#i have been closer to crushing on girls than boys irl

[thenobleclearlightbulb]

My mom told me I shouldn’t move to Germany because German boys aren’t a good match…

I’m tired of trying to explain. One day she’ll figure it out

[jina1028]

Perfect

Jiung x fem!reader

Categories: chubby reader, smut, kissing, making out, oral (fem rec), fingering, hair pulling, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don't do it irl), creampie, cuddling, tell me if I missed anything

~♡~

Today your self esteem was the lowest it had been in months. The guy you met from an app ghosted you after the first date and posted a few new pics on his instagram with another girl just a week later.

It's not like you really hated your looks, most of the time you thought you looked pretty... But then a random, rude comment on the socials under some girl's pic or, like in this case, the boy you liked started dating a pretty, skinny girl after ignoring you for a whole week, things like these made you think that maybe girls like you weren't what men usually wanted.

You had been sulking the whole evening and finally Jiung paused the series you were watching on netflix (the main character a beautiful, skinny girl, how strange).

"Okay, this is the third time you ignore my comments on the show, I can tell something's on your mind and you're not paying attention at all. What is it, Y/N?"

You looked in his direction, taken aback by the sudden interruption of your train of thoughts, and felt like a scolded child under an angry parent's gaze. But Jiung's gaze was somehow softer, like he was genuinely concerned.

You sighed, shifting beside your best friend on the couch "Nothing, I guess I'm just bitter about that dude who ghosted me. He has another girl now. She's pretty. And skinny."

Jiung looked at you like he was pained, his eyebrows knitted and a pout on his lips. He looked like he was about to say something but you cut him off before he could even speak "Yeah, I know what you wanna say, you already told me... I don't think I'm ugly, really, but seems like everyone else does think that. Just because I'm chubby."

Jiung listened to your small rant in silence, and looked at you like he was struggling to find the words to say. It was so unusual for him to not scold you and start a sermon about self love or finding happiness within yourself and such philosophical things (which you loved him for to be honest) that you started to worry if he was just tired of your complaining.

"He's an idiot" he finally said "and by the way it's important that you don't actually think you're ugly, because you're not. You're beautiful."

You didn't know why but that last comment made you feel warm, maybe you were even blushing?

"A lot of men, if that's even important to you, like chubby girls" he continued, filling in your silence "I know I do."

You looked at him, not knowing what to say. The atmosphere was different than usual, like something switched.

Jiung was looking back at you with unusually dark eyes, shifting closer to you, a hand coming up to place a strand of hair behind your ear.

You felt like he was pulling to him like a magnet, his hand now resting and stroking lovingly on your cheek, inching closer to your lips the more you leaned in his touch.

His thumb grazed your bottom lip, pulling it slightly. A slight blush graced his cheeks when he found himself staring and struggling to hold back, all this time having this huge crush on you but being too scared to act on it. But now he was tired to hide it, when he loved you more than a simple friend, when you looked perfect in his eyes.

"Can I?" you barely caught it, Jiung asking for permission in a whisper.

"Yes" your own voice barely audible, and that's all Jiung needed.

He pressed your lips together, moving them slowly, like all the time in the world was yours, caressing your lips with his tongue and sliding it in to play with yours, occasionally pulling back to slightly suck at your lips and attack you again with his tongue. His kiss felt passionate and dominant, his hand caressing your nape, adding to the hot feeling that was building up inside of you.

You couldn't help but moan into the kiss, Jiung feeling proud of the sound he gained from you just by kissing. He moved his other hand down your back, resting it right above your butt and squeezed, wanting to feel your plush skin between his fingers and hear more of your pretty sounds.

When he heard you release another little moan he reluctantly broke the kiss and gently pushed you on your back, straddling one of your legs and slotting his right knee between your soft thighs, sultry eyes and a smile adorning his pretty face.

Jiung resumed your passionate kiss, using his left arm as support and letting his other hand wander on your body, caressing your neck and moving lower to your breast, groping and slightly squeezing, then lower to your hips and left thigh, roughly grabbing the soft flesh through your sweats and kneading with his greedy hand. His knee occasionally pressed up against you core, causing the nice friction to make you hiss and mewl.

"You don't know how much I've wanted this, how long..." his deep voice laced with arousal directly in your ear, his lips now grazing your ear, down your jaw and neck, kissing, sucking and softly biting, bringing shivers and goosebumps to your skin, a whimper leaving your lips when his own found and sucked a sensitive spot on your neck. He kept abusing that spot, earning moan after moan, until he was satisfied with his art, all the while his hand moved to the inside of your left thigh, reaching your core and massaging your clothed lips and clit. He could tell how wet you were by the smooth friction the slick in your panties created and couldn't help but groan, impatient to see and feel your warmth and wetness directly on his skin, his fingers, his mouth, his cock.

Jiung kneeled back up above you to remove his shirt. You admired his face, torso and tattoos, your gaze finally laying on the obvious tent in his pants.

He followed your eyes and smirked "Like what you see?", pointing out his words with a gentle squeeze on his shaft through his pants. You nodded, humming approvingly, leaning back up on your elbows and reaching out your hands, resting them on the waistband.

You looked up at Jiung, a smile on his face encouraging you as you pulled his pants and boxers down enough to free his member. You felt your face heat up at the sight, it was gorgeous, big and veiny, a pearl of precum shining on the pink tip.

"Now don't make me feel shy and strip down" Jiung pouted, making you chuckle a little.

Soon enough he was pulling you up and helping you remove your shirt and sweats, admiring your curves while you stood in front of him, eyes sparkling "You're beautiful..."

Jiung sat back down on the couch and brought his hands on your hips, slowly pulling on your panties, looking up at you with expectant eyes "Is this ok?"

"Yeah, I want it as much as you do, Jiung."

He smiled and shook his head "You really have no idea the effect you have on me... Every time you hug me, every time you bend over to do something, every time you dress up in revealing clothes..." he kept talking while slowly pulling down your panties "Call me a pervert, I don't care, but every fucking time I popped a boner to the most random things and had to hide it or go and take care of it... That's what you do to me."

You stepped out of your panties "Maybe you're really a pervert... But I love this new side of you, show me more."

And so he took the challenge, grabbing your left leg and lifting it to rest your foot on the couch. He placed wet kisses from the inner side of your knee up your thigh and to your core, finding your clit and swirling his tongue on it making you moan and grab his soft hair. He tilted his face enough to make eye contact with you while his right hand slid between your wet folds to tease your entrance.

You bit your lips as he finally slipped a finger inside, the extra stimulation heightening your pleasure.

Jiung alternated harsh sucks and soft licks, adding a second finger to curl and thrust, hitting the right spot over and over, reducing you to a whining mess "I'm gonna-" you moaned as your orgasm washed over you, pulling at his hair while rocking your hips against his face to ride it out. A moan reverberated on your clit as he kept gently sucking on it until you forced him away when it became overwhelming.

You admired his state, nose, lips and chin glistening in a mix of his saliva and your arousal, harsh pants leaving his lips. He took his fingers from your pussy to bring them to his mouth and lick them clean, the sight so erotic you could come again right away.

You pushed him against the back of the couch and straddled him, taking his neglected cock in your hand and pumping it a few times, spreading his precum on the length before aligning it with your entrance, sinking down on it easily from how wet you were.

Jiung threw his head back with a groan, eyes closed, as you started gyrating your hips on his, his hands flying to your butt, squeezing and helping you move faster.

He felt like he was living a dream, and if it was he didn't wanna wake up.

"So wet, feels so good... Keep going like that..." Jiung moaned, overwhelmed by the intense pleasure, his eyes getting glossy and drool starting to pool at the corner of his lips, pulling up his head from the cushions to focus his gaze on the way your hips rolled on him, trying to see the way your pussy engulfed him when you started bouncing, his hands aiding you in your task, helping you lift up and letting you fall back down.

Your moans and grunts filled the room together with obscenely wet sounds and skin slapping on skin until Jiung, in a flicker of lucidity, warned you he was gonna cum.

"Cum inside, fill me up" you moaned, surprising Jiung, a smile tugging at his lips before he fucked you from below pressing his feet to the floor. The unexpected force and new angle pushed you over the edge again and your walls spasmed hard around Jiung's cock, making him moan and cum inside of you, painting your walls white, both your hips stuttering at the intense pleasure.

You kept going until you milked him dry and he grabbed your hips to still you on top of him, cock too sensitive from the orgasm, wrapping his arms around you to push you against his chest and resting a few moments like that, breaths and hearts gradually slowing down, your hands resting on his shoulders while he softly traced his fingers on your back for what felt like hours and it still wouldn't be enough.

Eventually, Jiung took your face in his hands and kissed you tenderly.

"You're perfect" he whispered, a content smile on both your faces.

"No one is perfect" you replied just to tease him.

"True" he countered, kissing your nose, "but you're quite close."

[lgbtqmanga]

New Releases Sep. 17, 2024

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When Minobe Chihiro is admitted to a private arts academy to study ballet, the last person he expects to train with is the surly second year Ichinomiya Shun. Yet by some stroke of luck, the two have been paired up for their school’s mandatory pas de deux practice. While Minobe has fallen at first sight for Ichinomiya’s superior dance sense, the second-year’s attitude leaves a lot to be desired. For Ichinomiya, paired with Minobe as a dance partner is not how he’d like to be spending his time. The grumpy upperclassman has his walls up, but Minobe’s puppy-like affection might be just what he needs!

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Arisa and Mari have finally decided to get married! The two are in a better position than ever to prepare for the ceremony now that they may know the cause of Arisa’s amnesia, except…Mari still hasn’t told her family about their relationship. And so, amidst all the wedding planning, Mari and Arisa go to greet Mari’s parents and announce their intentions—but will the pair be able to get through to them?

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (manga) vol. 12 by Yuu Toyota

Adachi and Kurosawa’s married life hits the first bump in the road when Kurosawa just won’t slow down on a work project! After he brushes off Adachi’s requests to let him pull some of the weight, insisting on taking care of everything himself, Adachi retaliates—by refusing to be intimate with Kurosawa until the big project is over! Will Kurosawa make it through and get his reward from Adachi?! As for Tsuge and Minato, it’s their six-month anniversary! They decide to rent motorcycles and spend a day touring around together, which proves to be the perfect opportunity for them to get a whole lot closer…

The Executioner and Her Way of Life (manga) vol. 5 by Mato Sato, Ryo Mitsuya, and nilitsu

Menou and her allies succeed in executing Manon Libelle, the mastermind behind the drug monstrine—but they are immediately attacked by one of the Four Major Human Errors who once destroyed the world, Pandæmonium. Up against an enemy who creates infinitely many monsters from her flesh, revives herself at will, and treats life and death as mere entertainment, Menou is driven into a corner. But just as she prepares herself for the end, the princess knight appears…

Hatsukoi Note (manga) vol. 1 by Amekiri

Shouya, a high school boy whose heart has never known romance, comes across an internet diary filled with wistful whispers of love toward the writer’s same-sex crush. A photo posted to the page provides a hint as to the blog’s owner: Tsubame, a fellow classmate known for being a lone wolf. Shouya realizes that his friend Ryuu is the object of the diary writer’s affections, so he attempts to play matchmaker…but where will his own feelings take him in the process?

I Can't Say No to the Lonely Girl (manga) vol. 4 by Kashikaze

After a dramatic intervention, Ayaka finally makes her heartfelt confession and prevents Sora from moving to Hokkaido. Their mutual affection deepens their relationship, calling for “requests” that demand more.  “Something besides kissing…”  Ayaka and Sora are feeling the heat, and they’re ready to jump into romance with no regrets.

I Cross-Dressed for the IRL Meetup (manga) vol. 1 by Kurano

"Cocoa” has made three best friends in her monthly meetup group, where girls get together every month to quell their sweet tooths by meeting up at the cutest and trendiest new dessert cafes. Cocoa is in it for the sweets--really!--but she's also harboring a few secrets: Not only does Cocoa have a crush on another one of the girls in the group, Opera, but she's actually a guy named Satoshi who's been cross-dressing in order to attend the all-girl group! During one meetup, things come to a head when Opera discovers that Cocoa is cross-dressing--and to Cocoa's surprise, Opera confesses that he is too! But Cocoa realizes that his attraction to Opera is more than clothing-deep, and as the two grow closer, they'll learn more about each other--and their own selves--than they could have ever imagined.

Just Like Mona Lisa (manga) vol. 2 by Tsumuji Yoshimura

As Hinase approaches their eighteenth birthday, their life continues to diverge from those of their peers. After Shiori and Ritsu both confess their feelings on the same day, confusion sets in as Hinase begins to see their two childhood best friends in a new light. And now that their body is starting to hint at transformation, Hinase must decide who to give their heart to before it's too late… What draws the line between friendship and romance?

Sailor Moon Naoko Takeuchi Collection (manga) vol. 10 by Naoko Takeuchi

Teenager Usagi is not the best athlete, she's never gotten good grades, and, well, she's a bit of a crybaby. But when she meets a talking cat, she begins a journey that will teach her she has a well of great strength just beneath the surface and the heart to inspire and stand up for her friends as Sailor Moon! The original Sailor Moon in a new, affordable edition.

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Known throughout the school for her selflessness and perfect grades, there's not a single underclassman who doesn't look up to Yaya Suou--including Ichigo Hinamori. Turned down by her crush because of her childish image, Ichigo idolizes Yaya and wishes nothing more than to be as mature and elegant as her senpai. But Ichigo's perfect image of Yaya is shattered when she comes across her wallowing in self-pity in the nurse's office one day. The real Yaya is clumsy, clingy, and selfish--not at all like the perfect act she puts on. What's more, she's desperately starved for attention and now she won't leave Ichigo alone.

This Monster Wants to Eat Me (manga) vol. 2 by Sai Naekawa

“WHAT HAS YOU IN SUCH A HURRY TO DIE?” Shiori the man-eating mermaid has seen through Hinako’s lonely wish. The girl who spends her time in solitude bares the truth to her devourer—her family made one final request the day she lost them. But really, they cast a curse on her, eating away at her from the inside…Will her newfound confidant help Hinako overcome the tragedy of that day?

The Troublesome Guest of Sotomura Detective Agency (manga) by Kusama Sakae

Matsuda Kei is a private investigator who specializes in quirky cases centered on his local neighborhood around the shopping arcade. He’s recently taken on a new roommate (and lover) named Kamiko who is unemployed, ruthlessly horny, and was actually a classmate from his past. While the two work together to solve cases, they carry on in what starts as a strictly physical relationship… until Matsuda finds that this temporary situation he has entered with Kamiko might be turning into something more.

Twilight Out of Focus: Long Take Part 1 (manga) vol. 5 by Jyanome

Second-years Mao Tsuchiya and Hisashi Otomo make three promises: 1) That Mao will never tell anyone that Hisashi is gay and has a boyfriend, 2) That Hisashi will never think of Mao “in that way,” and 3) That they'll always knock before entering, in case someone is having some “private time.” The two's ground rules should ensure a peaceful life together in their dorm, but life is never as simple as it should be, and some things are not so easily promised in this latest volume…

[heeseungwifey]

"It's so romantic in Paris, won't even try to compare it..." [Sunghoon x Kazuha]

Chapter 1: The sleeping beauty

pairing - iceskater!Sunghoon x Ballerina!Kazuha (read the disclaimer!)

wc - 1.6k

sypnosis - Kazuha is flying with her ballet school to Paris to perform The Sleeping Beauty but she's very unmotivated since her crush and her rival are the main leads. Her day turns around the moment she sits next to Sunghoon, a hot ice skater who's coincidentally also flying to a championship that takes place in Paris.

warnings: embarrassment, mentions of ED (following chapters), smut (following chapters), very awful writing from a non-English native (sorry!) I'll add more warnings as I finish the following chapters.

