#i hate the school chromebook cameras...

[ch0cocrave]

That moment when you have free time in school...

@akalikestodraw

[ihavetoomuchhomeworkforthis]

(TLDR at the bottom)

So far, my gender journey or whatever you call it hasn't really felt normal. There hasn't been any moment of realization, no, "I've always knew" and there wasn't any feeling of everything clicking into place when I found the right word. None of the labels really seem perfect, many of them seem okay. I should maybe start at the beginning.

In kindergarten-1st-2nd I never really wanted to play with the girls at recess. We sort of automatically separated ourselves by gender, and the girls always seemed too, well, "girly," so I often tried to play with the boys instead, even though I didn't get to participate that much. My best friends were two guys and a girl who I somehow deemed less girly than the rest. When I was 5, I asked to get my hair cut really short. It ended up being a bob instead of boyish like I was probably hoping for, and we donated the hair that was cut off.

In 3rd grade we moved, my hair had grown back out, and I started telling everyone I was a boy all the time. When they didn't believe me, I'd mention that one time I saw this old guy at church who had long hair in a ponytail, so that meant guys could have long hair too. One time I was sitting with a couple guys and one of them asked if I was a boy, why did I use the girl's bathroom? And if I had been more self confident I might have been able to explain that nobody believed me, and I'd never told any teachers, and there were security cameras outside the bathrooms, and besides, it was just habit. Once, during gym, I asked to use the bathroom and went into the boy's bathroom instead. It wasn't that different, just the stalls were a different color, and probably there were urinals also, I don't remember. Thankfully nobody was in there, so I just used the bathroom and went back to gym. I sort of gave up telling everyone I was a boy all the time in 4th and 5th, and I wasn't really good friends with anyone except maybe one boy. I was determined to hate the school because it wasn't my old school, and I had really liked my old school.

Skip to 6th and 7th, and I had a school chromebook, which I used to discover the concept of "lgbtq" and do a bunch of "am I trans" type of online quizzes. My best friend in 6th was a girl, and in 7th we drifted apart because she had sports, so my best friend was then a boy in band who was the only other 7th grade horn player.

For 8th we moved again, and before moving, I decided I wanted my hair cut really short again, to show up at my new school looking like a boy, if that were possible. So my mom actually did cut my hair that short, and we donated it again, and I went into 8th grade with short hair and awkward bangs which were difficult to avoid letting fall into a middle part. My automatic new best friend was the only other new person in 8th grade. We were nothing alike, but the whole year I sort of felt stuck with them. They tried new names and pronouns every couple months, and when I mentioned not really feeling like a girl (sort of obvious from the boyish haircut) they wanted to help me find the right name and pronouns and label as well. I hadn't actually hated my name, and I wasn't really ready to try to find the perfect label, but we ended up trying Kai they/them, and Ashe he/him, both of which never felt quite right. Halfway through the year they adopted people into our friendship and I was shy so I became such a third wheel that I may as well not have been there, but it felt wrong to leave them, and I didn't know anyone else very well. I started talking to my mom about these things and she's loving and supportive thankfully, but she didn't quite agree with any of it, or the idea of finding labels, because "we're all just people," and she's right maybe, but the different perspective on things was confusing.

9th (and 10th so far) I didn't really make any "best" friends. I put both they/them and she/her on the beginning of year get to know you papers, and wrote that my name was fine but I wished I could find one that felt less feminine, and that they could shorten it however they wanted. I thought if I had been born a boy, I might want to be a girl, and I might like to wear dresses and make-up. I started thinking maybe I was cis after all, and maybe I was just attention-seeking, which was an oddly disappointing thought, and seemed backwards from the "normal" experience. Then again, if I were cis, would I be spending so much time thinking about it? I'm okay with being a girl, but I don't really feel like I fit perfectly in that box, and I wouldn't mind being a boy instead, but I think I'd feel just as much of a misfit there, too. I don't hate my breasts, they're pretty small anyway, and when I wear feminine clothing (rarely) it looks nice (because girly clothes are designed to look nice on a girly shape), but if I was magically flat-chested one day I don't think I'd mind at all. The summer that I cut my hair (I've grown it back out since then), I tried to dress as masculine as I could so I'd be percieved as male on the playground by my grandparent's house, and it worked, and there have been a couple times that people thought I was a boy or just couldn't tell, but was that actually really cool and exciting, or was I making it up and just telling myself that I enjoyed being mistaken for a guy because I wanted to fit in with the idea of what being trans was based on the online quizzes and stuff?

I also started wondering about sexuality, and feeling the same weird backwards disappointment about possibly being straight, and wondering if it was strange not to have had a real crush yet, with the exception of a strange obsession with a guy in 2nd grade. I think maybe if I'm attracted to anything at all, it would be androgyny. Girls with short hair, boys with longer hair, girls with muscles and masculine features, guys who have more feminine features and maybe wear make-up or nail polish, people who are completely androgynous. Some girls are pretty and some boys are pretty too. Is that okay, or am I just picky and that's why I haven't had a "real" crush yet, or am I deluding myself? What does it even mean to have a crush? Have I had crushes other than just the guy in 2nd grade and I've just been too socially awkward to realize or do anything about it? Or do I just not experience romantic attraction, only ...aesthetic attraction for lack of a better phrase? And am I a girl or not really?

