#i have better things to do then sit here and be upset over some dickless fuckwit

[dragonanon]

Anon hate on this hellsite always makes me laugh. Like bruh, If you’re SO certain that you’re justified in saying what you’re saying, then why are you hiding behind anonymity??

The answer is simple; it’s because you know damn well that what you’re saying is wrong, and that you’d be facing backlash if people knew who you were! You want to have your cake and eat it too, so you hide behind anonymity and act like an awful little garbage fire of a human while also getting to avoid the consequences of your actions.

I have no time or patience for people like this. If you don’t even have the balls to make yourself known, then whatever BS you have to spew literally could not matter less to me. I’m not going to waste my time and energy being upset at someone so cowardly they can’t even insult me without being anonymous.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

I’ve mangled the start of this draft

116

Levi felt like shit. Eren had wanted to talk to him, but after spending the morning jogging with Erwin, he’d had enough free therapy. Erwin felt that they should go away. That he and Eren should lie low until this new mess could be investigated fully. Packing up their lives to live in some shit box wasn’t Levi’s idea of a smart plan. Who knew how long they’d be gone if they went? Or where they’d end up. With Hanji and Erwin they were likely to wind up back in Stohess in some equally shitty little house in the shitty suburbs where they’d have to hide their true identities even when it was time for Eren to give birth.

“Are you sure you’re okay with him going out with Armin?”

Crossing his arms, Levi didn’t want to hear it from Mike. His boyfriend had made him a fresh cup of tea and he’d been forced to ignore it thanks to his pissy alpha. He knew doing so would upset Eren, but his bloody stupid alpha had still had its nose out of joint because just that had happened

“Tch. He’s fine with Armin. Eren’s missed him, so leave them be. Our bigger problem is if Kenny is involved and the lengths he’d go to to keep his job”

Honestly he absolutely dreaded the idea of Kenny meeting Eren. Kenny wasn’t exactly normal, nor would he have an issue with ending Eren’s life should the need come up. Should he and Eren leave, it was possible they both be murdered before anyone else had an inkling something was wrong

“Is Kenny really that bad?”

“He’s bad enough. He’d slit a throat and think nothing of it. That little fucker certainly got himself caught up in one hell of a shit show”

Erwin cleared his throat

“Yes, well, I did hope to discuss things with Eren given Floch wasn’t forthcoming last night on his own accord. Has he spoken to you at length?”

No. He’d wanted to… His omega practically begged him with those big shitty eyes to sit down and talk things out

“No. If Floch isn’t going to cooperate I’d rather not put more pressure on Eren”

“Then what do you think we should do about Floch?”

Raising an eyebrow at his friend, Levi wasn’t sure he should be asked about that to do with that lump of walking shit. He’d found himself unable to do anything other than think rationally about the situation due to Eren. Swallowing hard, his alpha growled at his thought, not wanting to admit he wasn’t capable of handling things

“Honestly… Eren and I should be removed from these decisions. We both want Floch to face some form of formal punishment for his actions, but if you ask me what I’d like to do… well… there’s a whole lot of forest out there”

And a whole lot of ways to make sure Floch could never be identified… No. His idiot alpha was far too keen for Floch’s blood to be spilt for all he’d done

“I’ll keep that in mind as a last resort. For now we need to pick the path of least resistance. Ideally that’d mean having Eren have another go at Floch…”

“You can’t sit them down together”

Well… fuck. He’d gone and said it now. Erwin waiting for Levi to continue, though they all knew the outburst was his true feeling on the matter he still appreciated Erwin giving him a chance to cover himself

“I mean… Eren is strong enough for the interview, but… shit…”

He felt like he was betraying Eren. He knew how strong his brat was, yet couldn’t help but definitely not want Eren in front of Floch

“…”

He didn’t have a continuation. Erwin giving up on letting him dig his way out when he’d just gone and dug that hole deeper instead

“Are you telling me Eren isn’t in the right mental space to be questioning Floch?”

“It’s not that. What I would like is for Floch to take any commands off that may be in place, formally and recorded, but as for questioning Floch, I don’t feel Floch would be forthcoming if it was Eren. He’s half insane with his feelings about Eren, to the point he feels no remorse for hitting Eren in the stomach nor trying to bite him. Should Floch threaten Eren, he may not be able to keep his temper. Ideally we lay low until we can get in touch with the panel, then present both Floch and the taped conversations with him”

“Isn’t that going to anger Kenny?”

No shit. It wasn’t even a question worth discussing. Perhaps if he had been more open in the past with his team about his past then Eld wouldn’t be interrupting to ask something so stupid

“At this stage anything we do is going to cause a shitty fucking chain reaction. The only path Eren and I can take is the path that will leave us with the least regrets”

Erwin gave a slight nod. His friend had tried to understand what he was going through with Eren, but not having a mate of his own or having felt the pull of a compatible partner, Erwin couldn’t come close to imagining the way all the shitty “what if’s” had set in. The biggest thing hanging over them was the “what if” of Eren having another possible drop from the stress they were all under

“I’ve already suggested perhaps they’d be best leaving early. If you were to take Eren to Nedlay and work there with Pixis until we’ve contacted the panel…”

Bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, Levi felt a headache coming on. Erwin was supposed to be the brains of their operation. He should have been putting some form of strategy into place from the moment they’d gotten their hands on Floch. Stating the obvious, the alpha loathed their current situation when doing the right thing could bring Kenny to his doorstep, but if they backed off… If they backed off, then everything would have been for nothing. Everything Eren had worked so hard for had been turned into a joke by Floch. The shit had disrespected his omega, and had proved himself as slimy as turd. Without evidence Floch would find a way to slip through the hands of the panel, especially given they’d kidnapped him

“Even if we drop them in their laps, there’s no guarantee Floch will cooperate or that they will listen. What we need is more data on the Reiss and Reeves families that backs up Floch’s allegations”

Casting a glance towards the cabin window, Erwin felt his pockets for his keys as he did

“I’ve got a copy of the information our team’s pulled up on Floch in the back of my car. Eld, swap out with Gunther. See if you can get a dose of suppressants down Floch’s throat. We don’t need him going feral from his alpha. Levi, you’ll help me run through what we know, I want you to try and think back to when you were with Eren undercover and anything at all that might be related, no matter how small. Mike, I want you to go check on Eren and Armin. I’ll get those files. If we can’t use Eren to take a run at Floch, maybe there something there that’ll rattle him?”

