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simplee-dreaming · 3 years ago

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The Party

A/N: I spent far too much time deciding how all of their outfits were gonna look so I hope it paid off. Also, I know some things I mention have different names in different countries but I've gone for what I only know as the British version. Hope you like it! (Totally didn't get inspiration for this idea from driving past a joke shop myself...)

Word count: 2951

Summary: The reader attends her first themed party hosted by RDJ, but her outfit lands her in trouble.

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Tonight was the night. The night you had been waiting for for weeks. A party at Robert Downey Jr’s house. But not just any old party, oh no, a party for the Avengers cast. Not even just a party - a themed party.

See, Robert is well known for his themed parties. Of course he’s done the classics such as the black and white theme, the 80s theme, even the “dress as your favourite superhero” theme - what could be more suited? But he’s also well known for his unique themes. For example: dress as what you wanted to be when you were a kid; dress as your favourite fruit or veg; dress as another member of the cast; dress as your favourite gay icon. The list goes on.

This was your very first party with the cast though. Being the newest member, you were super excited to have a great night with them all outside of work - plus little Tom couldn’t stop guessing what this theme could be. It was, of course:

“Dress as your favourite board game.”

Yep. Board games.

You spent ages trying to figure out what board game you were going to dress up as. The main rule of the themed parties was that you couldn’t tell other people what you were going as unless you deliberately needed someone else to complete your outfit.

You were desperate for ideas now that the party was only a week away. It wasn’t until you were walking down the highstreet, and something in the shop window caught your eye, that you finally had an idea. You were standing outside of a joke shop, and in the window stood a dress...designed like a Twister mat.

Perfect.

The day had finally arrived. No one was filming today so you had all day to get yourself ready. Hair and makeup done, Twister dress on, ready to rumble.

You made your way to RDJ’s house at half 8 - late enough to not be the first one there but early enough to enjoy everyone’s company for longer. You smiled with glee as you stepped into the house. You were tingling with excitement as you walked towards the room where the music played. The minute you walked into the room, everyone approached you. And one by one you scanned them all to see what they were dressed as.

The first person you saw was Anthony, he was dressed up as Cards Against Humanity. Not quite a board game but funny nonetheless. The front of his outfit was completely black and the back was completely white. The writing on his front read “I drink to forget _____”, and the writing on his back read “Tom Holland”. You giggled.

Next was Scarlett. She decided to come dressed as Pictionary. Part of her outfit was made with polyester and nylon, and she carried around a whiteboard marker so that anyone could draw a picture on her outfit and others had to guess what it was. This could also be wiped off easily, ready for the next person to draw.

Sebastian was next, you snorted when you saw him. He was dressed as Frustration. His outfit was divided into the four colours: his top right being yellow, top left being green, bottom right being blue and bottom left being red. He had placed a semisphere plastic hat over his head and inside lay a foam dice which jumped about whenever he shook his head.

After Seb came Liz. She was dressed up as Uno. Her front and back were two different colours of the uno reverse card - the front being red and the back being green. The point of this is that whenever someone asked her to do something she didn’t wanna do, she’d just point to her outfit and get out of doing it.

Next was Paul B. He came as Trivial Pursuit. Random questions and answers were plastered all over his suit, such as: “how many feet are there in a fathom? 6”; “What three-word slogan was named the most popular advertisement ever in a 2000 poll? Beanz Meanz Heinz”; and his own personal saying, “Where do snitches end up? In ditches”.

Following Paul was the unsurprising double act. Big Tom and Hemsy. They had come dressed as Snakes and Ladders. Tom had glued a giant toy python to his all-black outfit, and Chris had stuck a cardboard ladder to the front and back of his all-white outfit. Simple, yet effective.

Then came Evans who was dressed as Noughts and Crosses, despite numerous comments from RDJ about it not being a board game. His back was full of paper noughts and crosses stuck to his top but his front had a similar material to Scarlett’s where the cast could play their own game on his front and then wipe it off for the next players.

You scanned little Tom next. He had gone all out with his outfit, dressing up as Operation. He was wearing a light pink coloured top and matching trousers and had stapled all the pieces of operation to their correct areas, such as the butterfly, the spare rib and the wish bone. He’d also used face paint to paint his nose a dark shade of red. Adorably creepy in a way.

Last, but certainly not least, was the man himself. Robert Downey Jr. He came as the popular game Cluedo. And boy did he look fancy. He wore a top hat that had a giant question mark stuck to it, and a tuxedo with a long sweeping tail attached to the jacket. Neatly placed all over his black suit were the names of the suspects, the names of the rooms and the names of the weapons - all written in white. He looked splendid.

“Twister. How unusual. I love it,” Robert said, the others nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, you all look incredible,” you said.

Little Tom held out his arm and led you to the dance floor where you spent the next hour dancing the night away. Big Tom and Hemsy were owning the dance floor with their moves. Many party classics blared through the speakers, including 5,6,7,8...which you knew the dance off by heart but RDJ had to be taught the moves by you and little Tom.

Another hour passed and you were sat with Scarlett, Liz and Paul in the other room where the music wasn’t so loud. Seb was with you but he had asked Liz to get him a drink and she played the uno reversal so now he was on drinks duty.

“Paul, can I borrow your suit just so I can literally look smarter?” You asked, he chuckled.

“Maybe I can just follow you around and relay the facts for you,”

“You could be the Yoda to my Luke. Though I think you’re too big to sit on my back,” you said.

“Here’s your punch,” said Seb, returning with two cups for him and Liz.

“Finally, what took you so long?” she asked.

“I stopped in the party room, Anthony and little Tom are having a competition to see who can do the macarena better,” he said.

“But...the macarena is the macarena…” you said, confused.

“Try telling them that. Tom insisted that the Brits do it better apparently.”

“Well, we do have some absolute bangers,” you chuckled. Paul agreed.

“So where did you get that dress?” Scarlett asked you.

“The joke shop down the highstreet. I was walking past it last week and found it in the window. Thought it would be perfect,” you shrugged.

“Until Mackie gets over excited and plays Twister on you,” Seb said.

“I’d like to see him try,” you replied.

“Ah, here’s the gang. What are you all doing in here?” Robert said, entering the room with big Tom and Evans.

“We’re just sat chatting….wait, have you left Holland and Mackie alone?” Seb asked.

“They’re fine, Chris is with them,” Tom replied. You tilted your head at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe I should check on them…” Tom said, you nodded and he left the room.

“Soooo, how’s it going?” Evans asked everyone.

“We’re all fine but Y/N is a bit twisted,” Seb said. Everyone laughed but you bonked him on the head, making the dice jolt.

“Oi!”

You giggled and slapped the plastic hat again, the dice landed on a 6.

“Eyy I get another go!” You cheered before bonking him on the head again. He sighed but chuckled.

“Well it’s nice to see her dressed as an actual board game,” Robert said, turning to Evans.

“Hey, that’s not fair! Noughts and crosses is a board game!” Evans protested.

“I wanna play,” you said. Evans smiled at you.

You got Liz to play with you and you went first. You decided to play as noughts and took the bottom left corner. After a few rounds, you got a straight diagonal line. You cheered as Liz huffed, but she congratulated you nonetheless.

“I wanna play pictionary now,” you said, turning to Scarlett. She smiled and handed you a whiteboard pen. You thought for a moment then began drawing.

You pressed down on Scarlett’s outfit to make sure you could draw properly. You ran the pen down her stomach and she giggled.

“Hey, careful, that tickles,” she said. You blushed and apologised but continued. Everytime the pen went over a certain spot Scarlett would giggle but she never flinched.

“Okay, I’m done,” you announced. Everyone leaned forward and groaned once they saw it.

“Really? You know none of us can say that,” Seb said.

“First one to say it correctly wins,” you shrugged. You had drawn Mjolnir, something that everyone struggled to say.

“Midge-oh-lair,” said Liz.

“Mjohn-ler,” said Seb.

“Me-joln-ier,” said Evans.

“Hey! It’s Mjolnir!” came a voice from the door. Hemsy had just walked in with Mackie, little Tom and big Tom.

“We have a winner,” you grinned and everyone groaned again.

“Okay now I wanna play snakes and ladders,” you said. You scrambled to your feet and launched yourself at Hemsy, climbing up his tall body and clinging to him like a koala. He laughed.

“Okay, and what do we do now?” He chuckled. You shrugged and hugged him tighter, he returned the favour.

“As nice as this is, princess, I can’t carry you around the rest of the evening,” Hemsy said.

“Alright, hang on. Gotta complete the game,” you said. You motioned big Tom to come nearer and leaned over to hug him. Your legs followed and wrapped around his waist before you slid down his body and landed on the floor. Tom laughed.

“Impressive,” he said. You lay flat at the floor and looked at him, giggling.

“You’re very playful today,” big Tom said.

“I’m just happy to be here,” you giggled, he smiled at you.

“Alright my turn, I wanna play twister,” Mackie said, launching himself at you.

“WAIT!” You cried, panicked by his sudden movement. Mackie didn’t listen.

“I’m not doing anything! I need someone to give me an instruction,” he said.

“Right foot red,” Seb said. Mackie lifted his foot and put it on the first red spot he could see, directly on your tummy. You giggled as he adjusted his foot, rubbing it against your tummy.

“Noho Anthony!”

He looked and realised what he was doing, then smirked and vibrated his foot on your tummy again. You giggled louder.

“The twister mat is making noises, how do I turn it off?” He asked.

“Um, try putting your left hand on yellow,” little Tom piped up. Mackie grinned as he spotted a yellow spot on your ribs. He put his hand down and gave them an “accidental” squeeze.

“Hehey!” You shrieked.

“Didn’t work Holland, anyone else?” Mackie said.

“Try right hand green,” Scar said, smirking. Mackie placed his right hand on the green spot on your side and squeezed again.

“Stohop!” You cried.

“Right well that didn’t work, and I can’t put my left foot on it otherwise I would break it. Any other ideas?” he said.

“You may have to push a few buttons, try turning it off and on again,” Paul said. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and shook his foot on your tummy. You screeched loudly.

“Nope, still making noises,”

“Let me have a look,” Liz said. Mackie had you pinned below his hands and foot. You started to giggle as you felt a single finger run up your neck.

“Nonono Lizzie!” You squeaked as she dragged a nail up the other side.

“There must be an off button around here,” she teased. She gently scribbled all her nails into your neck. You scrunched up your shoulders and shrieked.

“NOHOHOHO!”

“Definitely not here, you sure it’s not there Mackie?” Lizzie asked. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and your giggles turned to laughter.

“Nope, no no, that’s made it worse,” he said. “Someone try a blue spot!”

Evans jumped up and ran over to help. He found a blue spot right on your hip, he placed his hand over it and started squeezing.

“NAHAHAHAHAHA!” You screamed. Trying to buck your body was impossible with Mackie still pinning you.

“Dammit Evans you turned the volume up!” Mackie yelled.

“Maybe the problem lies outside of the mat itself,” big Tom piped up.

“What you saying Hiddleston? That we’re the problem?” Mackie asked.

“Not at all, just that there appears to be parts connected to the mat, but not part of the mat itself,” Tom said, putting his hand on his chin. He slowly approached you and swiped a single finger under your knee. You kicked it away.

“Now it’s malfunctioning,” Mackie informed him. Tom hummed and swiped a finger under your other knee. You kicked again. He then spider tickled under both your knees and you shrieked loudly.

“PLEHEHEASE I’M NOHOT BROKEN!” You screamed.

“God DAMN you made it talk!” Mackie yelled.

“I know what the issue is,” Robert said, stepping forward.

“Do go on?” big Tom said.

“You need to hit all the pressure points at once. It’s like a giant reset button, wear it down till it reboots itself,” he said. Everyone looked at each other.

“Position yourselves,” Robert instructed.

Mackie stepped off of your stomach and knelt by your left side, Seb knelt by your right. Lizzie was still up by your neck and big Tom by your knees. Scarlett was by your right shoulder, Paul by your left. Evans positioned himself by your hips, little Tom the other side by your thighs. Hemsworth and Robert sat next to your feet.

“Nonononono please!” You cried.

“Rebooting systems in 3…” Robert began.

“No please!”

“2…”

“Wait!”

“1…”

“No wait I’m not brOHOHOHOKEN!” You cried as everyone attacked you at once. No one was pinning you down but you could hardly twist and turn with 10 people tickling all your spots at once. They were all ruthless and yet...you sort of loved it.

“PLEHEHEHASE NOHOHOHO!” You cried, flailing your arms around. Mackie and Seb were squeezing up and down your sides and across your tummy, Lizzie was tickling deep into your neck, Scar and Paul had just caught an arm each and pinned it upwards so they could tickle your underarms, big Tom was scratching under your knees and squeezing the tops, Evans was squeezing and scribbling into your hips, little Tom was scratching up and down your thighs and Hemsy and Robert had grabbed a foot each to tickle. It was pure torture.

“KEEP GOING, IT’LL WEAR DOWN EVENTUALLY!” Robert yelled over your screams of laughter. Everyone picked up the speed and you screamed louder than ever before.

You now had your arms and legs pinned by Scar, Paul, Robert and Hemsworth so you tried to buck your hips as much as possible and scrunch up your shoulders to protect your neck but it was no use.

“NOHOHOHO MOHOHORE!” You cried. You let out another loud scream and fell into a silent laughter. Tears filled your eyes to the point where you couldn’t even see Lizzie kneeling over you.

“Reboot complete,” Robert instructed. He stopped tickling your foot and one by one the rest of the cast followed and ceased their attack. You lay there, taking in deep breaths of air.

“You alright twisty?” Mackie asked, sliding up to your head. You nodded, letting out residue giggles. Evans gave you a hand up and propped you up against the sofa.

“You...are...all...evil…” you breathed out. Everyone chuckled.

“You were in a playful mood, we wanted to join,” Evans said, winking at you.

“I never knew you were so ticklish,” Hemsworth said.

“So would you be if 10 people ganged up on you,” you replied. He laughed and nodded in agreement. Little Tom sat down next to you.

“You okay?” He asked, pulling you in for a hug. You nodded.

“Yeah...that was fun,” you clamped your mouth shut after realising what you just said.

“Fun eh?” little Tom teased, quickly spidering your side to make you giggle again.

“We had fun too if that’s any consolation? Could go for round two if you want,” big Tom said. You looked at him and smiled.

“Not today I don’t think, you guys well and truly broke me,” you said, everyone laughed.

“I think I’ve already decided on the theme for next year,” Robert said. Everyone turned to him.

“Tickle Me Y/N,” he said, “where everyone has to bring a random object to tickle Y/N with. First to make her say stop wins.” He winked at you and you blushed and hid your head in little Tom’s shoulder. He chuckled and stroked your head.

“Now that will be a fun theme,” Mackie replied.

