#i hate it here sooo goddamn much

[sweetshire]

So, @silv-paru sent Sherlock Holmes for the character opinion bingo. thanks a bunch for this (and for your patience. my god, i’m answering this a week late. typical me behaviour). you’re a darling :D

Did you know, i used to tell these stories to my friends? they delighted in them AND i got a chance to sort of ramble on and on abt him and watson. it was a win-win, really. ah, those were the days! now i haven’t reblogged much of him this month at all. i miss him. I MISS HIM.

Onto the bingo: well. he’s The quintessence of gender™ to me. and i relate to him so so much. fav character of all time fr. i want to carry him in my pocket at all times & study him. like. do i want to BE him OR am i IN LOVE with him, ykwim? pssh who knows? certainly not me. uh-huh ‘a beast unleashed’ -does this refer to me or him? you choose. oh re: canon, i’m ignoring the part where holmes dies (or y’know, is dead for 3 years). that’s too angsty.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"You'll never drown if you keep swimming.." very nice words to hear after the stressful ordeal of making a deal with the devil! I REALLY LOVE JAY FERIN. when shes not carrying the team in battle shes very much carrying more emotional luggage than others seem to give her credit for. im cheering for her! go girl, go get the team together!

[werewolf4vampire]

they should let me go get put into a medically induced coma for 3 months to detox like jordan peterson

[muirneach]

just unfollowed 400 people on instagram god bless

[yourlocalcryptidbee]

⭐NSFW Alphabet with Lucifer Morningstar

Good old NSFW Alphabet with our favourite duck man. Grab some snacks and a beverage, get comfy and enjoy <3

Template can be found here

~1.4k words

GN! Reader, mentions of makeup Want the SFW one? Find it here!

Content Warning: NSFW, not proof read

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s attentive to your needs. The literal king of aftercare, whatever you want he can provide. A bath? You got it. Cuddles? A snack? A walk in the garden? Hell, more sex? You got it!  

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his tongue, plain and simple. The power he has over you with it is his favourite thing. Watching how you squirm just because of this one part of him, he’s ready to blow a load just thinking about it! You on the other hand, oh he’s tied between your thighs and your chest. The way your legs shake just that little bit when he’s doing something right? Or the way your chest HEAVES after you cum? It’s too good! 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Would eat your cum breakfast, lunch and dinner if given the chance. And trust, he’s tried to do that on multiple occasions. You stop him, saying something about having a “balanced diet” whatever that means…  

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Lucifer fantasizes about you riding him during a meeting. He’s caught himself thinking about you sitting on his lap, while he’s on the throne, bouncing up and down restlessly like your soul depends on it. He’ll sit and envision what everyone else’s reaction would be, although he isn’t the biggest fan of sharing so maybe this will have to stay a fantasy…until he can learn to hold that many clones of himself that is (;

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

This man has been around since before the creation of humanity, over 10,000 years! At least 8,000 of those years having sex with either Lilith or Eve. So yes, Lucifer knows what he’s doing, and he knows he knows that he’s good at it. It’s named ‘The devil’s tango’ for a reason ya’ll. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Spooning or really anything where all of him is pressed into all of you. He just wants to hold you, whatever position that may be. He may be sexy but he is still damaged, and this is vulnerable. Just let him lay all his lovin on you ok? 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Depends heavily on the foreplay, but on average he’ll start a lil goofy and turn more serious as the act goes on. But always be ready for a wayward joke here and there. Sometimes it’s just too good to pass up! (just like how having sex with you is too good to pass up)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s kept himself surprisingly well-groomed after his seven-year isolation. It’s trim and orderly the first time you see it, though it doesn’t matter that much because it’s such a pale blonde, that it’s basically invisible.  

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

My God, this man is bursting at the seams with love for you. His heart swells so much that it starts to hurt when he thinks about how he gets to participate in such a vulnerable and personal thing like sex with you. The most hated being in creation and you willing run into his trap, arms open and ready to envelop him in pleasure. Even if you can’t see it in his face or his words during the moment, he is always just so thankful that you could love him like this. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

At least once a day. He can’t help himself, plus he doesn’t have much going on most days sooo why not? No one’s stopping him, well you might but that's just cause you would rather help him than let him do it on his own.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It is Lucifer, he’s got the words ‘corruption kink’ written on his goddamn head. (attached to the neck or the shaft, dealer’s choice) Like dirty talk is a lot of ‘What would your Father Even think of you now? On your knees for me? Hm? Darling, I can’t hear you~’. They want him to be the antichrist? Fine. Spread your legs and give him until the sun rises and he’ll show just how cruel he can be. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His Throne, it’s the one place where he knows that no other person could even sit, let alone have sex on. This is the Sin of Pride, of course, his favourite place is centred around his power. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you call him yours, my king, my love, my slut. The little choice in wording that shows that you understand just how much of his heart you own, and that is all of it by the way. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While you’ve never done this because you understand, it turns him off real quick if you bring up his past love, Lilith. They’ve been divorced for years and he’s moved on but still, it rubs him the wrong way if you were to ask if ‘Lilith could fuck you like this, if she could love you like this or make you moan the way I do?’ Just No.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

10s 10s 10s all across the board! 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Again, depends on the foreplay but also how his depression is. If he is slipping into or is in another episode than its all sweet nothings, slow and romantic. If not than he’s more willing to go as fast as your body can handle. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Lucifer rathers to not have quickies but it happens. To him, it feels like he can’t make sure that you’re both getting what you want and he’d rather sell his soul to Alastor than leave you unsatisfied because of a goddamn time constraint. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He may be skeptical but he’ll try it. You got to try to know if you’ll like it. Plus you got quite the funny story from failed attempts at some things but that's part of the fun aint it?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s the Devil from the Bible! Lucifer is quite literally otherworldly, his stamina doesn’t run out, it’s allllllll on how long you hold on for, baby. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not the biggest fan of toys but if your adamant, he’ll give them a go again. Although ropes will always be on the table for him (;

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A constant tease! All day, every day honey. He thrives when teasing you but as soon as the tables turn he is melting like that! That being said, he’s learnt to be careful with how much he teases you, least he want a repeat of that day at that gala, and seeing as Ozzie still makes fun of him for it, he’d rather not. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His bedroom is soundproof. That’s explanation enough.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves it when you leave markings on him, scratches, bites, hickeys or d) all of the above. Don’t get him started on when your lipstick stains his face or clothes. Minimum 30% of all of his shirts have a crisp kiss mark on the collar and Lucifer wouldn’t have it any other way.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Matches the rest of him pretty well, on the thin side as well as a blinding white colour while hitting a comfortable 7.8 inches. He knows exactly how to use it too. No wonder Lilith felt like That Bitch. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Need it being said? His sex drives rivals that of Angel Dust. Don’t start something you can’t finish.  

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If the two of you aren’t cuddling then he doesn’t fall asleep until it’s almost sunrise. If you do snuggle up on him then it’s lights out real quick. That mix of sex, your shampoo and your body against his is his ultimate melatonin. 

[macsimagines]

Hello again dearest! I hope you’ve been doing well and that life has been treating you kindly ♡

With my second and third Uni midterms looming over me, I would like to request Yan! Izana, Ran, & Shin with a foreign darling~ One who is an international university student in Japan on a student visa

And if it’s not too long, I’d like a follow up of their darling taking them to visit their home country for the holidays since the Yan’s can’t bear to be apart from their darling especially when they would be overseas alone without them ♡♡

I've actually had foreign japanese students at my old school and uni though we weren't' close wish i couldve interacted more and maybe learned something from them hah

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, BABY TRAPPING, SCUM BAG BEHAVIOR

Yandere! Izana Kurokawa

He was attracted to you right away, not even romantically or physically, just having been of mixed decent and then seeing someone who might relate to his own experiences interested him.

Became very romantically interested after a few interactions however, you had such a fresh perspective as a foreigner and some of the things he's had to live through seemed to resonate with you.

"Your step-mom was straightup evil. No kid should have to go through that, and I hope your kingdom is as beautiful as you make it out to be."

Hooked for life right away. And also distraught at the thought of you leaving, would constantly try to convince you to get a citizenship and just live here forever with him.

"Why even go back if I'm here?" Is one thousand percent serious, you've become such a huge part of his entire being so it must be the same for you right?

When you convince him to come with you on holiday home to meet your family though, something changes. You don't have to stay in Japan, you just have to stay with him.

As long as you're together than everything will work out. It wasn't like you could so much as leave his place without him being glued to your hip, good luck getting out of the country without him tagging along.

Yandere! Ran Haitani

He is sooo enamored by you. Fetishizing people because of their race is so goddamn gross but the fact that you're foreign definitely is what attracts him to you to begin with.

Ran is so toxic with it to. Calls you exotic like its some kind of compliment, tells you you're accent is soooo cute when you're doing your best to sound natural, makes fun of you for every mispronunciation.

But you don't know anyone in Japan and he's 6'1 so you put up with it. He's just so tall and pretty and he knows all the best spots in roppongi so of course you choose to suck it up.

Afterall, its not like it's forever. He's just your heavy and hot fling that you can go home and brag to your friends about, right? Wrong. He's sprung bitch and you're stuck with him.

"Hey, when are we going to your neck of the woods for this holiday?" "...We?" "Ya, I gotta pack and get my ticket soon, right?"

Hope you're ready to disappoint your folks now that you're bringing home this freak show. Don't forget his dream is to become a foreign celebrity so he wants to experience it all when he visits with you.

"Man, this trip is so much fun. I can't wait for next year."

Yandere!Shinichiro Sano

Worships you. He can't spit game for shit, but thankfully you don't understand him too well to begin with. It's a match made in heaven!

He doesn't make fun of you when you get your words wrong or fumble a sentence, but he does think its so cute. Shinichiro doesn't try to infantilize you but it does come off like that.

God the fact that you want him and you stick with him even though he's such a dork makes him love you so much, he doesn't even think he deserves you.

Hates it when you go home the first time. He can't even talk to you on the phone because of service issues, and trust me this dude was ready to take out loans for collect call just to hear your voice.

Bombards you with all kinds of questions like "Who did you see? Who were you with? Are you going back!?"

