#i have a lot of anons in my inbox right now and just felt this had to be said

[glitchy1938]

💥 anon here, that was lovely!!!! Sorry if I’ve been spamming your inbox, I’ve got lots of little ideas floating in my head

could you maybe write something with a reader who was cursed into solitude, like anything living they touch turns to ash and isolated themself. Maybe they were a hero with the beasts, and when the beasts corrupted they got cursed by the witches and went into hiding cause they didn’t wanna hurt anyone. You could do something with the beasts being the only ones they can touch without posing danger to

The Witches Curse....

[Beast Cookie's x Cursed reader]

Hatred.... That's was all you felt about the witches... All if this was there fault... You are-... Were a hero once.... But now... You were a monster.... You couldn't touch anything...

If you do, they immediately turn into ash... You had once the power of life, anything that you touch and was about to die you give them life.... But now, now it's the opposite.... You hide yourself from anyone, not wanting to harm of kill anyone.... You isolated yourself in a old temple.... You missed your friends... The Ancients (Beasts), they were your friends... And yet, darkness consumed them one by one because of the Witches, just like you..

You remember this day too well, the day when the witches trapped them and cursed you right infront of them... It wasn't just a cursed they gave you... But the PAIN you felt when they ARRACHED from your chest your Soul Jam as a punishment.... It was like any pain you felt before.... And it's still hurt... You couldn't imagine they'll be so cruel...

You still missed your friends... Shadow Milk, Burning Spice, Mystic Flour, Eternal Sugar, Silence Salt... Louna... You sometimes wish if they missed you... Maybe, after their corruption, don't care anymore... Oooh that's where your wrong, dear friend.

After they got free from the Silver Tree, the first thing they thought of was you, they couldn't just ignore how much you gives to help them, and they certainly HATE those Witches for what they did to you. After months of searching it was Eternal Sugar and Shadow Milk who found you first, they were so relieved that you still alive after all those years, but they also got worried when you told them not to touch you, Eternal Sugar didn't listen and hugged you to give you comfort. You were terrified that you'll turn her into ash, but suprisetly she didn't and you start to break down after so long of loneliness.... You can feel again their warm hug.... After them, the other Beasts found you too, you told them your cursed to why you didn't want to touch them, and you didn't know how they didn't die, Shadow Milk said that it's probably do to their powers or something, but they promised to never leave you alone again.

[And now, how is life with each of them, to explain : you stay 1 or 2 weeks with one in their place and how it is like/how they treat you while there]

Shadow Milk Cookie

• Ahh~ the Master Off Deceit, this one just LOVE using puppets, asham you can touch things to join him making some.

• He's the clingy one of all the other Beasts (With Eternal Sugar), when he want to hug you he WILL hug you, by surprise or not.

•He's also a big teaser, he love embarrassing you when he can, but he know he have limite and he doesn't cross it.

• He love tapping about anything he like, his plans, his dreams, his team, anything and everything, but he will listen to you with big hears, he want YOUR opinion, and he's not going to make lies to you. Never..

"Oh ho Dearest/Dear, your first Puppet looks GREAT !! See ? I told you you can make your own even with this cursed of yours~"

• He attempted to make gloves to stop your curse so that you can touch other things, but it didn't work as not even a second you touch that to put them on, they turned into ash, btj he didn't give up ! He will find a way !

• Speaking of his team, Candy apple Cookie, us a really special one, she really want to touch you or hug you out of excitement after you two play or you helped her with a trap to other foolish cookies, but you always dodge it and reminding her your cursed... She just pound sadly, but still can talk happely to you

• As for Black Saphire Cookie, just like his master, he like telling you the new secrets he found about other cookies, or listen to music with you, he doesn't touch you for pure messures, but he's a good listener to when you need to talk to..

• Comforting is not always his best thing, not like before but that doesn't mean hens not trying, when he see you cry in bed or you just having a bad day, he'll just cradle in bed with you while you snuggle on him, he'll tell you jokes to cheer you up. He doesn't want his favourite cookie all sad again... It'll break his heart...

Burning Spice Cookie

• Now this man REALLY wants you to join his army, but since you don't want to, he's a little pissed he wouldn't lie, but he doesn't hate you !

• He's the only one who train you, he would have asked Nutmeg Tiger to do instead of him, but he doesn't want to lose his best commander, plus he's the only one who can touch you with the other Beasts so.

• He train you punch fights, even if everything you touch turn to ash instantly, he want to make sure you can defend yourself when they're not here.

• He's not the best at words or comfort actions, but he'll try to, he's not used to this kind of thing.

• He's the type of guy/friend that will cheer you when you're actually fighting against someone, like he'll scream at you to continue.

"COME ON HEIR !! PUNCH HARDER !! CRUMBLE THIS COOKIE !! AHAHAHA !!"

Yes, this is him.

• He won't yell at you, oh no, you've been through enough after all those years, he never raise a hand on you eather...

• Even if he doesn't show it to you often, but he truly care about you, he's just a real spicy cookie that all.

• As for Nutmeg Tiger, she's your bodyguard most of the time, following you everywhere you go, and treating the cookies who dare trying to arm you.

• She doesn't touch you, as for obvious reasons, but she's happy you trying to help her in the secret garden she usually dry the plants and flowers, even if you just stay with her and talk a little bit, she's a little happy to have some company.

Mystic Flour Cookie

• Haaa~ the Cookie of Empathy, she's a very calm cookie even with her power, view of the Earthbread and lake of expression.

• You're the only one (with Louna) who get to see her genuinely smile, she feel more comfortable and more happy around you when you two talk about anything.

• You two share your time with a cupe of her tea, while she listen to you, she's a very good listener and can listen to you without boredom for hours or days.

• She comfort you when you have bad thoughts/ or bad views about yourself, you are beautiful even WITH this cursed.

• She's the one who feed your food and drink, as the first time you tried to, they just vanished with the cupe she served you your tea, you apologize to her as you break down not wanting to destroy her cups...

• She only comfort you by telling you that it was alright, it was just things, she can remplace them, she start to feed you when you two eat or share some tea.

• Cloud Haetae cheer you up with his treaks, even if he want to touch you and give you a hug as his fluffy fur is very soft an comforting, he know other methods he can use to help you get you smile or laugh.

"I'm sorry you have to feed me again... If only I could touch food without this-"

"Ush now My Light. I already told you that you'll NEVER be a burden for us. I'm actually happy to help you more then you did to us, so stop doubting yourself, you're great and always will be."

• She place you on her lap to ease your mind more, as she rub her hands gently in your hear, she humble a little song she once heard before, it's really relaxing 😌.

Eternel Sugar Cookie

• She's very clinging with you, how HORRIBLE to not touch things for years ?! Unthinkable, so she hug, kiss, and most importantly, give you affection through actions and a little of words.

• In ther Paradise, she's spoiling you roten, she'll give you ANYTHING you want, want some food ? Sure, there is plenty in here. Bored ? Her little creatures (as I saw) will distract you or play with you until you're egsosted. Want some cuddles ? DAMN THIS ANGLE WILL DROP EVERYTHING JUST TO GIVE YOU THAT !!

• She often sleep with you in her cloud, she'll be on top of you while she cuddle you, her wings wrapped around you like you're her little baby.

• Even if you're asleep, she's often the one watching you, not in a creepy way, no, like an adorable way. You're just too cute when you sleep, she can help.

"Oh, Darling~ I just can't get enough of you~ you're just so cute and soft~! I can just squeeze your Blum little cheeks of yours~!"

Silence Salt Cookie

• Now this cookie, as far as I know, is not a very talkative cookie, but he's a very good listener when you need to talk about your fear...

• As he can't talk he show his affection through gifts, chocolate, flowers, fluffy plush (who are magic, so they don't fade away when you touch them)

• He's your personal Bodyguard, he'll protect you when some cookie dare to attack you, he'll Sly them in instant.

• You're the only one who get to see his face... It's a very sensitive topic for him.. but he feel more comfortable and relaxed when he's with you.

• You're also the only one who get to give him nicknames without being killed Shadow Milk do it to annoying him, just like the rest of the others, but when it's you, he'll just smile in his casque..

"Hi Salty ? Do you need- Oh !"

He give you a bouque of purple flowers. You gently took him from his hands and thank him.

"Thank you Silence Salt, these are so pretty ! Where did you find them ?"

He pointed a little place where he found them, then, out of the bleu, you kiss his cheek, he look at you, surprised.

"Sorry, I can't give you something similar as i used to, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable !" He immediately shake his head, you can't probably not see but she's blushing under his mask~...

Red Chocola Cookie

• This girl was already overprotective with her friends and family, but now with York state ? Yeah, she's' not going to let it happen again.

• She told you about her little sister and brother, who after so long was alive this hold time and live a happy life now... She really doubting herself a lot, but she's not going to show it to you all the time. It's not about he, but you.

• She used to sing songs her mother sing when she was little, so when you two are relaxing, she sing while she rest on you.

•She told you about her hatred for Fallacy, the one who broke her heart and Friendship they had, she's happy he lost sight of his son, and the little kid is the best friend of her brother. She can be more happy tehn to see him suffer as much as he did to her... but she sometimes mumble of how she's a little worried/still care about him.... She can't help it...

• She's always working with her magic to create gloves for you, just like Shadow Milk, but she's reading through ancient magic books so that, she know what material she need.

• She make sure that any nightmare doesn't get to you, she's giving you only good dreams and if you happen to have one, don't worry she's right next to you for comfort.

• She's very motherly, she'll feed you when you can, help you choose your clothes, hug you, she'll do just that !

