#i hate being dependent on people it's so scary and you can never count on them to be there

[girlivealwaysbean]

man

[demarogue]

Gettin' Through the Holidays Mental Health Tricks

If y'all are anything like me, this time of year is triggering AF. Here are some small, very easy grounding exercises that I was taught by my therapist, basically in order of how much I like them for this rage-inducing season. You make like them in a different order, depending on your rage-to-despair ratio.

Push a wall: literally go up to a wall and try to push it over. Really try. I promise you won't push it over, but give it your best shot. Try to hold it as long as you can, and then take a breather and assess whether you need to repeat. Why it works: This is a quick, physical expulsion of the fight-or-flight feeling. It's a bit like punching a wall, but without the potential to hurt yourself/look scary/damage things. You can even do it in front of people and say you're stretching, they'll never know (unless the wall actually falls down, but this will not happen, I assure you).

Shake like a dog: Animals shake to release stress, and you are also an animal. Setting aside time to just shake it out, as vigorously as you can, arms and legs, face, stick your tongue out, pretend you're shaking like a wet dog. You can dance instead, if that feels better, and you can do this to music, but basically the more unhinged you can be, the better. If you are in a place you can scream, scream too! Why it works: like the above, this is a release of pent-up stress and anxiety. Especially if your rage-to-woe ratio is high, some kind of physical exertion is often the best way to burn through the cortisol and adrenaline you're building up.

Bilateral Tapping: Cross your arms over your chest so that your fingertips are at your shoulders, and slowly tap, one hand at a time, back and forth, for about a minute. Breathe slowly. Why it works: This is weird as hell, but because this engages both sides of your brain, it helps override the activity of the amygdala, which is the part of your brain that Makes The Fear. If you're being literally triggered in a situation, i.e. you're having a trauma response, or reliving some family trauma, this is a good one.

Box Breathing: From a comfortable position (can really be seated, laying down or standing), inhale slowly for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, then repeat. You can do it for shorter counts or longer counts, but if you vary the counts make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale. You can close your eyes or leave them open. Why it works: This exercise helps you move from a sympathetic (activated) nervous system response to a parasympathetic (balanced) response. I do this one every day, and it's a good gateway to meditation. Especially helpful in anxious or tense situations, but I find if I'm very triggered I need one of the other ones first, or it can make anxiety worse. Breathwork is amazing but not usually as a first exercise if you're very activated, or have been activated a long time.

Ice: Lots of ways to do this one – hands in cold water for 30 seconds, ice pack on the back of your neck, dip your entire face into a bowl of ice water (this one's the most effective). Why it works: I kinda think this is hilarious, but this activates your mammalian dive reflex. It immediately slows your heart-rate, so if you are feeling your blood pressure and heart rate rising, this one is very good. The only reason this one's at the bottom of my list is because I hate being cold.

I wish you all a very get-through-the-holidays-without-hurting-yourself. Take time alone if you need it.

[waywardsou2]

Drunk!Logan x Drunk!Male Reader

This was supposed to be kinda smutty but it ended up being kinda sad. If you want to see part two with some actual NSFW themes then let me know in the comments, because I feel like I can go somewhere with this.

Summary: Life is shitty being a mutant, and it's even shittier when you can't save everyone. So where do you turn? The bar, to drink away the pain and forget for a few hours. Unfortunately for you, someone decided to keep you company.

Word Count: 1k+

Tags: alcohol, bar fight, suicidal ideation, self-hate, self-esteem, worthlessness trauma

It had been a rough week, the missions got difficult and sacrifices had to be made. People were lost. But its part of the job right? That shit always happens. Well tonight you just couldn’t stand it, the knowing that there were people you couldn’t save. Families who were missing loved ones, because you weren’t fast enough.

It made you sad, but it mostly made you angry. At least that’s how you presented it to the world. And that’s how you presented it to Logan, the man who had followed you to the bar. You didn’t know why. If he cared, you didn’t want his pity. If he was here for a drink why couldn’t he have gone somewhere else.

Big scary Logan, The Wolverine. What did he need to sit here and drink about, especially where you were trying to get shit faced before you had to see Charles the next day.

“Can’t you drink somewhere else?” you say to him, your words already slurred from the bottle you had almost finished emptying.

“Nope” he said flatly as he sat down on the stool next to you, ordering a round of shots for himself.

You rolled your eyes, either this guy was dense or just an asshole.

“Oh Logan is too high and mighty to go drink somewhere else because I would rather get shit faced alone than with company” you say

The bar was empty, but it didn’t really matter much, you weren’t going to keep your voice down even if there were people in here. Something about him was just rubbing you the wrong way. You didn’t know whether it was the alcohol, the pain of your supressed emotions or just the fact that Logan never bat an eye at you despite how much you tried to show him you had value to the team.

“Yeah basically”

Your anger gets the better of you at his sarcasm and you shove him, he leans away, almost spilling his drink. He downs it and turns to you

“Are we gonna have a problem, bub?”

“I don’t know, are we?” you retort

“You want to do this here? Now?”

“What to scare to make a mess? Afraid you’ll hurt me? Guess what asshole I’m-“

But he didn’t get to hear what you are because he shoved you back, standing up from his seat as he pushed you off yours and onto the ground. Your back hit the wooden floor and you hear the bartender sigh.

You watch as he walks away from the counter and into the back.

You glare up at Logan, lips peeled back in a snarl. But before you could stand up, he was grabbing you by the collar of your shirt and pulling you up from the ground. He was taller than you slightly so he could lift you off your feet.

“You think your funny with a smart mouth like that, well I got news for you, it’ll be no good for anything if you keep running it off”

You tried to shove him off of you but you couldn’t bring up enough force with your feet barely touching the ground.

“Let go of me!”

“Are going to calm down?”

“That depends, are you going to keep pushing me around?”

He dropped you and your knee buckled a little bit at suddenly having to take weight again.

“You pushed first” he muttered going to sit back down

“And I’m going to push last”

You swing at him, a sloppy, open swing, unlike your usual bullet-like punches. Before you could even make contact with Logan he spun around and pushed you to the floor again, clambering on top of you. His claws out. The outermost ones were jammed into the floor creating a fracture in the wood from the force, the middle was still retracted, barely peeking out of the gap in his skin just above your neck.

Instead of feeling fear at the threat you laugh. Like him, you had super regeneration so him stabbing you was no real threat. Not to mention you had carbon fiber steel for skin. He shoves his face in yours and growls

“What the fuck is your problem” he spits

Both of you have drunk enough, you're both rearing for a fight and the only person you have to take it out on is each other.

Logan is pissed, he doesn’t get you. You spend every mission jumping into dangerous situations and then you come to the bar every night to come back drunk. Do you have a screw loose or are you just that stupid.

Even as he looks at you with his brow furroed and his claws at your throat you continue to laugh.

“Go on then, slice me open. Maybe we’ll both feel better afterwards” you laugh again but pain stings at your eyes as tears well up.

If only you could just die, make a sacrifice worth something like everyone else. Maybe then the pain will stop, maybe then you won't spend every night pitting yourself, maybe you won't be the cause of any more loss because you just weren’t good enough.

Logan pauses, ready cut you to ribbons but your statement makes him freeze. He knows that tone, the mirth. The self-deprecation and pain in your words. He doesn’t need to be like Charles to know what’s going on in your head.

“What. Are. You. Waiting. For?”

Before Logan could answer or move you grip his wrist pulling it out of wooden floors and slam his fist into you chest.

But there are no blades, no blood and not cuts. Just the knuckles of his fist thumping into your chest. It only throbs in pain, no damage done.

“Fuck you” you say bluntly and shove him off of you, pushing him away and standing up. He’s left speechless watching as you stand up, down the rest of the bottle and one of his shots. Pull out some crumpled notes and storm off, walking out into the night.

Let me know if you want part 2 and I take request for as well so check me out @waywardwritesstuff for my request info.

(Psst you can find part 2 here)

[justsomegdude]

Pass the time.

Leader!Negan x Alexandria!Gn!Reader

summary: Negan visits alexandria for his weekly supply and decides to flirt with y/n to pass the time.

warning: Negan is a warning in himself, sexual tension!

A/N: Who knows i might make a part two to this. i wrote all of this today because i felt bad that i hadn’t posted since last month!

