#i hate all the retail ones so here's a handmade one

[kageki-kokoro]

Rambley!!!

Rambley!!

[lonely-north-star]

jewelry maker mammon x retail worker mc

hi guys this is me being silly and projecting my work experiences onto my mc. She can suffer along with me.

(Note: Human world AU?? I guess?? Craft store silliness)

-But imagine Mammon who hand makes jewelry for fun. How did he start? No one knows. He owed Levi a favor and ended up helping to make friendship bracelets for a fan meetup as freebies

-Once he found out there was more than pony beads he was hooked

-Claims he was experimenting with patterns but each of his brothers have personalized/handmade charm straps (Asmo and Levi have them on their phones, the rest of the brothers have them clipped onto their keys or bags)

-His favorites are crystals/glass beads

-Prefers using seed beads for his work due to more color options

-He can spend over an hour in the strung bead and charm aisle respectively

-People mistake him for a worker because he's often fixing things without realizing. He's just so familiar with that aisle he knows where everything goes

-Gets grouchy and calls people out if they're making a mess while he's in the aisle (What are ya gonna do? Tell the manager on him? Good luck.)

"Ummm no, there's no one with white hair who works at this location. The only two people working right now are my cashier and I-"

"There IS. You need to have a talk with him. He has absolutely no customer service skills. I can't believe you hire people like that-"

"... Was this in the jewelry aisle?"

"YES! He was back there and rudely-"

"Ma'am, that's a customer. He doesn't work here."

-Mostly spends time admiring the beads at first because he doesn't have as much money as he'd like. Until he does a few commissions for friends of Levi, Asmo, and Satan

-They'll either buy the specific beads they want used and allow him to go ham and keep any extra (and tip him well ofc which surprises him)

-Or they send a certain amount and tell him to go ham and surprise them

-Beel once paid him to make matching sports charms for his team

-He tried setting up an online shop but then chickened out at the last second, so now it's just word of mouth

-MC at first was wary of him because he spent so much time there she thought he was stealing

-She would go in there to fix the aisle only to find it sparkling (awkwardly customer services him before walking away)

-Mammon wonders why all the employees keep asking if he needs help finding anything

-Hears him telling off a customer while passing by to do returns and is shocked af

-One day when he's buying beads the cashier asks what he's making and he excitedly explains his idea and shows off his phone charm

-MC was already up there packing an order and gets called over by the cashier

-Compliments him on the design and suddenly Mammon is confused because all this time he thought she hated him (she always side eyed him in the aisle and rarely spoke to him) (she's actually the most awkward manager ever)

"That looks really pretty! You made that?"

"U-Uh, yeah! Yeah, I did! Cool, ain't it?"

-After that she makes an effort to say hi and ask what he's making (if he's making anything)

-They end up getting along and he accidentally distracts her because they talk so much, but when she starts shuffling away, he knows she's being called for something

-The other managers were wary of him too until one day they started asking about his projects too

-One time he's there to pick up some markers for Levi as a favor and MC is there

-MC spends a full 30 seconds digging in her vest pockets for her keys

-Pulls out her phone, a box cutter, her walkie, a penny, a pen, all before her keys

-She finally pulls them out and there's no clip, no nothing, just a damn keyring

-He's mortified actually because how does she live like that

-Says this out loud without realizing

-Now they're both red faced and embarrassed

"My handheld is always in my right hand, I guess? I-I don't know, it's always been like that!"

-Her right pocket only holds her handheld. Nothing else. Maybe some order slips she needs to mark as picked up. No she will not change her ways, it's too late now and she hates change

-Decides he's going to make her a charm strap

-Realizes he doesn't know her favorite color (his mind blanks on what beads she'll linger on)

-Grabs the colors Levi asked for, and tries to think of an inconspicuous way to find out her favorite color. He's snapped out of his thoughts but her voice

"There's a buy 1 get 2 free sale, y'know"

"Eh?"

"You only have 13. You could get two more for free. You need groups of three."

"Ah. Uh, I'm getting these for my damn lil bro who sent me here and these are all he wanted-" *realization* "Choose something for me, would ya?"

"...Choose for you? What if he already has them?"

"Well now he'll have extra. Just pick your favorite color or something. Don't matter."

-Mammon's plan works because she ends up picking a royal blue color immediately. She picks another shade of blue that's lighter too after a long moment because "there's no gold, unfortunately. I like shiny things."

-Mammon feels like he found his soulmate

-Notices her name tag has some star stickers on it (and Halloween one's? In July? But they're faded)

-He asks around and posts online to see if anyone local wants a commission

-Gets more requests than he bargained for but he's saving every extra penny

-Saves up enough money to buy these gold star strung beads that MC always makes a point to fiddle with (they're on the bottom rung) and he feels silly for not noticing sooner

-Buys a pack of blue seed beads (is literally in the aisle trying to color match) and some diamond spacers (they're these round disc like one's) I am literally naming beads I see at work all the time, I'm about to make this thing irl

-He surprises her one day, or tries to. Turns out she's on vacation and won't be back for ten days

-He still shops for some commissions between (notices afternoon cashiers looks kinda miserable without her and the store gets messy)

-Except the bead aisle. That stays pristine.

-He's so excited the day she comes back, and is ready to surprise her with the charm

-But then she surprises HIM with a black and yellow woven bracelet and his heart stops

"Reminded me of you. Because of that feather clip you always have on?"

"...T-Thanks! Of course I'd be on y-your mind. I'm just that memorable, ain't I?"

-MC has never gotten so red so fast (he's concerned)

-He presents the gift he made to diffuse the situation because she might actually pass out

"Here. Made this for ya. So ya won't be digging for your damn keys so long. N-Not any other reason! ... I was gonna give it to you earlier but they said you were on vacation."

-She's literally speechless and staring at him in shock so long he thinks she hates it or he made a mistake

-She manages to stutter out a thank you and clips it to her keys immediately with the softest fucking smile he's ever seen

- Oh. Oh.

-She doesn't think he sees her when she's excitedly showing it to all her coworkers. Now she just has to feel around in her pockets for the beads and pull out her keys

-On his way out, after forgetting what he meant to buy in the first place, because he can't stop thinking about her smile, he sees the table for the hiring event they're holding next week...

AHAHA SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG, BUT I NEED AN OUTLET FOR MY WORK TROUBLES

why can't I have a cool customer who snaps at karens for me 😔 also the key thing is true because I don't wanna clip them onto my pants. Everything goes in the pockets.

pt 2 is Mammon getting hired /hj (if anyone actually wants part 2 LOLOL)

Edit: PART TWO BELOW YIPPEE

[whoiskt]

End-of-year questions for 2021 under cut

1: What did you do in 2021 that you’d never done before?

Lots of running related based ones so I'll just say the biggest accomplishment which was running a 5k, without hardly stopping to walk. Got my passport finally. Went the furthest East I've ever been. Finished and wore an entirely handmade cosplay. I worked 9 days in a row which was horrible. See, not all new experiences are good 😅

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My resolution was to stop saying "I think" so much, especially when I was completely sure. Confidence-based thing yet. I've gotten better but I still mess up.

What matters most to me going into the new year is getting out and doing stuff. I want to go out more and just do more of everything. So, my resolution will probably be something related. Thinking of making weekly goals even?

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nooope.

4: Did anyone close to you die?

Also, no!

5: What countries did you visit?

I stayed right where I am, thank you continued global pandemic.

6: What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?

(Leans into mic) a career, please. AND ALL THE FOO FIGHTERS MERCH (the character not the band)

7: What dates from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

You overestimate my memory.

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I made a friend :) and many people have told me that the pictures I took of them was their all-time fave which means so much to me 💕

9: What was your biggest failure?

Eh, probably not finding a job still but that's acting like I haven't given up which most of the time I have. I study and practice for interviews but I'm just not a smooth talker. Just isn't cutting it, I guess.

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?

I got sick 3 times this year!! THREE! And they were all pretty nasty. I hate working in retail, oh my god.

11: What was the best thing you bought?

My phone. Although it was a gift... But I was prepared to buy it myself.

I also rocked at Christmas gifting this year. 🤟 Hell yeah!

12: Whose behavior merited celebration?

I love my boyfriend so I'm always inclined to say Will. He's so nice to me 🥲

I also enjoy the people who stand up for themselves. One little example of this was there was a new boss at work who was helping a customer who swore at him and he shut it down like, "Ma'am I'm trying to help you but if you're going to use language like that then we're done here and you can shop elsewhere." Mad respect.

13: Whose behavior made you appalled?

So, so many people. Definitely the guy who was revealed to only being hanging out with us to get to this one girl, cheated on his girlfriend with her, and messed up our friend group. I'd legit slash his tires but I hold back.

14: Where did most of your money go?

Damn, I don't even KNOW sometimes.

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going back to in-person events. Vacation. Ugh, I just love being in hotels away from home. So magical.

16: What song will always remind you of 2021?

Probably the big Lil Nas X songs released this year.

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?

Probably happier? Bring quarantined was not fun. Probably about the same, idk. Also still probably about the same, haha. Richer in having more stuff, I guess?

18: What do you wish you’d done more of?

Chores. But in that way where I more wish they were done by past me rather than current me having to do them. Ya know?

19: What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sweat. 😅

20: How did you spend Christmas?

Usual Christmas with the family back home. I will never do anything different.

21: Did you fall in love in 2021?

I fall more in love everyday and it fucking rocks.

22: What was your favorite TV program?

Some things I enjoyed this year: Mob Psycho, Invincible, HunterxHunter, New Girl, Castlevania, Schitt's Creek, Demon Slayer, The Queen's Gambit, Attack on Titan, and Doctor Stone. Did a lot of rewatching this year too 😅

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yes 😒

24: What was the best book you read?

I haven't been reading books but I got Dune for Christmas so I'm gonna read that soon. I read Chainsaw Man and loved that, though.

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?

Not sure I branched it too much this year? Or I branched so much out and forgot to discover?

26: What did you want and get?

Foo Fighters merch increased from 2 extremely obscure keychain/figure, to now several things. I haven't actually bought any of them yet though.

27: What did you want and not get?

A jooooooob 😔

28: What was your favorite film of this year?

I have some catching up to do because quite a few films I wanted to see I accidentally missed their run in theaters. Spiderman was pretty good. I'm glad Tom Holland finally got his own movie since the previous Spiderman movies were more about Ironman than him. I also enjoyed Free Guy.

29: What one thing that made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Stone Ocean announcement and first batch of episodes dropped.

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2021?

Target apparel. Pretty much exclusively. 😂 Using that discount.

31: What kept you sane?

Foo Fighters animated. Vacation planning. Periodically melting down. Socializing (even when I didn't want to).

Going for walks/runs.

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

None but I keep seeing the actor who plays Winston in New Girl everywhere in ads and I scream every time. Not for the actor. For Winston.

33: What political issue stirred you the most?

Hm, well abortion access is back under threat this year. Worker's rights. Vaccination. Fatphobia. Transphobia. I don't know I get stirred by a lot of things it's probably not good for me mentally.

34: Who did you miss?

I miss many people. Some I'm not sure I know. Will's in the other room right now and I miss him.

35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021.

It's all about connecting with people who are open to growth. It's about consistently dedicating yourself to personal change. I suck at that but it's true. (Kinda knew this already but! Sometimes you gotta learn a lesson multiple times.)

Not the best year for my social anxiety. It is deadass so hard to become my friend right now because I don't trust anyone. What I realized about closing myself off to people is it doesn't hurt any less when the "betrayal" comes. It doesn't feel like a bullet dodged, it's still a wound.

So, it's not about avoiding people. It's about finding the right ones.

36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

[collecting-stories]

I’m Pine-ing for You

A/N: The second chapter of my Christmas fic.

Christmas Mingle Masterlist

_* ◦ ❅ . ❄︎ * ∙ ◦ . _

Ariana Grande crooned over the tinny radio in the gift shop as Audrey browsed, trying to maximize her day off and finish the last of her Christmas shopping. It was futile, she knew that much, but she had bundled up for the cold weather and headed out to walk around Main Street, hoping some kind of good would come from searching. Even if all it yielded was a new candle for her apartment. Most of her family was generic enough to settle for giftcards from Target but she still went out, as if she would find something that anyone would appreciate more than the basic $25 card. 

