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blindedbythedarkness · 3 years ago

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Josh,

Sometimes it's really fucking difficult to not believe that the universe is personally biased against me. And I know that's kind of rich coming from the one of us that didn't get driven to suicide. But I just, I know you of all people would understand. I wish I had you to really talk to right now.

I'm gonna ramble because I just need someone to listen. But where to fucking start? Life right now is just spinning plates. On one day this week I found out a critical hospital referral I was relying on had never been made; I was rejected by yet another landlord for a house next year that I'd really been betting on; my supervisor met with and bullied me for a solid two hours and my one social event of the week got cancelled. So, that's about when it all started to get too much.

The doctor I've been seeing has been incompetent from the start and made so much work for me in the 6 months I've been in her care. Despite diagnosing my Potentially Life Threatening connective tissue disease, she never even named it in our appointments, leaving me to discover the true horrors of my body through playing detective with my blood results. Long story short, to be confident that I can go on a treatment for it without bleeding out, I need to see a geneticist. But despite agreeing that I should see one, she's refusing to refer me to one directly. Instead, she's referring me to a pain rehab clinic at a separate hospital and saying they can internally refer me to genetics. The wait on the pain rehab clinic? At least two years. Plus, of course none of this information was forthcoming and required weeks of emailing back and forth. So now I'm angry, anxious and stressed about my health. I want to make a formal complaint but I don't know when I'll find the time.

That wasn't even the worst thing, though. The worst thing was uni reminding me just one last time that it truly doesn't give a shit about its students and why I hate it to its very core. The final piece of work I have left to hand in is a research project that I've been working on all year. However, my supervisor is an utter cunt, and I don't say that lightly. He's incredibly narcissistic and rude for a start. For a presentation I had to do, he forced me to use his own slides without ever looking at mine. He once ended an online meeting because I misspoke when explaining a figure, telling me to call him back when I knew what I was on about because he "never forgets what he sees and doesn't want his brain soiled with incorrect information." Given he never remembers what we've spoken about from one meeting to the next, I call bullshit. Oh and this week? He asked me to explain a figure to him and when he said he didn't understand I asked him if he was looking at my screen share. He said no. I just despair!

To make matters worse, he's never fucking happy with me. He's made me start my work from scratch 3 times now and had a different problem each time. We're rapidly approaching the deadline now, so to get all the work done for the 3rd time I've been working 9am-5pm 6 days a week. Not that he cares. The results don't fit his hypothesis, so I must simply be incompetent. He even once had the audacity to suggest that I "didn't want to do the work" while looking through a 70 page document of my results, because I couldn't explain the findings of a figure I'd made a month ago off the top of my head.

In this weeks meeting, he again gave me an extortionate list of new tasks to do, while berating me at every turn. With a month left submit my thesis and my write up not started, I tried to explain to him that I wouldn't have time to complete the list. He just shrugged and said, "Well I think you should do it." And yes, this man is aware that I have been struggling physically and mentally recently.

I didn't know what else to do to make him listen, so I contacted the course supervisor (who I'd already briefly made aware of my issues with him). She told me to "quit" and "just get on with writing my thesis"... until four hours later after she had spoken to my supervisor and completely changed her mind. She video called me to tell me to do the work and I just broke down. I don't make a habit of ugly sobbing in front of people I've only ever met twice over Microsoft Teams, but this was a particularly bad day.

"Trying to do this work is going to destroy my physical and mental health."

"I can't do this anymore."

"He never listens to me."

"I've been working 6 days a week and it's killing me."

She didn't care. She told me that since my supervisor is an experienced professional, he must know how much he's asking of me and since he insists it's quick and easy stuff, it must be. This man has never done this analysis himself. He doesn't even know how; half the stuff one of his lab workers taught me and the rest I taught myself.

"Chill out" and "calm down" she told me, "do the work and if you have any problems ask John (the lab worker)"

By the time I pressed the leave button, I could barely breathe, let alone talk. I was just choking and sobbing and had snot pouring down my face. I was just so tired. So stressed. So... ignored. I didn't know where I would find the hours in the day, but I started by cancelling the trip to see my parents this weekend. To them I am not a student, and a student with health problems at that. I am simply a machine to use for free research.

I just wanted the stress to give me a break. I just wanted a break. I was genuinely afraid that my heart was going to stop from the stress alone. I didn't know where else to turn. The counseling service put me on a waiting list. My tutor told me to "just keep trying my best". My mentor told me to talk to my course supervisor. My course supervisor told me to work. A was busy revising for an exam the next day and I didn't want to bother him. So, I turned to my unhealthy coping mechanisms instead.

I didn't mean to do it as badly as I did. I just wanted to scratch my skin enough to feel it burn and give me something else to feel instead of the huge mass in my chest. But the scissors were sharper than I thought and when I looked down there were four long cuts that had gone through the skin and fat. I knew immediately I'd fucked up. There was no way those edges were coming together on their own. Honestly, I was just mad I'd given myself something else to do. So, I covered them with gauze and tape and kept on working. Because I needed to work. I needed to get it done. I would deal with going to the hospital later but I couldn't lose these working hours.

