#i have comms open so i've been busy

[skinnedred]

hi again

[real-life-cloud]

im GOING to write today ........ i WILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[strawberrysweater]

sorry to my beloved friends and mutuals who post art n stuff my queue ran out and i've barely been on tumblr but i Have seen your posts i Will reblog them and yell in thr tags as soon as i can !!!!!!!!!!!!

[lizhaoyu]

Why so shy? PART 2

(A/N): Hello, gaymers. I'm back at it again. Sorry for the late update, I've been busy malding in VALORANT lately. Thank you for all of the support in part 1, it means the world to me. Now, some of the things here are referenced to that one casual Iso fic. Huge thanks to whoever wrote that, I'm in love with that fic. I physically gagged and cringed at the part where I made the reader channel their idk to do sum shit I can't do this. Enjoy thirsting, gaymers.)

(I also accept requests, please request about Iso)

(Iso x Shy!GN!Reader)

Part 1

Part 2 (You are here.)

Part 3

Part 4

Nervous.

That's exactly what you were feeling right now.

Not nervous for yourself, but for Iso.

Today marks the day of Iso's first ever mission in the VP. To your advantage, you were assigned as Iso's lead comms.

You were busying yourself with taking breathing exercises in KJ's command room.

Iso was gonna be hearing your voice, following your orders and intel, counting on you to tell him what to do at the right moment and he's probably gonna fall inlo-

A knock on the metal door of the command room broke your trail of thought. It opened, revealing Iso.

"Hey." Iso walked in with a small smile, nodding to you.

You look up from the mission brief that Brimstone gave you and look at Iso. This time, you actually managed to train yourself to try and not stutter in front of Iso. You're not exactly there yet, but you're trying your best.

"Hi, Iso. Ready for your mission?" You offer him a small smile, feeling a little nervous for him and his safety.

"Yeah. I made sure to read the brief at least five times." Iso nods.

"Better safe that sorry." You smile, typing in the last command needed to start the mission.

"Right, uh... I just wanted to say that I wish you a very good luck on your first mission." You try to smile despite your nervousness.

"Thank you, but... I don't understand why I have to do this mission alone." Iso sighs, shaking his head.

"Brimstone says that he thinks that you're strong enough to handle it yourself, but I think he just doesn't want to admit that everyone is busy with everything else, so they can't go with you." You stifle a laugh.

"But I agree with Brimstone, whether or not he thinks you're strong enough. Your abilities are really powerful and you handle yourself pretty well. I think you got this." You smile at him, trying your best to hide your blush.

"Thanks a lot for your encouragements, it helps a lot." Iso smiles.

"And our training sessions, too. They're really helping me improve." Iso adds.

That alone was enough to make your heart race faster than normal.

"A-Anyway, I'll be the lead, and only, comms for today's mission. If you have any questions, calling for backup, or need help locating the target, I can help." You explain, turning to the table behind you.

You carefully took an earpiece from the table, turning to Iso and offering it to him. He follows your gentleness, taking the earpiece with careful hands.

In the process, his fingers brushed against yours. It was enough to give you butterflies on your stomach.

"This is what we use to communicate to each other from great distances. You can talk to me or hear me through it." You explain, snapping out of your thoughts.

"We have two trackers on you. One on your phone that we requested you to add, and one on your earpiece. Although you can turn off your location trackers, I advise you not to, just in case." You smile at him, hoping he'd understand what you were trying to say.

"I got it. Thanks for explaining it to me." Iso nods, taking off his left earbud and replacing it with the earpiece.

You took note of his actions, observing him closely.

"By the way, if I did ask for backup later on..." Iso paused.

"Yeah?" You tilt your head with a smile.

"Since you said that everyone else is busy, will you come?" Iso asks.

IS HE IMPLYING SOMETHING????????? AM I JUST DELUSIONAL OR WHAT, you thought.

"W-Well, yeah. I'm still responsible for you and your safety, according to Brimstone." You nod, pushing the thoughts to the back of your head.

"I'm glad." Iso nods, smiling.

WHAT DOES THAT MEANNNNNNNNNNNN???, you thought.

"Can I only talk to you about anything related to the mission?" Iso asks.

"Not necessarily, as long as you're not in the middle of a gunfight." You shook you head.

"Great. Uh, one last thing." Iso rubs the back of his head.

"After my mission, do you think we can go out for hotpot? My treat." Iso smiles, looking at you.

WHATWHATWHAT OHMYGOD IS THIS REAL FUCKFUCKFUCK, your thoughts raced.

You had to take a moment to process what Iso just asked you. Was this some kind of prank? Maybe Phoenix told him to prank you? Was this just a friendly gesture-

"You okay? You don't have to say yes, or we can get different food. Anything you like will do." Iso smiles.

"I- No! Hotpot is fine... A-Anyway, yeah, we can go out after your mission as long as you come back unscathed." You nod, your face turning visibly red.

"Then, I'm looking forward to it." Iso smiles.

"A-Anyway... The jet should be ready to transport you to the mission site. You can head to the departure wing now." You look back to the screen.

"I'm going, then. Thanks for your help." Iso nods.

You look back at Iso and smiled.

"Good luck on your mission, Iso." You nod as Iso walked out of the room.

You turn back and sat on the chair, all while letting out a shaky sigh. Was it just a friendly gesture or something more?

Suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted by Iso's voice in your earpiece.

"Hey, can you hear me?" Iso asked through the comms.

You snap back to reality and let out a small huff.

"Yeah, loud and clear." You nod to yourself.

"Right, thanks. I'm in the jet right now, heading to the location." Iso says.

"I got it. I'm writing the report for Brimstone right now." You reply, typing out a document.

After a moment of silence, Iso speaks up.

"Hey, when you first arrived in the VP, how was it?" Iso asks.

"Huh? Well... It wasn't really easy." You say, recalling back to your newbie days in the VP.

"I was kind of an outcast and everyone thought I was creepy and stuff." You shrug, still typing.

"Why's that?" Iso asked.

"Well, just like Omen and Fade, I have abilities related to shadows or darkness." You paused.

"I was really quiet and stuff, so some were afraid to even look my way, because I can just merge myself with their shadow without them knowing." You shrug.

"But hey, I managed. Omen became my very first friend. He understood me." You smile.

"Wow... Omen? That's kind of him." You hear Iso hum.

"How about your first mission? How did it go?" Iso asked.

"Back then, I had little to no control of my abilities. I was merging myself to shadows back and forth because I didn't know how to control it." You laugh.

"But I learned how to control it, thanks to Omen. He knew exactly how I felt and why, and he taught my how to control it, even if he can't control his own." You sigh.

"My first mission went really well because Brimstone paired me up with Omen. He was really helpful, teaching me how to defuse the spike." You explain.

"Anyway... How about you? How are you feeling? This is your first mission, after all." You ask.

"I was kind of hesitant when Brimstone first told me." Iso says.

"But when I found out that you're gonna work closely with me, I feel much better." You could almost hear Iso smiling. Wait, was that even possible?

You could feel your heart beating faster and your face turning red. Surely, he didn't mean it that way. Maybe it was just a friend thing?

"I think I can handle this mission." Iso continues.

You quickly shook off the lingering feeling.

"I'm sure you'll do great." You nod.

"By the way, what kind of milk tea do you like? Sorry, that was a random question." Iso chuckles.

"Me? Well, I like heavy oolong milk tea with tapioca pearls." You paused for a moment.

"Jett and Phoenix often made fun of me for being so basic, but I think it's really good." You smile.

"What about you? What do you like?" You ask.

"I actually like the same thing. I get it all the time." Iso replied.

"Whoa, really?" You smile.

"We have a lot of things in common, hey?" Iso says.

"That makes me really happy." Iso added.

It was starting to get hard trying not to think of this as a gesture of interest and not just for friends.

"Oh, we're landing now." Iso says.

"Be careful, Iso. You'll just need to eliminate the Omega Earth Radiants and defuse the spike if planted." You nod.

"You'll come if I ever need help, right?" Iso asked again.

"Yes, I will. Don't worry." You assure him.

"Okay, I'm heading out now." Iso says.

For the past hour, you've been helping Iso locate the enemies and giving him instructions. You watched his location attentively while writing a report, all while talking to Iso.

"Iso, there's one enemy left. Do you think you can defuse the spike until half?" You ask.

"Yeah, I think so. I'll try." Iso replies.

On the other end, you can hear Iso running to the spike. You heard beeping, which means that he was defusing now.

"Don't let your guard down. Don't rush, there's still plenty of time left." You remind him.

"Almost half, come on..." You hear Iso mutter.

A few seconds later you could hear a Vandal being fired, then Iso grunting.

"Iso?!" You stood up from your seat.

"Spike is half... I got shot on the shoulder..." Iso groans.

In the background, you can hear Iso firing his Sheriff, presumably at the assailant.

"Okay, okay... He's down, I can still defuse with my other hand..." Iso coughs, followed by the beeping sound again.

"Iso, listen to me. Just hold on and keep defusing, okay? I'm coming." You connect the comms to your phone, running out of the room.

"Really? You're coming...?" Iso asks, his voice low and pained.

"Yes, I'm on my way. Just a little longer, okay?" You ran to the departure wing, getting on the jet.

"I'll wait for you." Iso grunts.

"Keep talk to me, Iso. I need you to stay awake." You frantically went through the jet's storage for some medical equipment.

"Put some pressure on the wound to prevent excess bleeding. I'm on my way." You say, your voice shaky.

"Will we still go out for hotpot after this?" Iso asks, his voice low.

"Yes, I promise we will when you get better." You promised.

The jet hovered over the mission location. You shout for the pilot to open the door, as it'd take longer if you waited for the jet to land.

The door opens for you and you look out from it. Your eyes scanned the mission area from above, looking for any kind of shadow you can merge with. Once you do, you stepped back to prepare yourself to jump.

"I see a jet in the sky, is that you?" Iso asked, coughing.

"Yeah, it's me. I'll be with you soon." You breathe out shakily.

"What are you planning to do?" Iso asked.

But before you can answer, you dashed out of the jet. Your eyes locked onto the shadow of the building, preparing to channel your ability. You closed your eyes, letting your shadow take over.

In seconds, your body turned into a shadow-like orb, heading for the shadow of the building. Your body reached it immediately, merging with it. Once you did, you jumped away from it and ran to Iso.

"Iso! Hey, I'm here." You pant heavily, kneeling beside Iso.

"Hey..." Iso grunts, sitting up slowly. Beside Iso was the defused spike.

"Don't move, stay still. I'll do my best to help you, okay?" You mumble shakily.

How will you even do this? You weren't a healer, you weren't even trained for this. You look at Iso's pain expression and you knew you had to do something, anything.

You could make use of your abilities, the shadows. You remember what Omen told you, about how if you channel enough energy to your shadow, you could make it do what you desired. If you could do it, you could use them to absorb the wound, the pain and the bullet and save Iso.

Could that even work? Were you crazy? But you knew you had to try.

"Iso, listen to me." You hold his bloody hand shakily.

"This'll hurt a bit, okay? Do you trust me?" You squeeze his hand gently.

"I trust you." Iso nods.

"Stay with me." You mumble, letting go of his hand.

You place your hand over his wound and your other hand on your shadow. You close your eyes, channeling your shadow to your hand. You press your hand firmly on Iso's shoulder, your shadow entering his open wound, earning a pained hiss from Iso.

