#g.docx

[nctsolar-remade]

Just A Dream – Episode 1: Dream Lab

Description: “Where is… Here?” “A dream.” “What?” I stopped dead in my tracks. “We’re trapped in a dream.” “You’re crazy…” “Look… Believe me or don’t believe me, I’m telling you the truth. We’re trapped inside someone else’s dream.”

Part: Ep.1 Dream Lab Pairing: None Genre: Horror, Mystery, Dystopian Word Count: 15.056 Warnings: Blood, death, decaying bodies Requested: No Song Recommendation: Control (Instrumental) – Halsey A/N: Ah, so here we are. Literally, 5 months later. This is a weird idea that I had after watching the NCTmentary videos that they put out. Honestly, what shady dudes. To be honest, it didn’t really take 5 months to write but I’m literally an expert at procrastination so… But, I have been really excited about writing this AU. I didn’t really expect it to get this long or detailed, and like not to toot my own horn, but this truly is the best piece of fiction I’ve ever written. I really hope you guys enjoy it, and anticipate (the very slow, I’m sure) updates! Anyway, reblogs and likes are always appreciated! Comments too. If you want to let me know what you thought of it, I’d genuinely be over the moon to hear! I really adore having feedback because it helps me be a better writer and it lets me know what’s good and what’s not. So, yeah, definitely let me know how it was and what you liked/didn’t like! Thank you so much for reading this. I hope you enjoy!

Also, special thanks to: Spence (@whiplashlive)!!! Miss Spence really helped me get through this. As you can see, it’s not a short fic, and like I was really disheartened at certain points and I felt like it wasn’t going anywhere but Spence really helped me push through and finish it. Her constant support is honestly the only reason this dumb ass fic is being posted now, rather than even later. So, like, mad thanks Spence! And also thank you to the other’s who proofed this fic for me! You all helped to motivate me as well, so thank you!

The day before the world ended.

 That day is still imprinted in my mind, as clear as ever. It will forever be there, haunting me. I can’t remember how long it’s been since then. So much has happened. Too many hours have passed. I feel like I’ve aged a hundred years over and over again.

 Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe no time has passed at all. Maybe it just happened. The world has just ended, and I am now here, opening my eyes and wondering where in the world I am. Maybe I am here, again, as I have already been so many damn times. Maybe that’s all this is… Maybe it’s just a dream.

 A dream.

 The word alone causes a grim smile to cross my features. After all, that’s the whole reason that I’m here right now. That word is the main reason that we have been trapped in this world… In this hell…

 Regardless of how long we’ve been here, we are here now. And here, is not a good place. I have to find a way to wake up. I have to save them. I have to-

 My eyes fluttered open.

 Asleep. I’d fallen asleep. I blinked several times, my eyes itching with tiredness. What had I just dreamt…? The harder I tried to remember it, the further away it slipped. Frustration was starting to grip at the edges of my confused and groggy brain. Before I could really get anymore worked up, I realized that my face was pressed against a desk. I lifted my cheek off the cool plastic and rubbed my eyes, trying to reduce the fuzziness of my vision. I heard someone speaking loud and clear, and it brought my attention to the front of the room. I was in a lecture hall filled with maybe three hundred students. Right… I was in class. I looked over at the seat next to me. The boy beside me noticed that I’d woken up and smiled.

 He leaned in, and in a soft voice whispered, “You fell asleep Johnny. I felt too guilty to wake you up. Don’t worry about the note though. He didn’t really talk about anything important, but you can still have mine.”

 I nodded, looking back at the front of the room. The prof was now talking about participating in research studies for extra credit. Something that all of us were told to do, as it would help improve our grade. Most of the studies were just regular researching experiences; normal experiments and interviews about a variety of things, like stress or your relationships. However, there were the odd research teams that put together extremely interesting and innovative studies. Those always filled up extremely fast and there were only a few spots for each study.

 “Please remember, these studies help, not only you, but the university and the graduate students who are running them. Anyway, make sure to read the next chapter from the textbook for next class, and that should be all the work that you are required to do this week. Have a good evening everyone.”

 The classroom immediately filled with life; chairs squeaked, people chattered, and there was a scramble to leave the room quickly. I stood up, looking back at the boy beside me.

 “What’s wrong, Johnny?” His eyes shone genuine concern.

“Nothing really.” I shrugged, sliding my laptop into my bag.

“Are you sure? You seem off…” He frowned and halted his own packing.

“Yeah, I’m sure Taeyong. I just had a strange dream.” I smiled at him.

“Oh… I see.”

 We tugged our coats on and donning our bags, we left the room.

 “It’s still snowing.” I pointed out at the glass walls of the science building.

“Damn, let’s hurry back then. Looks cold.” He shivered a little and sighed.

“Yeah, let me just check the bus times.” I nodded, pulling out my phone and scrolling through the upcoming times. “Seems like there’s one in ten minutes. I think we can make it, if we walk fast enough.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He nodded.

 Leaving the building was like entering a totally different world. Inside, it was loud, bustling, and hot. Outside, it was like a wasteland. There was nothing but white. The snow covered every inch of the ground, and it seemed to obliterate all signs of life. Not a single sound could be heard. There was nothing. Our breath turned into pearly-white puffs of air that swirled upwards towards the expansive night sky. It felt so dark and lonely… The silence was what really got to me. It felt like the snow was absorbing all the sounds that you’d normally hear on a university campus.

 Taeyong and I walked towards the bus stop, silently. It felt wrong… Talking… Disrupting the silence didn’t feel right. To this day, I’m still not sure why it made me uncomfortable, but it did.

 “What was your dream about?” He asked, suddenly.

“Oh… I don’t really know… I tried to remember it but, it kinda just… Slipped away?”

“Oh, I see.” He nodded.

“It wasn’t really anything.” I frowned.

“How do you mean?”

“Like, it just seemed like a voice was talking. I think I saw myself talking… But I was alone, and I wasn’t in a room or anything… Just a big, black expanse.”

“That is odd.”

“And what’s even weirder is that it felt so incredibly… Real…”

“Must’ve been one of those dreams.”

“Yeah… And I think I was just talking… About dreams actually.”

“Inception?” He poked me, laughing.

 I couldn’t help myself, I laughed along and nodded. Being around Taeyong was easy. He didn’t expect anything from you, which made it easy to be yourself. Uni was a tough place to be… Everyone expected you to act like an adult even though most of us weren’t really ready for it here. And even though I’d already been here for a few years, Taeyong was my only real friend. We’d met back in our first year when we’d been paired up as roommates. He was seemingly quiet and shy at the time. He kept to himself, avoiding any sort of conversation. I tried to befriend him at the time, but he seemed simply focused on his studies, which I respected. Eventually, he opened up when we finally found some common ground: our similar tastes in music. Now, we were best friends and still roommates.

 I was brought out of my nostalgic thoughts as my shoulder made painful contact with someone else. I stumbled backward slightly and reached for my shoulder, wincing in pain. I looked towards the source of the crash, making eye-contact with a boy who seemed extremely flustered.

 “I am so sorry.” He gasped, eyes flashing apologetically.

Smiling sheepishly, I shook my head, “Nah, I wasn’t looking where I was going. That was my fault, to be honest.”

“I really wasn’t paying attention to where I was going…” He awkwardly bit his lip and smiled.

“We’re both at fault I guess.” I laughed.

“Johnny, we should hurry…” Taeyong said softly. “Crap, right… Sorry, we should get going.” I scratched the back of my neck and the boy nodded.

“Myself as well. Have a good evening, both of you. And again, I’m sorry.”

“You too. And yeah, sorry.”

 We continued walking, I glanced back, wondering if he was still there but… He was gone… I wanted to turn fully and see if he’d actually managed to leave that fast, but Taeyong pulling on my sleeve was enough to keep me going.

 “Do you know who that was?” I asked expecting a no.

“Yeah… He’s in my academic writing class.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah…” He frowned a little, “I think he goes by Ten?”

“Ten?”

“Yeah… I think that’s what it was.”

 Taeyong pointed at the bus stop, which was now in view. I pulled out my phone, double checking the current time. We still had a few minutes.

 “We’ll make it-”

“Johnny, look!”

 Taeyong was staring upwards at the sky in awe. I followed his gaze, my eyes widening and mind going blank. The sky above was still pitch black, but there were hundreds of shooting stars trailing across our field of view.

 “Johnny, let’s go.”

 I shook my head, looking around. Taeyong was a few steps in front of me, looking at me. I looked up, confused. The sky was void of shooting stars, or any stars for that matter. The moon was also missing. All of it was hidden by thick, snow-filled clouds that heavily weighed down on the sky. It left the night sky incredibly dark and quiet… But… Where were the stars? I swear I’d just seen shooting stars.

 “T-Taeyong… Were there just…” I trailed off, I didn’t want to sound crazy.

“What?”

“Never mind.” I shook my head, trying to rid my thoughts of what I’d just seen, or, imagined.

 It must’ve been my overwhelming sleepiness. We walked up to the stop and I leaned against the lamp post, feeling dizzy with confusion. I scrunched my eyes shut and tried to forget what I had just seen. Was I losing it? Or had that really happened? But there was no way… If Taeyong hadn’t seen it… Then…

 I looked up and panic gripped at the bottom of my heart as I couldn’t see Taeyong. I immediately straightened up, glancing around the mostly empty bus stop. Where had he gone?

 “Taeyo-” I was cut off as I saw him standing in the middle of the road.

 What the hell? How did he get there?

 From the left, a car was hurtling down the road. I opened my mouth to yell, but he looked at me and I froze. Something about the look in his eyes was dead… That wasn’t Taeyong… I tried to yell out to him, tried to tell him to move, that he was going to get hurt, but nothing seemed to work. His hollow eyes bore into mine and he mouthed one word.

 “Sorry.”

“TAEYONG!” I gasped out, standing up straight and bewilderedly looking around.

“W-What!?”