So my big headcanon is that he's a baby trapper. So when you talk about going next season he's already trying to figure out how knock you up.

Ends up fucking you with busted condoms (he poked holes) a few weeks before your trip because he needed to give you a VERY good reason to come back.

Just tells you "It's cause I'm going to miss you so much baby, I gotta get as much of you as I can. :)"

You end up surprising him with a ticket for him to come with you. He honestly could cry tears of joy, but he'll save it for when you discover his own little surprise.

[relaxxattack]

Piggybacking off the last anon, what is it you like about Jane so much? I find my feelings on her kind of mixed but I lean towards positive.

okay i haven’t read act six in probably like 5 years so bear with me here. *cracks knuckles*

jane is sooo so interesting and it’s really a shame people miss like everything fun about her.

pre-scratch she used her detective work to literally succeed at tearing down the crocker cooperation, to the point that HIC has to fucking abandon ship and head into another universe to have another shot at her evil empire. pre-scratch jane is also fucking hilarious! if you didnt enjoy her antics with john as nannasprite you must just have no heart

meanwhile HIC breaches a new universe, and her FIRST fucking order of business is to NEUTRALIZE JANE CROCKER because of how goddamn detrimental she was to HIC’s plans the first time around.

not ONLY does HIC pump subliminal messaging and brainwashing into nearly every aspect of jane’s life, she also tries to straight up mind control her basically whenever possible! she ALSO sends assassination attempts after jane 24/7! (people will seriously try to say that jane lived a safe normal life… as if she wasn’t almost killed by walking into her backyard.) this is because HIC is fucking scared of jane, as she very well should be!

jane is also NOT a boring weepy annoying crybaby like everyone and their mother complains about. jane is literally the most fucking supportive friend and emotion-repressing dumbass you could ever hope to meet. jane combines john’s emotional repression and jade’s intentional cheerfulness together into one of the most fucked up cases of emotional repression in the whole comic

act 6 suffers from a LOT of shitty writing choices, but it’s not jane’s fault the whole act turns into a soap opera— and she’s ALSO not the only one who acts all soap-opera-y either! literally all of the alpha kids suffer from this, people just like jane the least so they project it all onto her. despite the fact that she did her very fucking best to NEVER talk about her feelings, to the point where she ONLY started telling people about shit when she was mind-controlled or took mind altering substances to make her do so! and you can say “ohhh that’s stupid she shouldn’t repress things in the first place how dumb” but, one she’s sixteen, and two, everyone eats that shit up when it comes from like. literally any other character.

people (cough hs2 writers) act like she would actually be “pushy” with a relationship on jake— as if she wasn’t literally the one who helped him make the decision to explore dating dirk?? because she thought it was the right thing to do???

jane is incredibly thoughtful and mature and people really throw all of those traits out of the window with preference for a version of the story where she Comes Inbetween Their Fave Gay Pairing as if she wasn’t, again, the one who got them together. jane is also extremely interesting in terms of queerness; she’s got the makings of a really interesting arc, not to mention she’s the only human girl that dresses mainly masc! there’s a lot there that people just don’t care to explore.

people just have less patience for the prospit kids in general. not to mention homestuck fans love to be misogynistic and berate jane for stuff they love the men doing, or claim she’s coming between them when she’s not, etc etc. and then because no one was writing fun meta posts about her, nobody ever rereads the comic to grab little scenes or lines to expand the online discussion about her! and then because there’s no discussion about her, people assume she’s boring and don’t go looking for bits to start discussing, which cycles on and on forever until we have the ripple effects we see of that misogyny today. which mostly consists of, “oh i hate jane because she was a villain is hs2”, or, “i know hs2 isn’t canon but i still don’t care for jane because she doesn’t do anything that interests me.” (and she’s only not interesting because of the cycle i mentioned before causing NO ONE to have meta discussion about her).

idk, it’s been a while since ive read so i could be talking out my ass but that’s what i’ve got.

TL;DR: jane is fucking COOL, she just suffers from intentional fandom ignorance. and she’s also a canonically hot, fat, masc woman, so i don’t know what else you could possibly want.

[his-tamine]

SPIDER'S ATTEMPTING HIS VERY FIRST COMMS!!!! RAAAA!!!!! (I’m legit sooo fucking nervous - everyone point & laugh /lh)

Info below ↓ (looks like way more than it is)

- As I said, this is my first time doing commissions, so thank you in advance for your patience with me. Contact me via email (coyotespicer@gmail.com), Tumblr DMs, or Discord (eldritchwhore_) - whichever you’re most comfy with - if you’re interested! I'm also open to using other social media(s) you prefer, just let me know what. :]

I WILL draw:

NSFW (only of 18+ characters)

SFW (characters of all ages)

Fan art

Gore/Injury

Ship Art

etc. (just lmk)

I WON'T draw:

The obvious (anything hateful or illegal)

Furry (genuine skill issue on my part)

Mecha (again: skill issue)

Realism

ETC.

you can always request to see my progress, but I will show you when I am halfway finished, either way, incase you want to make any changes.

$ up front - it won't be spent until after completion.

Payments via Paypal, Cash App, or Venmo.

-

MORE INFORMATION:

If you do decide to commission me, first of all, thank you sooo much in advance! And Please keep in mind, that there is a vanilla family member currently holding and running all of the financial service apps (Paypal, Venmo, Cash App.) They do know that I draw adult content, but they do not know the specifics of what kinds of adult content (& I'd love to keep it that way lol.) So if you do decide to leave a note with your payment, please, please, PLEASE, make sure that the note is appropriate, otherwise blank is also completely fine. Have mercy on my soul, basically. If you are getting some NSFW artwork and wanna talk specifics, please do so with the email provided above (& again right here: coyotespicer@gmail.com), Tumblr DMs, Discord, etc. so that you know you are talking to me.

Also, if you contact me & don't get a response right away, my timezone is EST (I could be asleep,) and my life's been a little stressful lately to say the least. But I promise that I will get back to you ASAP. Furthermore, if there are any delays during the process of actually making your commission, I will immediately reach out to you and keep you in the loop. - major shoutouts to my homies, @indulgnc - for helping me figure everything out. He helped me with the base sheet, some common art terms that I somehow didn't know the meanings of, coming up with good prices, & basically walked me through the entire process. I would’ve been way too clueless and way too chicken shit to even attempt this without him.

and @dsnzfb - for allowing me to use a drawing I made of her ocs Cactus & Rose, as one of the examples above. I needed a good example of a colored bust-up, & dye’s color palette for her characters is so gorgeous. thank you guys for always being so supportive - y'all rock. I don't know if I can actually do anything to help dig myself & my family out of the hole we’re in with ocs, & kink art, but goddamn it, I will certainly try. -

[totheblood]

superposition. (five)

pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader

summary: ellie goes to bloomingdales and gets a little brown bag, and you come over

warnings: 18+ sm*t! cursing, drug/alcohol mention and use, ch

a/n: this is not proofread! i am writing this on like six benadryl.. so don't hate me.. ok I love u and I am happy I wrote this also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses

wc: 3.4k

masterlist for previous chapters

"no matter what we do, i'll be there with you."

Ellie was over this.

Sooo over this, she told herself as she found herself trailing behind Dina in a Bloomingdales, stopping at the Tom Ford counter to smell your perfume. Hands tucked in pockets as she glanced up at the sales associate that eyed her, a polite but forced smile on her face. In her blue and white flannel, Ellie was sure she wasn’t the target demographic. 

“Are you looking for anything specific?” Her voice was sing-songy and Ellie was internally cringing at how she knew this was going to go. 

“I’m uh-- looking for a scent,” Ellie awkwardly spat out. Obviously, she was looking for a perfume… at the goddamn perfume counter.  “It’s um… sweet… or fruity.”

“Does it smell like a specific fruit by any chance?” The lady asked, it looked like she was in pain behind her smile. Ellie was sure she was just projecting.  Her own nose scrunched up, indicating she didn’t know the answer to the question. 

“I don’t know… it’s um…” Ellie looked around as if she was searching for the answer, “Maybe it’s lemon? I don’t know… it’s for my girlfriend. It’s in a white bottle with a gold label.” Ellie knew you weren’t her girlfriend, she wasn’t even sure if you were friends anymore but it couldn’t hurt to pretend. 

“Oh, Soleil Blanc!” She practically yelled, picking up the bottle in front of her and spraying a bit of it onto a testing strip. She handed the flimsy paper to Ellie and Ellie had to mentally prepare herself before smelling it. Ellie brought it up to her nose and took a deep breath in, eyes fluttering closed as she did. If she closed them for long enough she could imagine you here, and instead of the annoying sales lady, there would be you. You would probably be smelling every perfume imaginable and holding tightly onto Ellie’s arm, but when Ellie opened her eyes you weren’t there. There was just the annoying sales lady and her. 

“Is that what you were looking for?” She asked, fake smile still on her face. 

“Um… yeah…” Ellie smiled as politely as she could, but she could feel herself shaking. It was almost as if she was on the verge of a panic attack but never really crossed the threshold. She never really flipped out or cried, she just shook for a bit and moved on. “I’ll take it. How much is it?”

“It’s only 295 dollars.” The sales lady said with a straight face as Ellie practically choked on her spit. How the fuck did you afford this? And why was this bitch saying ‘only’ as if that wasn’t an absurd amount of mone-

“Yeah, I’ll take it,” Ellie pursed her lips as she handed over her card. If she was being completely honest she had almost too much money and nothing to spend it on. And if she was being brutally honest with herself, the 295 was worth it right now. She didn’t want to admit it, but she needed you right now, and Tom Ford had your scent bottled up. 

“Your girlfriend is a lucky lady,” She laughed as she rang Ellie up, putting it in a gift bag without asking Ellie if she wanted it wrapped in the first place.

“I’m the lucky one,” Ellie said instinctively. She was already playing the role, so she might as well commit to the bit. Ellie had honestly never been a girlfriend, so she didn’t know if she was doing it right, but she assumed this was how it went. 

Apart from her domestic fantasies about you, she hadn’t really thought about being in a relationship. The idea made her sick to her stomach, but now she didn’t know if it was because she couldn’t imagine being with anyone but you or if her fear of commitment was out to get her. 

