#i hate everyone hereeeee

[decladams]

having the worst day of my life (not really but it sucks shit)

[hotgirlmeg]

idk why i talk about wanting to go to work to make friends when those girls don't even talk to me. okay i'm done now fr.

[haneys]

words cannot describe how much I hate the hurdle of trying to travel by train and also the dread I am feeling right now genuelly autistic meltdown I am going to kill someone and then myself

[under--pluto]

you ever accidentally call emergency services and then have a near panic attack about it or are you normal

[leth-writes]

If you have time could I request the wolf pack x reader who gets really drunk and just starts rambling about how much they love there bf but like in embarrassing level of detail that the other pack members definitely didn't need to hear

Have a good day❤️

To set the scene, you’re at a bonfire, the rest of the pack around you. It’s hard to judge how much you’re drinking when everyone around you has super metabolisms and towers above you; you’ve had way too much to drink and you’ve passed that warm, comfortably drunk stage into loopy and constantly laughing.

You’re bubbly and flopping down on the lap of your boyfriend, arms wrapping around his neck like a vice and trying to yank him down to kiss you. Yet, he refuses; to you, it’s a rejection, but he’s just worried about you. Also, smashing foreheads doesn’t sound very pleasant. Entranced by the way the firelight flickers over his handsome features, you feel an urge to tell him how much you love him, maybe in a vain attempt to get him to finally lean down and kiss you.

“I love youuuuu so much, I wish I could be with you all the timeeeeee. Even when you’re a wolf, I’ll just climb on your back and hang on like a little spidermonkey… Why don’t you wanna kiss me? I just wanna make out, pleaseeeee I can’t go without you anymore, why won’t you kiss me? I love your face, please come hereeeee…”

Sam

Groans, though he always loves hearing the confirmation of your feelings. Sam is naturally reserved and so the two of you aren’t huge on PDA, but this is basically affirming how crazy you are for him. Secretly loves having you on his lap, slurring your words as you confess your deepest feelings and thoughts toward him. Everyone else hates learning so much about the private life of their pack leader, and they all cover their ears or boo at you, trying to get you to stop talking.

Paul

Doesn’t give you much time to confess your love, he’s already spilling his guts back. Everyone hates how sappy you two are, it’s almost as bad as the constant PDA and making out, you on his lap, or the various times people have walked in on you two. The pack is happy for you, but they’d like to be happy for you from farther away. Please stop.

Jacob

Smirks. He knew you cared about him, but face it, Jacob loves having his ego inflated. Having such an attractive person, his partner nonetheless, sitting on his lap and pouring their heart out really confirms his deepest wishes; now he knows you care about him just as deeply as he cares about you. The nature of imprinting naturally creates a power imbalance, so having you just confirm how you feel really makes him happy. The others can feel him gloating already, and probably throw hot dog buns at his head. Sam tells him to take you home.

Embry

Beams from ear to ear. He loves hearing how you feel about him. He knows he isn’t the biggest or loudest personality in the pack; sometimes he worries that you wish you were with one of the taller, hotter members of the pack. Hearing your innermost feelings about him helps wash away those insecurities. The rest of the pack is just happy he isn’t feeling so insecure, so they don’t even mind hearing your entire train of thought.

Quil

Gets a little flustered; while Quil loves a playful flirting session, he usually keeps it light and fluffy. Having you tell him how amazing you think he is, detailing everything you admire about him, not all of it even physical, really hits that soft emotional core he buries in humor. The others find it sappy; Paul fake-vomits.

Seth

SO FLUSTERED. Oh my god how could you say this to such an innocent soul. He may be 19 but he’s been treated like the baby of the pack for years, he isn’t used to being talked to like the way you’re talking to him. Especially considering you, sensing his innocence, tend to keep your conversations on the lighter side. Hearing every thought you have about him, including the physical parts of him you find attractive, really gets him blushing. The others tease him for being so innocent.

[tastesousweet]

⭒ the girl with the tattoo (ii) - pt 1 here!!

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : matt is still a grumpy ass but y/n can't seem to get him off of her mind.

warnings : idk uhhh matt’s rude but in a love hate kinda way 😋! also alcohol/drinking (i headcannon everyone 21+!)

mickey speaks : shes finally hereeeee and shes kinda long. im hoping to post more consistently!! luv u guys enjoy <3 ignore the fact that the pic above has a yt girl in it this story is for everyone i promise !!!! i just liked the little green vibe ok? ok.

THIS IS PART TWO GO READ PART ONE FIRST DUH!!!!

AND of course you see matt again.

only a month ago, you were introduced and forced to spend an hour of your time in close proximity to him, no matter his disinterest. yet, also, only a month ago, were you gifted with the cutest tiny tattoo that continues to surprise you a little whenever you lift your shirt before a warm shower.

it hasn’t bothered you nearly as much as you'd assumed - only disrupting your life with the caution you now take to avoid irritating the skin at your lower stomach. though some nights you grow lazy, you’ve maintained a very disciplined attitude of incorporating time in your morning and nightly rituals to ensure the tiny hello kitty inked on you is properly cared for.

contrary, your interactions with matt bothered you far more than you assumed. your sub-concious must've held onto your attempts to break past his careless attitude (that greatly opposed your own people-pleasing nature) just to pettily haunt you. but you've you forced yourself to get over it at this point. you just had to after one night, the week following your tattoo appointment (and after a long day of rude professors and pretentious customers blaming you for their own mistakes), you broke down to andrea:

you sniffle before your voice breaks again, "everyone's just mean. and- and i was so fucking annoying last saturday. it keeps playing over in my head. i'm so embarrassed and i just know he hated me, but i dont know why?! i thought i was nice enough. he could've just smiled or maybe just- i-"

andrea pauses from petting your head, "honey, you're not still talking about the guy who tatted you, right?" you look up at her from your head's soft spot in her lap with glossy eyes and a quivering lip.

