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ellecdc · 7 months

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Hi gorggg can i request an angst wolfstar fic where reader is kind of insecure of her placement within their relationship? like they’re both so close already and she’s a new addition so she kinda just feels out of place.

thank you for your amazing writing!! doing the world a favor❤️❤️❤️

Hey babes! Thanks SO much for the request 'cause truly, this is my shit. Now, I have to admit that I'm obsessed with these fics that have the same vibe by moonstruckme (poly!marauders) and super-clearlysaltybouquet (poly!wolfstar), so really, they're the blueprints/inspiration for this piece

also...I'm a whore for hurt/comfort. But you asked for ANGST...so I've given you only angst and no comfort. If you want comfort, you'll have to ask for a part two 💖 hope you love it!!! UPDATE: part two is here.

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

CW: insecurities in relationship, feeling out of place, angst, hurt no comfort

It felt silly, really, to feel as sad as you did. You were currently sitting with two boys who you’ve been basically in love with for so long - two boys who have proclaimed to feel the same way about you - and on the outside you were sure this looked like a really lovely moment.

It just didn’t feel very lovely.

You didn’t think your discontentedness stemmed from anything the boys had done in particular, but even seeing the way they instinctively leaned closer to one another when anyone else approached the three of you left you feeling like an outsider looking in.

Maybe you were overthinking things. Maybe this was just your insecurities showing.

Or maybe…maybe…the three of you had made a mistake.

Maybe you weren’t cut out for polyamory; it certainly wasn’t for the weak, and it certainly wasn’t easy being the newest addition to the relationship.

You felt lost in most conversations, missing key information that inside jokes, years of friendship, and living together in the same tower - the same dorm room – led to. It felt as though they were fluent in a language you were only starting to pick up, and you didn’t want them to have to slow down for your sake. You didn’t want one of them to have to play the role of translator just for your benefit.

But then, why were you here?

You weren’t calm, relaxed, and witty like Remus. And you weren’t funny, exciting, and energetic like Sirius. They seemed to already balance each other out perfectly; maybe that’s why it felt so easy to fall into the role of a background character in your own relationship.

There was a brief ‘honeymoon’ period to your relationship; a time of public proclamations, handholding and PDA, dates, and spending every moment the three of you could together.

It was exciting.

And then it was less exciting – not to you, never to you - but it seemed to be that way for them.

Suddenly, it was dates and then them returning to their dorm – back home – without you. It was silent conversations with nothing but a look between the two of them that didn’t include you in the slightest. It was professors announcing partner projects, and them pairing together immediately which was fine, you told yourself, because you always partnered with Shelby anyway and that’s the way it had always been before.

Before.

This is the way it had always been before.

So, what were you doing here, exactly? What were you doing sitting on a blanket near the Black Lake with a book in your hand, while Sirius’ hand gripped around your ankle gently as Remus played with Sirius’ hair from where his head was laying in his lap, whilst Sirius and Remus talked about pranks, something funny that James said, and setting Peter up with some Hufflepuff girl?

You could tell you were being insecure… that you were overthinking this. You could tell you were being unreasonable because every so often, Sirius’ hand wouldn’t just be resting around your ankle, but he would squeeze it gently or rub his thumb across your Achilles tendon as if to convince himself that you were still here; still real. And every so often, Remus would move his gaze from where it laid on his own book or away from Sirius whom he was speaking with to look at you… check on you… confirm you were still there; still okay.

They cared. They had to, right? Cared that you were here? They wouldn’t have asked you otherwise, surely. They wouldn’t be making the effort to keep a hand on you, or their eyes on you. Surely, they would never have decided to open their relationship to include you in it.

But there it was…the truth.

It was their relationship. And they’d opened it up for you.

It should be the second part of that sentence that spoke to you the most, but in your mind and insecurities, the first part seemed like the whole truth.

This was their relationship.

You shouldn’t be here.

“You still with us, dove?” Remus asked gently, distracting you from your musings. You suddenly realized that your book you were holding had fallen limply into your lap and you were staring unseeingly at the Black Lake. The boys had apparently paused their conversation to look at you, and Sirius’ thumb continued its tender caressing of the soft of your joint.

“Yeah.” You said, but it came out scratchy. You cleared your throat and tried again. “Yeah, sorry, I must have zoned out for a second.”

Sirius wiggled your ankle. “Daydreaming again, huh? About us I bet.” He teased with a wink.

You wiggled your ankle back at him as he leaned his head up from Remus’ lap, lips puckered in an ask (a demand) for a kiss.

This may be fleeting, so who were you to deny him?

You leaned forward on one hand, the other still holding your book, and pressed a kiss to the black-haired boy’s lips. He smiled into it and let you go all too willingly as you leaned back and tried to focus on your book.

The air around you began to feel heavy before the sound of distant thunder permeated your hearing.

“Damn, I guess Scottish weather isn’t very reliable, hm?” Remus said as he began packing up his things.

“It’s too bad.” Sirius murmured as he began to stand. “I was having a nice time out here with you two.”

You smiled back at him as he extended a hand to help you up.

“We’re still on for a study date tomorrow after dinner, right?” He asked you when you were at your full height.

“Yeah, sure. If you guys will have me.” You responded shyly, hating that you even hinted at any of your insecurities.

Sirius scoffed in response, but it was Remus who answered. “’Course we do, dove. We’re looking forward to it.”

You felt like you should be a little embarrassed at the way your heart fluttered hopefully at the sentiment, but you focused instead on Sirius’ smile and Remus’ soft eyes as the three of you made your way back to the castle.

You hadn’t seen the boys at all today. You unfortunately slept through your alarm, making you miss breakfast completely; generally, you’d sit with Sirius, Remus, and their friends at the Gryffindor table. The two of them were no shows for lunch, so you opted to sit with Shelby instead. And it was Friday, and on Friday’s you didn’t share any classes with them, meaning by the time you made it to dinner, you’d not seen or heard from them at all.

“Hey James.” You commented as you headed towards James, Lily, and Regulus sitting at the Slytherin table. “Have you seen Rem or Sirius at all today?” Of course, you knew that he had, he lived with them.

James seemed to grimace slightly, but the expression was fleeting before he was smiling at you again.

He knew something you didn’t.

“The last I heard they were talking about your study date tonight.” He offered. You could tell he was putting on an extra show of enthusiasm for your benefit. You tried to be grateful for it, but it left a sour taste in your mouth, nonetheless.

“Okay, thank you.” You said as you turned to head to find a seat with Shelby.

“Oh, Y/N.” Lily called after you. “You’re welcome to sit with us, if you’d like?”

You grinned gratefully at Lily as she smiled kindly at you, even though your heart clenched on account of the clearly pitying offer. Was it as obvious to everyone else as it was to you that you were so out of place with Remus and Sirius? Could they all see it too?

“That’s alright. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” You called as you walked away.

The boys weren’t avoiding you, were they? Surely, they would have said something to you if there was a problem.

Although, perhaps they wouldn’t, seeing as you had clearly been spiraling for some time now and have yet to discuss it with them.

Would they even meet you in the library later? Certainly, they would have said if something came up…if you needed to reschedule.

No.

You were obviously being silly. You hadn’t seen them all day, but they hadn’t seen you either – it was just a coincidence. You were fine.

Except you weren’t fine. Because it was about seven minutes after the time you had agreed to meet them before the boys joined you in the library. Remus offered you a hasty “sorry we’re late, dove” and a squeeze of your shoulder before taking a place at the table across from you, and Sirius pecked a quick kiss into your hair and sat beside you without saying a word.

It was painfully awkward. You’d asked them how their days were – Remus answered for the both of them before he asked you how yours was in turn.

After two more (failed) attempts on your part to make conversation, the rest of the study session was spent in silence. And not a comfortable silence.

It was the kind of silence that had you checking your surroundings every so often. The kind of silence that made you feel as if bugs were crawling over your skin.

Every time you looked across at Remus, he seemed to be shooting concerned glances over at Sirius. Every time you looked in your periphery at Sirius, you could see he was zoned out, eyes rimmed and red like he’d been crying or angrily rubbing at them.

If something was wrong, they would have told you – right?

If they were regretting being with you, they wouldn’t have shown - right?

If they were going to break up with you, they wouldn’t do it in the library of all places.

Right?

Your musings were interrupted when Sirius let out a sharp breath and closed his book unceremoniously.

“Sorry guys, I’m not feeling the best. I think I’m going to pack it up.”

Remus immediately perked up, looking like he was ready to pack up too. “Okay, do you want company?”

Do you want me to come with you?

“No, that’s alright. Don’t let me impede your studying. I’ll catch up with you later, ‘kay?”

I’ll talk to you more in our dorm room when we’re alone, Remus.

“Sorry, sweets. I’ll make it up to you.” He said as he hugged you from behind and kissed your neck.

“Okay, I hope you feel better.” You offered as you awkwardly pat his arms. He gave you a half-hearted smile before quickly exiting the library.

Once his figure disappeared from your vision, you turned back to see Remus still looking towards the way Sirius just left; he was still poised as if he was ready to pack up and go after him.

You suddenly felt guilty…because if you weren’t here, he would be going… He’d be going after his boyfriend and comforting him through…whatever he’s going through.

So now, here you were keeping Remus from where he really wanted to be, and Sirius from having the support that he needs…that he deserves.

My gods, you’ve made such a terrible mistake. How did the three of you not notice?

“Sorry about that, love.” Remus mentioned quietly, offering you a half smile. “He…he got a letter from his family today. He doesn’t really talk about it with people.”

He talked about it with you, though.

“It usually takes him a day or two to sort it out before he comes back to us.”

You mean back to you, James, and Peter…

“I’ll talk to him.”

When you leave me…to go to him.

You hated even feeling petulant about it. One of the things you loved about these boys was how much they loved each other. The trust, the affection, the care…you had just hoped that somehow, you’d get to enjoy those things too.

You offered him the best smile you could muster as you turned back towards your book. You could no longer make the words out as your vision blurred, tears threatening to spill out over the arithmancy calculations spread below you.

You couldn’t keep doing this. Not to Remus, not to Sirius…and certainly not to yourself. You deserved better, all three of you did.

You were being selfish, inserting yourself into their relationship like this; demanding things from them that they didn’t owe you.

“You know what,” you offered quietly, clearing your throat as your voice came out scratchy, grating along the lump lodged in your throat. “I think I’ve gotten enough studying done for tonight.”

You stood and started piling your things together.

“Oh…are, are you sure?” Remus asked like he was willing to argue, but he too was standing and starting to pack his bag – eager to get to his dorm and check on Sirius.

“Yeah, I did some work on it at dinner as well.”

Remus grimaced slightly at that.

“I’m sorry dove, really. The three of us clearly haven’t had a great day. I’ll talk to Sirius, and I promise we’ll all be back in sync in no time.”

You looked into his eyes and saw sincerity.

Back in sync.

Were we ever in sync to begin with?

“Can I walk you to your dorm?” He asked as he made to move around the table, but he paused at you quickly shaking your head.

“No, no I’m alright. I can find my way.” You tried to joke, but it fell flat.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. No, don’t worry about it just – uhm – just make sure he’s okay for me, yeah?” You asked as you walked backwards to the door. Remus must’ve picked up something in your tone, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked you up and down.

“I really am sorry, Y/N. We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You quickly wiped away a stray tear that found its way out of your water line and gave him the biggest smile you could muster.

This was better, you thought, let everyone out of their misery.

“’Course. I’ll, uhm, I’ll see you around, Lupin.”

And you left.

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yuurivoice · 1 month

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Hi!

I’ve been a silent viewer for a little bit & I'm trying to get caught up.

While watching your housewarming stream (congrats on the new studio btw!), & seeing/hearing about some stuff from the upcoming projects you/the team have been working on, I thought of something.

From what I could tell, it sounded like there may be a definitive “main listener” character in EoE who plays a specific, significant role in the story.

So, if EoE is the world that everyone in BitterSweet, Shattered, Lost & Found, etc. originated from before they became dreamers, is the listener in EoE supposed to be an amalgamation of all the listener characters from all the other series? Like, was the listener from EoE “split” into the dreamers we now know as Boo, Rook, Casper, etc.? (Similar to how there are multiple “multiverse” variations of Finn.)

Or, will EoE be another instance where there are multiple listener characters that can branch off alongside the other original characters you introduced? (Like, Thomas gets his own listener, Evalas Finn gets his own listener, etc.)

Am I completely off with my interpretation? I fear I may be getting a little too lost in the sauce, & that I'm looking for information/lore that might not even be true or relevant.

Anyway, I’m so excited to see how all of this pieces together in the end. Keep up the incredible work!

A little lost in the sauce, but I like your gumption! Short answer, there will be multiple listeners for SOME characters. Thomas most certainly will get one, but I haven't uncovered who or why they are.

What's really different about Evalas Finn's listener is that they're not really his listener. They're a member of a group whose POV will span multiple characters and interactions and are not tied to Finn in such a way that they are constantly in his pocket. While that is a tried and true way to do ASMR Roleplay things, I wanted a silent protagonist. Someone whose motivations are their own, and not so closely aligned with the characters they share scenes with.

Finn has secluded himself and kept secrets. What I realized in the now redacted EoE entry was that creating a character who just cares about Finn, or even had some motivation but ultimately had to be with him to function wasn't going far enough. We're in a fantasy setting in a world where I could do anything, with a clean slate and tons of options. It felt silly to just play the hits when we could get really interesting.

There's a key shift behind that and I'll just put it plainly.

I don't really care about selling smut tied to Echoes of Evalas. I've given up trying to voice every cut of meat so I could moan for money. I've given up on every relationship between character and listener being perfect and occasionally horny. The machine will continue running if I can't peddle my smut, and that means...not everything has to be a perfect, sexy, agreeable situation. It can get messy.

With that freedom.......it's a whole new world of options.

Now, I say that, but there is definitely spice pretty early on buttttt...it kinda serves a narrative purpose. The intimacy isn't just something that happens and is otherwise unbothered with the plot. It leads to some things!

What I think I'll discover is that my box I put myself in before this freedom was one of my own making due to listening to a handful of voices I let get under my skin...including my own.

