#i hate school. and by school i mean the specific combination of classes i have and the projects they all want done at the same time

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

im so fucking done with school i hate this shit so much

[electricsynthesis]

the way I conceive of the garrison era where the team (sans pidge) were all attending at the same time is so specific. like first of all, it’s important that you understand that I don’t just think that keith was an irritatingly competent child prodigy. I think keith was the best irritatingly competent child prodigy to grace the garrisons doors, ever. I think keith was that 1 in a million talent, the kind of talent that makes you want to claw your eyes out because he’s tiny and he’s insane and he’s MEAN but by god he can fly better than anyone. like. I don’t just think keith was the top of the sim scores. I think he was beating the records for the sim scores. Ever.

so if there’s one thing that causes groups of students to go insane it’s ^^ that. It’s knowing that there’s a guy Your Age who is not only better than you but is better than Anyone Else. mix in the fact that socially, keith is like a stray dog that’s been kicked too many times, and you have a bad combination.

I think keith got away with a lot because while he may be the star student of the century, takashi shirogane is the golden boy. he can do no wrong. A kind man with a charmed childhood who dreamed of the stars. joined the military for all the right reasons and none of the wrong ones. Isn’t a suck up but absolutely bows to authority like it’s his job. iverson fucking LOVES him. Has never raised his voice. he’ll chew keith out for 20 mins and then turn to shirogane and sweet like milk will be all…… well I guess it’s fine. I won’t give kogane detention I guess

everyone loves shiro and everyone has loved shiro since shiro entered the school at baby faced aged 15 with stars in his eyes. He’s 23 and getting married and there is a not a soul on this earth that dislikes him. so he shows up like :) so my foster brother is joining us this year! and he warns everyone that keith is “pretty shy” and “a little anxious & awkward” and everyone’s like awwww shiros baby brother is gonna be shy :) and then shiro carts in this 16 year old hell child who talks to no one unless directly addressed and even then has to get a Look from shiro before he’s like. Hi. and somehow it is the angriest sounding hi ever conceived. It’s not surly. It’s not whiney. He just sounds mad

and shiro now spends half his time gripping this random ass kid by the scruff of his neck (metaphorically and literally depending on the situation) and very kindly explaining to him that getting into Physical Altercations with his classmates does not beget learning. and he keeps using these goofy ass phrases that belong on a motivational poster. what the fuck is “patience yields focus”. What the hell does that even mean. but then it seems to WORK??? The kids like yeah. Patience yields focus. You’re right.

I don’t even think half the fights keith gets into are really the fault of his overactive temper. I think insecurity and teenaged immortality is going to be causing these children to treat keith like the dirt underneath their boots. I’m talking sabotage. Someone definitely tries the “is nice to him to get his guard down in order to sabotage something” trick but it doesn’t work because by the time keith is at the garrison he already hates the world and the children are FEEDING into this . and he isn’t going to take this with a stiff upper lip he’s fucking biting people

The reason he doesn’t remember lance is because keith was getting bullied by like 3 other people who were all actual fighter pilots in his class and shiro spent all his time talking keith out of doing the social version of chewing on electrical chords. Lance was unmemorable because he was harmless . a bit of a dick maybe but that wouldn’t have registered to keith at the time. he remembers hunk as a guy who bought him lunch once when he came into the cafeteria bleeding from multiple lip splits after having gotten his wallet stolen

The administration has wanted keith out of this school for like an entire year by the time shiro leaves for kerberos. The only reason he isn’t court martialed to hell for slamming someone’s head into a locker hard enough to bounce is because shiro hit iverson with the puppy dog eyes. once Shiro’s gone it’s a foregone conclusion and only a matter of time before keith’s getting the boot. even the most minor infraction is going to send his ass packing . They are waiting for him to even slightly fuck up. 1 feather out of place

he still manages to go out in a blaze of glory by punching iversons lights out so bad he breaks his nose. he’s five foot five and seventeen. Iverson is 6’3 and 45. It’s the greatest thing the entire student body has ever seen. lance feels something awaken in him

[cringelordofchaos]

Common ADHD traits/experiences I've heard of !!

(I was gonna make a post about why I might be neurodivergent but I figured it'd be going a bit too personal. Also this is just easier)

(ADHD is much more nuanced and complex than I may make it appear in this post. A lot of ADHD people don't have a lot of these traits or have traits not mentioned here. For example there are three types of ADHD (inattentive, hyperactive and combined) and most inattentive adhders are not going to be hyperactive lol)

Warning: badly worded (I'm stupid that's my excuse). also I'll go on personal rants as to how some of these may apply to me (whilst I can reasonate with each point listed here I won't go on a rat on all of these)

Physical hyperactivity (inability to sit/stand still (I used to think this meant that people with ADHD were incapable of. Sitting down (while constantly fidgeting or not) for one whole class)(I was an idiot)(I still am)). (Just overall constant , movement (I might have it idk I'm ALWAYS

Excessive talking

Stimming, fidgeting, general and overall repetitive movements (such as flapping hands, pacing, clasping hands together, etc)

Low attention span regarding things that don't garner much interest to you

More likely to be autistic, have anxiety or depression (or generally have other diagnostic conditions)

Ability to Hyperfocus on specific things, at times out of their control

More likely to have a lower Performance in school that most people

Proneness to addiction

Rejection sensitive dysphoria/RSD (really sensitive and afraid to rejection or criticism or disapproval or stuff like that. I'm questioning if I have it and I'm pretty sure I do bc i would have a whole breakdown bc i accidentally had a bad unintentional thought about this cool person I didn't want to hate me)(it's complicated)

Emotional disregulation (easily irritable, excited, stressed, stronger emotions, more likely to lash out, etc)(people with this are usually described to be much more emotional)

restless leg syndrome (except it's permanent lol)

Lower memory spans regarding most things

Forgetting to fulfill basic needs (such as eating, drinking, showering, etc)

Women/AFAB people are more likely to be diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (this of course does not rucking mean afab people can't b hyperactive my god)

Mental hyperactivity (racing/constant/overlapping/repetitive thoughts or stuff like that)

Impulsivity (doing stuff without thinking them fully though or not knowing why)

Sensory issues (sensitivity to sensory output such as noise, brightness, etc)

Easily bored/underwhelmed/understimulated - more likely to want to seek constant dopamine (due to l

Easily overwhelmed (whether itd be due to aforementioned sensory issues, emotional disregulation, rsd or stuff like that)

More likely to be perceived as "childish" (from what I've heard obviously this and many other things listed here don't apply to everyone)

Executive dysfunction (can't do shit at all)(ok it's more complicated than that just Google it up or something)

Having Hyperfixations (things you're DEEPLY invested in for a period of time, it can be a few days, weeks, months, sometimes more than a year, depends rly)(I'm still questioning if I'm neurodivergent but like I'm pretty sure I was in a DEEP hyperfixation mode when it came to sonic for like. A YEAR. like I literally it was literally the only thing on my brain the only thing in my life. and I would get realllytyy excited about learning obscure information about it or infodumping and I would flap my hands bc of how excited and passionate I was Abt it)(man I miss the times when I was so passionate about stuff I liked it was so fun :(( )

Higher/lower levels of empathy (I've seen this moreso been brought up with discussions regarding autism but I've also seen it brought up with ADHD itself too)

Lower levels of dopamine

Impatience

More likely to be a maladaptive daydreamer

Its cause is usually heavily genetic (meaning if your family or a family member has ADHD, you are more likely to have ADHD yourself)

More likely to have insomniac/have general problems with sleep (I'm questioning ADHD. I'm writing this like... Five hours before I'm supposed to wake up for school. Great.)

There is also a higher relevance between ADHD and PTSD

If I missed something important let me know!! Also if you don't know some of he

This post is not meant to be used as a substitute for self nor professional diagnosis, though if you feel like you might have ADHD because of this post I recommend further research and conversations with trusted advisors such as parental figures or therapists/doctors (not me not listening to my own advice)(<- that was me regarding my latter advice)(I'm too scared to tell my parents about it man)(idk why)

Things to note:

ADHD is not just about little elementary school hyperactive white boys !!

There's a lot of things I mightve missed

Not everyone with ADHD has all these traits (obviously)

Some of these traits may be common due to the commonness of ADHD + autism overlap (idk though)

Apparently it's one of the most diagnosed forms of neurodivergence in kids (about 7-10% of kids in the USA are diagnosed with ADHD)(APPARENTLY idk)

There's more but I'm tired right now byeeee

[devildom-moss]

Roses for You (10)

This had all started when you noticed a link between a book on the language of flowers you had borrowed from Satan’s room and the current lessons from your Seductive Speechcraft and Magical Potions classes.

In Seductive Speechcraft, you had just reached a section on the effectiveness of spells using non-verbal communication: enchanting glances, dance, and offerings. Meanwhile, in Magical Potions, the professor had been discussing the significance of using specific quantities when concocting potions; they had spent fifteen minutes just providing examples – including adding petals from two different flowers when using them for a love spell.

You couldn’t resist discussing the use of flower language – utilizing the type, color, and quantity of the flowers – to specify the magical intent of an offering as a form of seductive speechcraft. Asmo and Solomon listened intently. The same idea popped into both of their minds, and before you knew it, everyone was looking into color and number meanings, searching for the perfect combination to convey their feelings for you and try to put you under their spell. The only rule for their little competition to charm you? Only roses are allowed.

Will you be charmed by their attempts?

Ten Roses - Luke

Word Count: +1,400

You are perfect

This week had culminated to today – one of those days when a cruel creature crawled onto your shoulder and screamed insults into your skull every few minutes. Its words drown everything else out. You are so useless. I hate you. I hate this. I’m such a loser. In spite of that, you still managed to pull your heavy limbs out of bed and drag them through about 60% of your morning routine – a win. It was just two classes today. You could do it.