GUys this is my first fic everr!! my idea is three chapters, developing the story, this is just the beginning, let me know if you like the idea.

disclaimer: I don´t ship anyone in this fic irl, I just thought they would look good together and everyone has such an elegant essence.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1; The sleeping beauty

All I’ve known since childhood is perfectionism and strictness. Classical music and training hours. I guess that’s the price to pay to get somewhere as a ballet dancer. Maybe I’ll never know anything else.

I’m standing on a queue at the airport, destination Paris. My school and I are going for a 3 month show at the Palais Garnier, presenting The Sleeping beauty. I would be very much enthusiastic about this if it wasn’t because unless Mina “the sleeping beauty” breaks a leg, I’m not even part of it at all.

Saying goodbye to my parents in sweats and with my headphones on I walk to the boarding door when I noticed a group of tall and slim men are also approaching it, but I don’t recognize any of them from our school.

“Ice skaters”- Says Chaewon on my shoulder, looking at them from head to toe. – “They have a world competition in Paris too, seems like all stars align for us and our trip to the city of love, don’t you think?”

“I’m nervous enough thinking that I might be kicked out if I don’t do better, I have no time to think about boys, even less fuckboy athletes”. – I’ve had enough experiences to know that if I plan to keep being a ballet dancer, my chances of finding love are very slim.

“C’mon Kazuha you always say that and then get paired up with a boy and suddenly they’re the love of your life, or don’t you remember your big fat crush with Minhyuk?”

Back when our school was doing Romeo and Juliet, Minhyuk was doing Romeo and I was Juliet. He’s way older than me but I guess spending so much time with him every single day made me grow fond of him. He didn’t feel the same because right after Mina entered the school they began dating. When I heard the news, I couldn’t leave my house for a week and called in sick. Chaewon came to visit and when she realized I wasn’t sick she began insisting to know what happened, so I had no other choice but to be honest. I know it’s completely fair that a man that has no interest in me dates another girl but the simple thought of seeing them together made me want to barf and it still does.

Sakura is simply the most talented of all of us, including Minhyuk, whom I had always considered and admired for being so talented. It’s obvious that for this great opportunity they were going to get the lead roles. They make a good couple and I’m jealous of that. I cannot simply be happy for people that are better than me on everything so effortlessly, it makes my blood boil. Specially Sakura, who’s so nice it makes it impossible to hate her.

“what seat are you on? I’m on F22”- Chaewon has been talking to me all this time as I was just dissociating, thinking how much I’m going to miss my parents and sleeping in my bed.

“I have seat F25, let’s see if we can ask someone to move so we can seat together.

Right as we are aboard the plane and get closer to our seats, I realize that we’re sitting right in the middle of the group of ice skaters.  I look at their faces and suddenly get very intimidated by how handsome they all are. High noses and fair skin, very slim and a great posture. I realized one of them has white hair and is sitting right next to my seat, F25.  By the time I’m going to tell Chaewon I don’t think they’re going to change seats with us she’s already talking to the boy who’s next to her seat.

“Hi Jake, my name is Chaewon, nice to meet you! Has anyone ever said to you how beautiful your nose is?”- she seats next to this man, and I already know I’m not longer going to sit next to her.

“Are you on the seat F25? Hold on, let me get up so I help you with your bags”- The boy with the white hair gets up and I get to compare is height to mine. Wow, he is tall. If I hugged him my head would be resting right on his chest. I look up as he finishes putting my bags on the overhead compartment and we make eye contact.

I felt like everyone had disappeared for 10 seconds. Chaewon, Mina and Minhyuk, every other passenger was gone the moment his eyes met mine, such beautiful dark brown that left me no choice but to look at them. I quickly snapped the moment I realized he said something to me.

“do you have anything else you wanna put in here? - he repeated.

“no, no thank you. That’s all”- I smile shyly and embarrassed as I slide onto my seat, next to the window.

“I’m Sunghoon, nice to meet you”- I looked at him in disbelief as the lingering question I had in my mind was answered by him, starting a conversation I wish would last the whole flight.

“I’m Kazuha, are you by any chance from the ice-skating national team?”- I need to keep the conversation going so I ask the most obvious question ever.

“Ah yes, we’re going to Paris because the tournament is being celebrated there. What about you, what takes you to Paris?”- he has turned his whole body towards me, resting his forearm on the armrest that’s in between us and looks at me directly into my eyes, waiting for my response.

“I’m a ballet dancer, we’re going to Paris for 3 months to present The Sleeping Beauty at the Garnier Palace.”“Are you the sleeping beauty?”- he asks with a smirk on his face.

“Uh, no, I’m going just in case the female lead gets injured, so I’m really not going to dance much”- I let a smile slide since weeks and kind of embarrasses me the way I’m telling a stranger my life.

“Wow that girl must be a really good sleeper if she won you because I highly doubt, she’s more beautiful than you”- He looks at me in the eyes and I’m no longer giggling, my face is getting red as I realized he’s complimenting me.

“Oh, thank you, well she’s indeed really pretty so I didn’t have a chance either”- I laugh it off and follow his joke as I become shy because of the redness on my face.

“who is she? Let me see if that’s true.” He looks around the airplane and I point at Sakura who’s casually resting her head on Minhyuk’s shoulder, which sends shivers down my spine and Sunghoon notices.

“Is it her? Really? well I guess not everyone has a good eye for beauty”- he looks at me and I can tell he’s trying to cheer me up, so I smile at him, and he smiles back showing his pointy canines, making him look like a vampire. I hate that he feels pity for me, so I decide to start watching a Netflix show on my iPad and leave the conversation all together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three hours have passed and my airpods remind me there’s no battery left so I have no other choice but to stop watching the TV show. Sunghoon next to me realizes and offers one of his.

“I’m watching Catching killers, I don’t know if you’re into true crime, but this is what I can offer”- he looks at me funnily while he whispers, with a smile on his face and holding the right airpod with two fingers.

“I actually love true crime”- I whisper since there’s people sleeping around us, pick the airpod and put it in my ear. As I get closer to him to see the laptop screen and absentmindedly rest my head on his shoulder leaving it there for the rest of the flight.

By the time we get to Paris we’re both asleep, me resting my head on his shoulder and his head on my head. When we wake up, we’re surprised by Chaewon and her new friend Jake, laughing at us.

“Wow look at them, sharing airpods and all, hahaha”-he was laughing and sticking out his tongue.

“Zuha I thought you weren’t into athletes, I guess it was a lie”-Chaewon said to me, laughing.

“Jake bro shut up”- Sunghoon looks mad with his eyebrows furrowed and angrily packing his laptop inside his backpack.

“Chaewon are you dumb?!, stop shouting!”-they were making so much noise I knew it was gonna bring attention to us, what I didn’t expect was Minhyuk showing up right as everyone was getting out of the plane.

“Kazuha what is going on? Is he bothering you?” - he looked quite angry and was making direct eye contact with Sunghoon, who was looking at him right back.

“No, it’s okay, we were just watching a Netflix show together and fell asleep, that’s all.”

“do you know him?”

“no, well yes now I do, we just meet on the plane”- I tried to excuse myself in front of Minhyuk, making a fool of myself in the process.

“let’s go kazuha, get your belongings”- Minhyuk says very strictly, and I had no other choice but to follow his orders. No one is laughing anymore, Chaewon, Jake and Sunghoon look at me worriedly as I grab my things and leave next to Minhyuk.

Now that I think about it, I never said goodbye to Sunghoon. I don’t even have his phone number. Let the City of Love do its magic if this is meant to be.

[friedwangsss]

LET’S PLAY HOUSE UNIVERSE. | young austin!elvis x young black!reader

notes : “ever since you and elvis played house, your feelings for him have changed.”

extra notes : thankfully i was able to remember some of what i wrote before tumblr crashed. thought this was a cute concept for writing them when they were younger and i’m definitely doing something like this for elvis’ pov!!!

“see ya later, elvis. tell ya momma i said i’ll be around to see her soon.” your mom handed elvis a wrapped up dish that you three had for dinner that night.

“yes, ma’am. she said she can’t wait to see you again.” he smiled and waved at the both of us and walked out the door.

you momma watched him a few more moments, making sure he could make it home nicely before closing the door. “such a sweet boy, ain’t he?”

“yes momma,” you walked back into the kitchen/dining area and cleared the rest of the table. elvis had given you another dance lesson in the kitchen just a few hours before your momma came back from work. you had heard her at the porch and quickly told elvis to make it seem like you weren’t doing anything bad. she came into the house and saw elvis and said he could stay for dinner.

elvis teaching you how to dance really started to mess with your young mind.

him saying that playing house with you is fun and that it wouldn’t be too bad kissing him if you gave him the chance (you still giggled and told him no). just elvis being in a close proximity with you was enough for you to realize that he wasn’t just a friend to you.

“momma,” you called out as you placed the drinking cup in this sink. “can i ask you something?”

“of course, baby. come sit on the couch.”

you made your way into the little family room, sitting on the couch. you didn’t know how to approach it so you tried to find the right words, playing with the hem of your dress.

“y/n, i can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s buggin’ you, baby.”

“yeah, i know. i just..” you sighed. “i don’t know how to say it.”

your mom hummed. “i see,” she looked up before looking back at you. “how about this: i’m gonna name something—or someone—and you tell me whether or not it’s what you’re thinking about. sound good?”

you nodded.

“a’ight. so, elvis has been here quite a bit.. is it about him?”

you nodded, fingers still fiddling with your dress.

“okay,” she lets a tiny smile grace her face. “do you, possibly, like elvis?”

“of course i like him, he’s my best friend.”

she chuckled a little at your sudden response. “i know he is, but i mean, more than your best friend.”

you didn’t respond or nod. she didn’t need you to. she already knew you did.

“oh, my baby’s got a crush. that’s so sweet.”

“momma, what do i do? he make my stomach feel like i swallowed three butterflies.”

“that’s normal, baby. i felt that way with your father.”

you nodded, thinking about elvis again and how he would react if you ever told him about your crush on him.

“but remember,” your momma grabbed your face gently and turned you to face her. “you can’t go telling everyone about your crush on him.”

“why not?”

“‘cause, not everyone is fond of a white boy and a black girl bein’ together. it could put you and me, elvis and his momma in danger.”

“oh.” was all you said back, mentally cursing racial segregation and the fact that no one wanted black people to be breathing the same air as white people.

she pulled you closer to her, holding you in her warm embrace. “keep this between you and me.. and elvis if you wanna tell him too.” she chuckled.

and as much as you wanted to shout it from the rooftops that you loved elvis, you knew she was right.

you just had hoped he liked you back.

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[ukiyokki]

mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

Hello! can you do a scenario with fem!reader and father's best friend!namjoon? I totally understand if this is a concept you're uncomfortable with. All the armys are going crazy with the dilf!bts concept so I need to have this 😭

Tbh that's a hard concept (like absolutely don't do this irl y'all plss it's not okay if it's not fiction– go in the notes to read my PSA pls) so I had to write a bit of plot at the beginning just because I wanted to make it as less weird as possible lol

Namjoon wasn't the type of family friend you got to see a lot growing up. He was, however, the type of friend you got to hear about a lot. Your dad had spent his high school years being in a band that never really had its break, and Namjoon had apparently been the youngest member and your father's favourite. He kept talking about how he "raised" him, meaning he helped him get his first kiss and taught him about girls. Then your dad got your mum pregnant right after graduating, and they both decided to move to the US to find a job and start their family. Your family. And so your dad lost touch with his best friend.

He talked about him quite often, and you knew he had even visited once when you were still too young to have a memory of it. You had only ever seen a couple of pictures of them together; Namjoon looked like a very cringy 13-year-old with a terrible haircut. Not that your dad as a teenager looked any better. But that's beside the point. It doesn't matter what he looked like back then, today you probably wouldn't be able to even recognize him even if he passed you on the street.

"Did I tell you? My best friend moved here from Korea! The band kids are back together!"

Namjoon came back into your father's life at around the same time as you left it– moved away for college. And you kept getting all these updates on how great it was that they found each other again, how many things they did together and in general how happy your dad was. When you visited home for Christmas, Namjoon was away so you didn't run into him. And almost a year after he had moved there, you would finally meet him during the summer. Your father invited him for dinner one hot evening in July.

You opened the door to find him standing outside, your mother just a step behind to greet him. “Joonie! So glad you could make it. Come on in, come on in... Ah! As you know, this is our daughter.”

The man was tall and handsome, nothing like the pictures you had seen. And familiar. His eyes met yours and he smiled, making your blood run cold— you had seen that man before. Not even a week ago, staring at you at the bar while sipping his whiskey until you decided he was too hot and couldn’t be older than 30, so you walked up to him and gave him a napkin with your number and a lipstick stain of a kiss on it. He never called.

“Wow,” Namjoon said without his tone matching his words. “She has grown up so much.” And he looked you up and down again, checking you out kind of like he had done that night. Your entire face was burning, turning on your heels to get away. What the fuck kind of luck was that? He was your dad's friend? You hoped– you begged that he didn't recognize you. He wasn't saying anything, though his eyes kept on stealing looks, and so you thought you might have had a close escape. Until you run into each other in the kitchen. Alone. "Come here, young lady," he said in a deep voice that sent shivers down your spine. You already felt like you were in trouble. "Does your father know you go around giving your number to men almost twice your age?"

He was so close, eyes travelling lazily down your form with a smirk on his lips. "No," you choked. "I– I don't– You were staring at me, that's why I thought..."

"I was staring at you because I was trying to figure out if you were my best friend's daughter."

Hearing him say the words made your cheeks burn. Defeat. He had a logical excuse and all you had was that he was a little too much your type. And he sounded like he was scolding you, reminding you of your place. You lowered your head, really wanting to get out. "Please don't tell him."

Don't tell him I hit on you. Don't tell him I wanted to fuck you.

Namjoon didn't reply right away, but late that night you got a text from an unknown number. "I won't tell him anything."

He won't tell him anything. Perhaps that could be applied to what had already happened, or what would happen in the future.

You didn't text frequently, but you did nonetheless. And even though you were sure both of you would say they were simple, innocent texts, how innocent could they really be when the man already knew how you felt about him? Maybe you were crazy, but you thought he might like you too. Maybe he liked the fact that you liked him. It wasn't evident in anything he did or say, just the vibes you got from him those days he visited your house, or the way he looked at you when you were left alone for a second. The summer passed by so fast when every other day you met your father's best friend in one way or another.

When it was time for you to move back to the city where you attended college, Namjoon just so happened to be going there for some work too. And your parents were grateful that you had someone to travel with. The car ride was long and mostly silent. You had never been left alone for so long and suddenly you realised how hard it was to keep a conversation going without talking about how horny he made you feel just by being in the same, tight space with you. But the farther away you got from home, the less you cared about keeping your good reputation up.

"Where will you sleep tonight?" you asked him after he helped drop off all your stuff at your apartment late that night and was already at the door, ready to leave.

"I'll find a hotel," he told you, hand still on the door handle.

"You can stay here if you want to."

"Don't–" His plea was soft-spoken, in contrast to the intense way his eyes were piercing yours.

"Don't what?" you acted dumb. "All I'm saying is I'm sure dad would rather you stay instead of paying for a room. You're like family, anyway."

You noticed how he took in a deep breath, grip around the knob getting harder. "Don't bring him into this."

Saying that you two shouldn't mention your father was like admitting what was going on right now was beyond innocent. And even though your stomach clenched at his harsh tone, you bowed your head and whispered. "I'm sorry."

"This is so wrong," you heard him call loudly all of a sudden, making you look back at him. He was chewing on his lip desperately. "I was there when your dad got your mom pregnant. Do you know what I said? Fuck, man, how are you gonna get out of this bullshit? I shouldn’t be…"

You blinked at him, waiting to hear the end of the sentence. "Shouldn't be what?" You weren't gonna let him slip away that easily. You would push him until he had to say what he wanted to say. It was your only chance, anyway.

Namjoon sighed. He pushed the door closed and walked up to you steadily all while he was staring straight into your eyes. "Why did you give me your number that night?"