You focused your mind into commanding your shadow to absorb whatever it would have to absorb in order to heal Iso. You didn't know what you were doing, you were going crazy.

You let a few minutes pass, with your palm pressed on Iso's wound. You didn't know if what you did worked, but you were growing lightheaded.

pleaseworkpleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework, you chanted in your mind.

Once you feel your shadow disappear from your hand, you opened your eyes, slowly removing your hand from Iso's wound.

It was gone.

The would was no longer there, just the skin of Iso's shoulder through the hole of his hoodie. All that was left was Iso's blood.

"It... It worked..." You let out a shaky sigh, still not believing in what you did.

"What?" You hear Iso ask as he looks at his now-gone wound.

"It's gone? How did you..." Iso looked back at you.

"I don't know, I..." You mumble, looking at your shaking hands.

"No, I... It doesn't matter right now. Let's go back to HQ." You shook your head, shakily standing up.

"Can you stand? Do you need me to support you?" You offer your hand for him to take.

"I think I can." Iso nods, using his other hand to take your hand as you pulled him up.

"How did you do that? You never told me you could do that." Iso asked, looking at you in awe.

"I didn't even know that I could do that." You shook your head.

"Let's go back to the extraction point. I'll definitely need to write a detailed report about this..." You mumble, walking with Iso.

You and Iso walked for a few minutes, before finally arriving to the extraction point. You both got on the jet as it took off.

You plop down on the seat, still feeling a little lightheaded.

"Are you okay?" Iso asked, sitting beside you.

"I should be asking you that. How are you feeling? No more pain?" You sigh.

"I feel fine. It doesn't hurt anymore." Iso shook his head.

"Hey, thank you." Iso says.

It was enough to catch your attention, so you look at him.

"You came to save me, and I'm really thankful for that." Iso smiles.

"We can't have you dying on your first mission, Iso." You smile.

"But you hurried here, you tried your best to use your ability and ended up learning that you can actually heal me." Iso shook his head.

"Can I be honest with you?" You ask.

"I came to you despite knowing that I couldn't help at all." You admit.

"I had no medical experience and I wasn't anywhere near Sage's level." You sigh.

"But I still came to you. It was... an urge." You mumble.

"But now, I'm glad I came, after all. I learned a lot." You smile.

"I'm glad you came." Iso smiles.

-

After that, Iso was sent to the medic wing, where Sage checked Iso's health.

Brimstone informed you of this, so you went to check up on him for your hotpot with him later.

As you were about to slide the door open and walk in, you heard Iso talking with Sage.

"I'm glad you're okay, Iso." Sage says.

"Thanks a lot, Sage." Iso replied.

"Hey, do you think we can go out for milk tea later today?............" That was all you heard before your ears blocked out every other noise.

And here you thought that you were making progress. You really thought that Iso liked you back? Of course it was Sage.

You thought back to his interactions, how he'd look at her, how he'd call her his senior. But you were dumb and ignored all of it.

Now, here you were.

You had hoped for something when he talked to you earlier today when he asked to go out for hotpot with you and only you.

Maybe it really was just a friendly gesture.

[multi-fandom-agereg]

hiiii i forgot if i actually sent the request or not but could you write some cg headcannons for alucard(hellsing)? hes a father figure to me and theres like nothing of him ever 😭

🦇 « Caregiver » Alucard HEADCANONS 🦇

🌙 : hey anon! You did send this request before, and since I've been extremely busy I didn't get a chance to get to the request. So as extra- please take this drawing I made above! ↑↑↑ I hope you enjoy, I had fun writing this^^

ALUCARD as a Caregiver ! 🧛 . . .

🌙 | Alucard being a overprotective caregiver is an understatement. Alucard lived for centuries, and knows how cruel and harsh the world really was. And him being put in a scenerio where he taking care of a little one, he will protect them with his life. It doesn't matter how old, or how young his little one is. He will ensure that STRICT protection is put on them. Very specific people are able to babysit them if he's on a mission or away. But even that, he would have to know the person very well before he trusts them to watch over you. The only person who is able to do that is Integra so far.

🌙 | oh yeah, speaking of being overprotective: he will do anything to protect his little. And I mean anything. He will fight, threaten, eliminate and more if it meant his little was safe. Nobody who puts their hands on his little gets away without suffering intense and unbearable consequences first. He goes in father mode immediately and you know what they say, "a father's love is a shield that will always protect his children, no matter the cost."

🌙 | when it comes to things like petnames/nicknames he is open to them as a suggestion. You can call him anything you'd like, and he'd call you anything you'd like to be called (if anything, of course) not a fan of petnames? That's a-okay with him. While he loves all/any petnames, he favors the fatherly themed ones. Ex; dad/dada/daddy/papa/etc!

🌙 | people think Alucard has a hand holding addiction. He can't keep his hand off yours. He's always holding yours in some shape or form. Walking down the hallway in the Hellsing Organization? Holding your hand. Out in public? Holding your hand. Somehow your hand will always end up in his one way or another

🌙 | Alucard may be the most stern, and scary looking man ever- but whenever he's around you however, he's a literal puppy. Always following your around like a pup, nervous that you'll end up hurting yourself by accident. Oh, and y'know his dog form? If you're comfortable around that form he'd obviously use it to his advantage. He'd be the best guard dog in the world! Also if you are a fan of dogs, he'd let you get touchy with him. You can pet him, rub his ears, hold his tail and more.

🌙 | treats you like royalty. You can even say he is the master of spoiling you. Anything you want, he gives you. Wether that being gear, clothes, toys and stuffies, etc. although he loves to spoil you as much as he can, he can also be stern too. he will spoil you, but he won't spoil you too much. Enough to make you happy, but not enough to make Alucard spend himself broke

🌙 | master of playing pretend. If you are a huge fan of playing pretend, he's your guy to play with! He makes sure to play fairly, and will play pretend with you for hours until the game ends or you get tired.

🌙 | he managed to convince Sir Integra to use a empty room in the Hellsing Organization and turn it into a room that is solely fitted for your little age! (Or a room designed with things you like) this room has many many things! Posters of things you like, the wallpaper is your favorite color, there's a TV, toy boxes, a bed and more. He made sure you can never get bored in there.

--

~Art Comms are open:] ~

[gay-little-izzet]

I do commissions!

It’s been a busy few months for me, but I’m finally feeling in a good place to start doing these again! Note that I only accept payment through PayPal at the moment, and my prices are in USD.

Full information below ⬇️

I offer characters illustrations in four styles and three sizes. The images above are not the only possibilities of how a commission could be inked or rendered, as I’m open to using different brushes or techniques on request. If there’s a particular piece of mine you like the style of, let me know and I can refer you to the pricing that applies.

OPTIONS AND RATES

Sketch: a rough sketch with a textured or untextured brush. Sketch commissions will include an under-sketch to determine pose and composition. Some of these prices are intended mostly for inclusion as part of a character sheet. I will add base colors to a sketch for double the original price.

Head/Bust: $5 ($10 with color)

Half Body: $10 ($20 with color)

Full Body: $15 ($30 with color)

Style A: Thick or medium lines with basic colors underneath. Includes simple details and gradients, but not full shading.

Head/Bust: $15

Half Body: $30

Full Body: $40

Style B: Thick or medium lines with soft shading or cell shading.

Head/Bust: $20

Half Body: $40

Full Body: $60

Style C: Medium or thin lines with full shading/render. +$10 for colored line art.

Head/Bust: $30

Half Body: $60

Full Body: $90

Chibis: I've finally found a style I like for drawing chibi characters, so I'll be including this as a new commission option! Chibis will all be done in the same style, with thick lines and basic coloring.

Head: $10

Full Body: $30

Character Sheet: A series of drawings of a single character, provided they are commissioned at the same time, will cost 10% less than the sum of all components. This includes characters dressed in different outfits, but normal rates apply to a commission of multiple distinct characters.

Complex Design: Since the level of the detail of a design will impact the time it takes me to draw, I am now including an additional charge of 5-10% of the original cost for especially complex designs (very detailed clothing, elaborate anatomy, complicated color/shading situations). As complexity may vary, the additional cost will vary as well (although it literally can't exceed $10 for a single drawing based on my current prices). I appreciate it if clients are understanding when I decide a drawing will cost extra, because this charge helps ensure I am earning a decent rate for my time.

PAYMENT PROCESS

As I mentioned above, I accept payment through PayPal in USD. You can send money directly to my account, @VRWintner, or if it’s more convenient for you/you would like a more specific record of the transaction, I can also send an invoice directly to your PayPal account.

For commissions of $30 or more, I require at least 50% of the cost to be paid upfront (although clients are welcome to pay more than that, or pay in full upfront). The remaining cost can be paid upon completion, and may be paid in installments if necessary. Bear in mind that if you fail to fully pay for a commission, you cannot purchase another until you have done so, and I may be hesitant to accept a commission if you are unreliable with payment.

I always welcome tips! If you're able and willing to toss me a little extra on a comm, I greatly appreciate it (but no stress if you can't--I don't expect to be paid any more than the agreed upon price, anything extra is up to you).

DISCLAIMERS

I Can/Will Draw:

ocs/rpg characters

fanart

ship art (including fanart or ocs)

party/group drawings

furry/anthro/monsters

robots/cyborgs/phyrexians, ect.

prosthetics and other tech

armor and weapons

blood/gore/body horror

non-sexual nudity

specific art styles

I Can't/Won't Draw:

explicitly sexual content

harmful or offensive content of any kind

any material I have personal or ethical issues with drawing. Given the commissions I have had before, I don't see this being a problem, but if this or the above clause applies, I will make it clear with the client that I am unwilling to draw it immediately.

Understand that art commissioned from me is still my art, and I expect to be credited for it. Please don’t repost my art without credit to me (rude), use it for training ai (why), or use it for commercial purposes (again, why). Again, I don't see this being an issue, as you all have been lovely clients thus far!

If you have questions about my rates or policies, please don't hesitate to ask--my inbox and dms are always open, and I will try to respond promptly. Thank you all for the love and support!

[ikkosu]

It is currently midnight, but I wanted to send you an idea:

Prowl knocking on the human liaison/coworker's door, and when they open the door he just sees them in an oversized shirt and kinda loose sweatpants with the DEEPEST allergy shiners (aka dark circles but not because of sleep deprivation) he's ever seen on a human. Probably wearing a medical mask because those apparently help with airborne allergens from what I've heard.

Pollen season has been kicking my ass since March... if it isn't obvious lmao

hiya skelly!! allergies !! just the worst 😔😔

Cybertronians don't exactly have allergies. dust do gather up inside their vents, sometimes stuttering their engines and blocking their cooling fans — and, a chuff of air through their metal platings, pistons and whatever, are the closest equivalent to a sneeze.

prowl thinks liaison got hammered in the head by a fist at first, but after a quick scan of his optics. surprise! it's.... allergies?

but unlike ratchet who goes off like a bomb at the liaison (literal bullet lacerating chastise) prowl clocks you with the look(tm) . he might not show it much, but given his blatant favoritism of organisation, prowl is an avid hygiene warrior.

so, the first thing he does is clutch the liaison by the collar and drags them inside. he ignores their startled trills and through the comms he's not sparing Perceptor any peace, either, as he's barraging him with questions about your current condition.

"Isn't this an inquiry reserved for medical personnels like, say, ratchet?"