#tickle fic #avengers cast tickle fic

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #462

i am way too tired to mentally flip through lyrics to put here, rip

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) I have zero idea. When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? The last time I visited Sara in Illinois. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? I think I got purple highlights? What was the first social media site you ever used? MySpace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? One. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Sara's house is lovely. Have you ever been catcalled? No. Are you allergic to any dogs? I might be. Have you ever touched a plant and had hives shoot up your arm? No. Do you think dragonflies are cool? Absolutely! What’s your favorite thing to draw? Meerkats!! Did you toss your hat in the air at graduation? Not high. I wanted to keep it. Do you like fudge? I CAN FUCKING DESTROY SOME FUDGE. Are you an affectionate person? Very. Name something you have to do today: Girt and I are hangin', making fun of bad Netflix anime and going to Buffalo Wild Wings. :^) Would you ever write to a death row inmate? No. People don't get on death row for no reason. I ain't got shit to say to them. Do you reckon online friendships are real? No fucking shit. Most of my most genuine friendships began online. Do you like Slipknot? Yep. Can we talk about how fuckin BADASS Corey's new mask is btw?????????? What do you think of Gorillaz? I like "Feel Good Inc." and one other song I can't remember the name of. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? BOTH!!!!! :') What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? GUYS I recently saw a picture of a little baby dressed up as a Little Oogie Boogie and it made my ovaries cry. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Jesus, Girt is a giant. I don't know about my shortest... If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you choose? Pastel pink. :') What has been the best night of your life so far? Why? Probably something sexual so let's keep it on the down low lmfaooo Would you ever even think about taking part in a wet t-shirt contest? Uh, no. Even if I WAS confident in my body. Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? No. It was dirty blonde. Have you ever been in trouble for being too loud? Ha, yeah, at school with friends. Not big trouble or anything, we were just hushed. Did you ever attend a wedding that was a complete disaster? No. What is something that you were surprised you were able to do? Hm. What is the most bullshit-sounding true fact that you know? Male cats have spiked penises lkasdjfal;kje;kjwr it's something to do with preventing other tomcats from mating with her. What Oreo flavor is your favorite? Gimme that Double Stuffed, friend. Sour gummy worms or plain gummy worms? SOUR. Ever been in a talent show? How many times? What did you do? Nope. Ever try out for the talent show and not make it? Did you cry? Nope. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried about? Y'all when I was a very little kid, during my older sister's b-day party, I sobbed because I couldn't pin the tail properly on the donkey lmaoooo How do you feel about the use of nuclear weapons? Absolutely fucking barbaric. What song has the most meaning to you? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus!!!! :') Have you ever made bread? No. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Pets, a baby I was watching after, and Jason. Ever been dominated in a game you were/are really good at? yep alskdjfla;jwej Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? Wild animal, I guess? Have you ever listened to a group of chanting monks? I haven't. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? Probably of Teddy. I've still yet to decide on the total design of his tribute tat I'm getting. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? I think so, yeah. How mad would you be if someone copied your original work (story, poem)? I'd be pretty fuckin pissed. Have you ever blown something up in science class? Ha, no. Have you ever gotten a serious wound from shaving? Not serious, no. Have you invented anything, only to find out it actually exists? I feel like I have? Ever realize you never truly LOVED your first love? Absolutely not. I loved him. Would you want a Bachelor/Bachelorette party before you get married? Sure, sounds fun. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? As of very recently, I returned to using pads. I used tampons for most of my maturity, but I got annoyed with them for TMI reasons and resorted back to pads, even though I don't like them either. Have you ever dated a model? No. What is your ultimate goal in life? To die happy with my life and what I (hopefully) accomplished. What colour are the socks you’re wearing today? I’m not wearing any. Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? Girt. It was something regarding how I once considered doing the suicide mission at BWW where you eat a select number of their hottest wings, but I didn't wanna die via chicken. :^) Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? I'm average in height. I wouldn't change it, nah. Especially now that Girt and I are together the ridiculous height difference is hilarious but also cute lmao. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Like, while I was there? No. Have you ever had casual sex? Nahhhh. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Chocolate. @_@ When you think of your childhood, are the memories mostly happy or sad? Mostly happy, I guess. What is it like being you? Is it enjoyable? It's very boring with few sources of joy. What are your thoughts on the cause of homosexuality? I would *assume* it's a genetic mutation. Reason being, having a romantic partnership without the ability to reproduce defies the motives of science. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, wrong with said (and hypothetical) genetic mutation, though. Mutations are just another part of science. They occur naturally. What subjects did you find most interesting in school? Least? Most interesting: literature/English (especially reading like, old mythology and epics and stuff like that), LOTS of branches of science (but primarily genetics), art, and I looooved my four semesters of German. Least: ANY and ALL math, history, economics, social studies... that kind of stuff. Which do you enjoy more–hot or cold beverages? Cold, for sure. What were some of your favorite bands from childhood? Green Day was one. Would you be more afraid of drowning or being buried alive? Buried alive, for sure. It would be much, much slower. Should you really be doing something more productive right now? Well, I SHOULD be sleeping. Today's going to be a long day, because when Girt comes over, he has a tendency to not leave until like fuckin midnight or later alksdjfl;waje Have you ever lived out of your car? No. Does your family own more than two houses? HUNNY we r poor. A relative just committed a very serious crime, do you turn them in? It depends on the exact crime, but odds are, yes. If you're endangering others, byyyyeeee. You’re in the woods, alone, at night…are you honestly not afraid? Bitch I'm terrified. I have zero survival skills. You are on life support, what would you want a loved one to do about it? For the love of god, please kill me. Your child has only a while to live, do you still enroll them in school? That would be up to them. Also, define "a while." How would you feel if you met your idol and they ended up being rude? WELP I have a tattoo in his honor so that would suck ass lmao According to the tale, was Eve wrong for eating and sharing the apple? "God was wrong for even setting up an apple tree and making up rules in the first place." <<<< There ya go. And the punishment was fucking ludicrously extreme. Are you working on any goals? Yes. I'm currently going to the gym regularly to try and better my physical health and then find a job. I know that being connected sounds odd, but trust me: I can barely carry out very simple tasks just because I have absolutely ZERO stamina to do almost anything. I need energy and endurance. I'm also working towards developing some self-love. Which parent named you? I wanna say my mom. Are you currently frustrated with someone? I mean, myself. Aforementioned self-love is hard. I'm just annoyed my head is so reluctant to accept that I'm not a piece of shit for a million reasons. Why have most of your past relationships ended? They all ended for different reasons, really. Are you having any online conversations, currently? I'm not. What’s on your mind? I'm just tired and going back to bed real soon. Have you ever had an argument with a teacher? No.

#survey #surveys #random questions

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shhhlikeme · 4 years ago

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Nin’s Matchup!

(SFW + NSFW)

Matchup Profile: Sfw+nsfw matchup pretty pls! (1/5) Name: Nin>Female>5’4>Film & sfx/theatrical makeup freelancer>V athletic in MS-HS: ballet, was in volley ball, soccer &Basketball teams>Miss my prime days>Scared to start workout again b/c I’ll get lightheaded>If sum1 helps push me through initial fear, I’ll keep growing from there> Likes chilling in ballet stretch poses>paints, photographs&draws as hobby>draws a pic a day (mostly portraits)>writing a comic atm >Always plan contingencies.🦄

(2/5) >embarrassed of my loud laugh(it’s like Kuroo’s)>introvert>not afraid to lead a team tho> V shy & quiet most times>8/10 times, feels awk in public,like idk what i’m saying, but others told me I seem social>Once I’m comfy w/ u, i joke a lot(occasional mum jokes 2 annoy+Sassy dirty ones w/ S/O)>hides behind ppl who likes 2 talk, but not when they’re 2 loud>laughs @ mistakes/when embarrassed>Will stop mistreatment, even if I get in trouble>values communication&genuine discussions🦄

(3/5) Sings when home alone>competes @ Street Fighter tournaments, trains everyday 4 it>Sings “Hit Me W/ Your Best Shot” when fighting bosses in game&swears melodically when i lose>eats chips w/ chopsticks >make hats out of my cat fur when bored>Workahokic night🦉>likes 2 teach >full convos w/ my 🐱>LIVES in oversized hoodies & flip flops, regardless of weather>no pants@home!>Feels incompetent sometimes, but keep practicing 2 improve>Analytical fast learner>idk why ppl think i look innocent🦄

(4/5)>Forgets 2 speak eng when tired (Thai 1st lang.)>Headrubs 4 s/o every night b4 bed>will miss u but is bad@texting>yelps like puppy when I’m surprised>Unconventionally resourceful: Wire hangers’s fixes everything! >stress bakes & will gets pouty if it didn’t turn out well.>overwhelmed to water my 50+ 🌱 >Doodles on smt (always have a pen on me)when i feel socially anxious> 2 dance sober @ clubs> Wants a stable relationship where we work tgt like a team to bring out the best in one another🦄

(5/5) I like a s/o who is lovable, kind, genuine, mature, independent and caring, but can also joke & be silly with like best friends. NSFW: open 2 try new things>❤️restraints, blindfolds & sensual tickle sex (as lee+ler) but had always been too shy to share it with any1>occasionally self conscious of food baby+stretchmarks>🥰edging/teasing >has a thing 4 height differences (likes to feel smol lol!) & primal play.>Is a switch. I’m so sorry if it’s too much info! Thank you for doing this!🦄

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A/N: HI LOVE @crushzone !!!! I SMILE WHEN I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS GIRL I WORKED HARD ON YOURS OF COURSE💖 But no matter whaaaat I’m going to be very authentic in my matchups bc they’re based on compatibility and therefore, without further ado, lemme introduce you to your NEW BAE:

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KŌTARŌ BOKUTO 🦉

SFW:

so you’re a theatrical makeup artist.

Aight.

Mind if I offer you a word of advice? :

RUN

“DUDE THAT’S AMAZING IT LOOKS SO SICK!”

Startled by someone’s loud booming voice, you smudged the eyeliner you were applying to your actor’s face all over their forehead. Whipping around to see who had disrupted your work you were faced with a beautiful black and grey haired owl. A rather tall... and very attractive ‘beautiful black and grey haired owl.’

He started walking around the dressing room like he owned the place, touching everything.

“Excuse me, you don’t have a badge. You can’t be backstage—!”

“Pretty obvious don’t you think, Miss ________?”

You didn’t take his bait, refusing to give this stranger your name. Bokuto shrugged.

“Well since I don’t know your name I shall label thee—Miss HOT GIRL of the 9 Kingdoms!” He nudged the knight actor who was sitting in your makeup chair with his elbow. “Did I sound 15th century ish or what??” The owl turned to you expecting to be praised. “I had to meet the person who made the medieval vampire look so scary in the last act. But that guy with the lights didn’t tell me anything about you being so hot.”

You were speechless because he was hot too

But he shouldn’t be back here so you tried to shoo him out anyway

He allowed you to try to shove him out but he was way bigger than you so nice try sis

When he yawned while you panted because you weren’t able to budge him an inch....

Bokuto wagered that he would leave if you agreed to make him look like the Hulk with your makeup skills for a Halloween party he had to go to

You didn’t really want to because you were a professional and you had no idea who this owl was but because you had 15 minutes until the second act and you needed peace and quiet if you were going to finish your job!!! ....

( This boy was not peace NOR quiet )

You agreed.... but because you answered so fast Bokuto kicked it up one notch

Prince of pushing his luck (king is reserved for Shōyo‘s extra ass)

He pretended to allow you to push him out of the makeup room a few steps but before you closed the door he stuck his foot between the door so it couldn’t close.

Smiling, he peered back in, looking down at you:

“AND...... you have to agree to go on a date with me. Tomorrow night?”

“Ugh FINE!”

Bo removed his foot and let himself out with a bounce in his step.

SERIOUSLY WHO LET THIS MAN BACKSTAGE......

Needless to say, after a few dates, mans won you over like he wins EVERYONE over

It surprised you how comfortable you became with him but he just has that affect on people

***

In terms of your athletic relationship Bokuto does many things:

He pushes you to go to the gym with him for one

He signs the two of you up for impromptu Beginner 30-day challenges that you both must stick to

So every morning for 30-days straight he jumps on you in bed to wake you up:

“NIN BABY TIME TO HIT THE GYM. BABY NIN TIME TO GET IN SOME SEXY GYM SHORTS. MON BÉBÉ NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN—“

“Kōtarō, please shut up.”

he doesn’t

He drags you there and eventually you get back into the swing of things.. killing it in the weight room with your supportive man cheering on your every rep!

You don’t even need him to wake you up during the second challenge!

Your volleyball player boyfriend also signs you up (without permission) for the neighborhood soccer team that Akaashi’s girlfriend is already on

You hated it at first because it was uncomfortable going back after not playing for so long but you soon realized that all the girls there were ex-athletes too and not stars

You formed amazing new girl friendships (especially with Akaashi’s gf) and double dates with them were one of your favourite nights of the week!

You owed that happiness in your life all to your Owl 🦉🥰

He and Akaashi came to every soccer game y’all had and you and the three of you went to all of Bokuto’s games, obviously

Btw you all were FITTTTTT OML

***

In addition...

You already know that your man finds your artistic talents insanely fascinating

On your first anniversary together Bokuto gifted you with a new paint set and new French stand:

Because he admires you Bokuto also tries to draw and paint seriously just like you

You stand over his shoulder and give him corrections and baby owl learns so fast it’s amazing

You two make ‘paint night’ a thing when you move in together and it’s always the most fun event!!!!

Bokuto CONSTANTLY and I mean CONSTANTLY asks for you to add him to the comic you’re writing but you say no because he wouldn’t fit in

He sulks but one day you surprise him by showing him that you drew a cute soaring black and gray owl in the background of almost every outdoor scene in your comic,

you pointed out that it was him

BOKUTOOOO WAS SOOOOO HAPPY

HE WAS SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS

He called Akaashi right away and almost cried tears of joy hahahahaha

***

Your contingent based lifestyle has saved your reckless boyfriend’s life and career many-a-times

It’s one of the things he loves most about you.

Also, it is important to mention that he is in LOVE with your laugh

Bby owl does anything to hear it and showers your face with kisses when you laugh to draw it out

He loves you so freaking much

When you don’t make sense and speak gibberish in public because your awkward side randomly comes out......your boyfriend loves to make fun of you:

“Huh? Nin, that wasn’t Japanese, that wasn’t Thai and that definitely wasn’t English. What planet is my adorable baby girl from, again? And how do I return her in exchange for a floating space car instead?!”

suh cute

All of Bokuto’s teammates really like you because you work in conjunction with Akaashi which means you actually have the magic ability to get Bokuto out of emo mode even faster than his best friend 🤯🤯🤯

When he’s at an away game in emo mode his teammates will literally FaceTime you and point their phone in his general direction

“Hey, Kōtarō!!!! Look, Nin’s on the phoneeee!”

Bby owl turns around slowly when he was sulking in the corner and when he sees you on the screen he’s running and jumping on whoever is holding your phone.”

“Kōtarō baby. You’re going to stop this emo mode right now. If not I won’t let you paint me nude like we discussed.”

mans was like: 😨😨😨😨🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

YEP the next second you see him hitting his best practice spikes and his teammate thanks you profusely

You do this several times until Kōtarō just knows to not go into emo mode anymore because you won’t be happy

A year into his professional volleyball career The Black Jackal’s coach sent a surprise fruit bouquet to your work one time:

With a note that read:

To Nin,

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

Love,

The Team

***

I know you don’t really like people who are considered “too loud” and Bokuto is like...... “MEGA LOUD 🎙 “ but you and Akaashi work together to quiet your boy down as he gets older

He’s perfect

And you love him

***

OKAY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST day THING:

You know how you like standing up for people (even strangers) and stuff?

Well one day, you and Bokuto get caught on a show called WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Where the two of you cussed out this cat-abusing actor on the show in a convincing scenario!

It was PRICELESS

Bokuto literally tells everyone that y’all are movie stars because of it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

***

More in the relationship:

Bo is always singing with you 💞 when y’all make breakfast it becomes a national sport to sing at the top of your lungs!!

And when he sees you eat chips with chopsticks he’s pulling a Hinata “🤩🤩🤩” face .

He begs you to teach him how

So you try

......and try

..................and try

He can’t do it bruv 😞

You see bby Owl’s emo mode return for the first time in like a year when the chip shatters between his sticks again

This time, you have to enlist Akaashi as the FaceTime saviour and Keiji just tells him:

“Bokuto. You should prefer eating chips with your hands anyway. It gets to your mouth faster.”

cue Bo’s 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 face

........And all is well again

There’s more:

So you’re a workaholic?

Bokuto is fine with that. He just makes you promise that he gets to take you out on your lunch breaks a few times a week or whenever he can

He’s so sweet and your coworkers are BIG jealous of your relationship

Your man BEGSSSSS you to teach him Thai but you find it too hard so when he’s travelling on a long flight he spends the time learning the language on YouTube (and actually get decent at it) so that he can understand you when you’re sleepy😴🥺💕

When Bokuto surprises you by wishing you goodnight in Thai before he falls asleep (while you’re giving him head rubs), your heart explodes BECAUSE why is he the cutest thing in the world ?!?!?!

RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION:

You don’t text/you’re bad at texting? That’s fine, mainly because bby owl is so busy with volleyball anyway, but if you don’t text him back when he is feeling needy the boy will call you 20 times in a row

When you finally pick up, your heart is beating like thinking it’s an emergency

But he will answer saying:

“Oh, no emergency. I just want booty pics. Please, Nin babyyyyy?”

you’re like: 😑

ANOTHER CUTE THING YOUR MAN DOES?????

AIGHT:

It’s cringey but.......

When you’re at work all day doing makeup and he’s home he will send you pics throughout the day of him taking care of your plants like they are y’alls newborn children:

His text:

Baby look!!! Ollie the Orchid grew to 7 inches today!!! Yesterday he was 6.8 inches!!!!! They grow up so fast 😭😭😭”

Your reply:

Not quite as long as your dick, Bo

His reply:

I hate when you get me horny when I’m trying to take care of the kiiiids 😭😭😭😭

Dkm

Of all the factors you look for in a man, Bokuto has all of them

Like I said he becomes much more mature when you and Akaashi are his closest compadres

What people don’t know is that Kōtarō is actually very mature he is just a hardcore optomist (besides emo mode lmao) so people often mistake him as immature or dumb

But He’s far from it and you see that everyday

It’s why you fell for him

When dealing with serious issues that life has to handle, you see a different side of Bokuto, a real side, the side he shows in every tough volleyball game when he makes you metaphorically step behind him so he can deal with any problem that comes your way

He would literally withstand all your battles if that meant you’d remain happy forever

We stan a relationship like yours💞

NSFW:

okay so you know how you chill in ballet 🩰 stretches sometimes?

THAT DRIVES KŌTARŌ WILD.

It turns him on so much and he is constantly testing how flexible you are in the bedroom

When you keep meeting his expectations he is POUNDING you cause he is so turned on

He fucking loves it

It also turns him on when you’ll be acting shy and stuff but then randomly you’ll lead your neighbourhood soccer team like a BAD BITCH

When he sees that he’s already asking Akaashi how long until the game ends because he’s horny:

Akaashi deadpans. “Too much information. And the game just started 3 minutes ago. Get a water and calm yourself.”

Bo is sad but it makes for one hell of a I’m-proud-of-you sexscape when you get home from your game!!

Your dirty jokes also turn Bokuto on.

A lot.

A lot a lot:

“Bo.....I was joking.”

“I know but if I hear the word ‘dick’ coming out of your mouth I automatically think of you blowing me so now I want us to go home.” He whines.

You sigh. He’s lucky he’s so fucking hot.

When you’re playing street fighter every night this boy will not leave you alone until you cockwarm him

“Nin can you pleaseeeeee warm my cock while you train? I miss you.”

Your concentration turns him on so he has to ask nicely 😊

You love his dick so of course you oblige

Bby owl is so happy just sitting there being in your company and in your warmth but sometimes or every time he ends up thrusting into you

Sometimes while he’s giving you deep slow thrusts he orders you to keep playing or he won’t get you off

Damn 🤤

Let’s not forget also that you drive your man wild by walking around the house in hoodies all the time and nothing else

Every day, another hoodie will be found in various RANDOM places in the house because Bo flings it off you before he makes love to you wherever, and they go missing

Finally, when you get all sad and pouty because one of your baker trials goes to shit (ruined chocolate brownies this time, boo 💔), your boyfriend is taking your hand gently in an instant, leading you to the bedroom:

“Don’t be sad my beautiful girl, you know how much I hate seeing you sad. It makes me sad.! Here, come in the room and sit on my face—I promise I’ll make you feel better.”

