#i have also met the most amazing people through this silly fandom

[mayxo-hxh]

1 year of being hyperfixated on hisoillu: OMG THEY ARE INSANELY CUTE TOGETHER LOOK AT HOW THEY SMILE AROUND EACH OTHER!!!

2 years of being fixated: it has been consistently emphasized that hisoka always works alone and that he is his own man yet he keeps on going back to working with illumi requiring illumis assistance aka admitting that he is not that much of a lone wolf as he initially shows himself off to be to other people not to mention his marriage to illumi completely loses him the "own man" status as he now belongs to someone else and-

3 years of being fixated: OMG THEYRE SO INSANELY CUTE TOGETHER AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hyperfixation-symposium]

Hey all, sorry for the delay in my overly sappy end of QSMP post but I've been so so busy and unable to work on it! (I will also be getting you all in the tag games soon, watch out >:) )

This project has made a huge impact on my life in many ways. I originally made this account because I was dealing with a lot of anxiety around being publicly in this fandom, but I've grown so much and I'm so lucky to have met so many amazing people.

This project allowed me to meet people from all over, expanding my community and understanding of other cultures in a way I couldn't have dreamed of before. I'm learning a second language seriously for the first time, with the help of those I love. I grew and learned a lot about myself and, sometimes, what the Internet had in communities I didn't even know existed.

Though the qsmp is over, and I will probably slow down on this blog, I never want to lose the connections I made. plus, who knows what the newest hyperfixation will bring?

Genuinely, though, this wouldn't have been nearly as incredible of an experience without qsmpblr being there through every bump in the road. For updates, for encouraging words, for.. everything. Thank you all.

Okay before I get too caught up in my own sappiness- special thanks below the cut!

Love to my fellow co-parents and egg children admins @shadowfloofster @angel-astre @qsmp-a1-updates @justpuppi @eyesofcrows @froggiest-multifanboy @finleyisgayforreal and everyone else I don't have the tag for. I don't have words for how much this silly server and all of you in it mean to me :)

To @Ridd for being such a cool friend the entire time (I can't find your Tumblr acc if you see this I'm hunting you for sport)

@heartkade I'll forever miss your theories and running back and forth in the tags

@zerosalt LITERALLY THE COOLEST EVER WHAT

@kays-artstuff Talking to you and seeing your art always did and always does make my day

@q-starhalo Holds the most correct opinions ever and I will not take criticism

@6flyingosprey6 MOST UNDERRATED QSMPBLR PERSON EVER

@iminyourbookshelf @lacavedalex @the-crimson @pokidragon @cosmic-d1ce @whoturnedgravityoff and else who made this experience so special

@tubborucho for always having correct opinions on everything

@soratsuart of course, for getting me into the server and @rannlwitch for all the amazing conversations we've had and your awesome storytelling in RLSMP

I'm very tired and I'm sure I forgot a million names but don't be afraid to reach out!!! I love you all, thank you for taking this journey with me.

This is not a goodbye, per say. A see you later seems more accurate :)

But for now,

Boa Notie, Buenas Noches, and Goodnight qsmpblr. Love you all

(I hope this is comprehendible I'm so tired)

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

happy new year everyone!! 🌟✨ it's been almost exactly a year since i first tentatively poked my head into this little space here on tumblr, and being part of the wonderful am/miles/tlsp community here with you all has truly been one of the highlights of my 2023 💗

as i'm sure is the case for most of us, it's been a year of ups and downs for me. i've been lucky enough to experience some amazing things (living in a new city, reconnecting with my creativity, getting my dream job, discovering music that speaks to my soul, making new friends, reading some amazing books) and human enough to experience some less incredible things (chronic pain, family difficulties, discovering my dream job is not in fact my dream job, getting long covid, the ever uphill battle of healing from trauma). through it all, this space has been a continued solace and source of joy, where i've met some truly special people and felt part of a little community where i get to have fun and flail and just be me. i can't even begin to express how grateful i am to be part of a space like this, or how grateful i am to everyone here who makes it what it is ✨

i also just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has supported me with my writing over this past year, whether that's through kudos or comments or messages or amazing cheerleading/editing help. one of the absolute gifts of discovering this fandom has been the writing fic side of it. maybe it sounds silly, but writing four walls has genuinely been one of the highlights and biggest achievements of my year. writing has always been something incredibly close to my heart, but my degree left me totally sapped of inspiration and confidence, and i'd been struggling for a while to climb out of that after graduating. something about alex and miles just instantly sparked off inspiration in me that i hadn't felt for a long time, and getting to write about them over the past year has reminded me of the sheer joy of creating and the magic of getting to share that with people ✨

it's something that's finally given me the confidence to pick up my own original writing again too, and i couldn't be more grateful to alex and his wonderful lyrics (particularly the entirety of humbug) and to everyone who's supported my fic ventures for helping me reconnect to and explore my creativity. it's the best feeling in the world to finally feel like i'm coming home to that part of myself and carving out a proper space for it in my life 💗

2023 was far from perfect, but it was filled with so many brilliant moments of illumination and i feel i am leaving it with a deeper sense of myself and my path moving forward. i know it's going to be a rocky one at times, but i am excited for what 2024 holds in store for me - and i can't wait to continue flailing with you all over all things milex and to enjoy all the amazing fics/gifsets/posts/art to come!

wishing all of you a year ahead full of wonderful moments and new experiences and fulfilment 💫✨ i really am more grateful than i'll ever be able to adequately express for this space here, and to all the amazing people i've been lucky enough to get to know through it. here's to an amazing 2024 for all of us 💗💞🩷💓💖💕💝

(the photos above are just a random little collection of ones over the past year that i particularly associate with the various things i've talked about in this post)

[amrv-5]

Today (March 13) is (unbelievably) the first birthday of Somewhere to Get To (the first chapter’s post-date, anyway), an anniversary about which I’m still (evidenced by sheer parentheticals-per-sentence rate) trying to decide how to talk (talking about it, by-the-by, because (earnestness…) it is pretty important to me, it turns out, still, one year on. Who could’ve guessed…?). Mostly I’m floored anybody reads the damned thing at all. Long. Absurd reading commitment. Amazing to me people have dedicated some of their time and attention to something I made — and unbelievable to hear on occasion that it’s emotionally connected to people, or impacted them in some way. Such an honor to be party to that sort of connection thru (fan)fiction. Thank you—really!! Wow!!! 

And, speaking of connection (pretty personal, and decidedly earnest, musings on the fic/anniversary/my relationship to both under the cut, avoidable if you’d like, you’ve been warned) — 

Been rereading some of S2G2, idly, sporadically, as I’ve been considering its first post-iversary. What’s coming to me repeatedly, as I read at a year’s distance, is a strong sense of autobiography—not in terms of event, but in tone, in concern, in most of all a very palpable sense of reckoning with the less-than-ideal that runs through the whole thing. There are some plot beats or details I’d do differently today, and I have a hard time continuing to like the things I make after they take on some distance from me, but (if I can say this about my own silly little fan fiction) I think the urgency of the thing, its emotional intensity and clear desire to try to grab hold of Something (hope? a foundation for belief in others? meaningful good?) remains affecting / effective, or does for me, despite my own work typically striking me poorly. 

Long way to say that I’ve found, reading in March 2024, that the thing’s a pretty clear if entirely unintentional record of the things I was thinking about, trying to work into my worldview, trying in some cases to excise from my worldview, things I was looking for or giving in to, and so on, in the months leading up to March 2023. One of those points of concern (transparently) was the strain of loneliness, the value of connection. With a year’s perspective, it’s important to me to say how grateful I am to have found such a welcoming, lovely, friendly, supportive, all-around-brilliant community in the fandom. I owe so much to the kindness and enthusiasm of the wonderfully talented people I’ve met on here, and I can say confidently that a large part of the reason I can read the terrifically lonely thread running through S2G2 and sense a degree of emotional distance from it—still resonant, but not immediate, identically-felt—is because I have made so many friends I value here, who enrich and enliven my days so beautifully…! So thank you all!

And, relatedly: Another central concern of the fic is the difference between happiness and un-sadness, the value and place of each, struggling to help oneself face hard truths and sort of cosmically-ordained and unavoidable suckiness—the repeated stress on how “[t]here were some things a person could fix, and others one had to live with the best they could.” 

Without wading into details (because who cares and also the What is unimportant) 2022 thru 2023 was the worst span of time I’ve ever experienced, what I retrospectively have been internally tagging the Lost Year(s)—have not before or since been so profoundly, uninterruptedly depressed. I wrote S2G2 in a frantic little burst from the bottom of a hole I sort of assumed at the time I would not get out of (dramatic!). And obviously the seductiveness of despair is a big focus in the course of the fic, but I’m struck on re-reading how ironclad the thing’s grip on hope (or hope in hopelessness) is—reassertion, continually, that experiences are worth having, that some things are worth sticking around for, and so on.

A year on, I’ve by no means solved the problem or perfected the art of balancing That Which Can Be Fixed against That Which Must Be Lived With, but I can say that the Living With is lately going comparatively so well most days it has not been the Central, All-Consuming Concern of Every Waking Moment—living with, tolerating, carrying, and so on—not even an hourly concern, or much of a conscious one, so much as something to check against, watch for, a diligent quiet awareness and work, when necessary, that has been (knock on wood) getting much easier with time, better life circumstances, and people to be around. Aware how significant that change is, on rereading what I was writing when that fixing-vs-living-with was so crushing it sort of tabula rasa’d my sense of self—meaning, mostly, that I’m unbelievably grateful to feel like somebody real again, and I owe that, too, in no small part to a fandom community that is on the whole so positive to be a part of—made it worth it to write, and try to put something into the world, and express passion for something I loved, and feel that passion reflected back to me when it was most needed.

And from that: just wanted to say, from my point of view a few tentative steps into what is beginning to feel like real and meaningful recovery—it gets better!! At the time of initial composition in late 2022/early 2023, I was trying hard to write hope for a few characters I adored, so I could maybe see it for myself, edgewise (truth thru fiction…?). I heard in the course of posting chapters from people who said that the fic resonated with them, that they related to or saw themselves in how I was writing Hawk or Beej, and drew some degree of comfort or catharsis in reading—wonderful, and I don’t think I could ask for more than to believe maybe some people who felt like I did at the time felt a little better because of something I wrote. and if there’s anything I hope people get out of thinking about S2G2 on this year-iversary it’s that uhh it gets better, and stubborn hope + whimsy + sense of humor + enjoyment of the absurd is ur most powerful tool as a human person probably, and also I’m stupid grateful for and very fond of fandom community, and the friends I’ve been so lucky to make thru this space (much love)!! Thank you for reading—fic, or this weird scrawl on my blog, or both—anyway, thanks! means a lot and always has! have a wednesday treat of some kind + treat urself nice ! who knows how to end these things. Alexa turn off earnestpost. Earnestposting end. Stop Post

[beartitled]

Hello there!! I was looking through some of the discord shenanigans posts and I was just wondering if you’re accepting new members?

Hi! Well first of all, glad you enjoyed the comics! It means a lot to know that you enjoyed those silly shenanigans ❤️

Sadly I’ve already left the server recently, so can’t really help much 🤷

For ppl curious my rambling, as always, will be under read more👇

As for you question:

the server’s called “TSP creators club”

yes, I believe they still accept new members, you can contact @/kelpiekidd or @/heckinrissa I think (not tagging them, to not disturb them)

They’re mods there, should help with it 🤷

This might sound weird to some ppl bc I was heavily associated with TSPcc

To be frank I wouldn’t be where I am right now, if not TSPcc: I would’ve never stuck with The Stanley Parable for as long as I did, never could’ve met so many wonderful creative people (many of whom are my friends right now)

+the server kick-started my recognition as a creator

For that I’m thankful and still look back at this part of my life with a warm smile

But nothing can last forever

(god I’m saying it like something horrible happened, which is not the case)

Basically

The reasons are mostly the same as why I left the TNP fic*: I’m not active on the server + most of my friends left from there

(*TNP - The Narrative Parable fanfic – a collaborative project involving many other creators and narrators)

So um yea, this might not be enough of a reason

But I will not do a whole comic on “The history of TSP fandom” right 📓🖋️

(oh wait I might actually 😭💥 you will maybe get this joke far in the future)

___________________

I also want to address

Discord Shenanigans aged, quite a lot

I do not regret making those comics, I still like them to this day

But

That content is not something I want to be known for, to me, it’s part of the past

I look back at them as archived memories

They are like an old photo album of sorts 📒

____________________

This does not mean I’m leaving TSP fandom

Want to be clear on that one

I still enjoy the game and the community it built around itself

Yes I still enjoy the fandom, despite meaningless drama in the community that ruins the fun for everyone

(It’s my first fandom I was a part of, I’m biased ok 😈)

‼️ I do not justify any messed up people who are or were in the fandom ‼️

What I’m trying to say that drama/creepy people are just part of any fandom experience honestly

I totally understand people who just don’t want to be a part of the fandom, it’s reasonable and valid. I’ve heard some really messed up stuff, I don’t know the full extent of every situation and don’t want to discuss it. I don’t believe I have the right, nor the information to even mention it. Creeps are not a fandom’s problem, creeps are just a problem.

And if people don’t want to address those situations: do not harass them with questions. If people want to address their experience or thoughts, they will. If they don’t want to start drama/don’t feel comfortable/just simply don’t want to - you should respect their decision. No person is obligated to report anything to the crowd.

On the side note (since I can’t shut up) - Barry

I kinda 👀

I kinda wanna explore him as a character and tell the story I made for him 👀✨

I will make a separate post about him later down the road

But as for now: yes the potential story revolves around tsp + Narratorverse aspects, yes I may abandon that idea bc of how complicated it is, yes I’m talking and overthinking too much - we will get there when we get there 🤚

So I’m still here, I still care about tsp creators: they do amazing stuff and they are wonderful people

As always sorry for that scroll of text 👉👉 thanks for your time, see you in the next random huge text post 👋

[bragiedfili]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers <3🧡

Thank you for this! It’s taken me awhile to think of what to say 😅

1. The two little boys I nanny for. They are my whole world. I’m considered their second mom (they even call me mom and their mom fully embraces it). Starting working for them four years ago literally saved my life when I started. I was going through the toughest time I’ve ever been though and this job came along and it literally picked me up and made me whole (or as whole as I can be) they make me so happy

2. My dog. Even though it’s been three years sines he passed he still makes me happy. I have lots of pictures him on my bedroom wall, a necklace with his face engraved, another necklace with some of his ashes in it sitting on my bedside table so he’s always near me. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of him and even though it’s still so tough, he always brings a smile to my face whenever I think about him and see his pictures

3. My upcoming trip to New Zealand. Even though it’s a year away it makes me so happy planning it. Yes it’s also super stressful planning but I get so excited looking up new things to go do. I just extended the trip to be half a month now and I get to celebrate Christmas, new years, and my birthday there. Plus I have four tours of hobbiton scheduled haha. It’s very much a Tolkien inspired trip. I’m also debating on if I want to take surfing lessons on my birthday. But right now looking forward to that trip makes me so happy

4. The hobbit. It might sound silly but that book and movie series makes me so happy! I’ve never been able to find a book/movie that I actually like for more than a few months. For some reason I’ve connected to it and it’s one of the very few things that beings me so much joy. It’s changed my life so much since last year when I decided to watch and read it. It’s what’s inspired my New Zealand trip. And I was also going to delete my tumblr (right around the time I first watched the first movie) and I decided to look up the fandom and I’m so glad I did. I’ve met so many amazing people, a best friend, such amazing fan art, fics, I love it. It’s brought me so much happiness

5. My parents and my sisters. My sisters and I will fight like crazy one minute then be best fiends the next but that’s what makes it all worth it. Now that we’re all adult we get along so much better, do more things together, travel together and have the best time. My parents are the best people I know. My mom is one of my best friends and both my parents are the most kindest, selfless people you will ever meet. They make me so happy and so loved. There are times when we get so annoyed with each other and fight (sisters and parents lol) but we also love each other so much and are so loyal

[tampatom12]

your top 5 favorite Gronkady moments?

Anon, this question was both extremely easy and also extremely hard to answer!!!!

Each of these moments means so much to me. They define who they are to each other and furthermore, show how much they truly love one another. 🥺🥹🤧💞

But first, before I get into the moments...!!

If you're new here to my blog or to the NFL fandom in general and don't understand the term "Gronkady":

Gronkady is the ship name for Rob "Gronk" Gronkowski and Tom Brady, two people who used to play for the New England Patriots and then the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

As you will see below, their history together is legendary!!

Now, onto the moments themselves. 🤩🥳🔥💯💥

I have decided to start with number five and count backwards to my ultimate Tom and Rob moment.

I also have four other bonus moments in mind that are just as important, but simply didn't make the Top Five overall...let me know if y'all wanna find out what those are!!

So now, without further ado, here are my

Top Five Gronkady Moments!!!!

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

5). The first time they met!

Rob has told this story multiple times to a variety of sources over the years and he always tells it the same way:

He was in the locker room, taping up his ankle. Tom came over to him, held out his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Tom."

Instead of saying, "Yeah, I know," or worse, not saying anything at all, Rob said back, "And I'm Rob! Nice to meet you, man!"

This simple interaction between them may not seem like much, but it was the conversation that stated it all, even though at this point, they still had to formally begin building their relationship on and off the field.

✨✨✨

4). Rob's video edit/tribute that he posted back when Tom retired for the first time!

✨✨✨

This video contains so many wonderful highlights of the public time that they spent together!!

It also features key but underrated moments between them. (Like when Rob says hi to Tom when he's in the parade and is *so* happy that Tom got number six!)

Additionally, it a visual representation of what their bond has been like over the years!

PLUS!!!

The entire thing is set to Queen's "You're My Best Friend"!!!!!

Here it is for you to see for yourself on Rob's Insta page and here it is on YouTube.

(((I highly recommend looking at his caption on the Insta post!! ⬇️)))

✨✨✨

3). The time that they were at a Boston Red Sox game together!

This short clip is so damn chaotic in the best possible way. It is simply SO. THEM. through and through!!

We also got this amazing photo out of that specific day!! :D🥺🥹🤧😍🥰

✨✨✨

2). BAD BOYS FOR LIFE!!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady)

One of the things that I think about the most when it comes to iconic couples is how they all seem to have a little catch-phrase that is theirs and theirs alone.

For Tom and Rob, this catch-phrase is Bad Boys for Life.

