#i have been doing this job for 2 years with huge success i do not need someone to redesign and micromanage everything i do

[thedreadvampy]

guess who's in 🎶troooouble🎶

New Boss does not appreciate my Vile Insubordination (giving an informed opinion in an email chain where she said some factually incorrect things and got called out on it - I said hey yep you're right that what she said isn't true but here's why it's still important to listen to our team)

and now we have to have a Quick Chattette about my Behaviour and Unsatisfactory Response (didn't apologise for being correct)

[weaselle]

i wanna do a thing where i lay out studies that show things in different primates that show us parts of ourselves as humans. Call it Primates: Through the Looking Glass or The Monkey in the Mirror or something

There are studies and documentaries that show things about Gorillas, Chimpanzees, Bonobos, Baboons, Macaques... that just make sense to me. That if shown right would make sense to a lot of people, i think.

like... they were studying this one group of gorillas --

okay wait. First of all, you know a silverback (the Big Male) of the group is not the leader or in charge or anything, right? He has a role, and it includes a certain amount of control, which i’ll explain briefly, but he’s not, like, in charge.

wait, you know all that Dominance/Alpha theory about wolves is all wrong, right?

wait wait wait, and also that like, the bull or the stag or whatever in a herd is not in charge of anything, right? right?

hold on. the wolves is it’s own post, the herd thing i might get back to, we’re on gorillas, okay. Silverback is basically just the male head of an extended family in which plenty of the leadership is handled by the women of the family.

There are often 2-4 silverbacks, but one, usually the largest, will clearly be senior to the others who are often his sons or brothers. Silverbacks have three main roles

1: defend the group from all physical threats aside from people, these threats are mostly random male gorillas, chimpanzee baby-snatching gangs, and the occasional leopard. Just his alert presence handles most scenarios, and then maybe a few times a year he has to risk his life fulfilling this responsibility. It is this role that provides most of whatever actual power he has over the group, namely this: while he isn’t necessarily the one deciding when and where the group goes on a daily basis, if the most powerful/capable silverback does decide to travel a direction, they pretty much have to go with him, the family isn’t safe without him.

2: make babies. And this is one area where the ladies of the group will sometimes sort of vote with their ovaries, and favor a silverback that isn’t the main one, like “yeah, Frank, you are the biggest, but honestly you’re a dick and we’re going to make sure the next generation of silverbacks isn’t another one of you.” When you see a main large silverback in a group of gorillas, it isn’t, like, his blindly loyal harem, they have to approve of him. Also gorilla females move between groups, and sometimes they take members with them or start new groups and stuff. Anyway i’m getting off track, one of the silverbacks jobs is making babies

3. keep the peace This functions a lot like being in the back seat with your siblings with your parents up front. Basically any disputes within the group have to be handled within a certain parameter of decorum, because if it gets too out of hand HE’s going to come over, and He’ll be upset, which is low-key terrifying because He’s huge, and there’s no telling who He’ll decide is at fault or what he’ll do about it, so letting a situation get out of hand is a losing scenario for everyone involved really. Tho typically he will favor senior females in disputes, in a “don’t you talk that way to your mom” kind of way.

one last thing, silverbacks don’t actually transfer power between silverbacks via battle every time.

Like i was just reading accounts from a multi-generational observational study of some wild gorillas that featured one big silverback just straight up taking over by performing the silverback duties better and becoming preferred by everyone else in the group. There was no fight, it just became, i do the job better, everyone likes me better, kicking my ass can’t change that, and boom, he was the primary silverback. And the other silverback might have been a bit dull, or a bit of a bully, but like us their species’ success is largely dependent on social intelligence; once he saw the writing on the wall, that other, slightly larger sivlerback didn’t even bother trying to change the situation with a physical fight, he understood what had happened.

okay so all that was just to tell you all this story. lol. Here’s what i saw in one documentary:

This very big, getting old silverback, who was hugely popular and successful, with a very large and tightly bonded family group, and a couple of his hulking adult sons backing him up. Everybody in his group seemed to love him a lot, he was particularly calm in that gentle giant sort of way, a safe, emotionally steady presence, happy to help raise his sons and daughters with kindness, and who could become a raging nightmare if pressed by a leopard ... exactly what a band of gorillas wants in a silverback.

But one of his adult sons had plenty of silver on his own back, and was getting itchier and itchier to be main man of the group, and this is where we start our little drama

It seems to be coming to a head, and the observers are nervous about a fight for the position. The silverback and his son are both are huge, probably approaching 400lbs, mostly muscle, with long thick fangs and skulls topped with jaw muscles as big as human biceps to wield those teeth, which nature has given them primarily to fight other gorillas with. 

But then the next day, the old man leads the fam up the mountain.

it’s winter, which is why they have come down the mountain in the first place. But as we discussed, if he goes somewhere, they have to go, so they all follow behind.

up he goes, and then he sits. And waits. It’s cold and there is much less food up here at this time of year. There’s nothing to do but sit hungry in the cold. His size and metabolism makes him the most able to withstand the cold, but even he is pretty uncomfortable. 

And so he sits. And his family, perhaps confused, but loyal, sits around him.

But his son, the other huge silverback, with years of training even as an adult under his wise father, is ready and able to go off on his own. Finally, he stands up, makes clear his intentions to leave this uncomfortable place. A small handful of the other gorillas stand with him -- if he goes down the mountain, then they can safely leave as well. He turns and heads down the mountain. After a moment, a few more gorillas leave the main group to follow. All in all it winds up being nearly half.

The wise older silverback thoughtfully watches his son leave with about half the group. He sits a while longer in the cold, in the company of those most loyal to him, and then takes them along a different path down the mountain

And those two groups still ran into each other sometimes, and were friendly. And sometimes a couple gorillas would change between the two groups. They were still close.

But i just thought that was such an elegant, meaningful way for that gorilla to handle that whole situation. And it makes a completely human sort of sense to me. 

[jordynbreeloa777]

After a 5 Month Break… I’m back With a Huge Success Story. I MANIFESTED REVERSING A REJECTION LETTER, TO ATTENDING MY DREAM SCHOOL IN A WEEK!

im back and im more motivated then ever. As you guys may know, my last post was 5 months ago as for I did NOT say I was taking a break. Welllll, I HAVE ONE OF MY BIGGEST SUCCESS STORIES YET. Before I left tumblr, I was super into “the void” and wanting to get in. Well no. Lol, Sammy Ingram snapped me right out of that. What I didn’t share was that I didn’t get into my dream school I been wanting to go for 3 years. Me and my sister was suppose to finally be going to the same school, walking on the same campus. Well let’s just say things didn’t go as planned. I didn’t get in, and when I saw my rejection letter my heart broke into a million pieces. I don’t remember how long I cried for. Until I remembered who I AM. I got myself together, and affirmed like a maniac. I affirmed through tears, hurt, through watching and hearing my friends get into their dream schools. I was depressed. I cried in school, at home, randomly throughout the day I was a mess. The 3D was slapped right in my face and even though I saw ZERO MOVEMENT. I had to practice what I preached right? I affirmed through the circumstances because I knew they weren’t permanent. Yes, and though I was sad, mad, it made me want to affirm more. I did 4 10 minute sessions everyday, with one 15 minute session. As well as robotically affirming throughout the day. I couldn’t stand me not going to the same school as my sister, especially since I HATED THE ONE I CURRENTLY WAS AT. If I didn’t get accepted I would have to return back which made me want to persist even more. I deserved this opportunity.

Of course, as the 3D is a mirror it has no choice to reflect your dominant beliefs. One day as I was in the going back home. My mom randomly said “I have exciting news for you.” Of course I asked what it was excitedly. Mind you I was still affirming even when I got in the car. She told me, that the dean of the school I wanted to get into said I still had a chance to get in, and what I need to do to get in. I needed another recommendation letter. WHATTTT? Now I affirmed that my recommendation letter was sooo good, and that my teacher KISSED MY FUCKING ASS in the recommendation letter. Literally this was my affirmations. “ I got into my dream school!” “Whatever teacher writes my recommendation letter kissed my ass, talking about how im such a good student!” Less then a week later my FINAL ACCEPTANCE LETTER COMES IN?? Now I don’t know why I didn’t get in the first time, nor do I care. THE HOW IS NOT OUR JOB TO WORRY ABOUT. WE HAVE ONE JOB. AFFIRM.

Here’s the acceptance letter, as for I manifested the rejection letter being turned into an acceptance letter! I did cross out, private information! By doing this and staying consistent, I manifested in 2 days. This just shows to stay consistent in your new assumption and stick with the new story! Your imagination is your only limit.

[marcsburnerphone]

And they were roommates

(Captain John price x F!reader)

Summary: that captain wants somewhere more homely to settle down and when an offer like yours comes alight on Zillow he must take up on it.

Warnings: none yet

Part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

———————

“John Price, military captain, heavily decorated, and unmarried.” you read off of a printed sheet of paper. He’s the third person you’ve seen today that wants to rent the room available. You were praying this one would be a success. You weren’t looking to house the married couples or the rowdy in love teenagers you’d seen earlier on today.

“Yes ma’am that is me.” He says looking down at you, not metaphorically but physically he’s inches above you. You’re far younger than he imagined, beautiful and so awfully well spoken that he’d assumed you’d be either his age or older.

“If this is your job and you’re not married and don't have kids I’m sure you get paid well. Why do you need a roommate?” You say hoping you don’t sound rude but with a job like that this man could afford much better.

“I’m not home much and basically live on base but for the times I do briefly return home id like it to be in a place like your home, beautiful, deserted, quiet.” The last few places he stayed in were apartments and he wanted to settle into something he actually cared to return to, not just someplace that could hold some belongings.

“Well then Mr.Price let me show you the rooms and house, follow me.” You lead him into your home through the halls and the living room simply showing him around making small talk about your job and hobbies.

“If you don’t mind me asking why is it you need a roommate?” He later returns the question, you halt in your tracks and stand still for a second making John hope he hadn’t overstepped.

“I was in a long term relationship that ended two years ago and when we broke up he left me the house or I technically demanded I keep it and um bills have been hard to keep up with.” You Look him in the eyes and smile softly, relieving him of the anxious feeling he’s holding.

“Sorry for asking.” He sincerely apologizes.

“Don’t worry about it, I think it's better you did because this will lead us to the next thing.” You reassure him and continue walking through a pair of French doors.

“This will be your office, I’m sorry about the boxes, they're a little too heavy for me to carry through this house and throw away.” You point to a fair amount of them pushed into a corner.

“No, don't worry about it, I'll get them out.” He replies kindly.

“And then right through here would be your bedroom.” It's exactly to the right of his office, a huge room which must be the master. He wonders if this had been the room you shared with your ex and by the look that covers your gorgeous features, he’s right.

“It has its own bathroom and a walk-in closet. If you want to live here, I’d like the home to be treated as if we both own it, not like you just rent a room, especially for the price.” You explain and truly that is your hope. He’s the perfect tenant and on his submission form he’s looking for a long term place which would mean less worry about the future bills on your behalf.

“When can I start moving in?” He turns to look in your hopeful eyes.

“Immediately if you want it of course.” You say with excitement. The mortgage payments have been a burden and this was a huge relief.

“Is it okay if I have some of my mates help me take these boxes out?” You nod enthusiastically with a quiet

‘of course’.

“I'll be back here early in the morning, Thankyou for inviting me into your home.” He says turning to make way back down the path you took to the room.

“Thankyou Mr.Price.” You offer your hand as a settlement.

“Call me John please.” He shakes it politely.

“I'll see you tomorrow john.” You say walking him to the door and bidding him a goodbye.

—————-

“Be honest captain, is she cute?” John had the unfortunate situation of having to haul soap with him in his car while the two other men drove the moving truck that he only rented to get rid of the boxes you had.

“She’s nearly a decade younger than me.” He answers hoping that’ll lay it to rest.

‘That doesn’t answer my question.” Soap never chooses peace.

“Yeah she’s stunning.” And really you were.

—————————-

“Hi good morning, come in.” You say opening the door letting the cold air sweep into your warm home. Eyeing the huge men that stood in the doorway.

“Good morning this is soap, gaz, and that's ghost if you couldn’t tell. This is my task force and certainly my best mates.” John replies quickly giving them an introduction.

“Nice to meet you all.” You say trying your hardest to not sound intimidated.

“And you as well, gorgeous.” Soap says gripping your small hand in his own.

“He’s a flirt, don't worry about him.” Gaz says, shaking your hand next.

“Nice to meet you.” Ghost offers you his gloved hand giving you the softest handshake he thinks he’s ever given in his life.

“Well you boys can get too it there is pastries on the counter and drinks in the fridge if you need anything i'll be in my room that’s down this hall.” You say smiling at all of them then reaching into the pocket on your paint stained overalls fishing out a pair of keys.

“Oh and before I can forget John these are yours, this one is too your office and bedroom door and this one is too the house door.” You say handing them over on the pink keychain you’ve kept them on all this time.

“Thank you.” He says before you walk away.

————————

“That little lady does not know how to pack these. They are insanely heavy, how'd she ever expect to get them out.” Soap says picking up a box from the office room that’s filled with papers.

“I don’t think that was her main concern.” John says as he also picks one up walking them outside and into the U-Haul he rented.

“She’s a true stunner though, how will John Price be able to resist?” He teases his captain.

“I’m with soap on that one.” Ghost surprisingly grumbles throwing a box down on the gravel.

“Should’ve seen the way she was looking at you captain.” Gaz enters this pointless conversation out of breath gently setting down more boxes.

“I actually think you're the only one here whose age is appropriate for her gaz.” Gaz makes a sound of disagreement.

“Captain 8 years isn’t what you’re making it seem, don't you remember when soap had a girlfriend like 13 years older than him.” The memory flashes through all their minds and ghost has to keep himself from giggling.

“And don’t you remember how it ended.” It was ugly, soap found that when time passes people get older and being 37 with a 50 year old wasn’t what he thought it’d be.

“All I’m saying is I think some romance with a pretty lady like that could do you some good. I mean your living in a home together tension will get to you at some point.” John rolls his shoulders back and sighs.

“Shut up and get back to work, all of you.” The captain says demanding as they all hurry back inside.

But what if?

——————-

“Wow, I don't know when’s the last time I've seen these rooms empty.” You say walking into the office.

“Was it all his?” John says giving you a one up at the change in clothes. You're wearing your pajamas which consist of shorts and a big shirt.

“Yeah it was, when will you be bringing in your own stuff?” You reply quickly changing the topic.

“I actually have all my stuff in my truck, only three boxes, I’m not a man of many possessions.” He laughs Gruffly swiping a hand over his mouth.

“I have clean sheets in my closet if you’ll be needing some.” You offer politely.

“Please.” He says and you nod, turning to go get them.

“I’ll just be bringing in the rest of my belongings.” He says walking down the opposite end of the hallway.

He brings the boxes in one by one, setting them in the office not paying mind to where you could have gone till he brings the last one in and hears you humming in the bedroom putting what were to be his pillows inside pillow cases.

“Oh love you didn’t have too. I've been making my own bed on base for longer than my memory goes back.” His deep voice slightly startles you.

“Sorry, it's just a habit.” You apologize softly and he wonders if it came off the wrong way.

“No, Thankyou is what I really mean.” He says slightly smiling at the floral print sheets that now adorn his bed.

“Sorry these are actually the least feminine looking ones I have.” You smile realizing how silly it looks for a man as manly as the one who stands before you to have blue and pink flower sheets.

“No worries love.” He nods to you.

“Well I'll see you in the morning, goodnight.” You say giving him a small pat on the shoulder and leaving to what he could only assume to be your bedroom.