Once the blood was dripping from the gauze I finally, begrudgingly, went to the hospital. Honestly? They were surprisingly nice. They were understanding and they listened. I was so worried that they'd think I was some cringy emo kid looking for attention. I honestly felt like a total knob going there, but I didn't have a choice. I never felt judged or like they thought I was wasting their time or that it was all my fault. Of course, I know that it was my fault and I felt like a fool. But I also don't blame myself for becoming so desperate. At one point a doctor came in with a medical student who was visibly shy and embarrassed when examining me. I told her I had a place at medical school, so not to worry as I'd be in her place soon. And again, I was shocked because they didn't once tell me not to go. I thought they were going to say "if you can't cope right now, starting medical school isn't for you!" But they never said anything like that. Instead they were shocked I'd gotten in to such a good uni and seemed incredibly genuine when they wished me well.

Oh, and the wounds? Thankfully I didn't need stitches so I got them pulled together again with steri-strips. And in case you didn't believe me that I didn't intend them to be so bad, I nearly passed out three times after looking at them. So, I truly am a fucking idiot, Josh. Lesson learnt, I suppose. Though I'm still afraid what will happen next time I run out of options.

It's finally the end of the week now, but the universe still hasn't given me a break. My mum called earlier and told me my rabbit will be crossing the rainbow bridge tomorrow as he seems to have had a stroke. I mean, it's a small mercy that he's an old bunny and he's been unwell for a long time, so it's not a shock. But it's still so sad and I'll miss him so much. What really tops it all off is that I was going to see him this weekend until I had to cancel my trip home due to the workload.

Man, I just. Why does shit stuff seem to come so easily to me? It's difficult not to feel personally victimized when shit news after shit news lines up so well. I wish good things came as thick and fast. I hope to fuck my luck changes soon because honestly I'm terrified that it's taking years off my life.

Thanks for listening, Josh,

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themeofbalqis · 5 years ago

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8 Things I Wished I Knew Before PT3 (2019)

Whew, 2019′s almost over. This was one wild ride of a year for me, as I sat for my first standardized exam in high school. I was also the first batch to sit for the new format of PT3.

This year taught me a lot, especially about being a better student. If only I could go back in time and told myself the things I’ll be saying now – I wonder if anything would’ve changed...

Oh well. The past is in the past, and there’s nothing I can do about that. What I can do, however, is to share what I wish I knew before I took PT3. Whether you’re a senior who’s just curious, or a junior anxious about taking PT3, I hope that this can bring some sort of benefit to you.

1. Keep a positive mindset.

It was easy for me to blame the Ministry of Education for not updating us on this format early on. It was easy to whine about how it was unfair that everything was uncertain, and how even teachers didn’t really know what to do.

Complaining is easy, but it won’t get you straight As.

Instead of blaming your failures/anxieties on others, divert that energy into positivity for yourself. Start planning out how you’re going to study, how you’re going to achieve your goals. You’re gonna have to suck it up and buckle up to get work done if you really want great results.

2. Be on top of organisation.

I had a pretty good organization system already, but I felt like this was important to highlight for future PT3 takers.

Having a good organisation system is essential for students. Our brains are already messy enough, so having a system that organises your physical schoolwork is extremely helpful. I daresay that my organisation saved me throughout the year.

I had a folder with 8 sections – one for homework that was due, one for homework that was done, one for my mental logic subjects (math, science, asas sains komputer), one for my earth logic subjects (pendidikan Islam, geografi, sejarah), one for languages (bahasa melayu and English), one for random letters related to school and one for stuff related to extracurricular activities.

Organisation is also extremely important for when you begin your kerja khusus/coursework in the middle of the school year. If you can, store your files related to kerja khusus both online and offline so it can be convenient for you, especially for asas sains komputer students. This way, you can work on your coursework even after school.

I’ll make a post about my coursework experience and tips later on.

3. Cover all the Form 1 and Form 2 topics early on.

And by cover I mean, have a solid foundation and understanding on those topics. Yes, not every topic will come out in the paper, but it’s important to be well-prepared, no matter what.

To do this, list out all the chapters in every subject for Form 1 and Form 2. Plan out a study schedule which will lead to you covering all the chapters before your midterms – within, say, five months.

For example, Sains Form 2 has 13 chapters. If you revise one chapter every Saturday starting from January, then you would be able to finish it by the end of March.

4. If you want to move to MRSM or SBP, focus on Mathematics and Science.

Yes, MRSM and SBP usually look for all-rounders, but they will be especially attracted to your application if you maintain an A in both Math and Science. That being said, don’t ignore Sejarah and Geografi just to focus on Math and Science.

5. Midterms is the deadline.

Trials aren’t considered proper exams anymore, but I think many schools still set a trials date to prepare their students for the coming exam. If you’re applying for MRSM or SBP, they’ll most likely ask for your midterm results instead of your trials result.

So you shouldn’t be playing around during your midterms like I did, and focus to do well. You can (and really should) take a breather for a week or so after your midterms.

6. Don’t fall for those expensive seminars.

I went to one that promised notes and support until PT3, but it didn’t really help lol.

Instead of shelling out RM100+ for those seminars, find a private tutor for the subjects that you’re having a hard time in/really want to get an A in. Going for tuition classes that has a small class size is also okay. Or you can badger your teacher for free. Find what works for you.

7. Make use of spaced repetition, the Feynman Technique and the forgetting curve

Whoa! What are all these weird terms? Worry not, my friend, for once you learn about the functionality of these terms, they will be extremely useful to you. I call them The Essential Triangle of Efficient Studying.

• Spaced repetition: allowing yourself to forget information for a while, then retrieving it so that you strengthen your knowledge of that information.

I would recommend Ali Abdaal’s video on spaced repetition, which you can watch here. Make sure to watch the first part too, and check out the rest of his channel.