The weeks seem to just play on repeat when Negan comes to visit. He pesters Rick, Gets his men to get the supplies, Sometimes dealing with conflict depending on what happens in the day. As the familiar sounds of trucks come into earshot, Alexandria’s residents went silent and most went inside houses instantly, The kids rounded up by their parents and forced inside too.

You stopped caring about hiding from Negan weeks ago now, before anytime you saw his face you would remember the ones who you lost by his hands, rather by his ‘most precious lucille���s’ hands. Now? You don’t think about what you’ve lost by him, instead about what you could still lose. You’re close to Rick and his family since you’ve been in his group for years now. So you always make sure Carl and Judith aren’t in harms way.

The gates were opened by spencer, to allow Negan and his men to step foot inside. Familiar whistle ringing through your ears, you turn away to stay on the porch of the house you were gratefully allowed to stay in. If someone needed you, they’d come to find you. You watched Negans men start spreading out into a few groups going to the only places they really take from now, The pantry being the most common. Although it is rare for them to venture into the infirmary, weaponry, or houses, they’ll do it every so often.

Your eyes connected with Negans accidentally. You groan to yourself that he was most likely watching you for a minute before you noticed. Now you wish you’d just stay inside, hoping that he wouldn’t come up. Your prayer was answered and somehow, Negan didn’t come up to you. Instead he strutted over to the pantry along with Rick close but clearly at distance. Sometime you wonder how Negan took Rick by the balls and twisted him into submission.

He used to never be anything but the leader since you met him at the farm. When he was diffusing conflict, helping hershel, beth, maggie, even me. Or how he had killed Shane the night the barn was burned down.. He was always meant to be a leader, so how Negan took control of Rick, it was scary in a way.

You didn’t even realize you started day dreaming until you heard noises, loud noises, from over at the pantry. Instantly standing up to get a good view, Negan seemed to be upset at Olivia, that poor girl. A slow pace towards the pantry to see what’s happening.

“Why can’t you do your job right?” Negans voice spoke menacingly as he leaned in, more so over, Olivia to scare her. Rick was seen near Olivia trying to get Negan to calm down. “Rick, you should really consider a new manager of the food around here, clearly she doesn’t take enough responsibility!”

Your eyebrows furrowed, quickening your pace a little so you were a few feet away from Negan, and Rick. “What’s happening?” You spoke.

Negan turned on his heels towards you. “Little miss manager-of-food, over here didn’t count her supplies correctly!” He said fast, looking back at Rick, then Olivia. “You’re lucky i’m feeling generous today, or else i’d do something physical about this.” Negan seemed more frustrated rather than angry, of course he didn’t care if there was a missing can, he just hated how often people around here wouldn’t do their jobs correctly. “I’m taking an extra can for this… waste of time.” Negan snapped and his men were instantly on it and grabbed an extra can, along with the others already taken and left in a hurry towards the trucks.

You hated this little game Negan played at, his boundaries were but also weren’t set. You wanted to speak up, tell him off, but of course you knew better.

“I’ll be taking a trip to the infirmary next week. If the person who works there, messes up, someone will die.” Negan spoke firmly and with that turned on his heels and walked towards his trucks. Your eyes connect with Ricks, and then you looked at Olivia.

Rick was the next to leave towards the gate, probably the one to close it behind the saviors today. Olivia was crying, she was so sensitive you felt bad for her. “Olivia…” You said her name quietly and went over to put your hand on her shoulder. “It’s just Negan being Negan, you don’t have to cry over it..” You put on the best reassuring voice you could. Olivia nodded and wiped her tears.

“I swear i counted correctly this time..” Olivia’s voice was cracking, and soft. She meant it, and you felt bad for her.

“Hey it’s—“ you were cutoff by someone yelling your name. “Sorry Olivia gotta check on what that’s about-“ With that you left with a quick pace towards the yell, the main gate.

“Y/N!” Yelled again, now closer you knew the root of the noise. Rick. Now jobbing over towards Rick. The gate was closed and the trucks were gone, the saviors already left. “y/n.” He spoke lowly. “We got a team heading out in a few hours for a supply run nearby, i’m going with. I need you to stay with Carl and Judith for me, okay?” Rick smiled. This wasn’t a reason to yell your name, so you softly shook your head and pinched the bridge of your nose. “I didn’t know if you were still at the pantry or not, sorry if it seemed like i was in need.”

With a sigh you looked back up at Rick. “Yeah i can watch them. Come find me next time, thought i was in trouble or someone else was.” He nodded in understanding. “I gotta get to the infirmary, check on those supplies for next week’s visit from Negan, come by when you’re leaving so i can head over.

~~

As you sat down in your chair at the infirmary, checking over supplies. You weren’t like Olivia, you’d triple check everything even when one thing is added to the supply, you’ll check everything again. It was one of the things to cure your boredom or when, cases like this, happen. Your feet propped up on your desk while there was a box in your lap. You organize everything about twice a week now. It was just a way to pass time. Sitting at your desk for hours now, you lost track of time until there was a knock at your door, writing down the count you had, and then separating the counted vs uncounted so you could finish later.

“y/n?” Rick voice was heard as you walked towards the door. The door creaked while you opened it. “Hey! We’re getting ready to leave in a few minutes here, you got-“ You cut him off.

“Watch over Carl and Judith, yep!” You smiled, and grabbed your notebook from your desk. “I’ll head over now.” Ricks hand went to your shoulder.

“Thanks y/n, i know i can count on you.” Rick spoke, leaving shortly before you did.

~~

Over the week, since Negans visit, you’ve checked the infirmary multiple times. You didn’t want to lose anyone. Negans patterns on showing up varied, sometimes he’ll show up days early, or days later. Shocking enough, he visited exactly a week from lasts visit. He had to mean business on what he said with the stock. Quickly making your way to the infirmary, to avoid them going through it without you.

Once inside the infirmary, and since you already checked the stock many.. many times, you sat on your desk and were just doodling in your notebook. You kept that notebook on you almost all the time, there were doodles and sayings, but you also kept things special to you written in it, people’s names, items from your childhood, it was just a reminder for yourself that there are good things to think about in this new world.

You heard a knock at the door, assuming it was Rick you just said, “Come in.”, still doodling in your book. Once the door opened the footsteps that followed were heavier than Ricks. Your eyes shot up and instantly connected with the man just a few feet from you. Negan. “oh, i thought-“ You started but it would sound dumb so you didn’t finish. Closing your notebook and setting it aside.

“You thought..?” Negans eyebrows raise as he takes a slow, dragging, walk over to you. Intimidation tactic that didn’t quite work on you.

“I thought you were Rick.” You spoke truthfully, you didn’t have a reason to lie, but you did have a reason not to tell him. He nodded and leaned against your desk.

There was an uncomfortable silence. How to stop it, not sure. You felt him staring so you looked up at him. connecting with his hazel eyes, that you damned yourself for realizing the color of. “So Ricky the Pricky got you doing infirmary work?” Negans voice filled up the silence, you couldn’t tell if silence or his voice were worse.

“I enjoy it, and am probably the only one to actually know what they’re doing.. so yeah?” You said back, finally forcing your eyes out the window instead of at him.

Your peripheral though, kept him in view. you saw his face rise up and you glanced at him. he was smirking. Knowing a stupid remark was coming. “Are you calm around me, or are you just the shy type?” That wasn’t that you expected of him.

“What?” Your eyebrows stitch together as you looked back at him, this time his eyes trained on the floor.

He clicked his tongue before talking again. “most people here, would be glaring up a storm. talking me out of being in the same room as them.“ He finally met your eyes. He was smiling, his stupid usual smile. “Hell, some would flip me the bird by now. Not you, why?” He was one for always keeping eye contact, so you did too.

You took a little longer to answer, thinking of an appropriate response. “I don’t know.” You shrugged. What were you supposed to say? The reason people cower away is because well.. they’re cowards. You’ve been put in situation and Negan, as intimidating as he is to eveyrone, doesn’t intimidate you. “Why should i be scared, when all you’re doing is sitting… well leaning, next to me.” Was all the reason you could muster up.

This made Negan let out a laugh. “Honestly i’d get upset if you were scared of me.. you’re such a pretty (girl/boy) I mean, why would i want someone like you scared of me?” He flirted, you don’t know if it was to purposely make you uncomfortable, or just him being bored, hell maybe he just wanted to flirt with you. you didn’t know. Finally breaking eye contact to look down. “Ah, did i strike a little sensitive spot? can’t handle being complimented?” Negan was talking in a way that made you feel like you were being made fun of. He was just playing his game, this wasn’t anything to do with you in specific.

