#i have been desperate to figure this out since october

[cattons]

oliver is reading edward de bono (originator of the term lateral thinking) and sinister street by compton mackenzie (coming of age about an english public school boy who goes to oxford, one of evelyn waugh's favourites) btw if u even care

[iuchamjohta]

For the better part 1 ft Jihyo

Hi all, I know i said sex swinger cruise part 2 will come out at the end of October, but I am having trouble writing some parts of it, so it is slightly delayed. Someone requested a Jihyo fic and I decided to try something new and write it in 3rd person! Enjoy!

Word count : 6354

Tags: Cheating, tit job

Tonight was special; her boyfriend Sungbin had finally returned after two long years of working abroad and Jihyo was determined to make it unforgettable. Their relationship had been a whirlwind of concert tours and distant phone calls, with only fleeting moments to connect.

Each late-night video chat had left her longing and eager for real intimacy. Jihyo genuinely believed that no number of fingers nor dildos could replace the real thing. The thought of finally getting some actions drove her more excited than ever. They had each other for a few days, since Twice world tour had just ended and she was going to try out every fantasy she had ever dreamed of.

Jihyo slipped into the sexiest outfit she owned. Standing in front of the mirror, she admired her curvy figure, dressed in a blue laced lingerie set that accentuated her full, round breasts that her bra could barely contain. She tied her hair in a high pony tail, a mischievous smile played on her lips as she anticipated the night's events. 

The doorbell rang, sending a rush of excitement through Jihyo. She took a deep breath, and naughtily opened the door in just her lingerie. Sungbin stood there, momentarily speechless. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of her—his heart raced at the sight of her in that figure-hugging outfit.

“Wow,” he finally managed, “You look… incredible.”

Jihyo smirked, leaning against the doorframe. “Are you going to keep staring, or are you going to come in?”

He shook his head, snapping out of his daze. “Sorry, I just��wow. It’s been too long.”

“Two years, to be exact,” she pouted, stepping aside to let him in. “You’d better make the most of it.”

As he stepped inside, the warmth of her presence enveloped him. He closed the door behind him and turned to face her, starting deeply into Jihyo’s eyes. “I intend to,” he said with a certain passion in his eyes.

“Good,” Jihyo said, taking a step closer. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long.”

“Me too,” he replied, a smile breaking across his face.

In a swift motion, Jihyo closed the distance between them, her hands cupping his face as she pulled him into a passionate kiss. Their lips melded together, tongues entwining exemplifying the neediness and desperation. The absence of touch between them have caused this built up of desire and they were desperate to satisfy it tonight.

Sungbin's hands roamed over Jihyo's body, gripping her hips and pulling her closer. He could feel the heat radiating from her, his own cock slowly coming to life in the process.

Breaking the kiss, Jihyo trailed her lips along his jawline, nipping and sucking gently. She whispered in his ear, her breath hot against his skin, "I've missed you, baby."

Sungbin groaned, his hands now buried in Jihyo's hair to pull her up and holding her head as he kissed her fiercely again. He loved the sweet taste of her lips, as their tongue fought for dominance, exploring every inch of each other’s mouth. "You've been a naughty girl, Jihyo," he murmured between kisses.

“Mmm, I have” her hands sliding down his chest unbuttoning his shirt with ease. “And I am going to be naughtier with you right here, right now”

As Jihyo's nimble fingers undid the last button, Sungbin's shirt fell open, revealing his body. He was averagely built but Jihyo loved him not for his body anyways. She ran her hands over his skin, feeling his skin and the warmth of his body. Her touch was electric, sending sparks of pleasure through him.

Sungbin pulled back, his eyes needy and desperate. "Take me to the bedroom, Jihyo. I want to feel you, all of you."

With a wicked giggle, Jihyo took his hand and led him down the hall, every step leading them closer to the promised fulfilment of their needs. The anticipation was killing them both, their desire building with every moment that passed. As they entered the bedroom, Jihyo closed the door behind them, before moving teasingly towards the bed.

As Jihyo approached the bed, she swayed her hips seductively, Sungbin's breath quickened, he could feel his cock straining tighter against his pants as he stared at her movements, slowly being hypnotised by the swinging of her ass.

She climbed onto the bed, before beckoning a finger for Sungbin to come over.

“You like what you see, baby? Jihyo seductively teased.

Sungbin's breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight of her. Her breasts, full and heavy, strained against the lace as if trying to burst out and her hips, curved, he needed Jihyo and he needed her badly. He stepped forward joining her on the bed, his hands sliding around her waist, pulling her close.

Their lips met in another passionate kiss, tongues dancing, and hands exploring each other's bodies. Sungbin cupped her full breasts, his thumbs teasing her erect nipples, through the thin fabric. With a swift motion, he unhooked the bra, leaving her breast in display of its full glory.

“You’re incredible, I can’t get enough of you”

Jihyo smiled “Then don’t hold back baby. Show me how much you want me.”

Sungbin lowered his head towards her chest. His warm breath washed over her nipples, causing them to pebble even further. Jihyo arched her back, offering herself to him, as Sungbin took one nipple into his mouth, sucking gently at first, then with increasing fervor. His tongue flicked and teased, sending jolts of pleasure straight to her core. She moaned, her fingers tightening in his hair, urging him on.

Sungbin switched to her other breast, lavishing the same attention on it, while his hand cupped the one he had just pleasured, squeezing and kneading it gently. Jihyo's head fell back, her eyes fluttering closed as she reveled in the sensations.

"You taste so fucking good," Sungbin murmured between licks and sucks. His hand slid down her body, reaching the waistband of her panties. With a swift motion, he slipped them off, leaving Jihyo completely exposed and wanting.

As Sungbin continued to feast on her breasts, his fingers found her snatch, sliding effortlessly into her warm folds. Jihyo gasped, her hips thrusting forward, seeking more of his touch. He stroked her clit, circling it with his thumb, while his fingers plunged in and out of her slick pussy.

"Oh yes, more Sungbin”

Sungbin's mouth left her breast, and he looked up at her with passion. "I want to taste all of you,"

Taking a step back, his eyes feasted on her, taking in every inch of her flawless skin, the curves that drove him wild. Jihyo smiled, her heart pounding with excitement, knowing that her body drove her boyfriend wild.

Kneeling before her, Sungbin gently spread her legs, revealing her glistening pussy. Jihyo's breath caught in her throat as she watched him lean forward, his tongue darting out to tease her sensitive bud. He licked her slowly, savoring her flavor, before plunging his tongue deep inside her, eliciting a moan from Jihyo.

"Mmm, you're so delicious," Sungbin groaned, his words muffled against her flesh. He lapped at her hungrily, his tongue flicking her clit with each pass. Jihyo's hands moved to his head, threading her fingers through his hair, holding him wanting more pleasure.

“More please”

Sungbin added his fingers, sliding them with ease while his tongue continued to dance over her sensitive bundle of nerves. His thrusted his fingers the best he could and drove them deeper with every thrust, yet Jihyo felt rather unsatisfied, she felt something was missing but she could not pinpoint exactly what it was. Chasing more pleasure, she arches her back and push her hips towards Sungbin, hoping this would help.

After a few more moments realising this was still not good enough, Jihyo decided to take control of the situation. She pushed him gently onto his back, straddling him, her pussy just inches from his face.

With that, she began to grind her hips, rubbing her wetness against his mouth. Sungbin moaned, his tongue darting out to taste her. Jihyo's pussy slowly became wetter in this position, she loved the way she could control the pleasure she received and the way Sunbgin was made to worship her with his mouth, licking and sucking eagerly without any protest.

"Mmm, that's it," she encouraged, her voice breathy. "Eat me, Sungbin. Make me cum with your mouth."

Sungbin eagerly obeyed, he was lapping away eagerly at the juice that was flowing. Jihyo bucked her hips more vigorously, grinding harder her moans getting louder with every moment. But just as she was on the brink of orgasm. Sungbin pulled away, panting.

“Jihyo, sorry could you help take care of this first” Sungbin pointed at the bulging tent at his pants which was painfully erected for some quite some time.

Frustrated, Jihyo got off Sungbin. Despite her frustration, she did not want to come across as simply using him as her sex toy, after all she believed that a relationship was about giving as well.

“I want to taste you, Sungbin, to feel you full in my mouth” Jihyo said, trying to maintain the passion between them.

As she sank to her knees before him, Sungbin's breath quickened. He was already hardened, his cock throbbed as it responded to her words. Jihyo's hands reached for his belt, unbuckling it with practiced ease. She unbuttoned his pants and slid them down his legs, revealing his straining erection. Sungbin was under average in size about 4 inches but at this point Jihyo still believe size didn’t matter, it was simply all about love.

Her fingers wrapped around his length, stroking him gently, eliciting a low groan from Sungbin. Jihyo leaned forward, her breath hot against his sensitive skin as she teased the head of his cock with her tongue. Sungbin's hands tangled in her hair, guiding her, urging her on.

"That's it, Jihyo," he urged, his voice thick with desire. "Suck me, baby."

Jihyo obliged, taking him into her mouth, her lips sliding down his length. She sucked and teased, her tongue swirling around the head, driving Sungbin wild. Her hands cupped his balls, massaging them gently as she worked her magic. Sungbin's eyes rolled back in pleasure, his head thrown back as he surrendered to the sensations.

Jihyo's mouth moved faster, her lips sliding up and down his shaft, she could easily take his entire length granted it was not that much of a challenge with his size anyways, but to Sungbin, this felt felt incredible. Sungbin's breathing grew ragged, his hips thrusting gently, meeting her rhythm. The room was filled with sounds of Sungbin's desperate grunts.

"I'm gonna cum, Jihyo," Sungbin warned, his voice strained.

This had merely been less than 5 minutes but Sungbin was already aroused beyond measure. Jihyo only increased her pace, her mouth working feverishly. She wanted to taste him, to feel his release on her tongue. Sungbin's hands tightened in her hair, his body tensing as he climaxed. Jihyo swallowed him down, taking every drop, her mouth working until he was spent.

Sungbin slumped back against the bed, his body trembling with the aftermath of his orgasm. Jihyo smiled up at him, her lips glistening with his essence. 

"That was incredible, Jihyo," Sungbin managed, 

Jihyo's eyes sparkled "Oh, baby, I'm just getting started."

“Hold on, I need a 10-minute break”

Jihyo remained positive, believing that she too would have her fair share of pleasure, and this would not be a one-sided session. Jihyo continued to touch herself chasing any form of pleasure she could get in the meanwhile.

“Hyo, mind helping me get it up again” Sungbin asked pointing towards his flacid cock.

Jihyo reached again for his flacid cock. With gentle strokes, she tried to bring it back to life. Noticing that Sungbin was staring intently at her huge chest, she knew what could get him back to full hardness in a second.

Leaning forward, she positioned his cock between her ample cleavage, the soft flesh enveloping his length. Jihyo's hands cupped her breasts, holding them in place as she began to move, sliding up and down, her skin warm and silky against his sensitive flesh.

Sungbin groaned, his hands reaching up to caress her breasts, squeezing them as she continued her sensual torture. With a few more pumps, Sungbin was back to his full length.

"Fuck, Jihyo," "Your tits feel so good."

Jihyo increased her pace, her breasts massaging his length, her hands squeezing her breast she worked his shaft with precision. Sungbin's eyes were fixed on the sight before him, his small cock fully disappearing between Jihyo’s deep cleavage.

"You like that, baby?" Jihyo teased,

"You like my tits wrapped around your hard cock?"

"Fuck, yes," Sungbin groaned, his hands gripping her shoulders urging her on. "Don't stop, Jihyo. I'm close."

Jihyo, sensing his impending release, pulled away, leaving Sungbin on the edge. She had been denied pleasure once, and she was not going to fall for the same mistake again.

"Not yet," "I want you to fuck me first."

She positioned herself above him, guiding his hard cock to her entrance. With one swift motion, she impaled herself on his length, taking him deep inside her. Sungbin groaned, his eyes closing in bliss as Jihyo's tight, wet heat enveloped him.

"Oh yes, Jihyo," he moaned, his hands gripping her hips. "Ride me, baby."

Jihyo began to move, her hips rolling in a sensual rhythm, taking him in deep, then sliding back up until just the tip of his cock remained inside her. She leaned forward, her hands braced on his chest, as she set a relentless pace, her breasts bouncing with each thrust.

"Fuck, you feel so good," Sungbin grunted, his body tense with the effort of holding back his release.

Jihyo smiled down at him, her eyes heavy with lust. "You like that, baby? You like my tight pussy gripping your cock?"

"Yes, fuck yes," he panted, his hands sliding up to cup her breasts, squeezing and kneading them.

Jihyo's moans grew louder as she rode him, her body glistening with sweat. She wanted to continue like this so that she too can chase her orgasm, but Sungbin's endurance was waning. With a final, desperate thrust, he arched his back, his body tensing as he filled Jihyo with his hot cum.

"Oh god, Jihyo," he gasped, his eyes fluttering shut.

Jihyo felt his release, but it wasn't enough to satisfy her. He had barely lasted for a few minutes. She wanted more; she needed to be thoroughly fucked, she has yet to even orgasm once throughout the sex. As Sungbin lay beneath her, spent and satisfied, she could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

"Baby, I'm not done yet," Jihyo whispered, her voice laced with desire. "I need more. Fuck me again, please."

Sungbin opened his eyes, his love for her still evident, but his body was telling a different story. "Jihyo, I... I need a moment. You're incredible, but I can't...I’m sorry"

Frustrated, Jihyo got off Sungbin, as her hand found its way between her thighs. Dipping her fingers dipping into her wetness, she used her thumb to search for her aching clit. She needed relief, and she was determined to find it, even if it meant taking matters into her own hands. Jihyo thrusted her fingers desperately as she fucked herself, and with a few frenzied pushes, she finally reached her first orgasm as pleasure rippled through her bodies.

Jihyo collapsed onto the bed beside Sungbin, their bodies sticky with sweat. “Sorry hyo, I couldn’t last that long.”

“No worries babe, I loved it anyways” She smiled through her hidden pain and dissatisfaction, lying to ensure Sungbin did not feel bad about it.

The next few days weren’t any better. Every steamy session they had, each time they touched, the feeling of arousal became dimmer and dimmer. He would cum too quickly, his dick was too small to make her feel much, and to Jihyo, Sungbin was rather selfish about his own pleasure. Sex became predictable and mechanical ; suck him off for a few minutes and he would cum. Jihyo would then have to touch herself to get off while Sungbin would drift off to sleep exhausted again after the session.

Her frustration slowly started to build up. Was it herself? Was love not sufficient to ignite that arousal? Was she just too needy and demanding in bed? As these questions piled up, they affected her mood and behavior over the next few days. One afternoon, while sitting on the couch, Momo noticed Jihyo becoming increasingly stressed and decided to check in.

“What’s wrong?” Momo asked gently.

Jihyo sighed, being on the verge of her impeding annoyance, Jihyo instantly poured out.

“I’ve been feeling really frustrated. I thought love would be enough, but it’s not. I keep wondering if I’m too needy or if I expect too much. Sungbin and I aren’t connecting the way I want, especially when it comes to sex. I thought it would come naturally, but it just isn’t happening.”

Momo leaned closer, her concern evident. “Have you talked to him about it?"

“I’ve tried, but I’m scared of hurting his feelings,” Jihyo admitted. “I don’t want him to think I’m just using him for sex too, I do love him afterall.”

Jihyo turned to Momo, curiosity sparking in her eyes. “What about you? You dated a Korean guy before—how did you cope when he wasn’t satisfying in bed?”

Momo chuckled softly, remembering her past. “Well, I explored other options to gain that fulfilment,”

Jihyo raised an eyebrow intrigued. “Other options, meaning?”

“There’s this privately encoded app called K-lust, designed for booking hunks for casual encounters. It might sound a bit bold, but it helped me with fulfilling the need my boyfriend couldn’t”

Jihyo hesitated, her brow furrowing with guilt at the thought of cheating. “I don’t know, Momo. It feels kind of wrong to even consider it, especially since I’m in a relationship.”

Momo nodded, understanding her conflict. “I get that. I felt this way too at the start” But it’s also important to think about your own needs. Exploring what you want doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hurt anyone.”

Jihyo bit her lip, her curiosity battling with her conscience, she was clearly interested. “I don’t want to feel like I’m betraying him. It just feels so complicated.”

“Totally understandable,” Momo said gently. “Maybe you could approach it as a way to understand your own desires better. If it helps you figure out what you need, it might even make your relationship stronger in the long run.”

Jihyo laid back onto the couch, tempted at the idea but still battling with the guilt within her “I…I just don’t want to do anything I’ll regret.”

To further reassure her, Momo continued, “You know, tons of idols actually use this app. They’ve designed it to protect users, so you can feel safe while exploring. Plus, the guys on there are experienced at fulfilling needs, so you wouldn’t have to worry about anything.”

Jihyo was shocked at the knowledge that many of her peers in her industry uses it but that gave her a sense of security and assurance, that she was not in this alone. It made sense afterall, many idols barely have time to date, much less have release for their pent-up sexual needs.

“See it as a way to explore what you want in a safe environment. And if it doesn’t feel right, you can always walk away, no one will ever find out about this” Momo added

“Thank you, Momo. I appreciate this” Jihyo said, a smile breaking through her earlier tension.

“Anything for you, unnie,” Momo replied warmly. “I’m always here for you. We could organise a session together if you would like” Momo cheekily teased.

“YAH! No thank you, you freak! I will not like to see your body naked”

“Fine unnie, I’ll drop you the link to the app so you can check it out”.

That night, Jihyo found herself unable to shake her curiosity about the app. It kept replaying in her mind, stirring a mix of excitement. Her heart raced as she thought about the possibilities. After another disappointing session with Sungbin, she felt an urge to explore what else was out there. Feeling a surge of determination, her thumb hovered the link Momo had sent and downloaded the app.

The profile setup was simple, which made it easy for Jihyo to dive in. As she took a picture of herself, she felt confident about her chest and decided to highlight it a tad more. Scrolling through the features felt like a new adventure. She could literally book any men, asked for any fantasy, or any setting/theme she wanted. She could even book multiple men , but that was too ambitious for her at this moment.

As Jihyo scrolled through profiles, one particular man caught her eye: Tae. He was undeniably handsome and muscular with a youthful charm that radiated from his pictures. What intrigued her even more were his high ratings, reflecting his experience and satisfaction among users. But the detail that truly captured her attention was his impressive 6.5 inches. Jihyo’s heart raced at the thought, and she found herself drawn to his profile. This could be the opportunity she had been looking for—a chance to explore her desires with someone who seemed confident and capable.

After contemplating for about 10 minutes, wrestling with her thoughts, Jihyo felt a rush of courage and clicked “Book” to arrange a meeting with Tae. Almost instantly, a chat window opened, and she found herself messaging him.

“Hey, I’m glad you reached out!” Tae replied warmly. “How about we meet at my company’s studio? It has a private room and we can have some fun without any interruptions.”

Jihyo’s heart raced at the suggestion. She hesitated for just a moment, but the excitement of the unknown pushed her to consider it. “That sounds great! What time were you thinking?” she typed back, her pulse quickening at the prospect of this new adventure.

“Perfect! How about tomorrow at 6 PM?” Tae replied almost immediately.

Jihyo’s heart fluttered at the quick response. “That works for me!” she typed back, feeling a mix of anticipation and nervousness.

“Awesome! I’ll send you the address and some details. Looking forward to it!” Tae wrote, and Jihyo could feel the excitement building inside her. This was really happening, and she couldn’t wait to see where the evening would lead. This could solve the deep dissatisfaction lingering inside Jihyo. She felt guilty still, but a part of her felt compelled to venture into the unknown, to take a step of faith and try something different.

The next day arrived quickly, and Jihyo found herself heading to the secluded building with a mix of excitement and nerves. As she approached the entrance, she felt her heart racing, imagining what the evening might hold. She had picked another sexy outfit for tonight wanting to impress Tae as well, one that showed an ample amount of her cleavage.

The building was tucked away from the bustling city. When she reached the address it looked just like any other retail mall per say, but it was a huge establishment of at least 15 stories and she wondered if the whole building belonged to K-lust. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that this was an opportunity to explore and stepped into the building. Inside looked normal with a receptionist, but not wanting to garner any attention she avoided eye contact with anybody and headed to the floor and room that Tae had told her about.

When she finally reached, she was greeted by Tae, who was even more charming in person. “Hey! You made it,” he said with a warm smile, instantly easing some of her tension.

Jihyo couldn’t help but blush as she took in Tae’s muscular physique and striking good looks. His confident stance and warm smile made her heart race even faster. The way his shirt clung to his toned body only added to her excitement, and she felt a flutter of nerves and anticipation.

“Wow, you look amazing,” she subconsciously said causing her cheeks heating up.

Tae chuckled softly, a playful glint in his eyes. “Thanks! You look incredible too. I’m glad we could meet like this.”

Jihyo smiled, feeling a mix of shyness and thrill. This feeling was what she had been hoping for—a chance to explore her desires with someone that can make her feel something.  

“Shall we begin with some drinks to relax?” Tae suggested. He poured two glasses of champagne and handed one over to Jihyo.

They clinked glasses, and Jihyo felt the tension start to melt away as they sipped the bubbly drink. They chatted and laughed, sharing stories and getting to know each other better. Jihyo loved how considerate Tae was about her throughout the whole time, not just rushing her for sex but how Tae came across genuine in wanting to know more about her needs. With each sip, the atmosphere grew warmer and more intimate, the initial nerves fading into a comfortable ease.

As the conversation flowed, Jihyo found herself drawn to Tae’s easy charm and genuine interest in her. Sensing the shift in the atmosphere, Tae leaned in slightly and said, “Ready to begin what you came here for? Today is all about you. Don’t worry; I’ll take good care of you.”

Jihyo felt a thrill run through her at his words. His confidence was reassuring, and she could see the sincerity in his eyes. “I’m…. ready,” she replied, her heart pounding with excitement yet a slight nervousness at the same time. She was about to cheat on her boyfriend after all but she had to fulfil her needs and before her stood Tae whom she knew would give her a night of her life.

Tae’s smile widened, and he moved a little closer, the warmth between them palpable. “Just relax and enjoy. I want to make this a memorable experience for you,” he said.

Jihyo had previously wondered if Tae would think less of her for not being experienced or adventurous enough. But her worries were quickly fading away at the sound of Tae deep but inviting voice.

Tae's proximity stirred something deep within her—a yearning that had been building during her unsatisfying relationship. She found herself on her tiptoes, her lips seeking his, and Tae was more than happy to oblige.

Their lips met in a passionate kiss—hungry, desperate, and deep. Tae's hands slid down to grasp her plump ass through her green dress, pulling her against his hardening cock. Jihyo moaned into the kiss, her hands sliding up his chest to tangle in his hair. She felt his tongue skillfully invade her mouth, and she duelled with him, her shyness melting away under the heat of their passionate embrace.

Tae eventually broke the kiss, leaving Jihyo breathless and wanting more. He nuzzled her neck, his lips brushing against her sensitive skin as he rained kisses along her jawline. "You are so sexy Jihyo”

Jihyo blushes shyly at his words, for some reason even though those words could be said by Sungbin her boyfriend, coming from this young hunk made her feel something different, something more affectionate. Jihyo felt incredibly aroused, she knew her panties were soaked even though they had barely begun.

"I’m glad to be the privileged one that you booked” Tae whispered huskily. He swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed, laying her down gently.

Tae stood at the edge of the bed, slowly shedding his suit jacket and undoing his tie.

Jihyo watched him intently, her breath quickening as he revealed his sculpted chest and ripped abs. He toed off his shoes and slid out of his pants, revealing tight black boxer briefs, his hard shaft slightly peeking out due to its length. Jihyo's eyes widened at the impressive bulge, her pussy clenching with need. He was indeed as big as he had advertised.

Tae joined her on the bed, hovering over her as he traced a finger along her jawline. "You are so beautiful, Jihyo," "And I plan to worship every inch of your body." Jihyo felt her body shivered in anticipation at his words. She had never been treated this way.

He kissed her again, a deep, passionate kiss that left Jihyo breathless. His hands roamed over her body, cupping her full breasts, his thumbs teasing her nipples to hard peaks through the fabric of her dress. Jihyo arched her back, pressing herself into his experienced touch, craving more, craving the satisfaction that her boyfriend could never provide her with.

Tae slowly undid her dress, gently sliding it off her shoulders to pool at her waist before removing it completely. He broke away from their kiss to admire her naked body, his eyes dark with desire. "So perfect," he breathed

Jihyo blushed under his intense gaze, her nipples tightening further as she felt his eyes roaming over her curves. She reached out, trailing her fingernails lightly over the defined planes of his chest, reveling in the feel of his hard muscles under her touch.

Tae captured her hand, kissing her palm gently before bringing it to his mouth. He sucked on her fingers one by one, his eyes locked with hers, and Jihyo felt a molten heat pool between her thighs. She bit her lip, her eyes fluttering closed as she savored the sensation.

Tae released her hand and gently pushed her back against the bed, kissing a trail down her neck, along her collarbone, and lower, until he reached the valley between her heaving breasts. He paused there, his breath warm against her sensitive skin, before moving to one of her peaks taking it into his mouth, sucking and teasing it with his tongue and teeth.