• She doesn't care of the Witches.... But she does worried about her mom, who is one of the witches... She know it wasn't her who trapped her and the others... But she wonder if she's okay...

Hope you like it !! Don't hesitate to ask for more !!!

[immaqulate]

stay inside | c.s

— chris sturniolo x fem! reader

— warnings: smut, suggestive, intense sexual tension, possessive language, breeding kink (implied), soft dominance vibes, lots of touching and begging

you wear his shirt, he wants to wear you out.

requested by anon! | word count: 614 | proofread by @blushsturns | part 2 here

You weren't expecting him to follow you into the bedroom that fast, but maybe you should've known better.

You'd barely turned on the lamp, that soft, golden one on the nightstand when you felt him behind you. The door shut with a click. You heard the sound of his rings clink as he pulled them off and set them on the dresser, slowly. deliberate, like he was preparing.

"That shirt's real short on you, baby," Chris rasped behind you, voice wrecked from the night, low and hot in your ear. "That for me?"

You turned slowly, the oversized tee barely grazing your thighs. It was his, obviously, grey, worn in, with a faded logo and a neckline stretched from how often you tugged on it over your head when you miss him. But he'd never seen it like this. Not with you hair messy, your thighs bare, or your eyes asking for trouble.

Chris steps closer. "You know what that does to me?" He took your face gently in his hands, thumbs dragging over your cheekbones. His gaze burned right through you. "You don't even have to say anything. You look at me like that, and I lose my fucking mind"

You barely whispered his name before he kissed you, deep, slow, his body already pressing you back towards the bed. He kissed like he was telling a secret, like the more his mouth moved against yours, the more you'd understand just how far gone he was for you.

You were breathless when you hit the mattress. He pulled back just long enough to look at you, sprawled, flushed, chest rising and falling beneath that shirt and smirked. "Bet you already know what I'm thinking."

His hand slid down, dragging the hem of the shirt up over your hips. "I wanna take my time with you tonight." His thumbs brushed your inner thigh just enough to make you twitch. "I wanna feel you. Every inch.. And then?" His lips were at your ear again when he says. "I wanna stay." Your legs clenched.

"I wanna bury myself into you so deep, baby, you don't forget what I feel like for days"

He kissed you again, slower this time, groaning into your mouth when your hips arched into his touch. He guided his hand down to where you needed him most, palm resting there, possessive and warm.

"So wet already," he murmured, like it hurt him. "You don't even know what you're doing to me, huh?"

You whimpered when he pressed down ever so slightly. His hand was big, his grip even firmer, but he was still waiting. Still making you wait.

"I know you want it. You're not fooling me" Chris kissed your collarbone now, mouthing at your skin like he was leaving a trail of silent promises. "Tell me you want it, princess."

"Want what?" you whispered, teasing even as your thighs trembled.

His laugh was soft, yet dangerous. "You know" He pulled back to meet your gaze, eyes dark and unrelenting. "You want me to fill you."

Your breath hitched. "Don't you?" His thumb rubbed slow, dangerous circles on your inner thigh. "Want me to stay in you. Want me to make sure it takes."

You could barely breathe. He kissed you again, rougher this time. His voice in your ear made your whole body burn. "One day, Baby," he whispered, "I'm gonna give it to you. I'm gonna fill you so deep you'll feel me for weeks. Gonna watch you swell with me. Watch you carry what we made"

You whimpered again, nails digging into his arms. He groaned into your skin. "Say the word, and I'll make it happen tonight."

this fun was so fun to write! reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated ❤️ if you have any requests please submit them to my inbox! love you all, thanks

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[bunny-jpeg]

hi bunny!! please may i order swiss roll with a side of tonic water and mocha coffee served by fernando? and please make it spicy!! 🤍

bakery menu

orders are still open! hit me up! i've been writing a lot more and i love creating these little pieces for you! thank you to all who have submitted, i am working tirelessly to get through all of them! so thank you! from this lovely anon, thank you! i love a good fernando alonso fic in my inbox, fans of his always have the most interesting orders, haha! especially with the swiss roll prompt! wow!

swiss roll ("everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you.") + tonic water (age gap) + mocha coffee (breeding kink) served by fernando alonso (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, breeding kink, age gap (20s/40s), sugar daddy-adjacent, mentions of children & pregnancy, alonso likes having power over you, slight baby trapping, sub/dom

when your university friends told you getting involved a man almost double your age was a bad idea, you simply scoffed it off. in a bit of fairness you had little dollar signs in your eyes when fernando first started to spoil you. his praise was a fountain that kept you full.

but everything came with a price tag, pequeña paloma and after three years of messing around, fernando expected a return on investment.

"you know, you're getting up their in age, alonso." he heard over dinner. it made the man laugh against his wine glass with his other hand on your lower back. your shifted a little in your seat and kept your focus on the conversation.

the same member of the team added, "it's about time you had kids, no? you can't keep racing forever. if you start now you can have the kid in racing before you know it."

you looked away briefly and tried not to blush too hard. you had been out of university for a month for summer vacation and now they were talking about children? but your fernando just laughed and said, "well, i guess we aren't getting younger. right, dove?"

he pulled you a little closer to him and rubbed your shoulder, he looked at you. those dark eyes pulled you in as always. it made you rub your thighs together with a throb that he had trained you to feel whenever he was somewhat domineering.

you nodded and giggled a little, "well you aren't." then giggled when your much older boyfriend pulled you close. he kissed you on the head and you felt his warmth. he then turned back to the team member and flashed him a grin.

it was a return on investment. fernando alonso gets involved with a pretty young thing from a pretty little private university, spoils her and gives her the attention her daddy won't. then have her get all soft with his child and be a good mother to them.

and that was what happened when you got back to your room for the night. his broad hands on your shoulders as he bent you over to touch your toes. just as he trained you, stretched you out nice a good, in more ways than one. he admired you for a moment with his stiff cock nudging against your backside.

"he was right, pequeña paloma. i'm not getting any younger. about time i have a child. and who else would i pick, but you. you're almost done school and now my live-in girlfriend. i feel like a baby would make it a home." he leaned over you and placed his large hands on your middle, "it's only fair you give me what i want. everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. i own those, so i guess that means i own you."

you nodded, "yes." and you felt something to twist in your gut before fernando made you stand up right once more. his hands on your breasts, groping them between his strong hands. you whimpered a little bit from the pain.

"that's what i like to hear." he said before he pulled back a little to undo the zipper of your dress. he didn't know why he was taking it off so delicately, you weren't going to be able to wear this form fitting number in a few months.

but don't worry, he'll get you something to show off that growing middle. once he got you in your bra and panties, you turned to face him. you looked at him and started to undo the buttons of his shirt. his hands were on your hips are you did your duty to get him undressed.

the liked the sight of you, submissive. so cute.

once you undressed him, you led him to the bed. you got up on it and crossed one leg over the other. fernando soon crowded your space and got you on the bed. laid out to perfection for him.

you said to him, "we don't have to make a baby now."

he looked at you and responded, "we have to. anything could happen tomorrow. i need to make sure that your sweet cunt is taken care of. bred to perfection." he said softly, his words left you feeling tingly all over.

you looked good under him as his eyes raked your naked body. pretty little thing. fernando's little investment. have a good place to keep his cum for years to come, but right now he wanted you to end up with a baby at your hip.

"you know you can't deny me, my love." he said softly, "you know you can't. you let me do whatever i want to you. just like your apartment, your bed, your services. i own it all, and you have to start repaying." he licked his lips and got between your legs.

you squirmed a little and held onto the soft white covers under you. fernando's cock twitched at full attention and he shifted his hips a little before he grabbed you by the legs and got them over his shoulders.

he pressed into you further, putting your knees to your chest and fully trapping you underneath. he said in a low tone, "you know how to be good for me. right? you know how to stay under me and let the man who owns you do what he pleases." he got his cock into with ease and watched your back arch.

such a beautiful sight, there was a large period of time where they weren't women like you. so willing to please a man like fernando, do anything to keep your man happy. and he in turn made sure you didn't want for anything. if him bruising your cervix means your silly little tution was covered then so be it. you just hoped that you didn't get pregnant before you finished your program.

it felt weird to have your knees so close to you while he rocked against you. his hands on either side of you as he dragged his cock in and out of you. at one point he only had the tip in before he quickly pushed it back in to the base. you felt the force of that in your chest as his cock explored your insides. you knew his cock was a cervix kisser and it was getting very familiar with yours.

a man almost double your age hitting the back of your pussy with everything he had. he was a man on a mission to make sure your cute little cunt stayed around his cock. barely touched a man before he met you, now he was promising filthy things to the woman who was going to give him the family he wanted. you'd fill out so nicely with pregnancy, a little thickness to your hips would make his cock leaky every time he saw you. he knew that you'd be kept busy with a little alonso baby toddling after you.

he eventually eventually got your ankles over his shoulders, helplessly rested against the strength of them. he groped at your breasts as he continued to fuck you. he watched your cute curves bounce with each thrust.

you whimpered, "please, frenando." your back arched a little from the intensity of his movements. how hard he gripped onto you as the bullies his cock into your sweet pussy. your heart hammered in your chest as he continued to move against you. your much older boyfriend was breeding you, he was fucking you nice and deep to make sure it all took.

if he was going to get you pregnant then he was going to go all out for it. hips tilted so gravity could work its magic and flood your pretty, younger pussy full of come. promise of a future together. don't worry, fernando would be an attentive father and he wouldn't stick you with two or more children. well, until he retires at least. then you're going back to his country with a big piece of land. and you'll be the perfect alonso wife. plus the kids to keep you busy, there won't be any time

so maybe the degree was a bad investment, you won't be able to use it for raising the little brats that you were going to have. but, he'd happily pay for a master's program if it meant that your cunt would be stained with a sheen of his cum across it. sticky dna up against the furthest parts of you thanks to your lover.

he continued to rut against you. his mouth was full of filthy promises as he moved up against you. your heart was hammering in your chest as you tried reach your climax. happily taking what fernando gave. you tried to shift a little but he pressed into your further. he kept you trapped under him as he felt his cock with in your sweet cunt. he knew he was could he could feel the heighten feeling around him. the thump of his heart as he had every intention to breed your sweet little sex.

