#i have a lot of dice and i dont want these ones anymore. its so boringsmall
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if i was getting rid of some of my dice collection that i dont want anymore and had em up on ebay. woug you guys go checkem out
#popular blogs post about selling their old clothes and stuff but i feel this is silly to even mention . its just some dice#i have a lot of dice and i dont want these ones anymore. its so boringsmall#theyre just sort of normal regular.#nothing crazey#my bemoanings
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loved your shu headcanons!! i love how much thought you put into them <3 can’t wait for the laito version hehe
— laito headcanons!
hii, omg ty for enjoying this little series and liked my art! i really appreciatiate it!!
to begin with, i have a litle post as a warning for laito headcanons, bc for me, laito is one of the most complex and difficult characters to undertands, so he is so much more than a perverted character and a leg lover (anime laito is terrible guys 💀💀)
tw: this post contains nsfw (+18)!!! if you dont like that content dont read it!
his looks and selfcare
i think laito is a man that do care for his appearence, he ofc takes multiple showers in a week and loves to smell good, he often buy new perfumes with different scents just bc he loves it.
but unlike reiji, laito does not spend too much time doing skin care, he uses is good and never ending facial soap, its a bar of soap, a mint one. and about his hair, he also uses the same shampoo and conditioner, with argan and a little herb scent. laito loves cold showers, but quick, he is not a man to take his time, he is fast and dont waste time. mostly bc i belive laito dont really like being naked... alone.
i think laito do use sunscreen, bc he wants to have good skin as he ages (even if he is a vampire, let the man belive it).
and sometimes when laito is down i do belive he uses concealer to cover his eyebags, this doesnt happen often but has happened in the past.
something laito enjoy about getting ready is his hair, he uses dry repair creams, hair texturizer and hair oils to keep his ends healthy.
and as for clothes, i belive laito likes soft colors and not so saturated, but not pastel colors! maybe bc i also belive that colors affect his vision, like when people dont like to see neon colors in sports clothes, thats laito but not only with neon colors, he doesnt like too flashy and explosive colors. actually he loves the color blue.
i think laito is aware of how handsome he is, laito has a marked jaw, a slightly upturned nose and slanted eyes with a seductive and cautious gaze, but as well, his gaze can turn into a penetrating and deep one, making everyone tremble for how intense his eyes are, and not tremble in a good way, laito is scary.
i think laito also has pretty lips, but a little detail i like too, is that laito used to bite the skin of his lips in his early teen ages, giving himself tiny wounds. but Reiji always told him to use lip balm to heal these same wounds, although this only happened at certain times of the year, or sometimes when laito past through a stressful situation. over time he has been able to realize and apply his lip balm in time, leaving laitos lips with a slight shine always, it became a habit that he maintains, even if laito dont bite the skin of his lips anymore.
i also think that he instead of exercising, laito prefers to do another type of physical movement, such as walking or running, he does not like to lift weight to get muscle since he sees it illogical if he has inhuman strength, this gives him strong legs and calves of steel, he always shows his calves as a pride for himself. that also give him a lot of stamina not just for his body, but also his mind. running seems to be a perfect way to clear laito's mind. but that does'nt take away the wide shoulders, it runs in the family.
a little detail i like is that laito might have more moles in his body, like one in his hand, other in his neck, another one in his calves, and his back! but he doesnt get to see those.
and finally, unlike his olders brothers, shu and reiji, laito can grow a beard but he does'nt like it, he feels old.
random stuff
so, its no secret laito loves games, but i think laito does not like online or digital games, he is more into the classic, ofc its pool and darts, but he also likes board games, dice, marbles and everything related to something physical, does not have much interest in the digital world.
as a said before, laito loves perfumes, does not use the same one for a long time and constantly buys the last ones on the market to try them, not all of them are to his taste but he enjoys to collect them, he likes the flashy bottles.
and as a plus to laito, i think he is more romantic than you think, how so? he totally has a poetry noteboook where he writes every little pretty and romantic feelings laito has, i like to think he also do this with weird dreams so he can't forget them.
oh, and laito has a sensitive tongue, no reason for it, he can't tolerate spicy food or too sweet / salty, he hates it, reiji makes special food for him sometimes so he can enjoy his cooking as well. laito appreciates this.
and as i said before with shu, laito is such a goosip as well, but he is a bad goosip, laito likes to know everything about someting or someone, just bc he thinks he has to know what he likes, completly. that's a reason he has more interaction with his bat relatives, so they can tell him everything.
i like to think that laito is really jealous, like a lot.
i think laito has a secret interest in humans and their way of living, specifically, he is interested in religious topics, he had read Bibles although he found them boring, so prefers to see them captured in movies, and it is even better when they have another meaning than something literal, such as a biblical reference like mother or lamb. but still laito can't get how faith works for humans.
i think laito deep down, want to be more close to shu, mostly for his music collection and stuff but dont know how to adress him, so he just ocasionally ask shu for his disc and vinyls, i like to think that laito wishes to speak more to shu but its so distant that he never tries.
i think laito is also a pranker, like, not with everyone special, mostly his uncle, he likes to hide stuff from him or surprise him by appearing suddenly next to him, he does that to his brothers sometimes, to ayato and reiji mostly.
nsfw
so to begin with, i think laito is not too big or too small, ill say he is a good 17 cm, his dick is straight and with a round tip, and likes to maintain himselft by shaving. he has a prominent vein but has more in his croch, right where is pubic hair grows towards his belly.
i think laito is a good... dominant, i can't see him being actually a bottom in any case, he is such a player and a teaser, but he despites the idea of being dominated too much, maybe being talk back and the try of you wanting to dominate him is not bad, he likes those kindes of roleplays, but at the end he is the one in control.
i think laito likes to praise you in a very direct way, like if he sees you in a pretty outfit he will say something like "oh? dressing up so cute just for me? fufu" or if you two are talking he may sudenly come closer and if you blush he would giggle and say "ah, you smell so sweet, but that face you just did is really something, excited to have me this close? fufu" in every chance he get, he will praise you in some way.
oh, and a little detail that i did'nt know where to put exactly so ill just put it here, laito has a hard time remembering faces and names of girls, so he often just call them the usual "little bitch". a little rude but he can't help himself, so when he get interested in some girl, laito can finally see her face and remember her name. from that point on, laito loves to put nicknames on you, and will stop calling you little bitch without him noticing.
some nicknames i think laito may call you can be princess, cutie or just your name, but he say it with a very loving tone, he do cares about you if he loves you.
so its not a secret that laito can get turned on by a lot of things or situations that are not really hot, but i think he likes things that are'nt normally hot, like if you look at him badly he likes it, he find you cute, he is totally the kind of man that gets turned on by you being mad at them or at anything. angry sex..? he loves it.
or if you two are having an argument and you talk back when he is mad he would get turned on too.
"oh? what was that princess?" laito would take you by your neck and come closer to whisper in your ear with a sly smirk "ill fuck that little atittude out of you if you keep talking to me like that, im starting to belive you want that huh?".
im on my knees.
oh, and about kisses! laito is a suprise kisser, he would kiss you without telling you at first, mostly are just little pecks to surprise you or directly shut you up, other times he would kiss you more but i doubt he initiating tongue kisses, maybe if you look at him in some way or you asking for more kisses, then laito would do it. and he get really worked up for it, feeling your tongue in his mouth, sharing saliva, he is going crazy.
i think that laito also is a very good foreplay guy, while making out he literally talks you trought it, whispering as he kisses your neck and hold your waist close "are you trying to burn me with you body?... even your blood got heat up... fufu... do i make you this horny, princess?" then he would take your clothes off carefully, he wants to feel your skin close, bc laito as a vampire cant really make his body heat by himself, but your body being hot makes him want to melt into you, he kisses every place he can and tease you about it. and all of that with that gaze of him??? omg, this man just by staring at you can make you sigh weak, he knows what he is doing looking at you with those intense green eyes.
i also belive laito is a man who enjoy giving pleasure to his partner, like, he loves giving you oral, not just to make you feel good, he loves to taste you, kiss a part so private for laito is intoxicating. he is a starving man eating what your precious body gives him. and laito moans into your juices, licking your clit softly and holding your hips close to him when he licks faster "fuck princess... only i can eat you like this... mmh..." and if you are giving him oral laito likes to tease you too, but he is such an ass about it, laito likes ot be standing while you are your knees, or maybe if he is sit in the edge of the bed and you on your knees as well, but anyways laito likes you on your knees. i think laito likes to look down at you, and if you look up at him he will go crazy, the man loves eye contact. if he see you too confortable with his dick on you mouth, he will thrust deep in your troat just to see you tears in your eyes, laito would just smile and apologize even if he is'nt really sorry "oh... sorry princess, did i hurt your pretty mouth? fufu..." likes to hear how wet his dick sound in your mouth.
i think laito is like reiji when its about the speed and strenght he uses, its always depending of the mood, if its like a morning sex laito will be more gentle and sensual about it, slow and deep inside you while talking dirty in you ear. ofc he is a talker in bed. also likes to play with you clit gently, its a plus if he gets to see your face, he would feel so good of himself just to make you look like you do in that moment. in these cases laito would like spooning, yes, like that he can trust into you while whispering, he would hold your neck so you can look back at him and kiss him, he loves wet kisses during sex.