"dre-" you choke.

"oh my god! no! y/n, you can't take shit like that personal. not everyone enjoys talking or happiness for that matter, you can't hold on to something like that. i promise he's not too hung up on it himself." she wipes away one of your pitiful tears.

and here he is, standing across the room from you at a party.

you definitely did not expect to see matt (who’s mild attitude was clearly fueled by socializing) in this scene but you guess that la parties are just like that. as long as you know someone who knows someone you’re easily in, that's how you tend to get into these events at least. though an insta stalk would tell you matt has enough clout to get himself in, he and his brothers have built quite the brand for themselves among la socialites.

once your eyes spot him over the shoulder of some guy who just introduced himself to you, they can’t seem to move. you watch as matt smiles for a photo with a few others. matt. smiles. okay, so maybe it was a you problem. he doesn’t hate everyone maybe just you.

though, your thoughts are denied as quickly as his face drops. he doesn’t even care to look at how the image may have turned out like the rest of the group. instead, his eyes opt to watching the people around him as he sips his weak drink.

great, now you’ve become the weirdo watching him watch other people.

until his eyes catch your cautious yet curious stare from across the room. your cheeks heat and you’re immediately shifting your eyes back to the man in front of you.

matt almost smirks at his luck. no fucking way the scared sweetheart he’d tattooed just a few weeks ago is here. he looks away when someone lays a hand on his shoulder to bring him back into the conversation. you're surprised that he continues to look back over to you after adding his input.

the guy finally acknowledges your disengagement with the story about his new motorcycle and turns to see what exactly you’re staring at. he sees matt and turns back to you, “you know him?”

“yeah. well not like know-know we only met once, he gave me a tattoo.”

“oh, cool,” he looks back over to matt and turns back to you once again, “is he bothering you?”

your face scrunches initially, “no, it’s fine.” you smile at him, not wanting to give him the impression that matt did anything but exist (which apparently is enough to capture your attention).

“good. wanna go grab another drink and tell me more about this tattoo?” a charming smile morphs on face and you nod your head easily, taking his hand and leading him towards the bar outside of this large home. and away from matt.

“two-” you look over to the man beside you, “wait is this an open bar?” you ask him genuinely and he laughs a little at your aloofness.

“yeah,” he nods.

“perfect, we’ll take two kamikaze shots pretty please!” you smile at the bartender who seems to be enjoying her night quite a bit and squeeze his hand when you realize it’s still in your own. he looks down at your attached hands then back to you.

you turn your body to face him more directly and lean up to his ear, cupping your hand and whispering, “i’m so sorry, i think i forgot your name.” you were starting to feel bad and just had to confess.

you lean back and bite your lip to hide an awkward smile, and he somehow smiles harder than he already was, “it’s-”

“ashton!” you hear a voice yell hurriedly and now some dark haired guy is pulling him away from you and repeatedly saying “code red!” in his face. and suddenly, without any indication he’d enjoyed your short lived time together, he’s gone.

you try not to sulk but he was an attractive guy with easy conversation, so you at least hoped to get his number by the end of the night.

instead, you’re left leaning against the bar hoping those shots come around soon. you decide to update your friends on your night:

Y/N

cute guy lefttttt :(

REMI

noooooo he was so cute 😫

Y/N

don’t remind me

ANDREA

where r you now???

Y/N

outside bar, im waiting on shots

Y/N

come find me💔💔

your head shoots up from your phone when three guys practically ram themselves into the bar near you, a few people around them laughing obnoxiously.

"god damnit, chris! we said we were going slowly!"

"shhhh. you are so loud, matt!"

“excuse me, can we get some water? none of the sparkles or bubbles and shit, just water, please.”

“next time i'm speaking for myself! what if i wanted the bubbles?”

you lean your head a little to get a full view of the three recognizable faces. chris, with his arms dangled over his two brothers’ shoulders clearly obliterated and slurring his words (but excited to be there nonetheless). a blonde one, you haven’t gotten the chance to meet yet, with two nose piercings and a commanding voice. and matt, with his signature pout, even poutier now that chris’ weight is causing him to hunch over slightly. you guess you were bound to run into them.

you wonder if andrea was right in saying matt hadn’t held onto your exchange. you wonder if when he saw you earlier he remembered you for your friendly smile rather than your annoying nagging. or did he even remember you at all? did he only look at you because you were staring him down first? okay, where the fuck are those shots?!

“no way!" you hear chris’ voice screech upon recognizing you from across the bar, "y/n!?”

you look over and see him shockingly excited to see your face again. you smile in an attempt to not allow your nerves about matt get to you. you are never one to deny a conversation after all.

“oh my god! hi!” you reply as chris unwraps himself from his brothers and moves closer to you.

“how’s your tat treatin’ you?” his eyes express so much excitement he reminds you of a little kid. you’re very flattered to see someone feel so much emotion due to your mere presence.

“oh, it’s still so cute, no regrets so far. i love it.” you smile and he nods while you’re speaking.

he turns around and sees his brothers and a few friends remaining in the other side of the bar talking amongst themselves. “yo, get the fuck over here! why are you guys so far?” he encourages them with a hand wave.

you wave as well, trying not to be a total stranger- even if you are.

the blonde guy leads them over and hands chris a glass of water that must’ve been waiting on him.

“cheers,” chris smirks and takes a sip before a disgusted look takes over his face, “gross. my god! why do they make this shit so bland?”

the blonde boy rolls his eyes in amusement, mumbling, "just drink it," before approaching you kindly. "hey, i’m nick by the way."

