#i hate speaking like an authority on subjects that i dont think i actually know enough about

[my-strange-attraction]

fellow label anarchist! i have been reading into the history of stud and i really identify with it. I like how powerful and wanted it makes me feel. People have been saying i can’t ID as stud because I’m not a lesbian and i don’t match the definition of it fully (i’m pretty pale). But labels are just words and to me it means something different. I guess i’m taking a leaf out of your book and saying fuck them and identify however you want!

Ok, I don't want to yuck your yum or cause offense in any way, but you do seem to have run into one specific situation in which I might draw a line. I'm also having trouble articulating the issue fully here because I am white as well (assuming that's what you meant by pale), so if any poc can add on in the comments and speak to this, I would be so grateful for that.

I keep saying I'm a label anarchist because most of the time with queer labels, using one that doesn't necessarily "fit" you is not harming others in any way. I've only done a cursory search on Google about the stud label, since I'm not super well-versed with that one, but it does seem to be a label coined by black mascs to differentiate from their white counterparts.

I guess the best way I can think to explain why this is different than identifying as, say, a lesbian when bisexual is probably a better descriptor is by comparing it to the conservative argument against transgenderism where they claim that it would be the same thing as claiming to be "trans-race." It's difficult to fully articulate WHY these are different things, but we all know that they very obviously are.

It just seems, to me, like it might be appropriation to use that term when butch (and other masc labels like stone or just masc) exists.

I may be way off here. I'm not super knowledgeable about the various lesbian labels beyond a surface level understanding, and I'm also not involved in conversations about them. I really want to invite anyone who knows more than me to share their opinions/ understanding in the comments or reblogs, because I do feel out of my depth here a bit.

Ultimately, the first part, not being lesbian and using the label, I totally agree with—there are so many queer identities and to restrict expression descriptors like "butch" and "femme" to just lesbians doesn't make much sense, especially since there's so much overlap in the queer community. I would just be really careful with anything involving race, because it just seems like it might be infringing upon a safe space they've created for themselves, and that kind of thing actually IS harmful to those communities.

[austinsastrology8991]

> Issues I have with you/occult / world < *long post* do not read if you don't want to waste your time < a subjective analysis of Astrology, numerology, manifestation, and a subtle exposé of my life

I got issues... but more importantly i got issues with you. I do a lot of research n i hate being told what to do/ and the occult gotta habit of telling me who tf i am.

and Im better at telling myself who tf I am.

THIs is who i am. <^> stop googly eyin me; foo

This is a fkn mess of a post > try your best to read; it was meant to be a story but im incapable > I just want you to have headache (me after reading this shit 20 times or whatever it is) i;m tired. now go away. or read. or die in a hole. all the same to me. astrology is a subjective subject. IDGAF how many books youve read or how many people you speak too; we are literally looking at a planet in space and are saying shit liek " oh im dat type of pretty (venus), im dominant over here (mars), and thats why my life sux (saturn) " meanwhile, the planet still just rotating and we like acting like we apart of its orbit. Its objectively a subjective subject... > its objective only in your natal chart - where the planets are etc.... but interpretations > subjective Sidenote- Im obsessed with astrology.... because my life sucks. and i need to like feel productive somehow - stfu i know this isnt productive, but tell me what you doing? don't act all jiminy cricket on me, when your soundtrack is that of a cricket beginning of rant Also: the mythology and practise of intepretating planets and asteroids, and well the complicated drama that is greek/roman mythology. while there is plenty of overlap, the sheer concept of 2 different intepretations created upon from, 2 seperate cultures, creates different texts and slight differences inherent within each story. this initself creates a subjective intepretation of aforementioned stories > not to mention other cultures who likely put their own narrative of these mythos > it allows us to also intepret it in our own way > it is all just imagination at the end of the day. Whilst the themes are uncannily similar, the form is always different, and thats why I like to intepret it in my own way, and i recommend you do tooo (Alike everything in this subject) ; however we need some clear rules, and guidelines, to make this subject actually palatable, but i fear this community would rather keep it confusing so we can treasure the secrets of the occult on our own. and to that I do understsnd, however, anyone reading tumblr astrology, I believe to already be taking that leap into the occult and should be granted at least some introductory access. and here is (1) problem

Astrology signs are the how, and the houses are the where, > yet you all describe 2nd house a whole lot like tuarus, 10th house lot like capricorn. I mean Ik its similar but yall acting like its different yet your intepretations aint all dat different from each other..... but if the how for you is the where for me, then how tf is it so hard for me to see the differences?… if there is such a startling difference like yall always claim.. to me the themes are so fkn similar whereby > i think its the same > degree, house, sign; same shit diff smell

This however made 4 years ago me, very insecure.:.. 😢I couldn’t figure out the difference and I felt dumb 🤧 but That was 4 years ago - I was noob…. made me realize things like: we got an attitude problem today - we youngins always apologizing, trying to make others comfortable about our bullshit (Anxiety skill issue), yet the old fucks are hella comfortable telling us what to do (authority skill issue), like bro. you dont even know me, and im supposed to bow to you, just so your gonna bread crumb me with some bs self professed 'useful' advice??? if you talked to each other youd realize you all have the same advice... and you too old to keep up with my problems, so stop acting like you know.....

and so like uh, its not bold of me to say that; if your a legit astrologer you know you can just read people. yes everyone has free will, and other explanations to undermine the importance of astrology, but we know whats going on > try me > *sales pitch noise*<

Tumblr astrology is good but not proffesional, just: posts about random asteroids, random observations, random sexytime, and the occasional ‘official’ astrologers bread crumbing us to incentivize us to pay for a reading…. Now I got nothing better to do with my life (nor do you clearly) so we all on here fucking around> but I made da sacrifice > I spent real money

And these 'readings' > dog shit I tell ya > oh don’t worry none of them were from tumblr people. But people in my city and they knew less than what I knew (from reading your tumblr shits)

So it turns out you guys lowkey experts - we done a million random astrology observations - and if your a lurker, you lowkey know more than some pros; and da concept of analyzing people in your life with astrology has made you a *drum roll* > an average astrologer. your not average, if the experts are only 20% better than you (lets say). so with this in mind your not that far off their expertise.. oh you cant measure it? tell me what i dont know < (tell me more) IM HUNGRY, MORE POSTS, MY FEED IS FUCKInG HUNGRY

Now however wasting my money > pissed me off… but its a blessing, becasuse i became >.....> not depressed!!! Finally I got my energy back >>> legs go...

So I learned to read astrology. I just kept reading these websites and interpreting them and well.. I think they overcomplicate a lot of things, and they say it like a report card, when obviously you and I are multiple planets, aspects, houses, degrees, house lords, persona charts, midpoints, asteroids, not to mention composite, synastry, transits solar return , and all da other fkn ones that I cannot be bothered mentioning. Yet there’s a whole fucking essay about one aspect… like bro you couldn’t make a summary? and im supposed to read each of my other aspects? (ofc i did) but like this is just trying to make me spend money (too much reading) and well Im a greedy little fuck so imma drain your resources and not give you a dime >t > SWIPER NO SWIPING <

and i hate watching people trynna act like they know shit yet eat their own words n adjectives like you aint a professional; you just labeled yourself one > wheres your doctorate at bitch? Had enough shitty readings to not trust another 'tarot reader', but its cool the 'psychologists' aint did much better > thank you mother for the birth of my existence but shi dis place a fkn willy wonkin fsctory - and its foul - most places that try to help you that is.... ' you need to be able to receive help' bitch stfu yall underestimsting my problems and overestimating your ability to make me feel better; BITCH I STFG you dont know shiiiiitiittttttttttt > and yall look happy dont you > "dont trust a bartender who dont drink bitch" - KanYe. Numeroloy 'master numbers' > So many sites only use master numbers from 11 > 22 > 33... but wheres the 44? the 55? the 66?????? dont tell me yall didnt realize that every 'master number' still reverts back to each number (9). > 11 =2, 22 = 4, 33=6, 55 = 1, 66 = 3, 77=5..... bro god stsyed outta this mess clearly..... and its always the ones that be inventing new gods that fuck everything too 🤫 furthermore annoyances of numerofuckology - because they reduce the number back down.. .e.g. you have life path 89 > which is simplified to 17 > then to 8.... why not use 89? why we dissin 9 ????? let alone the complete number??? why not intepret both numbers together???? yall just wanna do 1 because your simple with it. and 9 getting left out fr... and yall always celebrating how special 9 is yet he always left out (magic of math - adding 9 - always reverts back to original) honestly - sometiems its so obvious why yall became numerologists sometimes...... Dont even get me started on ANGEL NUMBERS i could neva stfu

i mean yall still trying to test how true it all is, but if you throw a fish at a pisces they gonna go all googly eye on you. tell a scorpio that you intimidated and now your their favourite informant... read their life path number, and you know what they wanna be doing with their life.... i mean it really is a key, and yall locks are looser than you think... watch yo back.. i wouldnt trust someone who can help me (what do they even want), let alone get help from someone who is useless; why would you? dont act like you dont have trust issues, its like our way of relating to each other at this point. your good at sex if you have.... what about the other person? i mean if you masterbate to yoself maybe.... but if a composite chart / synastry have say - chiron eros? pluto saturn? mars dejanira.... how much are you gonna be fucking yourself when you fucked a dirty fucka..... rip virginity - and rip yo self esteem - dangerous game to value your sex appeal as much as you do...... or maybe your living a fantasy on the internet, and that is healthier, but thoughts are manifestations.... oh shit what da fuck have i manifested oh shitttttttttt IM BEING SUCKED IN A VORTEX OF MY OWN SHIT, SOMONE CALL A MANIFESTOR AGHJH AGJJGH please dont be offended, i do like this community; im just a devils advocate... sometimes 👹

you guys put too muhc importance on manifeststion, and i mean if you think its facts, look at what the people around you are manifesting.... OH thats why you isolate so much. so your manifesting loneliness.... oh you try to help people, so your just a trash can for a rubish person.... you see what i mean, manifestation aint so clear cut as you seem to believe. I believe in it, but Im so used to receiving crap, I learned to enjoy eating shit (we all did) and what is "one mans trash is another mans soap" - fight club Oh and Pluto my favourite - every curse a blessing and every blessing a curse.... stop complaining > he gave you the sauce and the only way to show you was to make you cry > lil bitch > pluto profile pic winking at you rn natal > persona > midpoint > composite > synastry > transit > return charts this is the offical order governed by me- so much more imporatnt to understand yourself over what the world got installed / what your partner doing - work on yo insecurities rather than be worried about something you have no control ova

hmmm thats all the issues i have for now.... just look at me as the boy who cried wolf. they aint a wolf here yet; but they gonna be, and im warning yall > why people dont get it...its because there are too many contradictions > but i fully believe, ive had so many spiritual experiences where if i denied them, id be drinking alcohol and pretending i aint a alcoholic. and i do love yall, but sometimes your an eye roll 29th post requires. 29 degree typa energy - YOlo MOfo

[unhetalia]

NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT the way native Americans are written in the series, especially in the first installation, is so odd to me. They're, like. all kind of evil?!?!??! or at least ambivalent, which, like you said, isn't Wrong per se because the idea of the noble savage IS still offensive and puts natives on a pedestal for no reason beyond being native and being subject to colonization, but like... maybe you shouldn't portray THE white colonizer and his people who are arriving to colonize native land as the only good characters in a sea of solely natives. That's why I lowkey fuck with Osha tbh, like I think she's unfairly hated on and played too much of a villain role.... yeah she's evil but like, I think she needs someone to balance out the hate she receives from every other character, especially when apparently like everything England does is actually not bad or didn't even happen, so it's okay.....! ALSO--ok this is going to get so specific, but I have literally 0 people to talk to about this, so I'm rambling, sorry--the part where Alfred says that he was glad when he found English because it was easier for him to speak/remember than Oneida always made me ??? 'cause it feels like it implies that English is, like, The innate American Language when it's not?? at all?? idk it just feels very essentialist in a way, like Alfred is Inherently English/Anglo-Saxon even though he represents almost every other kind of person and culture possible. It also feels like the story/the author hones in on biology and biological connection too much in that vein, too, where it's like Alfred's biology suddenly dictates the languages he can speak even before he knows they exist, the things he does, the interests he has. There's no way he didn't have a grasp on his NATIVE language!!! That's literally the language he was raised to speak, bfr.... You can forget native languages, but it's not really played as something he really cares about missing, so it feels more like English is just better! which I dont like Ok ramble over sorry <3

No it's ok! Tbh I'm also mildly Osha rights because I think she loved Alfred but the grief and anger and pain twisted it all up and caused her to lash out. JUST like how Arthur's grief and anger and pain made him lash out at Alfred for hundreds of years! I think if you tilt your head Osha can be redeemed and it can easily be proven how much she loves Alfred.

I guess there's also that implication that Alfred is not fully European despite his looks and if we're talking about biology I wonder if Alfred could biologically be Osha's as well as Arthur's? I don't think the writer will go there, but Osha raised Alfred despite what everyone said and did her best with what she had and I truly believe that!!!

I've forgotten that scene about English being easier, but I agree - and I also think it's wild that Alfred can't speak Spanish after all these years, especially considering how intelligently he's written (which I love).

I think what the fic does amazingly (and what I hope in the future with Osha) is showing different perspectives and showcasing how people's views aren't always right. The build up to the reveal about Alfred not remembering Rhys, and even how the author will show Matthew thinking one thing about Alfred, and then contrasting that with the viewpoint of someone else and therefore showing the reader that what they think isn't necessarily right. It's so masterful! I could only hope to write in that way one day! And I can only DREAM of completing 800k worth of fic.

