#i hate school. and by school i mean the specific combination of classes i have and the projects they all want done at the same time

[lostinlovingrevery]

Messy Paint, Messy Bodies

Trilogy! Logan X F! Reader

You and Logan make your own work of art

A/N: Hm, indulging in my painter self with this one...Enjoy!

Warnings: SMUT MDNI, messy sex, lil romantic sex, unprotected piv, creampie, paint lol, new established relationship, reader is an art teacher

Logan didn’t really consider himself an art type of person.

The most he’s ever done with paint was paint a house. He may have done a few bored scribbles on a piece of napkin, maybe in his younger years, he pursued painting to calm his nerves- but didn’t continue because he ran out of patience for it. 

Didn’t necessarily hate art, could appreciate a nice scenic landscape here and there. Especially ones that remind him of home. Suppose music and film are art too- and he appreciates those as well. He just wasn’t the type necessarily to stand around a museum drinking wine and staring at blank paintings trying to decipher what it all means. 

The only work of art that he could really appreciate is you.

The cute art teacher at Xaviers School for The Gifted. You were a bit strange but loving. The students loved you. You took an interesting approach to how you taught your classes, combining art and ethics together to help the young mutants find themselves in a world that they weren't accepted in. 

The day he came to the mansion, the day he met you. He was hooked. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was the way you smiled at him that eased his nerves when he stormed into Charles's office. How your eyes, they held nothing but kindness even as he lashed out at everyone like a wounded, scared animal. 

Or maybe he just thinks you’re pretty to look at.

Like art.

The weekend has arrived, and the school was almost completely empty from students either visiting parents, or going out to on the field trip to the local zoo with the other professors chaperoning. 

Logan, as per usual took this chance to sleep in late as possible and be completely lazy all morning, going into noon. Sprawled out in bed, with sheets that barely covered him and the afternoon sun streaming into the bedroom. He felt relaxed, peace, quiet, warm sunny spot to sleep in- except something was missing.

He climbed out with a groan, pulling on sweats and a t-shirt before leaving, and making a leisure walk to where he knew he’d find you. 

He made his way to your study, where your door was cracked open and he peered inside.

Your study- always a mess of paper and art supplies. Not because of you, but mainly because your students barge inside and tear it apart trying to find a specific color marker, or a certain paintbrush. It irritates the hell out of him, how brazen they are with your office but you always make him back off. 

They’re just being creative Lo,

Your back was turned to him, and you sat crossed-legged on a stool. You were focused, deep into your current painting. 

He stepped inside quietly, approaching you from behind as he took in some details of your current work in progress. He wasn’t an art man, no, but he could appreciate your art. The way you you carefully stroked your brush, how you chose your colors, and the subject- always something meaningful to you. 

“Logan, youre not very good at sneaking you know.” You say as he was a foot away from you. He smirked. 

“Now how’d you know I was in here?” He put a hand on your back, resting over your bare skin where your shirt rode up your waist. 

“Lo, you weigh like…1000 pounds. Your footsteps are hella heavy. You breathe loud too.”

“No I don’t.” He says, a mock offense in his voice. “Also I’m not 1000 pounds.”

“Suuuuure.” You teased as you looked up at him. He smirked, and you winked at him. You turned back to the painting, chewing on your inner cheek as you pondered you next stroke of color.

“Looks nice.” He says with a hum as he leans over your shoulder. 

“It’s still a work in progress-” You beamed as you turned your head to look at him, and he smirked, his eyes trailing down to your lips. 

He leaned forward and captured you in a kiss, that you happily returned, smiling against his lips. You hand came up to cup his cheek, as you tilted your head to push yourself closer to him.

You haven’t been together long, in fact no one even knows yet that you’ve been together. They don’t know that Logan has been sneaking into your room every night, and back into his every morning. 

When Ororo came by your bedroom early this morning, to make sure you didn’t change your mind about coming with everyone to the zoo. She didn’t know Logan laid sprawled on your mattress- buttass naked and you had to nearly slam the door in her face so she wouldn’t come in- as she usually would. 

While you happy with Logan- really happy actually. Everyone has remarked that your cheery demeanor has been even more cheery as of late. A lingering worry was in your head though- as you wondered exactly what was you and Logan’s relationship? 

It came to be when certain feelings came to light, and you hooked up one stormy night. Since then, you haven’t had a night where Logan wasn’t in your bed. Quiet whispers of flirts in rooms with others around, discreet passing touches in hallways. Logan would slip you little love notes, and surprise you by putting flowers and little gifts in your study or bedroom. The romantic gestures were sweet- and shocked you a bit. Always had acted like a lone wolf before you got together. You didn’t expect the big bad Wolverine to be a complete teddy bear.

Not that you’re complaining. You always knew there were other sides of him, sides that just needed a little love and support, in order to open up.  

Maybe it was silly to worry about putting a label on your relatioship, especially when he’s so sweet to you- But just like your own paintings, it never felt complete until you gave it a name.

You parted from his lips, smiling up at him and removing your hand- only to realize you had smeared paint on his face.

“Oh!” You giggled, lifting and turning your hand to show him the fresh paint on your palm. “I got it on your face.” 

“Really?” He brought his hand to his cheek, touching the paint smeared there and pulling his fingers back. “Trying to turn me into one of your pretty paintings sweetheart?”

“I don’t need to handsome,” you flirt, “You’re already a work of art.” 

A deep blush filled his cheeks, his eyes grew heavy as he looked down at you. Rendered speechless from your flirt. 

He leaned down to capture your lips in another kiss. Deep and sensual, one that made you off guard. You didn’t notice when he slowly reached his hands over, dipping into the palette of paint that sat on the bedside table. He brought it to your cheek, cupping it and you immediately felt the wetness. 

Gasping and pulling away, you saw the paint spread on his hand. 

“Logan!” You laughed. You grabbed your brush, and attacked him by painting a streak down his nose. He laughs, warm and mischievous and grabbing the brush from your hand to return the favor by brushing against your other cheek. 

It erupted into something more. You stood up from your stool, grabbing your palette and smearing paint on your hands as you looked at him with a devious grin. 

“Hey-” Logan held his hand up to you. “Don’t-”

You charged at him, smearing your hand onto his arm, and then across his white tank-top. He tried to get away, but you managed to smear more on his face and into his beard as well. He grabbed a tube of paint nearby, and grabbed you around your waist before you could get away- squeezing it under your shirt and smearing paint along your chest while you squeal in laughter.

It escalated, Logan caught you in a wet, passionate kiss to distract you from smearing more paint onto him. Things became intense, the smearing of paint over your bodies made it messy, your arms and lips slipping over each other- creating works of art onto each others skin.

Before you knew it Logan was peeling your clothes off. Mumbling something about a mess as he dropped your t-shirt to the floor, and peeled off your bra. You giggled, your hands- smeared with a multitude of rainbows found his shirt, have been painted and ruined like yours and tugged it off. You pressed your hands to his chest, and began smearing it down to his stomach, paint stuck to his thick chest hair. You pressed eager pecks to his lips as he backed you against a table that held your art supplies. 

“Logan-” You giggled into his mouth when he brushed a bunch of your supplies off to the floor. “You’re lucky none of that was expensive-”

“I’d buy you new ones,”

“Oh, you’re gonna be my sugar daddy now?” You teased as he began to work your jeans off, his handprints now staining over them- you’ll definitely figure out a way to save those marks. 

“Baby, I’ll be anything you want.” He mumbles into your lips as you tugged his sweatpants down to his thigh. Not to your surprise, his hard cock waved as he popped out from his sweats. 

He tugged your panties off, throwing them into the pile of clothes, you hooked your arms around his shoulders, tugging him closer as you licked his lips- tasting paint that somehow smeared. Your skin slipped together, mixing the rainbow of colors together while Logan nipped your lips. 

“Would you be my love?” You whisper as he buries his face into your skin, nipping at your skin even as he tasted paint on his tongue, your hands curled into his hair, leaving strands be covered in blues and reds and purples and yellows. 

He froze, and for a moment your heart stopped- wondering if you crossed a line. He lifted his head to look at you and you admired the pinks and whites and blues that have been smeared over his cheeks, nose, and beard. He didn’t look scared, or put-off, but his expression held something serious. 

He brought his hands to cup your cheek, looking into your eyes. 

“If you’ll have me.” He says softly. You smiled, mirth escaping you as you nodded, tugging him back to you as you wrapped your legs around his hips and hooked your ankles , his heavy cock pressed to your belly. 

Your lips met again, a newfound vigor and passion between you both as paint continued to smatter over your writhing bodies. He tugged your hips closer as he angled himself to your weeping hole, dripping with your arousal and begging for him to fill you up.

He pushed himself inside, spearing you open. You gasped, mouth falling open and burying your nails into his scalp, tugging at the curls of his hair. He licked into your mouth, licking your tongue and teeth. You laughed, tipping your head back as he buried himself to the hilt. 

“Feel so goddamn perfect baby-” He groans, his strong arms wrapping around you and tugging you impossibly closer. His forehead rests against yours, your noses smashed together, and he began thrusting in and out of you. Warmth flooded through you, you melted into his arms- you always melt into him.

Your hips meet with each slow, prepared thrust, Logan pants as he smashes his lips on yours again. He gently pushed you down onto the table, which creaked under your weight. His hands gripped your hips bruisingly as he picked up pace and began pounding into you.

“Lo-” You moaned, hands falling off him attempting to grab the edge of the table. He stood up, keeping his pace but hooking his arms under your legs and spreading them wider. You cried out, as the new angle sent shocks up your spine- he hit that perfect spot inside you that had your toes curling and your body trembling. 

“Calling me a work of art darling?” He moaned. “Take a look at yourself-.” He moans, “Fucking gorgeous, ain’t never seen something pretty as you baby.” 

“Logan,” You whined. “I’m- I-”

“I know baby-” He grunted, thrusting hard and faster as he felt you tighten around him, that burning hot feeling in his lower tummy fast approaching. He leaned back over you, your legs still hooked over his biceps as he buried himself into you over and over. You reached your finish- crying out Logan's name as your back arched into him and your hands pulled at his hair. 

He met in another wet kiss as he fucked you through your finish, pounding into you at a near inhuman pace before slamming inside and shooting ropes of cum with a loud grunt, whining into your mouth as he shook over your body. Your pussy tightened around him, like it was milking him of every drop. 

Once you both finished, he collapsed onto your chests. Panting onto your painted breasts, while you tried to come back to your body. He carefully pulled out, and sat up with you, not before pressing several loving kisses over your face while you pushed yourself up limply.

You took each other in- and then the room, realizing just how big of a mess was made of not just yourselves- but the entire room. Paint spilled and splattered on walls and furniture.  

A heartbeat passed, and giggles erupted from you both. Logan wrapped you in an embrace and kissed your temple. Paint had covered you both, stuck in your hair, messily smeared over your face, mixed together in a muddy color along your chest and arms. 

“We need to wash up!- especially before anyone sees.” You laughed and hopped off the table, your legs shook as you still were recovering from your coitus, as you clung onto Logan. 

“Yeah, give us some time for round two,” He purrs, and you smile up at him. Warmth came over you, as you realized that you finally had a name for him, some assurance to what your relationship was.

You both redressed in your painter smattered clothes, just to be able to walk to your bedroom in some decency and to shower. Before you could leave your study- Logan swooped in and picked you up like a bride, leaving you giggling.

He stepped into the hallway, with you in his arms, quietly mumbling sweet nothings to each other. 

“Well, you guys have been busy.” 

You both froze, as Logan turned to the direction of Ororos voice, who stood in the hall with a hand on her hip. 

“Now I see why you didn’t want to come to the zoo.” 

[windblumewishes]

Since there’s kind of a running theme to these posts at this point, I’m going to go ahead and ask. Do you think there’s any way of mending the damage that’s created a rift between the two sides of the fandom? I unfortunately don’t because I don’t think the collective fandom culture over here is “mature” enough to pull it off, to put it bluntly.

Hello, Dearie!!

