#i hate how much he’s due for a rerun exactly when she’s finally due for release

[electric-plants]

frankly if they finally do alhaitham’s next rerun in the same patch as arlecchino i might just die

[bffsoobin]

33

➤ soobin x reader, fluff, very slight angst, idiot best friends oblivious to their mutual pining

↳ prompt 33: “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I just break his nose a little?

requested?: yes

warnings: swearing, mentions of small injury

A/N: I’m sorry if you were expecting more explicit romance but I feel like this prompt worked better as a mutual pining idiots plot. Also apologies if this is lack luster, it’s been a few months since I wrote anything non-academic! 

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.•

You huddle underneath your comically large black umbrella as sheets of torrential rain pound down on it, washing across the pavement below your feet as if following the tide of the ocean. Your sneakers are soaked, squeaking pathetically as you shift your weight from foot to foot and grimace at the feeling of your socks soggy between your toes. Normally you would have been huddled in your dorm room, working on homework from the morning’s classes or watching reruns of Catfish just to grumble about how stupid a person could be.

But your best friend had texted you with a code blue, so you found yourself in the back parking lot of the campus library, enduring the rain that could only mean Noah’s Arc was due to float by any second. Wind whips your hair into your face cruelly and temporarily blinds you, as if mocking you for daring to brave the storm. You can do little more than scrunch your face oddly and shake your head from side to side in a desperate bid to get the locks away from you since there was no way in hell you were taking a hand off of your umbrella just to push your hair back. A car peels into the parking lot just as you clear your vision. It’s a humble silver sedan, a Hyundai of almost 20 years old, with streaks of rust on the back bumper and a sun-faded license plate. Even in the rain you can make out the litany of decals covering the back end, especially your favorite which boasts the term “MILF: Man I Love Frogs” in bold green letters.

There’s no hesitation in your step as you slosh through the rain to yank at the passenger’s side door, jiggling it several times until the telltale click of the unlock allows you to heave it open fully. Suddenly worried about the state of the car-which is littered with coffee cups, extra clothing, loose notebooks and sheet music and fast food receipts- you shake the umbrella off outside of the car before snapping it shut and closing the door. Beside you Soobin laughs, short and low.

“Thanks for shaking off your umbrella. Really counteracts the gallons of water your brought in with your shoes and pants.” He glances pointedly at where your feet soak the tan carpet into a dark brown and you bristle.

“Thanks for calling a code blue in the middle of a rainstorm. I wouldn’t have fucked your car up if you didn’t have an emergency.” Your voice softens at the reminder of why you’re here, and you finally turn to face him better after you buckle up. He’s devastatingly handsome, as always, but you feel your heart stutter at the fact that he’s wearing the hoodie you bought him for Christmas, the one he had almost slapped you for spending so much money on. It’s slightly damp from the rain and it casts his face in shadows along with the shitty weather and for once you hate the way it looks on him. He drives without asking, already knowing exactly where he wanted to go to talk out whatever had happened.

“I wouldn’t call it a total emergency,” he begins as Spotify takes a few seconds to switch between songs. “Just something I needed you to be in the loop for ASAP.” He looks your way again, eyes calculating for a few moments before the light turns green and he’s making the all too familiar right turn into the tasty and underrated diner that you discovered as freshmen. The rain has not slowed at all and the two of you run into the building to avoiding getting too wet, although your feet squelch with renewed vigor on the red and white tiled floor.

The lighting is much better at your favorite table, and after you place your order you’re able to finally get a good look at Soobin. His soft eyes are rimmed red and puffy, and you can’t tell if it’s the weather, the lack of sleep or his persistent allergies that are the cause. Maybe all three, or maybe something new entirely. He’s staring back at you just as clearly, studying your own face and mannerisms even though it had been years since anything about him was new to you. Of course, other than the day he casually pulled you into his chest and you realized just how tall and broad and handsome he had become.

The thought leaves as scarily quick as it enters, as Soobin turns his face to smile up at the waitress delivering drinks and you catch a glimpse of reddened, mottled looking skin just beneath the seam of the hood. As soon as the waitress retreats you lean across the rickety table and paw at the cotton. Soobin puts up almost no fight, knowing he’s about to lose a battle that hadn’t even begun. The delicate skin of his cheek is alarmingly bright red and looks angry to the touch. Bruises had already begun to form around the outer ring of the graze and your heart clenches when you realize that what you first thought was a circular bruise looks suspiciously similar to a fist. A symphony of anger and concern rise within your chest and your eyes prickle with tears that you know Soobin will wipe away for you if you let them fall. 

“What-” you swallow, saliva suddenly feeling like it’s made of cotton, “Who did that?” 

He smiles shyly, ducking away from your touch but you gently grab at his cheek, keeping him from moving too far. His eyes bore into yours, flicking down to your lips before bringing them back up. Slowly, as if scared to spook you, he encloses his palm around your wrist.

“Promise you won’t yell and disturb everyone else that’s eating?” You nod eagerly even though both you and Soobin know that it was a promise likely to be broken. His hand, steady and radiating warmth into the skin of your wrist tugs tighter, hooking on to you like a life line. 

“That asshole Braden. I was passing him in the lobby of the math building and he was talking to his friends about how-” Soobin stops to swallow an invisible lump in his throat- “how he worked with you on some project and he kept talking about how stupid you were the whole time.” 

Your face twists into a grimace at the reminder of that exact project and then the image of Braden, tall and wide with an angry round face; but then a laugh bubbled from the depths of your chest. 

“To be fair, I was useless for that project. It was film class and it was about that stupid French movie I didn’t watch. So he’s not technically wrong.” Soobin’s frown twitched and then, to your surprise, deepened. Heart dropping at the sight, you felt a chill creep up the back of your neck. For as long as you’d known him, there was always a good chance that a well timed joke could curb his anger or sadness or frustration. 

“It wasn’t that that got me, well, this. After he said that, he said that even though you were stupid he wouldn’t mind seeing you on your knees.” You sucked in a simultaneous breath with Soobin, whose moody look finally transfered to you. It made too much sense now; why your joke hadn’t shifted his mood, why he was so vague about why he needed to talk to you, why he had that bruise. Your heart races as you begin to imagine how the skin will turn deep purples and greens, going sickly yellow around the edges. “It just pissed me off so bad. So I yelled at him and he squared up with me and before I knew it I was on the floor.”

To be honest, you were angrier that Soobin had come out of the altercation hurt than anything. You were used to the comments, the snide bullshit that falls from the mouths of your less kind peers.

“I’m going to kill him.” Soobin laughs, finally, as you clench your fingers into a tight fist around your innocent glass of strawberry lemonade.

“No, you’re not. I’m fine.” He finally removes the hood from his head, and if it weren’t for the bruise- which you now could see spread almost all the way to his ear- you would have been more interested in the fact that his shaggy hair had gotten even longer since the last time you’d seen it this close. You open your mouth to protest just as the waitress approaches again, this time balancing two hot plates of food on her arms. You flash her a sweet smile at the same time she notices the state of Soobin’s face and squints. She doesn’t say anything, though, and leaves almost as quickly as she showed up.

“Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” You ask as soon as she’s out of earshot. 

“Yes.” Soobin playfully scowls at you around a mouthful of french fries. Your heart skips at the adorable way his eyebrows knit and his dimples press deeper into his cheeks. Despite yourself, you smile, feeling the tension in the air dissipate around the pair of you. Soobin gestures loosely to the plate in front of you, wordlessly encouraging you to eat.

The pancakes you ordered are just as delicious as you remember them to be every time; fluffy and syrupy with just enough butter. Halfway through a chew, a new idea pops in your head and you struggle to keep chunks of batter from spewing onto the table as you speak.

“What if I just break his nose a little?”

[cloudywriter]

a trip to target

rowaelin month - september 6th

prompt: firstborn arrives

i literally have no idea where this idea came from like it’s so weird but i think it’s funny so i just had to write it. honestly though pregnancy freaks me out a little so it was a little uncomfy to write at times but i pushed through and i like it. enjoy!

(warning for some minor language)

masterlist, AO3

~~~

Rowan was working on one of his client's cases, a rather nasty divorce that he knew was going to be an absolute dumpster fire when his wife called him again. Rowan couldn’t help but smile a little at her name lighting up his phone screen but admittedly she was bothering him so much he barely got any work done nowadays. 

He picked up anyway, he’d never decline her. “Hey, Fireheart.��

“I’m bored, buzzard,” Aelin deadpanned. 

“I know, baby, but I’ll come home after my meeting later, I promise. Then we can watch Bachelor reruns all night and eat ice cream,” Rowan assured her, leaning back in his office chair. For some reason, all she wanted to do nowadays was watch bad reality tv and eat ice cream from the carton. As much as Rowan hated reality shows and wasn't keen on sweets he did anything to make her happy.

“That’s too far away, I’m rotting away on this couch,” Aelin whined. 

Aelin’s work had forced her on maternity leave a few days ago as she was due any day now with their first child, a little girl, and Aelin was not taking it well. She was the kind of person who liked to always be busy and now she had nothing to do but sit on the couch and wait for their child to decide she was ready to enter the world. She was constantly phoning Rowan seeking some form of entertainment but he was still working on this damn case. 

Rowan thought her restlessness had something to do with the fact she was terrified at the thought of giving birth and caring for a newborn. If she were distracted she wouldn’t have to think about the daunting task at hand. So, he did his best to keep her happy and preoccupied but he desperately needed to wrap up this case before his daughter arrived. He wanted to be there for every moment of the beginning of her life, he didn’t fancy any legal cases looming over his head vying for his attention as well. 

“I know, I’ll be home as soon as I can. Hang tight, my love.” 

Aelin huffed from the other end of the line. “I’m ready for her to be out, Rowan. This sucks.” 

Rowan stifled a laugh, he knew being pregnant had lost its charm a long time ago. At first, she enjoyed Rowan fetching anything she asked for and waiting on her, but then that started to get old, and Aelin's pregnancy symptoms made her miserable most of the time. So, the last couple of months hadn't been her favorite. 

“I’m ready to meet her too. Any second now.” 

“Okay, I’ll stop bothering you now," Aelin concluded. She likely finally found something on Netflix that piqued her interest. "Good luck with your meeting, I hope they settle. I love you,” Aelin told him. 

“I love you too, see you soon,” and with that, the call ended. Rowan looked out the window of his office, thinking. Maybe he could send someone to keep her company?

He ran through a list of their friends in his head. Elide, Aedion, and Lysandra were all working as far as he knew and didn’t want to ask them to leave their job to entertain Aelin. He thought of Lorcan, Connall, and Fenrys, they all worked for him so technically he could let them off. Except, Aelin didn’t particularly like Lorcan and he didn’t think Connall would be very keen on that arrangement either. Fenrys, though, Aelin and Fenrys were best of friends, a force of nature all on their own. 

So, Rowan rang his assistant requesting that Fenrys be sent to his office. Not much time passed before Fenrys was standing in the doorway, knocking lightly on its frame.

“What’s up?” He asked, plopping himself down on a chair opposite Rowan, making himself comfortable. 

“I have a favor to ask,” Rowan confessed. 

“A favor?” Fenrys raised an eyebrow, intrigued. 

“Can you go keep Aelin company while I’m trying to settle with the Westfalls?” Rowan probed. 

Fenrys frowned. “As much as I love Ace I can’t take a day off work to hang out with her. I have bills to pay and ladies to take out.” 

Rowan nearly groaned, fighting an internal battle with himself. “I’ll let you do it on the clock,” he finally spit out. 

“You’re going to pay me to go entertain your wife?” Fenrys looked bewildered. “I feel like is almost insulting to Aelin, you paying people to hang out with her. You’re the one she should be paying people to hang out with.”

Rowan rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not like that. I feel bad because I know she’s struggling and I can’t be home right now. I don’t want her to have to be alone, just take her to Target or something.”

“Aelin’s a grown woman, can’t she take herself to Target?” Fenrys disputed. 

“Yes, but she’s a grown woman who’s nearing 40 weeks pregnant. I’d rather she have a chaperone,” Rowan admitted, before backtracking. “Don’t ever tell her I said that.” 

Fenrys looked amused as Rowan continued. “Are you really going to say no?” 

“Of course not, getting paid to go to Target with Aelin is a hell of a lot better than getting paid to do paperwork,” Fenrys conceded. 

Rowan blew a sigh of relief as Fenrys headed to go pick up Aelin. 

+++

Fenrys had successfully gotten Aelin to Target. It wasn’t a hard task to accomplish, the woman loved Target but Fenrys noticed she seemed rather uncomfortable and he asked her multiple times if she just wanted to stay home instead. Aelin always said no, pushing on with their trip. 

He supposed having a watermelon-sized bump on one’s front would cause a certain degree of discomfort, though. Naturally, the pair find themselves in the baby section, gushing over tiny onesies and shoes small enough to fit in the palm of their hands. Fenrys was swiping through a display of onesies, “Do you think they have any of those onesies that say like 'broken condom 'on them or something?” 

Aelin turned around from where she was staring at baby headbands. “You’re nasty. My daughter was not the result of a broken condom.” 

Fenrys made a face, “I don’t want to know.”

Aelin snorted and they continued their browsing making their way through every aisle that had anything remotely baby-related. By now, Fenrys noticed Aelin was growing increasingly uncomfortable, he could see her stamina slowing, and the difficulty walking was beginning to pose. 

Eventually, he shifted to face her as they browsed the small, dollar section at the front of the store. “Do you want to head home and get off your feet?” he finally proposed. 

“No,” Aelin responded without looking at him, picking up a small, fake succulent. “Walking is supposed to induce labor and that’s what I’m aiming for right now,” she stated, smoothing a hand over the front of her round stomach. 

Fenrys shrugged, picking up a pair of cheap fuzzy socks before throwing them back into their bin. 

He allowed Aelin to mill about the store, spending a healthy amount of time at the nightgown section before moving towards the back of the store. Aelin always said it wasn’t a trip to Target without going to the back and sniffing their extensive stockpile of candles. 

That’s exactly where they ended up. Fenrys had his nose stuck in a deep violet candle, making a face at its scent. He checked the label. Cosmic starlight. What the hell was that supposed to smell like? 

He turned to Aelin about to make her smell the atrocity when she braced herself against the shelf, putting down the candle she had been holding. Her mouth popped into an ‘o’ and her brow furrowed. 

“Aelin?” Fenrys reached out a hesitant hand placing it on her shoulder. 

Aelin breathed deeply, taking a moment to reply. “The baby must really hate the smell of sandalwood,” she finally vocalized. 

Fenrys’ dark eyes widened. “Did you just have a contraction?” 

“I think? It’s hard to tell if it was just a strong fake one or not,” Aelin panted eventually loosening her grip on the candle display shelf. 

Fenrys wasn’t taking any chances, if Rowan wanted him to deal with a woman going into labor he’d have to raise his pay significantly. “How about we get you home, Ace.” 

Aelin didn’t object, just nodded her agreement waddling towards the front of the store with Fenrys hovering around her like a fly. 

They made it out to the parking lot without any further incident and Fenrys helped Aelin into his low, expensive sports car that was his prized possession. Aelin’s face scrunched up then a sharp gasp left her mouth, her hand flying to her stomach. 

“I think squatting down trying to get into this thing just broke my water,” her eyes were wide with fear as she looked up at Fenrys. 

Fenrys face was comical, his own eyes widening like saucers and his mouth dropped. Sure enough, the bottom of her dress was wet. Fenrys was frozen for a second his mind completely emptied out, then the panic set in sending a million thoughts racing through his head. 

Fenrys audibly gulped, “Okay, um, I’m calling Rowan.” Fenrys grabbed his phone out of his pocket, fumbling with the device as he dialed Rowan’s contact, willing him to pick up. 

Fenrys leaned slightly against the open passenger door as the phone rang. “You’ve reached Rowan Whitethorn-Galathynius, I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your call, please leave a message and I’ll -.”

Fenrys hung up and groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. Beside him, Aelin whimpered. “Holy shit, that was not fake,” she groaned, her grip tightening on the seat beneath her.

“Oh, gods, Aelin, please don’t give birth in my Mercedes,” he begged. 

“Really, Fen?” She narrowed her eyes at him, she’d probably kick him in the groin if she wasn’t incapacitated. 

“You know I love you, but I don’t want baby juice on the leather.”

“Just call Rowan again,” Aelin growled. 

Fenrys did just that, silently pleading with the universe for Rowan to pick up his gods-damn phone. Relief washed over him as the call connected. 

“Fen, I’m in a meeting this better be worth my while,” Rowan whispered harshly, he hated to be interrupted at work by anyone except Aelin.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your wife’s water did just break but I guess I’ll call back later,” Fenrys spat, growing increasingly flustered by the minute. 

Fenrys heard a sharp intake of breath. “Fuck, shit, okay, where are you? I’m coming right now,” the jingle of keys filled Fenrys’ ear from Rowan's end of the call. 

As Fenrys surveyed his surrounding the urge to laugh crept upon him, he fought his smile as he replied, “The Target parking lot.”

Aelin watched the exchange closely cluing in on Fenrys’ suppressed laughter. “It’s not funny, Fen!”

“It’s a little funny. I mean if anyone was going to have a baby in a Target parking lot, it’d be you. Or Lysandra. One of you two.”

Aelin snatched the phone out of Fenrys’ hand, pressing it to her ear. “Rowan,” she panted, resting her head on the side of the car. 

Fenrys couldn’t hear much of what Rowan was saying, he spoke in a low voice trying to calm Aelin, assuring her he was coming and he loved her and she was okay. 

They were sickeningly in love, Fenrys would admit. 

“Okay, I love you too,” Aelin breathed, hanging up the phone and handing it back to Fenrys. 

Fenrys leaned against the side of the car as they awaited Rowan’s arrival. “Cross your legs, Ace. Remember, no baby juice in the car,” he reminded her, trying his best to keep her mind off of what was happening while they waited.

“Go to hell,” Aelin murmured in the midst of a contraction. Fenrys wasn’t sure what to do so he bent forward to rub Aelin’s shoulder in an attempt to do what, he wasn’t sure. Aelin didn't yell at him though so he rubbed circles on her shoulder as she clung onto the seat. 

Rowan showed up only a few minutes later, tearing into the parking lot like a bat out of hell, so at odds with his usual slow and steady driving style. He jumped out of the car, his tie loosened around his neck as he rushed to Aelin’s side. 

He kneeled down next to the open car door, picking up her hand and brushing away the stray blonde strands of hair from her splotchy face. “I’m here, Fireheart. How far apart are your contractions?”

“I don’t know,” Aelin hissed. “Okay, okay, let’s just get you in the car and to the hospital,” Rowan decided, supporting Aelin as she eased out of the car, leaning heavily upon him. 

Fenrys and Rowan successfully got Aelin into the passenger seat of his car, Rowan buckled her in and continued whispering words of love and support. Rowan rounded the car and hopped into the driver's side ready to book it to the hospital when one of the back doors opened and Fenrys slid in. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Rowan asked, shifting in his seat to look back at Fenrys. 

“I’m coming, obviously. I’m about to be an uncle,” Fenrys stated clearly. 

Rowan internally debated with himself on whether to kick Fen out of the car or not but ultimately decided he needed to prioritize Aelin, if Fen wants to tag along then fine. 

The ride to the hospital was tense, Rowan held Aelin’s hand across the center console, kissing the back of it and consoling her. Fenrys felt as though he was intruding but he refused to miss the birth of his niece. 

Of course, once they were admitted to the hospital Fenrys was kicked to the waiting room while Rowan supported Aelin through the duration of her labor. 

It progressed surprisingly quickly after her water broke, it was only a few hours later when a nurse told Fen he could come see the baby. 

Fenrys pushed open the door to the room softly and peered in. On the bed was Aelin, her golden hair a fan around her and despite the traumatizing ordeal she was glowing. A small baby was wrapped up in a blanket, laying in Aelin’s arms. Rowan was at her side, peering down at the bundle in her arms with so much love Fenrys felt as though he should look away. The new parents were already smitten with their little human, running their fingers over her cheek. 

Aelin perked up as Fenrys stepped into the room. She ushered him over and he too inspected the baby. She was so small, sleeping contently in her mother’s arms. Fen thought she had Rowan’s nose and he could see wisps of blonde hair from beneath her wool beanie. 

“Is her name Target? Or Bullseye like the dog?” Fenrys quipped with a playful smile. 

Aelin rolled her eyes as he interrupted the tender, intimate moment and shoved his shoulder with a shocking amount of strength for a woman who’d just pushed a whole baby out. 

“No,” Rowan answered, his eyes not leaving Aelin or the baby, “Her name is Elora.”

“Elora,” Fenrys repeated. “She’s beautiful, Aelin.”

Aelin gave him a soft smile and Elora yawned, her little eyes fluttering open. She gazed up at Fenrys with eyes the color of a pine forest. 

Fenrys beamed at the small girl and he liked to think she almost smiled back.