 I turned and looked at Taeyong. He was standing where I’d remembered, right beside me. I looked back at the road; cars were travelling along it but there was no one there. My gaze returned to Taeyong and he looked at me, concern laced his eyes and his eyebrows turned down in a frown. I sighed, shakily, and reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. I half expected my hand to phase right through him, but it pressed against him, solidly and I felt my knees buckle a little. What the hell was happening?

 “Johnny… What’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Y-Yeah…” I nodded, feeling a wave of nausea pass over me, “I’ll tell you when we get back home.”

“Alright.” He looked at me unsurely.

“I’m fine.” I mumbled, trying to breathe evenly.

 I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it back and out of my face which, I realized, was sweaty. It was negative twenty with a negative twenty-five wind chill, and I was sweating. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of everything that was currently happening. I took deep, steadying breaths and focused myself on waiting for the bus, which happened to drive up at that moment.

 The doors opened and Taeyong stepped on first, pulling out his I.D. and smiling at the driver, who nodded. I followed suit, pulling out my I.D. and flashing a tired smile at the driver. He nodded at me as well, and I followed Taeyong towards the back doors of the bus, in hopes of collapsing onto a seat and managing to collect my thoughts. Unfortunately, though, there were no seats available. It was usual at this time that the bus would be incredibly crowded as everyone was trying to make it back to their apartments in the evening hours.

 I held onto the railing above me, so as not to crash into anyone when the bus made a particularly violent turn and tried my hardest to take deep breaths and ignore the lead tiredness that was starting to take hold of me. There weren’t too many stops from the school to our apartment, but in this moment, it felt like forever. As I looked out the window, I caught a glimpse of my own reflection; I was pale and clammy, and my hair was sticking to my forehead. Again, I brushed my hair back and took a deep breath.

 “Our stops next.” Taeyong mumbled to me.

 I simply nodded. He pressed the “stop” button, and we both pushed our way towards the door. It was hard to push through a sea of other students, and we were desperately trying to make it before the driver stopped. But, as I was trying to get through the mass, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me backwards.

 “What the hell?!” I gasped out, turning, confused and frustrated.

 A boy with light brown hair and wide eyes stared at me. His mouth fell open and he shook his head. He seemed confused and alarmed all in one, and I was getting slightly impatient at this point. I frowned at the boy, and he immediately went into apology-mode.

 “I am so sorry. I thought you were someone else!” He gasped out.

 Seeing as people were staring at us, I just nodded, sighing and offering a smile.

 “It’s fine. Happens to all of us.”

“Johnny, let’s go.” Taeyong’s voice caught my attention as the bus slowly came to a halt.

 I smiled at the boy again and he nodded, an embarrassed smile on his face, and I turned, following Taeyong off the bus. We stepped back onto the cold streets and looked around the familiar area. Our building loomed in front of us; something seemed daunting about it, but the sleepiness was gnawing so furiously on my mind that I was willing to overlook that.

 We crossed the street and went into the building, only to find that the elevator was “out of order.” Of course, on my longest and weirdest possible day, the elevator somehow found a way to be out of order. The coincidence of it all almost made me laugh, but instead, I just rolled my eyes and trailed behind Taeyong, up the stairs.

 Finally, after twelve flights of stairs, we walked into our room and were greeted by a familiar and friendly site. I threw my own room door open and tossing my bag to the ground, I collapsed upon the softness of my bed, sinking into it and feeling, finally, at peace. Every odd worry and strange thought was immediately wiped from my mind the moment that my head hit the pillow. I could feel sleep already taking over me, and I wanted to go with it. I wanted to fall into a deep sleep; I needed it at this point. But I heard my door being pushed open again.

 “So, you want to talk about what happened when we were walking home?”

“I was just imagining things.” I mumbled quietly.

“Are you sure? You seemed pretty shaken up about it.”

“Y-Yeah… I’m just…. Y’know…” I tried my hardest to form coherent sentences, but I was far beyond the barriers of language and grammar.

“Alright… Obviously, you’re way too sleepy to even put together a sentence so… We should just turn in for the night. You especially. We can talk about it in the morning. Sound good?”

 I made an attempt at a thumbs-up but miserably failed. He laughed softly at the failed attempt, and left my room, shutting the door behind him. I rolled over, knowing I’d regret falling asleep in my clothes but… At this point, I was just too tired to care.

 ***

 I woke up suddenly, bolting upright and staring around my dark room. What had caused my sudden alarm and awakening? I didn’t have a second to contemplate it, as a scream rang out from down the hall. I jumped out of bed and left my room, yanking the front door open. People were running towards the door that led to the stairs, with fear plastered on their faces.

 Confusion and panic swept through me, and I rushed to Taeyong’s door, banging my hand against it as it flew open. He was standing there, his eyes wide and fear clearly present in them. I tried to ask what was wrong, but the fire alarm went off. We quickly rushed to put our shoes on and I thought my questions were answered, but as we ran outside, I realized that the building was not on fire. Rather, just as I had seen earlier, there were shooting stars trailing overhead in the sky, but this time, they seemed to be falling towards the earth, and the result was-

 “Fire…” Taeyong whispered, his normally warm eyes, flushed with fear.

“We should go to campus…” I said, eyes nervously overlooking the flames.

“Yeah… They’ve probably got some system set up…”

 Following the mass of students from the buildings, we rushed our way through the crowd. Every now and then I got glances of people I recognized from our building or from our classes. Everyone looked terrified, several people were glancing up every now and then. The fire seemed to have spread, but away from the main campus. A small feeling of relief rushed through me…

 Everyone seemed to be heading for the closest entrances and because of that, there was a pileup of students waiting to get inside.

 “Why don’t we go through the psych building?” Taeyong whispered, pointing towards another building in the distance. “We can just go through there and get inside a lot quicker.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I nodded, realizing that he and I weren’t wearing jackets, and becoming painfully aware of the cold.

 We slipped away from the crowd and rushed off towards the building in the distance. I could hear his teeth chattering and a pang of guilt rushed through me. He was wearing a t-shirt and some PJ bottoms, while I was still in my sweater from earlier, with an extra shirt underneath, and a pair of jeans. I pulled my sweater off, thanking myself for wearing a long-sleeved shirt, and held it at him. He went to protest, but either the look on my face or his overwhelming coldness must’ve convinced him, and he took it- gratefully. Pulling it on, he seemed a lot warmer and smiled at me.

 As we reached the door, I pulled it open and let him in, following closely behind.

 “Might take us a while to find the opposite side of the building.” He whispered, looking around.

 He was right. The psych building was probably one of the oldest ones on this campus and happened to be extremely maze-like, and mildly terrifying.

 “Well, better start now, or we’ll be in here forever.” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

 He laughed softly and shaking his head, started walking down one of the paths. A few minutes later we hit a crossroad; one path led to a staircase and the other led down a different hall. He looked at me, frustration knitting his eyebrows.

 “What d’you think?”

“Well, if we’re trying to find the connection, and it’s on the upper floors… We should probably head upstairs…?”

“Yeah… Probably safer to go up and then get a view of where we are.”

 We walked up the stairs, the odd silence in the building was beginning to feel really unsettling. The stairs led to another door, which we walked through and led to another long hallway filled with dozens of doors. We started walking down the hall but, one set of doors caught my attention. The doors at the far end of the corridor; it was for one of those bigger lecture halls, but it was always locked with a sign on it reading “under construction.” The only difference this time was, it was slightly ajar.

 “Taeyong, that door is open.”

“What- Oh… Yeah. So?”

“It’s never been open… It’s always been locked… And there’s always been a sign on it saying under construction.”

“Someone must’ve run out in a panic and forgotten to lock it. It happens.”

“Maybe but…” My curiosity was burning, and I moved towards the door.

“Johnny, if it’s actually under construction then it’s not safe in there.”

“Let me just shut it…” I said, ignoring his strained voice.

“Hurry, then…”

 I moved forward, but instead of pulling it shut, I pushed it all the way open. My own gasp was drowned out by the sound of Taeyong swearing. He too seemed shocked at what was on the other side of the door.

 “What the hell?” I breathed out, stepping into the room.

 As I’d assumed, it was a large lecture hall type room. What was missing were the hundreds of seats and tables that students would sit at. Rather, there were several descending staircases that led towards the head of the room. Instead of a stage or platform where a professor would speak, there was some sort of machine. I turned and looked at Taeyong, who was standing a few steps away, eyes widened in fear.

 I looked back, my curiosity was only growing. I walked into the room and started down the stairs. I felt Taeyong grab my hand and pull me to a halt.

 “What?”

“Johnny, no… You don’t even know what that thing is. It could be dangerous.”

 And he was right, but I just needed to know. I needed to figure it out. I didn’t know what was compelling me to go up to it but, I had to figure it out.  

 “It’s fine. I’m not going to touch it. I just want to see.”

“Johnny, please… If we’re caught in here, who knows what they’ll do… We should just get going.”

“I won’t take long. I just want to know what it is.”

“O-Okay… But I’m not going to stay here.”

“Scared?” I smirked at him.

“You wish, you dumb, tall giraffe.” He grumbled and stomped ahead of me.

 I laughed and followed him down the stairs. As we reached the bottom, the machine loomed closer and ominously in front of us. There were four or five bathtub-like structures at the base of it, and in the middle, a control panel. I walked to the weird bathtub structures and looked more closely at them. They seemed to be filled with water, but it was probably some weird chemical that looked like water…

 “Johnny… Come look at this…” Taeyong’s voice wavered.

 I turned and walked towards the direction his voice was coming in, but I couldn’t find him. I looked around the empty hall, a slight panic filling me.

 “Taeyong? If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not funny-”

 I was cut off; the sound of footsteps caught my attention. I whipped around and saw Taeyong standing in front of another person, who was holding a knife to his throat. The man was wearing a mask that covered his entire face, and I could only see his eyes- which were grey and cold. My eyes widened, and I felt myself freeze. I was rooted to the spot, unable to move, speak, or think. Taeyong’s eyes shone in the light, full of fear and confusion.

 “Who are you?” The voice was cold and steely.

