#i hate how all i'm thinking about is how sexy my resume looks

[ujunxverse]

my hot girl era is employment

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪. (𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦) 🍊

⤷ summary: saudi arabian and australian grands prix happen! y/n starts making vlogs for the races and it reveals more about her and a certain driver's feelings than she hoped, not that she notices. poor oscar's stuck in the middle of it all but he's trying his best!

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liked by f1, landonorris, and 55,007 others

tagged landonorris and oscarpiastri

mclaren saudi arabia, you were beautiful even if the results weren't! ready for what's to come

12,567 comments

user1 admin not using a single nice photo of the drivers 😭

user2 admin be honest is this your revenge era

mclaren well, yes!

user3 HELP MEEEE

user4 the way lando looks at her 😭

user5 this is a place of business

user6 oscar looks petrified 💀

mclaren dw guys we're still training him!

oscarpiastri wtf why would u say it like that, i'm not a dog

mclaren full-time team mascot, part time driver

user7 admin drop the insta your so pretty 😭😭

user8 no literally, content of her WHERE

mclaren ynusername 🤲🏼

user9 LETS FUCKING GO

user10 HER DISSING HER OWN TEAM 💀 THEY'RE GONNA FIRE YOU GIRL

mclaren they don't pay me to LIE

user11 CRAZYY

user12 LANDO IS NEVER GETTING A GOOD PIC EVER AGAIN 😭

mclaren what can i say, i am no mans peace 🥱

user13 icon

landonorris reporting you to hr

mclaren for what

landonorris idk harrassment or something

mclaren ok keyboard warrior, lets calm down 💀

user14 KEYBOARD WARRIOR HELEPSJSM

user15 i vote admin just takes over and we don't even get driver pictures

user16 real and true

user17 i fear we may have lost the plot

user18 thoughts on today's results

mclaren i'm trying to be positive in general but man

user19 LMAOOOOO

user20 ik the pr department is shaking in their boots after every post notif

mclaren probably! but unfortunately for everyone, i am going to keep doing whatever i want

user21 no more lando beef, mclaren admin?

mclaren i forget but i never forgive. i forgot why we were fighting but i stay hating bitches 🥱

landonorris literally WHAT DID I DO

mclaren IDK BUT IK U PISSED ME OFF 🫵

oscarpiastri diabolical photo choice

oscarpiastri i look like a little kid on picture day

mclaren so basically your everyday look

oscarpiastri yk what you are making this work environment very hostile

mclaren i can make it more hostile if you want 🤨

oscarpiastri nevermind!!!

maxfewtrell most flattering lando picture i've seen in years

mclaren that's saying something isn't it 🤩

user22 i went to haterville and they all knew you admin

mclaren they actually just elected me mayor there!!! 💪🏻

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liked by bsfusername, landonorris, and 17,800 others

ynusername if my admin duties don't kill me, i promise my caffeine addiction will! (:

3,422 comments

user23 be honest, how many coffees have you had today

ynusername 3!

user24 oh that's not that bad

ynusername +5

user24 JESUS CHRSUT

bsfusername at this point i think meth would be healthier

ynusername honestly yeah

ynusername thanks for the suggestion!!

user25 nooo admin don't do meth ur so sexy aha

ynusername that just made me want to do meth more

landonorris so what i'm hearing is buying you an espresso machine would get me in your good graces 😇

user26 oh brother here he goes

ynusername you must be deaf then

landonorris 😔 2 espresso machines?

ynusername i don't want ur dirty espresso machines 🙄

oscarpiastri now what car is that 🫵

ynusername SHHHHH

oscarpiastri TRAITOR

bsf2username when your not busy being super sexy on a race track, can we go thrifting and get sweetgreen and overpriced coffee 🙏🏼🙏🏼

ynusername this could've been an email, get this out of my comments 💀

ynusername but yeah obviously

user27 admin vlogs when 😔

ynusername SOON!!! very very soon

user28 mother feeding us once again

ynusername brb, adding single mom who works two jobs, loves her kids, and never stops to my resume

danielricciardo coffee recipe where?

ynusername in your dms now ‼️

danielricciardo is this flirting

ynusername no if i was flirting i would've told you to ask me in person, i'm just being charitable

landonorris can i get the coffee recipe too then 🤲🏼

ynusername wdy want next, my mugs? keep on walking charity case

user29 CHARITY CASE IS CRAZYDFHAJ

user30 she's so effortlessly funny and mean i love her

user31 i feel like this is so unprofessional /:

ynusername babe professional where, you are on??? my personal?? account???

user32 maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the fact that she's consumed enough caffeine to tranquelize a horse

user33 oh please the horse would be dead

ynusername call an ambulance, BUT NOT FOR ME ‼️💪🏻🗣️

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ynusername posted to story!

(caption: melbourne vlog out now on youtube, go watch!!)

15,221 replies

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would you like to watch? yes or no

now loading...

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"This thing better be working," could be heard slightly muffled in between vague shuffling sounds. After a second or two of incoherent noise, the camera footage finally came on. Y/N smiled at herself in the camera as the recording light blinked to life, and raised her hand victoriously. She grabbed the smile microphone in front of her and laughed, "It looks like everything is working. Thank God, I wouldn't have known how to fix it otherwise."

"Alright everybody, welcome to the first race weekend vlog hosted by me! Your favorite McLaren admin and social manager. It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to go about this, but now I think I settled on a format that will work," She explained as she walked around the small, clean kitchen that was within frame of the camera. She pulled a glass jar out of her cabinets and left it on the counter before pulling a jug of cold brew and a cartridge of milk out of her fridge.

"It is currently 7:30 A.M on March 29th, and I have a flight to Melbourne in 3 hours. I'm already packed and ready for this weekend, but I wanted to get an introduction filmed and I wanted to take a shower before I left." Y/N paused for a moment as she poured the coffee into her mason jar until she seemed satisfied and began to add some milk. "I am totally exhausted so this is probably cup one of like," she laughed, "I don't know seven probably. And this is a pretty big jar I won't lie."

"The race weekend doesn't technically start until Friday, so I'll be getting there a bit early, but I wanted to film some content before the race weekend gets really hectic, so McLaren is sending me a little bit earlier. I'm excited though! I love the heat, even if I live in London the antithesis of Australian weather," she taste-tested her coffee and hummed in delight.

"God I really never miss with this stuff," she said contently. "Anyway, it's a bit of an early start today, but I'll have plenty of time to sleep on the fight. I mean can you believe that London to Melbourne is a nearly 22 hours," she scoffed. "I vote that we start making all of the races in one place so I don't have to feel jet lag more painful than the force of 1,000 suns every other weekend. Not that I'm complaining," she chuckled awkwardly, "I love my job McLaren please don't fire me."

Abruptly an orange tabby cat came into the frame of the camera, causing Y/N to abruptly grab her glass jar in the hopes of avoiding a mess. She gasped, but laughed as the cat scampered off as quickly as it had come. She shook her head fondly.

"That, ladies and gentleman, was Cali! My cat. She's literally my baby, and I love her more than anything else on this earth. However, she does have an affinity for hitting things off of counters and breaking them. She also hates men and nearly all other animals, so she's basically the world's biggest hazard to society. She's a good girl, I love her." Y/N explained between sips of coffee as she stared wistfully past the the frame of the camera, where it could be assumed Cali had gone.

Abruptly an alarm went off and Y/N threw her head back with a groan.

"That means I have to get in the shower and get ready so I can leave on time," she said, before taking a few more sips of coffee. "I'm going to go do that, and the next time you'll hear my beautiful voice will be at the Melbourne Airport! Cue the travel montage!"

An assortment of clips follow. Y/N is seen dragging her luggage through Heathrow Airport. Y/N is seen ordering another coffee at the airport, finishing the coffee, and ordering another before her flight. Y/N is seen responding to emails from her airplane seat, editing video footage, and responding to instragram and twitter comments. Footage is shown outside the plane window of a cloudy, blue sky and a time lapse is shown as the sky grows beautiful shades of pink and red before becoming a starry-night sky. Y/N is seen cozy in a throw blanket and a travel pillow, presumably asleep with headphones on. Y/N is shown pulling her luggage through the airport once again, with a brand new coffee cup in hand. She smiles, taking a sip before she is seen settled down in a seat in the bustling airport.

"Twenty-two or so hours later and I have finally landed in Melbourne. I'm waiting for my Uber to get here so I can finally be taken to my hotel to drop my stuff off. I have a meeting with the McLaren drivers in two hours, but luckily I slept really well on the plane. I don't know how else I would be able to deal with Lando Norris. I'm going to finish this coffee in order to maximize my tolerance for the next few hours, but I suspect I'll be getting a new coffee before I reach that meeting. My addiction truly knows no bounds," she laughs, trying to ignore the people vaguely shown within frame that are staring at her speaking to a camera.

The camera cuts abruptly and the waiting screen from SpongeBob flashes on the screen, including the narrator's voice reading "2 hours later."

Y/N is shown once again in new clothes, a new coffee cup in hand, and luggage replaced by a small canvas bag. Her comfortable plane clothes have been swapped out for jean shorts and a plain white tank-top. Her hair is clipped back out of her face, and she is adorned with simple gold jewelry and light makeup.

Y/N smiles at the camera as she walks, bustling and talking heard around her, before whispering into the small microphone, "I have arrived at the McLaren garage. It is now time to meet with Lord Lando and workplace mascot Oscar Piastri," the titles slip off her tongue sarcastically and she doesn't bother suppressing an eye-roll.

In the next clip, Oscar and Lando are seen seated on either side of her as they sit in what seems like a board-room. Lando leans over and whispers something that the camera doesn't pick up and Oscar laughs while Y/N grimaces and reaches forward to readjust the camera. When the camera comes back on, Lando and Oscar are seated together on the left of Y/N as she faces on angle toward both them and the camera.

"Don't just sit there and look pretty, say hello to the camera boys," Y/N says and Oscar cackles at the disgruntled look on Lando's face.

"Is that your way of calling me pretty Y/N," Lando chokes out between laughs, and Y/N scoffs with an eye-roll.

"I was actually talking about Oscar, but whatever floats your little papaya boat Norris," Y/N deadpans and Oscar doubles over from the force of his laughter at the pout on Lando's face.

"That's not nice at all, I hope you know that. I think I am sitting here very prettily, thank you very much," Lando says, leaning into the girl next to him to speak into her microphone.

Y/N draws the microphone back, swatting him away, "Yes, yes quite prettily," Y/N mocks in a British accent.

