#i have a lot of thoughts / feelings | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stil-lindigo · 9 months ago

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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

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jeanivere · 1 year ago

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arthur morgan tiddies and tummy thats all im gonna say

#my art #arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur #arthur morgan rdr2 #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #man i have so many feelings about him #thinking a lot of thoughts #like that happy trail im currently staring at #no im not i gotta go guys bye

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chloesimaginationthings · 5 months ago

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FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf fanart #michael afton #pit bonnie #fnaf oswald #into the pit #fnaf sister location #william afton #SO THERES this concept I saw (and I also thought of) going around #and that’s the idea how pit Bonnie treats Oswald is similar to how William treated Michael #obviously not all the chasing and more spooky monster parts #but specifically a lot of the at home scenes #where pit Bonnie acts normalism almost like a stern father #I like this idea a lot it’s very interesting to think about #I can imagine Michael actually meeting the pit and being like yeah that’s like my dad #like that’s how he mostly remembers him too #it’s kinda funny and kinda sad #Oswald definitely just feel so lucky to have his dad #Oswald fr got the better end of the ‘fnaf parents’ stick 💀#love you Michael deserve so much more than you got 💜

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months ago

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Soup solves everything.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #Senshi #izutsumi #chilchuck tims #laios touden #marcille donato #THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED #I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(

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datcravat · 14 days ago

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It seems there's a new lawyer in town!!!

#I think she's one of the most underutilized characters ever I will DIE on this hill #she can hear people's feelings that is the COOLEST concept ever #you get people who can hear thoughts a lot and that's cool but hearing FEELINGS is such a sick and unique concept #AND SHES A LAWYER #THATS THE COOLEST CAREER YOU COULD GIVE SOMEONE WHO CAN HEAR FEELINGS THAT OPENS DOORS FOR SO MANY GOOD STORIES #I'D LOVE IN AA TO PLAY CASES AS HER WHERE YOU HAVE TO WORK BACKWARDS FROM PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS TO FIGURE OUT MYSTERIES #IT'S A WHOLE NEW SIDE TO THE EVIDENCE #AND SUBTLE HIDDEN FEELINGS KEEP GUIDING HER AND PPL JUST CANT KEEP UP WITH HOW SHE WORKS... STUFF LIKE THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING #WHY ISN'T IT UTILIZED WHY DO WE JUST HAVE PSUEDOSCIENCE MINIGAME #ATHENA IS SO LIKEABLE AND CHARMING AND FULL OF LIFE TOO #PLEASE CAPCOM #I LOV E HER PLEASE #GIVE US A CRAZY MOMENT WHERE SHE TAKES PHOENIX ASIDE HALFWAY THROUGH A CASEAND TELLS HIM HIS CLIENT WAS JUST ELATED AT THE SIGHT OF A CORPS #OR DO IT IN THE GAMEPLAY WHERE THE PLAYER SPOTS IT IN THE MOOD MATRIX #omg yeah actually that'd make me shit my pants that'd be so cool #proper ghost trick moment #THERE'S SO MUCH COOL STUFF YOu can do fuck okay sorry there are so many tags now #can you tell I got feelings abt this character I LOVE HER so much Im in love w her tbh and she's also so me #ace attorney #athena cykes #my art #have a good day thanks for looking at my art haha

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idolomantises · 1 month ago

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Man is it just me or are a lot of TV shows nowadays are written to have big emotional episodes in scenes with very little build up.

#txt #i have some thoughts on a certain show.... maybe i'll talk about it lol #like you would think with shortened seasons these writers would try to limit the cast so that big scenes feel more earned... but they dont?#they want these big massive expansive casts with big emotional moments by episode 2 and then every episode needs that Big Scene #i noticed this especially with a lot of indie animated shows #pacing and build up is sacrificed so we can have big emotional scenes with characters we know very little #even indie shows i enjoy im just kind of like “wouldnt this feel more earned if i actually knew this character”#and sometimes it works. pluto made me cry in the first episode! but it also spent so much time with these characters because #they're an hour long each

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fear0phobia · 4 months ago

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I noticed that in ep 4, when they watch the woman jump off the lighthouse, edwin and crystal have a similar reaction and niko and charles have a similar reaction. what does it mean? idk I just think it's interesting

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko sasaki #feel free to share any thoughts you have #we know that crystal and edwin have a lot of similarities #it did get me thinking about similarities between niko and charles #which they're more similar than i initially realized!#mine*

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bamsara · 3 months ago

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I think it would be nice to have the option to hide numbers on ao3. Make it where the 'kudos' and 'hits' number is author-viewable only, have an alternate option for when a list is sorted by such so people can read things based off their tags and preferences rather than see big number go brrrr

I speak as someone with popular fics, it doesn't have to be a requirement but like, an option? This could go for other websites too, tumblr notes and the like

#sara shush #just thoughts #i think putting numbers on our creations and posts and basically anything we put online ever has done damage #and most people default to the anxieties that their stuff isnt good enough #but getting a lot of numbers is just as damaging #you want it until you have it and then you have crippling anxiety and burnout and fears because you get stalked and dehumanized #i have a lot of thoughts and feelings #anyway #dont put each other down on this post i will block snipe. everyone be understanding and nice to each other asap

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artkaninchenbau · 6 months ago

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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

#My art #One Piece #Long post #Sir Crocodile #Nico Robin #Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare #Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child #But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead #IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about #And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away #In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out #(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet #She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it #IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook #Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook #But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY #Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic

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deeva-arud · 16 days ago

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Comfort after a shattered dream

...or at least that's what I imagined💀 After seeing the story update, I think she'd opt for a more subtle action ↓

she's not letting go of his hand

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #twst cater #deeva twst #cateeva #my art #something something holding onto the only personal relationship that remained the same in and outside his dream #<- that was the original idea for the first drawing #ANYWAY- effect layers my beloveds they saved that piece bc I wasn't in a rendering mood LMAO #Before seeing his model I thought he only had one side of his head braided #and it stayed like that here bc 1. I didn't feel like changing the lineart and 2. side braids would have looked a lot better 😭#like. top head full of tight cornrows..... gotta protect his beautiful ginger locks or he's gonna look like a medieval catholic monk soon-

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egophiliac · 10 months ago

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You can’t pick Lilia for this. But who is your other favorite short character in Twst?

I like the angry little king boy 🌹

#art #twisted wonderland #sorry epel and ortho i like you guys a lot too!#oh and grim i guess #wait how many other shorties are there in twst #anyway i have a lot of affection for episode 1 and for riddle's character arc #he is a terrible little bastard who is trying very hard to be a slightly less terrible little bastard #and i have feelings about his friendships with trey and cater and che'nya especially!#and how that relates to his upbringing and his dumpster fire of a mom and uhhhhhh you know. everything.#i don't know how to do the words about all the thoughts i have on fictional characters #me waving my hands frantically in the air: it's about LOVE and wanting to be LOVED this is what twst is ABOUT --#(i am dragged bodily offstage by my collar)

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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago

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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me