“y/n, nice to meet you! i met chris and matt when i got my tattoo done at your shop a while ago.” you explain kindly.

before nick can get another word in a female voice is squealing, “you’re y/n?! hi, i’m asha, i don't know if your remember but we talked on the phone that one time!” a tanned girl with soft cheeks and dark loose curls moves herself in front of the boys.

“of course i remember, how could i forget that insane frog story? it's so nice seeing you in person finally!” you gush.

suddenly chris is beaming, “aww wait guys this is so cute! i’m feeling like we should all hug!” he nods to his brothers who are quick to shake their heads no.

“i don’t think..” nick starts.

“nooo! let’s hug!” chris argues and opens his arms wide gesturing for everyone to hug him.

౨ৎ

after sharing a very drunk and messy group hug you all continue to talk until chris finally blurts, "i gotta go pee so bad guys, " he laughs, "but i need people with me because if i walk in on someone puking, then what? i'll die from my severe" (its not severe at all) "emetophobia and no one will ever know?"

you and asha (who you've found is actually so similar to you) both laugh at his crisis.

matt just breathes a laugh.

"chris, there’s no reason to go further with the fear factor when no one said they wouldn't come with you. i’m coming, so you're not gonna die, let's go." nick shakes his head.

“you don’t understand, nick i would be dead and covered in- i can’t even say it, dude,” chris’ voice fades as they walk away.

"wait, i'll walk with you guys inside! 'm... getting cold out here!" asha suddenly says removing herself from your side and waving goodbye with a drunk smile.

"it's not cold at all, she's trippin'" matt speaks watching her run and practically jump onto nick, causing the three laugh while leaving the crowded yard.

you just shrug and lean onto the bar again, making eye contact with the bartender who looks as if she only just remembered your existence but also seems to mentally question where the other guy went and how you managed to replace him that quickly.

"are you always so nice about everything?" matt questions, leaning his forearms on the bar, still looking at you.

"what?" you look over to him now, feeling almost sick at his proximity.

he mocks you with a high tone in his voice, "'it's soooo nice to meet you! it's soooo nice seeing you!' it sounds exhausting, to be honest."

"didn't realize having manners got you jail time," you breathe.

"and i never said it did."

"well, i don't have to be nice to you if it bothers you so much," you shrug.

"aw, sunshine, you'd do that for me? you're too sweet." he almost laughs at his own sarcastic comment.

you lick your bottom lip out of habit, "why are you still here? don't you have friends you should be ignoring?" you hope he can't tell just how frustrated he's making you.

“you must think you know me.”

“i know you don’t like me.”

“wrong, again.” he smiles and points his finger at you.

“oh, you just don’t like anyone then?”

he glances away before responding, “what's the fun in telling you?”

you huff in defeat, wanting nothing more than those shots right now. though your subconcious hopes the bartender continues to prioritize her flirting customers over you just so you can continue this addicting back and forth with matt.

"you know, that’s the thing with people like you. you think everyone owes you everything." he shakes his head.

"people like me?” you scoff under your breath, “matt, why are you still here?"

he can pick out the offense in your tone, "oh shit, that was true? i was fucking with you, sunny!"

"you don't know anything about me," you laugh and shake your head.

"alright there are those kamikaze shots for you! so sorry about that major delay, honey!" the bartender sets the shots in front of the both of you and smiles at you apologetically.

"don't worry about it, thank you!" you hand her a spare five dollar bill from your back pocket.

when she's gone you finally notice matt's widened eyes.

"what's up with your face, now?"

"you gave her a tip for pouring you some rankydank, fuckin' low level shots after you've waited long enough for her to apologize?" he seems genuinely shocked.

"she only makes money off of tips," you roll your eyes, picking the shot up and gesturing towards the second shot for him to take.

"that's all you," he raises his hands towards his chest.

"oh my god, do it, matt."

he shakes his head and points to you, "you take your shot, sweetheart."

"i knew you wouldn't, pussy," you say under your breath before smirking as you down the alcohol you've been craving since you first saw his face.

upon your insult matt is immediately taking the shot along side you. and just as both of your faces adjust to the taste, matt's phone begins to vibrate.

he grabs it and you attempt to hide your own curiosity by asking the bartender for a lime to suck on (not daring to ask for alcohol again because you simply don't want to be hung up at this bar for any longer).

"yeah, yeah still here," matt plays with his bottom lip and looks down at you with your mouth full of lime. he thinks you look pretty adorable, especially under the blush pink fairy lights hanging above the bar. "'kay, i'll be quick. alright, nick. i will. bye."

he puts his phone away and wipes his mouth, "that shit was fucking vile, by the way."

"okay, drama queen."

"mhm," his face falters back into his usual pout, "well i gotta go, but, um, nick wanted me to invite you to this get together thing we host at the warehouse, it's in like a month but, you know, come if you want." he shrugs.

"tell him of course i will, but only because he asked." you smile sarcastically.

౨ৎ

ANDREA - 12:39 AM

y/n where are you we are both so confused rn help

ANDREA - 12:45 AM

hellooo????