The way Erwin spoke felt as if Levi had labelled Eren as useless. He felt like he’d betrayed his boyfriend, despite promising to always be on his side. This having a boyfriend thing was hard when both of them couldn’t act the way they wanted, harder still when Levi wasn’t sure he was prepared to ask Eren to go into hiding with him if they should need to. Armin and Mikasa were Eren’s real family, and the family he’d need of something went wrong with the pregnancy, as well as being the first two Eren would want to tell if everything went smoothly and they welcomed their little girl into the world without a hiccup. No longer could he make the kind of threats he’d used to, at least not in person while Eren was pregnant

“Use his family. Eren said that piece of shit was a Mumma’s boy… and on top of the shame of having a son like him, I doubt his father would appreciate this going to the press”

“Let’s save the press for now. If Historia is in danger we could tighten the noose around her neck. We’re better off trying to get her on our side, once we’ve analysed everything all over again”

Unless Erwin had a magical shitty fucking teleporter in that shit sedan of his, that would mean holding onto Floch for an indefinite amount of time…

“Tch. How the shit are we supposed to do that given where we fucking are?”

“I’ll do a run out tonight and call through to Petra. She’ll be able to discuss things further with Mikasa”

“Eren won’t be happy about dragging her in, even if she wants to help”

“Whether they like it or not, both she and Jean are already involved”

It was easy enough to imagine Mikasa had the remainder of their team already under her thumb

“That doesn’t mean we need to make shit worse for them. If you’re going out to call anyone, you should alert the panel and get the first available fucking audience with them. The whole point of bringing our families in is so they don’t wind up as collateral damage. Here we are, caught with our shitty thumbs up our arses thanks to fuck-knuckle wank stain. We’re all too personally involved now”

Shaking his head at him, Erwin knew he was right. This filthy cabin was no place for any of them. The longer they spent inside the less dirty the outside world seemed in comparison

“You know, typically people getting sex regularly aren’t as stressed as you are”

Levi could have hit him. Mike and Eld snorting as the alpha glared at his friend. Eren dropping again was nothing to joke about

“Right. Because now’s time to be fucking joking around. Eren’s already had one fucking drop, this could push him into a second, but by all means go ahead and talk about our sex life, just don’t blame me when you’re a dickless wonder and Mike’s feeding you through a tube for the rest of your life”

Erwin chuckled at his grumping giving Levi the feeling he would have reached out and ruffled his hair if the shit stain thought he could get away with it

“At least your sense of humour’s still intact”

“You’re the one who started it. Pop the trunk already, I want to be done with this cabin as soon as possible”

He’d told Erwin that both he and Eren were in agreement. That if something were to happen, then they’d leave without question seeing how intimately involved they were and knowing that as supportive as they were there was no way their friends could truly understand what it’d been like for both of them. Most of their shitty fucking jog had been Erwin prying into his relationship with Eren and how Eren was coping with this. Levi was loathe to admit that Eren really did seem to be coping better with this than he’d thought he would be. He was just as unhappy to admit that quietly part of him was jealous that Floch would always remain a festering wound for the both of them. For Levi it wasn’t enough to play Floch saying he was taking any commands off of Eren. He wanted the arsehole to sit there and to admit that he’d knowingly and vindictively fucked Eren over with what he’d done, and he wanted Eren to have that piece of mind knowing that Floch had absolutely no input into any of Eren’s actions or decisions.

[cherry3point14]

To Catch A Winchester.

Pairing: Demon!Reader x Evil. Dean x Pie. Warnings: Demon!Reader likes bad things. The first scene is, like, kind of evil. Killing people and such. Also complete demon crack. Word Count: 3,056. Prompt: This post. A/N: I don’t have a good excuse for this. I made this gif and loved it so much I wanted to write something and it’s terrible. But mainly I need y’all to tell me how much you love this gif I made because I have watched it a thousand times.

Ao3 if your prefer

You’re reminded of that old show Madeline.

With lightning slicing through the night—occasionally illuminating the pews as you wandered through the church—here you are with your very own version.

Twelve little nuns lined up in a row. Slit their throats and a seal will blow!

A holy river of blood from steeple to sanctuary. A fancy way of saying bathe a church in blood, holy blood at that. It was such a delectable prospect you’d practically begged for the opportunity.

They’re tied up in the pews and you take them one by one. Each nun only goes so far. A couple killed in the tower, the belfry, a few in the lantern. The only problem is there’s one that won’t stop talking. On and on about how you could be saved, it wasn’t too late. How God still loves you. After your third trip down the stairs for your next victim, you’d gone as far as landing a punch to her ancient jaw. The way her bones had cracked under your hand was lovely.

She’d looked like she’d almost died. Beautiful, knocked the wind right out of her until she catches her breath and tells you. “You catch more flies with honey.”

Coming from a super-nun aside you like that turn of phrase. You lock it away in the back of your head for a rainy day, it’ll come in handy you think.

Then finally you take Sister Mary-won’t-shut-up to the bottom of the spire, climbing out into the humid night. It had rained but it’s stopped. The wet surface of the building, with your crimson additions, makes for a very pretty, glossy sight. Reflective even in the darkness. Really does look like an entire river when actually it’s only twelve dead nuns.

Eleven, you suppose. You’re about to kill number twelve. A flick of your wrist and she whizzes to the top while you climb, a knife between your teeth and the inky black of your eyes saying more than the mouth of your meat suit ever could.

Demons can’t be saved. God doesn’t love me. Lucifer does.

You’re straddling the cross at the top of the church, because why the hell not, while you drain her now limp body. Thunder booms and another strike of lightning reveals the outcome of your efforts. You wish you could take a fucking picture. This is what most demons are missing, some goddamn artistic vision. This church covered in holy blood was your hellish Mona Lisa.

After the seal’s break and Lucifer rises you had arrogantly assumed that evil and shadow would finally rule the Earth. Couldn’t heaven give it up and accept defeat already?

Now, it’s a whole new ballgame. The Winchesters are to be meat suits. Lucifer actually wants to wear one of them. Even Michael the dickless could do better. Although it wasn’t your place to say that, ever, unless you wanted to become a sacrifice to the demon blood cause when the time comes. Which, you didn’t. Things were more fun top side. There are only so many hundreds of years you can torture people in hell before it becomes repetitive.

