#i hate math and science but it pays well and i want to be secure in my future

[britbi]

bleh

[nothere-notthere-nowhere]

Studying

Word count: 1704

Pairing: Natasha x Reader (platonic)

Warnings: panic attack, let me know if I missed any

Summary: Studying for an exam is overwhelming. Nat helps.

A/N: Hi! So, this is very much just me projecting my own thoughts and feelings onto the reader lol. There’s no real romance here, just Nat being a good friend. I also did not edit this, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes. 

It was late, you realized as you closed your textbook. You’d been studying for some stupid math final the next day and time had clearly gotten away from you.

Balancing avenger work with being a full-time student was difficult but you enjoyed it, for the most part. Thankfully, it was online schooling so you were able to complete work on your own time, but it was still difficult. Deciding to go back to school in your mid twenties had been a big step for you. 

You’d always hated school. It never came easy, despite being a science genius. You were what most people called brilliant. You thought it was just being creative. You thought in a different way than most people. Tony Stark had sought you out when you were fresh out of high school right before the invasion of New York. 

But, despite having a secure job working for the avengers in the compound, you had decided it wouldn’t be a bad thing to go back to school. Just because you were good at making supersuits and other technological advancement-esque stuff didn’t mean you were that smart.

For example, calc two was kicking your ass right now. Making new impact resistant polymer suits for the gang was a hell of a lot easier for you than whatever the fuck this textbook was trying to explain. 

“Stupid math,” you groaned, rubbing a hand over your face as you looked back down at the problem you’d already tried to solve four times. There was no way in hell you were going to pass this class. 

Fighting back tears of frustration as you crumpled up the paper, you stood from your desk. It was near three in the morning and you were exhausted. But you would not let yourself fail this exam. Your grade in the class was already less than acceptable and failing your final would definitely leave you with an F.

You walked to the kitchen quietly, not wanting to wake anyone. Coffee would surely settle you down and give you enough energy to make it until the morning. You had to figure this out.

“I told you to ask Tony or Bruce for help,” Natasha’s voice startled you.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” You asked, drying your eyes before you turned to her.

“No, don’t worry.” She had an amused look on her face. “You’re still on calc, right?”

“Yeah,” your shoulders slumped. “But I have to be able to do this on my own. I shouldn’t have to annoy them with questions about basic math all the time.”

“Calculus is not basic math.” Natasha snorts at you.

“To them it is.”

“Well, make sure you go to sleep at some point, okay?” The concern in her eyes was evident and you just nodded, grabbing the cup of coffee you’d just brewed.

You took a sip before making your way back to your room. The textbook sat right where you’d left it and the sight of it bright a fresh wave of tears. 

You were a scientist for the avengers, damn it. Why were you crying over math? But your parents words flashed through your brain, reminding you that you were just a stupid kid. 

The relationship between you and your parents had always been rocky. They had held you to unachievable standards and no matter how much effort you put into school, they were never satisfied. And they always made sure you knew that.

“You think you’ll get anywhere in life with grades like these?” your father had shouted at you many times. “You’re just lazy. Do you know how much money we pay for you to go to this school? And this is how you repay us? You’re embarrassing.”

Your hand shook as you picked up your pencil once again, trying to figure out that stupid problem. There were so many rules and steps and none of them made sense to you! 

When the answer you got still didn’t match the one in the textbook, you slammed your pencil down with a scoff.

“You’re so stupid!” You said to yourself, tears leaking from your eyes. You started to erase your own writing again, when you glanced at the time, half past three. You were never going to figure this out.

It was becoming hard to read the problems through your watery eyes as you fought back the tears. You had to figure this out! But it was no use, you dropped your head onto the desk, holding in sobs. 

Your thoughts began to run with your father’s words. Embarrassing, lazy, stupid. You felt that familiar sense of self-loathing begin to rise within you and you were helpless. This wasn’t even the last unit you had to learn before your final. 

You were overwhelmed and you didn’t realize that your chest was tightening or your breath was becoming short. But when you lost feeling in your hands, and your face was tense and tingling, it was obvious.

You were having a panic attack. 

You were no stranger to these, of course. But, that didn’t make it any easier. It had been quite some time since you’d had a panic attack this severe, too, which made it that much scarier. 

You slid off your chair, pressing your back against the wall and pulling your knees up to your chest. You screwed your eyes shut, the heels of your shaking hands pressing into your eyes. If you had more control over the situation, you’d have tried to quiet your hyperventilation.

A soft touch to your hand brought you somewhat back to reality.

“Y/N,” a soft voice called. Your fingers instinctively clutched at the hand that pulled yours away from your face. 

“Y/N, you’re okay. I’m right here.” Nat’s voice was softer than you may have ever heard it before. 

“Nat, I-I,” you choked out, trying to say anything.

“No, don’t talk. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Her free hand rested on your knee, squeezing lightly. “Can you breathe with me?”

You tried to follow her soft ‘In’ and ‘out’ over and over. Your breaths were forced, almost painful as the panic refused to let up.

“Good job, dorogoy,” You felt the redhead scoot next to you, her arm wrapping around your shaking frame. “You’re doing amazing, I’ve got you.”

She pulled you into her gently. You were starting to gain the feeling back into your hands, and your facial muscles seemed to loosen just slightly. But, you were still shaking violently as you tried to stop yourself from sobbing.

“You’re okay,” Nat soothed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m here.”

You leaned into her, balling your fist up in her shirt. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked after you had nearly stopped crying. 

“I’m gonna fail,” you whimpered. You felt pathetic.

“You know,” Nat sighed, “who cares?”

“What?” Her words confuse you.

“You are smart, Y/N. You already have a job, and after working for Stark, you could get in anywhere if you decided to leave. This is one class and regardless of how you do on the final, no one will think any less of you.”

“But-”

“No,” Nat cut you off. “Your grades in some stupid college class don’t matter. I promise, even if you do fail, we’ve all seen how hard you’ve worked in each of your classes. That’s what matters. Your work ethic and your commitment to your studies is worth so much more than sacrificing your wellbeing to secure a passing grade.”

“I feel so stupid.”

“You shouldn't. It’s a tough class. You should be proud of yourself for trying, even if you don’t get the results you wanted.”

“I just wanted to prove them wrong. Even if they wouldn’t know. I wanted to prove to them I was smart.  But they were right, I’m just stupid.”

Your words hang in the air for a moment. Natasha knows you’re talking about your parents. They’d all heard about the verbal abuse you’d suffered through at the hands of the people who’d raised you.

“You are not stupid.” She tells you firmly. “You are brilliant. You’ve created a new polymer that is even better at stopping bullets than vibranium while also working as a material for clothing. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Yeah, but…”

“This is just one subject. I sure as hell can’t do calculus! You’re good at what you’re good at. I’m good at kicking ass, Clint’s good with a bow, Wanda’s good at… well magic. You’re good at science shit.”

You were silent. You knew she had a point.

“I know that won’t make you feel better about this.�� Natasha explains. “But you can’t beat yourself up for this. You need to take care of yourself. Let’s go to bed, now, and we can ask Tony or Bruce for help in the morning.”

“I need to study,” you start.

“No, you need sleep.” Natasha’s voice is firm again. “You can’t sacrifice your health or your sanity for a test. You are more important than a test.”

“Okay.” You weren’t entirely convinced but, for now, your parent’s words were fading away.

Natasha helps you up before wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug. You savor the comfort of her embrace, before realizing just how exhausted you are.

“Get in bed,” Natasha nudges you towards the bed. You lay down, eyes closing as soon as your head hits the pillow. 

Nat pulls the blanket up before turning towards the door.

“Wait,” you call, hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“Stay?” You bite the inside of your cheek. “Please?”

“Of course, dorogoy,” Natasha smiles at you as she slides into bed next to you.

“Thank you,” you mutter, laying your head on her chest as her arms wrap around you tightly. She presses a gentle kiss to your head.

You know you’ll freak in the morning when you have to think about the final again. But Natasha was here now, and Bruce and Tony would be there in the morning. It would be okay. One failed exam, one failed class-- hell, even every class failed-- was no indication of your worth. And Nat would be there to remind you if you ever forgot. 

[shreddedleopard]

I am so excited for all the things you have coming but this one in particular

“Stains “ has me soooo interested

Well hey there @spacevoltrongirl!

Oh thank youuu! OMG don't do this to me ha! I've been having the urge to dive into this so much recently, but I gotta get ahead with other bits first. I'm trying to get myself back into some sort of rhythm with my writing again.

HOWEVER.

It is definitely getting written, and since I'm as keen on doing something for this as you are for hearing more, let me share some background for this (sort of?) AU under the cut - beware, it's long lol.

Highschool Caste setting, keeping things as close to Isayama's world as possible.

Historia and the gang are 18, last year of high school. Levi is 30 and of course the school janitor.

Hange and Erwin are there as head of science and head of history, but the rest of the crew are also around - disgruntled Moblit: science deputy, Nanaba and Mike teach sport, Onyankopon teaches math and has a huge crush on Hange (who is oblivious, much to Levi's annoyance - "can you two stop flirting in intellectual - I just cleaned and Erwin is gonna spew his lunch.”)

Queen Bee Historia has abandonment and self worth issues which drive her to comply with this perfect, 'It Girl' image. In reality, she's lonely as hell and just wants to have the courage to be herself and have real friends that value her for who she really wants to be. But she can't see that EVER happening, so her walls stay firmly up, her crown securely on and her mascara unsmudged.

Levi has a dark past that no-one except Hange and Erwin seem to know very much about, although there are rumours that he was once linked with notorious Ackerman mob boss Kenny The Ripper. Levi doesn't want to talk about it, he just wants to mop floors and empty trash cans. Don't ask him about it.

Eren is the outcast kid who doesn't fit in. An accident involving his parents has left him with pretty bad anger issues - Jean is normally on the receiving end, due to some jealousy over a girl Eren has a secret crush on, although he tends to get in trouble with the faculty sometimes too.

Gothkasa is just drop dead gorgeous but not interested unless you have green eyes, anger issues and your name is Jaeger, much to Jock Jean's heartbreak. Like Eren, she also lost her parents as a child in mysterious circumstances that no-one really talks about. Mikasa is distantly related to Levi. She doesn't know; Levi does. He tries to keep a subtle eye on her.

Armin, as ever, is a love. He's into anime and solving equations with Onyankopon on his lunch break. Oh, and he's best friends with beautiful Gothkasa. They're doing their best to take Eren under their wing.

Levi sees a lot of his younger self in Eren sometimes. Before he knows it, he's stepping in during a fight between Eren and Jean, which leads to him becoming some sort of big brother type figure that troubled misfit Eren latches on to. He ends up hanging out at Levi's store shed frequently during lunch, venting while Levi lets him steal his cigarettes and turns a blind eye.

Oh yeah, Levi's smoker. A habit that he picked up during his mysterious youth, although he fucking hates it. He's doing his best to quit - he sticks a nicotine patch on under his overalls every morning. It often ends up in the wastebasket of his shed, especially when Eren shows up.

Before long, others are approaching Levi for advice, much to Levi's horror. He literally just wants to mop floors and empty trash cans - did he mention this? But he doesn't have the heart to turn the kids away. "Gonna get a new sign for the shed - Janitor and Agony Uncle. Then you brats can pay me." He never does much talking of course. Just asks them blunt questions and spouts bullshit lines like "choose the path with least regret," or "you have to make that choice for yourself," or "fuck off now I gotta go clean some toilets."

Historia has her own group of disciples, the most clingy of which are Reiner and Ymir. They mean well - but Historia is well aware of the fact that they cling to her image, and not the real her. Stains begins at the point where Historia decides to take a chance and show a little of the real her to Ymir, who reacts in a way she wasn't expecting, but then suddenly she's moved away with little explanation, and Historia is left feeling rejected and even more determined to keep her guard up.

Historia is intrigued by Eren and his relationship with Levi, as well as Levi's easy-going rapport with all of the other students too. She finds herself becoming jealous of everyone's ability to go and offload to the cranky janitor, but she knows doing the same would ruin her pristine image. So instead, she watches from afar. A lot.

Levi notices her watching; the stuck up Queen who's never once approached him like the others. And he sees through her far more than she realises. Like Eren, she reminds him of someone.

Historia is fast approaching a breaking point in her life. Sick of being the golden girl, she risks her image in pursuit of something she knows a good girl would never do. But once the damage is done, and lines are crossed, there's no going back.

Levi knows all too well that some stains don't come out in the wash.

[whereisstevethestove]

For the prompts: Could I *looks around nervously* get some Analogical with #10?

Everyone’s asking for the ships with virgil cause they all know what i can fucking write well XD

Prompt:  #10: “Excuse me. Excuse me! Yes, you. You’re sitting in my seat.”  With Logan and Virgil from the 200 follower special (X)

Logan appreciates order.  As a teacher at a high school, it’s something that’s needed to keep the students in line as he lectures through PowerPoints and creates class assignments like the day when he and Roman built a fully functioning mining stream for their combined classes of geology and history.

So when he walks into the staff break room to see that Roman is sullenly sitting next to a new teacher, he is confused.

“Logan!”  Roman instantly perks up as Logan wanders over, wary of the new teacher, who is currently ignoring him as he looks down at his phone.

“Roman, what the hell is going on?”

“This dude!  Won’t give me his name!”  Roman waves his hands at the newest addition, who doesn’t look up, even when Roman snaps a finger in front of his face.

Logan spares another glance before sighing and pulling off his glasses.  “Excuse me Mx.?”

The teacher looked up finally and Logan froze because, holy hell...

They were incredibly attractive.

Logan’s sentence died in his throat as the teacher stared at him, seemingly waiting for Logan to continue what he was about to say.  

“umm.. I’m Logan.  I teach AP World History and AP US History.”  Logan extends a hand and the teacher shakes it.

“Mx. Tempesta.  I’m going to teach math I think.  That or physics, they haven’t told me yet.”  

“Very formal.”  Roman grumbles as he stands.  “I’m Roman, I teach Geology. Sorry I called you a dude.”  He shot a look at Logan that meant we’ll talk later and then he’s gone, singing some obscure showtune as Logan takes the seat next to Mx. Tempesta.

They’ve certainly become less tense in the short amount of time that Roman’s been gone and they turn to Logan with a cocky half smile.

“Now that Princey’s gone, My name’s Virgil.”

Logan blinks a couple times, and he nods as his heart rate speeds up.  “That’s a very nice name.”

“Thanks.  So, do you have any tips for here?  Which teachers to avoid, who do I need to talk to, what student is most likely to sneak a full sized pizza into class?”

“Make friends with Patton- he’s the secretary and it’s honestly a lifesaver if you have him on your side.  We all avoid Janus... he’s the librarian but he’s chill.  If you’re going to be in the science hall I should probably warn you about Roman’s brother..”  Logan trails off as the door to the lounge swings open and Remus walks in, his face covered in black soot as he walks and throws a moonpie into the microwave.

“Hey fuckers!”

“Remus.”  Logan says evenly as the microwave beeps and the chaotic teacher pulls it out.

“who’s the new guy?”

“Not a guy.”  Virgil calls back as they tilt their chin at Remus as a slight challenge.  Remus laughs and points.

“Had me in the first half, m’theydy.  See you two around!”  with that, he pops open the moonpie and leaves, undoubtedly to go torture Roman during his lunch break.

“He’s...”  Virgil shakes their head.  “Eccentric.”

Logan can’t help but agree.

...

Virgil ends up teaching physics.  Logan walks by their class one day to see that Virgil’s standing on the desk in the front of the room while the students around them help secure a bowling ball to some sort of pendulum thing, all of them chattering excitedly.

Another time when Logan’s grading over three hundred DBQ’s, Virgil comes in to keep him company, laying on the floor and messing with a rubix cube as Logan reads out the stupidest lines that students write in panic.

It’s quiet moments like these when he realizes that he maybe, kinda sort of fell in love with Virgil Tempesta.

It’s during a staff meeting that really seals the whole thing together though.  Logan was sitting next to Roman when a perkyly annoying English teacher walked up to him.

“Excuse me. Excuse me! Yes, you. You’re sitting in my seat.”   She smiled, all pointed teeth and Logan shot a slightly confused glance at Roman, who shrugged.