• The Feynman Technique: if you truly understand something, you must be able to teach it to a 6 year old. Basically, teach yourself what you’ve learned in simple terms.

Here is another video on how to use the Feynman Technique. If you’re too lazy to speak to yourself like me, you can do this method of the Feynman Technique.

Read about what you want to revise. Now, close the book/put away your notes.

Take a sheet of paper. Write down what about you’re revising, as if you were teaching to someone else.

If you forget something, refer to the book/notes to remember it. But DON’T copy it word for word. Close it and put it away, then continue to write what you forgot about.

Repeat step 1 through step 3 again and again until you are able to write notes on the chapter without having to refer to anything.

• The forgetting curve: how long it takes for us to forget information.

Here is a graph of the forgetting curve.

Basically, you’ll forget 50% of what you learned within a day. To increase your retention, you have to intercept the forgetting curve. After you’ve learned something, try recalling about it before you go to sleep. Then, review it the next day. Afterwards, review it in three days. Review again seven days after the last review, and again 10 days after the last review.

The more time you spend intercepting the forgetting curve, the more you retain what you’ve learned.

The best way to use all three of these is by using traditional flashcards, or by using a Spaced Repetition System like Quizlet or Anki. Another fun way is to constantly quiz yourself with your friends – usually, my friend would be asking questions from the textbook, and the rest of us would fight to answer and get points. The loser with the lowest points usually had to belanja chicken nuggets.

8. Get your priorities and self-discipline straight.

If you want to get excellent results, you better start acting like a top student.

Spend less time with friends who aren’t academically inclined. Make a simple study schedule and stick to it. Hold off entertainment until you’ve finished studying.

Don’t overwork yourself, do a maximum 5 hours of revision on a weekday, 6 hours of revision on a weekend. Appoint a day in the week where you do the bare minimum in studying or don’t study at all, just for lazing about, working on hobbies, spending time with friends and loved ones.

Take enough breaks so you won’t burn out and get stressed. Life doesn’t end after PT3. Don’t dwell on mistakes, you have to keep learning from them and moving forward in this world.

That’s the reality of the world. And to think that we’re only 15.

Thank you for reading until the very end! I’ve been very blessed this year to learn a lot, not only inside the classroom, but about myself and life in general. PT3 was only a small portion of this year for me – but this post doesn’t really talk about that.

That being said, I’m grateful for everything that has happened this year. I’m grateful for my results, grateful for the people that have supported me, for the people who doubted me, too. Everything has taught me so much, and I want to cherish these memories and lessons until the very end.

If you’re taking PT3 soon, good luck! I wish you all the best. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send me a message in my inbox. I’m always happy to help, as long as you’re willing to learn.

#op #studyblr #studying #study #pt3 #pt3 tips #malaysian studyblr #malaysia studyblr #malaysian high school

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honeyhopeful · 6 years ago

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how to survive job hunting when it’s hard

I hope everyone is having a good January! So, I am a recent graduate and I have been looking for a job with very little luck for a few months now. And it’s really hard to see your friends succeed, going to school abroad, getting promotions, starting family and you’re the only one currently unemployed with very little goals in life.

It can feel like you’re trying to play catch-up with all the people in the world.

It’s very easy to slip into the mindset that you’re not good enough, you’ll never find a job you’ll like, you’ll never get your dream job, and that due to unproductivity you’re just a waste of space.

I’ve cycled through this emotions and I really want to help everyone who is going through a similiar thing. Here’s what I’ve learnt during this time.

Keep in mind, I am currently financially okay and maybe my advice is coming from a place of privilege and I get that. This is a mish-mash of what my therapist told me and what I have learnt through my unemployment.

Set up a schedule. My therapist told me as someone who suffers from BPD - having a schedule is important to give not only your life stability but also keep your emotions in check. What I do is spend a few hours a day looking at job sites and creating a list of potential jobs I’m interested in applying. Then I write up some cover letter drafts, have them proofread and then I send them. I have a cut-off time meaning that at around 6pm-7pm I stop what I’m doing (unless deadlines are stipulated) and I simply take the evening off. I also do not look for work during the weekends to give myself time to recharge. I spent all day, every day, refreshing job sites and ended up making myself stressed and put unneeded pressure on myself - that makes finding and committing to a job a lot harder. So, setting up a schedule and scheduling your breaks and time off really helps have some control over your life.

Don’t lose yourself to Job Hunting Don’t underestimate the power of play. When I stop looking for jobs at the end of the day, you need to do something to really re-charge yourself and make yourself happy. Whether that is catching up on feel-good shows or playing your favourite video game or else taking up a new hobby such as crafting, puzzles, listening to calming music - whatever it is - it’s important that you still maintain some form of enjoyment throughout job hunting. Often times I would feel guilty when I would be enjoying myself when I should be looking for work, but that robs me of the free-time and self-care I dedicate to myself only. Finding a job is important, but it’s not worth being miserable all the time. Make sure to schedule time with yourself and do things you like to do - whatever that may be.

If you’re someone that gets easily overwhelmed - limit yourself I stress quite easily when I’m looking for work as I still have fears about entering the work-force. So what I have done to help myself is put a cap on how many jobs I apply to during a day - I usually cap around 3-6 jobs per-day and leave the rest for another day. And as I mentioned, I do not do anything related to job-hunting during the weekends (unless of course there’s a deadline and the weekend is the only time I have).

Remind yourself that just because you’re unemployed now, it doesn’t mean you’re useless. While you may not be employed, you still have a lot of productive value and it’s okay to just exist without earning money. Remember that your worth is not tied to your productivity.