WELL DAMN—😳💦

Maybe you should screw up brownie recipes more often.

————————————

A/N: do you know the show what would you do??? Watch it on YouTube if you haven’t haha I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Bokuto being on it after reading your matchup profile!!!! I hope you liked it bb! Give me all your reactions, I want all the smoke 💞💞💞

#matchups #nin and bby owl #bokuto kotaro

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pavspatch · 4 years ago

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Hyde United v Burnley — a personal memory

This is my recollection of the Hyde United v Burnley FA Cup tie in 1983 and the events surrounding it. As Lockdown 3 has closed Tameside Local Studies and Archives Centre, I’ve been unable to double-check some of the facts. Even so, it’s how I remember things.I hope you enjoy it.

THE FA Cup first-round match at Burnley is unique in Hyde United's long history. While it was unquestionably one of the greatest events the club has known, it was also the most divisive.

Many supporters remember it as one of the best days of their life. Yet even now, almost 40 years later, there are others who will tell you they refused to go to the game and have never set foot in Ewen Fields since the autumn of 1983.

The cause of the controversy was the Hyde directors' decision to play the home tie at Turf Moor. Some saw it as sound common sense while others looked upon the switch as an act of betrayal. It can still fray tempers.

Perhaps things might have been a little calmer if the board had stuck to one consistent message. While I never believed Ewen Fields was capable of accommodating a tie involving a third division (league one) club — not from the moment the balls came out of the FA's famous velvet bag — the initial signals from the board were that the tie would go ahead in Hyde.

One or two directors may have got ahead of themselves before a final decision was made, and spoken out of turn. Possibly some people, including me, misunderstood. But when it was eventually announced that the game was being moved to Burnley the air was suddenly so full of the smell of burning rubber that it felt as though a handbrake turn had been made.

When Hyde United's journey to the first round began, the club wasn't really at peace with itself. At the end of the previous season the directors had astonished the fans by dispensing with the services of manager Les Sutton. After cryptic messages in the North Cheshire Herald, chairman Peter Pluck stated that Sutton's contract was not being renewed as the directors felt he had taken the Tigers as far as he could.

Many supporters begged to differ. Sutton was a popular figure who had won a stack of trophies including the Cheshire League championship which had led to Hyde returning to the Northern Premier League. They couldn't understand Peter Pluck's reasoning and didn't accept it. They felt there must have been some underlying issues.

Sutton's replacement was Chorley boss Peter Wragg. Maybe it was the fact he replaced Sutton in such controversial circumstances, maybe it was because Wragg had been a Stalybridge Celtic manager, but the Tigers fans never really took to him. When he quit in 1986, Wragg described his time at Ewen Fields as something like an unconsummated marriage. it had never quite worked out.

In some ways, Hyde were underachievers during his tenure. Although there were some very promising moments, including an appearance in the NPL Cup final, and some excellent signings, such as striker John Timmons, they never quite challenged for the title. League finishes were disappointing.

Yet they did reach the first round of the FA Cup for the first time in 29 years and it was at the end of a run that was far from easy and featured some memorable victories.

In the first qualifying round, Darwen from the North West Counties League, were expected to pose few problems and so it proved. They were dispatched 3-0 at Ewen Fields thanks to goals from Steve Johnson, Peter Coyne and Terry Cook. That, however, was as easy as it got.

Hyde's next opponents were Runcorn, then one of the most powerful outfits in non-league football and boasting a very impressive record in terms of silverware. They had been Alliance (Conference) champions in 1981-2; won the Alliance Cup, reached the FA Cup first round and finished fourth the year after; and were on their way to fifth place in the 1983-3 season.

In 1986 they were beaten finalists in the FA Trophy and starting a run of five consecutive Cheshire Senior Cup wins at a time when it was a very strong competition and taken very seriously. Runcorn, Altrincham and Northwich Victoria all played at non-league's top level while clubs like Hyde, Stalybridge Celtic and Witton Albion were ambitious and difficult to beat.

Even many of the the home fans, if they were honest, were expecting Runcorn to win. Yet the Tigers produced one of their best-ever displays to not only beat their mighty opponents, but humble them. It was giant-killing at its non-league best.

The difference between the sides was George Oghani, who rendered the gap in status between the two clubs null and void. Right from the start Runcorn had no idea how to handle him. George ran the game and claimed one of the goals in a 3-0 win, the others coming from David Holt and Peter Coyne. His performance has to rank as one of the greatest by a Hyde player.

And it wasn't only the Ewen Fields spectators who were impressed. George was barely out of the showers before being whisked to Burnden Park where he was signed by John McGovern. The deal would have put some welcome money in the Tigers' bank account but it also deprived them of their best player. That didn't bode well for the rest of the FA Cup.

When the draw was made for the third qualifying round it gave Hyde another home tie, but against Tameside neighbours Stalybridge Celtic whose boss was former Tigers star striker Pete O'Brien who would soon return to Ewen Fields for a successful stint as manager.

Although Hyde were were probably favourites, the Bridge would be no pushovers. There was a bitter rivalry between the clubs and while Celtic had ended the Seventies as the more successful side, the Tigers had overtaken them in the Eighties. It was a big match in every sense of the word and Stalybridge were more than capable of putting in the necessary big performance.

In the end, Hyde won 2-0 in one of the very rare matches at Ewen Fields to be marred by crowd trouble.

The fourth qualifying round put the Tigers 90 minutes from the first round proper, a stage they hadn't reached since 1954 when they lost to a third division (north) Workington side managed by Bill Shankly. It was good to dream but everyone knew Hyde had form for falling at the last fence.

In 1981 they had lost to Horden Colliery Welfare of the Northern League, so even though they got yet another home draw, there was a feeling of apprehension when they were paired with Blyth Spartans.

Blyth had a national reputation as an FA Cup team. In 1978, in times when everyone wanted to win the competition and no one fielded weakened sides, they had almost reached the quarter-finals which was an unbelievable achievement for a non-league outfit. Among their victims were Stoke City.

The Northern League was also something of a mystery. It included clubs such as Bishop Auckland and Crook Town who had dominated the old FA Amateur Cup, but it had remained separate from the newly-established non-league pyramid. It was known for good teams, tough-tackling and unwelcoming grounds.

A big crowd gathered at Ewen Fields to watch the tie on October 29 and there was a belief that the "impossible" might happen when Hyde took the lead through Peter Coyne. In those days, before the ground was redeveloped, the hardcore fans packed into the Tinker's Passage stand behind the Mottram Road goal and on the day the noise was deafening and the atmosphere electric.

But Spartans came back to grab an equaliser and a replay. Two days later it was discovered the winners would be home to Burnley. It was the perfect first-round tie but no one relished the thought of an early-November midweek trip to a ground north of Newcastle and with a small squad affected by injuries. The odds were firmly stacked against the Tigers going through.

As I was a postman and needed to be in work at the old Hyde Sorting Office at 5am, I was unable to go. In those pre-internet, pre-mobile phone days I had to rely on someone to call me with the result.

I fully expected the worst but when the phone rang, Dave Gresty informed me over a crackly line from a Northumberland phone box, that Hyde had actually won 4-2. Even though we only had 11 fit players, and Peter Wragg had been forced to name himself as sub, we had achieved the unexpacted. Wraggy celebrated by pouring the trainer's bucket over himself. Gary Blore, Peter Coyne, Charlie Pawsey and Kevin Glendon were the scorers.

The next morning, wherever I went, I was asked the same question: would Hyde really face Burnley at Ewen Fields? My reply was always that I couldn't see how it would be possible. But eventually I was abruptly told by a director that the tie would be played at home, so that's what I told people and the view that gained general acceptance over the next day or two.

Whether that director spoke for the club, or spoke too soon, I don't know. He may have thought the rest of the board would follow his lead, he may have got ahead of himself or he may have been talking through his hat, but as the realisation dawned that the tie had been switched, disappointment mixed with anger in many parts of the town.

To be fair, when club chairman Peter Pluck spoke to the supporters he made some very valid arguments. Although modernisation had begun at Ewen Fields it was in a dilapidated state. The main stand was made of wood and rather than having seats it had benches. No one was sure how many people could fit into it comfortably. There was no directors box. The so-called boardroom was small and grubby.

Nobody really knew the ground's capacity. Old programmes had given the record attendance as 9,500 against Nelson in 1950, yet the actual crowd that day was 7,200. As Peter Pluck said, if 5,000 tickets were sold but the stadium was full at 4,000, there was little to stop the other 1,000 pushing down a wall or fence to get in.

There was a general lack of manpower and facilities for a game that would attract thousands. There were many safety questions. How would a programme be produced and distributed considering it was usually printed on a hand-cranked duplicator in a garage? And of course the financial implications couldn't simply be ignored. Hyde would make a considerable amount of much-needed money by playing at Turf Moor in front of a much bigger crowd.

Of course these arguments cut no ice with some people and still don't. Even though the supporters club committee only numbered about a dozen, ranging from some who did a great deal to some who did relatively little, chairman Alan Barton was bitterly disappointed by the decision to switch.

The atmosphere became even more heated when Reporter sports editor Martyn Torr weighed in. Forty years ago the paper was required reading for anyone interested in Tameside football carrying columns of reports, news and gossip. In a strongly-worded editorial Torry railed against the Hyde directors and accused them of looking after the gin-and-tonic brigade instead of the ordinary fans. That was taken to be a swipe at Peter Pluck.

A week later, the argument raged on in the Reporter in a way that would be unthinkable now. The newspaper, which was broadsheet in those days, must have had two pages of letters on the subject of Hyde United v Burnley. The town was divided and it seemed there was no middle ground.

Even so, on November 19, 1983, the tie drew the biggest FA Cup crowd of the day — more than 9,000. Hyde United Supporters' Club must have organised at least ten coaches while others made their own way to north Lancashire.

And those who did go witnessed a splendid performance by the Tigers who were in no way intimidated by an expensive side managed by former Manchester City boss John Bond and featuring players like Scotland international Tommy Hutchinson and million-pound man Kevin Reeves. Hyde may have lost 2-0 but they fought every step of the way and Kevin Glendon was so impressive that Bond signed him.

The line-up on that day was Colin Darcy, Tony Steenson, Kevin Glendon, Steve Johnson, Gary Blore, Brian Hart, David Holt, Peter Coyne, Charlie Pawsey, Terry Cook and Barry Howard with Peter Coutts as substitute.

Somehow, for all the tempers lost and cheers raised, for all the highs and lows, for all the emotion expended, everything ended on a comic note.

As it was such a landmark day in Hyde United's history, the directors had decided to have the match videoed, which was quite a radical move for 1983 when affordable VCRs had only just come onto the market. There was one tape, and it was duly given to Peter Pluck to look after.

Some days later, Plucky decided to watch it and pushed the cassette into his machine. The titles flickered up showing "Hyde United v Burnley (FA Cup)" and then there was a bit of a snowstorm followed by some jaunty yet by familiar music. The no-recording tab hadn't been snapped off and Peter's young daughter had used the tape to record Tom and Jerry cartoons.

A great moment in history was lost, but it's probably better to end with laughter than anger.

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thevampireauthoress · 5 years ago

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One-shot fic: Decaffeination

The good doctor slouched over his desk, bullets of November rain pelted against the window and the glaring light from the screen was making his head ache. His chest heaved in a sigh as his head lifted to look at the clock. The numbers swam as he squinted, it was past eleven. His hand shook as he reached behind his laptop and found a host of forgotten mugs in varying states of emptiness. Drawing one out, he peered into the ageing liquid, the smell made his stomach turn. Pushing it hastily away, he took a moment for his gag reflex to settle before he reached back again. Grasping as many half-finished beverages as he could, he rose and strode with as much purpose as a newly risen corpse across the moth-eaten carpet.

The kitchen was lit by a stark, unshaded bulb, accentuating the white paint and cracked linoleum all around him. Watching the rancid brew swirl down the drain; he thought back to his vacation, it seemed so long ago. Listening to the dull, continuous stream of droplets against the windows, he wondered if he covered his ears just enough the rain would sound like waves. Perhaps if he turned on all the lights and the oven he could recreate a portion of the sun he had lounged in. He could sit on a raggedy deckchair he’d brought in from the balcony before the miserable weather set in and block it all out, at least for a while.

With a sigh that made cheap blinds clatter; the doctor dismissed the lingering longing, what was the point? It would only affect his electricity bill. Switching on the kettle, he reached into the cupboard, scanning labels for the instant liquid life he craved.

It wasn’t there.

He’d forgotten it.

A groan welled up from the depths of him, a mournful howl for his productivity. He snatched the next best thing and slammed the cupboard door, ripping open the box of tea like an animal.

While it brewed he stared at the mug. No.1 Best Teacher Doctor, it proclaimed. Chase had given him the mug as a gift, on his better days it could make him crack a smile. Sighing again, he lost track of how much sugar he spooned into his tea. Removing the teabag and adding the last of the milk, he went back to his desk. The words on the screen danced a tarantella in front of his eyes, his vision protesting his destructive work ethic. An annoyed growl rose in the back of his throat as he snatched up his tea and opened the door to the outside.

Exiting onto the balcony, his breath misted the glass for a moment. The precipitation had cleared somewhat, enough to lean on a balcony door without worrying about wind direction. Sliding the door shut behind him, he gazed across the skyline, lights winking over the city.

Something caught his eye on the street below, it was about the size of a large bird and a shadow was hot on its heels. It took the doctor a moment to realise what the object was as the strong winds carried it. It was a hat and a man who clearly belonged to said hat, desperately chasing it through the rain. As the doctor watched the cat-and-mouse game the man and his hat seemed to be playing, he found himself smiling, the man’s exaggerated physicality reminded him of movies from a bygone era.

Henrik stifled a cheer as the gentleman caught his flyaway headwear and dashed off into the night.

He continued to look down at the street. The city already had the decorations out, tiny fairy lights flashed in the bare trees, glittering like diamonds on the pavement.

A lighted banner with WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS was hung over the street, as it had been every year since Henrik had moved here. The good doctor did not celebrate Christmas himself but his ex-wife and children had loved the season.

He wondered idly, as he sipped his cooling tea; if he cleaned and put up the few decorations he had, whether his children could spend Christmas with him. Were they too old now for toy stethoscopes and fake thermometers? Maybe, if he was lucky, he could get the big day off. Roast a crown of turkey, and some frozen potatoes and parsnips.

Or if that was beyond his cooking capacity, he knew of a bagel place run by a Jewish family who were (rightly, Henrik noted) proud of their salt beef, he could teach them about Hanukkah in the process, maybe... maybe...

Doubt seeped into his mind, the hospital was already short-staffed and his vacation had used up all of his holidays. Stress creeped up his shoulders as he set down his half-empty mug and fell back into his habit of pacing, remembering the holiday accidents that happen without fail every year.

Henrik shook the thoughts from his head before they could take root, even if he couldn’t have his children for Christmas, Chase would probably be up for a stiff drink and a game or two after he finished work at the ER. They could order a pizza and shoot the shit until one of them fell asleep on the sofa, that would suffice and it would keep Chase out of trouble.

In his absentmindedness, the good doctor found himself in the doorway of his bedroom. He considered going back to work, but stopped himself; the unmade bed looked comfortable and the pillows soft and inviting. Pulling off his clothes and stepping into flannel pyjamas, he collapsed onto the mattress. No matter how much caffeine and sugar may have been in that tea; the good doctor fell into a sleep that was deep and, for the first time in so long, dreamless.

......

Jameson / Jackie / Marvin / Chase / Anti(?)

......

Okay, I’ve never written fanfic before (and this was longer than I intended); I’m so much more confident using my own characters, but it was good practice for sticking to characterisation. I’ll be honest, Schneep isn’t my favourite ego, but I tried my best using what I knew for sure about him. I’m 4 weeks too late for his week and I haven’t edited properly but I’ve been very busy... so there!

(Schneep doesn’t mention Jack being in a coma because I couldn’t figure out in my 3am writing sessions how to make it work without being super sad)

..... get ready for other ego one shots coming soon, any constructive feedback you could give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Um... I’m tagging everyone who said they’d like to read it/liked the post asking if people would read it, so Geronimo I guess: @kate807 @drunkpmacultist @sptgd @lilakennedy @kcarrollworld @khushiudasi @luvstoriesatstoplights2 @flamingarbagecan @rozapast @aaliyah-j-hall

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye community #jse egos #henrik von schneeplestien #youtuber egos #fanfic #ego fanfic #the good doctor #jacksepticeye fanfiction #the vampire talks shit #the vampire writes #schneeplestien #dr schneepelstien #scheep appreciation week #decaffeination one-shot

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mutantenfisch · 6 years ago

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Repost from deviantArt! This is actually an ass-old thing I made during Summer Break in 2016!

EDIT: Turned one huge file into 5 smaller ones and painted a quick sloppy and anachronistic sports-bra for Rel.^^

Anyway, I think it's pretty obvious for which panels I've actually used references and which were drawn less carefully. My vicious scanner adds to the trouble and not let us get started on my laziness....

I didn't have the room to put all my thoughts into the panels (and I'm quite sure there is already too much text), so be prepared for the off-commentary of each panel.

1. : This is basically my first attempt at drawing meric faces. I just didn't get her mouth right, though, so her expression is something like a failed attempt of a badass expression.

2. : Yes, that guy is supposed to be Hadvar. I don't know why he's blushing, maybe he just feels ashamed for his always-pissed commander. Or because Rel's wearing an amulet of Mara...

