#i hate you executive dysfunction i hate you time blindness i hate you adhd paralysis i hate you depression | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

meat-huge-pain-endless · 11 months ago

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bro i’m so sick of being mentally ill like this shit is so annoying bc why i am literally incapable of passing 4 courses in one semester. and mind you i have pretty much no social life and did one extracurricular this semester and exactly zero last year. what do you mean my friends go to parties on weekends and have jobs on campus and also hobbies and free time?

#like seriously wtf #i hate you executive dysfunction i hate you time blindness i hate you adhd paralysis i hate you depression #cause here’s the thing: i don’t want to be miserable anymore!!!#i hate feeling like this all the time i hate it so much #it feels like i’m wasting my life #bc every class i sign up for is one that im genuinely interested in and want to do the work and learn the content and engage w the material #and then when i inevitably can’t keep up w the workload i beat up on myself so much about it #bc in my mind academic failure and success is directly tied to whether or not i am a good person #so yeah i don’t feel great about passing 1/4 classes this semester #ok technically 1/3 bc i withdrew from the one course but like that still puts me a credit behind! and it feels like a failure anyway!#i got a c+ in the one i passed and im getting an incomplete so i can pass the other #but i’m gonna b honest i gave up on the third class #and like. idk i don’t wanna say im not a quitter bc i totally am and im not normally super ashamed of that i don’t think?#but i’m having a rlly hard time telling myself that it’s ok #that it’s ok that i gave up. it’s ok that i failed. it’s ok that i didn’t have it in me this time #but i’m trying #anyways #i’m real tired #but i drive home today!#excited for 6 weeks off #i find myself wishing things were different so often lately #i just hope next semester is better

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