The way I see it, yes, there’s always a way, though of course it may not ever happen it’s better to hope and try than never try at all. I understand your POV, I’m going to say it’s right nor wrong to think so regarding the “maturity” aspect but I will say this…

At the end of the day we need to understand and respect the JP fandom as this game was theirs first, it was not global yet then. I understand that we thought it was cool and wanted a piece of the action but in doing so we created a deep rift, deeper than the deepest underwater trench in the world and the Grand Canyon combined. That rift may not heal. Damage was done. Horrible things happened. Misinformation was spread.

There are of course kind and welcoming JP fans I have had the absolute honour of meeting and speaking with who love to see the international love but hate the great rift, I do too, I feel that pain. It’s not solely one side causing the trouble but the majority is that it is global fans. Now there are the good ones and the ones we have those 2am shower thoughts of “what the fudge is wrong with this guy?!” sort of thing with.

My moot, a JP fan who is from Japan herself, says: “It’s disappointing really, I don’t think westerners mean harm but are causing harm. I don’t believe they are bad people, just have been fed the ideology that any behaviour is okay. You work in the schools right? You see that don’t you?”

Yes, I was a student teacher for two semesters and a Special Ed classroom assistant for IEP/504 students or students of higher disabilities. I know this is true, I have seen it firsthand. Many kids these days are being rewarded and validated for poor behaviour which in turn fuels their desire to do worse online in their respective fandoms. I can vouch for that as a group of students I was with were doing just so in the middle of class this past fall.

(Pray for me this fall as I will be substitute teaching…)

I don’t believe some of these fans, specifically the younger fans mean harm, they are doing this behaviour and causing these rifts because that’s what they know how to do, they get validated and rewarded for bad behaviour instead of scolded or punished. They do this because they were taught it is okay. It’s not just for classroom settings, oh no, it’s anywhere and everywhere.

To those of you who are kind, respectful, and decent fans in the TWST community who are youngsters, thank you. You kiddos were raised right! Keep that up and it will serve you well in the long run, got it? *gives you all stickers*

I hope what I said does not hurt, offend, or anger anyone. I’m just speaking of what I know and have experienced in the fandom. Please understand that you all can change, you can be like a Pokémon and evolve! You got this!! 🫶

- Windblume

[yharnamesque]

Fuck it Sukuna and Gojo work at Tesco now why not

-

It’s 9:15am. The shop’s been open for well over an hour by now and the initial crowds of school children grabbing snacks and elderly with not much else going on in their lives have slowed to what’s normally expected of this time. He’s certain that a lot of people also try to get in earlier just so they don’t have to worry about asking him specifically for help, but he doesn’t care about that. Sukuna’s never cared whether customers find him approachable or not, and apparently neither did the store manager when he was first asked to step into a management position.

He hadn’t wanted to. None of the other staff had wanted him as their shift lead. Everyone, including him, had begged Geto to stay and to decline the offer working logistics in one of the main warehouses. They’d already lost Toji to the infinite allure of being allowed to drive a forklift a month earlier, they couldn’t lose anyone else like this. Geto, with more life in his eyes than anyone had seen in several years and a self-satisfied grin on his face, had merely shrugged and claimed it to be “totally out of his hands”. The atmosphere since had been one of a wake just after a funeral; beyond dour, utterly miserable, the rest of the staff reduced to just going through the motions now they’d lost their only real advocates.

It wasn’t all bad, he had to keep telling himself. There’d been a minuscule bump in pay and he no longer had to wear the scratchy blue polo shirt everyone else in Tesco was forced to deal with. It did mean he had to deal with the regional manager Leanne more often though as this happened to be her closest local, and oh how she loved to just pop in and have a nitpick about the myriad of issues apparently plaguing the shop. All things that were well within her power to get sorted. No wonder he’d started grinding his teeth in frustration recently.

The muscles in his jaw twinged in annoyance as Sukuna did the morning rounds. He hated the professional neutral he was forced to stay in while chatting with the higher ups; all it did was seem to confirm they’d made the right decision in moving him up the ladder while all he was trying to do was keep his job at all. How they’d been willing to overlook that last outburst the way they did he would never know. He really should’ve applied for that job in security when he first saw it instead of leaving the tab open for days on end…

A sigh of relief and his head tipping back when he was finally dismissed to just get on with it. Shoulders slumped and hands in his pockets, he scanned the aisles until he spotted Nobara working dairy. Like everyone else she looked tired. Doing these morning shifts from 6am till midday before long afternoon classes clearly weren’t doing her any favours, but she refused any offers of changes to her schedule.

“How’d it go this morning?” he asked.

She glanced up at him from where she knelt in front of the yoghurts. “Ask Gojo.”

He blinked. “He’s still here? I thought he was out the door by 7:30 at the latest.”

She nodded towards the warehouse. “He was in the alleyway last I saw him. Stretched out.”

Oh. Oh it was a bad one today then. Gojo always squatted when he was taking five, never sat. Didn’t want to get cigarette ash on his ass part way through a shift. So if he was out there with his legs stretched out-

Sukuna sighed and ran a hand through his hair, giving a light pat on her shoulder as he headed towards the back.

The alley between Tesco and Halfords was slim, dank and somehow reeked more of the various engine oils from next door than it did of the combined cigarette and vape cloud that lingered above the two shops. It was shared between both sets of staff, a single metal gate at the front of the buildings stopping them being interrupted by random dads in their early forties who couldn’t tell the difference between organic and non-organic despite the specific brand name being fully written out by their wives on the shopping list. It was too early in the day for anyone to really be out here, yet there Gojo sat. Back against the cold corrugated wall with one leg extended and his head resting on the other bent knee. His dark glasses were resting atop his hair, and a thin trail of smoke rose from the same hand that loosely held a can of Monster by the top.

“I thought you hated the watermelon flavour,” Sukuna said, rooting about for his own crumpled pack of Sovereign Blue and sticking one in his mouth.

“Still haven’t gotten any mango loco in,” Gojo mumbled, taking another slow drag. “It’s been a week and they’re still saying they’ve got supply issues.”

“Fuckin’ hell.” The click and spark of Sukuna’s lighter was the only sound between them for several moments. “Do I dare ask?”

“So you know how they were saying there’s probably a bug going round recently?”

“Yeah?”

Gojo took his last drag and then snuffed out the stub on the paving slab leaning against the wall next to him. The slab was supposed to be a replacement for one of the fully cracked ones further down, but no one had been bothered to actually swap them out since it had first been delivered. The surface was a dot-to-dot smudge of ash marks built up over a year. “Guess how many.”

Sukuna felt his stomach drop. “How many.”

Gojo finally raised his head up to his old colleague, mouth stretched into a grim line and those ever bright blues drowning in dark sunken sockets. “Six.”

“Fuck me dude…”

“Six people called out last night. You don’t even need me to tell you how stretched we were. Another four from your shift called before you got in, and delivery included the main seasonal shit. So uh…good luck.”

Sukuna pinched the bridge of his nose, jaw clenched and eyes squeezed shut. This really was the last thing he needed to deal with after one of the cardboard baler’s inexplicably shut down yesterday and staff were scrambling to store the excess rubbish in places it wouldn’t get in the way before it could be collected.

“Hey at least you didn’t have to deal with Leanne this morning! She decided to come and do her bitching right as doors opened for a change,” Gojo laughed. Sukuna almost felt sorry for him. After all, everyone knew Gojo moved to night shift management to avoid dealing with all the day shift nonsense. Unlike others he just couldn’t keep up the pretence when he really needed to, but he was too valuable and had worked there too long to be let go.

“Go home Satoru. Take a melatonin and get some sleep.”

“Can’t. Going Nando’s with Toji and Geto later, so I really can’t risk the snooze. Might as well just stay and get the overtime.”

Sukuna scoffed. “Since when did you do overtime?”

Gojo grinned and winked. “Annual reviews are coming up soon, wouldn’t hurt to give a little reminder of why they need me, eh?”

[kohyuuu]

new ocs ! started: february 3rd, 2025 finished: february 6th, 2025

im feeling really fucking sick rn and i think i have the flu so here is the kinda long awaited introductions to my three new ocs x

was going to add at least 1-2 more hcs for scarlett but im experiencing brain fog rn

anyway enjoy !

as always, androgynous reader <3

——————————

(more undercut !)

elias dunstan rivera 🐢🎧🇵🇭 (inspired by rise donatello !!!!!!)

- he’s a philippine forest turtle

- he’s in 2 honors classes and is in ap psychology which he absolutely hates and loves

- has adhd! (inattentive type) you have to comfort him because his meds don’t work sometimes/take a while to kick in

- has an x-men hyperfixation !! (ares suggestion!)

- quiet. he’s a shy fella. will talk his head off to you over tv shows, movies and fandoms tho !!

- owns grey sony headphones (weirdly specific ik HELP) that he wears on his head or around his neck

- loves hugs (especially from you <333), just make sure to ask him first incase he’s overstimulated. he’s very indifferent to touch but doesn’t mind it when he isn’t overwhelmed

- doesn’t have a lot of friends, except for you and a few other people

- if you two are dating, he would feel insecure given how shy he is, and he feels like he wouldn’t be a good boyfriend but you reassure him he is and always will be ❤️

- kinda hates walking in the hallways at school bc it’s really loud and it overwhelms him sometimes 😕

- he is of filipino descent!!

- some people tell him he kinda looks like rottmnt’s donatello and he’s like “who??” and then they show a pic of him and he’s like “ohhh… yea we do kinda look alike ngl” HELP ME

——————————

finley singh 🐯🤼🇮🇳

- he is a bengal tiger!!

- has average grades in his classes at school (do NOT ask him about math please x)

- for an apex predator, his name doesn’t sound that threatening

- like when you think of the name finley, you wouldn’t think of a literal tiger that looks like he would beat you up in the parking lot…. 😞

- he’s on your school’s wrestling team !! he’ll jump people for you if they’re being mean to you dw x (AND ITS ON SIGHT 😛)

- finley is of indian descent :33

- he’s a soft spoken person but sometimes his voice comes out high and awkwardly loud whenever he speaks

- plays fortnite and fall guys

- owns the hatsune miku skin on fortnite and is a freaking god on fall guys

- if you two are dating, i feel like he’d be an amazing boyfriend but also a really annoying one

- he would try to find you the second he gets out of the locker room so he can walk home with you/however you get home if you’re still at school

- finley’s also the type to give big bear hugs whether you’re a close friend or his s/o, he’ll back off if you’re uncomfy ofc !!

- he chuffs when you guys hug btw and its loud af and he might pounce on you so be careful LMFAO

——————————

scarlett avery ellis 🌹🤠🇺🇸

- human!! she is black <3

- she also has adhd (combined-type) and is hyperfixated on american/cowboy/cowgirl aesthetic and music!! ❤️

- her grades in school are also average, but you and her have study dates together if you two are dating <3

- has a big american flag in her room!! she also has a corkboard with everything american/cowbody related on it in the style of an early 2000s rom-com where the character plans out something on their corkboard or smth?? (idk if y’all are getting my reference but i hope yk LMAO)

- randomly sings the intro song from american dad when she’s around you and/or some friends LMFAOO

- is best friends with elias!! you and him met thanks to her <3

- if you two are dating, i feel like scarlett would be a loving girlfriend, you guys would just do everything together (depending on your comfort). she has moments where she’s overstimulated or overwhelmed bc of something, so you’re always there for her xx <3

- she’s really big on slime rancher (first and second game), like every time you would come over to her place to hang out the first thing you see her doing when you go into her room she’s playing slime rancher on her pc 😞

- plays a lot of pj sekai. the group she chose was wonderland showtime!! (the group i chose once 😛)

- owns rdr2 on steam !!!!!! (she has over 55+ hours on it)

2/17/25 edit: SPECIAL THANKS TO MY GOOD FRIEND @ares-shithole-writing-blog !!1!1!1! he helped me come up with a few of the facts for these lovely characters xxxx

[tikitania]

My thoughts while watching Prix de Lausanne:

LOL, why is Joy Womack a judge? Who owed her a favor? Who did the girl pay?

The Prix de Lausanne has become a competition to see who is the skinniest.

Nice to see some shorter dancers; look how good, on average, their petit allegro is.