He got changed for the night, ready to settle into bed. As soon as his head hit the pillows the scent of lavender and a perfume that had to solely be you was invading his senses. Something so feminine and warm and good, god was it good. He turned his head slightly more into the pillow taking a deep breath in and out enjoying it. The more he focused on it the easier the sleep had come and before he knew it he was sleeping like a bear in hibernation.

—————————————-

I’m ready for a new story.

Comments and reposts and greatly appreciated<3

If anyone has thoughts or ideas on how this should go please send them in.

[gguk-n]

Fernando's Protege (Fernando Alonso x Single mom!Reader)

Summary- Alejandro was the next big thing in Karting and he was only 8 years old. He also looked up to Fernando Alonso. Getting to meet Alonso changed not just his life but also his mom's.

Watching Alejandro zip past the strait on the track, Y/N felt a sense of pride. He was only 8 and was a force to be reckoned with. He was fast, agile and most of all humble; which was the reason why he was doing so well. Y/N always taught her son to be thankful and grateful for the opportunities and the success.

Alejandro was a tiny version of her, the biggest similarity being their love for cars. She had passed down her love for racing to her son. When he was born 8 years ago, she did not imagine she would be standing at the track in Madrid watching her son winning his first karting championship. There was a buzz as Alito crossed the finish line. His mom already by his side as he took his helmet off, a big toothy grin plastered on his face. "Momma, did you see? I was so fast" he spoke animatedly while trying to catch his breath. She smiled at him, "Yes, you were carino." while hugging him. "Let's go, you need to rehydrate and then we'll check the kart before we have to go for the debrief." she continued. Her son smiled at her, now sipping from his 'Cars' bottle.

This shared interest of theirs had Y/N working 2 jobs and a freelance gig so that she could make it to his races. But watching Alito smile was more than all she could ask for. As the debrief started, she heard a lot of whispers and murmurs until one of the interviewers compared her son to Fernando Alonso, his idol. That boy really looked up to Alonso; even though he was just a kid he knew how hard his mom worked to make his dreams a reality. He knew Alonso had to work really hard to get where he is, and Alito knew he wanted to be just like Alonso and race on the same track with him. "So, Alejandro, how does it feel to win your first Spanish karting championship?" the interviewers asked. "It's the best. I'm gonna have pizza after this." he cheered. A small smile evident on his mother's lips as she watched him interact. "You've been a force to be reckoned with. People say you remind them of Fernando Alonso." the interviewer spoke. "What does that word mean?" Alejandro asked. "Reckoned means people think you are or might be as good as Alonso in his karting days" the interviewer elaborated. The little boy jumped up and down bouncing on his feet as he answered the question, "He is my idol after my momma obviously" he said while looking at his mom, "I love him and I wanna be like him and race with him one day" he spoke with his voice slightly higher. "I hope you get to do that some day, I think it might happen soon" the interviewer said. They continued with question on race strategies and then Alejandro walked away to receive his trophy.

The interview of Alejandro after the race had started making it's rounds on the internet when people found out how much he loved Alonso and how both of them came from humble backgrounds. It had reached Fernando's PR team who showed it to him. Fernando ended up watching his races and he was happy to have such a talented boy look up to him. As he dug deeper into his story, he found out Alejandro's mom was his team, she was doing all of this alone. He knew how difficult it was; Alonso saw the potential and he wanted to help the family. His PR team ended up contacting Alejandro and his mom through social media and got them tickets to his race in Spain. When Y/N got the dm and the invite, she was over the moon. Both of them were huge fans and this was a once in a life time thing.

On the day of the race, Alejandro was decked out in green repping Fernando and Aston Martin. He was literally bouncing off the walls with the excitement. Y/N packed a small bag with some food and an extra change of clothes for Alito. There was a buzz in the air as she drove them to the venue. Alito couldn't stop talking about everything he would tell Alonso and all the pictures he would take. She parked the car and got Alejandro and some of their essentials out and was greeted by the Aston Martin team at the entrance. They handed them their paddock passes which Alejandro insisted on wearing on his own and asked to take pictures with. They walked towards the Aston Martin hospitality while Y/N tried to keep a tight grasp on the little boy's hand. He waved at anyone and everyone he made eye contact with. She almost lost him when he saw Carlos and sprinted towards him, with Y/N just behind.

"Hola Carlos, I'm a big fan" he chirped. Carlos smiled and replied, "But it looks like you love Alonso more" The little boy looked down before saying, "He's my idol, I wanna race with him one day" Carlos ruffled his head, "Sure you will" he said. I greeted Carlos, apologised for the inconvenience. He brushed it off and even took a picture with Alejandro on his request. She scolded him on the way back about running away from her. Alito apologised and even kissed his mom's hand. They reached Aston Martin without anymore hiccups.

Fernando was waiting to greet them, "Hola, Alejandro" with his hand out for him. "Hola Fernando" he said while shaking his hand. "Congratulations on your win" Fernando said. "Muchas gracias, I wanna be like you when I grow up" Alejandro blurted while hugging Fernando's legs. "I think you'll be better than me with how you're doing" Fernando replied while patting the boy's back. "You must be the mother of this lovely boy, Hi, I'm Fernando" he said directing his attention to Y/N. She couldn't help but giggle, "Hi, I'm Y/N. I know who you, he inherited my love for racing and you" she replied a blush forming at the words she just uttered; hitting herself mentally. Fernando smiled, his eyes glimmering with a playfulness she didn't notice when he spoke to her son. "Well, his mom does have good taste" he said with a smirk. Lance greeted us too, calling Alejandro a protege. Fernando was summoned by the team, "I have to go Alejandro, have fun. I'll see you soon" he smiled at Alejandro; "See you soon, hermosa" he directed these words towards Y/N, shooting a quick wink before he turned around to leave, a flush of crimson kissed her cheeks.

Fernando started 8th and finished 7th. Alejandro really hoped that his idol would finish on the podium but he was happy nonetheless. The day ended with Fernando back at the hospitality after all the post race interviews and podium while the mother and son duo were getting ready to leave. Alejandro handed Fernando a piece of paper, he had drawn him and Fernando on a podium after a formula one race in Spain with the Spanish flag on the top, "You aren't just good at karting, but you are a good artist" Fernando said admiring the art. "Gracias" Alejandro replied. "You should come to see me race, I'm pretty good" he said. "I would love to watch you race" Fernando professed. Now, Fernando turned his attention to the boy's mother, "I don't know if my team said anything, but I would like to help Alejandro reach his dream and exceed his potential." "Your team did say something, but I wasn't sure." Y/N replied while rubbing her hands. "I would like to personally sponsor him but I'll also try to get him sponsors. I know how hard it can be and I would love to watch him reach formula one, if that is his dream." he declared. Y/N smiled, "Muchas gracias, how do I ever repay you for your kindness?" she muttered. "No need to, I'm just happy I can be of help to him." he said while looking at Alejandro who was now busy playing with Lance. Her eyes darted between her son and Alonso. "We should exchange number" he said. Y/N looked shocked, her mouth agape. "So, that I can come to one of his races" he continued. "Oh, yes, yes, one second" she said while pulling her phone out. They exchanged numbers and then said their good bye.

Alejandro had gotten quite after they sat in the car, "What's up, bebe?" Y/N asked her son. "I miss Alonso" he mumbled while wiping away his tears. "Oh no, carino" she said while turning back to hand him a tissue. The little boy's voice came out in quite sobs which racked his body. She pulled the car to the side and climbed back to comfort her son. "It's ok, Alito. You'll see him soon." she comforted the crying boy. "He even gave me his number, we can call him some time later." she suggested which seemed to cheer the boy up.

A while later, Alejandro was competing in the Rotax Max championship in the Mini Max category with help from Alonso who did come to a race. Alejandro was over the moon excited. The two of them had kept in touch after the grand prix. They would call Alonso up every once in a while which lead to Y/N and Fernando also growing closer to each other. With their growing closeness, there were new feelings that had started to take place in both their hearts that neither were aware of. Y/N found herself putting more effort while getting ready before video calls or the race he was supposed to come to. Alito enjoyed his company and Fernando liked having a tiny karting genius. The race which Fernando come, Alito didn't finish podium and was bummed. Fernando cheered him up saying that he didn't finish podium when he came to see him either, so they were even.

After the race, they headed out for dinner. Fernando didn't want the day to end and who was Y/N to say no to him. At the restaurant, the waiter complimented them saying that they were a cute couple, Y/N was ready to correct him but Fernando thanked him. The waiter may have gotten tipped handsomely that night. Alejandro had fallen asleep in the back of the car on the way back to the hotel. Fernando carried him their room. After laying him down on the bed, "I had fun today" he commented. "Me too" Y/N agreed. Fernando hugged her good bye, the hugged lasted longer than between 2 friends, it was like neither wanted to pull away.

The pair got closer to Fernando as time passed. Initially, Y/N used to monitor Fernando and Alejandro's calls, now she would let them talk unsupervised which led to Y/N receiving tickets to the next grand prix and flight. Y/N immediately rang Fernando up, "hey, Fernando." she greeted. "Hi, Y/N" came a groggy voice. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" she apologised. "No, no. What's up?" he cleared his voice. "Did you send me ticket's to the next GP?" she asked. "Yes, we're back in Europe and Alito told me he is on summer holiday." he replied. "Nando, it's too much. I can't" she protested. "It's ok, hermosa. I wanted to see Alito too. I won't get a refund either. See you there" he insisted. "Ok, see you there." she lamented.

They were at the Spanish grand prix for the second time this time. Every thing felt so familiar yet foreign. Fernando had received them at the airport on Saturday and took them to the hotel. At the paddock, Fernando took the two of them along with him, even introducing Alejandro as junior Fernando. The paddock seemed to love him. All the drivers welcomed him with open arms and the boy was more than excited since he had more than 2 people to talk about his love for racing. Alejandro was a little star at the paddock. Once they found out about his karting history, they gave him more tips and tricks on how to do better. He soaked it all up.

Y/N was stood at the side watching them interact. "He's a natural." Fernando commented. She smiled at him, "yes, he is. I'm happy he has good role models" she said. Fernando found his cheeks heating up. Alejandro walked back to his mom with Penelope, "momma, meet my new friend, Penelope." Y/N shook her hand. "Can we get ice cream?" he asked. Y/N smiled and took them to get ice cream after getting Kelly's permission. The two kids ended up talking all the way to the stand and enjoyed their ice cream back.

While they were gone, "You like her" Lewis commented. Fernando looked at him shocked, "What? Is it that obvious?" Fernando asked. "You haven't spent this much time with some one since your divorce and you're literally going to karting races to help the kid. I mean anyone and everyone knows you are interested." Lewis stated. "Maybe, I'm just being nice." Fernando interjected. "Maybe" Lewis hummed; "But I don't think anyone would mind if you had other intentions. Everyone deserves love, especially the both of you, after all the personal stuff that has led you two to each other." Lewis said. Fernando mulled over his thoughts and Lewis's words.

Race day was hectic. Fernando finished out of points but was still happy to spend time with Y/N and Alejandro. They ended up going out for dinner after and spent a lot of time sat in the restaurant. When Y/N had gone to the washroom, Alejandro and Fernando had a conversation. "Alito, can I ask you something?" he asked. "yes" Alejandro replied. "I like your momma. Do you think I should ask her out on a date?" Fernando asked. Alejandro seemed to think about it for a moment. "Does that mean you would become my papa?" he asked innocently. Fernando's heart swelled up with pride and happiness, he didn't want to pressurise the kid but he couldn't help but feel so important and a part of his life. "If you want me to be." Fernando choked out. "I think momma likes you." he stated.

After dropping the mother and son at their hotel, Fernando plucked up the courage and asked Y/N, "Hermosa" he mumbled, his palms sweaty, lips dry; he drove formula one cars for a living for crying out loud, what was happening to him he thought. Alejandro gave him a thumbs up before excusing himself to the toilet. "Would you like to go out with me, sometime, if you're free?" he asked. She looked at him bewildered. "You know I have a son who I'm raising on my own" she questioned. "yes, I've had the pleasure of knowing the bright young racer." he replied. "We're a package deal. I just" she spoke but was quickly cut off by Fernando, "I asked Alito for his blessing before asking you. If this bumps up my chances, he wanted me to be his dad" Y/N eyes were as big as saucers, "He did not say that" she said shocked. "He did. I really like you, I don't know when and how this happened but I genuinely enjoy your company and I would love to spend more time with you as a man and with Alito as a father figure. I don't wanna take anyone's place but carve out a niche for myself." Fernando clarified. She smiled at him. "I think I would like that. I've been hard on myself especially after everything with his dad, maybe I would like to spend time with you as a woman." she said. "I would love to treat you right and show you off" Fernando said. "I'll keep you on that. I'll see you for dinner when you come visit. I don't really have a sitter here" she said. "I know a great sitter, let's go out tomorrow" he suggested. "who's this great sitter?" she chided. "Carlos, I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping out" Fernando said. She nodded her head in agreement. "I'll see you tomorrow then" she said, while placing a kiss on his cheek. Fernando hugged her and kissed her forehead. "see you tomorrow. Good night, mi reina" Y/N blushed while she waved him good bye. Alejandro was listening in on the conversation, ecstatic about his mom and his idol.

Hope you like it.

[synchodai]

When I say Tyland Lannister is my favorite character...

I am being 100% dead serious. Here is why I prefer this seemingly average nobleman over the many many many fan favorites in Fire and Blood.

Tyland Lannister is a second son in a story about second sons. Whether his feelings on this are as strong as Aemond's or Daemon's, we never know for sure in the books, but it's obvious that he's subservient to a mirror image of himself who only has more authority because of a few seconds separation between twins. It's a great display of both the arbitrariness and rigidity of succession.

His initial role in the Dance is as the master of coin for the greens. He's depicted as a typical Lannister: charming, comely, and cunning. He did what any savvy accountant would do and divided the crown's treasury amongst different allied regions for safe-keeping, ensuring that if King's Landing were sacked, their enemies wouldn't loot their coffers dry and they'd still have plenty of gold for their war efforts.

And of course, King's Landing gets sacked. Tyland is put in the black cells and ordered to be tortured by Rhaenyra to extract the gold's whereabouts. Winter is coming, people are starving and rioting, her army is dwindling, so she desperately needs that gold. Tyland is gelded, maimed, disfigured, and blinded but the torturers get nothing out of him.

Mind you, this man has been a rich, pampered bureaucrat all his life and he endured all that without breaking. When Aegon II releases Tyland from those cells, he has no fingernails, his eyes have been gouged out and/or sewn shut, this man who was once known for his good looks doesn't look human anymore — but he still manages to maintain his wits so much so that he plays an important role after the Dance.

Even with Rhaenyra dead, there are still armies raising their banners for her eldest surviving son, Aegon Trois. Tyland tells Adult Aegon to kill Child Aegon because obviously, the latter threatens the former's claim and Tyland's understandably angry over what his mom did. Aegon Dos is like, nah, I'll keep the boy hostage instead — that'll keep the armies at bay more than outright killing him.

So Tyland volunteers to go to Myr to hire sellswords for Aegon 2 since their armies are pretty much kaput after six years of this civil war. Tyland is blind at this point I remind you — there is a huge chance this man will never get to go home again. But he does it anyway, because even after years of fighting, he keeps his unwavering loyalty to the monarch he declared for.

Aegon II dies while Tyland is in Myr, and Tyland goes back to Westeros just in time to see Cregan Stark use his powers as the new Hand to marry Aegon III and Princess Jaehaera to unite the green and black sides. Cregan dusts off his hands, says my work here is done, warns the boy king not to trust anyone, then leaves for the North for everyone else to sort this mess out.