Your view was set onto the floor under your feet. Not looking back up at him. You didn’t want to reply until he took a gentle grasp of your jaw and made you look at him. “Don’t get all shy now.” His voice was low and raspy, purposely sending a shiver down your spine. He kept his firm grip, and stared into your eyes.

“I..” you started quietly, you don’t know what to say. “It was just..” You paused, not knowing how to word it. “I just don’t get compliments a lot, and it’s weird coming from you..” You spoke truthfully.

He hummed quietly, nodding. Still not letting go of your jaw. He wanted you to look at him. “You’re trembling.” He smirked, you didn’t even realize but when you did your mouth opened to say something, but Negan being faster. “I bet i could get you wrapped around my finger if i tried. Compliment you more.” His smirk increased as he leaned in. it was only teasing.. he’d never actually kiss you.

“Negan..” You whispered his name. He shushed you, his hand moving from grasping your jaw into pinching your chin in between his pointer and thumb. He lifted your head up a little.

Negan moved his body to standing before you, his grip still just as firm. Subconsciously your legs separated as you leaned back just a little, a way to get further away from him. He took this as an invitation, stepping in between your legs. His hand went to the table right next to your hip, leaning over you now.

“Do i scare you y/n y/l/n?” Negan spoke. Your breathing quickened. Maybe you were uncomfortable, or maybe you somehow found this attractive. He leaned over just a little more, his thighs rubbing against yours a bit.

Negan licked his lips. “No.. of course not.” You spoke, less firm than you wanted too. “I’m just…” You actually didn’t know what to say.

Negans hand slid from the table onto your thigh. His eyes went to his own hand before back to your eyes. “so if you’re not scared.. why is your breath heavy?” He smirked, knowing how he affected you.

Your eyes went to his arm, since his hand was still on your chin you couldn’t quite look completely at where his hand laid. Negan finally let go of your chin. No response from you.

“Speak when spoken to.” He spoke, you leaned up to sit a little more comfortably, even though getting closer to Negan. His thumb rubbed your thigh, made you even more speechless.

“I’m.. awkward, under the circumstances.” you whispered, you watched his thumb rub at your thigh. “Why are you doing this..?” You tilted your head.

He leaned closer now your lips only a few inches apart. “Because you’re letting me.” His gripped your thigh now instead of rubbing it. No one’s touched you like this and you didn’t know how to react. “Can i kiss you?” His voice was quiet, his eyes weren’t looking away from your lips.

You didn’t know, you wanted it but remembering who he was your hand went to his chest and gently pushed him back. “This is a bad idea.” Negan only smirked at your response. His hand stoped holding your thigh, grabbing the bottles of medicine and stepping back.

“Well i hope to see you around y/n. Keep me and what i just did in your thoughts.” He winked, leaving the infirmary. Instant regret with how you just rejected something that you most definitely wanted. You damned yourself for being scared.

tag list :)!!

@pinchofhoney / @starstruck-loner

[froggy-anon]

I don’t smoke (Except for when I'm missing you)

Paring: pre re2!Ada Wong x gn!reader

Prompt: Your relationship with Ada was… let’s just say rocky for a while now. Low contact, constant work trips and unavoidable arguments while she’s home- it’s just too much. You both changed since she started working with Wesker …, and so did your body.

Warnings:  angst, body horror, no use of y/n, maybe nsft?, implied reader’s death, bebe you get infected so yeah but it wasn't meant to happen at least, semi-dependant reader, use of tobacco, vomiting, shitty punctuation and misuse of commas, canon divergence, semi-good ending???? idk

Word count: 2.3k 

Notes: omg did I finally post something instead of keeping it in my wips?? hell yeah! I might not be hyperfixating on RE now but I can't get Ada off my head. I mean- just look at her! She's perfect<3 Fucking hell it took me A LONG time to finally finish it but shh… Also only after writing did I realize that the idea is very similar to this fic my @uhlunaro so definitely check this out bc they’re an amazing writer<3

Actually proofread (like ½ for sure) by me omg

It all happened too fast; it was just the usual Thursday morning, the smell of freshly ground coffee and the familiar scent of your lover were in the air as you made the breakfast and the eggs you made were perfectly crispy with runny yolk. Everything seemed to be like it used to but then the call happened… You knew who was it, everyone knew because who else would it be? It was supposed to be your day, you both took the day off and you spent the last few days planning everything out. It was your anniversary, the day you should celebrate your love and not some emergency in the lab! But of course… She was gone again. 

“Why can’t you just pretend that you love me for once!?,” was the last thing you cried out screamed at her as she left. It’s just painful to know that even today her work is more important. It left you weeping softly on the floor, as the yolk of the egg spilled more and more towards your feet from the plate you broke. “Why can’t we be a normal couple…” Your tears had flown out even more now that you were alone.

Ada never liked when you smoked, she always said it left this awful scent on your fingers and breath but why would you care now? A soft breeze hit your face as you inhaled the smoke from your cigarette, who’d think that living near the river could be so nice? Loving Ada is tiring, she used to be one of the most caring and loving people you’ve ever known- even before you started dating! And now it all changed… Yeah, working in some big pharma company can be tiring but it’s ruining both of you. 

The butt of the cigarette was still slowly burning as you looked in the distance. She used to tell you how she grew up near the sea, how they used to go there every day after school and play until the dawn came. She used to say how she’d take me to her hometown in China. You never were even close to one, your parents used to take you and your brother to the countryside on holidays or visit the lake near your hometown; it wasn’t the same though. Loving Ada was never easy, she had her own problems as well as you had yours but before all this you both managed to heal, to thrive. You should’ve left when it started, before all the arguments and hate. It’s not a new idea but the thought of being alone again is scary. Ugh, you’re thinking too much, it makes you dizzy. Or maybe was it the cigarette?

You always get dizzy, maybe all this overthinking is too much for you. You head towards the kitchen sink and fill up a glass with the tap water. It was just a small argument, it wasn’t worth all the mess. You never thought that water would make you feel worse, no one would! We need it to live, so why your insides are burning? Who cares, anyway the mess won’t clean itself. It doesn’t feel right, nothing feels right. The burning sensation might’ve stopped but it was replaced with this sore, almost itchy feeling. Ada came home late again, she’s not looking better than you but as you greet her you could see a spark of worry in her eyes. Why would she worry? There’s nothing to worry about, right? All you can do is sigh and act like nothing happened, she surely flinches when you kiss her because she’s still annoyed over today’s morning…

You woke up somehow more tired than before you went to sleep. Funny enough you also look like shit. Yeah, you can tell yourself that you caught a cold but if so, then why does my body itch so much? Ada looks less worried than tomorrow but finally is some more affectionate than usual. Maybe the fight made her think finally.

You miss her touch though; the way she smuggles up to your chest and how soft are her lips. You miss how she used to be so good. You miss how your life was before this Wesker guy. Good, she’s warming up again. She kissed you goodbye and said something about coming home later. Weird…

It’s itching, itching so much. It feels like something is under your skin and it’s moving… It sure has to be a delusion, a hallucination maybe but it feels so real. Let’s try to calm down. okay? You can’t go to work while being such a mess and after all some DayQuill will help you a ton. You go to the kitchen and prepare some breakfast before popping some cold meds. You brush your still tangled hair to the side and oh my… I- it’s weird, you always had strong and healthy hair after all so why a clump of them is in your hand right now? I mean, I guess all all of the stress lately finally got to you, being a news reporter is not easy and it shouldn’t be. You sure will feel better when you’re finally in your work wear and clean face.