I don't know and gender and sexuality are confusing and I'm still very much questioning and maybe I always will be.

TLDR: I don't understand my gender or sexuality and it's all very confusing please help haha

[cirquedesolaire]

I hate you

I hope you get dragged down to the fiery pits of hell during test so you miss most of the tests and get blamed for our school being in turnaround

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm

I hope all your beverages are slightly carbonated since I know you hate that

I hope the mice steal your good pens

I hope your Chromebook charger breaks before testing starts

I hope your favorite Cool Math Games are deleted

I hope you loose your trenchcoat

I hope the chair you sit in for testing is slightly tilted so you keep noticing it but you can't do anything about it

I hope those cursed drawings over mcut photos get deleted from your camera roll

I hope all pencil sharpeners pen and spill all the pencil shreds whenever you try to sharpen a pencil

I hope your entire steam game library gets deleted

fuck you 🖕

[addierose444]

Technology I Use in College

Note: This blog post is just an overview of the technology I use in college rather than an actual buying guide. Since most of my tech is a little outdated, I have included links to the current models instead. It is worth noting that Smith does have multiple computer labs. Additionally, if you are looking for financial assistance for buying a computer, click here.

Before I get into my main devices (spoiler a laptop and a tablet), I will briefly cover the other tech I use. First of all, my phone is the Pixel 3a. Phones are by no means essential in college. I would definitely recommend investing in a solid laptop over a phone. That said, phones do come in handy for texting classmates for group projects. I personally mostly use my phone for listening to audiobooks, podcasts, and music. My phone is also my alarm system and I use the camera for taking pictures for this blog. Speaking of audio consumption, headphones are really useful to have in college. Even if you don’t have a roommate, your floormates will thank you for having headphones. My headphones are the amazing but totally overpriced Bose QC IIs. Lastly, I also like to read on my 3rd generation Kindle Paperwhite (2015).  

Tablet: 

In class, my primary device is my iPad. I have the 6th generation iPad (2018) and the 1st generation Apple pencil. This combination is fantastic for taking notes. I also use my iPad for reading and annotating various pdf documents. OneNote is my favorite note-taking app since it is free and works smoothly across all devices. I love having an iPad because it allows me to significantly cut down on the amount of paper I use. While my iPad and Apple pencil have been an incredible investment, it is worth noting that the system doesn’t work for everyone. I know others who reverted to taking paper notes in the spring semester. In terms of personal use, I also use my iPad to keep in touch with my family via FaceTime and for practicing the guitar with the Ultimate Guitar app. 

Laptop: 

As much as I love my iPad, given my majors, I find that a laptop is essential. So if I had to choose one device, I would have to choose my laptop. My laptop is the Dell XPS 13 (2015). I got this laptop 4 years ago the summer before my sophomore year in high school. Prior to getting this laptop, I used a school-issued Chromebook. Chromebooks work well for basic internet use and word processing, but they can’t handle most programming. Having a laptop is also useful for the keyboard. If I weren’t an engineering and computer science double major, I could perhaps get away with just my iPad and an external keyboard. However, for programming, effectively writing equations in Google Docs, and using spreadsheets, an iPad just doesn’t do the trick. Since I hate trackpads, a wireless mouse is an essential laptop accessory.

[flightandsurvival]

What’s your name? Cait.

How old are you? 27.

What’s your hair and eye color? Nearly black and dark brown.

How tall are you? 5′3″

What’s your relationship status? Single. 

What’s your favorite song? Hmm... I’m not sure I have one favorite. 

What does that song mean? What is the message behind it? x

Is it your favorite because you relate to it, or do you just like the beat? x

Have any pets? If so, what are they and what’s their names? Dex is a chihuahua, Bean is a torbie.

Have you ever met your idol? If so, were they nice or were they kind of an ass? I have had the unique opportunity to meet a celebrity that I greatly admire and she was very nice. 

What’s your favorite method of gaming? (PC, Xbox, Playstation, etc) None. 

If you’re in college, what’s your major and why did you pick it? I’m getting my master’s in social work. 

How’re you doing today? I had a weirdly great day. 

What color are your bedroom walls? Off white. 

Describe your favorite shirt. My favorite shirt is a mfm merch shirt that says “toxic masculinity ruins the party again.”

Use this space to tell someone off. Nah. 

What’s your view on smart watches? Cool or a waste of money? I think they’re very cool but I am not nearly able to afford one. 

What is one poster that you have hanging on your bedroom wall of? None. 

How many times have you moved in your life? A good handful. 

If you moved, do you like where you are now better than where you were? I like this place, I’ve lived here nearly 4 years. However, I am very excited about the possibility of moving in September. 

What’s your favorite color and why? Purple. It just is. 

Do you have a calendar? If so, what’s the theme? Yes, florals. It’s still on November. 

Have any famous person’s autographs? Nope. 

Do you draw well? Nope. 

What type of cell phone do you have? iPhone xr

Should you be doing anything else right now or are you just bored? I’m bored.

If you’re in school/college, what’s your favorite subject and why? My favorite subject must be social work... since that’s what I’m getting my master’s in. 