There is something unique about this listener, but it will be at least somewhat clear early on. At least you'll have enough to start sniffing in the right direction!

#yuurivoice #echoes of evalas

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rosyronkey · 11 months

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hi! i wrote an essay about rosy ronkey and her clothes, and i hypothesized what time period i think shes from/inspired by ^^ below if you wanna read more :))

ive been fixated (or had a special interest or whatever you want to call it) on rosy ronkey for a YEAR today. i've always been pretty interested in her outfit from an aesthetically pleasing point of view, but recently i wanted to see if i could find any trends and time periods in the inspirations of her clothes, which is what this essay is about! it’s going to be an explanation of most of her clothes, top to bottom, from what i can assume with the research i've done. i say research, but i probably don’t have the best sources? they’ll be linked below, but it was really more cross-referencing than anything else lol

i reached out to annie montgomerie for comment/criticism, but she’s obviously very busy and i enjoyed my research from a subjective point of view :)

basic specs on rosy (no one else but me cares): looking at rosy, the only zoomorphic, or animal looking, aspect of hers is her head. judging by proportions and cross-referencing, she looks to have the body of an american girl doll. this is just what i’ve noticed, but annie’s most recent stuff is way less anthropomorphized compared to rosy and the group she was made with. looking at annie’s most recent exhibit, hand me downs, every single piece is completely animal, with hand-sculpted claws, paws, wings and hooves. some of these dolls legs still look like american girl doll legs, but most everything else is animalistic. this isn’t important, but i just thought id mention it because artists’ growth over time is cool!

starting with her coat, it looks like a double-breasted red childrens’ coat with two rows of two buttons each. these kinds of coats are still available today, but i could find the closest matches by looking at 1920s childrens’ coats, specifically rothschild coats. the rothschild family has a long and complicated history, but all that’s important to know is that they are new york based (which doesn’t totally fit my assumptions about her; in general i assume all of annie montgomerie’s dolls are british because of her nationality) and they’ve been in business for over 100 years. by cross-referencing the growing style of double-breasted coats in the 1920s, and the style of rothschild childrens’ coats in ads from the time, i feel like it’s easy to assume rosy's character has this coat, or at least was very heavily inspired by it.

a theory i’ve seen before is that the ticket on her coat is a luggage label. these were used during WWII to evacuate british children during the blitz. the history press site says luggage labels listed “name, school and evacuation authority,” and is also where i got most of my information. i want to tentatively deny this theory. i'm pretty sure the ticket is an annie montgomerie staple opposed to a part of rosys' character. she's shown with the tag in the yorkshire sculpture park video, and on gerard way’s website, but she’s missing it in all the photos posted by annie montgomerie herself on facebook and instagram. almost every single annie montgomerie piece on display or for sale has a tag as well. i love this theory, and it’s probably what got me interested in researching her outfit in the first place, but i don’t think i could prove it if i tried.

other than the ticket, she has white roses on the left side of her coat and some smaller twigs? sticks? pinned to her collar. white roses symbolize purity, youthfulness, innocence, and in some contexts, respect for the departed. i couldn’t find any historical photos of children with roses in their outfits, but across the board that was the result i got for their meaning. i can’t discern what she has on her right collar for the life of me, if someone else can figure this out, PLEASE tell me

her dress is pink, with a cinched embroidered waist and a peter pan collar. peter pan collars became popular in the 1920s, and have been a staple of childrens’ dresses since (sources for this one were a few blogs and wikipedia, but also some ads, so i feel pretty confident with it.) some ads for girls’ dresses in the 1920s had the same soft pleats and embroidered waist as seen on rosys’ dress. i don’t think there’s a meaning behind the color, except that it compliments the red coat and her fur.

her stockings are standard, I couldn’t find much special meaning behind them, british children have been wearing stockings forever, and for girls especially, stockings became more popular in the 1920s as dresses got shorter. usually they were sheer and nude, and rosys’ look like the gray kind kids wear today, but i think it’s still period appropriate to an extent. her shoes look like red mary janes for american girl dolls, just more scuffed and dirtied. mary jane shoes themselves have been around for a while (called “bar shoes” originally,) but they got their name in 1904. in one of the first drafts for this, i read the fairy tale “the red shoes” to see if it offered any insight. i thought it’d be fun to relate, but it’s just a popular danish fairy tale, and it was hard for me to entertain the idea for long.

TLDR: i think rosy ronkeys outfit is inspired by british 1920s fashion!

that’s all I have! i apologize if this was underwhelming or overwhelming or whatever, i had no model to base this off of and the only tumblr essays i read are from my friends <3 i hope you enjoyed! i love rosy ronkey!

link to my dumbfuck google doc with all the links and braindump on it :)

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draco-dormiens · 9 months

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THE STRANGEST OF PLACES - Chapter Twenty One

draco x fem!ravenclaw reader / postwar au series

an: happy new year guys ♡ your kindness and patience has been very much appreciated. i hope your holidays have been wonderful, if you have celebrated :)

warnings: possible strong language, angst, unrequited love, alcohol use (characters are 18+)

wc: 4194

masterlist

taglist is now closed - i’ve officially run out of tags! thank you all

The Greengrasses Come to Tea

Days pass by rather quickly when you're miserable as sin and dreading a certain something.

Another letter from Narcissa arrived the day before the dinner was planned to go ahead. In her letter she had explained, in thorough detail, exactly how she expects the evening to go, exactly how she expects Draco to behave, and exactly when to get down on one knee.

It was so calculated Draco felt like he was reading an instruction booklet.

Nothing much had changed, apart from the fact Granger's visit did nothing but play reruns in his mind. He was pretty certain you had no idea she'd come down to see him, otherwise she wouldn't have been there. The information she gave to him had scenarios playing out in his head. What would happen if he did show up? Would you be happy? Mad? Would you kiss him, slap him, or just tell him to get the hell away from you? He likes to think you'd run into his arms, but after how foul he was, he wouldn't blame you for breaking a piece of your mind. It's not too late, Granger said.

Can he really fix this mess? Would you really love him despite his cowardice, despite him making all the wrong decisions and leaving you no choice but to turn away. Could you find it in you to forgive him?

Over the last few weeks, as you've been avoiding each other like the plague, he's come to see that he never even tried to fight for you. Never once did he prepare himself to stand up to his parents. That's not to say he hadn't thought of it, because he most certainly had, but the bravery he would need escaped him. No wonder you're finished with him, he'd once again allowed himself to be pushed along the road by someone else. You were far too good for someone like him anyway, he tells himself. Someone else out there will have the guts he doesn't possess, and fight for you, just how he should have done. With only a day left until he was made to give his life away, Draco's patience was running very thin, and even someone being within his proximity irritated him, but Astoria seemed to be oblivious to this and invaded his space regardless. He held his tongue, because he's about to spend every waking moment with the girl, but in his mind he was thinking of several ways he could disappear without anyone knowing.

"Beautiful afternoon," Astoria sighs, once again trying to brush her hand against his as they walked along the edge of the lake, "don't you think, Draco?"

He retracts his hand into his pocket. Astoria was a fan of walks, and since the engagement was settled to happen, and you were out of the picture, she'd been asking him to join her most days. Draco, feeling like, somehow, his mother was watching his every move, agreed, but hated every second of being away from his dorm room. From the corner of his eye, he could see her growing impatient with his inability to reciprocate her efforts.

"It's nice," he mutters, "always liked the lake."

"As I've heard," she smiles across at him, "didn't you befriend the giant squid in your younger years?"

Draco chuckles lightly.

"The squid is harmless, and actually enjoys the company of many students," he explains, "I'm not special, I'm afraid."

"I think you are," she compliments, and he can't help but feel a little nauseous. It's so wrong that this girls feelings are being wasted on him, "even if the squid doesn't."

Draco only smiles thinly.

"Thanks," he answers quickly. He feels her getting closer, her arm brushing his. He knows he must show some sort of willingness if this was to work, so he gestures for her to loop her arm around his. She does so in a heartbeat, and leans into him.

"So," she begins, sounding a little cautious, "you and your friend are still not speaking?"

Once the incident in the woods happened, Draco returned to the Slytherin common room looking worse than ever. His hair was a mess, his face was pale and his eyes puffy. Astoria, because why would anything be in his favour, happened to be reading in the common room when he entered looking like that. She rushed to him, of course, fussed about how upset he looked and sat him down, rubbing his arm. Draco felt so numb he didn't even feel her presence beside him, or really hear what she was saying. That's when he mumbled, staring into the fire;

"It's over. We're done."

Astoria knew in that moment, within a day, you had held your end of the bargain. It was perhaps cruel, but she felt a weight lift off her shoulders. He never questioned her about approaching you, he simply didn't have the energy for an argument. You knew, and you'd made your decision. Maybe, in some sick way, it was a blessing he didn't have to be the one to do it. He wasn't sure he could.

Draco refuses to speak about you, and Astoria knows this, but asks, in a roundabout way, if he's been reckless and gone back to you. Each time she asks, he feels his heart snap all over again, and forces out an answer that pleases his future wife.

"No," he answers shortly, and Astoria says no more on the matter. She only nods.

"Have you thought about what you might do after school?" she changes the subject as they stop at the water's edge. Gentle, little waves roll up the shore and crash by their feet, "I'm sure your exam results will be good."

"Hopefully," he says, his voice as empty as always, "the Ministry, maybe. Or something in medicine. Haven't decided yet."

"You'll be great, no matter what you do," she said, looking up at him with longing eyes. He looks back at her, another guilty feeling taking over him, "you're wonderful, Draco."

From the way she's looking at him, he knows what the girl is asking. It's not the first time she's looked at him that way, either. She wants him to kiss her. To show her that this decision is the right one, and that she's worthy. God, he feels like a criminal. He moves his head to look over the water, but Astoria's hand brings his gaze back to her. The look in her face tells him her patience is running rather thin, too.

"Draco," she whispers to him, fingers tracing his jaw. The only touch he can feel is yours, "you know we have to at some point, right? And tomorrow, they'll expect it."

He feels like he's being unfaithful. Her eyes are screaming it, asking him to lean in and take her as his wife. To accept her. Draco feels lightheaded, like he might pass out at any minute, when she's gently pulling him down to her level. Her lips almost brush his when Draco puts his hand on her wrist lightly, stopping all her movements.

"I can't," he whispers hoarsely, and Astoria's face drops, "I'm sorry, 'Storia. I can't kiss you."

"Because of her," Astoria mutters almost bitterly.

This was affecting her, too. He knew that, and just how unfair his behaviour must seem to her.

"I can't help it," he takes in a shaky breath, "I'm still... I'm not over it yet. I understand it's not what you want to hear, and I'm deeply sorry for that. I just... I- I need time."

She nods, and remains close, but she doesn't pressure him anymore. He can see, that even she is doubting his ability to see this through. He tries to move away, but she holds on to him. She needs someone right now, so they stay like that for a while. It was the least he could do for her, offer some comfort, so he rubs her back soothingly and she leans into him. From the corner of his eye, he sees two figures approaching them from a far. He focuses his eyes to see who it was, and his heart drops to the very pit of his stomach.

It's Granger, and you.

Astoria rests her head against his chest, unaware of their company. All he can do is stare back at you, and Granger tugs the arm of your sweater. Without taking your eyes from his, the two of you double back, and walk in the opposite direction. Once you've processed the image before you, you're turning away, rushing before Granger as she picks up pace to walk beside you. If he was feeling any kind of guilt, he was feeling worse than ever now.

"On the one day I convince you to actually come outside," Hermione huffs and puffs as she tries to keep up with your incredibly quick pace, "I can't believe it. I really can't."

"It's fine," you mumble miserably, quickening your pace to get as far away as possible, "this is mostly my doing, anyway."

"There you go again, blaming yourself," Hermione pants, "he's no saint in this, you know. He's just as responsible."

"That somehow doesn't help," you said, now marching back towards the castle, "this feeling... it doesn't make it go away. Ever. The guilt."

"After this weekend, you'll never have to see them again," said Hermione, desperately trying to keep up with you, "and I know that sounds awful, but being away from him, from this school, and the ever growing fear of running into them, might be what you need."

You stop at the edge of the school grounds, Hermione coming to a halt behind you. Hogwarts looked gloomy, even under the midsummer sun. Even in the hazy afternoon sunshine, in the warm and sweet air, it seemed miserable. Graduation was approaching quick and fast. Families and guests of the school will be arriving over the next couple of days, readying for a day of celebration when Saturday rolls around. There was nothing more sickening than that thought right now. Your mother had owled over freshly pressed robes and presents from family members. Flowers, cards, chocolates. Happy little messages and congratulations.

Shame you can't seem to enjoy such a pivotal time.

"Someone up there hates me," you mumble, and Hermione's hand rests against your shoulder.

"Well, someone down here doesn't," she says kindly, and you turn to face her, etching a smile across your solemn face, "and no one at the dinner tomorrow does. In fact, Ron owled me to say how excited he was to see you. I'm sure it's the same for everyone else, too. You're not alone, Y/N. There are so many people who wish you happiness."

"Thanks, 'Mione," you mutter softly, and then look back up at the towering heights of the castle as Hermione starts to walk ahead of you. A gentle breeze ruffles your hair, as two birds soar across the sky to disappear behind a tower. You take a deep breath, and exhale slowly, before whispering to yourself, "in another life, Draco. In another life."

The day breaks into blistering sunshine and clear blue skies. Friday morning greeted the grounds of Malfoy manor with the sound of whistling birds and fresh, crisp air. The flowers were in bloom; brilliant shades of red, pink and yellow. Rather a contrast to the glooming building in the distance. Watering cans, seemingly moving by themselves, sprinkled water over the petals and the neatly trimmed shrubbery as they danced across the gardens. The dark and dreary exterior of his childhood home looked evermore depressing as Draco stood just beyond the gates, gathering the will to enter the front door. Just inside, no doubt, his mother was ordering the house elf to fold napkins and polish cutlery. His father, he presumes, would be tucked away in his study, out of the way and minding his own business. He expects his mother has arranged more house elves to prepare the dining room for what some might say is a wondrous occasion.