"ya' like it princess?... yeah..? mm... bet ya' feel real good with me so deep huh? fufu..."
and if its like an angry sex or just more energetic he would be so great, he likes to be rough sometimes as well, he would put you on all four and fuck you hard while holding you by your arms, and he is fierce. loves the sound his and your bodies makes in every thruts. laito will lift your torso up to hug you tigh to keep fucking you wild as he holds you neck. hearing you moan loudly just makes him go faster "yes princess... scream my name ohh.. fuck... no one can fuck you like i do, ya' hear me princess... oh... just me" laito is the kind of man that loves to leave you with marks, hikeys, love bites, his fangs, everything, even leaving you ass with the shape of his hand for how many times he slap you, he loves it. laito loves to mark what is his.
and when he cums, he tend to bite you as well, not all the time, but if the full moon is high he cant help himself. and he cums a lot, two rounds at least to begin the night.
i think the aftercare laito can offer are just two opcions, either way he just cuddle you and both of you take naps, or he can run a bath for both of you but that will only lead to another round in the shower.
and this man is hungry for you, like he literally wants to be under your skin all day, and your pants too.
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#diabolik boys#diabolik lovers#shu sakamaki#reiji sakamaki#ayato sakamaki#diabolik lovers ayato#diabolik lovers kanato#diabolik lovers oc#laito sakamaki#diabolik lovers smut#dialovers laito#diabolik lovers laito#laito x reader#diabolik lovers reiji#diabolik oc#diabolik brothers#diabolik lovers subaru#shu sakamaki smut#diabolik lovers shu#sakamaki reiji#ayato x reader#kanato x reader#sakamaki family#kanato sakamaki#subaru sakamaki
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tw vent
idek. i hate having to get up in the mornings and having to go out and be okay and im hurting inside all the time and im used to bottling it up except im not sure how good i do that and i just have the hurt and the everything stuck inside me and it really makes me want to die everything is the same and i really. dont think theres anything worth staying for anymore. there is nothing i want more than to die and disintegrate into ashes and dust and fly to sunlit forests until the wind sweeps me somewhere else again. im still telling myself, i have a future, what about our childhood dreams, what about moving out, what about giving my kids the childhood they deserve, what about living a better life and getting better for myself, what about being a psychiatrist and helping people, what about living with my friends, what about the things ill never get to do. but i really dont know if thats enough. i dont even know if hes enough to make me stay anymore. where did i go wrong? how did i go from young and naive and loving everyone and everything in my own little world to this? destroying myself with everything i do and constantly wanting to die? life is so underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time and im worried about everyone. like these 2 people are dealing with everything but i just want them to be okay. they dont deserve the hurt and negative feelings and i wish i could take it away or they could at least give it to me because theyre the best thing to ever happen to me and i really love them but theyre dealing with stuff too and i check in and do what i can but i dont think im good enough to be there for them. they have other friends and other closer friends i feel like but sometimes they vent or tell me about their problems and i wish i could make it all better. they deserve the world and i love them so much theyve both been through a lot and i just love these 2 people so so so much they mean so much to me except i dont know how to show it and i dont want them to think im being weird or anything i dont want to talk to someone about it because i feel so stupid when they comment on it and i feel like im being attention seeking and i just hate it and i hate how i even need to vent because why cant i be okay i didnt want this i feel so much hurt sometimes i dont even know why and its so much that it turns physical and into a pain in my chest and i feel like my heart is being clawed out and someone is squeezing my lungs and dicing it up into little pieces and some of them call it love and others are just like that and i feel like a puppet sometimes and i feel really fucking dead sometimes and i cant do anything well or at all and i feel so replaceable sometimes because there could be someone better because i feel like everyone hates me sometimes and i want to be better except i cant because this is the way i am and i really hate it because why cant i be perfect and good and be there for my friends and not mess up the relationships i have and maybe i wouldnt be left out all the time and maybe i would be the friend that walks with the other friends on the sidewalk and maybe i would be the friend that they tell their secrets to and maybe i would be the friend that makes their life at least a little better and maybe i would be the friend they trust with their life and maybe we would have that connection and i want it so badly but whenever i try it just doesnt work and i am so tired im so tired of life i dont know where i went wrong and i just want to go so bad and never come back but whos going to be the one taking everything that he throws at us so my siblings wont have to grow up with the trauma and end up how i did and who would be the one to check in on them because no one else will and who will be the one who teaches my sister that its okay to love and not be okay and who will teach both of my siblings that love is okay and being yourself is okay and who will be the one who is there for him when he needs it and i just sfkghj
#tw vent#tw suicide#tw rant#tw trauma#mentions of death#vent#irl people please ignore this whole thing im good#swearing cw#tw abuse#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressive
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#3 and #7 for those video game asks 👀
3. 1-3 games you’ve played in the past 12 months that you really enjoyed Pokemon Scarlet
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i genuinely loved this game which was a difficult thing for games to accomplish after i was consumed by elden ring and didn't want to wriggle free of its grasp on me lol. i think it has its flaws of course, i'm not going to be delulu about that but i dont know unpopular opinion but i like open world games!!! i dont know if this scale and direction will be the best to stick with in the future for pokemon but i really loved having a generous amount of freedom in where i went and the order in which i did shit. it was wild to wander off to casseroya lake and just frantically try to juke around all of the dragon pokemon a shit ton of levels above mine while screaming until i managed to get to the other side. i also just really loved the story and characters (except for SOMEBODY), got me really emotional also arven best boy
Silent Hill 3
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bought the game for the first time when i was like fourteen, just finished it basically fourteen years later lol. loved the idea of horror games as a kid but i was so bad at playing them, they were mostly just prime sleepover games at the time 😂 but it was great to revisit the game after getting a lot more context for themes and the overarching story of silent hill. while i'm not as susceptible to getting scared by these games anymore, i feel like knowing more about them on top of just having a lot more uhhh life experience than i did when i first got the games helped to elevate the horror from oo spooky scary to oh god oh fuck that's the dread isn't it oh no it's hitting awful close to real life now oh shit. also it was just cool to see how bizarre and clunky silent hill could be compared to like…Nostalgia Glasses Silent Hill. it sounds like something that's all sorts of bad but i honestly liked how weird and disjointed progression could be in the games.
Baldur's Gate 3
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i mean......come on i think this is everyone's choice if asked lol BUT.....plot twist, i really didn't want to touch the game initially. i loved the original games, they're literally my top favorite games, but for me, i'd given the series its kiss goodnight and i couldn't really figure out what a third game would add to the main storyline. it was pretty wrapped up and i don't know this new studio and everyone was pushing me about it and trying to make me trust the new studio but it didnt change the fact that i didnt know them, i didn't know what they were going to do with my favorite game and i was like eugh i dont wanna roll the dice and i just wanted to be left alone about it, and the bear shit happened and i was like ohhhh the legacy is gonna die because this is all people are going to focus on oh jeez scoob no one talk to me about this game ever again, baldur's gate is at rest in its tomb and i will hear no more!!!! then i played it. and i'm still working through it. but once again i was Consumed to a degree that i hadn't been consumed since elden ring. i keep making new characters because its just fun to try the game out from a completely different character from the beginning, i don't know how they fit it all in there. i know its a huge game but holy shit there's so much to it i dont even think the actual size of the game sounds feasible for all of the shit going on. i didnt think i'd give a single shit about any of the new companions but i love them dearly and i'm so happy to see my old pals minsc and jaheira but it's so hard to form a proper party because i just want everyone on my team because i love them all!!! i think if i had to choose, i do still love the original games about gorion's ward, it's a hard story to beat and i mean i've loved the game for like 20 years for a reason, but i do think 3 is a great addition to the series and manages to pay respectful homage to its predecessors for old players while still bringing the world and mechanics up to speed for modern day. anyway my first character fucked the guy who turns into a bear so whatever in that department i guess.
7. A series you’ve lost interest in Fallout
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i don't say this in a bad way but i think i've lost a bit of interest in it in the sense that it's just not really at the forefront of my mind these days? i still really love the games but i mean my favorite one is 3 and i don't think i've gotten the same exact feeling from the games afterward. i know new vegas is a fan favorite and 4 was good but i was consumed by 3 lol. so it's less like eugh ew eauaugh hate it and more just i tucked it into bed and kissed it goodnight and it will awaken when it awakens.
#ginshariblog#asks#long post#this one's a doozy sorry for rambling lol#also because i put visuals on the first ask i am now compelled to put visuals on All Of Them
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I want the void to hear my takes on Star Trek: Coda
Luc Picard and the Wesley Mirror Enterprise Bois go to the mainverse and start scanning black holes to find the Devidian's hiding place (they need a certain size black hole to make a breach to intertime or whatever) Riker detects them arriving and goes after them hard, since most of the admiralty is dead he's ranking so he's calling in the fleet and puts a bounty on the ship among the other powers to get to Picard (he thinks they're hiding main Picard). He also is spying on Troi and recruited his caitian aide to do it as well. The bridge crew is absolutely nervous about his increasingly erratic behaviour, especially when Enterprise jaunts away and he starts calling them all morons.
Kira gets aboard her transport, uncomfortable but understanding how everyone feels a lot of bad stuff towards her awful fucking counterpart. Her transport picks her up and its Alt-Ezri in command of the refit Defiant of the mirrorverse, she's also bonded to Dax now for some reason. Kira is understandably very upset by this whole fucking thing, but keeps it together. I'm pretty sure Alt-Dax died off screen? Or at least was implied to in the ferengi fuck around ep in the mirrorverse. (Zek your brain is so big).
Spock and AltSavik meet the Prime Minster of the Commonwealth: Michael Eddington.
Truly this is a hell dimension.