Jihyo gasped, her hands tangling in his hair as she held him to her. "Oh yes," she moaned, her head tossing back against the pillows. "Please, don't stop."

Tae chuckled and sucked harder sending pleasure through Jihyo's sensitive breasts. He lavished attention on her other nipple, swirling his tongue around the bud before gently biting it, causing Jihyo to cry out.

He continued his descent, placing soft kisses along her ribcage and down her flat stomach, his hands gently caressing her soft skin. Jihyo squirmed beneath him, her breath coming in short gasps as she anticipated his next move.

Tae's hands slid down to the tie of her underwear, still loosely knotted at her waist. With a slow, deliberate movement, he untied it, opening it to reveal her slick, glistening pussy. Tae looked up at Jihyo, ensuring she was doing okay before lowering his head to taste her. The attention Tae paid to her body, made her feel warm and comfortable, she knew this night was about her pleasure, it was the privilege that Sungbin always get to feel but not her. Tonight, the roles have finally reversed.

Tae’s tongue swirled over her clit, sending sparks of pleasure through Jihyo's body. She moaned, her hips bucking off the bed as Tae lapped at her, his hands gently prying her thighs apart to give him better access. He inserted a finger into her tight, wet cunt, curling it to find that sweet spot that had Jihyo rolling her eyes back in pleasure. Tae was so experienced unlike her boyfriend, every of his touch deliberate and intentional which drove Jihyo to a new world.

"Oh my God... Tae," Jihyo panted, her head thrashing from side to side as she neared her peak. "I'm so close... so close..." Jihyo could not believe her body was responding so eagerly even though they had just began.

Tae hummed against her clit, sending vibrations through her sensitive flesh, as he added another finger, stretching and filling her. "Come for me, beautiful," he urged, his voice husky. "Let me feel you cum around my fingers." This was all It took, hearing his deep husky but commanding voice.

“TAEEEE” Jihyo screamed his name as her orgasm crashed over her, her body shaking uncontrollably as wave after wave of pleasure ripped through her. Tae continued to lick and suck at her sensitive clit, drawing out her orgasm until she was a quivering mess, pleading for mercy. This was the first time, sex had been solely about her, and the first time, she had come before her partner.

Tae finally relented, climbing up her body to press hot, open-mouthed kisses along her neck. Jihyo whimpered, her body still humming with aftershocks as Tae nipped at her earlobe. "That was just the beginning, baby," he whispered, his breath hot against her ear. "I plan to make you cum over and over again."

Jihyo moaned, her pussy throbbing with arousal at his words, her fingers digging into his broad shoulders.

"Please... I want you inside me. Now."

Tae's cock twitched at her needy tone, and he couldn't suppress his hungry smirk. "As you wish, beautiful."

He positioned himself between her thighs and grabbed his throbbing cock, lining up the tip with her dripping entrance. Jihyo was dripping wet at this point and no additional lubricant was needed. However, Tae, wanting her experience to the best , spat on his hand and gave his hard cock a few strokes to ensure it was fully lubed. Then, with one smooth, thrust, he slid into her slowly, inching in little by little, not wanting to hurt Jihyo.

Jihyo gasped at the sensation of being stretched and filled by Tae's impressive length. Her eyes widened as she felt him pushing in deeper and deeper burying his shaft to the hilt. She felt so full, so well pleasured, a sensation she had never experienced with her previous boyfriend.

Tae stilled, giving her a moment to adjust to his size. He leaned down, nuzzling her neck and whispering softly. "You like that, baby? You like being stretched by my big cock?"

Jihyo felt a rush of warmth between her thighs at his dirty talk. She nodded, her voice a breathy whisper. "Yes... feels so good... so much bigger than my boyfriend's."

Tae growled at her admission; he did not expect Jihyo to mention about her boyfriend but that turned him on even more, being the one to fulfil the gap her useless boyfriend couldn’t. His hands gripped her hips tightly as he began to move in slow but firm pumps. Tae would withdraw almost entirely, leaving just the tip inside, before slamming back into her with a slow, deep thrust.

"Oh fuck... you are stretching me out so good" Jihyo moaned, her eyes rolling to the back of her head at the delicious friction. She met his thrusts, her hips rising to greet each delicious stroke. "Harder, Tae... please, fuck me harder."

Tae obliged, quickening the pace and increasing the force of his thrusts. The bed creaked in rhythm with their passionate fucking, the sound of their skin slapping together filling the room. Tae's balls slapped against Jihyo's ass, and she cried out with each powerful thrust, encouraging him to go harder, faster.

Tae reached between their sweaty bodies, his fingers finding her swollen clit. He rubbed circles around it as he pounded into her, his own orgasm building as he felt Jihyo's pussy clench around his cock.

"Cum for me again, baby," he grunted, his breath hot against her ear. "Let me feel that tight pussy milk my big cock."

Jihyo screamed as her orgasm washed over her, her pussy contracting around Tae's cock, forming a tight fit around the full length of his shaft. This was the first time; someone has made her cum multiple times.  Tae thrust into her a few more times, but the grip her pussy had on his shaft felt overwhelming and he was unable to hold back any longer.

"Fuck, Jihyo... I'm gonna cum," he groaned, his voice strained as he reached his peak.

“Outside please!” Jihyo begged, not comfortable with being bred by a stranger’s cock.

With a few more powerful thrusts, Tae pulled out and unleashed his load all over her body, painting her body with his warm cum. His cock twitched as the remaining drops fell unto her stomach.

They layed beside each other, their hearts pounding and their breath coming in ragged gasps.

"That was incredible," she murmured, voice filled with satisfaction. The sexual frustration that she felt was adequately fulfilled, no longer bothering her as much.

Jihyo smiled, a glowing warmth spreading through her. "Thank you for this," She snuggled closer to him, her hand gently stroking his chest. For a first time, this was sufficient for Jihyo, she did not want to go overboard after all. She still loved Sungbin and did not want to hurt him.

After a short rest, Tae helped Jihyo get up and Jihyo headed for the showers to wash up quickly.

As she stepped out of the shower, feeling refreshed yet still a bit flustered. Tae was already waiting for her by the door when she emerged. “I’ve emailed you the link of the recording of your session,” he said.

Jihyo’s eyes widened in shock. The reality of what that meant hit her, and she felt a rush of embarrassment wash over her. “The session is… recorded”

“Oh yea, it is mentioned in our terms and conditions that unless you specify otherwise, we will be recording the sessions for your own personal use, don’t worry it is heavily protected.”

“Hope to see you again Jihyo!”

Jihyo hesitated but accepted the reality, her cheeks burning as she turned to leave quickly. Outside, she took a deep breath, trying to shake off the mix of feelings swirling within her. On one hand, she felt a tinge of guilt, that she has just cheated, yet on the other hand she felt thoroughly satisfied.

She opened her email, and she couldn’t deny the impeding curiosity forming within her, making her want to click that link, to view the footage of her sinful but pleasurable night. Eventually she clicked away and headed home, yet deep down , she couldn’t help but wonder if she might return to explore what the universe of K-Lust have to offer again.

(To be continued)

Notes

Will be focusing my attention on getting chapter two out, give me maybe two weeks and I should be done! Cheers everybody. Hope you enjoyed this.

[ellecdc]

Come Back, Be Here

Sirius Black x fem!reader - First Wizarding War Order of the Phoenix - 8k words

p1 // p2 // p3 // p4 // p5 // p6 // p7 // p8

CW: mentions of past abuse/torture, amnesia, healing/blood and injury (no one is injured during this story), mention of Bellatrix's cursed knife (same injury Hermione received, sorry), angst, hurt/comfort, use of Y/N

Synopsis: After sacrificing yourself to save your friend and Order partner James months before, you're found on the brink of death. How will Sirius react when he finally gets his love back, but you don't seem to recognize any of them? (concept inspired by Recognition by aeaean__bliss on ao3)

James hated this – he hated the paranoia, he hated worrying, he hated the idea that taking one step outside of the threshold may be the last time he ever sees his wife and son. He had taken ‘one last look’ at too many people in his life, and he was exhausted.

         But he was also trained for this.

Pads had been growing more and more paranoid as the war waged on – with all the loss, the targeted attacks of Order members and the growing speculation of a spy amongst them; he begged Lily and James to change Peter to the secret keeper. “I’ll be the Death Eaters first thought, Prongs - he’s the less obvious choice.” It had been months since James had seen Sirius so desperate and passionate, so he agreed. Peter’s schedule with the Ministry had been taking up a lot of his time, but he said that the next Order meeting they would do the trade.

Until then, Sirius made sure Lily and James had a contingency plan.

“If anything fuckey happens, you have to promise me you’ll leave, no questions asked. Okay?” Sirius begged. “Have a go-bag packed for you both and Harry at the ready. If you feel any weakening of the wards – you leave.”

So, something fuckey happened. Lily got herself and Harry dressed for the rain, their bags by the back door ready to make a run for it, and James stood at the front door with his invisibility cloak pulled over him and wand at the ready.

The wards had chimed – signifying someone was here – but they were still standing; this meant Sirius was fine. Wards wobbled all the time – sometimes muggles wandered too closely to them without realizing – but the concerning part was the snap of apparition they heard before the wards had alerted them.

“It could be Moony, or Wormtail.” Lily said, mostly trying to convince herself that everything was fine.

James smiled at his wife like this might be the last time he ever did so. “Very true. I’ll be back in a mo’, okay? If anything happens, you guys go. I’ll find you.” He said.

Lily gave him a watery smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

James stepped out into the torrential downpour. Britain wasn’t always known for its reliable weather, but even James was baffled by the sudden late-October thunderstorm. As tempted as he was to cast a weather repelling charm around him, he didn’t want to give away his location by having water bouncing away from his invisible figure, so he allowed himself to get increasingly soaked as he squinted into the night, looking for any signs of who alerted their wards.

He made it to the front gate – where he could see the end of the wards and cast a quick revelio.

Nothing.

“Moony?” He whispered, knowing the lycanthrope would hear him over the heavy rain.

“Pete?” He asked a little louder after receiving no answer.

He waited for a few more moments, cast one more revelio, and moved to the back of the house when he picked up nothing.

Godric’s Hollow is a wizarding community as well, he reminded himself, maybe someone just unknowingly apparated too close to the property.

He cast another revelio in the backyard and his heart leapt into his throat when he saw movement in the woods. “Buggering fuck!” He whisper-shouted, but embarrassingly realized he was watching the figure of a cat running away into the forest.

“Well, that’s not what I heard apparating here, now is it?” He muttered under his breath. He was beginning to suspect they heard some ignorant witch or wizard who miscalculated their apparation as he finished surveying the backyard.

Suddenly, he spotted a figure; it appeared unmoving, and was in a heap on the ground directly outside the ward line. James looked around, casting another revelio – nothing. The only thing he’s found is the slumped figure at the ward line.

James was torn – does he check what it is? What if it’s a person? Should he see if they are okay? Should he go inside and tell Lily that it’s fine before he checks on the figure? Would they still be waiting outside when he came back out? Is this a trap?

His musings were interrupted as the figure started choking.

“Merlin, I’m going to die of a bleeding heart.” James muttered as he made his way to the figure. He cast one more revelio on his way to confirm no one else was around waiting to ambush him.

Against his better judgment - knowing Sirius would have him by the bollocks for this later - he stepped outside of the wards, grabbed the figure and hauled the body back over the ward line. At least now I only have to be worried about dying at the hands of this individual half dead wix.

The body was small – James would assume it was a student from Hogwarts if it weren’t for the fact that they clearly apparated here and all students would be in school. Their cloak appeared far too large for their body and was completely soaked through due to the rain.

The figure began coughing again, and James heard gurgling sounds.

He ripped the hood off the figure and gasped.

Pale – so sickly pale – bruised black and blue and currently coughing up blood was you. Vixen! The witch, friend, fellow animagus and therefore honorary Marauder and his personal mission partner whom James last saw dying in the rubble of your last stake-out location.

“Oh Merlin, OH MERLIN.” James shouted as he whipped off the invisibility cloak and threw it over his shoulder.

He turned his attention back to you as you continued to sputter. He carefully turned you onto your side so you could spit the blood out of your mouth, which caused you to throw up.

“Okay, alright, come on Vix. Let’s get you inside. You’re okay, come on.” James muttered, mostly as a mantra to himself. He felt the adrenaline rushing through his body and tried to ignore the ringing in his ears.

He lifted you up into his arms; one arm supporting your knees whilst the other supported your shoulders. You hung from his grasp like a corpse.

“Stay with me, Vix. Stay with me. You’re going to be okay.” He continued as he got to the door.

He kicked the back door with his foot before cursing and remembering their code. He paused; three quick kicks, one kick, two quick kicks. “Lily! It’s clear, open up!”

Lily set Harry in his playpen and was quick to unlock the door. “Thank Merlin, I - oh!” She quickly moved out of way to avoid being barreled over by her husband with a body in his arms. “What did you find?”

“Not what, Lil’s. Who.”

He ran to the guest bedroom on the first floor, gently laying you onto the bed.

“No...” Lily whispered from the door, her face falling so pale that her freckles stood out in stark contrast.

“Help me. Help her. She’s hurt, she’s-” he started, but he could hardly breathe.

James’ stuttering seemed to snap Lily out of it, and she began barking orders.

“Go get towels, as many as we can. Put a few throw blankets into the dryer for about twenty minutes to warm them up.” She said as she moved to the bed. James didn’t need to be told twice.

Lily set the soaking cloak that James had unceremoniously plopped onto the bed onto the chesterfield. She vanished the black turtleneck and black trousers from your body hoping you wouldn’t miss them terribly. Her breath was taken away, but she couldn’t stare in horror for long as you began coughing up more blood.

She noticed bleeding from your left side – you had what looked like a stab wound in your ribs, which had punctured your lung. Okay Lily, you know this.

Lily sometimes hated magic - it had caused so much pain in her life. She had been called slurs and faced prejudice, she was left without a relationship with her sister, she lost friends and many she considered family to this magical war, and her husband and family were currently facing death by the hands of an evil wizard. Right at this very moment, however, Lily thanked all the deities possible for her use of magic.

She quickly syphoned the fluids and blood flooding your lung before casting a quick sawdering charm to it. Lily heard the telltale snap of your ribs back into place before she closed the wound. It wasn’t as pretty as what could have been done by a real Healer or even Madam Pomfrey, but it would do.

Lily cleared your mouth and throat of blood and conjured a glass of water, forcing some into your mouth before encouraging you to spit it back out.

Once you were no longer at risk of immediately dying, Lily took in the rest of your body.

Your collarbone appeared to protrude from its rightful place, and you had severe bruising around your neck. Lily corrected your collar bone with a flick of her wand which elicited a painful grunt from your lips. You seemed quite a bit thinner than the last time she had seen you, and wondered when your last good meal was. She levitated you gently off the bed and noted that the majority of the bruising appeared around your torso and back. You had a large, healed scar on your right thigh and a small puncture shaped scar on your lower left abdomen. But none of this made Lily feel nearly as sick as when she noticed the word mudblood carved into the skin of your left arm; the wound appeared brand new, as if it had just happened, but it was dry and not bleeding.

The bedroom door slammed open as James threw a pile of at least twenty towels onto the other side of the bed as your form. “I’ve got blankets in the drying machine thingy.” He muttered out of breath as he straightened his glasses.

“Merlin’s tits. What-” he started before Lily cut him off.

“Out, out. Give us some privacy, I’m going to run her a warm bath. Can you bring me some clothes for her?”

James jumped and took off out of the room again.

You had been coming in and out of consciousness as Lily gently washed your body. Every time your eyes met Lily’s green ones, Lily felt her breath leave her body. It’s like looking at a ghost. She wanted to throw up, she wanted to cry, she wanted to sing and dance, my friend, who we had a funeral for, was back from the dead. But she had a job to do, dammit she had a job to do. She’s not your friend right now Lily, she’s your patient. Help her. She needs a healer. You’re as good as one. Help your patient.

Neither of you spoke – Lily didn’t want to overwhelm you, and she also had no idea what to say. There’s so much I’ve wanted to tell you since you’ve been gone; now I have no words.

Lily helped you dry off and supported your weight as she walked you back into the bedroom. James had brought down a tracksuit of Lily’s, which was too big for you, but it was dry and warm, and it would have to do.

After you were dressed, Lily had you sit on the edge of the bed as she brushed and braided your hair.

“There you go, Y/N.” Lily said as she gently tapped your shoulder, cautious of any pain you may be feeling from your collarbone injury.

“You know my name.” you asked quietly, but it wasn’t a question.

Lily paled. Know your name? Try: know your entire life story up until about a year ago.

“I do.” Lily answered cautiously, moving to stand in front of her friend. “Do you know mine?”

Lily watched as your eyes scanned her face. “No,” you admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” Lily said dumbly. “Well, that’s okay. Nothing to be sorry for. I’m Lily. We were friends, before.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and Lily instantly regretted saying anything. “Here, why don’t we get you into bed, hm?” She offered as a distraction to the both of you.

You grimaced as you shuffled to the head of the bed where Lily pulled the warm blankets James had left for you to climb under.

“I’ll go make a pot of tea and get you some pain potion, okay?”

You seemed to consider Lily for some time before finally nodding your head at her.

“I’ll be right back.”

Lily closed the door behind her and rushed to the kitchen. “James” She sobbed.

Her husband immediately stood from the kitchen table and enveloped her in his arms.

“What happened? Is she okay?” He asked into her hair.

“She doesn’t know who I am.” She muttered miserably.

James froze and pulled his wife away from him to look into her eyes. “She what?”

“She doesn’t recognize me, James. She asked how I knew her name.”

“Oh, Godric.” James muttered, falling back into the chair. “Do you think she’ll recognize me? Or anyone else?”

Lily sighed as she made her way into the kitchen and turned on the kettle. “I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s shock, or amnesia, or a brain injury, or if it’s just me. There are too many variables. I think we should probably wait before we tell the other’s she’s here – I don’t know how they’ll handle not being recognized.”

“Fuck” James whispered.

“Potter.” Lily deadpanned. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

The only response she got was a guilty look from James before the front door flew open.

“Where is she?” Sirius demanded, staring at his friends as if they had personally victimized him, Remus following closely behind, face white as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Would you quiet down.” Lily seethed as she threw up a hasty mufliato.

“I am not fucking around, Red. Where. Is. She.” He repeated angrily, shaking off James’ hand that had been placed on his shoulder.

“If you think I’m letting you anywhere near her when you’re like this, you are out of your sodding mind.” Lily seethed, walking over, and shoving her face into Sirius’. 

“Mate, please. Sit down, let us fill you in. The second we do; you can go see her.” James said, trying to appease his friend. Sirius’ chest heaved as his burning eyes met Remus’ glassy ones which were already on him; a silent question of “Are we going to comply or are we going to cause a scene?” passed between them. Sirius moved his eyes back to Lily; he knew Lily wasn’t messing around - she was the mother of the group; she always had been. And she had always been the absolute best of friends with you and Remus, which made her all the more protective over you two in particular. He knew he should trust her when it came to you, but after the last mission - the mission you never fucking returned from - he doubted he would ever trust anyone with you ever again.

Lily watched his face as he seemed to come to some sort of decision.

“You have exactly five minutes starting the second my arse hits that seat, and then I will see her. Got it?” He stated bluntly, before shoving past her and James and sitting at the kitchen table.

Lily and James shared a look before they joined him at the table, Remus sitting down last.

James and Lily just stared at each other; each silently begging the other to start. Sirius grew more and more agitated the longer no one said anything, his knee bouncing under the table. 4 minutes and 17 seconds before I break every door down in this fucking house to find her.

“So,” James started, “She’s here.”

Lily grimaced. “We heard the snap of apparition and then there was a wobble in the wards.” Sirius’ eyes widened.

“We were ready to run,” Lily input at Sirius’ face, “but since the wards were still up and unaffected, James went to investigate.”

“She was soaked to the bone and just lying there. Honestly, I...I thought there was just a dead body until she started to choke.” James admitted. “I got her inside and brought her to the room where Lily healed her.”

“And?” Remus asked quietly.

“And it’s not good.” Lily admitted.

“She’s alive.” James amended, giving Lily a pointed look as if saying do you know who you’re talking to right now?

“Right, erm,” Lily started, “She had a stab wound in her ribs which had punctured her lung – that’s what was causing her to choke. I emptied the lung of blood and fluids and closed it up, re-set the broken ribs and closed the wound – her collar bone was also dislocated. She’s badly bruised and beaten. She has a few healed scars...” she trailed off awkwardly.

“Merlin’s tits.” Sirius muttered into his hands which were covering his face. “Is that all?” He asked sarcastically.

“No, there are two more things, but I need you to stay quiet and calm and listen to me. Do not speak until I say so, okay?”

She gave Sirius a pointed look and the man begrudgingly nodded.

“It appears that someone carved the word mudblood into her left arm – the wound looked brand new, but it wasn’t bleeding or red, so I’m not sure why it looks the way it does. I’ll need an actual healer to look it over.” She sighed greatly before continuing. “And she doesn’t know who I am.”

The room fell painfully silent, all eyes on her.

“Someone carved...?” Remus finally began whispering before he was cut off by Sirius.

“What do you mean she doesn’t know who you are?” Sirius asked.

“I mean I’m a stranger to her Sirius.” She muttered miserably. “She asked me how I knew her name, and when I told her we were friends, she looked like she was going to cry.”

Sirius’ already alabaster skin appeared to grow a sickly paler shade as he looked incredulously at Lily.

He watched as James rubbed Lily’s shoulder. Beaten. Stabbed. Bruised. Tortured. Someone hurt her. Someone touched her – violated her. My girl.

But she’s here. He reminded himself.

“Okay.” He whispered.

The table grew quiet again, everyone turning their attention to the dark-haired man.

“Okay?” Lily asked between sniffles.

“Okay.” He repeated before making eye contact with her again. “She’s likely been through hell, I hardly expect much of her right now. Fuck, I hardly ever expected to get her back at all so, let’s just...” He stopped, looking down at the woodgrain on the table. “We’ll make sure she’s okay to start and then, maybe eventually, we can help her get her memories back or something.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

Lily gave him a sad smile as more tears fell.

“Okay Pads.” She said, reaching to take his hand. “Let’s go see our girl.”

“Y/N? It’s me,” Lily started as she leaned into the bedroom door. “Erm, Lily.” She clarified awkwardly. “I’ve got your tea and something to eat, may I come in?”

She waited for a few beats before she poked her head in. “You okay?” She asked gently. She spotted her friend sitting exactly where she had left you; propped up in the bed on a tower of pillows and wrapped in the numerous blankets that James had warmed up for you. Lily plastered on what she hoped was her most calming smile.

“When was the last time you’ve eaten?” She asked gently, moving into the room.

 “I’m not sure.” You admitted in a whisper, warily eying the grapes, cheese, and crackers Lily had prepared that sat beside the tea and vial of pain potion which Lily placed on the bed before you.

“I can get you something else if you’d like, but I figured it might be good to have a little something in your stomach on account of the pain potion.” She grimaced as she motioned toward the offending vial.

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted the women and brought your attention to the door where James and Sirius both stood, waiting for... well, Lily wasn’t sure.

You just stared blankly at the men. Your eyes seemed to dart between James and Sirius, questions flying behind your eyes.

“Mind if we join you?” James asked quietly, holding his hands open as if a universal way to say, see? Friendly. We mean you no harm.

You turned your gaze back to Lily who was silently encouraging you. Lily wore a soft smile, and her eyes were full of compassion and understanding.

“Sure.” You finally said, your voice thick. The boys let out a breath and moved into the room slowly. Lily stared at them both, hoping they got her silent plea: you are great big giant oafs; please be as un-intimidating as possible.

It wasn’t easy; Sirius with his thick, rock-star style black hair and covered in various tattoos which stood out in stark contrast against his alabaster skin. His combat boots which were never tied properly were not the stealthiest footwear, and his various pieces of silver jewelry littering his body added to the intimidating aura that was Sirius Black.

And big, bumbling James; built like the Quidditch chaser he is. He stood slightly taller than Sirius, and between his ADHD and constant need for movement, he was in perfect shape for a soldier. He could appear intimidating when he needed to be, and when he was actually angry: watch out. But those who knew him would laugh and laugh to know you ever feared him if you hadn’t a reason. He smiled warmly at you and sat on the floor near the fireplace.

Sirius sat behind Lily in a wingback chair that he turned to face the bed you were sat on. He monitored your face looking for any signs of recognition as you surveyed the newcomers. He tried not to feel disappointed when he didn’t see any. He failed anyways.

“Our friend’s showed up while the tea was on, we never could keep them away for long.” Lily offered when you still hadn’t said anything.

“Rem will be back later; he ran out to grab some things.” Sirius explained.

James, never being one for sublties asked “do you recognize either of us?” as if the question had been lodged behind his teeth since he first found you.

Lily and Sirius sucked in a breath as they turned to analyze you. Your gaze moved over the two men before looking down at your hands in your lap and shook your head.

“Well, that’s alright; we always liked making new friends.” James offered. “I’m James – I found you outside. And this here is Sirius.” He said, motioning to his friend.

Sirius heard you let out a shakey breath at the end of James' sentence, and Lily noticed tears springing into her friend’s eyes.

“What’s the matter, love?” Sirius asked her gently.

You shook your head miserably and looked between the two men again. Sirius thought he would throw up while Lily’s eyes widened in horror.

