#i have a lot of gay thoughts i will never share with the World but they're there

[sunrise-on-the-shore]

men!!!!!!! i love 'em!!!!!!!

[theuntoldstorythatneedsawriter]

Interview 📺🎤

Alexia Putellas x reader

warning : fluffy 💭💗

(my first language isn't english nor spanish, sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes)

Summary:

Interviewing the famous Alexia Putellas was a dream come true. Being a fan of football since a young age, finally being able to interview one of the best female footballers was truly an extatic. During this interview, Alexia slowly started flirting with you, teasing you slightly, smiling at you. After a few months of texting and going out, you become official. When another interview is organised with the two of you, the dynamic is a lot different than what it was a year ago.

You were living in a dream, growing up as a football fan, you could have never imagine in your life being able to interview the Alexia Putellas. You always admire her dedication, and leadership on the pitch. And imagining that in a few minute you would be sitting across from one of the best female footballers in the world felt surreal.

These past few days were a mix of excitement and nerves, revising till perfection every single word that you would adresse her, imagining every possible of scenario, having several anxiety attacks on what could go wrong.

You took a deep breath as you started hearing her footsteps coming closer and closer to the set.

(A) Hola debes ser la entrevistadora, ¿cómo estás?

hello you must be the interviewer, how are you ?

Estoy muy bien, gracias por preguntar. ¿Cómo estás?

I'm doing great, thank you for asking, how are you ?

Your thick English accent clearly coming through every word. She smiled at you.

English i see, lo estoy haciendo muy bien, gracias hermosa.

English i see, im doing great thank you beautiful.

You felt warm comming up to your cheeks, body frosen in shock, gay panic clearly sprend all over you as you try to make some kind of respond. She chuckled softly at you, eyes locked on yours.

Eres linda, me gustas. ¿Qué tal si comenzamos esta entrevista? Estoy emocionada por saber más sobre ti.

You're cute, i like you. how about we start this interview? im excited to know more about you.

You nobbed in response, not wanting to embarrass yourself more.

As you asked her about her incredible journey, her career highlights, her training, her winning the Ballon d'Or. She answered each question with her characteristic charm, but as the interview went on, something shifted. Her smiles stayed longer than necessary, her eyes sparkled with a teasing light, and there was a playful undertone to her responses. At first, you thought it was just your imagination. Then, she began making subtle comments. You laughed it off, trying to stay focused, but you couldn’t ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

After the interview, you both lingered a little longer than expected, exchanging stories beyond football, letting the professional wall between you slowly disappear. Over the next few months, what started as an innocent professional connection turned into something deeper. You found yourselves texting frequently, sharing small moments of your day. Each conversation, each meeting, felt electric, filled with a tension that neither of you could ignore. Eventually, the inevitable happened. Alexia asked you out, and from that moment, everything changed.

Months passed, and your relationship blossomed. You had kept it private, aware of the media’s prying eyes. Alexia was extremely private, but with you, she was open, playful, and warm in a way the public rarely saw.

A year after that first interview, another one was scheduled. this time, both of you knew it would be different. As you walked into the studio, memories of your initial interview flooded back. The dynamic between you was entirely different now, the polite, formal exchanges of last year were gone. Now, there was a sense of ease, familiarity, and affection that neither of you could hide.

The interview started, but this time, the teasing wasn’t subtle. Alexia grinned at you before answering each question, occasionally reaching across to touch your hand or throwing in a playful remark about your relationship. The camera crew noticed the chemistry immediately, exchanging knowing looks as you tried to maintain your composure.

Has cambiado un poco desde nuestra última entrevista, no recuerdo que estuvieras tan... distraído.

you've changed a bit since our last interview, I don’t remember you being so...distracted.

She said, smirking. You laughed, trying to keep it professional, but you could feel the blush creeping up your cheeks.

Creo que eres tú la que está distraída, Alexia.

I think it’s you who's distracted, Alexia.

The interview was a mix of serious questions and light-hearted banter. It wasn’t just about football this time; it was about the bond between you two, the connection that had grown from a shared passion for the sport into something far more personal. The audience could see it, and they loved it.

As the interview wrapped up, Alexia leaned in slightly, her voice just low enough for only you to hear.

¿Cena después de esto?

Dinner after this?

You smiled, feeling your heart race just like it did that first day.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

[bringthekaos]

I'm excited for your thoughts on the new season if/when you share them

It has legit taken me 3 days to come to terms with Act 1. Enough to be able to speak about it. Gunna apologize in advance for the wall of text, and I’m hiding it under a break for spoiler reasons. Also prefacing with these are all just my opinions. All are free to disagree with me and RB with discussions/theories etc. just don’t be a dick about it, I’m not engaging in any discourse.

Ok. So. I have mixed feelings, and I’m aware that this is because I don’t have the whole story yet. So this is all contingent on how the rest of the season plays out.

First and foremost, I’m… wildly swinging back and forth between love and disappointment for Viktor’s arc. So first the negative, and I’ll try to keep it brief because a lot of people have already expressed this and I don’t need to be beating that particular dead horse.

Viktor has had his agency, his bodily autonomy, his original ideas and nearly everything that made him Viktor stripped away. Nothing so far has been his choice. And while this could have worked just fine for an original character, he wasn’t. So there is a massive disconnect between what this character was/should have been. In League, it was all his choice (albeit with a healthy dose of mental illness thrown in, but still). AND it was very heavily suggested that many of the augmentations he performed weren’t as extensive as he lead everyone to believe (namely the controlling/dousing of his emotions). But it appears that whatever the Hexcore did to him, it’s real. He is clearly having a difficult time accessing his emotions, and if he can feel anything, it is limited to the point of him being completely stoic. And the thing with stoic characters is that you obliterate any emotional payoff for the audience. It’s very hard to make an audience feel an emotional connection to a character’s story arc when they themselves don’t feel anything (I have a theory about this though, but I’ll address it a little later in this post). And then there is the issue of Blitzcrank. Blitz was Viktor’s whole world, after his exile. How are they going to swing that? Like, I’m not even asking for Blitz to be in Arcane (that would be great, but I really don’t think they have time). But I stg if they take Blitz away from Viktor, make them someone else’s invention (my suspicion is Heimer or he finds the idea in Sky’s journal)… I’m sorry but no. This was Viktor’s idea, Viktor’s genius. I will genuinely be extremely upset if they take that from him too.

Then there is the whole situation with Sky. First, this girl was fridged. She was nothing but a plot device and continues to be just that. It feels hollow and forced, especially now that he’s hallucinating her as some sort of penance for what he did. (I have seen the prevalent theory that it’s the Hexcore using her image and his guilt to manipulate him, given that it “ate” her, and we have seen it “manipulate” him before when it punished him for trying to destroy it). But back to Sky—he barely acknowledged that poor girl. The reason for that can be argued, whether it’s because he’s gay or because he was just so wrapped up in his one-track minded research. But regardless, there just wasn’t enough setup between those two for this whole thing to have as much weight and meaning as I think it’s supposed to. Honestly to me (TO ME) it reeks of comphet. It feels like that random woman they threw at Poe Dameron to No Homo him. I’m not even asking for Jayvik canon. But the creators were well aware of this ship, after all it’s the second most popular ship in this show and it’s been around since 2012 when Jayce was literally created for Viktor. I’m asking for the bare minimum here—that it’s left open-ended as it was in League, open for interpretation.

Last negative I have is the whole Viktor Jesus thing. The first problem is I am pretty violently agnostic, and messiah narratives have never spoken to me. I don’t enjoy them, they feel weak. The whole “ordained by a higher power” thing is just… stale. Especially when this character originally had no higher power, he gave it to himself through his own hard work and ingenuity. Honestly, Viktor’s original arc is about as far from a Jesus allegory as you can possibly get. And I am absolutely terrified that they’re going to end said Jesus arc the way you’d expect—with him dying for it. Which leaves the moral of his story “disabled man should have just accepted that he was going to die despite the fact that it was the oppression and xenophobia of Piltover that left him out to dry, without proper health care, accessibility, equality, or equity that lead to his terminal diagnosis to begin with.” Which is a very oppressor-centric narrative and we do not need another one of those.

Sorry, I know I said I’d keep the negatives brief, and that was… not. My bad. But moving on!

I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, I did. I am working to embrace this new Viktor narrative and work it into my brain in a way that doesn’t ruin the ship for me. So without further ado, the positives.

Jayce.

Jayce.

Jayce.

I’d have to go back and time it, but it feels like he got more screen time in this first act than the entirety of the first season combined, and his character shined for it. It humanized him in ways season one never did. He’s caring, he’s devoted, and he loved Viktor! No matter what kind of love you think it is, it proves he loved Viktor without a doubt. He carried Viktor several city blocks to the lab to save him, and then YES, he broke his promise about the Hexcore because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing him!

And he’s funny! (The scene where he picks up the regular sized hammer in the fight against Renni and made that “this is ironic” face?? And then basically the entire interaction with Ekko? The hand me a tome thing, and then when he basically pulled this when Ekko suggested “so this is all your fault cuz you pissed off the Arcane”:

GOD that shit was great. Jayce’s personality just shined, and maybe it’s too much to hope, but maybe this will douse a little of the hate. Because instead of being a subtle hint at all of those things being true about him, it’s now overt. And when people lack media literacy, the hints have to be overt.

And th-the. The h. The HUG SCENE. I don’t think I will ever emotionally recover from that scene. Starting with Viktor who, despite being clearly emotionally—I dunno, vacant I guess—sounded so lost and scared when he said “what am I?” For me, it was whispers of that scene from The Last Unicorn: “what have you done to me?” And my poor sweet Jayce, who clearly hasn’t left this damn lab except to go to Cassandra’s memorial. Sleeping on the desk and bleeding through his bandages because he doesn’t want to spend a moment away from Viktor while he “recovers.” And his euphoric response when he finds Viktor alive, when he realizes he hasn’t lost him. And I OWE HIM AN APOLOGY, goddamn. I said in a post that “Jayce will not understand.” I thought that was how Arcane was gunna start the divorce. But Jayce genuinely did not care, as long as his lover friend was alive. And just… Jayce being so affectionate through this entire scene. The hug obviously, but also blurting things he thought he’d never get to say to Viktor—“I’m resigning from the council, my place was always here in the lab with you.”

And… the hug itself. I know we’re all analyzing it frame by goddamn frame, but I see exactly what everyone else sees—there is a moment where Viktor very subtly smiles. But it’s gone in an instant, and it turns bittersweet. LOOK AT HIM.

There is something there, it’s just buried. Deep beneath the surface. It seems to say “I want this, I have wanted this for so long.” But then he realizes something, something I don’t think we’re meant to understand yet. Maybe that he doesn’t feel anything about it anymore, and he recognizes that this should upset him and it doesn’t. Or perhaps it’s something more along the lines of “it’s too late.” Whatever it is, I think this is the exact moment he knows he has to walk away. Because he knows he’ll cave to the affection, he said it himself. (Which is another thing entirely. His voice changes when he says that. Something in him is reacting to that word. Maybe he’s fighting against it, or maybe he’s fighting to get it back. But something made him almost growl that word.)