You were noticeably slower as you walked to class, and you felt your spine compress and the full weight of your body with every step. Guilt set in – both ashamed and anxious about potentially being recognized at the bottom of this well. What were you expected to say if they asked about it? What if they were mad or annoyed because you were feeling bad again? How honest could you be without making them worry about you? What if you started crying the second they showed they cared? That would be embarrassing.

A small voice broke through your intense focus on the worst possible outcomes. You tuned your ears to it halfway through. “. . . busy after school?”

“Huh?” You blinked out of your self-induced trance. “Sorry, what was that, Luke?”

“Are you busy after school, MC?” You shook your head slowly. Luke grinned. “Great. Will you go on a picnic with me this afternoon?”

“Well, I –” you stopped yourself. The part of you that was exhausted and wasn’t sure if you could put in the extra strength to get through a picnic crumbled at the sight of Luke’s angelic smile. Maybe this was something you had to do – one of those things that are supposed to help you feel better. Your shoulders slumped with a sigh, and you forced a smile. “Yeah. Okay, Luke.”

“Yay.” Luke clasped his hands together with a grin. “I’ll meet you after your last class. We can have it at the park on the way back home, so we won’t have to go too out of the way. I’ll have everything ready.”

“Wait. Can I do anything to help? It’s last minute, but I have time between classes – maybe I could –”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got everything handled. Actually, well,” Luke hummed, wondering if he should share the truth. With a slight blush on his cheeks, he admitted, “I planned ahead, hoping you would say yes. I already made the food and got drinks. All you have to do is be there, really!”

You could hear the determination in Luke’s voice. It warmed your heart that he cared so much to do this, but it was a painful, burning warmth – the prickle you feel when warming your freezing fingers. His kindness felt wasted, but Luke wanted to offer it to you, and you didn’t know how to politely reject it. You nodded and Luke gave you another smile. It almost looked like part of him saw right through your façade, but you hoped his naivety would spare him from knowing how tumultuous your thoughts were recently.

“I’ll see you later, MC. Do your best in your classes. I prepared your favorites – with some help from Simeon and Barbatos, so please look forward to it.”

You tried to look forward to it, and you did your best in your classes – even though the best you could manage was sitting there and getting about half a page of notes down (hopefully about the most important parts of the lecture). You sort of lucked out that you had lectures today. Sitting there was already harder than you wanted it to be.

Luke was waiting right there in the hallway when you clawed your effort from the grasp of Diavolo’s education system. It was almost comical to see such a small angel carrying a rather large picnic basket. It looked like an overkill for a two-person picnic.

“Are the others joining us?” You asked with an ounce of dread. You had only mentally planned to spend time with Luke. Maybe you could handle Simeon and Barbatos – but even Solomon might be pushing it. If Lucifer could go without teasing Luke, you might have been okay with him, but Lucifer didn’t seem like he would be caught on a picnic with you and Luke on a weekday afternoon in the park.

“Nope, just us today. Why?”

“That basket is huge.” You didn’t really want to, but you felt you had to offer, “Should I carry that for you?”

“I had to use this picnic basket. Oh! But it’s not heavy. I can totally carry it on my own, so don’t you worry about it.”

Now that you were sitting in a quiet part of the park where the breeze was light and crisp, you felt like you could breathe a bit deeper. The Devildom was pretty when you thought about it – and you probably wouldn't have thought about it if not for Luke. He pulled out your favorite bread – one that Barbatos must have helped him bake – and that one dessert that Simeon made for you a few months ago. You didn’t even remember telling Luke that it was probably the best thing you had ever eaten. He was still pulling out food when you felt the guilt rise up again. Why did he put in so much effort?

Instead of drowning in the guilt, you tried to hold onto something. “Thank you, Luke. I don’t know what to say. This is so nice.”

“Do you know why I brought the big picnic basket today? It’s because I had to hide a present for you,” Luke admitted proudly.

“Luke.” Even for an angel, someone raised him to be too sweet.

“Close your eyes.” You did as he asked, waiting for a signal that came soon after. Luke said in sing-song, “ta-da.”

When you opened your eyes, he was holding out a bouquet of ten bright-yellow roses. The roses blurred as tears welled up. In your current state, you couldn’t remember what ten meant, but yellow was the unmistakable color of joy and friendship. It hadn’t occurred to you in a while how grateful you were for Luke’s friendship. The tears followed through on their threat, freely falling down your cheeks in the middle of the park.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized weakly. Luke tensed with panic, but he noticed that the corners of your lips kept turning up as if you were trying to smile, so he handed you a tissue and decided to say his piece.

“It’s okay, MC. You can cry if you want to. You’ve been having a hard time recently, right? I noticed – even though I think you didn’t want me to. And then, Mammon told me he heard you whisper something mean to yourself when you were alone in the library. I’m sorry that you’re not doing well. You’re my friend, right? So, I want you to rely on me, and maybe I can’t always cheer you up, but I had to do something. I want you to eat good food and enjoy the world – even if that world is the Devildom. Even if you don’t believe me, I think you’re perfect just as you are, and I want you to be happy.” Luke spoke without any of his usual embarrassment about being honest and affectionate. For a brief moment, you recalled some of the times you had been there for Luke. Yes, Luke was being kind to you in his own angelic way, but he was also holding up a mirror, reflecting your kindness back at you – a give and take that was not always even, but it was cherished. You were too busy crying to think of the right thing to say, but that was okay. Luke set the roses down and got closer. “Would you like a hug?”

You were far from cried-out, but you felt okay enough to wipe your eyes and try to enjoy this picnic to the best of your ability – even if you had drawn the attention of a few demons who were passing by. You stretched your arms out and grabbed Luke, pulling him close to you, much in the same way Satan did with street cats he befriended when they were being especially cute. With a small smile on your lips, you said, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you but if they had angel adoption papers, I would sign them right away.”

Luke wasn’t sure if you were trying to treat him like a son or a pet, but he would let it slide this time. “Well, if they had human adoption papers for angels, I would sign them too. And then I would be your guardian.”

Lucifer (1) | Mammon (2) | Leviathan (3) | Satan (4) | Asmodeus (5) | Beelzebub (6) | Belphegor (7) | Diavolo (8) | Barbatos (9) | Simeon (11) | Solomon (12) | Thirteen (13) | Raphael (14) | Mephistopheles (15)

[thedragonsfate]

FHJY thoughts under the cut bc I gotta sort my brain and can't be succinct to save my life

I think there's something interesting in acknowledge like

of COURSE Kipperlily underestimated the bad kids.

She's hated these kids from day 1. I know a lot of people want to acknowledge that it's not unreasonable for Kipperlily and the rat grinders to think the school is run unfairly (and you're right! it's a fair conclusion)

-- but we also gotta consider that this is something that took root in her VERY EARLY. Before the bad kids got really very good. Two bad kids die on the first day of school, they spend a significant amount of their second semester freshman year just. In Prison.

Of course what follows I'm sure spurs that hatred, but she all but declared Riz to be her nemesis with Jawbone freshman year.

She's probably got some good ideas of how stuff should change, but also she saw this random Goblin boy with a briefcase in rogue class and decided she Hates Him, for a reason none of us can fathom when several of the other bad kids give off worst first impressiona

She's a teenager, a kid, with anger issues. As much as their can be important nuggets at the core of her motives, she's a teenager without emotional regulation skills. That combination is BUILT to breed resentment and feelings of entitlement. and it's built to actively ignore any evidence of a different perspective.

We talk about how she doesn't understand them, takes Kristen as entirely uncaring, doesn't expect the bad kids to do so well in the Last Stand

and OF COURSE she doesn't. some of this because she of course is not privy to all of the bad kids interactions that we are as an audience. but a lot of it is probably because she's a teenager who's decided she's being slighted and as a result is never going to take the bad kids actions on good faith. she's doubled down and while I have a feeling she's extremely perceptive, she's also in an emotional place that means she probably is ACTIVELY ignoring any evidence to the fact that maybe the bad kids are just ALSO working very hard, and that the school itself may also work against them sometimes.

Add to that a god corrupted into rage (negative in this case) and conquest, and a nefarious faculty member as a potentially directly manipulative adult in her life trying to make something big and destructive happen. Kipperlily strikes me as the kind of person who knows she's smart, and knows she's clever, but is so blinded by her emotion that she is probably missing some of whats clearly in front of her as far as all the Jace business goes. She certainly is about the bad kids.

Jawbone can only do so much to help her in her sessions if he's being actively worked against. Emotional regulation is hard to learn from zero AS AN ADULT and she's probably coming from the negatives if my impression is correct, and is doing so as a teenager.

I guess what I'm trying to say is like

In a vacuum? Sure augeforts comment about trying being stupid or whatever does seem like another slap in the face for Kipperlily, one that justifies some of her feelings.

But not about the bad kids. and not to the extent she has taken them.

And to take that at its word feels weird to me because. To anybody paying attention? The bad kids are and have been trying SO SO hard in class. Them having to take the last stand in the FIRST place is specifically because the school system is treating Kristen unfairly DESPITE her best, GOOD efforts. I'm certain the rat grinders are on some level aware of Gorgugs EXTREMELY uphill battle with schoolwork this season, even if it's just Maryann catching part of a convo with Porter or Ruben hearing about it from his uncle. I HIGHLY doubt that Oisin was oblivious to the way that Adaines academics were affected by her not having the money for the correct materials - she still was able to excel mostly but the effects of that roll being at disadvantage for so long are still THERE. Jawbone pinned down and mentioned to Riz his similarities to Kipperlily within maybe 2 seconds - there is 0% chance he hasn't brought something similar up in Kipperlilys sessions. She may not like it, she may not have the emotional intelligence to see it this way, but his efforts almost certainly mirror hers in a way that makes them equally hard workers, absolutely determined to keep themselves afloat despite it being an uphill battle. Something that she feels she deserves to be rewarded for, and to an extent implies that if just a few circumstances were different she would be able to see equal value in his work.

