#i have also done it so i dont accidentally give my friend whos currently listening any spoilers when i show him stuff

[sisislair]

Can tell I'm procrastinating when I start doing shit like organizing my entire Magnus Archives Playlist on YouTube into chronological order lol.

[betweentheracks]

Heyo! Not to be too nosy here but you mentioned you're in bad health and recovering, and I just wondered what happened? Also how would it impact your career since, from how you've made it all seem thus far, it's a highly active and demanding job?

Hope you take care and get well! You appear quite strong and not like you'd take whatever has happened just lying down, so here's to you!! 🙏💓

No sweat and no worries here, I dont find this particularly invasive. If anything, I'm flattered you care to ask after me lol. 😁

A few weeks back I met a friend I hadn't seen in some time for lunch. This was against my better sense of caution that I've held firmly to throughout the pandemic, but I would feel regretful and dismissive if I didnt agree to see her while I had the chance. I should've listened my gut and stayed safely at work because this "friend" failed to mention she had tested positive (she knew already by the time of our lunch date, she has since admitted) and had figured since she had no symptoms there was no harm in being in public.

FF only a few days later and I was feeling a little unwell but had put it off as an effect of the winter blast that had just hit where I live. I'd spent half a day out in the cold and snow for a photoshoot only the day before and thought it was probably due to that since I'm susceptible to weather influenced head colds and bronchitis. Fortunately, my job mandates a rigid COVID-19 screening twice a week due to our high profile clientele and as an assurance of health and safety for us all. Mine read back with a positive and with the way I had been feeling I was immediately sent home and the company closed its doors while the building was sterilized and our clients notified.

Thankfully I managed not to infect anyone I work with nor my son. Regrettably, I did infect my best friend since we're horrifically incapable of maintaining personal space and have weak shit immune systems. We both agree it is a wonder we made it this far into plague times without it catching us.

So I went and got looked over and sent on my way with my prescription of potent anti-virals and steroids. I was well prepared to abide the quarantine guidelines and had sent my son to my mother's home for the duration so that he was out of the danger zone. It was fine, I was kinda cool and keen on getting a few days to myself to rest up and all that jazz. But it wasn't meant to last and I found trouble in the form of being unable to remain conscious much at all and would pass out constantly. After a few times of this I gave my brother (he's a doctor and vaccinated) a ring and told him that my fatigue was no joke dude and needed him to come give me a better once over than the one I'd gotten before bc I was sure I was not meant to feel this badly. He found me unconscious in the shower that night, my head battered from crashing to the basin.

After ensuring I wasn't concussed and jokes on what a hard head I have to take such a beating and show no signs of registering it beyond bruising (a joke between us due to him having once accidentally put a golf club into my forehead and fracturing my skull but that's a different story) he told me to call him regularly so that he can review how I feel and the progression of my symptoms and left. By the morning I had already had two more instances of sudden fatigue and collapsing in on myself. I had been posting on my main blog here about how I was doing and due to this I caught the concern of @peekbackstage and upon their suggestion to have my O2 levels tested it was revealed that I was having issues with my blood not circulating oxygen as it should and nearing hypoxia.

Here's the rub. I have a heart condition that is already very dangerous and bleak which limits my heart's capability of delivering blood through my body as it should. Cardiomyopathy or, as it seems better known, congestive heart failure. I've had surgery for it and it has been a while since it caused me any real issues as long as I stick to my routine of care and manage my health, but when COVID-19 infiltrated my body it immediately snagged upon this weak heart of mine and sank its fangs in.

Within a day of being admitted to the hospital I had a grand mal seizure due to the constant fluctuations of oxygen in my blood and the way my body was working double time to supplement for it. And only 2 days after that and when my nervous system had finally quieted down, I went into full cardiac arrest with a heart attack at my young age.

My next weeks were spent connected to machines doing more for me than my own body could. I developed pneumonia in my lungs, acute though it was it was still another complication that my wrecked body had to overcome as it made my already ragged breathing even worse. I was steadily shedding muscle tone and definition due to a lack of mobility and the fact that my body felt like a deadweight I could hardly take command of, and generally very weakened. My heart, the horrible thing, was inflamed and trying too hard by beating too fast, too hard.

FF some more and I was doing fairly well and treatments were showing some improvement. My heart was still being an ugly and gnarled beast in my chest and throwing weird spikes on the monitor that raised alarms. The pneumonia was retreating and I had no further seizures. It was the dawning light of my first signs that I was recovering!

It took a while more and so fucking many tests day in and day out for me get cleared for release. I tested negative for COVID-19 and was ashamed that I actually forgot that that was why I was even in the hospital to begin with, given all that happened. I have to undergo physical therapy and counseling; PT for heart happy exercises as well as to manage to my depleted muscles, counseling bc I was rocked mentally from all the almost dying and the depressive haze of being holed up in the hospital and surrounded by people who, like me, came in with COVID-19 but unlike me did not come out of it.

I'm home now. I had to have a pacemaker implanted and must stay vigilant for any showing that my heart is not performing as it should. I still have some severe inflammation and chest restriction in my airways as well as my blood vessels but nothing too daunting. I also have a full battalion of prescriptions, most for my heart, and a nebulizer to ease any breathing issues. The worst is honestly that I still am very weak and have severely limited reserves of energy.

My job is required to make me take 12 weeks of leave for rest and recuperation. This is very upsetting since I had been requested by name to be an assistant stylist at the Grammys this year which is truly a dream (especially with BTS in the mix 😩😩) and also bc I'm just a workaholic by nature and love my job. When I return I am expected to learn how to properly delegate tasks that do not directly require me to handle and slow down the pacing of my projects. My boss terminated a contract with a client that was nearing the scheduled end of our agreement and was also incredibly problematic to help lighten my workload. It's imperative that I reign in my stress levels or my heart will not last until the next surgery I'll need, so I'm gritting my teeth and letting my job be picked apart to reduce my responsibilities.

My post awaits my return but I will not be returning to full activity for a while after, which means no rifling through the racks for hours alongside the archivists in search of the perfect piece. I'll be welcome to meet with my clients and oversee the glam teams, will still be the command tower for final verdicts on which styles to use. But I will not be running around showrooms nor personally handling matters any competent trainee could be tasked with like I've always done. I will no longer be able to fly out anywhere for destination shoots or fashion shows.

If, after my next surgery, things are better and my heart stable to the point that they are hopeful of things will be reevaluated. While it is difficult beyond measure for me to relinquish the reigns of my career and be restricted in what I can do now, I am very thankful to be alive and upright when that wasn't a certainty just a little while ago. This is such a humbling experience to have survived when my stats kept dropping every day. I've been told to expect that I will never make a full 100% recovery and to expect to stall out around the 70%-90% range, with 70% being the most realistic.

My best friend (the one I gave the plague to) will be moving in with me so that I am never on my own if things go tits up and to assist in wrangling a toddler since I am currently without the energy to do so as my child is, sincerely, a crazy gremlin spawn with limitless battery life. Slowly, my life will regain some normalcy 💖

[youareunbearable]

Catch me not having a clue who any of these gods(?) and people are, but still sitting here like, "I ship that pretty one with the gruff one, and that brown haired one with the other(?) gruff one?" without knowing names or what this is except the fanart I see you reblog, because this fandom apparently has lots of nice art

Fam i have no idea what ur talking about or when u sent this im so sorry asfkjhfkjhf but i thiiiinnnkkkk??????? it’s “Heavens Official Blessing” or  Tiān Guān Cì Fú (TGCF for tagging stuff) its originally a chinese gay novel that is soooooooo long by the author  Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX) who wrote 2 (two?????) other novels that I know of that are also gay historical fantasy but i personally havent actually read TGCF???? im just watching the anime and looking at the wiki and reading fanfics so i have a vague idea whats going on but not really???? so i cant really give a good review BUT i LOVE THE CHARACTERS MXTX WRITES SO MUCH AFHAFKFHKFAKF IM SO SORRY IM SHIT WITH TAGGING SO U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM HYPER FIXATING ON BUT

LISTEN

LISTEN 

LISTEN

Pretty one and the gruff one im THINKING is He Xuan (or Ming Yi/ Ming-Xiong/Ming Bro) for the grumpy one and Shi Qingxuan for the pretty one and both are kinda gender fluid?? (more Shi Qingxuan but they both change their forms to be both women and men which is Iconic and the anime put her in the TRANS FLAG COLOUR instead of her canon white and green which is ICONIC) AND THHEYRE SO TRAGIC AND HOT AND I CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT THEIR STORY LIKE AFHDFKJAFDSGS like i want to kinda read the book just for them, the two super minor characters, but i also read somewhere that their story doesn’t really have a clean ending so im also holding back from just getting Emotionally Hurt because im a cancer and i know it’ll wreck me

I think The Two Gruff Idiots are Feng Xin (dark haired gruff boy) and Mu Qing (brown haired gruff boy) and theyre both martial gods and both knew each other for over 800 years and both tried to take care of Actual Human And Heavenly Disaster Xie Lian, failed, and tried to do it again 800 years later but with stupid glasses with moustaches in hopes that Xie Lian cant figure out that they care about him but OOPS Xie Lian does in fact have the braincell of the three of them fajfafjajf 

Heres the link to watch the anime, there are 11 eps rn but it updates every weekend (I dont actually know when but i watch it on sundays) Make sure u have ur ad block on tho lol there is a manga too and the art style is TO DIE FOR like its GORGEOUS but its roughly at the same pace as the anime so eh

Heres where to read the whole thing online, just a warning its BIG AS FUCK like 244? plus extras I think?? 

I’d also recommend MXTX’s other books!

Mo Dao Zu Shi (or Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/ The Untamed/MDZS) is both a Book as well as an Anime (the whole thing is on youtube) , a Live Action which you can watch on Netflix (look up Untamed, also a warning, the plot is a little different from the book and anime cause of uhhh censorship?? also i guess to make it more live drama friendly, my friends an i binged it and really liked it, but some of the fandom doesn’t), a manga which is not finished I think???? idk im not caught up, and a fucking chinese AUDIO DRAMA LIKE BITCH ITS SO WELL DONE but i have to stop listening sometimes cause like there is a difference between watching/reading characters kiss, and then like just hearing them, i get so embarrassed i have to skip the kissing scenes and god forbid i accidentally click on the smutty extras alfjajlfjalfjaljf u can find it on youtube, i linked the one i listen to but i havent finished it and i don’t think it’s all of it, but you can find other episodes/chapters easily

Its about 1 Dumb Yet So Smart gay/bi man (Wei Wuxian) who honestly tries his fucking best, fucks up everything, dies for over a decade, and then is forcefully brought back to life to solve a murder mystery with the guy who has been in Super Gay Love with him since they were teens (Lan Zhan), a bunch of teens Who Are Just Honestly Here For A Good Time And Yet (Lan Juniors, Jin Ling, and Best Boy Ouyang Zizhen ) while badly hiding his real identity from all the people he knows, including his foster brother (Jiang Cheng) who is out for blood and hunting his ass down with a whip and also Lan Zhan who is travelling with him. Also the Killer. There is a killer on the loose and is willing to murder whoever to keep their secrets. Also Nie Huaisang. I adore him and his brother Nie Mingjue, if there is one bitch u gotta remember from this summary it’s this little twink (he and his brother also have a fucking spin off movie from the live action drama THAT I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO FIND A ENGLISH SUB VERSION AND ITS BEEN KILLING ME SINCE I STARTED WATCHING THIS SHOW LAST YEAR. GOOGLE GIVE ME MY FAVOURITE TWINK AND HIS BEAR OF A BROTHER HAVING A FUN FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!)

My Personal Current Favourite is Scum Villain’s Self Saving System (SVSSS) which is SOOOOOOO FUNNY Like it’s not as popular cause the comic was discontinued, and the anime looks like its from 2005 with the weird 3D animation but its my current comfort media!!! 