As soon as you get to the bathroom you hit the sink and rinse your face. It’s dry and surprisingly harder than always. As you lift your head and you look in the mirror, the rougher parts of your face look bruised. And there are some lacerations which weren’t there when you woke up- Ada would point them out for sure. It’s weird but that’s nothing that some makeup can’t fix. Also, it’s not like you can just get a day off at a whim. The amount of concealer you put on your face is enough to put a gyaru inro shame and yet your face still feels wrong and itchy. You brush your hair getlly while trying to not rip out another chunk of your hair and put on your usual shirt and blazer before putting on short heels on your sore and reddish feet. You sat at the vanity waiting for your usual makeup artist to return and rehearse your lines. It’s so hard to focus on the letters and it feels like you’re in a haze. It’s hard to explain really, mostly because it’s hard to form coherent thoughts too. No matter how much you rub your eyes and take small breaks you just can’t focus on anything. Words on the paper are blurry and there's always a silhouette of something or someone in the corner of your vision. It hurts and you’re almost sure that your feet are bleeding. You don’t even realize when the makeup artist has returned and been putting some TV stick on your face until she gets to the painful lesions you passed as some chemical burn from a face mask. Your concept of time is distorted and looking back now you don’t even remember when you and your colleague went live. Funny… You got suddenly sick and now you’re delivering the news of the water reservoir your apartment complex uses being contaminated.

Black tar filled your lungs making your trachea burn so pleasantly. The smoke inside your lungs made you feel so giddy right before you exhale. Cigarettes always help you take your mind off your problems and help preserve good emotions. You know that one day they will be the end of you, but it’s not like you’re gonna live forever so why not have fun now? 

Shadowy figures followed you home from the studio, it’s surprising that you managed to work your usual shift. Even your coworkers caught on your ailing and lying to them that you’re just a bit under the weather felt bad. Bills ain’t gonna pay themselves though so you gotta do what you gotta do. Ada didn’t say anything about your illness and only looked at you pitifully compassionately before kissing your cheek, she even offered to make a dinner for today. You pulled into a hug and her warm touch against your calloused skin reminded you of the old times, of the days you first met and how beautiful your relationship was. She smelled like honey and antiseptics, you couldn’t stop yourself from taking a deep breath of her scent which made your heart flutter. Her skin is so soft and delicate, making you want to bite down and taste her flesh push her against the counter and take her whole, she’s your wife after all. Before you can do that though she pulls away and makes a beeline towards the fridge. The packs of water, the ones that appeared in your kitchen a few days ago, took your attention away from her. You couldn’t help but feel a bit suspicious.

You didn’t sleep much- in fact, you didn’t sleep at all. Your body just kept itching and the nausea you felt as you forced down the dinner before got progressively worse. You can feel your body changing, turning into something disgusting as your skin gets progressively covered in more bruises and blisters where it seemed to be just irritated this morning. The taste of pennies in your mouth and dry skin on your lips isn’t doing you any favour either. It was only a matter of time before you ended up hunched over the toiled letting the dark ooze flow out of your stomach freely. Your vision kept spinning and those black creatures you saw before were coming closer. It’s not real, it has to be! Just try to remember that whatever you’re seeing is. not. real.

Throwing up usually makes you feel better; not this time though. Your eyes became watery and your fingers bloody as you gripped the toilet bowl. The odour of rotting flesh filled your nostrils and the sickeningly sweet note of it made you gag again. You dealt with rotten meat before on a few occasions and it never was so sweet.

“Shit!”

You broke out of your trance as the bathroom lit up.  Your head shot in the direction of the sound and of course, you noticed your worried lover standing in the doorway. Only a grunt was able to leave your mouth making your throat ache. “Are you okay?” She asked hesitantly as she approached. She looks scared for some reason? You’re just a bit sick, there’s no reason to be scared!

And then you looked down. The toilet was full of brownish-blackish and thick fluid and definitely not dinner. The sides of the toilet were covered in your blood and one of your nails was lying on the floor directly next to the bowl. You take a look at your hands and it makes your breath quicken. Your fingers were all purple and greenish, even some of the tips of your fingers were, unlike the spots on your skin, bloated.

“What the fuck is happening to me?” Your voice was husky and every word felt like a razor being pulled out of your throat. Ada just looked sad… You’d expect her to be scared, to scram, run away, but instead, she just kneeled next to you and pulled you into a loose embrace, as if she was scared to hurt you more.

It pained you, the lightest touch of her silky pyjamas or her warm hands made your skin feel like it was breaking and about to fall off. It was excruciating yet you laid your head gently on her shoulder. You should be scared, furious! You should feel whatever else than sorrow and warmth inside your chest. A few tears flew down your cheeks onto her arm as you bit down on your lip to stop a pathetic sob from escaping. You could feel her hand slowly crase your head like she always did before you used to fall asleep before your life became occupied by jealousy and your jobs took over your time, before your relationship went downhill. She let out a barely audible “I’m sorry…” and you swear you felt her breath hitch.

They are scratching your brain, you can feel every bone in your body change its shape, or maybe you’re just going insane.

Ada is making phone calls in the kitchen as you sit at the dinner table and scratch your fingers, eventually ripping one or two loose fingernails off. She keeps glancing at you while trying her best to hide the fear in her eyes. Damn, a cigarette would be good now… You can feel your muscles tear with your every move and slowly fall off your bones. Necrosis on your skin expands and only a few spots on your body are left the same colour as before.

It hurts, it hurts it hurts it hurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurtsithutsithurtsithutrsithurst i t h u r t s  s o  b a d l y.

Suddenly you can smell the familiar scent of honey and now Ada’s shampoo as she wraps her hands around you from behind. She looks so soft and tasty, so vulnerable. Her touch hurts so good you want to fall into her tight embrace, squeeze her waist tightly and fuse into one. It makes you feel loved again… And then your body stops aching.

You felt sudden force against your neck like you were punched, and then something lukewarm flowing down your chest as Ada creases your cheek slowly. It hurts for a while until it just stops. Everything just fades…

“I don't smoke Except for when I'm missing you To remember your mouth, how it Tasted true And I don't smoke Except for after I've held you, baby Being with you Makes the flame burn good”

It took me so long to finally post something but here it is! I hope you like the creation of euphoric me because let's be real, no way I'd write this fully without being euphoric :3 Technically it should've been posted on Pride Month but shh...

Dividers: @cafekitsune p1 p2

Song: I don't smoke by Mitski

©2023, froggy-anon and their related entities. All rights reserved.

[strawhbrrries]

Babys Breath, iii

pairing: bob floyd x seresin!florist!reader

summary: Bob stumbles into the nearest florist to the funeral he’s attending and, unknowingly, charms Jake Seresin’s sweet younger sister with all the anxious charm he possesses.

warnings: everyone calls reader “sunshine”, fluff!!!, protective older brother jake??, warnings will differ depending on chapter, no use of y/n or description of reader, not proofread 

word count: 1088 words

authors note: boom, third part! more sweet sweet interactions of bobby and sunshine!!! as always, please enjoy! mwah! if you'd like to be added to the tag list just drop a comment :)

tag list: @myownworstenemyyy @kloofspeaks @bcon24 @chaosofmanyfandoms @strangerparks

find the masterlist here!

read the previous part here! and the next part here!

Shit.

How could you be so careless? If you let either one of them know about each other it could be the end of everything, Jake was the most dramatic person you’d ever known. You really couldn’t predicate how Bob would react to Jake being your brother but anyone with a brain could guess it wouldn’t be well. 

you do…but it doesn’t matter :)

You watched the three bubbles pop up before his message of Fair enough and some other words popped up, the relief flooded through your body as he didn’t question it any further. Luck was on your side here, you and Jake didn’t look alike in the slightest. Growing up you were constantly asked if one of you was adopted or if you were half-siblings or cousins, it worked in your favor when you wanted to flirt with people who were scared of your brother. Other than that it was just frustrating, you’d be a millionaire if you had a nickel for every time someone asked if you were really siblings.

Jake was notorious for scaring anyone who was interested in you, playing the scary older brother card. He had been protective of you for as long as you can remember, running to your rescue even when you didn’t want him to. Deep down you knew it was because he loved you, wanted to make sure you were safe. On the surface you voiced your frustration, one time you went an entire month without uttering a word to him. He tried texting you during that month but you had him blocked. You knew this whole stunt about not texting Bob was rooted in his protectiveness, and his ego. 

You spent the rest of the night learning the ins-and-outs of Bob Floyd, all the things that make him tick. And he did the same with you. You learned he almost didn’t come back to Top Gun due to a family emergency, you made sure he knew you were glad he came. He learned you hated bugs, not that you were scared of them, but their presence just ticked you off. If you had been with him you’d have heard his laugh ring out at the message, he’d never met someone who felt so strongly about bugs. Every time the vibration of a text came through you broke out into a huge smile, scrambling to pick it up and respond.