Just like every year though, she was browsing more for herself than anyone else, halfway through the display of handmade ceramic mugs, when she heard Jeff's familiar timbre. She'd only gone on one date with him so far but it didn't matter, she could probably pick out his voice in a line up. It was deep and not to raspy and she could've listened to him talk forever. But now that she thought about it, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to "run into" him here. And when she looked over toward the door she realized he was with his son. She hadn't seen any pictures of Charlie but if that tall-for-his-age kid beside Jeff wasn't his son she'd be shocked. 

Audrey was in the back of the store, not poised to sneak out without having to walk right passed him. If there was one thing she truly hated it was running into people, something that happened a lot more frequently in her life now that she worked retail. There was nothing that compared to being trapped by an old school acquaintance as she rang up their groceries. She thought about turning and heading further into the store but there was no pretending that she hadn't seen Jeff, especially as her hand paused mid-grabbing a mug off the shelf, when he called her name. 

"Christmas shopping?" Jeff asked, stepping up beside her in the narrow aisle of the shop. 

"Well," Audrey looked over at him, "I tell myself that but honestly, I'm just shopping for me." 

"Nothing wrong with that," he replied and Audrey cracked a smile.

"You're very agreeable, you know that?" She pointed out. He'd been the same on their date, agreeable on all fronts. About her divorce, her disinterest in her current job, her lack of enthusiasm for the Christmas season. 

"Maybe we just agree on things?" He suggested. 

"Well then, I know who to call for a second opinion." Audrey replied, glancing over to the small section of kids toys, Jeff's spitting image crouched on the ground looking over a puzzle, "Is that Charlie?" She didn't know if day-after-the-first-date was too soon to meet his son but it wasn't like he was formally introducing them so she didn't feel too bad about asking. 

"Yeah that's Charlie," Jeff nodded, looking over, "kiddo's supposed to be helping me shop for other people's presents but it looks like he's picking out a few things to add to his list."

"Kid after my own heart," Audrey teased. "I'm not sure I could be of any actual help, Charlie and I seem to share a shopping gene, but I could lend a hand picking out some things if you want?" She wasn't sure that inviting herself to spend the afternoon with him was really an appropriate, normal thing to do, but she couldn't help herself. The words had come tumbling out of her mouth faster than she could think them. Something about Jeff just seemed to make the temptation of spending her day off completely by herself pale in comparison to spending the day with him. She couldn't remember a time when she felt this way about someone, even with Chris, even in the beginning when everything was new and supposedly exciting, she sought out moments when she could be alone. 

"Alright, but I have two stipulations," Jeff replied, picking up one of the mugs to look it over, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I take the credit for all the gifts, and you provide the coffee."

"I provide the coffee? How is that fair? What are you providing?" Audrey said.

"The company." He shrugged as if it was totally obvious, Audrey laughing out loud, turning more toward him when the shopkeeper looked over at the sudden sound of them disturbing the ambiance of the store. 

"It's a deal." She kept her voice down as she moved further down the aisle, pointing out a sun-catcher that was hanging on display. "Anyone?"

"Not even close." He replied. "I'm gonna rethink this deal if you can't hold up your end of the bargain." 

"To be fair, you haven't given me any information to go on." Audrey pointed out, still holding onto the sun-catcher, contemplating a place for it in her own apartment. 

Before Jeff could say anything else Charlie had found him, clutching a puzzle box to his chest he came over, stepping in front of his dad to show off his find. "Look, it's 1000 pieces...I've never done 1000 pieces before." 

Audrey smiled, mouthing '1000 pieces' when Jeff caught her eye passed his son. He grinned and nodded, giving in to Charlie's request. 

"Alright, we'll put it aside for break." He offered, taking the box from Charlie, "but you're supposed to be looking for something for something for your grandma."

"I am!" Charlie insisted.

"In the toy area?" 

When Audrey snickered at Jeff's comment Charlie turned to look at her, a wide smile on his face at the sight of the stranger. "Hi." 

"Hey." She greeted, smiling at the young boy. 

"I'm Charlie," He introduced himself, holding his hand out to shake hers. 

Audrey took the seven year old's hand, shaking as she introduced herself, "Audrey." 

Never one to miss anything, Charlie had noticed the look that his dad had given Audrey immediately, even as he was talking about the puzzle that he wanted. 

"How do you know my dad?" He asked blatantly.

"I, uh..."

"Audrey's a friend of mine," Jeff supplied, putting his hand on his son's shoulder to get his attention. 

Charlie leaned his head back, looking up at Jeff and giving him a toothy grin. "Can she shop with us?" He asked. 

"Well, don't ask me." Jeff replied. 

"Can you shop with us?" Charlie asked, looking back at Audrey, "I need help picking a gift for my nana."

"I would love to help you."

Charlie stepped away from his dad, grabbing Audrey's hand to lead her away from Jeff and toward the back of the store. Audrey glanced back over her shoulder at Jeff, biting her lip as she smiled at him. Charlie was a well adjusted kid for his age, comfortable talking to adults happy to spend time hanging out with Jeff. He knew there were enough people in his son's life, family included, that pressured him about the way Charlie behaved. They wanted a kid that was less used to spending the majority of his week with his dad and they wanted Jeff to be more interested in dating and less interested in fathering his kid. 

His mom had been thrilled, the night before, to babysit her grandson when she heard that Jeff had a date. It had been since his late wife passed away that he had gone out and before then she was the only one he had dated in years. 

-

"It's just been so long," she had lamented, following her son into the kitchen, attempting a whisper as she spoke. "You deserve to be happy-"

"I am happy ma," Jeff promised, writing out any information she might need while he was gone. Phone numbers, the name of the restaurant he was going to, Charlie's pre-bed schedule. 

"Happy with someone in your life. Someone who can help you raise Charlie. I know you don't agree but, he needs a mother figure."

"Charlie doesn't need a 'mother figure' and it's one date ma, I'm not gonna marry this woman." 

"You don't know that." Jeff's mom replied, adamant on her stance about the date. She had been trying to convince Jeff to get back into dating for a few years now. She knew it was hard, losing his wife so quickly after Charlie was born, and she felt like she had waited an appropriate amount of time but, around two years ago, she had started dropping hints. Mentions here and there about women that she knew from church or even just 'eligible singles' that she saw at  the grocery store. She had very little in the way of requirements.

"Please just watch him for the night and don't read too much into this?" 

"Is it so wrong to be optimistic?" She asked, "it's been a long time since you've even considered dating." 

"I'll call you on my way home, I'll just be down the street at the brewhouse."

-

Audrey crouched down so she could get a better look at the bottom shelf of the display where Charlie was checking out a few different glass blown ornaments. She reached for one, a red teardrop shaped ornament that was crackled and, when she held it up to the light, glistened. 

"That's really pretty!" Charlie exclaimed, taking it from her when she handed it over to him. 

"I think so too," Audrey replied, "what do you think about it as a gift?"

"I don't know," he pouted, nose scrunching as he inspected the ornament in greater detail, "dad, would nana like this?" 

"Is there a pink one in there?" Jeff asked, looking over from the display of candles he'd been going through. He liked everything about Christmas aside from having to buy gifts for people. Charlie was easy, he always knew what his son wanted. It was everyone else that gave him a headache. "She'll probably love that."

Charlie dug through the box of ornaments, careful that nothing broke, successfully pulling out a pink one, "I found a pink one!"

Audrey took the red one back, turning it over in her hand once more before putting it back in the box. 

"You should get that one." Charlie pointed out, "you could put it on your tree."

"Oh gosh," Audrey laughed, "I actually don't have a tree." She confessed. 

Putting up a tree had been the least of her worries this year, not even a table top had made it's way into her house though she'd spent plenty of time on pinterest and instagram scrolling through the holiday decorations of influencers who's lives appeared much more together than her own. 

"No tree?" Charlie looked absolutely offended at the thought of anyone not having a tree for Christmas, "dad! Dad!" 

"Yeah bud?" Jeff asked, tearing his attention away from a case of handmade necklaces that he shouldn't have been looking through so  early on in knowing Audrey when it was clearly her  he had in mind. 

"Audrey doesn't have a tree," the disbelief, even as he repeated what he already knew, was on par with the discovery of Santa's fraudulence. "We can get you a tree?" He reasoned, turning back to look at her, wide, eager eyes. 

"I really don't have a lot of ornaments." Audrey admitted. 

The first time she had told Chris that she needed space they had both assumed that she would be back within the month. But then two months passed and three months and she drove passed the house but it felt foreign to her. So she said it again, she needed space, mountains of it, years of it, more space than he could ever give her. And when she set foot inside the house for the last time to take what she deemed hers from a short lifetime of theirs, she left all but a shoebox of decorations. 

"Oh well," Jeff was smiling at her like whatever he said she'd be hanging on, "you happen to be in the presence of the best ornament chooser in the entire world." He pointed to Charlie as he spoke, indicating it was the seven year old who possessed all the expertise of Christmas decoration. 

"Really?" She attempted her best look of skepticism as Charlie nodded his head in agreement with his father. 

"Dad buys me a new ornament every year that I pick out all on my own." He replied as proof of his skill. 

Audrey agreed, unable to say no to Charlie. He was too sweet and she was enjoying spending time with him and Jeff too much. It was arguably some sort of honeymooning phase, she reasoned, that had her this invested in a guy that she had only been on one date with but she couldn't help it. This was just a for the holidays thing, a see where this goes, nothing special, thing that didn't have too mean too much. She didn't have to read too much into every look and every touch, didn't have to take everything so seriously, and still she was eagerly agreeing to spending the rest of her afternoon with Jeff and Charlie. 

"I gotta tell you Charlie," Audrey said as she walked through the Christmas tree lot with him, "I am no tree expert. I haven't had a real tree since I was a kid." 

"That's okay," he promised, "I'm the best tree chooser there is." 

Jeff walked just behind the pair, listening to his son discuss the important parts of the tree and how to pick the best one, talking with such authority that his bullshitting was almost believable. Once Charlie got started on a topic it was nearly impossible for him to stop and he loved showing off whatever knowledge he might have, be it minimum or not. 

"Expert ornament chooser and expert tree chooser?" Audrey asked, glancing back at Jeff with amusement. Jeff grinned back at her. 

"What can I say?" Charlie replied, "Christmas is the best time of the year."

"I can't argue with that."

"Besides, if you don't get a tree then how is Santa going to bring you presents?" Charlie asked, a look of distress washing over his features as his eyes met hers. The thought had just occurred to him and yet it was a troubling one.

"That explains the lack of gifts the last few years...I think Santa is still delivering all my presents to my parents' house." She teased. 

"Do you live by yourself?" Charlie asked, intrigued by the new development. 

If Jeff was eager to learn more about Audrey than Charlie was tenfold. He asked questions about her job and her house and what her favorite Christmas activity was. Jeff wasn't sure if it was just her being too polite to ignore Charlie's questions or if she was truly interested in what he had to say but she listened and chatted. Dating hadn't been something that Jeff had kept at the top of his to-do list and he definitely hadn't introduced too many people to his son. A few close friends, those that knew him before his wife passed away, but no one that he seriously considered spending his life with. Not that he was thinking that far in advance now but getting to know Audrey was definitely something he wanted to continue doing. 

The three of them circled the tree lot more times then Jeff felt necessary, scouring rows of evergreens that he was sure they had already examined until Charlie finally spotted the spruce that he wanted. He let out a shout of exclamation at the sight and broke out in a dash as if someone else might discover the tree before he could reach it. "This one!" He announced, standing in front of the tree and waving his arms to draw their attention to it.

"That one is..." Audrey looked at the tree on display, imagining the trip up the stairs and sheer mass of it sitting in her small apartment, "big." It seemed like the only logical adjective to describe the tree she was staring at.

"Big trees are the best trees." Charlie insisted, "you can get the most ornaments on." 

"Maybe you can, I'm still lacking in the ornament department." Audrey replied. A shoebox full was not enough for a tree that was threatening six feet tall. She'd been hoping that the seven year old would settle on something more akin to a tabletop but he seemed determined that the green giant was going to be part of Audrey's Christmas. 

"We can get you more ornaments." 

"Don't fight it," Jeff teased, coming up beside her. His hand fell to the small of her back, turning just slightly toward her so that he could whisper in her ear, away from Charlie's heightened hearing, "he's never gonna give in."

"I think I've already figured that one out." Audrey replied, looking at Jeff, unable to stop herself from smiling. 

Tree decided on, Charlie was as determined as ever to find ornaments that would go perfectly. He insisted that they not be too uniform, complaining, at seven, about the odd need for trees on television shows to have a ribbon woven through them. The strong opinions he had about Christmas were entertaining, to say the least, and Audrey didn't fight them. She had been content without all the fuss, happy to let Christmas happen the same way that it did every year but now she found herself letting Jeff haul a tree up her steps and into her apartment.

