOUR HELP. YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD DOG. SO, UNTIL NEXT TIME.

 The dog just wagged his tail in the middle of his enjoyment, without even articulating more words. Sans left the store with the two shampoos under his arm. He had everything he needed practically except for the medicines, which he would surely ask Papyrus to take care of that. He hated having to deal with Undyne, because she somehow put him on nerves ... And something had to be done by his useless brother.

 Thinking that his mission had been a total success, and anxious to erase unpleasant memories of his mind, he went to complete the second mission he had pending: to discover information about rabbits. Luckily that was as easy as talking to the royal guards, who were precisely rabbits, and as he considered himself the leader he could get information right away. Of them or Alphys. It was easy and simple. So, feeling his near victory, he headed towards the surveillance posts, ready to obtain information without doubt ...

 But better without having to resort to the physical. For the sake of your mental health

 01110000 01100001 01010000 01011001 01010010 01010101 01010011 00100000 01010000 01001111 01010110

 Papyrus was lying on the couch, watching television half-lying, one leg in the air and the other leaning on the sofa, his hands behind his head so he could be comfortable watching the television programs, which were mostly trash, but the skeleton just looked for something to keep his eyes and ignore his mind, which always tried to remember all the problems that happened in his life, but mainly in his home.

 In a world immersed in shit like that, the only good thing he had was to keep it at shore ... And even if it was ironic, that only thing of value that he had was his brother. The tall skeleton knew well that his brother was spoiled, impatient and demanding, perhaps even bordering on the psychopath considering his constant need to be above others, to the point of physically hurting. But for Papyrus he was still just a whimsical child ... Well, that's how he had raised him, and he had to endure it until his brother matured. Which he saw impossible. And that always led to his brother committing certain crazy things that the elder brother had to deal with from the shadows without anyone knowing. Maybe that's why everything tasted bitter, everything was lazy throughout the day, because he always had to pick up the shit his brother left behind. And since Sans was very Sans, that was constantly happening.

 In those moments his new adventure included two pets to which he was sure he had brought by force. Purpose? Neither did he know it. He supposed it was a whim like that of wearing armor, an idea taken from a comic book they found in the Waterfall dump looking for things for the house. And, of course, Papyrus now had to take care of those two pets, which he looked at from the corner of his eye from time to time, checking that they had been placed under the table almost broken, without stopping sleeping, or apparently sleeping ...

 Papyrus snorted, sinking deeper into the sofa, which had some broken springs and it showed.

 -i suppose that in a few days i'll have to leave you in the woods, when sans tires of you ... as always.

 He said out loud, rolling the light that was his only functional eye. The other stopped emitting light a long time ago, the reasons were unknown and only the most twisted part of Papyrus's past knew it.

 -until then we are going to have to live together as best as possible. if you want to survive my brother, of course.

 Papyrus already assumed that his brother would throw them away when he got bored, or when they tried to impose him and ended up killing them for insubordination, any possibility was viable. The animals, however, barely noticed, just moving a little in the safe place they had found. But even if Papyrus did a lot of speculation, he did not know how much his brother was trying to keep the pets.

 A little more time passed, with the television showing programs to each more stupid, until Papyrus was a little hungry. To be a skeleton without organs tended to suffer hunger every time, especially if it did not ingest anything magical with what to recover energy. Even skeletons needed to eat ... And when was the last time he ate something? Three days ago? He was so lazy to eat that he could even die of hunger to avoid having to move around a lot, speaking metaphorically, of course.

 Mumbling, he surrendered to the demand of his body, and ended up getting up to go to the kitchen, because he had little magic and he could tell by how his eye did not let him see all that well. He hated having to feed, it was tedious and fucking expensive. At least for a selfish rat like him. But he had to do it. If he left Sans alone in that world, he could never forgive himself. He was the reason why his bones remained united, although he never told his brother and he was always apathetic ...

 When he reached the kitchen he opened the fridge, scratching his tailbone as he knew, observing the little food inside. To save food they always bought what they needed every day, so there was only the essential in the house ... Which did not work. But as always, Sans left a plate of food in the refrigerator covered in clear plastic for when Papyrus deigned to eat. As many times that did not happen, at the end his brother finished having dinner, which was to kill two birds with one stone ...

 Speaking of killing things. When he opened the refrigerator, two heads peered into the kitchen. The rabbit and the dog stared at the skeleton, noticing smells that interested them very quickly. Papyrus noticed that, so he looked at them out of the corner of his eye as he was leaning in the fridge, seeing that dish so supremely appetizing.

 - are you hungry? i could give you something ... hopefully you will get fat and you will be a good feast for when he want to get rid of you.

 He said in a chillingly cold tone, chuckling at his little dark joke. Although for him that was going to be a very close reality. And the idea of eating rodent or dog ... It was tempting. It was meat after all, and when hunger lurked even a rock seemed appetizing. The animals however were not aggressive, just kept staring. The dog sticking out its tongue and the rabbit with half-closed eyes ... But due to the position they were in, Papyrus could assure that the rodent was on top of the dog, as if it were his personal horse. Strange. But he didn’t care.

 -Well, let's see what we have for you that is not harmful ...

 Papyrus, due to his visits to Undyne's laboratory, knew what some creatures ate and what they did not eat. Basically because among the many dirty jobs he had, some were to feed the ... "guests" of Undyne. And the possibility that they were two pets that fled from Undyne's laboratory went through the head of the tall skeleton several times. However, he was not going to deliver them to the scientist. Dying at the hands of skeletons would be better than dying at the hands of a scientist with serious moral problems. It was more dignified, and certainly less painful. Although with a good financial compensation ...

 The question was that Sans could have gathered information in a quick and simple way, which was asking his brother, but Papyrus never showed signs of knowing about those things. If he did not even know how to take care of himself, how the hell would he know how to take care of others? It was easy to think like that. And Sans sinned not to ask his brother, who would also have offered to help, but if his brother got things for himself he was in a better mood, and that was good, both for his self-esteem and Papyrus's migraines.

 The skeleton took Sans's plate out of the fridge. Stuffed burritos. For a long time he did them with everything he found, and with everything it means EVERYTHING. Earth, stones, flowers ... Once he even dared to bring garbage. After several days of unstable magic due to the intoxication with magical food, Sans learned to take care of what he was taking, and little by little he learned to cook better ... Although burritos were the only dish they managed to make. And since the vegetables were much cheaper than the meat, there was a plate of burritos with crushed vegetables and homemade salsa ready to be heated and eaten. Vegetables ... That was good. Not for him, of course.

 - In short, with this you can survive, I guess.

 The skeleton said, taking out the plate with no intention to heat it. It did not matter if it was hot or not, but the pets could feel dislike of the hot, so he decided to remove the clear plastic and go to the living room, where it was forbidden to eat but it did not care. The animals - actually the dog - followed him attentively, raising their snout, and in the case of the dog, wagging his tail slightly happy. Papyrus sat down, opening the burrito to see the food inside. And they were precisely perfect for pets.

 -lool, if poverty sometimes brings something good, hahaha.

 Mocking his own situation with acid humor, he took a first bite to check that it was good. A bit hard, because Sans had to perfect things, but it was edible. It was not considered a delicacy but it could be eaten.

 -u arg lugy gag gis is ogay.

 He was never a skeleton of refined manners, so after swallowing, he took out a piece of vegetables for each pet, throwing them to the ground where they were supposed to catch it. First the rabbit, which picked the food carefully, sniffing it and then proceeding to give small bites, distrustful, but in the end sure that it was good. Papyrus raised an eyebrow at that attitude. Maybe they tried to poison them some time? The dog in turn wanted to accept food by opening its jaws, however, seeing that it fell to the ground whimpered a bit, but ended up having to take it directly from the ground. After a few seconds of tasting he looked at the dog and made a strange gesture with his head. The dog then accepted the piece of vegetables, so happy that even his tail swept the ground gently. Papyrus narrowed his eyes with a drop falling on his forehead. Was it his impression or had the dog asked for permission ...?

 He shook his head, ignoring that fact, thinking they were just mere pets. Simple extra expenses for the house.

 The animals took very little time to eat, practically once they found that it was in a decent state (not extremely fresh but edible) they gave only two pieces to eat it. The dog seemed happy with that, but the rabbit ... The rodent continued to stare at Papyrus, who had already taken another bite of his burrito. As he felt the constant pressure of being watched, he directed his gaze to the rabbit's, which rose on its two legs sniffing.

 -do you want more?

 The rodent did not respond, it was obvious that he was not going to do it. It was an animal.

 - well, pay the rent.

 And he kept eating, watching TV almost on the verge of falling apart.

 The rabbit, seeing that the food was disappearing, looked at his companion, who returned his gaze moving his tail happier than usual. The white-furred animal made a gesture, a simple tug at his own ear, and the dog instantly responded by tilting his head. The rabbit continued to incite the dog to do strange things, catching Papyrus' attention just as the dog was already lying on the ground with his belly directed at the ceiling. The skeleton raised its eyebrow, thinking that innocently it wanted to play. Would he have to bother stroking his gut ...? It was not within his duties dictated by Sans. However, the dog insisted much more, staring at the rodent and the skeleton, looking desperate for affection.

 -i wish you knew how to play dead ...

 He whispered as he sighed, bending down so that this heavy dog would stop doing stupid things. He scratched a few seconds the dog's gut, with the plate still holding a couple of pieces that were missing the skeleton to eat. The dog moved its paw, twisting in taste, in such complete pleasure that it even closed its eyes with its tongue half out on one side. Papyrus rethought if that really gave him so much pleasure. But it was a can. Doggo had to have an insane taste for receiving cares ... And while scratching it he noticed the extreme thinness of the dog, which surprised the monster. Up to what levels of famine should a creature arrive to end up like this ...? It was similar to Papyrus, only that the bones could be seen from the skeleton due to its skeletal monster condition, but no creature should be like that animal ...

 -heh, I think we're both in the bones.

 But as soon as he released that joke he realized that he had let down his guard for a few seconds, which was strictly forbidden in that world. He left the caresses suddenly, leaving the dog in the same position, dazed and craving more. The monster did not say anything else about it, watching television.

 "if you love someone, it will hurt more when you lose it," he told himself daily. To avoid those harmful feelings, he turned to alcohol and ignored them for long hours. He was good at running away from his own feelings. So he decided to flee with the electronic device, ready to continue his burrito to end the meal, not caring that it was the same hand with which he caressed the dog ...

 But his fingers touched the plate directly, without finding any piece of food. The skeleton looked scared the plate, discovering that there was only a tiny piece of the burrito's wrapper. What the fu-

 Crunch, crunch.

 The lights of their basins were diverted to a corner, the one that was right next to the table, verifying that in it the rabbit was nibbling food with an air of tremendous pride. The rabbit, upon seeing it, laughed. LAUGHED PROUD. Papyrus could not believe it. But it was clear that he was not going to leave it like that.

 -damned elusive rat, give me my food!

 Pulling the plate to the sofa, he got up to go for the rodent. The aforementioned immediately placed almost all the food in his mouth, remaining with the inflated cheeks, proceeding to jump where he was going. Papyrus had not yet eaten well so his reserve of magic was low, forcing him to have to move to catch the elusive animal, which instantly went near the walls to hide behind the few objects that the house kept in a more deteriorated that decent.

 - come here, scum!

 But the rabbit decided to play with him, jumping then by the TV cabinet, the table, a bedside table, the couch, without changing rooms ... He was mocking the skeleton and both knew it very well. While the dog observed that lying on the ground, fun, the police and the thief began to break everything in the house looking for each his own goal. Papyrus tried to catch the rabbit as well as he could, but the animal was too cunning, so much that he even put objects in the middle so that the skeleton would stumble.

 -i'll catch you, i'll hang you with the rope!

 He said, tired of the situation, however during that long time of search and capture the skeleton gave a hug to the wall, his skull came in contact with various objects, and there was even a time when he tried to throw his arm to hit to the rabbit but in the end he ended up throwing his arm out the window. Papyrus then relived those moments when Sans was a baby and was running away with something in his mouth, having his brother to chase him for a long time until he found him asleep or demanding something else ...

 It was back in the old days, but now that bag of broken bones was not as patient as before.

 Nor so energetic.

 By the time Sans got home, he found the hall smashed, an exhausted Papyrus on the couch, and two pets on top of him watching television. It took several seconds for Sans to understand what had happened ... Although the final conclusion that clearly said that Papyrus had lost was present throughout the room.

 -WHAT ... THE HELL HAPPENED.

 - ... you have not brought pets ... you have brought two demons ...

 -PFFFT, TWO MERE PETS HAVE DEFEATED YOU? I BELIEVED YOU MORE INTELIGENT THAN THEM.

 -shut up, sans.

 But the minor skeleton found that very funny. In the end having brought the pets had been a good idea, just because they annoyed the useless of his brother. And even if he considered himself the only one with the power of that, he could allow those two to share such a funny hobby. And seeing how his brother was doing, the sacrifice was worth it.

 -ONE THING…

 He wanted to clarify before even ending that event. The small skeleton inhaled slowly, inflating his nonexistent lungs, while closing his eyes for a couple of seconds.

 -CLEAN THIS NOW GROUP OF GOOD FOR NOTHING !!!

 He shouted in such a way that the three pets of the house jumped off the couch, either because of the fright or by the force of the cry itself, falling inevitably from the couch, but without any injuries. It's true that Sans could laugh at that situation, but his house was a mess, and it would be better for those three to fix it, even if two of them did not even have thumbs to grab things.

 At least all four were on good terms -ignoring Sans' anger-. And that peace could be maintained if the four put on their side ... They could get it. That's what Sans was sure of. And he could bet all the bones of his body on it.

[aquawolfgirl]

31, 78 for Reylo prompt please 😊

31. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!”78. “You weren’t supposed to hearthat.”

Full disclaimer: This got a lot naughtier than I intended. There’s nothing TOO graphic or naughty … just … well, Kylo wearing panties? So if that’s not your thing, I’d look in the tag for something else more innocent. However, if that is your thing, then by all means, proceed! Hope you enjoy!

-

It was all Finn and Poe’s idea. Which explains thehumiliation aspect of it, to be quite honest. Ever since he went from Rey’ssulking, depressed boyfriend Kylo to Rey’s fiancé Ben, they’ve been trying toinvite him out more. Trying being the key word.

Of course, Finn and Poe are great. They were even great backwhen he still went by Kylo, back when he still had demons he was strugglingwith and he was still working at the First Order Publishing Company underSnoke. They helped Rey convince him to quit, to get out of the toxic place andstart fresh. So, in truth, they’ve helped him turn his life around.

They also seem to want to make his life a living Hell.

“I don’t think this is going to work, Rey.”

“Oh, come on, it’s fun!” His fiancée calls from the otherside of the door. “Come on, I already have my makeup on.”