When Percy is met with a long, silent stare he can practically feel from the comm, he relents.

Prowl plops them on the bed and while they're busy held at gunpoint to rest (after taking some antihistamines) he starts brooming the room clear of dusts and garbage.

"Alright. I'll send you a list."

And he digested the protocols within less than a milli-second

of course, along the way he'll grumble and act as though he does not want any part with this (he does) and rants about how he could be doing something more important than this (your health is more important)

By prowl's behest Perceptor(primus, when can be get on his own work?) conjures a new kind of mask by himself because cop-bot thinks the usual ones (ahem, human made) aren't very efficient. in other words : they suck

then BOOM cuddling time.

Prowl would curl around the liaison like a cat, engines rumbling like a purr as he lulls them to sleep 🐈

[bunnwich]

Bun November Update 🐇 

I feel like it's forever since I made a post like this but- HI HELLO HOW ARE YOU POOKIES?? - Currently, I'm working on commissions. - Thank you for those leaving me questions about Leouta and DMs about OCs etc etc. I can't wait to yap and get to them. (just a lil busy rn) - All comm slots are filled rn, But I'll prob open up more when I finish those I'm working on. - I also have some exciting NEW twst merch coming as well as some more keychain variations for my sweetheart ones!!! raaaaa. - I'm getting back to 1k (again) so I'm thinking on how I wanna celebrate for that!! - An idea I've been toying around with is a Leouta week??? Were ya'll can ask questions or requests about them and maybe I'll do a raffle or DTIYS? Then someone wins a comm or free merch from me?? :3c - Been thinking hard about hosting another a fan event so I think on it but I really wanna do something we can all do together yk?

[yearninghabits]

EMERGENCY SELFSHIP COMMS

As far as commissions go as of right now; this are a lot cheaper than what I'd usually be selling. I'm kinda panicking so I really do apologize if this post is not very well put together. I won't go into it as it's very VERY personal but I don't think I have a safe income atm so I need to get as much money in as I can to pay rent and take care of my cat.

If you buy a fully shaded piece, You get a sketch free as a bonus thank you. I'm willing to do pretty much anything right now if it means getting money: This includes nsft. Please dm me your request and I'll get to it asap once I've been paid.

Sketch - £5

Colour & Line art - £20

Shaded - £25

I'm also willing to do backgrounds for a +£10

I'm also doing doodle sheets which can be bought for £35 which will be coloured and lined, with two doodles per page. If you'd like another on one page then that would be +£5.

I'm gonna speed run my own art so it means I can post examples here too. But these are the only two examples I can provide atm

Here's more examples going off my usual commission sheet. Everything here is used as examples and has been drawn by me. Just please keep all selfship talk off these accounts. Just because I really don't want some of my friends knowing.

If you can't buy one, it would mean the absolute world to me to reblog. I'm also gonna be opening writing commissions at this point too. But I'm going to try get a better post out for that as well as a more well put together comm post asap. I'm just incredibly busy.

[illuminatedquill]

Sabine Wren x The Ghost Crew

A Family, If You Can Keep It

Story Summary: To celebrate Sabine's first birthday after his return from exile, Ezra summons the Ghost crew - along with Jacen, Ahsoka, and Huyang - to the watchtower for a surprise party. However, the celebration soon turns sour, as long buried tensions and grievances between Sabine and the others begins to erupt, threatening to do what the Empire could not: shatter the bonds that have kept them together through countless years of war . . .

Author's Note: Shout out to @a-rebellious-waffle for the "extra spice". I hope you liked how it was used.

The doors to the watchtower hissed open and Sabine Wren, exhausted Jedi Knight, all but collapsed into the arms of her waiting husband, Ezra Bridger.

"Long trip?" he quipped, pulling her all the way inside.

Words were a luxury that her exhaustion couldn't afford, so Sabine settled for nodding into his shoulder. "I see," replied Ezra, amused. "Let me see if I can get you some caf."

Hunger awakened in her, sharpened by too many days of eating New Republic standard military rations. The pirates she had been tracking were paranoid and crafty; it had taken every trick she ever knew or heard of, plus an additional helping of Force intuition, to stay on their trail, without being seen, as they slowly made their way to their home base, hidden in an asteroid field.

Once there, she had sent a simple message through their comms:

SURRENDER OR DIE - JEDI KNIGHT SABINE WREN

It had taken the pirates a couple minutes to verify her identity through their connections and it seemed that her reputation preceded her. The pirates promptly surrendered.

It was almost disappointing. She had been looking to stretch her legs from piloting so long and nothing does that better than a good battle.

But that was the Mandalorian in her speaking. The Jedi side was pleased that no one had to die.

She relayed all this to her husband, once the caf was in her hands and she had taken a few sips. Her favorite brew - dark and sweet, just the way Sabine liked it. She could feel her energy returning with each swallow.

Ezra sat next to her on the couch, letting her lean on him. She closed her eyes and inhaled the familiar smells of the watchtower, the caf, and her husband.

It was good to be home, she thought. She felt Ezra's hands stroking her hair, sending waves of indescribable pleasure pulsating throughout.

She hid her enjoyment behind a discreet sip of caf.

Dark and sweet. Just like my husband. A wicked smile formed on her face.

"Glad that business worked out," murmured Ezra. "And just in time for your birthday."

Sabine's eyes popped open. "Oh, dank ferrik," she said. "I totally forgot."

Ezra, surprised, asked, "You . . . forgot your own birthday?"

She shrugged, trying to be non-chalant. "It's not something I really celebrate anymore."

Sabine paused a moment before adding, "It's just another day, really."

She felt Ezra shift uncomfortably in his seat and craned her neck to look at him, suddenly suspicious. In the Force, Sabine could sense his immediate anxiety at her response.

"I caught that," she said. "What is it? What did you do?"

Ezra looked away, scratching idly at his trimmed beard. "Oh, nothing, nothing."

"Uh-huh," said Sabine, unconvinced. "Well, if that's the case, I am starving."

Ezra said, "Oh, that's good. I've been cooking all day in preparation."

"That's great," replied Sabine, cheerfully. "But I wasn't talking about food."

Taking another big gulp of caf, she moved around to straddle Ezra. His eyes widened, as she brought her face close to his. "I've missed you," she murmured.

And she gave him a deep kiss that was born from a hunger deeper than the one gnawing in her belly. She wrapped her arms around him, gripping his head, drawing him closer -

Breathless, Ezra gasped, "Sabine, wait - "

She moved her hands, seeking to remove his shirt. "No more waiting," she growled.

The intercom interrupted them.

Sabine's head drooped onto Ezra's shoulder, breathing hard. "Oh, Ezra," she groaned. "You didn't."

Ezra, catching his breath, confessed, "I did."

I should have known.

She huffed a breath and went to answer the call.

"Oi!" came a familiar growl. "You gonna let us in or what? We've been waiting!"

Garazeb Orrelios. Sabine felt her face twitch in the semblance of a smile.

Another voice, also familiar, came over the comm. "Zeb, we just got here."

Hera Syndulla.

"I never said we've been waiting long. Right, kid?"

"Right! Hello, Sabine! Hello, Ezra! We're here for the surprise birthday party!" This voice belonged to Jacen Syndulla.

"I believe," came a dry, mechanically filtered voice, "that you have just ruined the surprise, young Master Syndulla."

Sabine blinked. Huyang? She threw a dirty look at Ezra, who blinked innocently at her.

"How many," she asked, slowly, "did you invite?"

He rubbed the back of his head; normally endearing, but the sight irritated her at the moment. "Uh, well," he said, awkwardly. "Maybe everybody?"

Everybody. That meant Hera, Zeb, Jacen, and if Huyang was here then that meant Ahsoka, her master, was also here.

"Huyang," chided her master, Ahsoka Tano, on the comm, "be nice to Jacen."

Sabine rubbed at her forehead, feeling the beginning of a headache coming on.

"Surprise," said Ezra, quietly.

The birthday celebration, Ezra quickly noted, was not going well.

Food was served, drinks were plentiful - Zeb had brought in a whole case of spotchka, confiscated from the personal reserves of an Imperial Moff - and the guests were conversing pleasantly with each other.

Jacen sniffed at the spotchka which, according to Zeb, contained enough alcohol to kill a rancor. The young boy wrinkled his nose but, to his credit, still asked, "Mom, can I have a sip?"

Hera, firmly, had replied, "Kid, if you take a sip of this I'm pretty sure it will kill you. So, no."

Chopper chortled a response at Jacen, who snickered.

Hera's eyes flashed. "Do not think about sneaking Jacen some spotchka, Chopper. I'll take a hammer to that dome of yours."

Zeb was having an animated conversation with Huyang, talking about the cultures of the Lasan people . . . and also trying to teach Huyang some special curses in his native tongue. Hera and Ahsoka both sat on the couch, boots propped up, laughing about recent adventures in their travels. Ezra, being a good host, was popping between all the various conversations, ensuring that the food was to everyone's liking and that the drinks were being filled.

Chopper and Jacen were outside on the balcony, admiring the view.

Which left one person; the person for whom the party was for.

Sabine sat alone, in the corner of the room, eating her food and sipping at a drink. She had exchanged some pleasantries with everyone who had arrived but then promptly retired to be by herself for the remainder of the event.

Ezra watched her uncertainly. Ahsoka wandered over, drink in hand, and gently nudged him.

"Sabine's condition is not your fault, Ezra," she said.

He blinked at her, frowning. "I invited everyone here. I thought that's what she would want."

Ezra shook his head. "I mean, when was the last time we had everyone together like this?"

Ahsoka regarded him steadily for a moment, then replied, somberly, "It hasn't happened since you disappeared."

Ezra blinked in surprise. "Not at all? I thought - "

"Hera, Zeb, and Sabine all went their separate ways not too long after the Battle of Lothal." Ahsoka regarded her former Padawan with a sad look. "Sabine took it . . . particularly hard. Especially after losing you and Kanan in such a short period of time."

"And they never checked up on each other? No one thought to reach out, see if they were all doing okay?" Ezra felt bewilderment at the thought of the Ghost crew - his family - just . . . not being a family anymore. They'd had their differences, sure, and more than their fair share of arguments.

But they'd always had each other's backs. No matter what.

"It wasn't for a lack of trying," came Hera's voice beside him. Ezra turned to find her standing there, also giving Sabine a sad look. "But - Ezra, I think you forget sometimes that there was a war still going on. It didn't end with you and Thrawn disappearing to another galaxy."

Ahsoka added, "Not to say that what you did wasn't significant. Thrawn being removed essentially allowed the Rebellion to fight back against the Empire on more even terms."

"We would have been wiped out before the real war started," Hera agreed.

Ezra stared at Hera. "And you guys were apart for all of that?"

Hera looked away. "Yeah. Jacen came along and I was a single mom fighting a galaxy wide civil war. Zeb had his responsibilities back on Lasan and then later joined his own squadron of pilots as the war drew on. And Sabine . . . she found her Jedi path."

She sipped at her drink. "Truth be told, I think it was the best thing for everyone."

Ezra asked, "And you never checked up on her afterwards?"

Hera snorted. "You know Sabine. She's always okay." She paused and then said, blithely, "Sabine didn't need us. She needed the war; it did a better job of keeping her from falling apart than we ever could."

"Haat o'r an nuhune." Sabine uttered the phrase like an oath, dripping with so much disdain and bitterness that Ezra could almost physically see it.