Its basically about a spite reading millennial (Shen Yuan) who died after reading a REALLY awful popular cheesy smut harem novel (think like 50 shade series but worse cause the protag had 600 wives) and was forced into the body of a minor but important villain (the protagonist’s teacher, Shen Qingqiu) from the novel who was fated to die with all his limbs cut off and his eyes and tongue plucked out and is told he has to fix the story so its not trash, he reasonably freaks the fuck out and hugs the protagonists (Luo Binghe) thigh so hard he turns him gay without realizing. Sadly, he does have to make sure certain plot points happen, which fucks him over a lot,  and he thinks Luo Binghe still wants to kill him instead of love him cause he has the Emotional Intelligence of a Rock, but its so funny reading about him handling all the awful tropey stuff, like imagine u have to be a character in My Immortal But With Porn?????? without breaking out of character too much?? I wouldn’t be able to handle it ajhakfkfhjfj He also finds out that he’s not the only transmigrator in the novel either, but it doesn’t matter cause theyre both So Fucking Stupid Collectively but everyone would honestly die for the both of them

warning for this story though, the main relationship is a teacher/student relationship, but nothing happens until the student is in his 20s and also kinda not his student anymore cause he’s running hell??? but if that squicks u out i totally understand and offer you to PLEASE still enjoy some of this media, and instead of the BingQiu ship, I offer you the LiuQiu one, where both me and the main character cry over how a beautiful man/fellow immortal lord loves the main character so much that he literally fought every day for 5 years to be by his side and I Think Thats Beautiful and I kinda like this ship more than the main one tbh PLEASE just look at the art for Liu Qingge because i love him so much, he’s like if you took Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng from MDZS and mashed them into one beautiful man the author is trying to tell me is straight but u take one look at him And Tell Me Otherwise

[starkeaton]

the adventure zone: graduation character list

Well, i accidentally deleted the original graduation character list post, so here i am making another one. Oops. And as always, if anyone has important details i should add then feel free to suggest them!

Here are all the characters introduced in episodes 1-25. Named characters only!

Also i can’t hide spoilers! So, um..... I can’t put spoilers on this one. If you need the version with spoilers try this version of the post that i made on the adventure zone subreddit but youre not missing out on much.

# -EPISODE 1- (19 characters)

Hieronymous Wiggenstaff (he/him): Head of the Hero/Villain school. at least 400 years old. wears shining blue armor with gold accents. also an elf. according to Tomas, he led the charge at the "battle of blood valley", brought the Kingdoms of Rickart and Dawnbreak to a peace treaty, and founded the school. a little boastful, a little prideful, [SPOILERS OMITTED], and overall a pretty good dude.

Higglemas Wiggenstaff (he/him): Head of the Sidekick/Henchperson annex, cranky old elf. has a dog named hero who shows no signs of anything strange at all, ever. 

Gary (he/him): friendly room gargoyle. pseudo-hivemind.

Groundsy (he/him): the groundskeeper. a pretty nice fellow. don't go in his shed.

Hernandez (he/him): beautiful centaur professor of animal handling.

Jimson (he/him): human battlegrounds trainer for sidekicks/henchpeople, world famous featherweight champion, wields a staff. married to crushman.

Crushman (he/him): silver dragonborn with a sickle, and self-described beefy boy! heavyweight blood champion married to jimson. never lost a match for 8 years. full name Frostus Crushman.

Rolandus Fontaine (he/him): former prince, son of deposed king, kind of an asshole, maybe. wears a cape (important detail)

Zana (she/her): "terrifying" tiefling villain sorcerer, friend of rolandus. barkept the test tavern in ep2

Rhodes (she/her): hero ranger, friend of rolandus.

Buckminster Eden (he/him): hero guy. son of "The Iron Lord". their dad is stronger than rolandus's dad. his wiki page says rogue so i think hes a rogue? i never caught that and ive listened more times than i wish i did

Leon (he/him): softspoken buff, bald "fighter" (although i dont remember any clarification on how exactly he fights), sidekick of buckminster, around 28. anyone else keep forgetting he's bald? i keep forgetting it. >!gets sorta-drafted into becoming a falcon for higglemas and so far hasn't done much else.!<

Rainer Michelle (she/her): cheerful villainous necromancer with a floating chair. also, her name is pronounced "rainier" despite not being confirmed as such? travis ships her with fitzroy.

Tomas (he/him): human man with "kind eyes" and a good (psychic???) memory. guidance counselor.

Stewart LeBoeuf (he/him): brawny human man. serves food. there is no joke here, i promise

Mulligan (he/him): teaches potions. mentioned but doesn't appear yet. and we're like 25 episodes in. maybe we'll see him someday

Germaine, Victoria, Rattles (he/him,she/her,???/???): Skeleton crew. They live in the training room i guess, and as a result can never die, because "no one dies in the training room!" (note: someone now HAS to die in the training room). also their races are never explicitly stated but i guess they're probably human? in episode 3 travis brings up something about how many bones are in "the human body" and at this point i think i'm looking too deep into this so i'll just forget about it and you probably should too.

# -EPISODE 2- (9 characters)

Riveau (he/him): halfling, blame-taking teacher.

Mimi (they/them): gnome sidekick who builds cool robot prosthetics

Bartholemus (he/him): owl aarakocra accountant teacher, known for being the best accountant in the land and having a face some might describe as "smoochable". very pro capitalist :’( hope he gets better

Ramos (she/her): goliath teacher of shieldwork. *

Dip (she/her): sidekick, half-orc twin of pip

Pip (she/her): hero, half-orc twin of dip

Festo (they/them): fairy with "beautiful gossamer wings", independent study teacher of magic, loves to party

Snippers (he/him?): Let me tell you my story about Snippers the magic crab. When Travis gave the list of animals that Griffin could choose as Fitzroy's familiar's current form, he listed crab near the start, and this gave me excitement. Now i knew that crab was pretty unlikely but god i hoped that he would choose it. When the list went on- Bat, Cat, Crab, Frog, Hawk, Lizard, Owl, Poisonous Snake, Fish, Rat, Raven, Seahorse, Spider or Weasel- I nearly lost hope. I was hoping so hard that Griffin would choose the crab, but i was ready to accept a non-crab familiar. It was just buried in that list. It wasn't the most useful animal and it was an obscure pick. And as Travis informed him that it didn't have to keep the form for the whole campaign, Griffin said those five words i wanted to hear so, so badly. "Well then it's a crab." Folks, I do not often react physically when something happens in media. But in that moment, i remember very clearly, i fist-pumped and yelled, "YES!!!!!!"

so anyway, Fitzroy has a crab.

Jackle (he/him): kenku teacher of sneakery. creepy dude. apparently knows something about argo? also his name is not spelled "jackal" for some reason. Also in later episodes theyve started calling him "The Jackle" for some reason??? *

# -EPISODE 3- (1 character)

Dakota (they/them): tavern instructor, clad in black/red leather. no race stated? probably human. *

# -EPISODE 4- (6 characters)

Gerry & Tom (she/her, he/him): shopkeepers at barns and nobles who seem to have very bad names. also constantly competing for customers? these guys got dropped faster than the heathcliff quests, which is honestly just sad.

Barb (she/her): the bartender. runs Springs Eternal in Last Hope. has a sweet seeing-eye hawk familiar. 

Jaryd Reginald (he/him): owner of Reginald Ore. Wants the workers to be held responsible for the damage caused by the xorn. (fun fact: originally i wrote down "Jerrod" because i wanted it to sound like a fantasy name, then realized it was probably "Jared" because theyre named after listeners, but i was pleased to find it confirmed that it's actually "Jaryd")

Candice (she/her): A Miner. thought those werent allowed in bars but, i guess not. Wants the mine owner to be held responsible for the xorn's damage.

Jade Johnson Esq. (she/her): lawyer.

# -EPISODE 5- (1 character)

Xorn: a big hungry gem eating guy from the plane of earth Low-Down Deep with 3 arms and 3 legs. why did travis just say "multi-armed" instead of specifying it was 3? who knows! Anyway it leaves

# -EPISODE 6- (3 characters)

Osric (he/him): the man, the myth, the bursar. finally shows up after being mentioned in episodes 2 and 4. he's an elf. 

breeze through the willows (she/her): Pegasus attacked by demons, lost her parents. introduced in ep1 but gets a name here so fuck it. also in ep>!16!< we find out shes a "white arabian pegasus" and i dont think thats a spoiler bc we shouldve really known it from the beginning

Sabor (he/him): Librarian/research teacher. also a TORTLE. Really good at recalling stuff, i guess. kinda reminds me of Tomas's memory thing but i'm sure that's just a coincidence... *

# -EPISODE 7- (1 character)

Mosh (he/him): The goliath blacksmith who welcomes argo into the unbroken chain. Also, and this is specific to the tumblr version of this post, all the characters with an * at the end of their descriptions are also members of the unbroken chain. if someone knows how to do spoilers on tumblr please tell me

# -EPISODE 8-

:)

# -EPISODE 9- (2 characters)

Eeiïäá#æ&éñn (pronounced like "Ian") (he/him?): an imp but without a shitty voice. also happens to not be violent. what a coincidence?

Terence (he/him): a chain devil with a real demonic name. minor boss of the imps. very convincing and very threatening. has the frightening ability to make you zone out during his fight

# -EPISODE 10- (2 characters)

Althea Song (she/her): elf with autumn-orange hair. representative from heroic oversight guild. i'd like to personally thank travis for spelling her name out.

Crabtree (she/her): Artificing teacher. Long gray hair with a long grey beard. no mentioned race, one might guess dwarf but that would be an assumption i suppose. also unbroken chain member, presumably the dwarf argo didn't recognize in episode 7.

# -EPISODE 11- (3 characters)

Marie (she/her): Grey-haired elf woman. She's the school's physician, i guess. Member of the unbroken chain.

Dendra Maplecourt (she/her): Fitzroy's mom. Has hot mint gum, i guess. She was mentioned earlier but i wasn't convinced she was a real person until this episode

Cool Gary (he/him): AYY ITS ME GARYR

# -EPISODE 12-

no new characters again!

# -EPISODE 13- (7 characters hhhyyyuu)

Kale (???/???): Head of the Placement Department, in charge of real world assignments. First mentioned in Ep4 but i missed that the last few times bc it is so brief. Gives exposition about missions i guess????? is that the only reason this chara cter exists

satyr thief (unnamed) (he/him): tries to rob thundermen, dies instantly

Ogre (he/him): teamed up with the satyr. his name is ogre.

Moon (he/him): A Sidekick. small pale sullen guy. no mentioned race. Why is there another FUCKING sidekick WE HAD ENOUGH hhhyuuuuuu

Deanna (she/her): A bigoted centaur with an obnoxious voice. Malwin the Strong's second in command.

Malwin the Strong (she/her): Leader of the centaurs of the scarlet woods. Wants to appease the spirit of the scarlet woods so that thecentaurs of the scarlet woods will be protected in the scarlet woods. Had a relationship with Arturas in the past but their clashes are currently known to get pretty heated.

Arturas (he/him): Leader of the Centaurs of the Valley, i guess. Had a relationship with Malwin. Centaur. Did i mention centaur? i cant think of anything else about this character

# -EPISODE 14- (2 characters)

Calhain (he/him): Human wizard, Malwin's magical advisor. Kind of an amateur wizard in a job high above his skill level. Graduated Wigginstaff's as a hero.

Spirit of the Scarlet Woods: A spirit who requires sacrifice in order to keep Malwin's herd safe and prosperous. Not keen on dubiously canonical combos, i guess. i wouldnt be either. also apparently the sacrifice depends on personal value, not how much value it has to the spirit.

# -EPISODE 15- (2 characters)

Sylvia Nite (she/her): Fitzroy's magic theory teacher at knight night school, who he turned into a catfish by accident. oops!

Chaos (they/them, maybe more): Presumably a deity, gave Fitz his powers and wants him to give in to his chaotic desires. (physical desc: 9 foot tall, iridescent 'mother of pearl' skin, pure white eyes, fine burgundy cloak with gold/onyx lining. their physical form beyond that seems to change every time they show up.)

# -EPISODE 16-

none -w-

# -EPISODE 17-

some demins happened. the big dudes are called "Pit Fiends" and the armored demon ladies are called "Erinyes", by the way. that was incredibly hard for me to figure out the first time, especially without headphones, i thought travis was saying "pig feet" and i just could not discern what the other things were

# -EPISODE 18- (6 characters)

snow on the mountain: shire horse pegasus

storm at sea: peruvian paso pegasus, vehement defender of The Guardian. doesn't have a goofy voice.. but he could have....

thaw of the spring: a winged horse

night of no clouds: a winged hhorse

The Guardian: "An ancient and powerful being that guards the unknown forest." Has protected the flock from demons for many many years. apparently is the voice that was talking to our firbolg in episode 1?

Grey, the Demon Prince (he/him): wants to cause a war, originally wanted to kill hiero and higgs, forces the heroes to build an army to fight his. As "Fauxronimous", he has skin the *color and pattern of* (but not necessarily made of) slate splashed with liquid, pointed ears, sharp teeth, shining eyes, horns of unspecified shape. 12 fucking feet tall. wonder if the slate-looking skin is related to garys. plot twist detected? Also i recently looked at the episode descriptions and found out his name is spelled "Gray", but really does it truly matter?

# -EPISODE 19- (2 characters)

Shabree Keene (she/her): Argo's mom, killed on the Mariah, possibly by the Commodore. Long auburn hair, green eyes. Mentioned earlier but described here, so fuck it.