“No, no. Y/N, it’s alright, you’re safe, no one’s going to hurt you.” she clarified.

“We’re your friends,” James offered quietly, “we only wanted to know you were okay.”

You didn’t seem able to make eye contact with any of them anymore and stared at the tea tray set out in front of you.

“It’s chamomile,” Lily offered, “it was one of your favourites.”

Sirius and James exchanged a glance before the former slowly stood and made his way over to you; you didn’t look up at Sirius, but he noticed your body tense. Keeping his distance, he picked up the cup of tea and gave it a sniff before taking a sip, making a show of swishing it in his mouth before swallowing. 

“Hm, yep. Chamomile, two sugars and a splash of milk.” He said before he cast a quick revelio over the cup and pot. “And nothing else added.”

He placed the cup back onto the tray. “You can never be too careful these days, hm?” He offered you with a smile before returning to his seat.

You looked at Lily before you carefully picked up the tea with shaking hands. The warmth of the cup brought tears to your eyes as you held it tightly in your hands, enjoying the aroma before taking your own cautious sip.

Seemingly satisfied you weren’t being poisoned, you grimaced at the smell of the pain poition before downing it with nothing more than a cough. Sirius thought you were a much better sport about it than he was.

“Why don’t we light the fire, hm?” Lily asked, beginning to stand.

“I’ve got it.” Sirius mumbled, standing, and placing a few logs into the hearth before casting an incendio.

Sirius could feel your eyes following him; he knew because they burned into his skin like they always had before. He always had a sixth sense when it came to you. He missed this familiar feeling, even though it was currently painful; he never thought he’d feel the burn of your stare again.

“Thank you.” He heard whispered, and looked to see you looking at him from under your lashes as you brought the tea to your lips again.

“You’re very welcome.” He smiled at you.

“Do you know me?” You suddenly whispered. If it wasn’t for the fact that the only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire, the rest of the room’s occupants would have missed it completely.

“Yes.” James said with a soft smile.

“Were we...” you started, before clearing your throat and returning your gaze to your hands. “Were we friends? Before?” You finished, not returning your gaze.

“The best of.” James replied.

You seemed to think on this for a while before you looked up and met Sirius’ eyes.

“And you?” You queried.

Sirius was sure he just heard his heart break. He wondered how much he should tell you. She doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t remember the nights shared, or the fights had, or the days spent. How much does he tell you?

He recognized that everyone is looking at him now; you inquisitively, James appeared distraught, and Lily was looking at him with the saddest smile he’d ever seen. He had very little time to answer this question.

“You couldn’t shake me off, love. I followed you around everywhere.” He settled for, trying to smile at you but it felt more like a grimace.

You sighed and returned to fiddling with your teacup.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. The two present marauders and Lily exchanged glances before turning back towards their friend.

“What for?” Lily asked gently, moving to place a hand on your shoulder. Nobody in the room missed the full body flinch that took place when you spotted a hand coming towards you, which caused Lily’s hand to retreat to her lap.

You sighed heavily again before continuing. “For not recognizing you all.”

“None of that now, gorgeous.” Sirius stated. “You’ve done nothing wrong. You’ll be just fine.”

“Where have you been all this time?” James asked, which was met with a low rumble from Sirius’ throat; a warning that no one in the room missed.

“Prongs, she’s been through hell. Leave her be for now.”

Your eyes flicked between the two men who seemed to be having a silent conversation with their eyes. You looked back to Lily who gave you a crooked smile and a shrug of her shoulders.

“Was your hair shorter when I knew you?” You asked. Sirius tore his eyes away from his best mate and looked into your warm gaze. You looked so inquisitive, and he instantly thought back to the nights that the two of you spent on the astronomy tower where he would point out every constellation and star you could see with your naked eye and tell you their stories; you’d always ask follow-up questions, which he loved because none of your other friends found astronomy to be at all interesting, and he could show off his wealth of knowledge on the topic.

Sirius subconsciously brought his hand up and ran his fingers through his hair. No, he thought, in fact, I’ve cut it quite a bit shorter since the last time I saw you. His hair had always been quite long, especially since he and you became friends back in 4th year. After you passed away - or, disappeared, Sirius supposed – he found it harder and harder to deal with especially when in battle, between needing it to be up elsewise it was in his face, or being easy to grab by enemies. He kept some length, but now the longest pieces came just below his chin.

“I don’t think so, darlin’. Must be thinking of someone else.” He tried to tease, but it came out pained.

Your eyes stayed on Sirius as you analysed him. “My mistake.” You whispered.

It grew incredibly awkward from there. No one knew what to say; you wouldn’t eat or make eye contact with anyone anymore and continued fiddling with your teacup.

“Well, why don’t we leave you to eat up, and you can rest some, hm?” Lily offered, looking around the room at the others. James immediately nodded his head in agreement, whilst you looked indifferent, and Sirius looked anything but pleased at the prospect of leaving the room you were currently situated in.

“Pads, why don’t you help me make something to eat for the rest of us, and we can come check back on Y/N a little later.” She offered.

Sirius kept his gaze on you; you seemed concerned, though he didn’t know what about – were you worried they’d stay? That they’d leave? Were you worried that they wouldn’t come back?

“Alright,” He offered Lily, “I’ll be back shortly, okay?” He added for your benefit. You looked up at that, appearing to analyze him as he moved to the door whilst keeping eye contact.

“Okay.” You whispered, and everyone shuffled out of the room.

“Fuck.” He breathed as the door clicked shut behind him.

The three friends moved back to the kitchen where Sirius did indeed help Lily make more sandwiches while James began to pace the kitchen behind them.

“Spit it out Prongs, we’ve not got all day.” He muttered, tired of his friend’s nervous ticks.

“Listen, mate,” James started awkwardly, “I just want you to be careful.”

Sirius looked at him incredulously. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, with Y/N.” He clarified, which for Sirius clarified absolutely nothing.

“What are you on about?”

“Okay.” James breathed. “Listen, I’m just worried - about all of us, okay? Vix included. I mean, she was as on deaths door the last I saw her and-”

“Yeah, and you fucking left her there.” Sirius spat quietly. James’s face pained considerably, the guilt and memories clear on his face. It wasn’t fair of Sirius, he knew that. You made that choice for the both of them; he saw James’ memory of that moment with his own eyes - hell, he was there when a distraught James dropped into the safe house via portkey without you.

“I know, I...” James started but was interrupted this time by Lily.

“Sirius, we both know how stubborn our girl is. Nothing would have changed that outcome.” She offered him quietly.

“I shouldn’t have interrupted James.” Sirius bit out, knowing he was out of line but not willing to apologize for his words.

“We believed her to be dead for months, and then all of a sudden, she quite literally drops out of the fucking sky and remembers nothing. I’m not saying she’s chosen a side or anything, but I cannot help but be worried. This feels like a trap.”

James’ words hung in the air, Sirius never breaking eye contact with him. Sirius’ stares could be intense which was extremely intimidating. While James was undoubtedly uncomfortable, he needed Sirius to understand his concerns. You were a potential threat whether you were aware of it or not, and you were currently living in his house alongside his family.

“So, what? You think she’s been turned a spy? That she’s been sent to destroy us from the inside out? After all this time?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“I don’t know what to think, Pads. All I’m saying is that I’m scared and for all our sakes, I need you to be careful.”

“You want her out.” Sirius spat.

“No.” Lily and James chorused.

“Sirius no, I want my best friend here, with me where I can help her.." Lily started. "That’s not what this is about. Maybe I’m being naïve, but I don’t think she’s a danger to us. I want her here, Sirius. I need her here.”

James looked at his wife, disagreement written all over his face, but it was joined with acceptance and understanding. You were his friend too; he spent summers and full moons and missions with you, and he wouldn’t trade any of it. Well, he’d leave the missions happily behind but hoped one day that you could spend the first two together again. But he had a war to win and a family to protect, and right now, that had to come first.

The three friends were interrupted by a silvery whisp of a phoenix travelling into the room. The Phoenix whistled three times, waited four seconds and let out one long whistle before adding five short whistles and then disappeared.

“Dumbledore wants a meeting.” James translated.

“I bet it’s all about how your ex-partner is a big fat spy, Prongs.” Sirius muttered.

“Enough.” Lily remarked. “None of this right now, let’s just get her through tonight.”

Lily sat a few sandwiches onto the table.

“I just wish we could get her to a healer; see what could be causing the amnesia.” She murmured miserably.

“What do you think it could be?” James prodded.

 “I’m not sure. Many things can cause amnesia - malevolence or injury, perhaps. If it’s due to a malevolent curse or she’s been obliviated or imperio’d or something, maybe we can reverse it. If it’s an injury... well I’m not sure. Brains are tricky but maybe it can be healed, or I don’t know...” She trailed off frustrated. In her mind, it was either that her friend had been being cursed, or she sustained a brain injury that may not be able to be fixed.

“Maybe it’s something else, Red. We’ll find a way to fix this.” Sirius offered quietly, reaching for her hand across the table which she met. She smiled at him for a few moments.

“She really is the better part of you, isn’t she?” James interrupted.

“How do you mean?” He asked, moving his eyes and soft smile to James who he regarded a little cooler.

“Being all reasonable and optimistic. You’re giving Haz a run for his money being the most optimistic in the family, and he’s ignorant to anything that doesn’t fit in his mouth.” James clarified.

“Classy Prongs,” Sirius muttered. “Jokes at the expense of your own sprog when he’s not even awake to defend himself.”

The three friends chuckled, allowing some of the tension to dissipate from the room. Sirius would let it go for now, but he was less than pleased with his friend’s accusation. But James just wanted to protect his family, and that included Sirius and you, whether Sirius understood that or not.

Sirius rapped at the door gently. “It’s just me, erm, Sirius.” The door opened a crack, and he poked his head in. “Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head which he took as an invitation. He closed the door gently behind himself before he returned to the wingback chair he had settled in earlier. He had his own cup of tea and half a sandwich on a plate.

“Lily’s going to bring us some more tea later, maybe with some sleeping draught. Do you think you’ll need help sleeping tonight?” He said.

“You’re asking my permission?” You asked, which caused Sirius to nearly choke on his tea.

He looked at you incredulously for a moment. “Of course, I am. It’s your choice”

You seemed to think about that for a moment.  “Perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea, to have an aid.” You admitted finally.

He considered this. “Very well, we’ll get that brewed for you.”

Sirius continued to watch you. You fiddled with the hem of the sweatshirt you were wearing, which he recognized to be one of Lily’s. Lily, the beautiful Amazonian woman she was, meant the outfit was far too big for your smaller frame, especially with how much you had seemed to hollow out since Sirius last saw you. That’s okay, he reminded himself, we’ll get her all fixed up. He made a mental note to try to find what clothes of yours he still had at his and Moony’s flat. He suddenly felt simultaneously embarrassed and grateful he kept most of your old things, only donating what you hadn’t used in the past year and a half before you went missing. Remus had suggested placing some of his and Sirus’ favourites of yours in what muggles called Ziploc baggies which basically cast a stasis charm on it to keep it fresh. It may sound weird, but for Padfoot and Moony, both of them understood how comforting someone’s scent could be, and he was willing to look ‘weird’ for the sake of keeping what little of you that he could. He’d go shopping as well, to replace what he had given away. Maybe even get you a whole new wardrobe - when you were feeling better, you could come with him, pick out your own things.

Thinking about you feeling better, he looked up at you and noticed how not better you were. Your eyebrows were furrowed as if you were in pain, your knee was bouncing underneath you, and you kept looking at the doors.

“What is it, love? What’s wrong?” He asked, pushing his plate and cup aside and rising to kneel in front of you.

You looked at him, startled at first, before tears welled up in your eyes.

He remembered your flinch at Lily’s hand, so once he was on his knees, he slowly raised his hands and motioned for yours all while maintaining eye contact. You looked between his hands and his eyes for a moment before you lifted your hands into his. He wondered if you could hear his heartbeat as it bounced around in his chest. Your skin still felt cold – though he remembered that you always seemed to run colder than he did.

“What’s wrong love?” He asked again.

You began to cry in earnest. “I...” you choked out.

“You can tell me, it’s alright.” He offered.

“I have to pee!” You whispered through a sob. “I’m sorry.” You added. Sirius scrunched his eyebrows at you. Had this been anyone else, he would have started to laugh. But you seemed thoroughly distraught right now; your knee was still bouncing, and you looked so pained.

“Okay, that’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry for.” He offered. You made a disgruntled sound.

“Have you been waiting this whole time?” He asked. You cried some more and nodded.

“Oh love, okay. Come on.” He began to stand and used your hands that were still in his to pull you up. You stumbled a bit, but he steadied you.

You made your way to the bathroom, and he sat you on the toilet. “Do you, erm, are you okay to do...what you need to do, by yourself?” He asked awkwardly. You nodded quickly.

“Okay.” He smiled at you. “I’ll be just outside this door, okay?” He said as he backed out of the washroom. He closed the door, and he could hear you shuffling as you pulled down your trousers.

Merlin. She was nearly in a fit over asking to use the loo. Why would she wait to ask to go?

Sirius aggressively wiped his face, feeling tears burn his eyes. He heard the click of a door and moved his hands, expecting to see you but was surprised as Lily entered the bedroom.

“Hey. How’s she doing?” She asks as she peered around the room trying to spot her friend.

Sirius sighed. “She almost let her bladder burst waiting to be told she could use the loo.” He stated plainly.

“Oh Vix...” Lily tutted as she leaned against the back of the couch which faced the bathroom door. Sirius moved to join her.

“She’s open to a sleeping draught for tonight.” He offered. Lily just hummed.

“What are we doing to do, Pads?” She asked after some time.

“Be patient as hell, I guess.” He answered.

Lily chuckled and nudged Sirius with her shoulder. “Patience. A Sirius Black special.”

Lily watched as Sirius smirked and looked back at the bathroom door. Lily was right, of course; he was never very patient. He wasn’t the kind one of the group, he wasn’t always very understanding, and he surely wasn’t the patient one. He was loud, he was angry, he was crass, and he never slowed down, not for anyone. Except for her she remembered.

(Five summers ago)

The group of them had been getting ready to head to the Potter’s for a few weeks in the summer between 6th and 7th year; you had asked to be picked up last so that you didn’t hold everyone up. Sirius and James picked Lily up first, ever the timely one. They stopped at Remus’ next, who was mostly ready, but ran back inside four times as the others listed off things he may have forgotten. “Toothbrush?” Lily asked. “Fuck.” Remus muttered as he ran back inside the Lupin cottage. He emerged victorious with his toothbrush in hand.

“First thing we’re doing when we get to the manor is jumping in the lake. It’s too bloody hot today.” James muttered, which caused Remus to groan as he went back inside.

“Moooooonnyyyyyyy.” Sirius whined as his friend disappeared.

This happened two more times for his sandals a a pair of sunglasses which was met with a lot of whining from Sirius before they were ready to go.

Next stop was Peter’s house; they were met by Peter’s mother who showed them to his room which was nothing short of a disaster.

“Peter Pettigrew!” She shrilled at him from the door. “You are not to leave this room like this, do you hear me young man?!” She demanded as she started down the hallway.

“Great, now we have to wait for him to finish packing and clean his bloody room.” Sirius muttered as he kicked Peter’s school bag aside to sit on his desk chair.

“Wormy, you knew we were coming and what time. In fact, we’re late. How are you not ready?” Remus asked incredulously, trying to help Peter fold his clothes and put it in his bag as the kid continued running around his room throwing things on his bed which was deemed to be the ‘pack’ pile.

“’Cause he’s a wanker, that’s why.” Sirius muttered none-too-quietly from his moping spot in the desk chair which earned him a flick in the head from James.

“Now, now, Pads. We’ll make it home eventually.” He chuckled.

“Listen, I’m sweaty, I’ve been travelling around all of the UK picking up you knob heads and we still have one stop. I wanna gooooooooo.” He whined petulantly.

“Okay well you can whine all you want to Vixen since she’s our last stop then. Maybe she’ll feel bad for you.” Lily offered, zipping up Peter’s first of three bags he ended up leaving with.

Entirely too long later, they travelled to a spot close to your house and began the trek, the sun still high in the sky and accosting Sirius.

“Too bloody hot for this.” He muttered to himself as he knocked a little impolitely on your door. A few moments later, a frazzled looking you swung the door open and looked at your five friends.

“Oh God, here we go.” Lily muttered as she was sure Sirius’ whining was going to continue at the lack of a packed bag in your hand. She was completely astounded however when he rushed inside and shut the door behind him, leaving his four other friends outside. The said friends shared a bemused look before leaning their ears against the door.

“What’s the matter?” Sirius asked you gently. They heard a small sniffle.

“I’m sorry Siri. I’m not ready. I slept through my alarms and then I had to do laundry and the washing machine is giving me problems and my dad is away for work so I had to make sure everything was set up because the cats will be alone for the rest of the week and I’m not ready and I’m sorry.” You finished taking a long breath which sounded like it was close to becoming a sob.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. Not a problem at all love, come on. Let’s get you packed up. We’ve got time.” Sirius could be heard saying before your sets of footsteps moved further into the house.

“‘We’ve got time’ he says.” Peter muttered, mimicking his friend as he kicked a pebble.

“There’s always time for Vix, Wormy. You know this.” James said as he winked at Peter and slung his arm over Lily.

(Present)

Lily and Sirius heard water running and knew you were finished. They waited for a few moments but when you never exited the bathroom, they shared a quick glance.

Sirius moved up to the door and gently knocked. “You okay?” As he waited for a response, he made eye contact with Lily.

“Yeah.” You answered through the door.

“Are you done?”

You were silent for a moment before you answered, “yes.”

Lily and Sirius looked at each other again for a moment. “I’m gonna open the door then, alright?” He didn’t receive an answer, so opened the door slowly.

You were leaning your weight against the bathroom sink and had your arms wrapped around yourself protectively.

“Feel better?” Sirius asked gently, offering you his hand.

You looked from his hand to his eyes. “Yes. Thank you.” You said as gently took his hand. He placed your arm in his and helped you towards the bed on the other side of the room.

“No need to thank me, love.” He offered as he helped you up onto the bed. It seemed to be a little too high for you, and Sirius made a note to put a step stool here for you tomorrow.

“Y/N, the bathroom is there for you whenever. No one else will use it. If you ever need help, you can let me know, okay?” Lily offered.

“Anything,” Sirius added solemnly, lifting the duvet for you to climb in under. “You can ask for anything, okay?”

You fiddled with the duvet and quilt after it was set on top of your lap.

“Is there anything you can think of now that you want or need?” He asked, ducking his head to try to look into your eyes.

You searched his eyes, the silver gaze so familiar against his black hair.

Sirius was about to give up and look to Lily when you finally answered. “I don’t think so.”

He smiled gently at you. “That’s alright. I’ll think of lots of things for you.”

“I’m sure Pads already has a list compiled.” Lily snorted from the end of the bed.

“As a matter of fact, my dear Red, I do.” He smirked at her as he began tidying up the room.

“She’ll need some clothes...” Lily started.

“Already on it. And we’re gonna get a stool so she doesn’t have to haul herself up into that tall ass bed. We’ll get her the shampoo she likes; we can’t let those locks suffer.” He added with a wink in your direction.

Lily took the dishes Sirius had collected and brought them to the kitchen where she began the tea just as Remus came back in through the front door with a box in his hands.

“This is about two weeks of dreamless sleep if she needs one every night. I can get more if she needs it.” He said as he placed the box on the kitchen table.

“Thank you, Rem, I’m sure this will be a great help.” She smiled at her friend before kissing his cheek.

“How’s he holding up?” He asked. She knew he was worried about his roommate.

Sirius’ feelings for you have never been quiet nor simple. In fairness to her friend, he had always lived with his heart on his sleeve; his feelings written all over his face. His love for you had always been palpable. They thought they were going to lose him when they lost you, and in some ways, they did. They lost the slightly gentler side of Sirius, the side that would give pause when his friends needed it, who tried to see the good in everybody first. 

His better half was back, but not really. Sirius wasn’t usually able to live by halves and they wondered how this would play out while they waited for you to remember something, anything.

“He’s hanging in there. He’s been really strong for her.” She answered gently as the tea pot started to whistle. Remus hummed in acknowledgment.

“She always was the strong one for us, when it mattered most. Seems fitting he returns the favour.” He admitted.

The sleeping draught tea made, Lily re-entered the bedroom with Remus where they found Sirius setting up the couch with a pillow and some blankets.

“Having yourself a slumber party here, Pads?” Remus asked lightly.

“Yeah, I think I’ll stay here for tonight, keep our guest company. Try not to miss me too much, alright Moony?” He offered cajolingly, but Remus and Lily knew; he wouldn’t be leaving your side any time soon, not unless you asked him to.

Continue to part 2 here.

[leona-hawthorne]

KINKTOBER #6– MY PRETTY LITTLE WIFE / mattheo riddle

october 21st somnophilia , body worship , overstim

mattheo riddle x fem reader

summary: one year anniversary with your husband

warnings: unprotected piv, somnophilia, overstim, oral (f receiving), fingering, praise, body worship, arranged marriage

words: 4.9k

a/n: the struggle that i had writing this was insane… i just never felt like i could get it quite right, but i’m gonna stop overthinking it. don’t really love it but that’s alright!

navigation kinktober masterlist

Mattheo lay beside you, staring at the ceiling, eyes tracing the same cracks in the plaster as they have for months. The morning light slipped through the curtains in thin slivers, cutting through the quiet of the room like the unspoken words that have hung in the air since the day you both said, “I do.”

It had been a year. A year of stolen glances and lingering touches that never went too far. A year of pretending the hunger in his chest wasn't real, that the way you looked at him sometimes didn't make his heart race in ways it shouldn't. He couldn't deny it anymore, not to himself. He wanted you—had wanted you for longer than he was willing to admit. But want was dangerous, and with it came the risk of exposing everything he'd been trying to keep buried.

So he stayed still, as he had for the past year, his heart pounding a rhythm that only he could hear. The tension remained, hanging over him, heavy and unrelenting, a constant reminder that something had to give. He just didn't know when—or how—it would finally break.

You were still asleep, your body turned away from him, and for a moment, Mattheo wondered if it was better this way—silent. No more venom-laced words. No more walls built so high neither of you could see over them.

His eyes raked over your figure, the rise and fall of your breathing hypnotic, and his fingers itched with the urge to reach out. He wouldn’t, though. Not after the way you’ve pushed him away all this time. And yet, here you were, in the same bed, your presence so close it suffocated him with all that’s left unsaid.

A year. A fucking year, and it felt like neither of you had taken a single step toward each other. But in this quiet morning, something was different. He could feel it, hanging heavy in the air. An anniversary isn’t just a date, it’s a reckoning—a moment to confront what’s been festering between you two for so long.

You stirred, rolling onto your back, eyes still closed, lips parted in a soft sigh. Mattheo’s heart stuttered. That sigh—it wasn’t laced with frustration. It was almost peaceful. For a split second, he wondered if you might wake up and look at him without that familiar disdain.

But then you turned again, away from him, and the moment slipped like sand through his fingers.

Mattheo clenched his jaw. He was tired of this—this endless dance of anger and yearning, frustration and desire. He hated you for how you’d made him feel—helpless, raw, desperate in a way that terrified him. And yet, he wanted you more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life.

Today was supposed to mean something. The thought burrowed into his mind, gnawing at him. It’s your anniversary. One year of this madness. One year of pretending like it doesn’t hurt to be this close and yet so far.

He shifted, sitting up, his gaze never leaving you. The silence was heavier than it’s ever been. It was thick with the weight of everything unsaid, every insult, every half-glance, every touch that never happened.

“Happy anniversary, princess,” he muttered under his breath, the words dripping with sarcasm—but also something else, something bitter and almost…sad.

You didn’t stir. You didn’t hear him.

Of course you didn’t.

Maybe that was for the best.

Mattheo’s heart twisted in ways he didn’t want to admit as he watched you sleep. In sleep, you were untouchable, your face a canvas of peace he's never had the privilege of seeing when your eyes are open. No biting words, no tension pulling at the corners of your mouth. You were beautiful in a way that cut him to the core—a beauty that made him ache, made him question if he's ever hated you at all.

Gods, you were unreal.

He hated how easily that thought slipped in, how it consumed him as his eyes drank in the soft curve of your lips, the way your lashes fluttered ever so slightly against your cheek, even in sleep. There was no defense here, no barbed words to keep him at bay. Just you, unaware of the havoc you wreaked inside him.

Mattheo swallowed hard, his hand twitching at his side. He shouldn’t. He knew he shouldn’t. But the need was there, creeping up his spine like a poison he couldn’t shake. Just one touch—just to feel you without the wall of tension between you.

His fingers moved before he could stop himself, ghosting over the back of your hand where it lay beside you. The touch was light, barely there, but it sent a shiver through him all the same. He watched your face for any sign of waking, but you remained still, lost in whatever dream kept you so blissfully unaware of the storm raging inside him.

His heart pounded in his chest as his hand trailed upward, brushing against the soft skin of your forearm. He couldn’t help it. The urge to feel more of you was overwhelming, drowning out every rational thought that told him to stop. His touch was feather-light, almost reverent, as if he were afraid to wake you, to break whatever fragile peace had settled over this moment.