It all started back in 2019 for the 2018 season after the Patriots won the NFC championship game against the Kansas City Chiefs.

Tom posted this to his Insta page and though I didn't see it when he first posted it because I wasn't at all a fan of his, when I did finally see it, something about it changed me. Them being all showboaty but also silly *and* alone yet together like this is the stuff that fanfics get written about. 💗💓💞

And real quick, just to clarify, "alone yet together" means that they weren't around anyone else in that video but that they were still together as a couple!!

✨Anyway, now that that's cleared up welcome back to the feature presentation!!:✨

So furthermore, the chosen song and it's lyrics are super important for that moment.

Aside from the key one of "Bad Boy for Life", there's also "We ain't goin' nowhere; we can't be stopped now".

Realistically, I know that this is a reference to the entire team and how they all can't be stopped now/aren't going anywhere now that they have won everything except for the Super Bowl at that point.

However, it is worth reading into and noting that Tom and Rob are the only ones who made a video like this.

They could have chosen anyone else to do that with and yet...!!! They decided to exclusivelymake that video with each other. (((Insert the screeching cat emoji, AHHHHHHHH emoji, all the Kermit heart emojis here)))

Not only that, but it is important to me to note that Tom is the one who is holding the phone/camera and is doing the recording. He clearly *wanted* to be in that moment, making a firm memory of his time and opportunity with Rob.

Of course the editing/song part of it all came later, but I don't feel like Tom would have let his social media people choose that song if he didn't feel that it fully fit the moment. He wanted that song to be a part of their legacy just as much as he wanted the world to see them together like how they are within that video.

✨✨AND!!!✨✨

They remade it in 2021!! 🤩🥳🔥💯🙌🏻💞:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady)

✨✨So now, the moment you all have been waiting for...

Here is my ULTIMATE Gronkady moment!!!✨✨

1). Absolutely everything about them together Tampa!!

As I'm sure all of you can tell based on my url alone, I LOVE the Tampa version of Tom SO MUCH.

I've said this before but I don't care; I'm sayin' it again:

Tom was very much a difference person in Tampa than what he had been in New England. His work ethic and overall beliefs/philosophies were the same, BUT he also began to show the public more of his true, easy-going personality from the moment that he arrived in Tampa. He clearly felt free to have more fun than what he ever had before and he wasn't afraid to show it.

And it's not like he didn't have lots of fun in New England because I know that he did.

But there was just something about him moving to a year-round sunshine-filled climate that set off who he had secretly been all along and who he wanted to be moving forward.

Basically, he still worked hard and had just as much fun in Tampa as what he had in New England, but Tampa offered him up a new chance to be more easy-going and super goofy at times!!

✨All of that having been said, to get back into the Gronkady of it all:✨

As we all (probably) know, Rob retired for the first time in 2019, after he and the Patriots had won the 2019 Super Bowl for the 2018 season. He left New England and went on to do retired football guy things while Tom suffered through one of the Patriots worst years ever.

Now, fast forward to March of 2020. Tom has announced that he's leaving New England and is going to, out of all of the teams within the NFL, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

A month later, in April of 2020, Rob announces that he is officially coming out of retirement to play with Tom on the Buccaneers.

Alright, and now...

This is the part of the story that everyone still isn't so sure about because both men have had conflicting takes on it.

Not conflicting bad, just conflicting in the sense that for some reason, they don't want the public to find out the behind-the-scenes details of what was really said between them.

They want to keep that part of it private/to themselves, and as much as the nosy person in me needs to know what went down for real, I also completely respect them saving a part of this story just for themselves. 🥺🥹🤧💗

All of the above having been said...!!

While the main theory about how they reunited is still up for debate, what many think to have happened is that Tom asked Rob to come back and play with him. Did they have discussions between each other about all of this beforehand? Probably. Will we, the general public, ever know for sure if this was the case? Most likely not.

At the end of the day, the bottom line is this:

Rob was fully in retirement, happy to be free of all of the responsibilities that come with being an active NFL player, when all of a sudden, his non-brother best friend and bad boy partner for life decides to leave New England and head south.

No matter how it happened or what they may or may not talked about before hand, Rob literally came. out. of. retirement (!!!!!!!!!!!) just so that he could play football with Tom again. 🥺🥹😭🤧😍🥰🧡🤍

Why else would he have done that if he wasn't at least a little bit in love with Tom?!

The game had always been very hard on Rob's body; he had so many injuries throughout the first part of his career. 😔😥

By all means, it would have made sense for him to simply stay retired while rooting Tom on from the sidelines.

But he didn't. He wanted to reunite with "the only quarterback he ever wanted to play for" in a place that was far away from New England, both geographically as well as culturally.

Them reuniting in Tampa proves how deep their bond is and how much they admire, trust and respect each other.

Additionally, aside from playing together again, they got to make some extremely cute and fun videos together!!!

This video series are a big reason that got me to see and understand Tom and Rob as more than "Tom Brady (™️)" and "Rob 'GRONK!' Gronkowski".

It is important that they agreed to make this video series in the first place and is a true testament to their commitment to have fun and be free with each other in their new home. 🥺🥹🤧💞

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

So there you have it!!

My Top Five Gronkady Moments!!!! 🤩🥰🥳🔥💯💥🙌🏻💗

I hope that this gives you a good idea of what Tom and Rob are all about and how much they mean to each other!! :D

Also, thank you so much for your patience!!! I received this ask back in November and meant to answer it then but then got distracted by other life things. 😔

I definitely appreciate that you asked about them though, as it has given me an opportunity to talk about some of my favorite people!!! 💞

So once again, thank you, anon!!

We can definitely talk more sometime if you want to!! ☺️

[whumpty-dumpty-doo]

Omg guys! I've been officially whumping for a whole year!

That's really crazy to think about! I enjoyed whump (and had been writing it as part of larger, non-whump stories) for decades before this blog, but I'll never forget how brain-altering and life changing it was to discover that there was a name for it and a whole community dedicated to it!

I'm so glad to have found whumplr. The challenges and events have helped me to write more and improve upon my craft, it's been a great creative outlet, I've met amazing friends, read some fantastic stories, and overall I'm having a really wonderful time! It always cracks me up how sometimes the people who make and enjoy the most twisted stuff are also some of the sweetest, most kind people. This community is surprisingly one of the most chill, drama-free fandoms I've been a part of over the years.

I don't always feel like I fully fit in with the community at large (I'm not quite sure that I've fully found "my people" or "my corner" of the whump community as a whole yet), but to those who have been kind to me, thank you so much! <3 I know that whump can contain taboo subject matter, and even though I'm in my adult years, I'm still kind of discovering some of that and exploring it for the first time. I really am appreciative of those who are patient while I figure things out, and I wanna thank those who stick around when I share spicer stuff on this blog. It really means a lot to be in a space where I can delve into new (to me) topics without judgment, as I haven't really had that opportunity or safe space much in my life.

Also, a HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to my readers!! I know that the release schedule for "We Are TroubleD" is kind of a nightmare as I jump all over the timeline, but I'm really thankful for those who read my work, enjoy it, reblog, like, comment, or otherwise interact.

I've been working on writing a non-whump book series for a few years now, and while that's been fun, it's one of those things that I have to shut my mouth and keep quiet about until it's done since I want to eventually publish those.

... Not so with my whump series here! It's been so incredible to release entries as I finish them and to see people's reactions to my creative writing. I don't really put my work out for people to read much (spare for one fanfic I wrote almost 10 years ago that I still need to complete...), so this has been very special to me! It's rewarding in a way that writing my books hasn't been yet (because I'm not showing those to anyone until they're fully done!), and again, just thank you so much for encouraging me to keep going! The love and comments motivate me in such a powerful way! I love you guys!

Overall, I'm so happy to be in the whumpsphere! A close friend came to visit me back in the spring, and when I told them about whump I was scared as heck at first, but as I talked about it more, my eyes lit up and I got a lot more excited, animated, and downright chipper. My friend pointed that out to me and said they could see how happy it made me, and I've never forgotten about that.

It's silly, isn't it?! But it's a safe way to explore some dark stuff and to work through emotions. I know that not all whump stories end in triumph, but I'm always a sucker for happy endings, and I hope for the best outcome in everything that I read. I love to see characters coming out of bad and bleak situations as survivors- It gives me hope for the outside world when bad things happen in real life.

I dunno how to end this... but I guess happy whump birthday to me! Thanks for joining me on this strange adventure over the past year, and I hope you stick around for many more years to come! <3

[violettavonviolet]

1 Million Hits

I'm gonna hit a million hits on my ao3 account next week, which is genuinely just crazy and I've been debating what to do for the occasion for like a month now bc I don't want to be self-absorbed but also it's literally a million(!!!) so I feel like I should celebrate anyways. I haven't come up with anything yet, but just know that I'm literally flabbergasted with all the attention... Like, I garnered 500k+ hits in the last year and it's such a huge compliment lmao

I get sappy rlly easily as u might have noticed, but I'm just astounded really. Especially because I didn't even start learning English until fifth grade. (Which was a terribly long time ago, to be fair)

When I return to some of the oldest fics I've written, I tend to cringe and I've been debating either taking them down or editing them, but I don't know if I ever actually will.

The point is, I love fan fiction, I love the community I've found on here over the years and most of all, I love writing.

(Who knows, one day, I might actually publish a book instead of these silly little stories. That day isn't today, but a girl can dream)

-- this is the point to stop if u don't want to read about my history in fandom spaces, which is apparently what this post is turning into--

I started reading fanfics bc of the German equivalent to buzzfeed were u could do quizzes and get tiny xreader fics as a result. I quickly changed over to German fan fiction.de which was my first real love lmao

The stories also got weirdly popular for the fact that I couldn't do punctuation for shit and I didn't reread my stories bc I was too embarrassed.

What luck that I started learning English pretty quickly and I changed to wattpad, until the fateful day in 2018 when I found my way to ao3 (honestly the best accident that has ever happened in my life)

It took me over a year to even make an account but it definitely changed my life for the better. I've met so many amazing people through challenges and general communities on here and especially during covid I don't know what I would've done without ao3.

I think this is just my love letter to fanfiction at this point. Like genuinely, I love everything about fandom spaces and the culture around it and I love that I can write and get feedback and read (for free, which was actually why I changed from physical books to fanfiction in the first place)

It means that for fandom, I'm actually pretty old, and everyday more people join, which is of course amazing, especially because more people are willing to actually talk about it irl (I'm ngl the first few years being publicly in fandoms was a bit rough lol) I mean, I was active in fandom spaces since what, 2014?? A while.

I've grown up with fandoms and now I'm gonna hit a million in the next week, probably on my flight to London and it all just feels surreal in the best way possible.

So thank you, I guess.

Thank you for fan fiction authors and ao3 and all the spaces where people can just enjoy being people.

this got way longer than intended but I just needed to get this off my chest

[hiro-doodlez]

To prev tags (I just put them in my tags)

There was homophobia in the fandom?? Im pretty sure everyone I met in the fandom was really.. NOT straight to say the least lmfao

I mean, when I was in the peak of the Hyperfixation I was either 12 or 13 so of course I was kinda weird about it. Plus you can't generalize an entire fandom based on the most terrible things a handpicked couple of people in it has done (OTHER THAN COUNTRY HUMANS HOLY SHIT BLUEGHHHH I should put country humans in my DNI LMFAO. that fandom is just racism but try to make it cute)

I mean, EVERY fandom is gonna have some good sides and bad sides, and I feel like since DSMP got so big the bad side of things became more and more noticeable to everyone outside of it

Also, about the rude part, in my DSMP phase I met one of my closest and nicest friends I have ever had, Val. (VAL IF YOU SEE THIS HI!!!! HIIIII!!!!! ILY!!) We met on a silly Minecraft server because I was in a faction called "philzas murder" and we were just jumping and hitting each other and having fun

She knows more about me and the shit I've been through than my entire family probably combined. She always understands when I'm upset, she is always is there and always has supported me even after my interests shifted about a million times. She is so incredibly kind and caring I could never have asked for a better friend. I remember randomly joining the server and checking the list of people online, and literally just leaving if she wasn't online. When I was still figuring out if I was Aro/Ace or not, I asked her for some help and she was fully willing to date me for a day and to test things out, and alsk if I would like to be in a QPR. Then when I finally figured it out, she was extremely proud of me and watched multiple videos on what it's like and how to support me. I have literally considered MULTIPLE TIMES moving to her country and hanging out with her practically EVERY DAY. And this all started because we both liked this stupid Minecraft server. Because we both liked the DSMP

I understand being iffy about the fandom but you have to consider that to some people, it was a HUGE comfort. During that part of my life I was healing from so many things and trying to get better (and be better), and at that time DSMP happened to be my form of escapism. I was having trouble making friends and was so sure everyone hated me, but seeing all of these people laugh and genuinely having fun made me have some sense of hope that one day things could and would get better. (I know it's stupid SHHHH) val ended up being the first person who showed me pure and genuine kindness, and it all started because we liked DSMP, the fandom that everyone thinks is pure evil

Also, I don't know if it's worth mentioning but it's also the reason I STARTED (and continued) drawing. AND NOW LOOK AT ME!!

I mean, hell yeah dream fucking sucks and there's tons of people in the fandom that are terrible but that doesn't mean EVERYONE there sucks. The fandom is huge and has so many amazing people it's genuinely amazing

(also prev tags person ty for telling me about this and I'm not mad IN THE SLIGHTEST. Just giving out my take on this because I've been wanting to say this for a LONNGGG time. Also please don't get mad at me for this SODJALSL)

((also sorry for long rant AKDNALSKSN))

Ok wait genuine question for Tumblr, why does everyone hate dream SMP so much??

[pianostarinwonderland]

I have a question and I don't know who to ask, so I apologize if this is too weird for you orz. Just like what happens to other people, I met TWST believing that it was an otome because many pages said that it was. The lie bothered me but I still love the game the way it is. The thing is that since I'm in the fandom there are a lot of people who say "I'm happy that twst is not an otome", so my question is: why do people say that? I know it's a matter of taste but sometimes I feel that saying that is as if they hate otome games or that to a certain extent they hate people who fall in love with the characters and make romantic fanfics or fanarts with their MCs. For a while I thought it could be that in most otomes the characters are toxic, the MCs are made very submissive and even silly, and that on many occasions you can't help a character with their problems if you don't follow their route, the complete opposite of TWST. There's also the fact that there are people who generally don't like romance games, but I don't know, I feel like there's something more to it.

Hello! Don't apologize, I actually find your question fascinating.~ I just took long with answering this because thinking of answers took a while.

As someone who has been in this fandom for a while, I'd say there are two reasons why people are very relieved that TWST is not an otome.

Firstly, it is mainly due to the story. Some otome games have really bad stories while other otome games have compelling ones. But many tend to have this storyline where the guy has this character development because of the protagonist, which frankly gives this unrealistic expectation that love, specifically romantic love, will fix you and nothing else would.

However, with TWST, the characters develop not necessarily because of the protagonist. They fall in their pits, either because of themselves or someone else, and they suffer for it. But they also grow from it in different ways, whether it's visible or not. It's not like, "Oh love will fix all your problems." No, your problems don't go away by finding the One, but you have to tackle them yourself. You have to learn from your mistakes, and that takes a lot of time.

Take Leona for example. He's a character who's rather cynical, even speculated to be depressed, due to his upbringing where he was always scorned while his older brother was loved. If this was an otome, Leona's route would have him venting his Tragic Backstory™️ to the player. The player says things like, "You're my king, Leona. I think you're amazing." And somehow, that makes Leona all like, "Okay, I got a lot of work to do to recover, but thank you for loving me," while looking happier than you'd ever see him.

Point is, in an otome, Leona's growth would have only happened because he got a lover in his life. And well, it's awesome to have someone who comes into your life and changes you for the better. A lot of relationships have ended up like that. But it's unrealistic to expect that your true love will come in and solve all your problems because... that's simply not how everything goes. Many problems need to be solved by having the person undergoing through it to make the decision to change and do something about it.

But in the actual story, Leona's character development is more subtle. Does he change for the better? Not exactly. But is he changing? Yes, and subtly so. And that's realistic, because a lot of people don't just change overnight or even in two weeks. Take note as well of the kind of character he is. Leona is the kind of person who isn't so easily shaken up by many things, even something like Overblot, especially when he is established to be a wise character who knows and has seen a lot.

TWST's story not being an otome allows for more flexibility to write deeper relationships. Otomes are made to write dating stories—they have a goal of making the player feel loved (or may immerse the player into a darker romance story, depending on the kind of game it is). Other relationships, especially those between the characters, won't be given as much depth and/or focus as the main relationship between you and the lover.

As an example, let's take Kalim and Jamil. For nearly all his life, Jamil has had to serve Kalim, but he grew very tired of that, to put it simply. It caused him to plan how to overthrow Kalim without being pointed at as the suspect, and we all know how that turned out. However, note that in the end, they didn't totally make up. Many things were left unsaid between them, and they weren't all buddy-buddy with each other. And that's a sign of really good writing. It mirrors real life relationships—when complicated issues arise between you and another person, you won't have your relationship repaired right away. You and the other person will need time to heal and process. With the way the story continues, we may even see a development between Kalim and Jamil, just that it will be very slow, gradual, probably even subtle.

If TWST was an otome, I don't think we'd have relationships written with such complexity. Otomes are meant to put focus on the player; even if any disagreements or conflicts occur, in the end, the player and the love interest will most likely make up and make out. If such disagreements happen between the characters, it might not be explored as much because the focus is meant to be on your romance. TWST's story allows for such deep relationships between characters because they aren't restricted to focus so much on satisfying the player. Yes, they have some degree of fan service, as seen in some of the card lines and lesson lines, but it isn't the main focus.

The second reason is that the current story of TWST allows more room for creativity for fans to imagine what a romance with the boys would be like. The romance genre is so popular in the fandom for this reason. There isn’t a prewritten storyline that makes everyone think, “Oh so this is how they fall for you.” There also isn’t an MC with a specific design or certain personality traits that the boys would love—you can imagine yourself rather than a preset MC being the one having a romance with the character. No need to see an MC with a skin color different from your own, a gender opposite of yours, or a personality trait that is the complete opposite of you, you can imagine the boy(s) loving all of you.