~~~

kinda leaning on the side of an aelin and fenrys brotp fic but i couldn’t not publish it, it’s so cute.  it’s not as fluffy as i’d like it to be but it was supposed to be more funny, nonetheless, i have more rowaelin baby content planned that is very fluffy. 

[pagingevilspawn]

Hey my request is about Alex who returns to Seatle and finds out about Jo and Jackson's relationship

i had all and then most of you (some and now none of you)

wc: 1.4k

pairing: Jo Wilson/Alex Karev (past), Meredith Grey & Alex Karev (gen), and mentions of Jo Wilson/Jackson Avery.

summary: during a late night phone call, alex learns that jo is well and truly no longer his.

rating: general audiences.

category: angst.

warnings: angst, no happy ending.

AN: again, this is pretty short, but i wrote it in two hours, so.... it's not quite what you asked for anon, but i tried to keep it relatively canon compliant, since here (as you can tell) Meredith didn't get covid.

_____

The silence in the house seemed alarming to him, not used to the lack of commotion that usually echoed throughout the halls. Izzie was finishing up on a shift and wouldn’t be home for a while, and the twins were tucked into bed, leaving the only sound in the home to be the low, steady humming of a sitcom rerun on the TV.

The appeal drained after a while, and he eventually grew tired of laughter from the audience after nearly every line spoken. Mindless chatter was all it was and all it seemed to be.

Alex sighed, leaning into the couch’s cushions and pulling out his phone, dialing Meredith’s number once he saw that he had missed her call only minutes before. He waits a few seconds, the droning of the beeps making him anxious for a reason he couldn’t place. Eventually, Meredith picks up, her voice slightly out of breath, which he only assumes could come from finishing a long day of work.

“Alex! How are you?”

He gets up from his place on the couch, taking his conversation onto the front porch, settling onto the swing that hung in the corner. “I’m good Mer, I’m good,” he says, directing his gaze to the end of the road, where a car went by, headlights being one of the only forms of light besides the dim street lamps.

“How are the kids?” he asks, feeling a sense of nostalgia at the fact that he hadn’t seen his niece or nephews in months. He missed them, more than he would admit. He had been there for everything, everything graduation, every dance, every school play, he had been there.

But he had his own kids to tend to now, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything.

(not trade, but make some changes. he lost that opportunity a long time ago though)

“They’re good. Zola is driving Bailey crazy with how much she’s correcting his homework, when all he wants to do is go play on his XBox. Ellis is hating distance learning, complaining that all she wants to do is see her friends, but what else is new. Zola loves it, not surprisingly. She thinks school is even easier than it was before, the only part she misses is talking to her friends, but she calls them and everything, so she doesn't see too much harm. She’s started staying after class to help other kids with her teachers. Amelia and I have been teasing her non-stop about being a kiss-up, but she loves it. If she decides to switch careers I wouldn't doubt that she would be a teacher,” she says, and he can hear the car door slam shut and the rumble of the car's engine coming to life.

He laughs softly, “We both know that that’s not gonna happen. Zo would rather get into a bear fight before giving up on being a surgeon.”

Meredith hums, “That’s true. The thought of being anything else almost is offensive to her,” she laughs. “The other day I made an offhand comment about a lawyer being a fun career for her because of how much she loves to argue, and she went into a five minute lecture on why she was going to be a neurosurgeon.”

Alex smiles, practically able to see the image of Zola telling her mom off for suggesting she be anything other than a surgeon. “That sounds about right. I learned that lesson a long time ago.”

There are a couple of beats of silence, the only thing he can hear is the crickets chirping in the distance and the faint sounds of cars racing around in the background.

“They miss you, you know,” Meredith finally speaks, her tone dropping slightly to let him know how sincere her words were.

He lets out a heavy breath, “I miss them too Mer,” the crickets continue their noise, and images of what his life used to be seem to filter through his mind. An endless loop, dancing in his head of a life he once used to live, but could no longer say he knew.

“Well,” she breaks him away from his thoughts, “When all this is over, you’re due for a visit, okay?”

He nods, even though she can’t see him. “Long overdue,” he agrees. “So, what’s been going on over at Seattle Grace Mercy Death?”

She fills him in on the latest events of the hospital, how everyone was adjusting to their new realities, the newest batch of interns, and patients that had stuck out more than others.

It was a funny thing that he didn’t realize until a while ago, somehow patients at Grey-Sloan had stuck with him more than the ones where he currently was.

“And Jo—” she starts, but cuts herself off, piquing his interest. Jo hadn’t come up in any other of their conversations, for reasons that didn’t really need to be said aloud.

He bites the inside of his cheek, releasing and giving himself the courage to finally ask about her. She never left his mind, so he couldn’t see the harm in asking about her —an opportunity to clear the part of his brain that was on a constant track of her if he was able to know how she was.

“It’s fine Mer, you can talk about her,” he says, running a hand through his hair.

He can hear her sigh, and can practically imagine the head shake she is giving him right then “Not about this, Alex.”

He perks up immediately, “Is she okay? I need you to tell me if she’s not okay Mer,” he demanded, his voice firm, only a trace of worry present if anyone were to listen closely.

(he felt like Elsa, conceal don’t feel)

“What? No,” she scoffs. “Jo’s fine, though I don’t really think you have the right to care about how she is anymore Alex, considering you’re the one that left her,” she scolds him, and he can hear the disappointment in her voice, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

He lets out a heavy breath, trying to fight back the urge to explain himself to her, which would end up in a loud argument of why he shouldn’t have done what he had. He’d had it before, and each time it sent him to bed with all the what if’s playing out in the forefront of his mind.

Except he didn’t live a life of what if’s, he was living a life of right now.

“I know Mer,” he can hear the heaviness in his words, and she must too, since she relents her lecture on him, and he knows that it’ll just come up at another time.

“She’s sleeping with Jackson,” she says it so casually that he almost thinks that she’s joking, but realizes that she’s not when she stays silent.

“...Oh.”

“Yeah.”

He can feel the tenseness of the air, even though they are thousands of miles apart. He clears his throat after a few minutes have passed. “Are they together, or…?” he trails off, unsure of how he’s supposed to feel.

He left her. He left her. He left her. He wants to say that he’s upset that she’s already moved on, but there he was, sleeping in the same bed as his ex-wife and raising their children together, all while they were still married. He couldn’t really have an opinion, because he was the one who ended their relationship in the most cowardly way possible, through a letter sent in the mail, not even giving her the courtesy to tell her the truth to her face.

“No, they’re doing a friends with benefits sort of thing.”

He nods, trying to think of something to say. “Is she happy?” he settles on.

“Not like she once was, but I think she’s getting back there.”

The ache in his heart grows a bit more, because some selfish part of him wants her to only be able to be happy with him, as unfair and cruel as it is. But he smiles bitterly, and the larger part of him is happy for her, happy that she is finally able to have someone make her laugh and smile again.

The sight of headlights coming up the driveway breaks him away from his own mind, and he knows this conversation will have to be finished at another time.

“You did this to yourself Alex,” she says, as if she knows exactly what he’s thinking.

“I know.”

They both hang up, and he greets Izzie with a smile and a kiss on the cheek, wishing that the woman he was curled up on the couch with was someone else.

But it wasn’t, because he made his choice, and now he had to face the reality of a life he chose to live.

[dearingbooks]

The Difference one Woman can make.

Late Friday night in June, we had stopped for a burger on the way to the cinema, we used to do family movie nights at the cinema when a new film came out that the majority of us wanted to watch, this time I was the one who was reluctant to go, sadly we do this significantly less now.  So, stubborn 2015 me, rolling her eyes and dragging her feet up the cinema steps to find our seats to watch the new Jurassic World movie. Pathetic! I thought, why pay money to watch a movie about a dinosaur theme park! My parents had completely lost it! Huffing and puffing I took my seat on the aisle and sipped my blue raspberry slushie and looked up at the big screen. Ugh! I wanted it to be over, quickly. I sat down and shut my mouth, despite not wanting to watch it, I wasn’t going to spoil it for the others; but I didn’t get why they would want to watch it, I watched the trailer before going, was not impressed, it looked dumb!

However, as much as my pre-Jurassic self would not like, I found who I was during that movie, I discovered a whole new admiration for actors and movies. I found that I related to the main female protagonist, Claire Dearing. She did not need a man, or children, she was so focused on her career and let no one boss her around. She was top dog, and I completely fell for this fictional character. I evolved through that movie with her character, I felt content with being a strong female who put career over family. I wanted to embody this fictional woman; I wanted to be her.

On the journey home I typed ‘Claire Dearing actress’ into google and saw this stunning redhead- Bryce Dallas Howard. I immediately recognised her from movies I had watched prior, and I was completely astounded at her range of characters she can portray and portray them well. After scrolling through her Wiki page and reading news articles about her, I learned that she is the daughter of Ron Howard, one of my parents’ favourite people in film.

“Dad, that woman in the movie is Ron Howard's daughter”, I needed to inform my family that my now favourite woman in film is the daughter of my parents’ favourite people in film. My parents were shocked that I enjoyed the movie despite my loud vocalisation of not wanting to watch it.

Googling ‘Bryce Dallas Howard’ became my new after school routine, learning that she applied to acting school as Bryce Dallas to avoid people knowing she is the daughter of an already famous actor and director, and she had met her true love at nineteen and is still happily married to him. Yet what most stuck out to the self-conscious, body hating 2015 me, was that Bryce wasn’t a skinny twig of a woman that you see in most movies, she had classy curves and promoted body positivity despite some backlash the media gave her. I made a connection with this woman I had never met because I too received negative comments about my figure, yet Bryce took that on the shoulder and learned to love herself. I wanted to feel that self-love about myself that she acquired.

After watching Jurassic World, I explored many more fandoms, and from there I became obsessed with movie franchises and TV shows, actors and directors. I could not give you a full list of all of the fandoms I am in, there are too many to count, and they have all played a role in helping me evolve to who I am today. All because I latched onto one character from one movie I did not even want to watch, one film got me hooked on this life: it’s like a drug. I cannot stop. I also went back and forth with my hairstyle due to this woman; in the movie Bryce has a stunning ginger graduated bob with a fringe, however I never had the guts to go ginger until now; shame the hairdressers are all shut.

Now, almost six years later Bryce Dallas Howard has had great success in directing two episodes of The Mandalorian. Over the Christmas break I watched the show with my dad, sat on the sofa, fire lit, the chocolate Labrador curled up between us, peach vodka and diet lemonade in my hand, hot cup of tea in my dad’s. We binge watched both seasons in a week (it’s amazing) and he was shocked to see ‘Directed by Bryce Dallas Howard’ at the end of one, let alone two episodes. “Shit, she’s come far in the past few years” he said putting another episode on.

Bryce allowed me to find my best friend, Iz, through Instagram; Bryce has brought so many people together it is so surreal. And when I found out that Iz was going to Southampton University in 2019, a 20-minute drive from my house, I was finally able to meet her, because of one woman we both adore. I was friends with Iz for three years before I was able to meet her, I asked my school friend to come along with me so she could film the moment Iz, and I met! We got pancakes and watched the second Maleficent movie at the cinema, it was one of the best days of my life. I was so thankful that I met a truly hilarious and loving girl through this one actress! Because of Bryce Dallas Howard, I have made so many other friends from all over the globe as they too idolise Bryce and together we have created the ‘BDH online family’. A small group of us do regular zoom calls to catch up and chat about the recent photos and updates that Bryce has posted on Instagram, talk about Covid-19 and the types of restrictions and lockdown rules each of our countries has. During one of our calls, we had the craziest idea- Invite Bryce to one of our zoom calls. Bryce said yes! And after a few months of organisation, we had the date. The date was-

My.

Birthday.

The day came around and I was so nervous, it was 11pm exactly. The Wi-Fi had cut out fifteen minutes before the call. I was in tears. Mascara down my face, puffy eyes, I joined the call with a few minutes to spare before Bryce joined it. My mum hung around off camera for the first 5 minutes to double check the Wi-Fi was stable, luckily it stabilised. The other girls had never been so glad to see me, everyone was panicked for me; I could not miss it for the world (despite telling my parents, in floods of tears, that I cannot join and that it’s the end of that).

“Kat! You’re here!” “Happy birthday!” “Are you okay? The Wi-Fi sorted?”

They all chimed, happy to see my little face in the bottom right corner of their computer screens. Luckily Iz was there, otherwise it would have been extremely awkward with only one of us since we are known as a duo in the online family, we have to do everything together, we come in a pair and there can’t just be one of us.