"please. honey"

"i know, i've got you. you just let yourself finish. i'm right here. just like when i first made you come. you love this feling don't you. you want me all the time. that's why you're letting me finish inside of you. you want me."

you took him by the face and pulled him closer once more. you came around his cock with a noise leaving your chest. you felt hot all over, like a splash of pleasure through your system. your lover took you by the face and moved yoou into a searing kiss as he own pace started to stagger.

"honey."

"shh. i know, i know. i'm close." he really started to work your body was you laid there in a blessed out state. you looked beautiful even now, unaware of how quick fernando was fucking you. the bed squeaked under you two as the headboard rocked against the tacky wallpapered wall. a few more strokes and he finished inside of you with his hands on your hips. he had left pretty marks on your breasts and hips, a sign of his. as if the future child you'd carry wouldn't prove it.

you whimpered a little bit but fernando silenced you with a kiss. no need to be a whiny girl, you were supposed to behave for him. be on your plush behind and let him thrust up into you. watch those breasts bounce. but he didn't slow down once he came. instead he got you on your stomach and pressed his cock into you even further. the new angle had your toes curled.

his words were in you ears once more, it muddled your thoughts. all you could think about was your lover as you arched your back.

fernando alonso wasn't getting younger. so he was going to spend all his time making sure that you became the mother he knew you could be. <3

[soap-ify]

can you do a smut to fluff comfort where simon is overstimulating them and being super degrading and they safeword? Then Simon takes care of them and is basically just super sweet.

this has been sitting in my inbox for so long :( so sorry anon i hope you like it!!

cw — smut at first, degradation, use of safeword, gentle aftercare and lots of comfort.

simon had been frustrated that day, very frustrated after coming back from work. and you felt like trying something new for him.

“fucking slag… look at you takin’ this cock so well.” he spat bitterly, his girthy cock mercilessly ploughing into your tight cunt, his hands gripping your hips in a hard and bruising manner. “too dumb to even speak now, eh? only good for takin’ some cock.”

he had asked you so sweetly at first, if he could take his frustrations out on you, and you had agreed because you wanted to please your boyfriend so badly. plus some crappy porno made you think that rough sex can be amazing. silly reason, yeah.

but right now, all those insults spewing out of his mouth seemed genuine and scary, messing up with your head while your body was all sensitive from already orgasming a few times before. it was overwhelming, too overwhelming — and you knew that if you don’t speak up now, you’ll break down horribly anytime soon.

but god, you felt so guilty. you were supposed to be relaxing him, not turning it onto yourself.

“r-red…!” you managed to choke out, tears sliding down your cheeks as your fingers digged into his shoulder blades, causing simon to halt almost immediately.

“what?” his voice was gruff, eyes still a bit glossy from fucking you, though his grip had loosened significantly and worry was soon blooming onto his face.

“red…” you repeated weekly, lips wobbling as you quickly looked away, not wanting him to look at you crying over something like this.

simon gently eased himself out of you and rolled by your side, his calloused hands cradling your face. “oh, love… did i hurt you? was it too much?” he may have been sounding concerned and still reserved though he was internally panicking inside, wanting to rip and beat some sense into himself.

“yes,” you sniffled and nodded, your hands trembling as you leaned into his embrace, soft pants leaving your lips. “too rough..”

“fuck, m’sorry. so sorry, love. got carried away for a second, i-” he paused, his heart aching terribly with guilt and concern as he saw your face all soaked with tears. it soon dawned on him how mean he was being, even if you had agreed to it. he should’ve known that you were probably not used to this, maybe not even into it.

he slowly got up from the bed and helped you off the bed, his burly arms supporting you. he took you over to the bathroom and soon ran a warm bath for you, helping you sit in the bathtub, your little winces making his heart sink.

“i didn’t mean any of those words, y’know…” he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, his fingers gently caressing your head.

“i know…” you sniffled and smiled up at him sheepishly. “maybe i’m too soft for all that.”

simon sighed softly and sat by the edge of the bathtub, not caring about himself at all right now. all of his focus was solely on you, helping you clean yourself and dry up once you were done, dressing you in some comfortable pajamas.

once he came back after cleaning himself up, he sat down on the edge of the bed and looked over at you, his once stern brown eyes now soft with love and pain. “i’m so sorry, i mean it…”

“don’t apologise, si…” you gently wrapped your arms around his neck, his hands supporting your hips as he carefully propped you on top of him once he laid down, caressing your lower back.

“i love you… never wanna hurt you, y’know. m’so proud of you for speakin’ the safeword. so proud of you.” he smothered your head with chaste kisses, his breath caressing your skin.

“i love you too…” you mumbled softly, exhaustion soon taking over you. you let his heartbeat lull you into sleep alongside his soft murmurs, feeling safe once again.

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[bernardsbendystraws]

A WAY TO GROW YOUR ACCOUNT!!!

Throughout my entire time on Sturniolo Tumblr giving credit for inspiration has always been an issue. Copying and inspiration are NOT the same thing – if you copy + paste, that is just not right at all. However, inspiration is a good thing! For all parties!

Giving credit will boost your work. Although there is no guarantee that the original creator will interact, they’re a lot more likely too! It’s flattering to have people like your idea and interesting to see their different takes on the same thing. 

Many people have ripped off ideas to the point where people aren’t even sure who the original creator is or who made it trend. It’s incredibly frustrating. Some people don’t have bad intentions, but others do. It’s hard to tell and people get tired. I’ve reached out plenty of times nicely. Many people can attest to this. Some have ended great and good. Others have ended with me wishing I didn’t write anything in the first place. 

I’ve spoken up about this countless times. There has been no solution and I am beyond over it. Since I have a bigger account, I couldn’t prove that crediting someone would boost my account. Plenty of people said I had no evidence for the claim; “crediting will only help both parties.”

Taking matters into my own hands, I decided to do something to prove a point. This is not to create drama or anything of that sort, it is simply to educate. 

I made a brand new fresh account. To start, I credited myself for inspo, writing things I knew how to write with a lot less effort, editing, etc. Not only that, I also credited others – some who didn’t even know it was me and ended up reblogging. I interacted with it like I would’ve with any other mutual – which felt extremely odd, but again, I wanted to prove a point. 

Looking at stats, it is simple to sum up everything. Crediting will only help you. A lot. The first “snippet” I posted got 0 interaction until I reblogged it. Then – everything seemed to take off. Quickly. I created the account 6 days ago. Not even a week ago. This is all the data to backup my point: 

– 950 followers

– 2 fics over 1k notes (the only 2 fics posted at that)

– Over 7,200 notes+ total 

– Multiple anons and interactions in my inbox

The entire point of this was to prove a point, simply to educate and not be silenced because I didn’t have “facts.” Now I do. It is clear that crediting for inspo only helps both parties. Please keep this in mind when writing in the future!!!

[admirationandromantics]

Chris's Little Sister

Can you write something about Josh dating Chris’s younger sister? -anon 

Of course I can!! I think one of the best ways to incorporate the reader into the group would actually be through a sibling relationship. And like… brother’s best friend? Now that’s something I live for. I did take some inspiration from Friends, just felt like it fit. Anyways, enjoy some headcanons for this one (already written one story today, and prepping for Christmas, so don’t have that much time).

And yeah, I still got a couple of requests in my inbox, but please bear with me. I do have things to do, but will get to them when I have the time. Enjoy <3

Chris and Josh met in third grade, so no wonder that when Chris brought home this beautiful little guy, you had heart eyes. You didn’t dare to talk to him, even when he initiated the conversation. You hid behind Chris or your mom, just observing them as they played. 

As you grew older, you developed more of a friendly relationship, this was your brother’s best friend after all, you weren’t gonna fuck it up. Chris brought you when you went to the Washingtons, and you mainly spent your time with the twins. 

Of course, Josh had a soft spot for you. He liked you, felt that he had to protect you, that sort of thing. You didn’t know if it was because you were Chris’s sister or because there was something else beneath. Soon, after a little too much time without Chris, you guys figured things out. 

Stolen glances became signals for a retreat to a secluded make out spot. Secret visits, making sure not to wake his sisters as well. Small touches that no one noticed. Everything felt like fireful passion, and keeping it secret made it even more thrilling. 

Josh has also made a few suggestive comments to his friend, trying to warm him up to the idea. “No, I’m not home that day” “Is your sister home?” “Why does that matter?” “I can think of a few ways we could entertain ourselves” “You’re not going near my sister, I’ll beat your head off, no joke” “Yeah, yeah… I know” 

When the annual winter getaway came, you found yourself with a lot more space and options. You and Josh talked, always away from Chris. I mean, he would actually kill him if he did something. You spent this time being flirty, a few comments here and there, which surprised the bachelor. 

That’s when it suddenly happened. You found yourself pressed up against the wall, locking lips with Josh Washington, your brother’s best friend. But you were caught. Hannah stood like a ghost in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth agape. You both knew you had fucked up. 

“Hannah!” “Don’t fucking talk to me” “Hannah, please!” “Has this been the drive all along? Being my friend, being with me just to hook up with my brother?” 