If you get rejected from your dream job - don’t get yourself down. I got rejected from a lot of jobs that I wanted and it crushed me. However, my mother told me that getting upset everytime you get rejected from a job is not the way to go about things. of course, feeling upset is normal of course, but you should always take a day to practice some self-care and simply just accept it wasn’t meant to be for now. lots of people get rejected, fired and even never hear back from companies they wanted to work for - it has nothing to do with you, your performance or your skills - it’s a numbers game and someday - it will be your turn.

Join online, free support groups to kill your time. I moderate an online support group and it’s a lovely way to get to know people in my situation and even just to get some attention and encouragement. Support don’t have to be online and if you can find some local support groups or even events to go to or even just chilling at a public library. Mainting contact with people in a similiar situation can really help boost your self-esteem. I usually hang out with my best friend, and even though we’re a long-distance friendship, we spend our time streaming tv shows together, playing video games and even encouraging each other to do better and wishing each other luck for future endeavours. Something I had to deal with when I graduated University and when I couldn’t find a job is a loss of my real-world support circle. Finding online friendships to hang out with, call and stream keeps me connected to people and just makes this time a little more bearable.

Remember to maintain a healthy sleep schedule, keep up with self-care, learn new things (take a new short course if you can, or practice a language in your free time, or learn coding!), talk to people and more importantly - remember that a lack of a job and goals doesn’t make you useless - it just means you’re taking a bit longer to find your place in the world and ya know, that’s okay. a lot of people are unemployed and you’re certainly not alone in the world. if you need re-assurance, I’m here. I hope this post helped some of you!

#work #job hunting #adulting #real world skills #job skills #self-care #mental health #positivity #positive vibes #employment #skills

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flamboyantommo · 7 years ago

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Hi! I remember one day you wrote on a post all your fic projects. Do you still have a link of that ? Im curious to read it again and see what you're up to !

Hi! So the post you’re thinking of is probably this one? I can’t find a more recent one, and if there is one more recent, I can’t remember what I tagged it as, lol.

But there are some things not on that list, so here’s a full list just so it’s all in one place:

1. My age difference fic is almost done! I swear. I only have a few scenes left so I’m hoping to publish... soon.

2. My @moodboardprompts fic, which I should absolutely be working on instead of the age difference fic, since it’s due in a week, but, um, that’s what the weekend is for, right? Lol.

3. My drabbles for the @larrydrabble challenge!

4. My fic for the @1daspecficexchange, which is due in April.

5. My fic for the @anythingbutchallenge, which is also due in April.

Also, in my head I have:

1. I’m working on the last part in The Taylor Times series! It will be called Thursday Deadlines.

2. A full fic to tie up my winter drabbles in the Your Move series.

3. Another part in the Bottom of the Tenth.

4. A famous/famous AU that I’ve been thinking about forever.

5. Another fic for the @1000feelingsfics challenge!

And I think that’s it? I’m tired just looking at it. But thank you for asking! And with that I’m off to write some more for the age difference fic. Wish me luck!

#this was fun #to write #kikikryslee #Anonymous

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jessikahathaway · 8 years ago

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Owner

A/N: Hello everyone! It’s been a hot minute. Hopefully this new series makes up for everything J I haven’t written hybrid!au stuff before, but I find it really hot so why the fuck not right?

There will be smut in later chapters!

If you’re not into that kind of stuff, then I wouldn’t read this story.

Based sorta on this J-Drama called Kimi Wa Petto, if you wanna check it out its super cute.

Sometimes you wondered if people actually had brains in their heads. Because, a few people in your place of work were seriously making you think otherwise.

First, it was your intern spilling the offices order of coffee this morning and then leaving early because of an appointment that he so conveniently remembered just as the afternoon droll was rolling around. Then it was a deadline for a project of yours getting pushed up a few weeks, putting more strain on your team then you were willing to force on them, so you took on the majority of the work. Next it was your ex-boyfriend coming by and asking for the keys to your newly single person home as he forgot some of his things in the storage closet in the upstairs office. Honestly, you didn’t really care anymore, although seeing him so nonchalantly walking into your workplace and confirming your co-worker’s suspicions was somewhat humiliating.

And, to top it all off, you had to work late that night.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to dinner with us Miss Y/N?”

You shook your head and waved dismissively at the woman talking to you.

“I’m sure, I need to get this done before the night is over or I will be massively backed up when we get back from the weekend, and I really don’t want that to happen,” you said, not even bothering to look up at her.

You heard someone clear their throat as everyone shuffled out of the room.

Finally, peace and quiet.

The office had a sort of calmness that it didn’t have during the day at this time of night. No other souls were in the building, besides the security guards and you were free to work in peace. Sometimes you purposefully stayed late because then you could work more efficiently than when there were about twenty people in the office.

Although, this meant another night of sleep deprivation.

But, you weren’t really one to sleep restfully in the first place.

The minutes drew into hours and those hours started to stack scarily high.

It was around 3:00 in the morning when you finally pushed away from your desk and started to clean up.

You had finished the organizing of the files and also got a head start on the presentation. Mild inconvenience now will make your life ten times easier in the future.

The wheels on your chair squeaked as you stood up and stretched, finally feeling the blood making its way around your body. You rubbed your tired eyes and then noticed your phone was ringing.

Who the hell would be calling you at this hour? Never the less, it could be someone from overseas calling not being aware that they were being a massive dick. The idea of more work strained your brain, however, you picked it up.