Which leads me to my final thought (for this post anyway, cuz it’s turning into a novel); Viktor is still in there. He can still feel things, I just think they’re extremely muted by whatever the Hexcore did/continues to do to him, or he has to fight to express them. Because he also smiled at the hallucination of Sky after he “cured” Huck. And if he feels nothing, he wouldn’t have been “joyous” at the thought of her being proud of him, approving of the good things he’s trying to do in her memory. He wouldn’t crave that validation, that vindication from her. So I’m hopeful that we start to see this shell crack a little, especially if those visions of Sky are the Hexcore manipulating him through guilt. It will start to erode him, no matter how stoic he has become. And literally the only thing I’m clinging to is that Jayce will see this and try to pull him out. “He’s still in there and I have to save him.” And that maybe it’ll start to work.

[ladykailitha]

The Au Pair Boy Part 2

We interrupt your regularly schedule "Of Butterflies and Backstrokes" for another chapter of the nanny AU. I just need to cut down on the amount of backlog I have on this story and bolster OB&B while I work on the Halloween-esque metal band sequel "Around the World".

I am living for the responses to this fic. It makes my heart so happy!

In this we have a correct Robin, well... a mostly correct Robin and they all get to know each other a bit over dinner.

Part 1

~

Steve walked into his apartment feeling like he was walking on air. He never thought he would get his dream job, in his dream house, with his dream guy, who was gay. Like what did he do to warrant such a windfall?

The first thing he did was call Robin.

“Are you sure he isn’t some mass murderer?” Robin asked after he had explained the job. “Because that sounds too good to be true.”

“Well unless major rockstar and music producer, Eddie Munson is a mass murder,” he snarked back, “I high doubt I’m going to be murdered in my sleep.”

“You could be being catfished,” she warned. “He could only be pretending to be Eddie Munson just lure handsome young men to their deaths.”

Steve laughed. “Uh...no. The pictures online matched all the way to the cute dimpled smile he gets when he’s feeling super happy.”

“Ooh...” Robin teased. “Hot musician got it bad for the au pair boy.”

“No...” he whined. “He was looking at his daughters when he smiled like that. No dating the hot parents. That’s the number one rule. You know this.”

She burst out laughing, too. “For the married ones! But he’s single. It’s been a year since his very public break up with ex Ethan Giovanni. He’s trusting you with the two cutest girls ever. Like why not tap that?”

“Because I want to keep watching said little girls,” Steve huffed. “Plus he’s going on tour for three months in two days. Not going to happen.”

“Yeah,” Robin said. “For now.”

He told her about how they wanted to him to start that night and how this was the final test on whether or not he would be good fit.

“Knock ‘em dead, babe,” Robin said. “You’ve got this.”

~

Steve opted for a chicken lasagna with white sauce. He could sneak some vegetables in there and see if he could trick them into eating them.

He shredded the chicken and blended spinach and basil into the sauce. Added lots of shredded cheese as well as a well seasoned ricotta and popped in the oven.

While it was cooking he went up to the room that would be his if he got the job. It was large for some place where the help would be staying, but small in comparison to the girls room. Which they shared for now. Once they started school, Eddie said that they would be given their own rooms, but with them being so young it was good to keep them together.

Steve agreed.

He was close by, but he also had a baby monitor with camera that the app would be downloaded to his phone.

The house was well fitted with security measures that had only been tightened since the girls were born.

The room had that same Gothic, spooky feel, but wasn’t over the top with it. Instead of reds and blacks the room was dark browns and deep blues. Steve felt like he was floating on a ship on the high seas. He scratched his cheek thoughtfully.

He wondered if he could go a little harder on the nautical theme. There was an en suite bathroom that could also lean toward the nautical with its soft blues and teal color of the tiles and walls.

Eddie had given him a budget to decorate his rooms and now he was planning a shopping trip with Robin.

Steve knew he was getting ahead of himself, but he wanted the job so bad. Surely the universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to taunt him with it only to take it away.

He checked the timer on his phone and saw that it was almost time to check on the lasagna. He trotted back down the kitchen, again admiring the decor of the place. Everything felt antique but timeless at the same time.

He really did love it.

The kitchen was even stylishly antique in look and flavor, but all the appliances were state of the art. Only nothing was connected to the internet here. It was honestly freeing in that regard.

He hummed to himself as he pulled the dish out of the oven and set it on the stove top to let it firm up a bit before serving. He started to get down plates and cups for dinner. He quickly set the table for three adults and two children. Noting that one plate had a pink kangaroo and the other had a blue ballerina.

Steve correctly guessed which plate where as each girl came running up to the seats that they were sitting in for lunch and gasped in surprise that the right plate was in the right spot.

“Daddy, Daddy!” Joan cried. “He didn’t put my plate in Jannie’s spot!”

Eddie grinned down at his youngest. “So he did. Say thank you.” He turned to Janice, too. “You too, little miss.”

“Thank you, Stevie!” Joan and Janice said together.

Steve practically melted on the spot. He wanted to scoop them up and hold them forever. “I hope you’re all hungry, I made enough for an army.”

He set the dish on a couple of hotplates and everyone, yes even the girls, oohed and awed.

“This looks amazing, Steve,” Eddie said, positively salivating. “You didn’t have to go this far. Something simple would have been just fine.”

“Yeah, Steve,” Chrissy said, leaning forward to smell the lasagna. “I might have to haunt this place while Eddie’s gone if you’re going to cook like this, sweetie.”

Steve blushed as he dished out the lasagna, before serving himself a slice. He picked up his plate and silverware (which looked like actual antique silver, he was not looking foward to handwashing them later) to move to the kitchen.

Eddie looked up at him with his big puppy dog eyes. “Where are you going? You’re going to eat with us right?”

Steve looked around the table and no one said a word against it. “Oh. Um... I’ve never eaten with the whole family before. I eat with the kids when it’s just us, but usually when the parents are there, they want me to eat in the kitchen.”

“Sit.”

Steve set his stuff back on the table and next to Eddie. The only other open on the far end of the table. He dug into his lasagna.

“So you want to break down their evening routine for me?” Steve asked after his second or third bite.

“No business at the dinner table!” Joan cried, kicking her feet in protest.

“Yeaahhhh...” Janice chorused. “That’s the rule.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Eddie. Who coughed into his fist and looked more than a little sheepish. There was definitely a story there and judging from the sly grin Chrissy was giving him, Eddie was no doubt the reason for said rule.

Eddie cleared his throat and set down his fork. “I’m, was a music producer for a very prominent metal label and before that I was the lead singer of ‘Corroded Coffin’. One of the few and I mean very few valid points my ex had was that I wouldn’t be present at the dinner table.” He twisted the rings on his fingers nervously.

“I would either be talking some band or another, messaging different people about the record I was working on or even just on the phone with former members of my band. So when I quit two years ago to try and save my marriage I still had people calling me and asking for my opinion, so the rule no business at the table was born.”

Steve smiled down at his plate. “No business at the dinner table then.” He paused and tilted his head to the side. “Would be asking you girls what you like business or just being friendly?”

Both girls looked at Eddie for guidance. “I leave it up to you, girls. I think it falls under being friendly.”

Joan cocked her head the side and instantly Steve was struck on how much like her dad she was. “I think it’s business,” she said with a pout. “Like in preschool.”

“I think it’s friendly,” Janice said, just to be contrary to her sister.

Chrissy and Eddie shared a knowing smirk and Steve realized this was a new thing and they might need those separate rooms sooner rather than later.

“How about we compromise,” Steve said gently. “I’ll tell you something about me, and if you want to you can share your favorite thing. Like if I said my favorite color was yellow, you could tell me what your favorite color is. But you don’t have to.”

“My favorite color is pink,” Janice said proudly. “Daddy says my room will be pink.”

Joan stuck her tongue out at her sister, because she knew she was had. “My favorite color is blue.”

“My favorite color is black,” Eddie said, joining in. “And red. Can’t forget red.”

Chrissy giggled. “Well, I guess if everyone else getting in on this, mine is green. I love that it’s the color of fresh cut grass, and spring, and how hot I look in it.”

Steve snorted as he was bringing his glass up to drink. Thankfully he wasn’t quite drinking when she said that. “Green’s a great color.”

Eddie and Chrissy shared another smirk.

“Ooh, I know why don’t we go around in circle,” Eddie suggested. “Like my favorite movie is ‘Lord of the Rings: Return of the King’.”

Steve smiled around his cup and then set it down. “I like that idea. My favorite movie is ‘The King’s Speech’. Colin Firth as King George VI and learning how to overcome his stutter? Amazing.”

Janice bounced up and down in her seat excitedly when she proudly cried, “Paddington Bear!”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yep, and now there always has to be marmalade in the house at all times.”

Steve chuckled. Poor Dad. “Have you seen the second one yet?” He knew there was a second one, but not when it came out.

Janice nodded fiercely. “Poor Paddington!”

“Barbie and 12 Dancing Princesses’!” Joan replied next. “There are so many pretty dresses in that one!”

“Ooh,” Steve cooed. “That’s a fun one. And there are so many Barbie movies to chose from, have you watched all of them yet?”

Joan nodded as Eddie shook his head sadly. “So, so, so many times. Same with both Paddington Bear movies. So have fun.” He flashed Steve a smile that was half between a grin and a grimace.

“Well I haven’t seen any of them yet,” Steve said with a wink a Janice. “You’ll have to show them to me tomorrow.”

“My current favorite is ‘The Quiet Place: Day One’,” Chrissy said. “Lupita Nyong’o is just too gorgeous for me to not watch every movie she’s in. I even watched Marvel movies for her and I’m a DC girlie all the way.”

They went around the table learning favorite books and other things about each other. Joan forced to participate so she wouldn’t be left out of the conversation. Then after they were all done. Steve cleaned up and put the leftovers into the fridge.

Then he watched as Eddie put his girls to bed. They got baths on Tuesdays and Saturdays unless they were super messy that day. They brushed their teeth to Daniel Tiger song and got into their pajamas.

Well...pajamas for Janice and a nightgown for Joan. Each one got a different story complete with all the different voices. He was assured he wouldn’t have to do the voices. That was only a Daddy thing.

Then the lights were turned off leaving the glow of the bumblebee nightlight to lighten the room and find its way into Steve’s heart.

~

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Tag List: CLOSED

1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @sadisticaltarts @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dolphincliffs @steddie-as-they-go @steddieislife

10- @kultiras @morallyundefined @ollieolive

[genderkoolaid]

Examples of transandrophobia: i've seen sections of Leslie Feinberg's piece "Sisterhood: Make it Real" passed around this site for literally years, and TODAY was the first time that I saw the whole thing and learned that ze called out cisfeminists in it for getting rid of trans men the second they started transitioning. Like I always thought it was a good piece but I had literally NO IDEA that it talked about trans men because that part was never included in posts about it, even when those posts were calling out cisfeminism for being transphobic. I'm just gobsmacked tbh

This is a great point!

Honestly more people need to read that full chapter. There's a lot of really good points.

Amongst other things, Leslie talks about how "women good men bad" is poor feminism:

Of course, as a result of the oppression women face growing up in such a violently anti-woman environment, some women draw a line between women as allies and men as enemies. While it’s understandable that an individual might do so out of fear, this approach fails as theory. It lumps John Brown and John D. Rockefeller together as enemies and Sojourner Truth and Margaret Thatcher together as allies. This view of who to trust and who to dread will not keep women safe or keep the movement on course.

How feminine men are victims of gender oppression:

The oppression of feminine men is an important one to me, since I consider drag queens to be my sisters. I’ve heard women criticize drag queens for “mocking women’s oppression” by imitating femininity to an extreme, just as I’ve been told that I am imitating men. Feminists are justifiably angry at women’s oppression - so am I! I believe, however, that those who denounce drag queens aim their criticism at the wrong people. This misunderstanding doesn’t take gender oppression into account. For instance, to criticize male-to-female drag performers, but leave out a discussion of gender oppression, lumps drag queen RuPaul together with men like actor John Wayne! RuPaul is a victim of gender oppression, as well as of racism.