She had apparently overheard their conversation and was now turned in her seat, facing towards them. Her face was an expressionless, neutral mask - a sign that something had truly made her furious.

Hera narrowed her eyes at Sabine. "It wasn't a joke, Sabine."

Chopper made a noise that sounded uncannily like, "Uh-oh."

Ezra turned to Ahsoka, hoping for clarification. "Literal translation is: 'There's truth in all jokes,'" she murmured.

Sabine took a long drink from her glass and Ezra suddenly wondered just how many she had been through. He noted that the jug of spotchka sitting next to her was close to empty and, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, remembered how much alcohol Zeb had boasted was in this batch.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," he muttered.

"Funny," said Sabine. "Funny to me. Sabine is always okay, is that right?" Her words were only a little slurred; an impressive feat considering the amount of alcohol she had been ingesting.

She stared at Hera for a hot second before asking, "You know Mando'a?"

Hera crossed her arms. "Yeah. You don't remember? You taught me."

Sabine cocked her head, thinking. "Right, right. It's funny the things you choose to remember. And what you choose to forget."

Hera's eyes flashed dangerously. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Ezra moved to intervene - only for Ahsoka to hold him back. He looked at her, confused.

She only shook her head. Her eyes sent a clear message: Let this happen.

Sabine pointed to Ezra and then at herself. "Forgot about me. Forgot about Ezra."

Hera's hands balled into fists.

Zeb stepped up cautiously next to Hera. From behind him, Jacen, watching wide-eyed at the unfolding scene.

"That's not true, kid," growled the Lasat. "You know it ain't."

Sabine smirked, but there was no humor in her eyes. "Is that so? Where have you been all this time, then?"

Hera took a step forward. "Sabine. Don't do this. We're here now."

"Yes, here now. All because of Ezra; Ezra calls and you come a-running. All the times when I needed you and you weren't here. But when you needed me? With help for the Rebellion? I came to help. I was there."

She stood up out of her chair, shaking with barely held rage. "You know what that is? That's not a kriffing family, Hera."

Sabine's face twisted into an awful sneer. "That's a business transaction. I was a commodity. And you used me whenever it was convenient for you."

Zeb's eyes widened and the big Lasat took a step back, as if physically rocked back by the force of her statement.

Hera yelled, "That's not true! We were your family, Sabine. We loved you!"

"For what I could give you!" Sabine screamed back. "For what I could do for you! But you never wanted me around; you needed me."

She pointed a shaking finger at Ezra. "I had travel to another kriffing galaxy just to find the one person who loved me for myself. I had to bring him back, for me. Ezra stayed alive for me - he came back for me! So, what's your excuse?"

Zeb was shaking his head, muttering something incomprehensible. He couldn't meet Sabine's eyes.

Jacen was crying. Huyang held out a hand in comfort, which the young boy took. Even Chopper was uncharacteristically silent.

Ezra couldn't believe what he was seeing; the Ghost crew, his family - falling apart. He felt like something vital was being ripped out of him with every harsh word being spoken.

Ahsoka just watched silently, arms crossed. Her eyes were unreadable.

Hera was shaking, eyes glistening with tears. "You think it was easy to watch us drift apart? You think you're the only one who was suffering, who was struggling with what was happening? I had a child to raise! The galaxy was at war! Kanan was gone, Ezra was gone; I couldn't protect any of you! I had to trust that you could look after yourself - "

At the mention of Jacen, Sabine reacted viscerally. "Stop using Jacen as an excuse to hide behind. You had a real child to love now, not some strays you and Kanan found, so of course it was easy for you to replace me and Ezra - "

Hera slapped Sabine. The sound of it resounded in the watchtower's interior with a vicious crack.

Zeb, whispered, "Oh, karrabast."

Sabine was stunned, her hand reaching up to her cheek that was already reddening from the strength of the blow.

Hera's eyes were cold. She whispered, "How dare you."

Sabine just stared back, defiance flickering to life in her eyes as response.

A few tense seconds passed.

And then Sabine hurled herself at Hera.

"Ezra," snapped Ahsoka. But he was already on the move, throwing himself in front of Sabine. He grabbed Sabine's hands, twisted into claws, her face almost unrecognizable in its visage, transformed by grief and fury.

Zeb grabbed Hera in a huge bear hug from behind, lifting her off the floor. It was a struggle for the Lasat, to Hera's credit.

Dragging them apart, the two women just continued to scream abuses at each other, hurling the worst kind of insults - Ezra couldn't remember any of it later; just how it made him felt.

Like his world was ending.

Zeb shook Hera roughly. "Hera! Enough!"

She broke out of Zeb's embrace and stumbled to the ground. Breathing hard, not looking at anybody, she spoke in a flat monotone: "Jacen. Get your stuff. We're leaving."

No answer. The silence was deafening.

Hera's head whipped up. "Jacen! Did you hear me?"

He wasn't there. Fear descended upon the party in an icy wave.

From outside the watchtower, the whoop of a speeder engine could be heard.

Ezra let go of Sabine and sprinted to the balcony -

Just in time to see two figures sitting on one of the speeder-bikes he and Sabine kept racing off into the darkness towards the capital city.

The thudding of his heart slowed only somewhat; he recognized Huyang, sitting backseat to Jacen. He's not alone.

Hera came up behind him, screaming, "Jacen!"

Ezra asked, "Hera, does Jacen have his comm-link on him?"

Hera frowned, thinking - and then shook his head. "No, he left it in the Ghost."

Ezra quickly dialed Huyang's comm frequency into his own.

The droid's voice came back a second later. "Yes, Ezra?"

Hera grabbed Ezra's comm-link and yelled, "Where the hell are you taking my kid, Huyang?"

"I am not taking him anywhere," came the offended response. "He is taking me."

Hera gritted her teeth, squeezing the comm-link hard enough to break it. Ezra gently pried it out of her hands. "Where are you heading to, Huyang?"

"I am uncertain. He will not tell me."

Ezra sighed. "Is Jacen okay?"

"Physically, yes. Emotionally and mentally? No. Your actions tonight have distressed him."

Ezra looked at Hera and back into the watchtower where Sabine stood, still cradling her cheek, and Zeb, standing apart from everyone and turned away, not looking at any of them.

"Yeah," he agreed. "That makes sense. He's not the only who's distressed at the moment."

He came to a decision. "Huyang, stay on him and turn on your tracking beacon. I'm coming after you."

"Very well, Ezra. I'll contact you when we arrive . . . to wherever our destination is."

Ezra clicked off. Hera glared at him. "That's my kid. I should be going after him, not you."

"You've done enough," replied Ezra. He winced at how harsh his tone sounded; Hera winced at the response.

He reached out and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Besides, you've been drinking. Don't want to see you crash into anything while trying to track your son."

Hera's eyes flashed. "You know I don't crash into anything, Ezra Bridger." But her demeanor softened just a bit.

Ezra grinned and leaned in a little. "Besides, you've got your other kid to take care of." He nodded towards Sabine.

Hera blinked, her eyes misting over. "You don't really believe that - "

"That you forgot about me and Sabine? No - but, as you pointed out, I wasn't here for whatever happened between you guys." His voice turned serious. "Sabine obviously feels differently. And you need to address that with her."

Hera, in a rare moment, looked uncertain and vulnerable. It hurt Ezra to see her like that; for most of his life, she and Kanan were the respective leaders of their unit. They always seemed to know what needed to happen next.

Moments like these . . . he was reminded that everyone was just making it up as they went along. Some people were just better at hiding it than others.

"She's so angry, Ezra. I just - I don't know how to fix that."

Ezra snorted. "Sabine's always been angry."

Hera gave him an annoyed glance. "You know what I mean."

"She's hurt, Hera. Sabine is angry, because she cares. If she was truly well and done with everyone, she would stop being so emotional about it."

Hera frowned. "How do I reach out to her? How do I get Sabine to lower her guard?"

Smiling, Ezra replied, "By lowering your own."

Sabine's headache had intensified ten-fold since the party had started and now she was also dealing with the throbbing mark on her cheek from Hera's slap. She was sitting on the couch, head in her hands, trying not to vomit.

I deserved that, she thought, bitterly. So I will not complain.

Ezra had left to chase after Jacen and Huyang, leaving her alone with Hera, Zeb, and Ahsoka. They all sat apart from each other, not really looking at anyone, anything.

She snuck a glance at her former master, who just sent a shrug.

Just let it be, was the message she received.

There was movement - Sabine looked up and suddenly found Hera kneeling in front of her.

She blinked in confusion. There was a brief moment where it looked like Hera was uncertain; her face was set in the look of someone about to do something necessary, yet unpleasant.

Hera looked directly at her and said, steadily, "I was jealous of you, you know."

She reached out and gently took Sabine's hands. "Jealous?" asked Sabine. "Of what?"

"That you got Ezra back." Hera's smile was sad. "You got your Jedi back. I didn't."

Sabine sensed through the Force a sudden, but small spike of guilt coming from her master. She looked over her shoulder and found Ahsoka turned away, her expression hidden.

"Hera - ", said Sabine, but the other woman shook her head.

"Mind if I sit? I'm too old to be kneeling like that."

"Be my guest." Sabine patted the seat next to her.

Hera rose, wincing at the small crackling noises from her joints as she did so, before plopping down on the couch.

Sabine waited for Hera to continue speaking.

"I would have given anything to save Kanan. For a time, I didn't understand why you helped Thrawn in exchange for Ezra." Hera grimaced and looked down at her hands, gripped tightly together.

"But then I realized that I did actually understand. I wanted to think that I would have made a different choice. That I would have been better. But we never really know, do we? Until we're the ones making the choice."

Sabine absorbed her words for a moment. "I never thought about it," she confessed. "It didn't feel like a sin, doing that. I just knew that I wanted Ezra back." She glanced at Hera and reached over to hold her hand.

Hera squeezed it gratefully. "I never thought you would be jealous," Sabine continued. "I was the one who was jealous. Everyone else had something to do, someone to care for . . . everyone except me."

"We should have showed up, kid," grumbled Zeb. He was watching them both, his eyes serious. "There's no excuse. We were all busy, sure, but family never abandons their own."

"I let you go," added Hera, softly. "Made the same mistake I did with Kanan and Ezra. And look what happened."

Sabine trembled, feeling the years of pent-up grief and loneliness rattling inside her. "Why did you leave? Why did you let us go separate ways?"

Hera swallowed hard and looked away, blinking back tears. Zeb cut in, saying, "Well, speaking for myself, I thought you could handle it. I always thought you were the toughest out of all us."

Sabine blinked at her old friend. "You did?"

"Yeah. I just - I just didn't know how much Ezra meant to you, you know. I didn't know how much of that toughness was . . ."

"Fake?" suggested Sabine, bitterly.

Zeb shook his head. "It wasn't fake, I never said that. You are a survivor, Sabine. Karrabast, you're one of the best fighters I know. Even better now, with your Jedi skills. I thought you would survive and fight through everything - even losing Ezra. But you didn't. And it confused me at first, until I realized."

"Realized what?" asked Sabine.

"That the crush you had on Ezra wasn't just infatuation. You really did love him," confessed Zeb.

Sabine blinked. "Crush?" she asked, incredulous. "I didn't have a crush on Ezra."

From beside her, Hera choked out a laugh. Sabine turned to look at her, mystified. "There was no crush," repeated Sabine, her face reddening.