She wasn’t a complete idiot when it came to relationships though. She had dated this one girl her sophomore year in high school which abruptly ended when the girl's father found out about them. Ellie was sad about it for maybe a week but moved on when she found something else to fill her ever-running mind. 

Ellie wanted to be your first girlfriend, that much she knew, but that dream had taken a quick and bitter ending. Her face soured at the idea that she would never get that opportunity. She could never call you her high school sweetheart or any straight and corny crap she could think of. The sickly sweet dream was now something rotten. She was buying your perfume for fucksake. 

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” She smiled again, tucking the receipt into the bag and handing it over to Ellie, “Have a good day!”

Ellie found Dina looking through clothing racks somewhere in the back, approaching her and leaning up against the wall, knowing they would be there for some time. Dina had to do a double take when she saw the little brown bag in Ellie’s hand.

“What did you buy?” She breathed out a laugh before turning back to the racks and holding up what looked like a leather jacket. 

“Nothing,” Ellie sighed, rolling her eyes. She flexed her feet, looking down at them, anything to avoid eye contact right now.

“Why are you being weird?” Dina asked, deciding to put the jacket back and continue looking through the mixed clothes, “Like what did you buy at Bloomingdales that you don’t want me to know about?”

“It’s just..” Another puff of air from Ellie’s lips, “It’s a perfume. I just spent a ridiculous amount of money on it and I don’t want you to make fun of me for it.” It was a half-lie.

“What perfume?” Dina looked at her temporarily, causing Ellie to shift uncomfortably, but she quickly turned to another rack of clothes. 

“It’s this one from Tom Ford…” Dina stopped in her tracks as Ellie spoke, “Called Soleil Blanc or whatever.”

Dina was frozen for a moment before she turned to Ellie, her hand on her hip and face serious. 

“You bought her perfume?” Dina’s voice was sharp. She didn’t really know what was happening between the two of you but she knew that you hadn’t talked in a while and Ellie was barely leaving her apartment. It didn’t take a genius to complete the dots, but if it did Dina would still qualify. 

“I-I,” Ellie stuttered out, green eyes wide as she looked around, “No, it’s not for her. I-It’s for me. I like the scent. It’s nice.”

“You’re so full of shit, Ellie.”

“I’m not.”

“You fucking are,” Dina rolled her eyes as she started heading towards the door, Ellie hot on her trail, “You’re probably going to spray your pillow and hump it while you pretend it’s her.” Not a bad idea, Ellie thought. 

“I’m not!” Ellie followed her as her footsteps picked up, “It’s just a nice scent, and I like it. It’s not weird… I’m not a creep or anything, okay? The scent soothes me.”

“Yeah, cause she’s your fucking pacifier!” Dina whisper yelled as they approached the car, “She’s been your pacifier since junior year.”

“My pacifier? The fuck does that mean?” Ellie swung her door open, got in the passenger seat and buckled herself in.

“It means you practically rely on her to remain calm,” Dina explained, hopping in the car and breathing out a laugh as she shook her head, “I used to think it was just a weird friendship thing but I’m starting to believe you’re actually in love with her.”

The air in the car changed for a moment as Ellie stared blankly at Dina. She didn’t know what to say. Any claim that she wasn’t in love with you would come out in a stuttered mess and admitting to someone else that she was in love with you was something she didn’t feel like doing today. 

“Oh my fucking god,” Dina sighed, rubbing her face with the palms of her hands, “You’re fucking in love with her.”

“Yeah,” was all Ellie said as she leaned back in her seat and let Dina drive her home.

--

She didn’t want to think about it anymore. That night when she got home and got out of the shower, skin still damp and hair still wet, she soaked herself in the perfume, put on ‘The Office’, and ate a frozen pizza. This was pathetic, all of it. The pining, the wallowing, the perfume. She fell asleep after pitying herself for a while, the day finally getting to her. 

She was woken up by loud knocks on her door, jolting her awake. She was honestly pissed as she stumbled over to the door wiping the sleep from her eyes. She opened the door without thinking, the possibility of someone bursting through the door only to murder her sounding more than tempting right now, but when she opened the door she was met with your face. 

Your bare face, tired eyes, and tied-back hair. No smile on your face, but your eyes had the creases in them that they had when you did. You were in your pajamas, like you had decided on a whim to come over here. Wait, why were you here?

“Uh,” Ellie said awkwardly, shifting to lean against her door frame as she looked at you.

“Can I come in?” you asked.

“Why?”

“Ellie, let me in,” and she had already moved to the side, allowing you to slip past her as she closed and locked her door. Someone could murder her, but if you were here the door was staying closed. 

“Why are you here?” Ellie sighed, rubbing her face with one hand, voice raspy and deep from sleep.

“I…” You took a deep breath and steadied yourself, “Are.. are you wearing my perfume?” Ellie’s eyes widened as she shifted uncomfortably.

“What? No,” Ellie quickly defended, “Just tell me why you’re here before I kick you out.”

“I just was thinking about what you said to me at the gala,” you began, “I can’t get it out of my head, I can’t get you out of my head.” Ellie’s heart was already racing at this. Pathetic. 

“So?”

“So?” you repeated back to her, “Stop being a bitch, Ellie. You got to confess now it’s my turn. Don’t ruin it.” That shut Ellie up real fast. 

“I just didn’t know why it wasn’t the same with… her,” you looked down at her feet, fluffy socks covering them. Cute, “I just didn’t understand it, but I think it’s love… or love adjacent,” you sighed, “Fuck, I don’t know.”

“What about your girlfriend?” Ellie reminded you.

“She’s not my girlfriend anymore, it’s not completely over but we aren’t dating.”

“Not completely over? What the fuck does that mean?” Ellie knew she sounded like a bitch but she couldn’t help herself, all of it was too confusing. 

“I don’t know, Ellie! I don’t know what any of this means, I didn’t know what it was like to be with someone else until you kissed me. This was your bright idea and it,” you took a long deep breath, rolling your eyes, “and it was a fucking dumb one. I already liked you at that point and it confused me, okay? I mean, what the fuck was that? You were going to fuck me to ‘teach me’, I mean?”

“Pe-”

“And stop with that shit! My fucking pet name? Seriously? This isn’t normal, this wasn’t normal and now you’re acting like I did something wrong by dating someone, who you helped me date? I didn’t know what was even happening until you were telling me you liked me days after she asked me to be her girlfriend!”

“Did you come here to yell at me?” Ellie said calmly. It was only making you more angry.

“I came here to tell you I liked you and you’re being an asshole so I get to yell at you!” You huffed, your nostrils flared and your hand had found its way to your hip. Ellie hated how much she was attracted to you at this exact moment. 

“I’m not being an asshole, I just don’t know what you want me to do,” She pinched the bridge of her nose, looking you up and down, “You’re still seeing her, and I’m done sharing you.”

“I won’t see her anymore.”

“Are you serious?” She laughed.

“Dead fucking serious,” you scrambled to pull out your phone, “I’ll block her number right now.”

“You don’t have t-”

“I will.”

“Why?”

“Cause I want you,” you sounded exhausted like you had said this a thousand times before, “And no matter how hard I try no one will ever be you and I’m tired of acting like this isn’t what I want. Like you aren’t who I want.”

Ellie licked her lip, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth as she rubbed at her chin. She was acting like she was thinking, but she had already made up her mind. She wanted you. 

Ellie didn’t have it in her to be upset with you anymore as she saw the genuine desperation in your eyes. She wanted to kiss the worried look off your face, nip at your skin as she told you it was okay, that you were forgiven. She wanted to do that but instead, she walked over to you, closing the distance between the two of you.

"You better not be fucking with me," she warned, her voice coming out in a whisper, as her eyes flicked down to your lips.

You shook your head, your own eyes looking down at her lips as you stepped closer, "I'm not. I promise."

Ellie didn’t want to wait any longer. Without another word, she grabbed you by your hips, pulling at you but ultimately balling the material of your sweatshirt in her hands. She pulled you into her, pressing her lips to yours, slow and sweet. Like always, her eyes fluttered closed, as she felt you loosen up in her grip. Your own hand reached up to grab at her arms. You were just as touch-starved and desperate as her. The taste of your lips was making her dizzy, a mixture of sweetness and desire that made her head spin. She could feel the heat radiating between you, coming off you in waves. It smelled like lemon. 

Her hands roamed over your body, grabbing at anything she could. Your ass, thighs, tits. They were all hers. She could feel herself growing wet as you stuck your tongue in her mouth and was only met with a moan. All she could taste was mint and all she could smell was lemon and she was certain she was going to pass out. 

With a sudden surge of urgency, Ellie pushed you against her kitchen table, helping you sit on it as she pushed her unopened mail to the side. She pulled away for a moment to look at you. You looked so pretty with swollen lips, tip of your nose slightly red from her own brushing against yours. 

“You’re so fucking pretty, Petal,” she pushed a stray hair out of your face smiling as she gently kissed your lips. It was short and sweet and made your heart race. The initial thrill was gone and you were left with heavy breathing and an intimate stare. Her hands dipped into the waistband of your sweatpants, pulling at them gently, “Can I take these off for you?” 

She smiled and kissed you again as you nodded. She pulled them down and let them fall to the floor, leaning down to press a kiss to your thigh, making you shiver. You weren’t wearing anything special, just some grey briefs that betrayed you by showing the damp spot between your legs. 

“Sit back for me,” Ellie instructed, moving you backward so you could put the soles of your feet on the table. You did as you were told, leaning up on your elbows to get a good look at her. Ellie pulled a chair up, sitting in front of you. Her hand grabbed at your ankle, rubbing the skin as she leaned forward to lick you through your underwear. The sudden contact made you gasp and close your eyes. She looked up at you and smiled, before licking again, and closing her mouth around your clothed clit and sucking gently. 

All of her movement was excruciatingly slow as she pulled at the hem of your underwear, dragging them up and over your legs and throwing them to the side. This wasn’t the first time she saw you like this, but every time she did she felt her own clit aching. She leaned down again and slowly licked up your cunt, from your entrance to clit, sucking again as she flicked her tongue against you. As she did this her own hand traveled lower, sticking into the waistband of her pants and circling her clit. It didn’t help that you were whimpering beneath her, words that sounded like her name coming from your mouth. 