And sure you can say she may be able to see that and be angry that their work is rewarded and hers isn't, but we see time and time again that she and her party don't always put that same level of work in? Mary Ann at blood rush, absolutely uncaring but doing well specifically because she's got some magical enhancements. The suspicious circumstances of Kipperlily finding the Rogue teacher. Even just the natural advantage of Oisin having more than the funds he needs to excel in wizard class.

But even regardless of that, she seems to refuse to see that any scenario in which others are praised for the same thing she's done, while she is ignored etc, is the sole responsibility of the school here. the bad kids are not her enemies in that fight - augefort is. The bad kids are not going around being consistently given advantages from the school, they're earning the things they get and hitting their own academic road blocks, and they aren't acting better than other people in a way that goes beyond like. Teen stuff. And yet her sights are trained so unblinking on them.

I can see Fabian and Kristen's popularity and personalities coming off like it supports that they're being treated better or feel some superiority. And it's teen stuff to quietly hate those ppl at your school! it's p normal!

But it always brings me back to her SPECIFICALLY hating Riz. Bc Riz isn't a rich kid throwing parties that everyone loves. Hes not sniping out comebacks the way Kristen does, sometimes without even thinking. In a lot of ways he's the/one of the least abrasive of the group to an outsider. Which makes me SO much more inclined to call bullshit that this is truly, honestly rooted in an acknowledgement of any of the REAL problems that come up with their school system.

It's complex, but I feel like we can't exalt their perspective as a Truth of the world like it seems some folks do when these characters themselves do not play fairly. What is fair about the way they interfered with the exam. What is fair about what she did so easily to Buddy Dawn. What is fair about the murder of the couple that owned that farm. Depending on what happened - what is fair from them about Lucy's murder. Certainly what is fair about their hand in Yolandas.

This idea that things are unfair isn't untrue. But not in the ways she thinks, and shes moved so far beyond that notion at this point. Kipperlily probably DOES believe that she's uniquely a victim of this system, or at least that everyone but the bad kids is. But she's moved so far beyond that. Whatever divine rage magic is involved has ensured that, as well as probably some Adult manipulation, and severely underdeveloped emotional regulation skills. and for me that means like. obviously she is unjustified in her actions.

Augefort is absolutely unhinged. his school has never been run in a manner that rewards buckling down in the classroom and the classroom only. It's an adventuring school in truly the most chaotic and violence rewarding sense, and that information is given freely by Arthur augefort at maybe any turn

Saw something about the theoretical being just as important as the practical. and yes! absolutely! a very good point that I'm glad was brought up - going to the classes is important and I think this season has really emphasized the ways in which that's true at least in terms of Staying in School and Honing your Skills

I do think, in the same breath, that that STILL means that the practical is ALSO just as important as the theoretical. It CAN'T be one or the other, it HAS to be both.

and the bad kids are DOING both. regardless of what it may count for, the rat grinders xp leveling by continuing to do freshman level combat in order to excel more on paper ISN'T them really doing the practical part of what theyre learning in their higher level classes. And the bad kids do not get credit for their saving of the world REGARDLESS. Not on its own merit, and to get the credit they'd have to jump a hefty academic bar that sort of invalidates the point of practical efforts in the first place, not to mention works against students like Fig and Kristen.

The school is actively rewarding Kipperlily and her party's cheat code practical use of their skills, over the bad kids putting just as much if not more effort into their LITERALLY WORLD SAVING missions. whatever favoritism shes seeing, or that there may be occasionally, Kipperlily fundamentally takes the bad kids in bad faith. It's not ABOUT what is ACTUALLY unfair to her at this point.

from her perspective every accolade or accomplishment from them HAS to come from favoritism in order to fit how her view of whats actually unfair has been warped. for her it doesn't MATTER that they've been trying because they MUST not be trying as hard as she is. it doesn't matter that they visibly saved the world three times, one of which was livestreamed and included several party members dropping, successfully because surely it's a fluke, or they were given better opportunities than others for no reason, or they're being falsely worshipped for what MUST be a less dangerous quest than it seems (despite us seeing clearly on the first day of school that nobody is putting a pedestal up for their night yorb win)

What could have been a justified spark of frustration with a system has shifted into a vengeful sense of entitlement that to me? fully abandons the good of wanting to change a school system actively working against some (/all?) students.

idk maybe this all sounds like jibberish I just

Kipperlily in her current state is INCAPABLE of not underestimating the bad kids bc that would require some acknowledgement that they have worked and bled and died to reach the level they're at.

You cannot separate the girl who sneaks in to the Last Stand to sabotage another party's chances of passing, of staying at school, of continuing school, of one of them from potentially keeping their god alive, and of being brought back from what she assumes is certain death - from the slighted teenager running for class president to make things "more fair"

you cannot separate the girl who easily slits her own party clerics throat without second thought from the girl who thinks she's been slighted by an unjust system

What she means by unfair is inherently colored by her being that same person

Augefort can say whatever nonsense he wants, and it doesn't really justify her current frustrations at this point because her version of fair is fundamentally unfair now.

Shes a child who's become corrupted, just like Buddy. but unlike him - she's become genuinely nefarious and vengeful. Unlike buddy she is actively plotting. Harming others with full knowledge of it. We don't know how much of it comes from her on her own, or the rage baking underground, or Stardiamonds direct involvement - but I think this most recent episode should make it clear that like

Whatever truth there is to the school being run in a way that is unfair to its students, and regardless of what she says or thinks

Kipperlily Copperkettle is not operating from that grounded perspective. and I don't think she has been for a long time

[dancedancedie]

Tbh I think I would hate to live in the wizardry world as a muggle born

Like tf you mean there’s no normal sweets flavour and the only sport you can play is with fucking flying metal balls that specifically target you, with an injury rate that’s probably thru the roof

Then there’s not even one school for every country so my 11 year old ass would have to speak a language I’ve maybe never learned forever

And then the classes omg don’t get me started on them

The whole boggard thing??? Pretty sure it’s not very pedagogically correct to let every kid see the greatest fear of the others. Combined with the incredible hostility between houses (that gets fostered by the teachers) this is a peak bullying opportunity.

And they don’t even learn spelling or maths or literally any physics

Just because you can do magic doesn’t mean physics don’t exist

And muggle studies is a voluntary subject which is super stupid considering that the wizards still have to live under muggles sometimes

In addition to that you have to write with a quill. Everybody who has ever written with a quill knows that it’s messy and a lengthy process, especially for kids. Like they didn’t even invent pens or something? Kill me now how am I supposed to get into any work flow like this

[barid-bel-medar]

tropes- how do you feel about Trope soup, where a fic has multiple tropes that combine a lot of different stuff into either making a good or bad story?

Like for example, a dead Inko would lead for Izuku to temporarily angst then recover from it with the support of his friends and teachers, forcing the latter to step in and be a responsible authority instead of doing nothing. Conversely, a dead Inko with Izuku experiencing OOC moments, OOCness and bashing from characters who don’t deserve it, unjustified Dadzawa, the Bakusquad are better friends than the Dekusquad etc.

I feel like the moment you start writing to many what ifs, you lose sight of the original idea of what mha is and the scope of the story you’re writing. Your stories are based off of one change of a nail and how it results in butterfly effects that justify stuff like Bakugo receives Consequences(usually this isn’t used enough in general), but you keep the original idea of who these characters are and what they represent. Stories like Suspected Traitor Izuku lose sight of the original idea just for the wangst and add in so much tropes in the form of bashing the characters that Izuku gets along with.

Part of the issue with trope soup in general is writers missing the difference between tropes and themes. You overdose on tropes and it can drag down a work since it's just flat out doing too much. Say if you do do dead Inko! Actually look very in depth on how this would effect Izuku. Don't use it as a lazy means of having someone adopt him. Hell, even if the focus is to be on adoption, look at the why the person decided to do so, how Izuku is handling both that and Inko's death, and how things would ripple from there.

Yes I use specific tropes. Yes I literally have multiple TV Tropes pages. However, after the Nail I generally also am trying to look at themes and the ripple effects. A lot of the Sticks and Stones verse in reality is why, you well, have to think before you speak. Why you *can't* be careless (there's a reason part of the summary of WMH is 'loose lips sink ships and carelessness will drown you') or assume just because you think something, doesn't mean people will agree with you (Tensei, Bakugou, Aizawa). Sticks and Stones is going to look at the value of PR in heroics, and also the idea of breaking and making new legacies. And well, actions have consequences. I think Hori really does drop the ball there in canon. Why if you do all of this, how it'll ripple. Characters may get involved sooner. Groups may get involved sooner (like here with the HPSC; they're arguably the best group to actually look at UA's issues as a school which are very much there).

I will be blunt. Certain major arcs? Gonna be very different as a result of the events of TBYS. We may still see 'In Spite of a Nail' situations (like Shigaraki basically clocking in on Bakugou like he does in canon, but in this case for a much more logical reason), but not as much as you may think.

I really fucking hate it when you do a For Want of a Nail and then closely follow stations of canon. Don't do that. A lot of times it doesn't even make sense. It's honestly just lazy writing. Do I get why authors do it? Yes. Do I think they necessarily should? No.

In Words May Hurt I did still have the LOV attempt to attack at USJ. However the actually USJ incident doesn't happen because as a result of the events of TBYS the class is canceled. Shigaraki does still have an interest in Bakugou, as I've noted, but he doesn't actually know which student he is right now. He just knows one of the heroics students used basically lethal force and views that as a good potential recruit. As is very clear, Stain is still going to attack Tensei, however his *reasoning* is very different (and tbh avoids being whatever weird troll logic he used in canon).