Oscar, still trying to recover, joins in, "Pretty little Lando Norris," and Y/N laughs jovially, reaching across Lando as if the boy weren't there to high-five the Austrialian driver.

"Bullies, the lot of you," Lando mumbles and Y/N brushes off his comment without response before finally facing the camera.

"Anyway, welcome to the first McLaren race weekend vlog. I'm Y/N L/N, the best media manager in the whole god damn world, and this is Lando Norris, the biggest pain in my ass, and Oscar Piastri, the second biggest pain in my ass. How are you feeling about Melbourne boys?" Y/N questions, transitioning smoothly much to the British driver's chagrin.

"Feeling proud to be the second biggest pain in the ass and not the first. Probably the only time i've been glad to get second actually," Oscar comments and Y/N laughs as Lando shakes his head in disappointment.

"But in all seriousness it is good to be home, this is easily my favorite race of the year seeing as it's my home race and i'm looking forward to, hopefully, good results from our team," Oscar supplies and Y/N nods along to his words.

"Yes, Australia, we are in you and we are happy about it," both boys choked out a laugh at the manager's sexual innuendo and Oscar quickly covered his mouth with his hand so as not to react too much. "What about you Lando what are you feeling," Y/N questioned, leaning the small microphone to the boy.

"Feeling like that was a stupid joke. And also like I am going to be getting P1 this weekend. I can feel it in my bones."

"Leave my jokes alone Lando, you're not being paid to be a critic," she scoffed, "and if I recall, you said the same thing in Saudi Arabia not that long ago. What's changed now?"

Lando rolled his eyes, "What's changed is that we're in Australia now and I'm feeling much more confident."

"Well thank god for that," Y/N supplied unhelpfully as Oscar laughed.

"Now, what we really came here for, it's time to film a video for this channel, it's going to be a fan Q and A, I picked the questions. By the time this vlog is up, the QnA should've already been posted. So feel free to stop watching this and to go watch that or whatever," Y/N commented. "After that we're going to film a TikTok challenge," both and Lando and Oscar grimaced, but Y/N ignored their dismay at the idea of fiming yet another TikTok, so cue the montage! Filming time!" Y/N exclaimed and the screen transitioned to a new series of clips.

In the first clip Oscar and Lando were sitting in two chairs while Y/N sat across from them with a set of notecards.

"Lando, this question from user "ln4mania" asks, "Are you and admin actually friends? Or is the online beef real? The people demand answers!" Y/N reads off with a laugh.

"Do you hear that, the people demand answers Lando! Don't keep them waiting!" Oscar and Y/N laugh as Lando shakes his head and tucks his face into his hands.

"There is no beef, guys. Me and admin, or rather me and Y/N are just fine. We hadn't even actually met when that happened," Lando supplied between laughs. Y/N looked at the camera and rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, faux-disagreeing with the boy.

She ignored the simmering pit of disappointment in her stomach. She did in fact have a problem with entitled little Lando Norris who still gave her side-eyed looks and judgmental stares whenever he saw her. If that wasn't humiliating enough, Oscar had clearly noticed it too, which just gave Y/N the feeling that she wasn't being taken seriously at all now that Oscar understood Lando's lack of respect for Y/N. However that didn't matter in the current moment. All that mattered was making this video.

The next clip showed Lando and Oscar sitting at a table with bowls of water in front of them and towels strewn across a chair just within frame of the camera. Y/N stood behind them, hands rested in their hair as she reacted to the prompts being read by someone, an unnamed media intern, off-camera.

"Who is harder to make videos with?" The intern asked and Y/N huffed out a laugh as she let her hands fully grasp Lando's curls and push him into the water quickly. He sputtered, trying to blink the water out of his eyes as Y/N laughed at the wet-puppy dog look he was sporting.

Y/N tried to shake the ridiculous desire to let her hands run through the soft curls underneath her finger tips. Curse Lando and whatever stupidly good, rich-person hair routine he used that made him smell good and look good, and... whatever.

Lando, blinking water out of his eyes, was now undoubtedly certain that being damn-near waterboarded was worth it if it meant that Y/N would laugh like that again. He knew Oscar would harass him again later for being "down-bad" or something along those lines- as he had done every time he caught the man staring-, but as he caught a glimpse of Y/N's bright smile and shaking shoulders, he found he didn't really care.

The next clip showed Oscar, Lando, Y/N, and a laughing media intern as they all dried off- somehow all having become wet through the course of filming. Y/N dried herself off quickly, taking a sip of her newly refilled coffee, not seeing the way that only the camera and Oscar saw Lando stared at her until the driver was nudged back into focus on drying himself off.

A title-card once again came on the screen with white words on a photo collage of Australian grand-prix candids that Y/N had taken, reading "Race montage? More likely than you'd think."

Footage was shown of the free practice sessions. Oscar and Lando getting in and out of their cars. Engineers along the pit wall going over data. The team speaking incoherently, going over the game plan for Sunday's race. Oscar and Lando greeting fans, signing merch, and posing for photos. Y/N smiling and waving at a cheering crowd of people before staring at the camera incredulously with a small caption reading: "Omg she's famous your honor". More clips showed Lando laughing as Oscar tossed grapes and Lando moved to catch them with his mouth. Lando nearly choking as Y/N cackled in the background. Multiple clips showing Y/N with a fresh coffee, and another... and another, as Oscar's face in the background grew with concern. Zak Brown explaining to Y/N the dangers of caffeine overdose, and the need for moderation. Y/N explaining to Zak Brown that without coffee she would simply collapse and die, which the camera showed did nothing to ease her concern. Y/N getting caps signed by the drivers for fans and walking away with intricate friendship bracelets decorating her wrists.

And finally footage of the race. The engineers in the garage. The pit-crew changing tires. The cars racing past as Y/N watched attentively. Footage of the crowd as they cheered when the cars whizzed past. Smiling faces of fans. Y/N's cheers as Oscar and Lando passed. The smiling faces of McLaren employees as Lando and Oscar crossed the checkered flag in P6 and P8 respectively.

Y/N accepting hugs from both drivers, ignoring the burning sensation in her stomach as Lando wrapped his arms around her with a smile and a laugh. Y/N calling Lando smelly and telling him to go wash off if he wants to hug her next time, and him rolling his eyes at her fondly before making a face at the camera. The podium celebration is shown and Y/N smiles as the anthem plays, even though it's not for her own team.

The final clip is shown of Y/N in her hotel room, comfortable in sweats as she sits on the unmade bed.

"Not bad results this week guys! P6 for Lando and P8 for Oscar, which are good points for the team. I'm happy on my end, I think we got some good content filmed, and I am now ready to go to sleep so I can get home to Cali and my own bed quicker. I hope you enjoyed this video, and if you didn't don't tell me because I don't care!" Y/N jokes with a smile.

"Hopefully I will see you all at the next race, if not the race after that! Bye papaya fans, and be sure to follow us on instagram and all of the other social platforms!" Y/N exclaimed, gesturing to the list of the social media handles that appeared on her right hand side.

And with that, the camera cut to black.

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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 29,145 others

ynusername afraid to report that i fought jetlag and lost 😔 i did sleep for 25 hours straight after melbourne and i had no clue where i was when i woke up! shout out cali for waking me up 🙏🏼 best friend frl

9,547 comments

bsfusername i'm going to try not to be offended by that caption (love you bb cali) but FUCK YOU CAUSE I BOUGHT YOUR ASS BREAKFAST

ynusername my bad! s/o to that bomb ass omlette 🤩

bsfusername never doing shit for you again

user34 that vlog was god tier, how long did that take

ynusername it took 7 hours of editing and years off my life, thanks so much for asking 🥳

maxverstappen1 thanks again for those podium photos! you have a gift for photography 💪🏻

ynusername don't mention it! 👍🏼

ynusername (no seriously, mclaren might behead me)

mclaren beheading is so last year. firing squad. 🗣️

user35 not y/n threatening herself 💀

oscarpiastri suprised your body didn't naturally wake up for coffee

ynusername it did! just 25 hours later

user36 your poor cat was literally starving for a whole day? youre a horrible owner

ynusername let me introduce you to god's greatest creation: the automatic feeder!!! i'm sure they can mail one to whatever fucking rock you live under!

user37 PERIODDDD

user38 me personally? i'd never log on again

user39 she needs a personal channel 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i'd subscribe

user40 her cat is so cute 😭😭😭 gimme that

ynusername 🫵 STAY BACK HEATHEN, NO ONE TOUCHES CALI AND LIVES

user40 my bad fam 🧍🏻‍♀️

user41 i want someone to love me as much as she loves that mean ass cat

landonorris don't you have a job to be doing 💀💀 she slept through a full work day

user42 lando always on her ass and for whattttt

user43 obsessed obsessed obsessed

ynusername i had the day off! but not the guy who was streaming video games coming for me 🥱 talking bout get a job

user44 lando and y/n beefing on insta again? we're so back

user45 at this point instagram comment beef isn't enough, they need to duel or some shit

user46 the caffeine addiction almost got her guys

ynusername i wish it would, then i wouldn't have to work with lando's annoying ass

landonorris I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS???

ynusername THAT'S THE POINT

user47 honestly just give her a gun atp, these men test her too damn much

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user48 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S RIGHT HERE

user49 no fr, like let's get back to bed grandma

user50 OP, are you concussed?

user51 no actually cause didn't y/n just say she wanted to khs working with him 💀💀

pastryboy81 that sign can't stop me, because i can't read!

user53 OK I ACTUALLY SEE THE VISION

user54 ARE YOUR EYES CLOSED???!1!1

user55 i fear i totally get it 😔

user56 it's giving enemies to lovers, secret relationship type vibe lowkkkk

user57 no deadass like he hugged her reallll tight

user58 she also hugged oscar 😭😭?? and he has a whole gf

user59 the way she shoved him off and told him he reeked not 5 seconds after 💀 delusion is a disease yall

user60 someone call the f1 gossip pages cause 😗

user61 more like someone call the ward cause somethings real off with yall 🤨

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sorry that this update took forever, i had surgery and recovery has been rougher than i expected! hope you enjoy!!

please leave your thoughts in the comments and feel free to drop a request for your fav in my asks <3

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[wannaeatramyeon]

Lookism: "If you die tomorrow, would you have any regrets?"

G/N. Jake, Goo, Gun, DG, Ryuhei, Sammy. Reminder that Gun is canonically a gamer lmao.

Jake looks up at you in surprise, the morbid question catching him off guard.

"Why?" he asks, tilting his head.

"It was just a question I read."

"Hmm," Jake rubs at his chin and gazes off somewhere in the distance, no doubt thinking about all that has happened in his life. "Yeah. Loads."