She wasn’t being vocal this time, though. She was focusing solely on you and how her own pleasure was growing.  

You moaned out loud this time as she slid two fingers inside you, her fingers curling upwards as she did so. Ellie's touch was both gentle and demanding, her fingers brushing a sensitive spot inside you, causing you to gasp out again. The rhythm of her movements never sped up, they were slow and calculated and she had only pumped her fingers in and out of you a few times before she was pulling them out and licking them clean.

Ellie stood up and guided you to the edge of the table, pulling one of your legs off the table and leaving one firmly planted on the table.

“You’re okay?” She checked in momentarily, placing her hands on your hips as you sat up. 

“More than okay,” you smiled leaning forward to kiss her again. She groaned into the kiss and took a step back, stripping her pants from her body and pulling off her underwear, and throwing it into the pile where yours was. You decided to be bold and reach forward to circle her clit with your fingers, causing her to groan, throw her head back, and grip at the edge of the table. 

“Fuck,” she cursed out, grinding into your touch almost forgetting her plans. Almost. She grabbed at your wrist stopping you, and pulling your hand off of her. 

“Was that not,” you mumbled out, “was that not good?”

“No, shit…” Ellie cursed under her breath, “It was too good. I just.. I had other plans, okay?”

“Okay,” you smiled, still unsure of yourself.

Ellie lifted one of her legs onto the table, so her cunt was positioned right on top of yours. Her gaze locked with yours as she slowly ground her hips into you, earning a loud gasp from you as you grabbed onto her, your own juices mixing with hers. You could tell how wet she was which only egged you on, making your eyes roll back into your head as she ground faster into you, her own breathing heavy and shallow. She was panting as she gripped onto your thigh, nails leaving marks there. Her other hand reached up to reach the back of your neck as she sped up once again.

“Came back to me just for this…” She breathed out, “She couldn’t make you cum… She could never make you look like this.”

As both of your moans grew louder, Ellie’s grip only tightened on you, the phrase “you’re mine” falling from her lips multiple times. The pleasure and pressure was overwhelming, a deep knot in your stomach was begging to come undone.

“Ellie, I’m going to-”

“Cum,” she demanded as her movements sped up and became more sloppy. She was about burst. As your moans grew louder and faster, and she could tell you were about to cum, she pressed her lips to yours, moaning as her hand that was gripping your thigh rested on your table. You came as she kissed you. 

She pulled away, her leg falling from the table as she leaned against the table, both of her hands gripping the edge. She didn’t want to look up at you, scared that you would have decided by now that you wanted to leave her. Reluctantly she looked up at your sweaty face to see you smiling at her, toothy grin and all making her smile back. 

“Oh, you soooo have a crush on me,” you teased.

“Oh, shut up. So do you.”

[hippolotamus]

Way More Than Seven Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the lovely and talented @kitteneddiediaz @tizniz @diazsdimples @spotsandsocks @inell @wikiangela Be sure to check their works!

IDK this has been rolling around in my brain since I first heard Casual. Sooo… 🦴 🍎 🦷

“C’mon, Luce,” Nat teases from the driver’s seat, poking Lucy’s thigh. “I play personal taxi and can’t even get a tour? Guess I need to up my game.”

Lucy rolls her eyes. Hopefully it’s more annoyed than fond. Honestly, Natalia could ask for a million things and Lucy would readily give them. At least, she wants to. She wants to want to. But that involves levels of vulnerability Lucy plans to keep locked up tighter than Diaz’s Catholic guilt.

“Your game’s fine, Dollenmeyer. I’ll show you around.” Lucy grabs her work bag and exits the car before Nat can gloat and kiss her about it.

Kinard and Thompson are chatting over coffee in the hangar, while Lee checks over the equipment in one of the birds.

“Well, if it isn’t my little ray of sunshine,” Kinard chirps, flashing his stupid, dazzling lovesick smile. God, Buckley’s got him so whipped. She’s happy for them but Jesus Christ. “And who do we have here?”

Tommy, ever the gentleman and charmer, takes Nat’s offered hand. “Tommy Kinard. One of Lucy’s favorite teammates,” he says with a wink.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard about you!”

“This is Nat. Natalia,” Lucy interjects. “We were hanging out and she very nicely agreed to drop me off since my car’s in the shop.”

Beside her, Nat stiffens. Tommy raises an eyebrow, shooting a knowing look at Lucy.

This. This is why she tried to resist Nat’s offer and insisted an Uber would be fine. Because Lucy knows she’s fucked up. Knew she would before it happened. What’s worse is Tommy knows — or highly suspects — she fucked up. He was in the closet too long, and with too many shitty partners, to not see right through her. He’s going to give her hell about this.

“Uh, yeah,” Nat agrees, barely hiding the way her voice is trembling. She drops Tommy’s hand and clutches her purse tighter. “So, uh, gonna take a raincheck on that tour. Maybe another time. Nice to meet you.”

Nat doesn’t run back to the car but she may as well. She doesn’t look at Lucy once. Not with anger or sadness or disappointment. Not at all. Lucy bites the inside of her cheek and watches her go despite the desperate clawing thing in her chest that wants Nat to stay. Now. Forever maybe.

She hikes her bag up on her shoulder, turning to walk toward the locker room, only to be met with Tommy still there. His arms are crossed and he doesn’t look at her with any judgement. It would be better than the almost pitying, understanding expression he’s wearing.

“What, Kinard?” She bites out, staring past him. “I have to change for my shift. Just- say it already.”

He watches her a moment longer, rolling his lips in, assessing. “Do I even have to?”

“I have to change for my shift,” she says again, biting her bottom lip, hard. Because she’s not going to get upset about this now. Just like she’s not going to think about waking up this morning, for the very first time, to Nat sleeping beside her, hair sprawled across the pillow while sunlight painted her bare back. How it made Lucy ache.

Tommy sidesteps, making a sweeping gesture to let her know she’s free to go anytime. She nods tightly, unable to meet his gaze as she passes.

“Y’know, I kinda wanted to hate her,” Tommy starts. Because he’s a bastard that way. She hates him. Hates him so fucking much for it that she loves him for being so goddamn forgiving and thought provoking. She swears he went to the Bobby Nash School of Life Advice and Mentoring.

She stops, but doesn’t turn around.

“Evan said nice things about her. Decent things anyway. Admittedly, I wasn’t crazy about why she was into him. But he didn’t have anything terrible. Being his first- I felt a little nervous and wanted to find something. Anything about the people in his past. You know how it can be with exes. Gets messy sometimes.” He pauses, probably sipping his lukewarm coffee. “And then they just- I don’t know, surprise the hell out of you in an unexpected way.” Another pause. “Don’t worry. I won’t hold you up anymore.”

His footsteps echo across the hangar, growing quieter. Lucy tightens her death grip on her bag and marches to the locker room. When she gets there, if she turns on the showers so she can cry in peace, that’s between her and the ancient tile and god.

np tagging @actuallyitsellie @diazheartsbuckley @weewootruck @saybiwithme @bidisasterevankinard @dangerpronebuddie @theotherbuckley @stereopticons @daffi-990 @your-catfish-friend @thekristen999 @filet-o-feelings @underwaterninja13 @rainbow-nerdss @steadfastsaturnsrings @honestlydarkprincess @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @dr-shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @dorkydiaz @bi-buckrights @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @beyourownanchor6 @lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @statueinthestone @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @shipperqueen6 and anyone else who wants to 😘

[anaoyuo]

Play With The Stars || deleted scenes

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Gojo Satoru x f!reader

summary: Literally just Gojo and you being horny on your beach vacation

notes: Another scene from adg that I’ve found. Originally from chapter 17, I ended up cutting it out for multiple reasons. One, the word count was already crazy. Two, the argument here was kinda unnecessary. And three, I thought it was too much back-to-back smut, especially since I knew about the threesome with Geto coming up. Sooo, I rewrote the whole thing, made it more romantic and sweet to fit the atmosphere of the rest of the chapter, and this scene here never saw the light until now. Enjoy

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The cooling ocean breeze swept into the room through the large, open windows, brushing past the curtains that fluttered and danced like the buoyant waves of the sea that was so close by.

You shifted on the couch, the phone in your hand failing to keep you entertained for much longer. With a deep exhale, you leaned your head against Gojo's shoulder, who sat right next to you. He, too, seemed to be absorbed in his phone since he didn't react to your gesture at all. 

"Satoru."

"Yes, babe?"

"I'm bored. What are we gonna do today?"

"You."

Confused at his response, your brows knitted together as you blinked up at him. "Me?"

Gojo hummed. "I'm gonna do you," he said dryly, those beautiful cerulean eyes never once leaving the screen.

"Thought that much was clear already," you muttered, heaving another long sigh into the air.

"Great." Gojo's phone suddenly clattered onto the table as he flashed you a grin, his large palm finding its way to your thigh in record time. "So let's start with that."

He barely wasted a second before slipping his hand between your legs, but you were just as quick to intervene, seizing his arm and halting him. 

"Seriously?!"

Hearing the harsh tone in your voice wiped the smirk clean off his face. He braced himself for what was to come next.

"Why can't I ever have a decent conversation with you? It's so annoying."

While you continued to snap at him, he sat there like a scolded child and listened, his tongue poking his cheek as he patiently waited for you to finish.

Gojo really began to wonder if you were doing this on purpose, constantly stressing him out, always arguing and picking fights, all because you knew the makeup sex was worth it. And he fucking hated that he had to enjoy this drama. 

"Can you for once in your goddamn life think with your brain instead of your dick?"

"What the fuck is your problem? Can you explain to me why I am the asshole again?" Gojo retorted, his own voice rising now—the perfect opportunity for you to play the victim.

"I just don't want to spend any more time on this couch, please." You slumped your shoulders and lowered your head. "I thought you'd have plans. This is your house, after all. You know this place better than I do."

"Alright, fine. Let's go shopping later. The promenade's got some cool stores, good food, too. Can we both shut up and fuck now before we end up killing each other over this?"

You shot him a pointed glare, still not convinced. He understood that he needed a different tactic.