I will confess certain stages of canon aren't avoidable. The Sports Festival literally has to happen, it's part of the scheduled school year events. USJ can be skipped however since class cancellations happen for various reasons including a sick teacher. Training camp can be canceled if UA decides the potential risk is too high. I'd argue Kamino or an equivalent can't be avoided (All Might does need to go out in some form of blaze of glory/we do need AFO out of the way for a while for LOV progression). You don't however need to have the same reason for Kamino to happen.

So. Um. Yeah not terribly fond of trope soup since a lot of time it's more authors wanting to shove as many tropes as they can in a fic and not necessarily thinking it through, or realizing there's a difference between trope and theme.

[rivangel]

mmm rant about how much i despise my brit lit professor (because 2 posts wasn’t enough i guess)

-like i’ve said, just to give u an idea of what he’s like and because i’m lame, he’s like if eren and floch’s personalities combined but with extra intelligence

- on the FIRST day of class he ranted about how much he HATES cats. and sort of gave a weird example about how dumb and useless cats are??? alright KEEP your opinion but KEEP your ugly yapping out of my ears

i rly don’t care if someone doesn’t like cats. but to proclaim loudly and proudly how much you hate them is a big red flag idc

- i’m uncomfortable every single class because of how sexual his lectures are. i mean it’s INSANELY uncomfortable. sexual themes or sex in a literary work is one thing but he gets into the details at length and it’s just…

- the type of guy who would say facts don’t care about your feelings and he’s defending nationalism or something equally as objectively Bad

- for maybe 2 seconds it looks like there’s a guiding light of grace when he talks about procreation not being inherently sexual and how it’s beautiful - only to follow up with really weird tangents with really gross implications.

like the time he implied that he envies crusty old men of the past who could buy girl child brides ????

- this condescending asshole

he reminds me of those jock type high school boys who always played “devil’s advocate” in history class. simply CANT resist talking down to us as a class any chance he gets, including and especially in the directions to assignments and the fucking SYLLABUS

- this would be a long explanation if i drag it out, but long story short this guy’s class is as far across campus as it gets from my previous class. it’ll take me 15min at LEAST to get there, and there’s only 10min between each class

will he tolerate being 5minutes late because of these circumstances? NO. and it’s disrespectful if you even THINK about it

- the emotional intelligence of the bloody rock cain killed abel with honestly

- normally i appreciate unconventional crass professors who are casual in class. but it’s like i’m being rambled at for over an hour by a 14 year old hick on viagra who happens to have a phd.

- i’ve also talked about this, but has absolutely no respect or regard for any student in his class or their potential disabilities or life struggles and circumstances. just assumes you’re on the exact same page as him and will blindly get on your knees and lick his shoes as long as he (1) condescendingly explains that it’s intellectually appropriate and (2) after giving a 40 minutes lecture about shoe licking with softcore pron sprinkled throughout

- specifically, he made a brief mention how for next class, he “probably won’t be there”. next class was four days later. no email reminder. he expected you to remember - which is hard for me as someone with diagnoses that make me suffer from bad memory retention and memory loss. obviously i didn’t remember (as well as some others).

that next class: he wasted 15 minutes of class gloating about his motorcycle and didn’t take attendance. and for THIS guy, it was on purpose.

- i hate him

- if you want to feel just as bad about yourself as you in your darkest moments do, just ace one of his tests.

[journalofsorts2]

i feel like the overfilling cup metaphor is really good for overstimulation. only i didn't really know the cup was overflowing, and i didn't even realize there was anything in the cup, i barely even knew there was a cup at all. i just don't get it. why does this keep happening to me? why do i keep getting so worked up over nothing? why do i keep losing my words? why does everything become too much? i don't get it. why is it that the combination of me having to use the bathroom right after someone else (i think i have contamination ocd but that's a post for another time) and the blender starting so brutal for me? why can't i just be normal? why can i go in a busy store perfectly fine one day, but then the next my dad's car feels too dirty and the lights are too bright and everyone's too loud and people are getting too close to me and i just don't understand it. why does my body have to betray me every time as well? when things bug me, usually i just keep it in and everyone's happy and i'm finally not annoying, but then too many things bug me and i can't help but clenching my fists as tight as i can to stop whatever is happening to me, but the moment i open my mouth tears come rolling down my cheeks. it's not fair. normal people can handle school. normal people can handle the store, normal people can handle public places. but for me i have to gamble whether or not i'm going to have a meltdown in the bathroom, or worse, start silently crying in front of other people hoping they don't notice but being sad when nobody notices.

i remember, one time in elementary school, we were going on this field trip to this like mini kid society, it had like stores and a local government and kids filled all the positions and we interviewed for them before hand and it was really fun or something. but the interviews were one on one for all the positions except president. there were 3 people campaigning to be president. i don't remember the third person, but one was a really close friend of mine from another class, and the other was this goodie two shoes shithead who everyone adored for some reason even though they were a fucking asshole. anyways, my friend got super nervous during their speech and ended up sitting on the floor with people huddled around them as they read theirs. and i remember feeling super fucking bad for her. and then each class went back to their room and my teacher (who i adore, she's amazing and i actually had a personal connection with her prior to being in her class) was trying to hype up the shithead from our class. and i remember she like talked shit about my friend and was like 'how can they be president?' and i felt so bad for my friend and i made sure i never told her my teacher talked bad about her. because she was brave, she was brave for getting up in front of everyone and giving the speech. she was brave, even if others didn't see it that way. and i remember i was already going to vote for her, but i did it also out of spite. to spite anyone who thought those mean things about her. she didn't end up winning but it was the effort that mattered. and she tried so fucking hard in that election. and i was so proud of her. i don't know what that story had to do with overstimulation but recalling it helped calm me down.

it just sucks knowing there's people who think bad about people you care about y'know? i wish someone would protect me from the bad things people say. i wish i never had to hear the things people say about me. i didn't say negative things because they're all negative. when i was little i liked listening in on my parents arguing (they did it a lot) and i would follow every word they said until they stopped or got quiet enough i couldn't hear. sometimes they weren't even arguing and i would listen in. adult business interested me. but you wouldn't believe the amount of times i overheard them talking about me. more specifically my mom. god she fucking hated me. i mean, she still does but whatever. but i wish i could go back to little me and hold them. i wish i could be there hugging them when they had to cry quietly so they didn't miss out on whatever other insults my mom had. i wish i could hold them when they cry as loud as they can, hoping someone would hear and comfort them. i wish i could wipe their tears when they realize people can hear them crying, they just don't care enough to help out. i wish i could crush them with a hug when they're in bed at night, crying with their hand over their mouth, trying not to disturb their two sisters in the room. i wish i could hold their hand and play with them when they sat alone at recess because everyone had better things to do and got sick of them following around. i wish i had a better childhood. i wish i didn't grow up in this house. i wish someone gave a shit about me growing up. idk man, i need to go to bed and this post has given me enough to cry myself to sleep with. rant over

[eveningscoolandquiet]

Coming back to this to talk seriously about how much Ghost means to me, this is gonna be a LONG one. Content warning: discussion of religious trauma, kinda venty in parts but it’s all old news I am safe and fine I promise 🫶🏻

I was raised by emotionally abusive parents in a very toxic conservative Christian community. I want to make it clear this was not a cult, my family was Christian and I attended a school that was Christian and we lived in a geographically isolated small town. The combination of these things resulted in an environment for me growing up that I think had a similar impact to me that growing up in cults does to cult survivors but it was NOT a cult and that is an important distinction.

From the time I was born up until I was 12 years old and starting high school (I’m Australian) there was essentially no part of my life that was separate from religion. From Christianity specifically. I did not have a single meaningful conversation with a non-Christian for the first dozen years of my life and as such I considered myself a devout Christian. Not just considered; I was. More often than not I’d be the one getting out of bed Sunday morning telling my parents we had to get ready for church and being upset if we didn’t go. I knew my scripture. I followed the rules. Heck I was even school captain of my extremely religious primary school.

I was also miserable. I cannot recall a single joyful memory from those years of my life. I’m sure they existed somewhere, just too fleeting to make a lasting impression. What I do remember is the constant feelings of guilt, shame and fear that haunted me constantly. Because I was terrified everything I did wouldn’t be enough. That I’d go to hell because I was a smart kid, because I had trouble trusting authority figures, because I couldn’t “trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding”. I desperately wanted to! But how is a child supposed to have absolute faith in an unknown being in the sky when they’re constantly punished for having faith in the adults they know around them?

So I was a devout Christian, but I was bad at it. How did I compensate for that? By doubling down. I’d parrot whatever weird conservative talking points my relatives spouted so long as they had backed it up with scripture. I started spending my Friday nights at a youth Bible study group that my friends who had much more positive feelings about our shared religion invited me to (spoiler: I hated it, and the people that ran it were creepy). Yet I would avoid ever having to publicly display my faith, when the other school captain and I gave speeches at assemblies I specifically made sure he would read the prayer section, just in case someone somehow heard my words shake and started accusing me of what my brain constantly did: that it wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t love God enough.

And when my parents decided that I would change schools for high school rather than going straight on to the senior school at the same campus? I was terrified. I remember crying, hugging my friend and asking if she thought me going to a different school would change my personality or my religious views. She said maybe to personality but definitely not to religion. She got it completely backwards.