You shifted slightly, and Mattheo froze, his breath catching in his throat. But you didn’t wake. Instead, you murmured something incoherent, a soft sound that tugged at something deep in his chest. His fingers itched to go further, to trace the curve of your jaw, to let his thumb brush over your lips—lips he’d thought about far too many times in the dark when sleep refused to come.

He moved closer, his body inching toward yours, until he could feel the warmth of your skin radiating toward him. His fingers hovered just above your cheek now, hesitating. If you woke up now, what would you do? What would you say if you saw him like this, caught between resentment and something far more dangerous?

But you didn’t wake. You stayed still, serene, and Mattheo’s fingers finally grazed your cheek, the softness of your skin like fire under his touch. His thumb brushed just below your bottom lip, and his heart stuttered in his chest. He was too far gone now. The beauty of your silence, your stillness, had him unraveling.

For a moment, he let himself imagine a world where this wasn’t an accident, where you wanted his touch. A world where you turned toward him, those lips parting beneath his thumb, inviting him closer instead of pushing him away.

But that world wasn’t real. And he knew the second you woke, that wall would slam back up between you, higher than ever before.

Still, in this stolen moment, with you so close and unaware, Mattheo let himself fall—just a little further.

"Just a dream, princess..." he whispered, voice low and sultry, as if the very words could tether you to this moment forever. It was a lie, but one he relished—the illusion that this was safe, that you wouldn't wake up and shatter it all with your reality.

He leaned closer, just inches from your face, his breath mingling with the morning air. Your lips were soft, slightly parted, and he felt an overwhelming urge to taste them. Instead, he pressed a gentle kiss against the corner of your mouth, his heart racing at the intimacy of it, but the touch was still too innocent, too soft for what he craved.

"Mattheo..." you murmured, stirring slightly but not waking, and the sound sent a thrill racing down his spine. That voice—so full of vulnerability, so beautifully unguarded—made him ache in ways he didn't know he could.

"You don't even know," he breathed, his fingers trailing down to your neck, the warmth of your pulse thrumming against his skin like a live wire. He wanted to mark you, to claim you in a way that was irrevocable, but he held back, letting the reverence of the moment wash over him instead.

But the longing grew insatiable. With a slight hesitation, he slid his hand lower, fingertips brushing against your collarbone, down the slope of your shoulder, and over the soft swell of your breast, barely there but electric all the same. The connection sent shockwaves through him, a heady mix of need and desire surging like wildfire beneath his skin.

You shifted again, breath hitching in your throat, and Mattheo's heart raced. He leaned closer, lips hovering just above your ear, whispering like he was sharing a secret that belonged only to the two of you. "Just let me touch you... just like this."

His fingers curled gently around the curve of your breast, a cautious exploration, but the warmth spreading through him ignited a deeper hunger. He longed to feel every part of you, to drown in the intimacy that had always felt just out of reach. The feel of the soft fabric of your nightgown beneath his palm only fueled the fire inside him.

You stirred once more, a soft sigh escaping your lips. The sound cracked through whatever restraint he had left. With a sudden rush of desire, he pressed his palm firmly against you, feeling your heartbeat.

"Stay still," he murmured again, his voice thick with something almost raw. "Let me have this."

He wanted to hear you say his name, to see the look in your eyes when you realized this wasn't a dream. He wanted you to respond to him, to melt under his touch, and it drove him wild, the thought of making you unravel.

Mattheo’s other hand came up to cup your cheek tenderly, angling your face toward him as he deepened the pressure of his palm against your breast. He was drunk on the sensation of you against him—the warmth, the softness, the quickening rhythm of your heart beneath his fingers.

A part of him feared waking you now, fearful of losing this ethereal contact before it faded away. Somnolently, he tilted your chin upward, his thumb brushing lightly across your lower lip, tracing the delicate curves. His own breathing grew ragged, punctuated by low, steadying exhales.

The darkness of dawn clung to the edges of the room, yet in that moment, illuminated solely by the glow of the sun seeping through the curtains, they might have been lost in some alternate realm where such actions were permissible.

Slowly, deliberately, Mattheo leaned in, his breath ghosting over your lips, teasing them apart just enough for his tongue to graze your inner flesh. The gesture, though chaste, buzzed with unspoken promises.

His gaze flickered down to your nightgown, the lace edges calling to him in a way he couldn’t resist. Before long, your eyes fluttered open to the feel of his fingers skimming your damp folds, prodding and poking at your entrance, his touch feather-light and hesitant. His eyes darkened as they met yours, a soft hum escaping his lips as he noticed the drowsy lust in your dazed eyes.

With agonizing slowness, his fingers traced your slit, gathering the dewy evidence of your arousal. “Shh, sleep a little longer,” he coaxed, voice dripping with desire, circling your entrance with his thumb. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. Just sleep. You’re dreaming, princess.”

Then, without warning, he sank a finger deep inside you, reveling in the tight heat that welcomed him. He moved languidly, savoring the slick glide as he pumped in and out in a slow, hypnotic rhythm. Your body reacted instinctively to the invasion, tiny gasps spilling from your lips, though your mind lingered in the haze of half-sleep.

Confusion swam in your half-lidded gaze as you stared up at him, your brow furrowing slightly as you struggled to make sense of the sensations assaulting your senses. A soft whimper escaped your throat, part protest, part plea, as your hips canted upwards almost imperceptibly into his touch. “What are you… Stop…”

But even as you whispered the denial, your body betrayed you, a fresh surge of wetness coating his invading digit. Mattheo swallowed hard, his free hand coming up to cradle your cheek, thumb brushing over your parted lips in a gesture meant to soothe even as his touch between your thighs grew bolder, a second finger joining the first in their relentless quest to unravel you completely.

His fingers stilled momentarily, the contrast between his touch on your cheek and the intensity between your thighs palpable. “Don’t fight with me, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice low and raw. “For once, please don’t fucking right with me.”

Desperation lingered in his plea, a vulnerability he rarely showed. “Let me take care of you… just this once. Let me show you how good it could be between us.”

Your chest rose and fell with each shaky breath, your eyes drifting shut as you surrendered to the unfamiliar sensations, the resistance in your muscles melting away.

With a tender kiss to your forehead, he resumed his gentle assault, pumping his fingers in and out of your slick heat with increasing depth and purpose. The wet sounds of your heat filled the room, punctuated by your own ragged pants and the occasional whimper that escaped your throat.

"You're so beautiful like this, sleepyhead," he murmured, his voice a husky whisper against your skin. "So perfect..."

As he continued to stroke you with deliberate slowness, he could feel your walls beginning to flutter around his fingers, a sign that you were nearing the precipice of release.

"Come on, baby," he coaxed, his tone a seductive purr. "Let go for me. I want to see you fall apart. For once, let’s use this bed for what it was made for.”

Your climax crashed over you in waves, nails digging into the sheets beneath you, fisting the fabric as you rode out the aftershocks, shuddering with the force of your orgasm.

Mattheo watched you intently as he withdrew his fingers from your spasming channel, bringing them to his mouth to taste your essence. A low groan rumbled in his chest as he savored the flavor of you, his eyes darkening with renewed hunger.

"Do you have any fucking idea what you do you me?” His voice was raw, a broken show of the desperate man he’d become. “Prancing around the house in those tiny little silk shorts, cursing up a storm at me anytime you got the chance," he muttered, his voice roughened by need. "So fucking hot. Wanted to touch you, taste you, take you in every position possible."

His lips trailed a searing path up your inner thigh, pausing to nip at the tender flesh before continuing his ascent. "Can’t count the amount of times I’ve imagined bending you over the kitchen counter and fucking you raw every time you’ve screamed at me for leaving my dirty clothes on the floor.”

Mattheo's words painted a vivid picture, each filthy promise igniting a firestorm of desire within you. Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined your cold, distant husband harboring such primal urges towards you.

He paused as his lips reached your cunt, breath fanning over your wetness. "Tell me to stop, Y/N,” he growled, his voice a low challenge. "Order me to leave you alone, and I will. But if you don't..." His tongue darted out, licking a broad stripe up your center, tasting the lingering proof of your recent climax. "If you don't say 'stop', I'm going to devour you whole."

Mattheo's threat hung in the air, a tantalizing promise that sent shivers down your spine. Every fiber of your being screamed at you to push him away, to reclaim the distance that had grown between you over the past year.

Instead, you felt your hips twitch upward, seeking more of that intoxicating contact. A soft moan escaped your lips, the sound barely audible over the pounding of your heartbeat. "Please," you breathed, the single word a plea and a surrender all at once. "I...I don't want you to stop."

A triumphant growl rumbled in Mattheo's chest as he claimed your submission, his mouth descending upon your dripping core with unbridled hunger. His tongue delved deep, lapping at your folds with reckless abandon, savoring the unique taste of your arousal.

“Mmphh—” You tried forming coherent words but they wouldn’t come out. Your hands flew to his head, tangling in his hair as you held him close, encouraging his relentless assault.

Mattheo sucked gently on your clit, flicking the sensitive bud with the tip of his tongue before moving lower to lap at your entrance, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive flesh. "Fuck, you taste incredible," he rasped, his voice muffled against you. "Can't get enough."

As your moans grew louder, more frantic, he slipped two fingers back inside you, curling them just right to hit that spot that made stars explode behind your eyelids. His name fell from your lips like a prayer, a desperate plea for more, for everything he could give you.

He obliged, doubling his efforts, determined to wring every last drop of pleasure from your quivering body. "That's it, baby," he urged, his words vibrating against your core. "Let go. Come for me again."

Your second climax slammed into you with the force of a tidal wave, stealing the breath from your lungs and rendering you boneless beneath Mattheo's ravishing mouth.

But Mattheo didn't relent, not even when you went limp, your body thrashing in the throes of ecstasy. If anything, he redoubled his efforts, suckling harder on your oversensitive clit, dragging out another orgasm from you.

His actions bordered on cruelty, yet you couldn't bring yourself to protest, too lost in the overwhelming sensations he evoked.

Despite the blissful haze clouding your mind, a faint thread of panic began to unfurl, urging you to put a halt to this merciless onslaught before you shattered completely.

With a shaky hand, you managed to grasp Mattheo's hair, attempting to gently push his face away from your throbbing sex. "S-stop," you whimpered, the words tumbling out in a desperate plea. "Too much, can't take it..."

Mattheo ignored your feeble attempts to push him away, his mouth continuing its ruthless assault on your oversensitive sex. He pulled his fingers out of you and hooked your legs over his shoulders, only burying his face deeper in your cunt. "Not gonna stop," he groaned against you, his words a heated whisper against your slick folds. "Making up for all the times I didn't touch you. That's my job as your husband, right? To make you feel good. Let me make up for all the times I denied you that."

"Oh god, oh fuck, please..." you gasped, your hips bucking erratically as Mattheo drove you to new heights of ecstasy.

Tears streamed down your face, the overwhelming sensations threatening to tear you apart at the seams. Yet, even as your body trembled with exhaustion, you craved more, desperate for the release only Mattheo could provide.

"P-please," you sobbed, your voice raw and broken. "I n-need...I need..." Words failed you, your mind too fractured to articulate the depths of your desires.

Mattheo seemed to understand, his gaze locking onto yours with fierce intensity. "Shh, I know,"

He murmured soothingly, his warm breath caressing your fevered skin. "Just let go, baby. Give it to me. I've got you."

With those reassuring words, he sealed his lips around your throbbing clit once more, sucking hard. The sensations proved too much to bear, and with a keening wail, you surrendered to the torrent of pleasure crashing over you.

“Fuck! Oh, fuck.” Your orgasm ripped through you like a wildfire, consuming everything in its path. You convulsed wildly, your vision blurring as waves of ecstasy washed over you in relentless succession.

Slowly, he lifted his head, his lips glistening with your essence. "Beautiful," he breathed, his eyes burning with a possessive heat. "So fucking beautiful when you come undone for me."

With gentle hands, Mattheo reached for the hem of your nightgown, slowly peeling the fabric upwards to reveal inch after inch of smooth, unblemished skin. His gaze followed the movement, drinking in the sight of your bare flesh as if it were the most exquisite treasure he'd ever laid eyes on.

"God, look at you," he whispered, his voice thick with awe and hunger. "Perfect. Absolutely perfect."

He cupped your breasts, thumbs grazing over sensitive nipples, coaxing them to peak under his gentle touch. "And these...fuck, these are gorgeous. So responsive, so eager for my attention." He leaned in, capturing a nipple between his lips, suckling softly as he rolled the other between his fingers.

Every part of you was adored, worshiped, cherished—from your soft throat to the dip of your waist, from your round ass to the delicate skin of your inner thighs.

"You're stunning," he murmured, his hands gliding over your body with a reverence that took your breath away. "Every curve, every shadow...all mine. You’re fucking incredible."

His touch was tender, almost shy, as if he feared you might vanish if he wasn't careful. But there was a hardness to his gaze, a wildness that promised untold pleasures.

Mattheo trailed his lips across the landscape of your body, his mouth worshiping every swell and hollow with heartfelt devotion. From the elegant column of your throat to the tantalizing curves of your tits, he savored each inch with tender care.

Kisses peppered the valley between your breasts, his hot breath fanning across your skin. Downward he moved, tracing the gentle arc of your ribs, the dip of your navel, mapping the secrets of your body with lips and tongue.

Your skin tingled under his ardent attentions, each brush of his lips stoking the embers smoldering low in your belly.

He continued down your quivering body, trailing open-mouthed caresses along your thighs as his strong hands gripped your calves, kneading the supple flesh with appreciative murmurs.

"You temptress," he chided gently, pressing fervent kisses to the arches of your ankles. "For months now, you've been driving me mad without even realizing it. Sleeping in your tiny shorts, bending over just so, glaring at me with those eyes..."

"You're not serious," you mumbled, your voice laced with disbelief even as your heart raced at the thought. Could it really be true that he'd been craving you for so long? That you had unwittingly tormented him with your mere presence? You couldn’t bring yourself to believe it.

Yet, as you looked into Mattheo's intense gaze, saw the hunger and admiration etched on his features, a small spark of hope flickered to life within your chest.

"You have no idea what you do to me. One glance from those gorgeous eyes, and I'm putty in your hands. I’m fucking defenseless against you."

He brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, his fingertips grazing your skin with a feather-light touch. "Look at you, spread out like a feast before me. My God, you're breathtaking. Every curve, every freckle, every goddamn thing about you is perfection incarnate."

Mattheo's eyes burned into yours, his gaze heavy with lust and need. His hand slid up your thigh, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he urged you closer.

"Tell me, Y/N," he purred, his voice low and seductive. "Are you going to let me fuck you? Are you going to let me be your husband properly?”

He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as he spoke. "I want to do this shit right. Just give me a do-over. Let me fuck you. Please let me fuck you. Let me love you like you deserve to be loved.”

After a moment of hesitation, you felt your resolve crumble under the intensity of Mattheo's gaze. A shaky exhale left your lips as you nodded, a tentative smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"Show me," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your own heartbeat. "Show me what it means to be your wife."

Your words seemed to ignite a fire within Mattheo. In an instant, he was hovering over you, his body a delicious weight pinning you to the mattress. His lips crashed against yours in a searing kiss, desperate and hungry, as if he were trying to devour you whole.

Breaking the kiss, he trailed his lips along your jawline, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin until you were writhing beneath him. "Fuck, baby," he growled, his voice rough with desire. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this."

He rocked his hips against yours, the hard length of him grinding against your core through the thin fabric of his boxers. The friction sent jolts of pleasure coursing through your veins, stoking the flames of your own arousal.

With a rapid urgency, Mattheo yanked his boxers down, freeing himself from their confines. His erection sprang forth, thick and hard, the tip glistening with precum. He positioned himself at your entrance, the head of his cock teasing your slick folds.

"Are you ready for me, princess?" he rasped, his voice strained with barely contained restraint. "I promise I'll make it good for you. So fucking good."

Without waiting for a response, he thrust forward, burying himself to the hilt inside your tight heat. A guttural moan tore from his throat at the exquisite sensation, his eyes fluttering closed as he savored the feeling of finally being one with you.

Mattheo's hips snapped forward, driving deep into your welcoming warmth with each powerful stroke. He set a relentless pace, his thick cock stretching and filling you completely with every thrust.

"Oh, fuck, Y/N," he groaned, his forehead pressed against yours as he battled to maintain control. "Tight little thing, aren’t you? Just relax, breathe."

His hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your flesh as he pulled you onto him, meeting each of his deep, punishing drives. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room, punctuated by your moans.

Mattheo's movements became more erratic, his rhythm faltering as he neared the edge. Sweat beaded on his brow, dripped down the sides of his face, mingling with the strands of hair that clung to his forehead.

"You feel...fuck, you feel incredible," he panted, his breaths coming in short gasps. "Like heaven wrapped around my cock."

With a final, brutal plunge, Mattheo buried himself to the hilt and held there, his pulsing cock throbbing inside you as he rode out his orgasm. A hoarse moan ripped from his throat, his body shuddering with the force of his release as he emptied himself deep within your welcoming depths, but your own peak still remained frustratingly out of reach.

"Don't stop," you pleaded, your voice a breathy whisper against his sweat-slicked skin. "Please, Mattheo... I need..."

You trailed off, unable to find the words to express the aching emptiness that still gnawed at your core.

A wicked grin spread across Mattheo’s face, his spent cock still buried inside your fluttering sheath.

"Mmm, greedy girl," he purred, his voice a low rumble in his chest. "So eager for more."

He rolled his hips, grinding against your sensitive clit as he began to move again, his strokes languid and deliberate.

"That's it, baby," he coaxed, his breath hot against your ear. "Give it to me. I wanna feel you fall apart on my cock."

Mattheo's words, his fingered squeezing your hips hard enough to bruise, the way he moved inside you—it all combined to push you closer and closer to the brink.

"Yes, oh god, yes!" you cried out, your voice high and urgent. "A-ah, don't stop, please don't stop!"

Your nails dug into Mattheo's back, scoring his skin as you arched up to meet his thrusts. The coil of tension inside you wound tighter and tighter, until finally, with a sharp cry, you shattered. Waves of ecstasy washed over you, your pussy clenching around Mattheo's still-moving cock as you came hard. His gaze softened as he stared down at you.

"Precious girl," he murmured, his thumb brushing lightly over your quivering lip. Slowly, he withdrew from your slick heat, allowing your tender folds to flutter closed around the departing intrusion.

Rolling onto your side, you tucked a pillow under your head and turned to face Mattheo, who was now propped up on one elbow, watching you with an unreadable expression.

"What does this mean, Mattheo?" you asked quietly, reaching out to trace a finger along the ridges of his abdomen. "For us, I mean. What happens now?"

Mattheo's gaze drifted from your face to the path of your wandering fingertip, a small, enigmatic smile playing on his lips. He reached out, capturing your hand in his and bringing it to rest over his heart, which thumped steadily beneath your palm.

"We’ll figure it out.”

kinktober taglist: @mattheoriddles-slutt @theeslutintheroom @esmerai-artemis @gigival @cloudyyydayzzz @sn000py @abeoavita @yesiamthatwierd @shaquilles-0atmeal @roseofsharron438 @iouinotes @romantasyreader28 @c3liaaaaa @sleepiibunniiii @chemtrailsoverhogwarts @daenerystorgaryen @catching-fire-in-the-wind @emma-grace0 @tori-303 @ilovehpb0ys

[mountttmase]

I Bet You Miss Her

Note - Hey guys 🩷 just a cute little baby fic today and thank you to the anon who sent the request in, I hope it’s okay for you 😘 feedback would be appreciated 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 5K

Warnings - angst and fluff

Mason always loved a pre-season party, getting everyone together after weeks apart and excited for the season to start usually meant he was in his element but this year was different. You weren’t with him this time.

That didn’t mean he didn’t see you everywhere he looked. That when he watched one of his teammates wrap their arm around their significant other he didn’t feel a pang of emptiness because you weren’t by his side. He knew he should be there with you and he knew this was all his doing but being here hurt more than thought it might.

He felt lost. His arms limp by his sides as he couldn’t figure out what to do with his hands now they weren’t wrapped around yours. His eyes glued to the floor as he knew he’d still be looking for you even though you were miles away and as he stood with Licha and his family he was trying his best to act normal and not let his inner turmoil spill over.

‘So Mase, where’s y/n?’ Muri asked, a bright and friendly smile on her face as she wrapped her hand around Licha’s bicep and the sound of your name sent shock waves through him. He’d been expecting it for a while but he wasn’t sure if he wanted your name brought up in conversation or not. On the one hand he was desperate for someone to bring you up so he could imagine you once more and have an excuse to talk about you but he also knew the memories would just be too painful just like they always were.

‘Oh uh, she’s on a work trip. She’ll be back in a few days’ Mason lied smoothly. His lips pressed into a tight line as he fiddled with the last button on his shirt but thankfully she bought his excuse.

‘Ah amazing, she doing so well for herself. I bet you miss her though’ she pouted and her sympathy just made him feel worse somehow.

‘Yeah, yeah I really do’ Masons whispered and it was like the words hit him in his soul. Gulping back a lump that was rising up his through far too quickly for his liking before raising his glass to his lips in a final attempt to disguise his emotions.

Today had been a lot.

It was officially three months since the breakup and Mason couldn’t have felt worse if he tried.

Nothing had caused the pair of you to break up, nothing big at least. The move from London to Manchester had been tough for the pair of you and you knew he was finding it hard to settle. The constant injuries meant he spent more time with the United staff rather than his teammates that he should have been bonding with and unbeknownst to you one of them was having more of an effect on him than you knew.

What started off as bickering as you were both on edge became bigger arguments as the season wore on. Mason spending longer hours with his new friend on the physio table and at first you didn’t mind because it gave you a chance to cool off but soon enough it got to the point of no return for him.

You always figured the fighting was a phase and something to move past but the morning of a big away game, his first start since October the year before, he’d told you he couldn’t carry on and felt it was best if the pair of you ended things there so it didn’t get any worse.

You were blindsided, it never being in your head that he would end things as you knew you loved him enough to work through it but as soon as he left for the game you packed your car until it was full and made your way back home to London later that evening.

It felt like he was taking the easy way out. Not giving you a chance to fight or say anything back, just telling you he was done and running away so he didn’t have to face the consequences but if that’s what he wanted then that’s what he would get. Driving back to your best friend's house who was ready to welcome you with open arms whilst you cursed his name all night. Confused as to how you’d even got here but you were hoping that when he returned home he’d feel just as awful as you were.

The game went terribly, Mason not really ready to play the amount of time he had been given and even though he wasn’t really to blame the loss hit harder than most. Not speaking a word to anyone unless he had to on the flight home and once he was back in his car he finally let his emotions get the better of him. Slamming his head onto the steering wheel before letting the first few tears fall.

This felt like rock bottom.

Mason knew you were gone as soon as he got home. Your car was gone and your house keys left in the dish on the console table told him as much when he walked in, but he could also feel you were gone. Your presence had been sucked right out of the home you’d built together and Mason felt awful instantly. He’d known since he stepped onto the plane yesterday morning that he’d made a mistake and all he wanted after an awful 12 hours or so was for you to make him feel better like you always did.

He tried every way known to man to try and get a hold of you but nothing seemed to be working. Even contemplating sending a messenger pigeon if he thought that might have worked but after five days of nothing from you he knew you were done. He’d made his bed and now he just had to lie in it no matter how uncomfortable it was.

In the end he figured he’d just wait for you to come to your senses and reply as you must be missing him just as much as he was missing you but the call never came. Just days that turned into weeks of waiting and waiting and soon enough the inevitable questions as to your whereabouts came.

Muri wasn't the first person to ask after you and she wasn’t the first to have been lied to by Mason. Everyone who mentioned you he managed to fob off with a different excuse and at this point you’d been on more girls trips and work trips than he could shake a stick at. He was running out of excuses though and he’d told his mum you’d been ill for so long that she was threatening to come and look after you herself but Mason always had it covered.

He was surprised he’d managed to get away with it for this long without someone coming back at him, thinking word must have gotten back to you eventually but no one ever questioned him and his spiral of lies just kept getting deeper. Too embarrassed to admit he’d let go of the best thing to ever happen to him so he kept going until the excuses no longer sounded plausible.

Where were you? Oh, yeah she’s at the dentist, she’s gone back home to visit her family for a few days, she’s already got plans she can’t cancel he lied but before he knew it he was paying for his sins.

It was 11pm a few days after the pre-season party and Mason was just about to get ready for bed. Switching his tv off and taking his snacks back to the kitchen but that’s as far as he got. The sudden sound of pounding fists on his door startled him and he froze in fear for a moment before he quickly pulled up the doorbell app on his phone. It was clearly a little slow to alert him to someone being outside but was met with a sight he thought he’d never see again.

He was running to open the door in a flash, pulling it open so quickly you almost fell inside as you were still aggressively slamming your fists on it and once you’d gathered yourself Mason swore he’d never seen you so mad before.

‘Why are you telling everyone we’re still together?’ You demanded, your voice loud and hard and he felt his tummy drop as the seconds went by. A deep feeling of regret but also love for you swimming through him and he didn’t quite know what to say.

‘Wha… what are you doing here?’ He asked, trying to avoid the question a little bit he knew it was for nothing. You were beyond furious.