"Dearest goddess of beauty, please, might I humbly request to partake of the pleasure of making love to you, oh you most gorgeous and perfect female being?" he asked again as he reached out to stroke your face with exaggerated tenderness.

You wanted to keep pretending to be mad, but your laughter slipped out uncontrollably, as it always did around him. "Okay. Make love to me then, Satoru," you smiled. 

Gojo shared your smile before he tilted his head and captured your lips with his own. He kissed with hunger, and you reciprocated it with just as much, if not more intensity. 

Your hands were all over him, gripping his taut biceps, clinging to his broad shoulders, holding his neck, running through his fluffy hair, fingers tightening in the strands, tugging at them. He did the same, lost in worshipping your figure, squeezing at your waist, your hips, kneading your breasts. 

Gojo pressed you to himself, bringing you closer to sit you on his lap, your body pliant and willing under his guidance. 

Amidst the sighs and kisses in the room, your phone rang suddenly. You drew away a bit, glancing toward the source of the sound. "Someone's calling me."

He couldn't be more unfazed, really. Gojo's mouth was back on your skin in an instant, trailing along your jawline. "Ignore it," he whispered against you, his voice husky. "We're busy."

"What if it's important?" 

"I'm more important."

He did his best to distract you by sucking sweet bites on the sensitive spot under your ear, the one that always got you weak, but his effort was for nothing. 

"I need to answer this," you insisted and gently pushed yourself away from him to rise to your feet.

Gojo let out a dramatic groan. "Yes, go ahead. Just neglect me. It's not like I have feelings, too," he grumbled as he threw his head back on the couch. 

You rolled your eyes at his theatrics and unplugged your phone from the charger. The display was lit by Nobara's name, your thumb swiping to accept her call quickly.

"Hey," you greeted, bringing the phone to your ear.

"Hey, where have you been? You haven't shown up at the office for days." Nobara's concern was audible even through the static of the speaker.

"Oh, I'm fine." You walked back to the couch and settled down beside Gojo. "Just not in the city at the moment," you added. 

"Not in the city? What's going on? Are you sure everything's alright?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," you reassured, leaning back against the cushions. 

He watched and listened as you gave your colleague some bad excuses for your recent absence from the office. Though initially amused by hearing you stutter some words together, after a while, his interest waned. Gojo was bored again, and terribly so. 

That was when an idea sparked in his mind. 

"Nobara, it's nothing to worry about. I'll tell you everything when we see each other next week." As you spoke, you sensed Gojo's movements on the couch. Your eyes widened when you saw him pulling out his half-hard cock from his boxer briefs. 

With a stupid smirk and his brows raised high, Gojo gestured for you to jerk him off. The sheer audacity had you shocked and a little affronted, and it must have shown on your face because he snorted and broke into a fit of giggles next to you. 

"Oh, so you won't be back in time." Nobara sighed on the other end of the line.

"Back in time for what?" you asked, trying to redirect your focus to the call, even as he grabbed hold of your wrist. 

At this point, it seemed easier to just go along with what he wanted and appease him. So, you did just that, your fingers closing around its girth as you began to mindlessly stroke him. 

As the call continued, Nobara talked about a techno club she wanted to visit with you, where one of her friends would be playing their set. At the same time, Gojo started twirling the lengths of your hair, then he ran his hand through it. 

You should have known it from the moment he started touching you. It was all so obvious where this was headed; slowly and carefully, he guided you downward until his pink tip brushed against your lips, urging you to take action.  

You glared up at him, venom in your gaze—his absolute favorite expression on your face. 

"I had no idea you had a DJ friend," you replied to Nobara, deliberately ignoring Gojo. However, the constant taps of his cock on your cheek made it clear that he wanted your attention in one way or another.

"Oh, I met him a few years back when I was standing outside a club..."

While Nobara spoke, Gojo pushed your head further down, and you gave up on fighting him. It was a battle that you would have lost anyway. 

He had to stifle a groan, his teeth sinking into his lower lip as your warm mouth took him in, your tongue laving over his dick obsessively, as if it was your natural response to always do your best for him. 

"...if you want, I'll ask him if you can join us," she offered. 

You panicked. You hastily pulled back, trying to recall what Nobara had just said. "Uh, sure. Why not," you stammered out.

The second you finished, Gojo plunged his cock right back into your mouth. He bobbed your head up and down in a rhythm of his own making, testing your limits, pushing you to the edge of gagging multiple times before finally releasing you.

Your breath was shortened as you struggled to regain your composure, but Gojo was just getting started with the fun. He motioned for you to lie down. You shook your head vigorously. 

Oh, how he loved playing this game with you.

The way you fought back only to give in was one of the things that turned him on the most. It felt like a small victory every time he got his way with you. 

Gojo pushed you onto your back, and you offered no resistance. Why would you even?

He flipped your dress up, his eyes locking with yours as he teased your thighs with the tip of his tongue, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive flesh near your throbbing core. That was when you tuned out Nobara completely. All your thoughts now dedicated to what Gojo was about to do to your pussy.

Gojo buried his face between your legs, mouth latching onto your cunt, licking at your clit over the fabric of your panties, and each flick sent electric shocks through your body. Your free hand instinctively gripped his hair, seeking something to anchor yourself to. He didn't stop, didn't seem bothered, so you tightened your hold on his white locks even further, holding on for dear life.

"...he works on Fridays, I think, so let's do next Saturday," Nobara suggested, pulling you back to the call. 

"Yeah," you breathed out, a borderline moan. "Next Saturday's fine."

Gojo smiled against you. He was certain your friend must have picked up on it by now, but if not, he would make sure she knew exactly what was happening. 

Pulling your wet panties to the side, Gojo slid two of his long fingers into you. Your eyes snapped open wide as you gasped, loud, way louder than you had anticipated.

"Is everything alright?" Nobara asked.

Gojo pushed you further; the wet noises increased, his tempo a brutal one, which had you shaking and writhing as you tried to twist away from him but failed as his strong arm held your thigh locked in place, forcing you to endure his sweet torture. 

"Nobara... someone's at the door... I need to go," you somehow managed to blurt out. 

"Okay—"

Without even waiting for her to finish her sentence, you abruptly ended the call and threw your phone aside to fully devote yourself to the pleasure, but that didn't last long as Gojo began to slow his pace. 

"You're so lame. You should've talked to her for a bit longer," he said, looking down at you in a way that almost felt mocking.  

"How about we switch roles the next time Suguru calls?" you shot back in your defense. 

He licked his lips, already finding himself drawn to the idea. "Sure. I might even Facetime him." Gojo then leaned down to steal a chaste kiss from your pretty lips. "Just don't complain when I accidentally switch the camera and film you giving me head, yeah?"

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They are my favorite toxic relationship. I can't wait to bring their dynamic back in fg

Full series: ao3

[acotarfrustrations]

An ongoing list of ACOWAR grievances I'm keeping track of while I read (because there's too many to make a post about all of them) pt. 2

I'm on chapter 15 now and feeling the urge to complain again so here we go

1) the writing is way too overdramaticized. Like every other paragraph is some remixed version of feyre going "I wondered whether it would be eggs or bacon for breakfast. But when I looked at Rhys I realized that he was giving me my own choice. My mate, my high lord. In our home. With our family. Every thing was always my choice" and its CONSTANT, LIKE OH MY GOD GIRL SHUT UP

2) every thing about Lucien's plotlineand the elain mating thing. I HATE this subplot with a PASSION

3) feyre immediately fucking rhys when she got back instead of going to see her sisters

4) feyre and rhysand acting like they've ben separated for forty centuries instead of a month

5) the contradictions about how the high lord thing works. Like it was established that its a government position given to you through basically fate and being chosen by the cauldron or whatever which is why siblings kill each other for a chance for the throne and yet they just went to a priestess and swore feyre in as high lady?? It makes her title not feel real like it's purely ceremonial. It doesn't even make sense that she would be able to be HL of the night court as she has no more ties to that court than she does any other court. Is it because she's mated to Rhys? I don't understand the HL lord at all, it just keeps changing

6) the fact that Feyre, Rhys, and Cassian tell Lucien about their tragic backstories and everything that's happened to feyre at the NC and he just immediately does a Feyre™️. Like he's suddenly "Oh yeah you had a horrible childhood and took feyre into your found family without letting her explore relationships outside of the IC, that totally makes up for all the evil shit THAT IVE SEEN YOU DO WITH MY OWN 2 EYES. wow i cant believe youre not evil even though you killed 50 winter court children and sexually assaulted your mate and mind raped her constantly to get her to like you"

7) the way they're treating Nesta. It has been a MONTH since she was stolen from her home, brought amongst a race that she is terrified of and THAT ENSLAVED HER PEOPLE, and was forcefully turned into ONE OF THEM and the IC is acting like she's being unreasonable for not wanting to talk to them or to mate with Cassian. WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE EVEN BE THINKING ABOUT CASSIAN RIGHT NOW?? WHY THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL BAD FOR HIM? Instead of him worrying about how his mate is doing regardless of his own comfort he's like WOE IS ME, SHE DOESNT WANT TO FUCK ME?????? GET OVER IT ASSHOLE?? WHY IS FEYRE EVEN LETTING CASSIAN COME NEAR HER AND ANTAGONIZE HER?? DOESNT SHE LOVE TO FLAUNT HER HL STATUS AROUND?? THIS IS THE TIME TO USE IT, PROTECT YOUR GODDAMN SISTER FROM HIM? ITS SO OBVIOUS THAT SHE DOESNT GIVE NEARLY AS MUCH OF A SHIT ABOUT NESTA AS SHE DOES ELAIN!!