You’ve fought on Earth for the cause for decades now, and you have no intention of stopping. Everyone has their part to play. Unfortunately, a big part of yours was breaking seals. You were fucking great at breaking seals because it required one of your best skills; creativity. So, you’re turning that creativity to something else. Hunting down Michael’s sword. Hell’s most wanted.

Dean Winchester.

Which leads you to Canton. Although technically you’d started in Cleveland. You’d caught wind of that stupid car they drive and followed them. Dumbasses the pair of them.

Whatever. Not the point. Nobody needs these boys for their brains, it's what's in their blood. The point is you’re in Canton now, so are they. They’re trying to stop some people dying because, disgustingly, that’s what they do with their limited time left on Earth.

See, here’s where you’re taking a slightly different approach. Most of your fellow black-eyed friends would go in swinging, throw them against a wall like all the demons who have failed to take them down before. Sometimes demons are so... so… obvious.

Not you. In all the time you’ve been up here you’ve had time to be bored. There are only so many missions and murders to commit. Even sex has grown tiresome. Humans are weak and none of them like pain as much as they claim to. Pathetic. So, you’re creative and you’re bored, and that’s how you learned patience.

It’s not enough to catch them in a moment of weakness. Those moments don’t last. They’re downward blips with quick recoveries, the Winchesters have impressive rebound rates and a knack for getting out of trouble. You need to focus on their weaknesses, those two extra letters make a huge difference.

You needed to find out what would bring them down and stay down. Or Dean at least. Figure out Dean’s vulnerability. Because Sam has some sort of loathsome bond with his big brother, enough that he’s given up on demon blood—for the time being. It won’t be enough to hurt Dean, you’ve got to split them up.

Which is how you end up in a bar, playing with the plastic cocktail stirrer between your fingers. The old fashioned the bartender made you is passable at best, no one has made you a good once since prohibition. Across the room is Dean Winchester knocking back beers like they’re going out of style.

This was going to be a time-consuming project it seems, how much could you really learn watching him like this? Clearly he’s an alcoholic but that’s not something that's helpful.

After the fourth beer, after he’s patted his empty glass at the pretty little tap whore, is when it happens. He looks up. Not at you directly, just up. His nostrils flare and you’re convinced that he’s smelt you. They may be dumb humans but they know about demons. You don’t freeze in fear for your life or anything, you didn’t want to give up this meat suit is all, she’s pretty enough to get free drinks most places.

The spell breaks when his phone rings before he has a chance to scan the room and lock eyes with you. You take a long drag of your drink, enough to empty the glass before you use the opportunity to escape. He’s turned his back to answer and you’ve seen all you need to see for now.

It’s a good thing you’re so patient or you might have fucked that up.

There’s something powerful in Nebraska. You can taste the cackle of demon in the air as soon as you arrive a few hours after Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber. The only thing you can think is, whoever it is better not waste your time. The Winchesters are officially yours and nobody will be taking them from you. Nobody else knows that and actually, you aren’t all that focused on Sam. Sam is Lucifers and you aren’t stupid enough to come between that. But, Dean?

Dean, you were looking forward to getting your hands on. The man has been to hell already and when you caught him and took him back with a bow on…? Oh, you would so enjoy breaking him. Again.

Until that blessed day, you slink around after them. Being subtle in the way you plot and scheme. So, yes, whatever demon is in Nebraska needs to stay away from your side mission that has become your sole focus.

You were project managing this bitch and you weren’t looking to delegate.

Ignoring the powerful thing in Nebraska, the town is wonderfully insane. People scratching their own brains out or that guy who ended up with square eyes from watching TV too long. Even the stuff that isn’t life-threatening is so fun that you have to respect the game.

You had no idea that the thing you could feel was him. The antichrist. You were an idiot.

The demon trying to get him goes in guns blazing, obviously, and the kid destroys him. Absolutely casts him out. Not just out of that meat suit of a mother, out of existence. And you’re watching the whole thing from across the street like a creep. You’re about to go in because you need that kid. Lucifer needs that kid. More than you need Dean. Enough to blow your cover but before you can, he’s gone.

The power disappears from Nebraska like it’s been sucked off the face of the planet. As much as it is a shame you can't say you're upset. Now you get to carry on your game.

The hotel is the sort of place you’d love to burn to the ground. It would look fantastic lit up in yellow and orange.

When you first step foot in the place nothing makes sense. Not the hundred wannabe Winchesters or the fact that there are humans walking around pretending to be demons. You don’t like being confused. You were supposed to be getting somewhere and now it’s like being back at square one.

After your initial shock, you actually want to test this out so you sit there in your pretty new meat suit and flick your eyes onyx. Some idiot next to you has the audacity to lean over and compliment your Ruby costume.

As if you would be caught dead calling yourself Ruby. Your fingers itch to snap his neck for the fun of it and you almost do. You only resist because you picked up your new skin a few days ago and there isn’t anyone that you can see who would be a suitable replacement.

Everyone piles into the conference room for some sort of announcement, eventually, leaving you in the hotel bar to figure things out.

There are books. How did no-one in hell talk about this? Everyone is obsessed with finding those boys and nobody thought to do the research. That’s the problem with demons these days, new evil, it’s all so rushed. Sometimes a lighter touch is required.

You steal copies from a stand while everyone is cheering about something in the other room. This follow the Winchesters crap is making you soft because that act of defiance alone makes your meat suit tingle. You should be concerned about that. Except only doing a light skim of the pages, you have a veritable bullet-pointed list of ways to make Dean Winchester cry. So, you’re still getting somewhere.

Hours later you’re in the car you stole along with this body and you see a word in the books, so innocuous that it shouldn’t stand out to you. Pie.

You remember that nun then, must have been more than a year ago. You remember that sentence you tucked away for a rainy day. Maybe you’re weakened by remembering how good it felt to break a seal that night. Maybe that memory makes you weak for the words she’d said after you felt her jaw crack.

You catch more flies with honey.

Most humans would call it a beautiful Sunday morning. Sweet Lucifer, crap like that made you sick.

It’s the perfect cover though. Nothing bad happens on Sunday mornings.

They’ve been staying in this bumfuck nowhere town outside of Phoenix because they escaped from a mental hospital or something. The ‘or something’ is probably pretty relevant but you don't care, not really, not unless it helps you.