‘Work trip, funnily enough’ you laughed but he knew there wasn’t an ounce of humour in it. Clearly word had gotten back to you and at this moment he didn’t know if he was happy about it or not. ��Now answer my question’

‘I- I don’t know-‘

‘‘Keep my name out of your mouth, Mason. You broke up with me, remember? You don’t get to do this’ you cut him off, ready to turn around and leave as you had nothing else to say to him but as soon as you looked away his helpless voice ran through the air.

‘Baby please-‘

‘Don’t’ you snapped, holding your finger up so he would stop talking. Your voice now cold compared to what it just was and Mason realised in that moment he’d rather have you angry at him than whatever this was. ‘Just don’t. You don’t get to call me that’

‘Don’t go, I fucked up but we can fix this’ he pleaded but you didn’t come here to talk. You came to tell him to leave you alone and you weren’t prepared for this at all.

‘No we cant-‘

‘Baby please-‘

‘No Mason! Why are you doing this to me? Have you not put me through enough?’ You shouted as you turned back to him fully, your emotions getting the better of you as you tried and failed to hold in a sob and your hands were now balled up into fists as you were so frustrated with the boy in front of you. ‘I’m trying to move on with my life but I’ve got people asking me about you all the time and bringing you up cause you’re still living in some weird fantasy land!’

‘Please baby, please don’t cry I can fix it’ he whimpered as he moved closer to you but made sure to take a step back so he didn’t get too close.

‘There’s nothing to fix! We’re done!’

‘No we’re not. Don't say that okay, you’re mine’ he sobbed as he ran his fingers through his hair erratically. ‘What do you want from me, huh? What is it cause whatever it is I’ll do it now. You want me on my knees? You want me to beg for you back cause I don’t care I’ll do it’ he told you, lowering himself onto the ground in front of you but all it did was make you sob harder. ‘I don’t care that you hate me, I don’t care that you think we’re done. I love you and I'm not giving up on us ever when I know we can work this out’ he cried. ‘Why won’t you listen to me’

‘Because you’re a coward, Mase! You broke up with me before an away game so you could run away. You didnt fight for me then and you don't get to fight for me now’

‘Please’

‘No’ you told him, hoping that could be the end of it so you turned in your heel and ran away. Knowing that he’d be delayed by a few seconds if he wanted to get up and chase you but by the time you’d got in your car and looked back he hadn’t moved from his spot. His chest now pressed to the floor as he’d slumped forward with his head hidden in the crook of his arm and you could see his back moving erratically up and down from what you presumed was him crying.

There was something in you that made you stop, something that made you want to get out of your car and run back to him. To stand him up and hold him and tell him everything was fine and you were still his but you didn’t. You couldn’t.

That didn’t mean you didn’t think of him over the next few days. Hours spent in your friend's box room as you didn’t have the heart to find your own place yet but the sound of his voice and the memory of him being so heartbroken was etched into your brain and you couldn’t seem to move on from it.

You’d never seen him so distraught before in all the time you’d known him. On his knees in front of you begging for another chance and you’d just ran away and left him sobbing on his drive after pouring his heart out to you.

You hated the way he still occupied your thoughts. Before things had gone wrong you believed he was your forever and would have done absolutely anything for him but all that had changed and right now you didn’t think you could ever fully move past this unless you sat with him and spoke to him properly. No matter how much it hurt.

Mason was absentmindedly watching whatever was on tv when his phone alerted him to someone being outside. He didn’t hear a knock or anything moving outside so he quickly opened the app to put his mind at rest when he was met with your face. Your hand rising and falling as you thought about whether or not you should press the bell but Mason wasn’t about to give you a choice and shot up from the sofa to pull the front door open

You weren't expecting him to suddenly be there, a hopeful look on his face as he tried to control his breathing and you felt your heart leap at the sight of him.

‘You’re back’ he whispered, watching you wrap your arms around yourself as you looked down at the floor and all he wanted was to wrap you up in his own arms. To kiss you and promise you he’d never hurt you again as he hated how you looked so fragile and nervous but he was taking you being as a positive sign.

‘Yeah’ you breathed, nodding lightly. ‘I was just about to knock, I um… do you think… do you think I could come in?’

‘Of course you can’ he nodded, pulling the door open wider before shutting it behind you. Watching you glance around the house you used to call a home before you stood playing with your fingers. ‘Can I get you anything? You want a drink or-‘

‘No, I think it’s best we just talk and get this over with’ you told him. walking right by him to get to the sitting room and the familiarity of the place hit you immediately. Nothing had changed, he even still had the same pictures of the pair of you in the frames by the fireplace and you felt your tummy drop at the sight of them. They felt like they were from a different life at this point and you didn’t know if you’d ever get to be like that with anyone ever again.

Mason sighed before joining you, his shoulders slumped as he thought maybe you’d come here to listen to him and let him put things right but from just that small awkward interaction he knew you were done. He was just praying to anyone and anything he could change your mind somehow.

‘I’m sorry’ he mumbled as he took a seat opposite you but you weren’t here to listen to that again.

‘I don’t want an apology Mason, you’ve said that a million times now. I want an explanation’ you told him calmly. ‘What happened?’

‘Nothing… and everything I guess’ he sighed, running his hand over his beard before scratching the back of his neck. All of his tells to let you know he was nervous. ‘Things were rough for a while, I think we both can agree on that’ he said and you nodded lightly. Things had been hard but never once had you thought about ending things with him. ‘It was just a hard year for me… and then were was Jason’

‘Jason?’ You asked, confused as to who he was talking about as the only Jason you knew was Mason's physio and he’d always been sweet to you when you’d seen him so you were confused as to why he was being bought up now.

‘Yeah, he’d been on at me for months about ending things with you’ he confessed and you felt your heart sink. ‘It's my fault, I saw him most days and we got pretty comfortable around each other so I said some things that looking back now I shouldn’t have. It was just guy talk you know? I didn’t mean anything by it at first, we were just moaning about our other halves but then he broke up with his girlfriend and he was going on about how much lighter felt now he was single and maybe I should do the same so we could be single together’

‘What?’ You breathed. Not knowing if this was a joke or not but you knew Mason and you knew he was open to everyone so it was no wonder he took advice from some he thought he could trust.

‘I know, and I know it doesn't make me sound any better. I get that. But we were arguing over stupid things and I had him in my ear constantly like I just lost it’

You didn’t know what to say. You understood a bit better now but it still didn’t make things easier.

‘But I knew it was dumb, maybe in the back of my mind that’s why I did it when I did cause you’re right. I was a coward and I wanted to run away but I knew It’s not what I wanted as soon as I got on the bloody plane to leave. I didn’t get chance to talk to you or do anything until later that night and I tried to call you but I never heard from you’

‘You didn’t even really give me a chance to fight for us. You told me what you wanted and left as quickly as you could. I didn’t exactly feel like giving you a chance to explain anything after that’ you told him quietly and he nodded knowingly. His face crumpling as he tried and failed to hold it together and you couldn’t lie and say the way he was wasn’t having an effect on you and his watery eyes were like a dagger to your heart.

‘I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve never stopped loving you’ he sobbed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eye so he could stop crying but it only made your eyes sting in return. ‘That day when I finished things, well I didn’t just hurt you. It's like I tore my own heart from my chest and I’ve never been able to numb that ache. Why do you think I lied and told everyone we were still together?’

‘Cause you’re certifiably insane’ you whispered. Your heart leaping at the way he let out a little chuckle as he wiped his eyes and when your eyes locked you felt your resolve crumble further.

‘Well yes, there’s that, but I couldn’t admit what I’d done to anyone cause I was embarrassed’ he gulped. ‘And I didn’t want to admit it to myself half the time. You’re way too good for me, I know that. Fuck everyone knows that so why would I want to tell everyone I’d thrown away the best thing to have ever happened to me. I know exactly what they’d say and how dumb I felt even just thinking it to myself so I made out you were just busy or something’ he shrugged. His confession melting your cold exterior slightly before he was scratching the back off his neck again. The cogs turning in his brain as he tried to make you believe in whatever way he could.

‘Mums been asking after you loads, I kept saying you were sick or had an appointment. She even sent me those special immunity tea bags to give you like they’re in the cupboard and everything’ he laughed and you felt your heart warm at how kind his family were. You’d missed going to visit them but didn’t want to reach out and have things be weird but now you were glad you hadn’t as clearly they were none the wiser

‘Does she know now?’ You whispered but he just shook his head awkwardly. The bridge of his nose turning a bright red out of embarrassment but your heart was hammering as you always found that to be one of his cutest tells and it was like you had to restrain yourself in your seat so you didn’t reach over to grab his face and kiss him.

‘No, she still thinks we’re together. I'd actually like to keep it that way’ he told you and even though you knew it was coming you weren’t ready to accept what he wanted to say. At least you didn’t think you were.

‘Mason-‘

‘Please’ he pleaded. His big brown eyes melting you even further and even though you promised yourself you’d be strong he was making it difficult. ‘Please, y/n. I said it the other night and I’ll say it again. I really would do anything for another chance and I’ll get down on my knees again if you want me to’ he told you and the tiny smile on your face must have given him the courage to push forward a little bit. Sliding off the sofa before getting himself settled between your thighs and resting his hands on them gingerly. You felt your heart thump as he looked up at you through his lashes and you knew you were putty in his hands at this point no matter how much you didn’t want to be.

‘I’m the biggest idiot known to mankind and I let you go when I should have held you closer. I know I can make you so happy, we were happy once were we?’

‘Yeah, we were’ you agreed quietly cause deep down you knew you really were and you knew I wouldn’t take much to get back there.

‘So we can do it again, right?’

‘I don’t know Mase’

‘Why? What’s holding you back?’ He questioned and at this point you didn’t even know. Only a few seconds away from just agreeing with anything he said as the hopeful look on his face was destroying you but you knew you had more to say.

‘Cause it hurt’ you whispered. ‘I hurt when you left me, it still hurts now’

‘It hurts because it matters’ he whispered, tucking some hair behind your ear and the gesture made you shiver. ‘And it matters because we still love each other. If you didn’t care anymore then it wouldn’t hurt’ he told you and you hated but loved the way he had you on strings. ‘Please baby, please. I can’t be without you anymore it’s killing me’ he told you, his voice wobbling as he looked down into your lap.

You couldn’t take it anymore, reaching down to cup his jaw so he’d look at you and the tears rolling down his cheeks broke your heart. You knew he was right, it hurt because you still loved him but looking at him so devastated between your legs hurt more than anything else.

All you wanted to do was make him feel better and you knew there was only one way to do it. Leaning down and pulling him up slightly so you could drop a sweat kiss to his lips and you knew he was surprised as he froze for a beat.

You both sat there for a few moments, foreheads touching with your eyes closed as it hit you what was happening but the smile on his face made you giddy so when he lent back in you let him take the lead. Kissing you gently as he gripped your thighs, almost making sure that you were actually there and he wasn’t dreaming but you were holding onto him just as tightly before pulling back to catch your breath.

‘I didn’t think I’d ever get to kiss you again’ Mason whispered but you couldn’t reply, Mason pulling you down onto the floor next to him before rolling himself half on top of you so he could kiss you again but the pair of you giggling didn’t help. ‘Is this really happening?’

‘Trust me when I say this, but I came over here with the intention of just putting things to bed and going back home’ you told him. Watching his face drop as things turned sombre. ‘But you’ve just made me realise I am home’ you told him, watching him pout slightly as he was so emotional. ‘I’ve been lost without you Masey, and yeah what you did sucked but I know you’re sorry yeah? I can see it all over your face’

‘I really am’

‘I know you are, and it’s okay. I forgive you’ you whispered and it’s like you felt his body relax under your fingertips.

‘Are you sure? I feel like I haven’t said half of what I wanted to’ he gulped, almost as if he couldn’t believe you’d forgiven him so quickly but you didn’t see the point of prolonging everything.

‘That’s okay’ you whispered. ‘You’ve said enough for me, life isn’t always about big apologies you know? I’d rather you make up for things with actions not words’

‘And I will’ he confirmed before leaning down to kiss you again. You tummy flipping at how gentle he was being with you and even before things had turned sour you couldn’t remember the last time you kissed like this. The last time he made you feel like this but you knew the feelings had never died, other stupid things had just gotten in the way.

You pulled back soon after, the pair of you just looking at each other in awe as you shared tiny kisses and soft stares before you felt his hand on your waist. You’d missed his touch and the feel of him made you wonder what else you’d missed in your months apart.

‘You won the fa cup’ you giggled, your eyes burning again as you thought back to the pictures of him looking so happy with his team mates. A nice end to a hard year he’d suffered and even though you’d been mad at him you knew how much it meant for him to win a domestic trophy and you couldn’t not be pleased for him.

‘I did yeah’ he laughed, tears springing to his eyes once more. ‘And we didn’t get to celebrate it together’

‘We’ve got time to, it’ll just be a little late that’s all’ you shrugged and he nodded down at you enthusiastically.

‘We do’ he breathed. Kissing your forehead before cradling your face so he could look at you properly. ‘And you’re going on work trips?’

‘Yeah, a week or two after I went home I got promoted’ you smiled, rolling your eyes lightly as the pair of you knew it was something you’d been working towards but in your mind it was still a little way down the line.

‘I’m so fucking proud of you’ he told you sincerely, pecking your lips quickly before looking at you again and the smile on his face melted you. ‘Looks like we’ve got a fair few things to celebrate then’

‘I think so, and you know how I like to celebrate’

‘Chocolate cake?’ He questioned, an eyebrow raised but he knew he was right. It was always your little tradition and how you celebrated the small wins.

‘Chocolate cake’ you confirmed with a smile and his bright eyes made you melt.

‘I’m gonna get you the best chocolate cake I can find, yeah. Only the best for my girl’ he smiled before his face dropped a fraction. ‘You’re still my girl aren’t you?’

‘I’m still your girl’ you told him, stroking his cheek as he looked at you softly. ‘Even though I was mad as hell I was always your girl Mase. And I always will be’

‘You and me against the world, sweetheart’

‘Of course, but I have a condition’ you told him, watching him raise his brow at you questioningly. ‘If you get upset again, please talk to me so we can work it out’

‘I will baby, I promise’ he told you sincerely and you knew he meant it. ‘I don’t ever want to be without you again, yeah? I fucking hated it’

‘Me too’ you laughed, pulling him down into a soft kiss that you couldn’t help but smile into as you felt him melt. ‘Now what’s happening with that chocolate cake’

‘Come on, we’ll get it together. Not letting you out of my sight now’ he told you, helping you up from the floor so you could make your way to the car, your heart finally home with your forever person.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed if you feel like leaving some feedback it would be much appreciated 🩷

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 76: Oliver's Rescue

Previous > Masterlist

tw: mind control, captivity, conditioning, drugging, blood ritual

October 1925

Oliver.

His master's song was muffled and far away, but still carried his name. Oliver tried to respond, but he couldn't seem to move.

Wake up.

His eyelids were like lead, his body stiff and heavy. The world tilted and dipped, and he realized that he was being carried.

Wake up, Oliver.

His master sounded scared, desperate. Why…

Oliver remembered what had happened, the fight with the vampire hunter, how he'd allow himself to be taken in the hopes that his master would be spared. The voice echoing in his head at least meant that his master was still alive, and communicating with him through the link between them that he rarely used.

If he was now in the clutches of the hunter, he definitely didn't want her to realize that he was awake. Instead, he kept his eyes shut tight and did his best to reach out to the voice in his head.

The communication wasn't in words, exactly, but in feelings and in song, and Oliver felt slow and clumsy as he tried to connect. He could feel his master's concern, and he did his best to convey that he was drugged, but unharmed.

The mental conversation was interrupted by a woman's voice. "Oh god, is that Oliver?"

"I sure hope so," said the hunter, "because it was like hell to rescue him."

"What's wrong with him? Is he okay?" The woman's voice seemed vaguely familiar, but Oliver couldn't quite place it in his foggy mind.

"I had to put him to sleep. I botched it and failed to kill his master. That means he could alert his master to the location of the safehouse if he figures out where he is -- and his master is a terrifyingly dangerous vampire. If you don't want to end up a thrall again…"

"He would do that?"

Oliver felt a pang of guilt at the sadness in the woman's voice, particularly since he had, in fact, just been communicating with his master. But he only wanted Alexander to retrieve him, not to harm anyone else, not even this hunter.

"Unfortunately, yes. Given his master's skills, it's safe to say that Oliver is a danger to everyone here. That's why I'll have to prepare to unenthrall him right away, and we'll have to make sure he can't escape or figure out where he is in the meantime."

The guilt was replaced by panic as Oliver tried to somehow relay this information to Alexander through their limited connection. Oliver wasn't sure if he understood, but he did feel a surge of anger in response, one which rippled through him as though it were his own.

"Shit, he's awake."

Oliver's eyes flew open, and he was looking into the face of the hunter who had kidnapped him, who had been carrying him princess-style through what looked like a run-down house. With his cover blown, he struggled out of the hunter's arms, only to flop ungracefully on the floor, still heavily drugged.

"Oliver!"

The face of the other woman swam into view, and he realized who the voice belonged to.

"Emily?" he croaked, his mouth parched.

"Help me restrain him," said the hunter sternly, hauling Oliver up by his armpits. "I'll need some extra time to prepare the ritual, and we have to make sure he can't escape."

"I don't want a ritual," Oliver protested weakly. "Just let me go. I don't need to be rescued."

"Get the sleeping draught from my bag and splash some under his nose. Be careful not to breathe it yourself."

"All right."

With his limbs still clumsy and slow, Oliver couldn't manage to get away from the hunter's strong arms holding him from behind. All he could do was thrash and hold his breath as Emily followed the hunter's instructions and smeared some of the potent sleeping potion under his nose. Even as he tried to hold his breath, he could still smell the sickly sweetness, his head starting to spin.

"That's good," said the hunter in his ear. "I know you don't believe me now, but I'm trying to help you."

Oliver wanted to protest further. He did know what the hunter was doing, he really did, but she just didn't understand his particular situation. He wasn't like Emily, whose master was planning to discard her the moment she was bored. Alexander needed him.

Didn't he?

But he'd thought about getting away before, hadn't he? When he first learned about Alexander's sire, and even before that, back in the auction house…

His head swirled with confusion as the sleeping concoction began to take hold once again. He found he couldn't offer any resistance as the hunter pulled him onto a chair and tied his arms and legs down, placing a blindfold around his eyes.

"I'm sorry I have to do this," she said, "but it really is for your own good. You'll see."

As Oliver's thoughts began to fade, he could hear the increasingly frantic music of his master, trying to reach him, but to no avail.

---

When Oliver was finally able to crack open his eyes again, he had no idea if he'd been out for five minutes or five hours. The ropes binding him into the chair chafed his wrists, and he felt stiff.

"Oh, are you awake? Vivian said you might wake up again before she was ready."

He managed to lift his heavy head, still disoriented. He was in the same dingy house as before, in a room that was mostly empty except for his chair and one other. Emily was sitting in an armchair reading the newspaper, looking very different than she had the last time Oliver had seen her, dressed in a plain blue shirt and khaki pants instead of a stylish dress and heels.

"Please don't put me back to sleep," he said. "I just want to talk." His master's song had faded from his head, giving him a little more space to think.

She put down the newspaper. "All right, but Vivian told me to put you back to sleep if you cause any trouble."

"Is Vivian the vampire hunter?"

"Yeah. She rescued me." Emily was staring at Oliver as though sizing him up. "She's trying to save people from vampires. I owe her everything. You remember me, don't you?"

"I do," said Oliver.

"I told her to go find you, since I felt guilty about what happened in the auction house, that I couldn't help you when you were being hypnotized. Now we're even, or we will be, I guess."

"You didn't have to do that," said Oliver. "I'm glad you got out. Your master…" He shuddered thinking of Emily with her mind gone, the way Jessica had done the same to him in only a moment. "She was awful. And she was going to throw you away. You didn't deserve that."

"I appreciated that, you know. When you tried to stand up for me in front of all the vampires. I didn't really understand what you were trying to say then, but I do now," she said. "And Vivian's going to do the same thing for you. She'll free you from enthrallment."

Oliver's gut churned. A part of him certainly felt like he should want it -- but more in the way that one feels one should want to do chores or exercise or tedious errands. He should want his mind restored, to be free of the vampires' influence…

…but it had been good for him, hadn't it? The situation forced him to admit to himself a truth he was trying to avoid -- that he had been drifting through life with no real purpose. He'd spent so many lonely, dull days in the bookstore, his only highlights a new acquisition or a particularly interesting customer. But with the vampires, he'd felt useful. Fulfilled. He'd tasted bliss, even if it was artificial…

"She doesn't need to do that," said Oliver. "I know it probably sounds crazy, but I was fine with my master. He treats me well, and I'm happy, and I really don't have anyone who's looking for me or anything that important to go back to, to be honest."

"What about your bookshop?" she demanded. "The entire time we were locked up, that's all you talked about, all the improvements you wanted to make to your bookshop. Remember?"

"Of course I do." He could never forget the bookshop, the place where he'd spent the vast majority of his life from childhood. He knew every nook and cranny so well, the smell of dust and book bindings, the way certain floorboards creaked, the uneven stairs up to his apartment, his comfortable chair piled with lumpy blankets. And he remembered being so desperate to get back there. When had he stopped thinking about his bookshop?

"Then you know you need to get back there, right?"

"Yes, I do, but…" The thought of his master's song, of the loneliness in his eyes, pulled him back. Oliver had been lonely, too. The idea of returning to his bookshop alone and resuming his former life felt strangely cold. "My master also needs me. I keep him company, and I help him get to sleep, and I…"

"Let him drink your blood."

Heat rose in Oliver's face as he thought of it, unwilling to fully admit to himself how much he would miss that particular aspect of his new life. "Yes, but -- he gives me so much in return. And it isn't so bad, really. It's -- it's pleasant, almost, in a strange way."

Emily sighed. "If you could listen to yourself… I remember you telling me how much you didn't want them to take your mind, how you hated the idea of being food for some monster, and now you're blushing and stammering just to think about it. The vampires really did do a number on you, didn't they? Not that I can talk. I had my memories completely erased, and they still aren't fully back."

"I'm sorry they did that to you," he said, and meant it. "I do know what I said then, but that was before I knew what it would be like. My master -- Alexander really has been kind to me, and I've enjoyed living with him, and not just because I was hypnotized. I mean, I was allowed to keep most of my mind…"

"Allowed to keep your mind?" she said. "Oliver, you're completely wrapped around that vampire's fingers."

"I'm not --"

"Don't you remember that I saw you at the Tiger's Eye? You were fawning all over that vampire's lap, letting him dote on you like a house cat."

Oliver was about to retort and point out that she was no different -- but that would only prove her point, considering how clearly ensorcelled she'd been. Was that how he had looked to other people? He had hardly considered it, too used to only being in the company of vampires and thralls.

Emily must be right. He really was that far under his master's spell, wasn't he? How could he ever think otherwise?

"But it's okay," she said. "Vivian has a ritual to undo most of the enthrallment. You'll be free."

"Free." It should be a joyous thing, so why did it feel like having a bucket of ice water upended over him?

Everything he had felt between his capture and now, had it all been a fabrication, a hypnotic illusion? The warm and comforting evenings, his deep satisfaction at serving his master, even those traces of affection? Was it all a lie, a soap bubble that could be so easily popped?

And the way his master wanted him and cherished him, refused to let him go, was that also just an act to keep Oliver in line?

"Hey, are you okay?" Emily asked. "I know it's a lot to think about."

Oliver nodded, trying not to cry. As much as he knew he should be grateful for the rescue, a greater part of him wished he were still back in the manor, his quiet evening uninterrupted, curled next to his master and reading to his heart's content.

Was it really so terrible, to be lost in an illusion? He'd spent his entire life with his mind three-quarters of the way in a book at all times. Was this so different?

But no matter how much he desired it, he'd never be truly safe with Alexander, not with the threat of his sire looming over them both. Freedom meant he'd never have to feel that sickening control wrap around his limbs ever again, never again blinded and degraded and forced to dance. Even as he thought it, though, he doubted it could be so easy. Could this hunter actually defy that vampire? Was a witch's ritual enough to deliver Oliver from his clutches?

The stairs creaked, and the vampire hunter entered the room. She'd divested herself of most of her kit, but that silver knife, the one she'd pressed against Oliver's neck, was still strapped to her belt. Behind her, a woman with red hair and a gray housecoat stood, looking a bit dazed.

"Oh, he's awake," said Vivian. "How are you feeling, Oliver?"

"I've had better nights," he said. He dimly remembered how he'd felt when Lily had him dragged him out of his cell, the loss of his mind inevitable. Why did he feel exactly like that now?

"You'll feel better once we've freed you from the vampire's hold on your mind," she said. "Well, you may feel worse before you feel better, but that's only because it can be hard to use your own mind again."

Oliver nodded. What else could he do? The ropes bit into his wrists.

"Emily, is it safe to untie him, or is he going to try and escape?"

Emily shook her head. "I don't think it's safe. He's very far gone."

Oliver wanted to protest, but he wasn't sure himself, torn between what he wanted and what he knew he should want.

"All right. I'll just untie him from the chair and leave the rest of his binds. Jenny, can you help?"

Vivian and the woman with her, Jenny, began to untie him from the chair, but as instructed, his wrists and ankles were still firmly bound together, preventing him from moving much. Vivian picked him up in her strong arms as though he were a sack of potatoes, and made her way back to the stairs. Oliver didn't bother to try and struggle, knowing it would be fruitless.