8) the fact that sjm didn't keep cassian's wings shredded. Him learning to live with that would have been a badass character development but now sjm doesn't want me to have good things

9) the mating bond in general. I think it could be a potentially good plot device but no one ever employs it well and sjm is definitely the most egregious with it

10) the fact that the ic never gave consequences for their fucking actions. Feyre dies in acotar? Turn her into a fey and give her ALL of their powers. Stealing a precious artifact that they didn't even end up needing and getting a bounty on their head in the summer court and then getting that court invaded? That's fine because feyre is SOOO brave and says things that are common fucking sense which makes her SOOOO smart so we obviously need her as an ally so we'll just rescind the blood rubies. Getting the spring court sacked? That's fine we didn't like them anyway. Rhys and feyre's bond gets snapped? Well they didn't know about our super secret mating bond that is actually the only thing that gives our characters chemistry so we still like each other. Rhys causes irreparable damage to every court for 50 years and kills 50 kids? Well that's fine he was being held hostage and hey! We don't know he actually killed those kids 😡 Feyre, a 20 year old girl who's been fae for like 6 months and training for even less goes up against thousands of years old beings? She beats them effortlesslessly! Rhys gets sexually assaulted for 50 years! Well he planned all of it so it has no negative consequences on him. Cassian gets his wings shredded? Well he worked really hard and they're fixed now 🥰. Rhys FUCKING DIES?? Well that's no problem, tamlin can just resurrect him, nvm the fact that there's no reason why he WOULD. like no harrowing situation is ever interesting cause we all know sjm isn't actually going to do anything to the ic

11) "my mate" STOP SAYING IT PLS IM BEGGING

12) "males and females" STOP SAYING IT PLS IM BEGGING pt. 2

[nburkhardt]

My beloved baby Pikachu I bring Pokémon ideas~

Eddie as ghost type gym leader whose gym looks like a metal concert and he has his sweetheart strapped to his back at all times

Steve as a water/fighting type gym leader whose gym is half a pool. Everyone is surprised to find this guy in a soft pastel sweater, tight jeans, and the fluffiest hair is the leader. Until he brings put his nail bat as the battle starts.

Everyone thinks they hate each other because they seem polar opposite but no one notices the skull ring on Steve's left hand nor the soft purple sweater Eddie sometimes wears.

They're married your honor!

The Party is a group of newbie trainers that get taken under their wings of course.

🖤❤️🖤❤️🐼

AHHHHH!!! PANDA I LOVE YOU, I already freaked out in dms with you but I’mma say it again: I LOVE YOUR BRAIN, you get ALLLLL the forehead kisses 🥹🥹🥹 I’m sooo gonna ramble away. Maybe not a full fic but my god I’m obsessed. (It’s a full fic, with a surprise pov!)

We’re going to mix up all the gens together (so if you only know some Pokémon, I’ll include pictures at the bottom of the ones I mentioned)

ALSO: if you have any ideas for anyone else’s Pokémon, let me knowwwww.

Onto my rambling fic under the cut 🥰

Here’s the thing, when Dustin decided to take on the gym challenge, he had no idea what he was going to expect.

He didn’t think picking a grass type to start could both hurt and help him between each gym. But Snivy was a little spitfire and like him; dramatic. She didn’t like any of the nicknames he threw out at her. She also didn’t like her pokeball, instead she preferred to sit on his head.

All of his friends were also doing the challenge but he was getting distracted by figuring out more information on each Pokémon instead of just battling. They’re all ahead of him, which, is okay it’s annoying but’s fine.

Especially when he ran into Steve.

Dustin was supposed to take on the fairy gym next but he heard the leader was ruthless. So, he decided to train up a bit. Maybe even evolve Natu and Trapinch. But instead of that, he was grumbling as he carried his very much knocked out, Trapinch to the Pokémon center instead of battling more.

Servine was walking next to him now, too big for staying on top of him when walking. She was also grumbling in her own way, crossed arms and nose in the air.

“We’re trying to get them to evolve, Servine, not knock them out!” He threw out at her getting closer to the center, “can’t believe I let you get your way all the time”

She apparently didn’t like that information and huffed before walking away, which would normally be fine if they weren’t in a new town. So, instead of reaching the Center like he wanted, he turns around to follow her. Returning Trapinch to his ball for now.

“Come ON, Servine I didn’t mean it like that! You’re so good at everything but-” he immediately knocked into somebody and knocked to the floor, “fuck, ow. Dude!”

Looking up he finds a guy, probably in his early twenties with a Mimikyu sitting on his shoulder while a tiny Pumpkaboo floats next to him. Which is a weird combo with the dude’s outfit choice of a soft looking yellow sweater and light wash jeans. “Not my fault you weren’t looking, dude”

Dustin glares up at him before getting up and dusting his legs off, “hey! I’m only looking for my Pokémon, she ran off from me!” Looking around he can’t tell which direction she actually went in, “by any chance you from around here?”

The guy makes a funny assumed face, both ghost pokémon snicker as well- which is so confusing. But he’s not too concerned for that, more so about the fact that his goddamn starter ran off.

“Yeah, you could say I’m from around here. What’s the Pokémon? A tiny Bidoof? Oh or is it a little Oddish?” He laughs and makes a weird hand movement that clearly both ghosts know and move away, “they got a name? That’d be way easier”

Crossing his arms he looks away, “Servine, and no. She didn’t like anything I came up with, so”

The guy’s laugh dies down and he frowns, “what, were the names lame or-” he shakes his head, “you’re upset, sorry, I’m Steve. Let’s find your Pokémon instead of bickering”

“I’m Dustin, and- SERVINE!” His eyes widen as the tiny Pumpkaboo (seriously how is that Pumpkaboo that small?) leads his Servine towards them, “I’m sorry, seriously, you’re the best and that was uncalled for. Are you okay?”

Servine nods and curls into his arms. He doesn’t bother saying anything else to her, cuddles her close and turns to find Steve picking up Mimikyu and whispering to Pumpkaboo, “Thanks. Seriously”

Steve smiles, “no problem, Oz here is pretty good at finding things.” He looks at his watch before wincing, “I gotta run, we’re gonna be late. You at the fairy gym?”

What the- “how do you know?”

Steve gives another funny look before shrugging, “Got an eye for these things, anyway, next gym is ghost. Be wary of him, he’s a little, hm, much. Yeah?”

All he can do is nod and watch as Steve just walks away.

Fairy gyms are brutal, even with Trapinch evolving into Vibrava. His saving grace was Slugma and that was it still rough since it’s fire isn’t that effective against fairy.

Maybe he should’ve gone with more poison types.

But that was two days ago, and now he’s making his way towards the next town and their gym. He is wary. Not only because of what Steve told him but because of running into Lucas.

(Lucas had decided on a water type, Totodile. Which was a little surprising for Lucas but Dustin didn’t question it, the little Totodile was energetic and lovable.)

He was minding his own business trying to figure out whether or not he could, technically, learn how to speak in the Pokémon’s language. When a blue bundle ran towards him, looking around he spots Lucas trying to catch his breath. “Hey! I thought you would’ve been passed this one”

They play catch up and once it’s all been said and done, Lucas shows him where the gym is. It looks fairly normal on the outside but Lucas swears it’s a whole other world inside.

“It’s like a concert, and there’s an actual audience too! Which was overwhelming at first, but once I got my footing it was like they weren’t there” Lucas explains, stopping only once their in front of a normal looking gym, Lucas laughs and shakes his head, “yeah that was my first expression too. I think you’ll enjoy it. Might have a hard time”

He looks away from the building to raise an eyebrow at him, “what does that mean?”

“Dude you picked a grass type as your starter! And you have no dark types!”

Rolling his eyes, “thanks for the encouragement, I’m sure I could handle it. Even with the disadvantages.”

Lucas looked like he didn’t believe him, but it didn’t bother him. Their whole party looked at him funny when he went with a grass type. Hell, Max made fun of him for it.

It didn’t matter, the gym challenge is turning out to be nothing he wanted to do once he’s able. He wanted to be a professor anyway. This was just temporary, even if he gets beat a bunch of times.

Walking inside the gym, he bypasses the annoying tips guy at right next to the door and makes his way to find the actual battle area. Lucas gave him the directions, it was confusing he said.

Sure enough, there’s a goddamn maze and cords everywhere.

After what feels like hours, he makes it to the end and is faced with a stage. Cords and what looks like vines everywhere, sure enough a small audience is there too. It looks all badass and a mix between rock and metal.

As he opens his mouth the lights go away and he has to immediately cover his ears as a loud beat starts. There’s a guitar being played even louder, clearer too. A spot light hits the stage and now he knows who’s playing.

Standing in the middle of the stage is a man. Long frizzy hair, leather jacket over a t-shirt with a band on it, ripped black jeans and black shoes. His guitar really completes the look, red with black lines all over.

The guy plays for a few minutes before stopping and walking closer, “Welcome to my metal concert, you ready for your ass to be handed to you?”

Right as he’s about to open his mouth a little orange and brown blur pops up behind the gym leader, it looks oddly familiar.

The man follows his gaze and groans, shifting his guitar to his back and focusing on the tiny Pokémon next to him, “Ozzy, we talked about this! Either stay in your ball, off the battle field or at home.”

Dustin blinks, moving closer he finds that the tiny Pokémon is a Pumpkaboo. That’s definitely moving and saying something back, which makes the guy shake his head before glancing around.

“Uh-“

“Hold on, I’m trying to find- HONEY LOVE! Come get your child!”

There’s no movement but he hears a snort, then the tiny Pokémon moves away and he sees the gym leader shake his head again, “sorry, that little guy is only a baby. Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

The guy’s smile is wild and maybe Lucas was right.

An hour later and Dustin is sitting on the edge of the stage freshly beat and definitely ready to call it quits for the day.

“Did Eds give you a rough time?”

His head snaps up, there’s Steve with Mimikyu on his head and a Vaporeon sitting next to him.

“I just need to do some more training.” He doesn’t want to admit that yes, the gym leader, Eddie, definitely gave him a rough time. It was fun, but Eddie was even more brutal than the fairy gym.

Maybe he just needs to catch a dark type.

Steve nods slightly, making Mimikyu squeak. “Doesn’t hurt to train more, V here” he pats the Vaporeon’s head, causing a pur to happen, “wasn’t the greatest battler, we had to do lots of training. Before you do any of that, want to come have dinner with us? You and your Pokémon can all rest for the night”

Dustin can’t figure out how he didn’t put two and two together. He feels like an idiot right now.

“What do you mean you’re also a gym leader? The final one at that?! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Steve snorts, putting his hands in his pockets as he leads them to a house, “not my fault you didn’t pay attention when the professor talked about the gym challenge to you.”

