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mamaskillerqueen · 4 years ago

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Maybe a song fic with Ben Hardy to the song "Paper Rings" by Taylor Swift?

A/N: Hi anon!! So, I’m firstly going to apologise for how long this took me to get out. I just haven’t been loving it. I think I started over at least three times. I still don’t think that it’s my best but I do hope that you enjoy it!!

Four Years Ago:

Is there anything worse than house parties?

If there was, it was house parties where you didn't know anyone. Your anxiety had already gotten the best of you, but to top it off with the only person you knew having left to be a host... this was not your ideal night.��

You'd met Joe the day you moved in next door. Having come a long way from your hometown to take up residency in New York, you were alone to unpack. That included all the furniture you had brought along to furnish your new townhouse just outside of the city limits. You were contemplating just sleeping on the hardwood floor because carrying your mattress up by yourself didn't sound appealing, when Joe came to your rescue.

Since struggling to get the furniture up the stairs, and yelling very loudly "Pivot!" at each other, you'd become pretty close friends. He was sitting on your couch during a FRIENDS marathon one day when he mentioned that his Borhap family was getting together at his later that week. Ben and Gwilym were supposed to be coming into town, and they were all going to be having dinner at Joe's. He extended an invitation and you immediately declined.

The thing about your friendship with Joe was that he never let you turn down things that you'd later beat yourself up for. He insisted you be at his house, promising it was just a small get together. Somehow you didn't believe him... and here you were, standing in his foyer ready to bolt because this was not what you signed up for. As a good friend though, you elbowed your way further into the house, hunting for the kitchen. If you were going to stay, you were definitely going to need a drink.

"Y/N!"

If it was possible to slur just a name, Joe was definitely doing it. Despite yourself, you smiled as your friend pulled you into a hug. He was drunkenly telling you how happy he was that you were here, vaguely pointed to his friend beside him but didn't actually introduce you two. Before you could even say anything else Ben, as you recognised him from all the Instagram posts, was pulling Joe away from you.

"Nice to meet you, love."

He called it over his shoulder, even though you weren't actually introduced. How rude.

Deciding that he wouldn't notice if you didn't stay, you quickly slipped out the way you came. The house reeked of smoke and sweat and booze, the combination of smells turning your stomach. It was good you were leaving, you wouldn't be missed because everyone was so out of their mind they wouldn't notice. Not to mention, you literally knew one person. He saw you, that was all that mattered.

The next day you woke up earlier than usual, having gotten to sleep far earlier than you had anticipated. After your morning coffee, yoga, and a shower it was time to adult and go to the grocery. If you could get by just eating food delivered to your door step, you would. That would be the life, however, you couldn't. What even is a delivery expense if the driver doesn't actually see that extra money?

The day was nice, far too warm for being so early but you weren't going to complain. Much. With your purse over your shoulder, you locked the front door and started down the steps. Movement caught your eye on the steps next to you and that was when you got a really good look at Ben. Photos didn’t do him justice.

Despite the direct eye contact, you completely ignored him as he started to wave. You came to the sidewalk as he was calling your name, trying to catch your attention. Without a word you looked up at him, a brow raised in question.

“Hope we didn’t keep you up too late last night.”

There was a smugness to his tone that made you roll your eyes. It was a playfulness you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Slept like a baby.”

You yelled over your shoulder at him, and went on your way. Most of your interactions went like this. A playful banter, and he often left you rolling your eyes. You didn’t see him too often though, only when he was out for a smoke at the same time you were passing by. Joe mentioned that Ben was crashing at his for a while, something to do with work. Anytime you were invited to hang out, you quickly declined.

There was no way you were getting caught up in that party scene again.

At least that was what you thought. Joe came by your place, insisting on squeezing in a few episodes of FRIENDS because it had been far too long. There was no refusing that but, that was your first mistake.

He swore it wasn’t going to be a huge gathering. Ben was wrapping up the project he’d been working on the last few months and Lucy and Rami wanted to say congratulations and goodbye before he hopped a flight back to England. You’d already missed your chance to meet Gwilym, and you weren’t going to lie, meeting Lucy sounded like a blast.

One could always use more girlfriends. Or just a girlfriend, as you hadn’t made any since moving to the city.

“Fiiiineee...”

The dramatics made him laugh, and despite yourself you laughed too. When the day finally came, you couldn’t help but feel kind of nervous. Even as you knocked on the door, it felt more like the first day of school than anything. You’d been playing this game with Ben for weeks now, almost like a cat and mouse. There was no denying you were interested though.

If you were being completely honest, you may have completely stalked him on the internet. Probably more than once.... okay, definitely more than once. Something about the playful banter made you want to know him more. The only problem was, you didn't want to lose the light fun you always had when you interacted. We'll just pretend anxiety didn't play a part.

In very Joe fashion, the party started out just the five of you but quickly developed into quite a bit of people. It was like every friend any of them had ever made ended up at Joe's house. The music was loud, because how else can one dance? They all just wanted to have fun, and sure after a few drinks that was definitely what you were having. You still barely knew anyone but it was a lot more than just one person now.

Even with all the fun, you felt the need for some fresh air. The backdoor was much closer than the front, with far fewer people between you and it. You'd been back there a few times, loving the fact that your neighbour had a pool. Summer days were always great by the pool but as autumn was giving way to winter, the pool was the last thing on your mind. Or so you'd thought.

"Hey."

Ben's deep voice startled you as you closed the door behind you. You were probably a sight as you jumped, clutching your chest as your heart tried to jump out of it. After a moment you caught your breath and took a seat on the lounge chair beside him.

"What are you doing lurking out here?"

You were responded to with a laugh as he held up a cigarette. You nodded your head in answer and then turned to look over the pool. Joe hadn't closed it up, saying he was going to have a heater installed so that it was usable all year round. That was something you'd have to see to believe.

Silence stretched out for a while but it was surprisingly comfortable. Until Ben finished his smoke, that is. He was over the silence, apparently, and ready to annoy you again. He quickly shed his jacket and pulled the beanie off his head.

"What are you doing?"

"We are going swimming, get up."

"Are you insane?"

"Maybe. Let's go love."

He had already taken off his shirt and shoes and was working on his belt by the time you gave up arguing. You just sat there and watched him as he dropped his pants. He looked over his shoulder at you once and then offered a wink before jumping into the pool. Clearly, he'd lost his mind.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Summer, like a sane person."

"You're so boring."

The chuckle made your roll your eyes, a comeback wasn't going to help you. You slid from the seat, quickly removed your sweater and pants before quickly jumping into the pool. It was far more freezing than you had anticipated and when you surfaced again you couldn't help but gasp.

"This was a stupid idea!"

You were shivering but you weren't alone, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it."

"You thought wrong."

Three Years Ago:

You were more than surprised to see how quickly your friendship with Ben grew from that night on. He left only two days after the pool night but you didn't go a day without talking. It was weird for you but somehow through the distance you'd grown closer. So much closer that you found yourself hopping a flight to London and crashing on his couch.

It was that trip to London that ended in a relationship.

Trips back and forth weren't a rare occasion. You often found yourself in London, and if you weren't there, it was a guarantee to find Ben in your bed in New York.

"I know you were planning on coming back to London with me this week but I've had a change of plans."

You were laying in bed, the chill of winter crippling your little town house. It was late, the midnight sky leaving just a soft moon light coming through the blinds. You were wrapped up in Ben's arms, your head resting on his bare chest. It had been nearly a year since the party at Joe's house. Nearly a year of being together.

"And, what kind of change are we talking?"

"I've gotta get a flight home to see my brother. He and his wife are expecting a daughter any day now."

A smile pulled the corners of your lips up, your eyes transfixed on the finger that was drawing mindless patterns on his chest. He always spoke so fondly of his brother, and he'd been so excited to become an uncle. It was all he'd spoke about since he found out.

"I promised to help paint the nursery."

You hadn't realised how long the silence had stretched on until he'd spoken again.

"Sounds like a lot of fun."

He hummed and silence stretched again. It was so long this time you'd nearly fallen asleep.

"Come with me."

You were surprised, the thought of meeting his family was crazy. It was probably way over due but it still made you quite nervous. You still agreed to go, and you both got there with perfect timing. The day you landed his sister-in-law went into labour, leaving the two of you to get the finishing touches done on the nursery.

It was so much fun, getting to paint the walls and move all the furniture back in. You'd gotten to meet his parents when they dropped by before going to the hospital to meet the baby. It was a great time, and you weren't sure what you had been worried about before. Ben insisted on staying behind and waiting to meet his new niece until she made it home.

Something about him seemed off after his parents left. He wasn't as excited, it seemed like something was bothering him. You waited until you had everything in its rightful place before you even attempted broach the subject.

"You wanna talk about it?"

He looked up with a raised eyebrow, as if he didn't know that he was completely obvious about his feelings. For someone who often wanted to hide the way he was feeling, and for being an actor, he was terribly unconvincing.

"It's nothing."

Normally, you weren't one to push. When you uttered the same words you wanted enough respect from someone to be left alone for you to deal until you were ready to talk. Today seemed to be an exception.

"It's not nothing. This should be a happy occasion right?"

It was after the words left your mouth that you felt maybe you were the problem. Maybe he felt as though he wished he hadn't brought you along?

"Do... is it... I mean, is it me? Do you not want me here?"

You stuttered as you got the words out and when you finally managed a coherent sentence you were immediately soothed with a 'NO! Of course, I want you here'. He sighed and then motioned for you to follow him. You made your way down the stairs to the kitchen where coffee was immediate set to make.

"I just look at all of this, and you deserve this one day."

He motioned around the house and as you looked around your brow furrowed. This was just stuff, and with how well his career was taking off, he could more than afford to give you stuff. Not that you wanted any of it. For you, all that mattered was that you had him.

"You're going to have to elaborate, darling."

He chuckled at you before explaining further what was bothering him.

"One day, when it's time for you to have a baby.. if that's what you choose, you should know that your husband is going to be there with you."

"And you can't provide that?"

The confusion was clear in your voice as well as on your face. Ben always told you that you were such an open book, and easy to read. You never took that as a compliment until times like these when you wanted to convey your genuine feelings.

"Not if I'm on a set thousands of miles away from you."

He seemed so genuinely upset but all you could do was scuff at this. When he heard your reaction his head shot up to look at you. Now it was his turn to be confused.

"I don't need any of this. I need you. It doesn't matter if your thousands of miles away or not. I would marry you with paper rings. All of the ex's, the fights, the flaws, we wouldn't be here. I adore you, if that hasn't been abundantly clear the last year or so. As for the rest of it... we can figure it out as we go. You and me. We got this."

Your shoulder bumped against his, and he couldn't help but break out into a smile. You could tell almost immediately that he felt much better. In return a smile lit up your own face, your head falling to his shoulder as you hugged his arm.

"I think you're pretty great too, just so you know."

Present Day:

The mosh pit that was happening in your stomach was becoming rather annoying. You just wished your baby knew what night and day time were. The clock on the bed side table flashed a ridiculously early time at you, informing you that sleep wasn't happening any longer.

Nights like this was when you found yourself reminiscing. It hadn't been very long after sitting in Ben's brother's kitchen that you ended up engaged. Even shorter time frame from that you were married. The shotgun wedding was only six months ago, and here you were five months pregnant. Sometimes it all felt so fast but then you looked at the snoring butt head beside you and you didn't mind one bit.

You found yourself marveling at the fact that when you first met, you kind of hated him, and then you stalked him on the internet, and now you watch him breathe. Kind of crazy how life works out. Who knew moving into that small little townhouse in New York was gonna change your life so drastically, so quickly. Not that you were complaining.

"You're staring darling, and quite frankly it's a bit creepy."

His thick and sleepy voice startled you, making you jump before chuckling. Normally, he would have been laughing with you but he was clearly too tired for that.

"Can't sleep?"

"I'll get there eventually, go back to bed. I love you."

His hand reached over, finding your growing stomach and rubbing soothing circles. They were slow and lazy, but they seemed to do that trick as the summer salts that were happening came to a slow and then a halt all together.

"I love you too. Both of you."

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fanfiction #ben hardy fluff #banana writes #banana answers

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 4 years ago

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Hakuoki SSL ~sweet school life~ Release Countdown

not something i scheduled... but since the ssl spreadsheet is almost done (well last i checked?), i figured i’d go finish this since I finally found a translation for Kaoru’s snippet for this.... all images in this post were taken from otomate’s ssl blog.

aside from this, i don’t plan on doing anything else ssl related til next year lol.

As always, translation was done from CH -> ENG and final edits will be done later... will definitely be using photoshop later since the the resolution of the original images is on the small-ish side.... ugh. while i hate photoshop (and will always complain about using it hahaha... T_T), i dislike compromising on the quality of things i use in my videos....

Hakuoki SSL ~sweet school life~ Countdown

Translation by KumoriYami

Saito:I am the disciplinary committee's Saito Hajime. The day for the opening ceremony is almost here. Are you nervous, perhaps you haven't prepared enough? Although starting high school may be somewhat nerve-racking, but do not worry [reword or remove 'but']. As your seniors, we will do everything to support you, so you will be able to enjoy your time here/life as a high school student. All you need to do is to bring your expectations and hopes onto campus. Hakuo Gakuen sincerely welcomes your arrival/Welcome to Hakuo Gakuen.

Nagumo: Are you ready for school? I’m contacting my thoughtless/inconsiderate younger sister [will probably change to include “thought it best to contact...” for language flow... unless i can think of a different way to reword that]. Now, since we'll be going to the same school...... You should know, that it was originally an all boys' school. As far as I've been able to tell, the students at this school are all scumbags [lol. well i'll probably change that to 'fools' or just 'scum'?] so I don't know you'll be able to deal with them. Make sure you're always on guard when you do something so you don't cause trouble for me.

Nagakura: Yo~ freshman! I'm Hakuo Gakuen's math teacher, Nagakura Shinpachi! I look forward to when students enroll l every year, but I'm doing that twice as much this year compared to normal! You're asking me why? Right! It's you! Because there's a girl enrolling for the first time/entering the school! Aiyah, a vibrant flower will finally be blossoming in this dreary school full of old men! It's really fired me up! Truly, I'm looking forward to it!

Yamazaki: I'm a second year student at Hakuo Gakuen, Yamazaki Susumu. I will be acting as a guide during the opening ceremony, an will be in charge of addressing any questions and concerns of the new students. If you have any problems at school, do not hesitate to come find me. I was very worried when I first entered the school....... but thanks to help from the/my teachers and (my) classmates, as well as the older students, I've ben able to come this far. If there's anything, please look to your senpais for help. I am also looking forward to the arrival of the underclassmen.

Serizawa: I am the chairman of Hakuo Gakuen, Serizawa Kamo. I didn't expect that a girl would actually enroll at a formerly all-boys' school....... hm, she really has unusual preferences. But whether you are or are not a female student doesn't matter. If you are an excellent student, I will be paying close attention to you. Of course if you're a hindrance, I will treat you as a nuisance. Of course if you're a hindrance, I will treat you as a nuisance. Although I'm not expecting anything... I look forward to your efforts/hard work.

Toudou: I'm Heisuke! Have you been well/How are you doing? There are still 1, 2……8 days until you arrive/come to Hakuo Gakuen! Heheh~ I really can't for that day to come/can't wait for that day! .......Eh? You're asking why I'm so happy, since we already see each other every day as neighbours? That's obvious! While it's true that we see each other every day, it's not the same as going to school together! That's why...... later we'll be to go to school together every day!

Sanan: I am Hakuo Gakuen's school doctor, Sanan Keisuke. There's still a week before you start school/school starts, when you begin a new experience. It'd be unfortunate if you got sick before the school's opening ceremony, so please make sure you take care of yourself. However, if you aren't feeling well on that day, please be sure to come to the school clinic/infirmary. As my first guest/visitor, I will treat you well/carefully [kindly?]. Hehe.

Kondou: I'm Hakuo Gakuen's principal, Kondou Isami! There's less than a week left before the start of the opening ceremony for the school year/week before the opening ceremony for the start of the school year. The school's sakura are also blooming to celebrate your enrollment. On the day of the opening ceremony, they will surely be in full bloom to greet you. Although our school doesn't have a long history, it offers/covers a wide range of subjects. Please do your best while at school/I hope you’ll do your best at this school. The faculty and I are eagerly waiting for your arrival!

Harada:There's not much time left before the start of school. Are you feeling nervous? ......To tell you truth, I'm also quite nervous. LIke the student's the teachers are also nervous about the new students entering/coming in. I don't know what class I'll be responsible/in charge of until the end of the day since the school won't be issuing/giving a notice until then [reword later]. But I'm hoping that I'll be your homeroom teacher.

Kazama: My wife, the moment has finally come. ……Don't ask me such an obvious question right now. You should very well know the answer. Yes, Hakuo Gakuen's opening ceremony is about to start. ——The day where you and I finally/actually go to school together has arrived. My wife, you shall taste the happiness of experiencing this time with me [i think???]

Ibuki:the opening ceremony is in a few days ……It seems that you're a first-year student/freshman, right? Then, there's something I have to/must tell you. The chairman of this school is a very dangerous person. If you want to survive, don't stand in his way. Ah~ah, how can I go to a school that has Serizawa-san as its chairman......

Okita: The opening ceremony will be starting soon. Are you mentally prepared? Are you wearing your school uniform? Are you ready to start calling me "Okita-senpai"? As your senpai, I'll teach you all sorts of fun things after you start school. For example, how to annoy Hijikata-sensei, how to skip the classical literature class, and how to do things behind the vice-principal's back [the last one?????]. There are still two days left. I bet you're feeling impatient, but be a good kid and wait.

Hijikata: I'm Hakuo Gakuen vice-principal, Hijikata Toshizou. Allow me to address all the new students who will be entering Hakuo Gakuen next week. Although these words are a bit formal, please listen carefully. First of all, thank you for choosing Hakuo Gakuen. As we all know, the teachers here all quite young and our school isn't very old/doesn't have a lot of history. But that's why we need you all to work together to create the history of Hakuo Gakuen [reword later]. Our graduates will surely be able to say that they were proud to have studied at Hakuo Gakuen. To the new students about to make history/establish themselves for/at Hakuo Gakuen, I am very much looking forward to meeting you all at the opening ceremony.