How masculine women are assumed to know less about gender oppression:

But I grew up very masculine, so the complex and powerful set of skills that feminine girls developed to walk safely through the world were useless to me. I had to learn a very different set of skills, many of them martial. While we both grew up as girls, our experiences were dissimilar because our gender expressions were very different. Masculine girls and women face terrible condemnation and brutality including sexual violence - for crossing the boundary of what is “acceptable” female expression. But masculine women are not assumed to have a very high consciousness about fighting women’s oppression, since we are thought to be imitating men.

And as you said, how trans men deserve access to women's and lesbian's spaces without having their transmasculinity ignored or seen as being butch-in-denial:

And our female-to-male transsexual brothers have a right to feel welcome at women’s movement events or lesbian bars. However, that shouldn’t feed into to misconception that all female-to-male transsexuals were butches who just couldn’t deal with their oppression as lesbians. If that were true, then why does a large percentage of post-transition transsexual men identify as gay and bisexual, which may have placed them in a heterosexual or bisexual status before their transition? There are transsexual men who did help build the women’s and lesbian communities, and still have a large base of friends there. They should enjoy the support of women on their journey. Doesn’t everyone want their friends around them at a time of great change? And women could learn a great deal about what it means to be a man or a woman from sharing the lessons of transition.

Not that "trans women belong in feminism" wouldn't be a good point on its own, but people's selectivity with which parts of that chapter they share definitely warrant scrutiny.

[andy-wm]

i'm wondering how your thesis of "idols will come out when they want" fits into your insane shadow analysis attempting to prove jimin and jungkook fucked in the middle of their travel show (amongst other things)? like do you get joy out or trying to drag someone out of a closet they might not be in? or is it something else? just curious! 😀

Hey wdcmaxy

Since you have the guts to use your name I'll respond :)

So, you read my thesis?

*Sips whisky*

Cool. And you read my insane shadow analysis too?

Hmmm... do you come here often?

Let me answer your question then.

I think we both know the shadows analysis isn't really insane - it's based on very basic earth science. Shadows grow longer as the day progresses because of the rotation of the earth on its axis. You sound reasonably literate so i assume you know this already.

I guess your description of my shadow analysis ( I think I'll name my next racehorse 'Shadow Analysis') as insane is an attempt to discredit the idea that a fair bit of time passed while Tae was out of the house? But that was kinda silly on your part. Even children know that shadows change as the day passes.

Nothing insane about it.

He was gone for hours, no debate.

Now let's move on to the fucking part, and when and how idols choose to come out.

This is actually worth discussing.

As flattered as i am that you think my tiny insignificant blog could be a game changer for anyone, let's be real.

How many people, besides yourself, do you think read my blog?

Serious question.

I'm estimating maybe 100. Double that on a good day. Maybe 300 if i write something REALLY profound which doesn't happen often.

I am way less excited about my impact on the world than you are, because I'm a realist.

BUT if by some strange twist of fate my blog came to the attention of someone whose opinion mattered (I'm not counting you, don't worry) do you think they would take it seriously? Do you REALLY imagine a random tumblr post about shadows could make someone believe that an idol was gay if they didn't already believe it?

Here's a great example of how that wouldn't happen:

You, dear reader.

You're my example.

You came here to tell me I'm speaking shit and that I should pull my head in, correct? My insane shadow analysis hasn't changed your beliefs at all. You're here, throwing a tantrum on my page, because you don't agree with what I'm saying, not because you suddenly believe it.

Or ...

Perhaps you suspect it's true and that scares you. Maybe you can't be absolutely sure I'm wrong and that's why you need to yell at me? Could that be it? Time for a bit of self reflection?

Either way, it's not going to make an iota of difference in the grand scheme of things.

We are all just dust motes floating through time and space, my friend. You dont need to worry so much. The universe is unfolding exactly as intended.

However... There are a couple of things we should agree on:

The fact is that the shadows grew long and therefore, time passed. And Tae was out for several hours. Maybe he went out for a bit of afternoon delight himself? Maybe Jimin and Jungkook played Pokemon Go all afternoon, or prayed, or practiced their English, or braided each other's hair.

Regardless of whether they did or didn't fuck, or how many times, or on what surfaces, the time still passed.

And whether I write my blog or not, people will believe what they believe. And they will be gay or they won't be gay.

And even though I never mentioned anything about them fucking in that post, whether you like it or not Jimin and Jungkook might be fucking right now, as you read this.

One last thing...

Please bear in mind, through all of this, that fucking is not the be all and end all of life. Sure its a lot of fun if you do it right but the notion that it's more meaningful than sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, or giving someone your time and energy, is bullshit.

You can have a roots-deep love for someone and never even think of fucking them. Or you can meet someone in a public toilet and have at it, and leave without even knowing their name.

Sex does not equal love. Fucking is not that big of a big deal.

Unless...

Unless you're fucking someone the patriarchy doesn't want you to fuck. Then its a major issue.

Hear me out.

The need to control who we fuck is based a patriarchal need to control material wealth.

To control material wealth, the patriarchy needs to control reproduction (so they can be sure their wealth stays with their bloodline, because wealth is built over many generations) and to do THAT they need to control womens' bodies.... and to do that, of course they need to control who women fuck. And who men fuck too!

Do you know what the ACTUAL issue is with men who like dick? They don't automatically buy into the patriarchal way of life. (where's the solidarity, lads?)

Why don't they?

Because lifelong monogamy and marriage and nuclear families don't matter as much when you're not equating love with sex, and sex with reproduction. When your goal isn't to accumulate wealth and pass it down to your children.

Same thing applies to women who love women. They aren't focused on being demure and pleasing the men in power. They aren't focused on making themselves wife material. They will challenge the status quo and maybe even (shock! horror!) decide not to have children. How the heck do you make sure your money and power stays in the family, how do you build an empire, when the women are perfectly happy having sex with each other and don't want to love, honour and obey??

And whose fault is all this?

Its got to be the damned queers, right? They're making people think there might be other ways to share your life with those you care about! That's why its important to squash down gayness whenever you can, right, wdcmaxy?

Look at them destroying the fabric of society!

If Jimin and Jungkook ARE fucking every chance they get, good for them. I hope they're balls deep and breathless, hitting all those sweet spots for each other having a really good time.

And if they're not fucking, it actually doesn't matter to me because the way they support each other and share their hearts is beautiful. (I do think they are fucking though)

Truthfully, whatever they're doing, as long as they're happy I'm happy.

Can you say the same, wdcmaxy?

Peace.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I have been openly living as a trans man for some years now. And I'm at a point where it doesn't take up so much mental space anymore.

Don't get me wrong: I certainly do not mean "it doesn't matter anymore" here. I am not a "just call me whatever pronouns, I do not care" person and I don't think I ever will be. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, it's just not how I feel. Being adressed with my name and my pronouns is still important for my mental well-being, and it still triggers feelings of dysphoria when people misgender me.

Even apart from misgendering: My identity is still important, and it always will be! Being trans is not some small thing that loses its importance over time. It's who I am. Being a man - and having grown up in a society that told me I wasn't - influences the way I experience everything in my life (from my self-image to my relationships with others to... well, everything).

What I do mean here is: Before coming out to others, and also before coming out to myself and accepting myself as a man, there were naturally a lot of questions running circles in my brain. Why do I feel so sad when adults tells me I'll grow into a woman? Why does it cause me so much stress when mom tells me to put on a dress? Why does it make me so euphoric to use masculine scents? When I try to picture myself kissing a boy, why do I see two boys? Ah, I just learned trans people exist, why does this fascinate me so much that I can't stop thinking about it? Am I creepy for being so fascinated by them? I'm older now, why is that sad feeling not going away? Why is it only getting worse now that I have "grown into a woman"? Why do I keep getting this horrified feeling that I took a wrong route somewhere and was never meant to arrive at "woman"? Wait... could this mean I am trans? Is it too late to realize I am trans at my age? Can I really be trans when the whole thought of even just considering surgery feels overwhelming and scary? Will I ever be ready to actually come out as trans? I really want to get married some day, could I even find love as a trans person? Can I ever be happy in a relationship if I hide who I am? Can I go on living in the closet? Okay, I am trans and want to come out, is it safe to do that? Will my family still love me? Will I ever be brave enough to come out to people outside of my immediate circle? Will people take me seriously? Will people hate me? Will I regret coming out? What if I fuck up my life?

Well, I came out and the world didn't end. All these questions, I either found answers to them or they just dissolved over time - and that frees up a lot of energy and mental space. The space that was occupied by these questions and concerns is now available to me again.

I do not wonder if I am a man anymore. I just am one. It has become something that is just self-evident to me. It goes without saying - or without conciously spending time thinking about it. Of course I am a man, of course I am Oliver. Who else would I be?

We all have a limited amount of things we can focus on, and many trans people share this experience that over time they do not need to focus so much on it anymnore. But this is not unique to the process of figuring out you are trans - in the sense that a cis gay, bi, ace etc. person could also relate to this, but also in entirely non-lgbt-specific ways. Think about a person prepping for an important exam for example. A lot of their energy and mental space will be tied up in exam related questions... which obviously will not be a permanent state. After the exam, they will naturally no longer by preoccupied by wondering how the exam will go!

I'm telling you all this because one of you asked me if I struggled with coming to terms with being a trans man - and this is my very long way of saying: Yes, I did (and it's pretty normal to do! It's a really big realization about yourself!) but struggling isn't a permanent state.

You'll find answers to some questions, some questions will just fade away. You'll figure things out.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[dadsbongos]

Oh my gosh the I GUESS part was so funny cfdjkfd It will always make me so sad that we'll likely never see the later seasons, it would have been SO funny omg How are you btw?? Anything fun you've done/have coming up? Also any random headcanon thoughts about possibly dating both laios and kabru would be as lovely as you <3 -Artemis

i giggle thinking about his snooty fucking "i GUESS" that and calling mika gay for being attracted to him, a man

i was in a bit of a rut the past week or so but i've been getting better, drawing a lot and working on personal writing projects. plan on going out with a fwend on Wednesday :3 and i'm trying to con a hot person into liking me

labru poly hcs below!!

ok to get together with these two is a nightmare though it is worth it!

i can see it being you and kabru chasing laios, being romantic rivals with laios not paying attention to either of you LOL

kabru gets charmed by you after viciously studying you for months on end to try getting a leg up on you and you're just like every other hot-blooded mammal and can agree that kabru's hot

i can see you confessing to laios (because god forbid kabru actually voice his feelings to someone) so kabru is just silently devastated until eventually being absorbed into the relationship

domestic chores were a bit of a battle at first because kabru doesn't maintain his own space and laios can't maintain common spaces bc he doesn't know what everyone else is okay with him tossing out and dishes are a NO for him

but kabru is great at delegating/managing tasks plus he can care for others. so he managed to think out a way for everyone to be happy: kabru does most of the basic chores (dishes, sweeping, dusting), laios does most of the yard work and shopping, and you the laundry/cooking ft. laios as a lil helper while picking up minor tidying (but obvi you guys can share and help as with all relationships yk)

non-negotiable tho you and laios and kabru are all legally obligated to indulging each other's niche interests. you and laios are ears OPEN to kabru's novelizations of world history and current gossip, and you n kabru listen to laios ramble about useless mythos and cryptids factoids

and ofc they listen to you prattle on about your own interests cuz that's love bby <3

when walking outside, laios likes to intentionally try finding cool bugs or dogs and kabru has to wrangle him by the collar of his shirt while you're just there like :) aw bfs

kabru looooves planning dates and doesn't usually like feeling out of the loop or surprised unless its something you three agreed wouldn't be orchestrated by him

blowout arguments are not common in any manner, since kabru's an ace at recognizing/dismantling how you feel and is flexible in asking how to better put your mind at ease

meanwhile laios just HATES fighting and arguments and is not the type to enforce his way of thinking/doing certain things unless it'll actually drive him insane (which is pretty uncommon)

kabru is probably in charge of finances cuz its just less stress for him

laios likes decorating the space but you and kabru have to nyx some of his stranger ideas (a fully functional bigfoot puppet hanging from the ceiling, fresno night crawler figures on the tv stand, etc.)

nautical themed bathroom is a for sure though i'm sorry i'm sorry, laios is white and kabru was raised by milsiril they're just going to have a nautical themed bathroom no matter how you feel about it

i have an idea i want to make a fic but can't find the time: basically the same thing where you n kabru hate each other but get along for laios' sake cuz you're both dating him. until you fuck nasty and bond for realsies <3

[milaisreading]

Isagi sister y/n x Sae? She was in love with y/n for a long time and he was planning to confess to her. While all this time y/n was thinking that Sae was gay for Shidou after she saw their matches together. When he confessed to her, y/n told him that isn't he is gay for Shidou.