Now comes the part where Tyland shines as a character. He becomes the Hand of Aegon III and when you see his policies detailed in the book, it's clear that his goal is focused on repairs and renumerations. After what happened to him, he has every right to be spiteful and bitter against the blacks, but instead he "claimed a curious failure of memory, insisting that he could not recall who had been black and who had been green." He abolished the heavy taxes imposed on the smallfolk, sent out gold to lords whose holdings had been devastated during war, and set out to rebuild the Realm's granaries and fleet. Cleaning up is a tedious, unglamorous job — and because of his monstrous appearance and former allegiances, Tyland was looked upon with distrust.

And yet, while other regents grasped for power and tried taking advantage of the 13-year-old King Aegon III, Tyland seemed to be different. If he wanted power he could have married his twin brother's widow and convinced the boy-king to route more resources towards Casterly Rock and the Westerlands. But he didn't.

Instead, he genuinely seemed to be a father figure to Aegon III.

Tyland Lannister, blind and crippled, had always treated the king with deference, speaking to him gently, seeking to guide rather than command.

And for that, many lords saw him as a weak Hand. But Aegon, who cared for very little and never laughed and was always sullen, seemed to care for Tyland.

When the plague ravaged King's Landing, Tyland dutifully prioritized it over quashing the Ironborn raids at Lannisport. He was the last person to become afflicted with the Winter Fever, and the king sat by his Hand's side during his final hours. When the council starts discussing who should be the new Hand, Aegon (the boy who rarely ever speaks) says:

I would have Lord Rowan as my Hand. Ser Tyland thought well enough of him to offer him my sister’s hand in marriage, so I know he can be trusted.

This boy trusted Tyland, the man who only years ago wanted him dead.

So it's easy to imagine that this man saw Aegon III as the boy he was responsible for, as the son he could never have because of what the war had done to him. Tyland Lannister was a broken man who despite losing everything, his king and his brother and himself, kept a broken Realm and broken boy together when everyone else swarmed like vultures just trying to pick at carcasses.

What motivated this man's loyalty for a boy whose mother mutilated him? Did he regret pushing for the death of an innocent child and this was his penance? Did this man who gave everything for his cause think that this boy was something that could still give all that sacrifice and tragedy meaning? Was the mercy and kindness he afforded an apology for the horrifying trauma that scarred this boy — did he feel responsible for his mother's downfall and the failure to save his uncle? Did his disfigurement and blindness allow him to let go of the man he once was and become someone capable of seeing the folly of pride and power?

Here is his obituary in Fire and Blood:

Ser Tyland Lannister had never been beloved. After the death of Queen Rhaenyra, he had urged Aegon II to put her son Aegon to death as well, and certain blacks hated him for that. Yet after the death of Aegon II, he had remained to serve Aegon III, and certain greens hated him for that. Coming second from his mother’s womb, a few heartbeats after his twin brother, Jason, had denied him the glory of lordship and the gold of Casterly Rock, leaving him to make his own place in the world. Ser Tyland never married nor fathered children, so there were few to mourn him when he was carried off. The veil he wore to conceal his disfigured face gave rise to the tale that the visage underneath was monstrous and evil. Some called him craven for keeping Westeros out of the Daughters’ War and doing so little to curb the Greyjoys in the west. By moving three-quarters of the Crown’s gold from King’s Landing whilst Aegon II’s master of coin, Tyland Lannister had sown the seeds of Queen Rhaenyra’s downfall, a stroke of cunning that would in the end cost him his eyes, ears, and health, and cost the queen her throne and her very life. Yet it must be said that he served Rhaenyra’s son well and faithfully as Hand.

Tyland wasn't extraordinarily badass, noble, or even skilled. He was an excellent politician but no way the best. But I think that's what makes him compelling to me — that he's this down-to-earth depiction of a POW, a war veteran by all accounts, trying to pick up the pieces and slowly glue what remains of the Realm and himself back into something vaguely human.

We tell so many stories about the glory, the tragedy, and the losses of war. But I think it's important and beautiful to tell stories of those bravely and optimistically choosing to keep living in the aftermath as well.

[ghostbeam]

Oblivi_n.exe | Dabi/Touya Todoroki

Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler. 

As Dabi’s new handler, you’re well aware of his history, how frequently he goes through handlers assigned to him. Not that he ever uses them—it’s more complete resistance. You’re not particularly good at your job. Transferred from the PLF for lack of success in handling any of their pilots, you’ve always been far too gentle. You lack authority. Your pilots never respected you. You don’t think Dabi will be any different. You give it a week. 

Notes: okay wow hiiiii it’s been a long time since I’ve posted an actual fic (nearing almost a year now😬) this is something I’ve been working on for a bit. I have mech brain rot curtesy of @streimiv and @hawnks (both of whom this is dedicated to bc there’s no way I could have written this without yapping to them abt it and also mint helped me come up w the acronym for HERO’s) and we’ve all got our own mech fics in the works atm but anywayssssss this is kind of my baby atm but I hope it makes sense it’s very inspired first and foremost by pacific rim and then also NGE (mostly through consumption of YouTube vids bc I haven’t actually watched it pls don’t hate me) it’s a whole mess of things and Dabi is kind of a bitch and reader is slowly coming into herself and at the end of the day they both wanna be metal fused to one another forever (no matter how hard he denies it) also I’m not a huge computer person idk if this title makes sense so don’t make fun of me pls ok anyways I hope u like it!!!!

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, pilot!Dabi x handler!reader, there’s no explicit sexual content in this part, not even a kiss sorry guys, mentions of robot gore (exposed wires, insides described as guts), brief descriptions of being trapped inside a small space, descriptions of burning while inside said space, mention of surgery to fashion a metal jaw onto someone, mentions of child abuse (nothing graphic just allusions to the todoroki family and touya’s past), angst, many run on sentences, a small cliff hanger

Words: 7.9k

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 (coming soon)

You are nothing without your machine.

It’s the first rule, the first thing beaten into his brain by his father. You carry the burden of the mech alone, or you’re weak. You don’t exist. 

U.A. raises the best and brightest pilots, navigators, mechanics, and handlers, each one carefully trained to ensure the most important outcome: winning. It should be protection. It should be defense. But if Touya has learned anything at all, it’s that winning means glory. It means worship. It means HERO’s (Human Engineered Robotic Objects) are saints, and pilots are gods. 

 Touya used to be one of those best and brightest before his accident. 

First son to Enji Todoroki, Touya was supposed to be the golden child, the first Todoroki to pilot without a handler. He was supposed to carry the burden alone, something his father couldn’t do, something only one man has ever actually been capable of. 

But Touya is born weak, bad bones, a brain unable to handle all that the mech needs to unload onto it. One too many accidents results in him being expelled from the pilot program, his HERO discarded and collecting dust in its pod, and Touya is promptly transferred to mechanics. 

It should have been a smooth transition. If one kid can’t handle it, the next will. Because they have to. 

He doesn’t take the news well. It’s a fit of tears, a persistent fight, unable to accept the loss of his machine—of his body. Because Touya loves it. What he lacks in strength, he makes up for in pure passion, and despite being unable to handle the burden, there’s no denying that he’s good. He’s almost perfect. 

But almost is not enough for Enji Todoroki, and no matter how hard Touya tries, he’s made up his mind. 

After months of mechanics, Touya makes a decision. When the next fleet of HERO’s is deployed for the next kaiju battle, Touya sneaks in among the chaos, tucked neatly inside the chest of his machine where he belongs. It doesn’t take long for things to go south, for Touya to get caught in the crossfire, losing control of his mech and burning from the inside out. 

It should be an excruciating death, stuck inside a machine made for war, fire raining from above as a battle continues on outside without him. 

But he survives, because what he lacks in strength, he makes up for in resilience, and his mech is programed with solutions to every situation. He’s stuck inside for months before he’s found.

Tomura Shigaraki rescues him, pries open the chest of his mech and pulls him from inside. His group feeds him, takes him in, fashions a new jaw for him made from the metal of his mech, and allows him the decision to join their cause or go back home. 

And since there’s no home to go back to, Touya finds his footing with the league and becomes one of their top pilots. One who vehemently resists any and all handlers.

…

Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler. 

As Dabi’s new handler, you’re well aware of his history, how frequently he goes through handlers assigned to him. Not that he ever uses them—it’s more complete resistance. You’re not particularly good at your job. Transferred from the PLF for lack of success in handling any of their pilots, you’ve always been far too gentle. You lack authority. Your pilots never respected you. You don’t think Dabi will be any different. You give it a week. 

Following closely behind Tenko, formerly Tomura, he quickly explains to you the in’s and out’s of the pilot/handler relationship, along with a warning about Dabi’s resentment toward the whole idea. You try to keep up, but he talks quickly and uses his hands a lot. Even so, you can tell he’s a natural leader, something he had to grow into after overthrowing the man who raised him. His story is a tragic one, and it resonates with you because Tenko came out the other side stronger. Now, the league is a community with a cause, one you really believe in. Even if you and Dabi aren’t the right fit, you still have a place here. 

You follow Tenko into what he calls the garage, a large floor of the abandoned academy that serves as the league’s base, this part of it full of HERO’s and mechanics all focused on the machines in front of them. It’s completely different from how HERO’s were worked on at UA, where you grew up, and even the PLF didn’t have one dedicated floor to this sort of work. You can feel the energy of the room buzzing on your skin, music blasting from old radios and mechanics tossing tools towards one another in a familiar routine. Tomura leads you to Dabi and his HERO, Blue, though you’re instructed not to call it a HERO around him. With goggles over his eyes and gloved hands, he brings two wires from Blue’s ankle together, sighing at the way they spark each time they connect. 

“Dabi.” Tomura calls over the music coming from the radio hanging off of Dabi’s waist. He drops the wires and his gaze flickers toward the two of you. Pushing his goggles up to his forehead, he gives you a once over. His eyes are the brightest you’ve ever seen—kaiju blood blue—and burn scars litter his body. He’s striking in a way you’ve never seen, almost too beautiful to be human. Giving Dabi your name, Tomura explains that you’re taking over as his handler, seeing as he couldn’t keep the last one for more than a couple of days. “She’s your last handler. If you can’t keep this one, then go ahead and fry your brain. See if I care.”

“You say that every time.” Dabi calls from around sucker as Tomura walks away, leaving you alone with your new pilot. 

You just your hand out in a greeting, “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

Eyeing your hand, Dabi shakes his head and turns his back to you, picking the two wires back up and connecting them again, despite the same spark from before igniting between the two. He looks back up at Blue, touching his fingers to the slim lines starting at the back of her ankle and running all the way up her leg. You peak over his shoulder at the wiring, noticing that he’s connecting two of the wrong ones. 

“It’s the wrong wire.” You tell him, and he spins around to look at you, tearing his goggles from his face as he scoffs. 

“Here we go.” He sighs with a roll of his eyes, pulling the candy from his lips and tossing it onto the tool cart without a care. “Handler know-it-all bullshit. This is my mech.”  

You push passed him and grab the similarly colored wire from beside a red wire and connect it with the one in Dabi’s right hand. Blue lights up cyan through the thin lines that run along each of its limbs and torso, connecting with the two cameras within its head, which seem to blink before the light reaches them. 

In an instant, you’re being pushed up against the hard metal, a strong arm over your chest—pinning you up against the HERO. Dabi, now having discarded his goggles, looks at you full of white, hot rage. 

“Don’t fucking touch her.” He growls. You’re suddenly aware of the close proximity, eyes flickering between the snarl across his lips and his angry gaze. For a beat, you both freeze, the air suddenly charged like you’re waiting for one another to strike. Snapping yourself out of his hypnotic stare, you push against his chest, forcing him to let you go. 

“If I’m going to be you’re handler, you’re going to have to trust me with her.” You remind him. He lets out a harsh laugh, like he can’t believe you would suggest such a ridiculous idea. 

“I don’t trust anything but this machine.” He speaks, turning away from you to seal up the machine’s exposed wires. It’s a challenge you’re willing to accept.

“Well, I’m here to change that.” You tell him, before turning on your heel to leave him alone. 

He thinks he’ll give you a week. 

…

One of the worst parts of being assigned a handler, Touya thinks, is the way that pilot/handler living quarters are set up. He assumes the academy, before it was abandoned and turned into a base for the league, created this sort of set up so that handlers could keep a close eye on their pilots. The handlers Touya has burned through up until now also assumed the same. 

The door that connects both the pilot’s and handler’s dorms doesn’t lock, and all of Touya’s past handlers have taken advantage of this fact. He’s been pulled out of bed far too early, pushed around and commanded and barked at. Most handlers behaved as if pilots belonged to them, which was the sentiment drilled into their brains from being thrown into such a fucked up system at a young age.—unless you were a pilot of status like a Todoroki. While he league dedicates a lot of its time to reversing these ideas, most handlers look at Touya like some kind of challenge, this arrogant pilot begging to be tamed. It never takes long for them to realize how easily he’s able to flip the switch on them. You’ll be no different.

But hours pass and you still haven’t entered. You don’t swing the door open and demand he apologize for his behavior earlier. You don’t try and punish him with training regimes, a command of a set of push ups, a schedule you expect him to follow, an extremely detailed meal plan. The entire evening comes and goes without so much as a sound on the other side of the door so he knows you’re even behind it. 

He falls asleep unnerved by this, waking up late into the night in a cold sweat, expecting you to barge in, rip the covers from his body and demand to train together. When he wakes up (peacefully) the next morning, there’s no sign of you. He rises from his bed, drinks orange juice straight from the carton and eats a candy bar for breakfast. He fiddles with the navigation screen from his mech that stopped working a couple of days ago, tools spread out on the counter in front of him. Once he’s got the thing working again, your knock sounds from the unlocked door between the two of you. He thinks this might be it, the commands he expects to fall from your lips at the ready as he swings the door open, but you stand there, nervous, hands twitching as your eyes finally meet his.

Greeted by a shirtless Touya, hair mused from sleep, cargo pants hung low on his hips, dog tags swinging against his chest, his scars on display, unashamed and proud. The sight of him knocks the breath out of you, and you clear your throat in embarrassment, hoping your state of dreaming comes off as nerves rather than lust. 

“Dabi. Or do you prefer Touya?” You smile. When he doesn’t answer, you continue. “I wanted to see if you wanted to eat breakfast together in the caf. I think we should start over. Yesterday was—”

You’re promptly cut off, “I already ate breakfast.”

With a harsh slam of the door, he leaves you stunned in your room.

You eat alone. 

When you started as a pilot, back when you’d entered UA (a few years about Touya’s accident), you went into it believing you could change the world. The exam had placed you into the position of handler, and you were assigned a pilot who had always seemed a little frightened of you despite your obvious lack of authority. Bringing the fact up to your instructors did nothing. They all assured you that this was the ideal dynamic, that the handler always had the upper hand, but you hated that feeling. You weren’t a team like you expected to be; you were urged to control your pilot. You were there to keep them in line, not to be a pillar of support. The bond was never built on trust, and the soul link was always a looming threat. No matter how many pilots you went through, the link was never held as a gift, but a prison, something you would both be stuck with for the betterment of society, a sacrifice to make. 

You’d been expelled from the handler program after guiding your pilot to help save another in the wreckage of your first battle together, resulting in the damage of your pilot’s HERO. Your pilot was okay, but the other couldn’t be saved, and you were blamed for the damage of both mech’s. 

When you found the league (or when the league found you), you were working with the PLF, but proved to be a weak handler. Every pilot you were assigned to took advantage of your optimistic outlook on the kind of relationship dynamic that pilots had with their handlers. Despite all that you had been through at UA, and with the rest of the pilots you’d been paired with after, you never gave up the hope that handlers and pilots could behave as a team, or, even better, one entity. 

Tenko had taken one look at you and demanded you’d be transferred to the league. There hadn’t been much of a choice in the matter, not that you really cared. You were miserable everywhere else. But when you arrived at the abandoned academy and taken a peak behind the kudzu covered walls where each and every area of the building acted as multiple moving parts in collaboration with one another in order to create one massive system, you realized that this was the future you imagined for yourself—and for the world you lived in.

