#i hate overtagging things... i feel horrible ifanowiefnaowi anyway

[nctsolar-remade]

Stay Here

Description: “I don’t want to hurt you…” “You already have.”  Pairing: Johnny x Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst  Word Count: 1,360 Warnings: Vague mentions of sex, Johnny (he’s lethal) Requested: No Song Recommendation: Stay Here – Gaho A/N: Thrown together because I’m Boo-Boo The Fool and one of my own text posts as well Johnny’s selfies and photos made my heart tremble like a small dog. He really played me this time. I cannot actually believe him. Foolish. (i wrote this bc everyone got stressed when i said “morning after with johnny,” i didn’t expect it to get sad) 

I breathed in gently, eyes opening sleepily. Light was flooding through the open curtains and spilling onto the floor, bathing everything in its glow. I breathed in deeply, letting my eyes flutter shut and swallowing lightly. My thoughts shifted through the previous evening and how I’d spent it. My cheeks flushed in warmth and I couldn’t help the smile that brightened my face. I opened my eyes again and sat up, looking around.

The room was clean and furnished elaborately. It felt expensive… My fingers gently traced over the sheets, their crisp, cool, smoothness contrasted heavily against the soft, warmth of my fingertips. I continued to run my fingers up and down the edge of the blanket.

My eyes glazed over as I thought about him. His hands, his fingers, his lips, his nose, his arms… All of him… My stomach ached a little just thinking about his smile. I didn’t know about butterflies, but he definitely inspired an anxious pang within me. It ached to my very core, and I couldn’t place it. Maybe it was because he was a prominent figure, maybe it was because he was my childhood best friend. Regardless of it all, he was mine.

My face immediately heated up, and I fell backwards, my head hitting the pillow and a giggle emitting from my mouth. My chest felt tight- almost like I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I might explode with these giddy feelings. I turned my head to the side, staring at his side of the bed.

His side.

I reached out my hand as if to reach for him, but his figure wasn’t there. The ache returned to my stomach… Every possible scenario raced through my head, my heart pounding madly. I shut my eyes, forcing it to stop, but it only became louder.

But the sound of the bathroom door opening caught my attention. I sat up again, eyes snapping in the direction of the bathroom. His gentle eyes scanned the room, meeting mine. His hair, gently falling in all the right ways. His eyes, always soft and caring. His lips, plush and parted slightly. There was something so gentle in the way he smiled at me, the way he walked over, and the way he laughed as he pointed out my messy hair.

Cheeks flushing over again, I drew the blanket higher, covering part of my face. His hands darted to the camera that was hanging from his neck. My voice stuck in my throat, as I attempted to stop him, but he’d already snapped the picture. I dropped the blanket, frowning a little but he just smiled back.

“You look beautiful.” “That’s incredibly cheesy.” “How long have you known me, Y/N?” His smile widened, eyes crinkling slightly. “Too long apparently,” I drew my knees up to my chest, pulling the blanket closer. “You have always been beautiful.”

I chose not to reply to that, rather just enjoy the feeling of the sunlight warming my skin. I shut my eyes again and took a deep breath. I reminisced in the feelings of his soft skin pressed to mine, the way his fingers drew circles on my skin as we lay next to each other, his lips feverishly pressing to my neck- all of it seemed so foreign in this moment, yet oddly tangible. I looked at him and he tilted his head questioningly.

“I was thinking about…” I trailed off, looking at him. “Last night?” He asked genuinely.

I nodded, fingers tightening on the blankets, my palms sweating slightly.

“What about it?” “What does it mean for us?” “What do you mean?” “Not to sound absolutely dramatic but… What are we?” I asked, my voice trembling now. “I’ve always considered you to be my soulmate Y/N. That will never change. You are my best friend before anything else, but… You are also, as you already know, the love of my life.” “Mm…” I shut my eyes and hummed, warmth spreading throughout me. “Last night was good.” He said, the smug confidence appearing. “You were good,” I whispered, eyes opening. “We’re good.” He corrected, and as an afterthought added, “Together.”

My cheeks warmed again. I smiled at him, heart pounding in my ears, and chest, and throat. My hands shook slightly as I unfurled them. His soft blush and gentle smile made my heart only pound that much harder. It was only then that I noticed he was dressed.

“You’re dressed.” “I have a meeting.” All the life that had filled me a few seconds ago, drained out, leaving bitter resentment, “Of course,” My voice, barely a whisper, sounded sharp.

I could sense his frown from here without even looking. I glanced his way and was proven right; his brow was furrowed, and his eyes darkened slightly. My heart ached… He didn’t deserve that, but I wasn’t wrong either… Always busy, always flying to another city, always working late…

“I don’t really have a choice, Y/N…” The hurt shone through in the way his voice wavered. “I know…” “Then why-” “This is how it always is Johnny… You’re here, I tell myself I shouldn’t do it, I fall anyway, I let you in… And then you’re gone a day later… I never learn my lesson I suppose.” “Y/N…” “Forget about it… You should go. You’ll be late.” “You’re not being fair-” “Is it fair to make me wait? To never give me a sign of what we are? To never clearly answer… Is it fair that I have always waited for you? And maybe you don’t like it when I say these things, but it hurts so much… I… I love you…”

The words echoed emptily off the walls and resonated in my ears. Tears welled in my eyes and I ducked my head downwards, leaning my forehead against my knees. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down, but it wasn’t really working. Slowly, the tears began to fall. First one, then two, then like a rainstorm that had been building, they fell freely.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice wavering more now. “You already have…”

Silence filled the room; the sound of my sniffles every now and then were the only breaks in the silence. I could tell I’d hurt him… Part of me was angry at myself, and the other part didn’t care. But that didn’t stop it from hurting. I wiped my face, attempting to stem the flow of tears but it seemed never-ending.

“Please don’t cry…” His voice, almost a beg. “Then stay here…”

My selfish demand shocked even me. I was surprised with myself for acting so needy, but in this moment, what I needed more than anything was for him to stay. For him to be right next to me. For his hands to pull me into him and keep me there. For him to hold tightly and stay.

His eyes widened, mouth opening ever so slightly. I stretched out my hand, an invitation to join me, to be a part of the warmth and the comfort. His smile appeared again, cheeks flushing over slightly. He stood up pulling out his phone, texting someone, probably saying that the meeting would have to be delayed. Setting aside his camera, he shed his coat, then shirt, then pants, and slipped back under the covers, body pressing against mine. My mind numbed over, thoughts of him overwhelming my senses.

The way his hands gently grazed over my skin left goosebumps. I looked at him, eyes slightly sore now, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. There was a serious look in his eyes.

“I love you Y/N.”

And it was real. It was warm. It was everything I needed.

“I love you too Johnny.”

He held my hand, fingers intertwining, and squeezing gently. He leaned in again, this time pressing a kiss to my lips. Soft and sweet and safe. Nothing was more comforting than the feeling of his lips pressing to mine, gentle and kind and requiring nothing more than me. He never expected me to be anyone but myself. He pulled away, smiling softly.

“Thank you for staying.” “Always.”