🌱🩷: I was supposed to be studying this morning, but your idea was funny so I had to write it. Thanks for the request!

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

"Hmmm..." Sae muttered as he looked at the screen of his phone. Over the past few days that was how most people could find him, just sitting and looking at his phone. From time to time, his expressions would change, but that was only if you looked at him fast enough. A lot of people might say it was pre-final game jitters, but whoever knew Sae enough knew that wasn't true. Rin, Isagi, and Shidou would sometimes ask if je was ok, but all they would get is a short nod from him.

'I hope he won't be acting weird tonight. We really need to have his head in the game if we want to win the World cup.' Rin sighed as he received another short nod from Sae.

"What's up with Undereyelashes senior? Did you two have another fight?" Shidou snickered, earning an annoyed look from Rin. But, before the younger could yell back at him, Isagi stepped in between them. They didn't need all of this hours before their final game with Germany!

"Just calm down everyone. Let's leave Sae-san alone for now."

'Be honest when confessing, and also be smooth about it?' Sae frowned as he read through the guide.

'I hate these internet advice sites.' Sae groaned, putting the phone away and rubbing his eyes. He was tired, very tired from all the training, but also from keeping all these emotions under wrap for the past few months. Sae Itoshi wasn't someone who saw himself falling in love with anyone, heck, he never saw himself having a crush! But, here he was, hours before his final game at the World cup, he was busy figuring out a way to confess his feelings for (Y/n).

'This is ridiculous. I should have done this before the game. But, only if I win tonight will I see myself worthy of her.' Sae shook his head as a blush spread across his face.

"I will take a walk." The rehead muttered to himself as he walked out of the room Rin  Shidou, and he shared.

"Are you not nervous? The final game kept mom, dad, and I up all night." The older Itoshi froze in his footsteps as he heard the voice of the one person that's been haunting his thoughts for the past months.

'(Y/n)...' Sae gulped as he observed her and Yoichi's interaction.

"I was nervous days prior, now I am just numb to everything." Yoichi shrugged his shoulders as (Y/n) poked his cheek.

'Wish she would do that to me-Is that Yoichi's jersey she is wearing?!' Sae gulped as he noticed the familiar clothing item, which caused a weird wave of jealousy to hit him.

"Hm?" Feeling eyes on them, (Y/n) turned to look at Sae, and gave him a smile and wave.

"Sae-san! Ready for the game later?!"

Yoichi looked back as well, noticing the blush on the older's cheeks.

"You finally got out of your room?"

"Finally?" (Y/n) asked in confusion, but instead of getting an answer, the boy turned around and quickly walked away.

"Maybe he is nervous?" (Y/n) suggested, watching in sadness as Yoichi chuckled a little.

"Hard to imagine. He basically breaths football." He answered back, earning a nod from (Y/n).

'I think he might be panicking because him and Shidou are in the same team again. After all, I know all to well how it feels to be close to someone you love, but can't tell them that.' She thought as her expression fell a little.

'I wish he liked me like I like him. But, Shidou is the one he wants.'

"Let's go and get some food. I can't play on an empty stomach." Yoichi said as he pulled (Y/n) towards the exit.

"Sure..."

'Maybe,in another life he would like me back.'

Meanwhile, Sae was having a small breakdown in the bathroom.

'That smile... shit, it's so cute! She is so sweet and caring, how can one not fall for her.' Sae thought as he washed his face, hoping the cold water might help his blush.

"That smile, the voice, the eyes, everything is way too ethereal about her. I need to get this off of my chest as soon as possible." Sae took a few deep breaths.

"Shit, get your head into the game, Sae. You can't embarrass yourself in front of (Y/n) tonight."

A few hours later, the game was about to start. The stadium had a special euphoria haunting it, something neither the Japanese or German team felt before. Was it because it's the final game? Was it the loud cheers from the Japanese fans? They didn't know, but they definitely enjoyed it... some more than the others.

"Sae-chan! Ready for the game? You finally got off your high horse?!" Sae flinched as Shidou jumped on his back and yelled into his ear.

"Get off!" Sae yelled, shoving Shidou off of his back and looked back to where (Y/n) was sitting (he had to beg Yoichi to tell him where her seat was). Sending her a small wave, the girl returned it, then she looked back to where Yoichi was.

"YO-CHAN, DO YOUR BEST!!"

Sae sighed dreamily as he heard her yell, ignoring the small jealousy he felt for Yoichi at the moment.

'I wish she would cheer me on like that.'

"I WILL!!" Yoichi was heard yelling back, looking away from Kaiser for a moment.

"Hmm? Who is that? Your girlfriend?" Sae froze for a moment as he heard Kaiser's voice, then looked at the blonde, who had an amused smirk as he stared back at (Y/n).

'Don't look at her, you creep.' The redhead narrowed his eyes and walked over to where Kaiser and Yoichi were.

"Eww! That's my older sister, you dumbass." The blue-eyed boy cringed, which only amused Kaiser more.

"Even better, then. Hope the cutie will not faint from all the magnificent goals she is about to witness from me."

Hearing his words Yoichi recovered from his disgust and sent a warning glare in Kaiser's direction.

"Stay away from her."

"And if I don't?" Kaiser challenged as Sae arrived at Yoichi's side.

"Just shut up. The game is about to start."

Although his voice sounded monotone, that was far from what he felt inside.

It was a tiring 95 minutes of the game. With Sae, Rin, and Yoichi scoring on one side, and Kaiser and Ness on the other, but they made it. Neither the players or the fans could believe it. Japan actually won the Cup. The players of the Japanese team collapsed on the ground after Yoichi scored the final goal, too tired and excited to do much, while the fans were the ones erupting in screams of joy and crying.

"YOICHI!! YOU DID IT!!" The said boy laughed a little as (Y/n) ran up to give him a tight hug, tears streaming down her own face.

"I am so proud of you!" She cried out as Yoichi hugged her back.

"Thanks... without you and our parents' support I wouldn't be here." The boy said back as they separated.

"You are too humble." She pouted, but before she could say anything else, Sae interrupted the conversation.

"(Y/n), can I talk to you for a moment?" The boy asked, looking oddly nervous to the two siblings.

"Sure." She nodded her head as Sae led them to a more private area, or at least a spot where there were no cameras.

"What did you need? And congrats on winning! Your goal earlier was amazing!!" (Y/n) said, which boosted Sae's ego even more up.

"Thanks, glad that you liked it. But, I called you here to talk about something else."

"What is it?" (Y/n) wandered, part of her wanting to ask why he was with her, when he could be celebrating with Shidou.

'Maybe he needs dating advice?' She mused.

"I wanted to tell you this for a while now... I really like- I mean, love, I really love you."

(Y/n)'s eyes widened in shock and her face turned red as Sae continued.

"You are always so calm and kind to others, you were even kind to me after I acted like a jerk the first time we met. I am not really one to fall in love, I never imagined myself in this position, but I am glad that it is you who I fell for."

"Sae... wait, so... so you don't like Shidou-san?" She asked, trying to process everything. Sae stopped talking and looked at the girl in bewilderment.

"Why would I like him of all people?"

"It's just... you both look so close. And your interactions during the U-20 match, I thought that you like him..." (Y/n) admitted, nervously playing with her fingers. Sae was pretty much speechless for a good 2 minutes, ignoring everyone around himself as he sighed.

"I only love you. Shidou is a friend, I will admit that, but I don't see hin as anything more." Sae spoke as he took her hands into his. (Y/n) got more flustered as she avoided Sae's eyes for a moment, but eventually spoke up as well.

"I.... I love you as well. I have for a while now." She stuttered out while looking up at Sae. The boy felt a variety of emotions hit him, but the one that stood out the most was happiness. Pure, utter happiness.

"That makes you mine, from now on. And I will be yours." He said, kissing the embarrassed girl on the cheek.

"I am glad then." She laughed a little.

[purpurussy]

hi. once you mentioned your thoughts on the take that phil stayed in the closet for dan. could you share it again with the class again. sorry

⚠️ Dan and Phil DNI⚠️

dsfhjjkl I fear I'm not well-educated enough on the lore to have an accurate take. and it's really the notion that he "went back in the closet" for dan that bothers me. but I'll try to explain how I see it and people can feel free to link me to the vitally important receipts that I'm missing here which change the whole narrative lmao

the thing is I don't think it was 100% because of dan. i do think phil would have come out sooner if dan had been in a better headspace with everything, but imo it's not entirely accurate to say that phil would have been out and proud on youtube the entire time otherwise because as far as I can tell, he wasn't ever in that position 😭 would an out and proud man have made snokoplasm.