Are you a cat or a dog person? Why? Both. I love both my children equally.

Tell me about the plot of your favorite book. Young girl with a lot of cynicism about love finds it, self sabotages, and then gets it back.

Do you wear glasses or contacts? Yes. 

What do you think about horror movies? If you love them (I do), what’s your favorite? I enjoy them immensely. I’m not sure I have a favorite. 

Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I got my nephews walkie talkies. 

Do you do Black Friday shopping or wait for Cyber Monday? No. More of a cyber Monday gal. I also like to shop local. 

Have any mental illnesses? General anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and OCD. All three currently under great control. 

What’s your favorite word and why? Fuck. It’s just a great descriptor. 

What is the most expensive thing you own, and what is it? My car. 

Did you buy that item yourself? My mom helped, but then I paid her back because I am an adult. 

Where do you work and what is your postion? I work at a school as a supervisor.

How often do you cuss? Very. 

What type of car do you drive, if any? Chevy. 

Are you happy with it? If no, what’s your dream car? I like it. My dram car will forever be the OG VW bug. 

Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Which ones? Insta and snapchat. 

What is your favorite genre of music? Folk, blue grass, indie, alternative.

Does your family have holiday traditions? If so, what are they? Having some sort of relationship damaging conversation. 

If you’re in a relationship, are you happy with it? Not in one. 

How long have you been with your significant other? x

Do you like psychology? (It’s my college major). I enjoy it, I got my bachelors in psychology. Unfortunately, it’s too narrow a scope which is why I’ve taken up social work. As much as the individual’s brain chemicals matter, what matters more is the systematic garbage and social sanctions that create the individual’s environment and molds how they react and behave. 

What is something your state is popularly known for? Uhhh... Paul Revere.

Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Sometimes but I’m not super creative.

Do you watch sports or do you think they’re overrated? I think they’re overrated. I think that they put people in danger and they create this weird culture of worshiping people who are very flawed. I also think that the money in the industry would be better served elsewhere. 

What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? ^ honestly any weird celebrity occupation. It’s a weird culture. 

Do you straigthen your hair? Sometimes. 

Ever dyed your hair a color that isn’t natural? (blue, pink, etc) Yes. 

How’s your relationship with your parents? Right now my relationship is very strained with my mom, which is kind of unusual for us but has been a long time coming. My relationship with my dad, on the other hand, has always been strong- my personality is exactly like his.

Do you still live with them or do you have your own house? I live in an apartment by myself. 

What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? Possibly a home... within the next 5 years. 

Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? I smoke weed. I use a pax. 

Ever done drugs? Only marijuana and one time I used adderall to complete a paper.  

Tell me one of your worst habits. Biting my nails. 

What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? Well, when I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious I will touch my fingernails to my thumb in a pattern... guess that’s the OCD. 

If you game, what type of headset do you use? I don’t. 

What type of computer do you own, and do you like it? Chromebook. It works for me. 

What’s the thing that annoys you the most? Work politics. 

What brand of TV do you have? Vivio or something like that. 

Are you excited for Christmas? (It’s December 1st today when I made this) I’m excited to have my nephews and nieces around. 

Tell me about your favorite vacation you’ve taken. Phuket, Thailand. I went with one of my best friends for 10 days and soaked up the culture. 

Tell me something cool about yourself. I’m cool in general. 

Did/do you get good grades in school/college? In grade school and high school- not particularly because I didn’t apply myself because I had untreated anxiety and depression. In college I did amazingly because I lived with my dad and had ample support and was doing a lot of great self-care shit. 

What’s your ringtone on your phone? The Office. 

What’s your favorite store to shop in? Book stores. 

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy and why? I’d pay off the loans.

How long have you had a Bzoink account? No. 

Ever been to Field of Screams? If so, what’s your favorite attraction? No. 

Do you own a Polaroid camera? No.

Do you have hardwood floor in your room or carpet? Hardwood. I hate carpeting. 

It’s a Saturday night, what are you typically doing? I’m either at work or just having a lowkey evening in. 

Do you have a lot of friends or do you not have any at all? I have a lot of friends. 

What’s your all time favorite movie and why? Practical Magic. It’s just a classic. 

How many blankets do you sleep with at night? One. 

What’s the last TV show you watched? Did you enjoy it? Virgin River. It’s fine... but really I don’t “watch” tv... it’s typically background noise. 

Do you prefer cable TV or do you use Netflix? I stream only. 

What is your dream job and why? Therapist specializing in children and adolescents with anxiety disorders. 

Do you think you would be a good therapist? Absolutely. 

What’s your favorite brand of clothing? Not sure...

[amillionsmiles]

checking (you) out (Pidge/Lance)

Summary: Katie works the tech desk at the university library. Lance never remembers to wipe his memory card before returning the camera equipment, which is how she becomes intimately familiar with his life via, of all things, his vlogs. A/N: finally get to post this in full!  Written for @plance-zine ; it was wonderful to be part of such a project, and shoutout to the mods for keeping everything running smoothly! :)

[Read and review here] or continue under the cut.