Oh. You weren't expecting that-

"A lot of things I've made my peace with," Jake shrugs and you know he means Sinu and Samuel and Big Deal.

The mess with Workers, the falling out with Samuel and end of the Golden Era, the arrest of so many of his crew. He knows his mom is disappointed that he is so much like his father, his time in juvie, and Jake thinks if he tried better in school instead of fighting then maybe things would have worked out a lot differently.

"But-" he tugs on your hand, pulling you off-balance and falling straight into his lap.

"I'd regret not spending more time with you. All the time trying to be a good boss rather than a good boyfriend."

You open your mouth to argue that he is a good boyfriend but he continues on-

"I'd regret leaving you on your own. Even though I know you'd find someone easily," And Jake manages a small wistful smile, "I'd regret not being there for you."

.

.

"Me?" Goo blinks, looking up from his manga.

"Yes, you. The only other person here."

"Just checking, Cupcake." Goo thinks briefly for a moment before making up his mind.

"I'll regret not seeing how this manga ends," then he narrows his eyes, stabbing angrily at the page, "And not going to Japan to hunt down this asshole for killing my fave off-screen."

"Goo!" Maybe this is on you for expecting a serious answer.

He gets up and makes his way to you, peppers kisses all over your face as you roll your eyes. "You're not planning on killing me are you, Sweetheart?"

"Yes. Tonight. There's a knife under my pillow."

"Make sure you don't wake me, do it quick," he grins mischievously then-

An unpleasant thought pops up and he pulls a face. "Once I'm dead, you better not fall in love with anyone else. My ghost will haunt you, y'know."

"Fine, I'll just be sad and alone and mourning over you forever."

"Perfect!"

But what would Goo actually regret?

What's the saying? You can't take it with you.

Goo has such fun plans once he retires from all this crew shit. Neither of you have to work another day again, you can just spend the rest of your lives terrorising the general public instead. Travelling the world, swimming in a pool of money together, sleeping on a bed of cash. All that fun stuff.

Goo doesn't regret the time amassing his fortune, his little safety net for the future. But if he was to die tomorrow, he would regret not having that future with you.

.

.

Gun pauses the video game at your question, then turns to you with a brow arched, "Why do you think I'm going to die?"

"It's hypothetical. Like in a fight or something."

An arrogant smile spreads, "And who's strong enough to kill me?"

You click your tongue in annoyance at his response although you hate to admit that damn, you find his attitude sexy as hell. There's just something about him being able to back up his confidence with his skills and talent.

"Just answer my question!"

"No I would not have any regrets," he says, already turning back and resuming his game.

Of course Gun doesn't. As if someone like him would have any regrets.

Eyes still on the screen and fingers clicking on the controller, Gun adds quietly. "But you will be taken care of."

Oh.

If Gun were to die tomorrow, he would regret not being able to take care of you. Being by your side. In his line of work, it is always a possibility no matter how strong he is. The least he could do, and has done, is make sure that at least no harm or hardships befalls you after he is gone.

Money, protection, freedom. If he can't have a future, then he will assure yours.

.

.

DG falters mid-stride, giving it the briefest of thoughts before coming to a conclusion.

"Nope," he says with a cocky smirk.

He has very little to regret. His life as DG is what most people dream of. Fame and fortune, power and influence.

As James Lee he has proven he's the strongest, he's the peak and untouchable.

There's very little left for him to accomplish. Why would he have any regrets?

But, he supposes, as he is later handled by the assistants and the stylists, then plasters on a fake smile for TV appearances before being ushered to some event full of schmoozers and fakers and having to make small talk as DG, the idol and CEO-

Is that maybe if he could do it again, he would choose something with more privacy. More freedom. That he could do what he wants, whenever he wants.

And most importantly-

That he can walk hand in hand with you down the street without rabid fans screaming and the paparazzi photos making headlines.

Without you being on the receiving end of death threats and unhinged letters, and his agent and company telling him that he needs to apologize for his relationship. Backtrack it. Single idols sells better, appeals to the public more.

If DG died tomorrow, he thinks that actually he would regret this. He regrets keeping you in the shadows.

.

.

Ryuhei doesn't hesitate and tells you he wishes you were his first. For everything.

Even hand holding. Even hugs.

You pull a face at that.

"That's... Sweet." You say, lying through your teeth as Ryuhei looks at you with concerned puppy eyes.

"You wish the same, right?"

"Sure," you agree because where's the harm in appeasing this goofball.

In truth, and Ryuhei hates thinking about it, is that he does desperately wish that he met you first. Before Mitsuki, before anyone else.

Nevermind that it's a completely futile, fanciful dream because everything that has happened has led him to you.

But he thinks it would have worked out better. He could have been a better person, a better boyfriend. If he met you before he had a chance to develop his sex pest tendencies and obsessive behaviour that you had to stamp out.

It's pointless though. Not even worth dwelling on. What has happened has happened and he could only try to be better now.

Ryuhei considers the question again with a sigh. If he dies tomorrow, what would he regret?

Oh yeah! He would absolutely regret this!

"I'd regret that we can't bang anymore!"

"Ryuhei!"

.

.

Samuel immediately feels defensive at your question.

He thinks about what he hasn't yet achieved. All his dreams of becoming King, being at the top, and yet he's no closer.

"Why?" he asks, eyes starting to narrow behind his glasses.

You hold up both palms, in a gesture to indicate you didn't mean anything by it and your face tells him to just chill.

"I dunno. I found it and thought it was an interesting question."

"It's not." Samuel says, effectively ending the conversation and eyes dipping back down to his phone.

But it doesn't just end.

Samuel spirals and doesn't talk to you for the rest of the day, his shortcomings haunting him instead.

He drinks and he smokes and he spends even more time at work, trying to dull the ache of his inferiority.

The mornings and nights pass by in a blur, a string of toxic behaviours and self sabotage, until eventually - he comes to.

His failures and faults pushed to the back of his mind, rather than a constant reminder.

Then like a fog clearing, he finds clarity again. He sees your face, the worry, the trepidation... The guilt for asking an innocent question.

And Samuel knows that his biggest regret of all if he dies tomorrow is that you deserved better and he hasn't been able to give that to you.

[mikefaistslut]

anything for you

chapter 3

“So, I googled you.” It was the first thing I could think to say. I wish I’d gone with “you look nice,” or maybe “good to see you again,” but I went with, “So, I googled you.”

“Did you find anything good?” He was perfectly relaxed, and he really did look nice. Suit and tie, hair perfectly fluffy.

“Broadway isn’t exactly a small stage.” I said, easing into it. He could see where I was going with this.

“I liked that you didn’t know who I was. Also, I would’ve seemed like a dick if I’d read off my entire professional resume. ‘Did you want my extra bag of peanuts? Also, I wanted to let you know I was nominated for a Tony.’ I’d only bring it up in casual conversation if i’d won.”

"West Side Story isn't exactly a 'short film' either. There's pictures of you standing next to Steven. Spielberg." I talked about it like this was news to him, like it wasn't literally his life and his memories. He seemed amused.

"Are you angry I didn't tell you?"

"Not angry so much as just shocked. I assumed I was flirting with a super low-key struggle-for-your-art kinda guy. Not a guy who knows what Steven Spielberg smells like."

"Kind of citrus-y. Maybe a little earthy tone to it." I hated myself for all the questions I had to ask. But I couldn't not ask.

"So if you're that famous, how come you weren't flying on a private jet situation?"

"I'm not private jet famous. I mean, don't get me wrong, I definitely get recognized, it's just more by theater people. Dear Evan Hansen fans, West Side, Newsies, you get it."

"See, that was you reading off your professional resume. But I figured that's what it was. I was never super into musicals. I tried to be, I could just never get it to stick in my brain. I went in and out of a lot of phases as a kid." I was dying to ask more of the juicy details, but I couldn't. Not yet. On the other hand, I found myself just wanting to know more about him personally, and I wanted him to know more about me. All the lame stuff like his favorite color, his favorites movies when he was a little kid, what his parents are like, etc. But I also wanted to know what it would be like to touch him. To kiss his beautiful face. To breathe him in. I asked all the questions and I let him go on and on. He'd try to steer the conversation to something about me and I'd turn it right back around to him. Anything just to stare at that gorgeous face just one second longer. Dinner was coming to an end and I hadn't even noticed how much time had passed until he brought it up.

"I'm sorry, I feel like I've just talked about only myself for the last three hours. Is that a total turn-off?" He was so fucking adorable.

"You could talk to me about anything and it wouldn't be a turn-off." And I meant it too. He seemed to like this answer.

"So if I started to talk about calculus or hip dysplasia or microbiology, you'd still want to go back to my hotel room with me?"

"Do you even know enough about those things to have an actual conversation about them?" I was avoiding the question.

"You're avoiding the question.. and no, I don't. I'm a dramatic arts school drop out. Sexy, right?"

I was eager, and he could tell. "Are you ready to go now?" I asked, gaining confidence.

"I was waiting for you to say that." Mike quickly paid the bill and stretched his hand out to mine to lead me out of the restaurant and into the cool, London air. He placed his hand on the small of my back as we walked to his hotel. I began to feel so incredibly nervous. Would he want to see me again if I gave it all away so soon? Would he still respect me? Does he even respect me now? A million questions were flooding through my mind, but I did my best to just relax. I decided to take things slow and let him take the lead. Maybe I was over thinking everything and he was just leading me back to his hotel room so we could order room service dessert and watch movies together, fully clothed and sitting six feet away from each other on opposite ends of the room. Maybe I was completely delusional and nothing remotely exciting was going to happen.

When we got to his hotel and the elevator doors shut to take us up to his room, I felt the sexual tension. At that point, I didn't care if he respected me. I needed to touch him and I needed him to touch me. I started slow, taking my hand from his and reaching further up his arm to wrap my hand around his bicep.

"Are you nervous?" He was a mind reader apparently.

"A hundred percent. But I really like you. Really really like you. I'm trying to be present and in the moment and spontaneous, and-"

He cut me off by pressing each of his hands on the sides of my face, pushing my hair behind my ears and walking me back against the wall of the elevator. He looked into my eyes and whispered, so delicately, "I'm going to kiss you now, okay?" Him asking only made it a million times more attractive. Cheeks flushed and heart in my stomach, I could only nod. He pressed his lips to mine. Slowly, our mouths melted together as I wrapped my hands around his slender waist, pulling him into me. Needing him even closer than he already was if that was even possible. As we both grew more passionate, more needy for each other, the elevator doors opened to his floor. We both pull ourselves away at the sound of someone clearing their throat, clearly not prepared to walk in on the scene we'd created.

