#i have actually been told i have to tell my ADHD doctor that im seeing on the 9th the fact ive got 50+ reddoons hours in the last 5 days

[agaricus-bitorquis]

Seawatt X Evbo Yuri save me... Save me Seawatt X Evbo Yuri...... I feel like for such a big seabo yuri fan I don't talk or draw them nearly enough as I actually think about them. Sighhh always on my mind but I can't actually write anything right now...... curses!!! (Referance underneath)

[auschizm]

this is an offensive symptom to have but its real and i promise it isnt a troll, just hear me out: i haven't had a chance to talk to a doctor about this because of our economic situation, but i have a symptom where the n word plays in my head whenever i see a human or animal with dark pigmentation, not just black people but also dogs at the dog park for example

for context im a 19F afab european-american woman. and i don't know what to do about this because a few weeks ago on my birthday i was just sitting there at a restaurant on a busy day, and i was sitting by the entrance to charge my phone while a lot of mostly black people walked in and out, and i received the n word playing in my head a few hundred times and there was nothing i could do about it. I'm not racist i just have this recurring involuntary duosyllabic thought that i can't control.

this could be related to ocd or it could be some other type of coprolalia thoughts. but i also have thoughts multiple times a day saying "i am going to k*** m*s***", which i know I'm not going to do, it just gets really annoying and recently I interrupt those thoughts by thinking SHUT UP SHUT UP DON'T SAY THAT or something which certainly feels like I'm "going crazy" or something but i don't know what's wrong with me. (both of these have happened since around autumn/winter of 2023.)

i told my mom about this and she knows, we just haven't had a chance to talk to a doctor because we are moving to a different house. I've been diagnosed with autism and ADHD, and i was given a GAD diagnosis in January 2023 with the doctor saying i had some ocdspec traits of obsessive compulsiveness, tics, dissociation, and i forgot what else he mentioned but maybe the fact that i stutter? (i dont know what he meant by tics, back then i just made noises when lost in thought or typing things, and i used to have echolalia when i was 5 or something, this was before the current symptoms) i have no way of knowing right now if this is my Super Mega Autism (autism/adhd/anxiety + ocdspec traits) or if it's an ocdspec disorder if i am developing schizophrenia or schizotypal or something. and I'm not asking for a diagnosis or anything i just want to know what your thoughts are on the symptom situation because it's weird and i don't want to publicly post about it.

(and another thing, sometimes when I'm alone i stim by saying "vinegar vinegar vinegar" or Something Else if you know what i mean, and it might be controversial to have coprolalia-related stims, but my head/face feels warm and electric and i say it to calm down and feel normal again which is not something i feel comfortable telling a doctor about. I have a stutter affecting my speech, but i don't completely "involuntarily speak" offensive things, i just involuntarily think KMS and the N word on a consistent basis without variation in the symptoms besides them getting worse, and sometimes get a strong urge to say "vinegar" or just the last 2 syllables of vinegar, which sounds terrible but i think it's similar to coprolalia and i only do it when alone where nobody can hear me.) again this might sound fake or like a troll ask but i promise it isn't. what are your thoughts on this? again im not asking for a diagnosis i just need somewhere to anonymously talk about this.

1) Obsessive compulsive thinking is not fully within your control and does not reflect your actual desires or character. The best way to manage it is actually to stop moralizing it and to focus your attention on what actually leaves your head. 2) Of course no mental disorder excuses acting in racist and otherwise bigoted ways, but things happening exclusively inside your head can't hurt anyone but yourself

[egailegailegail]

ive started helping my little sisters with their homework recently and i have to say its been pretty healing for me to finally see what people meant when they told me i was actually “smart enough to get it, you just need to try harder” because i never understood that until now. whenever they said it, it started to feel like an insult because i was trying so hard to try and i felt like no one thought that mattered, that me trying wasnt enough. and it felt like adult after adult would give up on me because of that

today i had to drag my sister out of bed, chase her from room to room until she finally sat down, defeated and irritable at the table. but as we kept going and i kept reassuring her that it was ok, and we just needed to do one small thing after another. as we kept going she just lit up again. shes right before algebra i think, so she starts asking all these questions like “whats the e in pemdas?” and i tell her its for exponents, but she keeps asking questions, clearly interested and desperate to learn more. “what do exponents do? why do we need them? what are they used for?”. it was like she was completely different from how she was an hour ago, actively running away from these questions and problems.

she would make accurate leaps in logic before she even understood what she was actually doing? there was a problem where she had to divide 14 in half and after sitting there staring at it for a couple of moments, she was like “oh its like 14 - 7″ like the act of dividing didnt even cross her mind. she just knew.

shes crazy intelligent and its all just a matter of getting her to overcome how overwhelmed she feels and take small steps at a time. she could probably be a doctor or engineer if she hones in the ability to motivate herself on her own.

theres no doubt in my mind shes adhd like i am now that i have my diagnosis and know the criteria. i really hope she gets that diagnosis sooner rather than later like i did, because having words for these struggles can make them so much easier to explain and handle. and i want her teachers, the ones she had now and in the future, to understand her needs and how to handle her. she doesnt need the years of beating herself up that i had.

im really thrilled i get to be there for her the way i needed someone else when i was younger. im so happy she gets to have someone by her side who knows what its like to feel adhd paralysis first hand and help navigate her out of it. im so so so excited to see what the future holds for her.

[ichthysgospel]

re ur tags fucking hell that sucks im so sorry. i shouldn't have assumed that was snarky, the notes on this post have been full of people being like WELL I SAW A DOCTOR ONE TIME AND IT DIDNT HELP! GOTCHA! so i kinda jumped to conclusions which was shitty & im sorry. i wish i had good advice for finding good doctors i literally just kept going to different ones until someone listened and giving the finger to the ones that didnt. to be fair when i got my ptsd dx i hadnt slept in a week (to avoid nightmares) and was tripping absolute balls (because apparently lack of sleep = hallucinations) so it was sort of. painfully in-your-face obvious what was going on. the doctor i was seeing before that told me i should just try to be more positive. and then refused to refill my meds unless i scheduled a pap smear. the guy before that was willing to prescribe meds but he didnt bother to look at my history and ordered meds that were straight up contraindicated for me. my most recent psychiatrist refused to prescribe anything for adhd because he thought i was ??? following a trend or something??? idk i have a good team now but it took like a decade and a lot of assholes along the way. i guess im saying hang in there/keep fighting to find a good one? and also sorry for being an ass.

aw this is actually so sweet thank you :( I'm not mad at you at all I genuine just kinda. forgot (?) doctors actually have a job besides taking your money and telling you to wait it out. I think I'm finally starting to get lucky with the doctors I have now I really appreciate the encouragement :)

[wildflowersnweed]

Cardiologist found bad stuff with my heart…

It slows down almost to a complete stop and then it speeds back up (causing the heart pounding sensations) which made the Cardiologist make an emergency call to my MD and my MD called me herself, which she does not do.

My MD is taking away my Clonodine. It’s been part of my meds since 2019 due to 7 different anxiety disorders. I take it 4x daily to make sure my anxiety stays at a 5 and not 10. Im not really sure how this is supposed to all work.

The PSYCH is already making me

withdrawal from Seroquel COLD TURKEY because my PSYCH seems to believe that Seroquel is causing involuntary muscle jerking, but that’s the movement I *HAVE* to make for me to ESCAPE the pain within my upper back/neck/shoulders/shoulder blades. She noticed the movement and said “You have to take *insert another drug that has a “strong sedative effect” here* this because you don’t want to be at someone else’s house and be jerking around. That would be embarrassing for you.”