“I’m confused?”

“What is there to be confused about?  I always sit next to Roman.”

“What are you, five?”  Virgil asks as they slide into the seat next to Logan, glaring up at the teacher.  “I’d think that we were all full grown adults, but now I’m not so sure.”

The teacher huffs and crosses her arms.  “What do you have to do with this Mr. Tempesta.”

“It’s Mx. to you.  And Logan’s just sitting here, but I guess we can move if you really want to sit next to the dude who’s dating the librarian.”

Roman gasps.  “Am not!”

Virgil tosses a wicked grin over Logan.  “I saw what I saw.”

By now, the poor teacher is so lost that instead of trying to continue the argument, she slinks off. Logan glances at Roman.

“So, you and Janus?”

Roman’s cherry red blush is enough confirmation for him.

...

About a month later the school is closed for a week due to a... ahem.. science experiment that showed that apparently there was a high amount of meth in a certain band teacher’s room.

It’s not enough time to set up an online learning alternative and so everyone is grateful for the long needed break as the school is searched and decontaminated.  

Logan finds himself at Roman’s apartment with Patton and Janus, all of them playing video games while gossiping about their coworkers.

“Where’s Remus?”  Patton ends up asking at one point, it’s odd not to see both of the brothers together after work ends, even though both claim to hate the other sibling.

“He made bottle rockets with Virgil, they’ll be around in about an hour.”  Roman checks his phone before going back to the game.

When Virgil and Remus come stomping in a few hours later, covered in dirt, Logan tries not to stare and fails.

Virgil comes and flops next to him on the couch once they’ve changed, looking absolutely amazing in one of Roman’s dresses that they borrowed while their dirt covered clothing was getting washed.

“Heyo.”  Virgil mutters as Logan looks away, blushing.

“Hi.”

“wanna go out on a date tomorrow?”

Logan nearly dies at how casual the question is. “what?”

Virgil looks at him and wrinkles their brow.  “Did I read our friendship wrong, I’m sorry.”

“No, a date sounds great.”

Logan ignores the knowing look that Roman shoots from the other side of the room.

Bastard probably gave Virgil the dress on purpose to fluster him.  

...

“Y’know, my legal records still say that I’m female.  We could get married and bypass all the homophobic laws that won’t let an agender person marry a guy.”  Virgil looks up from the quiz that they’re grading and Logan sighs.

“You haven’t had them changed?”

“I can barely pay off my college debt.  And besides, I got top surgery ages ago and so it doesn’t really matter.”

Logan finishes the quiz that he was grading and flips to the next one.  “I don’t see why not then.  But I would like to propose to you properly.”

Virgil grins.  “After dating you for almost two years, I guess I can see why.”

“Hmm.”  Logan agrees and when he looks up again, Virgil is standing, one hand out for Logan to take.

“Dance with me?”

“This is an empty classroom and there’s no music..”  Logan trails off as Virgil fumbles with some earphones.

“Better?”

“Of course.”

And together they dance in an empty classroom, the promise of the future hovering between them.

[loverboybarnes]

for the two of you - ch. 1

GradSchool!Bucky x GradSchool!Reader

Summary: You are in your last semester of grad school, so close to finishing with your college career forever. One requirements is to take a writing class that requires interpersonal communication with your peers, and you as a Computer Science major and a single mother of a 3 year old, are not familiar with personal relationships. What happens when you’re assigned to get to know James Bucky Barnes? How will he affect you, if he does at all?

Word Count: 1,626

Warnings: none really, but maybe young mom? i’m sorry, new to this so not entirely sure please help! 

a/n: Hi! I’m new to this whole fanfiction writing and publishing but I just have so many ideas and want to try and execute them as best I could. This is my first fanfic so please don’t be so mean :( I will take constructive criticism though! I want to get better because there’s so many fic writers that I look up to! Anyways I hope you enjoy this beginning chapter :)

One semester. One semester left, you thought to yourself as you got your stuff ready for your last semester of grad school. “Come on, come on where is it?!” you whisper-yell to yourself as you ruffle through your bag looking for your apartment keys. “They’re right here” you hear your roommate and best friend, Wanda say from behind you. You turn around and sure enough you see Wanda wiggling your keys in her fingers. You smile lightly as you hurried to her and grabbed the keys “Thank you Wanda, you’re truly a lifesaver” you warmly say, turning around heading for the door, “I wish I could stay for breakfast bu-” “Yeah yeah first day of last semester of college” she says excitedly giving you a big smile. You smile back, “Dinner tonight at the restaurant down the street?” “You got it. We’ll be there, go on now get your study on” she smiles and with that you’re out the door. 

The ride to your first class of the day doesn’t take too long, you’ve mastered the subway routes and times after being in the city for the past 2 years. Luckily, your last semester isn’t a full schedule as you’ve taken multiple classes over the summer to ensure that you graduated on time. Your schedule this semester includes 3 classes in total; Human Communication in Writing 502 on Wednesdays, Cyber-Security 500 every Mondays and Wednesdays and Human Computer Interaction 415 on Mondays and Wednesday as well, the first class of your day.

Your first class goes by pretty fast, knowing all you do on first days is go over the syllabus and expectations of the class. You have a few hours before your next class but you decide not to go home just yet, as much as you want to go home, you know if you did, you would never get anything done. With a groan, you head to the nearest cafe as you cover your body with your big coat. January in New York City is the coldest time of the year and after 2 years you are yet to get accustomed to the cold weather, which you’re not typically used to and have clearly not bought enough warm clothes to give you the warmth you so desperately needed as you sped-walked down to the cafe. You arrive at the cafe and see it’s not really packed, which you’re thankful for. As you take a seat at an empty table, you grab your laptop from your bag and set it down in front of you, opening it to your class syllabus. You hoped you would be able to identify all of the classwork ahead of time and plan time for your assignments so you don’t fall behind as you already presume is going to happen. 

After going through the syllabus you bring your thoughts back to the real world and not the one you just planned around with your assignments, and notice that it’s late and you have exactly 17 minutes to get to your last class of the day. “Shit!” you mutter as you get up gathering your things and rushing out the cafe door. Not paying attention to the people around you, you bump into a big tall figure. “Oh I’m so sorry, I’m really sor-I-” you stumble on your words as you look up and see beautiful blue eyes look at your frazzled state. “It’s okay, it’s okay don’t worry about it” he smiles at you and you can’t help but feel completely vulnerable under his gaze. Why do you feel like that? You gasp quietly at the realization that he’s the first guy you’ve interacted with in a year, apart from the occasional class partners from school. “Do you need help with this?” he asks, bringing  you out of your thoughts, looking down at your messy pile of papers. “Oh no no, but thank you. I’m actually in a hurry and have to go but really, I’m sorry for bumping into you” you say and smile apologetically at him. He smiles, shaking his head, muttering something about it being no problem but you can’t make sound of it as you’re already back on your feet to rush to your class, which you’re for sure going to be late to on your first day. Great. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Your day comes to an end pretty fast after your being tardy to your class. Again, it was just going over your syllabus for the semester. You walk out of your class and look at the time on your watch and realize it’s close to time for dinner and you’re getting pretty hungry, which is very evident when you hear you stomach growl which is expected as you only ate the one croissant and hot coffee from the cafe earlier in the day. You pulled out your phone, calling Wanda as you headed towards the nearest subway station. She picked up almost instantly and greeted you with a cheerful hello. “Hey Wands, it's me, how's it going?” you asked, your heart warming up at the picture that popped in your head. “Going amazingly, having so much fun! Is everything okay?” she asked. “Yeah yeah, everythings good, I just finished class and was hoping it was okay if we grabbed an early dinner? I’m pretty hungry and wanna see you guys” you say softly. “Yeah yeah, we were actually getting pretty hungry too. Wanna meet at the restaurant?” she asked. It wasn’t long before you hung up after agreeing to meet at the restaurant, which made your stomach grumble once again at the thought of food in your system.

The ride to the restaurant seemed like it was never going to end, when in reality, you realize it only took 23 minutes to get to your destination. As you enter the restaurant, eyes wandering around looking for Wanda, you automatically smile as you hear your daughter laughing alongside Wanda. Your heart warms at the sight of her cute little smile, as you reach over and cover her tiny body with yours in a tight hug, “what is Auntie Wanda saying that is making you laugh so much huh silly girl?” you ask, laughing with her too. She instantly turns around and gives you the biggest hug, “Momma!!” she screeches into your ears, making you pull away from the hug, still having the biggest smile on your face. “Hi pretty girl, I missed you a lot today. Did you have fun with Wanda?” you asked softly pulling her chin. She smiles and nods, “We had the best day today! She let me color and we ate ice cream!” she says but immediately covers her mouth, as if she wasn’t supposed to say anything. You and your daughter look over at Wanda who has her jaw on the floor, making direct eye contact with her. “Rosemary! I cannot believe you outed me like that!” Wanda exclaims, “I’m sorry auntie it was an accident!!” Rosie yelled running over to give Wanda a hug. “It’s okay, I forgive you” she replies, giving Rosie a kiss on the head, “but lets see, will your momma forgive us?” she asks, looking at you with pleading eyes and you can’t help but laugh at the sight of your best friend and daughter. “Yes I forgive you” you laugh, waving them off as you sit down in a chair next to Rosie. “Only because I’m starving and I had a long day without you” you say as you pick up the crayon that was on Rosie’s placemat which is also a coloring page. “Me too, momma” Rosie says. “So how was your day?” Wanda questions from across the table. You look up, “it was okay. The same old same old, just going over the syllabus and getting my assignments in order for the semester, I still have one more class to go to on Wednesday.” Wanda smiles, and you know its genuine. Ever since you got to New York for grad school 2 years ago, Wanda has been the biggest supporter of you, big enough to revolve her school schedule around yours as well doing school days on days you don’t and vice versa so you guys could take turns of watching Rosie everyday without having to pay the crazy university daycare that they charge. You were extremely and beyond grateful to have Wanda, who took you in when you didn’t know you needed it. She knew that you were always there for her too, for anything and everything. Including helping her study for a mandatory computer science class she had to take, even though she hated anything that had to do with math. Luckily for her, computer science was the one thing you were best at and you were more than willing to help her pass the class, whatever it took. Whatever the case, you were there for Wanda and Wanda was there for you and it was an amazing set-up, even when things didn’t always pan out the way you expected. “Thank you Wanda, seriously” you grab her hand “I don’t know how I could have made it to my last semester of grad school without you” you smile softly. She squeezes your hand tightly, “You have no reason to thank me, you and Rosie are the best people I’ve ever met” she smiles widely. “You too” you say before letting go of her hand and grabbing the menu in front of you. “Okay let's eat, what are you gonna eat baby?” you ask Rosemary, who’s having the time of her life coloring in the big fish printed on the paper in front of her. After a long day, coming home to Rosie and having Wanda as a best friend makes you incredibly content.  

[jumpship90]

wip whenever

cheers for the tag @damejudyhench. This (quite long) excerpt is kind of cheating because it’s actually being removed from my next chapter (and just referred to briefly by Jaq instead) but here is something from Felix’s POV as he attempts to watch a tossball match and is instead distracted by having to convince Jaq to go for it with Phineas.

I think most people have been tagged but just in case, tagging in @antoncrane @lamiahypnosia and @saltunafish

“I call shotgun on the shower!” Felix yelled, bounding up the stairs of the Unreliable two at a time.

The boss made an irritable noise but they didn’t argue and he heard the familiar sound of the captain’s chair creaking as they settled into it. They were probably going to contact the Doc anyway, he thought. They usually did whenever they returned from a mission.

They’d been on Monarch almost a week, beating back the bandits who were attacking the supply routes and delaying the rations making it out from Stellar Bay to rest of the settlements. It had been heavy going, but with the support of the Iconoclasts they had eventually cleared the route. Felix had hoped they’d have been due some sort of reward on return to the city but instead Jaq had spent several hours in meetings with Mr Nandi and Zora, and rather than hang around listening to them talk politics he had drifted over to Left Field to catch up on the tossball league. There were games on tonight he didn’t want to miss.

He stripped off rapidly and dove under the showerhead before the water had finished warming up. He shivered and puffed out his cheeks, working to scrub the marauder blood from his skin. The pressure wasn’t as good as he’d gotten used to on the Hope but it would suffice in washing out the stains and the smell of sulphur from his hair.

By the time the steam had started to rise in the bathroom and obscure the mirror, he was done and out, wrapping himself in a thread-bare towel before darting down the corridor with soggy feet. SAM would get to the puddles before Jaq was done chatting, he could still hear their voice echoing up from the cockpit, and very faintly in the background, the familiar laugh of Doc Welles.

He was glad to be back aboard the Unreliable but Felix did miss the Hope, more than he’d expected. At first he’d been disappointed when Jaq had told him he was staying behind and missing out on the adventures they were having but he’d discovered it was actually pretty good fun getting to rebuild the abandoned facility and help out with experiments. That and it was nice hanging with the younger lab techs and watching tossball with them.

Oh, shit! If he was quick he might catch the end of the Hammers game before Rangers v Backers kicked off.

Felix bounded down the hallway and into the mess, snagging a case of zero-gees from the fridge and a bag of spacer-chips. It sounded like Jaq was still finishing up their conversation so he flicked on the aetherwave and flopped down on the sofa.

It was nearing the end of the first quarter when Jaq finally emerged from their room. They dropped down beside him and Felix passed them a bottle of zero-gee that had grown lukewarm in the time it had taken them to freshen up.

“Everything ok with the Doc?”

He sure hoped so. The old man was surprisingly fun to be around, always ushering Felix over when he had a cool new chemical to show him or something really weird happened with an experiment. And Phineas never made him feel stupid, even when he had to ask for the super long science words to be explained. The Doc would get all excited and break it down for him so he could understand and Felix was starting to get a grasp on some of the processes that went on in the lab.

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Jaq replied taking a long swig on their drink. “One of the door mechanisms had jammed in the crew quarters and apparently the team of four bio-chemists he sent to fix it couldn’t figure out the wiring.”

Yeah, Felix could imagine that all too well. In his time aboard the Hope he’d discovered half those lab-coated so-called geniuses couldn’t figure out how to build a bunk or salvage the workable bits from an old air-scrubber.

Jaq snorted and took another swig. “Anyway, Phin wanted me to talk him through the electrics whilst he had the panel open. He’s fixed it now.”

“That’s good. He’ll be disappointed he missed the Hammer’s game though.”

Jaq gave him a confused look.

“Phin watches tossball? I thought he hated it,” they said, as a crunching tackle sent a chorus of cheers up from the crowd watching in the stands and Felix punched the air.

He reached for the chips and stuffed down a handful before nodding. “I’ve been teaching him the rules. He seemed real surprised how much maths is involved. I never really thought of it like that, but anyway, he’s kinda starting to get the plays. I think.”

“Huh. And he supports the Hammers?”

Felix frowned. “Well, yeah, obviously. I said he had to pick a team and he asked who your team was and I said you backed the Hammers but that was a real bad choice because their twenty-eighth back has been injured all season and they don’t have a good defensive play and – oh come on, ref!”

The replay showed the towering Rizzo’s fifth back hurling the Backers forward off the ball.

“Anyway. I did warn him but I guess it makes sense he’d pick them, to avoid rows and stuff. I mean, I could never date anyone who didn’t support the Rangers. No offense, boss.”

There was a sudden spluttering noise from beside him and when Felix finally dragged his eyes away from the aetherwave Jaq was wiping frothy suds from their mouth with a damp sleeve. They gave another cough before taking a tentative sip.

“We’re not . . . dating,” they said eventually and Felix didn’t miss the red glow to the back of their neck.

“Oh, really?” That didn’t make any sense. “But you talk over the secure transmission all the time and he’s always real happy afterward, like bobbing around the lab and humming and stuff.” Felix scratched his head and turned back to the game in time to see a two man tackle go in on a forward who’d begun a promising darting run at goal. He winced as the player hit the deck with a thud picked up clearly by the mics.

“Really?”