For Relmaris I had in mind, that she is probably the daughter of a travelling merchant/apothecary couple who left Morrowind during Red Mountain's latest eruption and didn't want to go to Solstheim, since they had "enough snow and ashes for more than one life". She grew up mostly in Cyrodiil and got into some trouble with the Thalmor there, because of how her parents raised her, religiously.

3. : This is, to be honest, the most fun part in-game - sneaking into camps, caverns and so on, taking out thugs while they can't do anything and increasing your archery and stealth abilities on the go.

4. : Yes, I really disliked Cicero when I first met him and it was exactly the other way around with Ulfric Stormcloak (whose body is supposed to be shown there, too...). During the progress of the game and the story, I began to sympathise with Cicero, even though he's ...difficult.... as a follower and my sympathies for Ulfric faded more and more. There are other people and factions I maybe dislike as much as him and his purpose, or even more, but since I wanted to bring in this Don McLean reference so badly, Ulfric was the one who took the shortest straw.

5. : Legate Fasendil. I think he is the dream of many Dragonborn characters (and their creators). For an Altmer he is incredibly sexy and I as a player really enjoyed seeing such a masculine elf. Revyn Sadri, on the other hand, was really cute when Rel first stumbled into his shop and she likes his straightforward fair-mindedness.

Biography-wise I imagine Rel to really fall for the legate, since they have many things in common (being far from a home they barely know/remember, hating the Thalmor, having seen many terrible things...) but on the other hand I think Revyn is better for her as some kind of anchor in her troubled life. I must say, because of the conversation you have with him, I think he hasn't always been a trader. His commentary on the size of the house (and Rel lives in Proudspire Manor) made me assume that he might know even better and probably more noble houses.

6. : I think this quest is everyone's favourite. I enjoyed the part about Gleda most. And Sanguine is such a cheeky trickster. I remember, back when my first Dovahkiin met him and joined in the drinking game, I was like "WTF? Why am I in Markarth now? And I did WHAT to WHOSE statue????". With Rel now, I experienced something new as a player: When Rel was hiking in the mountains of Reach, an Argonian called Deep-In-His-Cups approached her and brabbled something about a hat. She talked him down to 750 Septims for the worthless hat and he walked away. This guy was even stranger than the madwoman who wanted me to use Sheogorath's Wabbajack on her.....

7. : Whole-heartedly the College of Magic! Rel is officially Arch-Mage now and I think her former class-mates are just the cutest kids in Skyrim. Especially Onmund and Brelyna. And now, after installing the English version, I was very positively surprised about Onmund's voice. I didn't expect one so pleasing to my ears as his. And J'zargo, you suicidal little cleptomaniac, you. As a follower you were really cool, but would you please stop jumping into Rel's way when she's casting flames?

8. : There it is - hobbity, silver-eyed me, wearing a Bowie-shirt. Since I only just started playing Oblivion, I really have no idea, what would happen if these two met, so I chose the other option instead.

9. : I think this is really self-explanatory. Anyway, when I was wandering through the volcanic fields of Rift for the first time, I was laughing so hard at this sight. Unfortunately, back then my other Dovahkiin, accidentaly stole a piece of clothing from the hunters and had to kill all of them. Rel doesn't make this mistake, that's for sure!

10. : I admit, this is my favourite drawing of this whole thing and I do ship them. Very hard. I didn't want to put a mature content on this, nor cover their perfect bodies, so go with the Barbie-breasted version instead. If Mattel can sell nippleless adult-women-shaped dress-up-dolls to children, I can upload this drawing to tumblr. Or not, apparently. So here’s the ugly sports bra version.

11. : Khajiit. What else can I say. I love them. Their faces, their accent, their background (minus the Skooma smuggling) - they are the best invention for this game, ever. And I would be really happy, if The Elder Scrolls VI played in Elsweyr and we get to see more than just this one breed of Khajiit.

#art #mutantenfischart #nsftumblr #elder scrolls #skyrim #character meme #let's see if tumblr allows this #i'm still super proud of it #relmaris dralur #legate fasendil #cicero #khajiit #dunmer #altmer #brelyna maryon #onmund #j'zargo

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bookenders · 5 years ago

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11/11/11 Tag Game: Rounds 24, 25, 26, and 27

Tagged by the wonderful @corsairesque, the lovely @azawrites, the stellar @sunlight-and-starskies, and the incomparable @inexorableblob - thanks!

And @inexorableblob, thank you for letting me rewrite the end of The Great Gatsby. It was very cathartic.

Rules: Answer 11 questions, write 11 questions, tag 11 people!

Bilbo Taggins: @aurumni-writes @quilloftheclouds @aslanwrites @starlitesymphony @writingonesdreams @waterfallwritings @cataclysmic-writer @ren-c-leyn @timefirewrites @minusfractions @ink-flavored - and if you like the questions and aren’t tagged, feel free to answer them! And tag me so I can see!

My Questions:

How many licks would it take for your OCs to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

What are your favorite smells?

What’s the book you’ve read most recently? What did you think of it? What impressed you? What would you have done differently?

What are your thoughts on mugs?

If your OCs had a comic book series/graphic novel about them, what would it be called? What would be on the cover? What would the art style be?

Can you draw a bear?

Do you do any other kinds of art? Are you ever influenced by other kinds of art? What about other areas like science or mathematics/other disciplines?

Have you read any craft books or writing advice books? If yes, how have the helped or hindered you? Which would you recommend? If no, would you ever consider reading them?

What are your favorite kinds of narratives? What narrative structures do you prefer to write and what do you prefer to read?

What’s your favorite recipe?

What are some signs that make you consider setting a project aside vs continuing with it?

As always, answers under the cut!

@corsairesque‘s Questions:

1. Do you create playlists for your stories or characters?

I do!

Here’s a detailed post about how I make them.

This is Mel’s from H2H.

This is Gemma’s from H2H.

This is one for the story I recently posted.

And I have one for each WIP on my WIP page! (Mostly, I’m still working on Fish Food’s.)

I actually have folders in Spotify for my characters and stories. Each one gets a playlist.

2. What is your stance on endings that don’t end with some hope?

Sometimes a story needs to have a certain ending to have an emotionally satisfying conclusion. I don’t think hope is absolutely required for an ending. I’ve ended stories without hope because that’s how the story ends. If I wrote it to conclude with an upturn, it would’ve been disloyal to the narrative. Like life, not everything ends happily, or with a positive outlook.

If you want it from a more technical perspective, there are three sorts of endings: positive, negative, and neutral. They can mix and match, but these are the three base ones. I tend toward neutral or positive-neutral endings. The best story I’ve written so far has a negative-leaning neutral ending because it concludes with a loss that does not promise hope. Positive endings are not necessary for a narrative, or for a conclusion.

Sometimes you need to write a hopeful ending. Sometimes you need to read a hopeful ending. And sometimes you need to read or write something that ends on a down-note. I know I have.

So, TL;DR, there is no ending hierarchy. It all depends on the reader and the writer, what they need, and what the story demands.

3. What author would you love to hear feedback from on your WIP?

Of literally anyone? Dead or alive? I mean. I’d love to hear what Flannery O’Connor would have to say about my short stories. I try to do a remix-version of her moments of grace in each of them.

4. What is the genre of your WIP(s)?

I mention these on my WIP page!

Most of my short stories are literary and contemporary fiction. My longer projects tend toward low fantasy.

5. How do you come up with new ideas for your WIP(s)?

I don’t have a method or anything for idea generation. My brain works in the background while I’m doing other things, so I’ll be washing dishes, or brushing my teeth, or writing something else, and an idea goes HI HELLO WHAT ABOUT THIS HUH? and I scramble to write it down.

Most of the time, my story ideas come from cool sentences I think of while observing. That sounds super weird and nerdy, but it’s true! When I’m bored or need to occupy my brain or just sorta feel like creating something spontaneous, I’ll look around and figure out how I’d write about a certain thing in the vicinity.

Some examples of this from my phone notes:

“Laughter echoing through a cave, bouncing off the walls, the gift of hearing it over and over until it fades like gentle waking”

“Cheeks baked pink from the flush of her modesty”

“The last remnants of home, the dirt hidden beneath their fingernails”

“Headlights flicker between the gaps in the barrier like a slipstream of stars”

Ya know, stuff like that.

Sometimes, if I’m stuck while writing and need a thought, I look at the plot and think up complications for my characters to face. That’s how I figured out how to make Lithium 100% more plot relevant. I thought, okay, so she has this role right now, what can I add to make her stand in the way of X plan while also being an asset to Y? And boom, idea generated and problem solved.

6. What do you use to keep all your writing on? (Scrivener, Google Docs, good old pen and paper…)

I use Scrivener for all my main writing. I have a ton of phone memo notes for ideas on the go. I have a notebook full of random stuff for when I’m blocked and need to hand write something.

I also answered this further down!

7. What gave you initial inspiration for your WIP(s)?

H2H: There was a publisher who had a call for shapeshifter stories, and then I missed the deadline so I decided to try for a zine instead, then I got rejected, so I made it into my own thing.

AOPC: I needed to flesh out a piece of my homebrew DnD world, so I started worldbuilding, then it was my turn to turn in a story to be workshopped in my writing class, so I wrote a thing set in the village about the tribe and it all spiraled out from there.

FF: I had an errant thought about the script that hero and villain stories follow and wrote a thing about what would happen if one of them decided to deviate from it and BOOM the plot hit me like a semi truck.

Almost all of my short stories start with a sentence I think sounds really cool, a tone I want to try to capture (ex. the feeling of standing inside an old cathedral), or the ending moment of a character arc (I tend to work backwards).

8. How long have you been working on your WIP(s)?

I’ve been working with Heart to Heart since November 2018. I started thinking about Fish Food like 3 months ago I think? And I got the idea for All Our Painted Colors 3ish years ago, but it started as a short story that I thought about expanding about 8 months ago.

My writing process starts with a long period of thought percolation before I write anything definitive down.

9. What was the first thing you came up with for your WIP(s)?

H2H: The fact that the main character is an apothecary who uses recipes from historical documents to brew things and lives in a small town, and that their love interest changes shapes in some way.

AOPC: That the tribe is a society based around body paint, art, preserving their personal history, and stories. But mostly paint.

FF: The hero danging over a pit of hungry piranhas and asking the villain a question that throws off the whole “death threat” vibe.

10. Have you considered Hogwarts houses for your characters? If so, what are they?

Answered this for the H2H cast here.

As for the Fish Food cast:

Iron Will - Hufflepuff

Overseer - Ravenclaw

Nightmare - A Hufflepuff who asked to be in Slytherin and the hat said “yeah okay”

Lithium - Gryffindor

Babylon - Slytherin

Sparkplug - Gryffindor

11. What do you find easiest to write? (Description, dialogue, etc.)

Interiority! Free indirect discourse! Unvoiced character brain thoughts! Which I guess means description?

Writing dialogue sucks old car tires!

@azawrites‘ Questions:

what’s the best part about your writing style? I like how I build up to emotional punches. It’s like walking up a ramp, but in a literary way. And at the top of the ramp you either get a gut punch of feels or an ice cream cone.

do you write on the computer or on paper? I do most of my writing on my laptop because my hands can’t write fast enough to keep up with my brain. My typing is way faster. If I’m having trouble getting an idea down, or the tone of the writing lends itself to being handwritten (idk how to describe this, but sometimes words just gotta be scribbled, ya know?), I’ll hand write it in pen. I don’t use pencils anymore because I wasn’t allowed to in college and it kinda stuck.

what are your favourite books and why? Oh, no, there are too many. So I’ll just say my top book: The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien because of how it deals with stories and grief and remembering, the fact that it’s a story cycle (which is very cool), and the way he writes - it’s beautiful and sad and messed up and poignant. I love it.

why did you start writing? I’ve answered this before, but there was never really starting point for me. It’s just something I’ve always done.

why did you continue writing? Because I had too much fun to stop! I also get creatively constipated, I guess is how I would phrase it, and need to have some sort of narrative outlet or my brain gets really mad at me.

where do you usually write? Pretty much anywhere, but most often at my desk. I think I need a taller chair, though...

can you describe your favourite piece (written by you) in one sentence? Let’s get authory with this one: The teacher hands out the tests, multiple choice this time, but when the stapled packet slides across your desk, there’s something odd about it, something that brings the war to life inside your head, a long-forgotten voice that speaks the souls of the soldiers and tells their stories from the annals of history. Or: A multiple choice test about WWII that tells the story of 4 men from Company B from enlistment to the end of their campaign.

what’s one cliche/trope you overuse, but still like anyway? It’s a trope when it comes to my own writing, actually. Person Sits Alone in the Dark and Contemplates. I love it, I abuse the hell out of it, and I will never stop.

what music do you listen to when working on a WIP? Depends. I have a go-to Writing Flow State song, playlists to help me get in the right head space when writing certain characters, and playlists that help guide the tone of a story. I can never listen to movie or video game scores because the association of song and cinematic moment is too strong for me.

have you ever dreamed of a fictional character? Uh, I have the occasional nightmare about Kokopelli? Does that count?

what’s one thing that makes you automatically dislike a book? Overly pretentious first person POV prose (and I don’t mean purple. I mean a character who - honestly and without a hint of satire - thinks like a writer from the 1920s who just discovered what “paid by the word” means and believes they’re the wisest human being in the universe and everyone who doesn’t agree with them is the basest of idiots - barf). Gratuitous female violence. The use of the word “loins” outside of an animal context. Everything about The Beginners by Rebecca Wolff.

@inexorableblob‘s Questions:

Which of your characters could you write as twice their current age? Oh, man, I think writing Iron Will in his forties or fifties would be really cool. It’d certainly give the story a new commentary twist.

Which of your characters could you write as half their current age? (I’m not gonna cheat and say Mel, I promise.) I think writing a 30yo Treena would be very cool. However, writing a 13 or 14yo Lithium who is just learning how to use her super powers would be WILD.

What big city would your characters do best in? London? New York? Tokyo? Mexico City? Rio? The Fish Food characters would all do best in New York or London, since they’re very close to Conover. Lithium would prefer Rio, though, and Babylon would lobby for everyone to move to Tokyo. The H2H characters would do best in Mexico City or London, depending on who decides to take charge and teach everyone the local customs.

What would your characters do if they were in a small rural community that was attacked by underground worms? This is giving me too many ideas for H2H. Gemma would be a little bit furious, since she hates having to get rid of animals, especially when they’re invasive. If the worms just minded their own gosh dang business then everyone could live in peace. If we’re talkin’ normal sized worms, like worm-sized worms, then Gemma would develop a pesticide that wouldn’t kill them, but force them to the surface where they would then be stunned by whatever weird solution Mel comes up with. Then the town would have a Worm-Off, where the person who collects the most worms wins free pie for a year, courtesy of Harry’s. If we’re talkin’ DnD-style Purple Worms, like Beetlejuice worms, then Mel would take over. She’d help organize an evacuation and steal Oz’s gun, just in case. Then she’d do some spoilery things with Gemma assisting.

What is the worst place where you’ve ever wanted to write? Probably while I was taking the math section of the SATs. Kinda inconvenient, brain, thanks for that. Other terrible places: mid job interview, in the middle of an empty street at midnight, anywhere I’m sitting where I have terrible posture, watching a slam poetry event in a very crowded bar, etc.

What’s the most uncomfortable subject you’ve ever written about? I’ve written a little bit about hate crimes and loathed every second. I’ve written a character actively contemplating suicide (he was a WWII soldier) and that was not fun at all. I mean, I also wrote a paper about sexy (somewhat graphic) wlw poetry for my Sexuality class, which a lot of people would be uncomfortable with, but I thought it was a very good collection. Go read Marilyn Hacker’s stuff, it’s good.

If you had to change the ending of any famous novel, which would you pick? The Great Gatsby. We don’t end with the green light, screw the green light. Gatsby wills all of his possessions and wealth to Nick and Nick becomes the next James Gatz. But this time around, he pines for the man who was killed in the pool just below his balcony while pretending to love Jordan, who finds out and amicably marries him because 1920s. She then uses Nick/Gatsby’s money to purchase an automobile manufacturing company and makes cars in every color but yellow. (Gotta maintain that color symbolism for F. Scott, I guess.) Nick discovers Gatz’ old bootlegging and illegal activities buddies and starts up a criminal empire. He and Jordan become the biggest, queerest, most spiteful and angsty crime bosses in New York. Nick makes it his life’s mission to take down false accusers, vigilante style. The car manufacturing company is what they use to launder money. Daisy divorces Tom because they’re both terrible people. Daisy takes her daughter and moves to California. Jordan sends Daisy’s daughter money secretly, about a hundred dollars a month. The last line is something about how Gatz was always reaching out and chasing green, but because of him, Nick is steeped in dark, bloody red. I would then write a sequel about Nick and Jordan and their crime empire that spans the East Coast. God, I hate this book.

If you had to change your life, what would you change without regret? Start therapy way earlier, 100%. That would have saved me a lot of nonsense.

If the end of the world where scheduled a week from tomorrow, what would you do? Would you tell anybody? Everybody? Keep it a secret? Assuming this was legit and the end of the world was actually happening, I’d probably try to tell some big-shot geologist or something, hoping they spread the word. Other than that, since debt won’t be a thing, I’d take the people I love on a killer trip around the world.

What would you do if a wizard offered to cast one spell for you, but your worst enemy got the same spell? Hmmm. I’d ask them to cast the Self-Realization spell, so they would instantly become aware of the effect their actions have on others and know exactly how terrible they’ve been to other people their whole life. Maybe then they can be a better person. My anxiety makes this spell ineffective on me, since it’s already there! Thanks, brain!