ANDREA - 12:47 AM

GIRL WE'RE OUTSIDE AND WE DONT SEE YOU TF

Y/N - 1:06 AM

WHERE ARE U GUYS RN I JSUT SAW TATTOO GUY AGASSN IM LOSUNG MY MIND JUST A LUTTLE BIT

Y/N - 1:06 AM

I WAS AT THE OTHER OITSIDE BAR IN THE FRONT(?) YARD!!!!! but its ok im gonba find u guys

౨ৎ

a few days later matt comes across your instagram story, forgetting he had followed you in the first place. it was a picture of you and your friends from the same night he had seen you again. it's a simple mirror photo where you're all smiling but besides your soft skin and cute outfit, matt's attention focuses on frank ocean's pyramids playing over the story.

you see the notification later that day when you finally get time on your phone:

matthew.sturniolo liked your story

꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆🎱˚

[thedvilsinthedetails]

rosekiller band au microfic pt4

heyyy guys pt4 is hereeeee

ok so this one is a bit shorter bc I’m a bit tired today but I rlly wanted to write it anyway so I did lol but it’s not been edited like at all so there may be typos pls point them out if u spot them so I can fix them tyyyy

yayyyyy I love this one

Ok ppl who wanted to be tagged/wanted the next part: @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @picklerab23 @nikholascrow @always-reading @weirdtinkerbellversion @lady-stardust-incarnate @depressedtheatrekiddo @y0url0verb0y @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @lulublack90 (as always pls lmk if u want to be added to the taglist/don’t want to be tagged x)

link to part one

link to prev part

(EDIT: link to next part)

***

Barty’s stomach flipped as Evan looked at him, stunned and stunning. Then the moment was broken and Evan turned his head to look at Dorcas who seemed to be fighting back a laugh. This was stupid fuck this was stupid.

“Did you know about this?”

Evan asked Dorcas who shook her head.

“First time I’ve heard about it.”

Stupid, STUPID. You’re so stupid Barty why would you go and say that. You should have said no when Marls suggested it, should have said no straight away.

“It’s um- to make a statement. Kiss on the stage to piss of Riddle but it’s fine you don’t have to-“

“It’s a good idea.”

Evan said quickly.

“Oh, yeah it was Marls’. Wouldn’t want to um…steal the credit.”

Wouldn’t want you to think that the idea of kissing you plays on repeat in my mind every second I’m awake. 

“Yeah. I um- I want to. I think it would be good-“

Brilliant actually it would be fucking brilliant Rosier.

Barty amended Evan’s statement.

“To make a big statement.”

“Yeah.”

Yeah. Yeah what other reason would there be Barty? What were you hoping for? Pathetic isn’t it. The way you would gladly lick the crumbs left on his plate if he asked you to. He doesn’t want to kiss you, he wants to piss of homophobes. Don’t forget that.

It was in fact too late for Barty to not forget that because all that was ringing in his ears was ‘I want to. I want to.’ Because honestly Barty was going to kiss Evan. Maybe for the only time ever in his life. But he was going to. He’d never even thought it a possibility before. 

•••

I figured out that this modern world is turning the wrong way round

There’s something about the way our bedsheets turn religion upside down

So we just have sex to solve all our problems

Let’s do it again

It had been Pandora’s idea for the kiss to happen during ‘cotton candy’ and everyone had immediately agreed. It was a stroke of genius really. Barty had originally thought it should take place in a love song, but that wasn’t what this kiss was about. This kiss was about the freedom, the liberation everyone deserved to be who they were, to test their limits and experiment and not be judged for being queer or straight or promiscuous or prudish. Cotton candy was just that. A call for sexual liberation, a call to stop demonising young people for living their lives.

And I wanna get stuck between your teeth like cotton candy

So you remember me darlin’

Barty turned his head to look at Evan. Their microphones were too far apart on separate sides of the stage, everyone hated it. He felt uncomfortable so far from Evan, they just performed better when they were up close together. The crowd had actually been pretty annoyed when they saw it at first. Still when he looked he saw Evan staring back at him. He cocked his head sideways, a silent, last minute ‘are you ready?’ Evan nodded. 

Im losing myself in you 

In you 

In you

In you 

In you

I know

Evan stopped playing the guitar and let it just hang around his neck as he took the microphone out of the stand. Barty watched him before taking his own mic out the stand too.

I’m losing myself in you

In you 

In you

In you 

In you

I know

They turned to face each other and Barty began to walk.

Leave me in the morning, although

I don’t wanna be on my own

They met somewhere in the middle of the stage and suddenly the scream of the crowd dulled and the music stopped and for a moment there was nothing except Evan. Evan Evan Evan. His eyes staring straight into Barty’s. The hushed sound of their soft harmonies. The warmth of his breath dusting Barty’s face as they pressed their foreheads together.

I’m losing myself in you

In you

In you 

In you 

In you 

I know.

And they kissed. The crowd screamed. And suddenly the world was filled with colour even though Barty had his eyes screwed shut. Kissing Evan was like…fuck Barty was no wordsmith, Regulus and Pandora wrote their songs. But kissing Evan was everything. He tasted sweet and minty like the gum he’d chewed right before the show. His hand was warm and calloused and currently threaded through the hair at the base of Barty’s neck, tilting his head up just so.

The instrumental was over, they’d missed their cue. Barty didn’t care. They kept on kissing till the song faded to a close and even then kept going till the clap of the crowd died down. They softly broke away but Barty couldn’t hide the grin that broke onto his face. Evan just grinned right back.

***

AHHH YAY OK I LOVE THIS SONG CAN I JUST START BY SAYING THAT

Watch the music video for this song (cotton candy by YUNGBLUD)

LOOK AT THE SKIRT HE WEARS AND TELL ME BARTY WOULDNT WEAR THAT

Also what do we thinkkkkk they finally kissed!!!!!!

Ayyyyyy

ok stay tuned for the FIFTH and FINAL part (probs gonna be released tmrw hehe)

Also I’m probably gonna put this on ao3 btw, not gonna change it bc I don’t have the patience to properly lengthen it (at least rn, ig u never rlly know) but it’s just like if ppl want to bookmark it or reread or whatever it’ll probs be easier

ANYWAY LMK WHAT U THOUGHT

😘BYEEEEE

[stephaniebrownslover]

Guys I have an idea.

What if I made Jeff The Killer like BoJack Horseman???