Crossing his arms he glares at the ground, “yeah well, Professor Owens forgets shit. How is it you’re the water gym leader yet have a ghost type with you?”

There’s an amused smirk on Steve’s face and what sounds like a giggle come from Mimikyu, “I might specialize with water types, I do have a fond experience with ghost types. And dude, it’s okay to try catching other types. I just so happen to work better with water types. Queen here was a gift, basically, my partner found an egg and gave it to me.”

He nods because Steve’s right, it is nice to use all different types. Though if he did only pick one, grass or bug type is where he’d stick with.

“Alright” Steve smiles and comes to a stop, “we’re here, once we get inside you can let your Pokémon out.” He leads them up to a door and Dustin takes in the mixture of aesthetics.

There’s clearly two different personalities living in this house, whoever Steve’s partner is, definitely enjoys the darker aesthetic compared to Steve. Who gives off a more pastel aesthetic. Not that he fully knows, he’s still going off or how Steve is dressed.

“Hey baby, I brought a guest!”

They both hear a crash and then a curse. A Gengar floats out of the kitchen and snickers as it stops in front of Steve, “What did you do?”

“He’s over the moon for beating up a Nin- woah! Honey love, you brought the kid I just beat?”

Blinking hard because there’s no way, Dustin also rubs his eyes before looking over at the kitchen doorway. His vision clears and yep, there’s the gym leader, Eddie, standing there in a pastel purple sweater and black sweats with his Decidueye leaning behind him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, seriously?”

Steve outright laughs and pats his shoulder, “dude, you’re face. Oh man, should’ve taken a picture.” He moves closer to Eddie and presses a kiss to his cheek, “He looked so sad after the defeat, I had to.”

Eddie shakes his head, amusement clear on his face, “Honey, you gotta warn people when you bring them over. Even if they look like a kicked Eevee”

He scruffs and looks away from the couple to find the Pumpkaboo, Ozzy apparently, next to him. It makes him groan, “I’m an idiot, you’re the one who found Servine!”

Ozzy nods excitedly before floating down and nudges his bag, confused he opens it and Ozzy dances around him. He’s curious and looks over at the couple, “uh, what?”

“He’s asking you to let your Pokémon out, they’ll enjoy some play time and food.” Eddie answers and looks at the time, “which is done by the way. Come on, let them out and we’ll give you some tips”

Shrugging, he does just that, all his Pokémon looking around curiously before spotting the backdoor where Ozzy and Steve are now in front of. All of them rush over and Steve laughs before opening the door, letting all of his Pokémon outside.

“Don’t worry, we got a fence and there’s food already out there.”

He can only nod and watch as his Pokémon all play together with Steve’s and Eddie’s Pokémon.

Dustin doesn’t know how he ended up here, honestly, he’s sitting inside a home that belongs to two gym leaders. Who are not only two of the strongest ones but also married to each other. Of all the things he was learning, this might’ve been the most surprising.

————

I’m gonna end it there because if I keep going this post will be stupid long (it already is 😅) BUT!! I decided to make this into a series!! It’ll be a fun one that I could write and post whenever I want. Can switch up povs and everything this way. Please don’t ask me why I went with Dustin’s pov this time around, I don’t even know. I just..kept going.

Anyway! If you enjoyed this let me know what you think and if you have any ideas/suggestions you can totally leave me some!!

Taglist: (sorry if you don’t like Pokémon 😂)

@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @bookworm0690 @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito @navnae @i-less-than-three-you @strangersteddierthings

Here’s the graphs of the Pokémon I have mentioned and also the full teams of the main three (Dustin, Steve & Eddie) and also Lucas’ totodile (didn’t come up with his full team)

[ohbo-ohno]

this is bad. this is REALLLLL bad. i was just a normal gal til I read your ghoap puppy play. i. just. what the fuck. now, first of all, i’m even MORE kinky than before, and you’ve infected my writing too

like soap gets all pouty when ghost first starts training because what the hell, he didn’t sign up for this :((( and like when ghost makes him sleep in the crate because he’s been bad, edges him for weeks because mutts don’t get rewards, he can’t help but hump the bars and whine all night ‘til ghost groans, wakes up, and then degrades him until he falls silent again :(((

and ghost doesn’t even give a shit. cuz it doesn’t matter if Johnny is our talking with literally anyone on base, ghost can literally just say a few little words and poor soap just slips right back into the puppy headspace :(( and then he gets all whiney when they’re alone and can’t help it when he starts to bark, nuzzling closer like the good boy he is :(((

omg ew what have I become

i love hearing that my stuff is what got people into puppyplay but it never fails to fucking BLOW my mind. ME??? are you sure????

anyways the last paragraph of this ask made me loooooooose my fucking mind. i don't think you meant it this way but i would KILL to be able to write hypno properly, there's sooo much fun there. hypnotizing someone to be your puppy.... they don't know why they feel like dropping to their knees every time you whistle :(((

equally as fun, of course, is just regular ol' training. ghost getting soap conditioned to certain signals and sounds, doing it so casually that soap doesn't even notice. goes so far that soap stops responding to commands from other people - the first time soap looks to ghost instead of price in the field (ignoring price, waiting for ghost), simon nearly fucking melts. praises his boy for hours when they get home

"ghost makes him sleep in the crate because he’s been bad, edges him for weeks because mutts don’t get rewards, he can’t help but hump the bars and whine all night ‘til ghost groans, wakes up, and then degrades him until he falls silent again" has been something i've been meaning to actually write a full scene out for for MONTHS now but i never have. it's just. godddddddd i fucking. ugh i can't. SO goddamn hot, it's egregious. i can't

ghost playing with soap (even in public) with miscellaneous items... love. ceilidh has this tweet that i haven't stopped thinking about since she posted it. just...

ghost making soap grab him things by saying "fetch that for me" and eventually shortening it to just "fetch" :( holding things a little too long when he offers them to johnny, making him play a quick game of tug of war :( grabbing johnny by the jaw and shaking his head real rough when he's not listening :( taking him on walks when he gets all wound up so he doesn't make a mess of himself or ghost's room :( goddamn i could write a whole drabble for every single one of these ideas if i was in the right fucking mood. hate it here

[seungmonggg]

arranged marriage Bonten mikey but he is goddamn cold & indifferent to reader who loves him legitimately; Uses reader’s body for pleasure only til he got her pregnant. Reader died giving birth to the child and that’s when he realized he rly loved reader. Her parting gift to him was the child :(

omggg okay so listen up...

Mikey loved the way she was sooo fucking dumb for him, the way she'd do anything just to please him, to make him like her too. She'd more than once run away from home in the middle of the night just because he called her up..

He really wasn't used to someone practically running after him. thats why he hated that idea so much he just kept turning you down over and over again, breaking your heart more than once.

it was when you turned up at his door at god knows what hour, crying your eyes out and shaking from the cold of Tokyo. You were holding something in your delicate hands, hands he loved to feel on his skin, even though he'd never admit that out loud.

"I'm pregnant, Mikey." you'd confessed that night. And he went batshit crazy over you. Accusing you of trying to "Babytrap" him, so he couldn't leave you like you knew he would. He screamed at you to "get fucking lost before i forget myself". And so you ran, ran like a person gone wild, away from all this shit, from the pain, from him.

It wasn't a couple of months later that he got a text from Draken saying "Mikey i really think there's someone you should meet..". And he agreed because he thought it was you who he was going to meet. You, who he had been searching for the last couple of months, regretting the vile words he threw at you that night.

It wasn't until he arrived at the Hospital that he realised something was terribly wrong. Ken-chin standing at a door, looking almost remorseful? sad? what the fuck was happening, Mikey thought.

A loud and shrill scream shook him. He didn't know why, the hairs on his neck standing up immediately, it was a baby. He began breathing faster, felt like there was a huge, heavy stone on his chest, stopping him from breathing normally. "Ken-chin, w-what the fuck is going on? W-what are we doing here?"

His voice was shaking, something that never happened. Draken just put an arm around his smaller friend and whispered a small "I'm so sorry Mikey. She couldn't make it.." into his hair.

What? What the fuck was he talking about? It couldn't be about you, could it? But when he looked up and saw the Doctor looking at him, with that look in his eyes... the sorrow, the pain, all of it hit at once.

He couldn't breathe, started snapping for air to fill his lungs again, the world began to spin around him, Drakens screams of "Mikey! Mikey calm down!" got quiet until he couldn't hear anything but the loud cries of his child. The child you gave him, gifted him as a final goodbye before peacefully leaving this world with an "I'll always love you, Mikey." on your lips...

So, now, almost a year later, everyone knew not to ask Mikey what happened to the Mother of his little Daughter. Last time someone asked, he went on a killing spree for three days and was only stopped by Draken finally knocking him out...

Ahh, here it is, my first ever angsty writing!! I hope you liked it. :) sorry if there are any typos, didn't proofread it :P

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I had coffee my thoughts are all over the place it's not gonna make sense and I'm probably gonna change my mind about some of the things I said later but here's my ramble.

I'm so mad right now. There's so many things that piss me off with Peter B. I keep thinking about all the mess he keeps pulling throughout the first and the second movie. The fact that he betrayed Miles not once but twice BUT THREE TIMES (typing Miles up in ITSV, not telling him about the Spider Society or that he was an anomaly, CALLING HQ ON HIM BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE HIS FATHER. Technically that's 4 but moving on.)

He refuses to acknowledge Miles as a fellow spider(which is probably why he didn't feel bad about finding Miles was an anomaly now he has a reason to not take Miles seriously.) And he keeps trying to insert himself into a mentor role when he's yet to do a whole lot of mentoring. What also throws me here is how he had the audacity to say the trauma builds character while being a mentor to help guide Miles into becoming Spiderman so Miles' could avoid the mistakes that Peter made.

I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT CHAIR SCENE IN ITSV. How is it you as a grown man. A grown white man no less took a black teenage boy who you viewed as so much of a liability that you had to tie him up. And I know multiple people have talked about everything that's wrong with this scene but there's still something so haunting about watching him just nonchalantly be tied up kicking and screaming about how he wants to be let go that bothers me so much. And I find it hard to believe that this was just a scene we're supposed to just move on from. Did they do this on purpose? Was this supposed to showcase something about Peter's character that I'm not picking up on? Because I find it so hard to believe that the writers who made sure to explicitly show how Gwen's Peter is Christian because he later turns into a lizard wouldn't understand the implications of this scene.