“You hooked up with Josh?” The colour drains from your face as you hear his voice. Chris, standing there, defeated, looking down on you. Everything is fucked up, everything is bad. “Chris, please hear me out…” 

He doesn’t. He marches to Josh’s room, confronting his friend. “What the hell, Josh!” 

You run inside, putting yourself in between them. “What’s going on?” Josh whispers to you, confused by the raging blonde. “He knows” “Shit”

“How long has this been going on?” You’re both silent, wondering what the right answer to the question might be. A while, a long time. Maybe he’d go easier on you if you said it was just one time? “Oh my god, and you never told me?” He’s looking down at you, disappointment and full of sorrow. 

“Listen Chris…” “Is he forcing you to do anything?” “No!” “Has he manipulated you in any way?” “Absolutely not!” 

He’s still defeated, trying to come to terms with it all. “You have many girls head over heels for you. Why, why. Why did it have to be her?” 

You wouldn’t admit it, but you were kind of curious as well. Why you, of all people. 

“Man, I-I can’t describe it. It just happened. And I’m glad it did. I love her, and we work, we’re good together” 

You both turn your attention to Chris again, and you take hold of his hand, rubbing over the knuckles softly. “I’m sorry Chris, but I feel the same about him” 

“For goodness sake, it’ll take time for me to digest this” “Of course, we understand” “And you feel safe?” “I do” “And he hasn’t hurt you in any way?” “No” 

“That’s a lie” Beth says, standing in the doorway. “What?” “The sounds I’ve heard from his room the last few weeks…” 

The relief turns to fear again as your brother rush to tackle your boyfriend.

[heartsforkatsuki]

IM LOVING ALL THE WX BAKUGO DRABBLES AND FICS OMG I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THIS💔

If you do requests could i request a type of exes to lovers story where him and reader kinda got into it cause it seemed like he was cheating ( he wouldnt fucking do that ik its for the plot)

And he thought reader didnt trust him and stuff so it led to them kinda falling out, but they talk and makeup after maybe a few months and everythings slowly okay again 🙏🥲

why hello anon... tysm for the request!! this took a minute, i wrote it liek the day after the inbox but i didnt feel like formatting it until now LOL , here yall gooo!

just right. ｡°✩ k.bakugo

pairing; ex!katsuki x reader

content; katsuki being a stubborn asshole, cheating (sort of), cursing (duh.)

katsuki was the type of guy to be worried all the time. about his job, his friends, and especially you.

but right now? he felt at peace.

these past months were messy, and he spent each second anxious and angry at everyone in sight. but today? these past few days? they fixed everything.

you guys broke up about 6 months ago, and boy, was it messy.

he’d been staying late for work for around 3 weeks before you finally asked him about it.

“hey, kats?” you paused the tv show you were watching and looked over at him.

“yea sweets?” he looked up at you for a moment before going back to chopping vegetables for dinner.

“why’ve you been coming home so late? you usually never stay that late.” you fumbled with the hem of your pajama top.

“a lot of paperwork reports from that recent villain attack, it was a lot of injured civilians and mass crowds.” he shrugged, continuing his cooking.

after that, you let it pass for a bit, deciding it was just work. but then you started seeing him get messages from someone all the time, even at night.

you’d look over on his nightstand while he was asleep, his phone lighting up with messages.

HANAKO: Bakugo, are you awake? I need help with something.

if you weren’t suspicious before, now you definitely were.

after another week of those messages, you decided to ask him about it again.

“katsuki, who the hell is that girl who keeps texting you?” you asked, standing across the kitchen island with your arms crossed.

“what girl?” he asked as he drank his coffee.

“hanako.” you pressed.

“she’s my new secretary.” he shrugged. “remember, my last one got ill?”

“she texts you all the time. even when you’re asleep. you sure that’s just what it is?”

“y/n, what are you trying to imply?”

“i’m not implying anything, i’m just asking you a question.” you layed your hands flat on the counter. “you’ve been coming home at midnight, and when you’re home early, this chick keeps texting you.”

you look to the side where his phone is, lighting up with her name yet again.

“see?!” you threw your hands up in the air hopelessly.

“i don’t see anything because they’re isn’t anything going on.”

“god katsuki, im not blind!” you yelled, waving your hands for emphasis.

“if you seriously don’t trust me, say that!” he yelled back, slamming his mug down.

“maybe i don’t! you’ve been secretive, not coming home and not giving good explanations for it, and this stupid chick keeps blowing up your phone! she’s clearly flirting with you in those messages!”

“you went through my phone?!”

“i.. yes! fuck! i did!”

he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “you got it, y/n. you freaking got it. i’m out. if you don’t trust me , there’s nothing here anymore.”

after that, he packed his bags and left without a word. you stood, speechless. but if he was cheating, it was for the best.

and right now, you’re sitting together, curled up on the couch of that same apartment, connected by a blanket, watching your favorite movie.

katsuki thought back to how you guys ended up back here. it killed him not having you in his life, but god was he stubborn. he didn’t want to cut no contact and seem desperate, so he kept going with it.

a week ago, you ran into each other at a local bar. he was out with some kirishima and some co workers, and you were out with your girlfriends.

“y/n?” you heard behind you, as you were ordering your drinks at the bar. you recognized that voice anywhere.

you spun around, “katsuki?” you cocked your head to the left.

“how’ve you been?” he eyed you up and down. “you… look good.” he gave one firm nod.

“thanks.” you smiled, softly. god, it’s never been so hard to talk to him before. “you look.. good too.”

you guys chatted a bit, and he apologized for leaving so abruptly. he cleared everything up without really avoiding the topic, thoroughly explaining himself.

“so, yeah. to sum it up, i was an asshole. and i’m sorry.”

“no, i’m sorry, i should’ve never accused you anyways.” you shook your head, waving your hands to wave off his apology.

he paused, as if he was thinking of what to say next.

“can we try again?”

“what?” you stilled in your stool.

“can we try again? dating. i still love you, i was just being a stubborn asshole.”

“i..” you looked over to your friends at the table behind you. they were all giving you thumbs up with smiles of support so, you turned back, “yes. yea. of course.” you smiled.

now, you were watching lady and the tramp as katsuki stroked your hair and kissed your scalp.

“y/n.”

“yeah?”

“i love you, you know that?”

“i love you too.”

yeah, this felt just right.

[killuakiru]

OMG HI I love your writing! Can I request killua and gon head canons (seperate) with a reader who’s like very sweet and everything but has a hypnotic singing voice? Kinda like a siren. But she’s very sweet and usually she sues it to put people to sleep or calm somebody down. But like maybe they meet during the hunger exam? Idk I just love the idea of that for some reason. Take care!🫶

HII FINALLY BACK OMFGG m so sorry for suddenly disappearing i was prepping for finals and i am doneee !! As usual, ofcs I can do this anon 🫶 thank you for your request ! Such a cute lil prompt 🥹 Will be clearing out my inbox then sprinkle a lil ideas i have 🫡

⊹₊⋆ Serenus !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

⊹₊⋆ F!Reader x K. Zoldyck, G. Freecss ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

༉‧₊˚. Let's Start !༉‧₊˚.

༉‧₊˚. Killua Zoldyck !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Honestly, hearing your voice at first made him uneasy.

• Your voice reminded him SO much of Illumi, the hypnotizing sensation when he listened to your voice made him think you had ill intentions.

• It doesn't help that you used an ability that can make someone sleep within seconds in the First Phase of the exam. ( In your defense, he was a total weirdo, he kept staring at people in a weird way. )

• When Gon said he had befriended you let's say.. After the Trick Tower.

• He was super cautious of you, while you had such a warm presence, the whispers of rumors made him tense.

• And thus; you'd always get the cold shoulder whenever you'd interact with him. A simple gruff response with a stoic expression, or when you request something he'd hesitantly agree because you're still Gon's friend.

• Though after a few months, he had learned what 'Nen' is, you weren't so bad. He had learned to appreciate your soft presence and loved the sound of your hums whenever the two kids were going to sleep.

• When he apologized, he was just an absolute mess of embarrassment and shame.

• "My.. My bad, I just thought you had er ill intentions.." He mumbles as he rubs his head, a soft shade of scarlet forms in his cheeks as he occasionally steals glances at your face.

• You of course, accepted his apology. Who wouldn't? Killua The Zoldyck was actually apologizing– to you, no less. You felt flattered! Also because his little blush was so adorable!!

• After that, Killua and you bonded like Gon and he. There were no moments where someone was left out, well, at least a little, but you still loved both of them dearly.

• Now ! I have a feeling he'd use your voice to his benefit. In combat, he'd use you as bait! Your voice was so alluring that a lot of people would think you'd be a great victim and then from behind! Boom! Killua's sharp bloodied nails just a few centimeters from your face, and the target's dead!

• This actually happened one time, except it wasn't intended. In York New city before meeting up with Kurapika, you were almost a victim of child trafficking– so Killua had to do it! Why would he let his precious friend be abducted?!

• Another one of his benefits, is simply for his ears. Growing up, he wasn't used to such an alluring and beautiful voice, so whenever you'd talk and someone intended to cut you, he'd send them a glare and continued to listen to you.

• The effects your voice had on him was completely different from Illumi's hypnotize. He felt at peace when you'd speak to him or when you'd sing to him.

• To him, your voice is your most charming aspect.

• While other people also thought your voice was beautiful and that you were talented, to him, your voice was more than talent.

• He viewed your voice as an angelic symphony. A piece of music he'd never get bored of despite playing it over and over again.

• To him, you were art. To him, you were everything beautiful. To Killua, you were his most beloved, even if it was one sided.

༉‧₊˚. Gon Freecss ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Gon was absolutely entranced by your voice!