If their guards are down, sure, it’ll help you out, if not, that was fine too. You’ve got the perfect plan anyway.

You watch Dean leave the motel they’re in looking, surly? Doesn’t matter, the fact is he’s alone. His face is explained when he stops in a diner to get coffee. He's tired. You’d been following him on foot till now because it’s easier to keep you distance walking around town, he won’t be in town much longer though.

You’ve been setting this up for days, weeks actually, but in this town; days. The plan has been in motion for a while you'd only been waiting for them to settle down for a few and finally, they did.

The woman behind the counter of the diner is named Glenda. Glenda is the sweetest little old lady this side of creation. Or at least that’s what you’d told her the last time you went in. You’ve been speaking to her every day, laying the foundation, taking the time to become her friend. It would be exhausting if you ever got exhausted.

Glenda has been telling anyone in a 30-mile radius about the pie truck that’s pulled up on the old Applewood farm, run by a ‘sweet young thing’. You run the best traveling bakery in the country, your mama taught you everything you know. You’ve been supplying the diner all week.

And now she’s telling Dean.

“Oh yes,” you can see Glenda nodding enthusiastically through the large windows. “All the pie we’ve had all week came from that truck. Apparently, she has a big setup for today and then she’s moving on.”

Dean’s eyebrows shoot up.

Perfect.

You jump into the car you’re using this week and wait the three minutes it takes for him to come sauntering out like the cat that got the damn cream. This idiot thinks he’s getting pie. Well, there is pie. You couldn’t lure him without having the pie. There’s also a trap is all.

It’s nice to follow Dean out to the farm, it’s nice because you know it’ll be the last time you have to follow his stupid car. After today you were cashing out.

Hayley is standing at the pie stand. You couldn’t be there obviously. Dean wouldn’t want a side of sulfur with his cherry pie. Hayley is a local you hired when you came into town. She’s more than happy to do everything for you, for the amount you’re paying her. You blame this whole 'catching with honey' schtick because you’re actually paying her too. You’d need to kill a whole mess of children after this to get the nice off of you.

Or breaking Dean might get you back to your brilliant, evil self.

He pulls up and his crapmobile bounces on its suspension with the same excitement he jumps out of the car with. Yes, you would enjoy making him pay for the months you’ve spent on this project.

Dean is so pleased as fucking punch to get a pie he doesn’t even notice your car crawling along the dirt path and parking some ways behind him.

The key here is the sign that says Try Our Award Winning Cherry Pie. It is award-winning. The bakery the pie actually came from won a gold star or some shit. You didn’t pay attention to the ins and outs, only that the pie looked perfect. That’s what you need, him to want that pie.

He does. The son of a bitch sees it and he grins. Points at the sign. He’s practically giddy.

Hayley nods to the second table, there’s only one left. You hadn’t planned that part. She must have had some customers already this morning. Glenda and her big mouth.

He takes a step towards it and you get out of your car. Another step and you start walking. A third and you pick up your pace.

He takes that last step, plants one foot in front of the table, and reaches out for the pie. Unlucky for him you’re sprinting to catch up and with a flick of your wrist, the table jumps back. The pie is in his hands so that’s fine, that’s safe, but now there’s a little space in front of him. Everything happens quickly. His second foot tries to catch up with his first except there’s no floor beneath him. The cloth mat the table had been sitting on falls away, supported by nothing.

You can’t help the laugh that comes out of you when he growls, “what the fuck?” before disappearing.

Hayley screams, whether at the table moving or the trap her customer falls into, it’s delightful. Fuck you missed hearing someone scream. Bloodcurdling and scared, it's a whole meal for your ears.

“Run home Hayley. Tell anyone about this and I’ll find you and kill you. ‘Kay?” She nods, tears starting to roll over her cheeks. She runs, as fast as she can, in such a hurry to leave she forgets her bike. If you remember later you’ll kill her anyway because damn is it nice to be back.

You have a Winchester to deal with first though.

The hole is 15 foot. You figured that would be enough to capture the 6-foot ape without him getting away.

You stand at the edge of the hole and look down. You almost laugh at the sight. Dean is standing in the bottom of this pit, the mat beneath his feet and the pie still in his hands. He's scuffed a little but the pie is perfectly intact. Damn, if you had a heart you'd say he deserves the pie.

You don't laugh though. It's time to put on your game face which means hands on your thighs as you lean over and stare down at him all-black eyes and satisfied smiles.

"Hi, Dean. A little birdie told me you like pie and I had the most, delicious, idea. Whatdy'a think?"

He looks equal parts stoic and mad, which is adorable. "Since when did you bitches get into baking?"

"What else are we gonna use all that fire and brimstone for?"

"Alright. What's the big plan then?"

His eyes don't leave yours, his hands still holding the pie as if it will save him. Somehow what you're about to do feels as wicked as painting that church.

You wave your hand and he slams into the dirt wall of his captivity. The pie falls to the floor, top first, his boot lands smashes into it.

"We're going on a road trip. Don't worry you won't need that where you're going."

By 'that' you mean the pie and by 'where' you mean the trunk of your stolen car.

Once this was all over you were going to teach fucking seminars on catching Winchesters. Because nobody does it better. 

5eva tags: @divadinag​ @darthdeziewok​ @fluentinfiction​ @witch-of-letters​ @supernatural-teamfreewill-blog​ @magnitude101999​ @alexwinchester23​​ @jesseswartzwelder​​ Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles​​ @akshi8278​​ @erins-culinary-service​​ @bloodydaydreamer​​ @iamabeautifulperson18​​

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

don't really know why i'm doing this here, considering i usually keep this kind of thing in private, but it's moogle overshares night i guess

just. i don't know. some thoughts about my brother i've needed to say for a long time, especially to myself. mostly copypasted from elsewhere.

tws for child abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and domestic violence under the cut.