Oh my, you can always spot the American and Australian-trained dancers because of their obsession with constant, teeth-jarring smiling. Please stop.

Why are people in the comments saying there’s no diversity? It seems to me there’s a huge amount of amazing Korean, Japanese, and Chinese dancers.

You can tell who’s not Vaganova-trained, LOL. I feel bad for them.

It’s obvious to me who will not be chosen for the finals, but I wonder if these dancers that we all know won’t win, know it as well. Do they know it? Are they there out of delusion, hope, or for the opportunity to be seen?

There is more emphasis on being skinny and having long limbs than on having hyperextended knees and arched feet. Interesting.

The average level of the Asian dancers is higher. However, many seem to lack artistry, but many compensate for that with good musicality and long limbs.

There’s a general lack of musicality, lack of use of the back, no use of cambré, and lack of use of the eyes.

I wonder if students actually learn something from these classes. The combinations are so fast, and there are absolutely no specific corrections—just generalized reminders.

It gives me great satisfaction when the variation coach gives them the same corrections I would give them.

Some of these variations are a disaster. There’s no way the coach has enough time to fix most of it. Pity.

If you don’t end up a finalist, I think the Prix is useless and a waste of time and money. Yet, being a finalist doesn’t necessarily mean that much either. It’s luck, I guess. But it can’t hurt to win. Obviously.

I hate how they coach the variations. I wish there were long group coaching sessions for each variation. What are they going to take away from just a few minutes? No. It gives me anxiety. This way of coaching variations just favors those who already have good teachers with them.

Myrna Kamara is the definition of a pretty dancer but a bad teacher. If I had her daily, I would go insane.

The way Élisabeth Platel gives class is so fast, but there’s logic and flow to her class. She seems like she doesn’t care, though. Hopefully, she’s different in real life.

The Prix really has some lovely costumes.

You can tell that European/American ballet schools don’t abuse their students as much as Russian/Asian schools. The level at which these Asian dancers are taking class is just so much higher.

These variations are too short. There’s no way to test stamina.

Is this stage raked? It better be.

I wish there were female and male categories. What’s the point of having junior and senior categories?

My toxic trait is skipping all the contemporary and male stuff.

ANON, you are epic. I just don’t have that many feelings about Lausanne, but happy to share yours. 🩰✨

[cringelordofchaos]

Common ADHD traits/experiences I've heard of !!

(I was gonna make a post about why I might be neurodivergent but I figured it'd be going a bit too personal. Also this is just easier)

(ADHD is much more nuanced and complex than I may make it appear in this post. A lot of ADHD people don't have a lot of these traits or have traits not mentioned here. For example there are three types of ADHD (inattentive, hyperactive and combined) and most inattentive adhders are not going to be hyperactive lol)

Warning: badly worded (I'm stupid that's my excuse). also I'll go on personal rants as to how some of these may apply to me (whilst I can reasonate with each point listed here I won't go on a rat on all of these)

Physical hyperactivity (inability to sit/stand still (I used to think this meant that people with ADHD were incapable of. Sitting down (while constantly fidgeting or not) for one whole class)(I was an idiot)(I still am)). (Just overall constant , movement (I might have it idk I'm ALWAYS

Excessive talking

Stimming, fidgeting, general and overall repetitive movements (such as flapping hands, pacing, clasping hands together, etc)

Low attention span regarding things that don't garner much interest to you

More likely to be autistic, have anxiety or depression (or generally have other diagnostic conditions)

Ability to Hyperfocus on specific things, at times out of their control

More likely to have a lower Performance in school that most people

Proneness to addiction

Rejection sensitive dysphoria/RSD (really sensitive and afraid to rejection or criticism or disapproval or stuff like that. I'm questioning if I have it and I'm pretty sure I do bc i would have a whole breakdown bc i accidentally had a bad unintentional thought about this cool person I didn't want to hate me)(it's complicated)

Emotional disregulation (easily irritable, excited, stressed, stronger emotions, more likely to lash out, etc)(people with this are usually described to be much more emotional)

restless leg syndrome (except it's permanent lol)

Lower memory spans regarding most things

Forgetting to fulfill basic needs (such as eating, drinking, showering, etc)

Women/AFAB people are more likely to be diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (this of course does not rucking mean afab people can't b hyperactive my god)

Mental hyperactivity (racing/constant/overlapping/repetitive thoughts or stuff like that)

Impulsivity (doing stuff without thinking them fully though or not knowing why)

Sensory issues (sensitivity to sensory output such as noise, brightness, etc)

Easily bored/underwhelmed/understimulated - more likely to want to seek constant dopamine (due to l

Easily overwhelmed (whether itd be due to aforementioned sensory issues, emotional disregulation, rsd or stuff like that)

More likely to be perceived as "childish" (from what I've heard obviously this and many other things listed here don't apply to everyone)

Executive dysfunction (can't do shit at all)(ok it's more complicated than that just Google it up or something)

Having Hyperfixations (things you're DEEPLY invested in for a period of time, it can be a few days, weeks, months, sometimes more than a year, depends rly)(I'm still questioning if I'm neurodivergent but like I'm pretty sure I was in a DEEP hyperfixation mode when it came to sonic for like. A YEAR. like I literally it was literally the only thing on my brain the only thing in my life. and I would get realllytyy excited about learning obscure information about it or infodumping and I would flap my hands bc of how excited and passionate I was Abt it)(man I miss the times when I was so passionate about stuff I liked it was so fun :(( )

Higher/lower levels of empathy (I've seen this moreso been brought up with discussions regarding autism but I've also seen it brought up with ADHD itself too)

Lower levels of dopamine

Impatience

More likely to be a maladaptive daydreamer

Its cause is usually heavily genetic (meaning if your family or a family member has ADHD, you are more likely to have ADHD yourself)

More likely to have insomniac/have general problems with sleep (I'm questioning ADHD. I'm writing this like... Five hours before I'm supposed to wake up for school. Great.)

There is also a higher relevance between ADHD and PTSD

If I missed something important let me know!! Also if you don't know some of he

This post is not meant to be used as a substitute for self nor professional diagnosis, though if you feel like you might have ADHD because of this post I recommend further research and conversations with trusted advisors such as parental figures or therapists/doctors (not me not listening to my own advice)(<- that was me regarding my latter advice)(I'm too scared to tell my parents about it man)(idk why)

Things to note:

ADHD is not just about little elementary school hyperactive white boys !!

There's a lot of things I mightve missed

Not everyone with ADHD has all these traits (obviously)

Some of these traits may be common due to the commonness of ADHD + autism overlap (idk though)

Apparently it's one of the most diagnosed forms of neurodivergence in kids (about 7-10% of kids in the USA are diagnosed with ADHD)(APPARENTLY idk)

There's more but I'm tired right now byeeee

[devildom-moss]

Roses for You (10)

This had all started when you noticed a link between a book on the language of flowers you had borrowed from Satan’s room and the current lessons from your Seductive Speechcraft and Magical Potions classes.

In Seductive Speechcraft, you had just reached a section on the effectiveness of spells using non-verbal communication: enchanting glances, dance, and offerings. Meanwhile, in Magical Potions, the professor had been discussing the significance of using specific quantities when concocting potions; they had spent fifteen minutes just providing examples – including adding petals from two different flowers when using them for a love spell.

You couldn’t resist discussing the use of flower language – utilizing the type, color, and quantity of the flowers – to specify the magical intent of an offering as a form of seductive speechcraft. Asmo and Solomon listened intently. The same idea popped into both of their minds, and before you knew it, everyone was looking into color and number meanings, searching for the perfect combination to convey their feelings for you and try to put you under their spell. The only rule for their little competition to charm you? Only roses are allowed.

Will you be charmed by their attempts?

Ten Roses - Luke

Word Count: +1,400

You are perfect

This week had culminated to today – one of those days when a cruel creature crawled onto your shoulder and screamed insults into your skull every few minutes. Its words drown everything else out. You are so useless. I hate you. I hate this. I’m such a loser. In spite of that, you still managed to pull your heavy limbs out of bed and drag them through about 60% of your morning routine – a win. It was just two classes today. You could do it.

You were noticeably slower as you walked to class, and you felt your spine compress and the full weight of your body with every step. Guilt set in – both ashamed and anxious about potentially being recognized at the bottom of this well. What were you expected to say if they asked about it? What if they were mad or annoyed because you were feeling bad again? How honest could you be without making them worry about you? What if you started crying the second they showed they cared? That would be embarrassing.

A small voice broke through your intense focus on the worst possible outcomes. You tuned your ears to it halfway through. “. . . busy after school?”

“Huh?” You blinked out of your self-induced trance. “Sorry, what was that, Luke?”

“Are you busy after school, MC?” You shook your head slowly. Luke grinned. “Great. Will you go on a picnic with me this afternoon?”

“Well, I –” you stopped yourself. The part of you that was exhausted and wasn’t sure if you could put in the extra strength to get through a picnic crumbled at the sight of Luke’s angelic smile. Maybe this was something you had to do – one of those things that are supposed to help you feel better. Your shoulders slumped with a sigh, and you forced a smile. “Yeah. Okay, Luke.”

“Yay.” Luke clasped his hands together with a grin. “I’ll meet you after your last class. We can have it at the park on the way back home, so we won’t have to go too out of the way. I’ll have everything ready.”

“Wait. Can I do anything to help? It’s last minute, but I have time between classes – maybe I could –”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got everything handled. Actually, well,” Luke hummed, wondering if he should share the truth. With a slight blush on his cheeks, he admitted, “I planned ahead, hoping you would say yes. I already made the food and got drinks. All you have to do is be there, really!”

You could hear the determination in Luke’s voice. It warmed your heart that he cared so much to do this, but it was a painful, burning warmth – the prickle you feel when warming your freezing fingers. His kindness felt wasted, but Luke wanted to offer it to you, and you didn’t know how to politely reject it. You nodded and Luke gave you another smile. It almost looked like part of him saw right through your façade, but you hoped his naivety would spare him from knowing how tumultuous your thoughts were recently.

“I’ll see you later, MC. Do your best in your classes. I prepared your favorites – with some help from Simeon and Barbatos, so please look forward to it.”

You tried to look forward to it, and you did your best in your classes – even though the best you could manage was sitting there and getting about half a page of notes down (hopefully about the most important parts of the lecture). You sort of lucked out that you had lectures today. Sitting there was already harder than you wanted it to be.

Luke was waiting right there in the hallway when you clawed your effort from the grasp of Diavolo’s education system. It was almost comical to see such a small angel carrying a rather large picnic basket. It looked like an overkill for a two-person picnic.

“Are the others joining us?” You asked with an ounce of dread. You had only mentally planned to spend time with Luke. Maybe you could handle Simeon and Barbatos – but even Solomon might be pushing it. If Lucifer could go without teasing Luke, you might have been okay with him, but Lucifer didn’t seem like he would be caught on a picnic with you and Luke on a weekday afternoon in the park.

“Nope, just us today. Why?”

“That basket is huge.” You didn’t really want to, but you felt you had to offer, “Should I carry that for you?”

“I had to use this picnic basket. Oh! But it’s not heavy. I can totally carry it on my own, so don’t you worry about it.”

Now that you were sitting in a quiet part of the park where the breeze was light and crisp, you felt like you could breathe a bit deeper. The Devildom was pretty when you thought about it – and you probably wouldn't have thought about it if not for Luke. He pulled out your favorite bread – one that Barbatos must have helped him bake – and that one dessert that Simeon made for you a few months ago. You didn’t even remember telling Luke that it was probably the best thing you had ever eaten. He was still pulling out food when you felt the guilt rise up again. Why did he put in so much effort?

Instead of drowning in the guilt, you tried to hold onto something. “Thank you, Luke. I don’t know what to say. This is so nice.”

“Do you know why I brought the big picnic basket today? It’s because I had to hide a present for you,” Luke admitted proudly.

“Luke.” Even for an angel, someone raised him to be too sweet.

“Close your eyes.” You did as he asked, waiting for a signal that came soon after. Luke said in sing-song, “ta-da.”