Emily and Jenny helped Vivian maneuver her parcel up the stairs and into the attic, and Oliver's chest tightened to see the chalk circles on the floor, stained in blood. So this was it -- and his desire to be back home with his master overtook any other sense in him. He involuntarily squirmed and thrashed, and the women nearly dropped him.

"Let me go!" he said. "I've changed my mind, I don't want this! Just let me go back!"

"Hold onto him! Get him in the circle!"

Master, he called out in his mind. Master, where are you?

He was placed in the middle of the circle, unable to stand or do anything but writhe like a pathetic worm.

"Just close your eyes and try to relax, Oliver." Vivian knelt in the circle in front of him, taking out her silver knife, and he flinched away from it. "You'll be glad that we helped you. I promise."

Master!

The connection to Alexander returned, and Oliver was overwhelmed with the feeling of despair and panic, adding to his own. He knew what his master was trying to say, that he didn't know where Oliver was, and Oliver couldn't offer any useful information. Even if he could, it'd be far too late.

Vivian sliced open her own hand and dripped her blood into the circle, chanting low. The music inside Oliver rose to a frantic crescendo. He felt something smeared on his forehead, couldn't flinch away in time.

It was too late.

The music stopped.

Previous > Masterlist

Thank you so much for reading about a man who was enthralled.

Important Note: There will be no new Bookseller chapters for the next two Sundays! I hope to occasionally post some other work you may enjoy, though. Bookseller will return in December.

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[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

Oh, you wanna play psycho killer? (Ghostface! Miguel O’Hara x Fem! Reader x Ghostface! Peter B Parker) Part 1

RAAAAA! Excited about this one! Based off this post. Inspired by this drawing from Andalusia_Lu on Tiktok. Not proofread. Tbh I’m kinda nervous about this one but…Enjoy! Also in this story MJ and Peter are just friends. This is probably the darkest think I’ve written.

(Y/N) - Your name.

NSFW!!, Cursing, use of alcohol, death, murder, yandere behavior, Reader has a bf who does die, violence, blood, said reader’s bf calls her derogatory remarks behind her back, religious imagery(I think???), stalking, male masturbation, invasion of privacy, reader being drugged, panty stealing, stalking, implied kidnapping, gore, cameras being placed in readers home without their knowledge, it’s a horror one shot so… you know what you’re walking into. Dead Dove Do not eat, MDNI!

Word count: 2.5k

Part 2

Masterlist

—

October 31st, Halloween night. Also know as the night that gives college students an excuse to get fucked up while in a shit quality costume that cost 50 bucks at spirit Halloween.

That little rule you are not exempt from, that’s how you found yourself in a random college frat party at NYU, a bottle of beer in one hand, and your boyfriend’s in the other as you drag him through the crowd so you both can dance. The alcohol in your system made your whole body relaxed and your cheeks glow with a dash of red over them, your eyes half-lidded and your smile wide as you looked up at Daniel while Promiscuous from Nelly Furtado blasted through the house. You looked like an angel straight from heaven, although that might be due to your customer, being dressed up as Juliet from the 1996 movie, while your boyfriend was clattered in armor as Romeo. The costumes being your idea after having rewatched the movie a few weeks ago.

You both had lost the rest of your group in the crowd, Jess and MJ had said they were going to the kitchen while Miguel and Peter had said they were going outside to get fresh air but you haven’t seen them since, you wouldn't have extremely worried, if it wasn’t for the reason sightings of the ghostface killer that had been popping up on the news though. Sure maybe going to a party wasn’t the best idea either but you figured you would have been fine since you were going in a group, I mean, what wouldn’t you be okay? It’s not like an actual serial killer goes after a group of young adults who are all drunk right? But now you’ve lost 4 out of 6 people in said group. But maybe in the small chance you do get targeted, you should be able to stand a chance since your Daniel was always in the gym with Miguel, so he was pretty jacked (not as jacked as Miguel though but you’ll never say that out loud).

One song turned to two then to three, just like the beers in Daniel’s hand, you had slowed down so you could at least be sober enough to order a Lyft for when the night was over. Eventually you were whisked away from your boyfriend by MJ and Jess, thankful that they were still at the party and nothing happened to them.

“Hey, have you guys seen Peter or Miguel?” You shouted over the music after a while, Jess just shrugged, before MJ answered.

“They texted me that they found Daniel and he’s like, fucked up apparently.”

—

“Please!”

Stab.

“I don’t want to die! Please stop!”

Stab.

“I’ll give anything! Just don’t kill me!”

The begs and pleads become more desperate and sloppy with every second, the words slurring more together from the alcohol and the crimson red liquid dribbling out of Daniel's mouth. The sight was almost enough to make the two men feel pity. Almost.

“Anything?” The shorter one asked with an agonizingly slow head tilt, his voice altered from the voice changer attached to the plastic mask, signaling for the other to stop plugging the knife into their victim’s stomach. Despite not liking being told what to do, he dropped Daniel on the floor with a snarl. Daniel quickly retracted into a small ball, shaking arms going to cover his bloody wound with a groan and whimper.

“We want (Y/N).” If it weren't for him being in excruciating pain and bleeding out, Daniel would have thought they were joking, but the tone in which the words were spoken made his blood that was spilling out from his stomach and mouth run cold.

“W-what?” He asked as he tried to keep his breathing from becoming shallow and his head from becoming too dizzy, but he was failing miserably.

“You heard us. We. Want. (Y/N).” The larger one spoke this time. How badly, he wanted to emphasize each word with another stab, the knife in his hands twitched a bit as he tightened his grip on the black handle. He was itching for an excuse, but he’ll refrain.

For now.

Maybe it was the way he responded to a stressful situation, or maybe it was the lack of blood finally affecting his brain, but Daniel had the nerve to laugh. Fucking laugh. The laugh was breathy, and in between coughs and groans, causing Miguel and Peter to look at their prey like he was the crazy one. Rage filled their bodies when Daniel finally composed himself enough to talk again.

“Y-you can’t be serious? …Right? You-you’re gonna kill-kill me over some bitch?”

How fucking dare he.

How dare he speak about you like you were some random skank, like you were a pile of dirt. You were a fucking goddess, Miguel and Peter knew that, because they worshipped you like one. They didn’t see what you saw in Daniel, he didn’t deserve you, no one did, except Miguel and Peter, they would treat you better than any other man that roamed this stupid planet, and especially far better then the sorry excuse of a boyfriend that they had on the ground like he was a wounded animal.

For someone who was about to die, he sure had a lot of nerve.

He didn’t love you like they did, he didn’t know your every move like they did. They were like your real life guardian angels, always following behind you to make sure no one would harm so much as a hair on your pretty little head, and how lucky were they, that you were juuust oblivious enough that you don’t notice them, just enough to brush of your rummaged trash as raccoons, just enough that you didn’t noticed when a pair or two of your dirty panties go missing, you had too many to keep track of all of them anyways. Never knowing that one of the two would sneak into your apartment while you were asleep to grab them from your hamper, no matter which boy had decided to embark on their mission, both of them had to fight against the struggle to not stay and watch you sleep, fighting the urge to release their painful hard members and stroke while watching you sleep. They’d be lying to themselves if they said they haven’t lost the battle at least once before, biting into their free hand to stop any moans from escaping and waking you up, while they fist fuck their cocks with the other, but can you blame them?

They just loved you so much and you loved them too, you just haven’t realized it yet. How could you when that pest of a boyfriend of yours was pumping your head full of false thoughts? He didn’t love you like Peter and Miguel did. Sure Daniel might seem like he loved you so much, going as far as to get you flowers and gifts from time to time, but Miguel and Peter’s gifts they would give you were so much better, because these gifts were all given to you with the same purpose. To help them watch over you, make sure you were safe, strategically planning to make sure to eventually fill your entire home with cameras right under your adorable nose. The teddy bear that sits on your bed and the light up mirror over your bathroom sink were first of course.

Peter couldn’t help himself, with all of his force, he kicked Daniel right in the balls, causing him to curl up more in pain. Miguel was going to do the same when his phone pinged in his pocket, he quickly took it out and checked it, your name filling his screen made his heart skip a beat.

“It’s (Y/N). She’s asking where we are, and wants us to meet her at her apartment after she drops off Jess and MJ in 15 minutes.” Miguel mumbled as he looked down at his phone, before looking up at Peter then down at their prey on the ground. “She probably thinks we’re still with him, what should we do with him?”

Peter’s eyes followed Miguel’s gaze down to the half- conscious Daniel, silent as if thinking about what to say, or more likely what to do with him.

“We could leave him here for dead?” Peter suggested, but Miguel shook his head at the thought, too risky, they couldn’t have the chance of him being found by someone and taken to the hospital, that could ruin everything.

“You both… ar-are fucking psychotic! Killing me over some-some bitch who doesn’t eve-even give good fucking… fucking head!” Daniel yelled between coughs, more blood falling from his blue-turning lips, he looked like he had seen a ghost due to how pale he was becoming from the blood lost, and now he’s gonna become one. Miguel’s phone buzzed again, this time you only sent a single question mark, looking down at his phone.

“I want you to know that if I wasn’t about to be late to see you, I would beat this guy bloody, for the way he talks about you.” Miguel said out loud as if you could actually hear him, as if you were actually here to hear how true those words were, but instead Miguel raised his knife with one hand and grabbed Daniel’s hair with the other. Enjoying the way the Dani’s eyes widened in fear, his weak arms flailed around as he tried to fight the larger man off of him, but it was no use. “Guess I’ll just have to cut straight to the point.” He said, the smirk evident threw his altered voice before putting his knife against Daniel’s throat and slashing it open. Watching whatever life that was left in him drain from his eyes.

Peter being the skilled photographer he was, took a selfie of the two with their slayed animal, now it’s time to go claim their trophy.

—

Something was off.

Like seriously off, ever since Peter and Miguel disappeared at the party neither of them had answered their phone, and as soon Dani disappeared neither had he. Maybe the party wasn’t the best idea in retrospect, you let out a sigh as you entered your apartment, and collapsed on your couch, wanting to try and calm your racing thoughts a bit before you changed out of your costume. Closing your eyes, and taking in a deep breath.

Your phone started to ring.

Usually, you didn’t answer calls from people who weren’t already in your contacts, so the “blocked number” would normally set off red flags, but maybe the alcohol was still making your brain foggy, because without thinking you answer the call and put your phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

No answer.

You left out a huff and tried again.

“Hellooo?”

When you didn’t get an answer again you rolled your eyes.

“I think you got the wrong numb-“

“Wanna play a game?”

“I’m-I’m sorry?”

“I said, wanna play a game?”

“Um no thanks. I'm hanging up now.”

“Hang up and you won’t get to see your special surprise though.” Oddly enough, you grew a bit curious.

“Wha..what do I have to do?” You asked.

“It’s simple, We’re gonna play a small game of hot and cold.” You had a feeling this wasn’t a good idea, maybe you shouldn’t answer the call. “Right now you’re cold.”

Without another word, you slowly got up, and made your way down the hall, your floorboard creaking underneath your heels.

“Warmer.”

Your heart begins to beat in your ears, you bring a shaky hand up to the doorknob of your bathroom, you go to open the door when the voice from the other end of the phone spoke again.

“Colder.”

You quickly bring your hand back down to your side and let your heavy footsteps make your way into your bedroom.

“Hotter.”

You swallowed the thick lump of saliva down your throat as you made your way to the left side room, your eyes dead set on your closet.

“Hotter.”

You closed the gap between you and the closet, and brought your hand to the handle, mentally preparing yourself for whatever hides before the wooden doors.

“You're on fucking fire baby.”

Your hand drew back the door, the sight made you let out a blood curdling scream, almost dropping your phone in the process. Your Daniel, dead, sitting on the closet floor, gutted out like a fish. The voice on the other end of the phone let out a sly chuckle before speaking once again.

“Sorry about your boyfriend, guess all those muscles didn’t help much.” He mocked before the call went dead, and you finally released your phone, it falling to the floor, as your body began to shake and your breathing became rapid.

You let out a sob and began to stumble away from the mangled corpse that you once called your boyfriend, only for your back to meet with a what felt like a wall of muscle, you quickly look up over your shoulder, being met with the infamous ghostface mask that has been plastered all over the news.

“What’s the matter (Y/N)? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” The altered voice taunted. No, no, no,no. This cannot be happening. You shook your head as another sob left your lips stumbling away from the masked killer and into the hallway, expecting him to follow after you, but instead he just watched you. If you were thinking straight. You’d probably realized that this was a trap, but you weren’t thinking straight, as you finally reached the front door, you went to unlock the door and leave your apartment, but before you even stepped foot out of the door a large hand came and grabbed you around your waist. You take in a deep breath and open your mouth to scream, but instead a white cloth came and covered your nose and mouth, the strong smell of chemicals quickly filling your lungs.

“Surprised (Y/N).” This voice was a bit deeper, then the one from your bedroom, your head became dizzy as you eyes fluttered, your vision was beginning to blacken, before you were fully go under, you saw the man holding you still was a lot larger than the other one, it clicked, there were two of them.

You black out.

—

“She out?” Peter asked Miguel as he slipped off his mask, Miguel following suit.

“Like a light.” Miguel smirks as he goes to pick you up bridal style, your body limply laying in his arms. The two couldn’t help but smile as they watched your sleeping form, so peaceful looking, like an Angel. Their angel. Their plan played out just as they wanted, you were theirs now, and theirs alone. No one could come in the way of you three anymore, all they had to do now was make sure you wouldn’t leave them. But how would you do that if you didn’t know where you were? You couldn’t. That’s why Miguel gently placed you in the backseat of Peter’s car, before getting into the passenger’s seat. They were going to make sure you were far, far away from your old life, so you could start your new one with your lovesick killers.

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Hi! Could you possibly write a Regina x Reader fic where reader is the one to see the bus accident and help until the ambulance comes? Regina and reader have done some class projects in the past and finds out how much reader is struggling after seeing Regina hit by the bus

Even When you Cry you're Beautiful

|| Regina George x fem!reader

|| Warnings; pain meds/medication mentions, injured Regina, emotional reader near the end, swearing, Regina hit by a bus scene, hospital mentions, high mention

|| Summary; reader takes care of Regina through it all and Regina finally admits how she feels.

Requests open!