Her son was getting engaged, after all. To the woman she had desired, no less.

Draco drags himself to the front door, and with a small flick of his hand, the large piece of oak begins to scrape along the tiled floor, revealing the foyer. His mother had freshly picked flowers decorating the entryway and lined along the corridors. The giant windows cast gorgeous rays of gold into the dark hallways, specs of dust floating in the light as he made his way towards his room. He could at least get a little bit of time alone before the dreaded dinner.

Or, at least, he thought he could.

"Draco," he hears his mother's voice call from the other end of the hallway, hand clasped around the handle of his bedroom door, "I had no idea you were here," Narcissa said as she crosses the space between them, "Why are you hiding in there? Are you feeling well?"

She presses her palm to his forehead, looks at his throat as she instructs him to say ah, darling, and feels under his jaw. With a perplexed look, she huffs, holding his face in her hands.

"Do you need to lay down? You look pale, sweetheart. Is everything alright? Is it nerves?"

Her eyes were kind. When his mother showed her true affection for him, it was oddly warming. Draco knew his mother loved him - that's why he was feeling this pain. That's why she was breaking her back to make sure he became a respectable pureblood, because she knew how it felt to be shunned and whispered about in the street. She knew how it felt to have the world watching as your reputation crashed and burned in a courtroom full of judgmental faces. More than anything, did she want him to avoid that. The less pain he had the better, and yet, because of her divine protection, Draco had never felt so much pain in his life.

"I just need to rest before tonight," he smiles thinly, "please, don't worry yourself."

Narcissa doesn't stop him from turning the handle and disappearing behind the dark wood door. His room came into view; green satin sheets neatly made up on his bed, fresh towels folded at the end and his suit for the evening freshly pressed and hanging from his wardrobe. His belongings were exactly where he had left them; papers on his desk, half read book on the bedside table and his curtains shut. Draco pulls back the long, heavy material from his bedroom window to look down at the grounds below. Glorious sunshine. Water fountain gently trickling in the middle of the maze that was his back garden. A few house elves were trimming the hedges. It's a shame really, because when you were a guest in his house, it was near freezing and covered in thick white snow outside. You never got to see the garden in its full glory. He wonders what you're doing now, if you're already at Weasley's house. Surely having a better time that he was...

Right?

"What do you mean you're not coming?"

Hermione bellows over the muggle phone that Mr Weasley has. Her hands were covered in batter, her apron speckled with flour as Ron and George attempt to hang the "Happy Gradation!" bunting over the dining table (Mrs Weasley, in a rush, had forgotten the 'u'.)

"I thought we'd gone over this," Hermione said, leaning to speak into the phone that was sitting on the side, its cord winding back to the holder at the other end of the kitchen, "everyone would love to see you, and you'll enjoy it once you're here."

You hear a kerfuffle in the background. "I said to your right, Ron, that's your left." George's distant voice laughs, as Ron protests "Do you want to try? I'm trying not to stand on the forks." Then a clash and a bang, and George's laughter erupts into hysterics.

"Is everything alright there, 'Mione?" you ask, and she sighs irritably.

"Ron's just fallen off the table," she said nonchalantly, "anyway, back to you. I would really love it if you could make it, Y/N. It might do you good, to get out and be around familiar faces. Besides, we graduate this weekend! We need to celebrate."

"I'm not exactly a joy to be around," you said miserably, "I'd hate to be a buzzkill."

"You won't be!" Hermione reassures you, panicking slightly that if, by some grace of the Gods, Draco decides to take her advice, you won't even be there when he shows, "please, Y/N. Rethink it? You have time, it doesn't start for a few more hours."

"I'll... think on it," you mutter, but Hermione isn't convinced, "please don't think I'm not grateful to you all. What you're doing is lovely and I do want to celebrate with everyone."

"I know," Hermione's kind voice said over the noise; George's roaring laughter and Ron's angry chuntering just audible,"I understand. Just promise me you'll think more about it before making a decision?"

There's a silence, as you stare out of your living room window, a white lie rolling off your tongue.

"Yeah," you breathe, smiling sadly on the other end, "I promise."

Night crawls in like a bad omen, seeping darkness into the unlit parts of the Malfoy's home; lamps and candles now lighting the long hallways, dining hall and main drawing room. The huge windows cast light across the dark grounds, the humid summer heat still hanging in the air. The antique clock on Draco's bedside table ticks, and ticks, and ticks. He fixes his tie one last time. Smooths down his hair, his suit, and takes a long, raggedy breath.

Grangers words still circle his mind.

There was one last chance still lingering, waiting for his hands to grasp it. He took a long hard look in the mirror at his pale complexion, something that never seemed to change about him after all these years. Still pasty, eyes still sharp and greyish blue, hair still thick and fair. The only thing that ever seemed to change about Draco was his age; the rest of him, even his bitterness, never faltered. Although, even those around him were not blind to the way he had softened - despite him always being Malfoy, his hard demeanour and nasty glare weren't as they once were. Something, or someone, rather, had managed to shift him slightly.

But to Draco, as he looks into the mirror, dressed in his best, all he could see was the same old coward. The same old Malfoy.

"Draco, dear," a loud knock on his door tore his eyes away from the reflection, "they'll be here any minute, I need you down in the foyer to greet them."

"Yes, mother," he calls back, slipping the tiny velvet box on his desk into his pocket and leaving the safety of his bedroom.

The house was filled with the sweet aroma of summer flowers, grown in his mothers flower beds and arranged by the house elf for tonight's festivities. Candles and sconces lit his way, and he entered the main foyer to stand beside the large oak doors that Astoria Greengrass was no doubt about to walk through. He thinks back on Christmas, and how you showed up, in blistering cold and thick snow to bring him a simple box of chocolates. How you both drank the cellar dry and played pool like two giggling school girls. A smile creeps onto his face, just as his mother comes galloping down the staircase in a rush.

"Any moment," she mutters to herself, grabbing Draco's arm to stand beside her, directly opposite the door. One last look over her son, she smooths his tie and gives him a loving look, "so handsome," she whispers, pinching his cheek lightly as he grimaces at the gesture.

Then a loud, almost nautisating bell rings throughout the foyer, and Draco's stomach drops. Narcissa hurries over, and with a flick of her hand, the door scrapes along the tiled floor to reveal Mr and Mrs Greengrass, Daphne Greengrass, and her younger sister, Astoria Greengrass.

"Ah, how wonderful it is to see you, Mr and Mrs Greengrass, please, do come in." Narcissa graciously moves aside, as Draco extends his hand to Astoria's father, kisses her mother's hand and gives his old classmate Daphne a little bow.

"Daph," he smiles thinly, and she curtsies in return.

"Draco," she greets him kindly, "it's been a while."

"Yeah, just a little," he jokes with a lifeless chuckle, "you look well."

"Thank you," she nudges him on the arm, "and so do you. But, you've always scrubbed up well. Remember the Yule Ball? Gosh, I regret that gigantic pink gown to this day."

The two remenice a little while as Astoria stands at a comfortable distance, watching Draco's every move whilst speaking to her older sister. They laugh about some past memories as young Slytherins, until Daphne finally remembers why she's there.

"Oh, Merlin, listen to me ramble," she says, turning to face her little sister, "I'm sure it's my kid sister you really want to speak to. Right, 'Storia? You've done nothing but talk about Dr-"

"Shut it," Astoria, red cheeked, snapped quietly to her sister, before giving Draco a kind, almost reassuring smile, "good evening, Draco."

"Evening, 'Storia," he reaches out to press a kiss to her hand politely, "you look lovely."

She blushed a furious red, and in true Slytherin fashion, Daphne started chuckling to herself, opening her mouth to comment on her sisters tomato face when the tiny house elf that lived at the Malfoy residence offered to take the ladies coats. A look of relief washed over Astoria, thankful at the interruption. Drinks were poured in the drawing room, Lucius discussing current Ministry affairs with Mr Greengrass as Narcissa gave Mrs Greengrass a very lengthy description of the many portraits on the walls. Astoria excused herself to use the restroom, giving Draco a moment's peace after she talked and talked and talked about her interest in becoming an activist for magical creatures in captivity. As noble as her cause was, Draco was bored to tears. Then the couch dipped down beside him, and he looks up to see Daphne had claimed her sisters spot, a knowing smirk at her lips.

"You're so miserable, do you know that, Malfoy?" She says, swirling sparkling wine in her glass. Draco chokes on his.

"Excuse me?" he coughs, "you do realise you're in my house, drinking my wine as you insult me.”

She laughed.

"Oh stop being so uptight," she said. Daphne had known Draco for many years, and as a result of that, knew his tell tale signs. She was in his circle of friends, and Pansy stuck herself to Daphne just as much as she did Draco. Her fair share of childhood mischief was done with Draco at her side. Parties and celebrations as children were spent sneaking about their parents houses and making trouble for the guests. All those years had gone now, though, but Daphne was still someone Draco remembered fondly, even if he was marrying her sister unwillingly. But Daphne, unlike her sister, had the qualities of a true Slytherin, and nothing, absolutely nothing, got past her, "you do look bloody miserable. What's wrong? Wait, don't tell me. 'Storia's been talking your ear off about magical creatures rights, hasn't she? Girl's about as interesting as a mop bucket."

Draco can't help but chuckle at that, and Daphne smiles over her glass at her old friend.

"Her hearts in the right place, Daph," Draco then defends the poor girl, who isn't even present to do it herself, "it's just... not for me, that's all."

"Sure enough, but my God, she needs a hobby, Dray," Daphne shakes her head, and the nickname was nice to hear from someone other than Pansy. It had some good memories attached to it, as well, "and so do you, by the sounds of it. All I've heard from 'Storia is how much time you spend in your damn room."

"It's called studying, Daphne," Draco points out, finishing his last drop of wine, "I didn't go back to Hogwarts to just sit around, you know."

"Oh, really?" she says sarcastically, "here's me thinking you just fancied a change in scenery," she sips her drink, noticing Draco's glare from the corner of her eye. "So," she then goes to say, "tell me. Why are you doing this, exactly?"

Draco almost gets whiplash from how quickly he turns his head.

"What?"

"I asked why you're doing this," Daphne repeats nonchalantly, "you clearly don't want to be here. I'm not saying that my sister isn't a catch, because for the right guy, I'm sure she is, but for you... I guess I thought you'd be against all this arranged marriage nonsense."

"I am," he mutters bitterly, deciding to stare hard into the fire instead of face Daphne anymore, because, as usual, her observation was off the charts, "but I don't want to disappoint anyone."

"But you're happy to disappoint yourself?"

He swallows thickly. Daphne sips her wine and watches as he squirms under pressure, how he still plays with his fingers when he gets nervous. Then, she shrugs, sighs, and gets up from her seat, "better get ready for dinner. Nice talking, Dray."

As quickly as Daphne left, Astoria reappears, sitting awfully close to Draco as she fills up his glass with wine she had collected along the way.

"So," she says, sitting back comfortably beside him, "what did I miss?"

disclaimer: i do not own hp or any of the characters in this story

tags:

if your name is bold - i either couldn’t tag you or i’ve hit the tag limit :( sorry lovelies ♡

@lovesanimals0000 @cappgyuccino @lightning1ce @onlygetaway @honeyyypeach @namelesslosers @ghostyv @mikadorbs @redactedhimbo @morganadpl @scarecrowscaresthomas @camille-1019 @valkyrie418 @animeloverfreak310 @budugu @marplest @torresbarnes @bunny24sstuff @champagneesupernova @serafilms @siriusly-parker-main @lovely-maryj @i-bitch-you-bitch @astablacksword @sun-fiower-seed @tinafuentes @venusjustleft @omgitstatertot @aangsupremacy @ilovezy @leclerc16s @aslanvez @talesofadragon @3vasaur @the-skys-musical-echo @yeolsbubbles @idk-dolans @xx-kiraa-xx @sunbruized @vinkiesz @snickersmee @fandomrulesall-blog @astheraa @idkatee @marsanhwa @vintageoldfashion @63sucker @j-n-i-c-o-l-e @anarchistsons @smallsweetvanillabean @newbooksmell777 @tangomangroves @neoteezrenyoung @l0v3lies @delusionally-loveless-by-choice @higanbanagirl @ace152435 @arcanebabe @slythermuf @hea-vin @zucchinimalfoy

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ratlesshonret · 10 months

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Song Analysis - Children of the City

Part 0 - My Ramblings, or Whatever

Hello everyone, my name is Honret, and today I am going to be doing the long-awaited Children of the City analysis that I have been teasing for far too long.

Of course, this isn't my first rodeo with song analysis. I've analyzed quite a lot of mili songs on r/mili, over on Reddit. So why am I doing this on tumblr? Partially for reach/exposure (r/mili is tiny,) and partially because I'm liking using Reddit less and less every day.

If people like this post, I might do more, or even repost my old analysis pieces on r/mili over here so they can be archived in a neater way.

Anyway, let us get on to the actual song. This analysis will contain spoilers for Library of Ruina.

Part 1 - Analysis of the Lyrics

This song is arguably rather short in terms of number of lyrics for a mili song, so let's get right into it.

Also, to get this out of the way immediately, this is a Character Song for Yan Vismok from Library of Ruina. If you're reading this, you probably already know that, but if not then it is very important information to know.

Sleep for a total of eight-hundred hours per day And drink a liter of milk Warm-up before you go play

Immediately, this beginning part seems to be almost satirizing the nature of the Prescripts. Obviously, sleeping for 800 hours in a day isn't possible, and drinking an entire liter of milk is uncomfortable for most, but they feel like things a Prescript would order someone to do. After all, they frequently demand impossible and seemingly random actions from the recipient.

Only eat or write Or pull the trigger with your right hand Only thing that's left Is to work on following commands

This next section seems to be referencing the suppression of left-handed people in the past, and relating that to the oppressive nature of the Prescripts. They order you to do uncomfortable things you might not be skilled at, just like a left-handed person may have been ordered to eat or write with their right hand.