Can I visit you at the shop tomorrow?

He threw his phone towards the end of the bed, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses. What if you thought it was too soon? What if you thought he was weird? What if you didn’t actual care for him and were only-

of course! I open at about 9am and we close around 6

He let out a shaky breath at the message, smiling softly as he chewed on his lower lip. He asked if you liked coffee and then asked what your favorite kind is, trying to figure out if he had to go out of his way to get you some in the morning. Even if you were playing a cruel joke on him it didn’t mean he could half-ass any of his flirting. Even if the universe was just being an ass, he was going to play all his cards right.

You said your goodnights and placed your phone on the nightstand next to your bed, a small smile playing on your face as you thought about the conversation. It fell when you heard movement from Jake’s room, now all you could think about was how you were going to keep this from him and how he would react if he found out. You typically weren’t one to dig holes but the hole you found yourself in was waist deep and only getting bigger. 

Ding!

You looked up from the flowers you were placing in the display case to see the sandy blonde aviator you were expecting, not so early but you welcomed the surprise. He had two paper coffee cups in his hand and a picture worthy smile on his face.

“Went to get coffee and remembered you were on the drive to work.” He lied, not that you know, knowing he intentionally went out of his way to see you on his way there. “I got whatever concoction you texted last night.”

“Oh thank god, I overslept and didn’t get a chance to make a cup! My asshole of a brother wasn’t too kind to make me some either.” You rolled your eyes when you spoke about your brother, taking the coffee from Bob with a smile. A moan leaving your mouth as you took a sip. “Jesus, Bobby. This is way better than anything I’ve ever had, this is my exact order?”

“Exactly as you texted it, it’s from a place around the corner. They’re pretty good.” He smiled, his cheeks turning pink at the moan and the compliment. “From what I hear your brother isn’t the greatest person. You’re sure I know him?”

“I’ll check them out later.” You took another sip of the coffee, listening to him talk about Jake without knowing it was about him. You figured he’d speak the same way even if he knew it was Jake, most people weren’t his biggest fan. Yourself included some days. “One hundred percent, or at least he knows you. Don’t worry about it though, he’s unimportant.”

Bob spent all his free time that morning leaning against a glass case full of example bouquets, talking to you about the day ahead. He spoke about the training he had, having to explain some of it in simpler terms for you to truly understand. You spoke about the orders you had to fulfill, explaining some of the flowers and where they were going. It was clear to both of you that the other loved their job, the passion exuded when you spoke was obvious. You waved him goodbye as his free time was, very quickly, ending. You flipped the sign to open and watched him walk to his car, pulling out your phone to send him a quick text.

thanks for coming to see me, bobby. I needed the pick me up this morning 🫶🏼

When he looked back at the front door you had already moved to go do something else within the shop. He smiled at the nickname, pocketing his phone and making his way to the base. He really needed to figure out which asshole he worked with was related to you.

[phoenixfangs]

tagged by @rizaposting HOLDING UR HAND AND PRESSING MY FOREHEAD AGAINST UR SHOULDER i never get tagged in these so this is fun huehue

are you named after anyone? not technically, ive asked my parents multiple times about How they came up with me and my siblings names, but they just. didnt think very hard about it. fjkdlsjfdlas. but in a way im named after my mom, because me and saturns given names start with the same letter as our moms; my younger siblings names start with the same letter as our dads. i guess me and saturn could also be named for one of my dads uncles?? our names mixed make that uncles name. but idk im not willing to believe my dad cares that much about Anyone in his family to honor their memory through our names lawl

when was the last time you cried? i think the other day watching atla, when zuko and iroh reunite before the final battle. zuko trying to stumble through an apology and thinking iroh must hate him, but iroh just without even saying anything grabbing zuko and pulling him into a tight and tearful hug... man ;_;

do you have kids? HELL NO!!!!! im barely halfway through my 20s i should be at the club. dont want kids, never wanted kids, will never want kids. i will tolerate being my nieces and nephews cool auncle when my siblings start having kids of their own, and No More, thanks

do you use sarcasm a lot? i guess so?? its hard to gauge. i feel like most of the time i speak sincerely, but i will also throw in the occasional sarcastic quip. shrugs

what sports do you play? i dont play any sports anymore, but up until high school i played softball. i was pretty good i think! pitcher and second base. also in middle/high school i was a baton twirler for band and i guess dance competitions (i have Never thought of it as 'dance' but i guess technically i was dancing... blegh), and im gonna count that as a sport. any activity with the possibility and probability of being hit on the head by a metal rod counts as a sport to me

what’s the first thing you notice about people? probably their height. most people are taller than me but i will make an immediate note of people who are Shorter than me

what’s your eye color? grrrreen gray? i spent a few minutes staring at my eyes trying to figure out the color but all i did was strain my eyes jfldks

scary movies or happy endings? hmmmmmm i love both. i like blood and gore and guts and evil, but i also like heartwarming fluff where everything works out. i cant decide!! it just depends on my mood hehe

any special talents? i hesitate to claim i have perfect pitch because it sounds self congratulatory, but im pretty sure i have perfect pitch lmao. i cant Identify notes by name but i can recreate pretty much any note i hear, as long as its in my range. im not a good singer though lawl i dont have the technique. in the same vein, i can recreate other noises i hear pretty well, like i taught myself how to do the perry the platypus clicking sound Thing he does just by listening to it

where were you born? texas born and raised! everyone i knew growing up was a redneck or a 'cowboy church' christian

what are your hobbies? drawing, writing fanfic oneshots or rps with friends, bideo games, rewatching the same handful of tv shows and letsplays and video essays over and over again

do you have any pets? my son, my sweet bubby, apollo :> my stupid little man, hes gonna be 3 this year i think! flame point siamese kitty, dumb as rocks, currently i think hes burrowed in the sheets on my bed taking a nappy

how tall are you? 5'2", but add a couple inches because i almost exclusively wear shoes that add height, like my Big Dyke Boots i wear every day hehe

favorite subject in school? any of my electives probably, like art and music/band. in college my favorite classes i ever took were film appreciation, screenwriting, and theatre directing (which i signed up for thinking it was film directing, but it was still so fun and interesting)

dream job? honestly?? i think anything on the set of a movie or tv show would be awesome. maybe creative consultant, so that i can interject my own ideas into other peoples projects. i tend to feel my most creative when im working Around other peoples ideas tbh. all that, or lead writer/director on my own tv show/movie/video game, if i ever feel like i can handle that pressure

GET TAGGED @applescabs @lizardyeast @cottagegay and anyone else that sees and wants to participate :>

[pyreofsunflowers]

I dislike soooooo much of the writing in Ultimate and how they handled the characters n the plot but I think the WORST thing in that entire show is the way they wrote Alucard...

He's monstrous, sadistic and ultra-violent - sure, that's not my problem. My PROBLEM is that he's written in this stupid try hard edgelord fashion, which is NEVER interesting EVER.

I want Alucard to be sadist, I want him to be a violent monster who can kill people in horrific ways without remorse. But I also want him to be a character, and a well written one at that.

in MY mind - it's more like he's able to keep his demons in check (especially considering he's a government agent - ? and Integra seems pretty cautious about collateral damage - ?) under a suave, classy demeanor that's still ridiculously imposing and scary but not necessarily insane. When he chooses to go crazy - he goes CRAZY believe me. I'm not one of those people who think the gore in Ultimate is too much or try hard, it's the best part of the show. That being said ~ I also like the idea that he's lost an element of his control - or that it's not as good as it used to be and he (somewhat regularly) slips up and lets his emotions get the best of him. Of course, I imagine that he generally regrets these mistakes - either because it scares Integra/Seras or because he hates himself for loosing control and thinks he should have been stronger. Depending on the context.

oh and should I mention the whole edgelord thing really doesn't work with him being Count Dracula? Who's very much not an edgelord?

I just feel like he could have been such a complex character - especially if they had leaned more into a romantic plotline with him and Seras. How he'd be so afraid of hurting her, but how she so desperately wants to be corrupted by him. WHEREEEEE was them fucking on camera HIRANO - i KNOW you draw porn.