Eddington tells them the parliament is arguing constantly and not doing anything about this whole end of the world thing. He and Savik both try to talk to them but no dice. Savik wont break her word to the Commonwealth and order the ships over to the mainverse cause they aren't Memory Omega's anymore (they all belonged to Omega and were given to the commonwealth but theres some political their about the influence Omega has and its a fun political angle I wish got explored more cause its like a weird inversion of 31 kind of?). Spock tries to get the parliament to see reason because his counterpart was big deal martyr hero and that still carries weight for him. They dont respond well and he gets called slurs (not kidding its described as people booing and throwing things and shit, wild). Savik gets an idea.
The Defiant team arrive in Borg Earth circa First Contact. The rift opens and the borg hold it open, they move in under cloak but get shot down. They dont fire cause that would reveal them as a threat and crash hard near the base (its where starfleet command was). Data, Lal, Bashir, Crusher, Sisko and Picard set out to go to the base and do their thing, leaving Worf in command to effect repairs. Picard starts hearing the collective even tho he's got no borg shit and tells the party but they dont have a choice but to proceed.
La Forge needs parts, so Worf, his alt dead wife and others go scavenging. They melee only and manage to get it all with only one person being seriously injured. Worf is hot for her and its weird for them but also not. She is also into Worf in the same way. Kira arrives at the Wormhole and its being blockaded by mercs because of the Dominion/maybe not just them. So they need to figure out a way to get in without being destroyed. Luc calls up Savik and is like 'we need reinforcements, Riker's off his shit' and she says the parliament is being shit and stealthily implies he should personally reach out to other ship captains, which he does after murdering a bunch of romulan borders. He also gets to yell shut up Wesley, which is silly and dumb, but ill allow it. Rene is basically being kept off screen for this adventure, but still shows up now and again to annoy his alt Dad.
The Borg boys reach the main base and find a way in but its chockfull of borg and the Collective knows that someone called Locutus betrayed them from the two drones that survived the initial time alter and assimilated the Earth. The Queen is interested in this, and wants to learn about Locutus. The vibe gets stronger as Picard gets closer and has a brief freakout but gets it under control. They get inside but its slow going and theres so many fucking borg, dog. Riker catches up with Luc and starts shooting bringing out Klingons to help, but Luc's call for help comes through and 11 other Jaunt ships appear and chase em off. Riker has a bigger freakout which everyone notes and is wild about. Troi briefly chats with his second and points things out stealthily hoping she got her on side before Riker pulls her away on a pretext.
They arrive at the final black hole and start scanning, quickly finding out its the place. Luc sends a ship (or two, cant quite remember) to rendezvous with the Defiant when it returns to the future. Present. Whatever. Its not even their universe or history. Riker has another freakout and slaps his XO which she uses to relieve him of command and send him to sickbay, he is pissed about this but cant do shit. Kira learns alt Bajor is gone from Dax, and given the collapse of reality and the heavy resistance that will likely kill them she asks for answers. Kira tells her whats going on and after a brief moment of coping, realises that its worth it to safeguard infinite versions of her dead wife. (She married Leeta based on their heavy chemistry in that one moment of the ep in S7 and then Leeta died somehow). She agrees to help Kira. Riker gets sedated and the Doc confirms he's definitely got two rikers in there. Troi goes brain diving using her own stuff and finds the other one so she calls in Tuvok who mind melds and helps her talk to other riker and bring will back to the front. He was aware of everything and needs to warn Jean Luc about something his counterpart knew. Lucky they're riding a transwarp current thingie to the black hole.
The Borg team get inside and find the command center of the beam, the old foundations the buildings based on let them find a way in but they need a distraction to deal with the heavy foritifications. Picard has another brain blast and realises that they're looking for him so he takes a grenade and a rifle to make a distraction. The distraction works and he realises the borg may have multiple origins due to failing to get a reaction from calling the queen by the name of the being that became the collective. The Queen disables his grenade and rifle and starts torturing him for information, not sure why, assimilation would be quicker but I guess she's cautious about a dude who she knows betrayed the collective?
Wesley rides a shuttle into the intertime breach to make a map so the ships can follow, he lands and sees the base and all the bullshit they're doing, including watching them destroy Bajor. He sees an older him who talks to him and creates a distraction which lets him run from the horde of Devidians. When he's cornered he sends his omnichron off to the shuttle and launches it back so they have info. Rene convinces Picard to go after Wesley when the shuttle comes back (the leave a log buoy for the other ships) and the small fleet goes in. It goes badly and they're quickly crippled. Luc escapes his ship with Troi and Rene. Wesley is tortured so they can replicate his traveller powers which they use to create the Time Ghosts and Time Snakes to his horror and send them back and forth through time to close the loop. Apparently this always happens or something.
Bashir and Data get in and take out the fewer drones, before getting to work. The fortify the room and Data and Lal stay behind to make sure things go off right. Crusher convinces Bashir and Sisko to go after Picard and they rescue him from the Queen as shes torturing his mind. They make it out but Sisko gets shot in the chest. Worf gets the Defiant ready to go, and Sisko dies with Bashir opting to go back for Data since he's the only friend he has left. Worf is right there Julian, dick move but probably for the best.
Ooph, a lot there, but like, its keeping me occupied, again dissapointed by the winnowing of the DS9 crew and lack of Voyager peeps. Like we got Kira, Bashir, and Worf left of our beloved characters, everyone else is either confirmed dead or likely died off screen because reality is falling apart. Feels like a bummer to not have Janeway ride in to fight time bullshit, especially since we havent heard shit about Torres or Paris since they were captured (presumably they died with Earth). Still, wish it was more everyones story rather than TNG feat the others. How will this end? will they succeed in retroactively erasing their entire history or will we get a fun hope spot. Hard to say. Find out next time on my Im rambling about star trek blog post.
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writing a letter to you in hopes of moving on. 3/11
hi j****,
how have you been? i genuinely want to know. i spend most of my time wondering about how your'e doing. i spend most of my time thinking about you. it sucks yk. i don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. what we had and what we could have had. i want to know why we ended, honestly. i think that would bring me peace. did you ever like me? i know you did, or at least that's what i'd like to believe. i can't say that you are a bad person. i can say the other guys are because they proved they were bad people, however it's not that easy with you. i think that is why this is so hard. why i slice and dice my arms over you. you are a good man and i liked you so much and then you left. and sure we can say we are friends now but after much contemplation i'm not sure how that would work. maybe in a few years from now we'll find each other and we can talk about what went wrong. until then i won't know. maybe next time we're both drunk we will meet up and do what we did and i'll feel more used than ever. do you remember when you asked me what made sex bad? it's not the actual deed. i mean it's not wonderful when some guy is thrusting into you in missionary and all you can think about is what you want for dinner but that's not it. it's the feeling after of feeling used. feeling like a sex doll, something to release into and to make a man feel good. i'm not going to lie, you made me feel that way the most. you won't know these names, don't worry. jivan would make me feel beautiful and we spent time discussing philosophy. we would watch tv after and he begged to cuddle with me skin on skin. eli would overstay his time and talk to me about his friend's and watch stupid shows with me. when we were done we smiled and he kissed me. you... just left. "you don't have to walk me down". didn't answer my texts for days. how could you devalue me that much. it felt and still feels like i don't matter to you whatsoever. what happened to the man who would text me everynight until he fell asleep? the one who worried for my health and liked my memes. that man is the one i miss. i don't know who you are anymore. your behavior sucks and i wish you could do better. if i had the answer im not sure i would feel better. i just wish you showed yu cared a bit more. i mean i will say you fucked better than them both but regardless i think i'm worth more than that. i know that its not 'if i said you could never touch me, you'd come over and say i looked lovely.' its more of 'he only loves me when we're all alone'. i can't even drink and have fun anymore because i always think about how i want to see you or text you but i can't because you dont like me anymore. maybe you hate me and think i'm crazy. you left me with these emotions towards you and hope and i'm just trying to figure out how to deal with them. i've been writing so much and i think that at a minimum i've written 15k words about you and us what what we could've been. i wish we could fall back to what we were really. i wish you'd come back and apologize and tell me everything. i dreamt about you last night. for some reason i wanted you to get me pregnant. wow. to have your child but we came to mutual agreements but how nice was it to see your face again. i adored the person you are and i think that time we spent will always mean a lot to me. you made me feel pretty, you made me feel like i was able to be loved, you helped me a ton in moments where i needed it. yes, now i am feeling a bit suicidal in your absence but i am still glad we shared time.