Your breathing was already getting heavier. You wouldn't back away. What was the point? He knew already. "Because you were hot. And I wanted you to fuck me."

He chewed his lip for a few seconds, watching your face as he contemplated his next words. "Why do you want me to stay over tonight?"

You gulped. He was so close, closer than ever. "Because you're hot," you whispered. Glance down on his lips. "And I want you to fuck me."

He closed his eyes momentarily before he was exhaling loudly. "Fucking– hell!"

And he instantly moved forward, one hand grabbing the back of your head as he brought your face to crush on his, mouths smashing against each other after all the times you had dreamed about it. It was so much better than you could have imagined, lips full and soft parting yours for his tongue to slip in between, making you moan. And you were trying to get closer and closer, almost tripping as you walked blindly further into the apartment. His jacket was discarded on the floor before your shirt joined it, and Namjoon was growling before attacking your neck with his teeth.

"Daddy..." The word truly slipped out of you, and he was pausing for a moment, pulling away to look at you.

"Really? You're really gonna call me daddy?" Your eyes were wide and cheeks burning, squirming away from him before he grabbed your wrist to keep you close. "Shit," he grunted, not sounding mad at all. "Alright, baby. Show daddy where your room is, need to get you in bed right away."

And you mewled at his words. You were there in no time, pulling the rest of your clothes off as Namjoon undressed too. Big and thick, he was even hotter like that, making you press your legs together as you took the sight in. And when he removed his boxers too, you got to found out his dick matched the rest of his body perfectly, long and thick and so hot it made your mouth water.

"Daddy," you whined as he started crawling over you. "You're so big. You're gonna tear me apart."

His large hand grabbed your jaw. "That's what you get for playing with big boys." And he kissed you ruthlessly again. His other hand travelling down your form until he found your pussy, fingers playing with your folds and humming in satisfaction. "So wet. Is that all for me, baby?"

"Yes, daddy," you moaned, hips trying to grind on his hand for some more friction. "I've been wet for you since I first saw you."

"Fuck. I know, baby," he breathed into your ear, two fingers slipping slowly inside you and stretching you out. "I could tell. You weren't hiding it very well, baby. How much you wanted me to ruin you. Which is why daddy's been hard for you all this time, too." Your breath was hitching as he was moving his hands slowly, not even trying to fuck you like that, just trying to get you ready for his cock. And he stopped. "Are you gonna let daddy fuck you raw, baby?"

You almost screamed. "Fuck, yes, daddy, please! Fuck me open with your cock."

Namjoon was growling as he retrieved his fingers from inside you. "What a dirty mouth! Who taught you to speak like that, you dirty, little whore? I thought you were a good girl."

Your nails were scratching his back as you whined and squirmed underneath him. "Oh, daddy, please! I need you! I'll be good for you."

And you felt the tip of his dick press against your entrance as he shushed you. "Alright then. Be a good girl for daddy and take this big cock like the good, little slut you are." And he shoved himself in you.

"O–oh my god!" you yelped. Namjoon didn't go easy on you, didn't go slow or gentle, he started pounding you fast and hard right away, truly fucking you open like you had asked him to. You were squirming underneath him but his body was so big and strong, it was caging you completely. And just to shut you up he kissed you again, tongue so deep in your mouth he was choking you. Namjoon was fucking you so hard he brought tears to your eyes, and you felt euphoric being used by him like that.

"My dirty, little cunt," he rasped after he freed your mouth. "Like taking my cock like that?" You were nodding, mewling, unable to speak. "What a good girl. Letting daddy fuck her as hard as he wants." He leaned back, grabbing your arms until he had your wrists pinned above your head and the new position gave him the ability to piston his hips against yours even faster, diving even deeper.

"Fuck, daddy, I'm gonna cum," you cried, legs shaking as they fought against his abusing thrusts between them.

"So easy," Namjoon panted with a smirk. "So easy to please you. Gonna cum cuz you've never had dick like daddy's before, huh? No one's ever fucked you this good? Those little boys your age, I bet they don't know shit about pleasing a nasty girl like you." He spat on his free hand and brought it right down on your clit, pressing on it hard. And you were moaning even louder. "There you go, baby. You can cum on daddy's dick now."

"Namjoon–" you yelped, and you felt your orgasm pop, gushing all your juices over him as he kept fucking you through it. He slowed down a bit, coming down to kiss you sloppily as you continued to whine with each thrust against your sensitive, tight walls.

"That's my good girl," he whispered, kissing you almost lovingly. "Don't worry, baby. We're not nearly done yet." And his thrusts slowly got deeper and deeper. "You really shouldn't have let me fuck you, baby. Cuz now I don't ever plan on stopping."

Masterlist | Part 2

[mcmoth]

BOIS

The aro c!Tommy propoganda is done.

Here:

Friends can be Home, too

Summary:

Love. The thing that supposedly drove the world, that made everyone happy. He thought he knew love. But maybe… maybe not. Maybe there has been something deeply, intangibly wrong about him this whole time, and he hadn't even known. Not to this extent.

'Cause he knew before. Knew it in the unease in his bones, and the panic in his brain, and the annoyed buzz in his chest. But… but he had doubted.

 He couldn't doubt anymore.

A journey of introspection, self doubt, and realizing you're not alone.

Or read on ao3!

Warnings: swearing, internalized arophobia, which includes self doubt, a bit of self hate, that sort of stuff. Also, this will have like, mentions of attraction and all that stuff, and Tommy gets pretty confused, so if you'd like to avoid that? This isn't the fic for you, ig. Btw, as a reminder, this is all set in the dsmp universe and is not about the irl people in any way.

Now onto the fic!

Welp.

Tommy sure is ready to stab someone right now.

Well, not really. More accurately he wanted to run, or shrivel up into a fucked up raisin, or snap, or just exist in darkness right now. Because there were his two best friends, cuddling on the couch. And he was sat there, next to them, supposed to be enjoying movie night.

It's not like he wasn't happy for them. They can do what they want, he reminded himself, again and again. They're just expressing their love, they're just close, and Tommy has to stop being such a fucking oddball about it. This wasn't weird. It wasn't weird.

And he could even see Ranboo giving him looks, probably about to ask something stupid. But if he made any comment, expressed discomfort, that would just be him being a dick and a weirdo. He's not going to ruin this for them. He just has to… to ignore it. To ignore it. He can do that. Yes.

“You alright, Tommy?”

Tommy's jaw snapped, he could feel his teeth grinding, and the couch was feeling all too small. So with a fast raise to his feet, he stumbled away, throwing a brash “fine" Ranboo's way, something burning deep in the pit that was his chest.

It was fine. It was fine. Why wasn't it fine? What the fuck was wrong with him??

Maybe he was just…

Jealous.

 

***

 

“I think I have a crush on Hannah.”

Tubbo and Ranboo stilled. The silence was… bad.

“oh?”

Tommy gulped, anxiously crinkling the chip bag he got from targay. “Y-yeah.”

Tubbo hummed. “I've never seen you interact with her much. When… did that start?”

Tommy's mind buzzed, and he resisted crushing the food in his hands, reclining heavily against the backrest of the bench. “I-I don't know, uh, recently? I guess? She's just… nice. She uh…. Has pretty hair? And she gave me a flower once! That was just, swe- uh, poggers of her, so. Yeah. I just think… yeah.”

Tubbo nodded, head tilting. “Do you think she likes you back?”

Tommy's eyes widened, and he didn't know why he laughed, but he did, and when he responded, he himself was taken aback by the hiss accompanying the words. “No!! She- why would- no- no, I mean… m-ma- I don't know??”

Ranboo swung his tail. “She better not. I mean, how old is she?”

“What does that matter?”

Ranboo stared. “You’re a child. Technically.”

Tommy bristled. “Fuck you, I am a big man! I'll kill you!”

The conversation moved on after that, and Tommy, somewhere along the way, quickly got lost. Head filled with cotton, electricity running through his veins, feeling horribly, oddly, humiliated and strangely… dissatisfied.

They didn't care. And he just felt more confused than ever.

…Why did he even do that?

 

***

 

Tommy was walking, grass up to his knees, a lead in hand. When he reached the village, he tied it to a fence, patting his borrowed horse before placing feet on the path, comforted by the gravel crunching beneath his feet, the feel of the sun on his neck. He looked around, at the wooden houses and half stacked stalls and idle chatter. He looked around and he thought.

He thought back to older days. This was… strangely nostalgic. Walking alone, in an unfamiliar town, the vastness of the world enveloping him in it's many potentials. He still wasn't sure when he felt better. Running around on the streets, just trying to survive, noone by his side, weak but naïve, hopeful. Or now, with some people to care for and trust, a place to return to, enough food in his pack, but shouldered with the weight of a dozen betrayals, life slipping past him three times too many. In a sense, he was still just trying to survive. Everything was so different now, yet the same.

He supposes, one thing that remained, was the sense of loneliness.

He grasped the front of his shirt, taking in the beating of his heart, looking at the strangers mingling amongst themselves. At the pairs, at the couples, at the families, sharing laughs and smiles, a contrast to the furrowed brows or tired amusement of shopkeepers and the idle folk visiting them.

He had always wanted a family.

…there was one way to get a family.

Someone to share laughs with. Someone who would comfort you. Someone who would take your hand, or hold you through the night, and never even leave. Someone who promises to stay.

It was a nice thought.

So why was it so hard to conceptualize? To imagine, to picture someone actually coherent, to look at a person and go – yes. I want to be your partner.

...eugh. just that sentence made his whole nervous system do a double take.

But why? Why? Was it the betrayals? Was it some fucked up self conscious mind shit? Was that it? Was he just fucked up in the head? Maybe.

Maybe.

But as it is, he knew he liked girls. He did. He liked them. They were… they were nice. Like Niki, who smelled of baked goods, and had a soft smile, and who had once given him a hug when she found him crying during the revolution, and who looked very nice in dresses. Or Puffy, who had made him a pickaxe when he asked for one, and who opposed Jack in stealing his hotel, and who offered him therapy, and she had really cool horn rings. Or Hannah, with her red flowers, and pretty builds, and the way the nature seemed just a bit more lively with her around, and her laugh was bright with mischievous intent that he could empathize with. They… they were nice. Yeah. Most girls were so nice.

So why… why hadn't he found one that he could. Actually picture doing… anything. In his head. No kissing, no dates, none of that… shmuck. It was just… he could see many girls his age running around, just now, in front of his eyes, many running through his mind as he searched his memories. None of them… no. And he tried thinking of boys, but that didn't… no. Not that either. …Enbies?

No… no, nothing… nothing felt. Good. None of it felt good, he just felt sick, he just felt weird, he didn't even feel dirty per se, but more like he was charting into foreign grounds, into something alien, and none of the thoughts he forced to visualize behind his eyelids, fleeting from how quickly he shut them out, felt like him. It didn't feel like him.

His fingers trembled, his chest felt tight, throat choked, and his head, on his shoulders, heavy and woozy and oh so muddled. He felt his heart race. Was… was that it? Maybe that was a sign. People said heart racing was a sign of attraction. Was there anyone in particular who did that? Maybe he was wrong – he was not lacking or messed up or broken, he just had buried the feelings so deep below his ribs, underneath fabricated doubts and trauma and the disconnect he had with reality and relationships in general, and once he got over those barriers, and just found someone, he would experience that joy that everyone spoke about. That closeness. He just had to… allow himself to get closer. To know more people, know them better.

That was… that was probably it.

But no matter. He raised his eyes, his senses coming back to him like the wind blowing his hair out of his eyes, blinking at the noise around him.

After all, he still came here for a reason.

 

***

 

“Yeah, I like these ones the best,” Tubbo said as he handed Tommy the various colored discs. Tommy nodded, smiling as he sorted through them, writing down the names in his notepad, feeling little stones dig into his elbows. Tubbo joined him fully on the ground, laying down next to him. “What do you need these for, anyways?” he blinked, and there was a smirk growing on his face. “Are they for… someone?”

Tommy furrowed his brows, staring at the other. “What?”

Tubbo chuckled nervously, waving his hand around as he stumbled over his words. “You- you know. Like a gift? Are you going to… to try to, get someone?”

Tommy’s stare just became sharper, becoming even more confused. “What??” What the fuck was he talking about?

“You know, like a- a date?” Tommy blanked. “Cause- you know, you've been talking about girls a lot lately, and I just thought-"

“No.” Tommy interrupted, feeling numb. “No, it's not for a fucking girl.”

“Oh.” Tubbo laid on the grass, clearly uncomfortable. He began to tear up the leaf he had picked up. “Sorry, I just thought- I'm not really good at this whole thing… sorry for assuming. W- …what is the reason, then?”

Tommy sighed, thankful for the topic change. “It's for… you know how I’m going to therapy?”

Tubbo hummed in affirmation.

“Puffy suggested that, since I like music, I should like, indulge in that, use it to calm myself or give myself something to do, that junk. So I’ve just been. Collecting, I guess.” He looked over the list again, then closed the notepad and sat up, discs in hand. “I wanna build a place where I just keep all the records, maybe I’ll even sell the ones I don't like. Good business practice, you know?”

Tubbo brightened. “Oh! That sounds really cool! If you need help with the building part, I can help you, by the way!”

Tommy looked at Tubbo's grin, so sweet and infectious, and his heart thawed, thinking of working with Tubbo again, building towards something together. It was a nice thought. “Alright.”

It would be nice to be with Tubbo again.

 

***

 

Tommy felt miserable.

This… this was miserable. He didn't know why. It really shouldn't be – it was just music. He was just sorting through all of his music, picking ones he liked, picking ones to comfort him, he loved music, it was fine, it just…

Why did so many of the songs have to be about love.

It made him feel angry and hurt and alone in a particular way that was so familiar and yet so utterly different. Because when he felt alone before, he fought with himself the same, he sunk into the thoughts of being unlovable or broken or undeserving of company, but at least he could understand it. At least he could look back now and think “Dream was a bitch" and that would be some solace. At least he could have hope that even if he was unlovable, he could still love. Love others. Try to seek others. Even if he never got that back.

But now, hearing all the poetics and sweet confessions that were in such abundance, something that sounded so passionate and revered, so integral, it was like looking into another reality he didn't, couldn't, understand, and suddenly, he felt more alien than ever before.

And most importantly, how fucking stupid that was, that the thing that made him feel that way was love.

Love. The thing that supposedly drove the world, that made everyone happy. He thought he knew love. But maybe… maybe not. Maybe there has been something deeply, intangibly wrong about him this whole time, and he hadn't even known. Not to this extent.

Cause he knew before. Knew it in the unease in his bones, and the panic in his brain, and the annoyed buzz in his chest. But… but he had doubted.

He couldn't doubt anymore.

God….

He laid on the ground, head to the cold floor, the record still spinning. The noise bounced off the dark wooden walls and into his skull, grating and aching. He covered his ears, messed up his hair, breathed in and out. In and out. What was wrong. What was wrong.

The record fell to silence. Then it started back again, as it automatically swapped out. Next.

His fingers felt restless, his whole body did. He tapped his skull, feeling the thumps echo. Breathe in, and breathe out. Breathe-

“-ow will I ever know you enough to love you, if you're hiding who you are?

Don't ask me to explain-"

He startled, his breath catching. This disc was scratchier than the others. It felt different. Something in him drew in the lyrics, head loud. He blinked.

…He's not hiding. Is he? Hiding what? He’s- no. Just- Breathe in-

“-Who are you hiding from, across the table with a penny in each eye?

Don't ask me to explain, don’t ask me to explain-"

His breath escaped, arms trembling as his body froze. He didn't understand. He couldn't explain. He wanted to cry. Something was unravelling.

“I'd like to marry all of my close friends, and live in a big house together by an angry sea,”

He sobbed.

He did, he thought, with surprise, as the tears fell.

“Am I the devil's marbles don't move on without me,

Who will be watching my body when I sleep?

Who will I believe in?”

Something… yeah.

Something happened.