People, Katie has decided, are predictable.  Watch them for long enough, and their everyday motions start to read like clockwork.  At 9 AM on Thursdays, she shows up for her shift behind the library’s tech desk. At 9:20, the girl with space buns and an artfully distressed jean jacket strides in, heading straight for one of the study pods.  At 9:25, somebody blows through the doors in a last-minute effort to print materials for their 9:30 class. And at 10:50, ten minutes before Katie’s shift ends, Lance McClain shows up, laboring under the weight of a camera bag, backpack, and tripod.

Katie reaches for the scanner as Lance puffs his way toward her, depositing the tripod on the table with a heavy clunk.   It takes him another minute to locate his student ID card: he checks the pocket of his cargo jacket first (not there—it never is) before wriggling his fingers into his jean pocket instead.  When he hands the plastic over, it’s warm from being pressed against his thigh.  

Katie spares it a passing glance as she pulls up the ‘Equipment Return’ form, filling in the requisite information.

“You’re good to go.”  She gives him a thumbs-up, careful not to look him straight in the eye.

“Cool, thanks.” Flashing a bright grin, Lance backpedals toward the doors, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.  

Once he’s disappeared completely from view, Katie unzips the camera bag. She flicks the dial to on and goes straight to display mode.  Sure enough, the schmuck hasn’t bothered wiping the memory card.  

Smirking, Katie kicks her feet up on the table and leans back in her chair.  

Let the entertainment begin.

o.O.o

Lance McClain does not know her name, and Katie is completely content with this.  She applied for her gig at the tech desk specifically because it required minimal human interaction.  Nobody expects her to make conversation; they just want to check out equipment and leave.  Occasionally she has to troubleshoot a printer jam or direct tourists to the bathrooms; most of the time, though, she just does her homework and gets paid.

Still, when someone visits at least twice a week, it’s hard not to notice.  The first time Lance left recording footage behind on the camera had sparked her interest, and from there it wasn’t too hard to find his YouTube channel, Facebook, and LinkedIn.  Which was how she knew that he was a second-year bio major with a side-job at the Starbucks in the Garrison, the student union, and in his free time he liked to record himself attempting to do stunts with his skateboard, if not narrating a funny story about his day or answering the call of things like the Cinnamon Challenge.  

Katie and Keith had gotten halfway through that video before Keith closed her laptop.

“I can’t watch you do this to yourself,” Keith said, shaking his head.  “Katie, you’re too good for him.”

“I’m hate-watching!” Katie justified, attempting to wrestle her Chromebook from Keith’s grip.  

“You know way too much about him to just be ‘hate-watching,’” said Keith, making air quotes with his left hand.  “You have his student ID number memorized.”

Katie glared.  She regretted letting that piece of information slip.  Memorizing Lance’s ID hadn’t even been intentional—it’d only happened because of how many times she’d typed his information into the system during checkout.  

“You go to office hours just so you can breathe the same air as your TA for an extra 120 minutes,” she retorted.  “You don’t get to lecture me on sad.”

Anyways.  All of this is to say that despite what Keith thinks, she does not have a weird, borderline crush-fascination with Lance.  And when she stumbles into Green Library’s 24-hr study room at 3 AM to work on a CS project, he’s the last person she’s expecting to see.

Lance is slouched in a swivel chair, earbuds plugged into the desktop in front of him.  One dangles loosely around his neck, the other shoved in his ear. Upon hearing someone else enter, he lurches to attention.  Katie pretends not to notice—she fully intends to sit on the other side of the room—but Lance doesn’t give her the chance.

“Hey!  You’re tech-desk girl!”

It’s a dumb nickname.  Definitely not something to get excited about, and Katie schools her features to reflect that.  She’s above all… this. Unaffected. “I have a name.”

A quirk of the lips.  Lance somehow manages to hook an ankle around the chair closest to him and spins it so the seat faces toward her, an offering.  “Wanna tell it to me?”

It’s uncannily close to the Pick-up Line Challenge video he posted to his account a month ago.  Katie tries not to think too hard about that.

“What’s in the thermos?” she asks instead, setting her backpack down and warily accepting the chair.  

“Redbull and coffee.”  Lance’s leg bounces under the table, fingers tapping a jittery rhythm on the keyboard.  “Wanna try some?”

“No thanks.  It sounds unholy.”

“Oh, it is.  Definitely a personal low, but sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.”  As he gulps his strange concoction, Lance’s face wrinkles, throat flexing as if he’s swallowed a frog.  “God, this is like… sacrilege for me.” His voice lowers, confiding. “I’m a barista.”

“I know,” blurts Katie.  Immediately after, she freezes, hoping that the comment will drop unnoticed.

No such luck.  Lance raises an eyebrow, questioning.  A strange light has entered his eyes; by admitting that she’s paid attention to him, Katie has suddenly become the sole focus of his attention.  

How much to admit?  Best to be blunt—rip it off like a bandaid.  The best defense is offense, and all that.

“You never delete your videos off the camera before you return it,” she says.

Whatever explanation Lance had been anticipating, this one catches him off guard.  His face contorts as he tries to process the information. “I—my videos?”

It’s almost too easy, slipping into the impersonation.  “Hey guys, it’s ya boi Lance, and today I’ll be—”

“Okay, okay.”  Lance waves his hands, cutting her off.  “Please do not continue.”

“I thought you’d be flattered hearing your own lines back at you.”