“Hello? This is Y/N,” you said in your calm and level voice.

Your mother’s screeching voice echoed through the phone. “Hello darling! How are you? What are you up to?”

Without thinking about it, you instinctively pulled the phone away from your ear to prevent going deaf, before carefully hovering it near your ear so you could actually hear what she had to say. Not that you cared much.

“Hi, mom… Why are you calling so early?”

A gasp sounded through the phone.

“I’m so sorry darling! Did I wake you? I forgot I was in Paris for a minute there… Anyways, I wanted to confirm something with you.”

Of course she forgot she was in Paris. Probably one of the most extravagant cities in the world and renowned for being the city of love. But of course, it’s easy to forgot you’re there sometimes. Understandable.

“What is that?”

“I remember you gushing about your boyfriend, and I realized I’d never met him! I would love to do so, probably this weekend. I’ll come over for tea and see if I approve of this man in your life. Sorry to wake you, I’ll get going now! Au revoir!”

And with that, the line cut off.

It was very common for your mother to randomly invite herself into your home and cause havoc in your life. She’d told off multiple partners in your life that they weren’t good enough for you, in front of their faces. And of course, no one wants an in-law that’s over bearing anyways. No to mention a complete bitch on top of that.

But, you guess that if you got her favorite tea and made sure that your boyfriend-

Oh fuck.

That’s right.

The dick had dumped you after getting another chick pregnant. He had kept up the façade for two months, secretly meeting with her and helping her through her morning sickness while you woke up to an empty bed and confusion.

And now, your mother was coming over. Expecting to meet your boyfriend that you had been ‘gushing’ about. When in reality, you only had told her you were serious about this man. She probably didn’t even remember his name.

“Noona? What are you still doing here?” A tired voice came through the air.

Taehyung, a new security guard in your building approached you. He’d brought you some snacks one night and you both had bonded over stale Cheetos and cheap beer. He was a good person and not that much younger than you. Just a year. He had a superior named Namjoon that was the head of security in your building and he was just as kind, just a bit stricter.

“Nothing, just busy with work. Paper work and all that shit. Just about to head home though,” you said, grabbing your bag and hauling it over your shoulder.

“Oh, want me to walk you out?” He asked, gesturing towards the door in a ridiculously lavish fashion.

“Sure, sounds good. We haven’t spoken in a while,” you said, heading towards the door with him.

The two of you were chatting on the ride down the elevator and exchanged a few jokes and yawns before the ding of the elevator bell brought you out of your tired state.

“Well, I’m off to protect all your important files,” he said, getting ready to hit the button to go up.

Then, a stupid idea wormed its way into your head.

“Hey! Wait!” Taehyung jolted and stopped, jumping out of the elevator before it shut.

“Um, yes, Noona?”

“Want to be my boyfriend?”

You asked, before thinking about your wording too carefully.

Taehyung turned a bright pink color before choking on air and starting to cough.

“Oh!”

You rushed over and patted him on the back, hoping to help calm his fit.

When he finally got the air back in his lungs he looked up at you with surprise written all over his features.

“I thought it was my job to ask you out?”

You scoffed before shaking your head.

“That’s a sexist statement Taehyung. But, I meant my fake boyfriend. My mom is coming over for tea this weekend and my ex had to go knock another girl up. So, I kind of need a stand in,” you said, wringing your hands together.

“Ah, I was wondering why you would be asking me out so suddenly. And, sorry that happened, your ex is a complete dick who doesn’t know what he gave up. But, I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate it very much,” he said with a cute little blush dusting his features.

Guilt rushed through your system. How could you ask Taehyung to do that? He was so sweet and asking him to lie because your mother is incredibly pushy isn’t right.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I hope I didn’t just make things incredibly awkward,” you rushed, hoping to God he wasn’t mad.

You heard a little giggle that lifted your spirits and Taehyung placed his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m actually flattered that you asked me, but, like I said. I don’t think my girlfriend would bite, although I could always ask, wouldn’t kill me to do so,” he said, reaching for his phone. You stopped him quickly.

“No, that’s fine. I should just tell her that he broke up with me and take the heat.”

The idea displeased you greatly, due to the fact that you would never hear the end of it. ‘Why did he leave you?’ ‘If you were doing everything that I did as a wife this would’ve never happened!’

Now you knew why dad had died so early.

You were starting to like the idea more and more yourself.

Taehyung gave you a sad smile before heading towards the elevator again.

“Well, I better get back to work, Namjoon-Hyung with probably already kick my butt for being out this long anyways. Wish me luck,” he said as the door shut.

“Yeah, good luck…”

The night air bit at your skin as the tendrils of winter started to wrap around the city. The sounds of police sirens and cars honking as you walked filled the suffocating silence that awaited you at your door step.

The walk gave you plenty time to devise a plan however.

Loads of ideas had come up in your mind.

You could tell your mother that he simply had to work. But then you would have to explain to her where he worked and then she would insist on taking him a lunch or something of the like.

Bad plan.

There was always the classic, ‘Oh, he was feeling a little under the weather today and didn’t want to give it to us. How considerate is he?’ Although, then she would say you could prepare a meal for him and go nurse him back to health! He’d definitely have to marry you then, certainly!

Bad plan.

Then, if worst came to worst, you told her the truth. Which then would result in endless amounts of complaints of travelling all the way to your crummy apartment, that actually wasn’t that bad, just to be disappointed, like usual. Why couldn’t you keep a man? Was it that hard to just keep your mouth shut and please them? Is she ever going to get the grandchildren she so endlessly wants to spoil?