---

well, the ssl countdown is the last countdown ive been able to find complete tl and audio for. all links that i found that might have been for reimeiroku or the shinkai games were dead and what tl i managed to find for what might have been for those countdowns were all incomplete. ah well. less work for me lol.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki ssl #Hakuoki Other Translation

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castawavy · 4 years ago

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Hey Rae :) How are you today? I have a lot of questions about your witches story, and I'm sure some of us has the same questions in mind and you already told me you were ready to answer so ... 1/ What were the main plots you prepared? 2/ Were there any death? 3/ What do your characters look like now that they're adults? 4/ Do you have any plans for them or do you just enjoy the game with them? Hope it's not too much ^^ It was one of my favourite sims story ever :) Thanks a lot for creating it !

hello ben! I’m good thank you! just enjoying a very quiet sunday rn - I hope that u are well too? I am so happy that you remember my story I will try to answer ur questions hehe! I’ll put it under a cut because I tend to ramble 🤭

EDIT: WARNING THIS ENDED UP SUPER LONG x,x but if u liked my story and love spoilers it’s a good read hehe :-)

1. what were the main plots you prepared?

ah ok so I had quite a few arcs planned, and then also the overall story I wanted to tell but I never really got into it (my bad!) but I actually had a long script written of ideas I wanted on a document that I used to write my posts x,x ! So it was actually a whole story planned out just like a script! :> this script went all the way up to like 120 posts but it looked like this:

example

but yes as for actual storylines I planned out:

Violet

the main plot was that arya intended to keep power over the coven by making sure that her daughter, Violet would become it’s next leader (this goes into Violet’s arc a lot).

but basically Violet finds out that she isn’t ‘chosen’ to become the next leader, something she prepared for her whole life 😥, and so her mother kind of rejects her.

Violet kind of spirals and her mother wants nothing to do with her, but Violet finds Cordelia is being bullied by some other witch girls at school and steps in to help Cordelia fight them.

Cordelia becomes Violet’s first like real friend, because before people only wanted to be friends with Violet due to her being ‘destined’ to be an amazing witch (she still is amazing of course just not the ‘chosen one’).

so these two become friends !

and this was all I had planned so far for Violet!

Cordelia

Cordelia after moving to this new school finds herself being bullied by some of the girls at school, the reason she didn’t join a witch school previosuly was because a few years before the story her parents died very suddenly in a magical related accident, leaving just Cordelia and her brother, Olliver. Cordelia swore she didn’t want anything to do with magic and so she refused to join in with the coven.

She is a very good witch though so at the beginning of summer (a little bit before Casper moves to Glimmerbook Cordelia is offered a scholarship at the school) after talking with Ollie she decides that it is what her parents would have wanted and agrees to attend a witches academy.

Casper arrives and Cordelia and him become friends (then the story posts I did make happen)

Cordelia and Casper are supposed to attend an event at the school, where the coven will choose it’s next leader, so Cas and Cordelia go shopping for some clothes, at the mall these girls stop by to laugh at Cordelia because she is shopping for clothes she can’t afford (these are some mean witches >.>) Casper steps in, and he feels guilty that he didn’t know Cordelia was being bullied, but now he knows so it’s a lot of weight off of Cordelia’s shoulders :-)

The two go to the event party and Violet finds out she hasn’t been chosen, this doesn’t have much to do with Cordelia yet because this is before they are friends.

Once they do become friends though they hang out lots, and by now I think Casper and Val were together so they see eachother as lot as a group of four (these 4 are the main characters)

Cordelia sleeps over at Violet’s house one day though and she kind of realises she might have a crush on Violet 👉👈 but this is as far as I got planning her arc 😅!!!

Valentine

stuff was about to happen very soon but I stopped posting but after Cas finds out he is a spellcaster, Val, Cordelia and Casper celebrate by going to the arcade together.

Val isn’t used to hanging with friends so he feels kind of awkward so he and Cas step outside for fresh air, and here Val and Cas have a kind of nice conversation where Val explains he was kicked out of the academy etc. he admits he feels like kind of a failure to Cas and Cas and he like almost kiss lmaoo

afterwards Val kind of pretends it never happened and Cas doesn’t bring it up either and Val continues to see Ambrose (idk if u remember the vampire dude he was with?)

but yeah fast forward a bit and Halloween is starting soon *very important for witches kajsdgajsdg* and Val is like ‘I hate Halloween’ to Cas, and Casper finds out it’s because it’s Val’s birthday that day, and that Violet is throwing a party it’s easier to show:

then:

Val goes home after school annd like his mom is waiting x,x

basically she is annoyed because she realised he stayed out late again, so she threatens Val (Violet is there too and she tried to lie for Val so Arya scolds them both) and she uses like fire magic to burn Val >: ( and then she warns him not to do anything stupid she’s a villain basically 🤷‍♀️

At the party Val decides then to ignore both Ambrose and Cas (ambrose was texting him and Cas is at the party) because he doesn’t want them to get hurt because of him.

He breaks things off with Ambrose mainly because Ambrose is a vampire, and wants Val to become one too, which is not what Val wants, + he does care for Ambrose and realises that they don’t make eachother happy!

Then he bumps into Cas and Cas is like ‘u look upset did something happen’ to which Val argues with Casper and asks him to leave him alone + some other super mean things (oops)

Casper and Cordelia leave the party and Violet says to Val that he did something super dumb because she can tell that Casper liked Val (her and Casper have a class together so Violet knows Casper by now)

the event at the school happens and Val is nervous because he knows Cas will be there and he is worried Casper hates him now lmao, but he stays with Violet for now because she is nervous that she might be ‘chosen’ today, so the twins hang out for a bit.

Eventually Violet is like kinda of ‘stop being a baby and go talk to Cas’ xd

So Val is like yo can I speak with u and Cas is like oh um sure, Cordelia is skeptical 🤣 she’s a good friend!

Val and Cas chat, realise they are both dorks in love and kiss :-) ☕ I have more but I’ll talk about Casper now LMAO cuz these two stories now join tbh

Casper

SO AFTER arcade night Casper starts attending the witch academy after his normal school for a lesson with Morgyn Ember :> !!! In this class is just Violet and Casper cuz it’s like an extra after school thing.

Violet is smart so she soon realises this is the same Casper her brother mentioned so she tries to find out what Cas thinks of Val hehe but yeah Cas doesn’t give much away.

One day (the day after Violet fights with her mother at the event) Cas goes to class but it’s just he and Morgyn, Cordelia was staying in the library after school (she’s worried about Violet so studying to distract herself) they decide to do some duel practice

After Morgyn asks Cas about his lineage and Casper tells them that his mother is Irish, Morgyn reveals to Casper that the Irish were once some of the most powerful witches.

Next day at normal school Casper and Val get their school project grade back (this was just a funny scene tbh 😂):

Errr I lots of stuff happens with the girls but when i go back to Cas/Val by now Casper has learnt about Val’s burn mark but Val doesn’t explain where he got it

Casper is in class minding his own business when Arya approaches him and starts asking questions about his mother, Morgyn arrives and quickly makes sure to get rid of Arya (subtly) then they tells Casper to watch out for Arya because she is evil :-) lmao

Cas goes home quickly and it’s just his mother at home so he and her watch a movie, and she hints that she knows Cas likes Val but Casper is like pffft I am not dating anyone and runs off

Next day Casper confronts Val about his mother and Val tells him the truth, and he explains that he is worries Arya might come after Cas’ mother/sister Aubrey who is a toddler!! But that was also all I had planned

OVERALL:

I think that they would realise Aubrey is the chosen witch, and so the four main characters alongside Morgyn try to defeat Arya and stop her :-O !!!

2. were there any character deaths

YES AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD BECAUSE I LOVE THIS SIM but basically Morgyn tries to protect the main four kids from Arya and they investigates what Arya might be plotting, however Arya is one step ahead of Morgyn, and Morgyn can’t get Simeon on their side. Eventually L.Faba comes after Morgyn and Morgyn knows that Arya has realised that Morgyn plans to defeat her. L.Faba then kills Morgyn but Morgyn leaves a clue for the other four to find that will help them beat Arya. I orginally planned to make one of the four die but I ended up liking them so much and I couldn’t bring myself to do it, and even tho I love Morgyn too I felt like their death would be super impactful ;-; cuz they are loved by me ahaha idk they were a good soul.

3. what do your characters look like now that they’re adults?

I’m still tweaking them as I play but currently they look like this:

4. Do you have any plans for them now?

I basically intend to just play them as a generations/legacy kind of thing so yeah I’ll probably still just post gameplay following the Ward Family (cas’ family) so his sister too etc.! Currently Violet and Cordelia live in Lightwood Lodge in Glimmerbrook but Valentine and Casper moved to Evergreen Harboour, after they all attended university together!

#raesponses #madeofcc #THIS IS VERY LONG I APOLOGISE #but I've been #meaning to summerise things properly :-)

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p4nkow · 5 years ago

Text

Funny how love is

Y’all welcome to my new Ben one-shot! I’ve already talked about it in this post and it’s finally done! The title if obviously inspired by Queen’s song (are you even surprised?) which I recommend you to listen if you still haven’t

Basically it’s just lots of fluff with a bit of angst and there’s a lot of dad!Ben because I’m a sucker for it. Please let me know what you think, I’d love that!

info: is it inspired by my sister’s story? kind of, yeah. basically everything that happens in this one-shot is inspired by her. is she pregnant? hell yeah, the baby is due in November. is she getting married? YEAH, TOMORROW! (yay) does she have a dog as amazing as Frankie? yes that’s why I inserted her, too. Rosie’s my sister’s nickname, that’s why I chose this particular name.

disclaimer: lot of swearing (I can’t help it I’m sorry) and miscarriage but I tried to be as soft as possible

If you have any other questions just ask me and enjoy!

You just couldn’t stay still — you kept tapping your fingers on your thighs as you waited to hear the front door opening. Trying to take deep breaths didn’t help at all, it only made you more and more nervous. You desperately tried to find something to focus on while you waited for Ben to come back and your gaze fell at your feet, were Frankie was sitting.

She was already staring at you and by the clever look in her eyes you knew that she felt like something was wrong. And indeed there was — your period was late and the morning sickness was killing you. Working the math, this could only mean one thing.

You’ll never forget the excitement in Ben’s eyes when you told him you might be pregnant. It was something that the both of you wanted so bad and it was finally happening; the fact that you weren’t married yet didn’t stop you from trying, to be honest. But you were planning to tie the knot hopefully in a few months.

He had cupped your cheeks and kissed you so vigorously that you were taken aback by his reaction. He just couldn’t stop smiling and nor could you, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up until it was 100% sure. And that’s the reason why Ben rushed to the nearest pharmacy to get a pregnancy test as you waited for him.

You lowered your gaze to your belly, inhaling deeply as the thought of being a mother hit you like a running train. If you were pregnant, if you really were, it meant that in that moment you had a little peanut growing inside you. A corner of your lips raised in a tight smile but you were brought back to reality by Frankie, who quickly stood up and ran to the front door by hearing the release of the lock. Ben was back.

“C’mon Franks, I’ve been away just for ten minutes.” All the love he felt for the dog was evident by the way he talked to her. Sometimes he even used the typical childish tone one usually adopts while talking to babies and you loved when he did that.

You turned your head to him, giving him a nervous smile as soon as he entered in your field of view. He took off his shades and casually placed them on top of a cabinet. “You okay?”

You quickly nodded your head ‘yes’ at his question, not wanting for him to worry even more. When you lowered your gaze to the bag he was holding, you noticed that it was full. “How many tests did you buy?”, You asked with a small laugh.

He followed your gaze and smiled, sticking his tongue out as he usually did. “I got carried away. Y’know, just to be sure.” You could tell that he was nervous just as much as you — his body was all tensed up and you couldn’t help but smile back at him when you met his gaze. You stood up and reached him.

“Let’s start with just one, huh?” You placed your hands on his neck as you leaned closer to him. Without backing away he put away the bag and placed a hand on your back, pulling your body close to his. “Don’t make fun of me, love.”

“Oh no, I’m not”, You replied by placing a small kiss on his soft lips. He immediately kissed you back and you smiled but shortly after you backed away from his lips and said “‘kay, let’s do this.”

Five minutes later the two of you were waiting for the result in your bedroom; you were leaning against the wall, your arms crossed as well as your ankles, your gaze fixed on Ben, who was sitting on the feet of the bed. His elbows were resting on his thighs and he was twisting a cigarette between his fingers — he never smoked inside, much less now that you might be pregnant.

When he met your gaze his lips lifted in a nervous smile. “Just one more minute.”

“God, time seems to stand still”, You complained and Ben sighed.

“C’mere.” He gave you a signal with his hand to get closer to him and you did, sitting on his lap when he tapped on his thighs. His arm immediately surrounded your waist and you placed yours around his shoulders.

You gently slipped your index finger on his jawline and met his green eyes. “Y’know there’s a chance that it might be negative, right?” Your words were nothing but a whisper, underlining the intimacy of the moment.

Ben turned his head towards your hand and placed a kiss on the palm of your hand. “‘f course, love. Let’s not plan anything until we know the result, ‘right?”

“Yeah”, You replied, but when there seemed to be a moment of silence you added “But you’d make a great dad.”

His smile grew wider at your words and he placed a hand between your hair before leaning towards you and placing a kiss on your lips. You kissed him back, placing a hand on his shoulder as the kiss deepened. “I love you so bloody much”, He murmured with heavy breath and your heart sank at his words.

When you placed your forehead against his you were more than sure that the fatal minute had passed, so you whispered “Shall we take a look?”

He pressed the home button on his phone to take a look at the time and then he nodded. “Yeah.”

You stood up and sighed deeply, hesitating before going to the bathroom were the stick was. “D’ya want me to go?”

You gave a serious thought at Ben’s proposal but then you shook your head ‘no’. “No, I gotta do this.”

He nodded in understanding and you took a deep breath, finally finding the will to go take a look at it. You grabbed the stick without looking at the result, going back to the bedroom where Ben was. You nervously smiled at him and he nodded as to support you while Frankie was looking at the two of you with a confused look.

You slowly raised the hand that was holding the stick and when you looked at the result you were like frozen. “Love?” Ben gave you a worried look and took a step towards you, fearing your reaction. Fearing that you might fall apart between his arms.

But slowly your lips parted into a toothy smile, which became even wider when you met Ben’s green eyes. He smiled back at you by noticing your enthusiastic smile, that could only mean good news. “Is it...” His voice broke in the middle of the sentence and he had to clear his throat before speaking again. “Is it positive?”

In response you literally threw yourself in his arms, your legs surrounding his hips and your arms around his neck as you squeaked in excitement. “Yes!”

He burst out into laughter and hugged you back, holding you tight. If you had to choose the happiest moment of your life, it’d be this exact moment. You leaned back in order to look at him in the eyes, cupping his cheeks before placing small kisses on his lips.

“We’re gonna be parents!” You said between the kisses and both your smiles were ridiculously sweet. You placed a feet on the floor and then the other, standing right in front of him.

Ben moved a hand off your back to rub his eyes and you were surprise to notice that he got emotional. “Love”, You whispered to catch his attention and he looked at you with glossy eyes. “You’re going to be a perfect father. I love you. I love you so much.”

“I still can’t believe it”, He whispered back and you nodded in agreement. You couldn’t stop smiling.

“I know.”

“I love you.” You chuckled at his words and he kissed you once again before murmuring “Wait, let’s do another one. Just to be sure. ‘kay?”

“Sure.” You agreed at his proposal so that the two of you could be sure of the result.

And sure as hell the second one was positive, too. The general enthusiasm involved Frankie, who was soon going to have a baby sister or brother, your family and Ben’s. You spent the following month suggesting names and looking at baby bodysuits and all the accessories you’d soon need. Your mother constantly called to make sure you were okay and so did Ben’s, the two of them more than excited to finally be grandmas. You’d also been to the hospital to make sure that it was 100% sure and that the baby was fine.

Everything seemed to go perfectly, until one particular night.

Ben had fallen asleep with his hand on your belly, as he’d done for the last days, and you felt bad at the thought of getting up — you didn’t want to move nor to wake him up. But you really had to pee.

You sneaked out of bed as silently as possible but as soon as you stood up you could feel that something was wrong. Your lower abdomen hurt in a way that it’d never done before and so you rushed to the bathroom. Your pulled down your panties with shaky hands and you gasped when you noticed the blood. God, there was so much blood. “Ben”, You tried to say out loud but your voice was shaky. “Ben!”

You heard a thud coming from the bedroom and then footsteps coming towards you. “What? What’s wrong?”, He asked in a sleepy voice, blinking a couple of times to get used to the sudden light.

He’d literally rushed to the bathroom so his hair was still messy because of the sleep and he had nothing but his boxers on. When he finally met your horrified gaze he understood what was going on and by the way he dropped his shoulders you knew that it had crushed him just as much as you.

The visit to the hospital did nothing but confirm your thoughts — you’d lost the baby. You just had a miscarriage. The look in the doctor’s eyes was full of pity when she told the two of you that you had to consider yourself lucky because you could try again as soon as it was safe for you to do so, but at some point you just stopped listening.

As you still laid on the hospital bed you focused on Ben’s hand, which was still holding yours so tight that you thought he never wanted to let you go. You noticed that the veins in his arm were more evident than usual before raising your gaze to his body, all tensed up but also worn out because of the long night you had. And when you looked at his beautiful face, his jaw was clenched as he nodded every now and then at the doctor.

The truth was, you were already fantasying about that baby. You hoped that the little peanut that was growing inside you would have taken his father’s blonde hair and his attitude, too. And you couldn’t stop thinking at how amazing Ben’d have been as a father and how he’d have spoiled the baby in every way possible.

When he lowered his gaze to meet yours he forced himself to smile at you, trying to reassure you in any way. But you couldn’t be reassured. No matter how hard you tried not to think positive, you just couldn’t. You’d been deprived of the happiness of being a mother, of the great joy of having a baby. And you were fucking mad. Mad and hurt as hell. How could something so wonderful bring such great pain?

He leaned towards you and placed a kiss on your forehead before placing its own on yours, taking deep breaths. “I love you so fuckin’ much and I’m so sorry.” You bit your lip not to cry again at his whispers and you limited yourself to just nod as a response.

The ride back home was unsurprisingly silent. The radio was off and Ben wasn’t humming some random song as he always did while driving. You, on the other hand, felt unbelievably empty. You had like a pit in your stomach and you closed your eyes as soon as you felt them becoming teary again.

Ben noticed it but he didn’t say anything. He just placed a hand on your thigh and squeezed it a bit, rubbing it with his thumb while driving. After all, you were the luckiest woman ever to have him by your side. There was no way you could get over all of this without him supporting you.

That night he didn’t leave your side not even for a second. “You are a force of nature, the most amazing woman I know and I love you so bloody much.” His whispers distracted you by what happened but you couldn’t stop the tears that kept running down your face as you held tight your pillow.

You turned towards him and you immediately met his green eyes, full of worry and sadness. “Ben”, You cried and he narrowed his brows. He gently caressed your cheek as you tried to stop your sobs and he held you even tighter, his arm around your waist as he pulled you closer. You placed your head on his shoulder and you bit your lower lip as he gently stroked your hair.

“I’m not going anywhere. D’ya hear me, love? Anywhere. It’s the two of us, now”, He kept whispering.

“I loved that baby. Our baby”, You whispered back between the sobs.