“No, Rey, this is really not a good idea.”

“Please, Ben, at least let me see?”

Letting her see was really, really not a good idea.

Her outfit is fine. The blue and gold embroidered coat hugsher slim figure nicely, the black leggings making her ass look fuckingfantastic. Even the makeup she put on looks nice, dark brown brush strokesmoving in to light and then white strokes, light and flicked to look like fur.Her already cute, pert nose looks even cuter when painted black, and she makesa damn good Beast.

However, judging by her reaction, he’s pretty sure he makesan awful Belle.

“You weren’t supposed to laugh!” he insists, tugging thelittle skirt down in vain.

It’s too late, though. Rey’s already doubled over inlaughter, her hand to her stomach as she tries to contain herself. “That’s whatthey gave you?!”

“Yes, and that’s what they told me I have to wear to earnthe 100 bucks!”

“Wait, wait, lift it up.”

“No!”

“I want to see them!”

“NO!”

“Ben, please!”

“They’re the only part of this outfit I kind of like.”

“Wait, what?”

“… you weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Please, Ben, just let me see?”

On top of the little short, slutty yellow polyester and lacedress Poe and Finn bought for him, they took the time to buy him matchingpanties. Why they knew his exact size, or why they took the time to considerhis size, he doesn’t know. But the panties fit significantly better than thedress itself. He lifts up the skirt, huffing in annoyance as he shows Rey thelacy, butter-yellow panties. One of them must have hot-glued a rosette on thewaistband, because he’s pretty sure they don’t sell Belle-themed underwear madefor men.

“See?” he mutters. Fuck, his cheeks and ears feel likethey’re on fire, and he can’t even look his fiancée in the eyes. He’s going tobe thinking about this as she walks down the aisle, isn’t he? If they even getthat far, now that she knows he actually kind of likes them. “They’re stupid.”

“No, they’re really not.”

She sounds almost breathless, and when he finally looks upat her, he can see Rey’s cheeks pinking beneath the facepaint. “Turn around?”she asks, quietly, almost shyly.

He does as asked, lifting the poofy skirt of the costume upso that she can see the cheeky little butt, his ass barely fitting into thelace.

“Fuck me…”

Of all the reactions he thought he was going to get, thatwas not one of them. He practically yelps as there’s a warm hand on his ass,gripping and groping. A low moan escapes him as he leans back into hisfiancée’s hand, Rey’s lips finding his shoulder where the neckline of the dressdoesn’t cover.

“You like the way they feel?”

She knows him too damn well. “Yeah…”

“I’m going to ask Finn and Poe where they got them, becausewe are definitely ordering you more….”

He doesn’t end up wearing them beneath the dress. One,because the dress doesn’t really cover his ass, and so he ends up wearing blackboxer briefs instead for some sort of modesty. After all, there are going to beother people at the costume party.

And two … well, let’s just say they need a wash. Andpossibly a few stitches. And the rosette needs to be glued back on.

He never knew his fiancée was such a beast.

[sprinklig-kindness-podcast]

Today I want to talk about diamonds, yesterday I watched a documentary on netflix about diamonds, about how they are made and their history, so in this episode I am going to give you my opinion because I feel I need to do it.

First of all diamonds can be put on anything, we know that on rings, necklaces, crowns, earrings, watches, cars, underwear, bags, cell phones, I've seen it on teeth and even a rapper put a diamond on his forehead literally anything that can be covered is covered.

I personally like jewelry, I like what sparkles, I think everyone does because it's pretty.

But personally if I had the access to buy a diamond or have it as in a ring, earrings or a necklace I wouldn't buy it, don't get me wrong I love the way diamonds look I love the comparison between diamond and coal.

I like the look of certain necklaces, earrings, some rings but the real ones are too expensive I prefer a glass ring a thousand times.

We have seen diamonds everywhere since we were kids and we are very related to them, where we look at them a lot is in the movies an example Titanic the necklace that was called the heart of the sea I think.

Today I feel that I need to give my opinion about all this, about the luxurious things, personally I do not want this kind of things, I would not buy diamonds or things with diamonds, first because they are very expensive, Second I would need a bodyguard to take care of me and my house because my god bringing that kind of things with you is like putting a target on your back at any time you can be robbed, kidnapped or killed because the thief does not care about you, I feel that with those amounts of money you can buy many more things and better things for less money.

There are jewels that are made of glass and look identical to a diamond, they are less expensive, I don't know I prefer that, because we only use pretty diamonds and I think it doesn't matter if they are real.

 What struck me most about this documentary was that they talked about the phrase "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" and that phrase was used to sell more diamonds and it worked.

The other point I wanted to talk about this is diamond wedding rings of course they are beautiful, and more than buying a diamond you are buying a moment, a memory, you are forming a tradition, a diamond in a relationship means a lot and all this is thanks to the damn marketing which I am deeply in love with because marketing is able to make you love and want the stupidest things in this world, but that's how marketing, the world and capitalism works, but I don't want to talk about how the world works because at this moment I want to adapt to how the world works instead of criticizing it because I don't have solid criticisms yet.

Personally I feel that I don't need to follow any traditions or form anything since I don't have any family traditions about passing on any jewelry to my son or anything like that, and I don't want to form any traditions either because let's imagine I buy a diamond or a diamond ring and then let's imagine I have a son and he gets married and I give him my ring to give to his future wife or let's imagine they get divorced and my son's ex-wife keeps it or let's imagine they sell it or let's imagine they sell it or no, I'm not going to start a legacy or a tradition, all my evil genes full of depression end up with me.

So this is a message to the future love of my life who wants to propose to me, if I really love you I won't need any jewelry, maybe something that is symbolic of our love, but I don't need something very expensive, and I don't want to do it either.

If there is something I have learned from watching the 150 chapters of TWD 3 times and also watching FTW is that in the end nothing matters, diamonds only cost because we say they do not really, because if the end of the world is tomorrow it is very difficult to save you, because in the end what matters is love.

If you care more about the diamond than the love of that relationship ohh my god you are screwed, because it will probably end in divorce, cheating and more dark moments than beautiful ones, I feel that in a relationship not only diamonds matter, but love is not enough either, because to feel peace and tranquility and to be able to worry about other things, you need to have a certain standard of living, you need to buy your peace, and I don't want to say that money buys love but money is necessary to be happy, without money I was not happy but you don't need to be a millionaire to be happy, it is a very broad topic but yes.

In conclusion if you are the love of my life believe me I will not care how big a diamond I have in my hand, be careful if I take it too much importance because if I do oh god I don't love you.  

[distortmymind]

Distort My Mind - Part 6

.:Watchpoint Gilbraltar:.

At the base is sore and or hurt.

Most of the team stood in bed while Lucio prepared breakfast, Mei and Ana decided to join in.

Jamison awakes to a spray of water in his face.

“Oi!” He shouts. Mako had sprayed him with a water bottle to wake him. “Get up…” He mumbles as he leaves the room to the dining area.

Jamison was much too tired and sore so he plopped back down and fell back asleep.

Mako got his breakfast and sat by himself. He glanced up and could see into Zarya’s room. Mei had brought her breakfast. He couldn’t see her face but he felt relieved that she was alright. She had taken quite the beating, such a young woman. He wondered why wasn’t she careful. He didn’t realize he had zoned out until Ana snapped him out of it.

“Where’s your friend?” She asked him.

“He’s probably still asleep.” Mako grumbled as Ana shook her head. “He’s going to miss breakfast.” She stated as she loaded another plate to take it to Jamison.

Mako sighed and proceeded to eat. Once Ana entered the room, she placed the plate on the night stand and pulled the covers off of Junkrat. “Jamison…” She said nudging him. He yawned and looked up at her.

“Oi, how’d you get in ‘er?” He asked with a bit of confusion. “That’s not important, now you come and eat. You don’t want it to get cold.” She said pulling him out of bed, handing him the plate, Jamison was almost completely naked, Ana helped him dressing up, his body giving up from the moment he had to step out of bed. Once they were done, she walked him to a table. He was seated with Mei who he couldn’t stop staring. Mei was having a conversation with Lúcio, talking about how the weather at ecopoint was even more troublesome than the last time she was there. Mei was wearing a beautiful white cardigan and a thick scarf around her neck, Lúcio too was wearing a scarf, a lime green scarf with frogs.

She seemed to pretend Jamison wasn’t there.

Junkrat cleared his throat.

“’Ello” he said. She looked up and gave a dry and soft hello back, staring down at her plate.

“So uh, what ya got there?” He asked. She glanced at him.

“Same as you…” She said taking a bite. Lucio soon joined in with a bright smile. “Hey Hey, how’s breakfast?” He asked. “Wonderful. Thank you!” Mei replied with a cheerful smile. Junkrat took a huge bite and chewed quite loudly. Mei scrunched up her nose in disgust. “This is good mate!” He said swallowing. Mei stood up and went to her room after putting away her plate. Lucio stared at him in a matter of fact way at him.

“What?” Junkrat said raising an eyebrow. “I think I know what’s going on here…” Lucio said with a sly smile.

“I was just trying to talk to her.” The junker said crossing his arms. “She’s the only one who doesn’t trust me.” He said sighing. “Well, she just needs to warm up… She’s a tough cookie” Lucio said with a chuckle. “Yeah. I guess.” The junker said laying his head in his hands.

“But take a look at how many times I’ve tried this, it isn’t fair ya know?” Jamison pitched his voice, yelling at nothing. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me, and it’s nothing I care about but why would she be so repelled by me?”, Jamison turned around and saw everyone at their tables staring at him, but not Mako, no, Mako knew what he was referring to, he knew more than anyone what he meant.

“She has absolutely no reason to hate me, not even when I try so hard to make it count, I’m not wanting to be anything, I just want her to not hate me!!” Jamison said, he felt a knot growing withing his soul, his past becoming one with the present… So he remembered…

(…A vivid orange light hit his eyes in the most numbing way, his body vibrated as his young ten year old body fell, his knees hitting the warm cement floor in a matter of seconds, he felt tears running and his eyes turned into a lighter brown, the one his eyes beheld as his short life resumed into a single moment, the present. He felt thin, soft arms around him, he collided against a pair of breasts, his mother’s. His guardian. She carried him away from the outbreak as fast as she could, with her lasts seconds of life.

Her mother was a prostitute.

Poverty was a demon they couldn’t run from, it haunted them for years and years, along the family roots… from the very beginning…

“Jamison, go get me a few would ya?” he heard his mother say in a ghostly voice, he remembered her voice, never her name, never her face. “Be useful for your momma, or ill have to sell ya for the money I need.”

“Yes mum.”

He heard himself say. His saliva became sour and he realized why was he recalling these memories.

He stood up and realized not even the monster her mum once was really hated him. She saved him.

That was the last time he had someone until Mako came along.

But at this point it didn’t matter did it?…)

Everyone at the room saw Jamison’s face wet with tears, he didn’t move, he didn’t squeal, he just stared blankly at nothing, crying, weeping. Lucio stayed with the junker for a few hours, he didn’t wasn’t to ask him straight on what was going on but he wasn’t going to leave him. The sun had set and everyone had retreated to their rooms. Lucio yawned and scratched his neck. “I’m warn out. I’ll see ya tomorrow James” Lucio said taping his shoulder and heading to his room. “Take care buddy”

“Night mate" The junker called. James was the only one left In the dinning hall. He sighed and laid his head on the cool table. 'There’s so much snow’ he thought.

Mei opened her door and walked down the hall. She could hear Zarya vomiting as she passed her room. 'Poor Zarya, she was so beaten up. It really took a toll on her.’ She thought.

She yawned once more as she walked into the dining hall. She looked up at the clock. 'Its 2:30 in the morning’ she thought as she poured herself a glass of water. She watched the snow storm happening outside. She heard movement and spun around. But nothing.

She thought it might have been the wind outside. Mei slowly walked towards the pitcher again, her throat was dry and warm. But a sound was heard form outside, she heard it, she was sure she did.

Mei took a few steps towards the window, cleaning it from inside, making sure she didn’t came across someone outside, she was afraid she could find someone outside with this weather at this hour. She was afraid there was something, anything outside that could mean danger to her, to all of them. And this fear increased, more and more each step she made, each movement she did to cleaned that window, each time she heard the sound that was coming from outside, when before even seeing it she knew there was something out there. She took a step back.

´There’s someone out there!´ She thought, placing one hand on her chest and the other on her mouth. But then she thought twice, and then three times, until she came across a thought.

´What if they need help?’.

Once the thought went through her mind she quickly dressed up accordingly to what she was planning to do. She decided to go out there and help them, but before going out she made sure to bring a pocket knife with her, just in case.

The doors were colder than life. Her gloved finger pressed the button at her right and the doors raised. A cold merciless wind hit her entire body, a big windy storm unleashed the sound of raging dragons upon the facility, but she made sure no one heard. To keep everyone safe, she stepped outside as quickly as possible, closing the doors.

‘The white death…’ she thought. Her panicking thoughts coming back from the deepest graves of her mind, the deepest catacombs, the sewers of her mind. ‘I must help now that I can’.

Very carefully, she watched foot prints on the snow, they were very dim, almost gone by the wind, but still they guided somewhere. Slowly she stepped careful not to trip, moving against the cold. Then in the distance she heard it once again, a sound, no, not a sound, a voice.

“…You… you told me… you told me I’ll live momma…”

Her heart skipped a bit, she wasn’t sure, but that voice… That vice was familiar.

“…Momma come take me!!…”

The voice moaned, and this time Mei was sure of what she had heard. It was Junkrat’s voice.

“Junkrat!!” Mei screamed, she started following the voice now instead of the foot print pattern. “Junkrat what are you doing?” she squealed. She moved forward with anxiety, forcing her legs and arms in front of her, helpless she fell onto the snow, the wind made her trip back and roll down about ten steps. “Junkrat!” She screamed. She recovered and kept walking towards the moaning voice.

But then she stopped, she didn’t stop because she was tired, nor she had given up on him. She stopped because she saw him. She saw him and heard him. He was hot red. He wasn’t wearing clothes more than underwear, he was on the floor sobbing and trembling, but most importantly at the edge of a frozen cliff. She then understood.

She understood and couldn’t hold herself back. Her body vibrated with anticipation, she felt her guts rumble and contort. Her legs succumbed to her thoughts. But inside she wanst going to let that happen. She was going to help, she wanted to help, she had to.

She crawled up to him on the snow and took off her big warm jacket, and placed it over him, then she hugged him from behind, making sure he received warmth, but then she realized, then, very late then she realized where they were. She stood up, held her guts and took a look at the young man’s face. He was blue and red all over, pale and burned from the cold. He wasn’t moving no more, he wasn’t crying no more, he was silent as a rock.