The second half ties it back into the main theme by making it about following commands. The people who follow the Prescripts are, in a way, constantly being commanded to do things, with the fear of death if they don't follow. In that way, they're constantly being trained to unquestioningly obey a higher power, just as left-handed people were made to obey the command to be right-handed.

(This part also makes me headcanon Yan as a leftie)

By the time you realize You'll be restrained to a desk And with your dreams on the floor, you comply Eyes chained to the test Find a groom or bride, bonus if brunette In ninety hours, spill their insides Paint your room picturesque

This section is long, so like the last part, I'll split it into two halves.

The first part seems to broadly reference life in The City itself. By the time you've realized you're being trained to follow random commands, you're already figuratively tied to a desk, your only option to comply further with the commands due to having already given up so much.

Yan himself seems to have given up a lot to the Prescripts. Its heavily implied he's killed loved ones, and done other horrible things just for the Prescripts, with his only reward being to become the Messenger who delivers Prescripts to others just like him.

With his dreams figuratively on the floor due to the Prescripts, all he can do is comply.

The next lines seem to continue to drive in the ludicrous nature of the Prescripts. Finding someone to marry within ninety hours is a tall order, especially if you're encouraged to focus on just brunettes. And of course, the typically-violent nature of the Prescripts is also brought up, with the next command in this sequence being to kill the very person you just married. Its also a massive tonal shift in the song.

Now it's time for another vendetta Going through the shelves, picking out my pre-written persona Children of the city sees only the neon stars Reflected upon the murky gutter sky Don't ask me why I desperately wish to be included in The City's night

The first line here might be referencing how Yan has picked up a lot of vendettas in his time delivering the Prescripts. Or at the very least, he feels like people hate him for delivering their Prescripts, just as he hates the Prescripts themselves. After that, the part about a pre-written persona seems to imply that Yan is never being his true self. All he can do to avoid the pain of what the Prescripts demand is to pretend to be someone else, a persona.

This next part is likely a metaphor, and one that I've still had trouble parsing. It could be implying that the "children of the city," which is likely those who work under the Index, or more broadly those who follow what The City desires, only see the bright neon stars, and not the dark murky gutters they're reflected in.

Finally, Yan says that he wishes to be included in The City's night, but he doesn't know why. This, to me, says that he has a secret desire to follow what The City wants of him, so that he may finally be included, rather than feel the same exclusion he's felt his entire life as a Messenger of the Index.

In four-hundred thousand meters, turn right

A nice little metaphor, comparing the Prescripts to a car's GPS system.

Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee Snippy scissors cut down the strings, I set myself free Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy

The beginning of the second half of the song here seems to be implying that Yan has definitely killed people close to him before, almost definitely because the Prescripts ordered it. Furthermore, he has been doing this from a young age, as it was "before I knew love or coffee," which very much seems to be telling me he was young.

The next part of the song seems to focus on the events that led Yan to Distort. He forged Prescripts to cut himself free and establish his own free will, but everything he chose was "by proxy," as the real Prescripts told people to follow Yan's fake Prescripts. His betrayal was forseen and intended all along, and his will was never his own.

As we suckled upon the nine-millimeter pacifier Swallowing the fact that other than to expand, we had no purpose As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires I now know I must be comfortable Being who I considered worthless

I think the part at the start of this verse seems to be implying that suicide is a common thing among people in the Index. After all, when your will isn't your own for long enough, you may consider doing something drastic to get it back, or even just to rebel, such as committing suicide. There's also probably people who have been ordered to kill themselves by the Prescripts.

The next part is more about Yan in particular. His desire to stay afloat backfired, in the sense that the very act of clinging to his free will made it hurt him even more when he realized that his actions were all just controlled by the Prescripts, and by extension, The City. So in the end, the very people who he considered worthless, those who just follow orders like sheep without caring where they're from, are in fact just the same as him, even if he didn't realize.

Follow the city's ribbon To a heart nobody seems to listen It takes my heart being broken and broken again (Broken and broken again) To know that I am the reason why (The reason why) The sufferings never end

Yet again, let's take this from the top.

The first lines are probably referring to Yan finding the "God of The City" responsible for producing the Prescripts. After all, he was following a Prescript that led him straight there, and its a place that almost nobody else knows about.

The rest of this verse seems to be Yan talking about the pain he's felt delivering Prescripts. After all, he seems to blame himself for all the pain caused by people following the Prescripts he delivers as a Messenger, which is probably why he says that its partially his fault that the suffering in The City doesn't end.

It could also be referring to his own suffering. His internal struggle for free will, to prove that his actions are his own. Every time its disproven, his heart gets broken again. But in saying his will is his own, he's also saying that him delivering Prescripts that hurt people is his own decision.

This probably ties into why he's so willing to follow the voice telling him to Distort. Once he finally has confirmation that his will is just the will of the City, that its all determined by the Prescripts from the start, he can finally remove all the blame and pain that he's been pushing onto himself and just mindlessly follow the Prescripts.

The only part of this chorus that is different from the first chorus is the final line. It seems to be saying that Yan wants The City to notice him, that he wants it to see his actions. Maybe he feels the The City noticing him would make all of his struggling worth it, or that it'd give his life some meaning.

Do not go home until you finish reading the value of e 2.71 8281 8284 5904 5235 3602 8747 1352 6624 9775 7247 0936 9995 9574 9669 6762

This part is referencing Euler's Number, which is an irrational number, meaning it never ends. The value of this number can never be read in its entirety.

He's never going home.

Part 2 - Summary

Children of the City seems to describe Yan's thoughts and struggles in his life, as he's followed the Prescripts to both his own detriment and the detriment of those around him.

Yan wants his own free will, wants his actions and destiny to be his own. But at the same time, this desire is constantly at odds with Yan's desire to not be at fault for all the pain and suffering he feels like he's caused as a Messenger of the Index, delivering the same painful Prescripts to people that he's been following his entire life.

In short, Yan is in pain. And when he finally gets confirmation that he has no will of his own, that its all the work of the random generations of The City, he finally Distorts into a form that mindlessly follows the Prescripts, feeling no guilt or pain over anything he does.

Part 3 - More of My Ramblings

I hope this analysis makes sense, and that I'm not just hallucinating these meanings to these lines. Yan is one of my favorite new characters in LoR, and I wanted to do him justice by analyzing his Character Song to prove that I am the true Yan Scholar.

If you do have feedback, I'd love to hear it. I want to fully understand this song, and by extension, Yan Vismok himself.

#library of ruina #project mili #mili #children of the city #yan vismok

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oxymorayuri · 8 months

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𝐶𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝟷𝟷

𝐹𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑡! »

𝑇𝑟𝑎𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑔𝑎𝑟 𝐷. 𝑊𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟

𝐿𝑎𝑤 ✘ ♀ 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: Katsumi Ishizuka

Story: The princess of Tanata

(Long Fic)

➽ Click on this link to see all chapters.

Spoiler: none

Warnings: none

slowburn with plot

Wordcount: 2413

Text in italics emphasizes the reader’s thoughts

Bold and italic text emphasizes Law's thoughts *~*

Tagging: @slytherinambitious - @sassyyassi - @norasincubi - @cottoncandyloverrrr - @one-piece-frvr7

A/N: Hello my sweeties ♡ Thalia is an important character in this story… Even if she's not the main character, I have big plans for her... And to be honest, I've already fallen in love with her character! Stay tuned. I already talked about her appearance in the last chapter, but I wanted to give you a picture of her, or something that matches her aesthetic. I present you; our Thalia!

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: left | right

Before you know it, a week has passed.

It's been quite an exciting week and you're amazed at how well everyone has settled in. Some friendships have formed, not only between you and them but also between the pirates and some of the citizens of Tanata.

With a smile, you think back to these days. You are glad that everyone gets along so well.

Law and Chopper told you a lot about modern medicine and you were amazed at how professional they were in their element. Every evening you met for a cup of tea in the royal family library and talked about medicine. Even though it was always a lot of informative stuff, you still go relaxed to bed and sometimes with butterflies in your stomach.. because every time Law leaned over to you, to show you something in a book, you felt the heat building up inside...

With your eyes closed, you enjoyed the memories. You sit on a bench by a large training ground and calmly swing your legs.

You finished your duties a little early and you are apparently the first to arrive at the meeting point.

Ambrosios found a really good friend among the pirates, so it seems. He met Zoro in a pub yesterday and the two of them hit it off right away, or so you think…

Because this morning Ambrosios showed up at Hera's palace full of determination and challenged Zoro to fight. If you know Ambrosios then you know that's a good sign, because he only wants to fight those he respects or puts on the same level as himself.

You are really looking forward to the fight, which is about to begin, and a few others want to watch it too.

You can hear Thalia and Nami shouting in the distance.

You get up from the bench and wave cheerfully to the women.

"And y/n, who do you think is going to win today?" With an arm around you, she pulls you close to her. She's a little shorter and you have to bend a little, but you return the hug by wrapping an arm around her too.

You think about it for a moment.

"Uhmmm, so I've known Ambrosios my whole life… He's almost as strong as Zelos and I know that through experience." Even though you were a princess, Ambrosios never treated you gently when you fought together. You were a worthy opponent to him, more like a rival.

"But when I run into Zoro, it's either that he's training or drinking. They're quite similar in that aspect, so I'm really curious… It's 50-50." You can't quite make up your mind and remain neutral.

"I'm sure Zoro will be the winner!" Nami says proudly, with her hand on her chest. Together you burst out into a laughter.

Together you take a seat on a picnic blanket that Thalia had brought with her and Nami surprised you with a basket full of tasty treats from Sanji.

Your eyes lit up at the sight of the sweets. Sanji even included a little note: "Bon appetit, ladies." he wrote in a fancy handwriting. That gentleman.

Your eyes go over to Thalia, who is delighted with the dessert. Sanji had actually prepared her favorite dessert…

The two of them have started a 'little romance' over the days...

"Tell me, Thalia.. you and Sanji? How close are you guys?" You lean over to her. Your mischievous grin crosses your face. The blonde is startled, blushing in a deep red and is about to tumble backwards, but Nami reacts quickly and catches her.

"Well, it's the same as before…" She runs her fingers through her fine blonde hair a little insecurely.

The backstory to this: This 'little romance' the two of them are having, is truly a love drama...

They write poetic letters to each other, sometimes several times a day! And when the two of them met by chance in the city or when she is with you, they would talk as if they were in their own world. From the outside, they seem like soulmates.

Totally cheesy, but it suits your best friend.

Over time, more of the pirates and friends came to the fighting ground. Bepo came running up and happily called your name. Behind him you can see Law, Shachi, Penguin and Ikkaku following.

You girls give the new arrivals a friendly wave. They joined you on the meadow. Ikkaku took a seat on the blanket and took something out of her bag.

"I've brought us something really delicious!" she happily presents the bottle of wine. Yaaaaay!

You women cheer and pour yourselves some of the wine. You talk cheerfully like teenagers while you wait for the fighters.

Ambrosios was the first to enter the square. He proudly presented himself to you ladies in his golden armor.

"Greetings, beautiful ones. Greetings, my princess." he greeted you separately and kissed your hand. You roll your eyes at him. That Casanova.

"Where is the swordsman?" He asks energetically, spreading his arms. His muscles flex at the slightest movement.

"He's probably lost again." Nami makes a remark as she calmly drinks from her glass.

Your gaze wanders across the sky. The sun flashes through the trees, creating a beautiful play of light and shadow.

"Ahh, there he is!" Ambrosio's battle ready voice brings you out of your thoughts.

Zoro and Robin come walking up. Zoro and Ambrosios greet each other with a firm handshake, their looks are serious but eager to fight. They grin at each other.

"Hey Robin! There you are! Good thing you brought Zoro, we've been waiting for ageeeees." complains a slightly drunk Thalia. She has barely finished a glass and is already tipsy but she's a lightweight when it comes to alcohol anyway. Robin laughs a little at her as she settles down and closes the gap between you and Thalia.

"Yeah, I met him on my way here. He seemed a little disoriented." - "HAH! I told you so!" sneered Nami.

While the men warmed up briefly, people chatted amongst themselves. Some placed bets on their favorite and talked about why they were betting on the person in question.

You listen intently as Penguin and Shachi argue about the possible winner and Law sits between them... The back and forth between the two and the way the captain tries to get out of their argument, brings a giggle from you.

From the side, you hear the clink of swords being unsheathed. All eyes are now on the men, as they stand opposite each other in a fighting stance. All conversations came to an end and everyone waited eagerly for the one making the first move.

You never really noticed until now, but Zoro seems to be fighting with three swords. One in each hand and the third between his teeth. Ambrosios draws his sword and holds it firmly in both hands. The huge blade reflecting in the light.

He has taken the family heirloom out of the cabinet for this fight. Remarkable. It is a sword that has been passed down in their family for generations.

Ambrosios was the first to make a move. He dashed straight at the green haired man with insane speed, his blade pointed directly at him.

Zoro continued to stand in place, his posture firm. Just before Ambrosios could swing his sword, Zoro leapt into the air and spun around to make his first move.

"Oni Giri!" Zoro tried to charge a strike from the air but Ambrosios was able to deflect it with ease. The broad blade of his sword makes it easy to dodge attacks.

With quick movements, their swords clashed constantly. It was hard to keep up, even for you. It almost seemed as if their energy was limitless and you can see the passion burning in their eyes.

They both give their all.

You can see that they both find it downright thrilling to fight with each other. Those madmen. You think.

The fight has been going on for a while now and it looks like that both are on the same level.

"Oiii ZORO! COME ON! GO, GIVE HIM ALL YOU GOT!" Luffy shouts as he jumps excitedly into the air.

The crowd cheered for their favorite every time he landed a good hit or blocked a heavy blow. The fight is even and in your eyes you're just waiting for someone to make a mistake.

You know that Ambrosios is a man of perfection, but you realize that Zoro is also an attentive opponent.

Even when the two seemed visibly out of breath, it didn't change their fighting spirit. Their pride is too great for them to back down.

After countless blows, however, the unpredictable happened.

Ambrosios fended off a strong attack and began to falter. He lost his balance and fell to the ground. Completely out of breath, Zoro stood over him. His grin almost wider than his face. With one of his swords pointed at Ambrosios, it's clear who the winner is.