brain: hey, wanna out of the blue remember that time you saw your oldest brother who was like 16-17 at the time trying to force your 12-year-old brother back-first onto a huge board of sharp legos because he got mad at him over some asinine fucking thing

me: not particularly thanks

i don't know if it's better that he at least didn't bother trying to be physically or verbally violent in secret or worse that he'd not only do this shit but do it in front of his little sister because lol

also love remembering being like 11 sitting in the back seat of a car at sonic with him and my cousin in the front calmly, openly talking about how stupid and annoying i was and how much it sucked to have to drag me around with them like i wasn't there at all

while totally ignoring me after i tried to talk to them about some dumb little thing i was enthusiastic about

weirdly the most upsetting part was how fucking reddit-intellectual smug and self-satisfied they were about it

my brother would start arguments about shit with me and my other brother that were way over our heads because we were fucking kids at the time so he could rip into us over it for hours

he was the kind of pompous dickless asshole who thought ''winning'' arguments by using little kids as his verbal punching bags made him a master of intellectual debate

i'm not 'triggered flashback spirals' about it rn or anything, mostly just having a moment of like

[squints]

bud i don't care whether you did it because you were abused first that's fucking pathetic

he was just.... a pathetic fucking bully and not in the way that makes me feel bad for him

contempt, that's the word i'm looking for

i'm sorry that you were abused, you didn't deserve it, i know you've suffered terribly because of it and i wish you all the luck in the world with your healing

but frankly i don't really give a damn in this case that you were a hurt angry traumatized teenager, when you took it out on hurt angry traumatized little kids who couldn't get away from you, and screamed it into their heads their entire growing up that it was their fault you were a shitty bully who thought it was your god-given mission to win fights with 7-year-olds about why x computer model is best, or to educate them loudly and at great length why every word they say is stupid and unintelligible and wastes the time of the people listening to it

like, literally in those explicit words

just

fuck your sob story and fuck everyone who tried to make me feel bad for him when he hurt me

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

I think I saved it

Undercover Lover prt 116 (new)

116

Levi felt like shit. Eren had wanted to talk to him, but after spending the morning jogging with Erwin, he’d had enough free therapy. Erwin felt that they should go away. That he and Eren should lie low until this new mess could be investigated fully. Packing up their lives to live in some shit box wasn’t Levi’s idea of a smart plan. Who knew how long they’d be gone if they went? Or where they’d end up. With Hanji and Erwin they were likely to wind up back in Stohess in some equally shitty little house in the shitty suburbs where they’d have to hide their true identities even when it was time for Eren to give birth.

“Are you sure you’re okay with him going out with Armin?”

Crossing his arms, Levi didn’t want to hear it from Mike. His boyfriend had made him a fresh cup of tea and he’d been forced to ignore it thanks to his pissy alpha. He knew doing so would upset Eren, but his bloody stupid alpha had still had its nose out of joint because just that had happened

“Tch. He’s fine with Armin. Eren’s missed him, so leave them be. Our bigger problem is if Kenny is involved and the lengths he’d go to to keep his job”

Honestly he absolutely dreaded the idea of Kenny meeting Eren. Kenny wasn’t exactly normal, nor would he have an issue with ending Eren’s life should the need come up. Should he and Eren leave, it was possible they both be murdered before anyone else had an inkling something was wrong

“Is Kenny really that bad?”

“He’s bad enough. He’d slit a throat and think nothing of it. That little fucker certainly got himself caught up in one hell of a shit show”

Erwin cleared his throat

“Yes, well, I did hope to discuss things with Eren given Floch wasn’t forthcoming last night on his own accord. Has he spoken to you at length?”

No. He’d wanted to… His omega practically begged him with those big shitty eyes to sit down and talk things out

“No. If Floch isn’t going to cooperate I’d rather not put more pressure on Eren”

“Then what do you think we should do about Floch?”

Raising an eyebrow at his friend, Levi wasn’t sure he should be asked about that to do with that lump of walking shit. He’d found himself unable to do anything other than think rationally about the situation due to Eren. Swallowing hard, his alpha growled at his thought, not wanting to admit he wasn’t capable of handling things

“Honestly… Eren and I should be removed from these decisions. We both want Floch to face some form of formal punishment for his actions, but if you ask me what I’d like to do… well… there’s a whole lot of forest out there”

And a whole lot of ways to make sure Floch could never be identified… No. His idiot alpha was far too keen for Floch’s blood to be spilt for all he’d done

“I’ll keep that in mind as a last resort. For now we need to pick the path of least resistance. Ideally that’d mean having Eren have another go at Floch…”

“You can’t sit them down together”

Well… fuck. He’d gone and said it now. Erwin waiting for Levi to continue, though they all knew the outburst was his true feeling on the matter he still appreciated Erwin giving him a chance to cover himself

“I mean… Eren is strong enough for the interview, but… shit…”

He felt like he was betraying Eren. He knew how strong his brat was, yet couldn’t help but definitely not want Eren in front of Floch

“…”

He didn’t have a continuation. Erwin giving up on letting him dig his way out when he’d just gone and dug that hole deeper instead

“Are you telling me Eren isn’t in the right mental space to be questioning Floch?”

“It’s not that. What I would like is for Floch to take any commands off that may be in place, formally and recorded, but as for questioning Floch, I don’t feel Floch would be forthcoming if it was Eren. He’s half insane with his feelings about Eren, to the point he feels no remorse for hitting Eren in the stomach nor trying to bite him. Should Floch threaten Eren, he may not be able to keep his temper. Ideally we lay low until we can get in touch with the panel, then present both Floch and the taped conversations with him”

“Isn’t that going to anger Kenny?”

No shit. It wasn’t even a question worth discussing. Perhaps if he had been more open in the past with his team about his past then Eld wouldn’t be interrupting to ask something so stupid

“At this stage anything we do is going to cause a shitty fucking chain reaction. The only path Eren and I can take is the path that will leave us with the least regrets”

Erwin gave a slight nod. His friend had tried to understand what he was going through with Eren, but not having a mate of his own or having felt the pull of a compatible partner, Erwin couldn’t come close to imagining the way all the shitty “what if’s” had set in. The biggest thing hanging over them was the “what if” of Eren having another possible drop from the stress they were all under

“I’ve already suggested perhaps they’d be best leaving early. If you were to take Eren to Nedlay and work there with Pixis until we’ve contacted the panel…”

Bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, Levi felt a headache coming on. Erwin was supposed to be the brains of their operation. He should have been putting some form of strategy into place from the moment they’d gotten their hands on Floch. Stating the obvious, the alpha loathed their current situation when doing the right thing could bring Kenny to his doorstep, but if they backed off… If they backed off, then everything would have been for nothing. Everything Eren had worked so hard for had been turned into a joke by Floch. The shit had disrespected his omega, and had proved himself as slimy as turd. Without evidence Floch would find a way to slip through the hands of the panel, especially given they’d kidnapped him

“Even if we drop them in their laps, there’s no guarantee Floch will cooperate or that they will listen. What we need is more data on the Reiss and Reeves families that backs up Floch’s allegations”

Casting a glance towards the cabin window, Erwin felt his pockets for his keys as he did

“I’ve got a copy of the information our team’s pulled up on Floch in the back of my car. Eld, swap out with Gunther. See if you can get a dose of suppressants down Floch’s throat. We don’t need him going feral from his alpha. Levi, you’ll help me run through what we know, I want you to try and think back to when you were with Eren undercover and anything at all that might be related, no matter how small. Mike, I want you to go check on Eren and Armin. I’ll get those files. If we can’t use Eren to take a run at Floch, maybe there something there that’ll rattle him?”