Because suddenly, all that stress, all that confusion, all that loathing, was detangling, and the tears ran deep, ran painful, silent, wheezing screams escaping as the sobs continued. He couldn't breathe. His chest was tight. His head swam, and he felt oh so light headed. Light. He felt light. Happy. He felt alive.

He felt understood.

He- he wanted that! He could- he wanted to live with his friends, with Tubbo with Ranboo. He wanted to stay as friends. He wanted them to protect him, to be able to trust them, to be able to protect them in turn, he wanted to reside with them, he wanted to sleep amongst them, to have them watch over him, safe, he wanted to wake up in the morning and see the sun rise with then, he wanted to have casual dinner with them, he wanted to grow old together with them. As friends. As friends.

Friends.

What a lovely thing…

He could… he could live with his friends…

He could build a family with his friends.

And he didn't even care at that moment that he didn't know how Tubbo and Ranboo would feel about that. He didn't care whether they'd want him at their house, whether they'd want him around at all. He didn't even care, at that moment, if he couldn’t join them.

Because he realized that it was a possibility at all. Just the prospect, just the thought, the realization, that spending your life, being intimate, finding a stable ground, with your friends, not romantic partner, was possible, that it was possible to not be able to feel otherwise, that it was shared by other people, who wrote this song, who sung it, who had thought about it…

It meant he couldn't be that alone after all.

“It's so easy to lie to myself,

And pretend that I could love you, but I can't"

And oh so comforting it was, that he couldn't.

 

***

 

“Ey, Ranboo! Bitchboy!”

Ranboo suppressed a smile, an exasperated sigh hissing through his teeth. Tail swishing, he glanced to the other boy, who was down below, standing in the snow.

“C'mere!! I gotta give you something.” He yelled.

Ranboo raised a brow, but complied, closing the window he had been looking out of. After making a quick detour to check on Michael, he made his way down the stairs and stepped out of the doorway and into the light. Tommy bounded to him, big grin on his face. He seemed jumpier than usual. Ranboo smiled in turn. “what is it?”

Tommy opened his mouth, then closed it, instead going to rummage through his bag. What he took out was a… box? “Here, fuckboy.”

Ranboo winced, taking the container. “Don't call me that.”

“Why, what does it mean?”

Ranboo stared. “Just…. Don't.”

Tommy blinked, laughing nervously. “o-okay.”

Moving on, Ranboo inspected the item in his hands. It was medium sized, and made of simple, but elegant, smooth black wood. On the top, there was a leather sign embedded in it, with the word Beloved stitched into it. His ears flickered. This seemed… awfully nice. “What’s in it?”

Tommy scoffed. “Just open it, you twat.”

Ranboo, with a glance, could see the anxious way Tommy was holding himself, seeming impatient and uncomfortable. So he wasted no more time, and clicked open the surprisingly sturdy iron latch after a moment of struggling, and what awaited him inside was…

“…Discs…?”

Ranboo held his breath, fingers twitching as he held the gift. …was it a gift?

Tommy was staring at the ground. “Yeah. You know, I’ve just been traveling around, collecting, and I wanted to…” He seemed to shake himself lightly, hands wringing. “I wanted to give you some, I guess. That… yeah. These are yours.”

Ranboo was stiff, still perceiving the actual gift in his hands, that looked hand made, that was hand picked, that Tommy had worked to attain, just to give to him. His tail curled, and he carefully, delicately closed it's lid and hugged it close to his chest. “I… Thank you. Thank- O-oh wow…”

Tommy scowled. “You look like a fish. It's not a big deal. Just… take a listen sometime, won't ya?”

“Y-yeah!” Ranboo reverently nodded, cursing the way his eyes felt misty. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll definitely listen, and cherish it. Thank you, Tommy.”

Tommy curtly nodded. “Alright. Pog.” And then, he was turning around, walking away with a quick “Share it with your family, too, some day. Bye.” Thrown or his shoulder.

And then, he was gone.

 

***

Tubbo heard music down the hall.

Ears tilting towards the pleasant sound, he skipped with bare feet over to the source, evening light casting warm glow through the windows as he went. When he arrived, to what was Michael's bedroom, he found Ranboo on the couch, curled gently over their son, head resting on his little head as he seemed to just… listen, wistful. Michael was listening too, letting out a little yawn as he turned his head to snuggle even deeper into his parent's warm embrace. Tubbo smiled softly at the scene.

Quietly, he patted over to them both, Ranboo eventually noticing him and watching him as he did. Tubbo buried a hand in Ranboo's hair, and the other leaned in. “What are you listening to?”

Ranboo didn't rush to explain, letting the comforting silence fill the space. When he spoke, it reminded Tubbo of soft flower petals and honey. “I didn't know Tommy's music taste was so…”

Tubbo blinked, turning to the disc lazily turning on the jukebox near them.

“-But in the end, I don't really care what you think,

Cause the bottom line is you make me happier than I’ve ever been...”

“wholesome.” He chuckled, fondly.

Tubbo hummed, unsurprised. “Tommy gave you these?”

Ranboo leaned more heavily in the couch. “Yeah. I don't know why, but…”

Tubbo's smile only deepened as he thought. Slowly, he replied, “I think he just wanted to show you he cared.”

Ranboo seemed to lose his breath a little, looking up at the other. “You think so…?”

Tubbo carded his fingers through Ranboo's hair, looking past Ranboo's twitching ears. “Tommy doesn't do things like these without reason. If he gave you something, it’s safe to say you mean a lot to him. He doesn't like to show it, usually, but… that I know.”

Ranboo stared at the turning of the discs, breathing softly. His tail curled around Michael. “Oh.”

Tubbo sat down at his feet and joined in.

Hearts warm, they laid there and listened until the sun had cast it's last rays and the jukebox no longer had a melody to spin.

 

***

 

Tommy sat behind the counter, feet on the counter, just trying to eat his discount chips while some people were being dumb children.

“Stop throwing the fucking food! I'll have to clean this up later!” He whined, to which Tubbo and Ranboo just threw him a glance, Tubbo’s apathetic and Ranboo's at least vaguely guilty, before Tubbo went right back and threw another gummy worm Ranboo's way.

Tommy scowled. “Seriously. At least pick them up and eat them.”

Ranboo made a face of disgust. “I'm not gonna eat candy off the floor, Tommy.”

“Yeah, some of us don't eat mud, Tommy.” Tubbo added.

“There’s no fucking mud here! It's a clean floor! You can totally pick them up and eat them, what the fuck!”

Tubbo raised his brows, staring. “Okay, then go and eat them, trash boy.”

“Okay, that's it.” Tommy raised to his feet, left his chip bag on the table and ran to Tubbo. Tubbo squawked, crawling onto the armchair he was reclining in to curl into a ball around his bag, but Tommy just threw himself onto the armchair with him, trying to reach for the candy. Which, considering the position, it was more like he was half-tickling, half hugging the other more than anything. “Give me that.”

Tubbo just burst out laughing, trying to hide deeper into the couch, attempting to kick the other away. “St-Stoppp!”

“C'mon, you disobeyed my shop's rules, I’m just confiscati-"

Something hit his head. Tommy stilled.

Ranboo peeked from behind his own candy bag, before digging into it again.

Tommy laid off of Tubbo slightly, raising like a puffed up cat. “Ranboo, you fuck!”

Tubbo laughed again, and Tommy was about to go on a murder spree, only for all the commotion to halt when they heard a sudden 4th voice.

Michael.

“Oh shit.”

Ranboo sighed. “He's awake. C'mon.”

Tubbo sighed as well, rolling out of the couch and dragging his feet towards the source of the oinks. “For the record, this is not my fault.”

Both of the other boys gave him the stink eye, but in the name of preserving needed ceasefire they held their tongues.

Michael was sitting up in Tommy's bed that resided in the backrooms, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and hiccuping. Tubbo reached for him, lifting him up. “Aww, did we wake you up? I'm sorry, little bossman.”

Michael clutched Tubbo's shirt, muttering something in piglin.

“He's asking what all that noise was.” Tommy quickly translated, before turning his eyes back to the kid and saying something soft in piglin back. Michael listened, seeming to quiet a little.

Ranboo, gathering that it was an affirmation, smiled and took one of Michael's hooves gently. “Yeah, we were just having fun. Do you want to have fun, too, Michael?”

Michael’s big eyes widened, and he wiggled in Tubbo's grip. “Ye! Ye!”

They chuckled, and Tubbo transferred his hold of Michael to Ranboo, who led the way in making it back to the front of the shop, chatting with his son all the while.

Tommy bumped his shoulder with Tubbo's as they walked, but didn't say anything further. Tubbo bit back a grin.

The next hour was spent feeding Michael and letting him listen to some new discs. Tommy even remembered he had some records that were in piglin, some songs, some stories, and put them on, which seemed to enrapture Michael quite a bit, immersed in the new voices and tales and familiarity. The three boys let him sit in Ranboo's lap and get lost in his own world, residing on a couch together and quietly chatting, around them comfortingly dark walls, bookshelves and the smell of wood and candles.

Eventually, the conversation steered.

“You know, Tommy, why don't you join us?”

…huh?

Tommy blinked, willing his breathing to restart and for the words to come. “W-what?”

Tubbo looked at him with warm eyes and a trepidant smile. “Like, how would you feel about coming to Snowchester? Live with us?”

Ranboo waved his hand. “Of course, you don't have to! But we just thought, you know, if you'd like a bit more, uh, company…”

“We want to be with you, is all.” Tubbo added quietly.

Tommy's heart raced, and he only blinked more, hands clutching the fabric of his pants. “B- be with me… are you…” he gulped down the butterflies clogging down his windpipes, still trying to understand that this is real. “are you sure…?”

Ranboo grinned, patting Michael's head idly. The piglin looked up at them. “Yeah! You're family, Tommy, after all.”

Tubbo tilted his head. As Tommy was still struggling to respond, he assured, “You don't have to if you don't want to, big man. No pressure.”

Tommy laughed, weak and breathless, but bright. “No, I-I’d- I'd really want that, but…” he gestured, trying to put his worries to sudden coherent sentences. “wouldn't that be… awkward? Like… you two, just, l-lovebirds," he chuckled clumsily, “and then there's… me, just, there?”

Tubbo shared a look with Ranboo, then turned back and laughed. “You won't be a third wheel, if that's what you’re asking.”

“Yeah, it's not like we’re really romantic partners, even, it'll be fine.” Ranboo said.

Tommy stilled.

Blinked.

“Uhw- what?”

The other two tensed, Tubbo quickly glancing at his husband before grimacing, thinking deep on how to explain it. “You know, we… we're not really… romantic? We just decided to marry? But we're… not platonic either, it's…”

“I-It's something inbetween. Queerplatonic is the word? I think?”

“It's hard to explain-"

“There's- there's a word for that? And you were- Like. Friends? Living together, this whole time??” Tommy reeled, head in hand.

“Well, not exactly friends, or at least, with how we decide to label our relationship, but… yes?”

“Oh my-" Tommy slumped forwards, now both of his hands holding his head upright, just. Breathing. “Shit. What the fuck. I…” he laughed, wrecked.

Tubbo and Ranboo stared at him, uncomfortable. Tubbo frowned. “Look, if you… if you're gonna say something, I’d rather-"

“No- nono, it's…” he raised his eyes, slowly, like coming out of a cave and into the light. His words tripped upon his tongue, but he was so eager to know. “So you two don't want… romantic partners?”

They blinked. “Not… particularly, no.” Ranboo replied. “…are you okay?”

Tommy laughed. It sounded stilted even to his ears, senses muddled as he was wrapped up in his own head, his own elated feelings, his heart nearly bursting at the seams. “I-I’m not alone.”

Tubbo stared, but then his eyes softened. He sighed, and his smile was immensely gentle, while looking at his friend. “Oh, Tommy…” Ranboo, beside him, wilted the same.

Michael, inbetween them, looked at all three of them silently.

“…Do you want a hug?” Tubbo quietly offered.

Tommy quickly nodded, slumping into Tubbo's side and burying his face in Tubbo's soft hair, not even caring for the way one of his horns poked into his cheek slightly. He held the other, and Tubbo held him. He felt the end of Ranboo's tail drape over his leg.

With a delicate tone and worn vocal chords, he quietly, and simply, admitted. “I'd love that. I'd really love that. Living with you three.”

Tubbo tightened his hold.

That night, Tommy fell asleep not alone, but with his two other closest people, his family. Safe, warm, with that insistent nagging at the back of his chest cavity, that told him he was alone, that he was wrong about himself, that he never even knew himself at all, finally silenced.

He had never felt more at home.

[satorinni]

𝕞𝕦𝕥𝕖

track 18: feelings?

Kenma has never really been a people person. Yeah, over the years he’s gotten better with ‘human interaction’ , but he would still prefer to be alone. There were very few people whose company he didn’t mind, and recently he had been contemplating whether you should be added to the list. Though that idea has been teetering in and out of his mind given the fact you two hadn’t actually hung out in person.  Actually, save for the one pants-less interaction, neither of you had ever been in the same room together. But still, he kinda likes you. More than a friend, he’d like to think. Though the idea scared the fuck out of him, he would actually like to take you on a real date. One that didn’t result in your dinner being up in flames. 

Maybe he’d even take you to a cutesy café in Tokyo. Like the one he was currently sitting in. Eating apple pie. Across from a girl. A girl who definitely wasn’t you. 

“Honestly, I don’t know why you didn’t just become a model.” After the photoshoot, Etsuko insisted on getting a bite to eat. Something about wanting to catch up because it’s been a whole year. He didn’t really understand why, he knew for a fact Kuroo called her every time something juicy happened to him. Whatever that meant. Besides, he couldn’t turn down a slice of his favorite food.

“Because wearing stupid clothes and standing in front of a camera for hours is not my ideal career, ‘Tsuko.” He took another bite of what was left of his slice. He’s glad he chose to sit in a booth away from the windows, he had already been recognized twice on the way here. It’s why he did his best to avoid walking through the city. Especially dressed like this.

“C’mon, Kenmaaaa, the button up is cute. You look like a businessman.” She snorts through her smoothie straw. 

“I am a businessman. I’m quite literally a CEO.” He gives her a deadpan stare before taking a sip from his own milkshake. “I don’t know how your rooster boy manages to wear this stupid getup 24/7. I’m suffocating in these slacks.” He’d been pulling at the tight-fitting pants all day, but the magazine suggested he look professional for the shoot.

“What’s the matter, Kenma? Too much junk in the front?” Etsuko wiggles her eyebrows at him. She always did have the dirtiest mind. 

“Gross, ‘tsuko.” He squints at her and shakes his head. 

“Speaking of your little fella, when was the last time you got laid, baby boy?” Despite her suggestive tone, Kenma knew she was genuinely curious. She was the one who told him what sex was anyway. Gross, he shudders at the memory. 

“Is that an offer, ‘Tsuko?” He knew it wasn’t, and he knew even if it was the answer would be no, but he was deflecting. 

“Only if you let me post it on the hub.” She winks at him and slurps at her empty cup for emphasis. “Quit deflecting, Kenma, I heard about your lil boo thang.” She cracks up at her own joke and asks the waiter for a refill. 

Kenma scrunches his nose in disgust. “Don’t call her that.” Yeah, you guys weren’t dating, and yeah, you probably didn’t even know he liked you, but still. 

“Look at you, defending her honor, how sweet.” She mockingly shakes her head at every word. “I heard you stole her from little rooster boy.” She leans in towards him, like it was some big secret.

“Of course he exaggerated that, he’s the one who set her food on fire. Besides, she texted me first.” He recounts the way he freaked the fuck out when he saw you texted him. His demeanor was always more calm over the internet, probably why he had millions of fans, but he was still an antisocial wreck IRL.

“Ahh, so she’s ballsy, huh. Who knew little Kenma liked bold girls? Tell me about her.” She leans her head into her palm. To anyone else she would’ve dropped it already, losing interest. But this was Kenma, she was always poking her nose into his business. 