“Shit girls, that was stressful”

I hadn’t realised I was holding my breath until I exhaled the large breath when my    Wi-Fi settled, and I was on the call, I fixed my makeup and was ready to meet Bryce.

The few minutes we had before Bryce joined were intense, two of the girls left to get a drink and we weren’t sure if they would be back in time, luckily they did return.

“No way!” One of them, Anna who was hosting the call, gasped “Bryce is in the waiting room!”

We all freak for no more than 10 seconds, we compose ourselves then our faces are reshuffled, and we see this stunning glowing face that we all admire smiling at us. Omg, it's her.

“Hi girls!”

I have never smiled for so long in my entire life, my cheeks hurt afterwards. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining at all, it just hurt as I thought I would only be smiling for half an hour, since that is how long we were told Bryce had. However, we were speaking to Bryce for nearly an hour and a half, she just kept talking and asked us questions! She was so lovely to talk to, so relaxed; it was if I was talking to a friend that I had known for years!

“Before we go I want to all sing Kat a happy birthday!”

My idol wanted to sing me a happy birthday! The other girls were really ecstatic for me, I still can’t believe to this day that The Bryce Dallas Howard wanted to sing to me!

It was both the best and the worst happy birthday song that has be sung to me. It was the best because, well my idol was singing to me! And proposed the singing! It was the worst in terms of the actual song as they were all out of sync and lagging, it was bloody hilarious!

At 10:27pm the next evening, watching a rerun of Game of Thrones on Sky, I got a notification ‘Brycedhoward just posted’, I clicked the notification then see our smiling faces on her page, she posted a screenshot of our call on her social media! The call was supposed to be a secret so other fans weren’t upset. There’s a few snotty comments on the post, but they’re just jealous and to be frank, I don’t care! My smiley face is on her page forever! All ten of us have printed the screenshot of Bryce’s post off and put it in a frame, one day all ten of us hope to congregate somewhere, most likely in America, and sign the backs of all of our photos. I’m still in utter awe and shock-  How many celebrities have you seen that would do a free zoom call with some fans? Not a lot, and that amount is even slimmer when they talk for an extra hour than scheduled. Bryce truly is one of a kind and the best idol anyone could ever hope to have.

Compared to a zoom call with Bryce herself, the few times she has liked my comments on her posts feel like nothing in comparison! I remember being so excited, running downstairs to my parents.

“Mum! Dad! Bryce liked my comment! She knows I exist!”

“Was it actually her? Remember when you got a Facebook request from Robert Downey Jr and it turned out it was a fake account?”

I rolled my eyes at her, it was Bryce, it was her verified account. The comment was a book recommendation I had for her, she posted on her hashtag BDHbookshelf and I thought I’d take a chance and comment a book recommendation I had for her, and the chance paid off.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds with Bryce, she has been such an inspiration to me for the past few years, and she promotes such wonderful causes and body positivity! I hope to one day meet her and thank her in person for changing my life for the better, and I think I’ve come up with the perfect opportunity to meet her- Iz and I have decided to travel up to London for the Jurassic World Dominion premiere in 2022 (if Covid lets us!), we’d get a hotel and actually meet Bryce in person, as well as meeting other members of the online family!

Words cannot fully contain the admiration that I possess for Bryce, her soul is utterly and truly exquisite, she has been such a visionary while I’ve been transitioning from a girl who had no idea who she was with no dreams or aspirations, to a woman who has now found so many new friends and now knows who she wants to be.  

[soundofseventeen]

Cupid’s Chokehold (Kwon Soonyoung)

Hi, I’m excited for this one!!!! I haven’t written anything this good for Hoshi since 7 Things, so here we are!!! I hope y’all like it!!!!!

Inspo: Cupid’s Chokehold

Word count: 6910

Relationship fourteen: met at an amusement park where he hit on the person operating a ride; ended over Soonyoung being 10 minutes late to a date. Time together: Three days short of a four month relationship.

*

Relationship fifteen: met at one of the shopping malls when he was ordering a juice at the food court; ended over Soonyoung racing to keep you company when your date stood you up at a coffee shop. Time together: 24 days.

*

Relationship sixteen:

“Guys, guys, guys, meet my girlfriend!”

In the split second that you looked up from the Superstar Pledis game, you lost your momentum, missed one of the notes, and lost any hope that you could beat the high score challenge, so you just hoped that Soonyoung’s latest fling would be worth losing this. Okay you were exaggerating a little but in your defense you needed all the RP points to help upgrade one of your better cards. You let yourself fail the game and looked up again with a smile on your face. 

“Hi!” Mingyu said brightly, beating you to the punchline and pushing your legs off his lap to stand up and introduce himself better. He took one of her hands in both of his and shook it eagerly. “Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s all mine.” 

You noted that while a little awkward, she didn’t look terrible. (Not that you were judging, but a lot of Soonyoung’s….past loves weren’t always the nicest.You’re looking at relationships three, six and seven here.) 

“You must be Y/N. Soonie talks about you all the time.” 

Soonie.

It took all your self control to not wrinkle your nose in disdain. Literally, every one of his exes called him that, so naturally you hated it. Okay not hated, but it made you wonder if the nickname held some kind of curse because not one relationship succeeded.

“The one and only.” You did however, squint your eyes at her, not recognizing her. “I’m sorry I don’t think we met.”

“I’m Aiko. I work at the vet where Soonie occasionally brings his dog in.”

Ah, no wonder he’s been bugging Seungcheol about his newest love and taking Kkooma out. You opted to stay quiet and not bust your best friend. Yet. He would eventually bust himself. But you had to admit that you were impressed with how often he changed parts of his persona...at least when you didn’t have to scold him how it wasn’t necessary and that the right person would adore him the way he was. 

But, you still had to give her the credit where it was due. “Awww. Which is your favorite pet that’s been by?”

“Definitely the bunnies. We have some clients that own a rabbit farm so we see them a lot.”

“I love bunnies!” Your lips formed a pout, almost crying at the state of fluffy tails and funky teeth biting into the vegetables clouded your thoughts. You snuck a peek at Soonyoung who had hesitantly pulled a thumbs up sign and you gave him the smallest of nods which was the biggest sign for Soonyoung to start smiling widely and that little crack in your heart to split open again.

They didn’t stay much longer; Soonyoung literally just ran to his room to change clothes and grab his charger so no one really had the chance to talk to Aika other than the basics to avoid the awkward silence.

*

You had long ago stopped crying over Soonyoung seeing past you and going for another person but that didn’t mean the pain lessened. (thank you relationship number four.) You were always “my bestest friend in the entire world” or “my platonic soulmate who knows me better than anyone”, never more and you hated it. You just wanted to one day be someone he saw in a different light or at least find one who was like you. Maybe that would hurt less. 

But maybe you were just happy that you didn’t lose sleep over him like you used to or wept into the armrest of your couch watching reruns of the shows you binged watched together.There was some normalcy back in your life but the pain still somehow managed to hit you as hard as it did the first time Soonyoung brought someone around you. 

“No, you dumbass! She’s right there!” You angrily flicked your hand at your phone screen in front of you. Okay, maybe you figured that if you experienced this in real life (as you had many, many times) you realized that even if the person Hoshi ended up with someone who was exactly like you, it’d be a blow to your heart and you weren’t sure how you’d react to that.

“No, don’t go with her...don’t you dare take another….okay, fine ignore me. But don’t come crying to me when you fuck it up.” You really needed to stop watching these movies. Yes, you always knew how it ended, but that didn’t mean your anger wasn’t real. And you just kinda highkey wished it’d happen to you.

“Please stop yelling at your phone and get out of this car before I forcibly take it from you,” Soonyoung threatened.

“You were the one who wanted to come with me to wash my clothes so you’re doing everything at my pace and I swear if you break-”

“Slow down baby...you’re goin’ too fast baby!”

You smacked him. “Listen, if you don’t want all of South Korea to know you’re here, keep your voice down.” 

He clicked a finger gun in your direction and slid out the driver’s side. “Gotcha. But seriously speaking, are you sure that you don’t mind that I invited Aika to hang out with us later?”

“I mean, I have to get to know her eventually, right?” You smiled a little at him. It had been a couple days since the initial introduction but you didn’t know anything else besides the obvious, and her lack of social media posts didn’t help. (You may have stalked her a little.) You finally unbuckled your seatbelt and slid your phone back into your pocket to bring two carts for your dirty laundry.

If it had been up to you, you would’ve come to the laundromat by yourself just have some time for yourself. Being around Seventeen nearly 24/7 took a lot of energy from you, but not in a bad way; you just liked having peace and quiet sometimes. But Soonyoung took it upon himself to use one of his only days off to accompany you and spend the morning with you. He even went as far as bringing breakfast to wake you up. 

He helped you with the detergent and softeners and other essentials because you would’ve been mortified at the thought of him taking your dirty clothes. You werent sure why but you didnt like the thought of him touching anything. He whistled some Shinee song as he walked inside, already knowing which spot you liked. But before you could actually start loading the washing machines, you needed to reload your card because this particular laundromat didn’t use coins anymore. 

You could feel your phone calling out to you to resume your watching and you were tempted to but you needed to do all this first. You took your money out the wallet and topped up the balance and once the washing machines were ready to go, you sat down at one of the tables, your finger itching to hit the play button and proceeded to ignore the rest of the world. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed but you were vaguely aware of Soonyoung disappearing for a moment and returning with the bag of breakfast, sliding a disposable tray to you and setting down a carton of juice. Then he quietly brought out a notebook and doodled on it. Your favorite thing about Soonyoung? He knew when you didn’t wanna be bothered, so he often found ways to entertain himself. Sometimes he watched his own thing; sometimes he read one of Wonwoo’s recommendations; and sometimes he worked on choreo. When it got too silent for his liking, he FaceTimed Chan so he could see exactly what he was working with and any adjustments that could be made. 

“Tell the future of kpop I said hey,” you said absently, taking one of the pre-sliced waffles and biting into it. The plot in front of you had progressed drastically, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to stop watching or keep it going because every move and every word hurt your heart. 

“You tell him! Okay Dino, it looks good, but now try the spin counter clockwise. I wanna see how that looks.”

You stopped watching long enough to put it away and focus on Soonyoung as he went into choreographer mode. Though he was sitting, you watched the way his hands moved and if you stood up, you knew’d be seeing them trying to mirror each other’s actions.

“Hyung, what if we did this-” you could hear Chan’s heavy breathing with the way some nonexistent tempo increased and the way his sneakers squeaked on the floor. “-instead of..” More squeaking and you were pretty sure he had thrown himself on the floor. “This? And if we circle around I’m thinking maybe Mingyu hyung, it could work.”

Soonyoung clapped, bobbing...or probably counting in his head, most likely picturing whatever he saw Dino doing, and smiled brightly. “I like it! If we can saturate the movement a little more-” more hand movements and a couple of foot stomps, “- I think we can get him to pull it off.” He stood up, made sure he wasn’t disturbing anyone else and mimicked the younger boy’s action.

You nodded along, breaking out into your own smile at watching him. Your heart ached for him, but you knew you had to content yourself with how you were. You couldn’t risk losing him.

*

“I’m telling you Y/N, I think she could be the one,” Soonyoung sighed dreamily. 

“So you’re telling me that because this woman makes you pancakes any time you visit her in the morning, she’s made for you?” you stared off into space, making a confused face as to how in the world that could add up. “You don’t even like breakfast foods.”

“But when she makes them...oh my god. I even told my mom about her.”

You didn’t have it in you to tell him that not only did his mom video call you and shake her head at the proclamation, but she also expressed her worry about him jumping into a new relationship every time he came home with a broken heart and how one day, he wouldn’t be able to go back to himself. You understood her; since Seventeen’s debut, he had been in 15 different relationships, more than all the boys put together, none of which lasted longer than eight months. (Needless to say, you kept track.)

“You believe me, right?”

“Eat your ice cream Soonie.”

“You know it doesn’t even sound cute when you say it.” He wrinkled his nose at you. “Just for that, you’re paying for our dessert.” He pulled out his wallet and slid it out to you. “Go.”

You pulled out his credit card, frowning a little.

“What?”

“Nothing...it’s just don’t you keep a picture of Aiko in here?”

“Nah, I’m new school.”

“Didn’t you steal one of the boys’ phones the other day to complain to the phone company that yours stopped working?”

“Hey, it wasn’t my fault that I forgot that it was still updating. Shut up.”

You threw your head back and laughed before going to pay the nice lady for some of the best homemade treats you ever tasted. You patted Soonyoung���s head fondly, resisting the urge to wrap your arms around his neck and just hugging him for being so funny. Good thing too, because when the little bell dinged announcing a new arrival, the Japanese beauty came in and Soonyoung was up so fast, he nearly dropped the chair. He spoke animatedly, doing some kind of handshake you knew was only for them and then pointed to you, which you waved politely and pushed her your way.

“Always hyperactive, isn’t he?” she laughed when she joined you. “I told him I just had lunch but he swears the muffins are the best here. What do you think?”

“They’re good if you have a sweet tooth, but I personally like the cookies.”

“I’ll have whatever you like then,” Aiko smiled at you. “I’m sorry if I’m awkward by the way. I’m nervous.”

“About? Hi, I’ll take some of those too, and then we’ll be ready to pay.”

“Soonie talks about you like you put the stars in the sky so I’m a little scared to say the wrong thing.” Not the first time you heard that, but you heard it with relationship number 10 (you think.)

“Honestly, just treat him right, and we’ll be okay.” She didn’t have to know how unlucky Soonyoung was...the cheaters, the manipulators, the insecure ones who swore you were stealing him away, the ones who wanted him for his fame and/or fortune and even a couple who only used him to get to you. Every single one ended up with him at your house in the middle of the night and the cheap takeout place that delivered at any hour seemed to be his only cure. Most of the time he didn’t go home and called the leader to say he wouldn’t be going to work the next day. Some days, he used the time to go to the beach or out of town, but sometimes he liked staying in and watching movies...both of which included you.

“Okay.” She received the bag of sweets from the old lady and skipped back to her boyfriend who placed his hand on her hair and kissed it and then gave you two thumbs up. That was your cue to leave, despite him insisting you stay but you really needed to put your laundry away before you decided to leave it by your entrance until it was time to wash again. (Or so you reasoned with yourself to not interrupt them.) Aiko seemed to be the best one for Soonyoung so far, and while it still killed you to see him with someone else, at least she was nice about things. You slipped out, noticed only by your best friend who looked betrayed at you leaving but you texted him your excuse. 

It did, however, surprise you when you opened your front door and you cried all over again, the bitter tears stinging for feeling like a bad person for not wanting it to go as well as it was.

*

“Special delivery!” you cried out to the boys at Pledis in their practice room a month later. “I’ve got some things for my favorite boys.” Comeback season always proved to be more strenuous than the last and you hated how little you saw of them. In their earlier days, you would’ve seen at least one of them roaming Seoul, but alas.

“You’re a lifesaver!” Hansol took one of the plastic bags from you and dug through it, frowning when that one didn’t hold what he was looking for.

“I never said these were for you. I was talking about Nu’est.” (Dongho had taken your treats to his group mates though, but they didn’t need to know that.) However, you handed him the correct bag and he pulled out a small bag of M&Ms, yelling triumphantly and they took turns searching for their requested items.

“Where’s Tiger Brain?” you asked, looking around. He had originally asked you to bring him another pair of sweats because he had ripped them. Again. They currently hung over your arm while you picked the lint off of them.

“Recording studio.” Jihoon opened his can of Coke and somehow managed to drink the whole thing in a single chug. Impressive if not concerning.

“Why?” You counted 12 heads, three different times. No one else was missing. 

“Aiko’s here and she looks pissed.” Junhui then stuffed his face with the lunch you brought for him, in case he had said too much.

“I haven’t done anything!” Your reflexive defense whenever things had gotten rocky for the lovebird in paradise. Always true, but no one ever seemed to believe you until they had seen that you did indeed mind your business. This time was no different.

“We never said you did. Chill.”

“Do I need to go in and clarify something?”

“That might make it worse.” Minghao looked around to see if anyone would hear them. “When she asked for him, it was because she wanted to talk to him about his dog...or rather Cheol’s dog.”

So she found out. “It isn’t something to be mad over.” You had known people who did that, but no one ever had to stop working in the middle of the day over it. 

“When i went to ask him for the notebook with the new dance, she was telling him about the phone call he had with you.”

“Which one?” Now you could feel the annoyance tingling at your fingertips. You always called him and he you, none of which were ever important. The most recent one being him calling you at 2:33 last night (er this morning) when he asked if he should dye his hair red or green or maybe yellow….to which you yelled at him for waking you up. But how did she know about that one? For one moment you wondered if she found a way to bug your phone...it happened in relationship number five. Creepy and unsettling and the paranoia still hadn’t left you.