"Oh! Uh, um- we're very sorry," Mike says as he grabs my hand and pulls me out of the elevator, rushing me down the hallway while simultaneously fishing for his key in his pants pocket. I laugh so hard my stomach begins to cramp.

The second we're inside his hotel room, I feel myself being picked up and thrown over Mike's shoulder. Both laughing, he places me on his bed and leans over, propping himself up on his hands.

"So, how about a movie?"

[lunarsilkscreen]

Autism and The "Happy" Mask salesman

This has nothing to do with Nintendo or any of its mascots. The "Happy" mask salesman is just an apt graphical representation of this topic of today's "discussion".

Why have we seen a surge in Autistics in recent years? What causes Autism? Is Autism a mental disorder or is it a physical malady that makes interest the brain's processing power?

This is a difficult subject to broach. Because *this* kind of topic always has the potential of creating a "discovered genetic bias."

We must keep reminding ourselves that there is no such thing.

The way that I approach this topic is "How do I teach this person the thing I'm trying to talk with them about?"

Most approach it with a [Can't do] attitude!

THE STUDENT JUST WONT LEARN! THEY MUST BE A DEFECTIVE STUDENT!

Meanwhile the defect the Teacher is trying to diagnose is present in the teacher themselves...

This why we need to keep reminding ourselves.

I do not speak for [All] cases. I believe I can explain away [Most] cases though. Because I have an extensive resume of coaching the most Autistic of Student Apes in the Most Difficult of Choreography.

God damn I love my job.

Take a flock of sheep. One of them has Black Wool. What does this look like to the herd? And to the Black Sheep?

Well. Everybody knows the Black Sheep and the Black Sheep knows everybody! The Black Sheep must be able to read minds because they keep finding all the secrets that the other white sheep keep complaining about.

How come everybody knows the Black Sheep, but they don't know me? Even the Black Sheep can't know everybody? Right? They keep forgetting everybody's names after-all...

From the outside of the Black Sheep in normal [White Sheep] culture; the Black Sheep looks different, not physically, but also mentally. Because they are treated differently.

No wants to be Treated like the Black Sheep because everybody hates the black sheep, and everybody wants to be the Black Sheep because they can get away with saying anything!

From outside of Sheep Culture... Let's say... A Shepard's perspective; the Black Sheep looks like a leader, cleaning up everybody's messes, greasing everybody's wheels; holy shit, this Black Sheep has too much power! We might need to take em out for suspected terrorist plots against the Herder's guild!

But to the colorblind Sheep Dog; they're the same color. They're all the Flock. So when tasked with taking out a "Threat" the Sheep Dog has no idea what the Herdsman is even talking about.

So now the Sheep Dog looks insubordinate.

And then it does become a conspiracy.

"We the White Sheep must protect all Sheep, even and especially the most vulnerable sheep. Sheep Dog; this is the one your Master seeks, please do not eat him."

"Fear not Sheep, for I am colorblind, and Could not tell one Spartacus from the other. My sacred duty is to find lost sheep, not eat them."

And now the Herdman are suspicious... Why is it the Black Sheep has disappeared, and the most valuable of Black Wool is gone. And why is always one sheep sheared *before* shearing day?

The black sheep is trying to hide! But that won't work because we see your plot now Black Sheep!

And then some of the White sheep start sheering their wool before shearing day. Because it's the "Cool" thing to do.

And they scatter their wool to the wind, and they put on sexy bathing suits and say;

What are you gonna do predators? Eat us?

And the herdsmen fed up with this carefully consider their options. Sell the flock for a single payday; Sell the Flock for their Meat for the same Price; or bend to the Demand of the Black Sheep so that they may have the opportunity to sell their wool at equitable prices again.

Instead; the Herdsmen turn to the sheepdog and say "Fix this or we replace you".

And the Sheepdog, with his very meal ticket threatened thinks "Where will I get food next? Not from the Sheep who will not trust me to protect them. Not from you who no longer trust me.

So where should I get my meal ticket from?"

Well... Bacon fries up nicely in the summer heat...

[majorbaby]

Tell me about your bj/frank/margaret headcanon

lol unfortunately it's not very sexy* because BJ would never, and he's full of boring excuse like "i'm heterosexual" or "it would be wrong".

some may imagine that HawkBeej have a soul connection upon their first meeting and I don't begrudge anyone that, but I personally don't agree and I don't think the writers would either. there is a reason BJ and Hawkeye have that whole traumatic trip back from Kimpo, the heart-to-heart in the bar (it might be Rosie's, idr)... all that stuff was necessary for them to bond. that's what BJ saying "Ferret Face" really symbolizes - the sealing of the "television bffs" contact between Hawkeye and BJ, they need both parts of "Welcome to Korea" for that to happen.

as far as I'm concerned, if Frank and Margaret had gotten to him first, who's to say he wouldn't have fallen in with them - headcanonically speaking only, this couldn't have happened on the show because BJ is ADAB assigned deuteragonist at birth. I think BJ does have a certain respect for authority and an appreciation for someone who he thinks knows what they're doing. i could see him falling into a disastership with Frank and Margaret lol, spearheaded by him thinking that "they seem nice" read = kind of weird and horny for him, Frank was creaming his pants reading BJ's resume lol I didn't say it, the writers did. he's like a third wheel, but they're both really into the idea of him.

like just imagine Frank and Margaret buttering him up, telling him what a great surgeon they imagine he is, and how great it is that he's joined them. Margaret swooning a little over BJ's gushing about his wife and child, and frank swooning even more because "oh Dr. Hunnicutt is a Phi Kappa Delta* wow Dr. Hunnictt you look sooo great in your class As heehee"

While I don't think BJ would reject Hawkeye entirely as potential friend if he met him later, he does on multiple occasions show disdain for the various ways in which Hawkeye expresses himself and his opinions. They have a lot in common but their value systems clash, and tbh you could say the same for BJ and Frank/Margaret. Actually, Frank and BJ have some common ground in terms of "American Values", which I hate very much thank you showrunners.

And for Hawkeye's part, he'd probably be put off if he saw BJ so much as getting along with Frank and Margaret lol, Hawkeye can be petty like that.

In my mind this would be played up for maximum humorous effect, with BJ's coming to the horrifying conclusion that he's made a huge mistake and writing home to Peg about the whole thing as if she can do anything about it. The final straw comes when he catches the (married) Frank Burns making out with Margaret. This is offends his senses in a much more visceral way than any of the other vaguely questionable things he's heard Frank and Margaret utter, which sort of make him tilt his head like a beagle trying to understand if he's heard them correctly.

*while i was writing this someone else asked about them so i am going to try my very best to find a way to make it... 'sexy' is not the right word, more like 'sexual. evil. awful'

*Phi Kappa Delta not an actual frat, simply the first three greek letters to come to mind

[mimimariet]

Vent art.

At least that's the truest thing my ex ever said lmao.

This is.. long. And not all of it. But just some of the important things I feel like sharing.

Being in love really does just blind you from all the red flags your partner displays. My friends hated him. They also witnessed the abuse and I was just like "oh nah this is normal he's always like this! He means well, he's such a sweetie! He loves me!" Meanwhile I'm getting emotionally abused and neglected being absolutely blinded.. I said yes to marrying this dude. I'm embarrassed.  And it's gonna take me so long to recover from the mental damage. "I talk to everyone the same way I talk to you!" and I have people saying "uh, no?"

 "I don't want to be perceived as a bad person!" and then treats me like shit behind closed doors. 

Every single time I cleaned he shat on me about it "You call this clean, Marie? This is disgusting. If you're gonna clean dishes, just don't. Stick to the easy things." He sent me voice clips to intimidate me. I told him I wanted a ukulele and he sent me like 10 minutes of voice clips saying "no you waste your money Marie you don't use the shit you ever buy for yourself!" and then at the same time "It's your money you can do as you please I don't care what you buy but I know you're not gonna use it."  I'll never be able to forget the cruel words and way he treated me. I can probably heal from it, and I could wish him dead. I would love to see him get the help he needs but that's a damn joke.  "My mom was right, we're not financially compatible. She always said "wine taste but beer money."" The end of our relationship being a "trial run, welcome to a real relationship, Marie. This is what it's like." and then taking a dig at.. my upbringing? My family?? How I was raised?? "I never once gaslit you Marie. I never once made you feel like you were crazy."

"It's not you, it's me." and then blaming me for "bad timing" anytime he wanted to do anything with me when I was in a depressive episode from something HE would always cause. He never wanted to leave the house. He promised me all these things we'd do when I'd move all the way from Florida to bumfuck Illinois. I don't hate where I live. I hate that I got lied to that things would be different. "You can heal in the environment you got sick in" and then just made me sicker. The engagement ring he got me didn't fit. It was his idea to get me a new one. Who paid for it? My credit card. It took him 2 years to pay me back the $375 that was spent on it. 2 YEARS. He made me feel so undesirable.  "Marie it really hurts ME when you say you're unattractive, cause you are. You're fucking gorgeous!" and then proceeds to never touch me. Lol. A whole year without intimacy. Only recently had it dawned on me just how manipulative he was. "I was gonna ask for sexy times but you're upset so maybe another time." It happened EVERY time I was down in the dumps. He said "I dunno if it's you or me who has bad timing." Go to hell. There's another thing I could say but that's his problem that I won't just share to the public. But even then, he never did anything he said he'd do to resolve that. More lies, anything to keep me with him. "You need to learn how to cope." he said to me when we haven't had alone time in months and I was upset about it. 

There was a segment in the H3 Podcast where they announced looking for artists for Teddy Fresh. He told me about it and said I should apply. I asked later about my resume and he said "Oh.. I didn't think you'd actually do it. I dunno." Very supportive partner he was! 

"When you're in Illinois we're gonna get you health insurance, we're gonna get you a car and your license" and then "I suck as a teacher, my dad's gonna teach you." and he handled all my medical stuff. When I transferred to Circle K up here I had to quit, cause management was super toxic.  We worked at the same store and the manager would tell him how she was going to fire me cause I was an awful employee. So I sought out a new job.. and during that.. "You're gonna get your GED Marie!" and he brings home a math book to go over fractions with me. "I don't want to get my GED." "Well how are you going to get a better job??" and when I ended things, YES I ENDED THINGS IT WAS NOT MUTUAL. "Maybe I didn't push you (for the GED) hard enough or maybe I pushed you too hard.." is what he had to say.