“She’s a med student, same age as me. Friend of a friend, I guess. “ He shrugs. He figured that would keep her dormant enough to change the subject. 

“You got yourself a smarty pants. Cute, but that’s not what I wanted to know.” She raises her eyebrow at him. “Do you like her? Is this just a hump and dump? You gonna marry her?” Her eyes got wider with every question, it kinda freaked him out. 

Damn, he thought he could dodge it, but Etsie has always been super pushy. “I don’t know. I mean I'm definitely not gonna hit it & quit it. I haven’t even hung out with her for real.  And dude, I’m 23, m’not thinking about marrying anyone at the moment.” He held his breath and figured that was enough. He was not ready to admit it out loud yet.

“Ah ah ah, you skipped a question, baby boy.” She gives him a devilish grin and leans in even closer. “I won’t tell a soul.”

Okay, even if she was a bit much, Etsuko never spilled Kenma’s secrets. To anyone. Not even Kuroo. But it wasn’t that he didn’t trust her. It was just... Was he ready to admit he had feelings? It's only been a few months, and he hadn’t even spoken to you in person. So what if he texted and called you 24/7? Wouldn’t it be too early? You’d probably be freaked out if he went ahead and confessed his feelings so early on. 

Ah, fuck it. 

“Yeah, ‘Tsuko. I like her. Like a lot. She’s funny as hell, smart as shit, and she gets me. Plus she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. Like, prettier than you.” He knows that would probably offend any other girl, but he was only ever straight up with ‘Tsuko.

“EEK!” Etsuko lets out a pig squeal that has other customers staring in confusion. She balls her fists up and starts shaking aggressively. “My baby boy has a crush! EEK! I’m so proud of you.” She leans over the whole table and grabs Kenma’s face, placing a loud kiss on his forehead. 

He flicks her forehead and smiles. “Shut up, it’s not like this is the first crush I’ve ever had.”

“I take pride in being your first crush, little bro.” She places her hand on her chest in mock pain, but the grin on her face exposes itself. 

“When you put it like that it sounds like incest. I was 8, you weirdo. ” Both were true, when Kenma first met Etsuko he developed a crush on her. (Mostly because she was the only girl who he’d ever interacted with.) It only lasted a month anyway; he eventually got annoyed with how much her and her brother were at his house. Now, after 15 years of being stuck with Kuroo, Kenma could only ever see them both as the siblings he never had. 

“Still, I was your first love, Kenma.” She looks off dramatically into the distance, as if she was having a flashback.

“You’re gay.” The smirk on his face gives off his slight amusement with her stupidly dramatic antics. 

“Now, “ She slams her hands on the table, causing more people to stare and the silverware to rattle, “Aren’t you going to ask me about my lovelife?” 

“No, I don’t care.” He snorts at the hurt look on her face. 

“Well, my girlfriend is doing WONDERFUL, Kozume Kenma, thanks for asking.” She crosses her arms and sticks her nose in the air.

“Yeah, whatever, you’re paying.” He pulls out his phone to see if there are any texts from you. On cue, the notification on his phone displays your name. He grins down at the unopened text, not even bothering to hide his happiness from Etsuko. 

Mid-rant about how he should pay because he’s got all the money, she stops and stares at him. A soft smile appears on her face, a swell of pride shoots through her. She only ever saw Kenma as a baby brother, and was genuinely happy for his growth over the years. 

Suddenly, Kenma’s phone flashes with your contact, a facetime call from you. 

“I gotta take this.” He moves to sit up, but looks up at Etsuko at the last second. 

She grins and nods towards the door. 

“Go get em, tiger.”

𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: kozume kenma x medstudent!f!reader

𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥: send an ask to be added!

𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤: enroute to being a neurosurgeon, y/n l/n doesn’t have time for fun, let alone dating. after her friends set her up on a blind date gone wrong, she comes face 2 face with none other than her date’s best friend. her world flips on axis, and suddenly she has no idea how her brain works, or love-at-first-sight.

𝕒/𝕟: this was probably rlly poorly written LMFOAD

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[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 14

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

She’d find some excuse about missing evidence or statements to call him back in, or something along those lines. He was too good a catch to let him escape, and she wasn’t prepared to allow that to happen. And Dinah Madani, as anyone who knew or worked with her soon found out, was one very determined lady.

The weekend following the op, Dinah had literally just sat and wallowed in her apartment, several bottles of wine, takeout and the TV being her only companions. She stewed and stewed about the Russo Situation, as her mind categorised it. She really wasn’t going to let this lie, she was the one who should be with him.

By Wednesday morning, Dinah was sitting in her office scrolling through various witness statements again on her laptop, tapping her pen impatiently on the desk as she did. She’d spent the last two days scrutinising them.

Her mind was working overtime, trying to come up with a plausible excuse for calling Russo back in. It had to be cast-iron, otherwise her co-workers and possibly Russo would smell a rat. She started reading through an eyewitness report from just prior to the shooting; this one might do, as it mentioned seeing Russo (‘tall guy in a black army outfit’) raising his gun just before one of her team had actually shot the guy. She might be able to say she needed him to go over his exact movements at that point, as she didn’t think it had been described in micro-detail in his own statement.

Her internal phone rang, and she grabbed the receiver - it was her boss, the Special Agent in Charge or SAC. “Sir?” His gruff voice sounded annoyed, “Can you come to my office, please?” She frowned, “I’m just going over the -“ but he cut her off, “Now, Madani!” “Of course,” she replied, putting the phone down and getting up from her desk. What’s got his panties in a bunch, she thought as she left her office and headed along the corridor to his.

She knocked and heard a terse “Come in!” and entered his office. One look at his beetroot face made her wish she’d been out on a call somewhere. His blood pressure only ever got this high if some really big boulder of shit had come rolling down the hill and dropped on him.

“Siddown,” he grunted, and waited until she was sitting opposite him. He heaved a big sigh, interlacing his fingers as he placed his hands on the desk in front of him, then stared across at her.

“Dinah... I’ve received two official complaints about you.” She gaped at him. Definitely hadn’t been expecting that.

“What? Who from?!!!” she demanded. He exhaled a breath; even he’d noticed Dinah’s ‘heart-eyes’ for this guy. She wasn’t going to like this.

“Billy Russo, and a friend of his.”

“Oh, let me guess!” She said a name, “That’s his ‘friend’, isn’t it?!” He nodded, “Yes. They both allege that you acted in an unprofessional manner during the case which has just been closed.”

“Unprofessional, how exactly?” she questioned him. His beetroot face went an even more vibrant shade of red, and he cleared his throat, “Russo alleges that you made unwanted sexual advances to him, and that you... uhhh, you engaged in an act of voyeurism while he was having sexual relations with his girlfriend.”

Dinah felt a flush spreading over her face, and she huffed out a breath. “And her? What did she have to add to the mix?” He held her angry gaze, “She said you carried out a totally unnecessary interview with her, solely to obtain information about her relationship with Russo.” She couldn’t stop herself from spitting out, “Huh! Relationship!”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “Dinah, you do seem to be rather more.... interested in Russo than the casework would require? Did you engage in a personal relationship with him during the course of the case?” She crossed her arms over her chest, “No! Well, yes.... to an extent! He took me out for lunches a couple of times and drinks one night, but that’s as far as it went!” More’s the pity, supplied her brain.

“Well, Dinah, I can’t sweep this under the carpet I’m afraid, as they’ve made the complaints official. Their statements have been made and filed with Professional Standards.”

Her eyebrows rose, and for the first time, a sliver of trepidation made its way into her mind. “I see. I didn’t realise it had already been fast-tracked to them.” He shook his head, “Not fast-tracked, Dinah - just following standard procedure. They came in to speak to PS yesterday, and they’ve just contacted me as your line manager to make me - and in turn, you - aware that the complaint’s been filed.” She chewed the inside of her lip; she was having a hard time getting her head around the fact that only two days after he’d come to the final briefing, he’d returned to the office and filed this complaint.

“PS will be in touch with you to arrange a formal hearing to investigate the complaint. They’ll give you a copy of the statements made, and you’ll be able to have an advisor with you.” He looked down at his hands, before meeting her eyes again, “I’m sorry this has happened, Dinah, but it has and things have just got to take their course. I’m not going to suspend you but for the moment, until this is resolved you’ll be on desk duties only.”

Her mouth tightened, but she gave him a brief nod and managed to say almost civilly, “Yes, sir.” He leant back in his chair, “Okay, that’s all for now.” She got up abruptly and left the office, making sure she didn’t slam the door. Although she really, really, wanted to.

She walked back to her office, this unexpected development turning over and over in her mind. She carefully closed her office door, but then kicked her desk viciously, her anger boiling over. This was obviously her idea, thought Dinah, it’s got to be! She just didn’t see Billy as a complaint-filing kinda guy.

Well, his little lady friend would soon find out she picked the wrong woman to fuck with!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy’s eyes opened slowly, and he stretched his arms and legs fully out, yawning. His right hand met empty space - he was by himself in the bed. He sat up and pushed the covers back, leaning over the side of the bed and grabbing his boxer briefs off the floor.

He got up and pulled them on before wandering through to his living area.... ah, there she was. Making coffee and toast for them. Moving silently up behind her like the sniper he was, he grabbed hold of her then burst out laughing as she gave a small shriek.

“Russo! You sneaky bastard, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” His mouth went to the spot behind her ear and he placed a small kiss there, before suddenly licking the entire side of her face. “Russo!” she yelled again, but he heard a small laugh at the end of it. “Mornin’, angel.” He started peppering kisses all over her face and neck, and she laughed again, “Do you want this coffee or not?!” and then just managed to grab a slice of the toast as it came flying out of the toaster. He grabbed it out of her hand and started looking around for the butter and a knife.

“Yeah okay, sweetheart, let’s have our coffee an’ toast. It’s just I didn’t get my Thursday mornin’ kiss when I woke up,” he pouted over at her. She grinned at him, “Oh my god, you know you really are the sappiest of big saps! I’m just not gonna stop calling you out on that. Big bad Marine, yeah right.”

He reached for her and crushed her up against the the worktop, kissing her ferociously and running his hands all over her. He could hear her making little mewling sounds so he upped the ante, sliding his briefs down with one hand, then grabbed her hips and boosted her up onto the counter. He pushed her long t-shirt (actually his t-shirt) up over her thighs and slid his hard-on inside her. He felt her legs wrapping themselves around his waist, pulling him closer to her and settling him in. Billy closed his eyes, head going back at the feeling of being sheathed inside her. He felt like he was losing control of himself, he wanted her so much. He began thrusting, wildly, pushing deep inside her - his brain told him he was going at it like a teenage boy on his first sexual adventure - but he couldn’t stop himself.

Suddenly, he felt himself releasing and gave a long disappointed groan, his forehead dropping onto her shoulder. “Uhhhh... no,” he groaned again, kissing her, “Sorry, angel - got too excited. Couldn’t hold it.”

She leant forward and kissed him, “No need to apologise, tiger... happens to the best of them.” He frowned, “But not to me, sweetheart,” stroking her hair back and kissing her eyebrow, “that’s a first! What are you doin’ to me, woman?!” He had seriously never come so quickly in his life. Thinking back to when he lost his virginity - 15 years old in the group home with one of the older girls - he remembered that even then he’d lasted longer. Not much longer, but still.

He smiled at her, “You know I think I am whipped,” he said, laughing.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Laughing back at him, she jumped down off the counter and ripped a couple of paper towels off the roll next to the toaster. Dampening them under the tap, she handed one to Billy and they quickly cleaned themselves up. He eased his briefs back up over his slightly damp thighs, and noticed she was going through the lower cupboards. “What’ya lookin’ for, sweetheart?” She opened another cupboard door and peered inside it, “Clorox or whatever....” He opened the cupboard door under the sink and took out a spray bottle, handing it to her with a raised eyebrow.

“Gonna disinfect yourself, angel?” he smirked at her, “I mean I know what my rep was like in the past, but I always wore a condom.” She smacked the bottle against his butt, “Just the countertop, honey... we’ve just had sex on it if you recall!” “Owww! Ahh...okay, right,” he nodded, and she grinned back at him, “I can see I’ve still got some house-training to do for my puppy.” He mock-frowned and smacked her ass lightly, “Not a puppy, sweetheart!”

“I don’t know why you object to that, Billy - puppies are cute!” He popped the toast slices back in the toaster to reheat them a bit, “Puppies piss and shit all over the place and dry-hump people’s legs!” She burst out laughing, “Wow! I didn’t realise you were so puppy-phobic, Russo!” “I’m not! I just don’t want to be compared to one,” he protested. She finished spraying the counter and wiped it all down.

Leaning up, she kissed him softly, “Oh okay... Hurt Male Ego alert!! What d’you wanna be, poppet... a tiger?” She went back to attending to the coffee. “Well, you did call me tiger earlier, so yeah - I can live with that,” he grinned. “I might just call you poppet.” He nudged his shoulder against hers, “You’d better not.” She brandished to coffee pot at him, “Try and stop me!” Just then, Billy heard his phone chime in the bedroom with a new text message.

He strolled back through there and picked it up, his mouth pulling into a line as he saw the sender’s name.

Dinah: Russo, I don’t know what game you think you’re playing, but I want to speak to you about this complaint you’ve filed.

Russo: I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Dinah: You owe me an explanation.

Russo: Do I? And an explanation about what? It’s quite straightforward.

Dinah: No it isn’t. You meet me tomorrow at the Chelsea Piers, 10 AM. Then you’ll be nice and close to your little girlfriend and you can go running back to her afterwards.

Ouch, thought Billy, someone’s still jealous.

Russo: OK I’ll meet you for a 5-minute talk and that’s it.

Dinah: And keep this to yourself, Russo.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy walked back through to the kitchen, tapping his phone on his chin as he went, deep in thought. Did he tell her about this, or just keep quiet? He couldn’t work out why Madani was so insistent on an actual meeting. His gut told him nothing good could come from this, he just knew it. He wasn’t absolutely sure of the details, but he was under the impression that Madani should not be in contact with him when there was an active complaint against her. He’d better be damn careful when they met tomorrow.

She’d finished pouring the coffee and buttering the toast and turned to him with a wide smile as he reappeared, holding out a plate and cup to him, “Here you go, poppet.” He took them from her, smiling back and shaking his head, “Poppet! Do I really look like a ‘poppet’?!” he said, following behind her as they left the kitchen area. He leant forward and planted an open-mouthed kiss on her neck. “You look like a big sap,” she laughed back, “but a very sex-ceeee one in just your briefs,” and rubbed her body up against him, making him groan.

As they made their way over to his sofa, he thought to himself that maybe he’d just stay silent about it, his angel was in a good mood and he didn’t want to place a black cloud over the day. Both of them had decided to have a day off from work, he had plans for the two of them and he didn’t want to spoil it all. He made up his mind as he looked over at her, she was smiling at him and his stomach did a backflip as it had been doing a lot lately.

Yeah, he’d just not mention it.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead

[filipinoizukuu]

I have the notebook in hand now I beg you for explanation

HSBFNDSJNFVN my dearest snail oh jeez 😭 i have about maybe dozens of stories about accidentally being y/n, so i'm prayin and hopin none of my IRLs see this. Some details hidden for privacy.

LONG story ahed, so be warned.

-

So. End of winter to early spring about a year before COVID-19. I was still a little snot-nosed high schooler hanging out with my friends and generally being a nuisance upon society. For those of you that have never seen me in real life, the first thing you need to know was that I was adorable, female-presenting, and had the appearance of a goody-two-shoes star student down to a T.

Now, the second thing you need to know is about my friend group and how a majority of them were guys.

I'm not talking about like, darling boy-next-doors and fellow star-student nerds. I'm talking about teenage boys. GUYS guys. Rowdy and wrestling in the hallways, getting into fights, and pulling (harmless) pranks on each other kind of guys. The gross type because I love my friends but even I can admit they're kind of gross.