Jaq didn’t seem to be paying attention to the game and Felix really wanted to concentrate on it but they were being kind of weird so he nodded. “Yeah, and he talks about you all the time. It’s always, ‘Jaq did this’ and ‘Jaq said that’ and ‘Jaq’s a big hero.’”

It was kind of fun actually. Phineas always wanted to hear all the cool adventures the crew had been on and he never seemed to get tired of Felix talking about what life used to be like aboard the Unreliable. He’d always listen intently and chuckle at things or ask questions about the boss and the others. Well, mostly the boss, now he really thought about it.

“You really aren’t . . . like . . . a thing? But didn’t he stay in your bed that time?” he asked with a grimace. He liked the two of them and it was nice to think they might be happy together but he really, really didn’t want to think about them smashing asteroids. Gross.

Jaq’s neck was about as red as a landing beacon at this point and Felix decided it was best not to look in their direction.

“I told you before, the camp bed is uncomfortable,” they muttered.

Felix shrugged and went in for another handful of chips. Jaq really didn’t seem interested in the food and they’d finished their beer but were still picking at the label on the empty bottle, swilling the last of the dregs.

“So, you think . . ?

The Rangers’ forward pack were beating their way through the Wednesday zone now, repelling backs left right and centre. He fidgeted in his seat, gripping the edge of the sofa as they battered through the last defensive line on the way to the goal . . .

“You think he might be interested in me?”

Felix whooped, diving out of his seat and spraying crumbs across the floor. “What a shot!”

He punched the air, grinning with elation before dropping back onto the sofa. Jaq didn’t seem very excited about the goal.

“Sure, boss. Trust me, I’ve watched loads of serials, I know what a proper romance looks like.”

Felix drained the last of his zero-gee whilst the teams set up for the restart. If Rangers kept this up then he would be collecting his winnings from Left Field tomorrow morning before they got back to work. He was contemplating whether he might be able to afford a new souvenir jersey when a sudden thought occurred to him.

“Wait, hang on,” he said, turning to Jaq who was staring into space. “If you and the Doc weren’t busy raising profits that night then Ellie owes me 20 bits!”

[somedayonbroadway]

I think all the Newsie's AU's could be really entertaining but I would most like to know about the Leverage one and the Lilo & Stitch one.

Okay, so I had two people in a row ask for Lilo and Stitch while also requesting another outline, so I’ll be doing Lilo and Stitch very soon.

But… I LOVE this one.

So, for those of you who haven’t seen Leverage, you can watch it on Amazon Prime Video. It’s amazing and I adore it. My favorite character is Hardison. He’s everything. Nothing he says ever gets old. Hardison and Parker are literally so freaking cute that I just can’t. And I think I’ve already talked about how Spot Conlon is very similar to Eliot Spencer, at least the way I write him. So this’ll be fun.

So anyways…

Leverage AU

Characters

Jack Kelly — Nate Ford

Katherine Plumber — Sophie Devereau

Spot Conlon — Eliot Spencer

Racetrack Higgins — Parker

Albert DaSilva — Alec Hardison

Jack Kelly: The Mastermind

Jack is an alcoholic

He’s only twenty five when this story starts.

He used to work for an insurance company but after that same company let his baby brother die, refusing to pay for his treatment, Jack quit and has been a “functioning alcoholic” ever since.

Jack has anger issues that he refuses to acknowledge

Jack used to pride himself on being emotionally broken, but still never crossing over to the “dark side” of the law.

He’s the son of a numbers runner who was emotionally abusive

Was originally trying to become a catholic priest as he was strong in his faith but has since strayed a bit after losing Charlie, the only person in the world he truly loved

After meeting his team, Jack grows very protective of them, viewing them as a sort of family that he’d never really had, all except for Charlie.

Jack first meets the team when a man comes to him, begging him to keep an eye on a group of thieves as they execute a job he’s hired them for. After they are all double crossed by this man, narrowly escaping death, they come together to set things right and the team begs Jack to continue leading them as Jack shows them how good it feels to do the right thing, even if the right thing requires bending or breaking the rules.

Jack grew up extremely poor but is an excellent artist and chess player.

Jack likes to cook.

Jack loves to learn new things when he can’t drink to continue distracting himself.

Jack is the one to typically choose the clients his new team takes on.

Jack took Charlie in the second he turned eighteen, unable to trust his father who was a no good drunk.

Jack hates that he’s becoming just like his dad but refuses to stop.

Jack is more protective of Race than anyone else, as Race’s optimism and energy remind him of Charlie.

Jack serves as a mentor of sorts to Albert.

He is kept in check by Spot.

Jack is very quick witted, moving from one plan to the next as things change.

Jack gets his own father killed after a mission gone wrong.

Jack gets arrested protecting his team who he knows will go away for much longer than him for all the crimes they’ve committed.

Jack is the one who introduces the group to Katherine, the best grifter he’s ever seen, with whom he ends up falling for.

Katherine Plumber: The Grifter

Katherine is a struggling actress who can’t perform to save her life, though is the best grifter in the business.

Katherine is very careful of her identity, meaning that absolutely no one knows her real name.

Katherine speaks nearly eleven languages.

Katherine has difficulty maintaining real relationships as it’s hard to decipher her acts from reality.

Before becoming a member of Leverage she focuses heavily on art theft

After meeting the team, she bonds with Race over art

Katherine manages to fake her death twice in two years and attend her own funeral at both

As Katherine is the only woman on the team, she often feels as though she doesn’t belong, but all of her boys adore her and protect her at all costs.

Katherine has an abundance of connections around the world, though none of them know her true identity.

Prides herself on long cons that she’d pulled in the past all by herself.

Katherine never reveals how she grew up to her friend as she is very good at letting things go and never getting attached but all of that changes when Jack reaches out to her.

Katherine is wanted in five countries.

Successfully stole the Stanley Cup and replaced it with a replica, though she does not care for Hockey and did all of it out of spite because someone told her she couldn’t.

Katherine makes a game of keeping her real name from Jack as she insists he has to earn the right to know it.

Katherine falls for Jack nearly as fast as he falls for her.

Though Jack and Katherine do sleep together a few times, they agree to keep it a secret for the good of the team.

Though Katherine and Jack aren’t much older than the rest of the team, they take on a sort of parental role for Race and Albert who both grew up orphans

Katherine eventually opens up her own acting company where she finds she is an excellent coach, though she was never a performer herself because she lacked a certain truth element when she would try to perform on stage or on screen.

Katherine is very close with the whole team, but is able to relax while around Spot, as he’s more an equal to her than Race and Albert, and Jack and her have a lot of tension sometimes.

She shares the most with Spot on accident as Spot is easy to talk to.

Runs away at some point to “find herself” after an old team of hers tries to kill her and the rest of her current team and comes back just in time for Jack to be arrested, saving all of them.

Spot Conlon: The Hitter

Spot Conlon was in and out of the mob all growing up. (Eliot was black ops, but I want Spot to be younger, this is different).

He began training when he was very young and is a very skilled “retrieval specialist”

Spot has had to kill before and is ashamed of his past. When asked about it, he calmly asks his team not to get curious because he would tell them what he did 

Though the whole team consists of criminals, Spot believes them, especially Race and Albert, to be innocent and naive and he constantly looks out for them as best he can, acting as a sort of big brother for them until he catches feelings for Race (yeah sorry guys that’s gonna be different too)

Spot is very calm and never shows any kind of panic.

Spot is a trained chef

He grows up only fighting, learning to not get attached

The leverage team is his gateway to figuring out that he is capable of love

His role on the team is protection. He is always around to keep his team out of trouble when something goes wrong or even when things go right and he has to disarm people on purpose.

Spot is wicked smart and is able to discern things from noises, smells, walking patterns etc. always stating “It’s a very distinctive __”

Knows various types of martial arts and uses them regularly

Though not technically a grifter, Spot has an easy time playing different roles and can blend in easily with a crowd.

Hostage negotiator

Survivalist

He’s extremely protective of his team and is willing to go great lengths to make sure they’re safe and secure

Has a budding relationship with Albert who constantly gets himself into trouble that Spot has to get him out of.  

Was known as Sean before Race showed up and gave him a non threatening nickname based on his freckles

Can play the guitar

Manages to get shot at constantly, taking a few bullets but refusing to walk with crutches.

He loves teaching Katherine how to defend herself

Loves teaching Race knew things as well

Speaks six languages

Spot is not familiar with a lot of technology, causing him to often need Albert’s help with that kind of thing

Has rescued Race and Albert from being kidnapped or hurt the most

As times goes on, finds himself more and more in love with his team and really does love to protect them

Sees Albert as a little brother, even if he won’t admit it.

Racetrack Higgins: The Thief

Has been a thief since he was very young, maybe seven, but only gives his team made up stories about how it all started

Has a hard time coping with grief or pain, which is why he likes to make up stories about his past.

Abusive father killed Race’s mother when he was very young

Race grew up in foster care until he ran away at twelve, eventually getting raised on the street by an elite thief who spotted his talents and offered to train him, making him the best thief in the world

Is socially awkward on account of being a loner for most of his life and rarely ever opens up about his childhood

Despite this, Race is very loud and curious, almost childlike with his team, thus why Katherine and Jack become sort of parental figures toward him.

Race did have an older brother who got hit by a car when he was very young, after going out to get food for him. Race blames himself to this day.

Desperate for some kind of real family, besides the thief who trained him, Race meets an older foster brother who teaches him how to boost cars, along with “teaching him other things”. Though his is abused physically and sexually by this boy, Race doesn’t know any better and hangs on his every word, believing that the older boy wanted to help him.

Race is arrested when he’s fourteen, taking the fall for the boy who taught him how to boost cars

Race was a getaway driver at thirteen, and a good one at that.

He is constantly reminded of how he’s not normal, taking a toll on his mental stability as he’s often referred to as insane or inhuman

Race is fairly naive, but does live up to his title as the best thief in the world

Enjoys stealing diamonds more than anything else.

Quickly becomes best friends with Albert and is curious on how to get Spot to open up.

Never went to high school but is still amazingly smart as it takes a lot of math and science and so forth to be a thief.

Enjoys using tasers as a weapon of choice.

Has a bit of a sadistic mind as he enjoys watching Spot beat up on some of their enemies, especially the ones who’d tried to come at him, sometimes even visualizing that they’re the boy who left him behind after using him constantly all those years ago

Eventually does have to confront Drake again, but has his whole team to protect him.

Really loves cash

Is shocked the first time Spot kisses him because, he has been abused before, but kisses Spot again, telling him how different it feels

That’s the first time Race truly opens up about his past and Spot figures out that someone had used him

Has a fear of horses

Is not anywhere near afraid of heights

Has trust issues (obviously) despite the insistence that Albert and Spot (and of course Jack and Katherine but most Al and Spot) would never let anything happen to him

Actually trusts Jack the most as he came from the good side of the law

Does not like psychics

Katherine coaches Race in his social skills, helping him embrace his sexuality and slightly rely on those around him for connection and comfort

Race’s real name is Antonio Higgins, but he’s known across the world as only ‘Racer’

Albert DaSilva: The Hacker

Much like Race, Albert grew up in foster care, though through most of his childhood, he lived with a woman he refers to as “Nana”. Not his actual grandmother, but a foster mother who he adored and actually took care of him.

Often refers to himself as a geek and prides himself in being one as it is the “age of the geek, baby”

Is relied on heavily by the team as he makes a lot of their equipment (eg: coms, modified cell phones, button cams)

Provides CIA level aliases for his team.

Owns the teams vehicle, “Lucille” and is pissed when they manage to destroy not one model, but two

Has an unhealthy obsession with orange soda

Is physically very fit, but is not good in combat situations

Being an introvert for most of his life, Albert took to technology and learned just about everything one can about them

Albert is straight in this one (sorry for my Ralbert fans) but, as Race’s best friend, is constantly trying to subtly get Race to admit he has feelings for Spot

Though he and Spot didn’t get along too well at first, they eventually see themselves as brothers and look out for each other

Claustrophobic

Gets buried alive during a job gone wrong and is showed just how much he’s loved when his team manages to rescue him, believing him to be dead at first

Manages to keep the team very well paid and secured so the government can’t find them

Hacked into the pentagon when he was only twelve

When he was younger, his nana forced him off the computer for one hour out of every day to “give his eyes a rest from the screen” and Albert learns how to play the violin

Mostly used his skills for fun when he was younger, just wanting to prove he could do something

Skipped his senior prom to hack into medical records and get his nana on a high priority list

Has always looked out for the people he cared about

The only one Albert didn’t trust was Spot, as Spot intimidates him until Spot started showing interest in what he did, never commenting on it, but always looking very impressed

Oversells himself while grifting and often relies on Katherine to help guide him

Cares about humanity and the big picture, much like Jack. This is where their bond comes from as Katherine, Race and Spot have spent most of their lives looking out for themselves

Has a soft spot for little kids

Enjoys messing with Spot and making bets with him, even sparking in them having their own handshake which consists of them subtly high diving twice at waist level and then fist bumping. It’s often how they seal a bet or agree on a plan

What do you guys think? Any scenes you wanna see? Any other characters you wanna hear about? Let me know!

For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!

[elexica]

Wasted

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671706

Summary: Kaiba gets drunk at Mokuba's fraternity initiation party and does the cute orientation leader's calculus homework. He's bad at flirting, but he's good at math.

Rating: Teen for Drinking

Pairing: Kaiba/Joey; Puppyshipping/Violetshipping Word Count:1568

(exactly what the summary says; read under the cut!)

“You are the glass half empty, sippin my ocean dry , emotionally spin me so that our planets cannot align, but I guess I can stand you one more night. . . I like us better when we’re wasted.”

– “Wasted,” by Tiesto.

“An’ over here is the cafeteria!  It’s all you can eat while ya live in the dorms!”  Joey smiled brightly as he waved an arm towards the cafeteria dorm.  “But if yer not in the dorms, you gotta pay.” He shook his head in exaggerated sadness.  “Unless you can get some Frosh to swipe ya in!”

Seto nodded serenely.  They continued to walk around campus, heading back to the student union.  Joey was the best orientation leader on campus—known for making everyone feel welcome and comfortable.  This was why they were always giving him the most difficult transfer students, he was sure.  He was also the only transfer student who worked for the orientation office as part of his financial aid work-study plan.

“So uh… yer clearly a little older than the freshies here… are you a transfer student or something?”  Joey rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  “Not that I’m judging or anythin’! I’m a transfer student too! Saves a lotta money and you get the same degree anyway!”

Seto did not look at Joey, as if he was wholly preoccupied by observing the various bicyclists streaming past them.

“It was time for my brother to start as a freshman, and I determined that I might as well secure a diploma simultaneously.”

Joey laughed, not because Seto had said anything funny, but because he was trying to lighten the mood.  His partner didn’t offer anything else, and it was painfully awkward.  Joey looked down at the information the admissions office had given him.

“So ehhh, looks like you’re a computer science student.” Joey offered.

“That’s correct.” Seto said.

“Which means…  you any good at calculus?”

“I am excellent.”  Seto rolled his eyes.

“So uh, if you got the time… you think you could help me?  It’s a pre-req for a biology class I gotta take for my Child Development minor and…”

“A minor in Child Development? Are you studying to be a teacher?”  Seto’s voice was harsh with derision.

“Close—social worker!” Joey beamed a little extra.

Seto rolled his eyes, his ice finally freezing any further pleasantries.

. . .

Seto Kaiba hated Fireball whiskey.  He was a man of taste, and had no problem sipping quality whiskey with the best of them.  But four shots of fireball in at his brother’s initiation Frat Party left him entirely nauseated.

Cinnamon-tinted bile worked its way up his throat as he balanced against the sticky wall of the party.  Portraits of the last 50 Fraternity Presidents glared at him, and he had half a mind to projectile vomit on them.

The world was spinning, but if he put down the red solo cup of what Mokuba had affectionately called “Jungle Juice” he would be forced to interact with another living soul in the building, so he choked down the fireball with some of the alcoholic fruit punch.

That was a mistake.  If the world had been slightly off-balance before, the combined effect was really hitting, and the whole world was clearly spinning.  He didn’t dare dislodge himself from his spot on the wall.