Instead of reading a route that shows how the boys would fall for an MC, fans can imagine how they would fall in love based on the way they interact with characters. Say Azul for example, if he had a canon route, he might have made us sign a contract to go on a date or something. Then he’d end up falling in love with the player for three days because of the power of kindness or something. People would mostly think about that canon story and analyze it, maybe a few OCs with stories differing from the canon. But without that canon route, we can wonder more: “How can Azul fall for me? Maybe we both get into witty arguments all the time and we clown eventually.” And this satisfies players more because they’re not analyzing a relationship between Azul and a person meant to be representing them but may not necessarily be the same as them. They can imagine themselves to be in the relationship more easily. TWST’s story is more immersive that way, which really helps in the fan service department.

It’s likely that many people wouldn’t think of this as the first reason as to why they’re glad TWST is an otome. I’d say the first answer really is the story. But it can’t be denied that more people do get to have more room for imagination as to how the boys can fall in love with them.

[astro-inthestars]

Adding positivity to the dash! Whats something *you* deem as special about someone in your life you think about? Why is it special?

SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT SOMEONE SPECIAL TO ME?!?!??! YOU'RE ASKING ME THIS????

WELL SHIT BESTIE I MAY BE LATE BUT YOU ASKED THE DARN RIGHT PERSON

AHEM AH E M M MM

Starting off strong!!

@clausgender - Lake Landon Lazuli Phas Claus. Okay but. For real right now you changed my life I really can't specify why and how but you just did. Something special about you is just how... proud you are. Life has thrown shit at you, but you gave no fucks and threw some right back. You're amazing and you've taught me so much. I look up to you. It's kinda funny, you are one of the most human people I know, yet I know you want to be anything but a human being <3 (also everyone else in the chaosites have their own special thing but god knows how long that'll be but just let them know they're all epic and awesome <333)

@brainless-but-thats-all - Bee you are here by default bestie when the Lake is here you must be as well. You are both soul bound. You cannot escape. /hj But seriously you're here because you are also very special to me <333 What I find special about you is your silliness! This is not a surprise <3 You're just a silly guy! No matter what you do, you're just inherently very silly! Your texting habit is silly, your roleplay is silly, and even when you give advice you're silly! Not messing around kinda silly, you're sweet and soft about it. You don't let anything be too serious! It's refreshing ya know? And you and Lake just click, your friendship is really nice to witness :]

@slymanner - Tony bestie I know we just formally got to know each other about two months ago but it already feels like forever burger bro. Something special about you is just how alike we are! Remember we first got a long because we had the same vibes? You remind me of me and it just felt like we were meant to click. But remember, you're more than that to me! You're silly, you're funny, you're kind, and you're chaotic as heck <333 You're awesome. Burger bros against the world!

@joyflameball - Cassie Rose you are awesome and you are an obligatory part of this list *holds you like a cat by the scruff* you cannot escape my positivity and love. Something special about you is how utterly unhinged you are, and yes, it seems I'm very drawn to unhinged people! With all your passions you're just so deranged about them /pos it's inspiring how passionate you are that it makes you want to bite a piece of media and shake it like a chew toy <3

@ghost-vessel - GHOST MY BIG SIB HIIII one of my many online siblings <333 Met you through Deltarune but totally met met you as a person through Omori! What a chance amirite? And I'm glad I did! To me, something special about you is how calm you are! Like, you're easy to talk to... You're super duper chill and just an all around great guy(gnc)! Just random talks with you is really nice, sib!

@just-jammin - JUST JAMMIN LYRIC LYR JAM PRIDEDRAFT X!!! One of the ogs fr <33 I've known em since I first got on Tumblr in the Six the Musical fandom- Yeah weird first Tumblr Fandom don't ask <3 Something special about you to me is how helpful you are! Or moreover how you're always so willing to help. It's not always a good thing to try to help everyone, trust me I know. But either way you still try your best to help! Wherever you end up next is gonna be your call, but I know you'll still be trying to help anyone along the way. Just don't forget to help yourself sometimes, okay? You're worth more than who you help or what you make!

@ayyyyysexual - Void sibestie omg... here is another online sibling of mine <3 ....Actually almost everyone on this list is almost a sibling to me.... huh. Well anyways! VOID OH MY GOD heyyyyy :] my favorite triple A battery (i think?? unless you're demi now because of a certain someone ;)- OKAY I'M GOING) Something special about you is how utterly chaotic you are- HAHA I'M SERIOUS! You're just so chaotic I really can't imagine how'd it be if you weren't! Or how'd it be if I didn't have it in my life! You're a silly little abyss ya know?

@bloop-arts - BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP THEOOOOOOO HAIIII surprise surprise, another sibling! ....I have a lot of siblings that lack a gender. Anyways, Bloopothy....... Paps! Something special about you is your inherent warmth.... And by that I mean your vibes are just so.. warm! It's hard to describe them any way else! You're very kind and bright and you just have this comforting warmth that's very special to me! And I'm sure it's special to a lot of people too! Papapapapap

@borkthemork - Bork.... Borky Bork Bork whose real name is really pretty but I'm still afraid to use! One of the coolest ever.... You didn't think I'd put in BLOOP and not put in the BORK didja??? Nononono my friend! They are a package deal! A duo! Set: Do Not Separate! To me, something special about you is your autism swag! I'm kidding, partially- But in all seriousness its your patience. I would say smarts, your intelligence, your calm and collected attitude, but in the end those all tie into your patience! Your patience with people, your patience with yourself, your patience with understanding others and your own emotions. It's nice...

@cute-as-buttons - SASHA!!! BUTTONS!!! MOOOOMMMM!!! First parent on the list <3 You became my parent out of association with my dad, who is your ex, so you are my ex-step-mom but either way you're still a mom to me <333 Something special about you to me is your sweetness. It seems simple, right? But, you should know that simple things can be beautiful. You have a nice warm energy to you, somewhat akin to Bloop's, but it's certainly catered to your own. Your kindness just makes you seem.... alive. Real. Human. You laugh, you cry, you joke, you smile, you live. It's good.

And now for the general mentions!

@pyroclastic727 @honneibun @maritasdump @ectoplasmic-knife @miraclesprinkles @mira-blue @wormautopsy @generalyunan @ohyoumeanher and everyone else in the Amphibia server, those I missed! You are all so special to me. Though you guys are HUGE and there's a lot of you, you all make me feel at home with your chaos. Your art, your writing, your jokes, your drama, all of it. It's one big frog community and we're all just enjoying where the chemicals in the water are taking us <3

@ask-the-daeu-mod-hub everyone in the utdr askblog fandom, you guys opened me back up to close knit communities after a while of just being in my own bubble.... You were all the gateway, the start of my true freedom. The silly bullshit we all get into, the angst, the lore, the memes- Honestly, you guys changed my life. I was in the Amphibia server before this, but I was honestly still kinda messed up.... you guys really helped. Thank you.

And all my old friends from the beginning of tumblr, @djts-arts @altairtalisman @spooner7308 @san-shui @cryptidmuppet @pandora-dusk my bunfriend, and a lot more. You guys were the real start of it all. Seriously, where would I be without you all? If it weren't for you guys, I probably wouldn't have survived this hellsite. Thanks, for guiding me til I can stand on my own. I'm glad to know that I have a lot of people catching me if I fall though.

[ghoste-catte]

I was curious what advice would you give to someone new to writing fics? I've been wanting to get back into it but haven't seriously written something since high school. I hope this isn't an annoying question or anything!

Not an annoying question at all! I'm just a little worried that I won't have terribly good or useful advice. To be honest, I also sort of stopped writing in earnest right as I finished high school, and didn't pick it back up until my late 20s. It's certainly an adjustment! But I think the few things that really helped me get back into writing fic as a hobby and something I spend quite a bit of time on would be:

Write for yourself first, then find your other motivations. My original inspiration in getting back into fic writing was that there just were not that many fics I liked for my favorite pairing, and I wanted more of them, and I especially wanted more with the tropes and characterizations I wanted to see. I think at the very core of anything you need that internal spark that drives you. At the same time, for me at least, if I just relied on my own drive, I would not get much done; I need some external guardrails. So having people send prompts, or writing for particular events, or writing stuff for friends really helps me to get my ass in gear and finish stuff. That may not be the perfect motivator for you, and that's fine! You just gotta figure out what is.

Be open to inspiration. Anything and everything can be spun out into a story with the right tweaking. Obviously stuff like music is a classic inspiration source, but I've also pulled ideas from poetry, from memes, from Reddit threads, from YouTube videos, from rambling conversations on Discord and from real life to make fics out of. So many times, someone will post a silly Twitter screencap, and I'll think, There's a fic in this. And a lot of the time, there is! Research is a wonderful thing, but so is serendipity. If you're out there actively looking for ideas, eventually one that you like will stumble past you.

Find your community. I can genuinely say I never would have finished more than one fic if I didn't have fandom friends to talk to about even stupid headcanons, to bounce ideas off of, and to encourage me (and to encourage them in turn!). Discord has been a godsend, and some of my closest online friends are people I met in the GaaLee discord server. As I've gotten more comfortable as a writer, I've also joined general writing servers and Reddit communities and have found them immensely helpful on both a motivational level (bingos, sprints, owe-me challenges) and on a craft level (plot workshopping and writing ethics and live grammar help). It's a lot easier to think about fic ideas and hash through problem moments when I have a constant stream of fandom-related chatter coming from the little people who live in my phone! Ao3 is an amazing website, and it's great as, well, an archive, but it isn't social media by design. If you want conversation and human connection and cheerleading, you've gotta forge out and find it.

Make it a habit ... If you want to produce anything longer than a couple hundred words, you really have to set aside time for it. And writing is just like knitting or dirt biking or painting little model figurines: the more you do it, the more easily it comes. When I was first getting back into the proper swing of things, I committed myself to 30 minutes of writing per week. Just 30 minutes. I didn't even hit that goal every week, but there were tons of weeks I got on a roll and went over that amount, and by the end of the year I'd written over 200,000 words. I used to spend an hour laboriously tip-tapping out 200 words, but now I can easily blow through 1k in a 50 minute sprint. It's all about training that muscle.

... But don't make it a chore. With fanfic, you aren't doing this as a job, and you aren't ultimately doing it for anyone other than you. That means you can take breaks when you need them, you can set deadlines and then fail to meet them, you can write stuff and then decide to never post it. When you start getting burnt out, when the practice loses the joy and energy, stop. There's no 'hustle' here. In our capitalist society we're so trained to push past our limits and keep going even when it hurts us, but the hobby you do for connection and relaxation and whatever else shouldn't be like that.

Ignore metrics. Sometimes stuff isn't gonna get hits, or kudos, or comments. There are some basic 'rules' as to the stuff that does and doesn't get traction, but every time you post something it's a roll of the dice. If you're focused on watching that kudos counter tick up, you will get bummed out fast. And any writer will tell you that the stuff you think is your best work will never be the stuff that gets the most accolades. So you have to find something else to give you a sense of success. For me, it's watching my wordcount go up in my stats and those occasional comments where someone has a lot to say and that one person who always leaves me a <3 emoji (and, shout out to @egregiousderp, having someone to have long one-on-one conversations with about the stuff that never made it to page).

Don't strive for perfection. It's really easy to want your first ever fic to be a complete showstopper, the best fic fandom has ever seen, hitting all the tropes and the ideas and the characterization that you just know fandom is missing and would be everyone's top favorite if only it was written. This is a trap. No one fic can be all things. Most people who want to write an epic as their very first venture will not see the end of that epic, because they haven't put in the practice hours to make something on that scale work. That's not to say you can't start out with a big, sprawling multichap, just don't expect it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread if you're just starting out, and be okay with abandoning it for greener pastures if you get to that point. Think of the first time someone makes a vase out of clay or bakes a loaf of bread. That's never their best vase or their best bread. If they keep up with it, they'll make more and better vases and loaves. Likewise, your first fic is probably not gonna be your best fic. See it for what it is: your launchpad.

You can't edit an empty page, but you can over-edit a full one. This kind of spins off of #7, but if the words aren't there, you can't fix them. Daydreams and headcanons are fantastic (and god, how many times have I wished for a speech-to-text engine that projected my falling asleep thoughts onto a Google doc for later perusal), but they aren't fic. If you want to write fic, you've gotta get comfortable with the idea of sloppy outlines and rough first drafts. You can't build a house without a frame and you can't build a man without a skeleton (I mean, you can, I guess, but he'd be one floppy man). The nice thing about fic is that it doesn't matter if that frame is structurally unsound or the skeleton has 18 too many bones, you can clean that up in the editing process. But you can't start hanging curtains and arranging furniture in something that doesn't even have walls. That's the process. But! Also know when to set down the editor's pen and say, "Okay, this is good enough for government work", and call it done. ("Done" doesn't have to mean "posted", but it does mean, "I'm done picking at this for now, and I'm gonna go write some more stuff".) Over-editing can make stuff seem laborious and forced, and it prevents you from actually improving. To continue belaboring the house metaphor, you can spend your whole life rearranging furniture in just one room, but the end result of that is a pretty narrow existence and a room with a lot of footprints and tracks in the carpet.

Write shit down. When you have ideas, jot them down--in a notebook, in a Google Doc, in the Notes app of your phone, in pen on the back of your hand. You think you will remember that brilliant line of dialogue or sparkling snippet of narration or genius plot that came to you in a dream, but you Will Not. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down! There have been so many times when a fic was completely saved by past!me having written down my shower thoughts about what happens next in the fic, that present!me had completely forgotten about and was floundering over.

Have fun with it! Try different stuff. Try stupid stuff. Try experimental stuff. Do stuff you've never done before that you aren't sure will work. It's important to get comfortable with your niche (for example, I know I'm never going to be the sort of person who writes intricate plots of intrigue or super long 100k epics or detailed battles), but you can't find that niche unless you explore lots of different niches! Figure out what you love and what you absolutely hate, and then keep doing the stuff you love.

Okay, so that was actually TEN things, but ... I hope you still found this helpful. Feel free to send another ask if any of this was confusing or unclear. Good luck with your fic writing and, if you want, send me a link to what you've written once you've written it! I'd love to read it.

[ac3id]

Plaything | 18+ | part i

plaything 1/ ?? | part 0

pairings: yandere! bully bakugou katsuki x fem! reader

warnings: [series] blackmail, bullying, dubcon/ noncon, filming w/o consent, yandere themes, no quirks au. ALL CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE 18 YEARS OF AGE.

↪ for chapter 1: dubcon, blackmail, humiliation, masturbation, filming w/o consent, boot grinding, a little bit of bakusquad + reader....this is filthy :D 

summary: by luck you get enrolled into u.a high the best school in your town. the only catch is that the school is filled with rich, spoilt and powerful brats who just seem to hate you and among them, a certain red eyed blonde dreads you the most

↪ for chapter 1: you bump into bakugou by accident, dropping your vanilla ice cream all over him, you try to apologize and run away but wants more...oh wait why are his friends standing there recording everything too? 

wordcount. 4k+

a/n: sooooo, it’s finally out! huge thanks to @sawamooora for proof reading this! helped me out a lot <3 sorry for making u sit through that mess x[

 this scene was inspired by that one episode of boys over flowers where the mc’s best friend drops ice cream on the main guy’s shoe and he asks the mc to lick it off...obviously that didn’t happen in the show but it really got me thinking...... 

alsO the netflix show elite,,, i just saw it and knew,,,,

taglist: @mocha-focha​, @erenyeagersbasement​ , @haribo-pop, @sunshine-fangs​, @kuremis​, @amazing-fandoms​,

dm/ inbox/ comment to be added/ removed. 

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It was a great opportunity. Never in your life would you have thought you’d manage to land a scholarship at the prestigious U.A Private Academy. 

The school was a dream, the best in your city, and only affordable for the rich. Graduating from such a school could have helped you with life in so many different ways. Not only would it open doors you could never touch before, but it would help you to form connections which would make your life undoubtedly easier.

Graduating from U.A. was a blessing, but obviously, it did not come easy. It was rather unfortunate. After your previous school building had collapsed, due to some accident, the board announced its year-long closure.

At the time, you were beyond lost and understandably frustrated - it was your last year before college and you simply couldn't risk waiting the year out. The whole situation was nerve-wracking, looking for decent schools which would allow you in. 

Honestly, you had no idea what you would’ve done if U.A. hadn’t called you that night. 

It was the last day of the summer holidays, a week after your school building had collapsed. Luckily, no one was hurt - but the damage on the campus was severe. 

You had been talking to your friends when your mother rushed into your room with exciting news. Apparently, the chairman of U.A was feeling generous. He had decided to offer four excellent students from your school a scholarship to U.A. 

You were overjoyed being one of the students along with your two other friends; Shinso Hitoshi and Izuku Midoriya. 

At first, the thought was a little scary - going into a completely different world than you were accustomed to. The kids there would be much different than you, you didn't want to be the   laughing stock, you didn’t want to be their silly little entertainment... The thought made you nervous, but when your best friend, Izuku, called you the next night explaining how he also won the scholarship; followed by Shinso, you were relieved. 

Yes, you were stepping into a whole different world but you at least had your two friends with you. 

And that brought you to the first day of school. 

You stood outside the huge gates of the even enormous academy all alone shaking in your little, expensive skirt they forced you to wear as the uniform waiting for your friends. You promised the two boys you’d wait for them, and besides, you weren’t planning on entering the building all alone. 

Your friends, Shinso and Midoriya, lived close to each other. They were supposed to meet you at the gates of the school that morning, but they were running late. Your anxiety grew the longer you stayed there, with students filling the place- arriving in their fancy cars with their expensive bags and accessories. It easily made you feel out of place.

“Hey,” you heard someone before someone tapped on your shoulder. You quickly turned around to greet the voice. Staring back at you was Uraraka Ochaco.

You remembered she was in your school too, Midoriya has a huge crush on her. 

“Yes, Uraraka? Right?” You weren’t close to her, nothing but mere acquaintances. But seeing her face - right here, right now - it made your day. 

Uraraka was dressed in the same uniform as you, there was no doubt that she was one of the four kids who won the scholarship. Both of you talked while you implored her to wait for Midoriya and Shinso. You didn’t fail to notice the way her cheeks turned pink when you mentioned Midoriya. The two of them were so obvious. 

Your friends arrived, they were late, but they came. 

Apparently, there was an accident that forced them to stay back a little longer, but they managed to make it before the first bell. 

“I actually have an old friend who goes there now,” Midoriya confesses out of the blue as the four of you enter the gates. You look at him in awe. 

During the three years in high school that both of you had spent together, he had never mentioned any friend of his going to the U.A. academy ever. 

“Why did you never tell us?” Uraraka asks. 