Ben’s chest rose and lowered as he sighed deeply. “I know.”

You placed your chin on his chest so that you could look at him and he raised a hand to wipe off the tears from your cheeks. “I know how badly you wanted to be a father, I’m sorry.”

His brows were more narrowed than ever by hearing your words. The look in his eyes was full of love as he replied “Baby, it’s not your fault. Don’t ever think that. We both wanted that baby so bad, but what happened it’s nobody’s fault. Not even yours. Do you hear me?”

“Yes”, You softly replied and it wasn’t a lie. But despite that, you felt like shit.

The worst part of all this story was telling your mother what happened without bursting into tears at the phone. And then your mother told your sister, who immediately texted you to show you her support.

And things seemed to get easier with time. You and Ben went back to your usual routine and you returned to your old lifestyle. The only thing that changed was the fact that you went for a physical more and more often so that you could have the situation under control.

What happened didn’t stop you and Ben from keep trying, though — as soon as the doctor said that it was safe for you to try again, you did it. Well, not that you minded at all. But this time you didn’t have any expectations. You’d learned not to be under any illusion and to have much more patience. If it was meant to happen, it was going to happen. That was your mantra.

“Are the boys coming over?” You slowly opened your eyes and you covered them with your hand, trying to avoid the sunlight as you gave Ben a questioning look.

Frankie had fallen asleep on top of you and you were casually petting her while taking some sun. You enjoyed spending whole evenings like that, laying in a lounger in your backyard next to Ben.

He turned towards you, with his shades on and his hair as messy as always. His arm was surrounding your shoulder and he was drawing imaginary circles on your arm with his thumb. “Yeah, they probably are. I’ll text Andy later.”

“‘kay”, You murmured and you bit your lower lip, trying to find the right moment to tell him the news. A few moments of silence passed until you murmured again “Ben?”

“Huh?” His answer was distracted but he was still caressing your arm, so you reluctantly woke Frankie up. She gave you a death stare and after stretching she scampered towards the house.

You sat on the lounger and then you managed to sit on his lap under his amused gaze. “What are you trying to do?” You hated the fact that you couldn’t look at his beautiful green eyes because of the shades he was wearing so you took them off.

Ben narrowed his brows but he was looking at you with a grin on his face and a corner of his lips raised in amusement. “What is it?”

You took a deep breath and placed a hand on his neck, caressing it without looking away from his eyes. “You know I love you, right?”

He was now even more confused than before but he nodded at your question, answering hesitantly “Yeah.”

His hand was casually caressing your bare thigh, given that the dress you were wearing had lifted up when you sat on his lap. “And you know that I’d never hide something from you, right?”

“Are you breaking up with me?”, He asked in a worried tone and you parted your lips in surprise.

“What?! No! Oh my God, no. Absolutely.” You couldn’t help but chuckle at his words as his features relaxed in relief. “I was just trying to give you a nice intro.”

“An intro to what?”

Your smile grew wider and you took a deep breath — it was definitely the right moment to spill the beans. “Y’know I’ve taken a lot of physical, right?”

“Huh-huh”, He replied, trying to understand where it was going.

“And that we’ve had a lot of sex, lately.”

He chuckled at your words and nodded. “Love, as much as I love talking about sex I don’t really know where this is going.”

“Ben”, You said with a deep sigh. “I’m pregnant.”

If you weren’t about to burst into tears you’d have laughed at the shocked expression on his face. His brows were raised in surprise and his lips were a bit parted as he let out a small chuckle of excitement. “You’re—”

He gasped and you wiped off the tears of happiness that had started running down your cheeks. “Yeah. I wanted to be sure, like 100% sure, before telling you. I didn’t want us to be under any illusion and... well, y’know what I mean.”

“So it’s sure? Like 100% sure?” He asked, placing both his hands on your face. He was looking at you with an enthusiastic smile and when you nodded frantically his lips crushed harshly in yours. You immediately kissed him back, giggling between the kisses as Ben placed a hand on your back, pulling you even closer to him.

That moment was just as emotional as the very first time and you couldn’t even describe your feelings — it was simply impossible to put them down in words. But the light you saw in Ben’s green eyes as soon as you backed away brought back to your mind the reason why you loved him so much. So much to even start a family with him.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” His tone wasn’t accusatory nor hurt — he was just being curious.

You shrugged and decided to be completely honest with him. “Y’know, after all we’ve been through I thought it was wiser to wait. I needed to make sure there were no complications or anything.”

“I get it.” And he nodded frantically as to confirm his words. The two of you just couldn’t stop smiling. From that moment everything’d have changed and it was the beginning of another amazing journey together.

Since then Ben insisted to come with you to the following check-ups, especially to the one where you were going to find out the gender of the baby. You were laying in the examination bed with your shirt lifted to show the growing pregnant belly. Ben was standing right next to you, sitting on the chair next to the bed. He was firmly holding your hand, more than nervous to finally find out the gender.

“So, are you guys nervous?” The doctor, Mrs Shelby, gave you a look from above her shoulder while picking the gel. You limited yourself to nod at her question and Ben murmured a soft “Yeah”, sticking his tongue out as he usually did. He placed his other hand on yours jointed and met your gaze. You gave him a nervous smile and he held your hand even tighter.

“Do you already have a few names in mind?” You were grateful to Mrs Shelby for trying to carry on a conversation — it was a good way to take the edge off.

“A few, yeah”, You replied and shortly after you inhaled deeply because of the coldness of the gel.

Ben followed closely her movements, looking forward to the moment we’d have seen our baby. You turned your head towards him, giving him a quick look before looking at the screen when Mrs Shelby placed the ultrasound on your belly. She scrolled it through the part covered of gel and shortly after you finally heard your baby’s heartbeat.

You let out an excited laugh, immediately looking for Ben’s gaze. He gave you a toothy smile, placing a kiss on the back of your hand before looking back at the screen.

“Your little baby here’s more than fine. She’s very healthy.”

“She?” Ben immediately asked after hearing Mrs Shelby's words. Your lips parted in surprise and you impatiently waited for her to answer. She have you an apologetic look from above her shoulder and said "Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't wanna know the genre?"

“It's a baby girl?” You asked in a shaky voice and the doctor nodded.

“Oh, yeah. It's clearly a girl, congratulations!”

“Love, it's a girl!”, Ben immediately said and you chuckled because of the excitement in his tone. He immediately leaned towards you and and placed a quick kiss on your lips. That's when you suddenly and finally realised that a baby girl was coming to your lives to change them for good.

That’s how you started again to look for cribs, bathtubs for babies, strollers and all kinds of cute, coloured baby clothes. You basically spent entire evenings at the mall or sprawled in the sofa, looking for things you’d soon need on the Internet.

“What about this one?” Ben pointed at the screen of his laptop, showing you a horrible brown baby jumpsuit.

You narrowed your brows, giving it a better look. “Nope”, You said shortly after, shaking your head ‘no’. Ben sighed deeply and you placed both your hands on your big belly, leaning towards it and whispering “Daddy wants you to wear horrible brown jumpsuits, baby.”

Ben have you a quick look before shaking his head in amusement. “Don’t corrupt my girl.”

“Your girl? I thought I was your girl.” Your favorite hobby was to tease him, even more now that you were pregnant. You turned towards him and started to slip your fingers through his fluffy hair.

“You’re both my girls, baby.” You grinned at him and he smiled at you before keep scrolling through the jumpsuits.

“You heard that, love? We both are his girls”, You whispered again to your belly with an amused smile. Ben put away his laptop and turned towards you, giving you a quick look before leaning towards your growing belly.

you loved when he talked to the baby, even if she’d never reacted — she hadn’t kicked not even once yet. Ben gently pulled up your shirt and you smiled when he placed a kiss on your bare skin. “Hi princess”, He whispered and you remained quiet to enjoy the that moment. “Mommy’s trying to corrupt you but you need to know that I love you very much.”

“I’m not!”, You protested, making him smile even wider.

“Yes, she is, but deep down I love her, too.”

“Deep down”, You repeated in an amused tone.

“Yes, very deep down. Y’know, that’s probably because of her obsession for musicals or the fact that she only listens to old music but she’s very annoying.”

“Oh, fuck off”, You replied and you burst out into laughter.

Ben chuckled at your reaction and you bit your lip to stop smiling. “Language, princess. But the point is”, He kept whispering to the baby “That I love you two so fuckin’ much, Rosie.”

“Don’t swear in front of the baby”, You immediately said, giving him a playful slap on the shoulder. “And Rosie?”

You’d always listed a few possible names for the baby but Rosie’d never popped up, that’s why you were so surprised. “You don’t like it?”

His green eyes were full of hope and uncertainty and you smiled to reassure him. “I love it.”

He smiled back at you and slowly nodded, moving his gaze back to your belly, which he started to caress gently. “You heard that, love? Mama loves your name — Rosie.”

The corners of your lips lifted in a sweet smile by hearing his words and you started to stroke his blonde hair as he kept rubbing your belly. You were lost at staring at his beautiful features, fantasising about him holding your little girl when you suddenly gasped.

Rosie had just kicked for the first time.

Your lips parted in disbelief and you raised your brows in surprise, exchanging a look with Ben. He was simply ecstatic and you could easily notice it by the look on his face.

“Did you feel that?” You asked in a whisper and Ben frantically nodded, placing the entire palm of his hand on the side where Rosie’d kicked.

“Yeah”, He replied in disbelief and gave you a toothy smile. You gasped again, trying to find the right words to express how it felt like — you just couldn’t. It’d been a weird, weird feeling. Rosie was moving inside you.

“Talk to her”, You suggested him and he gave you a quick nod, his big smile still impressed on his face.

“Y’know, Rosie, mommy and I just can’t wait to meet you. Even Frankie’s excited for it!” His words made you smile but Rosie didn’t react, so you gave him a nod to silently tell him to go on. “Oh and you should see all the amazing brown jumpsuits I’m gonna buy you.”

“Don’t you dare”, You said with a soft laugh but you knew he was just teasing you.

“Watch me.” You eye-rolled at his words and sighed deeply. “But I’m more than sure you’ll be as beautiful as your mommy.”

You bit your lower lip and as soon as you met his gaze Rosie kicked for the second time. You could easily see a piece of your belly lifting as she moved inside of you and you squeaked in excitement. Ben giggled and the look he gave you nearly made your heart explode of love. “Go on”, You said to encourage him.

“Hopefully you’ll get her beautiful eye-color and her features, but let’s hope you won’t take her taste for music.”

Ben had just found his favorite hobby for the next four months. Since that day Rosie started to kick more and more frequently, especially when Ben was around or when he talked to her. But with Rosie growing up in your belly, hormones were making your life simply impossible.

One day you were in the mood for Oreos, the other you were in the mood for french fries and pretzels. And you didn’t feel any better — your mood constantly switched and you were literally driving Ben insane. You felt so bad about it.

You’d woken up to an empty bed — Ben’d gone for his morning run and you were literally sprawled in your bed. Rosie hadn’t moved yet, she was probably still asleep and you missed her. Being completely alone led you to your worst flaw — overthinking.

Rosie’d have come to this world in a few months and that thought terrified you. You weren’t ready at all. Geez, you could barely take care of yourself! If it wasn’t for Ben you couldn’t even take care of Frankie, that was the brutal truth.

You didn’t move at all when you heard the front door opening. You sighed deeply and started to rub your belly, giving a look at the door of your room when you heard Ben approaching you. He was trying to be as quiet as possible but he smiled when he noticed you ere awake.

“Did I wake you up?” His breath was still a bit heavy but his tone was low and hoarse. You just shook your head ‘no’ to answer his question as he entered the room. Some strokes of hair were attached to his forehead and he was all sweaty.

“You okay?” And then again you just nodded your head ‘yes’ at his question. He bent down to pet Frankie, who had woken up by hearing him opening the front door and he gave you a concerned look, his brows slightly narrowed. “Alright, Franks. Alright. Gotta go.” And then he stood up, placing a knee on the mattress and leaning towards you.

Ben placed a kiss on your forehead and then on your lips, murmuring a soft “‘Morning, beautiful.” You mumbled a confused reply and h backed away to lean towards your big belly, placing a soft kiss on it and whispering “‘Morning to you too, love.

He was so bloody sweet with you and Rosie — you didn’t deserve him, not at all. You bit your lower lip as you felt a knot in your throat and you finally met his beautiful green eyes.

“Is she awake?” His hand was placed on your cheek and his thumb was gently caressing it, his words nothing but a whisper.

“Not yet”, You replied in his same tone and you slightly smiled at him. His hand moved from your cheek to your belly and he placed another quick kiss on your lips. “‘Right, then. I’ll go take a shower, I’m all sweaty.”

“‘kay”, You softly replied and you watched him placing a quick kiss on your belly before standing up and disappearing behind the bathroom door.

Your gaze fell to your half-done suitcases at the corner of the room — you and Ben’d soon leave to visit your family and you’d spend a few days at the beach. Yet you didn’t feel like doing anything that day.

“C’mere, Franks”, You whispered to the dog, tapping on the mattress right next to you. She quickly jumped on the bed, happily wagging her tail. “Good girl. Very good girl, Franks.” She curiously sniffed your belly like she always did since it’d started to get bigger.

You started to pet her as you heard the shower running — well, as well as your thoughts. Not long after Ben joined you in the bedroom, shirtless and still half-wet. He started to rummage on the top drawer, looking for a shirt to wear. He gave you a quick look from above his shoulder and asked “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

You pursed your lips at his question and sighed deeply. “I’m gonna be a terrible mother.” There it was, the brutal truth. You’d just spilled the beans.

You turned your head towards him, watching him as he quickly put on his shirt and turned towards you with a confused look on his face. His brows were narrowed and a few strands of wet hair were covering his forehead. “What are you talking about?”

You moved to the feet of the bed, sitting on the mattress before shrugging, trying to find the right words to express your feelings. “I’m probably gonna forget to feed her or to change her diaper or I’m gonna forget her at the mall or—”

“Hey, hey, hey. Wait. Look at me.” He quickly moved in front of you, cupping your cheeks and fixing his gaze right in yours. He spoke slowly and clearly to you to get his every word. “You’re not alone in this. You aren’t, love. I’m not going anywhere, alright?”

You bit your lower lip as your eyes became teary and you limited yourself to just nod at his words. “I’ll help you feed her and change her diaper and for God’s sake, we’re not going to forget her at the mall, ‘right?”

“Yeah”, You replied in a soft voice but you couldn’t stop the few tears that had started running down your cheeks. Ben’s features relaxed and the corner of his lips lifted in a sweet smile as soon as you raised again your chin to meet his green eyes.

“You care for Frankie as if she were your own daughter, I see that in your eyes.”

“But it’s different with a baby.” Ben leaned towards you and took your hands in his, holding them tight.

“I know, love. But I also do know that you’re going to be an amazing mother.”

You cleared your throat and nodded at his words, lowering your gaze to wipe off the tears. You heard Ben sighing deeply and as soon as you met his gaze once again you knew he was up to something. He had an excited look on his face and you gave him a questioning look, ha,f-amused by his switch of mood.

“The day we met— d’ya remember it?”

You slowly nodded your head ‘yes’. “Yeah, it was at Barbara and Mike’s wedding.”

“Yeah. You were the most beautiful woman in the room. You were sitting with your friends but I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” His admission made you smile — he’d never told you such things. But before you could reply anything he kept going.

“And after our first dates I knew, deep down, that you were the right one for me. The only one.”

“Ben, where is this—”

“Let me finish”, He interrupted you and you gave him a nod. “So with time I feel deeply in love with you — with a woman that cries her eyes out every time she watches ‘The Notebook’ and just can’t stop herself from mouthing all the lines from ‘Les Misérables’.”

You chuckled at his words and in that very specific moment Rosie kicked for the first time that day so you gasped in surprise. Ben noticed it too and lowered his gaze to your belly, placing both his hands on it. “And look what we’ve made — Rosie’s gonna be perfect and so bloody loved.”

“Yeah”, You agreed with a big smile.

“You’re the love of my life. Both of you are. And that’s why..” He quickly stood up and started to rummage on his half-done suitcase. When he came back to you he was holding a little box, kneeling right in front of you.

He quickly slipped his fingers through his hair and he stuck his tongue out as he usually did. Your lips parted in surprise and as soon as Ben’s eyes met yours you knew what was about to happen. You whispered his name but you didn’t say anything — you couldn’t even find the right words.

Ben’s smile was the biggest you’d ever seen and his eyes were glossy as he cleared his throat, opened the little box and said “Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?”

You let out a small laugh as tears started again to run down your cheeks, this time for a completely different reason. You frantically nodded your head ‘yes’ at his question and he chuckled before you could give him a vocal answer. “Yes, yes! Of course, yes!”

His lips immediately crushed into yours and you giggled. When a few minutes later he was putting on the ring, he said in an amused tone and with a grin on his face “I was planning to propose on vacation but y’know, this felt like the right moment to do it. And also, I know how much you hate surprises.”

“It’s perfect as it is.” And when you cupped his cheeks and kissed him again you finally felt complete.

You had an amazing man by your side who you were soon going to marry, a baby already on her way, Frankie who loved you in her very own way and a very supportive family. You felt so loved that it was almost too overwhelming. Funny how love is, huh?

Taglist: @luvborhap @toger-raylor @ohtheseboysilove @radiob-l-a-hblah @benders-diamond-earring

#ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fic #bohemian rhapsody #Bo Rhap #BoRhap #borhap imagine #roger taylor #roger taylor fic #roger taylor x reader #Queen #queen fic #queen band

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meandnotyou1001 · 5 years ago

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The second part to my Irondad one-shot (it was a one-shot until it got too long to post in one go). I may have another part later, but it depends.

Ask For Help

An Irondad fanfic. Part 2.

Summary:

Someone needs help and it's not who we're expecting. How are Karen and Friday going to get them the help they need when it's impossible to ignore certain protocols?

Warning: Attempted Suicide. Not a lot of suicidal thoughts, because it’s from someone else’s point of view. If this is going to trigger you, please don’t read. I’d rather you be safe, than have one more reader. Everyone please take care of yourselves and call for help if you need it.

----------------

Scarlet Witch shrieked at as a flaming red hand print appeared on her face, as well as several trickles of blood. Captain America was sprawled on the floor hand cupping his very broken jaw.

"Watch your fucking mouth," Peter snarled darkly. "Mr. Stark is not and has never! been a coward!"

"I'm glad you think that," the doctor replied coolly. "Because he's asking for you and no one detrimental to his health, physical or mental, is coming anywhere near him."

Ms. Potts stepped forward, but flinched as Dr, Cho’s hand stopped her. "I know you're scared and desperate, Pepper, but he’s asking for Peter. Let’s give them a couple of minutes."