Bad plan.

You knew your mother wasn’t completely heartless. But, she was pretty self-centered and didn’t really care about much more than fancy material items and her own reflection.

That and every nook and cranny of your life.

Ever since you were born your life had been dictated by her and what she wanted for you. You hadn’t even gotten to choose what figure inspired you the most for an essay you wrote. She had to pick that too.

However, since moving out, you had gotten a sweet taste of freedom from her and it was everything you could’ve hoped for and more.

And now that you have it, you were going to do everything you could to keep it. Even if that meant lying straight to her face.

Your apartment building came into view and you were heading towards the door when the sound of someone running up the street caught your attention. You turned to look and noticed a tall man running towards you.

He was scratched up and looked a little worse for wear. He was also sporting a black eye that didn’t look good either. Fear flooded your system as you started reaching for the door, keeping your eyes on him.

The door clicked and relief washed over you like a tidal wave. Until you felt someone’s hand on your shoulder.

“Think you could help me?”

His voice was thick as honey and it was strained. He was panting heavily, and it sounded a little off.

You turned and almost screamed at the person in front of you. Or, if it was even a person.

It was a boy with normal male features, but with two ears sticking straight up out of his head. He must’ve been one of those furry people who dress up like animals and get busy with each other.

Weird, but you weren’t one to judge people.

Not too often, anyways.

But, at 4:00 in the morning outside your apartment building you were feeling rather judgmental. Especially towards some stranger with dog ears.

“What?”

“Can you be my owner?”

Confusion was the only emotion you felt at the moment.

“Your owner?” You thought about it for a moment and realized it must’ve been some sort of roleplay thing. “Sorry, I’m not really into this sort of thing and we don’t know each other so-”

“THERE HE IS!” A random man shouted from the end of the street and the sound of feet clambering up towards you was loud in your ears.

“Shit! Please, be my owner and I’ll do anything you want. Absolutely anything, please, just pretend to be my owner,” he begged.

You looked into his eyes and saw genuine fear. Your heart lurched as he looked petrified.

“Anything?” You cocked your eyebrow, and watched as he nodded frantically.

“Anything.” He confirmed for you.

Finally, the men approached you. They were all middle aged, and unhealthily large at that. They were huffing and puffing as they came towards you and whoever the man next to you was.

“You need to come with us, pooch,” one of the said, when he wasn’t wheezing that was.

One of them pulled out an inhaler and then proceeded to head towards the man next to you. You blocked them with a movement of your hand. They looked at you confused until you pushed the man behind you and stepped forward, crossing your arms in front of you and putting on your best face.

Time to put on a show.

“What’s the meaning of this?” You asked, raising an eyebrow and scanning the men in front of you.

“He’s an unregistered hybrid who’s been reported of indecent exposure. We need to take him in,” he said.

“And who might you be?” You question, walking towards them with an intimidating glare. The men backed off slightly and stood up a little straighter, trying to save the pride they were losing.

“We’re dog catchers. This hybrid needs to come with us,” he said, reaching for the man behind you again.

You reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping anymore forward movement.

“I think you’ll find that he doesn’t need to come with you. He’s mine, and I you can’t just take something that belongs to me.”

The men looked at you with shocked expressions.

“W-We weren’t aware that he had an owner, he has no collar or I.D on him.”

“Too much of a hassle, didn’t care for it, he behaves well enough. But apparently I need to be more stern with him, thank you for chasing him back home.” You said, starting to head towards the door.

“Wait! You need to fill out registration papers for him!”

You turned on your heel.

“My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N and his name is Jungkook, figure out the rest for yourselves. If I see you around here again I will call the police for harassment. I think we’re done here, come on Jungkook,” you said, walking towards the door.

He followed you without a word and the men were left there without a word.

You walked up to your apartment in silence. This hybrid gentleman hadn’t said anything since he had confirmed he would do anything for your assistance and you weren’t sure if he was planning on speaking anytime soon.

When you entered the apartment he stayed outside the door, seemingly tentative towards the new space.

“You can come in,” you said, looking at him.

He walked in slowly before shutting the door behind you.

It was silent for a few moments before he seemed to gather himself to speak.

“Thank you for your help,” he said, looking down at his hands.

“I didn’t do it for free you know,” you said, placing your hands on your hips.

“Ah, that’s right, what did you want? I’m assuming the usual thing, am I right?” He said, walking towards you.

“The usual what-”

You were cut off with warm lips against your own. You were shocked before you finally got your bearings and shoved him off of you and slapping him across the face.

He stood still and held his cheek, moderately stunned.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You growled, ready to beat his ass if need be.

He was frozen.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought… The usual thing that people want from us hybrids is sex, it was my fault I’m sorry…”

Guilt raised in your stomach as you watched him recover from the shock. He seemed far to used to getting hit for your liking.

“Come here,” you said, walking over to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of ice out of the freezer and handed it to him.

He slowly placed it on his eye and draped it down his cheek.

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head.

“It was my fault for assuming. I shouldn’t have pounced on you like that, I’m sorry,” he said once again.

“Do you have a name?”

You asked, looking at the rest of his wounds.

“Jungkook?” He questioned.

“Is that really your name?”

“I don’t know; I’ve never had one before. It’s generally just been Hybrid #233418, for as long as I’ve been alive.”

You felt sick. Only being known as a number, no one caring enough to give you a name. An identity to call your own.