 I opened my mouth to answer, but the lump in my throat wasn’t allowing me to. What if I said the wrong thing? Would I lose my best friend? There was so much to risk, and I was pretty sure that not answering the question wasn’t an option. I stared at Taeyong, who shut his eyes and grit his teeth. My heart was sinking. How was this even real? How was this happening?

 “Who are you?” He repeated, tone unwavering.

“W-We’re just students.” I stammered out, my voice meek and soft.

“What are your names?”

“Jo-”

“Hey!”

 The three of us whipped around to see-

 “Ten?” I questioned my eyebrows knitting.

 The smaller boy, who seemed so friendly and meek earlier, stood there holding a gun. It was aimed at the man holding Taeyong at knifepoint. I didn’t think, that after all that had happened today, that anything else could really surprise me but, obviously I stood corrected. I stared at Ten, my head beginning to hurt.

 “Let him go.” Ten’s eyes were narrowed in a dangerous way.

“Looks like you showed up.”

“You’re hunting me, not them. Let him, and the other one, go.” His sweet voice was no longer present; it was as if he was a completely different person.

“There are consequences for running.”

“I ran because it was the only logical thing to do…”

“Saving your skin because you’re too scared?”

“I found a way to leave… Of course, I was going to take it.”

“No one can leave. There are laws.”

“I won’t go back. And you can’t take me. Now, let them go.  I won’t ask again.”

 Taeyong and I exchanged confused glances. I noticed his eyes frantically motion between his captor’s grip on him loosening, and my general direction. I suddenly realized what he was planning, and although it terrified me, it was a better plan than nothing. But just as he went to pull away, the man swiftly moved the knife away from his neck and down to his stomach, plunging it into him, eliciting a loud gasp.

 Taeyong’s eyes went wide, as he fell to his knees. My eyes widened, and I couldn’t find the words. He keeled backwards as the man started to run, but the sound of gunfire echoed through the auditorium and the man crumpled forwards, dead. Ten stood there, eyes dead and emotionless as he held the same position and stared at the body of the stranger.

 I rushed over to Taeyong. Sinking to my knees, I tried to quell the bleeding, but there seemed to be nothing I could do. I pressed my hands over the wound and he looked at me, eyes hollow as if the stars that were usually present in them were winking out. He tried to grasp onto my hand, but his shaky fingers couldn’t muster the strength. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

 “W-We’ll get you help. You’re going to be fine!” I gasped out, finally finding my words.

 He opened his mouth to speak but he just coughed, wincing and groaning in pain. Tears began to well in my eyes and I couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t die. This couldn’t be happening. How was this happening?!

 I turned around helplessly and looked at Ten. His eyes were full of sorrow and he sighed.

 “Call someone! Anyone! What are you doing just standing there?!” I yelled.

“It’s too late… He’s not going to make it.” He said, eyes filled with pity.

“That’s not up for you to decide!” Anger flooded through me.

“I’m sorry…”

“P-Please… He’s my friend… My only friend…” I whispered, tears falling freely, “I can’t lose him… He’s all I have.” I gasped out, shaking.

“J-Johnny…” Taeyong’s feeble voice caught my attention and I turned and looked at him.

 He smiled, weakly and opened his eyes slightly. I couldn’t help the sob that escaped me. I was going to lose my best friend… I was going to lose the only person who had tried to be a part of my life… And it was my fault. All of this was my fault.

 “D-Don’t… Don’t cry…” He gasped out, smiling at me and reaching his hand out to wipe my tears but recoiled instantly as pain rippled across his face.

“D-Don’t move… I’m going to get you help. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“N-No… Too late for me… Just… Don’t cry…” He whispered, eyes fluttering shut.

“No. No! NO! Taeyong, no!” I yelled, my heart racing as panic coursed through me.

 I turned back to Ten who was fiddling with something in his hands. I couldn’t even muster the anger to yell, to scream, to do anything. I felt defeated… How did this happen?

 “Alright, Johnny. When you wake up, remember, you asked for this.”

 I looked back at Ten. He looked tired and frustrated.

 “W-What?”

“I will help you save your friend. But remember, there are consequences. Every action has a reaction.” He looked at me with serious eyes.

“I-I don’t care… I just want to help him…”

“Alright. Hold on, okay?” His voice was noticeably warm.

 My eyes opened suddenly, and I snapped my head up off the desk on which my face was pressed against. My head spun as I'd moved too fast, and I gripped the edge of the desk, feeling an extreme wave of sickness passing over me… I looked around, confused and panicked. As I turned my head to my right, the sight beside me nearly made me pass out from shock, happiness, and confusion.

 Taeyong was sitting there, eyes directed forward at the professor. He looked at me and smiled warmly. I felt my legs lose all feeling and tears well up in my eyes. He noticed my expression and immediately looked concerned. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief flood my system. I looked around again, half expecting it all to fade away as if I were in a hallucination of some sort. But nothing happened. Everything stayed the same…

 Had I really just dreamed all of that? Was all of what I just witnessed a figment of my imagination? It seemed unrealistic and impossible… But somehow, it felt real. The sounds, the feelings, the scents… Those felt real. Not like something I’d ever experienced in a dream before. I stared at Taeyong, who was confusedly looking at me, pure concern lacing his eyes. I shook my head, running my hands through my hair and taking a deep breath. It was a dream. That’s why I was here, now, with him… That’s why he wasn’t…

 I couldn’t even think about it without feeling a sick nausea passing over me again. I shut my eyes and rubbed them, trying to rid myself of the thoughts about what had happened… That had been the most vivid dream I’d ever experienced… I heard the prof speaking up again, and I looked over.

 “Please remember, these studies help, not only you but the university and the graduate students who are running them. Anyway, make sure to read the next chapter from the textbook for next class, and that should be all the work that you are required to do this week. Have a good evening everyone.”

 The hall came to life, as it always would. People began to pack as if it were any other day. Everyone was chattering away, unaware of how I was feeling. Why did all this feel like such major déjà vu? If that had all just been a dream, why had it been so vivid and real…? Why had it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest? Why did the blood on my fingers feel so real?

 “Johnny? What’s wrong?” Taeyong asked, eyebrows furrowed.

 Standing up, I reached out and rested my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me, even more confused than before. I immediately grabbed him into the tightest embrace and tried my hardest to avoid crying right there. Shaking, I pulled away slowly and looked at him. He had the most confused look on his face, but grinned awkwardly at me anyway.

 “T-Thank you?”

“I… I had a bad dream.” I decided that was the safest way to state it.

“Really? ‘Bout what?”

“Well… There was a lot going on but… You… Died.” I looked at him quickly and he immediately started laughing.

“I what?!” He smiled widely at me.

 Although I was annoyed that he found the whole situation funny, I couldn’t help but smile too. Although Taeyong was a worrier, he was also light-hearted, and it was easy to forget your worries around him. He began packing up, but continually asked me to relive my dream to him.

 “I wanna know how I died! Was it heroic? Was I cool and dramatic?” He asked wiggling his eyebrows and giggling, not unlike a child.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and pushed him slightly, “You’re an idiot, you know that right?”

“Yes. I do. Now tell me!”

“No! You’re going to make fun of me, and it was a serious dream. I was really worried about you. I really thought you’d died.”

“Don’t worry Johnny, I’m never going to die. I’ll always stick around to annoy you.”

“Oh great. Now I wish I hadn’t woken up.”

“Hey!” He pouted and pushed me slightly.

“I’m kidding.” I laughed, smiling at him, but I was reminded of his face covered in blood, and my heart sank again, “It just felt… So real…”

“Like, you’d already seen it once before kind of real, or like… Where it just feels unnaturally and tangibly real?” “The second one… It felt real. It honestly felt like right now. Everything that happened is literally what’s happening here. I had fallen asleep on the desk and then I woke up at the end of class and we left together. But on the way home, we were stopped by a boy, who I’d never met but you knew him, and anyway, we got home… And then there was this shooting star thing that happened, and they were falling to the earth and there was fire, so they were moving students to the main campus… And, we wanted to take a shortcut into the buildings and so we went through the psych building but then I wanted to explore one of the empty halls, and you were against it but then we saw this giant, strange machine so we went in. And when we were looking at it, you got captured by this guy and he held you at knife-point… And anyway… That guy from before, that you knew, showed up and he tried to bargain for your life, but the guy holding you stabbed you, and then the other dude shot him… And you were dying.”

 I looked at Taeyong, who was staring at me with wide eyes. Panic seized me; did he think I was insane? But my qualms were quelled a moment later as he burst into laughter. I sighed, rolled my eyes, and slinging my bag over my shoulder, I started towards the stairs. Still laughing, Taeyong followed suit and chased after me. He caught onto my arm and faked wiping a tear away.

 “You’re so annoying.”

“Not that it didn’t sound like the coolest dream in the history of dreams, but it was slightly unrealistic.”

“In what way?” I asked, laughing along now.

“I wouldn’t be the one to die. That would be you.” He said as seriously as he could muster.

“I was actually worried about you, and that’s all you can say.” I feigned hurt.

“Don’t worry Johnny. If it ever came to that sort of situation, I would protect you.” He winked at me.

“Yeah, I’d love to witness the day that you and those scrawny arms could protect anything.” I snorted.

“Wow, here I am trying to protect you and all you can do is insult me?”

“You deserve it. Making fun of me for being genuinely worried about you.”

“I told you, don’t worry. It was just a dream after all.”

 Although every rational part of me knew he was right, I couldn’t help but feel an inkling of worry. If the dream hadn’t felt so real, I didn’t think I’d be this fixated on it… But it had. It’d been the most real a dream had ever felt. I wasn’t sure I’d ever experienced something like that in my life. How was I supposed to just put it out of mind? Sure, to him, it might’ve been easy. But he hadn’t been the one to witness his best friend’s death- and real or not, that shit was traumatizing. I shivered slightly, trying my hardest to repress the vivid feeling and colour of the blood that had covered my hands.