Peter didn’t spare a second before he tore through the doors, dashing through the Medbay, and to the room where he heard the familiar heartbeat of his father. Mr. Stark could be as emotionally stunted as he wanted, but after this, Peter refused to be in denial. He would always make sure Mr. Stark knew exactly how much he loved him and how much he needed him, so he would never doubt himself again.

He did slow at the door, however, not wanting to hurt or scare him. Peter knocked, despite the nervous, desperate, anxious energy burning in him, he opened it slowly.

“Pete?” Mr. Stark’s voice sent simultaneous bolts of relief and guilt through him. He was in here, he felt this way, because of him, because of stupid finals.

“Mr. Stark,” Peter greeted hesitantly.

“I’m sorry, Kid. You didn’t need to see that.” His voice was a little raspy, but his demeanor screamed with the mimicry of Mr. Stark’s “Media Smile” as he’d dubbed it..

Peter folded his arms around himself as he stared at his too-pale mentor. He looked so unlike himself, but he was playing it off. Like it was no big deal. Like it was just a little moment of weakness that Peter wasn’t supposed to see. Peter wasn’t sure what to do. Suddenly, he was so unsure of himself. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t cry, he was forcing himself not to. Mr. Stark was the one that needed support! He needed to be taken care of right now! He shouldn’t be putting up a mask just so Peter would feel better...He couldn’t! Not when he now knew!

Do you want it to end up like last time? a voice demanded in his head.

“No,” he hissed out loud, suddenly angry.

If he hadn’t been looking right at him, Peter would have missed the flinch, it could have even been a muscle twitch, but Peter was determined not to think so. He forced away all fears and all doubts, doing what he hoped would be exactly what both of them needed.

He crossed the room in several long strides. Without even caring about personal space (but definitely caring about injury), he wrapped his arms around the older man, and with his superstrength, pulled him off the bed into the tightest hug he could give, without further breaking the man. It was immediately returned.

“No,” he repeated softer, into Tony’s ear. “I don’t care about sorry. I did need to see that. I needed to know and now I do, and now I know just what to say.”

Peter heard the intake of breath, knew Tony was going to start talking. “Let me talk first,” he said softly. “You get to every other time, my turn to be the support.”

There was a pause. “Whatever you need, Bud,” Tony whispered, holding just as tightly as Peter was.

“I want you to promise never to do it again. Please!” he begged, never talking above a whisper. “I need you! I’d be dead in a dumpster in Queens somewhere, stabbed or shot full of holes without you. I need you so bad, I think it makes Aunt May jealous. I love you, Tony. I’d say, “like a dad”, but I don’t really remember to be able to compare. But I do love you like I loved Uncle Ben, but different and maybe that’s the dad part, that little bit of difference that I don’t really understand. I love you like I can’t live without you and I’m such a super-powered mess and Aunt May can’t keep up, even though she tries.”

“Pete,” Tony’s voice is raw in his ear and his hold tightened even more.

“I love you so much it hurts sometimes,” Peter interrupted him. “So, please...Dad, don’t ever do this again. Please?!”

“I promise, Pete!” He gasped, sounding so unlike himself. “I--I know you’d be better off without me--”

“No I wouldn’t,” Peter countered.

His dad hesitated, expecting Peter to continue, but when he didn’t, his dad spoke again. “School comes first, Kid--”

“Family first.” Peter interrupted.

“You, all of you, are so capable without me, even yo--” he tried again.

“No we’re not. They are capable for you, but all of them would be a mess without you there to be the mess for them...I’m a mess anyway.” Peter was smooth in his rebuttals.

“Pete,” his dad hissed in reprimand. “I know, all of you could live and go on without me--”

“No we couldn’t. I sure in hell couldn’t. I’m pretty sure Happy would crash the first time he got in a car without your permission. Ms. Potts would burn your empire to the ground, taking herself out in a massive blaze of glory. Rhodey would commit military suicide, going down with guns blazing like a modern day Sampson. Aunt May would die of boredom, literally drop dead in the streets, without you. I think Vision would tap into his inner Ultron and destroy the world, go complete psychopath on us. What do you think?”

His dad chuckled, burying his nose deeper into Peter’s hair. “Hilarious,” he remarked dryly, “now are you going to shut up and let me talk yet.”

“Sure, unless it’s deprecating and painful to hear. Then I’m just going to keep being an ass and interrupting. You’re always saying I should hit “teenage rebellion” before it turns into “midlife crisis”.” Peter felt so much better having heard the desired chuckle. It was stressful, and tiring, being the mature one and could understand why his dad left it up to Aunt May or Ms. Potts so often.

“Pete,” his tone was reprimanding again, but Peter chuckled. He could hear the lightness in it, and that was what mattered.

“I don’t want to know your reasons,” he said, becoming serious again. “They don’t matter, not because I don’t care, but because no matter what, no matter your reasoning, I will always love you.” Peter paused for a moment. “Hell, you could have used Ultron to take over the world and be this horrible, crazy, psychotic dictator and I’m pretty sure I’d be your innocent, completely naive son, who would loyaly murder some puppies for you, just because you told me they were plotting your overthrow.”

It worked. Again.

His dad burst out laughing, dropping back on the pillows (with Peter still in his arms), laughing until he couldn’t breathe. Peter quickly and easily joined in. It was better than dwelling on the somber mood and horribly terrifying events.

When they calmed again, Peter shifted, so he was laying on his dad’s right side, still wrapped in each other’s arms. He was NOT letting go anytime soon, but he could also hear footsteps, which meant he was going to have to share.

“Peter,” his dad started, not realizing they were going to have company soon, “I really am sorry.”

“I know,” Peter answered. “But let’s not dwell on it.”

“Pete--”

“You’re going to have to deal with Ms. Potts and Colonel Rhodes and Happy and Aunt May and I’m pretty sure Dr. Cho and Vision and I don’t know about the other Avengers, I punched Captain America before I came in here and bitch-slapped the Scarlet Witch--”

“What?!”

“Anyway, you’re going to have to deal with it with all of the adults, so...we talked about it and you know how I feel and how I’ll always feel, so can we let it go?” Peter looked up at his dad. “Unless you really, really need to talk to me about it, we can not and we’ll let everybody else smother you. I’ll be your normal.”

His dad stared down at him for a long time. Long enough for the footsteps to have reached the door and knocked softly. “Come in!” His dad called, without looking away. And as the door opened, he said, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I wish I had done it a lot sooner. Maybe my life wouldn’t suck so damn much if I’d had you from the beginning.”

Peter blushed and smiled, burying his face in the hospital gown his dad wore. It was already permeated enough that Peter’s sharp nose could smell his familiar scent. He absently wondered how his dad managed to get the motor oil smell to be there even when he was wearing a brand new hospital gown that hadn’t so much as been worn in a car, let alone worn while one was being taken apart and cleaned.

“Tony!” Both Peter and his dad were suddenly enveloped in a very oxymoronic, viciously-gentle hug. “Tony, please stop!” Ms. Potts was a step away from full out sobbing as she held them. “Please, you know I don’t want to live without you.”

“But you could, if you had to,” His dad said.

Peter hissed in irritation as Ms. Potts jerked away to glare down at him. “Yes,” she snapped. Peter felt his dad flinch. “I could. Years from now, when we’re old and gray, and your sorry ass died on me first. While I finish the funeral arrangements, kiss the grandchildren one more time, and put one last bonque on Happy’s and Rhodey’s graves. I could live without you for that long and only that long!”

Peter tucked his face into his dad’s chest to hide his smile. He also closed his eyes and muttered a customary, “Ew,” when she leaned down and kissed him tenderly.

“I wouldn’t last,” she whispered. “I don’t doubt I’ll outlive you, but I wouldn't last. I’d waste away.”

“Of boredom, if nothing else,” they all looked over at the sound of Colonel Rhodes’ voice. “What on earth would we do if we didn’t have your messes to clean up.”

His dad sighed, not answering, as he rested his head on Peter’s. “I’m sorry,” he finally whispered. “I know I was getting better...I thought I was past all this.”

“It’s okay, Tones,” Colonel Rhodes reassured, resting a supportive hand on his dad’s leg. “It’s okay if you’re not, but all you have to do is ask.”

“We could have kidnapped the kid if you wanted to see him that bad,” Happy added, walking into the room with Aunt May, Dr. Cho and Vision.

“No kidnapping necessary,” Aunt May replied, “just make sure you return him when you're done...and preferably in a timely manner. Well-fed and watered, of course.”

The adults all chuckled, low and soft. Soberly.

“You have all our support, whenever you need us,” Vision added.

“I know,” his dad said. “I do. I’m sorry, all of you. I am.”

There were several sad smiles at this, but Dr. Cho broke the moment. “Whoa, you all had better write that down, Tony Stark just apologized!”

They all burst out laughing, but Aunt May, a quite capable jokester, added, “What are you talking about, he apologizes to me all the time!”

They laughed harder, but even with it, they had gathered around their wounded person, each longing to hold and support him, but settling for what they could. Peter was wrapped around his right side, Ms. Potts his right, very attentive toward his wound and IV. Colonel Rhodes still had a steady hand resting on his dad’s calf, leaning at the end of the bed. Happy had flipped a chair and was sitting on it backward, but his arm dangled over the bars at the foot of the bed, his fingers just brushing his dad’s foot. Aunt May was sitting in a chair beside Peter, her hand resting perfectly so it was holding both him and his dad’s arms. Vision sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, his long legs stretched out and purposefully touching his dad’s.

Dr. Cho was the only one not seeking contact, but she was studying his chart, beside the hospital machines, an attentive sentinel to his health, doing what she did best.

Author’s Note: You are loved, all of you. And if not, if you truly feel you need someone to love you, message me. I’d be more than happy. I am very open and very caring and I want to help. Even heroes have bad days, or falter, or mess up. Sometimes small things turn big, no matter how illogical it all seems.

Regarding Cap and Wanda. I do not hate them in any way, they were just the two I chose. I figure, because different cultures have different views on suicide, Wanda was a good choice for the “protest” because she’s not from America. Conversely, Cap is, but he’s from the 1940’s. I couldn’t get a good picture of their view back then, but I’m probably going to hazard that it probably isn’t that good. Besides, Cap is a Christian and that means he would view suicide as a sin.

Now, I haven’t decided if I’m going to do another shot of the Avengers’ reactions, possibly including Thor and Bruce, but that all depends on the reception and my inspiration. In this second shot, I would include what happened after Peter’s violent outburst and how Wanda and Cap redeem themselves, but again, it depends on my reception. So, please, review or favorite.

#dad #fanfic #fanfiction #Irondad #Ironman #Spiderman #Spiderson #Ironddad/Spiderson #Iron-dad/Spider-son #hurt/comfort #family #friends #love #the first time Peter calls Tony

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archivedatl · 18 years ago

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AP web exclusive: All Time Low tour diary

Posted by Scott Heisel on 08-Dec-06 @ 04:43 PM

Last month, Baltimore pop-punkers All Time Low took to the road with Sugarcult for a series of shows on the West Coast. Here's some of what they saw, in words and pictures. Learn more at www.alltimelow.com.

#1------------------------------------------------------------ Ooohooo So last night we celebrated two awesome occasions...well 3 since matt's molars finally grew in...anyways yesterday was Haloween and our first night of our tour with Sugarcult. I must say, it is pretty strange touring with a band who I spent the better years of my middle school life watching on MTV. Regardless of where this band has been, it definetly didn't eff with their personalities. They were all super nice to us and each came up and introduced themselves. The show went pretty well but it wasn't a good judgement of our the whole tour is going to be because Sugarcult didn't even headline, the Eagles Of Death Metal did, and the tickets for $25 on Haloween night :) I'm sorry but I would never go to a show if those were the circumstances...I'd be out expanding my collection of holiday treats. Tonight the 'real' tour begins so we will see how it goes. We are playing Washington State University in Pullman Washington. We haven't done too many college shows, so this should be interesting...anyways before we got on the road a couple days ago we were couped up in Ben Harper's (formely of yellowcard, now in amber pacific) house/studio in long beach, CA working on our new CD :). We demoed some hot licks that were going to send over to our producer matt squire so that he can put in some input. I heard my blogs are going to be posted on the Alternative Press website for this tour, so if that's the case then...helll yeah! Well I just woke up from sleeping in the van so I am gonna walk out into the freezing streets of Pullman, WA crack my back and grab some Qudoba. Much Love, Jack --jbstar #2------------------------------------------------------------ Yoo dooodds, So I'm gonna update you guys on the passed couple shows...on Wednsday we played Washington State University. Those kids are freaking crazy! Everyone seemed to be having a good time and we made some awesome new friends. I cannot stress enough, how cool the Sugarcult guys are. Which is really cool because I have been listening to those guys since 6th grade! Anyways before we played, matt thought it would be a good idea to have a fork and knife fight backstage...yeah it turned pretty ugly and we should have some footage online soon enough. That night we partied at 'The Christmas House'. Lets just say that I'm pretty sure alex made out with a dog...I really miss Hit The Lights :( Anways...we played Seattle after the college show and it was offf the hoooook. Everyone in the room was dancing and it got pretty redic. As soon as we told them the alex/dog story they went nuts. We met up with the Pink Spiders that night. We were nervous about that because we've heard some stuff...but for real those guys are the shit. There all super nice and we have no complaints about them. We have yet to tour with a band who we don't get along with (fingers crossed). We also heard that we may be doing a few shows with Cobra Starship in Dec, if that happends that would be sick. I'll keep you guys updated. Someone made us a bucket of the craziest donuts ive ever seen at the portland show last night!! They were reallly good. Sorry for the lack of pics, I'll make sure my next post has more, its just hard to take good pics on a sidekick :). Talk to you guys soon!!Jacko #3------------------------------------------------------------ Yo Babaayyss, Last nights show was off the hook! I love playing at The Boardwalk in orangevale calii. The crowd was as wild as usual and a bunch of kids were singing along. A lot of the same kids who saw us there on the Amber Pacific tour came back. Its always cool to see so many familiar faces,,,cough cough hint hint nudge...you get the idea folks! The next couple shows should be interesting...reno and vegas. I wont be able to gamble but at least ill be able to look at a lot of lights. We all have family comming out, so that should be exciting. I havent seen my brother and sister in ages and i know their gonna be wasted so that means they will be even more friendly :) Also Meg n Dia join up in vegas which is sick, SO SIKED FOR THAT!!! We met them on warped and their super nice. anyways i think its time, i go to In and Out because after this tour im not going to be able to go back for a while :( im going to eat there everyday twice a day until we leave Arizona. Ive attached pics from our set on the Epitaph stage at this years Bamboozle Left and also some pics of our acoustic set the 2nd day! Thanks to everyone who watched us either/both days :) love you peace peace n a bottle o' hair grease, jack #4------------------------------------------------------------ Wow...vegas has to be one of the strangest places on this earth. First of all we showed up in Reno (shity city) only to find that only sugarcults crew was there and the show probably wasnt going on. We were welcomed by a hooker in a pink tanktop and no teeth asking if we had any shirts we could give her...Thankfully we have power windows and middle fingers. Thankfully zack was asleep or he might have took her up on some of her offers...he's getting desperate you know..just kidding! Anyways we decided to hang out with sugarcults crew for a little then start the drive to vegas early since it was 8 house. We got to go over the Hoover Damn which was sweet. It's seriously Vegas Vacation all over again! Anyways, we got to vegas around midnight and it was a fantastic site! My bro and sis were staying at the MGM so thats where i headed. Rian to the Excalibur, Alex and Matt to the Venecian and Zack to the Luxor. We all split up and hung out with our fam for the evening. My brother took me around vegas and boyyy was it interesting. I was approached by numerous drunk people. It was basically like an Ocean City, Maryland for older people. It's just a place for adults to drink, walk around drunk, act like teenagers and maybe gamble a bit here n' there. it was Akward to say the least. Anyways the next day was the show at the House Of Blues at Mandalay Bay...probably one of the nicest venues we have ever played. We introduced ourselves to the Meg n Dia folks and got to know our new tour mates as we shared a dressing room. We soon found they are awesome people and they share a love for getting wild! The show was pretty cool, and the crowd was big. It was weird though because the merch was not in the venue, it was in the cassino haha. Anyways Vegas was an experience we wont forget, and I cant wait till we go there again. I hope the next time we go, were 21...actually nevermind because that would be three years :)stay rad, Jack #5------------------------------------------------------------ Lame! Tonight was our last show on the Sugarcult Tour featuring The Pink Spiders and Meg n Dia :( Damone will be taking our place on this great lineup. I am jelous that they get to join up! Anyways we made some lifetime friends on this tour and it was a great experience for everyone. Every single show was amazing and the fans never let us down. Traveling to bumfuck arizona and hearing a couple hundred kids sing your song is the coolest feeling ever. Sugarcult was very warming towards us and their personalities suprised the shit out of me. they were such cool guys and even when zack was sick they made him soup and gave him Emergen-C. WHO DOES THAT !?!? Thats like something my mom does...so in a way Sugarcult are our parents. They actually reffered to us as their younger brothers on stage. At the last show of the tour in Little Rock, Arkansas us and Meg n Dia ran on stage during "Bouncing Off the Walls" and started bouncing around and took over Tim's Guitar n Mic, Marko's (my twin) guitar and Airens Bass. It was so fun to bro down with a band that ive been listening to since middle school haha. Alex also got to soundcheck with sugarcult at Texas AM College because tim was at the hospital taking care of his sickness (i think he had a nasty cold). It was so crazy to see alex soundcheck with a band who for the past few years have held a special spot on my ipod and in my cd player :) I attached a pic of him sound-checking for fun. At the end of the show we said our goodbyes and gave our hugs. This is'nt the end of these friendships though, only the beggining...now we head home to write a new cd. Catch us on the road in the northeast in december when we head out with Cobra Starship! Stay safe, Jack

#2006 #blog #Jack Barakat #text #alternative press #all time low #sugarcult tour

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cherrybracelets · 6 years ago

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Miracle - Part 3 (A Joe Mazzello x Reader Fic)

link to part 1

( warnings: swearing, pregnancy, mention of blood, hospitals, labor / word count : 3.1k )

(tag list : @joemazzelo @denimmay @mazzelloplots @mrsmazzello @borhapqueen92 @jiswoogannon @deakyspuff )

(note from me; this was originally supposed to be almost 10k words by the time i was done but i decided to split it in half so sorry for the cliff hanger but the next part is done so i’ll post sooner than usual!!!)

“Okay, what about chicken wings? Are babies feeling chicken wings?” Joe spoke into your large belly, holding various take out menus in his hands. You shook your head and let out a large sigh.

“No, no no.” You buried your face into your hands and felt your face getting hot. “I am so done being pregnant Joe. I want some tequila. And a god damn macchiato. I’m over it. I want them out.” Tears were flooding down your face, and Joe moved closer to you on the couch, wrapping an arm around your neck.

