#i have a lot of thoughts / feelings
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I donât owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. Theyâre always passing urges, but itâs disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brainâs spent so long thinking only about suicide that itâs forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But Iâm trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
25K notes
·
View notes
Text
subject, specimen, spectacle;
should i say that you're dead?
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#gojo#bugs/#insects/#eye horror/#every time i post gojo art i feel scummy using like . the slew of tags this mf has#im like wow u look desperate gdfjkdjkg#listen ok im not a gojomain idk where people look fr content#anyway for not a gojomain i sure do have a lot of artistic breakthroughs whenever i draw him#first th eyedoves then lmhs gojo then gojo in the (club) bathroom by himself now this#loathe as i am to admit it i Love how much there is to pick apart of him in art theres so much theres so many angles u cld take#personally my favourite gojo angle in art (tm) is the Cryptically Unsettling Not Sane Not Human what can i say#keep ur thirst trap gojoart i like this guy unblinking and twitchy#on that note here he is pinned down as god intended#i ATE w this concept i fear fgfgsd i wanted a like. pallid formaldehyde dissection table under examination motif#and i was torn between using snakes or bugs to convey it and im SO SOOSOSOO happy i picked the bugs#ive used butterflies a lot they arent anything unfamiliar but truly i felt a chakra unlock when i thought of gojo+butterfly pinning#the burning light the eye the composition i rly think this is some of my best work#also also th poem was smth i came across when i was brainstorming captions and i ws like. gagged @ how well it fit gojo i had to include it#im not a poetry buff so my opinion is very uneducated but i think it was rly haunting and sad and beautiful#fit my target vibe so i took it slapped it on gojo w bugs said thank you verymuch smile :)
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
arthur morgan tiddies and tummy thats all im gonna say
#my art#arthur morgan#rdr2 arthur#arthur morgan rdr2#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#man i have so many feelings about him#thinking a lot of thoughts#like that happy trail im currently staring at#no im not i gotta go guys bye
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#pit bonnie#fnaf oswald#into the pit#fnaf sister location#william afton#SO THERES this concept I saw (and I also thought of) going around#and thatâs the idea how pit Bonnie treats Oswald is similar to how William treated Michael#obviously not all the chasing and more spooky monster parts#but specifically a lot of the at home scenes#where pit Bonnie acts normalism almost like a stern father#I like this idea a lot itâs very interesting to think about#I can imagine Michael actually meeting the pit and being like yeah thatâs like my dad#like thatâs how he mostly remembers him too#itâs kinda funny and kinda sad#Oswald definitely just feel so lucky to have his dad#Oswald fr got the better end of the âfnaf parentsâ stick đ#love you Michael deserve so much more than you got đ
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
get with the Crow-gram, Davrin
#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age veilguard#rook de riva#lucanis dellamorte#davrin dragon age#Marisol de Riva#illario dellamorte#i have THOUGHTS about illario lol i love him actually#and i encourage lucanis to forgive/spare him because like illario is just doing what he was technically raised to do????#i do think illario spirals a bit when he realizes that zara didn't kill lucanis and instead tortured him#and then a lot of the stupid choices he makes after that are like...trying to âfixâ it#but also having read the wigmaker job i'm like...i feel like there's some blood magic or something afoot with illario bc like?? ;-;#but also tho literally every time illario comes up in conversation lucanis is like MY IDIOT COUSIN - if i was illario i'd just start biting
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Just who are you, Councilor Medarda?
#i did not like her s2 arc so i am copium and living in s1 painter mel#mel medarda#arcane#my art#i have a LOT of thoughts on her and i wish she remained like. a normal person and not...whatever the magical stuff happened#it didnt develop smoothly enough for me to feel invested and left me just kind of. confused.#& i think that forgetting about Mels painting is leaving a huge interesting level to her character because art as a whole#can be used as a metaphor for the image for others to perceive vs how we perceive it ourselves...so for mel it would be herself#with the others perception being all of piltover. her mother. jayce. vik. lest. they all see her differently and mel herself i think#presents a different woman than what she is inside in favour of being 'diplomatic' and 'moving forward'#anyway thats just me rambling i jsut think there was a lot of melon left to thump in terms of her character#i loathe her trading in her signature colours for her mothers in the end
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
having your dom sit you in their lap with a vibrator pressed between your pussy and their thigh.
a simple enough variation to your usual routine of thigh riding, you let out a pretty sigh and rock your hips forward once before you feel their hands grip your hips to stop you.