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1. are you named after anyone: nope!!! well. ok so the name im choosing for like. gender purposes Is named after someone (that one texpost of trans people naming yourself after characters. youll never guess who it is) but my birth name wasnt! my mom just wanted a kickass name apparently if i ever became the CEO of something. man by that logic they couldve named me so many horrible horrible things i think i got lucky
2. when was the last time you cried?: last. llast thursday!! :,3
3. do you have kids?: no for. slightly obvious reasons (minor and aroace)! sometimes i think abt being a teacher but i think if i did that id actually implode and my insurance wouldnt cover me
4. do you use sarcasm a lot?: uuuhhh depends!! not usually but irl my dad called me the king of it so. mayhaps :]
5. what sports do you play/have played?: ive played soccer with my dad and i did like. school mandatory sports before and the only time i willingly did sports was in like. 4th grade where i did karate when i Actually wanted to do gymnastics because i did it when i was like. a baby and i remembered it being very fun. however since them i havent touched a sport,,,,,,,,,,,, trolls movie image here dot png
6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?: OUGH UH! hhm probably their voice or whatever is on their person at the moment! if its online its just interests and disinterests. i dont. llook at faces a lot </3
7. eye color?: hazel green amalgamation of whatever made the devil cry. it looks grey from afar but it isnt + it gets more colored as i grow
8. scary movies or happy endings?: i like happy endings just in general (IF THEYRE WELL DONE..,,,,, i think. maybe you could like shake a bag of happy endings like shaking a bag of cat food for a cat) but i think i could watch scary movies! the bad part of this though is that im a scardey cat and i will have to like. leave my lights on at night if i do watch them. though the plus side is that Most things arent scaring me anymore! but that may be because most of them are games
9. any special talents?: i asked my dad and he said no! i can. reach my leg pretty far id say but yeah no dice
10. where were you born?: IN THE PRIDE AND PROUD COUNTRY OF AMERICA BABY YYYEEEEEHAWWW (nerf gunsjots, looneytunes cat yell, a heavily distorted version of the american flag playing as the sfx of a campfire burning plays in the bg)
11. what are your hobbies?: drawing, i would say writing but so far ive. bever actually published anything especially fanfiction. i tried and i failed!! mayhaps light analysis, and watching analysis videos in general! im. i cant say comics (yet,,,, soon,, SOON!!!) but i can technically say worldbuilding. no i have not published anythign. no i have not told anyone what i have planned. i totally and completely knowbwgat im doing and Not going insane just like the guy in junji itos hole 👍💯🔥🔥🔥
12. do you have any pets?: two cats!!!!!!! one meows and is tiny while the other is a behemoth orange dumb cat. i love them both equally
13. so. sooomewhere around 5 feet,,,.,.,.. im. im the smallest one in my friend group
14. favorite subject in school?: social studies back in 6th grade and art back in also 6th grade! simce then however no subject has truly captured me besides Maybe english and biology! actually no my english teacher was so cool so id say english :]
15. dream job?: something fun,,, i.
^ that. maybe a game designer (ive been thinking of game and story ideas), an artist of Some kind, an. annnimator??, comic artist, and maybe a gamer/streamer (a friend assignmed me that) but also theres a strong possibility id get Crushed like an ant in that kinda job. i do like me some games though i! guess i just dont know at rhe moment yknow? god i might get a retail job head in hands
OK THATS IT!!! did not expect to get tagged! hm. @m3wllo @cuntunism @fabledgalaxies @blockmenonthemind @warioimgonnawin @autocorrection
oh heck yeah tag game I will do it
tagged by @pokette :] for 15 questions for 15 mutuals
are you named after anyone? Technically no. However after I was born my mom learned that my great-grandmother's birth name was my name so...uhhh
when was the last time you cried? HAHA. HA. Last week.
do you have kids? No and I don't really want them despite liking kids
do you use sarcasm a lot? occasionally, though not as much as my personality would suggest
what sports do you play/have played? I don't think I've ever officially been in The Sports in any capacity except maybe badminton for like, two weeks
what's the first thing you notice about other people? How talkative they are
eye colour? Hazel ish
scary movies or happy endings? I am a happy endings freak if that makes any sense. Love that stuff. I don't mind the occasional scary movie though
any special talents? I can lick my elbow
where were you born? in an english speaking countryyy
what are your hobbies? Drawing obsessively and writing just as obsessively (mostly roleplaying)
do you have any pets? The apartment I live in does not allow them, but my parents keep calling their cat mine
how tall are you? I'm under 6' and I wish I was 6' yeah I KNOW tall people live shorter lives statistically but
favourite subject in school? English and Biology bay-beeee Biology was the only science I was any good at but I'm decent at math idk why it's probably my inability to think critically
dream job? I get bored of everything. what's the creator of earthbound shigesato itoi doing? I wanna do that but I'm not sure if i'm charming enough to pull it off
tagging um. @uncannychelle @smilesrobotlover @foooxobsessedperson @goopi-e @philipszelda @hi-there-cake @jackalopedoodles @jekyllhydetrash
no pressure ofc!
#oh OH I DIDNTKNOW YOU TAGGED ME UNTIL NOW#YIPPEE!!!!!!!!#man i tagged mutuals i havent tagged before! getsveaten by the wolves#thanks for tagging me!!! slight jumpscare tbh (positive connotation!)
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fun asks for boredom: do you read books? have you been to the LIBRARY lately now that it’s open again? do you want book recs? (bc im full of them PLS) - if not books, what are you doing with your free time? tv video games movies? what’s occupying your thoughts, what are you obsessed with right now? wanna infodump on anything? or vent? i want to listen :D
ive been a few times! i love the work area at my local library bc its always quiet and its got really nice views, so i visit it a lot. but im not a big reader tbh. im dyslexic and a lot of books are just too hard to get through unless theyre digital and i can change the font to something thats easier to parse which not all books/apps/websites let you do. and anybody who says the built in tts systems that these apps have are good enough, are lying to themselves. so most of the time when i buy/burrow a book its usually just a reference book of some kind.
and on that note, this is a Big reason i dont read a lot of comics, that crowded faux handwritten font a lot of them use is hellish for me to try and parse.
and its a bit of a joke amongst my friends that if im not actively making something im probably yakking on deaths doormat, lmao. right now im mostly into writting and doing digital paintings, but spinning and crochet are old favorites
and like, right now my biggest obsession is dnd, i love dming and the more role play focused sand box campaigns. and before anyone points out that theres better systems for role play focused games, i know, i actually like how janky dnd is on this front because it gives both sides of the table way more freedom to do what feels right.
like This is my rant, letting the players Genuinely argue through their character to try and get something done is Way more interesting than just making them role 1 die and do some math.
like, theres this one moment in the first campaign i ran for my best friend that i keep coming back too.
she had accidentally (on her part, this was my plan all along) traded away a mcguffin to the absolute last person she would want to have that.
when Summer(the npc) came to collect the mcguffin from Shiana(the pc) i Could have had zen(my bff) role 1 d20 and add shiana's persuasion modifier to it. and just on a role of the dice i could have decided where this litteraly game ending mcguffin would land.
if Summer gets it an eternal summer would ravenge the world. but her brother in law would be given more time with his family and a chance at survival.
if he didn't Shiana's brother in law and close friend was more likely to... not die, but also not exist anymore. but her holding onto it gave her time to maybe save both him and the world.
by not basing this on a dice role shiana got to Argue with this fairy to try and get her way out of this deal. zen got the experience of him arguing right back and trying just as hard as she was to get the damn thing.
and because she couldn't just role to persuade him they ended up having one of the most intense fights while she was Running For Her Life because she, Zen and shiana, not a trick of luck, royally pissed off the embodiment of Summer. she got to call on the power of both gods she had a connection to and nearly died from overwhelming herself with their power in a desperate bid to buy herself some time.
because we weren't using any strict rules for this, or really Any rules, we were able to tell a story that was much more engaging than one dice roll ever could be.
like, tldr, dnd Is good for role play because its Very easy to just ignore the clunky/underdeveloped rp rules when needed.
also dnd has tieflings. i like tieflings. think theyre Real Neat.
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other fans will put this better and not to engage with people taking this too seriously but to say that the fjorester kiss was a regression for jester is a total diregard for fjords character growth. he has CHANGED a whole damn LOT since the beginning. i remember conversations with my friends about how we thought fjorester was dead and gone after all the shit he pulled with avantika. even after their underwater, save ya life kiss i wasnt sure. but i dont watch this show for ships, (and if you do thats fine i guess but dont fucking ruin this for the creators dude), i watch this show for characters and the fact that it feels like one of the only genuinely told stories out there. tabletop streams have offered a totally new way to tell stories. chance and fate play with the dice and help weave the narrative throughout. characters grow whether we want them to or not. and ive watched fjord go from someone rooted in his toxic masculine upbringing realize that there are other ways to be. he has softened, opened up, and become so much more vocal about how much the group means to him and has affected him. time and time again he has put himself on the line for his friends because hes learned thats what family means right now. when you care about people you risk for them. its not about looking cool or becoming powerful or being like vandren anymore. i mean for fucks sake the dude became a paladin of the wildmother, you think that isnt a major mark of growth? its a class entirely dedicated to protecting your own and smiting anything who would do them harm. hes said countless times he wants to keep everyone safe, to repay the unwavering support theyve shown. look at his friendship with beau and how he comforted her after meeting her parents, the banter with veth, hell even the playful bird moment with caleb last night. hes a dork now. hes no longer that image of porn romance and overt masculine pirate cowboy from the beginning of the campaign. hes grown so much. hes a real person on his own now, not an immitation of his father figure. hes become kind, thoughtful, good natured, and protective. hes taken spells used to harm and tamed them into things he can use to help. its been a quiet, organic growth and its been a joy to watch. stop ignoring it just because its not the person you wanted jester kissing because you know what that disregards her too.
and in any case let the man romance his wife. its a game.