“Not like that, it’s weird!  You make me sound like a tool.”  He sighs. “Well, now I’m disappointed.”  

Katie frowns.  “Why?”

“I don’t know! I thought it’d be cool if you knew stuff about me because I was like, your secret Starbucks crush or something.”  At this, he shoots her a hopeful look.

“I don’t drink coffee.”

“We sell other stuff.  Also, you still haven’t told me your name.”

“It’s Katie,” she finally relents, breaking eye contact to pull her laptop out of her bag.  When she looks over again, Lance is resting his chin on his hand, staring at her thoughtfully.

“What.”

“So does this mean you subscribe to my YouTube channel?”

“No.”

Lance pouts.  “Why not?”

“I like the raw footage better.  It’s funnier. Like the first take of the spicy noodle challenge, where you spewed milk out of your nose?  Classic.” She cranes her neck to look over his shoulder. “What are you working on, anyways?”

“Nothing!” Lance pushes his body between her and the screen, the broad line of his back blocking her view.  

“Doesn’t sound like nothing if you’re being like that.”

“Hey, haven’t you heard about this thing called privacy?  4th Amendment! Search and seizure! Gimme back the mou— ow!”

Years of wrestling with Matt has made Katie adept at underhanded maneuvers; with Lance still rubbing his side from where she pinched him, she takes control of the mouse and opens up the window he’d minimized earlier.  Onscreen, several scenes are being recolored and spliced together; she recognizes the footage from earlier today.

“Do you always make your videos on the school computers?”

“I have my own laptop. It’s just shitty and will only run like, 2 programs at a time, and all that’s being directed towards a stats project right now.”  Lance eyes her sideways. “Hey, what major are you? Or, wait—are you a freshman? Have you even declared yet—”

“I’m a sophomore.  Computer science and math.”

“Ah, the double major.”  Lance nods, then puffs out his chest.  “Guess what I am.”

Common sense tells Katie that she should play dumb.  Let him have the satisfaction of correcting her. But her overwhelming need to prove she knows things wins out.

“Pre-med bio.”

Lance blinks.  “Wow, first guess.”  His surprise turns sly.  “You do have a crush on me.”

Katie rolls her eyes.  “Don’t flatter yourself.  All it takes is a quick LinkedIn search.”

“Yeah, but you only fully read through someone’s LinkedIn when you’re a) hiring or b) evaluating their bae potential.  It’s okay—” he holds up a hand, cutting off her protest, “—I’m honored, truly.”

“You’re ridiculous.”  This entire interaction has gone so far off the rails, she doesn’t know how to begin redirecting it.  Lance, meanwhile, shifts focus easily, pulling a camera out of his backpack and popping the lens cap off with practiced ease.  The next thing Katie knows, it’s pointed at her, Lance narrating: “You’ve heard of Sleepless in Seattle, but we’re here with Sleepless in the Study Room, guest-starring my new friend Katie!”

“What—who said we were friends?” says Katie, trying to duck out of the frame.  Lance is an unerring videographer, though; he follows every motion.  Backed into a corner, Katie swats at the lens before remembering that it’s from the tech desk and, therefore, her responsibility.  She stays her hand.

“We’ve been talking for over half-an-hour,” Lance says, flashing his phone at her, where 3:30 AM makes itself known in thin white strokes.  “I’d say that counts for something.”

His smile is bright and close.  It’s probably the lack of sleep that’s making her loopy, but the feeling underneath her skin is not unlike a sugar rush.  

“I guess,” she says.

o.O.o

She regrets everything the next morning.  The minute she gets behind the tech desk, Katie thumps her head down and starts calculating. If she naps in ten minute increments, maybe she’ll recuperate some of her lost sleep and still manage to do her job.

The hours crawl by slowly.  At 10:50, the characteristic whoosh of the automatic doors awakens her from her latest sleep cycle, and from somewhere above, an entirely too chipper voice says: “You look like you could use a pick-me-up.”

“This is your fault,” Katie groans, raising her chin to glower at Lance.  “Because of you, I got distracted, and then I had to stay up even later to finish coding.”

“I know, I was there.  You are a very aggressive programmer, by the way.”

“Just pass over your card so I can check this equipment back in,” she grumbles, wiggling her fingers in demand.  Instead, though, Lance curls her fingers around a warm paper cup.

Katie stares at it blankly.  “I told you I didn’t drink coffee.”

“It’s my special blend,” Lance insists.  “You’ll like it, promise.”

“Yeah, well, it’s going to have to wait ten minutes,” sighs Katie, pushing it to the side and heaving the camera and tripod over the desk. “I’m not allowed to have drinks back here.  On-duty policy.”

“Then I’ll keep it safe in the meantime,” says Lance, snatching it back.  “I’ll just be over here.”

Katie watches him stake out a table.  Blinks a few times, to confirm that he’s still there.  This isn’t part of their usual routine. It feels strange but not entirely unwelcome.  

When she flicks to the camera’s memory card, it’s clean.  That’s weird, too—that they actually had a fully fledged conversation, and he took something she said to heart.  In fact, the other night, she’s pretty sure she made him laugh. And there’d been a moment, where Lance had tipped his head back, eyes crinkling, and Katie had thought: shit, maybe Keith had been onto something after all.