When you opened your eyes, he was holding out a bouquet of ten bright-yellow roses. The roses blurred as tears welled up. In your current state, you couldn’t remember what ten meant, but yellow was the unmistakable color of joy and friendship. It hadn’t occurred to you in a while how grateful you were for Luke’s friendship. The tears followed through on their threat, freely falling down your cheeks in the middle of the park.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized weakly. Luke tensed with panic, but he noticed that the corners of your lips kept turning up as if you were trying to smile, so he handed you a tissue and decided to say his piece.

“It’s okay, MC. You can cry if you want to. You’ve been having a hard time recently, right? I noticed – even though I think you didn’t want me to. And then, Mammon told me he heard you whisper something mean to yourself when you were alone in the library. I’m sorry that you’re not doing well. You’re my friend, right? So, I want you to rely on me, and maybe I can’t always cheer you up, but I had to do something. I want you to eat good food and enjoy the world – even if that world is the Devildom. Even if you don’t believe me, I think you’re perfect just as you are, and I want you to be happy.” Luke spoke without any of his usual embarrassment about being honest and affectionate. For a brief moment, you recalled some of the times you had been there for Luke. Yes, Luke was being kind to you in his own angelic way, but he was also holding up a mirror, reflecting your kindness back at you – a give and take that was not always even, but it was cherished. You were too busy crying to think of the right thing to say, but that was okay. Luke set the roses down and got closer. “Would you like a hug?”

You were far from cried-out, but you felt okay enough to wipe your eyes and try to enjoy this picnic to the best of your ability – even if you had drawn the attention of a few demons who were passing by. You stretched your arms out and grabbed Luke, pulling him close to you, much in the same way Satan did with street cats he befriended when they were being especially cute. With a small smile on your lips, you said, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you but if they had angel adoption papers, I would sign them right away.”

Luke wasn’t sure if you were trying to treat him like a son or a pet, but he would let it slide this time. “Well, if they had human adoption papers for angels, I would sign them too. And then I would be your guardian.”

Lucifer (1) | Mammon (2) | Leviathan (3) | Satan (4) | Asmodeus (5) | Beelzebub (6) | Belphegor (7) | Diavolo (8) | Barbatos (9) | Simeon (11) | Solomon (12) | Thirteen (13) | Raphael (14) | Mephistopheles (15)

[thedragonsfate]

FHJY thoughts under the cut bc I gotta sort my brain and can't be succinct to save my life

I think there's something interesting in acknowledge like

of COURSE Kipperlily underestimated the bad kids.

She's hated these kids from day 1. I know a lot of people want to acknowledge that it's not unreasonable for Kipperlily and the rat grinders to think the school is run unfairly (and you're right! it's a fair conclusion)

-- but we also gotta consider that this is something that took root in her VERY EARLY. Before the bad kids got really very good. Two bad kids die on the first day of school, they spend a significant amount of their second semester freshman year just. In Prison.

Of course what follows I'm sure spurs that hatred, but she all but declared Riz to be her nemesis with Jawbone freshman year.

She's probably got some good ideas of how stuff should change, but also she saw this random Goblin boy with a briefcase in rogue class and decided she Hates Him, for a reason none of us can fathom when several of the other bad kids give off worst first impressiona

She's a teenager, a kid, with anger issues. As much as their can be important nuggets at the core of her motives, she's a teenager without emotional regulation skills. That combination is BUILT to breed resentment and feelings of entitlement. and it's built to actively ignore any evidence of a different perspective.

We talk about how she doesn't understand them, takes Kristen as entirely uncaring, doesn't expect the bad kids to do so well in the Last Stand

and OF COURSE she doesn't. some of this because she of course is not privy to all of the bad kids interactions that we are as an audience. but a lot of it is probably because she's a teenager who's decided she's being slighted and as a result is never going to take the bad kids actions on good faith. she's doubled down and while I have a feeling she's extremely perceptive, she's also in an emotional place that means she probably is ACTIVELY ignoring any evidence to the fact that maybe the bad kids are just ALSO working very hard, and that the school itself may also work against them sometimes.

Add to that a god corrupted into rage (negative in this case) and conquest, and a nefarious faculty member as a potentially directly manipulative adult in her life trying to make something big and destructive happen. Kipperlily strikes me as the kind of person who knows she's smart, and knows she's clever, but is so blinded by her emotion that she is probably missing some of whats clearly in front of her as far as all the Jace business goes. She certainly is about the bad kids.

Jawbone can only do so much to help her in her sessions if he's being actively worked against. Emotional regulation is hard to learn from zero AS AN ADULT and she's probably coming from the negatives if my impression is correct, and is doing so as a teenager.

I guess what I'm trying to say is like

In a vacuum? Sure augeforts comment about trying being stupid or whatever does seem like another slap in the face for Kipperlily, one that justifies some of her feelings.

But not about the bad kids. and not to the extent she has taken them.

And to take that at its word feels weird to me because. To anybody paying attention? The bad kids are and have been trying SO SO hard in class. Them having to take the last stand in the FIRST place is specifically because the school system is treating Kristen unfairly DESPITE her best, GOOD efforts. I'm certain the rat grinders are on some level aware of Gorgugs EXTREMELY uphill battle with schoolwork this season, even if it's just Maryann catching part of a convo with Porter or Ruben hearing about it from his uncle. I HIGHLY doubt that Oisin was oblivious to the way that Adaines academics were affected by her not having the money for the correct materials - she still was able to excel mostly but the effects of that roll being at disadvantage for so long are still THERE. Jawbone pinned down and mentioned to Riz his similarities to Kipperlily within maybe 2 seconds - there is 0% chance he hasn't brought something similar up in Kipperlilys sessions. She may not like it, she may not have the emotional intelligence to see it this way, but his efforts almost certainly mirror hers in a way that makes them equally hard workers, absolutely determined to keep themselves afloat despite it being an uphill battle. Something that she feels she deserves to be rewarded for, and to an extent implies that if just a few circumstances were different she would be able to see equal value in his work.

And sure you can say she may be able to see that and be angry that their work is rewarded and hers isn't, but we see time and time again that she and her party don't always put that same level of work in? Mary Ann at blood rush, absolutely uncaring but doing well specifically because she's got some magical enhancements. The suspicious circumstances of Kipperlily finding the Rogue teacher. Even just the natural advantage of Oisin having more than the funds he needs to excel in wizard class.

But even regardless of that, she seems to refuse to see that any scenario in which others are praised for the same thing she's done, while she is ignored etc, is the sole responsibility of the school here. the bad kids are not her enemies in that fight - augefort is. The bad kids are not going around being consistently given advantages from the school, they're earning the things they get and hitting their own academic road blocks, and they aren't acting better than other people in a way that goes beyond like. Teen stuff. And yet her sights are trained so unblinking on them.

I can see Fabian and Kristen's popularity and personalities coming off like it supports that they're being treated better or feel some superiority. And it's teen stuff to quietly hate those ppl at your school! it's p normal!

But it always brings me back to her SPECIFICALLY hating Riz. Bc Riz isn't a rich kid throwing parties that everyone loves. Hes not sniping out comebacks the way Kristen does, sometimes without even thinking. In a lot of ways he's the/one of the least abrasive of the group to an outsider. Which makes me SO much more inclined to call bullshit that this is truly, honestly rooted in an acknowledgement of any of the REAL problems that come up with their school system.

It's complex, but I feel like we can't exalt their perspective as a Truth of the world like it seems some folks do when these characters themselves do not play fairly. What is fair about the way they interfered with the exam. What is fair about what she did so easily to Buddy Dawn. What is fair about the murder of the couple that owned that farm. Depending on what happened - what is fair from them about Lucy's murder. Certainly what is fair about their hand in Yolandas.

This idea that things are unfair isn't untrue. But not in the ways she thinks, and shes moved so far beyond that notion at this point. Kipperlily probably DOES believe that she's uniquely a victim of this system, or at least that everyone but the bad kids is. But she's moved so far beyond that. Whatever divine rage magic is involved has ensured that, as well as probably some Adult manipulation, and severely underdeveloped emotional regulation skills. and for me that means like. obviously she is unjustified in her actions.

Augefort is absolutely unhinged. his school has never been run in a manner that rewards buckling down in the classroom and the classroom only. It's an adventuring school in truly the most chaotic and violence rewarding sense, and that information is given freely by Arthur augefort at maybe any turn

Saw something about the theoretical being just as important as the practical. and yes! absolutely! a very good point that I'm glad was brought up - going to the classes is important and I think this season has really emphasized the ways in which that's true at least in terms of Staying in School and Honing your Skills

I do think, in the same breath, that that STILL means that the practical is ALSO just as important as the theoretical. It CAN'T be one or the other, it HAS to be both.

and the bad kids are DOING both. regardless of what it may count for, the rat grinders xp leveling by continuing to do freshman level combat in order to excel more on paper ISN'T them really doing the practical part of what theyre learning in their higher level classes. And the bad kids do not get credit for their saving of the world REGARDLESS. Not on its own merit, and to get the credit they'd have to jump a hefty academic bar that sort of invalidates the point of practical efforts in the first place, not to mention works against students like Fig and Kristen.

The school is actively rewarding Kipperlily and her party's cheat code practical use of their skills, over the bad kids putting just as much if not more effort into their LITERALLY WORLD SAVING missions. whatever favoritism shes seeing, or that there may be occasionally, Kipperlily fundamentally takes the bad kids in bad faith. It's not ABOUT what is ACTUALLY unfair to her at this point.

from her perspective every accolade or accomplishment from them HAS to come from favoritism in order to fit how her view of whats actually unfair has been warped. for her it doesn't MATTER that they've been trying because they MUST not be trying as hard as she is. it doesn't matter that they visibly saved the world three times, one of which was livestreamed and included several party members dropping, successfully because surely it's a fluke, or they were given better opportunities than others for no reason, or they're being falsely worshipped for what MUST be a less dangerous quest than it seems (despite us seeing clearly on the first day of school that nobody is putting a pedestal up for their night yorb win)

What could have been a justified spark of frustration with a system has shifted into a vengeful sense of entitlement that to me? fully abandons the good of wanting to change a school system actively working against some (/all?) students.

idk maybe this all sounds like jibberish I just

Kipperlily in her current state is INCAPABLE of not underestimating the bad kids bc that would require some acknowledgement that they have worked and bled and died to reach the level they're at.

You cannot separate the girl who sneaks in to the Last Stand to sabotage another party's chances of passing, of staying at school, of continuing school, of one of them from potentially keeping their god alive, and of being brought back from what she assumes is certain death - from the slighted teenager running for class president to make things "more fair"

you cannot separate the girl who easily slits her own party clerics throat without second thought from the girl who thinks she's been slighted by an unjust system

What she means by unfair is inherently colored by her being that same person

Augefort can say whatever nonsense he wants, and it doesn't really justify her current frustrations at this point because her version of fair is fundamentally unfair now.

Shes a child who's become corrupted, just like Buddy. but unlike him - she's become genuinely nefarious and vengeful. Unlike buddy she is actively plotting. Harming others with full knowledge of it. We don't know how much of it comes from her on her own, or the rage baking underground, or Stardiamonds direct involvement - but I think this most recent episode should make it clear that like

Whatever truth there is to the school being run in a way that is unfair to its students, and regardless of what she says or thinks

Kipperlily Copperkettle is not operating from that grounded perspective. and I don't think she has been for a long time

[elegantballetalk]

LOL, why is Joy Womack a judge? Who owed her a favor? Who did the girl pay?

The Prix de Lausanne has become a competition to see who is the skinniest.

Nice to see some shorter dancers; look how good, on average, their petit allegro is.

Oh my, you can always spot the American and Australian-trained dancers because of their obsession with constant, teeth-jarring smiling. Please stop.

Why are people in the comments saying there’s no diversity? It seems to me there’s a huge amount of amazing Korean, Japanese, and Chinese dancers.

You can tell who’s not Vaganova-trained, LOL. I feel bad for them.

It’s obvious to me who will not be chosen for the finals, but I wonder if these dancers that we all know won’t win, know it as well. Do they know it? Are they there out of delusion, hope, or for the opportunity to be seen?