#cr spoilers#fjorester#i don’t understand how people can freak out enough to make matthew come and speak on twitter#and one kiss doesnt even mean its canon so can yall shut up before you ruin the relationship that the cast has with the audience#cr fjord#fjord stone
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session 95 end
i like that we ended 612 with karkat pretty sweet if you ask me (well an hour past it at least)
ill try and sum this up as much as i can, considering it was a LONG one (but i felt long was good for the occasion since it was a homestuck holiday)
alright
lets clear the elephant in the room (not plot related)........ i really like karkat vantas. he may be a jerk sometimes with the slurs but apparently he gets better?? so i DO wanna see some development but god hes such a great character and i know i hated him before but hes grown so much on me that i think hes even in the top 5 favorites. which are kanaya, terezi, aradia and nepeta THEN karkat. so yeah.... god tell me that back in act 3 and i would have LAUGHED
alright, now for the fuckups
equius and vriska
vriska lost her arm bc terezi sold her out to doc scratch, who then blew up the orb she stole which is the reason she now needs a robotic arm. terezi was quite sad about it actually, she wanted to talk with vriska one last time before she told doc, to see whether or not she changed. because vriska DID kill her friend......... but vriska meant smth to terezi, so if she wanted to be the better person and apologize or try, terezi wouldnt have done anything, but since vriska didnt seem to care that much, terezi had to show her that enough was enough. which obviously she didnt really enjoy doing. but damn... im curious to see how their friendship plays out in the future
okay now a quick recap of plot point:
vriska lusus died, but not completely so she had to kill her herself with a guillotine, by using her dice which foretold how she would do it, equius then hopped into the session and literally JUMPED to the next fucking gate to greet aradia, who he had prepared her a robot, aradia entered the robot and equius fucking PROGRAMMED IT TO LOVE HIM
which GOD OKAY
so she found out, hated the fact it was programmed and she didnt ACTUALLY have any romantic feelings for equius, so while pissed, she then smashed the living HEART INSIDE OF HER ON THE TABLE MULTIPLE TIMES, BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EQUIUS THEN FUCKING KISSED HIM WHAT THE FUCK
THATS SO FUCKED UP???? the whole forcing this onto her thing when she clearly didnt like him
however, it seemed while in the sprite, she didnt care much about equius’ peasantry remarks anymore, while she didnt reciprocate, she just went along with the commands he gave which made equius very very sweaty
honestly the most shocking thing of this session was the heart pounding, beating and kissing.
and omg there was.. a LOT of blood. we had vriskas arm being exploded, lusus being guillotined, aradia smashing out her heart and karkat being stabbed
ALL IN ONE
without break
LMAO what is happening to these kids
and on that note, nepeta saw the whole ordeal happen and updated her shipping wall with it??? which has all the trolls in relationships and shes judging whether or not theyre fit for one another which good for her ig and can probably keep me updated on who has a crush on who even tho its not all accurate
THEN we have karkat who explained romance. how theres both hate and love in troll culture, which both can be seen as a relationship. one is called uhh kiss something, the other is called moiral something, and then theres one he didnt explain which is matesprite???? kiss is hate, moiral is love and the other is unknown. from what i get. tho most of the time i was being soft over how he had said nobody listens to him and hes just so invested he forgot vriska was even there or what his original point was. anyways, so basically you can have a crush on someone depending on what you feel for them, whether it be love or hate. and hate i see it as kinda like dating your enemy i guess???? yeah.. interesting. i kinda wanna see what dynamics in homestuck lead to that
OR what the kids think about it
oh god dont tell me aradia kissed equius because of the hate love thing.... and then they’ll actually have a romance because of the kiss-smth black romance whatever its called....... bc i swear to god..... im not going to enjoy that in the slightest.. i dont want to see that.. nuh uh...... smth about them that irks me
i genuinely also thought sollux and aradia were still together but i guess since the incident theyre not??? bc then id be REALLY fucking concerned for the aradia x equius thing bc thats blatant cheating..... but nothing has been really confirmed so... for my sanity, ill say theyre taking a break, EVEN if id rather much have them together because they were cute :(( but equius FUCKED IT UP
ANYWAYS, last point but not least, while karkat explained this whole romance schtick, he got stabbed.. yes, STABBED, by their session’s jack noir agskagdjhd WHICH APPARENTLY DIDNT BOTHER KARKAT BECAUSE HE HAD HIS PRIORITIES LMAOOO HE JUST TYPED AWAY WITH BLOOD GUSHING ON HIS SIDE LIKE NOTHING, n e ways, he told jack not to tell anybody his blood color, and was being a dramatic bitch about it, because apparently karkat has red blood (not aradias, a mutant like color) which is oppressed by troll culture, so he hides it to not get shat on... jack cut himself to show karkat he wasnt alone. which i then remembered karkats session got fucked up when he was explaining his own game to john, and apparently jack fucked theirs up so i cant wait to see what happens there
and thats basically it
and with that, happy birthday karkat and happy 612 to you all
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hi, anon who sent the privacy invasion ask:
i did think about ur suggesting and yeah, you're right, that wasn't appropriate language to use for that particular situation, or at all really.
everything else still stands tho, and i think it hurt more bc she usually didnt snoop around like that to my knowledge. horrible as she was, she never took my stuff without asking, and was generally fine with leaving my personal stuff alone.
so when she did that it was a huge breach of trust, especially since i had felt that she would never do that.
another story, similar cw's apply here:
recently, a while after i escaped her house to go to my paternal grandmother, i went to visit my maternal grandmother for the weekend.
it was 2 am, and i was trying to go to sleep, and i left my sketchbook out on the table bc i had been doodling a little.
she walked over to me to tell me to go to bed, when she noticed my sketchbook. just when i had closed my eyes, i heard paper rustling, and i snapped awake immediately.
she was sitting at my feet, looking through my personal, PRIVATE sketchbook, without asking.
i immediately remembered my mom, and i told her to stop and put it down.
she ignored me.
i said it again. same thing.
i told her to stop 5 times and she did not listen.
i tore the sketchbook out of her hands but by that point she had already seen everything.
i felt naked, violated, and wrong.
i told her she couldnt look through my stuff without asking first, and that it was wrong of her to do that.
she looked at me, and with a patronizing tone of voice, said "good luck in the real world."
i saw red.
immediately i smacked her (uninjured) shoulder in hopes that it would jostle her head out of her anus but no dice.
she got mad bc i slapped her shoulder (gently) after she snooped through the equivalent of my diary without asking and refused to stop when politely asked.
she complained to my aunt about how id smacked her and apparently gave no other context bc my aunt came to me the next day to ask what happened.
i told my aunt and she started pulling excuses like "well she really loves your art, her father was a painter so your art is her pride and joy," etc.
i could not give 2 shits. i told her no and she did not listen. she crossed multiple boundaries and laughed in my face when i got upset.
secondly, my art is not something you get to advertise like its your own. you dont get to piggyback off of my hobby for clout, ESPECIALLY not after what you pulled. my art is personal, and the fact that you bragged about it without my knowledge, likely sharing pictures as well, is revolting.
and then my grandmother came around and said (in a tone clearly meant to guilt-trip me into apologising, oh did i mention she does that a lot) that she'd never touch anything of mine again.
i said "good."
she took me home, and i couldn't pick up my sketchbook at all after that bc every time, all i could think about was how she saw everything inside and suddenly i didnt want to draw anymore.
she called me everyday after that to ask when i would be coming back over as if nothing happened.
it has been over a week and i havent seen her since.
i really dont want to see her. forever, preferably.
but my cousin has a birthday coming up in 2 days where she will, unfortunately, be there.
and knowing her, she's already shared her side and will get everyone to antagonize me about it, as usual.
wish me luck and pray i dont commit homicide in the middle of a 3 year old's birthday party.
this family is a goddamn nightmare.
(Thank you, I appreciate that. And everything else you said absolutely still stands, 100%.)
That sounds absolutely awful, anon. Privacy is a right, it is important, it needs to be respected.
A artist's sketchbook is their private property. It's nosy, rude and entitled to look through it without permission. And to keep looking through it when that person tells you to stop is just horrible. She has no right, it's your art and your property, not hers.
I absolutely hated it when my parents looked through anything of mine, it made me jumpy and secretive and less willing to show them anything.
And, her laughing you off? With """good luck in the real world?""" Firstly, excusing her shitty behavior with 'oh this isn't the real world you're so coddled' is bullshit manipulation and it doesn't make what she did okay. Second; if she did that out in public with a stranger, that would be harassment and theft.
Like, is she trying to imply that out there in the big scary "real world" people are going to nose through your stuff on the regular? Because that sounds like what she was trying to imply, and she is wrong. No one would accept that kind of behavior from her. What she did was wrong.
I'm so sorry you have to see her again. That entire situation is bull and you deserve so much more respect than what you're being given. Your privacy is important.
Please stay safe. Good luck at the party. I suggest you avoid taking anything personal, she's libel to try and guilt you into getting into it. Just get through the day and try to avoid her as much as possible after. Like with your mother; she ruined the relationship. Not you.
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explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21
zoom and enhonse
LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats
DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today
CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//
so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza
(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)
OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.
i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo
we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE
[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.
time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then
nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing
thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)
silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]
THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog
EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE
sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text
charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this
i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"
charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons
charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP
oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.
thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem
solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.
michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME
its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.
jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE
we are just calling it a weird dog
we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,
JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!
solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found
silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!
man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.
we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans
UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL
huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.
used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.
i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.
charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.
okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.
oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered
k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,
time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that
first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog
(oh my god this is from late 2018)
leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead
nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables
WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions
HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]
camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent
man remember when charlie didnt wear pants
oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!
okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.
ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.
SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE
charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!
LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian
jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,
we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.
michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.
BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)
THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL
sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.
man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?
solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]
prophecies are weird.
charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money
oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"
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Im dying to know, do you have any holiday-themed Steve, Robin, Party, etc. headcanons?
god you KNOW i do!!! first of all i celebrate christmas and i dont rly know anything about other holidays this time of year so im just gonna... work on the assumption that they all celebrate christmas, but if anyone who doesnt celebrate or celebrates something else wants to reblog and add their own hcs i encourage it!!! okay this is gonna be so scattered but:
steve never really liked christmas very much. it was always just stressful and he hated having to spend time with his family and he always got like the most generic expensive boring gifts from his parents and it just wasn't really fun... the first christmas he really got into it was the christmas he spent with nancy and after they broke up, he was like oh christmas just fucking sucks!! but then...
that next christmas dustin invites him over for christmas eve and he brings a pie that he bought from the grocery store and claudia thanks him a million times and he wishes that he'd baked it himself so he didn't feel so guilty
dustin gives him a little baseball bat ornament and claudia is like "oh i thought you played basketball!" and steve is like "oh uh i do but i like baseball too :)" and he and dustin kinda smile at each other and steve ruffles his hair and they watch rudolph on tv and steve is like oh christmas.... is good......
speaking of dustin he always starts thinking about christmas gifts in like october but somehow ends up with absolutely nothing on december 20th and he has to run around in a panic finding gifts for the party
he drinks hot chocolate like a maniac... he doesnt drink water the entire month of december it's hot chocolate or it's nothing
hes one of those people who will say "come on it's christmas!!!" on like the tenth
lucas is one of those people who will say "no asshole it's december tenth"
lucas loves christmas!! he just thinks that it's a day and not a whole fucking month!!! he thinks anything before like december 15th is too much
the only thing he hates about christmas is that his parents always make him and erica pick out gifts for each other with no help from them... and since erica is an evil genius she always gets lucas the perfect gift just so she can hold it over his head for the entire year when he accidentally gets her a toy she already owns
she literally watches him open his present like >:) and lucas is pissed when it's this extremely specific action figure that he's wanted for a long time but he swears he never even mentioned it to anybody
and then he just sits there feeling like a stupid asshole as she unwraps a random doll that lucas figured she might like since its hair looks kind of sort of vaguely like erica's and she's like "thanks lucas :) i think i have this one already but it's sweet" and his parents are like "hey it's the thought that counts! erica see your brother knows what you like :)" and she's like "yeah :)" and then as soon as their parents aren't looking she sticks her tongue out at lucas and he sticks his out back at her
the sinclairs have such a disgustingly perfect christmas like they bake cookies together and shit it's adorable
speaking of adorable families the byers house is so full of love on christmas
almost all of the ornaments on their tree are handmade little crafts from when will and jonathan were younger and they buy tinsel at the dollar store and just go fucking ham with it their tree always looks like a hobby lobby threw up
growing up joyce would usually try to get them some things they need on christmas and then like one or two special things for each of them and she could never buy the fancy new toys that were in all the ads on tv and in magazines but she knows her boys.... jonathan got his first camera on christmas and it was from a secondhand store and kind of dinged up and definitely old as shit but he loved it..... will always got some new construction paper and crayons or markers so by the end of christmas day joyce would have new drawings to put up on the fridge or a new little ornament that he made for her.....
sometime in november jonathan would always be like "okay will i have a secret mission for you, you need to find out something mom needs that we could give her for christmas!" and will would be like "you have to say your mission should you choose to accept it" and jonathan would say "well i know you're gonna accept the mission" and will's like "jonathannnnn" and jonathan would be like "okay fine your mission should you choose to accept it" and will would be like >:) im a spy >:)
so little baby will would action roll around the house humming the mission impossible theme and peeking around walls at joyce and then after like a week he'd say "i think mom needs a stool she keeps jumping to try and reach stuff high up in the cabinets" and jonathan's like awesome thanks and he finds a cheap folding stool and some chocolates that he can afford with whatever money he has saved up and he has will wrap it because he figures it's like ten times cuter that way and joyce cries when she sees the little christmas card will put with the stool for her
i'm going way more in depth than i need to thvjdjcd but basically the byers house is all love man... so much love ..... they don't use colored lights anymore they only use the solid strands but they still have fun decorating together and will makes paper chains and stuff to hang up and i'm about to make myself cry
so!! this is getting super long fjvndmcmd
nancy is absolute dogshit at buying presents for people she's just terrible at it. she always just asks mike and holly and her parents what they want and buys exactly what they tell her and if they don't tell her anything then she has like a mental breakdown about it and panics and buys like. a flannel pajama gift set from the department store.
when she's dating steve he tells her not to worry about getting him anything which she takes at face value until her mom asks what she's giving steve like three days before christmas and then she starts panicking and she goes to a sporting goods store and just asks the first employee she sees what a teenage boy who plays basketball might like
steve can't tell if he should be like happy or vaguely offended that his girlfriend gave him like shoe deodorizers and a water bottle and socks for a sports team that he doesn't root for... she tried though and thats all he cares about
she and jonathan agree they'll exchange gifts but nothing over like MAX fifteen bucks which is easy she just finds a tape or a record she thinks he'll like and she's set (she spends a full hour in the music store and almost just gets a gift certificate for him but eventually she just says fuck it and picks some random shit she's never heard of and hopes he likes whatever it is)
mike on the other hand is actually like... insanely good at gift giving because he pays close attention to the people he cares about and he just like Knows if lucas or dustin or will is gonna like something
he just doesnt really buy into christmas all that much?? it's cool to get free stuff and eat cookies and all but he thinks people make it into a bigger deal than it should be
holly still believes in santa though so he likes seeing how excited she gets on christmas... it warms his cold tween boy heart.....
the first christmas he gets to spend with el he turns into a fucking christmas enthusiast and he makes her hot chocolate and gives her a tape full of christmas songs and he asks his mom for a bigger gift allowance because he has a GIRLFRIEND now and she's never- uh, THEY'VE never celebrated christmas TOGETHER so it has to be SPECIAL MOM!!!!
karen is like buddy calm down but it's so nice to see him excited about something again that she caves and gives him like forty bucks and tells him not to tell nancy or his dad
el and hopper christmas... i cannot go into detail or i WILL cry but hopper takes her with him to pick out their tree and she's so meticulous about it like examining all of them and he's just standing there in the cold freezing his ass off letting her do her thing because she's so excited that he doesn't have the heart to tell her they're basically all the same and to just hurry up and pick one
he gives her a lot of books... there are so many books under their ugly fucking tree because el picks one thats extremely crooked because she says it seems nice and hopper cant find any of his old decorations so they have to start from scratch...
el enlists the whole party for help finding hopper a present because it has to be the best present of all time!!!! they're like well what does he like and she's like uh tv.... coffee.... gun...... and they're like uh we can get him a coffee mug?
so on christmas morning el presents him with a "BEST DAD" mug full of candy and he hugs her so she won't see that he's fucking crying
she also gives max a drawing she did of max as wonder woman and it isn't very good but max says it's her favorite present she's ever gotten and she keeps it folded up in her nightstand
max has mixed feelings about christmas
i should not have saved her for last this is depressing
fuck her family fuck all of that okay max spends christmas eve with the sinclairs and christmas day with el because her mom and neil don't really feel like celebrating this year and so for the first time in a long time her christmas is full of love and joy and hopper makes them cinnamon rolls for breakfast which el has never had before and it's great
the party usually does a big gift swap and they don't get each other anything too fancy or expensive but it's sweet... they all gather in mike's basement like the day after christmas and eat the leftovers from the wheelers' christmas dinner and give each other comics and action figures and dice
once robin enters the picture she and steve lowkey get smashed on christmas eve together off peppermint schnapps and they play rockin around the christmas tree like ten times and jump around until they get dizzy...
they give each other little things like every other day leading up to christmas so by the end of december they've exchanged gifts like ten times but it isn't their FAULT okay!!! steve just saw these earrings and thought of her so he got them... and robin couldn't just leave that wham! crop top sitting in the store...... and steve couldn't resist the cheap bff necklaces he found while looking for a gift for erica....... and what is robin meant to do, ignore the stuffed kermit doll she saw in a store window?
it's just unrealistic
i like to think that everybody gathers at the byers house for lunch or dinner on christmas eve... they just hang out and exchange presents and make cookies and watch christmas movies and argue over which ones suck and which ones are actually good...... they just spend time together without any fear or danger and it's good
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Cats the movie (2019) review
So as many others who watched this movie have done its my turn to tell yall my thoughts after just watching it in theaters.
First off : like no theters are showing it anymore its only playing a 45 min drive away amd only at 9 20 pm so i just spent a lot of time driving and got home at 1. (Because my friend lives even farther away) and thats all in like my northern province area just one show a day.
Second there was my group of 3 another group of 3-4 a couple i think and this random lady by herself. This lady shushed us the whole movie even before the actual movie started and we were laughing at just the sheer concept of it she shushed us and another group and told us to be quite. Even just for laughing. This woman wanted to see and enjoy this movie.
The graphic are just not good. Cats ears clip through cats, their feet don't look like they are touching the ground, the fur texture of clothes is the same as the cats fur and thats unsettling. Some clothes hung above the body and didn't move with the body. Some cats had shoes. WHY? Who made them shoes? Where do they get these clothes from and why can one of them tapdance?
The physics don't make sense. The cats are way to small to be actual cat size and it upsets me. A ring can be worn as a braclet but try that on your cat at home i dare you. But also they had cat sized rings for some cats. Some cats also had gold teeth and i dont like that. Like they were just too small and looked like smurfs rather than cats which also made the mice and cockroaches even smaller. The rats looled to be the size of and inch or two. Some times a cat would hold a dice in his hand, cats also cant grab things, and it was the size of the whole hand but so where his cards and that doesn't even make sense. Did he have cat sized playing cards? Also the movement sometimes like jumping and flying through the air was very un cat like and was way slower than cats fall/move. Cats also shouldn't and dont drink milk so. Their tails also are for balance not decoration. The only good thing is their ears actually showing their emotion.