One day after school, we're hanging out in someone's truck on the way to a get-together. There are about four of us just chilling, me being the only girl. Someone's phone goes off and we look to see one of us pick up his phone.

Now, this friend, let's call him S.

S picks up the phone and starts talking to it. We hear bits and pieces of the conversation and he sounds a little nervous. He puts the phone down and looks at us with a weird expression and says he needs to get home.

"What gives, S?" we ask, slouching in our seats and drinking sweet tea, like all other self-respecting teenage hooligans. "Who was that?"

S explains to us very carefully that he just got off the phone with his auntie and that she wants to have a sit-down and dinner with him. We coo and make fun of him a little and acquiesce, driving on over to his place to drop him off and embarrass him in front of his parents as friends do. We tell him as much when S lights up and looks at us like he just got the world's best idea.

(Heads up! It was not.)

"Guys! I have a better idea."

The rest of us look at each other. "Which is...?"

"What if I pretend to have a girlfriend to impress my Aunt?"

Record scratch. Pause. I suddenly remember that I am the only pretty 'ole lady in this small and stuffy truck. In an instant, all eyes on the vehicle are on me.

No, hell no. I think to myself, there's no way I'm ever going to do this. This is how every fanfic starts and I am absolutely not emotionally available enough to do this. And you know what? That's exactly what I should've said.

Instead, what came out of my mouth was this:

"Buy me a tub of ice cream and I'm all yours."

And thus, the devil's deal was sealed.

Minutes later, we're exiting the truck and looking over at S's white picket fence and perfectly maintained garden. S goes with me and I suck it up, bracing myself for the performance of my lifetime. We do not hold hands and our other friend (E) walks behind us while dying of laughter. S opens the door and we are immediately greeted by the sight of his kind-looking Auntie welcoming him with open arms.

S waltzes in.

"Auntie... this is my girlfriend, Codi."

Now, a quick word about me and how I was in real life at the point of this story. I looked the part of an adorable overachieving student, and while my grades did match up, my attitude sure as hell didn't. I'm naturally a very loud and boisterous person. I 'get into fights' and curse just as well as the rest of them. I had a reputation in a few areas for having the knack of making my underclassmen cry. The point being, I wasn't a saint.

But I was a damn good actor.

"Hi Auntie!" I greet with the peppiest and highest voice I could manage. I skip towards her and shake her hand, smiling like a cracked-up cheerleader in a Coca-Cola ad from the '80s when they made it with actual cocaine. "Your nephew S is just about the sweetest thing ever. He's so nice and smart and I'm incredibly lucky to have him!" I lie through my teeth.

In the background, I can hear E on the verge of deranged cackling while S just stands there and coughs into his fist like an emotionally constipated tuberculosis patient.

My Limit of the Day has been reached, so I shoot Auntie S a quick grin when she enthusiastically thanks me for my services and then haul my ass out their door, E hot on my heels. We leave S behind to deal with whatever shitstorm came after and I tried my best to not look back.

The moment the old truck door slams shut behind us, E abso-fucking-lutely loses it, guts busting with how much he's laughing. We high-tail it to the get-together and I make him swear up and down to not mention it for the rest of the day. It's over, at this point, the thing's been done and there's no other damage than my sanity and maybe S's relationship with his aunt. At least, that is what I thought.

Hours later, S texts me.

hey so um. remember that thing earlier?

Odd question, because how could I not?

yeah so. my aunt stayed for dinner and my parents arrived early and they asked me about school so. long story short... my whole family thinks we're dating.

Predictably, I lose my mind. I ask myself how I got into this situation and then imagine the sweet, sweet ice cream waiting for me at the end of this ride. I'm like, okay! This isn't so bad! It's actually really funny if I think about it enough. At least it's contained, right? I say my famous last words. It's not like I'll ever actually meet his family again.

So I go to bed and decidedly Pass Go, Collect $200 on any fanfics or other friendly drama that night.

The next week, I walk into school. I'm going about my normal business when I bump into my friend group. They pounce on me like a hound of dogs, making rounds of congratulations with varying faces of amusement. "What?" I go, like an oblivious idiot.

From like 15 feet down the hall, a familiar figure turns the corner and I lock eyes with him. Something clicks into place and I realize that there were actual witnesses to S's convoluted brownie-points shenanigan that I didn't consider.

"E," I say. "you are so fucking dead."

My friend group, who E had apparently told about my whole schtick as S's Rent-a-Girlfriend, breaks out into laughter and dodges as I power-walked my way to kick E's shins with the fury of a thousand 5'3 suns.

We went about the rest of our day until it hit lunch break, and of course who else to apparently wait for me in front of my class other than S himself.

S grabs me by the wrist and pulls me along throughout the campus. We're lightly conversing the whole time, me weaseling a time and date to my beloved reward tubs of ice cream as promised. Without me realizing it, we end up in front of two very familiar rooms.

Another thing, really quickly, about this whole storyline. S was not just an ordinary friend, you see. He was special, in a way, in such that his two closest friends were my crush (at the time) and his best friend who I'd recently rejected. Now those two have a whole 'nother story on their own which I'd deign to discuss publically, so you'll have to settle for those apt descriptions.

So, those two aforementioned mutual friends of ours walk out of those rooms and turn to make eye contact with us. They laugh, good-naturedly, and I sigh in relief because it seems that of all people, E had not gotten the hot gossip to them just yet.

I beckon the two of them over, being none the wiser and thinking we could take our break together when the final straw hits

S throws his arm over my shoulders and pulls me closer.

"Hey guys, Codi's my girlfriend now!"

... You can guess where the argument fits now in this timeline.

(I got my ice cream very shortly after. We're all friends now and it's all water under the bridge! This was a long story so if you've made it this far, just know that this is all but a funny memory to look back on for me and I've since moved on.)

[prettyboylovemail]

Ya know what? I usually try to stay out of drama and discourse, but this is going way too far. I might very well lose followers for this, but I really don’t care. What I care about is making this community a safe and accepting place for everyone. And after watching people get chased out of the community for having ““controversial”“ f/os, I’ve decided that I don’t want to sit back and be silent anymore.

Let me just get straight to the point.

Creating AUs where characters are different ages than canon doesn’t make you a pedophile.

I’m going to say this very clearly: No, I do not support pedophilia in any way. No, I do not support shipping characters who are children with characters who are adults. No, I do not support the sexualization of children in fictional media. And no, I am not attracted to children, fictional or otherwise.

However. Being attracted to a fictional character who is 16-17 years old (and who is drawn to look older to appeal to a wider audience) does NOT make you a pedophile. There is a stark difference in being attracted to an actual child/minor in real life and being attracted to a drawing that is labeled 16-17 years old, but looks 18-20. And there isn’t anything wrong with altering your S/I’s age to be closer to theirs or altering your F/O’s age to be closer to yours. (This doesn’t include adults who selfship with actual children 10-14 yrs old without changing their ages. That would be a major problem.)

While, personally, I don’t have any official F/Os that are under 18 (besides Satoshi and Ryo, as they are 17 at the beginning, but they grow older as the series progresses). But there are still plenty of characters who catch my eye and I have little crushes on who are “high-school age” in their respective media. Does that mean I have a thing for younger boys? Absolutely NOT.

But fictional characters don’t age. They will continue to be 16/17 forever unless they age within their story.

I have plenty of AUs where my S/I is in high school with the characters I like, or aged down a couple years to be closer in age with them if need be. There’s literally nothing wrong with that. Especially since y’all want to have a double standard and say “It’s okay for young selfshippers to ship with characters twice their age because it’s normal to crush on older people! It’s fine if you change your age then! :)” But as soon as an older selfshipper says “I’ve liked this character since I was 16 and now I’m 20, but I want my S/I to stay 16 with them,” suddenly everyone just doesn’t care what they have to say and slap them with a label and make them feel like shit for having feelings.

I’ve seen my mutuals and friends reblog posts that say things like “It’s not that hard to just drop a character once you’re an adult. I don’t care that you’ve had feelings for them since you were 15, you’re an adult now and its your responsibility to put an end to it.” Literally fuck off. Y’all know it’s not that easy to just decide you can’t love a character anymore once you turn 18. Some of the characters on my F/O List (especially my mains) have been characters that I’ve loved and crushed on since I was 15. Thankfully, they are all over 18, so I don’t have to worry about it. But there are a few characters that I still love a lot that I’ve loved for years and I will still continue to love them for many more years. I used to have a big crush on Tamaki Suoh from Ouran when I was 14-15 years old. I’m almost 23 now, and while I don’t selfship with him officially. I still have a crush on him. I still find him attractive and I still swoon when I rewatch Ouran and see him being flirtatious onscreen. That’s because he’s designed to appeal to women of all ages. He’s supposed to appeal to teenage girls and he’s also designed to appeal to young women too. Heck, they even acknowledge that IN UNIVERSE. He’s a character that’s super close to my heart and me still loving and caring about him years later does not make me a pedophile.

You guys aren’t “making this community a safe space for children” by posting and reblogging these callout and discourse posts. You’re creating an environment where adults are terrified of being falsely labeled as a pedo and being “cancelled” for having feelings for a character that they’ve cared about for years. You’re creating an environment where 23 year olds are constantly looking over their shoulders and worrying that they will be hated for shipping themselves with a character who is 18 because of the “age gap” (yes, I’ve seen that exact thing happen thanks to y’all).

TLDR: Liking fictional characters who are 16/17 years old when you are 18+ and aging them up/yourself down accordingly does NOT make you a pedophile. Fictional characters are not IRL minors. These two are not the same thing. Just because you have a crush on a 16/17 year old in a fictional media does NOT mean you are attracted to real life minors. Stop labeling people on the internet and forcing them out of the community over shit like this and worry about actual real life issues.

[the-queer-observer]

The TOXICITY of straight dating culture: Do you even realize what you teach?

A few months ago, a straight teenage girl explained her crush to me with the sentence “He’s so toxic.”

I know a 17-year-old girl with a little to no clue of how a non-toxic relationship should look like.

I started noticing a certain pattern online and in my real life too.

Now it’s a time for my first disclaimer: I am not straight myself. Nope. Not at all. Perhaps that’s why I see through it.

To this point, all I have done about this is that I have complained to some friends, got over it and went on with my life.

Today, a girl, no older than twelve, has told me about her crush on a “bad boy” and we talked about him for a second. He really did seem like what the definition of a bad boy is for tweens.

I snapped.

And here I am, writing my first tumblr post ever on this very topic.

I want to make clear, this is not an attack on those girls. This is an attack on the society, what it taught them and what it failed to teach.

The youngest girl and me, we talked about music. She said she liked “dramatic” songs and played me some of her favorites.

Disclaimer number two: I did know both the artists, but I don’t actually listen to them. The closest to mainstream music my playlists get is Take me to church by Hozier, the rest being a wide range of songs, interprets and genres from pop punk to death metal and everything in between.

I was actually surprised. One of the two artists she played for me was Billie Eilish. The beginning of the song went:

Don't be cautious, don't be kind

You committed, I'm your crime

Push my button anytime

You got your finger on the trigger

But your trigger finger's mine

The second song was by Maroon 5.

It was even worse:

So what you trying to do to me

It's like we can't stop, we're enemies

But we get along when I'm inside you, eh

You're like a drug that's killing me

I cut you out entirely

But I get so high when I'm inside you

Yeah you can start over you can run free

You can find other fish in the sea

You can pretend it's meant to be

But you can't stay away from me

I can still hear you making that sound

Taking me down rolling on the ground

You can pretend that it was me

But no, oh

I am not going to argue about whether it’s appropriate or whether she understands the lyrics the way I do. It doesn’t even matter. She understands the drama in the song. She understands it enough for me to be concerned.

There are other songs like that. There is a whole culture teaching pre-teen and teenage girls, that “they can’t get away”, romanticizing toxic people and toxic relationships, blurring the lines of consent and guess what? The girls believe it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

I texted my girlfriend and we spent some time looking for straight love-songs, celebrating healthy relationships. None of them were mainstream, but we found things like:

That the world is ugly

But you're beautiful to me

Are you thinking of me

Like I'm thinking of you

I would say I'm sorry, though

Though I really need to go

I just wanted you to know

I wanted you to know

I wanted you to know

I'm thinking of you every night, every day

(My Chemical romance)

And

Desperate for changing

Starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started

I'm chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking

Completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation

You take all of me now

(Lifehouse)

First of all: Those are 4 extracts of songs, chosen by me to demonstrate my point and they may or may not reflect the reality, you (the reader) see: those two songs might be just an exception, but in that case this post is still not canceled, because there is enough of other correlations and causation for me to have a reason to write this.

Those songs are “dramatic”, but the drama shifts from the relationship itself and its toxicity to the circumstances and environment. My girlfriend even recommended a punk song called Ne touche pas moi (Do not touch me), which is entirely about consent.

I am not explicitly saying that the songs she played for me are bad. It’s not for me to decide.

But all Billie Eilish’ fans I ever met were in the age range between eleven and fourteen, so I am supposing that’s her target audience. As for Maroon 5, I have no idea. However, music influences us. The girl is old enough to know what kind of music she likes and wants to listen to and with the peer pressure going on there, her parents do not really have a say in what she listens to and they are not to be blamed for this.

It’s the culture.

Toxicity is not a positive trait to look for in a potential partner. Even if he is a good looking one.

Enough of music.

Do you know who the toxic crush was?

Draco Malfoy.

One of the most famous of all characters in media, famously portrayed by Tom Felton in the Harry Potter film series.

Disclaimer number four: I have a problem with the books and movies and I also have some issues with the author.

Still, I see a fandom celebrating the love of Severus Snape for Lilly Evans Potter. Except it’s not love and it’s not a crush either. It’s an obsession. One that has become so iconic, the word “Always” is one of the main symbols of Harry Potter.

It shouldn’t be.

It should have never happened.

Draco Malfoy is quite the same thing. He is a racist, a bully. He is raised to be one, sure... That’s not an excuse. He doesn’t actually have a canonical redemption arch (not counting the deleted scene from the last movie and the Cursed child). If he came up to Hermione, acknowledging his mistakes, apologizing for his behavior, then maybe. Perhaps... That’s another story though. My point is, Rowling fails to actually depict problematic characters as actually problematic, they are romanticized by her, the filmmakers, the fandom and the wider audience.

Girls are taught to be the ones to make the redemption arch happen, irl or in fiction. They are supposed to date whoever is into them, regardless of whether they like the person back, and it’s unbelievably often I see them crushing on villains and problematic people like Draco Malfoy, because they are taught, he would change for them or that they could change him.

Toxicity is not a positive trait to look for in a potential partner. Even if he is a good looking one.

Those together result in a complete lack of knowledge of how a healthy relationship should look like. That’s the case of the third girl I mentioned. Being best friends with both her and her current boyfriend, I had three points of view on their relationship. It’s only been the past few weeks, not more than two month it has shifted to a more positive, healthy relationship.

It’s not the girl’s fault. They learn what a healthy relationship is the hard way, mostly after going through a toxic one(s).

WHY?

The sentence: “I always fall for the bad guys.” lacks the essential: “because the society taught me to” part.

It’s so common.

It’s too common.

It’s not even that we wouldn’t talk about it: we do. But you celebrate it. And that is not okay and that is the reason I am typing this.

Disclaimer number 5: The gender roles in this post are based off of my observations. I do acknowledge the fact that girls can be and sometimes are the toxic person in the relationship and that the lesson boys are thought is no way better (more freeing perhaps, but not right either) . It might not be specific to the straight culture either, but again, my observations were.

I was about thirteen, when I figured out I was gay and I had to learn everything on my own. How the relationships should work out, what is healthy and what is not... I had to learn on my own because the society failed to teach me anything. I am yet to decide whether that’s better or worse than teaching the wrong one.

[mrsmarymorstan]

Now Furuba S2 is over, what now?