Mei panicked, she picked him up with both arms and carried him inside the facility. And she swore to herself she wasn’t going to, the moment she knew what was going on, the moment she saw him by himself on the snow alone and depressed, but she did, she recalled, and she cried, she cried out a single loud yelp and she started to move once again, she remembered.

His body was ice itself, but he was soft, he was alive.

Once inside Mei took off most of her clothes, the ones she used to go outside with and wore a her pajamas. She quickly took Junkrat to the showers. There she carried him to one of the showers and turned on the hot water, she carefully placed him on the floor and regulated the water, then she sat on the shower floor with him, she took his motionless body and hugged him once again from behind, making sure he received warmth from every angle.

She couldn’t cope. She couldn’t confront the thought of someone dying. Not since what happened barely a few years ago. She trembled at the feeling of his cold back against her chest, her nipples hardening as a natural reaction to the temperature change. She thought how embarrassing this was and held the Aussie’s head and placed it on her legs.

All she could do at that point was to wait for his body to take a somewhat neutral temperature. But she found herself staring at the man’s face.

He had a very soft skin, at least it seemed like that to her, he had a pointy chin with only a few very blond hairs in them, almost not noticeable. His wet hair rested on his face as his mouth also rested in place, opened just a bit, his teethe barely showing. She could hear him breathe, she sighed in hope. But as much as she wanted she couldn’t stop looking at him, his face has a lot cleaner, his nose was so incredibly detailed. All his features seemed like they were made by a sculptor.

Mei was stubborn at times, but her passion in nature reflected how much she loved details. She felt attracted to his face.

She realized she was just inches from Junkrat’s face. She stopped herself quickly and closed her eyes. Mei shook the moment off her head and reached the junker’s neck. She pressed two fingers against it. Alive, he was alive, his heart beating, he was breathing, his blood pumping. She was certainly relieved.

She turned the water off and took Jamison to her room, she sat him on her bed and looked for clothes and a towel. Once ready she came across something she wasn’t ready about, mostly something she wasn’t sure of how to do. She had to undress him so she could dry him. Mei sat on the floor wondering how and what to do at the moment. Mei started snapping her fingers on Junkrat’s ear. Nothing.

She clapped a few times next to his ear, but nothing again.

Mei stood still and closed her eyes. She looked to her left, as if she didn’t want to see what she was doing, even though both of her eyes were tight shut. She first touched the young man’s legs, and softly she drew a path with her fingers up to where his underwear was. ‘I got this’ she thought. But she wasn’t sure.

Mei slowly but firmly grabbed onto the junker’s underwear and started pulling it down. She could hear her heart beating, but she kept going until she made sure they were off, the fabric wet and cold, she tossed them away and again, only with her hand she reached for a towel but her hand touched for a bit Junkrat’s leg, soft and warm now. She placed the towel over him, she opened her eyes. There he was, resting and breathing deeply, unlike before.

As she took a sweater from her bed she realized he was moving, Junkrat was waking up.

“Hng…” A moan came out of his mouth.

‘Oh no, oh no why.’ Mei thought, ‘This is awkward!’

She shook the thought and stood in front of him. She thought if she was going to get into this situation she better have most of it under control.

The blonde found himself soaking wet and staring at a white ceiling, by his side a rather small, chubby girl stood staring down at him with a blank expression.

“Mei-?”

“Go put on some clothes, I’ll wait for you at the kitchen.”

He stared at his body and noticed he wasn’t wearing any clothes, he was speechless, he stared at Mei and as he was about to say a word Mei left the room and onto the kitchen. He wondered what had happened… But it didn’t take long, he recalled, and then he got a headache.

It was far worse than a headache.

He crossed the towel over his waist, a pink towel. He left the room jumping on his foot, and into his own room, there he carefully took clothes from the bags and put them on, slowly. His body a decaying mess. Once out he cleared his throat and walked onto the lunch room. There she was, now using a gray cardigan over a white sweater. She had changed her clothes for dry ones, and on the table she prepared two hot coffees.

He was stunned, Mei being nice to him.

He carefully took a seat in front of her and stared down. He knew she knew what he was trying to do.

“I… I don’t really want to make you feel bad in any way mate but, ya didn’t had to do that at all.” Jamison said, giving a pale almost blurry smile.

“I did, and I did it because I promised myself to do so.” Mei replied.

“How so?”

“…Not so long ago, all of my coworkers died. Friends and coworkers.” Mei said taking a sip of the hot coffee. “But I worked hard, so hard and got out of there, here, where we stood hours ago.” Jamison stared at her, Mei’s glasses steamed up from the coffee, yet he could still see a shine rolling down her cheek, a tear.

“But there’s so much more to do here, life is beautiful!, every inch of this planet is, don’t you see it?” Jamison saw her face light up but at the same time she had long streams of tears down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry I was mean to you, I’m never like this over anyone…”

Jamison felt once again that knot in his throat, growing bigger and bigger, thicker and thicker like a balloon was growing from inside out.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, don’t you get it?, There’s a reason I don’t want to live anymore. This life has nothing to give me.” Jamison replied, lowering his voice and pitch.

“No!” Mei replied. “There is much to see still… I know you need help with this, I certainly did. Trust me”

“You’re being oddly talkative now aren’t ya?” Jamison said with a laugh, but Mei wasn’t laughing, she was clearly worried.

“Look, I don’t know what to do, but if you’ll feel better then I wont do it. At least not until I’m outta here sunshine.” He said with a smile on his face, changing his posture.

‘Sunshine?’ Jamison thought. ‘Where the hell did that came from?’

Mei sighed deeply and took another sip of coffee. Mei wasn’t very talkative with anyone unless they were friends. But Jamison was, and as he always did he tried persuading her into talking more about other stuff. Jamison told her about the time he lost his arm, and the one he lost his leg, he told her about the day him and Roadie got caught stealing something and they had to run from a bunch of people, more than usual. Mei told him about her sketches and how she likes to doodle things, she told him about the things she loved, about what natural phenomenons she wonders about the most sometimes and he replied with for the first time in a long time with taking note and paying attention to what she said. He wasn’t very fond of memories, but at that moment he felt that listening to someone at this point really didn’t mean anything, but that was no excuse to not do so. About an hour passed and they found themselves chuckling and opening themselves to one another, at least for a short time. None of them had slept and it was about to be 3:30 am.

“…Oh!, it is so late, we should take a rest don’t you think?” Mei said, looking at the watch in the kitchen. Jamison grabbed both cups and walked towards the kitchen. Mei, still sitting down stared at him, ‘He’s very tall’ she thought.

“Alright mate, see ya tomorrow.” Jamison said waving his hand.

“Wait,… you told me all these things but you never told me your name…” Mei said, standing up from the table.

“Well it’s James. Jamison Fawkes. Yours?” Jamison said smiling and bowing down, he seemed happy but deep inside Mei could still see the man’s sorrow.

“My name is Mei, Mei Ling-Zhou.”

“Ahh Mei Ling shoe right?” Mei chuckled.

“No, no. Mei Ling- ZHOU” She said, emphasis on her last name.

Jamison laughed and replied. “I’m just kidding, ya know I know Chinese right?, well that doesn’t help it, ill be calling you shoe until we get out of here sunshine.”

Mei stared at him with a smile “Well, so far Mr Fawkes, you’ve called me ‘sunshine’"Jamison lowered his face and in the back of his head a million thoughts came across, but he shut them up as quickly as he could.

“Haha… I’m sorry” He replied, his voice weak.

Mei replaced his smile with a worried expression, she got near him and told him to ‘rest for the day, tomorrow it’ll be okay’ so he did.

————————————————————————— This story was created by @chellbuns and continued by @starlightpeaches

[slartifartbast]

True story time! Mostly depressing, but some sexy stuff happens.

An evening of firsts

CW: Depression, explicit sexual content, internalized fatphobia, severe self-loathing & insecurity, STDs, uhhh, and if you think of something else that belongs here, please let me know so I can add it.

I’m giving my friend the pseudonym Leeta because she is, in fact, smoking hot, and she spent some time working as a burlesque dancer.

Before we get to the juicy details, the plodding backstory!

Late summer, 2002, Brooklyn, NY. It was my second year of renting a bedroom in a 4-story brownstone house near what is now referred to as the Atlantic Barclay’s Terminal. I was 23 years old and feeling somewhat secure in my place in the city again. I had a full time job, a relatively short commute, and had some spending money. I was thinking about “thinking about” dating. Spent some downtime at work looking at the Onion’s personals site, and realizing that there’s no way any of the women there would find me interesting (the dull personality persists).

One of the other rooms in the house had become vacant, and so Leeta applied. She was a 20 year old student at a nearby college. Imagine, if you will, Christina Hendricks’ physique and complexion. Morph Christina Hendricks’s face about 1/3 of the way to Kristen Schaal’s face, and you now can imagine Leeta perfectly.

The landlady had one major rule for the house: no fucking. She’s not getting any, so no one else is, either. Anywhere else, fine, just not here.

That was a rule I had no problem obeying. Hindsight tells me I had a reason to break that rule many times over. But we’re not there yet in the story.

Leeta and I became close friends. We’d watch movies together, hang out a bit after work/school, whatever. When the landlady went away on vacation, Leeta would platonically share my bed. If it was summer, I had the A/C. Winter, an electric blanket. The first time, I asked if I could cuddle with her. She found this endearing and consented. After a few minutes, she said “you’re not very good at this; where’s your legs?”

“To be embarrassingly honest, I’ve never been this close to anyone before, and I’m completely aroused. You didn’t sign up to deal with that.”

She grabbed a spare pillow to put between us, I got closer, and we fell asleep. So that was our relationship. Caring, affectionate, with some teasing here and there about my utter lack of experience. We supported each other when we had romantic prospects.

A year later, the landlady decided to retire and sell the house. We moved out, went our separate ways, hanging out once in a while. I still had all kinds of feelings for her, but never made them known. We went to the movies once, and she did the “yawn, stretch, arm around the shoulders” thing to me. I blushed, smiled, and held her hand. At dinner afterward, she showed me a portfolio booklet that she had modeled for. The cover was a picture of her, nude, laying in a bathtub. Just full frontal everything. I lost the capacity to speak for a few minutes. Upon recovering, I managed to compliment how the angle, composition, and lighting perfectly captured her delectable curves. We hung out a few more times, but eventually lost touch for a couple of years.

I was dealing with depression, anxiety, and self-loathing. I got back into the habit of eating my feelings. There was someone else I was developing a friendship with, who seemed to be interested in more, but by the time I figured that out, she had moved on to another guy in our circle of friends. I was devastated and miserable and withdrawn and just completely fucking hated myself. At this point, I was working second shift and the idea of dating was HARD. There were attempts, but I never knew what to say or do. My inbox was always empty. On a whim, at the end of 2006, I emailed Leeta to see what she was up to.

A week later, she responded: “Call me.”

And so I did! We agreed that she’d meet me at my job the next day around 7 PM, because we’d be alone by that time of day. I reminded her that my boss has an unpredictable habit of leaving work at 6, going home from Manhattan to New Jersey for a few hours, and then returning for no apparent reason.

Leeta showed up at just the right time and we greeted each other with a warm hug. We caught up on what she had been up to. She got on my computer and pulled up a website with pics of her at work, dancing in various states of undress. I tactfully complimented her, and eventually she changed the subject to me. I explained why I was in a bad way.

She took my hand, and lead me to the day-glow orange IKEA foldout couch, and sat me down. She turned away from me and began dancing. Then she sat on my lap and started grinding.

“Leeta, despite what you can feel through our pants...if this is out of pity, I don’t want it.”

She got up, turned around, mounted me face to face, took off her shirt, pulled her breasts out of her bra, and pulled my head to her chest. Hearing and feeling her heart beat, I kissed my way up to her collarbone, neck, and face. When I got to her lips, she hesitated. Her fingers ran through my hair as I held her other hand, and I asked her to please kiss me back.

28 goddamn years old, and begging for my first kiss.

After a moment, she did. Deeply, passionately. Her tongue surprised me, becoming a tornado around my own while she went back to grinding and groping me. She sat up a little, pushed my face between her breasts, and I worshipped them for what felt like either an eternity, or 0.68 seconds. I could have spent the rest of the night doing so, but my attention was eventually needed elsewhere.

“Mmmm, I’m wet. Here, feel.”

I obliged, because I’m a dutiful scientist. It’s really difficult to reach down someone’s jeans when they’re sitting on your lap. She unbuttoned and unzipped, and I was able to verify her condition.

We stood up. I pulled out and unfolded the couch while she took off her shoes & pants. She laid down and I got on top, kissing and licking from her head down to her toes, pausing briefly at her hips to slowly pull off her underwear. On my way back up, she opened her legs and guided my hand. I’d seen enough educational porn to understand what she wanted. I “come hithered” until she couldn’t take it any more, slurped her juices from my fingers, and went right back at it. By the 7th or 8th time, she was convulsing and grabbing at me. We kissed as she came down from the high. She got up on her knees, bent over and proclaimed, “I like it rough. Spank me?” I admired, caressed, squeezed, kissed, licked, and finally spanked her glorious ass. I moved to a better angle so I could finger and spank at the same time. I don’t get the whole pain/pleasure thing, but she certainly enjoyed herself.

It was then that Leeta noticed that I was still fully clothed. Not even slightly unbuttoned. I was (am) terribly uneasy about being naked with anyone, even with someone who wanted me. My face and body look like sacks of potatoes, and I felt unworthy of proceeding further. On top of that, I didn’t want to lose my virginity in my office, surrounded by dust and fumes, where my boss could return at any moment and I’d lose my job.

Unfortunately, she internalized my insecurity. “Is it because I’m ugly?” she asked.

“I’m the ugly one here. I’m so grateful to be with you, but this place is disgusting, my boss could be here soon, and I don’t have a condom. Your place or mine?”

“I can’t, I have to go to work.”

“How much do you need for tonight’s shift? I can cover you. Please, I want to be with you.”

“That’s not it; if I don’t show up, they won’t let me come back.”

I gathered up her clothes and “helped” her get dressed, kissing her all over. When she was ready to go, we embraced and made out for another minute. She proposed a FWB situation, to which I agreed.

Looking back, I realize this was out of insecurity, and she possibly wanted more. If she had asked, I would have said yes. I just didn’t know better at the time.

I let her go, and texted her as she left the building. “You’re wonderful, I can’t wait to see you again.”

I finished my shift uninterrupted, went home floating, and did some...“scientific research”.

I didn’t hear from her for weeks. The first week, I texted her every day. The messages quickly transitioned from Thirsty to Worried. After getting no response, I gave up.

Another week or so passed, and I sent a “I miss you, I hope you’re okay” text.

Finally, a response: “I have herpes.”