• He's never heard a voice like yours– how your voice sounded like a beautiful melody that scratched his brain in the right way!

• He wondered what it was– so he approached you with the brightest smile and asked about your voice, and to hear it was natural blew his mind!

• You and he got along with a simple snap! There was just this spark you two had and just clicked!

• When you two met during the Second Phase of the exam, he found you soothing a random applicant that was shivering to his core. He had tears in his eyes, crying that he didn't want to jump off that cliff for just an egg.

• Again, he was curious, but he was also so.. Mesmerized. The sight of your soft smile as you hummed a simple child's lullaby and instantly calmed the man into a slumber, he was in wonder.

• He introduced you to his little group and everything just escalated from there.

• He learned that you were a Transmutter, similarly to Killua! He thought it would fit you a lot, he could imagine little music notes surrounding you as a replacement of your aura and just attack with your voice, depending on the tune and highness of your voice!

• Well of course the children didn't know if that was possible, but you all trained diligently nonetheless!

• During the Heaven's Arena training, Gon really appreciated your voice when he was internally stressed– to the point he hadn't realized it himself.

• During the Chimera Ants, your singing was one of the few things that would always keep him at bay.

• Your soft voice that reminded him of his childhood, where he was just relaxing back in Whale Island. Your soft voice that reminded him of the group of five where everyone was complete and just goofing around the Hunter's Exam.

• He longed for that feeling again. To make reckless decisions and enjoy life.

• Ultimately, his desire to avenge Kite– the closest thing he had as a father clouded his appreciation for his friends. His rage and hatred consumed him truly, not even Killua nor you could make him budge.

• It was inevitable for the three of you to split up in the end. You knew, yet you still longed for Gon's presence. Had your feelings hadn't stayed in silence, would your outcome be different?

༉‧₊˚. End !༉‧₊˚.

Thank you for reading ! This strictly belongs to me / killuakiru and I do not give permission for you to repost on other platforms, thank you !

[deathblacksmoke]

So happy your requests are open!! I desperately need something angsty with Nick or Matt (if you want to write for him)!! Hurt/comfort preferably, nothing specific just that— I have complete faith in you 🖤🖤

hi anon! sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a year — i hope you still follow me <3 initially, it was going to be all hurt/no comfort with matty, but i can’t stomach it. how about a lot of hurt and a little bit of comfort with matty instead?

cw for discussions of a breakup, relationship troubles, hurt with a tiny side of comfort, crying, (on the way to) makin up

The shift was gradual. A painful slow slide from perfection into agony, a regression from the happy relationship you’d grown accustomed to into living in a house with someone who so often felt like a stranger.

You think maybe it started the first time you didn’t join them on tour. He had only just gotten home a few days before when he dropped it on you, and your chest had gotten heavy in a way you weren’t quite used to. The band had gotten bigger, busier, and you were proud of them — really. But you felt like you fell by the wayside. I can’t come with this time, you lied. And his face fell. He didn’t argue. But you never quite got that magic back.

He was away more and more — you stopped leaving notes on the bathroom mirror, he stopped putting notes in your lunchbox; you stopped making his breakfast in the morning, he stopped tossing your pjs in the dryer when you got in the shower.

Soon enough, you stopped considering each other at all. You were roommates. And fuck, did you miss him.

You know you need to discuss it, but the thought of even speaking to him sometimes can turn your stomach. He’s the love of your life, isn’t he? You used to think he was. When his pinky brushes yours when you’re watching tv together in silence, god, sometimes it still feels like it.

You decide tomorrow is the day, when for yet another night in a long line of countless nights, you hear the click of the living room light being turned off and the shuffle of someone settling into the couch instead of the bedroom door creaking open.

You hear the most painful sob you’ve ever heard come from anyone, not just Matt — it’s tonight.

Your heart races painfully as you pad down the stairs, barely make out his body curled up and shaking in the shadows of the house. You kneel at his side. You don’t know whether you should touch him.

“Matty,” you speak, barely above a whisper. You watch, almost cringing away as you hear his sharp intake of breath, sniffle, harsh swipe of his hand across his face. “Matty, look at me.”

He turns over, and his gaze is so vulnerable. They’re the same puppy dog eyes he’s always given to you, but it’s different this time. He’s not playing at anything — he means it. He’s hurting.

“Should I ask my parents if I can move back home? Is this done?” He asks, his voice absolutely broken, throat raspy and sore. “Can we fix this?”

He sounds so exhausted — you can’t have this talk now, not with how tired he sounds. He hasn’t been sleeping well lately. He has no idea how well you can still read him.

“Matty, we can talk about this in the morning,” you tell him. You know before you’re even done what’s going to happen, and you’re right. His face falls. “We will talk about this in the morning, but you’re not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere.”

He takes a deep breath, but his expression remains panicked. His brow furrowed in a way you’re sure will cause him a nasty headache before too long.

“Soulmates, remember?” you remind him, holding out your pinky. He links his own around yours, the closest touch you’ve had in days. “You asked how long I’d stay. I said forever. Did you forget? We pinky promised.”

You don’t take him back to bed, but he does follow a few paces behind. He curls around you so hesitantly beneath the duvet and you’re both a little stiff, still.

There’s a lot of work cut out for both of you before it’s fixed, but you’ll fix it.

You pinky promised.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.

I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.

And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.

It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.

Thanks for doing what you do here.

Kind regards,

Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess

hi anon,

I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.

first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.

having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.

herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!

I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.

personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?

or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?

or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?

you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.

you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.

please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.

take care 💜

[chimggukchim]

Share our @s so we can be bullied in our inboxes till kingdom come and be ostracized by you lot? No, thank you. I'm a Jikooker too and I've seen it happen to other Jikookers too many times just because their view of Jikook isn't "they are 100% together and practically married and monogamous towards each other for more than 10 years now"

Unfortunately this space has become too cult-like where one just can't have a slightly differing opinion about Jimin and Jungkook's relationship or express how they personally truly observe it without Jikookers losing their minds or accusing them of things, the way you guys are doing right now.

There's literally no difference between this community and the Taekooker community anymore - I've seen that crazy side turn on their own just because they had the audacity to point out the ITS talk made sense to them because for a while prior to that even they felt things weren't the same between Taekook anymore. And now it's Jikookers doing the same to other Jikookers🤦🏻‍♀

People can believe that Jikook is real while still pointing out the things they feel contradict that belief, or they can believe they were together and no longer are but still think they are special to each other, or they can believe they aren't together in what one would consider the "conventional, traditional" sense.

Taekook can never be real. That is a ship that has no real substance and was literally formed on aesthetics and vibes and had a whole false narrative attached to it that became lore over the years. A lot of people say just Jikook's existence alone cancels out Taekook, but I think even if Jimin and Jung kook didn't have the kind of dynamic they have and/or they didn't exist as a duo, Taekook still wouldn't be real. Please there's fuckall there.

I am someone who believes there's something more than platonic between Jimin and Jungkook and that Jungkook is deeply in love with Jimin, but still I agree with everything the last anon's(s') said. They *are* different from how they were before and the last few years make it hard to believe in the kind of image of them that Jikook shippers have painted for years.

We are Jikookers, we are here, we exist. Accusing us of being Taekookers won't make that shit true. We don't have to be a monolith.

First thing's first - YOU may not be a taekooker in disguise, but the other anon most likely was. And most with dumb takes are as they have a knack of using the SAME rhetoric and examples every single time, not to mention, always managing to slip in Tae somehow. Let's get that out of the way.

Now, here's the thing, anon.

I understand completely, the feelings of confusion and second-guessing whether jikook are really together or not. I have been there before, on multiple occasions. There were things in the past as it happened that made me doubt whether my suspicions about the true nature of their relationship was right. I get it.

So don't go putting words into my mouth and think that you can assume 'what kind of jikooker' I am.

Cause like I've said on multiple occasions now, I did not start out in the ARMY fandom space either as a jikooker or as a shipper. I had no clue what shipping was. And til this day, I remain an ARMY supporting all of our boys as a group before any sort of shipping enters my mind. Whenever I watch BTS content, jikook as a couple is never at the forefront of my mind. I watch them as a part of Bangtan.

There are certain moments that jikookers put on a pedestal as concrete 'proof' of a relationship, that I side-eye and hence, make no post or comment on because it does not make sense.

If tomorrow, Jimin and Jungkook were to announce they were both dating other people, I would still be happy for them because before anything, I want them to be happy. If that's with other people, so be it.

So I know me and how I perceive Jimin and Jungkook's relationship. I trust my objectivity of their relationship over yours, thank you.

Now to what you have accused most in this community of...I have honestly yet to see to the extent that you have indicated. Harassing? Bullying? Cult-like? Well, I've got news for you. You're in the wrong side of town, deary. And people who go looking there, clearly want to find what they're looking for. (toxicity, by the way)

And the way you spoke of taekookers and knowing how they behave and treat each other?...Honey, the 'normal' jikooker would NEVER EVER find themselves anywhere near taekooker spaces willingly. But you have apparently. That says a lot.

You're looking for trouble. You're going to find it.

Also...my sympathy for you lessened when you compared jikookers to the cult. Because the last time I checked, jikookers didn't go around literally harassing Tae's and JK's FAMILIES AND FRIENDS in real frigging life. So miss me with that similarity nonsense. Point out all you want about SOME jikookers not being able to handle different takes of others all you want, that's fair. I'm sure there may be the immature ones like that in this community, I'm not denying it. I assure you, they're in the minority. But the minute you go comparing any shipping community's behaviour to THAT CULT...it clearly shows loose objectivity.