The way Erwin spoke felt as if Levi had labelled Eren as useless. He felt like he’d betrayed his boyfriend, despite promising to always be on his side. This having a boyfriend thing was hard when both of them couldn’t act the way they wanted, harder still when Levi wasn’t sure he was prepared to ask Eren to go into hiding with him if they should need to. Armin and Mikasa were Eren’s real family, and the family he’d need of something went wrong with the pregnancy, as well as being the first two Eren would want to tell if everything went smoothly and they welcomed their little girl into the world without a hiccup. No longer could he make the kind of threats he’d used to, at least not in person while Eren was pregnant

“Use his family. Eren said that piece of shit was a Mumma’s boy… and on top of the shame of having a son like him, I doubt his father would appreciate this going to the press”

“Let’s save the press for now. If Historia is in danger we could tighten the noose around her neck. We’re better off trying to get her on our side, once we’ve analysed everything all over again”

Unless Erwin had a magical shitty fucking teleporter in that shit sedan of his, that would mean holding onto Floch for an indefinite amount of time…

“Tch. How the shit are we supposed to do that given where we fucking are?”

“I’ll do a run out tonight and call through to Petra. She’ll be able to discuss things further with Mikasa”

“Eren won’t be happy about dragging her in, even if she wants to help”

“Whether they like it or not, both she and Jean are already involved”

It was easy enough to imagine Mikasa had the remainder of their team already under her thumb

“That doesn’t mean we need to make shit worse for them. If you’re going out to call anyone, you should alert the panel and get the first available fucking audience with them. The whole point of bringing our families in is so they don’t wind up as collateral damage. Here we are, caught with our shitty thumbs up our arses thanks to fuck-knuckle wank stain. We’re all too personally involved now”

Shaking his head at him, Erwin knew he was right. This filthy cabin was no place for any of them. The longer they spent inside the less dirty the outside world seemed in comparison

“You know, typically people getting sex regularly aren’t as stressed as you are”

Levi could have hit him. Mike and Eld snorting as the alpha glared at his friend. Eren dropping again was nothing to joke about

“Right. Because now’s time to be fucking joking around. Eren’s already had one fucking drop, this could push him into a second, but by all means go ahead and talk about our sex life, just don’t blame me when you’re a dickless wonder and Mike’s feeding you through a tube for the rest of your life”

Erwin chuckled at his grumping giving Levi the feeling he would have reached out and ruffled his hair if the shit stain thought he could get away with it

“At least your sense of humour’s still intact”

“You’re the one who started it. Pop the trunk already, I want to be done with this cabin as soon as possible”

He’d told Erwin that both he and Eren were in agreement. That if something were to happen, then they’d leave without question seeing how intimately involved they were and knowing that as supportive as they were there was no way their friends could truly understand what it’d been like for both of them. Most of their shitty fucking jog had been Erwin prying into his relationship with Eren and how Eren was coping with this. Levi was loathe to admit that Eren really did seem to be coping better with this than he’d thought he would be. He was just as unhappy to admit that quietly part of him was jealous that Floch would always remain a festering wound for the both of them. For Levi it wasn’t enough to play Floch saying he was taking any commands off of Eren. He wanted the arsehole to sit there and to admit that he’d knowingly and vindictively fucked Eren over with what he’d done, and he wanted Eren to have that piece of mind knowing that Floch had absolutely no input into any of Eren’s actions or decisions.

Placing his hand on his shoulder, Mike squeezed softly

“None of us are going to let anything happen to Eren”

“We might not have a fucking choice if Floch changes his story. We know what Eren’s like, but since day one the panel has had it out for both of us”

“We can only follow the evidence”

“Because that’s worked out so fucking well for us…”

Mike and Erwin shared a look, they’d definitely be talking about this later provided they survived long enough for their to be a later… He really was being a miserable wanker

“… Fucking ignore me. I’m stressed like Shitwin here says. Go check on the kids, I’ll get those files. Eren’s handgun is under our mattress if shit hits the goddamn fan”

*

When Mike came back with Eren, Jewel, and Armin, his brat gave him a tight smile before heading towards their bedroom. From the filthy look Armin threw Levi’s way, Levi knew Eren had told him how he’d brushed him off before. He could use all the justifications he liked, such as how Armin and Eren needed time to talk, but the truth was he was running away in his own way by burying himself in work. Heading to the kitchen, Armin took a passive aggressive stance to this perceived tiff by slamming down the box of goods he picked up, then rummaging through it loudly. Yeah. He probably deserved it. Eren had probably offloaded everything he was thinking onto Armin now they’d made up.

Coming out the hallway, Gunther’s nose was wrinkled as he announced

“You should probably check on Eren, I think he’s throwing up”

Sighing as he dumped the pile of paper from his lap onto the saddest excuse of a coffee table ever invented, Eren wasn’t supposed to be throwing up and Levi didn’t like the fact he was

“I’m on it”

Armin slammed down another can before cutting him off

“I’ll go. You’ve got your hands full”

“He’s my boyfriend”

It might not have been the smartest retort for the situation, but if Eren was ill because he’d pushed his brat to being that stressed, then he should be the one to be by his side

“It’s fine, he didn’t look well during our walk”

“Then why didn’t you bring him back?”

“I don’t know. Why didn’t he know you two were fighting?”

“Because we’re not?”

“That’s what he said but that’s not what his expression said”

Walking between them Gunther put his hands up

“I don’t care who’s going to check on him, but can someone do it now?”