“Funny! Seriously, it’s ok if you don’t want to sleep with me. I can take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“I’m not kidding.”

I was not well. I was sad and angry, mostly for selfish reasons. I kept it all in, though, figuring she was going through enough stuff. I took her to dinner that weekend, and she explained what happened.

Leeta felt rejected because I didn’t have sex with her in my office. After her shift, she met a guy on the train ride home. He seemed nice. She went home with him, slept with him, spent a lot of time with him. A week later, she was at Planned Parenthood for an exam, pointed to a sore, and asked a nurse, “what’s that?”

She went to the guy, who had no idea. He had been kicked out of a very strict, religious, and anti-science (also, anti-“science”) home at an early age, had no knowledge about, well, anything. She decided to help him get his shit together. We parted that night, and I hugged her for what was probably an inappropriate amount of time.

A few months of friendly texting followed, and eventually Leeta expressed the idea of setting me up with one of her friends. The three of us would meet at a jazz club, with Leeta as a mutual wingwoman. “Denise” was super cute, and we had some common interests. It was awkward at first, but we had a good time. We shared a cab home because we lived on opposite ends of the same neighborhood. Sadly, Denise and I had opposing work schedules, and despite my efforts, we never saw each other again. It was also the last time I saw or heard from Leeta.

I have missed her ever since. But more selfishly, I miss the way I felt when I was with her. With Leeta, I never felt any kind of pressure to work and earn her affection; it was just there, and I reciprocated it. I never had a relationship like that since.

[wanderinguterus1]

Economy Class

“Deserve is a bullshit term. None of us deserves anything. We get what we get.” -Brit Bennett

I once read an article in which a researcher detailed a human behavioral study conducted on airplanes - particularly, among economy class passengers. On some planes, economy class passengers have to pass through the first class area before getting to their (inferior) seats. The study found that on these planes, negative behaviors increased. For example, arguing with flight attendants and fighting with other passengers - all significantly higher in economy class if first class seats were present. The researcher landed on this theory: seeing first class patrons - with their roomy seats, individual arm rests, and ample leg room - made economy class passengers like they were being treated unfairly. In other words, when people are forced to witness drastic inequality, their mindset shifts in a negative direction.

Teaching in a private school, I am often reminded of that article. A few days ago, after third period, I made my way around the classroom, sanitizing the students’ desks. In the beginning of the year, I delegated this job to students, but over time, I realized doing it myself was easier than overseeing reckless 14-year-olds with sanitizer bottles, fearing they would spray a friend in the face or drop the sanitizer on someone’s computer. The label on the bottle warned: “Attention: Can Cause Blindness.” I decided not to take my chances with teenage boys.

I had an hour until my next class arrived, so I sat down at my computer and began flipping through quizzes and recording grades. The soft tapping of the keyboard drastically contrasted with the sounds of hyper ninth graders who had filled the room a few minutes ago. I was enjoying the silence when a former student came by to visit.

“Hi Ariel!”

“Hi Ms. Long.”

Since I had taught her as an 8th grader, I remembered her as a tiny, overly nervous 13- year-old. Now a senior, Ariel moved with confidence, sitting in the desk to my right and straightening the quizzes I had graded and discarded haphazardly.

“Are these To Kill a Mockingbird quizzes?” she asked, looking over the students’ answers.

“Yes.”

“I hated that book.”

I shook my head and sighed. Pulling my mask down to take a quick sip of coffee, I resisted the urge to rebuke her for her bad taste.

“My sister got into Yale,” she announced.

“That’s awesome,” I responded tentatively. Ariel, an average student, had a genius sister. I wondered how Ariel felt about her sister’s acceptance into the Ivy league, although it couldn’t have been too unexpected. Caitlin had been winning academic awards since she was in middle school and had spent the previous summer shadowing a world-renowned journalist.

“Yeah, and I got a full ride to FSU.”

“Wow! I’m so proud of you! I bet your parents are so happy!”

“Yeah, but since it’s not really fair that they don’t have to pay for my college, and Caitlin’s tuition is like 40 thousand a year, they are going to give me the equivalent of that in cash every year to make it even.”

I stared at her, wondering if I had actually heard her correctly. And wishing someone had taught her to “read the room.” Did she just imply the injustice of a full ride? And admit that her parents would be giving her, an 18-year old, forty thousand dollars in cash? To make things FAIR?

Obliviously, she continued, “I’ll probably be able to buy a house as soon as I graduate college.”

Suddenly, I had a realization: being a teacher in a private school was like sitting in the first row of economy class with the first class section in clear view. Every day. For eternity.

I’m not jealous because I want a bigger house or a nicer car or a boat; I just want a baby. One baby. Forty-something thousand dollars stands in the way of my husband and I adopting or trying IVF, but here sits an 18 year-old who will be gifted that amount of money each year for the next four years of her life. She would be able to buy four babies by the time she's 21.

I think of money in terms of babies now. For example, I heard that a Pokemon card sold on eBay yesterday for 500,000 dollars. Instead of dollars, I imagined that Japanese cartoon character being traded for twelve and a half babies.

Don't get me wrong; I understand that compared to so many, I lead a privileged life. I come from a two-parent, middle class home, and I’ve never known what it’s like to suffer from racial discrimination. If I lived in a less developed country, I would be comparing myself to very different types of people: women who sit outside for hours every day, rain or shine, selling vegetables for next to nothing; taxi drivers who work seven days a week, twelve hours a day, just to be able to feed their families. These people don't spend time writing autobiographical essays about how flawed the system is. Even though I understand these truths, I can't help but feel, at times, that I've been shafted.

                                                       *

Two years ago, I lay naked save for the papery hospital gown, in a cold pre-operation room. Hooked up to an IV, I waited on my doctor to arrive and remove the twelve fibroid tumors he had found during my ultrasound. Luis stood by the bed, holding my hand and telling me about the infamous Star Wars holiday special of 1978 in an effort to distract me.

“It actually had Wookie porn in it. Wookie porn. What were they thinking? Chewbacca’s father just groans for like ten minutes straight. It's known as one of the worst films to ever air on television.”

The surgery, an abdominal myomectomy, consisted of cutting open the abdomen in order to remove the tumors. After a year of trying to have a baby and failing, this was our first expensive problem-solving attempt.

On the other side of the curtain, a nurse greeted her patient. “Good morning! What are we having today?”

The voice of a man replied, “It’s a girl.”

“How exciting, is it your first?”

“No,” his female counterpart answered with a chuckle.

I tried to focus on Luis’s Star Wars story, but I kept thinking about the happy couple, leaving later that day with their brand new baby girl all wrapped up in her soft, pink blanket, smelling like cookies after they’ve been dipped in milk. I would leave with nothing but a cleaner uterus and a fat hospital bill.

Moments later, a surgeon arrived, nodded his head to us and continued to the other side of the curtain. I heard him ask, “Ok, so C-section and tubal ligation today, right?”

I almost laughed out loud. So my body was about to be cut open to make it a welcoming home for a fetus while my roommate’s doctor would be rearranging her organs to do the opposite.

I hear the sounds of a table wheeling around and the clanking of instruments. “Do you have a name picked out?”

“Yes, her name is going to be Seven.”

“That’s unique.”

“Well, she’s number seven. I have had six kids in ten years. So yeah, I'm ready to get the tubes tied.”

I looked at Luis indignantly. Seven children in ten years!? I'd been diligently tracking my temperature in order to perfectly time our “lovemaking,” doing headstands after sex, and eating vegan cheese, and this girl is popping out babies every other year. How can two women’s bodies be so utterly different? Luis widened his eyes as if to say, “Well? Do you really want seven children?”

My husband had a way of reframing any depressing situation. When we visited friends who lived in houses much nicer and more expensive than ours, he said things like, “I didn't really like their shower head,” or “I wouldn’t want to live that far away from the city.” Whereas I was seriously considering asking my hospital roommate if she wanted someone to take Seven off her hands, he was probably just thanking the universe that he wasn’t going home this afternoon to a house full of seven kids. On a plane, he would probably find a way to prefer his tiny, middle seat in the back row near the bathrooms to the luxurious first class experience. “Economy people are more friendly than rich people,” he might say.

                                                   *

Before the surgery, I had asked the doctor multiple times how long I would be in recovery, but he would only respond with, “Everyone is different.”

Well, in my mind that translated to two or three days of bedrest, because I rarely use more than three sick days in a school year. Unfortunately, my superior immune system had nothing to do with post-surgery pain, and for seven days afterwards, I was confined to the couch, unable to stand up straight or move more than a few feet without stopping, and in serious pain when my abs contracted. Any time I sneezed, coughed, or tried to flip myself over, it felt like someone was using a straight razor to open my stomach as if it were an Amazon box.

After an entire week of lying on the couch and taking opioids every five hours, I went back to work, still a bit hunched over and rather pale. And on the eighth day, I had to go back to the doctor for a post-op appointment so the bandage could be removed and the healing process be judged.

The bandage - about six inches wide five inches thick, had been placed right on my underwear line. I had already tried to remove it a little myself, just out of curiosity, but I didn’t get very far because it felt like it had been super-glued to the most sensitive area of my body. No one had warned me to shave completely before surgery.

In the car on the way to the appointment, I worried about the removal process and, not wanting to experience more pain, asked Luis, “The doctor probably has something to put on this to make it come off easily, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know,” he said, sounding doubtful. This should have been a signal to me. Luis, being a man, knows how men think. He knew, but didn’t want to break it to me, that there was no way a doctor has ever concerned himself with how painful a bandage removal process would be.

Choosing to be naively optimistic, I decided to trust in the kindness of medical professionals; surely they wouldn’t put me through more pain after so recently having had my abdomen cut open. However, once I was lying on the examination table, naked from the waist down, feet up in the stirrups, doubts started to creep in. As the now familiar ultrasound wand moved around inside my body, Dr. Edwards crowed on about how clear and devoid of fibroids my uterus looked.

Ok, surgery was successful, fibroids are gone, good job, thank you, now please get this thing out of me. When the ultrasound finally ended, he asked, “Do you want to remove the bandage or do you want me to?”

I hesitated, because that question implied that there was no procedure involved... that any random Joe off the street could just stroll in with normal people hands and just rip off this thing with no training whatsoever. My wheels were turning... So... you aren’t going to like, put some kind of magic lotion on me first?

Unfortunately, magic lotion only existed in my fantasies. In reality, surgery proved just a portion of the pain I would endure before it was actually over.

I began to remove the bandage, deciding I would rather be my own executioner. I picked the top part until my fingernails could get underneath, and started to tug. The skin rose as I pulled- it had been eight days since its placement and the glue didn't seem to have weakened at all. How was that possible? If humans are smart enough to design SuperBandage, aren’t we also advanced enough to create anti-adhesive?

When I got to the lower half of the bandage, which was on top of hair, things went downhill quickly. Removing it felt like getting a bikini wax - which I’ve only tried once and chickened out halfway through.

Eventually, I conceded. I couldn’t willingly put myself through the torture. “Can I just do it later, at home? In the bathtub?” I pleaded.

The doctor gave me a puzzled look, as if he didn’t understand the question. “I need to see if your scar is healing.”

“I’ll send you a picture. I swear.”

He chuckled, but I wasn’t kidding. I have never hated anyone more than I hated him in that moment. I bet he had never endured a bikini wax. He probably winced when his wife plucked his eyebrows. I made a mental note to give him a horrible Yelp review.

I refused to continue, so Dr. Edwards took over: he pulled and the nurse pushed the skin down as he went across - yes, pushing right below my stitches. I have never felt such excruciating pain in my entire life; it was like being stabbed with a hundred tiny needles on a part of my body that was only meant to be touched with loving hands. At one point, I instinctively grabbed the doctor’s arm, forcing him to stop. Staring at the bandage, which was only halfway removed, I cursed all men, including Luis. Why didn’t anyone tell me to shave? Why didn’t they give me anesthesia for this?

When the torture finally ended, Dr. Edwards looked at me with amusement in his eyes, and asked, “You ok?” as if I had been overly dramatic. I decided that I would never, ever, forgive him. Public Service Announcement for Women: Shave before any abdominal surgeries. And never settle for a male doctor if a female one is available.

I often wondered why I was putting myself though so much pain to bring a new life into the world. Was the desire to have children an evolutionary curse? Growing up, I never questioned whether or not it would happen because that’s what women are meant to do, right? What is a woman if not a mother? At least that’s what all the women I knew growing up led me to believe. Receiving the hospital bill in the mail a few weeks later prompted me to further question this desire. If I hadn’t cared about being a mother, Luis and I could have used the surgery money to take a trip to our dream destination - South Africa - flying first class.

Sometimes, when I’m lying naked from the waist down with my feet in stirrups, I think about my early 30s, when eggs and fertile windows were blissfully far from my mind. Unfettered by thoughts of motherhood, I concerned myself with traveling as much as possible.

Reading Walden had convinced me that staring at a computer screen all day was no way to live. Thoreau had inspired me to work with my hands, to get outside, to “suck the marrow” out of life. So after six years of teaching, I quit my job and departed alone on a plane to New Zealand. Although I had never even set foot on a farm before, I planned to volunteer on various organic farms as a way to connect with the natural world. The research I had conducted for this adventure amounted to about one hour’s worth of googling.

Since I had lived in a country where I didn’t speak nor read the language for three years, I craved traveling without a language barrier. My inferior sense of direction often weakened my resolve for adventure, so I needed a place where, at the very least, I could read the street signs. My first stop was a dairy farm in Opotiki. I pronounced this as if the last two syllables were “tea- key” as in tiki bar. The bus driver couldn’t understand me; he said he had never heard of such a place.

After some discussion and help from the internet, he dropped me off at the bus stop in “Ah-PO-Tah-key,” where a 20-something-year-old French guy named Clement stood smoking a cigarette. He had been sent by the dairy farmer to pick me up and seemed bored by the task.

Getting off of the bus, I must have looked a bit like Elle Woods showing up for her first day at Harvard. I wore skinny jeans, pink Uggs, and a tie-dyed sweatshirt. Clement had on overalls smeared with a brown substance, work boots, and a look that said, “You have no idea what you are getting yourself into.”

“Hi!” I exclaimed, eager to make a companion after a long solo flight and bus ride.

Clement lifted his chin in greeting and pointed to an old, faded black Honda Civic.

I stuffed my backpack into the trunk, and headed for the passenger seat, after an awkward moment with Clement in which I realized that the right side of the car was actually the driver’s side.

Undeterred by Clement’s apathy towards me, I asked, “How has it been, working on the farm?”

“Lot of cow sheet,” he responded, in a thick French accent.

He then reached for the radio and turned the music up to a decibel that prevented me from responding. Maybe my expectations for companionship had been a bit high.