When her shift ends, she heads over to the table that Lance has staked out.  In characteristic Lance fashion, he’s already found a way to unfold himself over all the available space: backpack slung over the back of an empty chair, feet kicked up on the seat opposite him.  Katie nudges them aside as she sits down, reaching over to grab her coffee, and Lance’s face brightens.

“By the way, your earbuds aren’t plugged in completely,” she says, sipping her drink.  Lance, despite only knowing her from their interactions the night before, has somehow guessed at her sweet tooth, and the foamy latte goes down easily.  “Nice music.”

Lance rips the buds from his ears, gaping down at his phone in horror. Onscreen, a disturbingly animated baby waves its arms, singing, Yes papa, as a banjo strums in the background.  Katie marks that down as another piece of information on Lance: listens to educational children’s music in his free time.

“In my defense, it’s for a project.”

“Sure it is,” she says, slapping Lance’s hand away when he tries to grab the coffee back in retaliation, and it’s so natural to mess with him like this, to laugh and call him noodle arms and have everybody else glare at them for being disruptive.

I think it counts for something, Lance had said the other night.

Something, indeed.  

[klainelynch]

2017 in review

I always say that I’m going to post a “how my year was” at the end of the year, but I have an awful memory so I never remember what happened in each month. This year, I tried to post about each month as it finished- the good and the bad. Under a cut because of course it got long, and I never seem to post about my real life, so this may be boring if you don’t actually know me.

January

Got a snow day after having students for just one day

Accidentially read a book in one night (Perfect) because of aforementioned snow day/borrowing it electronically from the library/not knowing how many pages there were (not that many since it’s YA)

Got two more snow/ice days because my county has mountains in it and we’re in the South, so we’re not prepared for winter

Saw Hidden Figures and cried about how good humanity can be when we actually allow and encourage all people to be their best (black women!!!! they did that!!!!!!!)

Helped my students navigate our county’s program of going one-to-one with Chromebooks (there were many good things, such as getting my kids to play freerice for extra credit; there were many bad things, such as a quiz getting screwed up because I shuffled the questions but had asked my co-teacher to help me by reading the quiz [as she normally does] to a half dozen students...who all had a different order of questions...).

Went to a conference for new teachers and while a lot of the information was repetitive, there were a few things I got from it (such as 6.5 professional development hours aw yis).

Got to see lots of family I don’t usually see on this weekend!

Started reading The Diary of Anne Frank with my students because this country allowed fascism to be A Thing™ and I’m going to resist however I can.

Got two (!!!!!!) days off at the end of January for sick days (apparently other students in the county? not us but we benefitted!!!!)

February

Finally had an entire 5-day week of school

Then got another two days off for sickness (8th grade was doing our part by asking ENTIRE classes “Hey! Anyone feel sick? Anyone want to go get their temp checked???”)

Went to an open house at a local mosque, and y’all, I live in The South™ but their parking lot filled up a good 15 minutes before the event even started and there was an overflow room and so much support for this community during the Muslim Ban and it just filled my heart with joy

Got a haircut (it was literally down to my butt y’all!!!!) and now it’s right below my shoulders

Had pedal extensions installed in my car because I’m 4′9 and would have literally died if the airbags went off.

March

Got my professional teaching license! I’m no longer an apprentice! I don’t have to have 4 observations a year!!! Only 2! And while I’m REALLY good at playing the observation game (and am MUCH better at this than the testing game), it will be nice to not think about it so much.

My mom came to stay for a few days because it was her and my sister’s spring break.

During that week, I had a LONG 4 day week, which included staying at my school until 7:30 for a town hall meeting/carnival/extravaganza. F U N.

My spring break was purposefully low-key. I rested a lot, read books, caught up on Netflix, shopped at Old Navy, and went to the local art museum for the first time (I’ve only been in this city for 8 years...)

April

I found that I actually enjoy teaching how to write an essay. The 5 paragraph essay, while it has many faults, is a really good place for beginning writers (which 8th graders are) to begin. I had a student tell me that she liked how I made each sentence have a specific purpose because she was able to plug in her evidence and thoughts more easily- this honestly made my whole day.

That being said, I HATE teaching essays when students are absent. Trying to get them caught up and keep everyone else on track is SO MUCH WORK. Especially when the absent students don’t come to me during my plan to make up their work...

For two whole days, my last period class was not allowed to use erasers because some people (two boys, as it turned out) were shredding and throwing them at each other.

I turned 26

The Welcome to Night Vale Live Show FINALLY TRAVELED TO TENNESSEE AND Y’ALL CECIL (REAL CECIL NOT THE CHARACTER) IS FROM KNOXVILLE!!!! The weather singer was super fun (she played Rocky Top and we ate that shit up like biscuits and gravy with no shame whatsoever) and the show itself was just so much fun even though I went alone. It was almost an hour of normal segments with the plot of the glow cloud, but they also brought in Steve Carlsburg and Tamika Flynn (I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied when she walked on stage because I majorly crush on that actress whoops) and watching those actors interact on stage was so much fun.

May

End of the school year is always chaotic and better left forgotten tbh

We took the 8th graders to the local theme park, and it was really good (though my expectations were super low because last year’s trip SUCKED). The weather looked like it might rain, but it was nice all day, the kids were pretty good, and the rides were fun.