[pupplaylogan]

i am an ""antishipper"" who would also be referred to as a proshipper, and while I hate both terms, I absolutely refuse to associate with (most) proshippers.

Proshipping & antishipping are incredibly black and white terms that do not allow the nuance and complexity into the discussion about media and what someone should be "allowed to ship".

proshipping refers to someone who supports taboo and dark content within media, no matter what it is, how it is shown, who is writing it, etc. antishipping refers to someone who does not support taboo and dark content, no matter what.

but those statements do not fully express how someone might actually feel in regards to media. and then there's so many microlabels underneath these labels that i feel like the meaning of these words get so convoluted and mixed up.

So for example: I don't care what someone writes about. I don't care if they want to write incest, pedophilia, bestiality, rape, of any other dark concept. I don't care if they want to roleplay that, draw it, enjoy it, it does not matter to me. I don't think we should have rules on what we should and shouldnt be allowed to write about (or even enjoy in media).

However, I do think that it is up to the author on how they want to portray what they are writing. Whether or not they are writing it in a way that shows that this concrpt is bad and wrong and that they are not romanticising it. HOWEVER, I also think authors can write something however they want to AND readers have to bring their own moral compass when it comes to what theyre reading. They cannot be spoon-fed. & then on TOP of that readers also need to know when an author is writing something bcuz they do support it or or writing something bcuz they dont support it. thats how media consumption works and how critical thinking works.

and also shipping incest or pedophilia is inherently different than an author writing a taboo subject. writing a fanfiction is inherently different than being an author writing a literal book. thats why lolita by vladimir nabokov is viewed as okay and fine, and why (some) tv shows (most of the time) don't get criticism for showing taboo topics, but your pedophilic rape fanfiction does. because they're written in different contexts. No one in fandom is exploring the concept of pedophilia and the effects it has on people and choosing how they're portraying it— theyre writing something to either get off to it or to have fun (which is a whole other convo).

I know proshippers that would still call me an antishipper and I know antishippers who would call me a proshipper. That is what comes with this fucking community. i hate these goddamn labels, but i find that most proshippers tend to have a very simplistic view on media (obviously, both sides of this argument are way more complex than everyone makes it out to be and i do not speak for every proshipper) which is why I choose not to associate with them. I don't think a book is the same as your smutty fanfiction.

and ontop of that: ganic can ask anyone to not associate with him because its their fucking blog. i dont care if ganic has the most proshipping views ever (which ... star literally does not), if they say "im going to block proshippers" then they can do that. i love u ganic 🧡

anyway sorry for rambling i just love this topic sooo much and i love having a conversation about it but no one ever wants to. everyone wants to argue and wants to be right and correct in their minds.

I hate to break it to you but according to antis, writing "immoral" content is proship even if it's tagged appropriately

Personally I've gotten hate over this

It's why I try not to get into discussions about it bc it sounds ridiculous.

Ive never met a so called "proshipper" who "flaunts" or "endorses" anything other than a "tag it appropriately" mindset.

Like call me crazy, but that was the default stance in fandom until a few years ago and now it's all anti/pro discourse

Most of the discourse I've seen is antis accusing "proship" of pedophilia and it really just seems like purity politics.

You're free to have your own opinions ofc, but the "leave people be, just tag it" idea has been deemed proship behavior. unfortunately.

i understand where youre coming from anon and im not looking to argue because unfortunately that gets nobody anywhere, but a lot of "proshipping" present nowadays is just straight up pedophilia. and maybe you havent met people like that, but i have and it makes me really uncomfortable hence why i (me, as in myself, as in ganic, as in anxiousgaypanicking) do not want proshippers following me/engaging with my content/etc

i know i cant stop all of it, but i really dont want to look at you and immediately know. as i said in my replies, you can be proship and be silent about it lol. it actually takes more effort to post bluey x biscuit smut or write a detailed post about why you think arya stark should be tied up and viciously assaulted by men three times her age

let it be known im very anti-censorship (i reblogged a neil gaiman post a while ago detailing exactly why). im not going to stop you from proshipping, nor am i going to stop you from having that belief. what i am going to do is say i dont like it and i dont want it around me. write what you want. ship what you want. i actually dont fucking care??? because im just some random person on the internet. like... you can call it purity politics, and you can say you havent seen people endorsing it, but i believe that you are wrong in both of these statements

i think that "leave it be, just tag it" isnt an awful mentality. but i think "hey, maybe thinking this child character should be raped by their father" or "hey i think these brothers should bang" as a coping mechanism for trauma you went through is something that needs to be addressed in a private, medicinal setting, and not on the internet. mentally? do what you want. god, even on tumblr, do whatever you want. just dont interact with me??? thats all im saying. i dont like you and what you believe and the things you choose to do, and if you think im proship for writing rape then yeah, i see how that could be labeled as proshipping, and im not arguing against that either. again, im very anti-censorship, for a bunch of reasons (ill try and find that neil gaiman reblog, but basically anti censorship will just lead to complete like. censorship of EVERYTHING)

im allowed to not like you. im allowed to not want you to interact with me. im also allowed to be hypocritical if you truly deem me so.

idk if any of this makes sense but like. do what you want because i dont care, but leave me out of it? and also stay out of my inbox with this shit please. if you actually want to educate me on proshipping behavior or even try to justify it then suck up your fears and dm me. youll come to find im actually a pretty open and non judgemental person, and even if we dont agree, id love to hear a new perspective. just dont hide behind an anon in an ask box because i feel like thats not constructive for either party involved (that being you and i)

[trivia-bangtan]

after (jjk) 004

masterlist

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: a lot of self deprecation and some fluff (FINALLY 🤪) and swearing

authors note: again sorry this chapter is a little short but i swear it’s gonna get better 😩.

jungkook and i walked side by side in silence. mainly because i was way too far into my head thinking about every conversation i’ve had today. the one with my mom. the one with namjoon. and jungkook’s sentence at the end of our meeting.

i knew my mom only meant well, and i swear i wasn’t trying to be that weird kid who is always aggressively angry for no reason at all. it was just easier this way. the more i could make my parents hate me a little, the easier it would be to grieve for them. it was sick, and i knew it, but it was just so damn hard to change who i am. i knew the reason i was so against getting better was purely out of fear. fear of what the future could be like if i actually tried to get better. but with every hill i seem to climb over, there’s another one steeper and rougher than the last that i could never seem to getpast. it was tiring. fuck, i was so tired.

tired of always feeling this way. tired of hurting everyone around me. tired of being this miserable asshole with no sense of purpose or direction. there were nights i would literally beg myself to be normal. but the part of my brain that thrives in dysfunction just laughs at the kitten trying to be a lion. how could you battle yourself? because truthfully, the only one stopping me from living is me. and i knew that. and that’s what seems to make it worse.

i knew i could be happier if i allowed myself to be. i could get better through this corny ass group therapy and start thriving in ways i was meant to. but i felt it was undeserving. how could i allow myself to finally be happy after all the pain i’ve caused?

speaking of group therapy, how the fuck was i supposed to bare my heart for all to see when the thoughts inside my head continue to scream “THEY DONT CARE. MOVE ON.” i know they’re wrong. it doesn’t take a namjoon to tell me it is. but some part of me agrees. these people are here to make themselves feel better. they don’t care about others. they just want to vent and let it out and move on. so why waste my breathe exposing myself to a group of people who are probably not even listening half the time anyway?

but maybe yoongi does? or even jungkook.

ah… jungkook. what did he mean by—

“you know, you make faces when you change subjects in your head,” jungkook speaks aloud, making me jump. i must’ve been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that i forgot he was even here. guilt nipped at my heart, as per usual, when this thought washed over me.

“what do you mean?” i ask, looking up at his smiling face. why was this dude always smiling?

“you furrow your eyebrows and then widen your eyes and you also scrunch your nose. you sure do think a lot,” he shrugs.

“yeah well my mind is the only place i can’t be judged in,” i counter. he chuckles and shakes his head.

“you have the group,” he offers, kicking a rock in his path.

“not really. i’m not too comfortable sharing my agony with a bunch of strangers,” i say, dismissing the idea entirely.

“ya know, i’m in the group too. just talk to me if it helps,” he smiles, looking at me. i look back at him and think about it. i mean, it’s the same as picturing your audience naked right? a beacon to withhold peace? but was i really comfortable sharing my thoughts with him?

“i don’t know,” i shrug.

“you do know, but you just don’t want to. and that’s okay too. i just figured it might help. think about it?” he says, his tone hopeful.

“why do you care so much?”

“because i was once you, remember? i remember thinking that this whole group therapy was pointless. i literally had cancer and was gonna die anyway. who cares who hears what i have to say, right?” he says. he was right. i didn’t say that though.

“i’m taking your silence as a yes,” he says, grinning before he continues, “and that means that you and i aren’t so different. i really didn’t care what people thought of me or my feelings and i would’ve much rather have been anywhere else. but i decided, since i’m gonna die anyway, it won’t matter what i say. so why not say it?”

his point of view opened up a new door. if my mind wouldn’t allow me to dream in the realm of living past this stage in my life, then why not say fuck it and say what i have to while i’m still kicking?

“i’ll think about it,” i say. i could see out of my peripheral vision that jungkook was smiling to himself and in return i smiled a bit too.

when we walked up the drive to my house, i offered him to come in.

“nah, i gotta meet someone, but thanks for being gracious enough to offer,” he smiles.

“you’re so weird,” i laugh. he gave me another smile, but this one was different and it made my heart race.

“what?” i ask.

“i like your laugh. it makes my heart do flips,” he says. i roll my eyes and playfully shove him in his chest.

“you’re just so corny that it’s funny,” i say.

“then consider me your personal kevin hart,” he says, grabbing my hand. he holds it in his own, rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand. his skin was soft and i wanted to keep holding it for some reason.

“i thought you had to go?” i tease, pulling my hand back reluctantly.

“i only see you once a week. i need to take in as much of you as i can,” he says, putting his hand in his sweater pocket.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer,” i scoff. jungkook’s eyes widen before he pulls out his phone.

“wait it was a joke!” i yelp, ducking from his camera.

“nope, i need a photo to show off,” he chuckles. he began chasing me around my yard, his camera shutter going off every once in a while. the two of us were like children, running around my yard, acting like fools. but for once, i didn’t care. jungkook catches me by the waist, pulling me into his chest. the both of us were panting, partially from laughing, the other from exertion. jungkook spins me around to face him, a brightening smile on his lips. he was close, i could smell his scent: a bit of floral and wood. it was a different combination but it overtook my senses and i swore i couldn’t get enough. this kid was addicting and scared me how easy it was to catch.

“if i can’t have a picture, can i have your number at least?” jungkook smiles. i nod, snatching his phone and putting in my number.

“you could’ve asked for that first before you made me run around my front lawn,” i chuckle, shaking my head as i saved my contact.

“the chase is the fun part, everybody knows that,” he smiles, taking his phone back. it took me a second to realize he was still holding me, and then it came rushing down like a tsunami wave.

he was too close and it was scary.

i jumped back and cleared my throat, looking around to see if anybody was near.

“i should probably head in,” i say, eyeing my front door, avoiding eye contact.

jungkook approaches me, grabbing my hand tentatively, as if he was scared too.

“hey, i’m not gonna hurt you. you know that right?” he said.

it freaked me out how easy he could read me. but it also provided a sense of relief knowing that i didn’t have to lie to him all the time like with everyone else.

“i don’t know that. but thank you,” i say, smiling softly before patting his hand and walking off.

“hey yn!” he shouts once i reach my door. i whirl around, watching as he slowly walks backwards, a bright smile on his face.

“yeah?”

“you’re gonna fall in love with me,” he yelled. i chuckled at him.

“i thought you told me not to,” i smirk, teasing him back.

“since when did you listen to what people tell you to do?” he smiles. i rolled my eyes at this and shook my head.

“bye jungkook.”

he smiles.

“bye sunshine.”

[hela-avenger]

it’s not you, it’s me- part 3

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1006

Summary: Natasha won’t quit trying to set you up so you decide to play fire with fire. Hence making a deal with an insufferable prince who interestingly enough is willing to fake being in love with you for the rest of the night. Of course when dealing with the God of Lies things are never as they seem. Fake-Dating AU. p&w AU.

A/N: Once again late but once again better late than never. This one’s a little on the short side but quality over quantity!

P.S. I’m tagging the p&w people so if you’ll like to be taken off pls do let me know!

Tags are open! 

it’s not you, it’s me masterlist & poison & wine masterlist

You thought you had a few minutes before Natasha found you again but you were immediately proven wrong. Natasha is already waiting for you when you step back inside from the balcony and she wasn’t alone.

“There you are!” she exclaims a little too eagerly. “Ryan from Accounting has been waiting for you for a dance.”

You force a smile on your face as you look at the man next to her. He’s handsome and probably kind but you had no desire to get to know him. Luckily for you, you weren’t alone either. 

“That’s very sweet, but my dancing card is already full.”

You gently squeeze Loki’s arm hoping he’ll take the hint and he does. In fact, it seems he’s very well ahead of you.

“Yes, I’m afraid I will be occupying the lady’s time for the rest of the night,” Loki states blatantly staring at Natasha to further emphasize his light threat. “We have much to discuss.”

With that said, Loki whisks you away and you can’t refrain from giggling as he stops in the middle of the dance floor. 