“Hey, babe, it’ll be okay. The C-Section is just two weeks away, now. It’ll be here before you know it. And I promise the minute they’re out of your uterus we will buy a giant bottle of Jose Cuervo and have ourselves a night!” Joe kissed the side of your cheek and you let out a slight laugh. You looked at your belly, and set a hand down slightly on it.

“Oh, babies. Mommy can’t wait to see you. I’m not mad at you, I’m just tired. Don’t take it the wrong way.” A few more tears fell from your cheeks, and Joe handed you a tissue to dry your face.

“They know you love them, don’t worry about that.” Joe smiled up at you, and began flipping through more take out menus. “We have to order food here soon, I’m starving momma, you have to tell me what you want. Anything you want.”

“The only thing that doesn’t make me want to completely die is that taco place. Do you think if I order fish tacos just this once it will be okay?” You pouted at Joe, who just shook his head slightly.

“Do you wanna risk it? I could call Dr. Maxwell if it’s really important to you, but everything I’ve read says-“

“FINE! Just get me whatever will be safe for the babies. And extra guac.” You rolled over on the couch and laid your head down, closing your eyes. How was it possible to be this tired all the time? And have to pee this much all the time? Joe squeezed your hand and went into the other room to call and order your food.

You rolled on your back and laid your feet up on the couch. Your ankles were swollen and you hadn’t shaved your legs in a weeks. And Joe, god bless him, was still so heart eyes in love with you. No matter how much you complained or cried or vomited. You even peed the bed once, a few weeks ago. He was just so in love with you. You didn’t get it, at all. You were a large blubbering disgusting mess. But you had his two babies inside of you. And you were the love of his life, according to him. He couldn’t want anything more than this.

You really didn’t deserve Joe. He did everything and more for you. And you were a lot to handle right now. He ran out in the middle of the night to get Dill Pickle chips for you. He painted your toenails, booked massages for you, cooked you dinner, divided up your medicine you had to take each day. He was nothing short of a perfect husband, and he would be nothing short of a perfect dad.

In all honest, you were terrified to have these babies. You wanted to be a mom, of course, but compared to Joe you weren’t even close to being a good parent. He knew everything, was so overly prepared. Every time he brought up a fact you didn’t know, or reminded you you had to buy something you had no idea about, you felt a little less and less like a parent.

You weren’t mad at him for being such a good dad. You knew he had wanted this since he was like 16. You just felt scared. And you didn’t want to tell Joe because you didn’t want him to think any less of you. So you talked to Ben. You and Ben had a standing phone date every Thursday at 3pm. Joe was always out for at least two hours then, it was when he had his “Dad Class” as he liked to call it. Ben was able to reassure you for a couple days that you would be the best mom in the world and the babies would love to have you. But the feelings would creep back in again, and you’d call Ben. And the cycle kept going.

Because the babies were scheduled to be here in two weeks, you began flying all your friends and family out to you who you wanted to be there. Ben was the first to join you. Since he was both yours and Joe’s best friend, you needed him here before anyone else. As much as you couldn’t wait to have your parents and siblings, and Joe’s family as well, you knew they’d drive you up the wall eventually, and needed a little R&R before you had to deal with that shit show.

Joe came back into the room, picking up your feet and sitting under them. He began to rub your ankles slightly, and you let out a sigh of relief. Fuck, he was good. You didn’t even have to ask.

“Food is ordered babe. Should be like 45 minutes, they said. Also, Ben will be here tomorrow. Do you wanna drive to the airport with me?”

“Absolutely not. I love Ben, but sitting in a car for an hour with no bathroom sounds dangerous. I’m not letting you see me pee myself a second time. I already have night mares about it happening before.” You laughed and Joe rolled his eyes at you.

“Babe, you’re carrying humans? Literally two people are inside of you. I don’t think you should be judging your body that hard right now. It’s doing something miraculous. That’s all I’m focused on. Pee away, sweet girl.” Joe laughed, and you kicked him slightly with your foot. You felt a baby shift inside of you, and sit directly on your bladder.

“Ugh! I had just gotten comfortable. Why do you enjoy torturing me so much?” You sat yourself up and waddled to the bathroom to pee. Getting up after sitting was probably one of the hardest things you had to do, so you always took an extra few minutes to just sit and relax on the toilet. When you finally decided it was time to get yourself back up, you wiped and your heart stopped. Blood. It wasn’t a lot, but it was blood. Blood that shouldn’t be there.

You quickly walked into the living room, your face white and your heart pounding. “Joe,” you whispered, looking at him gleefully sitting there on his phone.

“What’s yo babe?” He looked up at you and immediately noticed your face. He stood up and ran to you.

“I think I need to go to the hospital. There’s blood.” You looked down at your belly, and placed a hand on it slightly. It didn’t hurt, but you flinched a bit when you touched yourself.

“Okay... it’s okay. It’s probably nothing, (Y/N). Let’s get in the car and I’ll call Dr. Maxwell on the way over. Just breathe. We have two beautiful healthy babies. They’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.” Joe kissed you on the forehead and you nodded. He grabbed your ‘Emergency Hospital’ bag out of the closet, and took your hand. He had called his driver to come pick you up. He wanted to be with you the entire way and didn’t feel comfortable driving.

Once you got sat in the back seat of the car, Joe called your doctor and held your hand tight. Your driver was aware of your situation, and did not hesitate to drive a little faster than he legally should have. You stared at the back of the seat, almost in a bit of shock. You had come so far with your babies, you absolutely could not lose them.

“We’re headed there now, yeah,” you heard Joe mutter into the phone. You had been zoning in and out of the whole conversation, but listened in to that part. Joe was nervously biting his thumb nail and tapping his foot

“Okay, we’ll see you there. Should be about ten minutes.” Joe ended the call and looked up at you, smiling. “He’s already at the hospital with another patient, so he’ll be there when we get there. He said it shouldn’t be anything to worry about, since we were just there a week ago and everything looks fine. But we’re doing the right thing by going, just checking up.”

“Okay... okay,” you shivered a bit, and Joe instinctively put his arms around you. He laid his cheek against your head and rubbed your arms with his hands. He kept muttering ‘Everything will be ok’ and ‘We might just meet our kids a bit earlier than expected, and that’s totally okay’. His calming voice and demeanor helped you breath a bit steadier.

“We’re here.” The driver said to you, looking between the open space behind him. Joe smiled and thanked him.

“I’ll go get a wheelchair, stay here okay, don’t walk.” Joe hopped out of the car and slammed his door. You sat there, waiting, a sick feeling growing in your stomach. The sound of the door opening made you jump out of your dazed thoughts.

Joe grabbed your hand and helped you sit down on the chair. He wheeled you around and through the doors of the hospital.

“We’re here for Dr. Maxwell. The Mazzellos. He said he would tell you we were coming.” Joe spoke with a swift and intense tone of voice. He was scared, too. He didn’t act like it, but you could tell. And somehow that made you feel a bit better.

A nurse came out to greet you, and bring you back to a private room. Joe pushed your chair, following her down a few hallways. Eventually you got to a tiny, beige colored room. Ugh, you hated hospitals. So dull and boring. Made everything a thousand times worse.

“I’ll let Dr. Maxwell know you’re here. Get changed and get comfortable, there’s a call button on the side if you need anything. I’ll be back in a few,” the nurse smiled at you, and touched your arm lightly. Joe helped you stand up and change into a paper gown. You flopped onto the bed and under the covers.

“Do you feel okay? Does anything hurt?” Joe was playing with his fingers, a nervous habit he had had for as long as you were together.

“Not really. Maybe a bit of cramping, but I figured it was just pregnancy gas. My heart is a bit fluttery, too, I guess,” you sighed, and placed a finger to your wrist to feel your pulse. It felt fine, but what did you know about an irregular pulse.

Joe and you sat in silence for a bit, you laid your head back on the bed and closed your eyes. It could be a UTI, or a kidney stone. Maybe a bladder infection? All of those weren’t good signs, but they weren’t the babies, which was all you cared about.

“My favorite couple, how are you?” Dr. Maxwell burst through the door, his glasses down to the tip of his nose, carrying files in both hands.

“Well, considering where we are, we’re not doing too good,” Joe laughed a bit when he spoke, a quiet, nervous laugh.

“I’m sure everything is just fine. The very first thing I wanna do is get your blood pressure, and do an ultra sound to check up on our little friends. Once we do that, we can rule a lot of things out and figure out what’s going on here.” Dr. Maxwell smiled at both of you, and jotted a few things down in his files. The nurse from earlier came through the door with a blood pressure machine. Another nurse you hadn’t seen yet followed behind with an ultra sound.

“Can I have your arm, please?” The nurse asked. You stuck out your arm and rolled up your sleeve. The doctor and other nurse were on the opposite side of the bed, starting up the machine. The plastic cuff around your arm began to tighten, making you a bit uncomfortable. The nurse stared intently at the screen, waiting for the results.

“Doctor, the blood pressure is pretty high. Much higher than regular according to her charts,” the nurse reported to Dr. Maxwell. He looked over at the machine and squinted his eyes. He took a deep breath and looked down at his files again.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Go call Dr. Pieri, please.” The nurse nodded, and walked swiftly out of the room after detaching you from the machine.

“Is everything okay? That didn’t sound good.” Joe ran his hands through his hair, and leaned back in his chair.

“That’s not great, but it could mean a number of things. Let’s just look at the babies before we get nervous.” Dr. Maxwell lifted up your gown to reveal your swollen belly. The nurse squirted a bit of warm gel onto you, and Dr. Maxwell began to use the scope. He pushed down hard in certain areas, and it made you wince a bit. You saw the little blobs of baby on the screen. Although you really didn’t know how to read once of those things, they looked okay.

“You see that, right there,” Dr. Maxwell pointed to something on the screen, and the nurse looked intensely at it. She nodded at him and wrote something down in the file.

“See what?” Joe stood up and yelled a bit. He was letting his anxiety get the better of him now.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay. Just seems like one of your babies is ready to come out now and doesn’t wanna wait any longer.”

Your heart dropped as you looked over to Joe. He shook his head a few times and closed his eyes. You looked back at Dr. Maxwell, who was still looking at the ultrasound with intensity.

“Baby Boy here is pushing on the placenta a little bit harder than he should. It’s starting to rip a bit, which is why you saw a little blood. It’s not too bad yet, at all. But you need to get them out of you now before it causes more problems.” He set the scope of the machine down and faced you directly.

“I don’t understand... we were supposed to have two more weeks,” you felt your body shaking, and you looked at the screen trying to find a reason this was happening.

“Well, sometimes babies decide they didn’t like the date you chose. Especially multiples. But everything will be okay. They’re going to be a little more premature than I would like, but Dr. Pieri, the head of the NICU here, is amazing. He will make sure they’re getting the treatment they need.”

“Will they survive?” You had to ask. You couldn’t handle burying another baby. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control right in front you. Two hours ago you were ordering tacos on your couch and now you were going to have two tiny babies who were supposed to stay inside of you. They needed more time to grow, your body had so much left to give them. You started crying, an ugly loud cry. You felt your heart beating faster.

“The chance of survival is extremely high. They’ll need to be here for a while but I don’t foresee any problems like that. I’ve been in this situation more times than you can count. Things will be okay.”

“I don’t know I’m ready to be a mom.” You looked up to Joe, who had a similar nervous look on his face.

“Well, I hate to tell you this, but it doesn’t seem like you have much of a choice,” Dr. Maxwell laughed, and patted your hand. “I’m gonna go book an OR. Stay put.” Dr. Maxwell and the nurse walked out of the room, discussing your files.

“Joey... I cant do this today. I was supposed to have two more weeks. I’m not ready to be a mom.”

“Of course you are, my love. You’re going to be the greatest mom in the entire world. You already are.” Joe kissed you on the forehead, and started to tear up a bit.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You placed your hand on Joe’s cheek and wiped away a tear from his cheek.

“I just can’t believe I’m going to be a dad today,” Joe smiled down at you and let out a small laugh. “I’m gonna be a dad. We’re gonna be parents.”

“What if something goes wrong?”

“Nothing will go wrong, I feel it. They’re strong little babies. They’re Mazzello babies. They’re gonna be totally okay.” Joe kissed your belly, and smiled up at you. Joe was so confident all the time, you didn’t know how he did it. He could say anything and instantly make you feel better.

Joe decided to call both of your families and Ben, letting them know the news. You could hear him excitedly telling everyone it was time for the babies. You took a deep breath and looked down on your belly.

“Alright guys, I guess it’s time for you to leave mommy. I’m gonna miss having you in me .... kind of,” you laughed a bit and took a deep breath. “I’m a little nervous to meet you. I hope you like me. I know you’ll like your dad. He’s amazing.”

“Alright, you guys, the OR is prepped. Is everyone ready?” Dr. Maxwell has changed into a pair of scrubs, nurses standing behind him.

“Okay, baby. It’s happening. We’re gonna have our babies.” Joe held your hand and kissed your lips.

Dr. Maxwell had you and Joe change into the appropriate OR attire. When you were ready, he wheeled you into the room with Joe following excitedly behind.

You laid on the bed, Joe sitting beside you squeezing your hand. You looked at all the doctors and nurses scrubbing in around you. Metal tools and IVs everywhere. Your heart began beating quickly and beats of sweat formed on your forehead.

“Ok, I’m gonna start to put you under anesthesia now, okay (Y/N)? You may begin to feel a bit loopy, but I promise you everything’s gonna be okay.” Dr. Maxwell had a nurse begin the place a mask over your face. You began to breathe in a gas, and everything went a bit fuzzy.

You focused on Joe’s face, zoning in and out. The room around you went out of focus, but Joe’s face didn’t change.

“We’re gonna be parents, Joey,” you murmured, and Joe smiled brightly at you.

“Yes we are!”

#bohemian rhapsody #borhap #joe mazzello #queen #joe mazzello fanfiction #joe mazzello x reader #taylorwrites #miracle #joe mazzello fluff

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portraitsofivy · 7 years ago

Text

In My Dreams

Requested by an anon on @seizethebens ‘ blog a few days ago.

Anonymous asked: Race x reader soulmate AU? (The one where you can communicate through dreams)

Tag List (to be tagged in future fics just reply to this post and I’ll add you!):

@seize-the-davey @spot--conlon @ben-cook-can-cook

You first learned about soulmate dreams when you were six years old. That's the first time you had one. A blond boy, no older than you, was fighting a dragon.

You dreamed some armor and fought it with him. When the dragon was defeated, the boy turned to you and bowed. “Never before have I seen a lady fight so well before.”

You woke up smiling.

Every time since then, the boy (Race, his name was) would appear in your dream and go alongside you. You helped each other through nightmares, and laughed through the good ones.

But your favourite dreams where the ones when the two of you just talked in a field. And when you drifted off and that scene greeted you, you smiled.

You wandered around for awhile, waiting for Race to go to sleep and join you. Finally, he did.

“Hey, you,” you greeted.

Race waved. “Hi.”

“What took you so long?” you asked, pulling up a blue flower and tucking it behind his ear.

Race shrugged. “I’m real nervous for tomorrow.”

You smiled. “You’ll be fine. And I guarantee you’ll find some friends that are just as good, if not better than your Brooklyn friends.”

Race smiled and held your hand where it rested on his cheek. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“So what do you want to do tonight?” he asked.

You shrugged. “We could continue the racing dream from a few weeks ago.”

The track materialized around you as Race raced off on a brown mare.

The next day, your school was abuzz with news of a new kid. Sarah was the one to finally tell you about him.

“He’s short, and one of the teachers cussed him out for smoking his vape in class. Davey says his stress levels rose 30% in one class period alone.” She smacked her bubble gum.

You rolled your eyes. “Davey’s stress levels are always fluctuating, I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Plus, his name is super weird. His real name is Antony, but I don’t he had a weird nickname.” Sarah thought for a moment before she shook her head. “I don’t remember. Maybe it's a gang name from one of those Brooklyn groups.”

You shrugged. “Maybe. Tell everyone hi, and that I’ll see them at auditions. Go to lunch, you don’t wanna be late.”

Sarah sighed, dramatically peeling herself from the lockers as though she couldn’t bare to be dragged away from you. “Fine. And don’t worry about those, Charity loves you. You’re sure to get a good part.”

“Maybe. We’ll wait ‘til the cast list is put up.”

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, but people were still talking about the new kid.

“I heard he got ISS,” one kid muttered.

“I heard he was caught making out with his girlfriend in the janitor’s closet,” another answered.

“He’s an asshole,” Davey said as he plopped into the seat beside you in the theatre. “He almost beats Jack for how much of an asshole he is.”

“Davey, you love Jack.”

“I also love you, doesn’t mean you cease to get on my nerves.”

You gasped. “Davey? You love me? I wasn’t expecting this so soon in our relationship!”

Davey shoved you. “Shut up.”

The two of you sat quietly for awhile, making note of everytime the door slammed open or shut behind you. Soon the rest of your friend group was gathered around you, Jack and Katherine behind you, Crutchie with his walkie-talkie standing next to you waiting for auditions to start, and Blink and Mush playing chopsticks in the floor. The theatre was alive with noise until the director, Charity, stood and commanded silence from the room.

Auditions started soon after, groups of people being led away to practice for a moment before doing a cold read of the script. By the time it was over you were pretty confident you’d done well, but the parts wouldn’t be announced for at least a week.

Callbacks were Wednesday, and the cast list was posted Monday. You scanned the list anxiously, starting from the bottom. Your eyes finally landed on the top and you squealed so loudly half the hallway stopped to look at you. You had landed the role of Katherine!

Speaking of the devil, your friend rounded the corner at the same time and gave you a weird look.

“I got the part!” you yelled.

Katherine clapped her hands before running over and hugging you. “Congrats, (Y/N)!” She let go of you and moved back a bit. “Who got Jack?”

You looked back at the list. “Some kid named Antony?”

“Ah, the new kid,” Katherine nodded. “Good luck with that.”

“He could be a terrific actor!” you defended.

Katherine rolled her eyes. “Sure. We’ll see.”

You looked at the bottom of the sheet again and saw that rehearsals were starting in ten minutes and you still had to get all the way across campus to the theatre. You bid Katherine goodbye before taking off down the hallway at a fast walk.

You made it to the theatre with a minute to spare and slid into your seat beside Davey. Jack was sitting on the other side, regaling the boys with his latest exploits that had landed him in detention.

Charity walked up onstage and began rehearsal, giving out a few guidelines. Everyone listened, even the seniors who’d been doing this for years.

“Now, if I could have my leads stand and come on stage. I’d like Jack and Katherine to come up here please.”

You stood at the same time as Jack. The theatre laughed, and Charity glared playfully at Jack before telling him to sit down. He grinned and complied.

You and another boy walked to opposite sides of the stage and ascended at the same time. You glanced up at him and immediately stopped.

It was Race. Your Race.

Your mouth fell open as you looked at him. You were frozen in your spot, staring at your soulmate. He gave you a tight lipped smile before turning his attention back to the director. You however, could not take your eyes off of him.