Started; october 9th

Finished; october 10th

~~~

Oh God. You stood there, frozen in place for you don't even know exactly how long. You could not believe what had just happened. It had already been intense watching Cady and Regina argue, but to then see her be hit by the bus? You felt like your life flashed before you and you weren't even the one the got hit.

You'd considered Regina one of your friends; you weren't a plastic by any means but you had always been there to help her out. Even having done a few class projects with her. Well- more like you did the work and she just sat there and looked pretty.

You weren't ready to see her get hid by a bus. So you were floored. It took you longer than it should have for you to get yourself together and run over. You should have acted faster," oh my God, Regina!!" You yelled. Coming to a stop next to her, she was completely unconscious and looked almost unrecognizable. People were freaking out, Janis and Cady had run over and stood next to you. Looking at Regina.

"I'm gonna be sick." Cady muttered the same time Janis said,

"Jesus fuck. She's looked better."

You shot a glare at Janis and immediately dialled 911," hang in there, Regina." You whispered. You explained what had happened to the lady on the other end of the call and she sent over an ambulance.

When the ambulance arrived, you managed to convince them to let you to ride and the back. Wanting to be there for Regina and make sure she would be okay, you doubted she would wake up. But if the off chance she did when you were there, well- you figured it might be nice for her to have someone by her side.

You stayed with her for as long as you could, your parents picked you up when visiting hours were over.

By the time Regina was awake, the hospital gave you a call. Since you had asked Regina's nurse if they could reach out to you, explaining that you were a close friend (even though you knew you weren't super close). You still wanted to have updates on how she was doing regardless.

After convincing your parents to take you, you got to the hospital and rushed to Regina's room. Practically bursting the door open and smiling when you saw the blonde, she looked better. Despite the neck collar," Regina!"

"Huh?" She glanced at you, a little confused when she saw you and the pain meds weren't helping at all." Y/N?"

"Hi, Regina." Your voice was soft as you walked over and sat by her side, taking in the familiar setting of the hospital room. Only this time there were more flowers and gifts by her beside and windowsill; you felt bad not bringing anything, but you just desperately wanted to see her.

"Why you here?" She wasn't completely coherent but it's not like she was impossible to understand either. You gave her a gentle smile.

"Wanted to check on you, see how you're doing. Pain meds hitting you hard?" You asked.

She gave you a dopey grin as she leaned a little closer, not able to bend much though with the brace." I'm soooooo high!" She whispered as she giggled.

You bursted out laughing, having not expected her to respond like that. In a way it was like she was just really high," I can see that."

She seemed to just stare at you for a long moment, thinking about something and with the meds she had it made it even harder to read her. Normally you could kind of tell.

"You are like... pretty," Regina said. Catching you entirely off guard. Did she really just say that? You chose not to believe it.

"I'm sure that's just the meds, Regina." You gave her hand a gentle pat and she shook her head. Well, as best as she could before wincing. Her wince made you grimace.

"No, I'm so serious. Always thought it," That made your eyes widen. Had she really always thought that? You fidgeted with her fingers, not wanting to think too much on it on the high chance it was just her pain meds. Little to your knowledge, they were making her incredibly truthful and she meant every word she'd told you.

Throughout the next week, you continued helping Regina. Doing whatever she needed. When she was finally okay enough to be home and off the meds, you were still there for her. Knowing she couldn't do a whole lot with her corrective neck collar still on.

"Hey, Y/N?" She said to you as you walked over with a cup of water for her.

"Yes, Gina?" You replied. The two of you had gotten even closer since you'd been helping her a lot. She actually genuinely liked you, too.

"Why haven't you left?"

The question caught you off guard; 'left'? You didn't quite understand what she meant by that. You sat on the edge of her bed, fixing her blanket for her so it was back over her chest before looking in her eyes. "Left?" You questioned.

"I'm a bitch. And you're definitely not my servant. You don't have to be here." She elaborated.

"Maybe not, but I want to be. You can be a pretty cool person and you've never really been bitchy to me." You paused and sighed, your own question on the tip of your tongue. Part of you was scared to ask, Regina could be unpredictable." Hey... when you were under pain meds-"

"Oh no." She cringed, she didn't know what you were going to say but she was almost sure she didn't want to know. Regina's sure she said a lot of questionable things and was worried about any secrets she may have revealed.

"It's not bad- at least, I don't think it is. But you called me pretty? And said you always thought it?"

"Well..." Regina trailed off, almost hesitant to admit this. But why was she hesitating? She gets what she wants and there was no way you didn't want her. No, that's not... she sighed. She needs to change. She nearly just lost everything, but still. She might as well admit it, not like she had much more to lose right now." Yeah. I have."

You were floored. She really meant it? You had chalked up all the times she'd flirted while you on the medication as just that. The medication. Apparently, there'd been some truth behind it all. You swallowed, but a smile crept on your lips and you felt a sense of relief so strong that you almost cried. Normally you weren't this emotional, but you'd been trying to hold in all your emotions over the situation. It was weighing on you way more than you let on and your mind could only handle so much weight. You took her hand in hers and she seemed to be concerned.

"Why are you crying?" She asked, her tone was the softest you'd ever heard it. Almost like she was trying to make an effort in changing.

"I'm just- relieved. I guess and I've been trying to keep all my emotions in and I just- can't anymore." You rambled out, your free hand moving as you spoke. Regina frowned and carefully moved her hand to your cheek, wiping away the tears.

"Even when you cry you're beautiful." She murmured. This was not the same person before the bus accident and that was becoming beyond obvious. Little did you know, it wasn't just the incident that made her want to change but you had too. She wanted to be better if it meant she got a shot with you.

You tried saying something but no words seemed to come out and you just cried. Regina hadn't realized just how much all this really effected you, she made a mental note to make it up to you when both of you were in better head spaces.

[forthelostones]

☠︎ female reader x ghostface!abby ☠︎ (part one!)

synopsis: abby finds you trying on your halloween costume and wants a private show.

warnings. 18+ (mdni); perv!abby, sub!reader x dom!abby, teasing, kn!fe play, fingering, grinding, guided masturbation, strap receiving/sucking, mirror play, squ!rting, and spanking.

an: its fall-time and i am excited for halloween so lets goooo. also, anyone else love ghostface, just me okay.

wc: 1.1k

PART TWO

It was October 30th and you were still figuring out what you should wear to the costume competition tomorrow. This was different for you, you had actually decided to show your body more, shorter skirt, tighter bra, darker makeup, the works. You had been in your room posing in the mirror adjusting your fairy costume. You open your camera and snap a few pics, bending over, showing your thong, and seeing what the view would possibly be. 

A text from an unknown number comes up on your screen. 

I like your top. 

You noticed the photo attached is a view of your ass peaking out the skirt.

You peer over your shoulder, out your bedroom window, startled by the text. You sit on the edge of your bed, taken aback by the timing of the random message. 

Wrong number, you reply. 

Green corset? 

Your heart drops as you move to walk to close your blinds. 

I can still see you baby. 

You notice your closet door opened slightly, which was normal, right? You had been rummaging through your clothes all night, making up safer outfits. But that was earlier, you hadn’t been in your room since then. You feel a beat in your lower stomach as you realize you may not be alone. 

You hear the floorboards creak as you accept that you’ve become helpless. In the mirror you see the white and black mask creep from the closet, startling you with a knife in their dominant hand. It shimmered under the dim light of the candles coasted across your room. 

“That’s pretty.” They said.

You couldn't help but notice the strong physique of the masked killer. Rock-like biceps stretching out a black t-shirt, defined calves forced into black jeans, and most importantly large, bruised hands.

They circle over to you and flaunt their knife in your face. Although the threat of death was prevalent, you squeezed your thighs together at the sight of their veiny hands wrapped around the grip. Your clit grew as the knife came close into view. 

“You like this?” You say calmly. 

They nod, lifting their mask to show you their wet lips, then planting a kiss on yours. You noticed the deep jawline and blonde hair peeking from under the mask. She gets on the bed behind you swiftly, then drags the knife slowly up the innermost sensitive part of your arm. You tingled with frightened desire. 

“Take it off.” She demanded. 

“This?” 

You reached for the back of the corset top, unstringing each lace delicately. You hear her panting irregularly at the simple sight of your back. You move slowly which makes her panting deeper, impatient, and sultry. The bedazzled top dropped to the floor and she automatically dropped the knife to pull you onto her lap. She places her thigh in between yours and finds your sweetness, you sigh at the relief of finally having someone other than yourself touching your clit. She brings her hands up to your breasts. As she palms your nipples in the mirror and tugs them roughly between her fingertips, you groan in pain. 

“Shut up.” 

You bite your lip to stifle the pain you feel. She pulls them further than you could imagine, which makes you buzz as you grind up and down her thigh desperately. She dips her fingertips into your throat, gagging you more than you’d like to admit, leaving spit dripping down your chin. She brought her wet fingers to your erect nipples and rubbed in circles quite gently. You toss your head back onto her chest as she flicks them with her fingertips. She pushes you off her chest, onto the ground, with your ass exposed in your short skirt. 

“You were gonna wear this out?” She asked laying a hard smack across your ass. 

You wince and nod slowly as she trailed her knife against your spine. You gasped as you felt a slight pinch, wondering if she was drawing blood. She reaches towards your white thong and snaps it into two with the end of the knife. She pinches the back of your neck with her hand and draws your head back. 

“I don’t know why you thought that was a good idea. What pervs are you trying to attract?” 

“The ones like you.” You reply. 

She tosses you back on all fours at your snarky comment.

She picks up your mangled panties and goes sit at the head of your bed. She crosses her legs with her heavy boots shaking dirt all over your clean duvet. You don’t dare react, you stay still in the position you left her until you notice she’s waiting for something. You peer at her in the mirror, tussling your soaked panties in her hand. You sit in front of your mirror with her sight still trapped heavily over you. You spread your legs wide open and perk your breasts up, waiting for her commands. 

“Go ‘head, suck those fingers.” She demands. 

You bring your fingertips into your mouth with no hesitation and slide your tongue in between the two, the view alone makes her spread her own legs. You push your pussy downwards on the floor, attempting to reach some connection with your clit. You grind harder as you gag on your fingertips, eyes watering, face blushing, and spit coasting your bottom lip. 

“Touch those nipples for me,” she demands.

You pull your fingers out of your mouth and to your left nipple, which was pulsing already, you circled your areola and pulled on your peak, which made a moan slip out of your mouth. You move to your right, the most sensitive one, and flick it just the way you liked it when you were alone. Her hand unbuckles her black pants to reveal a dark purple strap. Her thick hands ran up the length of it, and you breathed deeply wanting to feel it inside you. 

“Oh, you see something you want?” She said mischievously. 

You couldn’t even speak so you just nodded. 

“Then show me how you want me to fuck you.” 

You didn’t hesitate to send two fingers inside your wet hole, they slid right in with no friction. You curled them inside, pounding your pussy, placing your palm against your clit. You grind and massage your clit at the same time, causing you to sweat ferociously imagining her six-inch strap inside you. 

“What should I call you baby?” You groan.

“Abby.”  She couldn’t resist at revealing herself, to know that she’s taking you over the edge.  

“Abby? You like how I’m fucking myself for you?” 

“I do.” Her hands reach under her shirt, feeling for her nipples. 

You continue to make eye contact with her, wherever her eyes had been behind that mask, and spurt out wetness onto the mirror. She couldn’t help but keep her eyes on your fingers hugging your pussy so generously. Before you come over the edge you turn towards the edge of the bed and sit upright. You bounce on your two fingers, like you were taking her strap, and making your ass jump for her. She muttered something under her breath but you couldn’t quite make out what she said as you went dumb for her. She crawled towards the edge of the bed and stuck the strap in your mouth. The warmth coaxed your tongue as she pushed the back of your head deeper into her core. You look up with your wet eyes to see her watching your ass shake in the mirror. She moaned as the friction of the strap pressed against her perky clit. 

You so badly wanted to kiss her after she removed her strap from your cheeks. You look up to her with desperation, ready to be fucked. 

[malakaie]

had some feelings to write out – for/about @tommyend, no pressure at all to respond

I started watching wrestling – specifically, AEW – in late October 2023. It’s been just over a year since I started watching, and I didn’t expect it to consume as much of my brain-space as it has. When I started watching, I didn’t really know who anyone was. I had heard a few names – Randy Orton, CM Punk, Jade Cargill, Roman Reigns – but had no real concept of the landscape I was entering or what it would mean to get invested.

Truthfully, it was a little overwhelming, and there was more I didn’t understand than I did. In those first few weeks, I received one very helpful piece of advice: don’t try to understand everything. Find a wrestler or two whose vibe you like and stick with them – the rest will click into place eventually, or it won’t, and either way is fine.

And so I did. I think it was around the lead-up to Full Gear 2023 that I started really paying attention. There was something about what House of Black was doing that was different from anything else I was seeing. I could understand just enough to recognise talented athletes when I saw them, but I wasn’t quite plugged in enough to the overall wrestling “ecosystem” that that was enough on its own to get my attention. Now that I understand more of what I’m looking at, it’s easier to understand what I’m meant to be impressed by – it’s easier now to have that moment of, holy shit, how did they do that?

But I didn’t understand yet. I’d been watching wrestling for about a month and was still finding my footing. What I saw, and latched onto, in House of Black was a group of four impressive performers that I could tell were in love with the art of what they were doing. Everything was done with intent – the way they entered the ring, the different but cohesive styles with which each member of the House wrestled, the gear they wore, the ever-evolving paint on Malakai’s face, the evolution and growth of Julia’s character.

It was both the moment that I finally, properly understood that professional wrestling was also theatre—and, I think, the moment that I was magnetised. It felt like a faction that was made for me: a band of storytellers who wanted to take my hand and show me what wrestling could be and was and is, and had the creativity and cohesiveness and physical talent to pull it off.

I could breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn’t lost anymore, desperately trying to catch up to understanding something that everyone around me already seemed to know. I had a guide of some sort, and one that resonated: I’ve been reading since I was 3, writing stories since I was 11, have always been a little “strange,” drawn to creative types and niche hobbies and other people that don’t have many friends. And here was someone who not only felt like me, sounded like me, but was wanted and loved and succeeding. A stranger to me, in the way that performers and public figures always are, but I felt like it was going to be okay. If Malakai could make it—though I didn’t and don’t know him personally, I had no way of knowing if he was ever afraid, or if he doubted himself—then maybe I could, too.

The more I watched and the more I learned, the more true that became. I’ve been depressed and anxious most of my adult life. I have scoliosis that is likely to get worse as I get older, and causes me pain multiple times a week, if not every day. Hearing someone whose work I admired be open about his mental health—especially when sports industries have typically not been kind to people, perhaps especially men, who are vulnerable in that way—and be honest when he’s in pain shook something loose in me that I hadn’t quite realised was stuck and frozen in shame. It’s okay that I’m afraid. It’s okay that I have days where my brain is trying to consume itself. It’s okay that I’m in pain. Did I get out of bed today? Have I been outside? Have I eaten? Have I done something to be kind to myself—or, failing that, kind to someone else? Have I done something creative today?

I started my “gender journey,” for lack of a better phrase, in 2018. There was a lot, a lot, of messing around with pronouns, labels. I didn’t know what I was, only that “just a girl” didn’t feel quite right anymore. And then I felt like I was lying, because, well—I was fine being a girl when I was ten, and thirteen, and sixteen, so why was it suddenly different at 25? Sometimes I still feel like I’m lying. The generation above me often still holds an image of trans people that requires them to have always been miserable, always been “pretending.” A few months ago my mother suggested it was fine if my idea of being feminine had expanded, but she didn’t really believe I was trans, because I’d never been unhappy as a girl child, and besides that I looked like a “clone” of the small handful of other transmasc and nonbinary people she’s met. I must be a pod person. (Newsflash, mom: This is just what queer people look like, a lot of the time. I cut and dyed my hair and got one singular tattoo. How terrible.)

She didn’t ask me how I feel when people call me she, or her—it makes me feel horribly small and unreal, by now—and in fairness to her, I didn’t quite defend myself either. I cringed and shrunk and asked for time to think about it, when what I wanted to say is yes, I know I haven’t had the history you expect to see from me, but this is who I am, and I’m not telling you that I was never a girl. I’m telling you that girl isn’t the place where I stop.

But I was scared, and I felt cornered, and I didn’t say any of that.

What I did have, though, was an artist and a performer and a storyteller who did things with his expression, his clothing, how he presented himself to the world that was like a lightbulb going on. The confidence of a man who told stories with the way that he looked, and who used feminine symbols to do it. He wasn’t any less masculine—but it was an embracing of both that cemented who he was, and I thought: holy shit. I can do that. Our identities are not the same, and I’m not too keen on speculating about the identities of public figures that I don’t know in any event—but it’s reassuring, motivating even, to be able to regularly see someone comfortably expressing his gender (because, yes, cis presentation is gender expression too) in a way that makes sense to him and incorporates the feminine and resonates through his art without doubt or reservation or compromise. This is who we are. Take it or leave it.

I don’t know what’s coming next for any of us. AEW looks like such a different place—in a good way—from when I started watching, and the world is looking pretty scary these days, but I’m still here. The art that got me interested in wrestling in the first place is still here, and I have my theories—unsubstantiated, so far—about where Malakai and House of Black are taking their story, but regardless of theories I’ve been so fortunate to watch them continue to grow and evolve over the past year. There’s a lot I don’t know, but I know the love for the story and the art is real.

I don’t know you personally, Malakai, and I don’t want to claim to, no matter how many scraps I’ve gathered together from interviews and how much of the backlog of matches I’ve done my best to watch so I can understand where you’ve come from and where you’re going next. But your work and your love for your craft has moved me, and I’m glad I stayed alive when it was hard so I could be around to see it when it mattered.

[pupwashing]

The Cuck Curse

leon kennedy x fem!reader x zombie!carlos oliveira

tags: dubcon, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie, cucking

wc: 1.7k

a/n: part one of my planned October mini series.. whats scarier than getting cucked by various creatures? comments, rbs, and general feedback is appreciated!

Leon’s not one to believe in superstitions, but he is one to whine when things don’t go his way.

Throwing around the word ‘curse’ makes him seem like a baby, and Leon Kennedy is no baby.

Leon Kennedy is a stud, and that fact makes him feel entitled to things he has no business being entitled to, like women.

Leon and women don’t mix well, despite the fact that he’s cute enough to eat. He’s heard those words since birth, from his peers at the playground and the grandmothers at grocery stores.

So naturally, he’s got an ego around his appearance. That same ego makes him unappealing to the vast dating pool.

Leon swore he wouldn’t die a virgin, and he meant every word of that swear, so when Raccoon City descended into zombie-fueled chaos, his only thought was surviving long enough so he’d get to have sex with somebody, anybody.

That’s where you come in.

You’re a rookie police officer, just like Leon. You’re also having a shitty first day. You two have enough in common that you’re traveling together, and he’s convinced that once you find a safe enough spot, you’ll let him hit.

He’s seen the way you look at him. You think he’s attractive, and he’s a stranger to you, so you don’t know about his arrogance or his general asshole-ery. It’s like he’s finally found favor from God.

But to fuck, you two have to find somewhere safe to camp out, and this police station has fallen into complete and utter ruin.

Many of the rooms were either filled with corpses of the dead or just too torn up to safety stay in, and Leon was starting to get irritated. There’s always something getting in the way of him getting laid, and it’s currently the zombie apocalypse.

Exploring the station, you two finally come upon the S.T.A.R.S. office. It isn’t filled with the undead, thankfully, so it’s suitable to serve as a place of rest. You both have been running around the station all night, and it’s surprisingly hard to outrun a hoard of hungry zombies.

As you focus on boarding up the office, Leon is shamelessly checking you out.

Women in uniform are one of Leon’s many weaknesses, and he’s already pent up because he skipped out on jacking off last night. He’s coming to regret that decision now.

“You’re pretty strong.” Leon comments, pressing his front to your back as you finish boarding up the door.

He was going to add ‘for a girl’ to the comment, but he decided to hold his tongue. He figured giving you a backhand compliment wouldn’t make you want to have sex with him.

“Thank you, you’re uh, you’re pretty strong too.” You replied, shivering from his close proximity.

Leon wasn’t exactly doing much of the heavy lifting at all.

In fact, he was barely doing any lifting. Too distracted by his own goal of having sex, he’s been leaving you to fend for your own against the zombies. He hasn’t fired a single bullet all night, and it’s making you wonder why he even has a gun in the first place.

“You know,” He began, his plushy pink lips brushing against your ear.

“I think we deserve to unwind a little. We’ve been running for our lives all night, and we seem to be holed up in here pretty safely. What do you say?”

His voice was husky with a hint of a whine to it, as if he’d cry if you denied him what he so desperately wanted.

Leon is cute, and you haven’t gotten laid in a couple days. You’re pretty sure that your ex-fuck buddy became part of the undead, so you don’t have anyone waiting up for you either.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” You murmured as you turned to face him. His eyes darkened, a smirk on his lips. Finally, Leon Kennedy would get to fuck as he so rightfully deserved.

Leon gripped your hips tightly as he leaned in, letting his lips connect with yours. He knew you guys weren’t exactly in the safest place to try and take it slow, but sucking face with a girl that wants to fuck him is important in his eyes.

You could tell he seldomly kissed anyone, because it was incredibly sloppy. He didn’t know what to do with his tongue, his teeth clashed against yours, and he was drooling in your mouth.

You pushed his chest with a polite smile. “Maybe we should skip the kissing, yeah? Don’t want to run out of time.” You suggested, and Leon nodded along.

He lowered his head to your neck, licking and nipping at your skin. At least he knows how to do hickeys correctly.

You tilted your head back to give him more access, moaning softly at the feeling. His lips sucked greedy marks onto the sensitive flesh of your neck, and it seemed like he wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon.

The two of you were so into the steamy scene that you didn’t realize the heavy footsteps of something approaching the office. The creature’s heavy breaths could be heard outside the door, but neither of you realized until it was too late.

The door to the S.T.A.R.S. office was ripped open, those boards you took time to place doing nothing to stop the raw strength of a rogue zombie.

Leon pulls away from you, shock etched on his features. This zombie isn’t like the others. It’s someone who’s been freshly turned, and whoever was turned must’ve been huge.

The zombie stared at you and Leon, but did it did not charge, instead, it approached slowly.

You were shocked, frozen with fear. It was obvious regular bullets wouldn’t take this thing down, but you were wondering if you would even need them. It wasn’t hostile, but that raised more questions than answers. If it didn’t want brains, what was it after?

The zombie stopped in front of you, looking down at your form as if it were sizing you up.

You stared back at it, noticing a patch on the tactical vest it wore. It has writing on it, so you tried reading it.

“C. Oliveira?” You mused aloud, which got the attention of the zombie. It groaned, reaching to grab you. It’s hands were clammy and cold, and it made you yelp.

“Let go of me!” You demanded, and Leon stepped into action. He tried to rush the zombie, but it flung him into the wall, which knocked the wind out of him. He could only watch what the zombie planned on doing to you.

You were frightened by its immense strength. If it could knock Leon into a wall, what else could it do? Your mind raced with frantic questions of the capability of the monster, as well as it planned on doing.

The question of its intentions was swiftly answered when it ripped your uniform to shreds, exposing your underwear.

“Hey! What was that for?” You exclaimed, but the zombie didn’t answer. It pinned you to the wall, keeping you firmly in place as its hand when down its pants.

Suddenly, everything was crystal clear. This zombie was horny and had found its target to relieve itself with. You.

You weren’t a fan of being a fuckdoll for an undead hunk, but you also weren’t a fan of having broken bones, so you didn’t move.

You gulped when you saw the zombie take out its dick. Its somehow all in tact, and it’s grossly huge.

Before you could even blink, the zombie pulled your panties to the side, slamming into you seconds after. Your eyes rolled to the back of their sockets when it did so.

You had no time to adjust before the zombie began to thrust, its hips snapping like there was no tomorrow. You couldn’t help but moan. As ruthless as it was, it felt good.

Leon was watching all of this, and he was pissed. He was about to get laid, just for this zombie to barge in and take his fuck?

Leon knew about cucking, and cucking is for losers who are unattractive and can’t fuck, so they watch other people do it for them. That’s not who Leon is.

Leon Kennedy is not a cuck.

It’s painful to listen to you moan as the zombie fucks into you, its dick stretching your gummy walls and bullying your cervix. He’s surprised that you can take dick so well, and it fills him with a terrible jealousy.

It pisses him off, how he has to listen to the squelch of your pussy, or the deep grunts from the zombie as it brutally splits you open.

You thought it would hurt, having some brute of a zombie ram its way deep into your guts, but the feeling of pleasure trumps the feeling of any type of pain.

The zombie’s grunts and huffs quicken as its thrusts do the same. It’s heavy balls slap against your clit, making your knees even weaker. You’re closing in on an orgasm, and so is the zombie.

More hard thrusts make you cum with a cry, causing you to cream around the zombie’s cock and slick to drip down your thighs.

The zombie groans lowly as it cums deep inside of you, pumping its thick and sticky seed into you. Once its dick is flaccid again, the zombie pulls out, letting you collapse onto the floor as it exits the office.

Leon can’t believe his eyes, seeing you sweaty and naked on the ground, a pool of cum dripping out of you that isn’t his own. It makes his blood boil.

Seeing the zombie leave, Leon steps up, finding some paper towels to clean you up with. You looked a mess, and the only reason he cared was because it wasn’t of his doing. If you looked like this after he fucked you, he would’ve been proud.

After you were clean and calm, Leon decided it would be best if the two of you tried to escape the station instead of camping out.

It was obvious seeing you get fucked in front of him by a damned zombie was pissing him off.

You both decided to never talk about that incident ever, to anyone. It was embarrassing for the two of you, and it would be awkward to explain that you got fucked by a zombie so hard you came.

At least something like this would never happen again, right?

[endlessmuse]

after all this time

‘I didn’t,’ he trailed ‘I didn’t think you’d call me back.’

There was a long pause, one filled with tension and unsaid words and memories and love, and sadness. Jude’s eyes met yours, then quickly averted, almost as if it never happened. What should you say? I’d always call you back? No, too desperate. I missed you? Too vulnerable.

‘I wasn’t planning on it.’ you finally settled, your defensive nature creeping out in full force. You fiddled with the bottom edge of your top, nerves seeping out from every pore of your body. It was pathetic, really – it had been a whole year.

His breathing was uneven, reaching your ears in shaky little huffs and puffs – so unlike the Jude everyone sees. The confident, cocky, charming Jude was left at the door. Inside your apartment was the Jude you were well acquainted with: the one that sat next to you in history class, that tugged on the back of your hair in school assembly, that asked you out on your first date. The one that cried as you broke up last October.

‘Right. I’m sorry. Had everything planned out, and like, I weren’t expecting you’d invite me round. And I have so much to say, so much I’ve wanted to say. I just – I don’t know where to start.’

This was new. Over the five years you’d been together you’d seen him in many situations. But this – nervous, rambling, on edge – this was new. It was making you even more nervous. He was always the calming presence you needed, but with him like this, you felt like a child again, anxious, afraid of everything and anything. It wasn’t meant to be like this.

‘I figured it would be easier if we spoke in person.’ You told him. You wondered if that was actually true, or if you just wanted to see him again, in your space again. You suppose you’ve told yourself that lie so many times – that you didn’t care for seeing him – that you almost believed yourself. Almost. He gave a hum of acknowledgment, perhaps waiting for you to elaborate, but you didn’t know how.

The silence was deafening and you couldn’t bare it anymore. Abruptly standing, you reach for the door to the kitchen. ‘I- I need a drink. You want anything?’ You ask him. You cringe at the words stumbling and stuttering out of your mouth. You hear your words dripping with nerves, and you knew he saw right through you. How you were just avoiding the conversation.

‘Yeah, um, water’s fine. Please. Thanks.’ He tells you. As you leave the living room, you hear Jude release a deep sigh, one which had clearly been weighing him down for a while.

God what was wrong with you. It’s Jude. You know him. He knows you. Get it together. You weren’t sure why he wanted to talk. The pair of you had been together since you were both 15, both practically joined at the hip. You’d grown used to often being long distance, creating schedules of visits, FaceTime date nights, and when he left for Dortmund, you even found yourself an internship there for a year. But Madrid changed everything.

You always knew how intense his schedule was, but this was a new calibre of busy. And with you graduating with your PhD at just 20, one of the youngest in your field, you were thrown into a completely new life. Albeit the life you always wanted.

You both tried. You’d both visit every other week, he’d come to you, you’d go to him. whatever worked. Until it didn’t. And sometimes hours would turn into days, and the days would turn to nights, and the next thing you knew you hadn’t really spoken to him in a week. You both saw it coming. 4 months into his move to Madrid, the relationship you once had was no longer there. But you didn’t know what more there was to say.

You reach for a glass in the cupboard, a cheap attempt at distracting yourself from the bitter memory of the last time he was in your home. He’d held you as you cried into his chest, his own tears dampening the top of your head.

You almost pour orange juice in the glass, eyes glancing to the cupboard with the bottle of tequila stored next to the Weetabix and granola. You settle on the orange juice. You’d been in here too long, and he knew it too.

‘She’s finally back,’ the familiar tone returning. ‘Thought you got lost.’

You rolled your eyes. ‘Glad you haven’t lost that sense of humour.’ You smiled for the first time that evening. It felt good. Too good. You hated how he made you feel like that 15-year-old girl again, how no one else could ever come close to making you feel like that. You guys broke up, mutually, but it still hurt. You never really moved on. How could you? You’d just shoved thoughts of him somewhere deep inside, only for late nights with too much wine or bad days at work.

Your body was itching. Your skin felt hot, and your clothes felt too tight. You needed to lie down.

He took a sip of water. He looked shifty, eyes darting from wall to wall, picture frame to picture frame, as if discovering some foreign, unknown territory. His mouth moved as if to say something, but he closed it.

Why was here? What’s taking him so long to spit it out? Should you say something? No, he was here first. God why are you so stubborn. You should just tell him to go, that you have work in the -

‘I miss you.’

Oh. Okay.

A breath of relief escapes him, but as he looked at you properly for the first time since last year, regret settled into his expression. You shifted in your spot, hands on top of each other, arms crossed, back to hands on top of each other. You decide to stand.

‘Say something.’ He pleaded, his voice a whisper that you only caught because you were paying attention to every detail. ‘Please?’