 Looking around, I realized we’d managed to walk all the way to the bus stop- this time, with no disturbances from anyone. Maybe my subconscious had just made him up. I looked around, and this time, there was no one at the bus stop. There was, however, snow falling even more heavily than in the dream.

 “Odd.” Taeyong mumbled, pulling out his phone and checking the times again.

Leaning over his shoulder, I looked at the times, “There should’ve been one just now,” I mumbled.

“Yeah… I wonder what’s up.”

 From behind us, we heard someone talking loudly. We both turned to look at the source of the voice. My eyes widened when I realized who I was looking at. He had light brown hair and a wide grin. He was talking animatedly into the microphone on a pair of earbuds, and when he noticed us looking, his cheeks flushed, and he lowered his voice. Taeyong simply turned and looked back at the road, checking both directions to see if the bus was coming. I, however, stood there, rooted to the spot. My eyes focused only on the shorter boy, his conversation flying right over my head. That was the boy that’d stopped me on the bus. There was no mistaking it. He was real.

 “Taeyong, do you know who that is?” I leaned over, speaking quietly to him.

He glanced back and shrugged, “No, I’ve never seen him before. Why?”

“No reason…” I shook my head, not wanting to have him laugh at me again.

“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He said, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah… I just think that dream took a real toll on me.” I said, laughing weakly.

“Well, hopefully, the bus comes soon. Then we can get home, and you can get the rest that you need.”

“Yeah…”

“Hey, guys!” The familiar voice of the boy startled us both.

 We turned to look at him, and his cheeks were slightly pink; whether it was the weather or his embarrassment, I couldn’t tell. He stood there, nervousness seemed to fill the air, and he wrung his hands out awkwardly as if he couldn’t find the words to tell us what he wanted to say.

 “Hi,” Taeyong said, smiling.

“Sorry, if this is awkward and out of nowhere… But, I was just on the phone with my friend, and he told me the busses have been cancelled due to the snow.”

“Oh shit, really?”

“Yeah, he was also waiting for his bus, but it never showed. And he called the bus station, that’s when they told him that all the lines closed early tonight seeing as the snow started to really come down. I thought I’d just let you guys know… It’s better than just standing here for a few hours.”

“Thanks, we appreciate it.” Taeyong grinned.

“No problem, I’ll see you around then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

 He turned to walk away, but Taeyong immediately called out again.

 “Where do you live?”

“Oh, East Village housing-”

“We live there too!”

“Oh cool! We could walk together.” The boy immediately blushed again, and frantically stuttering said, “Only if you’d want to do that of course. I understand if you wouldn’t want to.”

“Not at all! It’ll be better than walking alone, right?”

“Definitely. Shall we get going then?”

“Sounds good. I’m Taeyong by the way, and this is Johnny.”

“I’m Mark.” He smiled shyly.

“What year are you in?” I asked, finally speaking up.

“First. And you guys?”

“Third year. Both of us.”

“Yeah, I suspected you were both older. Not that you look old!” He panicked again, eyes widening.

“Don’t worry.” Taeyong said while I laughed awkwardly, “We know we look old.”

“Ah, don’t take it that way.” He meekly smiled.

“Don’t worry, we’re not being serious. We’re actually the epitome of youth. Can’t you see?”

“Totally.” He nodded, feigning seriousness.

 We all burst into laughter. All my previous fears melted away; talking and laughing with both Taeyong and Mark made it easy to forget my worries. After all, I’d probably just seen Mark around campus somewhere, and that’s how he’d appeared in my dream so vividly. It was just a dream. Nothing else.

 As we were walking back, out of the corner of my vision, I noticed the psych building. I stopped, looking at it, my curiosity burning desperately within me. I bit my lip, wondering if it was worth the risk. Even though it wasn’t real, even though it had just been a dream, part of me was convinced there was something behind that door. I mean, obviously, my subconscious had forced it into my dreams as a way of conveying that I had the desire to know what was behind it… Right? I frowned, still stuck staring at the building, trying to make a decision.

 “What’s wrong?” Taeyong asked.

“Would you mind if we took a detour?” I asked, my voice sounding strangely unlike me.

“Why? And to where?”

“I want to go see inside the psych building.”

“Johnny if this is about the dream- I promise there is nothing weird in that building. Other than those experiment chambers, there is nothing else in there.”

“I know, I just… I need to make sure. I need to know that what I saw wasn’t real.”

“What’s going on?” Mark’s voice pierced my ears and I looked at him.

“He had a crazy dream and now he’s convinced it was real.” Taeyong sighed.

“Dreams are parallel universes, or at least… That’s what I believe.” Mark said shrugging.

“C’mon it’ll be quick.” I pleaded, looking back at Taeyong.

“I’m with Johnny. We should check it out!” Mark said, seriously.

“You can’t be buying into this!”

“What are you talking about? Dreams are terrifying. Of course, I want to check it out.”

“Oh my god, I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.” Taeyong said, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Look at it this way, if I’m wrong-”

“Which you are!”

“-then you get to prove it. If I’m right, then we’ll see what I was talking about and then we can leave.”

“But you’re wrong!”

“But you won’t ever know for sure unless you check, right? And once we know for sure that I’m wrong, you can rub it in my face. C’mon… It won’t take me that long. I remember exactly where the room was. Plus, you get to use your favourite phrase: I told you so. You’ve literally got nothing to lose.”

Staring between us for a second, he sighed, “Fine, fine. But don’t think this means I’m on your side.”

 I sighed in relief, smiling at Taeyong, who weakly smiled back. Quickly, I set off at a brisk pace towards the psych building. I pulled out my phone, glancing at the time to make sure that this was occurring at a different time, before the last set of events had taken place. Luckily, we had time to spare. Nevertheless, I kept my speedy pace up, as we rushed into the psych building. We walked down a long and narrow hallway, as we’d done in the dream, and eventually came upon the same staircase. Looking back at them, I nodded and took the stairs two at a time. At the top of the stairs was a door which led to another extremely narrow hallway. The end of the hall had a set of double doors, leading towards what I’d always presumed to be a lecture hall under construction.

 “That’s it.” I pointed.

“You came all this way to look at a lecture hall door?” Taeyong groaned.

“No, I came to see what was on the other side of it.”

“Wouldn’t it be, oh I don’t know… A lecture hall?”

“No, it was something else. Some kind of machine… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Okay, fine. Go open it.”

 Feverishly, I rushed to the door. Gripping the handle, with a sweaty, shaky hand, I pushed in.

 As if being submerged in icy water, I gasped for air. It felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of me. There, in the room, just as it had been before was the same machine, and it was connected to the same five bathtub-like structures, which still appeared to be filled with a substance that bore a great deal of resemblance to water. I stared, unable to figure out how to respond to what I was looking at. And as if it were a perfect repetition of my dream, I heard Taeyong curse loudly. Mark, the only addition to the picture, uttered a soft and awed, “Woah,” all while stepping forward slightly.

 How could this be happening? How was any of this real?!

 “How is that real?” Taeyong’s trembling voice brought me back to the present.

“I don’t know…”

“What the hell is it?”

“I have no clue.” “Well, you dreamed it! And now it’s here? What is going on?!” He sounded panicked.

“I’m not sure…”

“Can we get closer?” Mark asked, stepping into the lecture hall, all caution thrown to the wind.

“No!” Taeyong gasped, pulling him back. “If your dream was anything like the truth, then there is no way I’m letting either of you near that thing. We don’t even know what it is?”

“I’m going to see what it is.” I said, already walking towards it.

 I heard Mark scramble after me, and after a few grumbling sounds, Taeyong gave in and followed as well. I was at the bottom of the stairs before I could even process it; my feet seemed to have gained their own will and control. My mind was a mess of static, confusion, and panic. Nothing and everything seemed real all at the same time. I walked towards what seemed to be the main part of the machine. There was computer built into the base of the machine, and it seemed to be on. I looked at the screen. It was black and there was a blinking cursor. I stared at it, fingers trembling as I reached out for the keyboard.

 “Who the hell are you?!” A voice echoed angrily.

 The three of us turned, panic flowing through me and my heart starting to madly beat. I already knew what was coming. Was I really going to put myself- and my friends- through this again?

 But instead of being the knife-wielding man that had nearly killed my best friend, it was someone else-

 “Ten?!” Taeyong said, confusion layering even more into his voice.

“Taeyong…” He said, a look of sadness flitted across his expression briefly, but it was gone in an instant. He looked around and when he saw me, he frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“I-”

“I would’ve thought you’d learned your lesson. I would’ve thought you’d brushed it off, in the least. You weren’t supposed to come back!”

“It just didn’t seem real… I had to know if it was a dream-”

“It wasn’t!” He yelled.

 I froze.

“S-So… What does that mean?”

“It means I rewound time… It means I broke every law there is, just to save your friend. And now you’re here. And if anyone catches you here, they will hurt you and your friends again. You can’t be here!”

 As he said that, screams started echoing around us.

 “The stars are falling… It’s happening earlier.” He whispered, looking at the watch on his wrist.

“What’s going on? Johnny? Ten? Someone answer me!” Taeyong’s voice was slightly raised, matching his anxious expression.

“Taeyong, I’m so sorry… You guys weren’t meant to be dragged into this.” Ten said, looking even more pained.

“Guys, I think someone’s coming.” Mark spoke up finally.

 He was right. The sounds of yelling came from behind the doors. And it wasn’t the terrified screams of students on campus. Rather, it was the sound of people yelling orders. I could barely make out what was being said, but their calm tones were a dead giveaway that we were in trouble. I looked at Ten, who had his eyes shut tightly, brow furrowed in concentration. I opened my mouth, to speak but his eyes snapped open first. He looked at the three of us, sadness too clearly present in his eyes, and sighed.

 “Alright, we don’t have much of choice at this point.”

“What are you talking about?” Taeyong took a step forward but Ten held up his hand, stopping him.

“Just… Hold on.”