“(Y/N)?” Charity snapped her fingers. “You with us, darling?”

You shook out of your thoughts and looked at her. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just, uh, distracted is all.”

Charity nodded. “Well, you better get your head on straight, we don’t have time for distractions.”

You nodded. She called for the first scene, where Race as Jack and Davey as Crutchie would be on the rooftop, singing about how much they hate New York.

You sat back in the audience, next to Crutchie. “I can’t believe we’re finally doing Newsies, and not one of us got the character we’re named after.”

“I supposed it was a little much to hope for,” you said distractedly.

Crutchie turned to look at you. “Hey, are you okay?”

You nodded. “Fine. Just thought I saw something.”

As soon as rehearsal was over you tried to track Race down, but he disappeared. Resigned you went out to your car, knowing that if nothing else you’d see him when you fell asleep.

But you didn’t. He wasn’t there when you were asleep. He wasn’t there the next day either, the two of you didn’t share any classes, and he always ran away right after your rehearsal. It seemed he was ignoring you.

Every scene that featured Jack and Katherine was stilted and awkward as you poured your heart into your part and Race tried to act while shrugging away from you. Charity asked every time why Race was acting so awkward, and everytime he just shrugged.

You sat in the theatre next to Jack, watching Race and Davey on the rooftop for probably the twentieth time that week. Race was acting awkward again, being almost afraid to touch Davey.

“I don’t really like the energy of this,” Jack whispered to you. “Race is acting like he hates touching Davey.”

You shrugged. “Maybe it’s just cause he’s new here.”

The two of you sat in silence for a little longer, and then you turned to face Jack. “How close are you and Race?”

Jack shrugged, not looking away from the stage. “Dunno. Why’re you asking?”

“Would it be weird if you had him over to the house?” you asked.

Jack turned to look at you. “Not really. Why?”

You ignored the question. “Could you have him over this weekend?”

“(Y/N), what is this about?” Jack asked. “Why the sudden interest in Race?”

You shrugged. “No reason.”

He quirked an eyebrow.

“He’s been avoiding me, ok?!” you exploded. Two girls in the front row looked back at you, and you smiled sheepishly in apology before turning back to Jack. “I haven’t seen him in rehearsals, and you’ve seen how awkward that is, and he’s not been in my dreams-”

“Dreams?” Jack cut you off. “What do-?” A look of recognition dawned on his face. “Race is your soulmate!” he said. The two girls turned to look at you again.

“SHHH!” you put a hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it too loudly!”

Jack smirked at you, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Sure, I’ll have Race over after school Friday. Pop by any time.”

“Thanks, Jack,” you said, bumping his shoulder with your head.

Friday at exactly 4:12pm, you stood on the porch of Jack’s house. You psyched yourself up before ringing the doorbell.

“Who’s that?” Race’s muffled voice asked.

“Dunno,” Jack replied. “Can you go check that?”

Race started grumbling, but you heard his footsteps stalking towards the door. The doorknob twisted. Suddenly the door was opened and Race’s blue eyes met your own.

His eyes grew large in surprised before he let out a quick “NOPE!” and shut the door in your face.

You immediately began to knock on the door. “RACETRACK! YOU LET ME IN RIGHT NOW!”

“NO!” he shouted back.

“WE NEED TO TALK,” you shouted, still pounding. “YOU CAN’T IGNORE THIS FOREVER!”

“WATCH ME,” he replied.

“JACK,” you called, “TELL HIM TO LET ME IN!”

“LET HER IN, RACER!” he said.

Slowly the door opened until you could see Race again.

“Hello,” you said.

He merely stepped back so you could walk through the door.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Jack said, plopping onto the couch with a bowl of popcorn. “What brings you here?”

“Nothin’ much,” you responded. “Hey, didn’t Ms. Medda say she needed you to do something this afternoon?” You hoped he’d get the message.

It seemed he didn’t, as his forehead creased in confusion. “Umm, I don’t think so?”

“Yeah, she wanted you to get something from the store,” you said in a harder tone. You flicked your head to the doorway as if to say, get out.

Understanding blossomed on his face. “Oh! Right! That thing! Hey, Racer, I gotta go get something for Medda, be a dear and entertain (Y/N) ‘til I get back, won’t you?” He stood, passed Race the popcorn and then walked out the door.

“Wait, Jack, I-”

“Use protection!” Jack shouted, the door slamming after him.

Race looked at the door, then down to the popcorn, then back to you. He sat down on the couch and curled up onto his side. “What do you want?” he hissed.

“To talk to you!” You plopped on a chair across from him. “What’s wrong, Race?”

He mumbled something into the couch cushion.

“What?” you asked.

“I said, ‘why don’t you tell me?’” he exploded, sitting up and facing you.

You were a little taken aback by the sudden fury. “I don’t know what’s wrong, Race! That’s why I came to talk to you!”

He rolled his eyes. “Nothing’s wrong with me.” He turned back into the couch.

“Yeah, that’s true,” you scoffed. “You’ve been avoiding me for two weeks! You haven’t said a word to me outside of rehearsal, and heaven knows those are stilted and awkward, and you haven’t been sleeping either!” you said, your voice definitely louder than normal. “I don’t understand, Race, did I do something?”

Race was silent.

You ran your hand through your hair as you stood and began pacing. “I thought I’d be happy when I met my soulmate! Not feeling like I did something wrong.”

“You and me both,” Race muttered angrily.

You stopped and stared at him. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” he muttered.

“RACE!”

Race stood up and marched until he was a few inches away from you. “Why don’t you go ask Davey, huh?!”

“Davey?” you asked incredulously. “What does Davey have to do with anything?”

“Well, he’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?!”

Your eyebrows drew up in confusion. “No.”

Race looked at you. “No?”

“No,” you replied.

“But, but,” he stuttered. “The day of auditions! He said he loved you and you said something about a relationship and then you two cuddled up to each other!”

You stared at Race. “He meant as friends. He’s dating a girl named Rose that's from Alabama. They met over the internet.”

All the anger flooded from Race’s expression. “Oh.”

You placed a hand on his arm. “Have you not noticed how overly affectionate our friend group is?” you asked honestly. “We call each other babe all the time, Crutchie and Katherine are constantly sitting in someone's lap, and Spot smacked Blink’s ass just the other week!”

He smiled sheepishly. “So you're not dating anyone?”

You shook your head no. “I was waiting on you to come along.”

He smiled at you, and you smiled back. Finally, you were in each other’s arms.

When the two of you walked hand and hand into rehearsals on Monday there was a lot of wolf-whistles, especially from Jack. Race laughed as you flipped them off.

Charity sighed loudly. “Finally, you two got your mess together! Maybe now we can have some Jack and Katherine action that actually makes me think they're in love!”

Everyone laughed as you moved to your seats in the auditorium. Charity called for the Davey, Les and Jack scene, and unfortunately your wonderful boyfriend was taken from your arms.

Jack put a hand over his eyes. “Hey, where's Spot? I can't see him, ain't he the one playing Les?”

“Screw you, Kelly,” he muttered. “I'll strangle you.”

Jack smirked down at Spot. “I don't think you're tall enough.”

Race placed a hand on Jack's shoulder. “Jack?”

“Hmm?”

“Run.”

Jack turned to see Spot angrily stalking up the stairs towards him. He let out a soft “oh shit” before leaping from the stage and running out the back of the auditorium.

Charity looked at Spot. “Go find him and tell him you won't beat him up and that he needs to be in here.”

Spot nodded before leaping from the stage as well. “BABE! COME BACK! I GOTTA KICK YOUR ASS!”

Charity rolled her eyes. “(Y/N), come up here, we’ll do the scene right before Something to Believe In while they solve their differences.”

You nodded and climbed the stage, scampering onto the railing that represented Jack’s penthouse.

“Start point?” Race called.

“Umm, If you were a boy you'd be talking with a fist in your mouth.”

Race glared at you. You glared back. “If you were a boy, you'd be talking with a fist in your mouth!”

You stalked up to him ‘til your noses were practically touching. “And if I were a boy you'd be looking at me through one swolen eye!”

Race grabbed your fist, jamming it under his chin. “Oh yeah? Well don't let that stop you, eh?! Give it your best shot!”

You froze for a second before grabbing his cheeks and pressing your lips together. You sagged into the kiss as Race's arms circled around your waist tenderly. He moved his lips against yours and you hurriedly returned the favour.

His arms tightened and you gasped a little. He used this to his advantage, pressing his tongue against yours. You gasped again, one hand knocking off his hat as it threaded through his sandy locks.

You became vaguely aware of cheers and whistles as the two of you broke apart.

“Wow,” you whispered, arms loose around his shoulders.

“Wow,” he agreed.

“WOO BOY, GETCHA SOME!” Jack yelled.

You both turned bright red and looked down at your friends and castmates, who were all in various states of cheering.

“Not bad for a first kiss, eh?” Race whispered into your ear.

“Not bad at all,” you agreed.

#word count 2733 #newsies #newsies live #racetrack higgins #x reader #race x reader #race higgins #jack kelly #davey jacobs #katherine plumber #sarah jacobs #spot conlon #also known as: race is an idiot #also could be: the one where they're in newsies but nobody plays themselves

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daveyjacobss · 7 years ago

Text

fall ball | racetrack higgins

inktober day six

reader x racetrack higgins

[newsies modern day au]

summary: Y/N’s totally not in love with her best friend’s brother. Definitely not. (Okay, maybe a little.)

a/n: this is eh??? like idk i literally don’t actually have an opinion on this. hope y’all enjoy, though. tomorrow’s inktober will be posted earlier bc i’ll have people at my house later in the day, so look out for that :)

__________

Y/N was sat at her friend Sofia's kitchen table as they worked on ideas for decorating the school for gym for the Fall Ball, as they were co presidents of the committee. Occasionally, they would get distracted talking about Halloween costumes or where they could go shopping for dresses for the dance, but they had papers upon papers laid out on the table with sketches, budgets, and lists of items and ideas.

"I think if we set up the pumpkins and hay bales towards the stage it'll be more out of the way of the crowds," Y/N pointed out. Sofia nodded along, scribbling something down in her notebook. The sound of the front door opening and closing interrupted their temporary silence and Y/N tensed slightly. She'd almost forgotten the warning Sofia had given her about her brother probably coming home with a few of his friends while they were working. She listened as their footsteps and voices grew louder, getting closer to the kitchen were they sat. She leaned over a paper, adding random lines to one of the sketches to give herself something to do so she didn't have to look at them when they inevitably walked in. Sofia's brother was too much of a distraction. Y/N got tongue tied whenever she was around him, unable to focus or compose herself in her usual, confident manner. She caught Sofia smirking in the corner of her eye, elbowing her friend, who then laughed loudly. Sofia was well aware of her best friend's crush on her brother.

"What's so funny?" Race asked, entering the kitchen with Albert and Jack following behind him. Y/N's face flushed a light shade of pink as she grabbed a random list and began to read through it, checking random items off. Sofia stopped laughing, though still snickered a bit when she saw Y/N hunched over their papers and avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"Your face," Sofia retorted, sticking her tongue out at her brother. His friends chuckled as he rolled his eyes.

"You guys working on the Fall Ball stuff?" Albert asked, pulling out a chair and spinning it around so that he was sitting on it backwards. It was Y/N's turn to snicker as Sofia blushed slightly.

"Yeah," she answered, biting her lip. "We're trying to figure out all the budgets and decorations and stuff." Albert nodded, sparing the Higgins girl a small smile. Sofia wouldn't believe her if Y/N told her that Albert only ever smiled at her like that, but it was true.

"Oh, Jack!" Y/N turned to Jack, seemingly forgetting her nerves as she remembered she had meant to ask him something. "We decided on the mural at our last meeting - you said you'd paint it, right?" Jack smiled kindly at her.

"Yeah, sure," he answered. "If it's a lot I might have to get some help, but it should be fine." Y/N smiled gratefully at him, quickly writing something down on a lined piece of paper that was filled with nearly illegible notes.

"We're headed down to the basement," Race said as he moved toward the basement door. Sofia nodded in acknowledgement as the three boys went down the stairs. It was quiet in their absence, but only a few seconds.

"You'd think after all these years you'd be better at talking to him," Sofia laughed, leaning back in her chair as she smiled at her friend. "I ought to just tell him you like him," she teased.

"You wouldn't" Y/N stated matter-of-fact-ly.

"Yes I would," Sofia challenged.

"No, you wouldn't. Because if you did I would tell Albert that you've had a crush on him since sixth grade." Sofia's eyes widened as Y/N smiled tauntingly. Eventually, they returned to their work, choosing to call a truce.

_________

It was a little while later when Race came back up the stairs, telling the girls they were going to order a pizza and asking if they wanted anything. They declined, having already eaten.

"I'm going to show Jack the idea for the painting while you're up here," Sofia stood up. Race simply waved her off as he spoke on the phone. When the basement door closed behind Sofia, Y/N realized with a start that she was along with a Race - a situation that sounded much nicer than it always ended up being. Once he ended the call she expected him to go back down to join his friends, but instead he sat next to her where Sofia had been just a minute before.

"So they just put you guys in charge of everything?" He asked leaning on the table as he watched her draw one o their ideas for the layouts of the decorations. She hummed in response, nodding slightly. It took all her willpower not to look at his gorgeously blue eyes. "When's the ball, again?"

"October 14th," she responded, finally putting her pencil down and facing him. She had to take a second to catch her breath once she looked at his face, taking in his kind eyes and gentle smile. It was as if he could tell she was nervous, and he was trying to calm her down. "Tickets go on sale on Monday," she blurted out. "Are you planning on going?" She knew that he and his friends didn't always attend the school dances, but she couldn't help but hope he would go to this one, considering all the work she was putting into it.

"I was thinking about it," he answered. He glanced at the piles of papers, his tongue darting out of his mouth and running over his lips. She almost melted.

"That's good, I think Sofia would like it if you came and saw everything we're working on." The faint blush on her cheeks returned as she spoke.

"Especially if I brought Albert with me, right?" He grinned. She couldn't help but laugh, nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, she'd probably love that." The conversation lapsed and they fell into a semi awkward silence before Race broke it.

"Would you want me to come?" He asked suddenly, carefully gauging her reaction. She looked at him, surprised.

"Oh, I mean - it'd be cool if you came, I guess, to see everything, ya know?" Inside her head, she swore at herself for being so weird. Race simply nodded, smiling at her. She looked away with a red face, praying for Sofia to return from her trip to the basement.

"Do you have date?" If she had been drinking water, she would have spit it out.

"No," she choked out, her face turning a shade of red she hadn't even known was possible.

"Do you want one?" He was smirking as he watched her open and close her mouth rapidly.

"Excuse me?" She stared at him with wide eyes, her cheeks as warm as they could be.

"Sorry, I should probably clarify: would you like to be my date?" She gaped at him. Race - gorgeous, unbelievably attractive, insanely nice and funny Race , Sofia's brother Race - was asking her to the Fall Ball? "Well?"

"Yes," she finally whispered. "Yes, I'd love to." Race beamed.

"Great," he responded. He leaned in and kissed her cheek before standing up with a childish, giddy smile, heading for the basement. "October 14th, then. I'll pick yo u up?" He asked before he opened the door. She nodded numbly and he just kept smiling as he descended into the basement.

"What're you so happy about?" Sofia's voice drifted into the kitchen. Y/N couldn't hear Race's reply but, then again, she didn't really need to. When Sofia reentered the kitchen she laughed at Y/N's red face and wide eyes. "What'd he do? Try to talk to you?" She snickered.

"He asked to be his date to the Fall Ball," Y/N responded. Sofia's jaw dropped.

"He what?" She grinned, punching the air in victory. "Oh my god, Jack totally owes me money. Come on!" Sofia grabbed her arm and Y/N let herself be dragged down into the basement, where Sofia demanded twenty dollars from Jack, who tried to bargain that his payment could be painting the mural fro the dance. Y/N simply watched with a smile, laughing occasionally. Each time she met Race's eyes she could feel her face flush and her heart speed up.

When he showed up at her door in a button up and a tie on October 14th, she smiled brightly. When he held her hand during the car ride, she beamed. When they danced the night away with Albert and Sofia (who had been talked into asking Albert by Y/N), she was practically radiating happiness.

__________

tag list:

@isarants @tomanybandstolove @seriously-ceci @tommyboyneedshercoffee-blog @bens-platt @ohblue @sorryyouroutofmyleague @tumblogbykarapaloma @earlyjunes @broadway-trashh @interwebseriesfan24 @whatacatchdxnnie @returnoftheborle @cozykleinman @timesarehardfornewsies @jackclyde @last-an-eon @annabethgranger123 @musi-xals @notyouraveragegryffindoor @magic-made-by-melody @i-also-miss-our-talks @linfuckingmirandaaa @shatteringinprogress @storytellersun @psych-stereo @books-cats-sprinkles @me-andthe-sky @connor-is-my-sunshine @merediths2003 @graaace123 @larryisinfactnotstraight @casifer-is-cute @gem-evieve

(ask to be added to my october tag list or any tag list !!)

#race x reader #racetrack higgins x reader #racetrack higgins #newsies #newsies x reader #amber can kinda write #inktober #october writing day six #jack kelly #albert dasilva #broadway imagine #newsies imagine #race imagine #racetrack higgins imagine #race higgins x reader #race higgins #race higgins imagine #this is alright i guess #i'm kind of indifferent about it

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etherealrj · 7 years ago

Text

same game - reddie

pairing : reddie

words : 2K

warnings : none

MASTERLIST

request here

five times richie flirted with eddie and the one time he didn't

A/N I've never written one of these before so I hope its okay anon! it's four am rn but i was so determined to finish this but then tumblr wiped it and i almost cried. i wasn't gonna post it now but my last request did super well so i'll treat ya'll.

i legit googled how to flirt with someone bc i have never. So I legit googled how did people flirt in the 90's and then this happened :') I'm so sorry in advance, I got so carried away with this my god. Imagine if Pennywise never happened and Ben, Bev and Mike were losers from the beginning.

Eddie had always known Richie to a big flirt. He was his best friend so it was granted that Richie was to flirt with Eddie, so Eddie just put up with it. It started at the young of ten when the boys were sat side by side in their respected seats. That’s why in the middle of English class when Richie leant over to doodle a love heart on the corner of Eddie’s book with their initials ‘RT + EK = Forever,’ written within, he thought nothing of it. Everywhere you went throughout the school, Richie would have marked his territory by writing some obscure devotion of love for Eddie. Whether it was their initials in a heart, ‘Richie ♡ ‘s Eddie’ or Eddie Tozier, there were signs written everywhere. From classrooms, to bathroom stalls, to random wooden chairs that lingered around the school’s perimeter. Eddie knew Richie had a book covered in variations of their names etched upon every single piece of paper, he also knew the Richie’s parents weren’t too fond about it. But Eddie never understood why.