Charlie seemed as enamored by her tiny house as he did by her, rushing to the window to look out on the street that he'd walked around on a hundred times. "Dad!" He called, face close to the window pane, unbothered by the hint of cold that seeped in through the the old wood and glass. 

Jeff let the tree slide off his shoulder, leaning the tree that was as tall as he was against his chest as he looked over at his son, "what's up Charlie?"

Audrey locked the door behind them, bags in one hand as she kicked her shoes off. She had stopped for some ornaments along the way, practically clearing out her Target's Christmas section. Marci had eyed her suspiciously as she checked out, fully aware of Audrey's disdain for the holiday season. She had ignored her co-worker though, rushing through self-checkout as quickly as possible so that she could avoid making Jeff and Charlie wait too long outside of her apartment. 

"Look!" Charlie called, waving Jeff over as if the tree wasn't heavy and unstable. "You can see Main Street."

"You should stay for dinner and see it at night with all the lights." Audrey replied, setting the bags down on the couch as she went over to help Jeff, "I can't believe you guys stopped and got a tree stand too."

"You can't have a tree without a tree stand." Jeff shrugged, "that seemed pretty obvious. Tree, tree stand, ornaments..."

"Yeah, yeah, alright." Audrey laughed, setting up the stand. 

While Jeff did most of the assembly in getting the tree in the stand and cutting it loose from the netting, Charlie rummaged through the bags of ornaments, sorting them into groups that he decided went together. The tree didn't take as long as Audrey thought it would but it did look a lot better in her apartment then she had first suspected when Charlie had spied it in the lot. Though it blocked a decent amount of her window view, the ornaments looked pretty with the lights and she had even brought out the shoebox of special ones that she kept in her bedroom. 

"Some of these are pretty old, they belonged to my great grandma." Audrey explained, setting the box on the coffee table and opening it up for Charlie to see. 

"This one is so cool!" He held up a blue bobble, handpainted with a horse and carriage in the snow. "My grandma got me an ornament decorating kit and I painted one with a Christmas tree." 

"I bet it looks really awesome," Audrey replied, taking the ornament from him so she could hang it up a little higher. 

"You should come over to see it!" Charlie looked thrilled at his idea, turning to his father in excitement, "what do you think dad? Could Audrey come over soon?"

Jeff looked over Charlie's head to Audrey, their eyes meeting as Audrey smiled. It seemed a natural occurrence when she was around Jeff though she didn't want to let herself think too hard on the matter. 

"I don't see why not." Jeff finally said. 

"Well, since you're here now, what should we get for dinner tonight?" Audrey asked, taking another ornament from Charlie to hang up. 

"Pizza!" He replied without hesitation. 

"Pizza it is," She agreed, stepping away from the tree to grab her phone, "any toppings?"

-

Dinner was served on the coffee table, the three of them sitting on the couch to watch TV, Charlie choosing It Happened on 5th Avenue as his Christmas movie of choice. He sat between them, enthralled in the film, announcing favorite scenes just before they happened. Audrey had steered clear of cliche Christmas films like It's a Wonderful Life or Love Actually for a while, longer that she had been single. She never cared for them and always found them cheesy and ridiculous. The leads falling in love all within a week, enamored with each other as if there was no one else in the world. As if falling in love at Christmas solved all their problems. But here she was, watching this old black and white film and actually enjoying it. 

It was nearly three quarters of the way through when Jeff felt Charlie slump against him more that he glanced down, realizing that his son had fallen asleep. Audrey seemed to pick up on Charlie's sleeping around the same time, pausing the film and asking if wanted to let Charlie nap in her bed. "Unless you two need to get home?" 

"We can stay a little while longer," Jeff replied, reluctant to go as it was. 

While he carried Charlie into the bedroom, laying him on the bed and covering him with a blanket, Audrey cleared away the pizza and closed the front window. She grabbed a bottle of wine from the cabinet and two glasses, meeting Jeff back in the living room.

 "Wine?"

"What've you got?" Jeff asked, taking the bottle from her.

"Just a red, it's from a subscription I get every month." She replied, "I could be paying for a gym but-"

"Wine is better than a gym," Jeff concluded, heading back to the couch with her. She let him pour the glasses, a little heavy handed though so was she. "I was thinking about what you said, about looking for something that wasn't working at Target."

"My glamorous part time job...what about it?" Audrey asked, taking a sip of her wine. 

"The art teacher at Charlie's school is going on maternity leave and I heard they posted the job online. I'm not trying to overstep or anything, just saw it and thought of you." 

"Well, I'm flattered that you thought of me. I'll look into it." She replied, "part of me would love it, honestly, and the other part is terrified to actually do something like that. I feel everything has moved really slowly but quickly at the same time for me." 

"I know the feeling well. Don't feel like you need to consider anything just cause I mentioned it." Jeff replied, "take everything at your own pace."

"I'll never move forward if I do that." Audrey admitted. 

"Well hey, nothing needs to be decided now...I mean, Christmas break is right around the corner."

"That's right, you have finals for your semester don't you?" Audrey asked. She wasn't sure why it hadn't occurred to her the entire time that they were out shopping or looking for a tree but it was as if she suddenly remembered that Jeff had actual work when class hours ended. 

"Coming up, yeah." He nodded. "I'll be spending the next four days prepping and grading essays." 

"I'll trade you bitchy, impatient customers who think I'm secretly stashing all the stuff they want so they can't find it?" Audrey offered.

"Now that you mention it, the papers are fine." He replied, smiling at her as he took a sip of wine, "so this party coming up? It's your co-worker's?"

"Co-worker/best friend." 

"How did that come about...if you don't mind my asking?" 

"I guess, all my other friends are friends with  Chris too you know? They knew us when we were dating, as our relationship progressed, they went to our wedding. When I left him and it wasn't for any "good" reason, I think they felt like I was overreacting." Audrey admitted. Even more than leaving and telling Chris she was never coming home, she could remember the distinct heartache that had followed her falling out with her best friend. The way Leah had accused her of being dramatic and foolish and told her that she was blowing things out of proportion. "I mean, he didn't cheat on me, he wasn't some awful guy...a little controlling sometimes but not to the magnitude of telling me what I could and couldn't do."

"If you don't love someone, you don't love someone. You can't stay in a relationship just because they're 'not a bad guy'." Jeff replied. 

"I feel bad telling you about all this honestly," she confessed, "I'm trying to divorce my husband, you lost your wife, that's...I feel silly having such superficial problems."

"It's not superficial." He reassured. "I met Hannah in my early 30's after I had broken up with a woman who wanted me to propose to her."

"Oh no," Audrey laughed, "you were one of those!"

Jeff nodded, "thought I didn't want commitment, I think I just, didn't feel like I knew what I wanted. But, I met Hannah through friends and we took things slow until she basically told me to propose or get out-"

"I like her."

"She was great. You know, it's hard...she passed away around the holidays. It would've been our first Christmas with Charlie." He replied, "I thought about not celebrating...took me weeks to put up a tree. He won't remember any of that but, it felt like something I had to do." 

"For Charlie or for yourself?" 

"Both of us, I guess. I didn't want him to feel like Christmas had this awful connotation, you know? I didn't want him to grow up feeling like he couldn't celebrate and he had to be sad." 

"When I moved out of my house with Chris it was just, easier not to celebrate. It was just me and it felt ridiculous to decorate this little apartment." Audrey admitted, looking over at the tree in front of the window, "seeing the tree up though, I kinda missed that."

"If you let Charlie come back again he'll probably put gifts under it for you just to make sure it looks official." 

"Charlie is awesome, you have an amazing kid." 

"Thank you, I think so most of the time." Jeff laughed. 

9 Days Until Christmas

"I gotta say, the cowboy boots are a touch I wasn't expecting." Jeff laughed as Audrey stepped out the front door of her apartment. She did a twirl, showing off the outfit she was wearing beneath her plaid coat. 

"Would you believe me if I told you they were a Footloose impulse buy after high school graduation?" Audrey asked. 

-

Not everything feels like something else, but holding on to a pair of red cowboy boots that went with nothing in her wardrobe simply because of the sentimentality felt a lot like being stuck in place. When she came back for her things, letting herself into the old house with two suitcases that her mom had been reluctant to give away ("can't you just work it out? Have you even tried?"),  she had almost left them. Sitting there on the bottom of her  shoe rack, accumulating the dust that was inevitable for something so rarely worn, she had thought of letting them go too. Was it symbolic? To leave both the boots and Chris behind? But she could bring herself to leave them the way she had left her marriage so she carried them out to the car and put them in the front seat and then, three years and five months later she wore them to a Kacey Musgraves concert with Cady. 

"Can't say I'm a fan of the film." Jeff admitted. 

"Is that your way of telling me that you don't recognize Ariel's iconic red cowboy boots?" And now she wore them again. Red cowboy boots paired with black stockings, a jean skirt that fit the persona of Midwest Christmas she was trying to pull off, and a sweater that was cuter then it was ugly. Pink with white pompoms and a sequined Jolly Old Saint Nick. Cady's holiday party would inevitably be as country as she wished she was and Audrey had every intention oof dressing for it. 

"It is." Jeff replied, "but you look beautiful." Audrey had mentioned her best friend's proclivity for all things Tennessee Christmas but that had done little to influence Jeff's outfit. Dark jeans and a cable knit sweater with boots. Nothing entirely special in the outfit, and Audrey had never been one to give men's fashion too much thought, but he certainly looked good. "I feel like I should've dressed the part more." He took Audrey's hand in his as they made the short trek across the street and down to the small parking lot a block away. 

"That's okay, when we inevitably sneak away from the party because, god love her but Cady's 'Yeehaw Christmas' is a little more than I think I can bear, you'll look like a normal person and I'll look-"

"Like you're in middle school?" Jeff teased. 

"Exactly like that," Audrey replied.

Comical as it was, Yeehaw Christmas was the perfect describer for the party that they walked into. Cady had outfitted her shared apartment with decorations that looked as if they had been purchased at Cabellas or maybe just a Dollar General. Cady's wasn't the only party a friend had invited Audrey to this season but it was the only one she committed to, at least, making an appearance at. Her other friends were friends with Chris and she knew he would be there too, as if it was all some elaborate plot to convince her that maybe she had made a mistake when she decided that they no longer fit in each other's lives. 

"You made it!" Cady shouted across the room, rushing over to wrap Audrey in a hug. Ten years made little difference to either of them. The idea of meeting your best friend at a retail job seemed like something that truly only happened on TV but Cady had been the  lifeboat back to normalcy after the heartache. "Oh god, I'm so glad you came!" 

"I said I was." Audrey insisted, pulling away from Cady. She was standing slightly in front of Jeff and when her eyes met Cady's she shifted her gaze subtly to the side, a look that screamed, 'I brought him'. 

Cady's eyes shifted over to Jeff, brushing her blond hair back as she looked up at him. He was taller than her. Like a tower. He was taller than Audrey and she was relatively tall, or so everyone always felt the need to say when she wore heels. Before she could say anything Audrey continued, introducing them. "Cady, this is Jeff. Jeff, my best friend Cady. 

"Thanks for letting me tag along." Jeff replied, handing over the bag that contained a small hostess invitation. "Audrey said you don't do wine."

Cady took the bag from him, pulling out a bottle of  grey goose. "Thank you! This is the best Christmas present ever!" She joked.

More partygoers came, allowing Audrey and Jeff a break from Cady as they made their way over to the kitchen and the counter space that was doubling as a bar for the evening. There were cheap flavored vodkas, tequila, whiskey, gin, and some bottles of red wine stuffed into the small space between the sink and the fridge. 

"Guess we have our pick?" Audrey asked, looking over her shoulder at Jeff. 

"I'll stick with the whiskey, seems like a safe option." He replied, "only cause I've heard of the brand." 

"What? No peppermint mocha vodka?" Audrey said, trying and failing not to sound completely grossed out by the suggestion of the flavor. 

Jeff laughed, "tell you what, if you do a shot I will do a shot." 

Audrey grabbed two shot glass sized red solo cups, never one to back down from a challenge, and poured the vodka in them. Truthfully, she just wanted to see him drink something as ridiculous  as Christmas themed vodka simply because he struck her entirely as a classy kind of drinker, even his beer on their first date had felt superior to all those cheap brands she'd snuck in high school. He was game for just about anything though, proving it as he kicked back a shot of the sweet liquor, feeling the faint burn of it down the back of his throat. 