“Do you know how to dance?” he asks.

“I do,” you answer. “Do you?”

Loki huffs and places a hand on your waist while the other one is offered to you. You take it and he begins to lead.

“I’m a royal prince,” he tells you. “Of course I know how to dance.” 

“Right, silly of me to forget.” 

Loki hums in agreement and nods behind you.

“He seemed nice.”

He turns you allowing you the chance to catch sight of Ryan lingering by Natasha’s side. It seemed Natasha was playing the long game and waiting you out.

“He probably is. He’s probably kind and funny and smart. She wouldn’t just throw anyone at me.”

“Then why are you refusing the love match?” 

You hesitate to respond considering for a second to lie but Loki had asked one thing of you and you couldn’t go back on your word already.

“I will outlive him,” you answer. “I will outlive them all actually. The people I consider my friends, the ones I have foolishly grown attached to… I will outlive them and that loss is going to hurt.”

“The folly of man,” Loki whispers. “But something you should be accustomed to since spending your half-immortal life here.” 

You swallow then trying to ignore the piercing pain that is brought up at the mere memory.

“I have been protecting my heart ever since I lost my mother. I loved her so much and I think about her every passing day on this Earth and it still hurts as much as the day her hand became limp in mine.”

Loki has stopped dancing and you do too.

“I cannot go through that again,” you tell him. “I refuse to.” 

Loki is staring you down once more. Dark eyes pierced into yours as if he was trying to decipher you but many have tried and failed. Though this night was one surprise after another as he seems to find something. 

“You and I are more alike than I thought…” 

Your interest is piqued but Loki realizes his mistake and is quick to change the subject. He starts to lead you again and you’re forced to follow him.

“The Widow doesn’t seem too pleased with me. Well... more so than usual.”

You let out a sigh knowing better than to ask that burning question he’s implanted in your mind. You follow his lead in the conversation too. The endgame being more of importance than your curiosity. 

“She probably thinks you’re corrupting me.”

Loki grins, “If only she knew you already are.”

“Hey!” you snap at him. 

“Are you offended because I’m wrong or because I’m right?”

You hesitate to respond and look away from his piercing gaze. 

“I hate lying to them,” you confess to him. 

“Then why not tell the truth?”

“Because I don’t know the truth myself,” you answer. “I know my mother fell in love with a traveling Asgardian but I have no idea who it was and why he never came back for us... for me. I wonder if my father even knows I exist or if he does, if he hates me for even existing.”

Loki remains silent avoiding your stare. He seems tense under your hand. 

“If that’s the kind of man he is then perhaps you’re better off.” 

He still won’t look at you and you wonder why . It was in the lack of a response that you found an answer.

“Was that how it was for you?”

“What?” Loki exclaims glaring down at you.

“Thor mentioned you were adopted,” you explain. “And it seemed like you were speaking from experience so I... I just assumed.”

Loki is clearly upset and you wonder how you can manage to do this twice in one slow dance.

“I overstepped, didn’t I?”

“Immensely.”

You both look away from each other. His in annoyance while yours was due to guilt. The silence grows and stretches between you and you start to feel uneasy. 

Surprisingly, Loki breaks the silence in a way you never expected.

“I was traded from one monster to another.”

Nothing follows that statement. Loki leaves his words to linger in the air.

Heavy and hard.

You don’t know how to respond and he doesn’t expect you to. 

Once again, the conversation is in an intense emotional standstill. It was your turn to change the subject but you didn’t know how.

The many questions that were running through your mind would overstep the invisible boundaries Loki kept setting up.

You look up at him hoping to fill the silence with anything but you’re caught off guard when you find him already staring at you. 

“I’m sorry about this...”

You scowl wondering what he could possibly be apologizing for but that expression is wiped off your face when the hand on your waist loops around your back and he pulls you into his chest and his lips... well his lips are suddenly on yours.

it’s not you, it’s me: @mywellspingoflife @toe-wind-ek-jou @mejusttryintogetby @marvelgirlonamarvelworld​ @nickkie1129​ @theinfinitenerd​ @lucywrites02​ @nerdyshaddowhunter​ @10velyhaos​ @chantelle-m-93​ 

poison & wine: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles @jessiejunebug @nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean @assassinoftheworld @readerbandit @doyoufeelikeayounggod @strangemcuvlogs @ha-tep @i-dont-know-eiither @gene-king @day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @devilbat @victor-criss-bish @skinny-macncheese @musicconversedance @baby-bunnyxn @marvelloonie @sulbaeksul @queenmuahaha @accio-boys @eternalqueensworld @umlvk @roger-the-reindeer @punkrockhufflefluff​ @your-local-abyss @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rogerrhqpsody @imsad420 @pandacookieowo @justnerdystuffs @hanoi15 @oneprolificqueen @nikki-who-likes-coffee @fandomrelative @nikki419ninja @onedollarduck @help-i-need-a-social-life @ephemeraljade @catsladen @amwolowicz @captainmarvelnerd @thegirlbeyondtheuniverse @ddaeing @leftperfectionmoon

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow-blog @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-nightshade @aoirohi @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @just-a-donut-who-reads @day-dreaming-fox @heykathchuu @is-it-madness @writingletterstothefire​ @nonsensicalobsessions​

All Works: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff​ @hellocookiecutter​ @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak​ @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie​ @moonlightprime @badhollandfluff @what-a-flammable-heart @fandoms-allovertheplace @polireader​ @hufflautia

[stars-in-my-damn-eyes]

Thanks for the tag, @storm-and-starlight !!

**

How many works do you have on AO3?

37, though three are on anon. 38, if you count the anon fic i co-wrote that was posted to my friend's account.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

229917 words!

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

7! They are, in no particular order, the Star Wars: Thrawn Ascendancy trilogy, BBC Merlin, The Dragon Prince, Lucifer Netflix, the Witcher Netflix, the Witcher games, and the Magnus Archives.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

1) Death to the Details

2) Slightly Akin to Wonder

3) The Lark's Requiem

4) Perhaps Not in Entirety

5) With Reminiscent Undertones

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Admittedly I am very much behind on this - however, I respond because I appreciate commenters.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

A Rotten Kind of Cold (Geralt dies). I'm not a big angst writer - this was 100% for the shock value for the witcher flash fic challenge, because in the first week, multiple people had shocked ME with mcd fics.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I have written one (1) crossover, the esteemed Witcher/Star Wars Original Trilogy fusion fic Almost Seemed to Shine Again, which is in dire need of an update. I suppose that, by default, it is also the craziest.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! :D

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do not write smut. I dislike sexual content so I neither consume nor create it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Somebody plagiarised segments of Empyrean, my half-elf Callum TDP fic, and while I brushed it off at the time it did end up being a big reason that I haven't updated Empyrean since I was 16.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would die on the spot (in a positive manner) if someone did translate a fic of mine!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

N/A, I'm afraid (ha! pun!). It's platonic relationships all the way, for me - I'm not interesed in the romance genre at all.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Empty Eyes of the Damned. It's a concept very dear to my heart but I am no longer as interested in the witcher as I once was.

What are your writing strengths?

Plot! Dialogue! Also fight scenes, for some reason.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Interesting prose, unique character voices, and the proper use of metaphor. English was my worst subject in school - besides, when I write, I mostly just transcribe what I'm visualising in my mind so it ends up depressingly literal and homogenous.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I quite enjoy seeing it! Whether it be untranslated sentences, or stylised text to indicate that something is being spoken in a language other than English (or a conlang!), I really like reading characters speaking foreign dialogue, too. One thing I don't love is when characters speak a gimmicky, caricature-like version of a foreign language (such as a German character saying "ja" instead of "yes" when speaking to a non-speaker of their language. It feels very forced and you can see the hand of the author in the dialogue). But yeah! Generally speaking, I like it!

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

HMMMMM. Most definitely either Seven for a Secret, I think, or the Idiot Hymn (it rhymes :D), OR my beloved, How to Explain Plato’s Allegory of the Cave to an Eel with Identity Issues (and Other Fun Exploits at Aretuza). I know this is technically 3 but shut up i was a B in AS Level maths i dont actually know how to count.

**

tagging: @brothebro @jask-jaskier-jaskiest @ruffboijuliaburnsides @violaceum-vitellina-viridis @heronfem @theaceace @concertconfetti and anyone else who wishes to do this!

[jupiter-reimagined]

okay. okay okay okay. literally noone cares or asked but i feel like i should still document this so *i* dont forget about this in 5 years. so. uh. vex. vexy boy. him. uhm. so first off i hate his name now, it was supposed to be a placeholder until i came up with something better and like. dont worry about what inspired it. okay anyways.

so. uhhh the universe is very sci-fi driven. like interplanetary exploration and alien species sorta things. i really dont like timeframes or setting concrete years, but this could be like. retro futurism inspired shit. but probably taking place a few hundred years in the future at *least*, but like 10k years *max* cuz i am NOT dealing with figuring out the possible evolution of the human species. or any other species. this timeframe is purely there for fun possible tech.

i also made up a plant for this. its a non-toxic berry bush called pebbleberry. despite tasting like mud, theyre surprisingly nutritious, and can grow up to the size of a plum. and they get their name from the fruit itself having a dull gray colour, like a pebble. the muddy taste also adds to the naming factor.

okay so. the main crew. theres vex (new name pending), sarah and paul. they also have additional techies on-board, but these 3 are the ones leading the research expedition to a recently discovered planet, which seems viable to sustain life, which i imagine is roughly the size of the moon. also like. pardon scientific inaccuracies I Dont Care i just wanna play with the little people living in my head and not look too deeply into. anything. yeah.

so vex is the leading scientist, hes the one in charge of all the people. hes also the oldest member of the team, at around 60. grumpy old bastard. he doesnt have a set appearance. none of them do. but if i had to think about him, i feel like he'd be on the shorter side and have a beer-belly. i dont think he has a partner or children of his own because he takes his job seriously, as it was basically his lifes mission to do this and is *very* excited about it all, and hes VERY qualified for the job and extremely passionate about it all. i see him having written and published at least 3 research papers or books about various subjects, and the research mission to the new planet will be the focus on his 4th study. and hes fully human. well. as purebred as they can get in that time.

sarah, i believe, was supposed to be like the zoologist. she was originally like 23. but thats boring. so shes in her 50s now. tall but on the buffer side. has to be since she works part-time as a nurse. librarian glasses all the way. signed up for the mission in hopes of discovering a new species that her homeplanet previously was unaware of. boy will she be in for the ride of her life. her goals are to spread information about hybrids and different species to the masses, due to coming from a long lineage of hybrids herself. species undecided as of now, but im tempted to make her centaur-adjacent. shes very doe with vex's bullshit, and i actually see them being long-time work-buddies, her having helped him with his science papers, and i very much so see her being the one whos down to write and research the fauna of the new planet. co-author maybe. i do believe back on their home-planet she mainly does work as a nurse than a scientist. aint need to search for new problems when there are enough as is back there. still, couldnt resist the possibilities. plus the additional chance of finding and testing new herbal medicines was too great to pass up.

paul's a biologist. late 20s early 30s. in my mind i see him as bald. i dont know why, i just do. tall and chub all the way!!! i feel like it'd be funny if i made him a carnivore. or... for plot reasons, i could make him feline-adjacent. but carnivorous-merman speaks to my soul. maybe hes like. 1/4th merman on his grandfathers side has just like 3 traits and thats it. i do want to give him a fish tail and a few scales, as a treat. pike? yeah. yeah!!!! i can and will work with pike... i think hes the sorta guy who lied on his resume but got the job anyways cuz noone else applied, and they figured if all else fails, an aquatic hybrid would be useful in exploration of any bodies of water. i think he lowkey regrets sighing up for the mission, since it lasts around like. i wanna say at least 6 months to 5 years time-period wise. and hes got a partner and a kid back home. isnt really putting in his all, but at the end of the day knows its at least gonna put food on the table and he gets to tell stories of his adventures when hes finally back.

as i said, theres also the tech crew and additional people on the team, but its probably like 15 people max. but theyre not important anymore, because let me introduce you to a new species and a new little guy as well, whos a part of the main crew.

it doesnt have a name, nor do i think it needs one. but its a member of a native species of feline-esque shapeshifters. i want to make them tiger-adjacent because thats what they were at first as a placeholder. but yk. its roughly 8 or 9 in human years and based on appearance alone, looks like a solid 50/50 mix of tiger and human. but this is all subject to change. the species do have clothes. they have fingers and thumbs (for the most part) and they use them to their advantage. im messing with the idea of their cities built in trees as well, so clothing is also functional. the child does have a family, but i am still figuring it out. also. lets just say the phrase "curiosity killed the can but satisfaction brought it back" exists for a reason. its just a kid. its very curious about the world.

also like. note that i am messing with a possible magic system getting involved. and for the sake of it, the native species do not speak english. they dont speak verbally at all. like wild cats with their colonies.

just. imagine, for a moment. youre vex. its been a few weeks since everythings been set up and running. your HQ is in a clearing in what seems to be a jungle. everything to contact your home-planet has been set up, and the campsite is fully ready. and then you look up at the walls around the mini-compound. and. theres a kid there. staring at you. the species is familiar, human-tiger hybrids are common back home. but. *here*? i feel like vex isnt fond of children. but does he find them distasteful enough to run experiments on them to hunt down one, simply because it was the first native species that you see? because.. what if you never see it again? what if doing it *now* is your only chance? surely sarah will forgive this. right? or.. do you follow it down to its home. seek to develop allyship there... at the risk of being attacked, or waging a war on your home. i feel like the right option to do is to contact the homeplanet HQ and ask for advice. but instead. something tells me he ignores it all and just. takes a step forward. his mind buzzing. even he doesnt know what he did, until he snaps out of it. hours later.

just remembered an idea i had earlier. so like dominic was originally named butch/butcher but i realized i dont like it at all, and i was iffy about dominic from the get-go and like yesterday or smth the name buster came in mind for him. im really not sure tho. its better than butch i *think* but like. decisions decisions :pensive:

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

[nightswithkookmin]

Does Run ep 119 fall into the period of Jikook's romantic separation/distancing you talked about? By hairstyles I think this is the time you marked as being 'not a couple'? Did I get the timelines right? Please dont get mad, but they seemed especially cozy+close this ep, and not just skinship (I know this is a subjective judgement and dif points of view are allowed). Just curious if you still hold to your theory? We see only tiny snapshots of time. Do you ever retrospectively change your mind?