Tenko saw something in you that day, something you aren’t sure you even see in yourself. And so Dabi was your first task, one that’s proving to be very difficult. But he doesn’t treat you like all the other pilots before had. He doesn’t use you. In fact, it seems like he wants nothing to do with you. And while that’s a problem, it’s still one you can work with. 

You’re broken from your thoughts by the sound of a voice through an overhead intercom asking for everyone to meet on the first floor of the academy at their earliest convenience. Judging by the quick movements of those around you, you figure you’d better head downstairs as soon as possible. 

The meeting on the first floor makes you very aware of just how small the league really is. While it’s definitely not a tiny organization, it’s still much smaller than both UA and the PLF. With everyone piled up like this in one group, you realize it feels more like a community, and the hum of conversation that surrounds you comforts you in a way you’ve never felt within the walls of any other academy before. 

There’s discussion about the upcoming mission, one which may be the league’s most ambitious yet; the plan to hijack a mech and kidnap a pilot may be a little unorthodox compared to the league’s past missions, but the jaded pilot they’re targeting has a high chance of joining the cause. Or that’s what they have assumed. As the bodies move and speak around you, it strikes you how different this meeting is from any other meeting you’ve ever been a part of. Tenko is less a dictator and more a wrangler for the disembodied voices of your peers. 

You don’t know much about his story, save for the vague details you’ve heard, but Tenko’s status as a lone handler is something you find yourself curious about. If he’s able to work without a pilot, why can’t you? It’s an idea you keep in your back pocket, one you think you can fall back on if things with Touya don’t work out. But you want them to work out. So badly. 

You aren’t sure what it is about him, but he’s reignited that spark inside of you. You know he’d rather you give up, and maybe the you from a couple of months ago would have, but something about him—and this place—won’t let you leave. 

As you observe the meeting, you take the time to look around the room, taking in your peers and their attentive faces as they listen to Tenko intently. You turn to your right, your eyes meeting a pair of blue ones, impossible to miss. Dabi holds your stare for what feels like ages, and when your colleagues erupt in a fit of many simultaneous discussions, you tear your eyes from his to observe the commotion. When you glance back in his direction, he’s gone. 

You don’t seem him again after that. You train with other handlers, get to know your peers a little better. Everyone else seems to be welcoming, and most offer you sympathy when they find out you’re Touya’s new handler. From what you can gather, he’s had his fair share of them, all of which have quit or left in hysterics due to his harsh nature. When you ask around about where he could be, you’re told that he’s most likely in the garage, a place you assume he’s in more often than not.

You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to the garage. A place so completely different, so against the ideas and beliefs of any other academy you’ve been a part of, the chaos and community within is so foreign to you. You find Touya with Blue, working inside of her chest, where the cockpit is. 

“Touya!” You call up to him and watch as he peaks his head over the edge of her metal plating. Annoyance falling across his face, he jumps down from where he stands, landing hard on his feet in front of you. 

“What are you doing here?” He questions, his figure so tall and imposing above you. He’s not particularly muscular, not even all that tall compared to Tenko, but he makes you feel small regardless, in more ways than one. Rolling your shoulders back, you stare straight into his eyes, unwilling to back down. 

“I figured you wanted your space today.” You explain, as Touya moves around you to get to his rolling cart of tools, forcing you to turn toward him and follow him if you want him to hear you. “I know adjusting to a new handler is rough, and I never want to make you uncomfortable. But I was thinking we could try some of those pilot/handler bonding exercises. It might be good to start training like some of the others do.”

He drops the wrench in his hand onto his cart with a loud thud, turning around toward you with a look of disbelief on his face. “Pilot/handler bonding exercises? They really brainwashed the shit out of you at UA, huh?”

At the mention of your past academy, your eyes widen in surprise. You had no idea he knew about that. Clearing your throat in order to compose yourself, you speak again, “I left UA for a reason. I have no attachment to their methods, but you guys do the same stuff here, so what’s the issue?”

“The issue is that I never asked for a fucking handler in the first place, especially not one as eager as you.” He spits, “Sure, you’re understanding now, all that bullshit about ‘giving me space,’ but the moment you get a lick of power over me, you’ll change. You’re not different.”

“I don’t want power over you. This is an equal exchange. Pilot’s and handlers are meant to be a team—” You try and argue, but he doesn’t let you finish. 

“That’s what they told you, right? We’re a team, and as teammates, you make sacrifices. And it doesn’t matter if one of you turns into the other’s braindead dog because that’s your place.” His words hit you hard, the exact thought process you went through when leaving UA, completely disillusioned with their idea of “teamwork.” He’s right, and you know it, but since coming here, you thought that wasn’t how it had to be.

“Look, trust me, I get—” You’re cut off again.

“You went to UA! There’s no trusting you.” He scoffs, “It’s not like you’ll last here, anyway.”

“You are such a hypocrite! You’re from UA!” You retort, throwing your arms up in desperation. “You can hate me all you want. You can resist and resist and fry your brain ‘till there’s nothing left, but I believe in this shit. And you don’t get to tell me that I don’t, or tell me I’ll turn into something I worked so hard to get away from.”

Touya stands there, surprised by your outburst, completely unaware that you were capable of all of that. He doesn’t say anything back, and you roll your eyes. “So fuck you, and, by the way, her angel port is smoking.”

At your words, he turns in a rush, seeing the smoke billowing from Blue’s chest as he climbs his way up her form. Once inside his machine, he extinguishes the port and allows himself to relax. There are two things on his mind in this moment: how you could have possibly known it was the angel port without being inside of Blue’s chest and how, for the first time in a long time, he feels bad for his handler.

But for you, it’s the first time you’ve ever held your own against a pilot before, and that feels good.

…

Something feels weird.

Off, unsettling, strange.

He realizes, much to his dismay, that it’s your absence. Despite only having you around for such a short time, Touya has realized that your lack of presence now feels wrong. He hates it. He hates you. 

He can’t find you. You haven’t knocked on his door. You’re not in the caf, not the garage, not the sparring floor, not in your room. And he did check—without knocking. 

He’s not even sure how he can feel an absence. You aren’t a regular part of his life, and he never wanted you to be. But he feels all fucked up.

During training, Touya jams Blue’s halo core and she leaks vibrant neon from between her ribs. It takes him half an hour to get her reboot her system and rips one of the cables attached to the back of his suit in the process. He spends the afternoon cleaning HERO fluid off the sparring floor. 

During repairs, he shocks himself over and over while trying to fix her core, fingers burning from the sparks each time he arranges the wires inside. The cameras in her eyes won’t work from the reboot, and Blue won’t let him unlock the lens panel to fix it. It’s almost like she’s mad at him too.

He’s a complete mess. It’s your fault. He has no choice but to go looking for you. Again.

He searches every wing of the academy before concluding that you’re in your room. He barges through the joint door, spotting you at the counter in your tiny kitchen. You’re surprised by the intrusion, a frightened gasp falling from your lips as you jump in your seat. You turn toward him, prepared with angry words on your tongue, but Touya speaks first.

“You’re not getting an apology out of me, so don’t expect it.” He begins, moving to stand in front of your swiveling kitchen stool as he looks down at you. “But I’m willing to be civil with you, so we don’t have to do this shit anymore.”

You’re not exactly sure what “this shit” is, but Touya looks a little worse for wear at the moment, so you don’t question it. He places a tray from the caf down in front of you that you hadn’t noticed in his hands upon arrival, says nothing else, and turns to leave the room. After shutting your joint door, you look down at the tray of food, noticing one of his suckers placed onto a vacant compartment of the tray. 

You’re greeted the next morning with a knock on your door, Touya dressed in his pilot’s suit on the other side as you swing the door open. “C’mon. You’re gonna watch me train today.”

You watch him turn around to leave, expecting you to follow. You rush to pull on your combat boots and grip your dog tags in your fist as you rush to catch up to him. He doesn’t spare you a glance as you fall into step beside him, taking a look around his dorm before he leads you through the exit door. 

“You need to get a feel for my fighting style.” He explains as you walk down the corridor. “I’m not saying I’ll listen to you when it comes down to it, but it’s important for you to know.”

You nod, agreeing that you should definitely observe him inside of his HERO. By understanding his moves, you’ll be able to understand the way he thinks, and you’ll be able to help him in actual combat if needed. He’s already said he won’t listen to you, but it won’t stop you from trying. He stops abruptly, turning to look at you, and you stop with him. 

“If we’re gonna do this, it’ll be on my terms. I’m not your dog.” He tells you, seriously. He eye’s you up and down, taking in your expression as you nod at his words. “If anything, you’re mine.”

He begins walking again, leaving you in your spot, irritation filling your chest as you watch him, smug. “Asshole.” You curse under your breath.

“What’d you say?” He barks, turning to look at you abruptly.

“You’re an asshole.” You speak louder. He walks back toward you, making sure to tower over you intimidatingly as he looks down at you in annoyance. His eyes flicker down to the tags around your neck before hooking a finger on the chain and pulling you closer. 

“Watch it.” He drops the chain and walks away again. 

You follow him to the sparring floor, and he shows you where to go to watch. Stood behind a large window that looks over the sparring area, other members of the base watch the HERO’s engage in combat below. You spot Tenko and he motions for you to stand beside him. 

“I knew he’d warm up to you.” He comments. The last of the previous battle finishes and you watch the two enormous machines retreat to the sides of the area, their pilots emerging from their chests with their handlers rushing to the bottom of the mech’s in support. 

“He hasn’t. He’s not.” You shake your head. You aren’t sure why you deny it, if it’s some way to keep your expectations low or if there’s some kind of embarrassment aspect to the whole thing. Whatever is happening between you and Touya feels intimate and private, something that the two of you need to figure out for yourselves, not something meant for the eyes of others.

“Hm. Okay.” Tenko shrugs. “Guess not.”

You hadn’t noticed Touya enter his mech at all. You see the swing of one giant mechanic arm, too close to the window you stand behind, and you’ve shifted your full attention to the scene at hand. 

The enormity of the room surprises you, despite the fact that you had seen it just moments before. But when you’re truly looking at it, watching these huge machines go at each other, the way the ground shakes, the leaves outside shake, the deep forrest clear in view from the wall that opens out to the greenery (the lack of a wall is likely from the academy’s abandoned state, but it’s a good feature to have on the sparring floor when giant robots are toppled over onto various surfaces).

The way Blue moves is electric, mechanic movements almost feel fluid with the way that Touya pilots her, easily dodging attacks from their opponent and moving around them in the most graceful way a giant machine can. It’s beautiful, unlike any fighting style you’ve ever seen in a HERO before. 

“He’s showing off for you.” Tenko observes from beside you. You don’t argue with him, only because you can’t dispute it. This is your first time seeing him in action. It makes your heart beat out of your chest. There’s this ache like you should be inside with him, cables connected to both of you, tucked neatly inside of Blue together. 

It doesn’t take him long to get his opponent on their back, the heavy thump against the floor jostling the ant-like figures on the ground below, handlers waiting for their pilots to finish. It goes on like this for a while, his training, using different methods of combat and winning each time. He’s amazing, and you can tell why his reputation is the way it is, second only to Tenko, who you have yet to see in action. 

When he finishes his last session, you watch Blue walk to the edge of the room, and Touya emerges from her chest, jumping the long way down her body without any issue. You watch as he looks toward the window you’re behind. He waves at you, an acknowledgment of your presence, and you wave back, though you aren’t sure he can actually see you.

It’s the beginning of everything for the two of you. You think Tenko was right.

He lets you stay with him afterwards while he does maintenance on Blue. He helps you climb up the path to her chest, hauling you over the edge to sit inside with him. He turns around abruptly, holding a hand up before allowing you to walk any further.

“Do not touch anything.” He warns, completely serious, before letting his hand fall and allowing you further into the cockpit. You take in your surroundings, the guts of his machine, analyzing the different control panels and screens that line the interior. You can tell he takes good care of her, and he spends a lot of time in here. It looks lived in, stickers stuck to metal plating and pieces of him all over. He’s made a second home in between the ribs of his mech. You feel a little jealous, though you aren’t sure of what. 

The two of you sit against the left side of Blue’s interior, waiting for her updates to finish, the loading screen on each of her monitors display a fire graphic that grows with the increasing percentage on screen. Between you and Touya sits an opened bag of sour gummies, which Touya picks out the lemon flavor and drops the candy in your palm with each new handful he gathers. 

“How do you know all this stuff?” He questions around a mouthful of sour cherry, “Like, the real names for things, where stuff goes, how to fix them. That day with the wires…”

“I spent a lot of time around mechanics at UA, and then also at the PLF.” You explain, picking the yellow colored candy from his open palm as you speak. “I couldn’t connect with other handlers. I didn’t like how they thought, or how they viewed the pilot/handler relationship. Mechanics were mostly neutral, and they loved these machines like nothing else. They reminded me of why I joined UA in the first place.”

“Hm.” He nods, thinking about your past. “Well, I guess if you spent so much time around actual professionals…I could maybe use your help sometimes in the garage.”

“Really?” You question excitedly, a spark lighting up your eyes as you swerve your head toward him. He feels something tight in his chest at the sight.

“Yes, but only on the outside. I don’t want you messing with her insides, yet.” He establishes. “And never alone. I have to be there at all times.”

“Of course, yes, oh my god. Touya!” You smile, gripping his shoulder firmly, a gesture of thanks, communication of how much his trust means to you. “I’ll be so careful with her, I promise.”

“Yeah, well, you have no other choice.” He shrugs, throwing another pile of candy in his mouth. “I’ll kill you if anything happens to her.”

You take the threat seriously, but his heart isn’t in it. He’s realized that you’ve wormed your way into his life and he hadn’t even noticed just how entangled you were now. 

As the weeks go by, you spend a lot more time together. You work on blue together, and you rest inside of her chest, sometimes allowing yourself to drift off against his shoulder on especially tiring days. He sits beside you in the caf, and while he doesn’t always say much, the feeling of his arm against yours is comforting. You can tell people are starting to notice, and they’re starting to talk. You’re being dubbed someone who’s tamed him, but you know how far from the truth that is. 

Despite your differences and the petty arguments that come up when Touya feels like you’re intruding on his independence, you’re growing attached. You wonder if he is, too.

…

Spending time together in the garage becomes the new normal for the two of you. Being in each other’s dorms feels far too intimate, so you always meet in the garage. This way, one of you is always busy doing something with your hands. There’s no room for any strange feelings in the pit of your stomach to seep in. 

You sit in the crook of Blue’s neck, watching Touya as he repairs the lenses in her “eyes.” Blue has three pairs of eyes; in her head, her chest, and down near her hips, which all footage is projected onto monitors inside the cockpit so that Touya has a full view of what’s in front of him. 

He’s so peaceful while he works, you’ve noticed, almost like he goes somewhere else completely. It’s a part of him you don’t think many people get to see, a piece of him just for you, and you want to be selfish with it.

“Can I ask you something?” You question, leaning your head back against the metal. “But you can’t get mad.”

He looks up at you, still fiddling with a lens, a mocking look on his face. “I’m not making any promises.”

You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the possible fallout of the question you’re about to ask, “What do you think about the soul link?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I’d never do it.”

You nod your head in understanding, “yeah, I get it. It’s weird, right? The idea that someone else would be inside your brain.”

“It’s fucking invasive.” He says.

“You know, at UA it always felt like a threat, you know. Like, it was a way for a handler to control their pilot, not a tool or a bond like it should be.” You begin, thinking back to how you viewed the soul link back then. You didn’t like how the bond was presented as this power that a handler holds over their pilot, a threat to keep their pilot in line. But, you could understand how the link could be used for good. “But since coming here, I can tell it’s not all bad. People trust each other here. I mean, there’s obviously some people who abuse it, but, for the most part, everyone seems to understand what it really means to be a pilot and a handler.”