 He walked over to the keyboard that was attached to the monitor, and leaning over, began typing furiously. None of us said anything as we were far too confused and taken back by what was happening. I looked at Taeyong, his eyes held nothing but confusion. Mark seemed to be in the same state, except it was much more evident in his face and actions. He was nervously looking at the doors and ringing his hands. I tried not to show how I was feeling, but it was difficult.

 “Alright. Get in.” Ten said, straightening and pointing to the bathtub structures.

“What?!” Mark yelped.

“If you want to live, get into the pods.”

“Ten… Please tell us what’s going on.” Taeyong put his hands-on Ten’s shoulders and pleaded.

“Taeyong, I’m trying to save your lives. Please… I’ll explain it when we’re somewhere that’s not here. If we wait any longer, we’ll all end up dead. Please. Just trust me.”

“I do.” I said, without thinking.

 Ten looked at me, a sort of gratitude blazed in his eyes. I nodded at him, and he looked back into Taeyong’s eyes. It was the sincerity in his voice that convinced me. I sighed and looked at the pods.

 “I’m trying to save you.” Ten said, desperation entering his voice, “We don’t have a lot of time.”

“O-Okay…” Taeyong said, hands shaking slightly as he took a step back.

 Mark looked even paler than before, as he robotically walked over to one of the pods. We all watched Ten as he rushed over to the machine and pressed a few more keys.

 “I’ve set it on a timer, we need to hurry.” He said and walked over to his own one and got in, lying down and crossing his arms.

 We all followed suit. Cautiously, I stepped into the watery substance. I let out a soft gasp, not expecting it to be warm. Removing my bag and setting it near my feet, I sat down. I gave Taeyong one last reassuring look. Although I didn’t know what our future held, I hoped that at least we’d be safe. He smiled, nervously.

 We both lay back, submerging ourselves in the liquid. It covered almost my entire body, except my face. I shut my eyes, confused and still waiting to wake up as if this was another dream. But nothing happened. I opened my eyes again, and to my surprise, a lid had appeared over the top of the pod. I reached my hand out to touch it, but suddenly I was falling.

 It was like no other experience in my entire life. The feeling of falling without the reassurance of an end. The feeling of my stomach going up as if on a never-ending roller coaster, made my head spin. I felt nauseous and out of breath. The thought of gasping for air entered my mind, but even trying to open my mouth seemed like a dangerous idea, as I was pretty sure at any moment I would throw up.

 But it suddenly stopped. Just like that. The falling stopped as I collided with the hard, solid ground. I lay there, confused and gasping for air, my chest heaving. My face was pressed against something that felt like concrete after the rain. The only feelings that I was aware of were that of my hands and knees which were stinging painfully from the collision, as well as the pounding in my head. The sudden pressure drop made my vision foggy and I was having trouble thinking. Slowly and carefully, I pressed my palms against the ground but hissed in pain as I retracted them immediately. Maybe I had damaged them a lot worse than I’d thought. I lay there, listening. The sounds of water dripping and hitting stones, echoed all around me. Water gently tricked somewhere, not far from me. That, coupled with the extremely hollow, empty droning, made my stomach tighten in anxiety. On top of that, the scents were overpowering. It smelled like wet mould, dirt, and decay. I was already feeling nauseous, but the smell only added to it, causing me to retch slightly. I needed to figure out where I was.  

 Using my forearms and elbows instead, I managed to push myself up off the cold floor. But overwhelming nausea caused me to bend back down. Gasping heavily, my mouth burned with the taste of bile. Finally, managing to push myself up, I turned as I got myself into a seated position, and looked around. It was dark, extremely dark. There was very limited lighting, coming from somewhere, but I couldn’t really tell. It seemed that most of the light was emanating from the vivid, sickeningly, greenish-blue pathway of water. It looked like I was in a sewer. The sudden sound of squeaking and hissing caused me to gasp and look around, but I couldn’t find the source of the sound due to the echoes skewing my perception. I swallowed, hard.

 Trembling slightly, I looked at my hands. They were covered in mud and blood. I grimaced and looked around. The floor which I was upon was wet and covered in dirt and grime. My head felt like it would split in two at any moment and I could barely think. Gritting my teeth and shaking immensely, I pushed myself to stand up. My legs shook as I put my weight on them, and I nearly keeled over right there but I managed to grip onto a wall that was to my right. Something was definitely wrong with my left ankle and putting weight upon was not an option. So, gripping the wall, I pushed myself to stand, and tried taking a shaky step. One by one, I limped closer towards the water. When I’d reached the edge of the platform I was on, I kneeled and looked down into the bright water. It seemed to go on forever. Looking left and right, it swirled off into the different paths and kept going far beyond my line of vision. The water cast an eerie, greenish-blue glow on the walls and on me.

 I wondered whether it was worth sticking my hands in there and washing them off but decided against it. Standing again, I looked around. There was just enough light for me to be able to make out pathways, one to the left and one to the right. I swallowed again, now quite aware of how dry my mouth and throat were.

 It suddenly struck me- Where was Taeyong?! And Mark, and Ten? Much too fast, I looked around again, causing my head to spin as I clutched the wall, feeling the bile rise to my mouth. I spat it out, retching and coughing. My head was pounding even harder if that was possible, and my throat was now burning. I breathed, heavily, and looked up slowly. I had no choice. If they weren’t here, I’d have to find them. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something lying there. Turning, carefully, I saw my bag. A feeling of relief seemed to flood through me. There was something comforting about having your stuff with you when you were completely alone.

 I limped over to it, picking it up and pulled it on. It hung to my right side and with every step I took it swayed, pulling my balance off slightly, but I’d have to get used to managing the extra weight. I looked around again, I had the option to go left or right. I bit my lip, feeling torn; there was no way to know for sure where the others were, or if they were even together. How was I going to find them? Closing my eyes, I listened to the sounds around me, hoping it would help me decide. I heard the same hissing and squeaking coming from somewhere to the right.

 “That’ll have to do.” I whispered, my voice echoing off the walls.

 Walking slowly, still holding onto the wall, I followed the right path. My eyes were finally adjusting to the dark tunnels, and I was finally able to get used to the scent. Walking too had become slightly easier, although the pain was still there, it had begun to dull. I walked and walked and walked, losing track of how long I’d been doing it. I couldn’t tell what was going on, I had no perception of time. All I could do was keep walking, in hopes that eventually I would come across someone or something.

 I’d been following the sounds of, what I could only hope were rats. Their scurrying feet pattering in the water, the sounds of them squeaking loudly in terror and anger as they fought with one another, it all made me feel tightly wound. I sighed, shakily. I was terrified, and I had nothing but my bag to hold onto.

 That’s when the scent hit me; it wasn’t strong but even the smallest whiff caused me to feel ill. It was disgusting. Like rotted, decaying trash, something that was so sickening it made your head spin… That’s what it smelled like. I covered my mouth, continuing to walk. But the scent only got stronger, and with it, the sound of rats became louder and louder. I had a chilling feeling I knew what I was going to encounter, but that didn’t make it any easier.

 I knew what was coming, even before I rounded the corner. The smell was so overpowering that I had to press my face against my sleeve, yet it still somehow permeated the cloth. I turned the corner, dreading what I was about to see, knowing I’d regret it. But I didn’t have much of a choice. As I rounded the corner, and my eyes landed upon it, I stumbled backwards. Unable to stop myself, I crashed, falling backwards and crawled as far as I could, before vomiting violently. I heard more rats gathering, and I knew I’d have to get away from them before they could come near me, but my head was spinning. Trembling even harder than before, I stood again. I felt drained. I looked back over, my stomach ached, and I stared at it…

 A body. A human body… Or what was left of it anyway. From the minimal lighting, you could see the decay… And it wasn’t pretty. Most of the person was missing due to the rats, which were here in great numbers fighting over this source of food. They’d managed to get down to the innards of the person, and from where I was, something that looked suspiciously like intestines were spilling out of them. Yet, mixed in with the blood and guts, I saw several metal parts. I held my breath, feeling sick, and walked around the corpse. My head felt lighter and even more painful than before. What the hell was going on here…?

 As I walked away, I turned to look back every now and again, a feeling of ominous dread hanging over me. How had that person died? Had something killed them? My mind was swirling with questions, but I knew I wouldn’t get answers- at least not until I found Ten.

 From up ahead, I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps. My heart leapt into my throat and ignoring all the pain my body was feeling, I broke into a sprint. The pain in my ankle was searing now, but the adrenaline was fueling me to push forward. As I rounded another corner, relief, happiness, and exhaustion all hit me.

 “Taeyong.” I gasped, my legs feeling weak and shaking even harder.

 The three boys turned around, eyes wide. Taeyong gasped, and even from here I could see the tears filling his eyes. He rushed towards me, embracing me tightly.

 “I thought I’d lost you.” He whispered, gasping.

“Never.” I mumbled, pulling away and smiling at him weakly.

 He seemed to be in the same banged up condition as me. Dirt, grime, and blood covered his face. I touched his cheek, where a gash was bleeding. He shook his head and smiled at me, reassuring me he was okay, but it hurt to see him like this.

 Looking over at Mark and Ten, they too were looking exhausted and dirty. Ten smiled at me and nodded, eyes softening and a seeming relief overtaking him. He looked alright; he had several scratches and bites on him, but nothing too bad. I looked at Mark, who grinned but somehow looked worse than all of us. A cut had appeared above his left eye, which was swollen and bleeding. He had several bite marks on his hands and arms and he seemed to be shaking.

 “We should hurry before the rats smell the blood.” Ten mumbled, looking exhausted.

 I nodded, and Taeyong and I joined them and continued walking. The silence seemed to become strained now that I was there. I was burning with a thousand questions, but I wasn’t sure how to ask them. I didn’t know if Ten even wanted to talk. I, for one, was exhausted and talking seemed like it would take the last bit of energy I had left, out of me.

 “I know you want to ask something so… Ask.” Ten chuckled, wincing slightly, grabbing at his side.

“Are you ok?”

“Are any of us ok?” He asked, smiling coldly.

