#i hate conflict

[fayeandknight]

I've been trying to write this post all week but it's such a jumbled mess I figured I'd start over. While it is service dog related, it really more of an attempt to figure out navigating life as a disabled person in a very visible way.

I recently received a wedding invitation from my cousin for October. My sister also recently got engaged and is full force wedding planning. While I am very happy for both couples, I know whatever decision I make about cousin's wedding will be linked in my family's mind to sister's wedding.

And that decision is basically whether or not I will bring Forte in a working capacity.

The first, and most important, question is can he successfully work such an event? If his progress continues the way it has been, I do think the answer is yes. If, for any reason, I think the answer is no I won't take him.

But how do I approach possibly bringing him? Do I reach out to cousin and let them know I am planning to bringing Forte? Do I give them the option to say if they are okay with him being there? If I don't bring him I'd probably need to leave shortly after the actual wedding. At best I could maybe handle an hour of the reception before needing to leave to avoid suffering repercussions publicly.

If I do reach out to say that, how do I do so without it sounding like an ultimatum? Because I don't want it to come across as 'let me bring my dog or I'm not staying for your reception'. It's just facts, I can't handle being there that long without assistance from my SD. (As far as task training, Forte is probably about 85% fully trained. There's one or two we're still polishing up bu he does have the skills I would need.)

I can already hear my mother getting upset at the idea of my bringing him. That I would be taking attention away from the couple. That I've been to weddings before without a dog. That it's just one night. Etc. Ad nasm.

And I know this will stem from a) her feelings about my bringing an SD to my sister's future wedding and b) my family's persistent mindset of my disabilities not being truly disabling because it's not visibly obvious to them. They don't count the days after major events that I spend holed up recovering. Or my having a breakdown, or my literally fleeing in a full on flight mode panic, or whatever as my being disabled. It's just me being dramatic.

I'm already planning to not stay the full night or book a hotel room. It's only about an hour drive home. However I cannot safely (for myself and everyone else on the road) make that drive if I don't leave before things get bad. And I'm historically bad at accurately identifying/mitigating things before they get bad. That is a huge part of what Forte does for me.

So what do I do?

Part of me just wants to bring Forte (if I deem him capable of working) and not say anything. To avoid any pushback before hand by not informing people. But I fear an in the moment confrontation if I just show up with him. Plus I have a strong sense of fairness and do feel it would be unfair not to at least give the couple a heads up.

Service Dogs get a lot of attention, particularly when they are in places people don't expect to see a dog. I don't want to cause a scene by having him, or at least not take any steps to mitigate said scene.

Maybe if I approach cousin with it before hand word can be spread that someone with a service dog will be in attendance and to just ignore the dog? It won't save me from all unwanted attention but at least it won't be a complete shock to everyone?

In a lot of ways, I'm a very new handler learning how to navigate life with such a visual marker of my disabilities when previously I've flown under the radar.

Faye primarily worked for me when I wasn't in frequent contact with family and then the height of the pandemic. So I know how to handle complete strangers. But it feels different with people I know, particularly those I know but am not that close to.

Ugh.

I feel so much stress about it and I wish I could just put the whole matter to bed as quickly and cleanly as possible.

Anyway if you made it this far here's a picture of Forte from agility practice. He is in alert stand by mode because I've been needing him a lot lately due to the stress of this situation.

[hihigherdi]

Don’t ever try to lie to me when your rent is returned for insufficient funds two months in a row, and then you don’t follow up when you say you’re going to just to let me know what is up…and you have the money, you own like, 4 businesses. This is the face you’re going to get.

[felixthefelix]

⬆️ this user is a very stressed good omens fan who just wants to be excited for season two and hates all the conflict going on right now. I simply wish to be happy and look at fanart and stuff while I wait 🥹

[black-thoroughbred]

bad experience with the farrier today. long story short they weren't being the best(usually they are fine, multiple factors were at play but don't want to write a super long post rn) and he lost his temper and hit both Star and Bom and I told him to please not hit my horses and it was a whole thing and I cried which was very very embarrassing and sucked super hard.

[thekakoro]

not me regretting posting my opinions because I'm afraid people hate me for having different ones and I hate conflict but honestly I just want an open conversation and I know that's what people intend

[guiiay]

yeah... yeah

[chestpieces]

Sometimes I forget to ask, "Could this be better?"

Could I improve:

myself?

my actions?

my situation?

my relationships?

All the things I choose to bear...

Maybe if I changed the way I make tea I'd like it more, and maybe if I change shampoo my hair will be softer, and maybe if do what I like I'll be happy, and...

Life is everchanging!

Question! Re-invent!! Do you!!!

[ofstoriesandstardust]

having work conflict is all fun and games until you have to be the one to tell your supervisors when co workers fuck up because you’re the only one they trust to tell the truth to

[lizzybeeee]

When you spend 20 years attempting to bring down the child slavery, murdering, human trafficking exploitation ring that stole your childhood, murdered your friends, and killed countless innocents only to have them rebrand as 'Noble Freedom Fighters™' off-screen.