"Can't say I love feeling like I just tossed a whole pack of spearmint gum in my mouth and lit it on fire." Jeff commented, sticking his tongue out for a second as if that would get rid of the taste. Audrey coughed around her shot, almost losing it but swallowing at the last second. She gagged and shook her head furiously at the tiny cup in her hand. 

"No." She finally said. "No, that was terrible."

"It was bad."

"It was...oh god, I need something after that." She replied. 

Jeff shifted bottles around until he found a decent red nestled in the back. "How's this?" He grabbed two cups from the stack, filling them a little more than he would a wine glass. 

"Works for me."

She took his arm, pulling him passed the fridge and a little further into the kitchen as people came in to grab drinks. Jeff moved with her, turning so his back was to the other couple and the two of them were in their own little corner. Audrey looked passed him, watching as a few more people came and went from the kitchen. 

"I really didn't feel like I was going to feel old being here but I totally do." Audrey muttered. 

"You feel old?" Jeff scoffed, "how do you think I'm feeling right now?" He brushed his hand through his hair to draw attention to the strands of gray there among the black. 

"Well, don't worry, I have no plans to stay the whole time," Audrey whispered as if someone would overhear her, "I love Cady but she can go forever if she's drunk enough and I definitely think she's on her way there."

-

Jeff opened the door to Charlie's room, the dinosaur nightlight in the corner glowing and painting the room a dim yellow. The party had been a short lived experience followed by a quick meal at a diner down the street from Cady's apartment. He and Audrey had sat there in the booth against the window, the conversation easy over burgers and fries. 

It had been fun, good even, to go out with Audrey and go to a stupid holiday party. Everything was fine until he walked in the front door. His mom was in the living room watching an old  Christmas special, a million questions on the tip of her tongue when he came inside. He'd managed to dodge most of them, skirting around details and specifics as he rushed her out the door and promised that he'd see her soon. He wasn't completely sure that he was ready to divulge details about Audrey to his mother. 

Back in his own room, Jeff sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling off his sweater and undershirt and tossing them over to the hamper. His eyes landed on the picture that sat on the dresser, the same picture he'd looked at a million times in the last seven years. It was a picture of him and Hannah on their wedding day, close enough that the bottom of her dress was cut off but it didn't matter, he could remember everything about that moment. That day had felt like a godsend, the moment in his life when everything felt like it was going right and he was finally on the right path. Jeff stood up, crossing the room and taking the picture off the dresser to look at it closer. 

Audrey popped into his unprompted as he stared down at the picture of his late wife. Was moving on something that he really wanted? He'd thought about it before but it never felt like the right time. He never felt ready to let go of Hannah's memory or the love he had for her. But he knew there was something different about Audrey. He didn't feel so much like loving her would be giving up Hannah. Something he hadn't felt once in the last seven years. Something he felt like he had to hold onto. 

[dulwichdiverter]

Secondhand style

Words Katie Allen; Photo Lima Charlie

 Step inside Mabel boutique on Melbourne Grove, and you enter a space a mile away from the hectic pace of modern life. Racks of vintage clothes tempt you to try on a flowered frock here or a cashmere cardigan there. Piles of patchwork quilts and baskets of handmade soap invite you to have a rummage and take home something pretty.

Tucked down this quiet side street, Mabel has been a go-to destination for lovers – both male and female – of keenly priced vintage clothing for the last six years. It’s the spot to pick up not only an outfit for the weekend but something to treasure for years to come.

Owner Julie Foulcer, who says the shop’s reputation has spread through word of mouth, describes her wares as “mostly secondhand, what I think are wearable, normal things. I always want to be priced around £20, nothing much more than that if I can.”

She elaborates: “I don’t even like saying [the word] vintage. I’m really happy with anything that’s a nice [garment], it could have been from last week, it doesn’t matter, I just want it to be wearable.”

A love of secondhand clothing has run through Julie’s life like a ribbon through broderie anglais. She was born in the village of Chilham in Kent and even as a child, she was won over by the “excitement” of rifling through jumble sales to find the gems. She laughs that even as her sister, 13 years older than her, was putting her clothes in, “I’d go and buy them all”.

“You only expect [to find] one of anything. That’s the exciting thing. It takes the indecision out of it because you just know – I’ve got to get that!” she explains.

“When you do ‘proper’ shopping, the worst thing is you’ve got to try [the clothes] on and look in the mirrors and it’s the most depressing experience. I hate it. But with secondhand shopping, it never feels like that. I don’t know what the difference is, you just don’t feel as exposed in the mirrors and the room and comparing yourself to other people in the same thing, in different sizes.”

She always had an “eye” for finding secondhand treasures, but for a long time worked in different arenas, including as an engineer for British Telecom and working nights at a local psychiatric ward. Tellingly, her favourite memory of working for BT was: “You could wear really good Eighties suits from the boot fair. I had a salmon pink one.”

And then about 20 years ago she had the thought: “I could do this. So I went to some boot fairs for about a fortnight [to buy stock], and then opened a shop up. I didn’t think about it at all. I just got things that I thought were nice. And it worked. Ignorance is complete bliss.”

She owned shops around Faversham and Herne Bay, and was then asked to sell clothes at a house party in Camberwell. It proved so popular that she was invited to take over a space at what was Grace & Favour on North Cross Road. “It’s always just happened. I couldn’t do you a business plan,” she laughs.

Despite still being a Kent girl – she lives in Whitstable – Julie loves having her own premises in East Dulwich. Her favourite part of retail is that “People tell me their stories, all day. It’s like, if you’re really miserable, [and] you think you can’t talk to anyone – just that little interaction in a shop can turn your day around. I really like that.”

Mabel is known for its carefully curated stock, particularly focusing on beautiful natural fibres. “If things feel nice, you want to wear them.” Despite her own love of wearing secondhand, she says: “I always do let go of things. I always think if somebody gets that [particular amazing item] they’ll really like it, and then they’ll come back!”

When she first started out, she refined her rummaging skills at car boot sales, and she speaks about those days with nostalgia: “you could get up at 4am, race around on a Sunday morning, and get about 10 massive sacks full of things, spend hundreds of quid… I used to go with my babies strapped to me – feeding them and racing around fields.”

Today, she finds the treasure hunt for good stock is getting harder, especially as she has been ill recently. “I find I have to put more and more effort into buying because the quality is getting worse and worse. I have to buy three or four days a week now and it’s quite gruelling hard work.”

She gets most of her finds at recycling centres – and is aghast at the quality of modern clothes. “Ninety-nine per cent of the stuff [is horrid],” she says. “It’s so sad. I think people are used to chucking [clothes now], it’s really upsetting.”

Many vintage sellers import from abroad. While Julie admits that it’s a more “reliable” method compared to digging through recycling centres – which can be erratic – “you haven’t got the control then over what you’re picking out. You’re just getting a thousand checked shirts, it’s not as much fun.”

Mabel and shops like it are the perfect antidote to fast fashion and thoughtless consumerism. And plenty of people are desperate for well-made, unique garments that they would never find in the high street behemoths. Her bestsellers are silk, wool and – Mabel’s speciality – cashmere. “Round here, I don’t know if it’s the place, people do seem to like proper things.”

Perhaps the building itself has something to do with it. It has heritage – the landlord’s mother used to make dresses for stores like Selfridges in the shop, while the family lived above. “All these beautiful gowns and things… You can sort of feel it in there.”

Or perhaps it’s the name, Mabel. Julie named the shop after her own mother, who died shortly before it opened. Ironically while alive she was “completely oblivious to [clothes and fashion], a woman in polyester”.

But with a smile Julie adds thoughtfully: “I always feel like she’s here. She had this thing about sweeping up leaves out the back of our house… and here we always get leaves coming in the door. It always makes me think.”

But perhaps the true secret to Mabel’s success is Julie’s warm-hearted philosophy: “When you think of all the things you love, it’s never the thing you’ve bought new. And if you’ve got something you love, you’d give it to someone else.”

[k-i-s-m-e-t]

Secret Santa

TianShan Xmas Event: Presents (Day 2) Fandom: 19 days Rating: Mature Status: 1/2 Warnings: None Pairing: TianShan Words: 4,102

Summary: Based on this freaking hilarious & amazing prompt!! I hope you don’t mind that I ran with it. I’m not sure this is what you expected but hey lol enjoy!

When Mo took the volunteer job at the mall, he had done so begrudgingly. It was punishment after all, brought about by boiled-over frustration that had fueled the language he’d used to respond to his teacher’s inquiries about his tardiness. It was the third time that week he’d been late. Put on the spot, he didn’t know how to explain that money was always tight around the holidays and he’d been walking to and from school each morning in lieu of the train.

He was monopolizing any place he could cut some corners to save a few dollars. The allowance he got wasn’t much, but he saved as much of it as possible. This year he’d told himself he’d get his mom something good for Christmas. He hated seeing that overjoyed look on her face when she opened his handmade or cheap gifts. Like the “Mom of the Year” plaque he’d made in shop class last year that she boasted about having on her desk at the hospital, or the cheap earrings he’d bought at a stand she still wore proudly several times a week. A person like her deserved better, she deserved the world, and it frustrated him that he was just a broke high school student.

Getting a job was, “Completely out of the question!” she’d barked when he had off-handedly mentioned it. It was her duty to provide for him, not the other way around. If they needed to make ends meet, she’d work double shifts, he couldn’t afford to slack off on his studies.

Seeing his taken-aback expression, she’d softened instantly. “I know you mean well honey,” she’d said a hand cupping his cheek, “but we’re doing fine.”

The command to, “See me after class!” had been given on the spot and when the bell rang Mo hung back, dread setting in. He waited until the room cleared before even considering approaching his teacher’s desk.

Taking a breath, he stood and gathered his belongings, packing them up slowly, stalling for time. Sweat from his palms smeared along the cover of his history textbook as he fumbled with it, slick fingers shoving it into his bag. He nearly yanked the zipper off his bag when his name is called.

The walk to the front from his back-row seat seemed infinite, blood pulsing in his ears, each step forward magnified in the now empty classroom. But then he was there, hanging back a few steps as if proximity could diminish his impending punishment. He figured this slip-up would earn him a few days minimum in detention.

“What?” Mo spat standing uncomfortably in front of the teacher’s desk. Agitation amounting from anticipation.

The man looked up with a raised eyebrow.

“Watch your tone with me, that little outburst you had this morning coupled with your tardiness has you looking at a week-long suspension right now.”

“What the fuck!” Mo exploded.

The man slammed his open palm down on the desk. “Language!”

Mo flinched.

He pointed a finger level with Mo’s chest. “One more offense like that and we can finish this conversation in the principal’s office.”

Mo clenched his fists, seething, he could feel his temper flaring but he nodded. A week long fucking suspension? His mom was going to kill him.

“As of today you have been tardy 13 times! 13! And you don’t just show up five minutes late, oh no! Sometimes you stroll in here 20 to 30 minutes late. I need an explanation for this, it’s completely unacceptable!”

When Mo remained silent the man rubbed at his temples, trying to ease the tension gathered there, then sighed.

“Look Guan Shan, I’ve seen a significant amount of improvement in your schoolwork and behavior this year. I’m proud of you. I don’t want to see you start backsliding, got it?”

“Got it,” Mo mumbled.

“Look, let’s make a deal: The Humanitarian Club, which I lead, needs a few more volunteers for our Santa’s Workshop at the mall. We desperately need a photographer as our current one recently got sick with the flu and I know one of your electives this year was photography. I’ve seen your work and I’m pretty confident in your ability. You’d just have to take photos of the kids sitting on Santa’s lap.”

“I..” Mo hesitated.

“Don’t feel pressured to do it but.. I’ll be frank with you, it’s either this or suspension. At least this won’t show up on your record. Also, I’d need you to be able to commit to doing it for two weeks, just until our photographer gets better.”

An image of his mother’s disappointed face flashed through his mind, he sighed… but two weeks?

“Ok, when do I start?”

His teacher smiled, glasses glinting. “Today.”

That afternoon Mo found himself at the local mall, and as the automatic doors slid open he was immediately engulfed in a retail wonderland, Christmas style. He wandered around for a bit, window shopping, eyes drinking in the season’s assortment of clothing and trainers in his favorite shop’s windows.

Truth be told, he wasn’t exactly sure where he was supposed to meet for this volunteer job, he hadn’t really paid attention to the details. He been too relieved that he wouldn’t have to explain to his mother his suspension and could instead spin the situation in his favor, as doing some community service out of the goodness of his own heart, having caught the holiday spirit. Yeah… she was going to see right through that lie.