So desperately do I want him to have his monsters just below the surface, I want him to be scared of himself and to hate himself for it. I want him to try and try to keep himself from hurting the one he loves, to try and tell her this isn't what she deserves - that she's too pure and too innocent for this life. And I want Seras to tell him 'no' to become a monster like him and to love him every minute of it. I mean - if this is the character he should have, in my mind it makes the most sense that it's explored through romance. Especially one as tragic as theirs, one that has lasted centuries and has always ended in death.

Like ughhh just imagine how goood it would be when Alucard realizes Seras is just as fucked up as he is and he's able to be himself around her. how much havoc they can wreck together. how nasty he can fuck her <- sorry. But that's defiantly part of it. Like imagine how nervous he must have been to touch her for the first time, how much taking her virginity would weigh on him considering how rough and sadistic he is. Hellsing is like the one show I think that would have benefited from a consensual sex scene between the two leads. IT WOULD have been soooo good and could have given su soooo much introspection into there relationship.... Ugh but I can dream Ig, and it seems people generally really like edgelord-card but personally I cant stand him. where's my complex characters dammit. whatever. this is for a gorefest anime that isn't even supposed to be deep. But i wish it was better, If you even care.

[keibea]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Is everyone sick of learning random facts about me yet? Yes? Well, here we go again, cause I LOVE THEM. Thank you @vmsims23 , @nectar-cellar and @johziii for tagging me, you all know me too well.

Are you named after anyone? LOL nope, I honestly wish I was. Jessica was the only name my parents could agree on BAHHAHA.

When was the last time you cried? Monday 🙃I had a painful exam experience.

Do you have kids? Nope and thank goodness for that because I can barely take care of myself BAHAHHA.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh yeah, I'm terrible. Not as much as I used to I don't think though, but often WHOOPS.

What sports do you play/have you played? I was forced to play a lot for school, as I think most people were. The ones I can remember the most clearly are netball (I was let on the team out of necessity I think), bocce (because we could all get away with sitting around most of the time and occasionaly rolling the balls), zumba (it was mostly just dance which was SICK), and ballet (if that counts??) is the one I stuck with the longest and the only one I chose to wilingly do myself.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Hair or smile. I'm not quite sure. One of those I think.

Scary movies or happy endings? No scary movies for me, nope. I'm horribly paranoid, I will start checking my wardorbe. Happy endings ALL THE WAY. Genuinely I will only watch a movie and read a book if I know it has a happy ending idc YES IM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

Any special talents? Depends on what you define as a special talent. So I don't know if this counts, but I am weirdly a natural at baking??? Definitely not freestyle but if I follow a recipe (which I always do because I like doing things in order) it always turns out really well. So I guess that's just following a recipe, but I like to think I'm special and naturally talented at baking. My mum always finishes my baking off though because I get bored halfway through whoops and she genrally always helps me because I'm terrible with the oven so tbh maybe it's just mum that's talented.

Where were you born? AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE, OI, OI, OI 🦘

What are your hobbies? Sims, sims, also sims, reading about early Victorian fashion, reading about the Victorian era, reading and that's probably it.

Do you have any pets? I have a beautiful little cat named Mikey. He is my best cat friend (and tbh, best friend in general) and I love him very much.

How tall are you? My father says I'm very short, and calls me a worm (both said affectionately I should add), so I assume pretty short. In terms of numbers though, not a clue. I believe I'm average-ish height for a woman, maybe a bit shorter.

Fave subject in school? HISTORY ALL THE WAY. Mostly modern history, purely because I love the Victorian era, but I do enjoy ancient history as well.

Dream job? Fashion historian! That or an author of historical fiction OR a book on early Victorian women's fashion.

Eye colour? I like to call them swamp green, but my mum would disagree, so I'll say green.

I shall annoy @lazysunjade , @amuhav , @thesimperiuscurse (oh yes you bet I am @ ing people who are inactive and who also never do these things, I am 100% that sort of person), @akioakashiya , @itssimplythesims , @lifewithmysims , @elderwisp , @happy-lemon , @servospawn , @tau1tvec , @bunmou , @stinkrascal , @cozygirlsimmer , @moonsonnet , @doka-chan

Please forgive/ignore me if you hate doing this sort of thing, or if you've been tagged and done it already, and wow thank you all for being my mutuals I didn't know I had so many amazing people following me back LETS GOOOO

[salsedine]

15 Questions for "15" Friends

Tagged by @greypetrel - thank you! :*

Are you named after anyone?

50%-50%? My parents swear that they weren't influenced by Greta Garbo in any way or form - they just liked the name. Stella is for my great-grandmother (hungarian origins, archetype of the "strong woman of the family definitely born in the wrong era").

When was the last time you cried?

Last week. <- Same, wohoo! But it wasn't a big cathartic cry - kind of a disappointing one, really. Yes, I'm a Pisces, of course I sort the act of crying in different categories.

Do you have kids?

Premise: I don't hate kids, and I feel strongly about the fact that they should be more respected as individuals / human beings with their own agency. That being said, I'd rather torn my uterus apart with my bare hands. Or gift it to somebody who wants it. So no: I never wanted any.

What sports do you play/have you played?

Various - tennis for a few years, soccer at school, some athletics. But my love was (is?) dancing - I did modern jazz and then contemporary dance for about seven years. Currently I'm taking hatha yoga classes, which is quite painful most of the time - but necessary, since I have a full time office job and I'm glued to the chair.

Do you use sarcasm?

Me? Never ;)

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

How they move/occupy the space they are in: if they use a lot their hands while talking, how they laugh, their voice etc. I'm a "I first see the broader context and then the single detail" person. And no, I don't judge.

What’s your eye color?

Green/grey

Scary movies or happy endings comedies?

It depends on the definition of 'scary', I suppose. Since that's ambiguous, I'll go with comedies. The right answer is: period dramas, obviously.

Any talents?

I have a very strong memory (name/surname and voice and things they confessed to me of my classmates from Scuola Media, and that was 15+ years ago), which is both useful and anxiety-inducing. I have a pretty good balance, and with some stretching I think I can still put my foot behind my neck?

Where were you born?

In a hospital ;)

What are your hobbies?

Painting/drawing, swimming, photography, reading, trying to find plants that I won't manage to kill. And listening to music - I'm useless with instruments, tho. BUT I do have an electric guitar that my father gave me and I'd love to try to learn something, as soon as I'm not renting and I have a proper place.

Do you have any pets?

Does a seaweed (yes, a marimo) count as a pet? I grew up with a dog, and he died many years ago. Since then I had no pets. Now that I live on my own (very discreet flatmate aside) I'd like to have a cat, but I think it would be better to have a bigger flat, and just more space in general. I'd hate for them to feel bored and costricted, it doesn't feel fair. Right now I don't plan on getting another dog, for various reasons.

How tall are you?

My ID cards have different ideas: the new one says 168 cm, the old one said 170 cm. We shall never know!

Favorite subject in school?

Art history, history, philosophy, biology, and chemistry applied to fine arts.

Dream job?

AHAHA Anyway! Illustrator or teacher. Ideally both. I'd love to work in a museum too, since I already have some experience in that field. Overall, I guess that I need a mentally stimulating job that makes me feel like I'm doing something meaningful - in a way or another. (This is why I briefly considered looking into art therapy, but knowing myself I'd just feel like a huge fraud). ...and I just noticed that all my dream jobs are based on communication (either through visual arts or...talking?) and relating to other people, which is hilarious considering my whole self.

Tag time! :D Maybe @birdkeeperklink - @pyritefes2 & @mafaldinablabla could be interested? Absolutely no pressure tho, feel free to skip this if it's not your thing!

Byeeee

[waffliesinyoface]

Re: that ask game post i just reblogged

under a readmore because it's gonna be long. it's about Hasami, obviously.

1: she does have a big one, but she can only sleep with it at home, because, you know. you can't really bring a big stuffed wolf plushie on a mission. (Yes, it's a wolf. She didn't buy it herself, it was a present when she was younger, because giving wolf-related items as presents to an inuzuka is just like. The thing to do. Obviously the wolf-clan girl likes dogs.)

2: plant: no. pet: yes, but only because most childhood chores were some variation of "go take care of puppies". child: absolutely not. please do not attempt to make her hold a baby.

3: this isn't a problem until she's been working as a ninja for several years but one day she realizes that the majority of her friends are incredibly strong, lethal women who are occasionally covered in sweat and blood, and now she has to be. normal. about this.

4: does red facepaint/magical seal tattoos count? if so, yes. if not... maybe? I'm not sure.