You’re mostly just thinking out loud, but Touya doesn’t say anything to your ramblings. He continues to work on the lenses, and you can gather that he doesn’t want to talk about the subject anymore. But you can’t let it go, yet. There’s something you’ve been worried about since you met him.

“And what about…your brain? They say when a handler and a pilot don’t complete the soul link, the pilot will eventually fry their brain.” You can’t help it. You think about it all the time, what will happen when he can’t take it anymore. The closer you get to him, the realer it feels. “Are you ever worried about that?”

He looks at you, an expression you can’t quite make out fall across his face as he stares. It’s almost soft, the way he looks at you in this moment. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

The truth is, this is a reality Touya has accepted. He’s not afraid to die, and he never has been. He’ll probably die inside of Blue, and he has no problem with that fact. He doesn’t need to be around for long, just enough to show his dad what he’s capable of.

“C’mon.” You stare. “That’s not fair.”

“Shit. I left some of the screws for this in my dorm.” He curses. He looks where you lounge, tucked into Blue’s shoulder. “Keep an eye on her, okay?”

You watch him jump down, much higher than his usual height at her chest, but he lands anyway. He doesn’t turn to look back at you as he jogs away. You climb up the side of Blue, and look at the lenses in her head. They’re already repaired, and you know Touya used the excuse of missing screw just so he wouldn’t have to talk about the soul link.

But it’s the first time he’s ever left you alone with Blue before. 

…

As the mission draws closer, Touya throws himself into training. You’re on the training floor with him most days, standing behind that big glass panel as you watch him spar with his peers. He still doesn’t let you down on the floor with him until he’s full out of Blue and close enough to the edge of the sparring floor to get to you. You’re not allowed in the actual training area, and even though he says he doesn’t want you clinging to him, it’s really because he wants to keep you safe. Seeing your human body near the giant machines that are HERO’s makes him want to grab you and keep you inside of Blue’s chest forever. 

You can tell all the training is taking a toll on him. With an excess of headaches and the occasional nosebleed, you continuously get into arguments about him cutting back on training inside of Blue. There are other ways for him to prepare that don’t involve his fragile brain being hooked up to an entity that takes so much. He doesn’t listen.

Later and later into the night, as your fellow pilots and handlers disperse and return to their rooms to sleep, Touya stays inside of Blue, testing her movements and sparring against test dummies and obstacles. Once you and Touya are the only two left on the sparring floor, you speak into the intercom attached to your head.

“Touya, I think you should take a break.” You tell him, “It’s late. Get some rest and then we can pick it back up in the morning.”

There’s a pause, then, “I’m gonna stay for another hour. Get some sleep. I’ll be done soon.”

“No, Touya. You’ve been at it for hours. You barely took a break for dinner. C’mon.” 

“You know, you sound awfully like a handler trying to tell their pilot what to do.” He teases, but you can hear the irritation in his voice.

“You are insufferable. I’m worried about you.” You groan.

“I’m fine. Go sleep.” He insists.

“If I find out you aren’t out of here in an hour—” Your line is promptly cut off, leaving behind static in your ear. You sigh and throw your com to the side. You hope he’s telling the truth.

With one last look at Blue, you make your way out of the training floor and find your way back to your dorm. 

Touya doesn’t answer the door when you knock the next morning. With a frustrated groan, you leave your dorm and head to the training floor, assuming he woke up early to get some extra hours in. The closer you get the the floor, you notice other members of the base rushing in front of you. Feeling panicked, you pick up the pace, jogging toward the training room to make sure something isn’t wrong. You collide with a body in front of you, nearly falling to the floor as you steady yourself. Toga stands in front of you, her cheeks red and eyes glossy as she explains something your mind can’t catch up to understand. The only thing you recognize is his name, and you’re running toward the training floor in an instant. 

You watch as Blue stomps around the area, her arms swinging in all directions, losing her footing as she moves. Knowing you can’t do anything on the floor, you make your way up to the overlook, finding Tenko yelling into your intercom. 

“What’s going on? What’s happening?” You ask him, pulling the headset off of his head and placing it on yours instead. 

“He’s out of fucking control. He won’t answer. I don’t even think he’s conscious in there.” He tells you, running a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots in anxiety. “You’re not linked yet, are you?”

You shake your head, closing your eyes in frustration as you try to think. You know it’s the only way. You have to take some of the burden off of him, make him share it with you. It’s the only way he’ll survive right now. “Do you think you can get into Decay right now and knock him down somehow?”

He hesitates, “I can get inside. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to touch him at all.”

“You have to.” You plead, desperately. “I just need him down for ten seconds, tops. As long as I can get inside of her, I can save him.”

He looks at you like you’re insane, and maybe you are. But you know you can’t live with yourself if you don’t try something. Tenko nods.

“I can do it.” He tells you. You rush passed him, following the stairs down to the training area. You feel Tenk grab your wrist firmly. “You bring him back, okay?”

“I will.” You nod. 

He dodges Blue’s movements, weaving between her legs as he finally makes it to Decay. It takes a few moments for him to connect, but he goes straight for Blue. You watch the giant machines fight one another, but it’s clear that Blue’s lack of control hinders much of her ability. She needs Touya just as much as he needs her. It’s tough for Decay to dodge her swinging arms, but Tenko manages to knock her down quickly.

The fall shakes the room, but you waste no time running for Blue. Climbing over the side of her, you manage to touch your thumb to the pad on the outside to open her chest up. She begins to stand up, and you slip down, grabbing onto a bar beneath her ribcage. You let out a frustrated groan as you try to pull yourself up over the edge of the cockpit. Finally making it over, you see Touya sitting there, still connected to his pilot’s chair, eyes glazed over and blood gushing from his nose. You push the button that closes the panel in Blue’s chest, and you’re suddenly alone with him. 

Touya’s body is being jerked around by the movement of the mech, and you hang onto the walls of her chest in order to make your way to him. You situate yourself in his lap, taking his head in your hands as you look at him with tears in your eyes.

“You fucking asshole! I told you to take a break.” You sob, resting your head against his as you try and think of what to do next. “Touya, please. Please, baby, I need to you come back. Just fucking come back so I don’t have to do this without your permission, please.”

With no response from him, you wipe your tears, coming to terms with the fact that you have to complete the soul link now, or he’ll die. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Touya. Please forgive me.”

The soul link isn’t exactly an action so much as it is a feeling, an experience. There’s no trigger for it, no way to make it happen. It just begins. 

It’s Touya, aged thirteen, wild, chubby-cheeked and happy, in the pilot’s seat of his father’s HERO. It’s his drive, his determination, his anger, his hurt. It’s the day he snuck into battle, the day he couldn’t get out, flesh burning and fusing to the metal walls of his mech, the feeling now deep in your skin. It’s you, aged fifteen, hopeful, alive, shaking hands with your first pilot. It’s your heart, much too big and much too open for your line of work, it’s your passion, your fire, every piece of you that was broken down again and again until there was nothing left. It’s Touya and it’s you, and every single bit of your souls now tied together in one big knot. 

There’s nothing but darkness. And then there’s screaming. And then you can hear everything. Every thought running through Touya’s brain right now echoes in your head as you slowly come back to yourself. He can hear the same of yours.

It’s overwhelming at first, to have two sets of thoughts in your head at the same time, but you manage to focus. You can feel an anger inside of you like you’ve never felt. It’s almost like it’s your own. You need to come back. You’ve lost control of Blue.

In an instant, you feel yourself come back to your body, now straddling Touya like before, you feel his arms shoot around you and he tucks his chin over your shoulder to pilot Blue like he’s used to doing. He pays no mind as he presses up against you, but you feel your heart rate increase at the closeness. 

He’s so close.

I have to be. You’re in my lap.

Shit. I didn’t think—

Clearly.

I can’t fucking believe you. I told you we weren’t going to do this.

You were dying!

Then you fucking let me!

You’re jostled around in his lap for a moment as he stops Blue from destroying any more of the training floor, and Touya wraps an arm around your waist, holding you steady.

He gains control of her quickly, moving her toward the edge of the room. You tuck your face into his neck, not wanting to distract him and keeping your thoughts at bay so you don’t overwhelm him. He powers Blue down, severing the neural connection between the two of you, and shoves you from his lap and into the pilot’s chair like you’ve burned him. He storms out of the cockpit, climbing out of his machine and leaving you inside. You think about the argument you had within each other’s head, how Touya would have rather died than be linked to you like he is now. 

You slump against the seat, comforted by the metal cage you’ve been left inside of. 

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You…

Youtube! Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️: overthinking, anxiety, undeserving, frustration, fatigue

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (taglist open)

Chapter 2 Chapter 2.5 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV

I don’t think people understand just how exhausting life can be. ‘Not to mention expensive too.’ I thought to myself. When I got home I greeted my family before dumping my stuff by the front door then headed to my room. I collapsed on the bed and let out a huge sigh. I didn’t want to get up because of how exhausted I was but I needed to edit some of my videos I’ve made in the last couple of days. I dreaded doing it because I lost some of my footage due to me falling asleep at the computer. How I did it exactly is a mystery to me. All I know is I tried to find it and it wasn’t there.

I got up and started moving about the room. I needed to get changed and get a shower before I started working. As I was in the shower I started reflecting on my YouTube channel. I’m an introvert as most people would say. I don’t socialize much with others unless I’m at work where I have to, but I usually mind my own business. Unless I hear gossip then I’m interested. I debated whether if it was a good idea to start a channel since I didn’t think I was very entertaining.

You see I grew up in the South where I listened to Country music along with some Pop and occasional Hip Hop or R&B. When I first heard K-pop music it was odd at first but over time I came to really enjoy it. Which brings me to where I am now, listening to K-pop music and rating the group’s albums from my perspective and reacting to videos of them being silly. Stray Kids found their way into my heart one day and since then they’ve become a part of my life.

After getting refreshed, I go into the kitchen to find something to eat since my stomach made a gurgling noise. I decided on a sandwich and some chips. After making my food I head back to my room and start up my computer and monitors. It’s been a little over a year now since I started this channel. I knew from the start that doing a reaction channel probably wouldn’t go viral right away, but after some time more people started to find my channel and following me. Especially after my reaction to God’s Menu MV. Call it the Felix effect if you would. Even to the point where they were excited for new videos to come out.

I always worried that people wouldn’t like my videos, but then I would see all the positive comments and smile that I made someone’s day better. I used that positivity to keep me going, doesn’t mean that I didn’t get hate here or there. Although there are a bunch of people who stood up for me. That would always make my day better.

‘Focus Y/N. You still have to finish these two videos so you can start making more for next week.’ I shook my head and got working on my videos that I already recorded. ‘I need to re-record what I deleted so that I can finish editing this video.” I got to work on the one I didn’t mess up first before going to the second one. I pulled my camera towards me and turning it on. I pulled up the previous videos I had watched from that evening before doing my intro.

“Hello Lovelies and welcome back to the channel. So, as you will see I’m dressed different from my previous video. Reason being is that I deleted some footage and now I’m having to re-record where I left off. So, let’s get started shall we.”

——————————————————————

Third Person POV

The boys were taking a small break from practice. They’ve been going at it for days it seemed like, even if it were only a couple of hours. Things were picking up since their comeback was coming up soon. As each one of them found a place to relax, Felix was watching a video on YouTube.

“How many times have you watched that same video?” Felix looked up to see his other half looking at his screen with his eyebrows raised. “I can’t help it. She’s very relatable, super sweet, and I love her accent. Plus she’s beautiful and has gorgeous y/e/c eyes.” Hyunjin sits down beside Felix. “Okay okay I get it, you love everything about Y/N. It’s not like you’re the only one though.” Hyunjin takes a moment to look at the rest of his members. “We all have seen her videos and like her just the same as you, if not more.” Felix sighs. “I know. I guess some days I enjoy watching her videos because they make me smile. Especially when some days are harder than others. Her videos comfort me like a warm hug on a cold day.” Felix smiles thinking about it while Hyunjin smiles at him, understanding where he comes from.

He remembers when they first found Y/N’s videos. During Chan’s room, there were some Stays that told Chan to look her up and watch her videos. It didn’t happen right away but Stays were persistent on them watching her, so they finally watched one of her videos just to see what their fans were talking about. One video turned into three videos then seven videos, up until the point where they had seen all of her videos. Some might say that Stray Kids themselves love Y/N’s videos more than Stays. Each member has there own favorite episodes of Y/N as well as their favorite qualities of her. Chan likes how motherly she acts, especially when it comes to Stays asking her questions on certain topics. Lee Minho likes how she can understand and speak Korean. Even go as far as to have subtitles in Korean for people who don’t understand English that well.

Changbin likes her laugh, especially when its uncontrollable laughter. It makes him want to laugh with her. Hyunjin likes how creative she can be with her edits. Like when she adds in all these cool effects or audio cues that make the video even more engaging. Han Jisung likes how uncharacteristically funny she can be without trying. Felix like her smile, he thinks it’s her most charming point. Seungmin likes her sassy/blunt side. He thinks that’s the funniest part of her personality. Jeongin likes her whole personality in general. He knows he could see her as an older sister if he ever met her.

Hyunjin turns back to Felix “I believe that’s exactly how Stays feel seeing videos of us too. We’ve seen them express it through messages and videos. So I get where you’re coming from.” He pats Felix’s knee and moves to go back over to his original spot.

“SHE JUST POSTED A NEW VIDEO!” All of the boys looked in the direction of the voice they heard. All scrambling to get over to Changbin who had called them. “Well what are you waiting for? Play the video!” Lee Know shouts as Changbin presses play on his phone.

(Terrible title but it’s all I could come up with lol. Hope you all like it! I’m trying something new so who knows how far I’ll go with this one. I’ll try to update as much as I can. Thanks!)

[springseasonie]

Overtime | KDY (M)

Ceo Doyoung x Secretary fem reader

Summary: You and Doyoung stay late at the office and have a long extensive conversation about life, work, and other things. Doyoung's life motto is never mix personal life with work, but his mini crush on his secretary becomes bigger than life all on this night.

Warnings: sexual content, age gap (legal!!! doyoung is older), oral (fem receiving), unprotected, pull out method, proofread (kinda, I'm tired)

Word count: 5,7k

Song recs: thinkin bout you by Katie

A/N: took longer than I expected with this one. I've been in a writing slump for the past week so I'm sorry if this sucks. The smutty words don't come out the same as they used to lmao. Feedback is loved and appreciated 🫶🏾

You would've never taken this job if you knew your boss would be this hot.

Applying for the secretary position at a world famous company was not in your plan after college, but it just happened. You especially didn't expect to get hired. Now you've been working for 2 years and can't say that you would choose anything else, especially when you get to work so close to eye candy every day.

Kim Doyoung. He's the youngest successful single man in Seoul at 38 years old. No, he's not old, but he is way older than you in most people's standards. You never really had a thing for older men, but when you met Doyoung, you could say opposites attract. You would always try and hide your staring, sometimes he would catch you. He knows he is handsome, he's been told many times, but you're the only person who has ever worked for him that has never kissed his ass no matter how attractive you found him. He enjoyed having you around, having someone who wasn't a yes man.

Instead of going home, you were sitting at your desk finishing something you should've some ages ago. You were a huge procrastinator and he knew this. At first, it was something he hated about you. All of his other secretaries were very punctual while you did things late. However, you were way more detailed in your work, way more careful with his needs and schedule so he let it go.

"Why do I do this to myself," you groaned. You finished the last couple of words on the screen, aggressively pushing the period key with a sigh. "And all done." Now all you had to do was print the paper and leave it on Doyoung's desk for the morning. You pressed the tiny print pop up, watching the machine pump the papers out the front. Once it was done, you stapled them together.