There were some really sad community deaths around this time :(

The teacher who normally MCs the 8th grade commencement is now an administrator, so while we still had him open the ceremony, I gave out several of the awards, and I don’t think I did a bad job (two of the other teachers hate public speaking and the last one was new to the team this year, so I was really the only choice).

June

Worked my church’s festival, which is always fun. The crowds are never what they ought to be (due to a combination of rain threats and poor marketing), so a lot of people missed out on some really great food and music.

Great music included a new band- Southern Avenue- that I got to see again later in the year.

I had to miss the third day of the festival because of a friend’s baby shower. I knew a few people (besides the couple), but they left early; luckily, the people throwing it were a lot of fun. We played games (don’t get caught saying “baby”; pin the sperm on the egg; etc) and decorated diapers/onesies/bibs for the baby). The next day, we went to church (IN A MOTHERFUCKING MONSOON) and for Mexican food.

Started my reread of Harry Potter (it had been about 5 years since I’d last read the series). I cried in almost every book, and not always at sad parts. I’ve become very protective of Harry as I’ve gotten older.

My younger brother found an NES, which was the console I grew up with and my parents gave away years ago. They really loved to play on it, so this was a wedding anniversary present for them. The Legend of Zelda is the shit.

July

I finally got a new phone (I’d had mine about 3 years, and it died in May) and I know it’s fun for iphone users to shit on Android users, but I really do love the camera quality on my Samsung.

Rachel came to visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We drank wine and went to the zoo and got real bbq and the best donuts in the world

Had a Treat Yo Self Day which included:

WAFFLE HOUSE

BITCH!!!! B I T C H

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN GET AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE

DO

YOU

KNOW

COUNTRY HASHBROWNS!!!!!

aka

biscuits and gravy minus the biscuits plus the hashbrowns

I just had regular biscuits and gravy BUT ALLI HAD THE GLORY

I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

McKay’s

I bought Pokemon yellow because I never played/watched it as a kid, and while at my house for the summer, I found the old black & white gameboy an older cousin gave me, so naturally I had to do it.

Pokemon Go

yes still

You know what once I was back in town I went to my favorite library almost every day for an hour or two and read while opening Pokemon Go every few minutes so there

Went with some of my best friends to visit another one of our best friends who lives in the middle of fucking nowhere and had adventures including, but not limited to: getting pizza because we were too weak to change out the gas’s grill, waiting 5ever for food at dinner, and watching the entire Flowers in the Attic series.

August

School started back up, and at the kick-off for all the teachers, I won $500 in a drawing of all the people who hadn’t used a sick day last year!!!!!

And I didn’t even realize that I’d won $200 at the previous school board meeting in the same type drawing!!!!

New class started off with 85 students. It was a DREAM to be able to focus on individuals and not just herd cats.

I actually felt more confident in the classroom with my early units (poetry & our whole class novel).

September

Still felt confident in the classroom!

I got my testing scores back from the previous year (this shit takes 5ever and it’s dumb) and did better in about the only way I could have, so that was good to see.

I had about 10 county people in my classroom (principals, academic coaches, etc) to see a certain style of teaching ELA that the county is working on. It’s basically making sure that teachers keep students engaged in complex text (which is what I do almost every day anyway) and I had been to two of these trainings already, so I knew what sort of lesson worked. Well...they LOVED it!!! The kids were in small groups and did SO GOOD discussing evidence/answering questions (they all got candy afterwards) and I got some good feedback about how I talk to my students. Then that same day the superintendent came in my room (one of several rooms he visited while doing his yearly observation on the principal). That visit was super unannounced, but still fine.

The academic coach got rid of my classroom’s desks and found tables and chairs instead!!!! My classroom is tiny and weird shaped, so this works SO MUCH BETTER.

I help coach volleyball (aka I keep the books) and the girls won district (beating out a team with a redneck grandma in the stands who literally came up to our girls and yelled at them for cheering on their own damn team in the previous game). They didn’t do so well at sectionals, but that’s ok.

October

Holy shit I won another $200 in that drawing!!! And this time my parents let me buy them plane tickets so we could see family over Christmas.

LESLIE ODOM JR CAME TO MY CITY AND HE PERFORMED BEAUTIFUL MUSIC AND I WAS THERE AND I DIED

Got to see a lot of family at my cousin’s ‘wedding party’ (he got married last year in Europe since he met his now wife over there, and wanted to have a family party here). I learned that my uncle and his son dance exactly the same at the same level of alcohol.

November

I should have known something was up when my first 9 weeks went so well. Apparently my county is in the bottom tier for the state, and now everyone is freaking out (never mind that the data to support this was mONTHS LATE AND BASED ON STANDARDIZED TESTS WHICH WERE A CLUSTERFUCK TO BEGIN WITH) so there was a lot of school stress during this time.

Nice things though- got to see friends when their baby was baptized and went home for Thanksgiving, where my dad came into the Catholic Church.

I organized most of the 8th grade field trip for the semester- going to see “A Christmas Carol” put on by my old college’s theatre. I was stressed the entire time because if something went wrong it would be on ME, but it was absolutely wonderful and I cried which honestly surprised me. We went to the local mall for our lunch and it was good to see the kids just relax. It was a great field trip and several people including the principal thanked me for my hard work which felt great after a hard month.