I owned a lot of clothes. He bitched at me when I first moved here and said "You were supposed to DOWNSIZE Marie! I just had surgery, my grandpa has a bad hip and this is too much shit!" and so I got rid of my stuff. "I never wanted you to get rid of your stuff, I know you love clothes and stuff" or whatever he said to me post breakup. Are you kidding me?! "I have so much anxiety Marie! I'm a minimalist! This is too much!"

We never went out and kept the love alive. We'd go out to dinner and I'd mostly pay and I guess to him that was emasculating? "I hate that you always have to pay. How do you think that makes me feel as a partner that can't pay for dinner for his wife??" "It's okay I don't mind paying." "I know you don't." We went out I could probably count on my fingers the times.. Cause "it hurts to drive long distances Marie. I never feel good. I don't have the spoons, Marie. My legs hurt when I drive too long. I have anxiety." 

"Why not get help for your anxiety?" "I don't like the way the medication makes me feel!!! Stop asking me. It pisses me off."

Turns out he had "emergency" anti-anxiety meds for a program at his job. No anxiety meds for Chicago, though.

"I'd take a bullet for you, but not go to Chicago. I'd go to PEORIA, but NOT Chicago." For internalized racism reasons as I learned. I get it, black people are sooOoOoOoOOoo scary. They're rare where we live. It's so fucking WHITE in this town! I was told I was going to get TRAFFICKED if I walked by myself at night time. Cause "You're rare, you're Puerto Rican. You'd go for a lot of money. Hahaha." What partner says that? Oh yeah, him. I hope he never gets into another relationship. For the sake of the girl. Try to understand, this was a once in a lifetime event. I won a spot in Kesha's listening party in Chicago. I sobbed I cried I choked on my own spit begging him to go with him. He has NO experience in Chicago so he says "well according to x who lives there, depending on the area, it's BAD. Chicago's BAD." I understood that the timing sucked, the event was on Mother's Day. Y'know, a holiday I don't believe should be a big deal if you truly love your mother every day should be Mother's Day. Also Kesha was there. I got to meet her. A photo with her. I was able to talk to her. I wanted to find out if her PO Box was still available but he rushed me to leave "Marie my blood sugar is super low I'm gonna throw up we HAVE to leave I HAVE TO EAT. Marie come on. Get the LYFT. I don't feel good." at the end of the trip, after the deep dish pizza and the nice hotel, he suggested we take time off to visit Chicago again.. to see more things.. Mind you we argued prior about even going in the first place..?  

I have him blocked, but I archived our messenger messages. That includes all the voice clips. I don't know why that was his go to. He also has a smart phone with voice to text, but as I said, he used voice messages to intimidate me. It'd be 5 minutes at a time of just voice clips that could've been a text. "It's just faster than typing, sometimes it hurts to type." I'm disabled, too.. I get it.. but he merely did it so he could raise his voice and have a shitty tone with me. All. the time. If I were a truly evil person those voice clips would see the public. I'm only a little evil with telling my story here. I guess.

I mentioned the tone issue several times and had to eventually give up cause "I talk to everyone the way I talk to you. My mom, my sister, my friends." but I never witnessed that. His mother, yes. Not his friends, though. He'd say to me anytime I'd get upset, "I'm quite literally tone deaf, Marie." "Well you don't talk to your patrons the way you talk to me??" He had to tell me that he comes home to unwind, cause he puts up that fake customer service personality. Where was the good boyfriend personality? He told me anytime that I was acting distant he was quietly sobbing in the bedroom alone. He was so worried about me and our relationship.. But proceeded to do nothing about it. I was merely his property. Someone to demean and control. He couldn't though. I'm no ones property. Sorry! 

In June we adopted Gold. She's forever a kitten at heart. Callie hated her, as expected with a new animal in the house. Callie was hostile. Isaac said he was going to give up and we'd have to return Gold cause it wasn't working out. He sobbed on Facebook asking for reassurance and then bitched at me saying how I wasn't reassuring him. Sir, you got that on Facebook. You're standing here yelling at me about the cats not getting along. Why would I want to respond to that? I was sobbing on the floor with Gold rubbing all over me. But it was my fault I wasn't comforting the man yelling at me. Meanwhile another mutual of ours prior to all this had also adopted a new cat and the original cat was doing the same shit. Everything he'd say in confidence to me, but never the people he spoke shit about by the way.  "I got you this cat to make YOU happy. I mean yeah I wanted another cat, too.." 

For my birthday all I asked for was an Icee. "I forgot."  He came home with flowers and candy, but i was coming to greet him at the door and he yelled at me "DON'T LOOK. STOP. LEAVE." to surprise me with what he got. Which I would get but that's how he usually "spoke" to me. 

"Despite my short comings, I do pretty good right?!" with candy, a ghost plushie, and flowers. "I'll get you an Icee tomorrow." It was 2 days later.  Which sounds petty but when that's all you ask for and get told "Oh I forgot." as if I'm not known for being the Icee Queen of the last 20 years of my online presence. 

"I don't want to be perceived as a bad person." The simple solution is to be a good person? He would say "your mom is nice, but she's not kind." He was also indirectly describing himself anytime he said that. 

There were a few times when he'd be in a bad mood and completely shut down, refusing to talk to me. He'd isolate, but I was never allowed to do that. Cause as he said before, word for word "you need to learn how to cope." 

"You say I need therapy but what about you!?" 

"Didn't you tell me you were doing behavioral stuff for BPD??"

Just turned back to me "but you need therapy, too, Marie!!"

It's weird to remember him saying we'd need couples therapy before we ever got married. Was he foreshadowing things? Was he actually aware of the problems? Or was it just me? I had the problems, there was nothing wrong with him. 

I rarely argued back at this man. There was one moment I was having issues with my ebay account and bank being linked together. As he's going off on me about how the bank does this weird shit all while opening my mail and reading me what was in it. I think that was the only time I snapped at him. I said "DON'T. OPEN. MY MAIL." and it stuck to him.. but not permanently. He opened mail addressed to me from my aunt. Gifts. I was in the other room and he's opening and spoiling the surprise. And then telling me "we can't use these bed sheets with the pillow topper. We'll have to donate them." Any gifts I got that are no longer in my possession was not up to me. I barely had any say in what we did as a couple.

"Our parents are gonna move to Florida and we'll get the house! But (his brother) will still be living in the basement." I wasn't okay with that. "We don't have much of a choice Marie. We can't afford that house on our own. He'd be splitting rent with us." I didn't want another person living in the basement if we were a married couple.. y'know, I'd like whatever imaginary privacy together. "He keeps to himself we won't even know he's there half the time." It was a "too bad" situation that I had no say. 

I want my own house. "With peace and love, good luck getting a house with the housing market." Going to prove him wrong while he still lives in his parents basement. "I'm gonna save up and get a studio apartment." 

"You can keep the promise ring. Cause I will always love you." I'm unsure what to do with it, as I still have it in my possession. "We'll always be best friends." I don't want to be best friends with an abuser. Emotional abuse is still abuse. It's fucked with my brain. I was mistreated so much by friends and family. I didn't deserve any of this.  "I fucked up. You deserved better." Is the truest shit he's ever said to me. I doubt he ever loved me. He just loved the idea of having someone put up with him. He knew he was unbearable. Blame it on his ADHD or whatever. I don't have the full story, but I do remember his ex girlfriend saying he was abusive, too. I only knew of what he'd tell me.  And that she hated me haha. I didn't push or question it, but now I've lived it. Almost 5 years of a "trial run" relationship. "You've never been in an actual relationship, so congrats. This was the trial run! This is what it's like to live with someone!"  

Then there was my doctors appointment. The stress had my A1C at a 6.6. My doctor said she could see the light fade from my eyes. I told Isaac what was said. He was just quiet about it. He knew he was the problem. He just had nothing to say. And the stress was the main factor. My A1C now is 6.2 5 months post breakup. So uh. Yeah. Plus probably from cutting out the amount of rice as this man only knew how to make rice dishes. 

Speaking of dishes, I'd try and learn recipes. I'd make meals and I'd offer him some food to sample. I wanted to grow as a cook as I'm just a beginner and he always makes meals. Most of the time he refused and would say "I can't force myself to eat something I don't want, Marie. I'll throw up. I will literally throw it up." Instead of anything normal like just trying a bite or saying "no thanks I'm not hungry." It had to be "If I'm not hungry for it I will get sick!" He was.. overdramatic a good chunk of our relationship. I remember being in Florida while we were still long distance, I mentioned Dominoes cause the store was closed and I was ordering food. He mentioned him having an eating disorder when I said he needed to try my favorite thing from there, the garlic parm bites. It was a voice clip as you'd expect over messenger. That "I can't eat something I don't want, I will puke it up. I have an eating disorder." I don't know how true that is. Him having an ED. A lot of the time I just got quiet and gave up. There was no point in talking to him when he would shut down like this.

The final straw was me falling in love with someone else. I wanted to attempt polyamory but "those lips are mine. And that pussy is mine." He also gave up once he realized I fell for someone else. I even told him the day I was questioning my feelings and he thanked me for being honest. But then he questioned if I cheated on him during that time. I'm sure his friends and family got a different story. His dad says polyamory is cheating. His mom scolded him for getting into a relationship with someone whos polyamorous. No fault of mine, he knew this before we got together. I was in a poly with my ex overseas and a girl of 3 months. More toxicity there! I just love red flags!

So there I am. Just vibing in a field of red flags. Cause they're just so charming. And I'm a fool. But I'll get better. I just don't know how long that'll take me. He is still haunting me in my dreams. I never want to see him or his family again. 

[endlessnightlock]

143 please

"Are you trying to turn me on, or are you really just that oblivious?"

Thanks @b-boop5

November has always been an interesting month in the Everdeen-Mellark household, otherwise known as the beginning of the flu season, but when you're reckless enough to produce three kids under the age of five, annual destruction of their immune systems comes with the territory. 

Three kids under five is a lot. But listen, before you ask, I can't help it that Peeta walking around shirtless or smiling at me from our bed once the kids are down for the night is all it takes for him to impregnate me. No matter what Prim tries to tell me about birth control. Our life is chaotic, but we love it. Just not the whole getting sick part.

We're finally at the tail end of whatever demon-possessed Jack, Kaya, and Grace's intestines for the last week and a half. The sleepless nights, endless rounds of diaper changes, and toilet scrubbing has caught up with me. I am fully aware I have greasy hair, and after spending the last two days marinating in these sweats have morphed into the human equivalent of the inside of Grace's diaper bag---you know that baby wipes, sour milk, sticky snacks stuck to the plastic smell? I'm just too tired to care about any of it yet.