I think phil was referring to himself as bi on myspace but so was dan back in the day. and I think id'ing as bi in a setting where you don't expect that many people to see it beyond your personal network is a very different kettle of fish from being completely vulnerable and honest about your identity as a full-on celebrity. Phil has also told anecdotes that make me feel like he had 1 foot in the closet and 1 foot out in some ways (eg auditioning for big brother and then being terrified that they'd post his audition tape bc he said he was gay and then instantly regretted it, getting outed to his family by a friend when he was in college and having an awful time with that whole situation) and I certainly haven't seen anything that would lead me to believe he was ever really out as gay (and proud) on youtube at any point before 2019. Phil has also alluded to experiencing internalized homophobia/feeling like there was something wrong with him for being gay, and I feel like people gloss over that since it wasn't as severe as Dan's experiences.

so I don't think it's entirely accurate to say phil "went back in the closet" for dan firstly because I don't think he was ever fully out of the closet until 2019. he was certainly not out and proud with 0 caveats. like he never said it with his whole chest until coty.

then there's the fact that there can be real-world consequences to coming out which can be hard to predict or manage. things are a little different now but I can imagine it would have been tough trying to do a risk-benefit analysis of coming out when they were working with the BBC, trying to get things like world tours and book deals off the ground, and also I think they were probably not hugely financially secure back then (especially very early on/around the time they moved to London). like this is pure conjecture, but I can imagine it could have been tough to come out as gay, not knowing if you'd be inadvertently tanking a career opportunity because oh never mind we already have an openly gay radio presenter on this show and we don't need 2 more, or oh no don't do that because then we'll have to cancel the shows in Russia and Malaysia or whatever ykwim? (I assumed this was also part of the reason why dan had a breakdown about wanting to come out before II started but again that's based on nothing lmao)

now that I'm thinking about nick grimshaw coming out as gay in 2012 and co-hosting the radio show with them I feel like I'm connecting some dots but again this is just me yapping. I remember finding out he was gay back then and I vaguely remember people posting about feeling "betrayed" or being otherwise homophobic towards him but I can't remember whether the general reaction was positive or negative at the time. I also feel like there's something to be said for the fact that a lot of actors/people in situations like this feel like they're competing against other members of their marginalized community, because they can't both be hired for 2 different important roles because there can only be 1 token gay/poc or whatever. anyway food for thought I guess

I also think it's easy to assume Phil was just chilling the entire time since he plays his cards a lot closer to his chest than Dan. he doesn't like to talk about stuff like this as openly as dan and i think that results in us focusing a lot more on Dan's experiences (which makes sense since that's the information we have to work with, but still). he's hinted that it was rough for him to deal with the speculation about them and their relationship back in the day as well, and while I'm the last person to encourage people to start self-flagellating for the demon era, I do think it's worth considering that it can't have been easy for Phil either (I mean it was his face and words in the v-day video. I would have probably been institutionalized if that happened to me I'm just saying. the factors that led to dans no homo era can't have been easy for Phil to deal with either)

point is I think there were a lot of factors that kept them both in the closet. I do agree of course that Phil would've come out sooner if it weren't for dan needing to work through his issues before he was ready to come out (Phil has certainly said as much) but I don't think it's the only reason. I think it was certainly a show of the trust and respect he has for dan that he waited for Dan to be ready in the end, but I also think it's inaccurate when people talk as though dan singlehandedly kept Phil in no homo jail for 10 years and he would've been out and proud the entire time if Dan hadn't had a mountain of trauma and internalized homophobia to work through before he was ready to come out (which as dan himself has said, may have been a lot sooner than 2019, but there were other factors that kept him from being able to do that first)

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer horror, part 1

We all like a good horror story, right? You know what's even better? A queer horror story!

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean “guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending”, but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/ace spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don’t always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of “gay best friend” or a blink and you’ll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle*

Rose, like her parents, believes strongly that homosexuality is a sin, and holds great pride that her home town hosts Camp Damascus, a successful conversion camp for young teens. But Rose is also experiencing strange and terrifying things: memories of a beautiful girl, a demonic figure that shows up if her thoughts stray, flies crawling out her mouth. Something has happened in Rose's past that her parents won't speak of and that she herself can't remember, and Camp Damascus is at the center of it all. Sapphic, autistic main character, as well as a really cool take on demonic lore that is both inspired by and a subversion of christianity.

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland*

Young adult. Something happened to Iris Hollow and her two older sisters when they were little; after having gone missing, they were all returned with no memory of what happened and identical scars on their throats. Years have passed since then, and though seen as strange the girls still lead mostly normal lives - that is, until the oldest, Grey, goes missing, leaving strange clues in her path. As Iris searches for her, a strange man with horns starts stalking her and memories start to rise to the forefront in her mind. To save Grey, Iris will have to find out the truth of what happened all those years ago. Features wonderfully morally grey characters. Bisexual lead, but little to no romance.

Winter Tide (The Innsmouth Legacy) by Ruthanna Emrys*

Aphra and her brother are the only survivors after the government raided their home, Innsmouth. Their only living family are the amphibian people of the deep, whom they will one day join, but until then they are bound to land where they struggle to build new lives for themselves after the great loss of their home and loved ones. Then rumors start to spread of a russian agent seeking dangerous and ancient magic, forcing Aphra to involve herself as they try to stop it. Does contain horror elements but is generally a much more optimistic look on cosmic horror than most lovecraftian stories, told from the perspective of one of his monsters. Lots of focus on found family and rebuilding of community. Asexual main character (however I don’t think that becomes in-text confirmed until the sequel) and multiple queer characters in the supporting cast.

Rules for Vanishing by Kate Alice Marshall

Young adult. One year ago, Sara's sister went missing. Since then, Sara has drifted away from her friends, but when she receives a mysterious text inviting her to "play the game" - the same game that supposedly stole her sister away - Sara and her estranged friends all come back together to find her. Together they set off on a path that legend says appears only once a year, leading them toward the ghost Lucy Gallows and, hopefully, Sara's sister. Bisexual main character, told in a faux documentary style.

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

A young pregnant woman flees a cult that left her body strange and changing in terrifying ways. Hiding from both a world wanting to oppress her and the cult seeking to force her back, she does her best to raise her children while trying to find out the truth of the cult and being pursued by a hunter in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Bleak and scary, Sorrowland is a book that will creep under your skin with horrors both fantastical and very, very real.

Otherside Picnic (Otherside Picninc lightnovel series) by Iori Miyazawa

Sapphic light novel with a surreal and episodic horror vibe. Following the directions of an urban legend, university student Sorawo finds her way to a reality populated by horrifying creatures from ghost stories and modern urban legends (of which I’m sure you’ll recognize many). Here she teams up with fellow explorer Toriko, both to find out more about this strange world and to help Toriko find a missing loved one. Also available as a manga and (one season of) an anime. Sapphic.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Amrfield

Miri thought she lost her wife Leah when her deep-sea mission ended in a catastrophe. But Leah was miraculously returned to her - or so it seems. Because something happened down there, deep in the ocean, and whatever it was, Leah has brought it back with her. Surreal and strange, Our Wives Under the Sea will not answer all your questions, but it will give you a unique experience.

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher

Novella. Alex Easton, retired soldier, travels to visit their childhood friends, siblings Madeline and Roderick Usher, after finding out that Madeline is dying. In the siblings’ rural, ancestral home, Madeline walks in her sleep and looks to be fading away, while around it wildlife seems to be possessed by a strange force. With the help of a mycologist and an American doctor, Alex attempts to save Madeline and reveal the truth of her illness. Nonbinary main character.

Alien: Echo by Mira Grant

Young adult. Twin sisters Olivia and Viola’s parents are both xenobiologists, bringing them all over the galaxy. Most recently they’ve settled on a new colony world to study its wildlife, but it proves more dangerous than they could’ve ever imagined. Under attack from alien monsters, the sisters must keep each other alive while also coming to terms with a dark family secret. Sapphic horror. Part of the Alien franchise but stands well on its own.

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant*

A research vessel heads towards the Mariana Trench in search of answers of what happened to a ship which mysteriously lost all its crew some time earlier. In the deep dark, something intelligent and hungry awaits them. Very much mermaids of the horror variety. Sequel to a novella, can be read as a standalone. Also contains a sapphic romance, however that is a pretty small part of the plot as a whole.

Alice Isn't Dead by Joseph Fink

Based on the podcast by the same name. Keisha Taylor thought she had lost her wife. She even held a funeral and attempted to move on with her life. But then Alice started to appear, all over America, in the background of every single major tragedy in the country. To find her missing wife, Keisha gets a job as a trucker and sets out on a roadtrip, not knowing what horrors awaits her.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power

Young adult. Over a year ago, the Raxter School for Girls was hit by the Tox, a strange disease that killed off many and left the survivors’ bodies slowly changing in terrifying ways. The island the school is on has been in quarantine since then, and the girls dare not leave the school grounds lest they become victims of wild animals changed by the Tox. But as they wait for the promised cure, one of the girls goes missing, and her friends are willing to do anything to find her. Unsettling, spooky, and sapphic, this is a unique read featuring body horror and messy, dangerous girls.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

Once, Andy, Kerri, Nate, Peter and their faithful dog were known as the Blyton Summer Detective Club, until they hit their fateful final case in 1977. Now, the year is 1990, and the group hasn't gathered in years. Tomboy Andy is wanted in at least two states; Kerri, former kid genius, is tending bar; and horror nerd Nate is in a mental institution in Arkham. At least he still has the company of jock-turned-movie star Peter - except Peter has been dead for years. Now they must all come together to find out the truth of what happened all those years ago. Lovecraftian horror with a sometimes absurdist vibe and adult scooby do inspiration. Sapphic romance.

Contagion by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something… monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn’t show up until book two, which has more romance).

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand*

Young adult. The isolated island of Sawkill Rock has secrets. It hosts the legend of a local monster, and the very stark reality of decades of girls going missing, never to be found again. Now, three girls stand at the center of the horrific mystery - if only they can come together, perhaps they can save future generations of girls from a monster that may very well be real. Asexual and sapphic main characters, including a sapphic romance.

Salvation Day by Kali Wallace

A decade ago, the massive ship House of Wisdom was abandoned in orbit after its entire crew was killed in an outbreak in a matter of hours. Now, Zahra and her family of outcasts hope to claim the ship as their own by kidnapping the sole survivor to gain access. But the danger of the House of Wisdom is far from gone. Horror, no major romance but one of the main characters is gay.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unstintingly claustrophobic books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves. Sapphic in the most messy of ways.

Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb series) by Tamsyn Muir*

Gideon, raised as a swordswoman by unfriendly nuns, would rather run away and make her own life, but her services are needed. The Reverend Daughter, Gideon’s childhood nemesis, has been invited to a trial to win a place as an immortal by the Emperor’s side, and she’s in need of a bodyguard. Listen, if you’re on tumblr I probably don’t need to explain this book to you. Trust me when I say it’s exactly as good as people claim. Humorous and spooky but also absolutely gut wrenching and clever with a lot of political commentary. There are also, indeed, lesbian necromancers in space.

Family Business by Jonathan Sims

By the author behind the Magnus Archives. When Diya's childhood best friend and roommate unexpectedly passes away, Diya falls apart and, among other things, loses her job. When she's offered a position at Slough & Sons to clean up after the deceased, she sees no other recourse but to accept. Her new job is grisly but important, and Diya starts to get back on her feet - until strange visions of a terrifying man and the dead's last moments start to haunt her. Slough & Sons are hiding something, and it's up to Diya to find out the truth. No romance, bisexual main character and trans woman side character.

Sodom Road Exit by Amber Dawn

Starla didn't want to return to her childhood home of Crystal Beach, Canada, but growing debt has forced her to move back in with her mother, despite the trauma hidden in her old home. But Starla is haunted by more than trauma; she is, in fact, literally haunted, by a ghost that may understand her, but may also consume her. Not overly scary, but handles dark subjects such as childhood sexual assault. Lesbian main character and romance.

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson*

In a world where the rich drink blood to preserve their health, Marion applies to a position as bloodmaid in a notorious noble house far from home. Suddenly showered with luxuries and debauchery, Marion soon gains the interest and favor of Lisavet, countess of the house. A fresh take on the idea of vampires and deliciously dark sapphic romance inspired by the horrific real-life Elisabet Báthory.

A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson

Dracula inspired novella, following Constanta, who’s turned from a medieval peasant to an undead bride. As time passes the relationship between Dracula and Constanta grows all the more strained and potentially dangerous. Teaming up with his two other consorts, she seeks to unravel her husband’s secrets. Sapphic and polyamorous.