Um, it would? I see people with Autism that have TICS all the time. Does that mean that this Psych dr is telling them that they’re also doing something that will cause embarrassment? Cuz I can guarantee the only one who should be embarrassed here is the Psych doctor for even saying something like that! I hope and pray she hasn’t told someone with Autism that their hand flapping or other TICS are “embarrassing”. What a GREAT nurse practitioner (who majored in Psych)!!!

I can understand why my MD wants me off of Clonodine, from a medical standpoint.

It lowers your blood pressure. That’s what it does. It’s designed to do that. It’s prescribed off-label for autism, adhd, & anxiety disorders. And I’ll let you know right now: IT WORKS!

My PSYCH also wants me completely off of Ativan when I’m only prescribed 1mg daily. Haha that doesn’t help even in the slightest. You know what dose does? 2mg twice daily. That’s what will work. But will she help me? No. She will not. She’ll keep me on Ativan, but not at a therapeutic level that’s going to actually do something.

But with that being said, we don’t know where to go from here.

Can I go somewhere else? No I can’t. I already tried to and when the 1st Psych doctor told me NO she doesn’t prescribe ANY benzodiazepine due to the “addiction”. Ya know, cause SUICIDE isn’t nearly as bad as someone being addicted.

So no I can’t go anywhere else. And you know why?

Because absolutely NO PSYCH DOCTOR ANYWHERE wants to help their patients by prescribing benzo’s because if the patient becomes addicted, & they have more patients with addiction to benzo’s, THEY WILL LOSE THEIR JOB JUST LIKE MY FIRST PSYCHIATRIST DID!

So from here on out please don’t ask how I am.

You already know.

[thatadhdfeel]

so I've been thinking that maybe I miiiight have adhd but while I do check out lots of boxes, I actually have a great memory for the day to day tasks and no more issues with time perception than your average person. is this enough to rule out adhd? does anyone here relates to this? another thing is that they say the symptoms must have been present during your childhood, however I don't remember much from my childhood years... how should I approach that when I eventually go see a doctor?

tbh, i cant tell you, one because i know very little about you two because it would be wrong for me to make a guess since im not a doctor. im sure there's people who'd relate, and i'd love to hear some additions if any followers have them. i think when you see the doctor, just tell them everything you told me! honesty is always best. i hope you figure things out soon <3333

also if it helps you get some clarity - this is the adhd dsm criteria

[just-vibingfr]

Ok ok I want 23 13, and i forgot the number but it said like I’m sorry I’m such a burden so yea with jj maybank im a sucker for angst

Same! Like mood 25/8 is angst, angst, angst!

WARNINGS: Mentions of rape, suicide, self harm, close friends and family thinking you are a liar, ANGST ANGST ANGST, cursing, reader will be using They/Them pronouns.

A/N: I went really angst in this one, this will be all angst with no fluff, at all, like none. Please do not read if anything mentioned will trigger you. This is going to be one of the last OBX fics for a few weeks, I’m going to finish the other four requests I have then I will be writing some Harry Potter Marauders Era stuff! Thank you all for being so patient! I love you guys ❤️ 💕 Bold will be flashbacks!

ABDUCTED

Prompts- 13:God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you. 23:I was kidnapped, I was r@ped! 49: I-I-I’m sorry I’m such a burden

JJ POV:

Thirteen weeks. Thirteen fucking weeks. That’s how long it’s been since they went missing. God, all I can think about is our last conversation.

“I slept with her okay?! I cheated on you and I don’t regret it. At all. You have been nothing but a pain in my ass trying to fix me. Setting me in a path to what, redemption?! Well guess what it’s never gonna fucking happen because I’m a no good, dirty, pogue! My whole family has been doomed to live here, always poor, always a bunch of dead beat losers! I cant be fixed, this is my destiny, so go fuck yourself and you pathetic hopes and dreams and morals! Because none of us liked you anyways, we were only using you to help us grieve after we lost John B. He’s back now, so we don’t fucking need you okay?! I don’t need you! I never have and I never will!”, I ranted. I’m angry at my dad, angry at myself for cheating, angry at Rafe for getting away with everything, angry at Ward for being a bastard, angry at Y/N for making me fall in love with them. I am just so angry. I didn’t mean to take it out on them, but they were there. They’ve always been there even when I treated them like shit. That’s the problem, they were there. I don’t know what to do, I’m so used to pointless hook ups, empty relationships, and abusive behavior, that when someone puts me in a freaking pedestal like I’m actually worth something I flip. I have been looking down for the past five minutes. All I know is their muffled sobs, how their eyes are probably red rimmed and bloodshot, how they’re probably pulling on their wrists like they do when they’re stressed. If I look up I might just crack. “God I wish that you had thought this the before I went and fell in love with you!”, they screamed, letting out all of their emotions. “You said I was different, you said you saw a future together! You told me you fucking loves me! You fucking piece of shit! I hope you get everything you want in the sickest sense! I hope you remember me and feel nothing but pain and guilt! I’m done with you Maybank!”,Those words cut deeper than any blade or bullet could. Being told those venomous words by the person I love most in the world hurts, but I deserve it. I hurt them more than anything, I broke them.

But, now I see truth in their words. Every time I think of them all I can feel is pain, guilt, and remorse. It was all my fault.

Y/N POV

I stumbled through woods. Safety. That’s all I can think. Safety. Safety. I kept stumbling around going anywhere, anywhere as long as it’s away from fucking Jules. That’s what they would call my kidnapper and rapist, Jules. He earned that name because he would take a piece of jewelry off of every virgin he raped. Pathetic. My lower half ached, my mind fuzzy, my wrists scarred. Thirteen weeks, that’s how long I’ve been missing. Thirteen weeks or rape and abuse. Twelve weeks of self harm. I started slitting vanes on my ankles, and the back of my knees, to feel something. Something other than the pain he caused. Self inflicted pain was a way out, a way to still have freedom and independence. Sick and twisted, I know, but it was my way of rebellion. I started to break down crying in the middle of, woods?! It these woods are familiar and I can hear the sound of the ocean. Outer Banks… Outer Banks! Thank God! I’m home. I’m safer, I’m back. I kept stumbling around, my tears making it harder to see. Up ahead I saw what looked like porch lights. “Help! Help!”, I yelled out, although the dryness of my throat mad it extremely difficult.I sped up, basically running to reach a sense of haven. Once I arrived at the house I realized where I was. The Chateau. Anywhere but here. But I needed help, and I was lucky I even found my way here. I knocked on the door, actually I pounded on the door. I was desperate. I heard shuffling and then the door opened revealing a very disheveled Pope, Kiara, Sarah, John B, and JJ.

“Y/N?! How-What-! Just- just come in!” Pope said frantically .

“What happened?!”, Kiara and Sarah said in unison. The boys nodding their heads in agreement to the question.

“I-erm- I was kidnapped, I was raped. I was held in a where house with the other girls. This bitch named Jules was the one in charge. He would take turn with the girls. It was terrifying. I thought he was going to kill me once he saw me helping one of the girls with her miscarriage. I had already had three or four myself and a few of the girls actually gave birth in that where house. The youngest to have a baby was eleven. Eleven fucking years old. I just ran out of the door one day, I got shot. It’s been a few days, maybe five or six? All I know is that I had to burn the wound to stop the bleeding. And I feel really sick right now. I think I’m going to vomit.”, I said before passing out.