Me right now. lol

Running away before I give in to the temptation to rumble on for pages. Lol.

Ahhh shit! Too late. lol.

First of all, it's not so much that questions like these irk me...

It's just I've never had to worry about being 'right' or 'wrong' in forming an opinion about anything or on any topic in my life.

I think the night is more beautiful than the day. I think both Trump and Biden are trash- but better Biden than Trump. I think formal education is a damn waste of time and money. I think a lot of things. But I've never had to worry about that I could be right or wrong about them.

I never assume, when I read people's opinions too, that they are right or wrong. I either tend to agree with it or disagree with it or get informed by it if I had zero opinion prior. I find it bizarre when people want to be right and stuff- especially in a community that is nothing but a swirling vortex of thoughts and opinions. Lmho.

You either defend your stand and give evidence to support it but even then we are just all making assumptions.

Also questions like these tend to put me in a position where I feel like if I should respond then I am not only 'defending' my opinions but challenging other's opinions with my opinions and treating my opinions as if they were the facts. But they are not. It's just one opinion against another.

Know what I mean?

I used to be comfortable doing that because I thought it was all friendly debates and discourse until someone drew my attention to it and pointed out to me that when I do that I come across as 'all knowy,' 'presenting my opinions as facts' and 'challenging other's opinions with my opinion'- which y'all are well aware is the case that has launched a thousand hate comments, privacy invasion, doxing, lies and operation boycott Goldy on ship street.

I don't think it's worth it.

Then there is the substantive issue: how these questions are framed. How should I put this...

I never said anywhere that Jikook were broken up during the On era because they were not acting 'cozy'. Who's theory is that? Who said that? I've never peddled the 'Jikook is real because of skinship or their interactions' theory. If anything, I try to distinguish between Jikook's couple moments and their skinship or mere interactions because neither of those two make Jikook real... to me.

If Jikook showing skinship and merely interacting with eachother to you is a determining factor as to whether they are real- it's not, to me. I've made this much clear over the course of my blogs. If it's your metric then it differs from mine and I can't 'challenge' it. Lol.

I have said, Jikook can interact zero in a content and I still could be able to tell if they are a couple.

Similarly, two people can grind on eachother and stick their tongues down eachother's throats and I still will be able to tell they are not a couple within the same group if they are not.

Am I wrong sometimes? Absolutely. Hell, I said JK was going to post for Jimin's birthday. He didn't. I got that wrong.

I do retrospectively change my mind on a lot of things. If say, in the future, Jimin announced he has a kid and is married to a het woman I would backpedal on my theory that Jikook is real. I don't think it's that deep.

If at any one point, I have reason to believe Jikook aren't together any more as a couple within BTS, or that one of them is straight, I would change my opinion about them being in a gay relationship with eachother.

Similarly, if I have reason to believe Jikook have broken up or distanced themselves from eachother at one point, I would say so and not run around the internet yelling Jikook gay, Jikook married.

There are moments, when I thought Jikook were together but they weren't and so I had to change my mind in retrospect too.

It seems to me, that to y'all, as long as I'm saying Jikook are together then I'm right and it's Amen preach but if I say I think they are or were not together at a point in their relationship then suddenly it's, she is a Trump supporter spreading lies about Jikook and dancing in the rain with convicted serial killers while trying to pass off her published work as Jikook fanfiction. It's all very interesting how some people's minds work...

For the record, I said Jikook were broken up within that period because they were not claiming eachother, reassuring eachother, exercising rights of claim and authority, speaking eachothers love language and all the other metrics I have time and again pointed out several times across my posts that they are the qualities that to me make Jikook a couple.

So do you see why I feel some kind of way when people come at me with the, 'they stared at eachother' 'they smiled at eachther' they touched eachother' argument? Y'all must have me confused a certain shipper on the block. Lol.

You tell me they look cozy and intimate, but then I go and check and they are still not claiming eachother or exhibiting any of the qualities that makes them a couple. Lol.

If I say Jikook is in a relationship, it's usually because I have reasons to believe they are in a relationship. If I say Jikook are not together, it's also because I have reasons to believe they are not together. It's really not hard maths.

I forego a lot of sleep to ensure I share my thought process on a lot of my theories and opinions. I have shared across several posts why I believe Jikook is real. I have shared a few of the metrics I use to decide on that opinion and I have shared my thought process on why I believe in certain moments they aren't together.

It's exhausting when I have to repeat that process each time because then it's not about you asking for my opinion on the topic anymore because I've already stated that, it's about you asking me to change my opinion on a topic based on your assessment and your metric and it just doesn't work that way.

Your assertion that Run 119 was filmed in the same era as On is valid I guess... but I have to disagree. I can't tell you exactly when that episode was filmed but if I had to share my two cents on it, I'd have to place it towards the middle of April this year or somewhere around that period. In my opinion.

I say that because Jimin debuted his jet black hair around 14th April when he appeared in a Vlive with RM. Again I do not know exactly when he got his hair changed but as of March 26th, he had blondish hair.

In his March 30th Vlive- the one where JK interrupted Jin's call, he had a cap on so chilee I'm not gonna argue on whether he had dyed his hair at that point or not.

Then there is Suga, who has blonde hair in this Run 119 episode. He had blonde hair from his birthday in early March and tweeted a bunch of photos of himself in blonde hair from March through to April 28th.

Yet in the JinMinGi Vlive on April 27th when Jimin still had jet black hair, Suga seemed to have a jet black hair too. Which means he could have had blonde hair around the time Jimin went black in early April and dyed it black in late April- but that's theory and that's just my assumption. We can know for sure if and when knew content is released which was filmed around that period.

Thus, I doubt if it was filmed during On era like episode 116 and 117- where you could see clearly, Jikook were having issues.

Just because a peice of content is released in succession don't mean they were filmed around the same period...

So yes I agree with you, we only see snapshots of their time and most importantly we see them in DISORDER. BigHit doesn't release content in chronological order as per when they film them- something I keep reiterating throughout my blogs.

And just as a tip for when you want to reconstruct the timeline for accuracy based on their hairstyles, I think you should look to their Live contents and not their prerecorded content. Their VLives and Youtube lives- actual lives not the prerecorded ones passed off as live streams lol, or even their live reactions to when they win awards or do interviews etc.

I think those are a somewhat accurate reflection of the timeline and helps fit contents in their right time period. But even that- it's still 60/40. But that's me. Feel free to use your own metric to access the timeline.

And the part about them seeming cozy within- On Era, I assume? Because that's when I speculated they had a break up?

I wasn't going to address it because it requires me to provide a comprehensive reconstruction of the timeline but I can't do that until a few more years from now when BigHit has released all or most of the content they have on that period.

I'm just gonna have to repeat myself, for the n>th time though and be intentionally vague about it lol - I had decided not to talk about that period again but I have to just because you make it sound like I would go full on frying pan wielding JK on your ass, step for step, for pointing out that Jikook seemed cozy and intimate within that speculated breakup period. Chilee, I'm not a villain. Lol.

I will not whoop your ass for saying that- but you'd have to answer a seven page query if you are an avid reader of my blogs, so clear your schedule. It's gonna be a long day. Lol.

Query: How do you expect Jikook to look like and behave if and when they are not together together?

I keep saying, at the bare minimum, Jikook are friends not enemies. You don't expect them to act like they never knew eachother during such times. But it takes a while for them to settle into that space when they both feel comfortable with being friends and during such period is when you notice them putting up emotional boundaries and distance between them.

Maybe its just because I saw Jikook as friends and got used to them as friends before lovers and so spotting when they are acting as friends comes easy to me? I don't know.

I think it's similar to how people who are used to seeing Jikook as friends can't seem to see past their friendship to seeing them as a couple.

Then there are those who've only known Jikook to be a couple or saw them as a couple first upon entering the fandom and so can't seem to see them as friends or even think of them as friends. It can be a trip for such people. Which one are you?

If you see Jikook as lovers all the time, really I don't. And I don't need the tensions and the silences to sense something is off. JK unable to check RM or anyone within the group when they are crossing boundaries with Jimin is enough tell.

Same way I don't need to the skinship and 'cosy' to tell if they are together. Jk putting up emotional distance with certain members within the group- all but Jimin, is enough evidence for me.

We don't have to all see Jikook through the same lens to enjoy them. And we don't have to agree on everything too.

We are different people, with different backgrounds and experiences. We can't think the same or perceive on things the same.

I keep saying, to me, there is a quality to Jikook that makes them more than friends. If I see those qualities in them, I believe they are a couple. If not, they are not. Those are the qualities I see only between Jikook and what set them apart from the other ships in BTS.

I see their friendship and I also see their other stuff.

And I notice, during certain periods that they lose that quality that makes them couples- for them to be a couple they need to be speaking eachothers love language, exercising certain rights and privileges over each other, claiming eachother, reassuring eachother yadda yadda yadda and a whole others that don't include them merely talking to eachother or engaging in skinship.

When I talk about Jikook On Era break up period, I'm talking about the period from the 21st to 28th February this year- or the period right before it.

Thats the period I noticed a drastic change in Jikook's interactions and even their personalities. It gave me the feeling that jikook had been through something heavy prior to that date. That period seemed more like the aftermath of a break up rather than the beginning of it as there seemed to be a drastic flip in their dynamics compared to any era before that. Especially late December or around the period when they filmed Carpool Karaoke.

They weren't doing any of the things I've mentioned above that to me make them a couple- they were just interacting and pretty much being civil- except for JK. He seemed more angry, less tolerant and very assertive against Jimin and the group.

He was being super self assertive and was asserting himself even against Jimin- something he has been doing a lot this year which I keep talking about.

Jimin didn't seem different to me at all to me in that period until April.

Why do I feel you are forcing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about? Lol.

I mark that period as significant not only because of the changes that took place in Jikook's dynamics but because it marks the genesis of the JK we are experiencing today.

Their interactions within that period were reflective of a consistent pattern of behavior they've exhibited around periods when they are not together- JK putting up boundaries, not claiming JM, JM trying to reconnect etc.

For instance, at Music Bank on the 28th of February, Jimin did that thing with Jin when he noticed JK interacting with Tae but JK didn't mind him or claim.

Contrast that with their moment on the 1st March, at Inkigayo, where JK literally teleported his ass to stand behind JM when he noticed JM had started his shenanigans on the stage.

Jikook started claiming eachother and acting as a couple again from then- they started reassuring eachother and doing all these things that to me mark them as a couple. Again, this is only an assumption, I don't have the comprehensive breakdown of the period- yet because there are new contents being released on a daily.

On 6th March, during Music Bank when Hobi hugged Jimin during their interview JK reacted strongly to that too in my opinion.

On 30th March, JK interrupted Jin's call to flirt and ask JM on a date- you could see them acting as a couple from that moment at Inkigayo on 1st March throughout to 30th March and their interactions were consistent.

Their interactions in the period before that was pretty much inconsistent and filled with a lot of Jump cuts- which I'm hoping future contents will help fill the gaps for me so I can build a comprehensive breakdown of that era- at least for my self. Iol.

It's just the way Jikook usually behave after these period. They go through a reconnection phase, where they constantly try reassure eachother and then eventually end up in a honey moon phase of a sort where you'd see them flirting up and down the hills, acting super touchy, hitting the red marks- making us and the others feel weird and super uncomfortable watching them.

It's also important to note that around the period of them reconnecting, JK had started distancing himself from Tae. He puts up emotional boundaries with the others and closes himself off to them when he opens himself up to Jimin.

I mean if I'm 'wrong,' and I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying if I'm wrong because of your two seconds clip of them acting 'cozy,' then I gotta ask what happened to JK in this period? Why was he putting up boundaries between him and Jimin in that period, and what set him on this self assertive path he's been on throughout this year- think about that while I hold on to my he went through a nasty breakup and had an emotional trauma that pushed him on a path to reevaluate and set his priorities straight theory. Lol

I think some of the content they have released so far within that period were filmed either closer to or far from when that break up happened- Run 116 and 117 would be the closest to that period so far- I just don't know if it was before 21st February or after it.

Run 100 and 101 would also have been filmed relatively closer to that period or immediately after it because Jimin was behaving in those Runs the same way he was behaving during the On Comeback Special VLive which was released on 21st of February- I feel the breakup would happened before this date.

In both those Runs and the On comeback special, Jimin seemed beat, humbled and subdued. He was trying to establish eye contact with JK during the comeback VLive, egging him on to talk about his looks, and putting boundaries between him and the other members. He seemed to be on his best behavior.