Dread Nation (Dread Nation duology) by Justina Ireland

Young adult, alternate history. In this world, the war between the American states is interrupted when the dead start walking the earth and hunting the living. Jane McKeene has been trained at Miss Preston’s School of Combat to become an attendant, skilled in combat as well as etiquette to protect the wealthy. But Jane wants a different life, and in her search for it stumbles headfirst into a conspiracy. Bisexual main character, aroace side character (who becomes a POV character in the sequel).

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

In a future where those with high testosterone are afflicted by a zombie-like disease, bloodthirsty men have become the enemy. Trans women Beth and Fran and trans man Robbie do their best to survive in this brutal world, where TERF movements seek to exterminate them and monstrous men hunt in the wilds. VERY gruesome and bleak, but also very timely in the present political climate.

Leech by Hiron Ennes*

Unbeknownst to humanity, a sentient hive mind has taken over the entire medical profession to ensure the health of their host species. One of their doctors is sent off to an isolated location where they’re cut off from the rest of the hive mind, only to realize they’re faced with a rivaling parasitic entity. Leech hands you only just enough information to get by, and whether its historical fantasy, an alternate timeline, or futuristic post apocalypse is hard to determine. It’s spooky and a bit weird and wildly creative, and does some neat things with gender.

The Outside by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existential crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired sci-fi where reality is warped and artificial gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

The Gilded Abyss by Rebecca Thorne

Nix Marr is a soldier and damned good at it, but that doesn’t prepare her for her next mission: bodyguard for Subarch Kessandra, beloved royal and Nix’s bitter ex. The two venture toward the underwater city of Fall to seek the cause of a bloody murder spree and a possible deadly contagion. But Kessandra has enemies, the answers she seeks marking her as a possible threat for the nation’s rulers. On their way in an isolated and enclosed underwater ship toward Fall, the contagion catches up, and Nix will have to put her hurt feelings aside if the two are to arrive alive. Sci-fi with flavors of horror and the supernatural and a sapphic romance.

[dozyisdead]

I’ve never really thought about how lonely it must be to be a “First” until I got into F1. I’d like to explore that a little bit with you guys if you don’t mind.

1. Sir Lewis Hamilton

We all know what makes him a First, but there’s layers to it. Lewis is the First Black driver, First Black point scorer, First Black race winner, First Black championship winner. He is a lot of Firsts, and he’s set and broken so many records, he’s become so decorated. He’s a master of his craft, but that is where it gets lonely. I don’t know if many realize it, but racism is rampant in the world, despite how many will deny it, and it’s very rampant in Europe. Yes, I can’t speak much as an American, but at the same time we do not deny it and try to hide it so vehemently as some of Europe does. And in that world Lewis has talked about being called racial slurs from a young age, when he was still in karting. There’s a specific interview I keep thinking of, and it breaks my heart every time I think of it. Lewis has been set alone from the second he started, and he has never been to blame for it. But him being a First has become so Important, and I know he has people that make it known that he is not alone.

2. Zhou Guanyu

I don’t think people realize this, But Zhou is the first and only Chinese F1 driver to ever race. He has become a pillar of movement in that act, in a way like Lewis. I know there are obvious differences in their positions, but it’s still a monumental feat. We have know that F1 is dominated by Europeans, and yes there have been asian drivers before him, but to be the First for your country? It’s a position filled with pressure and can often be isolating, especially when you take language and culture into consideration. Not only is he one of two Asian drivers on the grid, he’s the only one who speaks his language. And I’m speaking from the perspective of someone who’s learning other languages when I say English is hell to learn. It’s my first language and I do not understand it at all, I can’t imagine how hard it is for someone who’s uses completely different characters like Yuki or Zhou. But Zhou, he is loved, and I wish people would acknowledge the steps he has made as a First, as someone who opened a door for others.

3. Logan Sargeant

The first American on the gird to score points in over 30 years. Yes, there had been other American drivers since Andretti’s 1993 season, Scott Speed and Alexander Rossi, but they did not score points. There’s actually something that I would like to point out regarding one of his predecessors, Mr. Speed, as they both completed a season and a half. But, that’s beside the point. Logan, be the first in a long time, in this century, is a lonely thing. There’s other drivers who I think can attest to that, but I feel like it’s a very unique thing, especially when you come from a place where something like F1 isn’t as big as say NASCAR, or even Indy. It’s a little film of separation that you can feel, no matter if it’s as thin as a spider web.

4. Ralf Schumacher

The First openly homosexual former driver who raced in F1, it’s a beautiful feeling to know he’s become comfortable enough to share it. I can imagine the hell it caused him mentally and emotionally to be in such a position that made it to where every moment could be taken out of context. And I would like to point out the impact he made, by not revealing it until later. The fact that we knew him first as a good driver and not as “the gay man in F1” is so important and people might not understand that. He is a First of ground-shaking proportions, and I sometimes wish we could have known sooner, but I also understand him so well. I’m the first openly queer person in my family, and as the first openly queer person in a partially south asian family, it’s terrifying. I can’t imagine how it would have been for him, in what we call the peak of motorsports, in a sport that has so much distaste for even women participating, if someone who was queer was to try. He has put himself on a pedestal that shows others that it’s okay to exist in that world, not just drive. You, Ralf Schumacher, have done so much more than you can think.

There are MANY more, I know, but those three have stood out to me recently. Everyone has their own little pedestal that they stand on, that shows how unique they are, but there is nothing quite like a First. I have so much love for all of these men, and so much joy and sorrow for them.

Being a First is lonely, I know it well and I have learned it well, but when you are in a sport that gives you no privacy like F1, it becomes even lonelier. They are human, and as other Firsts in our own lives and worlds, we must not forget that.

[delusionalwritingsofagay]

Heloooo!

I'm really happy I found your blog we need more male reader writers🫶🥲

I'm here to request a oneshot for Tyrion Lannister from game of thrones who is very close friends with the reader (ftm or not your choice) but he slowly starts realizing he feels more than friendship towards him.

Like the reader is Tyrions gay awakening if you will😌

Love what you do, you're doing a great job lots of love💖

Beneath the Shadows of Kings

Pairing : Tyrion Lannister x Male reader Tags: Getting together, Fluff, Friends to lovers Word count : 923 Y/n: Your name  L/n: your last name

The flickering candlelight cast dancing shadows across the dimly lit chamber, where Tyrion Lannister sat hunched over his small writing desk, quill poised in hand. The scratch of ink on parchment was a familiar sound, but tonight, it felt insufficient to distract his restless thoughts. He missed Y/N —his laughter, his insight, the way he  brought light into the dreary halls..

Their  friendship had blossomed in this dark place, forged in shared wit and mutual understanding. Y/N  had been a source of strength for Tyrion during his darkest days, a friend who saw beyond the legacy of a Lannister name. Y/N  had listened to his countless tales, never judging, never looking down on him. Rather, He encouraged him, making him feel seen in a way that few others did.

On this particular evening, he had requested the other man's  company after a taxing day filled with political manoeuvrings and veiled threats. He often found solace in Y/N presence, but tonight, as he waited for his to arrive, a different kind of tension filled the air—one he couldn’t quite place.

The door creaked open, interrupting his thoughts. There Y/N stood, an inviting smile lighting up his face, eyes shimmering with a warmth that always made him feel at home. "I thought you were going to drown yourself in ink tonight, my lord,” Y/N teased, stepping into the room.

“Ah, but the ink has a tendency to run dry, unlike the conversation with a good friend,” Tyrion replied with a smirk, setting the quill aside. He motioned for Y/N  to sit on the chair opposite him. “But I suppose I have some red wine nearby. Perhaps that would be a better companion for our evening?”

Y/N  settled into the chair, his presence filling the room with an energy that Tyrion relished. “You know I wouldn’t argue against a glass or two of your finest,” Y/N said playfully, and Tyrion scoffed, pouring a generous amount into two goblets.

They clinked together, and They  both brought their goblets to their lips, drinking deeply, a silent toast to camaraderie shared amidst a brutal world.

As the wine flowed, so too did the conversation—stories of their past adventures, shared laughter, and subtle glances that lingered just a moment too long. The way Y/N  spoke, His hands gesturing in wide arcs, his expressions shifting from mirth to earnestness—it struck something deep within Tyrion.

“This world is a cruel and senseless place, isn’t it?” Y/N mused, his tone reflecting on the darker sides of politics. “But amidst that chaos, we endure, we find joy in small things, like...” His voice trailed off as his gaze caught Tyrion's It was a simple silence, yet it resounded louder than the words that often peppered their conversations.

Tyrion found himself lost in those eyes. They were like pools of endless possibility—a light amid the darkness. He realised in that moment that his feelings had shifted, deepened in ways he couldn’t yet fully comprehend. The laughter they shared now felt laced with something greater, something that tethered his heart to Y/N.

"You are a rare light in this dismal place," he finally said, his voice softer, the words almost a confession. "More precious than gold or title."

Y/N tilted his head, the corners of his mouth curling into a soft smile, and the warmth his  presence brought ignited something deep inside him—something frightening yet intoxicating.

“Isn’t that what friends are for?” Y/N  replied gently, but Tyrion could sense the way the other man’s pulse quickened, the way his breath hitched ever so slightly.

“No, it’s more than that,” he pressed, leaning forward, the atmosphere heavy with unspoken tension. “You’ve become… integral to my life. Someone I rely on, someone I want at my side, not just as a friend, but as something more.”

Y/N expression shifted, surprise momentarily flickering across his face, quickly replaced by understanding. “Tyrion...” he began, but Tyrion cut him off.

“Please, allow me this—these feelings, they’ve been gathering like storm clouds in my heart,” he confessed, his voice trembling, raw with sincerity. “I’ve tried to ignore them, buried them beneath laughter and jest, but I cannot anymore. You are more than a friend to me; you are…”

His voice faltered. The silence swelled like the tide, pulling him closer to the edge of vulnerability. Y/N took a deep breath, and then, to Tyrion’s surprise, Y/N reached across the table, his fingers brushing lightly against the dwarfs .

“I feel it too,” Y/N whispered, eyes shining with a mix of emotion that resonated with him. “But in a world like this… could we…?”

“Could we dare?” Tyrion finished, a spark of hope igniting between them . “I have long been a fool in my life; I will not be a fool where my heart is concerned.”

In the flickering candlelight, with the shadows of kings looming just outside yet feeling far away, Y/N leaned closer, his warmth enveloping Tyrion. “Then let’s not be fools together,” Y/N said softly, His lips curving into a smile that spoke of possibility.

Time seemed to freeze as Tyrion closed the distance between them, and in that moment, amidst the chaos of the world outside, they both took the first steps into uncharted territory together.

As Their lips met, all political alliances and family expectations faded into the background, leaving only the promise of what could be, a bond forged not merely from friendship, but something richer, more profound.

[blossoms-phan]

Hi! I am a X escapee relatively recent Dan & Phil returnee who loves your posts, you seem so reasonable. I have just been given what felt like a 90 min presentation detailing how my innocent assumption that Dan and Phil were anything other than platonic housemates was incorrect and offensive.

The lecture i was given included every reference that highlighted, amongst other things: their "obvious" separate bedrooms, bathrooms, towels, angles of items shown in bedrooms, closets, mentions of wanting to go out and meet other men, lack of real concern (X words, not mine) at each others medical emergencies and every use of bro and friend that they have said post hiatus. It was very detailed, they were very insistent and I was very apologetic. I decided to flee the X hostility and head back to tumblr, but here everyone appears to think they are together. So now I am confused and don't want to offend a whole new group of people.