December

School was nothing but survival mode per usual.

Hosted the Christmas party for my friend group at church and it was a lot of fun.

The actual break was fast- we flew to Texas with one of my mom’s sisters and her family to visit their brother and his family. I hadn’t been to Texas since high school, so it was fun to explore and eat good food.

My final count for books was 93 (67 new and 26 reread) (I’m trying to finish an audiobook I’m borrowing from the library but I still have 80 minutes left and literally 4 hours to finish it so we’ll see!!!).

[lavieboheme930]

705

When was the last time you did something for the first time? Jan. 2018 when I did my first open mic Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Easter Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? Just whenever really What color bottoms are you wearing right now? royal blue Do you love life?! Sure What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? NONE!!!  Worked there for 7 long years and was treated like shit by workers and customers.  Rather not think about that place

What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? Red shirt and my pirate jacket What’s on your wish list right now? a boyfriend would be nice What do you use to sweeten your tea? honey or sugar Which dollar store do you like best? None.  I hate dollar stores Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No What’s one challenge you want to complete for youtube? None If you make youtube videos, do you have a posting schedule? I don’t make youtube When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? When I did my open mic I guess How would you rate your self-esteem? low, healthy, or high? Ehh I really don’t know Do you own a tripod for your camera? No Would you rather go to London, Paris, or Tokyo? London Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Hilary Duff Which Olsen twin was your favorite: Mary-Kate or Ashley, and why? Ashley Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? Yes I do!!! Do you enjoy putting outfits together? Sure Would you rather it rain or snow? Neither What does your umbrella look like? Don’t have one What color are your nails painted? maroon called Divine Are your nails always painted? Pretty much now they are What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Nothing Do you wear headbands? Nope Do you own a boho bandeau? No Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? tunic What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I think all trends are ridiculous  Which youtuber do you want to be more like? NONE!!! Do you wear jeggings or leggings more? leggings ^Same questions, but jeggings or skinny jeans? Either or Do you like stuffed animals? Yes What was your favorite class in high school? None.  Hated high school Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes? Yes.  Many Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? No What’s the best coffee shop in your town, in your opinion? Periscope coffee Are you happy today? Yes If so, what made you happy today? I just always try to be happy in general When was the last time you woke up to a beautiful sunrise? HA!  I don’t wake up for sunrise LOL Is your bed right by a window? Nope Do you spent more time in your bedroom or your living room? Bedroom cause I work from home and do my work from my room since it’s my office as well  Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Halloween Do you decorate for holidays? Yes What craft project do you want to do next? None Do you name stuffed animals still? Yes Do you still own your favorite Barbie? No What was your favorite Barbie? I don’t remember Favorite Bratz doll? I think her name was Frankie Favorite American Girl doll? Samantha  Favorite Disney princess? Jasmine Favorite cartoon character? Aladdin Are you rebellious? No What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Nothing What’s your favorite thing about yourself? How friendly I am Have you ever celebrated Valentine’s Day when you were single? Usually I hate Valentine’s Day cause I’ve always been single.  But this year, I did celebrate even being single cause I went to see Michael Carbonaro!!!! What’s your dream date? I don’t know

If you were dating a guy right now, where would you want him to take you? N/A Is there a guy you regret letting slip away? No Are you a guy or a girl? Girl

Are you more boho, girly, edgy, sporty, or hipster? I’m just me Which stereotype do you fit the most? None What titles did you win in the senior class polls? I was homeschooled Were you popular in school? No If you won a car, what color would you like it to be? Black or red Do you wear hats? all the time Do you ever put your hair up in the winter? No.  I hardly ever put it up ever Do you have bangs? No ^If not, have you ever had bangs? Yes How many siblings do you have? None Do you have any family members that you’ve never met? I’m sure of it If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? just New York Who was your best roommate? Never had a roommate Was your first roommate your best roommate? N/A What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on? Washington DC Do you have a Mac or a PC? chromebook Do you use iMovie? Sometimes What’s your dream job? The one I have now, Author What types of youtube videos are your favorite to watch? None Which do you watch more: TV, youtube, or movies? TV Do you prefer books or movies? Books Have you ever wanted to be a model? No Are you cold right now? Yes What do the last pair of pants you bought look like? No idea which those were What store(s) do you do most of your shopping at? All sorts of places What style of wedding dress is your favorite? I don’t care What years did you attend prom? Only the senior formal in college, 2005 What color is the last sweater you wore? Gray What do you want to be for Halloween? Flatfoot the Pirate cause it was favorite custome What is your name, and what are the different spelling variations of it? Christine.  And there are many Do you like your name how it’s spelled? Yes Would you change your name if given the chance? No Did you ever want to be famous? Nah Would you ever want to be famous now? Nah Who are the cutest babies you see on facebook? Whatever What would your name had been if you were born the opposite gender? Joseph If you had a twin of the same gender, what would his/her name be? No idea What is your first and middle name? Not telling you What year were you born? 1983 How old does that make you? 35 

[ch0cocrave]

I decided to draw Aka's Pinapple gal!

@akalikestodraw