**Thomas** (he/him): Argo's first mate on the Mariah, as the Kraken, in his chaos-dream. may or may not actually exist.

# -EPISODE 20- (1 character)

The Commodore (he/him): Reknowned hero of the seas, military regalia, great naval hero, presumably responsible for the death of Shabree Keene. No mentioned race. Seriously, they never mention this guy's race. The only thing described about him is how he's dressed and his evil smile. Does that mean he's human? Elf? Dwarf??? Who knows! maybe it just doesnt matter. 

# -EPISODE 21-

none

# -EPISODE 22-

not any of them. not any.

# -EPISODE 23- (1 character)

Ozymondelius (sp???) (it/its): A warforged teacher who just so happens to like war or something? i guess its in the name. only mentioned in this episode, doesnt show up yet.

# -EPISODE 24-

they have a fight in the training room but nobody dies :\\ maybe next time. also no new characters. pog

# -EPISODE 25- (4 characters)

Gherkin (he/him): Tall lankier skeleton, has a scimitar and a merkin, which is a pubic wig... and he wears a jerkin? which i guess is a kind of coat? also i think hes mute 

Tibia (she/her?) : Shorter skeleton with gold teeth, and long canines. i think both of the skeletons are mute actually.

The Lich King aka Gordy (he/him): Rainer's dad. Commands armies of the undead. lives in The Crypt. described as a hooded, skull-faced man with intricate black lines on his face, but changes to a shaved-head man with dark skin and vetiligo. Abandoned as a babby, raised by traveling parents, had necromancy powers, took Rainier in. Not actually very scary at all i don't know why he did the creepy laugh. Kind of a warm fatherly figure actually. hm. also people are speculating Gordy might be short for Gordita and his parents are maybe supposed to be lup and barry but THAT S JUST A THEORY.

our firbolg's father (he/him): A firbolg who lived by the code and was there when our firbolg was banished. Came to respect our firbolg's interest in a new way of life, in his final moments.

TOTAL: 72 NPCS! (well, including 2 extra PCs, i guess.)

Average: 2.88 NPCs per episode.

i was gonna not include the bone-PCs and have it be 69 but our firbolg's dad was just too important to not respect with a spot on the list.

anyway as always make sure to smack me with a blunt object if i forgot any characters!!!!!

[damienhaasbaybee]

Figured it out 😂 for the let's get personal, can I request that you do them all?

I DID IT BAYBEEEEEEE.

* 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

I’ll Be There For You and Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi, In My Head by Ariana Grande, I Believe by Jonas Brothers, Air Force Ones by Nelly, and Chasing Pavements by Adele

* 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Harry Styles or Damien Haas so they can fall in love with me.

* 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“me that it was a sometimes temporary paralysis that causes damage”

* 4: What do you think about most? the fact that I have nothing to really work towards

* 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“I’m tireddd”

* 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

without most of the time

* 7: What’s your strangest talent?

number and address recall 🙄 its embarrassing sometimes lol

* 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls go to college to get more knowledge boys go to jupiter to get more stupider

* 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

fuck no lol

* 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

um... today.. in the car

* 11: Do you have any strange phobias?

raw chicken.

* 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

a piece of ice so i could pierce my nose.

* 13: What’s your religion?

christian

* 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

um... if its for pleasure... swimming.

* 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

* 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

of all time... linkin park or one direction

* 17: What was the last lie you told?

that I’m fine lol

* 18: Do you believe in karma?

v much so

* 19: What does your URL mean?

um... i am damien haas’ baybee and he is also my baybee

* 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness, helping people until I die strength, i am honest

* 21: Who is your celebrity crush ?

james marsden, david dobrik, zac efron, miles teller, damien haas...

* 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no

* 23: How do you vent your anger?

i sing real fucking loud

* 24: Do you have a collection of anything?

one direction memorabilia lol

* 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

either works with me tbh

* 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes.

* 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound I hate: hearing others talk on the phone, sound I love: rubbing clean hands on a clean table

* 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I’m just crazy and none of this is real

* 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes. anything is possible.

* 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my comforter both times lol

* 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

a clean house lol

* 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

uhhhh Louisville

* 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

west coast because i have never been

* 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Harry Styles

* 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to leave the earth better than I found it

* 36: Define Art.

art is everything and nothing that a person wants it to be

* 37: Do you believe in luck?

I do. circumstances create luck.

* 38: What’s the weather like right now?

pretty clear

* 39: What time is it?

10:08pm

* 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and yes! I won’t say what it was but it hit ME.

* 41: What was the last book you read?

I tried reading Girl Wash Your Face but couldn’t get into it.

* 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

* 43: Do you have any nicknames?

yes I do... you can call me queen tho.

* 44: What was the last film you saw?

Legally Blonde

* 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

several ankles sprained severely on each side.

* 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no

* 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes. damien haas.

* 48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bisexual, demisexual, pansexual????

* 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

yes. I was pregnant.

* 50: Do you believe in magic?

no.

* 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yes, unfortunately.

* 52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer

* 53: Do you save money or spend it?

both!

* 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a carwash for my dads truck

* 55: Love or lust?

both

* 56: In a relationship?

somewhat

* 57: How many relationships have you had?

two

* 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

* 59: Where were you yesterday?

home

* 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes, my water bottle

* 61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no, never

* 62: What’s your favourite animal?

polar bear

* 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

my hospitality (including dis mouf)

* 64: Where is your best friend?

idk, at home?

* 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

oooooo bisquett, thebasketcase101, persistence-ofmemories, creativegoof, and zanesgirlfriend

* 66: What is your heritage?

I am part native american and european as far as i know. i want to do a 23andme so I can find out. My skin tans realllllly dark even with tons fo sunscreen on so that makes me think I have more Native American than I thought.

* 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I was definitely watching New Girl

* 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

idk... Jones?

* 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

biiiiitch of course I have.

* 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes. I may suck but I am loyal as hell and I’ll do anything for my friends.

* 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog, fuck that job.

* 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes b) spend it with family and write a book c) fuck yes. i am terrified of death all the time.

* 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust. love is nothing without being able to trust.

* 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

It’s A Great Day to Be Alive by Travis Tritt

* 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

1389.. not in that order.

* 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

honesty and communication.

* 77: How can I win your heart?

buy me food and show me that I can trust you with my heart. I sturggle to trust people. I also NEED to be called pet names.

* 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yes.

* 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Quitting my toxic ass job.

* 80: What size shoes do you wear?

9.5

* 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

She did her best, even when odds were against her.

* 82: What is your favourite word?

I dont have a favorite but my least favorite is “creamy”.

* 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love.

* 84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“ooooo bitch”

* 85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Always You, Louis Tomlinson

* 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

darkkk red and black

* 87: What is your current desktop picture?

bitch I aint been on there in so long, I have no clue.

* 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump

* 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

depends on who is asking, if its my family... asking my sexuality.

* 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Fucking scream and run.

* 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Mind reading.

* 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Seeing my dads face when I walked across the stage at graduation or him telling me how I looked in my junior prom dress.

* 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Watching my dad die.

* 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Harry Styles.

* 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The beach, pronto.

* 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not anymore

* 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

No

* 98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. I loved it.

* 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Love others like you would like to be loved and see where that gets you.

[lasercruz]

@quarterdollar​ fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call?  No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i  have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1     .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?  nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i  just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔  i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg  theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding?  yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery?  dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that  and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile  😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting?  its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty  sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and  okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

[coolguycoconutchutney]

shrub @meethapaan tagged me in this quarantine 10 song 10 question thing and I can’t sleep so I’ll do it bc I can

10 quarantine songs (this is just going to be randomly pulled from my April 2020 playlist (yes I’m aware it’s not April yet I usually start the next months playlist a few days early so I don’t add a new song to a current months playlist and miss out on it I just overestimated how much of March had passed and I accidentally started it on like the 14th but whatever))

1. Manners - Ashnikko

2. sriracha- bbno$

3. The Blinding ft Travis Scott - Jay Electronica

4. White Ferrari - Frank Ocean

5. Franklin the Flirt - Porches

6. Paper Bag - Miss Fiona Apple

7. Kerosene! - Yves Tumor

8. Hit My Phone ft Kehlani - Megan Thee Stallion

9. Let’s Pretend - Del Water Gap

10. Stressed - UPSAHL

Okay question time

Are you staying home from work/school?

Technically I’m between school and work rn so no but I am staying home.

If you’re staying home, who is with you? 

My parents and my thoughts

Who would be your ideal quarantine mate?

My fwiends or at least maybe someone my age it would be nice to have conversation with someone my age and I’m really bad at initiating phone calls so I don’t ever bother calling my friends rn

Are you a homebody?

This is a good question. The first couple months of this year yes because I was trapped in a cycle of not going anywhere so I can work on my senior project and then I don’t do my senior project so I just sat at home not getting anything done. But like ideally, I like being out and about and seeing things I just (im so sorry) hate the mall so much and window shopping but I just want to sit around and hang out w my friends and do stuff like watch bad media and so ouid oeffects and play games and I also really want to go to the club and be a th*t

An event you were looking forward to that got canceled?

Hee hee hoo hoo a good question. Well. Starting my JOB and MOVING OUT for one. Well. I honestly don’t know the state of my job rn. Because I emailed the recruiter last week and when I looked her up on LinkedIn today she doesn’t even work there anymore and no one told me and so I emailed their offer ops directly today and I’m waiting to hear back from them and I haven’t really heard much from them so I’m so excited for them to say oh haha you were never actually hired actually Hee hee hoo hoo. Also idk if I would have been gone by then but the gayng had tickets to 100 gecs. Also tinos birthday. I just miss my friends dog. Also I was going to meet up w this nice man and watch train to busan. He asked me to go on a run w him yesterday and it would have been fun but you know social distancing :/

What movies have you watched recently?

I have like 0 energy to watch any movies. I like movies and like thinking about them and stuff but I just have 0 available emotional energy to watch them. But I think I last watched he’s just not that into you. And I think the jumanji movies on the plane. And I saw this Malalayalam movie in theaters called varane avashyamund, which pleasantly surprised me in terms of how malayalam movies go.

What shows are you watching?

Nothing really, Tiger King and bits and pieces of Family Karma when my mom watches it. I rewatched season 2 of American Vandal last week it’s a shame it got cancelled it was a genuinely good show, shout out Italian king jaboukie for writing on it

What music are you listening to?

God I don’t really listen to a lot of music rn idk why but a lot of Fiona Apple and Ashnikko. Also I put tik tok songs on my running playlist so that.

What are you reading? 

I just finished 1Q84 and Into the Dreamhouse, and I’m looking for something new to start so if anyone has recs hmu pleaseeeee I think I should start Interpretor of Maladies wams recommended to me in December. Someone also recommended Acheron to me.

What are you doing for self-care? 

Uhhh I’ve been drawing a lot, I’m pretty shit ngl but I’m just practicing to you know, not be shit. I’m actually making terrible 1Q84 fan art rn kms. I’ve also been going on my daily state sanctioned runs and doing my home workouts (shout out miss chloe ting) and jumproping. I’ve been talking to my friends when I can remember. I think I’m going to start this udemy class I got on sale a month ago on front end development so my brain doesn’t completely dissolve

Uhhhh I really dont give a shit if you do it or not I did this because I have insomnia but uhh do this if you want

@cherrybutchh @pocketful-of-mumbles (wams i don’t know why I tag you in things i know you don’t do them I get it but why do I tag u) @queer-assthetic @swiing-tree @scramblelikeanegg @cigaretteinthemouth (hi we never talked before but I see ur @ in my notifications and we’re mutuals so hi if you don’t want to do this it’s really fine)

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[irisflowerarts]