They were at the school disco, at the age of twelve, all the losers rocked up in hopes of having a nice time. In other words, they were forced by their parents. But Mike did end up tagging along so they were all happy about that. It wasn’t any surprise that the seven misfits sat in the back of the gym, all sitting around a circular table in their own conversations completely oblivious to the rest of their peers. Eddie sat with Richie to his right, Stan to his left. He was in a deep conversation about the new Captain America comic book when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He glanced at Richie’s out stretched hand to see a small red bottle of Panda Pop sitting in his palm. Richie had a wide grin permanently stuck to his face. Eddie glanced at the drink before looking back up to Richie. He looked around the circular table at the lack of drinks in any of the other loser’s hands. “Richie.” Eddie said, gazing locking with the taller boys. “You forgot about everyone else!” He exclaimed. “This is just like you.” Eddie shook his head, standing and brushing shoulders with Richie as he headed in the direction of the rectangular table filled with beverages. All the other losers glanced up at Richie, with amusement behind their eyes. Richie sent them a glare and fell back into his chair.

III

When the boys reached the age of fourteen, Richie’s charade continued and Eddie saw no end to the plague of Richie Tozier. After a long, exhausted filled day of school Eddie just wanted to leave the prison that they were supposed to call a haven. Ducking around the back of the school to meet the loser at the bike racks, hopefully avoiding Henry Bowers and his goonies at the same time. Heavy footsteps echoed his ears and a slow cringe made its way onto Eddie’s face. He froze in his place, bracing himself for the first round of physical abuse he was about to endure. But nothing ever came.

“Hey Ed’s!” Eddie felt an arm wrap around his shoulder, which caused the poor boy to let out a sigh, his body coming down from the fright. He really wasn’t in the mood to get beat up right now.

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie mumbled under his breath and began walking again. Richie hummed in response, tightening his grip around Eddie’s neck.

“Do you have a band-aid- “

“You know I do Richie why.” Eddie’s patience was running low with the boy. There was only so long you could handle being around Richie ‘trashmouth’ Tozier.

“Because I just scraped my knee falling for you. “Eddie rolled his eyes before shrugging off Richie’s arm and began to walk away from the boy in a huff.

“Eddie my boy, don’t be like that!” Richie said in one of his completely ridiculous accents that Eddie could only describe as the, ‘shitty British John Cleese.’ Richie jogged lightly to catch up with the shorter boy. “You know I love you! Almost as much as your fat Mom!”

At the age of fifteen was when Richie had really began listening to music. His home life was rough, that Eddie knew and the only way Richie seemed to deal with it was listening to his music. Eddie never seemed to see the appeal. That’s way when Richie Tozier snuck into his bedroom window at two am with a mixtape, Richie’s chicken scratch hand writing over the top, reading the words ‘Eddie Spaghetti’ a messy love heart was added after his name and a doodle of roses sat beside it. Eddie didn’t know what to think.

Richie hadn’t even stayed long enough to make sure Eddie would listen to it, but he did and Richie knew he would. Eddie opened the plastic container, a folded piece of film fell out from on top of the cassette tape and landed within his lap. Picking the white film up he unfolded the picture and was greeted with his own laughing face starring back at him. He was sat on top of Richie’s shoulders, the photo he remembers being taken only a week earlier after school.

He remembers the day clearly, he had fought Richie and told him to leave him alone because there was no way in hell, he was willingly getting on top of the 5”7 boys shoulders without a fight. But there he sat, legs hanging over Richie’s shoulders Richie’s hands holding tightly on Eddie’s own. As both boys smiled happily, hand in hand.

Eddie admired the wide smile on Richie’s face, the pure joy that seemed to radiate from the photo brought a small smile to his own. Brushing his finger lightly over Richie’s face, just appreciating the loud boy. With a sigh, Eddie flipped over the film to read the small words written on the back, “love is like syphilis, it makes you crazy, eventually leading to death.” [X] Eddie rolls his eyes at Richie poor attempt of humour but he was humoured at the very least.

Leaning over to the stereo on his shelf, he turned the volume to the minimum as to not wake his mother, the first song started to play. The tune of the song made his eyes roll before the words even started to play. He laid back onto his bed, arm behind his head, the words filled his ears, a small smile on his face.

“Oh, I can't fight this feeling any longer,

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow

What started out this friendship has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show,” [X]

A year later the losers were standing at the counter of the Aladdin. Richie’s arm in its forever permanent spot around Eddie’s back. The smaller boy subconsciously leant into his side. Eddie wonder if Richie ever regrets how much he flirts with the younger boy, Eddie thought he surely would be stopping any girls from getting to Richie. But Richie didn’t seem to care. “Hey Babe?” Richie questioned.

Eddie hummed in response, too use to the pet names that Richie’s given him over the years for it to matter. Richie had grown a whole lot in a year, he had to be nearing 6” foot by now. Eddie was not at all jealous over the fact he was still barely reaching 5”5, still the shortest of all the Loser’s, Bev included. Eddie felt Richie shift behind him, head resting on top of his own, arms around Eddie’s waist. “Did you want any popcorn?” Richie could be extremely clinging when he wasn’t in your face obnoxiously joking about sleeping with his mom. Richie didn’t seem like he was in the happiest moods today, all the Loser’s would agree, so Eddie went with the flow and gave him the attention he thought the older boy needed.

“Don’t worry about it Rich, I’ll pay for the popcorn. You got us the tickets.” Eddie said with a light tap of his hands-on Richie’s own.

“It was my idea to come see the movie Ed’s, I’ll get the popcorn. “ Richie said, stepping away from the teenage boy. Eddie turned around to catch him before he left.

“Hey Richie?” Eddie questioned. Richie turned with hum in response. “Why do you never buy any of the others popcorn?” Richie eyes lifted slightly in surprise, a small smile playing on his face, he flicked his tongue out to swipe itself across his bottom lip. He stared over to where the rest of the loser’s stood, laughing loudly at something Stan had said. Richie’s face deadpanned.

“I’m trying to impress your Mom, Ed’s. “

+ I

All the Loser’s sat around a circle, it was March the seventh which means it was Richie’s seventeenth birthday. Buddy Holly [X] was playing lowly in the background. And Eddie was feeling nervous. The past few days Richie had seemed to distance himself from the boy and Eddie had wondered if it was something he did. Neither Bill or Bev had any idea on the matter which Eddie feel even worse about the situation. Eddie bit his lip as he passed the bottle half filled with amber coloured liquid around the circle. Richie seemed perfectly happy but Eddie felt out of place. Without the touches or the kind words or jokes about his Mom. Richie wasn’t Richie.

Moments later, the bottle was done and the group had dissipated. Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand and pulled him away from the main floor. “Ed’s?” Richie questioned. “Is everything okay?”

Richie eye’s squinted to look into Eddie’s own. “I-Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Richie turned his head to the side seemingly confused. Eddie opened his mouth before closing it. “I-Yo-We-Bu-,” Eddie stared at Richie in exasperation.

“Damn Bill, calm down a bit would ya?.” Eddie stare turned quickly into a disappointed glare. Richie held his hands up in defence.

Eddie crossed his arms over his chest, looking up at the taller boy through his dark brown curls. Eddie let out a huff, “Why don’t you treat me like you use to.” Eddie looked at the ground, suddenly more interested in his stark white converse than the conversation.

Richie cracked smile. “Finally.” He muttered. “I was waiting to see how long it would take for you to miss me.”

Eddie tilted his head in utter disbelief as he watched Richie face etched with a cheeky smile. Eddie shook his head and in one quick moment his small moisturized hands were upon Richie’s cheeks, he stood on his tippy toes and placed his soft pink lips against Richie’s chapped ones with an impatient desire. Eddie felt Richie gasped in surprise as he lips moved against Richie’s own. Eddie was yet to pull away when he felt Richie began applying the same amount of force or maybe even more back. Eddie noted that Richie tasted like tobacco and cheap whiskey, but the boy couldn’t get enough. Richie’s hands trailed down to Eddie’s hips, gripping the edge of the small boys lightly coloured shirt.

As he pulled away, the feeling of Richie’s lips lingered against his own, Eddie brought a hand to his lips touching them with his fingertips as a smile spread across his face. He rested back on the balls of his feet before looking up to meet Richie’s gaze.

Richie’s mouth laid ajar, eyes widen in feign surprise. “Was that you trying to flirt with me Eddie Kaspbrak?”

A/N this did not turn out what I was hoping but eh, still cute ish

if you wanna be in the reddie tag list lemme know!

taglist : @colinmorgay @its-ya-girl-mercy @tastes-like-cherry-coke @netzoflix @bitch-its-youknowwho @prkrptr @ladycataztrophe @whoisjjacob @eddies-inhaler @stenbroughh @eddierichietozier @scienceyyy @randvmfandoms

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edwardamcullen · 7 years ago

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What are your favorite scenes from the books (the bit we have of midnight sun is included too)?

I want you to know that I made these gifs just now specifically because I feel like Kellan captured my reaction perfectly rather than me going “OHHH my god...... okay”.

OKAY.... YOU READY? i’m not i’m scared.LONG POST

Twilight

BLOOD TYPE every time Edward puts Mike in his place....thanks @god

B/E’s general banter. the entire time. the whole thing. it all.

Port Angeles. After he’s saved her, their conversation where everything happens. “Shall we call you Jane?” “How did you know?” idk...

The entire mind over matter chapter. “isn’t it supposed to be like this? the glory of first love and all that?”... just their entire first night. it’s so pure. they’re both just so happy to be with each other and to be feeling these emotions for the first time and together :’D

Meeting the Cullens :D i think there’s nothing like reading Jessica’s description of them for the first time but it’s more :D! when Bella herself meets them at their home

Charlie being Charlie. “You said you didn’t like any of the boys in town.” “Edward doesn’t live in town.” and all his fucking Edwin and Edmunds aklsdjlakjas

bELLA BEING BOO BOO THE FOOL AND REALLY THINKING TURNING INTO A VAMPIRE WAS SOME SORT OF BLACK TIE EVENT...ME. also can i include the entire prom outtake ...it was so nice :D jsut her spending time with the cullens :D AND EDWARD SPENDING ALL DAY AT HER HOUSE WITH CHARLIE AS A TASTE TESTER.... :D :D :D :D :D

honestly... with twilight I felt so much like Bella when she was scared to blink and all of it go away...because Bella was us like we were introduced to a whole new world. and the entire time we learned with bella what vampires were and like carlisle’s story for example like IT WAS ALL SO NEW AND NICE AND THERE WERE SO MUCH FIRSTS.... i love

New Moon

BELLA AND EDWARD IN BELLA’S LIVING ROOM WHILE BELLA CRIES TO ROMEO AND JULIET AND EDWARD IS JUST WATCHING HER PLAYING WITH HER HAIR OR RECITING THE LINES. i have this thing planned out in my head where one day if the world decides to give me a bf i will have an edward who will sit through a twilight movie with me and he won’t give a shit that i love it so much and just play with MY hair. yo fuck stephenie for making me have these thoughts

Dumbo Edward going on his Mike Newton rant and his maybe they couldn’t find you a bandage crap. “I’d rather die than be with Mike Newton” ME.

... i just got sad bc i thought of sad bella. this isn’t a favorite moment i just thought i’d update you on my thought process.

just any time edward hallucinations happened i felt...idk...relieved lmao like i was mad at him for leaving but i missed him too

“so you’re the vampire girl” “yes and you’re the wolf girl” and just meeting the pack in general. bella’s right there is a warmth to them they’re such happy lil chums

LOOK BELLA FINDING A BLACK MERCEDES AND THINKING IT WAS CARLISLE AND GOING BACK AND FINDING THAT IT WAS ALICE. IT WAS SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR. I WAS LIKE... LIKE...ASLDJAJ I WAS SO HAPPY TO HAVE SOMEONE BACK.

...AGAIN...MEETING PEOPLE FOR THE FIRST TIME...it was so COOL reading about being in Italy and putting yourself through the rooms and hallways and picturing your own Aro and Caius and Marcus and Jane and Felix and Demitri et cet er a

the night bella wakes up after italy. where she thinks she’s dreaming and doesnt believe her. and how PURE my little baby was when she had her epiphany “oh!” “Bella?” “Oh okay I see.” “Your epiphany?” “You love me :D” “Truly I do” TRULY I DO... TRULY I DO A.DSAJA T RUL Y I D O!!!!!

the vote. i would die for every cullen family interaction ever.

Eclipse

honestly there’s something about the triangle aspect of all this that put me on such an edge like i loved those moments because truly i live for the drama but i also hated them they made me so nervous they made me hate jacob and i...idk. idk friend. i love e/b is all i’m saying.

I.... okay. okay. so. I’m not going in order this time but AGAIN...MEETING NEW PEOPLE (not really just discovering more about them) like. rosalie’s story. jasper’s story. the la push legends. i love.i love i love i love.

MOTORYCLE.....JACKET....MOTORCYCLE...HELMET......”that bad huh?” “no no bella. actually you look....sexy” GAHHHHHH. okay okay.

Strawberry blonde, not at all my type.

bella and edward’s notes in class where edward comes up with ways to save her in a plane crash. this fucking dude

“sounds about right pup.” that’s it. that’s the only part bc the rest made me mad. and also just seeing him actually fight for her and defend his side was nice compared to him just silently brooding and being mopey.

Bella wanting sex then crying bc she felt rejected then Edward reassuring her that oBVIOUSLY he wants to fuck her too he’s just not ready

their engagement night.

the tent. i mean it was nice seeing jacob and edward talk tbh it was cOOL.

bella going all out and being the third wife

i feel like every time the volturi shows up the entire world intensifies and it’s just...cool. i want jane to murder me.

B/E reciting Cathy and Heathcliff to each other. :D

Breaking Dawn

*Makes Tina Belcher’s uhhhhhhhh noise*

charlie finding out they’re engaged

THE WEDDING :D THE WEDDING THE WEDDING THE WEDDING :D but you know why the FUCK did jacob have to... ruin it....thrashing her around like a rag doll. *meryl streep meme pic* let bella die for the vamp dick!

bella crying because she had a dream she was fucking edward and then waking up because it wasn’t real is so ME.

you know jacob’s chapter titles and just being in his POV was kinda fun bc he’s a funny guy

his little side comment about all the cullens probably wanting to rip the blood cup from her. and just edwards reactions to his thoughts. oh his and rosalie’s arguments, fido

vampire bella being so happy and feeling so...her....nice. i’m so proud of her my angel my love queen of everything she deserves the entire WORLD.

edward dad moments. the way bella described edward when he spoke about renesmee.

bella x emmett sex arguments. just bella being a cullen and us seeing more of them because of that.

MEETING EVERYONEEEEEE. i swear to god i flipped back and forth between the vampire index and the chapters so much AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I WAS HAVING THE TIME OF MY FUCKING LIFE.

i would die for the denalis. and for a kate x garrett spinoff

vanessa wolfe and jacob wolfe. bella swan: queen of comedy

the entire battle scene had me so edge i was probably itchy the first time i read i waslike how the FUCK is this bitch SM gonna get us out of here? alive and well?

Edward asking Alice to join her saved my life. every time alice comes back i gain like five years of life. i missed her.

THIS WAS ABOUT MY ACTING SKILLS?

bella giving edward a piece of her mind. ha that sounds like they fought. no i’m just talking about bella letting edward in and sharing their memories :D

Midnight Sun

Looking at my url you may or may not be able to tell who my favorite character is. ahahhaha. this is probably my favorite book ngl

HE’S MY FAVORITE BOY AND JUST SEEING HIM GOING THROUGH EMOTIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME...HOW PURE...THIS FUCKING FOOL didn’t know what jealousy was

that vile mike newton

him getting emmett to help him get angela and ben together :D melissa and i are gonna fight for just completely ignoring ben cheney’s presence

just seeing the way he interacted with his family through his mindreading

emmett thinking rosalie was an angel and carlisle was god

I’m going to love her someday JAzz. I will be very put out with you if you don’t let her be.

edward’s reaction to finding he’s in love with Bella through alice. THIS ALSDJKAKLSDJKA FUCKING FOOL..... I LOVE HIM I WOULD DIE FOR HIM MY POOR BABY HE WAS SO SCARED LIKE...BTCH?? I LOVE HER? I ? LOVE? ME ? EDWARD CULLEN? LOVE???? L O V E? QUE?

any time you could draw parallels to how differently edward and bella reacted to their conversations on their own perspectives. it was nice.

i love him so much.

i love this half-book so much because I JUST LOVE SEEING THE CULLENS INTERACT AND BE WITH EACH OTHER

ESME.......ALICE.....EDWARD....PIANO. CHOPSTICKS. ESME’S SONG. BELLA’S LULLABY BEING BORN.

ROSALIE.....EDWARD....PIANO.....EDWARD LAUGHING AT HER BC SHE GOT MAD THAT EDWARD WAS....FEELING FEELINGS NOW

my pure happy baby. i am SO esme that entire half-book just happy to see him feeling love and being happy i wanna cry

mood: waiting for midnight sun

and uhhhhhhh that’s all folks. it took me an hour to get through this. i don’t regret it it was time well spent. i’m sure i missed a lot. just know i would die for these characters and this series.

#.........did i just type all this out #yes i did #Anonymous

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theasstour · 8 years ago

Text

Please Don’t Say You Love Me , Chapter 24

a/n: yo brothers whats up long time no see tf. ANYWAY my ugly ass bitch of a laptop wont let me send emails or upload images to tumblr so here i am posting a boring ass post without images for this chapter hope it wont be a party pooper

13 June 2015 : breakfast at alice’s (scrambled eggs with smoked salmon)

“We have tried to find out where mum is,” Alice told me when I was at our flat the next morning making breakfast; scrambled eggs with smoked salmon. She sat by the kitchen island with a cup of coffee in her hands, looking at me through her glasses that slid further and further down her nose. “Without any luck, though.”

“Has she called again?” I asked while I began to scramble the eggs with a wooden spoon.

“No,” Alice sipped her coffee. “And Suzie is pissed at her. She doesn’t want to know shit about mum or why she isn’t interested in the three daughters she left behind.”

Being used to Alice’s cruel language and attitude towards mum, I let it slide. I continued on scrambling the eggs. “I’m sure she had her reasons.” I said, not really believing the words leaving my mouth myself.

“Daisy,” Alice said after a short while. “Mum left us. There is no reason to take her side in this. She isn’t here to kiss your cheek and give you chocolate for taking her side.”

“I’m not. I’m just saying that I’m sure she had a reason to leave other than not being in love with that anymore.” I explained while starting to stir in the chopped up salmon.