Standing, you walk from around your desk and towards Doyoung's office. The sound of your heels filled the silent dimly lit hall, making you hum in delight. Although you hated staying to work late, you couldn't deny the atmosphere of an empty office. How peaceful it was, how strangely free you felt. Reaching Doyoung's office you noticed the door was left slightly ajar.

"Weird," you say to yourself. "He always leaves it shut." You walk in looking at your feet not expecting to hear anything.

"Oh you're here too?"

You jump, startled at the voice of your boss, looking up as you looked at his figure being lit up by his lamp. Blinking rapidly trying to regain your composure, you clear your throat shaking off your very clean dress. "M-Mr. Kim you surprised me," you say, a relaxed attitude faltering.

Doyoung watched you straighten your back, chuckling to himself as he stood up from his desk. "Relax, you don't need to be so formal. It's just you and me here."

You try to loosen up a bit, but he makes you so nervous especially when you're alone with him. You find him to be very intimidating. From how he speaks to how he dresses to even his favorite foods - Doyoung is a super classy man, way different from you. You gulp, placing the papers on his desk. "Here is the report for all the departments from this week. There were some last minute changes so…yeah."

Doyoung picks up the packet, flipping through the pages as you stand there with your hands folded in front of you. The room was silent, just the sound of him flipping rh pages was heard. You were in his office often, but never this late. Your eyes shifted around the room, taking in your surroundings. It was a cozy space, city lights in the big windows, every shelf stacked with something work related or some random object.

Doyoung had a picture of his family on one of the bookshelves, a picture of himself in his early teens with his parents and older brother. He hates that picture, always saying it reminded him of his hard life growing up. Doyoung didn't talk about his personal life much, his number one rule for all his employees and himself being don't let work and life mix. But working so closely with him has made you learn things about him he'd rather no one know, like how many times his mother has tried to set him up with some pretty rich woman or how many times his father needs meetings to berate his son.

Doyoung puts the papers down without a word. You started to turn on your heels, about to leave when he speaks up.

"Could you…stay for a bit," he says in a deep voice echoing in the quiet room. "I won't keep you long, just want a bit of company that's all."

You turn around with an awkward smile on your lips, clearing your throat. "Yeah sure, I don't mind."

Doyoung stood up from his seat, giving you a full view of his messy image. Tie loosened, shirt a bit unbuttoned - he was so attractive it pained you. He walked to the window behind him, leaning on the glass as he stared out at the huge city below the both of you. "You don't have to stand all the way over there you know."

"Oh.. right." You walked over to him, standing a distance away as you looked out the window.

"It's pretty right," he said, glancing at you. "I love this view at night."

"Me too."

And right back to silence, but instead of it being stiff, it felt comfortable. Neither of you noticed the glances the both of you kept sneaking at each other. But for a while you stopped looking at him and just leaned on the window taking in the pretty scenery. Doyoung looked at you, tracing your face with his eyes. He always thought you were pretty, knowing that he would probably ask you out if you weren't working under him. He still thinks about the first day he met you. You were a complete mess, just graduated and working 2 jobs to keep yourself afloat at the time he interviewed you. It was obvious you lived off coffee, eye bags couldn't even be hidden under your makeup. Now you're doing good for yourself. You seem happier, less stressed, and have really grown into your age.

Doyoung hates how much older he is than you. Not many girls your age would be into someone near their 40s in his mind, so for a while including now he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

"So," he finally spoke up. "How was your day?"

"Oh, uh, well," you laughed awkwardly. "It was okay. I did what I usually do."

"Sit there and drink coffee," he joked, making both of you laugh.

"I do…other things," you said between giggles. "How was your day?"

"You already know that information," he said, letting out a deep sigh. Doyoung had a hard day, dealing with unreasonable clients and frustrating employees. You know how stressed he is all the time and you feel bad for him.

You wanted to say something but you didn't. You had no idea what to say to make him feel a bit happier. You were only his secretary after all, there's not much you can say without crossing lines, but that's what he likes about you. Sometimes you were so oblivious as to what was acceptable to say and what wasn't. You never dared to overstep boundaries, but it just happened.

"Do you ever feel like there's something in your life that's missing," he asked suddenly.

You look over to him, his face hard in concentration as he stares at the city lights. "What do you mean?"

"Like…you're doing something not because you enjoy it, but because it keeps you alive," he explains. You and Doyoung feel the air around the both of you become heavy with the sudden change in topic. Doyoung never had these kinds of conversations with you in the 2 years you've been working with him. In fact, he's never vulnerable with anyone about anything, not even the people he considered close friends.

"Well," you started slowly. "I do feel that way."

He turns to you, watching how your eyes shine in the light. "Was it when you started working for me?"

You glanced at him, giving him a small laugh. "Do you want the honest answer?"

"I want whatever answer will help me through this dilemma,* he sighs, pushing his hair back.

"I know you don't know a lot about me." You begin to relax as you start talking, leaning on the window. "I wanted to be an artist for a while. I grew up drawing, painting, the whole lot of stuff. My parents thought it was just a hobby and they were right for a while because then I fell in love with writing."

"Is that why you got a journalism degree," he interrupted.

"Yeah…that's right," you laugh softly. "Did I tell you this story before?"

"No I just…" Doyoung stopped talking seeing your playful smile, heat flying to his ears making them red. You were so pretty to him, especially in this light. "Sorry, you can continue."

"It's okay," you chuckle softly. "Anyway, I loved telling stories and wrote things in private all the time, but storybooks weren't going to pay the bills so I had to take up informative writing. Fast forward to my third year and I start realizing how much I hate what I'm doing. My love for art comes back and I start drawing more than writing essays. That's when I realized I wanted to make comics."

Doyoung stands there with his arms crossed, trying so hard to pay attention to listen to you, but he couldn't get over how pretty your lips looked, How nice your voice sounded. His eyes traveled to your neck, his next thought immediately flying to how good you smell when you’re next to him. And your hands, goodness he loves your hands. They would brush against his sometimes, the thought of how soft they would feel on his-

"Mr. Kim?"

He blinked, head being pulled out of his inner thoughts by your voice. He couldn't believe he zoned out while you spoke. Doyoung gulped, realizing the kind of image his brain almost created. "Yes? I'm sorry I zoned out. I'm just a little tired."

You gave him a small laugh and understanding smiles, nodding at his words. "I understand, I'm tired too so I'll keep it short. Sometimes we will feel periods of emptiness in the things we do no matter if we love them or not. We just have to remember everything that makes it worth it, not matter what." You stopped talking when you felt Doyoung's eyes on you, boring into your soul.

"Do you feel like working here is worth it?"

There is a kind of tenderness in Doyoung's eyes that you don't get to see often. The last time you saw this look was when he was telling a memory of him and his brother when they were kids. "Yeah, I feel like it's worth it."

"Well I'm glad," he says, looking back out into the city. "For someone so young, I didn't expect you to have a lot of profound things to say."

"I'm not that young. And you aren't that old" you say, laughing at his expression. "Not to pry of course, but why do you feel like something is missing?" He remains quiet and his relaxed expression turns stern, a frown on his face almost immediately. You panicked thinking that you pushed too far past the line. "I'm sorry, you really don't have to answer Mr. Kim, I was just-"

"It's okay, you did nothing wrong," he said, trying to reassure you. "My mother makes me feel like a shit show because I'm not looking for anyone to marry."

You opened your mouth to speak, but stopped. This problem of his was completely beyond you. It's not a surprise that he's been avoiding his mother, their family issues all over the tabloids. you wish you could be some sort of support system for him, but you know you can't get that close to him.

"You don't have to say anything. I know you have nothing to say."

"Yeah, I'm sorry," you mumbled. "I know things have been rough with you and your mom these days."

Doyoung blinked and looked over to you. His lips parted, tongue darting out slowly against his lips, wetting them before speaking."You know you're the only person to talk to me like a regular guy?"

You whip your head to him, gulping at his words. "Oh, i must've gotten too comfortable Mr. Kim-"

"I like that you talk to me like a regular person," he chuckled.

You give him a soft laugh, shaking your head. The way doyoung looks at you makes you feel something you shouldn't feel for your boss. But his eyes are piercing, full of emotion and it makes you fall deeper into him. You didn't want to ruin the mood, but you would feel bad if you didn't tell him what happened earlier that day. "Mr. Kim….your mother called the office."

Doyoung sighed, running his face in his hand. "What did she say?"

"Something about," you started hesitantly. "You blocking her number, not going to events, not dating…"

"That old lady always has something to complain about," he sighed. "Thank you for telling me."

You nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line to keep silent. But sometimes you just speak and say things you probably shouldn't, because the way doyoung looks at you for your next sentence makes you want to crawl into a dark corner.

"Well, dating shouldn't be hard for you," you said.

He raised a brow, a smirk pulling on his lips slowly. "What do you mean?"

"W-well I mean you're…" you paused, eyeing him up and down awkwardly.

"I'm…?"

"You're you," you said a bit more enthusiastically than you wanted to. "Well what I wanted to say was that you're rich, handsome…."

"Is that it? Just rich and handsome," he joked, but you didn't take it as a joke. You already overstepped the boundaries multiple times in the last 30 minutes, this could probably be the only moment to save your job.

"N-no! You're funny and honest, fun to talk to. And even though you have this rough guy thing going on, I think you're a pretty soft guy," you said, lips moving 40 miles per hour.

He gave you a chuckle, one that sounded genuine and warm which surprised you. "Ms. Y/n, are you flirting with me right now?"

You blinked rapidly, shaking your head and hands silently as you panicked, making the male laugh. You said no, but he was secretly hoping that you were. He wanted to know if you were as attracted to him as he was to you. He couldn't help himself.

"You're not too bad yourself," he said, turning back to the window.

"Thank you…. you're too nice, but you don't really mean that."

"No, I'm serious," he continued. "You're cool and fun, not too serious but can be serious when you need to be."

Your face was beginning to get hot, fingers gittering at your sides. You couldn't even look at him, afraid you would probably go crazy. You really hoped he would stop talking, but he didn't. It stressed you out.

"Not to mention, you're beautiful."

You gave him a small laugh, trying to cover up the very obvious mental breakdown you were about to have. "Mr.Kim please-"

"You're beautiful. You have the best laugh and the prettiest smile." doyoung was slowly walking towards you, making your body stiffen as he came closer. His gaze was hungry, not able to suppress his desires for you any longer. It was terrible of him, he knew it, he was your boss and practically preying on you at the moment. He was doing something he hated, but he knew you wanted it too.

Doyoung was so close to you, body looking over yours as he stared down at your flustered face. "Mr.Kim-"

"Call me Doyoung."

"But I can't-"

"Yes you can." He spoke so quietly and softly, eyes flickering from yours to your lips. "I wanna hear you say it so I can say I love the way you say my name too."

You were quickly falling under whatever spell he was starting to put you under as he spoke. Your lids dropped, breathing heavily as his hands left his sides and made their way to your waist. "D-Doyoung," you said breathlessly, heart beating faster in his grasp.

He nodded slightly, a smile curling on his lips as he pulled your body closer to his, pressing his chest against yours. "Again."

You gulp, shaking your head as you remove his hands from your waist. "I…we can't do this. I-I'm your secretary."

"Secretary who I like very much." You make it so hard for him to not want to push your buttons a little more. Was doyoung really about to risk everything he built up just to kiss you? Yes, yes he was. Not one of his smartest decisions, but he trusted you. "I liked you for a very long time, you know."

"Really," you ask, brows scrunching slightly.

"Mhm." Doyoung put his hands back on your waist, the adoration in his eyes turning to lust. "I'm doing this against my better judgment, and you know how much I cherish my judgment."

Before you knew it, your eyes fluttered shut and you were the one kissing him instead. Your lips melted into his, hands moving to his shoulder as you pulled him closer. Doyoung kisses you back softly, moving his hands under your blazer squeezing your waist. He felt how raged your breathing was, your heartbeat speeding up as he fondled your body in his hands.

You pulled away, refusing to look at him. He knew you liked him as much as he liked you - it was obvious by the smirk on his face. It was only supposed to be a kiss and end there, but your mind drifted to a place it wasn't supposed to go.

"I need to go home," you said, letting out a sigh.

"No you don't," he protested softly. "I know you don't want to either."

"Mr. Kim-"

"Doyoung," he said. "I want you to call me by name."

"Doyoung," you started, making him smile. "What are you trying to do right now? I mean, we are attracted to each other but this.. what will people think?"

"People won't know unless we tell them," he says nonchalantly. "Besides, I own the entire building you're standing in right now. Whatever I say goes, and I'll never let anyone hurt you."

You looked up at him, worry still painting your face, but you nodded anyway. "Okay, I trust you."

"Good. You should always trust me." He cupped your face softly, kissing you deeply. You kissed him back, lips molding with his just like how you imagined. You wanted to take advantage of this moment while you had it, so you took your hands off his shoulders taking your blazer off. Letting the jacket fall to the floor, you reached back to Doyoung's chest, pulling his tie off him and placing it on his desk.

"I wanna take care of you," he said quietly. "Would you let me do that?"

"Yes." Your answer came out as a whisper as you unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. Doyoung watched you with a hazy expression. your concentrated desperate appearance was doing something to him, he just wanted to fuck you against the window make you cry out his name. He thought it was too cute how your hands were trembling as you unbuttoned his shirt. The only time he sees you this nervous is when he reprimands you for something you may do wrong.

Doyoung slowly starts to pull your tucked blouse out your pencil skirt, making your breath hitch in your throat. "Is this okay with you?"

You nod, removing your hands from his shirt to allow him to pull the fabric off of you. Doyoung marveled at your body. He felt guilty knowing how many times he's fantasized about this moment, the thought of touching you on his mind heavy sometimes. But the guilt went away when he made contact with your skin. Doyoung pulled you closer to him, kissing you as his hands slowly went up your body. He groped you not too roughly to make you flustered, but just enough to enjoy your small gasp. His hand squeezed and massaged your left breast.

"Should I take it off," you mumble as he plays with the lace on your bra. You wait for an answer, but his eyes and hand are too focused on the lace, the only thing going through his head was how pretty the color looked against your skin.

"No," he said, shaking his head. You watched him unbutton and unzip the side of your skirt, cock twitching his pants from excitement. "Let me help you relieve some of your stress from today. I wanna taste you Y/N."

"Can you," you said breathlessly, begging, making him smile too. He tugged your skirt down your legs, fabric bunching around your heels.

"Get on the desk." Doyoung watches you hop on his perfectly organized desk, spreading your legs almost immediately. Your eyes widened at how fast he dropped to the floor, his actions making you even more wet than before.

“I thought about this alot Mr. Kim,” you admitted, eyes glossed from how turned on you were. "I fucking dreamed about this."

"Oh yeah?" Doyoung's entire shirt was off by this point, the expensive fabric laying, somewhere on the floor. His soft hands made their way up your legs, leaning into your inner thighs. He kisses the soft spot of your thighs, making your body shudder sensitively. Doyoung hooked his fingers around your panties, tugging at them to pull the fabric off. You lifted your hips, allowing him to pull them down your legs and off your ankles swiftly.

Doyoung couldn't take his eyes off the sight between your legs. You were glistening, so wet it got on his desk. "Fuck.. you're so pretty baby."

"Don't stare." You started to close your legs, but doyoung forced them back apart, leaning into the closer. You could feel his heavy breathing on your wet core as he kissed your inner thighs.

"Don't get all shy on me now." He placed a soft kiss on your clit, eyes never leaving your face. You let out a soft sigh when he licked your core softly, collecting your arousal on his tongue. Doyoung licks at your clit softly, adding pressure with every other movement. He always thought about what you would sound like, if you were loud or silent, but your soft moans at the moment were prettier than ever. Doyoung sucked your clit softly, making you throw your head back slightly.