“well, we’re not on good terms. He used to live in the same neighborhood before his parent’s business took off. He left after middle school.” Midoriya says, a slight frown forming on his face.

“Who is he?” Shinso asks. 

Midoriya pauses briefly before explaining his entire history with a temperamental and rude blonde. Bakugou Katsuki, he calls him. His childhood friend. But from what you managed to gather, Bakugou was anything but a friend to Midoriya. 

Bakugo was once just a simple boy, living a simple life, destined to do great things - but once his parent’s clothing line ‘Dynamite’ blew up and became mainstream, he started drowning in wealth. Bakugo moved out of his old neighborhood at the starting of high school before enrolling in U.A., just like all his rich friends.

“Maybe you should say hi,” Uraraka suggests. Midoriya’s expressions turned sheepish.

“About that…” he started. “I called him yesterday, got his number from mom, and-” he stopped. 

“What did he say?” Shinso asked.

“He told me to get lost and die,” Midoriya said with a slight frown on his face, looking down. 

That was your first impression of Katsuki Bakugou. For a man you had not even met, you sure loathed him. 

School went smoothly for a week, everything was going great. The four of you kept your profile low, didn’t talk until spoken to, kept your distance, and everything was okay. 

People often starred and whispered amongst each other when they saw you in the hallways, but that was about it. Everyone seemed to be decent but… there’s always a but. 

Everything took a turn for the worse when you managed to piss off the wrong person, Bakugo Katsuki himself. 

It was an honest mistake, not even that big of a deal - especially for his standards Yet, for some reason, Bakugo wanted to get under your skin. 

It happened after your lunch break, you were on your way back to your classroom with an ice-cream cone fasted tightly in your hands. You mindlessly dashed through the hallways, trying your best to get back to class as fast as possible - you don’t want to be late. It’d earn you a bad reputation. You don’t need that- you don't want anything which could jeopardize your scholarship. 

You walked straight and took a turn. Just by fate, you bumped into a stiff, hard chest making you wobble on your feet and sending your ice cream from your hand flying straight to the ground.

“Shit,” you cursed, looking down seeing what you had to work with. 

The ice-cream cone splattered on the floor, the white creamy liquid flushed all over the floor along with staining an expensive-looking, black leather boot. A snarl comes from above you along with a group of chuckles. More expensive shoes come into your line of view as you realize you’re not alone. 

You slowly bring your gaze up, ogling at who you just pissed off. 

Staring back at you is a furious blonde, glaring at you with such intensity that it makes your stomach drop. It’s the infamous Bakugou Katsuki, you don’t want to deal with him. 

-

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” you don’t give him a chance to complain as you take your flight. Quickly, you try running away but a large hand grabs your forearm, stopping you dead in your tracks. 

You look to the side, deep red eyes stare right back at you. 

“Where are you running off to? Don’t you think you owe my friend here a proper apology?” Kirishima says, his grip on your arm growing tighter. He towers over you, his huge body trapping you with intimidation.

Going to U.A for over a week there’s a thing or two that you’ve learned about the rich, snobby brats who own the school. Not everyone is bad, a few of them are actually but the rest are just bad. 

Bakugou was the worst. From how Midoriya described him, you knew for a fact he’d be a horrible person. But hell, he managed to prove himself even worse. 

He was crude, mean, downright arrogant, and ignorant. Always screaming unasked opinions on top of his lungs, and gets mad whenever someone disagrees. He acts like the world revolves around him.

 Bakugo had a bunch of friends who he called his “followers” and they weren’t any better.

They just watched while Bakugou ruined everything, they were there to support him. 

Kirishima Eijirou the redhead, he was captain of the football team. He was a jock, brawns over brains kind of person. Girls cooed over him and his overly attractive, hot body. It looked as if he was sculpted by God himself. 

Next was Kaminari Denki. He was in the school band, dating the lead singer. And yet, he managed to find time to flirt with other girls. He was the goofball of the group, dumb and stupid But he always knew what he was doing. Even though it was barely noticeable, you could always see a devious glint in those amber eyes of his. 

Sero Hanta was famous for a lot of reasons. Most notably for having brought illegal drugs on the campus and skipping classes to go down to his junkie hangout spot to smoke weed. The man had no shame. Sometimes, he’d walk into the classrooms high as fuck. The teachers couldn’t do anything even if they tried, his parents practically owned the school; he owned the school. There was no going against the tall, lanky man who looked like he couldn’t even smash a bug. He held the most power and his friends sure knew how to abuse it. 

Last but not least was Mina Ashido. The one and only girl member of the self-proclaimed ‘bakusquad’. Sometimes, Jirou Kyouka, the lead singer of the school, would hang out with the boys and her boyfriend, but she wasn’t a permanent member. Mina was. 

In your opinion, Mina was a nightmare dressed like a daydream. With her short, pink hair and bright smile, she seemed like an angel. But she was the devil. Worse than even Bakugou, perhaps. 

She knew everything about everyone, she had leverage galore: screenshots ready to leak, videos ready to ruin lives. She had them all, and frankly- she scared you the most. 

Kirishima pushed you back, and Bakugo caught you by your shoulders. 

“That was fucking rude,” he growled, biting his fingers into your shoulder blades tight and hard making you squeal. “Are you fucking blind or something? Fucking extra.” 

“I said I’m sorry, let me go will you?” Even in such a terrifying situation, you try to remain calm.

“What do you think, Sero?” Kaminari began. Your heart sank, including Sero into anything was never a good sign. 

“She ruined Bakugou’s new shoes,” he continued. Bakugou’s hold on you tightened and you winced, turning back to him and returning his glare. 

“Okay, what do you want?” you give in, finally. A mischievous spark lights up in his crimson eyes as flashes a cocky smirk to his friends before turning back to you with a frown. He pushes you towards Mina and she catches you with an arm around your shoulder. 

“Those were expensive, right?” she looks at you and then back at Bakugou. He grunts, nodding. 

“Fuck yes, I’m pissed as hell. Some fucking extra managed to ruin it.” 

You look back down to steal a glance at his heavy, leather boot. The small, white stain melted away. 

“What will you do to make up for it?” Mina whispers your name and you cringe. They were teasing you. For their fun, they were making fun of you. 

“What can I do?” you say, sarcastically. Prying yourself away from her hold. The crowd goes dead silent before speaking. Sero is the first one to talk. 

“Lick it off.”

There’s a pause, no one speaks. Your stomach drops and your face pales at the look the five of them are giving you- it’s serious. Dead serious. 

Kaminari bursts out laughing followed by Sero and the others. The four of them get a great laugh but Bakugou stares at you head-on with his grave expressions burning through your soul. 

“Whatcha looking at? Do it,” he commands. 

The laughing dies down and Kaminari speaks, “are you serious? You want her to lick your shoe,” he can’t control his laughter, a chuckle breaks with every word. 

“Yes, I’m fucking serious. Besides, Sero recommended it,” he smirks. “Do you really want to say no to him? I don’t know so much about this but-“ he leans down close to your face, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, “it might complicate your scholarship.” 

There’s a twisted rhythm in his voice. He’s enjoying tormenting you. You still want to believe that they’re just messing around. That they’ll have their laughs and let you go, but the way Sero stares at you says otherwise. 

“You don’t wanna do it?” Bakugou asks. 

“Of course she doesn’t! That’s gross, oh my god.” Mina exclaims, earning a chuckle from the rest of the boys. 

“Hey, let’s hear it from Sero himself.” Kirishima pats Sero’s back, pushing him forward. The five of them have circled around you, coiling you inside their venomous nest with you in the center. You turn to Sero with pleading eyes, looking up at his huge form, begging. 

He smirks looking down at you, you look so tiny beneath bim. He wants to mess with you, even more, you look like a nice toy to him. He wants to play with it until he can’t. 

“I guess, I did say that-” your blood runs cold, heartbeat picking up in nervousness. “-but you don’t need to do it.” He finishes. Your face lights up while the others groan in disappointment. Bakugou looks livid. 

“Just know that, you’re the one who dropped the ice cream on Bakugou’s shoe and now you’re not even helping him out. That’s not very noble, is it? I don’t know if I even by mistake slipped that info back home- my parents might reconsider whether you truly deserve to be here or not. They don’t really like disrespectful kids who comprise the school’s name.” 

Sero ends his speech with a wide, ear-to-ear grin, followed by a pat to your head. 

“The choice is yours.”  

You pause for a moment and think. Where they were really going to make you do it, where they were really going to humiliate you like this. They were. But were you willing to do it? 

From Sero’s threat, you could tell he was serious, this was legit. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time the school expelled someone who had beef with Sero, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. They don’t care about anyone but their loving son. They wouldn’t even think once before expelling you.

“What’s your answer, princess?” Kirishima teases.

 Mina and Kaminari once again break into fits of laughter.

“What do you mean? She doesn’t have a choice here, kneel you extra.” Your heart hammers in your chest as Bakugou gestures you to kneel. You stop for a second, breathing unevenly- thinking. After a long, thoughtful sigh, you answer. 

“No, I am not going to do it.” Your voice is meek yet clear. Even though you’re trembling under the heavy gazes of five snakes, you choose to stand your ground. 

Bakugou glaring at you while the others boo. 

“Aw, c’mon you don’t mean that.” 

“Don’t be a little brat.” 

Bakugou stays silent while the others continue to throw insults at you -  calling you names and trying to make you regret your decision. You look straight forward into Bakugou’s cold, red eyes, searching for his next move. Your heart beats even harder in your chest with increased anxiety. After watching your torment for more than a few minutes, Bakugo decides he’s had enough of this game.

“Hey, shitty hair,” Bakugo starts. “Punch me.” 

“What?” Kirishima asks, vividly shaken. “Why do you want me to hit you, Bakubro?” 

“Punch me real hard, give me a black eye.” The confusion grows greater on everyone’s faces. You stare at him in awe, wondering what angle was trying to play. 

Kirishima raises his hands in defense. “Woah, dude slow down there. I’m not just going to punch you.” 

Bakugou clicks the roof of his tongue, letting out a sound of irritation. “You all are just dumb,” he starts.

“Imagine if this punny, little,” he leans down closer to you till his lips touch your ears and whispers your name with a crude chuckle. “Were to drop all her food over me, not apologize, punch and me then run away, that’d bring her into a whole world of trouble. Wouldn’t it?” 

Bakugo’s words are calculated and sly, he knows exactly what he’s getting at when he starts. His voice fills you up with dread as he makes his accusations public.

“She would be expelled on spot and Kacchan could also raise charges,” Kaminari adds. 

Your eyes widen in fear. 

“Yeah, I’ll fucking do that.” Mina giggles. “That would succck,” she cheers. Your lower lip quivers as you stare at them in disbelief, your eyes open wide only to be covered with fear. 

“Hey, c’mon, why are you doing this to me?” You feel them inch closer to you, their warmth leeching onto you the longer you stay surrounded by them. 

“Because you have no fucking manners.” Bakugou snarls. 

“Kiri, punch him. What are you waiting for? If you don’t wanna do it I will!” Kaminari cries, growing impatient. 

Kirishima laughs before he charges Bakugou. Your heart hammers in your chest. 

You think about your family, your future, and how disappointed everyone would be with you. Your dreams and aspirations, all were rooted in this school. 

It was honestly sad, pathetic even. Your entire future was just a joke to these spoiled kids. These kids who could control you, and everyone else,  with just a flick of their fingers. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the price to pay for a piece of the beautiful cake known as U.A... You resign yourself to your fate.

A piece of your mind. 

“N-no, don’t do that. I-I’ll do it,” you murmured, your voice timid and weak. The five paused looking at each other with an ominous glint in their eyes. Bakugou was the first to speak. 

“Well, then fucking get on with it. On your knees.” Obediently like a trained puppy, you got down onto your knees, not letting your eyes fall from Bakugou’s face. His red, fierce eyes barked at you with an unknown look, keeping you lost. 

“Holy shit, she’s actually doing this,” Mina squealed watching you lean forward, bringing your face next to Bakugou’s expensive boots.

“Kaminari, record this.” Sero taps at the energetic blonde, forcing him to take his phone out and hit ‘record’. As you lean further to the ground, your short skirt rides up behind you, giving the audience a clear view of your round ass and pastel panties. The sight brings a smile to Bakugou’s face as he scoffs. 

“Cute panties,” he remarks. 

You jerk, trying desperately to sit back, but Bakugo stops you. Smashing his other foot on top of your shoulder, he holds you there facing the ground.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” he growls.

You squirm, almost falling under his weight and as much you hate to admit it, a tingle of excitement runs down your spine. This was turning you on.

 A row of whistles flood in, the boys start teasing you and praising Bakugou. 

“Lick it off,”  he commands. 

You look down at his leather boot, the ice cream almost melted. There’s still a bright white spot of the sweet now liquid splayed out. Even though it’s not a lot, it still makes you cringe. You peek your shy, little tongue out timidly, forcing yourself to do the heinous deed. 

Bakugou watches you hesitate and pushes on your shoulder harder making you reach towards him. 

You give in after a final attempt, diving into his wishes. Your wet tongue touches the rough, cold leather. You cringe after a single touch, closing your eyes and scrunching your nose at the salty taste. “Clean it all off,” he commands.

You dive back in, this time letting your tongue glide across a larger portion. The humiliation burns through your body. It makes you uncomfortably hot, mostly from anger and but a little bit of arousal.

“Nice ass.” 

There it is. The excitement comes back the moment they start making suggestive comments, the attention riles you up and it’s horrible. 

“Kaminari are you even supposed to be here? Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Mina asks at the blonde pervert who was currently zooming on your ass. 

“Oh? We’re cool as long as I don’t stick my dick her,” he points to you. “That’s hella fucking tempting but I’m in love, dude.” He chuckles to himself, thinking about his girlfriend. 

They treat you like an object, talking about you like you were some sort of a toy. 

“Bet her pussy is tight,” Sero says. 

Kirishima turns to Bakugou, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Yo, Bakubro, can we touch her?” 

Bakugou looks on from watching you lick his boot and turns to Kirishima. A dark, unsettling gaze falls across his eyes as he speaks, “No. This one is mine.” he stares down at you. 

You stop lapping on his shoe and stand back on your knees, buckling your knees you try to get up but Bakugou harshly kicks your shoulder, throwing you back and making you cry. 

“Why did you do that?” you squeal, holding onto your bruised shoulder, glaring at him intently. 

The rest of the group goes quiet at the display of Bakugou’s sudden violence. 

He stands between your thighs, lazily resting his foot atop of your soft thighs. 

“You’re fucking pathetic, you know that?” the angle you were spread out in had your skirt flipped over hips, displaying your pretty, pastel panties to everyone in the room. 

Even though it’s subtle, masked by everyone’s fear of what Bakugou was planning, you still feel everyone’s gaze focused right on you and more specifically at your clothed cunt. Bakugou presses hard on your thigh making you cry. 

“Useless Deku’s friends are just like him. The fucking second you walked in here, I knew you were just another useless insect for me to stomp on.” He pauses, smirking, pressing his foot onto you even harder, twisting his ankle to increase the burning sting surging across your right thigh. “And I’m doing just that.” 

He steps off you for a moment, letting you catch your breath and recover from the burn. His eyesight travels lower down to your panties. He admires the cute pair you had on. Normally when he’d see girls naked, they’d dress themselves up the most luxurious to match his standards. But that’s not you, that could never be you. 

He rejoices at the thought of seeing your flushed, tear-stained face breaking down under him. You’ll never be like those girls, always a step behind. He can build you up and break you however he likes, you’d have no say in it. 

The power trip drives him crazy. 

He presses the tip of his boot over your clothed clothed cunt, pushing the hard material right over your sensitive clit. 

You gasp at the feeling, looking up at him with terrified eyes. He smirks down at you, moving his foot in a steady rhythm, rubbing the fabric of your cotton panties against your little pearl. 

“This turning you on? What a freak.” The rest of his group basks in shock. They watch intently as the scene spiraled out for them, too captivated to make any comments. They just keep quiet and stare. 

The way you squirm under Bakugou as he plays with your cute clit so unforgivingly makes them hot with excitement. Kaminari feels a little guilty but he blames it on his nature as a man.

Sero feels a little bad for you, they all do. But then again they wouldn’t waste the opportunity to be in Bakugou’s footsteps- literally. 

“You’re a little slut, you know that?” Bakugou sneers. 

Your gasps turn into whimpers as his simulation becomes harder. You clench your fists, desperately wishing it to be over. Tears brim in your eyes at the sheer humiliation of your corrupted form. This was just too much, too much for you to handle. 

“Please, stop,” you beg, knowing he wouldn't listen. “I’ll report you,” you cry.  A roar of laughter starts, shutting you up. 

“Go for it, you do that.” Mina comments. Kaminari walks closer to you, bringing the camera down to your face recording your horrified expressions. 

“We’ll just go ahead and post this online.” he threatens. 

A drop of tear falls down your waterline following a waterfall. You cry, leave all of your dignity behind and cry. You beg them to stop but as your pleas mix with your moans, it’s hard for anyone to understand what you’re saying. It’s not like they don’t know what you’re asking them for, they just turn deaf, simply because they can. 

Bakugou stops, he takes a step back, leaving you alone. You let out the tiniest cry when he leaves, ditching you just when you need his touch the most. 

“Feels like I’m doing too much of the work, if you want it so bad, do this yourself.” He says. Your body still burns with desire, your clit still hard and cunt salivating, you are nowhere close to being done... 

It’s as if something takes over and you are possessed by the dire need to cum, you do exactly as he says. 

You snake your fingers down your panties, deliberately rubbing on your swollen little clit before pushing your finger into your drenched cunt. You cry out as you clench around your finger, the pleasure becoming unbearable. Your legs shake and you close your eyes shut. 

You stay there on the floor, fingering yourself in the corridor, without any shame, while Kaminari records all of it. 

“She’s gonna give me a hard-on,” Kirishima says and you moan.

“She really is a slut, huh?” Sero comments. 

“She’s cute,” Mina adds with a smile. 

Bakugou scoffs, “does Deku know how much of a whore you are?” He asks. 

You don’t pay any attention to what he says, too busy bringing yourself to your climax.

“You’re getting all this right?” Mina looks over Kaminari’s shoulder and onto the phone screen which captures you beautifully losing yourself for everyone to see. 

“You close?” Bakugou asks as you feel yourself clench around fingers tightly, he bends down on his and pulls your panties down your hips, admiring your precious cunt. 