That brings us to the cats themselves. JUST NO!! WHY? They are just humans with fur and its unsettling! Like its just plastering a face onto a kind of cat head like from what we do in the shadows and then human bodies with a fursuit/morphsuit on. They didnt even change the noses or anything. They still have eyebrows and human eyes. Why do they look so naked!? Especially the McAfee dude or whatever. He has abs! And the females have breasts! Cats have 6 nipples and that would be even worse. Cats dont work like that! At least they are neutered or this would be truly horrifying. Why have hands for paws. Cats have paws. Cats can't grab things. Cats dont have feet. They keep mentioning paws and none of them have paws. Also calico cats can't be males so that one twin cat is trans confirmed.
The plot:
I DON'T KNOW!
Every song sounded like a different langue with random words thrown in lile lamp or whatever and Whats A Jelico Cat? Apparently its like a clan? We had to look it up because it doesnt explain it! There is a song about names and im still confused they never bring it up again in the rest of the movie. That grey cats only role was just showing the new cat around. Honestly there was no plot it was just showing a new cat around and then so.eone got in an airballon. Wierd thing i still don't understand WHY DO THEY CATS HAVE MAGIC !!! But Like Only Some! WHAT? ? Why? Why can that dude teleport other cats? Why does the magician cat have to be like the only good cat? He also has magic i guess and can hold a pencil that is the same heighg as his cards. I also love his jacket and kinda want to make it. Very glad there was no kiss scene but they came very close to having a couple and that was not okay. There was also not a cgi dog thankfully. I did actually like the twins energy and song and drugging of cats. The train cat dude was also cool but much too small for the rails. Not realistic. Gus whose name is ASPARAGUS! for some reason is a theater cat? Idk but i kinda like him he just doing his own thing. The taylor swift song is like the best song but mcafee is uncomfortable to watch still. And theres like an abbandoned cat that gets picked to start a new life by the elder cat and she flies away in an airballon that appears and she disappears into a cat shaped cloud. Before all this sorry um rebel wilson unzips a layer of cat fur to reveal clothes its just unsettling. This happens multiple times. There is a cat that follows warriorcat naming conventions. Magical cat is named after the devil and is the best character. Why did jason derulo have to do this to us.I actually knew the song memories some how before hand. Evil cat lost his powers at some point. The movie ends with the old lady cat looking straight at the camera theough your soul which triggers an innate fight or flight reflex and that gaze is held for wayyyy too long. Never did explain the magic aspect and i know nothing of these cats backstories so much is lost on me. There is also a bunch or random talk about ghost and and afterlife? I think and im pretty confused.
There are some actually funny writen moments and a lot of cat puns. The script itslef isnt bad its pretty standard not like award winning but its good. If it weren't for the whole look of the movie it would be pretty good. If it were properly animated like aristocats it would be a solid movie. That was my rant about cats the movie. Sorry it doesnt make sense the movie was very confusing. I am jusg writing down all the thoughts from my brain.
Overal good time with friends, bad experience with actual movie.
#cats movie#cats#cats 2019#cats the movie#theatre review#cats review#review#movie review#movie reaction
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Warmth
A/N- Sooooooooooo...........its been awhile. I had meant to write this a lot sooner but then I kinda forgot with all the chaos in my life. Its again the slowest burn in history of burns but I'm planning of getting there next chapter....maybe...dont hold it against me if I dont, please. Thank you to anyone still wanting to read this. Please comment!!! Reblogs and likes are always welcome!! But reposting it copying are not, dont do it or I'll hunt you down!
Characters- Baratheon (f)reader, Jon Snow, mentions of some Lannisters and Starks.
Warnings- slow burn, short chapter, bad writing, terrible grammar, horrific updating schedule, other then that none.
(Other chapters are "Journey", "Escape", and "Whispers", sorry I dont know how to link.)
Breakfast was quiet the only exception when your Uncle Tyrion entered. Demanding ale so early in the morning. You father was missing from the table, off with Ned Stark most likely. You ate in silence, you saw your mother staring at you across the table. You noticed that she'd been doing that often during the trip. You ate quickly, wanting to explore the castle before you would have to attend more boring duties.
Warmth engulfed you throughout the castle. It's as if the walls themselves reached out to embrace you. The servants didn't hurry off to their masterswhen they passed you; to tell what you were doing. Even though your were so far north in the freezing temperatures, warmth surrounded you. The opposite of Kingslanding.
Passing by many stairs and rooms you looped around towards your courtiers. Having decided that you wanted to vist the crypts. But first you'd need to dress warmer because unlike the castle the northern winds were not so inviting.
The entrance to the crypts was a black hole absorbing all the light that tried to touch it. A faint wind brushed across your face, it seemed to carry the whispers of the dead. Reaching up to light a torch to carry down you noticed it was well used. The dead weren't forgotten here, but were loved and listened to. The echos of your boots against the stone steps sounded eerie. Trekking down to the lowest level that was still standing, you caught glimpses of Starks.
Worn eyes stared down at you as you passed by the first Starks buried in the crypts. The air was thick and dusty. Your lungs almost hurt to breath in the stale air. Stopping in front of a cobweb covered man you tried to read the name on the stone by his feet.
"Theon Stark." The name rang off the walls for only you and the stone to hear.
He stood tall and thin with a long beard. A crown sat on his head, crumbled and broken.
"Many knew him as the Hungry Wolf." You jumped and turned towards the voice holding out your torch, "Sorry, I hadn't meant to frighten you."
"Jon Snow, what in the Seven Kingdoms are yuh ou doing down here?" You breathed out, trying to calm your racing heart.
"What are you doing so far down in the crypts? No one comes down here anymore."
"I wanted to see the first Starks buried here but the stairs seem to have collapsed further down. And you didn't answer my question."
"I was looking for Arya, she sometimes likes to play in the crypts."
"This far down?"
"No but I saw a light walking down the stairs and wanted to make sure everything was alright."
"Well Jon Snow everything dandy except I don't have a guide around this maze of a castle." You flashed him a cheeky smile.
"I'm sure that can be arranged." Snow turned towards the stairs, motioning for you to follow.
Letting out a heavy breath you started towards the stairs. The walk up the unreasonable amount of steps was silent for the most part. You tried to make small talk with him, asking about his family, his sister Arya, even his life at Winterfell. But no dice. He half heartedly spoke about Arya but you could tell he didn't quite trust you.
Finally stepping out onto packed snow and clean air after a long time in a dark crypt was freeing. How the Starks managed to visit any of their dead was a mystery to you. The courtyard bustled with life. Servants chatting, guards boasting, children smacking each other with wooden swords. What a wonderful place it must be to grow up and live. That feeling of warmth once again flooded you, even in the freezing cold.
"Jon Snow would you do me the honor of taking me to the Gods Woods? I would love to see it, if that's alright." You asked while putting you torch out and away.
You was him stiffen slightly, "Of course Princess."
"Thank you!"
It pained you to see that he didn't trust you. Trust, something your mother told you to never do. To never trust anyone but yourself.