"I'd say the match is over." Satisfied, he puts his swords away and gives him his arm so that Ambrosios can pull himself up. As they both stood in front of each other, the Tanata warrior placed a hand on Zoro's shoulder.

"You are an excellent swordsman, my friend." Zoro holds him firmly by the arm, returning his words.

"I can only repeat that." The two come walking arm in arm towards the cheering group. This was never about who was the strongest. It was about the passion to fight.

The two have forged a noticeable bond through the fight and both toast to their fighting with a mug of beer.

"Now that I've warmed up, I want to fight your strongest man!" Zoro announces, as if the hour of fighting just now, was a piece of cake.

Ambrosio's laughter was very hearty at first, but towards the end his laughter had a sinister edge to it...

"Zoro you are insatiable." Ambrosios lies down on the grass, his gaze directed upwards.

"If you want to fight the strongest, I'll have to disappoint you. Zelos is currently on a mission and therefore not in the city."

Zelos is still in the process of building a line of defense, in the forests of Tanata. The strange ship still seems to be circling the island and from what the king says, it is now certain that they are not trying to get out of the storm…

Zoro groans unhappily. He looks like he still has so much energy he wants to get rid of.

"But there's one more person." Your eyes go over to Ambrosio's without moving your body.

Don't you dare, Ambrosios.

He looks at you without anyone noticing. His grin widens as you shake your head slightly.

"Is it the king?" Nami asks. Ambrosios bursts out laughing loud and heartily. The young woman looks over at you, confused. You shrug your shoulders a little warily and smile gently at her. You hope that Zoro will lose interest, but unfortunately you don't know him well.

"Come on Ambrosios, spit it out, who is it?" He shakes his battle partner and looks at him expectantly. Ambrosios sits up.

"No, it's not the king. The king is strong but he's the fourth strongest in my opinion." He answers Nami's question.

The people around you are very curious and no one makes a sound.

"Zelos is the strongest man, but there is one woman who is stronger than all the others." Zelos eyes are on you and quickly you realize that everyone is looking at you.

Zoro's broad grin disappears.

"And who is this woman?" Zoro didn't seem to get the message.

Luffy joins the confusion and applies some pressure.

"That's right! Tell us, who is it!" Excited, Luffy gets very close to Ambrosios. Without any problems, he pushes the boy away from him with his hand in his face.

Annoyed, Nami groans and pulls Zoro towards her by the ears.

"THAT'S OBVIOUS, YOU IDIOT!" She scolds him. You can literally see the gears moving in Zoro's head… but there is no sign of realization. Frustrated, she lets go of him, she just can't take any more.

"It's y/n!!!" She yells at him.

In a flash, Luffy and Zoro's eyes are now on you too. Luffy looks at you with a sparkle in his eyes while Zoro's combative grin returns.

"Uhhhh hehe, well now it's out." you admit in defeat "Surprise!" you add a little uncertainly.

You feel quite uncomfortable that all the attention is on you. Of course you're excellent with a sword, but you're pretty overpowered thanks to your devil fruit.

You know how hard the others train and even think it's unfair that they call you the strongest… Of course you have trained a lot and even if your fighting technique is excellent, you think that someone else could certainly be stronger with the devil fruit.

Zoro ignores the uncertainty in your voice and stands up, only to kneel in front of you.

"Princess, please do me the honor of fighting you!" he lowers his head.

"I can't Zoro. I don't fight for pleasure." you reply softly as you cross your arms in front of you. Hastily, he looks into your eyes with a serious look.

"This is not about pleasure. It's about honor and respect. I respect you my princess, so please do me the honor and let me fight you!" His hand tightens on the hilt of his sword. His eyes flash at you with a steely determination and to your disadvantage, the people cheer in unison 'Go princess!, go princess!'.

You admit your defeat and sigh. Your eyes meet his again. You can't shake the feeling that if you don't fight him, he will annoy you until you part ways.

…Until you part ways…

"You know what, Zoro?" Who knows, maybe one day you'll regret it.

Maybe one day you'll regret not showing the pirates Tanata's strength. The ambition, courage and technique.

"LET'S FIGHT!"

You jump up and some of the people cheer and follow suit.

See you next time, kiss kiss ♡

➽ Next chapter

#trafalgar d water law #trafalgar one piece #one piece #law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar law x oc #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgardwaterlaw #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #one piece fanfiction #one piece fandom #trafalgar law

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megs-98 · 2 months

Text

Mesmeric Revelation

The Mystery of Gale Dekarios

“We’ll stop wasting your time then, Mr. Dekarios.” Mara said in a rough manner as she turned her body to let Fox and Astarion leave the room first, her fierce gaze still locked on Gale.

A/N: This is chapter 1 of a slow burn, enemies to lovers, modern au between Gale and my tav Mara! I've had so much fun writing it and appreciate the love on the snippets I've shared about it. Also! A huge, huge thank you to all my followers as I've hit 100 followers now ^_^ I appreciate each and every one of yall

Characters: Gale, Mara, Astarion x Fox (@justporo 's tav), Shadowheart, a little bit of Gortash and Orin, and a mention of Thorm I'm hoping to add all the companions eventually

Summary: It's the start of a new school year at Chiontar High and there's been talk amongst the teachers about how the esteemed Professor Dekarios from Blackstaff Academy has joined the schools faculty. After a chance encounter between Gale and Mara, leaving her less than impressed with the professor, will the two be able to start a friendship and maybe something more?

Tags: Really none for this first chapter, just a little bit of pining and Gale being a jackass

Word count: 2.8k

It was a week before the fall semester was set to start at Chionthar High School. Mara and the other teachers sat in the cafeteria as they listened to Principal Gortash and Vice Principal Orin as they attempted to talk over each other about what to expect throughout the week; have all materials printed out, classrooms ready, and a good attitude to greet students with. Fox, Astarion, and Mara were sat in the back, in the middle of their own hushed conversation.

“God, I don’t understand why Thorm keeps them around. It’s not like they get anything useful done.” Fox quipped as she checked her phone in one hand and rubbed Astarion’s back with the other.

Mara didn’t take her eyes off the athletics schedule as she said “At least we don’t have Thorm actually here. I’d rather have these two than him. We wouldn’t be able to get away with anything with Thorm here.”

Mara heard Astarion as he let out a sigh as he tightened his grip around Fox’s waist. “This is true, darling. If he were here then our ‘meetings’ would have to be especially clandestine.” He said as he nipped at Fox’s shoulder. Mara rolled her eyes and smiled as her two dearest friends cavorted with each other.

The trio resumed their conversation as they slowly grabbed their things as the meeting came to a close. Just as everyone was about to stand to leave as Principal Gortash had already left the cafeteria, Vice Principal Orin cleared her throat.

“One more important piece of information, that Mr. Gortash forgot,” she said with a sneer, “we will be having a new AP literature teacher this year. Gale Dekarios, from Black Staff Academy.” She waved her hand as she left, as if she were shooing away the teachers. There were immediate murmurs between the teachers as they left for their classrooms, Mara could hear whispers about a professor now being at their school and how disconcerting it was that he wasn’t present nor had been seen at all during summer prep.

The trio made their way to their respective classrooms slowly, knowing that they had already completed everything at Mara’s behest. As they came upon the front doors to the school, Mara collided with a man she’d never seen before. She caught the man by his arm as she kept the two of them standing.

“Fuckin’ hell, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you! Are you okay?” She asked in a frantic tone as Fox helped steady her. Mara noticed that he was shorter than her, but not by much, with ever so slightly graying dark brown medium length hair, a single dangling earring in his left ear, and the prettiest brown eyes. She glanced at Astarion after thanking Fox, he raised his eyebrows and gave her a cheeky smile as he glanced between Mara and the mysterious man. Before she could give Astarion a smack, the man answered.

“Quite alright. It appears I, also, was not being as observational as I should have been. Gale Dekarios,” he said with an outstretched hand and slightly irritated tone, “pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Mara shook his hand and introduced herself, and the other two. After their pleasantries, Gale awkwardly asked if any of them would be able to help him bring some boxes to his classroom. Mara agreed that they would all help him.

“Excuse me. Why do I have to haul his stuff around? I’ve already finished my classroom setup, maybe he should have done his summer prep and he wouldn’t be so atrociously behind.” Astarion said with a groan as he looked right at the new teacher. Mara and Fox rolled their eyes and said, “Ignore him”, at the same time, which caused the two women to chuckle as they followed Gale to his car.

“Seems you three are quite chummy, I take it you all have been teaching together for a while?” Gale asked the group as they made their way back inside.

“Bit longer than that. We all met during our freshman year of college, were in the same classes for the teaching program, and we did our student teaching here together.” Fox answered with a smile as she looked at her two favorite people. Astarion couldn’t help but smile back at her as he spoke.

“Yes, yes. We’ve all been such great friends for so long now. But the real question, Gale, is how did such a prestigious professor from Blackstaff Academy end up here?” Astarion asked as he cocked his head at the ex-professor. Gale narrowed his eyes at white haired man, silent as he contemplated his answer.

“Ease up, Astarion. Let’s not scare him off on his first day here.” Mara said to break the silence. She turned her head to Gale, “It doesn’t matter, anyway, we’re always happy to welcome newcomers.” Gale gave a small nod to her as a thank you.

Gale cleared his throat as he asked them what subjects they taught. The three each shared that Fox is the Entrepreneurship 101 teacher, Astarion taught Government, and Mara has been the underclassman and middle school PE teacher and was hopeful that she’d still be teaching an elective class. Gale simply nodded and gave a hum of acknowledgement as he followed the friends through the school.

The group continued in a comfortable silence before they came to Gale’s classroom. There was a note littered with neat and tight cursive as well as crude, barely legible writing taped to the slightly ajar door.

Mr. Dekarios, please visit my our secretary to receive your keys and to get a badge.

– Principal Gortash & Vice Principal Orin

Gale rolled his eyes and pushed the door open with his shoulder after he read the note. He looked around the classroom as he furrowed his brow. “This isn’t quite what I was expecting, if I’m being honest. It all seems a bit… small. But then again, this is a small school.” He said as he set his boxes down on his desk. He sounded increasingly more frustrated than when they had first met only minutes ago.

“It is a little small, yes, but there’s plenty of bookshelves for you. Every literature teacher we’ve had has loved this room.” Mara said as she looked for an empty spot to place the boxes.

Gale let out a loud sigh that caused the three to stop where they were.

“I understand you might not understand the difference, but I am teaching advanced. placement. literature, standard literature, as well as a philosophy elective.” He said with a sharp tone in his voice. He locked his gaze with Mara as he finished his sentence. She opened her mouth to say something to remedy the situation but Gale held his hand up. “I do not wish to be rude, but I don’t see how you could understand how my situation here is simultaneously underwhelming and overwhelming. I apologize that I do not have the time to explain the difference between the two to a middle school gym teacher at the moment.”

Fox’s eyes went wide as she listened to this stranger talk down to Mara. She took a step forward as she roughly placed the boxes down on the desk next to her. Astarion quickly took a step in front of her to keep her from lunging across the room at Gale. Mara kept her gaze on Gale as she took in everything he had just said to her, her eyebrows raised at the audacity. She startled everyone slightly as she stretched out her arms and dropped the boxes on the ground in front of her with a hard thud.

“We’ll stop wasting your time then, Mr. Dekarios.” Mara said in a rough manner as she turned her body to let Fox and Astarion leave the room first, her fierce gaze still locked on Gale. Fox grabbed Mara’s arm on the way out. She didn’t hesitate as she followed the others after she made sure to slam the door behind her. Mara widened her stride as she stormed down the hallway, her fists clenched at her sides; earning a few worried glances from the teachers that had stepped into the hallway to see what had happened.

Astarion and Fox did their best to keep up with Mara as they tried not to jog after her. They soon realized that Mara had made a beeline for Fox’s classroom as they entered the hallway; Mara opened the door to the classroom for the couple as she huffed her way in behind them, obscenities muttered under her breath. Astarion perched himself on the desk, his legs crossed while he watched Mara pace around the classroom silently and as Fox worriedly watched her beside him.

“So,” Astarion said, as he made sure to draw out the vowel, “what do we think of our new friend?” A dry chuckle escaped him as he finished his question. His lover was quick to smack him with a glare. Mara didn’t stop pacing as she gave Astarion the middle finger.

“That pompous, shit eating, jackass is not our friend.” Her pacing finally came to end as she stood in front of her two friends. “He’s just another pretentious savant with an inflated ego. There’s no point in wasting anymore energy on him.” Mara said as she ran a hand through her hair.

“Oh, boo. I was hoping you two would fight him, like you did in our college days when egotistical men wouldn’t leave the two of you alone.” Astarion said with a smile. Mara tried to keep a straight face but it quickly devolved into laughs as she and her friends reminisced on their years together.

The rest of the week passed with relative ease for Mara. She made a point to avoid the hallway Gale’s classroom was on to prevent seeing him and spent her time between the gymnasium, getting the equipment prepped for the incoming students, and Fox’s classroom as she prepared herself for another year of teaching Introduction to Ethics. She was not able to escape the new teacher all together, though. Wherever she went that weren’t her usual places, she heard talk of the man and rumors that floated around; and even worse yet, she had always listened, wanting to find out more about the mysterious teacher. As much as she hated it, her thoughts traveled back to him quite often. Mara couldn’t help but think that he was quite attractive and from what she had learned from searching his name, he was, in fact, a very accomplished literature scholar and seemed deserving of the awards that he had won throughout his career. She had a hard time convincing herself that the man she met earlier in the week was who Gale actually was and that they had just got off on the wrong foot. Mara, however, was too stubborn to be the first to admit this and had told herself he needed to be the one to apologize before she attempted to make amends.

“I hear that he was fired because so many of his students had to cheat to pass his classes. Why that doesn’t hardly sound fair though, does it? If it’s true.. the students simply leveled the playing field if he was really that bad.” Astarion said as he organized his desk for the first day of school that was just a day away. Mara sat on the floor as she stretched and Fox kept herself busy as she rearranged Astarion’s desk the moment he finished.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if he was a dickhead teacher. He had no problem talking to Mara the way that he did, I’m sure he’d have no problem talking down to students.” Fox said as she left a wake of chaos behind her on the desk.