So I started at a new school and was pretty much immediately the weird religious kid. There were other Christians in the school, it was still a Christian school, but it was just one aspect of their lives rather than their Entire Life. We sung hymns, we said the Lord’s Prayer in assembly and Grace at meals, we had communion each term but there was no mandatory religion class, you could opt out of taking communion without anyone harassing you for it, no one would snitch on you for not saying a prayer. Atheists and agnostics could openly state their belief without being persecuted for it. It was all so fucking new to me.

Pretty quickly I realized that the picture that had been painted for me of what life without God is like and the way “worldly” people act was completely at odds with reality. When I was 13 I remember asking one of the youth leaders at the Friday Bible study (some poor unpaid 17yo) how there could be good people who aren’t Christian and bad people who are. She was not equipped to answer that question. Shortly after that I stopped going to Bible study.

By the time I was 14 I stopped identifying as Christian (I also realized I was queer which added a whole other dimension to things). And by the time I was 15 I told my parents I no longer wanted to go to church. They threatened to kick me out. So I kept going to church against my will. I was swiftly ostracized by the leaders of said church, told I was being cruel and yelled at for the ‘stress I was causing my mother’. All for having a difference in belief that (at this point) I had not even begun to actually vocalize, I had simply asked to no longer attend church.

I kept attending church until I was 18 when my parents felt they couldn’t ‘reasonably’ force me anymore. I also came out to them around this same time (conversion therapy is legal in my state so I was not willing to take that risk by coming out earlier), which went as well as I could have hoped for, so not very but I wasn’t kicked out.

Context over let’s talk about Ghost. I found Ghost in 2020 in perhaps the most bizarre, niche way possible. A YouTube fanimatic for the graphic novel The Arcana (you can watch it here). I had already done a lot of deconstructing the worldview and belief system I had been indoctrinated into and was fairly comfortable identifying as pagan (which I still do), even if it wasn’t exactly public knowledge. I went through Ghost’s discography and absolutely adored it but remained a pretty casual listener for years until my ritual in October 2023.

Oh boy. My friend and I had run late and arrived literally as Imperium was playing. We were at the very back of the mosh pit and could not see a damn thing. And it was one of the best nights of my life. The first half of the concert went by fairly uneventfully (which is to say extremely eventfully, it was so fucking fantastic) and then it got to He Is and something in my head just clicked.

I had already made the connection before this point that part of my love for Ghost stemmed from emotional catharsis at its similarity yet juxtaposition to the Christian Rock songs I grew up with and now can’t hear without feeling nauseous. But in that moment, in a crowded, sweaty arena lit up by phone lights, I realized that THIS was the feeling of joy in praise and in community that I had missed out on all those years. I might not be a Satanist but goddamn if “He’s the shining and the light without whom I cannot see, and He is insurrection, He is spite, He’s the force that made me be” didn’t feel like something I myself had written.

Ghost/TF manages so powerfully to put into words the thoughts and feelings that I have never been able to eloquently express. Their music gives me so much comfort and solace and makes me feel seen and understood in a way I never have before. Whether it’s their tracks that are pretty overtly critical of organized religion/Christianity (e.g. Cirice, Idolatrine, Spillways, Griftwood) or their more lighthearted songs that subvert Christian rhetoric (e.g. Satan Prayer, “I am the way” in Jigolo Har Megiddo), they all help me process externally what I’ve gotten very used to ruminating over painfully internally. I am endlessly grateful to Ghost/TF for that.

I am ALSO endlessly grateful to the fandom on here. While I’m typically a chronic lurker I am constantly amazed by the compassion and empathy present in this community (as well as the constant high-caliber of art and fanfic here). It feels silly to say but seeing people genuinely love and celebrate these characters with traits I’m used to seeing vilified is actually really therapeutic and reassuring. You’re all wonderful and I’m so glad you’re here.

If anyone actually reads this long-ass spiel: thank you, I love you. And if anyone relates to my experience remember “you will never walk alone”, you’re doing amazing, we’ve got this 💞

I‘m tired of the negativity Ghost fandom. I think you should reblog this post and add something to the tags that you love about Ghost, about the fandom itself or about the works of the person you reblogged it from ♡

[seams-unusualbc]

I wrote this like 20 years ago and it shows, but I still basically stand by it

::::::::::::::::

Around the time that I started watching The Phantom Reviewer on YouTube (and toying with a silly idea for a farce-parody Phantom comic of my own…) I peered briefly into the depths of Phan Fiction to be had.  

I was astounded.  Not only at how much there is but also at how varied AND–most importantly–how well-received.

I mean, the people who are into this stuff are into it!

And I feel like I stumbled on a reason why…

ALL of these artists/storytellers and readers know the same information about these characters!  They all KNOW the samepeople!  A storyteller spins a tale about Edward Cullen or Long John Silver (or better yet: a crossoer where they run into Mr. Sulu from Star Trek) and the readers GET IT.  

The same as how a tribal storyteller or Shaman might tell a new story (or alter the old) about characters he and his audience knows.  This is to keep them amused, and to keep them LISTENING.  He might tell a story… instead of how Raven Stole The Sun–somehting everyone would have known already– he might get everyone excited about a brand ew story about how Raven Got in Big TimeTrouble When He Slept With the Wife of…..well, whoever.

Fan Fiction.  

Same.  Fucking.  THING.  

I had this idea (which lasted about 2 and ½ days) that I might return to school as a Sociology Major and my thesis would be about Fanfiction filling the role that was once filled by storytelling myth is society!  

(Mary Sues are Shamans!  ZOMG!)

(Something like that)

Likewise, people in history, and even living celebrities have been drawn into this pantheon.  That’s nothing new: the Romans and Egyptians made their own, living leaders deities all the time.  Nowadays, there’s fanfiction–both realistic and silly– about the likes of Benjamin Franklin, Queen Victoria, Mozart and Leonardo DaVinci.  There are fanfictions about people who are *alive*… Elijah Wood or President Obama!  

And–in truth– whenever you imagine (or, for that matter, dream) about a famous person that you know something of but you are not personal with… you are creating a little myth about them.  Your imagination fills in all the details that that you cannot possibly know.  

Now!  Suppose you were to actually *meet* a famous person on a regular basis and get to know him as a regular guy: talk about your kids or the fellow at work that annoys you or whatever.  He would cease to be a myth.  This I hypothesize: As the pockets and blank spaces that your imagination had to fill become filled with facts, memories or realities about that other person, that person changes status from being a myth.  

In Julie and Julia, the author talks a length about the Julia Childs that lives in her head–whom she met through the cookbooks– AND how she’s (specifically!) different from the Real Julia Childs, who was barely alive by the time Julie wrote her blog.  

The Mythic Julia–the combined effort of Julia herself and the imaginations of the pubic that loved or hated her–was the one Julie had connected with.  The mythic Julia was much more useful to her, AND –I would argue– every bit as real.  

So!  

I got this idea that its pretty much impossible to ever know history as a reality and its always a myth because (!) youre always getting someone’s re-telling of events that (for the most part) they weren’t around for.  

If there’s one thing I take from my Myth Class at PCC, it will be the that in the section on Creation Myths, my instructor–in her wisdom!– included the big bang theory.  

When questioned, she explained that the definition about an origins myth is, A Story that a people tells to itself about where it came from based on the best evidence that it has on hand… even though no one from that society was there!  

which includes the big bang theory.  

Which.  Is.  AWESOME.  

But after thinking about it, all history is like this.  Ancient history is written based on scavenged paragraphs from one or two individuals.  One or two perspectives on an ENTIRE civilization can’t possibly approach the truth.  

But then one gets to thinking about the later histories….. the settlers and the natives or the Catholic Church and the villagers in the hillsides or anytime there is one force that comes in to prey on another…  They’re all incomplete!  As many historians have bewailed in the past: It’s the winners of the battle who write the books! (Which is why it’s so important to listen to and believe the victims)

History is MYTH!  

Relative myth, I would assume for the conveniences of living on Planet Earth… but a myth none-the-less!  

So.  I’m walking and thinking on the train tracks by the crossroads and am thinking of this when I briefly remember one of the vignettes from Waking Life.  One that always bothered me because I felt like they never got a chance to explain the whole thing and it was poorly edited.  anyway.  the scene.  

(Which… I can’t find on YouTube…..  Lame)  

Um, its these two women having coffee and one of them says:

“You know that thing Benedict Anderson says about identity?  Well, he’s talking about like, say, a baby picture.

So you pick up this picture, this two-dimensional image, and you say, ‘That’s me’.  Well, to connect this baby in this weird little image… with yourself living and breathing in the present, you have to make up a story like, 'This was me when I was a year old, "and later I had long hair, and then we moved to Riverdale, and now here I am.’”

“So it takes a story that’s actually a fiction… to make you and the baby in the picture identical to create your identity.”  

I always thought they rushed through that part, but I kinda feel like i got it now.  

Fist off, I *realize* that I’m speaking as someone who has a (ahem!) “special” memory… But.  Even for people who remember normally, memory cannot be as true as what we LIVE and EXPERIENCE in the present!  If this is not so, then how about when memories fail us?  How does pain fade over time?  How do we forget?

Our imaginations fill in the details (for some of us more than others, I will admit) and –in effect!– our memories fill a mythic role!  

Because OUR memories cannot be right

NOW

NOW

*NOW!*

And *Now*–within yourself– is the only certain truth.  

[norangeyyy]

Late Night HCs

Bucci Gang Edition

TW: nothing too extreme, just a little bit of hurt/comfort stuff sprinkled right here and there.

Bruno Bucciarati

► Bucciarati typically doesn't stay up late at night, he has work and would squeeze all the amount of sleep he can get on his free time.

► Unless he has a lot of things in mind.

► It doesn't matter whether it's a work-related problem, his past, a random thought, or just generally his worries about his future. It will keep him up.