“Cute pussy,” he remarks before flicking your sensitive, hardened clit.

A rush of pleasure washes down your body as you cry while cumming. Bakugou pushes you right over the edge, a nasty grin screaming atop his face as he watches you. You curse at yourself for letting him see you like this, but there’s not much you can do but cry while you feel your juices gush around you before sliding down your thighs and onto the dirty floor. 

It takes a second for you to calm down and when you do come to your senses, dread fills you up. Tears shamelessly fall down your face as you realize what you just did. The others laugh at you, without feeling any remorse. 

Bakugou continues to stare at you with an unsettling look, while the others discuss the heinous crime you’ve just committed. 

Sero looks down at you and you catch his dark eyes staring at you. A toothy grin scavenges his face as he speaks. 

“Awesome,” he says as if he just finished some mediocre movie. 

Finally, you find the courage to get up and run. 

This was totally not awesome. 

[backtothefanfiction]

WHAT BENNY DOESN'T KNOW | Chapter 7

A TRIPLE FRONTIER STORY

Summary: Post mission confessions and will Benny finally find out what he's been missing out on?

Warnings: Mature 18+ ONLY!! Language, Smut and General Feels.

Word Count: 4852

A/N: Final chapter and final author's note. You guys have been so amazing throughout this series, showing me love and care and just overall enjoying my writing. My lucky number is 7 so seems only fitting that this has ended at 7 parts. Like I said in my little post earlier today, I couldn't have asked for a better group of people or fandom to share my final fanfiction piece with and the fact that its a completed series just makes me so happy and proud and ready to move on to my next writing ventures. Thank you all for everything, I will love and cherish you all always.

PART SEVEN | MISSION COMPLETE

The water pressure for the shower in your tiny hotel room was shit but you couldn't care less. You let out a deep sigh as your body relaxed into the feeling of the water washing over your body, washing away the grime and adrenaline that had come with the action packed day.

The job had been a huge success. You'd retrieved all the money with minimal casualties and delivered it safely to Santiago's contact across the border, but not before pocketing a little bit of it each.

It had been 1am when you had all made it to the tiny hillside hotel that overlooked the jungle. It wasn't much but the staff were friendly and there was the promise of breakfast included in the morning. There weren't many rooms so the boys had all doubled up, leaving you with a room to yourself. You had wasted no time, immediately dumping your bags and switching on the shower, half desperate to get clean, the other half desperate to run the tap cold to cool off from the heat.

You'd managed to stomach the cold for about 5 minutes before you had to turn it up a little, making the water more lukewarm than freezing. You quickly washed your hair and body with the single bar of soap that was provided with the room and got out. As much as you would have happily stayed standing under the running water a bit longer, you were also tired and desperate to sleep.

You wrapped yourself in one of the towels, which was a lot smaller than your preferred bath towels at home, only just covering your bum, and used the other towel provided to dry your hair as you walked back out into the small room. You had just sat down on the edge of the bed when there was a light knock on your door. For a moment you panicked a little, worried about opening the door and showing off too much skin to whoever was there, but then you remembered three out of your four team mates had already seen a lot more than this.

You had to stand on your tip toes to see through the view finder in the door so you could check and see who it was. They had their head down, but you'd recognise that hat anywhere. He was about to knock again when you suddenly opened the door.

Frankie's eyes grew wide as he took in the sight of you in the doorway. “Sorry, I was just getting out the shower.” you said as you held up the towel in your hand and continued to dry your hair as you spoke to him.

Frankie gave his head a small shake as he tried to get himself to focus again. “I broke up with Laura.” he blurted out. It wasn't what he was intending on starting with when he had first left the room he was sharing with Santiago, but he had become nervous and it had only gotten worse when you opened the door looking like that.

Your brow furrowed at his words. “What?” your question was almost a whisper. He held up his hand, a silent gesture asking if he could come in so you weren't having this conversation on a hotel room doorstep. “Umm yeah.” you said stepping aside, your voice starting to feel more confident, the shock of his statement wearing off.

“I broke up with Laura.” he said again as you closed the door. You remained silent as you observed him from across the room, encouraging him to elaborate. “When we went on that last job with Pope and everything went to shit,” he started; he was fiddling with his hands, unable to look at you. “There was this moment.” he continued. “When we were on the side of the mountain and I lost this mule and for a moment I saw my life flash before my eyes. I could have so easily have gone down with it.” he said, sitting himself down on the end of the bed. He took his hat off and began fiddling with the strap on the back of it. You stepped closer, taking a seat beside him, listening carefully.

“In that moment my brain thought of two things.” he said, his leg bouncing now. “I thought of my little girl's smiling face... and then I thought of you.” he admitted going silent, letting the statement hang in the air. You continued to examine his side profile as you waited patiently for him to continue. “Then when Tom died...” he finally said, his voice shaking slightly. He suddenly looked up at you and you felt your heart stop as you saw the faint traces of tears filling his eyes. “It was you, I just wanted to get home to you.” He paused a moment, looking back down at his hat in his fingers again before he continued. “I went home and told her everything.”

You braced yourself for what would come next in his story but it never came. “The worst thing was that she was so great about it. She said she wasn't surprised, that she knew that I was in love with you the first time she met you.” There was a long pause before he looked up at you again, his hand reaching out for yours, resting in your lap. “I wanted to tell you all this at the diner but you left before I got a chance to say anything. I wanted to tell you I was sorry, for all of it.”

“I'm sorry too, I should have never taken that job-”

“You did the right thing. Don't be sorry. I treated you like shit, I broke every promise that I made to you. I wasn't in a good place and I let you down and you were right. I needed help and we both needed space. Don't ever say you're sorry for that.” he said lifting his hand to wipe away a tear you hadn't realised was falling down your cheek.

“Frankie-” your voice cracked as you said his name.

“I got mad today because I was scared. Scared I was gonna lose you before I got a chance to tell you everything I've wanted to say since the moment I first saw you.” He paused, turning towards you and taking both of your hands in his. “I never believed in love at first sight, that was until I saw you and I knew there was something different there, I just didn't know what it was yet. You are the most beautiful, adventurous and stubborn woman I have ever met and I am so completely in love with everything about you. I don't want to carry on living my life without you-”

“I love you.” your voice came out suddenly as a whisper making him stop. “I love you Francisco Morales.” you said more sure of yourself. “I will always love you. I should have said it before when you told me you loved me but I couldn't.”

“I know.” he said it with such love but also such sorrow in his eyes. You sat there for a moment in silence as he put his hat back on, both of you just happy to be in each others company.

“So what do we do now?” you tentatively asked.

“I don't know. What do you want to do now?” he asked. His words were gentle but held a message of 'I'm happy to do whatever you want to do, as long as I get to do it with you'.

You took a deep breath in as you mustered the courage needed to make the first move. You stood up and Frankie sat himself upright, not taking his eyes away from yours once. You lifted your leg slowly, placing your knee onto the bed beside his thigh, before lifting the other one and placing it on the other side. Frankie's hands moved comfortably to your hips, guiding you into your seat on his lap.

You wrapped your hands around the back of his neck, your eyes glancing down to his lips then back up to his eyes again. You slowly leant forward until your lips were touching his. It was tentative at first, but as soon as those fireworks went off in your mind and your lips tingled at his touch, you both wasted no time deepening the kiss. He wrapped both of his arms around your lower back, pulling you closer to him.

You nudged the brim of his hat with your head and he reached up to take it off, placing it on the corner of the bed. You leant forward against him and he lay himself back against the mattress, encouraging you with his lips to follow.

He brought a hand up to cup your jaw as he ran the tip of his tongue along your lower lip, gently asking for entry. You happily met his tongue in the middle with your own. You suddenly felt a tightening feeling in your chest and you broke the kiss sitting yourself upright, needing more room to breathe. “You okay?” he asked softly as he saw you bring a hand to your chest, rubbing at the spot inbetween your breasts where the pain was.

“Yeah, I just forgot to breath properly.” you half lied.

“Do you want to stop?” he asked, sensing your anxiety. He couldn't blame you for it, he knew he'd put you through a lot in the past and he didn't want to rush you.

“No, I'm just...” your sentence caught in your throat as you began to overthink the statement that was about to fall out of your mouth, your brain telling you you were being silly. You let your body slide off of him to the side but kept your legs lazily over the top of his. He gently stroked his fingertips across the bare skin with one hand, while he propped himself up on his opposite elbow to look at you. He waited patiently for you to continue, his brown eyes soft and encouraging. Safe.

“It's silly. I'm being silly.” you said, trying to laugh off the feeling within you. He continued to wait patiently. “I'm just nervous.” you finally said. “I want us to... I want to... I just... It's been a little while since I... and with you.” you mumbled out, trying to explain how you were feeling but feeling so silly for it. This obviously wasn't your first time sleeping together but it was so different from any other time the two of you had done it. You felt lost, all your confidence draining out of you. You wanted him to take charge, but not in the way that Santi had in Italy, more like how Will had. Soft and encouraging. Actions full of adoration and care. You wanted this to feel natural, yet still passionate and full of love. You just didn't know how to initiate that.

“Come here.” he said quietly, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close. He gave you a chaste kiss to the top of your head as he held you loosely against his chest, allowing you time to breathe and relax.

When you felt the feeling in your chest subside, you looked up at him, silently telling him with your eyes you were ready to try again. He leant down, meeting his lips with yours once more. The tingling feeling in your lips came back, but as you inhaled through your nose, so did the feeling in your chest. Your breathing hitched and Frankie sensed your discomfort again. “Why don't you lie down.” he encouraged you, motioning to the pillows at the top of the bed with his head.

He used the opportunity, as you climbed up the bed, to kick his shoes off and take off his pants so he was sat comfortably at the end of the bed in his t-shirt and briefs. You pulled your lips into a tight happy smirk at the sight, as you settled into the pillows. He smiled back at you as he caught you admiring him, lowering himself sideways again, his elbow propping himself up. “I love you Frankie.” you said, a quiet giddiness to your voice.

“Yeah?” he questioned, his eyebrows playfully raising. “Good.” he said as he looked down at the bed bashfully before back up to your eyes. They then slowly trailed down to where your towel was wrapped tightly across the top of your breasts. You watched him slowly make his way up the bed towards you, his fingers tentatively reaching out for the fabric.

You held your breath in anticipation as he began to pull on the towel, the tight tuck coming free. He slowly pulled the towel apart and you became bashful at his gaze. He leaned forward to give you a brief kiss on your lips before they began to make their journey down your chin, then to your neck. They grazed across your breasts to your nipples and your breathing hitched as he placed a gentle kiss on either of them.

He then shuffled backwards on the bed, his hands gripping your thighs and pulling you into a more laid down position, making you giggle. He then went back to trailing kisses down your body. Every kiss as he made his way down to your thighs was gentle and appreciative. Your breathing hitched again when his lips started to make their way up from your knees, his scruff tickling the sensitive skin as he kissed up your thigh. He stopped just before he reached your centre, teasing you before he began kissing down the inside of the opposite thigh, down to your knee then back up again.

He stopped again, just before reaching your core, it tingled in anticipation. You tilted your head to see him smiling at you and you bashfully giggled before he leant forward, his tongue darting out to lap at your folds, his nose nudging your clit. You let out a breathy moan at the feel of his mouth re-exploring you after so long. The sounds of your pleasure encouraged his tongue to dive deeper into your folds, his arms hooking under your thighs, pulling you closer to him. His fingers stroked lazily and soothingly over your thighs and you felt yourself relax further into his touch, your previous anxieties becoming a distant memory.

You raised your legs and Frankie's hands pushed against the back of your thighs, opening you up wider, the tips of your toes brushing against his shoulders. He sat himself up for a moment and pulled off his t-shirt, throwing it across the room, before his head dived back down between your legs. He guided your swollen clit with his tongue, sucking it between his lips, the sensitivity and pleasure sending your head rolling back into the pillows. His name fell from your lips in a breathy whisper and Frankie felt his underwear grow tighter.

Your hips began to squirm, rolling your clit against his tongue in just the way you liked, as two of his fingers dove into your soaking cunt. You felt them stretch you out at first but then he curled them inside you, rubbing against that sweet spot that had you careening quickly towards your finish. Your fingers reached down, threading themselves into his loose curls, attempting to ground yourself as your release began to take over.

Your legs clamped around either side of his head and you felt him let out a small breathy chuckle through his nose. He buried his tongue deeper into your folds, lapping up everything you were giving him as your cries of pleasure rang out through the room.

Your legs finally released him and he quickly came up for air, a large grin plastered across his face. You brought your knees up tight to your chest, a large smile across your face and a giddy giggle falling from your lips. Frankie felt like he had gone to heaven as he leaned down to kiss your lips. He broke away, placing a kiss on your forehead as he got up from the bed to rid himself of his underwear, his hard cock springing free.

You rolled over onto your knees and crawled across the bed towards him. He took your face in his hands, bending down to reconnect your lips once more between smiles as you both shuffled backwards onto the bed. You encouraged him to lay down, his hands shuffling the pillow under his head to get comfortable.

You straddled his hips and he took his erection into his hand, lining it up with your entrance. As you lowered yourself down slowly onto his cock, letting it stretch you out, Frankie had this overwhelming feeling of coming home. When you had taken him inside you completely, he guided your head down to his so he could give you a deep passionate kiss. “I love you.” he mumbled the words against your lips and your eyes closed in bliss, your forehead resting against his as his hips began to roll up into you.

You began to moan in pleasure at the feeling of his hard cock thrusting slowly and deeply inside you, the prominent blood filled veins and the head if his member rubbing against the most sensitive parts of your walls. The feeling was overwhelming as you both rocked yourselves against one another, your breathing becoming laboured. You could feel your next orgasm building quickly as you reached a hand between your two bodies, your fingers beginning to circle your clit.

Your moans became more frequent and Frankie could tell you were close, “Come on baby.” he encouraged you. “Come on baby. Let me see that pretty face you make when you cum all over my cock.” His hands reached up to cup the sides of your face, guiding your head into the best angle for him to see you. Your eyes became unfocussed and you cried out as your pleasure took over you.

He continued to roll up into you with the same agonising pace, dragging your orgasm out as long as he could. “Frankie please.” you whined as the sensitivity became too much and he let go of his hold on your face allowing you to collapse against him, your head burying itself between his neck and the pillow. He listened closely to your ragged breaths as you attempted to come down from your high.

When you lifted your head, he could see small glistening tears in your eyes. He tilted his head to kiss your lips, his hand reaching up to smooth your hair. “You know I think that's one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.” you smiled bashfully at his words. “Can I do it again?” he asked. You nodded as small yes escaping your lips before you kissed him, his hips beginning to roll up into you again.

His hands gripped onto your hips, grinding you down against him as he thrust up into you. Your lips attacked one another with fervour, your tongues melting into one another, your laboured breathing becoming one. He snaked his arms around you and his thrusts paused a moment as he rolled the two of you over so he was now situated on top of you, your legs locking around his back, his forearms pressed to the bed either side of you, encapsulating you with his body.

His thrusts became stronger and a little more powerful as he began to push you both towards your final highs. You pushed your knees back closer to your chest, encouraging him deeper still. He began hitting the most perfect spot, “Yes right there, please don't stop, don't stop.” you said wrapping your arms around his neck as his thrusts became quicker.

He buried his head against the crook of your neck as he tried to focus on not finishing before he had made you cum one last time but your moans and gasps were sending him over the edge. He counted his lucky stars as he felt your walls clamp down around him, the pulsations of your orgasm bringing him to his own finish. He propped himself up as he stilled inside you, his lips attaching to yours, thanking you for the moment you just shared together.

He pulled his head back to admire the blissed out smile across your face and the adoration in your eyes as you looked at him. “You know you were always the best right?” you teased him and he hung his head as he let out a chuckle, a reminder of your comment earlier in the day.

-------------------------

You both settled under the covers, curling into each others bodies, your limbs intertwined as one as you talked quietly in the dark. “Did he really have the safety on the whole time?” Frankie questioned you again, he still didn't believe your statement.

“Yeah.” you said propping yourself up so you could try to make out his face in the dark as the smile of complete and utter disbelief grew across his face. “I had to take it off to shoot him when I took the gun from him.” you said as you settled your chin back against his chest, feeling the rumble of his low laugh vibrate through it. “Is anyone ever going to tell Benny?” you pondered, turning your head to the side, your ear listening to his heartbeat and his relaxed breaths.

“I'm sure Ironhead will someday.” you both let out a snigger then as you thought of what Ben's reaction would be like the day he got to find out about all the things he'd been missing out on. “Did Pope really do that stuff he said he did to you in Italy?”

“You jealous Frankie?” your voice teased playfully. “You play your cards right maybe you can get the chance to do it one day... or I could do it to you.” You felt him go rigid underneath you, the idea of you tying him to the bed and teasing him all night playing out in his head. You propped yourself up, reaching to give him a kiss and break him away from his thoughts. He gave you a devious smirk that you could only just make out in the dark.

You settled back into his chest and his fingers began to draw lazy circles on your back, your eyes growing heavy under his comforting touch. “Hey Magpie?” his voice rung out in the silence.

“Yeah.” you mumbled lazily into his chest, your eyes remaining closed.

“What happens when we get home?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean us and Laura and the baby? I just... I want to do the right thing.” he said and you propped your head up again to look at him, knowing he needed to have your full attention for this conversation.

“What do you want to happen?” you asked him cautiously.

“I want to go home and be able to say you're my girlfriend, my partner.” he hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I want to have you by my side to raise my little girl with me. For you to share all your best qualities with her so she will grow up into an amazing woman. I always thought you'd make an amazing mom.” he said. You searched the dark for his eyes, they were soft and full of so much adoration for you. “I know it's a lot to put on you and I'm not asking you to step up and be her mom, that's what Laura's for, but I want you in her life. To be her friend and safe place like you are to me.”

You paused a moment, taking in his words before nodding and quietly saying, “Yeah okay.”

“Yeah?” he said hopefully as a large smile broke out onto his face.

“Yeah.” you said again, the nod of your head growing stronger and a smile spreading across your lips at the idea of you nurturing the little girl that was half of the man you loved. He leant forward crashing his lips into yours before reaching to place a grateful kiss on your forehead. He pulled you back down into his arms and smiled contently, his eyes closing and head relaxing deep into the pillow, happy to finally be able to sleep with you in his arms.

---------------------

“Where's Catfish?” Will asked as Santiago sat himself down at the table in the quiet breakfast room, a large plate piled high with food from the spread on a table at the far side of the room, held firmly in his hand.