There is more emphasis on being skinny and having long limbs than on having hyperextended knees and arched feet. Interesting.

The average level of the Asian dancers is higher. However, many seem to lack artistry, but many compensate for that with good musicality and long limbs.

There’s a general lack of musicality, lack of use of the back, no use of cambré, and lack of use of the eyes.

I wonder if students actually learn something from these classes. The combinations are so fast, and there are absolutely no specific corrections—just generalized reminders.

It gives me great satisfaction when the variation coach gives them the same corrections I would give them.

Some of these variations are a disaster. There’s no way the coach has enough time to fix most of it. Pity.

If you don’t end up a finalist, I think the Prix is useless and a waste of time and money. Yet, being a finalist doesn’t necessarily mean that much either. It’s luck, I guess. But it can’t hurt to win. Obviously.

I hate how they coach the variations. I wish there were long group coaching sessions for each variation. What are they going to take away from just a few minutes? No. It gives me anxiety. This way of coaching variations just favors those who already have good teachers with them.

Myrna Kamara is the definition of a pretty dancer but a bad teacher. If I had her daily, I would go insane.

The way Élisabeth Platel gives class is so fast, but there’s logic and flow to her class. She seems like she doesn’t care, though. Hopefully, she’s different in real life.

The Prix really has some lovely costumes.

You can tell that European/American ballet schools don’t abuse their students as much as Russian/Asian schools. The level at which these Asian dancers are taking class is just so much higher.

These variations are too short. There’s no way to test stamina.

Is this stage raked? It better be.

I wish there were female and male categories. What’s the point of having junior and senior categories?

My toxic trait is skipping all the contemporary and male stuff.

hahahah I don’t watch competitions. But whole heartedly agree with your last point, I don’t care about the boys at all either unless I find them truly exceptional.

I would agree that it’s more an opportunity rather than a teaching moment, it takes time to get adjusted to a new teacher and her style, and classes are too big to offer life changing advice. But of course, it can’t hurt to get some practice in, absorb new tecnique inputs and take class with other talented girls. It’s sad that the girls have become so lean, I wish they knew how harmful it can be in the long term for their health, personal life, social life and future careers. It’s sad to see the problem ignored by the adults which should be protecting these talented kids.

I know, the American grin stapled on their face is so funny and disturbing. It’s cause they’re so focused on competitions that they forget that ballet is not a two minute long variation pageant show 😂

[camilladraymarch]

Homeschooling is an incredible tool that can easily be abused.

As a child, I have been homeschooled ever since kindergarten, except for a brief period in third grade when my father was deployed and my mom couldn't handle three rowdy kids and sent me to an actual school.

I learned nothing of note in that year, except that my specific interests were weird and I would be ostracized for them. Far from enjoying socialization, I learned to keep to myself and even more determinedly read and generally sink deeper into the hobbies I was made fun of for. It likely didn't help that I was more emotionally stable than the girls my age and didn't want to deal with the "you're my friend, I hate you, maybe you're okay, I'M SO SORRY" drama, while the boys were still at a stage where girls were gross and didn't want to play with me at recess.

My teachers were also not prepared to deal with a neuroatypical child who just wanted to wander around the classroom and needed learning breaks in order to take new information in and understand it. Being forced to sit at a desk for hours every day was torture and I was unable to stim because there was no space for me to move and I was "disruptive" when I wanted to.

I couldn't snack when I wanted. I couldn't move when I wanted, and I couldn't take breaks. I was extremely unhappy.

I was fully ready to return to homeschooling by the end of the year.

We were well socialized. My brothers have deep bonds with their friend groups while my specific combination of neuroses means I preferred to be alone with the books that I began writing as early as 10. We went to co-op classes for subjects our mother thought we would benefit from, were enrolled in sports at the local YMCA, and were USAA swimmers.

At 16, I trained to be a lifeguard, which was a role I would follow until I graduated college and transitioned to my career. I was a boon to my employers and organized many events among the younger lifeguards.

In high school, I started taking dual credits at a local community college and I never struggled academically or socially, graduating from community college with a 3.5 GPA on my college courses and a 4.0 GPA on my co-op and parentally-driven courses.

In addition, my parents have passed various life skills to me - such as creating a household budget, doing taxes, and cleaning and cooking for myself. These are skills I see a large percentage of adults online have not mastered or even seem to be aware are necessary.

I make friends easily, I am deeply creative, and there is nothing wrong with my life. If I had to choose, I would not be publicly schooled, and if I'm lucky enough to have children, I will consider myself a failure as a parent if I don't give them the same choices and freedoms I had as a child.

With that said, not everyone and not every parent should be a homeschooler. But we do not deserve to be dismissed as uneducated or socially inept.

thoughts on homeschoolers?

DURRRRRRRR. DOOUIIIIIIII

[livecharliereaction]

I do really hope darumi gets like. serious at some point <- worries of a guy whos spent the best routes so far WITHOUT HER

Like i hope the other routes have her AROUND enough (probably. big ass cast u can always kill someone else). Because she seems very real to me this is how some kids start acting to cope... shes not quiet about her trauma either but its always played off as her being kind of annoying (bcs of the way she brings it up) (but to me it feels VERY common for a kid to process it like that... a little attention-seeking and in situations where it doesnt really fit... she tries to play it off as jokes to make it seem less tragic for herself...)

but yeah about the. some of these mfs DONT really act like teenagers (in comparison)... Well Knowing theyre all like. born today... how many memories can you fit in a brain... i remember they said theyre all supposed to be teenagers because of shions dream of school life but some of the backstories dont fit at all

but darumi specifically. feels like ive MET her when i was younger... she couldve been in my class n shit...

another one is kako and ima like ok lets. well i almost see it as a rose bride kind of thing (kakos lack of agency at the start + ima truly thinking hes doing the best for the BOTH of them + he literally calls himself a prince... + kako cant bring herself to despise him for it + that death line of his... ill get to it)

but anyway the reason i dont COMPLETELY hate ima is that to me he comes off as a seriously misguided kid more than anything else... more than a Malicious Adult Male... ive only done One bond event of his (where he says theyre the only middle schoolers. which tracks) but even his offhand lines you can tell hes had to do a lot to "keep her (well, both of them) safe" (The prostitution) so these facts combined i kind of feel bad for him.

But more for HER. The best part is whenever kako STOPS completely going along with it (because of her own strength but also because. At the end of the day imas just some kid bruh he cant *really* truly control her as much as he hopes... Lol...)

BUT YEAH ABOUT THE 2ND SCENARIO DEATH LINES: holy shit. ima saying he wishes to be reborn as twins (their current arrangement where he feels he has control) or as parent-child (this surprised me because he hasnt *explicitly said* anything like it before... but you understand the control of The Nuclear Father...) or as lovers (to which i read as. heterosexual dynamic where he would *STILL* have The Control in his mind) THE TRIPLE COMBO

Im really happy that he died BEFORE kako for me because i got to witness this slap of a line and then it pans to kako and. SHE DOESNT MENTION HIM AT ALL. NOT EVEN OFFHAND. she says she wishes she got to be a detective like she dreamed. zero mention of ima its WILD. kako its ok kill your brother you will be reborn as a lotus flower

A lot of the rest of them backstories are kind of strange so i suppose it makes sense i dont really grasp what the hells going on. LIKE: yugamus bothering me. are you a joke+plot utility (#poison #surgery) character or are you Lowkey A Person

Eito and nozomi both being sort of raised in this clinical environment is another thing i really feel like they have some parallels between the two Plus both are like.

I mentioned eito a bunch already u understand. Nozomis obviously easier to get along with (everyone likes her) but theres something about her man. Shes like. Too perfect. But in an interesting way... Perfect dead wife who loves you AND accepts every decision you make AND wants the best for everyone... Its been uncanny.

So im really interested in being in a route where takumi fucks up SO MAJORLY LOL and she HATES OUR GUTSSSSS i really love it. Please dont be a joke route please please i have no clue what route this is btw

(trying to make such a big distinction between "joke routes" and "serious routes" isnt productive but you know what i mean. story ones with free time padded in VS those kind of goofy ones that just go on once you lock to it and have like 10 little branches at the end. looking at multiple eitos + romance) (I DIDNT HATE EITHER OF THEM! romance was kind of boring to me but multiple eitos got the thoughts RUNNING so anythings possible)

[norangeyyy]

Late Night HCs

Bucci Gang Edition

TW: nothing too extreme, just a little bit of hurt/comfort stuff sprinkled right here and there.

Bruno Bucciarati

► Bucciarati typically doesn't stay up late at night, he has work and would squeeze all the amount of sleep he can get on his free time.

► Unless he has a lot of things in mind.

► It doesn't matter whether it's a work-related problem, his past, a random thought, or just generally his worries about his future. It will keep him up.

► He'll definitely need someone to be an outlet but if no one's available, he'll just stare at the night sky and distract himself with the moving clouds or finish some of his work until he's too tired to think of anything.

► If you happen to be in the same situation and same place that night though, then make sure that you take care of the trust he has for you when he was at most vulnerable and he will do same with you.

► I personally headcannon Bucciarati to be the type to like those kind of conversations since i highly doubt that he has been so vulnerable in front of anyone besides Abbachio ever since he joined the mafia.

► And even then, he's mostly the one who lifts the spirits up and not the other way around since he's the leader.

► So expect to hear things and words you wouldn't expect to come from the Bucciarati you see everyday come spilling out of his mouth, it'll be a lot.

► Pat his back or better yet, give him a hug and brush his hair while doing so. He needs it a lot since he hasn't really got one after his family fell apart.

► "I feel so much better now, thank you. I'll make sure not to forget about this night. "

Leone Abbachio

► The night owl of the gang.

► Staying up until 3AM is nothing new to this man, hell, he could even go on a whole day without sleep if he has a lot of things that's bothering him.

► He's the opposite of Bucciarati, he prefers to shoulder his intrusive thoughts alone. It'd take some great amount of effort and trust to make him talk and let it out.

► What he does during those times is either using his stand to replay certain memories that could either worsen his guilt or put him at ease, or just drink until he passes out but most of the time, he does both.

► He could also be listening to some music while he does so but if he's feeling guilty for making Bucciarati concerned about his frequent drinking, then he'll just listen to music and hope that he'll fall asleep and not just keep his eyes closed until the sun rises.

► It works, kind of, but even without alcohol driving him to sleep, he'll always be tired. His sleeping schedule is seriously messed up because he never really cared about it in the first place.

► Would sometimes go out for a walk. Leone is fond of the city's peacefulness when everyone is asleep, with the only thing keeping him accompany is the cold air and the dim light of the lampposts.

► Secretly still has his police uniform and would occasionally take it out just to stare at it or talk to it in a not-so-kind of way as he sees his younger self in it.

► Gets dragged in whatever shit Narancia and the others are up to if he gets spotted. Mostly it's just for a movie night behind Bucciarati's back but Abbachio knows better and expects the unexpected when it comes to the gang.

► Knows what everyone does in late night if they're still up and has seen a lot of ungodly sights.

► Whether it be seeing a sleepy Mista and the pistols chanting a weird prayer to a bowl of cereals or Fugo being dragged out of his room by Narancia, Leone knows it.

Pannacotta Fugo

► Just like Bucciarati, Fugo rarely stays up late at night and if he does, it's usually just because he's busy.

► Fugo has hobbies like painting and reading, everyone in the gang knows that. It's just that he gets carried way too far sometimes and loses track of time.

► Who could blame him though when the book he's reading is just too interesting or the painting he's currently working on is almost done, right?

► On extremely rare occasions where something unpleasant enough to keep Fugo up at night happens, he'll bundle himself in his fluffy blanket like a butterfly in its cocoon.

► He always does this back when he's still living with his parents, it makes him feel safe from anything that's haunting him.

► And if it's neither his hobbies or problems that's keeping him up, he'll just hear Narancia whispering outside his door or Mista throwing pebbles at his window.

► For the first few times the duo did this, Fugo was still able to resist until he just can't anymore knowing that they wouldn't leave him alone all night.

► "Well, this isn't so bad. "

► He says as he enthusiastically tosses a popcorn into his mouth with his eyes glued all over the lit screen of the TV.