Guys don't leave please guysssssss it's so dark hereeeee

Okay now that I think about it, I'll ramble about this a bit.

Either I'm on to something or on something.

Also BH characters as creepypasta characters random BoJack Horseman dialogues as Jeff under the line and how other pastas would react.

And the only Jeff portrait I like is @jeffthekillerzblog 's Jeff because he's like a real life :3

THEIR FIRST TWO LETTER IS SAME THEY'RE THE SAME

...

GUYSSSSSSS TOBY AS TODD JUST IMAGINE

Lol just kidding but I think Toby and Todd would actually get along. Like they would just chill around and build random shit and talk about nonsense stuff. Their silly goofy traits are kinda similar so they would understand each other most of the time. Great minds think alike.

Okay okay let's talk about Jeff Horseman stuff before drifting away the topic.

First of, I think BoJack Horseman is not a character do defend. Yes, he tries to fix his mistakes but it was too late for him. He needed to change before all the shit happened. He needed to go to rehab or therapy before.

I'm not saying it's all his fault but just look at Diane. She had her own trauma and even though she was feeling bad most of the time, she wanted to get better. She worked for it in time instead of BoJack.

Yes, BoJack is a traumatized character but Todd was right about "You can't keep doing shitty thing and then feel bad about it!" because BoJack did this always.

Now back to Jeff. He has a similar trait with BoJack. I think Jeff has BPD most likely and he has serious anger issues. That's not a good mix as you can guess. It causes him to make mistakes and hurt people he actually gives a shit about and even though this makes him feel bad later, he won't do anything about it.

He wants to change, he wants to apologize from Jane and Nina and Liu. He wants to be a better person. He hates this life he build but he's been in this hell so long that he doesn't know a way out. He thinks it's too late for him and for treatment after all the people he killed and hurt.

Just like BoJack but in a different way.

BoJack hurts people close to him mentally and Jeff hurts people close to him both mentally and physically.

They both doesn't want to live their life and they would rather be like anyone else does.

They would hate each other if they met because they would see the other as a mirror. Or something like they could be in an another universe. And this would scare them as hell.

Jeff might be a surface character but I think that's because of his creator portrays him. I have like/hate relationship with him because of how badly he portrayed in almost every work.

He was not a pure evil monster, he was a 13 year old kid with untreated mental issues and body trauma. And no one was there to teach him this was not right since this motherfucker is very stubborn and he killed everyone who could.

Both of them doesn't want to die no matter how shitty their life can became. They want to live. They want to see the next day even though they would hate it. They think they deserve to live after all the things they had gone through.

They want to believe that they have a chance for redemption without caring about their past mistakes.

Also if Jeff would be an animal, he thinks he would be a wolf but he'd actually be a horse. That's like his spirit animal.

Take random BoJack dialogues as Jeff and other pastas' reactions to that.

...

Jeff: Rehab was supposed to be a fresh start. But no matter how many starts I get, there's always the same ending. Everything falls apart, and I end up alone.

Clockwork: Then get a new life man, this shit is not that hard.

Jeff: Shut up bitch! I'm having a moment here!

...

Jeff: Same thing that always happens. You didn't know me. Then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.

Nina: Eat shit and die asshole. You ruined my life.

Jeff: Fucking let me apologize whore!

Nina: Okay. I'm gonna kill this bastard. Don't hold me!

Kate: No one's holding you.

Nina: I said don't hold me!

...

Jeff: I'm the one who has suffered the most because of the actions of Jeffrey Woods.

Jane: What about Liu or Nina or even me?

Jeff: Nah, Liu's fine and he hates you.

Liu: No, I don't.

Jeff: He doesn't know what he's saying. And Nina loooves me.

Nina: No I don't!

Jeff: She's high on my awesomeness.

Jane: Shup the fuck up you dumbass.

...

Jeff: There's gonna be plenty of people around when I kill myself!

Masky: Not me.

Hoodie: Nah, I'll be there to celebrate.

Jeff: I hate all of you.

...

Jeff: Really makes you think, though, huh? Life, right? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die.

Toby: W-who the hell are you?

Jeff: Yeah, you're right.

Toby: I am?

Jeff: Nah.

Toby: Of cour-se I am.

Who wants part 2 for incorrect quotes??

[buggyandthebartoclub]

Shachi x Reader - Explicit Content

ITS HEREEEEE Sorry everyone I suck at banners and dividers I hope this is okay? If you hate it lemme know so I don't use it again lol I needed some Shachi thigh riding in my life and it delved into some cock sliding too oops! 🥵💕 Content Warnings: Implied afab reader (no direct mention of reader genitals or pronouns, one mention of breasts), briefly mentioned drinking in the beginning, semi-public sex, thigh riding, cock sliding, and overall desperate in love Shachi!!! My Beloved!!!! Fic Summary: You and Shachi have a few drinks with the crew after shift change and proceed to get handsier and handsier with each other until you're barely making it to your room! Rated: Explicit Word Count: 810

You’d both had some drinks with everyone after shift change and had already been getting handsier and handsier with each other as the night went on.

It started with Shachi undoing the top half of his suit a few drinks in and tying it around his waist, leaving his sculpted and tattooed arms on display in his tank top right there next to you, already getting a little flustered, your face would only burn brighter as he threw one of those arms around your shoulder and pulled you close you’d try to hide in your drink, try to get drunk off the liquor instead of Shachi’s laugh.

But then you would be starting to get into your drinks and your hand would be on his thigh, and he’d be blushing and whispering in your ear about how much he missed you that day and how cute you look wrapped up in him while giving you little tickles, your hand sliding up his thigh, his lips brushing against your ear when you giggle,

“Ahh, you’re so cute y/n- chan, I love seeing you get all blushy and giggly for me~”

then his lips would press softly against your neck and make you gasp-

And then you’d be just as surprised as Shachi when Penguin elbows the shit out of him from the other side , both of you having forgotten about the rest of the crew so wrapped up in each other.