“I'm guessing he's having a lie in.” Santi smirked across the table with a small raise of his eyebrows.

“Didn't you share a room with him last night?” Benny mumbled through a mouthful of food.

“I shared a room with his stuff.” Santiago teased and he and Will shared a coy smile. Benny looked between the two confused. His confusion didn't last long though as you and Frankie walked into the breakfast room together, smiling and making eyes at each other.

“Wait? Fish and Magpie?” Benny questioned, his brow furrowed. Santiago and Will just gave small sniggers as they focused their eyes on their plates.

“Morning.” you said with a cheerful smile as you settled yourself in the free chair next to Santiago.

“Well someone's in a good mood this morning.” Will teased you as you reached for the pot of coffee in the middle of the table, filling up a cup, as Frankie settled himself in the seat the other side of you. You shot the older Miller brother a warning look and he tried his best to fight off a laugh as Frankie relaxed back in his seat, He rested his arm on the back of your chair, as you filled his cup with coffee too. His hand rubbed gently over your back, letting you know he was grateful for the gesture.

“How did you guys sleep last night?” you asked in an attempt to distract Benny who was staring across the table at you and Frankie, trying to work out what was happening.

“I slept great.” Santiago said between mouthfuls. “Had a nice quiet night to myself.”

“Wait, are we not going to acknowledge what's going on here?” Benny said, his hands falling heavy on the table top as he looked between each of you.

“I don't know. What do you think's going on here Benny?” Frankie teased him.

“I- Uh. I don't know. You tell me.” Benny replied, his eyebrows raising at yourself and Frankie.

“He slept with her last night.” Santiago said, still enjoying his food. He said it so nonchalantly, like it was common knowledge and you had to fight the large grin that wanted to break out over your face. Benny's eyes grew wide as the realisation of your words the day before really hit him.

“Wait! What! Was this what I was missing!” Benny said a little too loudly, drawing the attention of the other guests in the room. Frankie raised his hand at them and gestured a silent sorry to the other tables as Benny tried to regain his composure.

“Come on, I'll fill you in outside.” Will said as he got up from his seat, encouraging Benny to go with him. Benny moaned as he left his still half full plate on the table. You and Frankie watched giddily as Benny skulked off behind his brother.

“So you guys finally sorted things out then.” Santiago said more as a statement as he took a sip of his coffee. You and Frankie just gave each other a reassuring smile in response and Santiago sat back in his chair to admire the two of you. “Guess this means I'll never get to fuck her again then.” he said to Frankie.

“I don't know man, if you play your cards right and she wants to?” Frankie left the statement open ended and you gave him a playful smile. Santiago let out a small snigger lifting his cup up to Frankie as a touché.

“Just promise me you'll treat her right.” Santiago said to his friend softly as he placed his now empty coffee cup back onto the table.

“I will man.” Frankie replied as he looked to you with adoration. Santiago smiled giving you a small nod, blessing your new relationship as he stood up from the table. He placed a caring hand on your shoulder as he bent down to kiss your cheek, his last parting gesture.

You turned yourself towards Frankie's embrace as Santiago left the breakfast room and he placed a kiss on top of your head. You both sat there content in each others silence as you picked at your breakfast on the table before you. You reached for the pot of coffee to top up both your cups when a loud giddy shout of “OOOHH SHIT!” carried through from the lobby area of the hotel. It was official, Benny finally knew everything.

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[raekahnsfw]

What if I’m not good enough for you?

Pairing: Shindo Yo x Reader Rating: Explicit (LIKE BE WARNED!), NS*W Warning: Smut, Drunk Sex, Slightly Dubious Consent, Aged-up Characters, Pining, Angst, Insecurities, Slow-burn fluff Word Count: 10,699  A/N: These BNHA characters are 18+ and are nearly graduating seniors.

Summary: You’re a senior at UA with a long-standing crush on Shindo Yo but you’ve sworn never to be in a relationship again. Your last one destroyed you with insecurities so you’ve decided the only path is to be a lonely pro-hero. But with the opportunity for a one-night drunken stand with Shindo, you take the chance and expect to be forgotten. Shindo won’t stand for it.

From Me: (Follow me at @raekahwritings​) This is my first fic ever into the BNHA fandom and for one of my favorite heroes, Shindo Yo! I want to give a huge shout out to @thewheezingwyvern because she helped to beta-read this monster of a fic. Basically, this is the first I’ve written in a near decade and with her advice, it became something I was too embarrassed to share to something I’m really proud of. Here we go for Shindou Club and BNHA Book Club, Provisional License.

Also, inspirations for this work is from @katsukisprincess, @lady-bakuhoe, @iwvs-on-ao3, @bnhabookclub, @/lemonlordleah-shinzawa, @/marilla-eldriana, and others because I’m too embarrassed to tag them when they’re so amazing.

There was always a question in the back of your mind; was love worth sacrificing your pro-hero dream? 

“Hey Mina.” You watched your pink haired friend scroll through Tinder on the dorm room couch.  You all were seniors in UA academy and studying for finals. Or supposed to be anyways. You slumped over on the table, smushing your cheek on the cold, hard plastic as you took a brief reprieve from your textbook.

“Would you rather be somebody’s girlfriend or a hero?” Mina turned around and lit up at your question. 

“Depends. How hot is my boyfriend?” She waggled her eyebrows at you and started listing off a number of heroes that would ‘totally rock her world,’ cackling loudly how she’d totally give up everything for some mad sex. Soon enough, she flopped back over the couch and was engrossed in another possible hook-up.  

Maybe you should’ve asked Momo. But she didn’t seem very experienced in relationships and you were currently in a dilemma. You, Y/N, an aspiring hero had sworn off relationships because your freshman ex-boyfriend had thrown you an ultimatum: “Why do you need to be a hero when you’re already my girlfriend?”  

You had broken up with his sorry ass right there and then. Nothing would get in the way of being a hero. Apparently, Mina would joke otherwise. 

“....I don’t think sex is everything, Mina.” Mina started whining petulantly, lamenting over the lack of hotties on her dating apps. You laughed it off while she tapped her phone in frustration. Mina would forever be Mina. 

“Y/N, do you think he’s hot or am I just too thirsty right now?” She was soon waving her phone to you with somebody’s profile picture, some asshole who was obnoxiously showing their abs off. You rolled your eyes before making a ‘nixed’ gesture. 

“Mina, you are way too good for jerks who think showing off their naked body parts is gonna score chicks.” You scoffed at seeing their disgustingly lewd caption. Mina moved on to the next one, muttering. 

“Jeez, Y/N, what is your type even? I’ve never seen you hook up or with a boyfriend before?” She tried valiantly to quiz you and show you more pictures but you ignored her in favor of going back to studying.

Honestly, you had a type. But if Mina or anyone knew, it’d probably be too surprising for them to fathom; you were the serious girl who always said you didn’t need a boyfriend. You prosaically told people, ‘learning to be a hero is way awesomer’. But if there was one shocking thing you could say about yourself….

It would be that you were a fucking idiot to fall in love with Shindou Yo. Somehow, your heart had chosen the most devious asshole you ever could’ve ever met.

Shindo Yo didn’t even go to UA Academy. He was a mutual friend of the UA’s Midoriya, Todoroki and Bakugo. Actually…. you weren’t sure if they were even friends… With the way Bakugo seemed to fight with him, it seemed more like they were mortal enemies. Nevertheless, it seemed like he was showing up more often to outside gatherings and to parties that you and your UA classmates frequented. It was a relief that Mina hadn’t figured it out since she was surprisingly perceptive. 

“Hey Mina. I’m gonna go to the library to meet up with Kirishima.” You kept an eye on the time and started packing up your bag. You had made plans to exchange study notes for a drink. She nodded, already distracted with her next conquest. You sighed. 

Jeez, you shouldn’t have asked Mina. She hadn’t caught on though… because if anyone had ever found out about your silly crush, you wonder what they would say. Shindo was universally seen as a jerk at UA. There was every reason to avoid him instead of falling in love with him. Shindo Yo was self-assured and manipulative. Bakugo had called him out on his shit early on in the UA Provisional Exams. You had personally seen Shindo turn on the charm to your fellow UA students, only to decimate his nice-guy exterior to turn the tables on your unwitting classmates and team. You had first-hand faced his cunningness in action. Did you have every reason to mistrust him? Yes.

But on the flip side, you also saw how loyally compassionate he was to his fellow teammates. You saw how he pulled through at the eleventh hour to get him and his teammates to success. He never hesitated to use his sinister two-faced nature to protect his friends at Ketsubutsu Academy High School.

One situation, in particular, was on your mind…

Shindo had shown up at the karaoke club with Tatami and Camie in tow, ‘inviting’ himself to a casual graduation party for Mirio, Nejire and Tatami. Everyone thought it had been reserved for UA students but someone had let it slip to other schools…. (It was Mirio. His nice-ness was over the bounds. Throwing out invites left and right like a loveable idiot.)

Shindo had somehow weaseled himself into the roster of singing anarchy – grabbing a mic and belting a love song to Uraraka with a significant wink to Midoriya. He even got Jiro and Tatami together on a song. He had challenged Bakugo to a song (which didn’t happen) but a girl could dream about that blackmail material.

But one of the beginning moments that you had fallen in love…

He had been sitting around, mulling over a drink when you saw him look discreetly around for Tatami and Cami. They had both been gone for a tad too long….? Shindo took a break on the pretense of Bakugo’s death glare being too much and laughing his way out of the room. You sat near the door, so you had a surprisingly good view of when his eyes narrowed, and he dropped his friendly demeanor on his way out. You turned your head inquisitively…? Shindo’s sights were set on a couple of low-life frat boys who were heading for an unsuspecting Camie and Tatami leaving the bathroom. You watched him walking towards them, heading them off, and shoving them into another hallway.

You followed him out and stayed behind the hallway to try to see what was happening. What could you say, curiosity got the better of you?

You couldn’t make out what he said but the low threatening timbre of his voice had sent cold chills down your spine. You had never heard this level of sinister maliciousness from even Bakugo. This Shindo was probably more of a villain that he had let others believe. The culprit’s voices became heated, but it was abruptly stopped by the vicious slamming of the wall. Then you could hear running.

You backed up into an empty room, afraid to show Shindo that you had been waiting there. He rounded back—thankfully not seeing you—and you could see the genuine and sincere relief at seeing both Tatami and Camie laughing… in ignorance of what they had just avoided. He rounded the two to join the karaoke room, keeping a watchful eye on the other unsavory participants…

You had leaned against the dark and empty room’s wall to calm your beating heart. Shindo was undoubtedly an asshole but you knew how fiercely protective of the people he loved.

Maybe that was the spark that ignited this wistful thought – “I wish someone loved me that much.”

But love paled in comparison to upcoming finals. Obviously. Get your act together. You made it to the library and waved to several of your classmates studying nearby. Everyone turned back to their own work and left you alone. Just as well. You drummed your fingers on the library desk as you flipped open your computer and continued typing a study guide.

During times like this, your mind wandered a bit. After the karaoke incident, you found yourself looking for moments with Shindo—hoping to catch a glimpse beneath that nice-guy exterior. You found yourself wondering if he was going to ‘show up’ to parties. You found yourself floating over to conversations with the Ketsubutsu crowd if they were ‘mysteriously’ invited. You wondered what Shindo treated his girlfriend like—probably Tatami—but there was no confirmation they were dating.

In your dorms, you sometimes found yourself chuckling along with Todoroki or laughing at Bakugo and wondered what Shindo might say if he was there.

Maybe you yearned to come back to your dorm room and see someone waiting to greet you with a sarcastic quip and sugared, cunning words. Maybe you had stuffed your fingers in between your legs in a pitiful attempt to dampen the rising heat… especially when you thought of a certain brunette and his dark timbre of a voice in the depths of the night.

Maybe you could lie to yourself and say, Shindo was not that person you imagined. 

But you were an independent person who would never allow yourself to be weak or dependent on anyone. If you ever confessed, you would be trapped in a relationship where your partner would inevitably resent you for putting your career first. These were the thoughts that plagued you in your hidden moments. You tried to push these insecurities away but they lurked nearby.

Resentment. That was quite familiar to you. That’s inevitably what you heard and felt. Your last boyfriend resented he was never a priority over yourself, your hero aspirations, and the success of your friends and classmates. You had resented his feelings, trapping you and confining you to change who you were.

So yes, you were independent, amazing, and awesome. But you were lonely... A realization that would sneak up on you every so often. You looked at your computer screen, lifting a hand to crawl over the painful feelings in your chest… as if to reassure yourself.

Because who would want someone like this? How selfish would it be to confess to someone and expect them to understand this?

So yes, you had decided love would never be in the cards for you. It was a practical and logical decision.

“Hey Y/N, you look lost in thought over here.” Kirishima came over to your study table in the library, holding two drinks. You waved off his concerns and lit up at seeing what was in his hands.

“No, no, I’m not! Gimmie the goods.” You tapped the desk impatiently for him to put the hot chocolate down. Kirishima looked at your childish drink in bemusement as he put down his black coffee. “I promised to give over these study notes for you so the least you can do is not judge my drinks.” You stuck your tongue out at the red-haired boy.

Kirishima chuckled, dropping his backpack noisily on the floor. “Y/N, I’m supposed to join Bakugo soon for warm-up... How long do you think you’ll be?” You rolled your eyes a bit at hearing that. When wasn’t Bakugo training or something? Whatever, you were doing Kirishima a favor after all.

You absentmindedly decided to ask, “Isn’t Bakugo supposed to have a match or something? Is it against UA’s Class B or…?” You tapped your backspace key rather impatiently. Aizawa-sensei had been organizing more hero trainings lately for individual members. Something alongside hero work studies; that was certainly keeping you busy. It seemed everyone had something going on lately. You lifted your cup for a quick sip.

“Actually...” Kirishima scratched the back of his head nervously. “It’s against Ketsubutsu Academy’s students.”

You nearly spewed out your precious hot cocoa. Your arms flew up to wipe your keyboard in an awkward attempt to muffle your surprise.

Kirishima had an inkling of your crush for the earthquake bastard. But you were always so quick to dismiss any remote implication that he wasn’t quite sure…. But if he didn’t know before, he knew now.

“…. Apparently Joke-sensei kept pushing Aizawa-sensei for a collaborative ‘event’ so this is what they came up with. It’s supposed to be the beginning of a ‘school-wide’ effort for cooperation and teamwork for heroes across different areas. It’s still in the works but…” Kirishima trailed off at seeing your pinched face.

“What time is it?” You curtly asked. Kirishima looked at his watch.

“It’s supposed to start in an hour.”

“Goddamnit Kirishima. I’m sending you your stupid notes so we can get to this match.” You didn’t even realize you had dropped your formalities. What was racing through your mind was that you had less than an hour to get back your dorm, get ready, see Shindo without looking like a complete nerd who spent too much time studying.

You had luckily been on the ending revisions, but it wasn’t like Kirishima needed all of it. You hastily typed his email in, cursing when your computer loaded too slowly, and sent off the file.

Then came shoving Kirishima into the directions of the dorms so he could “hurry the fuck up”. Kirishima may have dragged his feet a bit, snickering at Bakugo’s choice words falling from your mouth.  It wasn’t like he had to do anything for the match anyways. You on the other hand….

You couldn’t salvage much of your looks, so you tried to throw on a large oversized sweater over your skirt and put on a touch of eyeliner and mascara. Sheesh, you didn’t want to look like you tried too hard. You looked critically at yourself in the mirror and saw… nothing special. You deflated a bit.  Well. Fake it until you make it. Even when you tried, it didn’t seem like much had changed. So what if you didn’t look as pretty as the others like Momo? You had slowly built up your shattered self-confidence before. Better this than looking like a cakeface or a tramp, you supposed.

Then Momo and Jirou knocked on your door. “Y/N, you ready yet?” You opened the door and shoved the feeling of inadequacy in the back of your mind.

“Yea!” You followed the UA crowd out of the dorms and you could see Midoriya and Ochaco talking excitedly about the match—it seemed you weren’t the only one surprised by this. Midoriya was vividly recounting Shindo’s quirks and the pros and cons against Bakugo….

When you went over to the gym where the match was being held, your group joined with the other classmates already there. It looked like Kaminari had saved a row for everyone, patting the seat next to him for Jirou. Mina waved to you, grinning like a banshee and wildly flailing for the seat next to her.

“Y/N, I saved the best seat for you!” She slyly gestured to the view…. that was angled towards Bakugo’s back and… Shindo’s front muscular chest. Did she know? Your heart leaped. Then Mina pointed towards the Ketsubusu’s Academy’s growing crowd. “This is our chance to see the hotties from other schools! I mean we got some fine men but a girl’s gotta window-shop!”

“Hmmm….” You watched interestedly now—you had only ever seen Tatami. But it seemed a fair number of girls had gathered and were pointing at… Shindo? You saw him gesture with his ‘aw shucks’ routine, bashfully giving a smile to the girls before the match. You recognized that look from the UA Provisionals, it reeked of blatant insincerity. You guess fangirls really were blind in love and adoration? They would be in for some cruel reality…. Meanwhile, people were avoiding Bakugo since he had his threatening face on. He was flipping people off and giving no attention to any of the bystanders around him. He just wanted to beat the earthquake bastard.

“Yo, Bakugo, you might wanna look a little less murdersome!” You shouted in good fun from your seat. Bakugo flipped you off while Kirishima and Mina snickered at Bakugo’s salty expression.  Really, you admired Bakugo’s hero ethic, nothing was gonna stop him from getting to the top. But Shindo…? That was a different story. Eh, you couldn’t ponder it anymore since Aizawa sensei had shown up (with a sour look at all the audience) before commencing the match.

You were on the edge of your seat for the next 30 minutes as Bakugo and Shindo traded blow after blow; Shindo had a weakness since Bakugo was airborne due to his thrusters. But Shindo would drag Bakugo down and engage in hand to hand combat. Your legs were creeping closer and closer together at seeing those broad shoulders, rivulets of sweat down his neck and temple, and his determined expression. How would it look if it was faced at you? Focus on the match, not Shindo’s muscles. Focus, Focus. Eventually it came down to the timer and Bakugo had landed a higher number of blows.          

At Shindo’s loss, you felt a keen sense of disappointment. Some part of you cheered for Bakugo but you were desperately craning your neck to see Shindo’s reaction. His face remained darkened though as he turned around and went to his growing number of fangirls who cooed over him. With that many girls, why would he ever take a second look at you? They would cling onto him and stroke his overbearing ego—unlike you. You didn’t even have the courage to attempt to flirt with him. So what? You were blissfully single; you weren’t looking for anything with him.... Right?  