► Movie nights, along with sneaking out to go the nearest convenience store, became a common thing between the Torture Dance Trio™ ever since then.

Narancia Ghirga

► The type to wake up in the middle of the night and think "Hmm... Everyone's asleep, let's commit robbery tonight!"

► Fugo's sleep paralysis demon.

► Would literally not hesitate to steal chocolate bars with Mista and probably does 3AM challenges with him too.

► Never runs out of ideas to keep himself up at night and is the one who comes up with everything but what he does still depends on his mood.

► If Narancia's feeling a little too lazy then he'll just sleep and most of the time, with music keeping him accompany. But unlike Abbachio, he purposely doesn't wear headphones just to annoy Fugo whose room is right next to his.

► If he's feeling like it, he'll straight up just invite the others to watch a movie or play videogames even though Bruno has already made it clear not to use the TV after 11PM.

► But just as he likes staying up at night doing crazy things with the boys, he also uses his energy left and free time to self-study, as surprising that may sound.

► He may hate reading but he takes advantage of the fact that his brain is much active at night and he doesn't want to depend on Fugo too much. After all, he dreams on going back to school and he's more than willing to be capable enough to do so alone and pass without the other teen's help.

► Will cuddle anything that's near him while he studies but if you give him a plushie, it'll be instantly his favorite and he would definitely use it as a study buddy.

Guido Mista

► Alright, let's be honest here, this dude wouldn't even stay up if it weren't for his bros.

► 5 seconds lying on the bed and he's already knocked out for a good 10 hours if there's no work he has to do for the day. Make it 8 at weekdays thanks to his mafia-related responsibilities.

► He sleeps like a log so only a combination of shaking him up awake with Fugo and Narancia can make him rise from what seems like a two year coma but is really just a normal tuesday night.

► Will pretty much join Narancia at anything he does but since his last three brain cells are obviously still as half asleep as him, he won't be able to remember that much the next day.

► And once he's out of the room and is already sitting on the couch with the guys, Mista's the type to fall asleep halfway through the movie.

► You can't blame him though, it's 12AM and it seems that Fugo got to choose what movie they'll watch since Narancia already got to choose the other night.

► Unless they're playing videogames or are going out then he won't be acting like a slow ass PVZ zombie with a fried brain. Actually, he'll be hella active if that's the case.

► Active at grabbing every snack each second, that is.

► Actually, it's the pistols who does that but oh well, it's not like Mista's innocent too.

► "I swear it's not me who ate all of our groceries for this month! Right, guys?! It's the pistols! "

► And that, everyone, is how Guido blew their little rendezvous without even trying.

Giorno Giovanna

► There's not much to be said about this boy since just like Mista, Giorno goes to bed early as he makes sure he still gets the proper amount of sleep.

► He already has a lot of things to deal with at day so of course, by the end of it, he'll be exhausted.

► Nights before exams are excluded because although he may seem like he skips class sometimes, Giorno still knows his priorities.

► Only when he became the head of the mafia did he really started to lose sleep as great power comes with great responsibilities.

► It took a LONG time for Giorno to adjust to a lot of things cause come on, he maybe resilient but he's still a 15 year old teen.

► Not only does he have towers after towers of work but i like to imagine that he still continued his education and used some of the things he learns in class in the mafia, specifically in classes like history or geography class since as a boss, he has to know every nook and cranny of Italy.

► Not to mention that emergencies happen and he always has to be ready to give out orders, even if it means being woken up at 1AM.

► God, help this child because all the things mentioned above are just an understatement of what happens on the first few months of being in charge of Passione.

► "So this is why Diavolo looks like he's about to explode whenever something goes wrong huh. "

[eveningscoolandquiet]

Coming back to this to talk seriously about how much Ghost means to me, this is gonna be a LONG one. Content warning: discussion of religious trauma, kinda venty in parts but it’s all old news I am safe and fine I promise 🫶🏻

I was raised by emotionally abusive parents in a very toxic conservative Christian community. I want to make it clear this was not a cult, my family was Christian and I attended a school that was Christian and we lived in a geographically isolated small town. The combination of these things resulted in an environment for me growing up that I think had a similar impact to me that growing up in cults does to cult survivors but it was NOT a cult and that is an important distinction.

From the time I was born up until I was 12 years old and starting high school (I’m Australian) there was essentially no part of my life that was separate from religion. From Christianity specifically. I did not have a single meaningful conversation with a non-Christian for the first dozen years of my life and as such I considered myself a devout Christian. Not just considered; I was. More often than not I’d be the one getting out of bed Sunday morning telling my parents we had to get ready for church and being upset if we didn’t go. I knew my scripture. I followed the rules. Heck I was even school captain of my extremely religious primary school.

I was also miserable. I cannot recall a single joyful memory from those years of my life. I’m sure they existed somewhere, just too fleeting to make a lasting impression. What I do remember is the constant feelings of guilt, shame and fear that haunted me constantly. Because I was terrified everything I did wouldn’t be enough. That I’d go to hell because I was a smart kid, because I had trouble trusting authority figures, because I couldn’t “trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding”. I desperately wanted to! But how is a child supposed to have absolute faith in an unknown being in the sky when they’re constantly punished for having faith in the adults they know around them?

So I was a devout Christian, but I was bad at it. How did I compensate for that? By doubling down. I’d parrot whatever weird conservative talking points my relatives spouted so long as they had backed it up with scripture. I started spending my Friday nights at a youth Bible study group that my friends who had much more positive feelings about our shared religion invited me to (spoiler: I hated it, and the people that ran it were creepy). Yet I would avoid ever having to publicly display my faith, when the other school captain and I gave speeches at assemblies I specifically made sure he would read the prayer section, just in case someone somehow heard my words shake and started accusing me of what my brain constantly did: that it wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t love God enough.

And when my parents decided that I would change schools for high school rather than going straight on to the senior school at the same campus? I was terrified. I remember crying, hugging my friend and asking if she thought me going to a different school would change my personality or my religious views. She said maybe to personality but definitely not to religion. She got it completely backwards.

So I started at a new school and was pretty much immediately the weird religious kid. There were other Christians in the school, it was still a Christian school, but it was just one aspect of their lives rather than their Entire Life. We sung hymns, we said the Lord’s Prayer in assembly and Grace at meals, we had communion each term but there was no mandatory religion class, you could opt out of taking communion without anyone harassing you for it, no one would snitch on you for not saying a prayer. Atheists and agnostics could openly state their belief without being persecuted for it. It was all so fucking new to me.

Pretty quickly I realized that the picture that had been painted for me of what life without God is like and the way “worldly” people act was completely at odds with reality. When I was 13 I remember asking one of the youth leaders at the Friday Bible study (some poor unpaid 17yo) how there could be good people who aren’t Christian and bad people who are. She was not equipped to answer that question. Shortly after that I stopped going to Bible study.

By the time I was 14 I stopped identifying as Christian (I also realized I was queer which added a whole other dimension to things). And by the time I was 15 I told my parents I no longer wanted to go to church. They threatened to kick me out. So I kept going to church against my will. I was swiftly ostracized by the leaders of said church, told I was being cruel and yelled at for the ‘stress I was causing my mother’. All for having a difference in belief that (at this point) I had not even begun to actually vocalize, I had simply asked to no longer attend church.

I kept attending church until I was 18 when my parents felt they couldn’t ‘reasonably’ force me anymore. I also came out to them around this same time (conversion therapy is legal in my state so I was not willing to take that risk by coming out earlier), which went as well as I could have hoped for, so not very but I wasn’t kicked out.

Context over let’s talk about Ghost. I found Ghost in 2020 in perhaps the most bizarre, niche way possible. A YouTube fanimatic for the graphic novel The Arcana (you can watch it here). I had already done a lot of deconstructing the worldview and belief system I had been indoctrinated into and was fairly comfortable identifying as pagan (which I still do), even if it wasn’t exactly public knowledge. I went through Ghost’s discography and absolutely adored it but remained a pretty casual listener for years until my ritual in October 2023.

Oh boy. My friend and I had run late and arrived literally as Imperium was playing. We were at the very back of the mosh pit and could not see a damn thing. And it was one of the best nights of my life. The first half of the concert went by fairly uneventfully (which is to say extremely eventfully, it was so fucking fantastic) and then it got to He Is and something in my head just clicked.

I had already made the connection before this point that part of my love for Ghost stemmed from emotional catharsis at its similarity yet juxtaposition to the Christian Rock songs I grew up with and now can’t hear without feeling nauseous. But in that moment, in a crowded, sweaty arena lit up by phone lights, I realized that THIS was the feeling of joy in praise and in community that I had missed out on all those years. I might not be a Satanist but goddamn if “He’s the shining and the light without whom I cannot see, and He is insurrection, He is spite, He’s the force that made me be” didn’t feel like something I myself had written.

Ghost/TF manages so powerfully to put into words the thoughts and feelings that I have never been able to eloquently express. Their music gives me so much comfort and solace and makes me feel seen and understood in a way I never have before. Whether it’s their tracks that are pretty overtly critical of organized religion/Christianity (e.g. Cirice, Idolatrine, Spillways, Griftwood) or their more lighthearted songs that subvert Christian rhetoric (e.g. Satan Prayer, “I am the way” in Jigolo Har Megiddo), they all help me process externally what I’ve gotten very used to ruminating over painfully internally. I am endlessly grateful to Ghost/TF for that.

I am ALSO endlessly grateful to the fandom on here. While I’m typically a chronic lurker I am constantly amazed by the compassion and empathy present in this community (as well as the constant high-caliber of art and fanfic here). It feels silly to say but seeing people genuinely love and celebrate these characters with traits I’m used to seeing vilified is actually really therapeutic and reassuring. You’re all wonderful and I’m so glad you’re here.

If anyone actually reads this long-ass spiel: thank you, I love you. And if anyone relates to my experience remember “you will never walk alone”, you’re doing amazing, we’ve got this 💞

I‘m tired of the negativity Ghost fandom. I think you should reblog this post and add something to the tags that you love about Ghost, about the fandom itself or about the works of the person you reblogged it from ♡

[elysianslove]

hi eli bby !! its me vio again shhshf

i loved ur vball player crush hcs w miya twins && suna and can i have that too w sakusa, semi && shirabu ? MY UNDERRATED BOYS CRIES SM <//3 thank u sm <33

hiiiii my love!!! tysm for requesting these boys i love them so much. i hope you like this lysm <3

sakusa kiyoomi 

considering what i’ve seen in the anime, and some manga panels, i really don’t think omi’s a peoples person. so even in school, i doubt he was very involved with other students, and probably kept to himself 

he’s also hyper-aware of his surroundings constantly, including the people around him, so the fact that he noticed you wasn’t a shock

it’s that he noticed you, and then he couldn’t stop thinking about you

probably had some dream about you that same night that cursed him with a crush on you yk the dreams i’m talking about right? 

he still continues to keep to himself, and whenever he spots you from his peripheral vision he just dashes out of there. he realizes that forcing himself to act normally around you might actually improve his situation and help him get over whatever this stupid crush was but he was not taking any chances

he also knew nothing about you, just your last name! 

so anyways both the boys and girls vbc’s are heading the same school, so they got one bus for the both of you and combined them. 

because his general dislike for crowds, omi usually sits out in the front, especially because the door to the bus is right next to him. idk he just seems like the kind to map out an escape plan for every room/vehicle he enters i don’t have a reason why i think so

the game was happening on a weekend, really early, like way too early, so it wasn’t a surprise that you were tired. it’s an unspoken rule that those who sit in the back make a lotta noise and all that, so you opted for the front seats instead to at least try and rest a bit before the game

you don’t sit directly next to him, but there’s only an aisle separating the two of you

because, yk, manners, you give him a small smile before saying, “good morning!” and settling in your seat, your bag between your legs

omi on god freezes up lmfao

he doesn’t mean to sound so rude but it just comes out that way! he says something along the lines of “what are you doing here?” and immediately regrets it after it leaves his lips. he visibly cringes 

but instead of being thrown off, you just laugh, and sakusa curses everything behind his mask because holy shit were you gorgeous and wow was his stomach just somersaulting 

not a nice feeling 

you explain to him briefly that you’re on the vbc and you were heading to play the girls of the same school he was gonna play against and all that, and he just hums and nods and tries to ignore the thump thump thump of his heart 

you don’t really interact during the bus ride going to, it’s coming back that you do 

you tell him that you managed to glimpse the last bit of his game, where he was landing a spike, and you complimented his skills and pointed out his freakish wrist move 

he noted that he didn’t get to see you play and your brain went opportunity! 