“I guess she saw you the other day shopping for groceries-”

“You know, sometimes my stomach likes to remind me that I need to be fed. Just a crazy thought.”

Minghao pointed at you dramatically. “This is my story time, peasant.” He waited for you to close your mouth again. “Now, I don’t know what the gist was but apparently you saw her and said something about going to the beach with him.”

Classic word twisting...relationships one through now apparently. “Yeah, we were thinking that after this comeback that we wanted to take everyone out because, you know, you all work hard and don’t take any breaks.” Originally, it had been just for you two, then Seungcheol and Jihoon had cut into the conversation, wanting Soonyoung’s opinion for something they wrote, and from there, Soonyoung said something about a leader line getaway with you, and then Wonwoo’s voice sounded and before you knew it, bam...beach day with OT13. You had a run in with her around that time and you talked about it, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. But you had felt sick now about it, so you smiled and handed the sweats over to one of the boys and decided to go home before you got caught here. On your way out, you picked up a few wrappers that they managed to throw on the floor and went to throw them away when you saw a stack of burned pancakes inside.

“Aiko brings him breakfast some mornings but when she’s in a bad mood, she burns them,” Joshua said quietly dumping his own trash in there. “It’s been happening a lot.”

You said nothing. The one thing about Soonyoung’s relationships you didn’t keep track of? How many of them felt threatened by you near the end. You had lost count.

*

The time on your phone displayed 12:46 am when someone knocked on your door and Soonyoung’s I’m outside text followed shortly after. You sighed a deep sigh, one that came from your tired soul because you knew this was coming and you could feel the beginning of end. The end being your patience hollowing before you expressed how tired you were of his stupidity and possibly ruined your friendship. 

“Let’s go out tomorrow,” he said as his greeting. “I feel like we haven’t done anything together lately.”

“Comeback season, remember?” You wanted to shake your head at him, noticing the way he was wired up and in the way you wanted see him

“But that’s not really an excuse to ditch you. My treat.” He smiled at you hopefully, pleading for you to say yes so you nodded. 

You picked up your phone, ready to place an order on the familiar app. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes! I thought you’d never ask!”

In the middle of his kimchi soup dinner, he spilled everything, not even looking at you as he told you everything you missed. You didn’t bring up being at Pledis or seeing the spoiled food, and you could tell he was grateful.

“Hey Y/N?”

“What?”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

You wanted to joke about the infinite number of things just to make him smile, but in his vulnerable state, you couldn’t, just because you knew how he’d take it to heart. (You’ve learned from that mistake.) You just shook your head. “You’re human.” He nodded slowly, trying to enjoy his dinner, but slurping but slurping the noodles so slowly. You sighed. 

Relationship ended over: Jealousy and insecurity. Time together: two months, two weeks.

*

Relationship seventeen: Soonyoung accompanied Jeonghan to get a car fixed and flirted with the secretary; ended over the secretary accusing Jeonghan of trying to scam the company when you somehow got involved saying you had saved some receipts; time together: 43 days.

*

Relationship eighteen: attempted to rekindle something with your neighbor across the street; ended over the neighbor being engaged; time together: 0 days

*

Relationship nineteen: befriended a tourist and offered himself to show off the sites and best places to visit. (No mention of you, but details); ended when the tourist had to go back home but the pair promised to remain friends; time together 20 days

*

Relationship twenty:

“You’re in my seat.”

You looked up at the stranger confused, the fluorescents of Pledis lights blinding you momentarily. “I’m sorry, I always sit here. I’m waiting for my friends to get here-” You blinked, trying to adjust to the lighting.

“Bongcha, you’re here!” Though the voice was very familiar, you were very confused when Soonyoung dashed by you and ran to the stranger….Bongcha, you assumed her name was, and hugged her. “It’s so good to see you!” he turned to you. “Hey you! I wasn’t expecting to see you today!” He made this grand hand gesture to the person he was talking to, not even wondering why you were here this early. “This is Bongcha! She’s my girlfriend. Bongcha, this is the spectacular, marvelous, beautiful, wonderful, talented, amazing-”

“Are you gonna get to the point soon or are you just gonna waste your breath?” Mini tour season, you guessed? He was only ever this hyped up whenever someone told him they were going to sing their hearts out.

“Y/N,” he finished. “My best friend in the whole entire world that I adore to bits even when I’m treated like this.”

Bongcha nodded at you once she looked you over, but didn’t say much else. “I was waiting to see if you’re done with rehearsals so we can go have dinner.”

Okay, she wasn’t gonna acknowledge your presence, which you were fine with. You weren’t here to see her, or even Soonyoung, really. But dinner already? It was still somewhere between the breakfast/lunch area. Whatever though. “Do you know if Seokmin is done with whatever you’re doing?” you asked him instead.

His mouth formed an ‘o’. “You’re finally gonna take my advice and one of my friends? I like it.”

“Gross, no. He wanted to know if he could tag along with me to the eye doctor and I said I’d meet him here.”

“But you didn’t ask me?” He looked hurt, despite the fact his girlfriend was there, clinging to his arm, ready to pull away when she heard enough.

“Our appointments are literally back to back. You’re not missing much. I’ll see you later though?”

“Okay, yeah...ye-whoa. I’ll see you later then. You’re really strong Bongcha.”

As it turned out...you needed a stronger pair of glasses, but so did Seokmin so it wasn’t a complete loss. He treated you (after looking offended at the thought of you paying your meal) to a McDonald’s lunch, raving about the time he and Wonwoo accidentally broke one of the soda machines during their predebut days and then dove into a different topic how they were hitting the road again soon just to blow off some steam and he was excited but he was gonna miss you, because he always felt like he saw you the least, so you offered to go shopping for some friendship bracelets so he wouldn’t be alone and the big baby really broke out into his big grin at the thought and ushered you out the door before you request dessert. If only your heart could want Seokmin the way it wanted Soonyoung.

Bongcha, huh?

*

Seventeen being gone meant that you could catch up (and even get ahead in some cases) on everything you neglected during your free time. Sometimes you wondered how you still had a job because of how easily you dropped it for them, but some mysteries didn’t need to be solved. 

You stocked up on groceries and snacks, and even bought yourself new bedsheets to change the theme in your room, nearly deciding to redecorate the entire place with a sudden burst of inspiration. You nulled the idea when you realized just how much effort it’d actually take, but you did compromise on silverware….and maybe even plates but nothing too crazy. 

You managed to spy Bongcha at the post office once, but she deliberately looked away before you could wave, and normally you’d be hurt about it, but there was no way that whatever she had with Soonyoung could last. You could attest to all the rude ones but it wasn’t worth telling Soonyoung about it. It’s not that he wouldn’t believe you, but he’d confront her, and then take you both somewhere to “work out your differences” and he wouldn’t leave you alone until you swore you were friends now. No thank you.

Most of the time when he called you, he let you in on the details of the small tour like who messed up the lyrics (he was looking at Seungcheol here), or how Seungkwan deciding to play marco polo in the pool and accidentally scared one of the kids when Jun pulled his leg underwater. You loved their antics and sometimes you wished you could take them up on the offer and go on tour with them at least once, but you needed your space from them. And before you knew it, they were finally done and they’d be back.

“Y/N, it could be her. I can feel it.”

Even in your sleepy haze, you could hear the ridiculousness at how he sounded. You paused the FaceTime call, clock letting you know it was 3:17 am and Seventeen was just getting home from the home country tour but he wanted to stop by her house first to surprise her. He had been giving you shit about always going to the first and last concerts but never more unless you had the money for it, but nonetheless letting you know the basics that happened, but now he was letting you know that he was serious about Bongcha. “Oh god.”

“I mean it. Like I talked to my dad about her and I wanna take her to home so she can meet them once we can go on vacation. You should hear the way she says my name.”

“Oh Soonie, you’re so cute. Oh Soonie, you’re the best. Oh Soonie…” you actually had to stop yourself from gagging. That nickname would be the death of you. 

“You know, it’s still not cute when you say it. I don’t know why, but I don’t like it. So just for that, you’re buying me lunch when I-” The phone clattered to the floor and you woke up finally at being dropped.

“Hosh?” Nothing. “Soonyoung?” And then you saw a brief flash of light, and then you could see the denim and you lost vision so you could assume Soonyoung threw you in his pants….or shorts….whatever. 

“What is this?!” You could finally hear him. “Who the fuck is this?!”

Oh shit….that was gonna be awkward. “Soonyoung?” Not like he could hear you but still worth a shot. “Hey, are you okay?” A deeper, unfamiliar voice spoke up, probably answering his question but still sounding muffled. You pressed the speaker as close to your ear as possible, straining to hear anything. “Soonyoung, don’t do anything stupid.” You could hear his deep breaths.

“I...you...and this...you’re joking right? This...it hasn’t been happening right?”  The way he struggled to keep his composure broke you and you just wished you could find the humor in how he spoke, so bright and so happy, the denial. “It has? Okay, well...have a nice life. Just delete my number. And you...I could so kick your ass right now. No, don’t get up.” 

“SOONYOUNG!” you yelled when you heard something break and a door slam. 

“Change of plans Y/N, I’m coming over.” He offered no other explanation and hung up on you.

*

“Is there something wrong with me?” The question you always hated to answer and with every heartbreak just made you wanna lock in his house somewhere and not leave until he didn’t have a rebound. He’s had cheating girlfriends before, but this was the first time he saw it with his own eyes, and it was different in a sense. 

Nonetheless, you were honest. “It wasn’t your fault, you know. Some people can’t stay committed.” You wanted to reach over and take his hand in yours, seep out all his pain and carry it with you, but you stayed put. He stared at his bowl of soup, not even bothering to eat it. Your own food remained untouched too, no doubt more cold than warm already. 

Soonyoung finally put his face in his hands. “What’s wrong with me Y/N? Why can’t I ever find someone who stays?”

“Do you ever think that maybe you jump into a relationship too fast without even thinking?” 

“No...I always make sure I’m over someone.”

“Twenty relationships since debut isn’t normal Soonyoung.” He raised his head to look at you, tears ready to spill out in case you said something to push him over the edge, but didn’t say anything, listening, waiting. “I think that maybe after your breakup, you come to me and then you’re here with me, and then a couple days later, it’s like you bounce back and repeat the cycle.”

“Where the hell did you get 20?” he asked, but didn’t let you explain yourself. “Where did I meet 20 people that have somehow made me their boyfriend?” 

“It’s just that...every time someone new comes into your life….you just go so into...and I don’t know...you swear they’ve become some part of your life and you look so happy….I don’t know. Twenty.”

“Do you really think that of me? Do you really think that I’m like that?”

“Soonyoung, it’s almost four in the morning; you literally came to me because your ex-girlfriend is cheating on you. You have done this every single time in the past. You just called Cheol to let him know you’re not going in tomorrow because you’re staying here. I’m sorry, but did you even ask?” you realized he never did; he just assumed you’d let him every time and you have. “Later this week, you’re gonna on your own doing who knows what because it’s all too much for you and you’re gonna meet someone. You’re gonna get to them, tell me about it and then it goes wrong.”

“It’s not 20. Hell, it’s not even 10. Am I that desperate to fill a void in my heart? But even if it was, why the hell are you counting who comes into my life?”

“Because I care! I hate seeing you like this. I can’t stand you-” 

“Okay, I’m gone.” He stood up abruptly. “I won’t come back next time.” He pulled out his wallet, took out a few bills and tossed them on the couch. “Here. I’m so sorry I ruined dinner, but I hope this makes up for it.”

“Where are you going? Take your money; I don’t want it.”

“I’m going to my dorm because apparently no one cares how I feel when I’m there. Good night.”

Relationship twenty (not twenty?): ended over a cheater; time together: three months; additional comments: thank you Bongcha for this fight. You just lost your best friend.

*

Much like Soonyoung’s relationships, you counted the days since Soonyoung stopped speaking to you. It’s been 87 days. Your texts and calls went unanswered and the boys pretty much made excuses about Soonyoung not being able to come to the phone when you called them. It didn’t matter; it was fine. You loved being ignored anyways. You didn’t need him; that's why you had your kdramas to get you through the heartache. At least things could work out in a fictional universe. 

Still you cursed yourself for ending up at Pledis and signing in at the front because apparently your pride wasn’t gonna let you have this. You waved to Hyerin who was discussing a possible collab with Beomju, but neither saw you, so  you went on your way to find anyone of the 13 boys who could help you. Your first stop was the recording section with Jihoon playing producer and Jeonghan behind the mic. Joshua was in the corner showing Seokmin how to play the song he liked and Seungkwan occasionally sang the lyrics to “I HATE YOU”  but everyone stopped everything when you opened the door. Although sudden, none of them seemed surprised to see you, but annoyed at being interrupted. 

“Where’s Soonyoung? I need to talk to him. Please don’t tell me he isn’t here.” Your voice sounded tired, and if you heard any type of rejection, you were sure to cry.

“Practice room,” Jihoon said at last, lips pursed, ready to tell you more but thought against it. “It’s a unit day practice so he’s probably showing them a new routine.” He turned his attention back to Jeonghan. “Sorry Hyung. Take it from the top please.”

Seokmin flashed you a quick thumbs up before handing the guitar to Joshua and you just hoped he’d be there. You ran into Vernon on your way over, showing you some parts of the latest rap, and you just accepted the bad omen. Because really, what could be worse than him saying “goodbye”? At least he treated you as if it wasn’t the last time he was gonna see you, but you weren’t sure if that was a good thing and then he disappeared into the room with the vocal unit practiced.

You took a deep breath when you arrived, preparing for the worst, and you knocked gently. You waited a few seconds then you opened the door and were immediately greeted with loud music. Chan and Minghao were stretching on the floor, laughing at some joke and Junhui wiped the sweat from his face. They weren’t surprised to see you either, but now you wanted to know who spilled that you were here because it hadn’t even been five minutes, according to your phone, but man it felt longer than that. The three wordlessly pointed to the furthest corner where Soonyoung chugged a bottle of water in record time.

“Hyung?” Chan called out and he reflexively turned around. “You have a visitor.”

He nodded and the boys dispersed pretty quickly, leaving only the awkward silence, tension and more distance between you than you would’ve liked. You took his sweet time coming to you, making you more nervous by the second. He normally ran up to you as if you had been gone for years and he couldn’t wait to be at arm’s length. You just wanted him to return to normal, or even just run you out of his life already. You couldn’t handle this anymore. By the time he reached you, you wanted him to stay faraway from you. Your hands clammed up and the fight or flight response kicked.

“It hasn’t been 20 relationships,” he said quietly. “It hasn’t even been half, probably half of those at most.” he kicked at the floor. “God why would you even think that? Why couldn’t you ever think I missed you after a long day?”

“You were never at my door unless you wanted to forget someone.”

“Do you think it‘s easy to forget you? Did you ever think that there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to be with, relationship or not? Finding you in everyone was exhausting. Okay, maybe a few of them did get past the whole, ‘maybe-I-can-get-over-Y/N’ phase, but, it’s hard.”

“No, don’t do that.” you shook your head, not quite believing what you were hearing.

“You’re my best friend Y/N. I hate everything we’ve come to because I can’t think straight. Okay yeah, maybe every time something finishes, I think that maybe I can tell you, but then you’re here next to me, and I don’t wanna fuck it up. Did you know I had a dream one time where you had fallen in love with me but i didn’t notice because I was flirting with someone named Minseo and when you finally told me, i was already with her, but you told me in a letter and I told you to get out of my life?”

“Soonyoung, who would be stupid enough to do that? Of all things someone can do.” And then you smacked him. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Do you know much we could’ve avoided. I’ve kept track of all of them...everyone that hurt you, everyone you hurt, mutual fallouts, it’s all there. Why did you wait until all this happened?” You could feel yourself falling to the floor in relief.

“What do you mean why did I wait this long? I want to stay in your life even if you don’t feel that way about me.” He joined you on the floor. “I’m sorry for walking away the other night. But please tell me about shit like this because I can tell you how many girlfriends I’ve had. But that was my bad too…” he rambled off.

“I’m sorry for accusing you,” you stared at his shoes, your shoes. He wanted his shoe to nudge yours; you could see it; you wanted him to do it too. “You’re not exactly easy to forget either. I guess I forget that you’re a big part of my life and not having you around,” you took a deep breath, “it hurts. But I want you to be happy with your life choices and who you end up with, even if it isn’t with me.”

Soonyoung nodded, not really quite sure what to do with the information. He stayed quiet though, sliding closer to you until your shoulders were touching and he finally bumped his shoe with yours. He stared at his reflection, then yours, focusing on the way you stared at your feet bumping into each other. “Hey Y/N?” 