For instance, in the Comback he seemed like he was walking on eggshells around Kookie and didn't want to create the impression he was going out of his way to flirt with the others or portray himself as available and so when Suga touched his waist or back, he asked him to stop.

Similary, in Runs 100/101 behind scenes or something, when they were eating and he noticed Tae had food residue on his lips, he tried to help him clean it but panicked and stopped the moment he sensedJK lifting his head up- it seemed he didn't want to piss JK off in those two instances. JK for the most part just seemed serious and less tolerant of JM's bs within that period.

Juxtapose JM's behavior in these two instances with the events at Music Bank and Inkigayo where he was hugging Jin and acting extra around Kook- which to me seemed like he was looking for reassurance by trying to get JK to claim him but of course JK didn't do that.

Jimin likes being reassured by JK when he is feeling 'insecure.' And often, JK reassures him when he notices JM going through that. Jimin does the same for JK.

They are intune with eachother's emotional needs and they consciously go out of their way to meet them.

Take the recent MAMA speech moment when JM was giving a speech and he seemed like he need support- emotional support and back up. Jk turn fully and instantly towards him to let him know he was there for him. We've seen Jikook do this a countless times. I value these moments over them showing skinship or screaming eachother's names.

In the recent BE press conference red carpet moment when JM tried it with RM- did you notice JK's reaction? They both seemed like they were trying to piss eachother other off or make each eachother jealous during that red carpet moment.

JM with RM and JK with Jin. JK grabbed Jin's neck when he noticed JM intentionally acting all up close and friendly with his buddy buddy RM and the frown on his face. He didn't seem too amused with JM doing that...

- it's weird, I know, but it's also their way of reassuring eachother and expressing interest in eachother. Don't judge. It's Jikook- just look away, keep it pushing. Nothing to see here. Lol.

Had it not been for the live events around that On period, I probably wouldn't have noticed these things because the content from BigHit around the period were only showing glimpses of their interactions which again seemed like the aftermath of their breakup and not the start of it.

I think their ability to get to that space where they are each comfortable with relating freely and 'cozy' around eachother as friends depends on how soon they interact on cameras after they've gone through such periods.

If they film immediately soon after, or during, often the tension between them is much more evident like in run 116 and 117.

If they film much later from it, then you wouldn't even notice a damn thing at all. In my opinion. Especially, if you don't know the difference between Jikook as friends and Jikook as lovers.

You can never tell though if you focus solely on Jimin's behavior during such periods- because Jimin is just that guy. He doesn't bring the drama to work. He will smile sunshine through the pain and act like nothing happened. For JK it's different, in my opinion.

Jimin has a very high emotional intelligence quotient and seems to process emotions better and faster. JK is not like that. It is why I feel, he tends to put up physical and emotional barriers with Jimin and with the others sometimes when he is going through it.

They all process emotions at different paces. In my opinion.

I'm starting to wonder if y'all think Jikook is one sided at this point. Lol. Jikook is not one sided. Jimin is not the only one in their relationship. You can't focus on him alone to decide if your ship is sailing or in a good place- because guess what? Jimin can put up a show of it.

It's just as how Tuktukkers tend to focus on Tae rather than JK in determining whether they still have a ship or not. If they paid attention to JK for one minute, they would know their ship got lost at sea at debut.

I keep saying JM's 'the boy in love with Jungkook' persona is a facade. He loves JK through this facade but you have to look past it. I mean this is the guy who told Jin JK doesn't act a certain way around him, but backpedaled and said he was just 'saying it for content' when Jin called him out on it. Same guy Jk says, he intentionally acts cutes when he notices the cameras on him.

You gotta wonder what else he does just for content and for the cameras. Isn't this why people claim Jikook is fanservice?

You have to pay attention to JK too you know? They have different personalities, different ways of handling issues, different ways of loving and different ways of solving problems.

Jimin over expresses himself and tries to establish contact when he is at the recieving end of a freeze out. He did the same thing on stage with JK during Manila when he tried to have a conversation with Kook- to squash whatever issues they had been having but JK needed his space physically and emotionally.

Jimin was sat next to Suga chatting with him, asking him questions, laughing with him but the moment Suga touched him he snapped. He did the same thing in Dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK teased him with Suga. He snapped almost instantly and didn't seem happy with it- he doesn't want to be shipped with Suga and yet he is the one constantly going 'I miss Suga hyung' 'Suga and I are the parents and JK is the son"

In run 116, you could see him trying to interact with Kook even when Kook was clearly putting up boundaries with him. Had Kook not been closed off to him in that moment, we probably would never have noticed anything was off with them honestly.

And that hug JM gave Kook in the end, did you see him looking sideways as if he was doing something wrong? Compare that moment with the Siriux FM interview where he had his hands around Kook. He didn't seem- what's the word, scared.

And by the way, that moment was also filmed on the 21st of February in the US, the same day of their Rockefeller interview and the same day the On Comeback Special VLive was released- so do the maths? Was that the start of a break up or the aftermath of it?

Jimin was leaning forward in that period true, but was JK receiving and reciprocating his actions and matching them throughout that period? No. Or may be its debatable- you tell me. Lol.

Jikook behave in a certain way and give off a certain vibe when they are good and sailing- but not all such moments is because they are a couple. In my opinion.

When they get to that good space where they can be comfortable around each other, they sail as friends too.

It's just like, when they are not good and they give off bad vibes. But not all the bad vibes they give off is because they are not good. Know what I mean?

It's all up to how you perceive them and how much you understand of their dynamics I guess.

It is my understanding that, JK opens up to certain other members within the group while simultaneously putting up boundaries with Jimin when he is having serious problems with Jimin. From my observation of their interactions.

So I ask, within the period of 21st February to 28th, was he leaning towards this certain member he was suddenly BFFs with around the time of their break up or was he leaning away from him? He literally teleported away from him to be next to Jimin when they were getting back together and Tae didn't seem amused by that either.

It's Jikook, I get it. I think you need to pay attention to the way they interact with the other members within the group too? Because that's equally telling. Sigh.

It is my understanding that, Jimin is quick to anger yet quick to forgive and he sometimes glosses over things, puts a lot of energy and efforts into embellishing his relationship with Kook and presenting them as the perfect duo and the perfect relationship- which is something that I think psychologically induces the Kumbaya in a lot of Jikook shippers and influences them into thinking their relationship is perfect and kumbaya. But that's another topic for another day.

JK makes Jikook more real. To me.

I hear often, people talk about how Jimin is less touchy than JK and has personal boundaries within the group and how over the years, he has toned down on his touchiness with the other members because JK puts up a lot of boundaries for him around the members with the frying pans and what not, and would fume whenever Jimin or anyone crosses those boundaries...

But have y'all ever wondered the kind of boundaries Jimin put up for JK within the group and expects JK to uphold within the group when they are together? Hint: It's not JK's touchiness or lack of boundaries. Y'all be connecting the wrong dots. Lol.

Jk puts up physical boundaries for Jimin because that is important to him. Jimin put up emotional boundaries for JK because that is important to him. They overlap sometimes but those times are insignificant to me.

Jk's certain bonds suffer because of Jimin. And he stops respecting those boundaries when he and Jimin are no longer together and the moment they are back together, he puts those boundaries up again with those bonds- this is Morse code, if you catch on message me with it. Wink.

JM throwing his arms around Kook during a serious interview is not him claiming JK or reassuring him. JK yelling Jimin to the power Z is not him exercising right of authority over Jimin- lovers do that. Know who else does that? FRIENDS. Lol.

It's nothing Hobi doesn't do with JM or the other ships don't do.

Listen, I saw all the good bits and things that you saw in that period too and still I formed my opinion on that era the way that I did and have. And the new content from that era, Run 116 and 117 all follow the same pattern of behavior I noticed around that period and have talked about. So no, my view on that era hasn't changed.

Unless, your objective is to have me change my mind based on the 'wrong' timeline dots you've connected, then we would just have to agree to disagree. Lol.

If you believe Jikook were together during that period, I agree to disagree on it. Feel free to disagree with my opinion too.

Always ship Jikook in the way that makes sense to you. And support them while you are at it. Jikook is real. Bless you.

Signed,

GOLDY

[dateamonster]

sorry if this is a lil too deep for the monster blog, but you are the only monster content blog i know- do you know/have any observations on how to avoid writing monsters parallel to race? obviously i dont mean like "oops i accidentally wrote a racist stereotype!", i mean how do you write a story that is about monster oppression without pointing towards humanity as a reference point? i like anything that analysizes the potential human-monster relationship without being just depressing

first i wanna say i absolutely think these are things we should be talking about and this being a mostly lighthearted blog doesnt mean i think otherwise, because i love discussing tropes and i think part of wanting to appreciate/make good monster content is talking about the things that dont work as well as the things that do.

second, im a white person and i think its important to ackowledge that any analysis of this subject coming from me is unavoidably gonna be affected by my limited perspective.

i think the best thing we can do for this sort of trope is look at where its done well and where its done not so well. as always, intent is a big factor, as is authorship/the position the authors writing from. the shape of water is a great example of a monster character being written as a parallel to real life oppression but with tact. guillermo del toro has been very open that tsow is intended as an inverse of hollywoods history of monster movies in which the monster was a metaphor for the Other, a force to be feared and hated. guillermo del toro is also a mexican man; his work comes from a place of understanding that experience of being Other in america and from a more intimate understanding of the implicit racism of a lot of the classic monster movies he was inspired by.

some trope breakdown below the cut

some of the biggest (and most spot-on) grievances ive seen with metaphors and messages of oppression particularly in fantasy content are

treating a fantasy species as an overt, overly direct parallel to a specific real life racial group (think detroit become human, bright, etc)

having a monstrous or overall powerful species be feared for their destructive capability, and treating that fear as equal to systemic oppression (think the predator vs prey dynamics in media like zootopia)

having a monster character represent a specific minority group while excluding actual human characters from that group from the rest of the narrative

some possible ways to avoid/address these problems

work within your experience, drawing from your own feelings about being othered rather than appropriating from a movement you dont have a personal connection to (assuming that you dont. again, im writing from my own experiences/practices here) the fear of being treated as an outsider is fairly universal in one way or another and you can draw from that feeling without making a statement about a specific real life issue

you can have a big scary monster who still feels at a disadvantage among humanity by isolating them. keeping with the theme of fishpeople, i recently read a book called our bloody pearl, in which humans and sirens have been at odds for ages in a bloody feud, but the book avoids turning it into an oppression narrative by emphasizing that each group poses an equal danger to the other, just in different ways. if a lone monster of your choosing can take out an army of humans alone, theyre not going to be a believable underdog and its going to be harder to empathize with their plight

this ones the big one! have a diverse cast of humans! if the only character in your cast who has experiences with being ostracized for their appearance/culture/etc is also a horrifying inhuman monster, not only is that probably going to make for a boring unsubstantial relationship between them and human character(s), it sends a really uncomfortable message

not to go back to praising tsow, but one of the main reasons the creature and elisa have such a rich relationship is because she feels that, as a disabled woman who exclusively speaks asl, he understands her in a way many people dont. this is also reflected in her friendships. people who have experienced systemic ostracism are more likely to gravitate towards each other, even if their personal experiences are widely different. celebrate that!

this stuff doesnt have to be depressing. finding someone who sees you no matter who you are or the depths of your differences is a magical thing. you may not be able to entirely cut out human experience as a point of reference, if only because its presumably going to be humans receiving and responding to your work, and we tend to project. but thats not a bad thing!

and like as always consume media, analyze what works and what doesnt, get critique where youre unsure, and keep going with the understanding that it might take a few passes before you find a narrative that really hits.

[dimplyowl]

This is exactly why I called it “breaking my silence.” Because no one who has a criticism about Con can ever voice it without being called a bully. Because I know for a FACT that there are people who don’t like his rendition but pretend to because they don’t want to get jumped on. Like I’m sorry that I wanted to vent. About a thing that drives me crazy. And that apparently you all took that to mean “I have the only right opinion and everyone who disagrees is stupid and wrong.” Sorry for not slapping every other sentence in my original post with “this is my OPINION btw”, because it was for venting. And idk about you, but when I vent about something, i dont exactly worry about everyone taking everything I say completely literally because it’s VENTING.

YOU even mentioned expression under "there is so much more to singing then just being able to hold a tone", this is again more a question of taste so you’re welcome to a different opinion but you have to get over the fact that TO ME and a lot of other people Cons vocal expression is great and just makes me FEEL things. 

That's fine, you're allowed to have your own opinions. Music is subjective. To a point. But I can tell you that I personally was never very good at being expressive in performances, and you can bet I got notes on it. And if I had performed the way Con did, I absolutely would have gotten notes on expression, breath control, diction, pronunciation... I don't think it's too much to expect that a professional actor who is getting paid to do this to actually excel at it. Especially since it's prerecorded. And I assume they would have done multiple takes. You're allowed your opinion, and you're moved by his performance. I'm allowed my opinion, and I wasn't. And I listed the things that I would have liked to see done better (or done at all) for me to like the performance. Again, my opinion.

not even a vocal trainer?, your "source" is “I took singing lessons”? Everyone can do that, that says precisely nothing about your own qualification.

Again, this was a vent post, I wasn't really expecting anyone to interact with it, I didn't realize I need to give an outline of my education and experience. It also was a bit of a joke that apparently you missed.

Being a classically trained vocalist is miles away from “I took singing lessons.” It’s the difference between saying “I can speak on biology because I have a degree in biology” versus “I took biology classes.” It means that I’ve been trained in vocal techniques like mouth placement, tongue placement, breath support, posture, projection, vocal balance, etc etc. I’m not trying to sound superior, I’m just trying to say that I know more about this topic than the average person. Is a geologist being superior by citing their degree in order to speak on a geology-related subject?