In the food court he made his rounds, filling up on free samples to stave off his hunger until dinner. As he exited the half circle of vendors he could see a Santa’s Workshop display near the children’s play area. Tossing the toothpick the last sample had been on, he shouldered his backpack and headed over.

The site was bustling and he could recognize plenty of familiar faces from school. A few eyed him warily given his delinquent reputation, but most were absorbed in their duties.

Amid the group he spied Zhan and felt his body relax, not realizing how much tension had built up. This might not be so bad after all, he thought. Zhan barely talked but neither did he, at least he knew someone here.

“You too?” He inquired as he approached, bumping Zhan’s outstretched fist.

“In a way, my mom’s part of the PTA,” he stated as if that explained everything. “Apparently they never get enough volunteers.”

“Where’s Jian Yi?”

“Why do you assume he’d be here? We don’t do everything together.”

Mo waited.

Zhan sighed. “He had clean-up duty after school & caught a later train, he should be here in a few.”

“Alright everyone,” a bespectacled girl addressed the group. Movement halted as everyone paused giving her their full attention.

“Last week was great and we had an amazing turn out!” Many in the group clapped and whistled.

“Let’s try to do even better this week,” she laughed. “You know your positions, if you have any questions don’t hesitate to talk to me. Let’s go out there and spread some holiday cheer!” A few whooped in response, Mo rolled his eyes.

They all drifted to their respective roles, and as the crowd thinned the girl’s eyes fell on him.

“Oh, it’s you,” she sighed in annoyance. Mo recognized her as his class rep from middle school. The same one that had demanded he stop playing cards on school time.

“Pleasure to see you too,” he quipped.

“Save it, come on so we can get you set up and out of my hair.”

Off to the side there was a trolley parked with several suitcases stacked on top, she pulled off the topmost one, resting it gently on the floor and unzipped it. Nestled between foam cushioning laid the nicest camera Mo had ever seen, let alone touched. She removed it from its casing and held it out to him.

“You’ll be shooting with this.”

Taking it gingerly from her, he cradled it carefully in both hands. The DSLR was a larger model, a Nikon D series, he tested its weight, pleased that it was nice and solid, felt good in his hands. He ran his fingers along the textured gripping on the side. The lens he could tell came standard but the depth it could shoot was still considerable. He’d be able to get plenty of clear, close up shots. Damn he was in love, he would in a few words, totally fuck this camera. It was sexy as hell and sensitive to the touch. Bringing it up to his face, he aligned the eyepiece carefully along the curve of his cheek and brow, lightly pressed the shutter release. The smooth click of the shutter opening and closing was music to his ears, like the purr on a nice sports car. He thumbed at the playback button to review the photo. It was displayed on the screen in crisp quality; a Christmas tree in a store front effortlessly preserved in time.

“Nice,” Mo breathed.

“The photos you take will save automatically & transfer immediately to that computer station,” she pointed “where we display them to allow parents to pick their favorite. There’s a tripod in that bag too that you’ll shoot from, you just need to set up in front of Santa’s chair. All I ask is, that at the end of the night you box everything up just how you found it.”

“Sounds easy enough, so all I have to do is take the pictures.”

“Yea, try not to fuck it up. Oh, also ruin that camera and I’ll kill you.”

“Noted.”

“Oh, one more thing.” She unfolded an elf hat, and held it out to him. “I need you to wear this.”

“I’m not wearing that,” Mo said dismissively.

A hand clutched his forearm and she looked up into his face, light obscuring her eyes behind thick frames, “Yes, you are.”

“Okay, okay!” Mo exclaimed. What the hell was wrong with these people??

To their left a child bounded down the roped off line, dragging his mother behind him.

She patted his arm. “You’re on.”

Once Mo set up the camera and tripod, which he would admit he struggled with, just a tad, things ran smoothly.

The first few kids, though excited, followed his instructions to smile and say cheese. The student playing Santa he was sure helped facilitate the process, the guy was really good with kids. He greeted them in a cheery manner and made them feel comfortable. He even calmed a watery-eyed little girl, wiped her tear streaked cheeks and got her to smile wide for the camera.

Mo couldn’t help but find himself chuckling at some of the jokes he could hear exchanged or Santa’s reactions to their wish lists. It softened his mood and he found himself greeting the parents and kids in similar pleasant manner. He was almost disappointed when 7:30 rolls around and they close-up shop for the day. Almost. Gathering up the camera and tripod he carried them both back to the trolley; unzipped the travel bag and folded up the tripod stowing it neatly in its compartment. Before packing up the camera he pressed the playback button, cycling through the images he’d taken over the past few hours, mentally making notes of where he’d succeeded and how he could improve.

“Nice work today,” a voice said and he was ashamed of the brief scream he emitted.

“Could you announce yourself.”

The class rep leaned back, a smirk on her face. “Where’s the fun in that? Anyways, I saw the shots you took, good thing your stay is only temporary or our current photographer would be out of a job.”

“I…”

“You’re talented, glad to have you on the team. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she clasped his shoulder briefly before walking away.

Mo soaked in her words, a newfound vigor guiding his actions as he popped out the camera’s battery and stuck it into a portable charger to power-up overnight. I’m… talented.

The words carried him afloat as he left, waving an honest goodbye to the few stragglers. Zhan was still hanging around the set and Mo moved to see if wanted to walk home together but the other politely declined. Mo could see Jian Yi cleaning up the and he gets it. No explanation needed.

The high got him through the sliding doors of the mall exit only to be knocked flat on his ass.

He was blinded for a few seconds as the stupid elf hat he forgot to take off is knocked askew covering his eyes. Rage ensued.

“Who in the mother fuck is looking for death?!”

He ripped the hat off and was met with an outstretched hand in his face. Genuinely confused he looked up as the owner of the hand chuckled.

Fucking He Tian, of course.

“Don’t you have a graveyard to lurk in?” Mo bit out irritably, and smacked away the offered hand.

“Are you implying that I’m the grim reaper? I like that,” He Tian purred.

“That wasn’t a compliment.” Mo got gingerly to his feet, dusted his pants.

“Why are you even here? The mall’s closed.”

“I was doing some shopping,” he gestured to the small bag dangling from his wrist.

Mo could tell by the bag’s logo it was from some pricey jewelry store. He rolled his eyes. “Fancy gift for one of your admirers, I’m sure.”

“Not quite,” He Tian said but didn’t offer an explanation.

“Anyways, I gotta get going so are we done here?”

“I can’t lie you look pretty cute in that get-up,” He Tian said, looking him up and down. “Why don’t you come sit on my lap.”

“Yeah, you’re about the 5th guy to spit that line today,” Mo remarked pushing past him. “Try again.”

“Hmm okay, you know you’re pretty cute when you’re wrapped up in your own little world.”

“The hell kind of comment is that?”

“I saw you walking, you looked content with yourself. A nice change from your usual mad at the world persona.”

“And for this you chose to knock me on my ass.”

“You bumped into me, actually.”

“Right.”

“Why don’t you let me walk you home?”

“How ‘bout no?” Mo said stalking off. Body tensed in anticipation of the strong arm he knew would swing around his shoulders and drag him off anyways but nothing came.

He glanced over his shoulder but He Tian was gone. Weird.

The next day wasn’t as easy as the first. It was, in short, mild chaos.

Mo bounced a screaming baby on his hip as the mother and Santa tried to console its twin. He looked down into her ruddy face, eyes squeezed shut, tiny fists balled as she opened her mouth, silent for a few seconds catching her breath, little body vibrating with the subdued rage she planned to unleash. Mo sighed steeling himself for another round of screaming.

‘Why are you crying? You have no real problems, fuck I should be crying.’

“Say cheese,” he dead panned as the mother finally stepped out of the frame, the other child momentarily consoled.

The baby looked surprised in the picture but at least he wasn’t crying. Good enough. Handing over twin number two to Santa, he glanced at the endless line of parents and toddlers.

“Let’s get this over with.”

Click!

The daily 15-minute breaks were heaven sent and he executed his usual system of hitting up the food court, stopping at every food place offering free samples. By the time he had reached the end, his appetite was comfortably sated. There was still about ten minutes left before he was due for the second half of his shift so he sat on a bench nearby, pulled out his phone to review his finances. The amount he’d saved up so far gave him enough bandwidth to explore several options but he still had no clue what to buy his mom for Christmas. After making this much effort it had to be good, memorable, but what do you get the woman that claimed she had everything she’d ever wanted. He rested his chin in his hand in defeat. Ughh, this shouldn’t be so hard. The bench jostled and he glanced to his left, surprised to see Santa sitting next to him.

“Hey.” the guy offered, voice muffled by the giant white beard that obscured most of his face. One hand shifted his belly so he could sit comfortably.

“Hey..” Mo returned.

“Nice job out there today, I didn’t know you were so good with kids.”

“Likewise man, today was.. something else.”

Santa cracked open a bottle of water, taking a few gulps. “Yeah we have days like that but it’s generally smooth sailing.”

They sat in silence for a bit, the soft murmur of the bustling mall and crinkling of the water bottle drifted between them.

“You.. can’t take the costume of?” Mo asked, breaking the silence.

“Nah, can’t risk one of the kids seeing me and realizing Santa’s not a chubby jolly old white dude. Imagine if they found out he isn’t only not real but a high-schooler.

Mo laughed. “They’ll find out sooner or later.”

“That’s cold man,” Santa said but his grey eyes twinkled behind the spectacles.

Mo shrugged, checked his phone. “Crap, breaks up. I’ll see you back at the workshop.”

Santa raised an arm in farewell. “See you.”

Mo jogged the short distance back, but couldn’t shake the odd feeling that he knew Santa. He couldn’t place why exactly, but the costume restrictions made it difficult to see what he looked like and his voice didn’t sound familiar. Whatever, he would ask him his name next time he had a chance.

As soon as he stepped back on site the class rep ushered him back to the camera, scolding him about tardiness being why he was here in the first place.

Face breaking into a scowl, all previous thoughts vanished from his mind as he double-checked the camera battery supply and adjusted the lighting. He’d just finished tidying up around Santa’s chair when the guy returned from break. Mo resumed his place at the camera as the line reopened and mildly subdued chaos ensued.

Two days down. A week and a half to go.

“Who the fuck are you supposed to be? Rudolph?” Mo addressed Jian Yi as he unpacked the camera and tripod for his shift.

“No,” Jian Yi sniffled, wiping at his vividly red nose. “I’m sick. I think I caught something from one of these brats.” He sneezed, open mouthed of course, snot and drool dripping.

“Gross dude, cover your mouth, you aren’t five,” Mo muttered hastily gathering his supplies so he could vacate the area asap.

Every day that passed without coming to a decision on what to get his mom was making him more and more irritable. Walking out to the set, camera at the ready, the sounds of crying increased the closer he got, an opposing battle cry.

Please, just take me now.

When his break came around, he found himself anticipating the arrival of Santa. It’s not like Mo was looking for the guy or anything. Yet meeting up had become almost an unspoken ritual, in the same vein as Mo forgetting to ask for his name.

The question was always at the forefront of his mind but the guy was hilarious and Mo became easily swept up in the conversation, usually not realizing he had again forgotten to ask until he arrived home that night.

This time the guy showed up with dumplings that keep Mo’s mouth occupied the majority of the conversation, as pickings were light in the free sample area. A few of the vendors had caught on to his scheme and conveniently weren’t handing out samples when he came by.

“Can you believe that last kid spat up on me? I’m never having kids,” Santa declared shaking his head in disbelief.  

“Yeah sucks to be you,” Mo chewed thoughtfully. They were quiet for a bit.. “Hey,” Mo started “This is kind of random but what’s your name? I didn’t catch it the first time we talked.”

Santa paused, swallowed. “It’s uh Li Jie,” he said slowly.

“Oh.” Unfamiliar. “I guess I don’t know you after all, I know pretty much everyone at school.”

“I tend to blend with the crowd,” he shrugged, eyes focused on the waning dumplings.

“That’s cool,” Mo said, popping another piece into his mouth. “Me too.”

The week ended and casually spilled into the next. Mo had gotten used to the ebb and flow of the volunteer job, and could proudly say his photography skills had improved considerably. Li Jie and he were becoming good friends but there was something off about never actually having seen the guy out of costume, which Mo joked about. Actors like Li Jie, along with a few others who played Santa’s elves had to get dressed in the mall restroom or come already in garb. Li Jie had a habit of disappearing by the time Mo had finished packing up the camera equipment for the night. He had even invited the guy over for dinner one day but Li Jie had politely declined claiming he was behind on his schoolwork. Understandable, given the fact that they spent three hours after school at the workshop. He had promised to come by once the job ended, a week after Mo’s punishment. Mo had even vented to him about his struggles in finding his mother the perfect Christmas gift, asking him what he should get her.