“Right…” I whispered.

“I’m not mad at you. I was. But I’m not anymore.” He said, glancing sideways at me.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I would’ve had to come back here eventually.”

“Ten… Where is… Here?”

“A dream.”

“What?” I stopped dead in my tracks.

“We’re trapped in a dream.”

“You’re crazy…”

“Look… Believe me or don’t believe me, I’m telling you the truth. We’re trapped inside someone else’s dream. It’s more of a nightmare, to be honest with you but… This is someone else’s subconscious.”

“You’re crazy.” I repeated, even more terrified and taking a step backwards.

“Johnny. I don’t know how to convince you of this. 3 years ago, we were brought here. It was a project that a science company created. The company was known as Science Modern.” “Why does that sound familiar?”

“It should be. There was a huge lawsuit filed against them. It was in the news for ages. They went bankrupt.”

“So… What happened?”

“They tried to create a machine that would allow you to enter a test subject’s dreams. They were actually doing really well. They created the machine, that was the easy part.”

“That’s supposed to be the easy part?”

“They needed live subjects. But with something that could go so wrong, the Board of Ethics would never pass them. Experimenting on people is something that can have serious repercussions. You’re in the psych program, you should know that. Anyway… They were desperate. They needed more money, and they needed results. So, they put out ads for young people. People who wouldn’t necessarily be missed. People who could disappear and no one would question it. Anyway, eventually, they gathered enough people. Most of them were just desperate for money…” There was a distinct pause, but he continued, as if nothing had happened, “And then, they eventually started experimenting.”

“What happened?”

“The first subject died. The process was so taxing on his body, that his heart gave out. Science Modern successfully covered it up, saying he was a boy who was working on another project and had a series of heart defects… No one said another word, after all, it was a science company that was making these claims, and they’d never get their information wrong… They continued testing. The second person managed to last for a few hours, but he too eventually had a heart attack. Science Modern realized that technically live patients weren’t going to cut it. They needed to find someone who was… Alive but not really.”

“Comatose patients…” I whispered, horrified.

“Exactly. They managed to convince a family to sign over their comatose son… And it worked. The boy was barely alive but because he wasn’t technically living, nothing bad seemed to be happening. So, they went with it.”

“That’s disgusting…”

“It gets worse… They realized that they needed people who were willing to go into the person’s subconscious. But because they had a limited number of scientists, who weren’t expendable, they needed civilians. At least until the method was perfected.”

“Holy shit…”

“Yup… The remaining people who’d signed up? They sent them into the comatose patient’s subconscious, along with guards who were basically robots, not knowing if they could get the people out or if they would die… And it worked. They managed to put people into the dreams, people were freely able to explore and act on their own volition within someone else’s mind… But the major downside was that they couldn’t leave. These young people, including children, were trapped inside someone’s mind. Anyway… Someone in Science Modern suddenly grew a conscience and decided to rat out the whole operation. Most of the members and scientists fled and changed their identities, but the CEO was sued. The public never found out what he was sued for but… The company ended up going bankrupt.”

“So… You’re…”

“Yeah. I’m one of the people who signed up.” His voice broke slightly as did my heart.

“All of the people here are young. We’ve been trapped for what feels like forever. There’s no concept of time here. Everyone just exists. And it doesn’t help that the mind of this boy is obviously very troubled… I told you, this world isn’t safe. These aren’t dreams of someone who hasn’t suffered a trauma… This boy is very ill… And what’s worse is that those AI guards have evolved their own conscience… They believe they’re doing the right thing, keeping us here. Them, mixed with the monsters that live in this boy’s mind… Well, it’s safe to say that this is about surviving. The remaining victims, we grouped together and formed a sort of resistance. We called ourselves Neo Culture Technology… As an oppose to Science Modern… It feels cheesy to say it now but, it helps us stay close and feel united. It feels like we’re really fighting for something.”  

“But, how’d you escape?”

“I found one of the scientist’s workbooks. Must’ve been mistakenly sent in at some point. Well, he had notes on maybe a successful way to evacuate the survivors from here. But nothing was solid yet. I decided I didn’t have much of a choice. I had to see if any of his plans were solid. The method was basically to rework the machine that Science Modern had created and make a gateway out. One of the boys actually managed to build one, but I wasn’t about to send a bunch of terrified and innocent people through it… So, I decided I’d go through. If it worked, I’d find a way to get back and help the others come through.”

“What if it didn’t…?”

“If not, I’d die… But that would be a better fate than what I was living in…”

 He looked weary and regretful. I placed a hand on his shoulder and shaking his head, as if trying to rid thoughts from his mind, he smiled at me weakly.

 “Anyway, it worked. I found myself in the real world, in the middle of nowhere. I walked for days trying to find someone or a sign of life. I ended up hitching rides with strangers until I found out about your school.”

“The university?”

“I heard rumours that the machine had been moved there, under tight security. So, I made my way there. I blended in, went to classes, tried my best to seem like I was part of the student life. And then I found the machine. But… I didn’t know how to activate it or if I’d even end up in the same world I had started in. I couldn’t be sure of anything… So, I had to test the machine. Unfortunately, on one of these days, Taeyong happened to walk into the room.” He smiled wryly.

I looked at Taeyong who shrugged, “Ten already told us what happened but… I don’t really recall any of this.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t…  I had to rewind time…”

“But how-” “The AI guards have capabilities to rewind time. Since they’re artificial intelligence, and because it’s a dream world, there are no set consequences for them- for the living, it was a different case… They would often rewind time when someone died and force them to relive it. It’s their method of torture… And fun…” He shivered involuntarily but continued, “I got into a tight spot with one of them. I killed it and managed to take it apart. I found the component that allowed them to rewind time and removed it. We used a lot of the parts I’d found from it to make the escape pod… Anyway, I hung onto the complex and it came in use… But, in the real world, it had obvious consequences. The falling stars? That’s my fault. When I rewound real time, it became extremely clear that the world wasn’t used to spinning in reverse and that it caused massive shifts in real time… Things that weren’t meant to happen for another hundred years would occur much faster. That’s why I was so hesitant to rewind time when Taeyong died… I knew something else would happen and I was already responsible for one mistake, I wasn’t sure if I could handle two… But you looked so upset.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Thank you for doing it…” I whispered, looking at my shoes, “I don’t understand… If you could rewind time, couldn’t you go back far enough to before the whole situation happened?”

He chuckled and shook his head, “They only rewind for a few hours, if you’re lucky. Most are only meant for a few minutes… It wouldn’t work. And now the component I had is dead. It was pretty low in power when I first got it and using it to rewind in hours must’ve taken a real toll…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’d rather see Taeyong living too. So, we’re now here again. But, the good thing is, I can send you three through when we get back to our base camp. We’re almost there now.”

“What-”

“You three shouldn’t be here in the first place. So, when we get back to the base camp, I’ll send you through. The rest of us will shortly join you, I promise.”

“What about those people who were chasing you?”

“Those were the AI guards. Almost seemed human, didn’t they? They’re built like humans… Flesh, blood, bone… But they’re made of parts like a machine. They have their own mind and can make connections… They’re smart, but we’re smarter. We’ve managed for as long as we have so…”

 I was about to ask him another question when he pointed. We all followed his gaze and hand and looked to see a door. He smiled brightly and sighed.

 “This is it. Shield your eyes okay?”

“What?”

 He walked towards the door and pushed against it. As it opened, blinding light poured in. All three of us ducked our heads downwards, wincing and gasping. Ten, shielding his eyes, took a step forward and breathed deeply. Fresh air hit my lungs and I gasped. It was overwhelming. I looked up, slowly moving my hand away from in front of my eyes, to see a forest expanding largely in front of us. My mouth fell open, and I glanced at Taeyong and Mark who also seemed perplexed.

 “It’s a dream, boys… It’s never what you think.” Ten said, stepping out into the evening glow of the setting sun.

 Taeyong and Mark followed, with me closely behind. As I put my foot down on the fresh earth, and the scent of the evening reached my nose, I felt pain and emotion overwhelm me. The sounds of birds twittering in the glow of the sun, a river rushing downstream, and even the small critters squeaking loudly all seemed so foreign. My eyes, still adjusting to the sudden brightness, picked up little dots of colour scurrying around in the golden light. Trees, taller than I’d ever seen in my entire life, reached towards the sky, branched out and created a dappled light texture that fell upon my skin. I breathed in; the smell of rain and dirt and life all consumed me as I stood there. Ten looked at me, a sad smile gracing his lips.

 “It seems beautiful, right? The boy whose head we’re in… He was a painter. He used to sit and watch these scenes for hours. Very talented boy.”

“How do you know?”

“He was my friend.” Ten said, blinking suddenly, and looking down, avoiding eye-contact.

“Your friend?”

“Yeah… Best friend actually… He stuck with me through some tough stuff. And uh… He was in an accident and that’s when the coma happened and now… This…” Ten’s eyes glazed over slightly.

 I wanted to comfort him, but… I didn’t know what to say.

 “Ten, I’m sorry…”

“It sucks, dude, but… You move through it. You learn from it.”

“That’s brave.”

“Maybe.” He sighed, “Anyway, we should hurry. Sun’s setting… That’s when it becomes less beautiful.”

 We followed along behind him, looking around in awe at the world around us. It was beautiful. Absolutely every detail seemed real. Ten’s speech still had me reeling. It was difficult to digest it, but I had to. I couldn’t really tell what was real anymore and what wasn’t. But everything here… All of it seemed to be real. It felt so incredibly real.

 “There.” Ten’s voice suddenly rang out.

 He pointed to a tree. But it wasn’t an ordinary tree. It had three platforms that ran up its trunk. Each platform had cabin-like structures. There were stairs that led to each level, and even from here, you could see people walking along the levels.

 Mouth open, I looked at Taeyong and Mark, who also seemed very awestruck. Ten saw our expressions and laughed.

 “It looks good right…? This is our current hideout. We have several for any time we have to move suddenly.”

“You built this?” Mark asked.