“then don’t read it! How entitled are you to think that every fanfic author in this whole entire fandom has to agree with your taste in music? Don’t like it? Don’t fucking read it”

Yeah I generally don’t. But I can’t exactly avoid it when it’s not really something that can be tagged??? It’s something that tends to just pop up in fics??? And I wasn’t actually saying that I think everyone needs to bend to my whims or some shit. I was expressing something that annoys me. In an overly exaggerated way. Not every sentence needs to be taken literally. Like if I said “ugh I hate nuts in brownies, brownies should NEVER have nuts in them” I’m not actually saying that everyone needs to stop putting nuts in their brownies because I said so. I’m saying I don’t like nuts in brownies, this is how much I don’t like nuts in brownies.

“‘I’m not saying that Con doesn’t deserve this one’ -except you literally just DID”

I didn’t. I said that people win awards who don’t deserve it all the time. I said that to indicate that having won an award for something doesn’t necessarily give credence to an argument, in general. Not necessarily to this particular situation. I didn’t fucking say Con doesn’t deserve this award. I said maybe he did. I don’t know because I haven’t seen it, and I don’t really want to tbh, but I don’t have to see a performance from 40 years ago to critique a performance from last year. Like I said, voices change. Skill levels change. Especially if you’re not actively working on keeping them up. I don’t know what Con’s vocal practice looks like, or if he even has one anymore, but I can tell you my personal opinion on this performance, based on my own education.

It’s not hateful to vent about something that bothers me without specifically saying that this is my opinion on it, and we’re allowed to have different opinions. It’s not hateful to outline the reason something bothers me. If you interpreted my tone as being superior or aggressive or “everyone should have my opinion”, whatever that means, then fine. I don’t care. I do care about being called a bully when I was venting about something that bothers me, speaking generally into the void of the internet, having tagged it appropriately as a critical post, not expecting anyone to interact with it. That “don’t like don’t read” goes both ways. Don’t like a post, don’t interact. Just block and move on. The block is there for a reason.

Okay I’m breaking my silence. Con’s voice is not good. His rendition of La Vie en Rose is bad. And grating. And his French pronunciation sucks. Sure he can hold a tune, but there’s so much more to singing than that that he doesn’t have, or isn’t trained in. Timbre. Intonation. Expression. Resonance. Breath control. Source: I’m a classically trained vocalist.

There. I said it. If I see one more fic talking about how beautiful/gorgeous/amazing/whatever Izzy’s singing is, I’m going to throw something. Surprising is fine. Because it was surprising (and out of left field) for Izzy to sing. But beautiful, it ain’t.

[aaliyah-babe]

The One With The East German Laundry Detergent: Part One

pairings: eventual joey x reader, jamie x reader

authors note: i own nothing from friends, all credit goes to their respective owners. feedback is always appreciated!

feeback is the glue that holds my writing together!

you and jamie had been having a great few days with eachother, and he and the gang had gotten close, his favourites are definitely pheobe and chandler.

“say babe, should we head down to the coffe house? i think they are down there,” you said to him after you guys finish discussing dinner,

“sure, let’s go,” jamie takes your hand in his and hands you you’re coat and the two of you head down,

“hey guys!” you smile at them and they wave back before monica continues,

“will you let it go?” she asks, “it’s not that big a deal,”

“not that big a deal? it’s amazing, okay? you just reach in there, there’s one little manoeuvr and bam! a bra, right out the sleeve!” ross exclaims,

“oh, my god, this is what you guys discuss?” jamie jokes,

“sadly babe, yes,” you both sit down next to pheobe who leans over to you,

“we’re discussing things that are better about being a man or a woman,” she whispers,

“ah, okay,” you whisper back,

“all right, as far as i’m concerned there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close,” ross states,

“oh, come on! you guys can pee standing up!” rachel argues,

“we can? okay, i’m trying that,” chandler says and high fives jamie.

you smile at the two,

“alright, you know what blows my mind? women can see breasts anytime they want.” all the guys point in agreement at joeys argument, and you scoff, “you just look down and there they are, how you get any work done is beyond me,”

“oh yeah, and when you look down i’m guessing you see nothing?” you joke about joeys penis, and he flips you off, “kidding,”

“ooh, okay, you know what i don’t get? the way guys can do so many mean things and then not even care,” pheobe says and the guys shut up, well before jamie speaks,

“multiple orgasms!” he yells, and you and the girls give in at this.

“damn it, i thought we were gonna win that argument,” you say to jamie and he smiles,

“nope, not even close,” he says before getting up,

“i got to head to work, but i’ll see you later?” he looks at you, and you nod,

“definitely! cherry pie ba-bay!” you laugh at yourself, he kisses your head before leaving,

“cherry pie ba-bay?” ross looks at you,

“what? it’s an inside joke, leave me alone!” you sink into chandler.

“so saturday night, the big night, date night, saturday night, sa-tur-day night!” chandler says

“no plans, huh?” joey asks,

“not a one,”

“not even, say, breaking up with janice?” you ask him, before taking a sip of your coffee,

“oh, right, right. shut up!” he says to you, and you giggle,

“chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. you just got to do it,” monica reassures him,

“i know, but it’s just so hard you know? i mean, you’re sitting there with her. she has no idea what’s happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there’s that horrible awkward moment when you hand her the note,” he says and you scoff,

“oh, my god chandler,” you sigh at him,

“why do you have to break up with her? be a man, just stop calling.” joey says and you swat his leg, he looks at you before pushing you to the side,

“watch it tribianni! i’m a whole lot tougher than you are,” you warn him,

“want a bet?” he asks you, and you smirk,

“yeah, $10 says i can beat you in an arm wrestle upstairs?” you say,

“it’s on!” you two shake hands,

“chandler, if you want, i’ll do it with you,” phoebe offers,

“oh thanks, but i think she’d feel like we’re ganging up on her,” chandler says,

“no, i mean, you break up with janice and i break up with tony,”

“oh you’re breaking up with tony?” monica asks her,

“yeah, i know he’s sweet, but it’s just not fun anymore, you know? i don’t know if it’s me or his hunger strike, or...” she trails off,

“does anybody want anything else?” rachel asks,

“oh, yeah. last week you had a wonderful nutty, chocolaty kind of a cakey pie-thing...” ross gets interrupted by rachel impatiently tapping her pen on her notepad, “nothing, just, just... i’m fine,”

“what’s the matter? why do scrunchy?” pheobe asks her,

“ugh, it’s my father, he wants to give me a mercedes convertible,” she sighs,

“man that guy.. he burns me up,” ross says sarcastically,

“why is that a problem?” you ask her,

“because, it’s a mercedes if i move back home,” she sighs again, “ugh, it was horrible! he called me “young lady””

“ooh, i hate when my father calls me that,” chandler says, probably not kidding,

“did he give you that, “you’re not up to this” thing again?” monica asks,

“oh, yeah. i actually got the extended disco version, with three choruses of, “you’ll never make it on your own”” she says,

“uh-huh, uh-huh,” pheobe nods her head, and you laugh,

the door to the coffe house opens and joeys ex-girlfriend angela walks in, looking extremely stunning,

“holy smokes is that angela?” you ask joey and he looks at her, his eyes widening,

“hi, joey,” she smiles seductively at him,

“oh my god it is,” he says,

“wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her,” monica said,

“are you going to go over there?” phoebe asks, joey looked at you, but you didnt see that, and he turned back to angela,

“no, yeah, no.” he looked at you again but low and behold, you didn’t see it, “okay, but not yet, i don’t want to seem to eager.” he sits back,

“one-mississippi. two-mississippi. three-mississippi... that seems pretty cool,” he got up and walked over to her.

“so, you guys got any plans tonight?” chandler asked,

“yep,” they all looked at you,

“cherry pie, remember? with my ba-bay!” you smiled at them and they nodded. you guys got up and grabbed your coats, waiting for joey before you all left.

you were getting a strange feeling from him, like he was a little distant when jamie was around, but when it was the seven of you or it was just you and him, did he not like jamie?

you were back at your apartment, bored out of your mind, so you decide to call ross, you know, see how he’s doing,

you picked up the phone and dialled his number, he answered as soon as it rang,

“hello?” you heard him say,

“hey ross!” you yelled,

“oh, hi y/n,” he sighed,

“wow, guess somebody’s not happy to see me- or hear me in this case,”

“no it’s not that it’s just- did you need anything?” he changed the subject,

“yes, i’m bored and i have nothing to do so, what are you doing?” you ask him,

“i’m with chandler at my apartment?” he offers.

“give me five minutes,”

you hang up the phone and rush to get ready so you weren’t bored anymore, and like you said, five minutes later you were banging on ross’ door.

“let me in! let me in! let me in!” you went to bang again before the door opened and you fell forward slightly,

“come in,” chandler sighed, closing the door after you,

“okay so what are we doing?” you asked them,

“we are helping ross get ready for laundry!” chandler said with the same excitement which made your face fall,

“laundry?”

“no but it’s good because it’s with monica and rachel,” ross tried to reason,

“and? i don’t have any laundry, but hurry up, once you go, me and chandler can go catch a movie or something,”

“okay, so-” ross was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing, he walked to the bedroom to answer it,

“so what movie?” you asked chandler,

“i dont know you’re the one who decided we should go,” he told you, following ross into the bedroom,

“dick,” you muttered following him, he put an arm around you when you got there.

“okay, bye.” ross said putting down the phone, “well, monica’s not coming. it’s just going to be me and rachel,”

you knew about ross’ giant crush on rachel, because it was so obvious.

“well, hold on there, camper, you sure you’ve thought this through?” chandler said to him,

“it’s laundry. the thinking through is pretty minimal,” he answered,

“see, it’s just you and rachel, just the two of you? this is a date, you’re going on a date,”

“what?” you scoffed,

“nu-uh,” ross said at the same time as you.

“yuh-huh,” chandler said,

“so, what are you saying here— i should shave again, pick up some wine? what?” ross worried,

“okay, ross. calm down, its fine,” you gave a death glare to chandler,

“first of all, you may want to rethink the dirty underwear,” chandler pointed to the basket,

ross looked at the two of you confused, “yeah i get what he means. this is basically the first time she’s gonna see your underwear, do you want it to be dirty?” you ask him,

“no,” he sighed,

“oh and uh, the fabric softener?” chandler asked,

“okay, okay, now, what is wrong with my snuggles?” chandler and you looked at eachother with wide eyes before back at ross, “it, what? it says i’m a sensitive, warm kind of guy, you know? like a little fuzzy bear,” he looked at you and chandler, “alright i can pick something else up on the way,”

“there you go,”

you and chandler were about to go catch a movie when he stopped you,

“i remember what i have to do now,” he told you,

“what?” you questioned,

“break up with janice with pheobe,” he said to you,

“chandler, come on! we never do stuff together!”

“now, that is not true, last week you uh, well you and i... we played softball,”

“that was with rachel, ross and joey!”

he looked at you apologetically, “fine, whatever. i’m coming until jamie comes though!”

“fine, that’s fine! that’s good! let’s go!” he grabbed your hand and ran to the coffee house as pheobe was already there,

“hey pheebs,” you said to her,

“hi, y/n,”

“tony not here yet?” you asked her,

“nope, neither is janice,” chandler said worriedly, “where are they?”

“you know, this is nice. we never do anything just the three of us,” phoebe says,

“it’s great, maybe tomorrow we can rent a car, run over some puppies,” chandler said,

“i don’t want to do that,”

you heard the door opening and janice walked in and you and pheobe turned to chandler before walking to the counter,

“hey pheebs?” you asked her,

“hey y/n?”

“did you notice something off about joey, like anytime we’re with jamie?” you asked her, her eyes widened but she quickly collected herself,

“no, why?” she said,

“i think he might not like jamie, and my friends liking my boyfriends are really important to me, you know?”

“yeah, sweetie. but i mean, maybe you shouldn’t be talking to me about this, maybe it’s joey you should talk to,”

“oh, you’re right. i hate it when you’re right,” you sighed and she rubbed your back,

“hey pheobe, you called me?” you both turned around to see tony standing there, and pheobe went to talk to him,

“hey gunther? can i have an espresso please?” you looked at chandler and saw how awkward he was, “two please? and a latte for janice,” he nodded.

he handed you the espresso and walked over to chandler and janice before handing them the drinks, chandler looked at you thankfully, so you smiled at him.

phoebe hugged tony and you looked at chandler to see him totally confused, and you shrugged.

“what?!” he exclaimed and janice looked up,

“what?”

“what.... did you get me there?” he saved himself,

you saw janice give chandler socks, and you chuckled before turning back to phoebe,

“so what are you going to say to him?” she asked you,

“i dont know pheebs, what do you say in that situation? “hey, do you like my boyfriend? if not that’s cool just me honest with me?”” you asked her,

“that’s good,” she said to you and you nodded,

it was later on and chandler still hadn’t broken up with janice, and had drunk about 9 espressos,

“chandler you can do it!” you told him,

“it’s just like pulling off a band-aid. okay, just do it really fast and then the wound is exposed,” pheobe guided him.

chandler sat back down next to janice,

“janice... hi janice. okay, here we go, i don’t think we should go out anymore,” chandler told her,

janice’s face fell and her mouth turned into an ‘o’ shape,

“all right,” she said, sitting back into her seat,

“well... well, there you go,” janice started to cry and looked up, fanning her face, “stop it. stop it, stop it,”

chandler looked at you and pheobe and you shared the same “oh my god” look.

she hadn’t taken it very well so this was try 358 of chandler to break up with janice, he was banging on the table, hyper because of how many espressos he had.