I woke up in a hospital bed. The lights burning my eyes. The sheets clean. Someone had bathed me and changed my clothes. I felt clean, it felt good. Everyone scrambled to get up at my sudden consciousness. Looking at me with that pity in their eyes. That pitiful look that made me regret telling them. I didn’t want their fucking pity, I just wanted them to know I have new boundaries, and as my friends they deserved to know. The doctor came rushing in, asking me to explain what happened. I explained everything, the trauma bringing ugly sobs. I didn’t care. I had just been through hell and back, I was allowed to shed some god damn tears.

I was discharged later that day when they had diagnosed me with PTSD, anxiety, ADHD, and self harm. Yay. Weeks went by with my friends checking up on me, never leaving my side: I loved them all for it, but I could see the look of boredom in their eyes, the look that said as soon as I was good enough to be on my own they would leave me to my own devices. It hurt, everything did. I didn’t deserve to put them through this, watching me fall apart. I didn’t deserve this. I needed to end the pain. I had to. And I needed to do it now. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, went to the nearest flat surface and began writing.

“ I’m sorry I’m such a burden. But thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for supporting me. I didn’t really get to know you before John B and Sarah, I see that I really missed out on some good people. Kie, you have been nothing but amazing to me. I can’t thank you enough. Pope, you are like a workers mix of older brother, younger brother, and dad. It always amazes me how you can be protective as fuck, need protecting, and are always prepared with that mind of yours. JJ, I’m sorry. Sorry that we ended things on such terrible terms. You deserve the world and I couldn’t give that to you, I truly apologize for holding you back. But you did break me that night, I was going to end it then, but I was abducted. Ironic how I’m ending it now. I love you all and wish you the best! “

Love, Y/N ❤️

I folded the letter and set it on the island with the pen. Then I crawled into the tub, slit my wrists, and let the darkness take over, sweet, safe, darkness.

@hannahnikohl

[queerautism]

ok so for disability ask - I've known for a while that I have disabilities such as DID and CPTSD that is disabiling for me, as well as adhd (which i have had funding ready for and paperwork assigned to me to get diagnosed with for a year, and still haven't finished... god, paperwork.......) and autism but I don't count autism as being disabling for me.

but I think I'm also physically disabled and i'm starting to be more honest with myself about it and recognizing? so as far as physical conditions:

dizziness/lightheadedness when standing up after sitting/lying. it's been happening since I was a very young kid. i'm pretty sure its POTS but the one time i tried to tell a doctor when i was a teen she just told me to drink more water. it didn't fix it.

hypermobility in joints, toes and fingers locking in the wrong direction, this has happened for several years, as far back as middle school tbh. also my nose is really squishy and squishes more than cartilage should. i think this is Ehlers Danlos, ive done some reading on it but not enough, i wish i could get in touch with a specialist who actually knows about it.

pain. my back always hurts. like its at about a 2 usually. if i dont focus on it its not all encompassing but i do feel it, especially if im thinking about it. that's just like, regular pain though. i also get hip pain and sometimes my limbs hurt so bad down to the bone and radiating that I wish I could amputate them. its fucking BAD and theres nothing i can do about it, it just lasts for a while, is terrible, takes all my focus, restricts my movement (usually its down through my whole leg and makes it hard to walk), and then it goes away and doesn't happen again for like a month. its varied in intensity through my life but its been around a very long time

also asthma???? i cant really run or anything, i have to have an inhaler or i cant manage it

also i get very dizzy and uncomfortable when i have to stand for long periods (30 minutes, an hour) it becomes all i can think about is how hard it is to keep standing. i try to squat or sit on the floor when i can. i've been wanting to buy a walking stick/cane, i really need one honestly. so long walks or long times standing is really hard on me. its actually wild to me that people can just like stand??? for a while???? like maybe its uncomfy but like its not a big deal???? i have to go lay down for a WHILE after standing that much it sucks

anyway im pretty sure i am physically disabled but im still questioning i guess. and i really need to see a doctor for looking into pots/ehlers danlos but i have no clue how to, or how to get someone good, or anything really. and i want a cane so bad :(( i always lean on the carts when shopping as a mobility aid, i never want to use the little basket because i wont have somewhere to lean. and honestly i think that I am going to use a wheelchair in the future. like part time or full time but i am gonna need a wheelchair eventually. i don't think im gonna get like, less frail. but its super hard for me to convince myself that its ok for me to get a wheelchair, but when the time comes im gonna have to do whats right for me without stigmatizing it. nobody loses anything from my use of a wheelchair. just gonna feel structural ableism in city and building design really acutely.

You are physically disabled like for real buddy but also?? Please try out a rollator if you can. Highly highly recommend if you're doing stuff like leaning on shopping carts and find standing difficult, they are absolutely amazing. I can just sit whenever!

[matches-is-meow]

🐰 || hiya! i saw that you were doing bnha matchups and i wanted to jump at that opportunity so bad! and dw at all if its your first time doing them, i'm sure they'll turn out great! /gen :]

🌸 || im unlabeled but im attracted to pretty much whoever. but for this matchup i think i'd like a guy lolz! preferably from 1-A and no one out of high school becuz i see the pro heroes as more parental figures ( °`u´° )👍

🐰 || my myers briggs personality is right on the cusp of enfp and infp which is a little funky but i prefer infp i think! my enneagram is 2w3 too. im also a hufflepuff and my zodiac is leo!

🌸 || my personality is usually very happy, i'm a huge optimist and just kind of "puppy-like" so i've been told! i can be pretty funny and enjoy making my friends laugh! i'm a bit quiet at first, but if i think you're cool then i can open up very quickly. i've been called ditzy so many times its almost annoying. i'm probably always the last person to fall asleep at a sleepover because of how hyperactive i get at night! im called weird often because i get so hyperfixated on certain things and i know a shit ton of odd (or grisly) facts. i like a lot of weird media and figure out a way to tell people about them constantly. wanna hear about that truman show documentary i watched?? how about my herobrine experiences back in 4th and 5th grade?? maybe even a few facts about lemon sharks? i will be very excited if anyone listens to me ramble about random shit i saw on the internet. people are always like "why do you know this shit" and i shrug and pretend i didn't stay up all night studying the youtube algorithm just because i felt like it at the time.

🐰 || my looks differ from my personality quite a bit actually. i have a medium body type that's not really too chubby or too skinny, just in the middle? its doesn't bother me a whole lot but it used to. i'm short. like extremely short. around 4'9 - 4'10 because i havent grown since 6th grade haha. ive been to many doctors trying to see what my deal is LMAO. but back on my appearance, i have a wolfcut thats kinda messy and more of a shag at the moment because it hasnt been cut in a while, my bangs are dyed pink and blue and theyre kinda choppy across my forehead. my hair is shoulder length atm. i have peachy-pale skin because i can't tan and i have light but noticeable freckles on the bridge of my nose and a prominent freckle on my bottom left eyelid :D! i have gray blue eyes and a septum piercing. i dont like to wear a bunch of makeup because of the way it feels (i wish i didn't have sensory issues) so i stick with some eyeliner and mascara :]

🌸 || i mostly wear ripped mom jeans and lavender converse, along with whatever horror movie shirt i found in my closet. pretty much my entire wardrobe is based upon horror movies because thats all my shirts are! there's a few junji ito shirts that ive had for a while but i love them so much. hopefully guttergarbs won't sell out of the black christmas tshirts before i can snag a few 😫

🐰 || i love minecraft so much and its currently one of my biggest hyperfixations!!! ARGS are up there too, along with youtube and creepypasta! i have (not yet diagnosed) autism that i'm trying to get a diagnosis for and adhd so its kind of hard living a normal life? or what is normal by standard. i have moments where i go nonverbal and sometimes i can only focus on what new youtube videos are out today. i have a very hard time staying focused and my friends often have to tell me to do so. i have a favorite youtuber that gives me a lot of comfort and i watch his videos to ground me. my immediate response to bad stuff is youtube. its kind of childish, but it's just me.