You’d be sheepish and embarrassed at having gotten so intimate in public and hide in Shachi’s chest, butterflies in your stomach from the dopey smile on his face as he snapped back at Penguin for being jealous before leading you out towards your rooms, hands intertwined and pulses racing

But neither of you would make it very far before finding your hands and lips all over each other.

You’d have him back against the wall, hat falling to the ground unnoticed by your mutual urgency. The overwhelming heat radiating from his body fanning your desire as you kissed up his neck, relishing in the shivers that run down his body when you wind your hand in his soft curls, kissing him desperately as he groans and squeezes your ass before pulling you up by your thighs, sliding you up his leg and nipping at your ear. Your arousal pooling between your legs, Shachi’s breath hot on your neck as he started to babble,

“God, y/n, you don’t know what you do to me, you’re so beautiful like this, let me give you anything you want, please”

You’d find yourself nodding along to anything he said, unable to stop yourself from bucking your hips, grinding along his strong thigh and melting under his touch as he clutches at you like you’re everything he’s ever wanted. His name on your lips as his sharp teeth graze your neck and you’re riding his thigh with abandon, chasing your high to the background of Shachi’s worship, unable to process any of the words he’d said as you shudder against him, coming with his lips against yours.

But it wouldn’t be enough, breaking the kiss and leaning your forehead against his would leave you panting and desperate for Shachi even more than before, you’d lean over and whisper in his ear

“Now let’s make it to the room and let me take care of you“

You’d pull back, arms around his shoulders as he wraps your legs further up along his waist, rushing to his room with such enthusiasm it made you laugh from the euphoria rushing through you as he carried you through the door, kicking it shut with his foot and flopping you down gently on the bed with a grin and a kiss, a few tickles tossed in to make you squirm against him before you began to tug at his tank top and demand

“Now let’s get these fucking suits off”

Neither of you would waste any time discarding the offending clothing before falling back into each other, kissing roughly as you push him onto his back and straddle him, settling your dripping arousal along the length of his cock, Shachi would let out a loud moan as he threw his head back, his hands gripping at your thighs as you used him to chase another climax, your hands trailing up your body to grab at your breasts, his babbling picking up the more you slid your delicious heat over his cock

“God, yes, just like that, just like that! Y/N!”

You’d both come just like that, sliding over his cock making a mess all over Shachi, world going white as you reached your peak, you wouldn't even notice when Shachi flips you over before he’s kissing you gently

“God you’re so perfect, stay the night with me, please?”

And of course, how could you resist?

[crimswnred]

LITG TEMPTING FATE: CASA IS HEREEEEE

okayyy!!! i spy with my little eye 3 hotties

maybe it's the best casa we ever had looks wise

and there's liam lmaooo

anyway he's rude so I'm happy he's also ugly

my MC is waiting for her one true love Jin

but I'll replay it later and stick with Jack so I can be with one of the Casa Guys

look at Kyle's legs omg

what have fusebox done to my sweet girl Emel who believed in romance and wanted Oakley to declare poetry??

this is the face of a man who's unreliable 👇

source? bro he's blonde AND has long lashes

Claudia chill I wasn't actually serious when I said I would couple up with you sorry

OMG BEA LIKES WOMEN !!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway chill I'm trying to be loyal here

first day of casa ✅ still not a cheater

ofc they would cut Bea in the middle of what she had to say...

raunchy is always so fun I love kissing boys just for the fun

yeah, I am the funniest, the most travelled and also I'm a dancer, so yeah, I'm the sexiest dancer

and why would anyone think EMEL is the wildest girl? c'mon

these are the eyes of a man who lost his soul 👇

guys never mind he's actually hilarious

what do you mean WE HAVE TO SWITCH?

I don't want to switch? I want my boyfriend back

is it just me or do you guys also want to bite Kyle? just me? ok!!

yadda yadda everyone loves me yadda yadda

Max is literally a child omg

fusebox I fucking hate you

anyway party time!!!!!

which means let me see the outfit for this week

I don't hate it but I also don't love it. the tits are great but the pants could fit better

MCs body is tea

"I had sex in all the continents" followed by this:

lmaooooooo

anyways, there are 6 continents: America, Europe, Asia, Africa, Oceania and Antarctica, I don't know why you guys pretend America is actually two continents like...

as a Brazilian, my girl Claudia would defo point that out. check your facts fusebox

KYLE TATTOED WHO????

AND WHAT DID HE TATTOO????????

jk we don't give a fuck about Gabi, Suresh and s5 mc mess MOVING ON

I just chose Max for my last turn in the game to be messy

stop judging me??

EMEL WE WERE BEST FRIENDS JUST YESTERDAY WHAT'S YOUR DEAL??????

Kyle is so nice <3

oh...

guys I may not be the loyal girl I promised I was

you can't give me a guy with that amount of tats and expect me to not let him touch my thigh ok?

... and share a bed...

... and kiss me.

OKAY OKAY I KISSED HIM ALRIGHT??

but what about it? Jin apparently was saying this girl was a proper head-turner so he can cope

he cheated emotionally, when you think about it that's even worse

and now Emel is moaning Kyle's name

great.

this volume pissed me off. let see what this mess leads me to. gotta say, they keep me entertained

[nono-uwu]

New chapter, you know what that means...

Ch 139 first impressions! Spoilers obviously

- I was hoping we'd see Krul, Crowley and co. interact a little more :<

- ok, everyone's getting bullshit powerups now lmao (at least it puts Shinoa squad at an equal footing)

- Shinoa, Mitsu, Kimi and Yoi caring for eachother and goofing off ueueueueueu they're so cutee

- sigh... more boob jokes... siiiiiiiigh...