I think what set the X people off was i said "partner" as I was under the, I now know, incorrect impression that they went public years ago. Oops. Don't trust the internet is what I have learned from this. I thought all this drama would have died out long ago, but I assume this is a topic to stay far away from still? Thanks

hi anon! first of all, thank you for saying that (still can’t believe I’ve garnered enough attention on here that people specifically like my posts!), I really appreciate it. second of all imma be so real with you I am a person that still primarily refers to “X” as twitter bc I refuse to get with the times so this greatly confused me until I realized there was only one possible platform with those kind of people you could be talking about. i’m sorry you endured that exhausting sounding lecture and welcome you to phannie tumblr with open arms 🫶

i am here to gently reassure you that you can take what dnp say and do and show and form your own opinions about it, don’t let anyone tell you you’re right or wrong for drawing conclusions or making assumptions. however I will also be so bold and tell you why that individual is so blatantly wrong and maybe clear some of your confusion.

first of all, i think dnp would refer to themselves as anything but "platonic housemates." it all comes back to this but i dare someone to look me in the eyes and be so fr when saying that just because they've never stated in words "we're dating/boyfriends/partners etc" the simple fact that they share a mortgage on a "forever home" together, (according to them) spend literally all their time together, are partners in work/life/play (vacations), share families (dan being uncle to phil's niece) implies anything other than them being life partners. i'd also like to draw attention back to possibly the most blatantly open statement either of them has made about the nature of their relationship, in dan's video titled "basically i'm gay" where he describes them as "actual soulmates" and more. there are lots of people who have been discussing/answering posts about the concept of a "hard launch" recently which i could direct you to and i am of the mind that there's nothing wrong with conceptualizing the idea of a hard launch or them being more open to sharing details of their romantic relationship to an extent, but BIG is the most profound public statement of the nature of their relationship and, in my humble opinion, "the" hard launch as dan QUITE LITERALLY says "more than just romantic" and goes on to say he and phil are private people and that that's all he will say of it for now (keep in mind it's been 5 years since this statement- still relevant but minds can change, specifically theirs in terms of what they feel more comfortable and open sharing in a post-comeback world)

now moving on to the "references" you mentioned. again, highlighting literally any of this as "proof" that they are just friends or whatever is utterly ridiculous but i'll still go through it for funsies. i'd like to challenge this person that claims they have "obvious" seperate bedrooms by saying... what is so obvious about it?? dnp are highly aware that whatever they share with us will be analyzed or viewed under a microscope, so obviously they've carefully chosen which parts of the phouse to show us and they're not going to be like oh yeah this is OUR bedroom where we sleep TOGETHER every night. now i'm aware that yes, the "black" bedroom with dan's closet is more obviously a dan room that has been claimed as "his" bedroom. can't find it to link rn but they have posted a photo of the shelf of that room and while it is mostly dan stuff on the shelves, there was also a photo of phil's family and some of phil's books and items on the shelves. storage? sure, but if someone wants to claim that makes it so obviously dan's room then i can say that having phil's stuff in there could also point to them sharing the space. the room that phil films amazingphil videos in has been called a guest room/bed by them both, and in terms of rooms we've seen that just leaves the green room. imho everything points towards this being another guest room/possibly a room for family specifically to stay when they come- iirc nothing has been said to claim this as phil's room other than the fact that there is a painting by his dad and he occasionally films in there. i'm not going to pretend to know the ins and outs of their sleeping arrangements, but i think for two adults that own a huge house together and spend a lot of time together and have a lot of their own things it's perfectly reasonable to have "separate" bedrooms, multiple bathrooms/their own towels (?? i don't get this one i assume they're referring to the part of the golden pig video but like. obviously they have their own towels wtf lmao) and utter those things more on camera and then sleep together/share spaces in their own time.

once again, dan and phil know what they're doing. they are in control of what they show and share. calling each other "bro" and "friend" is an intentional choice and very much second nature at this point after doing it on camera for years. also it's not wrong or implies that they aren't romantic- i am of the opinion that they are friends first and they know that too. however, in a post-hiatus/comeback world, it almost feels pointed at this point. like a joke. a wink wink, nudge nudge, look-to-camera "we know you know" thing that they're keeping going just because they can.

in terms of the "going out and meeting other men" bit i assume they refer to jokes made by dan in the wad era? again, i'm not going to dive deep into this but dan is a comedian and post-coming out, wad and those other shows were the first time in his life he was able to be openly, unapologetically gay and himself and i think he was allowed to make a few grindr jokes for the fun of it. if dan values privacy in terms of his personal life, i highly doubt he would go around telling everyone he was hooking up with dudes- these are jokes plain and simple. but if you're interested @freckliedan has a wonderful post about dnp and the concept of monogamy/them sleeping with other people that i don't entirely disagree with and that is worded much better than i ever could so. i'd also like to talk to this person bc in what fucking world have they EVER shown a "lack of concern" at each others medical emergencies????? this is possibly the most baffling claim out of all of these to me. dan could not have made it more clear how scared/worried/traumatized he was by phil literally almost dying recently, and there have been more instances than i can count of him just being there for phil during all of his more recent health issues/scares. if this is referring to the eye incident, again i'm not going to pretend i know all the ins and outs of their relationship bc i don't- we know what they tell us. literally everything about this they said in a joking way, i don't know why people got their panties in a bunch- phil sending dan alone doesn't mean he doesn't care about him or anything, i honestly don't think he wouldn't have been much help going and i think they both kind of knew this, they were just playing it up to be a funny anecdote because they're entertainers. it's what they do. they've been making stories out of their lives for 15 years.

this is getting far too long and rambley as i don't know how to rein in my yapping when responding to asks but. i promise you're fine. discussing their relationship isn't "drama" or some forbidden thing, it happens on here a lot actually. except you will find most people on here use critical thinking and what dan and phil knowingly share with us, as adults with brains, to draw conclusions about their relationship based on everything from the way they look at each other to the little ways they tell us they care about and love each other bc they do. and that's not something they shy from now. come join us! don't let people tell you you're wrong for thinking they're partners bc in the nicest way possible, they literally are (if you want to sugarcoat it and say life partners instead of romantic go ahead bc they've literally described themselves as companions through life which is a more poetic way of saying partners imo) and respectfully anyone who thinks otherwise is in denial at this point

[youngsadlesbian]

BABY'S FIRST GAY PANIC (PART 2) — carina deluca and maya bishop.

pairing: carina deluca x maya bishop x daughter!reader

summary: you start enjoying going to the hospital again and it doesn't take long for your mothers to find out why.

a/n: @sad-x3 asked me for a part 2 of this and here it is. i don't know if i followed the path she wanted, but that's okay. hope you like it! english is not my first language so i’m sorry for any mistakes, guys.

word count: 1,3k

warnings: kinda angst but then fluff in the end, maya being stupid and the most doting mother in the world <3

You loved spending time with your Aunt Amelia at the hospital because she always found a way to let you watch some surgery she was doing, because you were her favorite niece and she did everything you asked.

But there were no surgeries today. Amelia was in the emergency room treating several patients who appeared to be suffering from the same severe headache. Bored and also having a bad headache from the flu, you sat on the floor of the infirmary while putting on your headphones to listen to Taylor Swift. You didn't notice the presence of a teenage girl behind you until she was tapped on the shoulder.

"Do you like Taylor Swift?" That was Nurse Hernandez's daughter who was at the hospital every day after she got out of school. You had seen her there several times during your life.

"Yes, I'm listening to Evermore." You walked away so the girl sat next to you. "What can we say that..."

"He's Folklore's brother." She smiled. And what a smile. "My name is Elena. You are the daughter of Doctor DeLuca and Captain Bishop, right?"

"Yes, but most people just call me Y/n." Elena rolled her eyes. "Want to listen to the album with me?"

"Of course."

You spent hours on end listening to all of Taylor Swift's albums, and when your phone died, you simply talked about anything that came to mind. You discovered that Elena was a really nice girl and you had a similar vibe, which made you automatically enjoy her company. When your aunt looked for you hours later, she caught you laughing like there was no tomorrow with Elena and was almost sorry to end the moment between you.

"Y/n/n, your mom is already going home." You waved goodbye to Elena and went after your mother with Amelia.

It didn't go unnoticed by Carina that you seemed happier and more excited since the morning, she made a mental note to mention this to her wife later. Normally you talked a lot in the car, but this time you were so busy with your phone that it blinked every second with a new notification that she preferred not to interrupt.

At some point you got over your crush on Julie because it was replaced by a huge crush on Elena. You two had become great friends, talking practically all day through messages about anything. It was with you that Elena shared that she had finally had her first kiss.

You fell asleep right after taking your medicine, which really made you sleepy, but not before practically begging your mother to take you to the hospital again.

Teenagers really were very weird.

You were very grumpy after this information, but she made some joke and changed the subject when she noticed your discomfort.

Every possible opportunity to stay at home you used to go to the hospital. At this point, your mother Carina already knew about Elena's existence and thought your friendship with the girl was cute.

Maya hated it. She felt that there was something more between you two and to her you were still a baby. And of course, she was right.

You didn't have a completely platonic relationship. At least not since you decided to admit that you liked her more than just a friend and she confessed that she felt something more too. You never kissed or anything like that out of pure insecurity, but that was about to change.

Heavy rain in Seattle caused part of your school's roof to collapse, leaving all students home for three days until the repairs were finally completed.

Your mother was having surgery that would take a few hours, so you decided to take shelter with Elena in her office. You don't remember exactly what turn your conversation took and made you and Elena start kissing. Much less did you remember when your mothers entered the office and caught you in a compromising position.

"I told you, Carina!" Your mother Maya screamed. You distanced yourself as much as possible from Elena, wiping your face stained by her red lipstick. "There was no way this was platonic."

"Bella, we'll deal with this later. Elena, your mother is looking for you to go home." You ran to Elena and shook her hand before she finally left. That only seemed to increase Maya's anger, scaring you so that you cowered even more on the floor.

Carina approached you and touched your head.

"Bambina, look at me."

"Mamma Maya è arrabbiata con me." You had a habit of speaking Italian when you were nervous. Maya felt her heart tighten with regret for once again letting her anger get the best of her.

"Let me deal with Mamma Maya, ok bambina?" You shook your head and looked at your mother. Your eyes were teary and there were still traces of lipstick on your face. "There's the most beautiful girl in the world. Is Elena your girlfriend?"

"No, mamma. But I really wanted this."

"You're not old enough to date, Y/n DeLuca-Bishop!" Maya shouted. "You need to focus on your studies and nothing else."

"Bella, leave me alone with her." Carina gave her best I think you'd better obey me look when Maya resisted her request. The firefighter left the office in a huff. "Don't listen to what your mother said. If you're happy, I'm happy. Now let's go home."

You didn't talk to any of your mothers the whole way, even though Carina tried to start a conversation. Maya was so angry and you were so afraid that she would freak out and send you to the other side of the world just to get away from Elena that it hurt deeply.

Dinner was also eaten in silence and with you trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Carina wanted to hit Maya hard when she noticed this.

You retired early saying you needed to finish some homework. Only then did Carina let all her frustration out.

"Your daughter needs your support, you idiot!" Carina frantically hit Maya on the shoulder, who tried to free herself from her wife without success. "Sei incredibile, Maya Bishop!"

"I know I overreacted..."

"Overreacted? You were terrible. I think you better fix this before it gets worse."

That's what Maya did. Before knocking on your bedroom door she heard you sniffle and felt like the worst mother in the world.