The drive to the farm consisted of Clement driving about 20 miles over the speed limit on tiny, winding dirt roads, and me closing my eyes and holding tightly to the sides of my seat with both hands. At some point, I felt the urge to vomit, but I just laid my head back and practiced yoga breathing. Clement did not seem to notice.

By some miracle, we arrived at the farm without incident, where I met John, an older man who owned a little red house on seven acres. He explained that Clement and I would be sharing the spare room, meant for volunteers, and he showed me where my overalls and work boots rested.

“Be ready to go at four a.m. I’ll have yogurt and granola ready for breakfast,” he said, handing me an empty water canteen. “Tonight, before you go to sleep, you need to fill this with boiling water and put it under your blankets. It's going to get cold in your room.”

Cold didn’t adequately describe the sleeping quarters. Until it was time for bed, Clement, John and I had been lounging in the cozy, carpeted living room near the fireplace. However, around nine pm, when we moved to the back bedrooms, the wood floors felt like ice on my bare feet. I retrieved a sweatshirt, a scarf, a pair of gloves, and two pairs of socks from my suitcase and put them all on. The temperature must have been around forty degrees, because I could actually see my breath in the darkness. Sleeping proved difficult; every hour, I put on another piece of clothing from my suitcase, eventually looking like the pigeon lady in Home Alone. The canteen was only big enough to heat up one body part and remained warm for just half the night. Throughout all of my tossing, turning, and the unzipping and zipping of my backpack, Clement slept peacefully in normal pajamas. At four a.m., when the rooster started crowing, I wanted to weep. I yearned for my warm Tel Aviv apartment, central heating, and my teaching job, which suddenly felt like a white collar position.

I snuggled deeper into my bed, hoping to enjoy the blankets for a few more minutes, until I saw Clement pop out of bed and don his overalls. Refusing to be the weakling that he probably expected me to be, I followed his lead.

“Did you bring a hat?” John asked, when I entered the kitchen.

“No. Why?” I asked, thinking if I had a hat, I probably would have worn it to bed last night.

“Some of the cows have lice and you could catch it.”

I eagerly accepted the hat John proffered.

Clement and I ate our yogurt in silence - not surprising for him, but I was just too cold and tired to care.

John led us to the barn after breakfast, where we would be milking the cows. When I walked through the doors, my hand instinctively covered my nose: the smell - similar to a Port- O-Potty at the end of a crowded, weekend-long music festival - attacked me. John and Clement, unaffected by the stench, chuckled at my reaction.

“Better than the smell of cars in the city,” John said, smiling.

I wasn’t convinced.

Now it was time to learn how to milk a cow. In my imaginings of this moment, I would sit on a cute step stool, a sweet little cow would trot up to me, and I would gently tug on her teats, squirting milk into a tin bucket below. I would repeat this a few times, and a day’s work would be done.

In reality, John owned about 200 cows. The barn housed 50 stalls into which the first herd of cows were guided; each stood so that her butt faced into the shed. John handed me one of many thick, black hoses that hung from the ceiling. At the end of the hose was a steel device with four suction cups; I needed to attach the suction cups to the cow’s teats. The three of us would walk up and down the stalls, eventually connecting the suction cups to all fifty cows, and then John would turn on the machine.

For the first set of cows, this went pretty smoothly; according to John, these were the “old gals” who were used to the process. But when the younger cows were led into the stalls, they seemed less than thrilled. I watched in horror as one of them furiously kicked her hind legs, trying to escape the suction cups. John ran over to her, adeptly tying each of her legs to the stall. What happened next was both horrifying and impressive. I remember learning about how vultures can vomit on demand; it's one of their defenses when threatened. Well, apparently cows have a similar skillset. The moment John finished tying up the second leg, that cow shot projectile diarrhea right onto his chest.

I managed to get through the morning milking - which took two hours total - without trauma. I felt victorious but exhausted; I longed to go inside and take a nap.

“Meet me back out here at noon,” John said, after the barn had been cleaned.

I wondered why we would need to come back to the barn so soon. Clement delighted in informing me that the cows were milked twice a day.

Eventually, Clement, John and I fell into a routine, and for two whole weeks, I milked cows (twice a day) without contracting lice or getting kicked in the face. I even learned some tricks for sleeping in 40 degree temperatures, like taking a scalding hot shower right before bedtime, throwing on clothes as quickly as possible, then running straight to the bed, where I had previously placed the hot water canteen.

When I look back on my New Zealand adventure, I marvel at my resilience. How I just trudged out to the barn in those big rubber work boots at four a.m. and kept talking to Clement even though he only responded in grunts. And even though I’m older now, and slightly less malleable, I’m still managing. Every day I go to school and greet those first class passengers without displaying any “negative behaviors.” (I still welcome Ariel when she comes to visit me.) And I’m going to keep tracking my ovulation and putting away money for adoption, at least for another two or three years. And if we are relegated to fly in economy class on a plane full of first class passengers for the rest of our lives, at least Luis will be there to remind me that first class isn’t all that great anyway.

[purplesurveys]

838

This is about to get crazy, are you ready? I’ve done way over 2,000 of these, I’m sure I can handle this. Have you ever done cocaine? Nope. Not interested. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing right now? Feliz, in one of their tiny stalls that sell trendy clothes for a lot cheaper. What song would best describe your love life? I always go with Still Into You - Paramore because it’s my favorite band, it’s their happiest song, and because my relationship’s been going on for a while which is what the song celebrates. What are you going to do after this? Another survey, probably. In the mood for these tonight.

Are you wearing jeans? Hell no. I brought Cooper to the vet today (also the first time I drove out IN THREE MONTHS) and even then I didn’t opt for jeans. Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? That’s my dad, and that would be disgusting. I’ve kissed him on the cheeks though. Has anyone ever called you a whore? Pretty sure we had a bully with anger issues in 6th grade that liked calling me either slut or whore, I’m not sure which it was anymore. I was too depressed in that grade that I wasn’t even bothered by her at all. Who were you last in a car with? Cooper; I had to take him to the vet. His diarrhea had turned bloody so we needed an emergency checkup. Are you in a good mood right now? Not really. My PMS has arrived so I’m in the mood to be on the rooftop, be alone, and cry over nothing lmao. I wish I still had my vape pen. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Maybe once or twice, but it’s not the most striking thing about my face so I don’t get too many compliments about it. Have you lost interest in someone recently? In something, yeah. Quarantine (and the fact that I’m graduating) has so far made me lose interest in my extracurriculars and recently I’ve been getting irritated every time I still get assigned to do work for my org. I’m detached now, please get the hint guys. Is there anyone who you think you deserve an apology from? My mom I guess, for the 22+ years of trauma and emotional abuse. Have you ever played the guitar? I’ve played around with it, but I don’t actually know how to play it well. Has anything "cute" happened in the past week? My dogs. Could you handle living with the last person you talked to on the phone? I already do. It was my dad. Cooper is technically his dog, so when I brought him to the vet I had to contact him repeatedly via text and call to answer some of the vet’s questions. Do you ever take your anger out on others? That was definitely my tendency before, but I’ve seen how that destroys other people so I’ve made it a point to avoid it completely. What grade is the last person you texted in? He hasn’t been in school since 1993. Do you still talk to the person you had feelings for 6 months ago? Yes indeed. Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? I’m quite there already, and yeah sure. I have a general field I see myself being in, but I haven’t thought about what specific job titles I want. Has anyone seen you in your underwear lately? Nopes. Where's your phone right now? Beside me. Have you ever liked someone older than you? Just celebrity crushes hahaha but no one irl. Are you the oldest child? The youngest? In the middle? Only child? I’m the eldest of two other siblings. This survey isn’t as crazy as you pitched it to be so far... Would you rather be called 'honey' or 'baby'? Baby. Not a fan of honey as in recent years it’s been used in a condescending tone to talk down on someone during an argument lol Was the first person to text you today a boy or a girl? Boy. Man, to be more accurate. Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you did? I’m sure I’ve pissed off a number of people here and there. When did you last say "I love you"? Did you mean it? Not sure, this morning I think? Yeah, I always mean it when I say it. Are you talking to anyone right now? Nope, am all about this survey right now. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Sure, it happens. My mind’s constantly running so I’m no longer surprised if I go from thinking about a friend to suddenly remembering a sales clerk I may have had a brief interaction with five years ago lmao. What or who is on your mind right now? I’m deciding if I should go for coffee or soju tonight. But I’m PMSing, so I think the choice is obvious. Right handed or left handed? Right. Have you ever had chicken pox? Not yet, which is all the more reason to be terrified haha. I heard it’s worse when you’re older :( Did you buy anything today? Not with my money but I bought new medicine for Cooper (he’s already taking two but the vet added one more since they now found protozoa in his stool) and also ~glucose monohydrate~ to mix with his water. His stool’s looked much better ever since he took these two today so I’ve finally stopped worrying. Last person to lay in your bed, besides you? If it’s not Gabie, they’re not allowed to be on my bed. Other than people, I’ve only had Kimi lie in my bed. I’ve wanted to bring Cooper on it too, but I gotta give it to Kimi. My bed is his throne and it’ll stay his :) When's the last time you took a shower? This morning, but I’ll probs be taking another one tonight. Would you ever camp out on a beach under the stars? I honestly prefer a hotel/resort room nearby lolol. Idk, I just feel like too much sand around would just make me irritable, as much as I love the beach. Are you listening to music right now? If so, what? No music at the moment. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Cold. Freezing cold. Make me wear three layers of clothing under the thickest blanket. I’ve had enough of tropical climate. What were you doing at 7am this morning? Playing with the pup. Were you happy when you woke up this morning? I was mostly annoyed that my body clock woke me up so early again, actually. Has anyone gotten on your nerves today? Oh my godddd yeah. I went out to go to the vet today and I figured, why not see Gabie? I called her up thinking she’d be stoked about the idea, but being the worrier/pessimist she was she instead gave me a barrage of what if’s and just sounded so unenthusiastic. It killed off my excitement by 200% and by the end of the call I just wanted to stay home lmao. What are you excited for, if anything? More and more people from other colleges in my school are starting to upload their graduation photos on Facebook and I can’t wait for my opportunity aahhh. Do you think anyone is thinking of you right now? Doubt it. When was the last time you cried really hard? I don’t remember if it was this Monday or Tuesday. My mom got annoyed over a small issue and, unsurprisingly, took it out on me and my siblings. The words thrown to us that night were a little harsher than usual so I spent my sweet time crying when everyone was asleep and drowning myself in soju. When did you last hug someone? Who was it? An hour or so ago; Kimi. Are you afraid of roller coasters, or have you never been on one? I went on this beginner-level-type roller coaster in Singapore thinking that I could at least handle that one. I was wrong, and I had a headache for the rest of the day. How's life going for you? Welp. All of my grades are in, so I’m pretty much a graduate now but I’d like to wait for the email from my college to come in before I make anything official. I feel weird about it, sad about it...I should’ve been having my graduation ceremony this Sunday. I’m proud of myself for finishing, of course, but that feeling will never feel full now. It’s just unfortunate that a virus ruined the dream scenarios I had with my dream school. Other than that I’m really just letting the days pass by at home, but at least I’m genuinely happy with my dogs. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? I do one of that at least once a week, I’m sure. Are you keeping a secret right now? Sure. Can you go an hour without talking? Easily. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past week? Yes, my dad pulled me close for a hug earlier tonight to thank me for handling the Cooper stuff today. Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No, it’s perfectly resting on them at the moment. Are your nails painted? If so, what colour? Nopes. Do you know anyone else with your name? Two people with the same spelling, four people who share my name in general. Do you think you'll ever get married? Do you want to? I will, I’ll make it happen lol. Which do you prefer: summer or fall? If we had fall, I think I’d like it more because summer’s my least favorite anyway. Who do you care about the most? My friends and my dogs.

[deilands]

The Good Guys and The Bad Guys

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. - Martin Luther King Jr. 

Have you ever taken a moment and looked back on your life when you were much younger? Perhaps you look through the lens of memory to when you were a high-school student or when you were still running around your house wearing a superman cape or in my case Thunder-Cat Underwear (Don’t you dare judge me, He-Man supporters.)

I’ve always been fortunate to have a great long-term memory. I can remember playing with my best friend when I was three or sweeping the dirt-floor of my barn-like clubhouse when I was seven. I can remember being bullied in fifth grade and I can remember the struggle of wanting to hold hands with my sixth-grade girlfriend. One thing that I can’t do, though, is place myself in the head-space of that young child those many years ago. All my analysis comes from where I am currently residing.

I’ve mentioned already that during high-school I co-founded a club called the Christian Highschool Movement. We were what you would call militantly inspired Christians. We wore fatigues one day a week, did prayer walks around the school grounds to set up ‘hedges of protection’ around the school, we had morning prayer every morning and we even set up a ten to fifteen-page charter with such rules as no dating, or no chewing gum (because that would break the school rules and God wouldn’t agree with such things).

Here I am in our club attire with my sister who might just kill me when she realizes I used this picture. To her credit, she thought we were weird. 

One of the things that I can remember about my thoughts were this: Everyone that was not a Christian was, by their very nature, less than us. I don’t mean that I felt superior in an overall way but that they were still ‘in sin’ and therefore dead. They had no moral compass, were doomed to be slaves to their sin, and were, in general, going to find themselves lonely and lacking for the rest of their lives unless we managed – through the help of God – to save them from themselves.

We would put ourselves out there every day – we’d leave Chic Tracts on desks, harass the girl who wore the “Recovering Christian” shirt by telling her that she may be a recovering Christian but God still loved her, walked out of classrooms because they played a movie that had a curse word in it. . . all with the idea that our job was to reclaim territory from an enemy – Satan himself – who is, if most Christians are being honest, more successful at taking territory than they are at reclaiming it.

As I got older, I learned something pivotal that would later act to destroy another pillar of my Christian faith. I found that as I met more and more people that charity and compassion, love and forgiveness, peace and wholeness, and these other facets of life that are claimed by most religions to be found only in the purview of their faith are found everywhere in the world.

Many of you have seen the bumper sticker, “No God, No Peace, Know God, Know Peace”. It’s a trite but telling statement about what many believe about their faith. I can remember conversations with others through high-school and into college discussing how even though these people look ok on the outside, on the inside they are really sad, depressed, and without hope.

They have a “God-Shaped Hole” in their heart and they try to fill it with everything they can but nothing works.

Sound familiar?

Let me ask you though. Have you ever talked to an atheist or an agnostic or a Buddhist monk or a myriad of other people who have their life together WITHOUT your God in the middle of it? I promise you they exist.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, isn’t it?

Morality doesn’t need God. Someone asked a question anonymously earlier and I thought it fit in well with this post.

“Can justice exist in the absence of moral law?”