“… Y/N!” You were jolted away from staring, and secretly fantasizing, at Shindo. “Come on, let’s head out!” Kirishima put an arm around your shoulders and Mina was tugging at your sleeve in post-match excitement.

“Yeah! What are we doing now?” You pushed your hair back over your ear, the locks falling in every which direction. Slowing just a step back, you took one last look over your shoulder…  You mentally took a picture of those sinewy muscles, pledging to engrave it forever for those dark moments in your lonesome room. You had a great pro-hero path ahead of you, great friends, great family…

But fuck.

You definitely did not see Shindo looking at your retreating form with a smirk on his face.

 ----------------------------------------------------------

Repeat that fuck. Because you were in another karaoke room with this raucous UA and Ketsubetsu crowd mere hours later. It turned out that everyone wanted to celebrate the match by getting stupidly, wildly drunk. Drinks were smuggled in—god, you knew Aizawa was probably looking the other way—gotta let students be students.

People were chugging alcohol and dancing on tables. This was probably the most normal ‘school’ experience you could’ve had… Even ‘hero’ schools needed to let loose sometime. But you honestly didn’t do very well in this scene. You were content to nurse your drink while leaning against a quiet corner.

God, even Bakugo and Midoriya were drunk— Bakugo had been egged on while Midoriya probably didn’t even realize he took some spiked punch. He was a new level of naïve and that adorable boy had turned beet red. You just face palmed at seeing his embarrassing antics.

“Y/N!” Camie came bouncing over to you, palpable relief on her face. “You’re the only sober looking one here! Can you watch this idiot for a second? Maybe get him to drink some water?” She brought on over… Shindo?! “He’s becoming deadweight and he is ruining my chances tonight! He is the worst wingman ever to get so drunk after losing!” She dropped the deadweight—Shindo— onto the floor next to you with his legs sprawled open.

“I swear to god, he isn’t going to remember anything tomorrow! This incorrigible jerk is going to be black-out drunk like always….” Camie’s voice trailed off and got a little bit... higher? She looked away nervously, but you could see her gaze fall on … Ojiro? She said wingman... Oh no, she was trying to get together with him! You blushed for her!

“Camie, I got this. I’ll make sure he gets some water!” You tried to give her an encouraging look. Oh god, you were so bad at flirting and set ups! You could see how awkward this was for the both of you! But you would try your hardest to help her.

She bounced away while you…. Bent down… Oh gods you had never been this close to him before. You put your palm to his forehead, trying to feel how hot he was. Damn, he ran like a furnace. Shindo merely lolled his head to the side, sighing when your cool fingers made contact.

“Fuck, that feels nice.” Your hand shot back at hearing him talk. You didn’t think he was awake…

“I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay. Do you want some water?” You were careful to keep your voice low, awkwardly putting your hand on his clothed shoulder.

“I’m thirsty.” His voice dropped low and you felt a twinge between your thighs at the cool gravel of it. “But I’m thirsty for something else…” He let the comment sit between you two…. But your inquisitive eyes flew between him and the punch.

“Honey... don’t look away.” His hot hands wrapped around your neck to crane your face towards his. “I want something wet, something that tastes like you.” You stood shock still, trying to see if you had misheard him…? Was he flirting with you?! Shindo gave a seductive grin as his other hand snaked up your bare thighs.

“Shindo!” You couldn’t hold back your squeak of surprise, feeling him so close to your panties. You tried to look down but he kept you locked in place.

“Come on baby, don’t you want to console little ‘ol me?” His voice was doing things to you— you could feel your legs grinding closer together, trapping his inquisitively still fingers between your thighs. “Baby, you’re so warm and wet for me already?”  He started rubbing his fingers lightly over your panties, feeling the damp spot that had built up from his earlier match.

“Wait—“ You tried to curl in, reach for his hand to stop him but he pushed aside your panties to slip a finger, rubbing it up and down your slit. A single lone digit had you stopping any protests, feeling it fucking vibrate. You leaned in closer, gasping, and he gave a satisfied smirk. His other cupped your butt in delectable promise.

“I can make a mess of you if were a little less of a public place…. Unless you’re into that, baby.”

Public place. Oh god. You straightened out, remembering you were in the dark karaoke room with people everywhere! He was fingering you where everyone could see! “Please, you’re not thinking straight.” You tried to say but stuttering as he pulled his digit away and licked it obscenely.

“Baby girl, don’t you want to be a good girl for me?” Shit, shit, shit. Baby girl. You moved before you could think, crushing your lips to his. He moved as if he knew what his sultry words would invoke, immediately balling his hands into your messy hair, plunging, ravaging, owning you.

“Wanna get out of here?” You nodded helplessly. He quickly hauled you up and left the raucous karaoke room with you by his side.

Fuck it, he wasn’t going to remember anything after tonight. What harm was it if you grabbed this one night with him?

You were inexperienced with sex, probably bad at it, but you didn’t care. It wasn’t like he would remember right?

So, repeat that fuck. No one would’ve ever expected you to be in the bathroom, sitting on Shindo’s lap and spreading your legs lewdly open for him. Your panties had long been discarded as you rutted desperately against Shindo Yo’s hand. “Please, Shindo…” Shindo squirmed a thumb into your asshole, teasing the puckered hole and was thrusting fingers in your cunt. You wanted something more…. Something bigger.

“Fuck…” Shindo watched at how wet you got for him, the sound of his fingers moving in and out and squelching lewdly. “Can you feel that?” You made a dissatisfied noise until his fingers went deeper into your cunt. “Bitch, you’re not satisfied. You need it deeper?” You made a keen whining noise, wiggling your hips. He shoved another digit in, now thrusting three of his digits deeper in while vibrating it and feeling the delicious squeeze of your cunt around him.

“I guess alcohol makes you numb huh? But the fun things I can do to you…” He breathed the words into your neck, giving a salacious grin at your wanton, deprived state.  Shit, vibration hero wasn’t just a title. He relished watching as your hips jerked forward, your boobs shoved lasciviously into his face in desperate need.

“God, you’re so buttoned up and serious most of the time. But here and now? Are you so hungry for me that you wanted to jump me in the bathroom?” Shindo’s fingers withdrew to your dismay. You whined as he gripped your cheeks painfully, smirking at your needy expression. “Honey, you gotta tell me what you want? Don’t just expect me to do all the work here.”

This was your only chance with him. Come tomorrow, he wouldn’t remember a thing and you could hold this memory in the darkest corner of your heart. Just one good long fuck and he would get back to his life and yours without anyone being the wiser. “Shindo, please...”

“Do you want me to finger you until you cum?” Shindo could get you off here and now—but you shook your head wildly and gave him a pleading look. Your cunt was throbbing for him and you wanted to feel his cock in you.

You laced your hands into Shindo’s hair and forced the brunette to look at your lust-hazed eyes, pitching your own voice low…  “Please fuck me, Shindo. Just stop teasing me, use me like I’m your fuck toy.” Shindo groaned low as he lowered his hands to your thighs and squeezed painfully at the plump flesh there.

“Babe, you’re such a dirty girl.” He hauled you up, shoving his pants down low with his cock jutting out. He couldn’t even be bothered to take his jeans off, but this sordid detail made the encounter more real to you. You looked down at his engorged length, heavy and hot against your cunt. God, even his dick was deliciously huge. Wasn’t just ego then.

 “Tell me, are you the type of slut who just wants a dick when you get drunk?” You took a deep breath; ignoring your rational thoughts that this was a stupid way to tell him and decided to just confess…

“Just you Shindo. Please… I’ve been wanting this for years. Please, please….” With that, Shindo groaned as he forced his cockhead into your abused cunt. He eased in... making you think Shindo was more gentle that he let on? Right up until he shoved you down onto his cock, grinning at the sharp jerk of your body and the scream that tore itself out of your throat. Shindo thought to himself: You wanted him to use you like his toy, so that’s what you would get.

You had heard Shindo fucked well. That didn’t begin to describe it—your pussy clenched against his cock at the rough treatment, the burning stretch turning you on with its delicious bite of pain. He thrusted with a piston movement, faster than you’d ever been fucked. When he started vibrating again? You felt your orgasm crash upon you. Your own nails raked against his back as he continued thrusting through your climax, biting down on your neck as he came inside you.

You both sat there for a second… breathing too hard to say anything. You had never had an orgasm that good before—and you honestly didn’t know if Shindo thought this was just a good fuck or shitty sex. Coming down from the high…. You had time to think. Which made you feel wildly inadequate—was this the part where you said something? Like, ‘thanks for the sex, I’m out?’

Was it too dumb to ask if he liked it? Was it even dumber to think maybe he had heard that you confess?

“Um…” You moved your leg and winced at feeling the seeping wetness crawl out between you two. “Shindo..?”

He was surprisingly quiet. His usual smug expression was hidden as he slumped into your shoulder. You eased away from him… but felt his hands tighten on your thighs as if to keep you there. Now you were very unsure of what to say.

“Shindo…. Let me look at you.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the dark locks as you tried to lift the heavy weight of his head to see his expression…? Was this something more to him too? “Please, let me know if you’re okay...”

“SHINDO! HONEY BUNS! LOVE OF MY LIFE!”

But then you were crushed with an overwhelming sense of guilt as you heard Tatami’s lilting voice calling for Shindo. The very same name but her cheerful bright voice was laced with concern—

“Fuck.” That what his first words after his sexual interlude with you was. From his forceful, angry gaze at the door… Oh god, were you his sordid secret? Your heart sank. He was drunk, he would probably black-out, did he even realize who he was with? Did he think he was fucking Tatami? Is that what this was?

“Shindo, let me go.” You crawled off his lap, forcing the hot and wet threat of tears down and keeping your voice steady. Shindo looked at you in panic—he couldn’t even bother to look at you earlier, but he would for Tatami? You didn’t even warrant your own, thank you, fuck you. “I guess it’s time to run huh?” You pulled your hair back, pulled your shirt to a modest length, as Tatami’s voice got closer.

Shindo shoved his pants more fully on, “Hey—this isn’t what you think this is. Let me explain.”

“Really?” You whirled around and threw him the most venomous glare you could muster—“Do you even know my name? Or am I just a fucking nameless bitch you mistook for Tatami? Because she is right there,” You jerked a thumb to the door and bit your lip, “She’s perfect and so amazing—” and you remembered Camie…. She trusted you. You had taken advantage of this. “And you’re fucking drunk so I’m literally the shittiest person ever. God, please forget this ever happened.”

Shindo was starting to look irritated at your non-stop words and made a move to speak but you slapped your hand on his mouth. Why else would she be looking for him? “Shindo, don’t explain anything to me. Just make things right by her and don’t ruin this because of this. You guys would be amazing together and she doesn’t deserve to know I fucked it up for you.”

You shoved him back into the bathroom as you exited, rather abruptly as Tatami turned to the wrong hallway. This would be perfect because it would give Shindo some time and you could escape— you could hear Shindo fumbling with the door, but you ran before he could catch you. Turned out your UA skills made you slightly faster than him.

You shoved your way to the exit, screw your purse, you could text Kirishima to take it home for you. You hailed the first taxi out the door to get you home as quickly as possible. It wasn’t until the car sped away that you took your first real breath… and sobbed.

“God, I’m so stupid to think he would ever look twice at me.”

You curled your hands around your cold arms, arms that had just been around Shindo… Was it too much to ask for a single night?

Was it too much to be in love?

--------------------------------------------------------------

 “Y/N!” You had stayed in your room for the week, only crawling out to the third-year common rooms on Friday. You had gone home that night and laid on your bed, sobbing into the sweater that had briefly held Shindo’s scent. Maybe you were masochistic or something; holding onto something that was so painful to you. But the faint earthy smell, musk, and cedar was hard to let go.

“Yes?” You tried to smile. Midoriya came bounding up to you with a worried look. “You went home so suddenly the other night! You disappeared and never came back!”

“What, you get sick? You look like shit.” Bakugo snickered. Sero slapped him with one of the pillows and you could hear his frantic whispered conversation, you don’t tell a girl she looks horrible. The other girls were around, and Mina was creeping up on Sero, Kirishima and the others to get closer to you.

“Um… Yea.” You tried to laugh it off. But Midoriya still looked worried as he took in your slightly puffy eyes. It seemed like he could see through your flimsy excuse.

Thankfully, Mina interrupted you both with a mischievous grin. “Y/N, you had people asking after you after karaoke!” She had a sing-song tone, waggling her eyebrows. But your heart sunk further… Had it been Tatami? Camie? Had she found out? Because coming from Mina, this could be anyone.

“…Who was it?” If it was, you would face up to it. Because you were Y/N, and you didn’t run from your problems and you’d apologize to her.

“Actually…. It was Shindo.” Mina squealed and made kissy-kissy motions at you.

“Guys, shut up. It would never happen—” Bakugo scoffed and gestured toward you. “She wouldn’t date Mister Two-Faced, no one here is stupid enough to do that.” You felt defensive at hearing that about him, even if he is the source of your misery right now. 

“Bakugo, just because I wouldn’t date him doesn’t means he’s not a good hero. I’m just….” You trailed off, trying to come up with an excuse. But maybe your emotions were too raw, you found your bravado lacking as your voice became small. “… not good enough.”

Anything further was cut off as Bakugo suddenly lurched up, staring daggers at you. Even Midoriya had gone quiet, his brows furrowed. What had you done wrong?

“I don’t think saying that is reason for both of you to be so mad at me. What did I even do?” You wouldn’t stand there and take Bakugo’s shit. You weren’t good enough for Shindo but you were good enough to take on any of your friends in a fight. “Guys, why are you so mad at me?”

Kirishima’s mouth may have been open, he swears he wasn’t but you saw him rapidly point to... you? Behind? Whatever. His eyes were blown wide and he was trying to be subtle as fuck but you weren’t having it. You were trying to get over heartbreak, you came to see your friends and this was what you got?

“I swear to god, I will kick your ass, in training, Bakugo if you don’t look me in the eyes and talk to me like I am a human being and not like I grew another fucking head—”

You heard someone clear their throat, maybe even hold back a scoff and that voice was oh-so-familiar. Like someone you recently heard moaning. Someone that you… kindly shut your mouth and swiveled around with the fakest smile plastered on your feature. How did I miss Kirishima’s cue?

Shindo Yo was in your apartment complex. In your dorm common room. In front of you. Probably had been behind you and overheard what you said. To your dismay, he wasn’t uglier, but he was even more handsome in your two-day respite and everlasting embarrassment that could swallow you whole right now. Please let me die.

“Hey fuckface, you’re in the wrong school.” Bakugo was snarling at him as Shindo waved to the room.

“Hey blastie, it’s nice to see you too.” He gave a saccharine sweet smile to Bakugo, fully knowing how easily riled he was. Bakugo scowled at the name, ready to call him out.

Shindo smirked at Bakugo but otherwise held his hands up placatingly. “Don’t jump down my throat, I’m not here to pick a fight or spy on you all. You UA students are so jumpy.” Kaminari and Bakugo didn’t look believing but Midoriya finally smiled and gave him a friendly wave.

“What brings you here Shindo? And calm down Bakugo, he’s probably authorized to come inside. UA doesn’t let people just walk in.” Shindo nodded and held up… your bag and phone. No wonder Kirishima said he couldn’t find it! You had tried to ping it on your laptop, but it had been a mess without it and to text the others.

“I’m just here to return Y/N’s stuff and hopefully have a conversation with her.” He cocked his head to the side, glancing at you. He had his own (fake) smile on, giving a puppy dog look to the girls as they started fussing over you two.

“Of course Y/N would be grateful to talk to you!” You would? You looked back at Yaoyorozu who started shushing all the other guys, including Mineta who was shouting that ‘you had betrayed them all for Ketsubetsu!’ You were about to protest but Mina quickly slapped her hand over your mouth, nodding like a crazy person.

“In fact, you two should have some privacy! Off to your room, Y/N” And she discreetly whispered, “Preferably before Bakugo punches his face.”

Not my room. Not my room. You shook your head but Shindo took you by the arm and tightened his hand in warning. “Y/N, it’s the least you could do after I went through all the trouble of coming here.” It wasn’t until you both reached the stairs that Shindo dropped the smile, following your stiff movements to your room.

You waited until you were both safely away from prying ears and you closed your bedroom door behind him. “Shindo, you don’t need to be here. I don’t think we have anything to talk about unless you want me to apologize for troubling you?”

Your brain was running miles a minute. But you didn’t even know how much he remembered. Maybe just play ignorant for now.

Shindo sat down on your bed, throwing your purse carelessly onto a chair. God, he was so sinfully handsome in his black shirt and dark wash jeans. He knew how to flaunt his assets.

“Y/N, you need to stop playing games.” You hovered at the door and inched towards the doorknob… “If you decide to run away again, I’m going to fucking chain you to this bed until you hear me out.”

Scratch your idea of escape—but hot damn, you swallowed down your nervousness and felt your cunt throb. Being chained to his bed sounded far more appealing than it should. You tried to relax… tried to not show how much the threat turned you on. Because you clearly had priorities.

Like how he remembered that you ran away.

Shindo gestured for you to sit. You sat on the farthest corner away on the bed. Shindo gave a long-suffering sigh at your reluctance. “Y/N, I’m not going to bite. I’m not trying to trick you.” He took on a slightly more cajoling tone, tapping the sheets close to him.

“Shindo, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You looked nervously between the bed and him. His eyes turned darker and his voice a little lower.

“Why?” Shindo breathed out.

You shook your head, recognizing the line of question – he was fishing. Better to still be ignorant. Better to stay on-topic.

“So.” You changed the topic. “What do you mean by playing games, Shindo? I’ve never….” You kept the unspoken words in your head, ‘played, I’m in love with you.’ You continued on, "I’ve never asked you to come in. You could’ve just turned this in and gone back to your girlfriend.” You decided to test the waters because maybe he only remembered parts and not the entirety. You could still salvage this situation.

Shindo scoffed again. “And they say I’m the player. So, what if I have a girlfriend? You mean you’d never date me right? Because you’re such a high-born princess. Telling all your friends out there how you’d never consider me.” Your hands tightened together on your lap.

“Does it matter? You don’t need another notch on your belt, you have someone amazing and wonderful. She’s probably an amazing girlfriend already.” You were confused at his disparaging tone. Why was he turning this around on you? Why did he want you to suffer here with him? Did he just want to humiliate yourself?