Maya took a deep breath and knocked twice on your door.

"Y/n/n, it's mom." Maya heard the sound of some things falling before you finally responded.

"Go away."

Then you cried. You cried because you felt like you let your mother down and you felt like she didn't love you anymore and mainly because you were afraid of her forcing you to stay away from Elena.

"I'm sorry, honey. I was too extreme. I'm still learning, you know?" You opened the door a crack and she saw one of your brown eyes staring deeply at her. "I'm still learning how to be a good mother and sometimes I feel like I'm not."

"You are, mom. You're good at so many things but you're the best as being my mom. I was just scared that I let you down."

"You would never be capable of that, little bee. Even if you committed a crime I still think it would be impossible to disappoint me." You opened the door and your mother saw how wrecked you were. Hair standing on end and face swollen from crying. "Come here and hug mommy, please?"

You hugged her and then everything was fine. Because Maya really was bad at a lot of things and hard-headed about pretty much everything, but she was the best mother you could ask for.

[ladykailitha]

Grief ( A Friend Indeed) Part 11

Here we finally get the singing love songs at each other, a misunderstanding, and it's resolution. The next chapter is the last one. Thank you all who've come along with me on this journey.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

****

Steve woke up the next morning feeling like the world had been taken off his shoulders for the first time since he ran back into the Byers’ house and throw his lot in with would-be monster killers.

Yeah, the thing with Hopper still hadn’t been resolved and maybe never would be, but he had someone who understood. Eddie understood.

The next few days went without incident. Steve still talked to Robin whenever he could, but now he had someone else to talk to, too. He called Percy as well.

But that was reserved for when Eddie wasn’t around. He wanted to talk to someone about being in an gay relationship. And even without knowing Eddie’s romantic history, there was still no doubt that Percy had way more experience than his friend.

It felt good.

Soon it was their last night in Ashland and they were all at Hal’s Bar. Penny, Danny, Wayne, too. Oliver was watching Gale while everyone else went out.

Granted he had only agreed to babysit if Penny and Danny bought him a Nintendo system for his birthday, but it was still nice.

Danny got up and sang Donovan’s Sunshine Superman to Penny, who laughed.

“I’ll tell you right now,” Danny sang, “Any trick in the book now, baby, all that I can find!”

Steve laughed along with her but he couldn’t help but think of Eddie when he heard the lyrics “A you-you-you can just sit there a-thinking on your velvet throne, Bout all the rainbows a-you can a-have for your own, when you make your mind up forever to be mine!”

That silly little throne he insisted on having at every D&D game, that finally Steve got Dustin and Lucas to help him steal it from the drama department when Eddie graduated and install it in Steve’s basement so that he could continue to be King of the Freaks.

Eddie had nearly cried when he saw it. As far as graduation presents go, it really couldn’t be topped.

Steve shared a glance with Eddie who blushed. And maybe they were thinking of the same thing.

They even got Wayne up there to sing House of the Rising Sun.

Steve nudged Eddie with his elbow. “And you said he couldn’t carry a tune. I think he did a bang up job with that one,” he teased.

Eddie grumbled something about hiding talents under bushes or some such shit.

Steve got up and sang “Head Over Heels”.

Just belted his heart out.

*

Eddie and Lauren were sitting there sipping their drinks, Hal, having gave Eddie a bottle of beer since his birthday was so close and Lauren sipping on her Dr Pepper.

“So did you hear that Steve turned down Beth of all people?” Lauren said with derision.

Eddie smiled around his beer. “Oh yeah, but Steve was never gonna tap that, even under more ideal circumstances than attending a funeral.”

“Yeah, why’s that?” she asked.

“His type is leggy brunettes with soulful eyes and curly brown hair,” he said with a smirk.

Lauren turned to Eddie in shock. “So he really would have changed the pronouns that first night if he hadn’t thought that the crowd would shank him outside the bar after.”

“Yup!”

“Holy shit!” She downed the rest of her soda. “Which means the person he has chance with...”

“Is from home, but not at home at the moment?” he teased. “Oh yeah. No doubt he was talking about me.”

“Wait,” Lauren hissed. “How did you know that’s what he said?”

“I may have overheard the conversation on my way to the bathroom,” he admitted with a wince.

She smacked his arm. “You sly dog! You’ve known this whole time and didn’t tell me!”

“It wasn’t my place to tell,” Eddie defended. “He hasn’t even told me she was the reason he wanted to get out of town in the first place.”

She eyed him warily. “Fine.” Lauren crossed her arms over her chest.

“Fine?” he asked, unsure.

“Yeah, it sucks,” she said. “But I get it.”

She looked up at Steve who was finishing the song. “That song is also about you.”

“In my mind’s eye, one little boy, one little man. Funny how time flies,” Steve crooned.

Eddie grinned. “Yeah, I know that too.”

“Go get ‘em, tiger,” Lauren said.

Eddie got up and gave Steve a hug as they passed each other. Hal had already hooked up the amp so Eddie could play.

He grabbed the guitar and put the strap over his shoulder. “Hey, guys! I have one more song for you before I go back to Indiana.”

“Mh-hm-hmm, yeah, yeah,” Eddie began. “Holy Diver. You’ve been down too long in the midnight sea. Oh what’s be coming of me?”

Steve blushed.

Lauren tilted her head to look at him and then back at Eddie on stage. There was something about the song Eddie was singing that got Steve embarrassed.

Well, maybe that wasn’t the right word. Flustered? That might be closer to the mark.

“Holy diver!” Eddie continued to sing. “You’re the star of the masquerade. No need to look afraid!”

A few minutes later the song was over with and was absolutely star struck.

When Eddie loped back over to their table Steve said, “Dude, you really should be famous for your playing.”

Eddie grinned. “But not my singing, right?”

Steve pushed him playfully. “For that too, drama queen.”

Eddie cackled and sat back down.

Steve watched as other patrons got up and sang too. None were as good as Eddie. But then he was pretty sure he was bias.

Eddie walked out with Steve and Lauren at ten despite being told he was welcome to stay.

“So what’s the deal with Wayne and Hal?” Steve asked. “They spent the whole night huddled in that corner booth.”

Eddie laughed. “Hal and Wayne go way back. Since Uncle Danny and Aunt Penny got married. They’ve been inseparable.”

Steve just hummed.

Lauren looked at him. “What’s up?”

Steve scratched his cheek. “It’s just that if either of them had been a woman, it would have looked they were trying to change their last name.”

Lauren and Eddie frowned unsure of what he meant but Lauren caught on first.

“You thought they were flirting?” she gasped.

Steve shrugged. “One of my uncles is gay and if I hadn’t seen them act the same way as Wayne and Hal...”

Eddie stopped in his tracks and then burst out laughing.

“That sly dog!” Eddie crowed. “That’s what he meant when he said that he understood me better than I thought he did when I came out to him when I was sixteen.”

Lauren’s eyes went wide. “I have two gay uncles?”

Steve laughed too. “I didn’t mean to rock your world.”

Lauren looked back at the bar. “I think I know how to get Hal to bend the rules for me.”

Eddie smacked her hand. “No blackmailing Uncle Wayne’s boyfriend. That’s mean.”

Lauren pouted. “Fiiinnnne.” She grinned. “Does that mean I can blackmail Uncle Wayne?”

“No!” Steve protested. “Absolutely not!”

Eddie giggled. “Uh-huh, you got him to use his mom no. You’re in so much trouble now.”

“I do not have a mom no,” Steve protested. “Don’t listen to him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Eddie cackled. “It’s the same no you used with Red in her trailer.”

Steve’s jaw dropped. “Well, shit.” He turned to Lauren. “Apparently I have a mom no.”

She laughed.

Steve was really going to miss her. Maybe he could convince her to come out later this summer, too.

*

Eddie was not having a good morning. He couldn’t find his Metallica shirt, tore up the whole room looking for it, only for Wayne to point out he was wearing it.

And then he spilled hot coffee on his pants and to change them.

Then the tarp they were going to use to cover the furniture they got was ripped in three places. So Danny had too take Wayne to buy a new one, because the one he had was too small.

So they were late getting out. The skies were darkening and a huge storm was rolling in.

Cue one very grumpy Eddie.

Steve wasn’t fairing much better but that was more that he wasn’t fully awake yet.

“I’ve got to go with Wayne,” Eddie grumbled. “I see you at the truck station we stopped on the way down, k?”

Steve nodded, his lips pursed. “Got it. See you then.”

Eddie nodded and trudged back to the truck.

Wayne wisely said nothing and they both slid into the cab of the truck.

“Your boy going to find the truck stop okay?” he asked to break the oppressive silence.

“He’s not my boy,” Eddie grumbled. “Not yet anyway.”

They started driving and Wayne looked in the review mirror to make sure Steve was following him.

He frowned. “Is he okay?”

Eddie looked back at the Bimmer and saw that Steve was hitting the steering wheel, waving his arms about and he couldn’t be sure. Not at this distance. But it looked like he was crying.

“Shit!” he cursed. “Stop the truck!”

Wayne slammed on his breaks and Eddie threw open the door and ran back.

About half way to Steve’s car the skies opened up and just pummeled the earth with rain.

Eddie picked up speed and yanked the passenger side door open. He hurried in and slammed the door.

“Eds?” Steve croaked confirming the crying as easily as the tears on his face. “What–how–I mean...”

Eddie grabbed his face and gently wiped away his tears. “You seem to be laboring under some misconceptions out here. So I’m going to clue you in.”

Steve blinked. “Huh?”

“One, I have go with Wayne to keep an on the tarp over the heavy furniture,” Eddie explained, hands never leaving Steve’s cheeks. “He needs a second person as a spotter to make sure nothing flies into traffic.”

Steve gulped. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” Eddie said firmly. “Two, I would much rather be in this car with you. Getting to spend this week with you have been amazing because I got to know you better and I loved that. I love just being with you.”

“Oh,” Steve said, his breath stuttering in his chest.

“Yeah, oh,” Eddie said. “And you better listen up to this bit, Steve Harrington, because I’m going to make this a clear to you as I can. I am absolutely head over heels in love you.”

“Oh.”

“So what’s going to happen,” Eddie finished, “is this. I’m going to kiss you senseless, then I’m going to run back to Wayne’s truck in the fucking rain because the weather decided to be a bigger dramatic bitch then I am, and then I will meet you at the truck stop to repeat step one a lot.”

Steve face shivered into something like happiness. It wasn’t a smile, not yet, but Eddie could feel the change of mood.

“That okay with you?” Eddie confirmed.

Steve smiled at last banishing the last of the gloomy thoughts. “Yeah.”

“Good,” Eddie said and proceeded to kiss Steve senseless.

“Wow,” Steve murmured when they broke of the kiss.

Eddie cackled. “Back 'atcha, Stevie.”

“You better get back to Wayne, before you flood the cab of his truck because you left your door open.”

Eddie turned in front of him. “Oops! See you, sweetheart!” He kissed Steve’s cheek and was dashing back into the rain, jacket pulled over his head.

He got to the truck and slipped back in. The seat was wet, but so was his pants so it really didn’t fucking matter at that point.

“So you still wanna argue he’s not your boy?” Wayne asked with a smile.

“Nope.” Eddie just crossed his arms and hunkered down on the bench.

“You not going to tell me about what just happened?”

Eddie looked at him, grinning from ear to ear. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

Wayne shook his head and started driving again. This time Steve immediately followed.

****

Pt 12

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