Mara opened her mouth to say something before she was interrupted by someone stood in the doorway.

“The two of you are hardly correct. The real reason is much more salacious.” The voice came from the Psychology teacher, Jen Hallowleaf; or as she preferred to be called, Shadowheart. “He left Black Staff because he was ‘involved’ with his department head, the critically acclaimed Mystra. She was going to turn him into the ethics board after he kept asking for tenure, he couldn’t risk losing his license, so he quit and accepted a position here. Took quite a hit to his reputation from what I’ve heard.” She said as she checked over her nails.

Mara sat up from the stretch she was in, “Shadow, how would you possibly know that?” she asked with a quizzical look. Shadowheart laughed as she told the group that she had her sources. “Really? You have sources all the way in Waterdeep? That give you accurate information?” Mara continued to push, she knew that Shadowheart had a propensity to gossip and mislead.

Shadow scowled at Mara as she answered, “Of course I do, I can know just about anything about anyone anywhere after a few glasses of good wine.” Astarion looked impressed at her answer and Fox continued to watch her as her gaze flickered to Mara occasionally.

Mara was off the floor now as she leaned against the wall next to the psych teacher, arms crossed over her chest. “I see, and what else do these ‘reliable sources’ say about Mr. Dekarios?” Her voice was laced in sarcasm but her features betrayed her; her eyes stilled on the woman and a slight blush formed across her cheeks as her body tensed. Fox tapped Astarion with her foot and made a subtle motion for him to look at Mara. A glance was shared between the two as they saw a glint in Mara’s eyes, unsure if it was yearning or repugnance.

“Well,” Shadow replied, “they say he’s quite close to his mother, has a cat named Tara, I believe it was, and that he has always been quite gifted in literature. Supposedly he was Mystra’s favorite professor at one point but he wouldn’t quit asking for tenure and benefits she thought he didn’t deserve.” Shadowheart seemed quite proud of herself after having relayed such information about the mysterious newcomer in the school.

Mara shifted on her feet as she mulled over the woman’s words and pretended, not very well, to not care about the information provided to them. Shadowheart announced her departure after she grew bored of the silence between the four of them. Both Astarion and Fox had to say something to get Mara’s attention as to pull her from her thoughts. Mara looked at the two of them and caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall between the two of them.

“Shit, it’s time to leave already. I need to finish organizing the equipment closet in the gym.” Mara grabbed her bag as she gave them a wave, “I’ll call you guys later!” The two returned the sentiment and decided to leave what they saw alone for the moment as they left the school hand in hand.

Mara made her way through the school as she scolded herself for two different things. The first being that she didn’t finish the work she had started when she started it, which now caused her to leave work late. The second being that she had been genuinely intrigued to hear what Shadowheart had to say about Gale Dekarios. The same man who had talked down to her in such a condescending tone. The same man she had been avoiding all week. The same man that had been plaguing her thoughts when she let her mind wander. She forced her mind to focus as she approached the gym and connected her phone to the bluetooth system so she could blare her music as she finished the last of her work for the day.

As she left the gym and locked it, she heard a voice emanate behind her. It was a warm and sincere voice that she had been wanting to hear; it was Gale’s voice.

“Hello, Mara. I hope you’ve been well this week?” She saw Gale smiling up at her as she turned around.

“Oh, hi, Gale.” She kept her voice level and did not return his smile. “I’ve been fine.”

Gale nodded as he adjusted his bag awkwardly and cleared his throat. “I’m glad, the week of the new semester starting is always stressful so I’m happy to hear you’ve been handling it well.”

Mara almost broke, in that moment, wanting to ask him if she had done something wrong, but she held her resolve. She didn't answer him, which made him release an anxious laugh to fill the silence.

“Well, I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I hope you do well with your students this year. Now if you excuse me, I must be leaving now, as you probably should be as well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with a small wave, he took his leave as he walked away from Mara.

‘Oh, so he really is an audacious egomaniac.’ She thought to herself as she scoffed. Mara walked to the back doors of the school and pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contact list.

“You’ll never fucking believe what just happened.”, she said into her phone the moment Fox answered her call.

#bg3 #fanfic #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale x tav #foxblood #enemies to lovers #slow burn #he's an asshole

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cyberjello · 2 months

Text

An Analysis of Alex Hill

Aka: "In Which Cyberjello Spends Too Many Words Projecting Onto One of His Favourite Characters"

If you're here from the SRS discord server, Hi! I noticed something neat about Alex, and because I either have nothing to say or way too much, I wrote this whole… thing about it. Enjoy!

On the other hand, if it's the future and you stumbled upon this post by chance and are still here because you like reading character analyses even when you know nothing about the character (like me), this is about Alex Hill. He's a main character from a webtoon called The Last Dimension, which you can read here (and should because it's great)! This pile of words contains some spoilers for the first and second seasons. Enjoy!

Alex is a pretty interesting character. Sometimes he's a massive jerk, and sometimes he feels really bad about having been a massive jerk. But 90% of the time he's a pretty chill dude (if a little insensitive) who doesn't seem to care about any particular issue. I've pointed out an example of this before; how in the span of a couple days he switched from harassing Phillip about not being normal, to telling him in no uncertain terms that his otherness didn't matter. At first I was a little mystified. It seemed weird for him to change his stance like that so quickly, yet at the same time it didn't feel out of character for him. So I thought about it a bit more, and then I had an epiphany.

Alex differs from the others in how he thinks. He doesn't worry about what could happen in the near future, like Fai does. He doesn't dwell on the implications behind pieces of information, like Phillip does. He's impulsive, quick to say whatever pops into his head, and rarely stops to consider the long-term consequences of his actions.

And gee, as a young fellow with ADHD who's only been medicated for less than ten years, that all sounds awfully familiar. And rereading TLD with that connection in mind has been quite interesting.

See, ADHD—or at least my particular flavour of it—does some interesting things with one's sense of importance. Past, present, and future are tossed aside in favour of a much simpler system: "Now" and "Not Now". Things that happen during "Not Now" are rarely factored into decisions made during "Now". Desires, ideas, and thoughts that happen "Now" are almost always a higher priority and given more immediate attention.

The most visible manifestation of this is impulsiveness: the moment at which you have an idea, something you could say or do, is Now. Anything else—be it a task you were just in the middle of doing, a favour somebody asked of you an hour ago that you should really get started on, or the possible future consequences of executing this idea—those are all Not Now, and therefore not important, in the unlikely event that they even come to mind. And you can definitely see that impulsiveness in Alex whenever he says something he really, really shouldn't.

But impulsiveness isn't the only thing that the Now/Not Now dichotomy is responsible for. One of the clearest places I've also noticed it is in how he treats Phillip. Remember how he switches from jerk to friendly almost on a dime? Yeah, he actually does that a lot in season 1, doesn't he? In fact, I've gone and taken SIXTEEN FRICKING SCREENSHOTS BETWEEN EPISODES 2-15 AND I'M GOING TO GO THROUGH AND TALK ABOUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS BECAUSE I'M INSANE!!!

To start off though, I'm going to say what should be obvious to anyone who's read TLD: Alex isn't a mean person at heart. He cares a lot about those around him, including Phillip.

Anyway, in Episode 2 he acts like an absolute jerk to Phillip:

Clearly not the best of friends, are they? Well, you could have fooled me, because 15 minutes later, Alex is cheering him on and then looking out for him as he bluntly tells Phillip to "shift into [his] normal self".

And he proves to be a pretty good person after this. He's genuinely worried about Fai when she nearly drowns, and he's pretty friendly, if a bit cranky. But eventually it becomes clear how bad their situation is and all of a sudden—

—he's back to being a jerk.

But then Fai calls him out on it, and the effect is immediate.

He feels bad. He knows what he just did wasn't right. BUT THEN FIVE MINUTES LATER HE DOES IT AGAIN

Twice more this happens, where Alex is acting pretty friendly but then says something stupid, Fai tells him off, and he clearly feels bad immediately after—

—and then he acts like it never happened and he's genuinely friendly and nice again.

In fact, after that first day on Imash, he never says anything mean-spirited to or about Phillip again. Insensitive, sure, but not outright mean.

This isn't just Alex changing his opinion over the course of a couple days. This little flip-flop he does is a whole pattern that I'm going to go ahead and examine a little closer.

To start, let's compare the first two scenes I mentioned. In their room the Institute, Alex is frustrated that he has to share a room with Phillip. There's a good reason for him to not be upset; he does care about Phillip, and sharing a room with him would really help Phillip stay hidden. But Phillip's predicament—and more to the point, the effect it has on him that Alex perceives—currently rests in the far-off land of Not Now. Meanwhile in the land of Now, Alex doesn't get to be in a room with his other friends. Phillip's visible otherness is a painful reminder of the perceived betrayal from when he revealed his true form. To top it off, there's the background noise of Alex's frequent use as a guinea pig. There's a lot going on, and only one target to lash out at.

15 minutes later during the fall to Imash, all those things have entered Not Now. On the other hand, "I'm no longer falling to my doom thanks to Phillip" and "Fai and Anne are coming and are about to see Phillip" become Now. Looking out for Phillip is the Now Problem, sharing a room with him is a Not Now Problem.

But that's fairly normal, isn't it? Of course Alex is going to be nice to the person who just saved his life. Let's continue.

After they swim the shore, Alex is actually relatively friendly with Fai, in contrast to the name-calling and snarkery he used with her and Susi back at the Institute. Because Now, Fai isn't someone annoying trying to get in his way, she's just someone stuck here along with him.

Speaking of which, he doesn't seem all too concerned about what just happened. Annoyed, maybe, but not worried. After all, nothing bad is happening Now. But then Anne finds a tablet with an alien language on it, and the fact that they're not in Kansas anymore suddenly becomes a very big, very obvious Now Problem. Alex finally feels the true gravity of the situation, and lashes out at Phillip. (This provides a decent example of that impulsiveness again, where Alex's brain makes a connection and he acts on it Now.) Which brings me to my next observation, which is that Fai, by intervening, basically gives Alex the opportunity to realize when he's in the wrong.

Now, this part brings back a lot of memories from before I started taking medication for my ADHD. I used to tease my sister relentlessly. As Paranatural's Ed Burger puts it:

As I myself can testify, that bit about the reactions is the key here, ESPECIALLY when one has ADHD and that immediate reaction, the thing that happens Now, is practically the only thing that matters here. When I used to mess with my sister, I hated making her sad and felt awful wherever that happened. But angry? When she got angry and chased me around the house I thought was hilarious. It was that brief but very much Now moment of entertainment that motivated me. However, we've seen that Phillip doesn't give much of a reaction when bullied. He freezes up and then afterward, he disappears somewhere for half an hour to cry where no-one will see it:

And I believe that LACK of an immediate reaction is just as important. Alex has a lot of crap in his life to move him to take it out on Phillip. He doesn't need a reaction to do it, but the absence thereof means he never immediately sees how much Phillip suffers because of it. It never becomes apparent Now, when he's able to notice. But then along comes Fai, who does react when he says something hurtful about somebody else. And it's her reaction that makes him stop and become able to realize that what he was doing. He genuinely feels bad because as I said earlier, he doesn't want to be mean, he's just never able to notice when he is.

There's one other things I want to point out about the Now/Not Now thing. When you have something that could happen or will happen in the future, something that could affect you in some way, it doesn't really seem real. It's not immediately affecting you, it's Not Now, so there's no need to worry. And I see this in Alex a LOT.

These are his thoughts about seeing a giant energy beam appear in the distance: "I'm tired; it's not a Now Problem, I don't feel like thinking about it right now." The reason I find this familiar is because it's exactly what my brain would tell me whenever I sat down to do homework with a far-off deadline. And later, when Alex and Fai tell Phillip about Fai's bad vision about him, he very clearly isn't thinking about the contents of the vision itself; they're not happening Now, after all. He doesn't seem even a little worried about it, unlike Fai.

Now, I'm not going to outright say "Alex might canonically have ADHD" because I'm not a brain biologist who knows how to look for this stuff, nor do I know if this was intentional. (I'm also never been one to form headcanons, I typically stare at canon and go, "yup, that's pretty cool!") But I will say that I have ADHD, and I see a lot of myself in Alex, which is pretty neat.

#the last dimension #my paragraphs #adhd #Alex Hill

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velvet-vox · 4 months

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Oropo; the ideology of power behind being god: Part 3

Doing an analysis on Oropo proved to be a messy, disorganised process, not all that different from the actual character's actions themselves.

Every time I have tried doing this, I ended up saying nothing worthwhile and mostly just rumbled for a bit without reaching any meaningful conclusion; but I feel like I've finally found something that's actually important and can help the discussions surrounding the character.

Buckle up cause it's time for me to introduce to you all a little something also known as:

The complex of Oedipus

Conceived in 1909 by the Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), the Complex of Oedipus is a section of the written paper "Analysis of a Phobia in a Five-Year-Old Boy" in which Freud outlined the fear of horses of a boy known as "Little Hans".

The psychoanalyst determined that the boy's terror was due to feelings of anger he had internalised. According to Freud, all small boys choose their mother as their primary object of desire. They subconsciously wish to usurp their father and become their mother's lover. These desires appear between the ages of 3 and 5, when a boy is in what Freud defines as the "phallic" stage of development.

This stage represents an important point in the formation of sexual identity. The analogous experience for girls is known as the Electra complex, in which girls feel a desire for their father and jealousy of their mother. The child, however, suspects that acting on these feelings would lead to danger, thus he/she represses his/her desires. This leads to anxiety.

In order to resolve the conflict, the boy then identifies with his father and the girl with her mother. It is at this point that a superego is formed; it becomes an internalisation of the parental figure that strives to suppress the ID's impulses and make the ego act upon these idealistic standards.

The ID, ego and superego are, as described by Freud, the three main parts of the human mind that develop our personality through their interactions.