🌸 || anyways, tysm for having these open and giving me the chance to send one in!!! i really just infodumped there lol sorry if i got carried away i was very excited! hope you're having a wonderful day/night and take good care of yourself!!!

- bo! 🐰🐰

Shawty. Honey. Sweetheart. Sugar. Flour. Milk, eggs, 2 teaspoons of salt- Thank you so much for this ask!!! You are the first person to throw themselves out into the shark infested water and I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart! I honestly expected no body to respond... so this was an awesome surprise. Hope you enjoy your matchup!! YOUR MATCHUP IS...

Denki Kaminari!!!!! *Insert cheering noises*

Kaminari was kinda just playin when he started flirting with you and stuff, BUT MAN. Catching feels???? Not expected in the slightest.

At first it had been more of a challenge thing for him; flirt with the cute quiet chick, but after talking with you for a while you opened up and he realized how many interesting things you had to say.

Y'all became texting at 1 am friends pretty soon, with him sharing memes and you sharing YouTube recs (he thinks you have really good taste) And bonding over what an awesome director Stanley Kubrick is but what an awful dude he is irl, and that creepypasta you read last night that you JUST HAVE TO SHARE BC DENKI WE ARE KEEPING THE NEXT STEPHEN KINGS IN THIS FANDOM I SWEAR-

When y'all start dating, he is just, so understanding of any times you go nonverbal or when you just aren't feeling up to life at the moment. He gets it. He will ask at the beginning of the relationship so he will know what to do if you're nonverbal at the moment and will follow your request through to a tee.

Sorry. So sorry, bc Kaminari has 14 different short jokes saved at any given moment, for any given situation. Totally gives head pats. oh yes get ready to be patted and to be the elbow rest.

HORRID HABIT of kissing your freckle. He thinks its adorable. (Thinks you're adorable-)

Thinks your cool!!! Soooooo cool. How much information can you fit in your brain????? THAT MUCH???????? OH MY GOD THAT IS SO COOL TELL ME ABOUT THE HISTORY OF TETRIS AGAIN

Not to be spicy.... but like... he honestly thinks your piercing and dyed hair is so sexy. Like. And he is not afraid to tell you too.

"..." "Denki?" "You look hot." "Uh... Thanks? Why'd you say that?" "Cause you look hot duh"

"Thank you????? love you???"

just showers you in love. And if you get harrassed or get called annoying, may god/jesus/allah/oprah/beyonce have mercy on their souls because Kaminari can and will vibe check them out of this plane of existence.

ughhh yall are so in love, get away from me people with happy relatonships eww

Thanks again for this, it was a whole lot of fun!!! Hope you like pikachu over here, thought you guys would mesh really well. :D

[apollodrome]

1- the logical thinking indicates that the most probably option is usually the correct option, for example, if a man has lung cancer the most likely option is that is lung cancer is related to his tabaquism, the same aplly on this case, if a person with morbid obesity has some kind of circulation problem then the most likely option is that is related to the weight of that person, now about your question, if you wanna know how morbid obesity relates to health problems then my answer is

2 - read a goddanm biology book (or just google it), the answer is right there, you dont need to ask a random person on the internet about that, and guess what, you cannot put links into asks so im unable to give you the link to any kind of article explaining that, if you wanna know the corelation then just search morbid obesity on wikipedia.

---

This ask is about this post where a woman's health issues are blamed by doctors on her weight, so she loses the weight, and when doctors see that her health issues have not gotten better, but have gotten worse, they order tests that they should have ordered months ago.

I think you misunderstand the point of the post. Let's take the obesity out of this. A woman goes to the doctor for severe cramps, sleepiness during the day, memory and balance problems. Doctors refuse to treat her. That's all there is to this issue - a woman has gone to a medical professional with a set of symptoms, and the medical professional did not test her for the conditions that have the above symptoms.

You give me an example in your ask of smokers having an increased risk of lung cancer, so let's apply this analogy here. A smoker goes to the doctor and says, "doctor, I have difficulty breathing, a painful cough that doesn't go away for months, I lost 50 pounds in less than a month, pain in my hands, fingers and chest." These are very common symptoms of lung cancer. So, what you're advocating for, is that the doctor should refuse to order any tests for the patient, tell them to stop smoking, and send them on their way. We know that some health risks are associated with obesity, in the same way that lung cancer is associated with smoking, so should we not be testing those people for those diseases more often?

People whose father has died of heart disease are at more risk of heart disease, so we test those people for heart disease when they mention they have symptoms. People whose family has ADHD are more at risk of having ADHD, so we test those people for ADHD when they mention they have symptoms. Why is obesity any different? If a disease has already developed, losing weight will do nothing except for decrease that initial risk, but it's past that already if they HAVE THE DISEASE. They have to be treated for the disease. Thin people can get heart attacks, and non smokers can get lung cancer or develop asthma, so why do those people go to the doctor with those symptoms and get tested, and obese people don't?

In some of your replies on that post, you have used this Wikipedia page as your source. On the same page, it says,

"While a majority of obese individuals at any given time are attempting to lose weight and often successful, research shows that maintaining that weight loss over the long term proves to be rare." (Wikipedia includes a reference for this, I've linked it here).

I am using the same research you are using to argue my point. If an obese individual walks into a doctor's office with symptoms of a heart condition, and is told to lose weight, they are basically sentenced to death. As we can see above, long term weight loss may lead to more health risks, and is actually very rare in most people (less than 1 in 100 obese people manage to lose the weight and stay at the new weight), and so if a doctor tells an obese person not to come back until she has lost all of the weight, she may actually die before she comes back to the doctor.

Obesity is an issue, and does increase the risks of some conditions. However, according to the same Wikipedia article you and I have both been using,

"obesity has individual, socioeconomic, and environmental causes, including diet, physical activity, automation, urbanization, genetic susceptibility, medications, mental disorders, economic policies, endocrine disorders, and exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals."

I don't want to assume you're enough of a heartless monster to say "obese people brought this on themselves and therefore deserve to suffer and die due to medical malpractice" as a response to my above point, but JUST IN CASE YOU WERE, that's a whole lot of people you're condemning. You're condemning children who grow up in poverty and whose parents can only afford McDonald's (cheaper than vegetables in the USA), you're condemning my uncle, who had a deadly thyroid issue that wasn't treated in time (he grew up in Soviet Russia) and messed up his metabolism so bad he currently exercises for 3 hours a day but is still extremely overweight. You're condemning people with pcos, people with hyperthyroidism, people with eating disorders and depression. All of those people, in your opinion, do not deserve medical treatment.

With what we now know, let's summarise.

Fact 1: people who are obese have a higher risk of developing certain disorders, in the same way that someone with a family history of heart problems may develop heart problems, however, no disease is directly CAUSED by obesity and obesity alone. If that were the case, thin people wouldn't get those diseases at all, but I know many thin people with narcolepsy, cancers, and heart issues.

Fact 2: obesity can be caused by many factors, not just eating a lot of junk food. I've already mentioned hyperthyroidism, eating disorders, pcos, and poverty as some of those factors, but there are more. A lot of those factors are not the fault of the obese individual. We also know that once someone is already obese, keeping off weight that they lose is extremely difficult and takes a long time.

Fact 3: when a smoker goes to the doctor with symptoms of lung cancer, they are told to stop smoking, but they are also SCREENED FOR LUNG CANCER and TREATED IF THERE IS LUNG CANCER PRESENT.