“here’s the thing janice, we’re different. you know i’m like the bing, bing, bing.” chandler emphasised with his hands, “and you’re like the boom boom, boom!” he emphasised with his hand but slapped janice right in the eye.

“my god!”

“ow,”

“i’m so sorry,”

“ow,”

“are you okay?”

“ow,” she got up and walked to the bathroom,

chandler tried to dig his head under the couch cushions but nothing worked, he was still visible.

“i hit her in the eye!” he yelled at you both. “this is the worst breakup in the history of the world!”

“oh, my god,” phoebe sighed,

“well, is she okay?” you asked,

“i dont know!”

phoebe was about to take a sip of her espresso when chandler took it and drank it himself,

“okay, how many of those have you had?” she asked him,

“oh, i don’t know, a million!” he said,

“chandler, shhh. easy, easy, go to your happy place, la la la la la la la,” pheobe began to sing,

“i’m fine! i’m fine! i’m not fine! here she comes, she’s coming!”

“okay, let me handle this,” phoebe said walking over to janice.

she talked to her for a while before giving her a hug, janice looked at chandler sympathetically before leaving the coffee house, leaving you and chandler baffled.

let me know if you want to be mentioned in future taglists!

taglist: @zestygingergirl

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

princess-nazario:

It's ok, thanks for clearing things up. See, everytime theres a post that might just be different the tumblr-fad! Version you speak or questions how tumblr might be romanticizing them theres always annoying people in the replies saying that theres a version where she wanders down the underworld herself, or that the version where shes kidnapped is...weak or a damsel in distress since it doesnt fit into tumblrs made idea of empowerment?? Its so annoying honestly. I saw this kind of stuff in a lot of posts while exploring the greek myth tag and its just... infuriating. I definitely should ignore them but it seriously makes me kind of sad and angry at the same time? The hades and persephone posts are everything(mostly tumblr-fad!) Version I reread your original post and yes I do agree, tumblr-fad! Persephone does take away a lot of the complexities and archetypes I read you examine. I think Hadestown might portray Hades and Persephone's power struggle well, it doesnt completely ignore the implications its giving off for the sake of some romance. This is what tumblr is doing and it's really annoying. By doing this and reducing the characters here to simple boxes it's taking away your interest in the myth, I think that's what you meant? I think your study of Hades/the underworld being Persephones self, cthonic meaning "spirit of nature within, inner self" while I dont fully understand that's really cool. I especially dislike how woobified and depowered he usually is in the tumblr-fad! Theres a lot you can work with him as the antagonist in a retelling I think. In fact maybe itd be great to have a retelling that explores the power struggle between Hades and Persephone and shows how Persephone gets through adversity and becomes of equal power through oppressive authority? Thatd be really cool. Tumblr-fad! Version is the twilight of myths but kind of the opposite. In twilight, the author itself romanticizes the creepiness and power struggle that might be there between Edward itself(although Bella does have a lot of agency so I think that's why it resonated so much with female readers?) while the Persephone has a various amount of versions, most versions being she was kidnapped/abduction with many meanings and metaphors and allegories to things, and tumblr-fad! Version ignores nuance in favor of their ships. Thanks for being so open and honest about this, I honestly was stressed because I thought my response maybe being immature or uninformed might be irritating or annoying. I haven't been sneaking through your blog or anything like that, I just saw your original post in the goddess demeter tag so I searched up "Persephone" on your stuff since I was curious with what else you might have to say about it. I wish Tumblr could maybe bother to learn something called not everything is entirely not THIS thing or the OTHER and maybe do something different from what Hades and Persephone coming to be known as the peak of all love stories on the website.

@princess-nazario I hope you don’t mind, I copy pasted your last reblog into a new post thread because the last one was getting massive.

I think I’m starting to understand what you’re getting at regarding the perception of victims as “weak,” and it makes a lot of sense. Thank you for clarifying regarding the “damsel in distress” trope because that’s when it clicked for me what you were talking about. I actually agree on that point, I think there is a tendency for pop feminism to kind of portray more vulnerable, sensitive or fragile women as less feminist, so I can see how you’re applying that to your views on how people on tumblr perceive the story of Hades and Persephone.

That said, I think you have a lot of different angles you’re looking at this whole thing from, and that’s great! However I think there’s so many subjects you are trying to tackle here that it seems like you are kind of are only half informed about, maybe from exploring discussions online. I think this is resulting in conclusions that are kind of confused and lacking in more solid foundations, if that makes sense. I think maybe you might benefit from exploring each element further on their own merits.

For example, did you know that there are a lot of different feminist viewpoints on Twilight itself? And not all feminists completely condemn it? In my opinion, there are a lot of things about Twilight to criticize, however there was a distinct element of hatred for the interests and desires of teenage girls involved with how people responded en masse to the Twilight phenomenon. I don’t think you were old enough to be directly familiar with all this at the time. I think a decent primer would be this video from Lindsay Ellis (tho please keep in mind that some of her most recent content is not for younger audiences). It doesn’t cover all angles of the topic, but it does give an alternative perspective in retrospect about the raging Twilight hate that swept through pop culture for a long time:

Also, there is a whole conversation to be had about the concept of “woobification,” and why that word exists, as well as how it is used in conversations about girls and women’s fantasies. The original post I made shows that I have my own frustrations when male villains and darker archetypes are whittled down to something seemingly non-threatening and “socially acceptable” myself (like...turning the beast into the prince in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast), but in my experience, people have often used the word “woobie” to describe any explorations of the vulnerability of these types of male characters when women do so because they find those men intriguing or attractive, and that can get kind of tricky because in many ways, those conversations can harbor a subtle resentment and shaming towards female fantasties, period.

I’m getting the impression that maybe there’s something about Hades and Persephone, or at least the archetypes they embody, that really intrigues you, but you’re not sure what you are supposed to think and feel about it from a feminist perspective. That’s ok, ultimately you’ll figure it out on your own. I can’t tell you what to think about the myths themselves on their own, separate from contemporary feminist media because that’s ultimately it’s own thing, and you can springboard your own perspectives and reimagining off of the original in any way that feels right to you.

 What I can do though, is leave you with some age-apropriate content that I was consuming at your age, as well as a link to a site that explores stories with similar archetypes that Persephone embodies. 

The site is called Girls Underground, and it explores and catalogues stories about girls who go on heroine’s journeys in the “Cthonic” context like I was talking about, as in exploring their own inner psyches through the experience of traversing a strange, scary, magical place. Sometimes these stories involve the trope of a spooky attractive male character who takes on an adversarial role that is sometimes also romantically charged, but not all of them do. I think the resources page may be of particular interest to you because it links to essays on subjects within this genre of storytelling. The Examples page has a ton of other stories not listed here that you can take a look at, however not all of them (but many of them!) are kid friendly.

Movies that I would recommend: 

Labyrinth (1986), which was my favorite film since early childhood, and is the reason I love these types of stories to begin with.

Legend(1985), which doesn’t depict a healthy dynamic, but is a great film and does have a big place in the general conversation about this type of storytelling.

Howl’s Moving Castle, either the book or the film. 

Pan’s Labyrinth is rated R for some gore and violence, and it has scary moments, but I think it’s fine for most teens. The character of Pan is not part of that whole “demon lover” trope because the heroine is a small child, but he takes on a similar role in terms of being a figure that embodies the underworld and thus a major part of the heroine’s psyche.

Honestly, I would consider Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (the original, not the live action remake) a good rendition. It was written by a woman.

Jean Cocteau’s black and white La Belle et La Bete.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, or a film adaptation of the same.

Rebecca by Daphne DuMarier, which is what my username is from. I’m fond of the Hitchcock film adaptation.

Honestly, the 2004 adaptation of Phantom of the Opera is...flawed, but it was my introduction to Phantom, and it’s a lot of melodramatic fun. 

It’s worth noting that in a lot of these stories, there are not perfect, healthy relationships depicted between men and women. There is cruelty, there is harm. But in many cases, that does not mean these stories have nothing to say about relationships between men and women, nor does it say that they are solely tales about abuse and we cannot find romanticism within them. Each story has it’s own flaws, it’s own strengths, hold deeper meanings beyond the surface. They contribute something distinct to a rich history of artistic explorations of the dynamics of power in romance and the female experience with our own desires within a patriarchal society.

[nostalgiaispeace]

2089.

What’s your name?

ashley

Where do you live? kentucky

When’s your birthday? december 24th

What’s your astrological sign? capricorn

Do you actually believe in that stuff? no. it’s fun tho

How old are you? 30

Do you have a high school diploma or the equivalent? yeah

Do you have an undergraduate degree? If so, in what? never finished

What is your favorite…

Quote?

i don’t have one

Color? orange

Song? i dont have one

Band/singer? lana del rey

Book? harry potter

Author? jk rowling

School subject? -

Science (chemistry, biology, physics, etc.)? -

Math (algebra, geometry, calculus, etc.)? -

Language? french

Operating system? apple

Instrument? piano

Letter? I don’t have one

Number? 3

Car? 1967 chevy impala

Pattern (polka spots, stripes, plaid, etc.)? plaid

Word? -

Animal? Kitties!

Country? europe

Drink (alcoholic or otherwise)? coffee

Food? pizza

Restaurant? mexican

Website? tumblr

Sport? gymnastics

Flower? lilies

Ice cream flavor? chocolate chip cookie dough

Television show? supernatural

Shirt? i don’t have one

Shape? star

Eye color? brown

Hair color? blonde

Movie? titanic

Gum flavor? peppermint

Random Stuff About You

Do you have your drivers’ license?

Yes

Have you ever been swimming in an ocean? yeah

What’s the last song you listened to? -

Do you prefer coloring pencils, crayons, or markers? coloring pencils

Can you make any origami figures? If so, what? no

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? yeah

Do you get cold easily? no

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? no

Do you have great eyesight, or do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses

Do you know how to play chess? no

Do you know how to play checkers? no

Do you like Sudoku puzzles? no

Do you like word searches? no

Do you like crossword puzzles? yeah

Do you like logic puzzles? no

Can you play any card games? no

Do you play board games? yeah

Do you do jigsaw puzzles? no

Do you listen to the same song on repeat for a long time, even occasionally? i do

Do you take any prescription medications on a regular basis? yes

Would you prefer to be too hot or too cold? neither

Do you like to swim? no

Have you ever been to a farm? yeah

Do you like instrumental music? yeah

Do you drink diet soda? yes

Do you drink soda? yes

Have you ever put Mentos into soda? no

Have you ever combined baking soda and vinegar? yes

Did you ever make Oobleck in science class when you were a kid? no

Do you know any HTML? not anymore

Have you ever read any of Shakespeare’s work? many

Do you write poetry? sometimes

Do you read? yes

Can you throw a frisbee? not well

Do you watch a lot of television? not really

Do you think that you have a good sense of humor? yeah

Are you a mean person? i can be

Do you have any bruises? If so, how did you get them? no

Does the thought of public speaking make you nervous? no

Are you afraid of heights? yeah

So, what ARE you afraid of? fish

Are you listening to music? No

Has anyone ever called you ‘disturbed’? i dont’ think so

Have you ever been kicked out of a place? If so, where? And why? no

Do you take a lot of these surveys? yeah

When was the last time you fingerpainted? idk

When was the last time you sent an e-mail? idk

A text message? today

Called someone on the phone? today

Tripped over something? today im’ sure

Do you like chocolate? yeah

How many pillows are on your bed? 6

Do you have any pets? yeah

Have you ever been on a horse? yeah

Have you ever climbed a tree? yah

Do you like art? yeah

Do you use any sort of social networking site? yeah

What time is it? 8:47pm

Have you ever been in a car accident? yeah

When was the last time you felt embarrassed? today

Did it rain today? yeah

Have you ever had a poison ivy rash? no

When was the last time you felt immensely happy? today

Do you take a multivitamin or any other supplement? yes. prenatals and iron

What household chore do you absolutely hate? all of them

Tell me something random about yourself. i’m pregnant

Can you cook? yeah

Do you like to be silly? yeha

What kinds of things have you wanted to be 'when you grow up’? singer. actress.

Have you ever been on a boat? yeah

Do/did you like school? i liked college

Do you have a camera? on my phone

Have you ever been bitten by a tick? No

Have you ever seen a wild snake? no

Have you ever gone hiking in the woods? yeah

Do you have a lot of friends? no

Do you keep a diary/journal/blog? not really

What color are your eyes? brown

Do you like snow? yeah

Would you prefer to sing or dance in front of other people? sing

Would you prefer to sing or dance when you’re by yourself? both

Can you spell really well? no

Do you mind poor grammar? i do

What’s your favorite texting/IM abbreviation? omg and lol

Do you wear a watch? no

Do you shop at thrift stores? no

What is your dream job? to be a stay at home mom

What is one thing that really freaks you out? fish

Do you like bananas? Yes

Do you eat meat? yes

Do you drink coffee? not since i’ve been pregnant

Do you clean your computer screen often? no. i should tho lol

Have you ever sneezed onto your computer screen? yeah

Let’s talk about numbers.

How many people live with you?