A Current Bit Of My Life

Warning; Large Vent down below, you have been warned.  My life is tough right now, there is drama wherever I go, If i go to my mother’s, to if I’m at a friend’s house, to being at my own house, to on here.  at school, I am, what most call, being bullied, however, I will refer to it as being picked on from the others, sometimes I am locked out of classroom’s until the teacher’s notice, sometimes the students try to tell me what to do,  an example, is in Band, well, Music exploration, where we practice the instruments we want to learn how to play, and one day of the week, the teacher checks on how far you go, I play three songs for the teacher as to show how far I have gotten. Also, since I have played piano before, I am further ahead from most students. Here are the following comments I get from the other students I am forced to..condone with.  “Stop playing the same three songs!” “Play a song I like!” “Those songs are stupid!”  First of all, I AM NOT YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!  Second of all, really? if you want to play songs that you like, than please, by all means, practice the piano and play those songs...  I am not your entertainment, and I will not allow this to keep going.. I’ll be talking to the teacher more about this at Lunch today, I am done having distractions, I am tired of all the noises.... If I want to play the songs I wish to play, than I need quiet... I don’t like to be “mean” or be a "Tattletell” but.. they are disrupting my learning, and I wish to be able to play those songs from my childhood.... They were so beautiful...  At home, Things aren’t too bad, fortunatedly, I am relieved about that, I atleast have a place to calm down, listen to the frogs sing at night, stargaze and admire the moon, to the calming moments to begin to draw flowers that grows in my grandmother’s house, where I live..  Unfortunately, My brother who used to live with me doesn’t get the break from the drama like I do... He is under stress and frustration, he had to deal with so much last night, I feel so bad for him.. He needs to be at a home that isn't dramatic, that is calm and peaceful if we all wish for him to have a nice, college experience and life.  My brother, when he went to College for the first time... He was under so much stress, because over at the place he stays at, he used to be ordered to do more chores aside from working on his college life, such as driving our littlest sister to school, because she says she was bullied on the bus.. the truth was, she just didnt like the bus and wanted to get out of it. Regardless, my brother was unable to keep this up, and eventually he had to tell off our mother, with the help of the grandparents that he shouldn’t be forced to do this kind of stuff when he should be focusing on his college work.  Eventually, he had to take a break from college, due to our father’s death, and more drama happening over at our mother’s place.. . He’s planning to go back to college, however, the drama has escalated over there, to the point where I am trying my best, and kindly, to not come over, at least until it lightens up, Please pray from my brother...  Tumblr;  An app that has allowed me to connect to so many people who are dear to me, to allow me to interact with artist’s, laugh with people i can call friends, and love those who love me.  But.... Lately, I do not know what feeling to express,  am I disappointed?... Am I upset?.. Am I mad? stressed? frustrated?  I do not know.  I’ve been feeling bad lately, because of someone who used to be so close to me, now doesn't really want to interact with me, I guess they are really busy, but.. I see them interacting with all the others.  It makes me wonder... did I do something to upset them?  I wish they would tell me if they did, but I feel like, they don’t trust me anymore, the fact that I do not know hurts me even more, because it could be many things...  Please..... So pretty please... tell me if I did something wrong, I can be naive and oblivious to things, because since we aren’t face to face, I am unable to know how you are feeling, unless you tell me..  I beg all of you, to please let me know when I hurt your feelings, otherwise... I’ll never know, and accidentally destroy any other friendships I have left....  I am slowly becoming more alone and alone each and every day, and I get so lonely.. I’m so tired of being picked on at school, being an outcast there, watching my friends play with each other, while I’m left to only talk to at least two people who actually like talking to me.. the two; the teacher, and an acquaintance?  To those who think I’m busy.. I’m actually not..  I”m just scrolling through Tumblr.. wanting so much to talk to someone and laugh once again;  It’s come to the point where I nearly have to make myself laugh and smile...  I guess... Maybe I’m disappointed at how I’m being treated, it’s only when I’m sad that most of you only interact with me, but when I’m happy and all that stuff; it’s like you all disappear.. that’s an insult... a scar deep within me. Only interacting me when I’m sad so you can feel better about yourself???.... That’s more of a wound than just confessing to it...  But how I feel...  I feel like it’s because you all think I’m boring,  I feel like it’s because I “whine” too much,  I feel like it’s because all you want is to see my art, or.. you all are just bots or something,  I feel like it’s because... you dont appreciate how much courage and strength it takes me to come to this site anymore......  I’ve been thinking of leaving.. I truly have, because I feel like i’m underappreciated, people are taking advantage of my kindness, and I’m... I-I’m just done f-feeling like t-that! Everyone has used me all too long! The moment I become useless... they throw me into the trash! Stomping mercilessly onto this flower.....  I feel like that’s how much everyone sees me.. just something they can use to abtain more... “superior” friends, to be more popular through me..  If that’s true.. t-than was everything a lie? was that friendship wrong? Did I give my heart, trust, and my kindness to someone who wouldn't appreciate it?..  .......  who can I trust?.....  Part two coming in reblog 

[hoodthekiwi]

Lie To Me

Description: You and Michael have been broken up for a 2 years but have still remained close friends. And your new job at buzzfeed requires you to work with a lie detector; so you decide why not use it on your ex-boyfriend. What could go wrong?

Word Count: 4,356 Triggers: (((I dont think there’s any)))

“When did you stop loving me?” you asked, not looking him in the eyes and starting to fiddle with your fingers, something Michael recognized, you did this when you wanted to take back something you said because you felt awkward.Michael took a breath, his brain was screaming never, I could never stop loving you. You two were broken up was he allowed to tell you that

“Please? Please please please please” you begged into the phone before a tiredly mumbled, “I don’t know (y/n)..” Your boss, Mr. Reynolds, had given you an opportunity use a lie detector, and you had the perfect idea… Make a video using said lie detector on your rockstar-ex-boyfriend, who oddly enough, you still consider one of your best friends.

“Michael please? It’s for my job and I know you, you so wanna test it to see if you can beat it.” You challenged into the phone, stirring the–now soggy–bowl of cereal that was sitting in front of you.

“C’mon (y/n), why do you want me to do it? What about Calum, I’ll give you Calum.”

“Who am I being given to?” you heard Calum mutter offendedly from the other side of the line and then a large thud as Michael was hit by a pillow.

“Please, Mike? You love making videos with me. I’ll even bring you a pizza and-” “Deal” He cut you off. Well, that was significantly easier than you thought it was going to be. You thought it’d take longer to bribe Michael, the same person who stayed in the car once when you went to the grocery store because:

“It’s raining (y/n)! And the red dye is gonna run down my face. Can I please stay in the car?” He said putting the car in park and pouting

“Mikey, you’re the one who wanted to come and get ice cream at 2 in the morning” you replied back from the passenger side of the car.

“They’re gonna look at me like I'm a psycho though. Please? I’ll give you cuddles and share my ice cream with you when we get home” he said with a smile trying to convince you. “Fine, but only because of the cuddles.” you said before bolting out of the car and into the rain.

“Oh my god, thank you Mikey. Do you want to do it at the office’s set or my apartment?” You asked trying to get the last details before you had to lug the polygraph and it’s operator, Tim, to the wrong location only to have to pack up and relocate again.

“Do you think we could do it here, at the house? The boys and I are recording any chance we get and you could stick around after and we could finally have that lunch we’ve been talking about for a while.” You two had been trying to plan a lunch date–the term date was used loosely–for a while, but somehow something always came up and got in the way so you would have to keep pushing it back.  

“That sounds nice, I haven't seen the boys in a while how’re they doing?” You asked. When you and Michael were together, the other boys were like your brothers, and after you two broke up it didn’t seem right for you to hang out with them after metaphoricallyburning the bridge that brought you to them in the first place.

“They miss you like hell, andCalum here is trying to take the phone so he can talk to you… Apparently he’s having some girl problems and needs your help.” He chucked

“I do not! You have girl problems! Fuck you man, gimmie the phone.” you heard Calum huff as they started fighting.

“Can you just–dude stop! If you spill any of your smoothie on my guitar I swear to god I will not hesitate to throw your bass in the pool. You can talk to (y/n) when she gets here.” Michael threatened before you heard a door slam.

“Okay sorry, I’m safely in my room now. But Cal is probably gonna call you in a little so he can talk out his problems. I think he just misses you.. They all do.” He sighed before hearing you giggle from the other side of the line.

“I’m sure I’ll be a big help. So, when do you wanna do this?” you asked not wanting to press your luck.

“Well, what’re you doing right now?” he said looking at the clock. Currently, Ashton and Luke were having a writing session with the Madden brothers in the recording studio behind the house, so Michael and Calum were free to do anything they’d like. Apparently, that consisted of pissing each other off, playing video games, and seeing who could burp the loudest. (It was Michael obvi, haven’t you seen that celebrity juice episode?)

”Right now? Nothing, I guess.” You had just started talking to Michael again, and now you were going to see him and the boys again. Today.

”Is that okay with you? It’s just I thought you know, the sooner the better.” He replied calmly. There wasn’t a trace of nervousness in his voice, just the smooth ton of your ex-boyfriend.

“That sounds perfect. Are you guys still at the same house?” You asked not sure if they had moved since.

“Yeah but I’ll come pick you up babe, that way we can get food on the way.” Michael said accidentallyslipping in his old pet name for you.

“Oh thank you, I needed time to get everything ready and now I can.” You stuttered, taken aback by his slip.

“Guys?” Michael yelled into the house as soon as you made it through the door. 

“Okay, either they’re going to scare us, they’re all asleep, or they’re gone.” He muttered more to himself than to you.

“I think they’re gone.” You said walking over towards the counter in the kitchen.

“Why would you say that–” he was cut off by you holding up a note with girly handwriting on it–Ashton’s.

Mike, the boys and I went to the market because we have absolutely no food in this house and I’ve decided that we’re not going to starve. Text me if you want anything. -Ash p.s. The couch is wet so don’t sit on it. I mean it’s only water so if you could put a towel on it that’d be great thanks -A

“He really is the mum of the band isn't he...” you mumbled after reading the note aloud and sticking it back on the fridge which was filled with post-its, stupid polaroids of the band, and their daily schedules.

“Our dear mother Ashton always making sure we don't starve. That's honestly why we keep him in the band.” he giggled from the doorway before pushing himself off the wall and towards the living room.

“Oh of course, it’s totally not because he’s kick ass on the drums or anything, it’s his kind mothering nature.” You replied sarcastically.

“Well with the boys not here at least we can get something done right?” he asked just as the doorbell rang.

”That must be Eli and Tim” You said brushing passed him an towards the front door.

“Eli?” Michael whispered to himself, you had told him the polyographer, Tim, was coming but nothing about this Eli kid. Who is he and why didn’t his name come up before. He was nervous now. Was Eli your boss? Your friend? your BOYfriend? No, he couldn't think like that, you and Michael were friends, just friends.

Michael glared at the brown haired boy as you opened the door and greeted him sounding extremely chirpy…too chirpy in his opinion. “Eli! Thank you so much for helping. And thank you for bringing Tim.” He heard you said before pulling the boy–more like kid maybe–into a hug.

“Hey, I’m Eli.” the kid said sticking his arm out for Michael to shake.

”Michael” the red haired boy replied shaking it with clenched teeth trying to keep his cool. You two had broken up a long time ago and it wasn’t like you two couldn't see other people. So why was he so mad?

“Mike” you warned noticing how he was trying to size himself up to make himself look bigger, like he used to do...when you two used to be together. And as he used to, he glanced at you and calmed down.

“Okay.. So this is Eli, he works with me, and this is Tim… Eli’s boyfriend, the guy who’s going to help us with the polygraph.” You said gesturing to the two and looking at Michael with raised eyebrows and a smirk on your face. Oh, okay so maybe he could like this Eli kid, he seemed polite and nice enough. Now anyway.

“How the hell did you convince me to do this?” He said as Tim, pulled the machine you would be using out of its case and placed it on the table in front of you two.

“You so just want to see if you can beat the polygraph. Don’t forget I knew you better than you knew yourself.. Now are you ready?” you asked Michael, before leaning over as your co-worker handed you your pink index cards.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. You’d think that after playing sold out shows I would be totally fine with this.” There was something about you that always made Michael nervous, and now, after not seeing you for as long as he had, his hands were extremely clammy. Smooth Michael.

“Mikey you’re fine.” You said turning to him before motioning for the camera to be turned on.

“Hi guys it’s (y/n)! Today we’re testing a lie detector and I have Michael Clifford, from the band 5 Seconds of Summer, to help me out.” you said gesturing to the red head. “Hello! I’m so excited!” he shouted at the screen before laughing and looking back towards you. “So, I’m going to ask my questions first and then Mikey here will get his turn after. Oh, we also get one pass so if we don’t want to answer a question then we don’t have to. Some background info for those who don’t know: we were actually dating for–how long was it Mikey?” You looked at him, waiting for him to answer but only seeing small smile on his face.

“Oh, what?” He said after a second, snapping out of his day dream, obviously not listening to a word you were saying.

You laughed and rolled your eyes before continuing,

“Anyway, I think it was like 3 or 4 years, so we’ll see how this goes. Also, disclaimer: I had Eli and Tim make these cards for us so we don’t even know what they say.” You laughed looking towards Eli, your co-worker, who was smirking and manning the camera for you.

“Should I be afraid Eli?” Michael chuckled nervously as he got comfortable in the chair across from where you were sitting.

”Well, I certainly wouldn’t want my ex to be reading me these questions” Eli muttered as Michael’s eyes widened and looked towards you. “Well with that, let’s get you hooked up” you clapped your hands and Tim secured all of the cords into their correct places on Michael.

“Let’s start off with baseline questions. Is your name Michael Gordon Clifford?” you asked as he nodded.

“Out loud” you pretended to whisper.

“Yes, my name is Michael Gordon Clifford.” he smirked and looked back at you, seeing the needles only moving slightly.