To answer this question, we should examine a few things. First – what is justice? I think, in the context of the question, that justice is best described as receiving appropriate punishment or reward based on your actions. Personified, justice is often shown as a blindfolded woman holding scales. She has no say in the matter, it’s about balance.

Perfect justice, then, doesn’t care about the why it cares about the what. It doesn’t see that you stole a loaf of bread to feed your family or you stole that loaf of bread to sell on the market to buy drugs. It just looks to balance scales.

Many people who engage in apologetics (reasoned arguments for belief in something) use this as a way of proving the existence of God. How would we know right and wrong if someone didn’t teach it to us first? There must have been some supreme ‘moral law’ established by someone. Otherwise, we’d all just run around committing genocide and murder and raping people all the time.  

Wait. . .

That is what God did.

1)     He did order more genocides for more reasons than one can count – often accompanying the rape of whatever virgins were left. I must wonder at times how that happened. Did the babies get killed first or did they let the kids watch their mom and dad get slaughtered? Maybe they killed them at the same time. Did they start the rape before or after the rest of them were killed? Sorry – I digress.

2)     He did establish the system of blood sacrifice and self-mutilation to appease himself when men did stuff that he considered wrong. Remember in all of this – if God is all-powerful, all creative, all knowing, all everything, then everything that is created (including moral law and the concepts of justice) is created by him. We talk about his great love in sending his only son. The problem is that he is the one who made that system up – remember?

I want to stop here because if I keep listing then it ends up being a rant.

The point is that for most of human history, morality and justice were based on the perceptions of what God wanted people to do. When the Catholics and the Protestants were at their worst, they maimed and killed all in the name of their God and before you rail that God never told them to do that – how do you know? At what point in the Scripture does God back away from his divine right of slaughter, torture, and rape? And if he does – what caused the never-changing God to change? You can claim it was the death of Jesus but that’s never posited within Scripture at all. Actually – if you read the Revelation of Jesus Christ – it looks like it is quite the opposite.

My point is, if you look through history, the one thing that I see overall is that it is the growth and evolution of humanity that has brought about the most peace, justice, and moral law. It wasn’t the Christian God who promoted equality. No – through most of the Scripture there is a severe lack of equality both between men and women and between races as well. It wasn’t God who promoted the cessation of horrible violence and war. He gave the ten commandments and then broke them as often as he wanted to. It wasn’t God who healed the masses and brought food to the starving. It was the innovations of men and women – many of which had moved away from belief in a deity. In contrast, the Church has consistently fought against the growth of scientific and medical knowledge – especially when that knowledge seems to go against some Scriptural precept.

So where then does our moral law come from? I believe – and yes this is a belief and I might be wrong – that it has come from the same evolutionary process that has brought us to where we are now. It’s no accident that countries who begin to educate women in equal measure as much as men see a significant drop in the death rate and the birth rate. It’s no accident that the countries who label themselves as the least religious see the most peace. It’s no accident that as education and equality rise so does the increase of what most of humanity would consider morality.

Does this make any sense? If knowing God is knowing peace; if knowing God is knowing love; if knowing God is knowing fulfillment, then why is it that underneath His morality we see the most destruction of these same tenants?

The world is much more complicated than Christians and Non-Christians. It is much more complicated than the good guys and the bad guys. Morality isn’t simply the purview of the Christian church and moral goodness and justice exist outside of the precepts established by any religion. When I realized this, I was able to take off my fatigues. I was able to realize that – at least as far as the visible evidence demonstrates – morality is as much an evolution as is skin-color and eye-color and how tall or how short people are. I don’t need a God to tell me what is right and wrong because I’m learning that by living and by attempting to act with as much empathy as I can, I am growing as a moral person.

And perhaps it is this change of morality that best demonstrates that humanity isn’t growing more evil. Yes, morality changes – like all things are changing. Let us not forget that it was moral – according to God – to have slaves. Until it wasn’t. It was moral to beat your wife for disobedience. It was moral to stone your children when they didn’t behave. It was moral to do a lot of things that now we look at in horror. Perhaps this is the biggest argument for why I walked away from the Christian faith. When mankind can operate with more compassion than God can – why should I follow?

And for those of you who would say that he’s God – he can do what he wants. . .

I don’t really have anything I can say to that.

Thank you for reading.

[rei382]

ok ima be a little crazy. i’m asking every question of the Odd questions ask meme (if you’d like to answer them all)

Just a little bit crazy ;)

1. What is your favorite soup? Chicken soup. The simplest there is. Just water, chicken legs, loooooootttsss of carrots, a bit onion, maybe a potato. Throw in some salt. Done.

2. What is you favorite vegetable? Cherry tomatoes.

3. Coffee, tea, both, or neither? Hmmm.... Coffee in the morning, but I’m considering quitting. Calming tea in the evening, but I’m not sure about this one, either. I am more of a water type... just plain water.

4. Do you like wearing socks? Not especially, but I never wear sandals so I must always wear socks.

5. Do you sleep with socks on? hell no. I don’t even sleep with underwear on... (is that tmi? deal with it)

6. Your favorite piece of classical music? Depending on my mood. Basically, I love anything by Hans Zimmer. But I also love Arabesques by Debussy, and on the less good days, anything by Stravinsky.

7. An instrumental track you love? Call of Ktulu.

8. A set of song lyrics that really resonates with you?

I already answered with one previously, so I’ll give another (different) one this time

And we're all see through, just like glass And we can shatter just as fast That light's been burned out for a while, I still see it every time I pass It was lost in the coldness of my mind, behind a box of reasons why I never doubted it was there, just took a little time to find

9. If you could instantly be gifted with fluency in any language, which would you pick? Japanese, I think.Though I also always wanted to learn Danish and Icelandic, and the idea of knowing Latin is really appealing... and Korean... 

10. If you could instantly be gifted with fluency in any fictional language, which would you pick? I don’t really care for fictional languages... but I guess if it meant no effort I’d go for elfish? Is this even how you’d write that?

11. A song that makes you itch to dance even when you’re in public?

BTS - Idol

12. A song that you’ll always sing along to?

13. When was the last time you let yourself go and really jammed out to some music, and damn who sees/hears you? This....... is a really good question. I did that when I was in Japan (think 4am at karaoke drunk out of my ass with an equally drunk friend) but not since, and not before that, either... and that room was closed and just the two of us. And he was jammin just as hard.

14. What do you think is the weirdest thing you own? I don’t really own anything weird...

15. Which of the ‘Seven Deadly Sins’ do you think best represents you (can be several)? 

16. A type of fictional character you always fall for?

The antihero type, I think. Gimme a slightly dark, melancholic, quiet character. Give me Haplo (Death Gate Cycle). Give me Roy Mustang. Give me 6th book’s Draco Malfoy.

17. Do you prefer going to sleep with a light on or in complete darkness? Darkness.

18. Share a piece of art you consumed that really gripped you, and for what reason (could be a painting/drawing, photo, music, a scene in a movie or TV show, etc.)? [No reposts please, a link and/or description will suffice. Please respect and support artists.]

Why... I think... I really feel the feelings behind this song? I am not sure. But it’s been stuck with me since 2012.

19. Write and share a Haiku (could be about anything or theme suggestion by asker)!

なつだから

あつくてねむい

なんでここに

(isn’t it a masterpiece.... I was never very good with poems...)

20. If you made a smoothie right now, what would you like to put in it? Nothing, I hate smoothies...

21. How do you like your wine? White, sweet and bubbly

22. Do you smoke? nope

23. Put your music library or Spotify saved songs on shuffle and share the first three that come up!

1 - Ending Story?? by One Ok Rock

2 - I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmoth

3 - Idioglossia by Pain of Salvation

24. What’s something you think other people find odd about you? That I expect them to treat me like a human being. (on a slightly less depression related note, that I like winter, rain, and typically walk outside in the snow in short clothes)

25. Do you prefer films or TV/Netflix/other series? Series, movies are too much of a commitment. 

26. What is something you think you are good at, genuinely? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh............ I think I make the best Pasta with cream and mushroom sauce!

27. Do you like keeping houseplants? Not really. Too much effort.

28. What’s an ambition of yours that you haven’t been able to give up on, even when you tried? ............playing the guitar. Though I am very close to giving up and just... sell her. I think writing will also suit here. I still try to one day finish a full story...

29. Do you collect anything? If so, what? I collect those snow balls of cities they sell at souvenir shops. I also collect books and physical cds.

30. What makes you feel safe? My blanket. My music.

31. Do you see pictures/creatures/characters when you look at clouds? Yes.

32. What’s a form of art that you’d like to get more familiar with? Music.

33. Do you use the 24h or the 12h time format? Why? Depends. When talking, I’d use the 12h format. When writing, it is much more likely I’d use the 24h format. As for why... when speaking it’s easier to say 6 at the evening (we don’t really use pm/am in my country) than eighteen. But using the 24h format is clearer, especially since I work with flights etc.

34. What is something that you’d really like to do right now, in this very moment? I probably shouldn’t answer this one... but I guess I can go for something less dark and say that I’d like to sleep.

35. Name your favorite genres! Plural? So... Fantasy, romcom (yeah I know but it’s easy to digest)

36. Do you talk to plants? I talk to everything. I am rarely talked back to...

37. What is your preferred means of transportation (car, bus, train, bicycle, etc.)? Ideally, a train. But it doesn’t really work in my country, so a car. I really like walking, when possible, too.

38. What’s an adventure you’d like to go on? I can choose from anything in the world right? So I’d really like to go to another planet. 

39. What fascinates and scares you at the same time? Time. Space. The Ocean. Death. I’m not very original.

40. What’s a period of time you’d like to visit? If I can choose from absolutely everything, I’d choose the time dinosaurs roamed the earth. Fucking cool. If I have to choose time with humans, I’d like to go to 1800s.

[lillaxtrigger]