“Kaiba?”  Joey approached.  Kaiba wanted to bite out some witty line about the profit margin on social work, but he didn’t totally trust himself to open his mouth.  “You ok?”

With a thick swallow, Kaiba looked over and bit out, “Fine.  How do you remember me from…”

“Yeah uh, I don’t give a lotta tours to CEO-billionaire transfer students, ya stuck out.”  Joey leaned in, clearly concerned.  “You don’t look so hot, you wanna sit down?  Have some water?”

Kaiba stepped away from the wall to get out of the situation, and maybe start walking back to his apartment.  Within two steps he stumbled.  His spatial reasoning was totally shot.

And so was all his good sense, melting into the strong arms that caught him.

“Yeah, let’s get ya some water, alright?  Man, you do not look like yer having a good time.”

“Still want me to tutor you in calculus?” Seto managed to say, leaning embarrassingly into his counterpart’s chest.

“Honestly, if you still understand it, in yer condition, then yeah, that’d be great.”

“Ha! It would be easy.”

“Look, I’m gay, okay, I can’t do math!” Joey laughed at his own joke.

“Pathetic! I am also gay, and I am the best at math.” Seto slurred, but sounded devastatingly serious.  Joey leaned the belligerent drunk into a chair in the dining room of the frat house.  “You don’t believe me?”

Joey raised his hands defensively, “I believe you!”

“No, you don’t.  I’ll prove it.  Bring me your homework.”

Joey wandered away.  At some point, he must have told his fraternity bros that Kaiba was going to do his calculus homework drunk, because Mokuba and a group came over.

Mokuba was wearing a Delta Mu shirt from their charity event last week—some sort of poker night—and his hair was even wilder than normal.  “Seto! This is so like you.  Did you really have to steal the spotlight at my initiation party?”

Seto looked up from a solo cup of water that Joey must have left behind.  “I am not here for any spotlight.  I’m going to prove a point.”

And with that, Joey reappeared with his old laptop wide open.  “The worksheet is open.  The software calculates your grade immediately after you press enter.”

“I know how the interface works, dumbass.”  Kaiba rolled his eyes and stretched his fingers in front of him.

“Ahh yer a mean drunk.  You might need a graphing calculator, by the way.”

“Then bring me a graphing calculator.”  Joey flipped him off, but left the room to get one.

The pledge-master, Tristan, stepped in.  “I dunno if this guy’s actually drunk, or just faking.”

“What incentive do I have to—”

“Moki-Moki, he’s your bro.  What do you think?  What would he never do if he was sober?” Tristan said.

“Talk about his feelings,” Mokuba said instantly, rolling his eyes and taking another sip to hide his smirk.

“Ok.  Well?”

Kaiba opened and shut his mouth a few times, before he announced, “I’m about to puke on this fool’s laptop.”

“Sounds like Seto.” Mokuba’s smirk blossomed into a smile at getting to make fun of his brother for once.

“FINE!”  The cold fire behind Seto’s eyes lit up.  “I am thissss close to making out with the hot blond dumb ass, but instead I’m going to do his homework.  Happy?”

“Moki?”

Mokuba’s smile vanished, and he wasn’t in any state to hide his shock.  “Checks out.  I’m … well I was… the only person who knew that Seto liked boys.”

Seto leaned into the computer.  “Great.  Bring me that graphing calculator and tequila shots for everyone.  I’m going to raise that guy’s grade 15%, and this is supposed to be a party.”

Joey reappeared with the calculator, and was shocked to see Seto actually making some headway on the problem set.  There were about fifteen problems.  Tristan put a neon plastic shot glass on the edge of the laptop, and without looking away from the screen, Seto slammed the shot.  If it burned his throat, he didn’t show it.

The gathered crowd looked at each other, holding matching neon shots awkwardly.  Tristan had clearly expected that Seto would have followed proper shots conduct and waited for the announcement.

Mokuba had years of experience with covering Seto’s faux pas.  “You saw the man! SHOTS!”  Everyone else downed them in tandom.

After a few minutes the group was chatting about other things and several of the brothers had entirely lost interest in watching Kaiba do calculus.  A smaller group of hold outs was extremely entertained, and Seto was going shockingly fast.

Within fifteen minutes the homework was complete.

“Done!” Seto shouted, pushing the graphic calculator across the table and was handed another tiny neon green shot glass, which he quickly downed.

Joey inspected the website.  It looked right enough.  “I dunno if I should submit this…” Joey waffled.

“Fool! Then we won’t know if I was right.” Seto looked unbearably offended.  

“But the academic honor code?”  Joey was actually nervous about this.

Seto leaned all the way back, and threaded his hands through his long hair.  “Screw the academic honor code.  I have money.”

“C’mon, don’t you wanna know if he’s the genius he’s supposed to be? Plus, no one else is going to know!” Tristan prodded.

Joey pressed enter.

The whole room paused while the site processed his answers.

“PERFECT SCORE!” Joey shouted, throwing his hands up!

The group had grown again and cheered, and Mokuba called for another round of celebratory shots, which served to drive the group back into the kitchen.

Joey and Seto were left alone.  Seto rested his head against the table and looked up at Joey.

“So… uh… ya wanna make out with me?” Joey blushed a little.

“I am literally going to puke, right now. Step aside.”  Seto shifted to get up.  He looked determined to make it to his feet, but it was not promising.

Joey leaned over to help.  “I can’t believe that you can do calculus, but ya can barely stand.  Yer ridiculous.”

“Still want me to tutor you?”

“So much.”

The end.

[spidercakes]

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Omega!Peter and Alpha!Tony.

Warning: Peter is 17 (Tony is a year and a half older), there’s some mentions of abuse (not with the main pairing), feminization (Peter).

*

Peter has to take like twenty pictures before he arranges himself just right in the frame and sends it off to Quentin. When his phone buzzes he gets a noncommittal niceand Peter stares at the phone for a few moments because he’s kind of pissed, actually. When Quent sends him a picture he’s supposed to fawn all over him but he gets nicewith no punctuation? Really? Ugh, he’s so damn sick of Quentin being likethat because he’s suresomeone else would appreciate his efforts and he’s sotempted to test it too because his skirt is cuteand the picture is fucking artful, okay? He even made sure the lighting was nice. Fucking Quent.

He stews on that for a long time, texting the group chat back and forth about it while he does math homework, ugh. Ned, probably because he kind of hates Quentin, tells him he should do it and when he asks for MJ’s advice he’s pretty sure she encourages him because she loves drama so long as it doesn’t involve her. Liz, as always, is the voice of reason and tells him he’s just frustrated, which is truebut also. He just wants to know, for scienceas MJ helpfully put it, if someone else would actually give him a half way decent response. Not that that’s hard when your competition is nice, no punctuation.

Its not like he’s really considering it much when he scrolls through his contact list on account of everyone he knows knows Quentin, obviously, and they’d obviously pass the information of him sending out saucy pictures to other people. And then Peter would have to deal with thatlike Quentin doesn’t flirt with every omega that moves not that Peter can do that, godforbid. Ned told him once that if he wanted a knot that badly he should get a dildo because they don’t talk back and Peter’s tempted some days because he’s sure a dildo would take less work to care for than Quentin’s big ass ego.

So maybe that’s why he lingers over Tony Stark’s name and he can’t even remember howhe got his number but its not like he goes to their high school anymore and even when he did he hated Quent so its not like he’d sayanything if Peter sent him something. For science, just to see if Quent really isa jackass or maybe he’s just overreacting.

For S C I E N C EMJ texts and he really shouldn’t.

You should just dump himNed adds in the group chat.

Omg guys stop it! Just talk to him like a normal human!Liz says, remaining the voice of reason.

Talking is for people, not QuentinsMJ sends back and Peter snickers.

Send me saucy pics, will rate them out of tenNed says with three laughing emojis.

We all already vet them the fuck are you on about that pic was cute as fuckMJ says.

Hey wait, is that my skirt? Liz says and Peter looks down. Well, maybe.

Nohe lies.

Omg it is give that back I’ve been looking for it everywhere!

You didn’t notice until we after we vetted the pic I say Peter should be allowed to keep itNed says.

You’re cute as hell Liz but it does look better on PeterMJ adds.

You guys suck. Don’t send that pic to anyone!Liz says.

Peter nods, knowing she’s right when his phone buzzes again and its Quent and the asshole, the asshole!

What, is that it? Gunna send more or are you back to being a tease?

A tease? “Oh fuck you Quentin,” Peter snaps, finding Tony’s number in his phone again and sending him the damn picture. He knows he’s being stupid but it makes him feel better so… that’s not an excuse but whatever, he doesn’t care.

Tony’s response doesn’t take long.

Um.

Think that was meant for someone else.

I deleted it obvs.

Because like

I’m not a piece of shit

The texts come in quick succession because apparently Tony doesn’t have a thing about double texting, Peter guesses. He considers the response for a moment before he sends something back.

And if I said that was meant for you?

Because that’s what he wanted to know, right? Except sending out racy pictures to people who didn’t ask for them is kind of creepy and now Peter feels bad because it’s not like he enjoys it when it happens to him. Mostly because the pictures always look like fucking prisonsecurityphotos and whether or not he asked for them pictures with poor composition are a total turn off. His phone buzzes, then buzzes again right away and Peter figures either MJ dropped something horrible like the Grinch sucking a dick into the group chat again or its Tony. He sighs, picking it up and resigning himself to his fate either way when he notices its Tony.

AFHPWURE

Ok

What the fuck did I do to get this luck lmao

This is like

The best gift when studying

That skirt is so much more interesting than physics

Kinda mad I deleted it now

Peter smiles a little and sends it back just to be polite like that. Tony keeps up the trend of responding quickly, phone buzzing as his messages come in.

Bro

I don’t want to look the gift horse in the mouth

But also what prompted this

But also also I kind of don’t care

I am 100% on board with whatever this is

Like probably even 200%

Or more

Point is you’re the best

And also like really cute

I don’t remember you being that cute

Peter reads all the messages and laughs, shaking his head because apparently Tony says whatever is on his mind but, for science, he figures maybe he’ll send him a little something else too. It’s always good to try and repeat your results, right? So he abandons his desk and homework in favor of his bed, carefully laying himself down on his stomach as he hikes the skirt a little higher around his waist so the pleats sit justlong enough to cover his ass as he opens the camera on his phone. He watches the mirror in the background as he lifts his legs, crossing them at the ankles and spreading his legs just a bit. Its more than a little suggestive, if Tony takes the time to look in the background of the picture anyway. From the front is a pretty cute picture with half his face in the frame while the rest of it is taken up with an artful shot of his body. With the skirt hiked up like that its still pretty risqué but the devil is in the details.

He sends it off to Tony, for science reasons purely or at least that’s what he tells himself anyway. If he’s honest he kind of likes the attention because he missesit and it always feels like he has to jump through hoops to get Quent to pay him any attention at all. Tony doesn’t seem to need as much plying.

Omg

I’m so torn

On one hand, physics exam. Worth 40% of my grade

On the other hand

He sends back a close up of Peter’s picture with a red circle drawn around the mirror and a lot of exclamation points.

You see my dilemma, surely

And like

I’m good at physics I can probably pass without studying

So, science concluded, Quentin is a fucking dick and Peter bites his lip, unsure what to do here so he drops a message into the group chat fully anticipating Liz judging him so he’s a little surprised when she answers first and tells him to just dump Quent. MJ and Ned respond ‘fuck him’ at the same time and Peter considers his options for a moment.

*

Its not like Peter meantfor this to happen but Quent was being a total assholeagain and Peter has been told he’s got the patience of a saint but even he has his limits. So he had dumped Quent maybe a little too publically considering he told him to stuff it in the middle of the cafeteria before storming off and Tony happened to send one of his adorably stupid jokes at the right time. But still, its not like he meantfor it to lead to him in the back seat of Tony’s car with his arms wrapped around Tony’s neck as Tony guides his hips the way he wants. “Yes, baby, just like that,” Tony tells him as he moves, “feel so good,” he murmurs as he moves one of his hands up Peter’s bare back.

He moans at the praise, pressing his forehead to Tony’s. “Yes,” he murmurs into Tony’s mouth as he kisses him, “touch me.” Tony does, hands roaming up his back and down again, brushing over his hips, up his sides and down his chest. Tony touches him like he can’t get enough and Peter feels the sharp flush of arousal at Tony’s hands explore his body.

Tony lets out a soft groan, “so wet for me baby,” Tony tells him, shifting his hips up into Peter’s.

Peter nods, breathless. “Like the way you touch me,” he murmurs into Tony’s mouth as he kisses him. Tony reaches up and brushes his fingers across Peter’s cheek and he can feelthe way he produces more slick in response.

“What, never had anyone take care of you?” Tony murmurs, eyes soft and caring as he runs his fingers through Peter’s hair. He shakes his head because Quent wasn’t like… badat sex, actually he was pretty good at it, but Peter kind of always felt like a means to an end rather than an actual participant. Tony wasn’t like that from the start. Peter knew as soon as Tony saw him, conveniently wearing that skirt he’d first sent pictures of himself in, he’d wanted to fuck him but he let Peter make the first move and made sure everything he did was okay. Peter wouldn’t have thought he’d like that much, he’s always had a bit of a thingfor bad boys but its not like Tony doesn’t look the part. He just doesn’t act it and Peter finds that surprisingly attractive.

“Up, baby,” Tony murmurs, patting the underside of Peter’s ass and he frowns.

“What? No,” he says, full well knowing that he sounds whiney and Tony laughs.

“Shh, baby s’not like that. Lay back, let me take care of you,” he murmurs, leaning forward and kissing Peter softly as he guides him off. Peter still makes a noise at the loss but lets Tony lay him out over the seat of the car. It’s awkward, in the cramped space, but Tony makes do as he settles between Peter’s legs. His hand curls around the outside of Peter’s right knee, thumb softly caressing the skin there as he looks down at Peter. “Fuckyou are gorgeous,” he murmurs, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the inside of his thigh.

He sucks in a breath and Tony smiles at him as he kisses him again, carefully sucking at the soft skin of his inner thigh. Peter’s breath hitches again as Tony moves a little lower, kisses soft and sweet as he moves his way down. His legs fall further apart mostly of their own accord, a silent invitation for Tony to keep going. “Tony,” Peter all but whines as Tony takes his time.

Tony lifts his head from where he’s nipping at the inside of Peter thigh, “yeah, baby?” he murmurs.

Peter makes a soft, frustrated noise. “Give me more than that,” he tells Tony.

Tony grins, giving the inside of Peter’s though one last kiss before he shifts his position. “Hm, guess I should give you a little something for wearing this, shouldn’t I?” he asks, toying with the edge of Peter’s skirt.

“Wanted you to want me,” Peter tells him and Tony laughs.

“Mission fucking accomplished. But you could have done that wearing a paper bag,” Tony says.

Peter lets out a breathless laugh, “flatterer,” he accuses lightly.

Tony shakes his head though, “mm, I’m not much of a flatterer unless it’s earned. And fuck, its like you’re made just for me you’re so perfect,” Tony tells him as he lifts his skirt and licks up the length of his dick, root to tip and Peter gasps, one hand flying into Tony’s hair as he takes Peter into his mouth.

“Tony!” Peter gasps, grip on his hair tightening and Tony moans around him. Peter does his best to keep his hips from jerking involuntarily as Tony works him over. He’s clearly practiced, skilled with the use of his tongue and Peter moans loudly, back arching as Tony’s head bobs over him.

His breath comes faster as he moans and this mostly only seems to encourage Tony, who enthusiastically throws himself into it and Peter finds that almost as hot as the blowjob. Quent didn’t really go down on him much, always complained that he was too loud and squirmed too much to make it worth his time but Tony doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. Judging from the way his fingers flex on Peter’s thighs and the way he moans when Peter does he’d say Tony actively likes his squirminess so Quent can suck it. Figuratively seems how he couldn’t be assed to do it literally.

Tony shifts a little, shifting as his fingers trail up Peter’s inner thigh until they hit his ass. Peter gasps as he runs his fingers over his hole, teasing lightly. “Tony, please,” Peter tells him, tugging on his hair a bit as encouragement. Tony moans softly and presses two fingers in and Peter can’t help the way his hips jerk up a little. Tony doesn’t complain about it as he fucks into Peter with his fingers. Peter’s breath is coming in ragged as the pleasure builds and he bites his lip.