“Alrighty, now, is your birthday the 20th of November?”

“Yes, it is”

“Hmm, and one more: Did you actually like that cake I made for our second anniversary?”

“Okay in my opinion it wasn’t thatbad.” He laughed as the Tim shook his head and told you that wouldn’t be a credible answer.

“Well, thank you for sparing my feelings.” You said moving onto the first card.

“Are these all yes no questions or does it progressively get more difficult?” He asked looking at you. You just shrugged and turned to Eli.

“No, the first like 7 are straight answer but the other 18 kind of test your truthfulness, if thats a word, so you gotta explain those. We were originally going to give you each 50 questions too but it seemed like it would be too long so we stuck with 25 each.” he smiled and gestured back to the pink cards in your hand.

“Alright Mikey, Question 1: Where did you take me on our first date?” you said before putting the cards down and folding your hands on the table. “I don’t know which one counts as our first date though. The carnival or the park.” he laughed as the needles started going crazy.

“I don’t think the carnival counts! You ran into me in the house of mirrors and stained my shirt with ketchup!” you countered. You could remember that day like it was yesterday.

You were going to the carnival with a few of your friends and for some reason, they all wanted to go in the house of mirrors, and you got lost. It felt like you were wandering in circles for hours, and right as you were about to turn a corner you ran straight into someone’s hotdog. That someone turned out to be Michael and right when he realized what had happened his face turned as red as the ketchup.

“I AM SO SORRY!” He panicked peeling the hotdog off your shirt and stuffing his hand into his coat and pulling out 20 napkins, spilling a few on the ground in the process. “Sorry! I’m so sorry! I got scared.” he said trying to blot your shirt. “It’s fine but did you at least leave some napkins for everybody else?” you joked trying to lighten the mood.

Only then did he actually look you in the eyes and laugh. “I spill ketchup on your shirt and you’re concerned about the oncoming napkin shortage the other customers are going to have?” He shot back. “Well we never know, they could all launch their hotdogs at strangers.” you laughed and smiled at him. He was cute, and he didn’t make you feel embarrassed to have a giant ketchup stain along the front of your shirt.

“I’m Michael.” he said sticking out his hand. “(y/n)” you replied shaking it and smiling. “Oh dear” he groaned like a middle aged woman. “Here, take my hoodie and we can go get you a new shirt. That is if we can ever find our way out of here.” he said pulling it off and handing it to you. “Um, could you like turn around or something?” you said gesturing to your ketchup stained shirt. “Oh yeah sorry.” he said turning around. “You know what just occurred to me?” he said as his back was towards you. “We’re in a house of…mirrors. So like I–there’s not, umm–why don’t I just hold my coat around you and then you can” he said before gesturing to your shirt. “Okay” you agreed quickly trying to get the dirty shirt off of you.

When you two finally got out you saw three boys–and what looked like bodyguards?–sitting on a bench laughing and scarfing down food. “Come” Michael said grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the table. “MIKEY! Finally! You’ve been in there for like 20 minutes!” The curly haired one said finally noticing you two. “HA! 19:38! You owe me 10 bucks, Calum.” The blonde haired one said turning to the dark haired boy who looked like he was only half paying attention to what was happening at the table, too busy trying to balance two of the forks against each other. “Oh shut up you already owe me 20 for making that shot in the game tent.” he said looking up.

“Hey, I’m Calum. That’s Luke, and that’s Ash” he said smiling at you. “(y/n)” you feeling all of their eyes on you. “So Mikey… Do anything you shouldn’t have done in there?” The blonde one, Luke, said suggestively. “Wow mature Luke.. I ran into (y/n) in the maze and my hotdog kind of just..” he mimed spilling it to the boys. “What a you moment” Calum snorted before going back to playing with his forks. 

“Hey! You still make fun of me for the napkin thing.” Michael pouted as you laughed thinking about how it really was a Michael type of moment. “I’m sorry, it was just a very memorable first date” You smiled and giggled before picking the cards up and reading the next one.

“What song reminds you of me?” You questioned shooting Eli a questioning glance and then looking back at Michael.

“Well it used to be A Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold because of your facial expressions while watching the video.” He laughed as you interrupted him.

“THEY ATE EACH OTHER’S HEARTS MICHAEL! But I will admit, I do like the song.” You argued, not enjoying the killing and blood in the first minute and a half of the video.

“ANYWAY, before I was so rudely interrupted–excuse you–the song that reminds me of you now is Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.” He said as Tim gave you a face saying that if that question were to ever be used in a courtroom, well, it wouldn’t be a viable answer.

So far the questions had been relatively easy, nothing too difficult to answer, though he did try to lie through a few.

“Jeeze Eli this question though: ‘did you ever think about marrying me?’” You took a deep breath before you looked up at Michael and laughed.

“Well, yeah. We were together for four and a half years.. Didn’t you?” He furrowed his eyebrows before looking down towards his lap. Michael thought about it a lot actually, and to his dismay, sometimes he still thought about it. What married life would be like, what your wedding would loo like, what your home and your kids would look like. And god, did he want to make that dream a reality more than anything.

“I think a few times. You know on like our anniversaries and stuff, or when I went on tour with you and we walked around towns, I thought what it would be like if we were on our honeymoon or something. I don’t know, it sounds stupid now.” You felt your face heating up as he looked at you. But he reassured you with a, “It’s not, I did too.” and you felt significantly better.

“Alright onto something a little less sad, for your birthday that one year I made you that terrible cake and you said it was good. I knew you were lying but now you can’t so: was the cake shit?” You cocked your head to the side and looked him. You couldn't believe that he actually ate it, it was terrible. You had accidentally put two separate recipes together into one and it was a mess.

“Okay it wasn’t my absolute favoritecake in the world but…” he said scrunching his nose as Tim shook his head.

“I am hurt Mikey” you joked back at him. This was nice, it was nice to talk to him in general, your personality came out more and you had missed your best friend.

“It wasn't a total bust though, you sure made up for it after.” he smirked and gave the camera a wink as you sat there, horrified at what he had said. But to your embarrassment, it was probably one of Michael’s favorite birthday memories, coming a close second to when the boys surprised him by flying you out to see him on his birthday. And if they didn’t see you two for the next few days, no one except for them had to know.

“I cannot believe you said that, you butthead.” you said glaring at him, but laughing anyway.

“Did you love me?” you laughed still thinking about his last answer, reading the card and looking towards Eli and then back towards your red haired ex-boyfriend.

And without even skipping a beat he answered, “Of course I loved you. How could I not, I told you that every day.”

“When did you stop loving me?” you asked, not looking him in the eyes and starting to fiddle with your fingers, something Michael recognized, you did this when you wanted to take back something you said because you felt awkward.

Michael took a breath, his brain was screaming never, I could never stop loving you. You two were broken up was he allowed to tell you that? But out of the corner of his eye he could already see the needles moving crazily along the graph, and he could see Eli’s body stiffen from behind the camera. As he looked up, you wouldn't meet his gaze, your eyes were locked on the card you had just read.

“I didn’t write that card... Did you write that card?” Eli asked as Tim shook his head.

“I-(y/n) you already know the answer to that.” Michael huffed

“But do I? Michael our break up was so messy. I don’t even really know what happened.” You replied shuffling the remaining cards in your hand.

“What do you mean? It was pretty clear to me that you were tired of being with me. I come back from the jewelry store with a ring and you’re just gone. All I have left is a note that says don’t look for me. And when I got back to LA all your stuff was gone.” He was doing anything to keep from breaking down.

“You came from the what?” You replied still stuck on his response as Eli took Tim outside so you two could talk in private.

“You had to have known (y/n). We were together for so long I was so in love with you and I thought you were too. You had to have known that I was gonna propose. I was absolutely and utterly in love with you.” He was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from crying any more, still, a little over a year after it happened, it hurt like hell.

“I-I didn’t know I’m so sorry. You guys were just getting bigger and the fan base was too I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m so sorry Mikey I never meant to hurt you.” You on the other hand had started breaking. What you two didn’t notice was the boys who had come in the door and were quietly standing in the entryway knowing exactly what Michael was talking about and knew that the very ring he was referring to was right in that house haunting him every single day.

“I wanted to more than anything go and find you I just didn’t think you wanted me to be there. I asked the boys to go see you to make sure you were okay. I dialed your phone every day but never hit call because I thought you were done. If there is anything I could do to go back and ask you to marry me I would. I would’ve booked that flight from New York to LA that night to fly home to you. I loved you, I still love you, I’m still absolutely head over heels for you and I promise I’d marry you in an instant.” He said scooting closer to you and lifting your chin to look him in the eyes. You were silent.

“Please say something baby” he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear

“I love you too. I’m sorry I ran I was so wrong to run away from the thing that made me the happiest.” You leaned your forehead against his before grabbing both sides of his face and kissing him with everything you had.

“I meant it when I said I’d marry you in an instant you know” he breathed against your lips.

“I know, I’d say yes in an instant too.” You breathed back before getting tapped on the shoulder.

It was Luke. “Hey sorry for interrupting- we thought you’d be done but we also thought you might want this.” He said handing Michael a small blue box with silver accents.

Michael laughed “Were you three listening the whole time?” He looked towards the boys. Luke standing with his hands behind his back leaning against the wall, Calum biting back a smile, and Ashton, with tears in his eyes but still trying to look put together.

“I’m fine, I promise. I just- I love you two and you know the pollen count is high and whatever you’re crying too” Ashton blurted, sniffling a bit.

“Hey Mike? Just a thought, ask her properly so we can celebrate!” Calum sarcastically says before dragging the boys to the living room, where Michael knows they can still hear you two but there’s a false sense of privacy for you two.

Michael looks back to you, tears in his eyes and the box still in his hands. As he opens the box there’s a simple diamond ring one that you remember seeing in some window over a year and a half ago.

“Now, I know that was messy, and we’ve wasted a year. But baby, I love you more than anything and I want to spend the rest of my life next to you and proving to you that this stupid musician kid from Australia is the one for you. So, with that, will you marry me?” He says as he unhooks himself from the machine and gets down on one knee.

“I love you Michael Clifford, yes of course I will.” Launching yourself into him for a hug and knocking you two onto the ground.

“Oh thank god it’s about time” you hear from the other room as the boys come out.

“Do you two need a room or are we gonna have to leave the house again for a few hours.” Luke says laughing before Michael grabs your hand, puts the ring on and drags you up the stairs towards his room.

“Give is a few hours okay? I just got my girl back and she’s crazy enough to marry me. Were celebrating! I mean you guys can do whatever you want, I don’t care I’m engaged!” He yells as you two make your way down the hallway to...make up for lost time.

Authors Note: It’s been quite a while since I wrote anything and well I’ve had this half finished for over a year so I thought I might as well take some time and see what I can come up with. I hope you like it! (There’s also a Deaf!Michael imagine that I have half written so let me know if anyone wants me to finish it) 

[obsessed-withthe-hales]

Full Count (Part 10 of Curve Ball)

Summary: An accidental collision. Lucky shoes. Baseball lessons. As much as they might try to deny it, fate seemed to be working to bring Derek and Y/N together. But being in each other’s lives could prove to be more complicated than either one of them bargained for.

Author’s Note: So, I’ve had this done for awhile. Then I moved, started work, left for a nine day trip...and realized I forgot to post this! I’m sorry this is unbelievably delayed, I am The Worst. But it is finally here and I’m so very excited to share this with you! Please let me know what you think :)

As always, a HUGE thank you to my co-pilot on this series, @snipsnsnailsnwerewolftales!!! She is so amazing to work with and always such great ideas!!! I can’t even say thanks enough <3

Warnings: Probably language; awkward tension

Tags: @wheresthekillswitch, @urwarriorangel, @palaiasaurus64, @melanie451, @houseofrahl, @life-what-life-i-dont-have-one, @splashofbi, @livinglife-dsa, @miaforeverblue, @imadangerouscause, @noordinarymagic, @viahalsvy, @cryingbecausesebastianstan, @palaiasaurus64, @wheresthekillswitch, @fannytf, @jazzrivera27, @boofy1998, @julieanncupcake, @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme

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Being back was weird.

Getting into the habit of going to classes again, figuring out my new schedule for the semester (plus finding all the new buildings), and trying to start doing homework again…it was weird. My body had been on sleep and relaxation mode for the last few weeks over break, so even getting up in the mornings to get ready was a struggle. But there was a bright side: seeing my friends again.

Stiles and I had texted pretty much every day, even coordinating movie viewing parties from miles away. By the time break was over, I think I had burnt Uncle Chris out on Star Wars so bad that he couldn’t even stand to hear the titles. Seeing Scott again was great, too. And spending time with Lydia, something I had severely slacked on last semester, was amazing. She and I had sat for hours catching up the night we came back, finally retiring to bed once the clock hit an obscene hour.