Get it together. You took in a few deep breaths, processing what you’d just heard. You’d grown used to being alone. Thoughts of Jude were for late, lonely nights. You never considered this – him back in your house.

It was scary. Scary how you were having such a visceral reaction to him here. Your palms felt clammy, and your mouth felt dry.

‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘Right. It’s okay.’ He cleared his throat, setting his water down. ‘I should probably go.’ He stood awkwardly and took a few steps towards the door.

‘Wait. I didn’t mean – don’t leave.’

He stood by the door, waiting for you to continue. He looked tired, like he’d just ran a marathon. You probably didn’t look much better.

‘I miss you too.’ You apparently found the courage to admit the truth, to yourself and to him. His eyes seemed to light up, not noticeable, not unless you were looking for it. He didn’t say anything, and so you took it as a push for you to reply. ‘I just. I’m scared. I guess I waited for you to call, for so long, and you never did. And so, I thought you never would. I figured you were doing good. Without me. And like I found ways to go on with my life and stuff, but like, I felt stupid for missing you. Because I didn’t know if you did.’

It was one of those nights then, full of too many truths and too much vulnerability. You felt sick, tired from all the words, both said and unsaid. You looked at him, he looked so handsomely deep in thought. You felt stupid for going on so much, regretting every single word, the longer he took to respond.

He took a single step closer to you, closing the distance. The room suddenly felt so much smaller.

‘You seriously think that? That I was fine without you? That I didn’t miss you? I thought about you every day. Every single time something good happened the only person I wanted to tell was you. It never felt right. None of it. Not without you.’ He reached out, held both your wrists with his hands.

You shuddered a little at the touch, having not been this close to him in so long. It felt as if everything you’d done this past year had led to this moment. His thumbs swiped across your wrists, so, so gently. And with that, everything you had pushed into one teeny tiny box had just sprung out.

‘All I thought of was you. All I’ve ever wanted is you.’ he continued.

You withdrew your arms from his grasp, forcing both of yourselves to reality. ‘But nothing’s changed. We’re in the exact same position as last year, and I can’t go through that again.’

‘I know that. Neither can I. But I can’t live without you. I’ll make this work. For both of us. So long as you want this too.’ The last part sounded like a question. He seems to have regained his usual confidence, sounding more and more sure of himself.

You’d never been one to take risks. You liked to plan everything, finding a certain charm in normality and routine. You craved it. And so, what you wanted to say, what you probably should have said, wasn’t what you said.

‘I want this. More than anything Jude.’

He gave you his first proper smile of the night, the familiar glint in his eyes returning. He took a moment to look at you, to really look at you again, and you felt your legs turn to jelly. How is it that after years of knowing him, he still has this effect on you? You felt the jigsaw puzzle that was your life slowly slotting itself together, and you almost felt confident that things were going to be okay. Sure, you were hesitant, but that was your nature.

‘I’m glad. I think I would have died if you didn’t.’

‘Bit dramatic, don't you think?’

Jude’s hand rose to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing your cheekbone so softly, it felt like a memory of his touch. The two of you stood there in silence, just breathing, his eyes never leaving yours, as though he was committing every detail to memory. For a moment, neither of you spoke. There was something so comforting in the quiet.

He broke the silence first, his voice barely a murmur. “When I said I thought about you every day, I meant it. I’d be halfway to the stadium or on the plane, and my mind would drift to you. I wanted you, every single time. And I knew it was too late… but that didn’t stop me thinking of you.”

You shifted, feeling the dull ache in your chest intensify, not because you doubted him but because you believed him. And you’d spent so long trying to convince yourself that he hadn’t been thinking of you at all, that maybe it had been easier for him. The reality was harsher: you’d both been carrying this weight, alone, pretending you were fine without each other.

After a moment, you lifted your chin and whispered, “I want this. More than anything. But let’s take it slow, okay? We need to figure this out together. No rushing back in like nothing happened.”

A soft smile crept onto Jude’s lips, and he nodded, understanding in his eyes. “Slow. Whatever you need. I’m here.” And for the first time since he’d walked into your apartment, a calm settled between you both. You didn’t know what the future held, but for now, you had this — a promise, a fresh start.

The air was different. It felt lighter. He took your hands in his, properly this time, and in the quiet of your apartment, everything felt right again.

————————————————————————

I don’t know what this is. It’s really bad I’ll probably delete soon. It has not been proofread. Also I don’t know how to use tenses. I was bored. Sorry

[spiceseal]

𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝟚

October 3. Prompt: Handjob Modern Au!Sanji x Gender Neutral!Reader

Pronouns: You/yours

Credit for the Prompt. Kinktober 2024 @absurdthirst Ivy's Mashup List 2024 Word Count: 1738 Includes: Modern Au/ College Au/ Domestic Au?? Sanji is not a virgin but It's his first real relationship so the reader makes him nervous. Kissing and touching. handjob,, Sanji is flustered and a Dominant Reader. They live together. Reader takes a break from mid-term studying to take care of him. food was mentioned briefly but not much. some cursing and begging. Sanji is a little desperate. One pet name (babe), I think. They do mess around in the kitchen,, I know he would never but its okayyyy. Notes: AAAHHH my first One Piece fic,, I did my best,, SORRY ITS SO LONG!!! no beta!!! I feel like this is messy but I'm getting back into the swing of fanfics again

Sanji’s knuckle wrapped on the door to your shared room. He still couldn’t believe you two actually shared a space together. It made his heart race a bit each time if he thought about it too much. Really, if he thought about you too, he was wayyyy too excited. Sanji had never had a relationship long-term relationship. Dating you made him nervous. Sure, he had sexual experiences. But dating you seriously made him feel like he was inexperienced in every department. The hold you have over that man made him melt.

“It’s unlocked,” Your voice called out from inside the room. You sounded busy but not dismissive. Sanji turned the handle before pushing the door open. Sanji’s eyes landed on your back. He glanced and saw you were working on your laptop. He knew midterms were next week for you. But he couldn’t help but want your attention. He admired the way the lamp on the desk illuminated your skin. Sanji swallowed his jitters and put on his calm and suave personality…. or at least he tried to.

“You need a break? I’m happy to make something to eat.” Sanji offered as he came up behind you. His hands rested on your shoulders. He felt the way your body was so tense from being hunched over your desk and laptop. A deep sigh, your shoulders slouched. 

“Yeah, but I can go with you. It’s been a while since I stretched.” You said tiredly. Sanji stepped back to give you space while you stood up and stretched with a yawn. As your yawn caused you to tear up, Sanji’s eyes trailed down your figure as you stretched. The lower half of your shirt slid up and exposed a bit of your midriff. Sanji cleared his throat and tried to not stare blatantly despite being your boyfriend. He always liked stare but he made the effort to be more respectful since you two lived together. Not that you minded his staring anyway. 

Your arms dropped after the stretch. Sanji let you go ahead of him. In passing, your hand grazed against his as the two of you walked towards the kitchen. Sanji kept glancing at you as you walked. The short but soft touch in passing. The way you walked, the way your hair moved as you did. The way your hips moved slightly from side to side as you walked. Sanji felt a heat creep up his back. 

‘No! No! Calm down. Now is not the time to act desperate.’ Sanji thought to himself and gave his head a little shake as if that would make his thoughts go away. He quickly stepped around you to make it into the kitchen before. He rolled his sleeves as he glanced back at you. 

“What did you want to eat, Y/N? I’ll make you anything you’d like.” Sanji grinned softly at you while washing his hands.

With a small tired yawn, you walked over to the fridge. While opening you, your sight stayed on Sanji. Poor baby, you could practically see the nervousness and anticipation in his body language. You suppressed a chuckle in amusement at the subtle expression of Sanji’s eagerness.  You tilted your head to look into the fridge. There were some leftovers and other things in there.

Sanji stared at you and his eyes stayed on your pursed lips. A habit you had when you were thinking or indecisive. It always felt like a taunt for him to kiss you. Of course, he knew it wasn’t. But if he wasn’t so damn nervous around you, he would’ve taken the chance to even give you a small peck on the lips. Sanji wanted to see if you were as cute and flustered as he imagined. If only he dared to do so. Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“Don’t do anything too crazy. I can finish the rest of my Chinese takeout.” Sanji wanted to cook for you but if you wanted to eat leftovers from yesterday, he wouldn’t deny you. Sanji nodded and moved closer to grab the takeout containers from the fridge. When he stepped and leaned closer to you, you placed a kiss on the corner of his lips. 

“A-ah.” Sanji widened his eyes a bit and all his calm washed away. His cheeks reddened a bit before bit his bottom lip to not burst out smiling. “Don’t tease me like that, Y/N” Sanji grabbed the containers and set them on the counter. But his mind had started to start spiral. 

‘Would it be selfish to ask for another kiss?’

Sanji thought to himself as he tried to not glance back at you. His ears caught the sound of the fridge closing and your small laugh. Damn it, you read him like an open book. His hands were a little shaky as his nerves caught up to him. His breath hitched a bit as your hands snaked around his torso from behind. Your warm lips pressed against the back of his neck. Sanji’s face was starting to get flushed. “Y/N?” 

You spoke softly near his ear. “I guess I’ve been neglecting you this week cause of midterms, huh?” Your hand switched from his torso to be over his hand. You guided his hand to set the food back on the countertop. Sanji glanced back at you before turning around to you. You had him cornered against the counter. Sanji’s eyes stared at your face before looking away. His hand hesitated to rest on your hip. The way his face was red from his blushing. It looked like he wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words.

“Do you need a breather, San-“ “No.” 

Sanji answered quickly, probably faster than he would have wanted but he didn’t want to lose your attention or the heat of the moment. You chuckled a bit before nodding reassuringly. You leaned in and kissed him in an attempt to ease him out of his nervousness. But you were met with a kiss that felt needy on his part. 

There the two of you were, in your kitchen, making out. Sanji’s hand gradually gripped at your hip tight and then loosely before tightening again. He was profusely blushing and his breathing got more labored before he pulled away reluctantly. With a short pant, Sanji grunted a bit. His lips opened to speak before he closed them, his gaze lowered as if he was embarrassed. You raised a brow before glancing where his gaze fell. Your eyes landed on the tent in his pants. It was endearing how fast he got turned on from being somewhat intimate with you. It always made him feel insecure but you loved it. You loved that his body reacted you to openly. It just showed his attraction to you and in turn, it made you want him more. 

“No worries, Sanji,” You said softly before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. His jeans slightly lowered and you didnt hesitate to slip your hand beneath the waistband of his brief. Sanji furrowed his brows and his breathing hitched as your hand touched him. 

“F-fuck,” Sanji stuttered out. His hips jutted towards your hand. Sanji’s hands moved a bit frantic to lower his briefs to his mid-thigh. It was embarrassing to be standing in the kitchen. But the way your hand wrapped around his length and stroked him off made him want to melt into a puddle. Sanji panted as he felt hotter from how close you were to him. His heart was pounding but he loved the way you touched him. Your index finger rubbed his tip, rubbing in the precum on himself. You hummed in satisfaction when Sanji moaned shakily by your ear. He leaned his head down against your shoulder, his hips weakly thrusting against your hand and hand gripping at your shirt. His cheeks were flushed red, his eyes had a hazy look to them, clouded by his pleasure and his cock was throbbing with need. 

You listened to the sounds of his heavy breathing and small whimpers. Your name was being mumbled out and moaned like a endless prayer from his lips. Your eyes switched between watching Sanji’s needy expression and down at how desperately he was trying to fuck your hand. You were almost tempted to drop to your knees and let him fuck your mouth instead but the way he was holding onto you and leaning against you for support made you stay still. His head against your shoulder, blond hair messily tossled against your shirt, his flustered sounds were music to your ears. You could feel your own arousal building up as he completely let himself go. 

“Y-Y/n. Fuck, oh god,, P-please... Let me cum. I wanna cum for you.” Sanji begged you breathlessly. Sanji opened his eyes and tilted his head to look at you. His lips stated parted as he leaned even closer. You nipped at his bottom lips before nodding at him. You kissed him once again. This time, you slipped your tongue into it. He breathed in sharply and kissed you back desperately as if you ever the very oxygen he breathed. Your hand gave him a small light squeeze around his member before you started pumping your hand faster with no warning beforehand. His hips jerked a bit and his back arched. Each moan you drew him was so much hotter than the last. He started to cum, Sanji urgently grabbed your hand to hold it still while he (pathetically) humped your hand. His cum smeared into your palm and between your fingers. You watched him as he came to a halt. His dick was twitching and dripping his mess onto the floor. Sanji panted heavily and he rested his forehead against your shoulder again. 

“...I’m not gonna clean that for you, babe. Sorry.” You said to him as you used your free hand to rub his back. Sanji laughed breathlessly before nodding, He kissed the side of your neck and hummed in acknowledgement. He felt embarrassed to have made mess of your hand and the kitchen floor. But that’s okay. Sanji looked at you shly and he mumbled, “No worries, but uh… Can I make you cum now before you go back to studying? 

You saw that hopeful but shy smile on his face. You chuckled and forgot about wanting to eat something and your study guide could wait a little longer. 

[piinksdoll]

→ [808 | Spencer Reid/Emily Prentiss]

Pairing~ Spencer Reid x Fem!Bau!Reader, Emily Prentiss x Fem!Bau!Reader

Genre~ angst, fluff, kissing

Word Count~ 2.8k

Warnings~ heartbreak, wine thats rlly it

a/n~ k this is very angsty, sad spence, sad reader, cute emily tho so yeah! have fun lmk what yall think! also NOT PROOFREAD!!!!

Today is the day. October 17th. 808 days. 

Spencer and I have been together for 808 days. I've counted every day since the first time he said ‘I love you’. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was after a particularly hard case, and I had gotten hurt. After coming back to Quantico he insisted on driving me home. He walked me to my door and stood in front of me. His hands were trembling, the rain soaked his hair and his clothes. He looked at me with pure adoration before the words left his lips. “I love you Y/n.” 

I have been up for 6 hours, pacing my apartment trying to prepare myself for what's to come. He's on his way here and I know why. It’s over.

I glance up at the clock, 7:58. He’ll be here any minute. Suddenly I'm snapped out of my thoughts with the knock on my door. I opened the door and there he stood.  “Come in.” I moved out the way to let him in. He enters my apartment, his eyes scanning the familiar surroundings as if he’s trying to memorise every detail. The warmth of my home feels so stark against the chill of the situation.

“Hey.” His voice barely above a whisper. “Hey.” I replied, my voice almost inaudible. “Do you want some coffee or-?” I start, desperate to break the silence, but he cuts me off. “No, I- ” He hesitates, glancing down at the floor before meeting my eyes. “I think we need to talk. I swallow hard, nodding slowly as the knot in my stomach tightens. “Yeah, I think we do.”

“Y/n, I don't know how to say this. I've been thinking about us, about everything.” He looked at me with those damn brown eyes. I could melt in them. “I think... I think we need to take a break. I need time to figure things out.” My brows furrowed in confusion. “Spencer. I don't know what to say to you.”

He nods slowly, tears pooling in his eyes. “I think it’s for the best. For both of us.” I shook my head, laughing bitterly at his words. “The best? For both of us? No Spencer, I think this is just for you.” His brow furrows, confusion mixed with hurt flashing across his face. “What do you mean?” I close my eyes trying to stop my tears from falling. “I mean, you’ve found something with JJ, haven’t you?” I cross my arms defensively, my heart racing. “You’re too scared to admit it, but you want her. You’re using ‘us’ as an excuse to justify leaving.”

“That’s not true!” he protests, his voice rising slightly. “I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. You know how much I care about you.” I shake my head at his words. 

“No Spencer, you don't because if you did, we wouldn't be here. Don't act like there's nothing going on between you too because there is. I've seen the stolen glances, the lingering touches. Do you think im stupid? I've seen the way you look at eachother so don't. Don't try to pretend you care about my feelings because you do not.” A sob escapes my lips. My hands are shaking and tears are streaming down my face as I continue “You don't get it do you? You are my whole world Spencer. I'd give my life for you and all I get is ‘I didn't plan for this to happen?’ You’re leaving me for one of, not only yours, but also my best friend. Like who does that to someone they love.” I shake my head, my tears blurring my vision, and for a moment, it feels like the world is collapsing around me. 

“I thought we had something special,” I say, my voice cracking. “Every day for 2 years, I believed we were building a future together. But now, here we are, and you’re throwing it all away.”

“Just go Spencer, I can't look at you without it ripping my heart out.” My voice trembles. He freezes for a moment, his hand still hovering over the doorknob, and I can see the hurt in his eyes “Y/N…” he starts, but I can’t bear to hear any more. “Please,” I choke out, forcing myself to meet his gaze one last time. “Just go.” His eyes search mine, a mixture of longing and despair etched across his face, and I want to scream at him to stay, to tell him I’ll forgive him, that we can work through this. But I can't do that to myself.  “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, his voice cracking as he leaves my apartment for the last time. 

My knees give in, I hit the floor unable to hold myself up. A gut wrenching scream leaves my lips, it feels as if the walls are closing in on me suffocating me with the weight of my heartbreak. I curl into myself, clutching my arms around my legs, the tears flowing freely now as sobs wrack my body. Each cry is a release, a desperate attempt to let go of the pain that clings to me like a second skin. It's over

—

Tonight is the first pasta and wine night at Rossi’s since Spencer left me for JJ. I smooth out my dress before heading out. Emily came to pick me up, “Hey, gorgeous! Ready to have some fun?” she asks, pulling me into a quick hug. I force a smile. “Yeah, let’s do this.” 

The drive to Rossi’s was quiet. I felt like Emily wanted to say something but chose not to pry. As we pulled into the driveway of Rossi’s gorgeous house, I saw Spencer’s car already parked. It made my stomach uneasy. I feel a pang in my chest, but I shake it off as we step inside.

“Y/N! Emily! You made it!” Penelope squeals, rushing over to pull me into a tight hug. Her excitement is contagious, and I can’t help but smile. “Of course! Wouldn’t miss Rossi’s cooking for the world,” I reply, attempting to sound cheerful. I felt Emily squeeze my hand, she gave me an encouraging smile as we walked further into the house. 

I catch glimpses of Spencer and JJ together as we walk past the kitchen into the living room. They’re sitting side by side on the couch, sharing quiet laughs and playful nudges. The way Spencer leans closer to her, the way JJ tucks her hair behind her ear, it all feels like a cruel reminder of what I’ve lost. I swallow hard, forcing myself to look away.

I walk back into the kitchen not wanting to witness them for another second taking a seat on the island with Emily standing next to me. “How are you doing bella?” Rossi asks concern etched on his face as he sets down a plate of freshly baked garlic bread.

I force a smile, trying to mask the hurt inside me. “I’m okay. Just… enjoying the night.” He gives me a knowing look, one that makes my heart sink a little. “You know I’m here for you, right? You don’t have to put on a brave face for me. And I know you’ll find someone, in fact they may be closer than you think.” I look at him confused. “Thanks, Rossi,” I reply, my voice soft. “I appreciate it.” I look back at Emily whose cheeks are now covered in a pink hue.

“What’s going on with you two?” I ask, raising an eyebrow playfully to mask my curiosity. She straightens up, her demeanour shifting. “Nothing! Just… a little wine, that’s all,” she stammers, glancing at the glass in her hand as if it holds all the answers. “Uh-huh, sure,” I tease.

After dinner we all begin to, wine is flowing a little more freely, and laughter filling the spaces between conversation. I catch JJ glancing at me more than once from across the living room, but I do my best to avoid her eyes, pretending to be focused on Emily’s story about some misadventure with Penelope. Eventually, JJ stands up “I’ll be right back,” she whispers to Spencer before making her way to the couch im seated on, and I feel the dread in my stomach grow as she walks towards me.

“Y/N?” JJ’s voice is gentle as she comes to stand by me. “Can we… talk for a second?” I hesitate, glancing at Emily, who gives me a subtle nod. I take a deep breath, then nod, standing up to follow JJ out of the living room and onto the back patio. The cool winds brushed me, I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself. 

“Y/N,” JJ begins softly, “I know I should’ve talked to you sooner. I just… I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already have.” I blink back the sting of tears in my eyes, She takes a breath, “I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. It just… did. And I’m sorry. I never wanted to cause you pain.” I nod slowly, taking a deep breath to steady myself. “I know, JJ,” I whisper, my voice softer than I expected. “But you did. You really hurt me.”

JJ’s face falls, and I can see the guilt in her eyes as she steps a little closer, her voice shaky. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. And you have every right to not forgive me or let me in your life. I care about you. You’re my family.”

I give her a small, sad smile. “That’s the thing, Jaje,” I say quietly. “You’re like my big sister. I’ve always looked up to you, trusted you. That’s why this hurts so much. I don’t know why you’d do this.”

She looks down, biting her lip as tears well up in her eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you,” she says again, her voice breaking. “It just… I don’t know how to explain it. Spencer and I, we just…”

I shake my head, cutting her off gently. “You don’t have to explain. I get it. These things happen, and I know you didn’t plan for it. But it still hurts, JJ.” Her shoulders sag, and I can see the weight of her guilt bearing down on her. “I know,” she whispers, tears spilling over. “And I wish I could take it back. I really do.” I reach out, placing my hands on her arms lightly, offering her an understanding look. “I can forgive you, JJ,” I tell her softly. “With time, I will. But right now… I just need space. I need time to heal.” JJ nods, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I understand. And I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wish I could make it right.”

“I know you are,” I reply. “And I appreciate that you’re here, apologising. But it’s going to take time.” She sniffs, trying to compose herself. “If you ever want to talk, I’ll be here. I just want you to know that.”

I give her a small nod. “Thanks, JJ. You’ll always be my sister. No matter what. I love you.” JJ’s breath hitches at my words, her eyes widening in surprise. But as I pull her into a tight hug, I feel her tense body soften against mine, and she wraps her arms around me in return. “I love you too, Y/N,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. “I always will.” I give her a warm smile before returning to the group. 

—

It’s been a month since everything with Spencer and JJ. A long, painful month, but slowly, things have been getting easier. I’ve been spending more time with Emily lately. She’s been there for me, a constant source of support when I needed it most. What started as a few friendly drinks after work or late-night phone calls turned into something more, a connection I hadn’t realised was forming. 

Tonight, the team is out for drinks, one of those rare evenings where the case is over, and for once, we don’t have to rush off to the next one. The bar is lively, the music loud, and the energy infectious. Emily and I have been dancing for the past hour, laughing and letting loose. I haven’t felt this carefree in a long time. I step away from the dance floor for a second, and go to the table where Derek, Penelope, Aaron, Rossi, and Spencer were sat. Emily and JJ went to grab drinks. 

“So, you and Prentiss looked pretty cozy out there. Do I sense a relationship perhaps?” Derek teases me, nudging my shoulder with a playful grin, I roll my eyes, trying to play it off, but I can feel a blush creeping up my face. “Derek, it’s not like that,” I protest, though my voice betrays me. 

Penelope leans in, her eyes have a look of mischief. “Uh-huh, sure. You’ve been glued to each other all night. Just saying.” Even Hotch cracks a small smile, sipping his drink. “It’s been nice to see you so relaxed lately,” he says, with genuine warmth in his voice. I can’t help but smile back “I’m just enjoying the night, guys. And even if I like her, who says she likes me?” They all look at me in shock, “Y/n be serious for a second, she cant get enough of you. You guys are attached at the hip every second you’re together.” Penelope exclaimed, trying to convince me. “I- I don't know you guys…” I shake my head reluctantly, as Morgan is about to reply Emily and JJ come back with drinks for everyone. “What’re we talking about?” Emily asked as she slid into the booth next to me. “They’re being ridiculous as always and I kinda wanna leave…” I whispered the last part leaning into her shoulder. “Alright we can leave, ok you guys I think we’re done for the night. We're gonna head out!” I let out a breath of relief as we made our way out of the bar. 

Emily took my hand into hers shooting chills up my spine. I thought about Penelope and Derek’s words, could she really see me like that? Especially after seeing me and supporting my relationship with one of our mutual friends? As I was about to speak up Emily beat me to it. 

“You know, you're someone I look forward to seeing everyday Y/n.” The look in her eyes made my heart skip a beat. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks, I swallowed, nervousness and excitement swirling inside me. “Emily…” I look down to hide the grin forming on my face. 

“And I don't want to rush you. I know this isn't where you thought you'd be but Y/n I- I like you a lot. And I underst-” she continued, but before she could finish I reached up pressing my lips against hers. 

Emily froze for a split second before melting into the kiss, her hand coming up to gently cup my face. The world seemed to stop as we stood there, wrapped in each other, my heart pounding in a way I hadn’t felt in so long. It felt like all the tension and unspoken words from the past few months were pouring out between us in that single, tender moment.

When we finally broke apart, she kept her forehead pressed to mine, her voice barely a whisper. “I didn’t think I’d be this lucky tonight.” I let out a shaky laugh, feeling a surge of emotions that I’d tried to ignore for so long. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way again… but here you are.”

Emily smiled, her thumb brushing over my cheek as she pulled me close. “One step at a time, okay? We don’t have to figure it all out tonight.” I nodded, a wave of relief washing over me. “Yeah. I’d like that. One step at a time.”

(Spencer’s Pov)

I stepped out of the bar and caught sight of Y/N and Emily up ahead, walking together under the dim glow of the streetlights, her hand held in Emily’s. My heart clenched. Not being with her has been eating away at me, more than I wanted to admit. She was right about everything—how I took her for granted, how I’d let myself fall for JJ, that I lost sight of what really mattered.

Seeing her now, laughing softly with Emily, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I’d tried to convince myself that walking away was for the best, that it would be easier on both of us, but watching her find happiness without me made it all feel final. She deserves someone who would make her feel seen, who wouldn’t let her slip through their fingers. And maybe Emily could be that person in a way I never could.

As they turned the corner, I hesitated, realising I didn’t have a reason to go after her anymore, and it ripped my heart out. 

“2 years, and 75 days…”

[qin-qin16]

obligatory dustyscarf request sorry

[DustyScarf, mermaid!Geno, butcher!Dust, horror, angst, thoughts about suicide, cannibalism mentioned, mermaid sushi??]

note: first piece of horror for october! Happy october guys :D

Geno no longer felt his gills; they lay numb beneath the cold water. Perhaps, if his body kept sinking in the bathtub, they would even start to rot — but there was no way to tell, especially since Geno refused to look under the blocks of ice that meticulously encased him, waiting for the end he so desperately desired.

The tips of his phalanges had lost all feeling, just like the end of his long red tail — what had once been shiny fins were now reduced to retracted, lifeless tissue, losing the beautiful luster they once possessed. 

His vertebrae shook, fragile against the icy air of the room — even the simplest tasks felt like an immense effort. Surviving had turned into a burdensome struggle, and Geno felt drawn to forsake it.

The door — possibly the only spot not covered in white, marked by a dry crimson stain — creaked open slowly, producing a drawn-out groan that sent a slight shiver through Geno's skull. 

A figure emerged in the doorway, and Geno’s blurred gaze quickly dropped to the grotesque apron it wore: splattered with a dried red substance, clinging to the old, faded fabric that had decayed from use.

"Why the sad face?" Dust's voice is low and raspy, as if he hasn't spoken in ages. 

Even though Geno sometimes hears him murmuring to the walls, laughing with them about his suffering. 

Approaching the bathtub, Dust crouches down beside it, directing his two red dots toward Geno’s face before resting both elbows on the edge — fresh blood trickling from his arms into the water, tainting the mermaid’s false sanctuary.

Ignoring the lack of response — perhaps used to Geno’s silence — Dust returns to speak, "You know, I’ve been wondering: should I freeze you and wait for the perfect moment to serve your tail on a plate, or should I display you in a lovely aquarium at home?" He purrs, appearing fascinated by both ideas. 

Even though a shiver ran down Geno's spine, his expression stayed cold. The small white dot, faint and nearly blending into the void of his eye socket, remained focused on Dust, captivated by his one bicolored eye — perhaps, in a way, startled by the blend of blue in the red sea of the other’s gaze.

Dust resumes murmuring to himself, dipping one hand into the bathtub — the blood gradually spreading through the water, staining even the ice cubes. 

A rough laugh escapes him, rasping against his vertebrae. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of this sooner? I’m so fortunate to have such a helpful brother!” His voice carries an almost ironic tone, if not for the manic smile that creeps across his face, reaching his eyes, which are so enchanted on Geno. “Why not both?”

Dust lifts his hand, which had just been in the bathtub moments before, to Geno's indifferent face, smearing it not only with blood but also with a playful, mocking tenderness.

He emits a soft purr at the sight of Geno — his so silent, frozen Geno — flinching at his touch. 

“I’ll bring you home, and when I get tired of your sick state, I will prepare a grand feast with your flesh; maybe I’ll even hang your bones on the wall as a beautiful memorial of your existence.” He promises, and Geno can't help but wish he had chosen to devour him instead, putting an end to his extended and eternal suffering.

[skyfallscotland]

A year ago today, I posted the first chapter on AO3 of a story called Fury.

A few months before that, I'd picked up A Court of Thorns & Roses. It was the first original work I'd read in years and when I finished Silver Flames a week later, I turned back to AO3, desperate to read more about these characters I'd fallen in love with. I couldn't find what I wanted. Feysand fic was all well and good, but there wasn't much of that, and Azriel didn't appeal to me, which ruled out...well, most of the archive.

Original character fic gets a bad rap and that's mostly because OC fic can often be an author's first foray into fandom and writing in general, making the quality hit and miss, but that's what I really wanted in the end—I wanted to read about other characters in this world and I wanted to flesh out the world itself. I had questions about Windhaven, about siphons and magic and all the things that had been mentioned and glossed over. I couldn't find fic that answered those questions. So I wrote one.

I'd written before, basically my whole life, but never finished anything. This time though, it was like something clicked in my brain. I wasn't back on Tumblr yet and I had no one to talk to about it, but I wrote and wrote and wrote. I'd been writing for months, in secret, not telling a single soul. I'd completely written both Fury and Siren, the second in the series, before ever posting a word of it.

I almost didn't write it, really. Almost didn't post it. I figured no one was going to read it with the way people look down on original character fic. But I felt compelled to write their stories, so I did—night after night. I actually think they might be the best stories I've ever written. The statistics don't reflect that, but I didn't have a storyline to follow, a framework to back me up, like I did later with Remi's Version, just a world and some characters and I'm very proud of them.

Remi's Version came after. I'd started writing it by September, but didn't start posting it until late October (that anniversary is next week) and I almost didn't write that either, because I thought maybe it was too much, too self-indulgent, too unbalanced. It's funny to think now, that I almost never wrote her at all.

I don't know why I'm writing this essay. Maybe just because it feels...some kind of way, you know? It's been a year, but that year felt like a decade, and it's been hard. Picking up ACOTAR was an act of self-preservation when I was at my lowest and Fury and Siren and everything that came after pulled me from somewhere I never want to be again.

It's been a year. My word count on AO3 is now 1,088,097. (That's like, twelve novels!). I've published 11 works. I've written a lot, I've laughed and cried and made friends with so many of you. I'm alive.

I guess I just wanted to say thanks, and to mark the milestone somehow because it feels like I've lived ten lives since October 17th, and in all of them, this was the high point. Happy Birthday, Tessa 🖤