Fact 4: according to the woman in the original post, she went to the doctor with symptoms of narcolepsy and other issues, was told to lose weight, BUT WAS NOT TESTED FOR THE DISEASES SHE IS AT RISK FOR, OR TREATED.

Do you see my point now? Yes, obesity is linked to diseases, but that should mean that people who are obese are screened and treated MORE OFTEN, not less or god forbid not treated at all. Preventing obesity by exercising and eating well is something we should definitely do ON A GLOBAL SCALE (better mental health help for people with depression/eating disorders, cheaper vegetables for people in poverty, more education, less fast food places), to decrease our risk of the diseases that obesity is associated with increasing the risk for (type two diabetes, sleep apnea, narcolepsy, certain cancers), but if someone is already obese, weight loss is no longer a cure, and actual treatment needs to be administered. Weight loss was never a cure, it is a PREVENTATIVE MEASURE, and not even a good one according to the evidence I've provided above. Healthy eating and exercise are good preventative measures, but they do not always contribute to weight loss. So why do doctors prescribe weight loss in the form of pills and calorie restriction, rather than eating HEALTHY and exercising? ALSO, if weight loss was a cure, non-obese cancer patients, non-obese people with narcolepsy, and non-obese people with eating disorders would also be told to lose weight rather than given treatment. So why is weight loss the ONLY treatment doctors give obese people? Obesity is much more complicated than a person just eating a lot of junk and getting fat, that's not how it works.

You know how we "eliminate the most probable option"? WE TEST THE PATIENT FOR IT, AND IF THE TEST COMES BACK NEGATIVE WE ELIMINATE THE OPTION. Why was the woman in the post not tested, and why do you advocate for this? Why do you think a group of people deserves medical attention less than others?

Here's another analogy. Wearing a mask and staying six feet away from others is a PREVENTATIVE MEASURE for covid. When a person already has covid, they are not told to wear a mask and stay six feet away from others. They are put in a hospital and treated. What you are advocating for is akin to sending a person with covid symptoms away with a mask, and not treating them at all.

To summarise: correlation is not causation, all people deserve medical help (people who are turned away from doctors a LOT are women, people of colour, and fat people. Medical discrimination needs to be eradicated in all of those cases) and you are in no position to decide who deserves to be treated and who doesn't.

I'm not overweight myself. I just care about people receiving the medical treatment they need and deserve, regardless of what they look like or what other conditions they already may have. I recommend really looking at yourself and examining the biases you have against fat folks, and figuring out how to become better as a person. You seem to enjoy giving unsolicited medical advice, so here's some from me: stop being a dick.

[thechangeling]

Why am i like this why am i like this why am i *screams*

Story time because this happened at morning and im still internally screaming. My spanish teacher asked me to walk with her for a second cause she wanted to ask me smth, so i went with her kinda freaked out cause, well its me i go worst case scenario always. So, what she wanted to talk about, is that shes noticed i dont usually stare people in the eye when im talking. She said shed notice that for a while but that the last few days (since ive been talking to her more cause of a thing were working on) she just noticed and was curious why i did that. And if i was just zoning out. Then she started mentioning how i didnt look at her in class yada yada you get it.

I dont like looking people in the eye, but i didnt really notice how much i didnt do it till now. But i didnt feel like explaining that because "yeah looking people in the eye can be hard"

So i just

Lied

DONT ASK WHY MY BRAIN DECIDED TO TELL HER I WAS HAVING SIGHT ISSUES AND THATS WHY I AVOIDED LOOKING UP AT HER IN CLASS CAUSE I COULDNT SEE THE BOARD

But now i lied my ass off and told her id get an oftalmologist appointement in a few weeks because i was panicking 😭

One i neither have the time or money to attend

I mean, my sight *has* been off and i did want to get that checked BUT NOW I SOMEHOW MADE UP AN APOINTEMENT NEXT WEEK??

Kill me murder me assasinate me

Just in case im mentioning this cause i think its funny how i caught myself into ths situation

Zia..... omg 😂

Ok first of all don't beat yourself up. I understand why you wouldn't want to tell her that you might have ADHD and you have every right not to share that with people. Also impulse control is a symptom, one that gets me into trouble a lot too.

I don't know if you want moral support it solutions or both. Tbh idk. If you really don't have the time and money to see an eye doctor you could just tell her that if she asks again? Because if you tell her you went to the appointment and it turns out you don't need glasses then if it turns out later on you do then that might be hard to explain? And if you tell her that you do need glasses and it turns out that you don't then you're pretty much gonna have the same problem.

I don't know. Maybe you should talk to your parents about getting an appointment with an eye doctor if you feel comfortable doing so and then see what they say and go from there. Like I understand not wanting to say anything about ADHD but maybe if you have been wanting to get your eyes checked you could tell them that?

Also, in terms of getting distracted in class I find that sometimes giving my hands something to do helps, like doddling or playing with a pen. Also they say coffee can act like natural ADHD meds and instead of waking an adhd person's mind up like it does for most people, it actually helps it focus. Idk if this is true for me personally, I just like the taste and I know my head hurts if I don't have my coffee.

Sorry I don't know if you wanted advice or not but that's just where my brain goes lol. I'm sorry that you're in this situation. It sucks. It sucks even more that this world is so ableist we have to invent cover stories to explain away our neurodivergint behavior. It's not fair.

But I'm here if you wanna talk ❤

[nepenthendline]

Mental Health Headcannons - Tsukishima, Kageyama, Ushijima, Tendou & Bokuto

All these are from my knowledge and based off of each character’s actions haikyuu, this is all my opinion so feel free to discuss other thoughts! I’m happy to talk about each more in depth if anyone would like it :) this is just me projecting my own problems on fictional characters

You can also message me if you wanna talk about these too!!

This is going to be long

TW: Mental health, learning difficulties, eating disorders, self-harm

Tsukishima - Depression, Anxiety & OCD

Tbh someone else (I’ve been trying to find their username to tag them but I can’t find it, they’re called something like theguessmonta but idk) has amazing posts about Tsukishima and his mental health which I totally agree with all of it so some of this is going to be pretty similar

I think his mental health problems started when he was quite young, around the time when the Akiteru drama happened so he’s been dealing with these for a while

Having depression can often make a person seem very disinterested/sarcastic/negative as a way of pushing back emotions and self-protection which explains a lot of the way Tsukishima acts towards some people (I have a whole post on how he isn’t just some asshole)

His anxiety stems from a place of terrible self-esteem and self-image, it’s clear to see he has a bad sense of self-worth when he talks about how people are obviously a lot better than him, he’s just there to ‘stop trouble happening’

Tsukki suffers from panic attacks quite regularly (especially when he was a bit younger) but he tends to shut himself off then they happen, he doesn’t want anyone else to see him like that

His anxiety and overthinking is often why he keeps his headphones on him at all times, listening to music helps drown out the sounds around him and those in his head

His OCD got worse over time - first it was things like turning the light switch on and off repeatedly until it felt right, or tapping on his desk before he went to bed, but as his anxiety and self-esteem got worse it developed into him needing himself to be perfect

This included only eating a certain amount of calories a day (no where near the amount he should be eating) or getting a very specific grade on an exam, where even one number over or under set him into a panic

Things got to their worst for Tsukki around the age of 13 - this is where he was much too underweight and self-harming on his hips (so no one else could see)

Probably also thought about suicide a couple times around this point

He has tried a couple different types of anti-depressants in the past, however none have seemed to help