While all of that had been awesome, there was one thing that kept lingering in the back of my mind: Derek. I had managed to not think about him constantly over the holidays, which was a HUGE accomplishment, but as soon as I started packing my things to head back to school, it was like someone had opened the floodgates. What if I run into him? Literally...again. Or even worse: what if I bump into him, literally...again...and he completely ignores me? What if I see him first, should I wave or smile or call out or just pretend like I don’t see him at all? It was like the irrational part of my brain was in hyperdrive and the off switch was broken.

Irrationality did not make a great start to the new semester.

We were three days in and I was as paranoid as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I tried to make easy conversation with Stiles as we walked together between classes, tried to not scan every room that I walked into for his face, tried not to listen for his voice meshed into the background in the student center or dining halls or walking down the sidewalk. You’re acting like a crazy person, Y/N. He’s not hiding around the corner waiting to jump out at you! If only the rational part of my brain had current control over my mind….

“I was thinking Lord of the Rings this time, what do you think?” Stiles’ voice broke me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, what?”

“Lord of the Rings. Movie weekend. Kicking off the semester,” he said, hands waving about. “Did you get any of that?”

“Uh…I got LOTR and that’s about it,” I admitted. “Sorry Stiles. I’ve had some…stuff…on my mind.” The look in my best friend’s eyes told me he most likely knew to what I was referring, but he decided to not push, something I was really grateful for.

“My room, this weekend. We’ll start off a new semester with a new set of movies! Are you free? I mean, I’m assuming you are so I expect you to be there, I’m just asking out of courtesy.” Giving him a playful elbow in the ribs, I smiled and agreed to attend, much to Stiles’ delight.

“I have a meeting with Professor Yukimura Friday after class, but I’ll come straight over after that.”

“Perfect! Alright, this is my stop,” he sighed as we approached a split in the sidewalk. “I will see you Friday night then. Also,” Stiles paused, moving to stand in front of me. His face got about as serious as his could before he spoke again, this time much softer. “I know the you-know-who stuff sucks, but it’ll get better with time. Okay? You know I’m here for you.” My cheeks heated up just the slightest, but I smiled at the brown-eyed boy in front of me.

“Thanks, Stiles. Really.”

“Anytime.” With that, he clapped his hand- his right hand- on my shoulder and gave a goofy grin. “Plus, I could give him a stern talking to at baseball practice once it starts up again next week. Take my trusty bat and pull him to the side…”

“Slow down there, killer,” I laughed. “No need for all that.”

“Just putting the offer out there,” he replied, beginning to walk backwards. “See you Friday!” And with that, he turned around and was off.

I know, Alli, you really like Stiles. I do, too.

*line break*

“I already have two papers and a chem lab assigned,” Scott groaned, plopping down next to me on the futon in their dorm room. “This is off to a great start.”

“Tell me about it,” I snorted. “I met with Yukimura today and he gave me the rundown of what all he’s teaching this semester and what he’ll need my help with and seriously, I’m not sure how I’m going to handle all that on top of my regular work load.”

“Y/N, you’re practically a genius. And history is your forte. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Stiles said, the compliment making my cheeks warm. “Plus, can’t you like opt out if it becomes too much?”

“Yeah, that’s true. I’d just hate to stick him with everything.” Letting out a sigh, I tried to shake those stress-inducing thoughts from my head. “Anyway, it’ll probably be fine, just like you said. Come on, Stilinski let’s get this movie started!”

“I’m trying, I’m trying,” Stiles grumbled, frantically searching for something. Scott and I exchanged confused looks before he cleared his throat and spoke up.

“Uh Stiles…what the hell are you looking for?”

“Popcorn! We can’t have movie night without popcorn! I swear we had some leftover…” Slamming the drawer he had been digging through closed, Stiles ran a hand down his face in defeat, popping out one hip and propping his free hand on it. Quirking a brow at his distress, I jumped up from the futon and jammed my thumb toward the door.

“I’ll just go grab some from my dorm. I can be there and back in like twenty-ish minutes?”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Stiles muttered, shuffling toward his bed. “It’ll be late by the time you get back and you shouldn’t go alone, especially in the dark-“

“Well, how about you guys come with me and we just move the viewing party to my room?” I offered. “I just have to text Lydia and see if she’s okay with that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, totally.” Pulling out my phone, I shot her a quick message, receiving an almost instant reply of assent. “Alright, grab everything and let’s go!”

“You’re sure Lydia’s okay with this? It’s a long movie,” Scott asked.

“Oh definitely,” I assured him. “She’s secretly a huge LOTR fan. She’ll love it.” I paused and pursed my lips, thinking for a moment. “Don’t tell her I told you that.”

As we shuffled down the hallway of Stiles and Scott’s dorm, arms loaded with extra blankets and pillows, I chuckled at Stiles’ continuous rant of the mysterious popcorn disappearance. Scott and I exchanged knowing looks, silently agreeing that yes, our friend was ridiculous and had likely eaten the rest of the popcorn himself sometime during finals week as it was one of his go-to stress foods, but we didn’t have the heart to suggest that, instead just letting him ponder out loud. I was paying much more attention to Stiles’ words than anything else, not hearing the opening and closing of a room door as we rounded the corner.

Stiles stumbled, causing his blankets to shift in his arms and begin to unfold. Because I am the world’s greatest klutz, my foot- left foot-  found the corner of the blanket that now reached the floor, tugging it out of my best friend’s arms and resulting in my subsequent descent toward the ground. Landing with a thud, but thankfully on top of Scott’s pillow that I had been carrying, my eyes drifted along the dingy carpet to find the toes of sneakers that I recognized all too well.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Scott asked, concern in his voice as he knelt down to help free me from the blanket’s evil clutches. All the words to formulate a coherent response to his kind question had suddenly vacated my brain, however, because I was staring right into the exact pair of green eyes I had been dreading seeing. You have got. To be. Kidding me.

“Derek!” Stiles exclaimed, his face not hiding his surprise and mild panic well at all. “How uh- how was your…your break?” He was trying so very hard to act casual, bless his soul, but the boy could not help but to feed into the awkward tension already suffocating the hallway. Thankfully, Derek’s eyes shifted from mine to Stiles’ as he spoke, giving me the opportunity to scramble to my feet with Scott’s help. I could feel my cheeks burning bright red, just knowing that they could all hear my hammering heart. Act natural, Y/N. So you fell, no big deal! It’s fine. Totally. Fine.

“It was alright,” Derek answered, not offering much more than that. Aaaaand there’s that voice. That damn nice voice. Wait, no stop that! Stiles pursed his lips and nodded. The four of us just stood there in the middle of the hallway, the silence becoming more and more weird as time passed. Oh my god, somebody say something PLEASE! This is like the longest anyone has ever gone without speaking, ever.

“Are you ready for practice to start up next week?” Scott asked, his question breaking the silence and making me sigh internally with relief.

“Yeah, should be good.” Scott’s eyes squinted in curiosity at this second short response, but he didn’t push any further. I forced myself to fix my gaze back on the ground as I felt Derek turn back toward me, desperately not wanting to have to speak to him. Thankfully, Stiles came to the rescue.

“Well!” he announced, readjusting the load in his arms. “We should get moving. Don’t wanna…be out too late.” With that, his hand subtly found my back and nudged me forward, Scott in tow as we hustled out of the dorm. Once out in the crisp night air, I took a deep breath and let the freshness try to stamp out all that awkward tension.

“I know he doesn’t usually say much, but that was weird even for Derek,” Scott noted. Stiles and I agreed before quickly dropping the subject and heading in the direction of my building.

I knew that things were tense and weird between Derek and I after…everything…but something still didn’t feel quite right. Maybe it was just me being too optimistic, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he might have been extra broody and withdrawn for more reasons than just seeing me.

[teashadephoenix]

11 Questions

I got tagged by @pomegranate-belle <3 I'm sorry this took for fucking ever?!!??

I’ll tag @lioness--hart @fox-in-the-library and @whitegodiva if you guys want to do it? And anybody else, obvi <3

1. How long have you been writing?

Actually sitting down to type stories out? Eight years old. I've been making shit up since I could talk. I have it on good authority I am entertaining to listen to.

2. What are the major themes of your current wip(s)? LONG ANSWER

omg I really dont know. I spent several hours over several days banging on this question in my head both in front of the computer and away from it only to come to the horrified realisation that I Don't Know. *gay panic*

I know the things I like to write about. I like to write about free exchange of culture, of mutual respect and fraternity with your fellow humans (which leads to themes of unity, unconditional love not only of people but of the world, and the gray area of what it means to protect those things without giving in to hate, indifference and intolerance. THE GRAY AREA IS WHERE I THRIVE.)

I like to write about intergenerational relationships (which leads to themes of obsolescence, changing of the guard, and how people, in general, not individuals, never really change. Like, there's For a Good Time graffiti on the walls at Pompeii. That is HILARIOUS.)

I write a lot about family, both born and found. (Everybody has a place and everybody is loved.) I write about mental illness and being queer (which all by itself leads to themes of not knowing your place in the world even if you have one. Frequently comes up against the previously mentioned theme)

So yeah. I don't know. My big WIP, the Aalee Rise series, is about a young woman on the cusp of adulthood going out into the world for the first time. It's her idealism vs reality. The other main characters in that cast are all foils re: various facets of societal structure and ideologies. One challenges her idea of government, another her idea of religion. She falls in love, her loyalties to her brother and parents are tested, she makes mistakes, she fights monsters and saves the world. A lot.

tldr; It's my sandbox and I just wanted to build castles in it. I don't really know if the castles will mean anything when I'm done. I hope they do.

3. What do you want people to take away from your story once they’ve read it?

My greatest ambition is that I could ever write a hero as beloved as the heroes I read about growing up, figures that reminds not to give up hope, to get back up when we're down, that the dark times ahead of us will come to pass.

At best, if I've done that, I'll be ecstatic and satisfied.

At worst, as long as you had a good time, if you didn't throw the book across the room in disgust, I'll take it.

4. Would you be excited if people write fanfiction about your wip(s)?

YAAAAS. I would literally never read it because Im terrified of accidentally absorbing someone's ideas and making them my own bc Christ alive that's a legal nightmare, but yes that would make my life.

And you can have my firstborn if you send me fanart.

5. What’s your go-to writing beverage?

Tea. Really strong and sweet. I make a fresh quart each morning and usually go through it by the end of day.

6. Who is your favorite oc? Tell me about them!

OMG ALL OF MY CHILDREN ARE PRECIOUS. (it's Aalee.)

Aalee Dering is the eighteen-year-old protagonist of my Aalee Rise series.  When we meet her in volume one (Worldwalk) she and her twin brother are setting off on their coming-of-age journey around the country. Her people, the Noruahai, have defended humanity for generations from unearthly creatures called asmic, and if she wants to become a licensed Marshal like her famous mother (and wow, she really, really does) she'll have to prove herself on her Worldwalk.

Aalee thinks with her heart first and always. She loves beautiful things, and all things are beautiful to her. She's quick to cry and struggles with anger, as well as distraction; she has trouble keeping focus. Good for getting into trouble. Not so good when it comes to being a responsible adult.

It would probably be easier if she wasn't of two minds on every single decision she has to make. She empathises with everyone, which can be paralysing-- how can she fight someone whose point of view she gets?

7. Do you feel that mistakes are important learning tools in the writing journey?

Mistakes are learning tools of life, darling. In writing they generally aren't the types that will destroy friendships, health, financial status, etc, which means they're generally easier to bounce back from. Unless you commit career suicide in some way...

8. Rank your ocs by their capability in a footchase (either running after or from smth, your choice)

1. Fall from the Aalee Rise series. He's a complicated human. Without getting into the context of the world he's from, he's hard to explain; but the short version is he's half-ghost so he can basically turn himself into the wind.

2. Rosie Frey from Color of the Stars but only when she's a lion. In her human form she's pretty normal.

3. Lynn Blythe (or any of the other vampires) from Echoes of Eden, because they're cheating cheaterfaces who use mystical vampy powers to be stronger and faster than humans

4. Sendmarshal Henley from the Aalee Rise series. Probably the fastest regular human. Imagine the most beautiful, tall, leggy black woman you can, all lean muscle and elegant grace, and now imagine her scooping you up and zipping out of danger with an easy smile on her face... *fans self* I stan.

5. When running headlong into danger to save someone? Aalee Dering. When running away? Frustratingly, satirically slow. She's one of those idiot heroes who stops to make sure everyone got away okay so Fall's always running back to grab her ("MOVE, IDIOT" "But that little old lady--" "FIRE-BREATHING MONSTERS. MOVE.")