So with my sincerest heart, I would advise you to change your space. You're clearly in toxic spaces, jikook and taekook-wise. This is bound to influence how you view not only jikook but more importantly, the jikook community.

There is a reason why I don't answer or comment on toxic asks. It's because it brings negativity to the jikook space. And I don't want that. I have found myself probably treading on that territory these days with this discourse. But I'll work it out to bring back the space to positivity and just focusing on Jimin and Jungkook.

Anyway, the final thing I'm going to bring up is that you all keep speaking about Jungkook and Jimin's relationship changing with no actual evidence. You all simply point out things happening now but fail to actually show a proper comparison to the past to highlight the 'CHANGE'. That's not how that works.

For instance, I can say their relationship changed in that Jungkook became a lot bolder with JImin publicly as opposed to years ago. He actively flirts with Jimin on stage when, for instance, during the Red Bullet Tour (back in 2014-2015), he didn't. Jimin did. See how easy that is? Comparison.

If you have any sound comparisons...with proper context, by all means, share. I'm up to hearing it.

PS. This does not include "they don't see each other as much" because we are not privy to how much they actually saw each other back then nor how much they did in 2022/2023.

Anyway, that's all from me. Peace!

[arjwrites]

— Heuheueheuehueeheu OK! Good to know that bc i love angst and """"dark themes""""!! And well, now I have two request ideas with Winchester!reader ☝️ I was thinking that just asking for Castiel might end up tiring for you so ONE (1) of them do not include him (this one)

Could you write a Sam&Dean x Older sister Winchester!reader angst where the reader (16) has just returned rlly injured from a hunt with her father to the point where she almost died and John is angry because she is weak while Sam(10) and Dean (14) try to help her???? She's like “I'm fine” while she's fckin bleeding on the floor 😭 — 👼 angel anon (I SIMPLY LOVE YHIS NICKNAME 🥹)

You're Not Weak - Young!Sam + Dean Winchester x Older Sister!Reader

Summary: Your little brothers are always there for you after a hunt with your father goes south.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: John Winchester-induced angst. Slight references to abuse. Fem!Reader

A/N: HI ANGEL ANON! This request has been sitting in my inbox a while, I am so sorry it took so long to get out to you! This was something new for me- I've never written young Sam and Dean so I can't decide if I'm totally happy with this. I really hope you enjoy it!

It was torture. The road in front of you stretched long and dark. Quiet hung heavy in the air since neither of you had the words to speak- John out of anger, and you out of fear. Every so often, when the car would pass under a streetlight, you would peek over to your father in the driver’s seat. The lamps would illuminate his profile just enough for you to catch the outline of his expression. Each time, it grew the pit in your stomach until you felt like you were going to cave in on yourself and disappear. At this point, he probably wouldn’t have even noticed. 

It would’ve been one thing if he had yelled at you, screamed at you, told you all the things you did wrong and all the ways that you could be better. But he didn’t. He was so silent on the drive back to the motel- the kind of silent that teetered on the precipice of something you were all too familiar with. And all the blood pouring out of your cut didn’t help the worry. You were starting to feel delirious but you dared not bring it up. John already knew you were hurt- he had watched the creature throw you to the ground and slash at your side, waiting in the background for you to handle it yourself. You- 16, a fairly new hunter, his daughter. 

“Where were you?” You had cried after he came to your rescue.

“I thought you could handle it. Turns out, you couldn’t.” 

John had broken the silence of the ride a few times, muttering things under his breath. You could make out a few things here and there- can’t trust… ridiculous… weak. But for the most part, silence prevailed the entire car ride. He didn’t even say a word when you pulled into the motel parking lot, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind him. You scrambled out of your own door, grabbing your things from the trunk and limping in behind the man, following him through the threshold into the room where Sam and Dean sat side by side on the couch.

“How’d it go? Did you get it?” Dean rose from his seat, always eager to hear about your hunts. He couldn’t ever stand staying behind. John snatched the now unloaded shotgun out of your hand and tossed at Dean, catching him off guard. He fumbled for a moment before gripping it across his chest like a soldier at attention. 

“Barely. You’re coming with me next time, Dean. Your sister can’t seem to handle herself and it’s gonna get us all killed. She can stay behind and babysit.” His tone was spiteful and dark. You knew there was something bubbling right below the surface- you and Dean shared a knowing look and a silent prayer that it wouldn’t boil over. John turned and stormed back out the front door you had just entered from. At the sound of the door’s slam, Sam’s head whipped towards you, attention now pulled from the TV show he had been engrossed in. 

You weren’t going to cry in front of your brothers. This whole ordeal had been embarrassing enough already, and you already felt weak without falling apart in front of them. You had to put on a brave face for them. It was your job to protect them, to provide a buffer between them and your father- to absorb the abuse so the two young boys wouldn’t ever have to face the aftershock. It was hard enough looking into Dean’s eyes- Dean, who understood, who knew it was now his turn to fall victim to the same fate. But when Sam- poor, innocent Sammy- trotted over from the couch asking if you were okay, a sob ripped from your lips. The impact of the sound escaping caused you to double over in pain, irritating the cut down your left side. Your brothers rushed to you in an instant, taking you by the arms to help lead you over to the bed. 

“I’m okay, it’s fine,” you protested, in a desperate attempt to save face.

But Sam and Dean didn’t listen. You hated when they had to see you like this, the poor kids patching up the damage that should have been yours alone to deal with. But by the way they stood, staring at you in earnest, you knew there would be no telling them no.  

“Dean, can you just grab me something to stop this blood?” You asked, which sent the boy running across the room and to scramble together a few things you may need. Dean’s worry for you was practical, methodical. He was quick to grab the first aid kit to help you stop the bleeding and patch back up. Watching him through the blurred vision of your tears, you thought to yourself how effectively John had trained Dean, and how great of a hunter he was going to be. It made your stomach churn. Sam, on the other hand, clung close to you. He snuggled into your good side and you wrapped an arm around his small frame. Sam’s care for you was sweet and innocent. You closed your eyes and prayed that Sam would never wind up a part of this life. That he would never feel the burn of stitching up his own wound, or the sting of your father’s hateful words.

With Sam still nestled into you, giving you a surge of comfort, Dean sat with the first aid packet, already reaching to run a disinfectant across the cut. 

“Sorry,” Dean mumbled, without pausing his task. 

“S’okay. Here, I got it,” you replied, reaching to grab the supplies from Dean, who pulled them out of your grasp.

“Relax. You’re pretty hurt, I’ll do it.”

“Dad already thinks I’m weak enough. If he walks back in here to see me letting you play nurse, I think he’ll disown me.”

“You aren’t weak,” Sam’s small voice spoke up. He looked up to you with wide eyes and continued. “You’re our big sister, you’re not weak at all.” You pushed the hair out of Sam’s eyes, ruffling it into the top of his head. 

“Thanks, Sammy,” you offered back with a smile. You were happy to have your brothers to come back to in these tough times. They each had their unique ways of being there for you, but you appreciated them both endlessly. You silently wished it could be like this forever. As much as you hated hunting with your father, it was better this way because it meant your brothers would be safe, that they would be there to help patch you up and lift your spirits when you were down.   

So there you sat with your younger brothers. Dean worked on cleaning and bandaging your injuries, while Sam told you stories all about what he was learning at school or what was happening in his favorite TV shows. The three of you sat, laughed, chatted, and everything felt like it was okay again. A while passed, and Dean’s work was long finished, but you all lingered, sat side by side by side on your bed. When the conversation finally lulled, you spoke.

“It’s late Sammy, you should get to bed.” Sam pouted in response but trudged across the room, tucking himself into the pull-out bed Dean had made for him earlier. You marveled at how it never took Sam long to fall asleep- you hoped it would stay that way, that the horrors of the world would never keep him up at night.

After Sam had gone to bed, you and Dean sat in silence, apart from the occasional pained expletives that spilled from your lips when you would shift in your seat combined with the concern that came from Dean’s. When you were sure the youngest boy had fallen asleep, Dean spoke. 

“He’s right, you know. Sammy, I mean. You aren’t weak.” 

“I fucked it up Dean, I almost got us killed.”

“You’re a good hunter. Don’t let Dad talk to you like that. Don’t let him make you feel like you’re not good enough.”

“Well, looks like I don’t have a choice. It’s your turn now,” you said with a humorless laugh. It hurt your heart to think that Dean, your kid brother, would be taking your place. But your father had been training him for years, and in a way, you knew this was coming. The second Dean was old enough, you knew the man would toss you aside in favor of your younger brother. John was always critical of you. No matter what you did, you were never good enough. To him, you were just a fill-in for Dean until he was able to step into the role himself. You knew Dean would be good at hunting- hell, he’d probably be a lot better than you. But the combination of rejection by your father and fear for your little brother weighed on your heart.

“Just be careful, Dean, okay? It’s… scary out there sometimes. You need to look out for yourself.” 

“I know. It’s what I’ve been training for. I’ll be okay.” Dean’s response was tender to match your concern, but it was also laced with a sense of pride. Dean was excited to hunt. It was as if he was stepping into a destiny he had been working towards his whole life. The familiar pit in your stomach began to grow. 

“We should get some sleep,” Dean decided. He rose, packing the first aid supplies back into the duffle bag that sat slumped by the bed. You struggled to your feet, drawing in a sharp breath, before ambling across the room to your own bed. Dean called your name.

“Yeah?” 

“Maybe it’s a good thing Dad doesn’t want you to hunt with him anymore… You deserve better than this. Than Dad. I… just want you to be happy.” The tears welled back in your eyes, but Dean continued. “Sam and I look up to you a lot. Just don’t think badly about yourself, okay? Sam will be happy to have you around.”