“Tony,” Peter says, grip on Tony’s hair tight. “Tony ‘m gunna,” Peter stops, moaning as Tony’s fingers curl a little inside him and his hips buck up again. He shifts his legs so they’re open a little wider and Tony moans around him again. Peter throws his head back, biting his lip. “Tony ‘m gunna cum,” he tells him.

Tony takes that as encouragement to pick up the pace and the shit he’s doing with his tongue is fucking sinfuland Peter finally gets who people likethis kind of thing. “Tony,” he says, one hand gripping the seat he’s on hard and the other still tightly woven in Tony’s hair. “Tony ‘m gunna… gunna- oh, oh!” he says, head thrown back as he cums, letting Tony suck him through it. He allows himself to relax for a few moments before he musters the energy to look down at Tony, who looks pleased with himself.

“How’d you like that, baby?” he asks and Peter lets out a soft laugh.

“I think I might be in love with you,” he says, only half joking.

*

Quent looks pissed and Peter doesn’t really give a shit. “Oh shut upQuentin, this is your own fault for not appreciating me enough,” Peter tells him.

Quentin rolls his eyes, “oh, like you can do any better, Peter,” he snaps.

Peter snorts, “it didn’t even take me twenty four hours to find better Quent. You suck thatmuch and not even literally! God, you’re such a prick you couldn’t even be bothered to go down on me once and a damn while!” he says, throwing his hands up in frustration. He ignores the laughter of his classmates because Quent was the one who started yelling in the hallway so this is hisfault really. He resents that Quent looks so mad about this because Peter was happy to have just dumped him and that could have been the end of it but no.

“Dude, not going down on you is automatic dumpage material considering I knowhe expected you to do it,” MJ says off to the side.

“Oh fuck off,” Quent snaps at her but she looks nonplussed.

“Not my fault you’re the fucking worst Quentin. If you wanted Peter so stick around maybe you shouldn’t have made him cry at least twice a week. Didn’t think I had to write that one down for you,” she says, rolling her eyes.

That earns a laugh out of his classmates too and if MJ weren’t so cool about the whole thing, and if they weren’t currently surrounded by witnesses, Peter doesn’t really want to consider what Quent would do. Instead of dealing with her he turns to glare at Peter, “whatever the hell you picked up so isn’t better than me,” he says and Peter squints at him.

“Oh my god, Quent its not even a competition. It would be cruel to stick you in a competition with Tony anyway; its like throwing a fish on land and having it race a cheetah. It’s sad and stupid and all you’ll do is flop around and be pathetic. The fact that he’s better than you isn’t even something I need to think about, it’s just obvious,” he says.

At least Tony listens when he talks, and he likes Star Wars too and he didn’t make fun of him for wanting to build Star Wars Lego things with Ned. Actually he sort of invited himself along and they all had a greattime and ordered pizza because Tony’s not a total dick.

Quent turns an unflattering shade of red at his words and he reaches out for Peter but someone pulls him back. He looks behind him to find Liz there, Ned right beside her looking surprisingly ready to fight considering Ned can’t even manage to win a battle with finding matching socks. “Leave him alone Quentin, he said your done and you are. You don’t get to decide your not,” Liz tells him.

“Also,” Peter adds, “and this is the important part- I moved onand let me tell you a god damn rock would have been more affectionate than you ever were. And wash your god damn football shit, it smells like jock strap and dead things,” he snaps and his classmates erupt in laughter so hard they don’t cut it out this time, laughing over whatever it is that Quentin says back as Liz drags him off.

“Okay,” Ned says once they’re outside. “That was badass,” he tells Peter.

“Good for you,” MJ tells him. “You should have throat punched him though.”

Liz frowns, “why do you always suggest doing that?” she asks.

MJ shrugs, “always wanted to see someone get throat punched and Quentin has a punchable throat,” she says. “By the way just because Ned approves of your new guy that you moved on to waytoo fast doesn’t mean he’s made it past me. Liz doesn’t count because she’s a pushover,” MJ tells him.

“I am not! Just because I don’t suggest punching people doesn’t mean I put up with people’s crap. And for the record if I had to watch anyone get throat punched I would definitely want it to be Quentin,” she tells him. “He does have a punchable throat. And a punchable everything else too.”

“Yeah, but he’s hot,” Peter says, offering up Quentin’s only redeeming quality.

MJ makes a face, “okay,” she says sarcastically and Peter resents that. They all know Quentin is hot and has nothing else to offer so he feels he should get credit there even if he only gets credit there. God, at least Tony has a personality.

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @kapists

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a bowl shape. all of your planets are focused in half of the chart. this usually makes the owner of the chart feel uncompleted, as if a part of their life is missing. in your case, it would be something regarding your identity, your mind. you may look for this missing part of yourself in your partner, or maybe in your friends, or even in stuff like work, passions etc. this may cause you to be too dependant of others, or maybe you become obsessed and overindulge in what makes you feel complete.

your dominant planets are mercury, jupiter and the moon. you are an extremely intelligent person under every point of view; you're both logically and philosophically intelligent, as well as emotionally. you're very witty, open-minded and fair, you most likely have a good sense of humor and you could also be quite emotional and moody too.

your dominant sign is aquarius. you're eccentric and rebel, you don't like being told what to do. you're very considerate of others, as you focus more on the development of a group rather than your persona. that's because you want the people you frequent to be as open-minded as you are. aquarius people are capable of elaborating different ideas in a short amount of time; hence, you either overwork yourself, or you're not able to keep up with all your ideas, leaving projects unfinished.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌍 ascendant in virgo, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and venus

you have a practical approach to the world. you’re kind of logical, it’s hard for you to improvize. you always want to keep everything neat and organized, at least in your mind. you could have a natural coldness to your face. you may seem a bit older than you are, or at least very mature and responsible, even though you may be more outgoing than you look due to your sagittarius moon, event though you may tend to hide this bubbly side of you to strangers. with your attentive eyes, you pay attention to every single detail you see. you’re a perfectionist, and you always want and try to be at your best state. I would say you’re quite competitive when it comes to your goals, but you don’t really do it to be above others. you do it because your obsession for details kind of stresses you out. improving and proving yourself is a way to boost your self-esteem, you feel fulfilled when you can achieve your goals. you are extremely intelligent and logical, you’re always up for a deep talk or simply for an occasion to gain more knowledge. you like being smart, you always want to know about everything. even the latest, trendy meme counts for you. your nature is very cautious; you’re rarely impulsive, you always think deeply about your decisions, as you don’t want to commit any mistakes. because of that, you can be particularly picky. not only with material things such as movies, books, food etc. but even with people. it’s hard for you to open up to someone you don’t know at all. you take things slow, both in friendships and in relationships, just to preserve yourself. you may come off as kind of snobby, but you’re just misunderstood. you don’t like flaky bonds, you need security in your life. physically, as I’ve already mentioned before, you have this kind of strict look on your face. your eyes may be almond-shaped, and you could have a natural feline gaze. overall, you have something smaller about your features; you could have thin lips, a small nose, small eyes… you could have a smaller frame with thin bones, and you don’t gain weight easily. you may be of average height, and I’ve noticed that most virgos tend to have pretty long legs? no matter if they’re tall or not, their legs will still be longer than their bust.

virgo ascendant square sagittarius moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the ascendant being in virgo doens’t help either, as this placement makes you quite afraid of being judged or too seen. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. yet, with your virgo ascendant you don’t want to be read, therefore you end up feeling ashamed of your own emotions. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

virgo ascendant opposite pisces venus: this aspect makes you more sociable and prone to interact with people. even if you're shy and / or introverted, you still most likely have good social skills that allow you to make new friends easily if you try. you’re also most probably very attractive, people are naturally drawn to you. the downside of this placement is that you may suffer from self-esteem issues, as you really care about others’ impression of you. maybe you’re a little bit clumsy too. it’s easy for you to gain popularity, but be careful as it’s not always good. popularity brings scandals too, so people you see in your everyday life could possibly start gossips around you. the good thing about this aspect is that you emanate loyalty, so you usually attract and choose loyal and trust-worthy partners. this placement may also bring issues and problems in marriage with your future partner, even though I don’t think it’s your case. your venus is pretty much well-placed, so I don’t think there’ll be serious problems.

virgo ascendant opposite pisces jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also softens your strict virgo image, making you look more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may be depend too much from your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

🌞 sun in aquarius, 22° / 3rd decan ruled by uranus and venus

this is the most intelligent aquarius decan. even though you may face some insecurities, you’re typically a strong-minded person. you strive for independence, as you focus your existence on your witty intellect. you have the ability to achieve great things, as your mind is literally revolutionary, even though you may struggle to make those projects concrete. a downside to this placement is that you may not give enough importance to your words; you’re brutally honest, and you may often hurt someone with your thoughts. even though you may appreciate it, as you don’t like it when people aren’t straight-forward, you probably don’t realize the effect your words can have on others. you’re also quite stubborn, and you take particular pride about your ideals. you may feel offended when people disagree with you. or maybe, you don’t even say your opinions, because you could be aware of the weight of your words and you don’t want to hurt others, or you’re afraid of being judged. people may define you as cold at first, but thanks to your jupiter dominance in your chart you manage to seem way more approachable than the typical aquarius sun.

aquarius sun conjunct aquarius mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy virgo dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even philosophical quotes. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

🌙 moon in sagittarius, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

you're an outgoing and warm person, who always tries to make others feel at ease. I assume you try to be nice to everyone, but you can't help but be a little awkward around people you don't know. with your sagittarius moon, you go with the flow and don't shy away from challenges. they're moments to prove your potential and abilities. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, mysogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re friendly, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. you're quite optimistic, as you see good in everyone. yet, while this is a good trait that allows you to be more at ease in relationships, you may also be fooled easily due to your blind optimism.

sagittarius moon square pisces jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control, especially with your unpredictable aquarius moon. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable to contrast your virgo rising.

🗣 mercury in aquarius, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by uranus and venus

mercury is exalted in the sign of aquarius, so this is definitely a beneficial placement! you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute. I would say that the only problem with this placement is that you may come off as a know-it-all, especially with your virgo rising. you're proud of your intellect, you can't help but show it off, but obviously others may be jealous of you or feel attacked. for your voice, I assume you have a very particular tone, maybe even a nasal voice.

❤️ venus in pisces, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by neptune and the moon

you’re hopelessly romantic, to the point that you almost look naive. you’re not simply looking for a partner or spouse, you’re looking for a soulmate; someone you can literally communicate with just using your eyes, someone that knows how to make you feel even messier on the inside. you like to nurture and feel nurtured in a relationship. your ideal lover would be sensitive and empathetic, yet still with a sort of rebel vibe to them. this placement is indeed very lovely, but it has its downsides too, of course. the problem is, pisces makes you idealize your crushes/partners way too much, to the point that you create an image of someone in your head that turns out to be the opposite at the end. you ignore your partner’s flaws, as they seem perfect to you. pisces also attracts 'broken’ persons, so you may be prone to find yourself people with any kind of illness or addiction. you also have the tendency to fall for people who may hurt you because they’re unavailable, either physically or emotionally. you could possibly also crush on celebrities, movie characters etc. that’s because you’re more the type to fall in love with love, rather than with the actual person.

pisces venus square sagittarius pluto: you find yourself having crushes on random people often, love at first sight is common for you. but when you seriously fall for someone, they’re your only thought. you start searching for info about them online, and you wanna become part of their life too. you love intensely, but not everyone may enjoy that. there are people that could feel overwhelmed by your love, others that would vibe with you and offer you the same kind of affection. ironically, you tend to attract detached, free-spirited people that most of the times don’t want anything serious. you’re prone to get jealous and possessive very easily, and this makes you suffer, as you may think there’s something wrong with you. maybe, it may even remind you of something that happened during your childhood, perhaps your parents were also very protective of you. love for you is a constant grow; your relationships will be hard, but there’ll always be something to learn to improve yourself and your confidence. little side-note, you may often date karmic partners, aka partners from your past lives, so you may often experience this 'I’ve already seen you before’-vibe in your new encounters and relationships, and you’ll always learn something from all your relationships.

☄️ mars in scorpio, 5° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you’re an extremely goal-oriented person. you want to be the best at everything you do, not only to be better than others but also the best for yourself. you’re very astute, it’s impossible to trick you, and you always find a way to be in charge and get what you want. yet, you can get quite obsessed about your goals, that you could do extreme things to get what you want. in fact, people with this placement can even manipulate others, as they’re totally capable of doing that. yet, I don’t see many placements that point out to that in the rest of your chart. when you get angry, you could actually seem scary. your emotions are very intense, it’s hard to calm you down. mixed with your sagittarius moon and aquarius mercury, you may be very sarcastic and aggressive with your words. you could hurt people, but you don’t do it on purpose. most of the time, you don’t even mean the things you say. you may also vent your anger with physical action, hence you could slam doors, punch or break things etc.

scorpio mars opposite aries saturn: this placement indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams, loving yourself and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses, interceptions

your 1st house is in virgo. you appear as someone intelligent, possibly judgmental and critical. in fact, you’re a perfectionist, and most of the time you appreciate it when someone takes care of themselves just as much as you do. you’re also particularly pessimistic, and this could be annoying for those around you. you're very logical, you probably lack intuition just like you lack water in your chart. you're very pragmatic, and you may even be judgmental, but this energy is probably mitigated by your jupiter dominance, which makes you more open-minded and flexible. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 6th house: your career success makes you feel realized and fulfilled. working is important in your life, and it is a great boost for your self-esteem. having a good reputation and being in charge, a leader, is one of your goals in life. your life may also revolve around your health, it could be particularly good or maybe there could be some issues that require a lot of attention to cure.

your 2nd house is in libra. you find beauty and aesthetic in material things; you most probably love clothes, art, music… anything that isn’t exactly a priority in life, but that allows you to express your personal taste, which is very refined. with this placement I’d suggest that you should pursue a career that allows you to express your creativity, as arts and beauty allow you not only to make money, but also to increase your security and confidence. you could also spend money in venusian things like clothes, make-up, decorations and anything that involves beauty and aesthetic. with mars placed in this house, I feel like you may be very fond of money. you could do something just to earn material things from it, like money or any other good that satisfies your wants. you may be quite materialistic, you enjoy the finer things in life, or at least you want to be financially stable. you like the idea of saving money, but ironically you may be too impulsive when it comes to finances and spend money in random things you may not need. the ruler of the 2nd house is placed in the 6th house: your future job will probably allow you to earn a great income, especially if you get promoted to a better position, which is very possible considering your placements. you could actually become the leader or boss at work. this is also another placement that indicates that you may work in a creative field, hence with arts or beauty. possibly, you could even do well as a lawyer, a judge or politician.

your 3rd house in scorpio. you probably love witty jokes and sarcasm. you’re extremely honest when you think and speak, and most of the times you have no problems expressing your opinions. you could possibly be very good with words and be good at convincing and manipulating others. usually this placement makes someone kind of mischievous when it comes to words, but I think that with all the jupiter, influence in your chart and your well-aspected mercury, you’re able to control this in order not to hurt others. your mind is very deep, you’re probably not really into small talks. you may also love anything that is considered taboo, like astrology, horror, nudity, death… you’re also quite secretive, you’re seen as an enigma. you don’t want to share much about you. last but not least, you value honesty above all. you only speak the truth, and hence you also want it back. you may as well be into conspiracy theories, science and anything that can expose what’s behind the universe, the government etc.