Which would you choose, never eating in the same place, always eating the same meal, always eating with the same people, or never eating with the same people? I’d choose always eating with the same people. I like frequenting restaurants I like and eating different things. I don’t think I could deal with only eating the same thing/off the same menu forever. And I have bad social anxiety, so constantly eating with new people would probably short-circuit my brain eventually. A good meal in good company is pretty great, though.

@sunlight-and-starskies‘ Questions:

What is your favorite genre of music? I’ll always be a rock fan at heart. Right now, I really like folk rock and any kind of music that sounds like it has history behind it.

What are your favorite words? Illustrious, shimmer, soliloquy, incarnate, bound, and many more. Also most Yiddish curses.

Describe your ideal vacation. Somewhere cozy where I can explore and chill at my leisure. A week of artsy events in the city. Exploring landscapes in the country.

If you could have any fictional creature for a pet, what would it be? Why? Pegasus! I can ride and they can fly. We’d make an excellent team, and where we’d go, we wouldn’t need roads.

Which fictional universe would you live in if you had to live there for the rest of your life? Logic dictates the Star Trek universe, since I’d probably be an average civilian. Post-scarcity society? Sign me the hell up. My heart, however, is screaming ROHAN.

Favorite childhood toy? Uh... I honestly can’t remember.

What is your aesthetic? Good smelling old books with doodles and notes in the margins, a pile of unfolded clean clothes on a chair, a stack of handwritten papers perched on the corner of a desk, the smell of breakfast cooking when you wake up, the immediate “woops” shock the moment you trip over something you should’ve moved earlier.

Tell me a random fact about your current project or you. About me: I have a birthmark that kinda sorta looks like an elephant. About Fish Food: The Coalition knows what happened to Hydrophase. So does Sparkplug.

Are you an early bird or a night owl? Night owl, all the way. I like the idea of being a morning person, though.

What is your favorite food? Pasta! Or any kind of Asian food.

What is your happiest memory? Oh, geez. Ummm. When I was little, I would curl up in my grandpa’s armchair and eat Burger King breakfast sandwiches on Saturday mornings.

#about me #writeblr #my process #tag game #11/11/11 tag #11/11/11 tag game #writer tag

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me-in-hogwarts-mystery · 6 years ago

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Kneazles and Corridors - Barnaby Lee x Hufflepuff!MC

Ship: Barnaby Lee x Hufflepuff!MC

Summary: Y/N is a bit suspicious about the new addition to the Cursed Vault team. As she spends more time with Barnaby, she realises it is not really about trust issues, but more a matter of the heart.

Requested: Yes - “Since you’re taking requests, could you maybe write a Barnaby x Hufflepuff Reader? Pronouns don’t really matter” - anonymous; “ Hi! Can you write a longish fic about Barnaby with female MC? Let them struggle on opening up to each other, let us see some of barnaby’s pure heart. Make it fluffy if you have the time and if you can please ❤️” - @poseidonmelezi

Warnings: None

A/N: Finally a new fic! It has been so hard to write since my computer broke :( That first request is so old, I’m so sorry but I didn’t have any ideas for anything Barnaby! I’m not very proud of this but I hope it’s decent, I had to involve creatures somehow so I chose Kneazles this time. Hope you like this!

Y/N was alone at home. It had been a long day for her - working as a Healer wasn’t easy, not that she ever thought it would be. The quiet of her house was comforting.

She took out a piece of parchment from a drawer in her desk. Writing always made her relax, for some reason, she never understood why, but it had been like that since her days at Hogwarts. She loved writing about those days: they had been the best, most exciting, and strangest of her whole life.

But what she loved more, was writing about someone who had grown to be very important for her.

I first met Barnaby Lee when we were thirteen, at the end of our third year. It hadn’t been an easy one for me: a lot of classes, a lot of mysteries, a lot of problems. I was so glad when he decided to leave Merula and help us all with the Vaults.

Our duel was fun. I admit, I’m not that much of a fighter, but with Merula threatening me ever since our first year started I sort of got used to it, after being forced to learn, and started to enjoy it. After all, no real damage is ever done… well, most of the time.

The best times came during our fourth year though. It was tougher than the previous one, yet I loved it even more.

“You still have trouble with the fact that we welcomed Barnaby in the team, Y/N. Yet it was your idea after all. What’s about him?” Rowan asked as they were walking down the corridor, heading to Potions.

“I don’t know, Rowan. There’s something with that boy… I can’t quite put my finger on it. I’m not saying it’s something bad, it’s just… I can’t understand it”.

“I’d like to know what it is”.

“I don’t know myself”.

Right after the last word had left Y/N’s mouth, a buff figure moved past them rapidly. It was Barnaby, crumples of parchment leaving his book bag as he ran, and even a big tome falling out of his arms. He didn’t seem to care, though. He was long gone when Rowan bent down to grab it, while Y/N collected the parchment.

“He’s quite the messy lad” Y/N laughed.

“Oh yes, I remember a Slytherin girl telling me he once scattered a series of drawings of magical creatures around the Common Room, not at all intentionally, if I might add”.

“How in Merlin’s name did that happen?”

The two laughed again, resuming their walk and stopping as they reached the classroom.

“I’ll keep the stuff. I’ll give everything back to him when I see him again” Y/N said, taking the big book from Rowan. She noticed it was a book about magical creatures.

Of course, she thought.

It’s not that I wasn’t fond of Barnaby. Not at all! I liked him, and quite a lot. Maybe I had some trust issues because he’d been around Merula for long before becoming our friend, yet, he had taken a jinx for me back in third year. Yes, it had been my idea - but even if I had ideas, it didn’t mean they were always good ones.

Let’s put it this way: I needed to know him better. I thought that would solve everything.

“I’m glad you agreed to grab a Butterbeer with me, Barnaby” Y/N smiled, rubbing her hands together, trying to fight the cold.

“I’m happy to spend more time with my new friends” he smiled, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck as they reached The Three Broomsticks.

The warmth of the place made Y/N let out a sigh of relief. She would be lying if she said it wasn’t her favourite winter refuge.

“I'd like to know more about you” she said as they sat, removing her scarf as her frozen limbs relaxed.

“There's not really much to know" Barnaby replied, looking down slightly, hoping his friend didn't notice. She did.

She regarded him with a raised eyebrow, and he looked at her, smiling.

“You're a bit intimidating for a Hufflepuff".

“You're not the first to say that" Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes. “Sometimes I think the Sorting Hat made a big, big mistake. Maybe as big as not putting Rowan in Ravenclaw".

“And what House do you think it should have chosen?”

“Oh, I don't know. For how reckless I am, probably Gryffindor would have been suited. But I would have probably felt at home in Slytherin too”.

“I also believe the Sorting Hat made a mistake. I'm sure it only put me in Slytherin for my family".

Y/N’s eyebrow shot up again. She wanted to know more.

“That eyebrow is very Slytherin-like" Barnaby laughed.

“Do you want to swap?”

They erupted into loud laughter. Well, at least they had one thing in common. They were both sure the Sorting Hat had been wrong.

It took us time, but in the end, Barnaby and I grew close. We became great friends.

We were always together during Care of Magical Creatures, and during that class was when the most interesting things happened.

Professor Kettleburn had just dismissed the class, and Barnaby and Y/N were heading out when suddenly, instead of going towards the castle, Barnaby took Y/N by the arm and dragged her to the Forbidden Forest.

“Barnaby? What are you doing? We’re not supposed to go there!”

“There's something I want to show you" he explained, his eyes sparkling. His hand held onto her wrist tightly and she had no choice but to follow him as he ran towards the wood.

“Hagrid is the only other person who knows about this. He told me to guard the secret with my life but I thought I could share it with you. You're not going to tell anyone, right?”

Had his eyes just become bigger?

“Of course not. But what is it?”

“Please don't have me spoil the surprise!”

They ran for a while, and when they reached a clearing Barnaby finally stopped.

“Eli! Eli, where are you?”

“Who’s Eli?” Y/N questioned, her eyebrow raised once again.

“There's no need for The Eyebrow" Barnaby chimed, his eyes skimming around the clearing, “You're going to meet her now".

Barnaby continued to call out, and all of a sudden a small Kneazle appeared from behind a bush.

“Hagrid told me I could keep her! Do you remember what I told you, that I had a Kneazle but You-Know-Who drowned it? Well, Hagrid found Eli a while ago and told me I could take care of her. I've been sneaking out of the Common Room at night for weeks now. I absolutely adore her!”

Y/N let out a breathy laugh as Barnaby proceeded to pet the creature.

“And you named her Eli?”

“Hagrid did, and I love it".

Barnaby stroked the animal’s fur for another minute or so, then gestured for Y/N to come closer.

“She's perfectly trained. Come and pet her".

With a smile, Y/N raised her hand to gently pet Eli, who purred slightly at the touch.

“She's really cute" she murmured, her eyes exploring the animal’s body as she stretched.

“She is" Barnaby whispered back, “But not the cutest".

Y/N looked at him with a questioning look, to which he smiled softly, then brought his eyes back to the creature.

When he talked about creatures he was always so happy. I could see some sort of sorrow behind his voice at all times, and I was certain it had something to do with his parents and his family background, yet when he talked about all those magical animals he was at peace.

So I decided to give him a present.

“Barnaby!” Y/N called out as she saw him walking out of Charms.

“Hello Y/N. What is it?”

His voice was strange - as always. She was sure that was going to change in a few minutes.

“There's something I want to show you" she phrased it just like he had done, but he probably didn't notice. He was still Barnaby, after all.

This time it was her dragging him around Hogwarts in a haste, just that the way was a bit longer this time… okay, a lot longer.

When they got to the familiar clearing in the Forbidden Forest, they were panting and a sweaty mess. Barnaby looked confused, his green eyes moving around, but unfocused.

All of a sudden Eli sprung out from behind a bush, but this time she was not alone. Behind her, another, smaller Kneazle followed.

“I was talking to Hagrid when I heard a familiar noise in his hut. When he told me about this other Kneazle he had found near where he’d also found Eli, I offered to take care of him. Thought Eli needed a friend by now… a friend that is of her own kind".

The two animals started playing and running around the clearing as Barnaby regarded them with something keen to awe in his eyes. A big smile broke across his features as he turned towards Y/N, who had been observing his reaction.

“This is amazing” he murmured, his face reddening, apparently without reason.

“I'm glad you like it" was Y/N’s response, her eyes wide, and her cheeks just as red as her friend’s.

They found themselves leaning in towards each other, and they closed their eyes gently as their lips came in contact, the silence of the forest making the moment magical.

The two creatures stopped their games to stare at the couple with their big eyes, and purred when they broke apart grinning.

That was our first kiss.

I would have never thought that my school boyfriend, the one I took care of Kneazles for, would have become my husband only a year after graduation.

And yet, I fall in love with him more and more, when I see him come back home with those beautiful smiles after spending a whole day among magical creatures.

“Y/N?” Barnaby's voice called from the next room as she wrote down the last words. She sighed as she broke into a grin, and raised her gaze towards the door frame, in which her husband was standing.

“Writing about our school days again?”

“How could I not?”

Y/N stood and moved over to Barnaby, wrapping her arms around him as she relaxed in the embrace.

Well, maybe sharing Kneazles is an important step in a relationship.

#barnaby lee #barnaby lee x reader #barnaby x mc #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts #hphm #hphm mc #slytherin x hufflepuff #slytherin #hufflepuff #magical creatures #kneazle #x reader

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agentkatie · 6 years ago

Note

That sarcasm prompt list you just posted is possibly one of my favourite things ever. You're right - SO MANY of them remind me of your Shepard. I like this one: “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” It sounds like something Cullen would say to Shepard after she'd been caught.

Hello! I’m a terrible writer who reblogs loads of prompt memes and doesn’t answer them! BUT I worked on a lot of them for NaNoWriMo, so here we go; not Cullen to Shepard, but Shepard to mini Shepards :D

Shepard had never expected motherhood to be easy. She’d expected to be lost, and useless, and full of terrible advice for her offspring, and she had been all of those things in her time; yet she’d had Cullen beside her throughout, the unflinching constant in her sea of fear and inadequacy, and with him there she’d started to believe she wasn’t such a terrible mother after all. Indeed, as time had ticked on she’d actually started to think she was quite good — that was, until the twins hit their fifth birthdays, and they started conspiring together.

To give them their credit, they were far better behaved than Shepard’s twin brothers had ever been; they’d run circles around her parents, causing havoc with dune buggies and air rifles as Shepard had trailed closely behind them. But her two definitely took more after her than their father; whilst Cassie spent her time drawing and singing and generally being the golden child, and David was too preoccupied with playing in dirt to cause any real trouble, the twins had a certain mischief about them which could only have been inherited from Shepard. And, all in all, it had been mostly harmless; the odd kitchen raid, an occasional wild animal loose in their home, and their frequent make-believe duels with dragons, were all simple enough to deal with.

But in hindsight, she should have hidden the scissors better.

“Girls.”

They looked as though butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths as they sat opposite her across the kitchen table; they merely smiled sweetly, Rory proudly displaying the new gap in her to row of teeth. As though they were completely blind to the pile of blonde curls on the table, and their little sister’s newly-shorn head.

“Which one of you would like to explain what’s happened to your sister’s hair?”

They exchanged a look with each other before nodding, and it was times like this Shepard was convinced they were able to read each other’s minds; it was Nova who spoke, always the first to jump in, unflinching in eye contact as she stared her mother down. “She wanted a haircut.”

“Is that really the story you’re going with here?”

“She asked us,” Nova maintained. “She wanted to play salon.”

“Alright, now you’re not just in trouble for lying; you’re also in trouble for lying badly.” Shepard took another look at Cassie, content but dishevelled in her lap, and she almost wanted to cry at the haphazard chop of her once-beautiful golden hair. “And for scalping your sister, obviously. But I’m particularly disappointed in the fact you seem to think I’m dumb enough to believe anyone would choose to look like this.”

“She wanted a haircut!” Rory cried out now, as if somehow Shepard was being the unreasonable one; with a deep breath she resisted being drawn into a shouting match, instead attempting to focus on fact.

“Cassie, did you ask for a haircut?”

“No,” she told her honestly - because of course she was honest, she was an angel, unlike her hellish sisters, “but I like new hair.”

“Oh, you’re far too good and pure,” Shepard lamented, pressing a kiss against her ravaged curls. “I can’t ever allow you out into the real world. As for you two - you’re not allowed to play outside for two weeks.”

“It’s not fair!” Rory yelped, sticking to their story despite their cover being blown. “She wanted a haircut!”

“It’s perfectly fair, seeing as you’ve just shown you can’t be trusted out of my eyesight,” Shepard maintained, ignoring the way Nova’s eyes were starting to fog with tears. “You should just be grateful it’s me and not your dad dealing with you; he’s going to lose his sh—stuff when he gets back from Denerim and sees this one looking like she got hit in the head with a weed-whacker!”

“Mama, please!” Nova sobbed. “We’re sorry!”

Every instinct in Shepard urged her to give in, to relent against those tearful puppy-dog eyes and gather up all three of her daughters in her arms; it took every ounce of her strength to instead remain firm and commit to the punishment she’d dealt out. “Go to your rooms, the both of you, and think about how you could have seriously hurt her!”

Nova wailed even as she obeyed her mother’s command; she practically fell out of her seat, dragging her feet miserably as she made her way out of the room. “Rory,” Shepard warned, focused on the more self-righteous twin now; with an indignant screech she too pushed away from the kitchen table, stomping heavily after her sister. “And don’t ever go near the scissors again!” she called after them, gritting her teeth at the furious slamming of their bedroom door.

She turned her attention to her youngest daughter again, humming placidly in her lap; she pressed another kiss to her forehead before, with a heavy heart, pulling the scissors from her pocket and setting about correcting as much of the twins’ carnage as she could. “Poor baby,” she muttered as yet more golden curls fell to the floor. “You look even more like your father now.”

- - -

Cullen’s trip to Denerim - for some pointless meeting on land boundaries which Shepard had rock-paper-scissored her way out of attending - was due to last no more than a week, and during that time Shepard strongly considered making a deal with a demon to get Cassie’s hair to grow back quicker; partly because Cullen would be insufferable when he got back and saw what had happened, but mainly because she couldn’t stand looking at her. She spent a day and a half trying to knit a hat for her, only to denounce the craft in a fit of rage after her thousandth dropped stitch; after that she tried accessorising with scarves, which could have worked if only Cassie could stop chewing them. In the end, she resigned herself to her daughter’s new crop cut, and to her sure-to-be unbearable husband.

He arrived home earlier than planned, as he usually did; she could never be certain whether that was because he couldn’t bear to be apart from them, or that he merely used his family as an excuse to escape boring meetings. Still, as she greeted him at the front porch he seemed tired but happy, the warm embrace with which he met her briefly pushing all thoughts of hair disasters from her mind.

“Hello,” he muttered against her temple as he kissed her. “I’ve missed you.”

“Hello,” she replied, smiling against his chest. “I’ve missed the dog.”

Calenhad barked in approval, pushing up onto his hind legs and throwing his entire weight onto Shepard; she staggered but remained standing under the Mabari’s best attempt at a hug, and Cullen quickly extricated their infant son from her arms. “And hello to you, too,” he said to David, kissing him on the crown of his head. “Where are my girls?”

She’d been hoping to stave off that particular subject for a little longer, aiming to distract him with a game of chess or a debate on Fereldan politics or by just taking her clothes off, but clearly that wasn’t going to work; she sighed, fussing over their dog for a precious moment further before resigning herself to her fate. “Nova and Rory are sulking, and Cassie… well, I can’t let you see Cassie for six to eight weeks.”