- they all got wings! Cool :D

- Ferid's new outfit still looks kina mid imo. It's just so... boring

- hehehoohoo I'm predicitng Guren/Mahiru/Ferid vs Shinoa squad soon... I'm scared for the end result of that!

- Shinoa is so cool omg and she has control over the 'darkness' that's even more cool

- And Ferid and Guremahi for once don't have a bullshit way of bypassing a powerful abilty! (Still salty about Krul)

- ofc Ferid has to know Shinoa is there but she covered the tracks real quick. Good on you Shinoa!

- ...why would Ferid think Shinoa squad would have sinful keys??

- "We need to keep control of our fates." That's one hard line. Shinoa dropping bars in her last few appearances fr

- Vampires sure did a shit job at maintaining the status quo lmao

- Mika bad news, Shinoa has other motivations besides her crush now

- hhhhhhh back to the "everyone gets resurrected with no sacrifices whatsoever" plan. Good that Mika is aware of the likley consequences

- Roger, Ulrich, Kirsten and Lest are hereeeee (they didn't beat up Yuu. Sadge)

- "Where did the first go?" "My (ex?) friend eated him"

- Rigr looks... surprisingly alright. Maybe I just got used to the art style shift with him specifically but he gives me a lot less 'yaoi hands' vibes yk?

- Ky... you were this close to whooping Yuu's ass...

- the last page... all of those reactions are meme worthy lmaooo

- "SO ALL YOU VAMPIRES HELP ME!" "FOR THE SAKE OF WORLD PEACE! GOT IT?!" "AND BRING ME FOOD TOO!" Now I may hate Yuu but even I have to admit he has that dumbass charm (he gotta team up with Vash the stampede first that love and peace)

Overall, chapter was aight. Hope Yuu realizes that Shinoa and co. aren't necessarily against him just really worried and confused because he fucked off without telling anyone anything and Guren wasn't helping too (at least that's how I see it)

As for my insanely unrealistic hopium prediction: Shinoa squad beats Ferids and Guremahis asses and gets the still conscious vampires put of Ferid because they could be useful (<- words of a person slowly losing it)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

jjk chapter 267 spoilers under the cut !!

I AM HEREEEEE I’M LATE BUT I’M HERE. FOR THIS. FOR HER . I CRIED

i don’t have much to say abt this chapter other than!!!!!!!) i’m so hyped!!!!!!!!!!! i’m so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don’t tell akutami i said this but i was genuinely losing faith :’) BUT SHE’S BACKK MY BABY’S BACK

i’m literally so in love with these pages btw………. she has never looked this good . she has never looked so Nobara . akutami outdid himself she looks so insane and cool and pretty and pdjdkfjkdjfk .

ALSO . THE OPP THING 😭😭😭 ICB SHE ACTUALLY SAID IT I’M SO??????? they’re so funny….. she’s so petty………… i’m just so so happy to see the gang back together again :’) nobara & todo and everyone appearing right when yuji needs them most…….. you are so loved little sunshine boy!!!!!!

BUTTT nobara aside (and i don’t say that lightly!!!)…… gojo crumbs 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

I LOVEEEEE HOW YOU CAN JUST TELL. YUUTA WITH HIS PUPPY POUT GOJO WITH HIS …. look. i can’t explain that look it’s just gojo. i love how you can tell it’s them and i love how light their dynamic feels :’) GOJO’S UPSY DAISY . i miss my man…..

this chapter was sooooo good all around …. i’m obviously still super sad that jjk is ending so soon but!!!!!!! i do have faith that these final chapters will be amazing …….. it was fun seeing utahime & gramps again :3 hoping praying begging for one last little glimmer of sashisu before it all ends . let me see shoko at least visit them at the airport…., those are her little babies…… she deserves to see them……….

WAITTTTT ALSO THIS !!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

i love love loveeee this page sm and it also gives me sm hope for the ending :’) bc this has been a reoccuring theme for the entire manga since the very beginning ……… the cycle of love & hate and weakness & strength and people cursing each other………… and i love that only yuji and sukuna can end it because!!!! it started with them!!!!!!! it started with sukuna eating his weaker twin for survival and that created a standard for strength that only yuji can break by devouring sukuna in return <3 since he’s the offspring of the weaker, eaten twin….

idk it just . makes me insane!!!!! i love this manga :((( and i have a feeling i’ll love the ending. will never ever forgive akutami for robbing me of kenjaku and their potential but that’s my only real gripe… super excited for next chap <3333333 will be Extra careful not to get spoiled!!!!!! i’ll try my hardest!!!!!!!!!!!

[postcards]

everyone in my college is a fucking hindu nationalist cunt. ughhhhh i hate it hereeeee.

[alanalmeara]

Ok wow loads of thoughts

- They did kinda make it work tbh

- I still thought there wasn’t enough hype for the horn but it was fun

- Speaking of the horn uno being a hero idk?

- Also they’re gonna need to clear up mat’s story if they want people to understand but hey even in the books it’s never totally explained

- Mat making his spear was really fun

- Hopper dying was a hate crime

- Renna got what she fucking deserved

- Egwene’s stubbornness truly was in the spotlight in this episode

- Her protecting Rand against Ishamael >>>>

- Mat having what we thought was a powerful moment just for him to injure Rand

- Mat’s reaction was heartbreaking

- Renna cutting egwene’s braid was unacceptable and my last straw

- Nynaeve struggling to channel was really faithful to her character tho i kept waiting for her to blow up

- Speaking of Nynaeve she was TERRIFYING as a suldam

- Speaking of suldam they should have let moiraine use balefire on the ship as a treat she deserves it

- THEY ARE NOT EQUAL BC LAN IS HER BETTER (congrats to everyone who called it)

- Him asking for the bond back was nice but like it wasn’t broken? Wasn’t it just like muted bc it was only a shield?