It was wrong and dehumanizing.

“Do you like the name Jungkook? You can keep it or change it, I’ll call you whatever you like,” you said, walking over to the fridge for a couple bottles of water.

“Since my owner gave me the name, I’ll keep it. Does it suit me you think?”

You turned around and handed him a water.

“Your owner? You mean me? I’m not your owner,” you said, setting him straight.

“But you are, you agreed to be my owner and told the dog catchers your name,” he remembered, grabbing the bottle of water and chugging it down with gusto.

“How do you know that was my real name?”

He set down the bottle of water, which was now almost empty, before looking at you intently.

“You don’t look like the kind of person that is good at lying. That’s why I trust you,” he said, giving you a cute little smile.

“Okay, what are hybrids? I’ve never seen anyone with ears like that…” You said, staring at them with curiosity.

Jungkook seemed to notice this and they flattened on his head slightly.

“Hybrids? You don’t know anything about the sex industry do you?” You shook your head dumbly. “We were made for sexual purposes. Since we’re not technically human, it’s not considered prostitution. Although, some of us are bought for companions and arm candy for those in higher in society. Sometimes we’re bought as pets. But, generally, we’re a good fuck for people who can’t get any from their significant other,” he explained.

“So that’s why you kissed me…” you said, fitting the pieces together in your mind.

“Yes, I thought you were aware of us, but apparently I can’t assume anything with you,” he chuckled afterwards, rubbing his cheek.

“Why were those dog catchers after you?”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“It’s a long story. And honestly, I’m too tired to remember most of it. Basically, I was sick of fucking people every day, and for a male hybrid that’s saying something. I was tired of being treating like a piece of meat, like I didn’t matter. So I bolted one night when my client was asleep. Been on the run ever since,” he said.

“And what was all of that about indecent exposure,” you questioned, raising an eyebrow.

He blushed slightly and cleared his throat.

“Well, just because I didn’t want to be prostituted doesn’t mean that I object to sex when it’s offered…”

“I don’t see what that has to do with indecent exposure,” you said, giving him a look.

“I was chased out of a very angry man’s house after sleeping with his daughter,” he said, leaning forward on the counter.

“Good for you.”

He laughed and the sound was almost heavenly. The longer you looked at him, you couldn’t imagine that he was ever in any kind of hardship. He had a twinkle in his eyes that just screamed trouble, and you were interested.

“So, if you don’t want me for my skills in the bedroom-”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes.

“Please,” you laughed before drinking more of your water.

Jungkook took the bait.

“I was the most paid for hybrid since I turned legal. I don’t disappoint,” he whispered lowly, trying to be seductive.

“Cute pup, but not going to work on me,” you said before pushing him back.

“Fair enough, you’re a tough woman, I’ll give you that. However, that doesn’t answer the question. What do you want me for?”

You thought it over for a few moments then looked him dead in the eye.

“Jungkook, I need you to be my fake boyfriend.”

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twopassportsandamap-blog · 5 years ago

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We are Calum and Lucy, and we want to share our experience travelling through Europe across 9 days.

Take from this guide what you want, as I know there will be slight tweaks if you want to have a spontaneous adventure and wing it as you go. Our Europe trip was planned from start to finish, and we have built this guide based on travelling to destinations and having everything pre-booked. If you are unsure of where you want to go from destination A, or if you want to wait and see when to move on, there will still be some tips you can take from this.

Together we travelled 5 countries in 9 days. One thing we have always had a desire to do is travel, and interrailing was an option we explored last year. However this wasn’t practical as we both work full time and have limited annual leave. Interrailing is still an adventure I would love to go on in the future, but for now we decided to change it up a bit, and go interflying, meaning we could see all the places we wanted to, in a shorter period of time to fit in with work. This method was still within budget and I personally felt more secure knowing I would get to see everything I wanted to in the time we had available. This guide will help others in the same situation, and I’ll be sharing some tips and tricks I learned along the way to ensure you plan the most perfect trip and make the most of your time and money.

Budget and booking

The first step towards planning a trip is budgeting. Know your budget and also have a safety buffer incase you go over. The first place I went was websites like Skyscanner & Kayak, putting in my departure airport (Glasgow) and date, and selected anywhere. This brings up the cheapest flight from that airport on that date. For us this was Amsterdam. Then I decide how long I want to spend in Amsterdam, and this can be determined by researching what activities and sights are available, and how much of it you want to explore. Once you’ve decided that, do the same again and see where the cheapest place to fly to is from Amsterdam* and price the flights. Adjust your search by a day ahead and a day behind, as this can have a difference in price especially if it is a weekend.

Once you’ve built a skeleton plan of where you want to visit (A to B, B to C, C to D etc) you can then start to add the body around it. I focused on sorting out my flights in chronological order first. This means you know exactly where you’re visiting and what dates you’re going on. If you were to book path C to D first, and then flight B to C was full, this would make the plan out of sync, so always stick to chronological order for the flights just incase of change.

Our last destination should have been Copenhagen, however the flights there doubled in price during planning so we decided to bank that thought for another time. Then I built in accommodation afterwards, and finally activities and routes to and from the airport.

*Country of your choice. Used for example only

Itinerary

Start to build an itinerary and have the time set out with each activity or movement you make. Perhaps I over-prepare, but I like to know that I will have enough time in the day to do what I want, and I can also identify what free time I will have each day, for food and rest. A detailed Itinerary is helpful to give to friends and family members who want to follow you from home, and you can include accommodation addresses and flight numbers for extra safety if you wish. This is beneficial to make the most of spending a short time in a country. We spent less than 24 hours in Amsterdam and Milan, but having a detailed itinerary meant we knew what we were going to do at each time, and stuck to this schedule to make the most out of our visit.