I’m already seeing a lot of people asking for recommendations now the S2 Sub is over; so this is a list of series that I think you’ll enjoy if you like Furuba! 

All platforms listed are true for the UK, but might not be for other residences. More viewing options may be available in other territories. 

Unless specified, All Manga/Comic recs are available from regular bookstores and EBook Stores. If you’re in the UK I’ll suggest checking out Hive, which is an online store where a potion of each sale goes towards a Local Independent Bookstroe of your choice! They also have flat-rate free shipping! 

Okay, so the actual recs! (I got lazy in some places and used the official synopisis) 

Romance

Convenience Store Boyfriends Funimation (Dub) Crunchyroll (Sub) 12 Eps Total 

“Six high school boys hang out at a local convenience store where they talk about their daily lives. Haruki Mishima and Towa Honda are first year students looking forward to the high school experience. Alongside them, there’s Nasa Sanagi, the only member of the cooking research club. Natsu Asumi is a loner but has third year students, Mikado Nakajima and Masamune Sakurakoji, looking out for him.“

Kaguya-sama: Love is War S1 - Crunchyroll, Funimation (Sub) S2 Funimation (Sub/Dub) 24 eps - Ongoing Manga: 18/20 volumes available in English 

“Known for being both brilliant and powerful, Miyuki Shirogane and Kaguya Shinomiya lead the illustrious Shuchiin Academy as near equals. And everyone thinks they’d make a great couple. Pride and arrogance are in ample supply, so the only logical move is to trick the other into instigating a date! Who will come out on top in this psychological war where the first move is the only one that matters?”

Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun Netflix (Dub/Sub), Crunchyroll (Sub) 12 Eps Total Manga: 12/12 volumes available in English 

“High school student Chiyo Sakura has a crush on schoolmate Umetarou Nozaki. When she confesses her love to him, he mistakes her for a fan and gives her an autograph. When she says she wants to be with him, he invites her to his house and has her help on some drawings. Sakura discovers that Nozaki is actually a renowned shōjo manga artist working under the pen name Sakiko Yumeno. She agrees to be his assistant in order to get closer to him. As they work on his manga Let's Fall in Love they encounter other schoolmates, who assist them and serve as inspirations for the story.”

Snow White With the Red Hair Funimation (Dub/Sub) 24 Eps Total Manga: 9/22+ volumes available in English. Anime ends Vol. 8 

“In the kingdom of Tanbarun lives an independent young pharmacist named Shirayuki. Shirayuki is a plain girl, save for her shock of beautiful apple-red hair. Her stunning mane gets her noticed by the prince, but instead of romancing her, he demands she be his concubine. Shirayuki chops off her lovely locks, and runs away to the neighboring kingdom where she befriends a handsome stranger.”

Tsuruedure Children Funimation (Dub), Crunchyroll (Sub) 12 Eps Total Manga (Ebook only) 12/12 Volumes available in English

“Short and charming comedic vignettes offer a quick glimpse into the unique and funny situations, misunderstandings, and all around confusion that can happen in a high school romance. For starters, there’s a story about a delinquent girl and the student council president, and one about a stoic boy confused about an emotional girl. Relive the charm of high school romance!”

Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku Amazon Prime (Sub) 11 Eps Total Manga: 4/9 volumes available in english 

Looking for a slice of life romance but you’re an actual adult now and don’t want to read about teenagers? Try Wotakoi! It combines office romance with childhood friends-to-lovers. Narumi is a Fujoshi who doesn’t want anyone to find out the truth of her ways, Hirotaka is a Game Otaku who doesn’t care what anyone says about it, together they go about the ins-and-outs of dating as an adult. 

Coming of Age

BOFURI: I don’t want to get hurt, so I’ll max out my defence Funimation (Dub/Sub) 12 Eps Ongoing 

“She may be new to gaming, but Maple has found the secret to invincibility! Just put all your skill points into defense until you can't even move. That works, right? She doesn't want to experience any pain in the VRMMO game she started playing, and somehow it works better than anyone expected. Now she's got followers??”

Brand New Animal Netflix (Dub/Sub) 12 Eps Total 

“Set in a world where humanoid animals (known as beastmen) inhabit Earth, the series centers on Michiru Kagemori, a young teenage girl who one day suddenly starts turning into a tanuki beastman. Running away, she seeks refuge in Anima City, a city built for beastmen to be able to live peacefully as themselves, and ends up meeting a wolf beastman named Shirou Ogami. Together, they investigate how and why Michiru became a beastman, becoming mixed up in even stranger events in the process.”

Hyouka Funimation (Dub/Sub) 23 Eps Total 

“A worthy addition to any animation fan's collection, Hyouka is a stunning masterwork that spins a charming tale of high school romance and mystery. After disenchanted student Hotaro Oreki joins his school’s Classic Lit Club, he meets Eru Chitanda, a kindhearted and inquisitive girl with boundless curiosity and a knack for getting him caught up in all sorts of trouble.”

Koto Oto Tomara! Sounds of Life Funimation (Dub/Sub) 24 Eps Total 

“Down to its last member, the koto club will accept anyone who is interested in the traditional Japanese instrument. But when a delinquent and a prodigy player sign up, finding harmony isn’t going to be easy—especially not with ensemble competitions looming around the corner. With enough time and some incredible skill at the strings, perhaps this motley crew can strike a chord with the judges.“

O Maidens in your Savage Season HIDIVE (Dub/Sub) 12 Eps Total Manga: 7/8 volumes available in English (8th available for pre-order) 

The series follows a High School Literature club as they make their nervous first foray into the nature of sexuality. What is the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction? Does watching porn mean wanting to have sex? What are these strange feelings I am having down below? Why are boys so gross and girls so pretty? Each girl undergoes their own journey and finds their own destination, a brutally honest yet heart warming look at teenage female sexuality. 

CW: Sexual Assault, pedophilia (both portrayed as BAD AND TERRIBLE things) 

Our Dreams at Dusk Manga: 4/4 volumes available in English 

IF YOU ONLY CONSUME ONE THING ON THIS LIST MAKE IT THIS!!!!! The series is the VERY DEFINITION of “It Gets Better”. 

After his classmates discover some gay pornography on his phone, Tasuku Kaname contemplates committing suicide. Just as he’s about to jump, he spots a mysterious figure parkouring down a mountain. Shocked out of his moment, he decides to go and investigate what’s happening and finds an LGBT+ Drop In Centre. The series follows the lives of the people in the drop in centre, from Haruko who wishes to marry her closeted girlfriend, to Misora who is still trying to figure out what their gender is but has the threat of puberty hovering of their shoulder. 

It’s very clear that Kamatani-sensei has written this story FOR the Queer Community. It’s a truly beautiful story. Please give it your money if you can, so that Kamatani-sensei can actually earn some money, and so that Seven Seas know that there is a viable audience for these stories! So that we may get more content!

Reverse Harem 

Fruits Basket is NOT a reverse Harem, but i figure there’ll be some fan crossover. 

Kiss Him, Not Me Cruncyroll (sub) Funimation Dub available on DVD etc. 12 Eps Total Manga 14/14 volumes available in English

“Kae Serinuma believes one thing—princes belong together! As an avid boy’s love fan, she loves nothing more than fantasizing about faux relationships between the boys at her school. But when she loses weight due to the stress of her favorite anime character dying suddenly the boys want…her?! From pretty average to prettiest girl, Kae just wants these boys to date each other, not her!”

Sub uses an irritating “Silly Fat Person” voice that the Dub doesn’t. CW for Sexual Assult, though it is depicted as a BAD thing and used for Kae to question why she is so into it when reading BL, when IRL it is terrifying? 

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom Crunchyroll (Dub/Sub) 12 Eps Total 

A TRULY Bisexual harem! After bumping her head, young Katarina Claes awakens with all the memories of her past life... and promptly realises she’s been re-incarnated as the antagonist of her favourite Otome Game! Determined this time to live past the age of 17, Katarina starts to make plans to turn all her enemies into allies through the power of kindness and understanding! Throughout the series, she tries harder and harder to avoid her doom flags... without realising that she’s turned those doom flags into romance flags! 

Katarina lives out the fantasy of going to magic school and eating cake as all the pretty people fall head over heels for her. A pity she’s too dim to notice.

Ouran High School Host Club Funimation (Dub/Sub) 24 eps total Manga: 18/18 volumes available in english 

Set in the high class elite private school of Ouran High, the Host Club exist to provide entertainment for the ladies of the school. Looking for a quiet place to study, Haruhi Fujioka, stumbles across the Host Club and in their haste to leave they knock over an ¥8,000,000 vase. Now she must earn that money back by working for the Host Club, all the while disguising the fact that she’s a girl. Not that she ever felt much like a girl before hand anyway. Along the way, she gets to know better the Cool Kyoya, the flamboyant Tamaki, the Mischievous Hikaru & Kaoru, the Strong and Silent Mori-senpai and the adorable Honey-senpai. Comedic Hijinks ensue! 

Slice of Life

The Emperor and I Manga: 4/4 volumes available in English on Shonen Jump App 

One day Kaho returns home from school to find an Emperor Penguin in her fridge. He quickly becomes a beloved part of the family, but a secret to the rest of the world who would want to take him away from them. Hijinks ensue. 

Kakushigoto Funimation (Dub/Sub) 12 Eps Total 

Doting single father, Kakushi Goto, is determined to hide the fact that he writes echhi humour manga for a living. He couldn’t bare it if his daughter were to ever find out the truth, the shame of his profession only alienating her. A laugh out loud series that will suddenly cut you deep as it explores the nature of grief and familial love. 

My Brother’s Husband Manga: 2/2 volumes available in English 

“Yaichi, a stay-at-home single father, lives with his daughter Kana in suburban Tokyo. They are visited by Mike Flanagan, the widower of Yaichi's estranged twin brother Ryōji, who has traveled from his native Canada for three weeks to learn about Ryōji's past. Kana is fascinated by Mike and is immediately accepting of him, though Yaichi is hesitant to accept Mike as family.

While Yaichi is not overtly homophobic, Mike suggests that his tacit discomfort over his brother's sexuality drove a wedge between them that led to their estrangement. Mike's interactions with the family and neighborhood over the subsequent three weeks prompt Yaichi to confront his own prejudices around sex and sexuality, as his growing tolerance and eventual acceptance of Mike parallel his overcoming of his own homophobia.”

Whilst the trope of “the gay brother dies and the heterosexual brother learns not to be homophobic” might be over done in western media, the same is not true for Japan. It’s a heartfelt and honest look at grief and acceptance, as well as how the nature of family is changing all around the world... but attitudes are maybe conservative attitudes aren’t as quick to catch up. 

Nichijou: My Ordinary Life Funimation (Dub/Sub) 

So apparently everyone went “this show is undubbable! It relies too much on puns and untranslatable humour!” and then Howard Wang said “hold my beer” and did it. A bizarre comedy series set in a high school. It’s probably best known for the ongoing fight between the deer and the principal.  

Way of the Househusband Manga: 4/5+ (ongoing) volumes available in English  

After he meets and marries the career driven Miku, Tatsu AKA The Immortal Dragon decides to give up his life of crime to commit to being the worlds’ best husband. You’d be surprised at the transferable skills between a Yakuza enforcer and a house husband. From knowing how to efficiently cut up a slice of meat, to how to perfectly clean a bathroom of all evidence. Hilarious and heartwarming, Taki and Kyoko would be best bros. 

Slice of Life + Supernatural 

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K S1 Funimation (Dub/Sub) 24 episodes Netflix S1 (Dub/Sub) S2 & 3 (Sub) 50 episodes total 

“Saiki Kusuo is a typical 16-year-old high school student… except he has psychic powers. He can use them to get whatever he wants, but he also knows everything that people are thinking. Everything. No surprises, no secrets, no normal human experiences. He’s kept his powers in check since childhood, but with the temptations of high school now on his mind, he’s bending the rules—and spoons.“

Sabrina The Teenage Witch (2019)

Writer Kelly Thompson wears her magical girl influences on her sleeve in this new take on the Archie Classic. Sabrina is your regular teenager, except she is also a witch and so are her aunts. Hijinks (and Card Captor Sakura References) ensue. 

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun Funimation (Dub/Sub) 12 eps total Manga 13/13 Volumes available in English 

“Kamome Academy is rumored to have many mysteries, the strangest of which involves the mischievous ghost of Hanako-kun. When occult-loving high schooler Nene Yashiro accidentally becomes bonded to him, she uncovers a hidden world of supernatural beings. Now the two of them are conspiring to keep the peace between student and supernatural—that is, if they can only stay out of trouble themselves.“

Jughead (2015) 4 Volumes total

Bought to you in various parts by the creators of Squirrel Girl, Jughead combines slice of life with spy thriller, time travel and the joy of a good burger. Hilarious and heart warming, this run holds a special place in my heart as the one where Jughead was confirmed as canonically asexual and continues to express various aro/ace moods throughout the series. There’s a REASON my friends say I’m a Real Life Jughead.... 

Weathering With You - available digitally/physically 28th Sep. 2019

In June 2021, first year high schooler Hodaka Morishima leaves Kōzu-shima in order to get to Tokyo. When his ferry to the city is hit by a rainstorm, he is saved by Keisuke Suga, who runs a small occult magazine that’s looking for an assistant. As Hodaka becomes broke and struggles to find work, he meets Hina Amano, an employee of a McDonald’s restaurant. She takes pity on him and gives him food. After agreeing to work with Suga, Hodaka learns about the legend of the “sunshine girl” who can control the weather! It turns out that the newly unemployed Hina is a sunshine girl! And with her little brother, they start up their own business to bring sunshine to the never-ending rain of Tokyo. 

Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches Crunchyroll (Dub/Sub) 12 Episodes Total Manga: 22/28 volumes available in English 

After tripping on the stairs, School Bad Boy Ryu Yamada and Top Student Urara Shiraishi discover they can swap bodies with a kiss! They then learn that they’re not the only ones with magic powers in the school, and with the help of the Supernatural Studies Club they begin to track down the identities of the 7 witches of Suzaku High. 

This series really stretches my limits on fan service, but at least it does proceed to get a little even in terms of gender. It’s still a really rather sweet and romantic series, once you get past the boobs and panties. 

Your Name Netflix (Dub/Sub) Spin Off Manga “Your Name: Another Side: Earthbound” - 2/2 volumes available in English 

A modern take on the Red Sting of Fate mythos, Mitsuha and Taki are two teenagers tied together. Three times a week, Mitsuha will wake up in Taki’s body and live the life of a Tokyo School boy. In turn, Taki will wake up in Mitsuha’s body and learn what it is to be a Rural Shrine Maiden. A look at the bonds that tie us, and how fate won’t let two young people fall apart before they can meet. 

Also the animation is BEAUTIFUL and it made me cry. Like a lot. There’s a spin off manga called “Your Name: Another Side” that follows the same story but from the POV of Mitsuha’s friends and family. It really brings new light to the events and made me very emotional.

Mental Health 

Green Lanterns: Rebirth (2018)

Jessica Cruz suffers from PTSD and severer anxiety, seeing her utalising her will power to overcome those problems and harness that energy to help save the universe is so incredibly powerful and moving. 

Hawkeye (2012-2015) 4 Volumes 

The Fraction/Aja/Wu/Hollingworth Hawkeye run is widely considered one of the best superhero runs of all time. Fraction and Aja perfectly capture “functional depression” at its finest, and we watch as Clint Barton slowly burns all his bridges before being forced by his friends to sort his shit out and put them back together again. There’s also a whole issue that’s primarily written in sign language too. 

My Roomate is a Cat Funimation (Dub) Crunchyroll (Sub) 12 eps total 

“Mystery author Mikazuki would rather live in total isolation than deal with others. Getting a roommate is the last thing he’d ever do, until a stray cat sparks an idea for his next novel. After plucking the little killer off the streets, this four-legged muse inspires Mikazuki in ways he would have never expected. And for the street-wise cat, this human just opened the door to a whole new world.”