"Hey babe," Peeta kisses my cheek when he gets home from work, and I can't help grimacing as he does, thinking about how horrible I look and feel. I kind of hate letting him see me this way. I stopped working after baby number two and always have this nagging thought in the back of my mind that I'm letting myself go. Not that I think Peeta has a wandering eye or doesn't love me, it's just that I feel like looks-wise, he has the upper hand on me most of the time. It's unfair how men get better looking every year while I feel like I'm falling apart. 

When Peeta pats my butt, I nudge him away with a roll of my eyes. "You don't need to dole out pity attention," I mutter, irritated about everything, mostly because I need a shower and an hour to nap. 

Peeta follows me into the living room. "What are you talking about?" he asks, sounding confused, sitting on the armrest of the recliner as I turn my back to him and bend over to pick up the lego bricks Jack left strewn across the floor before he and Kyla went up to play Candyland in the playroom.

"I know I'm gross right now, okay?" I tell Peeta, bending every way I can at the waist like I'm in the middle of a solo game of Twister. If I'm not careful cleaning up, Grace will come along and stuff the tiny pieces in her mouth when she gets up from her nap.

Peeta makes this low noise that has me twisting my head enough to peer around my thigh at him. I would turn around and straighten up instead of sticking my ass in the air while we talk, but it's easier to keep this awkward position until I've picked everything up off the floor. 

Peeta is shaking his head at me in disbelief.

"What?" I ask impatiently, ready to resume lego duty and be done with it.

"Are you trying to turn me on, or are you really just that oblivious?" Peeta asks.

"Yeah, right," I snort, "I'm sure I'm really sexy here, Peeta." I peek at him again, smirking, but the hungry look on his face gives me pause. The naked desire in his gaze kind of makes my mouth go dry, and my face burn. 

How does this gorgeous asshole do this to me every time?

"I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but every time I look at you bent over with your ass in the air that way I picture you naked," Peeta admits quietly.

Oh, fuck me. 

Did I remember to take my birth control pill this morning? I wonder as I straighten up at the sound of Jack and Kyla racing down the stairs to see their father. Standing in front of most of my family, watching Peeta turn his focus on our babies, I have to smile. 

Maybe one more kid wouldn’t be so bad either way.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

*gasps gently* Yiga Scribe is back? 🥺 If you're taking requests, that parenting one made me think of a hilarious scenario: Kohga and Sooga trying to fuck for the first time after the babies are born, only to be interrupted over and over by fussy babies? 😂

We LOVE parents trying their best- lets do it???

"I miss my orgy days."

"I JUST closed my eyes."

Kohga groaned as Sooga just finished putting the little ones to bed. Sooga didn't mind being their primary caretaker, not at all, but damn was it exhausting work. Kohga made a motion with his hands as he expanded on his thoughts, and Sooga admired the way the sleeves of his robe moved in tandum with his hands.

"I'm just saying! It was nice. Loads of drinking, got to meet new people. You can't do that shit with kids."

Sooga rubbed his arm with his shoulder, ignoring the many scars he felt on his hands.

"Do you...do you no longer want our children?"

"Oh my god Sooga, taking this from zero to a hundred- no, I like our kids. We made them and they're our designated freeloaders. I just kinda hate how much time they take away from us. Like we haven't fucked since they've been here! Sooga I could PERISH!"

Normally Sooga was more hesitant in his actions. But not only did he have kids with this man, but Kohga was clearly in distress. He rolled from his side of the bed, till he loomed over Kohga. He looked so pretty in his night attire, almost...helpless under him. But he knew he was the one truly at his whimsy.

"That can be remedied."

Kohga looked surprised, before he chuckled, wrapping his arms around Sooga's neck.

"Sooga, look at you, making moves. I like it."

"You deserve boldness. Occasionally."

Kohga's chuckle against his ear as he kissed his neck was heaven sent. He was about to dip his hand past the robe of his, before he heard the all too familiar whine of an infant. Kohga groaned, letting go of Sooga.

"Go on, go check on 'em."

Sooga sighed as he got up, and went to the other room. Of course it was Kohga Jr. He was usually a quiet thing, but when he was alone, he was just a fusspot. Sooga helped him lay back down, and gently patted his back till there was silence. He made sure there was no one else awake, before he made his way back to the room, where Kohga still laid.

"Kohga Jr?"

"He gets lonely at night, can you fault him?"

"If it's keeping me from getting dicked down, then yes. C'mere."

Sooga tried not to chuckle as he obeyed, immediately resuming his kisses. From his lips, to his chest, to that big, beautiful tummy of his.

"Easy, no need to fret. I take my responsibilities seriously. Every one of them."

Kohga let his fingers run down his hair, clearly appreciating his sentiment.

"And just HOW are you going to handle this responsibility?"

"You really want me to say it?"

"What? You've got a sexy voice. Give."

Sooga rolled his eyes, before indulging him, meeting his eyes as he kissed down his stomach. Did saying such crude things make him nervous? Oh absolutely, he was on the brink of a heart attack. But Kohga needed it, and that mattered more than anything.

"Alright, you know I can't refuse a command. What I was thinking, was letting you touch yourself while I eat your ass. You missed me doing that, yes?"

Kohga was already palming his cock, all from his voice. What an honor.

"I did, I did~...you're a good boy, you know exactly how I like it."

"I do. I know how to get you ready for my cock. It's been too long since I've been inside of you."

Sooga, with a touch as delicate as a feather, opened his robe. After digging his fingers into his ass, enough to make him arch his back, he was about to let his tongue have it's fun, when that all too familiar sound interrupted them. Kohga growled in frustration, punching his head board with enough anger to make him jump.

"I swear on Ganon's fiery fucking balls-"

"Easy, easy. Just one moment, please. Just touch yourself till I get back."

He kissed his lips, before excusing himself again. Kohga Jr. This time, he was upset that his stuffed toy fell on the floor, and they both knew he couldn't sleep without it. Sooga chuckled, and picked it up for him, before slowly coaxing him back to bed. Silence. Sooga sighed as he walked back in, only to smile once Kohga met his eyes as he touched himself, cock semi hard in his hand.

"You done?"

"Yes, yes. Now, where was I?"

"You were about to eat my ass, like how I deserve."

"Ah, right. How could I forget?"

Sooga crawled back into bed, holding Kohga's frame as he finally let his tongue graze against his asshole. Kohga sighed in relief, body tensing up just right.

"Fuck. I forgot just how good you are. No wonder I let you knock me up-!"

Sooga loved him. Loved how he tasted, love how warm he was, love how he seemed to writhe under him. He was doing such a good job, he was making Kohga's cock leak in precum. He pulled away for a moment, letting his tongue slowly graze up his length, stopping only as he lapped what remained at the tip.

"I can prove just how good I am, Master Kohga."

"Then fucking do it, be my good Soogy Woogy~"

He hadn't heard those two words in what felt like forever, and that sent a SHIVER down his spine. He hurried to yank down his lower clothes, when, yet again, there were crying. Kohga groaned into his hands as Sooga got up once more. This time, ALL of them were awake, looking at their father helplessly. He reluctantly scooped them all up, and watched as Kohga's face fell upon seeing them.

"They're up."

"No fucking shit. Ugh, bring 'em in, I'll get the story books."

Sooga put the children in bed, before stopping Kohga, just HATING how disappointed he was.

"We'll have Mipha babysit them tomorrow, just for an hour. I'll make it up, I promise."

Kohga pouted, arms folded over his chest.

"Fine. IF you use the paddle. I deserve it."

"Yes, yes you do. Now come on, they like your shadow puppets better than mine."

"It's cuz you suck ass. Literally."

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends — part 9

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a person of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 

Series masterlist

“ It's not fancy, isn't it?” Sofia asked going through her suitcase in the middle of the bed, hoping to find something to wear.

“ Nah, it's casual. Like a get-together—” Chris answered her thought the phone, they were Facetiming as they both get ready.

“Alright, what about… this and this?” She said holding up a red mini skirt with a red crop top. “I feel like matching.”

“Love it, red suits you. “ Chris answered and Sofía wiggle on the bed and began undressing, not caring for modesty as Chris looked at her.

“Enjoying the show? creep. “ She laughed as Chris rubbed her beard watching her get undressed, she wasn't being sexy or anything close, Chris just find her fucking hot all the time.

“Sure, don't mind me.” Chris answered her smiling. “want me to pick you up?”

“No honey, it's okay. I'll Uber the rest so you can't have to drive back and forth.’

‘I really don't mind, Sof.’

‘I know, but you know how I am with getting ready. I don't want you running late and shit. It's fine, you go ahead and I'll text you when I'm there.”

‘You sure?”

‘Yes, dumbass. You go ahead I'll text you. “ She said kissing the screen making Chris laugh.

“Alright, I'll be going then. call me. “

They hung up and Chris go ahead and grabbed his things and went ahead to his friend's birthday.

And Sofia took her time and arrived forty-five minutes later cause she can.

Chris was already waiting for her outside, having a sly smoke and playing with his phone on the side of the building, high-end building on LA.

Sofia called him out and shake her head when she saw the cigarette on his hand and Chris put it out.

“Sorry, I know you hate it. “

“It's bad for you. “

“I know—You're pretty,” Chris observed her, she was wearing what she shows him earlier, looked much better on her, red was definitely her color.

“Do I? I feel a little silly. I nervous—I don't know.” She nervously laughed shrugging as Chris pulled her in for a quick kiss. “I don't know anyone.”

“Neither do I, really. I know some of them.” Chris told her and she hummed. “I'm a little anxious.”

Sofia smiled and kissed him again, he wrapped his arms around her waist and fight the urge to grab her ass.

“We should go in.” He said letting her go and she agreed, rearranging her skirt and walked in with Chris.

The party wasn't what she was expecting, you know like a get together a few beers and friends hanging out but no, it was a full-blown party with a lot of people.

She didn't say anything as Chris greet people and introduced them to her, it was a little taxing but she did it anyway because it's Chris.

“Dude, so many people.”

“Yes, I thought it wasn't like this.” He looked at her with an apologetic look.

“It's fine, you do your thing and I'll mingle with that bar over there.” She told him with a smile and almost pushed him towards his friends.

“You sure?”

“Yes, go.” Sofía pushed him again and Chris leans over and plants a quick kiss on the top of her head.

“You're the best, it will be just for a little bit. I'll be back.” He kissed her again and disappear on the crowd and she looked forward to the bar, maybe getting a little bit tipsy will loosen her up but the crowd here was way different to what she and Mandy hung out back at home.