The ID is the most primitive. Within the ID are all the inherited components of personality we are born with, including the sex instinct, the Eros and the instinct towards aggression. The ID operates entirely unconsciously; it does not change with time or experience, since it is not related to the external world.

The ego is the rational, pragmatic part of our personality. It's less primitive than the ID and is both conscious and unconscious; it represents what may be called reason and common sense. Freud used the word "ego" to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning and memory.

The superego is concerned with social rules and morals, and covers what many would refer to as "conscience". It develops around the age of 3-5 and it consists of two systems: the conscience and the ideal self. The conscience is a part that can punish the ego by making it feel guilty. The ideal self, on the other hand, creates an imaginary picture of how you ought to be, and deals with ambition and social behaviour, including how you treat others and how to be a useful member of society.

According to Freud, the ID, ego and superego, are in constant conflict so that adult personality and behaviour are directly from the results of these internal childhood struggles.

The parallels

So, now that we have established what the Complex of Oedipus is, it is time to see how it connects back to our deranged owl man and to the entire race of the Eliotropes.

At this point though, I have to make a brutal yet sad confession: I have not watched the fourth season of Wakfu nor the Oropo special with all of the new Eliotropes, so all I'm going to focus entirely on Oropo for this analysis and hope that somebody else who has watched season 4 can piece together what aspects of Freud research are present in which Eliotrope and how it all ties back to Yugo.

For now, we can see how the first four paragraphs of the document have unsettling similarities to the entire concept and actions of Oropo and the Eliotropes.

Now, we need to consider that Freud at the time probably didn't take bisexuality and other gender identities as things an individual was born with; because in the case of the Electra complex we need to remember that all female Eliotropes are canonically lesbians, as reiterated by @cocogum in this post , thus, the more modern (or at least the most Wakfu relevant) interpretation of the two complexes that we should consider is: "the child wish to usurp the parent whose at the recieving end of the kid's sexual attraction, and to overcome said urge, identifies with that parent". I could make a different case for bisexuality, but it's not relevant.

The important thing about these two complexes is explaining why Oropo feels so much attraction for Amalia to not be able to contain himself even with Lady Echo. The entire concept behind the Eliotropes is that they were incomplete parts of Yugo that came into existence by accident and couldn't survive nor have an identity of their own without Yugo.

For how much Oropo plays himself up as this secretive master planner, he's actually a mere sexually repressed clone-child that's unable to grow up due to the very nature of his existence.

Finally appreciating canon Oropo: the trilogy's finale.

I feel like, once I learned about the connection between Sigmund Freud and Oropo, I finally started to care a little bit about the guy and the entirety of the Eliotrope's race. Granted, this analysis does fix the many problems and qualms I have with the character; like, if his writing problems limited themselves to the season 3 finale then I could pass it off as just the sad, miserable conclusion of a doomed existence, but no. Unfortunately, Oropo has problems even in the manga and ova created solely to expand on his character, it's like Tot is completely unable to give his writing pet the necessary traits to make him an antagonist worthy of the Wakfu's standards, and instead just uses him for cool visuals and to fill in the untold parts of the lore.

He came up with a truly brilliant concept reminiscing the psychoanalysis of the 19th century, and couldn't find a way to explore said concept in a meaningful way because he had to turn it into a fight. Naturally, this isn't just a Wakfu problem, this is an anime and media problem at large, where we necessarily have to resolve conflicts into a battle because otherwise the audience could feel bored and disinterested in the final product.

This is a problem that carries over to the Avatar franchise, where the creators tried to have meaningful political commentary and couldn't find a meaningful way to have it that didn't involve a fight, because, if they don't turn it into a fight of good and evil, then the audience could feel scared at the prospect of such a challenging, morally compromising story.

To me, Oropo would have been a far more interesting character if he just wanted to overthrow the gods for their selfishness and wanted Yugo to approve his decisions because he was his creator and he loved him.

Could have made for a far more interesting story than just simply going back to the status quo and compromising it only through the inclusion of the Necromes, who pretty much just sought destruction and didn't really change the hierarchy in a meaningful manner.

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Nox analysis

Qilby analysis

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scarlettriot · 1 year

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★ Hello, all you wonderful people. I know it's been a pretty long time since I've posted any kind of story or fic update. The inspiration well has been suffering a terrible drought, and then this idea hit me pretty hard, and I decided just to see where it would take me. Story will get smutty so, no minors or ageless blogs. ★ The world is entirely my own as it is part of another piece of fiction I am writing, however, @twisteddaydreams1135 & @meggsngrits have been helping so much with ideas and plot, it's not even funny. Thank you guys for your continual help. I know I wouldn't even have started this if it wasn't for you two. I also pulled some inspo from the incredible fantasy audio series by Yuzuya. ★ Below I give you a little taste of what is to come. The story will heavily follow the BakuSquad as well as some other beloved characters from the series. I really hope you all enjoy ♡

When you woke up this morning, this wasn't quite how you imagined your day would play out. It started normal, a bit exciting even. You had the opportunity to aid two travelers in locating information regarding some dragon clans, which just so happened to be your area of expertise.

But, you thought when they walked down the library's grand marble staircase and out into the crowded evening streets, it would be the end of the day's excitement. Truth be told, even if you were a senior librarian, nothing too thrilling ever really occurred within the city limits.

All of that changed just a few hours later.

Never in your life had your heart raced quite this fast. Then again, you'd never been running for your life before. Hand in hand with the very loud, and grouchy blonde you'd helped earlier in the day. Footfalls pounding against the cobblestone road in sync with each other, propelling yourselves forward, keeping just ahead of the six hunters that had cornered you not minutes before.

He pulled you through the city you'd always called home, the one you'd never left, making sharp turns down alleyways and cutting across roads without so much as a second thought. Anything he could think of to get them off your trail, he was trying, and yet nothing deterred them.

You were nearing the city limits. And it was only a limit because it was a cliffside. A massive one at that. Standing high above the sea with its unforgiving waves hundreds of feet below.

“When we get to the ledge, don't slow down. Just keep running and jump.”

Just when you thought it would burst, your heart sped up even more. He was insane. He had to be.

“Are you mad? That's a cliff, you know! We'll die!”

“Don't argue! Just do it!”

Before you could blink or hold him back, his free hand flung out behind you both, and magic exploded outward from his palm in a brilliant display of light and sparks that had citizens screaming and debris scattering in every direction. But, it afforded you time. Just precious seconds to create enough space between you and the hunters.

The ledge was a few meters away, there was no going back now. “JUST JUMP!” He screamed, and another blast went off powerful enough to launch the two of you right over the edge, and then you were free-falling through the open air.

Your stomach lurched, and your heart lodged itself in your throat as the wind tore through your hair and stung your skin like a thousand tiny needles. You had a death grip on the blonde's hand and just waited for the icy waters below to swallow you whole, but no chill came.

One moment you were falling, and the next, you were flying. Your body connected with something hard as the man held you in place. “Get up here. Can't have ya fallin' off.” You opened your eyes to see two massive ebony wings, dragon wings, carrying you away from the only home you'd ever known...

#mha #bnha #kirishima #bakugou #mha fantasy au #dragon kirishima #barbarian prince bakugou #dragons and magic galor #bakugou x reader #kirishima x reader #please please please let me know if you want more #I've been having so much fun developing this story

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rpstartersinc · 18 days

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* 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝟐.

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

— " you know this is no place for a child. " — " wherever i go, he goes. " — " it's uncouth to talk business immediately. " — " i'm prepared to pay your for the information. " — " give it to me now or i will peel it off your corpse. " — " you must give me your word that you won't kill me. " — " that wasn't part of the deal. " — " i'm here on business, i need your help. " — " why don't you join me for a drink? " — " i've never met a real mandalorian. " — " i know you're good at killing. " — " i'm sure you call the shots where you come from, but 'round here, i'm the one tells folks what to do. " — " power hates a vacuum. " — " i guess every once in a while, both suns shine on a womp rat's tail. " — " these monsters can't be reasoned with. " — " we've heard the stories. " — " are you trying to blow the whole place up? " — " we only have one shot. " — " i don't think it's dead. " — " if you put one mark on him, there's no place you will be able to hide from me. " — " better not have any maggots on it, i don't like maggots. " — " moving fast is the only thing keeping me safe. " — " what can i say, i'm an excellent judge of character. " — " gotta get you some blankets, keep you warm. " — " this was not part of the deal. " — " how about you come over here, give me a hand? " — " make yourself useful. " — " it's not safe out here. " — " i can't protect you out here. " — " wake me up if someone shoots at us. " — " this is more than i signed up for. " — " looks like someone could use some repairs. " — " i'm afraid of heights, and heat... and lava. " — " we're trapped! " — " we could really use you. " — " i'm sorry for your loss. " — " you will learn nothing from me. " — " i sense much fear in you. " — " i like firsts, good or bad, they're always memorable. " — " you and i, we're a lot alike. " — " you made me a promise, and i help up my end. " — " i'm not mad at you, you did good. " — " i'm a simple man making his way through the galaxy. " — " i give my allegiance to no one. " — " you look like you've just seen a ghost. " — " you were dead. " — " i've seen worse. " — " i was aiming for the other one. " — " it's a common courtesy to tell somebody where it is that you're taking them. " — " if you wanna accuse me of something then just say it. " — " oh my god this guy reeked, his gloves are still wet. " — " i'm just a realist. " — " i'm a survivor, just like you. " — " you and i are nothing alike. " — " seems like your rules start to change when you get desperate. " — " as far as i'm concerned, if you can make it through your day and still sleep at night, you're doing better than most. " — " everybody thinks they want freedom, but what they really want is order. " — " we all need to sleep at night. " — " i don't have a death wish, do you? " — " i didn't know sidekicks were allowed to talk. " — " your shots have to look convincing. " — " a friendly piece of advise, assume that i know everything. " — " you're sparing my life? well this should be interesting. " — " i'm gonna get you out of here. " — " don't be afraid. " — " i thought you were dead. "

#the mandalorian rp #the mandalorian #( sentence. )#sentence starters #sentence meme #rp meme #rp starters #tv series #action #adventure

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leahazel · 2 years

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How to write a summary (the cheater's method)

I've written about this subject before (and I know I'm not the only one), but I still see people struggling with it pretty much daily. So here's my cheat sheet for how to produce a story summary that focuses on the story's essentials.

There are five pieces of information that need to exist in every summary:

Where and when the story takes place (for example, Victorian London, a nuclear submarine, a moon colony, a pseudo-medieval forest full of elves).

Who the main character is (for example, a young royal, an apprentice mage, a space marine, the eldest of five unmarried sisters).

What the main character wants (for example, to win a war, to prove their innocence, to get married, to survive in the apocalypse).

And, critically, why I, the reader, should care about it. This last one is hardest to give pithy examples for, but that only emphasizes how important it is.

I will give a more detailed example of why each item on the list is necessary behind the fold, using my own story, Turncoat Chronicle.

Where and when: TC takes place in a pseudo-Renaissance low fantasy setting. This tells you that if you enjoy the feudal dynamics of fantasy, you might enjoy this story, but if you mainly like fantasy for its magic and monsters, you probably won't.

Who: TC's MC is the heir of a king notorious for taking his throne by force. This tells you that if you love playing wealthy, privileged characters, you might vibe with the MC. On the other hand, if you're bored of fantasy that focuses on the monarchy, you probably won't.

What: The central conflict of TC is between the MC staying loyal to their father, or betraying him and siding with his worst enemy. This tells you that if you like stories about difficult choices and conflicting loyalties, TC might be for you.

Why: The stakes for TC are established early on. If the MC sides with his family's enemy, they will have to kill their father. On the other hand, if they side with their father, they will lose the opportunity to end a generation-long grudge. If you are interested in games that allow you to make history, these stakes might appeal to you.

At every step along the way, the summary is designed to help you gain readers who would enjoy your story and lose readers who would find it dissatisfying. The goal is to bring stories to the attention of those who are most looking for them as efficiently as possible, through the medium of a concise and informative summary.

These are the kinds of elements that I look for in a summary when I'm looking for stories to read.

#writing #plot #summaries #dodgy advice #not claiming this method is perfect but it works well for me

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ballcrusher74 · 8 months

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hello. are you. perhaps 👉👈 willing to talk about the inspector/faux. ive only seen cool arts and no context so im rather curious.

OK!!! I actually love rambling about my ocs so small questions like this make me day. I just get nervous LOL But! I will say, there's gonna probably be a bit I'm leaving out because it does involve my friends' characters and it's still an on-going thing atm (we tend to roleplay on lethal company as our guys. btw the oc group is called Cleanup Crew ! it explains the recent reblogs and new tags I've added on posts with this guy) AND this does also involve my own little interpretations of in-game mechanics and other things, but otherwise, I'll get the rest of him down!

Inspector, also originally known by the name of Terrance Conroy (or Terry), was a typical scavenger working under 'The Company' after a couple rough times on his home planet. (This information isn't necessarily set in stone, but the idea of him being a washed-up rock star before quitting his passion to get a job that pays his rent has been bouncing around in my brain.) He used to be a normal guy, trying to find a little hope in his desperate situation, and was a social butterfly. He tend to bounce from crew to crew, sometimes staying in some for only a couple days, and some for months. He was a very careful man, and looked out for his fellow crew members.

And then, one day, his first death on the job happens.

But instead of being greeted by a bright white light at the end of a tunnel, or complete pitch darkness, he appears on the ship again- completely physically fine.

This.. confuses him at first, yet he continues on.

And then he dies again. And again, and again. Over and over, the more deaths he's endured, the more he comes to a morbid realization that he can't truly die, nor can those around him. He tries to keep this truth hidden away from the others, as they seem to not have mentioned it at all before. He remembers everything. Every time he was ripped to shreds by an eyeless dog, every time he blew up into pieces from a landmine, every time he was shot multiple times, every time he was left behind or ejected as part of the disciplinary process- He felt it all and remembered it all. This goes on for the course of years (around 8-10 roughly) and over that course of time, he begins to grow very careless. What's the point of saving someone if they'll just come back? What's the use of tears when you're only a couple dollars off quota with a shovel in hand?