[notsochillnerd]

Girlbosses cut off friends for supporting Israel and i know that's how it should be

[bixels]

Scary Sunset.

I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.

[willthecleric]

This is EXACTLY why I don’t like getting involved with this discussion much. People can’t be civil and discuss it calmly. It always has to be insults and attacks. It’s not a fun topic to go over. I think Mike is gay, but I have no problem with him being bi in theory. I read a lot of fics where Mike is bi and I love them. I just don’t think he’s bi in canon.

Both sides of this issue can be terrible.

Let me be more specific to my earlier comment on bi Mike vs gay Mike.

It's fine to conceptualize him one way or the other. It's fine to identify with him and recognize your own experiences within his story. It's fine to want representation on screen, especially in such a hit, general audience production.

It's not fine to insult or laugh at people for their opinion. It's not fine to harass people for not agreeing with you. It's not fine to suggest that gay Mike or bi Mike would be bad representation or pandering.

I swear, I don't know if the Internet made human discourse worse, or if it just made it easier for people to turn off their everyday social filters. I mean, god damn, we can disagree without being assholes about it.

[casscainmainly]

Why Duke Thomas Should Be A Dick Grayson Hater

Dick and Duke is such an underrated and underexplored relationship. Here is my pitch for why Duke should be a Dick Grayson hater.

1. The Rooftop Thing

Reason number one and the start of Duke's grudge should be the rooftop incident in Robin War. Dick, as part of his plan or whatever, leads Duke to a roof and abandons him to the cops.

LOOK AT DICK'S SMUG FACE. Tell me you wouldn't hold a grudge too if this was the FIRST major interaction you had with him?? Duke should use this against him at any possible opportunity.

2. ACAB

From We Are Robin #2. Once Duke finds out Dick used to be a cop, it's OVER for him.

3. Jason and Damian

Duke is quite close with Jason and Damian (in my head, particularly Damian - that's his LITTLE BROTHER). Anyway, these two are obsessed with Dick. You have Jason, with his miles-long brother issues that puts Dick on a pedestal, and you have Damian, who thinks Dick is the best person on Earth who can do no wrong. They would talk Duke's ears off about him. Duke would HATE IT.

4. Robin

This panel from Night of the Monster Men sums up quite nicely the difference in the way Dick and Duke approach vigilantism. Duke is the 'idealised' Robin, whose Robin-ing isn't contingent on Batman; Dick is more or less too tied up in Bruce. I think, because the Robin identity means a lot to Duke, having the original Robin be like this would irk Duke a LOT.

5. Tom Taylor

SPOILERS FOR CURRENT NIGHTWING RUN: in Nightwing #116, Dick gets framed for murder and Babs tells him to reveal he's Nightwing to clear him of suspicion. She says Bruce suggested it, and recounts everyone who agreed:

Hm. Is someone missing here? Oh yeah: DUKE. TT probably just forgot Duke, but where's the fun in that? Instead, if Duke is a Dick Grayson hater, you have the funniest scene imaginable. Everyone gathered in the Batcave, laying down their identities for Dick, and Duke is like 'I don't give a damn. He can rot in jail.' and peaces out.

BONUS points if he does this to get back at Dick for reason number 1.

6. Parallels

Duke's origin deliberately mirrors Bruce's, but that means it mirrors Dick's as well. Duke and Dick parallels go insane: they both had loving families, lost both parents at once, were in the foster system (varyingly for Dick but for the purposes of this post I'm gonna include it), were wards/not adopted by Bruce initially, have a huge reverence for family, have a thing about heights, view Robin as separate from Batman, forged their own identities, etc.

Tell me this page doesn't slap:

Anyway Duke would HATE this too. He'd be so annoyed that the person he has the most in common with is Dick, and that would fuel his Dick Grayson haterism.

Dick, on the other hand, has no hard feelings towards Duke. Duke would be glowering at him from the corner of the room and Dick would meet his gaze and be like 'ah Duke is so cute' and smile back. This would make Duke 10000x angrier.

Anyway that's my ideal Dick and Duke dynamic, feel free to add or modify or disagree with anything!!

[gaywarcriminals]

The core of Liu Qingge and Shen Jiu’s conflict is that LQG grew up in a world that felt fair and just, that nurtured and rewarded black and white morals, and SJ grew up in a world that punished kindness and scruples, that told him that survival and morals were mutually exclusive. 

To Shen Jiu, morals are a privilege he can't afford if he wants to live, and to Liu Qingge, they're a necessity worth dying for.

[mega-angry-cloud]

Every time I think I’m out they yank me back in like a dog on a leash

[heritageposts]

if you're subscribed to the washington post, it's time to cancel your subscription

as if their coverage of the genocide in gaza wasn't bad enough, this is now the kind of vile racist shit they're apparently okay with publishing in their editorial cartoons

and if you're unfamiliar with the artist, michael ramirez, here are some of the cartoons he's made for other publications:

(putting them under a read more because there are so many of them and they're all disgustingly racist and/or islamophobic)