You looked up at him shyly, and you could swear you heard his heartbeat picking up. “Yeah?” He caressed your cheek gingerly and tilted your chin up to meet his maze and pressed a soft kiss to your lips

*

“Are you still there?”

You waited a few seconds before you answered, a smile making its way across your face. “Yeah.”

 “Okay, good. What are you doing right now?”

“Eww, I think I liked it better when you guys weren’t dating.” Wonwoo. “At least you spared us these conversations.”

“Nothing since the last time you asked. I’m in the living room right now. Are you coming over today?”

“If you want me to. How’s Tigger?” You could hear him say something to Wonwoo and the other person there, most likely asking him about some color schemes.

“Down for his nap. I guess the shot tired him out, but I can at least get more things done.” 

“Yeah, we adopted a cat and we named him Tigger; we got him earlier this week and we just took him to the vet this morning. Yeah, we’re painting the bathroom tomorrow. How much is the total?”

“Damn, move in already. You guys are gross. Wait, is that...Y/N guess what?!”

“What?” You jumped at being acknowledged suddenly. “I don’t need to go take him my credit card, do I?”

“No.”

The warm fuzzy feeling crept up into your insides. Somehow it had all come together after his years of heartache. His parents had been thrilled when they found out when you got together, and it seemed that the boys breathed collective sighs of relief at seeing you two, but nothing compared to what Wonwoo said next.

“He has a picture of you in his wallet and he carries it with him everywhere.”

[ariadnelives]

Chapter 7 -- The Nightmare

[Missed earlier chapters? Go catch up here! Otherwise, welcome back! Oh, and make sure to join our discord server! Chapter can also be found @ ao3]

“I hate this lady so much,” Pilar practically snarled as she adjusted the ship's course. “Was she ever young, do you think?”

“Nah,” Ariadne said from the passenger seat, trying in vain to get a spoon to stick to her nose, “I feel like she's probably been an unpleasant old crone forever.”

“She was probably already on Calisto when they got there and they just built the bio-dome around her stupid rocking chair.”

The Jovian moon Calisto was now within visual range, and the rest of the viewport was filled with yellow and orange swirls. No matter how many operations they ran through the colonial moons, they never quite got used to the scale of a gas giant. Jupiter and Saturn took their breath away every time they looked at them. Something primal and hard-coded into their DNA told them that this was not something they were meant to see, and yet, here they were, a stone's throw from Jupiter.

The ship pulled closer to Calisto and Ariadne abandoned her spoon effort to pull out fake IDs to get into the bio-dome.

They got into the dome without incident, found a small garage to park in, and gave an almost comically large tip to the downtrodden-looking lot attendant.

La Pesadilla's high-rise apartment was at the top of a building whose elevator was constantly broken. While a woman of her means would be able to have it fixed, she liked that it was broken because it meant anyone who wanted to visit her would have to take the stairs.

Ariadne quickly repaired the electromagnets, actually making the elevator much faster than it was before it had broken, and wrote “HA” on the “Out of Order” sign. They were at her door in seconds.

La Pesadilla answered and, like Jupiter, her appearance never ceased to shock Ariadne and Pilar. At a glance, one might guess she was 90 years old. Her skin was eerily reminiscent to a well-worn catcher's mitt both in texture and coloration. Her expression was about as friendly as a large-mouth grouper, and under her tattered bathrobe was an inexplicable t-shirt depicting what appeared to be a zebra wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigar. Whether she wore pants under the bathrobe was up for speculation.

She walked with a cane, even though she did not need one, simply because she liked to jab it at people when speaking.

“You didn't fix my elevator, did you?” she more snarled than said.

“Nope,” Ariadne lied.

“Good, I like it broken,” La Pesadilla grumbled, “makes it harder for people to drop by and ask me favors.”

There was a moment of silence in the hall as Pilar and Ariadne struggled to find the words to respond to this statement.

“Well, come in if you're coming in,” she said, gesturing into the apartment with her cane, “I pay to air condition the inside of the apartment, not the hallway. Every second this door is open is a waste of my money.”

Ariadne and Spacebreather, still at a loss for response, stepped into La Pesadilla's apartment.

The place was decorated like a family-style restaurant, which is to say, the walls were covered with hundreds of curios, oddities, and other units of nonsense which begged the question, “what exactly is the difference between vintage collectibles and old garbage?”

Two other women sat on an overstuffed couch in the corner, their focus divided between small information terminals affixed to the armrests and a holographic table at the center of the room playing an old rerun of Val Deimos, P.I. at an almost obscenely loud volume.

“Balotelli's cheating on his wife again,” said the one on the left, a relaxed-looking black woman of approximately 70 with wraparound sunglasses (worn indoors for reasons that were known only to her) and a blue-and-purple sweater knitted to look like a particularly starry galaxy that Ariadne thought might be subtly swirling and twinkling. “How much do you think he'll pay us to keep it under wraps this time?”

“No dice,” replied the one on the right, a strong-jawed white woman of perhaps 65, wearing a tank top, cargo pants, and combat boots with an iron-gray buzz cut. With one hand, she rapidly tapped on her terminal. With the other, she repeatedly lifted a rather heavy hand weight. She did not seem to break eye contact at any point with the flickering rerun streaming on the surface of the coffee table. “His wife knows. Hired a private dick to tail them last week. Tried to have 'em whacked but lost her nerve at the last second.”

“Do we have the records?” Galaxy-sweater asked.

“I have the contract here,” Tank-top replied.

“We double down. He's up for reelection in May, and I'm sure neither of them wants the scandal breaking in April. Probably pay a pretty penny to keep it under wraps.”

“Sex, betrayal, and intrigue?” Tank-top asked. “This sounds like a pretty valuable story. It'd be a shame if some reporter outbid them for it.”

“Oh my god,” Ariadne cut in, “do you always talk in clichéd banter or is this for our benefit?”

Tank-top stopped her arm curls for half a second and then continued. Galaxy-sweater raised an eyebrow at her.

“Who's this lunchbox?” Galaxy-sweater asked in a derisive way that seemed to be second nature to mean old ladies and made even the most baffling of insults seem to make sense.

“This is that brat I was telling you about,” La Pesadilla growled.

Tank-top did not look away from her television program. “The one who always fixes the elevator?”

“I think so,” La Pesadilla grumbled. She wandered into the kitchen but continued speaking, incrementally increasing the volume of her voice so she could still be heard. “Her name starts with an A, and her wife here is named after … I don't know, some kind of rice dish.”

Pilar pondered this for a moment and resolved to ask Cookie about it later on.

“Shoot, hope that elevator is fixed.” Galaxy-sweater smiled, “I got bad knees and shit to do.”

La Pesadilla returned with two brightly colored plastic cups, filled with a cloudy yellow substance. She practically shoved these into the hands of her guests with a grunt.

“What do… what is…” Ariadne was uncharacteristically at a loss for words. She was barely reaching adulthood herself and she still had very little experience in the department of respecting her elders. She suspected that perhaps sixty percent of the people in the room were not acting as they should, but she was unsure of where she fell in that ratio.

“It's lemonade.” La Pesadilla removed a smallish disc-shaped tin from her bathrobe pocket, pulled out a handful of leaves, jammed them into her cheek, and began chewing them. “You're kids, you drink lemonade. You're in my house, I offer you a drink. The elevator's out of order, you take the fucking stairs instead of trying to fix it. There's rules to this sort of thing.”

“I said I didn't fix your elevator,” Ariadne stammered.

“You always say that.” La Pesadilla rolled her eyes. “What do you want? You're talking through our program.” She gestured at the hologram. The show was popular enough that Pilar had seen this particular episode several times with her parents, and since she had not had parents in approximately a decade, it was a safe bet it was not their first viewing.

“You could always pause it while we conduct our business,” Pilar offered in a tone she hoped would come across as helpful. She took a polite sip of her lemonade, which had no ice and seemed to be little more than powdered mix stirred into room-temperature tap water.

“You could've shown up on the hour, like a normal person, so you don't interrupt the last five minutes of my show.” La Pesadilla slumped into an old, heavily-patched recliner, searched for a small metal jar, and spat the leaves out into it. “So, spit it out.”

Galaxy-sweater let out a small “heh” at her phrasing.

“Why do you come here and bother me again?”

Ariadne finally seemed to find her voice. “We're looking for information.”

“Well, you've come to the right place,” Tank-top grunted, somehow still lifting her weight, “we've got all of it.”

“The Red God cult that's formed on Mars in the last year or so. We need to know everything we can about them.”

“What do we get?” La Pesadilla asked. “I mean, you're asking me to do the opposite of my job here. People pay me to keep their secrets. If I tell you about these guys, I ain't got no leverage on 'em, can't charge 'em for my services, feel? If I'm gonna spill the beans, I gotta know it's worth more than keeping my mouth shut.”

“Cut the crap,” Pilar said simply, “money is no object to us, and I think you'll be pleased with the amount we've deposited in your account as an act of good faith.”

La Pesadilla tapped at her display and raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Well, I'll be damned.”

“You'll get the other half when we have our information,” Pilar said.

La Pesadilla looked at Galaxy-sweater and nodded.

“Think we got something on them.” Galaxy-sweater said, tapping away on her own display. “Yeah, their leader's this fancy scientist turned whacked-out bible nut, calls himself the Zealot.”

“Real original nickname,” Tank-top added.

“Got into some real shady shit.” Galaxy-sweater furrowed her brow at the display. “We got our hands on a few black market ledgers about 20 years back, and the shit he was buying? Banned on just about every rock in the system.”

“Why would someone selling illegal goods on the black market keep a ledger of their customers?” Ariadne wondered out loud. Galaxy-sweater looked at her flatly and gestured vaguely at the blackmail operation they were currently sitting in the middle of. Ariadne took a sip of her lemonade. “I see.”

“You said 20 years ago?” Pilar looked confused. “These guys have only been operating for the past year, year and a half.”

“Nah,” La Pesadilla grunted, “they been around longer'n you kids have been alive. The Red God stuff is new. They used to walk around the moons, door to door, saying that the Earth was a New Sodom that was to be destroyed due to its sin and heresy and that the only way to be sure Jesus would spare the rest of the system was to join their church.”

“Or make a donation,” Tank-top said.

“Course, the day they predicted came and went.” Galaxy-sweater chuckled. “The Earth was still there. Then that happened, oh, five or six more times before everyone stopped giving them the time of day.”

“Buncha idjits,” La Pesadilla mumbled, “Jesus don't need our money, and he's got a whole universe to run. He doesn't go around blowing up planets because some people didn't pray right. All he cares about is if you're a good person. He don't even care if you believe in him if you ask me, just live your life best you can and he won't bother you.”

“Like bees?” Galaxy-sweater asked, smirking.

“Exactly, like bees. You don't bother him, he don't bother you.”

Ariadne thought this moralizing was rich coming from a professional blackmailer, and she couldn't help but think she'd been given the same advice about what to do when you encounter a swarm of bees, but she bit her tongue to avoid starting another tangent.

La Pesadilla took a sip from a nearby mug that seemed to be full of red wine. “Anyway, nobody bought his end-is-nigh crock and, last I heard, he was a pretty sick fucker. He bought a bunch of illegal shit and went underground. Nobody heard from them for a while, and they came back with a new god and a shiny new preacher. Little white girl, 'bout your age.”

Ariadne scowled. “Not even close.”

La Pesadilla matched her scowl. “Kid, if we're talking years, I'm easily five of you. You both got all your original teeth? You're the same age, far as I'm concerned.”

“What exactly did he buy?” Pilar attempted to break the tension. She, at times, was confused by Ariadne's talent for locking horns with grumpy older women, but suspected this was a deeper issue than they had time to unpack at the moment.

Galaxy-sweater looked at her screen. “We got three Cortex brand neural implants. Those things were all the rage back in the 90s, companies used to get them for all the employees so memos would go right to their brain.”

Tank-top laughed slightly. “Yeah, but they got banned pretty quick.”

La Pesadilla took another sip of mug-wine. “Security risk… a lot of bosses got caught snooping in their employee's thoughts. There was one big scandal where a manager tried to increase productivity by planting thoughts in his employees heads while they slept. An entire office working 16-hour shifts and sleeping at their desks because their brain was telling them 'if I stop working I'll die, if I ask for overtime I'll die, if I make a mistake I'll die.'”

“Yikes,” Ariadne concluded. “Go on, what else?”

“Blueprints for immersion pod,” Galaxy-sweater  explained, “That's a VR capsule that uses the brain's visualization center as a processor to create realistic simulations of pre-programmed scenarios. Originally designed for video gaming, scrapped because every focus tester who attempted to play a children's shoot-em-up game had to be treated for very real PTSD, and made illegal after the prototypes were found being used as training simulators for a radical Earth-based supremacist paramilitary corps.”

“I'm sensing a theme here,” Pilar chimed in.

“Here's where it gets really interesting,” Galaxy-sweater said, pointing at the screen, “he bought up a bunch of medical equipment. Machines for growing and implanting new organs.”

“Shouldn't need that,” Tank-top piped up, still watching her show but seeming to slow down on the weights. “I know he was sick, but if he needed a transplant he could get one at any hospital and be home for supper.”

“Could've been for implanting the Cortex device,” Ariadne suggested.

“Could be,” La Pesadilla said. “We ain't here to speculate, we just give you the information.”

“Aaaaand,” Galaxy-sweater reached the end of her list, “one Quantum Shift Generator. Weird little devices, designed for the Shop-n-Go corporation. They had this idea for expanding to the colonial moons that they could just build a single store interior which all of their storefronts would lead into, that way they could have a dozen stores in a bio-dome but only pay one set of overworked employees.”

“Wonder why that got banned.” Ariadne smirked.

“If you're thinkin' it's some worker's rights whatever, you're wrong,” La Pesadilla grumbled, pouring herself another mug of wine from a bottle that had been conveniently located next to the mug on the table. “It's because all the exterior doors led to the same interior, but they ain't give you the same courtesy on the way out.”

“What she's trying to say,” Tank-top said, placing her weight on the ground and reaching for a nearby bottle of water, “is that people would attempt to leave the store only to find themselves coming out of the wrong one. You could end up 15 miles across town in the 40 seconds it took you to buy an iced tea and a candy bar.”

“Would've made a great public transit system if there was some way to predict which storefront you'd come out of,” Galaxy-sweater offered.

“That's all we've got,” La Pesadilla said. “Where's the rest of my money?”

“Now, hang on,” Galaxy-sweater said, easing herself off the couch, “these girls paid good money and we have got one more thing. Been meaning to get rid of it anyway.”

She ambled over to a bookshelf, grabbed a small, shabby-looking paperback, ripped the back cover clean off, and handed it to Ariadne. “They dropped this in our mailslot back when they were still pretending to be Christian. Got a picture of the Zealot on the back. Might help.”

La Pesadilla jabbed her cane towards the closed door. “Now, get out of my house and put that money in my account.”

Ariadne and Pilar put down their half-finished lemonades, more than glad to not have to finish drinking them, and walked towards the door. As they exited, they heard La Pesadilla mumble, “and so help me if that elevator is working.” The door closed behind them and they immediately heard it lock.

In the elevator ride down to the first floor, Ariadne looked at the laminated cover she'd been handed. The photograph was of a white man, perhaps in his 40s, with squinting, intense eyes, a full but neatly trimmed gray beard, a straight, pointed nose, and a wide-brimmed black hat.

She felt uneasy and turned the book over. Something about him, something she couldn't quite place but knew very few others would see, hit upsettingly close to home. She didn't look at it again for the rest of the trip back.

[evenstevensranked]

#35: Season 1, Episode 4 - “What’ll Idol Do?”

Ren gets a pre-high school mentor (is that really necessary? lol) named June Marie. She’s clearly evil and fake as a 3 dollar bill, but Ren thinks she’s the cat’s pajamas because of her scholastic accomplishments. Meanwhile, Louis is obsessing over someone stealing one of his beloved VHS tapes of an SNL episode. And you know how much I love Louis The Aspiring Comedian... :) 

The episode opens with Louis reading a book called "The Art of the Joke." Wait a minute... Louis Stevens... READING?! Yep. When I was younger, Season 3 Louis was always my fave. But, looking back.. Season 1 Louis was amazing. He had so much ambition and a real goal to become a comic, much like Shia. So much so, he was actually reading and researching about it!! That pretty much tapers off eventually and he just becomes a little zany -- Also like Shia...? lol. It's not a bad thing by any means. I'm just realizing exactly how much I miss this more restrained, "real," smart and subtly sarcastic Louis. He retains these qualities throughout the series, they’re just highlighted more/better in the early episodes.

He’s literally skipping dinner to read here. Incredible. He’s also seen reading this book in “All About Yvette.” I think it must’ve been Season 1 Louis’ bible.