“No. Fourteen people is not enough to do something like this… The boy in the coma… This is his doing.”

“Fourteen?”

“There’s fourteen of us…” Ten said, smiling sadly, “That’s all that remains.”

“How many did you start with?”

“There used to be fifty subjects. Most of them died from the monsters in here, some of them were caught by the AI guards. Others just went missing. Now it’s the fourteen of us left.”

“That’s horrible.” Taeyong said, in a soft voice.

“That’s life…” Ten sighed and began walking forward.

 He waved his hand upward and jumped up and down. Several people noticed and began to wave back, but, I’m assuming, from seeing us, they immediately froze and began talking to each other. Ten simply kept walking forward. I looked at the other two and nervously smiled.

 “They don’t look very happy to see us.” I mumbled softly, so Ten wouldn’t hear.

“They’re probably just being cautious. This world seems dangerous.” Taeyong said.

“How did you guys end up getting hurt?” I asked, staring at their injuries.

“When I crashed, I guess,” Mark said softly, “I landed in the middle of a rat nest. There were so many… I ended up running into a wall trying to get away from them and got cut on a rock that was poking out.” He pointed to the cut above his eye. “And well, the swollen part was because I ran into the wall.” He winced.

“And you?” I asked nodding to the cut on Taeyong’s cheek.

“Ten had a blade on him… I ran into it.” He laughed sheepishly.

“Idiot…” I chuckled.

“That’s me.” Taeyong grinned and shook his head, “Where were you?” “Quite far from you guys… I think… I couldn’t really tell how much time had passed.”

“Yeah, it was difficult for us as well. By the time I’d found Taeyong it’d felt like hours had already passed.”

“You guys were also split up?”

“Yeah… But, Ten seemed to find me relatively fast.” Mark said, shrugging.

“He probably knew his way around down there.” I looked at the smaller boy up front.

“Probably-”

“Guys, c’mon!” Ten turned around a bright smile on his face.

 We had reached the base of the tree and another boy was standing there waiting. He had a giant smile on his face, dimples showing deeply on cheeks. He seemed to have a gentle air about him like he was patient and kind. He had messy, dark blonde hair, with dark, but kind eyes. When Ten was within arm’s length, he threw himself onto the other boy, hugging him tightly. The boy laughed and hugged him back, and I could see tears welling in his eyes.

 “You’re back.” He said in a soft, yet deep voice.

“Did you doubt it?” Ten said smiling brightly.

“Never.”

“Guys, this is Jaehyun.” Ten said, introducing us.

“And you’ve brought… Friends?”

“It’s a long story… They’re from the real world.”

“Why would you bring people back?” He asked, panic suddenly rising in his voice.

“Well, it’s not a big deal. We can send them back. Jaehyun, we can go home now.” Ten said, grabbing hold of his hand excitedly.

“Ten…” Jaehyun’s eyes widened and he sighed.

“Wh-What happened?”

“The AIs… They found it and seized it.”

“N-No… No way…”

“We tried to stop them, but we couldn’t. They almost killed Renjun in the process. I had to make a choice.” Jaehyun’s eyes were begging for forgiveness as his voice broke slightly.

“I understand.” Ten said, smiling, “You did the right thing, Jaehyun. Don’t look so worried.”

“I’m so sorry…” He sighed, looking at us.

Turning, Ten sighed and looked at us, “Looks like you’ll be here a little longer than I expected. I’m sorry but, until I can get that machine back… You’ll have to stay with us.”

 I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. The entire world had been thrown upside down in a matter of a few hours, and I couldn’t even find the words to express what I was feeling. Exhaustion, confusion, absolute fear? Nothing seemed to capture all that I was feeling. I just nodded, knowing my voice would betray me and show the fear I was feeling.

 “As long as you remain with us, nothing will happen to you. I promise.” Ten said, eyes locked with ours.

“I believe you.” Taeyong said softly, smiling sadly.

“Thank you…” Mark nodded.

“I’m sorry this had to happen, but we’ll gladly stay with you if you let us.” Taeyong added.

“Of course.” Ten said, smiling, “Jaehyun, this is Johnny, Taeyong, and Mark.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” He said, nodding.

“Jaehyun is good at keep track of everything.” Ten said.

“Are you the leader?” Mark asked, looking at Jaehyun.

“Oh no. We don’t really have a leader. No one’s stepped up to the job. We just function.”

“A leader would be nice, but no one has the skills.” Ten said, sighing.

 We all began to walk up the stairs. With every step we took, my legs began to feel more and more like lead. I had no energy left to ask them where we were going, all I could do was follow.

 “We’re taking you to the infirmary.” Jaehyun said, looking back at us.

“Thank god.” Mark laughed, the exhaustion starting to show on his face.

“You’ve been through a lot it seems.” He said, smiling gently at us.

“Not as much as you.” I said without really thinking, but he stopped in his tracks, staring at me.

“That’s very kind of you.” He said, tilting his head and letting out a soft hum.

“Y-You’re welcome.” I said slightly flustered.

 We kept walking up the steps, and at the third and final platform, we walked off onto it. I noticed that no one seemed to be around. It was eerily quiet, except for the sound of the surrounding wilderness. The sun had finally set by this point, and the inky blue sky was starting to glow with stars that were showing themselves. I was in awe, staring upwards at the sky- it was beautiful.

 “This is it.” Ten said, leading us into a cabin.

 It was well furnished- with things you wouldn’t expect to be in a forest. At the end of the room, a monitor screen was hooked up to a boy who lay on a bed, with a ventilator over his mouth. I stared at him, confused. The boy had rounded features and light brown hair, he seemed to be a little younger than me, but there was something about him. His features seemed expressionless.

 “Isn’t this the forest?” Mark asked, staring.

“I told you, it’s a dream… Things don’t have to make sense.” Ten said, softly.

“That’s-”

 Ten looked at me and nodded before I could finish. He walked towards the bed and I followed. I stared at him and a sort of sadness filled me. I glanced sideways at Ten, wondering how he was. He had a fond look in his eyes and glanced at me. He smiled and sighed.

 “Yeah… This is him.”

“How is he here?”

“Don’t ask me… There are some things that even I don’t really understand. All I know is this is really his body.”

“Ten… I have a question.”

“Hm?”

“If he gets hurt-”

“We’ll probably die.”

“Right…”

“If his brain is damaged any more in any way… This world will cease to exist. Brain activity doesn’t occur in coma patients but… Some of them can dream, which scientists still don’t know how to explain. There was once when his ventilator got loose, and he wasn’t getting oxygen… The world literally began crumbling all around us. It was a close call.”

“That’s terrifying.”

“It was… But, that’s not why I take care of him. But it is another incentive to make sure he stays safe, but…” He trailed off, lost in thought.

“Will he ever wake up?”

“Maybe. I really hope so… When we find a way out, he can be brought to a real doctor.” Ten said, looking at me, tears present in his eyes, “They’ll know what to do… And even if they don’t, he’ll get the proper care he deserves.”

“You said he was your best friend.”

“He is my best friend. He’s still there… I know he is.”

“What’s his name?”

“Kun.”

“Guys, you should get some rest.” Jaehyun’s voice brought me back to the present.

 I nodded, suddenly extremely aware again of the tiredness and pain I was feeling.

 “You should probably wash up first. Get those cuts cleaned as well.” Jaehyun commented.

“Probably.” Taeyong yawned.

 Wistfully, I looked at the clean beds and nodded. Cleaning up now would be a good idea. A hot shower to clean all the blood and dirt and grim off me sounded heavenly. Jaehyun led us towards the back of the medical cabin, where there were showers. He opened a cupboard, getting out three towels and handing them to us. He also found some extra clothes: three plain, white shirts and three brown shorts, in sizes as best as he could match to us.

 “After you’ve showered, you should definitely get some well-deserved rest.”

“Thank you, for showing us all this kindness.” Taeyong said.

“Thank you for getting Ten back to us safely.” Jaehyun’s eyes softened and he nodded to us, “I hope you sleep well.” He turned and nodded to Ten then left the room.

“Get showered. Then rest. You’ll have plenty of time to explore later.”

“Thank you again, Ten.” I said, sighing.

“Not a problem.”

 We all got into the individual showers and began washing ourselves off. The hot water hit my back and I swear I could’ve fallen asleep right there. The cuts on my hands and knees stung but I knew they were being cleaned so I could bear with it. When I finally felt clean, I grabbed the towel and dried myself off, then wrapping it around my waist, walked out of the shower and pulled the fresh clothes on. It felt so good to be clean and washed.

 I walked over to the beds and saw Mark and Taeyong already fast asleep. Although I was tired, I wanted to smell the clean air again, so I walked out of the cabin and to the edge of the platform, leaning against the railing that was there. The wind rustled my hair, and I realized that rain was falling gently. I looked at the sky, the stars were faded by a thin veil of clouds that blurred them. The sound of rain pattering against the leaves, while crickets chirped away, and owls hooted every now and then, although foreign and strange to me, was extremely comforting. I felt calm and peaceful for the first time since I’d woken up in the psych classroom…

 It was almost laughable. How far away that felt now… How very odd and strange to think that just a few hours ago my biggest concern was my grade…

 I let out a short laugh, sadness beginning to overwhelm me. What if I was never able to go home again? What if this is how we had to live forever? What if we’d spend the rest of our lives running? All of it would be my fault. I’d gotten Taeyong and Mark into this mess too… I gripped the railing tighter, ignoring the sharp stings of pain I felt in my hands, frustration and confusion pulsing through me. Was this even real?

 I felt a hand on my back, and I turned my head to see Ten.

 “Oh… Hey.” I said, quietly.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“I just wanted to listen…” I nodded outwards.

“Yeah, I get that… It’s beautiful to just listen to the world.”

“Yeah…”

“But, that’s not all, is it? Something’s bothering you.”

“I just… I feel so stupid. If it hadn’t been for me, Mark and Taeyong wouldn’t be here.”