Throwing Dean a thankful smile, you tucked yourself into bed. Tomorrow weighed heavy on your mind- it meant dealing with your injuries, facing your father, and watching your younger brother head out on his first hunt. But tonight, you let your whole body relax. For now, you and your brothers were safe and sound. And that would have to be enough.

[liberifatalis]

I don’t know how long this was in my inbox for, I’m assuming it’s been here for like 3 years so I’m SO sorry anon lol. I’ve been going through writers block for like years at this point and I still struggle with it. 

BUT recently I’ve gotten back intowriting kinda, and since I’ve been writing a Sephiroth fic I thought I’d finally start writing headcanons again. The FF7 writing community outside of in-game ships is dry as fuck right now, especially the headcanon/reader-insert side of fandom, so hopefully you’ll enjoy this if you’re still out there anon! I apologise again TTTT

This is a mix of SFW and NSFW headcanons as it’s been a while since I’ve posted any headcanons, and my view on Sephiroth has sort of changed since the last time I posted headcanons for him, so it might be different to my previous interpretations. But I have included more spicy headcanons, so hopefully you'll enjoy!

I would like to add that while these are my own interpretations of Sephiroth, I have also been influenced by many other interpretations/headcanons of him as well! Most of these aren’t adding anything original at all, and I’d say a lot of blogs on here say about the same kind of thing in regards to him. So if anyone disagrees, that’s okay! This is all interpretation and I’m just mainly having fun.

SFW and non-SFW below All headcanons are of CrisisCore!Sephiroth

DISCLAIMER: long post below, lots of text.

SFW

I know he’s like…technically half alien, and that’s a big reason as to why he’s always felt and kind of behaved differently, but to me, he’s very very neurodivergent coded. I don’t want to use a specific label, but he’s absolutely neurodivergent to me. He’s always felt like an outcast, he stands out, he holds himself differently, he’s aloof, stoic, doesn’t really know how to say things without coming off as intense and kinda intimidating. He barely socialises with anyone other than his friends because he doesn’t really know how to. He never seeks out friendship with anyone, and he became friends with Genesis and Angeal originally because of proximity. I’m not saying the friendship wasn’t genuine, it was and he cared for them, but he’ll never be the first to initiate a friendship or anything like that – the fact that Genesis and Angeal were in SOLDIER, therefore in proximity to Sephiroth, is what sparked the friendship. He would have never been like “hey bro, let’s be buddies”. It was more like, he had to see these people regularly, so he had no choice but to socialise with them, and then he ended up finding out that they weren’t too bad and he enjoyed their company, and friendship and a deeper bond formed after that. 

He struggles to relate to people, but grows very attached to people he can relate to. Whether that’s being an orphan, being an outcast, shared hobbies,  ANYTHING. If he can find anything to relate to someone, something you can share, it sparks his interest (platonically) and will make him feel slightlyyyy more at ease around you and want to get to know you more.

A lot of people headcanon him with anxiety or PTSD, and I completely agree. He’s very neurotic. But I think that’s quite obvious if you consider his past and how he was raised. No one could come out of that completely mentally healthy and sane. He’s prone to insomnia, night terrors, panic attacks, but it’s never shown to anyone but him. In canon, we can see that he’s almost always composed and professional, and he is constantly putting in effort to maintain that demeanor. 

Has no identity outside of SOLDIER/Shinra. Him being neurodivergent also makes him struggle a lot more with this, so he’s kind of internalised being a SOLDIER and it completely defines him. Poor boy is lost.

He likes people (platonically and/or romantically) that can “keep up with him.” Zack, Genesis and Angeal were his only friends, and it makes sense. They can, at least somewhat, keep up with him. He likes a slight challenge (physically and mentally), someone that can keep his brain moving. I think he’d be amused by someone who was a bit hot-headed or blunt, as well.

Very dry sense of humour, as we see in canon. A lot of the time people can’t tell he’s joking unless they’re close with him. 

Very very intelligent and academic. Loves to read. Lil nerd. Will read encyclopedias, dictionaries, thesauruses, history books, articles, textbooks, science books, anything non-fiction. Not only does it calm his brain and his neuroticism, but he is genuinely interested in anything where he can gain knowledge. Knowledge is power, and he needs to feel powerful. He is a fast reader too, able to finish an average 500 page book in under 6 hours.

Only listens to classical music. Literally does not understand anything else. There can’t be any vocals, just instruments. 

Horrible at expressing himself honestly and genuinely, and spontaneously. Everything is carefully thought out and spoken bluntly, as if he’s reading from a textbook. He will literally stand there silently, eyes narrowed in deep thought, for a minute if he needs that time to think of a reply, because he’s not one to fumble over words. If he’s with someone (a friend or partner) who will give him the space and patience to speak openly and awkwardly, it will still take him time to be completely vulnerable. A partner who is open and vulnerable and doesn’t shy away from being a little awkward with their feelings will involuntarily demonstrate vulnerability for him, and give him an opportunity to try it for himself, and he’ll kind of learn from them.

^^^ Adding on to this point, there are so many scenes in my rough drafts of Flood & Flame where Sephiroth and reader are literally standing there staring at each other like this gif, and mulling over what they should say LMAO. A lot of these scenes made the cut, too. Just two neurodivergent folk falling in love, nothing else to see here!

Takes ages for him to get comfortable with someone and trust them. The process is easier if, as mentioned before, he can relate to you in any way, if you’re open with him first, or if you’re in proximity. Eg, if you work in Shinra or SOLDIER, you mention your mum died, you say you like swords, you mention you like combat, etc etc. It can be something so small, but because he’s neurodivergent and has felt alone his whole life, he’ll latch on to it and that will be the starting point of the friendship/relationship developing. He needs an opportunity to get  closer to you, or else it will be difficult and near impossible.

He needs to feel in control or else he’ll spiral. I don’t mean in a toxic way, as in “you’re my friend/partner so you can never look at anyone and can’t have friends and blah blah blah”, I mean it as in he needs to constantly upkeep his professional demeanour and look like he has his shit together, even if he hasn’t slept for two days and has barely eaten and has been having panic attacks. He will slip, sometimes, maybe being a bit more snarky or moody than usual, or saying/revealing something he didn’t mean to, but ultimately he has control over every facet of his being. This makes him a very intentional person, too. He means everything he says, and sticks to his word. 

He loves routine, it keeps him grounded. But this means that he dislikes change and has a hard time dealing with it. It can be as little as Shinra changing the ingredients to his shampoo and conditioner, or to what happened to Genesis and Angeal in Crisis Core – change on any scale is overwhelming to Sephiroth.

Definitely not a love at first sight kind of guy. Even if you’re like, strikingly beautiful, everyone just is when he first meets them. You’re just a person (and this isn’t in a condescending way lol) like everyone else. He could only develop romantic feelings and love for someone after getting to know them. Then he starts to see you as beautiful and so much more. It’s really sweet.

If he ever developed feelings for anyone, he wouldn’t even know he was developing feelings for a good chunk of it lol. He’d think he was just fascinated by them. Eventually he’d realise, oh shit, do I…love this person? He’d start catching on once he starts thinking of them more often and seeking out their company, and eventually when he had the impulsive urge to kiss them, he’d realise he was in too deep.

Touch starved and also kind of touch repulsed. He’s a contradiction sometimes, and it confuses him.  He’s more touch starved than he is touch repulsed, but when you haven’t had ANY physical affection all your life, and all you know is war and death and being tested on, you of course are going to go into a bit of a shock if anyone touches you. He’s used to combat, to having his guard up and being skeptical. So if you happen to brush your shoulder accidentally against his, or your hand accidentally touches his, it sends a wave of electricity throughout his entire body, almost burning him on the inside. He wants to reach out, but he stops himself. Unsure why he wants to, why he likes it, and Sephiroth not knowing something means not having the upper hand and not having control, and that makes him disgusted and disappointed in himself. 

Physical affection (platonic, romantic, sexual) will take time. He needs to let his guard down to accept it and embrace it. If he trusts you, it will be easier, but still tedious. Once he gets there, even just by a little bit, you’ll see him start to initiate affection, and then once he is fully comfortable being with you, he is obsessed with it. He is always wanting to be in your presence, just like a cat. Even if you’re not doing anything, just being able to see you and be near you is enough and what he needs; this is partly to do with wanting to know you’re safe and worrying that something is going to happen, that something is going to change and he’ll lose everything. Like I said, he needs to be in control, and if he’s around, he can stop something from going wrong.

He comes to love physical affection, it is so so calming to him and comforting. Loves to hold you and smother you. Loves to smell your hair or the soap you used in the shower, he just loves the presence and feeling of you. Eventually he is very clingy and touchy with physical affection, and it’s one way he shows his complete love and devotion. Is a big fan of cuddling (he never calls it that though) and holding your hands–kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand, lightly caressing and dragging his fingers over all the lines and landscape of your hands. Also really loves resting his forehead against yours.

Due to his upbringing and the way he is, love is all-consuming for him. He loves to the point of obsession and even possibly madness. It takes over him. He would happily let it consume him like a wildfire. He would kill for it. I don’t mean this is an inherently toxic way either, BUT this can become very destructive, and if he happens to be so very unlucky and ends up with a person who doesn’t have good intentions, then it could definitely be a bad thing and end up destructive. Now, in the fanfic/fiction side of things, this is obviously very compelling and fascinating to read, and a love like what I described is quite romantic if it’s in a genuine, passionate and non-toxic way. But I just wanted to add that disclaimer that it can become quite the opposite of romantic and be destructive if it’s not a relationship that is trying to be healthy and trying to grow. I don’t mean it in the way that Sephiroth will become abusive, I just mean that he is obsessive naturally, and that can turn out to be a positive or a negative, depending on the situation. He can be a flame that is burnt out, or a flame that burns others. 