► He'll definitely need someone to be an outlet but if no one's available, he'll just stare at the night sky and distract himself with the moving clouds or finish some of his work until he's too tired to think of anything.

► If you happen to be in the same situation and same place that night though, then make sure that you take care of the trust he has for you when he was at most vulnerable and he will do same with you.

► I personally headcannon Bucciarati to be the type to like those kind of conversations since i highly doubt that he has been so vulnerable in front of anyone besides Abbachio ever since he joined the mafia.

► And even then, he's mostly the one who lifts the spirits up and not the other way around since he's the leader.

► So expect to hear things and words you wouldn't expect to come from the Bucciarati you see everyday come spilling out of his mouth, it'll be a lot.

► Pat his back or better yet, give him a hug and brush his hair while doing so. He needs it a lot since he hasn't really got one after his family fell apart.

► "I feel so much better now, thank you. I'll make sure not to forget about this night. "

Leone Abbachio

► The night owl of the gang.

► Staying up until 3AM is nothing new to this man, hell, he could even go on a whole day without sleep if he has a lot of things that's bothering him.

► He's the opposite of Bucciarati, he prefers to shoulder his intrusive thoughts alone. It'd take some great amount of effort and trust to make him talk and let it out.

► What he does during those times is either using his stand to replay certain memories that could either worsen his guilt or put him at ease, or just drink until he passes out but most of the time, he does both.

► He could also be listening to some music while he does so but if he's feeling guilty for making Bucciarati concerned about his frequent drinking, then he'll just listen to music and hope that he'll fall asleep and not just keep his eyes closed until the sun rises.

► It works, kind of, but even without alcohol driving him to sleep, he'll always be tired. His sleeping schedule is seriously messed up because he never really cared about it in the first place.

► Would sometimes go out for a walk. Leone is fond of the city's peacefulness when everyone is asleep, with the only thing keeping him accompany is the cold air and the dim light of the lampposts.

► Secretly still has his police uniform and would occasionally take it out just to stare at it or talk to it in a not-so-kind of way as he sees his younger self in it.

► Gets dragged in whatever shit Narancia and the others are up to if he gets spotted. Mostly it's just for a movie night behind Bucciarati's back but Abbachio knows better and expects the unexpected when it comes to the gang.

► Knows what everyone does in late night if they're still up and has seen a lot of ungodly sights.

► Whether it be seeing a sleepy Mista and the pistols chanting a weird prayer to a bowl of cereals or Fugo being dragged out of his room by Narancia, Leone knows it.

Pannacotta Fugo

► Just like Bucciarati, Fugo rarely stays up late at night and if he does, it's usually just because he's busy.

► Fugo has hobbies like painting and reading, everyone in the gang knows that. It's just that he gets carried way too far sometimes and loses track of time.

► Who could blame him though when the book he's reading is just too interesting or the painting he's currently working on is almost done, right?

► On extremely rare occasions where something unpleasant enough to keep Fugo up at night happens, he'll bundle himself in his fluffy blanket like a butterfly in its cocoon.

► He always does this back when he's still living with his parents, it makes him feel safe from anything that's haunting him.

► And if it's neither his hobbies or problems that's keeping him up, he'll just hear Narancia whispering outside his door or Mista throwing pebbles at his window.

► For the first few times the duo did this, Fugo was still able to resist until he just can't anymore knowing that they wouldn't leave him alone all night.

► "Well, this isn't so bad. "

► He says as he enthusiastically tosses a popcorn into his mouth with his eyes glued all over the lit screen of the TV.

► Movie nights, along with sneaking out to go the nearest convenience store, became a common thing between the Torture Dance Trio™ ever since then.

Narancia Ghirga

► The type to wake up in the middle of the night and think "Hmm... Everyone's asleep, let's commit robbery tonight!"

► Fugo's sleep paralysis demon.

► Would literally not hesitate to steal chocolate bars with Mista and probably does 3AM challenges with him too.

► Never runs out of ideas to keep himself up at night and is the one who comes up with everything but what he does still depends on his mood.

► If Narancia's feeling a little too lazy then he'll just sleep and most of the time, with music keeping him accompany. But unlike Abbachio, he purposely doesn't wear headphones just to annoy Fugo whose room is right next to his.

► If he's feeling like it, he'll straight up just invite the others to watch a movie or play videogames even though Bruno has already made it clear not to use the TV after 11PM.

► But just as he likes staying up at night doing crazy things with the boys, he also uses his energy left and free time to self-study, as surprising that may sound.

► He may hate reading but he takes advantage of the fact that his brain is much active at night and he doesn't want to depend on Fugo too much. After all, he dreams on going back to school and he's more than willing to be capable enough to do so alone and pass without the other teen's help.

► Will cuddle anything that's near him while he studies but if you give him a plushie, it'll be instantly his favorite and he would definitely use it as a study buddy.

Guido Mista

► Alright, let's be honest here, this dude wouldn't even stay up if it weren't for his bros.

► 5 seconds lying on the bed and he's already knocked out for a good 10 hours if there's no work he has to do for the day. Make it 8 at weekdays thanks to his mafia-related responsibilities.

► He sleeps like a log so only a combination of shaking him up awake with Fugo and Narancia can make him rise from what seems like a two year coma but is really just a normal tuesday night.

► Will pretty much join Narancia at anything he does but since his last three brain cells are obviously still as half asleep as him, he won't be able to remember that much the next day.

► And once he's out of the room and is already sitting on the couch with the guys, Mista's the type to fall asleep halfway through the movie.

► You can't blame him though, it's 12AM and it seems that Fugo got to choose what movie they'll watch since Narancia already got to choose the other night.

► Unless they're playing videogames or are going out then he won't be acting like a slow ass PVZ zombie with a fried brain. Actually, he'll be hella active if that's the case.

► Active at grabbing every snack each second, that is.

► Actually, it's the pistols who does that but oh well, it's not like Mista's innocent too.

► "I swear it's not me who ate all of our groceries for this month! Right, guys?! It's the pistols! "

► And that, everyone, is how Guido blew their little rendezvous without even trying.

Giorno Giovanna

► There's not much to be said about this boy since just like Mista, Giorno goes to bed early as he makes sure he still gets the proper amount of sleep.

► He already has a lot of things to deal with at day so of course, by the end of it, he'll be exhausted.

► Nights before exams are excluded because although he may seem like he skips class sometimes, Giorno still knows his priorities.

► Only when he became the head of the mafia did he really started to lose sleep as great power comes with great responsibilities.

► It took a LONG time for Giorno to adjust to a lot of things cause come on, he maybe resilient but he's still a 15 year old teen.

► Not only does he have towers after towers of work but i like to imagine that he still continued his education and used some of the things he learns in class in the mafia, specifically in classes like history or geography class since as a boss, he has to know every nook and cranny of Italy.

► Not to mention that emergencies happen and he always has to be ready to give out orders, even if it means being woken up at 1AM.

► God, help this child because all the things mentioned above are just an understatement of what happens on the first few months of being in charge of Passione.

► "So this is why Diavolo looks like he's about to explode whenever something goes wrong huh. "

[engiiiiiii]

Name? I have people irl that might find this account, so I'll unfortunately have to pass 😥

Pronouns and gender? He/him, male, but I really don't care. Have fun with it I guess? I dont conform to any specific gender roles.

Sexuality? Pansexual.

Country? Australia.

Top 5 fandoms? I hate a lot of fandoms, but I guess gaga fans tend to be cool, kesha fans also seem to be nice. For games... oneshot's fans are very cool, obvious mention to celeste, and maybe hollow knight to round it off. Tbf I dont really mingle with many fandoms.

What is your most forbidden snack? Seatbelts. Loved them as a kid, although maybe lego tires are better.

Would you pet a bug? I have so many hours in hollow knight, of course I would.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself for the class. Honestly if this wasn't Tumblr this would be far easier to answer... I excell in both maths and music? I also brought an aesops fables book to school, and tried to teach morals to everybody... but I really dont want to talk about that one.

What does the color blue taste like? blueberry. or dye I guess.

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? I've gone through plenty of rainforests, and they're always the most beautiful thing ever. Dense, foggy, atmospheric... always with a cool waterfall at the end...

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? The real question is where do I even start? Breaking my bow in half? Breaking my 3DS? Only one of them was really my fault, but still!!! I have done a lot of stupid things!!!

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? Anytime someone says something bigoted - which is 90% of the time irl.

Hyperfixation song? Get back - britney spears. Such a good song. Or maybe world end dancehall, etc etc... I have a lot of songs I listen to excessively.

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or your username? Engi comes from engine redone - a pretentious name honestly. Engi sounds cuter so I picked it. Without realising that it is a common shortening of Engineer. Big mistame. My pfp is also just funny.

Dream career as a child? Inventor. Watched too much cloudy with a chance of meatballs and a bit too much astro boy too. Is that a bad thing though?

Dream career as an adult? Idk. Ask me in 10 years. Maybe being a musician? Maybe something mathematical? I honestly am lost for ideas.

Thoughts on cilantro? Never tried it by itself. My mum doesn't like it, so it's never used in cooking, and therefore I've never even tried it. Am I even missing out though?

Have you ever been banned from a location, and if so, why? Thankfully not.

What is your most cursed food combination? Vegimite and pancakes. I love it but whenever I talk about it with people who dont know it they instantly think it's disgusting. Savoury, salty, and a bit sweet. It's good!!! Trust me!!!!!!

Trans rights? Yeah :3 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

Btw this post was a pain to write but worth it.