Zeb cocked his head, confused. "What do you mean there was no crush? There was totally a crush."

Sabine scoffed. "Yeah, he had one on me. Not the other way around."

Hera snorted. Sabine glared at her.

"What about that business on Mandalore? Your thing with the darksaber?"

"My trials? Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

Zeb growled, impatiently, "That's when I first noticed it. You were acting different around that boy."

Sabine arched an eyebrow. "How so?"

"You know . . . you smiled at him more." Zeb attempted to copy the 'smile'. It looked more creepy than romantic.

She rolled her eyes. "I smile at a lot of people, Zeb."

"No, you don't. You grin or you smirk at people. It's kind of your thing. Ezra got a smile; a proper smile." He attempted to do the 'smile' again.

Sabine shuddered. "Please stop doing that."

Zeb crossed his arms, pouting. "Anyway, I'm telling the truth. Ezra got plenty of smiles after you two finished that business on Mandalore. And you did it a lot when he wasn't looking, too."

Sabine leaned back, thinking. "Is that true?" she asked Hera.

Hera smiled, remembering. "I think so, actually. What about you Chopper?"

Chopper tweeted his response, cheerfully.

Sabine's eyebrows shot up. "You thought we were doing what?" she demanded.

Hera belted out a laugh. Sabine turned to her, offended. "How can you laugh? Did you just hear what he said?"

Zeb snickered. "Oh, we heard."

Sabine threw her hands up in frustration. "You're all perverts! Ezra and I were just friends. It never happened!"

Ahsoka's comm-link chirped. "It's Ezra," she announced.

Hera whipped her head around. "He found Jacen?"

Ahsoka turned on the comm. "He's alright, Hera. I've got him with me. We're heading back now,” came Ezra’s voice.

Hera's shoulders slumped in relief. "Thank you, Ezra. May I speak with him?"

Huyang's voice cut in. "I'm doing just fine, too. In case anyone was wondering."

"We weren't," quipped Sabine. "Now put Jacen on."

Huyang sighed. A moment later, Jacen's voice came through. "Hey, Mom."

Hera struggled with herself for a second; Sabine could see a different tangle of emotions fighting for control over her face.

Finally, she settled on just one. "Hey, kid. You scared us."

"I know. I'm sorry. I was just . . . it was too much. I didn't like seeing everyone fighting like that."

Sabine replied, "It's okay. We're sorry, too. Families can be like that, sometimes."

Hera looked at Sabine, surprised. Sabine squeezed her hand.

"Have you guys fixed it yet?" Jacen asked.

"We're working on it," Hera replied, smiling. "What do you think we should do?"

Jacen was silent for a thoughtful moment. Then he said, "I think you should hug."

Zeb chuckled. "You're smarter than all of us, kid."

"I know," Jacen said, smugly. "Anyway, Ezra says we gotta head back now."

"Okay. Safe travels, kid. We'll see you soon."

"Mom?" Jacen's voice suddenly seemed small, uncertain.

"Yes, Jacen?"

"Am I really the reason why you left Sabine alone?"

Sabine felt her heart twist in grief. Hera closed her eyes, hanging her head in shame.

"It's complicated, kid," was all she said.

"Okay," said Jacen, hesitantly. "It's family."

Hera looked at Sabine again, eyes shining with tears. "Yeah, that's right."

Ezra came on the comm again. "Hera, we're heading back now."

"Okay, safe travels." She paused and then asked, "Where did you find him?"

"The Wall of Heroes," responded Ezra. And then he clicked off the channel.

He went to find Kanan, Sabine thought, sadly.

Silence hung thickly between everyone. Hera handed back the comm-link to Ahsoka and thanked her.

"The reason why I let everyone split," Hera said, cutting through the silence, "is because I cared too much. We were all hurting so much from losing Kanan and then Ezra soon after . . . I thought time alone, focusing on our paths, would let us get some breathing room. Heal in our own ways."

Sabine looked at her. "You must have been lonely. Raising Jacen by yourself."

Hera nodded. "It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Still is."

"You didn't have to do it alone," Zeb pointed out. "We all would have come running, if you had asked."

"I didn't," Hera said, softly, "because it hurt too much. To see you all. Jacen already reminded me so much of what we had sacrificed and having the rest of you in there - it was too much reminder of the past. I couldn't handle it. I wanted to move on, to focus on the future."

Sabine reached over and held her hand. "You still didn't have to do it alone."

Hera nodded again - and burst into a sob. "I know. I let you all down. We should have stayed together."

Sabine didn't know what to say. So she just hugged Hera, tight as she could.

Zeb joined. Even Chopper rolled over to join in his own way.

"I'm sorry, everyone," said Hera. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Me, too," said Sabine.

"Count me in that, as well," responded Zeb.

Chopper whomped a statement. Zeb kicked at the astromech.

"You've got plenty to be sorry about, you little menace," growled the Lasat.

Sabine and Hera laughed, together.

Ezra, Jacen, and Huyang returned to the watchtower and found a miracle.

Everyone was laughing. Sitting on the couch, exchanging quips and stories.

Jacen blinked at the scene in astonishment. "Wow," he said, eyes wide.

Huyang glanced at Ezra. "Are you sure we've returned to the correct watchtower?"

Ezra gave the droid a big grin. "I'm pretty sure, Huyang."

Ahsoka gave them a little wave at their return. "Finally!" Zeb growled. "Took you all long enough. It's time to eat the cake!"

On the table was a large box. "You brought cake?" asked Ezra.

"Of course, I brought cake. Even had it decorated in Sabine's favorite colors. Let's open this up here . . ." Zeb reached for the edges to open it up.

The box popped open. "Ta-da!" Zeb gestured at the cake with a flourish.

Ezra's eyes popped open at what was written there.

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE PREGNANCY

WE CAN'T WAIT TO MEET THE LITTLE ONE

Everyone was dead silent - and looked to Sabine. She looked at Ezra and quickly shook her head.

Ezra felt his knees go weak. He leaned against the wall to stay upright.

Hera elbowed Zeb in the ribs. "Hey! What's this about?" she demanded, pointing at the cake.

Zeb peered at the writing and muttered an oath. "Ah, karrabast! They gave me the wrong one! I spent so many credits on this . . ."

Sabine, red in the face, shoved Zeb's head into the cake.

Jacen burst out laughing, followed shortly by Hera - and then everyone else joined. Zeb, with some difficulty, pulled his face out and blinked at everyone through the thick frosting.

Their laughter echoed throughout the watchtower, spilled onto the plains of grass, and drifted into the night sky, echoing into the dark spaces between the stars and into galaxies, far, far away . . .

EPILOGUE

Everyone, unsurprisingly, was hung over the next morning.

Except for the droids, obviously.

Hera, with Jacen, Chopper, and a practically comatose Zeb in tow gave Sabine and Ezra a big hug before departing.

"Don't be a stranger, you two," she said, seriously. "Stay in touch."

Sabine grinned. "Count on it. Same goes to you."

Zeb burped. "What - what she said," he grumbled. "And don't forget to open our presents."

Jacen patted the big Lasat on the back. "Let's get you on the Ghost for some more rest, big guy."

Zeb let out another horrendous belch and grimaced. "I think you'll have to drag me there, kid."

Hera aimed a swift kick at Zeb. "Get moving. You've survived worse."

Mournfully, Zeb said, "I don't really think I have. I think I'm proper dying this time."

Ezra and Sabine laughed and waved them off.

Ahsoka was next and handed Sabine a worn journal. "My present," she said, smiling. "Happy birthday, Sabine."

Sabine, curious, opened it up - and felt her heart flip over.

JOURNAL OF ALRICH WREN

She flipped through the pages, recognizing her father's writing; unfinished sketches, musings on Mandalore, politics, his wife . . . and his children.

Sabine felt her eyes begin to well up with tears. "Where did you - "

"I was on Mandalore talking with an old friend recently. Bo-Katan Kryze."

Sabine looked up sharply. "On Mandalore? Why?"

Ahsoka nodded. "She had . . . something to discuss with me."

"Regarding what?" asked Ezra.

Ahsoka shook her head. "Another time. Anyway, I asked her permission to sift through what remained of your ancestral home, Sabine. I found this tucked away under some rubble. I thought you would like to have it."

Sabine carefully closed the book and held it to her chest. "Thank you, Master. I like it very much."

Ahsoka bowed. "You're welcome."

She departed, Huyang giving them a cheerful wave.

Ezra watched Ahsoka leave with a thoughtful expression. Sabine asked, "What's up?"

He frowned at his wife. "She's hiding something."

"Ahsoka? Hiding what?"

He shrugged. "We'll find out later, I suppose."

They headed back inside the watchtower to relax. "Some crisis brewing somewhere?" Sabine suggested.

"Isn't there always?" replied Ezra, dryly. "Let's open up the rest of these presents."

Hera had gifted Sabine new state-of-the-art paint sprays. Zeb, in tandem, had given her special paints exclusive to Lasan.

Sabine felt her eyes misting over again with tears. "I can't believe it," she murmured.

When was the last time I had painted? Just for fun? She couldn't remember. She'd been so busy . . .

"One of the ways we show love to each other," Ezra reminded, "is by paying attention to details."

Sabine leaned into him, sighing. "Dank ferrik, I was so horrible last night."

"It needed to be said. Families aren't always easy, or fun, but they always get us through the worst of times."

Sabine looked at her husband. "Thank you for bringing them back to me. For giving me the opportunity to clear the air."

Ezra said, "Well, I wasn't planning on all that happening. But you're welcome, anyway."

Sabine grinned at him. "Have I told you lately that you're amazing?"

"No," Ezra replied. "But that's okay - you've been busy."

She snuggled close to him. Ezra wrapped his arms around his wife, pulling her closer.

After a beat, she asked, "So. Where's your present?"

Groaning, Ezra said, "Sabine. You can't be serious."

"Dead serious, Ezra Bridger. What'd you get me?"

"Do you know how hard it was to get them all together like that? How many schedules I had to align?" Ezra complained.

"Hmmm. I guess . . ."

Ezra snorted. "Well, what can I do to make it up?"

Sabine, in a quick flash of movement, straddled Ezra, drawing his face close to hers for a deep, deep kiss that set his nerves ablaze with excitement.

He felt his pulse begin to skyrocket.

"I believe," Sabine whispered, "that we were rudely interrupted last time."

"You're not tired?" asked Ezra, surprised.

"Not in the slightest," replied Sabine, with a wicked grin. "Now hush, my love, and give me my birthday present."

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Alien Day falls in Lesbian Visibility Week, so that means I need to write for the lesbian Crowlien au because we love monster women here. Even though this story technically takes place before Aziraphale mutates into an alien.

I just wanted to write a little soft fluff with them before shit happened. Even if there is mentioning of what happens post-alien encounter.

On with the fic!

--

Crowley was grinning as she crossed through the ship's halls, looking for the medical wing. She had something hidden behind her back as she slipped past an irritated looking Furfur, nearly dropping it when he almost tripped her. "Whoa! Who pissed in your cornflakes?" She sniffed, giving him a look.

Furfur looked back at her, clucking his tongue. "Just the annoying, forgetful redhead who, once again, left me doing her job!"

Crowley blinked, then considered what he meant. "You went and fixed the issue with the lights in med bay?"