âbe still for me, baby. no grinding, can you handle that?â you know the sweetness behind the question is all for show, that itâs designed to make you feel small and disgustingly needy. it works. youâre nodding stupidly, already letting the vibrations between your legs overtake your thoughts. they appraise your expression, the way it starts to shift from attentive to blissed out, and turn the vibrator up one setting for good measure. âgood, baby. i knew you could do it.â
itâs harder than you thought it would be, holding still through the pleasure. your brain, warm and gooey, keeps trying to urge you into your usual routine of humping away at whatever your partner puts between your legs. every time your hips twitch or shake, their grip tightens around you. you wonder if itâll bruise. you hope it will. you know youâre getting close, drooling as you kiss and bite at any inch of their skin you can reach without moving your hips. a particularly insistent throb of your pussy threatens to drag you down into an orgasm, and you remember your manners at the last second.
âcan i cum?â shakier than you wouldâve liked, followed by a long moan. a beat of silence hangs in the air as you realize the answer, but it doesnât stop you from pleading again, âcan i? please?â
âno, baby. wait.â your ensuing cries are hushed, one hand coming up to stroke your hair gently as though youâre not being tormented. you wind up to object again but youâre silenced by a tug on your hair that forces you to look them in the eye. âquit, baby. you know you like how it makes you feel, so wait.â
your cheeks flush hot at the accusation, knowing how much truth it held. your eyes start watering as you try to look for a way out, knowing just by their tone that this will not be a time where you could get away with cumming on accident. you drop your head to their shoulder and try to lift your hips, only to be forced back down onto the toy. your brain vaguely registers the instruction to âsit your ass down and be still,â but itâs nearly drowned out by the wail you let out as you connect with the vibrator again. you start shaking your head, pushing back against their chest in an effort to separate yourself from the overwhelming pleasure while your hips stay locked in place by strong hands. how long have you been holding this orgasm? a few minutes? seconds? it feels like itâll never end, like youâre letting them dangle you over a cliff for their own pleasure, watching you fight and cry while you try your best to follow the instructions given.
they pull back again to admire the distress on your face, letting out a pleased hum at the state youâre in. youâre whimpering constantly, head resting pitifully on their shoulder. they know they could stay there forever, keeping you desperate and pliant as you pant into their neck. they give an experimental bounce of their leg that sends you into another fit of moaning and begging.
âplease, please! i need to cum, daddy. i wanna be good but iâm going to cum, canât hold it anymore. need you to say yes,â
the grin that spreads across their face could only be described as lecherous, listening to the way theyâve absolutely ruined you. they have to get in close to your ear to ensure you hear, holding you still through the fight youâre still putting up as they press a kiss against your temple. âgo ahead baby, give it to me,â they groan out, hearing your moans start to pitch up before they even get the sentence out. as if you needed any help to ride it out, they press you down harder against the vibrator, coaxing out sob after sob as your orgasm tears through your body.
âshh, baby, i know. itâs good isnât it? why donât you do it again for me since you were so well behaved?â
#one. handed. write.#having a lot of thoughts about a particular experience i had#needed to tell yall about it#peaâs done having writers block we are so back!!!!#sorry i canât write smut with caps it feels way too serious#lesbian#wlw blog#lesbian blog#wlw post#wlw nsft#lesbian nsft#wlw concepts#wlw smut#lesbian smut#ns/fw#dedicated to all the underwear iâve ruined
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
It seems there's a new lawyer in town!!!