The ghostly maid: Pilot

This is my attempt at a TV Pilot for a show. I hope you enjoy. In a big mansion atop a hillside. Lived a rich, but a lonely teenager named Trevor. For as long as he can remember, he's been haunted by a skinny young ghost girl who acts as his maid named Jewely. Trevor had many servant, butlers, and maids. But Jewely and he have always had a special connection that felt like more than servent and master. This is because his parents died while at a young age. He felt devastated when they passed, but Jewely managed to help him out of his depression. Now he's on track and in training to run his fathers company. Morning rises on the manor. A young, blue, translucent, ghost girl wearing a maids outfit was floating through the halls. She saw a butler approach and she asks him, "Excuse me, Reginald. Is Trevor up yet." in a soothing, French accent. "Ah yes, the young master. I do believe he's still in his quarters." Reginald said. "At 12 in the afternoon? He's already lost half the day. I'll wake him up.". A young boy wearing nothing but his underwear was sleeping in his bed. The ghost girl phased into his room and said in a gentle tone "Oh Trevor, it's time to get up.". The boy did not hear her and continued sleeping. "Trevor, wake up." she said. The ghost girl was growing impatient as Trevor kept snoring. She gently lifted the boy from his bed and suddenly tossed him into the ceiling, making a human shaped hole in the roof. The boy came back down to earth with a thud. "Aggh! Jewely, you know I hate it when you wake me up like that." Trevor said as he rubbed his head. "Sorry, Trevor. I tried to get you up the normal way, but nothing seemed to work. You really are a heavy sleeper." Jewely said. "Why did you wake me up anyway? It's Saturday.". "Well, it's my firm belief that only vampires sleep in the afternoon. And last time I checked, you're not a vampire.". Ugh, I feel so tired." Trevor said in an exhausted tone. "Well, maybe you wouldn't be so sleepy if you didn't stay up all night, playing video games.". "Come on, I only get two days off from school and I want to enjoy myself before I go back to all those snobby teens and teachers." Trevor said as he looked through his closet. "Well you want to inherit your late fathers' company, right?" Jewely said. "Yeah.". "Well you're gonna have to get a good education to fill the position. And that school is the best in the state.". "I know, but just want to relax for one day, ya know? When I'm not at school, I'm in meetings and interviews. Just once I'd like to go outside and have fun...Like a regular teenager." he said. "...You know what, you're right. Put on your casual clothes. I think you should have at least one day to yourself. One day to go out there and be a normal teen for once. Put on some casual clothes. You're going out." Jewely said with confidence. "Really!? But what about my schedule keeper. I doubt he will let me go anywhere." Trevor said as he pulled out a green hoodie. "Oh don't worry, I'll take care of everything.". So using her ghostly powers, Jewely got Trevor past all the security and out of the mansion gates. "Thanks, Jewely! Your the best!" Trevor exclaimed, then ran off into the city. Trevor was walking on the streets when he went into a video game store. "Huh, so this a video game store is like.". Trevor said. He approached a someone in a red muscle shirt and black pants from behind and said "Excuse me, do know where the game "Evil souls" might be?". The boy in the red shirt turned around and said "Huh? No, I don't work here.". "Oh sorry. It's just that this is the first time that I've been in a video game store. I usually get my games as gifts or just buy them online. What game are you trying to get?" Trevor said. "Well I was trying to turn in my console for some money, but this place barely gives you any money for the newest consoles, even when they sell them for quadruple the price. It's insane!" the boy complained. "Really? That must suck.". "It does. I might as well just go to the arcade." the boy said, then was walking away. He stopped when heard Trevor ask him "What's an arcade?". "What? How old are you?". "...14?" Trevor responded. "You're telling me that your same age as I am and you've never been to an arcade, much less heard of one?" the boy said in disbelief. Trevor stood silent, ashamed to admit that what the boy said was right. "Alright, I'll take ya." the boy responded. "Wait, really!? Are you sure about that? I mean you barely know me.". "Meh, whatever. Got a lot of time on my hands. What's your name?". "Trevor. Yours?". "The names Pike. I'm gonna show a real good time" the boy said as he leads Trevor out of the store. Back at the mansion, Jewely was in Trevor's bedroom, patching up the hole she left on the roof. A nervous man struggling to hold a bunch of papers burst in the room, saying "Where's Trevor!?". "Hello Barly. Trevor is not in the mansion at this time. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep!" the ghostly maid said. "What do mean he's not here? He couldn't be at school. It's Saturday." Barly said. "I just thought that Trevor needed some time off from you keeping his schedule. Never giving the poor boy a break. So I sent him to town to have some time off.". Barly dropped all of his papers and said: "You did what?". "I mean really Barly, you make him do all kinds of stuff like boring gala's and interview meetings and barely gets anytime for himself. It's not fair." Jewely said. "You sent him into the city without supervision!" Barly shouted. "Oh...um..." Jewely said, realizing that she might have screwed up. "What's worse is that Trevor is supposed to have an important interview in an hour!". "That's the worst part? I sent Trevor into the city on his own without any direction or supervision, and your worried about him missing a stupid interview!?". "The "stupid interview" Trevor is supposed to have with the current CEO of the company. If he's not their at the interview on time, he'll lose the company and the family fortune along with it!" Barly said. A moment of silence passed by before Jewely bolted out of the mansion and in to the city. Barly heard cracking and saw dust come from above him. He looked up and was smacked on the head by a piece of wood, knocking the scheduler out. Trevor and Pike enter a building and before Trevor knew it, he was surrounded by flashing lights, blinking machines, and booping electronics. "Oh sweet lord. What kind of paradise did you lead me to?" Trevor said in aw. "It's just the arcade, dude." Pike answered. "I've never seen anything like this in my whole life. (starts to cry) It...it's beautiful.". Pike was starting to get uncomfortable, saying "Do you wanna play them?". "YES!" Trevor screamed, then rushed to one of the machines. He was fiddling with the buttons on the arcade cabinet, then said "Hey. I keep pressing the buttons on this thing, but nothings happening. Is it broken?". "Um, no. You need tokens to play the games in the arcade." Pike said. Trevor approached him and said "How do you get tokens?" in Pikes face, who said, "You pay for them.". "Oh, in that case..." Trevor said as he was digging around his pockets but then said: "Come on, don't tell me I left my wallet at home.". "Don't worry. I got a 10 we can split." Pike said as he put 10 dollars into the token machine, which deposited 20 gold tokens. As he handed half the tokens to Trevor, Pike said "Now only one token can play one game at a time or help you continue the game your playing if you lose. So choose what you wanna play wisely, cause I can't give you any more.". So Trevor tried out games of all kinds until he ran into a peculiar machine. When he started to play it, the boy was amazed at what he saw. "Hey Pike, you gotta check this game out. The graphics are so realistic!" Trevor said. Pike walked up to Trevor and saw the machine that he was playing and said "...That a pinball machine.". Looking at the machine, we see that Pike was right. "The ball is real." Pike said. Trevor was furiously pressing the side buttons and keeping the ball from dropping. Pike noticed that he was shaking the machine vigorously and said "Uh, hey. I wouldn't shake it so hard if I were you, you could make it-" before a buzzing noise came from the machine.Trevor noticed that the buttons were not working and the ball plummeted straight down into the pit. "Oh no! Did I break it!?" Trevor said in a panic. "Relax, you didn't break it. The game just shuts down when you tilt it. It keeps people from controlling the ball's momentum and cheating.". "Oh...so do I get my token back?". "Nope, since the game think you cheated, it doesn't give it back." Pike explained. "No-o! But I didn't cheat! I swear!" Trevor shouted, then started to pound the pinball machine. He was starting to draw unwanted attention, with Pike seeing an employee looking at them. "Hey, Trevor, let's forget this pinball game and play something else, alright? "Pike suggested. "(Sigh) Alright." Trevor said, calming himself down. Jewely was flying all around town, searching for Trevor. She said to herself "If I was Trevor. With no supervision, where would I want to go?". Then she remembers what she said to him in his bedroom, how he stayed up all night playing video games. "That's it! I just got to go somewhere where there are video games." Jewely said. She flew around until she saw a video game store. In the store, a woman was rudely yelling at the store clerk, shouting "What do you mean you can't replace this console!?". "Ma'am, I'm sorry. I can't replace your console for free. The warranty expired." the clerk said nervously. The woman was clearly losing her patience. "B-But I can offer you one at half off. At $199?" the clerk said. "This is unbelievable. Where's your manager?" the woman said. "I'm sorry, but he's out." the clerk said in a scared tone. The woman walked to the front door and was about to exit. Until Jewely accidentally slammed the door on her, knocking her out. "Oops. Excuse me miss." the ghost said. She floated to the clerk, who stood stiff and silent. "Sorry to be a bother, but have you seen a young boy with a green hoodie come in your store?" Jewely politely asked. The clerk screamed in utter terror. They kept playing at the arcade. Trevor was noticing pink pieces of paper coming out of the machines when he's done playing. "Hey, Pike. What are these pink slips of paper coming out of the games?" Trevor asked. "Those are tickets. They come out of the cabinets when you win games. The better you play, the more comes out." Pike answered. "What are they for?". "They're used to get prizes at that prize corner over there." Pike said. Pike pointed to a shelf full of random prize. Including a moped. "Hold on, have you not been collecting them?" Pike added. Trevor quickly checked all the games he played and saw that there were no tickets. He then got depressed, saying "Aw man...". Pike comforted him by saying "Hey, it's okay. You can just play more and earn back more tickets.". "But I don't have any more tokens. Do you have any left?". "No...but I do have some tickets. I can get you something." Pike said as he pulled out a wad of tickets. "What! But you earned all those tickets yourself. You should get something you want.". "I don't mind.". "No no. You earned something for yourself.". "...How about this. I'll get something that we can both use." Pike suggested "Really? Like what?" Trevor asked. "Don't know, let's have a look.". Both of them looked at the prize counter and saw a bunch of prizes with various ticket prices. Pike looked around until he saw some walkie talkies on the shelf. "How about those?" he said, pointing to them. "Walkie talkies? Why? I can just give you my number." Trevor said. "I don't have a phone.". "How come?". "My dad is a cheapskate. He won't even spare me enough money to buy a decent pair of shoes for me.". Trevor looked at Pike in pity. The clerk of the prize counter grabbed the walkie talkies and said: "That'll be thirty tickets.". Pike counted up his tickets and said: "No, I'm 5 short.". Trevor thought for a second, then pulled out the tickets that he just won. "Hey, I got 5 more." Trevor said. They got the walkie Talkies and left the arcade. Jewely was flying around the sky, saying "Well that guy wasn't any help. I guess I'm so used to being in the mansion and talking to people who treat me normally that I forgot that I'm a ghost. Oopsie doops.". She noticed the arcade up ahead and was about to descend into the building, when she stopped herself and thought about her appearance. "Hmm. I can't go in this arcade like this. I might cause another panic." Jewely said as she looked around. She then spotted a young woman across the street and said "Ah ha. That might work.", then rushed behind the woman, entering her. She spasmed for a bit before the woman's eyes turned blue. Jewely possessed the woman and entered the arcade. She went up to the prize counter clerk and said to him "Excuse me sir. Did you happen to see a boy in this arcade around here? He looks about 14 and should be wearing a green hoodie. I was watching him, but he seemed slip from me.". "Um, yeah. He just left with some kid in a red shirt. Do you want me to call the cops?" the clerk said. "Oh that won't be necessary, cherie. I think I can take it from here." she said. She walked out of the arcade and didn't come out of the woman until she was around the corner. After Jewely came out of her, the woman tasted something in her mouth and said "Why do I taste blueberries?". Pike and Trevor were at a near empty ice cream parlor. Trevor was blankly staring at the cone in his hands, with balls of frosted milk on top. "What is this?" he asked Pike. "It's ice cream, man. Seriously, who hasn't heard of ice cream?" Pike said. "...How do I eat it? Do I use a fork?". "You use your mouth. You lift the ice cream up to your mouth and take a bite out of it.". Trevor did what Pike said and ate a piece of the ice cream. Upon tasting the treat, Trevor's mind figuratively exploded, then he started frantically eating the rest of the cone. "I wouldn't eat that so fast if I were you." Pike warned him. But by the time he finished talking, Trevor finished eating and said "Why?". "Um..." Pike said. A couple seconds passed before Trevor grabbed his own head and screamed in pain. "Brain freeze." Pike said. "How do I make this stop!?" Trevor screamed. "It'll go away in a second.". Sure enough, Trevor's pain stopped and he said "Augh. That hurt. Why did it hurt?". "That's called a brain freeze dude. It happens when you eat ice cream too fast.". "Uh, that was painful. Maybe I should-" Trevor said but stopped when he heard someone call his name. He rushed out outside with Pike following him. He followed the voice until she ran into his ghostly made, who hugged him, saying "Oh I'm so glad that I found you.". "Hey Trevor, where ya goin? I-" Pike said, but stopped when he saw Jewely. "Oh, Jewely. This is Pike. He's a new friend that I made. Pike, this is Jewely. She is my maid...and a ghost." Trevor said. "Wait, you can see her too? Oh thank goodness. I thought my medication was wearing off." Pike said. "Wait, what medication?" Trevor asked. "Trevor! We need to get you back to the mansion and fast!" Jewely said. "Are you kidding me!? I've actually had more fun than I had in a long time. And I've actually made a human friend. I'm actually enjoying myself." Trevor stated. "I know. I'm sorry. But you need to get back before-". "Before what?". "Before you lose your family company and your fortune." Jewely said. "What..." Trevor said in shock. "You're supposed to have an interview with the current CEO of the company. If you don't get back on time, the CEO will claim the company and you'll be out on the streets." Jewely said. "Oh... oh no." Trevor said. "Hold up, you're loaded!?" Pike said in surprise. "Yeah. I'm the-" Trevor tried to explain, but Jewely interrupted him, saying "We don't have time to explain! We have 5 minutes before the interview starts!". "Oh man! We need to book it then." Trevor said. Jewely grabbed Trevors hands and floated off. "I'll explain later Pike! I'll see ya!" Trevor shouted as he flew off. "Huh, that's pretty neat." Pike said. He then saw another ghost beside him, all slimy and corpsey, saying "I will eat your soul!". "Whelp, time for another dose." Pike said as he took out a pill bottle from his pocket and popped a pill in his mouth. As soon as he swallowed it, the evil ghost went away. Jewely was flying as fast as she could as she was carrying Trevor. "3 minutes left! We're not gonna make it!" Trevor said. "No...but you will." Jewely said. "What?". "Do you trust me?". "Yeah, I trust you. But what are you gonna...Oh no. No no no no no! Jewely, there has to be another way! There's gotta be!" Trevor said. "I'm sorry Trevor. It's the only way." Jewely with regret. The ghost girl lifted her master up upon her shoulders and threw him into the sky like a javelin. He took off into the atmosphere, disappearing with a twinkle. In the mansion, Barly was pacing back and forth in a nervous wreck, saying "Where are they? One more minute and the and the CEO will leave! Ahhh!". He then stopped pacing when he heard faint screaming. He was confused when the screaming got louder. Trevor crashed through the roof and landed with a loud thud. "Trevor?" Barly said. The boy quickly got up and said "Barly! Where is the interview room!?". "It's right this way! Hurry!" Barly screamed. Both of them rushed off in a massive hurry. Jewely made it the mansion 10 minutes later. She saw Barly next to a door and said to him "What happened? Did he make it in time?". Then a couple of men in business suits came out of the door, not saying a single word from their departure. Then Trevor came out a moment later. "Trevor! Did you make it in time?" she asked. Trevor sulked his head down. Jewely gasped, and said "...I'm sorry that you didn't make it. But I want you to know that I'll stand by you, even in your times of hardship. I'll never abandon you.". "What? No, I made it. Passed the interview too." Trevor said. "Really? That's wonderful! But why are you so sad?" Jewely asked. "Well, it's just that...if all my meetings and stuff are this important, then I can't really have time for myself, can I? Barly, I'm sorry that I snuck out and made you panic. I'll abide by your schedule from now on." Trevor said in a sad tone, then walked off. Jewely watched as her master sulk off. "Well. That was certainly a close call. But I'm glad things are going back to normal." Barly said, then started to walk off. He stopped when he saw Jewely got in front of him. She was staring at him with squinted eyes and her hands on her hips. "What?" Barly said. "All he wanted was to be a kid. At least for one day. But thank to you and your stupid schedule, he might never get that chance again." Jewely said. "But...but his schedules already booked as it is. I can't change it enough to give him time. If his parent were still around, he might get some time.". "Well you are going to change it. Because even if he almost lost everything, he deserved that day off. He actually made a friend, a real friend. And I'm not gonna let you take that away from him. He deserves to be a kid!" Jewely said. "Well what do think I should do?" Barly asked her. Night fell onto the mansion. Trevor was on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Jewely knocked on the door and entered and said "Bonjour Trevor!". "Oh, hi Jewely." Trevor said. "I have some good news for you. I had a talk with Barly and got him to arrange your schedule.". "What?" Trevor said as he got up from his bed. "Now you have weekends off to do whatever you want.". "Really!? Thank you Jewely! Your the best!" Trevor said as he hugged the ghost maid. Jewely hugged back as she smiled. "Now get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow, doing whatever you want. Goodnight." Jewely said as she left the room. Trevor climbed back into bed and pulled out a walkie talkie. He turned it on and said "Hey Pike, are you there? Can you hear me?". Seconds of static pass until Trevor heard a voice on the other side say "Yep, I'm here. Guess these things work after all. Hey, what was the deal with Jewely, that ghost girl? Is she haunting you or something?" Pike asked. "Well no. She can go wherever she wants to, but she just hangs around my house, doing maid stuff. I don't know why. Not that I'm complaining.". "Where'd she come from?". "I'm not sure. I've known her all my life. Yet she never said where she's from.". "Can't you ask her?". "Jeez Pike. That might sound a little personal. She is a ghost. Asking a ghost how she died is a little uncomfortable, ain't it?...Say, do you have any plans for tomorrow.".

[chara-killer-bear]

All

1. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HELD HANDS WITH?

Last person I held hands with is my fam Marco because he was leading me outta ROP after catching me at a bad time lmao

2. ARE YOU OUTGOING OR SHY?

Can I say both? o;v;o

3. WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING?

@static–things ewe

4. ARE YOU EASY TO GET ALONG WITH?

I’m not sure tbh– 

5. IF YOU WERE DRUNK WOULD THE PERSON YOU LIKE TAKE CARE OF YOU?

Hopefully if they don’t get drunk themselves–

6. WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO?

Let’s see-

- at least sweet and honest 

- always there for me no matter what

- ultimate memes

7. DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP TWO MONTHS FROM NOW?

@static–things ewe

8. WHO FROM THE OPPOSITE GENDER IS ON YOUR MIND?

Either Marco or Blake

9. DOES TALKING ABOUT SEX MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE?

Well no shit 

10. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH?

@static–things tbh

11. WHAT DOES THE MOST RECENT TEXT THAT YOU SENT SAY?

r ip my soul “don’t you mean your selfie”

12. WHAT ARE YOUR 5 FAVORITE SONGS RIGHT NOW?

- Jenny by Studio Killers

- Can’t Sleep Love by Pentatonix

- Pretend by Bad Suns

- Rather Be by Clean Bandit

- Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

13. DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR?

Nothing really ‘cause I don’t really play with my hair that much :”)

14. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LUCK AND MIRACLES?

If I’m lucky enough to meet the bae, then ye I do believe in luck and miracles~

15. WHAT GOOD THING HAPPENED THIS SUMMER?

- August 1, 2016

- Joined a whole bunch of AUs

- So many memes going on and roasting bigoted ass 

16. WOULD YOU KISS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED AGAIN?

I would likely stab their sucker before they even lay a hand on me. 