you go “well maybe you should come to one of my dates” like the absolute smooth talker you are 

omi just hums and goes “i’ll see” 

absolutely is there lol

the development into a relationship is more implicit than explicit. the two of you don’t announce to the world, but honestly, neither do you do it to yourselves. like you’d been on a coffee date with him at some point and your parent or sibling texted something you found funny and mentioned him as your boyfriend and you showed it to him and he was like

hm

am i your boyfriend 

like idk am i your girlfriend 

he said yeah obviously 

i love this boy so fucking much pleaseeeee

but yes just as your development into a couple is subtle, so is your overall relationship. and honestly? you wouldn’t have it any other way

semi eita

omg pretty setter semi eeee

so yk how shiratorizawa students live in dorms? there’s no way semi hasn’t noticed you before, even if it’s separate dorms for different genders. like you two probably come across each other every once in a while at a vending machine or something, and exchange a word or two 

it’s not until when semi starts to look forward to seeing you, or when he gets disappointed every time you don’t make an appearance, that he realizes, you know, he’s kinda developed a liking to you

he doesn’t really know much about you, aside your name and your favorite go-to snack from the vending machine, so he’s left a little frustrated at the lack of interactions you two have. like he’s just living off that small laugh of acknowledgment and the hi, hope you sleep well! you know? like he wants more from you. he wants to get to know you

he can’t seem to ever see you in school either, because the stars hate him that much and don’t wanna align for the two of you, not even a little to share one class with him. just one

it’s just his luck, though, when a busy weekend for all the sports teams comes along, and each sport is sectioned off to a bus. volleyball boys and girls in one bus, swimming boys and girls in one bus, etc. 

he really doesn’t expect it when you get on the bus, because what the fuck you play volleyball??? and then he really doesn’t expect it when you recognize him, gasp and grin, and wave at him, and go over to sit by him

his brain’s short-circuiting 

you immediately start conversation as you’re setting your bag down like “i didn’t know you played volleyball!”

and he laughs and nods like “i didn’t know you did either” 

it’s honestly a really cute and satisfying moment like okay maybe the stars were just taking their time aligning thank you universe 

the two of you click immediately. like annoyingly so. you have so much in common, and you spend the entire ride chatting excitedly about everything and semi’s wishing he’d just asked you to hang out way sooner, like as early as the first time you’d met at that vending machine 

the girls’ games finish a lot later than the boys, so he comes and watches you play, and is enamored by you, completely. in his head he’s just ‘this girl just keeps growing more perfect.’

he walks back with you to the bus, and sits next to you as well. when you arrive back at the school, you don’t immediately go to your dorms, and he suggests grabbing a refreshing drink from somewhere nearby

it’s incredible how you still have so much to talk about 

the time passes really quick with him

it’s while you’re having that drink with him, probably iced tea or boba or something, he tells you about his small passion for music, and you make him promise to play you something at some point. he loops his pinky with yours :)

he also confides in you about having been replaced on his last year, and how he tries not to let it affect him but he really can’t help him. from then on, after each of your practices, you invite him in your gym, and have him set to you, just so you both have an excuse to spend time with each other, and so that he gets to practice and play the way he really wants to, without any restrictions placed upon him and no one waiting to take his place

i think as a couple you’d probably really bring out the best in each other, and you’re constantly always, always there for each other. really, really reliant and supportive as partners, you know? 

you go to all his games, and whenever he’s pitched in, you scream his name the loudest and cheer him on so much. one look at your face, and he’s reminded of who he is and why he does what he does, and he’s immediately grounded aw <3

shirabu kenjirō

omg shirabu with a crush 🥺🤲🏼 i love it when characters seem so cold and standoffish but as soon as they’re around the people they care about they do a 180. that’s shirabu 100%

he really, really, really liked you. like it was embarrassing at this point. he totally denied it every time anyone even thought it, and he really tried his hardest not to be obvious around you

i like to think he saw you around school and that’s how it developed a little, but maybe you were friends with some of the vbc boys because of your shared interest in the sport, and you come to play with them sometimes after practice, he’d just never be there

but one time you walked in and he was like guess im not leaving 

he was a little starstruck at the fact that you played volleyball. he honestly wouldn’t care, but it sorta felt nice that there really was something that you two had in common

and you were good. at everything. you received semi and ushijima’s serves, and goshiki’s and ōhira’s spikes, perfectly, and reacted to tendō’s blocks so well, and hit his tosses just right. you were incredible. maybe your skills were magnified from his specific lens, but there really was no denying you were skilled 

damn this. all this. 

especially any time you’d spike his toss and give him a really wide smile and say, “nice toss!” like seriously the way his heart’s spasming cannot be healthy what the fuck 

and then he finds out the girls are sharing a bus with them, and then you walk in

and then you walk towards him

obviously, outwardly he looks unimpressed and unfazed but trust, his palms are sweaty as fuck 

before the bus moves, you stand by his seat and make small talk with him about volleyball, before you realize the bus is moving and you have to sit down, but you’re still in the middle of a conversation with him, so you just sit next to him and continue like nothing happened

he just. allows it. 

the school you’d been going to had a really big court where both the girls and boys were playing in the same gymnasium on opposite sides of the court, so when you arrived and changed and all, you were like “wanna warm up together” couple goals <3

pls semi, taichi and tendō would probably tease the fuck out of him lmfao. he’d just glare at them but he has such a big blush on his cheeks as he stretches and warms up with you that the glare is completely ineffective 

you go to sit next to him on the bus ride home, but the day’s exhaustion catches up to you, plus the bus’s movements are lulling you, so you end up falling asleep on his shoulder, and when shirabu first notices that you’d actually fallen asleep, he looks down at you with such a dreamy and awestruck face. goshiki took a picture and likes to torment him with it. shirabu has it as his lockscreen now lol 

as your boyfriend, he’s the exact same. very standoffish to everyone outwardly but to you? it’s a different story. 

nonetheless it’s not very obvious. so yes, he will have a scowl on his face as he tells you off, but his lips are slightly upturned and there’s a little pink shade on his cheeks that show just how endearing he thinks you are 

really loves to practice with you because he loves seeing you in your zone like that. also you look hot

anyways yes he’s such a cutie i will not take criticism 

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

Retranslation and Analysis of That Fight Scene

So firstly, I just want to say the subs are not bad and convey the general meaning very well, in a way that sounds natural in English. That being said, there's always some things that get lost in literal translation, and I really want to demonstrate how much depth the Japanese in this scene actually has for Karma and Nagisa's characters.

Basically the TLDR point here is that this fight is very much not about Korosensei. This is completely platonic, I promise I resisted making any shippy points.

Karma: Hey, Nagisa kun, aren't you getting extremely carried away?

Nagisa: Eh? (definitely surprised and bewildered)

Karma: The number one strongest assassin in Class E is Nagisa kun, isn't it? (uses yo here, which suggests confidence in the statement). Are you (very directly yourself, your own thoughts) wanting to quit assassination? Let's think about the talentless others who are desperately trying their hardest to kill him. When you put it like that, it's like a woman who 'has it' telling the ugly ones that they should honestly quit being so desperate to get a boyfriend, that kind of feeling?"

So some interesting analysis here is that Karma says "zuibun", or extremely, when the original translation is "a tad". The translation feels more natural in English, however it kind of makes me feel that Karma's trying to make more of a point. Nagisa has the right to be making suggestions and stepping up, but he's gone so far this time it's crossed a line.

I think 才能がないなり (talentless, saino ga nai nari) is also very interesting. Talent is the best translation, but if you look at the kanji very literally, there's "genius" and "ability". This specific word choice more implies that the other assassins are good, but Nagisa's just another level. Japanese grammar is confusing at best, but essentially 'nari' means become. So you take this as kind of like 'students who couldn't develop genius ability'.

The repetition of 'desperate' is also pretty interesting, linking the examples together better. It emphasises the point that they're kind of at a loss with. He also doesn't directly say attractive woman, he says "motteiru onna", which essentially means the same, but is literally "a woman who has (no object given but essentially 'it'). This more directly reflects to what he's saying about Nagisa, he HAS talent, this unspecified natural quality that makes him better than everyone else without trying.

There's also a lot more rhetorical questions in the Japanese, which got combined into single sentences in the English. The "let's think" thing is very literally what he says, like he's wanting Nagisa to actually consider his thoughts for himself.

Nagisa's original argument and intention may have been about Korosensei. Karma may be genuinely opposed to saving Korosensei. But that isn't the point of Karma's argument at all, he's making this about Nagisa because he's reached a limit with the both of them.

In order to spare you, more under the cut.

Nagisa: T-the aim wasn't... Above all, for assassination, your understanding is always better than mine

Karma: Saying that directly (take with slight pinch of salt - he could have also said "fixing your statement") is irritating. In reality, isn't it that you yourself are the most powerful, and you can't comprehend the feelings of weak humans?

Nagisa: That's wrong (also using affirmative yo here)! That's not what I said! These are my true feelings! Do you hate Korosensei? We went to see a movie together with him, didn't we have a variety of great times?!"

Karma: That's why, that octopus did his best to come and make a fun classroom every time, and didn't give up like Nagisa. Without bloodlust, this classroom wouldn't have been built. Can't you understand the effort?! It's not just your body, are you still a fresh elementary school student?

One thing to note here is that Nagisa isn't actually finishing his sentences. You can absolutely tell what he means because Japanese makes sense like that, but he's still dropping words. Or when he does say a full sentence, they're very short statements. He is desperate here, trying to prove a point he can't actually voice into words correctly.

The context here is that this is before we know their full backstory. Nagisa admired Karma, and he can't quite say it right yet. He thinks they're on different stages still, and Karma is frustrated because Nagisa doesn't see the point.

Karma, after all, does have this inhuman image of Nagisa in his head from years ago. The image of Nagisa looking like some kind of snake demon as he kills Karma in his sleep. He genuinely still, here, believes that Nagisa is purposely hiding this. That's why he keeps putting words into Nagisa's mouth. He's also cutting him off at points, not listening at all to what he's truly saying.

At the same time, Karma starts talking down to him. Instead of saying 'no' (how you'd end a sentence to a friend), he starts using 'kai', which is condescending and how you'd speak to a child. There's an argument here to be made for Karma doing this as a kind of defence mechanism too, but that's very complicated. At this point he really is just trying to get to him.

They are not arguing about killing Korosensei, not at all.

Karma: Huh?

Nagisa: *does the creepy eye thing*

Karma: Eh? What are those eyes? You with the social standing of a tiny female animal, are you defying a human?

Nagisa: I was just...

Karma: If you have a complaint, how about saying it after you win a fight for once? It's aimed at me, so come on. C'mon. C'mon. C'mon!

This is actually one of the most significant changes to the original.

This is the thing, Karma was never calling Nagisa a tiny mouse of whatever, he was just comparing him to one. Because he knows very clearly that Nagisa isn't like that. He sees that look in his eyes and it prompts him, in his frustration, to finally try and bring it out of Nagisa. He's trying to prove a point.

But then Nagisa stops himself. He lets go of his bloodlust for a moment, defaulting to Nagisa as we know and love him, literally turning his head away from Karma.

But Karma's too far gone at this point, he's dragged stuff up his past feelings about Nagisa, the ones he's been hiding for a year to be tentative friends with him, and now he can't let them go. He needs to see Nagisa's darker side plainly, no matter what that means.

It's also important that he says "it's aimed at me". I think this is a little deeper than literal. I think what he's implying here is this entire thing is somehow aimed at him, like Nagisa's trying to strip everything away just for his own perspective.

Obviously at this point Nagisa snaps and chokes him.