A Silent Voice (Manga/Movie) Movie: Netflix (Dub/Sub) 

“A former class bully reaches out to the deaf girl he’d tormented in grade school. He feels unworthy of redemption but tries to make things right.”

CW Attempted Suicide, bullying

Please watch the dub. Lexi Marman Cowden, who voices Shoko, is an ACTUAL hard-of-hearing actress. It makes for a more real and vulnerable performance that avoids the mild ableism of the Sub hiring a Hearing Actress and robot-ising her voice. 

Yuri!!! On ICE Crunchyroll (Sub) Funimation (Dub) 12 eps total 

“Yuri Katsuki makes his way to the Grand Prix ice skating competition as Japan’s top representative with his eyes on the prize. However, instead of celebrating, Yuri walks away defeated and ready to retire for good. But a run-in with champion Viktor Nikiforov and rising star Yuri Plisetsky ignites a new fire within him. With the two of them close by his side, Yuri will take to the ice once more.”

Yuri’s defeat sends him into a very relatable spiral of lack of self belief that he slowly starts to regain thanks to the help of Viktor. Part sports anime, part love story, all full of feels. 

The Dub is considered hit or miss depending on whether you like accents or not, but honestly it’s worth it for Sabat’s Christophe giacometti. Ayame walked, so Christophe could strut. 

Generic 

I’m gonna start by recommending the Shonen Jump App, it’s £1.99/month and gives you access to all their recent publications as well as their back catalogue in English! So you can read all of Boys Over Flowers, Nisekoi, Naruto, One Piece, Haikyuu, Assassination Classroom, My Hero Academia etc. for a fraction of the cost of buying the physicals! SO much manga at your finger tips! No, they don’t sponsor me but i wish they would. 

Astra Lost in Space Funimation (Dub/Sub) 12 Eps Total Manga: 5/5 volumes available in english, available on the Shonen Jump App

A group of teenagers on a school trip become Lost In Space and quickly discover a conspiracy is a foot. Part thriller, part comedy, saying anything more about this series would count as a spoiler given the number of plot twists throughout. 

Radiant Funimation (Dub) Crunchyroll (Sub) 42 eps total Manga: 13/13+ volumes available in english (ongoing series)

A french manga turned into a Japanese Anime.

“Seth, a sorcerer destined to find Radiant, sets his sights on Caislean Merlin for answers. He’s desperate to find out what the Knight Sorcerers know, but can he trust them? In the wake of all that is unknown, he digs deep within himself for the wisdom and confidence to control his powers. And as the world around him continues to grow with more magic and power, he gains strong new allies.”

The series has BIG Saturday Morning cartoon vibes. My 12 year-old self would have been ALL OVER this.

Batman Ninja (Netflix)  

What if a Japanese animation studio asked DC if they could make a batman movie? And then just threw a Japanese history book at it? What if there was time travel? What if the main batman villains were all feudal lords in Japan? What if everyone were Samari? What if Damian had a small animal companion he could communicate with using a flue? What if Jason’s hood was made out of wicker? What if Penguin had a penguin shaped mecha? 

A wild ride from start to finish that makes no sense but really, do you care? 

[otometearoom]

I Finished Tsumugu Logic!! Overview/Rant

It took me a month, but I finished the last chapter of the game and got the true ending. I will keep playing to get all of the other bad ends, etc. 

I have so so many feels about this game, y’all. I will be highlighting a few chapters in the game, so if you haven’t finished it. Beware of spoilers!!

[MANY SPOILERS/ENDINGS BELOW]

To recount my feelings throughout the game for each character: 

1. Tsumugu is a cutie pie. I actually really related to him, because I’m also at that point in my life where I have to decide what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life. I just finished university, but I’m still unsure about my career ahahah. So, seeing Tsumugu struggle to figure his life out was refreshing. 

2. “Sosei” is so hot. I laid eyes on him and thought, uh-oh, he’s my new addiction ahahah. I would buy his merchandise if there was any. The dude loves sweets (how cute is that) and he has such a good head for mysteries (my dream man). Plus, he’s a tsundere but really cares about Tsumugu, often giving hints and advice to him. He’s a very trustworthy older brother/senpai. I could gush over how much I love Sosei for ages. His drunken habits -> those are to die for. He becomes so lewd and straightforward. I love it. 

“Koyo”, on the other hand, I didn’t like him as much as Sosei. Which is weird, cause I love ikemen. Maybe I’m just drawn more into the withdrawn, mysterious guys?? I do like the concept of twin brothers though. I have a bit of a dirty mind so when the twins said they shared everything, even their gf, I was like ohohoho, 3p? 

I absolutely enjoyed the twins together though. I love seeing them pretend to be the other. I wish they had more of an appearance lol. I could even say that Sosei and Koyo are a scale higher than Tsumugu for me. I wish the twins were the main protagonists ahahah. No offense Tsumugu. 

I’ll just summarize my first impressions for others real quick: 

3. Kotoko - I thought she was cute, but I never really liked her and couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why. This feeling will come into play later on. So at first, I was like meh, she’s okay, I guess. But, as I learned more about her, I really didn’t like her character that much. I mean, I wouldn’t say I hated her but I didn’t find her as a good fit for Tsumugu. 

- When she told Tsumugu to be a salesman or whatever. I was like, do you even know Tsumugu? Lmao. I didn’t know if it was just me empathizing with Tsumugu cuz I’ve often been told of what I should be, but no one asks what I want to be. 

- When she didn’t want to help Mirei, I thought how odd, for someone who tries to befriend everyone, she’s not doing so well as a heroine. I mean, it was realistic, at least. But, I think the chapter where she admits that she tries really hard to fit in so others will like her was starting to draw some red flags for me. It made me wonder how much of her was ‘real’. Idk if I’m making any sense though.

- When she swung the knife at Tsumugu, I didn’t hate her as much as I did when she swung the knife at Sosei (who protected Tsumugu) and killed him. I was furious then. 

4. Sally - I admit I was really turned off by the girly lolita style. Mainly because I’m more tomboyish irl. But, she had a good sense of justice so I actually liked her. It did come as a shock to me though that she was the “gorilla” girl that was forced to kiss Nozaki. Tbh, I was kinda sad she died at the end. Like, I know she killed Hikone, but I could understand her motive better than I could understand Kotoko’s motive. Maybe cuz I have an older brother and can’t see myself being a brocon? ahahah. 

5. Toma - In terms of hotness, he comes 2nd right after Sosei. He’s a really good friend. And I absolutely adore how he scares ppl with his glare lol. i love yankees ahaha. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He’s a very solid character.

6. Daimon - My girl crush. High key curious who she’s arranged to marry because her fiance seems boring. Who takes an hour to choose a handkerchief? Anyways, Im sad that Daimon and Sosei never got to meet because I’m low key shipping them. Idk if they’d click well romantically because they’re so similar, but I would’ve loved for some sort of interaction. They’d make for an epic couple, solving mysteries. I really wanna write a fic for them. 

7. Tsukasa Tsukasa - I didn’t like him because of the cheating and blaming on my poor Toma, but after that, he was okay. Plus, he helped write the Tsumugu’s love letter to Kotoko. Which I find is funny, because Kotoko copied Tsukasa’s writing, thinking it was Tsumugu’s. Ahahah. The lesson here, folks, is that don’t use your own handwriting in love letters, you never know if you’re crush will copy said handwriting into your own suicide letter. 

8. Mirei - that girl can sing. I kinda cried after hearing it cuz I was going through something at the time and it really encouraged me. 

9. Landlady & Hikkimori - Both names that I can’t remember off the top of my head. I think both people are fun. The landlady is super supportive. And the hikkimori refusing to talk with Sosei made for a fun dynamic. I genuinely enjoyed seeing Sosei offended. Nice way to see emotions on my fave character. 

10. Other characters (Rindo, Happy, Travel Club Members) - I genuinely did not care enough about ahahah. I think I even enjoyed seeing some of them murdered, tbh. They were really horrible people in different ways. 

The Black club members headed under Fumi. Like what? How do you control victims to be assailants and live with yourself to be a future kindergarten teacher? Like what? I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Plus, her disproportionately large boobs were really weirding me out. I can’t believe Yu died all because Fumi wanted to f*ck him. It’s like one day you’re living your best life and someone thinks, ah, I wanna ruin this person. 

Don’t even get me started with Nozaki. That dude is a piece of trash. Human garbage. He knows how it feels to be a victim and yet thinks it’s his right to assault women. I wanted to slap that guy so hard. So many times. He was like the boy who cried wolf. He kept pretending to be dead and eventually died in the hands of Kotoko. XD I wonder what his last thoughts were. To have died in the hands of someone he trusted. 

Hikone was another nutcase. From what I understood, he just saw everyone else as characters in his book. Sure, he didn’t physically harm anyone, but doing nothing and observing is just as much of a crime as committing it. 

Shun. I never really like cutesy guys. But when he turned out to be an ex-pimp plus lover of Fumi, he fell off the likeable scale. 

Yoshimoto being an uncontrollable drunk murderer was the only thing needed to complete the psycho Travel Club members. Tbh, I thought he was the one behind the killings at first ahaha. 

Suguha. I thought she was a tough chick. It was cool to know that she had another motive to get closer to Fumi. Because I thought it was weird how she took her cellphone at the BBQ restaurant. It’s nice to know that SEEC still foreshadows like that. 

[siriusmuch]

constant | james potter

pairing: james potter x reader

warnings: hurt/comfort, so a bit angsty

word count: 1412

summary: requested by anon — prompt #3 (thanks. for what? for caring about me, i think.) from this list. james finally breaks down over being rejected by lily evans and seeks you for comfort.

a/n: i haven’t written anything in so long, so i hope this is good! i swear i’ll get back around to posting at a semi-constant level, but irl stuff has literally drained all my motivation to exist. anyhow, i hope you enjoy this! :)

-

Loving James Potter was a disease.

You knew this from the day you realized your feelings for him went beyond a crush, yet you still couldn’t stop your heart from beating erratically when you thought about him. It was a terrible, no good disease that occupied every second of your life. Even in your dreams, you were thinking about him.

James, James, James.

Your mind constantly replayed every shared touch, every lingering stare, and every flirtatious banter you’d experienced with him like it was a mantra. It was a painful sickness that occupied every cell in your body, making you feel warm in places you shouldn’t be when you’re thinking about your best friend and everything he did made you worship him just a little more.

And loving him was an incurable disease that settled into your heart and promptly broke it when he met Lily Evans.

You couldn’t help the pounding of your heart when you thought about him, no matter how many times you’ve told yourself that he’s in love with another and that he’d never have a place in his Lily loving heart for you. And of course, it wasn’t as if he didn’t care, because he really did. James cared in a way that you treasured. He cared with gentle hugs, by remembering your favorite snack and getting them for you, and by never hesitating to come over to your house when you were sad and bringing you your favorite movies and carrying another big hoodie for you to eventually steal.

He cared so much, that it hurt. It hurt you to be impossibly in love with him, to have him be the only possible cure for this disease, and to watch him pine over a girl so amazing, so perfect — a girl who wasn’t you. And it wasn’t that you haven’t tried getting over your feelings. You’d been on countless dates and buried into your search history was, “how to get over your feelings for someone” and “how to fall out of love with your best friend”. 

And now, you were seeing him in a way that you’d never had before.

It was a bit pitiful, honestly. James was curled up into a ball, his head in your lap. Your back was against his bed frame, and your hands were running through his untamable hair. Occasionally, he’d hiccup, the exhaustion of sobbing for so long finally catching up to him. And you wished you could do more for him, the way that he did so much for you.

“James, honey, do you want to talk about it?” You asked softly, peering down at him.

“I dunno…” James hiccupped again, “Have I not been trying hard enough, (N/N)?”

You continued to run your hands through his hair, “Of course you’ve been trying hard enough, darling. You charmed flowers into making them sing for Lily, James. That’s impressive magic, and you did even more than that. Afterward, you went up to her and…”

“And embarrassed Merlin’s pants off of myself. I asked her out, gave her an expensive locket, and she told me straight-up that even though we’re friends now, she didn’t see me in the same way. I thought I was making progress, but she told me she wasn’t interested. At all. And she wouldn’t be. What about me isn’t good enough for her?”

You sighed, “James… There’s nothing wrong with you. And I can tell you that over and over. You’ve grown so much since first year. And I can’t say that you weren’t an asshole at some point, because you were,” You chuckled, and as you looked down at him, you noticed the slightest of smiles on his face, “But you’ve grown. You’re head boy, for Merlin’s sake. You’re intelligent, kind, and you have such a strong sense of morals. You stand up for what’s right, and you’re more determined than anyone I know. And an excellent quidditch player.”

And he was everything to you. You wanted to tell him just how much he meant to you. You wanted to tell him about how you could see the world in his eyes. His beautiful, hazel eyes, that were so genuine. You wanted to tell him how you could drown in them. You wanted to tell him how you thought he was stunning, thought his personality was so attractive. That you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. Loving him, caring for him, even pranking with him.

James whimpered a tiny bit, and you sighed softly. “Do you want me to make you some soup? You can come down to the kitchen with me while I prepare it.”

James took a minute to consider until he finally nodded. You smiled, waiting for him to get up so you could get up yourself. It was a good thing you were seen around James almost constantly, or otherwise, people might’ve found it weird that you were coming out of the boys’ dorm room. Grabbing onto his hand, you led him towards the kitchens, nodding at people you recognized. 

“Prongs, (Y/L/N)!” A distant voice yelled, and the two of you stopped. Sirius took that moment to throw his arms around your shoulders, cheerfully asking, “Where are you guys going? No invite for old Padfoot?”

“To the kitchens,” you said as James said, “nowhere”. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn’t look at you.

“Aw, am I interrupting your alone time?” Sirius joked, and you shook your head no at him. ‘Not the time,’ you mouthed.

“Shove off, Padfoot. C’mon, (Y/N), let’s go.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows for a moment as you watch James walk off, and taking a moment, you quickly whispered to Sirius. “Lily happened. He’ll be okay, I’m making him soup.” You pat Sirius’ arm and scampered to follow James. 

Half of you wished that James was annoyed because he wanted to spend time with you alone. You felt selfish for thinking like this, especially when he was feeling upset, but you couldn’t shut down those thoughts. You knew that James hated being so vulnerable around others, especially since he was generally an upbeat person.

“You alright?” You asked after a minute of walking beside him.

“Yeah…” James sighed, turning around to face you, “I just don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Anyone who isn’t you, at least. You’re the only one I feel okay with being vulnerable with.”

You could feel your heart racing faster as you stared into his eyes. He was being completely honest, and once again, you were reminded of just how much you utterly adored James. Everything about him was so genuine. 

“And… thanks.” James said suddenly, causing you to snap out of your thoughts.

“For what?” You raised an eyebrow, silently noting how close you and James were standing.

“For caring about me, I think. You’re… so amazing. No one can match up to you.” James took a step closer, and you could hear your heart pounding. “Thank you for being here. I know I’m mopey when it comes to Lily, and I know that I’m overwhelming to deal with sometimes. But you’ve always been here. Thank you for being my constant.”

Your eyes softened as you took a small step forward. You told yourself that he was just being platonic — he needs someone to comfort him, not to kiss. Not when it was so soon after Lily, and even if he did realize he liked you romantically, you couldn’t. It was early and entirely possible that he just viewed you as a rebound and when the relationship ends, it’d be awkward.

“I’ll always be here for you, James. You know that.”

James nodded, opening his mouth to speak again, “(Y/N)... I think I’ve realized som…”

You shook your head at him. “Don’t say it, James. I think I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t want to be a rebound. I’ve been in love with you for ages, and I refuse to be the girl who you date after you got your heartbroken because I was here. When you’re over Lily, we can talk about it again, if you still feel the same. But for now, put your mind off romance. Let’s just be James and (Y/N).”

You could see a flicker of sadness going through his eyes, but he nodded, reaching out for your hand. “Are you at least still making me soup?”