1

How many digits of pi do you have memorized? 3.14159

Can you count using binary numbers? no

How many states have you visited? a lot

How many countries? none

How many browser windows/tabs do you have open? a lot

How many times have you blinked in the past minute? idk

How many seconds are in a minute? 60

Are you afraid of mathematics? no

What’s the square root of 121? 11

Sorry, sorry, the nightmare is over :) How about some more random questions to let you relax?

Have you ever read the webcomic xkcd?

no

Can you play an instrument? no

Can you read sheet music? yes

What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? italian sub

Do you have a bedtime? no

Have you ever gone sledding? no

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? If so, what kind of face did you make? yeah. a normal one

Do you ever make funny faces at yourself in the mirror? yeah

Have you ever played the classic shaving-cream-in-the-hand prank on someone? no

Do you think that’s a mean thing to do? yeah

Do you like cake? yeah

Do you like pie? yes

Do you like popsicles? love

Do you use the television or computer more? Computer

Do you have a favorite chair to sit in? yeah

Are you getting tired of this survey? yeah

Do you like to wear hats? no

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yes

Do your shoes provide lots of arch support? no

Do you like to go to yard sales? no

Have you ever had a yard sale at your house? yeah

Do you like apples? allergic

Do you like peanut butter? yes

Do you like licorice? nooo

Do you like lima beans? ew no

Do you like limes? yeah

What color are your bedroom walls? off white

Guess how many questions you’ve done. I don’t know either, so just guess. no

What’s your favorite color to wear? black

Do you tell secrets when people confide in you? depends

Do you listen to your music with the volume up really high? depends

Do you like to try new foods? no

How many different programs are you currently using? just firefox

How many different operating systems have you used? i’m old so alot

What time is it now? 8:53pm

Are you wearing socks? no

Are you comfortable with yourself? no

Do you lose small things (like your car keys) often? no

Is your mind in the gutter? No

Have you ever broken a bone? no

Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert

Do you read the dictionary for fun? no

Tater tots or fries? fries

Do you like to wear flip flops? no

Are you more of an optimist or pessimist? pessimist

Do you like animals? yeah

Do you like little kids? yes

Are you a 'people person’? no

Have you ever seen a rainbow? yeah

How was your day? chill

What do you plan to do tomorrow? work

When was the last time you did laundry? today

Have you ever played Snake? yes

Have you ever played Scrabble? yes

Are there any television commercials that really get on your nerves? all of them

Do you like scary movies? yes

Are you itchy anywhere on your body? yes

What’s the title of the last book you read? a pregnancy book

Do you read more fiction or nonfiction books? a good mix

Are you a member of any clubs or organizations? Nope

What color is your favorite pair of socks? i don’t have any

Do you own a lava lamp? No

Do you have anything else to say? no                            

[writtenbyhappynerds]

Fanfic 102: Unit 3, Diversity

          Hello! Welcome back. This week we’re going to talk about Diversity. Beyond how to insert diversity into your writing, the nuances, and the ways you can create a believable character. The Editor and I understand how sensitive of a subject this is, and wanted to take the time to make sure the information we are doling out is inclusive and well-written and quality. There is often a lack of diversity in media and books, and often when it is included it’s shoe-horned in for brownie points. We understand that, and we want the up-and-coming writers to be better than those before them. The two most important things to remember are the following: no diversity beats terribly-done diversity, and, the way that the character is diverse is not and should never be their whole personality. We will be discussing LGBT, ableism, and race.

          The LGBT community is a vibrant community with members of all shapes and sizes. The most important part when writing a character who is gay or trans is that this aspect is part of their identity but it is not their whole identity. When we discussed characterization in Fanfiction 101, we talked about not reducing side characters or members of the cast to one-note aspects of their personality. The same applies here, and a character’s sexuality or gender expression should not be at the forefront of every conversation. You shouldn’t create these characters with their sexual or gender identity being at the forefront of your mind, because you wouldn’t do that for a straight or cis character. You wouldn’t sit down to make a character with your first thought being ‘ok but they have to be cis,’ so it’s silly to do the same to a gay or trans or nonbinary character. Make them like you would any other character. What changes would be aspects of their identity, or values they hold near and dear to their heart or motivations. Those may be different than a straight character or a cis-gender character.

          If you’re straight or cis and writing a gay or trans character, you need to do your research to accurately portray the character in a realistic and believable way. An example we love is Todd Chavez in Bojack Horseman, who portrayed an asexual character, and Todd’s journey as he came into his own. Bojack Horseman also portrayed polyamory with Hollyhock, who was the adopted daughter of 8 dads. What we enjoyed was that Todd’s sexuality added dimension to his character. It didn’t reduce him to being the token LGBT representative, and it didn’t force him into a box where he could only focus on LGBT issues. Todd was and is so much more than that, and his sexuality is a part of his story, but it’s not the sole story.

Rick Riordan is a master of writing experiences that are not his own, and he cheated the system by basing his characters off of people he knew. This is a method that you can use. You can base your characters off of friends, public figures, etc. If you decide to not do that, googling what transgender men and women have to experience or what top surgery is isn’t enough. I would suggest looking to Youtube, where many transgender and LGBT  influencers have talked about their experiences. I would suggest looking to forums, Reddit being one of them. Yahoo Answers is also a really good source. What you want is as many experiences as you can get: ones that are similar, and ones that contrast. The goal is to combine them and make your own character in a melting pot of other experiences. You owe it to not only those who read your story but yourself to do the research. You want your characters to represent the communities you do, and the ones you don’t as best you can.

          Let’s move on to people of color (POC). The same rules we’ve discussed prior apply: A poorly written POC is worse than no POC (Looking at you Baljeet). In addition, that POC’s ethnicity should not be their entire personality, and if you are creating a character just to say that you have made a POC, then you have already failed. There are many issues we see when we find people of color in fanfiction. Among them are language barriers, naming, and a misinterpretation of cultural values and experiences.

          Putting words in a foreign language in the middle of fanfic is very, very common. You see it everywhere. In Avengers fanfic it’s Russian or Norse. In Batman fanfic, it’s any of the languages that the Batkids speak. The writers put in these conversations that sometimes go on for pages in another language, and then add an author’s note at the bottom with the translation. This is awkward, and when you read books, this is something you never see. If you want your character to speak another language, you don’t need to actually write the other language. Putting a few sentences through Google translate doesn’t make you a better or more dedicated writer than someone who adds the tag: “she was screaming now, all her words coming out in rapid French.” Tags can be used to dictate a change in language, and I encourage you to use them. Now, there are of course exceptions to this rule, and those exceptions usually lie in food, names, and things. Calling someone a name that is in another language is fine. Describing food in another language is fine, and things are generally ok. But that’s just for you. Your characters also have to speak the language.

          No one worth their salt or heritage is going to go through a moment where they start out speaking in their fluent tongue and then “forget” to switch back and forth between English and their native language. It is so incredibly unrealistic and awful and it lets the reader know someone who is not actually bilingual wrote this piece of work. When you learn two languages, here’s what really happens: you forget words. You have to stumble through words in your own language before you get to the one you need. You call things, “that thing.” You point. You sometimes say “what’s that called?” you find aspects of the second language, or even your own language stupid and you don’t want to do it. You get words mixed up and you make mistakes. That’s all okay, and that all happens, and should be written as such. One of my teachers never forgot the French word for spider because she got the shit scared out of her by one and didn’t know what to call it when she needed someone to kill it. My aunt took 3 years to learn Turkish by immersion and now can speak it fluently. You don’t even need to be fluent in every language, and many people only know a handful of words in one or a few sentences in another. That’s totally okay! If anything that’s more realistic because it’s super hard to learn a new language and speak it fluently. Don’t force your characters into a box like that. Let them make mistakes.

          Culture is a huge thing when writing POC. You have to keep in mind that culture shifts, and what may have been culturally huge for one set of characters won’t be as significant for others. You want your characters to interact with their culture in a way that is realistic, and not reductive. Kelly from the Office is a great example, as she invites the office to celebrate Diwali with her. Lara Jean from To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is another example. We see her eat Korean food at home, and in the books, she still celebrates Korean holidays. Where the shift comes into play can be seen in Never Have I Ever where Devi is not as Indian as her parents, and we see her struggle with the culture. She still goes to Hindu association things, Ganesh puja, and she wears Indian clothes. However, she’s still a normal teenager out chasing boys and worrying about colleges. In Superstore the Muslim character prays 5 times a day, and still works at the grocery giant. The big takeaway is that these people have lives that include, but aren’t limited to their cultures. They aren’t reduced to stereotypes.

          Naming characters is already rough. However, naming characters from a different background than you are even tougher. The Editor has a lot of anger towards Panju Weasley, from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Her exact words, as they were texted to me:

**

>Like Cursed Child where Ron and Padma has a kid named Panju.

>What the fuck is a Panju?

>That’s literally the dumbest name in the world

>All she had to google was Indian names.

>There are so many fucking lists.

>I dont even think it’s an actual name. Like it might be a nickname for some people but I dont think people have actually named their child panju.

**

          As usual, the Editor is very correct. There is a simple solution to getting around what we’ll call the Panju Dilemma- a phrase which we’ll use to describe terrible naming choices of POC. In Fanfiction 101 we had an entire unit centered around naming. Nameberry.com exists, and if they don’t have it all you need to do is Google the country of origin and the sex of the OC. Sometimes you can add in the year the OC was born, to really get a feel for the time period, but that doesn’t always work. For example, in one of our stories we have a cluster of kids from Syria. When it came time to name said kids, we Googled: popular Syrian names 2003. That’s how we got our OCs: Reem, Nour, Nizar, Jano, and Stella. Naming is very important, and you owe it to your readers and your characters to do them justice, and not saddle them with a terrible name.

          The final note of diversity we want to talk about is actual ability. Ableism is often overlooked in movies, shows, or books. It is something that is shoehorned in as an extra adversary for the OC or the cast, only *gasp* This time the biggest adversary is themselves. I hate that. I want to eliminate that because as someone with a disability and someone who has worked with kids with disabilities, you can absolutely write and code characters like that in so long as, and say it with me now, it is not their entire personality.

          You can totes write a character with anxiety and/or depression, so long as you don’t snub these very real mental disorders that millions face on a daily basis. You also have a duty, especially with anxiety and depression, to not glorify, glamorize, or romanticize either. Do not romanticize self-harm. Do not romanticize anxiety. Do not romanticize depression. They are not cruel tricks of life that befall beautiful intelligent women. It is not “tragically beautiful.” Depression and anxiety and self-harm are not a paragraph for you to lament on while the OC gazes longingly out the window at her lover. Anxiety keeps some people from talking on the phone they’re so nervous. It gives girls panic attacks in mall food courts because they don’t know what’s going on anymore. Depression isn’t your OC watching the rain in a hoodie and sweats, it’s not showering for days on end because you can’t find the motivation to. It’s having insomnia because you can’t sleep. Self-harm is not an OC’s love interest holding their wrists and telling them to stop. It is deep pain and numbness and hurting yourself to try and feel something. It is rubbing Neosporin on your cuts and hoping they go away. It is forcing your friends to keep it a secret because you don’t want anyone to know because what if they take it away from you. These mental disorders are not yours to romanticize. They are yours to show the growth and power and strength of your characters. They are yours to use to show how trauma has affected your character and can represent normality behind mental health and emotion and talking about things like this. Even more so than girls, writing a male OC with anxiety or depression is more empowering because you are allowing a character to talk about their feelings when that isn’t seen as acceptable by their sex. If you feel you are able to take that plunge, and you can do the adequate research to represent the disorder well, go for it.

          In addition to mental health, physical disabilities are often overlooked. I have a chronic illness. I have never seen in a book, movie, TV show, or fanfiction anyone with a chronic illness, let alone my chronic illness. That in of itself is a broad term, and I’ll let chronic illness mean anything from lupus and POTS to asthma and anemia. These disabilities make a character have to work harder, but hey, look at Captain America. The boy had every disability under the sun and he got out alright. No one is going to make changes for you. You have to be the change you want to see. If I want OCs with chronic illnesses, I have to write them and do them justice by not only my community but the communities that I don’t represent. Jeremy Scott’s The Ables is a great example of writing disability and using it as part of, but not a character’s entire identity. The main characters all have superpowers but are put in a class that doesn’t allow them to use said powers. This is because they are all disabled. The main character is blind and telekinetic, another can read minds but is in a wheelchair, another is a genius but has cerebral palsy. Their disabilities are a minor obstacle, but not the big bad, and that is a great way to write disability. People who live with physical disabilities or chronic illnesses have to deal with said limitations every day. To us, as time goes on it becomes less of the monster at the end of the story and more of an everyday beast. It becomes normal, and there are bigger things for us to worry about than just our disease. This speaks for every aspect of diversity we have covered in this chapter: The people with said note have to live with it every day. It is a common enemy, not the final boss. To treat it as such is to say that it is our biggest concern in life. I wish my chronic illness was my biggest concern, but I have other fish to fry.

          What we have done here is not an all-inclusive list of diversity. This chapter took 2 weeks to write because the Editor and I wanted to do right by our community. Not just the communities we proudly represent but the communities we don’t. There are many more nuances and aspects to diversity that are out there, and what we have presented is our best. Yet it is still incomplete. If there is something important that you feel we have left out, we sincerely apologize. We acknowledge that what we have written here is not all-encompassing for diversity. We wanted to talk about issues that are common occurrences. However, what we have covered is not the end-all of what’s out there. We apologize for the delay, and to make up for it, our next unit Writing Children will be published at the same time as this one. We sincerely apologize for the delay.

Xoxo, Gossip Girl