What's the point of it all? And with that carelessness comes selfishness into the picture. With how long he's been stuck in the cycle, he has become a very manipulative person, putting up a playful and nice persona on the outside- almost sickeningly sweet- in order to help other's do his bidding. He believes that if he were to cause so much chaos, disorder, and disruption within a crew, to where it's like animals mauling each other apart, he'd be able to break free from it himself. He doesn't care anymore about leaving others behind. He's desperate at this point to find a way out. Faux, who is an alter ego / disguise for Inspector, ties more into the on-going events right now, but I can give a basic rundown on his personality. He's a klutzy and quiet man, typically only talking to others when it's just him and them, and nobody else around, playing himself off as a selective mute. Since this is just Inspector in a jazzy little jester outfit, he still possesses all the traits of that man, just hidden away as to not blow his cover. He's still tugging on the strings in some way, people just don't realize. Sure, he's off putting and just a tad bit strange, but how can a goofy man like that be terrifying?

WOOOW ok that's a lot more typing than expected, but here's also a couple fun facts about the guy !

He stands at 6 feet and 1 inch, and is a very lanky guy compared to others, but this wasn't always the case. He used to just stand at 5 feet and 6 inches, and had more normal human proportions. With how many times he has died and how long it's been of the cycle, it has fucked up his appearance a LOT. Other things include : his 'skin' being grey, his voice constantly sounding like it's coming from a walkie talkie, no visible neck, his face becoming the helmet itself (it still bleeds, but there's nothing in there), and inhumanly flexible.

The only thing left of him that represents his last strand of humanity, is a singular, dim eye behind the tape on his visor.

He is very much not a rational man anymore. He is quick to jump to things, and won't hesitant with his actions.

When waiting to return from death, he is able to manifest in someone's head as a disembodied voice, and will typically mock them, or try and manipulate them further. In this state, he can see everything through the eyes of the person he's haunting. ^ Fun fact about this! This was originally based off a stupid bit where my friend was streaming LC to me with other buddies on the game and I kept telling them to step on landmines and then kill someone for a promotion, and then Inspector was born!

and UH I think that's about it I have for the guy atm! If the rest of the cleanup crew gets dropped than I'll update this accordingly perhaps. As of right now, enjoy my oc slop 👍

#lethal company #lethal company oc #oc #cleanup crew #that inspector that i hate #render

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silusvesuius · 7 months

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Your Depiction of Ulfric is literal perfection. I’ve never seen anyone who sees him in a similar way to me, until I found your account last year. I fucking love miserable old man Ulfric who could never catch a break since the day he was born. Every major event in his life (he can’t even decide which one’s the worst) shaped him in the worst yet most interesting way possible. I can’t speak enough about him, his messed up self esteem clashing with his ego, his repressed emotions and sexuality, his shattered image of his own body and mind, the constant loud arguments between the voices in his head (mostly just him arguing with hallucinations) *I’m definitely not projecting here* his unstable mood, his flashbacks and his odd obsessions with random harmful patterns he associates with familiarity. Because to him familiar=safe even if he’s basically only familiar to a constant state of worry and feeling like he’s being targeted or hunted down.

None of this seems to be getting better, at least not in a notable speed. Yet they’re all existing within a strong and powerful man. It’s quite the combination, he’s being weighted down by all of that baggage but his back is too strong to bend. He appears as if he has nerves of steel from the outside, but really if anything is made of steel in his mind, it’s the vessel that he uses to bottle all of that trauma up.

I already had a vague idea of his complicated relationship (obviously) with Elenwen but your version literally felt like it opened my third eye. It is scrumptious and your art is so beautiful it depicts every essence of it all perfectly without even needing to include words. I fell in love with it at first sight.

dis answer is kinda long so i'm (crumpling it up and tossing it under the cut)

Omg wtf Thank you's 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕 this is so well put together into words; i will do 9543 backflips for demented ulfric always. i've grown to like him in canon too cause he really has that, wouldn't even call it deceitful, weirdly-content personality.. but i don't think anyone in the writing room in sk*rim HQ knows how to write a character that has been through Anything, event of any kind, so he seems too 'perfect' for a person that has been through literal physical torture, to me, and his reactions to things that should be greatly upsetting are too mild. even though him being elenwen's victim is a piece of information that's easy to miss it seems like it also completely slipped out of the writing IOFDHDJFUIO LOL.. it all obviously adds up to him seeming more appealing as a fashie character to the audience, cus a visibly mentally unwell man wouldn't do it for most people, especially when you want to sway someone to be on his side of things.

i think it's quite smart for the st*rmcloaks to be presented as the more warm and welcoming types of people but ulfric should be the coldest of them all. Bro shouldn't even have the mental and physical capacity to seem Content with his life especially in that moment. he should be the type to use his civil war motivations as an excuse to stay alive if that makes sense, cause i don't think he really wants to live, but he has things to do to keep his mind and hands busy xchkvcjcvkl//

i also really love how ulfric only has galmar as someone he's really close to, it always seemed beyond genius to me, to write them like that, it's cute... he rly is the only person to suffer thru 4 hours of ulfric Peak psychosis monologue followed by 2 hours of trying to prove to him that th*lmor and imperial soldiers aren't hiding in the chests and under the beds of the palace LMFAOO galmar is the one guy who he can sob in front of and act like a little baby fishing for compliments and reassurance, and, not all that related to ulfric as a whole, but i strongly believe that having him be so vulnerable with galmar would make galmar really excited, it would make him feel good, like no other damsel in distress could deliver that feeling EVER. having such a seemingly-strong political figure rely on you Badly and madly would feel like something else entirely 💗 it's very off-putting and perhaps inappropriate of him to feel that way when ulfric is just searching for stability, but i think that even if ulfric knew galmar felt that way he wouldn't really gaf LOL. he'd turn to elenwen if there was no one else to go to cause he 'knows' her, and he'd torment elisif cause he 'knows' her as well.. but he would be completely closed off from making connections with other people 🏆

+ bonus; elenwen's feelings for him would border on everything at once, like, every type of relationship and connection that ever exists.. she really views him as the food she left over in the fridge and will get to eat when she's back from work as a reward

tl;dr him being scarier and more .. unkempt? from the outside would make him even cooler tbhs. he should become christian and develop religious OCD

#ask #i love herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (him)#him just lashing out at everyone would just be cute *audience Aww sfx*

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budgie-city · 1 year

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THE ORIGINS OF BUDGIE CITY

Welcome to this informational article where I will be explaining what exactly this "Budgie City" is, where it came from, and in which direction it will be going. So, sit down comfortably - there are some interesting things waiting ahead of you! If you are interested in the lore, visit this article.

What exactly is "Budgie City"?

It is a fictional world that I am actively developing. At the moment, I’m in the process of writing it in the form of a paper draft. I write long texts by hand, and it seems to me that spelling out each letter, unlike typing, helps to approach the composition of sentences more thoughtfully, and to more successfully avoid strange and crooked constructions that will then have to be rewritten and corrected. It is far from the final, but I want to warm up people's interest in this world before the release of a full-fledged work, which is what I am doing now. I will not publish too many pieces of text until I have finished the story completely (though I probably will show some sneak-peeks). For now the content on "Budgie City" is mostly limited to drawings — concepts, sketches and character designs. Gradually, I've been starting to bring this topic to my YouTube channel in order to introduce the setting and concept to my viewers.

You may have seen my first video of Budgie City since 2014, which I have released quite recently — “I am not insane”, a video that focuses on one of the secondary conflicts of the story.

Where did this concept even come from?

It's quite a long story, and it's funny that this year is the ten year anniversary of me registering on the forum called "Budgie City". Yes, it all started with a regular internet forum — a by now almost extinct site format, which in the early 2000s and until about 2016-17 was the main place for interest groups on the internet. Now this has moved almost completely to social media, but before almost any hobby or interest had its own forum with different sections and topics. It saddens me a little that the golden age of forums has already passed.

In 2012, for the New Year, my parents bought me my first budgie — a classic green one, and I named him Gesha. At that time, I was not a regular "user" of the Internet yet. I only started to comprehend the vastness of the virtual network a few months later, and at first it leaned purely on me viewing memes in Google pictures and all sorts of videos on YouTube.

But in the spring of 2013, I discovered these wonderful things known as forums. And it was that point in time when I, having had a budgie with me for a year, decided to find a forum thematically fitting. Upon the request from my country, Google led me straight to the “Budgie City” forum.

The topics on there were something like rooms in a big house. The users randomly surfed through them and followed each other's daily lives. Therefore, Budgie City did actually feel really like being in a virtual society where everyone knows each other. I was getting used to the frequent people, getting to know each person individually. I went to their topics to write comments and answers, they wrote in mine. That's how we existed as this cozy club of interests.

There is an interesting thing with almost every child that is on the Internet — no matter where, in which community — a person with the admin/moder status is perceived as an absolute authority, any response from which causes awe and delight. And there were certain, more active and sociable admins in Budgie City — Anya under the nickname "Phoenix Bird" and Olga under the nickname "Olivka". The "Phoenix Bird" nickname spoke for itself — the image of a large bird of fire that walks around the city and receives admiring glances from everyone, was drawn in my head almost instantly. Olivka didn't have an image yet; I started turning her into a character much later.

Phoenix and Olivka in their modern designs (2022)

In the early summer of 2014, I read "Warrior Cats", and that’s where the whole story took off. I suddenly felt like I should become a writer too and write my own book. And 12-year-old me, who was spending 80% of my online traffic on the forum, decided to write a story, turning part of the admin staff and the budgies of familiar forum members into their own characters. Phoenix and Olivka turned into birds, the latter in particular acquired an image in the form of a wompoo fruit dove with olive-tinged wings, the budgies of the forum were also turned into their respective characters: Gesha and Yasha (mine); Glasha and Gosha (Hoatzin); Clementine, Jack, Fenya, Nira, Mouse, Castorka, Mithril and Small (Phoenix); Kuzya (Dmitriy68), Milana (Radujniy), Raisin (yyna) and others.

Sections of the forum have turned into parts of the city — the restaurant, the mayor's office, the registry office and nursery, and suburbs with parrots of other species, located on trees surrounding baobabs.

This is how the novel of the same name with the slogan "Feathered Metropolis" was born from the "Budgie City" forum. I posted it in its own topic, had about a dozen readers and, judging by the reviews, they all really liked reading the story. Although, looking back at the writing now... I wouldn't call it something breathtaking. Rather the opposite. But then again, I am now judging from the perspective of a third-year animation director student, and not the fifth grader I was at that time.

A couple of my original illustrations from 2014

The story was successfully brought to an end in about seven months, and after a while I started writing a sequel — however, the central conflict wasn’t thought out the slightest, so the plot quickly crumbled and was abandoned after several chapters.

Now the original text is lost in the vastness of the web — somewhere there is a piece of the prologue, somewhere even a couple of chapters. But the full version no longer exists — it was published only on the forum, and the said forum, unfortunately was — somewhere around 2019 — ruthlessly deleted from the Internet due to the desolation. All that's left of it are snapshots in the Wayback Machine.

Rewriting from the old version into a new one

In 2017, three years later, I made an attempt to rewrite "Budgie City" from scratch — leaving only the main conflict, the structure of the world, and the set of characters the same, to write a new text out of this "skeleton". Progress did not go beyond the prologue and the first chapter however, and rewriting was abandoned.

The same story with 2019 — a couple of pages, that’s all.

Two artworks from 2019

The next approach took till early 2021 to happen, when the original story turned almost six and a half years old. At that time I was already in the middle of my first year of animation directing at SPbGIKiT (Saint Petersburg State Institute of Film and Television). I wrote the prologue and part of the first chapter and went to proudly tell our master Galina Voropai about my "really cool" world. Galina interrupted me in the middle of the impromptu presentation, after which followed a forty-minute roast, thoroughly and in detail explaining that the "Budgie City" in its concept is a piece of junk that does not have the right to exist in its current form. And all this was in the presence of my classmates in the workshop. I gave up trying to defend myself halfway through, and when it was all over, I got up, quietly thanked Galina for a detailed objective analysis of the shortcomings of my project, went down to the first floor, huddled in a bathroom stall, and burst into tears.

It was the first (and yet the only) time in my life where I was literally crying over my work, and the girls from senior courses came to my howls, and we sat together on the windowsill of a public toilet. I was all red, shaking, and dropping snot, as they tried to calm me down.

(my mental state that day)

After that, I did not return to those written several pages for about a year and a half. I began to doubt whether I should continue at all or if it would just be a waste of time.

After the roast from the master, I went through all five stages of grief:

Yes, that was tough. But after so much time, I was finally able to evaluate the message of this scolding with a cool head and understand that most of the comments were actually really helpful - the conflict and the world did require a lot more careful study and rework. With the next approach, I wrote out all the conflicts, all the character motivations, and made a proper plan. And since the end of last autumn, I have returned to writing. Now I know where the story will begin, where it will head, and how it will end. All the actions performed by the heroes are finally based in actual logic. And, although Galina will not see the final result (she sadly passed away at the end of 2021), I hope that the new version will be one that she would have approved of.

A small FAQ:

Q: When will the book be released?

A: I don't want to make any promises as of now, because writing is a rather spontaneous and uneven process. I write more when I am inspired, and inspiration is impossible to predict. So the answer is simple — it will come out when it's finished :D

Q: Will it be released electronically or in a printed book form? Will I have to pay for reading it?

A: I plan to release the final version "Budgie City" in the same way as the old one — in open access, so that everyone can read it at any time. I will not charge money for reading the electronic version, but if there will be a demand for physical copies, I may release a small print run, which will cost money for those who want to get a copy. But it's a little early to think about that anyway.

Q: How does the world in Budgie City work? How do they live? What is the main conflict of the story?

A: All of this you can find out in this article!

Q: Where can I find more content to this world and story?

A: On this very blog or on my YouTube channel

I hope this article was helpful and informative enough for you to know where "Budgie City" comes from and in which direction it is currently heading. Thank you for reading!

Huge thanks to @annchanorsomethin for helping with translation of this article!

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