She felt pretentious wearing matching top and skirt, she couldn't imagine what she would feel wearing a thousand-dollar dress like the bunch of girls over there.

She grabbed a beer and isolated herself to a corner, where she could observe the party—witch was absolutely cool with her, what she wasn't expecting was seeing Chris's ex-girlfriend chatting with some girls and pointing out exactly where he was.

“Oh boy.” She mumbles drinking her beer and looked at her walk through until she reached him and he acted amicable with her, hugs and cheeks being kissed.

At that moment she decided to get fucked up and dance if he was going to be with his ex might as well she find something to do at this stupid party. Sofia quickly drank her beer and head back to the bar to do a few shots, clearly catching the attention of a few guys hovering over there.

“Hey,” One of them says, he had a kind smile and was attractive enough.

“Hi.” She said back, smiling too.

They chatted for a bit, his name was Tom, he's a publicist and single.

“You came here with someone?” Tom asked as she sips her drink, the second one.

“Mm-hm, with my friend.” She vaguely said, not wanting to hint that it was Chris.

“Oh, do I know her?” He asked, trying to find out who and assumed it was a girl.

“It's a he and probably you do.” Sofía quickly answers and without thinking looked back at where he was before and his back was facing her while he talked to his ex's ear. Sofia couldn't help but sigh deeply and drank the rest of the drink. “Can I have another one?” She flagged the bartender and he quickly began making her another.

“You work on the industry?” He asked taking a sip of his own drink and Sofia realized that he really didn't like this dude anymore, she didn't want to talk about work of the industry.

“Not really—”

“You should, you've got this young Salma Hayek thing going on.” He said moving his hands and Sofia raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, we're both Latinas.”

“Really? where you from?”

“Yeap, Argentina,” Sofía answered back and quickly looked back at Chris and he kept talking with his ex, now drinks in hand and he had that pink on his cheeks and moving his hands.

man, am I jealous? She thought for a second but quickly shake her head and looked at Tom, trying to find out if she could possibly, at least, make out.

But he was a little off-putting and Sofia started thinking that he was recruiting or some shit—witch she wasn't interested at all. Leave that to the talented people, she wasn't that.

“—You know, I could introduce you to our manager. We're looking for someone with your profile, there's a lot of new—”

“I'm going to stop you there because I've got no interest in having a manager or working on the industry.” She said that with a mocking tone. “I'm good at my normal job.”

Tom actually scoffed at her then shake his head, “Then what are you doing at a party like this? are you an escort?”

Sofia was the one to scoff now and give Chris another look, and his ex had her arm around his waist they were going to make out anytime soon. Now she really wanted to get the fuck out of here.

“I came with a friend, whatever. Bye,” She waves him off and turned her back at him, not bothering to see if he walked away or not.

She pulled her phone and furiously text Mandy.

Christofer, it's all cozy with his fucking ex and people here are treating me like I am a fucking escort.

“I'm a fucking idiot.” She mutters to herself after she press sends, totally regretting that because she knows how she exaggerates things.

Baby, leave that party. Go to the hotel and we'll talk.

Sofia stare at the screen and decided that Mandy's idea wasn't bad, at all. She wasn't going to wait around as Chris fuck the girl—and she did felt bad like it wasn't enough for him. She looked one more time and indeed, they were absolutely making out.

“Yeah, fuck this.”

~~

“I can't do this anymore,” Chris push her away and shake his head."I came here with someone, I can't be doing this. She's important to me,"

She scoffed, "Yet, you are here making out with me. Why then? " She asked and tried to resume the kissing.

"No, I can't—I shouldn't be here," He turned around and drank the rest of his beer praying that Sofia didn't see that.

Of course, she wasn't picking up, Chris began to panic actual panic as he quickly typed.

Where are you? can't find you.

Sof, are you okay?

Please call me.

Sofía was walking as she looked at the screen and scoffed, the hotel wasn't that far and she feels like walking trying to clear off her mind. For a moment there she had those awful flashbacks with Tiffany, she used to do the same shit, worst of all she allowed it. She knew that this was nothing, that they weren't absolutely nothing besides friends but if this is how he was gonna behave as friends.

"I'm walking to the hotel," She spoke softly at the phone, it was Mandy.

"What happened?" She asked and Sofia told her the whole thing. "Well fuck, he's calling me,"

"Yeah I should probably let him know that I'm heading to the hotel before he called the police," Sofia said softly and sighed. "Tiffany used to pull this shit—

"He's not Tifanny, "

"Yeah, I'll talk to you back at the hotel. I'm going to text him and buy booze." Sofia said and tell their goodbyes and hung up.

Chris was calling again and Sofia picked up.

"I'm fine, I'm going to the hotel."

"Jesus Christ, Sofia. I was freaking out,"

"Yeah, sure," She laughs bitterly. "Whatever, I'm going to sleep. I'll text your assistant the details for the contract and photoshoot. You still wanna do that?, or I call the whole thing off? no pressure."

"You saw, don't you?"

"Whole fucking party saw that kiss, dude." She said softly, "It's okay, but I don't wanna be in the middle of nothing. I thought you had figured it out and moved on,"

"I did fuck. I'm sorry Sof—"

"Did you? you were just fucking kissing her."

"It took me by surprised, I told her I was with you that—come on, can we talk about it?"

"We are,"

"In-person, Sof."

"I'm tired Chris, I'm kinda drunk and I'm about to enter the hotel lobby." She said softly. "Are you in for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," Chris answered defeated. "I'm sorry Sofia."

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." She hung up.

~~

He fucked up.

Thanks everyone! ❤️

Tag list:

@letsdothemonstermash

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

[minyoonkeeks]

PHOTOGRAPHER TAEHYUNG X CLIENT READER

Smut 1.7K words

Exhibitionism, unsafe sex (wrap it up kiddos), masterbation, oral (f), creampie

AN: This is a drabble gift for someone I know. It was weird writing knowing who it was for but hell everyone needs a little Tae fucking in their life (:

_______________

It wasn't like you to be like this. Walking into the parlor, you see red velvet walls lined with old photos. It was your first time doing anything out of the ordinary, and just wanting to feel sexy for the first time in a long time.

You had brought black lace panties and a bralette because you knew the photographer, a well known boudoir, artist named Kim Taehyung, prefered something delicate. 

"Don't worry about anything, I'll make sure to take care of you Ms._____." He sounded promising over the phone. 

And here you were, in sweats getting your hair done by a lady named Adora who kept telling you how beautiful you look. You looked at the mirror, not seeing what she was saying, but thanking her anyway.

"He'll be in shortly. Don't worry. He's really professional." She winks at you, putting you a little at ease.

You sit on the edge of the couch, waiting. It feels like forever until you hear the light tapping at the door.

"Mrs.____?" He comes in, unaware of your outfit or how you fidget around looking down. "I'm Taehyung, you can call me Tae for short. And what is this?" He looks right at you, boring holes into your soul. You're too dumbfounded to respond.

"So, here's the deal Mrs._____. I'll turn around, and when you're ready, we'll begin."

He winks at you and suddenly the air changes. It wasn't like you to have a man have such an effect, but the way Kim Taehyung's eyes undressed you as you sat there made it all worthwhile. You slowly removed your sweats, leaving you feeling the cold air against your body.

"I'm ready." You said hesitantly as you looked up for approval.

"Perfect" 

He looked at you, different from last time. It felt more intense, if that was even possible. His commands were slow, his voice filled with subtle nuances of lust and you wanted to follow every one of his requests.

"That's beautiful, place you hands on your breasts Mona Lisa. Just as if someone were to caress you" a soft moan escaping your lips at his instructions.

"Look at me darling, tell me what you want with your eyes" he said focusing his lens on you. You were sure it had been given away that you wanted much more than photos when you looked at him.

Standing up you placed your hands where he instructed. To your neck, trailing down to your chest, and slowly between your thighs. Eyes lustful, you looked at him and saw his stance change. He sounded deeper, as he repeatedly called you beautiful.

"That's right, just like that," his whispers becoming louder, stronger, against the stiffened air.

"Last one gorgeous and we're done". 

He places his camera down and bows to you for a second before walking away quickly. You feel uncomfortable. Had you done something wrong?

"Oh Mrs._____ don't mind me just picking up after him. Sometimes he needs to leave in a hurry," Adora mentions, as if to try and make sense of his sudden  departure.

You're told 3 days to return for your proofs. Excitement comes as the day draws near. You didn't get a chance to see anything since your photographer couldn't bear to stay in the same room with you. It was uncomfortable knowing you had to go back, but still, the first time feeling the exhilaration of being sensual was worth it.

You walk in, Adora seems to be missing, but you hear a faint sound of music coming from an office down the hall.

As you're walking, the music starts becoming louder, completely sexual in nature. You walk in and see Mr.Kim in a robe, chest open to his muscles, no sign of anything else underneath. 

"Hi, Mr.Kim? I'm here for my photos?" A quick glance and his mouth is partially open at you.

You walk in hesitantly and he takes you hand, smooth large fingers caressing your palm as you're brought in to the dark room. 

"Ms._____, please, call me Tae. I have them here" he sounds like sex, everything oozing off of him just just pure carnal lust. Your thighs rub against each other for friction, attempting to relieve pressure. He doesn't falter, even if he might have noticed.

Red ambiance surrounds you as he lifts a photo to hang on the curtain. A silhouette of your body forms as the lace comes into focus. 

"Gorgeous," you mention, slightly above a whisper.

"Yes, you definitely are" he holds your waist, the pressure from his fingers eliciting a moan.

You turn and stare at him, wondering who will make the first move. He places his hand at the back of your neck and brings you close, licking from the bottom of your neck to your earlobe and lightly biting it. It sends shivers down to your core, your arousal beginning to pool on your panties.

"Mmm, don't think I didn't notice Ms._____. It's clear you'd like something else of my services, and I'd be more than happy to oblige."

His hand trails your stomach, lines your hips and slowly reaches for your mound. You're certain he can feel how wet you are from arousal at his request. His soft lips slowly making their way to yours, licking his once before kissing you. He was warm, hot, and his touch burned your lips, but you only craved more. His other hand reaching around your waist, he begins to lower your leggings.

"Still wearing lace I see. Is that for me?"

"I thought I'd look presentable if we needed retakes"

"Yes Mona Lisa, definitely"

He takes your hand,lacing his within yours, and opens the door to another room.

Purple fills the walls and lavender takes over your senses as you walk in. He's slowly trailing behind you, holding onto your waist, pressing his hard cock on your back. Turning, you slowly take off your shirt and drop it next to you. Biting your lip you make your way to the bed and lay down.