"Yes. Which your... wife kept trying to get you to fix!" He spat the word 'wife' out as if it tasted terrible. God, he was never going to get over Crowley rejecting him, is he? "Apparently she'd been trying to contact you all morning, and you didn't answer any of her calls."

"Was busy with that repair job Gabe's was bitchin' about at dinner last night, the one he told me I had to do first thing in the mornin', remember?" Crowley stuck out her tongue at him. "Anyway, I need to go and see my wife about something more important than the malfunctionin' lights in the keyboard of her computer! Ta~!"

She cackled and ran to Aziraphale's office, slapping the door button, watching it slide open.

Aziraphale was inside, typing away at her computer with just her index fingers. It's amazing how much of an old lady she could be, even at her age, it was so cute. She seemed so focused on whatever she typing that she hadn't noticed Crowley or the door opening.

Crowley chuckled softly, leaning against the door frame, waiting for her wife to finally notice.

In three... two...

"Oh! Darling!" Aziraphale looked up, smiling brightly. "I didn't hear you come in!"

"Course not, too busy doin' nerdy medical stuffy, eh?"

"Hush you." Aziraphale replied, then pouted. "Where were you? I've been trying to contact your communication device all morning! Did you forget to charge it again?"

"One, no, it was charged, remember? You saw me plug it in. Two, just call it a comm, angel, no one calls it a 'communication device'." Crowley moved from the door, hearing it shut behind her, hands still kept behind her back as she approached the desk.

"And I was fixin' that thing for the captain, cause if I didn't, you know he'd hound me for it all fuckin' day."

"Ah, that is true." Aziraphale said, then glanced to the side, trying to see what Crowley was hiding. "What's that?"

Crowley grinned. "Do you know what day it is?"

Aziraphale blinked owlishly behind those little glasses she wore when reading. "Tuesday?"

"Well, yes, but the date?"

"It's August..." She glanced at her calendar, then gasped. "It's my-!"

"Happy birthday!" Crowley shouted, holding out the yellow gift bag she had been trying to keep hidden.

Aziraphale stood up, looking so excited as she walked around the desk. "Oh, you clever snake, you didn't have to get me anything!"

"Too late, got it right before we left, so I clearly can't take it back! WAAAAYYYY past the thirty day return limit!"

The doctor laughed and kissed Crowley on the cheek before taking the bag, looking inside. "Oh, oh Crowley..." She pulled out a book, one that was clearly old, but in a very well-kept condition. "Is this...?"

"A first edition copy of Persuasion? Your favorite book? It might be."

"Darling, this is just... it's too much!"

"Nothing is too much for my wife, my favorite person, my beloved angel." Crowley smiled, holding her close, kissing her neck. "Do you like?"

Aziraphale set the book and bag on her desk, then leaned into the hold, kissing her right on the lips. "I love it. I love you. You make me so happy."

Crowley kissed her on the forehead. "Good, when you're happy, I'm happy. I love you too, angel."

--

Crowley looked at the pages in front of her, having paused mid-sentence in her reading aloud of the book. She heard the soft sounds of Aziraphale sleeping, felt the warm, moist breath through those terrifying teeth against her shirt where her wife was resting her head.

She grabbed for the bookmark nearby, slipping it into place, then closed the book. She looked at the cover, seeing the single word of the title. It was still in good condition, minus tiny tears from where Aziraphale had tried to grab it in her clawed hands.

It bothered her to not be able to hold her precious books anymore, but Crowley was there to do that, to help her enjoy them by reading the stories aloud. Granted, Crowley didn't often like the books Aziraphale enjoyed, some of them were so gloomy, but it made her wife happy, and that's what Crowley enjoyed most.

She sighed softly, setting the book aside, looking at bone-white locks of messy hair, at a face that seemed more like a skull than the cherubic face she was used to, but she still saw her wife there, that beautiful angel she married.

Things would never be like that birthday when Aziraphale got her book, when it had been such a good day, only for things to go to shit just two weeks later.

But that was alright, Crowley still had Aziraphale, even if she was a bit different than before. Her angel was happy, even like this, and that meant Crowley was happy.

--

Something sweet, before all hell broke loose.

Also, yes, Crowley reads to Aziraphale now, it's so hard for her to do it herself.

Oh, I really like the idea that Furfur has feelings for Crowley, who has been married to Aziraphale for years. Sir, move on, you're never gonna get the girl. (Also, you die anyway, but still).

[kermitbread]

hello. this is a proper pinned post for this blog. it's mostly for convenience for any newcomers here, and it'll get updated randomly so... yeah ✌️

Intro? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

kermit (or tiramisu)

23

🇵🇭

they/them, but i've also been using he/him pronouns lately

i mostly draw but i like to dabble with other stuff that you might see here on this blog and other places im at

not constantly online, sorry

i don't really have dnis or whatever those are, just don't be a fucking weirdo in general i guess

my ask box will often be closed because i get a little overwhelmed especially during busy days where i can't find enough time to visit it. however, you can come back here whenever to check if it's open or not :)

various media i like

vocaloid (and vocal synths in general)

tokusatsu (mainly ultraman)

jibaku shounen hanako-kun

inuyasha

hataraku saibou

pokemon

yume nikki

important links

LINK MASTERLIST

important rules regarding this blog

frequently asked questions

nekoweb site where im mostly at. yeah i migrated from neocities because of the same reason as twitter lol

personal tags i frequently use

ko-fi if you want to support me

terms and conditions for commissions (comms are closed for now :3)

[sjsmith56]

Connections - A Private Man, Chapter 20

Summary: While Sam and Rhodey rendezvous with the newest incarnation of the Avengers, Bucky confirms his suspicions of Ross’s intentions, and takes decisive action.

Length: 4.2 K

Characters: The Avengers, Bucky, John Walker, Tracey.

Warnings: Violence, crude language, action that results in apparent death of a major character, cliffhanger.

Author notes: Take that, James Gunn (and Kevin Feige for not contradicting Gunn's assertion of canon). Don’t hate me. Love is forever.

<<Chapter 19

As Sam flew towards their rendezvous point outside of Miami, he couldn't help being a little angry with himself.  They suspected Walker of lying and should have had better surveillance on him.  Peter Parker must have taken it on himself to watch him, but let it play so that the super soldier incriminated himself.  It was messed up as much as hoping Nebula actually followed through with rescuing Tracey.  When he told Peter Quill about Nebula's offer the Guardian had warned Sam she might make a play for Bucky's arm.

"She's been talking to Mantis about giving gifts," explained Quill.  "I wouldn't be surprised if she wants to give Rocket Bucky's arm.  He's wanted it ever since he first saw it.  I would order him to give it back, but you know how stubborn he can be."

"I'll have to wait to see if they get to Wakanda before we do anything about it," said Sam.  "Are you hanging out here?"

"No, now that we're in charge of Knowhere I've got lots of responsibilities," admitted Quill.  "Keeps me busy.  Plus, all the Christmas preparations on Earth ... it doesn't bring good memories for me.  Nebula will have the pod and can return in that.  It will just take her a little longer."

They said their goodbyes that morning after the reception and Nebula went her own separate way, saying she wanted to find where Ross and Fontaine were holed up.  Which reminded Sam to check in with Rhodey to see if the FBI had found that location after she reported its coordinates.  The response wasn't good.  They only arrested two people, caretakers at the old naval base their force had stayed at.

"It doesn't look like they're coming back there, either," said Rhodes, the sound of his flight journey audible on his comms link.  "They did take Olivia Walker in.  She was blindsided and doesn't want to believe Walker did this deliberately.  She says Fontaine is very persuasive and can talk him into anything.  Her loyalty is admirable but misguided and won't keep Walker out of the Raft.  Her phone has been tapped and if he calls, we'll try to trace his location."

"Can they access satellite imagery to track Ross's movements after they left the base?" asked Sam. 

"Working on it," replied Rhodes.  "We'll talk more when we meet up.  I should be there in 20 minutes."

Sam landed at the airstrip at Cape Canaveral, giving the code to the air traffic controller for permission to land.  He found Joaquin already there with Thor and Valkyrie.  A portal opened revealing Peter and Kate's arrival.  Another one opened with Scott coming through, accompanied by the newest member of the proposed Avengers, Shang Chi, or as he insisted on being called, Shaun.  The others greeted him with friendliness.

"Hope is delayed," said Scott.  "Malfunction in her suit.  Hank is working on it but has no timeline.  What do we know?"

"Shortly before sunrise a team presumably led by John Walker, attacked Bucky's location," said Sam.  "I received the code from Bucky's phone number but nothing since.  If Nebula rescued Tracey and took her to Wakanda they should be approaching the African coast in the next hour.  If they have his arm Shuri can track where he is, as it communicates with the shoulder insert.  Right now, Bucky's phone has no signal.  Clint has gone to the Bahamas to confirm the attack and will return here to be your transport."

"So, we wait," said Thor.  "We need to plan."

"Not until we have numbers of the enemy and their location," said Sam.  "For all we know they're on a ship in the middle of the ocean."

Shortly after Rhodes arrived and briefed them on what had been learned.  The backers for this attack to acquire Bucky were industrialists, eager to take advantage of what they saw as Wakanda's weaknesses since the death of King T'Challa.  With the financial contributions of several billion-dollar corporations they had apparently acquired a surplus aircraft carrier, had stocked it with surplus fighter jets, and armed it with mercenaries promised rich paydays.  The authorities were still trying to find it via satellite but it seemed to have been given cloaking capabilities hiding it from overhead satellites.  Rhodes hoped the quinjet would be able to scan for it as its technology was more advanced.

"How do you know all this?" asked Sam.  "How did we get this information?"

"A certain Baron currently incarcerated in the Raft," said Rhodes.  "Apparently, he's been keeping tabs on Bucky.  He's not thrilled that the Avengers are reforming but he's definitely not happy that big money is trying to corral anyone with superpowers, forcing them to work to accomplish their ends."

"Bucky said once that Zemo has a definite moral code," replied Sam.  "Obviously what Ross and Fontaine are doing offends him.  Any word on who the enhanced humans are?"

"Yeah, but I'll wait for Clint because one of them has a connection with him and with Kate," said Rhodes.

Kate Bishop heard her name and perked up.  "Who is it?"

Rhodey wouldn't say anything, and the young archer expressed her frustration by stomping off in a bit of a huff.  Sam looked at Peter and jerked his head towards Kate.  Peter followed her to calm her down.  Several minutes later she returned and stood in front of Rhodey.

"Sorry," she said.  "I still have a lot to learn about working with a team."

"Don't sweat it," said Rhodes, grinning at her.  "You care enough to be here.  That says a lot about you."

Smiling sheepishly at him she took her place with the others.  It was about an hour before the quinjet approached, expertly landed by Clint.  He came out to Kate's hugs, patting her on the back before waving at the others, noticing Shaun, with a questioning look.

"I'm the new guy," explained the young martial artist.  "Wong recruited me."

"What can you tell us?" asked Sam, focusing on Clint.

"Two military helicopters, between 6-8 passengers each, one apparently launched from an aircraft carrier seen travelling in a southeasterly direction, the other out of Nassau," said Clint.  "They landed on the beach, waking up most of the people in the area.  According to those who looked out their windows they saw Bucky running along the beach away from his villa.  No one saw Nebula or Tracey, but someone did see a UFO leaving the island shortly after, shooting straight up into the sky."

"Any witnesses to what happened to Bucky?" asked Rhodes.