5: she's not exactly prone to giving speeches but also. she's based on me and I have exactly zero issues with public speaking, so. She could do it? It's just not exactly the kind of thing that comes up.

6: I'm not sure about who she'd take advice from, because like. It depends on the subject. But if her first impression of you is that you're annoying, she will probably never listen to anything you say, ever. If someone else comes along and agrees with them, she might listen. To them. But she won't be happy about it.

7: im not doing this one because i am incapable of being concise :)

8: Frustrate. She is. She can be smart. But also. She is mostly built for stabbing things. She tried to ask Tenten about fuinjutsu one (1) time to save money on exploding seals and the barest simplest most stripped down fuinjutsu felt like trying to do trigonometry without a calculator. Please do not give this girl a puzzle that cannot be solved with some form of violence.

9: Yes, because I do too. But it's not such a big deal to her because there's more important things, like not dying.

10: She's just fine at the age she is now.

11: Save most of it, but like. Maybe a couple impulse purchases. (Does konoha even HAVE a lottery? Also how would she win, she wouldn't buy a ticket.)

12: Give her a few years.

13: She gets taught lots of life skills, because Ninja Mom. But maybe the most important thing she learned is the fact that sometimes very scary things will just happen and it will be awful and people will lie to you and everyone will just treat it as completely normal!! Thanks!!

14: She would, but also, I haven't thought of any she has. Hrm.

15: Hates cleaning things because they're just going to get dirty again ANYWAYS.

16: I'm going to assume this is for like. Fancy occasion type stuff. Because ninja wear the cost is less important than "will this be a hindrance in a fight y/n". So for NON-mission related clothes. She would like to wear an extremely fancy layered kimono at some point.

17: She IS a children, but even so: not really!! Kids konohamaru's age and younger are mentally classified as "annoying brats"

18: Give her a few years.

19: Studying is hard but if you get good points on the practical that makes up for it!! Also what is a "job interview" she signed up to be a child soldier at age six, and as such never has to worry about them. Because she is already a tool of the state.

20: At some point on a C-rank her team is going to eat at a restaurant that sells food which is like. The naruto-equivalent of western food. Hasami is the ONLY person who likes it, and is SO ANNOYED that she can't get any in konoha. I would say something cheese-based, but I'm not sure if that's common in the elemental nations or not. I know they have cows. But I don't know if cheese is popular.

21: please stop asking about dating questions she is twelve and an idiot

22: no, they're LAME

23: Stability. Novelty is nice but she gets a lot of that in just normal missions. "Stability" is good, when your chosen profession is violence. Unfortunately she lives in konoha, and *looks at orochimaru. and pein. and obito.* uh oh!!!

24: Honesty. Yes she knows there's lots of lies involved in ninja society, but that does not mean she has to Like It.

25: She would probably prefer safety for some stuff, but also: sometimes it is literally not on the table. Unfortunately you do have to take risks as a ninja. A lot. All the time.

26: They are not mutually exclusive even talented people have to put in effort and even people who have to work hard are better at some things than others.

27: Vengeance : )

28: please stop asking about dating questions she is twelve and an idiot

29: She very occasionally dreams about non-narutoland stuff and it is frustrating because that's not her life anymore. Especially annoying when she dreams about traffic because not only should she not have to deal with that anymore, but: she can't even complain about it to other people.

30: The only people who she would care enough to want forgiveness from she wouldn't want to do anything bad to them. She would feel guilty!!! But also, like, she could kill an enemy ninja and Not Really Care because, uh. That's life!! She reincarnated just fine so really if death is the end for you thats a skill issue. Also edo tensei exists so there is SOME form of ninja heaven, clearly.

[starsweepers]

15 Questions For The Writer

1. Are you named after anyone? nope! my mom just liked the name.

2. When was the last time you cried? lol i almost cried today because Hormones. but actually i'm not sure when? it's been a bit... i've done some "tear ups" but i can't recall the last time i actually cried cried. i want to imagine some time in november/october when work was killing me.

3. Do you have kids? does my cat count? she's like five kids in one little eight pound body.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yeah but mostly in person ( my sarcasm tends to get lost on people a lot in texting... ) or with people who know me very well or i have to include a stupid image with it to show people i'm being teasing. it's almost always teasing sarcasm.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? i'm not sure? it kind of depends on the situation i think. clothes, seeming age, hair, or physical state are probably the like... first things i really take from a distance since those are usually the most obvious standouts to tell you about the person you're seeing. when i'm looking at a picture or up closer, i actually tend to notice teeth and smile... sometimes skin condition. which i know all sounds really shallow and kind of is, but also i've battled a lot of teeth issues and skin issues so i think i just subconsciously look at those after staring at my own for so long.

6. What’s your eye colour? blue.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? i've never liked watching scary movies tbh. i like watching let's players do scary games and sometimes i like the plots of scary movies, but i never have much an interest in watching them. they just never clicked with me. especially if they're the sort with exceedingly over the top g.ore deaths. i don't mind tension and darkness ( criminal shows like svu for example ), but the main sorts of films to fall under the general trope of "scary movie" aren't really that sort usually. so happy endings by default i guess lol.

8. Any special talents? i can squish my nose flat against my face and i can bend my pinky finger without my ring or middle finger moving.

9. Where were you born? laupheim, germany!

11. Have you any pets? currently just my cat, mazey. growing up i had a cat, dog, a gerbil, and two hamsters.

12. What sport do you play/have played? oh gosh. i currently play soccer, indoor soccer, flag football, and tennis. i have also done swimming, horseback, softball, gymnastics, inner tube water polo, inner tube water basketball, street hockey, wall ball, basketball... i've tried a lot of things, i really love sports.

13. How tall are you? 5'9"

14. Favorite subject in school? idk. i enjoyed art and the marine biology classes i took. i hated math, but i was good at it. i had social studies teachers that were so much fun despite hating the studies... some good english teachers despite not liking most of the topics... uh. can i include college? robotics with legos was my favorite LMAO.

15. Dream job? i mean dream job would be getting to travel whenever i want and never have to pay for anything but not have to create content for it lol. but idk what i want job wise that is like. logical lol. i'm working a pretty cool gig right now i know a lot of people would love, but i'm not sure i would label it the dream position. i'm just kind of... vibing my way through life.

tagging: whoever might wanna do this... or whoever read all my answers tagged by: @yukikorogashi ( thankies! )

[the-void-writes]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Thank you @bloodlessheirbyjacques for the tag! I believe the rules are to answer the questions as one of your characters. I went with Jason to answer this one, and I’m sorry the responses are short 😅

1. Are you named after anyone?

Partly, though I’m not proud of it. My father chose my middle name after an actor he admired, Theodore King… Let’s just say that Mister King wouldn’t have taken kindly to people like me. I just tell people I’m named after my great grandfather, even though his name was Lawrence.

2. When was the last time you cried?

During my son’s check-up. He’s suffered so much, and the world keeps taking from him… He’s so thin, but he’s trying so hard to keep training and helping people. I couldn’t be prouder of him.

3. Do you have kids?

Several, depending on how you define “kids.” Legally, I have three godchildren and a stepson. If you’re counting children within my care, I have ten. And yes, I love them all dearly.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

If I’m particularly irritated with someone, then absolutely.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

How they treat people. I don’t tolerate rudeness or bullying, especially towards children.

6. What’s your eye color?

It’s a light blue, I believe. Henry keeps saying it’s like snow, and I’m starting to wonder if he’s colorblind somehow.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I’ve never cared for scary movies, unless they’re cheesy drive-in movies like my parents would have watched. Henry and I make fun of them all the time— He does the best imitations of all those actors.

8. Any special talents?

Do you count Freak abilities? It’s taken a while, but I’ve started to perfect the use of my wings. Flying is such a refreshing feeling.

9. Where were you born?

Born and raised in Hazelton. It’s much larger than Preston, more for the “elite.” I never cared for it that much.

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, mostly, though I did love gardening some time ago. Will’s starting to take to it, and I love helping him. I also enjoy teaching a bit, helping my patients learn history and science— and flying, definitely, especially with Will. He always tries to fly as close to the moon as possible.

11. Do you have any pets?

I had a cat named Quentin once. He hated my father, but he loved the rest of us. He always slept in my chair while I did schoolwork. I miss him sometimes.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Aside from the required classes for school, the most athletic thing I’ve done is training for Vesely. Honestly, I owe Rio my life for helping me learn how to fight.