He likes a lot of time alone - he gets too overwhelmed dealing with other people

The only person besides his family and Yamaguchi that knows about his OCD is Kageyama - they both noticed each others odd, repetitive habits until Kageyama asked him about it one day, while they don’t get along too well, they feel some comfort in each other understanding their actions

Kageyama - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

wow what a smooth segue 

this boy is like a walking definition of ASD - coming from a person with ASD

Kageyama was diagnosed with Type 1/High-functioning Autism when he was very young (probably around 3-5 years old)

He struggles with social interaction, knowing what to say to people and most importantly, how to say it, e.g. when he smiles people often think he looks angry

Kageyama has never had many, if any, friends before Karasuno, as he has often struggled with conversation and speaking in an inappropriate tone that may make some people uncomfortable or even scared

He isn’t very good when it comes to remembering academic studies but if it relates to his fixations (volleyball) he is extremely intelligent - this is seen clearly when Daichi shows their team hand gestures and Kageyama says he remembered them in a day

Kageyama uses masking a lot - it’s a technique people with ASD tend to do which involves copying other peoples actions in order to understand social situations, he does this many times in the anime/manga such as his awkward BBQ song dance, or high-fives

He visited a social worker once a week while he was little until he started middle school, resulting in his behaviours getting worse

Towards the end of his first year at Karasuno he went back to therapies regularly and has anger-management training in order to help him express himself in a manageable way - he probably won’t admit it but it helps a lot (key note is that having anger-management training often does not have anything to do with anger, simply just managing emotions in general but it often a great type of therapy for those with ASD although he is a bit of an angry boi sometimes)

ASD comes with repetitive, almost OCD-like tendencies - two examples include filing his nails every single day and having a very specific routine before going to bed that consists of drinking milk, putting on pjs, laying in bed and throwing + catching a ball, brushing his teeth and going to bed on his left side - if he doesn’t do these things at the right times/in the right order, he gets extremely anxious and agitated

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Ushijima - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

autism buds with kageyama

I kid thats probably a bad idea

Ushijima was also diagnosed with Type 1/High-Functioning Autism when he was 5

Unfortunately due to the stigma around Autism, his family (besides his father) were not very accepting of this and he was put into therapy at a young age

While this was actually helpful for him, his family insisted his therapies should ‘cure’ him and were dismissive of the many times a doctor told them that ASD is not a curable disorder

Outside of therapy he does not receive much support from his family, except his father who got him a pair of noise-cancelling headphones he used to wear until he 8 whenever they went out together - he was only allowed to wear them if it was just him and his father, the rest of his family thought it made it too obvious there was ‘something wrong with the child’

Extending on this, Ushijima was very sensitive to sensory input as a child, and while he still is, it has become easier to manager as he has gotten older

His ASD is most prevalent in his lack of understand ways of communication, such as sarcasm or jokes, and tends to take things very literally 

@simp4satori and I came to the conclusion that if you were to call him daddy during sex, or ask him to ‘punish you’ the poor boy would have NO CLUE - would probably call your dad and tell him you needed to speak to him, or say you can’t watch anime for a week lol 

He is extremely direct when he talks, to the point where it comes across rude or hurtful but he doesn’t realise this until someone mentions it

Tendou probably helps him rephrase things from time-to-time in order for him to get his point across

He gets very anxious when faced with things he doesn’t know about or understand (this is mentioned by Tendou in the manga), this can include people, going to new places or trying new foods

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Tendou - Depression and Anxiety (also a highly sensitive person - that’s not a mental health disorder or illness but it does affect him)

Tendou’s mental health suffered from a young age due to bullying in school

This caused a lot of low self-esteem and low mood, and he was later on diagnosed with depression and anxiety

Only his family, Ushijima and his coach know about this, and even then, only his family know any details

No one would really expect Tendou to deal with such mental health issues as he always keeps a bubbly, happy persona around others - he doesn’t want people to think he is weak or cowardly

It is also hard for others to see and he is someone with high-highs and low-lows, so when he is happy or excited his emotions are quite extreme

Tendou’s anxiety relates a lot to his image, mainly his appearance and the way he acts, but he is also a general over thinker

He doesn’t have panic attacks as often as Tsukishima does, however they do happen occasionally when things just get too much

He often thinks that people are staring at him, or talking about him whenever he goes out, and he tends to hid this by seeming overly cocky or sardonic

When his depression hits, he tends to just feel sad or hopeless instead of numb, which tends to trigger his anxiety too

Tendou used to self-harm often around his hips/thighs however he hasn’t done so since the end of his first year of high-school 

Probably makes a lot of dark ‘jokes’, especially around suicide and people semi are like ‘...dude...you ok?’ and he’s just like ‘hahaha yeah im fine what’

He doesn’t like alone time too much as he tends to get trapped in his own thoughts

As expected of the guess monster, he is extremely good at reading and understanding people, which is how he finds it easier to help and communicate with Ushijima

Bokuto - ADHD

A lot of people at Fukurodani think Bokuto is just stupid, however he actually has ADHD

He was diagnosed a lot later than the rest at 12 years old

Bokuto tends to struggle with his studies as his attention-span is very low and can get distracted easily - either by things in the classroom or his own thoughts

He’s very forgetful, often forgetting his lunch at home or forgetting to do/bring in his homework, and this goes into volleyball too where he forgets how to do certain moves

Taking exams are the worst for Bokuto, he hates having to be still and quiet for such a long time and is very sensitive to little sounds or movements that distract his attention - you’ll often find his bouncing his leg or fiddling with his pen

He tends to butt into conversations or interrupt people when they are talking, he just gets a bit too enthusiastic to share his thoughts

He has extreme mood-swings too which we see often in the anime, especially when he is stressed or someone mentions his behaviours

Is very reckless - Akaashi has probably had to stop him from leaning too far out the window and almost falling to look something

The whole Fukurodani volleyball team are aware of his ADHD and do their best to help him and make him feel comfortable or accepted

They are the only people allowed to call him stupid - they will fight anyone else

I think there are more characters with mental health illnesses or disorders, such and Yamaguchi, Yachi, Kenma and Asahi having anxiety so I might write more at some point!

[the1312daysofchristmas]

Hi… I wanted to ask this on anon so I didn’t ask on your personal, idk if this is too personal or anything to ask but

Do you have a problem with people saying they have a mental disorder if they don’t have a diagnosis? Like for me so… I have been diagnosed with anxiety but I am like 99% sure I have bipolar disorder. And like I know you can’t diagnose me so I’m not going to go into depth with my symptoms but ever since I was like, 11, I used to get very depressed to the point where I contemplated ending it but then i would snap out of it and I think for me my manic phase are hypomanic bc ive never experienced like the full range of those symptoms but my depressive phases get very rough esp if I have external stressors but it will go through what I assume to be these phases like sometimes within the day esp if I have a stressor.