Alice nodded and the two of us remained silent for the little while until I served our breakfast. I gave her a plate with two toasted bread slices and the scrambled eggs and salmon, and a plate for myself, the butter between us if we wanted to have some on our toasts and orange juice in both of our glasses. We started eating in silence as well. It wasn’t an awkward one, but rather one that was necessary for Alice to understand what I had just told her. A part of me knew that she was processing it, and there wasn’t anything else I wanted her to do. Wanting my sisters to understand why I was looking at everything from a new angle, I decided to drop the little bomb on Alice then, when it was just the two of us.

“I’m going to visit dad tomorrow.”

Alice stopped eating her toast with scrambled eggs and looked over at me, disbelief in her eyes. “Seriously?”

“Yea, he hasn’t seen his daughters in such a long time and I was hoping you guys would tag along, but I know you won’t.” I sipped my orange juice.

“We won’t.” Alice confirmed. “It’s his own fault. He could have contacted us, come to visit, done something. He hasn’t and I don’t see why we should.”

I nodded. I could see that. I understood why they would feel that way, but having that kind of approach on this wouldn’t get us any further. Looking down at my plate, I said, “Alice, ever thought that there is a reason for his behaviour? Just like mum?”

“Of course, I’ve just never cared for it.” Alice truthfully admitted.

“I have and I want to find out why.”

Alice looked at me for a long while. Something in her eyes told me she almost didn’t believe me, like the person sitting in front of her was someone else than whom had left to work as a cook on tour a month earlier. Glancing back at her, I let our identical brown eyes lock and I let my look tell her how sincere I really was about this.

“What happened to you on tour?” Alice tried to hide her smile, but I could see hints of it. “You’ve grown, Dais.”

“I just want to find out what happened to our family.”

I mentioned that mum had called me quite a lot and Alice flipped, swearing and doing the dishes rather overdramatically. Failing to calm her down right away, I watched as she sat by the kitchen island, pushing her glasses up her nose and sipping her coffee. We talked for quite some time and Tiago came over after a little while. After Alice took her contacts on and sunglasses on instead, we all went to sit in the living room. I got to know Tiago and he got to know me, also then searching around the web for a look at 5 Seconds of Summer so he could see who I was working for. While Alice started talking about them and Tiago looked at pictured of them, I took a picture and posted it on my Instagram with the caption ‘Like strawberries and raspberries for a pavlova! J’.

Suzie came over with Travis and all five of us went out together. Since my sisters thought I deserved it, they wanted to buy some clothes for me, telling me I couldn’t keep walking around in the same clothes. I told them I didn’t need much and Suzie groaned at me, telling me that I needed to quit being so modest. So, I let them buy me some clothes, and the five of us spent quite some time together before I had to get back to the arena to make some dinner. I hugged all of them because this would be the last I’d see of any of them till 10th August, at Suzie and Travis’ wedding.

¤ ¤ ¤

I came walking into the parking lot behind the stadium after taking the Underground and almost getting lost. London may be my hometown, but I didn’t know every street or attraction. I hummed to myself and looked up at the sky through my heart-shaped sunglasses, pretty satisfied with how this day had turned out so far. Not only did I finally get to meet Tiago, I also had some new clothes and a pretty bomb idea for a breakfast dish in mind. I texted Miriam to find out where she and Sasha were, and got a reply pretty quick telling me that they had taken a tourist bus around London. Smiling, I told them to get a picture in front of Big Ben together. John had also texted me to tell me that everyone was going out to eat today, they had apparently rented a whole bar for the crew and everyone to have a blast. This meant that I had no real plans for the rest of the day, so I put my phone in the pocket of my skirt and started walking toward the crew bus.

That’s when I noticed Ashton walking out of the boys’ bus, his hazel eyes on me and somewhere deep within me lit a sweet scented candle. As he drew closer, it was like the sun shone brighter and someone softly plucked the most graceful, the loveliest melody on a harp. I hadn’t seen him since last night when he had drawn me and I had walked away from him when he wondered why I had stopped humming. I bit my lip as he came to a stop, his mouth hanging a bit open as he took me in. My oversized pink tee shirt that I had tucked into my white shirt with pockets, black converse and my hair in a ponytail with a braid. And I took him in; his black tank top, black jeans and blue flip flops.

“Where have you been all day?” Ashton asked, dragging a hand through his long, curly hair.

“I’ve been with my sisters.”

Ashton sighed, looking at something over my shoulder. “Jesus Christ, I’ve been trying to reach you all day.” He looked back at me, what he previously looked at not interesting anymore. “I’ve been calling.”

Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I noticed that Ashton had indeed been calling me; 5 times even, and even some texts asking me where I was. Smiling a little bit, I looked up at Ashton while putting my phone back in my skirt-pocket. “Why did you call, Ashton?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

My smile widened a little. “Here I am.”

“I wanted to tell you that you don’t have to be afraid of me, okay? You can talk to me about anything.”

I tried not to resemble the Cheshire Car, but when Ashton was showing the feeling side of himself, I couldn’t help myself. My inner grinning cat crawled out to sigh happily. “And you can talk to me if you want, but there is nothing to talk about-“

“-I know you started thinking about something yesterday when we sat outside. I know something made you think hard because you stopped humming… and it was really relaxing so, yes, I noticed.”

“You think my humming was relaxing?”

“Forget I said that and talk to me.” A there they were again, those eyes that held too much emotion for their own good; those shoulders that carried the weight of a thousand planets; those hands that held too many burdens for sanity. “Please.”

Could I tell him? Could I tell him that I was nervous for meeting my dad for the first time in a long while? Could I tell him that I needed to meet my mum and understand why she left me, my sisters and dad? Could I tell him the darkest secret that no one but my family knew about? Could I tell him how it was eating at me till this very day, that it was nights when I was still dreaming about it? Could I tell him that I wanted to contact Frederik and talk about it?

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t tell anyone. Telling someone would somehow make it come back into my life again – make it a new reality – and I didn’t want it to be a part of me. I didn’t want Ashton to know.

So I gave him a little smile, seeing as the one I had had plastered on my face a minute ago had vanished. Looking at him, I didn’t think he quite understood just how fast my heart started to race when he talked to me like that. I walked past him and towards the crew bus, my initial destination, feeling the turbulence within Ashton as I turned the corner of the bus, out of sight.

¤ ¤ ¤

As the whole crew made their way to the bar that had been rented for everyone in mini vans, I texted my dad to ask if I could come over the next day, the 14th. I put my phone down and looked out of the window of the van, watching as the roads and buildings of London rushed past. Though I didn’t like to admit it, I had kind of missed London.

The minivan came to a halt and everyone walked outside. The bar wasn’t big, but it was a classical English bar with dark lighting, a long wooden bar, a billiard table in the bar and low music playing over the speakers. It was practically packed and I could see Finn on top of the bar with a glass of beer in his hands, singing God Save the Queen at the top of his lungs. Spotting Miriam and Sasha, I walked over to them by the bar.

“How was your day?” I asked, smiling at both of them, knowing that it probably was amazing.

“She paid for everything.” Miriam said, pointing at Sasha. “She insisted on buying all of my clothes, make-up and food. What a gentlewoman.” Miriam beamed and leaned over to Sasha, kissing her straight on the mouth, not once not smiling from ear to ear.

“London is awesome, Daisy. I can’t wrap my head around why you’d want to leave.”

I only smiled at Sasha and started directing the conversation towards their day again. They told me how the tour guide had fallen down the stairs of the bus and passed out, so the bus had to stop and an American called for an ambulance. The tour guide was fine in the end and Sasha and Miriam didn’t leave until they were certain that she was. Then they went shopping in Oxford Street, both buying clothes and sitting at a café not too far away talking for two hours straight, completely forgetting about the concept of time. I was so invested in their retelling of their day that I didn’t notice Ashton entering the bar with the rest of the boys.

“Could I get a Coke, please? Thank you.”

I turned in my seat at the sound of his voice, my back now facing Miriam and Sasha who were giggling and whispering behind my back. Eyes locked and I felt like I had been captured, embraced with warmth. We glanced at each other until Ashton’s Coke came, which only took about 20 seconds.

“Thanks, man.” Ashton said before sipping it. When he put it down again, he looked at it before looking at me again. “How’s Alice and Suzie?” He asked casually, like he hadn’t tried to squeeze some information out of me some hours prior. “Suzie is getting married this August, right?”

He remembered. Smiling a little, I looked at the glass of water in my hands. “They’re great. Alice and her boyfriend, Tiago, are so cute. She’s learning Spanish so she can come home to him in Cuba. His family doesn’t talk English, so to communicate she needs to talk their language. She’s struggling, but Tiago isn’t far if she needs help, so…” I sighed a little, knowing that my sister was so very happy with that man. “And yes, Suzie is getting married this August.” I looked at him. “Her and Travis are very busy organising the whole thing, but even though she tries to make it seem like she’s stressed beyond belief, I know she’s secretly enjoying it more than she’s letting on.”

On later research, I found out that Say You Won’t Let Go – Luca Schreiner Remix by James Arthur was playing in the background when a small smile stretched out over Ashton’s lips. Colourful butterflies took flight in the pit of my stomach.

“Do you know what you’re wearing yet?”

“No, of course not.” I giggled a little. “It’s two months away still. Well, actually it’s 56 days.” Ashton let a chuckle escape his smiling mouth. “But then again, Suzie is choosing the dress for her bridesmaids, so she’ll probably be sending me a picture of it any day now.”

“You’re her bridesmaid?”

“Yea.” I nodded, proud of being it. “It will probably be purple or pink. She’s not sure yet, but those are my guesses.”

Ashton looked at his Coke again. “Will you bring a date?”

I was a little stunned by the question, but something in his posture, biting his lips and fingers gently stroking the foggy glass in his hands, had me smiling a little. He would be jealous if I did bring a date. “Oh, I’m not sure yet. I’m sure Calum is keen on tagging along.”

“I’m sure he is.” Ashton said, nodding. “But I – uh – think you should… you know, bring someone you’d really want to bring.” He looked at me then, his hazel eyes and secret desire to accompany me to the wedding being both the confusion and the adoration of my heart.

I didn’t know what to say, and before I even had a chance to think further about it, Finn interrupted everyone.

“Yo!” He called out. “Cut the music, I have an announcement to make!” He waved from atop the bar disk, the music stopping not at all soon after. “I just want to thank everyone for coming tonight, and especially thank you to the lads of 5SOS for giving everyone here jobs and payment so we all can live.” Laughter burst around the bar. “Anyway, I love you guys and I love alcohol, so let’s party!” Everyone started clapping and cheering while Finn signalled for the music to be turned on again, a little louder this time around. I looked back to Ashton and he was suddenly much closer, and this startled me a little, but quickly recovering, I glanced up into his eyes. Licking my lips a little, I bit down on it, being suddenly very nervous of being this close to him. Mirror Man – Alex Adair Remix by Ella Henderson started playing and it felt like it wasn’t enough air in the bar as our faces inched closer. Was he going to kiss me? My thoughts travelled back to what he had said to me in Liverpool.

Don’t ever say you love me, Daisy.

Pressing my lips together, I looked at my glass of water, needing to distract myself from Ashton and his breath mixing with mine. I drank the water before getting off the chair and walking over to where Calum and Luke were at the billiard table. I spent some time there, trying to forget what had happened. He couldn’t be both. He couldn’t want to kiss me one minute and then tell me not to fall in love with him the next. It didn’t work that way. Calum showed me how billiard worked and I watched everyone play with great interest. Even though I didn’t master it myself – and I had tried a few times – I found it very fascinating.

“You find everything fascinating.” Calum said, making Luke laugh and me giggle.

Where was the joy if you didn’t find things fascinating?

Sometime later, my dad finally texted me back, telling me that he was okay with me visiting tomorrow. A sigh of relief left my lips and I continued to watch them play billiard. Finn came over with beer about half-an-hour after that.

“Here comes your saviour!” He grinned, giving everyone around the billiard table a glass each. Luke took a huge gulp right away and Calum eyed me as Finn thrusted a glass in my hand as well. I stood there, dumfounded, not knowing what to do with the substance in my hand. Paralyzed, a flashback rolled through my mind…

“Dad,” I tried to take the beer glass out of his hands. “Dad, we need to go home. It’s late.”

Tears in his eyes and redness covering his face, dad looked my way. “You remind me too much of your mother, Daisy.” He had said, not at all saying it as a compliment. “Too much.” He echoed as a whisper.

I swallowed. “It’s a school’s night. I need to go home. Come on, daddy.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Dad shouted in my face, scaring me till I was blinking my eyes rapidly in fear of him hurting himself or somebody else. People were staring our way, whispering under their breaths abour dad’s behaviour.

“Hey,” Someone from behind me said. “I think that’s enough for tonight, yea?”

Looking over my shoulder, a tall, blonde haired boy stood there, probably around 18. Glancing down at me, his hazel eyes locked with mine and I inhaled.

“You all right?”

I nodded.

“Don’t talk to my daughter.” Dad said, looking at the boy as if he didn’t want him to be anywhere near this bar, or me for that matter.

“That’s for her to decide and you to sulk over. Get your arse back home or I will call the police. Got that?”

Dad spat something at him under his breath before he threw some pounds on the bar disk and then starting to walk out. “Come along, Daisy.”

I watched dad, but then looked up at the guy that had helped me. “Thank you.” I said, smiling a little his way. “He isn’t usually like… he isn’t normally like… that’s not him.”

“With some alcohol in their body, no one really is.” The boy sighed. “Be careful. And if he starts attacking you or anyone, call the police. He may be your father, but he is not to put his hands on anyone.”

Understanding the warning, I nodded.

“Oh,” he smiled a wry smile, showing off some slightly crooked teeth. He was really handsome for a girl like me that wasn’t used to anyone giving me a second glance. “I’m Frederik.”

“Daisy.”

“I know.”

“Daisy Eleanor!” Dad called from the door. “Come on! You rush me out and… and… you don’t c-come.” Dad started swaying then, and my heart raced. Not in a good way.

“Dad.”

He hit the floor.

“Dad!”

“I’ll take that.”

Looking up, I saw another set of hazel eyes, these a little lighter than those I had just seen in my mind. Ashton took the beer from my hand, his other hand on my lower back. Every of Ashton’s smallest actions and every word he had spoken to me today was like water colour on a canvas, unpredictable, yet beautiful and graceful. And then there was me, a puzzle no one dared to solve; the girl no one stopped to take a second glance at. But when Ashton laid his eyes on me, he made me think that he may be an angel and I may be the devil, but somehow we could make our own heaven together. Then again, I was scared beyond belief of the love I had for him. Because I knew it would ruin me. And I knew I would let it. So, instead of cracking my heart open like an egg against the bowl, I stepped away from him and towards Miriam and Sasha, still at the bar.

“I’ll be leaving.” I told them. “In case you wanted to know.” Giggling a little.

Miriam patted my cheek. “Get back safe, okay?”

“Always.”

I gave them both a hug each and then walked over to the door, opening it and walking out. Not even a second later, the bell into the bar ringed again.

“Daisy.”

I looked over my shoulder at Ashton jogging after me.

“Heading back?”

“Yea.”

“I’ll join you.”

The first part of the walk was silent. Neither of us really needed to say anything. The quiet pace of London and the far away honking was enough to keep us company, and I was okay with that. I bit down on my lip and tried to forget what I had remembered in the bar. Easier said than done. Frederik had quite suddenly appeared and he was easier to remember than forget.

“What’s on your mind?” Ashton pushed on, his hands in his jean pockets and his eyes on me.

The past.

“I’ll be visiting my dad tomorrow.” I admitted. “I need to see him to make sure he’s okay.”

Ashton licked his lips a little. “Are you nervous about that? Meeting your dad, I mean?”

I nodded. “Of course.” I said. “But I’m looking forward to it as well. There are a lot of things I want to talk about. We haven’t seen each other in such a long time and…” I sighed. “Well, I just need to see my father.”

“I can see that one.” Ashton admitted.

“He lives in the same house my sisters and I were raised in still. Not that I would have expected him to leave.” Some drunk people sang as they passed is and a motorcycle roared away in the distance. “But it will be good to see it. I remember the garden. Mum would always sit out there, making it look prettier and more expensive than what the house and garden really was.”

I remember watching mum make the flower beds and cut the hedges. She loved being a gardener almost as much as I loved being a cook. As much as I disliked to admit it, my humongous passion for food and big heart for the cooking business, I had that from my mother. She had a passion for gardening no other and her heart was nowhere else than with her little gardening business.

We didn’t talk more than that. Neither of us felt obligated to and no one felt like it. Comfortable silence settled upon us as the night sky surrounded us and London. Somewhere not too far away, someone burst out laughing and from an open bar-door floated live jazz music out into the streets. Stone buildings enveloped us on both sides, and in the street in front of us were old tree houses on each corner, both supporting old English coffee shops that had closed for the day. The spirit of London floated through the damp air; circling around the 12 million living her and soaking us up in real British spirits. I had missed that; walking around in London and feeling almost overwhelmed with how welcome I felt.

It didn’t take us too long to reach Wembley Arena, and once we were there, we only exchanged a glance before going in separate directions. Once on the crew bus, I got ready for bed and then sat down with Angel by my side and Miriam’s laptop in my lap. I needed to find information about mum, I couldn’t wait till tomorrow. Going onto Safari, I searched for ‘Elle Bushnell’ first. Nothing. Go figure. When she was still named that, the internet wasn’t that common and everyone read only the papers. Going with her surname before she married that, I typed in ‘Elle Fitzpatrick’.

Results showed up. Relevant results.

Articles about some business she ran called “Garden Make-Over” in USA came up and some pictures. Pictures. Fresh pictures of my mum. I clicked on some and studied her. The Bushnell sisters had adopted their mother’s eyes, the easy glow of her smile and their short figure. Her black hair none of us had, that our dad had given us. He had also given me and Alice pretty similar noses, while Suzie had mum’s nose (she wouldn’t be too happy about that). I could see what dad meant when he said that I reminded him too much of my mother. I could imagine me looking pretty similar when I reached the same age. I inhaled sharply and clicked out of the pictures.

Clicking onto her webpage, I quickly found her ‘About’ page. A picture of her small form, dark hair, brown eyes and glowing smile were there, a beautiful garden behind her and gardening gloves on her hands. I looked away from it and started to read.

‘ Hi and welcome! My name is Elle Hough Fitzpatrick. I am happily married to Ellis Hough, best lawyer in the state, and together we have three cats – Sally, Annie, Della -, two rabbits – Oliver and Tom – and a goldfish – Mr Goldfish. Ever since I was little… ‘

I stopped reading once what I had read really sank in. ‘I am happily married to Ellis Hough’. Something inside me split in two, like cutting up and apple or anything else. Like having a knife cut you up. The image of mum living happily with another husband while dad still sat alone here in London, miserable since the day she left him, was sickening to me. How could she leave dad? And if she wanted to leave him, why not get a divorce? Why did she have to leave dad, Suzie, Alice and me like that? What had really happened?

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