13. How tall are you?

Somewhere around six feet, last I checked. Not the tallest in our company, thankfully, but much taller than Henry and our patients.

14. Favorite subject in school?

It’s a tie between English and History. I loved reading about ancient civilizations, but our English teacher always gave us the best books to read.

15. Dream job?

I actually love being a caretaker for my patients, even if the other employees can be a pain. These kids mean the world to me, and I’m happy to help them grow and learn and come into their powers.

I’ll try to tag as many as I can 😅: @circa-specturgia @tryingtimi @muddshadow @magefaery @pinespittinink @sergeantnarwhalwrites @jessica-writes22 @italiangothicwriteblr @agrimedena-drax @asher-orion-writes @sapphic-story @whimsyqueen

[roach-pizza]

Original Character Tag Game

Thanks for the tag: @artcoffeecats

Rules: Answer the questions as yourself or as an OC of your choice.

Ik i'm supposed to tag people, but I have no idea who to tag, so if you wanna do it, please do so and tag me so I can check out your OCs.

I'll answer as Rychell Farric, Meto Clarimont, and Orincia Yinquen. If you wanna know more about them, please check out my pinned post on my blog.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Meto: You could say my name is a family name.

Rychell *shrugging*: I think so, but I didn't pay attention when I was told. Why should I give a fuck about dead people?

Orincia *rolling his eyes*: Yes. Orincia is always given to the second born male child, in my case my name was legally changed when I was 16-17, after I came out as trans.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Meto *eyes shift nervously* I'm not going to answer that.

Rychell: About twenty years ago. Ghosts can't cry.

Orincia: Last night :) :) :)

3. Do you have kids?

Meto: I don't like childern.

Rychell: No unfortunately Orincia and I tried, but it was discovered I am infertile.

Orincia *side eyeing Rychell*: Unfortunately? Based on what you've done I think it's fortunate we don't have more or you running around.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Meto: *laughs* No. Never.

Rychell: Sometimes, depends on the person.

Orincia: I don't have the time, but sometimes when I'm upset.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Meto: If there's anything worth stealing.

Rychell *nods his head*: Yeah. Same.

Orincia *middle distance stare* *sigh*: Sometimes their chest, sometimes their torso. It depends on how much taller they are.

6. What's your eye color?

Meto: Emerald, but now they have a white pupil, and red ring around the iris.

Rychell: Dark purple, but now they are orange.

Orincia: All black.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Meto: What the fuck is a movie?

Rychell: I'm interested in that happy ending~

Meto: Count me in for one of those as well~~

Orincia *annoyed*: You two are not using these people as an audience. Behave.

8. Any special talents?

Meto: I can vanish without a trace.

Rychell: I've been known to give a good blo-

Orincia *outraged*: Rychell! Absolutely not. My talent is not killing this one.

Rychell: I'm dead, you can't kill me again.

Orincia: Ha. I can try if I wanted to.

9. Where were you born?

Meto: At home.

Rychell: I was actually born in another country. If it wasn't for my parents being literal rulers, it would have caused quite a problem.

Orincia: In a garden.

10. What are your hobbies?

Meto: Sewing if you can believe it.

Rychell *pulls down his collar exposing his neck which has thick stitches*: He did a good job.

Orincia: Collecting spells.

11. Have you any pets?

Meto: We weren't allowed to have pets, but my boarding school did have resident horses, and cats.

Rychell: I collected insects as a kid, does that count?

Orincia: It's too cold to keep any such animals.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Meto: I was forced to sign up for track.

Rychell: Does underground fighting count as a sport?

Orincia: No.

Rychell: Then no :)

13. How tall are you?

Meto: 6 feet

Rychell: Six foot two

Orincia:....5 feet.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Meto: I fucking hated school.

Rychell: That was so long ago. How long Orincia.

Orincia:...hm....150-200 years?

Rychell: Yeah, I don't remember.

Orincia *laughs*:....I don't ether actually.

15. Dream job?

Meto: Does being a battle mage count?

Rychell: You hated Helina.

Meto:...yeah true.

Orincia: King, but that's not really a dream, more like an expectation.

[aza-trash-can]

🧿🦴🎟🥝

Aight, let's do this! And Esprit, obviously. I think he's my only Star Wars oc any asks could really apply to anyways

🧿Do they have a superstition or belief? Such as "black cats bring bad luck", belief in ghosts, tarot, crystals, meditation, etc.

I think this is a common one for anyone in the medical field, but never, and I mean never, say it's quiet. He will personally chuck whatever is in his hands or nearby at the person who said it or was about to say it, and glare at them from across the medbay. The one and only time he acts like a scary medic.

🦴Have they ever broken a bone or had any sort of major injuries before? If so, what was their ailment?

Early in the war, he was crushed by shifting rubble while he was rescuing a trooper from the debris. He was distracted, couldn't react in time, and down he goes (he did manage to get the trooper out of the way). Broke a few ribs and his leg, lots of bruising and internal bleeding. He'd never needed to be in a bacta tank before, and now he definitely understand why people don't want to go in them. He still insists they do, because as gross as getting out of one feels, it feels a hell of a lot better than being dead.

🎟Say they go to a fair/carnival, what fair treat would they get to eat, and what attraction would they like the most?

Depends on the season/temperature of where he is. If he's somewhere hot, he'll get a snowcone (or two). He'll it it way too fast and get a brainfreeze. He practically system reboots, going completely still for a few seconds before scrunching his face. If it's colder, or somewhere where there's a constant breeze, he'll get funnel cake. Once again, he'll eat it way too fast. He'll burn his toungue and stop being able to properly taste things for the rest of the day.

As for rides, he likes a lot of the calmer ones, specifically ferris wheels. He likes being able to relax (and eat his food, if the ride operator lets him).

🥝Do they have a food allergy or food they hate?

For a food he hates, bugs (if they count as food), and generally anything slimy.

For food allergy, you know how people will have mild intolerances? Like they can eat pineapple, but they're technically allergic? He has that for meilooruns. Which sucks, cause he likes how they taste, but he technically shouldn't be eating them.

[abcdosaka]

Didn’t start looking for a job yet. Maybe tomorrow? I’ve been feeling so worried what people will think of me and just anxiety abt my parents bc honestly I’m so transactional in my relationship with them. I don’t know why. Have they taught me that? Idk where else it could’ve came from tbh even as a kid I remember being like “how abt we all just do our own chores/make our own tea/wash our own dishes” and my mom was like no you’re so selfish. like was that her manifesting this into me or did she spoil me too much as she said she did or what even caused that. Anyway point is I hate depending on them bc I feel like I owe them so much and I hate that.

Honestly had some thought abt romantic relationships. Can I just say I’m asexual and go. I don’t think I am is the thing but im genuinely afraid of connecting with people closely now. Even just a close friendship seems so unknowable to me lol. S actually kinda traumatized me. Idk if I’d say traumatize rly but what other word….had a significant effect on me. There you go that’s how you extend a sentence if you wanna meet the word count. But yeah and romantic relationships just seem so much more intense than friendships idk I just feel like I’m not strong enough for one like idk if I could be there for someone romantically and I’m so afraid of letting people down

Back to jobs. Idk if I’m qualified. I am I know I am but I’m just so scared of applying even though I’ve done it like hundreds of times at this point and had like 30 interviews. It’s always scary not knowing what you’re doing or where you’re life is going. Ik it’s not that hard but also I’m scared there won’t be that many listings I actually want or the pay will be shit or it’ll be a shit workplace. But idk I’ve faced all that before.

My parents rly do spoil me bc another thing is like they take care of me. I don’t have to cook I just have to contribute around the house a bit but even if I don’t they still care for me. I rlly need to step it up

The past two weeks were like my vacation I guess. I just don’t want it to end. I like doing nothing. But at the same time I hate it. It’s like I feel fine but there’s def something under the surface that just very sad and fearful and frustrated and stressed. If I could move out maybe I’d get motivation but it’s stupid to move out without a job. And I’m terrified of getting my license which I absolutely need to do at this point like it’s ridiculous how much time it has taken me and I’m embarrassed that I haven’t but every instructor I’ve had just made me hate it even though I’m like not even that bad at driving. I’m just worried abt parking bc no matter how much I practice I never seem to get it right