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[afraidparade]

What was Both Theo's And Luka's Childhood like? What's their relationship with their family? Do the two have any past regrets?

luka:

luka's childhood was basically your average "gifted kid burnout" origins lolol. he's always been really quiet and antisocial, though in being extremely clever he was always put in advanced classes and pressured into essentially devoting his life to academics. that combination gave his peers the impression that luka thought he was better than everyone else and resulted in him being even more isolated. eventually he began purposefully failing out of classes just to escape the pressure to succeed, but all that really did was cause turmoil with his parents and isolate him even further.

luka basically moved out as soon as he reached adulthood, and rarely keeps in touch with his parents. he's an only child, so he has no siblings to reach out to, either. he doesn't particularly resent his family, as they never outright abused him, but he doesn't feel a particularly strong bond with them, either. as bleak as it is, he's pretty indifferent towards his family.

as for regrets, he's unsure if he could pinpoint one specific moment. making more friends would require being more outgoing, and he doesn't particularly want to change who he is. staying in school would've maintained his relationship with his parents, but he would also mean sacrificing his own mental health. he doesn't necessarily have specific regrets, but has definitely had "if only i hadn't been born" thoughts.

theo:

theo's childhood was abnormal in just about every way. he grew up on an enormous property with a very prosperous family, due to his famed lineage (for those who aren't aware, theo's family are a sort of exorcist clan that have been around for generations). his parents, of course, intended to raise theo traditionally along with his siblings, but theo hated the idea of having to be caught up in all that supernatural nonsense. he skipped his training every chance he got, convinced from his own encounters that spirits never posed a real threat as much as they were just annoying, and eventually convinced his family to let him live abroad with close family friends that had no supernatural abilities. he maintained the power to see and interact with ghosts, but got very proficient in ignoring their existence and maintained a fairly normal life from then on.

although theo cut off exorcism from his life as much as he could, he still loves his family and has a good relationship with them. they worry about him being alone in the world without proper training and do frequently remind him it's not too late to change his mind, but he always turns them down. though, since theo accidentally released the seal on a spirit so powerful it took multiple of the family's best exorcists to contain, and is now stuck with said spirit following him around...let's just say he's been dodging familial communication as much as he can.

theo of course regrets breaking pazu's seal more than anything, but also the fact that he didn't retain anything from his childhood lessons that may help in banishing the pesky spirit.

[elysianslove]

hi eli bby !! its me vio again shhshf

i loved ur vball player crush hcs w miya twins && suna and can i have that too w sakusa, semi && shirabu ? MY UNDERRATED BOYS CRIES SM <//3 thank u sm <33

hiiiii my love!!! tysm for requesting these boys i love them so much. i hope you like this lysm <3

sakusa kiyoomi 

considering what i’ve seen in the anime, and some manga panels, i really don’t think omi’s a peoples person. so even in school, i doubt he was very involved with other students, and probably kept to himself 

he’s also hyper-aware of his surroundings constantly, including the people around him, so the fact that he noticed you wasn’t a shock

it’s that he noticed you, and then he couldn’t stop thinking about you

probably had some dream about you that same night that cursed him with a crush on you yk the dreams i’m talking about right? 

he still continues to keep to himself, and whenever he spots you from his peripheral vision he just dashes out of there. he realizes that forcing himself to act normally around you might actually improve his situation and help him get over whatever this stupid crush was but he was not taking any chances

he also knew nothing about you, just your last name! 

so anyways both the boys and girls vbc’s are heading the same school, so they got one bus for the both of you and combined them. 

because his general dislike for crowds, omi usually sits out in the front, especially because the door to the bus is right next to him. idk he just seems like the kind to map out an escape plan for every room/vehicle he enters i don’t have a reason why i think so

the game was happening on a weekend, really early, like way too early, so it wasn’t a surprise that you were tired. it’s an unspoken rule that those who sit in the back make a lotta noise and all that, so you opted for the front seats instead to at least try and rest a bit before the game

you don’t sit directly next to him, but there’s only an aisle separating the two of you

because, yk, manners, you give him a small smile before saying, “good morning!” and settling in your seat, your bag between your legs

omi on god freezes up lmfao

he doesn’t mean to sound so rude but it just comes out that way! he says something along the lines of “what are you doing here?” and immediately regrets it after it leaves his lips. he visibly cringes 

but instead of being thrown off, you just laugh, and sakusa curses everything behind his mask because holy shit were you gorgeous and wow was his stomach just somersaulting 

not a nice feeling 

you explain to him briefly that you’re on the vbc and you were heading to play the girls of the same school he was gonna play against and all that, and he just hums and nods and tries to ignore the thump thump thump of his heart 

you don’t really interact during the bus ride going to, it’s coming back that you do 

you tell him that you managed to glimpse the last bit of his game, where he was landing a spike, and you complimented his skills and pointed out his freakish wrist move 

he noted that he didn’t get to see you play and your brain went opportunity! 

you go “well maybe you should come to one of my dates” like the absolute smooth talker you are 

omi just hums and goes “i’ll see” 

absolutely is there lol

the development into a relationship is more implicit than explicit. the two of you don’t announce to the world, but honestly, neither do you do it to yourselves. like you’d been on a coffee date with him at some point and your parent or sibling texted something you found funny and mentioned him as your boyfriend and you showed it to him and he was like

hm

am i your boyfriend 

like idk am i your girlfriend 

he said yeah obviously 

i love this boy so fucking much pleaseeeee

but yes just as your development into a couple is subtle, so is your overall relationship. and honestly? you wouldn’t have it any other way

semi eita

omg pretty setter semi eeee

so yk how shiratorizawa students live in dorms? there’s no way semi hasn’t noticed you before, even if it’s separate dorms for different genders. like you two probably come across each other every once in a while at a vending machine or something, and exchange a word or two 

it’s not until when semi starts to look forward to seeing you, or when he gets disappointed every time you don’t make an appearance, that he realizes, you know, he’s kinda developed a liking to you

he doesn’t really know much about you, aside your name and your favorite go-to snack from the vending machine, so he’s left a little frustrated at the lack of interactions you two have. like he’s just living off that small laugh of acknowledgment and the hi, hope you sleep well! you know? like he wants more from you. he wants to get to know you

he can’t seem to ever see you in school either, because the stars hate him that much and don’t wanna align for the two of you, not even a little to share one class with him. just one

it’s just his luck, though, when a busy weekend for all the sports teams comes along, and each sport is sectioned off to a bus. volleyball boys and girls in one bus, swimming boys and girls in one bus, etc. 

he really doesn’t expect it when you get on the bus, because what the fuck you play volleyball??? and then he really doesn’t expect it when you recognize him, gasp and grin, and wave at him, and go over to sit by him

his brain’s short-circuiting 

you immediately start conversation as you’re setting your bag down like “i didn’t know you played volleyball!”

and he laughs and nods like “i didn’t know you did either” 

it’s honestly a really cute and satisfying moment like okay maybe the stars were just taking their time aligning thank you universe 

the two of you click immediately. like annoyingly so. you have so much in common, and you spend the entire ride chatting excitedly about everything and semi’s wishing he’d just asked you to hang out way sooner, like as early as the first time you’d met at that vending machine 

the girls’ games finish a lot later than the boys, so he comes and watches you play, and is enamored by you, completely. in his head he’s just ‘this girl just keeps growing more perfect.’

he walks back with you to the bus, and sits next to you as well. when you arrive back at the school, you don’t immediately go to your dorms, and he suggests grabbing a refreshing drink from somewhere nearby

it’s incredible how you still have so much to talk about 

the time passes really quick with him

it’s while you’re having that drink with him, probably iced tea or boba or something, he tells you about his small passion for music, and you make him promise to play you something at some point. he loops his pinky with yours :)

he also confides in you about having been replaced on his last year, and how he tries not to let it affect him but he really can’t help him. from then on, after each of your practices, you invite him in your gym, and have him set to you, just so you both have an excuse to spend time with each other, and so that he gets to practice and play the way he really wants to, without any restrictions placed upon him and no one waiting to take his place

i think as a couple you’d probably really bring out the best in each other, and you’re constantly always, always there for each other. really, really reliant and supportive as partners, you know? 

you go to all his games, and whenever he’s pitched in, you scream his name the loudest and cheer him on so much. one look at your face, and he’s reminded of who he is and why he does what he does, and he’s immediately grounded aw <3

shirabu kenjirō

omg shirabu with a crush 🥺🤲🏼 i love it when characters seem so cold and standoffish but as soon as they’re around the people they care about they do a 180. that’s shirabu 100%

he really, really, really liked you. like it was embarrassing at this point. he totally denied it every time anyone even thought it, and he really tried his hardest not to be obvious around you

i like to think he saw you around school and that’s how it developed a little, but maybe you were friends with some of the vbc boys because of your shared interest in the sport, and you come to play with them sometimes after practice, he’d just never be there

but one time you walked in and he was like guess im not leaving 

he was a little starstruck at the fact that you played volleyball. he honestly wouldn’t care, but it sorta felt nice that there really was something that you two had in common

and you were good. at everything. you received semi and ushijima’s serves, and goshiki’s and ōhira’s spikes, perfectly, and reacted to tendō’s blocks so well, and hit his tosses just right. you were incredible. maybe your skills were magnified from his specific lens, but there really was no denying you were skilled 

damn this. all this. 

especially any time you’d spike his toss and give him a really wide smile and say, “nice toss!” like seriously the way his heart’s spasming cannot be healthy what the fuck 

and then he finds out the girls are sharing a bus with them, and then you walk in

and then you walk towards him

obviously, outwardly he looks unimpressed and unfazed but trust, his palms are sweaty as fuck 

before the bus moves, you stand by his seat and make small talk with him about volleyball, before you realize the bus is moving and you have to sit down, but you’re still in the middle of a conversation with him, so you just sit next to him and continue like nothing happened

he just. allows it. 

the school you’d been going to had a really big court where both the girls and boys were playing in the same gymnasium on opposite sides of the court, so when you arrived and changed and all, you were like “wanna warm up together” couple goals <3

pls semi, taichi and tendō would probably tease the fuck out of him lmfao. he’d just glare at them but he has such a big blush on his cheeks as he stretches and warms up with you that the glare is completely ineffective 

you go to sit next to him on the bus ride home, but the day’s exhaustion catches up to you, plus the bus’s movements are lulling you, so you end up falling asleep on his shoulder, and when shirabu first notices that you’d actually fallen asleep, he looks down at you with such a dreamy and awestruck face. goshiki took a picture and likes to torment him with it. shirabu has it as his lockscreen now lol 

as your boyfriend, he’s the exact same. very standoffish to everyone outwardly but to you? it’s a different story. 

nonetheless it’s not very obvious. so yes, he will have a scowl on his face as he tells you off, but his lips are slightly upturned and there’s a little pink shade on his cheeks that show just how endearing he thinks you are 

really loves to practice with you because he loves seeing you in your zone like that. also you look hot

anyways yes he’s such a cutie i will not take criticism 

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

Retranslation and Analysis of That Fight Scene

So firstly, I just want to say the subs are not bad and convey the general meaning very well, in a way that sounds natural in English. That being said, there's always some things that get lost in literal translation, and I really want to demonstrate how much depth the Japanese in this scene actually has for Karma and Nagisa's characters.