Anyway, Louis takes a break from reading and goes to watch a VHS tape of a 1995 Saturday Night Live episode ft. Mike Myers... when he discovers it’s missing! We see the rest of the family at dinner downstairs, being forced to listen to Ren talking up some chick June Marie like she’s the second coming of Jesus. She explains that June is her ~idol~ and will be acting as her “Pre-High School mentor.” Right away you get the sense that this is sketchy. Even though Ren Stevens is, well... Ren Stevens... We see her relying SO MUCH on June to help elevate her status once she gets to High School. Obviously Ren could easily achieve high ranking status herself -- And would most likely take pride in that. It feels a little bit out of character. Even Eileen seems very suspicious about it. We also find out that June is in Geometry class with Donnie. This is important information!

Louis barges into dinner, turning the missing tape situation into a major mystery case. He’s basically accusing someone in the family of stealing it. Aside from this scene going on just a tad too long, I still think it’s entertaining. Louis says a great line: “I’m not a detective. But I did watch 10 whole minutes of Nash Bridges once” which I freaking love. The entire family claims to have no idea what he’s talking about and they’re so fed up with him and his Dramatics™ -- it’s kinda hilarious. With every overly serious thing he says, they’re all just groaning like “oh my god.....” It gets me. The scene ends with Ren saying “Mother, may I please have permission to FedEx Louis to Timbuktu before June Marie gets here?!” And Eileen says “Absolutely not! ........UPS is so much cheaper.” I’m only mentioning this because I caught a rerun of the episode on Freeform recently, and this bit was mysteriously missing! I’m assuming it was cut out for “FedEx” and “UPS” copyright reasons? No idea. Idk man. I always kinda liked that part, and I was like ???????? Where’d it go?!

Ren practices in the mirror how she’s gonna greet June before she gets there and it’s too much. We finally see this June Marie character and her personality is so ugly. She seems like a rich, entitled snob. (Trust me on this, I have very good judgement.) Ren is in awe though and desperate for June to like her. Again, this seems a little out of character. But she wants to achieve flawless academic success in high school and believes June can help her do that. Ren is a perfectionist, sooooo. 

June is seriously the fakest person I’ve ever seen and Ren is looking at her like she is her savior. I’m sad. 

Oh yeah.. Did I mention that June Marie is also a creep? It almost seems like she's coming onto Ren at one point. I'm actually uncomfortable watching this. She’s so clearly up to something.

She’s saying “Could you imagine what we could accomplish on the high school yearbook staff together?” in a suggestive voice. Tell me this isn’t creepy as hell. Run, Ren... Run for the hills. 

At school the next day, Louis is complaining to Tawny about the missing tape now. She, too, is so done with his drama lol. I love this bit because he actually references the sketch “The Whiners” as a major influence of his and that the missing tape is what made him want to be funny. Awwwwww! Dear, god. I seriously love this so much. Even though according to Wiki, “The Whiners” was a skit from 1982-84. So, this tape definitely doesn’t exist irl. But, still! Tom overhears the crisis and offers to set up an audio/video home surveillance system in Louis’ house in an attempt to catch the possible tape thief. Tom is the best. He always has great lines and actor Fred Meyers’ delivery always makes me smile. Later that day, he ultimately sets up the system for Louis! He offers to set up one for Tawny as well and Louis says “Tawny doesn’t have a home. She lives on her bike. It’s a long story. It’s very tragic.” I always loved this. 

lol at Tom listening in. Also, I love how Louis and Tawny are such a couple’a outcasts honestly. They’re so perfect! 

Ren tells her placeholder best friend Jewel about June.. and I swear it’s like everyone somehow knows that June is trash, but they don’t want to burst Ren’s bubble. Jewel is clearly thinking “.....yikes! not gonna say anything”:

The “yikes” face is even punctuated by a suspicious dominant chord... just so there’s no confusion. What is UP with that hair, btw??? The Early 2000s were a mystical time in history...

While spying on the family from his room, (see cover image) Louis ends up overhearing the real juicy drama. Forget the tape! June Marie is over and meticulously quizzing Ren about high school stuff (”Details, woman! This ain’t junior high!!!” lol chill) when suddenly Donnie walks in and tells Ren she has a phone call -- which ends up leaving June and Donnie alone. Remember how I said they have geometry class together? Yeah. They have a small talk conversation about class - and as soon as Donnie leaves the room, June whips out a bulky Y2K cell phone (I knew she was rich) and calls her friend freaking out over talking to THE Donnie Stevens. She admits to having a plan to make Donnie ask her out, and that’s the only reason she’s hanging out with “his lame sister.” What a loser, for real. Thank the lawwd for Louis’ hidden cameras.

Louis is upset and tries subtly telling Ren by warning her that June “isn’t as cool as you think she is.” But of course Ren is all “JUNE MARIE IS THE COOLEST PERSON I KNOW!!!!!!!” - I hate when people refuse to listen to other people like their own family members when they're trying to help them. I wanna slap Ren. 

We get a mirror talk mid-episode from Louis in the bathroom about how he has to find some clever way to tell Ren to make her believe him. Yay! Caring Louis looking out for his big sis! His deep speech (accompanied by sad piano) ends with a curveball joke. (”...The worst part is........ I got a zit the size of a volkswagen.”) Shia's phrasing is always on point. I laughed. The joke helps saves the scene from becoming an overly sentimental, cheesy parody of itself.

We find out that Steve and Eileen have Louis’ tape and....... they accidentally taped over it. THE HORROR!!! If you lived through the era of VHS tapes, you understand. There's no "undo" option, people! This scene gets me so mad every time. Of course Louis is asleep when this is revealed on hidden camera. Louis is so smart, but he spends the rest of the episode completely oblivious to the fact that the tape is right under his nose. It’s cute.

Louis decides to write June Marie a note signed “Donnie” asking her to come over for a date. She shows up right on time, overly eager and dressed for the Oscars -- coming onto Donnie full-force. 

I just noticed it looks like they’re actually at the real house for this shot??? Or that could just be a painting in the background. Probably. 

Louis set everything up so that he could show Ren the live stream of June being a [Raven Voice] ‘lil nasty. She’s curling into Donnie’s side on the couch saying “I’m so glad we finally got together. I only became Ren’s mentor to get to know you better.” 

Ren gets so heated, she marches downstairs and tells June Marie offffffff for being a two-faced liar and a terrible role model. Donnie’s caught in the middle of it and has absolutely no idea what’s going on: 

Same, Donnie.

But, yaaaaassss Louis for #exposing June Marie. And yaaaaaassss Ren for confronting her. (”I got news for you, Little Miss Pretentious... I can get that job on the yearbook without your help.”) The sass level is through the roof. I love it. It's always satisfying to see a snake like June get rightfully stepped on. 

Ren yells at Louis for not telling her about June but....... he did tell you, Ren!! That’s what you get for not listening to your family. 

The scene that follows feels like an ad-lib. Shia and Christy are genuinely laughing. I’ve mentioned this a million times before, but according to Shia they ad-lib’d quite a bit on this show. I think this is one of those instances. It’s great. 

The episode ends with Eileen telling Steve to burn Louis’ tape. Meanwhile, Louis is still hoping to get it back. It’s supposed to be funny, but it honestly makes my skin crawl. I'm so sad for him D:

And that’s it! I remembered not being all that crazy about this one simply because it’s clear in my memory due to it airing very frequently. But it's actually a pretty satisfying and slightly scandalous story, haha. My only issue is that this episode is incrediblyyy slow paced. In most cases, that’s one of the things I love about the first season. But, here it just kinda draaags on a bit. 

The best aspect, of course, is Louis wanting to help Ren. Whenever they focus on the brother/sister dynamic, the show really shines because that is the foundation! Like, hello! Louis and Ren are the Stevens who are constantly trying to... get Even! So, yeah. I like when their relationship is highlighted in some way. For a more Ren-Centric episode, this one is pretty good. Although, this is another episode that involves a one-off character. This is something we see a lot in the first season, which I don’t understand??? The freaking premiere episode was about a random guy. This episode is about some random chick. The next episode is about Yvette. The episode after that is about some random dude. Like..... who decided that a chunk of Season 1, a.k.a. everyone’s first exposure to Even Stevens, should basically not fully focus on the main characters? Idgi. Might just be a symptom of the show trying to find its legs.

At least this is a case where they found a seamless way to combine the two plot lines. A story like this also helps Louis come across as endearing. So that’s good. :)

Thanks for reading! Thoughts? Leave them below! 

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[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND April 5, 2019  - SHAZAM, PET SEMATARY, THE BEST OF ENEMIES, PETERLOO

Sadly, this is yet another weekend where I wasn’t able to see two of the three new movies, but that’s because I’m in Las Vegas covering CinemaConfor The Beat, but I do want to write a little more about a movie coming out this weekend that I want to put a little added focus on. Back in the day, I used to include a “Chosen One” in each week’s column, and I’m getting to the point where I’d like to try to do something like that again… and so, after the jump, you will get my review of one such film.

That movie is PETERLOO (Amazon), the new movie from director Mike Leigh, an eight-time Oscar nominee whose work has garnered him much respect and whose work I’ve especially enjoyed, particularly Vera Drake and Happy-Go-Lucky. The first of these is significant because it’s one of Leigh’s rare historic pieces but his last movie Mr. Turner went one further by telling the story of a real person, in that case, painter J.M.W. Turner, as played by Tim Spall.

Peterloo is somewhat of a departure for Mr. Leigh, since it isn’t focused on a small group of two to four characters, instead telling a massively complex storyline about a peaceful rally in Manchester that was racked by violence when politicians decided to disperse the crowd.

I have to admit that as Peterloo began on the battlefield of Waterloo, I wasn’t sure to expect, thinking it might be Leigh’s attempt at a war film, but the story follows a young bugler, Joseph, whom we see on the battlefield before he returns home to Manchester with a case of PTSD.  His family, and in fact, the whole town, is suffering from poverty and hunger, and there’s a growing desire to be represented in the Parliament in London so that things might improve. The city’s grew white hope is one Henry Hunt, played by Rory Kinnear, and he’s going to travel up to Manchester to talk to the people who will presumably vote for him.

Once it gets going, Peterloo is such a fascinating film. I’m really curious to see how Americans will react to it, because while it’s just as typically British as Leigh’s previous work, it’s a movie that’s more about British history and British politics, and I’m just not sure if that’s the sort of thing that will connect with Americans.

I can completely understand why some might be frustrated with Leigh’s latest, because it is very long, it does take some time to get going, and a lot of time you might not know exactly what is going on or what is being discussed.  I certainly wasn’t exactly sure what was going on or who some of the characters were as they flew through the vast ensemble cast moving from one character and location to another. Eventually, you get used to this pace and start seeing familiar faces that makes things much clearer.  Leigh also uses this tactic to create layers that build and build to the climactic last half hour of the film where violence disrupts an otherwise peaceful day. It’s quite the counterpoint to the war scene that opens the film, but don’t worry. Joseph doesn’t get lost in the shuffle, as you might suspect, because it really follows his journey despite often focusing on others.

One of the things I especially liked about Leigh’s latest is that while it does often get somber and serious, there’s still a wit to it, especially in the way it deals with the stupidity of the politicians and magistrates who seem to have little care for the people they’re supposed to be representing.

Oddly, two days after seeing Peterloo, I saw the Broadway musical Hamilton, a historical piece that takes place in America earlier than the events of Leigh’s film, but it offered a similar resonance to me, even though it did so with musical numbers rather than talking.

Leigh’s screenplay is another masterpiece, but I was equally impressed by the casting of such a large ensemble, many with British actors whom few on these shores will have ever seen or heard of. I’m really curious to know where he found them, because he’s become so known for working with the same small group of actors over the years, and almost everyone in this movie is new to the Leigh camp.

Personally, I think this is Leigh’s best film in many, many years, possibly on par with some of his best work even though I know it deals with a far more difficult (and localized) subject. Regardless, it’s also a film I will gladly see a second time just to catch some of the nuances I may have missed the first time around.

Rating: 8.5/10

Now, back to your regularly scheduled preview column…

As far as the wide releases, I’ve only seen one of them and that was SHAZAM! (New Line/WB), the latest DC Comics character to be brought to the big screen, in this case by Swedish filmmaker David F. Sandberg (Lights Out). I already reviewedthe movie for The Beat, so I don’t have much more to say about it (other than my Box Office Preview, which is ALSO at The Beat), but I did enjoy this quite a bit, maybe not as much as Aquaman but definitely as much as Wonder Woman. It’s a good movie that shows you can do something different with supereheroes and still make a movie work on its own merits (rather than connecting to future movies)

The other movie I’m really looking forward to seeing (when I get back from Vegas) is the new version of Stephen King’s PET SEMATARY (Paramount), directed by Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer, who found some fans in the horror crowd with their earlier film Starry Eyes.  I guess the cast could be more interesting, although I do love John Lithgow and Amy Seimetz has been a favorite of mine from the indie work she’s done. And I don’t hate Jason Clarke either, although some of his choices in films (other than last year’s Chappaquidick, in which he was great) sometimes leaves me scratching my head.

Robin Bissell’s THE BEST OF ENEMIES (STXfilms) is a civil rights drama that one would normally see during Oscar season, since it stars Oscar winner Sam Rockwell and nominee Taraji P. Henson. This story is interesting to me as someone who loved last year’s Green Book, mainly because there are stories like this (and that) from the ‘60s that deserve to be told. Unfortunately, I’m missing this due to CinemaCon as well, so hopefully I’ll have a chance to see it when I’m back in New York.

LIMITED RELEASES

Besides Peterloo, reviewed above, there’s a few other films I recommend seeking out, and hopefully the first three of these will expand into other places than big cities after this weekend:

Correction: Oops!! It looks like I missed the fact that Teen Spirit will not open in select cities until April 12, so I’ll rerun my write-up on it next week

Seemingly a lost project/movie, the late filmmaker Sydney Pollack was commissioned by Warner Bros. Records to capture a concert by Aretha Franklin singing gospel songs for a movie, but it was shelved due to technical difficulties. More than 45 years later, that concert is presented in AMAZING GRACE (NEON), and if there ever was any doubt in your mind about what an amazing singer Franklin was, this movie will certainly change that. It opens in select cities.

Opening in New York, L.A. and other cities is Emma Tammi’s Western werewolf movie THE WIND (IFC Midnight), which played at TIFF and Fantastic Fest last year and the more-recent What the Fest in New York. It stars Caitlin Gerard from Insidious: The Last Key as a rugged woman who has moved into a cabin on the American frontier in the early 19thCentury, where she immediately starts feeling as if there’s a sinister presence, possibly tied to the only other couple who lives out there. Her husband (Ashley Zukerman) doesn’t believe her.  If you like Westerns and want to see one with a dominant female presence (both in front and behind the camera) then you’ll want to check this out.

I guess this is as good a place as any to mention that one of my favorite filmmaker Terry Gilliam’s new movie The Man Who Killed Don Quixote will be available to see nationwide on Tuesday via Fathom Events. The movie, starring Adam Driver, Jonathan Pryce and a number of amazing European actors who I was unfamiliar with, is one that Gilliam has been trying to make for over 20 years and no surprise, it harks back to his great films like The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and The Fisher King, which came out during the filmmaker’s heyday. I’m just so happy Gilliam was finally able to make this movie, and it actually turned out quite well.. maybe a little weird for some tastes, but not too weird for lifelong Gilliam fans like myself. 

Hilary Duff stars in the title role of Daniel Ferrands’ THE HAUNTING OF SHARON TATE (Saban Films) about the murder of the 26-year-old actress who was pregnant with Roman Polanski’s baby when she was murdered by Charles Manson and his cult.It opens in theaters and will be available On Demand starting Friday.

Jordan Downey’s The Head Hunter (Vertical) involves a medieval warrior who is protecting the kingdom from monsters, collecting their heads as he slays them. The one monster he hasn’t killed yet is the one that killed his daughter, so he travels on horseback to try to get revenge. It opens in select cities and On Demand.

Jai Courtney stars in Shawn Seet’s adaptation of Colin Thiele’s Storm Boy (Good Deed Entertainment), an Australian drama in which the retired businessman Michael Kingley reflects back on his past life. Some of these memories including a story about how as a boy, he rescued an orphaned pelican and named it Mr. Percival.

Filmmaker Emilio Estevez’s latest film, the political drama The Public (Greenwich), will also open Friday after playing TIFF and a few other festivals. It stars Alec Baldwin with Estevez, Jena Malone, Taylor Schilling, Christian Slater, Gabrielle Union, Michael K. Williams and Jeffrey Wright, and with a cast like that, do you really need to know what the movie is about? Okay, fine. It takes place in a public library in Cincinnati where a number of homeless patrons take it over during an Arctic blast, seeking shelter from the cold but also staging an act of civil disobedience, in the process.