I am in nursing school and I work at a psych hospital so like this isn’t coming out of nowhere, I am very familiar with all mental disorders and it was actually during my psych nursing class and learning about bipolar disorder that I was like… hm… why does this feel like a mirror right now. I am aware I should get to a therapist and get an actual diagnosis (if I had money I would lol) but like idk. Idk if it’s worth going to my doctor at my physical and being like “hey I think I have this” I am lucky enough now that I am in a good place and can manage my symptoms but I am terrified I will go through a stressor again and lose it so idk. I mean I feel like I already know the answer but I wanted to ask anyway to see your take :/

Anyway idk as a future medical professional I think self diagnosis got a bad rep and it’s like idk I think for mental disorders esp you can tell if you have anxiety and it’s a persistent problem. You can tell if you have depression. I know bipolar disorder is harder to diagnose but idk I think since I’m in the field it’s easier? Idk I felt like a sense of relief with learning about it and finding similarities and being like “well maybe that’s why I’m like that”. But idk now I’m feeling uneasy bc I don’t have a diagnosis and I don’t want to be like, stepping over people who were diagnosed. Thank you in advance if you read all this and yeah I’m sorry I know it’s a lot and this is controversial

ok this is a long post so im putting it under a cut but tldr, no i dont have a problem with it. it doesnt matter if you actually have an illness, it matters if you find a solution to your problem. if treating yourself like you have a certain condition makes it easier to go through life, then keep doing what works for you, you are doing nothing wrong. this all goes for physical and mental illnesses.

im a firm proponent of self diagnosis. i wouldnt be here if i didnt have the confidence to research mental illnesses and advocate for myself. as someone who is extremely familiar with the medical profession on account of being the daughter of a doctor and a nurse and spending my childhood running around a hospital, im extremely privileged to even have the knowledge and ability to do so, and i try to bear in mind the understandable hesitancy of people without this advantage. i know that you are well within your right to refuse medication that makes you sick, i know that you can complain about a doctor that isnt listening to you, i know that you are allowed and encouraged to be adamant about things you are told dont matter, and in addition to that, i have a VERY well known doctor and a nurse in my corner, and i am STILL treated as though i do not understand my own experiences enough to have any authority more often than i am not.

the reason self diagnosis gets a bad rep imo is because people have constructed this boogeyman of the worst case scenario, people collecting mental illnesses they dont have for attention as opposed to what it is, people doing research into their experiences and making theories on what they have so they can manage it. youll often see the take of "i dont hate self dxd i just hate people who do it for attention" and i think thats very irresponsible considering a symptom of many mental illnesses is thinking youre faking it and doing it for attention, nevermind the fact that attention seeking behaviour is literally a symptom of many mental illnesses people often dont want to empathize with. gatekeeping whos illness is real just keeps people who need help out. i could go into an anarchist screed about democratizing health, but basically, as someone whos life has been saved by my insistence on self diagnosis, and whos life has been made significantly easier by treating myself as though i have the conditions that i theorize i have, self diagnosis saves lives, and i, as an advocate for disabled people of all kinds on my island, will never put any conditionals on self diagnosis. it doesnt matter if you find the right name for your problem, it matters if you find a solution that works. i have yet to meet any of these fabled people who never try to receive a professional opinion, only people who literally cant.

as for feeling guilty, ill repeat how i opened this answer: it does not matter what exactly your problem is, it matters that you find a solution that works. in medicine generally, there will be a wide spectrum of problems with overlapping treatments, things which are similar but distinct, things which look identical but are completely different and at different levels of concern. it doesnt really matter which grab bag of bullshit your brain is reaching from, it matters that you know how to deal with what it throws at you, whatever that may be. dont worry about getting it right, worry about getting it working. okay?

for advice on how to deal with doctors, its helpful to pose it as a hypothetical as opposed to an absolute. when i bring up things im dealing with that i have a theory about i say "i think i have x" or "i think i might have x" or "i have a lot of symptoms of x". doctors are often egotistical and are easily challenged so it helps to pose it at a problem they can solve as opposed to one youve solved for them otherwise they get spooked. in my experience posing it this way leads them to actually interrogate this line of symptoms, and theyll ask you why you think that, and you can bring up symptoms that led you to that conclusion, and ones that give you trouble especially. for example, ive said "i think i may have autism or adhd? or both" to several doctors, and they either agree with me (i believe its been put in my file as a possibility now although i cant get an official test done due to financial and resource restrictions) or they ask why i think so, and i detail what i believe is due to my autism. its small, but this reframing helps a lot.

i think this covers all you said but my head is empty as hell.

[witchy-lili]

Sander Sides Coffeeshop AU! Part 3 (or whatever-)

Do you guys believe me if I tell you this hell of an au actually has a storyline- no ? neither do I. Sorry for the short chapter, my adhd is acting up really bad and I cAN’T FOCUS-  --------------------------------- 6:30am. Finally. He was back home. The night was indeed, very long. The bar got very busy with Roman’s performance, so busy that he even missed Janus’s constant chatter. He was annoying and malicious, but Logan could not ignore the fact that he was, indeed, really cultivated. Often quoting philosophers, with interesting subjects to discuss and surprisingly knew a lot about the different types of tea and botanics in general, along with an absolute metric ton for chemistry, which kinda intrigued the barista, being a science and biology major. The melon hat man, unfortunately called it a night after only a couple hours into their discussion after giving a quick glance at his phone and claiming that he “had to be home or the kids would be worried”. By that time, Roman had already left to get some beauty sleep, as he always said. 

Logan let himself fall on the bed after putting his glasses on the table, slowly closing his eyes to finally join the dream world… ….If his alarm didn’t decide otherwise.

A tired groan left his throat as he tried to ignore the noise, until a wet scratchy thing rubbed against his nose. Apparently Plato didn’t like his breakfast being delayed, and the little kisses were just a nice way of saying “feed me human or your soul will never see the light of day”.

-Okay okay you fluffy son of bitch…

He always got a bit more crude when he was tired, being the type to avoid cursing, just to appear sympathetic. After a few stretches, Logan stood up to fill up the cat’s bowl before changing into his “morning clothes”, throwing the others in the washing machine. He tried to wake himself up a bit more by washing his pale face in cold water. A few checks here in there to make sure everything was alright, and he was on his way for a brand new day in his dear cafe.

Two cups of coffee. Two freaking cups of coffee and he still felt incredibly tired. The place was not really busy right now, fortunately enough but the extremely feline yawn he let out still managed to steal a small chuckle from the client he was serving, noticing that he was on the verge of overflowing the tea cup. A few drops fell on the wooden table and were quickly wiped out by the barista. -Well well Auriga, looks like someone here didn’t get a full night of sleep.

Doctor Emile Picani was the name of this regular client. He was the very soft type, always complimenting everyone, generously tipping Logan and just overall being the beloved and friendly psychologist.  

-Is it that obvious Doctor.. -I already told you ! E-m-i-l-e ! You’ve been serving me the same freaking order for four years ! I think that’s enough for a first name basis.

-Says the one who just called me “Auriga”.

-What can i do “bro” ? I find your name pretty. All that aside, you should really get some rest Logan, you’re giving me more casper than human vibes. And that’s a really big oof.

-Is this your cartoon lingo or are you trying to sound young and modern ?

-A bit of both ! How am i doing ?

-Horrible. This took a chuckle out of the two before Logan returned behind the bar after serving a few more clients to drink start on his third cup of coffee. The moment he brought the mug to his lips, the cafe’s bell chimed, revealing a soaked man from the rain, a bit shivering under his leather jacket that he couldn’t just close -what can you do ? Fashion is just more important than comfort-. He took off his wet sunglasses to dry them off before putting them back and walked to the counter without even caring about wiping his soaked, muddy boots on the carpet planned for that, which earned him a few dirty looks from the dear Mr.Auriga. Before even being able to greet him, the newcomer slammed a plastic reusable tall cup in front of him before saying in a tired, cranky voice.

-Can you fill this venti cup with espresso ?

-..I-I, I beg your pardon. -A venti cup. With espresso. Can you do that hun ?

That was twenty ounces of strong coffee. Logan suddenly got a concerned and kinda alarmed look on his face and shook his head. -I don’t really, quite know how to count that-

-Sis’...just fill the cup, I don't care about the price. Count it as three regular ones or charge me the supplement in shots.

