#i had work the past three days

[laniidae-passerine]

I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover

[zoppzoop]

God i hate it here sometimes

[tomato-greens]

honestly I don't think of myself as someone who feels especially deeply connected to being Irish because it's so ubiquitous for white people in NJ to be specifically and culturally Irish-American it just didn't feel like something I had to consciously think about, even though I like...grew up spending time in Ireland (w/ cousins etc) two or three times actually, which I LITERALLY never thought about as an immigrant family-related thing until this very second???? because I am stupid I guess????? that's just not how we ever talked about it????? my mom just told me I had a silver spoon in my mouth because I had a passport and got to leave the country???????? which also was true???????, but now in SoCal, every single time someone talks about Ireland as a colonized country someone's like "oh yeah I forgot about that" and it drives me crazy. it's okay if you forgot about it but can you not say it EVERY time mayhap

[pilgrimattinkercreek1974]

Blog as confessional moment look away or dont ^-^

[daddy-long-legssss]

this is the second weekend in a row i’ve spent working. and i don’t know if i’m just acting like a baby or a delusional but this CANNOT be normal or acceptable. i hate it here and i cannot live this way.

[parkitaco]

this genuine friendship thing is crazy guys you should try it

[ladyminaofcamelot]

Okay, here is my detailed analysis of the symbolism in Michael J. Sullivan’s, “Disappearance of Winter’s Daughter” that no one asked for, because here’s the thing. This book is chalk full of symbolism, mainly concerning unicorns, polka dots, stray dogs, cats, and one very special knife, all of which point toward hope, and more specifically the hope that Royce and Hadrian have because of each other.

So, unicorns represent hope. This is established both in the initial conversation about them and when Royce puts unicorns, Hadrian, and Alverstone in the same category, with Alverstone having been explicitly stated to be hope earlier in the book. Royce and Hadrian both call each other unicorns over the course of the story, so they are quite literally each other’s hope. 

Hadrian presents an anomaly to the worldview Royce previously held where everyone looks out for themselves and those who don’t look out for themselves wind up dead, because Hadrian is good and honorable and somehow very much not dead. To Royce, good and evil in the cosmic sense are random, and survival is a perfectly reasonable justification for doing evil to others. In the moment that Royce compares Hadrian to a unicorn, it is because he feels he has been sabotaged by Hadrian’s ideas and worldview in his own actions all night, and is aggravated because they are working. But the thing is, just because he believes the world is cruel and that survival is the goal, doesn’t mean he actually thinks that’s a good world to live in, and Hadrian has shown him that maybe, just maybe, there is a world out there where justice exists, and even if he doesn’t fully believe it, that it could exist gives some meaning to life.

When Hadrian calls Royce a unicorn, Royce is quite literally his only hope for survival, but I think it’s also deeper than that, because of cats. Royce is compared to a cat quite often, and in this book there is an expanded metaphor to a cat when he is about to kill someone, who he notably doesn’t kill in part because of Hadrian running interference. Later, Hadrian thinks that, “cats were picky, untrusting things. Being fragile, they had to be. Whenever a cat sat on him, Hadrian felt special, as if the animal approved, and their acceptance was some sort of gift. Makes a body feel worthy of something to have a cat trust you that much.” And also, “Cats don’t sleep on monsters, do they?” From another conversation they have about his time in Callis, we know that Hadrian actually thinks of himself as a worse murderer than Royce, who he himself has called a monster. Royce may think he’s too saintly for his own good, but Hadrian doesn’t think of himself that way, which is why Royce is the cat on his lap and therefore his unicorn. Royce doesn’t trust anyone, but he trusts Hadrian, so Hadrian is able to believe, or hope, that maybe, just maybe, he could be more than a monster.

This all comes back to the polka dots. Because Hadrian is kind to Royce, or “wears polka dots,” as it were, Royce thinks he is a kind person (though he usually uses the word stupid), and places trust in him, which also results in his being kind (in the big picture sense) to Hadrian because he doesn’t want to lose the one person he can trust. This unintentionally promotes Hadrian’s world view that kindness is mirrored back, and that how you treat others changes how you yourself are treated. So not only are they each other’s hope, but together, between the two of them and a few select others (such as Gwen), they are creating a world where unicorns exist.

This plays well into the idea of the stray dog. They see a couple strays throughout the book, who are compared to Royce and used to emphasize his world view. After all, a stray dog is kicked to the curb and fights for scraps and if it died no one would care, but every time they see a stray, they realize that it is wearing a blue collar, so it is not actually a stray. The fact that the collar is blue, the color of purity (which unicorns are also a symbol of), helps to indicate that the dog belongs to another world, a different, more magical world where it is loved. Royce, whether he realizes or not, also belongs to this world by virtue of being loved by Hadrian and Gwen. It is not insignificant that Gwen is painting the House blue at the beginning of the book, when that is their home base, nor insignificant that she is wearing a blue dress, since to Royce, she is the most pure thing he can imagine. 

Which makes me realize that I need another paragraph for Gwen, because she’s part of this too. Even if she is never called a unicorn, we have seen in previous books how she trusts Royce, and believes in Riyria, but also that she does not always think well of herself. The world has beaten her much in the same way it has beaten Hadrian, and though she suffered as the victim rather than the perpetrator, she still struggles with some of the same ideas of self worth. She thinks of herself as a prostitute, as someone no man has ever thought himself unworthy of, yet Royce thinks of her as someone you can’t just kiss, and calls Hadrian insane for even making the suggestion. His respect for her gives her hope, that maybe, just maybe, she really is more than a prostitute, and she in her turn believes in him, becoming another anomaly in his grim worldview just like Hadrian is.

Because Royce trusts Hadrian, and because Hadrian trusts him, and because they both trust Gwen and she them, they are all able to create their own little world where unicorns do exist, where there is hope, because they are able to afford it with someone who loves them. None of them are strays or monsters in the eyes of the others, they are all unicorns, and because someone else believes in them, they are able to have hope for themselves.

[restinthewest]

Y’all ever get frustrated with yourself wondering why you can’t just be normal and enjoy social/friendly dog breeds because life would be so much easier if you did

[nimeve]

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[salsa-ishida]

you're back!! it's been so long!! I missed you <3 <3

ahhhh I missed you too!! Life has been insistent on grinding me to a paste but we perservere

[dandyshucks]

everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;･∀･)

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[clever-and-unique-name]

Annoyed at work (what else is new), I'm tired of being the hypercompetent one. I want to be the one who just gets to decide not to do things, to slack off, to pretend not to know how to do something so it's not my problem to deal with. Because I get to handle all of my problems, PLUS the problems of every other person in the clinic. Yes, I like to help, but not when it's 3 people feeding their tedious problems to me to deal with, with ZERO consideration for what I'm already working on. They don't even stop to ask if I can help anymore, or if I'm busy (I always am, unless I physically remove myself from our shared space to vent post like I am now.) They just chuck their problem at me and get super surprised and deer-in-the-headlights when I tell them I can't help them right now and to try to figure it out themselves.

[mieczyhale]

my sister changed her profile pic from some pro-cop bs to trump 2024

she's got FAS and is very much a parrot (she copies what she hears around her. i.e being shit to my mom bc my dad is. he's been the biggest influence the last year as they were kinda stuck in the same room together) unintentionally so i know it's most likely that spending time around my dad when he watches the news is the culprit-

but that doesn't make me feel less angry and lowkey betrayed by it

and i can't say anything about it

[alongtidesoflight]

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