9. Does your wip have romance? tell me about it!! if not tell me about a friendship/important relationship in your wip!! MORE LENGTHY BLAH

Relationships are the driving force of my writing. How one loves or is loved by other people, how they relate and engage with others, is how one grows, in real life and in fiction. There are a number of relationships in all my series that I'm fond of for various reasons. (For instance, even though she cannot STAND him, I'm eager af to write Eden and Lynn's relationship in Echoes of Eden because of how complicated it is.)

And as a rule all of my characters are queer or questioning unless otherwise stated, and I ship everybody with basically everybody else, and almost everybody has a love story in their history. (at least, their parents certainly do because I am a gross vile romantic and these fuckers came from somewhere.)

That having been said, for the sake of brevity I'll stick with Aalee Rise and limit myself to the Big Three: Aalee and her brother Elles, Aalee and her best friend Norah, and Aalee and Fall.

FAMILY: Aalee and Elles are twins. Born together and never separated, which stands out in a world where families are broken up by chaotic circumstances and random death on a regular basis. Aalee is easily distracted and has difficulty communicating her thoughts, so she tends to act on impulse; Elles is forever the cool head and the hand grabbing her by the back of the shirt to stop her from walking into danger. And after eighteen years of this... he's tired of it. He loves his sister, but he longs to see the world on his own terms, walk his own path. And Aalee doesn't share that sentiment. Not only doesn't share it, but is blown away when it comes into play. Her partner in crime wants to break away, and she does not take it very well. The first volume (Worldwalk) explores how their relationship suffers, grows, and changes due to this break.

FRIEND: Aalee's best friend of ten years is Norah. They met as little girls in a monster-ravaged town; Norah was entertaining the youngest orphans with a story and Aalee joined in. The pair of them spent a long night keeping civilians from panicking while Marshals battled asmic beyond the walls of the bunker. They exchanged addresses and became penpals over the next few years, since both of their parents travelled and they were rarely in the same place at the same time. That changed suddenly when Norah lost her father. Since then, Norah's family and Aalee's have lived in the same town. Norah is her warm hand in the dark, her shoulder to cry on, the first person she tells any good news. for Norah, Aalee is the only person (at the beginning of the story, anyway) with whom she can be her real whole self. They love each other no matter what.

ROMANCE: And then there's Fall. Aalee meets Fall when she rescues him from being murdered in a back alley-- except, oops, turns out it was a sting operation to catch the killer because he's not actually the helpless filthy vagabond she assumed he was; he's actually a powerful Marshal who was on assignment. Stuck together for various reasons, he becomes a mentor to her on her worldwalk, while she blatantly digs into the mystery of who he is, which turns out to complicate their lives, the lives of their friends and families, randos they happens across, their enemies, and also God's. To say they fall in love with each other is an understatement of cosmic proportions. They choose each other.

10. Do you believe in the advice kill your darlings?

Yeah but I take the advice as intended; which is not, as most assume, kill your fave characters, but to get rid of that which does not work, even if you love it. That pearlescent line of dialogue, or that golden bit of allegory? Doesn't matter how much you love it and how proud of it you are, if it does. not. work. it HAS. TO. GO. (save it in a new file to reread when you feel down and scrap that shit from the main file.)

that said re: killing characters, in my youth I was very much of the George RedRum Martin camp of "KILL THEM ALL" but as Ive gotten older my main focal point has been "What purpose does their death serve?" Death is not the only sacrifice worth writing. So while I am not afraid to kill my characters, I do take the nature of their deaths in the writing very seriously. There has to be a point.

11. Do you prefer plotting or worldbuilding? Why?

WORLDBUILDING MANYEXCLAMATIONPOINTSGOHERE! Plotting is like the maths of writing. It's measurement, it's brickwork, it's demolition when the wall you put up last week is three feet too long and now you have to scrap it and start over. Vital. But not my favorite part.

Worldbuilding is the art. It's the music your OCs hum and the stories that they treasure and the faith that holds them up when the crap you throw at them might tear them down. It's the story behind the jacket they wear and it's the reason they nod to the altar when they enter a place of worship and it's the meaning of their names. It's the magic. How the world works, the little details that make it real to the reader because it's real for your characters, is my favorite part of writing.

[astralgloss]

im a curious meanie so 1-134 muhahaha you get to relive the hell i just went through

etab i haTE U

1: Name

my name is marit lol but please just keep it mar

2: Age

i am 17 but i’ll b 18 in 2 months!!!!

3: 3 Fears

the dark, complete and utter loneliness, and clowns

4: 3 things I love

books, forest fruit tea, the sound of rain

5: 4 turns on

a nice smile that reaches the eyes, a nice smell, having a dog ngl, a soft touch

6: 4 turns off

extreme arrogance, insisting to pay for my meal if i want to pay bc its “what a man should do”, forcing lifestyles on me, not caring about my interests

7: My best friend

she does have tumblr but idk it but hey demi if u ever see this ur the bomb.com

8: Sexual orientation

im bi fam

9: My best first date

my bf and i went to amsterdam to go shopping and he followed me everywhere (even the bookshop even though he hates books) and idk i just love him it was a nice day

10: How tall am I

im 1,65m or 5′4″ but i can and will kick ur ass

11: What do I miss

nothing really??

12: What time was I born

ok so i asked my mom and she said i was born on a tuesday at exactly 12pm but i bet she’s lying

13: Favorite color

yellow!! im basic!!

14: Do I have a crush

well i sure hope so @ boyfriend

15: Favorite quote

to the stars who listen, and the dreams that are answered

16: Favorite place

my bf’s house tbh, specifically his bed

17: Favorite food

pizza, specifically the hot chicken one from ny pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm

nah fam (ofc i do im a little shit)

19: What am I listening to right now

god is a woman by ariana grande

20: First thing I notice in new person

how they look at other people when those people don’t notice it

21: Shoe size

38/39 idk the other size lol sorry 

22: Eye color

its blue but it changes with my mood (oh my god im so sorry im kidding please don’t hate me)

23: Hair color

im a blondie

24: Favorite style of clothing

sth casual but also a bit towards the punkish style, but i also rlly love looking tiny and soft and cute lol

25: Ever done a prank call?

ok so there’s this hotline for kids who have troubles with their parents and families but it was a shit hotline tbh so once i called it up with my friends pretending i was crying and the man on the phone asked me what was wrong so i told him that all my friends had fire type pokemon and i only had grass type pokemon and they kept beating me and i didnt know what to do and then man was so confused it was funny af

27: Meaning behind my URL

idk man i wanted a name that could b easy to remember and i was inspired by ridgeport tbh

28: Favorite movie

the perks of being a wallflower

29: Favorite song

Fav song atm is anything from p!atd's newest album and my fav song of all time is probably train of consequences by megadeth

30: Favorite band

megadeth lol

31: How I feel right now

pretty good but also annoyed bc i have to go to work in half an hour :(

32: Someone I love

my bf

33: My current relationship status

if u guys havent noticed by now im taken

34: My relationship with my parents

p ok

35: Favorite holiday

halloween/christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced and thats it lol

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

i rlly want a few bookish related tattoos, like a tiny raven, a little lightning bolt, and the city of velaris and then i also rlly want a sleeve tbh but imma be a teacher and idk if i can :/ about piercings: i rlly want a helix or tragus and maybe get second holes in my hearlobes

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

ok so ive been on tumblr for about 5 years and initially it was bc i was Depressed™ and then about a year ago i found out about simblr and i was hooked

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

tbh i dont even talk to him anymore i dont rlly care about him in any way

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yes bih

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

hes my bf so yea lol

42: When did I last hold hands?

wednesday

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

about 45 minutes bc im lazy and i keep getting distracted

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

45: Where am I right now?

in bed lol

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

either my bf or my best friend

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

depends on where i am

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

mom

49: Am I excited for anything?

tbh moving out but thats gonna take a few more years

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

*insert bf here*

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

every time im at work lol

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

wednesday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

lol bye

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

nope

55: What is something I disliked about today?

the fact that i have to work a day shift instead of an evening shift

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my internet friends tbh it’d be cool to meet all the people from my bookish discord or from @booptherat​‘s discord

57: What do I think about most?

what book i should read next

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can finish a book in about 4 hours

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

not rlly? i hate the whole asmr thing tho ew

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

61: What was the last lie I told?

i dont remember tbh

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

neither lol

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

look im not saying that believing that we’re the only living species in the entire universe is narcissistic, but it is. also dont fuck with ghosts

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

hell yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?

idk probably cloudy and windy

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury 

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nah not rlly

69: Do I have any nicknames?

i guess mar?

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

when i was 2 i fell from sth and slammed the corner of my eye onto the corner of a table and i couldve been blind but thank god im not

71: Do I spend money or save it?

both 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

yup

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

post it notes

74: Favorite animal?

doggg

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

reading lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

idk man

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

i gotta feeling by the black eyed peas lol

78: How can you win my heart?

give me a samoyed and a 1000 books

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“a boss ass bitch”

80: What is my favorite word?

fuck?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@cubersims​ @imvikai​ @ridgeport​ @cowplant-pizza​ @bloomlet​ @tiptoptab​

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

spend fiddies, pet kitties, hold tiddies

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of lol

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

the power to choose whatever power i want at any moment

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“do you like working here?”

86: What is my current desktop picture?

its an august background from @emmastudies​

87: Had sex?

yes

88: Bought condoms?

no

89: Gotten pregnant?

no

90: Failed a class?

yes

91: Kissed a boy?

yup, i’ve been kissing my bf for about 2,5 years now lol

92: Kissed a girl?

yup, i’m living the bisexual dream lol

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes, im working at a movie theater right now!!

95: Left the house without my wallet?

tbh all the time now that i can pay with my phone

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

yea i used to but that was when i was 12 and i’d like to say that i’ve grown a lot in the past 5 years

97: Had sex in public?

nope

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

nope, even though i live like 20 minutes away from amsterdam lol

100: Did drugs?

nope

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nope

102: Drank alcohol?

yupppp, i love me some raspberry cider

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nope

104: Been overweight?

nope

105: Been underweight?

nope

106: Been to a wedding?

yup

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

lol all the time tbh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yup

109: Been outside my home country?

yup, however never outside of europe tho

110: Gotten my heart broken?

a few times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yess, i saw the dutch female volleyball team once!

112: Broken a bone?

nope

113: Cut myself?

yes

114: Been to prom?

we dont do prom in the netherlands lol

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

nope

117: What concerts have I been to?

k3 (only dutchies and belgians remember this), one direction, megadeth, and ed sheeran

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yupp

119: Learned another language?

i mean im from the netherlands and im fluent in english thanks to myself

120: Wore make up?

yuppp

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

lol yes

123: Dyed my hair?

nope

124: Voted in a presidential election?

not old enough to vote :(

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nope

126: Had a surgery?

nope

127: Met someone famous?

nope

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

nope

129: Peed outside?

a few times lol

130: Been fishing?

nope

131: Helped with charity?

yep

132: Been rejected by a crush?

a few times

133: Broken a mirror?

lol yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

some books, money, cake, more books, makeup

[ahmuteun]

All :)

welp, my computer decided to crap out on me while i was working on this last night so i get to restart it o yay :-)

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

according to my itunes library, four of the songs are songs my friend wrote and the other two are hyorin and kisum’s fruity and john mayer’s new light and i fucking love that song

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

idk someone who can pay off my debt and tuition lmao

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

i’m too lazy to get up im sorry lol

4: What do you think about most?

it depends, currently its probably me ripping off the band aid and what the fall out for that is gonna be like 

also boys are stupid

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“oh right LOL ya i got it hehe”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with, but i never sleep with pants on

7: What’s your strangest talent?

uummmm i can stand on my toes, does that count?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls, yes lol

boys, are fucking dumb 

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

not to my knowledge 

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

idk i dont do it a lot if ever

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

no not really i think

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

when i was a kid i did lmao

13: What’s your religion?

christianity 

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to/ from campus or downtown

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

it depends on the situation and how i look lol

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

idk probably shinee cause theyve been my favorite for a while but im not sure anymore

17: What was the last lie you told?

“my bus was late” lol

18: Do you believe in karma?

to some extent i do 

19: What does your URL mean?

it’s dumb and i need to change it but idk what i would change it to

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

im trying to think of these through jen’s perspective because she’s one of the people who knows me best 

weakness: caring/ doing things for others even if it’s at my own expense. but i have so many weaknesses it’s so hard to just choose one

strength: probably that i care about people lmao it’s a double edged sword

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

idk i dont really have one

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

yeah, regrettably 

23: How do you vent your anger?

by ranting with my mates and possibly getting drunk LOL

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

nah

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

it depends on who i’m talking to but if it’s someone im comfortable with/ i look decent i’ll video chat but i dont really mind either 

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

umm i mean for the most part i guess im okay

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate: metal scraping against metal

love: the sound of my mates’ laughter

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

currently it’s “what if ripping off the band aid goes horribly wrong??” aaaaahhhhhhh fuck

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

nothing for both

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

nothing 

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

the under 21 club we went to during senior week comes to mind

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

i love both but i’ll say east because i’ve been more shaped by the east

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

idk man, gd?? 