- Ishamael really saw rand get out of the shield and went like welp this is it

- Also the cold open was really niceeeee

- Lanfear trying to get rid of the others but then surprise bitch

- Speaking of lanfear top notch outfits as always

- @moghedien CONGRATULATIONS

- She’s hereeeee and way creepier than i ever imagined her

- For Lanfear to be like light be with you to rand… yk it’s gonna be badddd

- I’m sure i forgot some things but yeah

[the-project-and-the-ghost]

[HEARTBURST]

.

.

.

*after a bit of time passing and having recovered fully, mewtwo decides to meet the rest of the fam*

*he finds a rather attractive human woman cooking something... Must be something new since she's kinda fucking it up not gonna lie-*

????: God- fuck- i put too much... I'll just scoop out the rest, it's okay, not a big deal...

Mewtwo: uh hello?

????: Holy- helloooooo..? Whoever you are?? Who are you aaaaand... What are you??? I don't think i've ever seen anything about you anywhere.

Mewtwo: *sigh* Arceus give me strength- you're familiar with Mew, right?

????: Y-yeah???

Mewtwo: i'm like-... ughh god i hate even speaking of it- a clone? Something superior?

*the woman's gears are turning...*

*...and suddenly the light bulb is turned on*

????: Ohhhhh mewtwoooo okay i got it-

Mewtwo: goodness i hate that name-

*he gags at the mere mention of his name and anything related to it*

Mewtwo: uhhh what's your name, human? I'd like to meet everyone here and get familiar since i'm staying.

????: I'm...

*She thinks about it for a second... what is she hiding?*

Mary: i'm Mary, Mary Lavender, you?

*mewtwo is. Confused™, by her name...*

Mewtwo: are you really named "Mary Mary Lavender"???

Mary: no i'm- fucking hell- just Mary Lavender, nothing else! Fuck-

Mewtwo: language-

[THE POST CONTINUES WITH NO POTENTIALLY HARMFUL CONTENT BUT IT'S STILL UNDER THE CUT DUE TO IT'S LARGE AMOUNTS OF LENGTH]

Mary: anyway- who are you?

*mewtwo cringes at the thought of saying his name, it really brings up terrble, terrible, just horrible, terrible, terrible... horrible memories...*

Mewtwo: ... Hmmmm...

Mary: you don't like your name, huh?

Mewtwo: ughhh... Can you tell?

Mary: oof... If i had any ideas for a new name, i'd tell you, i'm sorry...

Mewtwo: it's alright, i'm kind of getting used to it anyway... Honestly i wish i didn't.

Mary: i'm sure you'll get the one you want soon, for now we'll call you bald snrk-

Mewtwo: Arceus that's worse- i have seen hairless Meowths in my life in the wilderness so NOOOOO THANK YOU.

Mary: yeah it's confirmed, we're calling you bald-

Mewtwo: NO.

*Mary laughs a bit, then focuses back on the cooking... Now i'd say "chore" because she was suffering trying to learn new recipes, but she actually managed to pull it off, slay queen*

Mary: oh shit i did it-

*someone steps through the backyard entrance door, carrying a basket full of fruits... GOD NO THEY DON'T HAVE A FARM IN THEIR BACKYARD, IT'D BE FUCKED BEYOND REPAIR BY THEIR PETS JESUS CHRIST*

???????: Hey everyone! I got all the fruits available!

Mewtwo: oop- holy-

*oh- OHHHHHHHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOH LOOKIE HEREEEEE~!*

*a shiny gardevoir with green vitiligo has entered the stage with fruits, and lordy me would you look at that... There's a reason mewtwo fell for this chick*

Mary: oh my god Celeste these look awesome! Thank you so much for the fruits!

Adam: ah we estan rebuenos estos! (Oh wow these are so good!)

Mary: snrk- when fruits look so good you bust out full paldean-

Adam: Ey™

Celeste: And i have few that you might like to try, too!

Adam: TELL ME YOU GOT THOSE ONES, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH-

*while everyone's talking around there with each other, mewtwo over here is... OVERFLOWING with thoughts*

Mewtwo in his mind: (HOLY ARCEUS GOD HIMSELF SHE'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL WH-)

Mewtwo: goodness gracious- /////////

*Mary, Adam, and the shiny gardevoir with green vitiligo look at mewtwo in confusion... The gardevoir stares for a different reason obviously*

Adam: what? Yo Mewtwo you good??

Mewtwo: yes i'm fine, now if you excuse me i'm gonna need some time alone so i can recollect myself be right bACK- ////////

Adam: ah- wait- wait mewtwo? Mewtwo that room isn't... Finished.

*mewtwo quickly leaves and goes to the guest room...*

*Adam sighs in "WELP" and promptly gives up on life*

Adam: good thing he's a psychic type, cuz i don't think he'd like how it looks currently...

Celeste: Does anyone think that thing's hot?

Adam: say what now-

*cue the glass shattering sound effect*

*Adam quickly turns to look at Celeste with a face of surprise, what did she just say???*

[end.]

[fabioquartararhoe]

follow romanian here can I just say that I almost broke something when I realized that they were gonna make us miss parts of the race for fucking superbet ad breaks lmao. and morar just sitting there asking obvious DTS-inspired questions while the other guy tried to give actual race commentary 😭😭😭 I hate it hereeeee

everyone was complaining about the same things 🥴 it’s so bad, people will start getting f1tv. the worse part is that not everyone can afford f1tv and this will make f1 for romanians fans worse. maybe they will listen to the fans…maybe