I also don't think he's a strategic as he thinks he is. What do you think was going to happen when you forcefully tied this boy to a chair? You thought he was going to sit still? Also would you think the boy who's trying to save his father was going to do? Actually listen to your words? Sit back and be like, oh you're right I should just let my father die. (This is me going off my reasoning that he didn't plan out that one scene in ATSV. I think that he thought that because he's Miles' "mentor" he could get through to him in a way others can't. Which pretentious much?) His actions do more harm than good and it just works out for him somehow. (For instance Miles saving them in ITSV because he came late.)

These are my thoughts do with this what you will. All the stars decided to align today ig because I haven't been able to come up with coherent thoughts like this in a minute.

(I really need to rewatch itsv. So if there's anything here that I'm wrong about regarding itsv it's been like 5 years since I've seen it.)

I GET THISS SOOO HARD (I waited until I had coffee to answer this lol)

BUT YESSSSS Because like I can understanding giving Peter the benefit of the doubt, it makes plausible sense for a movie to have a certain amount of wiggle room plot wise.

But with writers who clearly understood punk enough to accurately show it in Hobie's arc, repeatedly put in the work to respect Cockney and Puerto Rican culture, who wrote every one of Hobie's lines with PERCISION - would just overlook the glaring hole in their story that is Peter.

Because we as a viewer are continually told we SHOULD look up to him and we SHOULD trust him - but in doing so they accidentally make him the exact opposite. Like.. It doesn't make sense to me.

The Focus on Jess & The Absence of Peter:

aka GODDAMN I hate Peter B. Parker [yet another rant about 'bad' writing, plotholes, and Peter not showing up for Miles or Gwen.

For example,

Jess is Gwen's mentor, and we see her mentor style is extremely different from Peter's and that's suppose to be a contrasting dynamic between them and the relationship between Miles and Peter. Okay, makes sense.

But by NOT having Peter be Gwen's mentor, the writers are implying that he didn't step up as an emotional mentor when all this given - HE SHOULD. Because he's the only adult that she knows, and she a freshly homeless teen who needs to be around people she trusts, rather than working at a society with an auditorium of adults.

But by trying to show off how much we should judge Jess, the writers have inadvertently given us a Peter who just..didn't take responsibility. That's what they're implying - that Hobie and Jess were the ones who came to get aid. And we're suppose to look the other way. I... can't do that, sir.

"Look at how mean Jess is, why not blame her-" Jess is doing her job. Where's the adult she actually knows and trusts. Can we get some dialogue about what he did for her? Or did he just do nothing?

Did they just forget to include that, or did Peter just forget to help?

For me, that's two points in the bucket. Not housing Gwen, and not being her mentor. He could've done one, the other or both.

But because he didn't, we're left asking "What WAS he doing in the Society?"

Missions, I assume. Cause he wasn't mentoring her, so he must have been off putting in legit work for Miguel, I assume.

If we're looking at the characters as full-rounded - which I would hope they are considering the depth of Gwen, Miles and Hobie, it's not a large jump to ask 'How involved was Peter in Gwen's time at the Society? Why is he not her mentor, or why is she not living with him?"

Gwen..should be staying with him. If you're an adult who knows a teen and they become homeless, and it is within your means - yeah, I do think it's a moral obligation to open your home to them, at least temporarily. If you care about them. But that aside, let's extend the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Gwen didn't want to see him.

But then the ratting Miles out thing. This, I can't get around-

Some may say that it was simply for plot development and that Lyla spoke suddenly as a mistake on her part.

And I gotta call bullshit.

Firstly, because this is the same movie where we're shown Hobie stealing parts prior to learning what the parts are for. The same film that literally animated a fight accurately to Bushwick down to the very street. Let's cut it some slack here.

And moreso - I could understand the justification that it was a mistake on Lyla's part.

If Lyla was human. She's not.

She's an AI, and a very sophisticated one at that. Lyla runs on protocol, because that's AI's do. She's made to do things the way that is mathematically most effective, based on her analysis and her code.

It's easy to see Lyla as just an avatar, and a comedic one at that - but Lyla is literally one of - if not the - smartest 'person' in the multiverse. She's the only one who can track Spot in real time. If Jess and Miguel need aid on a mission or with Spot, they call Lyla. And she's handled every Society mission prior to the chase.

Her speaking out of turn suddenly and giving Peter away is an understandable plot mistake, if she was subjected to human mistakes.

So far, Lyla isn't. It doesn't make sense, based on what Lyla is.

I think Lyla would know better than to give Peter away suddenly by detecting Miles' presence and still speaking out loud.

A lot ask 'What motive does Peter have for ratting Miles out?', but we also should also ask "What motive does Lyla have for ratting herself out?'

It's her goal to find Miles no matter what. She doesn't care, she kinda can't - she's an AI. She just has to find him and send Miles' location to Miguel. Her objective.

So her locating Peter without his knowledge and then giving herself away to him doesn't make sense - especially if Lyla knew Miles was that close, from a human standpoint and definitely from the standpoint of the most sophisticated AI in existence.

So I was under the assumption that - like you mentioned now, that before when he gets Miles alone, he may genuinely be trying to convince him still, but by the time they get into that space, I think that's around the time that it becomes a 'Okay, let's just get Miles back to HQ and talk about this' situation.

He genuinely ratted Miles out. In my eyes.

Because at this point, Miguel hasn't assaulted Miles. That comes later. So realistically speaking, his goal was probably to calm Miles down, and get him back to HQ however he could, and talk to him there.

Peter could've helped WAYYYY earlier.

People give Peter credit like 'Oh but he came over to Miles' side at the end-'

NO. YOU DO NOT GET A COOKIE.

Peter could've helped SO much earlier, and if anything, he was THE ONLY ONE in a position of helping.

Gwen can't do anything, like they physically restrain her when she tries to. And there's no point after they come to HQ that Gwen has the chance to turn around and help Peter.

Gwen doesn't get that chance. Peter DOES.

Had Peter helped Miles HERE, IMMEDIATELY, Miles would've gotten away without being assaulted by Peter.

If Peter had turned around and changed course in this moment, Miles would have been better off.

Fuck Peter B. Fuckkkkk hiiiimmmmm. NAWWWWWW

If Peter had let him go here, or helped him escape - Miles wouldn't have been taking hits up on that train. That's crazzzy.

But he wasn't trying to help Miles escape. If he wanted to, he would've. He could've just said "Matter of fact Miles, I think setting the WHOLE Society on you is a bizarre move and you should probably get out of here until Miguel can calm down and I can talk to him."

But he was like 'Nah, hold my baby. Matter of fact lemme tell you story in this pivotal moment when you're actively in danger. Here, look at me. What do you mean - I'm not stalling? I didn't rat him out on purpose.

Like either you did. And even if you didn't you didn't help him when you were literally the only person in the universe who could. In fact, he got away slower because of you. Lovely.

Peter is a grown man. He's not an idiot.

He knows Miles is in active danger. Why would an adult turn the conversation in that direction - about his baby - KNOWING Miles has no time.

As soon as Miles got his hands on MayDay, Peter is trying to change the conversation. Suddenly he's joking and laughing.

Even though Miles is freaking out. Why is Peter joking? He knows this isn't a joking situation. But here he is wasting Miles time, either accidentally or intentionally.

Because that'd be some good ass stalling.

There was nothing stopping Peter from helping him leave. But Peter was still on The Society's side, so he didn't. If he was on Miles' side, he would've helped him. He should've, but he was still for Miguel, because at this point Miguel hadn't assaulted Peter yet.

Congrats, Peter. Big L. Humbling Reality Spider-man everyone.

Like combine all this. AND THEN THE SCENE IN ITSV.

LITERALLY AND PHYSICALLY PETER IS ALWAYS HOLDING MILES BACK.

You cannot expect me to believe that the writers of a movie I can write 10k+ words about, just so happened to leave these two glaring plot holes for ONE character.

That I'm just suppose to ignore that Peter restrained Miles, a black boy, in ITSV. That he betrayed Miles for months, wasn't very active in Gwen's time at the Society, and he actively hinders Miles escape - if not actively ratting him out.

It baffles my mind.

It doesn't make sense, that these writers can write Hobie, Jessica, Miguel, Officer Stacy, Rio, and Jeff as fully rounded, well-thought characters. But for some reason, when it comes SPECIFICALLY to Peter B. - they just forget how to write. They just stop thinking about him the second they don't look at him.

IN BOTH MOVIES?

I don't buy it.

To have every other character be thoroughly thought through but have one of, if not these most iconic character full of plot holes...

I think the likely answer is they wrote him that way on purpose and he's just a bad person.

I'm sorry, and I'm laughing while writing this but like.

Either Peter is the ONE singular character who has a series of emotional plotholes - or he's just a bad mentor. It's one or the other. And it's open to interpretation.

But I wanna cut the writers some slack and say, No - they thought it through. And No, Lyla did not just randomly speak out of turn, he contacted her first off-screen before she replied to him.

And by waiting till the very end to come around, waiting until the person who looks up to you is deeply wounded to finally turn around - that's the same arc Officer Stacy goes through.

And we're not supposed to clap for him. It's lovely, but he doesn't get an award. And neither does Peter, not at all.

Maybe if had helped Miles escape in that moment. Maybe if he was Gwen's mentor or he housed her.

But as far as we know he spent those months of Gwen in the Society doing fuck all. We've seen no sign of his contribution anywhere.

And in a story about mentorship, that says something.

Anyway. This is long. Again fiosfgihrgirturetuier I'm SORRY

Once again, Fuck Peter B. All my Hobies hate Peter B. (not a typo)

He's worse than Jess.

And he's not worse than Miguel but I like Miguel more and it's not because of the ass that's just a bonus Miguel is cool (but also very wrong. but like personality wise we're cool).

Ummm I feel like I got off track here. Oh well!!

Damn he be doing Miles dirty. SMH

Bye.