"Perfect, ready for me?" He smirks and pulls a camera out, taking one photo at a time.

"Touch yourself for me Mona Lisa. Show me how you'd like me to touch you" he sounds authoritative, but in the most sensual way. You slowly caress yourself, taking time prodding your bralette and the nipples underneath. Small moans emit from your lips as you trail down to your mound, flashes from the camera as Taehyung takes him time photographing you. You take off your leggings, leaving you in your whote lace panties. You place them to the side, rubbing your slicked juices up and down your slit. Circling your core you moan out Taehyung's name.

"That's right beautiful, it's me touching you. Making you feel this way. It's me rubbing your clit and making your juices flow. Cum for me."

Your rubbing becomes more intense, placing a finger in your cunt to add simulation. You'd hate to disappoint him.

"Tae, I'm cumming. I'm cumming thinking of you" you moan out. He's walking towards you as your hips are lifting off the bed and forces your legs open. His head lowers as he licks between your folds and through your panties, holding you down from the overstimulation he's giving you. It only takes a moment and you're hurdling to another orgasm.

"Oh Mona Lisa, you taste divine" He removes your juices with his fingers and sucks on them, whimpering at the taste of you.

Your heart is pounding, moans coming out of your mouth louder than ever. He's moving your panties to the side and you feel something along your cunt. As you open your eyes you his his dick, thick and long, pressing against your slit. 

"Do it" is the only thing you say and he thrusts to the hilt into you. He staggers for a second, gaining his strength back, trying not to come too soon. Grunts are heard through the walls, "So tight, so perfect, I'm going to ruin you"

He moans as he pulls out and pushes back in with more force, moans coming from you now. His pace is quick and agile, hitting all the spots you've never felt before. Pulling down your bralette, he sucks on your nipples, making you grab his hair. "Fuck me Tae, ruin me, make me cum".

He yanks on your hair, and embraces you in a kiss. Sloppy and needy, his tongue darts in and out of you as his pace becomes more brutal.

He lets go of your hair and pulls out, the void unimaginable and you're grabbing onto him thinking he'll leave. He grins and turns you over. You see quick flashes of the camera  making you moan from the excitement. Never has sex been so public for you and you felt the waves of arousal hit your core hard, making you a sloppy mess. Tae places his cock at the entrance of your sweet pussy and pushes forward, bringing your face down into the sheets. He takes his hand and rubs your clit as he resumes his brutal force. 

"Darling, I'm marking you mine tonight. You'll never have another like me" he grunts, biting down into your shoulder, your neck, your back. He leaves a trail of hickeys as he's fucking you from behind, the ocasional slap to your ass making the arousal come at full force.

"Mr.Kim, I need to cum, cum with me." Your groaning is the ecstasy he wants to hear. His thrusts getting sloppier by the second. You feel your end is coming and move your hand towards his on your clit and begin abusing it.

He moves his hands quickly as you're coming undone on his cock, flashes appearing everywhere, not certain if it's your orgasm or the camera, but you didn't care.

He pulls out slowly as his own end comes and places his cock on your back lathering it across your ass. As your pussy is clenching, your combined juices are spilling out, flashes coming once more.

It only takes a few seconds and you feel a shift on the bed, it's now empty one less person. You're too fucked out to realize, but Taehyung is cleaning your back, delicately, as if to ebb the pain away and leave only bliss. He lays down next to you, kissing your back slowly and you sigh into the sheets, bliss entering in form of sleep.

[bestwishes86]

A snippet from "The Audition" leave comments and critiques

Best of Me : Book One – Moon

Chapter One – The Audition

    One Thousand is the number of head shots and resumes the thirty two year old director and her best friend and sister Luna had looked through for two days while drinking glasses of wine and smoking countless cigarettes. Together the pair had consumed nine bottles of something French before culling that number down to two hundred. Luna, the natural beauty with skin the color of green tea with too much milk in it had done the real leg work. Her fingers were numb from all the typing and retyping of all the names and seeing who had been used in prior work. Who had made 'experimental films' and who had nudes anywhere on the internet. Over dinner the pair had cackled like hens as they watched the films and decided whose penis was the best and whose was the worst.

    Any name they found was instantly rejected and the head shot and resume thrown into the shredder. Valentina longed for the day when these celebrity wannabes wised up enough to know.

    “Why give it away for free if someone will pay for it,”

    Barring those had swiftly brought the candidates list down. But then she was left with two hundred men who she had to pair with the two leading men of the Lakorn film movement, She looked at Luna, the milk tea goddess was dressed in one of her muscle bound husbands shirts which fit her like a dress two sizes too large. Her long thin legs draped across the arm of the brown leather couch while she was on the phone with the hotel they would use for the venue. The shirt, a white with black stripes button down complimented her skin and long, dyed ruby red hair which fell around her half halo face in waves.

    Valentina had born as a boy whose name was Kerrin. Kerrin had once been an actor in her early days in the business. She had been born a male, with a femininity that made her stand out from her all boy's school classmates. It had been this that caused them to tease her and hate her. But there was no denying that as a boy she had been sexy. Large doe eyes, high cheek bones, a small button nose and natural light skin the bravest boys would try and share her time. They would secretly be nice to her. It had confused her then because those same boys had been the ones to spit on her or call her names. Her sister Luna had suggested she try acting, since she could lie to their loving and caring parents about her time in school to the point they believed her. Why not? And she did.

    Soon her face as Kerrin was one many knew. The soap opera he starred in took off. Money came easy enough then. But she hated every second of it. Smiling for the camera, seeing that stranger's face where her's should be. It had been her wish back then to die. But instead she did the next best thing. She paid an obscene amount of money to a doctor who cut away any trace of Kerrin. It was painful the numerous surgeries, the days of bed rest, the rehabilitation. But what had hurt the worst was when she had gone to see her parents and they had hit and cursed her. Only Luna had defended her and called the man who at that time was named Perth who kicked in the door and beat her father while she lay on her side. Bleeding from where her father's foot had stomped on her head. This was the 2000's and plastic surgery wasn't what it is now, the damage done had called for another round of surgeries and this time Perth had paid for those. But two years later Valentina was born from the boy who never had been in love.

    “Val did you fall sleep with your eyes open again,” Luna's soft concern snapped her out of her revelry.

    “No just remembering Kerrin, sorry what were you saying,” Valentina asked looking at the empty bottle of wine and wondering if it was too late in the evening for food. Beauty came at a cost and for her it was the freedom to eat whenever she wanted. Standing at six foot without heels, her body was taut from hours in the gym daily, her breasts small and perky and her ass the shape of a healthy apple. She wanted to keep everything in the right place and the right shape.

    “Bond is coming tomorrow is that ok,” Luna asked again and Valentina nodded while internally cringing. Luna went back to the phone conversation while Valentina rose from the couch she had been sitting on and walked to the window like wall of glass that framed the loft apartment on one side. Her simple white dress flowed around her as if she were Sailor Moon which was secretly her spirit animal. Her hip length golden blond hair was styled in a similar manner and her eyes were reshaped to look Japanese instead Thai. She reached to the small end table made of glass and metal by her personal couch and picked up her rose gold Iphone and dialed the long password to the phone. Her work phone lay in her work bag, her personal phone was one that only two people had the numbers for. Luna and Titan. They were her friends and the only people she considered family. She tapped Titan's name long changed from Perth and put the phone to her ear as she watched the rain fall down on the city twenty stories below her.

    “Hello Beautiful, how was day drinking.” a deep yet soft voice teased her and she felt her eyebrows come together.

    “Terrible without my husband, how was your day? Bed any new costars or is it pop singers this year?” Valentina cooed back. The two had known each other since they were little boys, and he had been the only one besides Luna happy to meet Valentina.

    “A Gentlemen doesn't kiss and tell,” Titan said back without skipping a beat.

    “I'm sorry I must have the wrong number, I thought I was calling Titan the man who couldn't keep his pants up if they were sewn to his skin. Not a Gentleman, I will let you go then,” Valentina said and was surprised by her own tone of voice. The mere mention of the name Bond did this too her.

    “Whoa whoa who has got my wife in this state, I will break his legs,” Titan said with amusement but a serious undertone.

    “If only you had when you had the chance,' Valentina said and pressed her forehead to the glass.

    “What has Bond done now...?” Titan asked knowing instantly who she was thinking of.

    “Nothing yet, But you know Bond. He insists on attending the auditions tomorrow. Probably to scare away your future costar.”Valentina said calmer now that the cool glass was touching her skin. Maybe she had drunk too much on an near empty stomach.

    “I will be there.” Titan said and Valentina felt a smile cross her face. When they had been children Perth had always come to her aid. No matter how many boys had her cornered Perth would fight for her. Somethings never changed, even if she had.

    “No you won't you have costume fitting at the same time as the auditions,” Valentina reminded him as she moved back from the glass and switched over to speaker phone.

    “My measurements haven't changed in ten years. I will be there to keep Bond out of your hair like a good man should. Speaking of, have you been on any dates lately,” Titan asked the open air and Luna snorted sitting up at the sound of that question.

    “Excuse me...!?” Valentina asked shocked at the question.

    “Well neither of us are getting any younger my love and I worry that you're intentionally warding off men with your moods,” Titan explained and Valentina wanted to drop her phone and step on it. Perth had never cared if Kerrin had liked men or women, and made a point to find every boy in the school who preferred steak to chicken and bring them round. None met what he called Kerrin's standards when in all honesty each time it had hurt. Because all Kerrin had wanted was Perth. Now Valentina was nearing that time in her life where honesty and lies were almost the same thing. And still all she wanted was Titan.

    “Twenty years later and I still want to throttle you,” Valentina said through gritted teeth.

    “But you love me too much to do it, I know. But maybe you should share that love with someone who deserves it.” Titan said and there was no joking in his tone.

    “Is this because my birthday is coming up, the one we aren't celebrating,” Valentina asked feeling a rising sense of fear at the mention of it. Titan had always gone out of his way to make her birthday special. And it unnerved her the level of care and effort he put into them. Each year it gave her hope that he would kiss her and she knew that was a silly fantasy.

    “You only turn twenty nine 3 times, we agreed this year you become thirty. How can I not use some of the money I made starring in your shows to shower you with unwanted attention from people you believe hate you,” Titan sing songed and Luna giggled and Valentina shot her a death glare.

    “Fine Fine, I become Thirty and you and Luna get to see my youth wither and dry, is thirty too soon for menopause?”Valentina asked and all three laughed openly and all thoughts of Bond were forgotten.  

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Valentina is inspired by the Thai transwoman - Blossum and Titan is inspired by Earth P