Climbing off the sofa, Levi shot Armin a glare, which the blond shit dared to return. The alpha had been off with Eren for most of the morning. He’d had enough time for them to be friends again

“I’ll take care of him”

“Make sure you tell him why you’re mad at him, he’s stressed enough as it is”

“I don’t need you to tell me that”

“Then don’t go not making it clear when you’re fighting with my best friend!”

“We’re not fighting! I’m trying to figure out how to keep him and Renee safe!”

Well. Fuck… Armin’s head jerked back, he clearly wanted to know who the hell Renee was. Fuck it. Gunther could deal with the shit, storming out the room, Levi could only blame Eren for the habit. His brat had worn off on him, and now he was being the brat and Armin the “semi-adult” here. Opening the bathroom door a tad too violently, Eren squeaked as Levi slipped in and then closed the door just as violently. Levi felt almost sheepish as Eren stared up at him. Initial panic turning to confusion over being interrupted with his bump out and hands on the swell

“I didn’t know we’re fighting”

“Ugh. Did Armin start something? He has a big mouth”

With Eren sitting on the floor, he should probably sit on the floor with him if they were going to talk. Making to sit on the disgusting floor in an attempt to even things out between them, Eren suddenly snapping took him by surprise

“Don’t!”

“Wha-…?”

Half crouched, the pose was a killer on his knees after that damn shitty jog

“Don’t force yourself down here. Just stand up and talk to me”

“But you’re on the floor?”

Sighing at him, Eren’s hands moved across his stomach as he rubbed at his swell

“That’s because I threw up. It’s so hard to breathe in here… my chest feels all condensed”

Still mid-crouch, the floor really did look absolutely revolting and Erwin hadn’t packed the shitty basics when it came to cleaning supplies. Levi didn’t want to sit on the floor, but seeing he’d upset Eren, shouldn’t he at least be the good boyfriend and sit? Then again, his brat had told him to stand. Eren all but rolling his eyes at his position

“Just pick one already, you look like you’re dropping a turn in your trousers”

Fuck it. Standing it was. He didn’t want to be in smacking range should he say something dumb

“I want it on record that I was prepared to sit”

“Noted. Look, ignore what Armin said. He’s salty that Eld and Gunther are better at cards than him”

Backing up, Levi leaned against the bathroom counter

“He said you were upset”

“I’m plenty damn upset at you… but now I’ve thrown up and have the headache from hell, I don’t particularly feel like getting into a fight”

“But I thought we weren’t fighting”

Snarking back, Eren had lost his confusion pretty damn fast and swapped it for anger instead

“And I thought you’d know better than to be talking to my dad behind my back”

“Ah…”

“Do you know how it feels to find that out? I don’t need you fighting my battles with him and then fucking keeping it from me. Do you know how it feels on the back of last night? I’m so fucking angry I want to hit you. Why couldn’t you tell me?!”

Taking a deep breath, Levi forced himself to calm down. The conversation hadn’t been that important though he had felt the urge to fess up

“Look. It wasn’t like whatever you’re picturing. He wanted to know if you were okay”

“It couldn’t have been that simple if you’re only telling me now”

Grisha had apologised to him. Telling Eren that would only have made him mad on the back of coming out of hospital

“Tch. I don’t pretend to know how much he fucking hurt you. I’m not going to lecture you about letting him back in when he clearly fucked things up so fucking royally. I know he hurt you, and the shit apologised to me. It was awkward as fuck, and I was too worried about you to keep my calm”

“So?”

“So I told him that he should either fuck off entirely or accept he fucked things up with you. Then he told me about Carla… and that you were a wreck when she died… and how he’d lost it to the point of taking it out on you. He’d already been yelled at by Jean…”

“I’m not hearing any fucking reason why you shouldn’t have told me sooner”

The timing just hadn’t been right… So why couldn’t Eren see that? They’d both been off when they’d gotten out, dynamics off kilter from the experience and pheromones, on top of Eren’s exhaustion as he’d recovered. That and they could have lost Renee… Growling in annoyance, Levi’s tone could have been gentler if Eren wasn’t such an idiot

“Because you fucking dropped! I crashed my car and you fucking dropped, Eren! They put a shitty fucking tube down your throat, said you’d be okay, but I had no fucking idea if you and Renee would be… I keep fucking up being your fucking alpha. I know I could have brought it up sooner, but I… I knew how much him asking would upset you. He told me a bit about you as a kid too… and how much losing Carla messed you up… and how you were so confused over how it’d all happened… and…and he said he thought you seemed to be finally doing better. I pretty much ended up throwing him out”

Letting out a long groan, Eren dropped his head forward as he did

“It makes it hard to be mad at you when you think you’re doing the right thing. I was worried you’d gone and asked dad for my hand in marriage or something like that…”

Eren didn’t need his father’s permission for marriage. He wouldn’t insult his compatible partner by asking for it either. The bond between them already ran deeper than anything a formal ceremony could give them

“Tch. You’d gut me alive if I asked him”

“At least you know that… Still, shit like that, I shouldn’t have to find out from Armin”

“I know, shitty brat. If it counts, I don’t think I made a good impression”

“He can go fuck himself if he thinks I care what kind of impression you made. Did you two talk about anything else?”

“Just you. He did ask my intentions, and I told him that was between me and you. Frankly, I couldn’t tell if he was doing it to ease his conscious or if it was because Jean yelled at him for being at your baby shower without being invited”

“Does Mikasa know you two talked?”

Levi wasn’t sure if he’d told Grisha exactly how far Eren had gone to keep his adoptive sister from knowing how badly they got along in private. He hadn’t been in a good way without Eren and with the guilt of the accident, on top of his boyfriend’s pheromones

“I’d say so… but… yeah… Are you done puking your shitty guts up?”