“Trust me, Johnny… Guilt can kill a person. You’re better off accepting their forgiveness. They would never hold this against you.” He rested his forearms against the railing and leaned forward slightly.

“How do I just forgive myself?”

“You won’t… Not for a long time. I think you have to find it in yourself. You have to learn that… It’s okay to make mistakes and that we’re all going to make them. Sometimes, our mistakes make us better people.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You’d be kidding yourself if you thought there wasn’t one person in the world who didn’t have regrets… Or guilt…” His voice heavy.

“You seem to have a lot knowledge, for a kid that is.” I smiled, nudging him gently.

“Just cause you’re an old man, doesn’t mean we all are.” He said, grinning slightly.

A secondary feeling of guilt washed over me, “I’m sorry… For what happened today.”

“I told you. I forgive you. I would’ve had to come back anyway. Truth is Johnny, I was scared to come back. I was scared that more of my friends might’ve died… The people here, this group we’ve formed, they’re like family to me. Without them, I’d be nothing. The thought that any single one of them could’ve died… It terrifies me.”

“That makes you a good friend.”

“Some would say that makes me foolish.”

“Not me.”

“Then that would make you foolish.” He grinned.

“Who said I wasn’t.” I smiled back.

 He turned and looked at me, eyes shining in the darkness. He looked like he wanted to say something important, so I faced him as well.

 “I want to ask you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“You have all the choice in the world, if you three want to leave tomorrow morning, you’re more than welcome. However, I… I really do think all of us could benefit if you decided to stay. We’d have more people and you’d have a safe place to stay.

“I’m sure the boys feel the same way. I know I do.”

“Then… Don’t just stay… Become part of the group.” As an afterthought, he said, “You’d all make great additions.”

“Become part of Neo… Uh, what was it?”

“Neo Culture Technology.” Ten said, smiling.

“You really sure you want us? What about the rest of your group.”

“It’s a resistance, Johnny. We’re fighting the injustice we’ve experienced. No matter what, we’ll always accept those who are willing to fight. Those willing to try.”

“I can’t speak on behalf of Taeyong and Mark, but… I’ll join.”

“Good.”

 Ten stuck his hand out and I stared at him for a second. He smiled, and I smiled back. I gripped his hand tightly and shook it. As we let go, he sighed gently.

 “Welcome to Neo Culture Technology, Johnny.”

“Glad to be here…”

“You should get some sleep.” He said, patting my back, “I’m gonna head to my room. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

 As Ten walked away, I looked back out at the scene in front of me. If this was what life chose to give me, then I would take it and work with it. There was no saying what Taeyong and Mark would do, although deep down I knew they would stay, I, for sure, was going to stay and fight for as long as I was needed. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. Opening my eyes again and staring out at the horizon, I smiled slightly.

 “NCT, huh?”

[dedicatedsuccessgunited-pos-blog]

While volunteering under G-United Programme at Kajiado County Kenya, one of my Community Engagement Projects was intiating crop farming. The Maasai community are known for cattle keeping but it decide to help them do mixed farming. The rains here are short but it is possible to take advantage of such rains to grow fast crops such as legumes, kales and tomatoes. Have a look at how my project was a sucesss.

[nctsolar-remade]

Stay Here

Description: “I don’t want to hurt you…” “You already have.”  Pairing: Johnny x Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst  Word Count: 1,360 Warnings: Vague mentions of sex, Johnny (he’s lethal) Requested: No Song Recommendation: Stay Here – Gaho A/N: Thrown together because I’m Boo-Boo The Fool and one of my own text posts as well Johnny’s selfies and photos made my heart tremble like a small dog. He really played me this time. I cannot actually believe him. Foolish. (i wrote this bc everyone got stressed when i said “morning after with johnny,” i didn’t expect it to get sad) 

I breathed in gently, eyes opening sleepily. Light was flooding through the open curtains and spilling onto the floor, bathing everything in its glow. I breathed in deeply, letting my eyes flutter shut and swallowing lightly. My thoughts shifted through the previous evening and how I’d spent it. My cheeks flushed in warmth and I couldn’t help the smile that brightened my face. I opened my eyes again and sat up, looking around.

The room was clean and furnished elaborately. It felt expensive… My fingers gently traced over the sheets, their crisp, cool, smoothness contrasted heavily against the soft, warmth of my fingertips. I continued to run my fingers up and down the edge of the blanket.

My eyes glazed over as I thought about him. His hands, his fingers, his lips, his nose, his arms… All of him… My stomach ached a little just thinking about his smile. I didn’t know about butterflies, but he definitely inspired an anxious pang within me. It ached to my very core, and I couldn’t place it. Maybe it was because he was a prominent figure, maybe it was because he was my childhood best friend. Regardless of it all, he was mine.

My face immediately heated up, and I fell backwards, my head hitting the pillow and a giggle emitting from my mouth. My chest felt tight- almost like I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I might explode with these giddy feelings. I turned my head to the side, staring at his side of the bed.

His side.

I reached out my hand as if to reach for him, but his figure wasn’t there. The ache returned to my stomach… Every possible scenario raced through my head, my heart pounding madly. I shut my eyes, forcing it to stop, but it only became louder.

But the sound of the bathroom door opening caught my attention. I sat up again, eyes snapping in the direction of the bathroom. His gentle eyes scanned the room, meeting mine. His hair, gently falling in all the right ways. His eyes, always soft and caring. His lips, plush and parted slightly. There was something so gentle in the way he smiled at me, the way he walked over, and the way he laughed as he pointed out my messy hair.

Cheeks flushing over again, I drew the blanket higher, covering part of my face. His hands darted to the camera that was hanging from his neck. My voice stuck in my throat, as I attempted to stop him, but he’d already snapped the picture. I dropped the blanket, frowning a little but he just smiled back.

“You look beautiful.” “That’s incredibly cheesy.” “How long have you known me, Y/N?” His smile widened, eyes crinkling slightly. “Too long apparently,” I drew my knees up to my chest, pulling the blanket closer. “You have always been beautiful.”

I chose not to reply to that, rather just enjoy the feeling of the sunlight warming my skin. I shut my eyes again and took a deep breath. I reminisced in the feelings of his soft skin pressed to mine, the way his fingers drew circles on my skin as we lay next to each other, his lips feverishly pressing to my neck- all of it seemed so foreign in this moment, yet oddly tangible. I looked at him and he tilted his head questioningly.

“I was thinking about…” I trailed off, looking at him. “Last night?” He asked genuinely.

I nodded, fingers tightening on the blankets, my palms sweating slightly.

“What about it?” “What does it mean for us?” “What do you mean?” “Not to sound absolutely dramatic but… What are we?” I asked, my voice trembling now. “I’ve always considered you to be my soulmate Y/N. That will never change. You are my best friend before anything else, but… You are also, as you already know, the love of my life.” “Mm…” I shut my eyes and hummed, warmth spreading throughout me. “Last night was good.” He said, the smug confidence appearing. “You were good,” I whispered, eyes opening. “We’re good.” He corrected, and as an afterthought added, “Together.”

My cheeks warmed again. I smiled at him, heart pounding in my ears, and chest, and throat. My hands shook slightly as I unfurled them. His soft blush and gentle smile made my heart only pound that much harder. It was only then that I noticed he was dressed.

“You’re dressed.” “I have a meeting.” All the life that had filled me a few seconds ago, drained out, leaving bitter resentment, “Of course,” My voice, barely a whisper, sounded sharp.

I could sense his frown from here without even looking. I glanced his way and was proven right; his brow was furrowed, and his eyes darkened slightly. My heart ached… He didn’t deserve that, but I wasn’t wrong either… Always busy, always flying to another city, always working late…

“I don’t really have a choice, Y/N…” The hurt shone through in the way his voice wavered. “I know…” “Then why-” “This is how it always is Johnny… You’re here, I tell myself I shouldn’t do it, I fall anyway, I let you in… And then you’re gone a day later… I never learn my lesson I suppose.” “Y/N…” “Forget about it… You should go. You’ll be late.” “You’re not being fair-” “Is it fair to make me wait? To never give me a sign of what we are? To never clearly answer… Is it fair that I have always waited for you? And maybe you don’t like it when I say these things, but it hurts so much… I… I love you…”

The words echoed emptily off the walls and resonated in my ears. Tears welled in my eyes and I ducked my head downwards, leaning my forehead against my knees. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down, but it wasn’t really working. Slowly, the tears began to fall. First one, then two, then like a rainstorm that had been building, they fell freely.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice wavering more now. “You already have…”

Silence filled the room; the sound of my sniffles every now and then were the only breaks in the silence. I could tell I’d hurt him… Part of me was angry at myself, and the other part didn’t care. But that didn’t stop it from hurting. I wiped my face, attempting to stem the flow of tears but it seemed never-ending.

“Please don’t cry…” His voice, almost a beg. “Then stay here…”

My selfish demand shocked even me. I was surprised with myself for acting so needy, but in this moment, what I needed more than anything was for him to stay. For him to be right next to me. For his hands to pull me into him and keep me there. For him to hold tightly and stay.

His eyes widened, mouth opening ever so slightly. I stretched out my hand, an invitation to join me, to be a part of the warmth and the comfort. His smile appeared again, cheeks flushing over slightly. He stood up pulling out his phone, texting someone, probably saying that the meeting would have to be delayed. Setting aside his camera, he shed his coat, then shirt, then pants, and slipped back under the covers, body pressing against mine. My mind numbed over, thoughts of him overwhelming my senses.

The way his hands gently grazed over my skin left goosebumps. I looked at him, eyes slightly sore now, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. There was a serious look in his eyes.

“I love you Y/N.”

And it was real. It was warm. It was everything I needed.

“I love you too Johnny.”

He held my hand, fingers intertwining, and squeezing gently. He leaned in again, this time pressing a kiss to my lips. Soft and sweet and safe. Nothing was more comforting than the feeling of his lips pressing to mine, gentle and kind and requiring nothing more than me. He never expected me to be anyone but myself. He pulled away, smiling softly.

“Thank you for staying.” “Always.”