your 4th house is in sagittarius, with also the moon placed in this house. you could come from a foreign place, or perhaps you moved houses a lot during your childhood. perhaps, you have someone in your family that is from a different culture or religion from yours, or perhaps they’re able to speak more than one language. your parents could have been very successful at school, they could actually be professors. you might’ve always been a smart kid, you could’ve grown up learning more languages and you were most likely good at school too. you also got to make lots of experiences during your childhood, you might have travelled a lot. your relationship with your family is most likely very good. it could be that there might have been a few misunderstandings between you and your parents, but nothing too serious. maybe, they could have been a bit distant, it could be that they had to travel a lot for work and hence you felt lonely; or maybe, it's the opposite, they were a bit too affectionate and overwhelming, and you may have been babied or spoiled a bit too much. yet, this didn't really affect your growth and mentality, so it's probably nothing important. in fact, you also have the moon placed in this house, which indicates that your family is your comfort-zone. you feel comfortable with them, you're allowed to express yourself the way you want without being judged or repressed. the ruler of the 4th house is in the 7th house: you're probably fond of love and families, and you'll most likely form one with your future spouse, you'll probably have children. you may also marry someone from your childhood, like an old friend of yours, or in general someone that will feel like home to you. they could be very nurturing and protective of you.

your 5th house is in the sign of capricorn. capricorn usually brings a feeling of seriousness to the house it’s in. I don't think it's your case, though. in fact, neptune, uranus and the sun are also placed in this house. you could be a bit more introverted, probably you’re not the type to frequent clubs, parties, etc. you’re more serious from that point of view. your hobbies could actually drain your energy for you; let’s suppose you’re into videogames. you could literally spend the whole day playing videogames, as you take your hobbies very seriously. you’re not the type to start a project and then leave it, and it could be helpful considering that your aquarius sun gets bored very easily, you’re very resolute. also, you most likely have 'mature’ hobbies; you could be into politics, economy, history… you could be into slower types of music, for example, or perhaps you like reading about world issues. with your children you may be quite strict, as you see them as a responsibility. also, you may often be attracted or attract older or more mature partners. you're most likely a very romantic and artistic person, you may be fond of music, dancing, singing, acting... anything creative that stimulates your senses. yet, you may be a bit picky when it comes to hobbies; you probably only like reading specific types of books, you only listen to a certain music style, you're very unconventional. you're not the type to follow trends, especially with your strong aquarius dominance in your chart. you like particular forms of art, things that stand out and that actually carry an important meaning with them.

your 6th house is in aquarius, with also mercury and venus placed in this house. people with aquarius in their 6th house need to change their routine throughout your life. probably, when you were you younger they taught you things that aren’t healthy for your body and health. you may have to change your diet, your medicines… also, you may sometimes procrastinate in your day-to-day life. I don’t think you do it too often, but it may still happen dominance in your chart, but for example you wouldn’t mind skipping a day of school or work to play videogames. this placement also indicates that you may often come across unpredictable events in your daily life. you may often see strange, unordinary things, or perhaps it’s your routine that is like that. you may lack consistency when it comes to diets and health, for example; you may start a diet and keep it for a month, then you get tired and drop it all of a sudden. you could also develop unexpected diseases. mercury here indicates that you get to communicate a lot in your day-to-day life, and hence you could pursue a career that involves words and communication of any kind, you may have to interact with other people in your job. it will most likely be a creative, artistic job, as your venus sitting in this house suggests. it will be a very pleasant job, it won't even feel like a duty to you as you'll choose a job that you like and that you're passionate about.

your 7th house is in pisces, with also jupiter placed in this house. with this pisces descendant, you attract people that are pretty much very intuitive and soft; they could have pisces placements, or at least they’ll be extremely artistic and emotional. yet, you may as well surround yourself with 'broken’ people. that is, people that aren’t exactly in the best state of their health, whether physically or mentally. neptune, the ruler of this house, is in the 5th house. since in your chart the 5th house represents your job too. you’ll most likely meet your future spouse at your work place. you could pursue the same career, they could be a customer of yours… or perhaps, you could meet them in a fun situation, like a party, a vacation, a night out... any situation where you're supposed to be chilling and having fun, you may meet your future spouse there. with jupiter in this house, you may meet your future spouse at school, or maybe even directly abroad. they may be foreign, or at least they’re able to speak a different language from yours. they could also have a different culture/religion. also, in a relationship you probably hate feeling suffocated. while your pisces venus may make you enjoy skinship, you may sometimes also need your space, you still need your freedom, especially since your dominant sign is aquarius. overall, this placement also indicates that you may have more than one marriage, or in general you'll date many people. you could also be quite lucky when it comes to love, and you only tend to attract the positive side of your pisces descendant.

your 8th house is in aries, with also saturn placed there. generally, people with aries in their 8th house are very confident when it comes to taboo topics; they have no problems showing their interest in them, especially with people they're intimate with. yet, due to saturn's presence in this house, this effect may be delayed for you. in fact, you may actually be afraid of darker topics and embrace them. for example, you could have little or no sex drive at all. this is something that gets naturally better with time as you make more experiences and grow mature. your saturn isn't harshly aspected either, hence I wouldn't worry too much. you may also be particularly sensitive to or even tame physical pain. you constantly try to improve yourself by coming up with new projects, you love challenges. they help you growing up into the person you want to become. you may come across some hardships regarding yourself, your identity. but, when you face those fears and start loving yourself, you’ll naturally become more mature and 'transform’. last but not least, this placement can also indicate that you're going to have a painful death, or perhaps your father could have been absent throughout your life, emotionally or even physically. with the ruler of the 8th house in the 2nd house, you may be known for your successful career, maybe you may actually get popular and wealthy easily. you could earn lots of money from your job, even though I don’t see you being totally independent. you may work under a boss for example, or perhaps you get successful thanks to others’ support, for example you could have some fans that help you boost your career. you may also open a business by yourself and make tons of money easily. basically, you probably always manage to get money, even when you're struggling.

your 9th house is in taurus. with this placement, I feel like you may use your intellect to gain financial security and material possessions. while this is a good thing, as it helps increasing your confidence, don’t forget that your intellect is more important than money or any other thing. don’t underestimate it. you’re totally capable of learning and understanding things by yourself, hence don’t wait for others for help. you should start dealing with your own experiences alone, without anybody else’s help. this placement can also be someone a little close-minded; in fact, you're probably very stubborn and firm about your beliefs. you hardly ever allow others to change your mind. mixed with your logical, aquarius dominance, you probably lack intuition. the ruler of the 9th house is in the 6th house: your job could possibly include travelling, foreign languages and different cultures in general. possibly, you could also a be a teacher, a professor, a coach… anything that allows you to give lessons. you may also be fond of higher education, and you may become a poet, a philosopher, basically a writer of any kind.

your 10th house is in gemini. you may actually pursue more than one career throughout your life! you’re very flexible and skilled at multi-tasking, so you probably wouldn’t feel stressed about it. perhaps, you could alternate a creative profession with a more logical career, like working in an office for example. also, your suitable jobs should include communication and creativity at the same time; you could be a writer, for example. or perhaps, you could keep these two things in two separate jobs. what matters is that you use words in both of them, and hence you could even be a judge, a singer, a translator, etc. you may also have to interact with other people in your job, I don't see you working from home for example. you could even work as a teacher, or even professor since your jupiter is strongly placed in your chart.

your 11th house is in cancer. this placement indicates that your friends, they’re your comfort-zone. you feel understood when you’re with them, they’re pretty much like a family to you. you can tell them anything, you put all of your trust in them. or at least, if you haven’t met anyone like this yet, you’ll surely meet a friend that is like a soulmate to you. they’ll also be very important for your growth. in addition, it could also be that you’re still friends with someone from your childhood or even high school days, and hence you could literally grow up together. you could also have some step-siblings. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 4th house: since your 4th house is in sagittarius, you could befriend people from a different country, nationality or culture from yours. your friends may come from abroad, they may be able to speak more than a language just like you do. or at least, they’re also very open-minded and intelligent. you may also meet them in school / college or even work.

lastly, your 12th house is in leo. this is kind of a tricky placement, as leo rules the self, the ego, and the 12th house rules fears. you could be afriad of being too confident, of feeling worth it, or even just by being in the spotlight. perhaps, you have stage fright. this fear of embracing your persona makes you very insecure, even though you probably don’t show it. also, since your 12th house is the house of dreams, you could often make dreams that involve yourself. you hardly ever dream of someone else, and if you they’re probably your lovers, possibly your friends. you may also make daydreams or sleeping dreams of creative, utopic scenarios. the ruler of the 12th house is in the 5th house: your hobbies most likely involve spiritual matters; you may be into psychology, astrology, tarots, religion... you may even have sleeping as a hobby, you could sleep a lot to relax. you could also enjoy yoga, meditating and doing charity work.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract pisces, sagittarius, aquarius, leo and capricorn placements. your future spouse will most likely have some of their planets in sagittarius or capricorn; they’ll be well-balanced, with a stable job and finances. yet, they won’t be too much of a workaholic, as they’re also most probably a chill individual who loves relax and vacation as well. they could also be foreign and very open-minded. yet, they could be quite impulsive and chilidish at times. your chart points out that this relationship will be kind of unordinary; you may meet them abroad, most likely at work, or even during a simple trip. they’ll also be very spiritual, perhaps religious, or even psychic. your children will have aquarius placements, as well as pisces, cancer and leo traits too. they’ll be extremely open-minded and intelligent; they could be a bit rebellious, but in a very woke and revolutionary way. they'll be very creative and emotional too. also, this placement indicates that you may get pregnant unexpectedly, so be careful to that.

👶🏻 family life

your mother was probably very outgoing, sociable and open-minded. she was probably very intelligent too, and she could have been a successful student. she was basically the perfect, nurturing mother. yet, she probably was too emotional, she could have even been quite possessive or moody. she probably has sagittarius, pisces and / or cancer placements in her chart, as well as 9th, 12th and 4th house placements. your father, on the other hand, was probably less strict than your mother. he had a complex personality, he most likely used to act different based on the situation he was him. but you most likely used to play a lot with him, you had fun together. he could have been very sociable and intelligent too. he may have gemini or virgo placements in his chart, as well as 3rd and 6th house placements, perhaps even 9th. if you have siblings, they have scorpio or aries placements in their chart, as well as 1st / 8th house placements. you might have fought a lot when you were young, there were many control issues and your bond is very intense. yet, you're still very affectionate, and your bond will probably get better as time goes by.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, your future career will most likely involve communication of any kind; you could have to interact with other people, and hence you may work in a place that allows you to communicate with others and that can get quite crowded, like a shop for example. you'll most likely start from these small jobs, like working in a cafe for example. yet, your gemini midheaven indicates that you can handle way stronger careers; above all, communication and creativity are the most indicated fields for you to be successful. you would do amazing as a writer for example, or perhaps you could even become an amazing teacher / professor. yet, you may even choose to pursue a more complex career, like a career in the med field. you could become a nurse for example, as it allows you to both help and communicate with other people. you will start from simple things, but as time goes by, you'll be able to become more independent, maybe even a leader. you probably won't have to depend too much on other people.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you love wearing comfy, even over-sized fits, but that still look stylish and modern. for example, you may be fond of wide leg trousers, oversized t-shirts or sweatshirts... for the colors, you may fancy pastel colors, especially different shades of blue, or even just natural colors, such as white, beige, kaki etc. you may also like wearing baby/pastel colors, and you may experiment a lot with accessories. you may wear lots of bracelets.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life time, you didn’t have a specific priority. you just enjoyed wandering with your mind and creativity, allowing yourself to relax with your friends. you used to depend on someone else, not really on yourself. this lifetime, you need to establish your independence AND solid boundaries, not just those you used to daydream about. don’t be afraid to let your inner child out; go to amusement parks, binge-watch netflix, date your crushes, have an hobby, play videogames… you could also play with actual children. anything that brings fun out of you, and that puts a genuine smile on your face. yet, don’t forget that this lifetime of yours revolves around accomplishing your goals.

🤔 major transits analysis / october 2nd

a few unpredictable, possibly painful events may occur in this period of time, as transit uranus is in your 8th house opposite your natal chiron. there could be an unexpected loss of money for example, or even death. maybe also an issue surrounding your family life, or something metaphorical. something will happen that will surely change your view of things and will help you have a major transformation.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. you just have to believe in your power!

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

[lablass-2882]

How the Akuma Class handles Social Distancing. Part 2 of idk...

Part 2 is up and ready to roll.  I’m thinking of continuing this AU but in a very disjointed way. I kinda want to talk about different families and plot points that occur during the pandemic.  I probably won’t write a complete fic about this but I will post a bunch of plot bunnies that occur during the story.  Either way; enjoy my rambles. 

Juleka/Luka: Worried to the max but doing alright. Juleka was extremely worried about Rose even before she got sick. Luka tried to help his sister through his music but positive vibes and melodies along go so far.  In the beginning, their mother was against the mandate, but as the number of cases grew, she slowly came to her senses.  Juleka and Luka had the houseboat covered.  They set up a quarantined zone to place shoes and dirty laundry.  Luka made a schedule for dishes, wash, and food. Juleka made sure to stoke up on medicine for just in case.  Emergency contacts were made and a list of possible exposure sites was written down for worse case scenarios.  When Rose ended up sick, Juleka was furious. Rose is her light thought this mess and Lila got her sick during one of her stunts.  If Luka hadn’t been there to calm her down, there would have been an incident.  Ounce Rose is sick Juleka spends hours with her on the phone, sharing pictures, trading stories and I love you.  Meanwhile, Luka’s protective big brother senses go into overdrive. He becomes whirlwind of productivity.  Even Marinette is impressed with how much work he gets done.  The houseboat is spotless, the laundry is folded, Juleka is tucked into bed and his mother receives a stern talking to from her son. By the end of the mandate, a lot of people have a newfound respect for the teenager.

Chloe: She’s trying okay.  Chloe was nervous about this virus well before her class was.  Despite her looks and attitude, Chloe does pay attention to politics, the news and other facets of government.  She’ll never admit to it but she was helping her father with perpetration well before the stay-at-home mandate was declared.  She even talked her father into parts of the mandate as “securing future votes”.  She was relieved when the schools went to home school as it allowed her to slack off a little, but Sabrina put a stop to that very quickly. Stating that she needed good grades to be a future politician. Sabrina is a lot of fire behind Chloe.  When she told Chloe about Marinette’s fundraiser, Sabrina knew what the result would be.  Despite the jealously, Chloe does want to truly help Pairs.  She managers to talk both Marinette and Adrien into helping with her fundraiser for the local food bank.  She’s even guest-starred on a few of Marinette’s sewing streams as a fashion model (from the safety of their own homes of course.) and like Adrien, she has visited some of the harder-hit areas. She even made a new friend while visiting one of the hospitals.  The bossy but dutifully head nurse. Chloe liked her Moxy.  

Sabrina: Is helping where she can, mostly with Chloe but it counts.  Like Chloe, Sabrina knew in advance what was happening around the world and how it would affect Pair.  Her father even drilled her on pandemic plans before the outbreak.  She also made sure to keep Chloe up to date on current events. When school shut down, Sabrina was worried but confident that Pair had a plan.  She had issues with Chloe and her school work, but that child’s play to her real plan. Her new goal is to help her father in any way possible. Local food bank low on supplies? One call Chloe that name drops Marinette’s furnished and boom money raised.  Hospitals overrun with rude patients? A text Alya and her lady-blog fixed that right away. People in need of positive messages? Luka and Kitty- Selection are more than excited about doing a zoom concert.  You got a problem; Sabrina's got a plan to help.  Maybe Chloe’s confidence is rubbing off on her.  

Nathaniel and Marc: They are both doing fine.  The stay at home mandate is like a god sent to an artist.  Nat starts a vlog with Marc over their comic and art. They also chip in to help Marinette with her website.  Nat post daily art projects and even some how to draw videos; while Marc posts a lot of uplifting poetry and sayings.  They are both worried sick about Rose and send her hand made cards through-out the whole thing.  When Chloe asks them to help with her fundraiser, they were cautious, but Marinette reassured them that she is trying.  They end up selling some custom artwork and other commission items, along with design the website it was hosted on.  Chloe is thankful that they trusted her.

Max: He’s fine. Worried about school but fine.  He has plenty of video games, podcasts, and coding to catch up on. He still helps out with the classes endeavors and internally he’s worried about his grades and the effect this mandate will have on the school year. His parents later suggest that he starts a tutoring site to help his classmates out.  It becomes a big success. By the end of the pandemic, Max’s tutor site is listed among the best tutor sites in Paris.  His classmates even get in on it.  Max does a lot of the math and science portions; Alix helps with history; Ivan, Mylene, and Luka teach music, and the art club does fun drawing videos. Max is upset about missing the latter half of the school year but happy he could do his part.