“For now. That still doesn’t explain why you weren’t prepared to sit and talk to me before. If it’s something related to Floch, I should know”

“Erwin was at me over Kenny. You know he and shitty four eyes like to give out advice… and he wanted to know how you were doing”

Eren chuckled as he raised his head

“Let me guess, you didn’t appreciate you’re early morning counselling session and the last thing you wanted was to go from one with him to one with me”

“I’m sorry, brat…”

His brat knew him to damn well

“No. It’s okay. But you really need stop thinking you need to protect me by not telling me things. I’m worried enough about you without thinking things between us have gone to shit and I haven’t noticed it. Is there anything else I need to know”

“Not really. Grisha thanked me and apologised. Erwin wants you to take another shot with Floch but I don’t see the point now. Mike things we should leave as soon as possible… and Kenny…”

“If Kenny shows up, we’ll deal with it. Now help me up. My head feels like it’s ready to split in two and you don’t want to see how gross the floor looks from here. It’s like Piss City down here, none of you can fucking aim”

“That’s fucking revolting you gross shit”

“And why I didn’t want you getting down on the floor”

Holding his hand out, Levi took to it to help Eren up off the floor. His omega didn’t look well now that he close enough to get a good look at him

“How’s your chest now?”

“Still a bit… I think I liked it better when I didn’t remember what Floch and I used to be to each other. Thinking about him… nope”

He’d have to keep an eye on Eren’s breathing that night. If he sounded to congested then it’d be a hospital trip

“Do you remember everything now?”

“Most of it came back that first week after the drop seemed to shake it all loose… If Erwin wants me to talk to Floch I can try, but if you’d rather I didn’t, I respect that”

He didn’t want Eren to… but Levi honestly couldn’t say that jealousy wasn’t clouding that judgment. In a lot of ways Eren was being the bigger man… and he was being stupid

“I don’t like it. I don’t want him in the position where he could put another command on you, but I do want him to “remove” any commands he may have placed”

“If he’s going to command me to feel better I just allow it… Sorry, that wasn’t even funny. I’m stressed and worried over how you’ve been acting”

Moving out the way so Eren could wash his hands, Eren cared too much about him. He hadn’t meant to make Eren feel like they were fighting or not talking, he’d just needed time to process

“I should have said something about Grisha. Erwin is prepared to make arrangements for us to leave if we need to because of Kenny. I don’t want to take you away from your family”

“You are family. I thought we were united there”

“We are… but Kenny… he won’t stop at simply hurting you. He’d kill you if he wanted to… Erwin knows a bit about Kenny”

“And I know you. All you had to do was tell me. I know you didn’t mean for it to be like this, but I couldn’t help but overthink yesterday. Hell, I couldn’t even fall back to sleep without you there because this ring… it means a lot to me”

Floor hands be damned. Reaching out, Levi wrapped his arms around his brat, burying his face against Eren’s back

“I didn’t say any of that lightly”

“I know… but I also know how you feel about being intimate. And you have a habit of indulging me too much. I need to have a nap. Floch’s shitty scent is making me feel sick… I can’t explain it, but I don’t like how it’s making me feel, especially when it comes to you”

“Tch. You’re an idiot, Eren Yeager. It’s only okay because it’s with you. You taught me that. Cut an old shitty man some slack”

“Not when you call me an idiot. You’re the idiot here, Mister Shitty Alpha”

“I deserve that”

Turning in his hold, Eren wiped his wet hands on Levi’s cheeks. The alpha wrinkling his nose in disgust

“No. You deserved that. You’re lucky I feel too shitty to yell at you right now”

“Should we go?”

“And leave our friends with a Floch? It’s my mess. I was the one dated him, and the one who brought him into our lives. No. We’re not running away from this. I’ll take another go at him, but only after I’ve gotten some sleep. Tell Erwin to make a list of anything he wants me to try get out of Floch. I don’t feel… I don’t feel like I’m going to drop again. And we know the accident wasn’t your fault. We know that…”

“Tch. I’m acting like a shitty arsehole”

“A little. Now wipe that look off your face. We’re only here as long as we need to be. I know it’s hard for you, but I also know if you think of it all as for being for work, it’ll settle you down. Think about everything else you’ve endured for work”

Levi would much rather not dwell on the past. Nor was he happy that it’d turned into Eren comforting him, instead of him taking care of his omega

“When did you get so smart?”

“Some days I really don’t think I am”

“You’re the one who’s been throwing up”

“And you’re the one who can’t forgive himself for an accident. I know you’re worrying”

“Can you blame me?”

With Eren’s habit of getting himself into trouble, Levi felt certain that worrying about his omega was well and truly justified. Leaning down, Eren kissed his hair

“No. I’m sorry I was so mad at you”

“No. I should have told you Grisha came to talk. It felt like after your baby shower he had something to say… Not that it makes less shitty”

The whole meeting with Grisha couldn’t have been more than half an hour, maybe an hour at the tops. The man putting Levi’s alpha on edge due to the trauma he knew he’d caused Eren. According to Grisha Eren had become depressed as a teen, watching everyone around him present. Then they’d lost Carla. By the time Grisha realised how bad he’d let himself become, he’d already scarred Eren. Eren who apparently had had some kind of memory issue in the wake of his mother’s death, but to Levi that was understandable. Eren loved as deeply as he hated. To lose his mother… well… it was only natural for nothing to make sense anymore. Hannes had also hinted that Eren had some pretty real problems after Carla’s death.

Sighing in annoyance at him, Eren then kissed his hair again with that vomitty mouth of his

“He’s my dad. And you’re you. You were probably thinking along the line of not having the right to throw him out. You’re my alpha, not my keeper. You’re also my emergency contact. I trust you to be making those choices, so why can’t you trust me enough to explain things?”

“Because I hate how I feel. How all of this makes me feel”

“Okay, we’re definitely going to talk about that, but I feel too sick right now. I mean, I didn’t think we were fighting but Armin insisted that’s how it looked”

“Tch. Your best friend’s a shit head”

“Like yours are any better. Now wash your hands, and go back to working things out with Erwin”

Reading about Floch wasn’t doing anything for him. He’d nearly crumpled Erwin’s printouts a dozen times simply because Floch’s fucking name were on them

“I should be taking care of you”

“Yes, as my alpha you absolutely should be, and the best thing I can do right now is try sleeping off this headache before it becomes a migraine”

“Should I rub your head?”

Humming at him, his mate nuzzled into his hair. Eren normally called it “recharging”

“I’ll save that for later. I’m glad we’re not actually fighting”

“I’m sorry…”

“If you say you’re sorry one more time I’m going to have an issue. I know you get constipated about the important stuff”

“I thought I was getting better”

Eren snorted at him, the pout clear in Levi’s tone

“You are. But no more sex and no more hiding things or this ring is coming off”

“Understood”

“Good. Now get back to work”

“Yes, dad”