Managing currency and spending money

The countries we visited used various currencies. I took a set amount of each currency in cash, and then put the rest of my money on a travel card. I was worried about taking too much of one currency in cash, incase I left the country and the leftover currency was essentially useless unless I took it to be converted. My card of choice was a Monzo card, due to good reviews and no fees abroad. I could load this with my home currency GBP and when using it abroad, it will convert into the local currency automatically with no charges. If you are a frequent flyer I do recommend Monzo as it was so simple and manageable. Upon arrival in a new country, Monzo will notify you of the exchange rate. Monzo also provides a daily tally of how much you have spent (again this will show in your home currency and then the local currency) and breaks it down into category – food, drink, leisure, activity etc. You receive a monthly tally on there as well which again is so beneficial when keeping on top of your finances.

Keeping track of costs and bookings

Create a spreadsheet to keep track of costings, dates and times. It’s easy to go over budget, or lose sight of what you have and haven’t already paid for, or booked. Use the contact section of our blog to request a free download of the spreadsheet I made up when planning my Europe interflying trip. (Please leave your email address) It paid off to be as organised as possible as if it benefits even one other person have the trip of a lifetime then I’ll be happy. I have 2 versions available, one for a solo traveller and one for a party of 2.The only difference is the spreadsheet for multiple travellers will break down the cost per person as well as a total. If your party is more than 2, feel free to let me know and I can send a custom sheet to you.

I will also mention the currency used in my spreadsheet is GBP however if you would like this to be modified, I can do so. It’s handy to note this spreadsheet can also be accessed on your smartphone/device using Google Sheets which is handy for on the go adjustments.

Within the spreadsheet is a to-do list, I like to categorise my to-do list by priority and deadlines. This might seem extreme but it’s so easy to forget something especially with the excitement of an upcoming trip! Organisation is key for a successful trip, and takes away the stress and worry of something going wrong due to bad planning.

Research

Research is essential regardless of whereabouts you are going; it is most beneficial if you plan on sightseeing and making the most of the culture change. Here are some of my top tips when it comes to researching

1) Find out average temperatures in the area at the time of year you plan on going. Of course, the weather can be unpredictable but it’s useful to understand if it’s normally scorching or torrential rain to help you plan activities and also clothing.

2) Best locations to stay – look into the town/city in depth to ensure you are staying somewhere suited to the party you are travelling with. For example, if you love making the most of nightlife, staying in a remote country town would not be the best option for you, and you may be best suited to a busier town with more nightlife, pubs and clubs.

3) Look into popular local scams so you remain vigilant and aware of what tourist traps are about in the area – this will help identify typical trends for scams in the area, and you can be alert and avoid any offers made to you (eg currency conversion in the street promising better rates)

4) Read travel blogs – I spend a lot of time doing this once my flights are booked, before arranging anything else on the trip. I take tips from travel blogs to help me mind map different areas to stay, things to do, local currency, things to be wary of, weather, the list is endless. Read as much as possible, not just from guide books. Travel blogs are real life experiences from the perspective of a fellow traveller, and you’ll find some hidden treasures that you might not see on a “Top 10 things to do in…” list.

5) Check the distance from your point of arrival (airport/train/bus station) to the city/area you are hoping to stay. Work out if it is worth your time and build this into an itinerary so you know how much time to allow yourself to travel upon arrival and departure.

6) Find out if it’s suitable to buy tickets for activities in advance. It may be cost effective to book in advance compared to arriving on the day and buying then. There is also the risk that the excursion could be fully booked when you arrive, and you miss out. A good example of this is Anne Franks House in Amsterdam. Through research on travel blogs, I learned it is best to book your tickets in advance, as these sell out a couple of months before the date of the visit. I managed to obtain the tickets exactly 2 months before our trip, and selected these for a time that suited my itinerary. Upon arrival at the museum, there were many disappointment travellers who turned up on the day hoping to buy them on the door, with no luck. Booking tickets in advance also helps with organisation and budgeting, meaning your spending money can be used for extras. Most attractions have a separate, much shorter queue for pre-booked tickets as well, which is always a bonus. Perhaps it’s just me, but sometimes I get carried away and it’s easy to go off track with your plans and maybe change last minute or run out of time. If you pre-book tickets for something you know you definitely want to do, it means you will 100% go and not fall victim to the spur of the moment side track idea. Although a spontaneous change of mind isn’t always a bad thing, you might never get the opportunity to visit that country again.

7) Check Instagram tagged places for inspiration and hidden gems. For example, in Amsterdam I searched through posts tagged in Amsterdam to see where other travellers have visited and pictures of their time in the city, this gave me loads of inspiration on what to do when I got there, places to eat, and I’ve discovered so many unique hidden gems thanks to both travellers and locals on social media.

8) Be cost effective – before booking anything, check various sites and dig deep to make sure you’re getting the best possible price. I always spend a few weeks gathering a list of providers and prices, to help me stay organised and easily identify which one works out cheapest for me to then book. It’s worth noting that booking through sites like Expedia earns you points which can then be redeemed for credits on a future booking.

I hope this has helped you if you plan on interflying, or going on a multi-country trip. Please use the contact form if you have any further questions or need any assistance with any points I’ve mentioned. Happy flying ☺

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