“You know your mom best,” he had said. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate any gift you give her. Just remember it’s not about the price but the meaning behind it. If the effort comes from a good place, which I know it does, she’ll love it.”

It had brightened his mood at the time but he still wasn’t sure what to get her.

As much as Mo thought he understood life and might even be one step ahead, it had a way of knocking him back ten feet when he least expected it.

“10-4, we gotta brat,” Jian Yi muttered off to his left, pretending to be occupied with adjusting decorations on the set’s Christmas tree.

Mo twisted on his stool, turned his attention to the line, eyes widening as he watched a mother wrangle her screaming daughter into her arms and walk up to Santa’s chair. The girl had a handful of her Mother’s hair and was yelling for all she was worth, limbs flailing.

“Man,” Zhan whispered, “my sister was bad but never like this. “I hope this guy can handle her.”

Mo watched for a reaction from said Santa but it was hard to gauge anything given how much of his face the beard obscured.

The mother looked embarrassed and nervous as she handed the screaming child over to Santa. Mo had to give it to him, the guy was composed, bouncing the girl on his knee, cooing to her, easily calming the crocodile tears. The mother beamed at the turn of events, whipping out her phone to snap a few tear-streaked pictures.

Mo relaxed, relieved to see the situation easily diffused, his heart bloomed a bit in pride for his friend, which he quelled, brain cycling through the mental gymnastics of why he doesn’t actually really care.

Mo had to give it to the guy, he was really good, he watched as Santa leaned in, beard tickling the little girl in his lap, she giggled in response. At this point the lines were rehearsed and Mo could imagine him asking her what she wanted for Christmas. She pondered, tiny face scrunched up in clearly serious thought, then suddenly a tiny fist shot out and she yanked his bread down around his chin.

Mo was on his feet instantly, because no, no way, this couldn’t be happening.

“Ah shit,” he heard Zhan mutter off to his left.

Mo turned on him.

“You knew,” his voice cracked. Zhan looked pained.

“10-4 He Tian is fucking Santa!” Jian Yi whispered loudly behind them. “He’s fucking Santa, are you guys seeing this!”

“Who’s fucking Santa?” another student offered with a snicker.

“Guan Shan..” Zhan said, but Mo doesn’t want to hear it. He felt nauseous and too hot, his hands shaking, felt like couldn’t breathe as if all the air had been sucked out of the space. Mo bolted because fuck this, he would rather have suspension. He can’t believe how stupid he was, how oblivious he’d been, everyone must have known but him. What a fool.

Sorry not sorry to leave y’all on a cliff hanger but part two will come out on Day 5, so if you enjoyed this stay tuned, resolution come soon ;D

As always thanks for reading, your comments & tags give me life x

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

New Post has been published on http://lifehacker.guru/stop-thinking-start-doing/

Stop Thinking, Start Doing

Photo by Therapy in London

You claim you’re content with life. “I have a decent job, a home, and a family who loves me, what more could I ask for?” The answer is…a hell of a lot.

I don’t write about personal development because I believe in being holier than thou. I write about it, because deep down, we all want better for ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with that.

You want more for your life, have a dream you’d like to pursue, or at minimum an inkling of wanting to change.

There is only one method for achieving…well…anything. You have to become a doer.

Thinking is For Suckers

You’ve heard the saying “God laughs at your meticulous plans for the future.”

Life almost never works out the way you picture it in your mind. Thinking long and hard about what you’re going to do won’t help you actually do it. In fact, overthinking will keep you from doing anything.

I’m not saying to follow every impulse you have or make no plans for your future whatsoever. I do, however, encourage you to realize the thinking part of the equation covers ten percent of the process. The doing makes up the other 90.

I’ll use my own experience as an example. I thought about writing for years. I read blog post after blog post on starting a writing career. Before I’d pull the trigger, I weighed the pros and cons in my mind. For a while, the cons won out.

“Nobody knows who you are. How will you stand out?”

“Writers don’t make any money.”

“Quit kidding yourself.”

A friend asked me to write on his website. The minute I acted on my thoughts and wrote something, my life changed. In the process of actually writing, actually learning how to grow a blog, and actually doing, I learned nuance techniques I never could’ve by “studying” writing.

Why You Have Problems Doing

I vividly remember an experience in college I’ll never forget. In my sales class, the teachers gave us an open-ended assignment. No rubrics, no guidelines, just a subject and license to create any form of a presentation we wanted.

Many of the students damn near lost their minds. They barraged him with questions.

“Should we do powerpoint?”

“How many points will the assignment be worth?”

“What chapter can we read for assistance?”

The teacher refused to provide any overt answers on purpose. He was trying to teach us a true life lesson — there is no rubric in real life, no grades, no guidelines. There’s no formula for standing out and being remarkable.

You grew up in a system where the answers were clearly spelled out.

You were trained to take tests and lack creativity. Society trained you to become a thinker. But the world belongs to the doers.

Thinkers work for companies doers own. Doers have freedom. Thinkers are restrained. Doers don’t need the answers beforehand because they know they’ll find them through experience. Thinkers think until they die.

Do you want your dreams to die in the graveyard? No, but they will unless youdo something about it.

The Framework I Use to Stop Thinking and Start Doing

Ever since my friend gave me the opportunity to write, I developed a bias toward action, which means I have a tendency to act instead of ruminating.

Last year, I applied to be a TEDx speaker. I’d been in a Toastmasters club for six months, meaning I was unqualified to be on stage. Alas, they chose me to speak at the conference.

If I notice a publication I want to write for, I try to find my way in, either through the front door or the back, and I haven’t failed yet.

Here’s the three-step process I use.

Investigate (Quickly)

Okay, you do have to do a moderate amount of thinking before you attempt something new. But once you have enough information, you must move onto the next phase.

A few techniques you can use when following a new path or trying something new are:

Read

Whether it’s books or blog posts. Take some time to learn a bit about said path or industry to see if it’s appealing. Pay attention to actual people’s stories, as they can provide great insights.

Consider the downside

Most people never truly consider the downside to their actions. Spelling out the worse possible scenario makes the decision you’re about to make crystal clear. In many cases, you don’t have anything more to lose than a dent in your ego or someone saying no to you. Although neither are pleasant, they won’t kill you.

The cases you may want to avoid are those that have a considerable financial downside and/or the potential for extreme duress in your relationships. Often the two come in a package.

Fortunately, most opportunities today are affordable and have low barriers to entry. Look for things with a lot of upside and low downside. In my case, when I wrote a book I realized I couldn’t sell negative books.

The financial downside was known and I was willing to risk the investment.

Adopt the Why Not Attitude

Even after you’ve done your due diligence and something looks promising, you’ll experience the moment of hesitation — the one that kills 99percent of dreams.

I could attempt to give a concrete answer for overcoming it — the ten step bulletproof recipe — but it doesn’t exist. Ironically, all self-help material can’t account for the tiny gap between the thought and the action.

In my case, when I’m doubtful or afraid, I ask myself “why not?” I’ve developed a conversation in my head where I realize there are no good reasons for not doing what I want to do with my life. I remember how short life is, how insignificant I am in the grand scheme of it, and how much regret I’ll feel if I don’t do what I want to do.

After I finish the investigation, I execute the idea.

How to Become a Mad Scientist

Many of the world’s greatest discoveries are accidents. Penicillin, Pacemakers, and to round off the top 3 most important ones, Instagram.

They’re all a result of people who were doing, trying, and testing.

From now on, consider yourself a scientist. There is no success or failure. Life is your laboratory and your goal is to experiment and see what happens.

Just like a scientist, you develop a theory and test it.

The key to succeeding is simply taking the first, simple, and most obvious step.

Take my speaking at the TEDx conference for example. I started with just filling out the application.

They invited me to join a pitch night where I competed against 23 other speakers for a limited number of spots at the conference.

So then I focused on coming up with the required 3-minute pitch — not an entire talk. They invited me to speak, so I prepared my speech and worked with their coaching team.

Every step was done without too much thought of the future. I doubted I’d get chosen, but I figured why not. By that point, I learned to “throw my hat in the ring” whenever possible.

With an experimental mindset, I don’t take success or failure as a definition of who I am but rather feedback as to what I should do next.

Your Experiment

A good experiment has the following:

A hypothesis

Parameters and timelines

No marriage to positions

Let’s use a random example.

You want to sell handmade jewelry on Etsy. You read a few blog posts on the subject and find the top selling Etsy retailers use content marketing and social media well.

Your hypothesis could be — “If I create an Esty store and market it well on blogs and social media, I can begin to make a side income.”

Next, define the parameters. You’re not going to get rich overnight, right? You have to give yourself enough time to see if your strategy works. You could set parameters with manageable expectations — make your first $500 in sales in six months from now.

Run the experiment. Put your heart and soul into building your store for six months without judgment of the results. Apply the methods you studied online.

Once the trial period ends, view your results. Here’s where most people mess up. They’ll conclude the experiment was a failure and they should stop because the process was difficult.

You should never quit doing something because it’s hard. Nothing worth having comes easy. Judge your results based on how you feel about the path or process itself. If you enjoy what you’re doing, yet things haven’t clicked yet, it means you have to refine your strategy.

If, however, you discover your heart isn’t in it and it’s truly not worth your time, quit. I’ve toyed around with other ideas besides building a career around my writing, but the passion just wasn’t there. I don’t want to get rich doing something I hate.

If you truly love hawking those handmade earrings, keep trying new methods, accepting feedback from the market, and repeat the process until it works out for you.

That’s what doers do.

(C)

[winderfuck]

Parker and Micah’s 25 Ways to Pamper Yourself

So like, living life is completely, totally stressful. It’s important to wind down and relax, so @transgenderdaisylove and I have these 25 wonderful ways to pamper yourself or relax during these stressful times.

1. Give yourself a steam soak. Fill up a bowl with hot water, and cover your head with a towel. You’ll feel like a monk, but bow your head over that hot water and let that steam open up your pores. It’ll feel really nice, and open your pores so you can get a deep clean later and rid yourself of acne.

2. Essential oils. They are life. I could live forever on essential oils. Look online for a local business that sells them, and go to them. It’s better to go to the store and pick your own so you get a scent you actually like. I have this one for studying that actually really helps, but it makes me sneeze. Pick any one you want, and mix it with a little water to put it on your bod, do it for you.

3. Diffusers. I also love these, because it’s an easy way to get your favorite scent to go through your home. Use that essential oil and use the instructions on the box, and read a book. It’s such a nice time to help you relax. This is the one I have, and all you use is water and your oil. Need a cheaper one? I got you, fam. Don’t have a Target? Also got you. 

4. Manicures. I bite my nails, but sometimes you really need to have some sort of statement. Get some fake nails if you want them, use Jamberry to not paint your nails but still get a pop, actually paint them if you got that motivation. Heck, go to the salon and get it done, you deserve it. Everyone should get their nails done.

5. Sugar scrub, the routine of almost all of Tumblr. Get yourself some sugar(1/2 cup, any kind), oil of coconut(1/2 cup, can be substituted if you are allergic), and that essential oil I keep yapping about. Mix that up good and rub it on your hands, legs, armpits, whatever. Great for after shaving or if you love smooth skin. Too lazy to make it? Find a local business that does, there is a place near me called Soap Alchemy that makes great scrubs.

6. Meditate. Close your eyes, listen to relaxing music, and take some deep breaths. There are also tracks on YouTube to listen to so you can be mindful. I highly recommend the free app Stop, Breathe, Think. It gauges your mood and gives a meditation to listen to based on that.

7. Retail therapy. Seriously, it is so fun and relaxing to go shopping, and you feel good after buying a new thing. On a budget? Go to a wholesale site,  they always have good deals if you don’t mind waiting.Also, Amazon has cool stuff that they have deals on. Want a stuffed animal? Half price plush has your back.

8. Color. You know those adult coloring books that you can’t avoid seeing when you go to the store? Find one you like, grab a big thing of colored pencils, and go home to color. Those small spaces help you focus if you have high anxiety like me.