Kim: Is doing horribly.  The boy can’t go outside let alone run around.  Staying inside is doing a number on the poor boy.  Kim’s parents are rather strict about screen time, so video games are a touchy subject.  Max tries to help with homework, but Kim still struggles.  After a late-night call with Max’s parents, Kim’s parents try a different approach. They thankfully have enough room to set up a small basketball court in the basement. The goal is to let Kim release his pent-up energy before trying school work.  They also try more mediation and board games to promote relaxing family time.  It slowly working.

Alix: Is hating every second of the mandate.  She stuck at home with her dad and older brother.  The number of augments within the first week alone could rival the Cesaire family easily.  Max’s tutor site helps out a bit.  It gives Alix and her father something to talk about, but it’s still a minefield with her brother.  Alix tries to relax with some sport-videos and joins her class in the different fundraisers but the isolation still takes its toll. Mylene suggests the mediation that Marinette posted and they help a bit.  Although it’s a daily fight over who surviving this pandemic better. It's not helped by her older brother being her older brother and his half-assed attempts at teenage slang.  

Ivan: He sleeps a lot, reads a lot and plays music a lot. Enough said.  As long as he doesn’t have to do a ton of homework, he’s okay.  He misses his girlfriend sure, but he’s not too worked up over the stay-at-home mandate. As long as he has weekly chats to make sure Mylene he’s doing good. He later helps out with Max’s tutor site, but he’s not putting in more effort then he needs to. Let the boy catch up on his sleep.

Mylene: She is also helping where she can. Mylene is an active child.  One who loves to help and be a part of a group.  Unfortunately, she can’t be a part of a traditional group under the stay-at-home mandate. So, she works with what she as.  She starts posting gardening tips; explains the langue of flowers on charity streams; tries to help Rose out with Lila’s scheme, but that gets veto by her parents rather quickly.  Especially after Rose gets sick. She later joins Marinette and her family’s box-lunch program for the local nurses. Turns out she has a ton of soup recipes and the time to try them all out.

To da! Part 2 is done and part 3 will be up in a few days. I am not a fast typer, so part 3 might take some time.  Second verse is same as the first.  This Au is based off of how America is handling the pandemic, feel free to add in plot bunnies or other interesting idea.  If you want me to tag you in stuff let me know.  

Remember to stay safe, wash your hand,respect people’s wishes, etc.  Enjoy. 

@ mysticsoulgirl

[nocturnals-anonymous]

The absolute rage expressed in this piece borders on the righteously murderous. I would wager it’s a sentiment shared by at least 70,000,000 Americans. This mom is angry and tells it like it is:

I was born at the end of Gen X and the beginning of the Millennial Generation, and grew up in a middle class town. Life was good. Our home was modest but birthdays and Christmas were always generous, we went on yearly vacations, had 2 cars, and there was enough money for me to take dance classes and art lessons and be in Girl Scouts.

My 1940s born Dad raised me to be patriotic and proud, to love the war bird airplanes of his era as much as he does, and to respect our flag and our country as a sacred thing. I grew up thinking that being an American was the greatest gift a person could have. I grew up thinking that our country was as strong, and honest and true as my Dad. I grew up thinking I was free.

As an adult, I have witnessed the world I grew up in fall to ruin. I have watched as our currency and our economy have been shamelessly corrupted beyond redemption. Since we’ve been married, my husband and I TWICE had our meager investment savings gutted by the market that we were told to invest in, now that pensions no longer exist and we working stiffs are on our own. We will be working until we die, because the Social Security we’ve been forced to pay into has also been robbed from under us.

I have watched as our elected officials enter Congress as ordinary folks and leaves as multi millionaires. I have watched my blue collar husband get up at an ungodly hour every day and come home with an aching back that we pray will hold out long enough to get him to old age in one piece. Outside of shoes, socks and underwear, almost everything my family wears was bought used. We’ve been on one vacation in 12 years.

We don’t have cell phones, or cable, or any sort of streaming services, just a landline and internet. We hardly ever eat out. Our house is 1400 square feet, no air conditioning. I cook from scratch and I can and I garden and I raise chickens for eggs and meat and I moonlight selling things on Etsy. Still it is barely enough to pay the bills that go up every year while service quality and the longevity of goods goes down. What I just described is the life you can live on 60K a year without going into debt.

At last calculation, when you consider all of the federal, state and local taxes plus registration and user fees, Medicare and SS payroll taxes, almost a third of what my family earns is stolen by the govt each year. What’s left doesn’t go far, just enough to cover the basics and save a little for when the wolf howls at the door.

I watched as my family’s health insurance was gutted and destroyed. Our private market insurance, which we had to have because my husband’s employer is too small to have a group plan, was made illegal. We were left with the option of either buying an Obamacare plan with unaffordable deductibles and insanely ridiculous out of pocket maxes, or paying the very gov’t that destroyed our healthcare a fine for not buying the gov’t mandated plan that we cannot afford. We now have short term insurance that isn’t really insurance at all, and I live in fear of one of us getting injured or sick with anything I can’t fix from the medicine cabinet.

I have watched as education, which was already sketchy when I was a kid, became an all out joke of wholly unmathematical math, gold stars for all, and self-loathing anti-Americanism. My family has taken an enormous financial hit as I stay home to home school our child. At least she’ll be able to do old-fashioned math well enough to see how much they are screwing her. A silver lining to every cloud, I guess.

I’ve sat by and held my tongue as I was called deplorable and a bitter clinger and told that I didn’t build that. I’ve been called a racist and a xenophobe and a chump and even an “ugly folk.” I’ve been told that I have privilege, and that I have inherent bias because of my skin color, and that my beloved husband and father are part of a horrible patriarchy. Not one goddamn bit of that is true, but if I dare say anything about it, it will be used as evidence of my racism and white fragility.

Raised to be a Republican, I held my nose and voted for Bush, the Texas-talking blue blood from Connecticut who lied us into 2 wars and gave us the unpatriotic Patriot Act. I voted for McCain, the sociopathic neocon songbird “hero” that torpedoed the attempt to kill the Obamacare that’s killing my family financially. I held it again and voted for Romney, the vulture capitalist skunk that masquerades as a Republican while slithering over to the Democrat camp as often as they’ll tolerate his oily, loathsome presence.

And I voted for Trump, who, if he did nothing else, at least gave a resounding Bronx cheer to the richly deserving smug hypocrites of DC. Thank you for that Mr. President, on behalf of all of us nobodies. God bless you for it.

And now I have watched as people who hate me and mine and call for our destruction blatantly and openly stole the election and then gaslighted us and told us that it was honest and fair. I am watching as the GOP does NOTHING about it. They’re probably relieved that upstart Trump is gone so they can get back to their real jobs of lining their pockets and running interference for their corporate masters. I am watching as the media, in a manner that would make Stalin blush, is silencing anyone who dares question the legitimacy of this farce they call democracy. I know, it’s a republic, but I am so tired of explaining that to people I might as well give in and join them in ignorance.

I will not vote again; they’ve made it abundantly clear that my voice doesn’t matter. Whatever irrational, suicidal lunacy the nanny states thinks is best is what I’ll get. What it decided I need is a geriatric pedophile who shouldn’t be charged with anything more rigorous than choosing between tapioca and rice pudding at the old folks home, and a casting couch skank who rails against racism while being a descendant of slave owners.

I’m free to dismember a baby in my womb and kill it because “my body my choice”, but God help me if I won’t cover my face with a germ laden Linus-worthy security blanket or refuse let them inject genetically altering chemicals into my body or my child’s. I can be doxed, fired, shunned and destroyed for daring to venture that there are only 2 genders as proven by DNA, but a disease with a 99+% survival rate for most humans is a deadly pandemic worth murdering an economy over. Because science. Idiocracy is real, and we are living it. Dr. Lexus would be an improvement over Fauci.

I am done. Don’t ask me to pledge to the flag, or salute the troops, or shoot fireworks on the 4th. It’s a sick, twisted, heartbreaking joke, this bloated, unrecognizable corpse of a republic that once was ours.

I am not alone. Not sure how things continue to function when millions of citizens no longer feel any loyalty to or from the society they live in.

I was raised to be a lady, and ladies don’t curse, but fuck these motherfuckers to hell and back for what they’ve done to me, and mine, and my country. All we Joe Blow Americans ever wanted was a little patch of land to raise a family, a job to pay the bills, and at least some illusion of freedom, and even that was too much for these human parasites. They want it all, mind, body and soul. Damn them. Damn them all.

[withastolenlantern]

The late morning sun peeked between the Center City towers to the south, breaking through the smog haze emanating from the drone freighters parked at the port. The streets of Rhawnhurst were already abuzz with life; she passed the barbershop and Señor Rodriguez’s dry cleaners and old Madam Tupolov begging for change outside the automat café as she walked down Bustleton Avenue toward the intersection with Cottman, taking the long route to school. Not that anyone would notice that she was late, or ditched entirely; it would be hard to make out any individual student in classes that ranged up toward fifty students. The public schools were still drastically underfunded with an urban tax base that was quickly dwindling. They said on the holo that the state had threatened to bring in another private contractor to run them, but they’d tried at least twice before to little avail, and what would they pay them with? The Delaware had flooded three out of the last five years, each time cresting to a new record and washing out more homes along its banks and tributaries. Turquoise had overheard her mother and aunt whispering about property values, and she knew that in some way that was tied to school funding. 

A drone truck cut the corner at Cottman trying to make the light, clipping the curb and sending a splash of sewage run off spraying up on the cracked sidewalk. “Watch where you’re going!” she screamed in vain as she dodged out of the way, knowing full well it couldn’t hear her. “Piece of shit truck.” She wiped the water from her coat, a dark purple hand-me-down from her sister Destiny, and flipped off the truck as the cross-walk indicator turned. Her shoes, worn with age, were soaked through to her ratty socks, and now made squishing sounds as she walked.

Turquoise hated school, but she’d made a deal with her mother that she’d keep going, to her science and math classes anyway, and when she finished her homework she could go down to Mister Krystkiewicz’s studio in the basement. Mama stressed that she needed to focus on her education, that it was the only way she’d ever make her way out of here. But the universities were just as packed as the public schools; her counselor had told her there were ten applicants for every seat, even at the community colleges, and her grades weren’t good enough to qualify for a scholarship. Her mother worked three swing shift jobs just to keep food on the table, and even then they were all crammed into a two-bedroom apart they shared with her aunt’s three children. There was no way any of them could afford any kind of higher schooling, but Turquoise had never had any interest anyway: she was born to be an artist, she was sure, no matter how impractical that might be in the current age. Kris, as she shortened her neighbor’s borderline-unpronounceable eastern European surname, had told her numerous times she had promise, and some days that was the only thing that kept her going. At fifteen, her life was approaching a turning point, where adulthood would quickly become a pressing reality, and with it the requirement to find some way to provide for herself or become one of the hundred million Americans living below the poverty line.

Her grandmother had been the one to inspire her; her mother agreed, but would likely prefer the term “blame.” Dolores Quinlan had been a woman out of time, before her lungs had given out, a remnant of an era of opportunity. She would take Turquoise and her sister to the art museum once a month on the free Sundays, and afterward she would walk the girls down Fairmount Avenue for ice cream, making sure to point out the large mural of Irene Brevis, even then still mentioned with the reverence of hushed tones. The elderly woman, an idealistic academic in a world rapidly devolving towards the brutally pragmatic, did her best to instill in her granddaughters an appreciation for the abstract and intangible. Turquoise delighted in the visits, drinking in the history and the artistry in equal amounts. The sculpture gallery was her favorite; she loved to walk underneath the dangling installation chimes of Ole Sted as they glittered and whistled in the ambient breeze. One day she hoped to work in a similar medium, and Kris had dug up an old MIG weld unit for her to practice on tin cans and other sheet metal she collected from the building recycling dumpster. Her mother was skeptical but supportive, and mostly concerned that she didn’t burn down the only building she could afford to house them.

As she rounded the corner onto Cottman, she noticed the same drone that had nearly hit her driving erratically and squealing to a stop at the next stoplight. Catching up to it, she looked through the window, and noticed that this particular truck was being piloted by an actual person. It was peculiar to see, but not altogether strange; she knew some trucks carried armed security to protect valuable cargo or oversee important deliveries. The man in the truck was not wearing a Union uniform, though, and he had what appeared to be a bandana wrapped around his nose and mouth. He was sweating, even through the air conditioning of the truck, and pounding on the steering wheel as if to will the traffic light to change.

In the distance, she heard sirens wail, and as she turned to look, the engine of the truck roared to life as it flew forward into the intersection, through the red light. Horns blared as the cars in the cross-traffic swerved to avoid it, and with a loud thud a sedan collided full-speed with the back corner of the truck, sending both vehicles spiraling through the intersection. 

The sedan barreled toward Turquoise. She screamed, more instinct than conscious fear, and dropped her school bag to the pavement, ducking into a squat as if that might offer any protection. The car crashed head-on into the support pole for the traffic light, the metal and plastic bending and buckling with a terrible groan as a shower of sparks flew to the ground. The front end crumpled to a heap, and she heard the loud pop of airbags deploying from within the passenger compartment. A dark black smoke belched and hissed from under the crushed bonnet cover. 

Turquoise was disoriented; her ears rang from the sounds and her head spun as she tried to stand back up. She stood before bending reflexively at the waist, and steadied herself by leaning against the now-bent light pole. Her vision was blurred, likely from shock, and she felt slightly nauseous, probably just as much from the stench of the car’s burned electronics as the adrenaline flooding her system.

She heard a low moan from the passenger of the sedan. Turquoise breathed deep and cautiously tip-toed around to the side of the car, peering through the shattered window. It was a woman, slight and not much older than herself. She was dressed in business clothes, a blazer and slacks, and blood caked her white blouse. Her head was supported by the deployed airbag, its cushion now stained with a mixture of blood and makeup. She wasn’t moving, and her breathing was heavy and laborious. Turquoise shook her shoulder gently. “Ma’am? Are you okay?”

The woman screamed, high and shrill. Turquoise jumped back, startled. “Are you okay?” she asked again. “Here, let’s get you out.”

The woman’s screams turned to sobs. She was clearly still in shock from the crash. Turquoise tugged at the door, trying to free the woman from the car, but it was stuck. She pulled again at the handle, harder this time, and it gave way; the door came free from the broken hinges at the frame and slammed to the pavement with a heavy clang. There was blood everywhere. The woman’s leg was pinned below the now-crushed console; a long jagged piece of the bent door frame was jammed deep into her calf muscle. She continued to cry, deep painful gasps. “I think my leg is broken,” she mewed through the sobs.

“Stay here. I’ll get help,” Turquoise said, summoning a calmness to her voice that masked her internal panic. She turned away from the car toward the rest of the chaos. Across the intersection the truck had spun a half-rotation and bounced off a fire hydrant before slamming sideways into the glass facade of a storefront. The hydrant rocket into the air, a geyser of pressurized water throwing the cast iron fixture high into the sky only to come crashing onto the roof of a parked car, its bleating alarm now adding to the cacophany of the scene. 

Turquoise walked slowly across the street, taking care to avoid the shards of broken glass that now littered the intersection. Traffic had come to a stop, and people were slowly getting out of their cars to assess the scene. A man on a mobile had a holo open, and it looked like he was coordinating with an emergency dispatcher. She approached the truck quietly, and the door to the passenger compartment flew open, the driver spilling down into a heap on the sidewalk the sidewalk. His shirt was torn slightly, but he seemed mostly unharmed apart from a cut across his forehead. He quickly bolted upright and clutched his arm gingerly while he looked around, confused. She tried to ask him if he needed help, but as she got close he took off, sprinting toward an alleyway behind the ruined storefront. 

“Hey! Hey asshole, get back here!” she yelled after him, giving chase, but after a few steps she thought better of it and let him go. She’d gotten a good look at him, and the police were sure to want her statement when they arrived.