Basically the TLDR point here is that this fight is very much not about Korosensei. This is completely platonic, I promise I resisted making any shippy points.

Karma: Hey, Nagisa kun, aren't you getting extremely carried away?

Nagisa: Eh? (definitely surprised and bewildered)

Karma: The number one strongest assassin in Class E is Nagisa kun, isn't it? (uses yo here, which suggests confidence in the statement). Are you (very directly yourself, your own thoughts) wanting to quit assassination? Let's think about the talentless others who are desperately trying their hardest to kill him. When you put it like that, it's like a woman who 'has it' telling the ugly ones that they should honestly quit being so desperate to get a boyfriend, that kind of feeling?"

So some interesting analysis here is that Karma says "zuibun", or extremely, when the original translation is "a tad". The translation feels more natural in English, however it kind of makes me feel that Karma's trying to make more of a point. Nagisa has the right to be making suggestions and stepping up, but he's gone so far this time it's crossed a line.

I think 才能がないなり (talentless, saino ga nai nari) is also very interesting. Talent is the best translation, but if you look at the kanji very literally, there's "genius" and "ability". This specific word choice more implies that the other assassins are good, but Nagisa's just another level. Japanese grammar is confusing at best, but essentially 'nari' means become. So you take this as kind of like 'students who couldn't develop genius ability'.

The repetition of 'desperate' is also pretty interesting, linking the examples together better. It emphasises the point that they're kind of at a loss with. He also doesn't directly say attractive woman, he says "motteiru onna", which essentially means the same, but is literally "a woman who has (no object given but essentially 'it'). This more directly reflects to what he's saying about Nagisa, he HAS talent, this unspecified natural quality that makes him better than everyone else without trying.

There's also a lot more rhetorical questions in the Japanese, which got combined into single sentences in the English. The "let's think" thing is very literally what he says, like he's wanting Nagisa to actually consider his thoughts for himself.

Nagisa's original argument and intention may have been about Korosensei. Karma may be genuinely opposed to saving Korosensei. But that isn't the point of Karma's argument at all, he's making this about Nagisa because he's reached a limit with the both of them.

In order to spare you, more under the cut.

Nagisa: T-the aim wasn't... Above all, for assassination, your understanding is always better than mine

Karma: Saying that directly (take with slight pinch of salt - he could have also said "fixing your statement") is irritating. In reality, isn't it that you yourself are the most powerful, and you can't comprehend the feelings of weak humans?

Nagisa: That's wrong (also using affirmative yo here)! That's not what I said! These are my true feelings! Do you hate Korosensei? We went to see a movie together with him, didn't we have a variety of great times?!"

Karma: That's why, that octopus did his best to come and make a fun classroom every time, and didn't give up like Nagisa. Without bloodlust, this classroom wouldn't have been built. Can't you understand the effort?! It's not just your body, are you still a fresh elementary school student?

One thing to note here is that Nagisa isn't actually finishing his sentences. You can absolutely tell what he means because Japanese makes sense like that, but he's still dropping words. Or when he does say a full sentence, they're very short statements. He is desperate here, trying to prove a point he can't actually voice into words correctly.

The context here is that this is before we know their full backstory. Nagisa admired Karma, and he can't quite say it right yet. He thinks they're on different stages still, and Karma is frustrated because Nagisa doesn't see the point.

Karma, after all, does have this inhuman image of Nagisa in his head from years ago. The image of Nagisa looking like some kind of snake demon as he kills Karma in his sleep. He genuinely still, here, believes that Nagisa is purposely hiding this. That's why he keeps putting words into Nagisa's mouth. He's also cutting him off at points, not listening at all to what he's truly saying.

At the same time, Karma starts talking down to him. Instead of saying 'no' (how you'd end a sentence to a friend), he starts using 'kai', which is condescending and how you'd speak to a child. There's an argument here to be made for Karma doing this as a kind of defence mechanism too, but that's very complicated. At this point he really is just trying to get to him.

They are not arguing about killing Korosensei, not at all.

Karma: Huh?

Nagisa: *does the creepy eye thing*

Karma: Eh? What are those eyes? You with the social standing of a tiny female animal, are you defying a human?

Nagisa: I was just...

Karma: If you have a complaint, how about saying it after you win a fight for once? It's aimed at me, so come on. C'mon. C'mon. C'mon!

This is actually one of the most significant changes to the original.

This is the thing, Karma was never calling Nagisa a tiny mouse of whatever, he was just comparing him to one. Because he knows very clearly that Nagisa isn't like that. He sees that look in his eyes and it prompts him, in his frustration, to finally try and bring it out of Nagisa. He's trying to prove a point.

But then Nagisa stops himself. He lets go of his bloodlust for a moment, defaulting to Nagisa as we know and love him, literally turning his head away from Karma.

But Karma's too far gone at this point, he's dragged stuff up his past feelings about Nagisa, the ones he's been hiding for a year to be tentative friends with him, and now he can't let them go. He needs to see Nagisa's darker side plainly, no matter what that means.

It's also important that he says "it's aimed at me". I think this is a little deeper than literal. I think what he's implying here is this entire thing is somehow aimed at him, like Nagisa's trying to strip everything away just for his own perspective.

Obviously at this point Nagisa snaps and chokes him.

Nagisa internal thoughts: Even I...

Nagisa: I'm not going with half my feelings!

Karma: This guy...

This is also pretty significant. I'm surprised they cut the "even I" part because that says a lot about Nagisa's current feelings. He still doubts himself. He's aware that he's a pacifist, that he's got a lesser social standing, but Karma's put him into a position where he has to stand up for himself. And this is important to him.

Karma smiles when he says "this guy", getting ready to punch him. He feels like he's succeeded, in a way. Though at first he looked genuinely surprised Nagisa actually did it. There's a certain kind of satisfaction that finally he managed to bring Nagisa's 'true' self out.

Obviously at this point they get separated.

So what does all of this actually tell us? Well, pretty clearly here, this is just Karma's issues coming to light. But also a very helpful and useful moment for Nagisa's development as a character. Whether we agree with Karma using him as a punching bag or not, it genuinely does force Nagisa to get some self agency for once.

Karma and Nagisa will never be characters who sit around and talk honestly about their feelings. But even if they're using a whole situation to mask the fact that they very much are discussing their relationship here, it is still a significant moment where pretty much all the barriers they've been putting up against each other drop. They're just still not entirely on the same page through this scene.

Nagisa thinks Karma is just looking down on him and trying to pick a fight. He's baffled and confused as to why Karma feels so strongly against him.

Karma, on the other hand, thinks Nagisa is better than them all and is frustrated when he 'purposely' acts like he isn't. Karma still feels lied to from when they were kids. And he wants to expose it all, to get Nagisa to understand the position his skill puts him in. I honestly don't think Karma ever thought Nagisa was less than him at all, he just knew it would be an easy way to get a reaction. See how he flips tactic from "you're the best here" to "you're a tiny animal" when Nagisa just went into denial the first time?

I'm not going to go into the whole of their actual full fight, but there's some interesting points that reflect back on all of this.

Korosensei saying "your own answer is right in front of you", basically demonstrating that this entire thing really is just Karma and Nagisa

The entire point of the fight was to get one hit in with a knife, but Karma decides to just continuously beat Nagisa instead. Which yeah, is pretty ineffective. Pretty much proves again that it wasn't about just taking a victory.

Karma took Nagisa's hits on purpose, maybe it can be argued that this is trying to make things last longer, to get Nagisa to actually work for it.

Nagisa demands that he listens to what he has to say. And that's right, because Karma was cutting him off originally.

Karma is a super strategist right? And he was genuinely shocked that Nagisa didn't use his bloodlust to take him down. This is Karma. Sure, he's allowed to make mistakes. But this is odd for him. He was so caught up in his own perspective of Nagisa just having that skill that unfairly made him better. But Nagisa literally throws that skill out and beats Karma on his own level, pretty much disproving him. Maybe Nagisa has this special ability, but he's also worked just as hard as everyone else. He's trained to know what assassination means.

Beating Karma like this, on a 'human' level, was pretty much it. Karma stopped fighting back when he realised that, because he was disproven, and pretty much every wall he put up against Nagisa got literally choked out of him. Karma is already known as kind of an ass and a dirty fighter, you really think he'd worry about the others not accepting it if he stabbed Nagisa fair and square? If he cared that much about killing Korosensei, he would have just done it.

Their fight was never about Korosensei.