9. Play with animals. Got a dog or cat? Give it some TLC. Lizard? Let him out of that cage. Bird? Love your birdie. Tarantula? Let that thing crawl all over you, and send me a picture of your little buddy so that I can stop being scared of spiders. In fact, everyone should send me pictures of their pets, but that’s beside the point. Don’t have an animal? Go to the humane society, there are plenty of little buddies to play with. 

10. Take a nap. I have a pretty wacked sleep schedule, so everyone should take this advice. Nap, nap, nap! Curl up on the couch and nap! Can’t nap? Close your eyes for a few minutes, I promise you’ll feel better.

11. Make a warm drink. Green tea helps with weight loss, warm milk helps with sleep, tea in general is great. Don’t make coffee, you’ll be on edge for a while. Make a drink that relaxes you and enjoy. I make this drink where it’s a spoonful of honey, a dash of cinnamon, and milk. You warm it up, and it’s heaven. 

12. Doodle. Get out a sketchpad and just make something random. Draw a house and a little couple that lives in the house, draw a clown if you really want to it doesn’t matter. Make what makes you happy, doodle whatever. Your skill level doesn’t matter. 

13. Take a walk. When it’s nice outside, take a walk and listen to calm music. When it’s rainy, take an umbrella and walk if you want. Whatever weather, go out and walk and get fresh air. 

14. Get a massage. Go out and get a massage from someone. It feels fantastic to get all that stress out of your system. Hate people touching you, or don’t have money to go out? Here is a Buzzfeed article about self massages. Hate Buzzfeed? Here you go.

15.  Hang out with friends. If you want, invite over 1-2 friends to chill at your house. Watch a movie, talk, or sit in silence and eat snacks. You will feel better when you are surrounded with people you love. NOTE: friends are people who love you, too.

16. Scream. This might seem ridiculous, but this is something I do in marching band when I think a section needs to relax. Stand out in a field, turn music on high, or just stand in your backyard and shriek.Let out all that stress that you have pent up into one loud, obnoxious battle cry. You will feel so much better after. Make sure you take a drink after, because sounding like you are getting murdered takes work.

17. Dress up. Make yourself look nice. Put on that suit, wear that dress, put on some makeup. Even if you aren’t going out, wear something that makes you feel great. Stare at yourself in the mirror and pose, you’re allowed to feel great about yourself. Let yourself have a much-needed confidence boost. 

18. Mud masks. They are so nice, and they really help your skin stay radiant. Find a local store that sells a mud mask, or buy one online. This is the one I have, and it feels nice and cold when you put it on. Lather up your face, sit for a while, then slowly take it off. It works wonders. 

19. Take a bath. Sit down in some nice water, get a bathbomb and make it smell and look pretty, and relax. Light a few candles for ambiance, if you want to. It’s whatever you want. Again find a local store that sells handmade bathbombs, look online, do whatever. Here is Lush’s site, since everyone knows them. Have any other places to buy some nice bath bombs? Tell me about it!

20. Snuggle with a stuffed animal. It is really relaxing to find a stuffed animal of yours and cuddle with it. 14 years old? Cuddle with a stuffed animal. 27 years old? Cuddle that bear that you loved as a child, nothing wrong with loving stuffed animals at any age. You will feel so much better after cuddling a soft stuffed animal. 

21. Watch a movie. Kick back, relax, and watch whatever movie you want. Pop in your favorite comedy, a horror movie or a chick flick, it doesn’t matter. Make some popcorn, sit on the couch, and enjoy. 

22. Go out to eat. Nothing better to have you relax than having someone else make dinner for you. Even if it’s just McDonalds, sometimes you really just need to take a break. Have someone else make you food sometimes.

23. Read a book. Lose yourself in another world, read a book you have been dying to read. Kick back with an audio book, or with an actual paper novel. Whatever makes you happy, just sit and relax with any genre book you want.

24. Sit outside. Get an outdoor seat out, put some sunglasses on, and get your body making Vitamin D. It really will help you feel better. When it’s sunny, go out and take a nap in the sun. Don’t forget to apply sunscreen!

25. Take deep breaths. Incredibly simple, just sit down and take a few deep breaths. It will help to ground you, and it will relax you gradually. It also helps if you have anxiety, because it will help you to settle down your heartbeat.

How do you guys relax? Make sure you tell me that too! If you do any of this, I would love to see it! I love seeing people happy. Stay healthy and beautiful, everyone!

[bawkbawk-motherclucker]

Eight secrets and techniques for getting a lady jewellery

With the vacations quick approaching, males in all places are going through that age-old downside: what to get the jewelry-loving girls of their lives. Right here, some ideas from consultants – and some guys who’ve figured it out.

1. Purchase what she loves, not what you need to see her in.

Need to discover one thing a lady will suppose is probably the most stunning jewel on the earth? “Past love her, then know her,” says Nathalie Petitjean, a marketing consultant in Paris and former retailer supervisor for Chaumet and Tiffany. “Most of all, hear fastidiously.”

Nathalie says the commonest mistake males make is to concentrate on what they like. That’s additionally the error most gross sales assistants make. “What you've gotten to bear in mind is jewel is made to adorn the lady,” she says. “The jewel is an extension of her character. A girl will at all times offer you some clue of what she is keen on.”

“Usually, males purchase what they’d prefer to see us in, not essentially what we really feel good sporting,” says Cynthia Renée Zava, a gem and jewellery marketing consultant. “They can be swayed into a purchase order with which they’re making an attempt to ‘mark’ us – , shopping for a chunk that acknowledges a person’s spending energy, not essentially one that's intrinsically uncommon or stunning. Jewellery ought to really feel alive and sensual on the physique – not stiff, sharp or unyielding.”

2. Watch her store.

“I consider I perceive my spouse’s tastes after 21 years collectively,” says Doyle Cox, an actual property advertising and marketing specialist in Houston. “Nevertheless, I choose to observe her store and when her eyes sparkle and her voice will get excited, I both shock her and buy it then and there or I return for it.”

3. Get her one thing with sentimental worth.

“Select a chunk of bijou that has that means or historical past,” advises Elmer Kerr, a enterprise growth marketing consultant in Eire. “Say a person met his spouse in Paris some 20 years in the past. How a few good French attraction bracelet? It doesn’t should be costly however has a whole lot of that means and historical past.”

Vick Vercauteran of Sarasota, Florida, says males usually make the error of shopping for jewellery based mostly on promoting messages as an alternative of one thing with private that means for the wearer. Higher to rent a jeweler to manufacture a chunk with private element or a reminder of the connection, he says. “Working with a person jeweler doesn’t must be any dearer than a mass-produced piece of bijou,” Vercauteran says, “and it could be rather more significant and mawkish to the individual receiving it.”

4. Look in her jewellery field. Higher but, take a look at her.

Discover what she wears most. “Research your spouse, fiancée or girlfriend,” says Vanessa Ribeiro, a retail advertising and marketing supervisor in Brazil. “What does she like – gold, white gold ring, or 925 silver ring? Which colour stone, large stone or small one? Is she delicate or a powerful girl?”

Check out what she already owns, says Robyn Palescandolo, proprietor of Aurora Palesca Designs in Boston. “Take into consideration whether or not you possibly can truly see her sporting what you’re considering of shopping for for her,” she suggests. “Most girls satisfaction themselves on their distinctive tastes and sense of fashion.”

Think about her physique sort. “If she has an extended neck, she is going to look higher in lengthy earrings,” Palescandolo says. “If she has a small head, she is going to almost certainly go for one thing extra delicate. Probably the most insightful remark I ever heard from a person searching for his fiancée was, ‘She likes lengthy necklaces to stability out her lengthy neck and broad shoulders.’ Wow! He was actually paying consideration!”

5. Pay attention, hear, hear. We’re not that delicate.

“Take note of your girl,” says Palescandolo. “More than likely she’ll drop hints or blatantly inform you what she does and doesn't like (i.e. ‘I choose white gold’ or ‘I don’t like white pearls’).

6. If you wish to shock her, ask her finest pal.

Keep in mind the Intercourse within the Metropolis episode the place Carrie finds the engagement ring Aidan is about to present her – and hates it? However when he lastly pops the query and opens the ring field, it’s not the ugly ring she finds however an emerald-cut diamond on a skinny platinum band. She’s thrilled. Seems, buddy Samantha set him straight. “If you must get married, the least I might do was be sure to acquired a pleasant piece of bijou,” she tells Carrie later.

7. If she likes large stones, and you may afford ’em, go together with that.

“What can a person do proper?” says Rome-based lawyer Antonella Barbieri. “Diamonds are a woman’s finest pal!”

Mark Epp follows one other acquainted maxim: greater is best. “The largest mistake a person could make when shopping for jewellery is selecting a stone that's too small! Greater is at all times higher,” says Epp, a expertise marketing consultant in Lincoln, Nebraska. “What you don’t need your girlfriend or spouse to say is, ‘Oh that's so cute.’ You need her to say, ‘Oh my gosh, that’s astounding, it’s greater than my knuckle!’ For those who wanna be joyful for the remainder of your life, simply purchase an enormous, ole rock on your spouse.”

8. Don’t assume she likes large stones.

“I gained a chunk of bijou as soon as and the stone was greater than my finger. I by no means might put on it,” says Ribeiro. “It's attainable it could be good for another person, however by no means for me!”

Is the lady in your life is extra into artwork than flash? Listed here are my recommendations for handmade jewellery below $400 http://www.onlysilvershop.com/shopcategory/925-silver-ring/ .  And if all else fails, you possibly can at all times simply purchase her a e book.

[tsgalexandriavirginia]

How I Local: Lawrence Miller and Co.

Inspired artists who are reviving heritage craftsmanship with 21st century technology and creating a thriving family business in the process … all while making pretty pretty jewelry.  Basically we love everything about Lawrence Miller and Co. From their Old Town shop, Lawrence Miller and Co. offers an unparalleled level of experience in jewelry design and metal restoration, 3-D design services and offers a cultivated selection of vintage and estate jewelry. Here Lawrence along with business partners Tim and Meghan Shaheen tell us a little more about their art, craft, business savvy and local ALX tips in our lastst installment of ScoutALX’s series “How I Local.”

Please tell us a little about yourself, where you live and your family.  Meaghan: Tim and I live in Old Town with our 6-month-old baby boy (Nolan) and our definitely not at all geriatric yellow lab (Bu). Tim runs the business from a day-to-day perspective and does most of our custom design work, though he also works at the bench and sweeps the floors (a man of many talents). I take care of our creative direction to keep us moving forward as a business, and I am currently designing a line of everyday jewelry for the shop.  Lawrence: I also live in Alexandria with my wife Brigit and our two kids Lucy and Sean, but we needed more space so we recently packed up and moved a bit further down the parkway from where we were before. My job at The Shop is to tap dance and misplace diamonds. Tim: Actually, Lawrence is our silversmithing savant and the whole reason we are here. He also lent us his name...

Tell us a little bit about your shop/business and how you came to create your store/business.  Lawrence: Well, when I was sixteen I really wanted to get into jewelry making in order to impress a girl. I ended up apprenticing with the original owners of our shop and took over the business when they decided to retire. I quickly discovered that while I loved being a craftsman, I really hated running the business. Fortunately, Tim and his dad stepped in to help and ended up taking that burden off my shoulders.  Tim: Running a small business is a ton of work and you really need someone managing the minutia who also knows what goes into the craft. I learned a lot by just doing it, making mistakes, and getting input. We have had to grow and adapt over the years as traditional retail has changed so much. So much of what we do now grew out of necessity to survive, and that's some of the most exciting work we have. Since we're all trained jewelers and silversmiths, we have been able to adapt what we do to accommodate our growing custom design trade.

What is most important to you when selecting products and brands? (Working with clients?) Meaghan: When we work with clients, we first and foremost want to put them at ease. We are often working with objects that have a huge amount of sentimental value to our clients, such as their great-great-grandparents' wedding tea set or someone's future engagement ring that they will wear for the rest of their lives and possibly pass down to future generations. That's a huge responsibility so we take it seriously. So, we really try to "sell" our services by simply knowing what we're talking about and giving good advice. Even if someone ends up buying a ring somewhere else, that's great - hopefully they could apply some of our knowledge to that decision and come out with a better experience overall.

What do you love most about your job?  Tim: Working with people I like and respect, and also always getting to work on something new and different. I never know what is going to come in, if it's something I've never worked with before that I'll have to figure out. It's rewarding feeling like I'm always getting better at what I do. Lawrence: I consider our team here to be family and I love that I get to work with them everyday. I also get to do exactly what I love, every single day, which is really rare and great. Meaghan: I get this cool sandbox in which I can come up with creative ideas and see them come to fruition. I can wake up one day be like "Tim, I think we should do this" and together we'll strategize and get it done. It's also pretty great working with my husband everyday, and Lawrence is the bonus of the partnership.