A bang behind her caused her already quickened pulse to skyrocket. She turned around and found that the loading door at the rear of the truck had sprung open in the crash, and was swaying in the early morning breeze, clanging against the side of the building. Boxes and crates had spilled out of it and were scattered across the sidewalk, and several people were now gathered around, gawking at the contents.

Turquoise joined them. Several of the crates had broken up, and her eyes quickly went wide in terror. She immediately recognized what she saw from the nightly news feeds; one didn’t grow up in one of America’s most violent cities without knowing a gun when they saw it. But these weren’t the small handguns she’d seen tucked into the waistbands of wanna-be thugs and bangers; these were large and heavy, with polished chrome finishing that glinted in the morning sun. There were five to a crate, and she counted at least ten more crates. 

Inside the truck were more, and things she couldn’t name but looked just as dangerous. Large tubes with switches and holo-projectors were scattered on the floor. A dozen or so heavy-looking vests were piled in a cardboard box; a large, inactive drone was parked on the bed, but not the type of delivery or advertising drones she’d seen before. This one was sharp, angular, and with much bigger rotors. It had small stanchions to either side where large, multi-barreled guns were mounted. It was painted matte black with cartoon shark teeth along the front edge. 

And in the far back of the cargo area, near to the passenger compartment, sat a large plastic vat. It had various tubes connected between it and some kind of controller that sat next to it. The apparatus hummed quietly, but ominously. Turquoise wasn’t sure what she was looking at, but she knew it couldn’t be good.     

Sirens wailed in the distance, and she was never so glad to hear them.

[studyblr-ish]

I’m definitely not okay. I’m mad at myself. Not disappointed, just mad. Mad because I wanted to go to uni so bad, but because of my bad decisions, I’m ruining the experience. Now, I know there’s no rush to get a degree - to a certain extent -, the problem is that I’m afraid of making another bad decision and I just wish I had thought more carefully the first time, because that year gave almost nothing. Or at least, I wish I had chosen better the second time.

Changing wasn’t a mistake, the mistake was the second path I chose. That’s why I have a big conflict. I can go back, but I won’t be content there and I still have three years to go I really wish I had thought about it better the first time. I came back with so much energy, so much enthusiasm… And at least I’d know if I’d like that or not. It’s easier to change from science to art/humanities than the other way around, but I did the contrary. It’s tough because in humanities I barely did anything, so I lost the way of working that I had in high school. So? It’s hard because you have to start to work again after a year of leisure. And here comes one of the problems. I didn’t change because of the content (there was barely anything lmao) but because I was doing anything, and I’m paying tuition to learn. This year was better because I was learning and working, but it wasn’t my subject (it was Biology-related and I dropped Biology in senior year lmao that wasn’t very smart of me). But I liked Maths and Stadistics this year. And in senior year in hs I dropped Biology and took up Physics, which I loved, and I never regretted that decision. And I managed with maths. I didn’t take computing because I was in French class, but I think I would’ve liked it. I liked the little I learnt some years before.

So I’m thinking of changing to Computer Science. Now, I’m scared of not liking it. It’s almost as if I had increased the difficulty year by year - which I hate, because I was ready in the first year; it would’ve made thing so much easier. The most sensible option, though, would be to finish Translation and then do something else. But I hate not feeling satisfied with my degree and joining lots of extracurricular activities because of that. Again, it’s not that I don’t like the content, it’s that I don’t have to think the way I like to. But I have my doubts as well. Last year I juggled with the idea of staying in Translation and doing something else at the same time (but I hate doing that because of insatisfaction), but left because I didn’t want to feel like that for three years. I swear I tried to enroll in second year, but something stopped me. The problem was that I felt like that throughout the year, but when I went to class I felt a bit better. In that moment, I was desperate once again. I enrolled just in case , and I also applied for Environmental Sciences (the mistake). I must say I applied for that because that’s what I had been looking at to study at the same time as Translation. Definitely should’ve looked at it more carefully after making the decision that I would apply for something full-time.

I was accepted, but I had to cancel my enrollment in Translation. I wasn’t sure and I actually felt guilty and regretful after doing it. And I also felt quite motivated to keep stuying translation after being in Nice for three weeks.

Once during the year I went to a French class given by my favourite teacher. I explained things briefly to her and she told me I felt like that because I already had the base level, and she felt sorry because she thought I had so much potencial - seeing me in class it seemed as if that was my degree, in words of a former classmate. In that moment I started to doubt again. She asked me if I thought of finishing Translation sometime in the future. I didn’t plan to, albeit I wouldn’t object to, but I know my second degree would be either Desing or Psychology. Nonetheless, I said yes. I kept doubting at the beginning of the class, but at the end I was glad I dropped out of Translation. I was certain I would’ve felt like I wasn’t doing anything (that doesn’t mean the class wasn’t good. She was one of my favourite teachers for a reason). At the beginning of the second term I started to feel strange in Environmental Sciences, like I didn’t belong there. So I started to juggle with the idea of going back to Translation - I may have felt insatisfied, but I didn’t have that feeling of strangeness (?). I hadn’t thought of going back until that point because I was feeling much better.

I felt sorry because I bonded better with people in ES than in Translation and I felt more satisfied with ES because I had to work. I don’t know if I would’ve felt like that if I hadn’t studied Translation first. Or maybe it’s just that it’s too Biology-related. That’s why I’m scared of applying for Computer Science. Will I feel comfortable (without taking into account the hard work, of course)?

I won’t be unhappy in Translation. It’s hard to be unhappy there, in my case (I know someone who has such a bad time with French…), but I’d feel insatisfied. Or maybe that’s how I feel rn. If I hadn’t changed my studies, I wouldn’t have thought of it again (Important note: I have a scholarship. I can change in my first year of studies, which I did, and I can go back to Translation and still receive it. I can’t go into my second year and change my studies afterwards. I mean, I can, but I wouldn’t receive the scholarship.) And I was making professional progress in Translation, which makes me doubt even more. If I finish Translation, I have a secure future and then I can do whatever I like. That’s why I think it’s the most sensible thing to do. But it makes me mad. I know I wanted a second degree, but on something that I like just because, and I wouldn’t mind earning it at 40. If at least I could get into art throught this degree.. but I can’t.

I’m a woman of science and art, not letters. I’ve also thought of taking a gap year, which I should’ve taken before.

Anyway, knowing what the wise option was (if I was to keep studying next year), I asked for my place in second year. But again, I couldn’t bring myself to enroll. Now the time is gone. I could ask the 26th August to have my record open again, but I wish they refuse to, so I can take the gap year without guilt. I really wish the refuse to, so during my gap year I can start to study Computer Science at the online university and see if I like it or not, and then make a more sensible decision. I really wish they refuse to.

[xtrafreelancers-blog]

Why 'Follow Your Passion' Is Bad Advice for Freelancers

Freelancing isn't a hobby. It's a way to pay the bills, and you need practical skills that are in demand.

Growing up, I often heard the idealistic advice to just "Find your passion and be yourself!" This is a beautiful lie that ends up torturing many freelancers.

I found out the hard way that we should, by all means, pursue our passions, but that they may not pay the bills. Being poor isn't much fun. Neither is living purely for money and doing something you hate. As with many things in life, we must find the middle path.

A Square Peg Trying to Fit in a Round Hole

In my school years, my father pushed me to study math and science. He wanted me to be an engineer with the logic that, "Whether the economy is good or bad, there's always going to be something that needs fixing."

My attentions and fancies kept straying towards the arts throughout high school, but I relented and let him push me into engineering school where I struggled and flailed. Eventually, I quit and ended up getting an arts degree.

It was the mid-1990s, and companies were starting to want to have websites. I started doing freelance web design work and managed to leverage my "portfolio" to land a job at a software startup. While I had disappointed my father by flunking out from engineering, I had somewhat redeemed myself by gaining employment in a tech company immediately after graduation.

Being Overly Idealistic

I naively assumed I had found my dream job where I could work on my passions to my heart's content. I railed against anyone who disagreed with my design choices and arrogantly strutted around, knowing that I had it all figured out.

Not only that, but I blissfully skipped out of the office each day at 6 PM to pursue extracurricular passions. Meanwhile, my colleagues soldiered on into the night and often came in on the weekends too.

My self-delusion came crashing down when they fired me. Looking back, they had been overly generous giving me six months there. They should have gotten rid of me earlier, but they kept giving me chances to redeem myself that I blindly steamrollered over again and again.

Forgetting Myself

Brought to my knees by being overly idealistic, I snapped and made a 180-degree change, becoming entirely mercenary and money-crazed. This lead me to bounce around different companies and even starting several ventures. None of it, however, stuck because they weren't in line with my interests.

However, over time, patterns began to emerge and I was able to see what kinds of work suited me. It was easy in hindsight to see what got me into a state of flow, and what felt like ice-skating uphill. Part of this was realizing that I preferred independence rather than being a full-time employee. Indeed, the ‘security’ that the latter offers is just a mirage, but I digress.

Finding My Niche

About ten years ago, I made a full circle and came back to marketing. However, having no formal track record in it, I had to be self-taught and gain experience. This was the beginning of my freelance career.

Working on different gigs taught me how vast the field of marketing is, and I found the parts of it that I did well. I also learned the hard way how to ensure that clients had a realistic expectation of what I could and couldn't do.

I now work doing something that suits me. It does connect with a lot of my passions, but rather than say I'm "Following my passions," I'd say that I've found work that is a good fit. I feel good doing it, and my clients feel looked after.

What is Passion, Really?

The word passion comes from the Latin word "passeo," which means to suffer. When we are passionate about something, we are willing to suffer for it. It almost seems like there is a requisite amount of suffering that the universe requires, hence the concept of "paying one's dues."

Later, because of the investment we have made, it can be difficult to let go of the commitment. However, just like any investment, sometimes we have to cut our losses and learn from them. This applies to clients whom we are passionate about serving, but who don't appreciate the work we do for them.

Having a "Growth" Perspective

Telling people to "find their passion" can be harmful. We may stubbornly stick to what we perceive to be "passion" out of fear and switching gears when required may feel impossible. If we invest everything we have — all our time, energy, and emotional reserves — into a single pursuit, it can cause us to drop it when the load gets too heavy.

Instead, it's healthier to see passion as a malleable quality that can be cultivated, which makes us more open and more resilient. This thinking leads us to express greater interest in new areas, to expect that pursuing interests will be challenging, and to maintain enthusiasm in the face of resistance.

We need to be more flexible and willing to let go of our fear of failure. Don't let a rigid idea of success was hold us back. Rather than needing to follow a neatly defined career trajectory, we can use our skills in new areas of interest. A growth mindset helps us face challenges with curiosity and allowing ourselves to see difficulties as building blocks for further cultivating our talents.

Conclusion

With the world changing as fast as it is, we cannot afford to get stuck in a rut by believing that we are only cut out to do one thing. To grow requires staying detached, being open to new opportunities, and observing to find what fits our nature.

________________

Written by DLKR

Cover photo by Blake Barlow on Unsplash + edits

[kblogsuniverse-blog]

Education?

As a child life is good. No stressed, problems or life changing choices to be made. You go to school, study English, Maths, Topic and Music and once you have finished your day you go home to either play outside or stay inside. Same old every day. No bills, exams or jobs.

The moment you move in to year 9 it all changes, school enters a stressful time to prepare for your exams which do not start for 3 years, if you don’t have high target grades you are moved to the bottom of the pile and only “smart” students are given the full 100% package deal. I have never personally been a particularly academic subject; I excel in subjects like catering or design tech and this really did show on my Grade sheet. I came out with a 5 in maths, 5:5 in science and a 6 in catering. I straight away felt so down or even depressed as I thought I did well in my exams but now I must live the rest of my life with these failed subjects.

I did study and work hard during my exams but me and many other students let ourselves down at exams and do not have the confidence to show our full potential in exams. I personally struggle with exam stress. I know the answers and I know I do, but the moment I get into my exam my brain turns off. I am by no means stupid but because the numbers on the sheet don’t show it, I must struggle my way to do what I would like to do.

September came and I started in my local sixth form college, I already got denied entry into my preferred subjects so had to settle with Health and Social, Food, Science and nutrition and Geography which all were Btec subjects. I did what I had to do to get through the school day, I turned up to my lessons, volunteered my answers and remembered the information I was expected to regurgitate into my exams. I would then go home, do my homework and work on my coursework which involved a lot of reading studies and reports to complete.

By November I was in a terrible place with my mental health, I was doing well in my subjects, but it was not what I wanted to do, and I really hated going in to sixth form every day. I decided to drop out of sixth form and got a job in a local pub as a pot wash working at a rate of £4.20 an hour. I managed to get myself a place on an apprenticeship in mechanical engineering. I was really enjoying the studying and I was very happy to go home and research about what I had learned in my class. The tutors were great, the learning style worked with me and I looked forward to starting work after completing my level 1 NVQ. I was the first student in my intake to secure myself a job, it was in a small local press shop where the boss was willing to teach me how to use a new machine in the workshop that nobody else had been educated on. I was so excited to start until it came to my start date. I rolled out of bed an hour before I had to leave, showered ate some food and changed into my uniform. The day was great so far and I was looking forward to starting my lifetime profession. After I travelled for 45 minutes to get to work for my first day, I was greeted at the door with a surprised look, I gave one back and at this point I was utterly confused. After talking with my boss, he was waiting for my college to sort out some paperwork so I could not start yet. I went home confused and upset about how this had happened, especially considering I was the first to secure myself a place.

College did not contact me so I phoned up my tutor asking what was happening and she said that the paperwork had not been signed and I would have to start elsewhere. This was the first time in my apprenticeship I had felt down. Luckily college managed to secure me a place after a month of being behind my class in a different firm, which for the first month went well. During the month I was traveling around the UK installing air handling units. On the 24th of April while working locally I became ill and struggled to do the work as I got an infection but left it thinking it would sort itself out. I had to go to the doctors and when I went there, I got the appropriate antibiotics and was given a 10-day sick note. I was upset about not being able to get into work, but I phoned my boss and told him I was sick, had an infection and have been given a sick note. At this time college changed my day release from a Friday to a Tuesday so I was already employed the skin of my teeth as it was no longer effective or helpful having me leaving a job mid-week to go to college and I later got fired. Both the college and my mum were going on at me about tying to find other engineering employment but at this point I decided to focus on my own mental health and had to leave the college after 4 full months.

This is when the real stress started. Straight away I started seeking employment but everywhere was turning me down. I had to start paying rent at hone as my single mother was no longer getting benefits for me and the amount that was being asked, I would have to work stupid hours to cover on a wage of £4.20. I really started to struggle to do anything as I had so much money that was owed to everything, but I did not have a job. I also wanted to drive now and was also looking at going out during the summer. Currently I am starting plumbing in college in September. I know I will succeed and enjoy it as I have fixed bits around my mother’s house and enjoyed doing it. Still looking for a job and looking to work 2 jobs until September to keep on top of money.

I did not write this for empathy or your condolence, I wrote this to get my thoughts and feelings off my chest. I personally do not believe a student should be judged or compared to other students based on their GCSE grades, but should actually be judged based on their skills with people, or their ability to grasp new concepts or even someone’s eagerness to learn and excel in what they choose to do. When I do manage to work myself into the position of becoming an employer I will make sure that all of my staff are not judged by their grades at GCSE when they were 16 years old, but instead by their ability in the field of work they want to do. I would never turn down a job interview because someone hasn’t got 5 GCSE as I would always think about maybe they come from a disadvantaged family or area, poverty levels in the UK are higher than ever.

I also believe that even if a student does decide to leave their current education to put their own mental health first the person should be supported in this and offered support to find a new educational institute. No student should be willing to put themselves in a bad way to succeed in life. I personally am skilled in handyman jobs and have not struggled to do one yet. With 0 experience I have managed to build and design a decked area in my mother’s garden, change the whole water toilet water system to copper pipes and changed a shower to copper pipe with 0 experience. Grades are not the thing of the future but just a mark of the past. In the future students will be employed on their skills, creativity and ethics. I by far would rather employ someone who can complete a task over someone who has been taught to regurgitate information into an exam.

If anybody does take the time out of their day to ready this,

Thank you and I hope you succeed and become whatever you would like to in life. Always put your own mental health before anything and make sure you never let your grades get to you.