17. DO YOU THINK THERE IS LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS?

It’s possible- I mean, there’s so many unknown plants out there in the galaxy and we just haven’t discovered them or they haven’t discovered us–

18. DO YOU STILL TALK TO YOUR FIRST CRUSH?

Let’s see- my first crush was a guy named Aaron, and hell no. 

19. DO YOU LIKE BUBBLE BATHS?

It’s sad I never had one before :”)

20. DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEIGHBORS?

Let’s see- 

1st neighbor- Grandma (meh)

2nd neighbor- Vy, the girl who goes to the same high school as me (meh)

3rd neighbor- Loudy af Latinos and had the police on their butts twice or thrice (nah)

4th neighbor- Basically Vy’s uncle I assume (nah, considering they keep blocking the driveway way too many times)

5th neighbor- Another Latino family that I haven’t quite known yet (They chill, plus their parrot and their dog is cute)

6th neighbor- Latina woman (I honestly feel sad for her, considering she’s schizophrenic, her college counselor is an ass, her boyfriend steals money from her, and her mom is a rude lady. She honestly doesn’t deserve all that, and despite all her troubles, she’s a really sweet lady.)

7th neighbor- Bella and her family (I hate them and especially Bella. Honestly, Bella used to be kind, like she let me pet her dog before when me and my mom first moved in. But now I don’t see her dog anymore, and Bella acted like I never even existed. Like there was that one time at night where Bella was talking to my mom about wigs and it was around 10-12 at night, plus I was holding all the groceries, so it should be a dead ass clue that I looked like shit, right? WELP, Bella never even batted an eye at me, when I waved hi she didn’t even acknowledge my existence, and basically kept talking to my mom for at least 1-2 straight hours before my mom actually opened the door to our apartment so I can drop down the fucking groceries–) 

21. WHAT ARE YOU BAD HABITS?

Welp-

- Procrastination

- Sleeping

- Anxiety

The OT3 PSA

22. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRAVEL?

Texas so I can see the bae

Or probs New York because honestly there’s so many places that look especially wonderful to look at~

23. DO YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES?

Sometimes but not all the time- usually it’s started anxiety: it either starts from-

- someone breaks my trust > anxiety > trust issues

- someone says something > starts to question myself or others > anxiety > trust issues

24. FAVORITE PART OF YOUR DAILY ROUTINE?

Talking to the bae~

25. WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY ARE YOU MOST UNCOMFORTABLE WITH?

Uncomfortable with? I mean, I guess I could say my arms or my face–

26. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP?

Talk to the bae, stalk Tumblr, and go on from there :”)

27. DO YOU WISH YOUR SKIN WAS LIGHTER OR DARKER?

Lighter

28. WHO ARE YOU MOST COMFORTABLE AROUND?

@static–things​ @aph-slovakia​ 

other than that, mostly my IRL friends such as Marco, Blake, Glend, etc. 

29. HAVE ANY OF YOUR EX’S TOLD YOU THEY REGRET BREAKING UP?

Well there’s always ex from hell, considering he stalked me a good amount of time after we broke up and kinda is atm

30. DO YOU EVER WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Maybe

31. IS YOUR HAIR LONG ENOUGH FOR A PONY TAIL?

Yeeeeee–

I mean, it’s up to my posterior–

32. WHICH CELEBRITIES WOULD YOU HAVE A THREESOME WITH?

First off, ew 

Second off, no

33. SPELL YOUR NAME WITH YOUR CHIN.

sally jasn cvhhhhhhhhhhhesd

34. DO YOU PLAY SPORTS? WHAT SPORTS?

No sports here :”)

35. WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE WITHOUT TV OR MUSIC?

Without TV– it’s not like I watched TV in the first place anyway :”)

36. HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE AND NEVER TOLD THEM?

Meh- what of it?

It is what it is and I’m content with who I’m with now~

37. WHAT DO YOU SAY DURING AWKWARD SILENCES?

I s2g there was this awkward silence in a group and I whispered “wait so everyone is thinking of the same plan- we gonna do the murder?” and then the group blew up :”)

38. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM GIRL/GUY?

@static–things​

39. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE STORES TO SHOP IN?

Starbucks or Target– 

40. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?

Visit the bae~

41. DO YOU BELIEVE EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE?

I mean, ye

I can’t waste a chance that they changed, and if they didn’t, I can always stab them in the ass

42. IF YOUR BEING EXTREMELY QUIET WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Either depression, crying, sleepy, hiding from someone, lost in deep thought, etc. 

43. DO YOU SMILE AT STRANGERS?

Sometimes– Like if they look like they’re in a good mood and are friendly enough to wave at me, I just give ‘em a friendly nod and even a smile back–

44. TRIP TO OUTER SPACE OR BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN?

O U T E R S P A C E LET’S GO 

45. WHAT MAKES YOU GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?

Either my mom yelling at me to do something and rarely my own will either because I feel really hungry, feel disgusting and want to wash my face repeatedly, or roam around the apartment and enjoy the silence. 

46. WHAT ARE YOU PARANOID ABOUT?

Honestly many things but one of the most notorious ones would be people hating me, fucking up, etc. 

47. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HIGH?

Nah–

48. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DRUNK?

Nah–

49. HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING RECENTLY THAT YOU HOPE NOBODY FINDS OUT ABOUT?

Maybe

50. WHAT WAS THE COLOUR OF THE LAST HOODIE YOU WORE?

Blue~

51. EVER WISHED YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE?

Honestly one of my top scenarios, but hella scary, so it’s a maybe–

52. ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?

- procrastinating

53. FAVOURITE MAKEUP BRAND?

There’s no specific brand I have in mind tbh– Like ye, I use lipstick every now and then, but I don’t really pay much attention to the brand, practically speaking I rarely use makeup in the first place–

54. FAVOURITE STORE?

I would say Target or Starbucks

55. FAVOURITE BLOG?

@static–things​

56. FAVOURITE COLOUR?

Redish-pink or a really dark shade of blue~

57. FAVOURITE FOOD? 

SPAM MASUBI, DUMPLINGS, PIZZA, CANDIED SWEET POTATOES, PALABOK

58. LAST THING YOU ATE?

Pizza :”)

59. FIRST THING YOU ATE THIS MORNING?

Crispy Noodles- the one they sell at Panda Express as a snack

60. EVER WON A COMPETITION? FOR WHAT?

There was like this hula-hoop competition we had a lot in 3rd grade where the one who hula-hoops the last out of everyone wins and gets candy and usually it was my friends who would always win; however in the very last hula-hoop competition I was the last one standing and I honestly still feel that victory every time I think of that memory–

61. BEEN SUSPENDED/EXPELLED? FOR WHAT?

… h eh- I mean, ye, I did, but p sure you know the story–

62. BEEN ARRESTED? FOR WHAT?

Technically not arrested, more like caught and got scot-free

63. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? 

@static–things​

64. TELL US THE STORY OF YOUR FIRST KISS?

…ew

65. ARE YOU HUNGRY RIGHT NOW?

Not really, considering I’m barely finishing breakfast :”)

66. DO YOU LIKE YOUR TUMBLR FRIENDS MORE THAN YOUR REAL FRIENDS?

Meh– so so–

Tbh most of my Tumblr friends I either get in an argument with or they leave me behind, and I only have a good few of them who still talks to me to this day.

However, my IRL friends I can see and hear whenever I go to school, and I can go do after school adventures with them, but it invites drama, and once you go into drama you really can’t escape it because you have to face them- IRL. 

So in other words, it’s a so-so situation–

67. FACEBOOK OR TWITTER?

Facebook.

68. TWITTER OR TUMBLR?

Tumblr. 

69. ARE YOU WATCHING TV RIGHT NOW?

Nah–

70. NAMES OF YOUR BESTFRIENDS? 

- Jessica

- Blake

- Emely

- @static--things

71. CRAVING SOMETHING? WHAT?

Craving sleep most of the time and maybe even bae cuddles but sh

72. WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR TOWELS?

At the moment, purple–

72. HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH?

0. 1 at most–

73. DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?

Sometimes :”)

74. HOW MANY STUFFED ANIMALS DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE?

More than 10 that’s for sure :”)

75. FAVOURITE ANIMAL?

Penguin or a Panda :”)

76. WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR UNDERWEAR?

wtf

77. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?

Vanilla~

78. FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR?

VANILLA

79. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black

80. WHAT COLOUR PANTS?

Black

81. FAVOURITE TV SHOW?

One of my alltime favorites would be Whose Line Is It Anyway

82. FAVOURITE MOVIE?

Coraline

83. MEAN GIRLS OR MEAN GIRLS 2?

Mean Girls–

84. MEAN GIRLS OR 21 JUMP STREET?

I would say Mean Girls for now, considering I haven’t watched 21 Jump Street before :”)

85. FAVOURITE CHARACTER FROM MEAN GIRLS?

I don’t know– I guess the main protagonist..?

86. FAVOURITE CHARACTER FROM FINDING NEMO?

DORY

87. FIRST PERSON YOU TALKED TO TODAY?

@static–things​

88. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO TODAY?

@static–things​ :”)

89. NAME A PERSON YOU HATE?

Jonah, Steven, etc. 

90. NAME A PERSON YOU LOVE?

Luther~

91. IS THERE ANYONE YOU WANT TO PUNCH IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW?

Well other than Jonah, I would love to punch someone in the ballsack, but can’t

92. IN A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE?

Technically, considering it’s a kinda a game of cat and mouse but much more dangerous, but there’s no way the cat can catch the mouse so it okey

93. HOW MANY SWEATPANTS DO YOU HAVE?

None

94. HOW MANY SWEATERS/HOODIES DO YOU HAVE?

A LOT

95. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Last movie I watched would probs be There Will Be Blood

96. FAVOURITE ACTRESS?

I don’t really have one :”)

97. FAVOURITE ACTOR?

Don’t have one either :”)

98. DO YOU TAN A LOT?

Nah, although I tan easily–

99. HAVE ANY PETS?

My cat named Peter + goldfish

100. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

Happy but a tinge of depression slipping here and there, but still otherwise fine uvu

101. DO YOU TYPE FAST?

Let’s see- 

Just retook the Typing Test and I got 72.9 WPM

102. DO YOU REGRET ANYTHING FROM YOUR PAST?

A lot of things really–

103. CAN YOU SPELL WELL?

Welcome to the Penumbra, my dear Traveler. We hope you enjoy your stay. 

104. DO YOU MISS ANYONE FROM YOUR PAST?

A few particular individuals, one of them I know for sure I’ll never hear from them again. I just hope the rest are doing fine like I am.

105. EVER BEEN TO A BONFIRE PARTY?

Nope :”)

106. EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART?

I’m not entirely sure–

107. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A HORSE?

Boy I wish I had :”)

108. WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING?

Doing homework and working on this art project but procrastination is kicking me so go me :”)

109. IS SOMETHING IRRITATING YOU RIGHT NOW?

A bunch of things a particular person said to me during a call but it’s slowly fading away– 

110. HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE SO MUCH IT HURT?

Nah– Well kinda– But it was a few months ago and shibam the problem cleared anyway–

111. DO YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES?

Not at the moment–

112. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU CRIED IN FRONT OF?

Well, excluding over the internet, I would say Marco–

But if not, then it would be Luther

113. WHAT WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD NICKNAME?

Sophie–

114. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUT OF YOUR PROVINCE/STATE?

Only for a week-

It was a history field trip we had in 8th grade where we got to travel all the way across the country to where New York, Virginia, Pennsylvania, and other states were at and it was amazing~

115. DO YOU PLAY THE WII?

Nope :”)

I don’t even have a game console :”)

116. ARE YOU LISTENING TO MUSIC RIGHT NOW?

Ye–

117. DO YOU LIKE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP?

H ELL YE S

118. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?

Not particularly, but I would say orange chicken is delicious~

119. FAVOURITE BOOK?

I would still say either One Hundred Years of Solitude or The Adventures of Edward Tulane

120. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?

Nah

121. ARE YOU MEAN?

Maybe, I’m not sure myself– It depends on what others think of me–

122. IS CHEATING EVER OKAY?

No. It’s heart-breaking- 

123. CAN YOU KEEP WHITE SHOES CLEAN?

Nah– Not like I always want it to be clean in the first place–

124. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?

Maybe and maybe not

125. DO YOU BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE?

Probs not anymore

126. ARE YOU CURRENTLY BORED?

Nah–

127. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

The bae and being with them

Joining AUs, spreading my ideas, eating sweet things, being with friends, etc. 

128. WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME?

Ye– I’d probs change it to Sally or Ally, maybe even Shawn if I felt like it

129. WHAT YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

Aquarius~

130. DO YOU LIKE SUBWAY?

Can’t say for sure, since I probs never rode a subway before :”)

131. YOUR BESTFRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX LIKES YOU, WHAT DO YOU DO?

Bleh- 

I mean, if I just heard that from just a rumor, then I’d let them be

However if they told me in person, then I’d probs just let them down easily and then hope for the best they don’t become a stalker but continue as if everything’s normal

132. WHO’S THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH?

I s2g I think some of these are repeat questions-

@static–things

133. FAVOURITE LYRICS RIGHT NOW?

From the song I’m listening to now-

“I’m never going down, I’m never giving up,

I’m never gonna leave, so put your hands up

If you like me, then say you like me”

134. CAN YOU COUNT TO ONE MILLION?

I can try– I’d probably get side-tracked–

135. DUMBEST LIE YOU EVER TOLD?

“o ye I’m at my grandma’s”

136. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

Almost every time open–

I feel like I can’t breathe or it’s too stuffy or I find it creepy whenever the door is closed

I mean, on some occasions such as wanting privacy and such the like, I don’t mind having the door closed-

But most of the time I prefer the door open

137. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Sadly 4′9″ to 4′11″ :”)

138. CURLY OR STRAIGHT HAIR?

Curly hair seems pretty~

139. BRUNETTE OR BLONDE?

Both?

140. SUMMER OR WINTER?

BOTH

141. NIGHT OR DAY?

Night~

142. FAVOURITE MONTH?

Either January or July

143. ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN?

Technically nah- since I eat chicken a lot :”)

144. DARK, MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE?

White chocolate~

145. TEA OR COFFEE?

Tea!

146. WAS TODAY A GOOD DAY?

Today’s a lovely day~

147. MARS OR SNICKERS?

Snickers– I never quite tasted a Mars bar before–

148. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE QUOTE?

“I reject your reality and replace it with my own.”

149. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

Ye–

150. GET THE CLOSEST BOOK NEXT TO YOU, OPEN IT TO PAGE 42, WHAT’S THE FIRST LINE ON THAT PAGE?

“That was no good.”

PLEASE ASK ME THESE

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DO IT!!!

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