Showing FREE OF CHARGE at New York’s Film Forum (as part of their annual Free Movie Week) starting Wednesday is Cam Christiansen’s animated doc Wall, which looks at the decision by Israel to build the 435-mile long wall to separate the Palestinian West Bank from the rest of Israel. Building that $4 billion wall meant the confiscation of 4,000 acres of Palestinian land and the destruction of 1,000 trees…and that area is still in disarray. So yeah… building walls is a bad idea.

Stephanie Wang-Breal’s documentary Blowin’ Up (Once in a Blue) deals with the first-ever court created to deal with prostitution in Queens, New York, the Queens Human Intervention Trafficking Court led by the Honorable Toko Serita. The purpose is to help deal with the women and girls arrested for prostitution who are illegal Asian immigrants or are black, Latina or trans, so they get shuffled through the system without it ever dealing with the complex reasons why they turn to prostitution. The doc opens at the Quad in New York Friday and then in L.A. on April 12.

Opening at the Metrograph in New York City is Qiu Sheng’s feature debut Suburban Birds (Cinema Guild) involving two narrative strands, one involving land surveyors who are laying subway tracks, the other involving pre-adolescents who rove the streets of the town unsupervised. It sounds…um… interesting?

Josh Stewart from Criminal Minds writes, directs and stars in Back Fork (Uncork’d) as family man Waylon who is struggling to keep his life together after tragedy, becoming more dependent on pills. Also starring Agnes Bruckner, the film will open in select cities and be available On Demand starting April 9.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

First up, on Tuesday began the 11th Annual ReelAbilities Film Festival at the JCC Manhattan, celebrating those who have fought past what would normally be considered “disabilities” to greatness. It kicked off with the Opening Night Gala and Screening of Irene Taylor Brodsky’s Moonlight Sonata: Deafness in Three Movements, a documentary about a boy with genetic deafness who grew up with cochlear implants whose grandfather is adverse against using such technology in his old age. The festival runs through April 9 where the Closing Night film is Nick Kelly’s The Drummer and the Keeper about a drummer dealing with a bipolar diagnosis. In between is a full line-up of narratives and documentaries exploring different disabilities from blindness to mental disorders, and it’s quite an amazing array of films, many which might not ever get distribution, sadly. Screenings take place all over the city including Bellevue Hospital, Lincoln Center and the Museum of the Moving Image in Queens.

Although the 22nd Annual Full Frame Documentary Film Festival takes place in Durham, North Carolina – home of Duke University -- starting Thursday, I do have a love for the documentary genre that makes me want to mention the amazing programming, which will include a thematic program called “Some Other Lives of Time,” curated by Oscar nominee RaMell Ross (Hale County This Morning, This Evening). Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert’s American Factory is the opening night film while the Aretha Franklin concert doc Amazing Grace (released this weekend in other cities) closes this year’s festival. There’s an amazing line-up of docs in between, some that have played other festivals like David Modigliani’s Running with Beto  and Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am, and others that are premiering at Full Frame. American Factory  directors Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert are getting a tribute with all of their earlier features and shorts shown, as well as their new film about a General Motors plant in Dayton, Ohio that closed, forcing 2,500 people into unemployment. This is a festival I’ve wanted to attend for so long and I do have friends in the Durham area that would make this worth a visit, but it’s only four days from Thursday through Sunday, so can’t do it this year.

Also, the Havana Film Festival New York begins at the Museum of the Moving Image on Sunday.

STREAMING AND CABLE

This week’s big Netflix release is Brie Larson’s directorial debut UNICORN STORE, in which she plays a 20-something artist named Kit, who is kicked out of art school, forcing her to move back home with her parents. Just as Kit decides to finally grow up, a salesman, played by Larson’s Captain Marvel co-star Samuel L. Jackson, shows up to offer Kit her heart’s desire. Based on a script by Samantha McIntyre, the film also stars Joan Cusack as Kit’s mother.

Netflix also has a number of new series starting on Friday including Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (from Riverdale showrunner Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa) and the eight-part nature series Our Planet, narrated by Sir David Attenborough.

I didn’t go to Sundance so I haven’t had a chance to see Rashid Johnson’s Native Son, starring Margaret Qualley, Nick Robinson, Kiki Layne, Ashton Sanders, Sanaa Lathan and Elizabeth Marvel, but that will premiere on HBO this Saturday night.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

On Friday, Metrograph will open a restoration of King Hu’s little-seen 1973 martial arts film The Fate of Lee Khan (Film Movement Classics) but the real winner this weekend is the Playtime: Family Matinees screenings of one of my childhood faves, Ken Hughes’ Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968), starring Dick Van Dyke. Late Nites at Metrograph will show Sion Sono’s 2016 film Anti-Porno, which I may have seen before or maybe I just saw the trailer at Metrograph when it screened there a couple years back. I can’t remember! Also, the Total Kaurismäki Show continues through the weekend with Leningrad Cowboys Go America  (1989) on Thursday, more esoteric films like Juha  (1999) and Take Care of Your Scarf, Tatiana  (1994) on Saturday, Leningrad Cowboys Meet Moses (1994) on Sunday and then his recent The Other Side of Hopeon Monday. That series continues through next Wednesday. Thursday also continues the Academy at Metrograph series with a screening of the 1959 rom-com Pillow Talk.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Weds and Thursday are double features of  Jack Nicholson’s 1971 film Drive, He Said  with the 1972 John Wayne movie The Cowboys. Friday and Saturday, the New Bev does a sci-double feature of Silent Running  (1972) and The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant (1971). This weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE is Tom Hanks and Joe Dante’s The Burbs (1989), the Friday midnight screening is Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight (Multiplex version) while the Saturday night midnight offering is John Landis’ 1978 comedy classic Animal House. A 4-track mag print (whatever that is) of Carl Foreman’s war movie The Victors (1963) will screen on Sunday and Monday. Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia (1999) will also screen on Monday afternoon.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Besides debuting an uncut (220 mins. With intermission) version of Franesco Rosi’s 1979 epic Christ Stopped at Eboli (Rialto Pictures), the Film Forum is screening the 1968 war film Where Eagles Dare introduced by British author Geoff Dyer (who wrote a book about the movie) on Saturday, and then John Boorman’s 1967 film Point Blank on Sunday, also introduced by Dyer.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Noir City: Hollywood – The 21stAnnual Los Angeles Festival of Film Noir continues through the weekend with chronological double features of 1955 films The Big Combo and Bad Day at Black Rock on Weds, the 1956 films A Kiss Before Dying and The Harder They Fall on Thurs, and then 1957′s The Midnight Story and Monkey on my Back Friday, Clara Bow’s Call Her Savage from 1932 with a Forbidden Hollywood presentation on Saturday, along with Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil and Louis Malle’s Elevator to the Gallows, both from 1958. The series ends on Sunday with I Want to Live (1958) and Cry Tough (1959). 

AERO  (LA):

I wish I lived in L.A. right now because the Aero is launching a Mike Leigh retrospective called “Bleak, But Never Boring: Life According to Mike Leigh” starting Friday with a double feature of Naked  (1993)and Meantime (1984), Saturday is Secrets & Lies  (1996)and Vera Drake (2004), then Sunday is Life is Sweet  (1990)and High Hopes (1988).   On Thursday, the Aero is ALSO showing Animal House… but with guests!

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

Strange Desire: The Films of Claire Deniscontinues through the weekend with Bastards and The Breidjing Camp on Thursday, Towards Mathilde (2005) with the 2002 short Vers Nancy and US Go Home (1994) & the doc Claire Denis, The Vagabondon Saturday. Denis’ fairly recent film Let the Sunshine Inwill screen again on Sunday, as will Denis’ 1994 film I Can’t Sleep.

MOMA (NYC):

Modern Matinees: B is for Bacall continues with 1966’s Harper Weds, Woman’s World  (1954) Thursday and Robert Altman’s Pret-A-Porter (Ready to Wear) (1994) on Friday.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

Besides taking apart in a few film festivals mentioned above, MOMI will also screen Antonio Tibaldi’s On My Own (1991) with Tibaldi in person.

QUAD CINEMA  (NYC):

Bertrand Blier’s Get Out Your Handkerchiefscontinues…

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

Friday’s midnight screening is the anime classic Akira.

The IFC CENTER in New York seems to be in-between repertory programs, while FILM SOCIETY OF LINCOLN CENTER is still focused on New Directors/New Films through Sunday.

Next week, Lionsgate revives Mike Mignola’s Hellboy, this time played by David Harbour, Tina Gordon’s comedy Littlestarring Regina Hall and Issa Rae, and LAIKA Studios returns with their latest stop-motion animated film Missing Link.

[megaloxrobin]

And When it Rains || RAPHNE

TAGGED: Robin Haseo & Daphne Vanderbilt

LOCATION: The Grind Parking Lot, Robin’s apartment, and the outside of Daphne’s home

TIMEFRAME: APRIL 7TH,2017 ;; LATE NIGHT

GENERAL NOTES: Robin gets a call from Daphne during the storm, stating that she needs help. The two end up facing their feelings for one another.

Daphne The events leading up to her trying to skip town had been a big blur. One minute, she was planning on getting the love of her life back, and the next a sudden realization that he might not ever want her back, and never give her a second chance hit her. Once that hit, she was a goner. She'd acted out of weakness when she packed up and put everything she owned back into her car. She had planned on driving to Portland, staying the night and driving back home within the rest of the week. However, it seemed that her vehicle had other plans. The storm hit just as she was leaving, and seemed to escalate rather quickly. Everything was closed, and even though it was dark out, when the lightning hit, it seemed as if the whole main strip of the town was illuminated. She, however, was stuck. Daphne's car had stalled, and she was sitting on the side of the road in tears. Hoping that she would be granted a miracle, she picked up her phone and dialed Robins number, praying that he would come and help her out.

Robin didn't expect for a call, let alone /the/ call. He was just sat in the living room, laptop in hand and TV on with some rerun of a sitcom. He mindlessly browsed, hardly noticing the storm as the rain pelted his window, causing for Papyrus to perch her head and watch as the view became a distorted mess. It was a half hour of mindless loitering before his phone vibrated against the cluttered coffee table. He sat up, setting his laptop to the side. His eyes fell on the name, and the blood drained from his face. Usually, he would have ignored the call, but seeing as she might have changed-- so she said-- he figured that was no hard, even if his heart rammed violently against his chest. He took a deep breath, merely causing for him to feel heavier before finally answering the call. "Hello?"

Daphne In all honesty, Daphne didn't expect him to answer her. She had thought that he'd see her name come up on his phone and just ignore it, allowing it to go to voicemail. Instead, however, he picked up. As soon as she heard the sound of his voice, her heart began to race within her chest. The brunette sniffed and ran her hand along the leather of the steering wheel. "Robin?" She didn't know why she was asking, she knew without a doubt, that it was him. "Are you busy right now?" There was something about her voice that sounded vulnerable, which was odd for her, but due to the fact that she was in a mentally shaken state, and there was a storm going on around her, she was scared.

Robin caught the quiver in her voice right away, the sudden openness that she hardly ever expressed. It was hard to ignore, seeing how for as long as they have known each other, even when they were dating and engaged, she would have kept all her feelings to herself. "No," he let out, sitting up straight, brows knitted together. "Is something wrong?"

Daphne took a deep breath and leant back in her seat. "My car stalled, and I can't get it to work, and I'm stuck outside in this stupid storm." Daphne paused and ran a hand through her hair, tugging on it. "Will you come and give me a jump? You don't even have to actually talk to me.... i get it if you don't want to, I can just call an uber or something."

Robin: No, he shouldn't have cared. After the many times she had harassed, insulted, and even assaulted him; he should have hung up right then and there just for the sake of being petty. However, he didn't have the heart to do it. Daphne still had a place in his heart, and he /hated/ it. He hated how his heart jumped to his throat from the mere idea of her being stuck in the middle of a storm. He hated how he already jumped off the couch and made his way to his room to grab two coats and his shoes. He still loved her. "I-I could drop you off, but we'll need to leave your car somewhere just so it's out of the way and safe until tomorrow, we can't jump start it during a storm."

Daphne felt herself groan. Being in a car with Robin was not something that she wanted to do, nor something that she needed. Not now, not when she was in such a stupidly fragile state. "It's already pulled over to the side, I did that first when it started to putter out. The dashboard is lit up and stuff I just..." She was desperate, and although she'd been on her way out of town, perhaps staying the night would be better for her than anything. "I'm in front of the coffee shop... How long will it take you to get here?"

Robin: There it was, the groan, the one that easily caused him to roll his eyes seamlessly. "Look, I just don't want to get electrocuted... but if you're under something, I can try," he decided to find some sort of compromise, even if he felt he was in the right. "The Grind, right?"

Daphne shook her head, "No, it's fine. You're probably right. I don't want you to get electrocuted. That's the last thing I want to happen to you." She began thrumming her delicate fingers against the steering wheel. "I'm there, yeah. Just text me when you get here, I don't need something happening to you, or either of us just because I'm stupid."

Robin: "Alright, I'm heading out now," he huffed. "Just... stay in the car, okay? Or wait inside for me." With that, he hung up. Over and over again, as he hurried down the stairs and into his car, he wondered why it was that he cared so much about Daphne, why he still had love for her despite all that happened between them. He even left her the day before the wedding, how was that any form of love? He had to stop dwelling on it, because the mere memories were enough to distract him. Thankfully, the drive was a mere ten minutes.

Daphne "I'll wait in the car, the shop is closed and I don't really feel like breaking in." She admitted, only to hear the dial tone. He'd hung up. He was coming to get her. She tried to tell herself that he was just doing it because he was a good person, not because he wanted her back, not because he was willing to give her a second chance; but because Robin was genuinely a good person. The brunette placed her phone in the cup holder and wrapped her arms around herself, rocking back and forth slightly as she waited for her ex-fiance to arrive.

Robin: There was only one car parked in the lot, the one he parked right next to. It was hard to see Daphne's silhouette through the dark windows, but he knew she was inside. He stepped out and carefully tapped on the window.

Daphne had been sitting there for only a few minutes, but it felt longer. She had spaced out whilst waiting, her gaze stuck on the glow of the dash, so when she heard knocking she jumped slightly. Leaning over, she recognised the familiar face of Robin and waved, before opening the side door. "Thanks for coming, I'm sorry I had to drag you out of the house in this.."

Robin: Once the door opened, Robin poked his head in, eyes on the other, and hair still damp from when he first walked out to the car. It didn't matter, however, he just wanted to make sure Daphne was safe. "It's fine," he assured her over the drumming rain. His eyes drifted up to the awning that stretched over her car, blocking the rain. "Okay, pop the hood."

Daphne felt her brows rise at him when he mentioned her popping the hood, "What!?" Her voice was slightly more shrill than she'd wanted, but she shook it off, and instead leaned over to look at him a bit better. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I care about you too much to let you sick your life just for my car, Robin."

Robin knitted his brows in utter confusion. If she didn't want him to fix the car, why had she called him? Was that not what she wanted? "So, what are you going to do? Do you want me to take you home?" He asked her, pausing after he had realized what she had just said. So, she did care? She had a really funny way of showing it. He cleared his throat, eyes suddenly drifting to the solid ground.

Daphne sighed, "I want you to fix it yes, but this stupid storm is too bad, and I realize how ridiculous it was for me to ask you that." She bit down on her bottom lip and shrugged. "If you'd be okay with that? If not then I can call a cab. I just... I'm sorry." Her place wasn't exactly empty, but her clothes were in the back seat of her car, and so she'd have to get them out before she went anywhere. "Thank you though.. For offering to look at the car - even in this weather."

Robin: Was it so bad to say that Robin missed that side of Daphne? The softer side he had grown so fond of and even fell so hard for. Azriel would have said he was blind for just focusing on that 'mask', but he always seemed to ignore the warning words. "No.. I can drop you off, really.." He assured her before standing straight. "Do you need help getting the important stuff down?"

Daphne felt her heart flutter somewhat when she heard that he was serious about dropping her off. Maybe he was beginning to feel something for her, or at least something better than what he had. Letting out a shaky breath, she got out of the car, and moved to the trunk door. "There's only one thing I need tonight, the rest of it is mostly more clothing, but it doesnt have my computer in it." She replied, opening the trunk and grabbing a red suitcase. "The rest I'll have to come for tomorrow when the storm's cleared."