-...Yikes. Who hurt you ? -Life.

This made him let a quiet giggle out before taking the cup and making his drink and silently pitying his heart rate. Upon closer inspection, the “venti cup” was from Starbucks. He could even see a name written on it with a thick glittery acrylic sharpie. “Remy”. Once the blood pressure heightener completed, the man in sunglasses took a large sip from the straw, exhaling loudly.

-You are, literally my life savior right now sweetie, you can’t even imagine.

-Rough night ?

-Yeah, i can say that. Plus my boss is a total bitch, like he really needs a chill pill.

Accompanying those words, Remy’s phone chimed and Logan could clearly see him rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses upon seeing the contact on the screen.

-Speaking of the devil. Yeah Remy there ?...Well i'm taking my morning coffee y’know i can’t get going without it….Duh ! i KNOW the Star’s is closed, i'm in a random cosy coffee shop….Honeeeey, pretty sure you see that rain, i ain’t going back. Move your bubble butt and come pick me up...Where am I ? Uuuh, bitch legit i don’t know, like, y’know my sense of direction is effed up...it’s a bit outside the city aaaand, hem, there’s a lot of blue, and the barista’s cute...Ah and yeah it’s called “Blue’s”, just saw it, like, right now...yeah, want me to grab ya something ?...aw don’t be cranky ya sound like an old man...sorry not sorry babe im just sayin’ the truth ! Anyway byeeee.

The “barista” raised a curious eyebrow before brushing it off as Remy hung up, sighing loudly.

-Jesus, this man doesn't know when to take a breather !

-Heard that.

-You’re not much of a talker are ya ? What’s your name cutie ? “The barista” sounds kinda lame.

-It’s on my badge.

-Ah yeah, Logan, sounds so basic but im in !  

What a singular strange character. The whiplash he got from just having a ten seconds conversation with him was stronger than any coffee. He wondered what kind of mentally functioning human would accept the insolence and the nature of that individual. The boss was maybe really patient or Remy was just so good at his job they couldn't give him up. His questions were answered when a tall, well dressed man with a melon hat walked in, a few minutes later, for the most remarkable trait, a giant red scar on the right side of his face. Was that a burn ? It couldn’t be anything else. He knew this man.

-Well. Hello again Logan.

-Janny ? You know him ?

-Less than i’d like to. But yes.

Looks like the snake was back. ------------------------------------ Eyyyy Picani and my fave bitch are there

[maundering-marauder]

Ok friends. So I’ve been lurking and posting about adhd for... a bit. More in recent months. Probably about a year ago I read a post of someone describing how adhd affects girls/women and I thought... huh, that sounds like me. And then moved right along not thinking about it again.

Because my life Is pretty together. At least it is if viewed from the outside. I have a good job, friends, and generally have my life together. But it’s a facade. I’m constantly struggling to stay on task at work. It’s like pulling teeth to sit down and focus on a big project (because we don’t really do deadline at my new job) and split the project into smaller bits and actually do it. Instead I’ll get hyper focused on TikTok or tumblr and just slack off the day. This has become exarcebated with the pandemic and working from home. I think my work life seemed out together and kinda was because I had to actively put on a front for others. But at home... I can just lay in my bed all day and do nothing. Even my personal life, it took my two years to change my registration for my car. I should have done it three months after moving but I just couldn’t t focus on doing it. It felt like a huge task and I didn’t have the energy. But, I just thought I was lazy. I was, playfully, the butt of my family’s jokes. Because I have this high-powered job, but would constantly forget important dates and buy cards to send out but never do them. I just thought I was lazy.

So, I never really thought more on adhd, because I figured I was just a lazy person and was unmotivated. And then, my youngest sister started looking into adhd for herself. She read more about it and called me one day to talk about saying, hey I think I have it, I think mom has it, and I think you have it.

I thought cool... but didn’t do much of it. Again, my work eventually got done but I was constantly behind, procrastinating, and then hating myself for it. Like that wasn’t adhd. Regardless what I read online and my sister was telling me. I grew up with people who had adhd and was told it was people who struggled in school, who couldn’t sit still, who wouldn’t stop talking. People who couldn’t do any work unless medicated. I was just lazy.

And as I started thinking on what my sister said about adhd I started really beginning to document any symptoms that I thought I was showcasing.

I forget words when talking, lose my train of thought, or just mime out what I mean because my brain can’t possibly put what I want to say into words.

I realized that driving... I need to have the music up loud and singing to it or I can’t focus on driving. I focus on the flowers on the side of the road, how beautiful the sunset is, the plane taking off. Like driving is exhausting because it’s a constant stream of: driving, driving, oooh plane, flowers, wow the sky is beautiful, ah focus on driving, watch the car in front of you, huh what does that bumper sticker say, let’s get closer, ah driving, focus on distance while driving.

I began to realize it wasn’t just work. And it wasn’t just me being lazy. There was a connecting thread that was showcasing difficulty in concentrating, starting tasks, finishing tasks, and hyper focusing.

The kicker was when I mentioned it offhand to a friend that I thought my mom had adhd because of A, B, and C. My friend literally laughed and said I do all those things. Which I realized but never realized. And being so sure when talking about someone else... and then it being pointed out that I do the same things. That was the AHA moment for me. That was about two/three weeks ago.

To sum this long post up. I got over my fear of discussing this with my doctor (I had internalized feeling like a failure if I thought I had adhd <— now we don’t have time to unpack all that in this post but woof) and talked to her last week. Let me say, I love this doctor. She’s my family practitioner and gyno which is just amazing. She’s so supportive and really listens. Which is just another ridiculous reason why I didn’t bring this up sooner. So, we talked and she agreed that I may have adhd. up. She prescribed a low dosage of adderall. I started taking it today. Which, not a lot of time for a huge amount of change and I was really working on managing my expectations.

But... just... wow. The difference in just the past day and ability to focus and not feeling exhausted for just living. And not just defaulting to scrolling through TikTok or tumblr for a whole day because I’m tired. Is just amazing. I think about a task and I get it done. Im not overthinking. It doesn’t feel like my brain is going a million miles a minute. I’m not drained after doing one thing. I’ve organized my room and my desk. My thoughts feel less jumbled. I feel more coherent when I talk. I’m not super jittery. I just don’t feel exhausted for living.

It’s only been a day but... I think this might be helping.

I know this is a long post. But I’m 32. I work for a big tech company. Like I thought I had my life together and was just lazy. I had such negative thinking. This might not be a miracle drug or fix. But... just don’t deny yourself possible treatment or options. Look into it and talk with your doctor.

I’m excited for this upcoming week and excited to see how this goes.

[butch-bakugo]

When and how did you know you had adhd? My friends have been telling me they think I have it and idk if I should see a doctor or not bc I don't really trust mine all that much

This actually isnt my field to step in because i was tested and professionally diagnosed at a young age( like... 9 or 10) for adhd so i never really had the chance to suspect i had it.

My suggestion is to seek self-diagnosis.

Check the most recent dsm, if you fit the symptoms, you probably have it. This is the book the doctors use to diagnose most things.

Make sure its not autism, ptsd, panic disorders or other learning disabilities. The line between autism and adhd can be very thin so its best to be sure your not confusing the symptoms.

Make sure its not temporary or related to other life issues. Life can make people feel similar to having it if your overwhelmed.

Check out @ adhd-alien. They have a plethora of comics and visuals talking about their life as an individual with adhd, symptoms and coping strategies.

Sry anon, this is one im not the best at as its something i grew up being told i have but had parents who treated me as though i shouldnt express the symptoms.