Cullen tensed, his entire attention focused on her despite the way his son pulled at his ear. “Why? What’s happened?”

“She’s been the victim of a vicious hairdressing attack.” Cullen relaxed again, the worry in his expression quickly shifting to relief — and then, predictably, smugness, because nothing so rebellious ever would have happened on his watch. “It was awful, Cullen. There were curls everywhere.”

“The twins?”

“Who else?”

As if on cue, Cassie and her new atrocious hairstyle appeared at the doorway, grinning broadly at her father. “Daddy!” she exclaimed, running outside and launching herself at him; he caught her deftly with one arm, holding both children tightly against his chest as he smirked at Shepard.

“Excellent job of parenting this week, my love.”

“Mama says we match,” Cassie told him, still completely oblivious to how tragic that fact was as she pulled on one of Cullen’s curls.

“I didn’t say that was a good thing,” Shepard grumbled.

“It is good.”

Shepard narrowed her eyes at her daughter, her ambivalence towards her scalping - and the twins’ continued protests of innocence - suddenly revealing a truth she’d never considered; because Cassie, sweet baby angel Cassie, was the best behaved of the lot, and if she’d now taken to mischief there was no hope for any of them. “Cassie, you told me you didn’t ask for this.”

“I didn’t.”

“Cassiopeia Shepard-Rutherford; are you lying to me?”

“No!” she exclaimed, looking thoroughly guilty as she avoided her parents’ eyes. “I— Nova wanted to play, I didn’t know! Daddy, I’m sorry!”

Turning to her father for allegiance was an act of pure manipulation, but for once it didn’t work; standing firm in a united front against deception, Cullen put her down on the floor, shooting her a disapproving look even as her lower lip wobbled. “Cassie — go to your room, and think about why lying is wrong.”

She nodded meekly before trailing back inside the house, her little whimpers equal parts pathetic and heartrending; Shepard groaned, rubbing her forehead with one hand before turning towards her husband again. “Great. All that’s left is for him to start smoking,” she grumbled, indicating to David.

“We can always have another, and try to get it right.”

She knew her husband too well by this point to believe that was simply a joke; she arched an eyebrow at him, intent on shutting him down before the idea had properly laid its roots in his mind. “Cullen; if we haven’t mastered it by four, I don’t think it’s ever going to happen.”

“But—”

“No.”

“A pity,” he sighed sadly, jostling his son in his arms, and it was clear from his look of disappointment just where his daughters had inherited their puppy-dog eyes from. “I suppose we’ll just have to make do with the ones we have.”

With a final firm shake of her head at his forlorn pout, they returned to their home — and later that night, after Cassie had apologised for lying and she had apologised to the twins, she mused that the ones they had weren’t all that bad. In fact, she thought, as she watched her husband doze in his armchair, with their son asleep on his chest, the ones they had were probably perfect.

So long as they were asleep.

[Fic Masterpost]

#cullen rutherford #commander shepard #dragon age #mass effect #cullen x shepard #my writing #prompts #mollie shepard #this is a lot of fluff #and i am updating properly SOON I PROMISE #nelsynoo

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meggellithorne · 5 years ago

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all the beautiful nostalgic moments of my youth:

1. homemade ice lollies

2. camping with my family

3. picking up acorns for the “perfect fire” with grampa

4. lanterns on New Years Eve

5. losing my favourite stick & Grampa holding my hand & following my steps to find it

6. braaing with Grampa

7. cooking with gran

8. school projects with my grandparents

9. my grade 7 lightning poster with mom

10. dad going all the way home from the airport to fetch my favorite ring so I didn’t have to leave home without it

11. mom doing me & my brothers nails in a little bowl when we were super small

12. that time I lost P200 I was supposed to give to my grade 7 teacher and had an anxiety attack and cried because I was so scared I’d get into trouble & mom gave me a hug and told me it was okay

13. trying on dresses for my matric dance with my mom & gran

14. going to milky lane & watching “When in Rome” with my gran

15. Ocean Basket with my dad

16. Perna Perna with my gran & grampa

17. drawing a whale at my grandparents house & my mom having it framed (age 7, mom drew a horse)

18. running down Kilimanjaro with my dad (even though he told my brother he’d rather have gone with him)

19. dad saying “I love you so much, you’re always on my side” one day when I was small and he came home late at night from work

20. dad bringing home two pieces of nickel from the mine for me & my little brother

21. mom teaching me how to draw shapes

22. napping at the top of my clothes cupboard because I could fit & liked to sleep in hidden places

23. my childhood friend Kyra & I picking lemons & putting them in our dresses to make boobs

24. shopping with mom

25. gran teaching me how to knit & getting me a Barbie sewing machine for my birthday

26. mom giving me a pretty purple passport doll one day when I was anxious that she was mad at me

27. gran teaching me how to plait

28. dads hugs & cuddles & little massages

29. Simba & Tigger, the most beautiful little animals

30. walking on the monkey bars with my friend Robynne every break time

31. teaching my childhood crush (Christiaan) how to write the number 3

32. making vegetable soup in my grade 1 class with Mrs Richards

33. Mrs Van de Bought taking me home and getting me an ice-cream because Harry Potter, our class movie, was really scary (age 4)

34. Shakawe with my friend Shevaun: we made up silly songs & put on a show for the family (age 11)

35. the day my dad bought home my JCB teddy bear from his company trip in London

36. Christmases in Plett, and riding our bikes all over (especially the time it flooded & we had to cycle in knee deep water, which was really fun)

37. story telling after lights out in the boarding house

38. my little brother and I climbing onto the roof when mom wasn’t home and jumping into the pool with our friend/brother Neil

39. also climbing onto the roof and having picnics

40. quad biking with our parents and squishing into pairs on the bikes

41. dressing up as a cat and climbing trees with my friend Meagan

42. switching clothes & climbing the jungle gym every time we went to Anniques house

43. picking mulberries with Jemma

44. decorating the treehouse at our new house

45. dad bringing home Patch

46. diving down & picking marula fruit out of the pool

47. singing to my little cousin Eric while we were waiting for his mom to get home (he was scared she wouldn’t)

48. playing teacher with my little brother and his friend Barend (I even gave them homework)

49. teaching my little brother how to read

50. my high school friendships, their closeness & the sisterhood (Kelly, Kieran & Tshili)

51. Aero plane trips home from boarding school with Amy

52. holding my little cousin Robbie when he was just a baby (making extra sure I was cradling his head)

53. playing barbies outside with my little brother and building whole towns

55. that carpet with the roads & a little city which we’d play cars on

56. drawing hearts with mine & Christiaans initials on the mirror after I showered

57. the day he asked me to be his girlfriend in grade 6 (we said we loved each other straight after that lol)

58. taking Simba into the bush and driving slowly behind her in the car as she ran into the wilderness

59. making little beds in my draws for Tigger

60. the furry mouse toy/memento the vet gave me after Tigger died

61. Sun City with Sean & Conner (and one time my grandparents came) on all my birthday’s.

62. when I got my first phone from my gran and Grampa

63. me & Hannah’s medieval outfits from my Aunty Carol

64. all the important people being proud of me & my good report cards

65. my walk with dad when he told me he’d like me to repeat grade 8 because I was too much younger than my peers (who bullied me)

66. watching “How to lose a guy in 10 days” every Christmas with my mom, because for some reason it always showed on TV in December

67. chewing gum for the first time on Robberg mountain

68. boogie boarding with my dad because we were too young to do it ourselves

69. dad’s French toast

70. Mom’s soup

71. lunches with my aunty & gran every Wednesday during my first year at boarding school

72. decorating my room at my gran & Grampa’s house

73. building my milk carton car with my Grampa in the back yard

74. gran’s Sunday brunches & Heckers nursery

75. singing “party for 2”, “lemon tree”, “pretty Belinda”, “away in a manger” and “grandpas old jalopy” in the car as a family during road trips

76. picking flowers and bringing them to my mom

77. making special headache bags (sandwich bags with water and flowers in them, tied with a hair band) & special soap concoctions in the shower

78. climbing the tree at the the tennis club

79. playing with red velvet mites & mophane worms & making them race

80. riding those plastic black motorbikes on the tennis courts

81. jay boarding with Reece & Kyle (and tying them to the back of our bikes to go extra fast)

82. turning a lawnmower into a go-cart with my little brother

83. spray painting fishing lures with my dad

84. drawing a horse sign for the farm with my little cousins (I was director)

85. my first kiss

86. dancing with my roommate KB at a dance I forgot the name of but had the best time at

87. singing my moms ringtone so she’d think her phone was ringing and would come find us

88. playing rugby and soccer with my dad

89. playing canasta with my dad & our secret cheat code

90. being 5 years old and insisting on like 4 outfit changes every day

91. Aunty Solfrid washing and styling my hair with little butterfly clips and doing my makeup

92. being in a dance play and getting to be a pink ballerina (age 4)

93. playing tennis with Loryn & Shevaun

94. breaks with Robyn & Tunanjina (we “invented” a game where you had to throw our school hats to each other & catch them with sticks)

95. watching high school musical with my mom & little brother

96. singing & playing “I’m a Barbie girl on repeat” with a big set of headphones

97. dressing up as a fairy or princess every chance I got

98. watching the nutcracker & Care Bears on video at my grans house

99. going to the pantomime

100. the elephant teddie bear that aunty Vicki got me when Eric was born, and the brown talking bear she got especially for me when I had pneumonia

101. helping dad with the cottage window putty

102. decorating “my room” with gran & grampa

103. boat trips with the family, dad letting us drive around the bouys & mom teaching us how to blow bubbles with chappies

104. singing “angels” by Robbie Williams with KB in the boarding house & painting our nails glittery blue

105. being a close little family & feeling loved & cherished & important

I know these are just the good moments, and that writing this made me cry because things aren’t like this anymore; but these are the moments I will always hold close to my heart - however trivial they may seem.

#fairynotes

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theyellowcurtains · 7 years ago

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Evak fic reclist

I am working on this list, it was started on the 3rd of July and I’ve read through a lot of the fics on ao3 to get this. It’s not in any particular order, except for maybe what I read it in. I am including the titles and author given descriptions. Thank you to anyone who has written these amazing works.

when your heart is bleeding, i’m coming to get you - cosetties

Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else.

we’re two little people in this big ‘ol world - cosetties

All Isak wants is a nice, romantic weekend alone with his very attractive boyfriend. Too bad his friends have a different idea.

("Then, Even will do something gross, like spill cheese on Isak’s favorite gray hoodie, or treat all of Isak’s best pens like goddamn chew toys, and scratch that. Isak’s the luckiest guy in all the worlds, all the universes.")

you’re the shit and i’m knee deep in it - cosetties

After Even has already rejected him once, after Isak is aware of Even's reputation for meaningless one-night stands, the last thing Isak should be doing is sleeping with the guy. But it keeps happening, and there's no way Isak is getting out of this with his heart intact.

with love, from anonymous - cosetties, iriswests

Isak just wants to get his coffee in peace, Even has a crush, and there's a secret admirer on the loose.

open the pod bay doors - iriswests

Even's trying to write a script for his class, Isak happens to catch a glimpse of the shit show, and they fall in love over a story of parallel universes.

True or False - iriswests

Seven moments between Isak and Even (+1 with Sonja), ranging from the ages of four and six to the ages of seventeen and nineteen, respectively.

Sideways and Slantways - iriswests

Isak gets stuck in an elevator with the one person he's vowed never to speak to again. This eventually prompts a conversation long overdue, but not without the memories flooding his brain like a broken dam first.

take me to the stars - iriswests

Isak thinks Even is pretentious and impractical. Even thinks Isak is arrogant and uptight. They’re not each other’s biggest fans, even if they do happen to have spectacular sex on a very, very drunken night. And Isak doesn’t mean to do it again, but he does, anyway, so now they’re establishing ground rules and deciding that maybe they can keep doing this, no strings attached, no commitments, no feelings, and, most importantly, no need to stop disliking each other.

And then it’s not quite that simple anymore.

Our Steady True North - verlore_poplap

(DivorcedParent!Evak)

Five times Isak and Even were amicable; plus one time they just weren't. (Plus an epilogue, I guess)

717 Miles - MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames)

The calculated flying distance from Oslo to London is equal to 717 miles which is equal to 1153 km. If you want to go by car, the driving distance between Oslo and London is 1732.79 km. If you ride your car with an average speed of 112 kilometres/hour (70 miles/h), travel time will be 15 hours 28 minutes.

Even Bech Naesheim should not be here. Well it was not his plan to be here. Not at all. Even Bech Naesheim, age 19, is supposed to be on a beach in Bali. He is supposed to be on the first stop on his Asian backpacking trip of a lifetime. THAT was the plan. That is where he is supposed to be. Not here. Alone in a house in fucking London. Being paid to look after some troubled 17-year-old.

Isak Valtersen has 3 weeks left of school. He has to survive 3 more weeks. Make it through 21 more days of hell. Then he is going to hide out in his room for the rest of the summer until he can figure out how to get his life back on track. Find a school far far away where he can start over. Not make mistakes. He doesn't need a fucking babysitter. He just doesn't. His life is fucked up enough as it is.

Cut Us Out In Little Stars - allyasavedtheday

Even Bech Næsheim.

The boy making Isak’s heart beat double-time in his chest is Even Bech Næsheim.

He can’t believe he didn’t realise it earlier. Even doesn’t have any social media and any pictures of him in the press are usually grainy or leave his appearance partly concealed through sunglasses or a hat but still.

A sick part of his brain almost wants to laugh because of course. It’s not enough for Isak to like boys when he shouldn’t, no, he has to go and like that boy.

The one boy his father would condemn him for being with without question.

An Isak and Even, Romeo and Juliet au

Things Look Different In The Morning - allyasavedtheday

“So,” he says, drawing the word out. “I told Even he could stay here.”

Isak blinks, convinced he’s misheard.

“Eskild,” he says flatly. “We don’t have a spare room.”

Eskild straightens his back, expression turning sheepish. “That’s the other part…I was thinking he could stay in your room?”

In which Even needs a place to stay, kollektivet gains a new roommate, and Isak just really wants to sleep

The Moments in Between - allyasavedtheday

It could be minutes or hours later when they finally let go of each other, though they don’t move very far.

Isak slips his hand into Even’s and presses their foreheads together once again. “Come home with me,” he whispers, a quiet request lost to the space between their mouths.

He’s close enough to hear Even swallow before his fingers tighten in Isak’s hold and he murmurs an, “Okay.”

A look at the moments between O Helga Natt and Passe på meg.

Half Blade and Half Silk - smokeshop

Isak's friends introduce him to an art student at a college party. He won't stop calling Isak baby and Isak's bad at pretending to hate it.

College AU where Isak's past is a little more colorful but Even still won't leave him alone.

The Notion of Falling - smokeshop

Isak hates Even and Even hates Isak and Sana is the only one who knows why

i could probably just curl up in you. - milominderbinder

Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even.

hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?

He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

How In My Silence I Adored You - dahlstrom

In a parallel universe, the rest of the boy squad actually shows up at the first kosegruppa meeting and Isak stays for the love games. Thus, his first interaction with Even is quite different (no paper towels were harmed in this scenario). Also heavily hints at Vilde/Eva.

I’ll Be Coming Home, Wait For Me - dahlstrom

(Trust me this fic is worth it, it’s 100% worth reading it’s lovely)

The diner AU. Even and Yousef open a 1950s American-style restaurant together - Even is the creative genius in the kitchen, Yousef keeps the trains running on time, and Isak, Chris B, and Magnus are all along for the ride. Falling in love over food while Elvis serenades from the jukebox. Welcome to the Throwback Diner.

---

The next couple of minutes are a complete blur of Yousef wishing Isak luck under his breath, then loudly saying goodbye to Even and hurrying out the door, and Even leading Isak to one of the only booths not covered with elements of the remodel, the two of them settling into their seats, Even asking him again if he’d like anything, and Isak, partly because he wants to delay things and partly because his throat now feels like fucking sandpaper, asking for some water. It’s not until he’s completely alone for a moment that he’s able to have a quick, stern talk with himself about calming down and just getting through this. If he can keep his cool for just a few minutes, do his best to ignore Even’s jawline and incredible eyes and, yeah, pretty much everything else about him, he might just come out of this with a job.

love and condoms - evenbakkas

Isak was about turn on his heels and say “Fuck it” and go home, when a tall, slender-looking boy approached him from down the aisle. Shit.

“Finding everything okay?” he asked once he reached Isak, his face entirely consumed by his smile. Judging from his choice of clothing, the boy definitely worked here. And, by the black letters scribbled on his name tag, the boy’s name was Even. Great.

Or: Isak owes Eskild a favor and Eskild sends him out to buy condoms where he runs into a tall boy who is a little too eager to help him.

My Heart is Strong - photographer_of_thoughts

(This fic actually does the most adorable thing with quoting moulin rouge and makes my heart swell with happiness, I adore that movie so very much.)

His bipolar disorder made him want everything to be a great tragedy, a Baz Luhrmann film; because how else did things have meaning? His brain told him that time and time again. He’d lost track of how many people he’d let go because he wanted to “lose them forever” and subsequently keep them forever; tucked away into the memory palace in his brain... But he didn’t want that anymore. As soon as he’d kissed Isak he knew he wanted to be better this time.

Or, Isak and Even meet in a doctor's office waiting room.

i didn't mean to kiss you (you didn't mean to fall in love) - tarjeiandhenrik

football/cheerleader au with not much football and cheerleading because i only know the basics

Membership Dues - Sabeley

Isak is pledging Even's fraternity. Even keeps having to be reminded that he's not allowed to date the pledges.