Robin stood by the side of the car, watching as she opened the trunk and pulled out a bright red suitcase. Where was she going? Had she not finished unpacking? No, that couldn't be it, right? He attempted to shake the thoughts from his heads and just turned to open the trunk of his car. "What's with that?" He finally asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

Daphne felt her shoulders actually hunch when he questioned her, and her head hung somewhat; as if she was a guilty child. "I was leaving... My emotions got the better of me... I figured after our conversation and the texts... That you wouldn't want to be with me, and that coming here... It was stupid, and trying to leave was stupid. You said you'd need time and I agreed to give you that. I just... I got overwhelmed, and scared, and sad, and it got to be too much." As she spoke, her eyes remained on the ground, frightened by the fact that if she were to look up she might stop speaking. Once she was done however, she looked up at him through her lashes, her glassy gaze on him.

Robin: So, she was leaving. He really should have figured as much, seeing how he hadn't made up his mind just yet about whether or not he wanted to try things again. Could he really be blamed? After their toxic history together? Sure, he loved her and probably always will, but that didn't mean that it was right to go back, even if part of him wanted to. Maybe that was why he was a bit saddened by her admission. "Are you still planning to leave?" He asked her before reaching over to take the suitcase.

Daphne felt herself shrug before she could really and truly thin of an answer. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay and take a chance with him, but after their history, and the fact that his friend seemed to be influencing his moves, Daphne didn't know how that would work out. If it would be a long time for him to figure out his feelings, or not at all. Havenoaks was a nice place, but it wasn't the place for her. The only reason she was there, was because of him. "I don't know... I don't want to.... But there's only one reason I'm here Robin, and that's you."

Robin: "I know... I'm sorry," he muttered before taking the suitcase by the handle and lifting it into the trunk. As he shut it, he let out a sigh, his mind had been screaming at him yet again. He felt guilty, but it wasn't as though he asked her to look for him, in fact he was doing pretty well without Daphne around. Sure, he had moments-- as anyone else would-- but he felt more and more anxious with her being in Havenoaks.

Daphne shook her head, "It's okay, it's not like you're making me." She stated with a small sigh, watching as he put her suitcase in the back of his car. Shutting the trunk of hers, she joined him beside his car, and in a moment without thinking, she brought a hand up to his arm, gently squeezing it. "Thanks again, for helping me when you didn't have to."

Robin: True, he hadn't forced her, but of course, he still had quite the guilty conscience. Feeling her hand squeeze his arm was enough to snap him out of the trance he had put himself in. He flinched, but didn't move away from the touch. "Yeah, no problem," he replied, a polite smile graced on his lips.

Daphne felt something deep within her contort when he flinched, and she instantaneously glanced down at the ground. "I promise, I won't be in your hair for much longer, I know that me coming here has sort of... Put a wrench in your plans. Or so to speak." She mused, her arms wrapping around her torso. She felt like holding him, like telling him that things would be better, but she understood, given their past, or at least how he felt about what had transpired between them, that doing something like that wouldn't end up well. Especially considering the fact that every time she touched him - no matter how gentle it was. "And I'll pay you back for driving me, and for wasting your gas... Just... Thanks." She supposed that instead of talking outside the car, they should get inside, and out of the damp weather; before either of them got sick.

Robin: "Daphne... you don't have to apologize, and you didn't throw anything because I really wasn't doing anything," he assured her before he faced the diver's side of the car, his eyes blurred. All he had to do was craw inside and turn the keys and spring the engine to life. Why was it taking so long? "You needed help, you don't have to pay me back, okay?" He knew that there was some guilt in her voice, whether or not it was real was a whole other story, but that didn't mean that there still wasn't some pain in his heart from simply hearing the hurt tone.

Daphne watched as he moved to the drivers side door. It was taking him just as long to get into the car as it was for her. A ball formed in the back of her throat and she took a deep breath as she clenched her jaw. She didn't want to look like she was getting emotional, but she was. Just watching how he spoke to her, his body language. Seeing that made her realize why she was driving in the storm in the first place. "I just want you to know I'm grateful for you, that's all. I just feel like I should owe you some compensation for this act of kindness." After she spoke, she lingered in her spot for a few moments, before moving to the other side of the car, her gaze on him through the window. Their car ride back to where she was staying was going to be either a really interesting one, or awkward enough that one could cut right through the tension with a knife.

Robin didn't respond that time. He just fought back the paralysis and finally stepped inside the car. He slid against the leather seat, settling before he unlocked the passenger side for his ex. He didn't look her direction, instead he just focused on the water droplets that were still on his windshield, as paralyzed as he was just moments ago.

Daphne felt her heart hammering within her chest as Robin got into the car. Even as the door unlocked, and she got in, she felt as if her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. With an unsteady hand, she put her seatbelt on and stared at the glowing clock on the dashboard. Robin was simply just sitting there, and whatever it was he was thinking about she didn't feel it completely necessary to interrupt. Although, despite her best efforts, her gaze did land on him a few times, only for a brief few seconds, but she did take note of how his facial features looked, and how there was a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite place.

Robin: 'Just turn the ignition, that is all you have to do...' Robin kept repeating to himself, over and over again in the steady rhythm of the blinking lights on the dashboard. The numb stillness was no stranger to Robin, just an itch that he was not quite the fan of. He had forgotten all about the nothingness and the nobody it made of him, but once Daphne sought after him, well, even Azriel noticed the waif he devolved into. It was easy to trace back, but maybe, just maybe he could shake it off. There was just one thing he needed to do. "What are we doing..?" He finally let out, his eyes still on the windshield.

Daphne raised her head when he spoke, her brows furrowing. What were they doing? Something deep within her stomach twisted and she felt as if the question was less about what they were actually doing, then what the two of them were doing, in a car together, considering everything that had happened. Instead though, she went out on a limb and hoped by some miracle, he hadn't meant that. "You're picking me up, you're helping me get out of a sticky situation and driving me back to the place I'm staying..." Her voice wavered somewhat as her gaze fell to her lap, her heart rate speeding up.

Robin: "That's...!" His voice rose but he quickly let it simmer down, knowing that if he got upset, it would only escalate things. His fingers found themselves around the steering wheel, his knuckles white from how tense he had become. "That's not what I meant, Daph..." He cleared his throat, ignoring how he called her by the short nickname he often referred to her as when they were together. "Daphne... that's not what I meant, and you know it.." He finally looked her direction, his eyes searching the profile of her face-- what he was able to see at least. "You're smarter than that."

Daphne her heart sunk, and her shoulders slumped slightly. Whatever false pretense she'd been holding onto had just flown out the window. "What do you want me to say, Robin?" She finally manged to get out, her gaze meeting his. All the fight that had been left within her had quickly gone out the window, and she felt deflated. "You know where I stand, you know how I feel. So really, what are you doing? Not we - you."

Robin: "I-I don't know, Daphne!" He slipped out, eyes still searching her features, desperate to find some kind of answer etched in her flesh. "I love you, and you're aware of that... but after everything that's happened, you can't blame me for being as freaked out and confused as I am!"

Daphne didn't know what to do, or what to say, and so she turned towards him in her seat, straining somewhat against the seatbelt. "Robin, I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying I know what I want, and while you may love me, you don't know what you want, so you asking - what 'we're' doing isn't constructive and doesn't actually work for this situation because I know what I want, and I want you. You just need to figure out what you want."

Robin: What he wanted? He wanted to be at peace. He wanted to forget about the fighting and screaming, he wanted to forget about the grief their relationship had fallen into. He wanted to forget all of it. That, however, was too much to ask. "How can you think I can figure that out if all I have are the facts and myself telling me to ignore them..?" He questioned, his voice just above a whisper, as though ashamed that he admitted such a thing to Daphne.

Daphne felt her gaze soften, and she held her hand out for him to take, wanting Robin to initiate any sort of physicality between them. Touching him thus far without him noticing had resulted in jerks, and that was not what she wanted. "Then maybe you should ignore them, and go with what you're gut is telling you to do."

Robin: Was it some test? Maybe he should turn the tables, do the same. Daphne always refuted when she was given 'no' as an answer, when things didn't go her way. Maybe he needed to see just how she acted if he turned her away again, just to see if the same woman he loved and feared still was underneath the sudden disguise she had placed. He caught the hand that extended, a simple movement that would mean a big leap for him, something that she must have been well aware of. With that in mind, he shook his head, and started up the car, his head turning back to the windshield as the lights stopped blinking.

Daphne felt slighted when he turned the car on and ignored her hand, but instead of giving into the anger that was somewhat bubbling inside her, she simply turned back in her seat, her hand resting in the space between them. She wasn't going to fuel the fire, no matter how much she might have wanted to. Instead, she held onto the hope that he might give in, might see her hand still resting there and take it.

Robin: Slowly, Robin moved his car from where it was parked, but merely closer to the road. The only lights out were the single street light and a few from the rare car the sped through the street. The light just danced over the windows, reflecting only Daphne's skin and catching his eyes before he carefully hit the break and took a deep breath. "How can I trust you again?" He asked her quietly, looking at her once more, his eyes boring into her own.

Daphne tried to ignore the twisting and turning of her stomach, and the way it made her nauseous. She tried to ignore the tension and a lingering sense of hostility. Coming to see him had been a mistake. He was never going to want her back, and she knew that. Daphne had been content with knowing that they were going to where she was staying, but then all of the sudden, Robin stopped the car, and she looked at him, confusion etched on her features. "I'll see my psychiatrist more often. I'll go to meetings, we can go slow. I promise I'll do everything I can to make you feel better about me. About us."

Robin slowly and hesitantly nodded, his eyes still not leaving hers, as though he would catch some glimmer that would mean she was only lying. Instead of catching any hint, his heart just quickened. When was the last time he stared at her so intently? "It's still hard to trust you," he muttered, honesty laced in his voice, though some confidence he thought he had lost did help him with such a confession.

Daphne ducked her head, nodding slowly. "I know that," her voice cracked as she began picking at the denim of her jeans. "I do... I do know that. I just want you to be able to trust me one day. I really do."

Robin: "If... if something's going to happen, I would like--" He paused, for the first time in a while he diverted his eyes, only to redirect himself. "I would like that too, Daphne..." There was his heart again, beating out of his chest as he just stared back at his ex again, his eyes once more searching hers.

Daphne felt her pulse skip a beat, and she leaned in somewhat, not too much as to freak him out, but enough that she was closer to him, and see the pattern within his eyes. "You would?" Her question was a quiet one, barely above a whisper as she searched his gaze.

Robin 's breath hitched as Daphne leaned in, though he did not move, even if his mind screamed for him to do so. "Yeah.. yeah I would.." He whispered, his eyes carefully searched her face once more, his breath even.

Daphne pursed her lips and then moved back away from him. "M-maybe we should get back to going to my place... We're still in the middle of a storm." She stated, her gaze never wavering from Robins.

Robin: It was then that he realized how the rain pelted the hood of his car. Right. He was supposed to get her home safely. "Yeah, sorry.." He grumbled as he cleared his throat and shook his head. "Just.. just tell me where to turn from here."

Daphne nodded, and sat back, trying to get comfortable. "Just turn left at the lights, and then at the second stop sign, take another left, and I'm the fourth place on the left.

Robin: "Okay.." He gave back before finally releasing the break. She really didn't get far did she? Nonetheless, he followed the directions and stopped right where she said. "So... you're getting the car tomorrow...? Then what?"

Daphne undid her seatbelt. "Yeah... I am. I'm going to call CAA or a tow truck, and get it taken to a shop. And... I don't know what's going to happen after. I might hang around a little longer... See what this town has to offer. But I'll see how I feel after I get some sleep."

Robin put his car in park and leaned back, letting himself breathe, if even for a quick second. "Okay, yeah.. yeah, some sleep will help..." He muttered before he gazed back over at Daphne, catching the reflection of the rain drops catch her skin. It was like he had forgotten just how beautiful his ex-fiancee truly was. "Sleep to take care of yourself..." He managed to let out.

Daphne saw something in his gaze that she'd only seen when they were still together, and a red hue made it's way onto her cheeks. "Yeah... I'll text you tomorrow okay? Tell you how everything goes." She lingered for a moment, wanting to kiss his cheek or at least compliment him on something, but felt it wasn't the right time, or place. Instead, she nodded and opened her door, stepping out. "Can you unlock the back - so I can get my stuff?" Daphne asked, only to pause and turn back to her ex-fiance. "Be safe driving home, okay?"

Robin: Yes, he caught the blush, and yes, it caused just a twitch at the corner of his lips. He ducked his head though, nodding as he reached down and pulled the lever to pop the trunk. "Let me... go outside with you," he said before he opened the door, ready to step out behind her.

Daphne closed her door, and made her way to the trunk, leaning somewhat to look over at Robin, "You don't have to you know, I can manage."

Robin pulled up the hood of his jacket as he slid out the car and onto the pavement. He just shook his head before opening the unlocked trunk for Daphne. "It's fine.. I know you can manage." That didn't mean he didn't want to help, if even a little. He pulled the suitcase out for her and turned her direction.

Daphne tilted her head and looked at him, "You're something else you know that? I don't need you getting sick, and you certainly don't need that." She held a hand out to take one of her bags off of him so he didn't have to carry all of her baggage.

Robin: There was no way that he was able to stop his smile at that point. Were his walls breaking down? At least chipping? "I'm fine," he assured her before he closed the trunk, his eyes set on hers again. "You don't need to worry about me."

Daphne took one of the bags from him, her gaze set on his. "You're a little late in telling me that, Robin. There's no way I'm just going to stop worrying about you now."

Robin stepped forward, unsure why he even took the step. Well, seemed like there were a lot of things that they shouldn't have been doing, one being just talking face to face, or even talking at all. He ran off for a reason, didn't he? But she said that she was changing and willing to go further. Of course he had his doubts, the lack of trust, but he would be lying if he said he didn't have a pull, one that simply betrayed him.

Daphne gulped as he stepped forward, and offered him another small smile, "thank you, again, for your help... do you want to come inside for a coffee or something to warm up?" She felt that if he was stepping forward, that a smile was tugging at his lips, that something had changed between them. She couldn't exactly pin point it, but she could tell that something was different. "I'm not going to force you, I just thought i'd offer."

Robin paused for a moment, his head falling a bit, though not in any sort of melancholy. He seemed a bit more relaxed, if only a little. There was still tension: the doubts, fears, they were all still there, but seemed to be blanketed. "I-I don't know, I should probably get going after I drop this stuff off," he answered softly, lifting the one bag she had left him with.

Daphne nodded, "I understand... Let's go get these things inside so you don't have to stand out in the rain with me anymore." She stated with a self deprecating chuckle. The brunette turned to go towards the entrance and used her key to go inside, opening the door with her foot. She placed her bag down and then made room so that Robin could place the bag down that he has in his hand. "I'll text you tomorrow okay? Just make sure to text me so I know you got home okay."

Robin followed Daphne closely towards the house and set the bag down once he was allowed to. "Yeah.. yeah, I will," he assured her as he stood up straight, his eyes finding hers again. Why did his heart feel as though it was about to leap out of his chest?

Daphne wrapped her arms around her torso, wanting to hug him, but figured it would be best if she didn't. "Okay good," she stated slowly, her gaze meeting his once more, her fingers clenching onto her jacket as she felt her heart skip a beat.

Robin: it was awkward, just leaving it with a still nod. The last time they had left one another, the two were screaming, before that, whenever they were on good terms, they would be endearing-- a hug or chaste kiss. They both seemed quite inappropriate, but the norm. They hardly were together as 'just friends', in fact, they began dating right away. Maybe that was why he found his eyes roaming to her lips, even if just for a split second. "Alright..." He breathed out before he ripped the gaze away. "I'll see you soon... stay safe, okay?"

Daphne felt awkward, more so than she had been around Robin for the past while. They were leaving one another in a way that she wasn't familiar with, and that of course, was a product of her won stupidity. Instead of acting on it, or saying anything, she simply gave the man whom she still loved a lingering look. The look didn't last long though, because Robin had glanced away, and all she was left with was the feeling of her stomach churning. "Yeah... I'll stay safe, so long as you do." She acknowledged, a small smile gracing her features. "Remember to text me when you get home, and try not to drive like a maniac."

Robin: "Yeah, yeah, I will.." Robin muttered, nodding his head before he took a step back. "Stay safe tonight, let me know if you need anything else.." It didn't matter what happened in the past, he still cared. Finally he turned on his heel.

Daphne felt an urge to take his hand, to touch him, or even hug him, but with how he had reacted before at even the slightest touch, she figured that anything more than that, and Robin would push her away. With how emotionally fragile she was in her current state, Daphne decided that acting on her impulsive nature wasn't the way to go. So instead, she took a step forward and leaned on the door frame as she watched him turn. "I will..." was all she said, knowing quite well that if she'd opened her mouth again an 'I love you' would come tumbling out, and that wasn't what needed to be said - at least not again. So, with a heavy heart, she moved back into her place and closed the door, only to lean against it once it was closed. She'd only move when she heard either his car door slam, or his engine start up.