"You like that?" Doyoung did it again, smirking to himself when you scrunch your brows.

"Yeah," you sigh, nodding. Doyoung continues to eat you out, your hands tangling in his hair as he licks at you feverishly. His tongue flicked your clit fast, making you tug his hair a bit. "If you do that I'll cum fast," you moaned softly.

He chuckled softly, sucking your clit harshly right after.

"D-Doyoung oh my god," you whimpered, legs starting to come together. He swiftly pushed them apart, allowing you to tug his face closer to your core. Doyoung watched you with a hazy expression as you grinded on his face, hands gripping your thighs. He flattened his tongue against you, letting you grind your core. Your arousal was all over his mouth, his nose constantly nudging your clit every time you moved. Even in the dark in his office he could still see the look of absolute pleasure on your face, taking in the desperation to cum in your eyes and the way your hand trembled on the back of his head.

"I'm so close Doie," you whined softly, making the man below your chuckle softly.

"Doie?"

You paused, looking down at him with sudden alertness. "I'm sorry, if you don't like it, I-"

"No, I love it." He attached his mouth back to your core, sucking and licking at you. "I love it so fucking much."

You threw your head back, brows scrunching as the pleasure continued to build in your stomach. Your moans built higher in pitch, noises so loud the janitors on the floor below could probably hear you. Doyoung moans on your core, the vibrations on your clit driving you mad.

"Cum babygirl, cum for me."

You let go, cumming on his tongue, his lips, his face. Doyoung didn't let up though, still licking up all your release as your legs shook, trying to clamp around his head from the over stimulation. You whined loudly, the feeling of his nose nudging against your sensitive clit making you tear up. After a couple more seconds of overstimulation, Doyoung stopped, looking up at you with the most fucked out expression you've ever seen from anyone.

"Fuck," you laughed softly, "we can add head to list of things I like about you."

"Trust me I can do a lot more than just that." He rose to his feet, immediately pulling you closer to him in a heated kiss. You moaned softly, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue.

"Yeah?" You smiled against his lips, adding tongue into the kiss as you cupped his face softly. You gasp softly as you part your lips from his, looking down at his hand that was now between your legs, fingers rubbing your clit slowly.

"God you're so cute," he chuckled softly. "Cute face, cute tits, cute moans, cute pussy." His deep voice rang through your ears, adding pleasure already soaring through your body. Doyoung kissed your neck, nipping at the skin playfully as he sped up his fingers. He pulled your breast out of the fabric of your bra, enjoying the way you hid your face in his neck at your exposed state. "I'm gonna fuck this cute pussy. How does that sound?"

"Please fuck me," you whined breathlessly, brows furrowing as his mouth attached to your nipple. "I need you so bad, Doie."

Doyoung lifted himself off your body, watching you waste no time in trying to undo his belt. Your fingers fumbled, nails getting in the way of getting it off easily. Doyoung smiled to himself as you struggled, tears pricking the corners of your eyes in frustration. "Calm down, I'm not going anywhere, pretty girl," he said soothingly. He gently removed your hands from his belt, undoing it himself.

Your mouth watered, gulping as you watched him unzip his pants. Doyoung loved watching your reactions, purposely taking his time in front of your impatient disposition. He slowly pulled himself out his pants and boxers, his tip leaking precum as it hit his navel.

You jumped off the desk, running your hands down his chest as you kissed him deeply, biting his lip softly. "Need you to fuck me real good Mr. Kim," you mumbled against his lips.

"Bend over." You did as he said, holding your body up with your arms. You looked so cute to him, checking behind yourself to see when he was going to stretch you wide. You shook your hips, whining softly to him.

"Hurry," you whined. "Need you to fill me so bad."

He chuckled darkly, not bothering to grab a condom out of his wallet before he lined himself at your entrance. He rubbed his leaking tip against your clit, making you moan softly. "fuck."

"You're so wet Y/N," he muttered, marveling at the state between your legs.

"All for you." You wiggled your hips trying to create more friction, but Doyoung took the extra step of lining himself with your core. Doyoung pushed himself into you slowly with a low groan. You were almost immediately overtaken by pleasure, eyes rolling back at the feeling of him stretching you out. He thrusted into you slowly, holding your hips with a tight grip on them.

"You feel so good, shit." He kept thrusting in you, your soft moans and whimpers permeating the air around you. You hadn't even realized that you were bouncing back onto him at the same time until he stopped, wrapping a hand around your neck as he whispered in your ear. "Keep fucking yourself on my cock princess. You're doing such a good job, making your boss happy."

"Y-yes Doie, i'll make you happy," you said in a choked moan as he squeezed your neck.

"Good girl," he murmured. He let go of your neck, looking down to watch you desperately move against him. He smacked your ass firmly as you started going faster, making you halt your movements. "Did I tell you to go faster?"

"N-no," you whined softly.

He grabbed your hair, pulling it as he started fucking you slow. Deep slow strokes made you whine loudly, cunt fluttering around him. You needed to cum, you wanted to cum so badly. You need him to fuck you hard and fast, but the painfully slow pace he had going was driving you insane.

"Faster Doyoung. Please," you cried out, but all he did was let out a deep laugh.

"Pretty little thing," he mumbled. Doyoung began thrusting in you hard and fast, making your jaw drop in pleasure as you arched your back to feel him more. "You like having a older man's cock in you?"

"Yes yes, I love it Doie," you whimpered weakly. Suddenly he pulled out of you m, leaving you with the feeling of emptiness, but not for long. He turned you around, manhandling you as he lifted you by your hips, placing you on the desk. Doyoung forced you legs open, pushing himself back into you without warning.

"Fuck," he groaned through gritted teeth. Doyoung watched you, scanning your body as you laid on the desk. He lifted your legs, pushing them to your chest as he fucked you at the same pace as before. He loved the faces and noises you made, couldnt take his eyes off you. The both of you never thought you would have this much chemistry, but everything feels perfect. Doyoung is fucking you like he's been doing it for years already, your body melting into his perfectly.

You reached down, rubbing your clit to reach your high. "Keep touching yourself, just like that baby," he groaned. The grip he has on your legs got tighter as he kept going, feeling himself closer and closer to cumming.

"I'm gonna cum Doyoung," you panted, rubbing you clit harder.

Doyoung's brows furrowed at the sensation of you squeezing around him, moaning softly. "Cum baby, cum for me. Cum all over my cock." His words were jumbled, slurred from all the pleasure he was taking. Doyoung moaned loudly, the feeling of you squeezing and cumming on his cock shooting through his body. Your body tensed beneath his, legs shaking as you whimpered his name over and over while cumming hard. Your lips were suddenly captured with his as he leaned down kissing your messily.

"I'm gonna cum Y/N, shit," he said on your mouth. Doyoung kept thrusting in you, making your eyes roll back form the sensitivity.

"Oh my god," you cried. Doyoung's movements became more erratic as he came closer and closer. Soon enough, doyoung was pulling out of you, cumming on your stomach, some ropes of white shooting to your chest.

Nothing but the sounds of deep breathes filled the air, the smell of sex all over the room. Your eyes were closed, so you didn't see Doyoung looking at you as if he saw an angel. He let go of your legs, wrapping an arm around the small of your back as he weakly lifted you into a seated position.

"That was…"

"Something," he finished with a small laugh. You looked at him, giving him a small smile as you sat trying to catch your breath.

"It's pretty late now I bet," he said, brushing his damp bangs back. Doyoung looked at you, then at your very naked state, covered in his cum. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

You didn't say anything, just looked at him with a tired smile. "Thank you for not cumming inside me at least."

"Why? You don't want my kid," he joked, grabbing tissues off his shelf. Doyoung handed you some tissues, letting you clean your self off as he fixed himself up.

"I'm 24. I'm not ready for kids," you laughed. You paused, looking at him through your lashes as he fastened his belt. "But I am ready for a relationship."

He smiled picking up his shirt from the floor. "Yeah?"

"Mhm," you answered.

"Well…that can be arranged," he said, fingers fumbling with his buttons. You moved his hands, looking at him as you buttoned his shirt, smirk tugging at your lips. "But are you serious about this? You're young, and I don't want you to feel obligated because you work for me."

"I don't feel obligated at all," you said calmly, carefully getting off the desk, your heels clicking with the floor. "I always liked you, and it obvious you liked me too."

He leaned against the floor to ceiling window crossing his arms as he watched you dress. Your small glances were making his heart race, something that hasn't happened since he was a teenager. He walked up to you, grabbing your hips as he kissed you deep, biting your lip softly.

"How do you usually get homw," he asked as he pulled away.

"An Uber."

"I'm I'm taking you home tonight okay," he said, making you nod. "Is that okay with you?"

"Anything you do is okay with me." Doyoung kissed your forehead, smiling to himself.

He never thought of himself as much as a lover, but maybe you'll pull it out of him. And he would love to see you try. All the years of trying to keep personal life and work separate gone to waste, but was it worth it? Hopefully, yes.

[thebindingofpillo]

It’s been a while since I did a proper character introduction so this will be a little all over the place but MAGGY queen of my heart, best girl 2kforever is here!!!! Read all about her under the cut.

As with everyone else in the cast, Magdalene is a Normal Person trying to move through life the best way she can. While she’s aware or the existence of the supernatural, her strategy is to chug along and having a normal life in spite of all this. So who cares if the Angel of Destruction is chilling in her living room? That’s her boyfriend and he’s gonna help her with dinner, don’t be rude.

Her and Isaac are adopted siblings - you can find out about Isaac here - and they both have an artistic drive BUT while Isaac’s passion lies in figurative arts, Maggy is more of a writing type. Personality wise, I envisioned her as a really sweet, passionate girl, but also with an extremely short fuse. Quick to anger! But also very quick to calm down if people don’t respond to her anger - Judas is a master of this trick, while Isaac can get as emotional as her and their fight usually devolve into screaming matches.

This doesn’t mean she’s constantly looking for a fight, in fact she knows how to keep her cool if the situation calls for it. Her emotions only get the best of her if she’s with people she trusts and if the situation is dire enough (like discovering your beloved boyfriend killed the son of God…). She’s also a huge nerd! And a bit feral. Could either ramble for hours about her interests or eat a bell pepper like it's an apple. That's why her boys love her so much. Her and Judas met when they were in middle school and have been inseparable ever since. They bonded over their mutual interest in history and literature, so much so that they ended up pursuing a higher education in their respective fields. But while Judas had no problems getting a masters, Maggy spent years struggling to complete a base three-year degree* and ended up dropping out entirely. In the years she wasn’t studying, she focused on writing and publishing her first book, but that didn’t go so well either. She eventually ended up applying for a job at a kindergarten not too far from her home - where she met Lilith - all the while still trying her hand at writing. She’s currently working on a second book, with the help of Isaac (illustrations) and Judas (research).

*I am using my own experience with Italian university, I don’t know how American colleges work lol sorry. Anyway in Italy university is divided as such

Laurea triennale (three-year degree) - 3 years. This is the basic degree.

Laurea magistrale (masters degree) - 2 years. You can only access this after completing the three-year basic degree.

Dottorato (doctorate) - 3 years. Can only be accessed after completing the 2 year masters degree.

If you wanted to get a doctorate you’d need to go through 8 years of school. Judas has completed 5 years of studying (therefore has a masters degree) and is now taking a sabbatical before working on his doctorate. Magdalene dropped out after a couple of years and never completed the basic three-year degree. Hope this is clear enough!

Anyway, dropping out of school didn’t make Magdalene any less educated. She loves learning! And both her and Judas have amassed a huge library filled with every single book that captured their attention. She’s also very curious and has a knack for teaching herself new things, like calligraphy, cooking, and even lerning new languages. Everything that catches her attention - from mushroom growing, to crystals, to ancient religions - is free game!

Despite all this, dropping out of school and seeing her first book flop did put a damper on her overall mood. While her loved ones reassure her that her worth isn’t defined by her successes or lack of thereof, deep down she feels like a failure. Sure, she has a job, but idling away the rest of her life at a 9 to 5 isn’t really a thing she sees herself doing. At the same time, she’s afraid of putting too much hope into this new book, because another failure might push her to give up writing altogether and make her truly miserable.

As for her religious belief, she’s a born again Christian. She had a slight crisis of faith after highschool - nothing too serious, she just didn’t see the point in going to mass every week and was frustrated that this thing that was supposed to bring her joy felt more like a chore than anything. With her being a rebellious teenager at the time, she did a complete 180 and converted to satanism for a while. Her parents didn’t really support her decision, but they didn’t stop her either, as teenagers are teenagers and they just wanted their girl to be happy (and not hurt anyone or herself in the process).

During this phase of her life she dabbled a little in witchcraft, and her knowledge of tarots and crystals comes from here. She didn’t do much more than that though, as she was still a bit skeptical of the whole magic ordeal.

Eventually she met Azazel, who was nothing short of horrified to see her proudly announcing she was a satanist, since he had direct experience with the guy and could attest he was an asshole. Seeing a real demon from hell scared her half to death but since he was very sweet and knowledgeable, he managed to help her find her faith again and answer all the questions she might have had in the meantime. This does not mean that Magdalene is now the stereotypical Good Christian Girl Trademark. While her faith in God is stronger than ever, she still takes all the rules imposed by the human Church with a grain of salt. She’s not a zealot, but still goes to mass and tries to love her neighbour the best way she can (even when it’s difficult!).

More stuff (rapid fire)

She likes to joke she’s the world’s worst Catholic as she still reads tarots from time to time and stili has her pendulum and crystal collection

While she still has an interest in divination and magic, it’s from a purely cultural perspective now.

Her new book is about… the adventures of Perseus. I am getting meta with my story lol

I had the idea she was able to mend clothes and sew, but I don’t think it fits her too much anymore, so now whenever she needs something done she gives it to Isaac.

[luchitohamilton]

lewis being interview by margot laffite for canal+ at the qatar gp '23

I act like a kid all the time. I’m not embarrassed about it; I love having fun. So that’s why, you know, I’m always skydiving, surfing or I’m skiing or I’m riding my bike or whatever might be, that’s me being a kid. And that’s something I refuse to ever let go.

transcript below :-)

So Lewis. I don't want today to talk about the World champion, the Formula 1 driver, I would like to talk about Lewis Carl Davidson Hamilton, if you don’t mind. Can you describe the kind of kid you were at home and at school? What kind of kid were you?

[Smiling] Did you ever had a show called Dennis the Menace?

Oh yes of course.

You did?

Of that kind, yeah. Denis la Malice.

I was like Dennis the Menace 2.0. [laughs] I was climbing trees, I was just always riding my bike down the fastest hill. Naturally super competitive in everything that I did and, uhm, my dad helped me concentrate that energy into racing and that’s where stability came.

We know you were a huge fan of Ayrton Senna, but did you watch like every single F1 race, documentaries about F1?

No, when I was a kid I only watched documentaries on Ayrton Senna, read his books. Anything to do with Ayrton I would have it, whether it was a coffee mug or, not that I drink coffee as a kid, but I was watching Gran Prix from like since I was like 4 with my dad on the weekends. Yeah, Sunday sitting with my dad watching races was one of the best times, I remember.

If you could go back in time, where and when would it be?

It would probably be when I was living with my mum, before I was 8, so, yeah.

You are running the world so, how difficult is it to build friendships?

Yeah, it’s definitely not the easiest I would say. My two closest friends are from school, yeah, they are my brothers. Places where I’ve found good friendships are obviously on my job, and then when I’m doing music, when I’m working with musicians, it’s just like a different realm and there I’ve built some incredible relationships also.

What does being a grown up mean to you? Is it like tiresome to be more conscious of the impact you have on things and people, rather than the pleasant innocence of being a child?