"It's a ten-week pledge period. How hard could it be?"

Famous last words.

Or, the childhood best friends AU no one asked me for.

poppin’ pills is all we know - thekardemomme

au in which Even comes into the bathroom instead of Emma

Sweet - Lisforlove

Isak is drunk and needy.

A Transference of Feeling - rumpelsnorcack

Isak hated that he was being forced to do this. He hated leaving Nissen because of his stupid parents’ stupid fights and stupid rules. Isak didn’t understand why he had to move just because they couldn’t get their shit together anymore; this felt like more punishment on top of having been left alone with his mother and all her weird moods and difficult behaviours.

Aka, the au where Isak transferred schools rather than Even.

in the place of you and me - DarkBeauty_890

“Can I tell you a secret?” Even murmurs, tracing mindless patterns- zig zags and hearts and stars and infinity signs- up and down Isak’s bare back. He circles freckles and counts them, adding them to his never ending tally of things to know about Isak.

Isak snuffles sleepily, “Mmhmm.”

“You have made me happier in less than a year, than I think I have been in my entire life.”

Eyes flicker open, hazy green; beautiful and open, “Ditto.”

whose world is this - withoutwords

It’s the same Isak who does his own laundry, and cooks his own dinner, and calls his dad for money because Eskild’s empty threats of kicking him out are starting to get on his nerves. The same walking, talking Isak.

But now he kisses boys.

I wanna hold you like you’re mine - giraffingallday

"I'm sorry? Who are you? And how would you know if Isak was really gay?"

"I’m Even, and how about because I'm his fucking boyfriend?"

Huh. This was news to Isak.

Isak is often nervous and just trying to get through his required semester of Theatre. Emma makes it a little harder until Even comes along and makes it too easy. He might fall in love somewhere along the way.

Tired of using Technology - skambition

(This is part of a short series, I would recommend the whole thing)

Isak & Even texting

... about sex, love, relationships, school, family, daily stuff, and whatever else you text about :)

Golden Boy - alotofphandoms

“Guys, not every guy is gay and wants to bang me.”

“I beg to differ.” Isak jumps when a boy sits down next to him. “Hi, I’m Even.”

~~~

“A date?” Isak almost exclaims. Even chuckles again, shaking his head slightly.

“You’ve been on a date, right?” Even jokes but his face turns slightly more serious when Isak just looks at him dumbly and shakes his head. Even gives him a smile. “I just want to get to know you, golden boy.”

~~~

Or, Isak thinks his life is great until Even Bech Naesheim waltz in and starts taking him out on dates. (Mostly fluff and flirting but I live for angst so there's a little bit of that to keep it interesting)

it’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s write - mmxii

Even suddenly stops and just looks at him for a few seconds. Then he says it.

“You’re my best friend, you know. Always have been, always will be.”

a childhood best friends au..... because there can never be enough

Skamløs - Skamtrash

AU. Even is Isak's professor and they have a thing going on

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artificialqueens · 7 years ago

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Wherever You Go I'll Follow (Multi-Ship Harry Potter AU) - Bramble

A/N: Was the wait worth it? I’ll let you decide. I am in no way a Harry Potter expert, in fact there are probably way more people out there more capable of writing this than me, but I can appreciate amazing literature and films. The ships in this fic include: Sashea, Trixya and Shalaska. You will learn each of their backstories as time goes on. There are time jumps back and forth throughout. If you have any suggestions for this fic – or any of my fics in general – feel free to message me at dragqueenlayouts or unhhhjustsometrash.

Lesbian Harry Potter AU. Enjoy!

Part 1

[SHALASKA]

To say that Alaska didn’t understand the significance of being sorted into Slytherin house would have been an understatement to say the least.

You see, Alaska’s family didn’t know much about anything concerning wizarding culture to begin with. The had been as surprised as anyone when they, by all standards a totally average family, received a letter explaining that the youngest child had been invited to learn magic. Since the letter had been delivered extensive research had been carried out. Though to their dismay not much could be gathered and so their youngest was sent off to pretty much the unknown.

To say that Alaska’s parents had been rather willing would have been an understatement to say the least.

Alaska found out very quick, within maybe half an hour of her sorting, that Slytherin was regarded as the elitist quarter of Hogwarts. She found that fact out when she was met with almost angry looks from most of the long table. After a few weeks Alaska was better suited to the culture, and by then she understood the significance of a shy, quiet muggle-born being sorted into Slytherin. The cherry on top of it all? Alaska wasn’t even particularly the greatest at magic.

To say that green fastly became Alaska’s least favourite colour would have been an understatement to the least. _____ However, her thoughts on green changed pretty swiftly. Alaska had a personal vendetta for anyone who had ever doubted her. They would soon learn why you should never underestimate this muggle-born Slytherin. Within the first week Alaska thought she wasn’t Slytherin, she didn’t understand why the hat had sorted her into it. But over time all Alaska wanted to do was to prove break down the stereotype that Slytherin meant manipulative villain. This led Alaska to now. In the courtyard strategically angled in her small circle of friends so that she was facing her next person of interest. The one person she had tried to stay clear of for the past six years. Now in her seventh year trouble had aroused stemming directly from the source which threatened to derail all of Alaska’s hard work. Now more than ever did Alaska have a strong disliking for one Sharon Needles, the resident trouble maker.

Alaska had been warned in her first year about Needles. Her family were some form of Hufflepuff Royalty. Her mother and father had both been Hufflepuff and her older brother too. So, it had come to a shock in the system to everyone when Sharon was sorted into Slytherin. Sharon too had been like Alaska when she was first sorted. She felt like her life was over, she was the first in her family to not be Hufflepuff. She felt like she had let her family down by being Slytherin. Over time Sharon’s heart grew dark and she let the title of Slytherin go to her head and instead of sticking true to herself and how she had been raised, Needles played up to stereotypes and allowed herself to be corrupted. It had been a shame to all the professors who loved the Needles family to watch Sharon self-destruct. It had been a bigger shame when the professors had to keep her back a year because of bad work and failed tests.

Now Alaska had made it her mission to discover the truths of Sharon Needles and unearth the deepest secrets of why she was so cold. _____ [SASHEA]

It had been the third or fourth time Sasha had read the same line from her Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook, but to no avail, the subject matter just wouldn’t stick. She blinked as she lifted up her gaze to the stacks of numerous books she had hidden herself behind. She was to distracted. Distracted because she still wasn’t here. Granted, she was more often late than on time and Sasha had made it more of a hide and seek game than a beginning of a lesson. But today Shea was later than usual but Sasha shrugged it off as she knew there was Gryffindor Quidditch game. Sasha rolled back the sleeve of her robe to check the time. Shea was thirty minutes late today. Sasha stood up from behind the stack books to examine the muffled chuckles come from the entrance way of the library. Rolling her eyes Sasha sat back down crossed legged as she waited for Shea to fight off her friend Trinity who was trying to pull her another direction, no doubt to celebrate another victory on the Quidditch field.

Sasha didn’t know Shea too well but what she did know didn’t impress her much. Sasha was a Ravenclaw, hard-working and all about education. Shea was a Gryffindor, brave and a struggling student. She definitely needed Sasha. What really rubbed Sasha the wrong way was how care-free Shea was, she had a very lackluster approach to their tutoring sessions. After all, Shea was the one who had asked Sasha to tutor her. _____ Shea was popular. That was a sure thing. She was also very smart on top of her stellar performances on the Quidditch field, managing to obtain a high score on her Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. However, she found herself falling behind in DADA in the middle of sixth year. If she wanted to do well on her N.E.W.T. she would have to work very hard. Her Hufflepuff friend, Peppermint, had suggested getting a tutor. Citing that some Ravenclaw student would be more than happy to help and if Shea needed it that she could ask for her. Of course, Shea’s pride got in her way and left it until the start of seventh year to seek help. To which Trinity would make sure she asked Sasha, a bald headed Ravenclaw who Shea had been observing for some time now. Although Trinity wasn’t so subtle with her approach and with a rather harsh shove in the stairwell by Ravenclaw’s common room Shea was sent tumbling into Sasha. Whose natural instinct was to be a tad bit annoyed since her books had been sent downwards towards the ground.

Shea took that as her queue to get back on the bald girl’s good side. Unfortunately, Sasha had the same idea to grab her books as Shea did at the same time resulting in a game of bumping heads. There was nothing delicate about their first official meeting. And Shea being put on the spot, feeling like she was under a microscope only meant her question came out rather rushed and jumbled. Her usual proud, brave front was cracked and falling apart in front of the Ravenclaw student. Blue quickly became a fond colour to Shea, though she never showed it too much. _____ [TRIXYA]

Anger was not something Trixie felt often. It was something she expressed even less. But now as she stood outside the stone wall in Hogwarts Castle which locate the Slytherin Dungeon. Tapping her foot, she stood with her arms crossed across her chest with her robe lazily thrown on.

Inside the common room Katya sat on the floor drawing up another one of her sketches until Violet interrupted her. “Your girlfriend is waiting outside for you.” Katya’s face twisted in confusion. It wasn’t date night, hell it wasn’t even time that they usual spent together. This hour was dedicated for Trixie to do her work and Katya to twiddle her thumbs. Her stomach dropped as she realised what Trixie could potentially want. It was Trixie’s blue eyes that narrowed dangerously at Katya as she sheepishly climbed out of the Slytherin Dungeon.

“Hey, Tracy,” she said as she tried to avoid the piercing stare.

“I, um” Katya couldn’t help but to gulp. She was in big trouble, it was easy to tell. “I get that you’re not happy with me, but-”

“Oh, you know that, do you?” Trixie asked, her tone sharper than normal. “Tell me then, why am I mad at you? Tell me Katya why what you did that was beyond stupid.”

Katya grimaced, Trixie was never mad at her, ever. “I-I know I shouldn’t have tried to be friends with the giant squid, but-”

“No but’s! Katya, you could have gotten expelled if caught. You’re lucky everyone likes you around here enough not to rat you out. You made the giant squid float out of the lake!”

“But it looked lonely. You don’t understand seeing it float by the windows of the common room all alone breaks my heart.”

Trixie sighed and threw her hands down to her side. “It’s not supposed to leave the lake. Don’t pull this kind of stunt again, not unless I’m there with you, I won’t let you get kicked out of here without me. Got it?”

Katya’s eyes grew wide as an ear-splitting grin wound up on her face. Her heart tightened and swelled. Trixie wasn’t mad at her, she was mad she wasn’t there too.

“Good because I had to find out from Jasmine Ginger and you know what I think of them. Now go back inside finish doing nothing and meet me at the Whomping Willow in an hour.” _____

#bramble #shalaska #trixya #sashea #lesbian au #harry potter au #katya zamolodchikova #trixie mattel #alaska thunderfuck #sharon needles #sasha velour #shea coulee #rpdr fanfiction #wherever you go

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365footballorg-blog · 6 years ago

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'The pressure is now on Messi' - relentless Ronaldo lights up World Cup

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“The night was about Cristiano. He is relentless in his pursuit of greatness. What he is doing on the world stage is ridiculous.”

Match of the Day pundit Rio Ferdinand said he “couldn’t breathe” as former Manchester United team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat-trick, including an 88th-minute equaliser, as Portugal drew 3-3 with Spain in a classic World Cup encounter.

Ronaldo, as he so often does, had the last word in a match full of drama, as Spain came within minutes of securing a happy ending to a turbulent week in which they sacked their manager a day before the start of the tournament.

So just how good was this Ronaldo display? Well, his was the star turn in a match that is sure to be remembered for years to come.

“I’m going to get a flight back tomorrow because I won’t see a better game,” joked former England winger Chris Waddle.

Watch highlights from Sochi thriller

Ronaldo rescues Portugal in classic

Who beat Ronaldo to be named man of the match?

What did Ronaldo do?

It took just over three minutes for Portugal’s captain to make his mark on the game in Sochi, drawing Nacho into a foul in the area and converting the penalty with trademark cool.

Diego Costa equalised brilliantly but Ronaldo struck a second time, David de Gea’s uncharacteristic fumble into the net a gift to the Real Madrid man.

Costa scored again to make it 2-2 before Nacho made amends with a sublime strike to put Spain 3-2 up.

But then came that free-kick…

A one-in-45 shot

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Standing over the ball as De Gea set his wall and with just two minutes remaining, there seemed no doubt Ronaldo would find the top corner. And yet history suggested otherwise.

It was Ronaldo’s first goal from a direct free-kick in 45 attempts at major championships. Perhaps we should have expected him to hit the wall instead.

“One or two will ask why I said at half-time Ronaldo needs to work on free-kicks, well it’s because it took him 45 attempts, but he did it,” said former England captain Alan Shearer.

“It’s a brilliant free-kick and it is technically so difficult to do,” added former England midfielder Danny Murphy. “He went over and around the wall and it had all sorts of bend and dip on it.”

Speaking on Russia Today, Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho offered a reminder that Ronaldo’s free-kick record has worsened since his days at Old Trafford and early years at Real, but added that “this one was the critical one”.

“There are players for some matches, there are players for every match and there are players for special matches. The players for special matches are the ones,” the Portuguese added.

Over to you, Lionel…

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Lionel Messi is another of those ones. Ronaldo’s pursuit of greatness has been inextricably linked with that of the Argentina forward, who starts his campaign against Iceland on Saturday.

“A little sub-plot to it is now the pressure is mounted on Messi’s shoulders after watching Cristiano here,” said Ferdinand.

“He’ll deliver,” came the reply from Cesc Fabregas on Match of the Day. Fabregas, of course, played with Messi at Barcelona between 2011 and 2014.

Former Scotland winger Pat Nevin said Ronaldo would have “hated” the discussions before the tournament about whether this will be Messi’s World Cup.

“Cristiano has raised the bar so Iceland could be in trouble,” he added.

Level with Puskas – greatness in numbers

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This was Ronaldo’s 51st hat-trick for club and country, a “personal best” according to the man himself.

It comprised his 82nd, 83rd and 84th international goals, putting him joint-second on the all-time list alongside Hungary legend Ferenc Puskas, now trailing only Iran’s Ali Daei on 109.

Will he surpass that mark? Or is it a case of when?

Ronaldo also became the first man in history to score in eight consecutive major tournaments with his early penalty against Spain. Where will that streak end?

“Cristiano is the best in the world and I hope in Qatar once again he is going to score in a World Cup,” said Portugal coach Fernando Santos, feeling his side’s 33-year-old talisman can extend his international career until 2022.

Despite the brilliance of his performance, Ronaldo was quick to try and make his team the focus at the full-time whistle.

“The most important thing is to highlight what the team has done,” said Ronaldo. “The game was about to end and we managed to equalise so we are happy.

“We are not the favourites so we will try to do our best. The team is doing very well and we are going to do well for sure.”

Portugal’s next Group B game is against Morocco on Wednesday at 13:00 BST, while Spain face Iran at 19:00, no doubt happy to see the back of Ronaldo, for now at least.

“When you are playing a player like Ronaldo these things can happen,” said Spain coach Fernando Hierro.

“It is extremely fortunate for whichever team has him, but I certainly would not change him for any of the players in my squad.”

Where does it rank?

Ronaldo’s hat-trick is likely to become one of the most memorable World Cup moments and this match one of the best in the competition’s history.

“It was one of the best World Cup games I’ve seen – especially in a group stage. It augurs well for the rest of the World Cup,” said Match of the Day presenter Gary Lineker.

But were does Ronaldo’s performance rank? Here are some of the best individual displays in World Cup history…

Oleg Salenko – Russia 6-1 Cameroon (USA 1994) – Salenko remains the first and only player to score five goals in a single World Cup game. It was enough for him to earn a share of the Golden Boot, even though Russia went out in the first round.

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Sandor Kocsis – Hungary 8-3 West Germany (Switzerland 1954) – Kocsis followed a hat-trick against South Korea with four in Hungary’s group-stage demolition of West Germany. The great Hungarian side seemed destined to be world champions, only to be stunned by the Germans in the final.

Zinedine Zidane – France 3-0 Brazil (France 1998) – Zidane bossed the 1998 final, taking France to the world title on home soil. He scored twice and dismantled a Brazil team rocked by the loss of their talisman, Ronaldo.

Eusebio – Portugal 5-3 North Korea (England 1966) – North Korea were heading for perhaps the biggest shock of all time when they led Portugal 3-0. Enter Eusebio, who scored four unanswered goals, including two from the spot.

Geoff Hurst – England 4-2 West Germany (England 1996) – To this day still the only hat-trick in a World Cup final, one that carried England to the greatest day in their footballing history and earned Hurst a knighthood.