@witch-of-letters @bucky-blogs
#jon snow x reader#jon snow imagine#jon snow#jon snow fluff#game of thrones imagine#game of thrones#game of thrones story#robb stark x reader#robb stark imagine#robb stark#arya stark#kit harington#richard madden#richard madden imagine
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Phoenix Point and why I want it to live
No TLDR this time. I said in the past that I could write pages over pages about this. I guess its time to see how many pages we are actually talking about here. Phoenix Point is currently rather mediocre. From the soundtrack to the many bugs and rather rough implementations, the missing features that were envisioned in the kickstarter campaign, the 5 scheduled DLCS, the epic store exclusivity, the inferior graphical polish in comparison to Firaxis’ XCOM reboot, the inferior complexity in comparison to Longwar, probably even the inferior Idontknow in comparison to the very first XCOM games from way back when, I didnt play those. If you are looking for something to hate in this game, you dont have to look too hard, there is something here for everyone. The reason Ive been a determined defender of Phoenix Point is not simply because I have a different taste in games than the mainstream however, but because I feel there is a way deeper underlying problem at work here. I’ll come back to that later. Btw starting now, when I say XCOM, I mean Firaxis’ XCOM. Personally I want more games like XCOM. More games like Battlebrothers, Mordheim: City of the Damned, Invisible Inc, hell, even Bloodbowl, even though I dont dig the sports angle. Games with permadeath, nameable characters, dynamic overworld systems and missions and situations that are created ideally by circumstance, not by simply playing mission 1, then mission 2, until you reach what the devs decided to be the last one they would make for the game. I thoroughly enjoy that concept of progression and many turnbased strategy titles just dont do it for me because they are too linear, even when they are otherwise nicely crafted experiences. Druidstone: The Secret of the Menhir Forest is a nice example of this, the game looks nice, sounds nice and is very well made, but it lacks the one thing I enjoy most in all the games I mentioned earlier. Along comes Phoenix Point and the moment I look at this game I know that it is all about scratching that specific itch. Not only that, it also brings with it a variety of creative features to even improve the established turnbased squad tactics formula. I didnt lie when I said I think that it is in many ways better than XCOM. Just that... WHAT?!?! ...the overall game doesnt compare well if we look at the sum of their parts at the moment. YOU CANT BE SERIOUS!!!!! About Phoenix Point being better in many ways? Sure, let me make a list. 1) Aiming In XCOM you aim, you have an x% chance to hit, you either hit or you dont. While widely accepted because of the quality of the overall games, its a pretty simple system that becomes especially frustrating when your guns model on screen is touching the enemies forehead and you still manage to miss. Or when a flashbanged and suppressed sectoid crits you in full cover after rolling a natural 20. In Phoenix Point bullets get simulated and trace a path from the barrel of your gun to a target that they then either hit or miss. Smaller enemies in Phoenix Point are hard to hit not because the game designers arbitrarily decided so, but because smaller enemies are simply smaller. In comparison, in XCOM you roll dice. 2) Modular enemies Similar to Battlebrothers, Phoenix Point has you encounter the same brigand thug (crabmen) over and over again. The enemy itself doesnt matter as much, its more about the number of different variations you can encounter. Brigant thugs can come equipped with simple helmets and/or armor as well as different weapons that have different abilities. They also have different faces on top of that. They are by far not the only enemy in the game, but even if they were, by the time you encounter the exact same thug a second time you wont be able to tell anymore because you have seen so many others inbetween. The same goes for most enemies in Battlebrothers (with a few exceptions), it becomes way more about your opponents equipment than about his actual type or class. Phoenix Point goes for the very same approach, but falls short because of a variety of reasons. To name just one, the first time you encounter New Jericho as a faction, you fight four New Jericho soldiers and all four of them have the same armor, the same weapon and even the same face. To hammer it home the mission also always takes place on a variation of the exact same map. It is an absolute travesty. The ambition is there and in random encounters on the map you can see where it is supposed to go, with every enemy type in the game being designed in a way that allows for as many variations as the devs can think of, from paralysis tentacles and bloodsucking arms to mist generators and everything inbetween. The possibilities are endless and from the standard crab to the giant bosses every enemy is designed with this modularity in mind. In XCOM in comparison, you have a variety of different enemies, but for the entirety of the first month (what is that, 3-7 missions?) you only fight the sectoid. Or maybe the drone too, I havent played vanilla in forever. Longwar tries to spice that up by using preexisting models and assigning new abilities to them, making some models bigger and giving others new abilities, but at the end of the day the sectoid looks the way the sectoid looks. I love what it looks like btw. But modular enemies are decidedly cooler. 3) Scale In XCOM you control 4, later up to 6 soldiers at the same time. In Longwar it goes up to 8, or 12 in that one mission. In Phoenix Point you start out the same way, but to my knowledge you can bring as many soldiers to any mission as you can get there via aircraft. Meaning that as soon as you get a second manticore you can theoretically have up to 12 soldiers in a mission, or 18 with a third. Naturally you would probably want to split your forces instead and be in 3 places at the same time (and you can), but this sort of thing being possible, both the 18 soldiers in one mission as well as the 3 different squads doing missions in 3 different places of the planet, is something XCOM simply does not offer. 4) Other features Be it vehicles, giant enemies, diplomacy or the amount of control you get on the overworld map, Phoenix Point does (or attempts to do) a huge number of things that in XCOM are simply nonexistant. In XCOM you dont get to decide were to fly, missions are simply spawned in popup fashion, the skyranger is on autopilot, “diplomacy” is managed by talking to top secret bald guy representing the council and by sometimes fulfilling a councilrequest. The only opposing faction apart from the aliens is EXALT which can be regarded as more of a separate mission type with human enemies and not really as a faction that contributes in any diplomatic way. Dont get me wrong, I dont think XCOM needs diplomacy in order to be good. XCOM is already good, fantastic in fact. But if we compare based on features alone and not the quality of their implementation, then Phoenix Point is doing A LOT of things that XCOM never even touched. This is in no way me trying to trash XCOM. I love XCOM, especially Longwar. However for the sake of an at least somewhat fair comparison the only games we should compare Phoenix Point to at this Point are XCOM Enemy Unknown and XCOM 2, both at launch. Bringing Longwar into the mix is something I do for the sake of providing a third angle, not because I am blind to the fact of how ludacris it would be to compare a newly launched game with an extensive overhaul mod that was in the making for years after the vanilla game and even its expansion were already released. As I was saying, along comes Phoenix Point doing all those very ambitious things. And it gets DESTROYED. To quote Beaglerush, the probably best known XCOM streamer out there: “But honestly, for anyone with experience in the XCOM genre, anyone who likes XCOM games, and anyone particularly who likes XCOM games at a harder difficulty or likes to obviously, like, play well, I do not think it is possible to enjoy this game unless you are getting a big paycheck and you are a good actor.” To be clear, I didnt watch the entire footage that made him come to that conclusion and I dont want to comment too much on what “playing well” means, but i have played Longwar on the highest difficulty in ironmanmode for 2000 hours (without beating it, but also always with Training Roulette active) and I have beaten XCOM 2 on highest difficulty in ironman mode. I do consider Longwar as one of my favourite games of all time and I do consider myself as someone who has experience with the genre, likes games and likes to play them “well”, or at least on highest difficulty. I dont agree with Beagle (duh), but I can of course see where he might be coming from. In its current state Phoenix Point is not finished. Playable, but even for an early access game its still pretty rough, with many mechanics not or only sometimes working (leanout, aim and aimsnapping, end turn, details, you get the point), features missing, performance issues, lackluster soldier customization, lackluster diplomacy options, a rather simple skilltree, questionable balance, etc. Don’t look at me like that, if I wanted to I could jump that hatetrain any time! But if I was to do that, where would that leave us? The XCOM genre, as Beagle calls it, is a niche genre at the best of times. Not only regarding the playerbase but also regarding game developers willing to invest time and money into creating something new. Xenonauts 2 is a year or more behind its originally panned release date with not much news to speak of, Terra Invicta is a distant memory of a game that will maybe one day still be released and Im still waiting for the XCOM 3 announcement and who knows if it will even come. Especially after we, the players, completely demolish Phoenix Point to the point where I would just cancel the 5 planned DLCS right now if I was in charge of the devteam. The main reason I defended Phoenix Point was not because of what the game currently is but because of what the game could be after 5 more DLCs. Ive played every backerbuild of the game and statements like “the game is still what it was 2 years ago” are simply and factually false. Especially between backerbuild 4 and 5 there was a huge jump in quality and between 5 and the release version that same jump has ocurred again - with an entire game that is now playable and completable. Yes, it could have more voiced lines instead of text, yes, it doesnt have the sexy “alerted sectoid” animation sequence when you run into a new enemy pod (pods dont exist in PP but you get me) and sure, the epic exclusive sucks I guess and I dont care much for the soundtrack. But after Backerbuild 5, who knows where the game will be after the next DLC? And the next? If you compare XCOM Enemy Unknown with XCOM Enemy Within, the difference was breathtaking. And here we have a game that has so much work already done, so many assets created, so much code already in place, and we, the players, punch them in the face and shout “NOT GOOD ENOUGH!”. You wanna go back to the drawing board, have somebody else start fresh on something that could be better in a year or two if we are lucky? Ive been looking for a game like XCOM for literally years. Battle Brothers was the closest I found. Tens, if not hundreds of others inbetween failed hard, from “Warhammer 40k: Mechanicus” to “Legends: Viking” to “Wildermyth” and basically everything inbetween. And here we have a game that seems to have the right idea, the right amount of ambition and a good amount of the work already done and we are bitchslapping them left and right just so we can go back to getting hyped about the next mediocre linear story experience. Sure, them releasing already is a shame. But if I was the one to decide, I would give them the same amount of money again and triple it and tell them to finish the job instead of spitting in their face when they come to us and lowkey tell us that they ran out of money. And I would send them flowers and tell them that Im sorry. Anybody can polish a game with extra cash, but getting the core idea right is something that even Firaxis almost failed to do with XCOM 2, as far as Im concerned. I said earlier, that there was a deeper underlying problem here and that I would come back to it and here it is, ladies and gentlemen. Modernday gamers are an ungrateful, hateful bunch of whiny spoiled brats, who think they are entitled to only the best of the best while in fact they “deserve” nothing. The entire concept of a kickstarter campaign is that you provide funds and trust so a bunch of people can try to realize their vision. If you dont like the outcome, then that doesnt mean they betrayed you, it means you have poor judgement. Notice how I say judgement and not taste. You dont have poor judgement because you dont like the outcome, but because you gave them money in the first place. I should maybe add at this point that my anger is mostly directed towards the public reaction and the phoenix point subreddit and not towards my own viewership. (hello) Phoenix Point is not the first game that has had me feel like the entire gaming landscape is slowly spiraling out of control. 5 years ago I thought quality means sales. At this point Im worried that a high marketing budget means sales. And I dread the possibility that 5 years from now I might be convinced that a high marketing budget means quality. Some of the best games this year were literally destroyed by players. Artifact wasn’t only boykotted, but actively brutalized, with people at some point purposefully streaming porn and torture under the Artifact tag on Twitch. Pathologic 2 had the devteam almost go bankrupt after poor sales and unfavourable reviews by people that barely grasped the basics of the game. All the while people feed money to the ginormous immortal that is Magic The Gathering and praise Hideo Kojima for his “unique vision” for Death Stranding. I didnt play Death Stranding and Magic can be pretty fun, but does nobody see the smothering double standards in play here? Im not saying that Phoenix Point has no problems right now in terms of quality. Some of the issues player encounter are in fact inexcusable, at least longterm. But XCOM 2 also had a bumpy launch with long loading times and tons of bugs and then they were fixed and today there are people that think XCOM 2 is better than Longwar. Incomprehensible to me how anyone could think that, but time and some postlaunch fixes did clearly change peoples minds. I think the main reason Phoenix Point got so much hate on launch in comparison to XCOM 2 (which also released 3 DLCs ,or was it more) is because its drastically different and more ambitious in many ways, not because it is half as bad as people make it out to be. XCOM is just like Phoenix Point, just dumbed down I guess. Kappa. (I hate it when people use the term “dumbed down”. This is a joke. Ffs why do I have to explain this)
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