#i have a lotta lore for the boi and i love gettin to explore it heheheheh

[angie-long-legs]

25. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone?

Spill the Tea ☕️

"Uh, killed 'em? Don't get much worse than that!"

In the gritty foundations of his soul, Angel knew this wasn't the right answer. That there was one thing that he would truly never forgive himself for, no matter how long he waited in his eternal punishment to feel the burden of it lift. Of course, Hell wasn't a place where your sins were to be forgotten - more so a place where your sins thrived, and your shameful mistakes weighed heavy on you, unrelenting, for the rest of all time.

"I mean... I guess I did some more... personal shit than just whackin' mobsters.

"I... hurt a friend a' mine. A good friend. Best friend I eva' had, actually. Knew eachotha' since before we could walk or talk or anythin' - she was the neighbours kid, and on our street, everybody knew everybody.

"We grew up togetha', always togetha'. She was... sweet. Quiet, but real goofy once ya got ta know her. Too nice fa her own good. Her mom and dad were neva' around, so when my dad was bein' an asshole I'd camp out at hers, waitin' out the storm, ya know? Or when her parents skipped town fa more than a few nights, she'd come ta mine and my mom would cook a big family dinner so she'd have somethin' ta eat.

"Everyone thought we'd wind up togetha'. My dad was always sayin', "Anthony, yer gonna marry that girl one day!". Told me I was a lucky guy ta have it all come so easily ta me.

"But, uh... gettin' olda', realisin' I was different... I was scared. 'Specially when I started foolin' around with guys, sneakin' out an' gettin' high with fellas way too old fa me. By the time I was eighteen an' had neva' went steady with a girl, my dad was... y'know. Makin' comments, sayin' he ain't havin' a fa.g unda' his roof, threatenin' ta kick me out... I was terrified a' gettin' found out. And... I ain't proud a' how I handled it.

"This girl, my best friend... well, she was inta me - everyone knew it. I, uh, tried ta ignore it, fa the most part. Acted like it wasn't happenin', like I didn't know. Then, one day, I'd had this crazy fight with my dad, I went ta go see her, and... she told me she loved me. And... I dunno, I was a mess, and- and I told her I loved her too. And I did, just... not in the way she wanted. I thought- I thought maybe I would if I just... tried to. Also, I wanted my dad off my back - and he was, like a fuckin' shot. Neva' seen him more proud a' me than when I told him we were goin' together, and I did a lot a' fucked up shit fa that man.

"Think we made it about three or four months before it all went tits up - not that it wasn't doomed from the get-go. I was... fuck, I was shitty. Never wanted ta be around her afta' we started seein' eachother, I felt... pissed every time she tried ta be romantic or whateva'. Like I'd lost a fuckin' friend. And I was still messin' around with guys, tellin' myself I'd quit it and be a good partner or some other bullshit that'd neva' happen. Worst part was she was fuckin' good ta me, the whole time, she was tryin' ta get me ta open up, but... I mean, what was I supposed tell her? That I was a closet queer, a junkie? Even the shit with my family, I dunno how much she actually knew... I couldn't tell her nothin' real.

"Eventually, I got caught out. I'll spare ya the details, but it wasn't pretty. She left and... I never saw her again. Never knew where she went, what happened ta her. But she ain't down here far as I can tell, so I like ta think she made somethin' of herself. Lived a good life. She was smart - a good kid like her, ain't no doubt in my mind she landed on her feet.

"But... yeah, I broke her fuckin' heart. I was selfish, I took advantage of her feelins fa me. I lost the only friend I ever trusted, and if I could change one thing I did up top, ain't no contest. I'd pick that every goddamn time."