Clint shook his head.  "There was a palm tree broken in two, with blood on the break.  I took a sample to see if it was Bucky's.  I did find a broken taser lead in the sand near the tree and evidence of someone firing an unknown weapon as there were scorch marks that looked like they came from above.  The resort is packing up their things and will hold them until we pick them up."

At that moment Rhodes got a notice on his display and turned away to respond to it.  "That was the FBI," he said, turning back to the others.  "They had surveillance on the house and a dark SUV drove up then parked in front.  Four men exited and broke into the house.  They've been taken into custody but they're not saying anything.  Still trying to identify them.  Likely mercenaries."  He looked at Clint.  "We got word of who else has been forced to be part of Ross's task force.  Yelena Belova is one of them, so is her foster father, Alexei Shostakov, also known as Red Guardian.  He has super soldier powers but not as much as Bucky or Walker."  He looked at Scott.  "Does the name Ava Starr mean anything to you?"

Scott made a face.  "Yeah, she's a former SHIELD operative who survived a quantum accident as a child.  Allows her to phase in and out of existence.  She also packs a big punch.  Calls herself Ghost.  I promised to help her, but she dropped off the radar.  She might not be that unwilling."

There were several other names that Rhodes listed so they all piled on to the quinjet to look over their profiles on the onboard computer.  It didn't look promising for them if Bucky couldn't convince them to resist.  Right at that moment Sam got a call on his suit.

"It's from Bucky's phone," he said excitedly.  "Bucky?"

"No, it's Tracey.  They have him, Sam.  Nebula was there to take his arm and she helped me get away.  We're just over Africa."

"With the arm?" he asked, as if not believing they had it.

"Yeah, with his arm," said Tracey.  "Is it true?  Did he know this would happen?"

He didn't answer for several moments, knowing Bucky had wanted to shield her from his suspicions. "We all suspected they would try when you were away from help.  It's why he took his gear.  We sent Nebula ourselves, a contingency to make sure you got away, although he didn't know it would be her.  If they knew you were pregnant, there's no telling what they would do to you."

"What will they do to him?" she asked, her voice betraying her fear.

"I'm not going to speculate on that," he replied.  "I do know that he's going to disrupt them as much as he can.  There's one more thing.  It's looking like John Walker was part of it all along."

"All Bucky ever wanted was to live his life without anyone interfering," said Tracey, her voice almost breaking.  "Why couldn't they just leave him alone?"

"I know," said Sam.  "When he found you, he had hope for that life.  He still does, if we can stop these people from completing their plans."

Her voice began to break up while he repeatedly said her name, but she didn't answer, and Sam realized the call had been dropped.  He looked at everyone.

"Well, they'll be in Wakanda soon," he said.  "With the arm, meaning Shuri can find where he is.  Start checking your weapons and prepare to leave on a moment's notice."

He placed a call to Wakanda and told Shuri he had made contact with Tracey.  She promised to allow them to enter the country, but she was concerned about Nebula's priorities until they actually arrived.  He agreed but told her to play it by ear.  If she got this far with the arm everything might work out.  After that conversation was over, he and Rhodes made eye contact.  It was going to be a long day.

An hour later they received the coordinates of Bucky's location and piled on to the quinjet, making their plans for landing on an aircraft carrier currently on the Atlantic heading to Africa.  Sam, Joaquin and Rhodes would leave the quinjet first, providing aerial reconnaissance of what they were up against.  Then Thor and Valkyrie would exit the quinjet by riding down to the carrier deck using Thor's lightning.  After that Clint would land the aircraft and the others would head out, attacking everyone who put up resistance to them.  Rhodes and Sam would go after Ross, taking him into custody, plus whichever industrialists who had bankrolled this operation that were onboard.  Several in the US and Europe had already been arrested, as the sorcerers had been able to get into the minds of the four mercenaries sent to take Rebecca.  Apparently the former Secretary of State had flipped as well, giving names.  As they picked up the carrier on their scans Sam received a breathless message from Bucky in his earpiece and everything ground to a halt as he yelled to Clint to turn around.  Everyone looked strangely at him as he buried his face in his hands.

It had been several hours since Bucky was dragged onto the helicopter and strapped into one of the seats.  The two helicopters were definitely out over the ocean, and he suspected this task force had a ship at their disposal.  He wasn't expecting to see an aircraft carrier in the distance.  Walker smirked at him.

"Impressed, aren't you?" he asked, seeming pleased with himself.  "We have some big backers for this operation.  Fighter jets, attack helicopters, experienced soldiers."

"Mercenaries, you mean," replied Bucky.  "Wouldn't trust any of them with my six.  Surprised you would, considering your military background."

"They get the job done," sneered Walker.  "They got you, didn't they?  Plus a few others with abilities.  Not sure what use you are now but we'll let Ross decide that.  As a former general he knows how to assign and delegate."

"They likely have your wife in custody, John," said Bucky.  "Did you prepare her to be held like a common criminal, considering you're now a fugitive?"

"She believes in me," he replied, breezily.  "She'll be alright.  If they hurt her, I'll kill them."

"She doesn't know, does she?" asked Bucky.  "She still thinks you're this big war hero, cheated out of his proper due.  Tell me, how did you explain it to her when you killed that Flag Smasher?  It was pretty brutal, surely she must have seen all the cell phone videos showing it over and over again.  Did she believe your lies?"

"Shut your fucking mouth," said Walker, "or I'll toss you out."

Bucky smirked.  "Sure, John.  You left her ignorant of what you really are, and unprotected, your own wife.  Mine is probably safe in Wakanda by now."

"Yeah, well that place won't be safe for long," muttered Walker.

"Thanks, John, you just confirmed my theory of Ross's endgame," said Bucky, trying to be as irritating as possible.  "He really doesn't know what he's up against.  You'll all be in the Raft by the time this farce has played itself out."

"I said shut the fuck up," roared Walker, lunging at Bucky. 

The men on either side of Bucky leaned away, not wanting to get hurt by Walker's rage.  Bucky laughed, a cynical taunting laugh, even after the other man struck him several times. 

"Boss!" yelled one of them.  "Ross wants him in one piece."

"He's a super soldier, he'll heal," muttered Walker, sitting back down and wiping Bucky's blood that covered his fist onto his leg.

Bucky spat blood out in between Walker's feet, smiling a bloody smile and enjoying himself fully.  A little bit of pain was completely worth getting under the other man's skin.  He looked at the mercenaries and focused on one of them, a younger guy.

"The guards in the Raft will have a field day with you," he said.  "They'll like your pretty eyes.  I'm sure you'll be offered to one of their more dangerous residents as a prize."

The man ignored him, so Bucky made a kissing sound, receiving another hit from Walker for his efforts.  Once again, he laughed, making himself appear as unhinged as possible.  He considered what John said about the mercenaries taking others with abilities, wondering who and how many.  Ross had to know that he, Bucky Barnes, wouldn't cooperate and he doubted very much that the other enhanced people would either, unless that slippery asshole had an ace in the hole.  An idea he had considered before germinated again in Bucky's mind and he accepted his suspicions were probably right, considering how confident Walker seemed. 

Looking again at the assortment of mercenaries he found the one he was looking for; the guy who smoked Japanese cigarettes.  Observing his hands closely Bucky noticed the guy had all of his fingers.  He wasn't former Yakuza, because they would have made him cut off one of his fingers as a promise not to divulge any of their operations.  Therefore, he was still working for them, meaning they were involved in this operation and their likely target was Clint Barton.  He had already been hunted by them and had managed to elude capture and/or being killed in other attempts, attempts brokered by Val de Fontaine.

Their helicopter was heading east over the ocean which meant they were heading for the ship, then Africa, as had been expected.  When his position was shared with the Avengers the rescue plan would be implemented, bringing the rest of the Avengers to the carrier.  Unless, this ace in the hole that Ross was holding had a way to turn all of them, him, the Avengers and the enhanced humans already captured by Ross and his mercenary team.  Resigned, Bucky knew what he had to do to confirm his suspicions and focused his attention on the Yakuza operative.

"Hey, did you have to give your boss a blow job to get in on this operation?" he asked in Japanese, putting on his best douchebag voice.  "Does he make you wear a harajuku girl dress while his cock is in your mouth or is he into furries?  I bet you look cute as a bear, a panda bear, yeah... I can picture you as a panda bear furry, sucking some old Japanese guy's saggy cock."

In a fury the other man came over to Bucky to beat him and the others had to separate them.  None of them noticed that Bucky had slipped a knife out of the man's leg sheath, hiding it against his leg.  He sat there grinning at the man, knowing he had probably hit close to the mark.  Some of those yakuza leaders were into freaky shit.  At that moment a song came into his head, (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, the Bryan Adams song that was used in that Kevin Costner Robin Hood movie.  It wasn't a very good movie but that song was now stuck in his head as an ear worm, reinforcing to Bucky that he had to do this, had to protect the people he loved, all of them, but especially Tracey and the baby.  With a quick flick of the knife he sliced the belt that was holding him in place in the helicopter, leaped to the open doorway, turned around to look at all their surprised faces and fell backwards with a big grin on his face.  It took him maybe three seconds to do that.  In the next three seconds he activated his dedicated comms piece to Sam that was integrated in the collar of his jacket.

"Sam?  I'm sure of it," he said loudly against the rush of air as he fell towards the water.  "Abort the rescue.  It's a trap.  They have a plan to turn all of you."  At that moment a portal opened below him and he passed through it, landing hard on the deck of Ross's aircraft carrier.  The wind was knocked out of him but he recovered quickly, looking up to see a man previously identified as a dangerous sorcerer approaching him.  Bucky passed on his last bit of intelligence before shutting the comms down.  "They have that sorcerer.  One of the big three, damn them."

Next to where the comms had been integrated into his collar was another device, a small one, and he pressed the button mounted on the end.  In the fraction of a nanosecond before it activated, Bucky's mind and heart found his connection to Tracey, like a bright shining river of light that stretched to eternity.  Racing ahead of the glowing ball of energy behind him he found her.  She was sleeping, probably tired after all the excitement of being attacked, rescued, and flown to Wakanda.  He gazed at her, full of the love she had brought out of him almost from the moment they met. 

"Baby, wake up," he said gently, touching her hair then her cheek with his left hand, smiling that it was his flesh hand, from before the fall. 

Interesting that he would get it back now, just another nanosecond before it was all over for him.  She opened her eyes, widening them at the sight of him then grasping his hand with hers, not understanding why he was in her dream, touching her with a flesh and blood left hand.  That Bryan Adams song was getting louder and he wanted to cry with how beautiful she was as the music played.

"Where are you?" she asked, confused.  "What's going on?  Why is that song playing?"

"I don't have long," he said, glancing behind him at the incoming blast.  "I have to do this to protect you, and our son, Rebecca, your mom, Sam, everyone that I love and care about.  I'm sorry we won't have longer together but this feeling, what I feel for you?  It's forever, Tracey.  I love you more than anything."

Tracey noticed the glow behind him and her eyes widened in fear as she recognized the mushroom shaped orange cloud.  "No, Bucky!  NO!" she screamed.  "Don't leave me."

"It's the only way to stop them," he replied, holding and kissing her now.  "I would die for you."

With a slight push he released her and fell back into the expanding light as she was dragged away from him back into the palace where she was taking a nap.  Sitting up in a panic her screams were heard by everyone in the magnificent structure.