What was your first job? Have you always be a ...?  Tim: I swept floors for HITT contracting and worked construction with them once I was old enough. Sweeping floors on a construction site is really a very, very boring job... but I enjoyed digging.  Lawrence: When I was 15 I worked for an interior designer in Occoquan called "Interiors by Polly" and she was awesome. I also slapped pizzas Domino's, but The Shop was my first real job. Meaghan: My first job was working behind a pizza counter and serving at my town's Best-of-South-Jersey pizzeria. This place became my Italian family throughout high school and into breaks in college. I think everyone should be a server at least once in his or her life.

How would you describe your style? Tim: if it's something I'm making by hand, I want it to look handmade and unfinished, if it's something I'm designing, Art Deco and tailored. I have no idea about clothes. Lawrence: Glam, goth, psychedelic. Hobo. Just kidding. When I get to make something original, completely for myself, it's usually very clean, modern, and minimalist. But I rarely have time to do that, so... Meaghan: Governed by my 6-month-old son. Otherwise... is minimalist organic a thing? I think when the structure of a piece shows through, and I like texture and interest. Tactile, but clean. 

What’s your favorite restaurant in ALX?  Tim: caphe bahn mi Lawrence: Fontaine Meaghan: Brabo and Hank's, don't make me choose.

Favorite outdoor activity in ALX? Tim & Meaghan: We walk all over Old Town with Bu and Nolan. We sacrificed space at home in order to have more space outside.

Best kept secret in ALX? Tim: Lawrence Miller & Company. Lawrence: I can't tell you! Just kidding. I think Todd Healy is awesome but he's on the side street from King so a lot of people miss out. Meaghan: The bus that runs through Old Town into DC (and back) during rush hour. I won't say the name. Why everyone else drives or takes the metro is beyond me.

What’s the latest book you would recommend? Movie? TV show? Tim: “Stranger Things”  Lawrence: “How to Cope With a Strong Willed Child.”

[estherellabella]

How Public Relations Found Me

So, this year has been an absolute rollercoaster. At the beginning of the year, I was working for Lush Fresh Handmade Cosmetics at the flagship store of the country, I had just gotten a promotion and I was really enjoying the freedom of earning a salary! I had made some great friends and I had built some fun relationships along the way!

Last year, my mom was on my case about applying to go study something because "who's going to look after you when we aren't there anymore?" but after the previous mess that studying BComm was for me, I was very hesitant to go back to study. Like I recall quite a few conversations that I had that went something along the lines of "I am never going back to study ever again. It doesn't work for me. I hate having to write tests. I hate having to study. I hate everything about it." I'm sure life was laughing at me, because look at me now!

Anyway, I filled out the application and I chose the following 3 options and in this order:

1.��      Marketing Management

2.       Events Management

3.       Public Relations and Communications

When I applied, I was hoping to get into events (Lord knows why I put it as my second option but nevertheless), and for both events and PR, I needed to submit a portfolio / essay of why I wanted to study that particular programme. I didn't submit any documentation, and just went on my way. I started working at Lush and thought hey, maybe this is what life has in store for me, considering that I didn't hear anything from them (cue more laughter from life). (Let's just talk about how amusing my little ideas must be to life sometimes.) It was towards the end of January 2018 when I got a phone call from CPUT saying that orientation for PR starts the following Monday, and they'd just like to remind me of that. To say I was shocked was a complete understatement. I suddenly found myself having to decide between working for a reputable company, selling a product that I was extremely passionate about and going to study something I wasn't really sure what it even was. So I went to the first day of orientation and absolutely fell in love. I remember hearing one of my lecturers speak and seeing her passion for this industry helped me realise that this is what I should be doing with my life.

So what is public relations actually? You've probably heard about it, but could never really pinpoint what it actually was. When I applied, I was just like "mmmkay, this seems cool" and sent my application in. Public relations is basically about managing the public's perception of a company. Obviously, as a company, you'd want this to be a favourable view so you get someone to manage your social media and run competitions, you get someone to send packages to influencers that contain your new product, this person will put on launch events when you launch a new range etc. Public relations is basically about subconsciously convincing people why they need your business over somebody else's. A really great example of PR are the OutSurance ads with Katlego talking to people who have scored savings on their premiums thanks to the customer service of their call centre agents. Not once is the aspect of the actual insurance spoken of, instead OutSurance attempts to portray themselves as a company that cares about helping their customers to save as much as they can on monthly premiums instead of just seeing customers as policy numbers and having to pay out their claims (watch the ad here if you don't know what I'm talking about)

I left my job, missed a month of campus working out my notice period and started studying PR full-time, being 5 years older than most of my peers and having to learn things theoretically that I had already learned while out in the real world. I had to relearn many things, like how to study, how to speak to people who aren't on the same level that I am, and possibly, the most difficult aspect of them all, working in damn groups all the time.

I can't tell you what it is specifically that I love about PR. I'm pretty sure that a big contributing factor to my affection is because I'm doing my qualification at an institution that makes use of work-integrated learning. This means that my course is not all theory, we do quite a bit of campaign planning for real-life, actual campaigns - this is definitely one of my favourite aspects because it allows me to network with people that are in the industry already, and I get to experience what it's like to plan an event. PR is also a great combination of journalism, events management and marketing. It's all very closely linked but PR allows me to explore all of these spheres in one go, and in a very interactive way. Over the past 6 months, I have built such strong foundations with my fellow students and my lecturers which is something that I thought I'd struggle with that aspect but I find it so much easier now that I have life experience. (Thank you retail, for forcing me to speak to people that I don't know)

That brings me to another point, I realised that literally each and every single job/major life experiences that I have ever had has taught me something that I am now applying to my studies. Lush taught me how to manage a group efficiently and forced me to find ways to interact with people on a level that they respond positively to, Home Brewed taught me how to manage a business and to communicate professionally, Ignite taught me how events work and the hard work that goes into it and leaving UWC taught me that I should trust my gut because it will lead me to greater things. It's so weird for me, to sit in a meeting, planning our next event and watching all these previously learned skills just click into place. Life has a funny way of leading us to something, isn't it?

I thoroughly enjoy what I do. I know I probably irritate the people who follow me on my socials with all the posting I do on behalf of CPUT to promote whatever events we're working on, and I'm sorry (#sorrynotsorry). I actually don't have a choice and it's actually part of my course to sit on social media most of the time (I mean, that's always lots of fun, let's be honest). This course is probably one of the most emotionally, physically, mentally draining things that I've ever done, and there's so much more that's still coming but at the same time, I am so flipping happy doing what I am. I don't want you to skim over that previous sentence because for me, being happy is so much more than what it sounds like. It's not just about a fleeting feeling of happiness, instead it's about feeling like I wanna continue with this even though it gets tough.

I'm about halfway through my first year, and honestly, it's such a shock to me that I can enjoying studying something as much as I do. This course definitely isn't for everyone, it requires tons of hard-work, exceptional problem-solving skills and its definitely highly stressful. I can guarantee that many of my classmates won't agree with this but I thoroughly enjoy what I'm doing. Shout out to life for throwing me this wonderfully unexpected curveball that has changed my life for the better.

Thank you for sticking around until the end of this incredibly long, babbly post and I hope that I at least managed to teach you a little bit more about both myself and the wonderful world of Public Relations!

[hallilikeberry]

Good As Gold

One of the benefits of being a Birchbox subscriber is all the cool deals they offer. I was able to snag this Good As Gold box for just $25 using my February coupon code during one of their sales. I’d been eyeing the box for some time, but at that price, I just couldn’t pass it up. 

All of the Birchbox boxes are high-quality (and will make excellent gift boxes!). But wait! There’s more! There are so many fun items inside this limited edition box.

This is literally a treasure box of items. It’s a fantastic mixture of skincare, haircare, makeup, decor, and accessories. There’s literally something here for everyone-- including some of my friends and family! There are plenty of items that will make excellent gifts here. So while some of this is a gift for me, I’ve also got a jump start on my Christmas shopping! That’s a major win-win!

Candlefish Candle Tin No. 62

I’ve been interested in trying Candlefish for a while. I love the sleek packaging, and they have so many amazing scents. All of their candles are handmade from soy wax In Charleston, South Carolina. This particular scent, No. 62, is described as a mix of lilac, rose and blackcurrant. I smell mostly the lilac, and I don't hate it at all. It reminds me of the lilac bush in front of my grandparents’ house when I was growing up. Candlefish’s candles come in two sizes, and this is the smaller, meant to burn for 20 hours. I’m always happy to receive delicious candles, and this is one I’ll absolutely burn all the time!

Davines Oi All In One Milk

Leave-in treatment for hair. The smell of spray this is weird and really strong, and it sticks around for awhile on my hair. I really wanted to love this after everything I’ve heard about the Davines brand, but I don’t know that I’ll be able to get over the scent. This is a miss for me, but I’m sure I can find it a good home!

Juice Beauty Phyto-Pigments Liquid Lip

This lip stain is made with cold-pressed oil to give it a moisturizing, non-sticky finish. Once applied, it feels like I’m not wearing anything on my lips, but the color payoff is amazing! It’s super wearable. 

I’ve only tried a couple items from Juice Beauty, but everything they make is free of parabens, sulfates, artificial dyes, or synthetic fragrances-- and I’m on board. Here’s the gloss in action.

 This lip is a new favorite for sure! And in this box, the full size is a steal. It would normally cost $24 at retail, which means I basically got everything else in this box for $1!

Library of Flowers Handcreme

Everyone loves a good hand cream. This one is made with shea butters and rich cocoa for serious moisture without the grease. This scent, Linden, is a combination of linden blossom, narcissus, and clover honey. Keep this to yourself, but I think this will be a perfect gift for my mother! She’s a hand cream addict! This tube, housed in a beautiful gift box, is sealed, so I can't test smell. But it has some amazing reviews, so I trust it will be a hit.

NUXE Huille Prosigieuse Multi-Use Dry Oil

This is a product I’ve had my eye on for a while. Made from a mix of six different essential oils, this quick-absorbing oil can be used for almost anything-- hair, body, cuticles-- you name it! It smells divine, like warm skin after a day at the beach. I’m absolutely in love. On vacation, I used this on the scrapes I got when I fell running, and it helped me heal up really quickly! This is a small bottle, but a little goes a long way, so it’s more than worth it.

Birchbox Makeup Brushes

I’ve been looking for some new makeup brushes, but it’s so tough to commit. Quality brushes can get unreasonably expensive. So stumbling upon these was kismet! This kit includes three made-for-Birchbox brushes. The first is an eye shader brush to apply eye shadow. You can never have enough eye shadow brushes, as far as I’m concerned. I plan to use this one for lighter colors, since the brush is fair, and avoid having to wash my brushes as often. The second is a dome blush brush, uniquely shaped to place color just where you want it. I had hoped to use this for contouring, but the brush is a little too soft for that. It is, however, perfect for applying mineral veil or whatever finishing powder you prefer over your makeup. The third is an angled eye liner brush with densely packed bristles for precise application. I found it to be easy to use and very precise.

Umbra Hand Mirror

This mirror is a Birchbox exclusive. Like all good/evil mirrors, it’s double sided-- one regular and one magnified. While everyone hates how they look in a magnified mirror (hello, pores!), they’re great for applying precise eye makeup or for tweezing. I’ve been looking for a hand mirror for a while, because I like to see how the back of my hair has curled, and suddenly here’s the perfect one!

Umbra Prisma 4x4 Frame

I have some Umbra jewelry organizers on my bureau. I love them, and the gold geo design, but I really don’t need another picture frame, nor do I have room for it. Luckily, it comes in a perfectly giftable box, and will be a great present for anyone-- male or female. I think I’ll put it up for swap for a while, but if there are no takers, I know so many people who would love this!

So how did we fair?

What a fun box! This is precisely why I call Birchbox an experience and not just a subscription. The sub is really only part of it. It’s access to amazing, curated boxes like this that make set Birchbox apart. I got a great deal on some incredible items here. I’m most exited about the NUXE oil, the liner brush, and the Juice Beauty lip stain. But I’m also thrilled to have accumulated some amazing gift items as well! 

**Birchbox is not a sponsor. However, if you use this link to sign up, we both benefit! I get 50 points ($5) to use on the site, and when you use the code  SUBSCRIBENOW50, so do you!