“I’ll be nice and cut to the chase Y/N. Do you think I’m the kind of asshole to cheat on … Tatami?” It seemed to take a second for him to say her name. Like he was uncomfortable.

Well, if he was going to be honest…. “Shindo, I don’t think you’re an asshole. You act like one but I know you care and you’re not as evil as you say you are.” You breathed deep, reminding yourself you would face him once and for all. “I think you were drunk, and I was in the wrong for doing what I did.”

“Then why did you do it?” Shindo stared at you.

“Because—” Wow, this was getting uncomfortable fast. “You probably wouldn’t remember, and I thought you wouldn’t care. Not that I would ever help someone cheat, but can I blame you for mistaking me for her?” You tried to give off a casual shrug. “It was dark, it was hard to see. Obviously, my fault for thinking it was something else right?”

Shindo quirked an eyebrow, giving you a vague ‘hmm’.

What was up with this?

“You said you wanted to talk, and I said my piece. Why don’t you just tell me what you want me to do? Tell Tatami? Tell you I fucked up?” You were getting a little peeved; Shindo was literally your wet dream and he was in your room. This was the stuff of your daydreams, but this was the worst situation imaginable.

“I think you’re lying to me.” Shindo kicked off his shoes and swung his legs up to make himself comfortable. “And I don’t feel like leaving until you tell me the truth.”

Oh dear lord, this man was insufferable.

You crawled across the bed and shoved a hand into his chest. Trying to push him off but he made himself more comfortable into your pillows. “You, Shindo, are dating another girl and you’re sitting in my room wanting what? The truth or did you want some sex? Because this sounds like you want some pussy and I’m not the kind of girl who gives it up like this.”

“You gave it up in the bathroom.” Shindo’s eyes fell to your revealed cleavage, the neckline of your sweater had fallen when you got onto the bed. You shoved his face upwards, indignant now.

“That was because I thought you wouldn’t remember and you would forget everything! Even if I confess to you, it doesn’t matter.” Your voice broke on the last word as you finally felt the tears come back.

Shindo’s arm reached out for your elbow, grasping it slowly. Almost like he was actually unnerved by the fact you were crying. The gentleness in contrast to his normal roughness was endearing. He even rubbed your arm as he waited for you to continue. “Stupid Shindo, don’t look at a girl crying. That’s what I call an asshole move.”

“Y/N, do you want to be friends with benefits then?”

“Absolutely not.” Your answer was immediate. You wouldn’t compromise your morals for even him. “I’m not gonna help you cheat now I know you’re dating.”

“So you wanna date me instead then?”

You looked to the side. “No...” Even if it was in the realm of possibility.

“Then why did you confess if you want nothing from me? You wanted a good fuck? Should’ve known you’re the one who wanted a notch on your belt….” He sighed in mock disappointment.

You turned to him, affronted for both you and him. Your feelings weren’t that shallow! If anything, he should know that about you. “I won’t be your friends with benefit because I’m too invested in you. I actually like you and I’m not stupid enough to do that!” You couldn’t handle that kind of relationship.

“Then why won’t you date me?” Shindo goaded.

You couldn’t believe his asinine words. “Did you not get how I said Tatami is literally perfect?!” You were furious enough to shove a punch at him and he dodged it. You scampered upright and gestured to yourself.

“I’m not delusional Shindo so please fucking shut up about dating. I’m not good enough for you,” You threw up your fingers to rattle off your points, “I’m not pretty enough, I’m not confident enough, I’m not sexy enough.”You couldn’t stop yourself, memories of your ex-boyfriend’s accusations came flying in. “I’m a ‘fucking selfish prude’ because I want to be a pro-hero more than anything; even more than a stupid relationship.” You caved into your stupid insecurities and rants, expecting Shindo take a step back. Any guy would walk away from this kind of crazy.

Because everything your ex-boyfriend had pointed out, showed that you would never be good at a relationship. You were too independent, you were too focused, you were too selfish to ever be a good girlfriend. But … “I know this and I wanted to know what one night with you would be like….” Your voice fell to a pathetic, desperateness that you never wanted him to hear.

There was a certain relief though. An ease because you knew he would probably run away and any chance of a relationship was crumbling apart. So, he would leave. Maybe he’d tell everyone downstairs how insane you probably sounded.

“In fact, you’d do yourself a favor if you walked out and forgot this all happened.” Emphasis on the word favor, with as much derision and contempt you could feel.

Shindo rubbed one of his hands at the base of neck as he looked to the side, sighing even more. “You’re a clusterfuck of issues, princess, aren’t you?”

Wow, great words there Casanova.  You gestured to the door in agreement. Obviously, you can leave. Because what could you say? You sighed heavily when he didn’t move though. It seemed he wanted to prolong your misery, embarrassment, and possibly the most botched confession of all time.

“Okay, yes, I’m a cluster fuck of issues. You deserve better than whatever my stupid feelings would take you. So just be happy because you deserve someone amazing.” You knew you were being contrary, you had just confessed to him and turned him down.

“You’re getting to be a broken record Y/N”. Shindo still didn’t leave. You closed your eyes for a few seconds, taking a deep breath in and out…. maybe he was just honestly needed a few minutes for it to sink in.

“Y/N, I’m still here. Closing your eyes and wishing me away isn’t gonna work.” Shindo was giving you a skeptical look now, cross-legged on the bed. He reached over to pull a pillow into his lap. Why was he getting even more comfortable?

Shindo sighed. “You’re a mess but now that the truth is out—the entire truth instead of this half-assed ‘I should be with Tatami’ shit, I have a few things to say.” Shindo wasn’t obtuse, he knew you had been looking at him. You had caught his eye from the get-go when he wondered what you looked like, what happened when your studious exterior was broken and stripped away. In fact, he thought of toying with you and fucking you once until your interest dissipated. It always did when girls found out his true nature. But you… you were different.

“First of all, I’m not dating Tatami. What she was calling me…” He rubbed his fingers between his furrowed brows. “She calls me that for shits and giggles in front of fangirls to mess with me.” You double-took at this.  “I was trying to hook up with you, Y/N, and I’m not dicking around with my friends.” Shindo grimaced at the mere thought.  “Whatever you came away with, I’m not desperate enough to pretend you were her.” You still felt yourself deflate though. He was dicking and fucking around right? At least he knew it was you… Much relief that was, you thought sarcastically.

Shindo waved his hand in front of your face, snapping his fingers. “Hey. Listen to me before you get the wrong idea.” Huh. Shindo was getting surprisingly good at reading you. “I don’t want to date Tatami but I want a chance at dating you.”

You … probably misheard that. “Dating who?”

Shindo chuckled. Actually, genuinely chuckled as he pointed at you. You threw a look over your shoulder to make sure there was no one behind you.  Shindo tried to look put off but his mouth was quirked up in amusement.

“Y/N, stop acting like an idiot. Look at me because I’m not done yet.” He looked relaxed with a bit of snark. You weren’t sure if even Shindo could fake this expression.

“Shindo, you want to date me, a fucking mess?” You interrupted him.

“Sounds like a mess that’s actually in love with me and willing to give me a chance.” Shindo wasn’t oblivious to the fact most women shied away from his dual-nature and strong dose of sadistic cruelty underneath his nice-guy exterior.

“Y/N, we’re both humans. We both have a lot of shit to work through, but it sounds like someone told you that they were an insecure asshole and took it out on you.” He wasn’t…. exactly wrong about your ex-boyfriend. You grimaced at the memories, of all the time you wasted on him.

“I personally wouldn’t mind a pro-hero girlfriend who takes no shit from anyone—even me. In fact, we can both compete for top 10 and beat out your UA classmates.” Shindo appreciated that you valued being a hero rather than a vapid girlfriend. It gave him a vaguely smug superiority to think of you being a hero of your own right, watch you flaunt your success to your UA classmates and watch them look on in envy when you were his girlfriend. Even blastie didn’t score this.

“And you said you weren’t sexy enough? Selfish prude? Y/N, that sounds like a guy didn’t know what he was doing.”

Some asshole obviously didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. You saying this was a fucking invitation to Shindo—you were a composed, staid, straight-laced kind of girl.  It turned him on since he wanted to see how your tight, nearly virgin pussy would take him. He wanted to see your discomposed face fall open in pleasure. He wanted to see how far he could break your composure and seriousness. Shindo had to shove his arousal down, feeling a wave of excitement at the thought of trying to find all your kinks and desires. God the possibilities were endless.

You, on the other hand, were leaning into him in confusion.

“This doesn’t sound like a reason for you to want to date me. It sounds like you’re playing nice-guy to make myself feel better and less crazy?”  In fact, you still half-expected Shindo would say this was all a joke.

Shindo felt his lip curve into a smile, slightly more cunning and a little more saccharine-sweet than you had ever seen him. “Come closer and I’ll tell you why you’re worth the trouble?” He crooked his finger and you felt yourself crawling towards him. He opened his legs, his soothing murmur acting like a lure for you—your worries were overwhelmed in face of his temptingly strong arms.

“Y/N.” You leaned in close—close enough for him to grab your head and crush his mouth over yours. You were so startled that you parted your lips in protest and he took the chance to forcibly shove his tongue in. He kissed like he was devouring you, his tongue licking into all the crevices of your mouth, tasting your sweetness and barely giving you a breath. One of his hands locked your waist in, another at the base of your neck as he refused to give you an inch of space.

This went on for long minutes until he finally lifted his mouth to give you a reprieve. You had been so close, so very close to rubbing your chest against his to feel more of his brawny muscle—but you still had enough reason to stop and shove at him uselessly. Little sanity that you had left…

“Are you suuuuper sure that you want to date someone like me?”

“I want to date you. I’m not in it for some pussy, babe. The truth is you like me despite that I’m a selfish two-faced bastard.” He rasped out. “That you like me enough to want me to be happy even though I want to fucking ruin you.” You found your thighs getting wet at his harsh voice. Shindo chuckled, almost as if he knew what he was going to you. “Some asshole doesn’t know how to handle you but that’s on them. I could have you riding, begging for me and making you come over and over if you were my girlfriend.” You felt his burgeoning erection and you had started to gyrate your hips with his—and you didn’t even realize. Your eyes were starting to glaze over with the promises he made…

But Shindo took on a more serious tone. “That you actually would cry over me because you want me here.” Your hands clenched in his black shirt, finding your sappy sentimental heart at war with the lust crawling from your hot throbbing cunt. As for Shindo…. He remembered your endearing show of affection. After you had left him in the bathroom, he had almost snapped at Tatami for ruining his post-coital moment. It actually felt nice to have you cuddle with him because he normally never cared for it.

“And you crying does things to me.” You looked up, a lilting questioning glint in your eyes. “I want to be the only one you’re crying about. Mostly when I’m fucking you, but I don’t want you with some other dick.” He wanted to be the only person you fell apart for.

“Shindo, I think that’s called sadism.” You quipped. Wow, in the heat of his confession, you still couldn’t hold back your commentary. Shindo liked this about you. Even in the throes of oncoming sex, you also could put him in his place but make him laugh.

“Hey, a relationship is all about compromise, right? It’s a fair trade when you’re the complicated one.” God, Shindo was crude but this confession was better than any flowery words ever could’ve been.

“I don’t know if it’s a compromise when I’m complicated and you’re a sadistic asshole… SHINDO!” Shindo thrust his erection into your clothed cunt as he cut the conversation short.

“Y/N, you’re either going to agree to be my girlfriend and I can fuck you right now. Or you can say no, and I will leave.” Shindo wasn’t really giving you a choice.

“Fine. If you are willing to take me, ‘clusterfuck’ of a mess as I am.” You said, finally feeling an inkling of hope beyond the fears you had built around yourself. You never thought Shindo would take a chance on you… nor you, on him. Because you were also starting to realize Shindo was never going to be the ideal, caring, considerate prince you had imagined in your childhood. And that wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted Shindo just as he was.

Shindo eagerly took off your shirt now, whistling once he saw your bra-less chest. “How could you keep this from me?” The bathroom lighting had done you no justice. You said you weren’t pretty but you were gorgeous. He muttered as much, you thought you even heard something about ‘thank god no one’s gonna fucking know how sexy you are’ but it was muffled as he stuffed his face between your boobs.  He started to slip off your shorts, but you stopped him with a soft kick. “Baby, that’s kinda violent don’t you think?” He didn’t let up though as he tugged it off.

You tugged at his shirt and put on a petulant pout, “Hey, I’m all for equality. Take off your clothes.” Shindo grinned and peeled off his shirt, finally letting you look at his muscled abs you had been admiring for months, that you had only taken peeks at. You impishly stole a kiss from him and unabashedly ran your hands down his abs.

“Wow, now that you’re not all desperate in a bathroom, you’re really mouthy.” He reluctantly ended the kiss, brushing a thumb against your lips at the end of his sentence. You gave a mischievous lick to his fingers, relishing the taste of Shindo’s skin. You craved more, leaning upward to lick the sweat off the base of his throat. He did a quick intake of breath as he growled, “Y/N, I thought you said you were a prude.”

You fell back onto the bed and gave a questioning look? “Apparently? I’ve never been so curious as to how someone else tasted.” You licked your lips to savor it a bit more. Shindo literally groaned.

“Stop saying shit like that or I‘ll be stuffing your mouth full of cock, babe.” Your face went beet-red as you suddenly stared down at his bulging briefs, of course he wore briefs, and envisioned it. “Oh babe, were you imagining it?” He cooed, smugness filling up the room. “You wanna see if I’ll take it slow? Let you get used to it?” He inched his briefs down, inch by inch. “Or will I stuff your face, watch you drool and choke on it?” You tried to cover your face because oh god, you had never been teased before.

“Oh baby, you’re in for so much if you’re embarrassed by just this.” Shindo was going to savor every bit of your embarrassed innocence.  This was pure gold. You were the picture of corrupted innocence with your hair splayed on the pillow, your chest and neck blushing pink, legs lewdly open and he could see the wetness gathering on your panties.

“Shindoooo” You whined.  

“Calm down, I’ll take it easy on you.” For now, he thought silently. He trailed his hand down, exploring the soft skin of your neck, teasingly brushing his hands over your hardened nipples… smirking when you squirmed underneath his gaze. His hand came to your stomach and he held still for a moment. He wondered if his cock could fill you up to the point you’d cry? A thought for another time. He slipped his finger underneath the waistband of your panties and grinned.

“How much do you like this pair?” You shrugged, not really knowing what he meant. At least until he slipped it off and held it tantalizingly to the side. “I kind of want a memento of our first official date.”

“Shindo, that is fucking nasty.” You could actually see how wet it was. Shindo shrugged.

“You said you were in love with me. Nasty is my default mode.” Shindo descended to your navel, sliding lower as he made himself comfortable. He propped one leg over his shoulder—wait, what was he doing? You were too new to this, but he couldn’t be thinking of that right?

“Babe, you gotta let me eat.” He swooped in while you tried to twist out of his grasp but he wasn’t going to let you escape. Never gonna let you run away again. Shindo hadn’t said this but the fact you were faster than him disgruntled him.  He licked deep into your cunt, opening up your moist, tight lips. You couldn’t move from the climbing pleasure as he lapped like a man starved. His mouth followed the throbbing of your cunt to the aching to your clit.  He gently suckled your clit, making breathy whiny gasps fall from your mouth.

“Last time was a little hard and fast. I wanna make sure you know I can be gentle as you want.” He let your orgasm build, watching the quivering of your thighs pull taut—and then the bastard withdrew.

“But is gentle what you want?” Shindo just…. breathed over your sensitive cunt. Didn’t move an inch. You could feel his fingers stroking your leg but nowhere near what you wanted. He was purposely edging you. “I remember what you said before. Are you my little fuck toy?” You nodded a little desperately. But it was not what he wanted to see, judging from his tightening fingers on your leg. He tutted at you.

What had he said before? You scrambled to remember. Remembered how he had lost control of himself at something you said… You realized. “Shindo, fuck your girlfriend like you mean it.” You reached a hand down to spread yourself open.

Shindo had expected something but not like that. “I was gonna go nice and slow because you’re my sweet little girlfriend, but it turns out you’re perfect for me.” He finally, finally started the slide of his fingers to probe deeper into your wet cunt and scissor your insides open. He was looking for that fleshy spot, leering at how your mouth fell open when he did find it. He turned his vibrating quirk on, watching you scream at the sudden quaking pressure. Only when you lay gasping and overstimulated, did he started inching his cock into your wetness. It was snug, tight, and still twitching from your orgasm--- Shindo’s eyes glazed over with pleasure, looking drunk on the feeling of you. 

Once he moved.. oh god. He was drinking up your little whimpers and sighs, starting a dominating rhythm. It didn’t matter what you said or how you begged; he thrust hard and fast,  kept you on edge when he slowed down, only to surprise you by pushing his cock punishingly hard against your sweet spot. It seemed like you were his little rag doll, subject to his whims—at least until he took pity on you, letting you orgasm when he finally came inside you. Even afterward, he kept you impaled and still on his cock. He enjoyed the feeling of cum slipping out of you, rubbing it back into your cunt. You shivered at feeling his fingers circle around, glazing your thighs with his release.

When you finally had some energy to talk, you scoffed. “That was gentle?”

“You should be glad that I didn’t vibrate my dick.” He shifted to lay on top of you, caging you in. You noticed he was careful not to crush you—something small that showed that he cared. He brought his slick fingers back to cup your face. “Gross, Shindo.” He grinned unrepentantly. He nuzzled your neck and you couldn’t resist playing with your boyfriend’s soft hair. It was a moment to cherish.

Then came his next statement. “Hey, what’s your dorm rules on boyfriends?” He barreled on, as if a thought just occurred to him. “Can I surprise McBlastie Bakugo in the morning? What I would give to see his face when he wakes up to see me.” He snickered. “So much for the fact you wouldn’t date me.“ You literally groaned for a whole different reason.

Shindo wasn’t going to let it rest though. When you stubbornly gave no answer, he took a different tactic. “Babe, don’t you want to show me off?” He cajoled you, rolling his hips a little deeper into yours. You clenched around him despite how tired you were. “Or we can just show off how I make you scream? Maybe we can even fuck on his bed?”

Okay. Shindo was an asshole and troll until the end of time, but he was officially your boyfriend. One part of having your dreams came true, you also had to forever mediate between him and your UA friends.

Eh. They could live with it.