#I think she's one of the most underutilized characters ever I will DIE on this hill#she can hear people's feelings that is the COOLEST concept ever#you get people who can hear thoughts a lot and that's cool but hearing FEELINGS is such a sick and unique concept#AND SHES A LAWYER#THATS THE COOLEST CAREER YOU COULD GIVE SOMEONE WHO CAN HEAR FEELINGS THAT OPENS DOORS FOR SO MANY GOOD STORIES#I'D LOVE IN AA TO PLAY CASES AS HER WHERE YOU HAVE TO WORK BACKWARDS FROM PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS TO FIGURE OUT MYSTERIES#IT'S A WHOLE NEW SIDE TO THE EVIDENCE#AND SUBTLE HIDDEN FEELINGS KEEP GUIDING HER AND PPL JUST CANT KEEP UP WITH HOW SHE WORKS... STUFF LIKE THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING#WHY ISN'T IT UTILIZED WHY DO WE JUST HAVE PSUEDOSCIENCE MINIGAME#ATHENA IS SO LIKEABLE AND CHARMING AND FULL OF LIFE TOO#PLEASE CAPCOM#I LOV E HER PLEASE#GIVE US A CRAZY MOMENT WHERE SHE TAKES PHOENIX ASIDE HALFWAY THROUGH A CASEAND TELLS HIM HIS CLIENT WAS JUST ELATED AT THE SIGHT OF A CORPS#OR DO IT IN THE GAMEPLAY WHERE THE PLAYER SPOTS IT IN THE MOOD MATRIX#omg yeah actually that'd make me shit my pants that'd be so cool#proper ghost trick moment#THERE'S SO MUCH COOL STUFF YOu can do fuck okay sorry there are so many tags now#can you tell I got feelings abt this character I LOVE HER so much Im in love w her tbh and she's also so me#ace attorney#athena cykes#my art#have a good day thanks for looking at my art haha
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Man is it just me or are a lot of TV shows nowadays are written to have big emotional episodes in scenes with very little build up.
#txt#i have some thoughts on a certain show.... maybe i'll talk about it lol#like you would think with shortened seasons these writers would try to limit the cast so that big scenes feel more earned... but they dont?#they want these big massive expansive casts with big emotional moments by episode 2 and then every episode needs that Big Scene#i noticed this especially with a lot of indie animated shows#pacing and build up is sacrificed so we can have big emotional scenes with characters we know very little#even indie shows i enjoy im just kind of like âwouldnt this feel more earned if i actually knew this characterâ#and sometimes it works. pluto made me cry in the first episode! but it also spent so much time with these characters because#they're an hour long each
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
"Molten Giant" Surtr waiting for her date
#undoubtedly at the wrong restaurant getting annoyed that the date hasnt shown up yet#Surtr feels like the sort to wear the Hot Topic Special to me#woman in her late 20s living the mid teens edgelord lifestyle#arknights#i have a lot of thoughts about her. she's so weird#surtr#digital art#artists on tumblr#art
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I noticed that in ep 4, when they watch the woman jump off the lighthouse, edwin and crystal have a similar reaction and niko and charles have a similar reaction. what does it mean? idk I just think it's interesting
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#feel free to share any thoughts you have#we know that crystal and edwin have a lot of similarities#it did get me thinking about similarities between niko and charles#which they're more similar than i initially realized!#mine*
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it would be nice to have the option to hide numbers on ao3. Make it where the 'kudos' and 'hits' number is author-viewable only, have an alternate option for when a list is sorted by such so people can read things based off their tags and preferences rather than see big number go brrrr
I speak as someone with popular fics, it doesn't have to be a requirement but like, an option? This could go for other websites too, tumblr notes and the like
#sara shush#just thoughts#i think putting numbers on our creations and posts and basically anything we put online ever has done damage#and most people default to the anxieties that their stuff isnt good enough#but getting a lot of numbers is just as damaging#you want it until you have it and then you have crippling anxiety and burnout and fears because you get stalked and dehumanized#i have a lot of thoughts and feelings#anyway#dont put each other down on this post i will block snipe. everyone be understanding and nice to each other asap
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Comfort after a shattered dream
...or at least that's what I imaginedđâ After seeing the story update, I think she'd opt for a more subtle action â
she's not letting go of his hand
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#twst cater#deeva twst#cateeva#my art#something something holding onto the only personal relationship that remained the same in and outside his dream#<- that was the original idea for the first drawing#ANYWAY- effect layers my beloveds they saved that piece bc I wasn't in a rendering mood LMAO#Before seeing his model I thought he only had one side of his head braided#and it stayed like that here bc 1. I didn't feel like changing the lineart and 2. side braids would have looked a lot better đâ#like. top head full of tight cornrows..... gotta protect his beautiful ginger locks or he's gonna look like a medieval catholic monk soon-
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
"you kept editing the script until the original words were all gone!"
#great god grove#ggg click clack#my art#art#i have a lot of thoughts/ feelings/ headcanons bout dis guy#not sure if this is gonna be my âdesignâ but ykno. needed to get that thought out there#then as i went to post this someone did a similar thing so esplodes into 1 million bitz
1K notes
·
View notes