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

i dont fuckin know man 

36: Define Art.

idk look it up on google

37: Do you believe in luck?

eeehhhh to some extent i guess so 

38: What’s the weather like right now?

hot, humid, and rainy

39: What time is it?

3:11pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and i’ve only ever been in fender benders so nah

41: What was the last book you read?

the simpsons and their mathematical secrets lol

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

no gross

43: Do you have any nicknames?

way too many lmao

44: What was the last film you saw?

that isnt a tv show? the scooby doo movie lmao 

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

spraining my foot or cracking my head open lol

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

maybe when i was younger

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

BROOKLYN 99 I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bi wooo

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

probably

50: Do you believe in magic?

no

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

uuhhh no not really 

52: What is your astrological sign?

gemini

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i want to save it but ive been spending way too much lately, help

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

ummmm pho i think? wait no it was boba

55: Love or lust?

lust lol 

56: In a relationship?

naahhh

57: How many relationships have you had?

eehhh none

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

work and my apartment lol

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep 

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

yep

62: What’s your favourite animal?

my doggie

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

i dont have one lmao

64: Where is your best friend?

one is back home in maryland and the other is visiting family in california

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

idk i dont have any

66: What is your heritage?

korean

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

trying to fall asleep and failing

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

i dont think he has one

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

everyone has

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

idk i hate myself too much to not say no lmao

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

if my boss doesnt understand that i was saving a dogs life then i dont want to work for them

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i tell the people i love and care about and let everyone else find out by word of mouth 

b) i dunno, spend time with the people i love and care about and give them lots of good memories to remember me by

c) yes but who wouldnt be?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust because i dont believe that you can have love, platonic or not, without trust 

or maybe thats just my trust issues talking idk lmao

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

idk but if im in a shit mood no song can change that 

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

no thanks

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

idk im the worst person to ask 

77: How can I win your heart?

my heart is unattainable because it doesnt exist lol

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

i mean sure i guess?? 

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

probably choosing my uni because i’ve made such amazing friends and met people who have impacted who i am as a person way more than i could ever imagine and im just so happy right now 

80: What size shoes do you wear?

6.5 heels but 7 for everything else

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

idk man 

82: What is your favourite word?

i dont have one 

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

my friend’s tattoos of hearts on her arm, they look so cool and i love them

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“let me live” “i hate you” “mate” idk theres a lot

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

truth is by jay park

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

blue, yellow, and green

87: What is your current desktop picture?

it’s so cute i love it 

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

no one cause im not that mean 

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

who i’ve been with and crap like that 

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

it would probably scare me and i would leave 

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

super speed probably, you could do so much plus i would never be late to anything again AND i would be doing cardio, win win

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

i dont think i would ever want to do that so i’ll pass

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wouldnt because every experience has helped shaped me into who i am today 

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

oh man i would have to think about this cause i dont have a person off the top of my head that comes to mind 

bm from kard maybe?? idfk 

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

korea or japan 

or maybe australia

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not to my knowledge 

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

yep :-) whoops

i mean it was in a trashcan and i was trashed so

98: Ever been on a plane?

yep

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

pls venmo me cause im broke :D

thanks for asking!

[system-architect]

50 Q for Vax... please, I need it

OH BOY vax... i’ve been rping him a lot lately but he still remains a bit of an enigma!! lets see..

Personal

1)      Age? 23! he acts older than his age i think

2)      Gender? like all my other ocs bc i’m very self indulgent, he is a trans guy!

3)      Romantic/Sexual Orientation? vax can think boys are cute, but he’s never been a very romantically active person. he doesn’t lack a capacity for affection, he’s just always... busy with other stuff? it’s not something he thinks about often. if he’s buzzy around someone it’s probably bc he adores their cybernetics/etc work

4)      Height? probably smth like 3′9″

5)      Race? asura (+ cyborg??)

6)      What do they look like? (i.e, hair color, eye color, etc). i’m gonna link The Vax Draw, i’m undecided about whether his hair is naturally full black or if the white stripes are weird pigment loss... PS he has a ton of moles all over, not just on his face :D

7)      Any disabilities? hokay this is a Vax Secret but he has some sort of muscular and/or skeletal disorder i need to research into/get specifics on but the general idea is that he can get very weak and achey and have trouble moving sometimes! he deals with this via another Vax Secret i might talk about sometime

8)      Is there a meaning to their name? in asuran ?? idk i dont think their names have meanings, but irl its a shortened asurafied version of ‘vaccine’ bc i thought it sounded cool

9)      What makes them, them? Odd Question but he’s very shaped by his childhood experiences studying his father’s work and looking up to his dad and he’s very defined by his innate drive to bulldoze towards goals he has and wants to research... he’s a very stubborn and determined person who’s very much an agent For Himself

10)   What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives? he is Growed Up but he really wants to keep chasing revolutions in prosthetics/augments/cybernetics.. he wants to help people in ways they couldn’t otherwise be helped (atypical inquest huh)

Family

11)   Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)? yes one parent, a single dad! ppl who’ve been watchin my hell rp server stuff will know his name is akka and he’s one of the top prosthetics smiths in the industry and was very private about his work but had a very cutting edge philosophy towards artificial parts and lead some really revolutionary work... dr. akka is a very kind and patient man with a good soul who is a tad weary from the world but he loved his son very much! he and vax had a great bond and vax was always eager to learn about his dad’s life work and his dad was always eager to teach him.. akka is an overall pretty amazing man, it’s a shame he joined the inquest for some reason and now we don’t know his current whereabouts......

12)   Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? If not, do they wish they had siblings? he technically has a sibling! maybe more? but he’s never met them... vax is perfectly pleased with being an only child, we’ll have to see how he reacts if he ever meets this one. it’s actually a character y’all are already familiar with.......

13)   Extended family? Do they see them often? nope and nope

14)   Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?) vax essentially lives out of his workshop within the sigma-5 prime division laboratory space which is Not a safe place no....... but he loves it... he technically has an apartment somewhere in soren draa that is as much of a junk pile as his workshop whoops (vax is very much a ‘i know where everything is in this chaos. don’t move it’ person...)

15)   Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class? i semi-answered this above but he has enough funding via the inquest to do his research projects as well as have a place for himself! i wouldn’t call him upper class probably just kinda middle ish, he keeps himself afloat alright

16)   Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great? despite vax’s attachment to akka’s work and vice versa, akka is a very chill guy who never expected vax to live up to it or anything like that.. he just thought it was great vax had the interest in it

17)   Do they have pets? alas, no.... if he did i could see him owning smth more atypical like a ferret and fuck i kinda like that idea now i’ll have to meditate on it

18)   Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family? take one guess

19)   This there anything special about their family? his dad being a renowned prosthetics doctors is pretty special yeah

20)   Do they wish they lived in a different family/household? absolutely not

Friends

21)   Best Friend(s)? alas vax is... very very much a lone wolf! this section is gonna be hard to answer and i’m probably gonna have to cross out some stuff because vax purposefully doesn’t really get close to anyone and he’s exceedingly unperturbed about this.. i meant it when i said he’s very self-driven! he’s not ultra egotistic and he doesn’t hate other people, nor is he unempathetic (i’d say he has a good degree of empathy actually), he’s just kind of... uninterested? he won’t hate you or be nasty to you for no reason, he’s just not interested in befriending/being around you as an aspect of his life

22)   Who was their first friend? probably some of the other progeny tried to befriend him in precollege he he was Smart which is Cool but they quickly learned that vax’s idea of friendship is he will give you a quick synopsis of what he’s currently on and then go silent as he continues to work on it

23)   What is their friend group like? there are a lot of inquest underlings who try to suck up to him because he’s their boss and also a shining star virtuoso with his work................. vax remains oblivious and unpeturbed

24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them? yes. specifically plex. who is his best tech ops drone but plex is a... sort of pushy person wrt trying to Befriend vax and he has a very obvious crush on vax and vax is mostly oblivious to it but sometimes feels weird about plex’s sudden ‘random’ bursts of being super buddy-buddy with him. in plex’s defense a bit, plex doesn’t know how to interact with people either

25)   Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings?

26)   Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one? he’s probably unintentionally driven off people by coming across as super cold... i think he feels bad if he accidentally upsets people with his demeanor but he’s not quite sure what to do about it bc he doesn’t really want to upset people but he also doesn’t want to force himself to be MegaFriendly anyway esp considering his trials with social interaction are kind of a hardwired brain thing (he’s got like... vague assorted ADHD-autistic spectrum traits)

27)   Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

28)   Do they share classes with good friends?

29)   Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on? vax internalizes all his problems and works through them privately khgjdf he’s a weird mixture of stable and mature but sometimes unhealthy

30)   What would this person do without their friends in their lives? [img of vax doing vague shrugging motions here] as aloof as he is he probably at the very least appreciates that other people have interest in his work! so would be a bit sad if he didn’t have that

School

31)   What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come? he has graduated college! he was top of the class his year at dynamics

32)   Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one? i’m sure he’s had a Variety of teachers but most of his teachers probably liked him a good bit since he’s smart and yknow, Asura Be Like That... i’m sure he’s conversely had a few who butted heads with him over his philosophy on cybernetics because he has a much more open ended approach that’s a bit focused on the idea that prosthetics are body parts and people with prosthetics are Whole People not People With Additional Bits Slapped On/In and he’s very ginger with prosthetics/augments he handles and treats them like they’re the same as fleshy body parts and deserve the same delicate care despite being metal, and overall he has more of a focus on the actual people he’s working with i think, and i can see some more hardass/uptight teachers in particular not liking this because it’s kinda unasuran to more traditionalist types to have such a.. humane view on work rather than being enthused solely with your numbers and research results

33)   Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot? vax is very headstrong and if you have useful advice then its useful advice but if you dont then fuck off and let him do his work how he’s determined to do it... he doesn’t goof off but he has no respect for authority if authority gives bad commentary

34)   Are/Where they a good student grade wise? top marks except for in classes where he was abrasive with the teachers who’s work ethics clashed with his but what can you do

35)   Do/Did they need extra help? nope... he probably ended up tutoring a few people actually (which probably was due to a nudge from a teacher and not.. vax’s sole volition of wanting to tutor people)

36)   What is/was their school like?

37)   Do/Did they have bullies in school? i’m sure he Didn’t Get Along With some others bc he’s Weird

38)   Have they ever gotten into a fight at school? yes he’s absolutely metaphorically gone for someone’s throat because they had the audacity to challenge him on something that they were both wrong about and not as passionate about as him

39)   Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school? i’m sure he has but i can’t rlly think of anything (boring answer srry)

40)   How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

Other

41)   Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced? i already kinda answered this but he’s not partic romantically involved... however i think if he found someone he was In Sync With and who understood his mannerisms then he’d be very content with them... i think he would need a stable easygoing relationship based on shared interests and just casually fitting together and supporting each other rather than anything passionately heated or overly focused on traditional displays of affection

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret? he’s a big nerd who collects various prosthetics/augment models and he absolutely doesn’t keep it a secret...................... 75% of the RP i’m in with him rn has been him geeking out over augs. the other 25% was me describing the facility.

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be? i think he’s more overall focused on the idea of a continuous stream of improvement over a few static goals? he’s constantly laying out new traintracks in front of himself to steam ahead on... he’d like to be happy and successful at what he does, ultimately, and really attain super advanced inventions

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one? despite everything i’ve said here about him being a good empathetic guy, he is Inquest........ the inquest funds his research he does at their labs and they pay him for being the sigma-five supervisor

45)   Do they use social media? i can’t see him using social media much tbh... he might be into podcasts and asuran youtube a bit

46)   Have they ever been in the hospital? due to his strength issues and some stuff that happened as a very small child he has been quite a bit yes

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see? this is a weird question in the context of gw2 which has canon ghosts whoops.. im gonna interpret it as ‘are they superstitious’... vax isnt superstitious and i think he’d be very brave facing questionably supernatural forces but in a sort of logical way uh... he would Not be the first to die in a horror movie.... he’s a skeptic of non-scientific magic things with i think some lingering internal paranoia.. he’s a very logical person

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset? broods in private probably....... depending on what he’s heated about he might go sit by himself for awhile or he’s gonna take his anger out while working on a project

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey? i think he tries to be a good person but he’s skeptical of that Status a lot and worries over it a good bit... again, typical inquest!

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc) all of my ocs have parts of me in them to some degree, i think vax carries some things related to my disabilities, interpersonal and moralistic struggles, and the nerdy passion over my special interests