I act like a kid all the time. I’m not embarrassed about it; I love having fun. So that’s why, you know, I’m always skydiving, surfing or I’m skiing or I’m riding my bike or whatever might be, that’s me being a kid. And that’s something I refuse to ever let go.

When you play a game with some children, maybe your family, nieces and nephews, do you let them win?

No, I try to win! I just [laughs] and they are good, they are getting good, so I have to get my wins while I can. But, my dad never let me win anything when I was a kid. I think is good to learn how to lose anyways, so [laughs]

Are you always on time or sometimes you’re late?

No, I’m always late. The only time I’m ever on time is when I’m getting in the car to race. But like if I’m going for a flight, I’m always late. I don’t know, I like the limit, yeah. [jokingly] I like getting there around the limit, I like the rush.

What are your thoughts and feelings about Max Verstappen? The man he is, the kind of champion.

He’s done an exceptional job. I think the team has done an amazing job. Collectively they truly deserve the success. Max has been faultless this year, he’s not made any mistakes. I only hope that there’s a time when I’ll be able to put up a fight for him.

When you quit F1 would you still want race like Dakar or the 24 Hours of Le Mans?

I currently don't really have any, like, zero, like, feelings to do those things. I love motorbikes, I’ve always loved Moto GP, still love it today. I have 2 super bikes. I think I probably always just gonna take my bikes out. I won’t compete professionally in anything ever again. It takes 10,000 hours to be, you know, a master of something else. I wanna spend that 10,000 hours on being the best dad or something like that, you know, or running my businesses in the best way I can. Where all my energy and focus will go to. For now, I’ll continue to skydive, I’ll continue to surf, those are probably the, riding the bikes, surfing and skydiving, those are the 3 fun things that I’ll make sure I always do.

Merci Beaucoup, Lewis.

Merci.

It was a pleasure as always. Thank you.

[ladybugsimblr]

Q: I don’t need the Bailey Kay Superstar Social Media Special. Maybe an assistant, so I don’t miss out on a dope opportunity because my inbox is flooded with enthusiastic butterflies. BK: Aht Aht! This is not about the Hive! This is about the thirsties slipping and sliding into your dms. My butterflies know how to act. Q: Oh really?! BK: Yes really.

Q: That’s funny because… let me see… here… Yeah I definitely got nudes from… wildbutterfly and a sexybfly4liiiife with four i’s. BK: So we’re keeping messages with nudes now, Quinton??? Q: Damn. The government?? Penny, help! Penny: You two are hilarious. This is quality entertainment. Maybe we should reconsider the reality show. BK&Q: NO!

BK: What’s with the face sir? Are we boring you? Khalil: I’m just wondering when we’re gonna talk about the elephant in the room. BK: ( Shit. How does he know?? ) Penny: Khalil, now is not the time. We’re celebrating. Q: No, get it off your chest because you’re definitely killing the vibe.

-

This was wordy so continue reading below…

Khalil: Look, I gave in with the residency decision, but I’m not rolling over on this retirement thing. I think it’s stupid and a huge fucking mistake. BK: Well damn. Khalil: I don’t get it B. You love this. Music is life. Performing is life. Your fans. All of it. Why would you stop now? BK: You’re right. I do love it. And music has been my life, but I’ve done it all. I’ve accomplished every one of my goals when it comes to being an entertainer. I’m ready to move on.

Khalil: This is crazy. You’re at the top of your game. Now is when you cement your legend status. All the greats are still recording and performing into their adult years, some even elders! BK: I hear you, but right now I just want to do things on my terms and time. I want to focus on my family. I want to help other artists make their dreams come true. Maybe even discover something else I love. Khalil: This industry moves fast. You know that. If you quit, there’s no guarantee you’ll get your spot back. Everyone will move on to the next hot thing. BK: I’m not worried about that. If I come back it will be out of love for the music. I don’t need to chase the fame and the top spot anymore.

Khalil: Did you forget about the 2 albums left on your contract? BK: No, I- Q: Are you really bringing up contracts right now?! Khalil: No one is listening to logic so yes I’m talking about legal obligations. Q: Clearly you didn't hear one thing she just said. You’re still only worried about what she can do for you.

Khalil: Q, stay in your lane. I don’t tell you how to do your job. Don’t tell me how to do mine. Q: Maybe you should think about something else other than the job. There is more to life. Khalil: Here you go with your speeches on family life. Focusing on the job got me, your wife and you the success you have now. You conveniently forget that. The family sim thing is for you. That’s great. But let me and B do what we do best and make sure we all stay winning. BK: It doesn’t have to be an either or situation. Both can be possible. Khalil: Retirement is not both. Retirement is quitting and that’s not the Global Superstar BK that I signed. It’s sounding like Bailey being influenced by Quinton.

Q: I don't like your tone. BK: Khalil, you’re about to cross a line and we really don’t have to go there. Khalil: I’m just being real because you two are not thinking straight. I swear you must be pregnant or something because that’s the only time you come at me with the home life work life balance shit. But even you two wouldn’t be that reckless.

*crickets*

Penny: Bailey… Khalil: Are you fucking kidding me?!

BK: We- Khalil: This is bullshit. I’m out. Penny: Khalil!

[idkwhatever580]

Her pt. 2

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Prompt: after y/n gets rescued what is in store in the next chapter of her life with Natasha?

Warnings: cursing

Pronouns: she/her

A/N: I’m super excited about this one. Make sure you read chapter one first so you have some insight on how nat and y/n met!!! I hope y’all like it :)))

Here’s part one :))) I’m working on a master list I swear -> https://www.tumblr.com/idkwhatever580/749750524015984640/her-pt-1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n’s pov

I cannot believe it’s been a whole year since I met Natasha.

She and the avengers immediately took me in and I found myself going over to the compound much more than I expected.

I still have my house in Long Island. But I never stay there really anymore. Ever since Natasha and I started dating I haven’t spent too much time there.

It only took three months for me to virtually move in with her. Although I do wish she’d come with me sometimes.

But I don’t really worry about that since one of the floors in the tower is my new soup kitchen. It’s open twenty four hours a day and there are at least 2-6 people working there at all times.

As promised Tony Stark and SHEILD helped me get my business up and running.

I make homes for the homeless. Sometimes they are bigger more communal homes and sometimes they are tiny one or two person homes.

My first two homes are side by side. They were for gran and pops. They were always my biggest supporters and still are.

My program has changed so many lives. There are so many people out there who just need a little bit of love.

Sometimes the homeless people will use the homes as a forever home but most often they get jobs. Become more financially stable and independent and then they will move out. It’s really great. Because I see so many people I’ve helped become something. Someone.

There are so many who have told me they thought they would never amount to anything. And a few of them have become very successful even as far as becoming a CEO.

I am incredibly proud of my work.

And honestly it’s so exciting to see what changes I can make every single day.

For example. Today is the release date of my nationwide program.

All over the country a program is being launched where homeless people can find shelter, rehabilitation centers, and other necessities for free so they can have a second chance at life. I am doing some interviews today.

Unfortunately Natasha isn’t here. She has a mission. I’m a little sad that she won’t be with me tonight as the program launches but the show must go on.

I check my watch and see it is time to leave for the opening ceremony and I go downstairs to find Happy.

I smile and say

“What’s up Happy! Are you ready?”

He smiles sadly and says

“Yes I am ready. But I must inform you that I am only your chauffeur tonight. Unfortunately I cannot be your plus one.”

I frown when he says this because he was supposed to fill in for Natasha and now I have nobody.

“Oh. Well. That’s okay!”

I smile and cover up my disappointment. He drives me to the red carpet and helps me out. I kiss his cheek accidentally leaving a lipstick stain and I say

“Thank you. Have a good night Happy.”

He usually goes home and I have a different driver drive me home.

I walk to the red carpet by myself and put on my best smile. I make it about halfway through the carpet and an arm snakes around me and this mystery person says

“Am I late?”

“Oh!”

I jump and put my hand to my chest and I look at my beautiful girlfriend with a huge smile on my face and I say

“Jesus! You scared me!”

My brain doesn’t even register that she’s back since I’m in the zone and then I do a double take and say

“Wait! What!?”

She giggles when I realize and I slap her chest and say

“I thought you were at a mission?!”

She chuckles and says.

“I got off early enough to make it. That’s why Happy isn’t here with you. I tried my best. But I couldn’t get the best suit”

She looks down at her suit and I look her up and down and say

“You look amazing baby. Perfect right here with me.”

I smile and give her a kiss. We always wear matching lipstick colors so that we can kiss and not get it messed up.

Then I put my hand on her chest and we keep taking pictures.

The rest of the night goes smoothly and I give a speech. I talk to a few people who have helped my journey and then we head home.

I get changed and wait in bed for Natasha. She takes a while so I complain

“Nattyyy”

She comes out of the bathroom and smiles and says

“Yes baby?”

I hold my arms out for her and pout

“I missed you”

She gets into bed with me and says

“I missed you too.”

Once we’re comfy she looks me in the eyes and says

“Goodnight my love. You have done such amazing things for so many people and I am so lucky to be yours.”

I smile and say

“I love you baby. Goodnight”

We kiss and drift off into a nice comfortable sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: guys this is so bad. It feels rushed and blah. Idk how I feel about it. I became so unmotivated and just wanted to move on to the next thing but I didn’t want to just leave it. 😭🔫

[kick-a-long]

Hi I'm the previous anon and I have to say - everything you added was spot on!

I want to say something extra that has been bothering me for a long time.

I can't help but feel like there are specific (major) traits of antisemitism that always appear in every other form of bigotry. As a person of many different minority groups, I am not saying antisemitism is worst than all the other forms of hatred or downplaying the rest at all. But I see these traits that I feel like are inherently antisemitic appear everywhere else and I can't stop thinking "this shows bigotry starts and stops with jew hate"?

For example, I'm from country A (not saying where for personal reasons). In this country, (mainly) Arab Christians have moved here due to religious persecution. They are a very small group and have become wealthy due to 1) transferring of wealth or 2) they used their intelligence to make businesses. Due to assimilation into whiteness, they have become "white people" as well. As a result they are victims of the "they control the country and are behind everything bad" narrative. I would argue that "they control the world" is a uniquely antisemitic belief and it goes to show how people default to antisemitism to destroy any group. Additionally, I would argue antisemitism is truly people's map to the world and they use it to navigate. Moreover, Indians in Africa had also been accused of doing the same "controlling". Now there is a lot to be said about assimilation and doing anything for power and minorities being pit against each other for division but regardless of the nuance, these negative emotions (anger, frustration, sadness, etc) tend to lead back to antisemitism? Indians in Tanzania experienced random acts of mob violence in the 1920s/30s similar to pogroms (important to note: these were not common but their existence still highlights something).

Human beings love an easy, concrete group to hate and project onto hence the reason why the left loves nazis so much (they are their easy punching bags). As a result, the hatred stems from an antisemitic belief and morphs into anti- whatever the "nuisance" is, no matter how justifiable the hatred is.

Like when people hate immigrants and chant "they will not replace us and take our jobs", am I not supposed to think everything is a big antisemitic conspiracy?

!!!this this this^^^^ I agree so much!!!

antisemitism is older than racism, literally. it was around before the concepts of race or nationhood. it was around when feudalism and slave labor was the main economic system. jews were blamed for being poor and stupid just as often as for being smart and rich. jews have always been a convenient 'other' because we have always had to identify as a diasporic group from somewhere else with different customs based on living somewhere else.

antisemitism is in most other forms of bigotry imo because it's the prototype for it, since the roman empire and the destruction of the second temple. probably before.

I think it's pretty accurate to point to aspects of it in other bigotry because it's where hateful troupes were tested and popularized for thousands of years. what's wild is that people don't even realize what antisemitism does or how it's useful to maintain power structures. it's the most time tested way to scapegoat and distract from real problems and unite against real power structures that fuck up people's lives. you see antisemitism spike around economic crisis or huge cultural swings from liberal to traditional, but you never see the blame fall on changing the laws that caused the economy to crash or try to build bridges between liberal and traditional aspects of society. you just have the scapegoat of jews, or minority populations, or homosexuals, or X, or Y... but eventually the story is always explained with jews as architects of it.

conservative states could look at the successes of LGBTQ entertainers from those states and celebrate how their tradition bore that success (true or false) but instead they reject it. southern states could celebrate the black civil rights leaders from there and the parts of their culture that generated that rebelliousness (true or false) but they reject it. you can see it all over. jews are the only ones who are adopted as "from here" when they succeed and "jewish cabal" when the tide changes. it's the conditional oppression and conditional acceptance that alienates us from all other groups.

all bigotry is based on antisemitism but antisemitism is different than all other bigotry, imo.

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton is interviewed on media day, baku - september 12, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Ted Kravitz: "Good afternoon." Lewis: "Good afternoon." Kravitz: "I've only got one hit, so if I can ask a two-part question, I wanna know about- Sorry?" Lewis: [laughs] "Pick carefully." Kravitz: "I will. I certainly will. I've been thinking about it quite… Well, I wanna know about you, this weekend. Seems odd nobody's asked you so far. You're looking for a third win in the season. One hopes it could be either here or Singapore, a place you've been succeessful in. What are your chances of that, and the other part of it was, thinking back to… I'm an old man. Thinking back to 2007, had McLaren done that differently in team orders, you could have beaten Kimi to that year's world championship." Lewis: "Yep." Kravitz: "They've now said that they're gonna favor Lando, albeit 63 points behind Max, for this year's world championship. I just thought whether you thought that was too little, too late, or a good idea. But first to your weekend." Lewis: "So we're coming from not the greatest result the last two races. We're working very hard to try… We still have a good car, and I think it's just trying to optimize it. We've never really done a spectacular job here in Azerbaijan, but I think we're asking all the right questions. We're gonna try to really maximize the practice sessions, and definitely hope that we can have a better weekend than we had in the last two. Reverting on some of the changes that we made going into those two weekends, as well, on upgrades, just to try and test which one is right. And then on McLaren, it's my old family and I'm just really happy to see them back up there, and I think it's probably been a long time since they've been in that position so this is all new… newer. I mean, probably most likely all the people that are in the team today are not all the people that were there when I was there, and so even for those, it's the first time that they're having such a competitive car and I think they've been handling it well. And naturally, like everyone that's challenging for wins and for a championship, mistakes will be made. But again, I'm not running the team, so I can't say when or if they should've or shouldn't have… Yeah." Kravitz: "Thank you."

[time jump] Journalist #2: "We're making a focus on the visibility, the vision you have in the car. Can you take us through the evolution of it, and the car, is it changing for the better, you think?" Lewis: "No, visibility is way worse than it ever was, [laughs] at least in my time. We had much smaller cars when I first joined, or we didn't have the halo. The tires were smaller; we didn't have the little hubcap things going over the wheel. So yeah, vsiibility is definitely narrowed down. Also the visors on the helmets are smaller, like the window is smaller than it ever used to be, with safety going up, so yeah." Journalist #2: "So how do you adapt to this?" Lewis: [laughs] "Luckily we've got good eyes, so just you change it… Like seat position, you have to sit a little higher than we did back in the day. Back in the day I used to sit super low, as where now I have to sit a little bit higher to be able to see over those big tires. And you just have to learn to look even further ahead and plan a little bit." [time jump] Journalist #3: "Guess we've had the news this week that Adrian Newey has chosen to go to Aston Martin. He had been rumored to be considering Ferrari. Would working with him have been a nice little tick-off for you in your very illustrious career?" Lewis: "Yeah, I mean, I spoke about it before. I think anyone would wanna work with Adrian and it would have been nice, but it's just one person, and what I'm most excited about is working with a whole team of people that are passionate and not had a huge amount of success, or at least a championship, in a long, long time, and it'd be great to go and join them and try and get on that journey together."