The night before the wedding, hotel room

Bucky lit the cigar of the raccoon sitting across from him.  Then he leaned forward with the bottle of scotch and poured.  The furry animal put his hand out when it was enough and grasped it, taking a sip.

"Damn, that's pretty good," said Rocket in his rough gravelly voice.  "So, what's your proposal, Soldier Boy?"

"I know you want it," said Bucky.  "You make something for me and I'll make sure you get it.  You might get it in a roundabout way but you'll get it."

"Okay, but what do you want in return?"

"An explosive device, small but with a very big kick, if it's possible," said Bucky, in an even voice.  "Ignition by a button so all I have to do is push it and it's done.  The explosion has to be big enough to take out an aircraft carrier but it can't hurt any marine life.  I'm sure Quill has told you about aircraft carriers.  They're the size of a small city.  I want it to fit in the collar of this jacket and it has to get through all the scans they do in the transportation system so it won't trigger an alert or emergency response.  It has to be ready before Sam picks us up to take us to the airport on Sunday."

Bucky brought his blue leather combat jacket out and tossed it at the raccoon.  The raccoon put his cigar and drink down, so he could examine the jacket, then he looked up at Bucky. 

"You know you won't survive it," said Rocket.  "Not even a sorcerer can open a portal fast enough to get you out of there.  Who knows where Dr. Strange is or if he's found a Time Stone so there's no coming back from this."

"I know, but I have a feeling that this might become the only option," said Bucky.  "I won't ask anyone else to do this.  This is my job, mine alone."

"You're getting married tomorrow and you're already planning to make your wife a widow.  That's pretty cold, Bucky."

"No, it's protecting the ones I love, especially her."

"Buck," said Sam, who had sat quietly until this moment.  "This is a crazy backup plan.  You know that, right?"

"What else can we do?" replied Bucky.  "They'll need an aircraft carrier to act as a mobile base of operations and once they take me that's where they'll head to.  They know I won't cooperate with them if Tracey and Rebecca are already in a secure location.  So Ross and Fontaine must have a plan to turn me.  The words don't work anymore.  That leaves magic which means a sorcerer."

Sam smirked.  "One of the big three."

Bucky laughed, a dark grim laugh.  He wasn't going down that rabbit hole with Sam again.  Turning his attention back to Rocket Raccoon, he watched him looking at the dimensions of the jacket's collar and nodding his head, thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I can do it," said Rocket.  "What guarantee do I have that I'll get the arm?"

Bucky activated the kimoyo bead bracelet on his wrist, bringing up the image of Shuri, in the Wakanda embassy in New York City.  She smiled at him and Sam, then frowned slightly when she saw Rocket.  Already knowing what this was about she looked at the raccoon.

"As Queen of Wakanda, I promise that you will receive Bucky's arm," she said.  "However, the vibranium in it will be made inert, an irreversible process so that you will be unable to use it as an explosive.  I promise this on the honour of my ancestors."

"Proposal accepted," said Rocket to all of them.  "Just so you know that was never why I wanted it.  I just appreciate quality workmanship.  I'll take good care of it, I promise.  We'll have to head out right away to get the components.  Might make us late for your wedding.  Quill was looking forward to it.  I could tell him it's for a quick job that just came up."

"Don't tell them it's for me," said Bucky.  "If anyone here asks where you are I'll say I didn't know where to send the invitation.  Just come when you can.  It's open bar all night long."

The raccoon stuck his hand out, shaking Bucky's to seal their deal.

Chapter 21>>

Series Masterlist

Please support the author by reblogging.

[aetherceuse]

So.

It's been a few weeks since I announced taking a step back from Lusamine's blog, and, I think I'm at a point where I can put my struggles into words.

Before I get into my issue, I'm politely asking that this post is read and digested. In the past, whenever I post about something that I am struggling with in terms of roleplay and community interaction, my post has been used as a springboard for the dash to turn into "vent hour." That isn't what I want. I'm genuinely asking for people to read this, to digest it, and respect the fact that I am having a major issue with writing this character, which has been preventing me from actually being active-- and it is rooted in how the muse, and her information, has been treated.

I'm not tagging this as drama, because it is not drama. This isn't pointed at any individuals, because frankly, it's an issue I have had with writing villains my entire life, and it's only been amplified on Lusamine's blog in particular.

For starters: Lusamine is a beloved muse of mine. She is one of my favorites to sit down, dissect, and write about. It's important for people to understand that all of my canon muses are retellings in a way, but with Lusamine, that's ESPECIALLY important to understand. This Lusamine is not canon, she is a retelling, with her own backstory and world-relevant lore that is very important for people to read, grasp, and understand before proceeding forward with interactions.

However, it doesn't seem as though people really-- respect that, or even bother to read the bio and headcanons that I've written on her. I can tell, because a lot of the interactions I get are people reacting to canon events that haven't happened in my retelling. Mother Beast, for example, hasn't happened, and I've stated that multiple times over and over, yet that seems to be falling on deaf ears.

I really need my writing partners to actually read my content, and understand what I'm doing. I don't write headcanon posts and bios just because I wanna take up space on Tumblr dot com. I write them because they're a crucial part of what I'm doing.

And honestly-- that's not even the biggest issue I've had.

It is EXHAUSTING to open my ask box on a daily basis, and deal with asks sent in just calling her: bitch, cunt, 'Lusa-mean', 'Lusa-bitch', whatever. I don't think you guys understand how mentally taxing, and depressing that is for me. I get it. I'm writing the villain. Lusamine hasn't done great things. But I feel as though people are forgetting that there is an actual, human person sitting behind the inbox, who is writing a character that he loves-- and instead of getting thoughtful engagement, it's a barrage of "bitch." I've had to block people for doing this (IF you are reading this post on the dashboard, that means you're not guilty of doing this.).

But, this extends to the dashboard too. I feel as though I cannot write or do anything without someone dash comming or being automatically aggressive the moment Lusamine even so much as opens her mouth.

It's really, really not fun to be minding my business, and receive asks, IM's, or dash comms of this nature-- especially when I'm trying to write a complex character. I pour my heart and soul into what I write. And it's really sad that I have all of this stuff that people could be reading, interacting with, and reacting too-- and instead people just focus on all of the potential trauma that Lusamine could subject them to. It's not fun. At all. It really makes me feel like shit. I don't want to be used as the target of someone's parental trauma. Just because I am writing a villain, does not mean I am consenting to be nothing but an angst punching bag. I want to write stories, not just receive one-liners and zingers and "AH HAH, GOTCHAS!" in my ask box.

Frankly, I do not have nearly this much of a problem on any of my other antagonist blogs. Even though I'm still subject of whump at many times, it's not nearly as bad anywhere else, as it is on Lusamine's blog. It's really discouraging, and it makes me feel like I'm writing something that people don't really have any care or interest for. I get that my writing can be a little strange and off putting. I know that I dig into uncomfortable topics. It's not for everybody, but, I've never been the type of person to try and appeal to the greater audience. I'm very niche.

We talk about communication in this community a lot. We talk about wanting to interact. We talk about feeling as though engagement is down. And while I sit here and write this, I'm reflecting on that ongoing issue. I really feel as though we can improve the health of peoples' experience in this RPC if we-- y'know-- actually sat down, read what our partners are writing-- and ask questions/engage with it.

I don't know when I'll return to Lusamine's blog. I'm not deleting it obviously, I've put a lot of hard work into her character. But, until I feel as though there's a genuine interest in reading what I have going on, and engaging with it fairly, I'm going to keep my focus on Proton-- because, honestly, I feel really insecure on this account. At least over on Proton, it seems as though people are reading my glitch lore, respecting my muse/worldbuilding, and interacting with it. And it means the world to me. I hope to have that here one day too.

[starrzies]

★I Was Scammed out of $285 by my Ex. [Open Commissions]★

Any and All Shares are Appreciated! This situation SUCKS.

DO NOT WITCHUNT OR HARRASS THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. I DO NOT SUPPORT OR AGREE WITH ANYONE WHO CHOOSES TO DO THIS. I WILL BLOCK YOU ON ALL PLATFORMS IF YOU DO THIS SHIT.

**Little mistake on slide 5!! The top little but of the PayPal details are the same as the top 2 in the HQ image beneath, that is my bad. I should not have rushed this post as much as I did :( **Second mistake, the $15 payment from him on 1/11/24 was a commission. That was not him paying me back. **HIS NEW PARTNER WHO CLAIMS I FINANCIALLY ABUSED HIM IS A MINOR. Why is a minor making those claims and in the business of 2 grown adults? Partner or not, they should not be saying this without full context or even be involved in the first place.

EDIT‼️‼️ I just found out 8 days prior to me sending him the first amount of money he was bragging about how much money he had.

Proof is below.

Idek what to say anymore. Post says everything basically.

Feel free to form your own opinions. Any and all help and shares are appreciated as well. NOTE!! I have detailed his behavior in screenshot form on my close friends story on Instagram FOR MONTHS, PEOPLE HAVE SEEN WHAT HE DID TO ME AND KNOW WHO HE REALLY IS.

I am disgusted, I am hurt, I feel violated after everything that he did to me. I was no saint, I did wrongs and I am not afraid to admit it. However, what he did to me and everyone else involved is not okay, there are THOUSANDS of screenshots to prove what he did and how vile and disgusting he truly is. He has lied to so many other people to who I can't even find or begin to look of because of his secrecy,

I want to move on with my life. I have begun to. I want to heal and close this chapter, but not without atleast trying to fill that hole which should have been filled.

Do not make the same mistakes I did. Stay the fuck away from him, for your own sake, for mine, and for the other people involved.

No callout post for the other things he did will be made. This is it unless the time comes. He has my personal details and can use it against me. I am not trying to piss him off to that point.

I'm hurt and I was used along with so many other people. I'm tired of this and I'm tired of him.

Thank you everyone for the support and I'm sorry for bringing this forward but I will not be silenced.

Please consider commissioning me or buying my charms, it would mean a lot and will seriously help me as I job hunt <3

[determunition]

~september update~

hi everyone! it is time for another blog update! so let's run through some new stuff since my last post hoohoo

OLD_FOLKS HOME chapter 26 is up if you missed it! this one's the conclusion to the grandkid deathmatch arc, and i'm pretty happy with it! i've also been getting some lovely feedback on it so far so thank you :3 you can read it right here!

i finished my latest shovel knight board, the claws of fate! i spent a lot of time polishing this one, and i'm super happy with how it came out; you can check it out here on my blog, or on youtube right here!

as a reminder, i have an OC sideblog over on @detercade! i just finished a super cool comic project for one of my characters that i'm very proud of, so if it strikes your fancy you can go check it out right here!

now for upcoming projects:

i will be focusing on updating my shop this month! so keep an eye out because i will be brainstorming designs, running polls on what you guys would be interested in buying, etc. i'm pretty excited about it!

i've already cracked into OFH chapter 27! i'm already very excited for the direction the fic is going heading into the next act; if i were to throw out a prediction i'd say it's coming out early next month ^^

not an upcoming project, but my comms are open as always! you can check out my prices right over here; i'd love to draw for you!

that's all for this month! i've been busy with job hunting and other real life stuff recently so my artistic endeavors on this blog have been a bit more divided than usual; i hope you guys enjoy what i've put out recently and what i have coming down the pipeline! i appreciate each and every one of you and always love hearing from you ^w^

thanks for reading all my lil ramblings as always and hope you guys have a good week!