Nagisa internal thoughts: Even I...

Nagisa: I'm not going with half my feelings!

Karma: This guy...

This is also pretty significant. I'm surprised they cut the "even I" part because that says a lot about Nagisa's current feelings. He still doubts himself. He's aware that he's a pacifist, that he's got a lesser social standing, but Karma's put him into a position where he has to stand up for himself. And this is important to him.

Karma smiles when he says "this guy", getting ready to punch him. He feels like he's succeeded, in a way. Though at first he looked genuinely surprised Nagisa actually did it. There's a certain kind of satisfaction that finally he managed to bring Nagisa's 'true' self out.

Obviously at this point they get separated.

So what does all of this actually tell us? Well, pretty clearly here, this is just Karma's issues coming to light. But also a very helpful and useful moment for Nagisa's development as a character. Whether we agree with Karma using him as a punching bag or not, it genuinely does force Nagisa to get some self agency for once.

Karma and Nagisa will never be characters who sit around and talk honestly about their feelings. But even if they're using a whole situation to mask the fact that they very much are discussing their relationship here, it is still a significant moment where pretty much all the barriers they've been putting up against each other drop. They're just still not entirely on the same page through this scene.

Nagisa thinks Karma is just looking down on him and trying to pick a fight. He's baffled and confused as to why Karma feels so strongly against him.

Karma, on the other hand, thinks Nagisa is better than them all and is frustrated when he 'purposely' acts like he isn't. Karma still feels lied to from when they were kids. And he wants to expose it all, to get Nagisa to understand the position his skill puts him in. I honestly don't think Karma ever thought Nagisa was less than him at all, he just knew it would be an easy way to get a reaction. See how he flips tactic from "you're the best here" to "you're a tiny animal" when Nagisa just went into denial the first time?

I'm not going to go into the whole of their actual full fight, but there's some interesting points that reflect back on all of this.

Korosensei saying "your own answer is right in front of you", basically demonstrating that this entire thing really is just Karma and Nagisa

The entire point of the fight was to get one hit in with a knife, but Karma decides to just continuously beat Nagisa instead. Which yeah, is pretty ineffective. Pretty much proves again that it wasn't about just taking a victory.

Karma took Nagisa's hits on purpose, maybe it can be argued that this is trying to make things last longer, to get Nagisa to actually work for it.

Nagisa demands that he listens to what he has to say. And that's right, because Karma was cutting him off originally.

Karma is a super strategist right? And he was genuinely shocked that Nagisa didn't use his bloodlust to take him down. This is Karma. Sure, he's allowed to make mistakes. But this is odd for him. He was so caught up in his own perspective of Nagisa just having that skill that unfairly made him better. But Nagisa literally throws that skill out and beats Karma on his own level, pretty much disproving him. Maybe Nagisa has this special ability, but he's also worked just as hard as everyone else. He's trained to know what assassination means.

Beating Karma like this, on a 'human' level, was pretty much it. Karma stopped fighting back when he realised that, because he was disproven, and pretty much every wall he put up against Nagisa got literally choked out of him. Karma is already known as kind of an ass and a dirty fighter, you really think he'd worry about the others not accepting it if he stabbed Nagisa fair and square? If he cared that much about killing Korosensei, he would have just done it.

Their fight was never about Korosensei.

[tawked]

A point I want to add: asylums and institutions also still exist in the space future, and are weaponized against a medically constructed political underclass on a basis of the presumption of violence.

This is how schizophrenia and many other personality disorders work, based on concepts pioneered primarily by Nazi eugenicists from the mid-1900s (as in the decade) to the 1940s. Particularly men like Hoche, Binding, Bleuler (who coined "schizophrenia) and Kraepelin.

Many concepts of schizophrenia specifically, such as the eventual understanding of delusions, were influenced by antisemitic purges of academia, such as the displacement of Karl Jaspers, who advanced the thought that it is the character of the delusional and not the content of the delusion that should be considered in diagnosis, a problem many people continue to have when engaging with exterminationist eugenics discourse to this day lol.

Through Julian Bashir's narrative and especially the institutionalised, engineered people we meet in S06E19 "Statistical Probabilities," explores concepts of institutionalisation and systemic, structural ableism in similar terms and concepts, without the need to reference this history because this was the backbone of the same systems and medical concepts that continued up to the mid-1980s, and continue in some forms to this day. It is a cornerstone of the conservative push to "get the homeless off the streets" by reopening psychiatric hospitals, effectively advocating for Arkham Asylums, a failed system, instead of building a systemic support framework that can support us in the outside world.

It's worth noting that although Jack is characterized as potentially dangerous (and pulls a lot of the focus when discussing this in-episode), he is housed with

Lauren, who is an ableist stereotype of a nymphomaniac manipulator, a character used in old school asylum fiction all the time. It's an outdated concept of hypersexuality, which is its own deeply complex subject. The point is, she's kind of an asylum novel cliche, and not much is done to subvert this.

Patrick, who is "brilliant but child-like," and not dangerous,

Sarina, who Julian ends up fucking dating brooo what is it with well-meaning liberals and writing themselves fixing a "broken woman" who immediately falls in love with them out of a combination of sexual repression and gratitude? like what is this fantasy??? is it not creepy as fuck? no one, i mean no one who is normal and aware of the sexual abuse of women in psychiatry would write this, oh my god i hate what the writers do to Sarina so much, it actively ruins bashir's character if i think about it for more than ten minutes it makes me so mad, it makes me so mad. fuck you charles xavier

So their being confined to psychiatric prison, which is basically their reality, is less a response to their specific symptomatic presentation and environmental needs, and more a flat standard applied to all genetically engineered people (a manufactured disabled class, according to social models of disability), based on culturally entrenched systemic ableism, with its roots directly in the Eugenics War.

It's an extremely complex discourse lol, but an unfortunate reality we live in is that a lot of liberals and leftists, such as the creatives behind Deep Space Nine, do not learn disabled history or politics. There's a whole incredibly vast and rich world that one seems only able to access when actually listening to disabled people, but unfortunately many of our cultural norms in progressive spaces provide a window into being "for us," or "about us," without us. One can advocate enough to pass a liberal sniff test, without ever really engaging with the vast complexity and history of these subjects.

So one of the things I like about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, which I think is somewhat underappreciated in the audience because it clashes hard with the utopic vision of the future, is that the Federation is in many ways still systemically and culturally ableist.

I think this is explored best in S02E06's "Melora," obviously.

This episode starts off with Dax being shocked that the replicator contained a schematic for a wheelchair, because no one has needed one in three hundred years. Bashir answers that no no no lol, Federation replicators in fact cannot make wheelchairs based on their built-in libraries, and that the wheelchair is a schematic that their incoming wheelchair user coworker sent over to have replicated for her on arrival.

The rest of the episode explores how this utopic vision of the future that the difficult-to-accommodate disabled are not a part of has absolutely de-normalized the cultural concepts and accommodations surrounding some disabilities, thus creating complex and seemingly anachronistic institutionalist-era realities in the space future.

This is, to me, deeply interesting because it highlights a very real conversation around pursuing cures against pursuing accommodation.

It's basically acknowledging the threat of the Gattica style shit currently engaged in by dudes like Elon Musk and these freaks

(for those who don't recognize them, these are weird pro-natalist yuppies who claim they've done shit like genetically engineer their kids for high IQs, a scentifically impossible thing. they are, unsurprisingly, very racist but in a SoCal-Berkeley way.)

becoming so normalized in society that we effectively engineer out the majority of "defects." Everybody starts off with a happy healthy life as defined not through accommodation and infinite diversity in infinite combinations, but through the elimination of variation that would necessitate different cultural practices, different architecture, different understandings of life worthy of life, blah blah blah.

It's not "in the brilliant shining future nobody has to be disabled," it's "in the brilliant shining future the disabled aren't allowed to exist, and we don't have to think about them" lol.

But! Geordi LaForge!

Well, Geordi is born blind in a context where blindness can be perfectly accommodated, debatably even cured, via his wundervisor and / or surgically implanted eyes. In fact, in the movies, which do not exist sorry, Geordi gets them eyes stuck in and in so doing even loses the cultural signifier of his blindness, as well as situational considerations of blindness.

Further, Geordi is in this unfortunate weird space a lot of disabled characters in science fiction are, where his prosthesis is considered cool enough that it passes some kind of ableist vibe check wherein the character is no longer necessarily received as "disabled" by the audience. It's a cool cyberpunk thing, and thus loses its audience association with disability in many ways, ala Adam Jensen's sword arms or the unexplored nature of voluntarily cutting off one's limbs to replace them with robot parts in Cyberpunk 2077.

Geordi "can do things," he just "has to do things a little differently." The "a little differently" here is defined as "wearing a thing on his face" and not a different process or method. We never see how Geordi lays out his quarters or prepares his uniform, tools, whatever in a way that makes it all more accessible for him; he readily assume the first thing he does in the morning is plug his visor in. Glasses.

It's a fun cosplay idea in a way a wheelchair isn't.

The thing is, when Geordi is without his visor, he's fucked.

I don't just mean the episode where he's trapped in a island with a Cardassian or whatever, I mean on the fucking Enterprise. Say they're in a crisis, he falls over, wangs his noggin on a console and breaks his visor. Look at the open layouts with no handrails leading anywhere, no braille or layout signage posted, nothin'.

How the fuck is he going to find his way to the turbolift?

These are not accessible environments for a blind bloke. These are accessible environments for a sighted bloke wearing glasses.

The thing to consider as well is, we know Geordi's blindness is absolute. Blindness in real life is pretty diverse, actually, and many blind people do have some vision. Not Geordi. So, all the lights that communicate where to go in a crisis mean fuck all to him.

And, considering how often the Enterprise is in crisis, crew members are cut off from each other or the ship, the practical realities Geordi has to deal with on away missions that are simply never accommodated - it becomes apparent that Geordi is considered effectively the same as any sighted crew member.

His disability accommodation is individual and his responsibility. Nothing is provided by Starfleet except, perhaps, new visors and free visits to Beverly.

The same criticism exists for my man Hemmer,

who is played by blind actor Bruce Horak, yes, but who exists in a similar state to Geordi. I doubt they considered Mr. Horak a consultant on blindness and how a blind crew member would work in their series, because again, his blindness is accommodated for by magical future thing that doesn't fucking exist. In this case, psychic senses or something (idk I've never watched nuTrek sober).

If you look at the environments he's in, or the situations he deals with on away missions, sans those Daredevilian supersenses he'd be shit out of luck.

They're so adverse to giving blind characters so much as a cane.

I'm not saying the inclusion of blind characters is bad or that we should not engage in these fantasies of disabled characters being able to live and work equally to able-bodied characters without the need for accommodation, necessarily. I'm certainly not saying every blind character should have a sighted support following them around or a dog or whatever. My criticism is not of the blind characters' individual accommodations not being up to my arbitrary standard as a sighted viewer lol.

What I am instead attempting to hightlight here is that the shows seem adverse to engaging in disabled / accommodative environmental design or in the more complex, social realities of disability, and that's something that the episode "Melora," the wheelchair user episode this post is about lol, addresses in depth.

Julian is a future space doctor who doesn't know how to comfortably talk to someone in a chair. That only happens in a universe where doctors don't encounter wheelchairs in their professional lives. That's a reality brought about specifically by the comfortable eugenicist realities of the future, where although due to a war the Federation draws the line at "enhanced" individuals, it obviously voluntarily engages in liberal eugenics to the effect of eliminating disabled life in many meaningful forms. Its society, where doctors seem to need an aide like this to do their jobs properly:

And idk! I think that's neat. I think that's a powerful flaw in the utopic vision of the future that Roddenberry and the others probably didn't intend originally, and that DS9, commendably, attempts to explore.

Especially because Julian was a lil autistic boy who was forcibly cured through similar treatment, and correctly identifies that this means the him who existed before was drastically altered for his parents' fear of actually accommodating him.

anyway this post was brought out of me by some dickhead saying Melora "breaks the setting" for them lol. bro they fought a eugenics war, they definitely didn't come out of that culturally unchanged. you're just scared of wheelchairs. fuck u