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'The pressure is now on Messi' – relentless Ronaldo lights up World Cup was originally published on 365 Football

#&039The #lights #Messi&039 #pressure #relentless #Ronaldo #world

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sportsleague365 · 8 years ago

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Excellent mailbox. Now keep sending mails to [email protected] Question of the day It may have been said before, but could someone explain to me the difference between Guardiola and Kevin Keegan please? Stewart Request of the day That was awesome. What a match. Can all matches be like that please? Gavin, a United that thoroughly enjoyed that! Glory be to the diving header Can we just take a moment to appreciate a moment of retro finishing by Falcao last night. There’s not many better sights than seeing a goal scored from a proper diving header. My childhood was full of these glorious images. Keith Houchen in the 87 cup final still remains one of my favourite ever goals. When and why did the diving header become so rare? DazzaT8, LFC Fan, Calderdale …It’s been ages since I’ve seen something like that, the last rare occurrence was back in 2014 I guess. Nope, neither the epic football encounter, nor a high scoring football match, but a DIVING HEADER! Used to have a lot back then (thanks Mr. Larsson), now its a rarity. Surely a top ten compilation is due? Syfq Amr, a bias Gooner I want that back please I really miss real European football. City/Monaco was as good as United’s 3-3 draws with Barca in the Treble season. Chris MUFC Winners and losers from just one game Winners Man City A 5-3 score line means that City go into the near leg of this tie with a two-goal head start. ‎Almost makes up for having to score four away goals if Monaco win their home game. Leroy Sane Mercurial last night. Plaudits are due elsewhere but that kid will go places. His decision making is impeccable. He carries the ball with poise and grace. City’s stand-out player last season‎ was Kevin de Bruyne but with Sane operating on the left flank, balance. Silva also deserves a mention. Kun Aguero. Sublime. If only one goal tells of how sublime ‎El kun is its his second of the night when the keeper saw and watched him line up the shot and pose for a block, but the ball was so well struck that it must have had subasic wondering if he was mad of ectoplasm. The ball practically went through him without touching him. Sterling deserves a mention as well. Peps half-time talk. Don’t know what he said to them but if City can master their entire game like they did in that second half then they might be unto something. I predicted a City win with lots of goals (everyone did)‎ but not one expected such a rollercoaster. Falcao A friend told me about Falcao’s form coming into the game and he did not disappoint (barring the penalty miss) ‎a diving header and a beautiful chip. Had he scored the penalty it would have been his night and not City’s. Another testament to what they say about format and class. Mbappe was good too. Monaco and away goals. A two-goal deficit, but ‎three away goals. Enough to work with? Over to you Mr Jardim. Losers Monaco and game management. They had the game in the bag. Could have gone back home with something. It should have been easy to just sit back and hit City on the break. They let it get away from them. Even either the penalty miss they should still have managed a draw at the very least. Defending We may blame Stones and Otamendi and condemn them to flop land, but we can’t say any better for the way Monaco defended. They were even worse. ‎The score line might have been exciting but it does not say much for either team’s chances of winning this competition. Not with such defensive frailties. Defenders I mean it was so bad that I have to ‎put this in another category. Stones is young and needs more experience. Otamendi should be benched or sold. Organisation and calm is a big part of defending, but Otamendi defends as though he is the only defender and not in a good way. The effort is there obviously, but as far as headless chickens go… ‎As for Monaco, they should have won but for their inability to manage their lead. Double losers. ‎Antonio matteu. The referee seemed to be enjoying the game so much that he just let loose. Can’t really say he had a bad game, but had the result gone against City, there would be a lot of disgruntled fans in the blue half of Manchester. ‎At least he got the Aguero yellow right. Gotta love CL refs. Better but worse. (hello Ovrebo) ‎Paul, CFC (Man that was hard. Kudos to you guys who have to draw 16 Conclusions from every big game even the boring ones) Stones: Performance art I know he scored but that doesn’t compensate for what a truly awful defender John Stones is. Every time I watch him play I become more and more convinced he’s not actually a professional footballer but rather a performance artist/prankster’s long-drawn out project to show just how over-hyped and over-valued young English players are and that Guardiola is just the victim of a new series of Real Hustle. Simon Clarke …Of course Stones had to go and score a goal to try and change my opinion of him. I’d still rather my defenders know how to defend instead of seeking redemption at the far post. Eoin (he’ll score again and make me look an even bigger fool) Ireland Wow…what a bloody game I was lucky enough to be at the City game last night and well, what a game! Thought I’d write in with a few observations: – First off the atmosphere was electric, as you’d expect with a game like that, the South Stand was absolutely rocking and we got fully caught up in it. The Monaco fans weren’t the loudest I’ve seen here [hats off to Gladbach] but they gave a good account of themselves and as far as I saw I didn’t see any trouble around the city, chatting to a few both during the day and after the match and they all seemed like a good bunch. It was an incredible game for a neutral and I’m usually another of the tourist fans that contribute to the lack of noise around the stadium, but last night I couldn’t help but be a City fan for the evening, the game really had it all. – City’s tactic of switching to a back three when attacking with Fernandinho pushing into midfield was delightful and made them look so dangerous going forward, but they were consistently exposed down the left as Monaco looked to expose the space as the back four shuffled over. When Pep brought Zabaleta on I expected that was to counter that however Sagna often did the same although not so much of an issue when he switched to the right… – Zabaleta was really poor, my mate commented pretty soon after he came on saying he looks like he’s been playing a hundred minutes already. Regularly caught out of position, seemed far too casual and next to Stones who looked lacked awareness consistently was a disaster waiting to happen, and it duly did. Monaco continued to enjoy attacking down the left flank. – We debated it heavily after the game and it was hard to pick between Sterling and Aguero for City’s best player, Sterling made some excellent runs, his link-up play was spot on and he deserved his goal. We settled on Aguero though, as well as his two goals, he dropped deep for the ball at the right times, tracking back successfully and making a handful of notably important tackles. He looked like he playing with a real point to prove and his volley was really well taken. – That Mbappe can really play. I hope the Arsenal links are true, but I’ve grown cynically accustomed not to pay any particular heed to gossip surrounding us until they’ve signed on the line that is dotted. Monaco played some quick transitions and harried City’s back line incessantly having some real joy in the opening stages of the game in particular. Falcao must be really glad to have seen the back of England, that experiment really didn’t work out and I think coming in so quickly off the back of that injury really got him off to a less than ideal start. He looks back to his best and despite a poorly taken penalty played really well and to put away that lob at such close quarters lob was sublime. By far and away the best goal of the night. – Back to Stones, I’m by no means writing him off. He must have shown a lot of promise to all his coaches and the scouts that have seen him to have risen through the game the way he has, but there surely has to come a point where that potential actually translates into something? For large parts of the game he played like he didn’t have a defensive bone in his body, and the whole stadium saw that cut in and shoot coming from a mile off. He seemed genuinely gutted after it and you had to feel for him, glad he got his redemption with the goal. I’ve been to the Etihad a few times since moving to Manchester and I’ve caught some brilliant games here – the Liverpool 4-1, the Chelsea game this season and 2-2 Arsenal the last [for which I was sat in the home end right by the away fans and had to pretend to be a City fan all game. It was poorly thought through, a surreal and mostly unpleasant experience] but this was by far the best of the bunch and what the Champions League is all about! Joe, AFC, Manchester [You signed Phil Jones, we signed Kun Aguero, Kun Aguero] …Quite possibly one of the best football matches ever. Yeah there was some really shoddy defending. However, most people watch football for entertainment purposes, I defy anyone to say that wasn’t entertaining. The are also serious issues that need addressing, but as has been said by both Mourinho and Pep, you can’t change a whole team in one season. So I’m not going to write about them, enough people will be paid to do so in the press. Being a City fan for 20+ years, I have seen my fair share of crazy emotional rollercoaster style games but last night was on another level. After the first goal I was very happy, fantastic skill from Sane and good composure from Sterling. Then Willy and the defence happened and it was suddenly 1-2 Monaco. Little side point, it was really good to see Falcao back to full health and looking sharp. The man was a beast before his injury a few years back. After a quick half time breather, it was 2-2, Sergio! Sergio! Get in, we are back in this! Then Falcao again 2-3, with a sublime finish after making Stones look like a child, and I’m thinking that’s it we’re done. Cue lots of stick off people. BUT NO! The boys only went and pulled out one of the best comebacks ever out the bag. Aguero with a lovely finish, then Stones with a nice goal to redeem himself. Then to top it off, Sergio Aguero on a hat-trick. Having been quite greedy at times recently, plays the ball to Sane who scores and the place erupts, I erupt, my United-supporting brother erupts. It’s 5-3 to City and I’m a mess, I felt like laughing and crying at the same time. That Ladies and Gentlemen is why Football is the greatest game on the planet. In 90 minutes you can experience nearly every emotion possible. Not many other things in life can claim that. I have no clue how the second leg will go. We need to pull out a defensive masterclass, but that isn’t likely. So maybe we will need to outscore the best attack in Europe…again. DANNY B – MCR – MCFC (Our first great European night?) …I was at the Etihad last night to witness one of the best games I’ve seen there. If football is about anything it’s about being able, on occasion, to watch a game like that and hope that the next one you go to makes you feel just as good. I’ve been lucky enough to have a few of those over the last few years but this was probably the best yet. Even at 2-1 and 3-2 down I had to admit is was breathtaking to watch and Monaco were outstanding at times. The quality of their final ball into the box was the best I think I’ve seen. But a huge amount of credit should go to the City players. There aren’t many teams that could go toe to toe with Monaco in terms of attacking intent and it made for a fantastic game of basketball-football. There have been more important games and more relevant results in terms of trophies of course, but that was 90 minutes about the game, not about the tie or the competition, just about the game. Sure there was terrible defending and listening to the radio on the way home you’d think the whole point of football was to eke out a lifeless 0-0 for the purists. But seeing John Stones redeem himself with a goal that was all about will power and Willy doing what he does best, which is save penalties and Sane slaloming through the Monaco defence. Wow, I mean, just wow. But to be fair Falcao’s finish got more than a few appreciative nods in the stands and Bernardo Silva was outstanding for Monaco. And don’t get me started wth Mbappe. And 10 bookings across both teams. I can barely remember a bad foul. It just felt like both teams were resigned to the fact that the only way they could stop the other was by taking a booking for a tug or a trip. I know it’s only half over and I know we could easily be dicked over there or indeed go through 10-10 on away goals, but last night was all about a fantastic game with some brilliant players going at it for 90 minutes in a small microcosm of pure football drama. The players knew it too, so when they raised their arms at the end, it wasn’t because they thought ‘job done’, it was because they were acknowledging they had been part of a simple, beautiful game football and whatever else happens this season it was a real acknowledgment of, and connection to, the fans. It’s why I go to football matches. It’s why I bother watching any football at all to be honest. You just hope you get to see a game played the way kids play football. Steve, Manchester In defence of CL games on BT In response to SW’s claim that the MNC vs Monaco game should have been on free to air TV I’d like to actually praise the coverage that it did get. I’m not going to disagree that it should have been on terrestrial TV but there is an awful lot to commend about BT’s coverage. I tend to watch my football on my tablet, propped up next to my monitor while I’m on my PC or catching up on work on my laptop of an evening (because I’m a boring working dad). The best thing about the service they offer is that I have the option of flicking between all of the games that are in progress and also scrolling backwards to see any goals that may have been scored, as well as yellow or red cards. If the games are boring then I can concentrate on my other screens, but if there is a goal or flashpoint then I can go and review that and decide if I want to watch the rest of the game. Yes, it comes at a premium of £20-odd but the convenience makes it worthwhile for me. I’m not saying that BT Sport is a must for everyone, but it is definitely an object lesson in how games can be presented that Sky, ITV, BBC and possibly Channel 4 next year simply don’t do. Phil, THFC Sad state of affairs for Hong Kong football So, with the arrival of play-off rounds in European cup competitions, the group stages of the Asian Champions League is starting this week too. After a long long absence, a representative from the Hong Kong Premier League is in the group stages this season. It should be a great thing for Hong Kong football fans, however, due to poor management and handling of matters, things are turning sour very quickly… It started before the beginning of this season, when Eastern, last season’s champions, held a press conference stating that due to investment and sponsorship issues, the club will part with all foreign players and high earners, leaving only a core of youngsters to participate in the league, at the same time withdrawing from the Asian Champions League, passing on the spot to last season’s runners-up, Kitchee. In preparation for the Asian Champion League, Kitchee then started scouting and eventually brought in a few quality players from Europe, only for Eastern to hold another press conference right before the registration deadline to announce that they have solved the sponsorship issues and will take their place in the Asian Champions League back. What’s more, for tonight’s match away to Guangzhou Evergrande, Eastern announced two days ago that all travelling fans will not be admitted to the stadium even with the tickets, without giving a proper reason why, just saying it’s an arrangement from the home side and they will provide a compensation of 3000 dollars (that’s about 320 pounds) to each of the ticket holders. Rumours has it that the Chinese government is worried that part of the travelling group will include some Hong Kong people who resented the Chinese government and may display banners or perform actions to show their resentment during the match. Meanwhile, the rule of allocating a certain % of seats to away fans is completely ignored. As for the home leg next month, tickets went on sale last week, without any restrictions. As a result, half of the 6000 tickets found their way to the hands of the Guangzhou Evergrande fans, meaning half of the 6000-seat stadium could possibly be filled with away fans. That would be a really spectacular sight indeed…. Sam S., Hong Kong A long, sad mail about Derby I know there’s not a wealth of Championship correspondence in the Mailbox, so I thought I’d email to sum up my current thoughts about my team, Derby County. Having just got in from watching us play our first ever home league fixture against Burton Albion, with Nigel Clough returning for the first time since he was sacked, this seemed like a good time to reflect on a few things. Firstly, and obviously, Burton have done an incredible job to come as far as they have, and were absolutely brilliant tonight. Their fans were fantastic, they defended brilliantly, they got it, barring the lack of a goal, just right. We were poor, but nothing should be taken away from Burton. Some Derby fans seem to think of it as humiliating that we are in the same league as them, but it’s clearly something that says a whole lot more about Burton than it does about us. Secondly, in the lead-up to this game I’ve heard and read a lot of Derby fans saying it’s all been downhill since we sacked Clough. I have a lot of respect for Nigel Clough and the job he did with us, but that’s clearly rubbish. He guided us through a very difficult time, and without him we could easily be a division or two lower than we are now, but he hit a glass ceiling in terms of what he could achieve with the players he’d brought in. If any Derby fan would trade the last three and a half years, regardless of how those seasons have ended, for attritional football in lower mid-table with an ever-changing cast of anonymous loanees, I’d want to know what they’re smoking. My first match was in 1997, so this is my 20th season supporting Derby. This puts me at the younger end of the spectrum, too young to have enjoyed our glory years for certain, but 20 years is still a long time. In that time we have managed four play-off finishes. Two have come in the last three full seasons. Between 1999 (the end of our last ‘golden period’, and one I remember but was too young to really appreciate) and Steve McClaren’s first appointment in 2013, we managed a grand total of four top-half finishes. The last three seasons we’ve finished 3rd, 8th and 5th. By the standards of the last 20 years the last few years have been a veritable golden age for us. Now, obviously, things are not entirely rosy. We’ve had far too much managerial instability. Since McClaren was sacked we’ve spent vast amounts of money to end up with a squad that’s arguably weaker than the one he left us with. In the short term, we’re on a poor run of form and can, at best, now enter the ‘there’s always next year’ period. But to hear some of our fans you’d think we were in a worse state than Coventry or Blackpool, to pick a couple of examples. You hear often from pundits how fans of teams like Newcastle and West Ham have a certain reputation for getting on the backs of their players. We hear that away teams are told, when visiting these clubs, to keep the opposition at bay for 15 minutes, and the crowd will turn. They’ll boo and nag their own players until they make mistakes. I’d eat my hat if teams don’t get these instructions when they visit Derby, and with good reason. Tonight I heard boos because of an overhit pass in the fifth minute. One man who sits down the row from me has been known to boo after wins before. It’s a toxic atmosphere and there’s no way it can be a positive thing. I look up at the teams in the play-offs. Reading, Huddersfield and Leeds all have one thing in common: they’ve been crap for the last few years. That means that, this season, now they’re doing well, there’s a greater degree of excitement and faith and just sheer joy about them than teams who expect to be challenging for promotion every season. We had that in the 2013/14 season. It’s a cliché but there was a carnival atmosphere at the stadium. The whole city seemed excited. The moment we lost the play-off final, it dissipated. It went from being a novelty to an expectation that we would win. When we didn’t win, the angrier sections of the crowd could immediately point to the fact that we’d beaten the same team last season. The word ‘bottle’ suddenly started getting thrown around willy-nilly. There’s an argument that, for the first half of that season, before we slipped and fell out of the play-offs, we’d been a better side than the season before, and yet it was no fun. That’s the key theme of supporting Derby for the last few years. Even though this should have been a golden era, except for one season it’s been no fun, because expectations have sky-rocketed beyond reality. So where are we now? Not good enough to go up, frankly. We’re a hodge-podge of four different managers’ signings, all signed with the intention of changing our style of play, a style abandoned with each sacking. Some fans – the fans who were quiet when we were climbing from the relegation zone to the play-offs and breaking club records for consecutive clean sheets a couple of months ago – want McClaren gone, or are now insisting they never wanted him back. Of all the managers we’ve gone through in the last few years there’s none I’d trust more to take us up, but he needs to be given time to fix the squad. I have a feeling that, for all that we’ve bemoaned our knee-jerk sackings – well, maybe not Nigel Pearson’s – a lot of fans don’t want that time to be given. I hope I’m wrong and it’s just a vocal minority. Unfortunately they’re very vocal. This is all a bit long and rambling, I know, but the basic point is this: I’ve been supporting Derby County for a fifth of a century, and while I love them dearly we have been, for that time, just another club, in the grand scheme of things. It’s a shame that a lot of our fans are happy to turn us into ‘one of those clubs’. JM, DCFC Always liked that John Murray Whilst listening to the always erudite John Murray discussing ‘piegate’ (urgh) on 5live last night it occured to me “Bloody hell he sounds like the mailbox last week”. Deftly avoiding the asinine subject of an idiot ruining his ‘career’ in thrall to a betting corporation Murray turned the discussion towards the real problems of obscene amounts of money washing through the game thanks to said bookies. He then, affirming my suspicion, namechecked Jonny Nic’s piece last week. So I just wanted to say John, if you are reading, love your work, keep on keeping on. TGWolf (Bugger a selfie, I’ll shout aimlessly into the void instead) THFC The post Thank you Man City and Monaco; we’re in love again appeared first on Football365.

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