MORE SFW + non-SFW

He’s a virgin. I said this before and I stand by it. Has never kissed anyone, has never been touched–the man hasn’t even been hugged, damn it! 

I do think, realistically, if I wanted to be 100000% accurate, I’d consider him asexual and aromantic, especially after Crisis Core timeline, and if you wanted to see him as some narcissistic, entitled, eldritch-horror sort of villain, which he very much is tbh. BUT he is half-human (to me), and I don’t think it’s far-fetched at all to believe he has urges like everyone else. So, for me, I see it the same way as I do with how he’d fall in love with someone. I don’t think he could ever be sexually/physically attracted to someone unless he was close with them and trusted them. Once he develops feelings for you, then he’d start to immediately be sexually attracted to you. Before all that, you were just another person, you just are–your body is a body, it is functioning, it just is. But then, when he has feelings for you (and as I mentioned before, he doesn’t even understand until much later that he has feelings for you), suddenly your body…it takes his breath away. Your shoulders. Your chest. Your everything; it paralyses him, almost. You are a walking goddess/god to him, so beautiful and bright he is transfixed and can’t look anywhere but at you. Your face looks like it was sculpted by an artist that was gifted with magic from the Cetra. A rare beauty, one that he cannot put into words as it is a beauty so special and intricate that no human words can do any justice. When you look up at him, smile at him, he loses sense of time and place, nothing else exists outside of the small moment you are sharing, and he only sees you. The man is a poet at heart.

Since he is a virgin, and is so damn enthralled by you, he doesn’t really know how to act lol. He looks confident and like he’s in control, but he’s not, especially the first time you do anything. The first time you kiss, you’ll have to lean in first, or give him a sign you’re wanting him to kiss you. Honestly, you’ll probably have to tell him it’s okay to kiss you. It’s just a soft, chaste kiss at first. He’s never done this, remember. But like everything, he’s highly skilled and intelligent, and kissing is natural, so once he’s confident again it doesn’t take him long to get the hang of things. 

He has many kinds of kisses. Soft ones that last long without breaking away, reminders that he’s there and he isn’t going anywhere. Other kisses that are quick, multiple long pecks, that are to tell you you’re beautiful and he’s thinking of you and he’s grateful. Then there are the passionate ones, the ones where he throws in every desire and intense feeling he can’t ever comprehend or describe, where he’s losing himself in you–kissing you as if it’s all he knows, changing the rhythm and speed because he’s in the moment. It’s as if he can’t get any closer to you/can’t get enough. Sephiroth’s passionate kisses are exactly how he is–intense, skillful, intentional, and overwhelming. He kisses with the same skill and intent he uses to wield Masamune. 

Sexually repressed boy. Sex is extremely vulnerable, and he doesn’t understand or know how to express his sexuality. At first he’s afraid he’s going to hurt you. 

The first time he has sex, he is in awe and is so curious. He focuses more on you, ignoring himself, wanting to know every contour of your body. His hands are all over, eyes focused on you, trying to gauge every reaction so he can store it in his memory. He always cares more about your pleasure than his own, and he is genuinely turned on when you are. He is slow and gentle, taking his time, and he needs your instructions to figure out what to do. 

Once he is familiar with your body, and his own, he’s literally insatiable. He needs you, every day. And since he’s SOLDIER and not completely human, the man has stamina. Jesus christ. He could go for multiple rounds and he’s good to go even after he came. He knows he’s built differently though, like a fucking tank, and unless you’re into overstimulation, he’s perfectly happy with whatever you want. 

I think a relationship with Sephiroth, that eventually includes sex, will include a lot of exploration for you both. But especially with Sephiroth. He’s never been this vulnerable and open before, never really understood his sexuality and urges and was kind of disgusted in them. But I think he’d discover a lot about himself, and it surprises him just how much desire he really has.

Sex with Sephiroth is not just fucking. It can’t be. He couldn’t have sex with someone he didn’t trust and have strong feelings for. Sex is an act of love, an act of devotion and adoration, an opportunity to tell you without words just how much he’d do for you and how deeply he loves you. Just like when he kisses you, it’s like he can’t get close enough, and even though you’re pressed against each other he still needs to be closer. 

He really loves the feeling of your bare chest against his. It almost makes him primal. 

I think he’d be really into edging, and he’d have a praise kink. He’d want to be worshiped but would also be worshiping you. It would be two people literally feeding each other’s egos lmao. I also think, considering how much control and power he does truly have, he’d also be happy to relinquish it from time to time, and enjoy a partner who’s a bit domineering and bossy, and one that takes control. So if you want to push him down on the bed, ravish him and boss him around, and ride him till the sun sets, he’ll be more than delighted. 

Loves giving head. Yes, everyone likes receiving it, but when he gives head, it’s like he’ll never be able to do it again. He goes down on you as if it’s his last day on the planet. Absolutely devours you like Shinra has ordered him to. His tongue and jaw never get tired, by the way. 

Not very loud but he does get more vocal the more you have sex. Grunts a lot and has a very deep, guttural moan. 

He’s very attuned to the senses. Sound, smell, and touch turn him on so much, and have a significant effect on him. The sound of your voice can send him into a frenzied state, and even if it’s the middle of the day and he happens to smell your perfume or scent on his sheets or his clothes, he starts to go crazy. 

More often than not he has to tie up his hair every time you have sex or he goes down on you. It always gets in the way, and you do NOT want to find a long strand of his hair in between anywhere. 

I can’t decide on whether he has super sperm due to Jenova’s genes or if he’s infertile. Like it’s either one or the other to me and I feel like both make sense, but still can’t quite decide on one. He’d either be the type to have sperm so strong that even birth control couldn’t stop them, or he’d be infertile and no scientific method whatsoever could help. Who knows honestly.

[shaysplanet]

Honestly, so proud of my journey with LOA and I don’t have a place personally to share. Hope you don’t mind me hopping into your inbox, but I figured it could provide motivation for others and I also just loveeeee your advice/tiktok/blog. I think it’s important to note I’m someone with a lot of trauma, because the truth is I have/had a lot of inner work that needed to be done. When I say I’m dysregulated…oh guys…I mean it. Messy. Very messy head, bad self concept- you know the drill. Locking in for a total of three weeks, I went from every affirmation sending me into a spiral of nausea and chaos to every affirmation being a calming matter. Like a light switch went off in my mind, I now feel like success IS inevitable for me. I AM my desired self, and every affirmation is not a lie, but a truth. I went from desperately seeking angel numbers, to not caring if one passes me or needing them at all. I went from desperately begging my tarot cards to give me positive affirmations I’m doing everything right, to giggling when my guides give me a card that shows I’m not feeling 100%. Because now I know that doesn’t matter. Whew…THREE WEEKS? Apparently mindset changes are EXTREMELY doable…I’m in shock and jumping for joy. I’m so grateful :)) ! Obviously, waxing and waning is normal, like I just felt a bit sad a second ago because all my hard work is done now tbh. But then I affirm, and it feels GOOD and I carry on. Holy moly 🥹 I never thought I could feel like a winner.

motivation for you beautiful people!!!! thank you for sharing anon <333

[crowlixcx]

Please god please HOW WAS MACBETH

Okay bestie lets get into it!! Obvs it's...literally Macbeth lol so I doubt i'm spoiling the plot for anyone here however if anyone reading this does have tickets and doesn't want to know anything about staging etc i suggest u avert your eyes now

Anon babes it was marvellous. David was so commanding?? he's built like a string bean but when he was up on stage he looked BIG and powerful. The character development was so nuanced, the descent into madness was manic and chaotic but eventually steady and calm - he literally snapped a little boys neck with his bare hands in the battle scene it was gruesome. I've seen one too many productions of Macbeth where its pretty much all pinned on Lady Macbeth being the brains behind the operation but it was very obvious from the start of this production that Macbeth had plenty of malicious thoughts and intentions of his own. He needed a little bit of convincing from LM but obviously your average person cannot be coerced into murder lol this man was out for blood from the START. Cush Jumbo was DIVINE and the perfect enabler, their chemistry was spicy and sensual and I loved it. They changed the script so that LM visits Lady MacDuff before the latter is murdered and its sooo good it makes Lady Macbeth so much more 3 dimensional rather than the usual evil witchy woman, it makes her human and Jumbo portrays her beautifully. It really was exciting for the production to be so intimate. The Donmar is a LOVELY black box theatre not many seats at all so you're very close to the action. This is my 5th time seeing DT on stage (prev. Much Ado About Nothing, Richard II, Don Juan in Soho & Good) and they've all been at big venues so it felt very different. The use of headphones was soooo good and it helped them keep the pace of the show (it was 1hr50 with no interval). Rather than dramatic asides like in the script the actors could whisper and it was RIGHT in your ear which made it feel very personal and dark like you were really in the character's heads. You never saw any of the visions (the dagger, the witches, banquo's ghost) which is how i always prefer it to be portrayed personally because you know... they're not actually there this man is just guilty AF and losing his grasp on reality!! But the sound effects they used in these moments were verrrry good and helped set the scene, lots of spooky music and sounds of screaming and whispering etc. And just generally through out the production you heard every. single. word. because of the headphones which was just delicious.

Final note because when u came into my inbox u were probably just expecting a simple 'yeah i really enjoyed it!!' and instead i've written a mini essay BUT in the battle scene at the end David really did win the award for most agile man in his 50s, he head-butt like 4 people and i was like...damn boy can u come over and fight me some time